#i don't think with who she is it'd ever be healthy or long lasting

[leliwardens]

so leliana's type is moronsexual (the warden) but also morally dubious orlesian older women (justinia, marjolaine) so therefor in a non-leliwarden worldstate that would make leliana/vivienne not only possible, but inevitable.

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: Reason with the Mad Mage & Diplomacy with Elves

Note: everything from here on is retroactive/reread, because I stayed up until about 6am on Wednesday night reading until the end because that was the only way to ensure that the characters would be okay.

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Hey look, now our protagonists are the food, instead of running around holding cooking implements! I'm sure that's fine!! (Look at that lion's eyes!!!)

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I really like how...everyone? In the pasty gets at least 1 fight where they're totally on their own, for whatever reason: Laios with the living armor and again now with all the dragons, Chilchuck with the mimic, Izutsumi with the succubi, Marcille with the rabbits... I note that the reasons for it are escalating:

Laios fought the armor-captain alone as a strategic choice, while the rest of the party distracted the rest of the armor in the other room

Chilchuck fought the mimic alone because the rest of the party was asleep down the hall

Izutsumi fought the succubi alone because the rest of the party was already down, though not yet dead

Marcille fought the rabbits alone because most of the party was dead and Izutsumi had fled

Laios fights the dragons AND the Mad Mage directing them alone because the entire rest of the party is dead

Solid writing, that. And Senshi...has a monster that is His To Fight, that is where we got some special Senshi character exploration, but the whole point of it was that Senshi, who had been alone for so long, now had people reaching out to hold him, and to make food for him.

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I just like when they say things outright. "Meals are an act of optimism." "Only the dead don't eat." Fuck yeah!

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EYES EYES EYES EYES EYES. Thinking a lot here about that post about how Thistle is a great example of an antagonist who is really truly too far gone to "talk it out" with. His intentions ARE good, and Laios sees that so Laios tries... and Thistle is also trying, it's just...the demon has been playing on him for too long with too much skill.

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He's so! Earnest! And young! It's implied that he dies in the end, and I do think that's a narratively solid and restful ending for him, but man I want this kid to live and maybe covertly tag along with Mithrun on exploring the risen kingdom and defending it from random monsters, and re-learning how to have healthy desires. I think it'd be good for both of them, and also, potentially very funny.

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me, 2 posts ago:

me, now: Ah, yes, that makes sense... Not our heroes but Someone sure is.

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Fucking love multiple consecutive dungeon lords going, "my last wish is to fuck that guy up."

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They're just...happy...

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Love love love Chilchuck taking charge when Laios isn't there, especially in the context of "imminent tense 'diplomatic' meeting." He formed a union! He's good at this shit, and he'd be even better at it if he didn't have the handicap of being disrespected as a halffoot, and it's wonderful to see him with a team that has learned to respect him beyond that prejudice!

Also, Senshi's tiny eye wrinkle of determination <3

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Never mind my previous comment. Chilchuck is never allowed to do diplomatic relations with the elves ever again.

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Kabru, internally: oh my god we're all going to die

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I'm just noting Ms. fresh-faced aristocratic scion and the handful of extremely competent, notch-eared criminals she's in charge of... The structure of this lead group of Canaries is very interesting, because Mithtrun is nominally in charge, and he genuinely does command in combat and other matters focused on immediate dungeon lord-hunting. But he's ONLY focussed on that, so Pattindol is clearly accustomed to taking the lead in situations with more social nuance... And the criminal members make decisions on their own such as to take advantage of Mithrun's typical disappearance to go snoop around this house... But they are accustomed, and I'm sure required, to have permission/orders from a guard to use their black magic specialties, see: the enchantment of Laios, Chilchuck & Senshi here, or in their opening mushroom fight when everyone was shouting out how they could kill the mega-mushroom.

...I'm gonna pay attention to how Pattindol and Flamela [I hope I'm getting these names right] interact later. The Canaries are such an interesting paramilitary unit.

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This is just a screencap of Kabru's life for the rest of his life. Good luck, Mr. Future Royal Advisor!

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Every good adventure story, and arguably every good story, period, reaches a point where to explain it makes you sound COMPLETELY insane - sometimes even with the context of the rest of the story up to that point. This...is very much that point.

I love that point so much.

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It's unreasonably stressful that Kabru's hands are obviously magically, invisibly handcuffed this entire scene. It's a metaphor for how he's handcuffed by the general threat the Canaries represent, of course, making him unable to warn Laios of the dangers of both the Canaries and of the demon. Being able to weird a sword would do nothing to help if it's going well or if it all goes wrong. But it's still stressful! And Laios doesn't know about the dangers just like he doesn't put together that Kabru is invisibly handcuffed!

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God I love Marcille. And her problem-solving methods.

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FINALLY, SOME GOOD FUCKING SILENT COMMUNICATION.

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So! A court magician's daughter clearly outranks an aristocratic scion sent into the Canaries to prove her family's loyalty to the crown. That makes sense.

Unfortunately, Mithrun's single brain cell, while focussed entirely on destroying the demon, is still capable of Insight checks, and the criminals are basically unfazed by the court hierarchy games that Marchille is trying to play.

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Why does EVERY elf assume that Marcille's great wish would be to be a full elf! I want to drop Elrond on these people and watch him verbally eviscerate them.

Joke's on you, motherfucker! Her greatest wish would (she thinks) serve all people, and has secondary effects that she could still enjoy!

Marcille: [hears Izutsumi lurking, ready to kick Mithrun in the face]

Marcille: Alright, time to tell a bishie to step the fuck off.

[cassiebones]

What headcanons would you have for Alice or Jen in Agatha All Along? :)

Alice was a mama's girl despite their difficult relationship. Her mother was much better at showing her love for Alice than Evanora was at showing hers (if there ever was any love for Agatha) but she focused so much on breaking a curse that Alice was certain was never actually real. Alice still craved her attention, always proud to show her something she made or playing her a new song that she learned.

Alice is not a morning person. She was the one who signed up for graveyard shifts as a cop. She thrived on late nights, the moon giving her more energy. She was always happy to take somebody's late night shifts for them. She sometimes had to work mornings, which made her long for the sweet release of Death.

Despite her moody, edgy style, she needs a crap ton of sugar in her coffee. She cannot drink it black like her co-workers always did. They teased her for this, but she was fine with her Cinnamon Dolce lattes, thank you very much.

That tattoo was not her mother's idea, originally. Alice saw her mother stressing out over the curse and looked up ways that she could protect herself in a more permanent way than wearing a necklace she may lose or something else like that. So she looked up the symbol and showed her mother, who didn't even hesitate to book her with a friend. Lorna held her hand the entire time, and Alice forced herself not to cry from the pain, trying to be brave for her mother.

Alice visited her mother's grave (which wasn't a real grave bc she didn't have enough of her mother to bury) on every major holiday, leaving flowers and crystals (because her mother believed in their power) and talking to her about how her life is going.

She had a cat, named Cheeto, who was the most orange cat you ever met. She loved him, though. She found him while working, when he was still a kitten. She fell in love with him immediately and brought him home with her after her shift ended. She told Jen about him before she died. Jen goes to her apartment after getting off The Road, and takes Cheeto home with her, honoring Alice in the only way she can.

Jen is almost the opposite of Alice.

She is a morning person. She likes to wake with the sun and do yoga and all that healthy shit. She has a brand to uphold, after all.

She does GRWM videos all the time, showing people what she puts in her organic smoothies (cutting out the part where she puts in protein powder that nobody can know she uses) and egg-white omelettes. She's a vegetarian onscreen only.

Again, it's her brand. Her last name is literally a vegetable (she makes cannibalism jokes when she adds kale to her smoothies).

She's always been openly bisexual and has several pieces of art that reflect that in her home. She laments about her dating life a lot online and has gotten several offers from her fans to be taken on dates. She almost always declines, but she's touched obviously by the interest.

She and Agatha had a situationship. Jen started to catch feelings, but Agatha was closed off emotionally because she was still hung up on Rio and the pain she'd caused. When Jen tried to get closer, Agatha pushed her away and was not nice about it. She figured it'd be easier if Jen hated her. Jen was definitely bitter, which is why she believed every bad thing that anybody had to say about Agatha, including that she traded away her own son for the Darkhold.

She bound herself, I think. I think Agatha was lying about having bound her in the 1920's. Not that I don't think she would have done that for money (she'd probably do it for shits and giggles tbh) but I don't think Agatha actually did it to Jen. I think Jen was so traumatized by the men who tried to bind her that she actually end up binding herself. She just convinced herself that it was them that bound her because it was the easier solution.

Jen genuinely loves hiking. It's the best way to unplug and just be herself for a little bit. She'll go to the nearest mountain and just walk for miles until she gets tired. She loves watching sunsets on these hikes. She also secretly loves camping because it reminds her of the years she had to spend living off the land as a younger witch.

She also really loves spas. She has a standing bi-weekly appointment at her local spa. She's a complicated person.

If Alice had lived, there's no doubt in my mind that she and Jen would have become a thing. Opposites attract and all that. They both have trauma, even if it's different kinds of trauma. I think they'd make a good pair.

Agatha would tease them and claim to be the reason they got together. She wouldn't exactly be wrong.

[sapphire-weapon]

Do you think it's possible that some RE characters could be asexual? Or, that they won't be very sexually active for different reasons? I was wondering that since someone said Leon wouldn't probably very active, but I wanted your take on the subject because your opinion is the only one that matter to me.

i'll be completely transparent with this and say outright that i don't understand asexuality super well, so i don't want to speak as though i'm some sort of authority on this.

i don't think that any of the cast are sex-repulsed, but i know that there's different shades and types of asexuality that i'm not very familiar with, so i'm just going to do my best with the language i have.

i think chris has a very low libido and can probably count on his hands the number of sexual partners he's had in his life -- and the vast majority of them, if not all of them, happened before the arklay mountain incident. like, he wasn't very sexually active even before the trauma, but post-trauma it just became the least important thing to him. like, if anyone in the cast comes anywhere close to being genuinely asexual, it'd probably be chris.

i'm assuming that the person that you're talking about was referring to remake leon, because OG leon is a fucking whore who swaps his vice of choice between booze and pussy depending on where he's at in his character arc. or, at least tries to. his success in actually getting laid is debatable, but i don't think OG leon ever stopped wanting it or trying to pursue it.

remake leon, i think, allowed his libido to die. like, i think he had a very average, healthy sex drive at one point, but as he became more withdrawn and isolated, he also became more uncomfortable with extended acts/moments of intimacy. and, at first, he kind of wrestled with the whole "i want it and i miss it but i can't bring myself to do it so i guess i'll just jerk off or something" thing. but as time went on, the further he got away from the last time he was with someone, the less he started to miss it, and now not having it is just any other regular part of his life that he doesn't think about anymore, really. he doesn't go after it, doesn't expect it, and doesn't care. but there's still some kind of subconscious longing he feels, which is how moments like lingering with ashley still in his arms after she jumped out the window happen.

but that's really it. it's just chris and remake leon that i get these vibes from. i could maybe make a case for sherry, too, but i'm kind of on the fence about that one.

everyone else, i feel, is varying degrees of average -- with the exception of claire, who i think has a higher than average libido. like, even jill, even with her insane trauma -- i don't think it manifests for her in this way.

[purplesurveys]

1775

Have you ever had a sexually gay experience?  Sure.

Do you find any of your friends hot?  They're attractive but 'hot' isn't a word I'd use for them - not because they aren't, but just because my friends feel like family and it'd mostly feel weird for me to call them hot.

Are your legs freshly shaven?  No, I think it's at least been a week since I last shaved them.

Does your best friend wear glasses?  She doesn't.

Have you ever woke up crying from a bad dream?  Yes, once every few months. The few seconds crying after waking up feels the worst, and I always need a while to recover and calm down.

Who knows more about you: online friends or offline?  It's actually neither because the real answer is everyone who reads through whatever the hell I put out on here, lol.

Does your family own any land?  I believe they do.

Who is the oldest sibling in your family?  That would be me.

Are you close to any of your aunts/uncles?  I wouldn't use the word 'close' because I think I'll always be shy around my older relatives at the end of the day, but I do have my favorite aunts and uncles.

When was the last time you were in a hospital?  2020.

Do you plan on losing weight any time soon?  No.

What do you think of people who get drunk every weekend?  I largely don't care.

Are you looking forward to anything?  I'm seeing Se So Neon this weekend! :) Then I think we have another long weekend by the end of the month so the thought of that and getting to rest for an additional day is nice, too.

What was the last bad news you heard?  Matthew Perry's death. I've jumped back into the Friends rabbit hole since that day -- in fact I have an episode playing in the background now.

What was your GPA in high school?  We don't have GPAs here.

Do you require a lot of private time?  Erm, not really. For the most part, I'm usually most desperate to be alone once I've reached my ceiling capacity from a work thing... like my social battery automatically running out when I know a PR event is about to finish, lol.

Do you know how to play any odd instruments most people can't play?  Nope.

Have you ever had a parasite before?  As far as I know, no.

Have you ever been punched in the face before?  I've been slapped in the face but not punched.

Are there regular trains in and out of your town/city?  Sure.

Do you bathe your pets regularly?  No, they both get bathed once every few months.

What was the last animal you saw, and was it a pet?  My dogs, and yes.

Who was the last person you messaged on Facebook?  I'm not too sure, I wasn't in a chatty mood today. Angela I think.

When was the last time you saw them?  More than a month ago.

Where do you see yourself in a year?  Oh dear. I'm making it a point to be in a different job by then. That's all I'm envisioning for myself for now. Hopefully 2024 is also considerably better than this year and that I am happier and looking forward to things more.

Do you know anyone who has overdosed?  No.

Where are your siblings as of now?  In their rooms.

Have you ever lost anyone close to cancer?  Yes.

Do you personally know anyone who is transgender?  Yes.

When was the last time you got a shot?  April when I needed to complete multiple doses after a dog bite.

Have you ever been into a car accident? Yes but they have always been minor and I've never been in one where someone got seriously hurt.

When was the last time you spent over $100 in one transaction?  Just a few days ago when I bought tickets for Miss Saigon.

Are you a breakfast person?  Not really. I never even have breakfast haha.

What type of books do you like to read?  Autobiographical ones.

How do you get rid of hiccups?  I hold my breath. Works like, 80% of the time for me.

Do you have any healthy addictions?  Reading random Wikipedia articles whenever I can and picking up a bunch of trivia from it.

Do you pay much attention to speed limits while driving?  No. You never get pulled over for speeding here and it's not really a thing so it's common for me and everyone to go over.

Which parent was more strict when you were growing up?  My mom but it tbh makes sense because my dad has always worked abroad and was never around to impose rules and such.

Have you ever watched The Golden Girls?  I've seen the first few episodes when I initially planned on binge-watching it. I definitely get the appeal and I loved the scenes I saw, but I think in general the jokes are also a tad bit cheesy in today's age so I never really got to continue.

Do you like getting dirty?  The only time this is acceptable to me is when I eat with my hands and the food is supposed to be really oily and fishy. Otherwise I don't particulrly enjoy getting dirty.

Are you a very flirty person?  Nope.

Who was your favorite babysitter?  Never had one. I grew up in a duplex with extended family so there was always an older relative to take care of me, my siblings, and cousins.

Do you believe in the death penalty?  No.

Name a person that you can’t stand and tell us why?  LOL yes, a few work-related people I know. Not co-workers.

If you could have a video of one event in your life, what would the video be?  Hmm, maybe the day I saw Yoongi in concert.

What is the most illegal thing you have ever done?  Pirating movies/shows...? Hahaha idk.

Last person you sang happy birthday to?  Not singing per se but a few weeks ago I was at a Chili's with friends when a couple of customers were given a birthday greeting session by the staff - we clapped along both times just because hahaha.

Is there a song you can’t handle listening to, even though you like it?  I pick the times I listen to Yoongi's Amygdala. It's one of my favorite songs of his ever, but because of its weight and how personal it's supposed to be I listen to it sparsely so that I don't get sick of it and so that it constantly feels just as important as the first time I ever heard it.

Last time you saw fireworks?  Wednesday.

Do you have a black dog?  They both have black parts but they aren't completely that color.

If you took someone on a tour of your town, what would you show them?  I'd take them to the local museum.

Have you been to the capital of your state?  I live in it.

Would you be more in your element camping in a tent or an RV?  RV.

[doubleddenden]

Pt 4 to DD changes Ash's teams for no reason except pure boredom and pettiness. Remember this is pt 4 to the AU I've made for Kanto, Orange Islands, and Johto so far.

We're now at Hoenn and the Battle Frontier- I did group them together despite being kinda separated like Kanto and the Orange Islands were, but that's mainly because we're now reaching the point where I started missing a lot if the episodes as a kid. I can't really rewrite a story I don't know, yknow? But I can redo teams and make my own diverging points.

So... yeah. Remember I evolve or replace what I want, no hard feelings.

For the Hoenn Saga

And the revamped *Sevii Islands* Battle Frontier saga

I'll explain what I can below, but I do want to aim for shorter posts. Still a long read tho.

Starting with Hoenn:

Personally I would have loved to have given him Swampert or Blaziken instead, but Blaziken is important for May, and Swampert- while my personal favorite of the Hoenn starters- would make for repetitiveness given how in this AU, we've already fully evolved Blastoise and Feraligatr. Plus Ash's Sceptile is way too cool to get rid of.

The minor changes thus far would be simply to evolve Grovyle to Sceptile BEFORE the Hoenn League. I like Grovyle, don't get me wrong, but starters take way too damn long to evolve in the anime, especially Sceptile, who didn't evolve until towards the tail end of Battle Frontier. Didn't like that, so we're gonna say he evolves during Juan's gym battle to give the audience a healthy balance.

Corphish evolving into Crawdaunt might upset someone lol. I even agree Corphish is just a better design- but I've always, I mean ALWAYS hated it when a Pokemon more than capable of evolving in the anime just... doesn't. Made no sense to me as a kid. It also just doesn't help that Corphish was probably one of my least favorites of the crew because of his annoying voice and attitude, so i wanted to give the good ol college try (i almost deopped out) and try to salvage it somehow. I only made it slightly better imo. I could see Corphish evolving into Crawdaunt after having to climb Mt Pyre and dealing with a bunch of Ghost types, gaining a Dark type move like Knock Off and eventually Crunch to make use of that extra typing.

The last big change for the Hoenn team is just completely replacing Glalie with Aggron. I don't remember how Ash caught Snowrunt or evolved it into Glalie, it just never felt right as a kid though. Like it just kinda came out of nowhere and doesn't really feel like an Ash Pokemon to me. I don't think it ever did any big battles, either? It was a late league addition that I remember he dumped with Torkoal at Oak's lab the moment the writers saw their chance.

Enter Aron, who imo would be caught on Dewford Island and be a much better replacement- and also a favorite of mine. Aron would be a bit timid at first, but his typing would make him Hella defensive in battle, which Ash would utilize often. He'd look up to Pikachu, Tailow, Treeko, Corphish, and Torkoal because of how they seem unafraid to fight. It wouldn't be until he evolves into Lairon, right before Flannery's gym fight, that he finally becomes brave enough to fight on his own. He'd be a pretty cheerful Pokemon but easily spooked by ghosts or invisible Pokemon, or just sudden noises, but Ash would take pretty good care of it. Max also takes up a habit of giving Aron, Lairon, and eventually Aggron a nice polish to his metal armor, which spooked him at first but became one of their favorite bonding experiences.

Lairon would finally evolve right before the league after being inspired by Sceptile to try harder, and in turn prevents Team Rocket from stealing a bunch of League goers' Pokemon. Also, it'd be at this point that- surprise! The gang finds out Aggron is a *girl,* and she apparently has a crush on Sceptile after his amazing fight with Juan. Aggron would be an amazing powerhouse to the team that would help carry Ash to the top 4, but she'd gain a strange habit of acting meek and shy around Sceptile, so double battles just didn't work from that point onward.

Interesting enough, it's not some nobody with a Meowth in cowboy boots that beats Ash. The Hoenn League would actually be double battle focused, and instead he'd have to fight a rather... peculiar trainer with a blue coat and a strange device on his arm.

This would be Wes, the same Wes from Colosseum, accompanied by Rui of course, and his team would be as follows

(Based on my own Colo team)

Wes ended up being granted special permission to participate in the Hoenn Pokemon League by Steven Stone after Wes managed to show his skills against Steven during a trip to Orre. He's not a jerk per se, but he's not friendly, either, except to Pokemon. Quiet and reserved, but a terrible liar according to genki Rui. Ash and Wes have a moment to bond after the two get lost in Victory Road during separate training sessions, and both came to a mutual respect, Ash even finding a talking point about how he has an Espeon of his own.

The league battle was tough. Ash brought his usual brand of Shenanigans and Team work, but Wes is a hardened double battler by necessity. Wes makes use of amazing combos and strategies- having a Raikou definitely doesn't hurt, either, which caught EVERYONE off guard with the flawless coordination of Mantine's Rain Dance and Raikou's Thunder, which would take out Pikachu and Swellow after an attempted Thunder Armor pt 2, and deal serious damage to Aggron, Sceptile, and Torkoal. In a moment of desperation, Torkoal learns Sunny Day and Sceptile learns Solar Beam, this combo being just what they finally need to defeat Raikou and Mantine. Sceptile would take down Misdreavus, but not before it uses Perish Song. Typhlosion would take out Torkoal with the boost from Sunny Day, and even take out Crawdaunt with the lessened power towards its water type moves, leaving the unfortunate combo of Sceptile and Aggron, who is of course still smitten by Sceptile. After seeing Sceptile get messed up, Aggron finally overcomes these feelings and takes out Typhlosion, leaving only Wes's Umbreon and Espeon left. Sceptile and Aggron put up a fight, but Perish Song finally takes out Sceptile, leaving Aggron alone and damaged. She puts up a good fight, but Umbreon and Espeon's teamwork just prove too much, and Aggron and Ash lose the league. Wes would go on to win the league, but not without giving Ash a solid congratulations for coming this far, since most people don't make that far. He would then tell Ash that if he's ever in the Orre region, they should have a rematch, and part on good terms.

The rest would go about as normal with Ash and Co returning to Kanto for a bit- but it's not long until Scott invites Ash to participate in the Battle Frontier challenge he has set up out towards the Sevii Islands. I chose this instead of Kanto as a good tie in to FRLG, whose only contribution with the Sevii Islands in the anime being Chronicles, where Richie meets an old man, a Chikorita, and a Salamence as they fight Moltres... speaking of old man Silver, tho- well first.

Coming back to Oak's lab, everyone meets Ash's old Pokemon. While there, Crawdaunt decides that he wants to party with Feraligatr for a while, and Torkoal starts helping Deliah, Mimey, and Primeape with baking, so Ash decides to give him a break with his Mom.

Of all Pokemon to come say hello, it's Ash's Slowpoke. When Misty comes to visit, she tells Ash about a King's Rock she found and gifts it to Slowpoke. A Shelder from a lake hops out and clamps onto Slowpoke's head, and Slowpoke evolves into Slowking. Slowking is now much smarter, and now he is so excited to actually be able to think that he wants to travel with Ash, so Ash gladly takes him. Slowking would finally get its chance to shine with powerful psychic and water type attacks, and even make use of Skill Swap to trip up enemies.

Donphan- still being pretty young, gently persuades Ash to take him as well, so Ash proceeds to take the gang with him to the Sevii islands to complete the Battle Frontier challenge. Donphan matures a lot and learns very powerful moves like Earthquake to help bring victory.

Meanwhile, May's contests are moved here as well.

Most of the journey through Sevii is about the same as original Battle Frontier, but with certain filler plot replaced with island relevant plot.

Since Mt Ember is on One Island, we'd do the Battle Factory challenge there and have the Frontier Brain use Moltres instead of Articuno, and in a twist of fate, Ash's Blastoise would show up to fight, showing off his new move: Hydro Cannon.

7 facilities, 7 Islands, no brainer. The islands are big enough to have a few episodes on each just traveling around anyway. I'd imagine Ash would reunite with Butterfree for a bit, the gang would run into Lorelei on 4 Island, even have encounters with Deoxys, the Latis, and even Mew.

There's another arc where Ash and Pikachu reunites with Richie and Sparky, and also meet Silver- no not the GSC rival.

This Silver from the Chronicles episode. It's been a long fan theory that he might know Ash somehow due to his reaction to Richie mentioning him, some even think he's Ash's father, but I think he's too old for that. Instead, we're canonizing him in this AU as Deliah's father, and thus Ash's grandfather (keep in mind in official canon, Deliah apparently had Ash when she was only 19, so this can track). Silver is of course pretty brash, but he and Ash get along famously. Silver tells Ash about how proud he is of Ash in his last few league matches, but couldn't attend due to being so far away- one of which was chasing the legendary birds, and is amazed to hear Ash beat Moltres quite recently.

Silver would sort of join the gang for a bit as a coach to both Ash and May- for Ash, he helps to really drive home better tactics for the kind of pokemon he uses and to really tune into their feelings on a deeper level, and for May he's actually quite adept at move combinations that can wow judges. He also gives sage yet crude advice to Max at times to really help him decide what he wants to do with his life someday, and the same to Brock- actually being the first to point out that Brock can't be a breeder if he doesn't even BREED pokemon, so that'd plant the seed for Brock to change career paths in Sinnoh.

Silver's training would help May evolve Blaziken and it would learn Blast Burn, Brock evolve Marshtomp into Swampert and teach it Hydro Cannon, teach Sceptile Frenzy Plant, and he even helps Max catch his first Pokemon- a Sentret.

And this is the team I'd imagine him having

Ash would be familiar with Gengar and Alakazam from his younger days, but the rest would be completely new. Salamance is his ace for sure and his main mode of transport, and he literally fought and wrestled Armaldo for dominance before catching it, and Houndoom is Silver's pupper he hatched from an egg a year ago. We'd get a bit of background for Chikorita, and it turns out he was abandoned for being weak, so Silver took him in and is training him visually so he'll be prepared for an actual fight some day, and then they plan to find and show up the loser that abandoned him- Chikorita has taken a bit of Silver's rough and tough personality, and Silver loves the little guy's spunk.

Continuing on-

The final battle in the Battle Pyramid would take place in the Tanobi Ruins on Seven Island, and Ash would of course employ similar tactics to fight Brandon with Pikachu and his Kanto starters.

However, despite how thrilling the adventures would be, it and Hoenn would be condensed a little, because there's one more adventure I wanna squeeze in before Sinnoh.

After Ash declines the offer to become a Frontier Brain, the gang see what appears to be Shadow Lugia in the sky. They end up chasing it all the way to 4 Island with Brandon, where Team Rocket (not Jesse or James, the organization) are teaming up with Cipher in order to learn about Shadow Pokemon.

Ash and the gang end up fighting against them, but in the midst of the chaos, Shadow Lugia shows its power and steals the SS Libra containing an entire hoard of stolen Pokemon, and Sceptile and Aggron get caught up on the ship. Ash and Pikachu bravely climb aboard as it takes to the sky, leaving Brock, May, Max, and the rest of Ash's knocked out Pokemon behind. However, Silver quickly gives chase on his Salamence.

Ash gets caught by Cipher aboard the ship, and he and his Pokemon get knocked out. Little do they know that they would be riding all the way to Orre.

...which will be pt 4 :D! Pt4 will be a custom arc based on Colosseum and XD, since the anime avoided that like the plague. I already wrote more than I intended. Sigh. Well, tomorrow will probably be more detailed.

But anyway, thanks for reading. Tune in next time for a What If AU of Ash going to Orre... which may or may not come tomorrow or the next day. Unsure.

[transillusionisms]

Then let’s go ahead and have a conversation, being attracted to a child as an adult is morally wrong, and there are reasons for that, children are not even remotely close to the maturity level or mental capacity that adults are and to be attracted to somebody so young and emotionally different then you- especially when it puts you in a position of power over them- is wrong. It’s exactly why teacher/student relationships are frowned upon, because the teacher has a huge position of power of the student and therefore the relationship can never realistically be consensual or healthy. Being attracted to children is a taboo for a reason, and it’s not just because people want to “put others down” it’s because there are serious moral implications that comes with it. I don’t understand why anybody would want to be in that kind of situation, why anybody would ever want to be in such a position of power that the relationship could never be healthy- could never do anything but leave long lasting trauma.

And quite honestly if you haven’t experienced the kind of trauma that comes with that, the kind of hurt that you receive from somebody who knew better, from somebody who had that position of power over you and then abusing it then I’m not sure why you would want to speak on the issue so in depth. Because the only people who can truly understand that kind of pain are the people who go through it and *maybe* people who have professional training and experience in the mental health field.

Nobody is telling you that you’re wrong for having a “different opinion”, you’re being told you’re wrong because while you’re saying that CSA and rape and assault and abuse is bad you’re still trying to justify morally wrong behavior. That is the issue, you’re using a platform to blast the idea that age doesn’t matter and that it has no actual purpose other then to keep time when that’s wrong. Because it does matter, experience and age matter, even if people don’t want to believe that.

i think you're unnecessarily combining attraction with abuse, here. because every kind of romantic or sexual interaction between an adult and a kid is bad, and we can both agree on that. age very much does matter in relationships, you're right; a 16 and an 18 year old are fine, but a 14 year old and an 18 year old aren't. we agree on all that. other power imbalances are generally bad too; even if you're in college and you and your professor are the same age, that's not the kinda dynamic that'd lead to a healthy relationship.

the only thing i don't agree with that you're saying here is that the attraction itself is morally wrong, too. for one, it's something that people literally cannot help. it's why stuff like homohobes saying "just choose not to be gay" makes no sense at all. (no, i'm not saying you're homophobic, i just mean that you can see the whole "i can't consciously change my attractions" in other places too.)

two, people who are attracted to others can avoid interacting with them. it happens all the time; i see a pretty guy in a coffee shop, i don't interact with him, we never see each other again. stuff like that. this doesn't change if the subject of your attraction is a kid; i would argue that you're morally obligated to not mention that to the kid, but it doesn't make you a bad person for simply being attracted to them.

fantasies are morally neutral. i can fantasize about responding to queerphobia with immediate violence, even though in reality that's not really a productive way of dealing with that; that doesn't make me dangerous to be around or violent irl. sexual fantasies aren't any different. cops are horrible irl, but i'm not gonna call people doing sexual roleplay where one is a cop bootlickers for that.

attraction is morally neutral, too. a straight guy can be into a lesbian, and that doesn't mean he's a bad person for thinking she's hot or being attracted to her; it'd only be bad if he pursued her after knowing she wasn't alright with that. this applies to other things too; if you're attracted to a kid, that's morally neutral. it only becomes bad if you tell the kid about it, or try to pursue them in any way.

if this is something you can't agree on, i'm not sure more conversation will do anything :/

(also, the only reason i'm speaking on this in depth is when other people start that conversation, like the condescending emoji anon and you. i'll respond n stuff, but i'm usually not gonna start talking about it out of the blue)

[mellow-worlds]

Yesterday I learned that D has scars on her wrist. She didn't specify but was pretty upfront about it. We were talking about scars in general (just like that scene in Jaws lmao) and she said she also has scars but that they were nothing she could really tell us anything cool about. She also said that they were from a long time ago, so yee. She's super cute honestly. And I think I noticed them before but kind of didn't think they were sh scars, because she also has these little skin swirls on her neck and I thought it was the same thing.... I'm a bad human being. Oh well. I'm just happy to hear that she can openly talk about them and not feel ashamed, and she even said she used to be embarrassed about them, but decided that people who judge her for that should go fuck themselves. Yeah so long story short, she's super sweet and the coolest. I'd like to be more like her.Yesterday was a lot of fun. We went to D (guy)s place and played games and talked and it was amazing. P was also there. I keep thinking maybe he'll like me if I'm skinny. I broke my fast today at 41 hours and ate over half a bar of chocolate and feel awful. At least I didn't eat anything yesterday. Something to be kinda happy about. But yeah....... I wish I hadn't eaten so much. I feel super bad and super full and uncomfortable. I only broke my fast because I kept feeling like I was going to barf despite having literally nothing in my stomach but water. It's somehow super easy for me to decline food from my friends but I somehow struggle more to stop myself once I started eating in private. Just something to remember.I keep imagining what it'd be like to finally have my friends find out. Maybe they'd talk to me about it? I keep imagining situations where I have to explain it to people, my history with eds and why I can't stop. Especially P. Pretty much only P. Yeah.... I'm less and less convinced he'd like me but I keep imagining how much I'd let him down should we actually be in a relationship.Like that'd ever happen and I already keep fatalizing. And I also think that my childishness is bot my best and worst feature. It's kind of my entire personality, but it makes it hard for people to take me seriously. Not that there'd be any reason to. Idk I feel so sad. Yesterday I didn't feel like killing myself but honestly... I feel so out of place and unworthy of my friends, especially P. I'm such a leech. I wish I could spend every single second with my friends. I just want to ve liked and impress people but I can't. And mostly I just want to spend time with my friends because I freaking don't know I love them so much and they give me the ability to feel happy. Like 2 days ago I was super happy for no reason, thinking about P and my suicide and my other friends and my ed and being skinny. I'm super grateful for my friends. But now I am sad again when I'm alone, I am sad and tired and kind of still feel like throwing up and I freaking ate so much.... idk what to do. I had a cocoa and almost an entire bar of chocolate and yogurt and a little piece of bread and I'll have another sandwich at uni. I should just eat more fruits and healthy things. I'll eat the sandwich and do maybe another 24 hour fast. I'll need to eat tomorrow because of debate club. I should just be happy about fasting for so long in the first place, shouldn't I? Longest fast I've ever made, by like 3 hours or sum. Better than nothing. See, I can't only focus on the good part. Gosh. I hate myself. I don't think I ever won't. I hate myself. I don't think I ever haven't. I want to die again :). At least something to look forward to. I told myself I'd kill myself at the latest on December 2nd. Kinda dangerous to make promises to myself like that. Last time I didn't kms either hahaha. Makes me feel stupid and bad.

[chiefbeifongcanrailme]

Curious your thoughts on Linzin post-canon (show, not comics)? Would they ever get back together, or have angsty we can’t be together sex? Who is pining for who? Why or why not?

Well, I do have a lot of thoughts on post-canon Linzin. It's gotta be my favorite kind of Linzin ngl. I think I've said this before where I don't quite like the idea of them getting back together without any proper redemption or catharsis, you know? I will die on the Lin-deserves-better- hill and even if that means she reunites with Tenzin or finds love elsewhere, I'll take that.

This may be a little long, so brace yourself.

In terms of the angsty "we can't be together sex", I'd see that happening very early on. Pretty much breakup sex in that very moment and nothing more. With the way Lin has the tendency of being, raging before anything else, she wouldn't be someone who'll let sex manipulate her as good as it may be. She also holds her moral standards quite highly, so I don't particularly see her having "we can't be together sex" with Tenzin anything later than when they're breaking up. She'd never be one to cheat, or even facilitate cheating, even if she was/wasn't cheated on. Tenzin, on the other hand, would have sex with Lin given the opportunity, but he'd be super guilt-ridden through it and either want to turn it into an extramarital affair (our man loves committing to the deed) or do it over and over with the promise of it being the "last time". I don't think Lin deserves that though, and like I said, with her characterization, I see it nearly impossible for her to allow herself to be seduced by Tenzin again. Although, everyone makes mistakes and has moments of weaknesses. Make of that what you will😌.

When it comes to pining, that's a simple answer. Lin doesn't pine. She rolls her eyes, walks away, and stays mad with a fat grudge. Tenzin, however, definitely pines for Lin. It's so blatant in the way he looks at her. Plus, Lin took the hard route of grieving their relationship, moving on, and building walls around herself. She processed their breakup, albeit not in a healthy fashion. Tenzin jumped straight to Pema. He didn't take the time to heal or learn or grow. He just went on to the next available thing. He'd hide from his feelings while Lin would spar with those same feelings. Pacifist versus head-on, right?

Would they get back together? That's a toughie. When I watched the show for the first time, I really thought the side story was going to be a Linzin reunion, thereby normalizing divorce lol. I also thought that not having Lin be Tenzin's wife, his kids' mother and the Chief of Police was such a wasted opportunity to display how women are multifaceted and can do literally anything they want to. Given that, and everything that conspired through the four books of the show, I'd say maybe. They certainly love each other, platonically and maybe even a little more- and that's canon. But, would Tenzin throw away his picture-perfect life for Lin? Would Lin want to return her heart to the same person who broke it? The answer's yes. Because of love. But there's more: How much have they changed as people? How much around them has changed? Is it worth discarding what they now have for something they once had? Have they grown? Couldn't the memories be enough? Can they deal with each other's flaws again? Can she trust him again? There's more baggage, kids, exes, and whatnot. What would people say? I can see them doing this only if they had some kind of assurance and validation from the other. And that would require communication. But Lin is emotionally constipated and loves bottling up her feelings, and Tenzin is too much of a pusillanimous man, buckling under the pressure of anything under the sun, even a damn feather. It'd be difficult to get them back together, but not impossible. And that's what good writing is for.

I think this should answer all your questions, anon. I'm sorry, I have no work-life balance, and getting on Tumblr to answer asks has become a faraway dream for me. But this year, I'm going to try and have a better hold on life and dedicate more time to the things I enjoy.

Thank you so much for the ask! I enjoyed answering it. Now, good luck reading my mini Linzin thesis.

[may-fanfic]

After You’ve Gone pt 2

summary: Natasha is broken up, after her decision to cheat on you splits the two of you apart, unbeknownst to her, Wanda is there to comfort you 

warnings; cheating 

word count: 3,492

masterlist 

pt 1 

a/n: was honestly so conflicted on how i should end this story but i hope you guys enjoy 💕

((feel free to send in any request you may have)) 

taglist: @madamevirgo​

​

Natasha moved through the compound, ignoring her teammates' calls as she tugged her earphones over her ears to block out any more noise. When she made it to the training room, she was relieved to see that it was empty. Natasha honestly couldn't be bothered right now. All she wanted to do was beat the living shit out of the punching bag, anything to get you out of her head. It seemed to be a constant in her mind, the way things ended so terribly, all because of her. Even in her dreams, she sees it. She hadn't heard from you since despite how many times she tried to reach you.

She knew for your sake; she needed to leave you alone. You were going through it as much and, if not, more than her, but Natasha wanted you, no, she needed you back. Her life felt empty without you. Her days felt all mushed together into a jumble of nothingness. For the past couple of days, it's been hitting her hard. The reality of it finally settling in ultimately. For the first couple of weeks, she convinced herself that she'd be at the compound for training, but as time went on, it was apparent that this was the place she'd have to call home once again.

It was the week of your honeymoon; she was a wreck, spending most of her days cooped up in her room or training. She should've been with you having the time of your lives, but instead, she was bounded to her bed, her phone in hand as she prayed you'd call. You never did.

----- A soft knock sounded at your door, you let out a gentle whine. You didn't want to see anyone. You just wanted to sit here and hope that eventually, you'd feel better. All you could do was watch sad romantic movies and cry. It wasn't healthy, you knew that much, but you were healing.  You knew it'd take time before you felt like yourself again. You just wished you could fast forward to that.

Another much harder knock sounded, causing you to groan, forcing yourself up from your couch. When you pulled the door open, you were met with Wanda's kind features. She wore a smile, but it fell because of the frown and puffiness of your eyes. You were in worse condition than the last time she saw you. You hated that you were the cause of the pout that played on her lips, so you tried to force a smile. "hey, maxi!" you tried to sound cheerful, but your voice was hoarse from crying.

"Hey, babes." you were glad that she didn't question you. You just wanted to enjoy her presence without the reminder of Nat. you let out a gentle sigh when she tugged you into a tight hug, nuzzling your face into the nape of her neck. If you were honest, you were glad that Wanda was here. If she weren't, you'd probably be watching some sad movie, devouring another carton of ice cream.

After she settled into your home, she offered to make you some dinner, you accepted eagerly. You couldn't remember the last time you had a good homecooked meal. "um..." you began as you watched the woman stir at the pot. she looked over her shoulder at you briefly, taking in your features. She knew you well, so she expected the words to spill past your lips even before they did. "how's nat?" you questioned, leaning against your head.

Wanda hated that you were asking about her after everything, but she also couldn't help but swoon at how caring and thoughtful you always were; that was one thing she loved about you.

"she's-" she paused for a moment, shrugging casually as Wanda looked back down at the pot. "not good." she chose to be truthful, telling you carefully how Natasha is barely even seen around the compound. You frowned lightly. You hoped that she was doing even slightly better than you. "oh..." you frowned, observing as Wanda moved with ease as if she was made to become a chef. She was such a natural. You wondered if, in some other life, that's what she'd do.

"How are you, though, baby?" you hummed lightly, sipping at your water for a moment so when you talked, it didn't come out too scratchy. "I miss her," you confessed, causing wanda's heart to pound. She knew you were compelled to miss her, but she just wished you could forget about her entirely. Wanda spun away from the stovetop, wiping her hands on a rag before she moved over to you. "I know you do, but you deserve better." she frowned when you shrugged.

"what was that?" she questioned, waving her finger around you, causing you to look up at her shyly. "what?"

"that shrug!" you let your shoulders drop in defeat as the woman leaned over the kitchen island to reach out for your hand. There was no reason for wanda to be holding your hand right now, but she'd find any excuse to touch you.  "You don't think you deserve better, hun?" her voice was so soft, the gentleness of it could make you cry.

"I don't know if anyone is better than her," you confessed. Wanda's chest tightened; she could be better. How didn't you see that? It pained Wanda in all honesty, she spent most of your friendship trying her hardest to win you over, and all you ever saw was Natasha.

"You deserve someone who won't cheat on you before your wedding." Jealousy was laced in her harsh tone, which made you look up at her, but she looked down at your intertwined hands. Her manner was always so gentle and soft when she spoke to you, and now all you could feel was anger radiate from her. she squeezed your hand gently, her thumb caressing your knuckles which let you know that she wasn't upset at you for your foolish thoughts.

"I just want you to be happy," she admitted, her voice soft as her eyes fluttered up to meet yours. "Anyone who could hurt you like that isn't worthy of your love." she was right, wanda was always right, and as much as it pained you to admit even if you ended up back with Natasha, you knew you'd never love her the same.

-------

Natasha laid in silence, her eyes trained on the ceiling. She tried her hardest to think about anything else other than you. Anything would be better than the wicked thoughts that taunted her. She knew she deserved it. She was a horrible person that deserved to be tormented for her actions. Her eyes burned with tears as she thought about you; the simple thought of your smile made her stomach hurt because now all she could imagine was the fact that she'd never be the reason for it again.

You were truthfully the best person she'd ever met, and because of her stupid decision, you were out of her life for good.  She hated that she was too stupid to see how much she wanted to commit to you. Her chest burned; she wanted nothing more than to go back in time to change everything.

She knew she'd stay home with you and spend the night showering you with nothing but love; that's all she wanted to do right now. She wanted to rush into your home and tell you a billion times that she was sorry, but she knew deep down that it wouldn't be enough, and she was emotionally ready to be turned away. She just wanted to ask to start over with you; she'd hope you'd say yes. "Nat!" Clint's voice boomed before her door swung open; she sat up in her bed, wiping frantically at her watery eyes.

"Listen, Nat! You fucked up, okay? But you can't just lay here forever." his voice was harsh, and it made a knot form in her throat. His tough love always worked before, but as she met his eyes, her lips quivered; it was clear that it wouldn't work this time, so he let out a soft sigh.

"Natty, I know you love her-" he paused to move beside her on her bed, his hand finding a place on her shoulder. She let out a soft sob, her hand coming to fly over her mouth while the other rested against her chest. He reeled her into his chest, holding her close against him. She wasn't a terrible person, she made a mistake, and Natasha needed to own it.

"You hurt her, Natasha... but you're not horrible..." he whispered, caressing her arm as she cried. She felt horrible; she felt like a monster. Her body ached as she cried, gripping onto the man's shirt in agony. Everything was so perfect between you and Natasha; there was never a reason for her to do what she had done. She wished she just spoke to you; you could make all her worries melt away.

Clint hated seeing Natasha in so much pain, he pitted her, but he couldn't help but be mad at her. He set you two up after months of Natasha pining over you; why would she ever want to mess that up? He could see how insanely flawless the relationship was; he could never justify her actions even if he tried.

"I just want to talk to her." she cried out, causing the man to sigh; he was her friend before anyone else's, so with that thought, he pulled his phone if his pocket and dialed your number. It perked her curiosity as the phone rang, and when it connected, she could hear your soft voice echo through the phone; it eased her completely.

"hey, kid," he spoke softly, causing you to hum lightly, greeting the man. You knew why he called; you didn't have the strength to hang up; you wanted to hear her. "is Natasha there?" you asked softly, your eyes fluttered closed, your heart pounded as you waited for his response.

"yeah..." he answered after some time, his gaze snapping down to the girl with tearful eyes. "she wanted to talk to you," he whispered, causing you to rub gently at the bridge of your nose. You shouldn't, you really shouldn't, but you wanted to. It scared you how much you actually wanted to speak to her; you hardly went that long without her, and now it had been nearly a month of no contact. You missed her; it was a haste decision when you uttered out, "put her on."

Natasha loved Clint at the moment; with shaky hands, she took the phone, watching as he got up and left. "hey baby," she rasped out, her eyes already watering up. "have you been crying?" you asked softly, rubbing your sweaty hand over your sweatpants. She cleared her throat, leaning back onto her bed to try and ease her nerves.

"Are you okay?" you questioned when you got no response. Natasha expected you to yell at her, tell her that she had no right to be so sad when all this mess was her fault but instead, you were the same usual soft, compassionate person that she fell in love with.

"I just miss you." her voice shook as her eyes began to flow freely once again; if she closed her eyes, she could see you, your bright smile that always managed to make her heart race. "I miss you too." it gave her hope that she shouldn't have. she tightened her hand over the phone, holding it so close to her ear so she couldn't miss out on anything you had to say.

"I know why you did it, Nat... I was scared too,"  you stated, your eyes clouded with tears, and your throat burned. "but I loved you, Natasha, and I was just so ready to be with you forever." That hurt her; hearing your voice break physically pained her more than anything ever could.

"I wish I could take it back. I only want you." this was a moment of weakness, you knew that, but Natasha's voice was so genuine and soft.

"Natty, as much as I want to tell you to come over, I can't, baby." The usual pet name rolled over your tongue too quickly; you hardly caught it until it sounded into the phone. "I know," she whispered, tugging her blanket over her body to form some comfort. "I'm sorry."

"I forgive you."

------

"I spoke to her," you whispered to your friend as she lounged in your bed, helping you find an outfit for Tony's wedding. She sat up swiftly, her eyes trained on you. "why?" she tried her best to keep her emotions at bay, but it was hard as she gazed at you.

"Clint called." you shrugged, moving to the mirror to look over the tight dress you pulled on. You could still see wanda in the mirror, roll her eyes. Your eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"you aren't thinking about getting back with her, are you?" she questioned, her heart cracking when you shrugged. "I don't know, wanda, maybe." You ran a hand through your hair when she huffed out.

"That's the dumbest shit-"

"I thought you wanted me to be happy!" you suddenly turned, inching your way over to wanda, anger dripping from your words. Why couldn't she be a good friend and tell you that getting back with her isn't that terrible. she shot up from the bed, nearing you, causing your breathing to hitch as you looked up at her. "not with her." you huffed lightly, moving to turn away from her but she caught your wrist.

"Why do you care so much, wanda? It's my life!"

"Because I love you! I can't stand to see you get hurt again," she yelled out; she never raised her voice at you before, but tensions were so high, she couldn't control it. "I've watched you fall in love with her time after time. I can't do this anymore!" with that, the witch left you there, your breathing uneven. Your thoughts were scattered as you tried to understand it all; Wanda loved you.

How couldn't you see it before? Now that you thought about it, it was painfully obvious. The girl had been practically throwing herself at you for years; you always just figured it was friendly and innocent. You knew everything was different now, though.

You moved quickly through your home, eager to find the woman who just confessed her love for you. You managed to run down the stairs just in time for Wanda to be opening up your front door. "Wanda!" you sounded desperate as you called out for her. she let out a soft sigh, turning her head to glance over at you.

Wanda softened when she noticed the faint tears that clouded your eyes. "Don't go." you pleaded; her lips parted when you choked out a sob.

"Don't leave me, Wanda," you begged, and in an instant, she shut the door before making her way over to you with open arms. You cried out when she embraced you tightly, pressing a gentle kiss to your hairline. You wrapped your arms around her shoulders, nuzzling your face into her neck.

Wanda knew this would take some work, but she was willing to try if you were.

----- When Natasha first saw you, she was starstruck. Natasha felt the same way she did the first night she met you, like a high schooler with a crush, but then she noticed how your fingers laced with Wanda's. It was a couple of months since the breakup, she still felt broken up about it, but you looked like you were happy. The way you grinned when you embraced Pepper and congratulated her made Natasha's heart pound.

It should've been the two of you who were celebrating your marriage but instead, she was staring at you from across the bar, not daring to make a move to talk to you. She didn't want to ruin your night. She'd do anything to ensure that smile stayed on your lips. You were all that Natasha wanted; she was sure you'd be the one she let getaway.

When the music slowed, you didn't hesitate to urge Wanda to dance with you, and she agreed quickly. Her hands rested gently across your waist as she stared down at you with pure adoration. "You know..." you started, your hand coming up to rest gently against her cheek. She leaned into your palm, beaming at you.

"I want this if you can give me the time." wanda leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to your forehead; wanda could wait forever just an ounce of your love. She has waited this long; if you needed time to heal, she could give you that.  

"Take your time, baby." her voice came out so soft, and you couldn't help the smile that formed on your lips. You wanted to thank her, but you knew words wouldn't be enough; wanda had been there whenever you needed her; you felt like there was only one way you could really repay her, so you leaned forward and caught her lips in a gentle kiss. It was quick, but it proved that you were serious.

Honestly, you always had a slight crush on Wanda way before Natasha; you swept it under the rug when you met the spy, but now as you stared up at her, your heart swooned. It scared you, but you knew better than to imagine Wanda ever hurting you.

"Don't hurt me," you whispered out, leaning your head against her shoulder; she let out a gentle sigh. She knew you'd have so many underline trust issues because of Natasha, but Wanda could never imagine herself ever doing something like that. You were so sweet and precious; all Wanda wanted to do was protect and care for you.

"Never," she promised, her arms growing tight around you, as much as it frightened you, you trusted her.

------

As much as you wanted to pretend that Natasha didn't exist that night, you knew you couldn't do that. The only way you could do that was if you had closure. With a shaky breath, you followed the woman out to the balcony, noticing the way she hugged herself for warmth. "Hey," you called out, your voice wary when she turned.

She knew she lost you when you looked at her with a gentle smile, you extending your hand offering the drink you had brought for her, she took it, thanking you lightly. "so wanda?" she questioned softly, you couldn't help the smile that formed on your lips at the thought of the girl.

"yeah..." you uttered out, wrapping your arms around yourself when the breeze blew. "I always had that feeling," Natasha confessed, offering you a tiny, almost knowing smile. You wondered if that's why she grew so hesitant.

"what do you mean?" you raised your eyebrow, looking out into the view. It was calming to be so high up, looking over the city. "You never looked at me the way you did her." she shrugged; her eyes lingered on you as you stood next to her. "I did love you," you whispered, snapping your gaze over to her; she nodded. "I love you," she expressed, her smile turning sad. "but I'm happy for you." you sigh, leaping forward to embrace the woman.

She needed that; she honestly did. She felt eased as she held onto you, not quite ready to let you go, and she was glad that you hadn't moved. "we'll be okay." Natasha muttered, causing you to nod, nuzzling your face into her neck. You knew that you and Natasha could be friends; everything would work out the way it supposed to, and that thought left you content.

"you ready to go, baby?" her voice boomed, causing you to break apart from the hug, looking over at the woman in the doorway who held her jacket open for you. You smiled lightly, moving away from Natasha to greet Wanda, slipping yourself into the coat when she held it up for you.

"I'll see you later, Nat." she nodded, looking over at the both of you as wanda's hand slipped into your own. "See you." she smiled weakly at you, and then you turned with wanda and left her there. As much as her body ached, she was glad you were okay. She understood that she fucked it up; she'd have to live with that for the rest of her life.

If she was honest, she still felt a thread of hope, even if it was absurd to think. Crazier things have happened in her life; maybe she was just in denial, or perhaps she was right. After all, you always ended up back with her.

[satelliteaccident]

yikes, m8: the century that was 2021

if i had to pick one word to describe my 2021, it'd have to be "disorienting". what a fucking paddling that was, and not in the "aw yiss" kind of way.

let's see... what the blistering hell-potato happened here?

january: i was working full-time, and applied for j-school, and saw an immigration lawyer, and tried to get my employer to sponsor me because the state sponsorships were fucked because pandemic. i wanna say we were still working from home at this point? yeah, we were, because i was home when after 18 months of pissfarting around, bosspeeps were finally like "hmm yeah nah we're happy with you but sponsorship sounds Too Hard, we're cool tho rite?" insert renewed suicidal ideation here. *exhausted pompoms* Kiddo started last year of primary school! holy shit!! lupin started Job 2.0: The Same Job, But With Even More Awesome/Hours (they're a gardener/librarian at a primary school and honestly who could be cooler than that?? not me).

february: i think we were working from the office again? i wrapped up at Workplace two weeks before starting at Uni. offered to do casual work for them but they weren't into it. ah well. had Kerfuffle getting uni documentation squared away but we got there. Kiddo and mr six went fishing. it was super cute. we still have a whole-ass dead snapper in the freezer from that?? LESS CUTE.

march: Uni started and proved both FUCKING HIGH INTENSITY JFC and also really cool. Workplace was like "uh so we know you offered to do casual work after you left and we weren't into that buuuuut it turns out we kind of don't actually have enough people, how do you feel about casual work". i'm a broke-ass immigrant, how the fuck you think i feel?! great! i feel great! sign me up!! i think maybe we had more lockdown? honestly hard to keep track at this point. [eta nope that was feb we had lockdown. sigh.]

april: we went on holiday to Relatively Nearby Holiday Destination. we stayed in a cool airbnb. i did a lot of homework while we were there because j-school is bananahammers. lupin and i went to a farm and hung out with animals, most of whom were chill and some of whom were stupid cute.

may: school?? idek

june: like may but colder so the cats were cuddlier. more lockdown. got the first appointment i could to go back on ritalin -- late november. YEAAAHHHHH

july: i got nothing

augtember: l o c k d o w n, walks at Nearby Park and duck watching with Kiddo, lots and lots of remote learning for me and Kiddo, remote work for mr six, lots of hangouts with our lil triad + our platonic bff. got into DE and DE tumblrness around then i think? definitely the year's most dopamine-rich, creatively and interpersonally rewarding highlight. thanks team. <3

november: got back on ritalin. did the best job i have ever done on lupin's hair, omg, what a goddamn Peak Moment. also the sum total of years-long pandemic and immigration fuckeries finally pushed me all the way to "ABSOLUTELY FUCK THIS, I AM NOT WAITING FOR A 'BETTER TIME' ANY MORE" re: gender stuff; in a rare stroke of unmitigated win, a clinic literally up the street re-opened its wait list after nearly a year, AND i got an appointment the next week.

december: Kiddo finished primary school whoaaaaaa. applied for a third masters program aha aha ahahahahakillme. started job searching. have some work lined up for early next year but no sponsorship yet. set up consult for top surgery! started on T! holy shit!

so... yeah. A Lot. grateful my family is safe and healthy; grateful for partners who are joys even in lockdown; grateful Kiddo is on track to go to secondary school (she has Issues and it's awesome to see her making choices and getting supports that let her thrive); grateful for friends and DE times; grateful to have created stuff for school and for funsies. absolutely fucken shattered to be facing "go back to school AGAIN or be forced to leave the country and your partners and child" on a march deadline. it's not great. the dream would be for the state or an employer to go "ooh hang on we wanna sponsor you" in the meantime, buuuuuut it hasn't happened so far, so. add in the dizzy joy of finally getting gender-affirming care after 20 years of trying to just Get By and it's. yeah. disorienting.

but not bad. i'm gonna grab the good with both hands and pull myself through to the next thing, and the next, and i'm gonna figure it out as i go, dammit. thanks for coming this far with me, and hopefully, there will be better things to say about 2022.

[bibiana112]

im a bit late but Akane for the character asks? :0

Thank yooou, she is such a character ever oh my gosh

favorite thing about them: There's SO much to her, god I love the nuance I love the kind of character that she is of like a smartass weird girl seer archetype with a sprinkle of girlboss my absolute beloved LMAO On a serious note her whole vibe in 999 (once you know what's really happening at least) just hits me, she's going through so much just to be able to live, and like it takes strength to stand up for your younger self like that and see so clearly that it wasn't a personal failing that landed you on that situation, like she could easily think she was the dumb one to go back for the doll (and people certainly make that point often) and let that weight so much on her conscience that she'd be too paralyzed to even create the possibility for herself to survive, but she didn't, because that's simply not the kind of person that she is, and I think that's cool

least favorite thing about them: Her issue is that she's that person who thinks they're the main character in life except, like, she's right about it and she knows that too akjsksjs The hypocritical moral self-righteousness that she displays after 999 kind of irks me despite being a cool ass character direction, but I honestly wouldn't have her any other way

favorite line: "Now, who am [I]? I am [I], the 9th letter of the alphabet. But I am also [Zero]. ...No, that's not true. I'm not really Zero. Not yet. Perhaps you could say I am...[less than Zero]. Zero is my future. In 9 years... I will be [Zero]." Tough pick but this one just makes my brain go brr with every turn of phrase

brOTP: Aside from her literal brother, I like to imagine her getting along with Light decently well I wish they had a talk I wonder how many paragraphs long it'd be lmao and... that's about it she doesn't make many friends going forward aksjaks Aside from Carlos like a little bit I guess?

OTP: Junepeeei, they're so messyyy I love it kahsks there's so much devotion while at the same time so much distance between them like, it's just refreshing to have so many layers of both healthy and unhealthy patterns to their affections for each other instead of a clean straightforward romance, it's a lot to analyze and pick apart and boi if that's not what I love doing with stories lol

nOTP: Aside from the obvious, uh her and Sigma I guess? I hardly see anything for it but I just don't like him to begin with lol

random headcanon: non-binary beam go brr, like, she/her pronouns but she's really whatever when it comes to gender, helps that people unknowingly refer to her with he/him pronouns throughout both 999 and VLR and sure it's because she's playing a part but I think it's fun that she really just doesn't mind at all. Only way of expressing herself were elaborate ruses during death games instead of theater or cosplay or whatever helps people play around with gender, okay? It happens lmao

unpopular opinion: I imagine everything she does after the 999 isn't coming from a place of selflessness as much as it's coming from a sense of needing to be as in the know and in control of a bad situation as possible, even if it's like the literal apocalypse, but she's doing it mainly to feel like a good person and martyr even if she herself wouldn't admit it God I wouldn't be so hard on her if ztd wasn't so bad and retroactively made so much of vlr's plot into absolute nonsense

song i associate with them: Oh BOY! My most Akane core bops would be Wicked (which I already impulsively made a gif of her in the style of the mv lol) I love the funerary vibe and the story being told and I love the "This is the part where the real work starts" so much in this context. I'd Rather Burn is another one aside from obvious reasons, it has bits that are like you go girl! Get your vengeance lmao And finally the last one I have is Temporal Shenanigans do not mind where this one is technically from just listen to it and see how all around perfect it is for Akane because I have no words it just works insanely well

favorite picture of them: Tie between every picture of baby her that isn't sad and that one promo art where she's looking over at Junpei and Aoi nearly throwing hands and probably thinking oh no my idiots are fighting. But anyway *Arrives fashionably late to own death game*

[aros001]

Going in blind: Watching season 2 for the first time. Random thoughts.

Huh. Only 7 episodes. Not complaining necessarily. For series with an ongoing plot I've definitely become more in favor with their seasons only having as many episodes as they need rather than them having to stretch themselves out to full up a certain number of episodes, which can lead to padding and just bad character moments.

Episode 1: Jeez. Catra visiting Shadow Weaver's cell just to rub her success in her face and verbally abuse her back for once. It's like a twisted version of Zuko and Ozai from ATLA. Catra's upbringing under her was abusive but this is far from a healthy way for her to deal with it. She's basically deliberately swimming in her resentment.

Episode 2: It's not that I'm rooting for her but by-golly was it fun to watch Catra act like just the absolute worst she could while she was Glimmer and Bow's captive.

I touched on this in season 1 but part of the drama of the heroes feeling guilt over leaving Entrapta behind is kind of lost on me a bit simply because it was her own fault it happened. She deliberately went back into the purge room because of her machine obsession, which then closed on her and erupted in flames. It was more than reasonable to assume she was dead and no one but her was to blame, so I'm not really able to be invested in their guilt over it.

That said, weirdly enough I do like that her "abandonment" doesn't seem to be even a blip on the radar for Entrapta herself. She hasn't joined the horde because she resents the heroes or felt left behind, she simply is so obsessed with machines and experimentation that she'll be on the side of whoever lets her do the most of that. Like, it's selfish and irresponsible but it's very in-character and I'd far rather have a traitor motivation be based in that over something stupid like a misunderstanding.

Episode 3: I love the mental image of Shadow Weaver thinking up princess-themed ghost stories to tell Adora as a child.

So, if the previous She-Ra Mara separated Eternia from the other realms/planets/whatever she did and that's what cut off the She-Ra line for 1000 years, I'm guessing Hordak may be from the time before that happened, thus his drive to create portals and calling Eternia a backwards world. Either he's naturally long-lived or his technology is extending his life.

Episode 4: You know, you could maybe argue it was vague enough that it could be taken other ways but I'm definitely getting some vibes here that Scorpia is crushing on Catra. She literally refers to the two of them as soulmates at one point. I know she says she's trying to be friends but this feels a level beyond that.

Fun little reference to the original She-Ra cartoon thrown in there (and maybe Cowboy Bebop...? James Bond...? What was Glimmer's art style supposed to be?). I like how it is more like just playful ribbing than anything outright dumping on the original. Again, I've never seen original She-Ra but whenever remakes/adaptations go out of their way to trash to the original I always kind of wonder why they bothered doing an adaptation if the original is just that bad? Also, I was having trouble sleeping so it was about 2am when I watched this episode and the very Eartha Kitt Catwoman Catra made it very difficult for me not to lose my **** and stay quiet. With how much of a contrast that version is from the one in this series, that was hilarious. Bonus note, it's a nice touch that Frosta's version of Catra is a pretty crasher in that sweet suit, since that's the only impression of Catra she's ever had.

Adora being a chosen one is definitely elevated up simply by how much the pressure of what she's supposed to be is getting to her. I'm likely going to keep making Avatar The Last Airbender comparisons throughout the series but that's partly because I went into this series figuring it'd be at least structured similar to ATLA (season 1 being more episodic and a little more kid-friendly as it builds up the world before getting more serious later). Adora and Aang are interesting to compare here. Aang's worries early on were less apparent because he was more in-denial/choosing not to think about his problems that much, which fit with his character as a free-spirited Air Nomad. While Adora is much more military-minded. She can't keep herself from thinking about her problems and trying to prepare for the worst-case scenario. And jeez, that idea of who/how Catra is in her mind. Not only beating her but making her watch as she takes everything she cares about away. Not Shadow Weaver, not Lord Hordak, but Catra. That whole Lion King Mufasa/Scar moment between them in episode 11 and their fight in the S1 finale really did a number on her mental image of her old friend. Not reasonably so.

Minor note: I'm sure I'm the only one who got this impression but by the look of it, the way the robot's eye moved, and the music, after getting the soda spilled on it that little spybot gained sentience for half a second and then immediately died. It was so darkly comedic I had to laugh.

Episode 5: So that red disc is basically She-Ra's Red Kryptonite, having an effect on the mind rather than the body. The drunk Adora joke doesn't really do it for me but it did get some nice interactions going between Scorpia and Sea Hawk, two characters I certainly wasn't expecting to bond. I did really like Catra's panic when berserker She-Ra nearly beheads her. The implication is that is Adora really wanted to kill her Catra would already probably be dead. It's a thing I like about powerhouse characters like Superman or Aang, who could just demolish everything around them and don't simply because they're a good person...which in turn makes them the scariest person on the planet when they're well and truly ticked off. I'm not going to lie, I do kind of want to see a She-Ra version of Aang when Appa was stolen or when Superman fought The Elite.

Also, Catra's line of "I have control over Adora. I'm not giving that up for anything.". There's a lot to read into there.

Episode 6: I guess my prediction was sort of right. Shadow Weaver became basically a magic parasite and while it did increase the power she's capable of the implication seems to be that she needs a constant fix of magic to keep herself going, thus her attachment to the Black Garnet.

Have we seen Micah before? Given how long ago the flashback seems set, the fact that Shadow Weaver didn't kill him and thus he probably becomes someone important later in life, I'm guessing he's Glimmer's dad and the queen's late husband, since I think he's the only important male character whose face we haven't seen yet. Also, he's voice by Ezra from Star Wars Rebels and that cracks me up for some reason. It's the exact same voice and a relatively similar character.

I compared Catra and Shadow Weaver with a kind of twisted version of Zuko and Ozai and that definitely still fits here. Both Catra and Zuko confront their parent and call them out for the inexcusable abuse they put them through but while that moment was the start of Zuko's upwards journey this and SW's betrayal seems like it's going to cause Catra to spiral even further. Makes sense why Adora leaving affected her so much. She's probably the only one Catra's ever had that she could consistently trust and rely on, even if she did somewhat resent her.

Not surprised Hordak is getting along with Entrapta. She's not socially aware enough to be scared or intimidated by him, so she'll speak frankly, and since all she wants to talk about is the machines, experiments, and how they could get them to work Hordak probably doesn't take much issue with that. She's producing results, which is what he cares about, thus also why Shadow Weaver and Catra started losing favor with him. I wonder if Catra is going through imposter syndrome? Shadow Weaver had that line that Entrapta earned her place next to Hordak and, if you think about it, Catra hasn't really "earned" anything. We saw that she didn't really take her training or studies that seriously, showing up late to combat practice and even getting partial credit for what Adora beat. She wasn't promoted to Force Captain because of her own abilities but because Adora had defected when she was supposed to get that title. She's come close to a few victories but never really had any except for Glimmer and Bow's kidnapping...whom she then basically let escape when she returned Adora's sword to her. She doesn't have the slightest clue how the horde's bureaucracy works when trying to get things done, like simply getting troops armor. Given how much better than her Adora always was and how little she herself has to her name, I wonder is subconsciously Catra believes she doesn't deserve her current position and thus why she's fretting so much over trying to prove herself.

Episode 7: Am I mistaken or did Bow's parents say that he's the youngest of TWELVE siblings? I was going to ask whether Bow was adopted or if his dad's used a surrogate or if maybe there's even just simply magic in She-Ra's world that allows two people of the same sex to have a child together but now I'm just focused on the 12 kids thing. I get nervous just imagining myself having more than one. You should see me when I'm with two cats. I have to pet both of them because I'd feel like I'd be making one feel left out and like the other is the favorite. I'm a mess with kids.

The dad with dreadlocks (Lance?), his design looked familiar to me and I finally realized it reminded me a of a fanart design for a human Grim from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy. Very different voices between those two characters though.

I wonder if there's any significance to the robot protecting the crystal having the same design as those in the artic in episode 5? Obviously both have the connection to the First Ones but the robot in the forest who was also protecting First Ones' tech had a more insect-like design over these more worm/Graboid ones.

I'm kind of curious what Hordak would have done if Catra had told the truth. Given his interactions with her and Shadow Weaver he doesn't seem like the time to tolerate failure but I suppose the implication here is that he at least would respect those who own up to their failures. Or I suppose more simply he was just testing to see if she would lie to him and since she did there's little merit in keeping her in a position of authority anymore where she could lie about important things again.

Season 2 verdict: Still enjoying it. Another person on this reddit recommended I view seasons 2 and 3 as one since they are basically just one season split in two. I was going to do that but this ended up longer than I thought I would, so I'll just do 2 and 3 separate to keep them semi-organized and easier to read.

I think overall Catra is my favorite character since she has the most interesting backstory, interactions, and just general path through the story out of everyone. She's like Pearl from Steven Universe or, well, Zuko. There's just so much baggage there that she's trying and kind of failing to deal with. I'm always invested in whatever's happening when she's onscreen. Hordak so far is a good big boss villain for Adora to face but Catra is a good archenemy for her.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/PrincessesOfPower/comments/o027y3/going_in_blind_watching_season_2_for_the_first/

[purplesurveys]

1927

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself? On the way home around lunch time earlier. I think I was singing to For Us, by V.

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? How many people I've left a touching/helpful impact on, and what it is I did at that moment. I'd like to feel selfishly good for once.

It'd be that, or asking for the day I'd die and what would cause it, lol.

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life? Well, choosing to remain alive has to be up there.

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise? When I put up a tent at the rooftop for me and my friends to watch 2021 Muster. It was my first BTS Anything™ as a fan wherein I really knew what was happening (as opposed to when they did 2021 Bangbangcon and I had no clue what was going on, I was just happy to be there LOL) so I prepared lots for it. I had a tent, snacks, a huge dinner, fairy lights...every time I want to think of happy memories, it's always the first image to come up.

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? I'd resign from my job and spend the rest of the year with the pets and take myself to eat out everywhere I've ever wanted to eat at.

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things? Go to Wrestlemania, see BTS, own a Mini.

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail. She's got long, straight hair; has a beauty mark on her face; an inch or two taller than me. She's always been smart in math and science and ranked consistently high in our batch, something she's carried over to the present day as she took up architecture and got her license this year. She has an infinite load of patience, has impeccable style, and makes everyone feel like family around her.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood? No, I didn't. I know everybody tried their best, but I didn't have the best childhood.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person? Last Thursday when I openly teared up with Dev in the room. She's the only one I can cry in the presence of at work because she's the only one in the same position.

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them. Maybe my dad? We haven't done anything like that together ever, and I feel like such a moment would give rise to many meaningful conversations. Maybe I'll get to learn more stuff about him I never knew before.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them? I feel like I could but it would depend on their personality. If we're on the same wavelength, humor- and thought process-wise, AND if I knew I'd never see them again, I might just open up. I'll be picky about who to overshare with, that's for sure.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you? I never stay up that late with anyone lol. If I reach 3 AM awake, 100000000% I'd prefer to be alone by that point.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom? "I'm sorry we couldn't spend more time together, but I am happy with all the moments we had and even happier that you were healthy throughout all of it." To my dad.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes? I...just don't have any opinions on eye color altogether, haha.

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally. "Life's a soup and I'm a fork." People won't always like you and you won't fit in everywhere. Get over it and just live your own definition of what it means to be happy.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far? No idea. If I wrote an autobiography, I'd probably leave the title as the last task because I feel like it'd depend on the content of the book.

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars? Buy a penthouse in BGC - literally all I need. Then I'd give a little less than half to my parents, a little less than half to animal shelters all over the country; then whatever's left can be just to sustain me until I die. 50 billion pesos is very impossible to imagine.

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way? No. I am more at peace like this, yes.

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self. Eh sorry, this sounds like so much work to do right now lol.

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel? More pastel these days.

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain. They're fine as long as the tattoos aren't offensive. Piercings I don't have much of an opinion on.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not? I wear it for a practical purpose, i.e. I only put on what helps my face look cleaner (bb cream, foundation, blush). I don't use makeup to like self-express or exercise my creativity/imagination or whatever.

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. BTS came in clutch and saved my life at one of the last possible moments they could have. It's a big reason why I'll always feel a strong sense of staying loyal to them and fighting for them no matter what – they helped me want to start fighting for my own life.

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

Paramore (2013, 2018): They're my favorite band and have seen them twice. Both concerts were a blast, although I enjoyed the second gig more because I was literally at the front row. It was the first concert for which I made the active decision not to pull out my phone, and to this day I don't regret the decision because what I have in exchange are very vivid memories of the show.

One Direction (2015): I was equal parts happy (by the fact alone that they were 1D) and bummed (because Zayn wasn't at the show; and a few days after, they announced he was leaving...), but this was a fun, very surreal experience. I still can't believe I can get to say I saw One Direction considering how short their stint turned out to be. This show was on concert grounds so the only thing that sucked about the whole thing was that how no one saw anything if you didn't have a VIP ticket – but my parents got the tix for me and my sister so I never complained about it.

Coldplay (2017): I wasn't a legitimate concertgoer because I watched from the top floor of a parking lot well outside of the concert grounds lmao, but it actually gave me a fantastic view of the show and the boys so no regrets. I went with my ex so this has some bitter associations, but I still love Coldplay and I don't regret going because I really really like a lot of their songs and seeing the attendees' bracelets (or was it lightsticks? idk) have coordinated lighting for all the songs was such a comforting sight.

Agust D (2023): Where do I even start? This is literally seeing BTS in the flesh; I could never complain. Ticket-selling was a bloodbath and my friends weren't even initially successful. Apart from Angela's lucky hand that got her ONE ticket, we had to essentially look everywhere and speak to anyone to get the three other tickets we needed. It was by an extreme stroke of luck that ALL my friends and I got to go.

Concert itself was great; Yoongi's condition hadn't been at its peak at the time and his voice had been raspy/struggling for like 40% of the setlist but he fought through it like a champ. Bangkok crowd sucked ass and I got confirmation that I wasn't just being a condescending older fan when he himself lightly called our crowd out during his post-concert live and asked the future audiences to be more noisy.

Se So Neon (2023): This was such a pleasant surprise! I never in my wildddest dreams expected them to have a stop here, so when I saw the announcement there was no hesitation to get a ticket. This was my first non-mainstream concert, and the show was held at a tent that could house only 1000 so I was super excited to see what the vibes were gonna be. The band knocked it out of the park that night – Hyunjin was oozing charisma, Soyoon's voice smooth as glass.

If anything, I only felt bad because I don't memorize their Korean lyrics and could only silently watch them while bobbing my head and occasionally swinging my arms to at least let them know I was having a blast. The rest of the crowd wasn't good with the lyrics too so it felt a bit too quiet at times.

Seventeen (2024): My first PH Sports Stadium concert! Baptism by fire. Holy shit. As if I didn't feel like enough of a sacrificial lamb just yet, our seat was also JUST TO THE RIGHT of the EXTREMELY HIGH control booth so we literally could not see the entire left side of stage for the whole show. The only thing missing was steam coming out of my ears from how piss the infrastructure for this show was. But the show itself was a lot of fun and the boys' energy was off the goddamn charts – they could really keep a crowd engaged!!! They also had their moving trolley thingy come up to our section so I got to wave and have a good look at each of them :) Next time though I'll aim for a different ticket if I can make it happen, because the view really was disappointing and felt a bit like a waste of money.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say? I'm good, thanks.

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised? It doesn't have much of a personality to it, really. It just has a pen/knickknacks holder my sister got me; the rest of the space is for my laptop.

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine? Brush my teeth, wash my face, put on a face mask, then browse through either Reddit or YouTube until I feel tired.

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know? How often I've tried to beepbeepbeep, which was just happening in my room.

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why? Dark green. I haven't done it yet.

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

A new job offer: So I can resign.

A better economy/job environment: So my dad doesn't have to work overseas to begin with and I can experience having a complete family all year long.

Longer lifespan for dogs: So I can have more time with all of ours, including Kimi.

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high? Trying a cannabis vape while already drunk.

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars? Eat someone's puke.

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why? I'd go with the person. It still offers more variety than the one song.

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love. Yeah. It's scary for the most part but very relieving if you find out the other person feels the same. Like hitting the jackpot.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair? I'd pass on the short hair.

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone? Brown sugar soy milk iced shaken espresso. Angela would know this; I get this all the time, whether we're together or not.

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now? My mental health and the road to my resignation.

[olivieblake]

Sorry I haven't detailed my Friendship breakup ask earlier, managing life is taking too much time these days!

It's a bit hard to summarise but I have been soulmate-type friends with this girl, K, for three and a half years and really good friend with this guy, R, for two and a half. We all work together and our triangle friendship worked well. K and R fooled around a few times after parties, K developed feelings, R didn't and thought it was a friends with benefits thing while K hoped it would become more but it never did. Big problem was the lack of communication between them, both thought the other knew what they wanted but we know that things don't work this way.

I've been there for all of it, particularly for K who had been hurt by the lack of emotional intelligence R indeed displayed along the way. But I also felt, and I think R knew it herself, that she had been getting her hopes up almost all along and was setting herself for heartbreak, but life needs to be lived and sometimes we make mistakes just so that we can learn from them and K and I talked a lot about that, as I was myself getting entangled with another colleague.

Fast forward to last November, where, after months of horrible things piling up 2020 style, R and I spent an evening together watching movies, eating pizzas, drinking English cider and talking about how fucking sad we all were and fuck 2020 and family members dying of cancer way too fast, both in his and my family, and work being hell because the government is doing shit for making schools safe and everything going wrong all the time. At some point during the night there was a moment when I felt that R was offering more than just sleeping together in the same bed and I had a moment of hesitation but decided to not give in to it and to the the confort it might bring us both, mainly because I was sure it would hurt K if she ever heard about it. So we just slept, read books in the morning while drinking tea and there was no awkwardness because we both knew that it came from the fact that we trust each other enough to ask for comfort and even if it would have been a possibly stupid way to get it, it might have made us feel better in the moment. (even though we both think we'd have burst into tears 30 seconds in and not done it in the end)

I wondered whether I should tell K or not and decided to do it because nothing had happened, really, and if I didn't tell her when we told each other most things, that's when it'd have become suspicious and dishonest. So I told her that there had been a weird moment between R and I, that nothing had happened in the end, not in the best way in retrospect because it felt too casual to her, confirmed that had it happened it would have been weird for her and thought that was that since the next few days went fine. But at the end of that week she sent me an audio, saying that if I had feelings for R, I had a lot of time to tell her, that she needed people she could trust and who respected her in her life and that we weren't friends anymore. And that was it. Since then, she has refused to have a conversation to clear things up and has avoided me several weeks but has kept talking to R as usual.

I should have told her in a different way and I understand why she felt hurt imagining that R and I had spent a night of passion together but I told her, and then explained more clearly, that nothing had actually happened, that I wasn't into R and he wasn't into me, we were just both very sad and a bit too drunk.

The thing is, he's not hers, they haven't been in a relationship, he's not her ex either. Even if we had slept together, it wouldn't have had anything to do with her; people don't belong to people. But what's really hard is that we've been really good friends for several years and she was so quick to assume I would be cruel to her on purpose and that her feelings didn't matter to me when we've been there for each other a lot. And that putting an end to our friendship via WhatsApp was apparently so easy to do. (I don't really think it was, but it sure feels like it.)

And I've been asking other friends' opinions to see how in the wrong I was really, since maybe I couldn't see the situation clearly enough from my position, and the general consensus is that since I didn't do anything with him and was honest with her right after the nothing happened, she's being a bit extreme when the only actual thing she could reasonably resent me for is the way I told her. We're adults, we should be able to at least talk about it but I've offered several times and she says she doesn't need to or want to. But we're in the same friend group, we're supposed to spend time all together at some point and us not talking has an effect on the whole group dynamics, not just on us, and my awful need to make sure everything is balanced for everyone is going crazy.

It's been a long few months and my already sad and stressed out brain is having a hard time dealing with it and I hate that we're in this situation for something as futile as boy problems. I think there are issues of jealousy and self-confidence that stem from something else and that she's projecting it all onto this but it still sucks a lot, especially since she's refusing to talk about anything, even if we're at least back to saying hello and she has stopped fleeing every room I am in.

Anyways, friendship breakups suck, they can be as stupid as romantic breakups, and 2021 has better be nicer too everyone than 2020! Sorry for the novel-lenghth ask/story, my life is a succession of ridiculous plot points.

I hope you and Baby and Mr. Blake are doing well in these weird, weird times and I've started your book and I have loved your last video, especially the part on jealousy/possesiveness which was really well-put, as usual! Oh and thank you so, so much for your book recs on my last ask, I've added them to my To read-list <3

Okay, Love you, bye!

I feel like my last ask was a little bit too detailed to give a general answer/launch a large topic so I'm guessing it's mainly about how to deal with a lack of closure when people end things without the possibility to talk and get/give explanations. And I guess it goes for romantic relationships as well as friendships.

Love your big sistering, love you !

WELL I actually did not get this ask until a few hours after I had filmed this week’s video so not to worry lol I wasn’t able to address this specifically. but I think that’s the thing about the generality of grief over losing a friend—we don’t necessarily have to know the specifics of your story to understand it’s something we probably all relate to. and in this case I most certainly relate! I think this is one of those things where your friend had some personal things to work on and it put you in a difficult position, wherein you made the most logical choice. that’s the problem: you are looking logically at what is for her an emotionally fraught situation about her self-worth and your loyalty, which is why the math on your end isn’t adding up. (for the record I am much more likely to be in your position than hers; she sounds like a water sign but WHO’S TO SAy)

anyway, I don’t think you’re in this position over boy problems. a boy appears to be the subject yes but in fact he is the object; the subject is your friend’s feelings about herself and your—forgive me, but your compulsion to force her to get over it. I may not be completely right about that, but it does appear to me that you could have said nothing about the “nothing” that happened but chose not to because, ultimately, part of you wanted her to know. I don’t think this is sinister of you; I have a lot of friends who really need to just get over it as a general rule and sometimes it does feel like shocking them into it with new information might do the trick. but I think most likely she feels or intuits that in some way, and I suspect the root of her anger isn’t really about him but the “betrayal” she feels from you: that in that moment, you weren’t thinking about her* despite the fact that you would probably have known she would hurt if you had been (I’m sure you did know this to be true, and in my opinion are rationalizing your part in it; which is fine because you’re the main character in your life and not hers, but it is what it is) and of course she’s thinking about her, so what seems like a lot of pain on her end that she has no healthy method of dealing with is straining your relationship. I hope she can bring herself to deal with it, but she has a lot of work to do on herself before she can reach the pinnacle of what’s really bothering her. until then, it’s easier to blame you.

* edited to add: I know you said that you decided not to move forward sexually because of her, but I think what actually hurts her is not the possibility of sex, but the intimacy you had with him in that moment, which even you know is something she craved; perhaps delusionally. you don’t have to acknowledge whether this is a reasonable thing to be upset by, but I think the entirety of the situation is probably hitting her much differently than it hits you.

anyway my answer was not about this situation specifically but about why friendship breakups hurt so much, and I don’t think knowing the situation changes my answer. I hope it does help, because I think there is some part of this that is always true: one person needs to do something on their own before the friendship can be repaired, and it may not have been a problem at all if not for an issue of very specific timing. but trust me, whether this specific thing had happened or not this would still be true about the two of you, and about the ways your personal dogmas differ, and perhaps it’s better to see if she can take this leap now. maybe she will grow from it; maybe she won’t. either way, this is the part-grief, part-guilt formula I’m talking about, where sometimes you have to admit the breaking point happened, whether it could have gone differently or not, and now it’s out of your control

but I hope it helps to talk about!

[ma-gic-gay]

A few hours, two kisses, and one nap later, he begins plotting his escape. It mainly consists of signing a discharge form and then hunting down Cyrus. Then, he'll kill him. Fairly simple, and does provide a good distraction from the chaos his personal life has become. His business/mob life has been fairly normal, no new competitors yet.

"What are you planning?" Carly asks, looking up from the iPad she's probably planning Morgan's return from the dead party on.

"How long until I can get out of here?" Hospital rooms inspire him to run very far away from them. They keep him cooped up, they're boring as all hell, and there's really no choice as to who can walk in at any given time.

"Probably tomorrow," she answers and he groans. "It's not the end of the world, Jason. It's one more night in a hospital bed." Debatable. It's a whole twelve hours, minimum.

"Or I could just sign my discharge form now and break out of here."

"No, you need to stay at least for tonight. Break out tomorrow."

"I don't want to."

"Just let them monitor you. Sleep. You won't be able to do much out there anyways. I'm pretty sure the doctors are going to tell you to relax and take it easy, which means taking a short leave of absence. Brando can handle it for a few more days."

"There could be a takeover-"

"Not without any talk. Come on, if I thought there was any threat, I'd be breaking you out of here myself," she reminds him. "Take a nap."

"I'm not sure that's the best decision." Actually, it's more time that he'd be a suspect in Cyrus's murder (that, rest assured, he will commit) and more time Cyrus gets to breathe the same air as him. "Stop the thoughts about it being unsafe because you're not going to be able to do anything. You're recovering from surgeries and a gunshot wound."

"I'm perfectly capable of doing everything," he responds, fidgeting again with the stupid IV. He'll break that thing out of him if that's what it takes.

"I'm sure you are, but stop pouting. Sleep. Take a nap. Enjoy your break from reality for a day or two and just relax," Carly reasons. You know it's bad when Carly's being the reasonable one.

"This isn't pouting, it's captivity."

"No one's holding you captive."

"I'm being forced to be in a room against my will. This could be a hostage situation," he says dramatically.

"Well, as cute as your pouting is, you're spending the night. Take a nap. Enjoy it," she smiles. "Oh, and by the way, you're not killing Cyrus."

There's a lot to take in there but we'll start with the obvious: "I didn't even say I was planning on it."

She rolls her eyes, "You didn't have to, I can see the plan formulating in your mind. No murder. Cyrus will live for the rest of his miserable life in prison without you sending someone to rough him up or kill him."

Sometimes it's a shame how well she knows him. It genuinely sucks sometimes because she can read him like a book. No matter how successful he is at hiding everything from, well, pretty much everyone else, she just rolls her eyes and lets him know exactly what he's doing. Half the time, she knows before he does. The other half, she's informing him it's normal to express your emotions.

"I don't think he should even be able to walk around," he admits, struggling somewhat to voice the hatred he feels for the other mobster. "I've wanted to kill the guy for years, ever since I laid eyes on him. Going after you, kidnapping and raping you as some sort of sick revenge against me was the last straw."

"It was stupid to go after me and he'll pay. For the rest of his life, he'll be in prison. Solitary, you said. He can't run his business in solitary. Cyrus will never be able to hurt me or anyone else again," Carly says, grasping his hand and squeezing it. "He's a piece of shit. I look forward to the day he's in jail, serving his sentence. But it's probably going to be a few weeks."

"Which provides plenty of opportunity-"

"He lives. You're not going to jail because of him, Jason. Cyrus isn't worth it, alright? I don't care if he dies tomorrow. If you go to jail, I'll have to break you out of there myself and that probably won't go too well," she laughs at that. "So, save us all the paperwork and don't kill him. Besides, I confronted him."

She- confronted- "You did what? Carly, that is a man who could kill you and threatened to! He's very much capable of keeping that threat! Did you want to die?"

What inspired her to go confront her kidnapper/rapist? What made her think that was the sane thing to do while he was unconscious in a hospital bed?! She could've died and he can't have that happening because it'd be his fault. It's also such an ugly thought he can't stand to think of it. Carly cannot die.

"I brought guards, I threatened him, I yelled and screamed, I also cried for a while," she summarizes. "And to answer your question, I don't have a death wish. There's children I have to take care of and I'm not done complicating your life yet. I've got at least ten more years left in me."

"You confronted a man who could kill you."

"With guards, Jason."

"That doesn't make it okay! Carly, you can't act like there wasn't a good chance you could've died! You can't reason with people like Cyrus, you can't go in on your own."

"I. Brought. Guards."

"And they could've died too. He took out a whole group of them once, an entire warehouse of the Novak crew."

"You're acting like I didn't know what I was doing! I knew exactly what I was doing and it was either that or wonder if you'd live to tell me I'm being stupid again, Jason. Which choice would you have made?" Carly asks, tears building up in her eyes. No, he's mad, don't start crying. That'll make him sad. No crying, Carly, please don't. "I'm not so unknowledgeable when it comes to the business, you know."

"No, but you don't know how the business works. Things like that, impulsive things, they get people killed! They're the things that cause people to die and not the type you can come back from. You can't be doing things like that and pulling stunts like threatening Cyrus. He has nothing left to lose, which means he has everything to gain. If he can kill you, which is what he wants to do, that'll be a win for him and a final way to get back at me. That's what he wants and you're playing right into it." Jason exclaims. Emotional outbursts are rare for him, which probably made the point more clear. He hopes so. Losing her-

That's a thought almost too painful to bear thinking of.

"I was worried you would die! Jason, I couldn't spend another hour in this room or getting harassed by Sam. I needed to do something, make some statement," Carly argues and he shakes his head. Does she not get it? She could've died.

"And you couldn't go to work at the Metro Court? You had to go and confront a man who wants you dead almost as much as he wants me dead, Carly! It was stupid. You could've died."

"I was safe-"

"You don't get it! Doing that, no matter how many guards are there, isn't safe. I don't care if you had the place full with guards, he wants you six feet under and he wants me even further. What if he shot you? What if he hurt you? What if he killed you?" Emotions just seem to flow out of him like water does down a river at this point, anger and hurt and worry and sadness all combined into one.

"He didn't-"

"Not this time. Next time, he could. You could've gotten hurt or killed or shot at and I'm not going to be the reason for that."

"Well there won't be a next time."

"How can you be so sure about that, Carly? You don't control him. He's his own person; he does what he wants, exactly when he wants, exactly how he wants. And he could've hurt you."

"Every single time you agrees to one of those meetings with him or left to go, seemingly, anywhere, I thought the same thing. He's tried to get to you a million times. But you didn't die."

"I didn't die because I'm aware of the intricacies of the business! You're not and, as much as I'm grateful you're not, I can't have you running around picking fights with people who want you dead, who want me dead."

"Do you want a fake apology?" Carly snaps. "Do you want me to pretend like I didn't know that? I'm all too aware of the fact that everytime I leave the house, I could get shot at and die or that everytime I see you it might be the last time because of your line of work. I am intimately familiar with the anxieties of waiting in a hospital room to see if you're going to wake up or not from yet another injury. You're acting like it's my first day as someone who cares about people in your line of work and you're wrong. It's not. I knew damn well what I was doing and I know you would've done the same if they'd shot me."

Well. He didn't think of that. Anger sort of half drowns inside of him, flopping but still very much there at her beyond dumb move. "You're right. I would've killed him if he'd shot you or hurt you. But that doesn't make that you get to go out and pick fights with him because you're worried. It means you've got to be careful, stay in groups. It means-"

"Don't tell me what I should've done."

"What would you like me to do, congratulate you? Congratulations, Carly, you could've died! You could've died and if I woke up to that knowledge I don't know what I'd do."

"You'd keep surviving. Probably throw yourself into the business even more, to a point I don't think it'd be healthy." Carly shakily says, clearly having thought about it. "You'd tell Donna all about me when she started to forget I existed."

"You've thought of this?" Jason asks, incredulous. "You've thought about what I'd do if you died?"

"When we thought you were gone, I thought about what you would've done if roles were reversed."

There's a solid 20% chance she's pulling at his heartstrings right now to get sympathy and it's working. 100%. She could be completely playing him and he'd believe it at this point.

He hugs her as best as he can in the hospital bed. "I wasn't dead. You're not dead, thankfully. But you can't take risks with your life, not like that. Your kids need their mom. People need you. I'd miss you."

"How nice, I sobbed myself to sleep for weeks because you were gone and you'd miss me." Tugging at the heart, yet again.

"Oh come on, Carly. You know what I mean."

"Yeah, yeah I do."

It's a strange bond they've got (and a strange life he's got), but at least they can count on one thing: their friendship. Hence why kissing and stuff can't mean anything or complicate things. They've been in each other's lives so long, if they dated or something and it went south, he doesn't know if they could bounce back. And that's a terrifying thought, that they could be,,, not friends.

To be continued after I change my tampon and sleep because I'm fucking tired :)

@ryleighjosephine