#i don't think it's a case of not knowing what you're doing if this PA did not ask permission before accepting a private preclaim on...

[pocket-pal-salt]

They demoted the person who posted that WIP of an adopt that got anonymously preclaimed. I really do not think that the mods or the owners know what they're doing... They should have rules set for this type of thing me thinks. Do not post this if it isn't anonymous!

ミ★

[luveline]

Hi Jade! I’ve been on my criminal minds rerun and it made me come up with this Spencer request if you’re taking them right now! Something along the lines of the reader and Spencer being together and she becomes pregnant but he pieces it together before she does!

tysm for requesting! hope this is ok♡ 1k

cw fem!reader has a positive attitude towards her pregnancy. vaguely adult theme

"I really don't think I can go," you say, flopping down on the bed. 

Spencer laughs and shakes out the shirt in his hands, hoping the creases from the dryer will iron themselves before dinner tonight. "You always say that."

"I really mean it this time. I miss Hotch, I do, and I'm glad he's out of WITSEC, but thinking about the restaurant is making me queasy." 

"Really? I looked it up, it's a nice place. They have their Grade A, it should be spotless in there. I'm pretty sure they almost got a Michelin star." 

You groan, turning onto your side. "I looked too. The entire menu is seafood," you whine. 

"What's wrong with that?" Spencer asks, giving you a quizzical look. 

"The smell." You rub your nose against his pillow and sigh. "I don't feel good. Didn't rough me up in my sleep, did you?" 

"I would never do that," he says, putting the last of the laundry aside to sit by your hip. His hand rests naturally against the slight curve of your side, fingertips pushing the hem of your shirt up enough to steal a glance at your back. 

He wouldn't say this aloud and it doesn't matter, but you've gained a little weight recently. Actually, it does matter in that he thinks it's adorable, but he knows that telling your partner they've gained weight is a faux pas. He likes it, anyhow. It's happy weight. 

Things are so serious now but they don't feel serious. There's no solemness in your relationship, just comfort. He's putting on weight in tandem. 

"You really don't want to go?" Spencer asks. The earlier he lets Hotch know the better. 

You wrap an arm around your stomach. "Sorry, Spence. I'm so sorry, I've felt sick all day and I think it'll just be a repeat of yesterday morning." You puked before breakfast, the smell of eggs too much to bear.

Spencer feels it click into place then and there. The weight, the puking, your changing taste. Your sore chest and lower back, your sensitivity. 

He pushes you gently, a hand on your hip to encourage you down. Careful, he lays down next to you, propping his head on the pillow as he brings hand up to hold you. He can't know for sure… but if you're pregnant as he suspects, it fits. And more than that, it's insane. He doesn't know how to handle this besides wrapping you up in his arms. He'll keep you forever, if he can. 

"Don't be sorry," he says, his voice faraway. You relax completely in his arms, sliding your leg over his to lock him in. "Does your back still hurt?" 

"My chest, Spence," you lament, "it feels like I'm winded. I think I'm coming down with something. Maybe you shouldn't be near me." 

"In that case, I'm staying right here." 

You laugh softly, the warmth of it a circle on his shoulder. "I can call Hotch myself and say sorry. I'll feel better in a few days, and we'll reschedule, and I'll pay even if he tries to." 

Spencer draws a line up your back. Now or never. 

He steels his nerves, the beginning of a hypothesis hesitating on his tongue. Your symptoms in addition to your irregular period and your regular sex lives points toward pregnancy. How does he say that? How should he say it? Should he even bring it up? Perhaps he should wait until you discover it yourself. And you aren't definitely pregnant, it's just a possibility. Maybe you're simply sick—

"Hey, earth to handsome," you whisper, cupping his cheek in your soft palm. You smile as he snaps out of his thoughts. "Hey. I lost you for a few seconds, where'd you go?" 

"Nowhere. I'm here." 

Your smile gets impossibly fond. It's not dissimilar to how you usually look at him. "Are you okay?" 

"Fine. I love you." 

"I love you," you say. 

There's something about you now, this gaussian blur to you. Sunlight seeps in lazily through the blinds thick as honey, a golden kiss to your skin where you lay face to face with him, and your I love you makes him want to cry. This is all ridiculous and amazing and he doesn't know what to do, doesn't know how to make his mouth move into the right words. 

"What is it?" you ask. You know him better than anyone. 

"I think you're pregnant." Spencer winces, though he can't beat his smile into submission. "I mean. You could be pregnant." 

"Why do you think that?" you ask, visibly startled. 

"Your sensitivity to strong smells, your soreness, your late period, to name the more obvious. That's not factoring in your worsening low iron lately, and your headaches." You make a strange sound he doesn't like. "What?" he asks worriedly.  

"I'm late," you say into yourself, looking past him as you puzzle it over. 

"It's a good thing, if you are. I mean, it's an amazing thing if you want it to be. I'm saying everything wrong. It's only amazing if you want it to be, I want it to be. But I'm on your side no matter what." He grimaces into his hands, rubbing his face with both palms. 

You sit as he panics. He clicks his neck looking up, racing to follow you, alarmed as you shimmy down the bed toward the ensuite bathroom. 

"What are you–" 

"I'm gonna take a test." 

"Wait a second." Spencer catches your hands before you can get too far, pulling you back to the end of the bed to sit down. "Wait. Is it– is it bad? If you are?" 

You look down at your stomach briefly. Anyone else might miss it, but Spencer can't not follow your behaviour, and the way you're acting now makes him think he got it wrong. That you won't be happy. 

You grab Spencer's hand. "You know, it's not funny. All our friends are gonna ask how I found out, and I'm gonna have to admit that you noticed it first." Your eyes track up his face almost shyly, and soon your smile is as blistering as his. 

Spencer bends under your weight as you jump up, throwing your arms behind his neck, your lips smashed to his ear. "I love you," you whisper urgently, "so much. This is good, right? This is really good." 

"Are you kidding?" he asks incredulously. 

Spencer takes your face into two hands and kisses you as hard as he ever has. He realises a second in that he'd much rather be squeezing you, caging you into the circle of his arms unrepentant. 

"We have a really good excuse to miss dinner," Spencer says.

He sounds close to tears. You're worse, laughing wetly as you pull him into the bathroom to take your test. 

[azure-cherie]

Some astro observations pt:4🧡

It's been a year I have done an observations post ☠️ I hope you guys enjoy this one 💟

In case you want a reading :

Paid readings, paid readings 2 , masterlist

🍊 Combust or retrograde Venus can be cured through worship of Devi , respecting women and general and treating yourself well . Whereas combust mercury can be cured through practicing mathematics. Combust Saturn through practicing more routines.

🍊 Rahu synastry makes you delusional true but ketu synastry is even more delusional you will feel a sense of familiarity with the person you have the synastry with but soon you will realise oh it was all play and eventually the ketu person will actually start hating the moon person .

🍊 I think purva bhadrapada is he sign of sati as when sati was born on earth to be wife of Shiva only the expansiveness of purva bhadrapada could make her realise her true potential as mahadevi herself how she's nature and everything that truly exists in the cosmos . Likewise purva bhadrapada expands their horizons to realise their true purpose . I found some purva bhadrapada prominence in her media depiction of sati as well .

🍊 Purva bhadrapada are also truly sweet and kind people who have so much intelligence but it stays hidden for the early part of their life .

🍊 Purva Ashadha as a young girl or a maiden is often envied by her peers for being pretty , use protective things as a means to protect from evil eye , PA is associated with liver and evil eye can cause bumps in the face or skin disease .

🍊 Shravana girls have the quite confidence, they're genuinely bubbly but it's hidden in the quite girl interior, they know who they are and are constantly working on themselves.

🍊 With pisces placements in a man's chart one can have a good balance between the masculine and the feminine energy, I have generally seen pisces creating a nice atmosphere for their wives or the girls they love . They enjoy cooking and also get a lot of girl friends around them who trust them .

🍊 Gemini guys in general are the most confused people though girls can be assertive or be quickly change the men are just diplomatic about everything.

🍊 Vishakha women have the tridosha of kapha , which makes them effective in transforming their body fast .

🍊 I've seen that you might attract the sign of your 7th house but mostly it doesn't work out 💀 rather the sign in your 12th house works better , the chemistry is unbeatable and they treat you so well . Even in my case Taurus is my 12th house 💀 Taurus men be spoiling me 👑

🍊 Sun moon synastry is so passive agressive

🍊 Your atmakaraka can provide you insights on which Devi you should worship , for example if mars go for some ugra Devi like Kali , Durga etc . They can prove to be your ishtha or kuldevi please note that to find one's ishtha /kuldevi more things are to be considered.

🍊 Sun in the 10th house gives one fame but makes one work hard asf , when you're at the verge of giving up that's when true fame comes in to save you being the house of Saturn .

🍊 Jupiter in 3rd makes one materialistic they were the kids that were obsessed with new toys and gadgets as it generally makes one fidgety, also they were fulfilled in their wants for toys .

🍊 Combust mars in a girls chart overworks themselves because they feel a lack of vitality, they don't know where to exactly put efforts or what to do to make themselves feel better. Combust mars in a man's chart has the delusion of being masculine when in turn they do nothing to nourish their essence , true help in this case can be attained through puja in Tuesdays of Mangal Dev or Hanuman .

🍊 Ketu and mars can give hidden anger issues and can cause anger outbursts like Taurus mars . One way to combat that is to donate blood .

🍊 Saturn in 1H should do atleast one thing they don't like to do but is Essential for them everyday as this position might show feeling inferior or uninterested in themselves the act of doing something for themselves makes them more confident.

🍊 Mercury in combust , 6th house gives skin problems .

🍊 Rohini isn't materialistic for money but for comfort .

Thank you so much for reading, have a great day/night 🧡

[reiderwriter]

🎱 Trust In Me When I Say 🎱

Chapter Four of That's What You Get

Pairing: Spencer Reid X Female Reader

Summary: What happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas, and now that you're back in Quantico, you and Spencer decide to seek some advice.

Warnings: none!

A/N: My laptop gave up on me tonight, so this one was typed out on my phone, just as the fanfiction gods intended. This one was fun to write, though, and I'm so excited for the next few chapters! Hope you enjoy it!

Check out the series masterlist and my general masterlist. Requests are closing in September for 1 month!

Spencer slept all the way back to Quantico, not once budging his hand from your leg or letting you know peace. You enjoyed the warmth of his hand between your legs, but masking your expressions after your original wake-up time was like working on a case all over again. 

You wished you could just curl up into his side and sleep again for another ten hours, still feeling the exhaustion of your night out. When the PA system pinged with an alert from the Pilot saying you were close to landing, you panicked slightly about how the hell you were going to get the man off of you. 

If you pushed his arm away, surely they'd see the movement under the blanket and think you had been doing something way less innocent than you had. If you just stood up and let his hand fall from your lap naturally, you'd be stuck awkwardly standing in your seat with nowhere to go. If you woke him up, there was no way of knowing how he would react. These thoughts chased each other around your brain the entire descent, while he slept on peacefully. 

Luckily, the landing seemed to wake him up naturally. Without a chance for second thoughts, you grabbed and squeezed his hand under the blanket, pushing it so it wouldn't move too much as he rose from his slumber. 

"Well, good morning, Spence," JJ laughed as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. 

"Looks like someone had a long, sleepless night. What was it? Got drunk and did some math for fun?" Emily teased. Your heart was jumping out of your chest now, praying that he wouldn't make any sudden movements and would realise the situation he'd gotten himself into. 

"Yeah, I guess it was a long one," he yawned out, finally moving to stretch his arms a bit when he realised the position they were in. He made a small jolt, the kind that you'd only know was a reaction if you were looking for it, and luckily, you didn't think either woman were. 

He turned his head to you, tracing his glance down his own arm, down to your lap, and pulling it back up to your face before sending you a questioning glance. He gently turned his hand over so it was facing palm up, and you held it in yours for a second. He squeezed it as if to ask what was going on but you shot him a look that said "don't ask," and thankfully he was able to understand you. 

"Hey, Y/N. How's your head today?" he asked, initiating the conversation so that your prolonged eye contact wouldn't be seen as suspicious. 

"Pounding. Uncomfortably. What the hell did I drink last night?" You let go of his hand now and bought the leg that he had been gripping desperately in his sleep up now, crossing it over the other. The movement was large enough to mask his hand, pulling away, and luckily, he did just that, taking the chance you gave him. 

"Three tequila shots, five high balls, six Long Island Ice Tea's, an ill-advised Jello shot from a promoter on the street and�� And after that your guess is as good as mine." You rolled your eyes at him. 

"Listen up, team, the Director has taken into account the hard work we've put in this last month and granted us some special leave. You're free for the next four days unless there's something urgent." Hotch announced from the front of the jet, letting you escape the eavesdropped conversation. 

You hung back as everyone exited the jet, still trapped into your seat by Spencer, who was taking his time moving and grabbing his stuff. 

"You two coming?" Rossi looked back at you, the last of the team to exit before you. 

"Yeah, if wonder boy ever gets his move on. We'll be right down," you answer for the two of you. Rossi nods and doesn't ask any follow-up questions, leaving the two of you alone on the jet. 

"What the hell was that?" You whisper-yell at him quickly, somehow still afraid of being overheard. 

"I'm sorry it wasn't intentional! How long was my hand…. down there?" You could see him blush as he asked, and you had to hold back a laugh, entertained by his meek reaction. 

"Practically the entire time you were asleep, Reid. God, I know we've grown closer in the last twenty-four hours, but you don't need to be attached to me physically, you know?" 

"It was an accident, I swear!" he moved away from the seat now, his hands coming up in a surrendered position. "Why didn't you push my hand off, we were under the quilt. They probably wouldn't have noticed."

"Because I remembered a certain somebody blabs in their sleep if they're moved or disturbed, and I didn't want to explain why you were saying my name in your sleep."

"Oh, you think I'd say your name, Y/N? Do you think I was dreaming about you?" he questions you, suddenly growing in the space, standing a little bit taller, more confidently. 

"Yeah, I just– I just assumed you were… YouYou had that vice grip on my thigh and…" you tried not to stutter, sending a stressed hand through your tousled hair. You had just assumed that his dreams had been similar to yours. That he'd wantes you so badly that, even in his sleeping state, he'd reached out for you unconsciously. 

"Y/N, if I was dreaming about you, I wouldn't be mumbling your name in my sleep," he said, matter-of-factly, grabbing his bags and making his way to the exit. You stood silently waiting for him to continue. 

"I'd probably call out for my good little girl instead," he smirked and quickly left before you had a chance to hurl the blanket in your hands at his head. 

–X– 

You quickly followed him down the steps after that and joined the rest of the team back at the bullpen to collect your things. Rossi and Hotch had retreated to their respective offices by the time you reached your desk, never ones for letting paid leave get in the way of them doing their jobs. Penelope had also practically sprinted back to her tech cave, and you could hear her cooing sounds as she checked in on her system. 

"Well, I, for one, am heading out." JJ spoke confidently, grabbing her car keys and making her way to the elevators. 

"I'm right there with you, blondie," Derek said, stretching out his arms. "Four days off does not sound bad right about now." 

"Are you coming, Y/L/N? Reid?" Emily asked, making her way to the elevator ahead of you. 

"I'm gonna finish up a case file so I don't have to worry about it when we get back," Spencer replied. 

"I'm gonna check up on Penelope before we leave, see if she needs a ride." She shrugs but doesn't question the two of you, and you wave them all off to the elevator. 

Once the doors are fully shut, you're left alone with Reid in the lobby. Putting his earlier teasing aside, you turn to him with a serious expression. 

"What do we do now? Surely we have to tell Hotch, right?" you ask, finally acknowledging your marriage outside of Vegas. 

"I don't know, I don't particularly want that lecture." 

"Yeah, he kind of just has a way of staring at you that makes you disappointed in yourself." You shudder at the thought.

"We have to start somewhere, though, right? And it's not like Hotch was one of our witnesses. He'd have sooner arrested us than let us do that." You mutter to yourself.

"What about Rossi?" Spencer poses the question to you, and you look directly up at him for a second. He has that look on his face that he gets on cases where his eyes glaze over, and you can see he's remembering important information that could be relevant.

"Rossi's third marriage was a Vegas marriage, and they separated pretty quickly. It might be useful to go to him first. At least we'll get no judgement." He looked up at you when he finished, his eyes soft with a hopeful look, desperate to see if he'd made a helpful suggestion.

"Yeah. Okay, let's go ask Rossi."

You made your way up the stairs quietly, doing your best to act natural. Luckily, Hotch's blinds were drawn, and he seemed deep in paperwork, so he didn't notice your unusual path.

Spencer led the charge and knocked on the office door quickly twice before opening it.

"Spencer, Y/N, I thought Aaron was clear when he said we had time off now. To what do I owe the pleasure?" He looked up at the two of you from his desk,and you awkwardly glanced at each other before turning back to him, unable to find the right words to say.

"That bad, huh?" He laughed up at you from his desk but still waited for you to talk.

You took the plunge first.

"We fucked up and we need your help,"  you blurted out quickly, unable to stop the rambling when it took hold. Rossi only raised a single eyebrow at you in question, so you powered on.

"We got super drunk last night and ended up at the marriage licence bureau and now we're legally married and we need your advice because this happened to you before, too, and we thought it might be helpful to ask you for your opinion on what we should do next." You hardly took a breath throughout,only cutting yourself off when Spencer grabbed your hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Well, I'll be damned," Rossi pushed himself back in his seat, looking upon the two of you with fresh eyes.

"I guess celebrations are in order, correct?" He chuckled as you squirmed under his stare.

"We just wanted to know what the best way to go about this is. Should we register the marriage with the bureau, let Hotchner know, that kind of thing?" Spencer managed to ask, his fingers entwined with yours and his thumb drawing small circles on the back of your hand. 

"Well, I can't say I'm surprised," was all Rossi offered from his desk, and you snapped your eyes back to his. "But I don't know what advice I can really offer you right now that doesn't come straight from the FBI Handbook, and I'm sure you have that memorised, right, kid?" 

"All interpersonal relationships must be reported to your direct supervisor or team leader. Failure to do so could lead to termination or suspension if it is deemed to negatively affect your work," Spencer approximated the official guidelines.

"Here's what I will say. Take some time with it, but only a week, tops. If your problem goes away in that time, perfect, nothing to worry about. If it doesn't, tell Aaron at least." 

"So tell Hotchner in a week that we're getting a divorce, great, thanks," you tried your best not to sarcastic but you were tired and you were stressed and the words had a mind of their own.

"Hey, what was that thing you said to me a while back, kid? You never know when you're going to get the chance to experience new things at your age?" He smirked up at Spencer, happy enough that he got to feed him that line back from the case you'd worked in Atlantic City.

"Give it a week and tell Aaron. I don't care what you tell him, but only a week, okay? Because if you don't, I will. I don't particularly want to acclimatise to your replacements when you're fired for not disclosing this."

You nodded your goodbyes to the man and swiftly exited his office, making your way back down to the bullpen.

"I think Rossi's right. We should wait and tell Hotchner after we've got this annulment thing finished. And we still have to figure out who our two witnesses are." You let out the sigh as you turned to face Spencer, quietly engaging him in conversation. 

"Yeah, that sounds good. How about you meet me at my place tomorrow and we can talk about details and get the ball rolling?" he asked, looking at you with hopeful eyes. "Maybe we could see if we can jog our memories a bit as well, I have a few books on memory loss that I've been meaning to read recently, I'll get through them tonight and maybe they'll have some tips to help us figure out what happened." 

"Yeah, yeah, perfect. It's a date!" The words left your mouth before you could stop them, and you had to stop yourself from instantly clapping a hand over your own mouth in surprise.

"Like an appointment, something scheduled, not like a… not like a date-date. You know what I mean." He laughed at you a little before looking side to side, checking if anyone was in the vicinity. When he saw that there was no one around, he stepped closer to you, closing the gap between the two of you, and placed a small soft kiss to your temple before moving away quickly.

"It's a date. I'll send you my address later, but for now, you should go check on Garcia. Keep up our cover story, right?" He began walking backwards to the elevator  having grabbed his bag while you were stood mouth slack in surprise. 

"Yeah, yeah, I'll go do just that. Bye."

"Goodbye, Mrs. Reid," he said, stepping into the elevator, the doors closing before you had a chance to chastise him. 

You stood there for a solid two minutes, just staring at the place the man had been, desperately willing your heart to go back to beating at a respectable rate. When it didn't, you knew you were in trouble.

Turning on your heel, you ran down the hall as inconspicuously as possible before throwing the door to Penelope Garvia's office wide open. 

"Penelope, I fucked up and I need your advice." 

🏷 @w-windy @multifandom-on-the-side @reidandhotchsgirl @babybluecakes @bluecandycake @hugyourlungs @prentissesredtanktop @reidscaffeine @bethanyhaas01 @average-sunflower @academiareid @sailortongue @lover-of-books-and-tea @star0055 @daddy-dotcom @zaapsite @high-functioning-cosplayer @anniewhalelover @abbyshmaby @isabel-ffl-xoxo @sujan39 @frxcless @bluestuesday @busy-buzzing @breadbrobin @maxinehufflepuffprincess @l0v3cam @booksandwonderlands @myescapefromthislife @kat453 @ferrjulie @kapeyama @scoobydoopoo @aelinismyqueen @littlesingingbean @jamiemuscatosslut @sharkcat1928 @xohoneybun @anchovy89freya @dysphoricsanity @alyssaxstan @ghostheartbeat @zada-quinn @beguiling3lavender @Casss2111 @zatannas-wand @rebloggiest-reblogger @wishyoudaskme @imawhoreforu @kspencer34

@academiacoffeelover @softservepunk @andiebeaword @r-3dlips @cow-parsley @wakaladjarin @itsyagrillkat @ratbastardchild @crazyforreid @mcira @danika1994 @stargurl99 @whovianwholikesgirls @myinnerwonderlandmind @axionn @bastard-chicken-3 @its-not-too-late-for-coffee @doriantomybasil @shqwqrma @shits8gigs @rosiehale23 @sadroses97 pt. 2 of tage in the reblogs!

[fanartlover1234]

GAME OF FEELING

Hook always flirts with Y/n.

Daughter of Eris x Captain Hook

Made by a request in dm

Can u do one where the reader plays hard to get with hook?

Eris as her mother most parted way when she came, too afraid of whaf she might do, her mother was the godess of chaos after all and who knows what her daughter might bring as rumors spread that her father was a powerful wizard.

Y/n liked it that way, it ment she had never have a need to worry for someone crossing her as Uliana herself never dared to touch her.

It ment they feared her and if there is something her mother teached her is thay fear is power.

Everthing is going smooth untill he shows up.

Captain fucking hook himself, almost always at her side amd before she knew the rest of his gang was always around her aswell.

As now she was sitting at a table her elbows rested on her knees as she watched some kids run around.

She flicked her finged amd they triped when a ruck suddenly lifted from the ground and chaos was made.

Hook leaned to her ear and his lips brushed the shell of her ear when he spoke "I love it when you are wicked"

The girl turned her head to him their lips mere inches apart.

"Fuck off hook" she said before getting up amd walking away from the group.

Or

Few days ago, to get a flower they had to kill the deadly bugs around it.

Y/n took her bracelet amd used magic to turn one of the emblems, the scorpion, into live creature.

"So they are deadly right?" Hook asked leaning over rhe girls shoulder to look at the scorpion.

"Yeah like you after a bad nap" she said looking back.

"Maybe it would be better if you were next to me" he said.

"Ill send one of these on you"

Few day pas and the girl wanders around as a soft melody plays in the back round and she sings.

"If theres a prize for rotten jugdement, i guess ive already won that, no mana worth the agroovation thays ancient history been there done that"

The muses come out joining her in her song of heart " Who d'you think you're kiddin'?He's the earth and heaven to you Try to keep it hidden Honey, we can see right through you Girl, you can't conceal it We know how you're feelin', who you're thinkin' of" by muses

"I wont say it"by Y/n

"You swoon, you sigh Why deny it? Uh-oh" by muses

"Its too cliche i wont say im in love, I thought my heart had learned its lesson

It feels so good when you start out

(Ah) My head is screaming, "Get a grip, girl"

"Unless you're dyin' to cry your heart out"" by Y/n

"You keep on denying

Who you are and how you're feelin'

Baby, we're not lying, hon we saw ya hit the ceiling

Face it like a grown up

When ya gonna own up that ya got, got, got it bad?" By muses

"This scene won't play

I won't say I'm in love

You're way off base

I won't say it

Get off my case

I won't say it" by Y/n

"Girl, don't be proud, it's ok, you're in love" by muses

Music comes to an end as the girl whispers the last words to herself "at least not out loud, i wont say im in love" she whispers to herself as the nex part, the only time she will ever say it out loud " im in love with the captain of the seas"

[mirukosbitchywife]

bnha pro heros with a vigilante s/o

aizawa, hawks, midnight, fatgum, miruko

vigilante reader is a pretty tame vigilante they pretty much just do heroic deeds but without a license so no one really cares much since ur not hurting anyone besides some bumps and scrapes, probably ooc? idk this is how i see them, not proofreading so if it sucks my bad, no warnings for anything i don't think, it's just fluff

midnight/nemuri:

-honestly you're probably not even the first vigilante she's dated, if there's one thing nemuri is gonna do it's whatever the fuck she wants lmao

-she's def the type of person to be like rules are meant to be broken

-nemuri LOVES going out with you, you better pray you don't have a recognizable face because there's no way you're getting out of going out to dinner and her dragging you shopping and her showing you off any chance she gets(not that you'd want to get out of that stuff i mean. it's nemuri)

-nemuri prefers working night shifts even when not working at ua so she can force you to take a break when she takes hers and she always packs you food <3

-she also prefers night shifts so you both can protect each other, shadowing one another in case one of you gets over your heads, the other one never being too far

-she probably has a lot of cats and by default they're your cats so usually while nemuris gone at ua you're playing with her cats. (nemuri probably has hundreds of pictures of you with a cat on top of you after you fell asleep)

-her favorite time of day is when you're both home and sweaty from fighting, your end of day routine always starts with taking a bath together, washing grime off the other, using the tenderness to reset your minds after a long day

-she loves to pamper you, do your nails, face masks, anything you want ,and uses her quirk slightly on you after a particularly rough day, and for her rough days you always make sure she gets a foot massage and glass of wine with a book <3

miruko/rumi:

-is so aggressively supportive of the vigilante thing she'd see you out beating the shit out of a villain and be like BEAT THEIR ASS BABE GET EM

-insists on you training with her. if you want to be a vigilante you gotta be in shape enough to go toe to toe with the number 5 pro hero

-absolutely kicks your ass in training but it's okay bc she gives you kisses every time you pin her <3

-if you're not immediately recognizable as a vigilante she Will take you to the boring hero shit she has to go with. no one's willing to get close enough to you besides hawks, because if you're with her she'll glare down anyone who tries to approach her and hawks is the only one brave enough to get closer (she also trusts hawks the most out of all of them and knows hes no snitch)

-has a sixth sense for when you're in trouble, so if you're ever in over your head in the same city as her ur opponent better start praying

-y'all's end of day routine always starts with rumi ranting about her day while you cook dinner for the both of you, then it's your turn to rant while she cleans the dishes after dinner

-on especially hard days for you, rumi gives a mean back massage that leaves you putty in her hands, on rumis hard days you always do her hair. she finds it so relaxing and loves the styles you do on her and will proudly wear whatever you did as long as she can

hawks/keigo:

-keigo would be a vigilante if he wasn't taken in by the commission. 100% he would not have stopped saving lives even if he got in trouble for it. he might even fuck around and manage to get you an actual hero license if you want one, even a fake one to get out of trouble if you need it

-basically. even as the number two hero he's no snitch and in fact really respects what you do. you guys probably met trying to save the same civilian or something and hit it off immediately

-he lets you follow him on patrols, absolutely no fucks. almost everyone thinks you're just one of his sidekicks and you basically act as one without the hero license. would just use his feathers to carry you away from any particularly hard ass heros (cough endeavor cough) if he needs to

-doesn't have a lot of friends but the ones he does have know all about you (including everything keigo gushes to them about you ugh) and they also don't care, they trust him as a person and a hero so by default they trust you

-probably also insists on training you but most of your spars end up in making out because he has no self control when it comes to you but you're not complaining

-end of day routine with keigo would def start with you two dancing in keigos living room, he just sweeps you up and starts dancing out of no where, doesn't even need music, the sound of you laughing at his antics is music enough for him, you've come to expect it every day when he comes home and it's one of the things you miss most when he's gone on a longer mission

-your rough days always end with you flying, even if you can fly using your own quirk, there's something about being held to the chest of the man you love while he flys through the night sky, placing unwavering trust in him to not let you fall while you admire the stars always makes your heart full, and for keigos rough days, you always preen his feathers, he's not used to anyone touching them besides his fans grabbing at him, so nothing relaxes him more than the feeling of your fingers in his feathers, straightening and adjusting them for him as you go

fatgum/taishiro:

-taishiro is just That Guy yk u guys probably met because he picked you up by your scruff during a fight you were losing and he jumped in all heroic like *swoons*

-him being That Guy /pos and all his only reaction after dealing with the villain is to put you down and be like woah. hello person i have never seen in my life before this very second right now. you should hurry along i don't want any civilians caught in the cross hairs when the police arrive. anyway random stranger i've never seen ever you should totally come by my hero agency and train in case you know. you get caught close to another villain attack

-guys got a heart proportional to the rest of him how could you not do anything for him he's sunshine personified. if he said jump you'd ask how high he's just got that affect

-he's probably the most chill pro hero aside from like. aizawa. you know how like the bigger the dog the more chill they get (usually). yeah same affect with him he minds his business stays in his lane does heroic deeds on the reg yk

- his favorite thing to do with you is spend time with you laying on top of him <33 he usually takes up all the space on wherever he's lying but no complaints can be heard when you get to cuddle on top of him all night

-end of day routine with taishiro would pretty much be him coming home from work, flopping on the couch, and dragging you to lay on top of him to doze until the food he ordered arrives (even if you wanted to there's no way you could cook for tai after work, you'd have a hard enough time cooking for Any pro hero let alone one who's quirk is dependent on food)

-your rough days usually entail you crawling inside his shirts to be closer to him (in my mind his clothes are probably usually baggy because they need to be able to withstand his full size and after a day at work he'd probably be at least somewhat smaller) and him allowing you to curl up on him like a cat (he probably also pets ur hair like a cat but we don't need to mention that), his rough days probably entail something like baking treats together!! he seems like the kind of guy who really really enjoys quality time with a s/o and combining that with food? his bad day melts away immediately

eraserhead/shouta:

-same shit different day yeah? he probably mostly has vigilante friends if we're honest (aside from hizashi and nemuri of course)

-is definitely used to dealing with vigilantes both a professional and unprofessional sense, nothing you can do will shock him, and you can always count on him to save your ass when things go south, it's like he has a second quirk with the way he's able to sense when you're either about to do something stupid or about to die. usually both.

-you guys patrol at night together, you both prefer working when you know the other is somewhere nearby in case things go south, and more often than not you take cases on together (although Technically it's just him on the paperwork)

-omg what if you guys meet because he saw you feeding a cat and snuck up on you only for you to. notice him? holy shit?? you could sense his presence?? he was flabbergasted. that like never fucking happens

-end of day routine is you bullying him into a shower with you and him making you wash his hair as payment. literally a fucking cat. we both know he wouldn't shower after patrol alone he'd just go to sleep.

-your rough days always end up with you in a caterpillar looking ass sleeping bag with shouta but you'd have it no other way. his rough days are full of cat cafes. they just relax him like nothing else

[toxycodone]

Hey Toxy! Sorry for the sudden radio silence on asks from me, but I got nasty icky sick.

Any quick thoughts on the Touden Party (post Falin being revived) with a gn!reader or fem!reader who got sick (stomach bug or flu is okay with me)?

Thank you again! Love your blog!

-Deer Anon. 🦌❤️

NOOOO OMG...im so sorry to hear that i hate. the flu. I had it in the beginning of this year and when I tell you I was DYING. ugh.

Laios

Probably the most visually affected. Literally says out loud "that's awful!!" when he hears you're sick. Bro is not having it

He's not squeamish, so he volunteers to check on you (along with Falin, theyre a duo).

He holds your hair back when you throw up. King

I think he spends a lot of time unintentionally fretting about you. Will you be okay? Getting sick is the worst. He just ultimately feels bad.

I think he tries to distract you by reading or trying to play games. The others have to keep him from you because he's so eager to just hang out and doesn't really think about the reality that hey. you have something infectious!!

Falin

She's genuinely an unbothered queen in the best way possible. Because she doesn't freak out or anything. Falin is just like "okay" and comes up with her game plan

She's good at nursing you back to health but she doesn't overdo it. Falin is really lowkey and honestly an excellent caretaker. She's the one monitoring your temperature and making sure you get enough fluids and she doesn't cringe when you vomit everywhere. Just frowns and gets to cleaning up.

She'll use her magic to help alleviate your symptoms before she goes <3

Marcille

Instantly freaks. Because ew germs and being sick but also like are you gonna be okay?? Marcille wants to like consult every medic in town before Falin reassures her its cool

Marcille makes the best herbal tea for you...since Falin has you covered with the magic, Marcille focuses on her home remedies and such.

SHE WOULD DO YOUR HAIR. It's an act of love. Usually people don't think about that but having icky hair when you're sick is the worst and Marcille won't have it.

Chilchuck

Oh I know he's immediately thinking of a lecture. He wants to go to you and tell you about how he told you so and you shouldn't have pushed yourself

But when he sees you he just sighs. You look terrible (affectionately) and he just feels super bad. Chil presses his hand to your forehead and tsks and immediately starts doing the mental checklist of what he'd do for his daughters when they were sick

He kinda chides you, but ultimately he settles to change your bedding when it gets too sweaty and make sure you're getting some sort of bath/shower.

He also does that dad thing where he comes into the room and just looks at you when you're sleeping to make sure you're good

Senshi

SENSHI THE GOAT IS MAKING AN IMMACULATE CHICKEN SOUP FROM BONE BROTH HE MADE PREVIOUSLY AND STORED. He is so real.

He doesn't pressure you to eat and just like, makes sure you're at least drinking the broth to get your strength up.

I also like to think he'd attempt to make the Orc medicine he learned while living with them too, just in case. Even small doses of that could hopefully get you feeling better.

But he's helping Chil with the sheets and washing dishes and such. Senshi also stays in the room with you when he has down time during the day and will read you pa

Izutsumi

Eh...do not expect much from her. But she assists the others in the background. Mainly by helping Senshi or Chilchuck take care of you.

She could probably tell you were sick like the day before and avoided you or mentioned you having a strange smell.

But when she hears you're sick she's like :/ "called it"

When no one else is there she "begrudgingly" sleeps at the foot of your bed. It helps you with the chills but also when you have a fever you're really warm

(She probably also gets sick then you have to help her out since its "your fault" hehe)

[narcjsistx]

Good morning/afternoon/evening/night! I hope you're doing well<3 sorry for bothering you but can you do big brother Izana headcanons? Like what if Reader was getting bullied, what would Izana do?

HI! thanks for the request, hope you have a good day 🤎 and thx for the support!

𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

— Izana Kurokawa as a big brother HCS ᡣ𐭩

To say he is possessive of you is an understatement. You are literally his last piece of biological family, he would never let you go anywhere without him or at most Kakucho

You are literally one of the most protected people in the world. I don't think anyone wants to mess with Izana Kurokawa and his younger sister, so bullying doesn't even remotely exist for you. In case there was someone who even dared to say something against you, well, this someone no longer exists. Murdered or suicide? Only Izana knows...

During the time in the orphanage with Kakucho and you, Izana often joked that sooner or later you would fall in love with Kakucho and abandon him. Paradoxically, for him Kakucho would be the only one who would leave you having half the problems he would have with someone he doesn't know. He knows how loyal you are to him and so you would still be protected

You are the vice captain of the Tenjiku. No matter your skills, whether you're great or terrible at fighting, the role is yours regardless. You are also called "the queen of Tenjiku" since you are the last girl, but since Izana is now known as "the king" you don't really like this nickname they gave you

Kind of brother who shows his love with pats on the head: it's a gesture that you've been doing since you were a child, and it remained until you grew up. We know that him is not the exact representation of contact for love, but this gesture moves him a lot

As a child he did everything, AND I MEAN EVERYTHING, to get you adopted. He wanted you to end up better than him since he already knew where he would end up, so he often intruded on visiting parents by pointing out that you were a lovely little girl. He even sent a letter to the director of the orphanage threatening him that if he didn't find you a family he would scratch his car

At first, he was afraid to let you meet Shinichiro. He thought you would become as fond of him as he did and that Shinichiro would become your favorite brother and not him. He only realized it was bullshit some time later, realizing that you too needed to have someone else in your family besides him. So yes, as children it often happened that all 3 of us went out together

He talks about you by the nickname "Bunso", which means "sister" in Tagalog. Since you were a child you have tried to learn your native language, and in the end, despite not living in the Philippines, you managed to have a good level of the language. It often happens that to communicate things in code with each other you speak in front of others using this language. Often at Tenjiku meetings Shion says something annoying, you turn to Izana and say "Ang tanga-tanga naman nito. Hindi ko nga alam bakit nandito pa siya" —> "This guy is infinitely stupid. I wonder why he's still among us". Shion laughed more than a few times thinking you were paying him a compliment

[alltoomaples]

love.jpg - LN

pairing: fem!uni student x lando norris

synopsis: lando gets invested in working with cameras after you talk about your day in photography class and you two discover a new language of love <;33

type: writing + instagram au

a/n: finally writing up the very first writing for my new series until i found you. and ik i have been super super lacked in writing. you guys have no idea how much and many ideas ive got but procastination takes the most of it! im trying my best to work upon it and now that my finals are nearing, i may try to write as a stress breaker soo fingers crossed.

until next one, happy reading <;33

part 2 is out now!! check it out :))

. . . .

You came home from your last class of the semester from uni. As much as you love photography and graphic design, its definitely tiresome when being pursued as a Masters degree. But you won't complain much about it cause at the end of the day, you love what you do. And so does your boyfriend.

"Congrats on completing another semester, bubba!" Lando greets as he speed walks to you and engulfs you in a hug.

You drop your bags carefully and hug him back tight as you mourn in exhaustion. Your whole body gives up that Lando was quick to pick you up and let the both of you fall on the couch. Chuckles leave from your mouth as he leans in and kissed your forehead.

"I'm so so proud of you, Y/N/N" He says, looking into your eye, pinning your hair behind the ear as he rests his hand on your cheek.

"I haven't completed my course, Lan"

"Yet. And soon you will be my personal photographer and designer for Quadrant" Lando says very proudly.

"Well in that case, be ready to say goodbye to your bank accounts" you say, smirking at him as you squish his cheeks.

"I'll be happy to make our joint accounts"

"It's a deal then!"

. . . .

"So tell me about your project?" Lando asks as we clean dishes after dinner.

"Well, basically, we have to make a portfolio for photography class. We need to select a theme and shoot pictures showcasing that theme" you say, as you dried the final plate.

"That sounds so much fun and creative!"

"It is actually! till you finalize the theme cause that's the main brainers" you say as you place the dishes back to the shelves and lando keeps the leftovers in fridge.

"And that's what i'm here for! Let me help you with the picture and theme and stuff" Lando says, being very supportive and super excited like a kid on Christmas morning.

"Bubba, i appreciate you and your help but you'll be busy with race weekends, PR promos and Quadrant stuff. Do you really wanna squish mine on top of this busy business??" you ask, being concerned about him.

He walks over to you, grabbing your face in his and leans in.

"Let me be a part of your project. Think of me as your project buddy who also happens to be your boyfriend" Lando says, making puppy eyes which makes harder to say no to him.

"Alrighty love. You're in!"

"Wooohoooo!!! Let's goooo babyyyy!!" He does his small victory dance as he sung to HSM: we're all in this together

You laughed silently as you walked into your work room and picked up a camera. Lando eventually followed you and found you holding the camera.

"Wait- we are already starting with the work??"

"We haven't even chosen a theme, you dum dums" you say, ruffling his head which messes the small curls a bit.

"Ohh yeah. I'd suggest you to do some trial run shots, like you know, play around capturing day to day events. Maybe something will spark and voila, you'll have a theme ready!" Lando says, as he fixed his hair while looking in the mirror.

"That's actually a great idea bubs!!! I'm gonna do that now. You really do love this subject of mine, don't you??" You ask, as you really loved his input he just gave and you're quite impressed with it.

His level of creativity is something you've always loved and appreciated his talents. And isn't it just lovely to see people talk about their passions!

And this just made you think it's time to finally give him one of your passions.

"This camera is yours from today. I've been wanting to give you this as I've seen you've been very much interested in photography and something you can take along with you and remind you of me" you say, whispering at the end as you felt your cheeks heat up due to the cliché that you just happen to say which isn't a very you thing to do.

Lando stood there with the camera in his hands, in complete awe at the gesture of yours.

"Y/N! you have no idea how much this means to me!! This isn't just any camera, this is one you truly used for your good works" He says, pulling you closer to his. He makes you look up to him, leaning in close as he kisses you softly yet lovingly. Your hands make their way behind his neck, pulling him close to you.

"I love you, so much y/n/n" Lando says, almost as a whisper as he rests his nose with yours.

"and i love you, much more lan" you whisper back with a smile as you do the eskimos kiss.

. . . .

Instagram

lando.jpg

liked by carlossainz55, charlesleclerc, y/n.clicks and 3,566,962 others

landonorris: your fellow neighborhood cameraman📸

the best gift from the best <;33 y/n.clicks

view 41,06,765 comments

username1: wait Y/N gave her VERY OWN CAMERA TO LANDO!?!?

y/n.clicks: not bad for a beginner! have fun bubby🫶🏼

lando.jpg: learnt from the best ;)) will do!❤️

username2: he learnt with her?! talk about couple goals💗💖💞

charlesleclerc_: well i guess we'll say goodbye to this camera eventually. have you thought this through y/n.clicks 🤔🤔

y/n.clicks: i had a really good run with it soo if it breaks its alright, I'll get a new one 😙

lando.jpg: you two know that i can read your comments right?? hah RUDE😡

username3: i cant- 🤣🤣🤣🤣

username4: we're gonna be seeing what lando wants people to see. I LOVE IT!!!

y/n.clicks

liked by charlesleclerc_, maxfewtrell, landonorris and 1,609,992 others

y/n_l/n: handing over ceremony📷

lando 🤝 lando.jpg

tagged: landonorris

view 105,020 comments

lanndonorris: key moment of my life and career❤️

y/n.clicks: landonorris bubbaaa🥺💗

username1: i want what they have😭😭💛

carlossainz55: wow, he is growing up🥹🥹

y/n.clicks: ikr!!!🤧🤧

landonorris: you two ughhhhh🙄🙄

username2: this is sooo adorable ahhh!!

username3: thanks to y/n now we're gonna embark the cameraman lando era!

y/n.clicks: this is just the beginning of the era!!

lando.jpg

liked by ciscanorris, y/n.clicks and 2,954,755 others

landonorris: day at the bay with my bae

tagged: y/n.clicks

view 957,542 comments

username1: oh my. oH mY! OhOh MymY!!😍🤩

y/n.clicks: caption might be chessy af but the pictures, mamma mia🥵😍

liked by lando.jpg

maxfewtrell: now i get it why you ditched for golfing, you simp!

y/n.clicks: wait what!?! lando did that??

lando.jpg: 😳😳😳😳 busted?

ciscanorris: lando ditching golf?? he's soo into his cameraman era!!!🫡💗

username3: everyone say thank you y/n for getting lando a camera

username4: seriously! THANK YOU QUEEN Y/N

lando.jpg: FACTS!! thank you y/n.clicks 🫂🫶🏼

liked by y/n.clicks

y/n.clicks

liked by ciscanorris, pierregasly, olivernorris and 10,954,755 others

y/n_l/n: my favourite kind of cheese🧀 landonorris

tagged: lando.jpg

view 45,998,972 comments

username1: the caption🥹😭💖💞💗✨️

username2: them>>>>>>

riabish: LOVE IS IN THE AIR🫶🏼✨️

danielricciardo: you guys are so disgustingly adorable🫡💖

landonorris: now who's the chessier one??😏😏

y/n.clicks: landonorris still YOU🫣

landonorris: 😂😂😂

. . . .

also I'm thinking for a part 2 for this, lemme know if you're interested too :))

check out my works: until i found you masterlist | other works

part 2 is out now!! check it out :))

[gofancyninjaworld]

No one is born knowing how to communicate

A: And that's okay...

Dr Kuseno made it look so easy. He just swanned into Saitama's apartment, proferred him a gift of beef and the hero's hostility melted away.

Fubuki felt positively foolish, and yet encouraged.

Since then, however, she's found that the only thing meat bribes pull in are dogs. Literal dogs:

And even dogs need more than meat to be loyal.

What gives? Well, it's obvious that Fubuki mistook Dr Kuseno's gift for a bribe: more on that later. Probably. And yeah, it's funny, but it's more interesting than that.

Learning how to communicate is complex. There are a ludicrous number of unspoken conventions and rules in every human society, so much so that we don't fully learn how to smile socially until we're in our forties. Dr Kuseno carefully judged his gift: he had a legitimate reason to offer Saitama a gift in the first place, out of gratitude for Saitama going out of his way to mentor Genos. Then he chose a gift Saitama would be sure to appreciate and presented it at a time when Saitama would be thinking about dinner. The worst that could have happened is that Saitama took the gift but insisted on the doctor going home (and taking Genos with him) -- it would still have left the desired positive impression. And things went really well. Kuseno made it look effortless.

Fubuki is only in her early twenties and her experience to date has been far from typical. She's learned that either she can intimidate people or she can flatter them into doing what she wants. With Saitama (and later Bang, Bomb, and Kuseno), she has to learn how to talk to more powerful people whom she cannot overpower, over whom she has no leverage, and who are unimpressed by her looks, simpering, or flattery.

Fortunately, Fubuki is nothing if not astute. She's worked out that she needs to develop complementary skills if she's to make herself useful to the S-Class heroes she wants to hang with. How to talk to them to get the help and cooperation she desires? Ah, that's a work in progress.

B: ...Unless it's not

Let's move onto another miscommunication.

Something that I hadn't before was that, unlike the webcomic version where Saitama only thinks to himself that Genos seems depressed, in the manga, Saitama out and out asks him if this is the case. He wants to know.

It mirrors King asking Saitama that very same question and getting Saitama to open up and be vulnerable for the first time (ever, in any version of the story). So it is very appropriate to see Saitama trying to do the same for Genos, particularly as he is openly fond of the guy.

However, it goes wrong. Saitama feels himself under pressure to say something wise to make it better. So he puts on his best 'confident' face and inadvertently makes everything much worse. Oh dear. What makes this particularly painful in the manga is that Saitama is much more invested in trying to reach Genos, and it's made Genos think that Saitama saying that he doesn't see what he's doing must mean that earlier times when he's praised him must have been just Saitama being nice. For sure, Genos could have pushed back and made Saitama clarify what he meant, but he's even worse at communicating: and Saitama's glib remark about being bright struck him square in the insecurities.

I'm going to come to something that I only realised once I started typing this up. Even though I've pointed out their abilities to communicate, neither King nor Kuseno have the perfect words to say. Kuseno started out by first committing a faux pas in bringing his great big outside boots into Saitama's flat, then nearly boring Saitama to death with a long-winded explanation. King started out by trying to guess what was bothering Saitama. Both, however, did the most important thing about effective communication: they picked up on their going wrong and changed tack.

It's not about saying the right thing: it's about responding to the person you're talking to.

The thing that King did that Saitama was trying to do for Genos was to ask Saitama open questions, and shut up in the interim, letting Saitama talk to fill in the silence. He'd only speak to ask more open questions when Saitama ran out of things to say, and through that, gently started to challenge Saitama's thinking.

But doing so means being comfortable with several seconds of silence. And that is excruciating. It is almost irresistible to jump in and say something, anything. And it would have been a longish wait, for Genos to slowly sit down and decide to start speaking, which might well have started being about something only tangentially related to his worry. King did that for Saitama: Saitama started out talking about what was bothering him on the surface -- being too strong -- before eventually coming to what was really bothering him, feeling lonely and profoundly isolated from everyone around him. Saitama does not yet know how to wait a person out.

It's a problem in this case because it's introduced a big barrier between those two, not an insurmountable one for sure, but one that could easily compound later.

Ah well, no one is born a communicator. We just have to wait and see if they work out a way to open up and be honest with each other. So it goes! There's more ways to introduce conflicts than to have a monster trample Tokyo, after all!

And so help me, the struggle to learn how to communicate is 1000% worthwhile.

[dreamauri]

♪ — 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗦𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗟 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗦 - part eight charles leclerc  x  fem! driver! reader (angst/fluff) “… forgetting is troublesome especially when you used to be enemies.”

( fic master list | general master list ) ( requests ) ( previous | next )

"You play?" You called though the apartment, crouching down infront of the piece. "I took the Leclerc's for more of . . . classical instruments." You noted, admiring the piece.

Arthur peaked his head from the wall, looking at you confused. "Ahhh." He snapped his fingers once he saw the red electric guitar leaning on the stand against the wall. "That's not mine, that's yours." He disappeared behind the wall again.

"Mine?" You frowned, confused. You didn't play any instruments as far as you could remember—

You entered the room loudly strumming the guitar to the tune of 'do i want to know' by arctic monkeys. "Mon Dieu, qu'ai-je jamais fait pour te déplaire. S'il te plaît, pardonne-moi." [dear god, what have i ever done to displease you. please forgive me] charles screamed into his hoodie as you stood on the background. "Have you ever been beaten by a wet spaghetti noodle because you confused your girlfriend for her twin sister and fucked her dad? That's what it's like to drive a Ford f2 50." You could hear the other quartet boys wheezing on stream while charles bit on his sleeve to muffle his screams.

You chuckle pulling the case open. You're met by a nice surprise. Tons of polaroid photos fill the case, leaving enough space for the guitar. They were all pictures of you and Charles, dating from the beginning of your relationship till mid 2020 during lockdown.

"I don't think he would've hid that here if he knew you put all these there." Arthur chuckled, holding up a cup of hot coffee ( or was it chocolate? ) for you.

It was both. You sipped the drink, looking at the memories. "What'd you mean?" "Charles didn't think it was as romantic as playing the piano in the morning." The older brother-in-law, Lorenzo, commented as he walked through the hallway.

"Speaking of mister romantic." Arthur sat beside you wiggling his eyebrows. "You like him." You dry laughed which did end up in an actual laugh.

"vous êtes en retard de plusieurs semaines." [you're late by a few weeks] Pascale corrected her youngest son as she stopped by the room, looking at you with a soft smile. You shrugged, sharing the smile.

"Je serais idiot de ne pas tomber amoureuse de mon mari." [i'd be an idiot to not fall for my husband] I joked. Arthur folded his arms squinting his eyes, giving you a suspicious look. "Donner une raison." [give reason] He demanded.

"What is this? An exam." You scoffed with a laugh, nudging his shoulder. "For sentimental reasons." You stuck your tongue out at him, putting the guitar in the case and collecting your things to leave.

"Ie dois partir . . . uhh— maintenant!" [i have to go, uhh now] You snapped your finger once you remembered the word, kissing Pascale's cheek gently. The Your family gave you smiles and waved farewells as you put your shoes on and left for your car.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"im safe" was the only message in the chat. You'd texted Charles almost a week ago to assure him of your safety. You didn't tell him where or with who you were, maybe that was why he didn't answer.

Was he angry? He probably was.

You sighed deeply, pocketing your phone as you approached your hotel room. You unlocked the door, pushing your suitcase inside. Charles was here, you could smell his cologne, or maybe because the shower was running and no one else would shower in your room.

Your eyes undiluted upon seeing the two separate beds.

The bathroom door unlocked and Charles stepped out. He was definitely surprised to see you, he wasn't expecting you till tomorrow. And you could tell. He wouldn't be standing there, naked, if he knew you'd be there.

"Sorry." Your voice came out raspy as you tore your eyes away from his bare flesh, looking away. You cleared your voice with a cough, starting to unpack your belongings in the closet. You could hear him move around before he reached for clothes from behind you. You could feel the steam from his skin and his breath on your neck as he paused to look down at your timid figure which got even timid-er when he trapped you between your arms, leaning closer to you.

You closed your eyes, sucking in a deep breath as you felt Charles lips ghost on the skin on your neck. A gasp left your mouth as you felt his hands trail down your chest and hips. "Charles." His name left your tongue like a prayer.

"Please." "You want me?" "I need you." You pleaded, trying to lean back into his body only for him to pull away. "You want me?" "I do. I need you." You begged again, feeling shame flow through your body as you breathed out the words.

"Char . . . les?" You felt him pull away with a scoff. Your face reddened with embarrassment as you heard him dress before taking his leave.

"You've finally done it." You mumbled to yourself stepping in the shower. From going to begging for you to rejecting you. This marriage was dead wasn't it? With a quick shower and tidy up, you collapsed on the not taken bed, staying there for the rest of the night.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Hehe, look at you!" "Me? Your face is basically- AMOUR!" Charles could feel his faint shouting and your giggling as he gently closed the hotel door after him. He kicked his shoes off before slowly taking strides to your non-moving blanket-covered figure.

He could see the light from the screen under the blanket, colors and figures moving. "Charles!" "Stay still- Y/N! Stop pulling- Y/N!" Your giggles and laughs filled his ears as he gently pulled the blanket to reveal the old digital flip screen camera playing videos from its files.

He could see his younger self trying to pull you closer from your jaw, trying to reach your lips and when he did he kissed you deeply, not wasting the chance to make out with you.

"You know I love you, cheri?" "Oh?" Your drunk voice sounded through the room. "You're so sweet carli-" Charles took the camera, shutting it off with an angry huff.

His eyebrows furrowed. He looked down at you ready to give you a scowl or a scolding only to find you sleeping, far away in dreamland. His shoulders relaxed as he admired you.

What happened? He kept thinking. It was not your fault you said these words. You were frustrated and confused. Heck you were a Seventeen year old, who woke up from a nap to find herself 7 years in the future in a 25 year-olds life and with her expectations.

"I'm sorry." He found himself murmuring quietly, the bed dipping as he sat next to you, gently brushing your messy hair from your face.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"JESUS!" You stomped angrily, ripping your helmet and balaclava off. "Calm down, Y/N." "Don't tell me to calm down! You yourself said it was bad."

"No no, Y/N." Your mechanic tried to hold you back only for you to shove your helmet in his chest. "LANDO!" You called the British out and you approached his garage. "What the fuck was that?! Huh? Are we playing bumper cars?"

Lando sighed, rolling his eyes as he walked out, ready to shut you up. "You're making a scene." He scolded you, taking your arm to pull you somewhere private. "I am! That was crazy. You're crazy."

"Why do you care?" He stopped in his tracks, looking you straight in your eyes. "You crashed Charles out? He's in the hospital? He's my husband? You hurt my husband." I argued, not being able to stand him.

"He's not your husband." your eyes widened at his statement. "He's Y/N's husband. He's my best friend's husband. I don't know where she is but I'm definitely not looking at her."

You clenched your jaw and fists, glaring at him as he walked away. You took long strides in the other direction.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Fuck!" You screamed in your car over and over again as you parked at the hotel. You just wished you were back in f3, you wish this was all a nightmare, a bad dream and you'd wake up any second now and score p19 in that damn race.

Lando was right, you weren't Y/N. Nothing that you had was yours, you shouldn't have any of it all. You shouldn't even be here.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Again?" Charles grumbled, looking around the empty hotel room. Your things were here, but you were nowhere to be found. "Fucking hell Y/N." He cussed, going down the hall to look for you. You might've been at Lando's or Max's?

Neither. One had shrugged and told Charles he last saw you with Lando and the other told him that he last had a fight with you before you walked off. Great.

your things were here but you weren't. Maybe you were on a run? Yes, that must be it. You were just running your stress off, like you always do right? Charles waited. and waited. and waited. it was 4am, he was laying in your bed, his arm in the sling hurting and his eyes burning from lack of sleep.

Great. fucking great—

creak

and there you were, standing at the door, looking at him like a deer caught in headlights. "Y/N, what the actual fuck?!" You flinched, looking up scared as he stomped over. You were ready for a scolding or for him to should, or hit you even. but you were instead pulled into his chest by his one good arm.

"Where the fuck have you been." ok he did scold you, but you still felt better in his arms. so you stayed there, hugging him for the rest of the morning. "your arm—" "fucking fine. just— SHH!" you stayed quiet, letting him nuzzle in your neck and caress your head.

"Where?" "Drive?" "Why?" "Needed to clear my head." "All night?" "Mhm." you nodded, leaning your head on his shoulder. "Text me then." "I did?"

You did. Take a guess on who blocked his number. "Sorry." "Just— dont fucking run off like that. It scares the shit out of me."

[nikkisheep]

What Happened to the Sunshine?

Daryl Dixon x reader

Warnings: Major character death, ANGST, twd elements, walkers, mentions of death like a lot, italic is the memories, mentions of sex, mentions of pregnacy, kinda long, fighting

Summary: Daryl lost you and now he has to live with the pain.

Guys, I nearly cried writing this.

You were the sunshine to the rain for Daryl. You made every day in the miserable world good. You made every day worth living. He loved you and you had loved him. Sometimes, however, the rain would swallow the sunshine and leave nothing but ruin in its wake.

Walkers flooded the streets, keeping the group locked in a shack. Daryl was restless. He needed to get out of the small room. He needed to just be back at home and stay in his basement. He wanted to be alone.

Well, not really, no. He wanted to have you. He wanted to hug you again and listen to you tell him about the day you had. He wanted to look at your warm smile and have one on his face as well. He just wanted you to be with him. But you weren't anymore. You never would be again.

"Daryl Dixon, who gave you the right to look so handsome?'' You asked, teasing lased in your voice.

''I woul' have ta believe tha' would be my lov' for ya,'' He had said, smiling before kissing your soft lips.

You were wearing a pair of blue jeans and a white shirt, even though Daryl had told you that the planting that you wanted to do was only going to mess it up. You had laughed and slapped his shoulder. God, he could listen to your laugh all day.

"It better be that, honey.''

He had smiles at you. Leading you up to the bedroom for some sweet loving. He had held you like he could lose you.

If only he knew.

----

Stabbing the walker in the head, he groaned at the throb in his chest from the running. He was sweaty, dirty, and purely tired. He needed a shower, but he was not going to take one. Why? Because you weren't here to force him to take one.

"I swear if you don't get in that shower right now, you will sleep outside." You had said with a serious look.

"Honey, 've slept outside before."

"Well, I ain't sleeping beside no nasty man," You had laughed.

"Oh so I'm nasty?"

Daryl had ran to you, tackling you to the floor and started to rub his sweat, dirt, and mud all over you. He tickled you as he did so and you were screaming in laughter at his actions.

"Ewwww, you're getting Daryl on me," You whined, faking a pout.

"Fine, then woman. I will sleep outside."

You pull him in with a, "Come here my dirty man." and pulled in into a kiss. It lead to sex right there on the floor of the house but it was so passionate. He in fact had not slept outside.

----

The sun shined early in the morning, Daryl rolled over to your side of the bed, patting in search for you. He opens his eyes when he does not feel you and notices that your side had been cold. It had been for a while. He looks at your bedside table, the same as you had left it that morning, and smiles at your picture of the two of you. He remembered you begged him for the picture. Tears welled up in his blue eyes as he thought back to that day.

"Please, just one picture and then I will never ask again." You begged.

"Nah."

"But Daryl, I want a picture of you."

"Why?"

"In case anything happens, I will always remember your face."

"Ain't nothing gonna happen to us."

"You can't promise it," You pouted before getting into position beside him.

"I know nothin' will but let's get the pictur' done."

Maggie held the camera, capturing the pure look of love between the two of you. Daryl was looking at you with a love struck grin and you, you were looking at him with the biggest smile someone could give in the middle of the end of the world. Your eyes shined with love when you looked at Daryl and Maggie had felt like she was imposing on a moment.

"I love you Daryl, thank you."

"Love ya too, sunshine." He said, kissing your forehead.

He sniffled at bit before going on about his day. He tried to not think about you, the memories were to painful. He didn't know what was more heart breaking, the fact that he couldn't have you or the fact that you weren't here anymore. The sky had lost its sun. He had lost the light and the love of his life.

---

Daryl was working on his bike when he overheard some people talking about you. They were the worst kind of people in Alexandria and you had always hated them. Daryl had gotten into fights with them a lot over you.

The guys were laughing about how you were stupid to trust Daryl and that it was even crazier that you had settled for a man like him. He couldn't even protect you. Daryl sighed in defeat before going outside and started swinging.

You were running from a large herd, stumbling against the raised tree roots. The sun was going down and you were trying to make it home before dark.

"Daryl!" You had called when you were grabbed by a walker who was stuck under the root.

He turned to you but by the time he made it to you, the walker had attracted more which they started to bite into your flesh. Killing all of the dead bastards around you, he started running. Daryl yelled for Rick and everyone else and he sprinted to your body.

His fists collided with one of the guys face. He started beating the shit out of him. His ears ringing, blood covering his face.

"You're gonna be oka'." Daryl whispered to you.

"Rick!" He called again, agony slipping into his voice.

"Rick!" He sobbed.

"Daryl," You muttered. Blood was seeping through your clothes. The walkers had done a number on your shoulders and your legs. He was crying while looking into your eyes, they were struggling to hold on.

"I'm here, sunshine. Just hold on, you're gonn' make it."

Sobs rained from his lips, your body laying in his lap. Rick ran over, shouting to the group to follow. He knelt down to Daryl and your body, placing a hand on Daryl's shoulder.

"Daryl, I'm fine. I'm going to be o-okay," You said, smiling widely.

"No, no, no. Please," Daryl begged as his body shook when your beautiful eyes started to droop.

"Daryl, rem-remember to live." Your breathing became more slow, barely able to be heard.

"No, don't you die on me!" He started to shake you, hoping to keep you away.

The man below him was out cold and the others had ran away, not wanting to be next. But Daryl found them. He chased them down and started beating the shit out of them. He heard Rick's footsteps thudding against the road.

Rick watched his brother break down over your now lifeless body, his heart breaking at the sight. You were going to get married when you made it back today. You were going to start a family. You and Daryl were going to be parents. You were a few weeks pregnant and Rick had begged you to talk to Daryl but you were going to wait until after the run. You wanted it to be when everyone was gathered together for dinner.

"Please, wake up. Open your eyes, sunshine. Please," Daryl begged. He shook you once again, a white piece of paper fell out of your jacket pocket. You had brought it in case the moment was right.

Daryl looked at Rick and Rick grabbed the paper. He started to read it to Daryl as he cried over your bloody body.

"Daryl and I have been together for a very long time. We are going to get married someday and I wanted to tell him something. He is the most loving man, beautiful man, I have ever met in my life and to be honest, if the world had to end just so I could meet him, I say let it happen. I would choose this life every time if it means that I get to have the love of my life forever. Now, I wanted to tell you all that I have a surprise and now that we are safe, I wanted to say that I am pregnant. We are having a baby. We are going to be a family."

Rick helped Daryl place your body on the neatly stacked wood. Maggie and Glenn started to cover the wood with gasoline, soaking the wood until it was covered. Daryl said his last goodbyes to you and the unborn child that he will never get to meet. He watched as your body went up in flames at the toss of a match. He watched the love of his life, his almost wife, go up in smoke.

Rick grabbed Daryl and pulled him off the poor man who was completely knocked out.

"Daryl, take it easy." Rick showed him that it was just him and Daryl dropped to the ground on his knees.

"Daryl?" Rick got down on the ground with his brother. Daryl leaned into Rick's arms as he broke down to the thought of you. Glenn ran up to the scene and saw that Rick was holding a bloody Daryl with two men beaten to a pulp.

"Daryl, it's going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay. You can make it through this," Rick encouraged his brother by choice. It broke him knowing that Daryl was hurting. Your death had only happened a few months ago and Daryl was still breaking at the seams. This was the first time that Rick had seen Daryl show any emotion after you.

It's like the community said, you were his sunshine to his rain and without you, it was nothing but rain and thunder.

[kuiperblog]

Book Review: I'm Starting to Worry About This Black Box of Doom

I have finished reading I'm Starting to Worry About this Black Box of Doom by Jason Pargin.

The premise of this book is simple, and rather than trying to summarize it myself, I will give you the author's blurb:

One day, a woman you've never met before offers you $100,000 in cash to drive her across the country—half now, half when you arrive. It’s a 2,600-mile trip, but there's a catch. She has a large, locked black box, big enough for someone to crawl inside. You're not allowed to look inside the box or even ask questions about it. She insists you leave behind all devices that can be tracked—no phone, no laptop, no credit cards, no GPS. You'll be paying with cash and navigating with a paper map the entire way. And finally, you can't tell anyone where you're going. There's no time to think; she says you must leave now. You hesitate, and she doubles the offer. Would you do it? Maybe, if you're brave or desperate enough. And besides, you think, what’s the worst that could happen?

I read it. I enjoyed it! I think it's my favorite Jason Pargin novel. One of the things that I have always liked about his novels are the fun action set pieces, and the way he builds tension throughout a scene, and across an entire book. He delivers on that here, and I am incredibly impressed with how he managed to stick the landing on this one: near the end of the book, I found myself thinking, "there's no way that this could have a climax that manages to surprise me without being a total letdown," but he proved me wrong: the big climax was completely unexpected, yet expertly "earned" by all the little bits that built up to it. It really all came together in the end in a way that far exceeded my expectations.

Jason writes humorous books, or so I've been told. I enjoy his Zoey Ashe books, and they are fun, but I've never found them to be particularly "funny." The Zoey Ashe series presents lots of absurd situations that entertained me, but none that really tickled my funny bone. However, Black Box of Doom made me laugh out loud multiple times. Maybe it's the fact that, unlike Zoey Ashe (which is science fiction), Black Box of Doom is set in "our world" in a way that feels incredibly true to life. And it feels like "our world" in a way that a lot of "real world" stories don't, largely thanks to the specificity.

Rendering the world we live in with high specificity is risky, because it's the sort of thing that is prone to "age rapidly," but I think that in 10 years, people will look back on this as an interesting period piece about 2020's culture. When Jason Pargin writes about TikTok, and Reddit, and Twitch, and the way the characters in his book engage with these platforms, you get a sense that he understands them deeply, and he is more interested in rendering them in high fidelity than he is in making a value judgment about them, or trying to poke fun at them. And yet, because he understands them so deeply, he also understands all of the things about them that are deeply funny and absurd, and so he can render those parts to great humorous effect without ever having to exaggerate. The moments of absurdity that manage to be pointed without feeling artificially "heightened" are some of the funniest, and give the book a very Dave Barry-esque quality.

Pargin ends the book with an afterward about karma how does not exist in this universe: this is a book where bad things can happen to people who behave well, and good things can happen to people who behave poorly. That much seems obvious enough that it seems unnecessary to explain it in a disclaimer, but Pargin wishes to disclaim something more specific: he wants us to know that if good things happen to a character, that is not a case of the author "rewarding" the character for being "right," nor are the bad things that happen to other characters in a case of Pargin "punishing" them for being "wrong."

Before editing this post, I wrote the previous paragraph about how "sometimes good things happen to bad people, and sometimes bad things happen to good people." But I rewrote those sentences, because I think that Pargin would reject the essentialist framing of "good person" vs "bad person." Everyone you know has done bad things at some point in their lives, and everyone you know has good qualities that might cause you to like them in certain contexts. Can anyone really make a judgment about whether that makes them a "good person" or "bad person?" If you go through someone's life looking for the one piece of evidence that will allow you to render a "good person or bad person" view of them, you will end up with a pretty low-fidelity picture of who they are, and a pretty low-fidelity picture of how the world works. All of the characters in this book do things that you probably don't approve of. Some of those things might even make you dislike them. But all of the characters in this book are fun to spend time with.

There are two interesting tricks that Jason Pargin pulls in Black Box of Doom that played with my expectations. One of which comes near the beginning, and one of which comes near the middle. Anyway, this is the part of the review where I get into descriptions that are specific enough to feel like spoilers.

First, the part that you learn as you read the first chapter:

Part of what Pargin does with his blurb is invite you to consider: what kind of man would be brave or desperate enough to accept someone offering $100,000 in cash to transport a mysterious black box across the country with no phone or GPS? What kind of hardened badass would accept a deal that is obviously pulling him into a world full of legally-questionable shenanigans and people who are obviously up to no good, with the confidence that he'd be able to handle himself in that hardscrabble world and come out alive?

And the answer is that the main character is none of those things. He's not brave; he's cowardly. He's not strong; he's weak. In fact, that's how he gets roped into this situation: he's anxiety-ridden. He's really bad with confrontation; he doesn't know how to handle conflict. And that is why he essentially allows himself to get bullied into participating in this insane errand: he doesn't know how to put his foot down and say "no." He tries to take the path of least resistance, basically procrastinating on the task of saying "I'm sorry, I can't help you," thinking "maybe if I go along with this, there will be a better opportunity for me to say no later," and of course once the ball gets rolling he can't stop it.

So, in a sense, the main character is kind of the opposite of who you think he would be based on the elevator pitch, and it's funny, and yet true-to-life, and makes for a story full of ways to put that socially-anxious guy into all sorts of crazy situations that he things are way beyond his capacity. And yet, of course, he deals with all of them, as best he can, because he must, and that's what most of life is.

Then there's something we find out partway through the story, closer to around the middle of the book.

You see, Jason Pargin has done yet another head fake with the main character, leading us to think one way before revealing something that feels almost the opposite. There is a real sense in which this story starts off with a poor put-upon guy who is roped into traveling across the country with a mysterious woman. You spend a good portion of the early part of the book fearing for his safety. He's here, but he doesn't particularly want to be here, and it's deeply unfortunate that he's stuck with the woman who roped him into this tense and chaotic mess.

But this is a road trip novel, and as the story goes on, you get a better sense of who these characters are, the cowardly driver, and the woman who hired him. You see more and more glimpses of the sort of people they are as they confront various situations. And, over time, you shift from feeling like he's deeply unfortunate to be stuck here with her (and gosh I'm terrified of what might happen to him if things go wrong), to starting to think about how deeply unfortunate she is to be stuck with him (and gosh I'm terrified of what might happen to her if things go wrong).

Just in the same way the blurb book invites us to think, "what kind of brave or desperate person would accept this insane business proposition," we're also left to contemplate, "what kind of brave, desperate person would offer this kind of insane business proposition?" What kind of woman would find herself in a situation where she was hailing a Lyft, and then ambushing the driver to tell him that she was ready to pay him six figures, in cash, to drive her and a box to the other end of the country?

That is one of many questions that is answered by the text of the book. I enjoyed discovering the answer, and many of the other answers we encounter along the way.

[neuroticbookworm]

Boston and his "friends"

Last week, after I watched Boston get wrongfully branded by Atom as a sexual predator and isolated from the group, I was seething with rage and wanted to see Cheum, Mew and Ray to fall at Boston's feet and beg for his forgiveness after the truth comes out.

But today, honestly, I think it is a better character arc for Boston if he doesn't get that resolution from them. Because he fucking doesn't need it. He has defined a wonderful relationship with Nick, his first love, that will give him joy until he leaves for New York (cc @lurkingshan) and he has listened to Atom's grovelling apology. He has no other hangups tying him down.

Cheum, Ray and Mew, on the other hand, do not have the conviction to confront the truth in their relationships. They accused Boston of being duplicitous but none of them approaches their own problems with anything even remotely resembling a healthy communication.

Cheum heard her brother tell her that he lied about Boston taking advantage of him and all she could say was this:

She did not feel horrified that her brother chose to slander a friend, and she does not feel any remorse for her actions. I bet she thinks it's all fine because Boston is a slut anyway, he slept with Top and ruined Mew's relationship, so why does it matter that he was wrongfully accused this one time. Well, Cheum, it doesn't matter to him, but it will matter to you as you have not learned the integrity to face your mistakes and apologize for them. An apology should not be made expecting forgiveness in return, and it should not be valued based on the moral standing of the person you're apologizing to.

Mew. Oh, Mew, Mew, Mew. @lurkingshan pointed out during our post-episode conversation that Mew cannot stick to his schemes, he peters out at the first sign of stress and gives in to the status quo. He wanted to give Top a second chance, and then Boeing showed up. After understanding that Boeing is playing games for his own revenge-on-Top agenda, he initially goes along with it to spite Top. And after all the scheming has made both of them utterly miserable, he listens to his parents and finally decides to give Top an honest-to-goodness second chance. But, he doesn't give it after going through the painful process of self-reflection, and communication where both of them can set clear boundaries and understand where they each stand. Nope. Instead, they just casually agreed to push it away to deal with it in the future.

I declare my love for Theory of Love as loudly and passionately as I can whenever I get the chance on this hellsite, and one of the main reasons why I love that show so goddamn much is the conversation between Khai and Third in the Theory of Love Special Episode, where Khai admits that a girl kissed his neck at a party and how he tried so hard to keep Third from finding out. Third then tells him that he has known about the kiss the whole time, and how Khai need not worry; he knows the difference between an accident and a kiss with purpose. He then tells him that Khai is not the only one trying to make this relationship work, he is trying too, because Third also loves Khai and wants to be with him.

This is what healthy communication looks like. The issues and miscommunications must be tackled head-on and resolved before moving on, so they don't fester into an even bigger and more painful problem later. You can't "leave the problems to the future" and expect it to work itself out. In case y'all don't remember, Khai had to step on literal broken glass to stand his ground and plead his case after a miscommunication, and it was still not enough. That's how painful this process is and I will bet my bottom dollar that Mew has exactly zero percent of the fortitude it takes to talk through a relationship faux pas.

Ray, the human embodiment of a fucking dumpster fire. All he says to Sand after accusing him of taking money from his dad in exchange of taking care of him is "I'm sorry" and Sand immediately takes him back into his arms (I'm so embarrassed that I was briefly rooting for Sand at the start of the show). He does his community service with Sand for a hot minute and then immediately plans an overseas trip to whisk him away. He spells it out, yet again, how he is always looking to "buy" Sand (cc @wen-kexing-apologist)

Buying Sand, ya know, the exact same thing he was mad about, one episode ago.

Trying to prove that Ray's communication skills are severely subpar and unhealthy is like trying to prove that the water in the ocean is salty; the more time I spend on this, the stupider I would look.

All of this is a long winded way to say that Cheum, Mew and Ray will be too busy trying to escape their own trappings, the ones they built for themselves while they convinced self and each other that they are better than Boston; while Boston moves on with his life, living unapologetically as he always does. They can keep their apologies -- I don’t need it, and neither does Boston.

[krystalskeleton]

1992.11.11 – RAW Magazine Interview with Izzy

Music

"Yeah, music is partially my saving grace. It's been part of my life every day of the week since I was a kid. It doesn't have to be a specific type of music, it can be any type because the whole of it takes you away from the mundane, every day sort of thing.

"Being on tour, I find it like a luxury item because when I'm on tour I don't have a big stereo, I have a Sony player that cost 50 bucks, it's mono and it has this tiny speaker. For the first couple of days I only had my walkman which is fine for airplanes, but otherwise they're a drag. I found myself looking in the window of these shops at these stereos and there was this one in Chicago which was four and a half feet long and three feet tall. It was this boom box with neon lights inside it. It was really freaky looking, but I ended up getting this small Sony because it would fit in my bag, it plays cassettes and it records so I can write songs on it too. I find that if I hear a stereo now, even if it's a PA at gigs and they're playing a tape, it's a luxury and I really enjoy it."

Food

"Indian food and pizza are my favourites. I stopped eating meat a few years ago. I don't eat red meat or chicken, but I eat fish. I stopped eating meat shortly after I stopped drinking and using drugs. I think it was a case of wanting to heal myself a little quicker rather than objecting to meat, plus there were some cases on the West Coast where people were dying after they'd eaten bad meat. I'm big on salads. Salads in America are just a couple of bits of dead lettuce, but over here people are a bit more conscientious.

But Indian food and pizza are my favourites and that's why Chicago is like heaven to me because you can get a pizza delivered at 5am and it's damn good pizza. There's a place there called Mama Mia and they deliver all night long. They've got pizzas that are two inches thick with like a cracker crust with fresh tomatoes on top. "

Drink

"I like mango lassi and sweet lassi from Indian restaurants. My second would be fresh squeezed orange juice. Those are the only things I drink. I gave up drinking because I just had enough of waking up in my own vomit and not remembering who I was hanging out with the night before, getting arrested and all that stuff. Waking up in jail, and that sort of thing became old for me and I finally realised that I had to stop this and figure it all out. It wasn't easy and it took a while. I feel a lot better for not doing it."

Hate

"It's destructive in nature. Sometimes you can get angry, but it usually doesn't help fix anything. If I hate something I just get hung up on it and dwell on it. I find it easier to try and dismiss it. Otherwise it's extra baggage to be carrying around. You see hatred every day on the TV and some other places and that's enough for me, I don't need to live with it anymore."

Rock 'N' Roll

"It's that life blood. You can't put your finger on it. For me it's that other thing that only people who listen to it or love it know what it is. To the rest of the world though it probably doesn't mean shit!(laughs)

" The funniest thing I ever heard in Guns N Roses was from this guy in Canada called Gabe. God, he was hilarious! He said he saw something on English TV once that said no matter how many records Elton John sold in 1976, there were still 40 billion Chinese people that don't give a fuck and that rang so true to me- this was back in '86 so I've always kept it in mind. It's true. If you look at the globe and spin it and put your finger wherever it lands there's people there who don't know what Rock 'N' Roll is. For people who do love it, though, it's their whole life. For me it's very special.

" We used to have Rock 'N' Roll bands come to play at our house when I was a real young kid. My dad used to have these parties and me and my brothers were beer runners. The bands were always downstairs and I always hung out with them. When you're a kid and these guys would show to play stuff on the drums, it was great. They'd play stuff like (Credence Clearwater Revival's) 'Proud Mary'. I was lucky 'cos I got to grow up with that. I've been hooked on that ever since."

Drugs

"It's up to each person. It doesn't do any good to tell people not to do it. If people want to do 'em then they're gonna do 'em. All I can say is for myself they stopped being a good thing. It became a complete pain in the ass. It was destroying me as a person and I got to the point where I decided to give up. It wasn't like I didn't know 'cos you go through a peroid where you know you're tearing yourself up. I knew I had to stop or everything was gonna go down the tubes."

Sex

"It's pretty important, but to a lot of people it's hard to understand that it doesn't mean much unless you care about the person you're with. I'm lucky, 'cos I do."

Love

"It's a great thing. Everybody needs it and wants it. Life can be pretty bleak without it. I've got a German shepherd and I've had him since he was a puppy, ya' know. I bought him when he was just a twerp. He's three years old, he's healthy, he's big and he can run 40 miles an hour and he's great. I love my dog!

"I've had a steady girl for a few years and it's a great thing. Love makes life a lot easier."

Work

" I worked in a car wash when I was 15. I worked where the cars come out and you have to dry the cars off. In the winter time with the wind chill it can be 10 or 20 below zero, and that was real work getting up at five or six in the morning. It was cold and you've got these towels that are freezing and you're washing these fuckers off. Music is more something that you love to do so it doesn't seem like work. The thought of having to get a real job is difficult. I was never that good at keeping a straight job and getting enough money to do what I wanted to do. At the same time I had to work as a kid. If you gotta do it you do it.

" I've had different jobs. I worked in pizzerias and I actually enjoyed that. That was one job that didn't feel like work unless there was a gig or concert that I wanted to go to. In that case I'd leave work early anyway. I actually liked cooking pizzas, flipping the dough and stuff was cool.

"If I had to get another real job I would probably work in a pizzeria, or I'd work in the car wash and I'd be on the front end. The front end is where the guys would pump gas and vacuum the cars, and these guys were always the envy of everyone else who had it rough. This was back in the '70s when people would drive around with big joints in their cars. They'd smoke half a joint and leave the rest so that when one guy pulls up with half a joint in his ashtray, what happens to the joint? It ends up in the pocket of the guys who are up front who'd smoke them! I think I'd rather work in a pizza place though where it's warm and there's music."

Photo © Paul Jendrasiak, 1993

[a-very-tired-jew]

To Eat Your Own

Anyone who has been involved in activist spaces, politics, and pushed for equity in any capacity is well aware of how quickly any of these groups can (and will) turn on itself. Often this is due purity politics and "No True Scotsman" logic. If you don't agree 100% with what each individual member, not just leadership, thinks and believes then you're not part of the group. If any action doesn't meet the criteria of certain individuals then they will raise hell, complain, splinter off into more radical camps, and/or they will try and ruin someone. In this case, I have seen Leftists and Progressives go after John Fetterman for his support of Israel. Now...they were goin after him prior to this as he met with Jewish groups in PA during his run for Senate. This is not new. How do I know? I'm from Philly. I grew up there. My family is from there. My family business is there. I worked in delis there to make my way through college. I have been a part of most major progressive movements and groups for over two decades and I know most of the big players in these spaces. There has long been an antisemitic undertone to Leftist groups in PA that trade in the standard conspiracy theories. These do differ from Right Wing replacement theories and instead focus on the good ole "Jews control the money" as it is couched in anti-Capitalist language. Other antisemitic conspiracies are also often couched in Leftist language as well. As such, these people openly enjoy Jewish culture, food, and business while also believing that the people behind it are "evil Jews Capitalists Zionists". It does not help that many of the safe spaces that Leftists attend are owned or co-owned by Jewish business people (e.g. Tabu). PA has one of the largest Jewish populations in the USA outside of NYC and NJ. It has long been established and there's so much Jewish culture that has made its way into Eastern PA culture that you'd have to actively work to avoid it. However, because it has become a part of the mainstream culture, a lot of people take for granted the actual presence of the Jewish community and/or don't understand how large it is. So what does this have to do with Fetterman? Take a look at this rant from today.

Fig. 1. User rants about Fetterman and calls him an Imperialist. Prior to 10/7 someone like this would be praising Fetterman for appearing "disheveled" and fighting against the status quo's emphasis on a dress code. His disrespectful nature and calling out of Republicans in Congress was highly praised. His voting record was also praised. But now? Now that he supports Israel, he's bad. He's no longer the Leftist's ideal politician, but instead a representation of the "evil Zionist agenda". Fetterman is from PA. That means he grew up in a state that has Jewish culture and identity woven throughout it. He knows Jews. He's worked with Jews. Jews have influenced his politics and identity as much as he has them. But this person likely doesn't understand that. They mention Fetterman and Casey so I know they're from PA, and they mentioned calling Fetterman as their rep. But they, like most others, don't understand much regarding Jews and their impact on their state, politics, media, and belief. Fetterman does and that's why he is such a supporter of Israel and the Jewish Diaspora. But because he supports the "Big Bad Zionist Entity" he is now no longer a Progressive/Leftist. In fact, Fetterman himself has said he no longer identifies as a progressive Democrat, but simply as a Democrat. All because of the rise in rampant antisemitism on the Left. This is how you lose politicians and leaders who support your ideals. Let's step away from Israel for a second and look at Fetterman and what he supports vs the people going after him. Both parties actively support LGBTQ+ rights, equity movements, choice, and so on. But Fetterman is not supporting a terrorist group that actively suppresses and/or kills people belonging to these groups or campaigning for them, the activists are in the name of "Resistance". Contradictions and cognitive dissonance are viable forms of politics if you want to make change. They are viable forms of ideology and belief though, and because this conflict has become an ideological war full of antisemitic hate, conspiracy theories, and downright vitriolic lies...it makes sense that the pedestal they put Fetterman on has crumbled. (Also note that this person is 22. Again, age plays a major factor in activist spaces and I will refer you back to one of my other writings for those thoughts.)