#i don't want to live here anymore.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
just now, someone broke into my very next door (our buildings are connected) neighbor's place as they were away on a trip. they noticed over security cam livestream footage and contacted everyone. a bunch of cops with rifles and shotguns then showed up right in front of my bedroom window, broke into their house, and took away this singular unarmed woman who had snuck in and was hiding inside of their trailer in the garage.
the sergeant told my mom not to worry because they took several items (like a fire extinguisher) from my neighbor's place and were going to straight up lie about why she was being brought up to the precinct by saying that she was stealing/using said items so they can detain her for longer.
i'm feeling a lot of things right now
#of course everything that i just told you sounds deeply infuriating but i need you to understand that i am a very paranoid person#due to a history of having my house broken into before which has severely affected every waking moment of my life living in society#and the fear i'm feeling right now combined with this sense of hopelessness from every angle is too much right now#i just want to move. i want out. i need to move to a place where this isn't common.#i'm not only afraid of someone breaking into my place at any given time. i am also afraid of the deeply corrupt justice system#that would just tell that to my mom's face like yeah! this is a good thing that we do !#and not the most disturbing thing you've ever heard in your life.#while i am terrified for my life every moment that i spend living here. i can also see the skinny young woman surrounded by guns#being taken with her head down right in front of my window.#while unlikely. she could have just been seeking shelter or food for all we know. one look at her tells you that she's probably dirt poor.#and thinking about the way that cop just said they were going to treat her by just Lying. is the most disgusting thing i've ever heard.#i don't want to live here anymore.#i don't want to live in a neighborhood where it's a constant tug and pull between the marginalized and the corrupt#where My House is the stage. somehow.#i just want the fuck out of the country altogether. straight up.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
How much longer 'til your luck runs out?
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#Aaargh...I have so many thoughts about this scene.#This is a hard goodbye. I'm not your burden to bear. Not anymore.#This is the culmination of years of miscommunication. There was so much love there. They trusted each other with everything once.#I think it is easy to hear the anger in JC's voice and consider him the aggressor in this but listen to the words not the tone.#It is anger yes - but it is an anger born out of love.#Jiang Cheng wanted him to live - damn the rest of the world to hell if that's what it took. And Wei Wuxian chose strangers over him.#Sometimes two people who once flourished together become each other's worst wounds.#A goodbye to someone you once would have done anything for is a wound you don't easily recover from.#Jiang Cheng could have stood at Wei Wuxian's side and joined him. Consider though; as a sect leader his life is not his own anymore.#JC cannot just abandon the fledgling New Yunmeng Jiang without also dooming people.#And that is the lynch pin of it all. Both of them are trapped by duty. And the older they got the more tangled the web became.#The song I linked (Hi Epic fans) is such a good JC and WWX song that doesn't fit this scene exactly#But it does fit *them*. The words of warning that go dismissed. The Tactical Genius who continues to press on.#The seeds of doubt that grow louder until they creep towards mutiny. Ultimatly this *is* a mutiny! It *is* betrayal!#'You rely on wit and people die by it'. Is that not Wei Wuxian?#Just smashing my brainworms together over here. Don't mind me.
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
It’s finally done, guys – five whole pages of Narilamb AU comic AND MORE be upon you! (If you have trouble reading any of the text, view the full-size! These pages are huge!)
Yeesh, this took forever. <:)
There’s probably a ton of inconsistencies and anatomy/perspective wonkeries, but this was mostly just comic practice, so Oh Hekkin Well, Lol <:D
(Yes, I am aware the Gateway’s door isn’t present in the Afterlife, and the actual way in is just a pentagram portal. Yes, I put the door in there anyway because Artistic License, i.e. it felt more impactful for there to be a prison door of sorts to walk through to freedom, rather than just a bland boring portal on the ground. 😠)
anyway, i hate backgrounds so much lmao
Alternate ending and a buttload of bonus art under the cut, followed by goofy AU rambles and headcanon stuff:
I’m calling it the Revival AU. It’s not all that creative a title, and someone else has probably used it already, but I am too lazy to really care, LOL
Alternate ending page, which you will Definitely need to view the full-size for, Whoopsie Daisy:
The alternate ending was actually the first ending I finished things off with, because I had a brief badbrain moment where I forgot the emotional beat I initially wanted the comic to end on, and I tend to write comedy, anyway. I later remembered and drew out the proper ending, but I preserved and finished this one, too, because it still makes me giggle.
They had to go back for the followers off-screen in the AU’s real ending. And by ‘they’ I mean just the Lamb, because they weren’t about to ask three newly freed cats to go back into what used to be their prison. The Lamb DID spend some time watching Narinder and the bois enjoying the outdoors first, though:
In other news, here’s the Lamb and me making fun of my anatomy-drawing ‘skills’:
Meanwhile, if you’re wondering why the Lamb is just a-okay with how things went down vis a vis Their Murder, this bonus comic should answer at least some of your questions:
Ah, yes, also this is how they get engaged outside of the alternate ending. Forgot to mention that bit. XD (I already refuse to believe that Narinder is capable of flirting normally, so why would his initial marriage proposal be any better???)
Oh, and before any of them get a chance to actually head back to the cult grounds, there is one potential problem:
And by ‘problem’ I mean something Narinder intends to ignore for At Minimum a thousand years. Cuz he’s a petty bitch like that. :D
what do you mean i drew the lamb too tall compared to the background? clearly they’re standing on top of baal and aym lmao, why else would you think those two aren’t in this one??? (aym and baal got way too excited about finally being outside, you see, and their silly modes are nothing to sneeze at)
And, speaking of heading back to the cult grounds, I’m sure y’all would love to know how the Lamb’s followers felt about the brand new change in management:
It all went better than expected. <:D Tiny ramble now, feel free to skip down to the next comic.
Before you ask, no, the Lamb does not have any actual powers anymore, other than the immortality Narinder definitely grants them. The Red Crown just thinks it’s funny to suggest otherwise, and Narinder does nothing to discourage this. Also, the Lamb and Narinder aren’t actually married here yet, but, uh. Pretty safe to say that particular ritual directly follows the events of this comic. XD
Given how quickly he mellows out in canon, Narinder probably chills out a lot in this AU once he’s in charge of the cult, too, if only because 1.) He’s finally free, and 2.) He’s equally smitten with and distracted by the Lamb. He’s definitely in charge at least 95% of the time, though, because the Lamb never actually wanted to be a cult leader and, now that their time as a vessel is done, they just want to be a normal(ish) sheep who’s wholly devoted to their hot new divine husband.
Some followers do still have some valid concerns about these two being together, though, which I’m sure at least a few of you might share…
Unfortunately for any such concerns, the Lamb is a bonafide masochist in this AU. :D
They’re also 100% a sub, obviously
Anyone at all: Your relationship is problematic and potentially toxic
The Lamb: fuck yeah it is, it’s so hot~ OuO
Here’s just the last panel, made transparent for whatever nefarious purposes y’all might have for it:
Additional exchange Narinder and the Lamb have at some point, probably after the Lamb does a fatal whoopsie while out on a mission trip or in response to things getting a little too sadistic in the bedroom, ahaha:
Look, there is a very important distinction between life and death, and if you don’t understand that, then you’re probably not worthy of being the God of Death, anyway. (At least, according to Narinder, and ONLY Narinder.)
Last but not least, have these shittens:
~Such creative naming conventions I have utilized, lololol~ :D Anyway, there's a few deets on them in the rambles down below.
The rest is all ramble, so before I get to that, I’ll just say – likes and especially reblogs are very much appreciated!!! :D If you happen to really really REALLY like my stuff, meanwhile, I do have a link in my bio to my ko-fi page, where I’m accepting commissions and donations if you’re especially generous… ÓuÒ
Now, BE FREE IF YOU AIN’T DOWN FOR READING MY GOOFY RAMBLES
First ramble is re: Baal’s question of ‘Did it really work?’, since I didn’t feel like expanding on it in the comic proper, and it’s arguably pretty vague? He doesn’t ask because he doubts Narinder or his capabilities, exactly, but because neither Baal nor Aym have ever actually seen their god at full power before (he’s still technically not at full power here, either). It’s not expressly stated how soon the brothers were brought to Narinder after his imprisonment, but whether it was early on or after a length of time for Shamura to (somewhat) recover from his attack, he must have already been weakened, since I have no doubts that there was a huge battle that accompanied the Bishops working together to trap him. So, between that fight with all four of his siblings, sharing his power with a variety of vessels over time, and being chained immobile for a thousand years, he must have been severely weakened by the time he lent the Red Crown out to the Lamb, which would have only weakened him further.
I like to think this is how the Lamb is able to defeat him if they refuse to be sacrificed, despite how it took all four Bishops working together to subdue and chain Narinder in the first place.
All that aside, the three cats have been trapped in the Afterlife for so long that Baal also wanted verbal reassurance that they are all, indeed, actually able to leave it now – something that I headcanon isn’t possible without a significant amount of power (i.e. the Red Crown’s cooperation with its bearer/vessel).
(On a semi-related note, I don’t headcanon Aym and Baal as twins. I like sweetheart big bro Baal and snarky little goth bro Aym too much to have them be that close in age.)
Ah, teeny thing: If you noticed I switched up the art style for Narinder on the second page, that was intentional. It's sort of a visual indicator that there has been a Big Change for him - that being, how much power he has after sacrificing the Lamb. As for why I changed up his arms in the grass rollin' pic, I don't really subscribe to the notion that his arms are spooky bones because they're horrifically injured (beyond chain-chafing scars, that is), but rather just because he's the Bishop of Death, so he can change how normal-to-spooky they look at will. At some point I might doodle out how I imagine his appearance to range between least to most eldritch... 🤔
Next ramble, regarding Narinder’s feelings towards the Lamb...he was initially too focused on being freed from his imprisonment to form any real attachment to them. They were a tool for his use, first and foremost, but he did notice their intense devotion towards him. It was impossible not to notice, because the Lamb was always very happy to see him, even if it was because they died during a crusade (yet again). He wasn’t originally planning to revive them once he was freed, either, because he saw no real point to it – after all, they were already dead when they first met him, just as any other mortal would be when meeting him in the Afterlife, so death has very little real consequence in his eyes. But, once the chains were off, and it really sank in that he stood to lose the most devoted follower he’s ever had, he decided…why put their soul to rest for good or leave them stuck in the Afterlife when he could just as easily revive them again? And why not reward them for their hard work, anyway? Not only would it cost him nothing by comparison, but the future devotion that could come of it would surely make up for his (bare minimum) effort in reviving them.
He wasn’t expecting to get a full dose of that devotion and a smiling face so soon after killing them, though~ :3c (because the Lamb is a bonafide freak, and not-so-secretly into the fucked up power dynamics going on here, lol)
I should mention here that I am firmly of the belief that any non-god/vessel who crosses through the Gateway and into the Afterlife just straight up dies. So, Aym and Baal? Also straight up dead, from the second Shamura brought them through. Their souls were just never put to rest so that Narinder could have some company – if only according to Shamura. Narinder kept the two around mostly out of bewilderment, because honestly, who are these kittens, and what is Shamura’s game here, anyway??? They never even explained anything, they just tossed these kittens into the Afterlife and LEFT!!! At any rate, Aym and Baal being dead is how I explain why their souls apparently become lost in the void if they’re killed, along with the added complications required to revive the two because of it.
So, with those deets in mind, and given a bit of time, if Narinder hadn’t chosen to revive the Lamb, and also hadn’t chosen to put their soul to rest, they still would have woken up at some point, despite being as straight up dead as Aym and Baal. Who, don’t worry, were also properly revived while Narinder was waiting for the Lamb to wake up. Because I am also firmly of the belief that, first, the dead cannot leave the Afterlife without the use of a ritual/relic (and can't stay in the living world for long regardless), and second, dead followers’ devotion isn’t anywhere near as potent as that of the living, given how much more the living stand to lose.
Final ramble, regarding the Lamb’s feelings towards Narinder, and why they’re so devoted to him…
Well, you don’t spend most of your life on the run with your steadily-dwindling herd, trying to evade the ongoing genocide of your species, without becoming a little fucked up in the head. Maybe a lot fucked up in the head. Life is suffering, so might as well have fun with it, right? Maybe start finding death and pain to be kind of hilarious, even a little bit hot, once everyone you know and love is dead and gone, leaving you all alone? And maybe after that, there’s something comforting in how, despite the cold, cruel uncertainties of life, at least you can always count on the inevitability of death, patiently waiting for you until your very last breath? Who knows. Either way, as soon as the Lamb was killed, and they learned that the literal God of Death was offering them a second chance at life and vengeance via effective immortality, they were 100% ride-or-die-devoted all at once. Turns out death is kinder than life – go figure. (Of course, it helps that Narinder is 100% their type.)
They weren’t put off by Narinder’s thinly-veiled sadism or manipulations, either – they’re not too different in those regards, albeit opting for vastly different methods. It’s a very ‘two sides of the same coin’ sort of deal. In order to stay alive once they were made the last of their kind, the Lamb had no qualms with using others to their advantage, and that did not change once they were revived and expected to run a cult. They didn’t care for the position of authority, though – being a sheep and all, they’re much more of a follower than a leader, and thus greatly appreciated Narinder’s need for control. With how they had to keep on their toes for so long, the Lamb was also pretty good at reading people by the time they died, so they could recognize that a lot of Narinder’s posturing was just that – posturing. Dude’s 95% bluster and only 5% bite. He could obviously be vicious when he wanted or needed to (the Bishops' injuries were clear proof of that), but underneath his outer layer of cruelty was a generous layer of tsundere, and underneath all THAT was a soft squishy middle sibling velcro cat in desperate need of attention and affection.
(Which, for the record, he Did Not feel comfortable getting from Aym and Baal – Narinder still has no idea why the fuck Shamura sent them to him, beyond acting as keepers at best or trying to sabotage his attempts to escape at worst. Which, he thought HE sabotaged in turn, by guiding the kittens into being his devoted disciples instead. He thought he was very clever for it. ‘I outsmarted Shamura!’ he thought, despite that there was never anything there to outsmart. ‘What do you mean, Shamura sent your kittens to me for company?’ he demands of Forneus later. It may or may not lead him to pull Shamura out of Purgatory just so he can shake them and scream about how they should have Fucking Explained that!!!)
But, getting back on track as to why the Lamb was so willing to be sacrificed, I cannot stress this enough – if you pay even a minimal amount of attention to what he’s saying, Narinder is REALLY NOT SUBTLE about his intentions. ‘Death is of little consequence.’ ‘Followers are for you to use to your advantage.’ ‘Sacrifice a follower to absorb more power.’ So, yeah, the Lamb knew exactly what would be expected of them once the other Bishops were dead. They knew Narinder would expect them to die for him one last time. But, after all, death is of little consequence (not to mention hot), so when the time came, they wanted to see him freed, even if it meant oblivion for them in the end.
He’d given them a second life, and the ability to avenge their kin, and they felt indebted to him for that – so, while they were still pretty glum about the possibility that they might not get to see him free of his chains, nothing beyond their devotion and debt to him mattered. They never wanted all the drama and expectations that came with the Red Crown’s power, anyway, so, better for Narinder to have it back so that he could deal with it. What he did with the Lamb afterward would be up to him, and seeing as he was their god, they’d accept his decision gladly.
Were they in love with him by that point? Oh, obsessively so, but only in the devotional sense – romance was nowhere on their mind nor radar. That is, until he unexpectedly revived them again, told them he still needed them, and then offered down his hand to help them up.
The Lamb fell HARD for him in that moment. :3c
And now, a tiny shitten ramble. Lu and Li are twins, because sheep tend to have those a lot, and are conceived not long after the Lamb and Narinder’s marriage ceremony. Lu is the minutes older one, but Li is much more mature. I have put no further thought into these two, other than that they are utter menaces, birthed by the Lamb, cling hard to both their parents but especially Narinder (who spoils them rotten), and they are both genderfluid, using whichever pronouns/names they feel like at any given time. They are also both intersex, same as the Lamb, who was initially infertile up until Something Something Vague Magic, which I have also put no further thought into ¯\_(シ)_/¯
oh, and before anyone tries to suggest i headcanon this AU’s lamb as trending more female due to them giving birth or whatever, no, no, a thousand times no, they might have a vag, but they've also got a dick, and even if it's not as big as they'd like, they still know how to use it
Finally, the very tentative name for the Lamb in this AU is Yazdi, which is really just another name for the Baluchi breed of sheep XD (Not that the Lamb is this specific breed, I just didn’t like any of the other sheep-related names I found, ahaha...)
THAT’S ALL FOR NOW (collapses into an exhausted pile of goopy limbs)
#fanart#comics#cult of the lamb#cotl#narilamb#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#cotl shitten#cotl mystic seller#cotl aym#cotl baal#aym and baal#this is why i have been especially quiet lately XD#even just the bonus stuff took several days to finish because i don't know the meaning of DOODLE anymore apparently#everything must be fully inked and colored with backgrounds I Fukken Guess#at least using medibang's sumi brush keeps me from focusing on making my lines perfect :\#and yeah i copy-pasta'd a lot of my own backgrounds don't at me bro#if you're on desktop and want to full view but don't know how: right click the image - open in new tab - zoom in as needed :)#feel free to ask questions about the AU if you want - but uh - this is basically the extent to which i've thought it through LOL#edit: oh right - aym and baal really out there assuming narinder already put the lamb's soul to rest so the body's just fodder now lmao#last edit i hope: fixed the transparent cult certified freak image 8|#nope - one more edit: there is one (1) loophole for how living mortals can be in the afterlife without dying#that loophole is currently narinder XD#'sorry universe but the god of death says i can be in here so back off with your rules and regulations'
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Me throughout 2020-2021-2022-2023:
Me the moment AO3 has been down for more than ten hours:
#someone put me out of my misery#i don't want to live on this planet anymore#mimi talks#GOOD THING THAT SOME AO3 WRITERS ALSO POST THEIR FICS HERE#HI. I LOVE YOU ALL#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#ao3#archives of our own#pain and suffering
5K notes
·
View notes
Note
you're so like. inspiring. or i wish i could be inspired. you reblog that post with the blue critter and you're like "im glad i was born on this planet". how do i manage to get that mindset. how do i manage to not want the pain to stop at any cost and enjoy what's still possible to enjoy
It's my first time here and I'm never coming back
#I wanted to write something long and poetic and meaningful#About how I used to be suicidal#And sometimes still get that way#But still find wonder and joy in things#And have just learned to hold on tighter#But like#It's so much simpler than that#I don't believe in reincarnation#Or an afterlife#But I see things every day that are amazing#Things people can do with their hands#Animals I never could have imagined#New food and skills and art and music#And I just remember#Oh yeah#I'm new here#I've never done this before#The universe is infinite and I'm just a speck#And I'm never gonna be able to see it all even if I tried to#And when I'm dead it'll be too late#It's like having ten minutes in a museum before it gets demolished forever with everything in it#I've never been alive before but now I am and it'll be over soon#I'm never coming back#I'm just a tiny piece that gets to think and feel for a while before it's over#It's my very first time living and I'm never coming back#I'm gonna stop existing soon#I'm not gonna have feelings anymore#So what do I wanna do#What do I wanna see before the lights go out
395 notes
·
View notes
Text
Can we talk about how Scar and Lizzie, last season's two Lone Players, are now teamed with each other
#trafficblr#wild life smp#''i wish everyone was here'' *dies alone* ''how did the guy with no friends win'' *spends months in complete isolation afterwards*#of course they don't want to be alone anymore#and looking back on it now they think about how there was someone else who also lived their life alone and probably feels the same#...y'know this makes that au i thought of hit even harder#gtwscar#lizzie ldshadowlady
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
lol not me crying because someone from my program texted me to ask how i was doing and that they hadn't seen me around in a while
#i don't really have any friends here so even getting a text makes me 😭#like i have 'friends' in the sense that i like most of the people in my program and i'm reasonably certain that almost everyone likes me to#but we're not close and we don't spend time together or anything#all of the people that i was closer with aren't in the program anymore and live elsewhere and they just don't stay in touch#and like i do just get very frustrated because in all of my friendships where one of us has moved away#or even when we're just like at different jobs or stuff so we don't see each other much anymore#i've tried SO HARD to stay in touch and aside from ONE person it always fizzles out despite my best efforts#and i don't think it's anything to do with me or them per se#but just sort of this broad dynamic of how our general society conceptualizes and (de)prioritizes friendship#which isn't what *i* want for *my* friendships#and there's also this dynamic of like. almost every single person in my program has a partner. and i do not.#and like blah blah blah amatonormativity etc#i try really hard not to let my brain twist it all into anything more hurtful than what it is#i know that's life and we're in grad school and everyone's busy etc etc etc#but it does really wear me down to be so alone and lonely literally all of the time#and to end on a lighter note: thank you to all my tumblr pals for being such great pals 🥹 you are so loved and appreciated 💛
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
to my fellow creatives: never stop making art. art is an act of protest.
#i know that this is outside of what i normally post but a few days have passed and i've had time to think#the results of the US elections are hitting me really hard. i feel so gutted and betrayed and have no idea who the hell to trust anymore#so with that being said#I just want it to be abundantly clear that I am anti-Tr*ump and if you voted or support him in any way just unfollow me#actually do me a favor and block me#you do not deserve to read and enjoy art made by me if you think i don't deserve the right to fucking exist.#support black lives#free palestine#very fucking pro-choice#queer lives matter#disabled lives matter#i dislike the performative act of providing a list like this is a menu at a restaurant but i want there to be NO DOUBT where i stand.#there are many others who are more qualified and smarter than me to speak but i want to make it very clear to my followers where i stand.#and before someone says 'keep politics out of art' shut the actual fuck up. art and consuming art is and always will be political#and the only art worth anything is made by people like me and people who I love and support#and don't think it's only the US. the issues we have here are just as present in canada europe and asia and everywhere else.#there's so much more that i could say but that's all for now. my inbox is open.
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
i don't normally post things like this but, since i've shared some updates on this blog about the iowa city situation, one of my local acquaintances and fellow police-surveilled trans comrades, harry (xi/her), is raising money so that she can flee iowa and she's almost at her funding goal.
if you have the ability to donate or share, she has her sights set on illinois (one of the few sanctuary states for trans people) and she's been through hell this past year after being targeted and surveilled by the police for protesting against our state's severe anti-trans policies.
harry's fundraiser: gofundme.com/f/help-a-trans-woman-escape-a-transphobic-state
#i really don't want her to have to rely on so little#we aren't friends or well-acquainted but from what i know she's lived here her whole life#iowa is suffocating trans people here and she deserves healthcare and rights protections that are not available here anymore
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
something something foils moving in opposite directions Goku's always happy to seek and fight stronger opponents because he spent most of his life being the strongest guy in the room and Vegeta wants to be the strongest/is always exhausted to find stronger opponents because he spent most of his life having to navigate his survival around the whims of the strongest guy in the universe room and so Goku has a foundation of safety and stability and so spends his time craving challenge and adventure and Vegeta has a foundation of challenge and adventure and spends his time craving safety and stability and the overlaid section of their venn diagram is that the only way they know how acquire and maintain those things is through battle
#thank you this has been the laziest media analysis post of my career#dbtag#media analysis#something something a game to goku is a threat to vegeta etc#there's a pinned thought here about how Vegeta also didn't learn about the dragon balls until he was ?? 30?? and so all loss is permanent#and goku has been familiar since he was ~12 and hasn't faced a permanent consequence since he was 10 years old and even then he got closure#sometimes I think about how Vegeta saw Trunks die and how Krillin was mad at him for reacting since they could fix it with the dragon balls#but Vegeta has very limited experience with the dragon so to him in that moment that was permanent and Trunks was Dead. Forever.#And we talked before in a 2am post about Vegeta having never experienced grief born of love and I stand by it because his feelings then wer#still very new and very odd and not something he'd accepted until that moment so it was raw power but not as powerful as it could've been#all this to say in my heart of hearts I think Vegeta deserves to retire at the end of super (if super continues) -- not as a warrior#but as an infantryman. he's a prince and now he's got his domain and his family and his planet to look after and I think he deserves#to go home and stay home and help piccolo bully gohan into training more often when goku inevitably leaves to hop the multiverse#geets wanted to take a sabbatical when Bulla was born but didn't get the chance because Freeza coming back freaked him out too much#but whether freeza gets a redemption arc or gets defeated -- Granolah's arc seemed to shift his perspective on being the strongest#and I just grips fist I just think it would be a really nice full circle for Vegeta to inherit his throne in a way he never expected and#finally get his kingdom to look after and protect in the way that he was looking forward to being king of his own planet all those years ag#Goku's got Broly and Jiren and Hit and all the others to keep him busy and happy now -- and if Freeza gets a redemption arc he'll probably#continue playing slap-ass with Goku for the rest of his life -- and Vegeta's got Gohan and Piccolo and Goten and Trunks#I just think them getting a nice bittersweet 'This is where we part ways' would be really nice for both of them because !!#They couldn't have done this without each other. They couldn't have known this kind of life was possible without each other.#So they swap lots and live happier than they ever imagined they could be#especially since Vegeta has proved to himself that he can close any gap Goku creates in progress that's not a concern anymore#And obvs the door's always open!! There's no point closing it Vegeta's tried the locks they don't work on Goku#anyway here's me putting the whole essay in the tags again#this isn't an essay as much as it is stream of consciousness tag blogging#anyway i'm too lazy to write fic or draw comics so we get ramblings instead
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Vent post
#ignore me lol#vent post#I am feeling extremely angry and frustrated and alienated#like of course I'm demotivated when I point out injustice and literally everyone just shrugs at me and tells me to get over it#“what are we gonna do about it”#put any thought into it whatsoever for starters#idk I want to give up#the same bitches that tell me not to kill myself are the same ones to vote my rights away#I hate living#I don't even get validation from participating in fan content anymore#im just anxious and feeling rejected all the time#except for like five very specific moots on here#but then I feel like a fucking failure for not knowing how to socialize or show them that I care without being weird and ugh#idk i'm tired#I feel like I put all this energy into making myself acceptable for everyone else and I go out of my way to be positive and compassionate#and then I get fuckall in return#post election blues ig#here's hoping I don't end up under a bridge#I think I would be a vastly different (better) person if everyone around me wasn't a bunch of complacent#selfish#wet blankets.#I'm getting really tired of being treated like I'm crazy for expecting better.#I can't talk to anyone because I don't want to hear that I need to get over it or that everything will be fine#it doesn't help or mean anything#things just get harder and harder and I'm just waiting around#I'm so srs if you read this far don't try to tell me nice things#im in an evil caustic mood and I will just continue pouring negativity in return
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
#and i SADDLE UP MY PONYTA AND I RIDE INTO THE SIT-TAY#I MAKE A LODDA NOISE CUZ THE GURLS THEY R SO PRETAY#RIDIN' UP N DOWN BROADWAY ON MY OLD STUD LEROY AND THE GIRLS SAY:#SAVE A RAPIDASH RIDE A MEOWBOY!!!#JOHN WAYNE AINT GOT NUTHIN ON MY FRINGE GAME HELL NO!!!!#well stranger don't ya know i'd like to be yer friend... IF I HAD THE TIME TO STAAAAAAY.#BUT I'M A BRAMBLIN A BLOWIN IN THE WIND. I'VE GOT TO CATCH ANOTHER STAAAAAAAAGE.#I STRAP ON MY GUITAR JUST LIKE A FORTY FIVE. I PRAY EACH NIGHT MY AIM IS TRUUUUEEEE#and ACQUAINTANCES TURN TO FRIENDS I HOPE THOSE FRIENDS THEY REMEMBER ME#HOLD THE NIGHT FOR RANSOM AS WE KIDNAP THE MEMORIES#NOT SURE THERES A WAY TO EXPRESS WHAT U MEANT TO ME#SOMETIMES I GET TO THINKIN BOUT SETTLIN' DOWN. FADE OFF INTO A MEMORY.#BUT EVERY NIGHT THAT I STEP OUT TO FACE THE CROWD?#I KNOW THIS IS THE LIFE FOR MEEEEEEE#pokemon#meowth#ok context. to whomever it may concern. which is no one but idc i have a lot to say and no one to say it to#first off heres my like bi-annual post bc i 1. only draw f*rdekyl* and fucking detest f*re *emblem fans with a burning passion#so i hate sharing my 'art' . so heres a rare non-fk thing. bc i also hate social media as a whole it makes me sue of side all#but like 2. i have deliberately avoided scar/vio bc its a BAD GAME. and its not made well. also i know 'open world' formats#trigger my ocd. which it did exactly. but thats mostly irrelevant. but in anycase. i bit the bullet bc i was in a pkmn mood#esp after my long beloved n*te and dook*ie gave me a hankering for a pkmn game again#and my lil bro accidentally bought 2 copies years ago so i was like fck it ill give it a shot its Free#and yes the game is dogshit. however. everytime i see a meowth in the wild i lose my mind.#his jaunty little yee-haw walk kills me every time. i adore him. thus this was inspired.#alright imma head out i fucking hate this website as well as every other social media . maybe ill draw something non-fk in like a year#see ya in like a year maybe if i live that long. which i wouldnt count on bc tbh this year has been BAD in terms of my pain. im on the#EXTREME decline and can BARELY draw anymore. i want to die. i got nothin left. it just keeps getting worse so adios!#:(
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
Winona
said
WHAT!?
#i don't want to live on this planet anymore#i was already seeing people shipping them thanks to the new movie#now people that saw the new movie are gonna watch the old movie. will keep shipping them#then they'll realize there's a cartoon AND THEY'RE GOING TO SHIP THEM AGAIN#then they gonna know about the musical AND DO THE SAME SHIT#I CAN'T WITH THIS#I'M TIRED#i always thought new Beej media would bring me happiness WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE#mimi talks#ramble
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi, just letting you know that ahmed 90s-ghost doesn't verify fundraisers anymore! he quit after it got too overwhelming, so you shouldn't @ him asking him to. you can probably find the post about it by searching his blog.
Thanks for letting me know, Anon...
I get it... I REALLY do.
I understand. Y'know I used to be so excited to get Asks. It means someone wants to talk about art and silly cartoon characters with me. But now all I feel is dread. Not because I don't want to help, but because the help I give is never enough. I used to privately mesage back to those Asks, but one became 6 became 10 to... Well. I can't donate. Euros and dollars are valued a lot higher here, thus the opposite is also true. The value of our money is but a paltry bread's worth and even if I split it in crumbs, with the amount of people who approach me for help, it'll soon run dry, but I'm just a student who still rely on my parents financially. So I thought I'd share instead, but that quickly got out of hand. I post one thing and get multiple asks by the HOUR. I already had to apologize for struggling to meet demands before and I only had 3 or 6 rare to come-by short Asks about art. Now I have a hundred and counting I have to check personally. I didn't want to admit it, but I've also long been overwhelmed. I just didn't feel like I had the right to say so. I still don't. But the truth is, anyone can say they're verified too, which is terrible because not only will I be partially responsible for my followers who got scammed by bots or scumbags who take advantage of those at war with fake fundraisers, but even worse is that the help and money may not even reach those who actually need it. I thought I would be fine the first time. I don't really like posting too much about our depressing reality or watching news in general because my account was supposed to be a "safe SPACE" and a "nice little BUBBLE" for us to be happy and escape for awhile, so I didn'tmthink much about rebloggingit at first. I only wanted to help. But it just kept going and I got swept away. There's so many of them, but there's only one of me and I've been spiraling lately. So for now, I will no longer take any Asks about this subject (which I always avoid mentioning directly because the algorithm has it out for putting you guys down and I wanted you all to make it so I didn't tag those reblogs with such). I'll still take Asks provided they're related to my actual content and of course I'll still support raising awareness for Pal est ine, yet I also get it if this may appear selfish to some of you. I tried. I really did. But if you'd rather ignore, unfollow, or block me for this decision, I understand. I'm just sorry it had to come to this and that I wasn't strong enough to help more. -Bubs.
#I'm so very sorry#asks#thank you for your hard work 90s-ghost#I hope you're doing better now#war serves no one#I know a lot of people needs help#but I can't keep up with the demand anymore#I'm feeling burned out and college just started back up again#I know I'm lucky to live the life that I do and I shouldn't get to complain#but I've been spiraling lately cause it's a thankless job that reminds me quick and repeatedly that I can't save everyone#I'm sorry for the onslaught of negativity from me lately#this wasn't what I made my account for#but I'll be back to making more content sooner than you think#it makes me happy and now I REALLY need that escape too#I know I'm a coward who's likely dooming people#I'm disappointed in me too#feel free to unfollow me#but never forget to support those families in need#they're just desperate to live like the rest of us#and please don't harass anyone because of this#that's the LAST thing I want to happen#I want to help them too but I'm stretched thin here#one person can't do this all on their own#so let's support each other instead and unite for this cause#I don't want this war. I don't want this discord.#the ones who does are monsters#people's lives are at stake and even if I barely helped#the same cannot be said if the lot of us were to do our part#please help these victims of war#but let's not forget we're not on our own.
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
I miss the stucky fandom from the 2020-2022 era, it was so lively with so many amazing people and there was so much good content going around
#remember remember#we were all in lockdown so we had nothing else to do but be here all day long#and so many fics got written in those years#so many great artists were active#and generally the tumblr dashboard was always full and alive#i understand that now we started living our lives again and a lot of people don't have time for fandom anymore#but it's also because marvel did some good damage with all the bullshit they produced after endgame#and new generations that come on here sadly don't really contribute much because they think it works like Instagram#liking posts isn't enough if you want to see more content#i miss those days and i miss so many of those people that now are inactive#i hope you are all doing well and i wish you all the best#dready rambles#stucky
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
a svsss/hlvrai crossover au. is this anything.
#grabbing my hlvrai mutuals. listen. LISTEN. don't run away.#i know chinese bl novels are a tough sell but LISTEN.#i think there is some significant overlap here#both ''the narrative is alive and wants you dead'' settings#where the pov character is a loser dude (affectionate) from the real world inserted into a setting he knows because he's read/played it#so he knows the characters and the world but they don't know him. not really. they just know the character he's inhabiting#and through his actions he changes the plot and the characters and their fates#but this is not necessarily a good thing#because now he has to deal with the consequences of living in this story#this isn't just a game or a trashy novel anymore#he could get hurt. the people around him could get hurt.#are they people? or are they just fictional characters? is there really a distinction anymore?#anyway. i feel like benrey would be able to hear sqq talking to the system and would call him out on it#and it would scare the everloving shit out of sqq#i think shen yuan could very easily be a twitch streamer and binghe could very easily be a video game character obsessed with his feet#i am only halfway through the first svsss book and i can already feel it changing my brain chemistry oh god help
13 notes
·
View notes