#i dont anyone is going to bother to decode THAT huh!?

[nerdy-hyperfixations]

I'm actually dying rn because of "pleas"

I even said to myself "should I verify that I actually fully spelled all the words? Bc usually when I write in code I miss letters since I can't see the word" and I thought "noooo I wouldn't do this long acknoledged mistake again! I'm sure it's fine" KILL ME.

[reidsnose]

Nose Taps (spencer reid x reader)

overview: the newest member of the bau develops a cute secret language with the resident genius

genre: fluff

a/n: this is my first fic so my apologies if its bad lol i tried. also its very short sorry ! but yeah lmk if u like it :)

masterlist

From the first day you walked through the doors of the BAU, you were incredibly charming in a unique way. You knew exactly how to talk to everyone, an amazing intuition letting you know just what to do. Spencer's curiosity had fallen on you; he was absolutely enthralled by your entire being.

the first thing that caught his attention was when you hand had accidentally grazed his.

it was a small meaningless gesture as you slipped past him, but he thought about it for weeks afterwards, in a good way. he thought about your smile as you apologized for "bumping into him". he missed the tingles that shot up his arm where your skin met his.

the second thing was much larger, he began to notice your kindness.

on only your second day in the office you stayed late to help hotch with paperwork so he could get home to jack faster. it was not a selfish act to get on his good side, rather an act of complete and utter kindness.

you brought JJ cheetos when she was feeling down because you saw her munching on them on the jet once.

you even got morgan to talk about his feelings for 4 hours one night after something was clearly bothering him. and morgan never talks about his feelings.

though you had just recently met them, you showed them how sweet you were without even trying. and Spencer Reid was no exception.

you stayed attentive to everyone who spoke to you, and when you noticed that people would often interrupt him or brush him off, it didn't sit right with you. after talking to him about it, the two of you developed a system. every time he didn't get to finish his thought, you would tap your nose to show him you noticed and wanted to hear about it later. then, at the end of the day, either in the hotel or on the jet, you would tally up the number of nose taps and he would get to ramble about all of it to you. it wasnt intentionally a secret but it was kept between you two, your little thing.

spencer thought it was the most endearing and kind thing anyone had done for him.

and you ate up every second of it, watching his eyes grow wide and then crinkle at the corners when he grew giddy about a certain statistic or historical story. you didn't understand how anyone could not want to listen to him.

soon, however, the nose taps evolved into something more. a whole little language grew between the two of you.

one nose tap from either party meant "im listening".

two nose taps meant "i have to tell you something".

three meant "i have to tell you asap".

an eyebrow tap meant "this reminded me of you" or "im thinking about you".

so on and so forth.

the team picked up on this little code between the two of you, but couldn't for the life of them understand what it all meant or when it had started. to be fair, they didn't have much time to decode while on cases.

to Spencer, this secret language was his most treasured peice of knowledge. And to you, it was your most treasured secret. and to both, unforgettable.

though Spencer had noticed your striking beauty when he first laid eyes on you, spending tome with you only intensified it. he found himself often marveling at the little details, especially on the jet.

the way your hair fell on your shoulders, the angle of your eyelashes, the blush that graced your cheeks when you laughed, the way you chew on your lip when you're thinking, even the barely noticeable wrinkles you have in your forehead from raising your eyebrows all the time. he was falling helplessly in love with every bit of you.

you did that same to him. admiring the itty bitty bump on the bridge of his nose right above the perfect little button tip, the curls in his hair, the way he puckered up a little as he talked, the way his whole face would crinkle up when he laughed really hard, his eyes squinting so hard they were barely visible. you were falling helplessly in love with every bit of him.

the team had OBVIOUSLY picked up on this, and though they would tease the both of you in private, they didn't dare embarrass you in front of each other. they weren't that sadistic. or so you thought.

one evening at rossis the team decided to have a powerpoint night. everyone chose a funny topic to make a power point and present about.

jj went first, presenting the slideshow titled "ways my clashing aesthetics present themselves through my sons"

next went morgan: "reasons i should be allowed to not wear a shirt under my bullet proof vest".

followed by Rossi who did "list of the fakest Italians weve ever encountered (they cant even pronounce gnocchi)"

after him was prentiss with "things i did while pretending to be dead"

and then hotch who made "ranking the bau from most to least childish"

then you went with "animals i think all of you resemble"

followed by reid who did "top 5 worst hospitals based on jello rating"

and last but not least, garcia. she went with "agents i think should just get married already we are literally not getting any younger"

you all laughed until the slide moved and there was a picture of Spencer and you, asleep on each other on the jet. his arm was wrapped around you protectively as you were cuddled up to his chest. you looked over at spencer who was matching your bright red face.

"y/n and spencer." garcia spoke before clicking to the next slide.

"wow she just cut right to the chase huh," prentiss laughed.

more images that the team had sneakily taken of the two of you riddled the screen.

one of you braiding his hair. one of him wiping frosting on your face from your birthday. on of the two of you mid laugh, mirroring each other exactly. a few more of you two on the jet, on cases, or even out at bars or at rossis with the rest of the team. so many of them and as much as you were embarrassed, you really loved all of those pictures.

"i really dont think i need to explain much, these speak for themselves," garcia chirped.

"i like that one," reid spoke up, pointing to the braiding one. ok so were going about that like this.

"i was just about to say that, but this ones also a close contender," you replied pointing to the frosting one.

"and that my friends, concludes my slide show!" garcia laughed.

"wait seriously? just us?" you laughed.

"yea.." she started, a giddy smile decorating her face. you looked over at Spencer and tapped your nose twice. he did it back but three times, cracking a cheesy grin. "see! and they have their little secret nose code thing! is that not relationship material?"

"you guys noticed?" spencer asked, clearly oblivious.

"duh." rossi joked.

[expfcultragreen]

The little hollow boy. "Is this all life is," he asked himself when he grew up. "This was all i was working for? I'd rather be dead and famous... this world is too ugly and unexciting to bother with, its murder time...always wanted to do that whole cop car killing spree thing ive daydreamed about countless times for a needed rush while stuck-in-traffic--guess there's nothing to stop me since nothing will ever get better. its been like this 50 years and i was bored and pissed off the whole time and now the world is in crisis and thats scary so, i wanna die now, being scary just like a cascading series of cataclysmic events poised to disrupt my whole lifestyle within the next couple years. Being scary means youre not scared. Everyone knows that. This is a good idea."

[Looking out for the underdog gives you an opportunity for stimulation, maybe even a fight. It doesnt mean youve necessarily made a morally intelligent choice to protect others. Often people who look for a fight are easy to convince 'this person is an underdog in need of defending' because the veneer of a 'just cause' takes the attention off the violence itself and the motivation which was doing violence. so people who like starting fights but not fighting, often go around acting like underdogs and trying to solicit champion defenders (defenders such as leos, virgos, and other jackasses. Sometimes, cryptosociopaths masking their basic antisocial tendencies and ...areas of interest). I accidentally dated one of these "underdogs" years ago, terrifying person. Im lucky none of the times i confronted someone on-demand ended badly for me, but they defo got other people thrown out of places or roughed up by demanding satisfaction for their honor via the white knights around them. And anyone who wouldnt white knight for this jerkass, at constant personal (sometimes mortal) risk, was "a sociopath" who "had no empathy and couldnt check their privilege"* but actually--in fact--the only people who would ever have wanted to constantly be fighting strangers over percieved slights against a superparanoid trauma-masking compulsive liar, were more sociopathic than the people who wouldn't do it. But would attack them like the opposite was true because the narrative appealed to their taste for harassing others "with cause". Real twisted setup actually.][the strange conjunction of some of the worst stereotypes of the dirtbag left and of the crybaby left, is that i have dated them. And they were equally homicidal and equally suicidal; significantly both, mainly due to existential isolation and boredom. Pigs in crates. Speaking of which they both wanted to die by cop (like, casually wanted, most days), and frequently antagonized cops lowkey hoping to get shot because it'd be an easy-ish suicide thatd fuck a couple cops' weeks up a bit, maybe. Its too bad those two never dated, in a way.]

*i hear you say "uh huh, hoist by your own petardedness, assface, or, did you not notice how youre capitalizing on this tragedy less than 24 hours later to congratulate yourself on not being surprised because its the same shit you always talk about? Which means, that person you dated and went on a tonedeaf tangent about? was sooooo clearly right about you. Wow the lack of self awareness." And my response is, as ever, which of us is more objectionable again? Me the anonymous nobody complaining about objectively bad macrothings, or, you, the vulturelike spectator hunting for flaws to spooge to so you feel less small than the singular nobody who has the flaws? I just dont feel like its the nobody. Me the anonymous nobody who spends the majority of their life trying to decode this type of event in order to prevent its reoccurrence /escalation in incidences during crises, and who is categorically inconvenient to and so, unheard by, the people who get on stage in order to perform humanity harder than i do (and get paid to do it) while willfully ignoring what having humanity would mean for them, the people nominally in charge of the policies that produce these situations (it'd mean risking reprisal from violent people, in order to critique empire's programming of violent people. It'd mean stuff like, mandating the teaching of currentday colonial history and modern reproductive biology & crossculturally-comparative gender theory in schools, even if all your glandhanded nazigroup-funding businessclass backers have to let some steam out of their shirtcollars about it because a changed world isnt the same world these elites were groomed from birth to rule. Could be too much 'not the same' to hold onto what matters to them--personal power at the expense of others' lives...i mean, how are you supposed to keep doing stuff like forcibly settling and resource-controlling massive areas of first nations territory and shooting the opposition.....if everyone on the enforcement-class side of the culture gap suddenly just isnt taught to enforce white supremacy and isnt taught to avoid all sex but the kind that might result in colonist babyboots on the ground, but instead learns about how to not have baby colonists by accident, or learns about the actual real laws that uphold indigenous rights [despite how the rcmp et al and canadian government talk/act publicly]? or is taught that all racialized people arent inherently inferior or "more ~primitive~" culturally/physically by virtue of having been successfully brutalized with unmatchable violence by more warlike people, and aren't defacto criminals to the bone now by virtue of having been disempowered by more warlike people? Ps you'd have to build in "criticism-critical" sections each day to give kids the conceptual-ease/foundation of concept-grasp necessary to encounter known badfaith arguments/argument tactics and put up a defensive array of prefabricated thinkarounds for bs denialism, in order to avoid some of the cases of kids going home and halfexplaining the classwork and being told "these people are (((liberal))) brainwashing agents trying to confuse you about reality, kid; just dont listen to anything but how to do math and how to spell words. And we didnt enslave this continent like biblical romans, we...freed it...from...savages. who btw also needed freeing. From eachother and, not having guns or bankloans or smallpox; intertribal warfare, horrible thing. Yessir they were all begging for white help and signing treaties with the colonies in a perspectiveless scramble to get the most powerful support and backstab eachother's so-called nations, i tells ya, its in the old history texts, the ones that werent lying")