#i don't want my life to serve any purpose really. i think that would imply i'm a part of something and exist only in relativity to it. yk?

[myurch]

What's the purpose of your life?

what i should say is "making others happy" or "to make the world a better place" or something

but idk. i'm a selfish fucker. my life serves no purpose. i just try to chase things that make me feel good, and when it feels like nothing can make me feel good, i go on anyway. as long as you're alive, there's a possibility to become the world's happiest person. some day. no matter how small, it's still there.

[yinyuedijun]

end notes for zero-sum game (tw: slavery, sexual abuse)

hi if you're here it means you read my deranged aventurine smut. thank you for reading that abomination lmao I hope you enjoyed it 😭 once again I've touched on really sensitive topics and don't want to be misread so I'm writing some disclaimers/explanations below:

In the act of gambling with human stakes, as well as doing business with human traffickers, Aventurine is essentially himself engaging in human trafficking. This is not something he particularly enjoys doing or wishes to exploit (which I did try to indicate in the narrative); he only does this for his role with the IPC. 

The reason I made this a narrative about human trafficking is not because I wish to glamorize this crime. I framed the narrative this way because I wanted to point out how Aventurine actively perpetuates the kind of capitalistic violence that ruined his life by being a Stoneheart. This is something that is implicit in the game but not openly explored, hence I expanded on it here.

Somewhat thematically related: the reader actively engages in self-objectification—using it neutrally as a tool for their espionage work at times, but also positively in order to eroticize their one-sided and exploitative relationship with Aventurine. This was not intended to condone the objectification of human beings; rather, I wanted to show how a lifetime of sexual objectification and extreme dehumanization as a slave has led them to objectify and dehumanize themselves, sometimes even in the capacity of enjoying it. 

Aventurine in canon similarly engages in self-objectification and dehumanization as a trauma response  (i.e. he refers to himself as a chip in a positive manner, clearly as a reaction to how his owner referred to him callously as a chip when he was a slave), though in my opinion he's not really implied to derive any real joy from the idea.

Related to the point of objectification: Aventurine and the reader clearly do not engage in particularly safe, sane or consensual sexual dynamics (specifically referring to how he started undressing them before they fully consented to public sex and just kind of decided what to do with them without prior discussion). This is not because I think this is acceptable behaviour; it is a reflection of their unequal power dynamic that the reader actively encourages and Aventurine is fine with perpetuating. It is also implied to be the result of his own distorted relationship with sex—he has literally been coerced into doing exactly the same thing in the very same establishment, and assumed that the reader would be fine with doing it too because they generally enjoy it when he exercises "ownership" over them, which they both associate with sexual control for traumatic reasons.

I've seen discourse around the fandom where people interpret the act of kissing Aventurine’s commodity code as a purely sexual or fetishizing action. I thus feel compelled to explain that the act of Aventurine and reader kissing each other’s codes in this story served a specific purpose within the wider narrative about dehumanization. I wrote a lot of things in this fic purely because I was ungodly levels of horny for Aventurine (lol), but those particular actions actually had narrative weight lol 

With all this being said, I hope it is clear that the reason I chose to focus on themes of slavery and dehumanization is not because I intend to promote or glamorize them, but because I wanted to explore specific points of Aventurine’s characterization that exist in canon. The theme of sexual abuse (and its psychological fallout) is also something that is a natural extension of his story arc in canon. I have no wish to perpetuate any of these things, and I have faith that my audience can distinguish fiction from reality and thus will not have their perspectives on real life issues be seriously influenced by my dumb horny fic on tumblr dot com. 

Also I should hope this is obvious but do not use your regular everyday gloves to finger someone! I like to imagine that Aventurine’s expensive science fiction gloves has the incredible ability to remain sterile in everyday circumstances 👍

[sometipsygnostalgic]

Likable vs Complex vs "Good"

EDIT: Couple people came up to me thinking of alternatives for category 3 "Good" and my favourite is Kimberly's suggestion of "effective". I think "effective" is great because it means well utilized. It's pretty much exactly what I was going for when writing the descriptions in this post.

I feel that when it comes to describing characters, there are strong differences between a

Likable character - Someone you enjoy watching, like to have on screen, might want to share a drink with. Most protagonists. Usually a blorbo with a mass fandom who says they were done wrong if theyre a side character.

Complex character - how many layers does this one have? how much do you have to talk about them to explain them? Do you see people defending them with massive text posts? Do you follow this blog? You have experience with complex characters.

"Good" character - I don't mean a good person. That is more of a "likable" characteristic. I mean, does this character serve a solid role in the story? Do they have a job, and do they perform it well? This can include minor characters you don't care for, and it can actually exclude complex characters if their motivations don't seem to make sense or have relevance to the story.

I think a "good" character can be further broken down into subcategories but it's impossible to define whether a character is good by a basic description for all series. It requires comprehension of the source material and what it's trying to do.

Allow me to illustrate this with some examples.

I was considering what show to use for this. Let's go with She-Ra for now because it's my current thing and I don't want to be roasting SU or Owl House, and I think Adventure Time is a bad fit due to how episodic it is. I'd have to categorise by season for each example. Let me know if you want me to talk about any specific characters.

Sea Hawk

Likable: Yes Complex: No Good: No

Sea Hawk is a side character in She-Ra who gets kinda sidelined. He hasn't got much to do with anything but he makes me smile when he shows up. I don't think Sea Hawk has a purpose other than to make chaotic background noise. I think that's fine? But he's not a good character and the show would lose almost nothing if he was gone.

Edit: I feel kinda bad for implying sea hawk is not a good character so remember that I mean he isn't used effectively, he doesn't have much involvement and presence. I think a key example is his absence from season 5 entirely when he could have been used more effectively and wasn't.

Light Hope

Likable: Not really Complex: Not really Good: YES

Light Hope is Adora's mentor as She-Ra who is actually manipulating her. Light Hope has a tragic story that adds to her complexity but she's deeply overshadowed by other characters in the story.

What makes her a good character is how strongly Light Hope ties to the themes of the story. Her reveal as being "actually evil" could have been shallow and bad in a different series (anyone else playing Halo recently?) but Light Hope having her agency stolen from her, just like Adora, makes it liberating and heartbreaking when she is destroyed alongside the Sword of Protection.

Light Hope represents the oppressive regime of the First Ones and the ways they would control Etheria, while being a victim herself. She heavily parallels Adora. She does not require being complex or likable to have an important impact on the story.

Micah

Likable: Yes Complex: Yes proportional to screentime Good: Not consistently

I really like Micah. He's one of my favourite side characters. So why can I not call him a good character?

It's because he only serves to drive the actions of others, and when he is onscreen as an actual character, the show doesn't know what to do with him.

Micah was "dead" for most of the show and his life and death drove the decisions of plenty of others. He learnt from Shadow Weaver and was an important part of her corruption arc, being better at magic than her but scared away by the dark magic, which ended up attacking her. His disappearance is why Angella and Glimmer's relationship is so strained, why Glimmer is so determined to prove herself, and when he was in the Portal World, both characters had to give up the "wrong future" with him to restore the world.

Micah has a character with way more depth than you'd expect from a dead dad. He has a funny likable personality and is a highly skilled mage with a variety of relationships, who has survived on an island for god knows how long.

However, this kind of speaks to him being the protagonist of his own story, and She-ra is so chock full of characters aiming to a specific goal. Micah actually being alive has very little to do with the story of season 5. He isn't part of the space mission. He has an episode with Frosta, another character who has little to do with anything, and then he gets chipped for the rest of the show.

The reason Micah ended up this way is because he's a complex character in a story that has no room to do anything with him. He's not the only victim of season 5's crunch time, far from it, but he never got any screentime or "arc" and his actions don't tie in to the show very much.

Glimmer

Likable: No Complex: Yes Good: Yes

Edit: I'm guessing this one was what got me flack? But Glimmer is easily in my top 3 favourite characters and imo she is the character i by far most greatly resemble. I used her here because I think she's a much more interesting example of a disliked yet very well written character than Catra for this post. But it's evident, if you look at the fandom behaviour, casual viewers don't like her much. People either love her for her everything or kind of hate her, and she's treated badly in a lot of fanfic. The reasons for this exist in the show's writing and framing and how people interpret her. She's far from the first blorbo of mine to exist in these conditions, i mean just look at PB from AT who is a thousand times more hated but also the best character.

So Glimmer's likability yoyos significantly across the series, she's far from the most offensive abrasive friend character, but she's one of the least likable characters in She-Ra. This is down to the show not having any particularly unlikable characters apart from Shadow Weaver, if I'm honest, and Glimmer's constant rubbing against other far more liked characters such as Adora, Bow, Catra, so on.

Glimmer is annoying as a bare minimum and nasty as shit at other times, going through challenges that turn her against her friends and make her seek power and lash out against others.

However, these are flaws the show is hyper aware of and has baked into her story. They are all part of what makes her Glimmer, they are all what makes her so memorable and interesting.

It is the push and pull of Glimmer's courage, her desire to be there for her friends, with her insecurities about being weak, her failure to protect her mother, that mean... When Glimmer is handed the powers of the moonstone and offered tutoring in magic, you're giving a powerless beaten down puppy a MACHINE GUN. Of course she's going to use that power ineffectively.

Complexity doesn't always make a good character. If you look at Steven Universe or even Adventure Time, you have a lot of complex characters in that series who fail to serve any strong role, or who zigzag in so many directions taht you can no longer make sense of their motivations.

However, Glimmer's motivations are not only internally consistent across the entire series, the show gives her a complete character arc where she goes from a powerless brat, to a responsible commander, to a brokenhearted powerhouse, to someone who understands where she fucked up and is trying very very hard to lead her friends into a hopeful future using the very same character traits that led her to go astray - Her love, courage, and rage.

There are a couple of weaknesses for Glimmer. I would say mainly that the show goes too far to make her snap at Adora in season 4. I don't think she needed to go that far, and it would've been fine if they dealt with it properly in season 5, but Adora and Glimmer's relationship is completely brushed over in season 5. Adora and Glimmer aren't the only victims of this - there is Micah, and season 5 is the difference between Scorpia being a good character vs an "ok" character - but it is a very very good story, and it's hard to say how it could've improved these characters with the timeframe that it had.

Entrapta

Likable: Yes Complex: No Good: Yes

What makes Entrapta different from Micah and Glimmer and Sea Hawk is that she's a very basic, likable character, but she has a severe impact on every single season on the show. Entrapta is second to Catra, in my opinion, in terms of making a "good" character in She-ra, but she doesn't require any of Catra or Glimmer's complexity to get there.

Entrapta's character does not change much, but she does have challenges, which tie strongly to the base themes of She-ra - understanding, acceptance and love. Entrapta is thrown around the plot like a pinball but her movements are being noticed by all the other characters. When she joins the Horde, it changes both the Horde and the Rebellion. She puts Hordak on his path to independence. She's a big reason Catra descended into desperation, going through a repeat of the cycle of abuse. She's also why Adora and Glimmer went into hardcore martyrdom, though that has less to do with Entrapta herself and more to do with how her "death" triggered their prior conditioning. She did the runestone experiment, and created the portal. And when Entrapta is removed from the equation, it is a major catalyst for other characters to step into the hole she left behind.

But while these feats are impressive, they don't say much about Entrapta herself. What makes her a good character and not just a plot device?

Well, Entrapta has an internal logic and a strong sense of personality that is present throughout the show. While other mad scientists might act randomly and not have much character going on, Entrapta has an entire arc that has less to do with science and is instead focused on her goal of connection. She has a deep love for science but also for friendship and she wants to connect those things together, she wants to express love through her science and be liked for who she is.

That's what makes her compelling and likable. It's not that deep but it ties in to everything she does. It's what connects her to the other characters.

That's why Entrapta can seamlessly work with the good guys, and the bad guys, and be ideologically opposed to the true big bad of the series just as the rest of the characters are, without having to change much as a person or to be that complex. The show moves her around where she is most effective at serving its story themes as her current self, and she never has a period of inactivity in the story even when absent. And she never has to do anything that contradicts her previous actions.

I have strong opinions on other series. I'm thinking a lot about SU, because it's full of complex characters who get discarded, but also I'm thinking about Princess Bubblegum. I think I'd rate Princess Bubblegum differently for every season of Adventure Time.

[linka-from-captain-planet]

Florrickology, Part 6: "Desire" Florrick? you're damn right I do

In-game, Counsellor Florrick is only ever referred to just that way: her title, "Florrick", or both. Nothing and nobody--not even Ulder, whom she sometimes calls by his first name--ever calls her anything else.

But in the game files, she's consistently referred to as "Desire", implying that her behind-the-scenes full name is Desire Florrick.

... which is extra interesting when you consider the possibility that she named herself.

Of course, the immediate first question is: how do you say it?

Being that Larian is a Belgian company, I would assume it was their intent to pronounce it the French way, said like deh-zi-ray rather than like the flat-out English word "desire." Personally, I'm too lazy to hit an accent key twice, so I always style it as Desiré even though Désiré is probably more correct, to convey the pronunciation I think is intended.

side note: I knew several Desirees growing up in the rust belt USA and they were all uhhhh extremely trashy, so discovering my urbane elven beloved had the same name took me out and was actually really hard to adjust to

Moving on: Prior to checking out the game files, I simply assumed that "Florrick" was her only name, which I was willing to accept based on the scant lore I knew. Other nobles and officials have their full names written out in-game, so there's no reason to expect that she was excluded for some reason. I do figure that it's probably just an oversight, and her first name just got lost in the shuffle between writing the files and developing the final product.

But she has a first name, still.

Disregarding real life and its boring explanations as usual, the question is, in-universe, why does nobody and nothing--not herself, not Yeva or Ito, not Jaheira, not Ulder, not Wyll, not official documents--ever use it?

There are several ways to go with this:

The game files don't count. Her first and only name is truly "Florrick", so there's nothing else to call her.

We only see her while she's acting in some official capacity, where she expects to be called by her rank and/or title by inferiors, and her last name by equal-ranks or superiors. The same people may call her Desiré in private gatherings, but she keeps it formal at work.

She just prefers to be called "Florrick" in any setting.

And more, but those are my top 3, each with merits for my purposes. #1, my original assumption, fed into a lot of the headcanons I developed about her, but I think #2 is my default. #3 is just sort of amusing to me.

But beyond the question of why nobody calls her by her first name, the question remains:

Who named her that?

I'm not, never will be, and don't want to be a lore expert, and it's a moving target anyway, but the consensus seems to be that elves choose an adult name when they reach a certain milestone in their life experience, usually around 100 years old, which replaces their given childhood name.

So... is Desiré Florrick her original given name, or her chosen name? Since my headcanon is that Florrick is somewhere in the neighborhood of 120-130 years old, that would lead to assumption that it's her chosen name.

"Desire" as a virtue name is pretty odd from an English-speaking perspective, and I would not be surprised if the sexual connotation of the word led to the devs choosing it for her (since they randomly decided to sexualize her more than most other NPCs), but it fits. She's a woman of passion and ambition, of loyalty and determination. Her desire to serve the public, to give her absolute all for the betterment of the city she loves, is what defines her. It suits my headcanon that her status and esteem is all the result of hard work, and relentless pursuit of what she wanted out of life.

"Florrick", I'm overall just willing to buy as her original surname. It sounds kinds of woodsy, just lyrical enough to sound a bit elfy. It fits.

But it's also compelling to me to imagine that she didn't originally have a surname, but took one on to fit in better among the upper echelon of Baldur's Gate, where inheritance and family names are important. Florrick being a wood elf wizard who lives in and faithfully serves the Big City is quite the mad libs of a character setup, so I like to imagine it matters and informs parts of her life. Assimilating into a new culture is an interesting experience, so it's a big part of my greater Florrick headcanon.

[pinkboxess]

very long essay about ted lasso (the show) jesus fuck

sometimes I think Ted Lasso wanted really badly to subvert expectations and tell a "different type of story" and in many ways it worked fantastically and we got a truly incredible story, but other times it fell flat, because instead of the unexpected feeling refreshing, it just felt flabbergasting.

One of my absolute favourite things about the series is the way it handles forgiveness. The scene when Rebecca confesses to Ted about her scheme, Ted responds in a way that is just not what you would think would happen on any other television show. Typically in a situation like that there would be drama with Ted being angry and hurt and the writers would create a whole plot point about whether they can come back together again. But in Ted Lasso, Ted forgives her immediately, and we get this stunning representation of what it can look like to show someone grace. This surprised me, but it landed as a good surprise. It made me really happy and teary-eyed to see the scene progress the way it did.

But then there are the bits that fall flat because they feel entirely out of left field in a bad way. I'm thinking of Rebecca's Dutch Boat Man encounter-- which, for any real woman who has been alive a day on planet earth, would be utterly terrifying instead of romantic. She's literally with a stranger in his home with no phone or way of contacting anyone and she's dependent on him for dry clothes and food and things, and then he gets her drunk. The show wanted us to interpret that scene as a romcom moment, but I was just really confused the whole time, especially with the "did we..." "no" "but we did" line at the end. I knew that something like a random off-screen sexual assault didn't fit in with the tone of the show, but that's the first thing my brain thought of when he said that line, so it was just confusing to be like "no but that would be so insane to throw in like that and I don't think this show would do that based on what I know about it from prior episodes." I did eventually conclude that that is not what they meant to imply, but it's just an example of how off-kilter the whole thing made me feel.

Dutch Man just feels so random and last-minute. The storyline is incredibly underdeveloped for the person they want to be Rebecca's endgame. Rebecca deserved to end up with someone she knows and trusts and has had more than one interaction with, even if that person isn't Ted. Parachuting in a random guy just to serve a narrative purpose didn't do it for me.

And then, of course, Ted leaving. The scene in the bleachers is so devastating. It's out of character for the version of Ted who has gone through the events of season 2. And I feel pretty confident that the reason the writers did it that way is because they were so committed to wanting Ted Lasso to be a show where the couple doesn't get together and it's not as neat as that. And I do see and understand the reasoning behind that thinking-- it's always good to try to push the needle and make a different kind of art. It's always good to show the messy sides of humanity.

For me, it just landed awfully, because the show provided so much overwhelming textual evidence previously that they are deeply connected soulmates. For Ted to so cruelly dismiss Rebecca, to emotionally stonewall her like that-- it just hurt to see. It felt like it ignored everything that had previously been written about the two of them. And if the message of the show is that Ted has worked through his emotional problems, it sure didn't seem like that in 3x12. The stonewalling and guilt about his role as a father is exactly what season 1 Ted was like. If the writers wanted to show us a transformed Ted in 3x12, they didn't.

The ending of the show didn't make me think "wow that was complex and deep and that's what human life is like sometimes." It just made me think "what the fuck was everything that happened previously even there for if we are throwing it out the window in a contrived and unnatural way now."

Disclaimer that I love Ted Lasso. I'm criticizing something that I love with about 95% of my being, but there's just that other 5% that really dislikes some of the choices the writers made. Good thing we have fanfiction to fill in the gaps and end the story in more satisfying ways.

[frankiebirds]

hii!! 11 + 17 for the ask game!!! :))

salty ask game

these got long so they're under the cut. thank you for the ask!!

11. is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? why?

I can't really think of any off the top of my head but two close answers:

i don't understand the hatred towards jordan todd. at all. not because i like her but because i truly can't imagine feeling that strongly about a character who was in eight episodes. i also really liked her inclusion for how it reminded the audience "hey the BAU is Not Normal. they are largely desensitized to the things they see (not that they're unaffected, not at all, but they deal). here's how a normal person would react." i'll probably write a whole thing about it when i get to her introduction but i think her character served a really good purpose

nathan harris. he's not hated or even disliked, but a lot of the fic about him has him coming back as an unsub (not that that isn't a compelling and plausible premise!) but i like to think that nathan goes on to lead a relatively normal life. a lot of the time, especially when it comes to the more sympathetic unsubs, the audience and the characters are thinking "if only someone had intervened before it got to this point..." and nathan is a little underutilized in fic as an example of that intervention succeeding, if that makes sense? i also really like his character for how he put reid into a role he doesn't get often, as the one providing guidance and support for a younger character. if nathan came back as an unsub, that would just put reid into the victim role, which he is unfortunately very familiar with. i just think his dynamic with reid as it is in the episode is far more interesting than him becoming a killer. (again: i have no problem with those fics. ive read several! im not complaining about their presence, just the lack of the opposite, if that makes sense?)

SORRY i know i didnt really answer the question :(( i didnt just want to say "no" because thats a boring answer so you get these vaguely connected ramblings instead

17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…

TW DRUG ABUSE

i know this is a very basic and unsurprising opinion in the cm fandom but i really wish we'd gotten a real addiction arc for reid. he just kind of...stops using offscreen? it felt a little like the writers realised they had no idea how to write a character dealing with opioid addiction and just went "nvm he's better now <3" it just felt very noncommittal and underwhelming.

this is dark, but i would especially have loved to see reid hitting rock bottom. there are only so many option for that that wouldnt make him keeping his job...highly unrealistic, but one that comes to mind is him going on a full-on bender. i think that specifically could have really worked because they would still be able to relegate most of his drug use to the implied/offscreen, both for the purpose of time (because the A-plot is always the case) and to avoid getting too graphic with it, which i think may have been a concern.

now im specifically picturing an episode starting with reid picking up the phone to hotch telling him they have a case. he doesnt look Well, and when he hangs up, we get a wide shot of where he is and it becomes obvious what happened the night/weekend before. maybe it becomes apparent he doesn't even remember most of it. i think that would really fuck with him—it would fuck with anyone, but especially reid. that would be a good opportunity for ethan, too. he implied he had a problem with alcohol in 2x18 and i would have liked to see him help as someone who Got It at least a little bit.

[adracat]

GWitch 23 thoughts

Sorry for the wait on this, I had to rewatch a few times to really drink in everything that was going on. I didn't have the best knee-jerk reaction initially ( I enjoyed it ofc but was a bit ambivalent about some things) and wanted to give it a fair shake.

First up, seeing Suletta zip around like the ace pilot she is was quite rewarding and fun! Now all those auto-pilot rumors can be laid to rest. However, the circumstances weren't the best and it broke my heart she was gasping for air the entire time. I had no doubt she'd live but it's still miserable to witness that

Ah Lauda. Your tomfoolery knows no bounds. We knew this was coming after the last ep, but it's still a bit frustrating. On a technical narrative level, it works since we're seeing two sets of siblings confront their simmering tension with one another. On a personal level, I wasn't very amused. I first saw this at 4 in the morning and had no patience for Lauda lmao. But rewatching it a few times gave me a deeper appreciation for what's going on. He's really intent on scapegoating Mio for everything wrong in his life. Fitting for her role as the Rose Bride and Lauda's demonized witch

This little aside from Chuchu is so suspicious tbh. Considering Mio's failure at piloting, this seems to imply either she does not have a permet implant of any sort or a flat intolerance. I have a sneaking suspicion it'll become a factor in the next episode.

Mio staring wistfully at Cool-san/etc memento of Suletta will always grab me by the throat. Girl wants to wife up Suletta so bad. And really, who could blame her?

Schwarzette is so pretty and cool. Unfairly so. Like, why did you make that thing so unique and cool? For dipstick Lauda?? Who is that pink permet for and why does it look like Utena??? ANSWER ME OKOUCHI

That's nice of Delling to rise from his sickbed to try and negotiate with the SAL. Unfortunately, this would be for naught because they're here to purge and replace. Not make nice. It was the thought that counts, I suppose.

Speaking of, the debut of a solar ray blindsided me. I mean, yeah it's Gundam, but I kinda thought we were skipping the big death ray lmao. After sitting on it, I think I know where it's headed. Totally on brand for SAL too in hindsight. They like to act removed, but they're just as entrenched as Benerit in the skeevy corpo politics. Allying with Ochs and now Peil cements it

Check the link above to see my Utena related thoughts on this moment btw. It might be the highlight of the episode beyond the Prospera confrontation. Stunned they finally stopped playing coy and seemingly confirm Notrette is indeed a GUND entity residing in pseudo hell, and likely a GWitch newtype like Eri

This was very sweet and I enjoy it more on a rewatch but I also understand why I and so many people had a gut-deep aversion to this subplot. The issue is entirely investment based imo, and tbh I just don't care that much about the Jeturk family dynamics. At best, I don't mind them. Guel is a bro but Lauda is SO exhausting on multiple levels. His misogyny and gross negligence of Petra in favor of revenge doesn't help.

If something came of this other than Lauda/Guel sibling closure, I'd consider it fulfilling. But if you lack investment in the conflict, it's going to feel limp or frustrating in comparison to the siblings you want to see. So while I appreciate the parallel with Suletta/Eri and the continuing subtext of witch coded Mio, that's it for me. But hey, it serves a purpose. A tragic cycle was broken after all, thanks to love and MVP Felsi!

The one big gripe I have after consideration is this man's continued existence. Kenanji doesn't deserve to play buddy buddy with the cast. He's a dirty space cop who bullies children and murdered Nadim, now he's joking with 5lan? The hell. I get the theme of the show is forgiveness and not perpetuating the cycle of revenge but... really? KENANJI gets to be happy but Norea/Sophie don't? Sigh

It was so dirty of Eri to use Suletta's love for Mio against her. She knows Suletta would panic over their mother possibly 'gaining two'. It's crafty and unrepentant, but Suletta holds fast. Her faith in Mio is greater than her idle fears

Mio scolding Prospera over her favoritism was great. We love a fiancé willing to take a stand against her shit in-laws. Speaking of, looks like Mio has fully embraced becoming a Mercury one day. 'All of us will be family' YEAH YOU WILL so suck it up Prospera. The holidays are gonna be so awkward

Btw love Mio was shouting at her while having an emotional breakthrough deciphering her mother's QZ riddle. This moment was excellent and easily superceded my minor gripes. UGH when will you reveal Notrette's whole deal GWitch? We're waiting

Such a bittersweet moment. We know from the Blessing and Cradle Planet that Eri loves her sister but it may not have been until this moment that Suletta understands her feelings. Now, I don't think she's 'dead' tbh. Or deader anyway. I suspect it's a false flag to hook you until the finale. It would be quite anti-climactic if she passed without a proper goodbye. I'm still holding out on a Tempest end where Prospera voluntarily sets her free.

The next Sunday will be our last. Hard to believe tbh. Feels like just yesterday we set out on this spectacular journey. Que sera sera! I'll see y'all in the finale~

[gudvina]

SEVEN KINGS MUST DIE OPINIONS

This post is a series of various ramblings about the movie!!! please do not read the extended version of this post if you want to avoid spoilers! last warning: THIS POST IS BASICALLY ONE SPOILER AFTER THE OTHER!!!!

I had an inkling this movie wasn't going to be incredibly thorough as the series was (and even the series was often a little rushed), but i feel it maintained a strong tie to the series, and while a little rushed it managed to give us some kind of closure.

OPINIONS:

the opening was amazing, loved how it took scenes from the movie and rendered it in the usual opening

Ingrith and Finan were so sweet, i was incredibly saddened that they didn't show them having kids or having more happy moments. Finan's reaction at her death was very sad, and i think it was unfair that we didn't get to know anything about his life post the events of the movie. Good though that it is implied at the end that Finan survives Uhtred.

what about Sihtric's wife/children???? again, we were left wondering about them but not only didn't she appear, his children weren't even in the picture. We are left wondering about them, unfortunately. Good thing though that he survived!!!

We knew baby Uhtred is in Rome; again, where is Stiorra????

Eadgifu's character was put to test this season but i am glad she was consistent with her s5 characterization. she is truly an amazing woman!

Eadgifu and the subtext with Uhtred was something i did not expect but liked! She matched Uhtred's maturity, and I liked the way they supported each other for their children.

Athelstan!!!! okay, while i am disappointed it wasn't Osbert the one to be coupled up with him, i really liked his arc. I love how they explored his feelings over his homosexuality, his guilt and how it tied directly to the story. He acted out of desperation at first, but then came around to his duty and a newfound purpose that wasn't anymore a means to get away from his sins, but something he truly wanted for himself and his people. His complex relationship with Uhtred was shown in a way that for once didn't involve Uhtred behaving stupidly, showing he's definitely grown from the man he once was.

No Hild disappointed me but good for her for getting away from these problems once again!!!

Aldhelm's death:((((

Astrid & Arnalf: now i think this is where the movie threw away its chances of developing a bit more the Dane antagonists! In this season particularly Astrid didn't have any other purpose other than to be the cause of Aldhelm's death, and serve as a plot device to further the story. Arnalf's motivation could have been better explored too.

Osbert's character wasn't very fleshed out, and i disliked that it wasn't even mentioned a conflict between him and Uhtred for the abandonment. Not an explanation, nothing. I do like him though, he reminds me of a younger Uhtred, and I find heartwarming his friendship with Edmund (though even that one is briefly shown).

The end of the movie wasn't bad, though it was interesting. in a way i felt like it was incredibly satisfying, since it didn't show us exactly what happened to Uhtred in the end, though it implied him entering in Valhalla. We don't know what happens after to him, but we know he was loved and he existed, and this series + the movie gives us a glimpse to a secret only we know. Despite it being a rushed ending, i will say that it was a good and satisfying one, and seeing Brida and Ragnar the Fearless truly warmed me. I wished we could have gotten a glimpse of Gisela but oh well, i understand Peri Baumeister was probably busy.

In the end I feel like the main problem of the movie was how rushed it was, and how poorly fleshed out were the characters we were following. That didn't hinder my enjoyment of it, though, and as i said it was very satisfying and in a way i love that we are left filling the gaps they left open.

Is it the best closure to TLK? maybe not, but unfortunately a 2 hour movie would never be able to give all we needed as fans of the serie, so what we got in comparison to many bad movies/sequels out there was a very well made final product.

I feel like upon rewatching both the serie and the movie i will come to love it fully! I have other thoughts, but for now these are my face value disconnected opinions.

I will miss these characters so much, they accompanied me all these years and brought me close to so many people! Hoping to continue enjoying them through the amazing fanwork this fandom continues to create!!!

[americanwerewolfontheinternet]

{Microfic May} 2. Resplendent

CW: manipulation, implied feelings, denial | draco x harry (G)

🍊Resplendent🍊

His parents are whispering conspiratorially at the far end of the dining table. Draco crosses the room, settling in at the empty chair to his father's right, and, ignoring the heaping trays of eggs and sausages, serves himself half a grapefruit, sticky and pink, while they mutter. They both greet him quickly, his mother smiling her adoration, his father gripping his arm jovially, and then they carry on, whispering in anxious, eager nonsense that only the two of them really understand. They are in the throes of concocting a great scheme, Draco knows, and will clue him in at some point; they always do these days, when it takes all hands on deck to get things done for the Malfoys and the Manor and the Money.

The war had driven his parents mad. Both of them, his Azkaban parolee of a father and his Black-born mother. What else is he supposed to think when things have changed so much? When they all sit at the same end of the ancient mahogany table for meals and his mother hugs him often and his father grips his shoulder and tells Draco how very proud he is?

Draco has always trusted his parents implicitly. Has always known they have always done what they thought was best. But now it's evident how much they rely on him to be steadfast and surefooted. They've long included him and conspired with him, but it wasn't until they sat him down on his 18th birthday and told him that they loved him, that he would bring the Malfoys into the future, that he realized he couldn't trust their judgment; the tricky parts of the schemes would just have to go to him from that moment on, Draco decided.

"What do you think, Draco?"

He blinks, turns his attention to his mother. "Sorry?"

His father unveils the front page of the Prophet like it's the Nimbus 2005 (pending creation - Blaise'd gotten a summer internship in Nimbus's development department and had shared covert sketches of its design and Salazar, Draco itches for it). 

Harry Potter- Harry bloody Potter- beams back at him, arm pitched over some poor sucker that looks about ready to be sick, and the headline howls, Potter’s Lost the Plot! and a sub-header, pressuring readers to turn to page eight for the extra editorial, The Tragedy of Child Stars: Skeeter Shares Heartbreak Over Potter’s Mental-Break.

Draco studies the cover briefly, returning to his fruit when he's satisfied he has no real insight. The war is over; what does Draco care about Harry bloody Potter?

"Draco," his father presses.

"What is Potter doing?" his mother insists.

Draco's eyebrows shoot up, creasing his forehead in a furrow. "How should I know?"

And Draco means it, but he doesn't; that had been his primary purpose in the war after all.

"Draco," Dolohov demands, "What's Potter doing in Piccadilly?"

Or, "Draco," Bellatrix whines, "What's Potter want with my sword?"

Or, most disturbingly, "Draco,” muses the Dark Lord, “Do you suppose he'd come for you?" He most certainly would not. Potter? They hardly know each other!

"He saved your life," his mother offers, as if that equates Draco has some sort of value. Potter would have saved anyone.

"You studied together for six years," his father argues, as if they'd shared houses and dorms, when they had barely even shared classes. Potter hated all the things Draco loved.

"I don't have any clue how Harry Potter's barmy brain works," sighs Draco, broken record that he is.

A silence settles in as his parents consider this. They take Draco’s opinions seriously now, after all. 

His father hums, places a hand on his wrist. "But you could find out."

Draco, in spite of himself, stiffens. He could find out. He does plan on returning to school, after all. It maybe wouldn't even be hard, if he says he's sorry (he doesn't think it matters if he is or not) and pretends to be a better person than he is (this also probably doesn't matter). Potter Gryffindors eat that sort of self-improvement thing up, don't they?

He looks at his mum, smiling at him, then at his father's hand, warm on his arm. He deflates, exhales through his nose. "I suppose I could," he says, and takes a bitter bite of his grapefruit.

🍊🍊

(all mistakes mine)

(632ish words)

(<< 1. Create.) (3. Horizon.>>)

@microficmay

[silversiren1101]

Hi Mino! Some questions for you!

Would you ever consider starting a family? How do you feel about getting married, having kids, and potentially settling down?

How do you feel about makeup? Are you any good at putting it on? Do you wear it often?

What's usually on your shopping list?

Hello! Thanks for the ask :3

[Ask from this game: Muse Questions] We'll say she's currently Knight Commander for these rather than her post-canon!

Would you ever consider starting a family? How do you feel about getting married, having kids, and potentially settling down?

Minovae's eyes widen before she chuckles. A hint of sadness laces the sound.

"It's not impossible for a Hellknight to start a family, even as much as it's not... actively encouraged. I mean, the Lictor of the Nail has three daughters who are all Hellknights themselves. There's entire lineages across the Orders, even. But as for me starting a family? That would imply, well, a spouse... or someone that'd be interested in doing such a thing with me at all", she sighs in the delivery of the latter part of the statement. "I'm not sure such a person exists. At least, one I'd want to be with myself."

She seems to have a particular person in her mind, but says nothing further on them.

"I love kids. Always have. I used to..." There's a sadness in her eyes as she remembers a distant past. Her nostrils flare for a moment as she takes a deep, sharp breath before relaxing again. "I had Foundlings. Once. It was... Among the happiest times of my life." She smiles. A slight quivering takes to her lip. "That was a long time ago. My greatest joy. My... greatest failure..."

She sighs. Weary. Hurting.

"I know better than to try again, or want for something not meant for me in this life I've chosen. There is no 'settling down' for me. No wedding dresses. No cradles or bassinets. I'm okay with that. My path is ensuring that choice exists for others, keeping the roaring demons and chaos back from a quiet, safe, and civil life for everyone else out there. I became a Hellknight because I had nothing: nothing to cherish and nothing to lose and nothing to gain either. I have never once expected that to change."

[Words spoken by a woman who has zero idea she does in fact get married and have a child in the future (still no settling down though she's still an active career woman!)]

How do you feel about makeup? Are you any good at putting it on? Do you wear it often?

"What do It think of it? I think of it the same as armor polish or paint: a tool to make something look nice."

She shrugs.

"I don't get much use out of it; kind of hard to with the scales. Getting powder or cream caked up between them is just a recipe for a breakout or some type of infection, and they do a good enough job serving the purpose of makeup anyway", she smirks.

"The only type of makeup I've ever had much luck with is around the eyes: liner, shadow, you know. I don't get much opportunity for it. Contrary to what one Camellia Germ might say, you do not need to put on your sharpest eyeliner before fighting demons every morning. How she hasn't gotten a flake in her eye in the middle of combat..."

"Whatever, that's off topic. What I'm trying to say is that I don't dislike it. Working cases at noble galas and parties after the civil war, I loved getting all dressed and dolled up. I just... haven't had an opportunity or reason to since."

What's usually on your shopping list?

She blinks, violet eyes curious and wide.

"What a strange question. Do you mean in the sense of keeping a house? Because I've never done that, really."

Her tail flicks the air.

"I'm going to assume it's more about stocking up the party before setting out into the Worldwound. In that case--"she extends a hand and begins counting fingers, speaking.

"Healing potions and scrolls, scrolls of Death Ward for shadows and nabasus and bodaks, scrolls of Freedom of Movements also for nabasus--" she mutters under her breath, "hate those fucking things."

"Uh, what else. Scrolls of communal protection from and resist of every elemental damage type, because you never know. Scrolls of Restoration. Scrolls of Heal. Wow- we really do go through a lot of scrolls. Hrm."

She pauses, thinking. "I should talk with the Logistics Council on this... there has to be a cheaper way of keeping us outfitted. Allies we can call on to source us..."

[aziraphalalala]

She stepped closer, understanding in her eyes.

“So, he left you… for a job opportunity?”

“Nngggghhhyyeeaaaah, you could say that.”

“Well, good riddance. If he didn’t choose you, he doesn’t deserve you.”

“He kind of does, you know.”

This snippet comes from my first ever fic, "In the bookshop, after". I promised I'd answer any asks with 500 words from anywhere on any fic I've written here, so, here we are. Author rambling meta, served piping hot, coming up!

Why did I write this fic?

This fic, albeit a short one-shot, was written in the emotional aftershock of *points finger at the last 15 minutes of Good Omens S2E6*.

The second season finally unleashed a burst of creativity and a desire to write in me that had been lying in wait for quite some time. Suddenly, I had so many ideas, and I needed to let it all out somehow. I drew. I sang. I wrote shitty poetry. I returned to tumblr to scream about Good Omens with everyone else.

Once I wrote this fic, it was like opening a Pandora's Box. I can no longer stop, nor do I want to. Writing gives me life. I enjoy it so much I am now writing a multi-chapter human AU fic which will end up being around 30,000 words. In less than 2 months.

It's crazy, and glorious.

Anyway, back to this snippet.

The characters, the dialogue, the context

This unnamed lady, who steps in to the bookshop as Crowley is slowly but steadily consuming quite extraordinary amounts of alcohol, has an uncanny way of picking up things she shouldn't be able to.

Crowley and the lady have a conversation which happens on multiple levels, especially for Crowley. He ends up being painfully honest, secure in his knowledge that most of it goes over the head of this random person.

We, the readers, are not sure whether that's truly the case. She appears rather unusually perceptive.

I have plans for that random person, and a whole backstory for her. I might write it one day. That fic would go a long way explaining her side of this conversation.

But for now, we don't really know her, and we leave it at that.

What was I thinking as I wrote this?

This moment, these lines, draw heavily from my own life. I, too, once imagined that love is an emotion that in itself can be enough for a relationship. Experience, sometimes harshly, has taught me that in the end, our actions and choices are more important than our intentions and emotions.

Does this person choose me? Do they prioritize my needs? Do they make an effort, day in day out, to make our relationship work?

This is the lesson the lady wishes to drill into Crowley. And if it were any other person in the world, a friend of mine for example, I'd tell them to move on. Good riddance. They don't choose you, they don't deserve you.

But. Aziraphale and Crowley have been friends, enemies and co-conspirators for six millennia. How does one even begin to define the complexities of their relationship?

Have they not, consistently, worked to keep each other safe, to find short moments together that they can share in secret?

Their relationship is a relationship that thrives despite being forbidden. Despite the fear that's ever present in their lives.

Some word choice trivia.

"Job opportunity" is a very purposeful choice, because it's a slightly revolting business jargon term. It's jarring, seeing it in the context of Good Omens and our two supernatural beings. It implies, heavily, that it's a bullshit opportunity, meaning it's not what it seems to be. It implies that the lady thinks Aziraphale made the stupidest choice on the planet for something that isn't worth it.

Crowley kinda agrees, but not whole-heartedly, because I believe he knows Aziraphale had very little choice in the end.

And, let's face it. Being an angel of Heaven is basically a shitty corporate job that sucks the life and soul out of you.

"He kind of does, you know." This is where the conversation really happens on a few different levels. Since Crowley understands why Aziraphale did what he did (at least in my head), he still has hope that they can be together, in the end. That they are, in fact, fighting the same fight, on the same side.

Finally.

I'll leave it to all of you to decide whether the lady truly knows what's up when we say "She stepped closer, understanding in her eyes."

Does she understand, think she understands, or do we misinterpret her expression? Again, how is she there? How can she just pick up the conversation, and so many details without being told?

One day I hope we'll find out.

Thanks for the ask, anon! This was fun. 😊

[snarky-synesthete]

Hi, I read in one of your posts that you "almost have a masters degree in motivating the unwilling" and I just wanna say please. Halp. I'm ruining my life by being the way I am and I can't stop. Everybody talks about my "immense potential" and how it's "such a waste of intelligence" for me to be the way that I am. I'm honestly drowning.

Oh wow. If I had a dollar for every time somebody told me that, I'd be able to afford a life coach for my ownself, lol. I have a pretty significant little alphabet soup of disorders to my name, but I didn't get diagnosed with any of them until my early 30s. What that means is that I had to find ways to compensate for my shitshow of a brain, so I have a lot of tips and tricks. I'm currently working on my doctorate as well, so I'm doing lots of research around mental heath, focusing on teen mental health since I work with teens every day.

First off, you're not ruining your life. You're just living it. Your life isn't something that needs to be put through the wash and purified. It is what it is, and you are who you are. The fact that you're here and breathing and *wanting* to improve are already wonderful things. You're doing okay. ^_^

Next, think about what you want your life to look like. This is a good journalling prompt. There's no wrong way to do this. You can get really specific, right down to the new furniture you'd like to fill your space with; you can have just big picture stuff: "I want to survive high school" or "I want to wake up looking forward to the day." Try to think in positive terms rather than negative. I don't mean "I want to feel happy!" necessarily: but think of things with positive *action*: instead of "I don't want to feel miserable," which is a negative, something you want to subtract from your life, think of a positive: "I want to feel better," "I want to re-connect with an old hobby," "I want to start a diary," things like that. It's easier, sometimes, for our weird monkey brains, if we start off *adding* something new instead of *stopping* something old...even if the "something old" is part of what makes us miserable.

For example, a lot of people want to stop smoking. Quitting cold-turkey is possible, sure, but it's a god-awful experience. Instead of thinking of it as "subtracting" smoking, a better approach would be to ADD something new that can slowly start taking its place. An example in this scenario would be to add in another oral treat you enjoy (I see your mind in the gutter, hello, nice place!) that can take the place of just one smoke a day. A really nice chocolate truffle, or some spicy crunchy chips, or a fancy lollipop. That way, your brain isn't necessarily feeling a *deprivation* or the lack of something it has come to expect, but you're still lowering your daily nicotine consumption.

So that might be the easiest way to start. Look at any habits you might have that don't make you feel good, or that you don't want to carry with you into your future. I don't want to call them "bad habits" because that implies a judgment call, which I am NOT qualified to make about your lived experiences. Obviously, that habit served its purpose for you at some point! But if it's no longer serving you, try to slowly replace it with something that does. Think of it as a shift rather than a removal, and your brain will tolerate the change more easily.

If you wanna get more specific, feel free to DM me, @justanexistentialcrisisnbd ^_^

[hesitationss]

i hate feeling like my only purpose in life is to get married to a man and have kids i don't even want kids in general and we live in a super patriarchal society and my house like many houses is super chaivanistic despite being raised in a single parent household. everyone is obsessed with me getting a boyfriend, my mom doesn't even like me unless it's to set me up w a boyfriend because i'm too weird and not normal and also have a lot of behavioural problems because i'm my family's scapegoat. and apparently getting a bf would make me normal and 'set me straight'. sometimes i don't even know if i'm bisexual or a lesbian because it's really hard to tell if my disinterest in a lot of dudes is because a lot of mother's treat their daughters as broodmares outside of serving men. like i frequently have to ask her why she hates women. and she frequently refers to me as the fat ugly daughter when i'm not around. and would imply i was a slut or whore or whatever when i was a kid because i would get to hang out w my dad sometimes who is also not a good parent. also said i lie and beg men for attention because i'm a csa survivor and also says that my cousin is difficult cuz my dad beat him up when he was like 8 and stuff. sometimes i wish i had my cousins parents as parents because they actually defend him and stuff idk wouldn't it be nice to have parents who see you as people and support you or take in interest in you bcuz they like you? it's also crazy that she doesn't like how i look. like her and my dad have been telling me i've been ugly and fat and nobody likes me and wants to be my friend and i'm better off not trying to even look nice for myself. like maybe if i wasn't experiencing child abuse i would care my about maintaining my appearance. and then when i relapse into maladaptive/self harming behavior because she is reminding me that she only likes me if i'm well enough for a man to find attractive so i start being like 'maybe i should kms instead' she's like 'wow you have so many problems, do you know what would fix you? getting a boyfriend. having a boyfriend will make you normal'.... also my siblings bully me too, it was way worse when i was a teenager but they would also blame me for when our mom would start beating my ass i have a hard time experiencing any caring emotion for them... being a middle child and also a scapegoat and also queer and also having many ACEs and also the eldest daughter of an immigrant household or whatever the fuck the saying is is so lonely and difficult. this also why i've never have fun when i have sex and can't date like a normal person but that is another issue.. it feels like my whole family is saying things in my head when i try to have normal connections with other people. anyway i don't want kids and my family is mean to me and everyone thinks i'm fucked up for not having a boyfriend. also when i did try to date people in highschool my mom when say i shouldn't have one because people don't like me much. but also idc what she says it's just emotionally taxing to hear all the time. like my life is literally so uncentered around men and they don't influence my decision making or choices at all. in fact if i am is in front of me or speaking to me i may start acting rude and emasculate them on instinct. anyways if i start killing people it's literally my human right... meow meow meow meow meow etc.

[crossdressingdeath]

#yessss exactly alistair puts the warden in a really bad position#he doesn't want to make choices but he does want you to make the choices he would have made#and with NO information. amell/surana isn't just ignorant of how to do... basically everything all the time#they also likely know NOTHING about the political landscape of ferelden.#i mean only cousland probably knows what an 'arl eamon' is but at least the others have some hook into the broader landscape#alistair is saying 'what do we do now' to someone who barely even knows what their options are some of the time#'i guess we gray warden treatize' - a teenager whose only experience is someone just walking up to them and saying 'you're conscripted now'#like you know so little about being a warden. after the nightmares scene when alistair is like oh yeah we get nightmares you can ask#'is there anything else i should know' and he's like aside from dying young? nah i think we're good. SORRY WARDENS DIE YOUNG?#it's just. make choices. take responsibility for everyone. everyone is looking to you and judging you and you can't flinch#alistair already did that and there's no one left behind you if you do too#i get it he's also very young but the relationship is fundamentally shaped by him saying i don't want this and not asking you what you want#relatedly it's why i've never made alistair king and i think it's interesting how many people do#i can't (for my wardens) mentally justify someone whose first knowledge of alistair was him abdicating responsibility#then coming to believe that he would be a good king. you gave me the responsibility for fighting the blight why would i give you a country?#i think there is an argument to be made for being frustrated with him for immaturity but like... for this. not for having feelings#he's a really good character and i wish we had a chance to explore more of this side of that dynamic in game (tags via @apostacism)

"He doesn't want to make choices but he does want you to make the choices he would have made" is such a good way of putting it! He doesn't want the responsibility, but he does want to get his way. And he's young, but the Warden is also implied to be very young? I'd say late teens to mid-late twenties, so it's actually pretty easy to make them younger than Alistair. And they know nothing! Especially Surana and Amell as you say, but... yeah, it's only really Cousland and maybe Aeducan who'd actually have any idea what they're doing? At least Alistair has been a Warden for more than a day. Alistair is saying "What do we do now" to someone who before now might not have been outside since they were too young to remember, or above ground in their whole life! He's just dumping this weight on someone who has no idea how to carry it, with no warning and no discussion! Alistair breaks down after Ostagar, and I can understand that, but by just dropping full responsibility for the group onto the Warden and refusing to take any of it back even when he's had time to process, he's robbing them of their opportunity to break down or deal with what happened at all, because they have to be the one who's put together and in control at all times from Ostagar to the end of the game, because their little group will fall apart if they don't.

And while obviously I can't speak to everyone's Wardens, Tahel Surana puts Alistair on the throne precisely because he knows he'll abandon his responsibilities the first chance he gets. After all, who better to turn to when he wants to escape his responsibilities than his loyal, intelligent chancellor? Even if only because the alternative is turning to Anora. It serves Tahel's purposes to be the power behind the throne, and that's a lot easier with Alistair in charge than it is with Anora.

A thing I wish DAO went into more: the way Alistair is in some ways incredibly selfish. Like, the way he refuses to take charge of the group is treated as kind of endearing in the text, but the game doesn't really get into what a massive burden he just... drops on the junior Warden present with no warning or discussion. Think about it: the Warden is heavily implied to be very young (possibly younger than Alistair, definitely around the same age), most of them have no real experience in leadership, several of them have no experience in the world outside their small corner, all of them have only been Wardens for a few days. And Alistair dumps leadership of the group on them and refuses to take any of that weight. Does your Warden like leadership? Are they any good at it? Is it exhausting and difficult for them? Alistair doesn't care! He doesn't want to lead, and that means you have to lead, and whether or not you want to lead has no bearing on that. It's not a discussion, there's no suggestion of sharing the responsibility of leadership as the Wardens of the group; Alistair metaphorically throws the responsibility at you and runs.

But if you go for low approval with Alistair it's basically all about calling him childish and immature, even though I think a much more compelling low approval dynamic is the Warden despising Alistair for putting so much on them with no hesitation, but being stuck with him (because they know as well as he does that they need all hands on deck Warden-wise) and stuck with that burden of leadership (because a Warden kind of has to be in charge of the group and even if one didn't no one else in the group would be very good as a leader in this situation, and Alistair has made it very clear that he won't take it). Even at high approval it would be very compelling to have this sense of resentment at how Alistair just assumed they'd take on the burden of leadership and refuses to take any of it for himself. But that aspect gets completely ignored in the story, you don't really get the chance to raise the matter aside from asking why you're in charge despite him being the senior Warden present a couple of times.

It also adds something really spicy to the fallout of sparing Loghain, though, because... Alistair forced the Warden to take on leadership. He made them be the one to make these hard choices. It's never been a discussion, it's never been the Warden's choice whether or not they take on responsibility for these tough decisions, Alistair always just expects them to do it. And now they've made a call he doesn't like, and he abandons the group on the eve of battle because of his wounded feelings? I'd argue that's as much a betrayal as sparing Loghain if not more so, and certainly more of a betrayal of Duncan's memory; Duncan understood that a good Warden must be driven by necessity, not emotion or even morality, and I feel like in the Warden's place he likely would've made the same call. They need Wardens around to kill the Archdemon, as many as they can get, and even one more could make the difference between victory and defeat. The Warden and Alistair may not know the details, but with the most senior Warden present saying they should make Loghain a Warden instead of killing him a logical assumption would be he has a very good reason for saying so and maybe they should listen to him! I would've loved it if during the argument with Alistair after sparing Loghain you could really get into that "You forced the responsibility of making these decisions on me when I never wanted or asked for it, you don't get to throw a tantrum now that I've made one you don't like" aspect of it, but you... don't. And that's a shame, because it takes a lot of depth away from his dynamic with the Warden.

[randomclam24]

Silent Hill 3

Every other Silent Hill game by the members of the original Team Silent has the combat, even on the hardest difficulty, so that as long as you take care to take the enemies one at a time, the most you have to learn is some precise timing. In Silent Hill 3, if you wanted to take that completionist approach, every little thing would have to be perfect.

Update

Well, based on how women are chameleons who will mold to whoever they're attached to at any given point in time, to the point that even a strong man that gets divorced will be called a racist bigot etc. and accused of raping the kids possibly, there's no meaningful source of will to go on but to admit that existence is not just ruled by but was literally generated from the darkness.

Any other way just doesn't make sense.

The overcoming of laziness is limited to evil, selfish intentions.

Update

The updating of posts is limited to the most recent post. That sucks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fwrz0-dnZIA - Imgur

That poll on whether people want shitposting is shadowbanned just like my imgur account was, and the Minecraft servers.

This is what you get when I drink even a little. Also, who honestly drinks light beer, for any purpose? That shit is basically backwash. It doesn't do anything.

You actually have to pay out of pocket for that. It isn't any cheaper.

Mountain Dew probably has a stronger effect by itself.

No, I'm going to avoid alcohol for a while, now that all that's gone.

So, now that that happened, what was it like? That was last night. There really is a sort of kaleidoscope vision overlay. It's many different round shapes of different shadings on top of each other. It was really heavy. Also, it's only just then, at that state, that I finally see exactly what they're talking about with the popping bubbles effect used to imply drunken cartoon characters. It wasn't really that bad, but I also wasn't moving.

Also, I have to disclaim that artist, because he's been called out as a Freemason now.

I don't have much to live for? Imagine things popping up here and there to get pushed back down underthumb. That might happen afresh now, but in the meantime, all that's going to proceed beyond conception stage is the steady collapse of the U.S. dollar and so forth.

I don't have much as a result of the alcohol experiment, but I know there are sweet spots that require more than any form of light beer. Look at that like drinking diet soda.

I have to come up with an estimate, because I know the highest sweet spot was somewhere close before the point of seeing color overlays. The latest batch was Captain Morgans, at 100 proof, 750mL each. I got it wrong before and thought it was 1L. 375mL raw alcohol

Basically, you can sum it up as, one of these sucked all the way down will get you to that point. (One of these is about $20)

Literally, 750mL of vodka won't do this.

It was honestly an active process keeping it down without vomiting.

The math shows Plantation overproof rum, which is all I could find overproof at only one of the Walmarts, is barely any cheaper per raw alcohol volume than a 30-pack of regular beer.

What I haven't done is the calorie total.

1 Captain Morgan - 17 servings at 122 calories = 2,074 calories

Busch at the same amount of raw alcohol at 150 calories per can = 3,686 calories

Plantation at the same amount of raw alcohol at 349 calories per 100 mL = 1,897 calories

I know I'm shadowbanned on the Internet, not from people directly linking, but from people leaving behind likes and comments in real life. But even then, I think the psychological effect of having curated amounts of likes and dislikes is absolutely working.

It's true it might not be curated per se, but that anyone redirected to there from here would be shadowbanned in that their viewcounts and responses wouldn't be recorded.

I'm actually just going to try to sleep as much as possible.

6/13

I did

I made it past the difficulty spike at the start of Doom episode four on Man and a Half in Project Brutality, with the Chaotic Random spawning preset, but I have a feeling about this mod. From past playthroughs with earlier versions, there are zoom features on a lot of the weapons which provide for better accuracy, and unless you're playing on the highest three difficulties, there isn't much reason to rely on these new functions.

6/14

It's one thing to prove something as an individual. But then proceeding to get up, each morning, and repeat said action with absolute certainty every single time is something completely outlandish in comparison. Trying to teach other people to do something right is completely unrelated to the original act of proving, because in that case you have *psychological* issues to deal with to get past, and I frankly don't deal in those. They're perpetual, the only part of this that is.

If the world really was a global village like everyone online likes to think it is, the world's problems could be solved by the means of simply proving things. But the only things that will make it on the scale of the world stage are the things that can be mass-produced to the lowest common denominator.

And I'm just thinking, at that point, who really cares? That's not what proving things is about.

Be realistic: the billions are going to drink light beer and be basic today. "Go fuck yourself" is what they tell me. They say if I don't, they'll call the police promptly, and they all have top-level sanpaku eyes to go with it.

I've been gangstalked for at least the majority of my life, building up to the point it's currently at. So I don't think those are "organic" expressions. Something artificially-rooted pulled them up to the surface like that, to be having them so consistently that you would be thinking top-level sanpaku eyes are a natural state of everyday living, which in my life it certainly is. Actually, I don't think I'm supposed to be saying that out where people can listen to it.

But even so, the modern philosophy is about self-pleasuring and reaching self-satisfaction. I am technically entitled to preconclusions that satisfy me pettily. I don't like these people.

Also, although there was the Biblical verse "render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's", when it comes down to the morality as universal laws, I just find that it's unclear whether people, be it today or in the original times because I just don't know, actually believe that "the Lord", as in landlords in the feudal times, is just providing petty-scale morality by which to stave off the hardships of greater nature. That seems to be the nature of moral guidelines which people today have, because they're holding their top-level sanpaku eyes expressions inside for that moment when you start to let slip their assumption believed to be held simply in common, it's such common knowledge, that the greater reality is just savagery plus meaninglessness superimposed, no less where it's objectively not applicable, just for its own sake.

This basically implies that the entire concept of "Lord" Biblically just renders a small creature protecting his lands from the higher powers that actually be in this universe, or whatever it is.

I always thought that the belief that human nature is inherently evil is what Satanists believe, in that they rely on this, when it's only applicable to people at their lowest, which is why that all comes down to what was referred to in the Bible as suffering the "lying in wait of the Jews". Common people today believe in the image of man at his lowest as the image of man in and of itself.

What I get for the nature of surveying I do on the Internet is fridge horror: every time a figure jumps ship, it happens in the form of expressing that *everyone* is jumping ship because it's so long overdue it hurts. This plays out when it's based on a falsehood.

Update

The Bible tries - *tried* - stating this: There is no power in Hell

The modern world holds just this religiously: There's no power in *God* - we're just looking past - in this emptiness, just what actually motivates this? There's no power in God.

I know. Just everyone looks past Christians. [This is the two paragraphs that got shadowban-deleted]

And then there's the endless self-powering rant about how they deserve this when they're so lukewarm and so people can't be blamed for that

There's no point in fame, when it comes down to it. When someone makes assumptions, that's it. What you get is *artificial.* It may as well not be a living thing. Leave the actual living thing to itself so it can actually live life instead of this box. This is fucking junk.

I guess I just have to sit here complaining about the fact that Qabbalah is the reason everyone has the most meaningful decisions in their life as a half-assed side measure. Because I fuck the Qabbalah up by being a spastic or whatever the real problem is, I can't stay out of the mental institution except by living in the mind of other people - correction: *and I *hate* that!*

Would I be less harmful if I just killed myself? The book of revelation references how this is destined to make people believe they're serving God, and it *is*, to the common person. I think you're wrong, but that doesn't make a difference, and here's the proof in the pudding: you have to *mass produce* to stimulate the actual whole world, and that means absolute garbage at the end of the line. You can't afford effortposting at every level. Not even remotely possible.

If I try saying something, the entire Biblical phrase "pearls before swine" I don't think suffices it - I don't think.

The way I talk is so sublimated, it's trannies who are finding me empowering, for all I know. Done.

I don't know what I'm doing.

God doesn't *love* us. He didn't make us with minds that would process. This platform is borderline meaningless.

For that, a lot of people today would just say there is no God and move on. Haven't I ever considered that?

Honestly my current presiding reason for religion: I talked about how you can't seriously talk about why Jesus rebuked the Pharisees and such. When you experience it, you know personally what is meant by "the lying in wait of the Jews" - that's not something that comes as reconcilable to our everyday lives - and you don't talk about that.

*That* issue is a matter of on or off - you *won't* see people talking about it in religious institutions.

I don't know why we *make* religious institutions - you do realize that takes a lot of money, right?

I guess human effort, like human lives, are considered disposable.

It comes down to the way every thing the religious leaders were saying to Jesus was, explicitly mentioned, intended to entrap him in his own words. That's part of the lying in wait of the Jews.

In fact I find it unrealistic that that went and happened, because when it comes down to it, there are plenty more situations where one can be entrapped in their own words without any of that being in truth, and yet this magically worked out. It's not a human set of matters, but ones magically strung together by "sky daddy". That's what everyone says.

It could have easily not worked out just by nature of the flawed medium of back-and-forth speaking, but instead they just said to hell with it and flipped the chess board and said here, let's just hard-rig this conversation up so it'll be cool, just like those Marvel comic books

Update

I don't think anyone out there really preaches

Update

The only "morality" I have, in common with these people whose worship is good feels, is that this platform isn't worth anything in that I have to still not get arrested, as usual - it's brutalistic, plain and simple, and then everyone is just going to nod it away like it's agreed when it is because it is - what the fuck?

I have to disavow Project Brutality against my own will because *some people* are interpreting it like that's pro-law-enforcement when it's *not*. People are obviously too stupid to see the light and will cheer for more kids in cages

Okay, so at this point I'm sold that my original take averting me from Halo is - at least in public perception, the reason I'm going to hate id software now as a whole. It's pro-police-state as its only veritable function, so that's bad

Update

I can't send a message without at least telling the viewer to off themselves "ironically". There are simply no words to work through this.

Update

Even with this platform, there's nothing that can be done except empower the already-in-power establishment. I refuse to do this for such a corrupt establishment. I'm going to be spending as much time sleeping as possible as a counter-statement to the hooligans owning up to this situation before I can even get a word in edgewise, like I'm not even here.

Update after dinner

No matter how much you think it goes without saying, "I" am not "Republicans", or "religious people" - I am a completely separate entity. All of those labels are do-nothing monsters in that they unconsciously call the Masonic police on people. Without me, the timeline would be severed. Maybe that doesn't matter *now*, but it's true. This would have never come out of them. I am a foreigner.

Is it because my family line moves from country to country based on catastrophic war events breaking out? I'm just assuming, the bloodlines of people who just live stationary would have never produced one of me, like those are a different breed. I hate being conflated with Republicans because as far as I'm concerned, they don't actually *produce* anything? They just sit as servile dogs to their masters.

I don't claim to understand them.

Update

Okay, so anything I say from my personal perspective will bite me in the ass in this political environment, since tensions have escalated so very high.

But, if you take the route of imitating exactly what the elites are supposedly already doing, you can't go wrong. I'm not saying I'm all for - I'm saying a depopulation agenda done selectively might just be an imperative for basic survival. It's so bad.

6/15

Today was my birthday. I convinced my mom to get a Captain Morgan for between me and my dad instead of the beers she proposed to him before. I found out from them that only mixing Coke as soda with this substance actually works flavor-wise.

Idiots appealing to religion over Project Brutality, it's the same thing as saying Back the Blue

This is the basis for my now supporting eugenics

Update

For a review, I'm going to watch 300 for the first time

6/16

Somehow, I see a connection between the the place I just naturally stopped at in Doom II's run of Project Brutality, which is Dead Simple, and the fact that George Soros's son, appointed as his legacy, just announced he's 100 times worse than his dad.

It was being taken as a very irresponsible statement, because it was really just being received by itself, as just in and of itself.

But in this context, it sounds less like a threat and more like a passive observation that if you proceed any further like this, you will make things a lot worse for yourself. Being an address to the forefront of the culture, it's more likely that's what it's talking about. They don't expect to do things aggressively; they expect right-wingers to take the first shot so they can do everything under the guise of defense.

Update

I recommend I Am the Painkiller difficulty

6/17

I'm still reviewing the different difficulties, but I decided that if a hub structure for the full intermission map of the shareware episode was made, it should be restricted to the highest difficulty. It has to have that tension for the atmosphere.

6/18

There was a thing with Quake's difficulties where people claim Hard is harder than Nightmare because it catches you off-guard. That may be the reasoning with why 12 / 10 difficulty feels harder.

Update

They hid the Captain Morgan after the amount my dad and I had for my birthday night. I eventually found it anyway.

Honestly, between the effects on voting, effectively diminishing the suffrage of our own for good, and the dating market, if it weren't for the women question, would Anonymous hate society as much? Serious question.

There are people advocating for monarchy just because they can't shake the assumption that Republics are going to be dominated by women's suffrage, like no matter what system you make to try to salvage, in *this* social climate, it's going to turn out the same. Really, really, really really makes you want to think, because if no one does, further extremism, down the line, is eventually going to be justified.

Also, quoting

"Prices go up when demand exceeds supply, I don’t know what anyone was thinking when they imported a bunch of demand..." (slur implied)

Also, Joe Biden's still in office

Before I had a great audience, I did a thing every day, imitating someone doing this for the eventual release of MGS V: The Phantom Pain, where if Obama wasn't out of office, I would give the daily countdown of how many were left

Also around 60% of the college population is now female, relevant as of 2021

I'm just saying, back in Roman times, which were ancient Biblical times compared to our times, people could just snap in that they could walk out en masse of working. Also, there was no gay standing around with signs. They just physically did it en masse.

Allegedly Super Monkey Ball will turn you into a man. I played it on Gameboy Advance.

And this just happened, posted to the main website

Sprinter on Twitter: "Military activity noted in the United States, the Internet is jammed everywhere footage of heavy military equipment driving through the streets of American cities, and swarms of drones flying in the sky. In 11 states of the country, serious interruptions in the Internet… https://t.co/SMMuOJUDgW" / Twitter

https://archive.is/z77GN

Update

I think I know what I really wanted out of this state of mild drunkenness that I couldn't figure out beforehand. Just hear me out real quick. When it comes down to events like this happening, that means the wheels are greased, or at least it appears in my mind, and I really don't want to think about the alternative to this. If things really happened as a regular occurrence, I would have love in my heart, and I do. But, comparing to Silent Hill 4 which got brought up from the YouTube influencing days, a situation where in truth there's no viable hope, no visible future, that makes way for unabashed hatred. What I felt that one time I got drunk and noted the Kanye lyric as relatable, "no one blames the plaintiff", underneath, *that's* how I meant it. That's why a bit later I had to come down saying I don't want to have to live making rabble-rousing for its own sake anymore. That's what I'm trying to refer to. That is something bottomless.

6/19

The episode four run on Man and a Half is finally done, and the run on Last Man on Earth has finally made it to the second episode.

Update

I thought only Hoover1979's Ultra HD textures for Doom looked good as replacements to the original textures. That only works on an outdated version of GZDoom, while Project Brutality only works on a more recent version.

Update

Well, I still think the West is doomed.

Most of the situation I think comes down to what I've heard about from Common Filth about how people in less densely populated areas have nothing to do and will just turn to drugs.

Update

I didn't know what else to do, so I threw in some Warioland II in its black-and-white form.

Now I shifted back to the 12 / 10 difficulty run.

Update

The Man and a Half run is probably the more important - that is already in Doom II

Update

Today, out of nowhere, I have energy to support myself into standing position without it feeling unnecessarily painful. But life is boring.

Update

I wish I could actually be mature. I also wish I had my own thing going, that was an active process.

Wait, never mind. I don't want to be forced to do anything

Update

As a matter of fact, don't carry on with that Man and a Half run.

Update

Now that I'm intent on actually playing it, I wanted to say that the map House of Pain in Doom episode three, especially in this format, brings back not just a reminder but memories of a relatively profound dream, that I want somebody to interpret, somehow - in some capacity. The difficulty right now is I Am the Painkiller. This is the furthest map I've made it to on the highest difficulties.

Update

I might not want to recount the dream because it's overly personal or weird.

But I've been testing these different difficulties, and if you want a continual run of the classic Doom series, I Am the Painkiller is what you want. I think.

6/20

Now doing Hell on Earth Starter Pack instead. I guess do it on Painkiller difficulty.

Update

Where there's a will, there's a way. There's the problem.

People just assume the will to do anything just comes out of a can, and in reality that's anal compulsion. I don't want to promote what tumblr and the rest of the paid web sites are promoting, so

The alternative is to do things the way you would see most people doing them, which with difficult things just means being really lazy.

Basically what I heard from Common Filth, which you would have heard if you regulared, was that people in the workforce all have their own individualized ideas of what works the best and what doesn't, and none of it integrates, so nothing is really, in that sense, upward mobility.

"God is Dead" doesn't gives the specifics of the facts of the FBI and Central Intelligence Agency doing the bidding of the enemies of those in Anonymous who are actually gathering the most important central intelligence that can work to benefit this world. Of course, that's invalid because no one likes white people.

Update

I just finished Warioland II again. Actually, as soon as I started the first stage that wasn't part of the main path as part of the game's replatability, I felt the weight of that one song.

Even then, now I'm going to start Wario Land 3. This is the game in the series that got great critical acclaim as a platformer.

I was thinking, with that last event involving the big cities, if things are getting off the ground now, I might actually work on IBM Skillsbuild, as opposed to just playing video games. Even though there was a lot of information involved in the post, no one's talking about it, so it's as if it didn't happen.

6/21

Trying Hell on Earth Starter Pack again, this time on Man and a Half difficulty

Update

It just hit me, the reason Doom's software lighting has such an extreme jump in brightness only in close quarters with a surface is because it reflects the shininess of some surfaces.

Update

Alright, so that's the best we've got. We're entirely too weak a people to actually get up and do anything about the rich jew sponsored world order, and, as it stands, not only is our only publicly-recognized motivation for doing so merely obstructionist because we're jealous or something to the exact same effect as this, the rich jew sponsored world order is still the underdogs

Update

I really wish this span of time since I was born in history had never existed. It's been garbage.

6/22

Imgur: The magic of the Internet

8H3xGiy.jpg (1024×664) (imgur.com) (zoomed in)

Update

I found out the collection of data discs with media on them that my dad has is playable - or at least I got something to play - on the PS Triple, which I have set up to an old screen, which is appropriate for DVD quality, like on these discs

One of the movies stored is Toy Story 2, which was actually very highly rated

There's also some Spongebob and Bugs Bunny - I'll probably do that first since it's shorter

6/23

There are still days coming off the conveyor line

I have Toy Story 2 running while my parents are shopping, and if nothing else, I'll play Minecraft on Hard, recreating the server from scratch until I get a starting location that's halfway workable

Update

I found the Captain Morgan again. It was in my dad's office, totally drained. It's just, what do we have to do with this much alcohol in this household? None, we just dump it out.

I've been thinking a bit about personal definitive favorite game series of all time. You have your Silent Hill (by Team Silent - so technically Siren also), MOTHER, and Wario Land. Come to think of it, is Mario even this definitive? What I always heard with Mario is that you can't go wrong. With these series, it may be more subjective.

Update

Finding a common interest with my parents was kind of hard in itself. We just watched the first episodes of Futurama on hulu. After episode 2, already there was a breakoff with me, because while I'm just barely able to sit still getting ready for a break, mom apparently was just getting in the mindset that we were "binge-watching."

I don't think we're really compatible.

The worse part is what could come down to the fact that I'm being gangstalked, with people close to me bugged to go through with the worst-case scenarios of these little things I come up with to worry about - but those things are overly specific and gone like water under the bridge. My parents are actually like this, ever since before I could ever confirm narrowly that gangstalking was present. It's as if they're reacting to a mutiny breaking out, but it's not just that. It's as if a mutiny they're reacting to breaking out, not meant to result in much because they're being the better person anyway, gets just *too* out of hand, and all of a sudden, everything flips over to where there's a mutiny that's gotten so out of hand, all reason has gone out the window for all parties, and they just act as rashly as they want. Virtually every last time this has happened, which is easy to set off in all situations, not just the exceptions, it didn't become apparent that anything was going wrong until the moment they exploded, and they're always in the right because they're the parents.

I can't get into casual anything because that underlying pressurization is always there.

Update

I failed at Hard Minecraft. I can try harder, but it's like spinning tires in a rut.

For some reason, this jogged my memory and made me finally realize, things like D. Curry "The Game" and the leftist slogan "It's not rigged, you're just losing" don't have to come out, because it's what everybody's already thinking before anything even happens. It's just how conservatards, which is what they are, are perceived. I don't really know how the description of screaming that they "game" has to do with conservatism, but the only people who actually advocate for how it was in the old days are doing this, undoubtedly.

I guess what people actually get wrong is not that set of sayings I just put out there, but this assumption people have that their talking about "conservatism" is quite literally talking about modern-day conservatives. It may be worth laughing at us for, but that is not true. These are liberals, died-in-the-wool.

That reference to having sex with a girl with a good vibe, in reality, just has to do with the effective customs process you have to go through in order to become accustomed to the prevailing social norms of the time. Really, the argument ought to be framed as Old Age-ism, because the only thing that's being said is at the door with these things, saying it's outright dead, and you need to move on, QED by evidence of feelings of self-evidence in assertion, as with everything else in life, which is all consciousness constitutes. It really is.

I'm not going to take the patient route in Minecraft. At that point you may as well just turn in your theoretical license as a hardcore gamer. If there's no way to do Hard mode proactively, then you may as well quit.

Update

I always wanted to be able to have a setup in Minecraft - and this might be something autistic because it's the same deal I had with a favorite Lego set when I was still in middle school - where I knew more or less exactly what to go to for all the initial essential resources. Doing this approach works, and on console, it works up through hard mode, but on PC, hard mode is harder than what they would have ever intended for console.

I don't know why it gets to me so deep. But I do know, all my other playthroughs of Minecraft on different setups were trying to establish this method of getting a safe zone started and then building up to having the enchantments available in the most timely fashion possible. Playing on hard and failing proves I don't really have the survival guide.

Update

There are certain questions, like is it even worth it to make farming wheat a first priority? It takes too long. Find your initial food elsewhere.

Update

Okay. The first thing is virtually always to punch your first tree, to gather at least three log blocks. These convert to wooden plank blocks which themselves convert when combined vertically into sticks. The first log block should be converted into four planks which will be combined in a square to create the crafting table. The other two log blocks should be converted into plank blocks, and using those, create only four sticks to begin with. Use these resources to craft a wooden axe and a wooden pickaxe.

The next step is to use the wooden axe to gather some more wood. Since it can be converted into charcoal later, leave it in log form.

Then go digging underground until you hit cobblestone and mine that. This is how you build your real initial tools made of stone.

If it's on Hard mode, this is actually making me think about it.

In this server, I didn't find any sheep, so I ended up stealing a bed from a village. If you can't find either, then I guess you're screwed.

Ideally, have one on your home base and one on you to use wherever whenever night falls.

Yes. Use some of the log blocks, create a furnace out of cobblestone, and cook them to produce charcoal, assuming you don't immediately find coal. This will be used to craft torches.

Usually I keep pickaxe, basic stepping-stone blocks, shovel, and torches all clumped together on the item selection with the tools in the middle for easier selection.

From what I've found, wheat farming is the most straightforward way to produce a ridiculous surplus of food items, but to bypass the amount of time required to get this surplus, you need a significant amount of bone meal, which is typically only acquired by killing Skeletons. The problem with that is that these are the most difficult and annoying to defeat of the common enemies because they constantly shoot arrows. If it's the newer versions of Minecraft, they have sped up these Skeletons so that you essentially will rely on the new Shield item, which requires iron, mined from the earth, and it's usually not found near the surface.

What I have right here is a contradiction. I expect to have enough food in supply to take on these skeletons because they're just a common enemy in the caves.

I haven't even estimated how much actual food would be enough for that initial trek to hunt down enough skeletons for the bone meal.

What I tried doing was quickly getting enough iron for an iron suit, and on Hard on PC that just isn't working.

In theory I would want the iron suit before anything, because those skeletons take a toll. There is a method where you gather a surplus of log blocks to craft a surplus of sticks in order to craft a lot of ladders and then you use this to rappel down to the level that you'll find lots of pools of lava.

Realistically you find caves just by creating the hole to do this, so getting cooked meat would be good.

Have a stone sword and a separate crafting table as well. All you need for basic tools is sticks and the cobblestone you will find in great abundance in the caves.

Also, a thing I do is create manually-constructed beacons so that you can tell where your base is from far away. It usually takes two entire spaces filled with 64 blocks to make this thing high enough, because once you're at the top, you have to dig your way back down on one of the block spires. Jump and put the blocks up underneath, and do that until you can tell the thing is visible from above at least most of the treetops, or something, and then put a torch on top before digging back down.

I actually underestimated how much wood it would take to do this, because I normally make a cramped spiral staircase, which eats up the least resources, but that's also boring.

When mining straight down, you want to stand on more than just one block at a time so that you don't fall directly through in the case of a large hole in the earth, or lava.

Which is the best level to mine iron in Minecraft 1.19? (sportskeeda.com)

"Other than that, another sweet spot is underground, at Y level 16. Since players spend most of their time underground as compared to in the mountains, this is also a good easy-to-access location."

Okay, press the F3 key to display coordinate stats

I'm used to mining with at least three blocks vertically to make it more roomy, so I'm going to mine at the levels above and below Y = 16

Update

This is taking way too long.

Update

Literally, just finding enough iron to make an iron suit of armor would be enough to be considered success in getting started in this game, but there just isn't enough. I have enough for a few new tools. That's it.

Update

They didn't make Wario Land 2 so that the secret ending opens up once you complete the map from the level end games and find a shiny spot on it - it only opens up when you get every bonus game treasure and the map.

6/24

If they didn't make it so you can save and quit once you have the treasure, this would be unbearable.

At this point, I'm a bit afraid I'm going to go stir-crazy no matter what I do.

When you combine rum and root beer, it doesn't make a nice blend; it tastes horrible. I feel a bit betrayed by that.

Update

The point was made online, and I'm basically expanding on it: we have the American revolution as our example - do you need drill sergeants barking down your neck if you're already motivated to fight and die for your country? How long until we recognize this as evil whoremongering? No more brother wars, right? World War I *and* II.

The more excited I get, the more the Internet connection gets uppity.

Honestly, wouldn't that be the first logical step in establishing a theoretical white identity, acknowledging the gross injustices of the world wars fought over petty alliances?

There are some things that can be known like witnessing (hopefully not in full) the tranny surgery in action, where you then know there are doctors who would carry something like this out no different than any other surgery.

Ironically, there isn't a lot of acknowledgement of the world wars as gross injustices in and of themselves. Usually, it's made all about the fascism of the 1900s, and not so much about the centralization of power granted but the cult of personality of it.

For those who haven't heard the quote before

"You must understand, the leading Bolsheviks who took over Russia were not Russians. They hated Russians. They hated Christians. Driven by ethnic hatred they tortured and slaughtered millions of Russians without a shred of human remorse. It cannot be overstated. Bolshevism committed the greatest human slaughter of all time. The fact that most of the world is ignorant and uncaring about this enormous crime is proof that the global media is in the hands of the perpetrators." - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

The human toll of Bolshevism, which I have to stop and think about just to type out myself, makes the Holocaust pale by direct comparison, and that's monumentally more so if you don't believe the official numbers which aren't even backed by census data.

I think it goes by the wayside for most people, that quote is genuinely appealing to media as something being run by people who truly care about mankind. That's assuming an ideal world for us to live in.

This man is very quotable, and to him, this statement comes as a shock to him, whereas to most of us it wouldn't.

So I notice most of our own don't really think like that, not necessarily, not really. Those of these "Nazis" that actually own up to the fictional ideology drummed up in propaganda are just taking what has been called the "red suppository" - a lot of them are fags.

Hint: There's no help coming

Is that dismissing the whole thing? Well - technically Anonymous was mostly made up of edgy libertarians who then grew out of that phase and now don't identify explicitly as one thing or another.

The way these fantasies like the Holocaust come into being is from what has been documented of reality as the wartime abusiveness of fags, running prisons with solitary confinements.

Is that saying these fags identifying as Nazis are the real thing?

According to census data, at least 1/3 of modern jews are at least bisexual. This is according to a year before identifying with LGBTQ was as easy as signing your name.

I don't know why, but I'm of the mentality that we're in the years specified by science fiction from the 70's and so on. Where is our excuse, other than the points of diminishing returns...

A direct case can be made with the way there used to be quality content coming out of media like Disney, until they were bought out by a soulless corporation.

Unless you want to revamp the whole thing, which at that point would be more well-suited to an original company, individual efforts will just be appropriated into the corporate agenda, which is directly baited along by Blackrock.

The situation with trying to start new business based on work that just crops up organically is something dire which I haven't tried diving into to talk about.

It's, you got a license for that, you got a license for that, you got a license for that?

The reason I'm too intimidated to research it seriously is because I'm afraid that might prove too much and be touchy, when it comes to who comes out of the woodworks.

So, the perspective of the past, which is where boomers are coming from, may be "where is your excuse?", but young people today are looking at things like, what am I supposed to do?

It seems like boomers really would take Blackrock running things from behind the scenes as a reason not to work as an excuse. That's where i'm more certain actually going into the details of how the need for licenses etc. is destroying people's ability to start businesses is going to start this artificial danger for myself from people coming out of the woodwork.

Ironically, in theory, I could personally take on the challenge of all the licensing needs and fees etc., but then people in personal settings tell me all the time, constantly, about the way I do things just generally, you're trying way, way, WAY too hard.

So if you want business to be able to crop up organically, it doesn't matter if I can do it - it would be completely impersonal, by the point you actually push it through all of the corporate bookwork.

I think that's why I consider what happened to the media the best example, because you can't force that.

If anything, even if it's going to be a mockery of one, why don't we try taking "groyping" to the next phase by, openly, spontaneously debating blue checkmarks

Yes, there are inferior feelings to be felt from this. But also, who is taking them seriously?

I'm not going to personally do it because I don't want to dignify anyone in particular with a response. I'm just advocating for it to be done.

Clearly, the masses of people don't actually see the soulless corporations as soulless corporations but more like a cult of personality that they're, actually, personally a part of - what you see when you see people being busy having all the right opinions.

No one is going to take the soulless corporation stance and run with it - that's just a fantasy.

So things are just going to remain in the stagnating and breaking-down state that they are because too many people just want things to just be. The thing is, with all the people having their own personal take on advice on how things work in their own sphere that conflicts with everyone else's at some point or another, if there was an attempt at genuinely unifying this workable knowledge into something definitive - it would be a lot easier in theory just to let new people get into it and not have to make all these little things the focus.

Probably the next game I buy will be Super Monkey Ball, as opposed to Skyrim on PC when I have the PS3 version already.

Update

I finally got enough iron in Minecraft to build a full suit of armor along with the full set of iron tools, and that is because I dug and hit a cave.

Then I realized I still don't want to go in to the caves proper on hard because realistically, for food, you want steaks, and that means gathering cattle. Literally just build a fence and guide more than one in with wheat, then feed them to make them reproduce.

And since mining for the iron takes so long, that should be done first.

Update

The post that got everyone to leave

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Bocchi the Rock Johnson

Update

I didn't want to go out with less than 36 steaks, going by multiples of 12, and then I didn't want to go out because that was too valuable.

For some reason, the thought of achieving success by resorting to the new version of the game's deeper caves that go down to -64 blocks where it's claustrophobic to dig for diamonds gave a flashback to the way the face was used for the stalker in Lacey's games, like this is what we're encouraging for success, becoming a complete recluse.

Update

In Minecraft, we're going with 30 steaks and 60 watermelons.

6/25 night

It takes being drunk to a certain extent to think I could stomach being a schoolboy all over again like I'm going through before-school shopping.

I think the fact that I can't has more to do with the current political climate.

Update

Now here's a hopeful thought. I think what I wanted was to try to recreate that setting from grade school where things were simple enough where, if there was a formula direly needed to be known, it would be explicitly written out on the board and discussed. It was made the main focus. What I've heard since dropping out of college - with a General Transfer Studies degree in tow though - is that once you get past the introductory levels, which is where I did drop out, the majority of professors aren't even articulate enough at it to sum up courses like that from grade school. The hopeful thought from that was that, then, I know all I have to do is find a way to personally garner that articulateness. But then how do you do that? There's no one to tell you what the vital points are.

My optimistic worldview that led to the side production of my dream project sketchup was based around this idea that all things could be reduced to that understanding of vital points and thereby compartmentalized in a way that couldn't be easily exploited, even by ulterior motives from outside. Here, I just have to acknowledge, from the point I was at, at the near end of the introductory portions of college, that was the opposite of the reality.

Update

I don't want to go crazy before I can peak. I think that's the idea.

Is this even an accurate paranoia? If I take the time out to go through course material beforehand to review it before even starting to memorize the contents in order to identify what the vitals are, and I mean to my own personal extent, that would be enough to make people view my approach to the courses as an invader.

Okay, it's true that, having a higher IQ than the professors, I have a self-image that rubs off on my expectations for other people, being way too high.

Like I told my mom today, I don't talk about that much, but you could hold me to militaristically high standards; I'm so glad you don't. She said they would *never* do that, but I said that's what I'm saying: I'm glad you don't

Update

There was some quote from Ghost in the Shell 2 that I took personally which isn't really originating from it, "God forever geometrizes" - I took that to heart because in college after introductory courses, professors, what are you doing - this is exactly what I just talked about

Update

I thought if the professors are just going to do nothing from now on but give the runaround, it might be time to rely solely on the book, but with the human element of the classroom removed, I just didn't care enough anymore.

I'm sure 8th-gen gaming becoming the norm for the industry played a part in discouragement. In the end, there was no sense of competition. I was just spending my time alone.

Update

I wish I could read a book without my own thought tangents becoming an issue.

Update

I wish it was possible to cite these things in isolation from where they came from - too bad that's cheating

Find Me (Intro) - YouTube

Update much later

Why not

▶[Dubstep] ★ Koke Rutter - Valley - YouTube

May remove it before the morning

6/25

It was right when I was deciding there really isn't anything in Minecraft interesting enough to keep me playing that hasn't already on console before that the first message representing the fags appeared in the game's starting menu.

6/26 night

Man, I really want to introduce fifth-columns as part of my daily routine

6/26

Sometimes it feels like there's absolutely nothing to do. My computer system is booked up trying to transfer items to a flash drive in a way that is really inefficient, and other than that there is IBM Skillsbuild, there posing as the education into the job market that was always going to be the end-all-be-all.

It's like there is no reality except for what can be gotten out of significant efforts, and we're just here scraping away at the surface.

I can't just go out and have a job that isn't from home. I'm getting severely, severely gangstalked.

Is there any mindset in which information can be retained? Because every time I try to read through new information ever since failing out of college multiple times, now it's traumatic, and I just feel like I'm digging through someone's trash.

Update

Real talk, was it a waste of time to worry about humanity? It just seems like all of their thoughts are wasting their time. And I mean people from other cultures like Haiti just killed off the white people living there, lived wearing the clothes the white people were wearing at that time, and then starved afterward and blamed the white people. Yes, there are injustices that go on there led by politicians like Hillary Clinton to exploit funding and so forth, but are they deserving of sympathy?

6/27 night

One thing that was mentioned, which is something found when the phenomenon of reuploading footage of the old beta showcases happened, was that Mother 3's design was intended to follow in the footsteps of Mother 2, with Belch being part of the main advertising, by being an experience that actually creates a sense of disgust, being attributed to all of the things happening. That's something I think they should have pursued even in the final game. Still, how would you do that on Gameboy Advance? It doesn't sound like you can.

Update

I should write it down in case I forget after today. What Larry Fink said about distancing himself - socially? - from ESG, notably his own damn creation - that comes at a direct coincidence with the fact that I just then had taken that stance on videogames if what Minecraft's new version just pulled was going to be across the board from now on in some swoop of agenda. In the back of my mind, I know something's up.

I've had pop-up news of George Soros with targeted expressions in these past years since summer 2021. That's why I don't think of these actors as independent anymore. Like gangstalking bugging that happens with people in person, there's no stimulation that would be causing these reactions as things play out in real time. It's thoughts being directly ported, in a way that's not even conscious to them.

Update

The way "pride" is presented in context with our modern world, you would think it is part and parcel of being a Christian in the classic Biblical sense, that the Sexual Revolution is just now reviving.

I've been thinking for the past day or so, if people in general have this manner of thinking, does it really matter that these particular agendas have been playing out? We've been of the mindset that the Sexual Revolution is 21st Century Christianity since the 21st century.

Where were you when you realized "pride", as an reminder of how far we've come, is an adage to this fact and this fact alone? "Always has been"

To liberals, that would seem obvious.

That *was* what they were saying, wasn't it?

6//27

The fact that the current state of public discussion is tolerated shows that it's been over for many, many years, let alone any Agenda 2030. We can't just get up and walk it back. For reasons that exist in the minds of modern contemporary people, it's justified or something. I don't know what they're talking about. I've never seen their arguments stand on their own, but they come from a different reality.

Thinking that has less to do with failure so much as the fact that this is just dealing with a very mediocre people.

And yet here they are, with their savior complex, when they continue to not know shit from Shinola

I just meant to say Republicans.

Well yeah, isn't that what everyone's thinking? Yeah!

Life doesn't have a meaning. We're just going to sit here and hog the podium belligerating Republicans, and being self-projecting in that respect

Every day sucks worse than the last, and that's because you can't get off your ugly ass. Yeah, that's right.

The last major shill post, which is where the Larry Fink story was introduced, was this bizarre low-quality post by a office shill worker posing as a Satanist insider where they took up what I said and was thinking about the military and said you can do nothing but go off and join their military, meaning if you so much as take up work, it's for them unequivocally.

This is what I mean with paranoia, the paranoia I have - it's not the literal subjective interpretation in and of itself but the actual inroads that are then going to be created, having used that as a greenlight and a stimulus, with new narratives across the board, because of me.

Update

From now on, let's just do the honest thing and have a segment of "you know you've lost when..."

When the most meaning you can get out of doing anything that doesn't directly translate into serving the tax farm complex is the equivalent of that psyop with Nazis smearing shit on the bathroom stalls

Update

We're trapped in one particular point in time. There's no getting out

Update

Well, you can say that when I act like liberals are of a different universe, that's not even valid because any of us could make any given argument and have it logically stand, and then declare "the time has come to be reasonable" and realize everyone else is in a different reality.

There are no gears intermeshing between white nationalists or whatever they're supposed to be called and the human population.

Literally, it was my *intended message* that got called out as "grifting", as merely a *proxy* message, for whatever severity it is in "*consensus* reality". Otherwise, the meme wouldn't have had the steam that it did to have initially happened.

So - why don't I understand - consensus reality?

Because it's fake, and up a man's ass.

Okay but by coming out with that real, you're doing pride's favor by denouncing Republicans, as is said bodily function. You act like that's a joke, but no, it's not

Update

The fact that people like Larry Fink make public statements shows that there is a significant enough amount of the population to eat up this bullshit.

Update

The United States is a broken people. I may have inherited this, but I'm not going to pick up the pieces. It's customary to just expect you people to by yourselves, when that's what's never going to happen. Why? Because you live in an alternate reality where everything is just through the TV hobby

I think the problem with that is I don't have anything better to do. Apparently the enjoyability of anything is actually contingent on a real world situation mirroring it, in some way or fashion. Now there isn't. I'm just going to sit here and eat ass.

You suck and are also gay

I don't know why I just thought of this, but Silent Hill 4 made a supposed big thing out of Walter Sullivan having his "mother" at the center of his secret universe. That never really pans out, but that happens to be the name of the final boss of Siren 2.

I remember Common Filth went to some length about the psychology of "mommy worship" - I don't *know*

Update

It seems like no matter what context you're in, if you're a white nationalist, all you have to do is come out saying just forget everything because I'm already despairing, and everyone will come out of the woodwork in unison and this hilarity that comes suspended in euphoric ecstasy over the stated facts that you're just now coming to grips with the conclusions everyone else's already made thousands of years ago, only just today, and now it shows, whatever they're making out of it that makes them act so much, like this.

In reality my state is more like the Family Guy episode name "If I'm Dyin', I'm Lyin'"

But in reality everyone is out of control. I don't know what to do with them

So that is true, I'm legitimately giving up

Reality is a consensus. You can augment it with any little motion of expression.

Life is boring.

The best argument for making this debacle of taking back the West spiritual and not simply racial is the angle Common Filth gave about how early Christians were almost always made up of peoples of multiple ethnicities. That works because that's granting that the early Christians would have actually adhered to the Biblical teachings against racemixing.

Is the real reason everyone bashes conservatives that it really does keep coming down to, we just need to kick out the niggers? "Oh, well what makes *you* so important?" Dumbasses

And of course they think by taking up that route I'm bashing *conservatives*, in their footsteps, like they can't envision logically anything else, and that stands - I'm literally like a fish out of water

And, then, that one song "Small D*ck" by Filthy Frank referencing the meme makes it sound like it's a warning to this when they say "their dicks are much bigger" - that's been disproven; in fact they're smaller. That can't be what it is they're getting so big talking about. They say, in the capacity of the liberals' "listen and believe" - so *not* listening - you have to "listen". "*Listen*"

That event that got the "Propertarian" movement to quietly break up where one of the leaders got confronted by a black activist and just pissed his pants - was that a psyop? There doesn't seem to be any organic reason for him to do that.

It's things like this - when something like Kyle Rittenhouse happens, it's like it's inevitable that something like his cucking out crying on live camera was going to autonomously happen. He crossed the line of, muh sacred *blacks*

My Internet locked up for a bit for this. Forget who's *advocating* for violence - things like Kyle Rittenhouse are what's *organic* - isolate the people getting all uppity - what makes them so special?

Update

In its current state, it's easy to just dismiss or distance Christian religion as a motivator. The racial issue is closer to what it is: calling a spade a spade.

Honestly, if religion pertains to this as a conflict, it would apply *to jews.* That is Biblical.

Update

Well, there's no disputing that with the industry in its current state, the remake of Silent Hill 2 was exclusively with defending the eternal metrosexual in mind, where MGS3 and anything else would just be icing on the cake *after* the fact. Anyone who disputes this is an invalid, says a liberal.

Update

I've never actually mentioned this angle on it before, even though I brought it up too much - Denzel Curry's "The Game" would apply to the way people who are still doing the stuff of Silent Hill 1 and 2 aren't actually up to speed with where the culture is at and are basically there to just be fetishizing.

Update

In reality, Silent Hill is supposed to be an intellectual series. That's why in Whitopia its status as liberal is undisputed.

Actually, that's where I actually understand where people are coming from blowing up, saying the Republicans *aren't intellectual!*

Yep, they just won. And I'm just going to sit there like a dumbass.

You have right-wingers doing "you'd think it's a typo with these red lines and periods", and then they just go off and keep grifting some more I guess

Yeah, that's right - these people who will just be blowing out the gates with "in the name of the Loard!!!" are stupid *idiots* - we have PTSD from doing with this

Basically, Silent Hill 2 nu-version will just be hand-having what the movement is - and they're going to *keep* doing it

Saying we just want to make sure - we just want to make sure

Right. We can't deal with these Christians anymore. We've had too many terror attacks.

Jeeze, we *literally cannot stop* these people from blowing through our gates saying "we want freedom! We want freedom!" Jesus Christ, do you even know what liberty means? Freedom and the pursuit of happiness! That's what open sexuality means

*Freedom of expression*

I don't know what this means, but I just know that this is what it feels like

Bottom line.

The Christians are going to destroy everything.

Honestly I don't think they're gonna do anythi- no.

Until we destroy the right-wingers, we'll never be free of our anxiety

[steveharrington]

But we’re not told WHY they’re vecna’d. There’s no reason why vecna targets traumatized teens EXCEPT to make it even more horror-movie-ish. Why do they get trash compacted like that specifically? It’s implied that’s how vecna a powers work but why? No idea.

The show has left so many unanswered questions already and this new element (vecna itself!) just over complicates everything

And I’m actually kind of pissed bc Patrick gets vecna’d and we know almost nothing about him. But stranger things… hates poc

I actually kind of hate Chrissy because of how differently she (pretty white girl) was treated from Patrick (black boy). And. her eating disorder existed SOLELY for exploitative purposes just to cause an emotional reaction it’s not something that adds to her as a character it’s just there to freak the audience out, meanwhile other REAL LIFE ACTORS are being forced to starve themselves for the roles. We get it eating disorders are scary good thing they’re not real! /s

Acting like this new girl will be important focusing on her ed only to kill her off in the most horrific way possible… i don’t like it it feels exploitative especially of a real world problem this show is absolutely complicit in spreading

We got a LOT less development for Fred than chrissy and didn’t fucking. Languish in such a triggering topic I think he was the happy medium.

Regardless the focus on traumatized teens with no other similarities was already so random they could have just picked literally anyone with no special backstory and it would have worked just as well? At the end of the day Chrissy ONLY matters as motivation for Jason, who only matters as motivation for Eddie ( and since Eddie’s death did nothing like. It didn’t seem like he was saving Dustin’s life or anything) who only matters to make Dustin kind of sad? She died for man pain except the ultimate man pain was for some guy she never even met

Chrissy isn’t a person or a character she’s a bafflingly written INTENTIONALLY TRIGGERING and misogynistic plot device with an outrageous amount of minute details they could have given to any of the real characters. They didn’t have to spend 10 minutes pretending she mattered only to beat her to death with a rock and then run over her a few times for good measure

well first of all i am no authority on the topic of whether or not chrissy's struggles with her ed were done correctly and therefore i will not speak on it because its really....not my place as someone who hasn't experienced that!

as for why vecna targets people with trauma specifically, i think it serves a greater narrative purpose and that's depicted best through max's arc this season. vecna's whole backstory as henry shows that he was obviously traumatized himself by brenner and when he appeals to chrissy, fred, and max he attempts to persuade them to just give up/join him/etc because it's easier than carrying on. he's using their trauma against them. and then when max is faced with this threat of losing her life to vecna, it motivates her to want to get better and want to stop isolating herself from lucas and the group, she literally says "i don't want to go, im not ready" and it kinda overall like. saves her life! vecna acts as a narrative tool to explore mental health and trauma and guilt. imo it's much much MUCH more impactful for our characters to overcome him through their bonds and their desire to live despite what they've been through than like.....killing a monster of the week

obv you dont have to agree with me and that's fine but i don't think chrissy is like...a misogynistic charicature in the slightest. like i said before i really don't think chrissy's treatment in the show was uniquely different than fred's or even max's. i don't really understand how chrissy's trauma was "languished in" any more than fred's? i feel like they got equal screentime and fred's vecna vision was just as brutal as chrissy's, even if they talked about two entirely different topics. and if im being completely honest (again not trying to be rude or demean your view of the show, but you did send this ask to me personally so im going to give my honest opinions back) i think referring to chrissy as a "plot device" and not a "real character" is intentionally reading the show in bad faith.

this season is a horror season. people die like they do in any slasher movie. i understand if the vecna plotline isn't for everyone because like yeah watching characters who are already suffering die very tragic deaths is hard! but i think the point of vecna like i said before is to personify trauma, guilt, and shame to allow our characters to overcome those feelings. chrissy's death worked both to establish what vecna does and to involve eddie. but i dont think that automatically makes her a "prop" or a "plot device" because she's given a personality, she's given a lot of thought and care from the actress, she's given people who mourn her. i think it was genuinely one of the sweetest moments in the whole show when eddie dedicated his little guitar solo to her because it showed that her death affected him and in motivating him to want to kill vecna and save his friends from her same fate, it had meaning