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glossdebut · 3 months ago

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take a bite | MYG ★ 7

✧ PAIRING: yoongi x fem!reader

✧ SUMMARY: Your fledgling career as a music journalist is finally going in some kind of direction that must be on the path to success. Your coworkers like you enough to invite you out on Fridays, your boss is starting to think you’re competent enough to let you score a few bylines, and you’re finally getting the hang of InDesign. All of your hard work, late nights, and complete lack of a social life are starting to pay off… Even if it all came at the expense of the longest relationship of your life. Fine. You’ve accepted the fact that romance isn’t for you, under any circumstances. You won’t risk your career for anybody. Not even Min Yoongi.

✧ TAGS: slow burn, eventual smut, eventual romance, producer yoongi, music journalist reader, neighbors to friends to lovers? you’ll see, reader is bad at feelings, reader is post-break up

✧ WARNINGS: copious amounts of FEELINGS both good and bad, theatre references LOL, world-class meddler kim seokjin, yoongi being hopelessly whipped, angst, smut

✧ WORDCOUNT: 10.3k

✧ STATUS: complete

✧ AUTHOR’S NOTE: WOW. i don't even know what to say... with this chapter, take a bite is officially complete. THANK YOU so much to those of you who have been reading from the very beginning and sending me such kind words. this story means so much to me and i can't believe it's over. thank you again to @love4myg for beta reading this chapter and the last!! everybody go give tanni some love. i love you all! i tried to give this story the ending it deserves so i hope you enjoy the last chapter <3

CH. 7: Wanna Do It All Over Again

You’re a planner, a scheduler. You keep a minimum of six to-do lists at a time. You do your best work when your week is clearly laid out for you within the confines of the neat little boxes on your calendar. So you allot yourself one day to grieve what could’ve been with Min Yoongi, and that’s it.

Your Sunday is spent wallowing, because Rina doesn’t give you any choice in the matter and you don’t have it in you to put up a fight. She seems a little bit like she’s grasping at straws on how to help you, though.

You don’t blame her. Rina had dropped everything to be by your side when your ex ended things, but the remedy for that was pretty straightforward.

There was the initial crying on your part—the intense and nauseating kind that felt like it would never stop, until Rina held you and it inevitably did. After the tears came the anger, the picking apart of every little argument you’d had with him, every quirk of his that had soured from endearing to annoying, and Rina had no problem talking shit. Anger turned into drinking, and drinking led to falling asleep in a heap together on your couch.

It didn’t magically fix the hollowness inside of you overnight, but it helped. Rina had a patented method to make a broken heart a little more bearable.

A patented method that, unfortunately, doesn’t really apply here. Your heart isn’t broken over a failed situationship. You’ve been crying, sure, but it’s more of a passive sniffle than anything else. You can’t bring yourself to feel angry at Yoongi either. Confused, annoyed, disappointed, stupid—all of those you can feel just fine. But the anger just won’t come.

Desperate, Rina defaults to cliches. Cheesy movies, ice cream, face masks—the stuff straight out of a ‘How To Get Over Your Ex In Ten Easy Steps’ article in a teen magazine. She paints your nails while you stare blankly at Julia Stiles’ face on your TV. You force yourself to believe it’s helping. You have work to do, a deadline to meet. So if you need to watch 10 Things I Hate About You with Rina and cry it out to cleanse your brain of Yoongi, so be it.

You refuse to use a sick day in general, let alone because of a man, but you do grant yourself permission to work from home on Monday. Not because you’re still grieving—that’s what Sunday was for—but because you look like you’ve been run over, dumped into the river and then fished out.

With greasy hair and puffy eyes, you set your phone to do not disturb and hunker down in your bed to write your profile on Yijeong. Despite the burn of your laptop on your thighs, you type and self-edit for hours, pausing only to listen to your recording of Yijeong’s interview and transcribe direct quotes.

You’re able to churn out a subpar first draft before you burn out around four in the afternoon. Your brain is all over the place, and as a result, the profile is nowhere near where it needs to be. But you don’t have it in you to stare at your laptop screen for any longer.

Rina slipped out this morning and made herself scarce so you could work, so you’re alone. You decide to shower first and foremost, something you’ve been putting off for far too long, and then maybe order dinner if you want to shell out extra money towards a delivery fee.

Stretching your legs as you stand, you use some of your few remaining dregs of energy to drag yourself out of bed and into your bathroom, finally shedding yourself of the sweatpants and shirt you’ve been wearing since Sunday morning.

Your mistake is looking in the mirror. The few marks Yoongi made on your body are only just barely beginning to fade, still dark on your skin. You trace a fingertip over the bruise he’d sucked into your breast just days before, so recently that you can still conjure a phantom of the feeling of his lips and teeth on your skin. He’d wanted you so fervently then that you’d been sure at that stupid party that he already felt what you did. That he’d just been waiting for you to catch on.

You don’t know what you did wrong, what kind of misstep you could’ve made to make Yoongi withdraw so suddenly like he did, but you wish you could take it back.

When you finally emerge from your shower, you’re no more energized than you were when you entered. At the very least, though, you’re clean, and you decide to reward your efforts with tangsuyuk.

When you turn your phone off of do not disturb, you can’t help but hope, just for a moment, that Yoongi has texted you today.

Instead, you find that Seokjin has.

[4:42] Seokjin: If you’re not too busy, can we meet?

The anger that had been missing in action floods your senses all at once.

Seokjin wants to meet you. Seokjin, who you’ve met once. Meanwhile Yoongi, who allegedly still wants to be your friend, can’t send you a cursory text or, god forbid, walk down the hallway to explain any of this to you.

You are not this girl. You have gone through strenuous effort to build very sturdy, very high walls to ensure that you don’t become this girl—the one who loses sight of what’s important to her for a man who will just fuck her over anyway, leave her high and dry. Disappear with no explanation. Fuck that.

If Yoongi isn’t man enough to let you down easily himself, if he’s going to have Seokjin do it for him, maybe you’re better off without any bullshit excuse. From either of them.

You swipe out of your messages, ordering your hard-earned tangsuyuk first. Once the payment has gone through, you open Seokjin’s message again, fingers shaking as you type out your stilted reply and press send.

[5:03] You: i am too busy. and not interested.

Bitterly, you set your phone back to do not disturb. The delivery driver will knock when your food is here, and you couldn’t care less about whatever Seokjin’s reply could be.

★ ★ ★

The rest of the week goes by in a blur, but now that you’re committed to feeling pissed off, you actually feel a lot better. Maybe it’s the man-hater in you.

You hyperfocus on finishing the profile, the words flowing much easier now that you’re done feeling sorry for yourself. Even when you have to write about Suga and his impact on Yijeong’s career, you aren’t the slightest bit thrown off. By the time you’re done, you’re confident that it’s possibly the best thing you’ve written in a long time, and when you hand it off to Rina for feedback she concurs.

On Wednesday morning, you drop the final draft off on Kevin’s desk for approval, and then spend the next few hours helping out where you’re needed. Everyone in the office is in a frenzy to get the layout of Look Here’s next issue together. You spend your day copy editing and calling sources with last minute follow-up questions.

When all of the articles are squared away, you lurk by the design team in case they need any extra hands. In return, you get to watch the paginator type your headline onto the front cover, which is… a pretty cool moment for you.

You usually hate the week leading up to print day, but knowing that Yijeong’s profile is going to be on the cover, you revel in the chaos of it.

You’re slightly anxious when Kevin calls you into his office right before quitting time, but you try not to let it get to you too much. You know the profile is good.

“Y/N,” Kevin says, tearing his attention away from his computer as you step into his office. It’s a good sign, you think, that he’s looking you in the eyes this time. “Sit down.”

You sit, immediately tapping your foot to try and calm your nerves. “You wanted to see me?”

“I read your piece,” he says, leaning forward in his chair to rest his elbows on his desk. But he doesn’t say anything else.

Um… Okay.

“And?” you ask meekly. He looks at you seriously, and your heart jumps into your throat.

“It was incredible,” he says. Fuck, thank god. “You should be proud of yourself.”

“Really?” you ask, your whole body relaxing all at once.

“Really,” he insists. “It was well-written, informative, personal. I don’t know how you got him to open up like that, but I hope you can keep doing it.”

You blink at him. “Keep doing it?”

“You can expect more assignments like that starting next week,” Kevin says, smiling at you warmly. Holy fuck. “We’re all very impressed with you. We want to give you bigger responsibilities moving forward.”

“Thank you,” you blurt out, unable to contain your excitement. “Thank you, I won’t let you down.”

“I hope not,” he hums, amused, before turning back to his computer. “Go home and get some rest. Print day tomorrow.”

“I will,” you say, standing up in a flash. You want to call—Rina, you want to call Rina and tell her the good news. “See you tomorrow!”

“Have a good night!” Kevin calls as you leave his office in a hurry.

As you walk back to your desk to grab your bag, it feels more like you’re walking on a cloud. Holy fuck. You were right. This piece was your breakthrough piece, and you proved yourself just like you knew you could. Nothing can bring you down right now.

★ ★ ★

As it turns out, Kim Seokjin is not the kind of guy who takes kindly to being ignored. Based on what you know about him, you probably should’ve been able to figure that out on your own. But you certainly didn’t expect him to ambush you outside of your apartment.

You spotted Seokjin sitting against your door as you made it home from work, although he scrambled to his feet when he noticed you approaching. You wondered how long he’d been sitting there waiting for you to get him. He looked like he was well-prepared to convince you to let him in, a pre-planned speech at the ready, but you didn’t give him the chance, wordlessly letting him inside.

Maybe you were still riding the high of being praised by your boss, but you highly doubted anything Seokjin could say to you would kill your good mood. If he wanted to defend Yoongi’s honor, he was welcome to try.

Your initial impression of Seokjin was that he was boisterous, silly, and a little bit crude. As you sit across from him, all of that still seems to be true, although he seems intent on doing his very best impression of a longsuffering psychiatrist right now.

He sits primly in the armchair opposite the couch you’ve nestled yourself into, his hands steepled together in his lap as he pulls a serious face. It looks strange on him.

“I’d like to preface by saying that you and Yoongi are both being stupid.”

You blink at him, taken aback, until your expression settles into something unimpressed.

“Nice start,” you say flatly.

“You’re perfect for each other and why both of you are willing to throw it away so quickly is beyond me. It’s giving me a headache,” he continues, rubbing at his temples as if to prove his point. “I’m going to play mediator just this once, and then it’s up to you two to figure it out for yourselves.”

“Does Yoongi know you’re here?”

That makes Seokjin snort. “Are you kidding? He’d try to kill me,” he says, crossing his arms. “No, he doesn’t know I’m here. But he told me what happened, and I think there are some things you deserve to know.”

Yoongi told Seokjin what happened. You can’t help the scoff that escapes your lips. That’s nice for him. You don’t even know what happened. Yoongi certainly didn’t seem to feel obligated to clue you into his reasoning for ending things.

“Why doesn’t he tell me those things himself, then?” you ask bitterly.

“Because he’s stupid,” Seokjin says, snapping his fingers impatiently. “Keep up.”

“Okay,” you sigh, equally impatient. You’ve changed your mind. You want to get this asshole out of your apartment as soon as possible. “We’re both stupid. What is it that I deserve to know?”

“Yoongi-yah may be stupid, but he isn’t a bad person.”

You sit up straight at that. Is he joking? “What are you, his fucking character witness?”

“I’ve been his best friend for over a decade,” Seokjin snaps, clearly tired of your attitude. As if you aren’t justified in having one. “So if I am his character witness, I’m a pretty fucking good one.”

You open your mouth to say something, something venomous at the tip of your tongue, but Seokjin beats you to it, holding his hand up to silence you. “Can you just be quiet for five minutes and let me say my piece? Please?”

Huffing petulantly, you shrug and lean back into the couch, gesturing for him to continue.

Seokjin visibly regroups. You watch as he sits up a little straighter, shakes off the irritation, takes a deep breath.

“For as long as I’ve known him, all Yoongi has ever wanted was to make something of himself,” Seokjin starts, calmer now. “He loved making music, and he didn’t care about anything else. Least of all himself.”

“I got to know him when we were freshmen in college,” he continues. “I’d heard about him from classmates, seen him around, but you know Yoongi. He’s pretty tight-lipped about things, always has been. It’s one of his many faults.”

You scoff, your bitterness cutting through the air. No kidding. That’s how you ended up here, isn’t it? Yoongi’s little omissions, always giving half-truths. The real reason why he ended things with you is just another one to add to the list.

“Anyway,” Seokjin says, his eyes narrowing at you for a moment as he continues. “I was majoring in theatre, and I’d been cast in ‘Into the Woods.’ Yoongi was volunteered by his piano professor to help with the accompaniment, and during our first rehearsal I just remember thinking to myself, ‘who is this scrawny kid who can play Stephen Sondheim with his eyes closed?’”

You wish he’d get to the point already. You’re a sucker for a good backstory, you are. It’s what makes you such a good feature writer. But you’d really like to maintain your resolve in being pissed at Yoongi, if you can help it.

“I was so impressed with him, you know? He does that. He makes everything look so easy. I made it a point to get to know him, and he opened up to me surprisingly fast. I think he needed a friend,” Seokjin continues. “He told me that he was mostly there on scholarships, but he still had to work two jobs to live and pay off the tuition that he did owe. He told me that he utilized the fuck out of the production equipment on campus. He told me that all he wanted to do was make music, and for people to hear it and think it’s worth something.”

Seokjin pauses for a moment, shifting in his chair.

“I think he would’ve done anything to make that happen,” he says, tension in his voice. “I already didn’t like some of the shit he did do, the situations he put himself in, but I think if he knew it could’ve made his dream a reality, he would’ve done much worse.”

Seokjin doesn’t offer up any more information on what exactly Yoongi did, but he doesn’t have to. You gather by the grimace on his face that it must’ve been pretty bad.

“Obviously he made it anyway. You know who he is now,” he says, pausing for a moment. He looks at you seriously. “That comes with its own set of issues, though.”

“Like what?” you ask, disbelieving.

You feel bad for Yoongi, you do. At least for what he must’ve went through in the past. You know what it’s like to struggle, to feel like you can’t possibly reach your goals with the resources available to you. You’re experiencing that currently.

But Yoongi is extremely successful now. Artists trip over themselves to get a song from him because they know it’ll chart, that people will go crazy for it. His track record is that good. How hard can it be, living like that? Having people think so highly of you?

“Like people taking advantage of him at every turn,” he says, his words blunt. “People pretending to care about him to get close to him. Even going so far as dating him. Long-term. Or at least as long as it takes to produce an album.”

Oh.

“…Suran?” you guess, thinking back to the party Saturday night. The way Suran kept touching Yoongi, like there had been something there. Yoongi didn’t seem all that uncomfortable, but he’s got a killer poker face. Could Suran be that kind of person?

“What?” Seokjin asks, bewildered. “No, Suran was just a casual thing. He told you about Suran?”

“I met her. Saturday,” you say, waving a hand dismissively. “They seemed close.”

“That’s been done for years. Yoongi cares about Suran, but it isn’t like that anymore,” he insists, shaking his head. “It was someone else. It’s not my place to say who, but it’s the only time I’ve ever seen Yoongi in love like that. Or at all, honestly. He brought her around all of us, which is a big deal for him. Wrote songs for her. Like, not just for her album, but for her. About her.”

“What happened?” you ask despite yourself. You can feel your resolve crumbling, curiosity getting the best of you. Fuck.

“They were out celebrating finishing the album,” he says. “She wanted to go for a walk after dinner. Kissed him in the middle of the street. The next morning, he woke up to pictures of it all over the internet. She’d texted him, too, breaking it off. It didn’t take much brain power to figure out she orchestrated the whole thing.”

You feel a pang in your chest. As hurt as you are, you also know that Yoongi couldn’t have possibly deserved that. Nobody does.

“He threw himself into his work after that—almost never left the studio. Barely ate or showered,” Seokjin says. “I had to put a stop to it. He was going to overwork himself to death, if I didn’t. I had to help him dig himself out of that hole.”

You chew on your bottom lip for a moment, doing your best to ignore how much that sounds like you. How Yoongi was the one beginning to dig you out.

“That sucks,” you say finally. “But I don’t see what that has to do with me.”

“Come on, Y/N. You’re smarter than that,” Seokjin huffs. Big talk from the man who’s been calling you stupid this whole time. “Yoongi hasn’t dated anyone since then. Hasn’t even shown interest. Until you.”

“That’s not what it was, between us,” you insist. “I thought, maybe…” Maybe it could’ve been, you think. You shake your head to snap yourself out of it. “But he ended it.”

“Because he’s stupid,” Seokjin says. “Because he got hurt, and it made him stupid, and when you asked him if he could get you an interview with Yijeong, he was scared that was your endgame.”

What?

Yoongi thinks you were using him? What the fuck????

“I wouldn’t—“ you start, but Seokjin cuts you off.

“Why do you think I’m here?” he asks, his gaze piercing through you. “You think I couldn’t tell you were going to fall in love with him the moment I met you? The moment I saw you two together?”

Your throat tightens and you have to tear your eyes away from Seokjin. Love is a big word. One you’re not quite ready to contend with, not now.

“…I like Yoongi,” you manage. You can admit that now, even if Yoongi himself never got the chance to hear it. “But just because he got hurt once upon a time, it doesn’t automatically make the way he ended things with me okay.”

“Just talk to him,” Seokjin pleads.

“Look, I listened to what you have to say,” you say, standing up from the couch. “And I’d be lying if I said it didn’t change some things. But I don’t know if I want to talk to him, okay? Maybe it’s better that it’s ended before we got anywhere serious, if we’re both so fucked up over the past.”

“Y/N—“

“Seokjin, I have work in the morning. I appreciate you coming over to tell me all of this, but I’d really like it if you left now.”

You don’t give him much of a choice in the matter. He’s overstayed his welcome. You make it abundantly clear that if Seokjin doesn’t use his own two legs to walk himself out of your home, you fully intend to grab him by the scruff of his neck and drag him out yourself.

Defeated, Seokjin stands up from his chair and makes his way to your front door. You follow close behind, shutting and locking it behind him before he can get another word in.

When you walk back to the couch, you catch Rina poking her head out into the living room.

Shit. You hadn’t even known she was home.

Wordlessly, you sink back into the couch, emotionally exhausted. Rina sits with you, repositioning you so your head is in her lap, running her fingers through your hair soothingly.

You both sit in silence for a few minutes, but you can practically hear the gears turning in Rina’s head. She’s been biting her tongue since Saturday night, being supportive when you needed it, but not pushing. But she was just in your bedroom that whole time, and Seokjin isn’t exactly quiet. You can only imagine what she heard. You brace yourself.

Finally, she breaks the silence.

“He can play Sondheim with his eyes closed?” she asks.

All of the tension seeps out of you at once. You should’ve known better. Of course Rina won’t push you in either direction. She’s your best friend, your Seokjin. Her loyalties will always be with you, and she knows that you need to process everything on your own.

But she’s also a theatre kid.

“Apparently,” you huff, closing your eyes.

“…That’s really hot.”

You laugh, reaching up to swat at her shoulder. “Not helpful.”

“What are you going to do?” she asks, her voice gentle.

That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? What are you going to do? Seokjin made a strong case for Yoongi, but you’re still mad about how everything played out. You trusted Yoongi this whole time to be honest with you, but you keep being made aware, over and over, of how much he keeps to himself. You aren’t sure if you want to fight to be let in, if it’s worth it. You want it to be.

“I don’t know,” you say finally.

Rina hums, continuing to stroke your hair.

“...Do you wanna watch ‘Into the Woods’?” she asks.

You snort softly, sitting up to grab the remote.

“Only if it’s the one with Bernadette Peters.”

★ ★ ★

When Yoongi got his very first long-term gig as a producer, Namjoon brought him a potted plant as a studio-warming gift.

Yoongi thought it was stupid at first, because his studio didn’t have any windows—windows would compromise the integrity of the soundproofing—so the plant would have zero chance of survival. And why was Kim Namjoon buying him a plant anyway? New headphones would’ve been better, Yoongi told him.

But Namjoon had laughed and insisted that the plant—a dracaena, apparently—was extremely resilient. That it could still thrive in the darkness.

“That’s why I got it for you, hyung,” Namjoon had told Yoongi. “It reminded me of you.”

Needless to say, Yoongi became obsessed with the thing.

It was just a small little cutting, just barely starting to grow on its own, so Yoongi researched how to properly care for it and took all of the necessary steps to ensure it would succeed, even in his dimly lit studio.

He watered it, pruned it, measured its growth. He sent Namjoon pictures of it on a weekly basis. He named it—Eodumie, thank you very much.

It took a while, but eventually, Eodumie started to die. Yoongi didn’t know why, so he started doing research on dracaena. He’d put so much effort into helping it grow, so it only seemed sensible to figure out why things had taken a turn for the worse. Run into a problem, find a solution.

Yoongi very quickly found out that Namjoon was a little bit dumb, and that the only ‘plants’ that grow in complete darkness are mushrooms. But he still felt like he’d failed.

When Yoongi is really upset and can’t stop turning a problem over in his head, he resorts to extremely heavy-handed metaphors to help himself make sense of things.

So all of that is to say, Yoongi has a tendency to kill things before they have a chance to grow.

He thought, because you didn’t want a relationship, that you were safe from it. And you were, because he really was okay with being your friend. He didn’t expect any more from you.

But then you asked him if he wanted to have sex with you, and… Well, everything changed then, didn’t it? Not because he couldn’t keep things casual anymore—if that’s what you wanted, he would do it. He would try. You make it so hard for him to say no to you.

No, everything changed because Yoongi is an overthinker by nature. He’s attuned to the rhythm of the world around him, notices patterns where others don’t. Especially when he’s seen them before.

He gave you his mouth, and then you wanted more. He gave you more, and then you wanted a favor. He gave you your favor, and then Suran gave you his identity. You had your favor, and his identity, and then you were all over him, and Yoongi knows what happens next. He’s heard that song before.

Shit, Yoongi’s made that song before, unwittingly. And he’s not interested in writing another duet just for it to sour like the last one.

Metaphors, again.

The point is, he cut it off before he was in too deep. Sex complicates things. For him. It blurs the lines, and he’d much rather do you professional favors when he’s not also seeing you naked. It’s the only way he can keep being your friend, and that’s what you want.

Seokjin thinks he’s being an idiot. Seokjin can suck his cock. Yoongi was doing what he thought was right.

He hadn’t expected to hear from you. Over the past week he’d thought about reaching out and explaining himself every day. But he wanted to give you space, maybe. Or maybe he still felt a little sore about the whole thing. But then, Friday night, you text him asking him to come over and…

Now he’s in your apartment.

In all of the weeks he’s known you, Yoongi has never actually been inside your apartment before, he realizes. Is that weird? The closest he’d been was when he picked you up for the party on Saturday. When he’d lingered in your doorway, looking at you in your pretty dress. Fuck, you looked good. He didn’t want to go to that dumb party in the first place, but you in that dress… He wanted to drag you down the hall, get you in his bed. Take it off of you with his teeth.

It’s devastating that now that Yoongi is finally here, you seem so stiff in his presence. Quiet. Unlike yourself. You’re sitting as far as humanly possible from him on your couch, and Yoongi feels like an asshole. Even when you were literally a stranger, you didn’t feel like this much of a stranger to him. It was instant, the way you’d hit it off. Did Yoongi really make things this way?

“I read your article,” he says, cutting through the silence. Neither of you have spoken since he came in, and the tension is making him antsy. Desperate to break the ice.

What he doesn’t tell you is that he read your article the second it came out this morning, that he’s had alerts on his phone for everything published under your name since the day after he met you. That he drops everything to read it all, no matter what he’s doing.

It was beautiful. It was about one of his best friends, so of course he thought so, but you have such a way with words. It’s another thing you have in common, he thinks. You both have difficulty saying what you feel out loud, but when it comes to work, when you’re writing, it just pours out of you.

“You read my article,” you repeat softly, huffing. Yoongi can’t read the expression on your face, and that bothers him to no end.

“Of course I did,” he replies, brow furrowing in confusion. “I always do. Especially this one.”

“We need to talk,” you say. He watches as you turn your body on the couch, pulling your legs to your chest to face him.

“Okay.”

“I need to talk,” you suddenly correct, voice tight. You take a breath, and then, “Seokjin came over the other night.”

Seokjin… Oh.

Oh, Yoongi’s going to kill him. Brutally. He told Seokjin to keep his nose out of his fucking business and instead of listening and staying out of it, he came over to your apartment? Is he insane? Yoongi’s always thought so, in a mostly loving way, but this is a whole new level of intrusion that he didn’t think Seokjin was capable of, and now he has to die.

“He came here? He had no right—”

“It’s fine,” you say, waving a hand. Yoongi’s unconvinced, but he forces himself to settle, to take a breath. You said you needed to talk, and he’s going to let you. “Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I was going to text you, so… It’s probably good that he did.”

Yoongi doesn’t see how that could possibly be the case, but he stays quiet. Waits for you to find the right words.

“This whole past week, I’ve been so… confused,” you start, your eyes fixed on the couch cushion between the two of you. “Confused, and mad at you.”

“I still am, I think,” you continue, lifting your head to look at him. “Mad at you. But I don’t want to be, because I miss you. You said that you still wanted to be friends, but you haven’t exactly put in much of an effort to do that.”

“I wanted to give you space,” Yoongi says. His excuse sounds hollow, even to his own ears.

You shake your head. “You don’t trust me.”

“It’s not that, I just—”

“Let me talk,” you snap, frustrated, and Yoongi’s mouth snaps shut so fast he can hear the click of it. “You don’t trust me, and that’s fine. I get it. But if me asking you for help bothered you so much, you could’ve just told me no instead of assuming that I was using you as some kind of stepping stone and then just breaking things off without explaining.”

There’s nothing Yoongi can say to that. He knows you’re right. He should’ve just said no the second he felt uncomfortable, but it was just so important to you he couldn’t bring himself to not help you.

“I get why your brain immediately went there, but I’m not going to apologize or act guilty or anything like that. Because I wasn’t using you,” you say firmly, crossing your arms. “Shit, Yoongi, all the times you’ve offered to help me I’ve tried to stop you. My car? But then the one time I come to you first, you assume the worst and shut me out. It’s not fair.”

“I know,” Yoongi says, looking down at his hands. “I’m sorry.”

He feels like the world’s biggest piece of shit. For someone usually so observant, he suddenly feels like he’s been blind this whole time. You’ve done nothing but be upfront with him about what you wanted, and still he assumed you were pulling one over on him. He’s spent the past week feeling justified, feeling like he’d done the right thing, but your words have made his entire mindset shift in an instant.

“The night of the party, I…” you trail off. And then you laugh, which makes Yoongi look back up at you. “Yijeong told me I was special. He said that you hadn’t been to an industry event in years, even when he asked you to. I didn’t know that.”

“It was important to you,” he mumbles, sheepish. He didn’t know Yijeong had said anything about him to you. Looking back now, he realizes how stupid that is. His friends are all world-class meddlers. Clearly they need to be, if Yoongi’s this fucking dense.

“See? That right there,” you say, frustrated. “I thought, maybe… I thought you had feelings for me. Non-platonic, romantic feelings. And for the first time since my ex… Did I ever tell you what happened with him?” you ask.

Yoongi had read between the lines. He knew that your ex had a problem with how demanding your job was, and that it’d ended badly, but beyond that he doesn’t know any details.

He shakes his head.

“We were together for almost four years. Almost all through college,” you start. “He met my parents. I met his. After we graduated, we moved in together. In this apartment, actually.”

Yoongi watches you glance around your living room. He knows that look. Years later, he still remembers what his apartment, his studio looked like when they were occupied by someone else. He remembers every detail.

“I thought we were going to get married eventually. We’d talked about it.” You pull your knees tighter to your chest, looking down. “I got my first job at some shitty newspaper. I worked insane hours and it barely paid anything, but it was a start. I was over the moon about it.”

He holds his breath, waiting for what he knows comes next.

“He broke up with me after two months,” you say, your voice wavering. “He said it was because he barely saw me, that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me if my job was going to be more important than us. It took him less than a week to move out. Four years down the drain.”

Fuck. It’s awful, watching you relive your pain and not being able to do anything but listen. Because Yoongi hurt you, too. He’s the reason you’re digging this up, that you’re feeling it all over again.

Yoongi looks down, picks at his left thumbnail as he listens. He can’t bring himself to look at you.

Your ex is an idiot, he thinks bitterly. How could someone spend four years watching the way you glow when you talk about writing and throw that away?

“I blamed myself. Why wouldn’t I? He told me it was my fault,” you say. “I haven’t been interested in a relationship since. Why try if I clearly don’t have time for it? The thought of you having feelings for me…”

He hears you suck in a breath, braces himself. He thought he’d done a good job of hiding how he felt about you, even after the sex. But he’d made you uncomfortable anyway. Of course.

“It made me want to try,” you say softly.

Yoongi’s head snaps up, his eyes meeting yours. It’s almost insane, the way his heart starts racing in his chest at just the slightest glimmer of hope. You realized how he felt—feels—about you, and you wanted to try? He wants to interrupt you, to ask what that means, but he holds his tongue.

“I think maybe I’ve had feelings for you this whole time,” you continue, looking down at your knees again. “And I just didn’t want to admit it to myself. But when Yijeong told me all of that… I mean, fuck, Yoongi. We weren’t even speaking and you read my article. You helped me even though you thought I was just using you to get ahead. When I hadn’t seen you for weeks, instead of thinking I was a bad friend, you offered up your studio so we could work in complete silence together.”

He would do anything. He would do anything to see you glow. That first night in that horrible Western bar you’d both been dragged to, the way you puffed up with pride when you told him where you work—that’s all he ever wants to see.

“I was going to tell you,” you say. “After the party, I was going to tell you. But then you ended things, and I… I didn’t know why.”

Yoongi needs to salvage this. He needs to know if there’s anything left, if you could ever forgive him for being such a stupid, prideful ass. He hopes.

“Y/N…” he starts, but you cut him off.

“You do this thing where you only give me half-truths about shit, and it drives me crazy,” you say, pointing a finger at him in frustration. “All of the secrecy about your job, who you are, how close you are to Yijeong, why you ended things with us. It seriously makes me want to kill you sometimes.”

You’re right. He prides himself on being an honest person, but he kept things from you on purpose. He didn’t want to let you in fully, to let you see him. He didn’t want to get hurt. But none of that was worth hurting you. He’s going to fix this. He’s going to try.

“Then let me clear some things up,” Yoongi says, sitting up straighter.

He scoots closer, closing some of the space between you on the couch.

Yoongi has never been good at talking about his feelings, not out loud. In songs that will ultimately be sang by other people, sure, but doing it like this makes him squeamish. He’ll get over it, though. You need to hear this.

“I’m an idiot,” he says seriously, looking into your eyes. “I’m an idiot for thinking you would do that to me. I was scared and stupid, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I assumed the worst of you, and that I kept things from you, and that I ended things so suddenly. My past isn’t an excuse. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I should’ve been more open with you, so I’m going to try. Okay?”

You nod once, and he takes it as his cue to continue.

“You were right,” he says, reaching to take one of your hands in his. He intertwines your fingers, staring down at them as he speaks. “About me having feelings for you.”

He hears a sharp intake of breath. He doesn’t know what that means, can’t bring himself to look at you until he’s done verbalizing all of this, but he hopes it’s a good thing.

“I was happy to be your friend,” he continues. “I didn’t expect anything more from you. But yeah, Y/N, I’d be crazy not to have feelings for you. You’re incredible, you know? You’re so smart, so driven, so insanely sexy. I was a goner the moment you introduced yourself to me with a handshake.”

You pull your hand from his, and for a moment he panics, until he looks up to see you using it to cover a tiny laugh. Your eyes are glassy, and although Yoongi hates the idea of making you cry, he feels relieved to know that it’s likely not out of sadness.

“I’m so, so sorry that I hurt you,” he reiterates, pulling your hand back into his and squeezing it. “I never meant to, but I did, and that’s not okay. But if I didn’t completely wreck my chances and you still want to try, I… I promise I’ll do better. I won’t keep things from you, I won’t act without considering your feelings, I’ll do better with all of it.”

You take another shaky breath, biting down on your bottom lip as you process his words. Yoongi feels like he’s going to have a heart attack, tense and pulled taut, but he waits patiently.

The ball is in your court now, Yoongi thinks. This is your decision, as it should be. If you want him to walk away, he will. If you want to stay friends, Yoongi thinks it might kill him now that everything’s out in the open, but he’ll do it for you. But he hopes—

“No more half-truths?” you ask softly, and holy shit.

“I promise,” Yoongi insists. He holds his breath.

“Then I still want to try.”

Relief washes over him instantly, all of the tension leaving his shoulders at once. He didn’t fuck everything up beyond repair. You still want him. Holy shit, you still want him!

“Fuck,” Yoongi breathes, squeezing your hand again. “Fuck, can I kiss you?”

“You better,” you say, and Yoongi doesn’t waste a goddamn second. Instantly, he’s moving your knees so he can fit himself between them, cradling your jaw to capture your lips with his.

God, you taste so good. He’s the luckiest motherfucker on the planet.

Yoongi is just happy to kiss you again, to know that you’re his now. But then you make a sweet little sound into his mouth, slide your hands under his shirt, and he pulls away to look at you.

“Baby,” he says, catching his breath. Shit, it feels so good to call you that again. “We don’t have to do anything right now.”

“Are you kidding?” you ask, pushing his shirt up impatiently. Cute. “After you left me hanging last time? In a suit, no less.”

Yoongi huffs a laugh, grabbing hold of your wrists to stop your hands in their tracks. “I’m just saying, we don’t have to rush into anything just because—”

But then you shut him up with a kiss, which he melts into easily before you’re pulling back again. You look so serious. Yoongi likes you so fucking much.

“I want my boyfriend to fuck me,” you say, wriggling your hands out of his grip to keep feeling him up, and Yoongi is powerless to resist because fuck, boyfriend. “Is that too much to ask?”

He shakes his head dumbly, mouth agape. He’s your boyfriend. You said it.

You laugh, pinching his nipple, and Yoongi hisses as he’s yanked out of his reverie.

“Come on,” you tease, standing from the couch and pulling him with you. “Bedroom.”

Yoongi follows you to your bedroom eagerly, letting you drag him by the arm. You take a moment to shoo Pepper off of your bed and out of the room, shutting the door to keep her out, but Yoongi’s patience only lasts so long. As soon as the door is closed, Yoongi pulls you to your bed, laying you down on your back and kissing you breathless.

He slips his tongue into your mouth, tasting you as his hands slide over your ass to squeeze it. You moan in response, your hips kicking up against his, and he lifts his head to look down at you.

“Tell me what you want,” he murmurs lowly, his lips still brushing against yours. Yoongi thinks he’d give you anything you ask for, especially when you look so sweet and needy beneath him like this.

“Just want you,” you pant, chasing his lips for another kiss. He obliges easily, dipping down to lick into your mouth again.

A part of Yoongi wants to drag this out—really drag it out this time—and tease you until you’re desperate and whining, begging. A part of him wants to see how far he can push you, to make you fall apart so he can put you back together again over and over. But Yoongi’s also not feeling very patient, not when you’re like this. He feels like he’s going to die if he doesn’t touch you right now.

You moan as Yoongi rips your shorts down your legs, arch your back as he slides his hand into your panties to feel you.

“Shit, Y/N,” he groans, sinking his middle and ring fingers into your pussy with no resistance. “Always so soaked for me.”

“Yoongi,” you whimper. God, he’s so addicted to that—the way you say his name when he touches you. If it wouldn’t make him sound like a headcase, he’d ask you to record it. Sneak it into his fucking songs. Let the world know how pretty you sound for him.

“Fuck yeah, let me hear you,” Yoongi murmurs. He sets a steady pace with his fingers, curling them up and thumbing at your clit, and you cry out for him, your face contorting with pleasure. Fucking addicting. “Sound so pretty, baby.”

“M-missed you calling me that,” you whimper, squeezing your eyes shut as you rock your hips up into his touch, and Yoongi’s more than happy to let you take what you need. “Missed the way you touch me.”

“It’s only been a week,” he teases, pumping his fingers faster as his free hand slides over your abdomen and up to your chest to roll a nipple between his fingers. “Am I that good?”

Despite your pleasure, you still reach out to swat at him blindly, and he laughs when your hand connects with his chest. “I hate you,” you complain weakly, but the way your core clamps down on his fingers tells him something else entirely.

“Nah. You like me.” He dips down to lick and suck at your other nipple, satisfaction buzzing through his veins when your hands thread through his hair, grasping at the strands. Yoongi can feel your urgency, can feel how close you’re getting for him in the way your muscles tense beneath him, and he quickens the pace of his fingers in response. “Come on, baby. You gonna come for me?”

“Shit, Yoongi—” you moan. Yoongi feels the tension in your body break, your pussy fluttering as his fingers pump inside of you, and he lifts his head to look.

You look so beautiful when you come. Fuck, he wants to commit everything about it to memory: the flush in your cheeks, the way your lips part in a moan, your eyes shut tight as you just… take it.

“That’s it,” he groans, slowing the pace of his fingers, letting you ride out your orgasm. “That’s my girl.”

After a moment, Yoongi withdraws his fingers, leaning down to kiss you gently. “Okay?” he asks when he sits up on his knees, studying your face as you catch your breath.

“Mmh,” you hum, nodding. Your body relaxes and you sigh, grinning. “More than.”

“Need a second?” he teases, grinning smugly at how fucked out you look already.

“Fuck that,” you say, catching him off guard when you suddenly sit up, surging forward to tug his shirt up and off faster than he can react. The second it’s off, you’re going for his pants next, impatient.

“Fuck, hold on,” Yoongi huffs breathlessly, amused as you struggle to push his pants down over his hips. He stops you, shifting off the bed for a moment to do away with them properly. “Eager, huh?”

“Can’t help it,” you say, laying back for a moment and lifting your own hips to shimmy your panties down your legs. Yoongi can’t help but stare, his tongue running over his bottom lip as he takes in the sight of you. So fucking pretty.

You grin, sitting up again and gently tugging Yoongi closer by the waistband of his underwear. “Yoongi,” you murmur sweetly, and he hums, transfixed by the sight of your hand moving to palm at him through the fabric. “I wanna ride you. Is that okay?”

He inhales sharply, his eyes snapping up to meet yours. He feels his cock twitch in your hand at just the thought of you on top of him, and you smirk. Damn. You’re the smug one now, huh?

“Are you sure?” Yoongi just needs to check. He wants to make sure that this is really what you want, but he’s already moving to shed the last barrier between you.

“Uh-huh,” you confirm, biting your lip as you glance down at his now-freed length, your hand wrapping around it and pumping him slowly. Fuck fuck fuck. Yoongi is not proud of the noise he makes, the pitch slightly higher than his normal timbre. If he doesn’t get inside of you soon he’s going to lose it.

Mercifully, you let go, your attention momentarily torn away as you shift off the bed to rifle through your bedside table. Yoongi moves to the head of the bed, sitting up against your headboard and taking a second to calm the fuck down. He wants this to be good for you, and if that’s gonna happen he needs to be able to not come as soon as you touch him, thanks.

When you return, condom in hand, all Yoongi can do is watch you as you tear the wrapper open, roll it onto his length. Wordlessly, you straddle him, his hands coming up to your hips to steady you.

“Good?” you ask, and Yoongi nods stiffly. He’s so good. How could he not be, with you in his lap like this? With what you’re about to do? You’ve completely turned the tables on him, and he’s so fine with that.

“Just—” he grits out, squeezing your hips gently. “Fuck, go easy on me, okay? I want it to be good for you.”

“It will be,” you assure him, reaching between his body and yours to guide the tip of his cock to your entrance. “Always is with you.”

Yoongi raises an eyebrow at you. “Not if I come in two seconds like a teenager,” he points out.

“I’d consider it a compliment,” you tease. Yoongi inhales sharply as you sink down just the slightest bit, his eyes squeezing shut. He feels your lips on his cheek, pressing a gentle kiss there.

“I’ll go slow,” you tack on, and then you start to ease the rest of the way down slowly, stealing all of the breath from Yoongi’s lungs in the process.

“Shit,” he groans, his head falling back against the headboard. You moan softly once you’re finally fully seated on him, and he squeezes your hips to anchor you there, taking a moment to just look at you. “You’re so pretty, you know that?”

Yoongi’s words are rewarded with a pretty flush on your cheeks and your shy smile. “Shut up,” you mumble. His heart squeezes in his chest, a grin spreading over his face.

“I can’t tell my girlfriend how beautiful she is?” he teases, using his grip on your hips to encourage you to move, tearing sudden, simultaneous moans from both of you as he starts to guide you into a slow, steady rhythm. “How crazy she makes me?”

“You can,” you pant, steadying yourself with your hands on his shoulders, using them as leverage to follow his guidance. “Please,” you add, causing Yoongi’s lips to quirk up in a smirk.

“Such a good girl for me,” he whispers, leaning in to press a kiss to your throat. His hands slide from your hips to your ass, groaning as he grips the flesh in his hands appreciatively. “Do you know how often I think about you? About this?”

“Tell me,” you whimper. You sound so desperate for it, for him, and Yoongi is completely awestruck by you. You’re always telling him exactly what you want, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t want to comply every fucking time. Anything for you.

“Can’t get you out of my head,” he moans into your neck. “You’re so fucking—god, you’re so sexy.” Your hips stutter, and he pulls a hand back to smack your ass once, wordlessly telling you to move a little faster. And you do. “So smart, so passionate. Can feel it in the way you write, but not just that. The way you talk about it, fuck, could listen to you forever.”

You moan, clenching around him, and Yoongi hisses, bucking up into you involuntarily. He’s not going to last much longer, he can feel it, but he can also tell plain as day that you’re just as close.

“Look so sexy riding me like this, too. I’m so lucky,” Yoongi says, sliding his hands over your body as he speaks. “This ass,” he says, gripping it in his hands again. “These tits.” Another squeeze, to your breast this time. “Fuck, your pussy. I could write chart-topping, award-winning songs about this fucking pussy.” One hand slides down, his thumb rubbing at your clit in tight circles. You keen, moaning his name. “How wet it gets for me. The way it tastes, how it feels around my cock. Fuck, Y/N. You’ve ruined me for anyone else.”

“I’m gonna come,” you mewl, and Yoongi can’t help the growl that tears from his throat.

“Yeah, come on my cock, baby, fuck, I’ve got you,” he grits out, planting his feet firmly into your mattress for leverage as he fucks up into you. He groans, his eyes squeezing shut as his hips meet your ass, the backs of your thighs, setting an urgent pace.

“Fuck!” you moan. Yoongi must be doing something right, judging by the way your thighs start to shake, the way your whole body goes taut in his grip. “Fuckfuckfuckrightthere—”

It’s still true: Yoongi will never get tired of the way you look when you come. You just let go, shaking and moaning and digging your nails into his shoulders as you writhe above him. He did that. Fuck.

His rhythm gets sloppy quickly and he pulls you as close as he can as he thrusts up into you, his own orgasm quickly following. Stars burst behind his eyes as he spills into the condom, groaning into the crook of your neck as he slows to a stop.

You pull him into a kiss, both of you gasping into each other’s mouths as you recover. When you tear yourself away, Yoongi feels your hands cradling his face, and he opens his eyes to find you looking at him, exhausted from exertion but smiling.

“I think all of those things about you too, you know,” you mumble fondly, thumbing his cheek. Yoongi’s heart skips a beat. “It’s not just you.”

His hand comes up to rest over yours, a shy smile playing at his lips. “Guess we won’t get tired of each other any time soon.”

You laugh, carefully lifting up off of his lap. “No, I guess not.”

It’s hard to tear himself away from you, but Yoongi drags himself off your bed to dispose of the condom, navigating his way to your bathroom easily. Your apartment has the same layout, after all. When he returns, he uses one of your towels to wipe you down carefully.

Afterwards, he climbs into your bed with you, pulling you close, your head on his chest. For a moment, Yoongi tries to think back to the last time he felt this way, but he comes up short. Even in his last serious relationship, it didn’t feel this way. In the back of his head, even if he wasn’t willing to admit it until now, he always knew something was off about it. But this, being close to you like this, this thing you were both so scared of… It feels so right.

“Seokjin thinks we’re going to fall in love,” you say after a long moment, your voice quiet. Dangerous thing to say, Yoongi thinks, with your head on his chest like this, so close to his traitorous heart.

“Seokjin thinks a lot of shit. Says all of it out loud, too,” Yoongi murmurs into your hair, taking one of your hands to thread his fingers with yours. “What do you think?”

Yoongi knows what he thinks. He thinks he’s already more than halfway there. He thinks this… you and him could really be something. Not for the first time tonight, he holds his breath.

“I think he’s right,” you answer softly, lifting your head to look at him.

As Yoongi looks back at you—his wallflower, his neighbor, his music journalist friend, his beautiful, hardworking girl—all he can think about is that Western bar he didn’t want to go to. The one he was dragged to on some random Friday, not even a wellness check night. The one he could’ve easily said no to going to in favor of staying in his studio instead. Just another thing he owes his friends for, he thinks. This might be the best one, though.

He squeezes your hand.

“Yeah,” he says. “Me too.”

★ ★ ★

EPILOGUE

You didn’t think you were going to make it.

Work has been busting your ass lately, and while you’re endlessly thankful that your career has suddenly taken a sharp turn for the unimaginable—interviewing Lee Chaerin, fucking CL up close and personal, are you joking?—you told Kevin that you had somewhere to be tonight. And that motherfucker still kept you in his office long past five to brainstorm next month’s edition.

Thankfully, you made it out with just enough time to make yourself look presentable in the mirror before making a dash for your car. Unfortunately, you had to forego running home to shower and change clothes, but you did wear a cute sweater and a flattering skirt to work today in anticipation of exactly that situation. Small mercies.

You’re late, definitely late enough for it to be rude, but Yoongi had insisted over and over that this was a completely casual thing.

You love Yoongi, but he’s totally full of shit. There’s nothing casual about meeting your boyfriend’s literal soulmates.

As you stalk towards the front door of the restaurant, you pray that you haven’t completely squandered your first impression before it even begins. Even Rina is making a better one than you—she showed up twenty minutes early. Backstabbing bitch.

Yoongi, ever the gentleman, meets you at the door.

“Will you relax?” he says, exasperated even as he leans in to kiss you ‘hello.’ When he pulls back, he flicks you on the forehead. Asshole. “You texted me your ETA like twelve times. While you drove. This is the furthest thing from a big deal.”

“Says you,” you grouse, slipping your arm into the crook of his elbow easily as he guides you inside. “These are your soulmates. They already love you. What if they hate me? What if they want to burn me at the stake?”

This past month with Yoongi has been nothing short of bliss. You’re both busy, both practically living in your respective workplaces, but sometimes you make time to visit him in his studio and work next to him in silence. Sometimes you come home to find him cooking dinner for you in your apartment and swapping stories with Rina. Sometimes you sleep in on weekends, wake up next to him and admire the softness of his features in the morning, the way Pepper curls up on his chest like he’s been around forever. It’s so good it makes you want to cry. Comfortable. Plus, there’s lots and lots of sex. Sex so good it makes you actually cry sometimes.

“They won’t,” he insists, keeping you close as he weaves through tables to guide you to the private room in the back. “They’ll love you, too. Maybe even more than me. You’re much easier to get along with.”

“That’s true,” you concede with a dramatic sigh, smiling at him fondly. He may be a grouchy hermit, but he’s your grouchy hermit.

When you reach the door of the private room, he stops. You can hear Seokjin’s windshield wiper-y laugh, even with the door closed. “You ready?” Yoongi asks, turning to you with a grin.

“No,” you mumble, pouting. When he runs his thumb over your bottom lip mockingly, you huff at him. “But I guess I have to be, don’t I?”

“Yep,” he says simply, dipping down to kiss you one more time. “It’s gonna be okay, baby. I love you, so they’ll love you, too.”

You hum, grabbing greedily at the front of his shirt to pull him down for one more kiss. “If you say so,” you murmur. “I love you, too.”

You smooth out his shirt and then do a full-body shake to ease your nerves, which makes Yoongi snort. “Okay, I’m ready.”

Yoongi nods, smiling at you fondly, gums showing. You’re damn lucky, you think, to be the one at the receiving end of those smiles. He loves you. It’s so fucking stupid how much he loves you, and how much you love him in return. It’s still new, still a little thing that both of you are learning how to nurture properly, but fuck it’s good.

When he opens the door, the noise of friends inside—both yours and his—filtering out into the restaurant, it’s that gummy smile still lingering in your mind that makes you take a step inside. That, and Yoongi’s voice in your head telling you it’s going to be okay. Because if there’s one thing you know beyond a shadow of a doubt after this past month, it’s that Yoongi will always be honest with you.

He squeezes your hand, and you step inside.

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oh-koenig-my-koenig · 10 months ago

Text

merrily we fall out of line

(over-)protective!bestfriend!könig x reader (gn!pronouns) sfw MDNI slight age gap (reader mid to end 20s, könig early to mid 30s), grumpy x sunshine, (best) friends, mutual pining, (thus a bit) angsty; mentions of cheating (not between them), non-descriptive violence (dito) a/n: my first 'you'-reader fic (instead of the usual POVs i do), be gentle :')

You like König, he’s an old friend of yours, gone for months at a time, but when he is back home, you meet up, talking – well, you are talking more than him, the giant listening to you stoically – just spending time together. As friends, and that’s fine. It’s fine, really.

He has never shown the same interest in you, you’re always friendly with each other, but it is toned-down. Platonic.

So you get together with someone else. You tell König all about it – your new partner and how you met them – when he returns from his latest mission and his reaction tells you that you were right. He doesn’t really say anything, stoic and calm like always. Asking you some more questions. If you are happy in the relationship. Nothing less, but also nothing more.

König even meets the s/o and he’s trying to keep it together, because – obviously you would have never gone for him, he's too intimidating, too old, too closed off for you. At least that’s what he’s telling himself.

But still. The hot raging jealousy he feels as he watches you being touched by your new partner makes him almost see red. It's his own goddamn fault, he should have said something, anything, in all those years, all those moments you spent together, but he never did. Now he only has himself to blame.

He excuses himself from the situation, not able to stay any long, not able to watch the two of you any longer. Leaving, not without whispering a threat to the partner ("be good to them or else") while shaking their hand, and not without squeezing your arm softly one last time, because to get over you he has to stay away.

But König isn’t really able to stay away, still obsessed with you, still keeping an eye out for you, like he did so far. You on the other hand see much less of him, even when he's on leave, as he tries to respect your boundaries.

Can't say the same for your new partner, who rubbed him the wrong way when they first met. And when he follows them one day and catches them cheating on you... on you! The nerve.

He barely can hold himself back as he confronts them, but he remembers you, and he wouldn't want you to see him as a monster, so he stops himself from beating the shit out of them. He seethes: “Leave them or I will take them from you.”

And your partner ruefully breaks up with you, telling you everything except that they were caught by König. It hasn’t been a long relationship, but still, this feels shitty, obviously, tears streaming down your cheeks and sobs shaking you as you call the one person you trust most.

And of course, König comes over, he’s there to pick up the pieces, still convinced that you don't see him the same way he sees you.

He spends the whole evening with you, watching sappy romance movies and eating ice cream, the grumpy big man on the edge of the couch, trying to hide his bruised knuckles. Trying not to come too close and give you your space, but the furniture isn’t big enough for the two of you. Well, for him anyways.

He’s staying because you said you didn't wanna be alone. Honestly, he is a little unsure what to do because you just can't seem to stop crying and he hates to see you like that.

And then he makes an off-hand comment about one of the protagonists of the romance movie you're currently watching, and a sobbing laugh breaks through your sad grimace.

After that all he tries is to make you laugh until you shake with laughter, begging him to stop, your hands holding your tummy, because your stomach hurts.

“Please, I can’t.”, you roar, hiding your face on his shoulder, your tears staining the shirt he's wearing. Wiping the ones away that still wet your cheeks, looking up at him and giving him the first real smile this whole evening.

And he smiles back, a rare occasion.

But then he tells you that he has to go. You ignore the pit in your stomach, the corners of your mouth turning down, before he quips: "If you ever need a shoulder to laugh on, just call me." which makes you laugh again.

"Thank you.", you tell him and before you can think too hard about it, you stretch up and press a small, chaste peck to his cheek.

Only in this moment he turns to you, so it doesn't land on his cheek, but rather on his lips.

His whole world topples upside down when you kiss him, your mouths touching for just a moment, and he rears back, in total shock and awe, not sure what to do now. The one part of him is screaming at him to kiss you back, to grab you, to finally make you his, all the reasons why he shouldn't forgotten about. The other part is trying to be reasonable, especially now after your break-up, just needing a friend, and not.... him.

"I- I'm sorry.", you say when he just sits there, looking at you all dumbfounded. He would have been less surprised if you smacked him across the face.

He shakes his head. "No, don't apologize. I-", he stammers, his words breaking off, and your hand landing on his thigh pulls him from his thoughts.

“König-“

He shoots up, standing up straight, his tall stature towering over you. "I have to go.”, he says, heading to the door and you can feel disappointment seep into you.

"You don't have to go.", you say, following him. It almost seems like he’s running away from this.

He shakes his head again, and when he looks at you, you can't decipher the emotions in his eyes. "I do.", he says, and then he's out the door.

You just stand there in your shitty oversized shirt that you only ever wear at home when nobody else is here, your face swollen from all the crying. All alone again, the apartment silent except for the soft noises and the romantic music from the tv.

Stupid, stupid thinking that he might like you, stupid wasting the first kiss between you two like that, but... it also wasn't intentional. It was an accident. You didn’t mean to kiss him like that. But his lips felt so soft… Their softness and the softness of his gaze in contrast to his tall, muscled stature, his stern features and stoic nature.

You sigh, traipsing back to the couch, letting yourself fall into the cushions, feeling tears prick in the corners of your eyes, burying yourself in the plush. Being left is hard, and being rejected by the man you just can't stop thinking about.... the same day. Fuck.

You groan, hiding your face in a cushion, when there is a knock on your door. Heavy and impatient. You raise your head, your hands wiping away the wetness on your cheeks.

Knock-knock.

The knocking again. You get up from the couch, taking a few hesitant steps towards the door. It must be him. Opening it, and König’s figure fills the whole frame. Looking down at you while you look up at him.

He sees your teary eyes and curses. Something in Austrian German that you don’t understand. The words sound funny, not matching the expression on his face. The frown pulling the sides of his mouth down, the brows furrowed.

“Wanna come in again?”, you ask him, your voice steadier than you feel right now, gesturing into the flat. He does, and you take a step back to let him pass, closing the door behind him.

He makes one full circle across your carpet before he just stands there, swaying from one foot to the other. Seeming anxious, something that happens to him, albeit not so often with you, so you just give him a moment.

“I’m just…” He sighs, deeply. His gaze panning up from the floor to you, and suddenly you irrationally wish you put on some other clothes, before he speaks again.

“That was my first kiss, okay?”, he admits, and your jaw drops. His… first… kiss? But… That can’t be! Not at his age. I mean, you never saw him with anybody, but surely, he must’ve – must have – had his share of partners. At least one?

“Don’t look at me like that.”, he says, a heavy blush colouring his cheeks.

You avert your eyes for just a moment, but they find their way back to his. “I’m sorry, I just can’t believe that you never, uh…”, you try to find the right words.

The muscle in his jaw jumps, a sign that he’s tense. “I did stuff with people before, I’m not a-” He hesitates for a second. “Not a virgin or anything. I just never kissed anybody.”, he swallows. “Before.”

“Oh, I see.”, you say, unsure what else to say. Completely floored by this information.

“I just…”, he starts again. “Most other people only see me with the mask, I… almost never take it off, also during… that, and kissing through the mask would be weird, so yeah.” He rushes through the last sentence like he just had to get the words out.

Moments of silence passing by as you try to collect your thoughts. “I didn’t mean to, you know. Kiss you, on the lips.”, you finally say, your voice sounding a little hoarse. “Didn’t want to take that moment from you. That first time.” You clear your throat, tangling your fingers with each other, fidgeting. “Sorry.”

His eyes widen, slight shock spreading on his face. “No, no, I didn’t mean it like-“

Fuck, this isn’t going how he wanted it to. Maybe he shouldn’t have come back, just let you be. But the look on your face, your gentle plead as he basically ran away, the need to explain this situation, made him turn around again as soon as he stood outside your apartment building.

He takes a step in your direction, his hands shooting out in your direction, almost touching you, before they drop to his sides again. His body is so close to yours, you can feel the warmth radiating off him, just like before when you were sitting on the couch.

You look up at him, tilting your head back. Meeting his eyes, the familiarity of them calming you. And there it is again. That look on your face that makes him wanna grab you, hold you and never let go.

“I imagined for so long what it would be like to kiss somebody.”, he says, quietly. “I imagined what it would be like to kiss you. I just wasn’t… prepared.”

He… what? Tingles erupt in your stomach, making you feel lighter, your mouth dropping open, soundlessly gasping for air, at his confession.

“I didn’t wanna make you cry or anything, but I didn’t wanna, you know, with the whole… break-up and…” He looks down to his feet, sighing. Not saying the thing about ‘Him being him’.

“I thought it’d just be better.” He sighs again. “Better if I go.”

The stupid, stupid feeling of hope fills you at his words which makes you put it all on one card.

“You wanna try it again? The kissing?”, you whisper, taking a step forward, coming a bit closer.

His eyes jump to yours, the brows pulled up in surprise. After a moment, he nods. “Yes.” But he is not moving an inch. The tall man, frozen in place. Looking at you, hesitating, wanting to kiss you so badly, just the tiniest bit afraid to do it wrong.

You lean in, craning your neck. Your hand landing on his chest, firm and warm underneath your fingertips, steadying yourself and getting on your tiptoes.

His breath hits your face a moment before your lips press against his. Pulling him from his frozen state. He leans down, meeting your touch, his arms are closing around you, holding you closer to his body. A soft hum rising up his throat as he answers the kiss.

The gentle brush of his mouth against yours getting a little needier with every passing second, exploring you. So much softer than he had expected. The short peck you accidentally gave him before not coming close to this feeling now.

You stretch up, your arms coming around the nape of his neck. Needing him closer, pulling him down to you. Sighing into the kiss, your mouth dropping open a little bit.

His tongue brushes against yours, his hand gently holding the side of your face, his thumb brushing your cheek. You’re leaning into his palm, tilting your head, opening up to deepen the kiss until the two of you are making out.

Bittersweet, warm. Tasting just like you imagined him to. And a hint of the icecream you shared.

If he didn’t just tell you that he never kissed anyone before, you would have never guessed. Taking his time, slowly, oh so slowly. Maybe a little bit hesitant, but the way his lips brush against yours, the way his tongue is stroking against yours...

A pang of need is spreading down your body, the tingle remaining low in your belly, and he swallows up the sounds you make, not stopping to explore you, and you answer every single one of his touches. Both of you not coming up for air, breathing each other in.

He lifts you up, and you don’t still break the kiss as he carries you over to the couch. Lying down on the furniture, your front against his as you prop yourself up, not willing to leave the kiss. Pressing your lips against his, over and over again, wondering how you could ever stop doing that. Wondering how you never did that before.

“I’m glad we accidentally kissed.”, you say, mumbling the words against his lips.

He laughs a little, a light sound. “Me too.”, he simply says, cradling your face, deepening the kiss again. Something that makes you feel restless in the best way possible.

It feels so new and yet familiar, the way your smaller frame fits against his. He always thought that you are so tiny compared to him, when in reality you are not tiny at all, he is just that big, filling up the whole couch, so the only space for you is on top of him. He doesn't mind at all and you don't either.

Quite the contrary as you lay your head on his chest. Hearing his heartbeat, feeling it against your cheek, still a little faster than it should be. Because kissing you did that to him.

You’re melting into his body, the warmth of his embrace as his big arms hug you. Yawning a little bit, which makes him chuckle.

“Tired?”, he asks.

“Just a little.” Another yawn.

“That’s okay.”, he says, stroking over your hair. Kissing you on the forehead, a small, sweet peck. “Just sleep, Schatz.”

His cheek against the top of your head, his proximity, his familiar scent and the knowledge that you had been wrong – he did indeed like you just the way you like him – makes you forget about all the other shit that happened today as you drift off to sleep, his steady and calm breathing and the soft voices on the tv lulling you to sleep.

Masterlist for all my könig fics <3

#merrily we fall out of line #könig #könig cod #könig mw2 #konig #konig cod #konig mw2 #könig fanfiction #cod mw2 smut #könig smut #konig smut #cod smut #könig x reader #könig x you #könig x y/n #gn reader #Spotify

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bloggingboutburgers · 5 months ago

Note

this past week my qpp of almost two years broke up with me. and i know for you, you said you wouldn't necessarily feel heartbroken if your qpr came to an end, but for me, it felt more heartbreaking than some of my past romantic breakups. this whole thing made me wonder if maybe im not queerplatonic or aro enough to be in a qpr, or if id ever want to be in a qpr again. but seeing you post about your qpr gives me hope that queerplatonic love is something that i can experience fully. so thank you for always sharing your story, because that's what's helping me heal right now <3

Aah, to be perfectly honest, as much as I sorta "downplay" it compared to what it must feel for people who experience romantic attraction... I've had a time where I almost felt like I couldn't go on with my QPP as well and the sheer thought of it was really hard to bear too, so my words here aren't necessarily being very fair to the reality of things.

It was during the travel ban of March 2020 to November 2021 where citizens of my country and others weren't allowed to enter the US unless we spent 15 days in a country that wasn't banned. It made it much harder than usual to visit my partner and as it was nearing 2 years with nobody aware it was going on anymore and US people more concerned about whether they'd be able to have turkey for Thanksgiving, my hope was running really thin. So for a few days in mid-October, as I was at rock bottom, I was starting to write in passing to my partner about how maybe going on wasn't worth it because the separation was too hard on us, it wasn't showing signs of stopping, and the whole thing maybe wasn't worth the pain if they could live their life happily and not have to worry about me who couldn't visit.

And then we videocalled at some point, and when they tearfully told me that even if it did end then and there, they wanted me to keep the promise ring they'd recently given me, I suddenly felt a quiet rage in me going like "No. Fuck this. Look at them. I love them. And I love this too much to allow some cruel governmental decision to end it. If it ever ends, it'll be because WE want it to end. Not because of shit like this."

...I'm making it sound super dramatic but yeah long story short this is also a big reason why we're planning to get married. So that when the US government decides to put a ban on countries including mine again, they can't stop us from vibing together this time.

I guess... I still don't wanna 100% assume we'll be together forever because I don't wanna trap them in a situation they may no longer feel happy in. We're doing great now, but I still have it in the back of my mind that maybe someday they'll get sick of me (they say they never will and that'd be dope if they never did, but never say never and all), or we'll both just want other things, and if it ends like that, then... Yeah, that'd be alright. Much more alright than the way it almost ended.

(...Oh, and for the record, if a friendship of mine ended abruptly, or if my brothers stopped being on good terms with me, I'm pretty sure I'd be just as heartbroken, to be fair. And it'd feel like my reality was collapsing a little. I guess anything ending, any human connection ending, has that effect to a degree, if it's important enough, after all.)

Though describing things like that does make it a bit harder to define what makes it "queerplatonic" as opposed to "romantic", I still... Just have that feeling in my gut that it isn't romance, y'know? It's kinda... A mix between being close friends and being an old married couple without ever having gone through the grandiose passion-honeymoon phase. Maybe that phase IS what defines romance per se. I don't know. Maybe someday I'll find more answers, but it's kinda hard to find answers when you have no idea how romance works to begin with I guess 🙈

In any case... Sorry if I caused any confusion or if I made you question your validity. The thing is pretty simple to be honest: if you feel you're aro, you're veeeeeery likely to BE aro. Because nobody can make that call but you and nobody can name the relationships you have but you. And if amongst everything you even FOUND the words "aro" or "queerplatonic" in a world where those identities and types of relationships are so aggressively hidden or erased, then it's gotta stand for something.

...I guess at the very least THIS I can be certain of TwT Sorry I'm a bit messy about all of this myself, I'm still also going on about it trying to figure it out day by day, but I owed it to you and everyone to be honest. These things are hard to define and I hope to keep finding better and better words to do so someday. TwT

#power of language i call upon thee i believe in you #queerplatonic #qpr #queer platonic relationship #travel ban #anon #long post #i rambled way too much about my life on this one i'm so sorry #i'm sorry for your past hardships too #whatever you live through i hope you're happy and you like the situation you're in #it's all that matters ultimately really #i hope you guys will be ok

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sanspuppet · 1 year ago

Text

GENRE: fluff, smut w a lot of romance (?)

PAIRING: Heesung x afab! reader

W/T: university au, lil bit of jealousy, unprotected sex, biting, swearing, pet name (princess)

A/O: i know that Hee doesn’t have much to do with my blog but this is the ff i wrote for my bestie and i’m just gonna post it so yeah, remember that i’m a multi-stan so i write for many other groups apart from ateez

enjoy <3

———

"come on! it'll be fun!" Jeongin tries to encourage you, his hands begging at your pissed expression because of his hundredth attempt to invite you at his party.

"i don't want to! i don't know anyone of your friends" you reply back with a sharp tone, it’s almost a week that he keeps asking you to come, and he can’t comprehend that you have no intention to go.

"Oh yeah! there's one: Heesung! that guy from class 3B" he winks at you with a smirk already trailing on his face.

"Another reason not to go there!" you quiver, body stiffening the same second he pronounces his name. Actually, if there’s Lee Heesung too, you could think about it a couple times and accept. Through all, he’s the finest man at your university, no doubts he’s your secret crush, well not that secret because it seems that Jeongin has already found out.

"But it's a good opportunity to talk to him!" his voice booms inside the classroom, all of your classmates turn back to look at you, your professor violently slams his palm on the desk: "You two! Better keep those mouths closed during my classes!" you hush a quick "excuse us" before turning back to focus on algebra.

Hours later, when the last school bell rang, you leave the university, arm crossed while walking down the street, with Heesung's smile pictured in your mind and dangerously lost in yourself while fantasizing about him. The stoplight turns red, which unfortunately you don’t pay attention to, you’re about to cross the road when someone thoughtfully grabs your waist, fingertips gripping at your skin, trying to stop you. Your heart flutters intensely, goosebumps on your body as you hear a familiar voice beginning: "you should pay more attention while walking" oh no, you perfectly recognize that voice, sweet but at the same time extremely attractive, you can’t help but turning your face to look at him, panic already flowing into your body. "U-uhm... sorry" Heesung smiles for a millisecond before turning back to his serious expression: "you don't have to be sorry, just wanted to warn you darling" maybe how he called you is the reason why you keep stuttering and trembling like a shy kiddo: "Y-yeah..." you suddenly grimace, confused: "w-why are you here?" you question. "Oh, you didn't notice? i live near your house" you mouth a small "o" before you could even realize what he actually said: "Wait- what?!" he blinks twice, his hands involuntarily still gripping at your waist, a strange feeling intensifying inside the core of your stomach. “i. live. near. you.” he repeats, marking every word, not in a arrogant way, but in a beamy one. When he realizes that you aren’t going to say anything, he approaches you with an another argument: “Well, wanna walk together? I.N. told me that you’ll come at his party” you wide your eyes, following him hesitantly as he crosses the road. “What? No! Nono i don’t like that kind of party” He raises an eyebrow:

“…what kind of party do you like then? like a… uhm” he bemuses, you shake your hands, trying to clarify: “No! I mean… I’m the only girl in the group and i’m quite worried about it” when he turns his head to face you, you can’t believe he purposely holds your hand. “I understand, don’t worry! You know i wouldn’t let anything happen to you, right? Such a good girl, you don’t deserve to get into that kind of shit” you can hear your heartbeat booming inside your head, mind blank as you keep repeating his last sentence to yourself, barely capable to think at any reply. “Please, i want to know you better! Come with me, and you’ll be sure no one will make fun of you, or touch you in any way” he insists, tightening the grip on your hand.

okey, are you dreaming? are you in a coma, after a car invested you? What the hell is happening? All of your day dreams about him seem becoming reality as he’s begging you to accompany him. You’re not conscious of your blushing state in this moment, smiling pathetically, lost in yourself as you’re trying to realize your current situation. And you finally cooe: “Well, if you say so… i’ll be more than glad to come!”

Heesung raises a fist happily: “That’s my girl! i mean… happy to see you again y/n” he stops in front of a small, cute little house. He sighs, taking a heavy breath before continuing: “i live here… alone, so if you need something, you can find me here.” you bow slightly, smiling uncontrollably. “Got it! See you at the party, then.” He keeps staring at you without leaving: “What? So i’m not gonna pick you up?”

“Oh… uhm, yes! yes, sure. Sorry” you beam back.

“Okey, shall we share our phone numbers?” he asks, taking his phone in his hands, ready to take notes. When you’re both sure that the other has the contact saved, Hee shakes his hand and heads towards the door of his home.

The evening of the same day, you can’t help but keep fantasizing about how would it be to spend hours with Heesung at your side. Having him that close to you, would probably drive your mind nuts, but what if he was talking seriously hours before? He seriously wants to get to know you better? Well, if so, you’d surely go to that party. Knowing that it’s quite easy to convince you in anything when it comes to Heesung, you already start choosing what to wear at the party of the next day.

“Mmm” you scratch your chin, looking at your dresses hanging inside your wardrobe. “What should i-“ the loud sound of your ringtone makes you suddenly hop. You check the name written on the screen, snorting when you see the name of your best friend.

“What do you want?” you tilt your head to squeeze your phone between your ear and shoulder, picking your favorite dresses and throwing them on your bed.

“You’re coming?!! God, you fucking drool for Heesung, don’t you???” you hear Jeongin beaming through the speaker.

“Me? No, no absolutely.” you find yourself staring intensely at one dress in particular: the fabric of a soft white, its skirt’s quite short and has elegant lace sleeves. You choose that one, while keep listening to Jeongin freak out from happiness.

“Well, whatever. You’re gonna come too!!!” he starts to giggle joyfully.

“Yeah, now please calm down. Also, i have to go now, bye!” you end the call without even waiting for him to say anything else. The only thing you want right now is staring at the selfie of Heesung that he has set as his profile picture. So you did, laying on your bed, after putting carefully in place your dresses again.

“Ooh… he’s such so handsome and cute”

You whimper seeing the notification of someone texting you appearing from above the phone screen. A pang hits your heart when you realize it’s Heesung.

< Hey, tomorrow the party begins at 6 p.m. Imma pick you up by 5.45, is that okay? >

You smile like an idiot while texting back: < Perfect! >

That night you fall asleep, lost again in the thought of his cherishing smile and how simply gorgeous he always is.

And as soon as you do, as soon you wake up, squeezing your eyes from the warm light of the sunrise. You suddenly grip at your hair, your heartbeat starts accelerating as you process: “The party is today!”

Now that you have realized it, you can’t stop waiting impatiently for afternoon to come. You force yourself to distract your mind, doing chores and your homework, listening to music and practicing the dance steps you learned at your last dance lesson. Doing that you don’t even feel the hours that have passed, making you bounce slightly on the spot as you read what time it is.

“God i have to get ready!” you jolt while running towards your bathroom, starting to do your makeup. You keep checking the time on your wristwatch, and once you have your look done and prepared all the stuff you’d need, you leave the house and chuckle shyly as you see Heesung standing in front of his car a few meters apart from you.

“Hi y/n! How are you?” He approaches you, giving you his hand to help you get inside of his car.

“Pretty fine” you affirm after he joined you inside it.

The short journey was something you could define totally embarrassing, you were frustrated because you couldn’t do anything but stare outside the window and tap nervously your fingertips on the handle. He was the one that after some minutes that seemed eternal hours find the courage to speak:

“Uhm… that dress is so beautiful, matches your vibes a lot” he turns his head to take a quick look of you before his gaze could go back at the road. “Thank you, Heesung” you smile genuinely. He giggles back: “Oh please, just call me Hee. We’re friends after all, right?” what your previous smile seemed full of happiness, it quickly turned into a wounded one. “Yeah… friends”

———

Once you enter the apartment, you didn’t expect it to be so well organized: cute colorful balloons fill the living room, yummy snacks all over the table followed by soda and other drinks, background music to keep the welcoming atmosphere. When you step out the entrance you immediately see Jeongin’s friends casually chatting on the small couch.

“Naur way look who’s here!” Jake exclaims as he notices your figure standing in front of them. You chuckle at his funny Aussie accent.

“Yeah personally i know you couldn’t wait anymore to see me” Heesung smirks, heading towards Jeongin who’s trying to inflate other balloons. “Hyung i think these are enough, yeah?” he whispers at him, noticing his red, overworked cheeks.

Jake turns his head to look at Hee, grimacing: “What? No i meant y/n! Didn’t expect you to come” He approaches you, with the intention of hugging you friendly. After he pulls away, the other boys stand up to do the exact same. You thank Jay, Chan and Beomgyu as they compliment your curated look.

You spent a couple hours on watching a comedy show and laughing together. Your body stiffened any time you felt Heesung’s hand resting (apparently) innocently on your knee, when you saw him facing you while giggling as he enjoyed the film, it seriously looked like you were a couple, and you weren’t the only one who noticed that:

Chan’s gaze suddenly went to your knee, as he saw Heesung rubbing his hand on your skin.

“Are you hiding us something, guys? Seems like you’re very comfortable together.”

Chan’s your ex, so you could tell that his voice had some point of annoyance when he spoke.

“Yeah! I was about to say the same thing” Beomgyu smirks, moving his eyes on you and the fine guy who’s sitting next to you.

“Oh, it does? Sorry if i might stole her from you” Heesung appeals with his cocky smile.

“It’s not up to you, Hee” Chan replies, a slight look of arrogance on his face surprises you. “Right, y/n?”

“Uhm… well…” you struggle to find any appropriate answer, but nothing comes to your mind. Jeongin fortunately saves you from that embarrassing situation:

“Let’s play a game!” He stands up, turning off the tv. Jay and Jake that were still focusing on the program, whined at him.

“Fine” Heesung stands up, searching for your hand and heading towards Jeongin. A smirk pops into the childish friend’s face, he crosses his arm looking intensely at the both of you through his hooded eyes.

“Y/n, truth or dare?”

The moment after the other guys heard that iconic question, every one was sitting on the rug in a circle, waiting for their turn as they joined the game. It was quite fun, most of the dares were hilarious that got you almost rolling on the floor from laughter, but once it got repetitive and your friend seemed bored, Jeongin once again proposed you:

“Y/n, truth or dare?” this time his gaze is mysterious enough for you to suspect he planned something.

“Uhm… dare?” you murmur, not sure if you chose the right answer to keep your dignity.

“I see” Jeonging looks straight at Heesung on your left, before moving his gaze on you again. “Kiss Heesung”

Loud “Uuuh” fill the atmosphere as the guys find finally a captivating idea, everyone but Bangchan, who seems about to kill Jeonging with his stare and choke Heesung before he could touch you.

Panic starts to rush inside your veins as you turn your head and see Heesung smirking, you can feel the eyes of all the others stuck on your lips, waiting impatiently for you to make a move, but nothing, you couldn’t even elaborate any conscious movement. You’re like a greek statue, immobilized, your eyes focusing on nothing but Hee’s lips, your hand standing steady on the ingenious intent of wrapping it around his waist. Heesung chuckles: “y/n? are you’k?” he snaps his fingers in front of your face. “Fine, I’ll do it myself.”

What it took least than two seconds, felt an entire minute for you.

You feel Heesung carding his fingers through your hair, before falling on the nape of your neck to pull you closer to his face, the tip of your noses rubbing against each other as he’s moving his lips closer and closer to yours. It felt warm, and soft, something you never experienced in that way, you could immediately tell that you would be addicted to his lips, if only he could be yours.

Heesung pulls away, exhaling a soft laugh as he holds your hand. “You good?” he asks, you nod: “Yeah. Yeah i’m good” you murmur, smiling a little before turning your head to face the others. Beomgyu, Jake, Jay an Jeongin are hyping the both of you, on the other side you can notice Chan squeezing his fists as he keeps staring at you. “What’s wrong with him?” you question yourself.

Jeongin giggles at you and Heesung: “I meant a peck on the cheek but well, this proves that you like each other! Thank me later guys” he stands up, taking the bowl of chips and starts to chew a few.

“W-wait- What?” your mouth hangs open, while Hee is simply smiling at you.

The rest of the party went great, you had funny conversations and ate tasty food.

Later, you head towards the exit, where you left your jacket and phone, you barely even check your new notifications, that you feel a hand resting on your shoulder, you expect it to be Heesung and uncontrollably smile, but once you turn your head to see his face, you find yourself a few inches away from Chan. He’s moving closer to your lips to steal a kiss from you. You pull him away, smacking your palm against his face.

“What the hell are you doing? Huh?” you screech.

“Come on, don’t act like you don’t want it, we were so perfect as a couple, you look better with me than Heesung” He gets closer to you slowly once again, but you’re too concerned to move. You jolt as you see someone pulling Chan away from you by grabbing his shoulder.

“What’s going on here?” Heesung looks at you before moving his annoyed gaze to Chan. “Why would you care?” he replies, with his arms crossed.

“Because she just rejected you a few seconds ago, don’t you get that she doesn’t like you anymore?” you can’t articulate anything before he wraps his arm around your waist and yell at the others in the living room.

“Guys, it was fun but now i have to take y/n home, see you on Monday” Heesung takes your jackets and leaves the house with you squeezed in his arm.

Not long after he stops in front of his house, you’re still confused from why he reacted like that before, you don’t realize that it isn’t actually your house. Heesung gets out of the car. “Come with me” he called you, heading towards the door.

Once you’re both inside, he turns to look at you, taking your hands in his. “You’re not interested in Chan anymore, right?” you nod: “Yeah, i’m not.” he lets out a relieved sigh. “Good, because i like you” you start to mumble incomprehensible words. “U-uhm…” Heesung notices that your cheeks are turning into a blushing state, making him chuckle. “You don’t need to say anything, just kiss me already, okey?” he slowly approaches you, getting closer enough for you to feel his warm, deep breaths against you nose, his hands are trailing soft lines on your back, sending you shivers down your spine. You automatically raise on your tiptoes, holding yourself onto his shoulder. You start to leave small pecks on his hot lips, struggling to stop because of the warm feeling of his body. Hee chuckles between every kiss: “i see, you love me, don’t you?” you giggle against the crook of his neck: “Yeah, so much.”

“May i take care of you? Show you how much do i love you, too?” he leans over you neck to inhale your sweet scent. “Mark you as mine, so you won’t get bothered by other guys?” you take a few seconds to realize what he actually meant with those words. “Uhm… i don’t know…” He caresses your cheek, attaching his lips on yours another time. “Don’t worry, it won’t hurt. Please, let’s be each other’s first” You chuckle: “I can’t believe you’re still a virgin” he wides his eyes, smiling: “Why?? I had only a girlfriend when i was 14, you’re the one i fell for, after a long time.” you bite your lower lip, looking down to avoid eye contact. “It’s just that… i’m worried i won’t be good enough” he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him as he walks backwards, heading towards what you figure to be his bedroom. “You’ll be perfect as always, my little princess” you can’t help but blush at that new petname, that stole another smile from you. A few seconds later he’s opening the door with you still holding at his waist. He sits on the edge of the mattress, looking up at you with doe eyes. You suddenly get shy as you realize that you started unconsciously to strip, hiking up slowly your dress as you expose your bare legs and stomach to him, the man that you craved for three years. He holds himself on his wrists, watching carefully every detail of your body, already struggling to contain any reaction from his body. “Oh god, you’re so beautiful” he murmurs, biting his cheeks to avoid any flustering sound. You jump onto his lap with your legs wrapped around his waist, Hee starts to kiss you deeply as you busy yourself by unbuttoning his shirt. Your tongue dives into his mouth, while trailing your hands all over his naked chest. You push him, getting him completely layed on his bed. You’re still asking yourself where did you find enough confidence to do all of this, when you bite on his neck, smirking against his red skin. “Untie it, Hee” as soon as he hears you, you feel your bra falling off of your body, hearing it thrown on the floor. Heesung grabs your waist, forcing you to switch your positions. You see his unmistakable smirk glued onto your face, but it doesn’t take long before he moves it down your breast. “Are you sure you’re ready, princess?” he asks you, caressing your waist side. “i trust you” “Glad you do, baby” he stands up, untying his belt before unzipping his jeans. Not long after he throws them on the floor, then focuses again on nothing else but you. Hee leans over you, making his way down your body with small kisses, once he reaches your lower abdomen, he slowly drags you panties down your legs. “So pretty, tell me…” he stops by biting slightly on your hips. “Want me to wear a condom? I’m clean, just to let you know.” you shake your head. “I’m too, and on a birth control” Heesung nods, positioning himself between your wided legs. “Got you” you breathe heavily, when you watch him dragging down his boxers, inhaling the air deeply to force yourself to slow down your heartbeat. You squeeze your eyes when you get to see his cock standing between your wet core. It’s just about a few seconds that you finally feel him burying himself inside you. He lets out a sweet groan, holding his breath when you involuntarily squeeze around him. “Fuck, didn’t expect it to be this good” he slowly pulls out, trying to feel every sensation. “Do you like it?” He watches your aroused face. “Yeah, please, go on” You watch him smirking through your eyelashes. “Didn’t hear you, may you repeat darling?” you sigh, smiling. “Huh, please i want you”

Heesung holds onto your knees, making sure you stay spread for him, while he slides into you another time, then out, repeating the same movements as he speeds the pace. You try to stay still, gripping harshly at the sheets beneath you, your eyes roll back as you feel him touching your sweet spot with every thrust.

“Fuck- just like that, please” you mewl, letting out whimpers when the pleasure builds tension inside your lower stomach.

He moans back once. “Never thought you could make such sweet noises.” he smiles, eyes shut as he feels himself getting closer to his climax. Surely the way you keep clenching around his length doesn’t help him to last longer, and surely the fact that his tip’s kissing your g-spot continuously from minutes is getting you to the edge very quickly. You let out a broken, high pitched moans when you feel pure arousal hitting your body, making you arch your back from pleasure. “Fuck- faster, now!” he does immediately as you say, slamming his pelvis against your thighs gap as fast as he can, the sound of your skin slapping against each other’s booms inside the room, followed by nasty, squelching sounds at every pump. Heesung leans over you to help himself thrusting into you better. “So close~ cum for me princess” Your breathe loudly, as soon as you cream around him you feel hot ropes of his cum shooting inside you. His thrusts become sloppy when he slows down, pulling out after a few more pumps.

“You’re so beautiful right now, all fucked out because of me, i think i like you better like this.” he leans over to steal another deep kiss, his hands reaching instinctively your bare breast. “You did so good for me, you need a treat babe” you smile the best you can, still trying to get down your high. “Like…?” Heesung leaves a small peck on your right cheek. “What about a warm bath? I said i’m gonna take good care of you.” he cards his fingers through your hair, caressing your forehead.

“Will you let me do it forever?”

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spiderrmax · 2 years ago

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main 4 + s/o on their period

request: can u do like the main 4 x s/o on their period 🙏🙏 author's note: the request didn't specify pronouns so the reader is written as gender neutral but is afab! also a lot of this is based on my experience w my period

Stan Marsh

Knows the most out of the boys due to his sister + his mom

Is still a bit awkward about it though, but won’t shame you for it. knows you can't control it

A bit embarrassed about buying you menstrual products but also knows it’s worst for you so he just keeps his head down.

Doesn’t mind lying with you if it helps. Will do the thing where he holds you from behind and places his hands over your stomach in order to provide some comfort

Knows what kinda snacks his mom and sister have when they’re on their period so he makes sure to get those kinda things.

Is sympathetic if you’re emotional. Won’t understand why you’re crying about a spoon but won’t make any rude comments to you or anyone else.

lets you borrow clothes if you want something loose to wear. also likes seeing you in his clothing :)

Kyle Broflovski

Doesn’t know a lot before dating you because he never cared to learn. His mom probably told him the basics but that’s it

But! Does so much research once he gets into a relationship with you.

Will bring over snacks that he read were beneficial for periods.

“I read that bananas are good for your period because of the potassium.” You call him a nerd but it’s very sweet

his sweetness causes you to cry because he's a "good boyfriend" and he panics while also being happy you think so much of him

Will try to provide advice based on his research but also knows that sometimes the best thing he can do is just lay with you and watch some stupid romance movie.

Also doesn’t mind buying menstrual products! Probably would get shit for it but just argues that his friends are single and wouldn’t get it

Eric Cartmen

Knows nothing about periods; might call you gross at first

Won’t buy you menstrual products, but if you are dating for a while he’ll probably buy something to have at his house. He won’t mention it though, it’s just there one day.

However he has his good moments. One time you bled through your pants and he let you tie his jacket around your waist because you didn’t have one.

Of course he covered it up by saying he couldn’t be seen with a mess and you’d just embarrass him, but you know he means well. His tell is that he won't make eye contact

Would probably say something that’d accidentally upset you, but would awkwardly console you until you stop crying.

Shares his food with you if it’s something you are craving. Gets to the point where he just automatically gives you a piece while his friends stare in shock.

He's probably the best to cuddle with on your period! He's really warm naturally and that would help with any cramps or soreness

Kenny Mccormick

Also knows nothing about periods. Probably died and missed sex-ed

But! Will ask you a lot of questions to know specifically about your period.

If you send him to buy menstrual products, he will get lost. Send him with a description of the product you want. Would accidentally buy panty liners thinking they are pads

Would love to cuddle if you’re up to it! Has no problem laying in whatever way helps you. He is at your disposal

Will console you if you’re upset; lets you place your head in the crook of his neck if you’re crying about something. gets that it makes you emotional. you two will laugh later about some of the things you've cried about.

if he's at your house, will def try and make you food to eat. will pop popcorn or make boxed brownies. sometimes they don't turn out great but hey. he means well

Rents movies if you just wanna relax. he's so go w the flow. just listens to what you need and will do it!

#south park x reader #stan marsh x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #eric cartman x reader #kenny mccormick x reader

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growling · 10 days ago

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I think I have way more of a chance being aplatonic in Poland because of the uhhhh *gestures* you know the. Friendship thingy in Poland. Actually nevermind I wanted to cryptically stop the post right there but do yall wanna hear about the Poland friendship thingy

Okay so most Poles (uppercase or lowercase??? I mean I know all adjectives like polish are lowercase in polish but uppercase in english but what about. whatever) are pretty flabbergasted at English and American people using "friend" so freely and for almost pretty much anyone they positively interact with for an extended period of time because in Poland you ever have only one (or perhaps two, if you're lucky) True Friend in your entire life that's an unbreakable bond that's gonna last until the heat death of the universe, you don't just throw that around lightly, and the rest of all the people you really like are just acquaintances or pals or mates or vodka buddies. It's less about Hanging Out Often and more about trust.

I don't even personally think that the english word "friend" and polish word "przyjaciel" mean the same thing or should still be translated that way as if they do because. Przyjaciel is not just friend sorry. Deeply tragic that the english language has no word for przyjaciel if I think about it for a moment. "friend" as it is commonly used in English and American culture etc is more akin to the word "kolega" meaning acquaintance/buddy/mate/pal/fellow/guy i like but won't leave my wife and kids for. I practically never even hear of people here even calling each other "przyjaciel" because it's kind of a heavy word that could put a burden on the person you're calling it (with the expectation that either they or you will drop everything to always help each other through any hardship and shit) especially if the feeling's not reciprocated. I know for sure none of my parents or anybody in my family that I know of have "friends".

It's still used by little kids and in cartoons for them, because as a kid it's just usually so much easier to have close relationships like that lmao, but as soon as you start growing up it just stops lasting (unless you REALLY are committed to each other) and you're effectively friendless forever unless you find yourself a Guy to live out a traumatic slowburn romance fanfic together except it's completely platonic or something. I mean people still think you're weird for not socializing enough but to a way lesser degree. My tumblr experience is just Devastating Culture Shock one after another with it's usual platonormative posts going viral every 2 seconds.

Do you like me infodumping about Poland . I will do it again

#also just found out some people actually find polish honesty and meanness endearing. awwww that's right worship me now #i should polishpost more tbh i hardly ever see anybody on this site even type in their own language anymore besides just english...........#(<- obviously only applying to people whos native language isn't english. obviously. i don't feel like i gotta state that but you know)#mine

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samstclair · 1 year ago

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Tony Soprano's Goomah

Tony Soprano X Reader

Anonymous Request -

Hiya Saint Samuel!!!!! So listen to this, I've just started Sopranos, you know, the HBO show? Anyway I've come to the conclusion that Tony is exactly my type. He's brought out an inherent and animalistic part of me I never realized was there in the first place. Like, a strong attraction to alpha men. I'm not that far in the show, but I love the idea of him taking me to dinner at Vesuvio's, you know, Artie's restaurant? I love that he supports his friend's small business when he's not busy blowing it up! So could you come up with an imagine about the date? Let me know!! Thank you!!!!

P.S. - I love your work but please keep this one short! It's gotta be a quickie before bed!

Word Count: not that long tbh

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It's so gloomy out," you said, face souring as you looked out the window of your apartment. "It's always gloomy."

"Um, where the fuck do you think we're at? It's New Jersey," your friend, Snooki, said. "That's why I only like the shore. It's different out there."

You smiled. Her thick Jersey accent always threw you off but it felt so warming. You forgot people actually talked like that. She'd come to visit you from the Shore to help you get ready for your little date. She was filming a season of her TV show, which you didn't completely understand, but nonetheless you were supportive cause you always supported your girls. That's just how being a girlie works.

"So who's this guy anyway?" Snooki asked as she began to flat iron your hair, clouds of thick smoke rising from it as it fried your shit straight. "You're so like, secretive about him. You never ended up telling me."

You blushed, living for the idea of this little forbidden-esque romance you and Tony had.

"I didn't tell you because I'd only just met you, I had to make sure you were a girl's girl first, you know?"

"And when was that?"

"When I found out you were down to help hide me go into hiding from the stupid ugly IRS men-in-black people, THAT'S when I knew."

She smiled to herself, she DID that.

"Anyway, and I couldn't tell you over the phone cause you were on that stupid duck phone. I didn't want the show to be recording my business, silly," you said, "plus, those guy friends you have there are creeps. I don't want them knowing my business, either."

You shuddered at the thought of those overly-tan, Ed Hardy cologne smelling boys. You didn't trust them in the slightest. After one of them called you a grenade because they caught a glimpse a single stretch mark, you knew DAMN well they had never been connected to any basis of reality and therefore not REAL.

Except Paulie, you didn't really mind him, if you catch my drift if you catch the flow! ;). He was lowkey a girl's girl.

"So tell me now! I'm so over waiting!" she whined. She really was over it. You loved holding back information some times just to create a little suspense. A little of that never hurt no one never hurt a FLY.

"Well, what do you wanna know?" you smirked to yourself.

"Is he Italian?"

"Oh, def."

"Is he tan?"

"Oh, no."

She suddenly stopped the ironing and gave you an annoyed look in the mirror. You knew that was a no-no in Snicker's book. "Then why are you wasting your time?"

"Because he's just hot, like, I don't know how to explain it," you really didn't. When you first met, you just found it odd how insanely attracted you were to him. You just were. It made you feel like a middle-aged mom. But who cares? EXACTLY! "He's low-key, rich, high-key. He works in like, garbage disposal or some shit."

"That's what they say when they're in the mafia." Snooki said, continuing to iron your hair.

"I did my fair amount of business with Italians back in England, I know what the mafia looks like." Of that, you did. But that was your old life, you were supposed moving on. The Queen is dead, after all. Don't push!

You wish you could tell your girlfriend more, but you had to remind yourself that you were under a different identity - as you mentioned before, the IRS are actually a bunch of Debbie downers and negative Nancies who wanna see you, just a girl, down. They hated seeing you, just a girl, succeed, and that's not cool or cute. They ran you out of the country once, but not again. You were a full, beer-blooded American and that's that. (if ur reading this and not American just pretend you are! Who wouldn't want to?!)

You met Tony through the Italian connections you had in England, and once you knew you had to escape back to America, they were the only allies you knew that could help smuggle you in like the cocaine in little baggies shoved up the asscracks of a flight attendee. If it weren't for that, New Jersey would have definitely NOT been the first place you had in mind to arrive in.

Once the Italians brought you through, they directed you to this deli place called Satriale's after you moaned and groaned about your tummy rumbling. You kept joking that you were a different person when you were hungry, what you dubbed as the "hungry monster", over and over. Safe to say, the Italians soon grew increasingly uncomfortable with that and your other incoherent ramblings about food and decided you needed some gabagool.

Let's just say - you went to absolute fucking town on those slices of meat and cheese. All those thoughts about becoming a vegetarian? Yeah, out the window they WENT.

You assumed that none of those Italian-Americans knew that a girl could fucking eat, because they looked at you with both horror and confusion. Also, a little concernment. You also learned the complete difference between Italian and Italian-American, as if that horrendous atrocity that is your bff Snooki's Jersey Shore season 4 wasn't enough to learn from.

As you were munching away on what you were sure was only your third slice of 'salam' (salami), (it was actually your eleventh), the door swung open along with the little bell atop ringing. That wasn't what broke you out of your trance, no, no it would take a LOT for that to happen in the state you were in, but it was who....

"Hey, sweetheart, save some for the rest of us, huh?" He giggled, his other goons giggling behind him.

You looked up. You hated being spoken at while eating. It was really a trigger.

But there he was. Tony.

Tall, big, low-key balding, leather jacket and Goodwill's men section polo with some khaki pants, cigar in hand, under-sized gold rings and necklaces bulging, and a whiff of men's cologne (probably an Italian designer's).

You were stumped. Stunned. Stupefied.

So were they. They watched you, waiting for some sort of response whether it was verbal or physical. Instead, they were given your mega disassociation-state, blank expression, mouth full with a slice of meat in one hand and a slice of cheese in the other.

The entire deli went silent - it was literally as if there was a cowboy standoff going on like some Western film shit. A Spaghetti western here, perhaps?

"Fuck's wrong with her?" one of his minions asked. You later found out this was his wannabe Aaron Sorkin nephew Christopha.

"Hey, Ton', I think you broke the poor broad!" the other said, who had crazy white streaks of hair. This was his other minion, Paulie who giggled with the possible case of Tourette's syndrome.

"Ayyeeee, sweethaarrttt," the other said with a grumpy face and crazy hairline, (Silvio), "what's tha matta?"

You didn't know what the matter was. And honestly, neither did Tony.

All you two knew, is that you were both locked IN. What you didn't know at the time, was that he realized he had landed his eyes on one of the most beautiful, fine ass women he'd ever seen. And man was down BAD! Of course he was, girl, LOOK AT YOU!

(For realsies all respect to Carmela she did not deserve any of Tony's caca!)

"Who the fuck is this?" he finally asked, somewhat angrily. He wasn't angry, just taken aback someone had defied him as much as you did in that moment from that face off. And that's just the regular tone of how a lot of these people talked, which you ALSO later learned.

"I'm me," you said back.

The three minions behind him all raised their brows in shock. They couldn't conceive a girlie, like you, could sass just as hard back. That response ALWAYS worked.

And that was that. You two were history <3.

You then met Snooki at a bar later that same night and she let you stay at the Jersey Shore house for a bit until Tony gave you enough money to get your own spot. And now, here you two were. Some full circle shit.

So yeah back to your apartment WE'RE BACK AT THE APARTMENT!!

You were in the midst of a rant to Snooki about beefing with your hairstylist, the same lady who bleached your hair and unknowingly participated as an accessory to concealing your real identity from authorities.

"...and so I was like, I want a bleach and tone, like can you do a bleach and tone for me please, like smiley face emoji and she was like tone? (question mark) and I was like, a bleach and tone, like, a bleach and tone, like a bleach and tone, like what do you mean tone, like? Like after you bleach it, can you tone it, like make it not brassy, and she was like 'oh oh I understand' and put, like, the blonde princess emoji and I was like, okay I'm glad you understand."

"What a fucking dumbass," Snooki laughed, finishing your hair. "I can just give you the number to my hairdresser, just let me know."

You heavily considered. A couple chunky stripe black highlights here and there? Some reverse raccoon shit? SHIT!!!

As she wrapped up, you admired yourself in the mirror. Your other girlfriend, JWoww, had done your makeup but had to leave early to let out her dogs at her house. She'd done the full Y2K trashy mcbling look - black smokey eye with glitter, heavy on the contour, thin ass brows and a nude lip. You looked like a Pamela Anderson variant and you were fucking it up!

After taking some grainy ass photos on your hot pink bedazzled camera, Snooki hyping you up some more and pregaming with you before your date, you got a text!

"I've got a text!" you said like a Love Islander.

"Oh my god, is it from him?" Snooki asked, drinking the remnants of the Ron-Ron juice she made, the only good thing he's ever been associated with.

"Oh, fuck he's like - he's like here! He's here!"

You ran towards your window and peeped your head through the blinds - he was indeed here in his red Chevy. A wave of anxiety flushed over you - but you weren't sure why? You were literally his 'goomar' or 'goomah' however you spell it and this definetly wasn't your first time on a date with him. But every time before one, you felt like you needed to shit yourself. He just made you all nervy! Like, that's a MAN RIGHT THERE!

"Oh, fuck Snooki," you said, frightened. "I think I need to go."

"You're kidding. You don't have time! You said he made a reservation, right?"

"Oh, I don't know. He just walks into anywhere and he automatically has a reservation for that exact time. You really think I can't go?"

"I mean, how fast can you go?"

You ended up going. And you were fast.

It was a quickie, definitely not ALL that needed to come out, but it was something for now. You knew your body too well. As you hit that flush lever thingie, you saw all your anxiety go down with it. You were ready, renewed, and refreshed. THOSE are the real three R's for saving the planet. You also smoked the last bit if your blunt, a 'roach' if you will, to see if that could calm your nerves. Spoiler - it didn't. Girl there was less than an inch left the fuck did you think that would do.

As Snooki was closing the front door, she yelled somewhat drunkenly "YOU'RE FUCKING HOT!" It definitely gave you a little pep in your step, to say the very least. Your heels clicked and clicked down that staircase, you felt like Rose in Titanic to Jack in that one scene.

Tony exited the car, admiring his view. Snooki was very right. You were eating it UP LIKE THAT BITCH!!

You had a slip on sequin dress, not too clubby but not too dressy, low-key classy and a little not too shabby? Your hair was all done up and your hoops dangled from your ears. You smelled of some sweet Nicki Minaj's body spray from TJ Maxx.

A cloud of cologne (a good cologne, one that you secretly stole for him also from TJ Maxx) hit you as you and Tony embraced. Even with your heels, he still stood over you like a fucking wall. You got why the gays love their bears.

"How do I look, Tony?" you asked. You knew your answer you just fucked with compliments.

"You look beautiful, hun. Like an old Hollywood actress. Let's get goin'." He opened the passenger's seat door for you like the gentleman he was and closed it behind you. Once he was in the driver's seat, you two were off.

It was now Christmas time - so the aesthetic was KICKING! Lights were all around on people's houses and trees, the air was cool and there was a little snowfall. It felt like some cozy 2000's digital photos you find under looking up 'nostalgic' on Pinterest. The car's heater was on full and the warmth felt good against your ass. You thought about fucking up a sauna and how you'd love one of those. Maybe a future date with Tony?

You lowered the sun visor to check yourself in the mirror. These false lashes were CRAZY. You only trusted JWoww or Snooki to put them on.

"You smell that?" Tony asked, sniffing the air.

"No," you said. You only smelled the his strong cologne and Nicki.

"You smell like weed," he said.

You did forget about the 'roach' and plants you were growing on your balcony to make some extra cash. But then, you thought, this could be the perfect lay-up right now. If it worked on Megan Fox, maybe it would work on Tony? If it didn't, you'd honestly Lady Bird yourself out of his car from the embarrassment.

"I am weed," you said, trying to sound femme fatale, biting your tongue like a mom.

He didn't get it.

"What did you say?"

You weren't high enough for this.

"Man, never mind," you said. "Where we going, anyway? You said you were take me to eat some real food. Cause apparently McDonald's isn't."

"Oh please, you're gonna start with that shit again?" Tony said. One thing with Tony, and all these mafiosos, they have more insecurity than a thirteen-year-old middle school girl. You've had to learn how to dodge Tony's whiny moments.

"So where?" you asked again, back to the topic.

"Italian."

"Oh, like Olive Garden?"

He stopped at a light and faced you, with a look of pure disgust.

You saw him in the corner of your eye, trying not to smile. You loved fucking with him. It was like fucking with a toddler.

"The fuck did you say?"

And there it was.

Tony then began to rant about what true Italian dining and food was, as he always loved to flex in his whiny self about how there's no other shame of an establishment other than Olive Garden to bring embarrassment to Italian cuisine. You disassociated for much of it after, watching the lit-up suburbs as you drove by.

"....and that's why Vesuvio's puts back the honor in the Italian name. End of story!"

"That's crazy," you said, one of your many safe automatic responses to have after your disassociation trips.

Anyway, you two had finally made it to the restaurant, as Tony mentioned before, called Vesuvio's. It was owned by a close friend of his, which made you all happy as it was refreshing to see Tony support small businesses. It was the late evening, so the sun had already set and the ambience was hitting.

Before you entered the restaurant, Tony said he had a surprise for you and took out from the back of his car a quite large box.

"What is this?"

"Go ahead," he smiled slyly, "open it up."

You felt like a child needing to rip the bitch open, but you stopped yourself - you liked playing hard to get so you knew you had to act indifferent. You instead opened it slowly, as if it was just an ordinary box but no it WASN'T!

"No. Fucking. Way," you were in disbelief. "Tony - a FUCKING VINTAGE HOT PINK JUICY TRACKSUIT?! THESE ARE LIKE, $100 ON DEPOP?!?!?!?!"

He was fucking up your reaction. He must've really listened to when you indulged in him your airport troubles and losing your suitcase, as well as your vintage Juicy Couture tracksuit. This got you all hot and shit down there to know he cared like that. Again, this is a MAN. He makes ugly dudes like Tate tater tot look like a little bitch and that's that.

"You like it?" he asked as you yanked that shit out and were admiring it. "Here, let me help," he put the box down and helped put the top jacket part on.

You were too shock to speak. Non-verbal, if you would.

"Tony, no bro it's that I can't - "

His little dumbass smile made it all the better. You hated that he knew he ate with this.

The fresh smell of baked bread and pasta was making your toes curl violently. You loved being a fat ass. Once inside, Tony greeted like half the staff because that's what these men do, but you were just bouncing your eyes from table to table at all the dishes. Shit was about to HIT! You purposely didn't eat all day so you could have room for what tonight was to come. But, with that, the Ron-Ron juice was now in full effect. Uh oh oh no.

No, no - you couldn't. Had you not learned before in England? You cannot embarrass Tony, no, not in front of all these people. Tony was like a pillar in this little suburban community, you needed to make him look good!

But then, you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror - you DO look good!

And then it hit you - you're just a girl who likes to dress up and eat good. The last thing you were gonna do was hide who you truly were! High key who gives a fuck about Tony? You do but you get what I mean.

A very pretty, blonde hostess came to you guys and led you to your table. Tony said hi, gave her the usual besitos, and introduced you two.

"Y/N, this is Adriana. You know, Christopha's girlfriend?"

"Oh my god yes! I remember!" you brought her in for a hug and your own besitos. She smelled great. It made you so happy to see another girl do her thing! "You look so good, bro! And your nails!"

"Oh, my god thank you!" she said, modestly. "You're so pretty!"

Tony smiled, happy to see two girls do their thing. Men will never understand.

You two sat a little more secluded towards the back. He had introduced you to Artie, the best friend and owner of the restaurant.

About an hour in, the vibes were HITTING! You were on your third slice of bread, dipping it in the olive oil and vinegar (though you preferred butter, but you weren't just about to say that in front of all these Italians, LITERALLY when in Rome like??), laughing as Tony was making his shitty dad jokes, light Frank Sinatra and 'like a big pizza pie in the sky' in the background, the chatter of other customers who were also vibing, and, like you, looking forward to absolutely demolishing the dishes.

What those dishes were, you wouldn't know. The moment you sat, Artie pulled up and took your menus, saying he would make y'all something exclusive from the menu. Like THAT? Like that. You felt like it was 2017 all over again and you just found out about the secret Pink Drink that wasn't on the Starbucks menu. Exclusive!

As Tony was rambling on about his new horse, you were just thinking about how insanely attractive he was. Again, this ain't no boy - no, this is a MAN. This is a man who gets shit done, whenever and wherever. You always thought yourself to be pretty humble and not consider power a trait to find attractive, but you just realized you were lying to yourself this whole time, cause Tony proved it was. Is it shallow? Oops. Who gives a fuck be real. That and giving you money every time he saw you was definitely a plus! He was just too smooth with shit.

And let's be real again, it was a little bit of a power trip for you too. Like, you're TONY'S girl. You know what that's more powerful than? Exactly. Anyone other than Tony's girl.

"What's your horse's name?" you asked.

"Pie-O-My."

"That's such a cute name!"

Dumbass name, you thought. But in all honesty you would've named a horse like Pickle or some shit so.

"Do you like horses? I should take you ta see her sometime."

You weren't a horse girl, even though you did have a small phase in middle school. "How could you not? They're so, like, otherworldly. Back in Colombia, my old boss used to have a zoo, and there were a bunch of horses there too."

"When were you in Colombia?"

You froze - you forgot. You're not Y/N, you're Y/N! You're supposed to be under a false identity! You can't just be revealing your past, Colombia was not supposed to be talked about! Have England Colombia not taught you anything?

"A long, long, long, long time ago. Long time. Looooong time," you said, smiling sheepishly and taking a nervous sip of your wine. This topic needed to be SKIPPED.

"For business?"

And then you forgot. Tony literally knows you're a fugitive. You are safe <3

You went on to expand about your brief but not-so-brief, actually extensive, time in Colombia, working for Pablo and committing heists with your girls. It seemed like another lifetime ago, but recounting it brought you such nostalgia, it made you happy to reminisce. Tony was eating it up too, he fucked with the fact that you weren't just no ordinary girl, no, you were a girl with a past. Dare I say, not like other girls at that. A criminal one, at that. To these macho mafiosos, seeing a girl do more than being a housewife is considered very exotic.

"One time, in Colombia, I almost set off one of Pablo's bombas by accident," you giggled to yourself. Shit was crazy. "It was supposed to be a hit on someone and I opened the wrong door to the wrong car lol. Thank god it malfunctioned and didn't detonate, but ever since then my close experience with death has just taught me to live, laugh and love more, you know? He was reaalllyyy pissed at me, for like a minute. Then he got over it, cause like, it's never that serious, you know?"

You dug into your pasta, which had just been brought out. It was Alfredo, your favorite. You weren't sure how Alfredo was an exclusive dish, but whatevs. You felt the warmness go down through your intestines - deletable. You felt Mark Weins possessing your spirit.

Tony was in awe of your stories.

"Wait, wait, Pablo's what?"

"Bombas. You know."

He still didn't comprehend. Ugh boys.

"Bomb bass?" you repeated.

"Boss Baby? Like that cartoon scientist prick?"

You'd never seen Boss Baby, but was pretty sure he wasn't a scientist. Just a baby in STEM. "No, Tony, bom-bas."

"Baz Luhrmann?"

"Oh my god, no, but I miss that summer," you said, thinking about that curse of a movie. "All that our love surviveeeesssss. So good. So good."

You continued eating your pasta, imagining Jacob Elordi's face instead of Austin Butler. It helped with the nightmares.

"Wait, you mean bombs?" he whispered.

"Yes, that!" you covered your mouth with your hand, still chomping away, "Sorry, all that time in Colombia I forgot English words. I should redownload Duolingo again."

"You can't say that around here. Not around Artie."

"Why not?"

"He's sensitive to subjects like that. Gets him all nervous." Tony then went on to basically play with his food by making his fork dance in and out of it, never actually accumulating more pasta. This was his fidgeting.

"You garbage disposal guys love to pretend you're all hard and shit."

He stopped. Again, he's offended. "What did you say?"

"Like, you pretend you're all hard, and shit, but then you're not. Okay, like, okay - Paulie doesn't like me cause I made a joke. A little joke and he got all butthurt."

"Yeah, cause you said that if he eats more than 12 grapes on New Years, he's cursed."

"Yeah, so what? His fat ass ate the entire bag. I had to make him feel bad for that. Reparations, honestly."

"You know Paulie, he's superstitious. And you weren't helping when you asked his zodiac sign or whatever bullshit."

"And what about Silvio, huh? So what if I've never seen the Godfather? How else is a normal person supposed to react if you just randomly say 'once I'm out they pull me back in'? Like, what? Back into what? I was being nice pretending I knew what he was talking about the first couple of times. I can only fake it til I make it so much."

Tony was growing more impatient.

"And Christopher? Sorry if I didn't know that an Elf Bar would break his sobriety. I just thought he'd love to invest -"

"Listen, sweetheart, I gotta be honest with ya. My friends, they're not perfect, but they're my family. Let's not forget about the sanctity of loyalty and respect. So let's put this aside and enjoy each other's company, huh -"

"How's the food, huh?" Artie asked, suddenly appearing like an Gusteau's ghost.

"It's great, Artie," Tony said, somewhat dismissively.

"Artie, you ATE this shit up! I'm gonna be sleeping sooooo good tonight!" you smiled. He smiled that you smiled.

"Well thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Let me know if you need anything else, okay?" Artie then walked off, leaving you two to yourselves. He quickly turned around and came back. "Be sure to call if you feel you have food poisoning, though."

"Wait, what?" you asked, mimicking Trisha Paytas.

"Cause if you do have it, it's not my food," he chuckled. "Right, Ton'?"

With that ominous comment/inside joke that you really had no idea what he was talking about, he walked away laughing. Tony wasn't. He, underneath it all was fuming but holding it in. He didn't like to raise his voice in front of you, because he knew you would hit lengths that exceeded his. One of your favorite activities was to make guys feel stupid, and you were too good at that and he knew. Honestly, he was kinda scared of the power you held, like one of Pablo's bombas.

You just shrugged it off and continued eating up your pasta.

It was quiet. It wasn't an awkward quiet, just a 'who's gonna talk first to get us past this quiet' sort of quiet. You didn't care, you were being wined and dined for free.

You then thought about how you could enhance the dish, like a wizard adding potions and his creation. You pointed to the parmesan.

"What?" Tony asked, oblivious, munching.

"Cheese, hellur?"

"The fuck is 'hellur'?'

You swallowed the food that prevented you from saying 'hello' correctly.

"Like, hello. So, cheese, hello?"

"Why not say hello?"

"Tony, I don't make fun of you when you say things in Italian," you shot back. He couldn't know food delayed your speech. "Don't make fun of my language, xenophobia doesn't look good on you."

He passed the parm, again in awe. "You know, of all the women I've been with, you're the weirdest fucking one," he laughed to himself.

"Awe, Tony, you're so sweet." You smiled. The bad quiet vibes had gone away and the good vibes had returned. So what if there was a boulder on the path? You walk AROUND it!

Fast forward to dessert. Artie brought you some cannolis because we're in an Italian restaurant remember.

Tony was in the middle of being pretty vulnerable with you. You loved that type of shit, when a man opens up. It's like seeing them fully evolve to becoming a normal person and you were front row.

"The things I do, you know. It's to get food on the table for my kids. But they, they don't understand. Meadow does, she's still young, but AJ? I don't know about the poor kid. Stays in his room all day, on that fucking computer, listens to that metal bullshit -"

"He's just going through his emo era. We all have it, don't worry. Some worse than others. And, he's a boy. They all enjoy a little Reddit from time to time. But just cause you're a criminal, Tony, doesn't make you a villain. The IRS just love to hate, trust me, I know."

He appreciated that you cared. "Therapy helps too, or whatever."

"Awe, that's great Tony!"

"But don't tell anyone, or I'll get whacked."

"By who?"

"You know. My associates."

"That's nice that you play games with your associates. It should be more than just business, you know. Like, there should be room for some bonding time and exercises."

"What are you talking about?"

"Like, Whack-a-Mole. Isn't that what you were talking about?"

Tony laughed. You thought he got it, but he was just still confused and was actually laughing at the shit you just say.

After the check (there was no check cause it's Tony Soprano), you two stopped by at Wawa to get some SpongeBob popsicles, cause those cannolis didn't hit that 'sumthin sweet' feeling. The flavor you got wasn't as good as his, despite being the same thing, so at every free opportunity when he wasn't looking you scooped a little of his. He started to notice as his popsicle shrunk and shrunk, getting hot at what you were doing. You didn't mind, you liked it sometimes when he got mad cause you thought it was funny you got to him like that. He got over it eventually, realizing that it's never THAT serious.

Some time later you were back at his place, what your girls would call an 'open crib'. It was just you two, and as Nicki once said, the night was still young. The possibilities? Yeah, they're endless. You had to admit, you were getting impatient. You needed something and that something was NOW.

By the pool, you two were making out. Shit was getting heavy and the night was getting pretty fucking chilly. A little too chilly, like the Juicy tracksuit was cute asf, but let's be real not helping in the slightest. But you weren't just about to have that interrupt you. What's a little cold? People literally live in like, Russian tundra.

Still making out, you felt small droplets of water hit you.

You broke from the kiss and said, quite sensually but not exactly meaning to, "I'm wet."

Tony chuckled with his goofy, excited smile. "Tell me more -"

He brought you back in for another kiss.

You felt more of those droplets hit you. You broke your kiss off again.

"No, I'm actually wet."

As if on cue, the rain began to pour pretty hard, increasingly violent. He grabbed your arm and pulled you to go inside. You two laughed as you were drenched, trying to escape the heavy downpour on some rom-com bullshit.

You slid your heels off and ran, you ran and ran. One thing you knew how to do - you knew how to ran. Your feet hit those puddles of water with such velocity, Tony could no longer catch up to you and lagged behind. Your hands let go - you couldn't wait for him. Once you were in this state, there was no breaking out of it. He was amazed at your abilities. You couldn't risk your makeup running. That's a big no-no, no?

Once inside, he brought you two towels and began drying you off. You caught a quick glimpse of your make up in the mirror, and needless to say, you needed JWoww to drop you that link of the setting spray she used cause shit was STUCK. Immovable.

"Thanks for the towel, Tony." you said. He winked at you, pulled his soaked shirt off and tossed it on the kitchen counter, then pulled out a jug of orange juice from the fridge, downing that bitch. Your eyes trailed from his body hair, down to his chest, to his belly, then his happy trail down to - oh. Oh there it is.

"Peter, the horse is here." you said. That bulge was bulging.

Tony clocked his head to you.

You thought you said it in your head, but you actually said it loud and clear.

"Who the fuck is Peta?" he interrogated, getting scared into thinking someone else was in the house, or that maybe 'Peter' was someone you were seeing...

"My god Tony you're such a fucking boomer."

"Is Peter your boyfriend -"

"- oh SHUT UP TONY!" you said, before pouncing on top of him. You hugged him, and he hugs tightly back, he then throws you on the dining table and you feel his member pressed against your leg. He begins kissing you, his tongue licking your lips for entrance. You let him in. Your tongues fight for dominance but you let him win. He eventually starts going down on you, taking your sequin dress off, and starts kissing your labia.

"This...this is a labia," he says. "End of story!"

You lift your legs as he begins to eat you out, his wet breath on your cooter. He holds your foot up and raises himself, ready to press his member into your entrance. Your eyes are closed, ready to take the man from North Caldwell, New Jersey in. This is it. No Peta, no duck phone, no garbage disposal, nothing - just you and Tony.

Hope you guys enjoyed!

Also, a heads up! A friendly warning - DON'T tell me how long to make story. That is up to me, myself and I. Anyway this one's shorter so whatevs.

xoxo,

~ Sam St. Clair

#tony soprano #the sopranos #Tony soprano x reader #fanfiction #tony x reader #imagine #smut #fluff #fan fiction

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astroprompts · 1 year ago

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✧ —𝐁𝐎𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 [𝐒𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝟸]

“Why do we even have saucers? We don't drink tea!”

“Do you have a thousand dollars? Because each minute I spend talking to you, that's how much money I'm wasting.”

“You're the only one in this building who isn't a total snooze-cooze.”

“No one watches this show to feel feelings. Life is depressing enough already!”

“All this time, I assumed there was more to me than everyone thought. But maybe there isn't.”

“I don't care if you are happy or not. You have a job to do.”

“Look who finally decided to pick up the phone.”

“You must think I'm a real monster.”

“You were born broken, that's your birthright.”

“Can't say I'll miss it, but we did have some crazy adventures together these last few weeks.”

“Sometimes you wanna go where no one knows your name.”

“Is that name supposed to mean something to me?”

“I want to do things with you. Fully clothed, sober, in daylight hours.”

“Look, you obviously really care about this girl and that scares you, so you sabotage yourself.”

“How about you just stop sulking and go win her back, dummy?”

“I'm cynical, and I'm possessive, and I can sometimes fly off the handle. I'm not always the best at being not terrible. But I want to be better, I'm trying to be better.”

“Why do I always do this? I push away everyone I care about.”

“No matter what, we're going to stick together.”

“I'm no good with funerals. When I cry, it messes up my makeup and then I get really bummed out.”

“Okay, you're clearly in one of your moods.”

“Why serve dates and not have a place to put the pits? You know, some people just have no class.”

“There's so much to hate about what you just said.”

“Shove it up your ass with a spoonful of sugar, you supercalifragilisticexpiali-bitch!”

“You know, maybe it's for the best we don't get together that often. We'd most likely drive each other mad.”

“No one knows how to get under your skin like family.”

“You wanna check out this cool new game I got?”

“I know there's no accounting for taste, but come on.”

“There is no shame in dying for nothing. That's why most people die.”

“Quick, jump out the window, shimmy down the drainpipe and wait in the car.”

“When you don't regret the tattoo in the morning, that's how you know it's love.”

“I guess I was just foolish enough to believe this dumb world still had a little spark of romance in it.”

“Look, what happened back there is not your fault.”

“If you wanna go for a walk in the woods at night, go crazy, but I'm not going anywhere.”

“Look, pal, I'll pay the bill, just-- Just let us get you to a damn hospital.”

“Um, do you wanna talk about what happened?”

“Any time someone tries to love you, you shove them away.”

“I was this badass overachiever that had these big plans to change the world.”

“So, now you're just gonna do whatever a teenage girl says?”

“I don't need you to like me. It would be fun if you liked me, because I'd prove my parents were wrong to never support me, because I earned the admiration of an authority figure, proving I have intrinsic worth, but it's not a big deal or anything. Jeez.”

“You know, sometimes I feel like my whole life is just a series of loosely-related wacky misadventures.”

“When you think something isn't about you, you find a way to save the day and realize that it was, all along, all about you.”

“Oh, is that that thing where you strangle yourself in an attempt to heighten sexual arousal?”

“So, noose-wise, what are we talking? You use a standard sailor's knot or more like your average birthday-present bow?”

“I don't know if I want your jack-off kit at my house.”

“This is the part of the movie where you get your heart broken. Where the world tests you, and people treat you like shit. But it has to happen this way. Otherwise, the end of the movie, when you get everything you want, won't feel as rewarding.”

“Jesus, why does cantaloupe think every time it gets invited to a party, it can bring along its dumb friend honeydew?”

“When we know what we know about a monster like that and we still put him on TV every week, we're teaching a generation of young boys and girls that a man's reputation is more important than the lives of the women he's ruined.”

“I don't understand why you can't be on my side about this.”

“I asked you, really nicely, not to make a big thing out of this.”

“Why does it suddenly matter what I want?”

“All I ever wanted was to be your friend.”

“Stop kidding yourself. If you really wanted the simple life, you'd have a simple life.”

“Love is an illusion, and happiness is fleeting, no such thing as God, and all your favorite musicians beat their wives.”

“Well, I'm sorry that things have been so hard for you, but that doesn't give you the right to be shitty to me.”

“I can't be around someone who's just fueled by bitterness and negativity.”

“You know, it's funny. When you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.”

“I wish I could just go home right now and crawl into bed and not have to talk about anything or explain anything.”

“I'm sorry I'm not the person I thought I was.”

“Hey, you wanna climb up on the water tower?”

“I'm really glad we left that stupid prom, but I'm kind of bummed we didn't get to dance.”

“Look, sometimes when you're an adult, the right thing isn't always the best thing.”

“You're the first grown-up I've ever met who actually treats me like... You know, a person.”

“I said so many things when I was young. I thought I was so deep.”

“It doesn't matter where you are, it's who you are.”

“So many times in my life I've done the wrong thing, but this is the right thing, and I have never been more sure of anything.”

“I've wasted so much time sitting on my hands and imagining what could have been.”

“If you are not out of my driveway in 30 minutes, I will call the police.”

“If you ever try to contact me or my family again, I will fucking kill you.”

“Wake up, captain dumbshit.”

“Now let's get out there and tell all those garbage rat bastard sons of bastards what we really think of them, once and for all.”

“If you're holding out for something better, well, I hate to break it to you, but you're gonna be alone for a long time.”

“Every day, it gets a little easier. But you gotta do it every day, that's the hard part.”

#rp meme #ask meme #dialogue prompt #sentence starters #bojack horseman

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slutforelliealways · 1 year ago

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Can’t move on ElliexFemmeReader

Synopsis: You were with Ellie when she took her revenge on Abby, you were with her when she was healing from her loss of Joel. You patched her up every time she was injured and held her in every panic attack. So when she up and broke up with you because things got hard for you years later, it wasn’t so easy to forgive her.

Part of this story is inspired by the song Watermelon Moonshine by Lainey Wilson, you'll know it when you get to it I don't wanna spoil too much. Lots of fluff and angst. Some smut and fluff with smut, also arguing and like mean Ellie at some points. Also there's a shit ton of flashbacks to different points in their relationship. This is long as fuck but I wasn't sure when a good stopping point was. Hopefully, you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

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“Are you serious? You’re just gonna up and leave? Ellie please! We have a life together we have a home and a future here, you can’t just let that go!” Your eyes were stinging, you’d been going at it for hours now trying to keep her from leaving.

“I’m sorry, this just isn’t right for me anymore. I’ve got to be on my own for a while.” She was packing her bags and hadn’t looked at you since she started the argument.

“So what I’m just supposed to wait around for you to come back? Hoping you’ll snap out of whatever the fuck this is?” You threw your hands up in defeat. “You know what?”

“What y/n?”

“Fuck you! Keep the house, i don’t want to live with your ghost.” You grabbed your bag and stuffed it with as many clothes it would fit and walked out the door.

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That was the last time you’d spoken to Ellie Williams in two years, Ellie had came in around year five or six of you living there (you’d been in Jackson for 12 years total), she had Joel with her and you knew of him from his brother Tommy and his wife Maria. They had wanted you to stay with them but you insisted you could take care of yourself, this was true. Your parents had both gotten bit trying to keep you out of harms way early on in life, you’d been on your own since you were 10. You spent six months surviving the harsh world on your own until you stumbled onto the small town of Jackson one early morning, since then you’d become a valued member of society there. It started with gardening and tending to the animals, once you hit 16 you were allowed to do patrol with Tommy or Joel for a while. Finally you’d become their sneakiest and stealthiest soldier and they trusted you to do pretty much anything you wanted, this was when Ellie was finally allowed to go out and they set you two up so you could show her the ropes.

Your romance started off sweet and innocent at first, simply flirting and laughing on your patrols. Racing your horses and dodging any danger you couldn’t outrun. Ellie’s crush was a lot more obvious at first than yours was, you’d never been romantically involved with anyone let alone a girl. Sure a few boys had approached you throughout your time at Jackson but it never went past the first date. Your first kiss was Dina and it was on a dare from spin the bottle, she started dating Jesse shortly there after so you never even had the chance to catch a crush on her. Ellie was gentle before Joel passed, it was a different side of her that you’d hoped would come back one day. You spent years patching her back together, being patient when she had her mean moments and lulling her back to sleep after a nightmare. So when she came home one day and just started packing her bags it hit you like a ton of bricks.

You’d managed to move on with life after a few months of mourning, taking your old patrol back and hanging out with your friends in your spare time. While Ellie and you had been gone avenging her late father, Dina and Jesse had started a family of their own. JJ their son, was a cute chunky little boy. Dina loved being a mother and had since stopped doing patrols since it was so dangerous, Jesse wanted to keep protecting Jackson and knew his best shot at staying alive was doing patrols with you. This routine stayed put for almost a full two years, until one morning you heard a knock on your door.

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“I’m coming Jeez! Let me put some clothes on.” You shouted at whoever was standing on the other side.

“Hurry up!” It was Tommy.

You sniffed around for something clean or just clean enough and threw it on, opening the door to a blizzard and a frozen Tommy standing in front of you. “What can I do for you Mr. Miller?”

“Please, you’ve called me Tommy since you got here don’t switch it up now. I need to ask you a favor.” He took a step forward to incline you to invite him in.

“Oh sorry, come on in. Place is a mess but it’s not yours so I won’t apologize.” You snickered, waving him inside and taking a seat at your dinner table. “What’s the favor you need?”

“Got any coffee?” He asked.

“You know I do, is that the favor?”

“Make us some would ya?” He pointed to the coffee maker.

“Sure.” You rolled your eyes and got up.

“Listen kid, I wouldn’t ask you this if I had any other choice.” He was speaking low and hesitantly.

“Are you gonna keep tip toeing around the subject till we both die or you gonna spill the beans?” You put the coffee maker on and turned around, leaning against your counter you crossed your arms and tilted your head at him.

“It’s about your route for patrol.” He bowed his head, “I tried bargaining with Maria but you know how she is.”

“She switching my route up or something?”

“She’s switching your partner.” He looked up at you with sympathy.

“To who?”

“I’m real sorry kiddo-“

“Who Tommy!” You stepped forward.

“Ellie.”

“No.”

“Now look I know things got… weird between you two but-“

You shook your head and chuckled out of anger, “I’m not fucking doing a route with her. She can find another partner, or she can go fuck herself i don’t really care. Why is this even happening?” The coffee maker beeped and you snapped around to shut it off.

“Listen, Maria needs more experienced people to take the longer routes. Dina doesn’t want Jesse going that far out with them havin a kid and all, you and Ellie ain’t got much to lose and you’re far more experienced. You’re a good team kid.” He eyeballed the coffee maker and you rolled your eyes before pouring him a cup and handing it to him. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. You can take it to-go, I’ve heard enough from you.”

“Now cmon y/n!”

“I’ll do it.”

Tommy’s face froze in a shocked expression before his lips curled up into a smirk, “you’re really doin me a solid here. I owe ya one!”

“Your wife owes me one. You owe me a few, now get the fuck out please. I need to get ready for my shift.” You opened your front door and gestured for him to leave.

“Give me a hug so I know you’re not mad at me.” He reached his arms out.

“Fuck off.” You leaned in and nuzzled into his jacket. He smelled so much like Joel it made your eyes water. “Get out!” You shoved him lightly and he chuckled as he headed out back into the snow.

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You made sure to take a shower before leaving your house, even did your two braids extra neat to keep your hair out of your face before throwing on your dark grey beanie. You picked out your second warmest jacket, the first one being the one Ellie had gifted you for christmas one year.

“I found it while Joel and I were exploring an abandoned mall. Figured it’d keep you warm during the harsh winters. Can’t have my girl freezing while she’s protecting the town!”

You shuddered at the memory and snatched the other light brown jacket and threw it on, all your supplies were neatly packed into your dark green backpack and you were sure you hadn’t forgotten anything. You took one final deep breath before heading out to the stables to get your horse, and see Ellie again.

“Hey y/n!”

“Hey Seth! How’s my boy doing?” You waved at the stable boy and approached your horse Bentley.

“He’s a strong one! Tried reigning him in last night and he knocked me over twice, you must be teaching him to do that!” Seth laughed as he handed the reigns to you.

“Yeah maybe, it’s a good trick out there. Should teach him when and when not to do it though, sorry about that.” You patted Seth’s shoulder and saw him smile to himself. Seth was one of the boys you’d gone on a date with back when you were teenagers, he was so smitten by you that you had to cut it short and go home. It didn’t feel right leading a boy on just because you wanted to make Tommy and Maria happy by finding a partner.

“Oh hey Ellie!” Seth waved behind you and you whipped your head around to see the girl you’d been avoiding for years.

“Wassup Seth!” She waved back. Before getting a good look at her you snapped your head back to your horse.

“What’re you doing here? You’re usually second shift I thought.”

“Yeah i uh, my shift got switched to first.” She rubbed the back of her neck and avoided eye contact with you.

“Alright thanks Seth I’m gonna take Bentley to the gates okay. I’ll see you when I get back if you’re still here!” You gave his hand a quick squeeze and took Bentley with you out.

You hadn’t even made it fully to the gate before hearing hooves quickly trotting behind you, “wait up!”

“Keep up!” You shouted back at the auburn haired girl.

“I’m trying but you’re walking too fucking fast.” She said out of breath as she caught up beside you. “You done this route before?”

“Every fuckin day.” You huffed out, not even looking her direction just staring straight ahead.

“Alright. You gonna ignore me the whole time?” She leaned her head forward trying to catch your eye. Her hair was different, no longer in the bun she usually had it up in. She had half of her hair down and the other half tied up, some of the shorter pieces were framing her face and brushing her cheeks. She looked good, but you couldn’t acknowledge it.

“Just about.” You scoffed and started walking faster.

“We have to be around each other all day y/n. You can’t at least pretend to be cool with me?” She sped her walk up to keep up with you.

“Ellie, i- we’re cool okay? Just don’t feel like talking.” You came to a halt and turned to finally face her.

She froze in place, she hadn’t caught up with how you looked either. Your hair had grown, you’d gotten some new piercings and tattoos from cat. You looked older, more mature and more like a woman and not a girl. “Wow.” She gasped.

“What?” You spat out.

“You look- just, wow.” She looked you up and down and then up and down again. A smirk formed on her lips and she shifted her weight from one hip to the other.

“Thanks? Cmon we’re gonna be late.” You started walking fast again trying to get ahead of her so you could freak out for a second without her seeing.

You got to the gates and met up with the rest of the groups that were going out, Jesse walked up to you. “Dude I am so sorry I didn’t know she’d pair you up with… her.” He pointed to Ellie.

“It’s fine. You’ve got more to lose than either of us do so it makes sense they switched us, we’re good don’t sweat it.” You gave him a hug and hopped up on your horse.

“Alright gang we’ve got some new procedures to instill! First off we’re happy to see some new faces going out today, don’t worry you’re all in good hands. For the not new guys, as usual be safe and don’t run into the fire if you don’t have to. If you see anything unusual just log it down and come straight back home!” Maria looked at you when she said the last part, you’d been known to handle dangerous situations by yourself. It wasn’t that she didn’t think you couldn’t handle it, it was the fact that you were the closest thing her and Tommy had to a daughter so losing you would ruin their world. You nodded at her and she dropped her gaze and continued, “for my new routers and new partners, be a good team. Work together, and remember to communicate a lot and keep conversation going to ensure you’re both okay. Everything else you should already know. Now go, be safe and come back to us!” She nodded for the guys to open the gates and two by two every pair rode off and split to their respected routes.

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You and Ellie rode in silence for a while, she’d ask a question or try and crack a joke and you’d simply respond by humming to yourself. After a couple hours she finally gave up and simply rode next to you, once you’d gotten about halfway through your route you found a good spot to have lunch and you paused and hopped off Bentley. You tied him up to a tree and plopped yourself down on a tree that had fallen a couple harsh winters ago, Tommy had pointed it out and you made a mental note of it as a check point if you ever got lost.

“We can stop here for a bit, I’m hungry.” You announced dryly.

“Sounds good I’m starving!” She hopped down from her horse shimmer and tied her up next to Bentley. She eagerly sat down next to you and began rummaging through her bag for food.

“You didn’t bring anything did you?” You more stated than asked her. You knew she hadn’t, her appetite hadn’t been the greatest but neither had her memory, back when you did patrol with her you always had to share your lunch with her since she always left hers somewhere else.

“No I did I know it’s in here some-“ you shoved your sandwich bag in her face which had half a chicken sandwich in there. “Oh, thanks.” She smiled at you.

“Yup.” You took a bite to prevent you from having to say anything else.

“So how’ve you been?” She said with her mouth full.

“Huh?”

“Sorry”, she swallowed, “how’ve you been?”

“Fine.” You took another bite.

“Just fine?” She questioned.

“What exactly are you expecting to come out of this conversation Ellie?” She looked shocked at your statement, you’d never been harsh with her before. Always gentle and coddling, she was supposed to be the harsh and mean one.

“Look I know I fucked up but just hear me out-“

“Fucked up? Fucking up is burning the coffee, missing a step on the stairs, letting the dog out without a leash, and dropping paint on your shoes. You broke up with me because I started having nightmares and you couldn’t handle them. You didn’t fuck up Ellie you fucked me. You dipped and I never heard from you again. So please spare me the theatrics and apologies and let’s just keep this professional okay?” Your appetite was gone and you threw the remainder of your sandwich out in the woods.

"I could have ate that", she exclaimed.

"You've already taken enough from me." You snapped back and stood up. "We'd better get going, the sun is gonna start setting soon and I don't wanna get caught in the dark." You undid Bentley's reign, shimmers too, and handed her off to Ellie before mounting Bentley.

"How much further up do we need to go?" She shouted from behind you.

"Couple more miles! Then we just make our way back, it's a super easy route it's just longer than what you're used to." You shouted back at her.

"Alright, just don't leave me in the dust. You're pretty good at that." She shouted before catching up to your speed.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." She laughed.

You took that as a challenge and whipped Bentley's reigns to make him speed up, you may have been the fastest on foot but Bentley was the fastest horse in the stables. You picked him out because of how difficult he had been as a baby, stubborn and unwilling to listen to any of the trainers. Once he met you though, someone equally as stubborn, he quickly obeyed every command you gave him. It was a match made in heaven, two stubborn individuals that came together as a perfect pair. You looked back to see if Ellie had caught on to what was happening, she was grinning from ear to ear at the race. "Come on keep up!" You shouted back to her.

"No fair you got a head start!" She squealed.

"Never stopped you before." You leaned forward to get less air traction and a better grip on Bentley. He felt the interaction and pounced forward to gain more speed, as you reached the top of the route you were on you sat up straight and Bentley came to a pause. "See that wasn't so bad was it?" You turned around to face Ellie who still had some distance to go. You laughed at how she struggled catching more speed and pretended to tap a watch on your wrist as she caught up with you almost a full minute later.

"Whatever you said I didn't hear it, I see you and Bent still have your weird little connection. How'd you get him to listen to you like that anyways?" She was breathing heavily and trying to play it off.

"Had a lot of time to train him after... I just had a lot of free time for a while. He's only four so we still have a long ways to go, but he does okay." You tried to chuckle off your stutter and looked down at Bentley's mane.

"Can we please talk about it?" She pleaded with you.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Y/n! You know there is."

"Ellie, you're pushing it." You warned her.

"Okay, okay fine." She put her hands up in surrender.

You rolled your eyes, "We need to get back now, write down that everything was clear and then just follow closely behind me okay?"

"I always do."

"What? Write it down?" You raised your brow.

"Follow closely behind you."

You took off on Bentley and didn't look back, you needed to cry without her seeing. You knew when to slow down so Shimmer could catch up but for just a couple minutes you needed to just sob into Bentley's mane and pretend you were alone. As much as you wanted to believe you had healed from your breakup it was clear there was still some wounds that needed healing, you knew talking about it could help but it just wasn't in the cards for you right now. The idea of sitting across from the girl who broke you and explaining to her how just felt like a bullet to the chest, which you could accurately describe seeing as you'd taken one. For her.

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The ride home took half the time it took to get to the lookout post, you rode in silence once again and this time Ellie didn't bother saying anything. She hummed to herself a familiar tune you just couldn't quite make out, it drove you so crazy you started humming your own tune. The same tune Maria would hum to you when she was cutting your hair or cooking for you and Tommy, it was some country song she said she would have given anything to see live. You never did get that stupid song out of your head. As you approached the gates you saw Jesse and his partner coming in from the East, he waved at you and you guided Bentley toward his horse.

"So how was patrol for you?" He awkwardly chuckled.

"Fine." You said dryly.

"Better than me then, my partner is the new guy Jordan. Fucking idiot I tell ya, never seen an infected before and just had to check it out! Had to save his ass like four times before he finally stopped approaching them head on."

"Hey Jesse, are we still on for drinks later?" Ellie had ridden over and joined in on the conversation.

"Uh yeah, Dina wanted to join that cool?" Jesse looked back and forth between you and Ellie awkwardly. "Y/n you wanna join?"

"Oh... no thanks I'm pretty tired. Maybe next time yeah?" You started guiding Bentley away from the pair.

"Just one drink!" Ellie shouted.

"Huh?" You stopped in your tracks.

"Just one drink, then you can go home and sleep." She approached next to you and had a pleading look in her eyes.

"I uh, can I shower first?"

"Yeah, yeah of course! Shower and then meet us all at the Tipsy Bison, I'll save you a seat." She smiled and wandered in the gates.

You stayed in place shocked that you'd agreed to go. "She still wants you you know, maybe you should give her a second chance." Jesse said now next to you.

"Maybe you should fuck off and go home to your girl and kid before I steal your place as JJ's father." You laughed and wandered into the gates of Jackson.

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"You're Ellie right?"

"Oh, yeah hey. I assume you're y/n?" The shy auburn-haired girl asked.

"You'd assume correctly!" You reached your hand out for her to shake it. "We're on patrol together today, so just stick to whatever I do and we should be good!"

She took your hand and shook it, "Sounds good. I've heard you're like the best soldier we've got here."

"Maybe not the best but, yeah you know what I am the best." You chuckle.

"Nobody mentioned how pretty you were gonna be. I feel stupid for my appearance now." She rubbed the back of her neck in embarrassment.

"Oh!" You blushed, "You look fine. I mean... you look good! I'm sorry, I'm like naturally fucking awkward."

"No! Don't even worry about it I am too, sorry I honestly shouldn't have said anything. Not that I didn't mean what I said I mean you are super pretty I just-"

"Ellie." You put your hand on her shoulder.

"Yeah y/n?"

"You wanna grab your horse and meet me by the gates?" You nodded at Shimmer.

"Yeah, I'll see you there." She smiled at you and exhaled heavily.

"Don't make me wait." You winked and grabbed Bentley.

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As you stood in the bathroom looking at yourself in the mirror you couldn't help but wonder what tonight's events would entail, would you end up in a fight with Ellie? Would you make up? Would you make out? You brushed your hair out and put on your best going-out clothes, along with your warmest jacket. You took your time with the brisk walk over to the bar, the jacket had been a smart move because as the sun went away so did any warmth it had brought on earlier in the day. You walked up the steps and paused at the door to sneak a peek to see who was inside, as promised Ellie had saved you a seat right next to her. Your face went warm and you suddenly felt excited to go in, your happiness faltered when you remembered who you were getting excited about and you took a step back from the door. What the fuck am I doing? You thought to yourself, without thinking you found yourself turning around and heading back to your place. You had just barely made it off the steps when you heard the door open and the little bell ring, "Hey y/n! Where ya going? I saved you a seat."

You paused and turned around to face her, "Oh, hi Ellie. Sorry I didn't see you guys in there so I thought maybe you cancelled plans and I didn't get the memo or something."

"Yeah sure, just come in." She stepped down and held her hand out for you to grab.

You walked past her and into the bar, "Dina!"

"Hey honey how are you!" The brunette stepped out of her seat and walked toward you with her arms stretched out for a hug. "It's been a while since I've seen you in here. It's good to have you back!"

"I'm not back, just out for the night. How have you been?"

"I asked you first." She smirked and glanced over at Ellie who was defeatedly sitting back in her seat awaiting your attention.

"I've been... you know." You shrugged.

"Hiding away in your dungeon."

"Yeah." You chuckled, "I guess I have."

"Well you're here now, that's all that matters." She nudged your shoulder and went back to her seat next to Jesse.

"Nice to see you out y/n." Jesse exclaimed before taking a sip of his drink.

"Yeah babe we already had this talk." Dina nudged his shoulder hard.

"Ow! Okay sorry I didn't know."

"It's fine, really." You assured him. "I think I'm gonna go grab a drink, I'll be back. Anyone want anything?" You got out of your seat and headed to the bar before anyone could reply.

"Hey honey, wasn't expecting to see you here." Maria was tending the bar and already had your drink ready for you.

"Hi." You tried to avoid speaking to her. It was her fault you'd even opened this can of worms to begin with.

"You gonna be mad at me forever?" She questioned.

"Just until you switch my patrol partner."

"I didn't assign you to her, she asked. So you might want to redirect your anger to the little auburn girl staring at you over there." She pointed to Ellie who looked away as soon as your gaze landed on her.

"What do you mean she asked?"

"I mean she came to our house last night and asked to be your patrol partner from now on, said Dina and Jesse agreed to vouch for her if you asked. Sweet Pea I would never have done this had I known you'd be so upset with me. You know I love you." Maria leaned over the bar and reached for your hand.

You reached out and took her hand, "Thanks for the honesty. I'll see you later, I gotta go." You turned around only to be paused by Maria speaking again.

"Give the poor girl a break, she's lost a lot."

"And I haven't?" You snarled as you turned around to face her again.

"I didn't say that I just-"

"God! Everyone in this fucking town coddles her like she's the only person here who's been hurt or lost someone. It's like everyone watches out so we don't hurt poor, broken, fragile Ellie. Give me a fucking break would ya, she's fine! She's happy, smiling, and hanging out with my friends. So please can everyone just spare me the theatrics and leave me the fuck out of her drama. I want a new patrol partner immediately!" You hadn't noticed you were shouting and that everyone in the bar had paused what they were doing to stare at you. Including Dina, Jesse, and Ellie. "Shit." You stormed out of the bar and speed-walked back to your house.

"Y/n wait up!" You heard footsteps behind getting closer to you.

"Go away Ellie please, I don't wanna talk to-" She grabbed your arm and spun you around to face her.

"Then just listen!" She was breathing heavily and her nose was pink from the cold, "I, am so sorry! I'm so sorry for leaving you, for never picking up your pieces after you spent so long putting me back together. I'm sorry for taking your friends from you, for acting like you didn't exist. I'm sorry for-"

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"What the fuck is going on with you? You're like so weird right now, constantly shutting down, you won't even touch me anymore." Ellie was blocking the door trying to get you to talk to her.

"Please just let me leave, I'll come back but I've got patrol." You were trying to shove past her but she was must stronger than you were.

"Please y/n I'm begging you, talk to me. Say something, anything!"

"I'm telling you, I need to go before Maria gets on my ass."

She didn't respond, she just stepped out of the way and opened the door for you.

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"Not being there for you when you needed me most." She had her hands on your shoulders to keep you in place while she spoke.

You felt frozen, your face was cold and you were fighting back tears, "Fuck you, Ellie." Was somehow the only sentence you managed to spit out.

She blinked hard and tried to keep her face from looking shocked, she wasn't. She knew you had no idea about the times she stood outside your door for hours hoping you'd need something from town and bump into her. How many times on patrol she'd found flowers or a cool gadget and brought it home with her with the intention of bringing it to you, or the number of times she'd left a letter on your front porch only to snag it back before you went out for your morning shift. Ellie knew all you had received was radio silence from her end, so she released her grip on your shoulders and let you walk again.

"That's what I thought." You spit out and turned toward your home. You made a quick turn down and alley and blocked the world out for the rest of your walk, your tears felt as if they were burning your cheeks and you tried wiping them off but they were streaming quicker than you could wipe.

You saw your house and sped up to a jog, you busted through the gate and headed up the stairs. "I don't have my fucking keys." You wined out loud.

"I do."

You turned slowly and faced the voice. "Why do you have my keys?"

"You dropped them when you ran away from me", Ellie was holding your keys up and shaking them at you. "I brought whiskey."

"How the hell did you get a whole bottle?"

"Joel had it in his house, I figured he'd been saving it for a special occasion so I saved it for one too." She approached you slowly.

"Just unlock my door for me would ya? You can come in if you must." You slapped your door and waved for her to speed her walk up.

"Yes ma'am!" She smirked and ran up your stairs for the door. "Here hold this." She handed you the bottle of whiskey as she fiddled with the lock.

"Hurry up it's fucking freezing." You laughed as you bounced a little trying to keep warm.

"I'm trying it's a tough door ba- y/n." She cleared her throat.

"Try harder." You huffed.

"Got it." She shoved her shoulder into the door and it busted open.

"Careful! I don't feel like having to ask Tommy over to fix the door, he'll drink all my coffee."

"You'd have the same issue with Joel." She laughed.

Her laugh caught you off guard, not because she didn't laugh ever but because she laughed in the same sentence Joel's name was mentioned. Anytime Joel was brought up in conversation in the past Ellie would simply bow her head and leave the room on some poor excuse like she needed to use the bathroom or she needed a shower. You knew she was leaving because she needed to catch her breath before a panic attack set in, you'd usually follow shortly after to talk her down before she blacked out. This went on for a year and a half, you spent all your time making sure she was okay by the time your body had caught up on your own trauma. She was healed and ready for the next chapter in life, one without panic attacks and night terrors. So you healed in silence, which to no surprise wasn't very effective. For two years you talked yourself down from every panic attack, every meltdown, and every blackout. Not a single soul in your entire town had any idea you were falling apart behind closed doors, you were ten years old again and screaming silently for help. The only person you wanted around had decided you were too much, or not enough. Just not what she needed anymore, so she let you go.

"You owe me a drink for letting you in here." You say to her as you throw your shoes off.

"I owe you a drink? You wouldn't even be in here if I hadn't brought your keys to you." She laughed again a bit louder this time.

"I wouldn't gotten locked out of my own house had you not begged me to come to the bar." You turned toward her with your eyebrows raised.

"I guess you're right about that." She bowed her head and rubbed her neck.

"So yeah, you owe me a drink."

"I guess I do, where do you- actually I got it." She went into your kitchen and found your glasses right away.

You had to blink to focus your vision, it was hard to believe Ellie Williams was standing in your kitchen. This house had never had her inside of it, it was your sanctuary away from her. Decorated exactly how you wanted it and untouched by her opinions, you had things scattered around that reminded you of love. Pictures you managed to keep of your parents and of Tommy and Maria scattered around your walls, along with randomly scattered carpets you would strap onto Bentley on a patrol and bring home. "This is weird Ellie."

She paused and looked at you, "I know."

"Why did you ask for me to be your patrol partner?"

"I uh, wanted. No needed to talk to you." She continued pouring the whiskey in an attempt not to make eye contact with you.

"Talk to me about what?" You sat down on your couch.

"Nothing in particular just missed your voice." She came and sat next to you, handing you your glass nonchalantly.

"Oh." You took a sip and winced at the strong flavor.

"So yeah, pretty lame excuse I guess."

"Yeah, I guess." You rolled your eyes.

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"You're being silly! I know how to swim, I've just never done it." You exclaimed and then took a sip from the mason jar.

"You can't just know how to do something but never practice it." Ellie laughed and reached for the jar.

"You can if you're me."

"Maybe you're right or maybe you're just overly confident. I guess we'll have to test your theory sometime." Ellie put the jar down and looked up at you.

"What?" You almost shouted.

"I don't know if I'm saying this because I'm drunk or because I'm just ready to share but, I've got like a serious crush on you so."

"Oh really? I couldn't tell." You snagged the jar and sipped the whiskey Ellie had stolen from Joel while he was sleeping.

"Shut up!" She chuckled. "Give me some of that don't hog it all!"

"Here." You handed her the jar, "So why did it take you like three years to share this information with me?"

"I don't know, couldn't tell if you were into me or just like this with everyone."

"Ellie I'm not like this with anyone", You leaned in close to her, "Just you."

"I noticed that", she put the jar down and leaned in closer. "What're you doing?"

"Testing a theory", you closed the gap and pushed your lips onto hers. She grabbed your face and you fell back on the blanket with her on top of you.

"Have you done this before?" She gasped.

"No. Have you?" You asked shakily.

"No, do you want to do this?"

"Ellie I've wanted you to be the one forever.” You pulled her in and closed the gap between your lips once again. She pushed deeper into the kiss and let her hands begin to wander your body, it started innocently and slow. The more you kissed the more she touched, the more she touched the more you wanted her. “I want you.”

“You have me.” She breathed into you.

“No. I want, all of you!”

She paused and looked at you with a smile spreading across her lips, “I want you to have all of me."

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"Do you remember that day?" Ellie interrupted your daydreaming.

"What day?" You look up at her.

"You know, that day." She said sheepishly.

"Oh, yeah how could I forget." You smiled at the memory.

"Do you regret it?" Her face looked prepared for destruction.

"No. Do you?" You sipped your drink.

"Why would I?"

"Because, you know." You couldn't say it out loud.

"Because you left me?" She interrupted.

"You were leaving first." You stated.

"I- you're right. I was leaving first, physically." Her phrase confused you, "But you left me long before I ever planned on walking away."

"You don't know what you're talking about." You leaned in.

"Oh I don't?" She leaned in.

"No, you don't. What're you doing Ellie?"

"Just, testing a theory." She kissed you.

"Mm no! No, I can't, we can't do this. You need to leave, now."

"Y/n come on, please don't make me go." She pleaded.

"I'm not thinking clearly and you can't be here, you're infecting my space." You shuffled around and got up to go toward the door.

She grabbed your hand and pulled you to her, "I can't go another day without you baby. You take up every inch of my mind, you're ruining my days not being with me. Please my love, give me another chance."

"You need to leave, I'll see you tomorrow for patrol. We can talk more then." You yanked your hand away and went over to your front door, she got up from the couch hesitantly and put her jacket back on. You waved her out the door and watched her walk down your front porch steps, she turned around and faced you.

"Do you want this? Really?"

"I want to be okay Ellie, and I don't want to drag you down with me. I don't want to rely on you again only for you to leave me, I'll see you tomorrow." You closed the door and slid down the wall and cried.

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Ellie had planned to go home after you kicked her out, she even made it halfway home before pausing in her tracks. She saw Tommy and Maria laughing and walking to their home and stopped them for a chat, "Hey Tommy! Hey Maria!"

"Hey, sweetheart what's going on? Why are you out so late?" Tommy questioned, Ellie saw a lot of Joel in Tommy whenever he showed any concern.

"I just was walking home from y/n's house. Could I ask you something?"

"Anything." Tommy waved Ellie over to join them in their walk, their house just so happened to be two doors down from your home so Ellie didn't mind following them one bit.

"What uh, what do I have to do to make her come back?" She asked nervously.

Maria answered, "Oh honey, I ask myself the same thing every day. She hasn't come back to anyone since you seemed to get better, it's like she's a ghost wandering the walls of Jackson. We try to get her out, try to make her laugh. She's gone, and I'm not sure she's coming back. I know her life before Jackson was awful and part of me seems to think she believes she's still out there."

"What do you mean?" Ellie paused in her tracks and stared at Maria and Tommy.

"You don't know?" Tommy questioned, shocked by her confusion.

"Know what?"

"Y/n was... alone when we found her. Or more so she found us, she stumbled upon our gates one night completely covered in dirt and blood. Some of it was hers but most of it wasn't, she refused to talk for a while. Wouldn't even sleep unless she was left alone, we don't fully know what happened. But I think it's safe to assume whatever she saw out there, was worse than most of us have seen." Maria looked away and stifled a cry.

"She's never gotten real close to anyone, besides you kiddo." Tommy patted Ellie's back. "You good to make it home okay? I can walk you back if you want."

"No. That's okay, I'm gonna... hang around for a bit if that's okay. See if she comes out of the house for anything."

Maria leaned in for a hug, "Just don't stay out too late, you both have patrol in the morning."

"Yes ma'am." Ellie hugged them both goodbye and waved them off until they got into their home.

She sat on your porch and waited, it got colder and she shivered but she stayed sat and waited. She heard nothing at first and thought she was making it up. It was subtle, just whimpers that could have passed for a sad puppy. Then she heard your yelp, a bang and then she was up on her feet. The door was locked, she banged on the door but you didn't answer.

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You tried to keep quiet, to act as if you had it together and your chest wasn't caving in. Your vision began going blurry and you couldn't catch your breath, your sobs got louder but you couldn't hear them. You didn't even notice you'd fell to the floor until you were being picked up gently.

"Hey hey hey, come on let's get you to bed yeah? Shh, it's okay I know, I'm here. I got you, baby, I have you now. You're safe."

"I can't- I can't-"

"I know baby I know, you're okay. I'm not going anywhere you're safe I have you. You're safe." Ellie had broken down your door after hearing you cry louder than she'd ever heard you before.

You had been clawing at your chest when she found you, beating and clawing like you were trying to get your heart to beat again. Like you couldn't get your lungs to take in any more air, she wasn't sure what to do at first. She thought about running and grabbing Tommy or Maria and then she remembered what Tommy had said, you'd never gotten close to anyone besides her. So she did the only thing she could think of, she picked you up and reminded you where you were.

"Ellie I-", your breathing slowed. Her touch had soothed your burning skin, you felt her breathing above your face. The surface beneath you no longer cold and hard, you were in your bed. You wanted to say something important, let her know how bad you had gotten since she'd been gone. "I love you." Was all that came out, and then you crashed. Your body finally relaxed enough to fall asleep, you didn't fight it. You were safe now, warm and loved.

"I love you baby", she kissed your face relentlessly. "I'm here now, just sleep." As she looked at your sleepy face she had to turn away, she saw it now. How bad you'd gotten, how much you'd held in so she could fall apart. Why her leaving was so cruel, and why you had hated her for it. She cried silently over you that night, she sobbed while you slept in her arms. She didn't dare move even when her arms hurt, and her legs fell asleep. She let you sleep, and she let herself cry without blacking out. She was healed, you were not. It was her turn to glue you back together after all this time, and she was fully prepared for the task.

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Authors Note: Very much tea very much jumbled, let me know if you liked it and if I should continue with a part two! Kind of just in the mood to write a shit ton of little fics and see where they take me, anyways. Love ya, hope life is being kind to you! See you next time xoxo Gossip girl.

#ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams #ellie tlou #Spotify #fanfic #tlou

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starlightandetherealshadows · 1 year ago

Note

How are the ros when in a romance with mc?

Hi angel!

I'm going to describe kind of overarching "themes" or motifs for each of the romance options and their routes. There won't be many spoilers, but lil fun hints (fun is a loose term cuz im kinda evil).

Also, you'll get to experience romances with the RO when you read the story hehehe, trust me it's coming! The demo is only up to chapter 1...gotta give MC some time to heal from that sweet spicy trauma (or not).

Chapter 2 Part 1 is coming along quite nicely, I'm anticipating it to be about 30K without code.

Without further ado, here are the romance vibes for the RO in Memento Mori!

Delphine: "i never knew love until I met you", breakfast in bed and massages after a long day, she wants to spoil you, "i wish i could stop time, I wish I could keep this forever." You make her feel worthy, you make her feel seen. She remembers all of your favorite things, her love language is words of affirmation and gift giving. She's protective over you; she lets you see the parts of herself she keeps hidden. all her favorite love songs are about you.

"I wanna love me, the way that you love me. for all of my pretty, and all of my ugly too. I'd love to see me from your point of view. I wanna trust me, the way that you trust me. Ooh, 'cause nobody ever loved me like you do. I'd love to see me from your point of view" POV by Ariana Grande

Honorable Mention: A Thousand Years by Christina Perri

Zero Chevalier: "MC over morals", it's soft smiles and softer touches, like you're the most precious thing he's ever held. it's wide eyed surprise at your reciprocation, love that is dark and consuming, you're in his sweetest dreams, and you're the light in his darkest nightmares, "remind me that this is real." has a hundred drawings of you in his sketchbook "You're my home."

"There's a lover in the story, but the story's still the same. There's a lullaby for suffering, and a paradox to blame. But it's written in the scriptures. And it's not some idol claim. You want it darker. We kill the flame." You Want it Darker by Leonard Cohen

Honorable Mention: Peace by Taylor Swift

Xa'eks/Xa'veed: war between head and heart, not sure who is falling first and who is falling harder, not only bends the rules, but breaks them for you. overwhelmed by the severity of their emotions, wants to make up for all the years they spent without knowing you, has told the stars about you, knows they will lose you but loves you like they won't, you could live inside them and it wouldn't be close enough, love language is physical touch

"I can't help but love you, Even though I try not to. I can't help but want you. I know that I'd die without you. I can't help but be wrong in the dark. 'Cause I'm overcome in this war of hearts. I can't help but want oceans to part. 'Cause I'm overcome in this war of hearts" War of Hearts by Ruelle

Honorable Mention: Illicit Affairs by Taylor Swift

Ayana Tsosie: let me be your peace (when the world is going to shit), there's nothing wrong with loving again, we have more on the line than love, you can't fight your heart without hurting yourself in the long run. she keeps an eye on you across rooms and battlefields, she treats you as her equal, you've become one of the best parts of her life (new and old), you borrowed her heart and refused to give it back, but she gave it willingly. your hand in hers is what love poems are written about.

"Have you ever wished for an endless night? Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight. Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself. Will it ever get better than tonight?" Glitter in the Air by P!nk

Honorable Mention: Love Me Like You Do by Elle Goulding

Cecelia/Chase: friends to lovers but I love my friends just as deeply, they don't know they love you until they almost lose you, there's butterflies in my bloodstream (it must be because of you), partners in crime, communication without words. they know what you need before you do, they bring you flowers and will choose to stare at you over the most beautiful sunsets (because nothing compares in their eyes)

"I'm dancing in the dark. With you between my arms, barefoot on the grass. Listening to our favorite song, I have faith in what I see. Now I know I have met an angel in person" Perfect by Ed Sheeran

Honorable Mention: Say You Won't Let Go by James Arthur

#interactive fiction #interactive novel #interactive game #interact if #if wip #ask: answered #twine if

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satorusnovia · 2 years ago

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𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥

ch. 2: Kissing Scars

❦Pairing: Satoru Gojo x (f) Reader

❦Genre: Modern AU, romance, angst, forbidden love

❦Status: Ongoing

❦Summary: Your first touch, first love, first everything is stuck with no other option than to leave you to go to a whole new country across the world. 7 years flash by within the blink of an eye when you reunite with your past lover, but he's too late. You've already promised your love and detion to another even though that marriage is corrupting right before your eyes. But, of course that isn't enough to stop your pretentious past lover from stirring up old chemistry the two of you once shared. Only rule? Keep it confidential.

❦Warnings: NSFW content, emotional/physiological, manipulation/abuse, unhealthy relationships, mental health issues, heavy drinking, smoking, and graphic violence.

❦A/N: Hi, my name is Victoria. This is my fanfic and I hope you guys enjoy it! Please let me know your thoughts and opinions! ૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა

༊࿐ ͎. ｡˚ ° ⊹ ˚. ͎. ｡˚ ° ⊹ ˚. ͎. ｡˚ ° ⊹ ˚. ͎. ｡˚ ° ⊹ ˚. ͎. ｡˚ ° ⊹ ˚. ͎. ｡˚ ° ⊹ ˚.

During class, you couldn't stop stealing glances at Satoru when he didn't notice as he spoke to his friends. One friend was a guy that had black hair tied into a man bun with almond-shaped raven eyes and the other was a girl that had short brunette hair with eye bags.

Deep down you hoped Satoru would approach you, but you didn't want to admit it to yourself.

Was he ignoring you? Was he pretending like nothing happened? Did he plan on ever talking to you after the night you two shared?

Millions of thoughts flooded your mind that you didn't even notice the albino standing in front of you.

"Hey, pretty girl." He spoke, ripping you from your thought process.

"Oh, hi." You replied.

Wait, did he just call me ‘pretty girl’ ? You asked yourself.

Satoru furrowed his brows in confusion and slight worry. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" You ask, putting on a slight fake smile and he could tell but chose not to mention it.

"Nothing. You just seemed out of it." He replied with a lollipop between his lips.

"Your concealer looks good." You whisper for only him to hear with a smile on your face.

He returns the smile. "Thank you." He whispers back. "Anyway, when do you wanna finish our project?"

༺ ♡ ༻

1 month passed and you found yourself around Satoru a lot more.

You two were currently on the swings at an empty park since no one would want to be out here in this weather, but you and Satoru brought the proper clothes to keep you warm. You two just wanted to be somewhere alone together.

"Your skin is healing." You say.

Satoru stopped wearing concealer because his bruises became fainter.

"Yeah." He says. It looks like he's trying to say something, the way he avoids eye contact and bites his bottom lip.

He tilts his head back, closes his eyes, and lets out a deep sigh. Vapor escapes his lips from the chilly weather and he finally turns to you.

"My father..." Satoru pauses for a moment. Whatever it was, you could tell this was very hard for him to say, so you show him he has your full attention by shifting your body towards him and your eyes glued to his. "he did this to me." He finally says.

You're quiet and let him continue. "He runs a business of a huge company, which means he's out on business trips a lot, but on the rare days he's home..." Satoru breaks eye contact and looks into the distance. "My mother suffers from depression and my father has anger issues, so he tends to get mad at her very easily because of her mental illness. He views her as a lazy, good-for-nothing. I'm the only one who takes her illness seriously. I have to look after her to make sure she takes her antidepressant medication because she won't take it if I don't tell her. She finds it useless. When I see my father screaming at her and hurting her my blood boils and I can't help but jump in and defend her, so his solution is beating the shit out of me, I guess. I don't hit him back because he's my father...I could never do that to him." Satoru's voice was suffocated by agony as he stared at a tiring swing gently moving side to side from the wind. "I'd rather have him hurt me than my mother. She used to be so loving and happy. Everyone always teased me because I was a 'momma's boy'. She was the best mother a kid could ask for, but the greater my dad's anger issues grew, the further she fell into that state."

You didn't say anything. Instead, you got up from your swing and stood in front of him. You opened your arms as the albino looked up at you. A gentle, sad smile rested on your lips and Satoru immediately stood up and clung to you. He didn't cry, or say anything, but you could tell by the tone in his voice and everything you just heard that he needed a hug more than anything right now. It's the least you could do for him. You wrapped your arm around him with one hand while the other went to run your fingers through his silky hair.

A sigh of relief escapes Satoru's lips as he melts into your embrace.

You two slowly sat on the floor, still embracing one another as you finally wrapped both your arms around him. You heard small, muffled sobs against the crook of your neck, where he nuzzled his head and you let him cry it out.

It was odd for you to see such a vulnerable man, but you didn't judge him and that's exactly why he decided to tell you the truth behind his scars.

Once you two finally let go, Satoru had puffy eyes along with a Rudolph red nose. You cup his face and kiss the faded bruise on his cheek. The albino was confused at first until you also kissed the bruise on his temple, the one above his eyebrow, and finally the one underneath his lips.

You kissed all his scars.

When you pulled away, you saw the way his eyes widened and pupils expanded. Love swarmed the skies in his eyes.

His hands cupped your cheeks and gave you the warmest kiss you've ever had, despite the cold weather surrounding you two.

His lips were warm and plump against your lips. You could feel the love radiating off his kiss. You can sense the passion that was trying not to burst in his heart. The kiss was full of devotion, adoration, and most importantly, love.

You were falling head over heels for this boy and you sure as hell weren't gonna stop.

༺ ♡ ༻

You've already met Satoru's friends and you found out their names were Suguru Geto and Ieiri Shoko. Their personalities were unique, but you could tell they deeply cared about Satoru, which you were grateful for considering his own parents couldn't do that.

They slowly became your friends as well. You especially got close to Ieiri. You two were a lot alike.

It's been a couple of months since Satoru told you the truth behind his scars. You guys were particularly inseparable after that experience. He walked you to all your classes even if that meant he would be late to his own. You scolded him when you found out he's been late to them just for your sake. You two hung out after school almost every day just to be around each other's presence. Often his friends tagged along, but on the days they didn't, you two flirted a lot. Even when they did hang out with you two, you guys would still flirt, but both of you would have to hold back on certain comments to each other.

Satoru would often give you a quick peck when you have to go your separate ways or in the heat of the moment. He would also hold your hand when you two were walking somewhere and gave very tight hugs when he would greet you. It was nice, but weird at the same time because he never officially asked you out. You told yourself to be patient and that he would eventually ask you out, but it's already been months.

You were hanging off the edge of Ieri's bed, your head nearly touching the floor as you were lost in thought.

"Don't you think it's weird Satoru hasn't asked me out yet?" You asked Ieiri who was sitting next to her open window with a cigarette between her fingers as she blew smoke outside.

She turns to you and sees your upside-down figure and chuckles, but that chuckle awkwardly fades. "Yeah, it is kinda weird, isn't it?" She responds and faces the window once again, making your eyebrows furrow.

"There's definitely something you're not telling me." You get up from your upside-down position and sit cross-cross, facing Ieiri and giving her your full attention.

Ieiri blows out the last of her cigarette and flicks it outside. "With everything that happened between Satoru's parents, he's never really seen a healthy version of love. Even before his mom became depressed, his parents argued a lot." She says and finally rips her eyes away from the window to meet your eyes. "Because of that, commitment is not only a huge thing for him, but it scares him. He's scared his relationship will end up like theirs. I mean, he's never been in a relationship and we all know his looks could kill. Every girl who has asked him out has been turned down and that's a lot of fucking girls."

You stare at the floor, finally being able to connect the dots. You felt bad you didn't realize before, but you're also confused. If he never talks to any other girl other than Ieiri, then why did he decide to talk to you?

"Don't beat yourself up about it. I'm sure he'll ask you out sooner or later and if he doesn't, pop the question." Ieiri says, making you look up at her confused.

"What question?"

"The question everyone is scared to ask." She says with a small smirk. "'What are we?'"

Your heart drops just by those words alone. It's so scary to ask that kind of thing, but what other choice will you have if he doesn't ask you to be his girlfriend? What will you guys be to one another?

"Tell him you're looking for a serious relationship and that you don't like to fool around and if he says he can't give you that, then he missed out."

Ieiri was right. "Okay, if he doesn't say anything by the end of this week, I'll ask him."

Satoru's POV

"Dude, when are you gonna ask out y/n?" Suguru asked his white-haired friend as they played video games.

"Huh?" Satoru doesn't hear Suguru because he's way too concentrated on the game. Suguru sighs in annoyance and purposefully kills Satoru. "Damnit!" The albino looks at his raven-haired friend. "We're teammates, why did you kill me?"

"I asked you a question." Satoru looks confused and it only shows he wasn't paying attention. "When are you gonna ask out y/n?" Suguru repeats.

He saw the wave of anxiety that flew past his white-haired friend when he said that.

The albino breaks eye contact and stares at the TV that says 'GAME OVER' in bold red text. "Why does that matter right now?"

"Because she's my friend and if I didn't know any better, it kind of looks like you're leading her on."

These words make Satoru turn to Suguru with wide eyes. "Are you insane? Why would I ever do that to her?"

His voice is full of defense. Suguru keeps his expression neutral. "You act like a couple with her, but don't even have the balls to ask her out?"

Satoru's expression twists in slight anger. "You know why."

"I do." His friend responds. "But is that really how you want to live your life? Never experiencing love or an actual relationship because of your parents? That sounds depressing to me."

Satoru looks at the ground with a small frown. "I know, I'm just scared. I've never felt this way about someone." Satoru rests his elbows on his knees, holding his face in his hands. "I think I’m in love with her…I don't know what to do."

Suguru can see the frustration building up in Satoru.

Satoru feels a hand on his shoulder. "You’re definitely in love with her. Go for it." He hears his voice say. "Y/n is one of the sweetest and most understanding people I know. She definitely won't break your heart and if anything, she'll show you what real love feels like if you give her that chance."

༺ ♡ ༻

It was a Friday night and Satoru picked you up late at night for some odd reason. He told you he had a surprise. Of course, you had to sneak out because your parents would never let you out this late.

You decided to go in your pj's which was normally a baggy shirt and sweatpants. You didn't care to put on any makeup because he told you last minute.

You snuck out through your window and it reminds you of the time Satoru snuck out of your house. You laugh at yourself that you didn't even remember you could sneak him through your window and instead, you went through all that trouble of sneaking him to the front door.

You walk to the sidewalk and find Satoru's car. Satoru gets out of the car and walks to the passenger side to open the door for you. He always did that for you. You noticed he didn't wear his glasses this time.

You give him a peck on the cheek, making him smile, and step inside the car. He closes the door and walks back to the driver's side and shuts the door.

"You look so pretty." He says as he puts on his seatbelt.

You're a bit shocked by his sudden compliment. As you mentioned earlier, you dressed like a homeless person and didn't have any makeup on. It was completely different from your everyday makeup and new outfits accessorized with jewelry, but you took his compliment anyway. "Thank you."

༺ ♡ ༻

You woke up to Satoru shaking your shoulder, telling you to wake up.

"Five more minutes." You unconsciously say and brush his hand off you. You hear Satoru chuckle and it reminds you that you're not in your bed.

You blink away your tiredness and look at him with hazy eyes, making him laugh even more.

"You're so cute." He leans down and kisses your cheek.

You look at him and rolled your eyes, trying to hide your smile, but you couldn't hide it from Satoru. He notices all the small expressions on your face every time.

You look out the window. "Where are we?"

There's nothing but trees and fields surrounding you. Not a single person around nor a building. If it was anyone but Satoru you would have assumed they brought you here to murder you.

"You'll see. Just stay here." Satoru gets out of the car and opens the trunk. When he gets what he needs, you see a folded blanket in his hands. You watch him from the window as he spreads the blanket in the grass. While he does this you check your phone and it was 3 am. It took you 3 hours to get here. What could he possibly have planned to make this trip worth 3 hours?

Once Satoru is done, he goes to your door and opens it for you with a bright smile on his face.

"What are you doing?" You raise a brow at him.

"Get out and you'll see."

He keeps saying, 'You'll see'.

He takes your hand as you step out of his car. It's only one more week till summer break so the weather is fresh and warm. It smells just like summer midnight.

You look at the blanket spread on the grass and you still can't help, but be confused.

He took you out in the middle of nowhere at midnight just to lay on a blanket? You sit down anyways and Satoru sits right beside you.

He lays down and you turn and look at him. He can see your confused face. He pats the space beside him without saying a word.

You sigh in defeat and lay next to him. When your eyes make contact with the sky, you feel all the air tucked inside your lungs, suddenly disappear for a second. Your heart feels fuzzy and your mouth falls open in awe.

Stars.

So many stars.

As a girl who was raised in the city, you rarely saw them and from the conversations you've had with Satoru, he could tell you've never been outside of Tokyo, Japan.

He looks at you, satisfied with your reaction. He was right.

The two of you lay there in silence for what felt like an eternity. All you could think about was the sight in front of you. So many stars all at once.

"They're so beautiful." You finally say.

"Not as beautiful as you," Satoru whispers.

"What?" You ask even though you heard him crystal clear. You just couldn't believe you heard that correctly.

"Face it y/n. Even the stars get jealous of the way you outshine them."

You look at him to see his eyes are already on you. His lips pulled into a smirk when he saw a pink tint creep onto your cheeks.

It's crazy you thought the exact same thing about his eyes.

"Stop saying crazy things." You whisper and look away due to your flustered face.

"But you make me crazy."

You don't respond and instead, just sigh.

You're the one making me crazy, Satoru.

Your parents always told you young people never knew a thing about love when they would catch you watching movies or reading books about teenage romance. They called it stupid and unrealistic.

You never listened to them because they weren’t even in love with each other. They were stuck in a loveless marriage, so who were they to assume?

Often times you would question if teenage love exists as it does in movies and romance novels. You almost gave up hope until Satoru stepped into your life.

Silence fills the air yet again. You're looking at the stars, but Satoru is looking at you.

He truly believed you shine brighter than any star. Nothing was better to him than the sight of you.

He finds a very small ounce of strength within him to rip his eyes off you and onto the sky before you notice him staring.

"Look y/n, a shooting star." He points at the sky. "Did you wish?"

You sigh in disappointment. "Ugh, I didn't have time."

"And there is something you wish for?"

"Yes." You say quietly.

"What did you wish?" He asks.

"I was wishing that we were two people who would never need to say goodbye."

This makes Satoru's eyes widen. He looks at you, but your expression is neutral. "Why would you wish for that?"

"Because I never want there to come a time where we have to say 'goodbye'." You respond with full honesty and finally decide to face him.

His eyes were still wide. The reflection of the moonlight along with the stars made his eyes twinkle in the night.

"Is that weird to wish—"

Satoru cut you off by his lips crashing onto yours. He was on top of you faster than you could even blink.

You wrapped your arms around his neck. As his hands touched every part of you.

His kiss was full of longing.

Soon that kiss turned into a make-out as his tongue invaded your mouth. He tugged at your shirt, signaling you to take it off. You held your arms up as he swiftly took off the piece of clothing.

His hand landed on the hook of your bra as his eyes met yours, asking for consent and you gently nodded. He didn't waste another second and unclasped your bra. His hands went to play with your breasts, earning you to moan his name as you grind against him.

He swore he was gonna come if you keep moaning his name like that. Soon enough he took off your sweats and you did the honors of taking off his shirt.

You continued to grind against him and he couldn't fucking take it anymore. He had to be inside you or he'd lose his damn mind.

"Can I?" He asked with two fingers hooked around your panties, but the look in his eyes was practically begging.

"Yes." You respond softly.

Satoru was about to proceed, but he suddenly stopped, making you hesitant. Did he change his mind?

"Shit, there's something I wanted to ask you first. It's the whole reason I took you here. I should've asked sooner but..." he paused for a moment, making your stomach turn with worry.

Was this question so important that he has to put a pause button on you two fucking?

"Fuck it. Can I be your boyfriend?" He looks at you with his face more flustered than it already was from your make-out.

You try to hold in your laugh, but it's no use. You laugh right in his face, making him embarrassed.

You weren't laughing at him but at the whole situation. The fact that this man was on top of you, about to enter you and he blurted a question like that. Who says 'Can I be your boyfriend'? You found it so cute he phrased it like that. It was definitely his first time asking out a girl.

"I'm sorry." You apologize, wiping a tear from the corner of your eyes due to your intense laughter. "Of course, you can be my boyfriend, Toru."

You can feel the heat of embarrassment radiating off of him. He crashes his lips onto yours to try and hide his embarrassment, but he couldn't hide something like that from you and before you knew it you two were fucking till sunrise.

༺ ♡ ༻

The doors were finally open to Summer break. You spent almost every hour of the day together with Satoru. I mean it was teenage love after all. You, Satoru, Ieiri, and Suguru did many things over the break.

Of course, you two also had days you didn't see each other, but when you didn't, it felt like torture. Like I said, teenage love.

You were currently getting ready for your aunt's wedding. Satoru was about to pick you up and your parents were already on their way to the wedding. You decided to go with your boyfriend since it would be the perfect opportunity for him to meet your parents and the rest of your family.

You couldn't meet his mom because of the state she was in. Satoru said meeting new people gave her lots of anxiety, but he did say you could eventually meet her, with time. You didn't even care about meeting his asshole of a father, but you knew you'd have to eventually. The only reason you haven't yet is because Satoru's dad has been on a business trip since the beginning of Summer break and it was already August.

Y/n: Where are you?

Right when you sent that message, you heard a knock at your door. You hurried to the door and when you opened it, your eyes are met with blue eyes pooling of warm liquid with a bruised face.

Your heart feels as though someone tore it directly from your chest and ripped it apart right in front of you.

How could someone do this to their own child? Who in their own fucked up mind would even think about doing such a thing?

Satoru looks down ashamed and wipes his eyes. "He...did this right when I was on my way out. I didn't want to stand you up, so..."

His father must've recently arrived back home.

Your first instinct was to hug him. "You don't have to explain yourself, Toru."

After you finally let go he saw tears in your eyes that waved white flags as they ran down your cheeks. He handed you the flowers you didn't even realize he was holding because you were too preoccupied with his well-being. Of course, he bought your favorite.

You silently accept the flowers and when you do, he uses his free hands to wipe the tears running down your cheeks. "It's okay." He says.

It's not.

Nothing about this is okay, but you don't feel like saying anything. You bring him inside and shut the door. You grab his hand and take him to your bathroom where you kept your first aid kit.

Satoru sat on your toilet seat as you pressed a cotton pad with alcohol one of his bruises, making him wince. "You didn't have to come. I would've understood." You say, breaking the silence.

"But I really want to meet your family."

The words that escaped his mouth make your heart throb.

What am I going to do with you, Satoru?

"You're lucky there aren't any open wounds because then we wouldn't be able to conceal it." You say. "Speaking of which, did you bring it?"

Satoru pulls out his concealer from his pocket. You conceal his face and make sure you don't miss any places.

"As good as new." You put on a fake smile, but you knew he could see it was fake. The two of you were transparent to one another.

"I'm fine now, I promise. No need to be worried." He says as though he could read your mind.

It pisses you off even more when he says shit like that. 'It's fine', 'It's not that big of a deal', 'No need to worry', and yada yada.

He could read your displeased expression, so he decides to change the subject. "Did I mention how beautiful you look? I mean you always do, but I wanna keep you all to myself when you're all dolled up like this."

You can see what he's doing but go along with it anyway.

You roll your eyes. "Too bad."

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