#i don't think it's good for you to get so angry over what this other person is or isn't doing
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HARLEY SAWYER X PSYCHOLOGIST READER
HEADCANNONS: before Leiths backstabbing
When Pierre Leith first introduced you both when you were working in the project "bigger bodies" he though it would be good to have Sawyer a little bit more controlled. Your personality and insistence on defying authority made you a good match.
Little did he knew that eventually you would actually start getting along with the doctor, which meant that he had two insubordinate pricks to worry about.
Reader does have compassion and some kind of affection towards Doey, but they ignore it in favour of their own ambitions and the project.
Thats the reason they try not to use cold as much with Doey, only when it's really necessary.
Before your friendship/companionship started to develope, the doctor usually appeared more to respond to Pierre's demands or to talk to the executives but since he doesn't really like doing it and does it out of obligation, he often ask you to talk on behalf of both of you.
That's how the scientific team, the specialist, Pierre, Ludwig and other coworkers started getting used to you being basically the voice of Sawyer outside the lab.
You had enough trust on each other to be able to talk in behalf of the other. (Mostly you since Harley doesn't seem to eager to socialise).
At first, when Doey was recently woken up and he still was getting used to their new body. You and Sawyer would go together to the interviews to record the development of the experiment. Some day out of the blue, Doey started to react aggressively to the doctor, only to him so he started to avoid going to the interviews with the mass and stayed in the observation room.
The doctor sometimes gets actually happy about some improvement his experiments may have but he expressed it with a poker face, a raised brow and the slightest change in his voice.
*Yarnaby actually starts listening for once*
Sawyer: ah, that's so interesting-actually glad for once-
(Y/N):are you actually happy or you're just being awfully sarcastic??
You never actually talked about what you guys like in terms of food or drinks so since sometimes you went to the cafeteria in the upper levels to get some food, your started to bring him random stuff for him to try and watch his reaction in order to find out what he liked. Basically using him as a guinea pig with trial and error.
Harley suspects that that's the reason you've been bringing random stuff with you and offering it to him.
I think he has certain favouritism for Yarnaby so sometimes he makes you test him more than usual even though he knows that he won't get a different response from the yarn lion other than animal like reactions. With time it just turned into an excuse to spend time with you. Your company is actually enjoyable after all.
You both are difficult people to deal with in a work environment. You both like control over things and you are both willing to go to any lengths to reach your ends.
This also comes with certain differences that sometimes makes both your works a little bit unbearable. On one hand we have you, you tend to joke and slip sarcastic comments here and there without any filter, you're cunning, more than he initially assumed. Harley is not used to this so it makes him get really irritated when you don't seem to take something seriously, even though he respects your lack of filter in everything you say.
On the other hand, there's him, he's controlling and he gets easily angry. He's used to be in control so he tends to lash out whenever he's not the one in charge, a very self centered man. It never fails to annoy you how sometimes he just forgets that you're working there two. This was more noticeable during your early ages working together.
With time you have learned to adapt to each other in order to obtain better productivity. But still sometimes you get on each others nerves.
When it comes to physical contact, you guys are basically the definition of touch starved. Some more voluntarily than others...
But just there are moments when Sawyer can feel your hands brush against his when your passing him the paperwork about the experiments, or how your knees graze slightly when you're seated next to each other in the observation room.
You can feel sometimes his breath against your neck since the doctor doesn't know the meaning of personal space. You are inspecting the experiments from a footbridge and the doctor just stands right there, behind you, observing in silence.
And his voice, you have catched yourselves zooning out hearing at his smooth silky voice. When he spoke to Yarnaby like a pet or when he named the a list of experiments that he was expected to operate that day. The tone of his voice was like a kiss to your ears.
Once he fell asleep in his chair after days of exhausting procedures and since the air conditioner was to high and you couldn't really afford to keep up with the business rate without the doctor, you decided to put your own jacket on his shoulders and retired his glasses to the side of his desk.
When he woke up, he silently put your jacket back in your shoulders, his touch lingering way to long
Headcannons about the reader and the doctors relationship pre transformation. Part two of the fanfic I made is in progress...
I also redesigned the doctors human form: tell me what do you think??
#x reader#harley sawyer x reader#harley sawyer#poppy playtime chapter 4#poppy playtime the doctor#the doctor x reader#the doctor#fanfic#leith pierre#poppy playtime#poppy playtime doey
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hiiii!!! do you think you could do something with the gang (separately) being protective of reader? its okay if you dont want to though!!! totally up to you 💕💕
The Gang Being Protective
The outsiders x fem!reader
an: I tried to give them all different plots so it wasn't repetitive. Thank you for the request and sorry this took SOOO long. (This request is so old and this took me WAY too long I'm sorry 😭) please leave more requests guys!
W: men being gross and creepy, swearing, not proof read
Darry Curtis
Darry Curtis normally isn't one for parties, but you convinced him to go to one with you. He was, unfortunately, not having the best time. But you were. You were drinking and dancing and having the time of your life. You pulled Darry around with you as you chatted with your friends, acquaintances, total strangers, anyone.
Some time into the party, the two of you got separated. You were getting another drink and talking to a old classmate from high-school. A guy approaches you, and you immediately get a bad feeling.
"Hey sweet thing." He slurs with a smirk.
You grip your drink tighter and it takes everything in you not to show your disgust on your face. "Hi."
"You look good enough to eat. Let's get outta here, yeah?" He steps way to close to you.
Ew. "No thank-"
"No, she doesn't." A familiar, stern voice cuts you off as a muscular arms is wrapped around your shoulders.
You glance up at him. He's glaring daggers at the man who talked to you.
The man scoffed. "Who the fuck are you?"
"Her boyfriend. Now why don't you back the hell up?" His voice is stern, deep, and angry.
The guy scoffs again, rolls his eyes, and walks away. "Whatever.."
Darry turns his attention to you. "Are you alright, y/n?" He asks tenderly.
You nod. "Thank you."
"Of course, darling, you don't have to thank me." He kisses your forehead.
Sodapop Curtis
"Can you hand me a wrench?" Soda asks you as he sticks his hand out from under the Curtis's truck. The poor old thing had broke from the hundredth time and he was in charge of fixing it.
You grab a wrench out off the tool box beside you and hand it to him. "Here."
"Thank you, sweetheart."
The only reason you're here, sitting on the curb while Soda fixes up the car, is because you had come over to tell him something. You were a little nervous to tell him. You've heard stories from your friends about how their past boyfriends weren't cool with stuff like this.
"Hey, Soda?" You say while staring down at your hands.
"Yeah?" He calls back from under the car.
"I'm going with my friend tomorrow, so we have to cancel our date."
"Oh." He slides out from under the car and sits up, looking at you. "You can't go any other day?"
You shake your head. "He's only going to be in town a few days, and tomorrow is the only day he's free." You explain.
His eyebrows furrow and he looks untrusting. "He?"
You nod. "We were friends in elementary school, but then he moved away."
"Oh." He thinks this over for a minute. "It's not like a date, right?"
Youre taken aback. "What? No, of course not. We're just hanging out as friends, babe."
"Good." He nods and ponders this again for a moment. "Can I go?"
"Do you not trust me?" You ask, feeling slightly hurt.
He shakes his head. "No, of course I trust you. I don't trust this guy I've never meant. Plus, if he's your friend, I wanna meet him." He smiles. Soda did like knowing all the people in your life. He had wanted to meet your family and friends as soon as possible.
"I- I don't know. I haven't seen him in so long, and it might be weird with you there. He doesn't know you, you don't know him. I want you to meet him too, but I don't want to make it awkward with you there the whole time. Don't you think it's annoying when people drag their partners to every hang out."
"Yeah, okay. Hm.. how about I drop you off and meet him when I drop you off." He smiles, knowing that that's a good suggestion.
You smile too. "Sure. That sounds like a good plan, Soda."
Steve Randle
Shelves don't restock themselves, so Steve was stocking them while complaining to you. You ate some chips he bought you while he ranted.
"I got this job so I could work on cars, not restock shelves." He told you.
"Do you want me to help you?" You offer.
"No, no. Its my job. And I don't need us both losing our minds cause of how boring this is."
You laugh. "Okay."
He finishes stocking everything in the box he had, so he goes into the back to get another. He kisses you before going.
You crumple up your empty bag of chips and look for a trash can to throw it away in. The bell by the door rings, meaning someone entered the gas station. You find a trash can and toss the chip bag from a short distance, but somehow, you miss. So, you bend down to pick it up.
And then you hear a whistle. You think it's Steve trying to tease you for a moment, until you turn around and see some random guy. He was smirking at you too. What the hell?
"What the hell?" A familiar voice asks angrily. You turn your head and see Steve walking over to you while glaring at the guy. "Why're you whistling at my girl?"
"Hey, man. I didn't know that she'd been claimed." He raises his hands.
Claimed? You scoff.
"Claimed? " Steve says, "She's a human being, not a, fucking parking spot or something. Why don't you get the hell outta my store." He crosses his arms.
The guys shoves his hands in his jacket pockets and huffs. "Whatever." Then he turns and leaves.
"Fucking asshole." Steve shakes his head then looks down at you. "You okay?"
You smile. "Yes, thank you."
He uncrosses his arms and reaches for your hand, taking it in his. "You don't have to thank me, baby."
Two-Bit Matthews
It was a chilly afternoon, and you and Two-Bit were walking around town together. You were wearing his jacket and his arm was around you. You were talking about random stuff and laughing together. The two of you had just left a diner and were now walking to your house.
You always had a blast when you were with Two-Bit. He was funny and surprisingly sweet. He made you feel lighter and just being around him calmed you down. He was familiar.
The two of talk about school, friends, life, anything that pops into your minds. All is going great until you pass a guy who's leans against the side of a building, smoking a cigarette. He whistles at you. A somewhat small sound that was absolutely unnerving. It immediately made you uncomfortable. And of course Two-Bit heard it and noticed your change in energy.
"Has that ever worked for you?" Two-Bit asks the guy angrily as he wraps his arm tighter around you.
"Huh?" The creep looks you the both of you.
"I said, 'has that ever worked for you?' Because I'm guessin' it hasn't." Two-Bit had stopped walking and was looking back at the guy.
"I- fuck off, man." He turns to leave.
"Leave girls like mine alone, wacko!" Two-Bit calls as the guy walks away. Then he turns his head to look at you. "I'm sorry, baby." He says.
"Oh, it's okay. I'm fine." You say as you two begin to walk down the sidewalk again.
"But it's not okay. Guys shouldn't be whistling at or cat calling you, baby. Ticks me off." He lets go of your waist and holds your hand.
You squeeze his hand, appreciating his concern and protection. "Thanks for standing up for me."
He shrugs. "Don't mention it, I owed you, you got lunch."
Dallas Winston
Dallas loves to show you off. He loves getting to let people know that you're his. He loves watching other guys disappointed faces when you're all over him.
You were hesitant to wear such a short skirt to the party at Buck's, but Dallas was quick to reassure you.
"You look absolutely gorgeous. Good enough to eat, doll." He held you from behind as you gazed into your mirror. So it was settled. You wore the skirt.
Unfortunately, that meant you got stares.
One man in particular had been staring at you all night. At first, you thought you were imagining things, seeing him the corner of your eye, but you kept making eye contact with him. It was making you uncomfortable.
"That guy over there is staring at me." You whisper to Dallas, peeking over your shoulder at him.
Dallas tightens his arm around your waist. He looks in the direction you're looking. He makes eye contact with the man, causing the man to look away.
"I'll talk to him."
Only Dallas Winston doesn't "talk" to people who have pissed him off, and he's clearly pissed off. Now, you'd be happy to see this guy get slugged, but you really didn't want Dallas getting into a fight. So, you grab his hand when he starts to walk away.
"Dallas–"
"I'm just gonna talk to him, I promise." He squeezes your hand then pulls his away. He walks over the man and you lag slowly behind him, really hoping this doesn't end in violence.
Dallas approaches him. "Hey man, my girl doesn't like being stared at by creeps like you. I think should you cut it out."
The man scoffs. "Maybe she shouldn't dress like a that then. I can look if I'd like."
"She can dress how ever the hell she pleases, doesn't give you any right to watch her like a fucking creep."
Oh boy was he getting mad. You walk up behind him and put your hand on his shoulder. "Dal, it's not worth it, c'mon."
The man smirks at you. "Well, hello sweet cheeks."
Ew. "Excuse me?" You say at the same time Dallas's fist lands on his face.
Johnny Cade
Johnny trusts you mote than anyone he knows, so why was he so worried? Sure, you'd hung out with a friend for yours that happened to be a guy and didn't tell him, but that guy's just your friend, right? Well, he better be. Johnny knows that he should talk to you about it, but he's not sure how to bring it up. Luckily, you do one day while walking through the park with him.
"Last weekend I went to see this movie, Viva Las Vegas, that new one with Elvis in it, with my friend Aaron. It was just okay." You say.
He hesitates then asks, "Who's Aaron?"
"My friend." You say simply.
A faint smile appears on his face from your answer. "Well, yeah, but who is he? Why're you going to the movies with him?" He feels awkward asking.
You can tell what he's thinking about, and you feel a bit guilty for making him worry. "Oh, it's nothing bad, I swear. Me, him, and this girl, Margaret– we were all three going to go together, but Margaret never showed. We learned on Monday that she'd been sick."
"Oh," he nods. "I mean, I don't really mind that you're hanging out with a guy alone. If it was Soda or Steve or Ponyboy, ya know, I wouldn't care. It's just cause I don't know him, that's all."
"Yeah." You pause then smile. "You were jealous." You tease as you take hold of his arm.
"I'm wasn't–" He pauses and looks at you. He sighs, "I was worried about you. I trust you, but I can't trust people I've never met."
You think quietly for a moment, then make a suggestion. "How about, next time we make plans, I'll ask if you can come, so you can meet him."
He smiles and nods. "Okay, that sounds perfect, sweetheart, thank you." He slips his arm out from your grasp and instead puts in around your shoulders. He pulls you in, towards him, and places a kiss on your forehead.
An: idk why this took so long. Please leave me more requests! The more specific, the more fun!
#the outsiders fanfiction#the outsiders x reader#the outsiders 1983#the outsiders#dallas winston#dally winston#darry curtis#the outsiders dally#dallas winston x reader#johnny cade the outsiders#the outsiders darry#darry curtis x reader#darry curtis imagine#darrel curtis x reader#sodapop x reader#the outsiders sodapop#sodapop curtis#two bit matthews x reader#two bit the outsiders#two bit mathews#johnny cade x reader#johnny cade imagine#johnny cade fanfiction#the outsiders johnny#johnny cade#steve randle x yn#steve randle x reader#steve randle the outsiders#steve randle fluff#dally the outsiders
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Never the dark 7, 10 [dareth x Cyrus, it's not a pairing I've seen before and it humors me in a good way], and 11?
[ask meme]
YAAAY THANK YOUUU
7: Where did the title come from?
Bury Me Low by 8 Graves! I was listening to this song a LOT when conceptualizing the fic and I feel like the whole thing kinda describes Zane in the fic. In retrospect, I do kinda wish I had named it something smoother, I had a few ideas for what I might change it to (Inside the Dark, Forsaken Dark, and [redacted because i might be using it for another project teehee]) but I do like Never the Dark and I think i'll keep it lol
the funniest thing about this song is that I played it so much I got sick of it and now I wont listen to it
If I die today, it won't be so bad I can escape all the nightmares I've had All of my angry and all of my sad Gone in the blink of an eye I've seen the devil. I've shaken his hand I've seen the evil that dwells in a man For all of my wisdom, I can't understand ...... If I die today, it won’t be so hard Everything scares me, but never the dark
youtube
10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?
Polyninja because I love them and the fucked up relationship dynamic post zanedeath called to me.
Pixal/Skylor has always been awesome but I included it here specifically because of how I view their character actions in the three year time skip. Skylor joins the ninja a few month after Zane dies and despite the fact that they don't harbor any ill will towards her, Zanes absence is a fresh wound that it feels like she's trying to step into. It makes everyone bleed. No one is coping well and things get messy and tense between skylor, the ninja, and pixal until Skylor has a mental breakdown and removes herself from the team (trauma response due to the nature of how her father raised her.) Skylor was never part of the team- she's not been there from the beginning, so she's an outsider. And so is Pixal. (Not intentionally of course, but the others share a different kind of grief that the two don't.) Cyrus eventually convinced Pixal to go to therapy where she gets some clarity on things and reaches out to Sky to apologize again for any role she played in the teams tension with her. She invites Skylor over for dinner and they accidentally end up talking for 6 hours- and the rest is history
(Skylor IS on good terms with the ninja btw. they apologized and hashed things out- but she won't rejoin the team for a lot of different reasons.)
Coppershipping my beloved. new-ish in the ficverse! They were starting to be more friendly with eachother after zanedeath, and that progressed post s11. Dareth took his grief at losing Zane as motivation to get in better shape and actually try and train, so he hits the gym and puts on a lot of muscle. takes up boxing. He wants to be able to do more to help if something happens again. He ends up putting his new skills to use protecting Cyrus from something or another and Cyrus asks him to be his bodyguard. They spend a lot of time together and fall in love teeheehee
also, fun fact for you, Dareth handmade all the ninja suits they wear in NTD!
11: What do you like best about this fic?
oh man. Is it bad to say the fact that it's almost finished? I'm just really proud I've been able to stick with it and put in the time and effort. I've got a pretty spotty track record with chaptered work- i lose motivation and drop things a lot, unfortunately. But i'm still dedicated to finishing NTD!
and im really proud of the wordcount! 100k!!!!!!! WAOW
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can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest
like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!
#me.txt#jjba#i'm going to ramble in tags actually. excuse me#ok. rereading sdc and so confused at the general perception of jotaro and his friends/family. he's not NEARLY as flat or as dickish#i understand that the anime (particularly the dub) tends to slander him but even then he still clearly cares for them! i'm confused#i also understand that a lot of people dig against jotaro and kakyoin as a dynamic because 'they're popular' and that generally disliking#popular things across media is a thing that i've seen consistently everywhere but the discredit to them simply as a DUO and not even as a#pairing is so..... odd..... like they're considered to be a duo that clicks for a reason. i enjoyed them even before i got into the fandom#every time i see someone say jotaro is overrated/dull i take a shot and assume they're an anime-only or only read the manga like once btw#joseph and jotaro also have a neat dynamic and they obviously both love and care for each other. like they're not going to go around loudly#or anything but literally the entirety of the lovers and the prelude to the dio fight IS jotaro being worked up over joseph getting hurt#equally i don't know if it translates to the anime as much but joseph is VERY complimentary when it comes to jotaro. like he sings his#praises so often and reminds everyone that he's his grandson so frequently (d'arby the gamer is a good example of this). either way it's so#peculiar....... there's not enough avdol and jotaro content btw (also in canon) because jotaro obviously looks up to him and avdol jokes#around with him on the occasion they interact after their intro which doesn't start very well. it's very cute#i do think an important thing to note about jotaro's character is how he acts AFTER his intro because he's so drastically different. early#jotaro and later jotaro aren't the same character and i do not mean this in a character development way. excluding the jail incident he's#completely different and probably shouldn't really be taken into account (especially considering the amount of slapstick in araki's intros)#and i think that's really???? what people center on for his character? Which sucks balls bad!#anyways. i could ramble more about this if asked i have so much to say but sigh. jotaro cares so much for his friends and family he's not a#flat fully cold asshole character regardless of whether you watch the anime or ova or read the manga. you just have poor media literacy#i wouldn't recommend watching solely the anime for his character though. the dub also changes a lot so it's... questionable#i love the anime and it's still important for him though. also adds neat stuff. i need to stop myself. i have many thoughts on the matter#jotaro kujo#joseph joestar#noriaki kakyoin#adding in case anyone sees: i am not saying that he is perfect about this. in fact he is very ass about it with jolyne and holly and that's#very important. he also is in fact an asshole sometimes. NOT as much as you guys are making him though!#please don't get me started on how much of a dick etc people make kakyoin to veer away from the 'woobified' characterizations of him#in fact i think that's bad if not worse because it CLAIMS to be in character. hes a prim asshole at times but not that angry or dishevelled
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day 23 aka THE COUNTDOWN IS OVER - jungsu's past birthday brrrr ppoppos
#xdinary heroes#jungsu#kim jungsu#jun han#junhan#jooyeon#gunil#ode#gaon#han hyeongjun#lee jooyeon#goo gunil#oh seungmin#kwak jiseok#jungsu23#forfreddy#HAPPY BIRTHDAY! may you have a lovely one with many kisses ♥#(ugh i was worried they'd stop this tradition and i would have been so sad about it. but now they HAVE to keep going ♥)#it's time for another concert story. or rather post-concert story.#so i did this photo thingie but when it was over and we walked out....... i completely forgot to look at the guys. i had my head down#(it was all so fast and i was struggling carrying my stuff so i didn't pay attention to .... well paying attention)#but then i walked past jungsu and i could FEEL him looking at me. his look was so intense and i don't mean this in a delulu way#this isn't me claiming we were meant to be. it's about him and he's got this.... presence. this aura. and it's very captivating#and intense (in a good way) and i was SO impressed and i still think about it#and what it was like when the other members met him for the first time (especially shy hyeongjun)#now to my more general impression. i feel like he's very intense overall? like he can probably get really angry and really bitchy#but he also loves intensely. and he loves his bois so much and cares about them so much#and i'm so glad he found a group where it fits so well. where he's one of the oldest and he can take care of the younger ones....#but also there's a leader who isn't an autocrat - who needs support too who doesn't want to carry all the weight on his own#who's willing to share the burden. and jungsu is right there at gunil's side without judging him. he's just very lovely and ♥♥♥ hbd jungsu
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I really prefer the idea that Morpheus and Melinoe were on Kronos's side, not because they wanted more for themselves, but because they wanted more for Hades, for each other, for the underground family they love.
Like, they don't care much for their grandfather, and they already have put together a plot to destroy him, but first Olympus needs to be shattered to the ground. All those annoying heavenly gods who look down on them eviscerated from the earth. Blasted back to the stars and universe that created them. Never to return.
Then the Underworld will finally be free to rise, free to roam, free to exist without scrutiny, without fear. Never to be belittled or pushed aside again.
#happy talks pjo#like do you think they envy the egyptians and how death is revered over there - or at least it was in the days of the ancients#the underworld is such an important part of ancient egyptian customs and then there's the grecian world and they're just. irritated.#they could be more. they ARE more. but the upper world and it's stupid heavenly gods despise the dirt and shadows so they're not allowed#they have to pretend they're lesser so the others don't get scared#they watch hades be granted a seat once a year like it's some kind of honor to be seated among the rest of them#and in the end what do they do - ignore him until he gets angry. then they cower like sheep. oh the wrath of hades they whimper.#this is why we keep you far away their eyes huff. because you're dangerous and deadly and unseemly#and it's not true and they're tired of people insisting on it. the underworld is beautiful it is necessary it is good#and since they refuse to understand that there is no other choice but to make them#and what better way than to introduce them to the purpose of the underworld firsthand#god i be rambling so much in my tags don't i
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Yeeeah. My ass is not built for artfight. Sorry
#I say I'll be productive and make stuff and then I. don't.#it's something I feel guilty about but I wasn't expecting to get ANON HATE for it lmao#i don't think I'll delete my acc cause I have a bunch of stuff there... maybe I'll just move it to unvale#you're not wrong anon but. then again. it's just a game#when people join they should know they might not get a response#i don't think it's good for you to get so angry over what this other person is or isn't doing#but yeah. the comment part.#I have some attacks I have the sketches for. and I'm procrastinating on finishing them haha 💧#I'm responding to this ask but I'm turning off anon because anon hate is still stupid#you could have told me this off anon without the need to be hateful. but i don't think that's what you wanted when you started typing
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I miss the epilogue celebration party from the other games, and seeing what each decision branched out to be at the end, and the little hints at the companions' lives after it all ends....
#the lack of a party stings they were such a nice way to end the game#and the epilogue slides in Veilguard are just... very vague and barely change based on what choices you make#partly because this game is shorter and doesn't have as many choices#and partly because the choices just... don't matter as much as they did in the other games#Rook has very little agency it feels like iunno#I do hope the team gets to make a dlc or two and you know#actually get to /make/ the story they wanted to tell#instead of having to butcher their story over and over for idiot management who have no idea why this series was so beloved#ah well#Neve romance was darling that was very enjoyable#and punching Solas!!!! ah!! that was amazing 10/10 glad I got to do it at least once#my HoF!Kid Rook is going to lie her ass off to him about the dagger when I pick her back up so I can see the trifecta#canon world state is Solas makes the right choice ofc because like I Get It#but I think Rook did deserve to punch him in every timeline and universe y'know for catharsis#less bitter taste the second time around but I think I'm just... more tired and disappointed than angry#I feel so bad for the team they did such a good job with what they had#DAV Posting
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you ever miss your comfort character so bad you gotta go outside about it
#idk i've been pretty stressed that's probably why i randomly got rly sad abt it#and by it i mean the uh. gestures vaguely at fandom i guess#either nobody's there or it feels like i'm not exactly welcome. or both! which tough shit i'mma take up the space regardless but like#this weird sense of elitism I get in a space that's built by and nurtured by people whose MO is 'caring a lot' is.. hm.. interesting#idk just got reminded this morning that some people view critique as a free pass to drag a creator through the mud#when what you SHOULD be doing is uplifting them so that they can improve and reach their maximum potential. you clown. you absolute buffoon#it wasn't targeted at me or anything it just made me so angry/sad. smad. i'm smad about it#i just get hit with a wave of what's the point. what's the fucking point nobody cares abt things made with passion for the love of the game#we don't have time/it's not good enough/it doesn't matter/it's been done better/why x when we have y#and you know what fair enough everyone's entitled to their own emotional responses of course.#if you think your opinion is reason enough to tear it down then we're gonna have to agree to disagree on that one i think#just keep in mind that you could have loved what they made. other people could have loved it. it could have changed something for someone.#i personally know artists and have worked with artists who have put so so much effort into making something work over and over and over#only to have no audience and get back up saying guys let's give this just one more try.#hell back in the day I was an accomplished writer kid who was told that you may be good but nobody gives a fuck#artists who use up all these resources just to bring something new into the world and nobody's looking. what's the point. what's the point#anyway. i'm gonna go wade through the snow for a bit maybe sink my bare hands into it you guys want anything#started the post thinkin abt my blorbos ending it crying putting my shoes on alright I'm going I'm GETTING the FRESH AIR fuck off#i'll be god once i've gotten a bottle of coke and some mozzarella sticks. wait am i pmsing. fuck#god i hate that i don't drink sometimes.
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I just had the horrible thought that I need to fall in love because having devastating crushes on beautiful, competent, authoritative women that I desperately want to please is exhausting and I need it to stop
#this one is straight so there's no room for delusion which is good#but my burning need to be her most favorite is eating me from the inside#it IS making me better at my job though#.......i mean i think so but what the fuck do i know#on friday night amongst the grueling psychosexual chaos that ensued a very smart guy that I LOVE said to me#i have no doubts you're gonna be a great psychiatrist actually#i traded a month with him to have another month with her#he's a phenomenologist she's a psychodynamic....ist? rival theories#I don't like most of psychodynamic theory.......so far#but i love the way she works and i can see how well it fits with her manymanyMANY patients and goddamnit i love personality dosorders#so i made the choice to go with her yes and im very torn casue i LOVE that guy and i wish i could become his friend like my bff from my year#also.......kind of dumb of me since I'd only soend two days a week woth her and the other three with very scary ladies#but I've been in scarier situation i can manage#and god when she praises me (silently obv she's only been forward about my merit ONCE and i almost pissed myself like an overexcited dog)#the endorphin rush is........man#but yes i need to work on this.......idk how to define it. closest i can get to explaining it is professional sub space#with strong aspects of praise kink#pathetic is what it is really#but hey if it makes me study harder who fucking cares right#I'm gonna be the smartest most intuitive fucking bitch amongst my peers so if I can't have her (them) carnally then goddamnit#I'LL HAVE THEIR PRAISE AND RESPECT AND ADMIRATION AT LEAST#........I'll be normal again in a week or two i just need to get over these next couple of days of....idk. inflammation i guess#yeah it's just like an infected wound right now#angry red throbbing hot pain#i know the drill it'll be better in a couple of days you just need to not freak out and let it do its thing#it's nice to be mature-r about emotional impulsivity and the shame that comes after an episode of deregulation#it really doesn't have to be a big deal even while it still feels like it#it still hurts but it's like......hour three of a tattoo. it's a bitch but you know it's gonna be over eventually and wriggling won't work#the only thing left to do is enjoying it all while it's happening or trying to#I don't think I'm doing a great job but what're you gonna do right
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I'm starting to think the reason I'm not as good of a writer as I want to be is because I like writing more than I like reading.
#which isnt to say i dont like to read#but i find it so difficult to get interested in new fiction#why would i bother reading stories other people wrote when i could just write mine?#i don't have this issue reading nonfiction ive been so into nonfiction#and i feel like THAT has helped me write better just by teaching me about more things so i can make worlds make more sense#but one time i told somebody i was writing a story that's kind of a zombie apocalypse but for plants and they said#'oh that's exactly like this other book' (i forget the name) 'you should read that one!'#and it made me unreasonably angry#i don't care abt someone else's story with a vaguely similar concept. i care abt mine.#and i know this makes me seem like an asshole and i probably am for this specific thing#but i read every book i could get my hands on as a child#and then as soon as i was able to write my own stories that stopped being the case#like all that reading was just training me to do what i can do now#and i think if i could just get over my disinterest in other ppl's fiction books and start practicing deconstructing what makes a good stor#i would start improving my writing more#and short stories! fuck. i hate reading other ppl's short stories unless they're written by friends#but as im starting to submit my short stories to publishing magazines n stuff#im realizing i'll have a better chance of getting published if i read the other stuff those mags have posted before#and write what they want to have submitted. but then it's not necessarily what *i* want to write. u know?#i don't know how to fix this fundamental problem of me preferring writing over reading#(and this applies to fanfic too btw. i hardly ever seek out fic to read unless a friend sends it to me. and often i like it when they do!#but not as much as i like writing or reading my own writing.)#just why would i READ when i could be WRITING and writing is so much more FUN
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i don't read enough loz fic to know what the popular fanon is so maybe this already exists but there should be a revali and zelda besties agenda i think it would be good for them
#loz#botw#zelda#revali#i will be posting tonight like the champions never died#anyway just decided this. I think they would've initially bonded over having the same issue with link#cause they both initially don't like him bc they both view him as having had his destiny handed to him basically#while they work and work and work and still feel that they aren't seen as good enough#and then I think the fact that revali is really abrasive would be appealing to zelda tbh#cause she's a princess and often very composed in most of the memories she's having to sort of suppress a lot of her emotions#like she obviously gets very loud and angry with link but I really don't think that's her normal behavior#I think she does that both cause obviously he's the person it's easiest to pin all her frustration on#but ALSO because he's the only one she really CAN yell at. the people she's frustrated at are her 1. her dad#2. herself. and 3. link. other people around her would seem generally blameless for The Situation#she can't yell at her dad there's only so much you can do about hating yourself and no one ever wants to acknowledge that you hate yourself#you'd rather just hate someone else. and link is the easiest target of the three#and then on top of that link is generally very unreactive which pisses her off to no end initially#BUT does make yelling at him a thing with no consequences#anyway that was long winded but what I'm saying is that zelda is a person surrounded by very composed people#who has to be very composed herself. link being the one exception. but she's so angry and sad all the time#and not often able to vent her frustrations#BUT revali is so abrasive and rude like I think if zelda was friends with him it would be a great bitch4bitch moment#and then on revali's end like I think zelda would be SO fascinated in the science behind his flying technique#and he'd fucking preen at that he'd love it he'd be like she hates that twink too AND she appreciates my skill. ideal bestie material#and he doesn't seem like a very spiritual person. bird. bird person. so while I definitely don't think he's THE ONLY person#telling zelda “hey you don't need to be doing this much praying your other contributions are good also”#it's still always good for zelda to have more people in her corner#and I do think he'd acknowledge the skill she has in other areas bc it's something she worked hard on I think he'd do that#realizing 90 percent of that was “why zelda needs revali as a bff” and not the other way around#always thinking of my girl exclusively it's true. never beating the zeldapilled allegations
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So a few months ago there was the discourse about would you rather meet a man or a bear in the woods. I didn't want to touch it while the discourse was hot and everyone dug in hard because those are not good conditions for nuance, but I waited until today, June 1st, for a specific reason.
I'm not going to take a position in the bear vs man debate because I don't think it matters. What is really being asked here is how afraid are you of men? Specifically, unexpected men who are, perhaps, strange.
People have a lot of very real fear of men that comes from a lot of very real places. Back when I was first transitioning in 2015 and 2016, I decided to start presenting as a woman in public even though I did not pass in the slightest.
I live in a red state. I knew other trans women who had been attacked by men, raped by men. I knew I was taking a risk by putting myself out there. I was the only visibly trans person in the area of campus I frequented, and people made sure I never forgot that. Most were harmless enough and the worst I got from them was curious stares. Others were more aggressive, even the occasional threat. I had to avoid public bathrooms, of course, and always be aware of my surroundings.
I know how frightening it is to be alone at night while a pair of men are following behind you and not knowing if they are just going in the same direction or if they want to start something - made all the worse for the constant low level threat I had been living under for over a year by just being visibly trans in a place where many are openly hostile to queer people. You have to remember, this was at the height of the first wave of bathroom law discussions, a lot of people were very angry about trans women in particular. My daily life was terrifying at times. I was never the subject of direct violence, but I knew trans women who had been.
I want you to keep all that in mind.
So man or bear is really the question "how afraid of men are you?", and the question that logically follows is "What if there was a strange man at night in a deserted parking lot?" or "What if you were alone in an elevator with a man?" or "What if you met a strange man in the woman's bathroom?"
My state recently passed an anti trans bathroom bill. The rhetoric they used was about protecting women and children from "strange men", aka trans women.
Conservatives hijack fear for their bigoted agenda.
When I first started presenting as a woman the campus apartment complex was designed for young families. The buildings were in a large square with playgrounds in the center, and there were often children playing. I quickly noticed that when I took my daughter out to play, often several children would immediately stop what they were doing and run back inside. It didn't take me long to confirm that the parents were so afraid of "the strange man who wears skirts" that their children were under strict instructions to literally run away as soon as they saw me.
"How afraid are you of a strange man being near your children?"
I mentioned above that I had to avoid public bathrooms. This was not because of men. It was because of women who were so afraid of random men that they might get violent or call someone like the police to be violent for them if I ever accidentally presented myself in a way that could be interpreted as threatening, when my mere presence could be seen as a threat. If I was in the library studying and I realized that it was just me and one other woman I would get up and leave because she might decide that stranger danger was happening.
Your fear is real. Your fear might even come from lived experiences. None of that prevents the fact that your fear can be violent. Women's fear of men is one of the driving forces of transmisogyny because it is so easy to hijack. And it isn't just trans women. Other trans people experience this, and other queer people too. Racial minorities, homeless people, neurodivergent people, disabled people.
When you uncritically engage with questions like man or bear, when you uncritically validate a culture of reactive fear, you are paving the way for conservatives and bigots to push their agenda. And that is why I waited until pride month. You cannot engage and contribute to the culture of reactive fear without contributing to queerphobia of all varieties. The sensationalist culture of reactive fear is a serious queer issue, and everyone just forgot that for a week as they argued over man or bear. I'm not saying that "man" is the right answer. I am saying that uncritically engaging with such obvious click bait trading on reactive fear is a problem. Everyone fucked up.
It is not a moral failing to experience fear, but it is a moral responsibility to keep a handle on that fear and know how it might harm others.
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I can't stop thinking about Ghost being such a gentleman when your boyfriend is an ass....
warning: domestic abuse, adult language
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You were mortified that it happened at work this time...
Your boyfriend was a brute of a man, made worse over the months by drinking alone at night while you bartended to help pay down your student debts from several years ago. He got a little rough with you, but only when he was plastered. And you forgave him, because he was decent the rest of the time.
But suddenly you had to start coming to the pub to pull pints with a little extra makeup on your face. The random patrons out for a casual drink wouldn't have noticed, but your regular boys did. You only knew them by Ghost and Soap. They were military and mean looking, but they laughed together like teenage schoolmates. It was always a good night when they sat at the bar, but you could often feel their eyes on you.
"Y' alright, love?" Ghost asked the first night you wore extra eye makeup and a bright red lipstick.
"Yes," you told him, not meeting his eyes. Your face hurt. Your boyfriend had slapped you two days ago. Your skin was puffy and bruised, and you were embarrassed and afraid to move out, so you stayed. "You boys need another round?"
They left you a sizable tip. They always did.
The next time you saw them, your lip was split open, and you were desperate for a way out of the mess your life had turned into. Trying to hide your face while you mixed drinks was a chore, and as soon as Ghost and Soap arrived, you knew it was useless.
When Soap disappeared toward the washrooms, Ghost leaned across the bar, his hulking shoulders taking up more than their fair of space, making you smile slightly. His voice was deep and soft, but his words made you shiver and freeze with your hand on a pint glass. "Y' know, a pretty little thing like you belongs on a pedestal. A man should touch you with reverence."
You stared at him silently as his eyes tracked the mark on your lip. When Soap returned, you didn't charge them a cent for their drink, but they tipped you well anyway.
When a confrontation happened at the bar, tears stung your eyes, and you wanted to hide. Your boyfriend was drunk and angry, and tonight he beckoned you from behind the bar to a dark corner near the hallway where he could have some privacy while he berated you and roughed you up.
"Please," you begged, running your hands nervously on your shirt. "Just go home. I'll be off work in an hour."
"How many of them have you fucked?"
"What?" you gasped, thinking he'd finally lost it. "What are you talking about? I need to get back to work."
He pushed you up against the wall with his other hand on your jaw. "How many of the men here tonight have you fucked?" His thumb brushed the spot on your lip that was nearly healed, and you flinched. "You have the guiltiest expression. So, tell me how much of a slut you've been. As your boyfriend, I need to keep you in line."
Then he was being hauled away from you as your legs shook. With wide eyes, you watched Ghost's massive bicep wrap around his neck like it was nothing. "Y' alright, love?" he asked you softly, and you nodded without saying a word. Then his face darkened, and his voice was an angry snarl as he told your boyfriend, "Ya' been relieved of your duties."
"The fuck?" he responded from his headlock, gasping for air.
Ghost sighed and rolled his eyes. "Fuckin' prick don't even know military protocol." Then he raised his voice a little louder. "I said, ya' been relieved of your duties. I'll take over from here."
Somehow, you found your voice. "Take over?"
Ghost's face softened again when he looked at you there against the narrow hallway wall. "With the boyfriend duties," he told you while Soap dragged your ex-boyfriend toward the exit. "Sound good, love?"
He was holding out his big paw of a hand, palm facing up, and you knew he'd be incapable of using it to hurt you. The softness in his gaze right now and every time he looked at you was proof enough of that. You didn't respond, but you smiled as you slid your hand into his grasp.
"That'll do for now," he grunted.
That was the night you came to know him as Simon.
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Part two
#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon riley cod#ghost simon riley#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost x reader#simon riley imagine#simon ghost x you#ghost call of duty#ghost cod#ghost imagine#call of duty#ghost riley#call of duty x reader#cod x reader#ghost x reader#ghost x you#ghostsprincess
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God. what do you do when a lifelong friend just refuses to see any worth in themself or their skills even after you've tried to get them to see it for years. i want to help them but i'm tired. it hurts to see them so flippant about it. i'm angry and sad and nothing i do changes their mind and i feel like i'm running out of options and i'm scared that the only one left will be "leave them." i really don't want it to come to that. they mean a lot to me.
#friday chats#tw vent#feel free to ignore this post btw it's kind of a lot. and then i just keep going off in the tags.#dragged this and the previous tag up here as a barrier so y'all don't have to read the rest if you'd rather not#fucking hell. my day already wasn't great and now i'm crying over how nonchalantly they talk shit about themself#i tell them all the time that i love them and that they're good at what they do. and we have our high points#but then something like this happens and they don't see a thing wrong with how terribly they view themself#they're miserable almost all the time and i want them to feel better but i just don't know what to do anymore#sorry. this is a bit more personal than i usually get on here; even in my few other vent posts#it's just. it's been *years* now. and no matter how i beg them to be kinder to themself it never works#i want them to stop hurting. i want them to be okay.#i want them to stop brushing me off and understand they are *loved* and *talented* and *good* bc every time they don't i wind up like this#listening to angry music until i can think straight again#i muted their message notifs for the evening but looking at what they've sent since; they just. moved right on as if nothing happened.#i'm gonna fucking scream#and yes this post is absolutely tainted by the fact my chest hurts from the strength of ''why can't you understand that YOU HAVE WORTH''#this isn't representative of how they make me feel all the time#but it's like. every month and a half? two months? thereabouts. this same thing happens#and it pisses me off and i don't know what to do
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idk just thinking about seeing your lieutenant for the first time, this big giant dog of a man, and thinking to yourself, "hmmm yeah, i'm gonna make that thing mine." (18+)
like. i'm thinking about seeing him walk into the room for the first time. fresh off an op, still in all his gear. he's angry cause he's been awake off and on for 40 hours at this point, and he sinks down into a chair in the mess hall, and your eyes bug cause the chair fucking bends with his weight.
and you're just like "omg omg omg holy shit" cause this fucking brute is just huge and beefy, and you had no idea this was your type until you watched his hand curl around a cup and make it look miniature. and you're wondering like "fuck i bet those holsters are custom made" cause you don't think you've ever seen them stretch that far around someone's thigh.
ughghghghgh, and he's dumb as shit, too, or maybe he's just fucking blind. you give him every hint in the book, every indication of how you feel other than pasting a giant neon sign on your forehead that says "fuck me."
you wear the tightest cargo pants you can get. you let the buttons on your shirts go low whenever he's near. you make excuses to see him late, delivering him paperwork in the middle of the night, meeting him out for a smoke (and he's never seen you smoke anything), shuffling your way in front of him in line so you can bump into him and graze your ass against his front. he even catches you this way--even curls his hand around your waist and steadies you before letting you go impatiently.
fuck, bending over in front of him, the obnoxious giggling, the excuses to dangle your tits in his face. you want this man underneath you, on top of you, tangled around you and suffocating you with those enormous arms, and he barely side-glances at you whenever you're in his vicinity, and it's infuriating.
what do you have to do to reel this thing in? how many bones do you have to give him?
how many times do i have to flash my bra at you for you to fuck me over your desk?!
you can't eat another cherry in front of him. you can't drop more sauce onto your cleavage. you cannot come out of the showers in just a towel in front of him anymore because you're going to lose your fucking mind--
you even made out with his beloved little sergeant, his favorite little know-it-all that can't stop blowing shit up. that blue-eyed, insufferable, yapper of a scot that kisses all wet, with teeth, who pants like a puppy when he asks if he can 'ave a taste of y'r bonnie cunt, please, please, please--
and you say yes, because maybe he'll finally fucking shut up if you drown him between your thighs and never let him come up for air.
face down, ass up, cargos around your ankles, hips pushing past against that puppy's stubble as he devours you on his knees. his big hands spread your ass for him, and his thumbs flick over your folds as he opens you up, a cackle leaving him before he opens his mouth wide and kisses your pussy all sloppy and uncoordinated.
when the door swings open and hits the wall with a bang, the puppy tries to leave. he tries to move, but you reach back and grip his mohawk, scowling as you shove his face back where it belongs as your lieutenant stands at the door and heaves with anger.
"uh uh," you snap, and your sergeant on his knees whines, his blue eyes a little foggy and wet as he blinks up at you. but he complies, his tongue slurping, and you flutter your lashes at your lieutenant as you keep johnny muzzled in your cunt. "sorry, lieutenant. is this your office? must've read the sign wrong."
you reel from the contact. a big hand grips you by the hair, slamming you down against his desk, and you choke as you try and gasp for air. like a good boy, johnny settles where he is, shoving his tongue down your hole and moaning low when he realizes you're dripping down his chin now that his lieutenant has you.
"y'think this is funny, eh?" ghost mutters in your ear. "y'think i don't know wot y'r doin'? think i 'aven't caught on, think i 'aven't noticed wot a fuckin' insatiable bloody pain in my arse you've been ever since y'got 'ere?!"
you whimper, relaxing against the desk, and ghost tugs at your hair again, shaking his head.
"oi! y'don't get to be stupid just because y'r gettin' y'r cunny played with," ghost snaps. "y'r a right headache."
you laugh, getting up to your elbows, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as ghost scruffs johnny by the base of his mohawk and cups your pussy with one big hand. you gasp, leaning your head back, because finally, yes, it's all i want, please, please, please--
"'f you wanted to be my pet so bad," ghost murmurs, fitting himself behind you, leaning over your shoulder as he spits into your ear, "all ya had to do was fuckin' ask, swee'eart."
when your eyes open, ghost hums, clicking his tongue under the mask.
"use y'r words," he growls. "be a good girl, and say wot it is y'want."
"want you," you whine, and he sighs deeply, closing his eyes, and you drown out the sounds of johnny sputtering at your feet as ghost bends you at the hip a little more, arching your back.
"mmm...tha'sit. was tha' so hard?"
#idk what this is#but i saw a pic of ghost and i had to be gross about him for a couple hundred words sorry#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost mw2#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#ghost mwii#ghost x reader#cod#call of duty#simon riley smut#simon ghost riley smut#simon thoughts#ghoap x reader
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