#i don't think they get women either
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btw, on the personal note here, and i know this has already been discussed, but you remember that 'i'd rather be in the forest with a bear than a man." yeah...
last night i was coming back from work, late. one of my colleagues gave me ride down town to catch up night tram, so i was waiting there but about 4 other people and this men just kept walking back and forth and he was looking at me. i was in my uniform, and i'm used that people just look at me while i'm wearing it, but he was looking at me and looking at the trolley bag i had with me. now, he walked up to me and said "do you need help with that?" "no, thanks." "it just it looks heavy, i can help." "it's not. thanks but no." now, keep in mind it's like 1am. he could be a thief. he could be on drugs. he could be a perv. i'm keeping it cold but polite because i really don't know how he is going to react. then i see it clicks with him. "i'm sorry, i just wanted to help, sorry about this." and he walked away on the other side of the platform. we get in the tram, i go on one end, he goes to the other. i'm silently praying he doesn't get out on the same stop like i do. he didn't. i walked home and i just kep thinking, maybe he really just wanted to be a good guy and help but... don't men really understand that this freaks out women so much? alarm bells ringing pretty much immediately? and yeah, i don't think they get it.
#just a thought#i really don't understand men at all but then again#i don't think they get women either
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testing out drawing maormer 🪸🐚🪸 and a nelvas 🧣📜🩷 i'll ramble about maormer a bit in the tags
#tes#skyrim#my art#do you like my nelvas emojis🧣📜🧣📜 get it? scarf🤗 and scroll🤗 Everything hurts sofucking bad#anyways i talked about them wif my friend quite a bit i basically 'agree' w/ everything that is written about them && their biology in -#- canon; except tes is very much all Talk and no good actual visual presentation of what it's talking about#cus all of the maormer look like garboooo likeee what am i looking @#but since this is just a first test i think i'll keep playing around with their looks later; they are most close to altmer obvi in the -#- sense of how 'mutated' they r. however maormer are more gross looking for the typical human#they do have flat faces and alldat in canon already but i want them to just have nostrils and no real nose bridge#and they have no lips😝 they also have very visible gums. && have anglerfish teeth#what would be fur on other mer is just scales on them and is placed is scattered in the same places#i was thinking of making swimming most comfortable for them so i gave them more fins#they'd have them on arms and legs and the hair on the tail for them is just a big fin🐠#as for hair i'm thinking of them having none of it at all bcos it looks sooooo ugly on them it's very unnerving to see hair on fish#either no hair at all or something with a different texture. like slimy silky thin seaweed#or the hair that m*necraft striders have LMAO#webbed fingers is cuuuute they'd have webbed armpits like they're those flying rodents🐿 lol#i'd place their gills on both the neck and their ribs#whenever they wear clothes they tie their arm and leg fins up ; i think from birth they just stay in water until they hit puberty and -#- r able to actually walk around#another cute fact is that males and females wud look literally the same almost (women are flat chested too)#fish fish fish#maybe i'll rethink some stuff. i still wanna draw fish babies#but in reality i think even the mere existence of maormer is very pointless bc they don't really matter at all do they#tes lore is soooo overstuffed that's why i don't know anything about it my time is so valuable to meLMFAOAOOO#saw a typo in this sorry i'm just chill like that
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It's weird how people paint "daddy issues" and even "mommy issues" as, like, a joke or a failure on part of the person who has those issues, rather than recognizing that daddy and mommy issues stem, for so many people, from abuse. What this all is is just abuse apologia, and nobody seems to either notice or maybe even care.
When somebody with daddy or mommy issues opens up about the "why," I can't ever seem to shake the fact that they tend to have gone through a ton of abuse and bullshit as a child. It's just crazy that other people would look at that and see a joke or a failure of the once-child who was abused.
#abuse#abuse tw#abuse mention tw#child abuse#child abuse tw#mental health#it really goes to show (to me) that people either can't or don't WANT to acknowledge that parents can be the ones to have fucked up#if all the blame is placed on their child/ren then you can maintain the illusion that the parent is always right...#...that parents know what is best and they will always do what is best for their child/ren#it's just weird to be somebody with parental issues and all that gets steamrolled into 'mommy issues' that then become a Big Joke...#...especially because i'm a man (and because people are misogynists who think it's just so funny that women are people)...#...i find that my own issues are expected to be treated as a joke or a punchline or something i must whisper in the dark...#...so that others may have the luxury of pretending to not hear it or to have the luxury of forgetting in the morning...#...and it just sucks because that leaves me to remember and grieve and doing that with the knowledge that my abuse Is A Joke at My Expense#if you wonder why so many abuse victims/survivors become unsavoury: this is why#i'm too bitter about this topic specifically to care about the comfort of people who don't get it and don't WANT TO...#...because it is THEY who are uncomfortable with the very NOTION that abuse happens#if you can't acknowledge that abuse happens WITHOUT downplaying to for your sense of comfort you will NEVER help abuse victims/survivors#you will find that you start prioritizing YOUR sense of comfort over the safety and continued survival of victims/survivors
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Akio is scary because I could meet him on the street. He could be my cool teacher, or my friend's uncle, or that one guy in the Marines, or some man my father met when he was 16. So many people practice cruelty casually, hidden under a veneer of approachability. Akio doesn't have to be a god to be cruel. Akio is scary because I could talk to him and not notice. I've had enough friends/family/classmates abused that I know that abusers can just be kind of stupid and in a position of power. Treating them as gods/flawless masterminds just elevates their perceived power. If they were actually that suave and intelligent, they wouldn't be in the business of sexually assaulting kids.
yeah. you really do not have to be some master manipulator to take advantage of children, the most vulnerable people in the world. and i guess people who claim he is some kind of mastermind just aren't aware that they in all likelihood have met people like him. that he's everywhere. and, y'know, lucky for them i suppose, that they percieve this kind of abuse as something special and rare that basically only happens in fiction. must be a nice sort of ignorance to have about the world.
#akio's rarer “manipulation” of adults like the ohtori faculty and kanae's parents isn't really about him being very smart either#he's just kind of charming and (apparently. don't ask me how) attractive to middle aged women#and i think he knows (though it may be giving his self-awareness too much credit) that that won't get him very far in the real world#there's a reason he percieves being in charge of a school as the most powerful position a person could possibly have.#“this tower is the summit of ohtori academy and the summit of the world”#and it's just. so pathetic#akio#asks#m
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Obsessed with people who pine so much after the object of their affections that their desire becomes an ugly thing, festering within them. A longing that becomes violent, not against the subject of the love but instead the person who loves, a sword in the gut, a knife in the back from that which they trust most- themself. Yearners who don't hate the fact that they're in love but nonetheless loathe themselves for loving at all and being unable to act, for holding this thing in their chest and letting it destroy them. Yearners who view their own love as a virus that infects them, a cancer growing inside of them, and yet they are unwilling to remove it. They would rather keep it behind their teeth, hidden by their lips, than utter it aloud and yet it destroys them with every second they let it go unspoken.
#yes this is about ivan. but it's also about felix fraldarius (fe3h) and a few other characters who are just. so emotionally repressed my god#but yeah i love a character who is in love but like it's not some beautiful fairy tale thing. it's fucked up and ugly but not insofar as#their love being ugly itself but the way that they treat it. it's a character that hates themself for being in love at all#they might also hate *being* in love but like moreso they think that they shouldn't be in love at all or that they don't deserve it etc#i am just the perfect kind of fucked up and evil to delight at the idea of being able to get my grubby little hands on one of these#obviously this isn't a gendered thing either!! i have multiple ocs that are women that act this way lmao#also i do think marceline could arguably be one of these when she's in the weird no man's land time with bubblegum. anyways#alnst ivan#felix hugo fraldarius#marceline abadeer#rocktalks
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I recommended S listen to a specific singer and after he did, we talked about her one afternoon. I mentioned how I wish I had her hair and style and how pretty I think she is... He proceeds to tell me that he has a little crush on her 🫠
#every time I think about it my brain just goes “...oh”#almost teared up a little bit looking at her pics earlier#I mean she is drop dead gorgeous so I totally get it#but I don't look a thing like her and I know I sound soooo delusional rn... my apologies#and I don't look like any of his other celebrity crushes either but at least me and those other women have a few general features in common#I honestly look more like his wife than I do any of his celeb crushes but it still kinda stings ya know#s#male teacher crush#teacher crush#teacher crush community#male tc#teacher x student#crush on teacher#teacher crush blog#tc crush#tcc#tc community#tcc love
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sanji trying to seduce zoro so zoro will marry him bc luffy bullied marines into forging papers that say sanji was legally adopted into his family, and sanji wants to be MONKEY SANJI on wanted posters almost less than he wants to be VINSMOKE SANJI. and robin already said she wouldn't marry him.
#she also said don't bother asking franky and it was nawt a request#luffy offering to marry sanji is so funny too at first hes like thats sweet thank you but then luffy is serious and he realises the name#and hes like no. no ill kill you i cant talk to women if they think my name is monkey sanji ill kill ME#zoros like. man youre fucking stupid as fuck. just have them put your epithet on it like every other cool pirate. loser.#the wanted poster thing is really funny to me bc fr how do they fix it. its not like they can put a name change request in ahduwhxksn#funniest zosan au of this scenario is they get married and excitedly await the next wanted posters and it still says vinsmoke#like. why on earth would your enemies the marines gaf if you changed your name.#as if your MORTAL enemy the world govt is gonna process a marriage license or a name change either
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Something that occurred to me this time…
… Is that Eliot deliberately brings Hardison w/ him to confront Moreau the first time. He tells Nate that he and Hardison will do it (don't worry, I also Love Hardison taking the moment to be like 'hey, are you okay?' bc those two usually express themselves through bickering so much that it clearly telegraphs just how off Eliot is being that Hardison is dropping the usual banter to be serious).
Which for one thing, says something about Eliot's confidence in Hardison in general, but also, like… Yes, Parker's probably not the choice for that introduction, it's not her style, but Nate or Sophie could also have played the part. He could have tried to go alone. But he pulls Hardison.
Obviously he's not trying to put Hardison in danger, he makes it quite clear in all other scenarios that he does not tolerate Hardison in danger (visual cues in The Gone Fishin' Job my beloveds), the others are well aware of the fact that he's Done Some Shit and are equally unaware of his connection to Moreau. And to be honest, I can't pinpoint an exact reason why I think he might have done it, chosen Hardison to be the one who finds out first. Maybe he suspected Moreau would underestimate Hardison, making him safer (relatively, if course), then someone like Nate or Sophie. Maybe he thought it would be best to have Hardison's tech skills as back up. Maybe he thought Hardison would roll w/ the punches the best. Maybe he just wanted Hardison there for morale.
I don't know, but it's a moment that didn't really occur to me the first time, but I think is actually quite meaningful in a more emotional way.
#Leverage#and of course he's right Hardison handles it w/ aplomb and only gets mad after#I do think Parker wouldn't have been the right choice for that#just that specific situation in general#Moreau's clearly significantly not very respectful of women so either her or Sophie might have to do a more dangerous grift#I mean it doesn't go well for the Italian#Nate meanwhile is Always a wild card in his own way#but I've said it before and I'll say it again that in their own way I think Nate and Eliot have one of the most familial relationships#they mesh together in a very specific way that they don't talk about but becomes clear over the course of the show#the father/son the other never really got to have#and I do think that being suddenly confronted by that revelation combined w/ that relationship#would have thrown Nate for a loop enough to possibly destabilise things#but Hardison and him have had to work in the fly before#Hardison is one of the most versatile of team in regards to characters#he adapts quickly when it's needed#I think in a way Eliot makes a bet Hardison will roll w/ the con until they're out#will be able to not ask questions and avoid having too much of Moreau's attention#plus it will be more believable to Moreau#Hardison can handle it until they're out and then he can get mad and they'll deal w/ it#also I think Hardison helps stabilise him#while I do think people ascribe too much of Eliot's development to exclusively Parker and Hardison (esp Parker)#they absolutely do play an important role#and I think Eliot feels comfortable taking a risk bc he knows Hardison will keep his head and be ready to come up w/ something#Literal Crime Family
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we went over the 14yr long torture session in my last therapy visit actually, and i told her that toward the end i was fantasizing about and then actively considering walking into traffic because if i got catastrophically injured then they would have to treat my pain. and she told me that's not an uncommon thing for people to do. that she has heard that many times before.
like think about that. we are so moralistic about drug use and have politicized a particular type of medicine so much, and doctors are so uncompassionate toward and even suspicious of patients who are in pain because of it, that it's NOT UNCOMMON for people who are otherwise not suicidal to start completely genuinely longing to get hit by a fucking car just for the chance to be oh so graciously provided the absolute bare fucking minimum of care.
think about how many different things have pain as a symptom. how many things have pain as the only symptom the patient is aware of. how many of them are life or death crises. heart attacks. blood clots. strokes. bleeding ulcers. those are just what i can think of off the top of my fucking head, AND I'M NOT A FUCKING DOCTOR.
what i had, for example, feels exactly like appendicitis. and they left it for fourteen years because my only symptom was excruciating pain and i didn't fit their stupid little (completely unsupported by evidence, btw) diagnostic mnemonic. if it had been appendicitis, or anything else as immediately deadly that "just" hurts, i would have fucking died the same night i got sent home from the emergency room with "medical" "advice" to take some tylenol and rest - for the first time, that is. out of dozens. how many people do die that way?
because addicts are Bad. and because doctors are too arrogant and biased to practice medicine on the basis of evidence and informed consent when the profit model and conservative propaganda make it soooo easy to stay in the good old days of paternalism instead.
#jack facts#medical#soc#i want to tag this ''opioid crisis'' but i truly don't think i can manage to type it without the quote marks lmao#and like my thing and none of the things i mentioned are fixable via opioids obviously and fucking obviously i know that#but the fucking circus about opioid use and how prescribing opioids Must be avoided at All Costs No Matter What#results in this Us vs Them mentality of The Treacherous Drug Seeker vs The Nurse/Doctor Too Smart To Be Fooled#which is precisely why i said in my last post that they're ''like cops''#they have this perception that they are being constantly rushed by the lying swindling Enemy#and are so smug about it when they believe they have magically divined when someone reporting pain is faking or exaggerating#based on whatever the fuck they individually have decided is Drug Seeking Behavior TM TM TM#which are almost fucking always just normal fucking behavioral responses to pain and fear!!!!#and then that person is not a Patient (as cops are to Victim) they are instead an Addict (as cops are to Criminal)#and that person not only does not get pain relief they don't get anything the god damn fuck else either except a fucking attitude#and people fucking die. of whatever is hurting in the first place or from their endurance for endless torment running out.#disproportionately women and people of color and fat people and the mentally ill and disabled and the poor and children and the elderly and#nurses/doctors 🤝 cops 🤝 soldiers 🤝 ceos 🤝 mass murderers who are socially celebrated for heroism#not to put too radical and fine a point on it or anything lol#ANYWAY#i'll probably delete this or at least the tags lmao#whatever. i'm going to go lie in bed and have symptoms until 6 am when i have to get up to go be retraumatized at the medical lab :)#neglect#drug use#suicide#car crash#illness#ask to tag
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a compilation of overcomplicated hypothetical future IEYTD installments that i would kill to be canon
ft various spoilers for all three of the current non-hypothetical installments also ft really bad names for them in order to keep the list organized
I Expect You To Die; Once Burned, Twice Shy
During one of their usual heists against one of Zoraxis' latest schemes, Phoenix finds themself caught in what turns out to have been an orchestrated trap from the start. Not only is Zoraxis unscathed from the agent's attempt to stop their plans, but in the process, they find a way to pin their escape/the damage left behind on Phoenix in a catastrophic way, severing the Agency's trust in them and their handler.
Time after time again, Zoraxis have underestimated the Agent, but by separating the biggest thorn in their side from their main source of intelligence, power, and even locomotion, what can they possibly do to stop them from tearing down the rest of the Agency? And how is the Agency supposed to stop them without their star pupil turned 'traitor'?
Left with nothing aside from the guidance of their handler and their own sharp intuition- devoid of the Agency's tools or assistance- Phoenix needs to prove to Zoraxis and everyone else that they're more than just the tools the Agency lets them wield.
The 'gimmick' of this plot is kind of meant to be a parallel to what happened with Zoraxis at the end of the sequel. That being losing their trust with the rest of the world, and being forced to work in the shadows as opposed to hiding in plain sight. Because of this, a variation of this plot could be Zoraxis framing the entire Agency, instead of just Phoenix, forcing all of them to work and exist under the radar until they can clear their names. I just think the Phoenix specific plot is more entertaining, and made more personal by focusing on the protagonist.
I Expect You To Die; Pick Your Poison
The Fabricator probably has the most untapped potential and implied history with the Agency aside from Zor themself. While to me it feels like she's such an important character any plot that focuses on her would be a very late-game element, I can definitely see her serving as the 'main' antagonist of her own entry to the series.
The Agency- despite knowing the location of at least one of the Fabricator's workshops, are too intimidated by her lethality and talent to consider sending any more Agents to apprehend or face off against her. Behind Zor themself, they've gone on to list her in her dossier as the most lethal mind in Zoraxis' sprawling arsenal.
The Fabricator already has a bit of a vendetta against the agent, if not for the damage done to her workshop, then for the damage done to Zor's schemes, and by association, all of the tech she engineered for them.
There is also the point to consider that the Fabricator is in a very interesting place, for an antagonist position. Knowledgeable enough to know what happens to disappointing Zoraxis operatives- the cause of Juniper's death, almost Prism's, and who knows who else's- and yet… she seems more or less unbothered to remain by their side despite. The Agency wanting to get the Fabricator out of Zor's hands partnered with her seemingly deep running loyalty has very interesting implications for a betrayal arc of sorts.
I Expect You To Die; Reach for the Sky
Solaris is another character that has been brought up again and again in various ways, implying relevance- or at least, future relevance- to the series. While it would make perfect sense for her to accompany a Fabricator-focused installment, there's an equal probability for her to get something to herself.
Solaris- while perhaps not considered as dangerous as the Fabricator- is on par with her in terms of intelligence, and the Death Engine is still considered by the Agency to be one of the most powerful weapons to scourge humanity (as opposed to exclusively agents, as something like project KBOOM would have been).
While her loyalties to Zoraxis were obviously shaky even during her first appearance, Solaris is very self driven, and just because she may have broken ties with Zoraxis* doesn't mean she's completely out of the picture. As one of the Fabricator's tapes in Eaves Drop would suggest, Solaris still holds a grudge on the agent that destroyed her life's work. It isn't out of the question to consider that she would try to seek out her revenge, even on her own terms.
It's interesting to consider an arc that separates on competing with Zoraxis, rather than against them. Maybe- despite severing alliances with them- Solaris' tech is still of interest to Zor, which gets them involved the spat by proxy. Or maybe Zor- much like what they did when Anna intended to defect- is sending out a couple of operatives to take care of their newest loose end, with Phoenix finding themself caught in the crossfire.
*It is also possible that Solaris' 'defecting' from Zoraxis may have been a hoax or an effort to save face, with her being publicly tied to a newly exposed homicidal company. While somewhat unlikely, were this the case I don't think much about this hypothetical plot would change, save for Zoraxis being more of a main player (as they usually are) as opposed to a background threat.
I Expect You To Die; Playing With Fire
Vitti will almost certainly be given a mainstage role in a future installment, though with so little known about her, it's difficult to place how or where she'll show up. We know she used to be a field agent (maybe even Reginald's agent, when we consider that he used to hold the title of 'lead handler' at the same time she was 'lead agent'), and that she either had or gained ties to Zoraxis that may have lead to her erasure from Agency history. She also has the best case argument for being the Phantom, implying an interest in the Phoenix, as well as their survival.
To me, she's the perfect case for a betrayal/eluding-to-betrayal style arc without dipping into mind control. With the Agency being a dubiously-moral force as it stands, Vitti seems the perfect character to at least raise the potential that the Agency isn't really as good as they project themselves to be… and that the Phoenix isn't as safe with them as they'd like to think they are.
Maybe the two of them communicate off radar- Phoenix chasing after Zoraxis' tail while Vitti watches from the sidelines- breaching their coms to say her piece… Maybe the handler gives a piece of advice that Vitti contradicts, with her's being the safer option… Quietly worming the idea into the agent's head that even their own handler may not always have their best interest in mind… Whether or not there's any member of the Agency they can actually trust.
At the end of the day, Zor wants to tear apart every last facet of the Agency. But, they have a rival's fondness for the Phoenix… If they join Zoraxis, they'll be spared. They'll survive. If they stay with the Agency, they'll inevitably burn with the rest of them. She made her choice a long time ago… and she expects the agent to choose correctly.
I Expect You To Die; World in Your Hands
I don't care if it isn't likely I would do ANYTHING for a mind control arc (or something similar, at least), where we play as a Phoenix who- one way or another- has become a Zoraxis operative. It doesn't need to make sense while it happens because it would be fun as shit.
It isn't as if Phoenix still doesn't get to leave a trail of fiery destruction in their wake, it just isn't to the detriment of Zor this go around… Instead of the handler in your ear (🙁 no jared mason…) you can have one of the Zoraxis Operatives- either a new one, or a rotating cast of old ones (😊 yay mela lee). The souvenirs you bring back being exceedingly dangerous contraptions, explosives, prototype weaponry, and of course, many, many Zoraxis brand foodstuffs of varying degrees of quality. AND it would give Schell an excuse to bring back things like genuine gun combat from the first game.
And you get to be evil. Which literally who doesn't want to be evil?? Hello? We can get an epic evil cinematic intro and everything? An encounter with the handler where his voice shakes in genuine fear- for his life, for who his agent has become, for what Zor has done to them- HELLO??
#ieytd#ieytd3 spoilers#LONG POST... SORRY. except im not. my autism power...#should i tag like. the relevant guys??#i don't see why not#agent phoenix#the fabricator#commander solaris#the handler#dr zor#v. vitti#i think that's the tag. for her#i am coping with the solaris mention but also i fail to see why they would continue to make her relevant if she's really out of the picture#they showed her quitting zoraxis and then showed her agency dossier still tying her to zoraxis?? 🤨🤨 whats the deal here#anyways. i still think either her or fabby could be mainstay villains/get a game to themselves#and im very excited to see what schell does with vitti in the future. yay evil women
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I think people likely do suspect Meredith might be a little 💅 you know?
Obviously some followers of the Chantry take up vows of chastity, though from what I've been reading, while templars aren't required to take said vows, they do require special permission to marry as they may be required to move to other Circles or to do the Chantry's bidding elsewhere. As it were, if a spouse can provide their own support (e.g., owning land, having a role in another organization like the City Guard [I think of Aveline and Wesley, as he was apparently a former templar]), then permission is granted. This process likely deters most templars from formally marrying, or even maintaining long-term relationships.
That said, it's evident that templars in Kirkwall frequent the Blooming Rose often enough that Meredith eventually orders a raid of the place to find out which of her knights have been paying for sex and 'ruining' the reputation of the Order and its Knight-Commander. Obviously this demonstrates that templars seek and pay for sex without commitment nor worry about an actual relationship.
But, I am also certain that templars do have relationships beyond the Order - and perhaps, also, within it, though this is obviously discouraged and likely to earn reprimand for engaging in activities that could be seen as distracting from their duties (and creating a conflict of interest / tension among the ranks).
Now, with that context in mind, let's get back to Meredith.
Of course, already in Act 1 people are terrified of Meredith, and those who serve her do not want to break rules or cross her. She too wouldn't have any interest in being involved with someone serving under her, though I'm sure there are speculations about her interests. After all, we know from World of Thedas vol 2 that, when she stormed the brothel, she came across a very naked, very erect Jethann and politely and quietly excused herself. I'm sure Jethann has talked about this incident and rumours have spread; either the Knight-Commander is indeed, just a paragon of her faith and upholding a strict vow of chastity, or she isn't interested in men. While not a common assertion, someone, somewhere has probably drunkenly theorized about it. Like all the other rumours about Meredith, I think this one would certainly be among them.
Additionally, and this is in the game itself, but if Hawke is male and 'flirtatiously' compliments Meredith, she shuts him down by saying "I do not wear this armour for how it looks" and all but rolls her eyes at him. If Hawke is female, she simply says nothing (again, likely that they forgot to record a line / chose not to), but sometimes actions speak louder than words!
Now, in my own personal headcanon, I believe that as a Knight-Templar, Meredith had to deal with her templar brothers finding her attractive and desiring her in that way, which in response, she had to assert over and over, her utter disinterest in them. Most of these boys and young men thought they were rejected because Meredith was so focused on her studies, but others really found it hard to believe she would reject them. Obviously, this started the rumour mill about Meredith, both among her own cohort and beyond; after all, she was already a contentious initiate, since she already had an 'in' to doing well in the Order ahead of her peers because she was Knight-Captain Kell's unofficial adoptive daughter. Her blatant rejections towards her fellow knights' advances only added to that, with speculations ranging from the fact she already had a secret lover outside of the Gallows, to the fact she simply preferred the company of the fairer sex.
While it was true that Meredith was intensely focused on her duties and becoming the best Templar she could be, she was well aware of her romantic interest and sexual attraction toward other women early on (likely around age 16-17). I think as a ward of the Chantry that Meredith likely developed some close, possibly homoerotic friendships with other girls who grew up alongside one another, but obviously as Meredith became a templar initiate and stayed in the barracks of the Gallows, some connections may have been lost over time.
As an adult and new Knight-Templar, I believe Meredith - young, tall, and handsome - did have numerous illicit affairs with Chantry Sisters over the years, including when she became Knight-Captain, but stopping when she became Knight-Commander. As I've discussed, Meredith is hypersexual and this affects her relationships, but during this time, because of her duties, she is never able to form a long-term romantic relationship, preferring short-lived and secretive sexual relations, hidden by the cover of nightfall and the shadows in the darkest corners of the Chantry. While she has always been hypervigilant about, well, just about everything (due to her PTSD), there have always been wandering eyes and listening ears that notice such things.
In the timeline of Kirkwall, as mentioned above, I don't think such a rumour would become known by Meredith as most people are frightened of her and wouldn't dare mention it, but I do think the templars who have known her since the beginning, and those who have perhaps seen or heard a little too much, might know about where her preferences lie. In Thedas, for the most part, it would seem that having same-sex attraction is not seen as inherently bad or evil, though according to Brother Gentivi, in some places it is considered a quirk of character or sometimes scandal if done indiscreetly , or it can be accepted provided a noble still contribute to procreation and reproducing heirs for bloodlines.
In this case, given Meredith's position as Knight-Commander, and the other actions (or inaction) she takes regarding the templar-mage conflict and ruling the city, people knowing her sexuality is truly just another piece of gossip shared over ale in Lowtown, though one that may invoke further judgement by some.
#HEADCANON.#The Rumor Come Out: Does Meredith Stannard is Gay?#[ anyway not to say that there's rampant homophobia but I do think people would speculate ]#[ and as much as Meredith thinks she keeps her personal life as private as possible ]#[ there are signs and people pay attention ]#[ anyway i've been writing this for like an hour bc it started off silly but I made it serious ]#[ but yeah it doesn't matter but i do think it's just a part of all the rumours about what she's up to ]#[ and i don't think the women she's been w would say much either bc it would also affect their lives as Chantry Sisters too ]#[ sorry it's the sociologist in me and thinking about the dynamic of what it would be like to be an (evil) lesbian in a position of power ]#[ and obviously she'd never be able to get married in her canon ]#[ 1) bc of her duties to the chantry taking priority and 2) being so in the public eye would make it a huge spectacle ]#[ and that would just not be as feasible because it appears marriage in the DA world is for the purposes of procreation/connecting families#[ and i think also w meredith being the last Stannard alive in Kirkwall that ppl would expect her to eventually want to have a child but ]#[ obviously as the years go on that one dies down p quick ]#[ not me writing another essay in the tags sdjfhjsdf ]
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The two stories/series/media creations that make me want to gnaw on the drywall right now are Revolutionary Girl Utena, a masterful deconstruction of tropes rooted in sexism and queerphobia but with pervasive racist/imperialist elements* in the background, and Dune, a masterful deconstruction of tropes rooted in racism and imperialism but with pervasive sexist/queerphobic** elements in the background. it's hilarious it's like they're made to cancel each other out
#shitpost#rgu#sky#revolutionary girl utena#shoujo kakumei utena#dune#dune series#dune movie#*i'm not the only one who thinks that akio and anthy being the only ones with skin darker than snow white's is kinda weird right?#that's not just me?#something something japanese imperialism and the exotification/fetishization of Desi people or darker-skinned people in general#**the recent movies do a better job of this but hoo boy the books are Utterly Saturated with heteronormativity and the gender binary#the whole thing with the Bene Gesserit and the Kwisatz Haderach can really only exist with the acceptance of the gender binary#and it breaks down once you try to analyze why it's in place. in order for it to work you just kinda need to ignore the existence of#intersex/transgender/genderqueer/nonbinary people and treat the categories of 'men' and 'women' as mutually exclusive homogenous boxes#and then of course there's the fact that in the books all the female characters are either Bene Gesserit or Fremen (wives)#the Dune books very much treat men as the default#as a final note i'd joke like “posts that are gonna get me cancelled for enjoying Problematic Shit” but like#i don't think either the rgu or the dune fandoms are that kind of community lol
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you wanna know what??
I am
TIRED
of overmasculinized werewolves!!!!
I WANNA SEE A
WEREWOLF
WALKING AROUND IN A CVNTY LITTLE OUTFIT!!! WALKING THE STREETS!!!! DISEMBOWELING CREATURES!!!!
I WANNA SEE WEREWOLVES COVERED IN BLOOD AND GORE WHILE WEARING A SHORT SKIRT AND CROPTOP WITH HELLO KITTY ON IT!!!!
I WANNA SEE A WEREWOLF WALKING AROUND IN COTTAGE AND FAIRY AND PRINCESS CORE OUTFITS!!!!!! WITH A DEAD MANGLED RABBIT IN ITS MOUTH!!!!
AND MAKE THE WEREWOLF
D I S G U S T I N G ! ! !
#i am TIRED of seeing all these manly man werewolves that are all copy and paste white boys#I am TIRED of seeing all these woman werewolves being butch and masculine(also mostly white) or submissive!!!#I WANNA SEE SOME PLUS-SIZE WEREWOLVES I WANNA SEE SOME BLACK ASIAN LATINO MIDDLE EASTERN NON WHITE WEREWOLVES!!!!! THAT ARNT F3TIZIED!!!!!#I WANNA SEE A G I R L WEREWOLF THATS INTO “G I R L Y” THINGS!!!!! LET THE WEREWOLF BE A SLVT!!!!!#LET THE WEREWOLF BE IN THE TRADITIONAL CLOTHING OF ITS CULTURE!!!!#AND RIP AND TEAR AND MAUL AND CRY IN THE MORNING AFTER DOING ALL OF IT!!!! RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#no but fr can we werewolf fans like. actually sit down and reflect on the inherent misogyny of werewolves??? ESPECIALLY IN MEDIA#like. almost EVERY. SINGLE. WEREWOLF. in movies and shows and stuff are always a buff white man with anger and trust issues#and on the rare occasion that there *is* a woman werewolf shes always either over masculine or “weaker” than the “stronger alpha male” were#olf and only seen as a mate. AND shes always “calmer” and “maternal” and “calms the alpha male down🥺🥺”.AND she never has an actually good#werewolf form its always either wolf tail and ears or full wolf. or if it *is* actually a decent werewolf her transformation is offscreen.#like whyyyyyyyyyyyyy are people so scared to make women go ape shit?????? werewolves are NOT pretty creatures!!!! STOP MAKING THEM PRETTY!!#(lmao jk we know why they're so scared hashtag male gaze)#like yes. werewolves ARE pretty but not in the “dog show 30k$ poodle” kind of way i see some people making them(not that that's bad tho)#AND ALSO LIKE. ARE WE JUST GOING TO PRETEND WEREWOLVES LITERALLY WEREN'T MADE FOR WOMEN AND MINORITIES???#like. once a month someone turns into a raging bloodthirsty unstoppable beast driven by the moon and instincts with an insatiable hunger an#need to hide away from people due to them wanting to kill you or fearing you simply because you're a werewolf. they don't know you. they ju#t see you as a creature that might hurt them. constantly being hunted down to be killed simply for existing.#WHAT PART OF THAT SCREAMS: “ah yes. White man.”#IK theres going be people(men and pick mes) that see this post and think “this bitch is overreacting” and tbh idc.the girls who get it get#the girls who dont dont.#anyways shout out to Ginger Snaps trick or treat and every other piece of media or fan piece with disgusting non-f3tiszied woman/poc werewo#i love yall#*smooch smooch*#Werewolves#Werewolf#Lycanthrope#Lycanthropy#Werewolf AU#Yeah. Im tagging that too. I see yall.
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the imposter syndrome i feel every time i even slightly think i might be autistic is insane, specially for a person who highly relates to the lived experiences of people who are professionally diagnosed.
Like I was just watching this one youtuber, and she was talking about very specific examples in her life and childhood where she saw autistic traits that made her realize she was autistic and then seek a diagnosis and then get one, and everything she was saying was like she was describing my life! But yeah no, I can't be autistic tho
#and one thing that has been filling me with dread (as if it was relevant lol) is the idea of seeking a diagnosis and#either not geting it because it's already so hard to find a diagnosis for '''''''women''''''' (afabs)#and that will make me doubt myself even more! but most importantly those around me who already don't believe me#but also i'm very scared about this one thing in particular which is the talking to your parents portion of the diagnosis#where the therapist will want to talk to people who knew me as a child... and that person will have to be my mom#and i'm pretty sure she will dismiss most signs. like she would either not bring them up because ''they're normal''#or play them as less important than they were#or maybe she didn't even notice them! because most of my struggles are internal!#things like being bullied or having no friends or liking a routine#idk if she'll be able to talk about all those#because my bullying wasn't violent it was mostly dismissive#my ''friends'' weren't really friends like i didn't CARE for them as maybe someone would have#and also they would leave me for no reason at all out of the blue... so i don't think even THEY considered ME a friend#and liking routine i guess she could say i prefered it but she doesn't know to the extent i hated going off it#i'm sure she forgot about the time i cried (as a 10 year old so not THAT young) because they made us change classroom#and i didn't know that was gonna happen... it was added to the anxiety that i thought my mother wouldn't be able to find me#but like the unknown classroom traumatized me (to this day i get anxious just thinking about that)#like... all those things i don't think she would bring up (if she could even) and i fear that will make me not get a diagnosis#not that this is a thing that's gonna happen cause as i established i cannot afford a therapist nor i'll ever get a diagnosis i don't think#so like it's not relevant#but i am anxious about it nonetheless#angel talks#personal#idk what's my point with this post btw i'm just venting and creaming to the void#dkfjhgdfg
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re: my last post, but I kind of have a good serving of criticism in my heart about the whole "gerudos as men r*pists*" trope that I've seen bouncing around in fandom since like 2008 at least (and before that I assume), but it's. not a particularly fun topic. so.
#thoughts#cw rape#gerudos#let's just say that#if we do need to go there#(and we Do Not need to go there particularly)#let's say this whole debacle ignores *a lot* of canon content that suggests where the power balance may actually lie#if it does lie anywhere#also the sexually aggressive/domineering brown people trope as another tool of dehumanization is not. yea#but idk I think it's an interesting takeaway to cultivate in the context of the overwhelming examples of#*hylians* being the ones to repeatedly overstep gerudo boundaries#gerudos don't capture men *men try to break in gerudo homes and get arrested* that's a pretty significant difference you guys#if gerudos were so aggressive about it wouldn't men rather be the ones to run away?#why are we keeping them out in the first place etc#anyway weird trope supported by almost nothing and often enabling VERY unhinged racist comments from its fanbase on the regular#can we talk about how the brown race is uncritically characterized as rapists --either ganondorf or his people#in spite of there being basically zero evidence anywhere in the games that this might be the case??? why is this an assumption we're making#idk man people be having weird hangups about all of this#also yeah sure the strong independant women has *got* to be man eaters that treat them like disposable garbage#and like#my dear Men of the Internet#maybe try to fix your anxieties surrounding women being self-sufficient and independant instead of projecting like crazy idk something#sorry the post is Unfun but it's been bothering me since forever#I remember being thirteen and reading a fic with this trope for the first time and being So Scandalized haha#but yeah I've been chewing on the thought ever since so here you go
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@i-cant-stop-fandoming-help
Ngl she wouldn't react well at all, like, that's the baby she saw go through a miraculous recovery after being brough to the hospital at the brink of death. She would be absolutely distaught (even worse if she lears how she died), however, Beni is around and with her being a baby/toddler she'd put her focus on taking care of her, a mixture of a coping mechanism and trying to put her mind on something less soul crushing.
There would definitelly be moments where it gets too hard and she starts crying, but at least she has Hamato and Hikaru there to help her through it.
#needless to say. if she was alive Beni wouldn't be close to Kokoro at all much less see her as a pseudo mother figure#that just happens because she didn't have a mother and Hikaru was stupidly busy at the foundation. so not much parent figure at all#and on a good note this is a Kokoro that survived and went through character development in the kg. so she is nicer and actually wants to#take responsability for what she did and pay of it. she was at the foundation temporarily to get Teruya and Rei out of the sim#afterwards she still went to jail#anyways. back to the Andos#Hikaru doesn't mention having other kids either in his lil FTEs but they are mentioned in the korean translation thread for the cast's fams#alongside an adoptive mother for Kanata so thats where i went off of#and yeah i don't think he would get married again or even get another women in his life. he wasn't much for dating before they met anyway#and when he's gone they will be together again#hyena ramblings#dra#danganronpa another#dra -2+2#Yukari Ando#Benitsuru Ando#Kanata Inori#Hikaru Ando#Hamato Ando
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