#i don't think i gave it enough time earlier this year when i went off BC for a bit

[umemiyan]

sometimes having a body SUCKS why can't we just be floating brains or disembodied heads like in futurama. and maybe we could attach ourselves to our to bodies at will when we wanna fuck or eat something good

[inbabylontheywept]

Weird Grandpa Dale Story #1

The day started with me digging up cactus. Grandpa Dale had a weird beef with cactuses, bad enough to pay me 10 cents for every pound I turned in. Looking back at it, I think they offended him because they could exist without his consent: They didn't need his water, they didn't need his fertilizer, and they certainly didn't need his permission. 

And that, he simply could not abide. 

Grandpa Dale had been doing something weird that whole morning. I knew because I'd been able to watch him since sunrise. Every time I took a break from digging cactus to look back at the house, I saw him doing something with the gopher holes. 

That made me nervous. Things never went well when he started messing with the gophers.  Earlier that month he'd tried gassing them out, and all he got from that effort was nasty looking blisters up both arms. He almost never complained about anything, but he griped all day about how bad those blisters hurt. When his wife suggested that he go to the hospital he said No, what am I gonna tell them? That my trench got overrun? They wouldn't buy that. They'd think I was cooking meth. 

Which was funny to hear, but also, true, and also, enough for me to know better than to get involved in future gopher battles. 

Which is to admit that I did get involved. But I should've known better. A few hours in, he invited me over, gave me a cold soda, and showed me what he had set up: Two camping chairs, a wicked sharp shovel, a car battery, and a long length of copper wire leading to a pit he'd dug in the middle of the yard. Told me that if I stayed a bit and took a break, cooled down there with a soda in the shade, I'd see something amazing. I asked him if there was even a chance I could get hurt by this "something amazing", and he said "no," which I knew was a bald faced lie. But I believed him because I wanted to believe him. Because I wanted to know what he'd done, and I wanted to sit there in the shade with my grandpa. I also figured, hey, maybe getting gassed taught him a lesson. 

(Never, ever assume that the kind of person willing to break out chemical weapons against gophers is capable of being taught a lesson.) 

So I sat down in my chair and he beamed at that. He loved having an audience. Then I watched him lean forward and tap the ends of the wire against the battery terminals.

And that's where everything went wrong.  

The first thing that hit me was the yard itself. Little bits of sand and grit flying fast enough to hit my skin and bite. It took a year and change for all the little bits to work their way out. But I didn't even feel it at the time, because of what happened after. 

I genuinely think he'd imagined the gophers getting launched out of the holes, disoriented but alive. I think that shovel was there to finish them off afterwards. Which also would've been traumatizing, but probably less so than watching each of those cute little gopher holes projectile vomit bloody piles of tattered critter all over the lawn. 

Which, spoiler alert, is exactly what happened. The sky fell down, and the ground flew up, and the gophers found themselves with nowhere to go. So they did the next best thing and went a little bit everywhere.

I don't think it was actually silent afterwards, but I couldn't hear shit. There was just this long, ringing period of us looking at each other, then the meat piles, then the lawn crater, then the big buckled section of yard that looked oddly like Rockies just behind us, then back to each other. 

I think I did that two or three times before I felt my shoulders start to shake a little. I was crying. Felt weird to cry and not be able to hear it. Like a tic almost, or the way your body seizes up right before you puke. 

And then I looked at his face, and I saw him mouth a single soundless word: 

Shit.

[wolfiesmoon]

Hey I hope you are doing well when ever you are reading this but how do you think the 3rd year boys from twst would react to their s/o (gn reader) cuddling with a huge plush instead of them.

Like this.

Oh boy oh boy this kinda cures my writers block tbh, i have so many drafts but none of em look enticing enough to continue writing (´д｀|||)

I took out a few of the 3rd years bc its too many people for 1 fic but i might make a part 2 where i add the missing 3rd years at some point

i went with the more silly writing style again, hope that's fine by you ○( ＾皿＾)っ

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ Malleus Draconia

He doesn't exactly get why, but he feels kinda annoyed just laying next to you while you hug a big ol plushie

This doesn't feel right🫤

But then again, you look rlly happy and satisfied so he stays quiet since if you're happy, he's happy (he desperately wants to be in the plushy's place)

When you playfully kiss the plush though, that rule no longer applies. After all, his rightful spot is in your arms🫠

He nudges you. "Put the stuffed animal away."

"You sound angry." You smirk and kiss the plush again, knowing he's probably annoyed about that

without another word, he pulls the plushy out of your hands and settles down in its place

"I am a much better than that object. Just so you know." he smiled smugly, expecting a kiss on the cheek just like you gave to the plushie earlier

you kissed him on the lips instead just to see his eyes widen and his face go red ofc 😏

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ Leona Kingscholar

basically, it is NOT happening

"hell no." is the only thing he says before ripping the poor plushie out of your arms and chucking it across the room

like actually how DARE you try to replace him with a plushie

"Why would you do that?" You pouted at him, looking at the now discarded plushy from the bed🤕

"You know damn well why." He huffed, laying down on top of you without warning which tends to be a habit of his

"Because that's my spot, got it?" He answered for you. clearly you forgot😒

"Uhhh, right." you answered after a short pause...

"I won't remind you next time." he sounded rlly annoyed. it's kinda funny how worked up he got over a plushy replacing him 🤭

this also means he won't let you get up for like.... atleast 2 hours to atone for your sins

moral of the story: don't do this again unless you want a ripped up plushie and a pissed off lion man😠

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ Idia Shroud

"This is so unfair. Even worse than an OP boss. " he sighed dramatically, laying down besides you and pouting at the sight og a huge plushie in your arms

"pick up the sock if you have enough energy to complain." you turned away from him, still annoyed with him

being the epic gamer he is (😎💯), he discarded one of his socks in the middle of his room and didn't feel like picking it up later even after you told him to

...which ended with you refusing to cuddle with him until he does pick up the sock

after a short while of very awkward silence...

he groaned in annoyance, begrudgingly getting up and finally picking up the sock, then leaving the room to put it in the wash

you smirked victoriously, placing the plushie away as promised and letting him hug you instead

"The things you make me do, smh." he sighed, relaxing into you 😒

"Picking up a singular sock?" you teased him, hugging him back

He didn't reply so that means it's your victory 😝

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ Vil Schoenheit

this is an unforgivable offense, just because you had a little disagreement earlier doesn't mean you can just replace him with a plushie😠

love transcends disagreements, after all

does not help at all that the plushie's cute round face reminds him of a certain thorn in his side named Neige LeBlanche😒

he sighs, "I may have been too harsh back there."

your only reply is an annoyed huff and you hug the plushie tighter which makes one of those anime veins pop up on his face 💢

he takes a deep breath "It was not my intention to hurt your... sensibilities." he's trying babe, he's really trying

You don't reply for a moment...

"Ugh." you throw the plushie away and hug him tightly "This doesn't mean I forgive you, just for the record."

"I still stand by my opinion too, just worded less harshly." he gently puts an arm around you, stroking your back

it was only a matter of time until you gave up with your stubborn pettiness, soon you'll forgive him too, he'll make sure of that 😌

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ Lilia Vanrouge

He's actually surprisingly chill about it i feel like

He wouldn't get annoyed or be jealous per se, he'd just get a little sad it's not him you're hugging😔

he's there, you know? there's no need for a plushie...

"Am I not satisfactory enough?" He asks half playfully half seriously

"In what sense?" you totally knew what he meant but just wanted to tease him back

"Hey, isn't this supposed to be the other way around?" he smiled at you, immediately knowing what you were playing at

"Hahaha, you know me too well." you kiss his cheek, yet you still don't let go of the plushie which makes him pout

"I see you have found yourself a new lover." his eyes travel to the plushie for a moment, the betrayal is real😔🙏🏻

"You got a problem with him?" you raised a brow 🤨

"A little." he hugged you from the back, getting comfy

"Okay fine, maybe my ex is the better one after all." you let go of the plushie and turned around to hug him back 💗

[lalal-99]

Kitty’s New Best Friend {l.f.}

113 "Either I'm insane or you were just masturbating in our living room." 133 "You're being shy now? Really?" 141 "How many times have you jerked off to me?"

Felix x afab!reader | trope: friends to lovers, roommates | wordcount: 2.4k

Synopsis: When your roommate comes home unexpectedly, he finds you in a compromising position on the living room couch, moaning his name. Fortunetly, he's had a hunch about your feelings for a while, and he's willing to help you out.

Warnings: explicit content | dni if your under 18

Smut Tags: Smut | Explicit Sexual Content | Porn with some Plot | Fluff and Smut | Mutual Pining | Semi-Public Masturbation | Oral Sex (reader rec.) | Teasing

Note: I wrote three different version of this over the past two years. This one was the best one, by a mile. Hope you enjoy. Please leave comments, if you want to encourage more content.

Again, thanks @jl-micasea-fics for letting me use your prompts. I know it's been two years, but still, credit where its due :)

Taglist: @skzho @bubblelixie @flakywig @itsallaboutkey @avyskai @mekuiikore @changbiddies0325 @knowleeknow @sensitiveandhungry @svintsandghosts @poutypoutybin @hyunjinswifeee @sunlitwilderness

Tumblr works on a reblog system. Please consider reblogging this post so that it can reach more people.

Please don't flag as mature or repost this story - Thank You!

He didn’t use to appear in your dirty dreams.

Only months ago, you didn’t need to put a face on the main character of your fantasies—the imagination itself enough to get you going.

That had certainly changed.

It could have been Felix sauntering your shared apartment without a shirt one too many times. It could have been the shoulder to cry on he had lent you after your ex. Hell, it could have even been as trivial as a kind smile for no apparent reason.

Your brain simply shut off and your kitty assumed control. Universally deciding that your roommate was a fitting image to get turned on to.

Now, his face made an appearance in every single one of your daydreams.

When Felix emerged from his room in nothing but a pair of loose hanging sweatpants, your mind went right back to it. It was ridiculous. You didn’t even listen to where he went off to, your fingers already running over his creamy skin in your mind. You felt like a teenager, arousal taking over you the second Felix left the apartment.

None of your other roommates were home which was fortunate. Sure, you could have gone to your bedroom to be safe. But how could you, when the heat reached you right there in the living room. Like it had happened in the shower a few days ago after Felix had sneaked in to get his lotion. You had told him you didn’t mind when in reality, you did. Just not in the way he might have thought.

That day and in your following fantasy, he hadn’t left, but instead joined you under the hot water.

Humming Felix’s name at the sound of your fingers running through your folds, you internally scolded yourself for thinking this way about him. A boy who was so innocently oblivious, he probably had no idea you even jerked off in the first place. Someone so sweet, he brought you candy when you were on your period, brewed you tea after a long day, or gave you massages when... Well, whenever you wanted one.

You were completely immersed in the scenario you had set up in your head, knot in your stomach tightening. So much so your brain took a second too long to recognise the familiar sound of his keys.

Things went very fast from there.

The door opened and Felix walked in to the sight of you. Rushing your hand out of your shorts, your neckline was red from the heat, your hair messier than when he had left. Mere minutes earlier.

“Felix? What the hell are you doing here?” you questioned, shock written on your features. “I thought you went out.”

“I—“ He scanned the situation and before you could stop him, he figured it out. His eyes narrowed in suspicion. “I went to get some snacks for the movie.”

Oh yes! The memory of your short conversation suddenly came back to you.

Felix had come out of his room, shirtless, recognising the movie playing on the TV in front of you. He had asked you to pause it, so you could watch it together once he came back from the store. Getting you snacks and a bottle of your favourite white, like the perfect roomie he was.

“Were you…” A smirk appeared on Felix’s face as his view wandered down your body to your pants. “Either I’m insane, or you were just masturbating in our living room.” Noticing your eyes shifting and your cheeks reddening in the light of the TV, he yelped. “Oh my God, you were masturbating, weren’t you?”

You struggled finding another excuse that could explain your hands down your pants. Not that it mattered, anyway. Nothing you said, no explanation you could have given, would get your roommate to believe he hadn’t just walked in on you.

Felix placed the grocery bag on the kitchen counter and strode over to the couch, sliding on next to you. The shit-eating grin on his face only heightened your embarrassment. Not so innocent after all, now that he held something over your head.

“Stop being so smug. It’s not like you don’t do it.” You scratched an invisible itch on your neck.

“But I don’t do it out here where everyone can walk in. Do you have no shame?” Felix was teasing you now, the previously cutesy behaviour shifting. You couldn’t quite pinpoint his demeanour, but it almost seemed seductive. Like, he was definitely flirting, and not in his usual, sweet way. If his next words were anything to go by, it felt even more so. “Or did you want me to walk in on you?”

You almost choked on your saliva. “What? No! Of course not.”

The redness on your face darkened further.

Why would he ever suggest that you had masturbated out in the living room on purpose? Unless… Maybe, subconsciously, you had done just that. Perhaps you wanted to make use of the possibility, him walking in on you. So he could finally help you scratch the itch himself. Not his imaginary self, but the real one, in all his glory. Could your brain have betrayed you like that, without you noticing?

You didn’t quite know what to think.

“It’s fine. I won’t tell anyone about this.” Somehow, that relieved you. Not like you had expected Felix to go around, gloating about it. It still relaxed you to hear it from the man himself. “I only have one question, then we can stop talking about it. Forever.”

Your jaw dropped at his words. So he was blackmailing you now, too? Felix, out of all people. Nice Felix, who never hurt a fly. Cute Felix, whose love language were hugs and cuddles. Smug Felix, who somehow had the upper hand right now.

Your kitty purred at his intrigue, surprising even yourself.

“How many times have you jerked off to me?”

You must have had a mini heart attack at that very second. Unfortunately, you didn’t land in heaven. If anything, this was hell.

“What?”

“You heard me,” Felix replied, bottom lip wandering between his teeth. “And I heard you, moaning my name before. So, how often do you think about me?”

“I don’t— I didn’t— I mean— What?” You were sweating now, unable to form simple sentences. And that was before his hand landed on your naked thigh, squeezing. That’s when you lost the ability to breathe, stomach tensing.

“You’re being shy now? Really?” As his fingers drew figure eights onto your skin, they wandered further up your leg until he reached the hem of your shorts. He played with the band, keeping his irises on you, and your kitty hissed. His proximity was a dangerous game. “What if I told you, I’ve been thinking about it, too?”

What. The. Fuck?

He leaned in, lips close enough to feel his breath on you, and you got dizzy. You didn’t remember drinking any alcohol, but you damn well felt like it. As though you had gotten intoxicated, high, and now you were left to deal with the aftermath.

“Been thinking about you so much. Taking you in your room. In the shower. On this very couch. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” His fingers entered your pants, playing with the hem of your underwear. Your breath hitched when his hand cupped you, smirk so close to your face you could hear it. Felix clicked his tongue when he felt your wetness. “I knew it. Not so shy now, are we?”

And you weren’t. Shy, that was. Overwhelmed, sure. Embarrassed, yes. But not shy. Not when you detected the tent in his own sweatpants. Felix wanted this, just like you. Felix was your roommate, best friend and now, potential lover. If anything, you felt most comfortable around him.

The feeling heightened when he gave you a gentle push, urging you to lay back. Felix’s face remained so close to yours, eyes glued to each other as he situated himself above you. His fingers started teasing as he leaned down, faintly pressing his lips to your pulse point. Your eyes stood wide open, searching the ceiling for possible answers to the one question you had.

How the fuck had this happened?

Felix kissed down your body, through the valley of your chest and over your tank top. Right down to your shorts. He must have been able to smell you, but you didn’t care. It was Felix, after all, the boy straight out of your dreams.

“Y/N,” his soft voice called you to catch your attention. When you met his gaze, the world stopped for a moment. The lust had momentarily vanished from his irises and what overtook was care and love. “Tell me to stop, and I will.”

“Don’t.” Your answer couldn’t have come faster, and you meant it. Under no circumstances did you want him to stop. Ever.

With that, the primate inside him gained back control, ridding you of your pants and underwear. All the while, Felix’s stare remained on your face, smiling between kisses he planted on your naked stomach. As though he wanted to capture all your focus and wouldn’t let you divert your eyes for anything.

A last smile sent your way and he dove in.

Your mouth stood agape as you watched him, connect his mouth to your clit, lightly sucking. You spread your legs so he could slot between them, and slot, he did. Key fitting in a lock, he kept your knees apart with his body, the whole couch becoming your playground.

Felix nibbled on your clit like it was sweet candy, gazes locked as his tongue came into play. Prodding, exploring. He looked sinful, like a devilish angle as his blonde locks tickled your bare thighs. A fucking dream-come-true, in the most literal sense.

Licking down your folds, he tasted you, humming in delight. His own personal five course meal.

Early on, you had been taught to never eat with your hands. That it was rude and crude, and ill-mannered. When Felix did it, it was nothing if not delicious. To watch, to hear, his fingers spreading you and entering in soft, gentle strokes.

Soon enough, he was three fingers in, knuckles-deep, petting the sensitive spot so deep you never reached it yourself. And there he was, doing it with so much ease, over and over. Kitty’s new best friend.

For a moment, you lost control, throwing your head back with a loud moan. When Felix squeezed your thigh, gently but determined, you brought your head back.

“Eyes on me, Kitten.”

A whimper at the nickname made him smirk as he scissored you open. His tongue prodded against your opening in sync, delightful as your stomach tensed.

“Oh, fuck—” You brought your hand to his head, tangling your fingers in his hair. Guiding him, at least as much as he let you. “Please.”

Cocking his head, Felix teased you, playfully confused by your words.

“Please, I need you. Inside. Please.”

With one last calm suck on your nub, he snaked his way up your body. Fingers remained inside you for now, distracting you.

“But I already am. You have to be more specific, Kitten.”

You clenched at the words, and he visibly noticed.

“Your cock. I need you inside me. Please, Felix.” If those words hadn’t driven him crazy already, persuading him, your next ones sure did. “Kitten needs your cock.”

He groaned, fingers coming up to touch your lips. You opened them, licking over his moist rings and he lost himself in the sight. “Such crude words for such a cute Kitten.”

Smearing the last of your essence over your mouth, he began licking it off, taking his sweet time. And then finally, after he had already done much more intimate, he kissed you. Careful and collected turned to desperate and chaotic as tongues melted into one.

Kissing Felix was natural, like you had done it so many times before. And you would have continued doing it, if it hadn’t been for the more pressing issues.

When you bucked up into him, rubbing your naked crotch against his clothed one, he smirked into the kiss. “Eager Kitten.”

“Desperate,” you corrected, wrapping your legs around his waist to pull him into you.

Felix drew away to rid himself of his shirt, kneeling on top of you. It must have been the hottest thing you had ever been lucky enough to witness. As he untied the knot in his sweats, your sight remained on his toned torso. Sculptured abs followed a set of muscular pecs and his prominent collar bones. You wanted to kiss every inch of his body, wanted to lick it and bite it, too. That was if he let you.

But not right now. Not when all you wanted was for him to devour you like his favourite desert.

Like the absolute menace he was, Felix tugged the hem of his sweats down, revealing the absence of underwear. And to think he walked around the apartment like that, unsucked. It was a real shame.

He stroked himself a couple of times, the other hand running through his messy locks. An undeniable God in human form.

You might have even been drooling, but before you could check, he hovered over you again. “Like what you see?”

“Mhm,” you hummed, curling upwards to connect your lips again.

With your legs still around his hips, it was easy for Felix to position himself. Your walls were clenching already, craving penetration. Some relief. Anything. It didn’t actually matter, as long as it was Felix doing it.

“You know,” he mumbled between kisses, tugging at your lip. It was in that moment, as he was so close, that you noticed the desire in his eyes. But it wasn’t just desire, but so much more. Adoration. Longing. Attraction. Love. “If you had told me about your secret from the start, we could have done this months ago.”

How he had come to know about your infatuation? You had no head to figure it out right that moment.

“However, we do have a lot to make up for. Better get to it, right?”

When Felix slid into you, your eyes rolled back into your head as your breath got caught in your lungs. Finally, after months of distanced yearning, he scratched the same itch that had plagued you for so long.

And your kitty was satisfied at last.

Masterlist Leave your thought

[tojiwrd]

5: fate is fickle ; gojo satoru

pairing gojo satoru x fem!reader

summary when satoru breaks off your engagement, you understand and accept it. but when he marries someone else, you don't understand because he didn't want to be tied down.

content warnings mentions toxic family, mentions of forced marriage, emotional infidelity, bad friends (:((), and i think that's it! lmk if i missed anything

word count 3.7k

a/n i think this is my fav chapter so far lov you guys sm thank you so so much for the support on this!!

send thoughts ↞ prev next ↠ to be added to taglist

Spending more time with Suguru after months of occasional contact was easier than you assumed it would be. You, usually accompanied by Reina, would go to his art gallery in the evenings with a cup of coffee for yourself and him. It seemed too similar to old times, but you always chose to ignore the video reel of memories that pressed play as soon as you opened the glass doors to the gallery of how you and Satoru went there for the mere purpose of annoying Suguru.

This was one of the days your elbows were resting against one of the thin marble tables in the basement—which, you had to admit, was crafted to perfection to be Suguru’s space in his gallery��and mindlessly scrolling through your phone while he worked on his laptop. 

“Yo.” You heard him call from his desk just a few feet away from you. “I have to run out to pick up a late shipment. I’ll be back in like—twenty minutes? You can stay here, we'll meet up with Nanami once I get back.”

Nanami Kento was another new addition into your life, and you’d be lying if you said he wasn’t the most exciting one. It wasn’t that you hadn’t heard about him before—you had, occasionally from Satoru who was his acquaintance back when they were classmates—but he was fresh and new which made it a lot easier to open up to him. You, Kento, and Suguru had plans for dinner tonight with Reina, too, who backed out a few hours ago because her mother had arrived from her month-long trip. 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Go ahead,” you replied, sending him a small smile over your shoulder as he gave you a short wave, gathered his car key, and went upstairs. 

You just continued swiping through your phone, replying to some text messages from earlier this week that didn’t particularly mean much. You’d spent the past few days at home to only sleep, choosing to spend time with Reina, Suguru, and Nanami. You had been in touch with Shoko, too, but hadn’t found a time to meet up with her since she’d gone abroad for an internship for a couple months. Still, it had taken you a long time before you finally began talking to the friends you had that were connected to Satoru. 

You heard the small ding of the sound the system made when the door before the basement unlocks through the keycard and furrowed your brows. It hadn’t even been ten minutes since Suguru left, there was no chance he was back. It was followed by heavy thumps of footsteps going down the stairs, and you only had to see the black lace-up shoes to know who it was. 

You wanted to scramble for your things and hide underneath a table, but you didn’t have enough time because Satoru saw you the exact moment his face came into view when he stepped on the third-last step. 

“O—Oh. I didn’t know you were here.”

You tried to clear your voice, to pretend that this situation was no big deal. Of course, running into your boyfriend of three years and fiance for a few more months who broke it off with you on a random Tuesday was, in one way or another, a big deal. “He left to get a shipment. I don’t think he’ll be back soon.”

For some reason, for some fucking reason he walked closer to you. You had said that Suguru would take a while because you wanted Satoru to take the hint and leave, not so he could step towards you—closer and closer till you could look into that sea in his eyes almost clearly— and take a seat three chairs down from you. No. You didn’t want him near you, especially not after the night on the balcony. 

“Guess I’ll wait, then.” His voice was honey. It was so smooth, so soft that your ears would feel warm whenever he spoke. 

“You can just call him.”

There was always something you believed when it came to Satoru ever since he began pursuing you before your relationship: he was persistent. He would leave little notes all over your room that you’d find in drawers days after they’d been placed, asking you to go on a date, to give him one chance. Some notes, you found days after you went on said date with him, and that was when you realized how he truly was persistent. It wasn’t just when it came to you, though. When you, Satoru, Suguru, and Shoko went to a bar with an indoor mini golf area, it had taken all three of you to manipulate the ball’s trajectory when he wasn’t looking just so he could pass the hardest route. It was two in the morning and you were ridden with sleep—it wasn’t your fault. When Satoru put his mind to something, he almost always achieved it. 

“No point. I’ll just wait—I haven’t seen him in a while.” Just as you knew, Satoru wasn’t backing down. 

You didn’t know his motives, and you’d tried really hard to not dig deep into his actions to try to find out. Satoru always haunted all your questions, he was like a ghost within your body constantly testing you, trying to get you to question why he did what he did. 

You remembered that you and Satoru were once a blank page, not an entire book that had come to a tragic, unfulfilling end. You tried to erase every word, but they were written in pen and the traces always lingered. So, the only thing you could do was close the book and keep it somewhere far from your sight, but you couldn’t do that when he showed up in front of you. Not as a ghost but as a person, reminding you he was still here, real and moving, and he had pieces of you that you would never get back. 

“I’m leaving,” you murmured, deciding that you had the choice to leave it all behind. To leave him all behind. He could haunt you from within, but you couldn’t let him materialize once again into your life. 

“Y/N, stop,” he said, arms reaching out to you when you walked past him to go to the staircase but stopping as though he realized it was wrong. 

And you replied, “What?” because even though you knew you shouldn’t, a part—a big part—of you was still left in his car where he asked you for the engagement ring. A part of you still couldn’t let him go entirely because you were never good at leaving things behind.

“I want to… apologize,” he began, running his fingers through his unkempt hair. He lifted his hand when you opened your mouth, beginning to say something, and he said, “You don’t have to say anything, okay? Please, just give me five—two minutes of your time. I just need to talk to you.”

And like he told you to, you didn’t say anything because if Satoru wanted to talk for five—two minutes, then you would let him. 

“I got married,” he said, as though he was in a daze within his own mind. You scoffed, but didn’t say anything. “And that… that was fucked up. You didn’t deserve hearing about the engagement three months after I ended ours.” 

Although it was all true, although you had relived all those moments inside your head, hearing Satoru say them made them real. This wasn’t Reina helping you get over him, this was the him you tried to get over for months. It was humiliating knowing he knew exactly what he did, though there was no doubt he didn’t before this. He knew better than anyone how you felt without talking to you because he was there, holding your hand when a stray tear left your eye as if he was still yours.

You still didn’t say anything.

“I met Hana a month before I ended it with you.” You weren’t sure you could hear this. If somebody held a knife to your chest at that moment, you probably would still stand still, completely silent because there were no words left in your mouth. “I didn’t intend on getting engaged with her, Y/N. I meant it when I said I felt I couldn’t be tied down but—” He paused, as if he didn’t want to continue. 

And he didn’t continue, at least for a few minutes that felt like long, grueling hours. 

“But she was new, and I hadn’t felt that… newness for so long. Not since I’d met you. And she said things, Y/N, that made me think we couldn’t get married, that we couldn’t work.” His eyes looked at your face, and it was equivalent to a thousand needles piercing your skin because he waited for you to say something, to agree? But you couldn’t, not even after he had broken you completely and left you on the side of the road like you meant nothing. Because in your stupid, twisted head, you could have worked. If he wanted. 

He continued, taking your silence as a cue. “When I ended it with you, I—I didn’t want to. I swear. You deserved better, and I realized that I didn’t deserve to be anywhere near you. I couldn’t look at you without feeling guilty about the second-thoughts I was having because another girl made me rethink.”

This wasn’t what you expected today, was the only thought swirling through the tendrils of your mind.

“You don’t have to say you understand because I don’t either. I’m not sorry for ending it with you, Y/N, because you didn’t deserve me after all I did, after all I thought about us. But I am sorry for lying to you and, in a way, making our relationship seem meaningless because you probably thought I moved on too quickly.”

“You did,” you said, surprising yourself with the finality of your words. But you couldn’t take it back now that you had made yourself an almost-coherent member of this conversation.

“What?”

“You did move on, Gojo. Too quickly. I don’t think that, I know that and you do, too.”

He tugged his lower lip between his teeth, and you looked anywhere but at his downcast face. It was hard to admit it to him because you couldn’t stop your words, not when he was piling on brick after brick preparing to tumble it all down with you on the other side. If you stayed there any longer—

“I liked Hana then, but the marriage wasn’t what I expected.” You leaned back against the wall, placing some more distance between the two of you. Satoru seemed as though he was clutching at the flimsiest of straws to keep you there, to let you let him talk. “My father—he pushed for it and after losing you, I didn’t fight against it. I thought a marriage like this would hurt less than us getting married and—”

“And what?” you prompted.

“And having to end. I don’t know—I didn’t want us to fail, Y/N.”

You smiled wryly, understanding there was nothing more left for him to explain. “Okay.”

“Okay? That’s… it?”

“I didn’t question why you did what you did before, didn’t try to get answers. I’m not going to change after you’ve given me those answers I never asked for.” At that point, you were looking to find any words to make a swift exit, but you still remained rooted in your spot. 

He sighed, fingers reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “You’re saying you would rather not know?”

Of course, you wanted to know, but you had kept yourself from looking for answers. You knew that whatever ran below the surface of Satoru’s flimsy, no-good, unbelievable reason to end your engagement would hurt, and you were always good at taking what he said at face-value. Obviously, you were right but that didn’t grant you the satisfaction of a person whose beliefs were just proven right would. 

“I’m saying I’m over it, Satoru.” Your voice was convincing enough. "And if you want a successful marriage, maybe you should tell your wife that you got involved with her while you were engaged to me. I'm not the only one who you should be apologizing to."

As soon as you turned your back towards him and headed for the stairs, the door on top clicked open and Suguru gave you a wide smile and wave when he saw you on the other end.

It was funny, real fucking funny, how on a random Tuesday, every question that had plagued your mind like a ceaseless tornado over almost two years was answered by the harbinger of pain himself. You had been so deeply lost in your own soul, and even a person drowning felt uneasy when pulled back up into the air. Satoru pulled you out and now, he stared at you as if he was a friend who offered you a single piece of a chip because you were starving while he ate an entire packet of it. You weren’t sure how he felt but, with the way he looked at you, you were sure that some immature, adolescent part of him that’s growth stunted in middle school truly believed he had done you right. By telling you the truth two years later. 

You didn’t notice Suguru had walked down the steps and taken notice of Satoru and was now flashing his eyes between the two of you as if you were a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. You weren’t. 

“Satoru, man. What the fuck are you doing here?” Suguru asked, and you should’ve made your way up the stairs and away from them but you stayed put. Your mind somersaulted, making excuses for yourself to yourself that you had plans with Suguru anyway, and you would leave with him once he makes Satoru leave.

“I just wanted to hang,” Satoru replied, shrugging his shoulders. 

Suguru inhaled a deep breath and you could see the corners of his ears turning a dark, angry shade of red in annoyance as he stared his friend down. “Just leave for now, dude. I’ve got plans.”

You didn’t look at Satoru, but you felt his gaze on you as his footsteps reached closer to the stairs. You moved, not wanting to have any unnecessary contact with him. As he reached you, he halted his steps and looked at you and you could have buried yourself right then into a hole because you hated this. 

“I know I’m not in the position to ask for anything but I want to tell you, again, that I really don’t want you to hate me. We don’t ever have to talk again, if you don’t want to, but please don’t hate me.”

You looked at his eyes, then stared at him for a moment longer. You laughed, it was bitter and held a certain form of venom you had never shown Satoru, at the sincerity in his features. “Say what you just said but slower, just so you can also comprehend how utterly senseless you sound.”

A hint of annoyance flashed across his features before he tamped it down and shook his head. He started heading up the stairs, not bidding Suguru or you a goodbye, and you sighed in relief. 

“Y/N, I—” Suguru started, but you cut him off by pushing him by his shoulders in annoyance. “Woah, woah. What did I do?”

“You didn’t tell me!” you exclaimed, your voice finally coming back to you after whatever-that-was. “He cheated, Suguru! And you didn’t tell me.” You were saying your thoughts exactly as they leaped through your mind, barely comprehending that you had resorted to punching—albeit lightly—Suguru’s chest as you closed your eyes. 

Everything was blank, and for a moment you were convinced you had lost a wire inside your brain throughout this entire ordeal. 

“Hey, listen,” Suguru said, his arms reaching out to gently grab onto your shoulders. “You kept on saying you don’t wanna dig deeper and all that bullshit once the two of you broke up. And you were doing good, Y/N. You know how long it took you to start acting like yourself again? Four months. I didn’t want to ruin your process because you were healing.”

You gritted your teeth and said, “You had no right, Suguru. And you had no right to assume when I moved on because it didn’t take me just four months. If your—if your fiance cheated on you and didn’t tell you, I wouldn’t keep it from you.” Your voice trailed off as you stared into his eyes, and that was when you’d realized you truly couldn’t rely on him because he was Satoru’s friend first and yours second. 

You had—in great fashion—run away from Suguru’s art gallery before he could even form a defense to your words. At that point, you were sure he wouldn’t be showing up to dinner with Nanami because that would not be a good moment for the three of you. You had dug for your phone and texted Nanami, telling him that you’ll be at the restaurant in ten minutes to which he’d instantly replied saying he’ll be there in five.

It didn’t take long for you to drive and reach the restaurant, which is why you were sitting across from Kento who looked more curious than anything. You tried to avoid his watchful gaze, though he didn’t say anything. That might have made it tenfold uncomfortable because he often came to his own conclusions, without asking any questions, and ran with them. 

“Stop staring,” you muttered, fingers absentmindedly flipping through the menu. “And decide what you’re going to eat.”

“I already know,” he replied, unmoving with his stare. 

“You and Geto fight?” he asked as soon as you’d both placed your order with the waiter. He raised a brow when you tilted your head, feigning confusion. “You can tell me, I don’t give a fuck.”

You laughed at the lightness of his words. “Why do you think we fought?”

He let out a chuckle, barely audible, and took his phone out. “Because he isn’t here? And because he texted me and said ‘sorry, can’t make it.’ And he said you two were coming together and his text was sent the same time you said you were on your way.”

“Okay, genius,” you drawl, resting your arms casually on the wooden table. “I guess it could be considered a fight,” you admitted.

His eyes flickered with the slightest hint of interest but it was gone the next second. “Oh, yeah? Lover’s quarrel?”

“God, shut up.”

“Don’t go thinking I’m God just yet,” he muttered, a smirk playing on his full lips.

You threw the napkin in front of you at his face which he, unfortunately, caught with his hand. “Me and Suguru aren’t even friends like that,” you said, almost believing it. Truth was, it was the heat of the moment and you wanted to clutch at every strand of dignity to make it seem like what Suguru did didn’t hurt, alongside with what you now knew Satoru did, too. 

“Uh huh,” Kento sarcastically went along. “So what happened?”

You debated on whether or not you should tell him the entire story, knowing that he was friends with Suguru and sort-of knew Satoru. But there wasn’t anything wrong with confiding in a friend, right? You chose to give him bits and pieces from the day—about how Satoru, your ex-fiance wanted to talk and give you a whole rundown of how he pretty much fell in love with another girl while you were engaged—which slowly got you talking about the few months after the breakup and Satoru’s new engagement. By the time the two of you were about to order dessert, you had told him pretty much everything—not without being prompted though. As soon as the two of you moved on, he’d say something like that fucker’s so stupid. What did he say after that? It was almost like a conversation with Reina, but with Kento it felt different. 

He’d look at you every so often while you talked, a glint present in his eye that usually wasn’t there. He’d run his fingers through his blond hair and slightly lift the direction of his eyes to meet your eye, and if you hadn’t been shit-talking your ex’s best friend, you would’ve felt the warmth radiating through your body under his gaze more. 

“I meant it,” Kento started, chewing the last bit of the cake you forced him to order. “That Gojo kid is stupid for that shit.”

You laughed, biting your lip to contain the blush that crept up your cheeks. “Calm down, otherwise I might start to think you like me.”

He looked at you with a blank stare then tilted his head to the side, as if trying to read you. “You’re dumb.”

“What?”

“You actually think I’m not interested in you?” he asked, then laughed as if it was the most preposterous thing he had heard. You thought about it for a moment, and realized every attempt at flirting he made, you brushed off as a joke. That’s just Kento, you’d kept on saying to yourself. You’d ignored every attempt he made because the waters after a three-year-relationship were tumultuous, and it was never your first thought that Kento was truly interested everytime he made a comment slightly suggestive.

It took you a moment to realize you still had to reply to him, and in that moment you allowed yourself to feel the warmth underneath his gaze. “What?”

“I’m not saying I’m about to drop to one knee and propose or something. I’m just telling you there’s interest present.”

You weren’t surprised; only Kento could make something that people always shy away from saying seem so easy. You smiled. You weren’t sure if this could work, and you weren’t even sure if this conversation would ever lead to anything in the future, but it felt like a welcome recess from every other part of the random Tuesday. For a moment, it was easy to forget Satoru, Satoru’s betrayal, and Suguru’s behavior. Kento had come into your life during, what you’d consider, a limbo period where you were still navigating the almost-two-years-ago-breakup and its aftermath. He was fresh, and he was new. Perhaps that was the newness Satoru was talking about.

And maybe there was something innately weird about Kento, someone who was interested in you, to listen to you talk about your ex and then tell you he’s interested in you, but you’d always been a fan of the unexpected.

“Don’t go all quiet,” he murmured, twirling his glass of water around absentmindedly.

“There’s interest on my end, too.”

[felice-jaganshi]

My Fallen Apple

Lucifer X Reader

Chapter 1

You weren't originally supposed to be in hell. You only ended up here after telling Adam you refused to be his Third wife. He was a bitter prick about it, and shoved you out of heaven. Last thing you saw as you fell, was the look of shock and regret on his face. Not that you cared. He didn't deserve your forgiveness or pity…

Next thing you knew when you opened your eyes was pain. A burning sensation from your back. Oh fuck, your wings! They- they're not supposed to bend like that! You scream in agony and despair, realizing you'd broken and bent your wings! There was no way to fly back up to heaven now!

“Someone… Someone help!” You cried out, hoping maybe somehow one of your friends in heaven could hear your prayers. But… it was pointless. No prayers from hell could ever reach heaven, not even from an angel. Now here you were… fallen.

“Whoa! That looks pretty bad.” A voice, footsteps getting closer!

“Please! I- I don't belong here!” You tried to sit up, barely managing it with a sob. You look up to see who the voice belonged to.

“I'll say, you're in my garden, almost landed in my rose bushes too.” A short man with blonde hair frowned at you with his arms crossed. “I swear, just because my wife has been off working for seven years, doesn't mean I'm magically single! How did you get in here?”

“I… fell… who are you?” He looked surprised by your words.

“Who am I?! You're kidding right?” You shook your head, and he got serious.

“where did you fall from?”

“Heaven…” He took a deep breath through his nose.

“I see…” He started walking towards you, and you started to pull your wings around to shield yourself, having forgotten they were broken. This made the firey pain flare back up! You hadn't noticed it go numb earlier, but now, you wished you hadn't moved them! You couldn't help the whimper that escaped your lips. It made him stop moving. 

“H- hey, I'm… I'm not gonna hurt you.” His voice was soft and low. “I promise, I just wanna help. Will you let me?” He held out his empty hands, waiting for permission before moving even a single step closer.

“Y-you still didn't answer my question. Who are you?” You had a sinking feeling…

“Me? Oh, nobody. Just the big boss of hell himself!” He chuckled at his own humor before shooting you a grin, “Call me Lucifer. And you are?”

Before you could answer, the world went dark, and you fell unconscious again.

The next time you open your eyes, you're in bed. A dream then. Thank God! But why have a nightmare about getting kicked out of heaven? Was it a warning Adam was gonna be a pissy shit when you gave him your answer today? You finally open your eyes and realize… this isn't your room. And… this isn't your bed! You sit up, wings curling around yourself as a shield and looking around frantically! Everything was extravagant and gilded! Some kind of palace suite? Then… oh. OH FUCK! YOU REALLY DID MEET LUCIFER!

“Oh hey, you're up! Great, hungry? I made pancakes.” The devil himself entered the room with a syrup soaked stack, steaming and fresh. Before you could refuse him, your stomach growled loudly, answering for you.

“I didn't think the devil would cook his own meals…” was all you could think to say. He set the tray in front of you, there was even a glass of juice.

“Why wouldn't I? Best way to make sure no one poisons me! Haha, not that it'd actually kill me.” He smiled, “oh, and you're welcome for healing you by the way. Once you're done eating, you can head back on up home.” He smiled and made a wing flapping motion with his arms. You giggle, it was kind of cute. He was so tiny, and handsome in a cute way. Not at all how heaven described him.

“You're… different from how heaven said you'd be.” You say, before eating some of the food he'd been generous enough to share. They were apple flavored.

“Oh really? And how is heaven describing me to you younger angels these days?” He raised an eyebrow, genuinely curious. 

“They said you would be cruel. Take joy in the pain and suffering of others. That you didn't know how to laugh or smile, only how to hate and hurt… but, you just proved all of that wrong.”

Lucifer was shocked, “I… that's how they think of me? My own siblings are telling people this?” He looked hurt, gripping a hand to his heart. “Mikey and Gabe… they know I'm not… that I'd never…”

You got up from the bed, you couldn't stand seeing him like this, on the edge of tears from your own words! You should have found a gentler way to… ah fuck it, too late for that now. You pull him into a hug, wrapping your wings around him.

“I'm sorry.” You kept your tone soft and genuine, and that seemed to be the last straw. He hugged back and started bawling into your shoulder! 

Now here you are, fallen from heaven, showing sympathy to the devil. You rubbed his back in soothing circles. “It's alright, let it all out, I got you.”

You weren't originally supposed to be in hell, but it didn't seem like such a bad place to be really.

(This was written for a very dear friend of mine. She's crazy for Lucifer, and I'm crazy about her so... yeah! Hope you all like it as much as she has!)

[livesworthlivingau]

Lives Worth Living Chapter 7

Spoilers for ISAT as a whole, including Two Hats. I'm not great with slice of life stuff so I'm just supplementing it with tons of Isafrin content, hope you enjoy!

(As your nearing the end of your walk of shame, you perk up to the faint sound of your family shouting in the distance.)

"Siffriiiiiiin!!!!"

"FRIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!"

"Hey Sif, where are yah buddy?"

(You take a deep breath, slowly coming out of the tree line to make yourself known. You don't make eye contact. You feel bad enough about leaving, let alone coming back empty handed.)

"There you are Siffrin, you had us worried sick."

"Yeah, Sif, where'd you vanish off to?" (Isa asked in his always so kind and caring tone, not an ounce of judgement in his voice. You just walk over to him, gently laying your head against his chest. You didn't care that this was out of character, you needed him right now...)

"I thought... I thought Loop was here..." (You say in a meek whisper, before feeling his large arms wrapping around you in a comforting gesture.)

"I-It's alright Sif... We'll find them eventually, I'm sure!" (He reassures you, quickly getting over the bit of fluster you caused by your sudden closeness.)

"Y-Yeah... We'll find them..." (You mumbled out, but even you are having a hard time believe that at this point.)

---------------------------------------------------------

(Everyone wanted to make sure you were well rested after the ordeal they all went through yesterday. Despite it being practically a whole lifetime ago, so many pieces of it still stick in your mind, especially now that you're back here... You're finally back in your and Isa's room you were staying in that night. Everyone gave you plenty of space after this morning, though you're not even sure if you wanted that. You take off your cloak and hat, instinctively reaching for your ears and catching nothing... Right... we... we're not there yet... You take a couple deep breaths to calm yourself, sitting down in your bed. You look back down at your hand, pausing for a moment before making the sign for calling Loop again, hesitating before bringing it back to your face.)

"Loop... Are you-"

["Hello~!"]

"LOOP! Y-"

["The cosmic entity you are trying to reach is currently unavailable, please leave a message at the tone and we'll get back to you just as soon as we can~!" beeeeep]

"..." (You take a moment to recover from the jarring tone you just heard, then deciding to leave a message as instructed.)

"Loop... I'm s-" (You cut yourself off, you know they don't want to hear anymore apologies.)

"... I wasn't being completely honest when you asked me why I wasn't freaking out earlier... The truth is I was terrified. I was frozen stiff when I woke up, I couldn't bring myself to move... and then I heard you, Loop... Your voice snapped me out of it. I missed you so blinding much Loop, for all these years I never stopped thinking about you, caring about you, always hoping I'd one day see you again... I just wanted to make sure you knew that, how much you really mean to me... I hope you're okay..." (You release the sign before moving your hand over to wipe your tears, giving a bit of a sniffle.)

"Sif? You alright?" (Isa chimes in, the door starting to creak open just a bit.)

"Heh... Hard to say honestly." (You answer with a light chuckle through your soft sobbing.)

"Do you... want some company, tonight?" (You just respond with a light nod, Isa slipping fully into the room and closing the door behind himself.)

[tkwrites]

First Fight - Quinn Hughes x ofc

Title: First Fight

Author: Tory / @tkwrites 

Relationship: Pre-established: Quinn Hughes x Original female character 

Warnings: Angst, history of a bad relationship 

Summary: Quinn and Sarah have their first fight - we learn more about Quinn’s previous relationship

Word count: 3000

Comments: Angst isn’t something I feel I write very well, so if you have any ideas of how to make this better, I would welcome any and all constructive feedback. 

First Fight

A Quinn & Sarah Snapshot

Hey, I met someone. I want you to meet her when you’re in town. 

Sending this text was like setting off a bomb in his life. Not because Quinn thought it would destroy things, but it would open up this fated little world to outside forces, something he’d protected against so far.  

He wanted Brady and Emma’s opinion first before he started introducing the idea of Sarah into the rest of his relationships. They had been the only ones brave enough to tell him they didn’t like June. Everyone else in his life told him they felt the same only after he’d called it off completely. His own family hadn’t even told him. 

Everything with Sarah felt different than it had with June. He didn’t expect the same outcome, but he wanted to be sure. June taught him he couldn’t always trust his own judgment. 

Things with June were always complicated. In so many ways, their relationship had been easy. She entertained herself for the most part, looked good on his arm, and the sex wasn’t bad, but it never went beyond that. Quinn used to think their relationship could lead to marriage, but she never gave them that chance. 

Looking back, he wasn’t sure if she ever actually liked him. She liked the lifestyle he offered, and liked being seen with him at events and after games. She would often flirt with other people, even after they decided to be exclusive and was happy to tell him how there were taller, more handsome, better dressed men she could get with when they fought. A few days later, she would always come back apologizing, telling him she loved him and that she wanted to be with him. 

At one point, Brady had told him he didn’t want to hear about their relationship drama anymore. “You don’t even like her, Q,” he’d said, exasperated, “like, not just her body, but her.” 

Eventually, Quinn had been forced to admit he was right. 

They’d been on and off for more than a year, and it never went anywhere other than around in circles. They had the same fights about how long he was gone, how she wanted him to dress better, and that she was flirting with other guys all the time. It was exhausting, and not in a way that made it worthwhile.

You met someone? Brady responded. Who? When? 

Her name is Sarah. We met two months ago. We've been dating since then. 

It wasn't totally unlike Quinn to keep something so private, but the fact that it had been two months and he'd kept it all to himself made Brady wonder. 

Do you think Emma could come out? 

If he was asking for Emma's opinion, this was serious. Quinn trusted her judgment. 

I'll ask her. 

As soon as Emma’s flight was confirmed, Quinn brought it up while Sarah was at his house. 

When he'd asked her to come over earlier in the day, she had initially turned him down, explaining that she had a deadline to meet. 

“I just want to see you,” he said. “You could do your homework here.”

“I don't know if that would work…” 

She wanted to see him, too, especially knowing he was headed out of town again too soon for her liking, but finals and year end deadlines were coming up swiftly. She didn’t have the time, especially now that she was spending so much time with Quinn, to put things off. 

“Could we just give it a try? I'll leave you alone until you're finished, I swear. And then we can spend some time together.”

She'd agreed, and was pleasantly surprised to find that he kept every word of his promise. 

By the time her first draft of the research publication she was writing was done, Sarah had been at Quinn's table for more than two hours. True to his word, he left her alone other than to bring her a plate of cut vegetables and kiss her forehead around the one hour mark.  

Now, she wandered through the penthouse, looking for him. 

“Quinn?” she finally asked when she didn’t find him downstairs. 

“I'm up here.”

She climbed the stairs and found him in the gaming room. It was where he had all of his video game equipment set up, along with squishy arm chairs, couches and bean bags. He had enough controllers, he could probably host the entire team. 

Glancing away from the screen, he asked, “you're done already?”

She shrugged, “I write fast.”

She did. He was impressed. “I’m almost done with this level, and I'll be done.”

“No rush.” 

She wandered down the hall to one of the guest bathrooms. When she got back, he'd tossed his headset and controller away from him and was standing. 

The hug he wrapped her in was warm and comforting. She snuck her hands under his shirt just so she could feel his warm skin.

They kissed for a long time, standing in that gaming room. 

As they walked down the stairs hand in hand, he broached the subject, “my best friend, Brady is going to be in town on a road trip from Ottawa Thursday. I hoped we could all go to dinner together.”

“Oh.” 

“What?” 

“I have a cohort review on Thursday night.”

“So? Can't you just move it?”

“No, I can't. It took us a week just to find a time that worked for everyone, and I already told them I would be there.”

Quinn pulled his bottom lip into his mouth, thinking. “Just - he's only in town Thursday and Friday, and they leave Friday night. His wife Emma is coming in.” 

“I'm sorry, Quinn, I wish you had given me more advanced notice.” 

“Can’t you meet with your cohort after class or something?” he asked, “you all live here.” 

Sarah bristled, feeling more and more disrespected as this conversation went on. “Quinn,” her tone was a bit sharper than she intended and she tried to bite it back, “it’s not my fault you didn’t tell me about this until two days beforehand. I can’t just move my schedule around because you forgot.” 

“I didn’t forget,” he said indignantly. 

“Then why didn’t you tell me before?” 

“We just made the plan!”

“You can’t just make plans without consulting me! I have a life and responsibilities outside of you.” 

He blew a breath through his nose, “I know that.”

“Do you? Because it seems like you're expecting me to just drop everything for your schedule.” 

He groaned. “That’s not what I mean. Brady and Emma will only be in town for a day and a half. They live on the other side of the country, and I want them to meet you, and you to meet them, and you’re saying you can’t because of some school thing with people who live here and could reschedule.” 

Sarah pursed her lips. “So it’s up to me to reschedule.” 

“They’re going back home on Friday after the game!” 

“Could we not have lunch on Friday or get together before the game?” 

Quinn paused. It wasn’t ideal, but he supposed it could work. “I mean, I guess so.” 

She nodded. “So when I said I have plans, your first call is to ask me to cancel them, rather than seeing if there’s something that will work for everyone.”

“Jesus, Sarah. I just want you to meet my friends, and dinner would give us more time.” 

“I get that, I really do, but this review is really important, and I’d just…” traitorous tears rose to her eyes. They always did when she was frustrated. “I’d just like you to respect that I have important stuff going on that I can’t cancel.” 

Shit. Now she was crying. Over something he did. Fuck. 

They were real tears, too - frustrated ones she was trying to sniffle back - not like the over dramatic tears June would dredge up in a fight. 

“I know you’re used to being single, but you need to respect my time, too. You’re not the only one working around a demanding schedule.”

The truth of it socked him in the stomach. June worked as an influencer. Other than modeling gigs, which weren't that often, she could change her schedule at the drop of a hat, and often did. She liked the spontaneity of it. He had rarely planned ahead with her.

His shoulders sagged, “I’m sorry.” 

“Thank you. It’s just, I already move so much stuff around because of your hockey schedule.”

That made him stop short. “You do?” 

“Yes! I have to move my work and my research so we can spend time together while you’re in town. Last week, I canceled this same review group so I could come over here before you went off to the midwest, and I can’t cancel it again.” 

“I didn't know that. I can't know stuff you don't tell me, Sarah.”

“It’s not really even about the review, it’s about -” he scoffed and she stopped talking, pursing her lips together.

Quinn crossed his arms over his chest. How could he have known she changed this meeting before? How could she possibly be mad at him for something he didn’t know?

They stood that way, at the bottom of his fancy, metal and glass stairs, each staring at the other for a long while. The longer they were there, the longer Quinn stayed silent, the more frustrated Sarah became. Didn’t he understand she was upset about the lack of respect in this conversation?

“Maybe I should go,” she said. Not because she didn’t want to talk things over, or figure them out, but because she knew herself well enough to know that with his silence and her frustration dipping into anger, she would say something she didn’t really mean if she didn't step away. 

Great. This is just great, Quinn thought. If she wanted to leave, fine. He wouldn’t stop her. 

It was only after she’d left with a sad, emotionless smile, and he’d torn the cap off of a beer from the fridge that the reality of what happened came crashing in on him. 

He let her walk away. Over a dinner - over wanting to be right about a dinner. He was such a fucking idiot. 

In the midst of his realization, his mind grasped hold of something his Grandpa had told him when he had asked for relationship advice the summer before. “Quinn,” he’d said, “I like to ask myself, is this my pride fighting? And is it worth whatever the outcome will be?”

With June, that line was always a little blurred. Right now, though, he could see he’d clearly crossed it. And being right wasn’t worth the outcome this had caused. She’d been gone for 15 minutes, and was likely already on a train home. If he left now, he might make it there when she did.

He grabbed his keys and ran out of the house. 

Once he’d followed another resident into the building and ran up to her apartment, he knocked, frantically. 

Eunice opened the door. 

“Hey, Quinn…” she said, slowly. 

“Is Sarah not here yet?” he asked. 

“No. I thought she was going to be at your place tonight.” 

“She was. I mean, she was there, but -” he didn’t want to get into this with Eunice. 

“Did you fight?” she asked, cocking her head to one side, and looking at him like he’d just proved her wrong in all the ways she’d been hoping he wouldn’t. 

“We argued, and I came to apologize. Do you mind if I wait for her?” 

“I mean, sure,” she said, opening the door further, “but you could just call her, you know?” 

In his haste, he hadn’t even considered it. Would she even answer if he did? Reaching into his pocket he found he’d left his phone at home. 

Sarah walked from the train station, feeling lead-footed. This was a horrible day. Failed experiments all day at work, and the time actually spent with Quinn was spent arguing. Maybe she had been too harsh on him. She hadn’t told him about moving her plans last week, and that was on her. She’d jumped on the defensive too quickly.

She paused before going into the lobby of her building, digging her phone out of her bag. She didn't want to make this call with Eunice in the house. It rang seven times before the generic voicemail picked up. 

“Damnit,” she swore as she pulled her keys from her jacket pocket to buzz into the lobby. 

Eunice greeted her nearly as soon as she walked in. “Hey, Quinn is here,” she said, quietly, catching the door before it could shut. “He said you argued. He’s waiting in your room, but if you don’t want to see him, go in my room and I’ll get rid of him.” 

Tears pooled in her eyes as much for Eunice’s care and concern as for Quinn showing up. “He’s here?” 

She nodded.

Pushing past Eunice, Sarah ran down the hall to her bedroom. 

He jumped to his feet as soon as the door opened. 

“Quinn, I’m sorry,” she said at the same time he was saying, “I’m such an idiot.”

She let out a watery little laugh, and he went to her, wrapping her in his arms, backpack and all. 

“I’m sorry,” he said into her hair. “I never want you to feel like your time isn’t important.” 

She pulled out of his embrace to look into his eyes. He looked a little like a lost puppy. Her heart twisted. “I’m sorry I got so defensive.”

Quinn shook his head, “You had every right to be defensive. I shouldn't have expected you to just change your plans like that. That wasn’t fair.” 

She gave a hearty sniff and tucked her face into his shoulder. 

They stood there for a while, swaying gently. 

“Does this mean I'm forgiven?” Quinn asked after a few moments of silence.

As she pulled back to look into his face, she said, “yes.”

He pulled her against him. “I'm sorry,” he said again. “I’ll call Brady tomorrow and figure something out that works for all of us.”

Her grip tightened around his waist. “Thank you.” 

They stood in that little bubble for a long while. Soaking in each other and letting the bad day roll off. 

Feeling settled, he couldn't hold back his question any longer, “do you golf?”

She stepped out of his embrace and finally took off her backpack, “what?”

“You have clubs,” he gestured to her door, where a purple bag of golf clubs was tucked behind it. He hadn't noticed it until today, when he'd been alone in her room, distracting himself by looking around at everything Sarah held in high enough esteem to keep in her space. 

“Oh, yeah. My dad taught me. We used to golf every Sunday as a family. I was on my high-school golf team and walked on in undergrad. I got a scholarship my senior year.”

“Really?” he said, beaming like a little kid. 

“Yeah. I don't have much time to go these days, but I'm pretty decent.” 

Quinn knew enough about her to know that if she said she was decent, she was much better than she was letting on. She often downplayed her talents and accomplishments.

“Why?”

“I love golf,” he confessed. “Want to go together when I get back next week? I could get us an evening tee time.”

“I like the sound of that,” she said, smiling as she leaned up to kiss him. 

They broke apart at a wrenching sound from the hallway. 

“You guys are so disgustingly cute,” Eunice said. She was smiling as she said it, though, obviously happy things had worked out. “I'm making Mac and cheese if you want to stay,” she said with a nod at Quinn. 

He glanced at Sarah. 

“Stay,” she urged. “I make a mean turkey sandwich, and believe me, you don't want to miss out on Eunice’s mac and cheese.” 

Even though he had practice in the morning, and knew all the carbs and dairy would make him sluggish, he agreed. 

“Where did you even park?”

“On Nelson, across from the courts.”

“There’s no parking there, you’ll get towed.”

“I just found a free curb and ran up,” he confessed. 

Shoving his shoulder playfully, she said, “let’s go move your car.” 

They did, and the rest of what she said was true - Sarah did make a mean turkey sandwich, and Eunice’s mac and cheese wasn’t something to be missed. He had fun getting to know her roommates, and catching Sarah’s looks when Eunice said something unhinged. It felt like they were starting to create their own private language, and he was ecstatic over it.

It was also true that the carbs and dairy from the night before did make Quinn sluggish at practice in the morning. 

“What’s up with you today?”

He shrugged off the question, “just an off morning. I’ll be fine by tonight.”

By the time the game had ended - vs the Jets, lost, in a three round shoot out - and he’d finished his media duties, Sarah had called him twice.

He called her back on the way home. 

“Hey, what’s up?” he asked when she answered. 

“Bryan’s sister went into labor, so he has to go home,” she said. 

Quinn had no idea who Bryan was. “Okay?”

“So we had our cohort review tonight before he left for Calgary. I had to miss your game, sorry.” 

If it was between her watching a game and getting dinner with his friends, he'd rather she missed the game. 

“So you can do dinner tomorrow?” he asked, relieved, and also angry with himself. If he’d just let it lie, it would have worked out for the best anyway. 

“Yep. Do you think Brady is still free?” 

“I’m sure, but I’ll call him and ask.” 

Want more Quinn & Sarah? Check out the Snapshots Masterlist

To read all my fics, check out the Fanfiction Masterlist

[differenteagletragedy]

Cove isn't the stepdad, he's the dad who stepped up: Part 6

The haters said it would never happen ... here is Part 6 to the series in which Baxter gets you pregnant in Step 3, leaves anyway and doesn't answer your calls and then you and Cove fall in love and raise baby together then get engaged and boom Baxter is wedding planner.

Here is a link to the last part, which has links to the previous part etc. When we last left off, Baxter ran away again after making friends with your son ...

When Baxter broke up with you five years ago, promising to never bother you again, you were heartbroken. Weeks later, when you realized you were pregnant, you were lost.

But tonight?

Tonight you were furious.

A couple of hours had passed since your eventful rehearsal dinner. In that time, you'd settled Dylan down, the poor boy desolate at having lost his newest friend when Baxter made yet another impromptu exit. You'd finished dinner, doing your best to avoid the concerned looks from your friends and family. Dylan was sent off to spend the night with your moms, and you and Cove had an unfortunately tense drive to your hotel.

The plan had always been for the two of you to have separate rooms, to build up the anticipation of seeing each other before the wedding, but now you were just thankful that your precious soon-to-be husband didn't have to see you pacing restlessly, stewing in rage over your ex-boyfriend.

You didn't want to be doing it. You hated the fact that you were wasting feelings on Baxter during what was supposed to be one of the happiest times of your life. You hated him for putting you in this position, and you hated yourself for giving into it. But you couldn't help it -- you couldn't shove these feelings back down, no matter how hard you tried.

"I'm sorry," Cove had told you softly as he drove the two of you over to the hotel. "I wish things were different, I wish there was something I could do."

"You don't have to be sorry, it's not your fault," you'd told him, tucking a strand of green hair behind his ear.

He'd caught your hand in his and pressed his lips against your palm. He gently rubbed your thigh when he realized you didn't feel like talking, and he gave you tiny, tender kisses on your lips and all along your face when he dropped you off at your room. He offered to ditch the extra room and stay with you.

You wanted nothing more than to take him up on the offer, to let Cove do what he always did and bring you peace. But it didn't feel right, and that made you even angrier.

You stopped pacing for a moment, and without thinking too hard about it, you pulled out your phone and scrolled through your contacts until you found the number for your wedding planner.

There was one ring, then another, then it went to voicemail.

"Are you serious?" you texted Baxter.

You waited, phone in hand, and just when you thought you might throw it against the wall, it started ringing.

"Baxter?"'

"Yes, hello," he said, his voice small and sad. "My apologies for not answering your call originally, I --"

"Could you just not?" you asked.

"I ..." he began, then faltered. And that was your opportunity.

You cursed him for leaving the restaurant earlier, for not giving a proper goodbye to Dylan and leaving him upset. You called him on being just warm enough to make himself seem safe again and for hiding the fact that he was still that scared little boy who couldn't ever pick up a phone. Everything you ever wanted to tell him came out in that call, and by the time you were done, you heard strangled little sobs coming from Baxter, but you felt better. Cleansed, in a way.

After taking another moment to gather yourself as best you could, you said, "It's not that I hate the idea of you being in his life or him knowing who you are, and it's not that I think you're a bad person. But Baxter ... you need to do better. You can do better."

He laughed, no mirth whatsoever to it, and said, "I'm not sure that that's true, but it's nice of you to say."

"That's a shitty attitude."

"... So it is."

All that nervous energy, all the anger had left you at this point. You'd said what you need to say, and it was out of your hands. Baxter could get himself together or he could disappear again, but that was his call. You'd done everything you could.

When you told him that much, you hung up, but instead of getting ready for bed, you grabbed your room key and went down the hall to Cove's room.

He answered the door, already in his pajamas, and when he saw you, he smiled. An easy smile. Things with Cove had always been easy.

"Do you think maybe I could change my mind about us spending the night together?" you asked.

He laughed and pulled you into his room and into his arms. He held you tight, and you breathed him in.

"The plan is to spend every night for the rest of forever together," he said, placing a kiss on top of your head. "What's one more?"

[joelswritingmistress]

Halloween: Chapter 3 (Joel Miller x OC)

Ellie finished putting up the new lighting fixture and then gave a knock on the front door to signal Nicole that she was done. When she opened the door, Ellie motioned upward to show her her handy work.

"Can you text a picture of it to Joel?" She asked.

"Sure." Nicole took out her phone and snapped a quick photo.

"That dog doesn't stop barking," Ellie complained.

"Well he's a beagle. They're hunting dogs. It's what they do." She glanced around the yard and gave a whistle before venturing out to go round him up with Ellie at her heels.

"Lucky!" Nicole shouted the dog's name.

"What are you doing here?" Ellie asked as they rounded the side of the house.

"Dog sitting," Nicole answered.

"Yeah, okay." Ellie let out a laugh prompting Nicole to look back at her. Rather than indulge in the conversation she called out for the dog again.

This kid is wise beyond her years, Nicole thought of Ellie.

"He's over there by the neighbor's fence." Ellie pointed and the two of them went to investigate what the dog was barking at.

"Lucky..." Nicole called his name again as they grew closer and this time the dog trotted over to her.

"Go see what he was barking at," Ellie said.

"You go see," she challenged with a laugh. Almost immediately the funny nature of the situation died off as she imagined the man in the mask from earlier in the morning. "Hey Ellie, you weren't screwing around this morning were you... like trying to scare people, or friends of yours weren’t, by wearing Michael Myers mask, right?"

She shook her head. "I got in enough trouble last night. I'm working on trying to get my privileges back so I can go out tonight."

"Well, good luck. I think Joel will vouch for you for fixing the light." Nicole scooped up the dog and was about to head back but turned when Ellie headed toward the fence. "What are you doing?"

"Seeing what's behind here." She raised his eyebrows.

"No... come on." Nicole waved a hand, suddenly spooked again.

"That's no fun." She darted away toward the fence and Nicole watched as she disappeared around it.

For a moment Nicole stood there with her hand on her hip and the dog under her other arm. When Ellie didn't immediately return she shook her head. "Ellie! What are you doing?" There was no answer. "Ellie!"

Nicole waited and looked around the empty yard. The hair raised on the back of her neck as she stood parallel to the wind-tossed sheets on the laundry line in the neighbor's backyard. Her eyes then shifted toward the upstairs window of Joel's bedroom where she had been looking out that morning.

"Ellie!" Nicole shouted her name another time and cursed under her breath when she didn't respond. "Damn it kid..." she marched toward the fence without slowing down and despite the hesitation as she approached Nicole pushed past that fear and rounded the corner.

"Boo!" Ellie waited for her just around the corner and laughed when she jumped.

Nicole shook her head. "That's not funny."

"Did you think Michael Myers got me?"

She rolled her eyes and then pulled her by the arm. "Keep it up and I'll have Joel tell your dad that you were still messing around."

"Fine, fine..." Ellie put up her hands in defeat and Nicole smiled to herself as they walked back toward the front of the house.

"Look I've got to go," Nicole told him, escorting the dog back inside. She felt for her keys in her pocket. "Are you all done here?"

Ellie nodded and then her face twisted in such a way that Nicole could tell she had something on the tip of her tongue to say.

"What?" She asked.

"Can I get ride down to the parade?"

The adult in Nicole wanted to ask if she was allowed to go to the parade, but her youthfulness won her over as she remembered the joys of being a teenager. Despite Ellie's wrongdoing she wanted to see her enjoy the day. "Sure."

"Really? Thanks!"

"Just... don't get yourself in more trouble when we get down there."

Ellie put one hand on her chest and raised the other. "I promise."

Nicole laughed and waved Ellie with her. "Come on..."

The two of them piled into the car and she began to back the car out of the driveway. As they pulled away Ellie caught a glimpse of someone walking out by the fence that separated the two yards.

For a brief second she contemplated telling Nicole, though she decided it was probably the neighbor and didn't feel like getting in trouble again. With that, she turned up the radio and leaned back in the seat.

"So are you guys dating?" Ellie asked, turning to Nicole. "You and Joel."

"Are you dating anyone?" She challenged him, again not wanting to get into the logistics of their relationship.

"Why, you interested?" She joked with a laugh. "Relax, I'm kidding."

"I'll make you walk."

"I like a girl... her name's Dina. We were supposed to hang out tonight but now I probably can't."

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have been throwing rocks at peoples houses."

"She was with me," Ellie confessed,  "I just didn't want to rat her out, ya know? And another friend of ours, too. We were just seeing who could hit the light first... I mean no offense but Joel is kind of a dick so that's why we chose his house."

"Well he totally let you off the hook... so he can't be that bad."

"Totally!" Ellie said back, laughing again as she continued to tease Nicole. She then pointed up the way. Ellie waved to some stray police officers she apparently knew, and Nicole did the same just out of habit. Neither of them noticed the green station wagon behind them.

…

"Do you know what day it is, sheriff?" Dr. Loomis asked Marlene. "Do you know the date?"

"Look, I have enough to worry about on Halloween night in this town," Marlene told him firmly. "I can't have my force out here looking for a ghost."

Nicole approached where Joel stood with Marlene and Dr. Loomis with Ellie at her heels.

"We are talking about evil on two legs," Dr. Loomis went on. "He stole a car from Smith's Grove last night. Judith Myers' headstone is missing! Mark my words he is here or he is coming here."

"Hey..." Nicole greeted Joel and pressed her eyebrows together upon hearing Dr. Loomis's latest claims. She lowered her voice. "What's going on?"

"Are you the one that saw him?" Dr. Loomis approached them.

Nicole raised her eyebrows. "Me?"

"Michael Myers... this morning in the yard."

Nicole looked to Joel who shot the man daggers. "He's not... he's dead... right?" She asked.

"He's here and if we don't stop him we'll have a repeat of 1978 on our hands."

"You said a car was stolen," Nicole indulged in the man's story. "What kind of car was it?"

"A green station wagon with-"

"Writing on the side," Nicole finished.

"You've seen it," Dr. Loomis suspected. He eyed Joel. "Don't let her out of your sight the rest of the day. She may very well be in grave danger."

"Okay I've heard enough," Marlene said. "You're going to spook the whole town. It's time to move it along."

"I'm wasting my time." Dr. Loomis shook his head and then handed Nicole his card. "If you see the car again don't approach it but call me... urgently."

Joel snatched the card from Dr. Loomis and gave the man a look. "Thanks."

Dr. Loomis reluctantly made his way back to his car and shook his head as he left their small group of people standing dumbfounded on the town green.

"I knew there was something up with that car," Nicole said to Joel.

"Honey, the man he's speaking about is dead."

"I wouldn't put much thought into it," Marlene added.

"But the car... and the man in the mask... it's an odd coincidence, no?"

"No," Marlene assured her. "Every Halloween in Haddonfield is more like a circus than anything. Do you know how many idiots I see trying to scare people with the Myers mask." He turned to Ellie. "And why are you down here?"

"Nicole drove me. I just wanted to tell you personally that the job was done."

"She fix the light?" Joel asked, glancing at Nicole.

"Yeah." She whipped out her phone and showed him the picture.

"Good fuckin' job kid," Joel told him with a laugh.

"Can I go out tonight, Marlene? Please..." Ellie looked at Marlene who still didn't appear satisfied.

"We'll see." She glanced over as Dr. Loomis's car pulled away. "With all this nonsense going on I don't think it's the best idea."

"Please-"

"We'll talk later." Marlene eyed Ellie and glanced at Joel and Nicole.

"I think that's our cue honey." Joel motioned for Nicole to follow him and looked back to Marlene and grinned. "Excuse us."

"Thanks for the ride," Ellie said genuinely.

"No problem." She tipped her mouth up in a half smile and walked away with Joel.

"You’re spooked aren’t you?" Joel began to tickle her, making her laugh but she quickly squirmed away.

"No." Nicole smiled at him and then forced him to stop to talk to her. "But... what the hell was that all about?"

"I think the guy's a fuckin' wackjob." Joel smiled wide. "But... just in case I think you should stick with me the rest of the day."

"I can't complain about that." She looked around to make sure they didn't have an audience and then kissed him. "I thought you were working down here."

"I am," he explained. "For another hour or so." Joel reached into his back pocket for his wallet and pulled out a twenty. "Go get yourself some lunch. Hang around the shops over here then you can follow me back to my house."

"I have money." Nicole smiled up at him.

"You took care of my dog," he teased. "Just let me buy you lunch and get us a bottle of wine for tonight." Joel winked and she accepted the money.

"You're not... worried about me are you?" Nicole raised her eyebrows as a slow grin spread across her face. She loved hearing that Joel cared about her at times. It was an insecurity that lingered because Joel wasn’t always overly affectionate - though in the times he was, it overemphasized how he felt about her. Internally, Nicole knew there was nothing to worry about; but that didn’t stop her from eating up these little moments.

"Well let's see... you're talking about a mysterious car, this odd, old Dr. Loomis guy says it's the one that was stolen, you see some asshole in a mask out the window. No, I'm not worried." He grinned and gave the back of her neck a squeeze before kissing her on the forehead. "Just hang around these shops here if you don't mind."

"I don't mind." Nicole looked up at him adoringly and felt herself doing it but couldn't help herself. His lingering ear-to-ear smile made her melt that much more.

"And red wine if you don't mind." Joel tipped her chin up and kissed her once.

"I was thinking of a nice Cabernet."

"Perfect honey." He winked. "Stay away from strange vehicles. Keep your phone off vibrate so you get my call."

"I will." Nicole smiled and reluctantly parted from him. She watched as he walked back toward the project he had been working on then stared down at the twenty dollar bill in her hand and headed across the street to a little sandwich shop.

Pacing the sidewalk was Dr. Loomis and she could tell from the antsy nature of his walking and the way he occasionally snuck a glance in her direction that he had something to say.

[escapist-of-fiction]

Title: Let the games begin. Pairing: Troy Otto x OC Evie

Summary: Lots of these one shot scenes take place in the infirmary on the Ranch, potentially other locations further down the line. Pre-apocalypse Evie was a med student in her third year, so knew enough to adopt this role when she arrived. Troy is obviously a regular visitor because, well, he's Troy and he's one, hot mess and chaos seems to follow him around. I guess this is the beginning of their slow burn relationship. Up until this point, Evie and Troy had not really had a reason to speak to each other or spend time together. All it takes is one small decision, and the rest is history.

Dislaimer: I will use characters from the Fear The Walking Dead series and some details from the show but that's as far as it goes really. This will mostly be an original plot. ---------------------------------------------------------------

It had been forty eight hours since the Militia had left the ranch and, when Evie had bumped into Jake during lunch earlier that day, he had seemed unperturbed by the group's absence.

"Evie, this is a regular thing. Troy goes off on idiotic missions to satisfy his curiosity. Things take a little longer than planned." He paused, forkful of pasta halfway to his mouth as he eyed her suspiciously, "Why do you care so much?"

She tried to ignore it but Evie could hear the underlying tone of 'who do you care about?' as well. Placing her hands on her hips, she scowled and answered without so much as skipping a beat,

"As resident Medic, amongst other job roles, surely it's my duty to care?" Jake immediately smiled in surrender.

"Point taken. Listen, if I know Troy as well as I do, he'll have them back by sundown."

-----------

On the quiet days, everyone milled around the ranch completing their jobs, busying themselves with idle chit chat. Evie, personally hated those days. Time moved incredibly slowly and it gave her too much time to think, about what could have been and what the future held. A monotonous task, like taking a medical supply inventory and basing herself in the medic tent, kept her occupied until the familiar skidding of tyres on gravel sounded at the main gate. Listening carefully, she heard the regular shouts of greeting from friends and family alike. No one sounded like they were raising the alarm for any emergencies. She continued with her job, seemingly satisfied with the outcome.

She found the Militia still unloading the trucks a little while later. Evie nodded at a few of the more familiar faces, hauling barrels off the back of a truck,

"Where did you end up this time?" She asked. George, one of the older and more established members of the Militia paused to fill her in,

"We went a bit further afield, past the two main towns, found an abandoned warehouse. It must have been a clothes supplier once upon a time. Then Troy decided it would be a good idea to chase down a herd." Evie nodded in understanding, she knew how that story always ended and didn't need him to finish. She sighed.

"Where is he now?"

"He headed towards the pantry with Jake. We managed to raid a store on our way back."

With a little nod, Evie headed in that direction, her pace quickening as she got nearer overhearing raised voices. Jake and Troy stood facing one another, deep in their heated discussion, surrounded by the boxes of supplies that they had just carried across the yard. Jake was staring furiously at Troy, who looked almost bemused by his brother's overreaction.

"Christ, Troy. What were you thinking?" Jake hissed, gesturing wildly in the trucks' direction, "They are our people, they have families. We don't go searching for danger for the hell of it. Do that on your own time!"

Troy scuffed his boot in the dirt and folded his arms across his chest indignantly before responding,

"Stick to being the house wife of this ranch, Jakey. What I do with the Militia on our missions is my business." A smug sense of satisfaction washed over Troy as he watched his brother twitch in annoyance. He didn't like this 'tit for tat' arguing but his brother's constant need to be the responsible one riled him to no end.

Evie could see this had hit a nerve with Jake instantly so decided it might be a good time to take it upon herself and interrupt them.

Up until now, neither of them had been aware of Evie's presence, so her sudden approach startled them both and distracted them from the heat of the moment, fortunately.

"What's wrong?" Jake huffed, hoping nothing serious had happened but equally looking for a reason to walk away from his brother before he really lost it with him. Evie felt she needed to think quickly for an answer or it would seem a bit odd that she had approached them in the first instance. She wasnt even sure why she had gone to seek Troy out in the first place. She found a reason soon enough as she cast a glance over Troy, who was staring at her inquisitively.

"You need that wound treated," she said, pointledly nodding at his hand that he had obviously tried patching up himself, which was now dripping with blood. Troy lifted his hand dismissively,

"This old thing? It'll be fine once I've washed up." Evie marched up to him and grabbed his wounded arm, holding it up for inspection. This bold movement from the medic, stunned both men into silence. Evie wasn't known for her forwardness, in fact, it was rare to see her outside of the infirmary at all most days.

"By my reckoning, you treated this wound yourself and you've done a terrible job of it. So unless you want it to get infected? Infirmary now." Evie didn't wait for a response from Troy. She simply took a hold of his good hand and pulled him in the direction of the medical tent, leaving Jake staring after them, a little perplexed.

Neither of them spoke at first. Evie tapped the empty bed and Troy hopped up obediently. She began to unwrap a roll of gauze and make a solution to disinfect the wound. He watched her every move carefully, enjoying the way Evie's nimble fingers treated his injury with effortless care. Evie, on the other hand, was completely unaware of Troy watching her, she was too engrossed with the task in hand. She unwrapped the scrappy fabric, now caked in dried blood, that he had twisted around the cut to stop the bleeding. She threw it in the nearby bin and held Troy's hand up to study it carefully in the daylight that was now seeping in through the tent's doorway as the afternoon reached it's peak.

"You know I could have sorted this out myself back home..." Pausing the careful treatment of his hand, Evie locked eyes with Troy, an eyebrow raised as she responded,

"You're welcome?" Her sarcasm earned a wry smile from Troy.

"You know that's not what I meant. As much as I'm enjoying this little Florence Nightingale routine, I'm not sure what I've done to deserve this treatment. Other than being a dick to my brother back there."

"Well," Evie began, winding the bandage around Troy's hand tight enough to watch him wince ever so slightly, "as I said to your brother earlier; it is my duty to care for everyone - even stubborn, reluctant patients like yourself." She lifted her gaze from Troy's hand and found him staring at her intently. Evie felt the heat to rise to her cheeks. "Anyway, " she babbled on, "You are in charge of the ranch and we kind of need you alive in order to keep it running. Sort of." She placed Troy's hand gently down at his side. "There. That's you all patched up."

Troy turned his hand over, seemingly impressed with her handy work.

"Thanks Medic. Permission to leave?" A tiny smile spread across Evie's face at Troy's gentle teasing.

"Permission granted," she said, playing along with a little chuckle, stepping aside to let him past. She soon realised that there wasn't a lot of room in the Medic tent as Troy sidled past her so closely that his body briefly brushed up against Evie's.

What was most alarming was how her body reacted to the physical contact with Troy, however fleeting it may have been. She watched him lift the canvas and duck out of the tent, stepping into the sunlight and she exhaled slowly, realising she had been holding her breath. She waited for the tingling sensation in her stomach to subside, a mixed feeling of confusion and realisation washing over her.

And it was in that moment that it dawned on Evie...she was falling for Troy Otto.

[mixtape--oh]

Miroh – Bang Chan

Chris x best friend Bora, circa April 2019

Finally getting their first ever music show win, Chris realized just how much he wanted to have his other firsts with Bora.

This one mentions references to Mirror, can go check that one out first for context.

The night of their first music show win ever with Miroh passed by in a whirlwind for Chris. After finishing M Countdown, PD-nim treated them to a late night supper of barbecue, which lasted until way past midnight. Chris couldn't remember the last time he felt this happy; he really couldn't stop himself from smiling the entire night. Despite everything, though, he also couldn't help but think about the one thing – or rather, one person – who would've made this night even more perfect. 

When said person didn't show any sign of getting out of his mind, Chris excused himself – after making sure that the kids were still cheerfully chatting and chomping on their food – and went to the deserted sidewalk outside the barbecue place, dialing a phone number he'd memorized off the top of his head. 

His call only went through after the seventh ring, just when Chris started to think she wasn't going to answer. "Hello? Chris?" 

On the other end of the line, Bora's voice sounded a little slurred and heavy. Chris grimaced; it was one in the morning, he should've known better. "Hi, sorry. Did I wake you up?" 

"It's fine," Bora mumbled, sounding just a tad bit more conscious now. "Is everything okay?" 

"No, yeah, everything's fine. I'm at a barbecue place. PD-nim's treat." 

"Ah, right." Almost fully awake by now, Bora made a cheering sound. "I understand some congratulations are in order?" 

Chris beamed. "You know?" 

"Of course. Do you really think that little of me? I even watched it live on TV, you know. You did really well, Christopher." 

"I wanted to share the night with you too," he admitted, absentmindedly picking on a loose thread on his shirt. "That's why I called, despite the ungodly hour. Sorry about that." 

"No, no, don't worry about it." There were rustling sounds, as if she was shifting on her bed. "So when can I see you to congratulate you in person? Next month?" 

Chris knew he really shouldn't. He knew he was being selfish. But this was Bora, he thought, his mirror, his love. Maybe he could afford to be a little selfish with her. "How about tonight? What say you?" 

"Tonight?" 

Bora didn't say anything else for a while, long enough for Chris to start feeling bad. "Sorry, sorry, I didn't think – " 

"Tonight would be great," she cut him off. More rustling sounds as she probably made to climb out of her bed. "Better than next month, I'd say. When and where?" 

An hour later, Chris found himself sitting on one of the deserted chairs at the equally deserted 24-hours convenience store just around the block of his dormitory, anxiously eyeing the parking lot waiting for Bora's familiar car to show up. He nearly couldn't contain his mixture of feelings when it finally did. Then he couldn't stay seated when Bora's familiar figure, clad in sweats and a hoodie, got off the car, so he stood up as she made her way to him. 

The second she was within his arms' reach, Chris crashed himself into her in a hug. She laughed softly as she rocked him from side to side, arms clinging to his neck. Her voice was just as soft as she whispered to his ear, "Congratulations, Christopher. You made it." 

Chris always tried his best not to cry. He thought he was at his most vulnerable whenever he cried, and he didn’t like being vulnerable. He'd almost failed when they were receiving the trophy back on M Countdown, but he'd managed. Right now though, with Bora in his arms, her voice in his ears, he found himself frantically grasping at his ever-slipping self-control as he tried to keep his emotions on check. 

Though Bora, having known him for almost eight years now, seemed to notice. She gave the back of his head a little pat. "Let go. I know you were holding back on stage earlier. You can let go now." 

So let go Chris did. He cried silently to the comfort of Bora's shoulder, letting his emotions took over for once. He couldn't remember exactly when was the last time he'd cried, but at the moment he couldn't find it in him to care, not one bit. Especially not when Bora kept murmuring praises and reassurance to his ears. 

Only when he was sure the tears had stopped completely did he pull away – though not by far, since his hands refused to leave Bora's shoulders. "Sorry," he croaked. "Got carried away. It's just... it feels emotional." 

Bora offered him the brightest smile, as if Chris hadn't woken her up in the middle of the night and asked her to drive just to meet him. She reached up to brush the lasts of tears off his cheek with her thumb. "It is emotional." 

Chris had something else to say, he swore he did, but when he opened his mouth the words he heard in his ears were: "Can I kiss you?" 

He saw Bora's eyes widened and silently cursed himself and his stupid, stupid mouth. "But you still have another year," she finally said. 

Took Chris a few moments to realize that she was talking about his 2-years dating ban; he did still have another year before he's finally allowed to have a girlfriend, as per his contract with the company. He cursed, out loud this time. "Can we just screw it? It's just – this is my first music show win, and it made me realize how much I want to have my firsts with you." 

Her entire face softened at that. "Ah, Chris." The sound of his name coming from her lips might just be his favorite ever. "As much as I want to screw it too, I can't. You'll be breaking your contract if we were to date now. I can't do that to you." 

"We'll just go under the radar, then." 

Bora shook her head. "Still too risky. We can't do that to the kids." Her hands went to frame either side of his head. "You should never choose between me and the kids, Chris. No matter what happens, they always come first." 

"But – " 

"Promise me," she insisted. 

He held her persistent gaze for a while. He was being selfish and irrational, he realized as his rational thoughts started coming back to his mind. But the thought of choosing anything over Bora, his mirror, his love, was far too unimaginable for him. 

"Chris?" 

"I promise," he finally muttered. 

"Good." She smiled, pushing his untamed curls off his forehead. "Don't worry, love. I can, and will always, wait for you." 

Chris had something cheeky to say to lighten up the mood, he promised he did, but then Bora leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, and his mind – his entire world, really – went blank. 

They'd never kissed before. Not once, not even after the conversation they had last year – where she'd told him that she was pretty sure she loved him, and he'd asked her to wait for him. This was a first, their first, and boy, did Chris look forward for many, many others – both in kisses and in firsts – after this one. 

This one, though, was as brief as it was soft. When Chris finally managed to knock some senses back into his blank head, Bora was already pulling away. He tried to chase her lips, tried to steal a few more kisses because how was he supposed to feel enough with just one – 

Bora chuckled at his impatience. "You said you want to have your firsts with me. There, you have another one." 

"It wasn't my first kiss, though?" 

"I meant your first with me," Bora deadpanned. "You – good lord, why am I even trying?" 

He laughed. "Was it your first kiss ever?" 

"Of course not – Chris!" 

previously on | coming up next Find more tales of Chris & Bora and the rest of Stray Kids here!

[trans-queen-administrator]

One year ago, give it take a few days, I started reading Worm. I finished it in a week. I don't think I'll ever read a story that affects me as much as Taylor's did, and since it's the anniversary of me reading Worm I think I might as well get sappy and emotional and write out how much Worm impacted me.

Tw: talking about suicide

I was in a terrible spot before Worm. Behind in every single class, failing to eat or drink or even just get out of bed for entire days, ghosting all of my friends and family just because I couldn't work up the will to talk, I just rotted in my dorm all day and let the tasks pile up higher and higher because I didn't know how to dig myself up, so I just gave up. I found Worm from some stupid meme that I saw while scrolling through social media for 13 hours a day in an attempt to drown out thoughts, and for reasons I still don't know I started to read it instead of returning to my blank inertia. I hadn't had the mental willpower to read or even feel anything in months, and it was completely out of character to immediately read it instead of just saying I'd do it later.

My sleep schedule was already fucked, once I got started it wasn't really a shock that I stayed up until like 5 am.

The week went by, I got to Leviathan, the Nine, Echidna, countless incredible interludes, and somewhere early on I think Worm became some sort of last hurrah. I'm not totally sure if I would have done it, but I had rough plans for methods of killing myself. Worm is a long work, impressively so, I was telling myself I'd finish it so I had something to be at least somewhat proud of before I went. It was a means of procrastination for the end since I didn't want to leave it unfinished, and also a road to it since once I was done reading then it would be time.

I became completely closed off from the world, even more than I had been previously. I dropped any pretenses of passing or attending class, what would the point be when I wouldn't be around for the grade? My meals became even less frequent, and when I had them it was always accompanied by reading. My sleep time was cut in half, I was waking up earlier and going to bed later all to read Worm. It was a week long fugue where I ceased to exist except for my ability to read the text. Once I was done reading, that would be it for me, and since I had closed myself off from pretty much everything there were no outside sources to convince me to change my mind. Just Worm. And it managed to do it.

Something about Taylor's absolutely insane amount of willpower just hit me hard. I remember when I read Speck and was reduced to a sobbing wreck for a day that was one of my strongest thoughts about her. She just tried so hard for everything, and absolutely never gave up as long as there was some way she could try to do something. I never learned how to put all my effort into stuff, but Taylor was inspiring enough that I wanted to at least try to learn how to try. It sounds cringey to write down, but if she could try so hard that she united all of humanity to kill an omnicidal god, then I could at the very least try to eat lunch.

Speaking of lunch, I read 90% of Speck in the corner of my college dining hall. It was like 4:00 and I was the only one there somehow, which is great because I was breaking down the entire time as I read Taylor fall apart. I don't think I'll ever read anything that hurt as much as Speck.

Another part of Taylor that was just as crucial to making me want to live was showing how much her self destructiveness hurt others. How could I justify killing myself when I just read how much it fucking tore at Taylor's friends when she became Khepri? When Lisa scrambled to just barely save Taylor from a suicide attempt in the first chapter of Gold Morning? Even when she just left them behind, Rachel's anguish was palpable, so who was I to ghost my friends because I was too scared to text anyone? I always knew on a logical level people would be sad if I died, but seeing such solid depictions of hurt from similar situations just... I dunno, I couldn't justify it when it was so much clearer to me how much it would hurt people I love.

I took a day to emotionally recover from the mental rewiring that comes from finishing Worm, and then I called my parents and told them how poorly I had been doing. I hadn't done it before because I didn't want to be a burden. They were happy to help. I dropped all my classes and went home. Worm stayed with me, it gave me some sort of substance to my life, something to latch on to. Making ideas for fanfics that I'd never write, talking with friends I'd made through Worm, rereading Speck if I needed a good cry, all of it kept me going and made my life feel less flat. Like five months later I started posting to this account and that was another outlet. It was just fun to analyze the text and make up theories about this work that did so much for me, and when I finally started posting them online that was good fun too. Thank y'all for reading my dinky little rambles, somehow I've cracked 400 followers on what was originally just a place for me to write down my thoughts during lunch hour at a mental hospital. Whenever I get a detailed comment in the notes, or I see someone like/reblog 20 of my posts in a row as they scroll through, or I see the names of people I always see in my notifications it just makes my day. Y'all are lovely.

And well, now it's been a year. Worm was supposed to be the final story I read, a countdown to the end in 1.7 million words, but it managed to convince me to keep going. I didn't think I'd make it to the next year or even the next month, but it's November again and I'm still here. I'm not doing great, but I'm here and I have Worm to thank for that.

[starfirewildheart]

Chapter 5

Scars and Souvenirs 

Summary: Sy and his lady both retire from the army but not before tragedy befalls Sy. He slowly tries to adjust to life again on their ranch.

Pairing: Sy / OFC

Word count: 1,568

Rating: some angst some fluff

(Personal note: real life has been kicking my ass lately and it's taking its toll. I struggled with this chapter. I hope it's OK. Also if you wanna chat about Henry, any of his characters, movies or even has out stories feel free to DM me.)

Sy laughed as his three year old niece gave Deb the third degree. Millie was completely enamored with Sy which he was so shocked by since he spent most of her life in the middle east but was incredibly grateful for it. 

"Why didn't ya bing mah unka Sy sooner. He coulda skeered da torm away?" Millie huffed at Debbie. She believed her Uncle Sy could fix everything, even bad weather.

"I'm sorry sweetie but he had to help your grandma with some stuff earlier," Debbie explained. Millie was the cutest little girl with blond hair and blue eyes and at three already had Sy's stubbornness and attitude. Seeing them together, Sy huge and Millie so tiny was cute but watching the big, bad, marine be bossed and pushed around by this tiny little girl was the most adorable thing ever.

"Why didn't you do it?" Millie pouted at Deb.

"Cause she didn't want me too. She wanted to spend time with Uncle Sy," She explained. 

"Why not?" Millie questioned. "You do it den Unka Sy be here wif me!"

"Cause she said she wanted him, not me" Deb shrugged. 

"Why?" She asked again.

"Stop bein stupid 'silly millie'." Amy and Mike's oldest kid, Robbie sneered. He was six and he thought little sisters were the worst. 

"Hey," Amy, Mike and Sy all said at the same time. "We don't call people stupid young man," Amy finished.

"Yea poopy head!" Millie stuck her tongue out at him.

"No ma'am," Sy shook his head. "You don't get to call him names either."

"Whhhhyyy?" She whined. "He is a poopy head!"

"Silly Millie, silly Millie," Robbie sang.

"Cause it's not nice," Sy explained while trying not to laugh. "But mostly because I said so." He pointed at Robbie. "That means you to."

"Otay," Millie nodded and played with the doll she had in Sy's lap.

"Fine," Robbie sighed.

Sy's phone rang and he looked at the screen before turning it to silent with a huff. Deb looked at him quizzically but before she could ask her phone rang. She looked at the screen and did the same thing Sy had done.

"What's going on?" Amy asked but just as she did her phone rang. "Hello?"

"Are they there?" Sara demanded.

"Hello to you too mom," Amy rolled her eyes as she excused herself to the kitchen for privacy. 

"Are they there?" She huffed again.

"Yes they are here. The storm was worse down their way and they couldn't get home. They were exhausted and not in any shape to be alone anyway."

"They were here but she decided I didn't need to have a discussion with my own son. She has no right to try to come between us. He's my son and I have a right to know what…"

"No you don't!" Amy yelled into her phone. "Yes, you are our mother but that doesn't give you the right to know every tiny detail of our lives. Whatever Sy went through over there we know it was awful and if he doesn't want to retell it or doesn't want us knowing then we should be ok with that. All that he needs from us is for us to love him just like he loves us. Is that not enough for you?" Amy was near breathless from her rant but when she heard the click of Sara's phone turning off her blood boiled and she growled rather loudly.

"Don't ruin your relationship with her because of me." Sy had stepped into the kitchen when he heard Amy's raised voice. "I don't know why she's being this way but she's dead set on knowing it all and I don't just don't think I can do it."

Amy hugged him. "You don't have to, Sy. If talking about what happened helps you I will gladly listen to every detail. I will continue to love you just the same if you never tell me anything that happened. You are my little brother." 

He walked over to the counter and leaned his hip against it, arms crossed over his chest. "I should just disappear.  It would make everyone's lives easier."

"You better not disappear! We need you," Amy insisted 

Millie came running into the kitchen ending their conversation.  "Unka Sy!" She ran up to him with her little arms in the air and he scooped her up.

"And what do you want?" He asked her as he tickled her and made her squirm and giggle.

"Come pay wif me!"

He sighed dramatically then flipped her upside. "I guess,  if I have to."  

They spent time playing with the kids before they had their dinner and got ready for bed both falling asleep after a story.

Once it was quiet Sy's mind started to go into hyper vigilance again and he was getting antsy. His eyes were darting to all the windows and doors searching for the enemy. When Amy came back downstairs and called them to the kitchen so they could all eat dinner Deb got an idea. "Amy, do you have any card games or board games?"

"I do!" She jumped up excitedly and went to gather them up.

"You did it now woman," Sy shook his head. "She loves playing games."

Deb held out her hand to him and tried to pull him up which was futile until he helped. "Games are a good distraction," She explained as she guided him toward the kitchen. Once he was in front of her she smacked his ass. "Woman?" She growled. 

He bit back a shocked squeak and spun on her quickly wrapping his arms around her and roughly squeezing her ass with both hands. "Yea, woman." There was a playfulness in his eyes as she reached back and swatted at his hands. "Mine", he growled deep in his chest as he pressed his forehead to hers.

"Only yours, always," She promised. He kissed her until she was breathless and leaning heavily against him. "Mmmm," She sighed contentedly.

"Found em," Amy held up the boxes triumphantly. 

Thirty minutes later they were deep into a game of 'Syverson rules Uno' which she learned ment the deck had three special make your own wild cards, one of which Sy made a draw 10 card and you could 'stack' draw cards. The first hand Debbie had to draw eight and Sy enjoyed that just a little too much. So now, about half way into the game, Debbie was in a fit of hysterical laughter, Amy was in tears from laughter, Mike was trying to hide his smile and Sy was cursing. "Biggest bunch of fuckin bullshit I've ever seen in my life." He grumbled. "You keep laughin'" he shook his finger at Deb. It only made her laugh so hard she snorted which led to Amy's hysterical laughter and poor Aika looking at them all like they were mad. "It's not that funny!" Sy huffed at his sister.

"You," gasp, "had to," snort, "draw," guffaw, "18!" Tears from laughter streamed down Amy's face.

He shook his head and glared at her before picking up a pretzel twist and throwing it at her head which Aika happily munched as soon as it hit the floor. "Play!" He growled. 

Deb tried to control her laughter but failed, earning her own pretzel to the head. "They're your rules Syverson! I'm just playing by them," she explained innocently. 

"Uh-huh," he nodded, giving her a look that was supposed to be of anger but he couldn't hide his grin. 

They continued to play games for a couple of hours before Deb noticed Sy starting to wear out. "I hate to end a fun time but I'm getting kinda tired. I think I'm ready to stretch out."

"Of course," Amy stood up and gave her a hug. "You know where everything is but if there is something you can’t find just let me know."

"Thank you again for letting us crash here," sis. 

"You know you're welcome here anytime. " She gave him a hug then shooed them off to bed.

~~~~♡~~~~

Deb made sure Aika had been walked then crawled into bed where Sy was already waiting. The coolness of the sheets was welcoming on her sore, aching body. She wasn't really sleepy but physically she was beyond exhausted. Sighing contentedly when Sy pulled her against his side she pressed a kiss to his chest. "You feeling better sweetheart? "

"Still not right but much better than earlier. I'm so sorry you have to go through this with me. You deserve so much better."

The sadness in his voice broke her heart. She raised up on her elbow and looked at him. "I'm sorry you have to go through it baby, that you went through any of it. You're wrong though. I don't deserve better because there is no one better."

He turned on his side and hugged her to him pressing a kiss to her head nearly purring as she ran her nails lightly up and down his back.

"Mine," She said softly.

"All yours sugar. Only yours."

Tag list

@shellyshellshell

@enchantedbytomandhenry

@mrsevans90

@summersong69

@mollymal

@warriormirkwood

@bloodyinspiredme

@kneelforloki

[basketballanonsblog]

Goodnight and goodbye

Everything prior to this ('Take my breath away' to 'Fragile') was written last year when I started writing this AU, but it went on a hiatus after Fragile. I only started writing earlier in the summer because I was stumped on ideas on how to continue this story. @lovinhyo

Bittersweet angst:

"Then she can say goodbye to TWICE."

That damn line echoed every second of the day, making it difficult to sleep at night.

"Then she can say goodbye to TWICE."

You would never allow yourself to be a hindrance to her dreams.

"Then she can say goodbye to TWICE."

Enough.

Your muscles burned but you carried on running.

"Then she can say goodbye to TWICE."

Stop.

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to drown out the voice in your head.

"Then she can say goodbye to-"

"STOP!"

You lost your footing, causing you to stumble off the treadmill.

"Y/n!" Your brother rushed in and helped you up, after hearing the commotion.

"I'm alright Min-jun. I slipped, that's all."

"Y/n." He frowned. "You've been 'slipping' nearly everyday for the past two months."

"It's nothing, just thinking too much that's all."

You ignored the response he mumbled under his breath.

"Have you told Jihyo about-"

"No."

"Why? There's only a month left. Believe me, that day will sneak up on you."

"I don't know how I'm going to break it to her."

"Speaking of Jihyo, please don't tell me the last time you saw her in person was your six month anniversary."

Your silence said enough.

"Sis. What's gotten into you? Are you seeing someone else?"

Now that pissed you off, making you tightly grab his shirt.

"How dare you, I would never cheat on her." You snarled.

"Woah, what's going on?" Eun Jung interfered, pushing you apart.

"My annoying brother speaking nonsense and not knowing how to mind his own damn business."

"Okay, that's enough. Go get fresh air and cool off."

You continued to stare your brother down.

"Y/n. Let him go." You obeyed her this time, but not without giving him a small shove.

As soon as you left, she flicked his forehead.

"Ouch! What was that for?"

-x-

You sat in your favourite park, savouring the silence of the night.

A glass bottle appeared in your peripheral vision. You took the drink gratefully, taking a sip.

"Thanks." He sat on the grass beside you.

"How did you know I'd be here?"

"Because this is where you shared your first kiss with Jihyo."

You sheepishly rubbed your nape.

"Right. Oppa, I'm sorry about earlier."

"You've been so out of character lately that I couldn't help but think the worst. For that, I am sorry too."

"Unnie gave you a hard time, didn't she?"

"Indeed." You shared a laugh. "Seriously though, are you alright?"

You contemplated some excuse to say yes.

"No. No, I'm not."

"Y/n..."

"Don't worry about me."

"You're my little sister, of course I'm going to always worry." You leaned against him, just like when you were kids. Your exhaustion over the situation washing over you.

"I know, but there are some battles I have to fight alone."

-×-

Jihyo twirled before the mirror, looking pensive.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Nayeon.

"You look great, now can you stop spinning around? You're making me dizzy."

"Sorry, unnie. I've missed her, that's all."

"About that, what's her deal?" The eldest became irritated. "You two celebrated your anniversary, then suddenly she keeps blowing you off? Y/n has definitely lost a good amount of brownie points."

"Y/n was just busy -"

"So what? You're busy too. Even when you were still just friends, y/n would do whatever she could to see you. Even if it meant running through the rain late at night. But for the past two months? It's always you chasing after her."

Every word stung, making Jihyo curl in on herself, because she knew Nayeon was right. Something was different about you these days.

"I'm sorry. I went too far."

"It's alright, I understand. But Y/n wouldn't intentionally hurt me."

"Good, because soldier or not, we'll kick her ass if she breaks your heart."

"Jihyo! Y/n is here." Sana peered around the door with a rose tucked behind her ear.

"Stealing flowers from my girlfriend again, unnie?" It had become a tradition for Sana to get a flower too, every time you stopped by. She adored the friendship you had with her members.

"I can't help it, y/n is such a sweetheart!" Sana flinched when she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist.

"Careful unnie, I might get jealous if you start paying more attention to others." She squealed when she felt her nip at her ear.

"I only have eyes for you, my precious Dahyunie."

Nayeon and Jihyo took the distraction as a signal to escape.

Both of you lit up when you saw each other.

The leader approached and kissed you, unafraid of showing affection.

"Hey." She whispered when you pulled away.

"Hey yourself, jagiya." Jihyo smiled, giving you a few more light pecks before Nayeon cleared her throat.

"I hate to interrupt, but unless you plan to spend the rest of the day making out, you better get going."

"Right, see you later unnie." Jihyo pulled you out of the door, but not without final words from Nayeon.

"I want her home by 10 y/n!"

"Yes ma'am." You saluted.

-x-

There was an air of awkwardness during dinner. You didn't ignore her, but she noticed you were distracted. You seemed to check out, in between conversation, only being pulled back when Jihyo held your hand.

Nayeon's words echoed in her mind.

Thankfully, you relaxed when away from the public eye. You settled to watch the sunset in a secluded spot overlooking the sea that your brother discovered a few years back.

With an arm draped around her shoulders and your hands intertwined, you allowed yourself to breathe out the tension.

Jihyo went to ask but a gut feeling held her back. Instead:

"The view is pretty."

"I'd rather look at you." She felt your laughter as she hid her face against your shoulder.

"Be serious." Jihyo whined.

"I am." You spoke with conviction this time, and she felt the warmth of your love wash over her.

She leaned up towards you, your lips meeting in a tender kiss.

-x-

She held your hand on the drive back. Your brother's voice lingered in the back of your mind.

The weight you've been feeling returned tenfold.

She deserves to know.

"Jihyo I'm-"

You turned to look at her but the sentence never made it out when you saw her fast asleep.

You sighed, out of relief or disappointment, you were unsure. Gently, you brushed your thumb across her cheek. Seeing Jihyo this peaceful almost made you cry.

Undoing the seat belt, you carried her to back to the apartment, and the door was swung open by the eldest, before you knocked.

"Hi, unnie."

"10 on the dot y/n. Good."

Making sure she changed to pyjamas, you tucked her in, leaving a kiss on her temple.

You didn't want to leave her.

"You're not going to ghost her again are you?" That made you freeze. "She missed you so much that she wasn't herself. So I really hope your love for her is sincere."

Nayeon's words ignited that heavy feeling again.

It felt like you couldn't breathe.

"Then she can say goodbye to TWICE."

You had to escape.

"It is. Goodnight unnie."

Unlike your girlfriend, sleep did not reach you easily that night.

-x-

You were mindlessly watching something when there was a knock. Jihyo scowled at you once you opened the door.

"Ji-"

"Did I do something?"

"No?"

"Two months of the bare minimum and I let it go during our date. But then another two weeks of nothing. I'm starting to wonder if you're avoiding me."

Silence.

"Are you?"

Nothing.

"Oh my god, you are. Why?"

Silence again.

"Answer me!"

"Because I'm leaving!"

Jihyo froze in shock.

"What?" She muttered.

"I'm being sent overseas at the end of the month. It got me thinking about what's going to happen to us."

She cupped your face, but you had to fight your instinct to lean in.

"We can make it through this."

Her faith in your shared love, almost made you crumble. You stepped backwards, away from her touch. Ignoring the hurt on her face.

"Can we though? Would you be able to handle the fact that I'll be gone for months at a time? That there could be a time where I don't come home at all? I can't provide you with the stability you deserve."

"And what if I say I don't care? That I would rather have you for moments at a time than be without you entirely."

"Don't be naive. It's not that simple."

"Don't patronise me, y/n."

You closed off again, making your girlfriend feel desperate.

"Please baby, talk to me."

Your nails digging into your palm was the only thing holding you together. You almost took back what you said but steeled yourself at the last second.

"I think you should leave now."

Before the damage becomes irreparable.

Jihyo searched your eyes for the warmth she loved.

But they were blank. Cold. She reached out, but you took another step back.

She got the message. Wordlessly she left, carefully closing the front door.

You stood numb, as you watched her walk away. Until you saw her ignore the bus stop and carry on.

It was raining heavily.

Without a second thought, you drove to catch up to her.

"Jihyo! Let me drive you home."

It was her turn to ignore you.

"Come on, you're gonna get sick."

"What do you care?"

"You can't perform if you're not well."

If anything, she walked faster away.

"Damn it Jihyo, would you just get in the car!"

She flinched.

That was the first time you had shouted at her, and you wanted to kick yourself for ever doing so.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to raise my voice. Please, let me drive you home."

You're still my priority, no matter what happens jagiya.

Jihyo conceded but never said a word. You grabbed a box of tissues and placed it on her lap.

It was difficult to pretend you didn't notice her stray tears.

The car hadn't even stopped before she opened the door and ran into the building.

You finally broke when you got back home.

Frustration, guilt and heartbreak swirled within you.

"Then she can say goodbye to TWICE."

Your sobs turned into wails, as you repeatedly slammed your fist against the steering wheel.

-x-

Lifeless. Exhausted. Those were the best ways to describe you, as you trudged through the airport.

You evaded contact from your brother and friends asking what happened.

Maybe the time away from home would do you good.

"Wait!"

"Unnie?"

Eun Jung managed to catch up.

"Here." She handed a letter addressed to you. "It's from Jihyo."

It felt heavy in your hands.

What if she wrote that she hates and never wants to see you again?

"Unnie. How do you and oppa cope? With being away from one another."

"Some days are better than others. Ultimately though, trust and communication is a foundation in our relationship."

Despite being the same height, you looked so small, unsure, as you picked at the paper. Eun Jung couldn't help but hug you.

"You don't have to tell me what went down between you and Jihyo, but everything will fall into place."

Pulling back, she kissed the top of your head. "Go on now, or else you'll miss your flight."

-x-

It took an hour in the air before you found the courage to read it:

Dear y/n,

The past couple of weeks haven't been the easiest. I kept asking myself what went wrong for the sudden change. I admit I was angry at you for a time.

But I've come to realise that something isn't right. I noticed it on the day you told me you were leaving. Even if you tried to act emotionless there were cracks in your façade, revealing your pain.

I talked to your brother and Eun Jung, who agreed with my conclusion.

So no, I don't accept you pushing me away. I'm not giving up on us, not that easily.

I love you.

Yours truly, Jihyo.

You closed your eyes, not caring about the tears that kept falling.

-x-

Even if you didn't reply, Jihyo would write to you. Mainly talking about what the group was up to that week.

But it made your blood run cold when after so many letters, she stopped writing I love you at the end of them.

Was this it? Is she giving up now? You felt selfish for feeling hurt when you were the one who walked away first.

Min-jun found you in the bar that evening, drowning your heartbreak with alcohol. He was due to go back tomorrow and this was your way coping with that.

You and alcohol mixed together makes you rowdy, so it wasn't long before he had to drag you out.

Your laughter and shouts quietened when you reached the barracks and your brother almost didn't notice the change in mood until you spoke.

"Oppa."

He was taken aback when you clung onto him and started crying.

"What's wrong?!"

"I feel so helpless," your grip on him tightened. "I don't know what to do anymore. I keep hurting her."

You were inconsolable but he managed to coax the whole story out of you. You fell asleep after a while, and he made a call immediately.

"Hey. I'll explain later, but I need your help."

Of all the things he could've imagined being the cause of your turmoil, this wasn't one of them.

"Don't worry sis, I'm here now. You won't be alone anymore." He whispered.

-x-

Your first time overseas with the military went well, but you were glad to be back.

Min-jun drove you home, but it wasn't empty.

"Jihyo..." You couldn't bear to look her in the eye. "You shouldn't be here-"

She didn't let you finish. Crossing the room, pulling you to her until your lips gently met.

It felt like your first kiss together all over again.

But if it was to be the last, then you made sure it was a good one.

"I know. Your brother told me everything." She said once she pulled away. You finally broke in her presence.

"I'm so sorry." You cried. "I never wanted to hurt you. I didn't know what to do." She held you as you trembled.

"I understand why you did that, but you talk to me. I'm with you y/n, that's how this works remember?"

Jihyo wiped the tears away.

"I'm sorry too. You were backed into a situation with no happy outcome no matter what choice you made."

She grasped your hand, pulling you outside. You didn't bother asking where you were going because you'd follow her anywhere.

-x-

After a day of roaming around the city, you found yourselves in front of the river at night. You thought about going to what you both have declared as your playground, but that was a no-go.

"Not here. I don't want to taint the happy memories we have at this place."

You understood what was going through her mind. Deep down, your heart had been preparing for what was about to happen. Did that mean you were ready? No.

"Y/n, I love you. You know that right?"

You hummed in confirmation.

"But?" You prompted.

She turned her gaze forward, curling into herself.

"I got swept up in the passion of our relationship. It was new and exciting because it was the first time I had experienced something like this. What happened though made me see sense again. It was unfair to put you through that. Now it's my responsibility to ensure it doesn't happen again. I can't bear seeing you hurt."

It was silent as you absorbed what she said.

"...Did we just break up?"

"I guess so." She whispered back.

"Huh. That was anticlimactic." You jested, and Jihyo lightly punched your arm.

Oh well, at least you got to make her laugh one last time.

"Come on, I'll walk you home."

-x-

In the blink of an eye, you reached her apartment. She looked to you with tears in her eyes and suddenly it felt real.

"See now it feels like a breakup."

You softly placed your hand on her cheek as she cried.

(Please, ask me to stay and I will. I love you.)

Jihyo shut her eyes and placed her hand over yours, wanting to feel you one more time.

(I love you. Don't go, please stay.)

"I'm not good at them." She didn't have to say what she meant.

"Then I won't say it."

Your lips brushed against her forehead so softly that Jihyo felt like she imagined the gesture.

"Goodnight Jihyo." Goodbye

"Goodnight y/n." Goodbye.

You walked away, ignoring how your heart begged you to turn around and run back to her.

[nestasgalpal]

Can't think straight when we are together Pt. 2 [Nessian smut]

Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4

Nesta’s Gal Pal masterlist | AO3

Tagging:@zoyaslai@champanheandluxxury@pataytayo@nessiantrashh@dustjacketmusings@saltydreamcollector@generalnesta@simpingfornestaarcheron@arinbelle@a-court-of-valkyries@azrielsgirl@swoopingoccamy@vasudharaghavan@vidalinav@sv0430@nessianforlife@claralady@sayosdreams@malluzia@dealfea@kylosmomm

A/N: Don't mind me, I'm just posting a second part to this a year after because I think I know what I want to do with this fic. It's been a year, so if you want to be removed or added to the tagging list, let me know, I just copied the one I had.

He had played well enough to celebrate the victory and mean it. It had been a great game. Tense, to say the least, but in a good way. The type of tense that pushed Cassian to do better. He was not the captain of the football team, Rhy was, but Cassian had been named MVP of the college league the last two seasons, and he planned on keeping the title this year as well now that graduation time was approaching and the draft peaked on the horizon. Preassure to give his all on the field was always welcomed. And if a certain pretty brunette showed up to watch, even if she was accompanied by some other dude, then his teammates could count on Cassian pushing himself to the limit.

Cassian slurred each syllable when he spoke, even if he wasn't drunk yet. "It's too hot in here, I need some air." Az only nodded. Not that the music being blasted through the speakers would have allowed him to be heard anyway. 

The crowd dancing in Feyre's basement, drinking and making out in the darkest corners of the room, forced him to use his elbows to push people in reaching for the stairs. Circumventing these college students proved as challenging as dodging some of his rivals hours earlier. Cassian tightly secured his red cup as he made his way up. Although Feyre's house was not their most frequent meetup place, Cassian had been in there enough times to know where each room was. To know the basement had a door to the garden behind the house, but if he instead used the stairs, he would find himself in the entry hall at the top.

So he went up, and just as he emerged in the predicted space, the front door was being opened by one of his best friends. Mor gave a squeak and jumped to hug him. "Congrats on the win, big boy!" Cassian hugged her back, and she had to go on her tiptoes so her arms could reach around his neck. He thanked her with a shit-eating grin. Both knew this had been one of his best games this season.

"Where were you? I was starting to think I would have to drain the keg all by myself." He joked, momentarily postponing his planned trip for this quick chat. 

"The cheer team had a pre-party I couldn't miss." Mor explained. Cassian didn't believed her, though, as most of the cheer team had arrived before him at the party.

"Excuse me." The soft voice behind them was followed by an even softer touch as Gwyneth Berdara slightly pushed his arm.

Only then did Cassian realize Mor and he were blocking the front door. He quickly let go of his friend's waist and took a step back, leaving enough room between the blond cheerleader and himself for Gwyneth to walk out. She did so without a word or a second look at them. The sudden panic taking over Cassian was enough to block the shame he should have felt instead. He saw the redhead reach for her phone as soon as she stepped outside, right before the door closed behind her. His widen his eyes went back to his friend, who seemed oblivious to the gravity of what had just happened. Only then did he notice who the varsity jacket Mor was wearing belonged to. A siren went off inside his head. Shit. Cassian hadn't noticed she was wearing his name and number. He had assumed it belonged to whatever player she had been screwing before coming to the party.

Surely Gwyn had noticed as well.

Shit.

"It that my jacket?" Obviously, it was. 

"Oh, yeah, sorry, I was cold and kept it. Do you want it back?" She offered it, but didn't take it off. She pouted, knowing he would let her keep it. It would be useless to ask for it now, anyway.

"I thought you gave it to Nesta. Like I asked you to." 

How tight had he and Mor been hugging when Gwyn appeared out of thin air? He wasn't sure. He tried to remember if his name on the back of the jacket had been visible to the girl, but soon discovered that he couldn't. A message had probably been sent from Gwyn's phone to Nesta's describing what she thought she had seen. She would be wrong in her assumption, but it kind of made his planned trip to the second floor redundant now, nevertheless.

"She didn't want it, Cass. I promise I offered it to her, and she said she already had a jacket. Now, I don't know if she meant hers or the jacket that guy besides her was wearing."

Cassian closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Shit Mor, you should have told me. I thought she had taken it."

"Hey, don't be upset with me. It's not my fault." She protested, her pouting lips now more exaggerated. "To be honest, I think this was for the best. Please, Cass, I am begging you to put two and two together and realize that she didn't want your name on her back because she simply doesn't want you. Or else, she wouldn't have gone to the game with a date."

His head snapped at that. "So it was a date? How would you know?" Cassian had always trusted Mor's intuition in this area. She understood girls' behavior way better than he did.

Taking the red cup from his hand and sipping from it, Mor rolled her eyes. "Listen, I don't want to hurt your feelings, especially not tonight, but Nesta Archeron doesn't give a fuck about football, so if her pretty ass was there, it had to be that guy's idea. And she must like him a lot to agree to the plan. Did she tell you she would be there?" He said no with his head. "And why is that? Because she..." Mor pushed a finger against his chest. "Doesn't. Care. About. You."

Cassian just stood there, unconvinced. He wished Mor had insisted more.

"But I still went up there to their seats and offered, like you asked me to, because I do care about you." She kept going. "As does Rhys. Do you think he would like to find out you are trying to get into Nesta's pants?" She arched an eyebrow. "You know he is not precisely fond of her."

The silence, Cassian hoped, let Mor know he was not in the mood to get deeper into that conversation right now. "Yeah, you are right." He considered taking his cup back, but decided not to. Mor could keep his cup and take it downstairs with her advice and opinions. He had to go up, he was now determined. "Az was asking for you down there." The cheerleader's face lightened when he changed the subject, suddenly reminded that there was, in fact, a party waiting for her in the basement.

"Shall we go?" She offered.

"I was actually looking for a bathroom." Cassian excused himself. "I don't trust the one downstairs." He joked. She didn't push it, she simply gave him another quick hug and headed towards the music.

He gave himself a second to clear his head. To mentally curse himself, Mor and this night that had seemed so full of potential until five minutes ago. The stairs to the second floor of the Archeron's house were right there. I should go to her room, Cassian told himself. To explain myself. And so, with the confidence only a guy like him could have, he resumed his original route towards Nesta Archeron's bedroom.

Unknown territory.

It would be easy for him to pitch himself tonight. Pitching both of them, actually, presents Nesta with the idea of what they could become. In a perfect scenario, Nesta would listen. In the case that Gwyneth had misinformed her of what she thought she had seen in the hall, it might require a little more convincing. But Cassian made his way up, truly believing this would be the night he told Nesta what he wanted.

Loud and clear.

The hallway he ended up in was silent, as if there was no party happening in the basement at that very moment. It was pitch dark, and wanting to be as sneaky as possible, instead of turning on the lights, Cassian used his phone's flashlight to find Nesta's bedroom door. A decorative piece of wood in the shape of a perfect "N" hang from the door. Knowing all the residents of the house except Feyre —downstairs— and Nesta herself —at the other side of the wooden panel— were away, he knocked, not allowing his confidence to slip away.

Yes, Nesta had refused to take his jacket when Mor offered it in his name, but not once had she said no to fucking him. If she knew he was on the other side of the door, she would open it for him. When she didn't answer, Cassian knocked again. "Nes, it's me." He had to wait again, but this time he heard the muffled footsteps getting closer. Then, the door opened, and Cassian's grin returned to his face. "Hey." He leaned on the door, knowing from experience that women found the way his muscles flexed to be sexy.

Nesta's half-closed eyes didn't really react, though. "What do you want?" She asked bluntly.

"Were you sleeping?" The question was a courtesy. He could smell in the thick air of the room what she had been up to, despite the open window by the bed. The red eyes were proof as well.

"Yes." She lied. "Did you get lost?" Her sexy lack of patience was amusing and just what he had wanted to be greeted by.

There was soft music playing from her phone on the bed. "I'm almost where I want to be, actually." Cassian said, his eyes wandering through the room behind his girl.

The eye contact that followed was intense. Cassian wouldn't break it, he could stare at her annoyed frown for ages and never get tired. And Nesta wouldn't either, as she simply couldn't stand to lose. She had her hair up in a ponytail that had been perfectly neat maybe an hour ago and now struggled to contain a few pieces of hair that were too short in the front and framed her face. Although Cassian was sure there were a pair of shorts on her legs, they weren't visible under the big t-shirt she used as pajamas. The band logo was unrecognizable after so many trips to the washing machine over the years.

Knowing very few people were allowed to see the perfect Nesta Archeron looking this disheveled, but he was, only filled his chest with excitement. Because not only was he allowed to see it, he was also allowed to take her out of those clothes and make an even bigger mess of her.

"Are you going to stand there forever?"

"Until you invite me in." He retorted.

She rolled her eyes, but stepped to the side and opened the door enough for him to enter. He walked to the middle of the room and heard the door close behind him. "I don't think I've ever seen your bedroom." She didn't answer, nor did she address his presence when she walked back to her bed and jumped in. Cassian just stood there, taking in the empty white walls, the blue stripes of her sheets, and the fluffy rug in the middle of the room.

"I hate shoes inside the house." Cassian needn't be told twice. His socks were stark white, and Nesta took notice. Hers were as well. "Matching," she mumbled distractedly.

The only light came from a round lamp by her bed. It was warm and threw yellowy shades across the walls, the bed and her face. She looked relaxed, and Cassian wondered if he had ever seen her like this. So calm and comfortable. He absolutely hadn't. He would remember. Like he remembered the first and only time he had made her laugh out loud —and actually chuckle. Cassian felt like he should have, though. Hadn't he made her feel good in his arms? He had. Six times, no less.

But Nesta hadn't looked this at ease. Almost the opposite, he realized. She had wanted to get out of his embrace as soon as they were done. She always ran from him.

Well, not anymore. Tonight, he would demand she give him more —at least a chance—, or else they would be done forever.

Please, prove them wrong, he begged her. Prove you do care about me.

From the bed, Nesta stretched her arm to open a drawer. "Do you want some?" An untouched joint was offered to him.

"I've been told I am insufferable when I am drunk and high." He joked. Nesta's lips curled up, remembering the moment she spoke those words.

"You really are." She scouted to the side, leaving room for him on the bed. "But you are not drunk, though."

Absolutely not. He needed his mind to be clear for this. Nesta's parted lips were distracting enough. Her smell. The skin of her thigh hot against the back of his hand when he sat down. Their eyes met, and Cassian cursed himself for accepting the silent offer and getting in her bed. This was not what he had come up here for.

Had she not leaned in, Cassian might had found in him the strength to get up again. But she did lean in, and his body followed suit. She kissed him. He kissed her back, and Nesta was quick to make it deeper, to make it hungry and needy. His hand cupping her face was meant to steady them, as surely were Nesta's on his hair. And his arm finding its place around her waist, or her legs now straddling him.

Yes, when his hand left her pretty face and met its double on Nesta's other hip, his goal was to make sure she was comfortably sitting on top of him. The grinding it caused was collateral damage. The seam of his jeans rubbed the right inch on her body, and soon Nesta was moaning in his mouth.

Hadn't she leaned in, Cassian would be standing on the fluffy carpet, pouring his heart out for her. But she did. And so he was now stripping her of her t-shirt and delighting himself in the realization that Nesta had not been wearing any kind of shorts under it. Just some lovely black panties he was quick to pull aside.

"Fuck!" She let out when his fingers pushed inside her. She was soaking wet just from making out.

There was no excuse for that.

"Tell me what you want." He demanded.

With her mouth open in a silent exclamation, Nesta rode his hand like she should be riding his cock. He curled his two fingers inside her, making her tremble. To keep her balance, Nesta's palms came to rest on his chest, supporting her weight. With her arms at her sides and her back arched, Nesta's tits were pushed right to his face. Not wanting to disrespect his host, Cassian's mouth was on them in an instant.

Hadn't she leaned in...

Nesta tried her best to contain her whimpers, and he did his best to steal new ones from her lips. "Tell me what you want." He repeated, now that Nesta was approaching her climax.

"I just want to come." She pleaded. Her gray eyes found his and gave him that look that almost had him coming in his pants. "Please, Cassian, make me come."

"And what do I get?" He teased, freeing her nipples from the pleasure and torture of his tongue on them. She shuddered, probably feeling the cold now that they were wet with his saliva.

Nesta didn't answer, so he had to be tougher on her. She was lost in her thoughts, bouncing on his hand and enjoying the feeling of his thumb on her clit. With his left hand, Cassian halted her movement just so he could slip his right from under her. Nesta whimpered again, but this time it was unsatisfaction what lingered on her pouting lips. An unexpected swat across her butcheeks made her jump slightly. It had taken her by surprise, although it shouldn't have. She knew what would come when she didn't answer him the first time. "What do I get, Nes?" Cassian was getting tired of repeating himself. She knew better. He spanked her again, just because he wanted to see her tits bounce in his face when she felt it and reacted.

Like a cat, Nesta stretched her body and rested it flat on top of his, gaining access to his neck and covering it in kisses. It was Cassian's turn to groan, more so when she nibbled his earlobe, and he practically melted when Nesta's plump lips sought his again. She was such a smooth kisser, so good at it, Cassian almost forgot she was the one supposed to be begging for his touch, not the other way around. He rolled over, pressing her against the bed now, and grabbed her tits with perhaps more force than needed. Not that Nesta ever complained about sex getting a bit rough. He kneaded them and pulled her nipples to his will, enjoying how hard they got against his palms and how she arched her back for more. When her tongue entered his mouth, Cassian knew she was desperate.

"Anything you want." She promised, thinking she knew exactly what he would take as compensation. "You can have me any way you want, but please," A pause to let out a moan right by his ear, "please, make me come."

Cassian was quick enough in taking down his jeans that Nesta didn't complain about his warm body leaving hers. He wasn't quick enough to put on the condom she handed him from the bedside table, though, so Nesta got on her knees in front of him, matching his pose, and started kissing him again whilst he opened the silver square and wrapped himself in the rubber. When he was done, Cassian wasn't able to tell who was hornier. He only knew one second his hands were in Nesta's ass, taking her in the air, so she could wrap her legs around him, and the next he had slammed their bodies against the mattress again and was fucking her for all he was worth.

It would have been great to say she came quickly and repaid the favor by sucking him, but after all that grinding, Cassian was as close to coming as she was. She squeezed him so tightly he stood no chance, and soon they were both panting, Cassian all the way in and Nesta holding on to him like her life depended on it, needing him even closer. When the climax ran through them, Cassian didn't pull out, nor did she urge him to. Instead, her fingertips started dancing through his back. Making circles at first, then more complicated shapes. Something like triangles, then curves, and more sharp angles right after.

Cassian thanked his past self for staying sober tonight, so he was conscious enough to understand the meaning of the lines she drew.

"Come on a date with me." He whispered against her ear.

"No." Her answer came immediately. Not harshly, at least not with the intention to be harsh. She said the wordas a matter of fact. Empty of feeling.

He closed his eyes. Why? Wasn't this what she wanted? For him to be blunt with his expectations? "You said anything I wanted." Cassian reminded her. He didn't move. Their bodies were still tangled over her bed: him inside her, her legs caging his waist, and her arms hugging his neck. How could Nesta reject him while holding him with such care? 

As if she had read his mind, Nesta let go of him completely, and he had no choice but to sit up. Somehow quicker than Cassian had been when he took them out, Nesta gave him his underwear and jeans back for him to put them on. "I meant something like a blowjob and to swallow." Her coarse words hurt his ego more than his feelings. He didn't answer.

Cassian got up and pulled up his pants, then seated himself again and stared at her, a question in his eyes. She could read it—she in fact did—, but didn't answer. Cassian wondered, had she not leaned in, would he have been brave enough to ask her out with the words he had carried from the football field? Would the result have been the same, or was the fact that they always fucked first, talked later what made them go in circles?

"It was a good game. You did good." Her suddenly bringing that up only made things more awkward. 

"Yeah." Cassian would rather leave now than sit through the silence that followed. He stayed, though, waiting for who knows what to happen and fix the atmosphere, to turn it into... what, exactly? She must have felt it too —the lack of appropriate words to end this night.

Cassian ran a hand through his hair. Nesta fixed it, her touch a ghost. He looked at her and demanded an explanation with just a stare. Nesta didn't give him that either.

"You should go down." She told him. There was no sharpness in her tone, and maybe that was her way of saying she was sorry.

Accepting his fate and just wanting to leave on a good note, Cassian raised a teasing eyebrow and eyed what was between her legs.

"Not that." There it was: the eye rolling, the cute annoyance. "I meant downstairs, to the party. They are probably looking for you."

Indeed.

"You are saying a lot of things you don't mean tonight, Nes. It's kind of confusing."

The accusation finally woke her up from the post-orgasm haze. She jumped out of bed, leaving her t-shirt behind, and going for the door. "You are confusing." Her voice told Cassian she meant it.

"I think I've made myself pretty clear, though. Haven't I?" He took his shoes in one hand and followed her.

"Haven't I?" She retorted, turning around to face him. The defiance in her eyes burned bright, giving her an intimidating glow that compensated her lack of a top. Cassian didn't even look at her tits.

She opened the door for him. He closed it before the gap was wide enough for him to go through.

"Would it kill you to give me a chance?" He finally spat. 

"A chance for what, Cassian? What exactly do you expect? To continue with the fucking, but once a week, grab dinner together?" 

"Well, yeah." Cassian still couldn't understand what was so awful about spending time with him outside their bedroom, a small bathroom or an empty classroom. Be seen out in the open, grab her hand and kiss it just because he feels like it. For Nesta to wear his jersey to his games and celebrate with him and his friends afterward. Grab dinner when their schedules allow, and then go home together.

Nesta held his stare, and this time he couldn't read it. Which could only mean she didn't want him to. Cassian sighed.

"Okay, so whatever I want?" He brought up Nesta's sex-induced promise again. "Just give me a reason I can understand." When she opened her mouth, Cassian's finger sealed it again. "If you want a guy to get you drinks at a party, why can't it be me? If you want to hang out with a guy on a Friday night and go watch a game together,  why won't you let it be me? And don't give me an I don't like you, because you clearly do. What is so awful about me that you don't want to even try?"

When she closed her eyes, unable to look into his, Cassian's heart sank, understanding that there was a reason after all.

"I've tried." She confessed. "I've seen what spending time with you is like, and I don't want it." Not only didn't Cassian interrupt her, but he urged her to keep going, curious to see where she was going. "I've been in a room with you and your friends and remember what was said to me for even looking in your direction a little too long." She started counting with her fingers. "I've spent the afternoon with you guys and been completely ignored by every single one, including you, although I was invited to be there. We've had lunch, I've been trapped at one of your dinner parties and on Feyre's birthday, and there is nothing you can possibly offer me in a relationship to make up for how awful I've been treated every single time and how you did nothing to stop it from happening. How stupid do you think I am to sign up for that again?"

Cassian was equal parts offended on his friend's behalf and his own. Had it been anyone else in front of him, he wouldn't have bitten his tongue at the insult to his friends. They had never spoken ill of her to her face or purposefully tried to exclude her. She simply didn't fit in with the group, and that was okay. They could spend time alone.

"If that is what I'm getting myself into..." She corrected herself, saying, "If that is what you can offer me, then I don't want it."

"Don't you think a relationship is a little more complicated than liking my friends or not?"

"I am in Pre-Med, Cassian, I don't have the time for complicated. I want easy. This..." She signaled between the two, "This is easy. And I like it a lot."

It was his time to be cold. "Sorry, but this won't do it for me." Cassian took a step back, putting much-needed physical space between them. "Obviously, I can't be with someone who thinks that about my friends."

She agreed and stepped to the side, making room to open the door for him. "And I can't be with someone who would let their friends say exactly the same things about me." It was the brief silence as the words sank in what pushed her to keep going. "To be honest, and I am not saying this to be hurtful, you don't deserve more."

Cassian only nodded, not necessarily in agreement, not fully differing either. He understood.

"Have a good life, Nes." He just walked away.