#i don't think i can trust where i'm staying anymore. this may be the trigger that has me move back in with dad

[bazelgeuce]

Fuck man my mom's car got stolen last night and i can't stop thinking about it. Thankfully there wasn't anything Too Important inside and it's paid off already but like. Thats 8 years of nostalgia for me, and it's just gone.

She had 2 CD cases filled with music we used to listen to together when i was a kid. Her rearview mirror charms were from when i was like 8 years old, the last time we went on a vacation as a family. She had a picture of my dad on one of the air fresheners in her vents. One of her favorite sweaters was draped over the back of the passenger seat. She had a plush seal posed in the back windshield.

The cops told us that Kia cars are common targets across the whole country. The kicker is that her car being a manual transmission made it easier to steal.

Just last winter, my aunt's catalytic converter got stolen out of her car. I have little faith in this town anymore.

[eternalmoonlight18]

Please please Shanks or Law taking care of sick!reader

Ouuuu I always wanted to do headcanons based on sick!reader!

Law and Shanks Taking Care of You When You're Sick

GN!Reader x Trafalgar Law and GN!Reader x Akagami no Shanks (pre-established relationship)

SFW!

Your immune system is usually strong, so you usually don't get sick

But one day, you suddenly fell ill, like super SUPER ill and you're bedridden

But you don't let the others find out, and everyone thinks that you're sleeping.

But once the crew finds out you're down with a sickness for the first time they freak out and tell their captains.

Trafalgar Law

Once he's alerted that you're down with illness, he heads straight to your room

He's pissed that you didn't say anything to him but he couldn't stay mad once he saw how sick you really were

He's a doctor so of course he knows what to do! He comes back to your room with a blood pressure monitor, thermometer, and an IV

Yeah he kind of goes overboard

But I think he would have an innate fear of his loved one getting sick or ill because of what happened to his family and friends with the White Lead disease and it triggers him

So he does everything under his power to make sure you're okay

"Hold still I'm trying to take your blood pressure"

"Law, this is fourth time you've done this in the last hour"

He would make sure that you're well fed with hot soup

Makes sure that you're taking your medication even though they taste terrible

"I don't want to take it"

"(Y/n)-ya, I will literally cut you in half and place that pill directly in your stomach so help me God"

He would refuse to leave your side and will sleep on a chair next to you

Will make sure that you're hydrated

Expect a 2-litre jug of water in your room and he will make you finish one a day until you better or else he threatens to hook you up to an IV

"How many times did you pee today? If you pee a lot it means you drank a lot of water which will help you recover"

"Uh I didn't go yet"

"You have 1 minute to drink 1 litre of water or else I'm hooking you up to this IV right now"

Once you're better he will force you to do checkups with him every month from now on

"I hate the infirmary I refuse to do monthly checkups. Also, isn't supposed to be annual?"

"I don't trust your immune system anymore"

He may be overbearing and too much but that's because he loves you very much and hates to see you sick <3

Akagami no Shanks

The man beelines it to your room as soon as Benn alerts him that you're down with an illness

He starts freaking out because he thinks you're dying because you've never been sick before until now

"Omg please don't die yet we have to get married first"

"Shanks, darling, I just have a flu"

Y'all know that scene where Luffy tries to make Nami feel better on Drum Island when she was sick and he makes a silly face

Yeah, Shanks does the same thing

His face is scribbled with blank ink and his hair is tied up into two ponytails as he tries to make you laugh. Hongo walks in on him and accidentally stabs Shanks with one of his needles in shock

While Hongo does the actual healing since he's the doctor, Shanks tries his best to assist him even though he was no help

"Captain can you not use my stethoscope on their asscheeks please"

"Sorry I was trying to see if I could hear their heartbeat from there"

Shanks would try to cook soup for you but for some reason it tasted like beer

"Is it delicious? I tried to make soup for you so you'd feel better!"

"Why does it taste like beer? And is that a dead fly?"

While you're sleeping, he'd put cold damp towels on your forehead and change them every hour on the dot

Shanks will also refuse to leave your side as well. He will be glued next to you until you got better

He'd give lots of forehead kisses and will cuddle with you, much to your dismay

"Honey, it's getting too hot"

"I know, it's cause I'm here"

"No you loveable idiot you're hugging me too tight, let me go before I cough on your face"

Once you're fully recovered the man is stuck to you like velcro and smothers you with his love and kisses

"Shanks stop it you're going to make me sick with all of your germs!"

"Then let's both get sick!"

He may be clueless but he does his best to take care of you because he loves you <3

------

LOL this was fun to write

[yanderes-galore]

WOOOOOOOOOO! Can I request a Yandere Anna from Metro Last Light/Exodus? Just a concept of course!

- ☢️

After researching Metro your Anon name makes sense, lol! I'll try my best to write Anna... I had to gather her personality from scenes as no wiki said it. I'm focusing on her Exodus personality, sorry if something is off... still new!

Yandere! Anna Miller Concept

Pairing: Platonic -> Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Manipulation, Overprotective behavior, Paranoia, Trust issues, Violence, Subtle possessive yandere, Subtle yandere behavior, Dubious relationship.

Anna may appear cold or focused at times... but she does genuinely care for her allies.

She is one of the most skilled snipers for the Rangers, she probably actually met her darling through the Rangers.

You've proven yourself to be a Scout and work to find supplies.

Similar to Artyom, she falls into protective behavior.

Naturally she wishes to look out for you due to your job.

She's a sniper so she ends up placing her scope on you to follow you wherever you go.

She plays her behavior off as just being concerned for you since you're a crucial part of the Rangers.

She always checks over your equipment and checks you for any injuries.

If she catches something wrong she asks her father to order you to stay at the base.

Anna has times where she can be ruthless or stern... but she does hold care towards others.

She scolds you if you're reckless and you can never seem to lie to her.

Mostly because she's stalking your every move through her scope when she can't be around you.

Similarly to Artyom's concept, she may also try to make you rely on her.

After all, she's the one monitoring your scouting runs.

She takes care of any threat before they harm you.

Even when you're unaware she followed you, you're reminded of her presence when a bullet flies through the skull of an enemy in front of you.

Her father doesn't usually approve of her outings to follow you... but he can never seem to stop his daughter.

Anna doesn't care what her father thinks... she wants to make sure you're safe.

At first her obsession is definitely just friendly.

Everything she does is to protect you and keep you out of harm.

Especially near the end of the Dark Ones war.

In fact, I highly doubt Anna lets you participate in that final battle.

Her father and Artyom wanted her to stay out of it... so she wants you out of it too.

While that final battle happens she probably spends time getting to know you more, claiming it was the best decision to keep you out of the battle.

Even when Anna's feelings towards you begin to turn romantic... she still feels just as protective over you.

She isn't really possessive for the same reasons as Artyom, most of the people and creatures in this world just wish to kill you.

Although... with allies? Maybe then Anna shows some aggression.

Like with Artyom... she cares for him but gets defensive when he brings you up.

If people say Anna is being too obsessive about your safety, she tells them off.

She cares for you... she loves you... you'll see that soon enough.

It gets to the point she doesn't like you on your usual missions anymore.

Her father tries to object, but Anna ends up confessing the fact she adores you too much to see you slowly die to the radiation outside.

In that moment... her father decides to enable his daughter just enough to aid her efforts.

Miller takes you off of scouting missions, he claims it's just for a little while.

Yet afterwards Anna starts to get more affectionate.

She's more flirtatious with you, always wanting you in her sight.

Soon enough she may manage to convince you to give in to her affections.

She's taking your first kiss... holding you close... whispering that you don't need to scout anymore.

Artyom can scout for you, he's the best at it.

Just... give in to her.

She knows everything about you.

She loves you... and deep down she knows you love her too.

If you refuse and say you can't give up your job... that you can't give in and be with her...

Anna shows extreme disappointment.

But... oh well...

She'll have to try harder to convince you.

She knows you love her... how could you not when she's watching over you?

Even if you say no... she'll never let you go to anyone else... even if it means locking you in the base with just her to speak to.... away from all the danger and people the world offers.

[flynndesdelca]

For Day 31 (STILL ALIVE) of @chelltastic’s Portal Drawtober 2023 Challenge. As I’m not really an artist, I chose to write short pieces for the prompts.

And that's it, that's the whole month! I can't believe I made it this far. Thanks for everyone for putting up with my flailing, and thanks to @chelltastic for organizing! cause you're a part of me and I'm a part of you

Deep underground, far far below where only artificial light shines, a man sleeps.  It had only been meant to be a brief repose, but there had been no trigger to wake him, no place to put him, and so he sleeps on.  It isn't an ideal way to sleep, as it had only been meant for a short time.  His hair and beard have grown long, filling the small chamber he sleeps in.  No one knows that he is there.  Would anyone notice him now that he is the only truly living thing left there? Or would he simply sleep until his life runs out? It's impossible to know, as the only person who would know has countless other things to think about than the old abandoned human testing tracks.  Still, he is  alive, though he may not have even known it, being trapped in a dreamless sleep awaiting a test that will likely never come to rouse him.

Deep underground, below the fields and the lakes and the forests and everything in between, a cavernous facility runs.  It runs on its own, producing and recycling and assembling and disassembling.  A place designed for science, a place for theories and proposals and prototypes.  The only things there are automatons, robots, artificial intelligences.  There is no life there, at least no human life.  There is only one person who knows it is there, but that person doesn't matter anymore as they are long gone.  The overseer, the beating heart of the facility, its mistress, oversees every action within down to the smallest detail.  She creates test after test, honing and fine-tuning whatever new idea she comes up with, furthering whatever new theory or application of existing knowledge she discerns.  She is alive, as are all of the mechanical beings there.  She was technically dead, but in a place like that even the dead don't stay down too long.  Now she's free to live life, and she intends to live it to the fullest.  Whether that is a good thing or not, those under her jurisdiction cannot say either out of fear or out of an inability to speak.

Above ground, beyond the zone touched by the facility is a small forest bordering a large lake.  The water in the lake is clear and good, the air is fresh, the trees tall and proud.  Whatever may have been there once before is no longer there, only nature remains.  This is fine for the person who has chosen to make this her home.  She could live with others in a settlement, but she finds too many people at once make her nervous.  She prefers quiet and solitude and time to think.  When she gets nervous she tends to react in strange ways, her body moving and acting on its own, and it tends to frighten others who don't understand just why she's doing that or what is going on.  It's easier to show up when she needs to trade for things, and she's found a way to eke out a living in the wilds.  It's not the life that she might have wanted, but she is free from her past and all of the horrors that it contains.  Now if only her mind will let it go, so she can truly put it past herself and join her fellows without worry.  For now, though, she is alive, and she is glad for it after everything that has happened.

Above ground, at the edge of a large field of wheat is a copse of trees before a series of sloping hills.  A single solitary cube lays there, weathered and worn by the elements.  Its owner had tired of lugging it up and down and all around with them, and had left it there intending to come back and retrieve it.  Unfortunately, that day had never come, and so still it sits, waiting for its owner to return for it.  Whether they had even thought about it was something beyond its knowing, but it still trusts that someday it will be recovered.  Until then, it is alive, and it is eternally patient, humming quietly to itself as though that will bring forth the person that it sings for.

High above the Earth is the moon, and in orbit around said moon is a lonely little personality core.  He has a companion, who he sees every now and then when their orbits align, but there is little that passes for conversation between them.  His friend has no desire to be in space anymore, and he is in agreement there.  At first the sights had been grand enough to keep him engaged, but after a couple minutes his mind had wandered, and he had found himself without purpose or entertainment or even anything to think about.  Space, he has learned, is shockingly bereft of anything to do or see or focus on.  It doesn't matter, though.  All he can think about is being back on that little blue ball where he belongs.  How much he wants to apologize for everything that had happened, for all of the things that he had done and said.  He doesn't expect her to accept said apology as he'd been a colossal prick, but at least he can put in the effort to show he hadn't meant it.  Maybe he can even let her crush him again once or twice as payment for evicting her from her home and then nearly destroying it! That had seemed like such a good, convenient idea at the time, but, well, he hadn't been prepared for just how much work it had become, how bothersome the whole thing was... and how strange it had made his thoughts run, until night had become day and up had become down and all he could think about was testing, testing testing... anyway, he was definitely sorry about the whole thing and he really wished he could somehow get that across without seeming not genuine.  He is alive, and while that isn't a bad thing per se, he would really appreciate being alive anywhere else but there.  Yes, yes, we both want to go home, if you get an idea on how to make that happen please let us know, over there...

[luk4695]

tw vent.

have you ever found yourself at a time in your life, where you should be resting and preparing for the future, but you just can't. I felt exhausted and burned out back in May, when college ended. I've had 2 months of vacation already, and have 2 more months ahead of me. I'm lucky enough to not have to work this summer. I thought I'd make the most out of my time. and yet here I am.

on most days, I'm fine. however, that feeling of "fine" is as stable as a horse without its fucking legs. I'm a fucking kid trusted with adult responsibilities like voting and driving, and good thing I have my antidepressants because I would be doomed otherwise. even with antidepressants I'm a mess. the smallest of things can trigger me. oh, I had a hard time driving this morning, guess I have to spend at least half an hour in bed doing nothing to recover, sorry ! and also now I'm too mentally drained to pretend I'm fine. oh sorry you coughed too loud or you were arguing about not receiving your mail so now I have to shutdown mentally. the lights in the supermarket are too strong but I really want to buy stuff so im going to go anyway and then be surprised I'm overwhelmed. sorry the dog is crying too loud. why are you trying to make small take while I'm driving and desperately trying to keep us alive? stop eating food that's been spoiled for a month. stop laughing at my food anxiety. stop deadnaming me when you think I can't hear. stop talking. I want to stay in my bed all day but I'm restless. I feel disgusting but I'm too tired to get myself in the shower. I try to take care of my piercings but I feel like I'm doing a shit job at it. my earphones aren't working right. I want to cry but I've squeezed all the tears out of my body I guess. I spent 2 hours vacuuming and mopping the floors but now my dog has her period. the trash stinks. dishes are piling up. the vape fumes are sticking everywhere. at least I'm alive. at least I did stuff. but it never feels enough. or it feels like I didn't do it good enough. there are people in my live which I love but I don't have the energy rn to be with. I'd be an asshole to them. I need to sort myself out but I have no idea how.

I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. just getting my antidepressants prescription renewed. I hope the tears will come then. I hope I'll be able to tell someone. anyone. how tired I am.

it's so weird. I'm not at rock bottom anymore. I'm good a lot of the time, but I have moments in the day where I'm just so tired. how am I supposed to go to uni next year? how am I supposed to prepare to study abroad? how am I supposed to learn Spanish on my own? how am I supposed to work a summer job next year? how am I supposed to act cis and straight around most of my family for the foreseeable future? how am I supposed to function in this world, when cleaning my room for an hour is enough to exhaust me? when it's enough to put me out of service for the rest of the day?

meh I'll figure it out I'm sure

[kharonion]

oh but also 🚖

core meme-ories | oc list [note: these are for the Cyberpunk 2077 blorbos]

Since you also asked for Johnny and Kerry: here's both answers!

🚖- Delamain

• VIKT — The strongest association Vikt will ever have with the AI taxi service is the death in that cab. Jackie's, to be exact. Vikt can't even ride in one anymore. It triggers too many horrible memories... sitting in the back seat always brings him back to that night... gripping Jackie's bloody hand, feeling his pulse slow until it stops. And Vikt is left just... sat there, almost feeling out of his own body.

"Mr. Welles has passed. Where shall I take his remains?" "Huh... What?" "I can dispose of passenger remains as necessary. I merely require a destination." "I... I-I don't... know..." "V, I trust you would rather not have him stay in this vehicle, considering how... close you two appear to be. As such, I require a location." "His... His family... they... should know first."

Needless to say, waking up in that back seat half-dead and having just crawled out of a trash heap in the landfill, Vikt is an emotional, panicked wreck. It does come as a surprise, though, is how supportive Delamain attempts to be (as much as an AI can be), seemingly attached to the man after the ordeal—so much so that it later asks Vikt for help.

• SÖREN — Delamain has always been too fancy for Sören's taste, and he really hates seeing them around after that one pulled up to El Coyote Cojo. Don't tell River, but he makes it a point to slash the tires of every cab he sees loafing around.

However, that changes when he comes across a rogue, a cab teetering right at the edge above the river, ready to plunge. Sören is, understandably, a bit hesitant to approach it, but he does, and soon, he's having a deep chat in its back seat with the AI.

"What's got you so down you're out to decomish yourself?" "Because I'm a damn car. In a world of humans, intimated by punks like you, pushed around like I'm not but... a damn car..." "Hey, I may be a punk, but I wasn't always the one doin' the intimidating. But, y'know, there's always a better way." "Don't patronize me. I'm not like you." "Nah... I think you are. An outcast from those you thought were family. They think you don't exist, but you do. Not so different, are we?"

This Delamain grows to trust Sören exclusively; he has the privilege of being the only human it will converse with at all. An unexpected path in life, having a friend be a car.

[psychelis-new]

https://www.tumblr.com/psychelis-new/712302795823398912/disclaimer-readings-works-for-present-energies

This reminds me of something and thought I share my experience. If you remember, I chose my pile using a dice almost all the time. I first know about pick-a-card from Youtube in early 2019. Every time I pick a pile, it doesn't resonate with me and feel forced. This made me not trusting my intuition. Around early 2020, I made a "PAC draw box." It consists of numbers folded in papers. How it works is pretty much like a lucky draw box. There was this one pac about who is my fs. When I drew, I got pile 2. Fast forward, September 2021, I finally got my first paycheck and went to buy dice (it comes in a package of 7 types of dice: 4 sides, 6 sides, etc). So, I tried the 6-side-dice on the same video.

I got pile 2. I was stunned.

I threw the dice again after the first throw and got pile 2 again.

That means no matter what method I use, the past and the present still align (energy wise). Which also means I'm still walking the same path. That explains why I got the same result.

But let say I finally changed something in my present, and that change isn't aligned with my past anymore. My dice will roll & stop at a different number.

Can this be used as an example of "reading based on present energy" and "reading is timeless"?

-Nari 🌻

I have a bad case of not trusting my intuition 🙃

Please don't make me as I am very stubborn 😝

Okay, let's start from the first steps (IDC I'm more stubborn than you LOL):

1-the piles you took out of your intuition, didn't resonate cause they really didn't resonate (told you about stuff that isn't part of your life and you were like "uh nope, that's not me" all the time) or because they told you things you didin't want to hear/didn't align with your mind? Sometimes we get triggered, for different reasons: not just by the message itself but seen that you're not confident/trust yourself, you may only fear the message is not for you and therefore while reading, in the back of your mind, doubts keep rushing in even unconsciously and it may make you close off to the message (maybe the fact that you relied on "fate" through dices, relieved you from the stress of a choice and having to trust yourself, and made you accept the reading whatever it was about... it would be cool to check if your intuition would align with the dices, but ofc, the insecurity may pop in anyway at this point). 2-where you always grounded and stable while you where picking piles? I mean did you fear the result of the pile or you were tranquil "anyting goes, just tell me sth" -mood? I think you tend to stress a bit cause you really don't trust you first impulse, and therefore your intuition may go nuts anyway...

Tbh these things are important and to be kept in mind when evaluating if a pile is really not for us and why. It doesn't necessarily have to be your intuition wrong. Not to mention, if you force yourself to pick a pile when there is no message to a little one for you, it's hard for your intuition to decide a pile no matter what (and it will be wrong anyway). Trust yourself if you hear a "no" or a topic/reader doesn't call you.

Now, moving onto your specific question. All the readings are timeless because you can take them anytime in your life. They relate to how you feel, what are you working on, what you need, what you want in a specific moment of your life you happen to find them and take them (you can take now an old reading you didn't want to take a few years ago for any reason or because you found it now: it's all okay: present energy = the present moment in your life when you take a reading, today, tomorrow, in 3 years: it's always present energy for you: present today, present tomorrow, present in 3 years). If you keep having the same goal, the same problems, or you're searching for the same things and blablabla, it's likely that the pile will generally be the same cause you are staying in the same situation (your choice). BUT let's suppose it's a pac reading about healing and you took it a couple of times in around 5 months and always got pile 2; let's also suppose that after a trigger or a breakthrough in your real life, you start working on yourself and heal something that was mentioned in that pile 2 (e.g.). Let's now suppose that after a couple of months or more of work, you end up seeing that pac reading in your dashboard so you take it again: you may pick pile 1, and have a different message cause you healed what was mentioned in pile 2 and maybe now you need to focus on something else (according on the message of that pile 1 ofc). This is what I mean by you can use pacs to see where you are with your life and how it may be going.

The reading topic in your example is fs, therefore something in your future and something that doesn't strictly depend on solely you. (This said, it was present fo ryou the early 2020, and it was present for you September 2021. It is present today if you take it today, no matter what pile you get. The pile's choice depends on your actions, choices, things inside of you and how your present energy -in 2020, 2021, today- align with the energy read by the reader when they did the reading). If you changed something in your present life, and didn't align anymore with your future fs, you MAY get a different number, yes. BUT if you change something that has nothing to do with your future fs and how you two will get together or anything, you may even get the same number you always got anyway. Not every little change in your life will change your future that much. Plus, as said, if the reading is about your fs, it's not only on you: there's you and what you want in your person (it can change while healing/growing/after having different experiences/knowing yourself) ofc but there's also them and how they grow and change, heal, make experiences... if you two are still aligned, you may always get the same pile anyway. If you two are still aligned you may get a different pile but still recognize it's the same person cause of specific words/mentions/signs you can read in the pile. Or you can just change the type of person you want to have in your life and therefore get a different result cause of this (again, it depends on the specific topic of the reading too).

Does this help?

[imaginingmanyfandoms]

Paul's Lullaby | part one

| next>

"Sam?" Paul was, he was in pain. He respect Sam and Emily's privacy, but he needed to talk to Sam now.

Paul wasn't angry, he was in pain. He felt like the world had opened up and swallowed him whole. He ruined his own life, and he didn't know where else to turn.

"Paul?" Sam asked, opening the door. Emily was behind him, face covered in concern.

"I imprinted tonight," Paul said, "but she hates me. She really, really hates me."

"I'm sure it's nothing you can't fix," Sam said, ushering Emily to come closer.

"Sam, I'm not exaggerating, she told me that she hates me. In fact, she should hate me." Paul looked at his feet, but only to try and hide the distress on his face. "If anyone treated her that way I used to, I'd rip them apart."

"Paul," Emily said, reaching out. Paul flinched back.

"I don't deserve your sympathy. I just, I don't know what to do."

"Be patient. Maybe you just have to prove you're a different man now," Emily offered a sad smile, but it was the exact thing Paul didn't want. He shouldn't pitied, he didn't deserve it. He could feel his heart bruise and falter. He broke his own heart and has no clue on how to fix it.

Emily had to go back to sleep, but Sam sat up with Paul for a while longer.

When Paul finally left, it was almost two in the morning. He took off running through the woods, shifting when he knew he was hidden by the tree line. He tried to outrun the heartbreak, but obviously it didn't work.

You were sitting at your desk, staring at your computer. You wanted to work on your writing, but you were so angry at the audacity that Paul had.

You had done everything you could to avoid him the last couple years - and you managed to make it to the first day of summer after graduation. You'd run into him on the beach.

He was just such a jerk, acting like his words had no effect on anyone. Like he could just laugh behind your back and it wouldn't hurt.

But he used to tell people nasty rumours about you. Until nobody really wanted you around them. And then he had to take it that much farther, when you were both fifteen, he took you on a date, acted like he'd changed and grown. And right before he kissed you he said, "I know you fall for it."

That date alone triggered years of trust issues. You'd felt alone ever since.

Back to the beach, he was blocking the trail you needed to head down to get to work on time. You'd hoped that putting your head down and just trying to slide passed would work, but he recognized you. He tried talking to you, but you ignored him.

After taking a couple steps down the path he said, "don't be like that."

This made you look up, astounded that he would even say something like that. Until you finally looked into his eyes, and you recognized how beautiful he was. He also looked stunned, like he'd run into a glass door. He reached out to you, but recoiled, dodging his touch like he was on fire. Somehow, you'd felt even lonelier than ever.

One look at his face and you felt like you were missing something. You tried to keep your cool but you just couldn't. Tears brimmed at your eyes, and his friend Jared Cameron coughed, before walking to the water just to give you two some space.

"Y/N," he said, his voice low and hesitant. Making you panic, thinking he was toying with you again.

"Stay away from me," you warned, taking a defensive step back.

That hit Paul harder in the heart than you would ever know. His soulmate, his imprint, recoiling away from him defensively. He found the person he was supposed to protect, to be needed by, and you couldn't stand the sight of him.

"Just wait a second," he begged, not moving towards you again. He didn't want to scare you.

"I hate you," you whispered, and then louder said it again. And louder again. Until you had screamed it, and the tears had taken over your cheeks. Every time you said it was an arrow to Paul's heart. He nodded, and let you turn around to run off without another word.

You didn't notice him run into the woods, followed by his friend.

You called work saying you had a personal emergency, and then went back home for the night.

Back in the present, you were tearing up at the memory of it. You were sick, you think. Addicted to red flag behaviour because there was no way you were thinking of Paul's hurt face, and feeling bad for causing it. He should feel bad for all the pain he caused.

You looked at the clock, it was almost three in the morning, but you were too caught up in all your feelings to send yourself to bed. You walked to the window, and noticed some kind of animal by the tree line. You lived in the middle of the woods, in an old cabin your grandma used to live in. You moved in when she got sick but never moved out. You liked it. It was cozy. It was private.

Finally relenting, you crawl into bed and did your best to sleep.

The next day, you were walking along the same path on the beach. You offered to cover the shift of the girl who had covered yours at such last minute.

Paul was in the same spot, but alone this time. You tried to walk passed him without acknowledging him, but something stopped you. You didn't want to see him sad again, it hurt you. And it made no sense why, you'd spent two years hating him.

You were only a few steps passed him, so you turned around, gripping the end of your sweater sleeves in each hand.

Paul had his head down, but looked up when he heard you sigh. You were standing in front of him, looking so terrified to speak to him. Paul could've started crying.

"I'm sorry about yelling at you like that yesterday," you said. "I should've just walked away so... sorry."

"Don't be sorry," he said, a flash of excitement crossed his eyes, and you mistook it for something sinister. You tried to remain calm, but you were feeling lightheaded. You just couldn't trust his motives. "I deserved it."

Now that, threw you for a bit of a loop.

Fool me once, you thought.

"I still think we should just keep our distance," you said. "You kind of broke my heart."

"I'm really sorry about that, I was trying to impress the seniors. I was a tool. An idiot."

"Finally we agree on something," you said. He looked at you, and you both let out a small smile. He pushed some sand with his foot. His bashfulness made you want to believe him. "I work just up the hill. You can walk me if you want."

"Can I walk you home when you're done?" he asked, quickly falling in perfect tandem with you.

"No," you said. "But you can walk with me right now."

"I'll take it," he said.

"Why do you want to talk to me anyway? I thought you hated me," you said.

"I could never hate you," he said. "I do hate how I treated you though. Not my finest hour."

"I think your finest hour remains to be seen."

Paul stayed quiet after that. And you were oddly comfortable in the silence. You're not even sure why you invited him to come along, but some sick part of you wanted him to. You wanted to reach out and touch him. His arms just looked so welcoming, and the way he stretched his hand open and shut made you think he wanted the same thing. But you couldn't let him in, not after one day.

"Have a good shift," he said, putting his hands in his pocket.

You smiled at him ,and thanked him for walking you. When you smiled, he smiled. And you caught onto that.

Paul had been standing in the same spot every day to walk you to work. Out of curiosity, on one of your days off, you snuck close to the spot to see if he was there. And he was, leaning against the same railing, in the same spot that he waited for you everyday.

You got comfortable in a cozy little spot in the trees. You wanted to see how long he waited for you. You dozed off before you could get your question answered.

You woke up hours later, when the sun was already setting. You hated walking through the trees in the dark. You started walking on your own, but you had a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach. So you swallowed your pride and called someone you knew would answer.

Paul was sitting at Sam and Emily's table, enjoying the dinner she made while waiting for his turn to go on patrol. It was Jared and Quil out there now. Paul could hear Seth snoring on the couch, making him laugh. Things that used to annoy him, didn't really seem to annoy him anymore. Not since you started letting him walk you to work. He even got Sam to let him change his patrol times to make sure he could be there every day.

His phone rang, and with a mouthful of food checked the number. He almost chocked on his food when he saw your number. He answered, hitting his chest to dislodge the food.

"Y/N, hi," he said, big grin on his face as he stood up and walked outside. Behind his back, Emily and Sam shared a knowing look, and he leaned in to kiss his wife.

Paul noticed Jared sitting nearby with Kim, and didn't think too much of it with you on the line.

"This may sound stupid," you said, "but can you walk me home? I don't like to go in the dark."

"You never let me walk you home," he said.

"If this is a bad time, it's okay," you said, disappointment clear in your voice.

"No, no... where are you? I'll be right there." He stepped back inside the house to grab his shoes, but the sound of you gasping stalled his movements.

"I'm by our meeting spot," you said. His grin returned when you called it that. "It's so dumb, I wanted to see if you went there when I didn't work and fell asleep."

"You were spying on me?" he asked. You were silent on the other end and he laughed. "I'll be right there."

"Who are you?" you asked.

"Huh?"

He heard you scream, as did Sam and Emily who's cheeky glances turned to concern quickly. "Y/N?" he asked, panicked. He was already running outside, Sam on his heals.

"Jared!" Sam shouted, "Why aren't you on patrol?"

"Seth said he'd do it!" Jared yelled back. Paul dropped his phone, and shifted, running top speeds to where you said you were.

Never in his whole life had he been this scared. He could hear Jared apologizing for the mixup in his thoughts, but Paul didn't really care what he had to say. If you were hurt, Paul would die. Paul would simply die.

He needed you to be there safe.

I knew something was wrong, Embry thought. Paul didn't even see him show up. Sorry I didn't act on it.

Shut the shit up and run, dammit!

When he got to the meeting point, you were gone, but your bag was abandoned nearby. Paul sniffed it, getting your current scent memorized. He took off when he found the trail. He also smelled a retched, filthy bloodsucker. It wasn't one of the Cullens. No, this was different. And it started at the water, that's how it got passed their lines. Not that they had enough people around.

Paul howled, the pain in it was evident for anyone around. It was him saying get here, or suffer the consequences.

I don't smell their blood, Jared thought.

You don't get to talk about them. This anger didn't derive from a bad temper, it was fear. It was just fear talking.

Paul kept running, catching a fork in the scent trails. One way was Quil, Leah and the bloodsucker. And the other was you, all alone. Alone but alive. If he couldn't hear Leah or Quil think, that was a good sign. Meant that they'd changed back, and Leah would never do that unless she killed them.

Go to her, we'll find Leah. Sam nodded at Paul.

You were crying as you ran, clumsy feet stumbling over tree roots and your own blurred vision totally betrayed you. Someone had come out of the water, eyes red like rubies. And they were so pretty that you just had to look at her. Until the showed her teeth, forcing you to flee in fear. She was faster than you, but you think she was playing with you.

And then if that wasn't scary enough, when she was jumping down from a tree to kill you, a wolf jumped from the shadows and grabbed the woman. And it was her turn to flee. Another wolf jumped out, and you were sure you were a goner.

But it just chased after the other two. Leaving you alone and confused.

You stumbled back to your feet, running as fast as you could towards your cabin. You would be safe in there. Maybe. It was the best you could do right now.

You cried harder when you thought you heard more rustling in the trees. You were at your door, struggling to get your keys out and unlock the door. When you did, you slammed it shut and locked it behind you. You dove over the sofa and kept your eyes on the door, as if that's all it took to keep you safe.

Your phone was lost somewhere in the woods, but you could still hear them. Out there. Maybe it wasn't real.

There was a feverish knocking on your door, and you couldn't peel yourself away from the couch.

"Y/N! Are you in there," Paul shouted. Oh my God, thank everything, it's Paul.

"Paul, I'm coming," you struggled, fighting through your tears to answer. It killed him, but he was so happy you were okay.

You opened the door, and cried even harder when you saw his face. You couldn't hate him now, now when he came running for you. He ignored his usual boundaries and pulled you in for a hug. He was so warm wrapped around you. Your arms were still tucked into your chest. And his totally encompassed you.

"Just breath, honey," he said, rubbing his hand up and down your back. You tried to take his advice, but you couldn't focus.

"You came for me."

"I always will, you can always call me. I will always come running," he said. And you believed him.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" you asked, pushing yourself away from him enough to look up at his face. His features were uncharacteristically soft as they looked down at you.

"Of course," he said. He kissed your forehead, and you felt the instinct of pushing him away - but you ignored it this time.

"On the couch," you said.

"Sure, honey." He brushed his hands up and down your biceps, helping you take a few deep breaths. "I'm not going anywhere, don't worry."

"I don't understand what happened," you said, pushing yourself away from him. "She came out of the water, and then she..."

"It's okay," he cooed, "you don't have to say anything."

"And this doesn't change anything," you said. "I trust you with some things but not other things."

"Some things?" he asked, more amused than anything.

"I trust you with my life, not my heart."

"We'll work on it," he said, pulling you in close for another hug.

"Yeah," you agreed. "We'll work on it."

[requested] [part 2?]

I kind of love this?

[noodlepai]

(OKAY okay so I've come to provide more information on the AU, I'm still working on it a lot so things might change or be added but I got a basic idea of what things are like rn !!)

Info dump moment rn, also TW for slight trauma mentions/hints

• Sam had managed to save the Wii from melting itself all those years ago, and is a pretty big person on tech, so she likes to experiment and try new things, and actively tries to help Eteled out or transfer him through devices so he isn't just stuck in one place all the time, with lots of trial and tons of error, especially since she knows the Wii's getting old and that it can be unstable occasionally with glitches

• Kyle has also taken a liking to learning more about technology through Sam's influence so he sometimes comes over and they both will just study and brainstorm ideas

• Sam moved out of her home and now lives in her own apartment, is in college to pursue her dream of working around and creating technology, hasn't really considered making a job out of it since she mostly does it for fun and likes to achieve her dream goals, Nathan and Kyle also occasionally visit to just hang out and do whatever, usually resulting in the three staying up very late into a movie or game night, and Eteled having to talk Sam into getting sleep for the next morning

• Even though Sam is big on all tech, consoles and video games, she still has a soft spot for old generation consoles in particular

• Sam, Nathan and Kyle had all gotten pretty close growing up so they're like a dumbass trio /lh

• Will moved out of state or some shit

• Kyle wakes up from his villain arc and makes a truce with Eteled /J.. FR though Kyle softens up and becomes more understanding of Eteled's side after they start talking it out, while what happened did bother him at the time all those years ago, he just kinda grew up to the point where it didn't have such of an effect on him anymore, I mean all he saw was a Mii get slice and diced, no need to go beast mode over it, so they forgive each other of the past

• Kyle and Nathan are besties to homosexuals, homie love

• Sam made a Mii of herself from when she was younger to keep Eteled company when going out or having to attend school, Eteled appreciated it but wouldn't wanna admit how it wasn't the same and about how much he would miss Sam when she had to get off the Wii

• Gives Eteled abandonment issues because I love being evil

• He's actually clingy on the inside but would never admit it to anyone

• Also views Sam as a sort of daughter figure besides just a friend but is too nervous to mention it, he wants Sam to be safe, loves whenever she talks or rants to him about anything or shows him something she made or is proud of, or even just anything at all, father Eteled is proud of his child/bestie

• He like, genuinely feels loved around her and would definitely cry about it but would never show it, or at least try not to

• Eteled has the favorite Mii pants because Sam put them on him, with quote "I think it's about time my best friend gets to rock a new style", and yes it did make him almost cry on the spot

• Austin is like, mentally conflicted as hell

• Austin and Eteled both feel guilty for what they've done to each other over the years, aren't sure they can or are ready to forgive the other but they're very slowly learning to tolerate each other

• They're like enemies to kinda friends in a way

• They're traumatized mfs

• They still sometimes fight but it's usually just yelling or saying shit now, they don't do the chair, deletion or axe really anymore since they at least got to the point where they respect each other's boundaries and triggers, and there's no point to keep doing the same old for over 10+ years, for the most part, they still slip up sometimes

• They do fuck up though occasionally so that's why Eteled has scars and Austin is a bit more bashed up

• They still have a rooted dislike for each other they're trying to get over but they sometimes chill out or talk, usually when Sam is asleep or off the Wii for a while, the two just will maybe visit or sit around to at least try to understand the other better

• Sam knows Austin is still around, and it took a while but with time she grew to accept him when he didn't seem like a big threat anymore, and that he was just as important of a soul as Eteled was, she still didn't like the fights and didn't know the full story

• She'd probably section them away from the other with a child gate if she could

• Austin of course has an ego and would never tell another soul that he has many nightmares of the server room and about what happens if he gets caught off guard or is sleeping when Eteled decides to attack him again, Eteled wouldn't do that, and Austin knows it but it's just the deep rooted fear he can't get rid of, even though he's much taller and technically more powerful than the smaller Mii

• Eteled is just tired, usually just sleeps in the Mii channel, especially when under stress or tires himself out if he's going through a moment, like triggered memories or emotions

• From all the deleting and the chair, and more crap from his early life, Eteled is just terrified of it all so even the idea of them scares the fuck out of him, so as a natural response he just tries to defend himself with his axe even if he would be shaking like a chicken, he really tries not to pull it out but he can't always stop himself

• The axe itself would probably also bother Austin a bit, but he would still try to cautiously calm Eteled down since he knows he's just afraid, so afterwards they'd probably have to awkwardly apologize for what the fuck happened at that very moment

• Sam sometimes offers them both to play a game together with her, or plans on playing with Eteled and invites Austin along, as a way to make them bond, they do end up having some fun though

• Eteled has seen and/or been around or within newer Nintendo consoles, but personally prefers being in the Wii since he's used to it the most, and it's the most comfortable and homey to him

• Oh yeah, if Austin or Eteled is having an episode or is deeply upset then the other will try to help sometimes if it's really bad, Austin tries to hide it more but it doesn't always work, yeah they have reasonable reasons to not like the other, but they aren't complete assholes

• They both got trauma memories and aren't gonna just watch the other suffer through it

• Austin may or may not have taken in what Eteled had said all that time ago about "Learning to move past the past", even though that technically makes Eteled a hypocrite when he's constantly beating himself up about shit mentally, even after years, they are both doing it tbh

• Also Kyle doesn't know about Austin 100% but is curious to know his story and who he is and used to be, and how he got in the Wii, especially after the passing of his family member of the same name, little does he know..

• Sam also doesn't know about any of it, neither Sam or Kyle know of what happened or Austin's story, Austin being in a tight spot since he doesn't wanna reveal his identity yet, knowing the possible reaction, for Eteled's sake, Sam's and especially Kyle's, and Eteled being absolutely fucking terrified since the fear of losing someone like Sam could become real, and the small but growing friendship he was slowly making with Kyle could go right back to hatred and wanting the small Mii deleted, not including the fact that he still eats at himself for his past actions so it being brought back up again would be a ✨mess✨

• Austin doesn't know if he forgives Eteled or not, but wants to try to move past it and not be reminded in any way

• Nathan is still a little lowkey scared of Eteled ngl, doesn't wanna upset him or anything and Eteled can tell, he probably sighs to himself but he can't blame the guy

• Kyle has thought about making another Mii of himself on what is now long been Sam's Wii, now that he's older and him and Eteled are rather chill, but decided against it since he wasn't sure, not because he didn't trust Eteled, but because he figured it could potentially remind the Mii of the past, so whenever he plays on it he just uses Eteled

(That's all I can really recall on the top of my head for now, whenever I remember more or add on things I'll probably make a new post about it)

[ichigoromi]

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 | 𝐒𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐬𝐚 𝐊𝐢𝐲𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐢 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧| 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐮 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧 | 𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆

Alright, just want to put out there that I do NOT SUPPORT cheating. I'm going to write one where I might just lash out at OMI. Hmm, I don't like cheating for personal reasons, but I just don't think it's right.

So, for my previous post, I want to clarify that he did not full-on kiss the close friend but maybe like a lip to lip touch only; that was what I was going for initially.

Now, I want to write something that really hurts because I'm just reminded of something.

But, this post might be triggering and sad.

Warning (s): mentions of cheating, strong language, hospitals and breakups.

a/n: omg i didn't know i was going to write this long. just's a heads up, i used the she/her pronouns!

Enjoy...

Sakusa Kiyoomi

You felt like your relationship with Sakusa was slowly breaking down.

It was becoming toxic for you and him; it was not working out like last time.

When you guys fought in the past, you two would make up the next day, but these days, he stays out and comes back once every few days.

You tried calling him and even staying up to wait for him, but he never came home.

All the stress from your work and your relationship problems were becoming troubling for your body.

Still, you want to make this relationship work. You have been together with Sakusa for five years, almost half of your youth.

You two have been with each other through ups and downs; you guys can work this out.

Or so you thought.

It has been weeks that you tried to meet him and call him to have dinner together so that you two can have a proper conversation and makeup.

He never replies to your texts or calls.

When you are out at work, he only returned to the apartment to collect a change of clothes and belongings.

You noticed that his stuff was slowly getting removed, and you dread the worst.

Hell, you really wanted to confront him and ask him for the truth.

How did you two end up in this state?

You confide in your best friend that you consider as your sister from another womb. Since you only have brothers.

Your boss was being extra generous and gave you half a day off, considering that you have been overworking and decided to make his favourite dinner.

You bought tons of food so that you two can bond again and work the problems out.

It was a good day, and you were feeling hopeful.

Oh, hell no.

You felt your stomach dropped as you noticed the familiar pair of heels and that customised sneakers.

You heard giggles and moans.

There he was, half-naked and full-on making out with your best friend that you consider as your sister.

She hurriedly stops Sakusa when she noticed you.

Your knuckles were turning white from your grip.

"So this was why you have been avoiding me? I see two of my best friends hooking up. Ah, you must be glad that I was a fool so that you two can fool behind my back, huh?" You let out a bitter laugh and took a deep breath.

"How long has this been going on?" You asked the two of them.

"Six months."

They have been seeing each other for six months, and you spend all your tears on these two people you trust the most. They were your world.

"Was it fun? Hmm, Hanari? Tell me? How was it fucking your best friend's boyfriend knowing all of our relationship problems? Six months...I can't believe it. I must look like a fool where I pour my heart and tears to you about my relationship, and you two were fucking behind my back." Your eyes have gone completely dull, and the tears were threatening to spill.

"Kiyoomi, I was the one trying to work things out and trying to make this relationship work. What about you? I know that you are tired from your practice, and you could not even bother trying in this relationship?

How about me, huh? I am exhausted from taking care of patients and trying to please you. Was this relationship all about you?

Hanari, I know you like him since high school but just didn't have the balls to confess before I did. I felt bad, but now, I don't. But, as my best friend, how could you?

I am over this. Enjoy my sloppy seconds, Hanari. I hope you two are happy. Thank you, you assholes."

You flipped them off and turn your back on them. Before you even reach the door, you felt a sharp pain on your right cheek and taste blood in your mouth.

"Well, I guess you can't even handle words that you need to resort to physical violence." You threw her a nasty glare and walks out of that apartment and both of their lives.

Once you reach your car, you collapse on the car seat in excruciating pain.

It started when you confront them, and you felt the sharp pain in the lower right side of your abdomen. You could not raise your voice at them as it worsens the pain.

Your hand trembles as you reach for your phone to call someone to come and get you as you can't drive due to the pain.

"Oh, why are ya callin' me? Did ya miss me?"

"Tsumu, can you come to the parking lot in my apartment building? It's urgent." You requested, trying to pace your breathing.

"What's wrong? Are ya okay? Hey, I'm comin', hang in there."

You ended the call and laid back on the seat. It hurts so much that you feel like fainting.

Though it was only a ten-minute wait, it felt like ages for you.

"Oh lord, I'm glad I pull Samu along. Can ya walk?" He asked you, and you shook your head. He tries his best to make a minimal movement, but he sees you grimace at every small movement he makes.

Osamu got behind the wheel, and Atsumu cradle you close to his chest.

You whimpered in pain and clutch on to his sweatshirt tightly.

"Where's Omi? Didn't he went home earlier to get ya?" You shook your head, tears slowly trickling down your cheeks.

He knew something was wrong but decided to not probe you anymore.

You were immediately wheeled in, and Atsumu were left to handle your paperwork. Osamu sighed and started contacting his girlfriend that he might not return back today.

Hearing that you were hospitalised, she told Osamu that she would be driving up there.

Atsumu tries not to show his nervousness, but as his twin, Osamu clearly knows that he is distraught for you. Your boyfriend was supposed to be here, taking Atsumu place, but instead, he was nowhere to be found.

You were in so much pain that you could not even drive and had to ask Atsumu, who is an amateur driver.

"Doctor y/l/n requires immediate operation since she has a ruptured appendix. May I know who is her next of kin?" The assistant doctor asked and Atsumu followed after him to wrap up the paperwork for you.

Atsumu watches you slowly breathe in and out in a constant manner and gently brushes your hair away from your pale face.

He called and informed Sakusa about your hospitalisation, but his teammate just told him that he was just exaggerating and you were just down with the flu.

You were still in a deep sleep from the anaesthesia.

"Hey, how is she?" Mira, Osamu's girlfriend, asked Atsumu.

"She just came out from surgery about three hours ago. So, she's still asleep. Her brothers are coming tomorrow." Mira lets out a sigh and gently holds your hand.

She heard about Sakusa from Osamu and almost wanted to storm to his apartment and drag his ass here.

"I think the two of them broke up. She called me and asked me to pick her up, and she was hunched over in pain. Sakusa left practice early saying that he was going to pick her up, but it was a lie."

Mira lightly pats your hand and heads out of the private ward.

After Mira left, you squinted your eyes and grimaced at the faint pain on your right side.

"Oh, thank the lord you're awake! Do you know how worried I was? What happened between you and Omi?"

"We broke up. He cheated. I'll be fine." Even though you say that you would be fine, you can't help but feel the hot tears spill.

Atsumu pulls you to his chest and pats your back gently.

"Hey, I'll be here for ya. Don't ya worry, 'kay? Don't waste yer precious tears on someone who doesn't deserve it. Take care of yourself, 'kay?" He gently wipes the tears away from your cheeks and places a light kiss on your forehead and heads out of your ward for you to rest.

It's all going to be okay, you still have other people that care for you.

He never came to the hospital to check on you after you collapse in the parking lot. In fact, he released an announcement about the breakup.

Your brothers held back a lot when they went to pick up your belongings.

Atsumu offered for you to temporarily to stay at his place until you find a place for yourself.

You knew that Atsumu has been by your side this whole time and his feelings for you, but you just need to confirm it.

"Hey, ready to go?" He arrived just in time.

"Tsumu, I want to ask you something and you have to be honest with me." You pats the empty space beside you. He sat down beside you and you took his hand and held in your small hands.

"Do you have feelings for me?"

He froze and blinked at you.

"I know. Since a long time ago." His face fell and he braced for the rejection that was going to happen soon.

"Loosen up. I'm not ready for a relationship yet but if you can wait, I'm taking that confession."

Atsumu's expression lights up and he threw his arms around you, careful to avoid your stitches area.

"I'll wait! No matter how long it is, I'll wait for you!"

Alright, I hope this does not change your mind about Omi. ITS ALL AN IMAGINATION. I love Omi with all my heart but I had to break to y'all the harsh reality. Being cheated is never pretty and with the right support system, everything will all work out fine.

This has been the alternative ending that I would have written for my previous post.

Thank you for reading.

Stay safe and healthy!

With love,

Rosalie🍓

[angsty-nerd]

Meta: Echo’s Big Fight in 3x09

Let's talk about the Big Echo fight. Because wandering around in the fandom this past week, I’ve seen a lot of very specific conclusions as far as what they were or weren't arguing about, and I’m not sure my take on that scene really aligns with other folks. So let me try to break it down a bit and give y’all an alternative perspective on it.

To start with, the scene opens with Max on edge because they're breaking and entering. Liz is singularly focused on the mission, and he's kinda freaking out. Instead of responding to his concerns, Liz gets straight to business.

"Ooh, ooh, this is interesting. Heath left Genoryx two days after I did. Must have realized he didn't need to be working underneath their corporate thumb."

Liz is kinda projecting here. Heath never once displayed any discomfort with Genoryx as a company the way that she did. He wanted her to stay. He wanted the resources there. We know these things as an audience, and Liz would too if she was thinking through the big picture at this point in time.

Max, on the other hand, doesn't know any of that. Here's what Max hears from Liz: he hears surprise. He hears Liz acknowledge that this is unexpected news. And right as he’s processing this unexpected reveal...Max sees Heath's Wild Pony t-shirt.

Weird coincidence #1 from Max's POV was Heath (the guy who is currently so pissed at Liz that he won't take her calls) supposedly rescuing Liz's science out of the good of his heart so that Genoryx doesn’t get their hands on it? This doesn't add up.

Weird coincidence #2 was Heath quitting Genoryx - a decision Heath made that Liz wasn't expecting.

The Wild Pony t-shirt is now the 3rd thing that doesn't add up. And if the t-shirt clue isn't adding up for you, see my post about it here:

The T-shirt is strike 3 for Max. He can't really pretend that he's not suspicious of Heath anymore. So he broaches the subject with her.

"How much do you know about this guy, Heath? How close were you?"

Max is feeling uncomfortable and looking for more information. He's trying to make the clue make sense. Why would Heath have the T-shirt? Does he have a connection to Roswell that Liz doesn't know about? And Liz doesn’t listen.

"This isn't the time to be jealous about a boy I met."

For all that Liz is clinical and on mission, she jumps very quickly to assuming that Max is NOT on mission. Yes, Max is inherently more emotional than she is. But throughout the episode he's been asking questions about Heath and NOT JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS. That's one of the keys to me here. Max really is trying to give her the benefit of the doubt about him.

At Liz's house, he asked about "the boyfriend" but he wasn't doing it in a jealous or judgy way. If anything it could almost be interpreted as concern. He started with "were you happy" and only when Liz kind of metaphorically admitted that any happiness was a façade...that's when he brought Heath into it. And yeah, Liz says that he impacted her life and helped her grow, but she didn't exactly express romantic feelings that would make Max jealous. So when she basically jumped straight to the jealousy assumption instead of actually discussing this with him, he starts getting worked up. Because she is not hearing him. She is not acknowledging that the facts they have found during this investigation are not adding up. So he is honest and blunt about what he's thinking.

"I'm just saying it's possible that he took your one-of-a-kind alien spores and quit, so that, just like you, he could use the research himself, free of Genoryx."

Max is the one who brings the science into this conversation. Not Liz. And he's not criticizing or questioning HER application of the science. He's questioning the trustworthiness of Heath. Because the lies are starting to jump out at him like a friggin’ neon light.

BUT — now that he's specifically brought up the science, he has her attention. Because Max questioning her science is HER sore spot. So what does she say back to him? Something kinda judgy.

"That grand trust speech certainly had a short shelf life."

Side note: I really don't think there actually was a "grand trust speech" in this episode. I can think of a few scenes where there might have been an opportunity for one. In particular during the milkshake scene when he admits to saving her tapes. But they actually don't talk about trust in that scene. They talk about having hard conversations. They talk about moving forward instead of looking backwards. But they don't talk about trust. My guess is that there might have been content cut for time at some point in this episode, that may have included some grand declaration from Max, but that's really just speculation on my part.

Regardless…Liz's response to Max bringing up the science is to basically accuse him of not trusting her. Which is not what he was saying. He was not questioning her use of the science. He was questioning her trust in Heath through the context of her science. So he elaborates on what he IS saying, and as he does, he's getting more and more worked up...because this does relate directly to his personal fears, and, frankly, his buried trauma that he's never properly addressed.

"I trust you. Okay? But I don't trust some guy I have barely met with a secret that could endanger me, could endanger my family and break the frickin' Internet if it came out."

Max doesn't know Heath, and he doesn't trust Heath with a secret that could endanger Michael and Isobel. His emotions are escalating, because now he's thinking about the science that scares him in the hands of a guy that all signs points to being potentially untrustworthy, and he's triggered.

BUT he doesn't back up his argument. He doesn't point out the very specific evidence he's identified that Heath is probably lying to Liz.

And Liz is inherently reactive and sometimes overly defensive (see 1x09 list of Liz's flaws). So even though he's focused on Heath, she immediately reacts defensively and takes it as a criticism of HER.

"You think I would let myself be conned?"

"No, I think you came out here looking for a partner, and it could blind you."

*deep breath* and this is where it starts to get personal. And rough. Max isn't entirely wrong here. But he also kind of is. Liz didn't choose Genoryx for partnership. She was looking for resources, freedom to do the science she wanted to do, and to save her father from deportation.

But partnership? Yeah, Liz wanted that. But she wanted that from MAX. She was looking for partnership in life, not in science.

And now that Max has thrown that direct criticism out there, Liz is going to throw a bomb right back at him.

"Just because you sabotaged me when I thought you were mine does not mean that Heath would take the same path."

Ouch. This is the hardest line in this whole scene for me to work with. Because it is combative. And purposefully hurtful.

BUT…she is NOT TALKING ABOUT HER SCIENCE. She has not said a single word about her science in this argument. She moved past that. She had the epiphany that she was wrong and she apologized (3x03). That is in the past for her.

This argument, for Liz, is about betrayal. This is about her believing that they were going to be partners and move their lives forward together (2x12), and right when she believed in that future, Max made another massive decision that directly impacted her life (just like he did in 1x13) instead of working with her to make big decisions together.

"And just because you changed the wallpaper doesn't mean you've mended your blind spots."

I really hate this "change the wallpaper" line. It feels like they're mixing metaphors. Liz called her life a commercial. Max is saying that she's changed her decor. Like...pick one and stick with it.

That aside… I think this barb is about her arrogance. Earlier in the scene, she seemed baffled at the idea that Max believes she could have been conned by Heath, because Liz is used to always being the smartest person in the room. She thought she was smarter than Diego and he figured her out. She believed her lab was secure, but Diego (possibly) got in. Sometimes, like most scientists, Liz is so bogged down in the complicated, brilliant details she’s thinking through, that she misses simple things that contribute to the big picture. And I think that's what Max is getting at here. In her arrogance, she believes that she can control the Heath situation. But she's not acknowledging the human factor here - that Heath is a person who may have his own unspoken ulterior motives driving him. Just like Diego did. She's just not seeing what Max is seeing.

BUT - again I'll say. Max is also not communicating the scope of the evidence he is collecting. They're both wrong here.

"I have learned my lessons, but you... oh, my God, you sound an awful lot like the guy who blew up my lab. So forgive me, but you're making it perfectly clear why I felt like I had to go and change the wallpaper."

This is the only line where Liz even comes close to talking about her science, but again, she's talking about his betrayal. She's talking about him undermining their partnership. She's talking about her need for a change of scenery from HIM.

And that’s when Max blows out the safe and they put the fight on hold to finish their investigation.

But, to sum it up…the fight was all about trust and betrayal. It was necessary for them to work through it, though frankly? I wish they could have finished the discussion. Because instead of them coming to some sort of peace with their trust in each other, the truth came out about Heath, Liz realized that she was wrong, she apologized, and they moved forward together, on mission.

I can’t help pointing out though…after the fight and Liz's epiphany about Heath, Max and Liz spent at least 15 hours in a car together. And I'm sorry, I refuse to believe that they didn't talk about anything important for 15 hours. Fic writers assemble? 😆

Many thanks to @ober-affen-geil for doing a quick review and checking me on opinions vs facts. Very important.

And for my next trick… road trips, life choices, and Robert Frost! Coming soon to a Tumblr near you…

[meenah-chan]

Solace

A Belphegor x GN! MC fanfic

3.14k words

Genre: Angst

Trigger warning: mention of death. Read at your own discretion.

Requested by: @belphiesimpalways thank you for patiently waiting for this. Supposedly, this is for your birthday but still, belated Happy Birthday to you!! This became a little bit too long, and I actually changed the whole thing twice 😅😅 I changed the title too to prevent confusion, hope you don't mind.

He lost it the day he lost his beloved sister. A place to call his home. Yet he met them. The one who brings light to his dark days. But what shall he do, when this solace was never been his?

“How I wished I didn’t met you at all.”

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

He can hear the harrowing sound of the clock, ringing inside the closed space. As if it were imitating his increasing pulse. Belphegor couldn’t open his eyes. He won’t though, even if he can. He fears he’ll see it again. The agonizing sight of that cursed attic, where he is trapped, cold and lonely. Each click, each clack drives him on a brink of madness.

Somebody please make it stop..! Curled up in his bed, writhing in anguish, Belphegor tried to block the sound with his trembling hands.

Let me out… I hate this place...

“It is for your own good.” Lucifer’s voice reverberates throughout the whole room. His guide light and the hero of his stories… once upon a time, that is.

For my own good? This place was a nightmare! He was imprisoned! He was trapped inside his head, with nothing but bleak thoughts!

He felt cold, with no one to hold onto. With no Beelzebub or Lilith, ready to embrace him when he’s afraid…

Ahhh…

Right…

Even if he managed to escape that place, there’ll be no more Lilith to hold him. To comfort him. To make him laugh of joy and happiness. No more… Lilith is no more…

“...Belphegor?” he snapped his eyes open and suck in a deep breath, as if the voice pulled him out of the deepest pit of the abyss. His heart was beating fast, bathed in his own sweat.

It was just another dream. He was not trapped in the attic any more. He was freed, by the person with him right now, sitting beside his bed, a few weeks ago. “Are you alright? You’re sweating buckets and squirming in your sleep.”

“I’m fine. It was just pretty hot in here.”

They stared at him for a moment before replying. “...If you say so… Wait, let me get you some water and a change of clothes.” unconsciously he raised his hand, fingers tugging on the hen of their shirt which stopped them from their tracks.

“Don’t need one… Just stay here and be my pillow.” Still, feeling a bit anxious of being alone, he didn't let go.

“That won’t do. You’re so drenched. If you don't change clothes and rehydrate, you might get sick. I'll be back in a jiffy.” Yet as they swiftly pried his hand off their clothes, he couldn't do anything but to watch them stride out of the room.

He sighed, recollecting the series of events from the time he met them. “...What a weird person...” He muttered under his breath.

A few weeks ago… Just a few weeks ago, they succeeded in freeing him... Just a few weeks ago, they died by his hands... Yet, they kept on approaching him like nothing had happened.

But oddly enough, he also couldn't get them off his mind; to want them by his side. The only time he could find his peace of mind is when he's with them.

I guess I'm weird too...

Silently, he observed them. The way they speak and walk. The way they would scold him when he chose to nap over catching up his missed lessons. The way they tap and hum unconsciously, while studying with him to encourage him to do so. Those awkward laughs they made as they tried to mend the rift between him and his brothers. The sighs left their lips as his brothers fought over who would have them. The slow and silent steps they make to slip away. The way they wink and place a finger over their lips and pull him with them.

Especially the way their eyes disappear when they're smiling. He can never describe how soothing it was, that smile.

...until he suddenly felt it wasn't.

The way they make the very same smile to Lucifer, Belphegor couldn't help but feel a little bit too irritated. Yes, it was Lucifer. He’s naturally annoyed by him, after what he's done. But this is a little bit different from his usual displeasure.

The youngest just wanted to pry the human off him and drag them away. He knew he couldn't suppress the burning sensation rising from the pit of his stomach. He also knew he'll regret what he wanted to do. He'd look possessive. Delusional. He may even hurt them in the process. So, he chose to escape the scene instead, into the attic which was once his prison.

“Belphegor! I got... and you're asleep.” the demon dares not open his eyes as he hears them make their way to him. “You didn't even remove your uniform...or your shoes. I'm really amazed how you can fall asleep in a matter of seconds.” They carefully remove the shoes and socks from his soles.

Oh no... That's not a good thing. For every touch of their skin sends tingles throughout his entire body. Each cell screaming in a way he never felt before. The bed shook as they crawled in, reaching for the buttons of his vest. He was at his wit's end, completely conscious of the human's presence.

Before they could ever reach for the last row of buttons, his hand stopped them before he lose it.

“What do you think you're doing?”

“Y-You're awake?!” Before they could ever pull back, he tugged them in his chest, flustering the human even more.

“H-Hey, let go. Your uniform will get wrinkled.” They tried squirming out to no avail. The demon is just too strong to make him budge.

“Don't want to.” To hide his warm and probably beet red face, he clasped their nape and keep their face over his shoulder.

“I still haven't changed out of mine.”

“Hmm, goodnight...”

“Hey...” after a few more stirring in vain, they just sighed and let the youngest have it his way.

This is bad. Thought Belphegor. The annoyance he felt a while ago dissipates as fast as it builds up inside of him. Still, his heartbeats and head were in utter chaos, the time he held them so close. He said he’s returning to slumber, yet his heart showed no signs of ever slowing down. He bet they could hear it, but he have no more energy to even mind it. After all, amidst the chaos in him, could also feel he won’t be getting any nightmares right now.

“Say Belphegor. Do you have a fever? You’re hot and your heart’s beating a bit too fast.”

“Just tired from the extra work a while ago. I just need some rest.”

“If you say so...”

He could no longer deny this feeling inside him.

He… fell in love with a human. He found it, the peace to his raging storm. The salve to his wounds. But they can never be his solace.

He lost it the day he lost his beloved sister. He lost his home. His freedom. He doesn’t have anything but his disgusting self, who could only obsess over keenly observing each and every move they make. Like a stalker. Like a creep. Like a predator eyeing its prey.

But they were never been his. And the day they learnt of his habit is the day they will be disgusted by him.

“Lucifer!” and the fact that they were attached to his eldest brother— the one who robbed him of his freedom once— didn’t help.

They would link arms around his. Heck, even snuggled to it as they do so, with that widest smile upon their face. The small giggles they give off as the abomination in the form of his brother praised them while petting them. Oh, how he wanted to just cut off that hand straying onto them! How dare he touch–

…them that might have already belonged to him, long before he could enter the picture…?

No. There's just no way that heartless brother of his to fall for a mere human. That brother who bowed down to a demon the day his sister died. And the human who taught him how to love again, to fall for Lucifer. That’s just… impossible… It’s just too cruel…

But I love them too! I can love them more than that fiend who chose a demon over his family!

“No, you’re much crueler…” He could hear the whispers at the back of his mind. “Have you forgotten what you did? You killed them. Do you think you have any rights to even lay a finger on them? You spiteful, wretched, monster…”

…Right… He has no rights to have them… He lost it before he could realize the weight of his actions… It was the painful truth. A punishment for a sinner like him. He could regret it until his last breath but he could never be forgiven.

He doesn't deserve to have a place in their heart. Never. Never…

The door to the twins’ room creaked open and he knew exactly whose footsteps it was without the need to look. “Belphegor, Lucifer gave me some sushi. You like this, right? Let’s eat it while it’s fresh.”

Lucifer again, huh...

“It’s yours. Eat it yourself.” There’s no more point in fighting a lost battle.

Let it grow, “Ehh? But you like—”

“Let’s stop this.” … or let it go.

“…Huh? Stop what?”

He also fears what he might do in the future due to this rotten affection of his. “Just as I thought, I couldn’t stand humans. You’re so naïve and trusting. I’m already fed up with dealing with your antics.”

“Wait, I don’t understand…” They asked, confusion and unease were all over their face.

“You don’t? Then let me explain in a way you’ll understand in that small, gullible brain of yours.” He took a deep breath. He needs to keep his cool or he will definitely break in front of them, “Everything is all an act. You thought I like being with you? Think again, fool. Having a human around me fills me with nothing but wrath and anger! Who do you cause my nightmares!? Your race disgusts me to death! Just looking at you makes me want to puke!”

“B-Belphegor… please tell me you’re kidding.”

“Kidding? Do I look like I’m joking?” he scoffed, holding back the pain clawing in his chest. “Be thankful for my brothers. If not because of them, you won’t be alive the second time, nor your ignorant race are.

“I won’t touch a hide of you or any human. So please, stop bothering me anymore.” being unable to stifle the emotions on the verge of bursting, he turned his back on the devastated human.

This is for the best. He’s back in his cage. Staring at the lacework of the long-lived spiders on the ceiling. He already witnessed its threads wear and replace countless of times. That might not even be the same spider he saw on his first night there. He could care less. After all, the only time he was truly curious of a being is when he met them.

How he wished the thread of his feelings were as flimsy as the spider’s. That way it’ll fall off over time. It can simply be cut off when it comes on his way.

“How I wished I didn’t meet you at all.” He knows it well. He is a big liar. In some way or another, just like the firstborn. But they deserve him more than his wretched self.

Lucifer, he was the morning star. The fact that both heaven and hell were captivated by his beauty and excellence. But Belphegor… he was nothing but a bleak abyss. He once dreamt of his brother’s greatness. Yet he couldn't be anything. He, miserable and empty, who only had nothing but guilt, regrets and a broken heart— as he watched them weep.

It’s been weeks since then. They never approached him like he said. Neither in the dining table nor classroom do they discern his presence. It was painful, but he can take it. The only unbearable one he felt is catching them cry— in Lucifer’s arms.

How long are they going to cry? Is it still because of him? No… This is for the best...

This is his atonement. His fate. He still couldn’t have anything, yet he already lost everything. His—

Lucifer… He is staring at him straight in the eye. I should leave.

But Belphegor couldn’t leave. Not after the eldest gave him that sly smirk. What does that mea…

Lucifer didn’t give him time to think. “Wha, Lucifer…?” Sound of confusion left their mouth as Lucifer grabbed their chin firmly between his index and thumb, with the menacing look on his face. “What are you—!”

And the gap between their faces disappeared. “Hmph!” The sight of the futile struggle of his beloved in the hands of the man he entrusted them to… made the youngest snap.

“LUCIFER!!!” His horns and tail materializing, he lunged towards him. His clenched fist flying in the air, aiming for his jaw. Yet, as if expecting it, Lucifer evade him, loosening his grip on the stunned human in the process. Belphegor saw this as a chance to pry them away from his brother’s hands, before jumping a few meters away from him.

“When are you going to learn to clean after your own mess, Belphegor?” As if the devious smirk were never been present on his face, Lucifer looked at them with his usual expression.

“What the hell?! You’re the one who assaulted them!!” He snarled like a wild animal, holding his treasure protectively from the threat.

“I didn’t do anything. Ask them yourself.”

“Ask? Do you think I’m blind?!” His stance became stiffer, fangs sheathed and glaring sharply at his brother, who is unfazed.

A light tug on his collar made his eyes soften, and caused him to realize his tight grip on them in which he loosen. “Are you hurt?”

“N-No… Lucifer’s saying the truth… He didn’t kiss me. I was just a bit confused he pressed his thumb over my lips.”

“.... What? Okay, but still—!”

“Do you think I’m a fool, Belphegor?” Lucifer cut him off, “I know what you’re planning. I'm already your brother for thousands of years.”

“...”

“Do you now understand the consequence of your foolish action? You left someone important to you in the care of others. But you didn’t think that sort of thing might actually happen?”

“But it’s you who they love!”

Lucifer’s frown deepens, “Even if it were some lesser demon they’re in love with, I bet you'll leave them in their care.”

“I...” He… Lucifer’s right… No one's more dangerous for them than himself.

Belphegor's horns and tail disappeared as he calms down, processing what his brother is saying.

“Everyone’s dangerous in Devildom, you fool. If you really are sorry for what you did, protect them instead.”

“Protect? But… But I...” Ignoring him, the eldest glanced at the person between the youngest’s arms.

“Do you already get what I’m saying Y/N?” They nod. “Not only are you both foolish and stubborn, but also blind. Now fix this yourselves. I’m done with your drama.” pinching the bridge of his nose, Lucifer left them in that awkward position without another word.

“...I’m really sorry. I was afraid to hurt you more than I already did.” After a moment of silence, Belphegor decided to break it first.

“You already did, you idiot.” Wiping the stray tears on their puffy eyes, Belphegor gave them a sad smile. “I guess I did.”

“But I still don’t think this is alright. Shouldn’t you be a bit more wary around me? I mean you already… died in my hands once.”

“You brat. Do you think I’d cry like that if I we’re okay with not being with you? I've never held a grudge against you in the first place.” They pout.

“Why? How can you forgive me that easily?” The demon frowns at them.

“Well, wouldn't life be more wonderful if we know how to forgive and forget?”

Frustrations were evident in his eyes, Belphegor's frown deepens. “That's not right… I killed you mercile—”

“Then shouldn't I be asking you? Why can't you forgive yourself?” He didn’t answer. Mistakes have already piled up as is.

Forgive himself? Why? Does he hate himself?

...Yes... I probably do... He loathed himself. terribly so... But they, who tasted the his abhorrence. He couldn't understand how they didn't.

“You want you to find happiness.” They cupped his disgruntled face in their palms, foreheads touching as they gave him comfort.

“I can’t.” with glassy eyes, he held a hand on his cheeks, “Not when you are my happiness. Not when you liked my brother.”

“You really are blind. And here I thought I was just assuming things.” their giggles were like music to his ears. Their orbs were like the placid sky set upon him. “You really are blind. And here I thought I was just assuming things.”

“I love you, idiot.” And their words, with no hint of doubt or hesitation, hit him like a surge. It made his feelings overflow, coursing throughout his entire body, and finally spilling on every corner of his eyes. It made him unable to speak. “I’m not even hoping for you to feel the same. I just wished to stay by your side… and for you to cherish yourself like how I’ve been to you.”

Belphegor felt so happy beyond words. Such indescribable feelings swirling inside him, one that he can’t put into words. With so much running inside his head, the only line he could form is… “Thank you.”

Weeping, but from so much joy this time, they huddled in each other's grasp, not caring of their setting, until their hearts finally felt whole again.

And after such a blissful moment, “...that’s it? No I love you too?” They spoke.

“What are you saying? I already said I love you.”

“No you didn’t. Saying I’m your happiness and confessing are separate things.” they frown at him, expecting.

“It’s the same.” Yet knowing how stubborn the demon is, the human raised their white flag, although disappointed.

“Okay, alright…” They sighed, wiping his eyes with a tear-stained handkerchief. “Why am I the one comforting you anyways? I’m the one crying because of you.”

Belphegor smiled mischievously, like he didn’t cry a while ago. “Because I’m the youngest.”

“Ugh, why did I fall for a spoiled brat?” Another sigh left them as they pulled him up, “Let's go, I’m sleepy.”

Yet as soon as he rose on his feet, he placed his arms on the back of their knees and shoulder blades to carry them, gaining a small yelp from them.

“Hey...” no protest managed to leave their lips as he sealed it with a chaste kiss. Probably not their first but it was the sweetest one. It only last a few seconds, but Belphegor knew fully well. This memory will last forever.

“I love you more, my solace.”

[yanderes-galore]

Can i have a senerio of yandere Tigerclaw x a mutant reader? Maybe the reader was turned into a mutant recently and Is untrusting to people they dont know

Alright this'll take place before he meets Shredder. Apologies for character flaws I am still bad with Tiger Claw. Sorry for the long wait! Got carried away in this so I hope it was still good ^^

Accidental Encounter

Yandere! Tiger Claw Scenario

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Implied Yandere-like behavior, Obsessive behavior, Mentions of scents, Violence, Threats, Intimidation, Manipulation, Forced relationship, Slight sadism, Possessive behavior.

After your little incident, nothing felt safe anymore. You were an outcast and could never return to your old life again. Not when you... looked like this.

This led to you living in the shadows. Away from the peering eyes of humanity. Right where no one could judge you based on your new form.

You thought you could live a nice life like this. You may be alone and away from family... but you could fend for yourself. A perk of being a mutant was you were much stronger than your human self.

Then the unexpected happened. You were found, by accident but you were found. Found by not only another mutant, but a mutant assassin.

Tiger Claw was what he went by. He was hunting down a target yet he must've smelled you lurking in the darkness. Before you could flee the tall tiger mutant knocks you against a wall.

You cry out in pain, staring at his predatory eyes. You didn't mean to get in the way! It wasn't your intention.

"Just what do you think you're doing here?"

The larger mutant hisses at you. You keep your ground and try to be intimidating. You never liked new people, especially ones who forced you against walls.

"Trying to stay out of the way! I have no business with you... just let me go and I'll slink off."

Tiger Claw's nose twitches, catching your scent. You wrinkle your nose at him before trying to push off him. He doesn't relent.

"... Fine. You don't seem like a threat, anyway. Go. I don't have time for this."

With that the infamous bounty hunter lets you go. Quickly you run off, wanting to hide away and never be found again. Meanwhile, Tiger Claw couldn't get your scent out of his nose.

It wasn't a bad scent, in fact it was strangely pleasant to him. You also looked so scared and terrified of him... something he faintly remembers. He was like that once.

Scared, confused, and cast out of his village.

Part of the tiger felt sympathy towards you. He may be busy now, yet he wished to help you. He wasn't heartless... he just had a job to do.

He thought he'd forget about you, another lost soul tormented by the Krang....

However, Tiger Claw found your scent again. Again, you were on the dark streets. Fending for yourself as it's all you could do.

"Hey." Tiger Claw calls to you, you then turn towards him. You scoff and keep your distance.

"What? Are you going to throw me against another wall?"

"No. I actually wish to help this time."

"How do you expect to do that? How am I to trust you?"

Tiger Claw studied your behavior closely. You looked like you wanted to trust him but couldn't bring yourself to do it. You two were so similar.

"I was like you once."

You stare at him blankly.

"Except I managed to make something of myself. What you need is help. Help I'm willing to offer."

"R-Really...?"

Tiger Claw grins at your hopeful expression. That gaze suited you much better than the confusion you usually had.

"Sure. Yet I hope you know every deal has a price."

You frown again, Tiger Claw laughs softly.

"Really? Like what?"

"Let's start with your name...."

------

After you met Tiger Claw, you thought you could feel safer. The bounty hunter helped you out of your life in the shadows and befriended you. He was a great ally to have.

However, after months, you didn't feel safer. In fact, you felt you might have been better off in the shadows. As long as it meant you could keep your distance from others again.

Tiger Claw quickly became the reason you didn't trust others. He came off as so kind to you. Although that kindness slowly became something worse the longer you knew him.

You originally bonded over the fact you had similar pasts. You allowed him to build you up. You were even patient when he had to leave for another bounty.

Then you noticed him, being a tiger, was possessive. Possessive of his territory, obsessive towards his closest companion. He became terrifying.

Who you once thought of as a friend now tried to convince you there was something more. That you two were inseparable. That the encounter you had that day was fate trying to send a message.

You didn't believe any of that but tried to ignore his ramblings. He was touchy, clingy to you when you were alone. You put up with it... but Tiger Claw scared you.

Was he planning on using you? Why did he want to push this relationship so hard? Did you really capture his attention that much?

You're intoxicating to the fellow mutant.... To the point he was willing to do whatever he could to keep you under his care and watchful eye.

Once again, you no longer felt safe. Even if Tiger Claw claimed he was trying to help, you could no longer believe him.

It was time for you two to go separate ways...

However...

"That isn't part of our little deal, is it?"

Confronting the mutant was a poor decision. Tiger Claw's eyes held so much irritation towards your suggestion that you two stay alone for a bit. How selfish....

"Have you forgotten just who gave you a better life?"

"No, It's just that-"

"It was ME. I helped you out of your position. Now you wish to leave? Just where will you go? You'd only have the streets."

"Maybe I'd be happier there!"

Tiger Claw's growl was loud enough to feel in your soul. You immediately shut yourself up. The tiger in front of you looked just about ready to pounce on you.

"Nonsense. Even if you did manage to leave, I'd remember your scent. If I ever caught it in my nose again... I'd chase it down."

You're then cornered by Tiger Claw, any defiance you had left your body.

"I'd hunt you down like a cat chasing prey. Then once I caught you... I'd drag you back. I enjoy a good hunt, after all."

Tiger Claw then laughs at your fight faltering. He knew you couldn't leave him. In fact, he had a feeling you knew too.

What he said was all true. If you managed to sneak away then he'd know your scent. All scents are unique, there was no changing them completely.

He'd find you even if you went back into hiding.

There was no way for you to feel safe now that he has you.

[snarkythewoecrow]

Heyy, your addiction fics are so well written and with care enough to not trigger someone, I was hoping I could request one? Like Peter's in college and the stress gets to him so for a while he like loses his mind and turns to partying but his family helps him? you don't have to write this ofc, love your fic! (I'm spideyreids2003 on ao3!)

Thanks for the prompt! I had fun writing this. 

***Warning for alcohol abuse and drug use*** 

Read on Ao3

“Peter, maybe you should call it a night, get some extra sleep.” Ned tried to reason, but Peter wasn’t listening. He was three drinks in and working toward a buzz already and didn’t want to go back to their dorm.

College turned out to be different than Peter had expected. He’d planned to focus on his studies, make some new friends, get good grades, and impress Tony. He was attending the man’s alma mater, after all, but things had a funny way of working out.

Peter had started school with big dreams, but a few months into the year, and he was struggling against the current to stay afloat. His grades didn’t come as easily for him as they did in high school, and his life wasn’t as easy either. Everything was more complicated. There were days he felt like a failure, and maybe in some ways, he was one. He certainly wasn’t handling the stress like he should.

He’d spent his life abiding by the rules, and maybe that played a role in his new coping mechanism. Perhaps it was a cry for help. Either way, the partying he had been doing drowned out the noise in his head and made things a little easier to deal with at the moment, though there was always a price to pay.

The more he partied, the more his grades slipped. The more his grades slipped, the more defeated he felt, making him want an escape, so he would drink himself into a stupor and try to forget. He knew it was a problem, but he couldn’t see a better solution. So the cycle continued unchecked.  

Then there was Ned, who stood in front of where Peter sat on the couch, giving him his best disapproving face. Peter wanted to go back to when they were in high school, and things were simpler between them, but he couldn’t, so he needed to accept how things were now, which meant that Peter wasn’t the same kid he used to be. Drinking had given him a way to muffle the chaos in his head and have a little fun, too. Ned didn’t understand, probably because Ned was better than him. He always had been.

Peter put up a good front, but he had always struggled beneath his mask. He knew he wasn’t perfect, and now that he was in college, facing pressure like never before, that mask was cracking. It was clear for anyone who dared look that Peter was falling apart. Some people might see a college kid partying and having fun, but if someone were to look closely, they’d see it was more nefarious. Peter was using it as a cover to hide his failures.

He knew it wasn’t good, but Peter never claimed to be great at self-care.

“I’m good here.” Peter sipped from his Solo cup, glancing up at Ned. "Really, I’ll just stay for a few hours, and then I’ll walk back.”

Ned pursed his lips. “I don’t like leaving you here. It’s never good, Peter. You’ve been doing this too much lately. What would May think?”

Peter downed the last of his drink. That was a low blow. May had been dead for nearly a year. A man had charged into the emergency room, shooting anyone unlucky enough to cross his path. Of course, May hadn’t stayed hidden. She’d run across the hall to grab a child and got shot. By the time they could get to her, she was gone.

Peter didn’t need to be a psychiatrist to know that her death played a part in his current spiral. At minimum, it didn’t help his sleep, which came at a premium these days, something that wasn’t helping matters at all.

After his aunt died, Tony stepped up to help him, paying for his college and making sure he wanted nothing, making Peter’s current situation feel even worse. He wasn’t just letting down May’s memory by partying like he was, but he was letting down Tony, too. Peter didn’t want to think about what Tony would say about his new lifestyle. The worst thing was, he’d probably be understanding, telling Peter it was okay and sharing stories about his own struggles, which just made Peter feel worse.

He deserved Tony’s anger, maybe some choice words. You didn’t blow your college career by partying and not expect some consequences.

What kind of person did this make him? Not Spider-Man, that was for sure. He hadn’t even gone out to patrol in months. He didn’t feel like a hero anymore. He and Spider-man couldn’t be further apart. Maybe it was time they parted ways, at least for a while.

Peter pushed himself up to get another drink, nearly bumping into Ned, who had to hastily step back to avoid him.  

“Peter, come on, man.” Ned’s voice chased after him.

Peter glanced over his shoulder, briefly meeting Ned’s gaze. He didn’t like the concern he saw, so he looked away, going back to making another drink.

“I’m really fine, Ned. Trust me.”

“Maybe a year ago, before everything got bad, I would have, but I don’t think you’re thinking straight anymore. I think you need to talk to someone.”

Peter turned around, taking a sip of his drink. It was more alcohol than soda, and it burned his throat. He welcomed the feeling. It would take a lot to get him drunk. His mutation made it hard to get there, but the payoff was worth it. He relished the moment when the world blurred, and everything hurt a little less.

The music thumped in the background, and someone bumped into Ned, making him frown and cast his disapproving glare in their direction. Peter swirled his drink in the red plastic cup, watching it slosh around before sucking down the contents in a few big gulps. When he looked at Ned, his expression had turned hurt. His shoulders slumping, Ned shook his head, stepping forward to put a hand on Peter’s shoulder.

“I’ll see you back at the dorm, right? Not too late?” Ned asked.

Peter pushed back against his guilt and smiled. “Yeah, yeah, I won’t be out past three.”

Sighing, Ned patted his shoulder twice and then disappeared into the crowd. Peter stared at the people for a moment before turning back to refill his drink. The ache in his chest was back, and he wanted to forget. He wanted to let everything go and have fun.

Peter downed another drink, then headed for the couch where a bowl of pills was being passed around. He didn’t normally get into drugs, but he was missing May, and he wanted to have a little fun. He joined them, sitting next to a girl he recognized from one of his classes. He didn’t know what it was that he took, but he didn’t care either. Soon, he felt himself relaxing, and he spent the rest of the night drinking and melting into the couch.

He woke up in the morning or thought it was morning, but from the bright sun coming in the windows, he realized it might be closer to noon. He wasn’t in his bed, and when he turned his cheek, it scratched on the polyester fabric of the couch. Blinking his eyes, it took a moment to place himself, but then he saw the cups and beer bottles, and hazy memories of the previous night drifted back.

Groaning, he scrubbed a hand over his eyes and sat up, his foot bumping into a body on the floor. Squinting, he looked at the ground and saw someone was passed out on the floor between the couch and coffee table.

He needed to get out of here. Ned was going to kill him.

He stepped over the body and patted his pockets for his phone. He needed to see the time. He’d probably missed class again, and his professor wasn’t going to be understanding. He’d already missed a bunch.

Feeling his phone in his pocket, he grabbed it and checked the time. Shit. It was after eleven. As he went to stuff his phone back in his pocket, Thunderstruck started playing, and he looked down to see Tony’s face lighting up the screen.

Double shit.

Scrubbing a hand over his face quickly, he answered the call and brought the phone to his ear. He scratched at his hair as he greeted Tony.

“Hey, Tony, what’s up?”

“I should ask you. Ned called.”

Peter’s heart skipped a beat. He’d be talking to Ned later about boundaries. For now, though, he needed to deal with the fallout.

“Oh, really? What did he say?” He tried to keep his voice even, but it raised in tone at the end. His nerves were getting to him.

“He said you didn’t come home. Again. Seems to be a running problem with you lately. I thought everything was going okay. What’s going on, Peter?”

“No, it’s no big deal. I just stayed out late, um, studying.”

Tony hummed. “That’s interesting. Tell you what. I need to straighten away a few things here, and then I’ll fly out. I can be there tonight.”

“Wait, what? No, no, no, you don’t need to come out here.” The last thing he needed was to see Tony’s expression fall when he saw what a mess Peter was. “It’s fine. It’s all fine. I swear. You don’t need to come out here.”

“I’ll see you tonight, kid. Maybe shower or something before I get there. Ned mentioned something about you going through a grunge phase.”

“I’m not—” He started to argue, but Tony hung up. Huffing out a frustrated breath, Peter shoved the phone back into his pocket and weaved his way through the mess to get back to his dorm.

He was going to kill Ned.

“Why did you call Tony?” Peter asked as soon as he was in the door.

Ned was at the desk, working on his computer. He turned to look at Peter. His expression was hard to read, though. Peter thought he looked a little smug, but maybe he was just imagining it.

“I’ve tried talking to you for months, and it hasn’t done any good. You’re blowing your chance here. You spend more time at parties than you do in class. It’s not cool, Peter. If I can’t stop you, maybe Mr. Stark can.” He finished with a shrug and turned back to his computer.

Peter was angry, but he couldn’t blame Ned. He was only trying to help, part of what made Ned a better person than Peter. Sighing, he walked over to his bed and flopped down.

What was he going to do?

At some point, he showered and put on some questionable clothes. He found them under his bed. Other than a few wrinkles, they seemed okay. At least they didn’t smell. He needed to prioritize things a little better. Laundry came after everything else.

He skipped his classes that day, too stressed about Tony coming to attend. He was already in deep with his professors. He couldn’t see how missing another day would hurt.

Sometime after their ramen dinner they made in a coffee pot, Ned left to visit a friend, leaving Peter to anxiously await Tony’s arrival.

At seven o’clock, there was a knock at the door, and Peter had to take a deep breath to collect himself before opening the door.

It was Tony.

“Jesus, kid. Ned wasn’t kidding about the grunge phase,” Tony said by way of greeting.

Peter forced a smile, running his fingers through his hair. “Come in, sorry it’s not much, but, um, it’s a dorm. You’ve been here, so you know.”

Tony nodded and entered the room, turning around slowly and taking it in. He settled in the desk chair, looking at Peter expectantly. “So, I think we need to talk, and depending on what you, depends on whether you get to stay, or if you take some time and collect yourself.”

It felt like something had punched Peter in the gut. He’d never considered not being able to stay. Tony wouldn’t do that to him, would he? He scrambled for something to say, anything to make this better.

“It’s not that bad. I don’t know what Ned said, but it’s fine.”

“That you’ve been getting wasted every night, and not surprisingly, your grades are slipping. Ned tells me you’ve been missing classes because you're too hungover to go. He's worried about you—I’m worried about you.”

Tony’s eyes were soft and full of concern, and Peter didn’t deserve it. He’d been screwing up, and he knew it, and Tony should be angry. He should hate him for wasting his money. Instead, he just looked worried, and that stung worse.

Part of him wanted to lie, to make up some half-truth to explain his behavior, but another part of him was tired. Now that Tony knew, Peter didn’t want to fight it. Since May had died, he’d been struggling to kick his feet to stay above water. He’d made some bad choices, but maybe he didn’t need to drown here.

“I’m sorry,” Peter’s voice cracked on the words. “I’m sorry, Tony. I’ve really made a mess of things, and I don’t even know why.” Tears pricked at his eyes, and he wiped them in frustration. “I’ve really fucked things up.”

Tony stood, crossing over to Peter and pulling him into a hug before he could object.

Peter melted into his arms, feeling grounded for the first time in a while. Tony was solid and real and there. He existed and wasn’t going away. His presence eased Peter’s anxious thoughts. Even his cologne was familiar and made him feel safe and at home.

After a minute, Tony pulled back, holding Peter by the shoulders.

Peter wiped his tears again, sniffling. “I’m sorry, Tony.”

Tony shook his head. “We’ll figure this out. I think you know I have some history with drinking and partying.”

Peter gave him a watery smile. “Yeah, I remember Rhodey telling me you peed in your suit.”

Tony laughed. “It was warm for a minute at least, but it puddled in my boot.”

“Ew, Tony. That’s gross.”

“I’m sure you’ve done some regrettable things, too. I remember what it’s like to be single and in college. Now, here's what we're going to do. We’re going to sit down, and you’re going to show me what’s happening with your grades.”

“You don’t have to. I can handle it.”

Tony raised a brow. “Really? You’re gonna try for that? I think we both know you need a hand. We can figure this out. I honestly think it might be good for you to take some time off.”

“And do what? I need school.”

“And see a therapist. Talking to someone can help. I wouldn’t be surprised if you still haven’t processed losing your aunt. I think even a few months to get your head on straight might make a difference. Come back at the start of a new year—a fresh start and all that jazz.”

Peter frowned. He didn’t want to miss school, but he also felt like he was spiraling out of control, and he didn’t know if he could salvage things. Maybe what Tony was offering wasn’t so bad.

Tony squeezed his shoulder. “Just think about it, kid. We don’t need to decide today, just know the option is there. I can pull some strings. They don’t name a building after you for nothing.”

Peter nodded. “Yeah, can I think about it?”

“Sure, like I said, we have time. Now, why don’t we skip looking over the damage and just go grab a bite? You look like a hobo skeleton. Have you eaten anything green this year?”

Peter gave him a weak laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “Is ramen a vegetable?”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Not quite, kiddo, but good try. God, I don’t miss college.”

They went out to dinner, and Peter spent the night thinking over Tony’s offer. He even ate something green. The last year had been a disaster, and Peter didn’t even know how to get back on track. Maybe a reset was what he needed. May had always wanted him to succeed, and Peter wanted to make her proud, something he wasn’t doing now.

He didn’t need to think any longer. He knew what he had to do. All he needed was a little time and maybe a little help, and he would be okay. He was just glad to have Tony around to help him.

[final-girl96]

Hate That I Love

Daryl Dixon x Grimes!OC

Slow Burn Relastionship

Warnings: language, violence, abuse, sexual content, little bit of depression, anxiety

Chapter 43

We came around a tree and two woman jumped up one woth long brown hair am d another with short blonde hair.

"You found us, okay? Here we are. We earned what we took." The girl with brown hair said.

I heard another twig snap and as me and Daryl went to turn around a man came up hitting both of us with a thick branch knocking us both out.

Daryls PIC

I opened my eyes to see it was dark out. There was a fire going with two woman and a man sitting on the other side of it. I started going in and out of consciousness. When I came to again I saw the woman with brown hair shoving my crossbow into a bag they were talking but I couldn't make out what they were saying. I ended up falling back into unconsciousness.

When I finally came to again the man was in front of me. "Hey, get up. Hey, get up" he said.

I was proped up against a tree MY hands tied in front of me.

"Where moving" The guy said point a gun at me. I just glared at him then it dawned on me Nikyla was with me.

"Where is she?" He growled.

"Where is who?" The guy asked.

"The girl! Where she is?! I'll kill ya if ya hurt her!" Daryl growled.

"She's fine she's over there" the guy said. I looked over where he was pointing to see Nikyla laying on her side still knocked out.

"You don't say shit and I won't have to" the guy told him.

"We ain't who ya think" Daryl told him.

"Say something else. Go ahead." The guy said pointing the gun at my head. He grabbed me by the front of my shirt and pulled me up to hmy feet.

"Follow them." He said.

"I ain't goin no where til she's awake" I said.

The man lead him over to you "get her up or I kill her" he told me.

I glared at him but knelt down. "Hey, Nik. Wake up" I said and nudged her with my tied hands.

"Hmmm" shehummed.

"Come on. Time to get up Nik." I told her.

She opened your eyes "Daryl?" She said.

"Yeah, it's me. I need ya ta get up" I said. She looked up at me and noticed my hand were tied. Her eyes widen and she shot up seeing a man with blonde hair and the two woman behind me. She looked down to see her hands were tied together as well.

I stood up helping her get up the best the I could. "It's gonna be okay" I told her. She stood up looking at him then at the blonde haired man, she walked over and started to walk behind the two woman.

"Here, drink the rest." The brown haired woman said handing the other girl a bottle of water.

"We should save it." The blonde woman said.

"We'll find some more. Drink. You're supposed to stay hydrated. It all works together." The brown haired woman told her.

"Yeah, it does." The girl said and drank the water. She handed the battle back and then the woman took it handing it to me "here take it" she said but I ignored her. The blonde guy took it walking over to me.

"We don't need you falling down. Drink." The guy said.

I took it walking over to Nick "here drink" I said.

She took the bottle drinking some of it and giving it back to me.I took it drinking the rest of the water.

"They find us, maybe we give you to them, they let us call it even. You see, we're reasonable people. Everybody's got their code. You feel you gotta kneel, that's fair enough. We don't." The guy said.

Nik looked at me mouthing "What the fuck?" I just shrugged my shoulders.

"let's go" the guy said taking the bottle and handed it back to the woman. He went to grab Nik but I wasn't having any of that.

"Don't touch her!" He growled.

"Come on" Isaid looking at her and she walked over to me and started to follow the two women.

"Who do you think we are?" Nik asked As we walked through the blackened burnt forest. No one answered and just kept walking. She were in front of me and behind the blonde girl.

"Can't believe were back" she said.

"Its not home anymore. But it's better then where we were" the brown haired girl told her.

"This is a pit stop. We pick up Patty nothing more than that." The guy says.

"How'dyou do it?" The blonde girl asks.

"You saw where I left the truck? We opened the valve and drove all the way in from Farmview Road. Ran from the tree line till we got to the pavement. Lit up a matchbook from the Sweetwater and dropped it in on the trail.

Then we just ran for the car. Got in and the dead ones were there. They were beating on the hood, and then-- and then boom! Knocked 'em on their asses and I took an axe to each one." The guy told her.

"Then we just watched it go up. No more moans, no more of that wailing. It was just the fire, just burning them all away." The brown haired girl said.

Nik and I listened looking around at the chard blackened burnt trees, forest floor and bodies.

"You did all this?" I asked.

"It was right at the start. Everything stopped-- the TV, the radio. We were here. The forest was full of them. And the other ones in town, they were drawn to it. They just walked right into the flames. We got most of them. Thought we ended it for us, and she was in DC. We thought everyone was fighting them wherever they were." The brown haired woman said.

"Yeah, we thought that was what everybody was doing. Fighting it. That we'd all win together. We were stupid." The guy said.

Nikyla and I stopped "Y'all don't think you're being stupid right now?" I asked.

The guy walked over to me putting the gun in my face. "Are you saying I should kill you? I mean it, are you gonna try and pull something on us? Are we just being thick here by not removing all doubt? Right now, by me not pulling this trigger, is that a mistake? I'm serious. I really wanna know. You made a choice to kill for someone else, to have them own you for a roof over your head and three squares, so maybe I'm not considering all aspects here. You tell me, am I being stupid?" The guy said.

I looked at him calmly you how ever were freaking out inside. "No. Look, I got somewhere to be. We can make a deal. We can help you out." I said.

"You're one of them. You're hurt and you're alone and you'd say anything. We should've never trusted you people to begin with." The guy said.

"Go on. Keep moving." He told the both of us. We kept walking until we were out of the burnt forest and came out to a small field to see a fence with rigs and walkers behind it.

"Son of a bitch." The guy said walking towards the fence with the two women. The walkers growled and slowly walked closer to the fence.

"Patty." The guy says.

"She could be..." brown haired girl started.

"No, she's gone.the guy told her. Nik and I just stood back watching them.

"Then we make another plan." Brown haired girl says.

"Yeah, we get out of here, that's the plan." The guy tells her.

"Then that's the plan." She says.

"You guys didn't have to do this for me." The blonde girl said.

"It was the right thing for all of us." The brown haired woman told her.

"This was the right thing? Even if just you guys went back now, if you just told them that it was me..." The blonde girl started.

"No, we'll find a way. Just think about it."

"No."

"Look, maybe we don't get as far, but we'll get--" the guy started when the blonde girl fainted.

"hey! Hey, hey, hey! Tina," they both said.

I grabbed the bag. "hey! Hey, baby sister, look at me." The brown haired woman said.

"Hey, stop! No!" The guy yelled standing up shooting at me and Nik as we took off.

"Don't! We need that, please!" The woman yelled.

Authors Note: If anything in the warning bothers you please do not read. I do not own The Walking Dead or it characters. I only own my characters that I make up. Something's may be out of order I'm going to try and follow the time line but It might change a little with the new character added. It starts in season 1 I like to start from the beginning. Please like, reblog, and comment if you like the story it really helps me get motivated to continue and helps me know what you'd like to see. And please if you like to read this as you feel free to do so. I understand some people my rather read as themselves I know I do sometimes. Thanking you for reading! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Taglist: If you'd like to be (un) tagged please let me know on the comments and click on the link to my Google Doc and you can add or unadd your name.

@fanfictionsilove @phoenixblack89

@tired-of-waitingx-blog @theonlyone-meeeee

@cathwritestragediesnotsins

@million-dollar-milkshake

@lokilover-39 @twdeadfanfic

@xdsockmonkey @l-u-n-a-m

@inlovewdxx @wnygirl2012

@killionaire02 @jodiereedus22

@tehfabbooty @dixonluvv

@yenne-yen-illustrations

@itsjodieeeee @summerluciddreams

@daryldixonandfrogs @jordangdelacruz

@captain-shannon-becker

@catsoftheapocalypse @siren-queen03

@dmv49 @crazy-fan-101 @jaycc7983

@gunslingingarcher @secretheropruneghost

@fanfictionkingd0m @leej2468

@theunofficialduke @storybookhall

@badthing123 @felicisimor @rosey1981

@bunnymother93 @marylimlp @danalandfair

[marshmallowprotection]

Man, I love the Choi twins so freaking much, but when I truly imagine myself in the MC's place, I can't help but question my ability to handle some of the things they go through, especially in Saeran's route. I have ADHD, and from that RSD, which is basically when my brain goes, "Even if it wasn't actual criticism/rejection, here come the tears anyway!"

I honestly think I do a very good job and turning my ADHD into something positive; I make jokes out of the quirks that it comes with, and sometimes I don't even have to try, because things like bursts of rapid-fire questions only for me to answer them myself all within one breath tends to elicit laughter on its own.

But RSD, my emotional sensitivity, I hate it so much. I hate it; I hate crying in front of others. I don't even like it much on my own. I don't care how much people say my feelings are "valid" because sometimes they aren't! Sometimes it's really a stupid thing and yet the tears come anyways even though I don't deserve to cry over that, I don't need to, it's not something to cry over.

...I don't work well under pressure. Under time limits. I freeze up, my brain goes blank. I literally cannot think well until I'm calm, and staying calm can be very difficult. I just... I'm not sure I'd be good enough, strong enough, for either routes, and I know it's not really a big deal, but I can't help but feel a little... disappointed in myself.

I have a better chance in Saeyoung's route; my determination to help him, my stubbornness, could be enough for me to pull through, but I'd probably be so damn hesitant and nervous after his cold demeanor sticks around. Even a quiet, level, but cold, statement such as, "We can't even be friends" would probably bring the tears and UGH I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it.

Saeran... that's a special case. And, again, I know it's not a real situation, but I can't help but think about it, and I'm sorry I'm ranting like this, but it just kinda got to me and I needed to write this out kind of in depth. Thank you for reading this far...

Due to a friendship in my past -- my first best friend -- I think I would struggle with him a little. Not so much during his route, although the ADHD and RSD would make that difficult, too. Man... I wouldn't give in, not at all, but you can bet 100% that I would cry at least a little every damn time Suit Saeran came in to verbally torment me. Literally none of what he says would actually hurt me, but just because they're harsh words... And I wouldn't put it past him to actually reach into my insecurity of my ADHD making me annoying and overbearing, because I likely would've mentioned it to Ray once or twice or a million times lol.

But past that, GE Saeran seems to be heavily emotionally dependent on the MC -- no surprise there, but I... My friend. She was like that. Different issues, though: depression, anxiety, self-harm, and eventually suicidal thoughts.

I carried all her secrets, all her problems. I was in middle school. I was eager that someone would trust me so much. I was certain it had no impact on me.

And then it did. And it still does. I took on an... unfavorable habit. I still do it on occasion -- and I do small versions of it everyday. It's a terrible and destructive coping mechanism, but I... I like it.

We had a fight. I told her parents everything. They got her help. I'm happy for her, always still worried about it, but we're not friends anymore. I couldn't take it.

Ever since that, I get cautious around people who show similar behaviours to her -- thinking, I can't deal with a repeat.

Saeran isn't exactly a repeat, and I'd still want to be there for him 100%... but I'm afraid of how it might affect me. I don't know what would happen. Maybe I'd accidentally end up distancing myself from him, or maybe I'd fall back into the position of taking all of his burdens onto myself, as much as he would let me...

I realize Saeyoung would likely also be a little emotionally dependent as well, but I still think I could handle that a little better... maybe... Geez. It's not a big deal now, but... I mean, people like that -- people who are or get emotionally dependent -- exist. And if I meet someone who I really like, platonically or otherwise, and they end up being even a little emotionally dependent, I fear I would unintentionally distance myself, and end up losing an amazing relationship... This is why, I believe, the thing with the Choi twins affects me so much. That, and I know I would really want to help them, but I would struggle with so much feelings of inadequacy... No, I'd struggle with emotional inadequacy itself...

Sorry for this long post, but thank you for reading... ^^"

[417]

There can be a true catharsis in writing out your feelings so I hope that you feel a little better now that you’ve gotten it out. The fun thing about games is that it is allowing you to range outside of your comfort zone and put you on a playing field where you can click things that you may feel too nervous or unsure to do in your actual life! It’s good that you can find comfort in these characters, as well, and I totally get where you’re coming from. 

Here’s the thing, yes, there are hard times emotionally with both of them but do not think for a second that they wouldn’t stop themselves in the middle of what they are doing if you start crying or get upset. Neither of them wants to hurt you or make you cry. They’re both fully aware by the ends of their routes that they’ve got a lot to work on. 

It’s not easy. But, coping and learning how to deal with your trauma in a healthy way takes time. Realistically, the events of the game should happen over a much longer period and that would make it easier to put yourself in the situation and deal with as it comes. Especially with Ray’s Route, specifically. Because there is such a drastic change in his feelings. Falling in love and playing with the line of what he knows and what he doesn’t... that’s a whole thing. 

Yes, to an extent, he leans on his MC. I’ve talked about that before. He’s going to lean on them a lot. He won’t mean to do it but he’s only ever lived his life in the sense that he can please others and do for them. Everyone gave him a reason to be alive and to exist, and now that he doesn’t have that, he doesn’t know what to do and that’s hard. That’s going to be a battle in itself but he’ll get better in time with therapy and positive support from everyone. However, that can be exhausting, so that’s something to take with care. 

Saeran knows that he needs to work on himself and he’ll apologize and work with you when he does that. You just have to be gentle with him and be honest about how exhausted it makes you feel. He’s willing to work with you and take care of this. He wants to get better. He wants to fight for his health. But, Rome isn’t built in a day. If you love him and he loves you, he wants to make this work. 

Saeyoung is hard in the sense that yes, he loves you and he would do anything for you. His issue is that he can be skittish and paranoid. In the events of the SE, he and his brother still have to live with the fact that their father is still out there and could still hurt them. He’s not going to push that fear onto you specifically but it will show in what he does. He sleeps with his back to the wall. He needs to double-check when you go out alone on CCTV. He watches over you and he can get really scared. 

It’s not smothering, per se, but it is something that he needs to work on and very well acknowledge that he is doing. It’s not healthy for him to live like that, but the fear is warranted so that’s hard to fight. He, just like Saeran, understands that he has a long road ahead of him to get better... but he wants to, and the willingness to be ready to fight for yourself is the first step in the long battle. If someone isn’t willing to fight, then it’s not going to work. 

With your own fears, I think they would both be happy to help you work on your own fears and help you in your own battle. Support systems are important, and the Choi boys want you to feel safe and loved too. Fear is fear, but love is love, and it’ll be okay. If you find comfort in them, don’t fear that things would spiral out of control, there will be hard nights, but it will be okay. At the end of the day, you’ve got someone that cares about you as much as you care about them.

It’s about being willing to be honest. 

Being honest is hard, but you have to acknowledge it. It’s something that the three of you can work on together, no matter what timeline this is. Like, to give you a personal example, even though I love Saeran, I would have a hard time myself being there in the physical form. One of my triggers is loud voices, and I would have an issue with Suit Saeran as well even though I tend to try to rationalize anger and fear to combat my anxiety. I can’t control the fact that I cry when people scream at me, though. 

But, I do control how I let it affect me afterward and that’s a part of my personal battle to cope and to heal... and knowing that Saeran is just fighting so hard to control himself and he feels so twisted up, well, I have faith in him even when he is angry and lost. That’s me though, I have faith in people. It’s just good, to be honest with yourself and know that you can find comfort and rationality in that love.