#i don't want you to think that like big big big /nm here

[house-of-vandernacht]

To everyone freaking out over NM S2 premiering a wee bit later than expected. The amount of time/effort R&F put into this is colossal. They constantly and consistently pull 60-70 hour weeks. Week after week with no break, upwards of a year and longer, to the point they flirt with burnout like Leo/nore flirts with Annabel. That to me is the exact opposite of lazy. Over the last year, I and others have witnessed this mind-blowing work ethic first hand. Its insane the amount of work they put in. Often eps are well over the minimum panel amount, they don't have to do 10-20 panels more than the minimum, but they do it as they want to tell a good story with each episode ending where it feels natural. The next thing: Nobody is entitled to any creator's time, or gets to dictate how they spend their personal time off. A hiatus is merely an opportunity to create buffer. R&F are under no obligation to use it that way. It is their choice to. It is also a time for them to regroup, recover from fatigue -- as any artist or writer knows headspace is important to the creative process -- attend to the shop, catch up on any admin that needs doing, and a litany of other things that people need to do to go about their daily lives. This break -- because lets call it what it is, if this were a normal 8-6 we'd call it UPTO -- is for them to take time to themselves, same as any other job. If they want to play Star Dew Valley to relax or decompress or ruminate on an idea, who the heck are we to deny them that? They're two human beings, not machines.

Thirdly: Please consider: There is so much more that goes on behind the scenes of a comic of this calibre that we as readers don't see. (Think of an iceberg, how they are so much bigger than the tip that pokes above the ocean's surface.) R&F don't just make it up on the spot. There's script writing, planning, research, editing, more planning, rough storyboarding, more research, tests, and probably a heck of a lot more pre-production stuff than I can even guess at before sketching can even be considered commencing. We don't know their creative process, nor are we entitled to demand an explanation of their process, or that they use their personal time differently. (Personally, I listen to music and walk but what is one person's jam, might not be another's.) Nevermore S2 premiering a little later than expected is not some big drama its being made out to be. Its perfectly normal. I cant count the amount of times I've heard some comic/ book/tv series/movie has been delayed for whatever reason. (I've been waiting seven years for one book I won't mention here, as an example.) I don't know about you, but I know Id much prefer to read something that has been well thought out, with attention to fine detail applied to it than something rushed and shoddy. Give them grace to cook! I know we might be a wee bit disappointed, especially when we're so eager to find out what potential horrors might befall characters we've grown to know and love on the eve of one heck of a tantalising cliff hanger, but I ask that you all show a little patience and, more importantly, understanding.

[citrusbugz]

Idk how to say this without sounding weird and seeming like I'm defending whitewashing bc there's people speaking up about it in the dndads fandom again (100% a problem, their concerns are very real) but heyyy, Latino does not come with predisposed physical attributes, because it's not simply a race thing?

Like, I get it, I don't dig white ass straight hair Garcias or Swallows as much as the next guy, it's lacking and I don't think it lines up with their characters, but pleeeease don't come here and act like white latinos don't not exist or are a bad thing?? Latin America was touched by the hands of white European colonialism and settlelers all over. The white people didn't boil into thin air, their generations went to also become Latinos and got integrated in the community.

It's just... Weird. It's weird to pretend they just don't exist or are an invalid form of representation of Latinos. NOW, if we want to talk about some of the white beauty Standarts held in the Latino community, sexualixation and demonification of the poc and how some people do use escape goat of white latinos to get away with whitewashing even the culture of the characters? That's a different, nuanced conversation that's worth having.

Just, remember that "Latino" is too vague of a discriptor to assume someone's race, it just means from Latin America, which is half of the entire continent of America with a ton of countries with different backgrounds. Saying a character is Latino or Hispanic doesn't really mean shit for physical description. I'm sorry.

But, with that, it's also ammo that you have a very big range of ways a character can look and still totally be Latino since it's very broad.

Take this all as a /nm vaguely informational post. Seeing plp use the word Latino like that gives me the ick because it's really meaningless. Idk, be more indeph or speculative if anything (like, Mercedes is probably Ecuadorian considering she has family there). I'll go back to being funny and doing art now, my bad for entering this discussion.

[mono-dot-jpeg]

a child and their 9ft pet - astral express crew

summary; the adventures of a 7 year old and their large mythical beast called ossy.

genre/extra tags; bullet fic/headcanons, anxious! reader, reader is connected to most animals (but mostly their companion), reader is from the luofu, i made reader a bit know it all sassy but it's okay it's only for a little bit, reader is a smart baby

[platonic] [7 year old! reader] [gender neutral! reader]

[buy me a kofi to support!]

a/n; this is the most steven universe shit i've seen /j /nm, that's what popped into my mind upon reading this ask. nothing wrong with it. just pointing it out KSDJKSJ also this is based off lion dog from chinese mythology which is what i assume you were describing from the shih tzu and also im rather familiar with the lion dog myself as someone who used to visit temples with my family (love those statues). anyways, hope you enjoy, you didn't really specify what type of work you wanted, so i did bullet fic/hcs

the crew met you when you were trying to avoid them

you're not really normal in the luofu, you were not really an anomaly but you weren't a normal kid either.

the general knew of you due to your larger than life pet.

well... it was more of a beast of mythic lore turned real but who's arguing about definitions here?

even if your pet was in a smaller form, they were still pretty big. about 4ft. maybe twice your height almost

but jingyuan let you have your pet as long as you weren't making trouble

anyways, back to the actual subject at hand.

the astral crew needed to find you since you were supposedly the young scholar of the luofu who seemed to know everything and loved learning about everything

you were almost a historian some would even say

but you didn't really like the idea of being a historian

you just like learning about everything

but you weren't the best around people

so when you met the crew .. .

you jumped right into your pet's fur, disappearing without a trace

"HUH?!"

"how did they disappear like that?"

"did they just jump into that animal's fur?"

march tries to reach out, but the dog barks angrily and backs up

"okay okay! sorry.. puppy?"

"they're not a puppy!" your voice erupts from the soft fur of the dog (?) your head pops up startling the express crew, "they're a lion! get it right!" you scolded them.

"but they don't look like a lion."

"and you don't look like a local, so what's it to you!?" you huffed. "you don't know everything about the luofu!"

"that's why we're here. we need to know more about the history of your home." the eldest man, welt yang, spoke gently. "general jingyuan sent us."

you sigh as you cuddle into your pet's fur, still leaving the crew to wondering how you're being contained in it. "okay. what do you want to know?" and you begrudgingly answer their questions. you eventually leave your pet's fur and they keep your feeling less anxious about the strangers who imposed on your reading time.

and that's it for now.

the crew is mildly concerned and curious about you\

they spot you around different parts of the luofu as they continue their adventure.

let's say that they even had more time to get to know you better. how you're kind of a wild card for the luofu cloud knights and how you'd rather do a plain hobby than fight.

but you're perfectly capable of doing so

well, mostly your pet.

boy were they shocked when they saw your already large ish lion change and grow into a true creature of mythology, and fought the marastruck with ease.

"no chewing! marastruck isn't good for your diet!" you had scolded after the fight was over. "put them down ossy!" despite their cowering size, they almost shrink at your words and remind the crew of a sad puppy or cat. but ossy listens to you and spits out the marastruck, letting it disintegrate into the air.

yeah.. the crew was even more curious after that.

trailblazer was the only brave enough to speak what they were all thinking. what is your pet and how did you get them?

and you told them the simple story that you gained them as a family heirloom and bonded a contract with them. you even formed other contracts with other animals but not as strong as ossy's contract.

ossy was sort of a present from your family as you came from a line of mythic beast tamers and now you're here with them

and after that, you visit the express once in a while with ossy by your side to get a break from the streets of luofu

you take up your other hobbies when you're in the express, often knitting or drawing and you make drawings and little bracelets from the crew. while your drawings and knitting works arent as amazing as your knowledge, you don't mind because it just means more to learn and improve on.

you love being with the crew now and you love ossy more than ever of course!

[monsterswithimagines]

Undisclosed Desires - Part 23

Joe Goldberg x female!reader

Summary: Twenty minutes before he would have met Guinevere Beck, Joe meets you instead. You intruige him, but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you. Words: 867

Masterlist

We already see Joe killing Ron on the show. I figured I don't have to describe it again. Besides, things are getting interesting...

DISCLAIMER: the towns and situations described in this chapter are fictionalized. There is no Nehalenia College in Koewacht. IDEK what is in Koewacht. (Koe means cow, so maybe a lot of cows??)

I have been very busy these last three days, (Y/n).

Nobody will miss Ron, but I miss you and I have been neglecting you. I feel bad. We have only texted a few times, and you say you are busy and jetlagged. But I can tell you’re just giving me an excuse to be distant, because when I text you, you respond right away.

I have been a bad boyfriend, but I think if you knew why I was so busy these last few days, you’d forgive me. I hope you would, but I can’t exactly tell you, so instead I just lounge on your bed and I text you:

ME: Hey lovely.

YOU: hey!

ME: What are you up to?

YOU: well it’s 8 pm

YOU: so nm

YOU: watching this dutch talk show w my grandpa

YOU: hes annoyed im on my phone lol

ME: Go watch the show, (Y/n). I don’t want to piss off your grandfather before I even get there.

YOU: yessir! love u

ME: I love you, too.

I am so tired. I was hoping we could call for a little bit, but if you're at your grandparents’ house, I don't want to push it. Instead I take a shower in your bathroom and use your soap so I smell like you. Then, in my own, clean clothes which I keep at your place, I get on your bed and take out your laptop.

As always, your WhatsApp texts are open. I haven't checked them much since we got together - we are good together and I don't need to know everything you talk about with everyone - but there are new texts from a name I don't recognize.

And you are texting this person right now. I thought you couldn't be on your phone?

The texts are in Dutch, but they started about an hour ago and there aren't that many yet, so I take the time to translate them.

MITCH: hey hey! heard you're in NL? wanna get together?

YOU: sorry man, kinda busy

MITCH: ouch. did you just blow me off?

YOU: uhhhh kinda?

YOU: it's nothing personal

YOU: my boyfriend’s coming in 2 days

I smile.

MITCH: since when do you have a boyfriend lol

YOU: a few months now

MITCH: and i guess it’s serious?

YOU: pretty serious

MITCH: wtf

YOU: ?

MITCH: i kinda thought we had a thing, you know?

YOU: mitch…

YOU: you gotta get over this

MITCH: and what is it you think i have to ‘get over’?

YOU: you know what

That last message, you sent while I was reading the other ones, and I have to translate it separately. Apparently Mitch does know what, because he doesn’t respond anymore. But I don’t know what, and I really wish you would specify.

You send a message to Nadia:

YOU: guess who just texted me…

NADIA: Who?

YOU: mitch

NADIA: Ew. Block him.

Thank you, Nadia!

YOU: i can’t just block him 😭 you know what happens when i block him

NADIA: You want to stay at my place tonight?

YOU: could i? i don’t wanna tell my grandparents about this…

NADIA: Hey, at least Joe will be here soon! Then you won’t be all alone in your big scary AirBNB.

YOU: lol

YOU: i can’t wait tho

YOU: 😁😊

I frown. Normally I’d be happy that you can’t wait for me to get there, but right now I just want to know who this Mitch guy is.

He is not on your Twitter and he is not on Nadia’s Instagram. All I have are his texts to you and looking for his number on Google does absolutely nothing.

But when I look up your high school, along with Mitch’s name and yours, I finally find something interesting: two news articles with your names in them.

I Google your name again. There’s your high school picture. You went to Het Nehalennia College but when I try to translate the rest of the text again, I still can’t make sense of it - it must be full of spelling errors, because some words just will not make sense.

I try to look Mitch up, using all sorts of combinations. Your school and his name, his name and yours... Nothing.

From: Omroep Zeeland, June 21st, 2017

KOEWACHT - YESTERDAY AT 3:00 in the afternoon, high school student at Nehalennia College, Mitch Wegganger, was arrested on suspicion of stalking and attempted assault against his classmate, (Y/n) (Y/l/n). The stalking allegedly started after (Y/l/n) stood up for Wegganger against a classmate in March. (Y/l/n) did not return our requests for comment.

From: Omroep Zeeland, June 23rd, 2017

KOEWACHT - HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT Mitch Wegganger - who was arrested early this week on suspicion of stalking his classmate (Y/n) (Y/l/n) - was released this morning after (Y/l/n) withdrew her report. Wegganger: “This is all a huge misunderstanding. I didn't stand outside (Y/n)'s house and hurt her. I just wanted to talk to her.”

(Y/l/n) is still unavailable for comment.

I can’t believe this.

You, (Y/n), have a stalker.

And you didn’t tell me about him.

[andreal831]

Do you think it would have worked with Antoinette in non-memory loss circumstances

Short answer is no, I don't.

I've seen people say they were "good" together because they are similar but we do not know enough about Antoinette to know this. They are similar in how they dress and both play piano but that is not enough to create a relationship.

Elijah and Antoinette had met when he was his whole self with memories and he did not pursue her. There did seem to be chemistry between them but Elijah Mikaelson is a very different person than the Elijah who fell in love with Antoinette. And even in this relationship, we see very little of Antoinette as a character on her own. I do think they have some sweet moments, but there were also a lot of moments where Antoinette felt less like a character and more like a plot device.

She and Elijah had been together for seven years but he seemed to know nothing about her. Elijah is learning everything as we are, mostly for the audience to understand her back story, but still, Elijah should have already known all about her family drama.

But here's what we do know about her:

Antoinette says she loves her brother but doesn't lift a finger to help him. Elijah burns himself alive and she rushes out of the room instead of trying to help support him emotionally. She has been lying to him the entire relationship about knowing him and who he was. All of these things, to me, are things Elijah wouldn't like in a person.

Whether it is healthy or not, the most important thing to Elijah is putting his family first. Antoinette doesn't understand this. In season 5, she wants him far away from them. Sure, this may be healthier for him, but he wouldn't stay with someone who wants that. Antoinette may be healthier in detaching from her toxic family, but Elijah wouldn't respect that in her. Instead of trying to help her brother, she has abandoned him.

Antoinette also seems to not like confrontation. She runs instead of facing Greta or Greta's army. She runs instead of helping Elijah emotionally. She wants to run from Klaus. They try to create a parallel of her running from an abusive father, but Elijah only runs to save his siblings. In fact, he stands to confront Mikael when his family needs him too. The Mikaelson family is always about confrontation. Yes, they are always running, but Elijah's relationship wouldn't survive with someone who couldn't handle the family confrontations. He would want to protect her and likely end the relationship because he would see how unhappy she was with his family. Elijah tends to be attracted to very combative women because that is what he knows of love, that's how his family has always been.

A lot of people say that Elijah with no memories is still Elijah, so by that logic, Elijah Mikaelson would still feel the same way about Antoinette that no memory Elijah did. But I vehemently disagree. Elijah Mikaelson would never have done the things no memory Elijah did. Sure he seemed happier and more free, but even Elijah before all of the trauma wouldn't have behaved like him. And I think a big part of how no memory Elijah turned out is due to Antoinette's influence. She was essentially able to shape him into what she wanted him to be since he had no memories or connections with anyone. It always just felt very manipulative to me. Even after a seven-year relationship, nearly as soon as Elijah gets his memories back, he ends it with her. Yes, he is grieving Hayley, but he was not willing to try and fight for Antoinette or even stay alive for her.

More evidence that NM Elijah was not Elijah Mikaelson is that when Hayley goes to France, Elijah clearly approaches Hayley (Andrea) at a bar and spends the night flirting and dancing with her. This is years into his relationship with Antoinette. Elijah would never have done this to any of his past relationships. While I love the haylijah moments, I didn't like that Elijah was essentially emotionally cheating on his girlfriend, something Elijah Mikaelson would never do. Antoinette and Elijah are actually one of my least favorite Elijah ships because I don't like how either of them treated the other.

Antoinette and Elijah felt very forced. Again, I loved seeing happy and free Elijah, but I would much rather see it due to character development and growth, not erasing everything that he is. And everything that Elijah Mikaelson is would not be compatible with Antoinette.

[pico-digital-studios]

Into, Across and Beyond! Scripting: Grand Reunion

In Cosmic Discoveries, after SS!Amy got OMT!Tails cured of the Chimera Virus, they were walking through one of the tranquil areas with OMT!Cream following.

OMT!Tails: This place really is something. With LM off my back for now, I have plenty more time to take it all in again.

SS!Amy: Well, our efforts definitely helped in stopping one of those so-called "canon events" from happening. You've already been through a lot as is, and we couldn't risk you getting worse from it.

OMT!Tails: So, how have you found it here so far, Cream?

OMT!Cream: It's been amazing! I never knew how many other iterations of me and our friends were in the multiverse. I already made friends with multiple mes!

OMT!Tails: You'd be more and more surprised every day, of course!

SS!Amy: What's the bond between you and your Cream like, Tails?

OMT!Tails: Well, compared to the intended norm, me and Cream are actually siblings. I took her in after her mom lost her life to OMT, and we had been living with my Knuckles and Amy.

SS!Amy: I'm really happy to see that you guys have a universe that strays away from all the norms, Tails.

OMT!Tails: Hehe! Thanks, Amy!

They continued along the area to where Skye and Melody were.

Melody: Sure kept us waiting, alternate dad.

OMT!Tails: Heh, sorry, Melody.

Skye: The others are just up ahead from here! We'll follow behind.

They headed forward.

OMT!Tails: Hey, guys!

OMT!Mina: Tails!

The two shared a hug together.

OMT!Mina: I'm so sorry about before, Tails. I understand if you-.

OMT!Tails: Hey, don't worry. It's okay.

D-Sides Mighty: Welcome back, bud!

Mini Sonic: Great work, Tails!

Mr. NM passed him a cheeseburger.

Mr. NM: Here, kid! Just as promised!

OMT!Tails: Sweet!

Nitro: We just met the kids you brought over, by the way.

OMT!Tails: Yeah. I met them on my way back.

Antho: So I heard you met my Tails earlier. What got you two on the move?

Melody: Well, we got forced out of our universe and can't get back in. We were stranded until this Tails found us.

Skye: Yeah, that's right...

Blitz!Tails: As it happens, me and mini-me were the first to come across the little guy on our travels, and he stuck with me whilst Mr. Red-Eyes was chasing Tails around different universes.

Melody: And he found me and rescued me from that Eggman lair full of robot doppelgangers!

OMT!Tails: Believe it or not, I ended up coming across the PRIME universe along the way!

The group were surprised and amazed.

Antho: You met the ORIGINAL Sonic?! Ex-Prince Brian: That's awesome!

CR!Sonic: Guess that's one more thing you can tick off your bucket list, kid!

OMT!Tails: Hehe, thanks!

BK!Amy took the opportunity to try and hustle OMT!Tails and OMT!Mina close to each other for a kiss.

BK!Amy: This could be a big opportunity, guys~!

OMT!Mina (embarrassed): Aww, come on, Amy! We don't need this right now!

OMT!Tails: Well, I mean, we could do the moment elsewhere later, if you want.

OMT!Mina: I'll, er, think about it.

BK!Amy: Heh, sorry.

In a hidden corner, Pana watched this interaction from a distance, quietly sniggering with a smile from the fact that his allies were still getting on great.

SS!Amy: So, while we're taking a breather, you mind us having a chat, Tails?

OMT!Tails: Not at all.

The two headed off while OMT!Cream stuck with the Blur Gang and their allies. They came to a stop at another point of the sector as Nine watched with a soft smile.

SS!Amy: So, were you able to make up your mind about the whole Quill Society thing? There's still no pressure, of course. It's up to you.

OMT!Tails: Yeah. Well, I had been thinking about it a lot. I mean, it's a really amazing community space, though there is still my world to help protect and my friends to be around, so I can't imagine it being full-time.

SS!Amy: Heh, it doesn't have to be full-time, Tails. I mean, you saw everyone here from the Blur Gang yesterday, and it was in the aftermath of a school day, too!

OMT!Tails: Heh, you're right. A part-time rotation would be great for me, of course, so long as it's alright with Knuckles, Amy and my main teacher, of course.

SS!Amy: I'm sure they'd be really supportive of you taking that first step forward to stringing out further yourself.

OMT!Tails: Well, I mean, I could never have gotten this far without the support of people like you, and I couldn't be more grateful. If I do get a part-time rotation and it's on Friday to Sunday, I'm definitely gonna aim to work alongside guys like you and Pana more!

SS!Amy: Hehe, sweet!

OMT!Tails: Hey... I just wanted to say... thanks for sticking by my side through all of this, Amy. I know it's been really tough having to move out of the universe you once knew, but your caring nature has never once been broken.

SS!Amy: You're welcome. Anything to help out a buddy!

They smiled to one another.

Nine: How's the conversation coming along?

SS!Amy squeaked in surprise, blushing bright-red in embarrassment.

OMT!Tails: Oh! Hey, Nine! I didn't realise you followed us.

Nine: Heh, yeah. I've got you to thank as well, Tails. You coming into my life changed it for the better in SO many ways. For the first time, I could make amends with those I had hurt, and that whole multiverse conundrum meant I could finally co-exist with you guys. I mean, seeing this whole Quill Society made me see that, no matter what dimension, anyone can string out from being a wingman and be their own boss.

OMT!Tails: I'm glad to have helped, Nine. You've been an amazing friend throughout our journeys together.

Nine: And you've been just as amazing, if not more so!

The three shared a laugh between each other.

Nine: Well, EV said he prepared your dorm room. Why don't we go and take a look?

OMT!Cream: Oh! Wait up!

OMT!Cream arrived, with a familiar Chao with her.

OMT!Tails: Heh! You got your own Chao companion!

OMT!Cream: Yeah! After seeing all my other counterparts, I decided to name him Cheese in their honour!

OMT!Cheese: Chao chao~!

OMT!Tails: Aww! He looks so cute!

Nine: Heh! Well, let's go, you guys!

They headed off. Over with Blitz!Milla and Skye, meanwhile, they were tending to some flowers in the Chao Garden together.

Skye: So, what's gonna happen if our dimension's... you know?

Blitz!Milla: Well, I really don't want to leave either you or Melody orphaned, Skye, so if you'd like, you two can stay at our dimension under our care!

Skye: You'd... actually take us in? Like second parents?

Blitz!Milla: Of course! You both deserve a happy life to grow in.

Skye: Heh, thanks, Miss Milla.

He gently hugged her as she smiled. As he did so, Smol Devy came from behind and hugged Skye too.

Smol Devy: New fwiend!

Skye: Hehe, aww!

Blitz!Milla: Hehe! You and Devy are welcome at my dimension whenever, too!

Smol Devy: Gweat! ^v^

Meanwhile, with Blitz!Tails and EV!Sonic...

EV!Sonic: So, what was LM's state last you saw him chasing after Tails?

Blitz!Tails: He really didn't look stable whatsoever. I mean, he was still the big grouch the Society now knows him as, but... he seemed more insane when I knocked him into Dimension NEX-2023's further bounds. As if he really isn't being him anymore.

MV!Tails: No kidding. What could've happened aside from yesterday and the lost dimension to set off his decline into villainy?

EV!Sonic: This is concerning. Once you get the chance, I recommend investigating his dimension with the Blur Gang to figure out what's amiss.

Blitz!Tails: I'll do my best out there.

EV!Sonic: I'm sure you will, buddy!

MV!Tails: I'll go with 'em. If he's planning something especially nasty, I'm gonna make good on my promise from before.

EV!Sonic: Yeah, good call.

Blitz!Tails: Alright. Let's go!

The two Tails's headed off, whilst EV!Sonic checked the dorm review ratings.

EV!Sonic: Heh, Tails scored his 5 stars. Sweet!

[wishing-stones]

Hihihi i saw your reblog about calcium cat recently and... thank you for that! It was eye opening and confirmed some suspicions i had... and im sorry you dont have to post this ask if you dont want to, i just didnt know where else to go. I don't use tumblr often, very sorry if i am bothering you!

So, i used to be a big fan of calcium cat's, and when i learned from your reblog that she's not someone i want to associate myself with, i remembered that she and topazshadowwolf (someone who wrote some Dadmare and Soriel fics that I liked, i think they're well known in the community but im not sure?) were affiliated with one another, and topazshadowwolf has these two posts on their blog that arent outright queerphobic like calcium cat's posts. i wanted to see what your thoughts were on it as a second opinion because i dont want to judge them too hard, but i also got an icky feeling from these posts that i can't really explain. I dont want to cause trouble for them if they don't deserve it which is why i wanted to ask your opinion on it. And im on anon in case if it really is that bad...

https://www.tumblr.com/topazshadowwolf/738317097192603648/anon-i-am-not-going-to-reply-to-that-ask-i-dont?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/topazshadowwolf/738292724279672832/i-didnt-want-to-say-this-but-its-been-bugging?source=share

Uhmm yeah thats about it. Sorry, you probably dont get asks like this that much, i really just didnt know what to do and didnt see anyone talking about it and thought i was going crazy, i wanted to ask someone. I am a queer person myself and i just felt like these posts were really off but idk why :(((

Sorry this took a bit to get to Anon, I legitimately had no idea who this person was. Also had to grapple with the fact that I'm apparently a big enough figurehead here to ask about discourse? Willlddd to me. I'm not used to this LOL.

Discourse under the cut

The first thing that strikes me as off is the fact that Cal commented on the ask linked in the first post you provided. Don't like that. Openly associating with someone who has been outed as an immensely bigoted trans/homophobe is.... not a good look.

However, in regards to that ask, I agree with some of what they were saying. School is a time to play at discovery, because you rarely remain who you were as a child. It's not a definitive thing. You can be adamant that you're one way in school, and once you leave it an broaden your horizons, you discover that you're another way. This ranges anything from sexualities, gender expression, to religion and belief systems. People grow and change.

As an aside, I don't agree that NM wouldn't support them if they claimed to be different from how they are as adults and wouldn't support them. No context given, but I assume the boys don't remember being adults. This means their growing experiences will be fundamentally different than they were as former adults because they are going through their childhood/adolescence in a wildly different way than they did underground. So constricting them to such a narrow scope seems... disingenuous at best.

Seems a might bit narrow-minded, but I wouldn't go screaming "transphobia" yet. Don't like the "if you feel like I disrespected you, leave" though. The correct response is to ask what you did that made someone feel that way.

Worthy of a side-eye, but unless someone presents solid proof (as with Cal's very damning twitter likes, yuck), bad vibes shouldn't be enough to try to cancel someone. I try to give the benefit of the doubt. I sincerely hope my general faith here is not misplaced.

[kyistell]

May I humbly request hc’s for the gay traumatized cowboy with daddy issues (texas)?👁️👁️

Oooooo yess, Texas was a fun one to think about because I had to think like a southerner slightly, and I live in Jersey lol (granted Jersey gets pretty southern if you go too far but I don't live there)

Texas-

Used to hunt a lot, however with the Table becoming slightly more important in the 2020s he had to slow it down significantly

Has a massive ranch, horses, cattle, chickens, you name it, Texas probably has it

Would actually kill someone (but specifically Cali) if they took his hat, there is no way he is letting Austin be in control for that long

His wires are slightly crossed, hence Austin or literally any of his cities (though honestly the cities being personified depends on the state, Texas has researched this before and it’s not worth asking why, you won’t get an answer)

Guns lol

Will occasionally just cough up oil, it’s not common but it is annoying

He’s not gay, at all, what so ever, he’s just a very straight cowboy livin his life (guess the lie here, hint: he is for sure livin his life and is a cowboy)

He doesn’t hate Oklahomo, he just wishes the absolute best for him and the absolute best is dying

Loves cooking as much as he does hunting, which is a lot, he’ll do it whenever he wants, for basically no reason, it’s a fun hobby for him

Has dinner every other Sunday with Mexico and other Spanish speaking countries, Cali, Arizona, and NM will also join from time to time

He likes history a lot more than people realize, he has to be good at it to say that it’s all fake duh

Hates snow, never wants it ever again, the one time he got snow he doesn’t remember BECAUSE HE BASICALLY DIED MAINE (he’s only slightly dramatic, he didn’t die but it sure did feel like it)

Made Jersey teach him how to make “proper pizza” since he taught him how to make a brisket

He’s tall, like 6’3 tall, he could technically go taller but 6’3 doesn’t make him feel like he’s stretching his skin

If he’s exhausted then he won’t understand a lick of English, he doesn’t get that tired often but when he does it’s turned into a game to see who can get him to bed first (It’s normally Alabama or Oklahomo- I mean homa, Oklahoma)

Went back to high school in the 2000s, an experience he doesn’t know if he regrets or wants to study under a microscope

Has three dogs, they are his babies along with his horses, he fought long and hard to convince Gov to let him have them at the StateHouse even with the no pets rule that like 3 people didn’t follow at the time

Loves Football, obviously, Sunday Football is spent outside with barbeque and the entire south, even if their team isn’t playing

Doesn’t actually hate Cali, he thinks that he’s an idiot and never knows when to shut up but he can admire how smart he actually is even if Texas would never say it out loud, and Austin, Austin was a big reason

[prxship]

I'm sorry abt the rude stuff paraphiles have been sending you. We paras don't want those weirdos who harass others either. 😭 I"ve only read like two posts of yours really (no energy to do read more than that srry! /gen) but I'm assuming you're pro para as long as they're anti contact and getting therapy?

As a para, I don't disagree and I think ur valid for that.

Paras probs have fears about therapists cause we're scared we'll get harassed or mistreated for our attractions, which is why so many are anti therapy /info

Also, ppl can be really sensitive to being told they need therapy cause usually people say that to imply someone is crazy (from my and many friends experiences) /Nm /info

So basically ur not invalid at all, but people with paras can be very sensitive due to the mistreatment of us non contact ones

Btw, when we paras make flags and stuff, it's just our attempts at reclaiming something frequently used to hurt us ^_^ /info /nm

YES! a lot of people seem to think we are anti para but we’re not. i didn’t think it was that hot of a take to say those who have the urge to take advantage of parties that can’t consent should get therapy but. here we are.

I can definitely understand the fear of therapy, especially with how stigmatized a lot of disorders are, speaking as a DID system. However, i don’t think that stigmatization and fighting it means radical acceptance. recovery SHOULD be encouraged. you don’t have to just accept everyone no matter what to build a community yall.

i’ve never been a fan of disorder pride flags or para pride flags tbh, but esp not para pride flags for the “big three”. i don’t think ppl with paras should be miserable and hide away but jfc it canNOT be healthy for people to make pride flags for having the urge to diddle kids.

[roetrolls]

i think you should make a rule in your server to comment on other peoples art before posting your own, some people are feeling left out and overlooked and other servers have implemented similar rules to prevent that! /nm

I have a couple things to say about this and they're probably not the response you wanted, but I hope you can understand where I'm coming from.

First and foremost, I'm really not comfortable with people using my inbox over here to make server suggestions on anon. I understand the inclination to do it, but it forces me to have the conversation publicly, which I don't find particularly fair or appropriate.

Having to speak to you on anon puts me in an uncomfortable position where we are now conversing in front of an audience, many of whom have not even joined the server themselves. It also just... hurts my feelings a little, I won't lie. I'm sure it's not your intention, but it leaves me feeling like people don't trust my ability to have a normal conversation with them. I know it's likely not about me, but the impact is still there.

Second, regarding the actual suggestion itself: This server is a glorified group chat. Rules are lax because I trust people to be adults and treat each other with common courtesy. I am not going to implement rules to enforce social etiquette. I trust that the people around me can advocate for themselves if they have a problem with something.

I've been a mod in a big community before and it's exhausting. When you are the person responsible for enforcing rules, it becomes more difficult to engage with people in a normal capacity. I do not want to create a power dynamic in the space where I speak to my friends, and I do not want to have to come up with well-defined rules and consequences for breaking them; because you DO need to come up with consequences if you want something to be a rule.

All of this would turn this chill place for chatting into a responsibility, and it would make me miserable.

I agree, it can be rude to post over someone without acknowledging what they've shared. But I also know some people don't really mind. If it bothers you, you can ask that people be careful not to do it to you. I'll back you up on that and try to make sure people remember. However, I have a vested interest in this server not being as structured as other ones, because disliking that sort of structure is why I made my own to begin with.

[pancake-breakfast]

Trigun Book Club! (I'm glad some of you are enjoying reading the nonsense I've been writing up for these things. Thank you very much!) I know some characters I'm highly anticipating are coming up, so let's get to it!

Archive

Trigun Volume 1: Covers + 1-3, 3 Detailed Thoughts, 4, 4 DT, 5-6, 5-6 + DT, 6 DT, 7-8, 9-10

Trigun Volume 2: Covers + Extras

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for Trigun Vol. 2, Chapter 1 below.

Chapter 1: Blood and Thunder

WOLFWOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!

I love how intense he looks compared to Vash, who seems to be smiling just a bit. Of course he would. He has a buddy to fight at his back.

"More than just shoes," huh? What, does he make crazy strappy leather body suits, too? Hmmmmmm???

Dramatic Vash title page pose!

Oh, shoot. I remember that fountain from '98. That's... a bad sign.

Meryl: "What a lovely day...." Me: "Not for long."

I do appreciate the pigeon floof, though. Wait, how did pigeons get here? Did they import them? Are these actually not-pigeons but are more closely related to Thomases? Are... are they a type of WORM??!??!!

Oh, Vash. He wants to rest, but he's keeping one eye open.

NM, he's decided rest is the best option.

OMG, this page! Rem with the halo imagery over her. The way her form dominates the page but blends into Vash's, as if she's a bigger part of him than he himself is. The way he seems to be falling through the panels. Gorgeous.

Aaand the moment's gone.

At least they're apologizing?

Wait, there's no water in that fountain, is there?

Goshdarnit, Vash! Don't put that in your mouth! You don't know where it's been!

Yeah, you're not gonna be able to talk while pulling off this maneuver. But I'll allow it.

Hahahaha, once they've properly apologized, he decides to reward them with ice cream. Or maybe just reward himself and reward them as a byproduct, but whatever.

VASH THE STAMPEDE!!! You, of all people, do NOT get to tell Milly (OR ANYONE ELSE) she is not acting her age! Freaking dork....

I love how calmly Meryl is like, "Here's the cash. Get us all ice cream." Although I'm only counting five??

Oh.

Meryl just won like 500 brownie points for that move.

There are few things in life that can't be made to seem at least a little better if one has ice cream.

Vash looks deeply saddened that the girl left.

But it seems like he's moved on pretty fast. No point dwelling on it, right?

Shit. Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit.

Gods, I'm sure people have debated his designs in both '98 and Stampede, but here? Legato looks like a twink. A twink hiding in a big emo jacket with shoulder pads he stole from the '80s and then fed steroids.

Annnnd he's eating a hot dog. I'm not gonna read too much into that. Too late. And now you can, too.

Seriously, though. Of all the foods to import, you'd think someone would leave hot dogs behind. Or not. They do make use of the junk parts of the animal, and I guess you can't be too picky when you live in a desert wasteland.

The way they're having this conversation is suspicious.

Fountain confirmed empty.

Milly's danger sense is tingling.

I just want to point out that, when Milly says Vash's face looks frightening, this is the last expression we see him showing.

He's putting on the glasses. It's serious time. He might have to shoot someone, and he definitely doesn't want anyone else to catch a glimpse of his intentions here.

Wow. The level of force Vash shows in his wording here. It's like he's playing a card that says, "I know I'm superior to you, and given the situation, I'm going to make dead sure you know it, too."

"That monster," huh? Harsh words. Justified, perhaps. But harsh. All of this is harsh coming from such a staunch pacifist.

I just want to point out that all of this is happening after the July incident. For no reason whatsoever, I'm sure.

Legato... PLEASE don't make shitty decisions with your life. What you're suggesting is not the sort of thing likely to end in a win scenario for you....

Ok, so I'm sure some of this is because I've watched '98 and have a better feel for Legato than some... but I LOVE the imagery of him handing food to a hungry child and giving them a pat on the head. It's wrong on so many levels... but it's also a good reminder that people who are capable of absolutely terrible things are also capable of at least presenting a veneer of simple kindness.

Glad that scene upset Vash quite a bit, too.

Assuming Legato isn't bluffing, even Vash would struggle to contain that much slaughter in such a short span of time, I think. And right now, he's got a whole fountain in between him and Legato.

Vash has been gradually losing his mask through this whole conversation. Milly noticed it first, but the kids and Meryl have noticed it by now, too.

This outfit needs more straps.

Yyyyeeeaaaahhhh, if they fight in the busy town square there, the casualty number is gonna be stupid high.

WTF, he gave Vash a quest?? I don't like this quest. This quest is gonna be full of Bad Things.

I LOVE how they're all in silhouette behind Legato there, but with all their forms blended together to make this ominous amorphous blob of eyes and limbs and darkness. I want a clean version without the text balloons.

Sir. Sir, your bag is leaking. Sir, you might want to take a look at that. Sir.

Ok, now I have legitimate questions about the Shoemaker instead of bullshit ones.

I, too, would panic if someone I knew suddenly literally lost their head. Not sure I'd go screaming into the town square, but I would definitely be out of sorts.

Nightow didn't even have to show us what was in the bag to make his point.

Dude, that's an American coin. Hang on a second.... Ok, found it. I'm just gonna put some information on it here if anyone wants to go through it.

I'm pretty sure I recognize that silhouette...

Thinking on the title of the chapter again. Thunder is often seen as the first sign of an oncoming storm. Fitting.

I wanted to go through more than one chapter, but I feel like I have a LOT of notes on this one, and those pop-out posts inevitably take a good chunk of time, so this will do for tonight.

[artemismoorea03]

I heard you were continuing MAA on ao3 and was shocked! It's been so long that I honestly need a refresher. I wanna re read it, but there's sm going on in life and not exactly mentally ok and so I'm lowkey scared to re read 😭

Also where do you get your inspection? And why do you put the lmk crew through sm 🍇 and SA 😭 /genq/nm/nf

But yeah

I LOOOOOOVE your work

It was a surprise to hear the series is STILL going after like 2 years /pos

Yep! MAA is going strong again, though it may be on another hiatus soon due to the fact that my spouse and I are going to be moving here very soon! Honestly, I would suggest reading it again if/when your mental health is better because it is heavy but some edits have been made on previous parts and some other parts - specifically Kids Aren't Alright - has been deleted to help the canon of MAA flow better. Some parts of that will come back but for the most part we're going in with a clean slate.

As for the inspiration behind MAA and the stuff that's all complicated but to sum it up a lot of it was inspired by personal experiences. I'm not entirely comfortable going more into detail than that on the inspiration for those certain situations but other inspirations also included; animes, books, cartoons, my friends, and just ideas that I thought would help the story flow better! Which is a lot more fun than the other stuff.

Now, onto the big and heavier aspect of your question the SA and other dark topics. As my spouse put it I am a "Gray Writer". I do not shy away form the dark topics but I also don't make it as simple as "good" and "evil" either. Good people can do bad things and evil characters can do good things.

Prime examples of this in MAA is Guanyin who did a bad thing not because she was a bad guy but because she felt she didn't have another choice. Then there's Tu who was - in the majority of the story - was a bad guy who ended up surrendering which was a good thing because he realized the error of his ways.

Other examples are Changpu, Ironhide, and Birdbrain.

This is similar with the SA situation in MAA. Situations like the ones that the characters find themselves in are ones that happen can happen to anybody. And as one very pissed off commenter pointed out once "Nezha is one of the strongest Gods, this would never happen to him" well that was one of the exact points I was trying to make with it. Yes, Nezha is one of the most powerful Gods but he's still a person and being strong doesn't mean that they can't be hurt.

Macaque has been assaulted multiple times since he was a teenager to the point where he almost expects it now whenever he faces a villain and often doesn't see it as an issue - which happens with people in those situations. Those things still bother him, of course, but he thinks it's more of an issue he brought on himself rather than a horrible thing that happened to him.

MK had never been exposed to something like that before and had no idea what to expect and was thrown for a loop. He didn't know what to do or how to process it but was saved so that makes him assume that it "wasn't as traumatic" for him or that his trauma isn't as valid. Which it is. It is completely valid and he went through hell. His assault is just as valid as Macaque's and Nezha's even if it didn't go as far as theirs did.

Then there's Nezha, who as I previous said is very strong. It was that strength that made him think he was protected from that kind of thing and that same reason that kept him from returning to the Celestial Realm for so long. Because, just like that commenter, he assumed most of the Celestial Realm would immediately assume that it was 'farfetched' or 'ridiculous' because of how strong he was.

These are three very real scenarios that people all around the world face and topics that many people ignore and avoid talking about. Trauma's are messy, uncomfortable, and complicated. They're not something that most people want to touch which is exactly why I do cover them.

I refuse to shy away from those dark topics because in the same way I write to process I know there are people out there who read those dark topics to process their own emotions.

I will continue to write as long and far as I can on this series and any other series and I'm excited to see people are excited for the return again! I have a lot planned and I also have a goal (a couple of them) but the one I'm currently talking about is to reach 1 Million words on MAA and if/when I do I'm going to treat myself with a new tattoo. I'm thinking an A03 tattoo but I might also commission somebody who's read the series to design me a tattoo inspired by MAA but we'll have to see on my money situation at that point :3 /gen /pos

Anyways, thanks so much for the comment, it made my day to read it! And thank you for using tone tags! You're amazing! /gen

I hope things get better for you <3

Ari

[plutobutartsy]

I know some people really do hc those characters because they “act” black, but don’t say everyone does. Some people do purely cause they think it looks nice, or because they want to. /lh /nm

Personally, darlin has never had a set design in my head. The others purely because I saw art of it and it stuck, nothing to do with personality or actions.

And with Hux, people (that I’m aware of at least) hc him as a stoner purely because of his voice and the way he talks? 😭

(not being mean or trying to start a fight, just saying not to lump everyone together cause most aren’t for that reason or are purely coincidences.)

💖

i'm trying to phrase this as nicely as i can but it really feels like you're being deliberately obtuse.

yes, people have different reasons for their headcanons and most probably don't have any malicious intentions at all. that doesn't mean their headcanons don't reenforce racist stereotypes.

"purely because they think it looks nice"

cool, genuinely no malicious intentions here! that means it was pure coincidence that they headcanoned, let's say darlin who often gets characterized to be aggressive, as black. in that case they should be more careful in the future as to not run into this issue of turning a character into a racist stereotype again. once is an accident, twice is a forming pattern.

"purely because i saw art of it and it stuck, nothing to do with personality or actions"

again, no malicious intent here!

if you saw art of it ONCE by ONE person and it stuck: same thing as above, try to be careful and think of possible racist connotations before just taking a headcanon and running with it.

if you saw MULTIPLE people with this headcanon, maybe even to the point you would consider it fanon, think about WHY it's such a popular headcanon in the first place. ask yourself why lasko, a nervous and soft-spoken sweet person, is widely considered to be a skinny white man while darlin, somebody considered to be tough and aggressive, is often portrayed as black or darkskinned. ask yourself if you truly see no racial bias here. if you don't see it then i don't know what to tell you.

"people mostly headcanon hux as a stoner because of his voice and the way he talks"

i am aware of that. but for him to then also coincidentally be one of the only characters they headcanon as black? if i give them the benefit of the doubt then they're still ignorant and need to educate themselves.

i'd also like to reiterate that by no means am i saying that you're only allowed to headcanon specific characters as black or that you're not allowed to headcanon your huxley or darlin as black. the problem comes in when your only poc characters also fall into racist tropes.

i'm saying that if your only non white, darkskinned characters are those that are antagonistic, violent or aggressive you are being racist (or colourist depending on the context). i'm saying that you need to take care to not turn your characters into racist stereotypes and tropes.

your intentions don't matter here. if i slap somebody to get a fly off their face i still slapped them. you can still be racist even when you don't mean to.

mind you, me and other black fans aren't asking for much. we just want you to take these things into consideration before making headcanons.

and not to be rude but your whole "don't say it's everybody" stuff comes off as very patronizing and i'm not having it. i made a general observation about a big part of the fandom and therefore made a generalized statement.

[bonesandthebees]

Yo,

So I was feeling bored and sentimental, so I went back and read through literally all of Clinic yesterday, and I think I noticed a teensy mistake.

In the main fic, when Tommy's under the dream interrogation thingie from 404, in the third dream (I think), Techno burns his hand. Tommy heals it, Techno starts pointing out his worst fears, etc. Anyways, we move on.

But in the Waking Nightmares side fic, when Tommy is explaining his dreams to Wilbur, he says that Techno cut his hand. And he also mentions that the dreams are ingrained in his mind almost flawlessly, so I doubt that's just good ol' Tommy missing a detail.

Idk it's just a silly little thing I noticed because that's the way I am, and just felt like pointing it out.

But seriously, tho, every time I go back and re-read Clinic, I still feel the suspense, even tho I know what's going to happen. Idk what else to call that, other than damn good writing. (Big ol' cheesy thumbs up to you :)



okay first off thank you for the kind words about my writing, I'm glad you enjoyed clinic so much :)

but I'm gonna go on a tangent for a second about my thoughts on you pointing this out to me. this is /nm, I know you didn't mean any harm, but I genuinely do not understand why people feel a need to point out tiny errors in fanfics like this. now in a situation where the mistake—whether it be an inconsistency or a typo or something like that—is bad enough to make the reader confused or possibly misinterpret the scene, then yeah, pointing it out to the author makes sense.

but you said it outright in your ask: you could tell that was just a mistake on my end. me accidentally referring to techno's injury as a cut as opposed to a burn was very clearly just a slight continuity error on my end. you knew what I meant. it didn't damage your ability to enjoy or understand either of the fics. and yet you took the time to write this whole message out to tell me about it. and I just don't understand the point. maybe you thought I'd want to know, but also I have friends who I can ask to read my works for me for errors like this. again, in a situation where the error is enough to mess up a readers understanding of what's going on, yeah, of course let me know. but in a situation where it's easy to understand that it's just a mistake, I really don't get why people feel the need to point it out to me?

this isn't specifically about you. I still get comments on one specific chapter of clinic pointing out a minor typo in the chapter. I finished that fic a year and a half ago. and people still. point. it. out. at this point I refuse to fix it out of spite. so that's also where a lot of this rambling is coming from.

I wanna emphasize, I'm not mad. I know you didn't mean any harm. but frankly, I write fanfic for my own enjoyment. I don't get paid for this. I don't have a professional editor or paid proofreader to go through everything I write to make sure it's publishing standard. it's just me, and sometimes my friends who are kind enough to read over my stuff for me before I post it. I don't care if I make a tiny error here and there, as long as the original intent is clear.

I'm sure a lot of other fic authors feel the same way I do about this. it's not something I'm fuming mad about or anything. it just bugs me because I don't understand the point. when I see an error like that in a fic, I just move on and keep reading.

anyway, didn't mean for this to get so long. you get my point. I'm not fixing that. you all know what I meant.

[soaringwide]

Hello, how are u? Can I join the new ask game?

I want to know what my April will be like (what will happen in this month). I'm NM, 21 years old

Thanks in advance 😊

Hello @wtfiamdoing! Thank you for reaching out :)

Here is your month ahead reading for April 2024. I did a 9 cards spread that mixes prediction and advice so that you can get some real support from it.

Side note for anyone else reading this: free readings are currently closed so that I can go through the asks I received so far. I will go through them in the next 4 days since I'll be off from work and have more time.

April 2024 Month Ahead tarot reading

You're coming into this month with a renewed energy and desire to take new actions and make changes in your life. I'm definitely getting spring vibes with the rise of energy after a long winter where you had to leave some things behind. Not sure if you live in the Northern hemisphere or not but it can be applicable regardless. Now is finally the time to blossom, and you're feeling motivated to take the steps to better your life.

Your theme of the month is to embrace your own abundance. The steps and progress you're going to make are going to help you take care of yourself better and nurture your prosperity for the months to come. You will learn to feel fulfilled with what you have as an anchor point, a place of safety within yourself, but to thrive for more. You will learn to stand as a strong and independent person who takes responsibility for their own happiness.

Your goal to pursue this month is to clear out the confusion and lack of clarity that you still have. Don't let yourself go to the temptation of feeling powerless due to the obstacles you will face because you have very supportive energies and those obstacles are only here to shape your will and strength. Be careful about overthinking and going in circles in your head and try to recognize when you're doing that.

The main obstacle is your tendency to remain a bit lost in your head and passive in your stance toward things. So don't hesitate to make the changes you need to do and try not to daydream too much instead of doing what you need to. Taking practical steps towards your goal by breaking them down into achievable tasks can be of great help. The idea is to keep moving a little everyday even if it feels small.

A major accomplishment this month is you finally being able to let go of emotional and mental pain. I see you finally moving on toward better things, and being able to do a massive release of something that weighted you down heavily. Perhaps you experienced a loss or severe disappointment in the past few weeks or months, and throughout the month the pain will ease until you are free from it.

However, you need to avoid being impatient. Things will grow and shift in due time so best being gentle with yourself while the process unfolds. Again there is this idea of gradual work put into something that will bear fruits later on.

What you need to embrace is a nurturing and supporting stance toward yourself. The transition between winter of spring is full of hope and energy, but it can also be rough at times since winter might come back for a few days with a vengeance that makes you think it's never going to go away. But it's not true and this beautiful card is here to remind you that you have all the resources you need around you to blossom. Ground yourself in reality, and take care of yourself. It seems to be putting a focus on your physical health and perhaps home situation. So if you feel so inclined, you can improve the way you eat, take care of your body, or do a spring cleanup of your home, now would be a perfect time to do it.

As for the support available to you, you might feel left out and alienated, which might make you want to isolate yourself. I think it's an encouragement to find support around even when you feel like there is none. Yes you are strong enough to stand on your own and find strength from within, and independence is a big theme for you this month, but you don't live in a bubble and there are people around you who genuinely want to help and support you through the hard parts. So perhaps this is an invitation to think about who this is and open yourself to them and perhaps do another clean up of the relationships around you to weed out who is not supportive of your growth.

The advice you have is to be grateful of all the beautiful things happening around you without dwelling too much on what's going wrong. This month will be a time of enjoyment for yourself so savor life, stop to smell the flowers blooming, enjoy the warmth of the sun, listen to the birds singing. Really, focus on the simple joys of life it will give you a lot of strength. Embrace your independence and your newfound strength. It is a time to celebrate that you are finally free from the pains of winter and to welcome the beautiful months ahead of you. You have the power to make your life bloom like a sublime and fragrant garden, and that start with nurturing your own self.

That's it for this reading! I hope this was useful and I'll be really happy to hear your feedback if you want to share something even in private :)

[notice-me-senpai-hell]

I literally had this blog since I was a little kid and now I'm a grown adult. Honestly it hurts to look back at my writings because it shows that I was a chronically online kid with no sense of anything (social cues, social no-no's, and just copying cliches from anime at the time).

BUT cringe culture is dead and I can't blame the little 11 year old that was just having fun and didn't know better at times. Now as I'm much older, I'm falling back in my hobbies and joys I had when I was young but couldn't embrace before of school, peer pressure, and my own sense of shame. But I'm just human and I have grown so much and yet- I still enjoy the same things like before. Granted, I may cringe at the stuff I posted whether wishing I did better or didn't do at all. Like my tag name is still cool in my eyes even if I struggle to say it out loud to a stranger/friend irl without getting red.

I'm losing my point, but I just get shy talking about my interests since I never had the space before. But I'm in a better space than I was a decade ago. I want to respect past me and current me to give myself the space to have fun and bit a little cringe (affectionate).

I don't want to delete anything or private it (even when I think too hard and want to) since I had some people reach out about my writing on other platforms and you never know if you wrote something that someone enjoyed or likes to go back and laugh at (whether in a bad way or in a funny way). I was also part of other blogs that did stuff for many fandoms that I loved (for example, Gravity Falls, etc , and Notice Me Senpai - a game that I loved to this day and I'm so proud of the stuff I did there. I'm not ashamed of the fun I had even if my irl friends at the time were weird about it. If you played that game and read my Match-Ups on that group blog I was part of or anything I had here .. KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU!!! I adore everyone on that blog and in the fandom of that game!!!! that was so cool and I can't believe kid me had so much time to write. I'm so happy that was a big part of my experience here on tumblr before the game got shut down. Yes, I was a little weird kid, but at least that weird kid had a funnel to pour all their ideas that got rejected in science and theater class).

This is just a public statement on my blog that when you scroll past this you will see and witness a gradient of my childhood of a chronically online and acoustic kid that didn't know know what would be fun then would be the thorn in my side aka my internet footprint. It will start with the sparse posts before diving into piles and piles of stuff. Don't look at it if you are new. Just don't. But you could.

But fuck it, let's embrace it since when I'm even older then this - I may cringe at myself now. Hell, I'm an adult on the internet talking about Japanese and Chinese visual novel/RPGs games. But I want to give myself the space to have fun with my hobbies since I'm so drained from being an adult - I just want to be a person that can have fun and not think to hard about irl. I want to pour out all my AU's and headcanons that rattle in my head since that's the point of creativity if you don't spill it out.

This has just been in my mind in a hot minute and I wanted to put it out there not really for anyone to read but more like a public statement for myself to remind me that it's okay to have fun. If you have been following me for some years and now just seeing this- heyYyyyyyy. Thanks for everything and y'all feel free to DM here. I would love to see how my audience changed with the years and talked to people from the NMS fandom (since my blog was more directed to them)

Heads up, I'm going to start posting stuff again like writings and headcanons and I'm excited to feel this weight off my shoulders.

TLDR: I was a chronically online 11 year old with no sense of anything (social cues, social no-no's, and just copying cliches from anime at the time) but that's fine- everyone is cringe when there are in middle school. I won't delete or private anything because I don't want to take away anything that someone enjoyed. I'm grown and I'm giving past me and current me the space to have fun.

I love the NMS fandom and proud of that stuff (even if I don't read it). Reach out to me and know that this blog will get a makeover and be alive one again.