#i don't think i have a well developped personal headcanon for him yet
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amber-tortoiseshell · 4 months ago
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(ignore this if you're not taking warriors asks anymore) so, i just saw sol's canon design and I think it's really cool. but also isn't entirely possible from first glance. he's a calico that looks like some sort of dark colorpoint (sepia or mink) with the body having stripes but the points being solid. is there any way this could be possible (unless hes a chimera which would also explain being a male calico)? I'm thinking smoke could be in play and he simply has ghost markings, either a sepia smoke, or just smoke since sometimes it can look like colorpoint even if it isn't. what are your thoughts?
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Yes, i don't think that's a realistic design, but well, don't let this stop us.
I think the tabby part is too brown to be full color smoke (maybe a chocolate?) and also i think the pointed-like effect on smokes is only visible if the cat has very short and maybe rex-type fur(?) which is. not the case for Sol lol*, but maybe we can work with mink/sepia. Thanks to felinefractious's amazing database i can provide examples how a smoke sepia and a smoke mink looks like:
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The points aren't as well defined as Sol's are and these are bengals, of course - i don't think most smokes would have this clear patterns, let them be sepia or not. But why not make Sol a bengal mix then? (And if you want to keep the mackerel stripes, that's not a problem either, it can turn up in only one generation, since marbled bengals exist, and mackerel is dominant over marbled since it's a modification of blotched.) Maybe the smoke isn't even necessary in this case, it just makes the cat colder toned and the face more patterned, a simple solid sepia/mink with this kind of strong ghostmarking would work.
*Oh god i have another idea. That would be so funny. So imagine that he's a chimera. And one of his parts is a chocolate tortie or whatever with very short rexed fur - so it basically looks pointed. And then the other part is a dominant white longhair. That'd look so ridiculous i love it
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Imagine the mix of these two cats. (1, 2)
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meanbossart · 5 months ago
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A personal headcanon of mine is that Cazador had a special interest in Astarion before turning him into a vampire possibly a romantic obsession.
I was curious about what your personal thoughts were on the relationship between Cazador and Astarion?
Let me stop you right there - Yes.
Now, I'm a little reluctant to elaborate on this one, because I think it can be seen as a little reductive of the characters and their stories to condense what could be a political plot into something as superficial as another "if I can't have you, no one will" storyline - not only would that be less interesting to some people, but it once again reduces Astarion's character to his attractiveness - while the former, for once, actually made him "desirable" for his achievements and influence - even if it doomed him after all.
But at the same time, this theory compels me for that reason exactly. It sets the origins of the whole issue and what would, overtime, erupt into this complex he has of himself and how others perceive him.
I'm not a stickler for details as long as you can tell me a good story, but it's notable to me that the reasons why Cazador set his eyes on Astarion so early in his reign are never really elaborated on further. How much influence did he really have as a young magistrate, and what kind of rulings could he be passing that would affect Cazador so much for him to take such a risk in abducting someone of his standing right as he had himself come into power? Cazador is an idiot, but he's an idiot who managed to say alive and hidden for two centuries - this move was either exceptionally well thought-out, or Astarion wasn't that liked as a magistrate, or Cazador had far pettier motives to take such a risk.
Not to mention, Astarion is awfully elusive whenever you inquire about the hows and whys of his abduction. Dismissive, even. Like it's something he doesn't want to talk about. I could take that down the boring route and say "oh, the writers just didn't care to develop this part of his story", or I could do the far more fun thing and read into it.
Then, of course, there's the vague suggestions that Astarion stood out among the spawn for one reason or another - he's referred to as the runt of the litter, and yet as Cazador's favorite as well. Going through Cazador's journal following Astarion's disappearance, there seems to be something besides frustration about him leaving just as he's about to ascend - there's resentment, there's desperation. Why the fuck does Petras act as if Cazador would ever do anything good for them if they were treated as Astarion describes? How the fuck were any of them under the impression that this ritual would benefit them whatsoever, while Astarion seems to have always known better? While I have no doubt that they all suffered under Cazador's control, there seems to be indication that Astarion suffered specially badly. The question left is why.
I don't think they were ever lovers or anything like that, I don't think Astarion ever even knew Cazador well enough to give him a passing thought, but I think it would be absolutely rich for a newly born, still spite-fuelled vampire lord to make very emotionally-driven decisions. The type of decisions that he looks back on and curses himself for. For having ever had such a weak mind.
Think of it, you come into all this power after years of pain, sorrow and suffering. You set your hungry, lonely little eyes on the prettiest girl at the ball - she turns you down spectacularly. She laughs you off under thinly veiled pleasantries. You are beside yourself - you were supposed to have everything you ever wanted, to be untouchable, to be desirable, to have some sort of supernatural allure about yourself - you were under the impression that now, all of your problems had been solved and everything that life has to offer would be thrown at your feet, like you perceived it to be like to your own, deceased masted; then the rug gets ripped from under your feet. But, a moment after, you realize: when you want something very badly, you can now just take it.
So you do. You get a shiny new toy. Fresh off your dull, painful past-experiences it seems like this toy is all you need to bring the long-lost zest back into your life, it is your first taste of true power and control, your dear beloved, your reluctant companion, and you paint a picture of what life will be alongside it (though slightly stooped beneath you - you can't be equals, of course) decades, no, centuries into the future.
But the toy doesn't ever grow to like you. In fact, it hates you for what you are, what you chose to become and what you chose to make of, and to it. For a few years, you try. Then eventually you get bored of it.
In a few more, you begin to not be able to stand the sight of it. It reminds you of a time when you were naive, when you were stupid. Worse yet, it is now your ball and chain as you made it. The only use you see remaining for it is to tear it apart again and again and again until you've forgotten why you're even doing it. You don't even want to touch it yourself, you get others to do it for you.
I don't think Cazador harbored anything but that indifferent resentment towards Astarion through the vast majority of those two centuries, and, horrifically enough, I don't think Astarion even knew why for a good deal of it himself. I can picture him going over and over any passing interactions they ever had (if they even had any) desperately trying to piece together why me, what could I have done differently, how could I have avoided this hell.
Then, at some point, in the brief moments when his mind is somewhat cleared and after he has heard enough vague, cryptic remarks out of Cazador's mouth about his looks, about his attitude, about how he must think he's too good to do what he does, it hits him: If I had just said yes, none of this would have happened. It would have been a brief moment of disgust, but then it would have been over.
And you beat yourself over it almost much as you feel shame. You're embarrassed. Because you've now had to endure all this torment just because you said no to the wrong man - a matter of picking the bad choice at 50/50 odds. Not only that - but you were apparently so worthless to the world that this small mistake was enough to doom you for all eternity: It was, apparently, all you were worth. And he has made that abundantly clear by what he puts you up to now.
So, when someone asks you why it happened, you give them a better reason. One that at least highlights other things you were good at. They probably wouldn't believe you if you told them the truth, anyways.
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tyunniebbang · 13 days ago
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oh so flirty : boyfriend enha
—💌 let's sugar talk !
content: boyfriend headcanons with ot7
no content warnings, all fluff!
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little pecks, a soft head pat — heeseung would be a quiet lover. despite being well known for his extremely flirty stage persona, he realises that he likes to show his love with small actions. that way, he knows how to clearly separate enhypen's Lee Heeseung and The Lee Heeseung, himself. he loves it when you look at him knowingly, a silent conversation, telling him you absolutely love his attention. going to work? have a kiss, baby.
"do you want some dinner, love?" — jay would be such a caring lover. mothering you every other minute, you might be convinced that he's mama duck and he just loves his little duckling (you). coming home feels so comfortable, seeing jay nursing his kimchi stew meant for your delicious dinner. he scoops your portion of rice and pats your butt to tell you to hurry up. nothing swells up his heart more to see you so happy while munching down on his food.
a gift, a bouquet of flowers, a peck to welcome you home — jake is an absolute romantic. flirty is his middle name, he never stops to amaze you with his advances. it's awkward, but your cute little romantic would wait for you outside the door everyday, refusing to stay inside. it's like coming home to a puppy with a large wagging tail everyday. his eyes sparkles when he sees your silhouette nearing and calls out your name.
"aye~ i know all about you!"— park sunghoon is really an enigma. he squabbles, fights, teases you till no end. yet somehow that's exactly how he shows his love. when park sunghoon bickers with you, you know ultimately he's right. goodness me, how does he know everything about you? he's down to every detail and knows every strand of hair that makes you perfect, your personality that he loves.
yapper one and two — nothing beats a date at a quaint little cafe, sitting at the corner table with sunoo. chit chatting your woes away, sharing about the crazy things you've seen this past week at your university. maybe you don't notice, but sunoo likes to gaze at you when you go on about your long rant about... something that he forgot. none of that matters when he wants to appreciate your beauty.
fluffy this, fluffy that — everytime jungwon goes out, he has to commit himself to buy one plushie that looks like you. and cue the 30 minute yap about how he thinks you are equally as adorable as a spiky komodo dragon. everything reminds him of you, he misses you so much it's borderline attachment issues. it's probably time to tell jungwon that you don't take up majority of the space on your bed anymore. maybe he needs to find something new to get you.
"what- no, i don't like you!" — niki is a 100% tsundere. at first, you thought he was just an immature little kitten, but his feelings have seemed to slowly develop for you. he's going to explode if he doesn't do something. you wonder, why is this tall threatening emo boy suddenly bringing you coffee milk and a delicious strawberry cake? his pale cheeks turn pink whenever he sees you. does he... like you?
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headcanonenthusiast · 11 months ago
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König NSFW headcanons
It was certainly a close call on the last poll, but König won! So, as promised, here are some NSFW headcanons of this absolute behemoth of a man 😎
I also like König, personally, but it will never not be hilarious to me that this dude doesn't have nearly as much screentime, development, and well, almost everything compared to other characters like Price or Ghost yet SKYROCKETED to popularity while the other members of KorTac are ignored 😭 Ppl like what they like ig.
(I completely understand that this type of content is not everyone's cup of tea, and that's ok! But, please scroll and ignore if this type of content isn't your thing as opposed to leaving any sort of negative comments.)
NSFW under the cut.
-He's quite obviously noticed by now that he's tall as fuck.
-And the cocky bastard 100% uses that to his advantage.
-Will back you up against anything and trap you there. The wall, a countertop, a corner, anywhere and everywhere he can trap you with his body.
-Now, how him trapping you plays out depends on how you act.
-If you're more playful and disobedient? He's a lot more rough, more demanding, more determined to pin you down and take what he wants.
-"Are you going to do what I say? Or are you going to keep acting like a fucking slut?"
-But if you're more inclined to submit to him, he's the exact opposite. He treats you so delicately, as if you were an expensive vase he doesn't want to break.
-"Oh, I'm sorry, meine liebe. Did I startle you? I didn't mean to."
-Then he's gently pulling you into his chest as his giant hands roam your body.
-Major size kink. The shorter you are compared to him = the gentler he is. Just feel like he doesn't have the heart to be too harsh on you if the height difference is more drastic.
-"No, no, no. I'm not doing that to you, meine liebe."
-His hands run all over your body in a gentle manner, practically cooing and begging at you to change your request. He's too anxious about hurting you if you're much shorter.
-"I don't think you could take it, schatz. You're so much smaller than me, there's no way it won't hurt for you."
-Does love hearing you beg, though. So if you ask really nicely, and repeat your chosen safeword like 50 times, and give him more time to prep you, he might give in.
-"Fine, fine. But, you tell me the moment it hurts, ja? Ja, good. Good girl/boy."
-The way he acts is honestly so dependant on how his partner acts, although he almost always insists on being dominate. That's set in stone.
-But as much as he insists on being on top, he won't be too rough unless you have consented beforehand and act like more of a brat.
-So focused on your eyes at all times, not just when he's pounding you.
-"What? Why are you eyeing me like that?"
-And then when you beg for sex, he'll chuckle with his arms crossed, an amused smirk on his face.
-"Oh, that's why. Alright, fine. I'll give you what you want."
-Does make you beg no matter how you act, though.
-"If, and only if, you ask nicely."
-And if you refuse? May God have mercy on you, because König certainly won't.
-"And just who the hell are you to speak to me that way, huh? When did you become such a brat?"
-Narrows his eyes and is absolutely appaled when you swear at him. Like, hand to his chest, overly dramatic ass expression on his face as if you've actually hurt his feelings and this isn't all consensual.
-"Fine, then I'll just find a better use for that filthy little mouth of yours."
-A huge sucker (no pun intended) for blowjobs.
-If you're someone who likes it rougher and prefers being a brat, he's gonna go a bit harsher on your throat. He gives you a long af lecture for no reason, ranting while his giant fingers dig into your hair.
-"Why do you make things so difficult, liebling? Why?"
-Big fan of fucking you dumb. Prays that he's able to basically turn your mind to mush everytime. And when he does, his ego skyrockets.
-"It must be because you're such a little slut for me. Is that right? Habe ich damit recht, liebling? Was für eine Schlampe du für mich bist."
-But, if you give him a blowjob and are listening to him, it'd go something more like this.
-"You don't have to take it all at once, schatz. It's too much for you."
-"Careful, darling. Don't choke on my cock, now. Don't make your throat sore."
-And he's gently rubbing the back of your head, content hums and moans falling from his lips as he admires you sucking his cock.
-5 inches soft, 7 inches hard and you already know it's fat asf (lord have MERCY 😶)
-Carries you around a lot. Will gladly fuck you with you in his arms if you let him.
-Always grabbing onto your hips, thighs, and even your belly if you're chubbier. He just needs a partner he can grab onto while having sex.
-Really likes to tap the tip of his cock against your clit/dick/ass. Smiles if it makes you twitch a little.
-Praises your pussy/ass constantly for how tight it is.
-"Fuck, this pussy/ass is so tight. Feels so good.."
-And it's either he's cumming super deep inside of you, or he's pulling out at the last minute to paint your pussy lips/ass cheeks with his cum.
-Always enjoys seeing the finished product afterwards, whether it's inside or on you.
-And if you're chubbier? He wants to cum on that belly. In fact, he will. There's barely anything to stop him (besides you using your safeword, ofc) from cumming on your belly.
-"There we go, my perfect little liebling. You look so pretty/handsome painted in my cum."
-He also seems to count eating you out/sucking you off as aftercare. He'll gladly, and very gently, use his mouth on you so you can cum again.
-Then for the actual aftercare, it's fairly simple. He doesn't talk much, just wanting to pass out, but he'll put your head on his chest, a hand on your back with light kisses pressed to your scalp. He allows himself to become your bed as you both drift off.
-And don't worry if you'd prefer more talking for doing so well for him, he'll be sure to properly praise you tomorrow. The entire morning after sex, he's doting upon your every whim, ensuring that he didn't hurt you at all.
Translations: mein/meine = my
Liebling = darling
Schatz = treasure/sweetheart
Liebe = love
Habe ich damit recht, liebling? Was für eine Schlampe du für mich bist. = Am I right about that, darling? What a slut you are for me.
Yall I wrote this while half asleep, I'm so sorry if there's any spelling mistakes 😭
I also had fun with this. I love König just as much as the next basic König lover who's only ever heard of him from tiktok, but I cannot take him 100% seriously, as terrifying as he is 😭 its probably bc of his voice ngl.
Anyways, Ghost is up next! Hope you enjoyed.
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bear-remn · 3 months ago
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Girl, I’m addicted to your blog! It’s so creative and captivating; I can feel the vibrant energy between the characters. It’s truly rewarding to have so many brilliant artists in the fandom <3
I can’t wait to see a headcanon about Subaru; I think I’m going to die when that moment arrives.
(I'm sorry for any inconsistencies; my english isn't the best yet, and I sometimes need help :T)
— subaru headcanons!
omg ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ ty so much for your kind words! i felt appreciated reading it so thanks for making my day! youre such a sweetheart, ty again for support my blog and my art (๑´>᎑<)~*
here i bring subaru, and it was a little more difficult than with the rest of the sakamakis, maybe bc i dont get most of subarus actions, i think he is the one with more inconcistencias in his development so i hope i dont dissapoint with it, he is so difficult but so easy at the same time im going crazy.
tw: this post contains nsfw (+18)!!! if you dont like that content dont read it!
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i spent so much time drawing this and it was so worth it, and i really was a little off with drawing him angry or neutral so i draw him with two cute little smiles, i also hated his hair during sketching this, fk desing, but i love it so much ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´-
his looks and selfcare
i think subaru is very handsome, like his brothers, but he dont know it, he dont realize how good looking he is. i can imagine subaru being constantly approached by his classmates, both woman and men, but since he ghe way he is, his appearance got overpowered by his personality.
i also think, maybe a little too out of the clue but, i think subaru face most of the time is like a little angry, without realizing it, his eyebrows furrow giving an angry image, even if he is not, it is like his face of rest. angry rest face.
i think subaru is very similar to his mother, but with the structure of his father, i imagine subaru with slanted eyes, a straight nose, and his strong jaw makes his face come together so well. i like to think subaru has a gentle gaze, not a killer one like ayato, maybe bc he is constantly on his past and feels pity for another living being, something in between.
i think subaru has one of the most hipnotizing eyes, not like his brothers tho. i like to think he is has more the kind of eyes shu has, like a deep color and with a fixed expression. i like to think they, shu and subaru, are very alike even if they have different mothers.
i belive subaru is the kind of man that don't sweat much, even so, i do think subaru likes to shower often, i think he is more into long hot boiling baths, and if he is more stress than normal, he totally is gonna ask for ayatos bath bombs or so, dont like candles tho. and i also think sometimes he fell asleep during some baths.
i think subaru might like sweet scents even if he deny it, he loves sweet smells. maybe a good vanilla or a coconut one, but i do see him liking sweet fruits, such as strawberries, peaches, and apples. specially peaches. he likes it on his shampoo, his conditiones, his bar soap and even the liquid soap for hands. but not on perfume.
i think subaru likes more mint, lemon or so when it comes to perfume.
oh, i think subaru also has more of straight hair than curly hair, you know when a part of your is more curly or has more volume than another part? thats subarus hair for sure, so he tends to make it even by brushing it.
i think subaru's body is... very very... like... hot you know? like he is tall and more thick than his brothers, with a wide back and shoulders. i also love imagine subaru with big arms and his forearms?? his hands?? just thick. very strong and definetly has veins in his arms without making an effort. and as shu, he also as a thick waist and a very strong and gooooood looking v line. and also has a happy trail. i mean. do you imagine him shaving often? his beautiful silver hair? no, he doesnt shave too much.
i think subaru, as rare as it might sound, gets hair on his chest, that hair he shaves it, but the hair of the rest of his body not too much, and its not visible either. like, white hair on his pale skin? not on easy sight.
oh, and he also has thick fingers and his nails are pretty avegare, but for some reason the nail of his pinky grows faster than the others, so he thens to bite that one.
and about his style, i do belive subaru only likes basics and neutrals clothes, but don't like to feel things around his neck, it get on his nerves, dont like oversize clothes either.
and to finish, subaru is like his two olders brothers and can't grow a hole beard, subaru shaves it right away when he sees a little bit of hair, makes him feel old too.
random stuff
to start off with this man. i have some thought on his behavior. like have you guys seen how jelaous he is? he is maybe the most childish one out the sakamakis when it comes to jealousy. and thats canon for me.
but i do see him being very passive aggressive with the people he enjoys to hang out, like if you are with him and you ask him for a pencil, he will just say no and then pass it to you. and with a dead ass angry face. no reason for it. or if you ask him a favor he will say "fuck off" and then do it.
i hate the fact of subaru not having not one single fucking hobby, wtf?? i dont belive it. i do think he might have tried stuff and just dont get too into it. but not every hobby, like maybe reading existencial poetry or even drawing or painting, i do see him as a artist kind of guy lol. i imagine subaru in his teen years, some time has passed since his mother died, and he always tries to paint in oil white roses, just to keep her mother in his mind but he hates it so much he destroys every stencil he makes.
i also think he might have tried to draw animals in the woods close to the manor but the animals moved so much he got frustrated and never tried again.
and maybe, a little sad, but he hates to cry, so he just let his tears fall from his eyes and bites on his lips to not make a sound, he will hate his brotheres to see him cry.
i think, subaru used to bite his nails, thinking and trying to understand his mother but at his age it was so confusing for him. and the hate just for seeing his father will make him bites on his fingers as well. he was very anxious in his childhood and no one, even when he tried to get close to the triples bc he wanted to play with them, he was left apart, so he never felt a part of anything, but i do belive subaru still want to be a real brother even if he dont know how to.
i think, even if subaru says otherwise, subaru likes spicy food, like hot flaming food, likes how it feels in his troat.
i also think he is more into weight lifting, thats why his body is more thick than his brothers that does another kind of excersize.
and as ayato, always feels anxious when is close to something religios, just feels weird and ridiculous for him. church's specially.
and i like to think, i know he will do it, when subaru can't sleep he taps the wood of his coffin whith his fingers on the beat on songs, like really soft and just for him to hear. eventually his fingers will stop bc he fall asleep.
or if he is bored he definetly play with his knife, like when the moonlight is bright on his window room. subaru will take his knife out and reflect the light on the silver, playing a little with it. sometimes he does this with his brothers when they are in the garden just minding their bussiness, making the little light come into their eyes and then hiding behind the curtains in his room. can't laugh, either way his brothers will know he was the one messing with them.
nsfw
ok, so.... his dick....
i belive, on my knees, that he always have the same size, like, you know meat team? yea... that. i see him as a good 18 cm, its thick and heavy, his balls too, the man is just a little too big for his own good. also has two prominent veins coming from his crocht to the tip, wich is a pretty soft salmon color. he keeps some hair but not too long, just enough to have a slight happy trail of his silver hair.
i think subaru is definetly a dominant, but not a harsh one, something like a service dom, he don't mind if you are on top or start things, but do likes to have most control of situations. but he don't seek a too submissive partner either, he wants you to desire it as much as he does. bc he does.
i think subaru is not good at flirting so much... i mean, i have to say it, subaru is rather shy when it comes to romance, basically bc he thinks he does'nt deserve any kind of love or affection, so yea, kinda difficult. so i think his way to show you he cares for you or is interested in you is quality time, like, i imagine subaru hanging out with you and just listening to whatever you're saying, and talking for him really makes him more interested for you, he is not the kind of guy that will see first your looks, it has not a single one bit of appeal for your body at first. and definetly he will not make the firts move, and im not talking about kissing, i am talking about fucking holding hands. yes.
and when he is feeling more confortable with you, subaru will start to checking you out, like watching your legs when you cross them, even if you have pants, the man is intriged. or if you have your hair up he cannot take his eyes off your neck, he really craves your physical touch. and if you catch him looking at you he will simply mess with you "what? im not watching you, just a fly pass by" yea he's that.
in other ocasions if he smells a change of scent due your perfume, he will get close to you but not enought to touch your skin "peaches? uh... not bad i suppose" but the man is obsessed.
and when the times come, when you kiss him subaru is a little taken aback but will hold you close and look into your eyes "are you sure? if you get involved with me, you will never go back to your old life, think wise or else you'll end up like me" but ofc, you choose him.
since that moment, he will bite you more often, but more gentle and hold you more close to his body, i imagine him biting your neck and drinking a little of you blood to then lick the wounds and kiss them so they can heal better, his kisses go up until his lips reach yours.
oh and his kisses? omg.
but before talking of subaru kisses, i have to say this.
i think subaru is very... like, into physical touch but in a more intimate way of, like very sutile and mature. idk but. i imagine subaru hanging out with you, maybe watching a movie and if the pose while sitting fit. subaru will have one of his hands caressing you back under your shirt. like not sexually intended, just likes to feel your skin every chance he gets. and don't put his nails againts your back bc he know you may get ghostbumps. he definetly is more of a back guy than a boob or ass man.
and if the moment pops out, and you're sitting in subaru's lap, he will touch your belly gently while resting his head on your shoulder. he loves that kind of contact with you, it means a lot to him.
and if youre using a loose shirt he have more freedom to touch as he wish, and... im losing it.
subaru in some moment will get heated by your body, since vampires can't produce body heat like humans, and will mess with you for that, but in a different way you may think "lean more againts me... your back is more hot when you're on my lap huh... don't you dare to get up" his lips are in your nape, gently kissing it while touching your belly. and if youre moving too much on top of him he might get a little bit worked up. so he will take you by your jaw and make you face him for a wet kiss.
he is'nt much of words in those moments, for him, your eyes say everything he needs to know. so... his kisses.
little detail about subaru, i dont think he will do anything with someone he is'nt truly interested, i mean, really into you, so he is'nt dry or something like that, he is very much passionate about everything he does to you and with you.
so now, his kisses, finally.
subaru likes soft and tender smooches, i see him always trying to kiss you or give you a little peck, ofc when you two are alone, dont like to make things in front of people. don't put on a show. so when the kiss gets hotter, subaru will gently bite on your lip and explore with his tongue your mouth, slowly and with no rush. feeling how hot your tongue is really makes him moan a little into your mouth, can't control his hands when your body is so hot compared to his. loves it.
so, back to the lap situation. subaru will go straight into a wet kiss, sucking on your tongue and pressiong his croch into your ass while squeezing your thigh. his breath in your lips as you hold on his strong arms, feeling how he control himself. subaru will bite your little tongue on his mouth as his hands go to hold gently your tits "ya want it? wanna go to bed or..?" and yes... he tries to be as gentle with you as he can.
i think subaru likes to carry you to bed or his coffin, likes to get your scent into it so he can sleep better later, but can't deny the bed is more confortable.
but sometimes, when the situation is more desesperate, like after a walk or a public event, he will pin you down on the floor and start kissing and biting your neck and chest "you wanted this huh? dont act dumb on me, you know what you do to me" and his hungry eyes for you will melt you completly, subaru with needy eyes is dangerous.
i think subaru don't really likes to put nicknames on you, for him the pretty name of yours feels like sweet honey on his mouth to say, so he definetly calls you by your name always. but sometimes he feels freaky and likes to call you his good girl.
and sometimes while taking off your clothes he rips them apart but not intencionally "fuck, sorry hun, this stupid fabric always gets on the way... i'll buy you a new one, a better one... or maybe you should stay like this in bed forever hehe... " and since subaru is good and nice, he is a service dom.
i think subaru enjoys to make you suffer for his mouth every chance he gets, and he got to know your body so well that he knows how to make you tremble.
subaru loves eating you out, feeling your thighs trembles and holding around his head is everything for him. subaru will lick, suck and kiss your clit, not giving attention to any other part of you body, your climax will be more late but more intense. subaru moans while eating it, hold one of you legs with one hand while the other is holding your hand, feeling how you grip his big fingers and thick knucles. after you cum he don't stop, he will lick clean every part that is wet around your pussy. his chin and lips shiny from your liquids "what? want a taste? hehe" oh, and his eyes? omg his beautiful eyes look hipnotized by your body, watching into your eyes with a gentle yet intense gaze of desire. omfg.
and if you suck him off i imagine him seated and you in your knees, taking his dick in your mouth is kinda of a challenge, bc the man in a little too thick for your little mouth, and he tries not to push you but everything about you is so hot, literally, he sometimes is afraid you may burn him with you body "dont push yourself too much... yes... that's good... youre being such a good girl" but don't like to cum on your face, he has another plans for that.
i think subaru likes to make you cum on his fingers as well, and since his fingers are thick and long enough he easily abuse your g-spot so many times until you cum again, will lick his fingers to then start touching himself as you position yourself for him.
and about positions, i think he is rather simple sometimes but if hes feeling it, might do the pose where he is standing and you're holding in the air with your legs around his waist and your hands in his shoulders. ofc he has the strenght and the size so... yea. in that position subaru is the one in full control, holding you by your butt cheeks making you move up and down on his trobing dick, and your pussy feels so good in that positions, tight and so fucking wet for him. some of your liquids fall to his legs but he can't care less, he is too inmerse in how your jaw drop in every thrust, how your eyes look into his with a needy look and your pink cheeks shine under the soft moonlight "who's my good girl huh?... yes you are... fuck... ya' better milk me good ah.." and feeling how you tighten around him makes his hands hold you more rough and fuck you hard. the wet noises with your moans and his horny grunts makes the air hot to breath, almost like a sauna, your only body heat was enough to make everything around burn in desire.
another position can be reverse coswgirl, but again, he is the one moving your body, not completly tho. i imagine subaru gasping hard while watching how you move your hips and back to have a better access to a deep conection. oh and subaru? he has to bite his bottom lip for how good you look from behind, your back is everything to him and his abs contract at the mere sight of the curvature of your back. his pace become erratic for it. he goes hard and his voice grunts a little over how fast and hard he is pushing into you, eventually subaru push your face into the matress in all four and fuck you until he cums in your back, to then put it in again and slap your ass "wanna rematch? haha" he jokes, not entirely tho.
i also think if you two got into a second round, he will let you have more control than before, will let you ride him as much as you wanted to, but facing you. and he is all into your face expressions. loves to see how your jaw drops and your eyes go blank for some seconds. his hands will squeeze your tits that bounce a little and play with your nipples, loves to make them hard. subaru's eyes sometimes will look how you move your hips, in circles or from back to front or even bouncing a little. he finds your body cute in a sexy way, its little compared by his size, and your little efforts really put a smile in his face.
oh, i also belive subaru likes when you dig your nails into his skin, any part of it, his back, his arms, his abs or his chest, he likes that a lot.
and when you both cums he will do it inside you, feeling how you milk him makes subaru not to pull out never, he is so in love of how your body heat burns every part of him.
"you did good... c'me here... my good girl did so good..."
finally, the aftercare is nice and calm, sweet too. subaru will cuddle you hiding his face in your chest, while he hugs you and tap on your back gently, like he does to his coffin before going to sleep, he wants you to relax as much as he does with that little finger tap he does.
"i love you..."
── more of my content here!
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Five and Lila (nonromantic) subway headcanons
Like everyone I really hated the Five x Lila storyline and the butchered potential of their almost-sibling relationship development.
But one thing that really ticked me, and that I haven't really read about yet, is: that timeskip montage looks like 3 weeks, maybe 2 months at best, not SIX FUCKING YEARS. In six years, people visibly age, especially under duress, if, for example, the only thing they can eat is rats?? (I'm not even talking about how they managed to keep roughly the same clothes and haircuts for six years without any explanation, or how they miraculously cleaned up before going back to Diego and Lila's precisely at the right point in time...) In six years alone with another person, you would probably struggle keeping your sanity, and the end result for each of them would probably look something like early stages of Apocalypse S1 Five. In six years alone with another person, even with prior attraction (which would already be ooc for both of them but whatever let's just grant them that for the sake of the argument), you would end up HATING each other all the way through your codependent relationship. I could see them having sex after six months (still following those creepy-ass ooc assumptions), but I could certainly NOT see them kissing softly and romantically wine-dining after SIX YEARS (the time those goddamn showrunners told us it took for passion to die down in a perfect marriage?? How about helltrap subway then??)
So after that really long preamble, here are my headcanons for what that subway section should really have looked like:
No Five x Lila, obviously
They bicker all the time; this escalates into outright fights. At some point, Lila storms off somewhere and they lose each other for five months.
When they realise they're not going home anytime soon, Five finds a timeline with a Dolores (other than the original one) and steals her away, because he's going to need her to cope through this. (Of course, he needs to apologize to her for being gone this long.)
At first, Lila thinks that Five is nuts for talking to Dolores, but in a matter of days she understands the urge and Dolores becomes her best friend. Five and Lila fight over Dolores's approval all. the. time.
Lila collects little trinkets to bring home to Grace and the twins (like the plushies in New Grumpson). After two years the gift bag has got way too big and Five helps her sort out the ones she really wants to keep; she bawls her eyes out and they arrange the throwaway gifts neatly on a bench, just in case they can come back and get them.
They find some really weird and fun timelines. Don't care what, they just do. Lila almost gets killed trying to bring home a souvenir.
Five and Lila find Max's Delicatessen together. By the way, there's a few Lilas there, ones that also met Fives. Lila can vent about her relationship trouble Diego with another Lila who has also married a Diego. But the other Diego is dead, and Lila realizes just how much she wants to get home before that happens.
This is a bit irrelevant, but that Five deli paradox psychosis plothole is explained by a random artefact created by Commission Five (like in his room in S3 I think?).
Five and Lila wait a short while in the deli to make a plan about the apocalypse. Another Five arrives, finds out about the marigold, and says out loud that the solution would be to erase all Hargreeves siblings from existence. A few seconds of silence, and then all the other Fives slaughter him because what kind of Five would to this to their family???? This is also one of the purposes of the deli, by the way. To make sure no Five comes out of the subway with delirious, dangerous ideas about harming their siblings.
Five and Lila realise that if Viktor can take away the marigold from people like Harlan, then he can take it away from his siblings. And what about Viktor himself? Well, Lila can mimic his powers and they can take away each other's marigold at the same time, and lose their powers just as they're done. Darn, why didn't they think of this sooner?
Lila tries to relook Five. After four or five years, he gives in, sees the end result and immediately finds a timeline with a suit to steal so as to fix this freakish mistake. He wears a hat for a while to try and hide his undercut hair.
Lila sings a lot. Five lets her, and just mumbles about her lousy tastes in music to Dolores.
Lila adopts a monstrous pet (three-headed cat? Giant bee?) for a few stops, and it mysteriously disappears at some point. Major fight ensues. Maybe this is why she leaves for a while.
In another timeline, they briefly meet a version of Diego that's not dead yet. He tries to kill them, Lila tells him that he's a great dad, he's weirded out and runs away.
Five picks up littered newspaper to see if there's anything interesting. He becomes a crossword addict. He moves to a new special interest puzzle game every few months.
After a fight, Five's big making-up strategy is to sit down next to Lila and start talking shit about the Handler. It kinda works.
I'm gonna stop here, this is already way too long. Please share your own headcanons if you have any!
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illubean · 4 months ago
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Hi, I just stumbled onto your blog and I love your writing. If you’re accepting requests then can I please request Chorollo, Illumi, and Feitan with a s/o reader similar to Shizuo Hewajima from Durarara. Basically they’re crazy strong without any enhancements and when they get angry their known to throw cars, vending machines, street signs, etc. maybe they get caught in the cross fire when the reader is attacking someone who pissed them off and are amazed by the readers natural strength. Please and thank you.
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HXH W/ a ShizuoHewajima!S/o
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Characters: Illumi Zoldyck, Chrollo Lucilfer, Feitan Portor Type: Crack, Headcanons, Gn!Reader
i never actually watched Durarara but...hes kind of fine.....
Warnings: violence but it's silly
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Illumi Zoldyck
you guys met under odd circumstances
he was out with Hisoka for...whatever reason and both of them turned around at the sudden scream of the magicians name
his face goes paler than it already is before he turned to Illumi and was like "Well, I gotta run now. Tata!"
and you are literally sprinting after the clown at full speed wielding a stop sign that still had bits of concrete attached to it's base
and Illumi's like that's weird I don't sense any aura from them
the next time he encounters you is at a bar, where he was to meet his red haired companion once again
you apologize for him having to see you chase down Hisoka like that, explaining that you don't particularly like violence but your anger get's the best of you
he was already intrigued that you were assumedly able to rip a stop sign out of the ground so naturally he asks you about it
"So I take it you're an enhancer?" "Enhancer of what?"
now he is even more interested
do you have some sort of nen ability that even yourself didn't know about?
and then Hisoka is like no, they just strong like that
and he's like Oh.
every time he has seen an exhibition of your strength, Hisoka had always been on the receiving end of your wrath
and he decides that even though you may or may not be nenless, you are powerful enough to be made into his spouse one day
Chrollo Lucilfer
bro was in a disguise just walking around town when he first met you
as he was walking he saw some dude get tossed through a shop window with a table following suit
"AND STAY OUT YOU SON OF A BITCH! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR SHIT"
Chrollo peeked through the broken to see you standing there, angrily and seemingly underpaid
and he was surprised that it was you who managed to throw both a grown man and a table through a window and across the street
you seemed like every average person so how the hell did you even do that?
and being the crazy yet curious guy he is he steps in through the broken window and you're like oh fuck that was unprofessional
and you chat and you tell him you don't like absolutely bodying people like that but your body has a mind of it's own when angry
and you apologized to him for almost catching him in the crossfire
bro asks for your number then boom you start dating
and he's learned how to avoid ticking you off
yeah, sometimes he makes you mildly angry and gets a mug or two chucked at him but he has yet to be on the receiving end of a literal boulder or large household appliance
Feitan Portor
it was him
he was the one that managed to piss you off
how? who knows
but you are chucking very large pieces of rubble in his direction and he's kind of regretting whatever he said though he'd never admit it
he's encountered many strong people in his life but you're lifting literal boulders WITHOUT nen?
scary
he's probably watched you have a lifting competition with Uvo and win
how the hell did you win against a literal beefy giant!? he will never know
at some point in yorknew, you lifted an entire police car above your head and tossed it like it was nothing
and he develops some sort of silent respect for your strength
he thinks its kind of hot
sorry i have no clue where to go with this
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rivangel · 11 months ago
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PLEASE write about Levi’s mental state, i’m begging you
He’s faced death and precarious situations since he was born, yet he’s still standing strong and hopeful, WHAT THE HELL I LOVE MY SHORT KING
IT'S FINALLY HERE😭im sorry anon i hope you're around to see this and if u are i hope i dont disappoint
the tone in this analysis is so weird because i kept getting caught between 'this is an apa paper no contractions, academic language, double spacing -' and 'this is a tumblr post about a fictional blorbo wtf r u on'
i also use some scientific language i try my best to explain but if this turns anyone off i don't blame them because im unhealthily obsessed
*i'm a third-year undergraduate psychology student w/ a concentration in psychopathology
tw/cw: discussion of childhood exposure to sex (not assault)
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Foreword
I’ve been putting this off for a while (I’m forgetful and this topic is intimidating what can I say), but being a year out from graduating with my bachelor’s to become a mental health professional, and being a Levi scholar(/hj), I wanted to give this a shot. 
I wanted to dissect and examine Levi Ackerman’s mental health “currently” (as in general canon), and explain as thoroughly but as simply as possible how and why he thinks and acts the way he does.
Seeing how AOT is pretty renowned for leaving out the ‘insignificant’ details, especially character details, a good majority of my assertions and even details of his life are built off of correlations and “signs and symptoms”; meaning some things could be an aspect of Levi’s personality, or a symptom of psychopathology. 
 I will examine his childhood (especially his childhood), adolescence, young adulthood, and “present” adulthood, with a short summary at the end of where he might be mentally after the war.
*Lastly, I don’t like it when things I say about a series or character are taken as fact or make it implied that someone else’s thoughts are “wrong”. This is partly built on headcanons anyway, which are influenced by my own experiences. Don’t take away from this that this is me telling you what to think.*
Childhood
The most important period of development occurs in infancy and childhood, especially from the ages of 3-6. This is when a child learns where to find security, love, and basic skills, gaining stability as they develop.
Well, Kuchel died when Levi was 4.
Maternal Love / Learning Empathy / Anxious Attachment Style
Levi was born into deep poverty within a violent unwelcoming environment. Basic physical needs must have been very hard to meet (i.e., consistently fed enough, a clean environment, no physical threats). And where Levi was born is like the dictionary definition of a bad environment for a small child, excluding only his mother’s care and love.
As it’s generally understood in canon (and suggested from Levi’s special backstory manga so far) she was a caring parental figure early in Levi’s life that loved him unconditionally. We can conclude that Kuchel did everything within her power to compensate for both parenting Levi alone and shielding him the best she could from his horrible surroundings, teaching the kindness, goodness, and love that Levi would internalize and go on to strive for for his entire life. 
As far as we know, no other children lived in the brothel. Socialization is just as important for a young child as receiving love. With this isolation, it’s extremely difficult to learn how to connect to other people, or pick up on social cues. Levi would’ve never learned how to interact properly with his peers—aside from use of aggression and violence which Kenny would go on to instill in him.
With the danger/anxiety imposed by strangers, mostly if not entirely men, he would turn to his mother for comfort all. The. Time. 
And she would give him that support and affection of course. This early motherly affection is integral to child development: a child who receives empathy and affection is subliminally taught how to feel and express empathy towards others. 
While Levi’s surroundings were dangerous, lonely, and chaotic—traumatizing enough for a toddler or young child—Kuchel provided a safety net from that, so I think that Levi developed an anxious attachment as a child: exhibiting clinginess, excessive fear of abandonment, and an excessive need for security and/or reassurance.
Paternal Trauma / Potential Androphobia
Born and living in a brothel, we can assume that Levi was probably seen as a burden and a mistake by others, especially by men (both the likely majority of her customers and her boss).
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AOT ch69; Before the Fall, ch34
This is likely in contrast to the women (those living and working in the brothel like Kuchel). They should know Kuchel if not as friends, then acquaintances who could empathize for her and her son. 
There’s an obvious trend here. If Levi is going to feel fear/danger/anxiety because of men, he should have a general aversion to men and-or the behavior of men who he encountered as a child. This is impossible to know for sure or in meaningful detail, but it seemed to be resolved by the time he became an adult if so.
Although Kenny in his words was no more than Levi's teacher, Levi did see him as a father figure.
The subject of Kenny will be expanded on later, but it's clear Kenny in no way resembled a father, who also would go on to abandon Levi (at the age of 11 or so). Children without father figures tend to struggle more emotionally, psychologically, and socially. Specifically, (especially boys) tend to exhibit intimidating/aggressive personas to compensate for resentment, fear, and unhappiness. 
Sexual Trauma (Tangent, Probably)
This is unconfirmed but a likely trauma Levi went through: exposure to sex as a child. There’s no way to confirm what he experienced, so I’ll function on ‘probably’s’ and ‘most likely’s’. 
Because Levi and Kuchel only lived in one room, other rooms in the brothel should have belonged to other women, and he was at the oldest four, I wager that he was babysat by women who Kuchel knew and/or was made to hide somewhere while she worked, such as in a cabinet.
(for reference)
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AOT ch69
The odds are high that he was exposed to the aftermath of sexual violence (i.e., marks seen on his mother), and the sound or smells that have to do with it. That young, he wouldn’t know what it was, but he should have realized later as an adolescent.
In general, children regardless of gender exposed to sexual content usually experience early puberty (which is just as likely for impoverished children, or children who experience chronic high-stress in general); issues with intimacy; become desensitized to high-risk behavior; negative/inaccurate expectations about sex and relationships in the future; influence inappropriate behavior with other children or adults; sex addiction.
This is especially relevant to Levi’s fear of closeness/intimacy in the future. Exposure to sexual situations—possibly not including CSA in his case—very early in life inflicts on a child emotions and stress they don’t have the intellect or reasoning to process or understand. An extreme aversion to interpersonal relationships, especially physical ones, results.
This stress Levi must have felt, being powerless to this happening to his mother, is a different beast. Children aren’t capable of handling high levels of stress, and so the brain will automatically create coping mechanisms: dissociation (a severe form of “zoning out”; observing the self “from the third person”; numbness; the feeling of living in a dream), excessive daydreaming/overactive imagination, symptoms of PTSD (nightmares and terrors; flashbacks; spontaneous activation of fight-flight-freeze associated with anxiety; excessive worrying/fear; loneliness/self isolation). PTSD will also be prevalent in Levi’s later life, which I’ll delve into later.
Inappropriate behavior and sex addiction are also highlights for me because they shouldn’t exist in him based on Levi's personality and behavior throughout the series. In my opinion, Levi ought to associate sex with pain, shame, and violence; he does see it as an ordinary job—a means to an end. He should be desensitized to sex as a concept, but associates it personally with shame, sadness, and pain, possibly feeling disgust towards it. So it is highly likely that Levi in every stage of life following this experienced sexual repulsion (usually associated with high anxiety towards sex), a low libido, or a lack of sexual desire entirely. 
From a trauma perspective, he could avoid sexual topics of conversation, sexual settings (i.e., brothels), or an array of things which are sexually suggestive or he as a child possibly associated with sex (i.e., cleavage, panties, specific touch). Similarly, he might avoid direct reminders or have a post-traumatic reaction to them, such as anxiety or flashbacks (i.e., the sound of a bed creaking, the sight of wet clothes).
Importantly, it can be concluded that sexual violence was often exhibited, and the idea would be ingrained in him that sex, like everything else besides his relationship with his mother, is “give-and-take”, “victim-and-attacker”, and learn to be repulsed by intimacy. This impacts his willingness for later friendships and relationships as we’ll see later. 
Early Abandonment & Early Exposure to Death
As Kuchel’s health deteriorated, Levi’s sense of security would break down. Availability of shelter, food, and emotional support would be even less secure than before. He might have been providing for Kuchel for some time, even, as it can be gathered that he received little to no help from those around him while she was sick. To whatever length he had to take responsibility and both fear for Kuchel, this would cement a sense of responsibility and guilt in him from the age of just four years old.
He will fail to save her—regardless of the fact that that’s not his responsibility in the first place; a child wouldn’t understand that—and then lose her with nothing he could do to even cushion the blow.
How powerless he must’ve felt. How hopeless. How likely is it that Levi found comfort in joining her? A child his age wouldn’t be able to comprehend death, basing our understanding on Piaget’s theory of cognitive development. To summarize, at the age of six or seven, children aren’t capable of complex, abstract thought like death or the finality of it. But Levi had to learn early. 
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AOT ch69
This will be center in his “clean-freak” tendencies later.
Adolescence
Most of this section is going to be rather vague again, but we already got the bulk of that over with in childhood!
Emotional Train Wreck / Lack of Identity 
It’s hard to notice if you’re not paying attention, but in every scene we’re shown with Levi after his mother dies but before Kenny leaves, he’s wearing some variation of his mother’s one dress styled into a shirt. He loves her endlessly, even or especially in death. And part of cherishing her memory, to him, should’ve been taking after her as much as he could.
That’s how to explain why he didn’t become a cruel person (Kenny for instance) as he grew into a teenager, even though much of Levi’s outlook and behaviors come from him (ch57).
The more pertinent question is how extreme violence, reinforcement of the idea that that violence is power, and Kenny’s total (or most likely total) lack of communicated emotional connection affected him.
Levi would still desperately want that connection deep down, especially with his mother gone. This is a major reason why Levi sought to get stronger to please Kenny. For chronically abandoned people, that continues into adulthood and even beyond. A hole inside which can't be filled.
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AOT ch69
Chronic loneliness—like I explained before—basically explains his aloof nature and awkward disposition. It’s not that Levi feels as detached as he looks, but he doesn’t know how to express himself or open up. He wouldn’t learn how to process his emotions, let alone talk about them. He’s basically emotionally stunted and immature in impersonal relationships (between friends and especially in regards to intimacy).
The Underground’s environment also makes him socially awkward, rude, of course stoic/not very expressive, and blunt. Levi was forced to become extremely observant of people to suss out their intentions, remaining vigilant of his surroundings at all times.
Levi doesn’t even get affection in any sense anymore. He doesn’t get a hug or a pat on the back, and he certainly doesn’t get a shoulder to cry on.
If anything, Kenny would punish him for showing weakness. Vulnerability is weakness; weakness is death.
What results is a continuous and boundless sense of emptiness inside that can’t be filled. He’s plagued by a chronic sense of unbelonging and loneliness. There’s no time or opportunity to develop “normally” as an adolescent. Socialization is limited at best; thinking of his place in the world is irrelevant when his one and only most pressing goal is survival; he doesn’t get to explore hobbies or interests.
OCD Propensity
One “interest” Levi is passionate about is cleaning, at least. Disease is what caused his mother to die. The easiest cause to point to would be their disgusting surroundings (although, Kuchel was infected by a customer). It is canon that Levi’s love of cleaning comes from "his personal experiences". In that interview, Levi first specifically references the important of fighting disease.
In other words, his "clean freak" nature comes, primarily, from the death of his mother: Filth -> disease -> death, and abandonment by extension.
His mother would’ve encouraged him to keep their room clean. There were times he or she had to have come down with something and dirtiness was the cause. On top of Kenny’s enforcement to keep up “clean” appearances to garner respect from everyone else in the Underground. 
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This in particular is extremely relevant to his mental health. When someone feels out of control of what is happening to them, especially in a recurring way, and especially as a child who doesn't yet know how to feel stable in an unstable environment, they look for something to control. It can be weight, bodily functions (blinking, breathing, etc), dominance over others, or cleaning, for instance.
Fear of disease, the urgent need to have control, and the basic need for stability makes it obvious that Levi would become obsessed with cleaning. And moreover, developing OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I’ll go deeper into this diagnosis later.
Lack of Self Worth
Despite the acknowledgment throughout canon that he trusts in his own strength, it wasn’t always that way.
Canonically, Levi sought praise from Kenny by showing his strength because that was the only thing he received praise for. The conclusion Levi came to once Kenny left him was that he wasn’t strong enough (wasn’t good enough) to warrant staying with him.
In conjunction, Levi’s first conclusion was that he did something wrong, not that Kenny possibly had some obligation that forced him to leave the Underground, pointing again to his own lack of self-worth.
This scenario created a complex in him, the very root cause of Levi’s pain, the very foundation of what Levi would go on to prioritize in adulthood. If he isn’t useful to those he wants not to abandon him, he’s worthless. He’s only useful when he shows his strength. Every other aspect of him like his interests is either irrelevant or bland by default in his eyes.
He would go on to make it his mission to try his best to be good enough in order to save and protect the lives of others, but foremost those he cares about.
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Young Adulthood
Our first exposure to Levi as an adult is in A Choice with No Regrets, his OVA/backstory.
(By the way, I’ll be basing this analysis off a mix of the manga and the OVA.)
Emotional Immaturity/Affective Dysregulation
Generally, Levi’s defining negative character trait as a young adult is his emotional immaturity/anti-social behavior. Yes he’s grumpy and rude which is always indicative of him, but he’s very quick to anger, too. He cursed at the Squad Leader who offended him (by assuming that because he, Isabel, and Farlan are from the Underground, they’d be dirty), and argued furiously with Farlan that he would kill Erwin—not because it was required for the job, but because he disrespected him—for a few examples. 
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ACWNR ch2
He tended to be arrogant, too. Such as when he ultimately called a Scout who had experience with the Titans stupid for telling Levi to hold his swords in a certain way. He spoke to every officer the same as he would anyone on the street, having a remarkable lack of basic respect for authority. He was insistent on distancing himself from the entire setting and structure of the Scouts as much as possible, both to not get attached, and he found their mission childish/foolish. 
He’s rather selfish. There is nothing Levi cares about genuinely more than Isabel’s and Farlan’s lives and the job that will set them up with a good future. Farlan’s advice is the only one’s he takes and the only judgment outside himself that he considers, such as when Farlan asks him to not cause trouble with authority to keep a low profile, but even then he acts stubborn. Levi trusts nobody wholeheartedly except himself (until later in ACWNR).
There’s a cognitive dissonance in him. Growing up, and still as a young adult, Levi’s headspace is marked by fear and uncertainty, with his power as his source of confidence. The first time he kills a Titan (with Isabel and Farlan), he uses too much gas because he refuses to potentially risk his friends’ lives; when the expedition is upcoming, he abruptly tells Farlan and Isabel to find a reason to stay back, and that he’ll complete the dangerous part of the job on his own. 
Levi is full of repressed fear and uncertainty. He hides and/or buries all of it for the sake of self-preservation both emotionally and physically.
Antisocial Personality…?
It’s extremely interesting how a character as selfless, heroic, and empathetic as Levi exhibits antisocial symptoms. I’d even argue that if his childhood was spent entirely without his mother figure, then he might be a dictionary definition of ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder).
People with this disorder live day-to-day under the constant assumption that whoever is around them is “out to get them”/searching for a weakness to exploit. Humanity is made up of only prey and predators; morals are completely subjective, perpetuated by the society that surrounds them. This constant need to defend oneself, the effect of the exact trauma the potential sociopath experienced, combined with a muted emotional spectrum, results in a complete disregard of everything, including people outside of themself. They might believe they’re entitled to comfort or admiration, but overall, they’re intensely self-serving, often aggressive, and ruthless. 
Because Levi for instance learned to rely on violence both for “love” and survival, then he might fall on violence to manipulate a person or situation into serving himself. I see reason to believe that Levi could have grown into worse than Kenny’s image if it weren’t for his mother’s influence.
However, the greatest cause for deniability is Levi’s wide emotional spectrum (especially including empathy and shame), while a lack of shame is the most significant marker of ASPD . (It is arguably one of many testaments to his strength that a victim of so much suffering, violence, and cruelty could become a man as empathetic as him.) 
However, these tendencies may still be relevant: A sense of arrogance—both to the way Levi thinks of some who he perceives as weak and live without good morals—lacking issue with using deceit or violence to attain a goal, and living outside the rule of authority.
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I go into more detail about this idea here.
Conclusion
As is true in general, there’s very little to say of mental development once someone has reached their early–mid-twenties. What we know of Levi’s young adulthood does reinforce his fear of abandonment, but he finds a cause where his strength and compassion can be “put to good use” and give to him a life that is worth living.
Conclusion: the ‘Present’/Diagnoses Overview
C-PTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)
Levi’s emotional dysregulation (i.e., inability to sit with and process negative emotions), his difficulties in relationships, insomnia, negative worldview, absent sense of self, and finally, his persistent sense of unworthiness/worthlessness are all indicative of C-PTSD. It’s distinct from PTSD in that he didn’t endure one short-term traumatizing event, but he grew up surrounded by trauma and saw it as normal (e.g., gang violence, extreme poverty, death of a parent, (more presumably) physically and emotionally abusive parental figure). Levi as a child developed no understanding of a nurturing, secure environment. 
Negative/Absent Sense of Self
I’ve talked about this at length already, but it’s worth noting how Levi’s perception of himself must have changed when it was revealed that he is extremely strong physically not from his own efforts as much, but because he’s an Ackerman. 
His self-confidence and self-worth have always been built on the foundation of his strength. He’s useful if he’s strong, so he’s worthy if he’s strong. Along with the extreme high pressure his goal to kill Zeke put on him in season four, he might have gone to extreme measures to compensate for his strength he might have felt was “unearned” (such as excessive exercise for example). This is an aside, but it was a blow to him for sure.
Emotional Dysregulation
The causes of emotional dysregulation generally which he experienced are as follows: early childhood trauma, feelings ignored, judged, or invalidated at a young age, and physical and emotional child neglect. Beyond his first four years of life with his mother, Levi experienced all these things (early exposure to sex and likely exposure to domestic violence aside). 
It’s important to focus on emotional neglect specifically, when any and all perceived “weakness”, no matter how small, is unacceptable to Levi. He will never ask for help (being independent to a fault), he can’t define or process his emotions, and it doesn’t occur to him—and it could be a shock—when he learns that his friends care about him, not him insofar as how useful he is. 
As an adult, Levi appears to be emotionally mature, but I argue that this isn’t the case. It’s more accurate to say that he has better control over his emotions (in that he buries them or ignores them) with a mature outlook because of all his experiences with suffering.
Similarly, he’s not outwardly emotional not because he’s antisocial (as related to ASPD, not introversion), but because he’s so “emotionally constipated” that he’s numbed the vast majority of the time.
Relationship Issues + Fear of Abandonment
Because of his fear of abandonment and impaired emotional intelligence in close relational conflict, he’s extremely passive and/or passive aggressive. In order to avoid potential abandonment, he doesn’t go out of his way to win major arguments—such as threatening to break Erwin’s legs if he didn’t stay away from the expedition in season three, but ultimately giving in. He’s also more likely to sneak petty insults into arguments, give “silent treatment”, slam doors, etc. His kindness and exceptional empathy shouldn’t let him be physically or overly violent.
These are likely additions to why Levi doesn’t foster many close relationships.
Fittingly, as a child I thought that Levi might have had an anxious attachment style (clingy, excessive need for security), but as this possibility for security was removed entirely, and he was taught to not rely on others, he would develop more of an overt avoidant attachment in adulthood in combination (fearful-avoidant): making very few emotional demands—even though he has needs—withdrawing when there’s conflict, acting aloof yet fearing abandonment, having difficulty expressing emotions he feels intensely, and fear of depending on someone else.
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Anxiety
His cool-headedness even in the heat of battle/war (other factors like experience aside) is exactly what you would expect from someone diagnosed with C-PTSD; he’s accustomed to chronic high-stress. But small stressors (i.e., a change of plans) are overwhelming and make him quick to anger/excessive annoyance.
OCD
Emotional dysregulation is also closely associated with OCD.
OCD is much much more than being concerned with keeping clean or organized. OCD is an anxiety disorder composed of anxiety-related obsessions and compulsions, such as frequent and disturbing thoughts or images (intrusive thoughts). These attempt to be managed through rituals (i.e., handwashing, counting in patterns). Although symptoms will fluctuate with anxiety, OCD at its baseline is a distressing disorder.
Since he was young, Levi should have had an incessant need to be in control at all times. A shining example of this is his mother’s death, an incident he couldn’t control but included dirtiness/disease as a cause he could pinpoint, so this anxiety with dirtiness becomes a major obsession, and the compulsion is cleaning. (Putting aside the fact that Levi enjoys cleaning by itself too.)
It’s a widely-held belief that if Levi has OCD, it’s contamination OCD, as it specifically has to do with an obsession with dirtiness and a compulsion in cleaning (i.e., damaging handwashing, ritualized bathing that may take hours). However, based on the multitude of times Levi was covered in blood and remained unbothered by it (Titan and human), and in fact the obsession’s lack of relevance entirely during urgent missions/situations, contamination OCD is simply not plausible. Instead, it’s general OCD.
There’s no way to know for sure, but I don’t see his OCD as mild or severe. Levi is an extremely orderly and balanced person, so it can be concluded he must have things done a certain way, routinely, organizational, or planned; when the dirtiness is “negative” (i.e., Titan blood, blood on a knife he used to kill Isabel’s attackers), he is never more rigid with cleanliness; it’s probable he suffers intrusive thoughts (likely of the violent nature), a fear of contamination, and/or counting ritualistically, but the most obvious compulsion is cleaning. He might have sensory issues, such as disgust if he happens to brush shoulders with a stranger; aversion to particularly bright lights, irrational rage towards “mouth sounds” (i.e., chewing, coughing, swallowing), etc.
EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified)
Levi should have a complicated relationship with food to say the least. 
In the realm of eating disorders, EDNOS is sort of a catch-all term when an individual doesn’t qualify for the diagnostic criteria of anorexia or bulimia, and it encompasses lesser-known eating disorders like Pica. It’s the most common diagnosis for clinical eating disorders.
I already covered how integral the early years of life are, and beginning at a young age, if children aren’t given a basic need like food, and they must seek out food on their own, it becomes an anxiety deeply rooted in the brain regardless of how well-fed they are when they’re older. There will always be an urge to have food available. Levi’s years in the Underground were spent either actively starving, or going about every single day having acquiring food as top priority. He was a young adult when he left, so it’s impossible to unlearn this (without extensive therapy, which Levi doesn’t seek). It’s similar to compulsions found in OCD: even though he logically knows that there will be a dinner after lunch, it’s impossible to put aside this worry. 
That may mean always having food stashed, eating too much—especially in his early years Aboveground when he’d eat as much food in a day than he’d eat in a week Underground— stealing food, or eating way too quickly (as someone who lived in a place where food was considered something of a luxury resource and threatened being stolen at any time).
The latter factor contributes to Levi’s suggested preference to only eat alone—joining the fact that Levi only eats with Erwin after expeditions. Eating in front of others should be considered a weakness to him.
As time passes with this easy access to food, combined with his extremely narrow sense of what makes him “good enough”, his relationship with eating may become toxic. Especially when the stakes of his worthiness are so high—literally life and death. He may think that he’s privileged to eat at all, and when he feels worthless, he restricts himself from that “privilege”. 
He may be so accustomed to the feeling of hunger, that it doesn’t immediately register with his mind when he is hungry.
Lastly, he may have a generally low appetite. This is often associated with depression, but depression is comorbid with C-PTSD.
Misc.
Some tangents/miscellaneous speculation about Levi��s psychology:
Queer?
Sexuality is formed and shifts due to a wide variety of factors, which most if not all are terribly understudied: genetics, hormones, and your environment/experiences. So again, my speculation.
With his fear of close relationships and negative experiences with sex, I think he should land somewhere on the queer spectrum, specifically under the asexual or aromantic umbrella (i.e., pansexuality/being panromantic (attraction to personality) and demisexuality/being demiromantic (attraction only to those he has an emotional connection to)).
MDD
The odds of Levi having MDD (major depressive disorder/clinical depression) are iffy. Most if not all of the symptoms are comorbid with childhood trauma and C-PTSD: Such as persistent apathy, guilt, and/or discontent; sleeping too much or too little; lack of energy; reduced or heightened appetite; irritability. 
Oftentimes, depression, C-/PTSD, and related mental illnesses cause unexplained physical pain, such as back pain and occasional tension headaches. “Stress hormones” like adrenaline are built-up in the body, and usually persist without physical therapy and-or medication (Disclaimer this mention is based on nothing more than Levi always standing with at least one hand on his hip).
Body Language
Similar can be said of his body language from a cognitive perspective. The vast majority of the time, Levi has himself closed-off in some way, usually by crossing his arms to protect his chest; a subconscious barrier between oneself and another person.
Also see this official art of Levi asleep.
Afterword
We’ve known it’s not just Levi’s physical strength and skill that makes him the strongest, right? It should take immense mental strength to make it day-by-day dealing with the trauma and issues that he does, but not only has he survived and continues to, but he lives heroically, selflessly, with the wellbeing of everyone around him as a top priority. He buries all of his pain by moving forward always and without exception regardless of how painful the present is. Living with “no regrets” should in mental respects be a guise for pushing his trauma down, too; there’s just no words that can properly do Levi’s resilience justice.
Part of me wants to go into detail about his later adulthood, but given how very little we know (right now), I think it’d be too speculative.
However, based on what we have seen at the ending of AOT, it’s comforting to know and plain to see that Levi wasn’t defeated when he “lost” the reason to be so strong, and even his strength itself; he didn’t lose his love for his friends nor of life. 
In middle age, based on Erikson’s psychosocial stages, the conflict that should enter Levi’s life is the idea of generativity versus stagnation. He seems satisfied with his life despite the negative effects of all he went through—grief, physical disability, inevitable mental scarring—and he’s still concerned with helping others, especially the younger generation in a world after the overwhelming devastation that was the Rumbling.
My speculated psychopathologies/diagnoses of Levi:
C-PTSD (insomnia prevalent)
OCD (contamination obsessions)
EDNOS
287 notes · View notes
thepenguinwriter · 9 months ago
Note
Adam x Lute x reader headcanons?
Adam ☆ Lute ☆ Opposites attract
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Includes; gn!angel!reader, polyamorous relationship, romantic relationship, mentions of trust issues, Adam and Lute shenanigans
- ☆ You knew Adam and Lute quite well, as a higher ranking angel in Heaven
- ☆ The three of you hung out around each other a lot
- ☆ This usually meant Adam taking you and Lute to his concerts, or just you three shit-talking others
- ☆ And being so close to them, you know very well that both Adam and Lute are stubborn freaks
- ☆ It wasn't clear who developed feelings first because none of you showed ANY signs
- ☆ After a while you couldn't take it anymore and you had to confess to both of them
- ☆ They took it... surprisingly well for themselves
"Uh, yeah, duh! Me and dangertits are awesome, why wouldn't you love us?"
"Sir, I think they meant love.. in the romantic way."
"Ohhhh! You wanna date both of us?"
- ☆ Adam figured it out surprisingly quickly!
- ☆ It took a bit for Lute to be comfortable about the idea, but eventually she agreed
- ☆ Dating both of them at the same time can be a bit.. exhausting
- ☆ And not because you don't love them, no, you do
- ☆ But their love language and experience is SO different
- ☆ On one hand, you have a touchy ass Adam who's already lost 2 WIVES to the SAME GUY
- ☆ He's gonna have some baaad trust issues at first
- ☆ He just doesn't want you to leave him like literally every romantic partner he's had so far
- ☆ On the other, you have Lute, who has ZERO experience with romance
- ☆ She's meant to kill, not love!
- ☆ Yet here she is
- ☆ It takes time for her to adjust to the relationship
- ☆ Her love language is most likely acts of service
- ☆ She never tells you or Adam that she loves you directly
- ☆ What she WILL do is leave you a cup of coffee in the morning when she's not there, or help you preen your wings
- ☆ The ultimate chaos ensues when you three are all together
- ☆ Doesn't matter what you're doing, it WILL end in Adam finding any excuse to kiss both of you
- ☆ Man needs your attention 24/7
- ☆ Lute is always more quiet, but you can tell by the faint smile on her face whenever she's around you that she enjoys being with you and Adam
- ☆ And whenever the three of you are home, cuddling in bed, you feel so lucky to have two vastly different angels at your side.
A/N: Thank youu for requesting anon! Since I'm personally not poly I hope I captured this relationship well 😅 yall are suckers for more Adam content and honestly me too. But I'd love to write more for Lute too, she's so interesting!
194 notes · View notes
leighcest · 18 days ago
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happy twenty years of saw! unfortunately i'm a loser and have too much free time so i read the entire script (and watched the movie twice!) so here's every note i took for the script and ending of the movie:). this is super messy and incoherent but i had fun, and i hope you will too! happy 20 years saw<3.
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TW FOR: everything in the first saw movie! gore! mentions of self harm and suicide! drugs! spoilers! mindless rambles! me being incorrect and stupid! absolutely no proper grammar!
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Might be reading too deep into this, but half of Leigh’s body being out of water is so funny to me because like, I think if it was on purpose it was probably to try and make him look bigger or like taller???? Like.. LMFAO.
Also this is the movie not the script but I love the angle that we see Leigh in while he’s submerged in water its so fucking good omfg. totally worth him drowning for a few minutes.
“Jesus christ!”
Adam’s first line being a swear is a good way to show he’s juvenile, immature, etc. 
“There is a faint noise. It’s close. In the room.” 
Hey so this is petrifying. 
“A second voice slices through the blackness”
Leigh’s imagery in every. single. script. is genuinely so wonderfully breathtaking. Even if I had never seen this movie before I could imagine it in my head (which says a lot considering I have aphantasia) 
“I don’t know, yet.” 
This line is so interesting to me. It’s not Lawrence just tossing his words around being like ‘ohhh i dont know’ its him being logical and saying ‘i don't know yet’. It sets the tone for his character to set him up as this sensible rational thinker of a character. Similar to how he’s described as a ‘older’ or more mature character.
“The man begins whispering to himself; primal, childlike”
Immediately after this line, Adam whispers prayers to himself. He’s so young. So fragile. I wish we got to see more. So fragile, and yet still learning. So is Lawrence in a way. I think it’s symbolic. (This next part is purely headcanon, feel free to skip). They represent each other in a way I suppose. Adam who’s outward about himself (more on that later) but doesn’t have his shit together. Lawrence who’s always had his shit together, but couldn’t ever be himself. It’s the yin and yang I guess.
“The older man (46) … The other man, (25)”.
They have a 21 year age gap. By the time Lawrence had taken his first legal shot, Adam was opening his eyes for the first time. Also I’d like to note that Adam is 25. His brain just developed. (Pushing that ftm agenda!). He. is. still. learning. Him and Daniel and Diana and every other young victim were still learning. I am fully on board with the ‘Adam is NOT a good person’ train but also the fandom (from my experience) will also treat him like a super shit person too. Anyways, 21 years. That’s crazy. I feel like that pushes the feeling that Adam and Lawrence are supposed to be these polar opposite's but, honestly, this just reinforces how similar they are in their core. anyways, yeah.
“Lawrence kneels down for a better look at the corpse” + “He vomits.”
The difference between their characters is shown well through their reactions. Lawrence tries to figure more out and Adam fucking throws up LMFAO. Anyways. yeah.
“Despite himself, Lawrence’s stern, even tone has the effect of settling Adam a little bit.”
THEM. Chainshipping please save us. They could have had a life UGH. anyways. This line means so much to me you guys don’t get it.
“What about you, huh!?” + “What?”
When Adam is being questioned at the beginning his voice is soft and afraid before getting defensive.
(All of Adam’s first flashback)
NEVER FORGET WHAT THEY TOOK FROM US. NEVER EVER FORGET WHAT WE COULD HAVE GOTTEN. However, I do think the lack of any other real information about Adam is a very strong storytelling device whether intentional or not. He is not a character. He is a plot device. In the final movie, he has one flashback that is purely there to further the plot, specifically about Lawrence. We don’t learn a whole lot about Adam except why he was put in Lawrence’s trap. 
“Adam mouths the words ‘little shithead’ along with the irate neighbor– this is clearly a well worn routine.” 
Leigh. I know it’s been twenty years. PLEASE MAKE THIS SCENE COME TO LIFE I’M ACTUALLY ON MY KNEES BEGGING. I need this flashback so bad i am going to put myself in the rbt. anyways. this bit is so endearing it just kinda makes me giggle:3.
“He ‘shoots’ the cop with his fingers.”
PROGRESSIVE ADAM!
“The door opens again, Adam emerging with a carton of milk.”
Everyone always talks about how he’s feeding a stray cat, and like, yeah, that's surface level. But. like. that was probably the last of his food.
“What a lovely, non-judgemental animal you are.”
I like to think that Adam became a stalking photographer because of the fact he never fitted in anyways. Like yeah, he’s not a good person, but why? Why does he want to kill himself? Why doesn’t his family talk to him? I have so many questions. I need to know more about him. Also. You lovely, lonely thing. (/ref) OK KMS I’M DONE.
“Lawrence studies his face, needs more.”
Me too man, me too. Anyways lets play a game of is this romantic or is Juno reading too much into this and needs to go to bed and log off of ao3?
“Lawrence reaches the BMW” 
sorry i just hate how much of a soccer mom he is, continue. 
“‘Lift up your sleeves.’ Adam does.”
scars lining his wrists. that's it. that's the note.
“Can you see any scars??”
Yeah bitch your top surgery ones (sorry)
“Yeah well, how do you know I’m not in terrible agony?”
sassy ass man jesus christ
“It’s the only object in the room not incrusted in mould”
Leigh spells mold the aussie/british way and that made me laugh.
“Adam sits on the floor, unbuckling his jeans and yanking them down.”
WHAT???? I do not remember this scene! Anyways, (cough) slut (cough)
“It’s a tape. It says play me for the rules.”
No it doesn’t, it says ‘play me’, liar.
“High pitched and cheerful.”
THAT WAS JIGSAW'S VOICE? dude if billy was the one doing the tapes i literally never would have watched this out of fear.
(All of Lawrence/Adam’s tape.) 
Lawrence’s tape was twelve compound/complex sentences. Adam’s was four simple sentences. Adam is not a character. This is not his trap. He is a pawn, a part, a witness, a victim. He is not a character.
 “Just shit.”
LMFAO
“Why thank you for that information, Zep.”
Lawrence seems to be a lot nicer in this script to Zep than in the movie. Deserved.
“David Tapp (40) and Steven Sing (28, Asian)”
why is sing the only character who’s race had been decided …???? what... is this cuz of his like one off chinese food joke
“Are they always chained up with you?”
You wish.
“Hear that? That’s the sound of my marriage going down the drain.”
SING NOOOO </3. He had a family n shit:(. Cries
“She’s one of the nurses at my hospital. Couldn’t tell you her name.” + “Her name is Amanda Denlon.”
MANDY!!!!!! I’m not sure wether I’d prefer this nurse version of mandy (and possibly drug addict lynn in 3?) or the way it is now. I don’t care. I love her.
“It speaks with a voice we have come to known as Jigsaw’s.”
I love this line so much it’s just so. GAH! Idk :3.
“Hard to complain when your mouth isn’t open, isn't it?”
This is so. God. Jesus Christ. I don’t even know. Sad, gut-wrenching, sickening. I love you Mandy you do NOT deserve this !!!!
“Like a bear trap.”
I find it kinda like full-circle-ish that one of the most famous horror scenes ever is Mandy’s reverse bear trap scene that Leigh wrote and then starred in a movie four years later where one of the main characters dies from a bear trap to the neck. (dying breed)
“I’m alive.”
I know Leigh said he and James never planned for sequels, but Amanda’s character was so perfectly set up as an apprentice. I don’t know. It’s amazing. I love this movie.
“Adam looks like a frightened child.”
Let’s separate this. Like a frightened child. Again, immature, unsure Adam. Adam looks. Voyuerer. 
“Can you hear me in there, you dirty fuck? You haven’t worried me in the slightest! I’m having the time of my life!” 
Guess this Adam hasn’t had a lot of fun with lube.
“Fuck thinking. Don’t you wanna scream?” 
Me
“‘You’re not gonna leave us, are you Daddy?’ This one stumps him.”
STOP. I simply cannot do this right now.
“I was an only child. Always wanted a brother or sister.”
I wholeheartedly think he only wanted an older sibling to protect him from his parents abuse or so that someone other than him would get the blame. Adam would hate himself for it, but, you know.
“I remember I wanted to be a vet. I really, really wanted to be a vet.” 
I know everyone and their mother talks about this line, but I’ve literally stayed up SOBBING because of it. It means so much to me, maybe because I can kinda relate to it in a sense, maybe because Adam Radford-Faulkner-Stanheight is a stupid nerd who is too relatable for his own good. Who knows.
“Gagged like animals.”
Okay. So. I can’t do this.
“I don’t like being watched.”
Ironic.
“Too messy. We don’t have to water these.”
HE’S SUCH A BAD FUCKING PARTNER WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT THIS???? Like i have genuinely never seen any toxic!lawrence rep and i’m SICK OF IT. DO U HEAR ME. SICK.
“The figure rifles through a chest of drawers, in one of them, woman’s underwear.” 
Ew. Fuck you Zep.
“The sewer lines run under this neighborhood too, doctor.”
I love this line more than anyone will get. Ever.
“Give me the address.”
Sing is such a real one bro shout out to him. He has a wife and kids waiting for him to get home and he does ts. Shoutout!
“What’s more important to you, Tapp? Arresting the great Jigsaw or saving a life?”
Narcissistic much? You know, I could put you in a trap for that, John.
“Your eyes aren’t lazy anymore. They don’t glaze over things.”
HOW DOES LEIGH THINK OF THIS SHIT??? Fire ass banger lines nonstop.
“Adam chews his nails, eyes glued to the cigarette. ‘I don’t care, I really don’t, I need one’.”
It’s giving ‘i can quit when I want to!’
“May I please have one, doctor?”
Lawrence straight as hell I woulda gone crazy.
“He holds the treasure chest in his hands. Drills Adam.” 
That sounds like something out of a porno.
“I… I couldn’t. I’m sorry.”
Again. Half movie, half script, but FUCK ME leigh’s american accent is kinda crumbling when he says this so it’s just this pathetic whimper and it’s guilty and it’s just so. Fuck man, I don’t even know. God bless America.
“Why did you want to die?” + “Yeah well, I’m alive AND I’m nothing.”
This dialogue is so devastating I wish I could have included it all. I know I’ve already said it before but I need so bad to have Adam’s lore expanded on. I need it so bad.
this film has way too many flashbacks god DAMN 
“Adam still seems unsure of how to play along with his scheme.”
He’s so stupid I love him.
“Get this thing off me! Get it off!”
Me when I’m overstimulated
“I’m ending this right now, give me that hacksaw.”
Hello if I was Adam i’d be PETRIFIED.
“Dark, cramped, Messy. The walls are covered in protest flyers and band posters. A large portrait of Che Guevera takes up one wall.”
I fw the imagery because I feel like I can smell his apartment. That’s a bad thing, I think. Not too sure now, ask me tomorrow.
“Your father’s not angry anymore. We just want to know if you’re alright.”
We just want to know if you’re alright. Fuck you, Leigh Whannell.
I really like the red room scene in the movie because there's no other noise. It’s quiet. Quiet enough you can hear Leigh’s breathing and creaky floorboards. It’s so contrasted from the rest of the film’s eeriness and it lulls you into this sense of false security. I don’t know. I like it.
“He writes himself a note – Call Mom. Looks at it, and adds a question mark – Call Mom?”
And if I start crying 🤗??
“It looks a lot like Lawrence.”
Wonder why.
“Lighting up a messy but empty bedroom.”
I’d like to note how everything we’ve learned about Adam’s decor choice is shit you can get for free/cheap. Posters that you can print for 80 cents, protest flyers that you can steal off a bulletin board, a cheap flee market painting, nothing at all. Also what is with Adam and Cuba??? 😭
“Where were you last night, Daddy?”
MY BABY. MY POOR BABY. SHE WAS WAITING FOR HIM TO COME AND SAVE HIM. I CANT DO THIS ANYMOREEEEY7WHFIUUWOEFHWJD.
“What did you do in that hotel room? You got outta there pretty fast.”
Adam defo believes he’s an old man one pump chump LMFAOOOO.
“7 am– gym. 9 am– breakfast, one glass of grapejuice. 10 pm– see carla.”
Lawrence Gordon does not go to the gym but okay, second. One glass of grapejuice? Grapejuice????? 10PM SEE CARLA??? Me when I write my affair in my daily planner.
STOP IT WITH THE FLASHBACKS. THIS IS SO CONFUSING.
“You’re not a victim of this game, you’re a part of it.”
Well, yes.
“He’s a gutter feeder.”
LMFAO
“‘I did not..’ he can’t bring himself to say it.”
OHHHHHH i love guilt in media cuz fuck i’m crying now.
“You get that rope off her, now or you’re dead!”
Ally. Sweetheart , love of my life, you fucking idiot why would you do that.
“Lawrence! Please, get up! I need you to get us out of here! I need you!”
Ok gayass. Anyways, this scene is so sad:(.
“Don’t you think I wanna live too, Lawrence? I have a family. I don’t see them, that’s my mistake … it’s a mistake I’d like to fix!”
AND IF I END IT ALL THEN WHAT 🤣🤣🤣!!!! THEN WHAT!!! 🤣🤣🤣. Guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt I love guilt.
Page 89 reads like a novel. I like that. Even if I don’t like this scene, I like it.
“Lawrence wails gibberish. Adam’s pleads can barely be heard over the din.”
oh i’m ill i’m sick i’m so sick i cant plz stop it save me. CHAINSHIPPING IF YO UCAN HEAR THIS PLEASE SAVE US!!
“It doesn’t matter how far down this pit we seem, there is always hope! You told me that!”
ANDDDD IF I START CRYING??? Leigh Whannell when i catch u it is OVER FOR U .
“You wanna chain people up, you sick fuck? You’ll die with your own chain!”
Shit someone let this guy become a poet.
“Get this thing off my foot!” 
cut it off <3 !
“Am I gonna be okay?” + “I wouldn’t lie to you.”
goodnight. GOODNIGHT.
“Unable to believe what he is hearing, Adam turns around and tremors in utter shock.”
Leigh did a fire job of this because I know exactly what he means when I read this and know exactly what he’s doing when I watch it.
“He pushes a needle into his forearm.” 
Ok mandy..
ALSO i love how john and adam are matching shirts theyre so silly.
“This is truly Jigsaw.”
CHILLS.
“I’m surprised by you, Adam. The pawn has done what the knight couldn’t. You’ve murdered and innocent man.”
Fuck me. jesus harold christ because WHAT. freak you leigh whannell you absolute opp. HE IS A PAWN GUYS IT LITERALLT SAID. rip adam you would have loved when the pawn… Also why wasn't this in the movie it totally should have been. anyways, this is my favorite line in the script i think.
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(movie ending breakdown from a month ago):
Larry cupping Adam's cheek
Adam leaning into to the touch
Grabbing the hand that cupped his cheek
Larry stopping the toilet seat smashing again because Adam was hurting himself
The bloody handprint of Adam's cheek post-Larry leaving
Adam's face slightly softening when Diana calls Larry for the first time
"you know who i am☹️"
Larry flinching when Adam smashed zep's head
Larry strokes Adam's cheek with his thumb while cupping it
Larry looking in Adam's eyes and tensing when he looked down at his wound
Adam flicking his eyes between Larry's leg and face when he says "are we gonna be okay?" More asking if Larry would be okay
Larry using all his strength to reassure Adam
Adam not being able to look into Larry's eyes when he's lying
Larry not able to look his secretary in her eyes when they're ab to hook up
Larry being electrocuted while Zepp is in a car driving (hinting to jigsaw not being Zepp)
"I need you!" Leigh said Adam was having the darkest part of his life, and I think this line and Leigh's delivery just really shows that perfectly
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I can’t believe this movie is twenty years old because it’s so timeless. It’s such an important movie to me and means a lot. I don’t know what to say because I’m constantly pouring my heart out about how much this movie means. It’s just. I don’t know. I’m not very good with words (can you tell?). It’s just amazing. I’m sure everyone will say that, because it's true. For how much shit I give them, the community is so amazing and I've met so many amazing people and made so many wonderful friends thanks to this movie. Yeah. thanks for reading:). anyways. Hope you liked this mess, cause i did! likes + reblogs are appriciated 💓
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thequietkid-moonie · 1 year ago
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Sweet and hopless romantic crush has no lucky in love
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[ HEADCANONS ] [ Nagisa, Mob, Hitohito, Gojo, Nier, Emil ]
[ Assassination Classroom ] [ Mob Psycho 100 ] [ Komi can't communicate ] [ My Dress-Up Darling ] [ NieR Replicant ]
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× Inspired on Mitsuri (from Demon Slayer)
Can you do me a favor and read this while hearing this song? I just can't stop hearing it!! 😩😩 I heard it while writing this!!
I had read some fics with Mitsuri reader before and almost NO ONE talk about this side of her (even when she is the love pilar 💀), so i decided to do it myself!!
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Nagisa Shiota
Being in Class 3-E isn't easy for anyone and yet you always have a cheerful attitude that makes you highlight, once Koro-sensei came to the class and everyone started to get happier they just start to match more your energy (and you become pretty popular in the classroom)
It isn't strange for Nagisa to develop a little crush on you but as you two grow closer his feelings for you slowly grows and yet it take him a long time to notice his feelings for you (is more probably that Karma his closest friends are the ones who notice it)
As Nagisa grows closer to you he finds the pleasant surprised of you sweet and cheerful personality, something that slowly start to bright his days and help him forget about his worries and problems (sometimes because of your sweetness, other times for amusment of your personality)
Most of them doesn't really talks about their plans for the future since most of them had lost hope for being in Class 3-E (Nagisa isn't the exception, specially for his mother's plan), so it should be you who bring up the topic about you having a dream, otherwise he will never get to know unless he over hears it, in any case getting to know that your dream is to get married is something that surprise him a lot, he has never thought on something like that but you seem so motivated by it that he can't help to laugh a little, he apologize clarifying that is just amusment
It would take him a while to get used to your sweet and affectionate side because he isn't used to it, Nagisa is more used to be ignore or bothered by others, even more used to deal with the pressure his mother put on him but someone who just accept him as he is is pretty new to him, and being clingy and/or affectionate flustered him (more than it should, since is from someone he likes is even more flustering)
He finds pretty amusing and hilarious your hability to find something good and/or atractive on everyone, he can't help but laugh a little anytime you start to give compliments (or just say it to yourself) about all your classmates, Nagisa doesn't really feel jealous or insecure, or at least not at the moment is later when being alone when he start to think about it and start to feel a little down about it, since he doesn't see anything special on himself he think that you probably won't see anything special on him neither
When you do compliment him Nagisa is completely surprised by it, he doesn't expect it nor force you to say anything about him, at first he is surprised but he quickly change to be flustered and yet he says that you don't have to say anything and that it isn't a big deal because he doesn't fully believe the compliment, the more you insist with your sweet and lovely voice the more flustered he is, so at the end he just shyly accept it in hopes that you stop (that not always work). As well, even if you don't give him a compliment Karma will ask you directly what do you think about Nagisa just to tease him (because he knows about his crush)
Nagisa finds suprising your bad luck in love, for how sweet, lovingly and enthusiastic are with dating someone he doesn't see how you can have such bad past experiences, he doesn't know what to say so he just resort to comfort you by telling you how amazing you are in his eyes and wish you luck to find someone who truly loves you (since he is speaking from his heart he probably make a little obvious his feelings)
Even when he does notice and accept his feeling for you Nagisa won't do much about it, he doesn't want to force his feelings on you and he doesn't think you will see him that way anyway (specially for how sweet and popular you are), so is more probably that is his and yours friends (along with Koro-sensei) who will be pushing each other closer
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Shigeo Kageyama
Mob is more used to be alone, despite his powers he isn't someone how stand out a lot, not like he wants to, Mob goes on his day with calm and naturalness
For Mob to develop romantic feelings isn't too difficult nor has to be a slow process, but when he does has a crush it affect him a lot and is pretty obvious, but in the case you two are close (or even become close) he slowly get used to his feelings and can interact with you without becoming a blushing mess
Your sweet and cheerful personality always brights his day, everytime he sees you smiling he can't help but smile too (with a little blush), sometimes he stares at you because he is mesmerize (until someone or even you take him out of his trance, making him a little embarrassed)
Whenever you two interact and you are sweet to him Mob feels special and fuzzy, he becomes a litte shy and can't just say no to you, he can handle you being really sweet with him but getting too close or even affectionate with him is more difficult for him to handle, even if is that you got closer to him he is already a nervous flustered mess, stuttering almost every word that leave his lips
Mob doesn't tent to talk much about the future or his own dreams (is probably that he doesn't exactly have one) but he is more than willing to hear you talk about your dreams, when you do tell him that your dream is to find love and to marry the person you love he immediatly tells you that is an amazing dream, he doesn't see anything bad on your wish and doesn't judge you for it, he may think on the posibility of being that person but he quickly throw away that idea for being really embarrassed for it. Is probably that he will tell Ritsu or even Reigen about your dream later when he thinks about it again, and is more like thinking out loud (he doesn't mind much their opinion, he will still think is a good dream)
Mob literally can't believe how bad luck you have in love, in his eyes you are completely amazing and beautiful so he can't understand why others won't like to be with you, let alone criticize you for your personality or wish, he doesn't know what to do to comfort you and get pretty nervous if you really seem sad for your past experiences, he tries his best to help you calm down but not even then he knows what he is doing so is probably that he end up telling you how amazing you are in his eyes (not really thinking in if his being obvious with his crush or not)
Mob finds pretty amusing your hability to always find something good and even atractive on the others, he likes hearing you rant about it and compliment people, mainly because you looks so excited over it, also he knows your compliments are genuine and he find it really endearing. He normally doesn't feel jealous nor insecure over it, is just something else he likes from your personality, however he do sometimes wonder if the people you compliment are more your type (specially towards those you seem more excited or had just compliment), wondering if he was more like that person he would have more chances with you, giving him more motivate to improve himself
Whenever you do give him a compliment, even for something small, he quickly becomes a flustered mess, even a little embarrassed and shyly telling you that it isn't a big deal (if you insist he becomes a little more flustered but at the same time make him feel special), and, as much as it flustered him receiving compliments from you, he actually loves it. If you don't give him directly compliments, or have been a while since the last time you had say something good about him is probably that Ritsu will try to help by telling you something good about Mob just so you can see the good on him (sometimes is the Body Improvement Club who talks you about him but is more when he improves on something)
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Hitohito Tadano
After what happened during high school Hitohito decided to take things slowly and just be a normal student, not really wanting to highlight a lot, however that will be pretty difficult since he became best friends with the the school goddess and is crushing a pretty popular person
For Hitohito to fall in love is a slowly process, but when he does he does it hard, he loves a lot but will never force his feelings on you, that is why most of the time he just try to be near you trying to not make his feelings obvious
You two probably started being friends when he and Shouko approached to you in hopes to become your friend, explaining Shouko's dream to have 100 friends to what you answered by cheerfuly supporting her and gladly becoming her friend, saying that you have your own dream you want to achieve. Curiosity quickly pick them and is Hitohito who asked you about it without thinking (for what he will try to apologize), you quickly answered with a dreamly voice that your wish is to get married, to love someone and be loved, Hitohito was dumbfounded while Shouko decided to show you her support too, but at the end he doesn't judge you nor tell you is a bad wish
Even when he doesn't say it out loud, Hitohito is pretty flustered by your cheerful and sweet personality, you always have a sweet smile on your lips that make Hitohito feel flustered, specially when that smile is for him, even when it seem like your smile will never go away his heart just skip a beat whenever he is the one making you smile
It takes a while to notice and accept his own feelings for you so for most of the time he just support you on your wish to find a partner and heard you rant about it, even when he gets a strange feeling on his chest he just tries to ignore it, telling himself that you aren't forced to choose him or anything and he should cheerish for you like a good friend (and he still say it to himself once he accept his feelings because he will never force his feeling on you)
Hitohito is always willing to heard you rant about the attractive qualities you find in your classmates or whenever you seem specially attracted to someone (even if he doesn't understand how you do it or why), Hitohito, deep down on his heart actually wishes that it would be him for the one you talk so lovingly or gives so much compliments but it doesn't take him long for him to get embarrassed for thinking that and try to shakes the thought of his head
If you ever give him a compliment, even just a small one, he becomes a flustered mess in one second, thanking you over and over again but insisting that it isn't a big deal (actually when Najimi finds out about his crush on you she constantly tease him by asking you what you think of him or say something just to make you start talking about him)
Hitohito doesn't undestand how you could have so bad lucky in love when you are so sweet and loving, maybe a little too entusiat but in his eyes is just part of your cute personality, he understand if someone don't correspond your feeling but directly harshly rejecting you or even saying bad stuff about your personality and/or appearance is something that actually makes him mad, he finds everything about you lovely and he can't help but express his annoyance, however he focus more on comforting you and telling you that you have nothing wrong, that you are amazing the way you are! Accidentally expressing a little about his feelings and when he notice what he was saying is too late because you had heard it already, he is embarrassed and tries to explain himself, he mentally kicks himself but at least you seem to appreciate his words
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Wakana Gojo
Gojo has been almost all his life alone, not being good to socialize and because people can find his work kinda weird, so, even if he start being you friend after getting to be Marin's friend is still pretty suprising for him to have another person to call a friend
Gojo isn't the type to fall in love immediatly, maybe a little attraction but to fall in love it has to be after a little bit of time, and when he does he does it hard. Gojo notice his feelings almost imediatly but he tries to deny it, saying to himself that is just that he is excited for having a new friend or that you will never like him that way, as well he tries to hide it but isn't really good at doing it
Gojo can't help but get flustered and all blushy whenever you are being sweet and so cheerfuly with him (unfortunately for him is almost all the time), and even when he tries to stay calm he can't because everytime your smile is dedicated or because of him his heart skip a beat, and not just that but since you could be pretty touchy and affectionate his heart almost stops all the time
Once Gojo grows comfortable with you and if you ask kindly enough (or insist excitedly and/or with puppy eyes) he will tell you everything you want to know about the dolls he does or the cosplays he is working on, when he does he can talk so naturaly that may slip a little about his dream of taking care of the store when he grows (is just that he feels so comfortable that he can't stop himself from saying it), when he notice what he had say he tries to apologize and ask you to forget it but if you show support or even call his dream cute he is between the confusion and being flustered. He wants to reciprocate and support you with your dream but when you tell him that you wish to love and be loved, to get married, he is dumbfounded, he wasn't expecting something like this at all, but at the end he support you nonetheless
He will probably think on your dream later, he find it stranger but cute at the same time! even a little funny but in a good way, also Gojo is just so into his thoughts that the idea of being the one that makes reality your dream bump into his head soon or later, it take him a moment to fully process his own idea and become a flustered mess while trying to shakes the idea out of his head (he will be so nervous about it that it would take him a while to be able to look at you directly at the eyes again)
Gojo doesn't has the heart to ask you to stop whenever you rant about what you find attractive of the people you know, if you are complimenting someone he just stand there beside you, doing his best to smile but inside he feels bad, not jealous but insecure and that insecurity will bugg him later when he is alone and will make him think that you probably will never like him that way
When you do give him a compliment Gojo quickly gets flustered and ask you to please stop, it isn't a big deal or anything! if you don't stop he will just be more and more flustered (is almost a miracle that he doesn't pass out), this is something that makes him feel embarrassed but he likes a lot when you do compliment him, he knows your compliments are sincere so it kinda make him feel special and sometimes even boost his confidence
Gojo doesn't undestand how if you are so beautiful, inside and out, you have no lucky in love, in his eyes whoever catch your attention is a lucky person but it seems like your past experiences say the contrary, he hates seeing you so sad about all of this so, even if it makes him a flustered mess Gojo will try his best to cheer you up and tell you how beautiful you are on your eyes (trying to don't be too obvious with his feelings)
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Nier
Nier and Yonah are know through all the village and for his friendly and willingness to help everyone it isn't difficult to get to know him and be his friend (and he is more than happy to make new friends)
For Nier to fall in love is a little bit of a slowly process (contrary at just having a little crush) since first he wants to get to know the person, the love that he holds for you is selfless and innocent but Nier won't notice his own feelings for a long time (even so it could be pretty obvious his interest on you)
All the villagers know about Yonah but not everyone had saw her since she is almost all the time in bed for her sickness, but since you two are close is more likely Nier has no problem with you going to his house and visit her (and is even grateful for it), you are always so sweet and cheerful towards Yonah, not mentioning her sickness and always willing to play with her, seeing you two spend time together makes him fall in love more and more
Is know for everyone how caring he is with his sister and has no problem with express his determination to find a cure for Yonah's sickness, and just like he is always up to help anyone who need his helps, he want to help you if you ever need helps, so if you ever express that you have a dream he is already offering his help even without getting to heard what you wish for, and when you tell him that you wish to get married Nier is flustered and a little embarrassed but still wants to help you, although he doesn't how he will be able to help you with that (and he express it, along with how he will try to help you at the best of his habilities)
Nier is constantly influenced by your sweet personality, whenever you smile he can't help but smile too, and he doesn't get flustered unless someone point out this or when you are being too close or even affectionate with him
Nier is fascinated by how you always seem to find good things on everyone (even when you say that are qualities that make them attractive) and everytime you say it out loud he can't help but laugh amused before say something himself, either agreeing or even adding something to what you had say (he find it specially funny when you get to meet Weiss and Kaine). Nier isn't really someone who usually feels jealous, so he doesn't normally get insecure or jealous over it, only the times you seem a little too excited over someone, he feels a little uncomfortable and jealous, he tries to don't intervene but still tries to catch your attention back
Everytime you do give him compliments to him Nier becomes really flustered and with a nervous smile he tries to decline the compliments by saying that it isn't a big deal (specially if is about his strenght or how caring he is with Yonah)
As much as he likes seeing you and Yonah get along is probably that he ends up getting pretty embarrased thanks to her, when Yonah start to take a liking towards you she start to insist more on wanting to know you and she can't help but talk about Nier from time to time (is the person she loves the most in the world after all), so, even when it isn't her intention Yonah talk about what she love more of her brother, on how caring and stronge he is, and since you agree with her or even ask her more stories just make him more and more flustered and embarrassed (is probably that when Yonah start to like you too if she get to know about your dream she will ask you with all her innocence if you will like to marry his brother)
Nier doesn't understand how you can have so terrible lucky in love if you are such a lovely person! Whenever you feel bad for your past experiences he is quickly to comfort you, assuring that maybe you just haven't found the right person yet or that he thinks you are amazing the way you are, he focus on comforting you but if someone says something bad about you or directly offends you he will be more mad and will want to do something about it (maybe try to talk with Devola and Popola about it)
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Emil
Since in the mansion is just Emil and the butler he is more than happy to have the opportunity to meet someone new (a little nervous at first but that doesn't stop him from start a friendship with you), it doesn't matter if you stay with him in the mansion or just visit him once on a while he is more than happy to have you around
It would take a while for him to develop feelings towards you, he is not the type to fall in love immediatly, but when he does his feelings are pretty stronge and stubborn, also it won't take him long to notice his feelings for you and as much as he thinks that it would be safer if you stay away he can't stop himself from searching your company
Since Emil can't see you he just learn to identify your footsteps (even if you don't make much sound while walking he will know you are there) and he grows to love your voice, for him your voice is just as lovely and sweet as your personality (he may say it once but he would do it pretty shy)
Emil is a really good listener, he likes hearing you talk about anything really, it could be that one day he got curious or you are the one bringing up the topic about you having a dream (or asking him for his) and he immediatly shows interested on it, when you tell him that your dream is to get married Emil can't help but laugh at it, not because he is making fun of you but because he finds it really cute, something that totally matches your personality (he will get flustered when the feeling of wanting to be the one you marry bumps in his head)
Emil can't help but smile at your sweetness, is something that bright his days and he is totally grateful and happy to have you around. It even reached the point where just by hearing your footsteps coming he is already smiling softly
Emil is easily startled by you affectionate side, you being so carefree with getting close and even hugging him always surprised him and make him flustered (specially after his transformation, but in this case he is more hesitant to returning the hugs)
Emil can't understand how you being so amazing and beautiful have so bad lucky in love, having bad past experiences with people that had even complain about your appearance, anytime you remember or talk about those experiences he quickly comforts you saying otherwise, saying how amazing you are to him (a little flustered but don't really mind if he make a little obvious his feelings for you)
It troubled him a little anytime you start complimenting others (even if you don't tell them the compliments directly), it makes him a little insecure about his chances with you and yet he doesn't has the heart to stop you (he doesn't feel with the right to say you anything about it). And whenever you compliment him is the complete opposite reaction, he immediatly gets flustered and start stuttering while trying to say thanks and saying that there is no need, Emil is used to be called a monster or even a weapon so receiving such heartwarming compliments from the person he loves is a little too much for him
Also, if the compliments are about his powers, even just one, it will help him a lot to slowly grow more comfortable with them since he sees his powers as a curse that only brings destruction, you seeing something good on them comfort him a lot
When he get his transformation he was horrified by his new appearance, he didn't wanted to anyone to see him like this and even after Nier's acceptance and comfort he was scare of your reaction, if you react well or even imediatly accept him he is already on the verge of tears (if you even compliment his new appariace it would take him a while to believe and accept it but it make things easier for him)
After his transformation, now that he finally can look at you without putting you in danger he will take a moment to appreciate how beautiful you are before actually saying it, not really giving importance if he end up embarrassed for saying it
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cobragardens · 1 year ago
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Holy Kittens, Y'all: My Favorite Good Omens Moment Has Gotten EVEN MORE ROMANTIC
Okay so I wrote this post about my favorite moment in Good Omens, and the stuff people are pointing out in the reblogs and comments is blowing my freaking mind, and I HAVE to show you how beautifully this all fits together, like I am flailing at my desk about this.
@vidavalor points out this gif from @soft-ange-aziraphale [Source]:
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Here it is in sequence (gifs 1-4 from Fuck Yeah Good Omens):
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I can't stop laughing over Aziraphale's smile, which shows, as @quoththemaiden says, that he's "utterly delighted with himself" and knows perfectly well that he's minxing Crowley; and this tiny extension of the moment convinces me even more that Crowley is desperately fighting a smile himself here.
Actually there's a lot in @quoththemaiden's comment that's insightful and well-put:
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Totes agree with all of this.
And then. AND THEN!
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I knew Crowley was trying to communicate something with this Shakespeare line, but I didn't know what until @paperbunny and @musingsofmaisie put it out there: Crowley is complimenting Aziraphale here, telling him he's enjoying being in Aziraphale's company, telling him his humor worked.
Remember how I keep banging on about how much equivocation Crowley does? This is more equivocation. In 1601, Richard Burbage was 34 years old, so age hasn't had the chance to wither his infinite variety yet. The stupidity of demons and the ignorance of angels regarding the human aging process prevent surveillance from noticing the poor applicability of this line to Burbage, but since the first half of the line fits Aziraphale (who does not age at all) more than Burbage (who is merely not yet old) it stands a chance of indicating to Aziraphale that Crowley is speaking about him. And the underlying true meaning of this equivocal statement would be A DIRECT RESPONSE TO MY FAVORITE MOMENT: Even though I have known you so long, you still surprise and delight me.
(Crowley's Antony & Cleopatra line also accomplishes something else important: it gets William Shakespeare to go away so they can speak privately, because Shakespeare doesn't want them to see him writing it down.)
A Dip Into Speculation
I don't think the evidence for it is binding enough to say for sure, because the evidence is really just that it fits together so nicely and lines up so well with A&C's coded romantic messages in 1793; the (pretty overt, actually, I mean damn) romance in 1827; the size and nature of the fight in 1867; the yeah, really overt romance in 1941; and in 1967; and yes okay now that I'm thinking about it the whole series, but I have this View about how the rest of the 1601 scene goes.
And in fact there is Word of Gods that could be interpreted as evidence against this little pet headcanon I have, though it doesn't necessarily have to be:
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Here's my assertion: Aziraphale volunteers to go to Edinburgh for Crowley. Crowley cheats the coin toss to accept Aziraphale's offer and to keep up appearances as a demon. Rather than making a deal with (or asking a favor of) an angel, he's 'cheating' him (without the angel's knowledge, but with his consent), which "moves the dials" of evil a bit and would also make Aziraphale appear less at fault if this instance of the Arrangement is ever discovered by Heaven.
This can coexist with Gaiman's statement, above, that it doesn't even occur to Aziraphale that Crowley cheats the toss. THEE ongoing leitmotif of Aziraphale's view of Crowley is that he thinks of Crowley as much more genuinely evil and much less in need of ways to create cover as evil than Crowley actually is.
(Which is interesting, given that he also clearly thinks that Crowley is not as evil as he pretends to be, that he is and wants to do good, and that he deserves to be an angel again. [There is a whoooole nother essay slowly curdling in the churn in my head about how Aziraphale is obliged to practice doublethink and how that stunts his personal development because that's what happens when people aren't free.])
Here's what I mean when I say Aziraphale volunteers.
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Does Aziraphale ask in this tone because he is actually feeling suspicious and curt, or because he has to sound suspicious and curt? He could be perfectly willing to do Crowley a favor and would still need to sound the way he does. It's difficult for me to believe this guy--
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--or this guy--
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--are really all that bothered by the idea that Crowley might want something from him.
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Crowley's response sounds like a(n unconvincing) protest of innocence. Maybe it is. But he doesn't disagree with the premise on which Aziraphale based his question, which means Aziraphale now has confirmation: Crowley called the meeting because he wants to ask Aziraphale to do him a favor.
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Close your eyes and listen to Sheen's delivery of this line. The way he says it is so soft it's got no judgy angelic sting to it at all. Is this really a prissy answer to Crowley's semi-rhetorical question? Or is Aziraphale using the cover of a prissy answer to ask Crowley, Is what you want related to the no-good you're up to, i.e., demon work?
Either way, Crowley answers:
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Is Crowley making a demonic jibe at Aziraphale in return to "You're up to no good," or is he telling Aziraphale, Yes, what I want from you is related to my work, and to your work, esp. what you've got on right now?
Aziraphale volunteers some information about his schedule and what it is he's got on right now.
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--he says, and the velvety way Crowley says "Ohhh," tells us--and could tell Aziraphale--that Crowley already knows this. In this coded communication I'm suggesting, Crowley's tone on "Oh" confirms to Aziraphale that the thing he wants help with does indeed have to do with Aziraphale's trip to Edinburgh.
So Aziraphale gives Crowley his travel details: Yeah, I have a couple of blessings and a minor miracle to perform. It's going to suck; I have to ride a horse.
Crowley's like, yeah, riding horses does suck. You have my sympathies. (Phrasing it as an insult to God: "Major design flaw if you ask me.") And then he says, I have to go to Edinburgh too this week. Tempt a clan leader into stealing some cattle.
And here's where I think Aziraphale volunteers to do Crowley's Edinburgh job for him:
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If, as I propose, Aziraphale understands already at this point that Crowley is asking him to take Crowley's Edinburgh temptation, then this response tells Crowley he's willing to do so.
And then they have a little bit of kayfabe theater and a little bit of miscommunication between themselves. Crowley suggests Aziraphale take Crowley's Edinburgh job. Aziraphale protests "You cannot actually be suggesting what I infer you're implying," even though, as Crowley immediately points, out, they've now done this dozens of times.
Now, obviously Aziraphale is pretending innocence here with "You cannot actually be suggesting," etc. But he's not pretending innocence to Crowley. He can't be: Crowley knows about the dozens of other times just like Aziraphale does. So the protest of innocence is for surveillance; it's the spirit, not the letter, of the protest itself that's genuine: I am reluctant about this.
And Crowley misses it.
He reads the surface layer of the equivocation, the Heavenly pearl-clutching; and the surface layer is where he argues. "We've done it before," he points out. "Dozens of times now. The Arrangement--"
But Aziraphale, visibly frightened and looking around, cuts him off. "Don't say that." Getting caught in an Arrangement would be much, much worse than getting caught in a one-off deal.
Why is this suddenly a problem? says Crowley. You know we've been getting away with this; you know they don't check up.
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It's not pearl-clutching at all; Aziraphale is worried for Crowley's safety.
When Crowley says--
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--is his tone half wheedling and half impatient because that's how he feels, or because it must sound like that? Is it soft only out of courtesy to the other people in the Globe?
There's no difference to the outcome of this scene or the story as a whole whether this romantic interpretation of the Edinburgh bickering is correct, because we've already got a solid base of evidence that the characters have romantic feelings for each other and show each other affection and care in this scene. In my opinion this interpretation fits the tone of the rest of the Globe scene better than only the face-value interpretation. What Gaiman and Mackinnon say about Crowley cheating the coin toss and Aziraphale not being aware of it can still easily apply.
While these three statements together aren't enough evidence to convict, so to speak, if my initial argument about the interpretation of "Buck up!" and Crowley's reaction is correct--and the cool stuff other people have found and pointed out suggests it is AND explains Crowley's Antony & Cleopatra line--this reading of the Edinburgh bickering is, if not ironclad, at least valid.
And holy shit, people, that makes this scene romantic af from beginning to end. I could not have asked for a better little gift from my fellow humans. 🤯I have such a better understanding of the entire 1601 scene because people from anywhere with an Internet connection sat down and spent their time sharing their ideas, and it just makes the lit-nerd lobe of my brain so happy. I love you all, you romantics and nerds and perverts.
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13rurururi · 1 year ago
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Can I request head-cannons on how the Hantengu clones deal with their shared female crush and how they confess to her. Along with what it’s like to date them? :)
Russian Roulette: Hantengu Clones x Reader (SFW Headcanons & Imagines)
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Pairing/s: Sekido x Reader, Aizetsu x Reader, Karaku x Reader, Urogi x Reader
Content: female reader, jealousy, the demons fighting over you, etc.
Synopsis: Despite their clashing personalities, the four clones of Hantengu always upheld their ultimate goal of serving the Demon King. Aside from their loyalty and shared blood, they never entertained the possibility of having anything else in common — that was until they met you, an ambitious demon slayer that they can't get off their minds. In other words, they have a crush on you, and you've never been so conflicted in your life.
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Being a demon slayer involves plenty of sacrifices and hardships that warrant unshakeable mental strength. You've lived your life with the threat of death looming at the back of your head, yet you only continue to hone your sharpened sword with a mask of courage and certainty.
One day, you arrive at the well-hidden Swordsmith Village to have your chipped blade repaired; unfortunately, your supposedly peaceful time at the hot springs is interrupted by swarms of killer goldfishes and four — annoyingly attractive — clones of the weeping, whining demon.
You release a battle cry as you witness your comrades get swept away by a strong blast of wind unleashed by the demon equipped with a fan. At this point, you were alone, knuckles whitening due to the swift build-up of rage and anxiety pooling in your stomach.
You unsheathe your katana, adapting a steady stance amidst the four demons who peered at you with their piercing, colored eyes.
However, you notice something quite odd hidden behind their peculiar gazes. Behind the kanji of "Upper Moon" and "Four," you curiously note a humane emotion that is rarely attributed to demons. Your instincts turn cogs in your head, and you arrive at a bewildering thought that sent a shiver through your body:
The four demons you are tasked to kill seem to be enamored with you.
SEKIDO
Something other than infuriation is stuck in his throat.
He will be in great denial when it comes to his infatuation for you.
He's a demon that is so straight-laced and strict; he never entertained the possibility of a developing a crush.
He'll be blushing a hue that could match the tint of his eyes — fiery red. He'll feverishly deny it, though.
If he is close to you in proximity, he'll turn so stiff and rigidly cling onto his staff, not uttering a word. This makes you think he dislikes you, but he's so enamored with you that he's actually rendered speechless.
If he manages to get over his raging anxiety when it comes to talking to you, he'll confess to you, very ambiguously.
You'll be confused if it was a declaration of love or war — his flustered expression and clamoring hands betray him, though, and you'll gently take his hand in yours, understanding settling in your chest.
It takes a while for him to truly shed off his stiffness and awkwardness; in time, he is quite the clingy lover. He ensures to always be by your side as you go sightseeing or stroll under the bright moonlight.
He enjoys quality time with you, after all.
Your first kiss is messy, a little awkward yet full of genuinely potent feelings. He smiles as his lips are pressed onto yours, grateful to be the man that will protect you for the rest of your mortal life.
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The rage sitting on his tongue tasted different the moment he laid his eyes on you. He is a demon that gawks out consistent, clear orders to his fellow clones (who he considers as absolute buffoons that don't take their duties seriously).
However, he uncharacteristically wavers when he sees your subtly shivering form in front of him. He gulps and muffles a conflicted growl under his breath, stealing a glance at the other three, who seem to be as intrigued as he is.
What are you? His erratic mind considers the possibility of you being a Marechi, but he quickly dismisses that thought when he realizes that you are not wounded or bleeding in any way.
That's good —
Wait. Did he really feel relief when he confirmed your safety? He is a demon, for crying out loud!
His head spun with a mixture of confusion and rage towards the uncomfortable thump in his chest. What makes you so different, and why do you engulf his thoughts and bloodstream as if you were in control of him?
Whatever such an unfamiliar feeling may be, it should not deter him from accomplishing his duties under Muzan's orders; however, he couldn't bring himself to electrocute you.
Damn it. He harshly grits his teeth in realization: he wants to keep you alive and safe — you're too damn interesting to kill off. Sekido is undoubtedly in denial of his developing infatuation for you.
Unfortunately, his stubbornness prevents him from even approaching your glowering, quaking figure. He remains rooted on the same spot, opting to simply intensely gaze at you from afar.
KARAKU
His whole body tingles with excitement at your mere presence — you're so pleasing to look at.
He is an expressive suitor, and he spoils you with gifts and trinkets that remind him of you. Yes, his love language is gift giving.
Even if you appear closed-off, he will remain persistent yet patient. You wake up to various snacks, jewelry, and love letters scattered across your room.
You initially think that his feelings for you are superficial, but little did you know, no one has ever made Karaku's heart pump as loudly and powerfully as you.
You are already aware of his infatuation for you, but he still opts to declare his desire to be in a relationship with you through an immensely romantic gesture: rose petals scattered around a garden, lanterns sparkling brightly amidst the dark night, and an entrée of your favorite meals stacked on a tree stump.
He hates human food, as do any other demon, but he still makes an effort to ensure your happiness and satisfaction.
You may think his efforts diminish once you accept his proposal, yet it only heightens and strengthens.
You realize he truly loves you when he showcases how consistent, attentive, and patient he is. Even if you aren't always partaking in fun, exciting, and heart-pumping activities, Karaku is more than happy to be by your side.
You are his greatest pleasure, after all.
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Cute, cute, cute! You are the cutest, prettiest little thing he has ever seen.
To him, you appear as a shiny, new plaything that could relieve him of his boredom. The night is still young, and he would love to spend it with you.
He remembers the hot springs by the slope of the mountains. His green-tinted eyes shine in excitement. If he invites you, would you come? He'll spare your life in exchange for a date!
He's much more straightforward and accepting of his feelings due to his insatiable nature that seeks novel and exciting experiences. He believes you could be the next best thing to happen to him after hundreds of years. Be a dear and accept his proposal, would you?
He approaches you cheerily, putting away his fan-like weapons. You step away and remain guarded, which only makes Karaku pout at you flippantly.
"Aww, don't be shy now. I won't hurt you if you agree to soak with me in the hot springs. How about that, pretty?"
He ignores the heated gazes aimed at his head by the other three behind him, well-aware that all of them feel a shared, unexplainable attraction to you.
The smirk on Karaku's face doesn't waver as he steps closer once more, and to his delight, you don't widen the distance between you and his tall, muscular figure.
Standing mere inches away from you, Karaku observes you with curious eyes — you're so cute with your quivering lips, dilated pupils, and glaring expression. You are unable to repress the shiver that runs through your veins when he licks his lips as he stares at yours.
Karaku is quite expressive with his evident infatuation for you, and he shortly sighs at the imagery of you and him entangled in one another in the hot springs. It's an unfamiliar feeling, but he is accepting of everything new and exciting. In this case, the new and exciting is none other than you.
Opting to close the inches of distance between you, he raises his free hand to caress your face; however, before he can make any contact with you, his movement is ceased with a firm grasp on his forearm—
Aizetsu?
AIZETSU
He wants to rid of all the sadness in your soul.
He shows his affection towards you through attentive and caring actions.
He isn't verbally expressive, and he oftentimes averts his gaze away from you if you catch him staring.
With how reserved he appears (paired with the tiny frown that settles firmly on his mouth), you initially assumed that he is indifferent towards you.
However, his actions speak louder than words — whenever you strain yourself too much, he quietly offers to massage the tension away from your shoulders; when you have a subtle downcast expression behind your smiles, he instantly picks up on it and sits you down, gently intertwining his fingers in yours.
"You can talk to me; I'm here to listen."
He is an amazing listener, and he will never pressure you into accepting him as your lover.
In fact, you're the one who decides to propose to him, assuring him that you return his feelings in the same magnitude.
His lips would quiver, and his his eyes would widen in surprise for a fraction of a second. Then — to your immense shock — he smiles. His smile is gentle, soft, and warm — a testament to his affection for you.
Once you begin dating, the trust you have for each other only deepens, and many sweet secrets and burdensome tales are shared between you.
You've never felt so safe with someone before, and you're certain that he'll love you no matter the circumstance; you will never be a burden to him.
You are the sole warmth of his gloomy heart, after all.
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The constant whir of depressive thoughts seem to halt for a brief moment. His downturned eyes and furrowed brows twitch in awe at the mere sight of you.
You are so magnetic.
He silently gapes at you from where he stood, realizing that you have entranced the others as much as you've enticed him. He catches Sekido swallow a flustered expression and Karaku approach you with overflowing excitement in his jovial movements.
Aizetsu remains in a trance of bewildering yet intriguing emotions; however, seeing Karaku raise his hand to grasp you makes him instinctively — in a nearly primal response — sprint towards you, ceasing Karaku's hand from even touching a hair on your body.
"What do you think you're doing?" Karaku's carefree expression melts away, now replaced with restrained annoyance that slips through his voice.
"A lady under stress cannot give you proper consent to touch her," Aizetsu calmly yet firmly declares, releasing his uncharacteristically tight grip on his fellow demon's forearm.
"Hah!? Who are you to say what's right or not — you're a damn demon, for crying out loud! You're always so boring as hell, Aizetsu!" With each sentence, Karaku's chipper voice grew into a deeper, rougher bark.
You notice him curl his fists into a ball, veins bulging out due to irrepressible pressure. Aizetsu faces him calmly, his ever-present frown deepening.
Are these demons — clones of the Upper Moon Four — about to fight each other over you?
As you stand there with a flabbergasted expression replacing your initial look of determination, Aizetsu cranes his neck to gaze at you; his gaze softens.
"I'm so sorry you have to witness this. It saddens me to see you in great distress."
Your mouth gapes at his polite and genuine tone. Before you could utter some sort of response, the demon adorned with massive wings interrupted the bubbling confrontation.
UROGI
He'd sacrifice his joy if it means you could live your life in eternal happiness.
His flippant personality turns down a notch once he realizes his attraction towards you.
He doesn't want you to think that he's pursuing you out of boredom.
However, he gets a little too overwhelmed with bursts of happiness circulating throughout his body when he's near you.
For the most part, you bear witness to him intently ogling at you with dilated pupils, wings fluttering in intermittent jitters.
He's like a puppy! Well, he has the literal anatomy of an eagle, yet you can't help but internally swoon at his dog-like mannerisms.
If you invite him to spend time with you under the stars, it's with utmost certainty that he agrees with unhidden glee.
He gets so wholesomely joyful when you reciprocate his display of affection.
He is quite the smooth-talker, tongue always prepared with a quip that makes you burst in wheezing laughter.
He's also well-equipped when it comes to comforting you with soothing affirmations of love and comfort. You can't help but fall into his strong embrace as he whispers promises of a better tomorrow.
When he engulfs you in a hug, his wings act as another layer of warmth and protection, making you melt deeper into his body as you sigh in contentment.
You establish a relationship without even needing a direct confession — which you initially found ironic, considering how his words and tender touches were the main driving force of your intimacy.
In the end, your presence fills him with indescribable happiness, and he would spend the rest of his life ensuring that you feel the same sensation of joy.
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For the first time in his centuries as a demon, he feels the smile plastered on his face falter. Why, why, why — why are the other demons obviously enticed by your presence?
When you caught his gaze, he felt a cold shiver rush through the span of his body, up to the tips of his wings. It is terrifyingly unfamiliar, yet he wishes to feel more of the ecstasy your mere existence makes him feel.
He wants you all to himself — he wants to grasp you by your waist and fly you above the clouds. He wants to feel your warm palms pressed against his chest as he flies through gorgeous sceneries that he wishes to witness with you.
However, that's easier said than done.
Sekido — that annoying stick-in-the-mud — is quiet in deep contemplation for once in his life. Apart from that, you are currently in between a raging Karaku and an uncommonly unyielding Aizetsu.
Urogi feels his talons chip at the coarse dirt below him, and as if he cannot bear to see the shadow of fear in your eyes any longer, he slacks his jaw and screams.
His attack won't harm the demons around him; after all, they share the same cells, but it still effectively brings the attention to him and away from you. He wants to give you a moment to breathe, and you somehow deduce the intent of his gesture from the slight crinkle of his bright eyes.
Urogi's head-splitting screech results in all four demons glowering at one another. A realization settles in the air and a twinge of possessiveness and unbridled desire become potent.
No words are spoken, yet they all seem to finally comprehend the situation: they all want you, and you won't be shared. The cells in their bodies furiously screech in yearning for your touch, attention, and entirety. It was a terribly atypical feeling, but who are they to restrain themselves from attaining satiety? They're demons, after all, and they want you — even if it means fighting each other.
It felt like forever until all four pairs of eyes gazed at you once more. A painful rush of fear, confusion, and anticipation courses through your body. However, before you could regain a fighting stance, the one with the blood-red eyes spoke,
"Slayer, we have decided to settle our differences in private. Until then, know that we will be returning, and one of us will take you as our lover."
You simply leave your jaw hanging low, rendered speechless by the bewildering declaration. You hear the distant shouts of Tanjiro and your fellow slayers, and you turn your head towards the direction of their presence for a mere second, quickly gazing back at the demons —
They're gone.
The field is left empty and you are left baffled in a spiral of conflicting emotions. You feel your legs wobble, and you fall to your knees. Your heart hammers in your chest as you heave loudly at the demons' intentions:
They will be back, and one of them will take you — a human — as their bride.
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A/N: I tested out a new format involving (hopefully) discernable switches from headcanons to imagines. The bulleted points are basically the clones daydreaming about dating you — they're simping, for real.
Anyway, I hope it's to your liking, Anon, even if I diverged a little from your request. I just wanted to see some internal conflict from the Hantengu clones, hehe. Maybe in another life — another post — they could be reincarnated into the modern era and actually spend time with you.
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dollcherray · 6 months ago
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۶♡ৎ GILDED LILY ✮⋆˙
✮⋆˙ BLUE DIAMOND OVERLORD READER X ALASTOR
✮⋆˙ WARNINGS/NOTES: this is a remake of an old writing i did in my old account (we don't talk about the original writing.), depression mentions, this is short and not proofread.
۶♡ৎ SONG: I BET ON LOSING DOGS
۶♡ৎ Type: Fluff/light angst, headcanons, romantic/platonic.
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ALASTOR ۶♡ৎ
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۶♡ৎ You are... unusual to him, you easily could catch his attention the moment you entered the hotel, everyone was kind of astonished by your appearance and calm personality, and that included him, so, you could say you have picked his interest more fast than anyone he ever was interested in.
۶♡ৎ But you also annoyed him in certain aspects, we all know Alastor loves some good old tormenting souls in their weak spots, but you were a case where he had to regulate his teasing, or else he would be greeted by a very saddening aura.
۶♡ৎ Ah yes... your powers are also something i could see him interested in, but not as much as he is to Charlie's, well dont get me wrong but he would easily chose the princess of hell over a just peculiar demon, but you would be his plan B if his plan with Charlie fails, he still keeps an eye on you, especially since you don't die, you poof, now that's something he finds extra interesting.
۶♡ৎ Although, Alastor would find your kindness a bit weak, i mean, cmon honey, you are an OVERLORD! you are so powerful and yet so patient and kind is somewhat a waste of power since you always chooses dialogue rather than going physical, the person could be trying to eat you alive and there you are trying to talk to him, kinda reminds him of Charlie, only difference between you two is that when you want to be cruel you are CRUEL.
۶♡ৎ He finds how calm and collected you can be very admirable, he thinks you are a very pleasant person to be around, since you weren't loud nor depraved in the tiniest like some of the hotel, so Alastor would be rather happy to stay with you, it's quite relaxing to him honestly, having someone who isn't sexually depraved or trying to insult him every 5 words, not that he cares tho, its just tiring to hear so many "jealous souls" trying to get his attention (in his words)
۶♡ৎ You would probably easily grow on him if you tried, all you had to do was keep being calm, quiet and he would already be attached to you like he is to Rosie, the only difference he is a bit more of a collected gentleman since you weren't as agitated and extroverted as Rosie.
۶♡ৎ Now, what can worry him after he grows attached to you is how depressing and destructive you can get when upset or sad, we all saw how mean Blue was before era 3 events, so Alastor will 100% try to ''comfort'' you, saying that crying like that can develop a serious mental illness such as depression.
۶♡ৎ But if anything, he would try to use this emotional deregulation of yours to his advantage, lets be real, Alastor is a clever demon, he wouldn't let a chance like this slip from his fingers easily, but, if he's attached to you enough, he would actually genuinely try to help you.
۶♡ৎ Finds your voice relaxing but wont openly admit it, if you sing or hum something and he's around, he will secretly relax to the sound of you singing or humming, before being interrupted by Angel's obnoxious teasing towards him.
“You are quite divine to me my dear!”
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tonkatsubowl · 7 months ago
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Hi! I love ur fics smmm they’re all so pretty fr😭
I just randomly came up with a headcanon of y/n being shared w three yan! Aventurines (past, present and the future) (help) and would like to request for a fic of that if you are comfortable w it! (No need to force yourself 😭👍🏻👍🏻 I’m literally just yapping)
Have a nice day!!!!!(*´꒳`*)❤️❤️
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past —
the first time yandere aventurine first met you, there was something about you that he couldn't quite brush off. something about you felt nostalgic and so safe, yet considering his trust issues and his already apparent guarded behavior, he strayed away from you a few times, thinking you were most likely a charismatic person with an amazing charm to their personality. yet, at the same time, he pursued his curiosity about you. at first, aventurine had the opportunity to get to know you better... in which, he did. he got to know your aspects, your personality, what you liked, dislike...
... and he was able to relate to you at one point. here comes his obsession, where he began to think about you impulsively. how were you here? you were just like him, so how did you end up being like this? all these thoughts began to make him think, think, and think more about you, which developed into a full time shift of obsessing over you, even if he wasn't thinking about it. you were quite minding your own business, yet you had a certain gambler who couldn't keep his eyes off of you. he admired the way you spoke, the way you breathed, the way you smiled and laughed, and how you fought... you were just one of a kind!
it took some development and some time, but soon, you had the gambler wrapped around your finger without you actually knowing it.
soon enough, you don't need to worry, for he'll do anything he can to keep you safe within the dreamscape and outside of it. that's why he'll try to find where you live and where you mainly stay at. well, he just wants to do this for your safety, yeah? safety is reasonable... right?
soon enough, he began to fall in love (infatuation) with you. he realized to himself that you were someone that was meant to save him, someone that he finally found that he felt was worth living for. despite his trust issues in the past, he began to believe you were the one for him, considering the fact you both were able to relate, and that you were quite literally living rent free in his head.
so, he decided to plan something. something strategic with his manipulative, charismatic words, thinking head and some intellectual planning. he planned on having you, but he absolutely did not want to do it by force given his past. he did not want to deprive you of your freedom and have you suffer as he did, unless matters came to worse.
yet, luckily enough, you were quite easy to win. you already had a crush on him, and when he had asked you out, that was when you felt your heart flutter. yet, you were a little scared. into another relationship you go... how would it go? would he leave you? cheat on you? hurt you? would it turn into a toxic relationship?
who knew? but you really liked him. so you decided to pursue it and let the water flow.
present —
you began to learn some things about yandere aventurine.
throughout your established relationship with aventurine, everything felt so perfect. the man was practically spoiling you with money, expensive gifts, and constant dates. it felt like everything was so perfect, he might as well he the one (he wants to be). but you were a little skeptical, too. was he just doing this to bed with you, so then he'd leave to his other maidens?
... you didn't know that man had already been obsessed with you, but the fact he hid it so well was like the cherry on top. he was extremely loyal, and would do anything he can to show that. every time he left to go to work, you always missed him. the both of you would consistently text each other, but if you didn't reply back within a certain period of time, he'd question you. where did you go? are you busy? am i annoying you? but it was so cute. so you had to comfort him, despite him being quite a little puppy.
you didn't realize he always kept an eye on you. always watching every move, always watching everything that you do. this is for the sake of your safety, after all.
but the one thing you learned about was his jealousy.
whenever he sees you talking to someone, be it a man or a woman, he began to ponder to himself, why is (y/n) talking to them? why are they getting your attention? why isn't it me? who is this? do i have to get rid of them?
so, aventurine would simply walk over, wrap an arm around your waist and innocently ask, "did you make a new friend, my love?"
he had to let the whole world and the vast of the cosmos know that you were already belonging to someone. and you would never be available—you were already his from the first day he laid his eyes on you.
you also didn't know that he was progressively becoming worse. with your kind hearted self and charismatic personality, you were attracting strangers who only willingly wished to ask how your day was been or even say hello before walking away... but the more strangers spoke to you, the more possessive the man had gotten.
you didn't seem to notice it, only to note yourself that your boyfriend is just protective of you.
but really. it was far worse than that. aventurine could snap whenever he wanted, but he had no reason to unless your safety was involved. he tried not to snap at you or get upset at you. he loved you, after all, and didn't want you to think of him as an abusive boyfriend or anything. he admired freedom, and you deserved it...
only some.
future —
you began to ponder about the cosmos, and what yandere aventurine did for a living. he traveled throughout different worlds for business transactions and such, saw so many different stars, planets, cosmic entities... you wondered if he had to leave you to a different planet one day?
that was when you approached aventurine, admitting to him that you wanted to travel the cosmos. you wanted to see the world. you wanted to be with him wherever he went.
... but, though he was flattered by your words, he declined your request. "the cosmos is dangerous," he would say as an excuse, "i can't have you leave this world, and while i'm gone... what if something happened to you?"
safety was always the number one concern for aventurine, but he took it to a different level that you didn't expect. the more you dreamt about the cosmos, the more aventurine began to feel cautious towards you.
if you traveled throughout the cosmos... seeing far and wide... did that mean you were going to leave him?
no, no— that can't happen. not again. you were trying to leave him, weren't you? you're going to leave him—no, you're not going to, because aventurine will make sure of it.
"why do you want to leave me?" his true colors began to show as he held your arms with desperation, clinging for dear life. "you're leaving me. you're trying to, are you? it's not safe without me around. you don't realize that."
"huh? no, i'm not going to leave you. i just said i wanted to be with you as we traveled, remember? i'm never going to leave you."
"you don't realize the dangers of this reality. there's too many monsters and people that will take you from me. i can't risk it when you're the only one i have left in my life." he says.
"w-what? no, 'vasha, i get the dangers, but please trust in me—"
"you just don't listen and understand, do you?"
it's a good thing he had access to different parts of dimensions and worlds to keep you safe in (locking you up). the two of you got into a little argument after your confrontation of your dreams, but obviously, your boyfriend wasn't having it. if you didn't listen to him, then he would have to use force if manipulative tongue wasn't going to work.
all he wanted for you was the good things! he wanted to keep you safe and sound, well protected... really, he needed to keep you untouchable by the bad entities of the multiverse, even.
not even the aeons can touch (save) you, now.
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merbear25 · 6 months ago
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Hello, i don't know if the requests are open, i was wondering about trigun x reader, vash and wolfwood, a reader who's easy going and friendly, cheerful, yet emotionally distant and overthinks a lot
It's fine if it's not your cup of tea, thank you for reading anyway ^^
Hello, hello! I decided to write the headcanons seperately because I wasn't sure if you wanted Vash and Wolfwood in a poly relationship. Apologies if I miss understood! I hope you like it regardless 💜💜
Vash and Wolfwood x Reader who's cheerful but distant
CW: headcanons, gn!reader, fluff, can be read as platonic or romantic.
Vash
He's drawn to your cheerful and friendly demeanor, seeing as he gives off the same energy. This makes it easy for the both of you to find the humor in little things and develop inside jokes.
The easy-going nature you have helps him feel relaxed, and he'd match your energy in hopes of providing the same solace to you.
Whenever you're caught up in your own thoughts, starting to spiral from overthinking, he's there to ground you and offer a fresh point of view on the issue.
Emotional distance doesn't put him off. He just sees it as a part of you and a peek into the life you may have led. Besides, he knows the feeling of thinking you have to keep others at bay, so perhaps this will lead to indepth conversations and a deeper connection.
He's a very patient and understanding man. He's got a heart of gold and knows that you care about him deeply. Whenever your emotional distance pushes him away, he doesn't take it personally. Once giving you some space, he's there to welcome you into his warm embrace.
Wolfwood
He sees a lot of himself in you. That could be either a good or bad thing. However, your cheerful, easy-going and friendly attitude offer enough of a difference that he takes to you rather well.
Emotional distance is something he relates to all too well. There are times you two experience this at the same time and when that happens, you both take a breather to collect yourselves.
Sometimes he's the one to come back to you, offering you soft touches and hugs. Other times, it's you who makes the first move.
He deeply appreciates your more light-hearted moments. They help keep a smile on his face.
He has his own moments of cheerfulness, so being able to provide those fun moments to you is just as nice for him as it is for you.
Being one who rarely loses his head, he'll be the one to ground you when you're overthinking and getting carried away in your own conclusions. He'll be the voice of reason when you need him to be.
He may give you a short lecture here and there about not letting yourself get in your own head so often, but it'll always come from a place of care. All he wants is to know that you'd be okay if anything happened to him.
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