#i don't think if i moved company it would help. it might get worse.

[sciderman]

i opened tumblr during lunch and the first thing i saw was peter parker britney spears. two of my friends stared at my phone and audibly went “oh” thank you for the blessing

i've had so many people tell me "sci. the only thing i know about you is spider-man and britney spears". and i think that's all there is. you're welcome.

[tttt06]

Hiii again , may I please request an angst to smut with Mr. Bangchan . Where y/n is a physical therapist in South Korea for mainly kpop idols. And she basically best friends with Bangchan and many other artist too. Y/n basically is in love with Chan but she pushes those feeling away because she feel like she doesn’t deserve or isn’t good enough for them. Plus she in experience with love. Bang Chan also loves her but feels like he doesn’t deserve her love either and think being with him is bad. Basically they both would do anything for enough other except be with each other. But one day y/n can no longer take it and decide to move away from South Korea and is threatened to confess to Bangchan. After she confess she leaves and he does everything to find her. And once he does mega hot lovemaking smut 🥹

Oh It would be an honor!

Chase Me

IdolBangChan x PhysicalTherapist

Black Reader

Request are open! I reply quickly. Masterlist here

Synopsis~ Y/N's dream was to be a physical therapist. She enjoyed helping people. When she got the opportunity to work in Korea, she took it as a way to explore the world. She worked primarily with Idols. Getting close to Chan specifically.

Warnings~ Angst, slow burn, smut, rough, praise kink. Body image problems. Use of 'nigga' WE BLACK SO WE SAY IT!

Word Count~ 11.7K

I dug into Vernon's leg to relieve the strain. "You tell me the next time you feel pain here. We might need to do more physical therapy in the future."

He nodded as he scrolled through his phone. He was lying on his stomach while scrolling through Twitter. 

I threw him a piece of candy, and he ate it. "Thanks. I told Seungcheol about you. His ACL recently got torn, and he could need a physical therapist when he gets out of the hospital."

"Ouch, that sounds painful. How is Seungcheol doing?" He sighed, "He's been in and out of surgeries." 

I smiled, "He'll be okay though. I can help him with ease." 

I walked him to the front desk so he could set up his next appointment. 

I walked to my office to type in my chart findings and looked at my schedule for my next patient. 

Chan was next on the list. 

Chan was the first client I got. I've gotten close to him over the years. I love to pretend to be professional, but he knows I'm just as silly as him.

Chan reported problems with his neck. He injured his neck a long time ago and was almost paralyzed. I've worked with him to make sure he is staying healthy. 

I finished up my paperwork and walked to the patient's room. Chan was sitting on the chair as I smiled. "Hey! How have you been?!" 

Chan's smile lit up when he saw me. His dimples popped out as he said, "I would say good, but I am here."

I laughed, "Right. Now, can you go over the problem again?" He nodded and then winced. "My neck. I've been getting worse cramps there than usual." 

I asked as I walked closer to touch his neck. "Hm, have you been sleeping?" He laughed, "I've been working on our album and practice." 

I nodded, "riiighhtt..." I purposely elongated to mock him.

I continued, "Chan, it won't get better if you don't rest up. I can help for quick relief, but if you keep going at this, I'll call your company and tell them to make you take time off."

I crossed my arms as I watched the fear bubble in his eyes. I asked, "You want me to be the bad guy?" He shook his head and then whinced again.

I sighed and walked over, quickly massaging into the muscles. Chan always had big muscles, but I felt Chan was getting bigger. 

Exercising without enough sleep can cause more problems. Causing you to feel restless instead of better.

"Have you been working out with Changbin?" He smiled, "Eh, well... No. He's crazy in the gym." 

I quirked an eyebrow as I hit the spot that hurt. Chan groaned under my touch, and my face heated up. I bit my lip and closed my eyes. 

It was unprofessional and wrong as a friend. It turned me on when Chan groaned.

"He knows how to work out without hurting himself." I pulled away and smiled at him. "When you're working on, let's say, your shoulders, don't put so much strain on your neck. It causes more problems. Rest, eat well, and please don't come in here with easily fixable problems."

I tossed him a piece of candy, and he groaned, "Can I take you out to a meal. For a thank you?" 

I paused as my face got hot. "That wouldn't be professional of me."

He laughed, "It's just a thank you for keeping me healthy. The boys don't boss me around as much since I moved to your therapy."

I smiled and turned to pack up. "It's my job, Chan." He laughed reluctantly. "Yeah. Just let me buy you lunch sometime." 

I turned back to him, "Why not." He smiled, "Yay! Thank you!" He hugged me tightly. 

I laughed, "See you at your next appointment." He smiled and walked out. 

I sighed, checking to see the rest of my schedule. I had Yunjin and an older woman. 

The rest of the day would be easy. I walked to the lunch room to see my co-worker and best friend, Hwan.

We both moved to this clinic around the same time. We took each other out for meals and grew closer. 

"You have fun today?" I quirked an eyebrow, "What are you saying?" He smiled, "Your crush on Bang Chan? Did you have fun touching him? Remember what you said? You liked it when he groaned and-"

I covered his mouth, "You close your freaking mouth!" 

He smiled, "Ooh, I made her mad! Y/N, you never get mad." 

I squinted at him, "I don't like to get upset over idiots." 

Hwan laughed, "Geez, and you're getting mean. What happened to the shy Y/N?" I rolled my eyes, "Be quiet, Hwan."

I threw my keys on the counter and answered my ringing phone. "Hey, Mom." She smiled, "Hey! How's my favorite daughter?" I said, "I'm your only daughter, Mom." 

I could hear the smile in her voice, "Well, your troublemaker brother isn't anything like you." I smiled, "Don't compare us, Mom. Miles is his own person."

She sighed, "I guess. Miles is getting into more trouble at school these days." I smiled, "Well, he's a teen. Expect him to drink and smoke, fight, and go crazy. He's young." 

My Mom laughed, "How did I raise such an easy-going daughter and intense son? You two are opposites." 

I let my shoulder hold my phone to my ear as I threw off my shoes. "I don't know, Mom. How are you doing, though?" 

She laughed, "I'm okay. I'm your Mom. I'm always okay." 

My Dad died recently. My little brother Miles had been acting out because of it. My Mom suffers from back problems that make it hard for her to work for long periods of hours. 

So, when I got my job, I started giving them money to take care of them. It's hard for me too. It feels lonely and empty here, so I can only imagine how it feels on the other end. 

I focus on work and only work for my family. I can't lie. It hurts to think about my Dad. My Mom said I got his personality running through my blood. 

He was a Doctor. He died from a disease that spread in the hospital. We couldn't even see him. The entire hospital was contaminated. 

I got myself out of those thoughts, "You make sure you take care of yourself. I love you, Mom, I have to finish some work stuff, and I'm heading to bed." She sighed, "My little busy bee. I love you, too. Be safe, okay?" 

I smiled, "It's okay, Mom. I work in physical therapy." "I know. I just... I worry." Tears pricked inside my eyes. "I'm okay, Mom." She sniffled, "Okay, bye, baby." "Bye, Mom." I hung up and wiped the tears from my eyes.

I can't call my Mom like before. She reminds me of my Dad, and it hurts. 

I need a distraction. 

I showered and sat at my computer with a glass of wine. I looked through my schedule for tomorrow and took notes for the next day. 

One less thing to worry about. 

I sighed as I leaned back in my chair. I got a text.

.

.

.

Hwan Sauce

We going out tonight?🗣

Hwan Sauce

FUCK ANSWER! I'M BORED AND WANT TO GET FOOD AND A DRINK!🗣🗣😫😫

Hwan Sauce

I have to gossip in person😍😍

You

How are you a straight male

Hwan Sauce

Stfu, meet me at the regular.😁

You

It's literally 9:30 meaning bedtime😅

Hwan Sauce

I'll get you home by 10🧑🏼‍🦲

You

okay fine.

.

.

.

I'm too nice.

Hwan was drunk, and it was 11:46pm. I snuck him water, and he drank. "Shit, I can't even taste alcohol anymore." 

I blinked, "I don't feel like letting you sleep on my couch."

I waved to our waiter, "Can you help me carry him to my car?" 

He nodded and helped me to the car. "Does your boyfriend get drunk like this often?" I looked at the tall waiter, "He's not my boyfriend. Just a close friend."

He nodded, "Ah, so do you have a boyfriend?" I shook my head, "I'm just a lonely girl."

He laughed, "Could I have your number then?" My eyes widened, "Oh... well, no. I'm not looking for anything with anyone." 

He smiled, "It could be casual." 

Hwan started to gag and threw up right on the waiter. "Oh my god. I'm sorry. I think he has a spare shirt in his car-" 

He looked at the puke, disgusted. There was a tinge of anger, "No, It's fine. This is fucking disgusting! C'mon, dude!" I looked at Hwan, "Don't yell at my friend." I climbed into the truck and slammed the door.

As I began to drive off, Hwan confessed, "I totally puked on him on purpose." I laughed, "I know you did. I don't like aggressive men anyway." 

Hwan said with slurs, "Yeah, he was pushy as hell!" I looked at Hwan and gave him my half-filled water bottle. 

He drank it with no problem. "Thanks for letting me rant about my sad relationship." 

I looked at Hwan before paying attention to the road again. "Yeah... it was a good distraction."

He glanced at me, "What do you mean? You okay?" I nodded with assurance all over my face. "Perfectly okay. Just thought this was entertaining."

He whined, "You don't care about me!" I laughed, "Hwan, shush." He shut up as we drove to my place.

The alarm blared in my ear as I woke up. Hwan was already up and walking in and out of my bathroom. "Hey! Where are my clothes when I need them?" I groaned and threw the covers over my head.

"Be quiet, Hwan." He smiled, "We have work!" I groaned. Hwan pulled the covers from my body, and I looked at him with anger burning in my eyes. 

"Are you serious?!" 

Hwan laughed, "Good morning. Now, where are my clothes?" I got up and stomped to the closet. I opened the drawer, and he pulled out his slacks and shirt. 

"Okay, thanks!" 

I sighed as I walked to my bathroom to get ready.

I got in the shower and did my makeup. Hwan was relaxing in my living room. "How are you okay after drinking your water weight last night?"

Hwan shrugged, "I took your meds." I pulled on my pants and walked to the door. "Put your shoes on, and let's go. You are not operating any machines until I give you an IV drip."

His lips turned into a thin line as he followed me. I called my little brother, and he answered on the second ring. "Hey, big sis. Heavy on the big." 

I climbed in the car, "Mom told me you're getting in trouble at school."

He laughed, "Yeah. What do you want me to say? Dad's death devastated me." 

I went silent. I held in the bubbling anger that was rising in me. 

Bringing up Dad like that is really messed up.

"You're the man of the house now. Stop hurting Mom more than she already is. She's hurting, too, idiot. I'll be visiting in a month. Please don't destroy anything before then."

I hung up on him and drove off. Hwan was silent for a while. 

"So... what's been going on with you and your brother? He usually listens to you."

I sighed deeply, "Our Dad died a couple months ago. He's been hurting."

Hwan furrowed his eyebrows and said, "Wh-what? You didn't tell me." I smiled, "I know. I don't want to talk about him."

Hwan said, "We don't have to." 

I nodded, "That would be preferred."

When we arrived at the office, a present was on my desk. It was a little lunch and an envelope.

I read it over. 

I know this is kind of short notice, but our Fanmeeting is in two days. Could you make it? 

-Bang Chan.

I looked at the food. It was homemade. I smiled, "Jesus, this guy is desperate."

I sat in my chair and texted Chan.

.

.

.

You

My answer is maybe

Chansome

Just MAYBE?! 🙁

You

It's hard to call off work.

Chansome

C'MONNN Y/N! WE'RE LITERALLY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

You

I'll ask Hwan if he can cover my shift

Chansome

yeah ask whoever that guy is.

You

'Whoever that guy is' Is the deciding factor of whether or not I'm coming to your fan meeting

Chansome

Right right. Thank 'whoever that guy is' 🧎🏻‍♂️🧎🏻‍♂️

You

LOL

.

.

.

I scooted from my desk and walked to Hwan's office. "Hwannie!" He looked at me, shocked. "What the hell. Why are you acting cute?" 

I smiled, "Can you do me a big favor? I'll take your Saturday night shift if you take my Friday shift."

He quirked an eyebrow, "A full weekend off? Hmm... why?" I looked to the left and then right.

"What are you hiding?" I laughed, "Chan invited me to a fan meeting!" 

His eyes widened, "He's literally in love with you. Please tell me this is like his version of a date." 

I sighed, "No. This is just Chan asking for support from his physical therapist. There's no way he likes me."

The crowd of people walked to their seats. I didn't realize it, but Chan gave me a VIP pass. I sat in my seat as I watched the eight of them run up to the stage.

They performed so well. I was proud of them, they always worked so hard, and nobody knows just how much.

Being in physical health, I see how much they all decline.

But, I'm always there to pick them back up.

When the Skzoo's came out, I smiled. Wolf Chan looked identical to the shorter man next to him.

I let out a long sigh as I looked at Seungmin attempting to fight the Skzoo's.

Quokka was in the background on all fours throwing it back. I covered my mouth in shock as I laughed. I looked at all the smiling faces.

These boys don't make just me happy. They make everyone happy.

I watched til the very end. There was never a dull moment as they performed. It was fun to watch, but it came to an end as good things always do.

I got a text message from Chan.

.

.

.

Bang Chan

Hey, wait up for me? We should talk! I wanna see you!"

You

I can't... I have an early shift tomorrow. I took it for Hwan

Bang Chan

When's the next time we can see each other. I have a free Sunday night.

You

Yeah, let's do that.

.

.

.

Bang Chan's POV

"Han! I NEED HER IN MY LIFE!"

Han rolled his eyes, "Man, I really don't care. I'm trying to add the baseline to the song. If you don't mind, talk to Changbin."

I fell on Binnie's shoulder. "Please!" Changbin asked bluntly, "Weren't you complaining about how you can't date her because of your career. Why are you doing this to yourself?" 

I sighed, "I know. I think I'll ruin Y/N... but I really want her. She's so sweet."

Changbin nudged Han, "Is she?"

Han nodded, "I've been to the office. She's as sweet as can be."

I mentioned, "When I talked to her, she didn't even curse. She doesn't swear! We were talking on a personal level, too. She's like the perfect angel. Have you seen how poofy her hair gets, too? She's a beautiful woman who always has a smile on her face."

Changbin wiggled his eyebrows, "Oh really."

I rolled my eyes, "Are we teasing me now?"

Han laughed, "Hyung, you have a crush on someone but don't want to date them? That makes no sense." 

Changbin added, "It's the beginning of a situationship." 

I sighed, "I like it the way it is. I don't want to go farther with her because I'll ruin her smile. But, I'm selfish."

Han started humming, and it caught my attention. "Guys, I have a plot for the song."

Han quirked an eyebrow, "Really, we're making songs about your love life now?"

"Ooh, I like it. Ooh, ooh, I like it, like it!" Changbin got serious, "Write that shit down."

It sped to Sunday quickly. I was getting ready for the dinner Chan set up. It was at this new restaurant that everyone was raving about. 

Yunjin -my client- talked about it the last time I saw her.

Hwan wanted to go with me. He's gonna be upset when he finds out I was here with Chan first.

A line was outside, but a guard asked, "Do you have a reservation?" I nodded, "It should be under Channie." He brought me over to the very stressed Hostess upfront. 

I smiled, "You're doing great! I used to Host and wait tables. This looks stressful." I looked at all the people waiting in the lobby.

She smiled, "Your table is ready, ma'am. I appreciate the reassurance." I gave her a thumbs-up as she grabbed the menu for me. 

She said, "I didn't expect it to be so busy on a Sunday night. We have over 200 reservations tonight."

I furrowed my eyebrows, "Wow, that's crazy. Are you the lead Host here?"

She nodded, "I worked here since I was 16, I'm turning 19 this year. So, I know this place, in and out."

I smiled, "Wow, that's dedication. Hoping you got a raise." She smiled as she stopped at the table. Chan was sitting there, both his big hands in his lap.

I smiled, "Oh! We're here! Well, good luck with the door!" She smiled and bowed, "Thank you! Good luck with dinner." She winked and walked away.

I looked at Chan, "You know her? Patient?" I looked at the ghost of her and furrowed my eyebrows. "Why would you think that?" 

Chan laughed, "You were talking like best buds. You're so sweet." I laughed nervously.

I'm too nice. I didn't want to make Chan beg. But I don't want to be here, honestly. It takes up my time, which is good. I love a good distraction. But this is obviously a date of some sort.

"Did Changbin finally visit your office like I've told him to?" I shook my head, "It's okay. I just got a new patient. He's in pretty bad shape."

Chan nodded, "Vernon told me. Cheol and his torn ACL. It's pretty bad, huh? He can't even walk."

I smiled, "Can't say." He closed his mouth, "Right, HIPPA." I laughed, "How's work?" He smiled, "We're about to start the tour, and we're already working on the new album."

I smiled, "Really? That's interesting." I said, "If I distinctly remember, I told you to rest." 

I blinked in annoyance as Chan stopped in his tracks. "I'm relaxing right now... your aura is very relaxing."

I smiled, "That's why I'm a Physical Therapist."

He laughed, "Okay, now. Have you seen Solo Leveling? I've been recommending it to you for a while now."

I laughed, "I've been trying to fit it in, but I've had a hectic week."

Chan smiled as the waiter came over. We ordered our food and went back to the conversation. "But you're going to watch it, right? Do you have Crunchyroll? I can give you my account." I smiled, "As much as I'd love that, I can provide for myself."

My phone started to buzz, and I checked it. "One sec, I'm getting paged."

I got up and walked to the bathroom to answer the call. "Hi, this is Y/N speaking?" 

The deep voice played through the phone, "This is Director Hong. I'm calling because we've considered you for a promotion. It's for the Regional Director in the US clinic." I paused, "What..."

Director Hong said, "I'll give you time to think. Just call us back and let us know. Thank you."

I started to shake. I was on the brink of screaming. I got the dream job! It would give me an excuse to move back to America with my family and make more money.

Hwan is going to be so excited for me. 

I ran back to my seat and confessed right away, "CHAN! I got a promotion!" His smile rose, "Really?! That's great news! What's the position?!" 

I opened my mouth and then closed it again.

If I accept the offer, I won't be able to treat Chan anymore. He'd have to switch to Hwan.

"Regional director for the clinic in the US." My voice suddenly lost excitement. The smile was still bright on my face. 

"Oh? The States. That's where you're originally from, yeah?" I nodded, "I got a job offer there."

Chan nodded along, "Does this job pay more?" I nodded, "Yeah, it does." I could see the struggle in his eyes. Chan told me, "You should take the job offer."

The smile stayed on my face. Unlike Chan, I knew how to poker face my way out of feelings. 

Fake it til you make it, right?

"I'll hold off. At least until I can get my new patient up and running again." Chan asked, "Why?"

I'd like to know myself. I like Chan. He makes me feel seen and horny. Really, really horny. Chan was the gentle type.

I liked how pretty his lips were, how big he was, how smiley he was, those dimples, his kiddishness. I liked everything down to his flaws. 

If he had any.

I didn't want to leave him. It's crazy, and as much as I like to play cat and mouse with Chan. I'm afraid to catch feelings any more intense than 'like'. 

I'm already in pain. I don't want this to ruin our small friendship. Even though he's trying to incorporate me more into his life, I can tell it's because of his interest in me.

I want him to want me back.

Chan's voice broke my inner thoughts, "Earth to Y/N. Woah... you were in your thoughts."

Bang Chan's POV

I allowed her to be in her thoughts. 

The waiter came back with the food. I waited for her to eat first since she was younger. It's a personal tradition I spread to my teammates. She didn't even take notice of it.

She was thinking so deeply to herself, and as the frown on her face sunk deeper, I figured out what she was thinking about.

She doesn't want to leave her job.

"Earth to Y/N. Woah... you were in your thoughts."

She wouldn't want me to see her frown like that. 

But she shocked me, "I'm upset now. We should call it a night."

Honesty. I didn't expect Y/N to be honest about her being upset. 

I thought she was the kind of girl to hide it all away, but she was honest.

"Oh, okay. Yeah, I'll ask for the check and some boxes."

She shook her head, "Wait, no dessert?" I smiled, "That's my girl." Her eyes widened, "Oh."

I quirked an eyebrow and looked at her. She was such a cutie. She was sweet, adorable, and honest. She was starting to check all the boxes.

I waved down the waiter, and we put an order in to-go.

The dinner wasn't silent. Y/N still took the initiative to talk, but she was stale.

Once we made our way out, I offered, "How are you getting home? I know you don't usually drive."

Her bright smile flashed in my eyes. "Uber." I shook my head, "I'll drive."

She furrowed her eyebrows, and her face went into a cute pout, "You already paid for my meal!"

I said, "Y/N, let's be real here. I'm rich."

She sighed, exhausted. "Fine." She lugged behind me and sat in the passenger seat. 

I asked, "Why don't you drive?" 

She was silent as she pulled on her seatbelt. "Son of chicken strip!"

She mumbled under her breath. I leaned over and put her seatbelt on with ease. When I looked up, her eyes were so much bigger up close. She looked so pretty like this. I felt her let out a heavy breath, and I pulled away.

Y/N said, "I-i'm sorry. What did you say?" I again asked, "Why don't you drive?" She sighed, "I don't drive unless I have to. My mom put me in place of picking up my brother, and a car crashed into us. He was in the hospital for a day or two. I feel guilty. I don't trust myself to drive. On top of that, I can't afford a car right now."

I glanced at her. It was terrifying that she could tell that story with an even tone and smile. 

"Wait, where do you live? I've just been driving."

She grabbed my phone and guessed the password on the first try. She put in her address, and I looked up Y/N, shocked. 

"How the hell did you guess my password?" She shrugged, "You're predictable."

I sighed and drove to the destination.

When we arrived at the front of the apartments, she was already grabbing her things. No conversation, no look in my eyes, nothing. 

I called out, "Wait."

I watched her leave the car. Y/N turned around and said, "Thank you for driving me here! I appreciate it." 

I asked in desperation, "When can I see you again?" 

She smiled sweetly, "You're starting your tour next week. You tell me." 

Right, I forgot about that.

I blinked, "I'm free in three weeks."

Her smile didn't fade, "I'm on vacation next month."

I raised an eyebrow, "Really? Where are you going?" 

She was about to speak, but she decided to not answer with the truth. 

"Just to see family."

I didn't want to push, but I really wanted to know. I'm nosy.

I bit my lip and fell back into my seat, "Alright, see you when you get back."

Y/N's POV

I pulled in my luggage as I was welcomed into my childhood home. I've been working hard to make sure this house stays together. 

My Mom walked with careful steps to the couch. "Mom, I told you I could've taken an Uber."

She shook her head, "Nonsense! My baby needs valet!" I laughed as I lifted my heavy bag up to my room. I peeked at Miles's room to see it empty. 

I shouted, "Mom! Where's Miles?!"

She yelled back, "Basketball practice!" 

I nodded. I'm proud that Miles's been disciplined enough to keep up with his passions.

When I walked into my childhood room, memories came rushing back. It was so upsetting to think about everything I used to do.

I had so many passions. But they all were lost after my Dad died. 

The picture of him and I was still on my nightstand, but the photo was cracked and facing down.

I know I didn't do that. 

Miles likes to hide how he's feeling. He secretly cares so much, but he feels awkward showing it. I wouldn't be surprised if Miles barged inside my room. I wouldn't be surprised if he saw that photo and lashed out. I know he misses me and Dad.

Just like he can read me like an open book, I can read him too.

I was quick to take a shower and run back downstairs.

My Mom said, "Okay, I know you came here to help me with your brother, but I have a present for you."

I smiled, "Mom, I came here to aid you."

She smiled, "That's sweet." I sighed calmly. "I heard surprise." 

She excitedly got up, and it hurt to see the scars peeking from under her shirt from the countless surgeries.

My Mom couldn't even walk the same.

I didn't tell Chan the full story of what happened that night.

I was the car that got crashed into, but my Mom crashed into my car because I was backing up too fast. My Mom messed up her back and caused her to have to get countless surgeries.

I said, defeated, "Mom, please. Next time you need something, tell me to get it like you used to."

She laughed as she waddled back over. "Nah. I'll just do it myself, honey. Now look."

I grabbed the locket from her hand. "It's hand-crafted jewelry. It's made from your Dad's ashes. Open it."

I opened the locket. Inside the locket lay two pictures. One was from my 1st birthday, and the other was a picture of me at college graduation. It was my favorite memory of my Dad.

He was more excited about graduating than me. He wouldn't stop saying how proud he was, how happy he was. He was so excited for me.

The tears started streaming down my face, and I held my Mom close. 

"Y/N! Oh my god! I've never seen you cry like this." 

All the emotions I was holding in came out.

She smelled like my Mom, but she still had that faint smell of Dad on her. I let my neck go deeper into the crook of her neck, and I said, "I really miss Dad. I really miss him a lot."

I bit my lip and pulled away. My Mom's eyes looked so big as she wiped my tears.

I smiled, "Thank you, Mom."

She smiled, but the worry in her eyes wasn't missed. 

Just then, the door opened, and I wiped my tears and put on my poker face. 

Miles came in, bouncing his basketball in the house. My Mom yelled, "What did I tell you about bouncing that damn ball in my house?!" 

I held in my laugh as my brother saw me. Miles stopped in his tracks as he scanned me.

He took a quick first step, letting me know he was about to run. But then, he stopped. He walked over to me calmly and dapped me up. "Why were you crying, sis?" 

I looked at his eyes. My eyes widened from the realization. 

Smart kid.

I shook my head, "Don't worry about it."

He glanced at the necklace in the box on the couch. He turned back to me and sighed. "What are you even doing here?" I crossed my arms, "To keep you in check. No going out tonight. Stay your behind in this house until tomorrow morning. We're having brunch together."

He rolled his eyes, " 'Behind.'" He mocked. 

Miles continued, "You have no weight in your words because you don't curse, Y/N."

I rolled my eyes, "Say whatever. I don't curse because of my morale."

My Mom smiled, "Quit bickering and go to sleep. I know you're jetlagged, Y/N."

I made my way to my room. 

I sat in my bed, and there was no way I was sleeping. I just slept 14 hours on the plane.

I lifted the photo of me and my Dad and wiped the dust from the cracked glass.

I heard rustling in the hallways, and I looked at the door. Miles was standing there in sweats and a white tee.

"And where the heck do you think you're going?" Miles blinked at me. "To mind my fucking business."

I grabbed his arm and threw him in my room. I closed the door and locked it. "You aren't going anywhere. And, before you ask. Yes. I will stay up and watch you. I have jetlag. I won't be falling asleep until 3pm tomorrow."

He sighed, "Rebecca Miller is throwing a party tonight... hot chicks will be there!"

I quirked an eyebrow, "And what do you plan on doing with these 'hot chicks?'" "More than anything you've ever experienced." 

I rolled my eyes, "I am not talking about my sex life with my little brother." He said, "I won't talk about mine with you either! Let me go." I laughed, "No. I can officially say... I pay the bills! Therefore, my house, my rules. Go to bed." I tucked him in, and I smelled his cologne.

"Why are you wearing cologne- you know what?... never mind."

I sat on my chair and watched him. 

His eyes traveled to the picture on my nightstand, and he rolled over. It was silent for about thirty minutes before his voice cracked, "I'm sorry for breaking your picture with Dad."

The smile crept on my face as I crossed my arms in satisfaction. "It's fine, Miles. Just go to bed."

He stopped talking for another five minutes before saying, "I really miss Dad." That made me frown as the solemn air crept into my room. "I miss him too, Miles."

Miles fell asleep quickly. He started complaining about how hard it is to sleep when someone is watching him. 

When I woke him up, he moved like a mummy. He walked to his room, and I started getting up myself. I showered and put on some better clothes for the morning. I exited my room to see my Mom in a cute yellow sundress.

"Period, Mom! You look gorgeous!" She smiled and reached for the necklace. "You're wearing it." I smiled back, "I want to keep him close to my heart."

After waking Miles up again and arguing over brunch, we went home. I was exhausted from the day. I went straight to sleep in my mom's bed.

I hadn't woken up until 7 pm. When I finally woke back up, I walked to the kitchen. My mom was looking in the fridge for something to cook. 

I smiled, "I can help you cook. What are you making?"

She sighed, "Just some hot wings with yellow rice. I'm trying to find some greens, though."

I mentioned, "I got it. I know how to cook that. I remember all your recipes."

She looked shocked. "Sit, and you can boss me around like you want to." She sat at the island chairs and watched. I grabbed the hot sauce and bowl. I eyeballed the measurements as she made conversation.

"I think Miles has a girlfriend." I looked up at her through my reading glasses. "Yeah? If he does, he's a cheater. He was trying to sneak out last night and go to a party with 'hot chicks.'" 

She scoffed, "I can't believe my kid." I laughed as I turned on the stove. I measured the water with rice and put it in the pot. Next was the broccoli. I went into the freezer, opened the corner of the bag, and shoved a stick of butter in it. I put it in the microwave for 2 minutes.

"What about you, baby? You have a boyfriend?" I smiled, "There is someone. He's one of my clients, though. He's too famous for me. I'm pretty sure he goes out and talks to real women all the time."

My mom smiled, "What makes you think you're not a real woman?"

My mouth went to a thin line. "I am... I've never had any dating experience, Mom. Like, at all."

She sighed, "Bless your heart."

I furrowed my eyebrows as I slowly put the wings into the oil.

I said, "Mom, should I ask him out?" She smiled, "You know my answer will be yes."

I sighed, "He just makes me feel so important! And he's sweet and gentle. He makes me feel like I'm about to burst!" 

She laughed, "Sounds like me and your Dad."

I looked at her eyes. There was this bittersweet feeling in her tone. "You only live once. That's what Dad used to say." She nodded, "One of my kids is taking those words too literally. I'm glad you're using them right."

I laughed, "Yeah. I think you're right. I'm gonna ask Chan out."

She smiled. The timer for the microwave went off. I opened the bag and let it cool before opening it. I checked on the rice to see it wasn't ready.

I was back on the plane. As soon as the plane landed, I had an appointment to be at. One was Seungcheol's, and the other was Changbin's first appointment.

I was excited to see Hwan, too. As I exited the plane, Hwan was waving his banner at me. "No way. You're embarrassing."

He smiled, "C'mon! Let's go to work!" I got in his car. The drive there was long, but we made it in time.

I smiled as I looked at the foggy sky. 

I miss the clear sky, but I've gotten used to the foggy one I called home.

I looked at Hwan, "So how was it?" I smiled, "My brother cried when I left. I knew he missed me."

He laughed, "I missed you too!" I looked at my best friend, Hwan. I can't believe I've known since I was 19. I'm 24 now and working my dream job.

We got to the office, and Seungcheol sat in the waiting room. "You're really early!" Cheol smiled, "Just wanted to get out of here fast."

I smiled, "Okay, well, today is just showing me what I'm working with."

I wheeled him to my room. "Can I see?" He lifted his pants, and I saw the surgical scabs. "Jesus." He laughed, "I know. It's bad."

I sighed, "Stop being so reckless." He pouted like a puppy. Wow, hey, so he's adorable.

Not as cute as Chan, though.

I moved that thought down.

"I'm gonna start with something that might hurt a lot, but can you move your leg 20 degrees." 

He looked down at his legs. I carefully touched his leg. "Your hands are warm." I laughed, "Yeah?" "Usually, the nurse's hands are always cold."

I smiled, "We're not in the hospital, Cheol. Also, I'm a physical therapist. You get better results with warm hands." I helped him lift his leg a teeny bit. "Talk through the pain, okay?"

Cheol spoke with obvious strain, "Vernon was right to recommend you. You are a good therapist."

I smiled, "Thank you. Could you please lift a little more higher?"

He shook his head, "I think I might die."

I nodded, "That's okay. For now, we'll keep the leg elevated. But it's your job to make sure to switch positions every hour. Your knee needs to get used to bending against the metal."

He said worriedly, "I'll be able to walk and stuff?" I looked up at Cheol, "Yes. However, I wouldn't recommend performing until you can sit on your knees."

His eyebrows furrowed, "Agh. Okay." I laughed at his disappointment, "Be happy you'll walk. Not many people can say they could walk the same after tearing an ACL."

He sighed, "Yeah, I know." He sounded so disappointed. I chucked him a piece of candy, and he caught it. "Ooh, candy!" I sighed, "This is my business card. You call me if you're in ANY pain. Even if it's minor."

He nodded, "Same thing the doctor told me." I laughed, "Doctor Riggins? That piece of poop. He tells all his clients to only call me because he hates answering the phone. Lazy man."

He laughed, "You know him?" I nodded, "I worked at that hospital for a study." He smiled, and I wheeled him to the front desk. "Is someone coming to get you?" He nodded, "My teammate Dino."

I nodded, "I'll wait with you. How'd tear the ACL, though?" He said, "Playing a game with my buds. I fell, bad." I nodded, "Yep, that's how it happens. What kind of meds do they give you?" 

He thought, "I don't know. There's so many 'phols' and z's and x's."

I laughed, "Next time you come, just show me a picture of the pill bottles, okay? I'll see you next week."

I watched as his teammate walked in. Dino bowed with me. "Thank you!" He smiled, "BYE!"

Dino started making car noises as he wheeled him out of the office. I turned to Maya, my front desk. "Men are so silly."

Maya laughed, "Yeah, making a car noise while you wheel out your injured friend is a little too crazy." I looked around, "Where's Hwan?" She smiled, "I know, right? Usually, he slacks off by now. But, he's with a patient."

I nodded. 

I made my way to my office and checked for the next patient. 

Seo Changbin just wanted a check-up.

It's his first time here. Maybe I'll find something wrong.

When Chan described Changbin, I don't know why I expected a petite guy. Yeah, he was short, but he was still way taller than me. Also, HE WAS HUGE!

I wouldn't be surprised if he was having problems with his muscles.

I crossed my arms as I inspected him, "Okay. Let me see those guns."

He flexed proudly, "Wow! That's a lot of effort. Wanna see mine?"

I lifted my shirt sleeve and showed the saddest Spongebob muscle known to man.

Changbin tried not to laugh, but it wasn't working.

"Ms. L/N. You should come with me to the gym."

I smiled, "Y/N is fine. Also, the way Chan talks about your gym visits, I don't think I'd survive."

He laughed, "You're a physical therapist. You should know all the ways to relax your muscles."

I shook my head no. "Medicine has a lot of stuff I don't know about."

He quirked an eyebrow, "You're a bad doctor then."

I laughed, "I'm a physical therapist, not a doctor. Now Changbin, please spread your arms and let me work my magic."

Chan was waiting for Changbin in the office. I smiled at Chan as he walked over to hug me. I hugged him back and said, "I'm back!" Changbin walked out of the lobby and to the car.

Chan said, "We should catch up after work? I'm free tonight."

I smiled, "Nah, I'm good, Chan."

I looked at Maya, "Shh, the people here like to gossip."

He nodded, "Just accept my love for once?" He winked at me, and my smile widened, "Just forget it."

I mouthed, "Text me." I walked to my office and waited in the lunch area for Hwan.

When Hwan finished with his client, he was back in his office. He sighed, and I asked, "Long day?" He looked up at me with those tired eyes. "My schedule is so empty these days. I'm bored!" I laughed and ate an apple slice from his lunch box.

"Hwan, I have to tell you something." He looked up at me with a little glint of fear flashing in his eyes. "What's up?"

I said, "I think I'm gonna ask Chan out." My smile felt easy on my face. 

There was no way this could go wrong!

Hwan dropped his grape from his mouth, "You're kidding."

I shook my head, "Dead butt cheeks!"

I raised my hand over my heart.

Hwna grabbed my hands with excitement, "WHEN?!" 

I smiled, "Today, I think. It might be what I need."

Hwan was searching my eyes for a lie. I breathed, "I'm nervous but also excited?" Hwan didn't lower his eyes, "What gave you the courage?" I smiled, "My mom!"

Hwan let go of my hand and prayed, "Thank you to Y/N's mom for giving her two balls instead of one! I just wanna thank the lawd for the patience he gave me, and the devil for the smut I'm about to hear about!" 

I laughed, "My goodness! You're so dramatic! I've gotta go now. I have a date to get ready for!"

Hwan's mouth dropped again as I sashayed away. I was giggling nonstop. 

My walk home was peaceful. I unlocked my door to an empty house. The stale feeling was something I'd never grown used to. Hopefully, Chan can fill that void. 

I put on my best outfit. This was the repeat outfit to wear. I was sitting in my sink while doing my makeup when I got a call.

"It's Channie! I'm gonna be there to pick you up! Be ready bestie-westie!"

I laughed, "Since when are we bestie-westie's?" His voice was smooth and easy when he spoke, "Since forever."

That felt a little bittersweet. 

It was round two of an awkward dinner. This time, dinner was less inopportune. I was opening up to Chan. 

That was our friendship dynamic. I'd play hard to get, and Chan chased me. He'd always run after me, and I loved it.

"So, you ever take that job offer?" I bit the cheesecake off my fork and swallowed. My eyes lit up as I stared at the cake. "It's good hm? I knew you'd like the cheesecake."

I smiled and continued to answer the question, "No, actually. I ended up telling Director Hong I'd stay here for now."

He nodded, "Ahh, really? I'd expect you to follow your dreams." I smiled, "I am. It's just that Seungcheol is gonna need a couple months of physical training before I can abandon him."

Chan gave me puppy dog eyes, "And what about me?" I laughed, "You too. But you have Jeongin to pester you about your health."

He nodded as he watched me devour my cake. He looked so happy watching me eat.

I took a deep breath as I prepared myself.

My heartbeat was so fast I could hear it. 

I'm gonna tell him.

I kept hyping myself up. I made myself look extra beautiful for Chan today. I don't know how relationship stuff works, but I wanted to try with Chan.

"Chan..." He looked up from my fork in my mouth and into my eyes. "I have something I want to tell you."

Chan nodded for me to continue. There was no judgment in his eyes, just peace.

"You've been my client for so long, you know? You were my first celebrity client, and I was your first physical therapist. We learned together... I'm grateful for that. We got closer as time passed. I'd consider you a close friend... but lately, I've been thinking of you more than a friend."

His stare was intense with fear and sadness. Disappointment bubbled in my chest, and I choked, "I think... I like you more than a friend."

I said it. 

I've been holding onto these feelings for years, knowing I've been more than liking him. It was probably love, but I didn't want to tell him that.

Not yet. 

Chan's silence made me progressively more nervous as I realized he wasn't about to say anything.

My voice cracked, "Speak." It was like I was giving a dog a command. He listened, "I just don't think this could happen. I mean, we're not in the same world, you know? I don't want to burden you..."

At first, there was sadness, but then there was this rage. 

All those times he chased me, and for what? What was it for...? Does he hate me or something?

I stood up, "Okay. That's fine."

Chan reached for my hand and I pulled away, "Don't fucking touch me."

My face frowned as I looked at his shocked eyes. I don't curse often, but I can't control my mouth when I'm upset.

"Y-you're mad." The tears pricked the corner of my eyes. I hissed, "Of course, I'm fucking mad, Chan! You lead me the fuck on, and you think I'm not angry. You're a piece of shit and a bitch ass nigga!"

I ran off. I wondered if Chan would chase me this time, but he didn't. 

I think that broke me more.

Next thing you know, I was on the street calling Hwan. "Plan failed. Can you please pick me up before I get kidnapped?" Hwan let out a long sigh, "Of course I can. I'll look at your location."

Bang Chan's POV

I fucked up. I fucked up biiig time. I've never EVER seen Y/n get upset. I've never seen Y/N's eyes filled with anger like that. I've never heard her curse before, or yell before. She was always so sweet and happy.

Seeing those tears falling down her eyes was like daggers falling on my heart. And when she ran, I didn't know what to do.

Does she want me to chase her? Would I make it worse? 

When I got the courage to run after her, she was nowhere to be found. Plus, I still had to pay for the food.

I waited until the next day to call and text her because I figured she'd want space. But my messages didn't go through. 

Did she block me?

I've never seen Y/N's bad side. I didn't know she was the kind of person to block someone. 

I had to go to practice, and the kids knew I wasn't feeling it. Lee Know wouldn't stop scolding me for my mistakes, but I could only think about how Y/N was doing. 

I had so much bullshit in my schedule that I couldn't check on her until three days later.

But when I went to her office, she was gone. I asked Maya, "Hey Maya. Do you know where Y/N is?"

Maya smiled, "Oh, she didn't tell you? Wow! She got a better job in the States. She moved there like two days ago."

My heart dropped. I felt like throwing up. My head spun as I tried to think about what to do. "Sh-she did, huh? Well... Do you know what clinic?"

Maya smiled, "I couldn't tell you. Ask Hwan. Y/N also requested I give all her old patients to Hwan. Hwan is your new physical therapist for now."

I smiled, "Well, I'd like to talk to Hwan."

She directed me to a room, and Hwan came in after fifteen minutes. His smile dropped a little, "Oh. Hello." My eye twitched, "Where is she?" Hwna shook his head in disappointment, "You know she told me not to tell you."

My jaw tightened, "I fucked up and I want to apologize."

Hwan sighed, "You had her crying at my house for three days straight, and NOW you want to apologize? Chan, let's be real here. You weren't the only one who lost Y/N. So did I. And so did all of her other patients. Your actions drove her away, and YOU didn't apologize when you should've. Now, sit the hell down, and let me do my fucking job, man."

I've never talked to Hwan, but I didn't understand how Y/N could be friends with someone like him.

He has no filter, a filthy mouth, A MAN, and he's rude.

Not too far off from me, though, huh?

Y/N's POV

I think it's been about three months since I moved to this clinic. I only had clients once a week. 

Every other day, I told the others what to do.

I hated it. Sure, it pays exponentially more, but I wanted to help people. I only like to boss my clients around, not my subordinates.

Chan had texted me from his members ' phones, office phones, and Text Now numbers. He wouldn't leave me alone.

It sucked, but I had to change my number. I saved Hwan's contact, but I lost contact with everyone else. I wasn't sure if he'd use others to text me. I also don't know how loyal my clients are.

I barely thought about Chan throughout the day now. I would sit in my dry office for seven hours and travel my family home. I was working on getting an apartment, but my intuition told me to wait.

Not only that, but when I moved here, my mom's back pain got worse, and she ended up in the hospital. If I leave now, my brother will have nobody.

I sighed as I typed on my computer. Going through restocking and reports is not fun! JESUS I NEED A DISTRACTION-

My assistant came in with more paperwork. Her phone was going off with this pretty melody. Something I've never heard before.

"Sorry about the phone, boss. But, here's some more paperwork for you."

I grabbed the folder and asked, "What song is it?" She smiled, "Some K-pop song. You used to do therapy on them. It's a Stray Kids song called 'Twilight.'"

I smiled as that name rang through my ears. Jesus, I haven't heard 'StrayKids' in a long time. 

I wonder how the kids are doing. I didn't want to lose their number like that.

My mouth went into a thin line as I silently thought to myself. My assistant spoke, "Well, that's all for the day. It looks like you'll have an early day." She waved and before she left I said, "You can go home now if you want. You worked hard today!" 

Her body relaxed, "Thank you, boss. I really appreciate it."

She walked out of my office, closing the door behind her. My fingers went straight to my keyboard to google the song.

The video loaded, and the same tune played through my phone. I knew a Han song when I heard one. The lyrics sounded like they were about me and Chan.

My eyes watered as I thought about our past. I missed the times he'd rip me out of my office to go eat, or we'd take detours to hang with the members. 

That time, Chan and I got snowed in at a bowling alley and lived off cheese and crackers for 3 hours. 

I never showed it, but Chan really was important to me. I shouldn't have left like that. I should've given him a chance... but I didn't want to.

A part of me is scared that we end up together, and I fuck it up. 

I'm not good enough for Chan. I'll never be those girls. Pale skin, skinny, dark hair, sharp chin. I was round-faced with a curvy body.

Chan would talk about how much he hated his curls, so why would he like mine?

The sobs escaped my mouth. I covered it to silence myself. I took a deep breath and turned off the song. 

I don't need to listen to this right now.

Bang Chan's POV

I was in Hwan's office for the last time before starting promotions.

I had a long day ahead of me. I would be flying out to America for interviews with the kids. 

I sat in the office for 30 minutes waiting. Y/N was never this late.

I respected how time-efficient she was with me. Always early.

Hwan walked in, "Hello, pretty boy. Ready for the session?"

He walked behind me to feel my neck and shoulder. "You've been sleeping?" I lied to him, "Yeah, all I do is sleep nowadays." I'm used to lying to Hwan. 

I want to leave. The only reason why I still come to this office is because it reminds me so much of Y/N.

Y/N would've caught my lie, and she would've politely told me off. Those soft words, with that soft smile, with a strong hint of disappointment in her voice. 

I loved it when she bossed me around. It was so hot.

Hwan was also a man, so stuff done here that made any two straight men uncomfortable.

I can't deliberately moan in this room. 

I did that because sometimes, Y/N would shake a little. I didn't know what it meant when she did that, but I guessed it was joy.

"Make sure you're using a neck pillow on the plane." I nodded, feeling the strain in my neck. 

Hwan massaged into that spot, "Look up." I looked up, and he chopped me in the neck. The shock of pain shot up my spine. Tears pricked from my eyes before the feeling of relief rushed over me.

"You should be good now. Have a good day." I walked out candyless. 

Y/N would always chuck candy at her patients like they were animals. It was the only not-so-nice thing she'd do. 

I figured she likes to throw stuff. Y/N threw her phone on my couch, her shoes on my floor, and her macaroni noodle at me.

I wish she'd throw her clothes off, though. 

I shook myself out of my thoughts. 

In the past, when I walked out of the PT office, I'd always feel refreshed. Now when I do, I just feel depressed.

I went into my car and saw a text. It was a screenshot from Hwan. An article with Y/N's face on it.

.

.

.

Doc Hwan

Don't tell her I told you where she was just don't fuck up this time. She's been going through a lot and she needs someone.

Bang Chan

I will thank you

.

.

.

Holy shit! I found her! I can go to her, see her, smell her, hold her, hear her perfect soft voice. I wanna kiss her like I never got the chance to.

Y/N's POV

Twilight was on repeat in my office. I think I was trying to desensitize. When listening to the song made me feel this raw emotion. I'd want to cry.

It was an addicting feeling. I'd listen to it non-stop throughout the day. 

I was sitting in my office typing emails to my team leaders. I blinked as my eyes started to feel dry. I put on my glasses. They helped me read, but also blue light.

I was so focused on this work until I heard screaming.

"C'MON! JUST LET ME IN PLEASE?" I jumped from my seat. I recognized that voice. That accent.

Please tell me it's not real. God, please tell me I did some kind of cocaine before entering this office.

"I need to see her!"

I got up to see the security holding onto someone I'd never thought I'd see again.

He did it. He chased me.

I scanned his big body, held by two grown men. His face was in a frown. Chan confessed to my assistant countless times.

I smiled, putting on my mask immediately. "Chan?" He looked up to see my face. His eyes softened. I could see tears starting to well in his eyes.

He's such a big baby.

"I need to talk to you. Please."

I crossed my arms. My eyebrows furrowed with guilt. "You guys can let him go. He's with me."

My security guards dropped him. Chan was running after me quickly as I walked back into my office.

I crossed my arms and sat in my chair. This automatically sets the social standard. "Yes?" 

Chan's eyes lowered as he twiddled with his fingers, "Y/N. You don't know how long I searched for you. You don't know how sorry I feel. It's nothing words can say. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have hurt you like that."

My eyes lingered on his shoulder. It looked so tense. But it was just that shoulder, not the other one. 

That side was the same as where he hurt his neck. I carefully asked, "Have you been taking care of yourself?" 

He scoffed, "That's not really important, is it?" I sighed, "Chan. I'm fine. I really don't need you to apologize anymore about it. I get that you don't like me the same way as I did. The only reason I left was because I couldn't be friends with someone I liked."

Chan said, "Did? Liked? Y/N... I still want you. I always wanted you."

My heart skipped a beat, and I looked up at him. He was being deadly serious. His eyes locked on mine. They were filled with sincerity. 

"Please. Take me back." He stepped closer to my office desk. I scooted out of my chair. His eyes followed me as I walked toward him. He looked ready for anything I was about to throw at him.

He wasn't prepared for the hug I drowned him in. I fully jumped on his body and wrapped myself around his waist. I cried in his neck and said, "I needed you so bad!" His hug got tighter against me.

I confessed, "My mom got sick, and she's in the hospital. My Dad died 6 months ago. All the pressure is on me. My brother has locked himself in his room, and this job can't pay for all the medical bills. I just needed someone to be here with me for once. I always have to take the lead, and I'm tired. I'm so tired, Chan."

His grip only tightened. That was his way of saying he wasn't going anywhere. I pulled away and wiped my tears, "Thank you." 

I stared into his eyes for a moment. There was silence. His stare was so intense. I leaned in and quickly kissed his lips.

"Ah, c'mon. You gotta give me more than that." I looked away, "I never..." I didn't finish the sentence out of embarrassment. 

Chan tilted his head, and an easy smile spread on his face. "It's okay. I'll show you everything. What time do you get off work?"

I smiled, "We can leave right now."

He laughed, "Deal. Let's go."

We were in his hotel room. It was so big and expensive. I didn't know they had hotels like this in New York.

Chan was leading me to the bed carefully. "You can tell me when to stop whenever you want. I will."

I smiled, "Okay." Chan said, "You can drop the act with me. I got you now."

My smile faded as I looked at him with my typical aloofness. Chan carefully caressed my cheek. He put my braid behind my ear and said, "I'm gonna kiss you for real this time, okay?"

I nodded as I stared into his eyes. Chan leaned in and kissed my lips. His lips tasted like candy.

The candy I'd give out to my clients. He must've found them here and started eating them non-stop.

I was right when he pulled away, and I saw the candy wrapper on his bedside table.

He grabbed my cheeks with one hand to turn my head to look at him. "Look at me. Did you like that?" 

I smiled, "Sorry. I got distracted. You taste like candy." He laughed through his nose. "Yeah? You were looking at the candy wrappers?"

I nodded in his grip. 

"Stop distracting yourself, and focus on me." I nodded, and he leaned back in to kiss me. This time, I let myself get absorbed in the moment.

I always detached myself from people, put on a happy mask, and tried my best to distract from my problems. This is a good distraction, but one I want to last for an eternity.

The way his soft lips pressed against my own. His other hand had traveled to my thigh, massaging it gently. I loved the way his tongue swiped on my bottom lip.

My lips parted, and his tongue was in my mouth. Heat pooled in my middle as I felt him grab my thigh harder. He pulled me onto his lap. I felt his hard dick.

I gasped and pulled away. "Chan." His eyes were half-lidded, "I know, baby." I bit my lip. He grabbed both my arms and put them on his shoulders. I tightly wrapped my arms around his neck, knowing what spot to apply pressure to relieve the pain from his neck.

He dove us back, and our kiss reconnected. His hands traveled to my ass, and he squeezed tightly. I moaned. My pussy fluttered in need as I rubbed myself against his hard dick. Chan bit my bottom lip and groaned.

I opened my eyes to see his were open. He observed me. I pulled away from his kiss and said, "I'm really horny."

He couldn't help but laugh at my blunt honesty. He flipped us over, and now he was over me. "I can help. You want me to touch you?" He rubbed my stomach as his way of telling me.

I let out a smooth breath as my eyes closed. "Please." My throbbing cunt was distracting me from any thoughts I could have about candy, work, and anything.

My legs parted for his traveling hands. He rubbed his thumb over my clothed vagina. His other hand held mine. "Don't forget to tell me if you don't like this." 

I nodded as I squeezed my lips to a thin line. I couldn't stop squirming under Chan's touch. He was making me feel so good.

Just then, I felt him unbutton my dress pants. "Are you okay with my body? I'm a little fat-" He kissed the doubt on my lips. "I couldn't care less about what you look like."

I blinked as he pulled my pants down. He hooked his point finger under my panties and pulled it down to my knees. 

The cold air made me realize I was dripping. I took a stuttered breath, and Chan laced his fingers back with mine. "Please, Chan."

He kissed my neck carefully. I twitched, and he sucked. His wet tongue swirled circles against my skin as his fingers seeped into my hole.

I couldn't wrap my legs around him. I think that's why he trapped me in my own underwear. His hand left mine and carefully lifted my shirt. I felt him pull away to focus on unbuttoning my shirt with one hand.

His fingers went on hold for a moment, earning him a tiny whine in protest from me. He looked at me and laughed, "I'll rip this fucking shirt off you. I'm trying to be respectful." 

I reached for my buttons and popped them off. Chan watched with a smile. "That's my girl."

I closed my eyes when his fingers dug into a deep spot I'd never reached. Chan kissed down my chest and stomach as he observed me. 

I moaned when his tongue touched my clit. I bit my lip as my back arched in pleasure. 

His fingers pumped in and out in a scissoring motion as he licked my clit. I cried out as the knot in my stomach tightened. "Please, Chan... fast..er." 

He quickly obliged as his big fingers stretched my hole out. I cried as I fluttered around his fingers. I felt myself starting to ball the sheets in my fist. I was cumming, and Chan hadn't stopped licking.

I grabbed his pretty hair and smooshed him closer as I ground against his face.

I had finally ridden out my orgasm, and I sighed. 

"Y/N. You ready for something bigger."

I opened my eyes to peek at Chan, throwing off his shirt. His abs were so sculpted. I reached for him, but he stepped back. I opened both my eyes to see him rolling off his sweats. Through his boxers, I could see his hard dick.

I let out a deep breath. Chan looked at me, "Disappointed?" I shook my head rapidly, "Nono... I don't know how big it's supposed to be."

Chan crossed his big arms over his chest. "Yeah? You want me to show you?" I nodded, and he pulled his boxers unreservedly off. He stuck his finger in my hole, and a smile crept on his face.

He was already hard, but he was getting stiff. He was staring at me. I closed my legs in instinct, and Chan spread them back open.

"C'mon. You know better." I shuddered. Chan got on top of me and stared at me with intensity. "You tell me when to stop, go, slow down, speed up. You communicate, okay, pretty girl?" I nodded, and he kissed my lips with more affection.

He moved away to angle himself into my hole. He pressed himself inside. My legs started shaking from the pain. He was so much bigger than his fingers.

I whimpered in pain, and he leaned in to kiss my cheeks. "I'm sorry. I know." He gently pushed himself in me until he bottomed out. His dick was pressed against my gummy spot. 

It felt so tight. I felt full. My body relaxed as Chan leaned in for another kiss. I said between kisses, "Go." He carefully thrust into me as he kissed me.

His tongue played with mine as he maintained a slow and steady pace. I moaned in his mouth as he hit my spot over and over.

Chan moved a little faster. The sound of our skin slapping echoed through the room. I let out a girlish scream as he quickened his pace. He leaned back down to kiss me again. He smiled, "It feels that good?"

I nodded as I felt that butterfly feeling in my stomach. I whispered, "Faster!" I moaned louder as his pace hardened. My body bounced to his rhythm, and so did my moans. I cried, "Oh~ I'm gonna~ mm~" 

He kept going. His hard dick hitting into my g-spot, His quick pace thrusting into my tight wet hole. I felt myself release as my back arched, and I came.

Chan's muscle tightened with mine. "Fuck Y/N." He pulled out quickly and came on my stomach. I looked down at the mess he created. Chan said, "You're so good at this."

I blinked and looked up at his fucked up face. "I am?" 

He laughed, "I didn't expect you to be so loud." I asked weakly, "Is that a bad thing?"

"No, baby. Let me clean you up."

We went two more rounds, but then I passed out in his arms. Chan was holding me close as he kissed my head.

His laying position looked uncomfortable. I got on his lap and massaged his tissue. Chan groaned, "That feels good."

I smiled and asked, "Chan. Han wrote Twilight, right?" His eye peeked open, "Y-yeah. Why?" His hand slid to my thigh. I was wearing his T-shirt. 

Chan's eyes softened as he realized. "He said he used me as inspiration. Why?" I tilted my head, "I hurt you that much?" He rubbed small circles on my thigh with a smile, "I hurt you more."

I laughed, "True. But, you love me?" Chan's eyes widened, "Yes. I love you." I smiled, "I love you too." My hands traveled to his boxers, and he grabbed my wrist quickly. "Give me thirty more minutes, baby."

I smiled, "Okay. I'll be patient." 

I cuddled into his chest, but we ended up falling asleep together.

A lot happened. Chan ended up paying for my mom's hospital bills. My mom was out of the hospital sooner than expected. Miles was getting better, too.

I moved back to Korea to continue my job. Chan and I got engaged. Our relationship had ups and downs, but we worked through it like adults.

I didn't run anymore, and Chan didn't have to chase me anymore.

[utilitycaster]

I think that discussions of TTRPGs would be much more productive if the advocates of moving from D&D could separate out the ideas of "WoTC is part of the massive Hasbro conglomerate which engages in the shady capitalist practices massive conglomerates do"; "D&D is not suited for every single type of story or gameplay style"; and "here's how to pick a different TTRPG that suits you needs" because as I've said many a time like 99% of them are just trying to sell you on their favorite game, which might be out of print, prohibitively expensive, something no one around you is interested in playing, or is just as bad if not worse a fit for what you want to do as D&D.

I also think said conversations would be more productive if acknowledging many people came into TTRPGs via Actual Play but would be willing to branch out if you weren't the world's most condescending dickhead towards them*; if people considered the hard truth that if you're fluent in D&D and own the materials and have a group already the pitch for Pathfinder specifically actually becomes much harder, not easier; and, as always, if people tailored their recommendations. I agree that heists or space operas or low-combat social games don't play well in D&D; they also don't play well necessarily in your favorite game that you recommend for everything that isn't magically better or more versatile just because it's from a smaller company.

Anyway the point is if you just want to whine about D&D being a dominant force be my guest but you will probably lose all but the most impressionable/desperate for the validation of strangers portion of your D&D-playing audience. If you're actually interested in changing minds and not jacking off to how much cooler and better you are be prepared to ask or answer these questions:

Is D&D genuinely a bad fit for what they want to do, or are you just an intrusive hater?

What is the person you're trying to convert interested in doing at the table? This is is a complex question that covers genre and tone; session-to-session gameplay such as combat vs. RP balance but also (for example) granularity of rules; and overall scope of the game (eg: is this something that you can play a long-term campaign in with character progression? Or is it fairly static and intended to be a few sessions at most?)

What games are accessible to them? This means within their budget (unless you advocate for pirating from small indies, which will not really help with the whole WoTC dominance situation); within what they and their table have time to learn (or, if they are looking to get into games in the first place, what they might be able to find a group for); and again, I can't believe I have to say this but I really do because I've seen it multiple times: whether the game is in print.

Have you considered gently directing them to their friendly local gaming store with answers to the second and third questions above and unleashing them upon a person who knows the gaming scene in their area and (while I've dealt with a Comic Shop Guy or two in my time) is less likely to call them a dumb bitch to their face if the answer ends up being "I'll stick with D&D"? Again, is this about them having a good time? Or is this about you?

*the best way to describe this, since I've been talking a lot about people attempting to claim the status of the systemically oppressed, is that a lot of non-D&D/non-AP fans of TTRPGs on Tumblr act like they are an oppressed class and it's like Kevin, you are a white sysadmin Monte Hall Games fanboy, you are not oppressed by the girlies making Keyleth-inspired D&D characters. You are not part of the more popular fandom and indeed dislike it; this does not make you of a lower class.

[toxicanonymity]

so excited for next raider joel i am literally foaming at the mouth

Company

2.2k / dark raider!joel x dark!f!reader x ofc

raider master

gif by @serenaxpedro

“I’ll do it,” you say, unsure what that even means. Joel looks surprised and impressed.  “You’ll do it, then,” he repeats quietly.

Skip ahead to Raider: Close if you're not into the warnings.

WARNINGS: Striking through extra detailed spoilery warnings but wanna be thorough. These don't all happen to reader. Angst, jealousy, dark reader!, noncon FFM, oral m & f receiving, spanking/pussy slapping, noncon gunplay/penetration, unsafe P in V sex (not btwn Joel and OFC), dubcon via captivity, degradation, cum eating, threat of/allusions to cheating kind of. joel makes reader noncon ofc, f on f oral  PLUS stuff already in play like being chained up.

A/N: Ask 1, Ask 2. TBH I had trouble getting on board with the idea of adding another girl, but eventually a twisted version i could live with came together in my head. Still, I bet some people will not like it. Please don't read if you could be triggered or upset. 🧡 I did not describe the OFC, so please HC her however makes you happy.

-

When Joel gets back, his arms are the first thing you notice.  He’s wearing a body holster with a pistol over his mesh tank top.  The body holster makes his shoulder muscles look even more imposing.  The second thing you notice is that he’s not alone.  He’s dragging another girl by her elbow.  She looks like she’s been crying, but she’s not now.  She’s angry.  Joel doesn’t look at you when he comes in.  He slams the door behind him and hangs up his gun.  He throws her down on the other bed, then cages her with his body.   He holds her chin and and says, “Don’t fuckin’ move.”  She spits in his face.  

He takes a deep breath and cracks his neck without his hands.  ”Been nothin’ but nice to ya,” he says.  “That ends now.”  

Shamefully, your first thought is, what does he mean by ‘nice to her’? Was he the same as he is with you? Did he save her from a worse fate? Did he stroke her cheek and tell her it was going to be alright? Did tell her he was going to take her with him, protect her from far worse men?  How many times has he done this? You hate to think you might not be special.  

Joel unbuttons his pants and looks at the girl menacingly. “Coulda made this enjoyable for ya,” he says regretfully.  “Too bad.”

Your stomach turns and your heart pounds.  Is this all because you kissed him? Is he punishing you for your affection? It’s not fair.  He’s the one who kissed you first in the middle of the night.  Your eyes sting with tears.  You can’t sit here and let this happen.

“What are you doing?” you cry. 

“What am I doing?” he laughs.  He pauses without unzipping his pants.  Finally, he looks at you as he palms himself.  Your eyes follow his hand and you’re relieved to see he’s not fully hard yet. 

“Don’t,” you plead.  “I’ll do whatever you want.”

He unzips his tight jeans and takes his semi-hard cock out.  He asks you, “Where should I put it?” with his pelvis still pointed toward the other bed. 

“Do you have to put it anywhere?” you whimper.  The girl looks at you hopefully like you really have a say.  Like you might be trying to help her. 

“Do I have to,” he grumbles.  You run through the options in your head.  He could put it in her mouth, that’s not too bad. A mouth is just a mouth, right? There’s no way she would do a good job on purpose. But hopefully she wouldn’t bite him, either. 

-

Joel approaches you and spits in his hand.  As he begins to stroke himself with the spit, you say, “Let me.” He holds his cock for you and you try to suck him as good as you can, but he just wants the saliva.  He won’t let you make him come.  Your eyes well up.  

“Shhhh,” he says and cups your cheek as he takes his cock away.  He sighs, then nods back toward the rest of the stash house. “You think they want just any girl? They want what’s mine.” He glances over at the girl then back at you.  He lowers his voice. “She could save your life.” As sweet as that is, it doesn’t make you feel much better about him putting his cock in another woman.  

“Do you really have to?” you plead. 

“Where do you want me to put it?” he asks again.

“In me,” you beg.  He studies your face. 

He looks up at the ceiling contemplatively.  “Well either I’m doin’ it, or you’re doin’ it,” he offers. 

“I’ll do it,” you say, unsure what that even means.  You just know it has to be better than watching or hearing him fuck another girl.  If you have to finger her or even give her head, so be it.

Joel looks surprised and impressed.  “You’ll do it, then,” he repeats quietly.  He unchains you from the radiator and takes the pistol out of his body holster.  He holds it by the barrel and hands it to you.  

Your face goes cold. 

“No,” the girl whimpers, sitting in the corner of the cot with her knees hugged into her chest. 

“You heard her,” Joel says.  “She’s doin’ it. Right, sweet pea?”  

Your hand shakes as you grip the gun.   Joel motions for you to go to the other bed.  

-

“You’re sick,” the girl whimpers at Joel. “Shoot him!” she demands of you.  “What are you waiting for?? SHOOT HIM!” 

Instead, you stand at the end of the cot.  “Get back here,” you say weakly, gun still shaking in your hand.  “And turn over.” 

She shakes her head.  You cock the gun. 

“Damn,” Joel whispers. She still doesn’t move. She cries. 

Joel loses patience and grabs her by the thighs, jerking her to the end of the bed.  He pulls her dress up over her ass, clenches his jaw, and spanks her.  Then he stands between you and the bed.  He spits on his fingers and turns to face you.  He keeps his knuckles facing you as he reaches back and slaps her pussy without looking at her. She yelps. He keeps his hand there and rubs her clit while he stares at you with his hard dick in his other hand. 

“Go on,” he tells you.  “You can do it, sweet pea.” 

“You’re both sick,” she whimpers. 

You steady the gun in both hands, avoiding the trigger, and bring the muzzle to her wet cunt.  She shrieks at the cold ring of metal.  Then you grab her hip for leverage and use your dominant hand to carefully push the barrel into her, gently maneuvering it so it doesn’t catch.  She groans “No.”  

Joel strokes your cheek and looks at you affectionately.  Then he gets behind you, with both of you facing the bed.  He puts his hands on your hips and presses his hard-on into your dress. 

“Go on,” Joel urges and his cock hardens as he pushes it against you.  

You begin to slide the gun in and out of her. 

Joel brings his mouth to your head.  “Good girl,” he whispers and puts his large hands on your hips.  He raises your dress, exposing your ass.  He pulls down your panties, then puts a hand on the small of your back.  You spread your feet more, so relieved and grateful he’s not fucking the other girl.  He flattens his fingers and rubs your clit until you’re wet enough.  It doesn’t take long. 

-

You’ve slowed down with the pistol, focusing more on the feeling of his hand between your legs.  Joel pauses.  “Don’t stop,” Joel cautions.  “Or I’ll do it myself, and not with the gun.”  You start again.  He notches the head of his cock at your entrance and waits. You begin railing her steadily with the barrel of the gun.  “Good, sweet pea,” he murmurs.  

He pushes his tip inside you and you gasp at the stretch, temporarily pausing the rhythm of the gun.  Then he puts one hand on your pelvis for leverage and holds a breast with the other.  He slams his cock into you, jolting you up and forward, with the momentum slamming the gun harshly into her cunt.  She whimpers.  

“Sorry,” you whisper to her and try to steady your hand as Joel fucks you. But the last thing you would do is ask him to stop or ease up. 

Joel drives his length into you steadily.  Your face tenses and your temples feel weak.  You’re still jealous and your mind drifts to whether he’s looking at you or the other girl.  Or is he just watching you fuck her with his gun.  You know he’s an awful man.  Face it, it turns him on. 

You put it out of your mind and focus on the feeling of being filled by him.  His fingers pressing into your skin as his cock impales you, strong but gentle, like him.  You can’t help but moan as he fills you up with his flesh. His cock completes you just right.  You need him to be all yours. 

He switches hands, using his other hand for leverage as he cups your opposite breast.  He buries his mouth in your neck and that makes you feel better, your brow softens.  He bites you and it feels close enough to a kiss that your heart swells.  He sucks your skin, and he moans at the feeling of your nipple hardening into the palm of his hand.  He massages your breast and you begin to twitch around his cock.  He moans into your neck.

Joel’s hands slither around your body, and his cock pounds into you harder.  “You’re doin’ great, pretty girl.” You feel yourself on the edge of climax.  He slams into you with a grunt. “This pussy’s all mine,” he pants.  “gonna stay that way.”  You lean back into his chest and enjoy the feeling of his body wrapped around yours while you’re wrapped around his cock.  He begins to stroke your clit and you moan.  He breathes heavier and grunts with each thrust. 

“Sweet pea,” he murmurs. “You feel so good.”  Your heart flutters at his words and your lower abdomen buzzes with warmth.  “She could never. No one else could.”

With that validation, you fuck her harder with the gun. “That’s it, baby,” Joel whispers, slamming his cruel cock into you.  “Just like that.”  Your arm gets tired and you switch hands.  It’s so tempting to put down the gun, but you don’t want to find out whether he’d really fuck her.  You don’t want to disappoint him either, and you don’t want him to stop fucking you.

He pulls out before either of you come.  You sigh at the loss but his fingers gather slick from your dripping cunt then return to your clit and he outdoes himself.  He puts his mouth to your ear.  “Go ‘head, baby,” and his low whisper makes you see stars.  

You moan and tremble and fall into her, plunging the gun deeper. 

“Pretty when ya come,”  he murmurs and rubs your back while you finish.  Then he grabs your ass affectionately and steps to your side;  You flinch, your ass is sore today. 

He slowly pumps his cock and kneels onto the cot with one knee.  He takes your hand and makes you take the gun out. She collapses onto the dirty mattress.  

-

“What’d I do wrong?” you ask him.  

“You did great, sweet pea. You did perfect,” he says as he gets up on the cot and it creaks under his full weight.  

She tries to squirm away and he stops her with a hand on her ass. He’s facing her side and looking at you as he pumps himself.  He straddles one of her legs and you whimper.  He points his cock at her pussy, then he looks at you again as he strokes himself and comes on her ass.  It trickles down her crack to her cunt. You don’t want his cum between her legs, it tugs at your tear ducts, but you’re comforted by his eye contact with you when he came. 

He gets off the cot, tucks his dick away, then comfortingly squeezes your shoulder and watches you watch his cum trickle down.  “You want it so bad, take it,”  he says.  He crosses his arms and nods toward her.  

It feels like a command.  You begin to reach out your hand toward her. 

“Nuh-uh.  With your mouth, sweet pea.” 

You obediently bend at the hips and lean over the cot.  Joel pries her legs open for you.  You plant your mouth between her legs and lick from her cunt, while trying to strain your eyes to meet Joel’s for approval.  “Yeah, get it all, baby.”  You drag your tongue up her crack. 

You swallow it and he holds out his arms for you.  He helps you down from the cot and takes you back over to yours.  “You’re gonna stay here for a li’l bit, sweet pea.  Keep her company.”  

You sniffle. “Do I have to?”

“Yeah, baby. I’ll come back for you later.”  He kisses you on the head and makes sure you’re comfortable before he chains you back.  

-

After Joel leaves, you and the other girl are both silent for a while.  Then she tries to get through to you, tries to convince you that the two of you can outsmart him together.  When pleading doesn’t work, she tries tough love.  “I get it,” she says. “You think he cares about you. But he doesn’t.  You think he’s faithful to you, just because he owns you.”

“He does care.” 

“Well I don’t see your name on his chest.  And his dick sure didn’t taste faithful today.” 

Any sympathy you had for her evaporates with those words. Even if she’s lying, even if she’s trying to play you.  

“Pathetic,” she scoffs.  “You don’t even want to be free, do you?” 

You’re silent for a minute, then get an idea.  “You’re right, I don’t.  But if you really want to escape, I can tell you how.”   

You know the guard won’t stay at the door all night.  You know the best time and route to get out of the house. If she gets away, good for her.  If she gets caught by one of Joel’s men, oh well. 

-

Thank you so, so much for reading and engaging! Love you guys. You will have your man to yourself next time.

-

if i've left you off please DM me. You can also follow @toxicfics and turn on notifications and you can follow @toxicrecs for my fic recs

[agustdiv1ne]

cograts on 3k!!! can i request taehyun + the proposal + smut but taehyun is the boss and reader is the secretary? love u <3

NOW SHOWING...

pairing: kang taehyun x fem!reader

genre: smut

wc: 3.9k

details + warnings: mdni, boss!taehyun, secretary!mc, hatefucking (or, more accurately, mildly annoyed with each other fucking), power imbalance, dom!tae, (kinda bratty) sub!mc, unprotected sex (do nawt do this), missionary, doggy, pull out method, very brief degradation (slut is used once), all they do is bicker lmfao

note: tyty nonnie!! ♡ hope you enjoyyy

your boss is — and you cannot stress this enough — a complete and utter hardass. 

he demands way too much from you, he rapidly fires back-to-back orders and expects you to remember every minute detail, and sometimes, he even makes you drop everything to work on the weekend. the weekend. unfortunately, you are forced to grin and bear it. while your parents have urged you to quit every time you call them, and you've definitely considered it, working for taehyun is the only way that you will ever have a shot at becoming an editor, to bring light to stories that can touch others' hearts. there's nothing more that you wish to do than give small-time authors a chance to get their work out there — and even get your own novel in stores. you know how difficult getting a foot into the publishing world can be, but you also know that you won't be able to help them, or yourself, if you don't put yourself through hell first. hell being taehyun's wrath, of course.

even worse: you've now been roped into marrying this man. with new york city's immigration office on his ass, you are the poor soul he decided to use to keep himself in the country and save his job. the gross reality of it all is that if taehyun is fired, you wouldn't last another day at the company, and all of your painstaking work would be for naught. you honestly had no choice but to go with it. 

you first thought that the universe held some sort of gargantuan grudge against you…because the two of you were suddenly slated to visit your little hometown after lying straight to an immigration officer's face (who definitely did not believe a word that either of you said) for your grandmother's ninetieth birthday. since you have arrived in the small town, you've been sharing a bed with him because he refuses to sleep on the floor, separated by a wall of pillows each night; you've been forced to act affectionate with each other in order to appease your overbearing family. 

however, you're also beginning to think that taehyun might not be all that terrible. outside of work, at least. sure, you bicker and you argue and your attempts at pda are painfully awkward at best, but he's shown you a different side of him over these past couple of days. he is still the harsh boss that you know intimately well, but he actually has a personality under that work persona. he's sung old-timey songs for your elder family members, opened up to you on your family's boat about his issues with vulnerability, and the wall of pillows on the bed has slowly diminished to nothing. above all, you've had more heart-to-heart conversations than what you initially thought he had the emotional capacity for. 

but that doesn't mean he still isn't a bit of a dick.

“move over,” he grumbles next to you as both of you try to get some sleep, grumpy after another long day and a very embarrassing encounter with your grandmother. the memory of you doubled over, nearly crying with laughter, because of him stings like a fresh wound. annoyance surges through his veins, and your thin pajamas — on top of the warmth of your bare skin radiating against his — certainly are not helping his conflicted mind. 

“sleep on the floor if you’re going to complain,” you retort, unmoving as you stare up at the ceiling. the moonlight streaming through the windows reflects across the wood panels, shifting with the movement of the thin curtains that hang in front of the glass. it’s soothing, but it seems as if nothing is enough to get you to doze off tonight, even the melatonin that you downed an hour ago. the lack of space between the two of you is a new development, and you cannot deny the nervous pang that resounds in your chest because of it. something feels off tonight, but you can’t quite put a finger on it. 

his elbow sharply shoves in your bicep, pain blooming across your skin as the bone further digs itself into your arm. hissing in pain, you jostle him back, thus starting a petty war of who can gain the most space on the bed. after a couple minutes of exchanging elbows and small curses, your arm growing sore, annoyance finally bubbles over. your scattered brain proves useless in this situation, and while you’d usually rather exchange rude words until one of you concedes, you instead find yourself sitting up to straddle his hips, hands wrapping around his forearms and pinning them to the mattress. his lips part slightly as he stares up at you — a shocking crack in his typical stoic mask — while you shoot daggers down at him, your manicured nails biting into his wrists. 

“quit it,” you hiss. “i’m not in the mood for your shit tonight.” 

the curse word slips out before you can stop it, but at this point, you don’t particularly care. he’s being an annoying prick and all you want is for this godforsaken trip to be over already and for you to get fucking married. the quicker you are, the quicker you can get divorced and return back to your regularly programmed boss-assistant relationship and cut the odd tension that has built up between the two of you over this trip. 

below you, taehyun mirrors your venomous expression, his bare chest flexing as he breaks away from your grip with ease. his hips shift up beneath you, and your balance unexpectedly shifts. in a split second, you’ve switched positions with him now leering down at you. your legs are now wrapped around his hips, hands now pinned to the bed by his. he’s so close that you can feel his breaths against your cheek. that weird feeling in your stomach is back; you can’t help but flit your gaze down to his lips for a moment, licking your own subconsciously. you want — no, you need to kiss him, the phantom feeling of his lips on yours from the day prior taunting you. 

mentally, you slap yourself out of it. where the hell did that come from? he’s your boss. your terrible, perfectionist boss that you never catch a break from, your boss that constantly makes you want to quit your position and give up on your dreams. you shouldn’t be thinking of him like that. you can’t. looking back up at him, you find dark, narrowed eyes staring right back at you. the slight furrow of his brow tells you that he’s thinking — this is one of his most common expressions, you’ve gathered from your grueling time working for him, right after his stony, laser-like stare that is a constant in the office. it’s also the most worrisome.

wiggling, your fiery attempt to get him off of you is swiftly extinguished as he tightens his grip on you. you are not lost on the tick in his jaw, the way his muscles flex beneath his skin. with a gulp, you urge yourself to calm down. he’s your boss. your fucking boss. 

with a hiss, he grits out, “stop moving. fuck.”

his words lead you to notice something hard pressing into the crease of your thigh — his dick. holy shit, taehyun’s dick is rock solid against you, and you’ve barely even done anything. every nerve ending in your body feels like it’s on fire right now, the air surrounding your bodies electric and—

he’s kissing you. 

he’s kissing you and it’s messy and mean and there’s absolutely nothing romantic about it — and worst of all, you actually like it. lips mold together and teeth knock against each other, his hands releasing your arms to find purchase on your hips as he helps you grind against him. with a small whimper, you bite down on his bottom lip, causing him to groan in response. this is weird. this is so unbelievably weird, yet you can’t seem to stop yourself. 

he pulls away first, his warm breath brushing against your lips while both of you pant against each other. you can’t help but stare at the way his lips are red and swollen, slick with saliva and wetted further by a quick swipe of his tongue. 

without speaking, he swoops back down to capture your lips again. your stomach clenches as his hands slip beneath your thin camisole, the fabric bunching up as they slide up the expanse of your stomach and up to your breasts. he greedily gropes the flesh as he deepens the kiss, while you reach down to cup him over his boxers. he’s heavy in your hand, and you can tell just how thick he is even with the fabric in the way. your walls flutter around nothing as the thought of him stretching you to your limit invades your mind, your panties sticking to your folds. 

“you drive me insane,” taehyun grumbles as he works on nipping and sucking on the skin of your neck, thumbs now circling your pebbled nipples. you arch into his touch, unable to hold in your gasps.

“yeah, well, welcome to my world,” you mutter, squealing as he delivers a particularly cruel pinch to one of your tits. curling your fingers into his hair, you tug hard enough to hurt, and he hisses at the sting, sitting back up so that he’s leaning over you once more. one of his hands leaves your breasts to find purchase around your throat; you’re sure that he can feel the way you gulp beneath his hand — he does, and fuck, does that make his cock twitch. 

with a scoff, he shifts hips forward with more force, pressing himself directly into your center. the grip around your throat tightens slightly — he revels in the way your eyelids flutter and your gaze grows a little hazy as you stare up at him. you’re an absolute vision like this, and he thinks that maybe…no, he doesn’t. what a silly idea, that couldn’t possibly be true. 

his attention is pulled back to the present as you meet his hips with your own. your teeth digging into your bottom lip makes him want to bite it for you. god, stop. he hates himself a little for how he feels, but you’re just too tempting right now — and you? you seem just as willing.

to hell with it, he thinks.

“beg,” he orders. there is no way in hell he’s going to allow you to be snarky to him. he deals with your offhand remarks enough at work, and you’ve been a little too casual with him during this trip, too complacent with your disrespect. 

“i will do nothing of the sort,” you hiss despite the burning desire to just submit and let him make you feel good. “j-just because you think you’re all high and mighty doesn’t mean i’ll just bend to your will because you expect me to.”

the way he pauses makes you freeze. the narrowed, cold eyes are back, sending chills down your spine as they look over every crevice of your being: your lust-blown eyes, your heaving chest, how your legs have hooked themselves around his waist to pull him impossibly closer. his gaze finds yours again, and you shrink into yourself a little. the action pulls a smirk from him.

“i know you need this,” he says coolly. “more than me, i’m sure. when do you have time to meet people, hm? i doubt you’ve had anyone in a while.”

oh, fuck him. he has no right to comment on your lack of sex life, not when he’s the one and only reason for your lack of partner and your sore wrist each night. not when he has little regard for your free time when your off the clock. you do everything for him, and yet all you get is a measly little paycheck and not one ounce of gratitude in return. 

“that’s because of you,” you fire back, blood boiling. “you work me like a dog! i’m always at your beck and call— how do you expect to find someone to screw when my entire life revolves around you and your needs? ”

he shrugs as if none of that matters. “well, now i’m giving you an opportunity to get fucked,” he remarks, essentially ignoring your entire point. the cocky, impudent bastard. “take it or leave it. so beg, or i’ll just fuck my fist and you can watch. i don’t particularly care.”

slack-jawed, you gawk at him silently. you’ve never heard him be so vulgar. it’s oddly…hot? stop, no, your brain needs to shut up.

when he begins to move off of you, your legs tighten around his waist. actually, you know what? fuck it. your pride has already been tarnished enough while working for him, why not keep that going? you’re desperate enough, and since he’s talking such a big game, you’re curious to find out if he can back it up. 

thus, you give in.  

“fine. fuck me,” you whisper viciously.

evidently, this is not satisfactory for taehyun. his mouth forms into a thin line as he sends you an unimpressed frown. “what? i couldn’t hear you.” 

when you repeat yourself, louder this time, his head tilts and leans closer to you until you’re basically nose-to-nose. his stupid, infuriating smirk has grown wider. it’s almost as if — no, he definitely enjoys teasing you like this. 

“c’mon, you can do better than that,” he mocks while he rocks his hips harder against yours.

while you’d typically throttle a man who patronized you in this way, you are so unbelievably needy at the moment, and his ministrations are definitely not helping your case; so after swallowing what little dignity you have left, you begin to plead, “fuck me, please, need it. use me, ruin me, i-i don’t— i don’t care, just wanna feel good. please, taehyun.”

your cheeks are burning as hot as the sun and shame prickles the back of your neck. you can’t help how you cover your face with your hands as you realize how naked you feel under him, stripped bare by his eyes and his presence despite still being fully clothed. he peels your hands away, pinning them to the mattress just as you did to him minutes earlier. 

“wasn’t so hard now, was it?” he leers, shifting his head so that you can’t look away. one of his hands moves to cup your jaw, a thumb brushing lightly against your lips, and you allow it to push into your mouth and press down on your tongue. you suckle on the digit as your mind clouds up. moving your thin pajamas to the side with his other hand, he swipes two fingers through your soaked folds, bringing your slick up to your clit. he barely touches the already sensitive bud, rubbing tiny circles against it. you shift your hips up to gain more stimulation, but he pulls away. tutting, he sighs, “desperate little thing. don’t worry, i’m not feeling very patient right now either.”

within seconds, your bottoms are discarded and you’re spread wide for him, on complete and utter display for him. his boxers are shoved down to reveal his cock, stiff and flushed an angry shade of red. prominent veins meander their way down the shaft, the skin a shade darker than the rest of him — and you were right: he is thick, intimidatingly so.

but you've never been one to back down from a challenge. 

as he lines himself up with your awaiting entrance, his thumb slips out of your mouth so that he can find purchase on your waist, the warm tips of his fingers pressing into the soft skin. a stinging sensation floods your senses as he shifts his hips forward, his cock slowly stretching your walls far beyond what they’ve ever been before. shit, he’s huge, your pussy stuffed to the brim with him — it feels like he’s in your stomach, your throat, but he allows you to adjust inch by painstaking inch, something you’re grateful for. not that you’d ever voice that to him.

the sting disappears soon enough, morphing into a dull pleasure that isn’t quite enough to satisfy you. rolling your hips, you feel the head of his cock press into a spot deep inside you that sends jolts of pleasure through your body, yet he halts your motions with a firm grip on your hip bones. outwardly, he seems unaffected by the way your walls flutter around him, warm and wet and christ, overwhelmingly tight — inside, however, he’s on the verge of losing it, trying and failing to resist the urge to pound you into the mattress until you’re crying for him. his first thrust is merciless, pulling out and slamming back in so hard that you nearly see stars. when you keen, he knows you can take anything that he will give you. you always have to put up with his hardass tendencies, after all, his borderline mean and unyielding expectations that you somehow meet and even exceed sometimes. you can take it — you will take it, and well. he expects you to.

and, as he wishes, you do, barely able to keep your moans in check as he pounds into you over and over again, your breathing growing ragged and your hands gripping the sheets so hard that you fear that they may tear. the drag of his cock against your walls renders you light-headed and dizzy beyond belief, your eyebrows furrowed deeply while your bleary eyes screw shut. with he plays with the angle of his hips, trying for the best one, the one that would turn your quiet whimpers to unabashed moans — because he would be lying if he said that he doesn’t want to hear you scream for him, even if it meant waking the rest of your annoying family up. maybe they wouldn’t pester him as easily if he got you to. 

shoving your top up above your breasts, he uses one hand to knead one of your tits while he uses the other to halt your squirming. aggravation fills his veins as you continue to wiggle, your hips grinding up to meet his thrusts, greedy for more. 

“stay fucking still,” he bites, moving to swing your legs over his shoulders, effectively folding you in half below him. the angle causes your eyes to roll back into your head, your teeth biting your lip so hard that you almost bleed. as his thrusts resume, he brings a thumb down to your clit, and your walls immediately pulse around him. your mouth falls open as you whine, and he nearly cums just from the sight of your playing with your tits, thumbs circle the pebbled flesh. he resists the urge to lean down and suck on them; he needs to keep a clear head, or as clear as it can be in this situation. he needs to maintain his control. 

“‘m close, f-fuck, ‘m gonna, gonna cum,” you whisper frantically, now pinching your nipples between your fingers. the sight spurs him to fuck you faster, deeper, hitting spots that your measly fingers never could. your swollen lips part to allow quiet, pathetic whines escape, the buzz in your stomach building and building and building and—

it all stops.

“n-no!” you cry, but taehyun pins your hips down before you are able to chase your now fading pleasure. you despise how easily he can just take from you, even your orgasms he controls. the slight upward curve of his lips makes you want to curse him out.

“you're funny,” he remarks. 

“and you’re the worst,” you groan while you lightly slap his chest. catching your wrist, he pins it back to the bed. 

“aw, am i now?” he coos, his hips grinding into you again, teasing. it’s not enough, it’s not enough at all. 

“mhm, i can’t— ah, c-can’t stand you.”

“o-oh, you c-can’t?” he taunts, his mouth formed into a condescending little pout. “yet you’re letting me do this—” he punctuates the word with a particularly hard thrust out of nowhere, causing you to cry out and your nails to claw at his shoulders. “—to you. i can’t be that bad.”

“you are,” you pant as his cock begins to drag along your walls again. “fucking— you are that bad, i— nonono, please keep going. please!" 

taehyun does not heed your cries. rather, he pulls out completely, much to your contempt. whiplash becomes your new best friend as he flips you over onto your stomach, spine arched prettily behind you by the hands pulling your hips up. the sheets brush against your swollen nipples, the pillow below your head cushioning your head from the somewhat stiff mattress. you are rendered unable to push yourself up and out of this position when taehyun gathers your wrists in one hand and pins them behind you, yet you can’t bring yourself to even want to try, not when he slips his cock back inside you and resumes his previous swift pace. the angle has changed, and he presses perfectly into your g-spot now — your brain is completely empty, only able to process how amazing he’s making you feel. your moans grow louder and louder as your orgasm quickly builds up again. a hand curls into your hair and yanks, shoving your face into the pillow. 

“be a good little slut and shut up,” taehyun grunts out from behind you. he’s changed his mind: he doesn’t want anyone else hearing you. no, your pretty little noises should be reserved for him and him only, and he’s more than satisfied with the muffled sounds coming from you as he fucks you into the mattress. he feels your legs begin to give out from below you, but he takes it in stride, shifting his body so that he leans over your back, your legs spread out on both sides of his hips. he quietly admonishes you for enjoying this so much, no matter how hypocritical it is, only if to feel you clench around him and bring him closer to his release. 

your squeals are muffled as you finally, finally come undone, the knot in your stomach snapping and causing your entire body to quake. your walls quiver around his cock, and before he can spill inside you, he pulls out and jerks himself off, hand rapidly sliding up and down until he spills all over his hand with a shudder.

there’s no aftercare, no conversation, just ragged pants as both of you try to catch your breath again. taehyun essentially passes out as soon as he collapses next to you. you’re not sure what you would have said in this situation, so you are a bit grateful for his sleeping form. 

as you listen to his slow, rhythmic breathing, the gravity of what you've just done hits you square in the chest. your lungs feel as if they’ve been pumped with lead, your muscles tense and your mind reeling — shit. holy shit. you just fucked your boss — your boss that you will soon be married to and divorced from — and now? now, you have no idea how all of this is going to pan out. 

and no matter how your mind tries to spin it, there’s no way out of this one.

3k event masterlist | masterlist

© to agustdiv1ne. do not copy, repost, steal, and/or translate.

[acourtofthought]

Lucien when it comes to Elain:

"Don't just leave her on the damned floor!"

Lucien took off his jacket, kneeling before Elain.

Water poured forth, Lucien hoisting Elain in his arms and out of the way.

"Where is he keeping her?" Tell me anyway. List all of them." "I I need to find her."

Given that his own status as a mated male made him uninterested in any sort of female company these days.

"I'm a mated male now."

"I'm getting my mate back."

"Tell me about her - about Elain."

"Is....is there anything I can get for you?"

"Too thin. She must not be eating at all."

Looking at her now....She was pale, yes. The vacancy still glazing her features. But she couldn't breath as she faced him fully. She was the most beautiful female he'd ever seen.

Her eyes were the brown of a fawn's coat.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"She needs fresh air."

"Take her to the sea. Take her to some garden. But get her out of this house for an hour or two."

"It wasn't just about what he thought - it was the ... feeling. I sensed no ill will, no conniving. Only concern for her. And ... sorrow. Longing."

"Let me do something. About Elain. I heard - from my room. Everything that happened just now. It wouldn't hurt to have a healer look her over. Externally and internally."

"I think she went through something terrible."

"Please tell me," Lucien said when I crossed the threshold into the foyer, "What the healer says. And if - if you need me for anything."

Lucien inclined his head in a bow, the movement hiding the gleam in his eye—the longing and sadness.

Lucien. It was Lucien. Lucien, haggard and bloody, panting for breath. As if he'd run from the shore. His gaze settled on Elain, and he sagged a little. "Are you hurt?" he asked, coming toward us. Spying the blood speckling Elain's hand.

"I heard - what happened. I'm sorry for your loss. All of you. "He was a good man, he loved you all very much."

Elain fell into step beside me, peering at Lucien. He noticed it. "I heard you made the killing blow," he said.

To where Lucien now stood in the sitting room, close to Elain's side.

"How is she?"

"Does she still mourn him?

Lucien had encountered him, I realized. Somehow, in living with Jurian and Vassa at the manor, he'd run into Elain's former bethrothed. And managed to leave the human lord breathing.

"The bigger box is for you. The smaller one is for her."

"The pain etching deep into Lucien's face as he tried to hide his disappointment and longing."

Lucien as Lucien:

“She refused, and … Lucien told her to go back to the shit-hole she’d crawled out of. She took his eye as punishment.

I wondered—wondered if being emissary also meant being spymaster.

he’d already made many friends across the courts and had always been good at talking to people,

I found that he was running—fast. Faster than anything should be able to move.

“I thought you would have learned your lesson, Lucien. Though this time your silence will damn you as much as your tongue.” Lucien kept his eyes shut. Ready—he was ready for Rhysand to wipe out everything he was, to turn his mind, his self, into dust.

Then, shattering the silence like a shooting star, a voice—Lucien’s—bellowed across the chamber. “TO YOUR LEFT!”

Didn’t you realize I would help you after that? Oath or no oath?”

“Please,” Lucien said, bowing his head gracefully. “The effort to rebuild is our burden to share. It would be our honor.”

Lucien had gifted both to me—the dagger during the months before Amarantha, the belt in the weeks after her downfall, when I’d carried the dagger, along with many others, everywhere I went. You might as well look good if you’re going to arm yourself to the teeth, he’d said.

Lucien cleared his throat. “She meant no harm, Tam.” “I know she meant no harm,” he snapped. Lucien held his gaze. “Worse things have happened, worse things can happen. Just relax.”

Lucien had gone on, his tone pleading, Tamlin. Tam. Just let her train, let her master this—if the other High Lords do come for her, let her stand a chance …

a pattern of thinking and feeling that was old, and clever.

“I did it for you, too, you know.” Cold, hard words. “I went with him to get you back.”. “That day you—went away,” he said, struggling to avoid that other word—left. “I beat Tamlin back to the manor—received the message when we were out on the border and raced here. But the only trace of you was that ring, melted between the stones of the parlor. I got rid of it a moment before Tam arrived home to see it.”

Believe me, I’ve asked.” “For me—you asked them for me.” “Yes. I went last winter to inquire about breaking your bargain with Rhys.” “Why didn’t you tell me?” “I—we didn’t want to give you false hope.

I begged him for more time, but you’d already been gone for months.

My blood chilled. “You didn’t stop him.” “I tried. I begged him for mercy. He didn’t listen. He couldn’t listen.”

Lucien loosed a heavy sigh and slid an arm around my waist, the other threading through my hair to cradle my head. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "I'm sorry.". He held me, stroking soothing lines down my back.

Leave him. I should and could leave him. But to a fate perhaps worse than death. His russet eye gleamed. "Go."

But Lucien was there. / Lucien's sword refracted the light of the sun leaking through the canopy. And then met flesh and bone.

"I could train for as long as I liked, since no one believed I’d be dumb enough to kill my way up the long list of heirs. And when I grew bored with studying and fighting … I learned what I could of the land from its people. Learned about the people, too.”

He waded into the stream, boots off and pants rolled to his knees, and caught one with his bare hands.

Lucien picked them up by their tails as if he'd done it a thousand times. "I'll clean them while you start a fire."

"I had the element of surprise on my side." "No," Lucien said quietly. "That was all you".

Of all the sounds that Lucien so carefully sorted through while he kept watch.

I dreamed that he removed his cloak and added it over my blanket. / I'd been wearing my cloak but he'd indeed given me his.

I think Lucien shouted my name.

Like Rhys, he usually opted for words to win his battles,

He knew how to handle a weapon. How to kill, if need be.

Lucien, to his credit, didn’t back away a step. From Rhys, or me, or the Illyrians. The Clever Fox Stares Down Winged Death.

I counted the heartbeats, debating how much I’d interfere if he said something truly stupid, when he at last murmured, “There is a longer story to be told, it seems.” Smart answer.

He added to Lucien, who did not balk from those writhing shadows,

His talent was wasted in the Spring Court. There was a reason he had that fox mask, you know.”

He’d always had a casual grace about him, but here, tonight, with his hair tied back and jacket buttoned to his neck, he truly looked the part of a High Lord’s son. Handsome, powerful, a bit rakish—but well-mannered and elegant.

Lucien considered. “Can I offer my unsolicited advice?”

Lucien is loyal—fiercely so.

Especially since Lucien had left before breakfast for a library across the city to look up anything in regard to fixing the wall, a task I'd been more than willing to hand over. I might have felt guilty for never giving him a proper tour of Velaris, but.... he seemed eager.

Lucien had offered to make himself useful while we were gone by reading through some of the texts now piled on the tables throughout the sitting room.

"Let me guess: they said yes, but picking the location is now going to be the headache." Mor frowned, "Any suggestions?" Lucien tied back his hair with a strip of brown leather. "Do you have a map?"

“You will be going into the human territory,” Rhys warned. “I can’t spare a force to guard you—” “I don’t need one. I travel faster on my own.”

“It will be—very dangerous.” A half smile curved Lucien’s mouth. “Good. It’d be boring otherwise.”

"It was time," Lucien said quietly, giving me a squeeze. "For me to do something."

Cassian had given him free rein yesterday afternoon to loot his personal cache of weapons, though my friend had been economical about which ones he’d selected. The blade, plus a short sword, plus an assortment of daggers. A quiver of arrows and an unstrung bow were tied to his pack.

Rhys extended a hand to Lucien. Lucien studied it—then my mate’s face. I could nearly see all the hateful words they’d spoken. Dangling between them, between that outstretched hand and Lucien’s own. But Lucien took Rhys’s hand. That silent offer of not only transportation.

Seems like Lucien can still play the fox.

Lucien had remained behind to help with any of the human wounded still needing Fae healing, but had promised to come here when he finished.

Lucien had come here out of pity. Mercy.

The male had grown up alongside Eris. Had dealt with Eris’s and Beron’s cruelty. Had his lover slaughtered by his own father. But Lucien had learned to keep his cool.

The male was somehow able to move between his three roles - an emissary for the Night Court, ally to Jurian and Vassa, and liaison to Tamlin - and still dress immaculately.

"Set up the handsome one as High Lord of Autumn"

Perhaps you'll get a handsome fae lord as your mate, too "

"Lucien's cruel beauty"

Sculpted chest

Hard muscles of his shoulders

Broad hands

[axelsagewrites]

Hello. Could I request a fic with f reader working at Richmond and Jan Maas faling in love with reader. Just fluff. ❤️

Jan Maas*Sweet As You

Pairing: Jan Maas x f!reader

Word count: 1134

Warnings: pure fluff

Masterlist here

There were definite perks and draw backs of working at Richmond. On one hand as a receptionist, you got paid to do honestly not very much. However, on the other hand you had to deal with a weird amount of prank calls from football fans.

One recently developing perk was the free coffee you received every morning. No, it wasn't a company thing or from your boss or other colleagues. Every morning this week Jan Maas walked in with a black coffee in one hand and an iced caramel mocha latte with an extra shot of expresso in the other.

It all started when you happened to walk into work at the same time and he noticed the Starbucks cup in your hand. "Is that even coffee at this point?" He half teased half seriously wondered.

"It is coffee," you said, drawing out the words as you defended yourself as Jan opened the front door for you, "caffeine not enough for me. I need that sugar high to deal with you lot,"

Jan chuckled at you, walking you over to the desk where your coworker pretended not to be listening in. "Funny. I thought you were sweet enough. See you later," he said, walking away to leave you a blushing mess.

However as soon as he got out of sight Jan became equally as flustered as he realised what he'd said. What was worse was Sam hearing him muttering under his breath about it resulting in Sam telling all the guys who then set up a plan to teach Jan how to flirt.

The issue was he wasn't very good at it. Instead, every morning without fail he got your coffee for you. "Hey Jan," you called, rolling down your car window as you slowed down. It was 7am and he was walking to Richmond with two coffees in hand, "need a lift?"

Jan preferred to walk. He'd never really seen the big deal around cars. However, he was quick to accept your offer. "My coffees will bankrupt you," you joked as you accepted the drink before resuming your drive.

"Don’t worry about it," he laughed, "your worth the money,"

"Think you can buy my affection? “you teased as you were pulling into Richmond.

"Maybe," he said it quietly, his eyes darting away before back to yours. "Is it working?" He asked.

You turned the car off, taking a long sip out your coffee while pretending to think about it, "I think it might be," you finally said, a smile on your lips and a large grin on his. "Throw in a pastry next time and I'm yours,"

When people saw you get out the same car there were some rumours to say the least. Another drawback of the job. However, another perk was walking in right now with a coffee and a suspiciously sweet-smelling brown bag.

"I wasn't sure which to get so I picked whichever looked the sweetest," he said as he placed the bag down.

"You know me so well," you grinned, "thanks though. Take it you don't have time to have one before practise?" You asked despite knowing he didn’t, but you couldn't help but try.

Your smile plus the way your eyelashes batted had Jan Maas willing to pay the late fee. "I suppose one wouldn't hurt," he said as he moved to sit on the edge of the reception desk as you offered him a pastry, "You should make Stroopkoeken with me one day. You'd like them,"

"What are they?" You asked, not realising how adorable Jan thought your head tilt was in your confusion.

"They're like a Carmel biscuit. My mum would make them for me growing up. Better than any Starbucks pastry," he joked, “But you have to make them from scratch to get the best experience,”

“You’ll have to teach me some time,” you smiled back and is if on queue his phone began ringing.

Jan deflated when he saw his teammates call, “I’ll need to go now. I’ll see you later,”

As he began to walk away you cringed before taking a deep breath, “Wait!” you called making him stop in his tracks. “Are you free tomorrow night? Maybe we could try making those biscuits,” you offered with an awkward smile that he found insanely endearing.

A wide grin broke onto his face, “I’d love to. It’s a date,” he said before actually turning to go to practise, leaving you a grinning mess.

-

“A baking date is perfect!”

“Nah man you should go out to a restaurant for the first date,”

“Oh, what if you take her to Sam’s place for dinner first?”

“There’s a new bar up the street you could go to after,”

“What you gonna wear bruv?”

“Make sure you actually clean up. Chicks notice that kinda stuff,”

“Oh, you should get her flowers. Birds dig flowers,”

“And make sure when you go to kiss her- “

“Woah woah guys!” Jan said, standing up from the bench and pushing past his teammates who’d essentially jumped on him after practise when they found out why he was late, “It’s just a first date. Well, I think it’s a date. I said it’s a date, but people here don’t always mean date, oh god what if she doesn’t realise it’s a date?” Jan began to panic, turning to his equally clueless mates.

They were all panicking till a loud, “Oi,” stopped them, “Don’t listen to these pricks,” Roy told him after pretending not to care the whole time, “Shower, shave, tidy up, and calm down. She’ll know it’s a date since all you two do is flirt like some snot nosed teens,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“Roy’s right,” Sam said, standing to put a hand on Jan’s shoulder, “You’ve got nothing to worry about,”

“Not what I said but alright,” Roy shrugged but this time he got ignored.

Well apart from Jamie who rolled his eyes before adding his own words of wisdom. “Yeah, mate just be yourself,”

-

The kitchen was now a mess, sugar spilt everywhere, and a pot that looked like it would never be clean again and of course a plate of perfectly made biscuits. “I don’t know how my mum made it look so easy,” Jan said.

You laughed as you reached up to wipe the flour off his forehead, “Yeah but they taste good so who cares,” you said, noticing the way his cheeks tinged pink whenever you touched him.

“They’re almost as sweet as you,” he smiled softly, brushing your hair out of your face making your own skin flush.

Enough was enough you thought, “So tell me something,” you said, Jan humming as he waited for you to ask, “Why haven’t you kissed me yet?” you nearly whispered.

“I thought you’d never ask,”

Pairing: Jan Maas x f!reader

Word count: 1134

Warnings: pure fluff

There were definite perks and draw backs of working at Richmond. On one hand as a receptionist, you got paid to do honestly not very much. However, on the other hand you had to deal with a weird amount of prank calls from football fans.

One recently developing perk was the free coffee you received every morning. No, it wasn't a company thing or from your boss or other colleagues. Every morning this week Jan Maas walked in with a black coffee in one hand and an iced caramel mocha latte with an extra shot of expresso in the other.

It all started when you happened to walk into work at the same time and he noticed the Starbucks cup in your hand. "Is that even coffee at this point?" He half teased half seriously wondered.

"It is coffee," you said, drawing out the words as you defended yourself as Jan opened the front door for you, "caffeine not enough for me. I need that sugar high to deal with you lot,"

Jan chuckled at you, walking you over to the desk where your coworker pretended not to be listening in. "Funny. I thought you were sweet enough. See you later," he said, walking away to leave you a blushing mess.

However as soon as he got out of sight Jan became equally as flustered as he realised what he'd said. What was worse was Sam hearing him muttering under his breath about it resulting in Sam telling all the guys who then set up a plan to teach Jan how to flirt.

The issue was he wasn't very good at it. Instead, every morning without fail he got your coffee for you. "Hey Jan," you called, rolling down your car window as you slowed down. It was 7am and he was walking to Richmond with two coffees in hand, "need a lift?"

Jan preferred to walk. He'd never really seen the big deal around cars. However, he was quick to accept your offer. "My coffees will bankrupt you," you joked as you accepted the drink before resuming your drive.

"Don’t worry about it," he laughed, "your worth the money,"

"Think you can buy my affection? “you teased as you were pulling into Richmond.

"Maybe," he said it quietly, his eyes darting away before back to yours. "Is it working?" He asked.

You turned the car off, taking a long sip out your coffee while pretending to think about it, "I think it might be," you finally said, a smile on your lips and a large grin on his. "Throw in a pastry next time and I'm yours,"

When people saw you get out the same car there were some rumours to say the least. Another drawback of the job. However, another perk was walking in right now with a coffee and a suspiciously sweet-smelling brown bag.

"I wasn't sure which to get so I picked whichever looked the sweetest," he said as he placed the bag down.

"You know me so well," you grinned, "thanks though. Take it you don't have time to have one before practise?" You asked despite knowing he didn’t, but you couldn't help but try.

Your smile plus the way your eyelashes batted had Jan Maas willing to pay the late fee. "I suppose one wouldn't hurt," he said as he moved to sit on the edge of the reception desk as you offered him a pastry, "You should make Stroopkoeken with me one day. You'd like them,"

"What are they?" You asked, not realising how adorable Jan thought your head tilt was in your confusion.

"They're like a Carmel biscuit. My mum would make them for me growing up. Better than any Starbucks pastry," he joked, “But you have to make them from scratch to get the best experience,”

“You’ll have to teach me some time,” you smiled back and is if on queue his phone began ringing.

Jan deflated when he saw his teammates call, “I’ll need to go now. I’ll see you later,”

As he began to walk away you cringed before taking a deep breath, “Wait!” you called making him stop in his tracks. “Are you free tomorrow night? Maybe we could try making those biscuits,” you offered with an awkward smile that he found insanely endearing.

A wide grin broke onto his face, “I’d love to. It’s a date,” he said before actually turning to go to practise, leaving you a grinning mess.

-

“A baking date is perfect!”

“Nah man you should go out to a restaurant for the first date,”

“Oh, what if you take her to Sam’s place for dinner first?”

“There’s a new bar up the street you could go to after,”

“What you gonna wear bruv?”

“Make sure you actually clean up. Chicks notice that kinda stuff,”

“Oh, you should get her flowers. Birds dig flowers,”

“And make sure when you go to kiss her- “

“Woah woah guys!” Jan said, standing up from the bench and pushing past his teammates who’d essentially jumped on him after practise when they found out why he was late, “It’s just a first date. Well, I think it’s a date. I said it’s a date, but people here don’t always mean date, oh god what if she doesn’t realise it’s a date?” Jan began to panic, turning to his equally clueless mates.

They were all panicking till a loud, “Oi,” stopped them, “Don’t listen to these pricks,” Roy told him after pretending not to care the whole time, “Shower, shave, tidy up, and calm down. She’ll know it’s a date since all you two do is flirt like some snot nosed teens,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“Roy’s right,” Sam said, standing to put a hand on Jan’s shoulder, “You’ve got nothing to worry about,”

“Not what I said but alright,” Roy shrugged but this time he got ignored.

Well apart from Jamie who rolled his eyes before adding his own words of wisdom. “Yeah, mate just be yourself,”

-

The kitchen was now a mess, sugar spilt everywhere, and a pot that looked like it would never be clean again and of course a plate of perfectly made biscuits. “I don’t know how my mum made it look so easy,” Jan said.

You laughed as you reached up to wipe the flour off his forehead, “Yeah but they taste good so who cares,” you said, noticing the way his cheeks tinged pink whenever you touched him.

“They’re almost as sweet as you,” he smiled softly, brushing your hair out of your face making your own skin flush.

Enough was enough you thought, “So tell me something,” you said, Jan humming as he waited for you to ask, “Why haven’t you kissed me yet?” you nearly whispered.

“I thought you’d never ask,”

Taglist Sign Up Here

General taglist: @strvngestark @headinfantasy @meg-ro @427120lxld @obx-josie18 @ravenmoore14 @tessakate @justtilly @jjkjbhj @clairacassidy @valeskafics @perla434 @selenestar78 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @urfavnoirette @randomstory56 @qardasngan @https-luvvia @im-the-fucking-lunar-prince @bryandechartisasmolbean @glorywielder101

Ted Lasso Taglist: @gee72sstuff @qardasngan @daisydark @slay-queer@strvngestark @scrumptiousroadponymoney @flora157 @thejediprincess56 @ringpopdust @meg-ro @saay-karani @marvgrrl @scaramou

[something-tofightfor]

Liminality: Part 15

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Female Reader

Word Count: 11,066

Rating: M - There's some smut, but it's not graphic.

Summary: Now that the secret's out and you've lost the element of surprise, your plan of action needs to change.

With only two days to figure things out, you're pressed for time, meaning emotions are running high. There are some things you don't want to admit, but not speaking them out loud might just be worse.

Author’s note:

Frankie Friday, anyone? This chapter was a labor of love, and is beginning to set up things that I've been planning since I first came up with this story. I hope you all like it as much as I do. Thank you for reading.

Masterlist (for the journal entries and all of the other 'extras' + previous chapters)

You stayed at Ironhead’s, though you didn’t hide in the office while you were there. 

After sending out a group text to update Frankie, Pope and Yovanna - and a separate text to Frankie, explaining what had happened and that you were safe - you went out into the main bar area and took a seat at it. 

Both Will and Benny came out and kept you company, the older Miller joining the female bartender to help with the lunch rush while Benny plopped down on a stool beside you, both of them doing what it took to keep you distracted and your thoughts occupied. 

You ordered food that you only picked at, still trying to understand how, after so long of being so careful, you’d blown everything because you’d let Tom get under your skin. Which is exactly what he’s been trying to do this entire time. 

It had been stupid of you, and you knew it. But neither Benny or Will had looked angry or disappointed. Instead, they’d just seemed concerned, flipping immediately into protect mode as all of you waited to see what would happen. 

“I should have recorded it.” You hung your head, shoulders slumped. “Then you could all hear what we said. Then you could prepare for -”

“You didn’t. And there’s nothin’ you can do about that now.” Will leaned over the bar and said your name, waiting until you met his gaze to speak again. “The only thing you can do is get yourself ready for it. That’s all any of us can do.” 

“He’s right.” Benny put his hand on top of yours. “And I’m going to be right fucking there with you when he shows up. I want him to see what a piece of shit I think he is before -”

“Ben.” Will straightened up, head moving from side to side. “Not the place. Not the time.” Benny pulled his hand back and grumbled, reaching for the glass in front of him and downing most of it. “We’ll talk about it later.” 

You wondered how long it would take Frankie to see the messages and to get to you - and what his reaction would be. He’s going to be pissed. He’s going to be so pissed. You checked your phone and saw that there was a message from him from a few minutes earlier, and winced at the short, harsh nature of it. 

Stay where you are. I’m coming. 

“Frankie’s on his way.” You held your phone up. “I guess he’s done flying for the day.” Will dragged a hand through his hair and nodded, and Benny stood, flattening his hands on the bartop. 

“I’m going to go back into the office. I need to get some shit done before he gets here.” Will nodded, and as Benny turned away from both of you, you rubbed at the bridge of your nose. 

“I wish I could have seen the look on his face when you slipped.” Will picked up a towel and started rubbing at the already clean space in front of you. “He must have been pissed.”

“Probably. He was probably so mad that I figured it out faster than you guys did, or at least he thinks I did, anyway. But he was just … he gave me this look like… I don’t know, Will. It was scary. He stayed so still, and … he just smiled.” 

“Redfly does that.” He sighed. “It’s almost worse when he doesn’t react.” You agreed. “He got real good at it when we were enlisted, and that’s how we all knew shit was bad in South America. We’d never seen him the way he was then.” Will reached for your glass and then picked up the soda gun, tilting it to refill your drink. “And none of us have ever seen anything like now.” 

You dragged your thumb along the condensation on the bartop and then looked up at  the blonde. “I’m sorry.” You saw confusion on his face, Will frowning as he waited to see what else you’d say. “I’m sorry that your friend is … not what you thought. And that my being here brought it to -”

“He was doing this shit before you got here.” Will rolled his eyes. “You being here sped things up, but you didn’t cause it. You just made it real fucking clear that there’s no limit to what he’ll…” He clenched his jaw. “You being here is a good thing. Especially for ‘Fish.” 

Part of you agreed, but another part of you felt responsible for the fact that Frankie would need to end the life of someone he’d considered a brother for the majority of his adult life. Even though stopping Tom is important no matter what, it … 

“What does she owe you, Ironhead?” You felt him behind you as he spoke, Frankie pressing against your back as he wound his arms around you. “Because whatever it is, we’re paying and then leaving, and -” 

“It’s on the house, ‘Fish. You know that.” Will rubbed at his jaw and looked past you and at his friend. “We’re all good here. You good?” Frankie’s arm’s tightened around you and he didn’t say anything else, even as Benny reappeared at the end of the bar, a towel slung over one shoulder. 

“Good to see ya, man.” He sidestepped a stool and then stood next to you, resting one elbow on the wood. “Good flights today?”

“Real good.” You could hear the tension in his voice as well as feel it in the way he held you. One hand rose to stroke the length of his forearm without pause, your fingers glancing over the raised skin of his scar. Oh, Frankie. “Dinner at my place tonight. What time you off?”

“We can both be out of here at 7.” Will cleared his throat. “You tell Pope yet?” Frankie grunted out a no, and Will’s gaze shifted to Benny, who sighed, the sound heavy. 

“I’ll tell him. We’ll bring some beers. There a game on tonight?”

“Hell if I know.” Frankie’s arms finally loosened, his hands moving to rest on the back of your barstool. “I’ve been busy worrying about a bunch of other shit.” Ok, that’s enough. 

“Alright.” You stood, smiling at Will and then at Benny. “One of you tell Pope and Yova about dinner. We’ll order wings or something and have ‘em delivered.” You looked over at Frankie for the first time that night and were stunned to see how wrecked he looked, his skin paler than usual and his hair disheveled, like he’d spent the entire drive over running his hands through it. “Oh, Frankie.” 

Benny nudged you forward, and you reached for Frankie’s hand, your fingers slipping between his. Neither of you spoke as you headed for the exit, and once you were back out in the late afternoon sunshine, you took a deep breath, collecting your thoughts. “I’ll drive. I don’t want to let you out of my sight.” 

“I need my car, Frankie.” You turned to face him, reaching up to rub your thumb over his cheek. “Can’t just leave it here for the next couple days.We’re trying to keep things normal, so -”

“You can get it tomorrow.” He pulled you closer, hands settling on your hips as he stared you down. His eyes were still mostly brown, but they seemed lighter - and it wasn’t a brief change; it was constant. Oh, Frankie. “Please do not make me watch you walk away from me right now.” It was a simple enough request - and you could get the car the following day; you leaving it in the bar parking lot wasn’t out of the ordinary. Especially since Will and Benny own it. 

“Ok.” You nodded twice, and then leaned in to kiss him. “I’m fine, Francisco. It was scary when it happened, but …” You sighed. “There’s no way he would have tried anything in public or in front of the Millers.” 

“No, he wouldn’t have.” Frankie’s eyes shut and he sighed, his head shaking back and forth slowly. “I just … I got that message, and then I still had another flight that I couldn’t cancel, and …” 

“I know. But I was safe. I said something really stupid, but I was safe.” Moving your hand, you put your arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, Frankie’s head immediately lowering so that he could bury his face against your neck. He held you close, and only let go when the blare of someone’s horn from the street startled him. “Let’s go back to your place. We can talk there.” 

— 

But when you got to his house, Frankie didn’t seem interested in talking. 

Instead, as soon as the front door was shut and locked behind you, he was on you, mouth moving over your face and neck as his hands pulled at your clothing. He’s never been like this before. It was sudden but not unwelcome, and once you’d managed to kick your shoes off and put both of your hands up, fingers sliding through his hair, you finally got a word in. I need to know what’s going on in his head. 

“Wait.” You tugged on his hair, pulling his face away from you. “Frankie, wait a second. Talk to me.” 

“I can smell him on you.” He curled his lip, eyes more gold than brown, though it was gone before you knew it. “It’s mostly just Tom, but since we’re so close to the moon and you riled him up, it’s the wolf too. And I fucking hate it.” 

“Could you smell it before?” Your breath came out shaky, but you continued. “Before I got to Florida, I mean? Do wolves smell like wolves, or -”

“

“I don’t know.” He leaned in, nuzzling against your throat. “Maybe. But after he stopped coming out with me when I run, I guess… I guess I stopped seeing him close to the full moon altogether. And since I’d never been around another wolf, I didn’t … fuck. I should have paid more attention.” 

“No.” You kissed his temple. “Because you had a suspicion the night he cut himself, and you didn’t smell it then, either. You had to smell his blood. Maybe it’s just before the moon, Frankie. Maybe -”

“Then why did I react the way I did to Ashley?” His hand slid beneath your shirt and ran up the center of your back, his skin warm against yours. “I walked into that hospital room and I knew.”

“She was on the defensive.” You swallowed, stroking the back of his neck as Frankie’s mouth worried the skin at the base of your throat. “She was on high alert and so were you, so maybe … maybe that’s what it takes. Or maybe since you knew she was a wolf, there’d be something different to scent, or -”

“I’ll ask her.” He groaned as he mouthed at your pulse point, raising his head slowly. “But right now all I want is to get these fucking clothes off of you and make you smell like me instead of that fucking …” He bit at your chin, your head tilting backwards as you whined. I kind of like him like this. I kind of like … 

“You going to be able to keep it together if we have sex right now?” He met your eyes, his lips parted as he waited to see what else you’d say. “I thought you were riled up last month, but this is …” You bit your lip. “I wish it was for a different reason, but I kinda like you like this.” 

“No promises.” He raised a brow, and for the first time, you saw a brief smile on his lips. “Except that yes I can keep it together enough not to bite you.” He leaned in, tilting his head to the side and letting his mouth hover over yours. “Hard, anyway.” That made you giggle, the sound catching you by surprise - and making Frankie’s eyes widen as his smile returned after he backed away. “It’s good to hear that coming from you.” 

“You’ll hear a lot more things you like from me if you kiss me again.” You tugged on his hair, licking your lips. “Do you want to stay out here, or go into your room?” 

“Bedroom.” He nudged you toward the doorway. “We’re having company later and I think they’d appreciate not sitting on the same couch that we just fucked on.” That made you laugh again, and you leaned in, kissing his lips. 

“You’re so considerate.” He snorted as you stepped away, turning your back to him and reaching down to pull your shirt off. “It’s one of the reasons I love you.” His hands found their way to your hips as he followed you into the bedroom, Frankie close behind. “Wait.” You turned to face him, tossing your shirt into the dirty laundry pile. “You said… we’re having company.” 

“I did.” He focused on you, only breaking eye contact when he pulled his shirt off, too, throwing it over with yours. “And I meant it exactly how it sounded.” 

“I like that.” You undid the button on your pants, shimmying out of them and watching as he unbuckled his belt, pulling it free from the loops with one hand. “Are we going to talk about -”

“After.” He dropped his jeans, stepping out of them before he kicked them to the side. “Need you first.” He moved forward, his hands finding your bare skin and sliding over it, wide palms moving fluidly as he urged you closer. “Sit on the end of the bed.” You nodded, carefully turning so that he didn’t have to let you go. 

He walked with you to the bed, and as you lowered yourself onto the mattress, you looked up, raising a brow as he stayed in front of you. “I’m in the perfect position, Frankie.” You placed your hands at his waist, fingertips trailing along the edge of the elastic band of his underwear. “Let me -” 

“Later.” His hips jerked forward as your hands moved, but he shook his head. “I -” You paid no attention and tilted your head to the right, leaning forward and kissing his abdomen, mouth moving inward toward his belly button. “Fuck, you’re not … you’re going to …” He was hard beneath the cotton, the outline of him clearly visible against the light gray material. “Shit.” 

You smiled as you moved your mouth down, your hand dropping from his waist to cup the bottom of his bulge as you kissed along the length of it. The urge to press your thighs together was strong, but you couldn’t with him where he was - and you knew that when you finally removed the rest of your clothing, it would be apparent that teasing him had turned you on. Good. Good, he needs to know. 

Making your way back up, you opened your mouth and sucked the tip of him between your lips, tongue lapping at the cloth. He hissed, one hand moving to grip your shoulder and the other going to the back of your head. “You’re in a mood today.” He groaned and mumbled your name as you squeezed him gently. “Gonna make me come in my goddamn underwear like a -” He moaned when you dragged your teeth gently along him as you lifted your head, raising your eyes to meet his. 

“No. I was just teasing you.” Licking your lips, you shrugged. “You’re very tense, Frankie.” He was breathing hard, his eyes bright. “I just …” Biting the inside of your lip, you sighed. “I was trying to help.”

He moved abruptly, dropping to his knees in front of you faster than you thought possible, and then it was him looking up at you. “You like teasing me?” He reached up, one hand sliding along the inside of your thigh. “Let me return the favor.” You widened the spread of your legs as his hand moved closer to your center, and when one of Frankie’s thick fingers found its target, pressing against the damp fabric, you couldn’t stop the whimper that escaped you. 

“Jesus, you …” You closed your eyes and tilted your head back, a second finger joining his first. “Holy shit.” His mouth met the inside of your thigh before it moved inward, the motion of his fingers never ceasing. 

You deserved the teasing - deserved to have him do the same thing you’d done to him - touching and tasting you through the fabric instead of without it as a barrier. It’s only fair. Reopening your eyes, you looked down at him, watching his progress and gasping when he withdrew his hand and used it to urge your leg over his shoulder. 

He pressed down on your other one with his hand, widening the spread of your legs, and before you could say anything to him, he took the edge of your underwear between his teeth and tugged, releasing it moments later and letting it snap back against your skin. 

You moaned at the feeling - half his name and half just noise, and then Frankie’s mouth was on you, pressing kisses to your soaked core and dragging his tongue along it afterward. You dug your heel into the center of his back and curled your fingers, bunching up the blankets beneath you against your palms. 

He’d already proven time and time again that he was capable of getting you off quickly with his mouth, and you knew that if he continued, that time would be no different. I need to tell him to stop. “F-Frankie.” You forced it out, even as you rolled your hips forward and against his mouth. “Unless you stop, I’m…” He snapped the elastic again, which made you pause, teeth digging into your lower lip. Dammit. “I need you.” 

He looked up then, pulling back enough that when he exhaled, the heat of his breath fanned out over you and made you shiver. You repeated yourself, nodding as you sat up and reached behind you to unhook your bra. “Need you too.” He eased your leg down, and once it wasn’t in the way anymore, he rose, reaching down to take off his underwear. “You have no fucking idea how much.” 

Frankie climbed into the bed as you moved yourself backwards and into a more comfortable position. Once you were in place, you also took your underwear off, staring up at him as he reached over and into the drawer for a condom, the muscles in his upper body rippling with each motion. I think I do know how much.  

You assumed he’d tear the foil open immediately, but instead of doing that, he set the square down on the pillow next to you and then leaned over, taking a slow breath as his eyes moved over your face. “You put yourself in danger today by meeting with him, and I don’t like that.” He clenched his jaw and you saw a muscle in his cheek twitch. “I understand why you did it, and I know you were safe after, but it still…” 

“I know.” You spoke quietly, reaching over with one hand to touch his. “I’m sorry that it happened that way.” Frankie lowered his head and kissed your cheek before turning so that his lips were in front of your ear. 

“You will never have to put yourself in that position again.” You heard the growl in his voice, and when he met your eyes again, his expression was hard. “I promise.” All you could do was nod, reaching up to pull his face back down to yours so that you could kiss him. 

You could feel the tension in his shoulders, but as the kiss deepened, Frankie’s lips parting at the first gentle probe of your tongue, he relaxed. That’s good. He needs to relax… and so do I. 

When he broke away to breathe, you jerked your head to the side, eyes moving from Frankie’s face in the direction of the condom. “You gonna use that, or what?” 

— 

“They’re going to be here in like ten minutes, Frankie.” You were toweling off, though your attention was on the shower, where Frankie still stood under the steaming water. “We’re cutting it really fucking close.” 

He grumbled out an agreement, but only moments later the water stopped and he poked his head out. His eyes widened at the sight of you holding out a fresh, dry towel, but he took it without saying anything. Despite the time crunch, you still took a few moments to stare at him when he stepped out and onto the bathroom floor, the towel hanging low on his hips, though it was wrapped tightly, the end tucked into place. 

He caught you looking and straightened up, one side of his mouth lifting into a smirk. “See something you like?” 

“Maybe.” You winked at him and forced yourself to turn away, giving yourself one final look in the mirror. “I’m glad we ordered food before we showered.” He stepped up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, meeting your gaze through your reflections. “What?”

“How are you so calm?” You’d known it was coming. Though the two of you had pushed the truth of your situation to the side long enough to focus on each other in bed, the fact of the matter was that in only a few minutes’ time, your friends were going to arrive to talk over something very serious. Shit. 

“I don’t know.” You pulled the hem of your t-shirt into place and then reached up to pinch the bridge of your nose. “I’m trying not to let myself think about it right now, to be honest.” Turning so that you could look at him, you tried to smile. “I have to believe that between all of us we can figure something out, and that it’ll -”

“We’ve already figured it out. I’m going to fucking kill him.” He didn’t flinch as he said it, Frankie’s tone even. “And if, for some reason I can’t, or I fail…  then you and Benny will finish the job with silver.” 

You hadn’t even considered that Frankie might not be able to kill Tom. And if he failed, then that means… no. “You’re not going to fail.” You put your hand against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath it. “Frankie -”

“No. I’m not. But …” He shrugged. “We need to prepare for anything.” You knew that he was right, and that Benny wouldn’t hesitate to raise - and use - a gun. “Let me get dressed. I don’t think any of those guys want to see this much of me when they get here.” You lowered your head and nodded, trying to steady yourself as Frankie backed away and then disappeared into his bedroom. 

You exited into the main hallway, turning and making your way into the kitchen, where you busied yourself with getting plates and napkins ready. Despite everything, you felt comfortable moving around in the space, the feeling from the morning after you’d been with him for the first time amplified. And he likes having me here, too. 

You glanced down at what you wore and smiled, briefly closing your eyes. You’d left a few things at his place - a few outfits and a toothbrush, along with some toiletries - so that you weren’t just constantly bringing everything back and forth. It made you feel more settled, and that was something that both of you liked, especially with the situation you found yourselves in. As you finished, you looked around and let your gaze linger on the chalkboard.

He hadn’t erased your message from the morning you’d left after him, but he had added to it; an arrow pointing directly at it along with three words: I want to. 

It was more a note for himself than anything else, but it still made you grin and your cheeks heat. I can’t believe I found someone like him. You finished with the dishes and then turned back toward the living room, checking your phone as you crossed the space. 

“Pope’s about to pull up.” Frankie entered the room, running his hand through his towel-dried hair. “Benny and Will shouldn’t be too far behind.” You hummed out an agreement and lowered yourself onto the couch, hands in your lap. He sat beside you after unlocking the front door, pulling you close and encouraging you to tuck your head against his chest. “You smell better.” He kissed your hair, inhaling deeply. “And I put your clothes into the washer.” 

You laughed at that, the sound short. “Thank you.” You heard a car pulling up, followed by the sound of a door slamming, and only a few seconds later, Pope was walking through the front door, a 6-pack of beer in one hand. Frankie didn’t stand to greet him, and after saying hello, he walked into the kitchen, returning a minute later with an open beer. “Yova said to tell you she’s sorry she couldn’t be here. She had a spin class or some shit tonight, and she didn’t want to miss it.” He sat on the chair, eyeing the two of you. “Molly’s in the class.” 

It made sense - keeping up appearances was going to be important. And if Molly’s acting weird, she’ll be able to tell us. “We ordered food. It should be here soon.” You checked your phone. “Arthur has our order and is getting close.” Pope nodded, looking between you and Frankie. 

“I’ve been working on some things today. I think Yova and I are going to stop at the RV on the way out of town tomorrow and drop some shit off for you.” 

“Where are you going after?” You sat up, putting your hands in your lap. “Isn’t the RV out of the way?” 

“St. Augustine.” He gave you a small smile. “She’s never been. And it’s a good alibi, just in case.” You agreed - but that brought up another question. 

“I didn’t even think of that. Obviously if … when Tom goes missing, you guys will be questioned, since you’re his friends. And we’ll be at the RV, but … it’s in all of your names. They’ll look there, too. And if you fight him, Frankie, there’s going to be blood, and -”

“I said I’ve been working on some things.” Pope leaned in, saying your name. “I need you to trust me when I say that we’re planned shit like this out before. It’s a hell of a lot easier when you’ve got money.”

“I…” You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. “What if Tom fucks you over? What if he fucks us all over, and tells Molly, or tells someone from the Chaos line, or … I don’t know, preemptively calls the police and tells them to go to the RV site, and -”

“Then we fucking deal with it.” Frankie stood, crossing his arms. “There was enough wolf in his blood after the moon that I could sense it, so if they find blood at the clearing, it’ll come back animal with some human DNA in it, whether it’s mine or his.” He turned in a slow circle. “And we’ve all bled up there at one point or another just from doing dumb shit. All of our DNA is all over that trailer from the last couple years.” 

“I don’t think he’d call police.” Pope spoke up, taking a sip from the beer bottle. “If he wants to finish this, he won’t want to be interrupted.” It made sense, and as the three of you thought those words over, you heard another car pull up, followed by the sound of Benny and Will’s voices as they greeted someone. The food. 

Frankie walked toward the door and pulled it open for them, saying hello to his friends and then addressing the delivery guy by name. Good timing. The three men came into the room at the same time, Will carrying one bag, Frankie another, and Benny with a second 6 pack of beer - and a bottle of soda - in his hands. 

You greeted them, too, and didn’t miss the wink Benny gave you after assessing your new outfit and Frankie’s still damp hair. Don’t say a word, Benjamin. He didn’t - about that. But it was Benny that spoke up first, gesturing toward the kitchen as he headed in that direction. 

“We’ve got some important shit to talk about … but we should eat first.” He paused, looking around at the rest of you. “Mission planning always goes much smoother when you’re not fuckin’s starving.” 

“Can’t argue with that, little brother.” Will nodded, following him toward the kitchen. “Lead the way.” 

— 

You didn’t talk about the plan while you ate, but you talked about other things. 

The five of you sat out in Frankie’s back yard, and they listened while you recounted your meeting with Tom in detail. When you got to the end, repeating that he’d said to tell Frankie he’d see you in a couple days, you felt him stiffen next to you, though he’d kept quiet. 

“So he’s going to be at the RV.” You nodded, your attention on Pope. “Which means that he has two days to plan, too.” 

“But he’s only got himself.” Benny cut in, pulling his phone out. “And we’ve got all of us.” You definitely had the advantage, but it only went so far. “And,” the younger Miller continued as he typed on his screen. “Tom’s in Orlando right now.” He turned the device outward so that you could see a photo that had been posted roughly an hour earlier. “He went to that conference.” 

Frankie took the phone and stared at it, and you did, too. The picture was of Tom and a few other people sitting in a restaurant, with what looked like registration packets sitting on the table in front of them. He actually fucking went. 

“So what, is he going to run 90 miles as a wolf?” Will scratched the side of his head. “That doesn’t seem right. It would take him hours. If he brings his car back here, he can’t use the conference as a cover.”

“You know how fucking easy it is to get your hands on a shit car and register it to someone else, Will.” Frankie handed the phone back. “And if he doesn’t take the toll roads, the license plate won’t be picked up, so as far as anyone knows, he’ll be in Orlando and just hanging out in his hotel room until it’s time to check out … and he doesn’t.” You hadn’t even considered the traffic cameras, so you were glad he had. “My guess is he goes to the conference tomorrow and the day after, and heads here early afternoon. He’ll park in one of the overnight lots for camping that’s closer, and then wait til he turns to go to the RV.” 

“You’ve thought about this.” He nodded. “But that means you’d have to confront him as a wolf.” He nodded again. “You won’t get answers.” 

“Unless I don’t kill him until morning.” Frankie scratched the back of his neck. “If I’m able to hurt him enough to keep him there, then I can wait til we’re both human again, and -”

“I’ll gladly tranquilize his ass.” Benny spoke up, his tone hard. “Put enough of that shit into him to knock out a fucking elephant, and sit with him until the goddamn sun comes up.” 

“Me too.” You reached over, touching Frankie’s leg. “I wouldn’t think twice about it.” 

“I want you up in the blind.” He looked over at you. “I don’t want you on the ground in case anything goes wrong.” 

“No.” You shook your head, the motion almost violent. “No. I can’t do shit from up there. He’s actually hurt me, Frankie. I swear I won’t get in your way or Benny’s, but I want to be on the ground.” 

“She’s right, ‘Fish.” Will held up a hand. “More people on the ground will confuse him. He’ll have to try to pay attention to a hell of a lot more, and it could give you the upper hand.” 

“One of the things I’m taking out there tomorrow is a silver net.” Pope pulled his phone out and showed you and Frankie a picture. “There is a surprisingly robust market for shit like this. People take their cosplay very seriously.” That made you snort back a laugh, and Benny joined you, Will following along a few minutes later. “Anyway. It’s electroplated silver, but the girl that did it told me it’s pure.” 

“We could test it.” Frankie swallowed. “I can turn, and you can test it on me.” 

“‘Fish, that …” Pope started speaking and then stopped. “That might actually be a good idea.” He stood. “It’s in my trunk. Where should I bring it?”

“Garage.” Frankie stood, wiping his hands on his pants. “Let’s get this shit over with.” He reached for your hand, fingers closing around yours as he helped you to your feet. “You don’t have to watch.”

“Yes, I do.” You could almost feel his gratitude, and as you headed for the garage - and Pope for his car - all of you were silent. Frankie, to your knowledge, had never attempted to fully turn on command. And he’s doing it tonight just to test this net. 

“We’ll wait out here. Tell us when it’s alright to come in.” You assured Will that you would, and then you and Frankie entered the garage, his right hand reaching out to flip the lights on as you passed the switch. 

He undressed quickly, pulling his t-shirt off and setting it on top of his workbench along with his pants and boxers before he turned to face you.”I don’t know if this will work.”

“It will. You can do it.” You reached out, cupping his cheek with one hand. “It’s close enough to the moon that it’ll probably be easier than it would be otherwise, too.” He swallowed, staring at you. “I love you, Francisco. I -”

“You do it.” He wet his lips. “No way in fucking hell I’ll hurt you, and I have no idea how I’m going to react to this.” 

“You’ve come a long way in a month.” You kissed him, lips lingering against his. “First you weren’t sure whether or not you’d hurt me and now you’re sure you won’t.” You stepped back, keeping your eyes locked with his. “Alright. Go ahead.”

You leaned back against the wall, arms crossed… and waited. 

Frankie closed his eyes and flexed his fingers, and you watched his breathing change - shallow ones lengthening, his head tilting back as he exhaled. It took longer than it had the previous month, and when it happened it was slow, his muscles bulging beneath his skin as his limbs lengthened, a quiet groan reaching your ears when he pushed his shoulders back and crouched down, his hands making contact with the floor, fingers spread wide. 

He still didn’t look at you, and when his head dropped forward, you were able to see his face changing, features shifting as the fur began to sprout from his skin. It was an incredible thing to see - and something that, months earlier, you would have been terrified of. But it’s Frankie. He growled, head shaking back and forth, and you gasped when his ears seemed to slide up at the same time they elongated - which was something that you hadn’t seen previously. 

Fingers and toes turned to claws and paws, and then things sped up. You blinked and he was almost fully a wolf, Frankie in a sitting positon as the final stages of the transformation took place. He finally lifted his head and met your eyes again, and you gave him a sad smile as you nodded. “I love you, Frankie. It’s ok.” 

He whined, breaking eye contact, and when he shook himself, nails scraping across the garage floor, you cleared your throat, calling for the guys to come in. Frankie kept his distance, standing on all fours as they surrounded you. I wonder what this looks like to him. “Whoa, ‘Fish, you’re bigger than I remember.” Benny laughed, but it wasn’t entirely natural. “It’s fuckin’ wild with the tattoo. I never would have noticed that before.” 

Frankie lowered his head to look at his paw and then cocked it to the side, eyeing Benny. We need to hurry. I don’t know how long he’s going to be able to hold this for. “He asked me to use the net, Pope. He said he wants it to be me.” Pope agreed, moving to stand beside you. “Frankie, why don’t you lay down? That way we can start small, and just … lay it on your leg or something. Maybe we won’t need to cover you with it.” 

He moved as you spoke, lowering himself to the ground. Will and Benny remained silent, but Pope stepped forward with you. “I’m just carrying it, ‘Fish. It’s a little heavy.” Frankie nodded, which was somewhat jarring for you, but your steps didn’t falter. “I don’t like this. “ Pope spoke quietly, the two of you kneeling down in front of the wolf. “It’s going to hurt him.” 

“Yeah.” You held your hands out, and Pope handed the folded net over. Shit, it is heavy. “But only for a second. It’s going to hurt Tom a hell of a lot more.” You hoped you were right - hoped that the silver made Tom miserable.

You unfolded a section of the net and then took a deep breath, tuning out Pope’s presence and focusing on Frankie. Reaching out with one hand, you tapped on the paw that didn’t have the tattoo marking, and he extended it a little further. 

“We just need to know what it does. A few seconds. And please try not to howl, Frankie. The neighbors… shit.” Picking up a corner of the net you extended it and took a deep breath. Here we fucking go. 

As soon as it touched him, Frankie’s entire body jerked, and he let out a long, low whine. “You need to put it on his leg. We need to know if he can move.” Pope spoke quietly, trying to keep his voice even. “We need to immobilize Tom if possible.” You reached out with both hands, lifting the metal and then extending it further, apologizing to Frankie before you set it down again. 

He growled then, turning his head away and snapping his jaws - but he didn’t move the leg that you’d covered. “This is good, Frankie. You’re doing great.” Oh, this fucking sucks. There was no smoking or smoldering, and the chain hadn’t left any marks on him - that you could see - but it was definitely having an effect on the wolf. “Ok.” You reached out, carefully lifting the net again and pulling it back. “Enough. You can tell us about it when you turn back, but … no more.” 

It took him a few seconds but he finally moved, lifting his paw and shaking it out as he stood back up, Frankie using his other paw to swipe at the one you’d tested. “”You can change back now, ‘Fish.” Pope gathered the net up and then stood, clearing his throat. “We’ll give you some time.” Frankie whined again, and you watched as the other three left the garage, heading back out and into the yard. 

When you turned your attention back to him, it only took you moments to open your arms to the wolf, Frankie moving immediately to let them encircle him. You turned your head inward, closing your eyes as the wolf rested the bottom of his muzzle on your shoulder. “Come back to me, Francisco.” You stroked one hand along his fur, breathing slowly. “Whatever you need to do.” 

He broke free from your hold, and though it surprised you at first, when his entire body began to shake, you understood why.

The transformation from wolf to man was much different - and much more violent to witness, and as soon as you knew he wasn’t looking at you, you pressed your lips together and covered your mouth with one hand to hide your shocked gasp. 

He seemed to shrink, dark fur turning back into skin, ears moving back into place on the sides of his head, mostly hidden beneath his curls. He whimpered, head whipping back and forth, and even though you didn’t want to, you had to look away as his fingers and toes began to reemerge, the lengthening of the digits turning your stomach. I shouldn’t have asked him to do this. 

The whimper turned into a low groan, and when you looked back, it was Frankie in front of you, crouched on the floor. His whole body trembled, and even though you didn’t know if he’d want it, you crawled forward and put your arms around him again, drawing him in and against your chest. He came willingly, his hands grasping at your shirt, and for almost a minute, neither of you spoke. 

His heart was racing and Frankie was breathing hard, but he calmed under your touch, hold loosening… and it was him that spoke first. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“I’m not.” Kissing the top of his head, you closed your eyes.”Thank you for doing that. Is that the first time you’ve turned on command?”

“Fully, yeah. I’ve …” He inhaled, holding his breath before he released it. “I’ve practiced a couple times, but never gone all the way. Fuck I’m tired.” It didn’t surprise you, and you hoped that him forcing the turn early wouldn’t put him at a disadvantage with Tom. “It wasn’t as hard as I thought, though. I’m sure next time … will be easier.” He sat up, pointing at where his clothes were. “Can you get those for me?”

You stood and did what he asked, Frankie taking them from you and then slowly standing. You turned to give him privacy, and were taken by surprise when he hugged you from behind, holding you tightly. “Frankie…” 

“You’re incredible.” He kissed the side of your neck. “I’m so lucky you found me.” You could have argued that it was the other way around, but chose not to, instead just humming out your response. “We should go back out there with them.” 

When you rejoined the others, you noticed that they’d cleaned up some of the remnants of your meal while you were in the garage, leaving less for you to do later. Someone had also brought out a large bottle of water and a couple packets of electrolyte mix, setting them on the table in front of where Frankie had been sitting. That’s so goddamn thoughtful. 

He mixed the drink before sitting, gulping down half of it in one go and then finishing it in a second. “Thank you.” He looked between his friends, nodding at each one in turn. “The net was a good call, Pope.” 

“I figured.” You and Frankie sat again, Frankie yawning while he got comfortable. “We did all those tests with you after we got back home, and you reacted to the silver, so…” He shrugged. “Did it hurt?”

“It did.” Frankie held out his hand, showing you his unmarked skin. “But it didn’t burn. It just sort of … paralyzed me, I guess? I wanted to move my leg away but couldn’t. Everything else was fine, though.” The others nodded, Benny’s features set into a thoughtful expression. 

“So if we throw that over Tom, he won’t be able to move?” 

“Correct.” He yawned again. “So the plan should be … get him into the clearing. I distract him with an attack, and then we tranq him. Once he’s asleep, put the net on top of him and keep it there til morning, when he turns back into a human and I can question him.”

It was a good plan, a simple one, and that made you doubt it. “And once you have your answers?” Will leaned closer, head tilted to the side. “Then what?”

“I take care of it.” Frankie clasped his hands together. “I know it’s Tom, but … he’s crossed so many goddamn lines.” Benny opened his mouth, but Frankie cut him off. “We’ve all crossed lines, Benjamin. I know it. But he’s killing and hurting people because he can. He deliberately hid this from us and then attacked someone I love and fucking pretended he didn’t. There’s no other choice.”

“What about Molly? And Tessa?” Pope sighed. “Tom’s a piece of shit, but those two …”

“That’s not our problem, man.” Will crossed his arms. “I can’t believe Tom would fuck them over if anything happened to him, though. Especially not with Tessa starting school.” You agreed. But what if they know something? What if they suspect, or he leaves a note, or … 

“How do we protect ourselves from this?” Will frowned. “Pope, you’ll be out of town, I’ll be at the bar. But Benny, you’re going to be in the middle of the woods, right  where -” He paused. “Right where it happens.” He looked at you. “You, too. And ‘Fish. If they start looking, it might not be too hard to piece shit together.” 

“We’ll figure it out.” Frankie stood, swaying on his feet, and stabilized himself with one hand on your shoulder. “He doesn’t get to get away with this, especially not now.” Frankie pointed, gesturing to all three of them, “If you want out, that’s fine, and you’ll never know what happens in that swamp. But I am not fucking risking him coming after anyone else. We can end this. We can protect ourselves and other people. I can. And if that’s the one good fucking thing I can do after this?” He held his scarred arm out, fingers curled into a fist. “It’s enough.” 

“I’m in.” Pope stood, holding his hand out and setting it on top of Frankie’s. You got up, too, and added your hand to the top of the pile. Will was the next to stand, his large hand settling on top of yours and then Benny’s landed, too, all five of you silent as you eyed each other. 

“Go… team?” 

You tried your hand at adding levity to the situation, and to your surprise, Benny laughed out loud, tightening his hand before he pulled it away, everyone else following. “We’re behind you, ‘Fish. All the way.” 

— 

Once they’d left later, you and Frankie climbed into bed early. You checked Tom’s profile again, looking through the posts he’d made from that evening. The first one was accompanied by another of a different group and at what looked like a different location. You scoured it for the man and woman that you thought were responsible for turning him, but they were nowhere to be seen. 

“I can’t believe he went.” Frankie rolled toward you, stretching out. “He’s giving himself an alibi.” 

“We’re all doing the same.” You darkened the screen, setting your phone on the tabletop. “You and Benny taking me to the RV to spend the night so that I can write where it’s quiet while you guys hang out? Will at the bar? Pope and Yova out of town? We’re all trying to cover our asses, Frankie.” 

“We won’t need to.” He closed his eyes. “They’re not going to find Tom.” He sounded certain of his words, and you appreciated that. Even though so much can go wrong. “Tom still thinks he’s untouchable. It’s been that way since we first met him. I’m counting on his arrogance here.” 

You understood where he was coming from, but that didn’t make the thought of something happening to him - or to any of you any easier to consider. “I trust you. And I know you know him better than I do, but it still…” Just tell him the truth. “Knowing this is going to end one way or the other in two days is fucking with me.”

“There’s only one way this is going to end.” He reached over, resting his hand against your cheek. “Him dead and unable to hurt anyone else ever again, and the rest of us getting back to our lives.” 

It was cruel - especially when you considered Molly and Tessa, but the longer you looked at Frankie, the more you realized that the thought that they were better off without Tom wasn’t just a thought … you really believed it. 

“I can’t wait.” Closing the distance between you, you rubbed the tip of your nose along his and then pressed a light kiss to his lips. I hope he’s right. 

— 

Benny drove the three of you to the RV on the night of the full moon, but unlike the previous time, the mood in the car wasn’t light. You were in the back and they were sitting side by side in the front, and though they kept up a steady stream of conversation, there was tension in their tones. 

You’d used a burner phone before you left to fill Alec and Ashley in on what the plan was, promising that you’d update them when you could. And just in case you didn’t end up making it back from the RV, you’d packed all of your family’s research into a single box and addressed it to your aunt, mailing it out while Frankie was at work. You left some of your book research in the rented apartment, along with all of your other belongings. 

It was probably overkill, but you didn’t want to lead anyone anywhere … especially if it would put the others at risk. You had your laptop, though, copies of your information and updates stored on a hidden drive. 

You’d done everything you could to get ready for that night, and you wondered if you were as nervous as you were because you’d never really been involved in a situation like the one you were heading off to. They have. They’ve done so many dangerous things. “Hey.” You were startled out of your thoughts by Frankie’s voice. “You hear what I said?”

“No. What’s up?” He gave you a tight smile. 

“I asked if you wanted to stop for food. We should eat before.” Telling him you didn’t care where you went, you lapsed back into silence and stared out the window. 

You didn’t know how to articulate to him that you were scared because there was a chance that you’d never see Frankie as a man again after he turned at sundown. If I tell him that, then he knows I’m worried he might not finish this. You didn’t want to psych him out. You didn’t want to give him any doubts about what was going to happen, or make him think that you didn’t believe in him. Because I do. I just … nothing’s certain. 

You didn’t speak again until you were parked at the RV, the three of you carrying your things from Benny’s SUV to the front door. Nothing looked out of place - everything seemed in order, including the ground where you and Tom had bled the previous month. Tom and Will both spent time cleaning it up.  

Setting your bag down on the couch, you turned straight into Frankie’s chest, his arms going around you. “It’s going to be alright.” He whispered the words, holding you close. “I promise you.” 

“Yeah.” You turned your head, pressing your cheek against his chest. “It’s going to be fine.”

After you checked out the new supplies Pope had dropped off - the net, a new first aid kit and a restock of silver bullets along with a slew of tranquilizer supplies - you went outside and sat at the picnic table to eat. You had roughly 90 minutes before sunset, but you knew that the time would pass quickly. 

“He posted this morning from the conference floor.” Benny spoke around a mouthful of hamburger after taking a photo of the three of you sitting at the table. “And Pope said that Molly and Yova talked at that spin class like nothing was different than usual.” He scoffed. “I can’t believe we fucking … fuck.” He dropped the last few bites of his dinner and then stood up from the table. “I have some fucking questions for him, too.” 

“We all do.” You ate a fry, glancing over at Frankie before you said anything else. “I just want to ask him what he thought he would gain by attacking me, and how he found the Chaos line.” You gestured toward Frankie. “And why he never thought to tell any of you that he’d found anything in the first place.” 

“I’m staying outside.” Benny paced behind your chair, the sound of the gravel crunching beneath his feet loud in your ears. “I’m going to be right here when this asshole shows up.” 

“Remember you’re not shooting to kill.” Frankie adjusted his hat, looking between you. “You’re trying to get that tranq in him and then distract him so we can get that net over him. We need Tom alive til morning.” Benny nodded and so did you, but Frankie went on. “He’s looking for me. This is between me and him, so -”

“My aim isn’t great.” You let out a long, slow breath. “Frankie, what if I hit you with the dart?” 

“You won’t. I trust you” He smiled. “Pope left us lots of extras, too. So once we’ve got him out and under the net, we’ll have to keep dosing him. The wolf body will try to heal him, and that means absorbing the drug faster than usual.” Benny nodded and sat down again, linking his fingers together on the tabletop. “This is going to work.” 

For a man that was likely only hours away from seriously injuring - and then killing - one of his best friends, Frankie was remarkably calm. You wished that you felt the same. Maybe I need some of that tranquilizer. “Yovanna just posted from the beach.” Frankie held up his phone, smiling. “Look at ‘em.” 

You took the phone and widened your eyes at the picture - the two of them, sand dunes and a sign for a restaurant at their backs. The wind was whipping Yovanna’s long hair, strands of it covering her face - but they looked happy. Alibi secured for them. “I wish I was at the beach.” 

“We’ll go.” Frankie smiled, reaching over to take the phone back. “You an’ me. We’ll ask them where they stayed. Make a weekend of it.” 

“I’d like that.” Covering his hand with yours, you squeezed. I need to tell him. “Frankie can we talk for a minute? Before you start getting ready, I mean. I just …” The look in his eyes changed, going hard for a second, but he agreed. 

You followed him into the RV, so much like you had the first time you’d been there, but that time, he didn’t immediately turn to kiss you when the door shut. Instead, Frankie sat down on the edge of a couch cushion, hands hanging between his knees after he removed his hat. 

“You’re worried about tonight.” You sat next to him, sighing. “What exactly is bothering you?”

“I’m not thrilled about watching you fight someone to the death, Frankie.” You bit your lip, staring down at your feet. “He’s been your friend for how many years? Even if what he’s doing now is  inexcusable, that wasn’t always the case.” He reached over, taking your hand. “I’m worried that I’m going to have to stand there and watch you get hurt because you hesitated for a single second and he didn’t.” 

“I won’t hesitate.” He squeezed, your interlocked fingers flexing with the motion. “You’re not going to have to watch me get hurt.” Frankie said your name and when you looked over at him, you could feel how determined he was, his jaw set and eyes hard. “Tom made his decision the first time he chose to attack someone. He confirmed it when he attacked Alec and Ashley. And he signed his own death warrant the second he fucking touched you.” 

The words made you shiver, but he didn’t waver - or look away. 

“You and I are going home tomorrow morning with Benny. That’s all there is to it.” He finally closed his eyes and inhaled, the man’s mouth lifting briefly at the corners. What’s that about? “It’s going to be ok.” 

“Do you promise?” He nodded, leaning forward and pressing his forehead against yours. “Because I’m kind of looking forward to a hell of a lot more years with you, Francisco. And you need to be around for those.”

“I will be.” He dragged his nose along yours, the hand that you weren’t holding rising up so that it could cradle the back of your head. “Please listen to Benny. Don’t try to jump in and put yourself in danger.” 

“I won’t.” Swallowing, you parted your lips and pressed them to his. “Fuck, I’m scared.” 

“I know.” He kissed you again. “But it’s almost over.” 

He excused himself a minute later to go into the bathroom, and you stood, turning toward the table where all of the supplies were. Might as well start getting ready. You unlocked the lockbox and pulled out the same gun you’d had earlier, checking the bullets before setting it down onto the table. From there, you reached for one of the tranquilizer darts, holding it up and taking a shaky breath. I feel more confident with this than the gun. Slipping a handful of them into the pocket of the hoodie you wore, you picked up the gun again and turned for the door. 

“I’m going outside, Frankie.” You didn’t wait for an answer, stepping through the doorway and out into the fading sunshine. Benny was sitting at the table, phone to his ear. As you approached, you heard him say something about a delayed order, and wondered if he was talking to Will. Another alibi. 

He hung up as you got closer, checking the screen of his phone before he put it down. “Nineteen minutes.” It’s so soon. “As soon as he comes out here, I’ll go in and get what I need. I’m not leaving you alone for a second.” You didn’t think that was necessary, but you nodded in agreement as you sat down, the RV at your back. “You alright?”

“No.” You twisted your fingers together, eyes on the clearing as you answered. “I’m scared for Frankie and for us. I’m worried Tom’s going to pull something out of his ass and figure out how to be two steps ahead. I’m afraid that after Frankie turns into a wolf tonight, I might never get to hear his voice again because -”

“Tom has never been one step ahead of anything on his own in all the years I’ve known him.” Frankie stopped next to you, the blanket wrapped tightly around his shoulders. “He might have a plan, but it won’t be a whole plan because there’s unpredictable shit happening.” He gestured at you and Benny with one finger. “Like you. Like me. Like …” He looked up and at the sky. “Like everything that’s going to happen in the next couple hours.” 

Benny snorted as he headed for the door, leaving you and Frankie alone. I hope he’s still laughing when this is all over.   

Frankie stood in front of you, looking down at where you sat “What?” He stayed quiet, eyeing you, and it only took a few seconds for you to realize that he was staring at you because he wanted a last look. “Francisco?” You rose, taking the few steps necessary to reach him, and then touched his face with your fingertips. “You said it was going to be alright.” 

“I know.” He shook his head slowly. “I just…” Frankie wet his lips and then poked his tongue into his cheek. “You never know.” That was the problem. You knew that Frankie believed he had a good shot at beating Tom and getting answers. You knew that the odds were stacked against Tom, with you and Benny on hand to back Frankie up. But … “If it looks bad… shoot him.” He touched your face, thumb sweeping over your cheekbone. “I know we want answers, but if it means you or Benny get hurt, it’s not worth it.” 

“But -”

“No. No buts. I’m telling you, if things go to shit, kill the bastard.” He locked eyes with you, and you saw actual fear in them. “If you can’t do it, Benny will.” I can shoot him. I will shoot him. “But I want you to listen to me, alright?” He shifted on his feet, straightening his shoulders. “This isn’t gonna be the last time you hear my voice.” Frankie winked at you, and for a few seconds, it was like things were good. “You could never be that lucky.” 

“I’m going to hold you to that.” He nodded, and you reached up to tuck hair behind his ear. “I love you, Francisco.” 

“I love you, too.” The blanket slid down to expose the tops of his shoulders as he adjusted it, and then Frankie’s arms extended so that he could wrap them around you. You leaned into his chest, resting your cheek against it and letting your hands move over his sides and then across his back, feeling the movement of his muscles beneath his skin. 

You knew that your time was winding down, and Frankie would open his mouth to tell you that you needed to step away and let him turn. But we have a minute. We have now. He kissed the top of your head, mumbling that he loved you so goddamn much, and when you squeezed your eyes shut, you had to will yourself not to cry. 

“‘Fish.” You were startled by the sound of Benny’s voice, both of you turning toward it. “Couple minutes.” 

“I know, Benjamin.” You felt it when he spoke - the sound a deep rumble in his chest - as Frankie’s attention focused on his friend. “I can feel it.”  He said your name and you looked up, taking a half step back. “I’m staying in the clearing tonight.” He looked between you and Benny, easing the blanket down so that it only covered his lower body. “I’m not going anywhere unless it’s to chase after him.” 

You nodded, and Benny agreed out loud, but you didn’t look away. Frankie’s muscles began twitching, the movement visible beneath his skin. But wait. You rushed forward, catching him by surprise. “Just be quiet.” He didn’t argue, and when you kissed him, your lips meeting his in a desperate press, he dropped the blanket and crushed you to his body. It was a way for you to say what you couldn’t speak, and you took the opportunity. 

The danger of him beginning to turn as you kissed didn’t matter to you. You licked past his lips and into his mouth, and Frankie’s fingers dug into your hips, holding you in place. I love you so much. You didn’t care that Benny was only a few feet away, or that it would likely be awkward when you and Frankie broke apart. He’ll understand. Stroking his hair, you inhaled through your nose as your mouths stayed busy, trying to memorize the taste of him. Just in case. 

But when Frankie pushed you away roughly, and you stumbled back a few steps, you knew that time was up. “Love… you.” He spoke through gritted teeth, his fingers balled into fists - and you only got a glimpse of his face before he doubled over, shoulders slumping. You didn’t want to, but you stepped back further, only stopping when you felt Benny’s hand on your arm… and you watched Frankie. 

It happened faster than you thought it would, his body’s shape and size changing as he dropped to his knees and then to all fours. He didn’t try to stay quiet, either, his groans and grunts loud, as was his breathing, the sound almost harsh. He yelped, and it made you flinch, briefly closing your eyes. Oh, Frankie. 

That sound turned into a howl, long and low, and when you reopened your eyes, there was a wolf in front of you, his head hung low and his chest expanding rapidly as he tried to catch his breath. “Hey, Francisco.” The smile you gave him was genuine, and in response, Frankie tapped his paws against the ground before straightening up and then heading for you. 

He stopped just in front of where you stood and then sat, looking up. “You smell anything, ‘Fish?” Benny leaned forward, eyes on Frankie. “Any sign of him?” It seemed unlikely that Tom would have been able to get so close so quickly without Frankie noticing, but Benny’s question made sense. Frankie’s head moved back and forth and when he tipped his head further back, nostrils flaring as he scented the wind, you looked away and out at the gathering darkness in the clearing. 

He stood, nudging your leg with his nose before turning and trotting away. You and Benny watched as he circled the perimeter, pausing a few times briefly but never stopping. “Him bein’ calm is a relief.” Benny got comfortable in the chair, and you sat down too, crossing your arms. “He really loves you.” 

“I really love him.” You knew that Frankie could hear you both, but figured that was also a good thing. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not worried.” 

“Would be stupid not to be.” He reached over, settling a hand on your knee. “But ‘Fish has  … we all have been through a lot of shit that’s at least as dangerous as this.” He smiled, reaching up to adjust his backwards ballcap with his free hand. “And you’re here now, so we’re even more ready to deal with it.” You had to laugh at that, Benny’s well-timed joke breaking some of the tension you felt. 

“Thank you, Benny.” Laying your hand on top of his, you squeezed. “I needed that.” Both of you went quiet as Frankie made his way back and then plopped down in front of you, crossing his front paws and resting his snout on the ground. “Now … we wait.”

---

[zegrasdrysdale]

[ let it snow ] t. zegras

day two of malia's christmas fic marathon

paring : Trevor Zegras x fem!reader

summary : (Y/N) braves it through the snow to get some coffee since her machine in her apartment is broken. Then everything shuts down and she's suddenly stuck inside the coffee shop with two employees and one customer that isn't bad company.

warning(s) : none :)

author's note : if this is a stupid plot then pls tell me. be brutally honest bc i'm not even sure if this is an okay plot or not

༺═──────────────═༻

She was praying the entire time she walked half a mile to the only open coffee shop. She prayed that it would still be open when she got there.

The snowstorm kept her at her apartment with her broken coffee machine. This is the only shop she could find within a mile that was open since she couldn't drive in the snow. She needed her coffee so she can get some work done while she's stuck at home with a rare day off from work.

The wind and snow whip through her hair that is exposed to the harsh weather. She's sure that her nose might fall off despite being tucked under a scarf because of how cold it is in New York at the moment. Her body is bundled up in multiple hoodies and jackets and she has on a pair of leggings under the sweats she's wearing under all of the layers. Even through the snow boots she has on, her toes are rock solid.

She loves living in Bedford, but she hates the cold and the snow. She wishes she moved to California or something when she graduated in the spring.

When the door opens, she's sighs with relief. There is only one other person in the dining area along with two employees behind the counter. She begins to defrost as she walks to the counter.

"What can I get for you?" the barista asks her as she brushes the snow out of her hair.

"Can I can a mocha latte with almond milk and light sugar in the biggest size you have?" she questions.

The barista nods and as (Y/N) pulls out her debit card, she says, "It's on the house since you walked from who knows where in this storm. Don't worry about it."

She thanks the barista and waits for her drink by the pick up counter.

While she waits, she realizes that the guy sitting at one of the tables is looking at her. (Y/N) tries not to stare back but she can't help but notice how cute he is. His brown hair is wild but she can tell it has some fluff to it. His greenish-blue eyes are looking at her softly and he has a small smile on his lips. He has on a hoodie that has "Ducks Hockey" written on the front of it with an "11" on his chest.

"I hope you didn't actually walk very far to get here," he comments as (Y/N) is handed her drink. "The weather isn't the best. It's supposed to get worse before it gets better too."

She shrugs and sits at a different table so she can sip her warm cup of coffee. "Only about a half a mile," she tells him. "How far did you walk to get here?"

"Took an Uber from the other side of town so I'm stuck here," he says. "I'll be here for a while since Uber isn't sending out drivers in the snow and I have nowhere else to go around here."

(Y/N) is shocked by that. "Why would you take an Uber from the other side of town in this?" she asks. "That's risky. You didn't think that you might get stuck here?"

He shrugs and turns in his seat so he can talk to her. "I'm only in town for a few days to visit my family for Christmas," the nameless guy tells her. "This is my favorite coffee shop and I wanted to grab some since I don't live here most of the year."

A phone rings somewhere in the shop and (Y/N) sips her coffee. She basks in how warm it is while she looks outside at the storm that has seemingly gotten worse since she walked through the door.

As she's worrying about she's going to be getting home, one of the baristas comes out from the back room.

“I hate to tell you both this but the roads have been officially shut down,” the barista says. “It’s been recommended that everyone stays off the road until the storm passes and they can be plowed. That means you’re both stuck here until further notice. Fortunately our boss told us that if you guys want or need anything to eat or drink, it’s on us.”

Suddenly, she’s grateful she doesn’t have to brave the storm back to her apartment. She’s also getting really warm between the air and the drink.

(Y/N) sheds some layers until she’s in her t-shirt and leggings. She ties her hair up into a messy bun on top of her head and sips her lukewarm latte.

“Since we’re going to be here for a while,” the cute stranger begins to say. “I’m Trevor.”

“(Y/N),” she replies. “You play hockey?” Trevor raises his eyebrows in question. She nods at his hoodie. “ The ‘Ducks hockey’ gave it away. What’s Ducks hockey?”

Trevor has a small smile on his face. "It's for the Anaheim Ducks," he replies. "I play in the NHL."

Her eyes widen. She isn't that much of a hockey fan but she knows what the NHL is. That is probably most professional level of hockey there is. She's pretty sure about that.

"Well I'm honored to be in the presence of a professional hockey player," she says. "I've watched a few games but I'm not really a NHL watcher. I'm more of a college hockey watcher. I just graduated from Boston University and I went to a lot of the home games because my friend at the time was dating one of the players."

He almost spits out his coffee. "I played hockey at Boston University for a season," he tells her. "I played one season then went to the NHL. That's crazy that you just graduated from where. Small world."

A realization hits her. She heard all about a Trevor that used to play for BU then he went to NHL. "Zegras," she blurts out. "You're Trevor Zegras. You're like a legend at Boston University. The hockey guys still sometimes talk about you."

"I put up good number but not good enough to be a legend there," he laughs. "Glad to know they still talk about me there."

She smiles. All she heard while in school was how talented Trevor was on the ice and what a player he was off the ice. She figures it's been long enough where he's changed and doesn't sleep around anymore.

Hours pass by and the storm hasn't lightened up. It's gotten worse. A lot worse. It doesn't seem like it's going to get any better.

The baristas, whose names are Lily and Dani, stick to the back unless (Y/N) or Trevor need something. (Y/N) and Trevor sit at the tables and build towers with cups in the main dining area. They talk and get to know each other since they don't have anything better to do.

They find themselves sitting on the floor against the bar and they watch the storm brew outside. It has started to build up against the glass door and the windows. They can't see more than like two feet outside the glass because of how heavy the snow is falling.

"I hate the snow," (Y/N) blurts out. "I always have but Bedford is the only place I've ever lived and I didn't want to leave."

Trevor looks over at her. "Why didn't you want to leave?"

"I've lived here my whole life," she tells him as she looks over at him. "I live in the same apartment that my parents lived in before they died. They left it to me and I can't bear to part with it. This town is my home and I don't think I could ever leave."

He remains silent for a second before asking, "So if your boyfriend said he wanted to move to Florida or something, you wouldn't go?"

An amused smile forms on her face and she looks at the snow. “I’d need a boyfriend for that to happen,” she tells him. She decides to play alone to what he is doing “Does your girlfriend like living in California?”

“Wouldn’t know,” he replies. “Don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Does hockey take up a lot of your time?”

“For most of the year, yeah,” he sighs. “I’ve had casual flings that don’t get past that phase because I’m never around. I’ve been stuck in the talking phase for weeks because I’m constantly on the road or in the rink. I’d like to settle down one day with someone but I need to meet someone that understands that hockey is what I love to do. She’ll just have to know that sometimes I’ll need to be away for a while to do what I love.”

A frown forms on (Y/N)’s face. “I’m sorry that you haven’t been able to find anyone that understands you love playing hockey,” she says to him. “I’ve only known you for a few hours but you seem like a genuinely nice guy. You’re also not too hard on the eyes.”

Trevor laughs and she bumps his knee with hers. He does the same to her. “I’ll find someone some day,” he breaks out when he stops laughing. He pauses for a beat. “Maybe I have. I don’t know.”

She looks over at him and the temperature in the room changes. It gets stuffy with unfamiliar tension that is so thick, it could be cut with a knife.

“What about you?”

“What about me?” a confused (Y/N) questions.

“Why haven’t you settled down with anyone?”

A long sigh passes her lips.

Her last boyfriend was incredibly immature. He would rather go get drunk at a party than spend time with her, and eventually he got kicked out of school since his grades were so low and he was drunk all the time. Then he got arrested for a DUI after he turned 21 and that was the end of that.

“I wanted to focus on my education,” she tells Trevor. “Not to mention my last boyfriend would rather get drunk then spend time with me so I decided to stay single for the moment. Nothing as intense as to why you haven’t settled down.”

Trevor smiles. “Seems like your ex missed out,” he tells her. “You’re really nice and you listen. Not to mention that you’re insanely beautiful and any guy would be lucky to have you.”

She feels her face get hot at the compliment.

Before either of them say say something, Dani comes out of the back room. “Good news!” she exclaims. “The roads are opening back up. The storm has gotten light enough to the point where it’s safe to travel again so you’re both welcome to leave whenever you’d like.”

Trevor stands up then helps (Y/N) up. Her eyes are on the window and she sees that the snow has lightened up and the wind has calmed down after nearly five hours.

“Thank you for letting us ride out the storm here,” Trevor says to Dani, and to Lily who has also emerged from the back. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out two fifty dollar bills. “For both of you.”

They thank Trevor and begin to clean up. (Y/N) pulls her layers back on and Trevor puts his coat on.

She stares outside before she sees a car pass by, then a second car.

“Can I walk you home?” Trevor asks behind her. She turns around with raised eyebrows. “I just want to make sure you get home safely. It’s slippery out there.”

A laugh passes her lips at Trevor’s failed attempt to lie to her about why he wants to walk her home. “Yeah,” she replies. “It’s only a half a mile from here in three feet of snow. Sure you can handle that, Mr. I-Live-In-California-Now?”

“I grew up in Bedford,” Trevor replies. “I’m sure I can handle that.”

The two of them push their way outside. The cold air slaps (Y/N) in the face when she follows Trevor out the door. She gives a final wave to Dani and Lily before she leads Trevor down the street.

She doesn’t know how many feet of snow has fallen, but she’s nearly up to her knees in it at different points as she walks home. Trevor is right behind her, and he stops her from tripping over into the snow multiple times during their walk.

A very long half hour later and she’s finally in front of her apartment door. After she unlocks it, she looks up at Trevor.

“Well, thank you for walking me home,” she says. There is a smile on his face. His face is red from how cold it is outside and he looks like Rudolph with his red nose.

She reaches up and brushes some snowflakes from his hair. A smile grows on his lips and suddenly, she wants to get up on her tiptoes and kiss him. “It was nice to meet you and spend time with you, (Y/N),” he says.

“Will I see you again, Trevor?”

“I know where you like to go for coffee,” he replies. “I also know where you live now so I can stop by every time I’m in town while I’m in season or when I’m home for the summer.” She laughs. “You’re never getting rid of me now.”

(Y/N) shakes the snowflakes off Trevor’s jacket and says, “If anyone is going to be a pain in my ass, I think I’d want it to be a very cute professional hockey player from California that I only talked to because we got stuck at a coffee shop.”

Trevor grins and pushes a wet piece of hair behind her ear. His hand is freezing but she leans into his touch.

A moment of silence is followed by Trevor taking a deep breath and a small step toward her. She only is able to glance up at him before he leans down and captures her lips in a cold, deep kiss.

She sharply inhales from the surprise kiss, but she does kiss him back. Trevor grabs her chin between his pointer finger and thumb so she doesn’t go anywhere.

Not that she would.

Her hands slide to Trevor’s waist and she takes a step toward him to get as close to him as she can with all the layers they have between them. Trevor’s hand eventually slides to the back of her neck, and she shivers.

(Y/N) pulls back and asks, “Would you like to come in and get warmed up?”

“Absolutely.”

She thinks she might’ve found her new favorite coffee shop after today.

༺═──────────────═༻

MAIN MASTERLIST

have a request ? check out the guidelines first !

wanna be added to the tag list ? fill out this form !

tag list : @fanboysfangirl @dancerbailey3 @dasiysthings

[a-friend-of-the-mushrooms]

Curious what everyone's shipping opinions are for the main party 'cause I got some thoughts!

There are about four potential parings I'm especially fond of.

Obs the first is Mortibin, of which I am completely insane about.

It's textbook opposites attract with the eloquent lying scumbag and the rambling honest sweetheart. Sure, that might make it the "boring" option, but ever since their accidental psychic link, I have been incapable of imagining these two apart.

Mort's been out here locking away his true self for who knows how long and avoiding all vulnerability to keep from being hurt again. Then in comes Grindy, without a single malicious bone in their body, not understanding why someone would hide so much of themselves but willing to carry the burden of secrecy if it helps their friend feel safe and loved. And the idea of someone loving who he really is without expecting anything in return is so foreign to Mort that he assumes it's just another threat to the life he's trying to build. So he tries to push them away with his usual empty threats but they just brush them off because being close to Mort is worth the risk. It's been a slow burn but I think he's realizing that Grindy is worth the risk too. ❤️

Mort would never say it out loud, but you can tell he appreciates Grindy in his own way. They might not be the best speaker, but they are very intelligent when it comes to magic and planning their next move, so I think he likes having an equal he can scheme with. Now Mort is slowly learning to be more vulnerable, and Grindy is getting better at lying to protect their friends. God I love the combo of "I can fix him" and "I can make them worse." :)

Then there's Mortimer and Sigmar. (Mortimar?)

I like this one too! Can't resist the classic Angel X Devil parring, and they have big "love fueled by spite" energy. Like, you got two guys who are both incredibly fed up with the world's bs but coping in opposite ways. And they both think the other is a complete idiot for how they handle things, either through Mort being needlessly dickish or Sig's recklessness. Yet they provide enough of what the other lacks that they can find mutual respect and enjoy each other's company.

That said, I imagine their relationship would be more sexual than romantic. Between Sig's betrothal trauma and Mort's general distrust of love, it would take a long time for them to be comfortable romancing each other. They strike me more as a couple that would occasionally get a little drunk, spend the night sloppily making out, and then wake up the next day pretending that there's nothing between them. They're a mess and I love them. ❤️

And then there's the newly blossoming Sigmar and Dabarella. (Sigmarella? Dabamar?)

These two have always had such good chemistry, but this newest season especially highlights how similar they are. Both have been disowned for not being what they were supposed to be. Both like the thrill of fighting but hate hurting people who don't deserve it. Both think the other is the coolest, most badass person they've ever met!

And god I've loved watching Sig transition from just tolerating Dab's affection to be being so aggressively ride-or-die and protective. He found one of the only people who openly appreciates his skills, and now he will take the bullet for her without the slightest hesitation. I wanna watch these two work out together and see how much they hype each other up!

With Amy not returning for season 5 it's uncertain how Dabs will fit into the story. But no matter what happens, I hope these two will always get to be together, even if it's just off screen. ❤️

Finally, it's one of the ships I've never seen people discuss, but since the beginning of the series I've been very fond of Grinderbella.

The sweethearts! The darlings! The ingly binglies! From season 1 onward these two have constantly been so cozy with each other. The signs first appeared when Dabs chose to cuddle with Grindy in the inn. Then you get Grindy always talking about how Dabs is "one of the sweetest people [they] have ever met" and they always have this soft, adoring tone when they compliment her. Like in S3E8:

Dabs: "I feel like a little princess!"

Grindy: "Our princess!"

It's subtle, but it makes me go crazy every time. And as stressful as Sidequest 2 was, it was such a treat for Grinderbella shippers. They shared the burden of the curse™ and were able to comfort each other through all the mental anguish. These two are just so soft I can't take it! ❤️

That said, if they did end up getting together, I think it would be a mainly romantic relationship. Neither of them seem to have much sex drive, so without someone like Mort or Sig to pull them in that direction they would probably be content with just emotional intimacy. I like to imagine them doing the dishes after the nightclub closes and then going off to Dab's room to cuddle before bed. :3

Bonus Round!

If I could have my way, I'd say that the whole party would be involved in an elaborate polyamory situation.

Adventure is Poly!

I like to think of it as all four of my ships existing at once, with the added benefits of some non-conventional love in between. Like, I can't really see Grinderbin and Sigmar being romantically or sexually involved, but by this point the gang are all such good friends that there could easily be some qpr going on.

Something like this maybe? The lines could fluctuate of course, but regardless of what you label it this party has been built on love of all kinds. ❤️

Anyway, sorry for the essay no one asked for, but these four keep tumbling around my brain, and this was the only way I could get them out. :')

[hms-no-fun]

What movie would you suggest to someone who just hasn't seen that many movies?

oh jeez, only one? that's tough...

my girlfriend just came up behind me, read this post, and said "boss baby." i don't know if i agree with her sentiment but i'm including it for posterity.

thing is, if it was just the two of us in a room and you asked me this question, i'd respond by asking you more questions. what are some movies you have seen? what have you liked, what haven't you liked? what are your interests? what kinds of experiences do you crave? how do you feel about modern art? are you a pervert? can you handle blood? what's a feeling you're nostalgic for? you know, normal person questions. the more straightforward approach would be like, what are your favorite genres? but i think that's a lot less useful than folks have been led to believe because like, what if your response is "scifi?" what kind of science fiction are we talking about here? could be 70s hard scifi, could be 2000s action-oriented scifi, could run the gamut from trek to wars etc etc. i think it's more fun to try to find something personal you can relate a film to in an abstract sense.

but idk, maybe that's too cerebral! the mood i'm in right now, i might say the 2007 tony gilroy film Michael Clayton. it's a sort of corporate espionage thriller about a monsanto-esque agrotech company trying to hide evidence of the health risks caused by its chemicals. it is also a lovecraftian horror about monstrous amorphous entities of capital treating human beings as disposable. it's one of my favorite movies ever.

maybe the question is, what kind of experience are you looking to have?

if you're looking to have a good time, why not shane black's The Nice Guys? great buddy cop comedy with ryan gosling and russell crowe set in 70s LA about a murdered porn star's potential connection with a corrupt automotive industry advocate in government. hilarious script, it just gets funnier every time you watch it. watch this brief scene and if it makes you laugh you'll love this flick.

if you're looking to have a bad time, fuck it, jump in the deep end, watch david lynch's Mulholland Drive. it's about an amnesiac who survived a car crash and a recent transplant to LA trying to figure out what happened to her that she lost her memory, and then some other stuff happens. it's brilliant and you may very well not get it and that's okay. not getting david lynch the first time you watch one of his movies is a rite of passage. the joy of his cinema is that it grows as you grow, and it always has something new to say when you come back to it. but it also may very well not be your thing, and that's cool too! at least you learned something about yourself

if you just want a classic kinda action movie, you could do a lot worse than The Taking of Pelham 123, a 70s heist film about a group of guys hijacking a subway car in NYC. it is the most new york movie ever made, just a bunch of sweaty middle aged dudes at work annoyed that they have to deal with this hostage situation AND run a subway at the same time. there's some guys who are racist in it but it is not a racist film.

want to get away from america into the world of pretentious art movies? check out krzysztof kieslowski's Three Colors: Blue, an anti-tragedy about a woman who loses her entire family in a car crash and decides to isolate from reality until she dies, but who cannot help but to be already living in a society where other human beings exist and notice her and want to help her. it's one of my favorite movies, it is profoundly beautiful and moving and will hit especially hard if you've ever felt loss but still had to keep on living anyway.

i could go on, but i gotta eat dinner. i think what i'd recommend most is that you pick a movie to watch, watch it, and then pick another movie to watch, and then another, and then keep doing that. the easiest way to watch more movies is to watch more movies, and part of the fun is abandoning trepidation and just picking something out of the blue to give a shot. fuck it, why not? there are no wrong answers.

[starlightmoon96]

Yandere IDW Rodimus Prime x (INK/goth/ curvy human reader) Pt.3

( delusional love, obsession, stalking and still stubborn reader being there Apothisexual and proud of it and Rodimus being in denial of it)

Now you believed your cousin's words when she had told that Rodimus had real feelings for you when he had confessed to you, you honestly didn't know how to give a proper response to him. When you had returned to your room you told your cousin what had happened and she was just as surprised as you where....

"What am I gonna do now C/N? I'm worried I might make things worse if I talk directly to the poor bastered?" You said that being worried and your cousin answered you

"This is indeed tough, I knew he had a thing for ya like some of the other bots that want to get close. But I didn't think he would actually confess real love, that's a first. I'm not sure either?" Her saying that you collected your thoughts before speaking

"I know one thing for certain, no one else is to know about THIS little problem. The last thing I want is the encouragement, I've been threw situations similar to this but an alien/robot is will be brand new for me." Your cousin agreed with you in not mentioning Rodimus's confession to anyone, though they weren't certain if Rodimus would say something.

The next day everything seemed 'normal' you had taken a well deserved vacation and had explained to your boss that you where planning on moving and needed some time in the moving process and had given you a week off, during your little time off from packing the remaining things you had. You where reading Dr. Mutter's Marvels while listening to Ice Nine Kill's silver scream 2 album, there was an area on the base that you found peaceful for reading some of your dark novels.

"Oh Y/N didn't expect to see you here?" You where a little startled hearing Jazz's voice and you paused your music on your phone before turning your head to him with a cringe look on your face

"Jazz I thought I told you to stay away from me." When you said that Jazz got close to you and crouched to your level that made you take a feet steps back from him

"Your the only human here that has problem with me. Come on what's the matter?" You couldn't help but covering your noise and still having the same cringe look of disguise on your face

"My issue with YOU is that your reek, I'm ace, I can't stand the smell of sex. Why do you think I avoid a you and several others here?" Jazz was taken a back by those words, he didn't expect to hear something that he had never heard spoken to him before.

"Ace? What's that?" Where his words and you signed seeing no point in hiding it

"I'm Apothisexual, it means I'm repulsed by sex and abstain from it....completely and I'm probably the only one here on this base C/N is similar to me but not the same and if you want me tolerating your presents, you need to lay off..literary." While you where talking you picked up your book and removed your other hand off her nose now having an annoyed expression on your face

"Now if you don't mind I'd like to continue my book in peace." With that said you had left, though neither of you where aware that there was another nearby. Rodimus had overheard that conversation as he hid, he originally wanted to talk to you but he now knew what kind of ace you where officially. Hearing that you abstain from sex wasn't what he was expecting with someone of your beautiful dark looks, either way he was happy he found out from your own words. You where in the mode for more pleasant company and one bot fit that description to you.

"Thanks again for letting me read in here, I'd read in my own but I wanted a little change." The person that you spoke to was Optimus Prime, he was one of the few bots that you where comfortable being around and it was one of the reason why some of the women on the ship where jealous of you minus your cousin. Optimus enjoyed your company since you where well reed and different from most of the humans on the ship, you where the first that he could relate too and having a understanding of literature. As for you Optimus Prime was the only bot on the ship that you felt the most comfortable with and honestly his personality was your type, mature, brave, intelligent and compassionate. If he wasn't an alien/robot you would be all over him in a heart beat, but you where alright with just being in the friend zone and hoped that you would find a guy just like in your dating future.

"What book are you readying this time Y/N?" Optimus said that being curious about what you where readying, you paused in your reading and answered him

"Dr, Mutters Marvels, it's the documents and writing about Victorian medicine and plastic surgery. It's pretty dark stuff and fascinating compared to today during the Victorian era plaster surgery was used in helping burn victims, now these days when you hear plastic surgery you where someone just got either a boob job or those ugly fillers." Just before Optimus was going to reply to your comment you had noticed some type of movement outside his door and you set your book down and pointed at his door motioning him to look who was there without speaking, to your surprise when Optimus opened the entrance Rodimus had fell forward into the room.

"Rodimus? What are you doing?" Optimus questioned that being curious about his actions and you looked at Rodimus confused as he stood back up on his feet

"Was he eavesdropping and for how long?" You questioned that to yourself in your thoughts as Rodimus collected himself and nervously leaving the room you noticed that he wasn't expecting to see Optimus with you, that was clear to you the way Rodimus looked at him commander.

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 23 (The Heat of Summer)

A sweltering heatwave hit Brindleton Bay in Heather’s third trimester, and to escape the haze inland she spent her days off indoors or on the coast. Uninvited, Everett visited again with his dog, JJ. (And then this Watcher had had enough!) Heather guiltily enjoyed his company at the seashore knowing Spencer and Greyson were back in Oasis Springs without him.

"I didn't know you picked up the guitar," said Heather, as he strummed a few bars in the sunshine.

Everett grinned. "It helps get Greyson to sleep, and the parishioners like it."

"Won't Greyson and Spencer be missing you? Why did you come back here?"

He matched her guilt through his pale green eyes. "I wanted to make sure you were okay out here by yourself."

"Did you come back because Malcolm and I aren't together anymore?"

He waffled. "Maybe. But it might be worse than that. I think I resent Spencer because she can't have more kids. I know it's not her fault, and I feel horrible, but I can't stop thinking about wanting more."

"I've felt a lot of ways about you in my life, Everett, but the one thing I never wanted to be was a replacement for Spencer. I don't need that. We don't need that. For the foreseeable future, at least, the only man I want to make significant time for is my son."

With a nod, Everett put down his guitar. "We're friends. Just friends."

The words brought Heather unexpected comfort, like a cool blanket in the sweltering heat. So this is what it felt like not to wish for a future with Everett Pancakes. "I'm glad we can finally say it."

For the rest of Everett's stay, Heather explored new corners of her adopted hometown with her oldest friend in the world. His visit felt a bit like a fever dream, disconnected from the reality of who they really were.

But maybe that was just the heat.

"What am I going to say to Spencer when I get back?" he wondered as they watched the sunset over the beach at Cavalier Cove. They leaned with their backs against the tortoise sand sculpture they'd built, and Everett dragged his fingers through the sand.

"I don't know what you should say," Heather said. "You know the Watcher's Holy Book better than me, but I think They would hope you cherished the gifts you've been given."

"Is that your plan for single motherhood?"

She shrugged. "I guess so, yeah."

"You're more ready than me and Spencer before we had Greyson."

"Even though my son's crib is in the living room?"

When Everett returned to Oasis Springs, he found Spencer trying to soothe their fussy son to sleep in his crib. "Hey, I'm home," he announced, but she turned to look at him with an icy stare. He anxiously moved to sit on the bed.

"I feel for Heather's predicament, but you need to tell me right now if your visits are anything more than platonic."

Everett recalled his earlier conversation with Heather. "Whatever feelings we once had aren't there now," he said honestly. "But Heather and I did talk about...about us."

"You and me? You could tell her something about your relationship with me that I don't even know?" Spencer felt her heartrate quicken.

Everett frowned. "I think you do know...I want more kids. I know you think Greyson is more than enough. I love you so much, but I'm scared, Spence. I'm afraid Greyson will never be enough for me, and I know you can't fix it."

Spencer broke down. "I know what I said about Greyson, and I stand by it. He's amazing - why wouldn't he be enough?"

"It's not that!"

She cut him off. "I don't think we should make any decisions about anything right now, but I've done some research on surrogacy and adoption, and I'm open to the possibility of talking about our options."

They both needed time to really think about the idea, but Everett appreciated that his wife was hoping to meet him in somewhere in the middle. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 1 Summary | Gen 1 Start

[meanbossart]

I love Izzy so much, I feel for him tremendously.

Can you tell us something about his future relationship, whatever it might be, with Grodderick? Or is it under wraps for spoilers? 👀

Sure! The details of their relationship are never relevant to the plot, it's more of a background thing that changes some very minor character interactions in ways I doubt one can predict by simply learning about it - I'll still leave it under a cut for anyone who wants to avoid it. I'll also skip certain story beats which allow their relationship to happen in the first place that are most definitely spoilers, and only talk about the actual dynamic between them and post-ANE events, so if details feel amiss, that's because they are.

So it's probably obvious that they're meant to develop a romantic relationship lol this happens after Grodderick gets somewhat "stuck" with Izzy around through certain circumstances. Izzantar, in his predicament, happens to be far more comfortable around him than anyone else because of his predisposition to feel safe around "slave" races. Now, that's obviously not a great start to any relationship, romantic or otherwise lol but it is what it is.

They grow a little closer through Grodderick's endless patience and sincere curiosity about a culture he isn't familiar with. Izzantar, despite his experiences, considers the underdark his home, he can only properly conceptualize of surface customs by comparing them to his own culture, and Grodderick is the only one willing to hear it without judgement - with the eventual wisecrack or pushback. But the way he does it is one Izzantar comfortable with.

Likewise Izzantar would probably defy Grod's own generalized negativity around the orc-ish side of his culture (and frankly be positively shocked it has any merit at all). It's a funny little game of "no, YOU have internalized hate" they keep playing between themselves by accident.

Another major point here is that Grodderick is a) the only person who sees Izzantar as an adult and b) someone who immediately recognizes him as someone with an anxiety disorder. With time he would help Izzy to calm the fuck down and not always assume the worse out of people. His company also allows Izzantar to feel more at ease in public settings in the surface as a drow, and Izzy's brazen company and completely unfiltered perspective is a breath of fresh air to Grodderick. He thinks he's funny, he recognizes and participates in his dry humor, he doesn't offend easy, and he's the furthest thing from a drow. This makes him an apt friend choice and later a romantic interest. Being hot and having cool tats helps LOL

Also they both like to partake in a little devil🌿 which is likely how their first meaningful interaction ever happens (Izzantar sees him smoking and is like "oh boy I could really fucking use some of that right now")

They probably starting fucking kind of casually. It's entirely on Izzantar to pursue him since Grodderick isn't interested in feeding a drow's ego, which is a funny interaction of its own where Izzantar just blows up frustrated that he won't make the first move, since he's used to being a very passive partner. Something along the lines of "WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO FUCK ME" probably comes out his mouth verbatim LOL they get over this non-misunderstanding quickly and Izzantar is just happy to have sex in a way that's completely the opposite of what's expected of him in the Underdark as a popular breeder. Obviously he also finds Grodderick profoundly attractive both for his confidence, smarts, appearance, and frankly his imposing presence because he's not immune to a little bad-boy charm.

I think they catch feelings around the same time as one another, and proceed to get on a long-term relationship.

Izzantar (this is post ANE and never mentioned) eventually sets shop somewhere as a jeweler. He gets a lot of business based on the fact that he's a drow and knowingly plays up the part of someone who's mystically more knowledgeable and skilled about precious stones and minerals than most because of his race (on top of his genuine talent). His bad attitude is also hysterically seen as charming drow bedside-manner and indicative of the quality of his work to wealthy clients.

He lets his hair grow out and for semi-plot-related-reasons starts passing as a female drow (also, he just likes it) Grodderick doesn't care either way. At that point they're living together and get a cat that Izzantar names Angkacha. To his despair, Grodderick nickanames it Chacha and it sticks. Izzy wants the cat to be a vicious killing machine but whenever he casts animal speak on it the cat's just like OOOO MAMA ME LOVE MAMA and he hates it (but not really, he would kill for this cat)

aaaand here's some old doodles of him from that point of his life! The last two have been uh cropped for uh reasons

[gyll-yee-haw]

heyyy! missed you a lot omg 😭😭😭💖 do you write for all jake characters? i was thinking of something like, detective loki has a very sensible and sweet girlfriend and she loses a pet and he comforts her while she's going through it. a very sad but also really soft and cute because of how much he takes care of her

Hii, angel!! I missed you too!! 🥺❤

I think the only characters I wouldn't write for would be Jack Twist (cause I only write female readers), like bubble boy lol, and Jeff Bauman (cause he's a real person, I think it would be weird). But except from those, I believe I would write for all! And I ADORED your request because Detective Loki is my absolute favorite character ever, the actual love of my life, think about him all the time <3

Warnings: the absolute cutest thing I ever wrote, hurt/comfort, pet death, sad as heck (my cat was making biscuits on my belly as I wrote it, I almost cried), a few swear words, buuut with tons and tons of fluff <3

Like 2k words

I named the dog Nugget because nothing makes me happier than pets with food names 😭

_____

Knowing that day would come couldn't make it any easier. You just lost your childhood best friend. Someone who has always been there and... the fact he won't be anymore is almost unbelievable.

David had been by your side through the whole process. When Nugget started getting sick, he rushed him to the vet countless times. On his last days, David would always come home with a million treats and pillows, and blankies, everything to make your baby as comfortable and happy as possible. When you and David started dating, Nugget was part of the package. He had never had a dog before, but once you moved in, bringing yours along, he went full dog dad mode.

"No, don't worry, you should get some rest..." he would say, as an excuse to be the one to take Nugget on a walk or play with him.

And it really went both ways, Nugget was absolutely IN LOVE with David. He would wait for David to come home for hours by the door, and never leave his side when he does. You were jealous at first, but it was really adorable... having a dog really helped Dave with his stress.

But now... now the house felt so empty. Even though David was extremely heartbroken, he knew he had to stay strong for you.

He helped you bury Nugget on a special place with all the things he loved, and have a little funeral, where he made sure to say a few words, cause he knew you couldn't.

The day after the funeral, you woke up after noon, and could barely open your eyes from crying all night. You heard noises coming from the kitchen. Weird... David should be at work.

You walked downstairs to check. You found him cursing at something in the oven.

"Dave?" You called softly.

"Love?" He answered, pretending he had everything under control. "Hi, did you... did you get some sleep?"

"I did. Shouldn't you be at work?" You asked confusingly.

"I... yeah, it's just..." He sighed. "I didn't want to leave you here alone, I took the day off."

"You took the day off?" Your eyes widened. "David, you worked on Christmas. And on Thanksgiving. And on your birthday. And..."

"I know." He interrupted. "I'm sorry, baby... I know I work too much. But I thought... you might need some company."

His words seemed to hit both of you at the same time. It was always Nugget who kept you company during David's countless working hours. Now everything would be so much worse... not only you would be without David, you would be completely alone...

Your eyes filled with tears. He rushed to your side.

"Hey hey hey..." he held you tightly. "It's okay, baby, you won't be alone, okay? We'll figure it out."

You allowed him to hold you, closing your eyes and trying to just feel that moment. You needed to cry, you needed to hurt, and he knew that. It's part of the process and he would be right there until you were strong enough to carry on. As he held you, you could feel his warm embrace. His heart beating softly as he breathed slowly. His soft belly and strong arms. The smell of... what was that smell?

"Dave?" You wiped your tears and looked at him. "There's something... burning?"

"Oh, FUCK!" He rushed back to the oven, quickly turning it off.

"What's going on?" You followed him.

"I was... I was trying to bake a cake. Just... to make you feel better, and you weren't eating, I thought that maybe... oh, fuck, I knew I should just buy something, but I didn't want to leave you here and go out, then..."

He stopped his rambling immediately when he looked at you. You were... smiling?

"Dave, you're the best, I swear." You hugged him from behind, giggling.

"Wait, hold on..." he chuckled. "I fucked up."

"You didn't." You explained to him. "I didn't need a cake, I needed someone to care this much about me."

"Y/N..." he turned around to face you, staying inside your embrace. "You have no idea how much I care about you... you are my everything."

"I love you, Dave. I don't know how I would do this without you."

"You won't do this without me, I'll be right here, okay?"

"I don't know..." you shrugged, feeling the pain coming back to your chest. "I feel like it's not gonna go away... ever."

"I know." He sighed, caressing your hair. "I'm gonna miss him too. But I just know he was the luckiest dog who ever lived. To be loved this much by you, to grow up by your side... I just know he lived his best life."

"He did." You allowed yourself to smile again. "He was so happy. Specially after you came along."

David had to fight his emotions. He felt a little sting in his heart. He loved his little family, but he felt so undeserving of all that love. He thought about how Nugget got attached to him so quickly and he couldn't understand why. Just like he couldn't understand why burning a cake was the only thing that made you feel better, after all he tried... maybe love was still a little bit of a foreigner concept for him to understand. But maybe that was the point... as a detective, he was always trying to understand everything, and maybe love wasn't something to be understood... all he knew was that it was all over that kitchen.

-----

Weeks passed and you were still healing. You still cried sometimes, but you were starting to accept it.

David had to go back to work, of course. Lives depended on him and keeping him home made you feel worse. At first, he took it slow. Didn't work as much as he used to. But as he started to go back to his normal rotine, you realized it would be harder than you thought.

After one particularly stressful day, around 1am, he went back to his car, ready to go home.

He started the car. Then paused. He could swear something moved on the backseat. He turned around and inspected it for a moment. There was nothing there, he was probably just exhausted.

He started driving. Something moved again.

"What the fuck..." he murmured, keeping his eyes on the mirror.

That's when a pair of yellow eyes looked back at him.

"Shit!" His eyes widened.

It was a kitten. As black as the seats, which is why he couldn't see it before. He left the car windows open and the kitten must have jumped in...

What the fuck was he gonna do now? He couldn't leave the kitten on the streets. But he couldn't take it home either... he had no idea how you would react, you were still sad about Nugget...

His mind raced until he got home, trying to decide what to do.

He had an idea.

As soon as he parked the car, he grabbed a box, put an old jacket of his inside it and placed it in the garage. He went back to the car and grabbed the kitten. He didn't realize how small it was before, but it fit in his hand. The kitten started purring as soon as David's hand made contact with it.

"Oh my god..." he murmured. He had never held a kitten in his life... he probably didn't even know they... vibrated.

He placed the kitten inside the box.

"Okay... I'll see what I'll do with you in the morning."

As soon as he turned his back, the kitten jumped out of the box, following him. It ran between David's legs, making him trip.

"Fuck!" He tried not to fall, at the same time as he tried not to step on the cat, that was the size of his boot. "Listen... you need to stay here, I'll figure out what to do with you in the morning, okay?"

He picked the cat back up, putting it inside the box again.

It jumped out. Of course.

On the 5th time that happened, David just sat on the floor, absolutely exhausted. He rested his face on his hands, cursing his luck. The kitten climbed up his legs and laid down.

David was starting to wonder if he was gonna have to sleep on the garage that night. That's when the door opened.

He and the cat looked at you with a terrified expression.

"I can explain." He said, with the most desperate look you had ever seen on his face.

"OH.MY.GOD." You gasped and brought your hand to your mouth.

"He followed me... I've been trying to get home for half an hour, I swear, he won't let me, I..."

"David." You looked at him with tears in your eyes. "You've been chosen."

"What do you mean?" He was trying to figure out if you were happy or upset. "I'm gonna take him somewhere tomorrow, I'll just..."

"David!" You kneeled next to the kitten, offering your hand for it to smell, and it immediately headbutted your hand. "Don't you dare say something like that, you're his father now..."

"Y/N..." he got even more desperate after hearing the word 'father'.

"This is the most affectionate kitten I've ever seen in my life..." you continued petting the small kitten, who was now loafing on David's leg. You picked it up to look for any signs that it might be hurt or sick. "It's a girl, by the way..."

"It's a girl..." he repeated, trying to process everything.

"You think...?" You got excited for a second, then calmed down. "Well, nevermind."

"Tell me what's on your mind, baby." David gave you space, as you sat beside him, holding the kitten on your lap.

"I... I was wondering if we could... keep it." You kept petting the kitten, who looked very relaxed. "But I understand if you don't want to... I mean, I know I've been a pain in the ass since Nugget is gone, and you probably won't want to go through that again..."

"Y/N, you haven't been a pain in the ass for a second in your life. I love you." He laughed. "I just... didn't know if you were ready yet."

"Well, I..." you thought about it for a second. "I didn't think I was. But... she chose you, it just... happened. I mean... I know it's hard to lose a pet we love, but... there are others out there who deserve a loving home too, you know? Like Nugget had. And there are so many animals suffering on the streets... specially cats..."

"You know what?" He smiled, really proud of you. "I think this is what Nugget would have wanted."

"DOES THAT MEAN SHE'S OURS?" You spoke excitedly.

"She's ours." He shrugged.

The kitten stood up, stretching and walking from your lap to David's, where she laid down again.

"She LOVES you..." you felt the tears starting to fall. It was so exciting that David would be there since day one for the kitten's life... with Nugget was different, and he deserved this. "She chose you."

"She's... vibrating again..." he raised his eyebrows.

"SHE'S PURRING, DAVID, YOU ARE HER DAD!"

"Jesus Christ..." he sighed, wondering what the fuck he got himself into.

[whatonearthisgoingon]

As someone who just started theater this year, what tips do you have? If that's a hard question to answer, what's your favorite production?

Oh these are great questions!

So I'm going to give you a few tips; some are things I really struggled with, just because of the way I am and stuff. Others are more general, but I hope they help you out still!

Don't let the role you get effect you too much, if it wasn't something you wanted. There are two parts to this that I struggled with. a) You might think you want a role, but in reality you're not the best pick for it. There is nothing bad about you just because you didn't get that role. It's just out of the pickings, the other person had one or two points above you. Instead, ask the director what made them pick that decision; you can often get pointers on how to improve your skills, and get what you want next time. And sometimes it's a tough tie, and the director has to flip a coin on who's getting the role; it means nothing on you. For both of these situations, if you dwell on the role you didn't get, you won't embrace the role you got to the best of your ability; it will make yours and everyone else's experience worse. b) I often felt that many times, I was more qualified for a role than the person who was picked for it. A chunk of theater, especially if it's a company that have had the same people there for a while, is a popularity contest, and who knows the director best. Directors, just like teachers and parents, pick favorites. You might not be handed the role you want, and it may have nothing to do with your skill level; the other person might just know the director more. For a long time I was so confused on why this one girl always got the lead role, and no one else got a chance. One role that required a ballet experienced lead that I tried for (13+ years of ballet here, and the only ballerina at that company), was given to that girl who had no experience. I later found out that girl was a huge donor to the company; money and politics.

Always be willing to take constructive criticism and corrections, but don't dwell on it too hard. 95% of the time, it is not meant to be in malice or rudeness. I had such a huge time in accepting a director or fellow actor's advice. Every one felt like a personal insult, that I would nod along too, then berate myself for having that flaw, rather than thinking on how I can fix the thing that needed fixing. Berating will do nothing; you are not worthless for being off key the one time you sang that tune, okay? Hear the correction, fix it, and move on.

Don't read just your lines. Just looking at your lines and memorizing them, although will let your preform and recite, won't let you play the character to the best. You don't have to memorize the other characters' lines, but read the story over and over, and have a decent idea and expect what others are going to say around you. This will help you learn how your character is supposed to interact with others. Reading the script as a story a few times, rather just flying through and memorizing your own stuff, will help you preform them in many different ways. This will help you accurately play relationships and tension between characters. Additionally, if you or a fellow actor with a line before you do fuck up and forget a line, you can come up with something believable to the character, as you know your character further than the lines on the paper, and the audience won't notice.

Be well-rounded. If you can, I would recommend taking classes and workshops to improve your skills. These can be voice lessons, improvisation lessons, body language and dance classes, scene studies, audition technique, etc. Being a well-rounded actor make you popular in the acting market. One common term for this is a Triple-Threat: Acting, Singing, and Dancing. People who fill these descriptions are loved and sought after by directors. You can get by not being one of course, but every point you can get will help you out.

Keep a record of your shows; a resume. I am crap at remembering things, so I need to write down everything I've been in, and what role I've played in it. It's good to have, as it will make your life easier to talk to a director. Additionally, if you have a paper copy of everything you've been in, especially when that list gets larger, it makes you look professional; directors like that, because it's a sign you'll take the role seriously.

In terms of productions I've preformed in, I'd have to say "Into the Woods" is my favorite. It has so many different classic stories interlaced together, and I loved it. I was in it twice; I played Red Riding Hood the first time, and Cinderella the second time; I had so much fun.

I love your questions, and I hope the tips help you out. By the way, I love your blog. The vibe is amazing <3

(Enjoy all the notifs you're about to get 😈)