#i don't want to go to school anymore

[iwanttobepersephone]

So, my mom was telling me how much free time I have, and I was like, "I have no freetime wth do you mean?????" And I just wanna see if this is like. A normal way to think of things?

Things I need to do:

Finish reading icebound land

Make a whole lotta art that I promised people

Research study abroad programs

At least one Dutch lesson a day

Keep my room clean

Talk to my friends so they know I love them (and so I don't go insane)

My math homework

Keep myself clean (showers, finally brushing my teeth after months, etc etc) so I don't go insane

Eat at 7pm

Various things I enjoy as to not go insane

All from 6pm to 9 pm, every day, after being at school from 8 am to 3:30 pm and then The Public (teen center) from 3:30 to 5:30, and I need to be in bed by 9:30 and asleep by 10:00

So, basically, I'm "on the clock" from 7 am (When I start getting ready for school) until 9 pm, with no breaks

But yeah no I totally have free time. Yeaup

[uselessnbee]

what i wish people would also explore more when it comes to Percy is the other side of his feelings about his mom about family and his childhood but this fandom is too afraid to paint Sally even in the slightest bad light (even if it's not bad just acknowledging her flaws because she's a human being and not perfect) that no one will touch on that subject. like yes Sally is the best mom but she also isn't and that's the thing! She isn't perfect! but she tried her best but her best still got Percy hurt and it isn't her fault at all but that's the tragedy of it. i want Percy's feelings about this explored. how he grew up with a loving mom but an abusive step father. how his step father would humiliate him and call him stupid but then his mom soothed him and told him he's not the things Gabe calls him. how Gabe would hurt him and Sally would be there to make him happy and loved but at the same time she stayed with him. i want Percy's feelings explored about how he knows his mother loves him but her absence still hurt him. she would work so much to have money to raise him she did that for him but at the same time it meant Percy was left alone or with Gabe. Sally gave up so much for him, she sent him away to protect him but at the same time he was sent away from his mom. she's the only parent he has because his father is absent and Gabe is not actually a parental figure at all but she's also often absent in his life too and that must have left him with such mixed feelings because it's not all black and white! Sally's love protected him but also hurt him. Percy loves his mom so so so much but there's also this deep-seated bitterness and hurt and anger he never let himself feel and then the guilt for having those feelings because his mom loves him he knows that and she gave up so much for him and she married a monster that abused her to protect him, he knows that but it doesn't make it hurt any less. the mess his emotions are because he knows his mom suffered for him and did it from her love for him but he still desperately wishes she never married that monster that he wouldn't have to have the childhood he had with him that he wouldn't have to live with the trauma he was left with. this all is exactly what makes their relationship so fascinating and also heartbreaking.

or the idea of Percy having weird mixed feelings after Estelle is born because that's his little sister and he loves her with his whole heart and would do anything for her and wants only the best for her but there's also this little jealous monster deep down that wonders why she gets to have a loving mom and a loving dad and a happy normal life but he never got that. why does she deserve it but not him? why couldn't he have that too? doesn't he deserve that too? he was just a child too so why why why??? and then the guilt of feeling that way too it makes me want to scream. emotions are fucking messy and they can be really ugly and they can make you hate yourself and there's no way Percy's feelings aren't a mess when it comes to this and i want to see it explored so badly!

and with Sally too! her feelings about Percy because she did so much and tried her best but sometimes unfortunately your best isn't good enough and it still got her beloved son hurt and she hates it and feels so guilty but she just has to live with that but she can't help to wish it was different. that their lives would be different. better. normal. she can't help but to wish she didn't have to do the things she's done, didn't have to suffer so much just to protect her child. can't help to wish she didn't have to worry so much, didn't have to be so scared about Percy, didn't have to be terrified that one day he won't come back home to her, that she won't be able to hold her son anymore because he will be gone, she just wishes he didn't have to suffer so much, she just wishes and wishes and wishes

and i just wish people weren't so afraid to explore this because it's so heartwrenching and yes if you want something do it yourself but unfortunately i cannot write nor am i able to handle this topic in a way it deserves so i am left only with rambling about it on here thank you

[aipurjopa]

love how universal the experience of logging into a minecraft smp with ppl you vaguely know to dick around and then 2 months later you're sitting at your computer with an ache in your chest because your friend just betrayed you and blew up the base you two spent all of winter break grinding together and bonding over and then spawn killed you until your armor broke and then left you for the enemy team and you're genuinely heartbroken over this but also it's just a video game and you gotta lock in and finish your homework

[natjennie]

the middle ground after being a suicidal adolescent is truly fucked up like. okay so I learned that there is love in the world actually and I have grown to appreciate the little moments of beauty in my life and now what. I have to like get a job and feed myself and take my medicine every day and like. function? as an adult? it's like. I care enough about my life now to stop actively harming myself in overt ways but not enough to be responsible or sensible or healthy long term. I'm just exactly depressed enough to be able to find moments of joy, but not enough to believe I deserve them forever, and certainly not enough to be motivated into securing more moments of joy in the future. what the fuck am I supposed to do now.

[wabatle]

i might have to go on hiatus for a while due to mental health issues... i really want to keep writing but every single day has been horrible lately and i've been having panic attacks more lately.

[highschoolstoryliveson]

When Chase gets back home after his year in Europe, he suddenly has to face the same dilemma as Chloe had to when she first joined the school.

Yeah, he has his sister, but suddenly it's not them against the world anymore. On his trip he grew and found the version of himself he knew he wanted to be, but he didn't make any long lasting connections.

Chloe has also changed from the person he was so nervous about leaving behind. From someone so stuck in her shell and desperate to just exist in peace to the leader of the school and everyone's friend until proven otherwise- it's like they don't need each other anymore.

But just when it feels like the world is falling out from under him and he's starting to lash out, he's gently kidnapped by Sakura. She remembers what it was like when she thought that Nishan had left her behind, and how much of a relief it had been to find out that he still wanted her around. After a few rounds of Smash and some gentle bullying, she sends him out to talk to his twin.

[meatmatician]

really want to actually Do Something with my horror story rabies this year. it's been percolating for a little more than a year but i haven't been able to force anything except a vague plot, some characters and 4 playlists out of any of it

[crystalkitty1220]

Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN

[dazzelmethat]

Long time no Bud. Wow the last time I made her a ref was 2018. I experimented some with her pallet. Unsure if I like the profile head but oh well, open mouthed anime inspired profile faces are notoriously hard for a reason.

Sigh. What am I going to do with her.. my writing conundrum workshopping in tags. My tag rant mentions plot related suicide and ableism (in relation to the zombie trope).

[bunnyinatree]

One thing I love about "Frankenstein: A New Musical" is how well it captures the less eventful moments in the original novel that are often left out of adaptations because they're not "interesting" enough, even though they contribute to and establish important themes that are relevant throughout the entire story.

For example, Victor in popular culture is characterized as a mad scientist working alongside his assistant Igor, whereas the original novel makes a compelling case that Victor's isolation is what enabled him to pursue his experiments as far as he did. By spotlighting Victor's idyllic childhood and by emphasizing his individual family members early on, "Frankenstein: A New Musical" maintains the book's emphasis on community and accountability.

Victor only commits scientific atrocities when he doesn't have his support system nearby, and he remains constantly afraid that his loved ones will learn the truth about what he's done. Perhaps that's why Victor destroys the Creature's wife much more decisively than the Creature himself. In the musical, we see Henry interrupting Victor's singing to force him to consider the repercussions of his actions. Compare "Birth to My Creation" to "The Modern Prometheus." In both songs, Victor brings a creature to life; but only when Henry turns the song into a duet does Victor refrain from getting carried away, ultimately choosing to destroy his work before the song's end.

This theme of isolation and community is one of my favorites in the original novel, because it creatures a fascinating parallel between Victor and the Creature. On the one hand, Victor is proof that being alone can cause a person to do terrible things and that friends and family can encourage people to be kinder and to do better than they would otherwise. Yet Victor denies that same fellowship to the Creature and blames him for his lack of morality, in a sense dooming him to a wretched and immoral existence.

"Frankenstein: A New Musical" upholds this theme brilliantly and, in the process, adds nuance to its protagonists: The Creature becomes more sympathetic, while Victor becomes more hypocritical. I love both characters dearly, but neither is without their flaws, and I'm grateful that the musical captures this complexity so well.

[apocalypticdemon]

I am so beyond ready to quit this job. Wednesday cannot come fast enough.

[lieutenantselnia]

Yesterday I've been doing some proper physical exercise for the first time since last year and I'm just imagining how proud my f/os would be of me🥹

[chrisbangs]

hello... (and bye ig 👋)

[abandonshapes]

V wip

[mnty-bubblegmyum]

I dont want to get things confused he said hed never settle for some boy he couldn't use so now I gotta call the doctor so he prescribe me medication so I can deal with all the memories of being here this way

[starlit-miasmas]

every day i think about my high school bio teacher having put karkat fanart into a lesson on punnet squares

every time i have to do anything with punnet squares. i remember this. because that was a goddamn jumpscare. did this man read homestuck. questions i never got the answer to and honestly i dont know if i want