#i don't want to get sepsis
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Cannot sleep because kidneys hurt so bad!!!
#i have had a uti all week and it has been a nightmare getting antibiotics for it!#i called my doctor's office on tuesday and told them HEY I THINK I HAVE A UTI#and in the past they have always been like np just pee in a cup and we'll send it to the lab and start you on meds all in the same day#but not this time#no they made me go to the lab and then wait until the results came back#and then they called on thursday saying you're results were negative you don't have a uti#and i said oh yes i do i have a bunch of symptoms and am in a lot of pain! and they said just drink a lot of water and call back next week#so i made an appointment with the pharmacy bc they can give you antibiotics for utis without a doctor#but then they said they can't because i'm on immunosuppressive drugs which makes it more complicated (fair)#this happened yesterday#but all day yesterday i had twrrible kidney pain which is what i was afraid would happen!!!!!!!!#so i went to urgent care and they did another urine test and FINALLY gave me a prescription for antibiotics (yay!)#but i can't fill it until i get the urine culture results back and they have to be positive so i am cryong in agony#but also guess what#i downloaded the app to look at my test results and saw the results of that first urine culture#and IT'S NOT NEGATIVE#it says SUGGEST REPEAT SPECIMEN COLLECTING AND TESTING IF PATIENT'S SYMPTOMS INDICATE A URINARY TRACT INFECTION#THAT IS NOT A NEGATIVE#so now i'm in so much pain i might not even wait until that second culture resulg comes in i'm just goina to fill that prescription#i don't want to get sepsis#my posts
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What do you think would have happened if (somehow, idk how but somehow) Machete rose to the rank of pope?
To be perfectly honest? I think most realistically he would've ruled maybe six months at best and then keeled over from stress and exhaustion.
#seriously he wouldn't want to be the pope papacy is for chumps but if he had to#he would've kicked out so many cardinals#his former colleagues riddled with corruption nepotism incompetence and moral decay#it would've upsetted so many elite families but what are they gonna do#pope's power is absolute he could totally do that#just excommunicate the whole lot#do something to get Holy See's finances in order he's been crunching numbers they aren't looking good#build sturdier foreign relations probably he's a diplomat I think he'd likely be extremely done with superfluous wars and useless bickering#maybe commission some extravagant artworks art is nice he knows to appreciate beauty when he sees it#become the senselessly rich patron to a handful of top notch artists although I think he already does that in canon timeline#I'm not sure how he'd handle the ongoing counter-reformation I guess it depends whether this was before or after the inquisition times#minimal public appearances because lord that's way too many people too many eyes being a figurehead is not his strongest suit#develop stomach ulcers get sepsis#historically it's actually not very uncommon for popes to expire relatively quickly after they're elected#they don't even have to be particularly old stuff's just tiring they get frazzled out#answered#anonymous#Machete
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you will gently remove your cat's claw from your leg and they will behave like an attempt was made on their life
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where are the books and the movies where the chronically ill or terminally ill person lives? genuinely asking
(see tags. small vent)
#chronic illness#severe illness#hereditary spherocytosis#blood disorder#disability#i can't find any#and then a series i love ended with another chronically ill person dying despite there being a surgery#but they died in surgery after so much hope and love from everyone else around them and it just feels so.. personal#not naming series for potential spoilers#but i used to be terminally ill until i got my surgery#and now im still ill and im no where close to death i hope but i keep getting worse steadily. i have some hope but#why does it always have to end in death for us in media?#where are the movies for us to have hope?#not just achieving with disability but also living and succeeding with horrible illnesses that don't have good outcomes most of the time#sometimes i just feel like the flavor in someone else's story#like just the add on for someone else#where do we find hope?#why do we almost always die in every story?#i've only found one so far#and i've looked everywhere#it's just not very uplifting when so much media shows what can always potentially happen#i just want a happy ending where it's so hard to find in real life for what i fear the outcome could be#POTS syndrome#cptsd#post sepsis syndrome#sepsis#mdd#anxiety#illness#mental illness
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Chapters: 2/4 Fandom: Bleach (Anime & Manga) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Abarai Renji/Kuchiki Rukia Characters: Abarai Renji, Kuchiki Rukia, Kuchiki Byakuya Additional Tags: Pre-Relationship Summary:
“Ryōta Shumayaki is looking to marry off his second daughter. It’s common for nobles to marry younger daughters off to powerful members of the Court Guard Squads when the opportunity arises, in order to increase the family’s overall spiritual power, and you’ve just shown that you’re worth consideration!”
Renji’s brow furrowed.
“That explains the other invitations,” he said after a long moment. Rukia couldn’t help herself-- she burst out laughing again.
#bleach#fanfiction#chapter 2 is heeere#tbqh i want to write an au#where aizen steps on a tack and dies of sepsis before any of the events of the manga occur#and after several years as lieutenant of six renji gets bankai#and byakuya is like hmmmm#and brings him home for dinner to “meet” rukia#rukia is like???#renji is like wait my plan worked??????#and then they fall in love and get married and live happily ever after#characterization-wise this makes no sense but that doesn't mean i don't want it
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Day infinity of my mother reinforcing why I have a personality disorder.
#negative#TLDR she lost her shit at me for daring to rightfully assume she's accusing me of things when that's her default#she ALWAYS does it even in the most menial conversations she's always like ''don't get offended BUT'' with the dumbest shit#and then when I interrupted her as soon as she started and left she accused me of ''running when we have heated debates''#and then proceeded to scream about it to herself for like 5 minutes#if she weren't the sole controller of the money and it wouldn't ruin us financially if she died right now... I shan't say it#3 of her 4 kids have wanted her dead as we grew up and 2 of the 4 still hold to that desire#and it's because 1 of them fucked off to Kansas and cut all contact and realized she missed bumming things off my mother#my older brother and I are so sick of her but we can't leave#like when she was dying of sepsis a few years ago I was the only one to do anything and it was only when I walked by the room#my older brother just closed the door on her and was gonna let her die in there#she took herself to the ER that day and died#but they brought her back#she deserves it she truly does she's ruined our lives in new and creative ways as we've grown up and we can't do a thing about it#since we're all disabled and rely on her as our carer in a state that regularly murders disabled people in the inpatient care facilities#so my older brother and I are doing our best to not kill her ourselves by making her as miserable as possible in return for her ''love''
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Hi guys. Am sick rn, but had wanted to post this before I go and sleep.
Some of you may already know that patreon sent out an update that charges anyone using ios to subscribe to artist's patreons 30% more.
I immediately feel this impact mere hours later, and now, days later. I'm hemorrhaging patrons & have less income. It would mean the while world to me if you guys could please reblog this.
If you use the desktop version or the android app? you will not have to pay 30% more. Needless to say this decision of apple has completely fucked me over months and months to come, unless I somehow make up for my loss by other means.
My patreon is only a dollar a month!
I have around 400 exclusive artwork on it :)
I am working on uploading more art there, and more comics once I am done with my current contract as a comic artist.
I am currently partially homeless- so being alive in general is hard ;y; I wanted to focus more of my work on patreon, until this update- I only have one tier.
I am working as hard as I can, every month ♡ I am also the caretaker of three disabled people- as my dad, who used to do all the housework, is now too sick with a swollen liver that could possibly be connected to his heart problems, and my mama who has limited movement- she "died" of sepsis many years ago after giving birth to my sister, and was revived with nerve damage. I don't know the medical terms, but she was brain dead for however long, and was successfully brought back in a different hospital. She was comatose for months; this event has lead to my family losing everything in hospital bills, our car, our house (literally we became homeless) ah. But long story short, I am the only person in my family who works- as my sister is a teenager, and she is autistic with a very, very low frustration threshold, as she is also a picky eater and still going to school! I'm sorry, many of my followers already know this story by now, I have already doxxed myself multiple times trying to avert crisis after crisis, ahaha. But yes. Patreon added to my cart of Sorrows, and would love to have more folks who aren't using apple, or are using android and the web to come on over and maybe enjoy some of my private art up there. I post around 3-6 art a month, if I am lucky 7. I want to keep making art, and my patreon was what was giving me a semblance of stability until that silly update. Sorry for the long post, and I appreciate everyone helping, reblogging, saying kind words to me, praying for me. G-d bless you all, and stay safe
My patreon:
Direct tipping jar:
My print shop!
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I may not be that squeamish about most things but there's something about earlobes that can make me weirdly dizzy
#specifically my own. haven't thought about other people's tbh#but like that time a few weeks ago when i thought my earlobes had finally healed so i took the earrings out and put some different ones in#and then i slept without any earrings for the first time and the next morning they'd closed again (only on the very outside)#so i was trying to put my old earrings back in and while i was doing it i suddenly went really dizzy and had to like#sit on the sofa but there was a lot of gravity pulling me there#and then i had to go and lie on the bathroom floor bc i felt nauseous as well#and like i've never had that with anything before?#i managed to put the earrings in in the end and i'm not taking them out until it's been at least a year since they got pierced#but anyway yesterday morning my right earlobe (the bane of my life) decided to go all Weird again#it's happened before where it gets into a state and the slightest knock will make it bleed but usually it's not really painful#anyway yesterday morning it was painful and it was bleeding for longer#and now i've been awake for like the past 30 minutes since 1.11am bc the earlobe must've gotten hit and is being dramatic once again#oh and never forget the first time i got them pierced february 2020 when the left earlobe tried to scran the entire earring#and i had to go to a&e and get laughing gas to take it out. which was pretty fun tbf#but only the laughing gas. the rest of the general experience leading up to it was not fun bc i'm a massive hypochondriac and was#convinced i had sepsis#anyway i'm realising I've never had a good relationship with my earlobes. maybe this is them now getting revenge for#whatever happened in 2020. or maybe they just don't like me#maybe they heard me when i was younger say that i never want a tattoo or piercing and they're weren't prepared for the decision change#or maybe they know the kind of fashion crimes i plan to wear in my ears once they heal and they're trying to deter me#either way. stop#i wanna go back to sleep#ramble
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Lately I keep thinking about environmental campaigns since roughly my childhood had to play up rainforests as these bright, shiny, heavenly fairy-tale utopias in order to get people to care about them. But in older media they're like dark, terrifying, brutal primordial deathworlds, the "SAVAGE UNTAMED JUNGLE!!!!" to the point that we still call the same exact thing a "jungle" in media if it's supposed to be more dangerous and exciting, even though there's really no technical distinction there. The reality though is that both are simultaneously true. I keep going on this rant lately but everything scary, painful, disturbing or dangerous about nature IS beautiful and wonderful and awesome!!! It fucking sucks that the majority of people only want to care about nature if they can comfortably hike it in their jorts and their crocs and only care about animal species if they're pretty to look at, useful or cuddle-able. "Rainforests" are absolutely kickass brutal primordial deathworlds. They're beautiful and precious and fantastic but they are also places where leeches will rain down on you from the trees until all your clothes are bloodstained and stinging ants the size of your thumb will make you feel like you're burning to death with a sting and one scratch from that adorable little monkey can torture you to death with sepsis. You'd never even guess, from how rainforests are portrayed on TV, that the thick canopy means they're actually dark as shit 24/7.
We get told piranhas actually aren't scary and that's true! The dreaded candiru is also so unlikely to attack humans we still don't know for sure if it really happens! But you don't hear about the Amazonian catfish, the size of a piranha, and incidentally also sometimes called a "candiru catfish," that convergently evolved with a cookie cutter shark and comes out at night to bite big round scoops of flesh from unsuspecting thighs:
I would love to meet all of these terrible awful things and I want them all to thrive forever and ever. Please love nasty things. We are nasty things. We're the nasty things planet and it rocks.
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The way addicts and chronically ill people are dehumanized is so exhausting
The normalization of this shit in medical and casual settings is genuinely mind boggling. Addicts and disabled people go through so much bullshit. I've dealt with many fucked up doctors when I just needed help
I had a kidney infection, some months back. This is always extremely medically urgent, and I was likely only hours from sepsis. I went to the hospital reporting my pain to be a 9/10. 9 because my 10 was gallstones. I experienced severe malpractice at the hospital and the doctor reported exams that never occured and false information while making me wait with nothing more than tylenol to hold me over (didn't touch the pain) and bring my fever down but that's a whole other story
They did however, deny me the pain medication I needed until it was time to go home. I'm deathly allergic to NSAIDS, but that's something an addict might say so they witheld pain relief because they'd rather me suffer just in case I'm a different kind of sick. An entire night, maybe 6 hours in the ER and they couldn't give me anything, not a small dose of morphine or one norco even a few hours prior to take the edge off of the pain while I was curled up shaking and crying. Just in case I was an addict looking for my fix, and my suffering was just withdrawals and good acting. In that case maybe I deserved it and should be denied my humanity. God forbid in that case I'm so desperate to alleviate unbearable withdrawals that I spend all night in the ER crying. Not the first time I've experienced red tape just to get relief from excruciating pain
But whatever. As per protocol I was asked to follow up with my pcp. So a few days later I called to set an appointment, but I'd also run out of norco and desperate to relieve the pain I asked if I could be filled even enough for a few days, until the pain was bearable. I had difficulty walking, laying down, and I again, can't take most pain relievers. The receptionist was nice and understanding, actually got me in touch with the doctor because she wanted me to be able to get my refill. Probably heard the pain in my voice even. She believed me
She transfers me over to the doctor and I tell him I'd like a follow up and ask if he could fill my painkillers. I would've acceped a no from him, I just needed my follow up. He asked about my condition, I told him my diagnosis and how much pain I was in
And he laughed.
Got a real hoot out of it, like he had me all figured out. Like he caught me trying to cheat the system. I must be trying to get high or make some money with a few days worth of norco as i'm nearly in tears from the pain even while calling
He tells me through his laughter "I don't prescribe painkillers for 'kidney infections'" saying it with a mocking emphasis on those words, as if I'd said "stubbed toe". Follows with "Yeah haha, bye." and hangs up on me. No follow up like I called for. Needless to say I no longer have a pcp but truly if he thought I was an addict trying to take advantage of him he should have still treated me professionally. Maybe not cackled when I said my pain was excruciating for a start
I just don't understand why the hell so many doctors can be so apathetic to people's suffering. Addicts deserve better and so do disabled people- whether you think they're addicts or not. The assumption that we're lying, trying to trick them and are feigning pain to do it is disgusting, listening to your patients is so important. And if that were the case they could have some sympathy and ask themselves what it would take for someone to go those lengths, take such drastic measures and go through that trouble to obtain those substances.
Addiction is not a moral failing. Many disabled and chronically ill people unfortunately rely on medications that have addictive properties. About 80% of heroin addicts first misused prescription drugs. However only about 4-6% of those addicted to prescription drugs switch to things like heroin. And instead of help or compassion for people who just need help (addicts or not), they just figure we're one in the same and treat us like subhuman degenerates, leeches on society. And I think people need to change how they view addiction. Doctors need to change how they view addiction
#cfs#chronic pain#chronic fаtiguе ѕуndrоmе#chronic illness#fibromyalgia#disability#actually disabled#spoonie#me/cfs#cfs/me#ableism#ableism tw#medical ableism#addiction#ok to reblog#medical stuff#tw drugs
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"i don't want to be an organ donor"
conservative pro-lifers: ok
"i don't want to donate my body to science after i die"
conservative pro-lifers: ok
"i don't want to donate my blood at blood drives"
conservative pro-lifers: ok
"i don't want to be pregnant for 9 whole months and go through hours of painful childbirth and risk getting sepsis, a stroke, or potentially die"
conservative pro-lifers: you are selfish scum and are literally going to burn in hell
#bodily autonomy#reproductive rights#reproductive health#reproductive freedom#pro choice#abortion is healthcare#women's rights#feminism
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What is it why happened originally to make you incontinent?
An infection that turned into sepsis. The infection was in a very dangerous place which was my bladder, and to fix the problem I was on an extremely high dose of antibiotics that made me way more sick than anyone expected. A hospital stay which should have only taken a few days, lasted two painful weeks. In my opinion the sepsis (if I even had it) went away but they kept pumping me full of a high dose of antibiotics (amongst other crap) that caused me to get more and more weak. I literally walked into the ER with a headache, and left two weeks later in a wheelchair. If you want to see a scary statistic, look up how many people die a year from malpractice. Anywho, it wasn't until a few weeks after I was recouping when I realized there were residual problems. Meetings with urologists and a million tests later, they tried to claim it was a mental disorder and wanted me to speak with a psychologist. That's when I gave up on the medical system, and just dropped it. Ironically enough after having uti's a couple times a year before, becoming incontinent I've only had 1 uti in the 4 years.
all of this to say, I don't trust doctors anymore lol
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Monsters in the Dark | Nikto x Reader | Cowboy AU
Prologue
Introduction to my fic set within the cowboy AU created by @ghouljams for our dear boy Nikto. This is just a quick starter piece to set the scene for the fic so to say. Also decided to include Sputnik since I don't see many fics including the precious baby!
A/N: Obligatory note that I do not condone the owning of dangerous or wild exotic animals as pets regardless of a country or state's laws. Exotic animals require a large amount of knowledge in their husbandry and specific requirements to ensure the highest standard of welfare is maintained. They should never be treated like domestic animals, they do not make good pets.
Warnings: Discussion of Serious Injury, Limb Amputation.
Masterlist: CoD Masterlist
Next Part
Nikto had been waiting for death to greet him throughout the entirety of his career. It was simply an inevitable fact of life both in the military and working as a mercenary for hire. People died constantly at his sides, and it quickly became a question of “when” and not “if” the final string would be cut and his body would fail him for the last time.
There were days when he almost wished for the reaper to claim whatever remained of his empty heart. Torture was tolerable, an old friend at this point, but the months and years of recovery afterwards were what really felt like suffering.
Alive, and yet completely useless. A fractured mind trapped within an equally ruined body.
The only thing he could look forward to was getting back to work once his body was finally strong enough to pass medical approval. Tedious as the waiting game could be, he wasn’t stupid enough to push himself beyond his limits like some honour-hungry rookie. No, he waited and saved his strength for when it would one day be needed, for the days when nothing but sheer willpower can save his pitiful soul.
And yet despite his many brushes with death, he had still yet to be taken by it, even when by all rights he should have been. Death yet remained a stranger.
But why? Was his mind too corrupt and darkened for even the devil to want to touch? He had never believed in any God, but surely there was one looking down on him and mocking his pathetic existence. How else could he have survived an injury that should have killed him?
He could remember little of the mission, only the sounds of people shouting orders, the potent scent of smoke and chemicals in the air, and pain. Certainly not the worst pain he’d experienced in his life, a blade to the gut still had the honour of that, but close to it. He was fortunate that the concussion he’d received had left him drifting in and out of unconsciousness for most of the trip back to base.
His arm was fucked. According to the doctor and the reports from various other operators present on the mission, his elbow was bent in a way it definitely shouldn’t have been, and there was enough shrapnel in the remaining flesh that he might as well have lopped the whole thing off entirely.
Which is exactly what the doctors ended up doing.
It was their last resort, but with the complete lack of feeling in the limb coupled with an infection that just couldn’t be stamped out no matter how many antibiotics they pumped into his IV, it was necessary. They tried as hard as possible to save it, but necrosis had set in, and the safest course of action was to remove all damaged and dead tissue.
He still wasn’t sure what would have been worse, being taken out by sepsis, or dealing with his current existence.
And what a miserable existence it is.
KorTac wanted to keep him on – surely, they couldn’t just let a wild beast like him roam free without a firm hand on his leash – but there was very little they could offer for him. Stay with the PMC and become a glorified guard dog? Train bratty little recruits? Sit behind a desk pushing papers nine to five? No, that would destroy what little grasp he still had on his sanity.
That was how he ended up standing on the rundown porch of a house that could be described in a single word as dilapidated. It was cheap but came with enough land for him to not need to worry about nosy neighbours. He’s so far lacked the motivation to do anything to try and restore the building, but it has four walls and a roof, which is more than can be said for some of the “safe” houses he’s utilised over the years.
He’d been lucky to discover the place at all with how small the town is. A passing comment from a fellow soldier about the region had caught his attention and, considering the impossibility of returning to Russia, he’d decided to look into it. America was a massive continent, and in the US he wouldn’t be questioned for owning weapons. Even better? This particular state allowed him to continue to keep Sputnik without suspicion.
The old man who had been selling the house had been sympathetic after he’d played the whole “injured veteran” card and had even offered him a reduced price for the property. It still sickens him to think about how weak he must have looked in that moment, but needs must, and what he needed was a place to call home, even if only for a little while.
One terrible accident and he’s reduced to begging for help like a stray dog wanting scraps.
His irritation has the hand of his prosthetic curling gently into the fur of Sputnik’s pelt. All it can do is open and close around things to allow him some form of grip, but it works, and he supposes that’s all that matters. His girl doesn’t seem to care that it’s not a flesh and blood hand petting her, leaning into him regardless.
She’s the centre of his current predicament and the reason he’s been forced to reach out for help. No amount of puppy dog eyes and wide grins sent his way are enough to save her from a trip to the vet. Or rather, a visit from one.
He waits patiently as a large car rolls down the gravel road that leads to the small house from the property’s front gate. Sputnik whines as it draws closer, before beginning to laugh with nervous excitement. The moment the vehicle pulls to a stop she moves to investigate, but is quickly stopped with a barked, “МЕСТО!” command from Nikto.
Sputnik huffs, unimpressed with not being allowed to greet their visitor, but settles for sitting at the top of the stairs while her master approaches.
In all honesty, Nikto had been expecting a grizzled old man or woman with decades of experience under the belt when the receptionist had promised to send someone with knowledge of exotics. What he wasn’t expecting was... you.
#writing#fanfic#call of duty modern warfare#reader insert#call of duty nikto#nikto x reader#cowboy au
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Mission save the human race pt.4
Previous part next part
TW: Breeding kink, Rough sex , Smut, degrading
Before you could realize what was happening, Simon had already grabbed you and carried you down to the room where Johnny was. He was faster with you in his hands than you could be on your own.
You thought he was getting better. He lay in the bed, uncovered, his body glistening full of sweat, and he was shaking. Fever, possible sepsis—fuck, fuck.
You dont have any medication to save him from sepsis - if that were the case. You could stop a fever with your trinkets and the medication you prepared. Hell, you could try this natural healing stuff your grandma swore by, but you are fucked right now, and Johnny too. You can't panic; you need to stay calm for Simon's sake and his friend's sake. They'd make your attempts to save Johnny even worse if they knew how overwhelmed you are right now.
"Cold water, towels, onions, and Paracetamol now." Simon immediately ran down, gathering all the things you would need to save Johnny.
"What the fuck?" Kyle questioned.
"I don't have anything better. As long as none of you are ready to raid a hospital now, this must do the job," I screamed at him.
"Where is the nearest hospital?" John asked.
"16 miles away."
"We will be back in a day. What do you need?"
"Paracetamol, Morphine, Tylenol, gloves, new surgical equipment, as many disinfection wipes or solutions as you can get, new bandages, everything you can get."
"Yes, ma'am," Alex chanted.
The boys left the house in minutes, fully equipped with gear. If you weren't so focused on Johnny's safety, you'd notice the ache between your legs as soon as you saw them with your gear and how Kyle kissed you goodbye with so much passion.
"Gathered the stuff." Simon came up with all the things in his bulky arms. You took the towels and soaked them in cold water, putting them on his muscular legs. Simon watched every movement, making sure you saved his Johnny.
"It's just a fever, probably, and John went away with the others to gather some stuff from a nearby hospital."
"I can't lose him."
"I know."
You repeated that procedure for over an hour until his fever went down. He was still a bit drowsy, but he was safe.
"You saved him again."
"I did."
------------------------------------
Two days later, Johnny was as healthy as he could be. He still slept a lot, but he woke up more often. And he was a pain in the ass; he never took his medication and always flirted with you, telling you that you're a pure angel and that he can't wait to finally be on his feet again. And how the others wouldn't be able to put some cubs in you like he could.
You would be lying to yourself if you said you weren't charmed by him. He made butterflies pop up in your stomach, and when you saw him kissing Simon, it was over for you. You wanted both so badly. The others still haven't returned from their raid, so you lay on the couch with Ghost, reading a book; he gave you one of his shirts to wear around the house.
"Can we cuddle a bit? It's getting cold in here."
"Sure, go ahead," he replied, sitting back down on the couch. He patted the spot next to him, indicating for you to join him. As you curled up against him, he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer. "What are you reading?" His eyes glistened with interest. You waited years for someone to be interested in you, and now you had five men—well, seven—but you didn't meet the other two, who were completely interested in you.
"Just a romance novel," you replied shortly. You knew it was a bit steamy, but you didn't want to tell him.
"Ah, I see. Well, make sure you share the juicy parts with me," Simon teased. He leaned his head against yours and started to flip through the pages of the book. "This isn't too bad," he commented after a few minutes. "Oh, do you like these things?" He pointed to a passage where the male spanked the woman, and you couldn't stop blushing; of course, you liked that.
"No, it's embarrassing when you read it. Stop, Simon."
Simon chuckled and closed the book, setting it down on the coffee table. "Alright, alright, I was just trying to be nice," he said, pretending to be hurt by your response. He leaned back onto the couch, letting out a content sigh.
You leaned against him, burying your face in his pecks. You lingered in his smell; he smelled fantastic, like sandalwood and pine. You inhaled his scent and sighed contentedly.
Simon's eyes closed as you buried your face in his chest. He could feel his heart racing and his breath becoming short. This wasn't supposed to happen, he told himself. But the warmth of your body against him, the softness of your skin—it was all too much.
"Si, do you think we are alone for a long time?" You wondered when the others would come back.
Simon opened his eyes and looked down at you. "Honestly, I don't know," he said quietly. "We could be here for hours, or we could be interrupted at any moment." He reached out and gently brushed a strand of hair away from your face.
"You saw Alex and me, didn't you?"
"Yes"
"He made me feel good," he did; in fact, he made you feel desired. Every one of them did, but in different ways, but you still weren't sure about Simon. He loved Johnny, and even if both of them desired you, they had each other. Maybe they just wanted to use you as an incubator to get them a child, but nothing more. Alex at least gave you the feeling of truly respecting you, while Price worshiped the ground you walked on. Johnny was amazed by your appearance, but Simon awakened a lust in you.
Simon frowned at your comment. "Alex made you feel good?" he asked, trying to keep his voice even. "Is that why you went to him instead of me?" He sounded jealous. How did they agree on sharing you when all of them were so possessive and jealous all the time?
"No, look, I'm just sometimes not sure if you see me like that. In one moment, you're cuddling me, and in the other moment, you glare at me like I'm some scum."
Simon sighed heavily, knowing he'd messed up. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "I don't mean to treat you like that. It's just... sometimes I get frustrated and take it out on you." He paused for a moment.
"I can understand that with Johnny's injury, it took a toll on you."
"Yeah, well, that's no excuse," Simon said with a frown. "I should be able to handle my emotions better than that." He paused for a moment before reaching out to gently squeeze your hand.
"Did you like how I took good care of him?"
Simon hesitated before speaking. "It was nice of you to help him, but I wish I would have been able to be as useful as you," he said eventually.
"You aren't useless. I'm useless. I can't even use a fucking gun," you admitted.
"Yeah, well, things are complicated," Simon admitted. He squeezed your hand again before letting go and standing up. "I'm gonna go take a shower or bath or whatever you call this."
"It would be good in times like this to save some water," you said cheekily, sounding like a fucking man on Tinder. You needed to improve your flirting skills.
Simon rolled his eyes but couldn't help the small smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Alright, smartass," he muttered under his breath before heading into the bathroom to clean himself.
You were thinking of joining him, but you didn't want to intrigue him or make him uncomfortable.
You thought about using the short alone time you had to acknowledge the ache between your legs. You slowly started to remove the lingerie under his oversized shirt and rub your clit. It felt so good; you missed Alex's touch and John's. You needed them all.
You started to finger yourself, pumping your short fingers in and out in frustration since they didn't reach the right spot. You were so concentrated on getting the slightest bit of satisfaction that you didn't notice him joining the room again.
Your one hand was pinching your hardened nipple, the other fingering your sweet spot, your back ached, and you noticed how you got closer to the sweet release you needed: "Fuck Simon, fuck me."
Simon couldn't help but chuckle at the sight before him. You were so caught up in your pleasure that you didn't even notice he was there. He stepped closer, his hard-on tenting his towel, as he watched you pinch your nipple and finger yourself.
"Mhm, fuck," you whined as you slipped in another finger. The sound of your moan and the sight of your fingers sliding in and out of your moist folds sent a shudder of desire through him. You were so wet and eager for release; it made him want to pull you up for a rough fuck.
He slowly started to stroke himself. The sight of his shirt coated in your juices only made him harder. He loved the thought of you being so turned on by him that you couldn't help but cum all over his clothes. "Mmm, you're such a dirty little slut."
"What? Oh god, Simon, how long are you watching?" you said, removing your fingers that were coated from your throbbing core in embarrassment. In all your years alive, you had never been caught masturbating before.
"Long enough to see you get yourself off," Simon smirked in response, his voice laced with amusement. The smell of your arousal, mixed with the steam from the shower, was driving him wild. His cock twitched at the thought of being buried deep inside you.
"Oh fuck, I'm so sorry, I was just so woken up."
"Don't apologize," Simon said, his voice low and rough. He stepped closer, his towel dropping to the floor as he revealed his erect cock. "I quite enjoyed watching you pleasure yourself."
You swallowed as you saw his hard-on. When you thought John was big, you were wrong. Simon was massive; he had at least 9 inches. How was this even possible? He was deliciously curved with an oh my god, is that a piercing?
"Oh god, it's fucking big. How does that fit in someone?" he just smirked before replying.
"I'll make sure it fits perfectly inside you," Simon replied, a sinister grin spreading across his face. He walked towards you, his massive cock bobbing with each step.
"Now, why don't you take care of that for me?"
You glided down on your knees in front of him, licking all over his tip and savoring his delicious pre cum "Oh god, I love your piercing down there."
Simon let out a low groan as you began to worship his cock, your tongue flicking over the piercing at the tip. "Yes, I have one," he said, his voice thick with desire. "Now suck on it and show me how much you want my cock inside you."
"Will it hurt if you fuck me?" You couldn't deny the fear of his dick splitting you in half.
"It might initially, but trust me, it'll feel fantastic," Simon replied, running his fingers through your hair. His other hand gripped your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. "I promise I'll take it slow and make sure you're ready for my cock."
You slowly wrapped your mouth around his cock, trying to fit it all in your sweet mouth, but it was too big. You almost gagged, and tears fell on your beautiful cheeks from the sudden loss of air.
Simon couldn't help but chuckle as he watched you struggle to take his cock in your mouth. "You're doing great, baby girl," he said, pulling back slightly. "Just take it slow and try not to choke."
You slowly bobbed your head up and down, and his tip hit your throat. Simon couldn't help but let out a moan as you bobbed your head up and down his shaft. The feeling of your soft lips and warm tongue wrapped around him was driving him wild. "Fuck, that feels good," he muttered, reaching down to stroke your hair gently.
Simon's hips began to thrust involuntarily as you continued to suck on his cock, your moans vibrating against his shaft. He gripped your hair tighter, pulling you away from him slightly. "Fuck, Babygirl, you're killing me."
You grabbed his balls and squeezed them in a teasing manner.
Simon groaned deeply, feeling the pleasure shoot through his body. "God, that's it," he murmured, pushing into your mouth again as you began to stroke his balls gently. "You're such a naughty little slut." The mixture of degradation and praise made you go crazy.
You bobbed your head faster, and Simon's moans turned into grunts as you took him deeper into your mouth, the head of his cock brushing against the back of your throat. His hips bucked forward, pushing against your face as he lost control. "I'm going to cum," As he felt his orgasm approaching, Simon gripped your hair tighter, pulling you away from his cock just enough for him to slide it out of your mouth. "Swallow," he commanded, his voice dark and demanding.
You swallowed it, but it was way too much; it ran down from the curve of your lips to your perfect breasts, making you look like a painting.
Simon watched as you swallowed his cum, a mix of satisfaction and pride filling him up. He admired the sight of it running down your breasts, making them glisten in the dim light. "That's my good girl," he praised, reaching out to cup one of your breasts. He scoped the cum from your nipples, putting it in your mouth.
He smirked as he watched you clean his fingers with your tongue, enjoying the taste of his cum. "You're such a dirty little slut," he said, his voice low and seductive. "But I love every fucking second of it."
"I'm not a slut; I'm a good girl," you protested.
Simon raised an eyebrow at your comment. "Is that so? Then why are you sucking my cock and letting me cum all over your face and tits?" he asked, his tone full of sarcasm. "Sounds like slutty behavior to me."
"Because I'm a good girl, and good girls satisfy their men."
Simon couldn't help but chuckle at your response. "Well, I guess that makes sense," he admitted, his grip on your breast tightening slightly. "You're a good girl when it comes to pleasing me."
"Can you maybe return the favor?" you asked shyly.
Simon grinned at your request. "Of course, baby girl," he said, reaching down to stroke your pussy. "You've been such a good girl for me today; I think it's only fair that I return the favor."
He admired the sight of your wet pussy, glistening in the dim light. "Fuck, you're so fucking sexy," he growled.
"I need your tongue there, please."
With a devilish grin, Simon leaned down and teased your sensitive folds with his tongue. "You want my tongue, huh?" he asked before pushing past your entrance and thrusting his tongue deep inside you. Simon chuckled at your moan as he continued to lick and probe your tight little pussy. He loved the way you responded to him, especially when you begged for more. "That's it, baby," he whispered between licks.
"Fuck Simon, so good."
Simon loved hearing you moan his name. It only fueled his desire for you more. With one hand on your hip, he used the other to slide two fingers inside you, finding your G-spot and massaging it while his tongue continued to lap at your pussy like a hungry dog. "That's right, baby," Simon growled against your wet folds. "You like that? You want more?"
He picked up the pace, his fingers thrusting deeper inside you as he sucked harder on your clit.
"Yes, please, more feels so good."
He grinned at your enthusiastic response. "Good girl," he praised you, sliding his fingers in and out of you while still working your clit with his tongue. "You're so wet for me. You taste so fucking divine."
"Please Si"
"Please, what, baby?" Simon asked, lifting his head to look down at you with a smirk. "You want to feel even better?" He asked, sliding his fingers deeper inside you before circling his thumb around your hard, swollen clit.
"Make me cum, please. Simon's thumb began to rub circles around your clit, making you squirm beneath him.
"Cum for me, baby girl," he demanded, his voice rough and full of desire. "I want to see you lose control." You came on his tongue, screaming, whining, and shaking. Simon felt you tighten around his fingers as your orgasm hit, and he couldn't resist sucking harder on your clit to milk every last drop of pleasure from you.
He loved the way you screamed and whined, your body shaking with the intensity of your release.
"Stop Stop it too much."
Simon smirked as he felt your walls clenching around his fingers, knowing that you were on the brink of squirting. "Go ahead, baby," he encouraged you. "Let it all out for me."
"Mhm, fuck Simon too much."
Simon chuckled as you begged him to stop, but he couldn't resist the urge to push you further. With one hand, he gently pressed against your belly to make it even worse, while he continued to stimulate your clit with the other. "You like being controlled?"
You tried to move your legs away, pushing them together, not wanting to lose control.
Simon watched as you tried unsuccessfully to move your legs away. He smiled cruelly at your futile efforts before tightening his grip on your thighs. "I think you need to learn who's really in charge here," he growled.
Simon relished in the power he had over you as he brought you to yet another orgasm. He could see the pleasure and frustration warring on your face, and it only fueled his desires. "Do you like feeling so helpless?"
"Yes, Simon," you whined, enjoying his dominant behavior.
"Good girl," Simon praised you, his voice thick with satisfaction. He continued to tease you, pressing his fingers inside you just a little bit deeper each time, seeking out any remaining pleasure centers within your tight little pussy.
He started to place small slaps on your abused clit.
"Ahh, fuck."
Simon moaned as he felt your walls clench around his fingers. The combination of pleasure and pain from your reactions was addictive. He couldn't help but increase the intensity of both, slapping your clit harder with each passing moment. With a hard slap, you came a fifth time, squirting all over his face - coating him completely, and the couch under you,
He let out a low growl of satisfaction as he felt your pussy clenching tightly around his fingers one last time before releasing them from their grip.
"I'm sorry," you said.
"Don't apologize," Simon murmured, his gaze lingering on you. "That was fucking beautiful; you taste like pure heaven."
You looked at his throbbing dick, reaching for it.
Simon saw the look in your eyes and grinned, wrapping his hand around his throbbing erection. "You want more?" he asked, already knowing the answer. "You're such a greedy little slut," he teased you before guiding his cock to your entrance. You winced as he put it inside you, inch for inch.
"I know it's big, but you can take it," Simon grunted, his eyes locked on yours as he began to pound into you. The head of his cock hit your cervix with each powerful stroke, filling you.
You were so tight around him that it felt like heaven itself was wrapped around his shaft.
Feeling your legs wrap around his hips, Simon groaned low in pleasure. The sensation of being so tightly held while he thrust into you was exquisite. He reached down between your bodies, his fingers finding their way to your clit.
"No too much, Si."
Simon couldn't help but laugh at your attempts to pull him out. "I told you it was going to be big," he teased, slamming himself into you harder. His hand on your clit moved faster, his fingers tracing over the sensitive nub.
"Hurts so good," you admitted.
"You like pain, then?" Simon growled, his face twisted with lust and anger. With one last hard push, he buried himself deep within you, as far as he could go. "Say it, you fucking slut. Tell me you love it."
"I love it when you're rough with me, Si," you moaned. He felt like heaven and hell at the same time inside of you. His big cum-loaded balls hit your ass all over again, leaving his mark on you.
"Fuck yes, you do," Simon hissed, grabbing your hips and slamming himself into you over and over again. His fingers on your clit were relentless, rubbing in circles to drive you closer to the edge. "I'm going to fuck you until you can't walk straight," Simon warned, his voice low and rough. He pulled out of you with a wet pop and spun you around, pushing you on all fours and arching your back.
Simon slammed himself into you from behind, his hands gripping your hips as he thrust into you with all his strength. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room, and he could feel you clenching around him, trying to keep up with his powerful strokes.
Simon's fingers dug into your hips as he pounded into you, his breathing becoming ragged. "You like that?" He asked roughly, knowing the answer well. "You love it when I take you hard and rough, don't you?"
"Yes Si"
Simon's pace quickened, his movements becoming more frantic as he reached the edge of release. He leaned down and bit your shoulder, growling incoherently as he felt himself about to cough. "Your pussy is so fucking tight."
As you begged him for more, Simon's cock throbbed even harder, the head hitting your cervix with each powerful thrust. He grabbed your hair and pulled your head back, exposing your neck to his hungry mouth. "No one took me so good as you did."
"Mhm, fuck, best cunt you ever had?"
Simon grunted as he felt himself about to explode inside of you. "Best cunt I ever fucking had," he growled into your ear, kissing you all over your neck.
"Mhm, Si, please fill me up."
He smiled, his teeth bared in a devilish grin. "You want my baby in your belly?" he asked, his voice a low growl. For the first time, you betrayed yourself and nodded. You wanted his fucking baby and nothing more than it.
"I'm going to fuck a baby inside of you." Simon's thrusts became even more powerful, his hips slamming into yours as he felt himself reach the peak of pleasure. "You're going to be a Riley," he growled, feeling his cock twitch and throb inside you as he filled you with his seed.
As you both came together, Simon's seed mixed with your sweet nectar. He continued to push his cum over and over again into your cervix, lifting your legs, not allowing one drop to escape before he impregnated you.
After he turned soft, He pulled out of you and collapsed on the couch, panting heavily as he watched his thick, white cum drip from your pussy onto the fabric.
You couldn't stop laughing as you saw his cum dripping from your fucked-out core.
Simon grinned at you, his eyes glinting playfully. "You think that's funny?" He asked, reaching over to give you a light swat on the ass. "Just wait until we have to deal with a tiny little mini-me running around."
"Oh god, that will be hell." You laughed, but somehow you wanted this baby to be his. It was selfish; he had Johnny, and you were only a tool for him.
"You know you aren't a slut; I just thought you liked the degrading," he kissed you on your forehead and then down to your nose, to your plump lips.
"I loved it."
"You look sad for someone who had six orgasms."
"It's just that sometimes I feel like an incubator for all of you, not like a person." Small tears escaped your eyes, and you felt pathetic. You should have said this to Alex and not to Simon.
"Oh, baby girl, you aren't. The captain is smitten with you. Gaz is obsessed with every word you say. Alex made love to you. And Johnny and I look. I know we're a couple, but we are Poly, and we don't want to have just your baby. All Johnny talks about is the sweet angel who saved him. You are important, and I'm sorry if I made you feel that way." Your heart swells at his words.
"You made me feel amazing, Si."
"And I will continue, baby girl, and now on your belly, let me give you a massage. You deserve it after taking it like a champ."
#cod#cod mw2#cod x reader#cod mwii#tf 141#call of duty#tf 141 x reader#john price#smut#captain john price#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#ghost fanfiction#ghost#ghost cod#simon riley#john mactavish x reader#john soap mactavish#johnny#kyle gaz x reader#kyle gaz garrick#gaz x reader#alex keller x reader
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GRRM is basically the author equivalent of those Hollywood "Let's put a muddy grey and brown filter on every movie in a "realistic" medival setting." and treat it like historical fact. DESPITE ALL FUCKING HISTORICAL PROOF TO THE CONTRARY OF THAT DREARY ASS BEIGE MOM BULLSHIT. Seems that he plays heavily on the realism, and praises himself with how realistic his setting is. How thought through his lore building is, and his research. But he's little more than a grey and mud filter on history himself.
(The most annoying kind of writers, those that praise themselves for how good and great they are, and get an even bigger head from their fanbase.) The writing can be really good, but the crux of the issue Imo is that claim of being so much more educated about the real life scenarios they're writing, especially when they're blatantly not.
Also, just personally I feel like too many people think that the only realism in these settings should be "Dude cuts himself on a thorn bush, then miserably dies from sepsis." (Which often isn't even realistic, instead it's "hyper realism" the worst possible outcome from a tiny cut.) But personally, smallest sample group ever I know, I don't want a character dying from sepsis from a small thorn cut. When I personally ask for realism I want real sword terminology and real sword types, not the swiss army knives from games like Final fantasy. (Those are good too, but some times you just want a simple and good two hander.) I want the proper name for different articles of clothing. I want realistic and existing fighting styles described. I want to read about job occupations that existed back then. Especially when the setting leans heavily on fantasy as well, it can be a cool way to explore realism and fantasy.
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This will be the only time I speak on politics on THIS blog. I stand with Palestine but I do not stand by people who think my rights aren't important. Mine, as a woman, will be stripped away because of Trump being in office. If I got pregnant right now, I'd die from having a miscarriage because the doctor would refuse to perform surgery.
And I'm embarrassed to even be remotely in the same sentence as "white women failed us." 52% of the vote?! 20% of registered Democrats refused to vote because "A vote for Kamala means you support genocide." No, we were trying to preserve the rights we had rather than vote for a man who is a racist, fascist, homophobic, and a rapist. Let's also mention the fact that he is a felon. That is the man who will be sitting in office and if you think he's going to help Palestine, he's not.
"Oh well, you should've just voted third-party or not at all." No. The US is not built for a third-party system. They never win a certain percentage of the popular vote and they are denied Federal Funding. Not voting is also worse. It helps put Trump in office which is exactly what happened when millions of registered voters didn't exercise their right.
"Well, Kamala has been Vice President for 4 years." Do you know what the VP does? Their role is to break tie votes in the Senate. They also prercide over impeachment trials, presiding over electoral vote counts, successor to the President, and acting President. They are also a governing partner, a representative at events, a congressional liaison, and a national security council member. All those things don't involve foreign policy.
And as a white woman who voted for Kamala, I mean this with my whole fucking chest, i don't wanna hear white women MAGA supporters complaining about how they're not getting the healthcare they need after their daughter, sister, aunt, or life long friend dies of sepsis because the doctor refused to perform surgery and save her life. I feel for the women having to go through that. But you, who voted for that, who WANTED that, well that's your bed and you get to lie in it. Don't look to my white ass asking for help because you can't afford the funeral expenses. Don't come to me looking for sympathy. I'll have sympathy for your daughter, who probably could've lived but you stripped that right away from her because you had to stand on being pro-life. I will not help you.
#politics#us politics#kamala harris#trump supporters can get the hell off my page#and anyone who thinks that i can't care about my rights as a woman#and believes it's selfish
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