#i don't think i can ever recall a time where she was wearing anything other than jeans or any other long bottoms

[leslieseveride]

believe me i know full well that no woman needs to dress revealing for any other reason besides that they want to, especially miss lucy chen, but i really am no better than a man cause my gay ass is dying for her to show some more skin. maybe some leg or a midriff? perhaps a little bit of cleavage or maybe even a little bit of ass.

[lecsainz]

Could you write friends to lovers with Ollie Bearman? Something really fluffy where they realise they have feelings for each other, thank you.

OUT OF MY CONTROL

˒ ⌕ masterlist . . .

parings: ollie bearman + fem!reader

summary: the one where you and ollie are best friends and ollie finally creates the courage to declare yourself.

🗒️ : best friends to lovers are definitely my favorite trope!

type: fluff ಇ

Ollie had known Y/N for as long as he could remember. He first met the girl with y/h/c hair in elementary school. Ollie remembered the six-year-old Y/N approaching the seven-year-old Ollie, taking his hand, and saying, "You're my boyfriend." At the time, young Ollie had bolted away from her, and every time he saw her, he'd hide. That was until the day Y/N decided she wanted another boy to be the father of her dolls and chose the boy who always ran from her to be her best friend.

Today, all Ollie wanted was for his best friend to see him in a different light. Not that Ollie was afraid to make a move, as he was popular among the girls, but he was afraid that Y/N would distance herself from him as she did with any other boy who wasn't Ethan – a guy Ollie disliked.

What did that blond boy, who played football, have that he didn't? He raced a car at almost 200 km/h and was afraid to compete with someone who kicked a ball.

He couldn't recall when he started having feelings for Y/N. Maybe it was during his first race when she showed up wearing a shirt with his number, or perhaps it was during the countless nights they spent talking at each other's houses. It might have been when he saw his best friend cry over Ethan, either because they had broken up or because they weren't speaking. The fact that he couldn't remember didn't change anything, but he simply wanted to be able to call her his. His girl. His girlfriend. Not just his best friend.

One sunny afternoon, Ollie and Y/N found themselves sitting in the park, chatting away about various topics, as they often did. The laughter flowed effortlessly, and the warmth of their friendship was evident. Ollie knew that he had to find the courage to confess his feelings soon, and he couldn't think of a better place to do it.

As they watched the children playing on the swings, Ollie's heart raced, and he decided it was now or never. He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words.

"Y/N, there's something I've been wanting to tell you for a while," Ollie began, his voice trembling ever so slightly.

Y/N turned to him, her eyes curious. "What is it, Ollie?"

Ollie took a deep breath and looked deeply into her eyes. "Y/N, you mean the world to me. You've been my best friend for as long as I can remember, and I cherish every moment we've spent together. But lately, I've started to feel something more, something beyond friendship. I don't know when it happened, but I've fallen for you, Y/N."

For a moment, the world seemed to stand still. Y/N looked at Ollie, her eyes wide with surprise. The weight of his confession hung in the air, and Ollie felt like his heart was in his throat.

Y/N's expression softened, and she reached out to gently touch Ollie's hand. "Ollie, I... I don't know what to say."

Ollie couldn't help but feel a pang of anxiety. Had he just ruined their friendship? Would she distance herself from him?

But then Y/N smiled, a warm and genuine smile that made Ollie's heart skip a beat. "You know, Ollie, I've been waiting for you to say that for a long time."

Ollie's eyes widened in surprise. "You have?"

Y/N nodded. "Yes, I have. I've been feeling the same way, Ollie. I just didn't want to ruin our friendship by saying anything. But now that you've said it, I can't hold back any longer. I've fallen for you too."

Relief and happiness washed over Ollie. He couldn't believe his luck. "Y/N, you have no idea how happy that makes me."

With a mixture of excitement and relief in the air, Ollie and Y/N leaned closer to each other. The world seemed to fade away as they closed the distance between them, their hearts pounding in anticipation. Their lips met in a soft and tender kiss, sealing the confession of their feelings.

It was a gentle, sweet kiss, filled with the promise of a new beginning. Ollie's hand cupped Y/N's cheek, and her fingers gently threaded through his hair as they shared a moment that had been a long time coming.

[reallyhatethiswebsite]

lazy power bottom raphael & anal fingering/handjobs

Read on AO3

-

Her entrance into his office was unceremonious. The devil sat squinting at old scrolls, looking up at her through his pretty lashes when she stood in front of his desk.

“I don't recall requesting to see you,” he said, his tone neutral. Tav was about to take a monumental risk, but she was still riding the high of her recent piece of freedom. Her magic was slowly returning - helped along by the fragments of his power Raphael was sharing - and it felt a little like the soft afterglow of an orgasm. A good orgasm. Constant. Tav hadn't felt alive like this in a very long time. She kept flexing her fingers and toes; he noticed, but didn't comment. 

“I want to talk to you,” she said simply. 

He was quiet for a minute. Digesting her behavior, and how he was going to manage it. Otherwise his expression was impossible to read. “Then talk.”

It was here, Tav knew, that she had to tread carefully. If she got this right, Raphael would be in her hands - as much as a devil like him ever could be - and she would be the closest to real freedom she'd been…likely since before her cursed magic ever even began to manifest. A depressing thought, but one she didn't linger on. 

“I'd like you to stop having sex with Haarlep,” she said. Instantly she could tell it hadn't been what he was expecting her to say. The surprise on his handsome face would've been comical if she wasn't balancing the certainty of her future on the outcome of this conversation. He wasn't surprised for long. He put down the scroll he was reading, planted his elbows on the desk and folded his hands together, where he rested his chin. He looked at her very much like a boarding school headmaster, both entertained and irritated by an unruly child's audacious behavior. Like it amused him to watch someone so beneath him attempt to display authority, but when the novelty wore off he'd get angry.

“Why should I do that?” He drawled. He was humouring her, Tav knew, because he was curious. Just as she'd hoped. “What makes you think you can tell me to do anything?”

“I can't,” Tav shrugged, “I know I can't. But if you want to keep having sex with me, Haarlep has to be out of the picture - or out of your bed, at least.”

“You're giving me an ultimatum? How cute,” Raphael cooed. That he hadn't incinerated her on the spot was an indication of his piqued interest. “I knew you held distaste for my incubus, but I had no idea it ran so deep.”

“This has nothing to do with me not liking Haarlep,” Tav countered. That was mostly the truth. She absently touched the ugly scarring on her naked throat. She'd wear that collar forever, it seemed, one way or another. Raphael's clever gaze followed her. “I don't share my sexual partners, that's all. Not by choice, anyway, and choice is something you said you'd let me have, at least when it comes to this. Unless you're going back on your word…”

“I am not,” the devil growled; his tone suggested he might like to. “Though you'd do well to make sure you don't mistake my clemency for complacency, songbird. Unless you'd like to find out what happens to people who do.”

“Wouldn't dream of it.”

“I'm sure.” Raphael narrowed his eyes at her, looking her up and down from her bare feet to the crown of her head. Tav did her best not to shift, to remain confident against his scrutiny. His next words were blunt. “Why should I choose you over an incubus I've kept for centuries? A creature perfectly attuned to my body, my desires? One who cannot and will not say no to anything I want to do to them?”

At last it was the moment for Tav to make her case. To admit a truth aloud to herself and to the devil who stole her away from a personal hell far worse than Avernus, or any other layer of Hell.

“Because I want you, Raphael. I want you. I haven't been able to stop thinking about that night in your chambers, the way you looked underneath me as everything else burned…it's driving me crazy. I know it was good for you, too. I can't give you the same precision and experience as Haarlep, but…maybe I can give you something better.”

Raphael's eyes darkened as she spoke, his pupils expanding to swallow the orange of his irises. His countenance changed, even if his placid expression hadn't. It was a subtle shift, but one Tav had become attuned to as she learned him, his mannerisms and habits.

“I must admit, the smell of fire has held quite a…scintillating sentiment for me these past few days,” he said. “Ah, what a delightful impulse buy you've turned out to be…”

Tav felt like a bucket of cold water had been dumped over her head. There was the caveat. A bitter reminder that she was still infernal property, no matter how well he treated her. She couldn't believe it. In the heat of passion, she'd almost allowed herself to forget. This wasn't about sex, or lust. It was Hell's oldest game: manipulation. If she had fun in the meantime, all the better, but she wouldn't again forget why she was doing this. Her flames were not doused, but tempered.

“So, are my terms acceptable?” Tav pressed. Crossed her arms over her chest. Leaned her weight on one hip.

“That depends, dearest.” The devil did so love negotiations. “If I were to relinquish my, shall we say, dalliances with Haarlep and share myself only with you…my little songbird, my sweet pet…” Tav's breath caught. Those words affected her more than she thought. Raphael smiled. “What would that mean?”

Hook. Line. Time for the sinker.

“Let me show you,” she murmured. “Right here, right now. If you're good for it.”

The devil was deeply entertained, that much was obvious. He clicked his fingers and Tav heard his office doors close and lock. “Hmm… What will you have me do now, pet?”

“Bend over the desk. Clothes off. Please.”

For a moment, he did nothing. His silent stare had weight. Tav wondered if this was the point of no return, if she'd found the line and crossed it. If he was testing her mettle, her conviction, to see if she would falter. If he was simply stunned that she believed she could speak to him that way, that she believed he would actually obey. 

Just when Tav thought he wouldn't, when the moment had stretched beyond uncomfortable and she'd almost given into the urge to squirm, Raphael did what she asked. The thrill Tav experienced was substantial. He stood. A simple click and he cleared the surface of his desk; another and he was naked, thick muscles, prominent veins and ribbed cherry-red skin on show, lightly dusted with patches of dark hair. He was softer around the middle than Haarlep's display, and Tav much preferred it. Raphael’s handsome cock was already beginning to fill, his dark pink glans peeking out from beneath his foreskin. He could play at aloofness all he wanted, but his body would always give him away. Still, he was a devil of pride, and there was nothing but smug superiority in the way he positioned himself; forearms braced on the desk, back bent, ass up. His tail swung lazily to-and-fro. He reminded her of his incubus like this, but - and she'd never tell him this - Tav thought he pulled off the seduction much better.

“Well, my songbird,” he purred, equal parts an invitation and a challenge. “Here I am. Show me how you want me.”

As she approached, Tav wished she could hate him the way she hated all other fiends and devils alike. He made it impossible, and that was infuriating, because it complicated so many things. She wished he repulsed her as Lyuris had, but she found Raphael's hellish features quite beautiful. She'd been certain there was nothing beautiful in Hell, but as she smoothed her hands over Raphael's hot skin and he made a quiet noise of approval…

Tav chewed the inside of her cheek until she tasted blood. Remember why you're doing this.

He was so much larger than her, but like this, she could reach the parts of him she wanted much easier. Her touch drifted over his broad shoulders and down the column of his spine. At its base her fingertips flirted briefly with where his tail sprouted; the skin was baby soft on its underside and Raphael seemed to like being touched there, if the gentle “ah!” he released meant anything. He seemed to like being touched everywhere. Things between he and Haarlep were transactions, Tav had realised, but the devil’s appetite wasn't just for sex. He hungered for touch, warm and given willingly. Affection of the basest kind, as so many devils secretly and selfishly did. Something a demon would never understand. That was how she'd get him.

Tav squeezed his backside in both hands. He had a nice ass. She felt down lower to find his balls, smiling at the way he instantly spread his thighs to allow her access. His sack was hot and heavy in her palm, too big to properly hold. She kneaded what she could instead, firm testes inside rolling against his scrotum's thin, smooth skin. She tugged them gently. Raphael groaned, deep and throaty. Tav's deft fingers slid between his buttocks, parting them enough to feel the twitching velvet of his hairless puckered hole. He inhaled sharply when she rested her thumb on it but made no move to stop her. In fact, he lifted his tail and presented himself further.

“Oil?” She asked. Raphael clicked his fingers once more and a little bottle appeared on his desk. Stroking his hole, savouring his anticipatory twitches, Tav used her free hand to pop the lid from the bottle and scent its contents. “Mm, palmarosa. Smells good.”

“They do know how to make fine things in Waterdeep,” said the devil, distractedly. “If you're willing to shell out substantial gold, of course…ahhh…” 

“Of course.” As he spoke, Tav poured a generous helping of the oil on her fingers, and slowly pushed her slick thumb past the tight ring of his anus. The heat and squeeze of his slippery insides was amazing.

“Is that it? More,” Raphael snarled, impatiently pressing into her hand. “What are you waiting for?”

“Nothing at all.”

Her index finger, then her middle, joined her thumb. Experience told her how to twist them, where to rub, when to scissor. Experimentation would tell her where his prostate was, but until then he was enjoying himself anyway. His head dropped forward, clipped moans escaping him as he tried to fuck himself on her fingers, tried to get more friction, more more more.

“Another,” he demanded raspily, “give me another. Harder.”

“As you wish…master.” She said it purely for the shudder that ran through him, for the way he clenched around her fingers, but Tav would be lying if she said it didn't affect her, too. If she looked down, she could see his clawed toes curling. Her ring finger slipped into his ass, her pinky thumping his perineum with each harsh thrust and rub she gave him. The wet noises and her devil's grunts were obscene.

“Yes…nngh, good pet…such a good pet,” Raphael uttered, unable to stop talking even with four fingers up his ass. “So eager to please me…that's it, yes. Like that…”

With her free hand, Tav reached around to grab his cock, fully erect and leaking precum. To do it, she had to press herself flush against him, the backs of his thighs scorching the fronts of hers through the thin dress she wore. She couldn't resist dropping open-mouthed kisses on his flesh. He tasted of sweat and spice, and the strange ridges of his infernal anatomy felt like soft cartilage in her mouth. He sighed so sweetly when she sucked on them. Her fingers on his cock squeezed and stroked, her intent to reach his glans and smear his precum around for lubricant, but Raphael snatched that hand and brought it to his face. His forked tongue - that dangerous thing of pure silver -  licked up the length of her palm and lathered her digits with hot spit, and when he deemed them sufficiently sloppy, he put them right back on his aching prick.

“Fuck,” Tav cursed breathlessly, resting her cheek between his wing joints for a moment. Heart in her throat, blood roaring in her ears, cunt slick. 

Remember. 

The devil chuckled, but it quickly dissolved into a low, rumbling moan when she made a narrow cage of her hand for him to fuck, to rut and rub his prick into like an animal; and that was exactly what he did, rolling his hips to alternate between pleasuring his cock and spearing himself on her fingers in his ass. Tav felt every flex of his spine, felt every drag of his foreskin and swollen vein and ridge on his cock, felt every clench and spasm of his rectum. Felt it when she found the spot she'd been looking for, soft and spongy beneath her fingertips. The sound Raphael let out as his big body jerked bordered on inhuman; his claws scratched at the wood of his desk, his wings flexed, his tail thrashed.

“There,” he hissed, “right there.”

Tav kissed and bit him as she ruthlessly worked his prostate. He barely noticed, his rutting becoming feverish, snarls and growls mixing with wet gasps, fast and shallow. His cock stiffening further, balls tight, Tav knew he was about to come. She awaited it with vicious satisfaction, wishing only that she could see his face as he unraveled, if his sharp features would twist as lovely as they did the night she rode him in flames. 

He finished with a shudder, a guttural choked groan, his head lolled back, wings spread wide. His inner muscles fruitlessly milked her fingers, his fat cock spurting ropes of hot cum all over her knuckles, his chest, the desk. His claws had dug deep gouges in the wood. In the aftermath he quivered, panting. Tav felt as though she couldn't catch her breath, either. Her forehead rested once again between his wing joints where she stayed, still holding his softening cock. It took effort not to sigh with him as she pulled out, giving his hole - bereft, wet, winking - one final gentle rub. Her wrist ached, her cunt ached, her heart ached (but only a little). 

[elliesstrapon]

-------✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿˗ˏˋ ´ˎ˗✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯-------

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡“ Birthday Sex „ ♪°

.・゜-: ✿ :-

✧ Pairings: Ellie Williams x Reader

✧Summary: Ellie wants nothing more than for you to have an amazing birthday; she shows you the time of your life 🤭

✧Warnings: nsfw, smut, (r! receiving/ fingering), Ellie is a sucker for teasing, oral, alcohol, swearing, dom Ellie, flirty reader, I will TRY not to use Y/n please hear me out. Also not very good at writing this stuff so you know.. Anyways enjoy :))

___________________________________

Ever since you'd turned 17, your birthday hadn't really meant much to you, the presents were cool, the cards were alright, it just wasn't anything new to you, it was the same thing time after time again.

And of course today was no different, you were 20 years old. And reasonably so; you weren't doing anything, at all.

Or.. so you thought. Since you'd moved to Jackson (two years prior), your friends insisted on making every day special. Something about "making every day count," and, "You never know what could happen" is typically what Dina and Jesse would say. You'd told them repeatedly you couldn't care less even though you appreciated it, and up until now Ellie never cared what you did for your birthday, she just followed, stayed quiet, sometimes you thought she didn't even like you at all. You guys didn't have anything special and you only hung out because of Jesse, you never talked, nor walked together or went out, when you thought about it really hard, you didn't even know if you really had an opinion on Ellie; she was just there.

Clearly, you were much more than you thought.

"Jesse, has Ellie told you anything?" You asked him, you guys were walking through Jackson, getting fresh air. "Uh.. Depends, like what?" He averted his gaze to the mountains in the distance. "She asked to see me.. like later.. at her place." You let out in disbelief. "I mean, I don't even think she LIKES me, Jesse, she never even spares a single glance at me unless absolutely necessary."

"Okay, well now, I don't think that's true" Jesse chuckled, rolling his eyes and paused in his tracks, bringing you to an abrupt stop as well. "She stares at you all the time, what the hell are you talking about?!" He laughs. "Jesse, no offense, but you're the LAST person I trust with this.. not even going to lie." You sighed. "Remember at the dance, you thought Dina'd dance with you, and just like that it was ELLIE she grabbed? Can you imagine the second hand embarrassment I felt? I had to leave." You joked. "Okay stop, I'm serious." He furrowed his brows. "In any case, she doesn't not like you, trust me, I see her looking at you all the time. You could ask any other person in Jackson and they'd tell you." He assured you.

"Whatever... Thanks." You smiled. "Anything for you" He winked jokingly. "When did she want you over? What'd she even say?" He suddenly brought up.

"Uh, I don't know, it was something like; 'Come over later, wear something nice, don't be late', type shit, it felt kinda rushed if I'm honest." You huffed.

"Weird, I haven't heard any special events round' town for tonight." He thought, watching the horizon absent mindidly. "Yeah.. Whatever she just said I had to be there at like, what? Maybe 7:30?" You tried to recall. "Well you might wanna get ready then, it's 6:00" he checked his watch. "Oh! Shit!" You gasped. "Ugh I had no idea.." You groaned. "Thanks Jesse, I'll update you tomorrow?" You tapped his shoulder, not giving him a chance to respond. "K, bye!"

You raced home, not too far from where you and Jesse had been and decided to get ready, you still weren't sure what the deal was, why suddenly your birthday mattered to her, or why you had to look nice; you just went along with it.

In the depths of your closet you found a black off the shoulder dress. You weren't aware why, or how long you had it. But regardless you slipped it on, it was slim, and fell just beneath your thighs, it assentuated your hips, it was soft, comfortable, you couldn't see yourself wearing anything else 'nicer' than that.

You slipped on your bracelets and a random silver chain necklace and tied your hair how you always did. And checked the time one more time.

‘ 7:00 ’, the clock read. You decided if you were going over, you might as well be a bit early. You left your home locking the doors and made your way to her place.

As you got closer, your heart began to pound. Anything was about to happen, good or bad, suddenly everything you thought about Ellie before had changed. You were repeating how you'd say hi to her, or how she'd react when you got there early, and suddenly that snow ball of thoughts stopped.

Ellies door. You didn't know whether you wanted to knock or just run back home. You breathed deapily, raising your hand to the door, you finally knocked a tune, like in those movies you'd watched with Dina and Jesse.. and Ellie.

Your heart began to race again, as you heard the door knob shake, you let out an equally as Shakey breath when the door opened to an oh so attractive Ellie Williams, standing— no towering over you, with her hooded green eyes and soft looking hair just barley covering her eye brow slit, you couldn't stop, just her muscular arms, and exposed collar bone, to her tattoo, that you had no backstory on what so ever, all you knew was just how she was so fucking hot right now.

"Hmmh.." she hummed. "you're early." Her voice was raspy. "Happy birthday, beautiful." She said taking a long sip from the moonshine bottle you hadn't even noticed she'd been holding the whole time.

Your face began to heat up, you suddenly felt very dizzy, "uh, thanks" you mumbled. She set the bottle of moonshine on what you assumed was a dresser next to the door. "Well? Are you coming inside or not?" She sarcastically said; as if she wasn't smack-dab in the center of the door way. She moved to the side allowing you to enter before closing the door quickly behind you.

It was a open concept type of thing, her bedroom was also her living room, her living room was her kitchen, on the contrary, it was still spacious, she had posters across the walls, her guitar by her couch, she had fairy lights hanging above her bed and a few video games by her TV at the foot of her bed on the right. "Sit where you'd like" she husked. "okay," you breathed, at this point you didn't know how to breathe at all and your words came out without any articulation.

You sat on the couch by the window, taking in the rest of her room, her decor, she sat beside you.

"So.." You started. "Uhm.. why'd you want me over..?" You trailed off and your eyes wandererd, too scared to look into her eyes in fear you'd freeze then and there. "I mean, I got all dressed up, and I don't see anything special" you joked, attempting to lift the awkwardness you casted upon yourself on your own. "Really?" She chuckled. "Yes, really" you rolled your eyes, "Who invites someone over telling them to dress up with no intention of putting in effort yourself?" You furrowed your brows at her "no cake, no decorations, what was the point?" You finally kept eye contact, counting the freckles across her cheeks like constellations, and taking in every hue in her eyes.

"What makes you think there was a point?" She grimaced before every so slightly shuffling towards you. Making your heart skip 2 beats in a second. "I don't know, you don't talk to me" your voice was low, "doesn't mean I don't wanna see you." She started. "With a pretty face like yours, who wouldn't wanna see you?" She whispered. The room began to feel warm. You couldn't think of or look at anything but Ellie, her lips, her neck, you couldn't unfocus yourself from her breath which smelled like alcohol, and yet you still wanted to kiss her more.

"You don't mean that" you lightly sighed out back, starting to feel the sweat form at your neck and forehead.

She shuffled closer to you, leaving you about 3 inches apart, her breath and body both warm. "I do" she smiled. Her arm had appeared at your side all of a sudden, you didn't even know how long it'd been there, and her words were starting to be engraved in your mind. "So what? What're you trying to say?" You raised your brow, trying to stay confident, but the space that was so quickly closing between you was making your heart beat faster and faster by each passing second. "I don't know, what do you think?" She whispered back to you, her smile never dropping; it was the prettiest, you found yourself longing for something to happen already, for her to kiss you? Maybe scootch closer to you? If that was even possible, you were an inch and a half apart, you needed her to lean in already, her strong moonshine scent coming from her small breaths, her body radiating so much heat was almost unreal. If you kept looking into her eyes any longer, you thought you'd get lost in them. "Ellie.." you huffed. You didn't know what to say, or do, you wanted to beg for her to finally do something.

She began to lean in closer, taking that as the green light and she only smiled brighter, you thought how could she be so hot and so cute at the same time? When did the tension become so high. " 'm gonna make you feel so good." She whispered before finally kissing you, so gently yet so roughly; like she'd been waiting for the moment she got to ruin you from inside and out, her lips were wet, and soft, her hands found there way up to your cheeks to cup them, every part of her was just so soft. You held onto her waist as you kissed back. Nothing filled the room but your desperate need for breath and your small whines, she bit on your bottom lip, causing you to spread them, taking the opportunity ever so quickly, she inserted her tongue, you began to moan into the kiss, her hands were roaming your body, feeling every single part of you, and all you could do was grip at her hips harder.

Your tongues danced around, sliding against eachother, if heaven were a person; you'd one the lottery, you were seeing stars, the gates of heaven themselves.

She'd started to pin you down, her knee centered between your legs causing the slightest ever contact, you felt so weak. "Shit.." you moaned, breaking the sloppy kiss. She left kisses around your lips, taking in every breath you took, her kisses started to be left from the corner of your lips to your neck, she nipped and sucked at it, every hickey she'd left was the vague image of almost a butterfly. "You're doing so good, princess" she grinned against your skin, the kisses tracing along your collar bone, "mmhn" you let out, her hands made there way up your dress, playing with your thigh and circling her thumb, out of all that'd been happening, it was the most comforting.

"Take it off" she demanded. "What?" You breathed. "Your dress, take it off" she commended again, you obeyed, you sat up slightly beginning to slide the dress off you put on not even more than an hour ago. "Fuck" she whispered. The last bit of ease you had was gone. You felt exposed.

Her kisses continued from your collar bone to your chest, "fuck you're so beautiful" she gasped against your sweaty hickey stained skin. Your hand played in her hair, roughly keeping her head in place as she left thousands more of wet kisses on your breasts. "Look who's talking" you winced at her hand cupping one of your boobs, her hand soft and gently playing with them. She smiled at your remark. She left another bruise against your skin once more, moving on to your stomach, she licked and traced kisses down your happy trail, "mmhn, god.." your whines and needy moans filled the room. "If you were any louder, Jackson'd here you" she teased, getting close to your clit, her hand was still rubbing circles up your inner thigh. Your pussy was throbbing in your own wetness, you hadn't even realized had stained your panties. "Wet already?" She smirked looking up at you, "who knew you were so turned on?" Her hooded eyes darkened. You swore you could see the amount of unresolved lust behind them now. "Who's not turned on by you?" You flirted back, spreading your legs more so she wouldn't have to ask. "You have no idea what you're doing" her voice was low, leaving kisses inside your thigh near your entrance. She was testing you.

Her kisses become long hard bites, leaving and sucking on the hickeys. "Ellie..." You whined. She looked up at you once more before grabbing the hem of your panties, sliding them off so slowly the throbbing only quickened, she had barley done anything to you and your climax wasn't far off. "I'm gonna ruin every last organ in your body" she seductively smiled.

She raised her hand towards your mouth, "suck" she said, her ring finger and middle finger near your mouth.

You agreed to her request, sucking on both, leaving a string of salvia around them. "Fuck" she groaned. Looking up at you still, "You're doing so good, babe." She whispered, she felt so weak, it almost made her angry. "Mm" you hummed still sucking down her fingers with your warm liquids. "Good" she smirked at you.

She lined her fingers up with your entrance. "You ready?" She looked to you with consent. "Mhm" you heaved.

She started rubbing your clit, her pace slow, "Ellie what the fuck, please—" you begged. "Desperate?" She smiled up at you, her pace increasing just the slightest bit, if she wasn't so slow you probably wouldn't have noticed the sudden quickness. "You listened" you said inbetween irregular breaths. "Maybe I shouldn't have" she teased again before rubbing her fingers faster.

She finally slid them in your entrance, swiftly, it caught you by surprise. "Shit!" You cried, the pleasure washing over the pain, you arched your back, trying to create more friction, somehow get her deeper inside you. "Shh, it's okay" she kissed your neck, your face, everywhere, calming you down so she could adjust her long slender fingers inside you. She kissed you one last time before moving her fingers in and out of you slowly. "You okay?" She asked concerningly, "yes, go— please" you begged, the tears pairing with the beads of sweat on your forehead. Her pace quickened, filling you to the max, "mmnh! God, Ellie, shit-" you cried again as she hit your g-spot so much it felt illegal how good she was at it. "You're doing so well" she kissed your shoulder as she pounded her fingers in and out of you much like how much your heart'd been pounding an hour ago. But much better, she scissored, and pumped her fingers in and out of you so fast, and hard, you could nearly see the end of the world. Every inch of you was trembling, your finishing near and her kisses sweet, it was so much better than a cake, or birthday presents.

"E-ellie, I'm close" you cried, your legs shaking and her fingers doing you so hard it was other worldly. "Don't" she said, suddenly pulling out. "What?" You gasped "Ellie please.." you pleaded. You needed it so bad. "Please just let me" you begged. "I'm not done, gorgeous. You think I'd let you finish without letting me eat you out?" She smirked.

"Shit" you whispered, "don't worry, I'll let you" she smiled "I just need you so bad" she started kissing you inner thigh once more, trailing up sloppy kisses until your clit again, giving the same treatment she'd did your bruised skin, she began to suck at your pussy, sucking it occasionally, her tongue circled, and ate at you, her saliva leaking from you. "God.. mmhn.." you whined as she licked and sucked faster, the circles she was leaving with her tongue turning just as lazy and needy as her wet kisses previously. "Fuck. You taste so good.." she whispered, eating you out like a full course buffay. "Ellie please" you trembled, you legs couldn't stay still, her tongue still licking your clit. "I'm so.." you trailed off catching your breath. "I'm so fucking close" you finished. You could feel it hitting your stomach so low. "Even better" she smirked, she began rubbing your pussy with her fingers as she ate you out, swirling her tongue over and over again, you were wet, and covered in sweat and hickeys.

"Ellie!—shit oh my— fuck of my god" you cried, cumming inside her mouth, "good girl" she said, swallowing every single last bit of it, "Ugh" you sighed. Catching the breath you'd missed the whole time.

"you did so good" she said, lifting her head from your pussy. "Ellie, shit." You breathed. "What'd you think I was trying to say?" She pinned her arms above you, looking down on you, she smiled at the mess she'd made. "Shut up" you sighed. "That's how you wanted to tell me?" You raised a brow, your hair completely undone. "Happy birthday" she joked. "Sorry" she apologized. "Did it work though?" She smirked. "Fuck yes" you smiled. "I'd do it all over again" you fluttered your lashes, grabbing her tatted arm, leaving a trail of kisses.

"Fuck"

___________________________________

Round 2 but REVERSED. Sorry it was so rushed this is not my best and it was so difficult I'm never writing smut again (I definitely will) sorry it sucked though😕✋

[project-sekai-facts]

Do you know/can you make a rough estimate on where the characters attended middle school? I know that Kamiyama has a middle school but I can’t figure out/find any in game evidence that suggests characters like Mizuki and Rui having gone to said middle school. The one thing I can infer is that since Kamiyama seems to be the school for people with lower socioeconomic backgrounds, and both An and Akito are implied to come from not so wealthy families/backgrounds that they’d probably go to Kami middle school, but that’s about it

Okay so a lot of the middle schools that characters attended go unnamed except for Miyamasuzaka and Kamiyama and none of the uniforms have any identifiable school logos or anything so some characters might've attended the same school and we just don't know. Anyway

Mizuki and Rui both attended a middle school near Kamiyama (i think that's kamikou in the background). This is brought up in multiple events/card stories/area conversations but the KAMIKOU FESTIVAL! event story has 2 flashback chapters detailing how they met and the year that they were friends. We only know what the boy's uniform looks like, but none of the girls who have middle school L2D's match the color scheme, so it's safe to say just Mizuki and Rui attended this one.

All of Leo/need and Mafuyu went to Miyamasuzaka's middle school. Again this is something that's brought up quite a few times, with Leo/need especially. Saki was in hospital for the vast majority of middle school so didn't really attend. The uniform is just the normal Miyajou uniform but with a blue tie instead of red. It's likely that Shizuku attended here too.

Airi and Ena attended the same middle school. We don't have a name for it but Ena has a Live2D model with her in uniform. It's likely that Akito attended this school too.

Haruka and An attended school together up until high school. Haruka mentions in Run! Sports Festival! that the last time she took part in a school event was 5th grade, which is during elementary so she probably wasn't in school a whole lot during middle school. Anyway, even though we have a middle school An Live2D, she isn't wearing her uniform so we don't know where she went to school other than that it wasn't Kami or Miya.

We have middle school Live2D models for Kanade, Tsukasa and Nene, but again we don't know what schools they attended. It's possible that Tsukasa is wearing the boy's uniform for Kanade or Nene's school (or Ena & Airi's school) but because no names are mentioned, we can't tell.

Also it can be assumed that Toya went to private school (it's mentioned that his parents wanted to send him to a prep school for high school, so the same is likely for middle school) but I don't recall it ever being confirmed.

We don't know where Akito went to middle school. He's known An since he was middle school-aged but that was through WEEKEND GARAGE and it's never mentioned that they went to the same school. It's likely he went to the same school as Ena.

We also don't know where Minori and Kohane went to middle school but we know they probably didn't attend the same one since they didn't meet until high school. Nor do we know where Emu or Shizuku went to middle school, for the latter it was probably Miyajo middle school.

[sonkitty]

The Sideburns Scheme Post #77

(For reference: The Sideburns Scheme)

Crowley, Good Omens 2, Episode 5, The Ball, wrong

...

Sideburns Check

The sideburns are still long and the same length as when Crowley spoke to Maggie. They are not the longest-length that happens around Gabriel when humans aren't around.

This scene puts Crowley close to his own car that's helping this supernatural zone take shape. There is now more fog and fewer humans shown to be passing in the street. In fact, there is at least one demon shown to the camera's right when Crowley says the name of the coffee shop. Otherwise, the few humans around are understood to be walking and passing through the area.

There is likely a second demon standing in the street and facing the bookshop as Nina enters since I think Nina is supposed to be the next-to-last human to enter the ball.

...

Brighter Red Streak Check

The more saturated red streak of hair is at its most noticeable point in the story, in my opinion, in this scene. It is strongest when Crowley is telling Nina, with urgency, to get to the meeting.

That's also when Nina shifts from finding Crowley weird and mildly irritating in that moment to finding his demeanor scary.

...

Hairstyle Changes

The curl in the front and top is taller and more centered, creating a pocket of hair in the process, at least for the earlier part of the scene. The more saturated red streak of hair is more vibrant. I'm not sure its ever stronger in the whole season.

...

Earthly Objects

(For reference: Earthly Objects)

Crowley says the name of the coffee shop and with the word "name" as a hint that's the point he wants to earn. That's point #1.

Nina has a question for asking Crowley what he wants. That's point #2.

She has a self-touch, like Maggie did. She actually uses both arms, but it's her left hand that is visibly placed on her waist and makes a pocket. Interestingly, that's the opposite hand Maggie used.

After that, Nina at least says the name, "Lindsay," and has a self-mouth touch for 2 points. Crowley also has a self-mouth touch in the cut where the two of them are last seen together for point #3.

...

Time to pay attention to the pockets.

The Tied Hands do not retie.

The Belt Head might get an Overhead Light when Crowley points to the bookshop and says, "Just to remind you about the..." If so, it's presumably helped along by the self-made pocket of hair, especially since it's only the top part of the Belt Head that is visible.

There is a human wearing white who visually walks behind Crowley, but the way Crowley's ears and lights line up over the course of the scene still don't amount to an Overhead Light for his actual head, as best I can tell. That's because the lights are to Crowley's right. He doesn't do anything to properly switch them from how I've played other scenes. Crowley does at least get the flames of the coffee shop wall above, behind, and to the left of his left ear. That's most clearly shown during and after he convinces Nina to go to the bookshop.

While Crowley has been known to frequently have self-made pockets, the main two I can find is the one he makes with his hair and another little self-made pocket he makes with his legs and the lower interior window frame of his car.

...

Story Commentary

The fog is still setting in. There are still a few humans.

Crowley senses something is wrong. As he mentions that to Nina, he adds that lots of things are wrong right now, but right now, this wrong he senses is coming in waves, like a hangover.

To our knowledge as the audience, this wrongness is probably the demons arriving, possibly with a "creeping sense of unease."

Crowley's actions up to this point have indicated he anticipates their arrival, at least on a layered level. He's not touching any earthly objects here, just as he wasn't touching any when Nina questioned him earlier about his relationship with Aziraphale.

Since Crowley mentions a hangover, it's worth recalling that he did drink wine earlier and is using a substantial amount of power in making this shift into a supernatural zone happen.

When he says a lot of things are wrong, he could be referring to his more layered awareness within the games.

This moment also shows what I meant that Crowley and Aziraphale aren't really asking the humans to attend. Whatever it takes to get the invited human to the ball? It's going to be done. In this case, Crowley shows a sense of urgency that's strong enough for Nina to abide by him flat out telling her to go. She gets scared of him.

Honestly, she might not have even been able to leave since she accepted the invitation on camera in Crowley's presence with his touches happening, and the supernatural zone is already taking shape. Crowley both escorts and dismisses other humans from the space later, as a way to allow them to leave.

...

Nina

Something very interesting in the Earthly Objects game happens.

I am very unsure of the below, but here is my current play in trying to understand this scene within Earthly Objects as a game.

When Nina arrives, she touches a threshold. More specifically, she has four left hand fingers on the door. The middle finger touches the push plate. The index, ring, and fingertips touch the door panel though the ring finger is aligned just below the edge of the push plate. As she continues to enter, her right arm is shown to be crossed under her left arm. Her left thumb eventually appears and is shown to not be touching the door.

Her left hand lets go of the door, and her body obscures the touch her right hand still has on the door. She says, "I'm going mad."

Now let's take a look at how Crowley touches this same threshold later in episode 6 as the Single of The Pocket Trick. I won't cover everything about it because it's a lot.

For starters, he has a visible pocket touch with his right hand that has four fingers in the pocket with the thumb outside the pocket. Crowley also places four left hand fingers on the door. For him, it's the index finger instead of the middle finger that touches the push plate. Both the index finger and middle finger are touching each other at the lower edge of the push plate. The middle, ring, and pinky fingertips are on the door panel. As Crowley continues to enter, his right arm is shown to be crossed under his left arm. He's using his Pocket Chain with the car window behind him for the touch, especially with the thumb and its shadow on the astragal. The cut itself does not show the door actually closing. He is still touching the door by the end of the cut.

He had his mouth open but no dialogue during the touch.

Other humans have touched doors during Good Omens 2. I haven't tracked every touch, and I don't have it in me to go back and check them as I draft this post because it won't change my point about what follows from Nina's touch.

For whatever reason, in this instance here, Nina's threshold touch is treated like a mistake that must be corrected. It's like the game wants to overcompensate.

Here is my current breakdown of trying to understand what happened.

Nina's touch cannot count as an earthly object touch because three fingertips on the door panel is a threshold-only touch. But it's not a Threshold Trick or part of one. It's something she did in a heated moment of fear. Crowley's threshold touches are very particular about how they are done.

Nina says, "I'm going mad," for point #1. The game treats statements like this one, a statement of place, as a "Hello."

But, instead of having Nina go into an interaction set, she'll get her own points #2 and #3 later, as dialogue points, because the other characters she encounters are earning 3 points in one collective duo set and 3 solo sets. All of these characters will be touching earthly objects.

Mutt is holding a glass of champagne and a book as he says Nina's name. That's point #1 for the book and #2 for the name. He's not talking to Nina. He's talking to his spouse because his sentence began, "Why, my dear, it is Nina..." His spouse has a line of dialogue toward Nina while also holding a glass of champagne. That's point #3. I'm guessing Mutt's touch on the book for counts for him to make it different from the touch his spouse earns.

Nina doesn't respond verbally to them.

Justine is holding a glass of champagne and has a self-touch with her left hand for point #1. Her self-touch probably counts to make what she touches being herself instead of the glass of champagne. That way, it's, again, different from what Mutt's spouse was touching. Justine says, "bonsoir" as a "Hello" equivalent for point #2 with a question about it being a fine night for dancing, no? for point #3.

Nina finally earns her own second two points with the name "Justine" as point #2 and the question, "Justine, what's going on?" for point #3.

Mr. Arnold has a touch on the piano for point #1 and sitting on a stool for point #2. He says Nina's name for point #3.

Gabriel is holding a tray for point #1. He says "Hello" for point #2. He asks a question about Nina trying one of the tiny little dinners for point #3.

That's 15 points total.

It mostly seems to end here since Aziraphale shows up shortly, and he and Nina proceed into at least one standard interaction set with him touching a bookcase for point #1, saying Nina's name for point #2, and Nina asking why she doesn't feel upset for point #3.

After that, I can't figure out any remaining sets for the scene. Mr. Brown earns at least two points with "Excellent eventide to you, Mistress Nina," as a Hello and a name. Since his hands aren't shown, I don't know if his newspaper touch counts. I would think so otherwise since he wasn't holding it earlier when he entered the bookshop.

...

As for why the human guests are talking weird, I go with the general theory of it being Aziraphale's influence on the space with his wish to have this ball happen this way. His power is influencing the humans. Aziraphale wants the humans safe from the demon invasion, but he also wants to dance with Crowley and celebrate their connection.

...

That's it for this post. Sometimes I edit my posts, FYI.

...

Main post:

The Sideburns Scheme

[moonspirit]

hi! I hope you’re doing great today ☺️ I wanted to ask you one thing

how do you think Annie got her ring? was it her idea so that she would not have to bite herself? and if so, what does it say about her personality?

Hello! I hope your day is going well too :3

Interesting question tho. I don't think anything about Annie's ring was ever mentioned in the manga beyond the obvious reference to its purpose. Please correct me if I'm wrong tho, my memory these days is WELP xD

However, assuming I am right, this is where I have to say that I like picking tidbits of information from other published sources to expand upon lore, as long as it doesn't straight up contradict canon information.

So, I'll dive into Lost Girls for a bit.

I recall a chapter in it where Mikasa confronts Annie over her ring that she found in the training grounds (we already know that Annie doesn't wear her ring all the time, only putting it on when she's likely to use it, and Lost Girls maintains this). Annie's response to this is that it was an item given to her by her "parents" before she left home, and that it's important to her. Mikasa then asks her something like, "Why are you here, in the military?" And follows it up with, "It doesn't look to me like you're here to secure a place in the inner districts, rather, you're doing it because you have to." Annie then explains that the ring is what gives her purpose, and that's good enough a reason.

From this I've always assumed that the ring wasn't a thing Annie made or bought herself - it was given to her by her father, probably once she was seen by the Marleyan military as a definite successor to the Female Titan.

Now where did the ring itself come from?

Since we aren't told much about Mr.Leonhardt either except for the fact that he was shipped off to Liberio for his half eldian blood, his background remains murky. But I remember reading a reddit post years and years ago about how the pointy blade on Annie's ring was a bit similar to real life poison rings that were used in the middle ages by nobility. These rings were used to poison enemies as well as to facilitate suicide in case of capture. Sound a bit familiar? Anyway, somehow I ended up imagining that Mr.Leonhardt came into possession of a similar such ring with a blade as a part of a loot of stolen goods before he arrived at Liberio, and that has been fact in my head haha xD

So while I've just taken Annie's words (about being given the ring by her dad) at face value and accepted them, it is also highly interesting to explore the possibility that Annie bought it herself. Why? Let's see:

Whichever take you go with, the ring is very symbolic. The choice of using the ring to transform instead of a bite or cut, is very much reflective of what Annie was taught: to be quick, powerful and lethal. With a ring you attract less attention, and the cut will be smaller and therefore easier to hide as it heals. It can assist in situations where the hands and mouth are bound and gagged. It can also act as a psychological trigger: putting it on means you have a mission to complete and see through, no matter what; aka, you mean serious business.

So to put it simply: Annie getting the ring for herself would basically speak about her tactical mind and quick problem solving abilities, leaning towards methods most efficient and able to get the job done with minimum effort - the ring achieves exactly that.

On the other hand, Annie getting the ring as a "gift" from her father would speak to narrative symbolism. The reason I personally like this more than the first one is because Annie calls the ring "important to her", and perhaps that is because the ring is her one, single tangible link between her and father (in the Lost Girls chapter, she pats her left breast pocket to check for it), and as such, it's very precious. This brings out Annie's softer side that yearns and longs for affection and love.

Anyway xD Long ass reply, but I hope that satisfies you!

[tj-dragonblade]

Fanfic Tag Game

Tagged by @softest-punk and @landwriter, thank you both!

1. How many fics do you have on AO3? 133

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? I will break 400K with the next thing I post (unless it is somehow less than 401 words lol) Also, this would require actually focusing on something to finish it

3. What fandoms do you write for? Currently? Sandman (technically, Dreamling). Previously? MCU, Naruto, Saiyuki, and Gundam Wing

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? Overall (these are from my Naruto days and more than ten years old): Delayed (or, Why Kakashi Is Never On Time) (GaiKaka) at 3963 Past the Limits (KakaNaru) at 1272 Affirmation (KakaNaru) at 1022 Worth It (KakaIru) at 1005 Vigil (GaaNaru) at 843 (It kills me that I am Just Not That Into Kakashi and yet he's fucked his way into four of my top five, lol)Current fandom tops, just for fun (all of which are at most a year-plus-change in age) Use Your Words at 443 Insatiable at 398 Fluffbruary Fills (2023) at 375 In the Morning Light at 318 Built For You at 308

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes, generally! I am still catching up on Fluffbruary comments, much to my chagrin

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Going aaaallllll the way back to Gundam Wing, I did a songfic where I implied a breakup until the final-line reveal that the character had gasp actually died. There may be a couple other angst-based pieces in my catalog, but that I think is the Most(tm).

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Most everything I write is a happy ending, when there's any semblance of plot involved. Uh. The Umbrella Boys AU had a wedding; maybe that counts? Either that or the Thessaly breakup fic with all the hurt-comfort pining that finally resolves into requited realization.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Never have, would like to keep it that way.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? The good kind *eyebrow waggle*

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I have…three, that could be counted as crossovers, and one that's a proper fusion. None of them are particularly crazy. Duo and Wufei did Naruto roleplay in the bedroom. Kakashi and Naruto took on Princess Bride's fire swamp. Gojyo and Hakkai acquired Jiipu from Count D and his pet shop with a complete disregard for the fourth wall. Maybe that one, then, though it's more crack than crazy-crossover. Hob wearing the Wavemother's Robe is not enough of anything to count as a crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of, no

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! I don't recall which ones but I've had requests to translate to Chinese, to Russian, and I think Spanish as well? Possibly French also. My memory is shit. Je suis désolé.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic? Yeah, a friend and I co-wrote a couple back in GW and it was…fun? At the time? It started as me helping her with the smut portion of a thing she was doing and turned into a cowrite with a sequel. Not the sort of thing I'd have written on my own, and definitely not now twenty years later with my current kink preferences

14. What’s your all time favourite ship? …yeah, that's not a thing I can answer. Whichever I'm fixated on is inevitably my favorite at the time but once the fixation fades, I still have so much love for each of them.

15. What’s a fic you’d like to finish but don’t think you ever will? Oh my god there are so many. But there are two-three unfinished drafts for ThorBruce fic that I really—see, my MCU fandom experience soured so fast I did not have my usual three-year run of productive ficwriting and the ideas I was working on probably could have been finished were that not the case. I would still love to finish them but the motivation (let alone the time) is just not there.

16. What are your writing strengths? I take great pride in my smut, and I like to think I'm good at it. Painting pictures with my words? Maybe character voice, in certain cases.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Plot. Stories with plot and progression and chapters and such. Follow-through to finish pieces that don't get done in the initial burst of focus.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic? If I had a need for it at some point, I would want to consult a native speaker to ensure correct translation and I would include the translation in footnotes etc. But it would have to be some really specific reason that the foreign language was needed/integral to some story device to not just indicate via some other means (e.g., '"xyz," he said, in perfect French', use of italics, etc) that a different language is in use.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Gundam Wing. If we don't count the 'DS9 novel idea' that I recall making notes on in my journal back in high school, or any of the Mary Sue DS9 thoughts I would also journal about. None of that was ever 'actual writing' nor did I have anywhere I would have shared it in '96.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Again. How'm I supposed to pick? Ugh. Let's see, fandom by fandom. Gundam Wing…no, nothing there is a favorite. Saiyuki…When the Chips Are Down. Comedy gen-fic based on a tidbit of fandom lore is not something I manage terribly often but I am quite pleased with this one; Jiipu's pov always delights me and I'm proud of all the voice work here also. Naruto…maybe Seized? Sai POV is one of my strengths and I think it came through really well in that one. MCU…Carpe Diem, I'm very pleased with character voices in that one. Sandman…I remain very fond of the Drunken Confessions Fluffbruary 2023 fic and the Car and Cutoffs one might be my favorite smutfic. So far.

If you'd like to do this, please take my passive tag this has been sitting in my drafts for weeks.

[aladaylessecondblog]

Faal Hah Wuld but omegaverse

Author's Note: I can't just do the entire fic like this so I'm skipping over a lot. This goes up until just after the Bleak Falls Barrow bite

P.S.: Ok I wrote it, brain, can I PLEASE write something else now???

---------------------------

Traveling with Torovan had set an itch beneath Sadrith's skin, but she'd kept putting it off as annoyance. The man was arrogant beyond measure, and looked down on her for her skill in thievery and stealth. Yet...

Yet the snobbish alpha had a certain...well, she wasn't sure what to call it. Appeal? It mystified her to think of him as anything less than an uppity old mer who thought little of her. The strangest part was she felt the strength of that appeal more in the evening--and the only common denominator she could find to go along with that was her morning skooma dose finally wearing off. It only made her more eager to take the next morning dose, to ward off these thoughts and feelings that didn't make any sense.

The sight of his torso when they spent the evening in Blackreach had been...interesting. She was used to overfocusing on things, they'd just take hold of her mind and not let go for a while, but that interest, it had persisted. She told herself it was fine, it had only been a few days - it would pass. It always did.

But it was his scent that really seemed to hit her. Something of spice and musk, scents she wouldn't normally like but coming from Torovan they seemed almost...alluring. She wanted to plant herself in his robe just to get more of it, cover herself in it. But as with so many other strange habits and intrusive thoughts she brushed it off, even if it was more difficult with this. Her mind did strange things all the time, after all.

She vaguely recalled hearing something about an alpha's scent affecting others in different ways, though she couldn't remember too many details. Other alphas might be angered, betas didn't seem to be affected much at all, but omegas...

...well, she wasn't one, she knew that much. You had to present before anything could really happen, or at least that's what she'd been told. And she'd never presented. There were scent glands on her neck but if they produced anything none of the handful of lovers she'd had had ever said much about it.

Save, of course, a single exception--she'd flirted with Marcurio, that imperial mage for hire down in Riften. He'd mentioned her scent was off-putting, a vague 'earthy mint'. But thankfully, it was faint, and that hadn't stopped her enjoying his company.

All in all things had stayed relatively normal until they'd hit Bleak Falls Barrow. Torovan's blood bottles had broken, and (definitely recklessly) feeling curious about what it felt like to be bitten, fed from, Sadrith had offered her own neck.

"Are you SURE?" he asked.

"I've already eaten, I'm tired from the walking...it'll probably put me right to sleep. Go ahead, take my blood."

She'd taken her spot on her bedroll, and waited. Torovan had knelt beside her, leaned over, and for a moment she luxuriated in a deep inhale of his scent.

"You're too trusting," he said as he leaned down, "You know that can get you killed, don't you?"

"If you were going to kill me you'd have done it already."

A brief brush of his fangs against her neck. A slight tenseness, and then--eagerness? Where had that come from?

Sadrith's entire body jolted when the fangs pierced her neck, though - and what followed was an absolutely divine spasm of pleasure. She only barely stopped herself crying out, but still a stifled moan passed her lips.

Torovan seemed unaware of all this--he was hungry, after all, and her blood was the main point. There was a sudden growl, and she stayed limp to make it easier for him to feed. He guzzled it, like he hadn't tasted blood in weeks, like--

--suddenly his tongue swiped upwards, and he jolted back, away from her. Somewhat dizzied, Sadrith reached up to heal the wound, confused as to why even stroking over the bloodied spot gave off the pleasurable tingle that it did.

"Why didn't you TELL ME?" Torovan suddenly burst out, wiping away the few drops of blood still on his lips.

"Tell you what?" Sadrith swayed a little as she sat up, and found herself pushed back down. Puzzlingly, Torovan brought the pillow from his bedroll over and slipped it beneath the one of her own. "I don't understand."

"That you were an omega. Did you think you were clever, hiding it?"

"Clever--what--no! I wasn't lying when I said I'd never presented. I've never shown any signs of any of..."

She actually felt insulted. Another thing to puzzle over was the anger in that eye of his she could see. He was furious with her, and the thought had never really bothered her before. ...so why did it now?

Unless...

"Oh, no..." Again she sat up, and as Torovan was on the point of getting up she reached for him. "I'm sorry, I didn't--I really didn't know."

Her hand caught the sleeve of his robe but he yanked it quickly away.

Sadrith felt a stab of pain in her chest and hated it instantly. It felt like the sort she got when panic came on her suddenly, and what she supposed must be the oft-talked-about bond would've told her what she needed to know if she'd been too dim to figure it out from his reaction.

He doesn't want this.

She barely knew him but that feeling was inexpressibly painful, and she resented it just for existing. Great - just what she needed, more thoughts and feelings she couldn't control! She didn't want it either - or at least thought she didn't. There was a craving for his company she couldn't simply shove off.

The sight of Torovan's slowly retreating back had a cold feeling creeping up once the pain receded.

Sadrith turned away, and curled up to the pillows. The scent of him was on it at least, and that seemed to calm the sudden drop in her mood a bit - but not by all that much.

Your mate does not want you.

She tossed and turned a bit. Of course. Of COURSE, with all the shit that had been flung at her since coming to Skyrim, of course there'd be added an accidental claiming from someone who didn't want her anyway.

The thoughts of him as a mate were just her mind playing tricks on her like it did with everything else. This was just from the bite. It was nothing. Fated mates didn't just happen anymore.

Your mate does not want you.

Everything would be FINE. She'd just have to get him down to Riften and back to Winterhold and then--

Sleep was slow to come, but it did finally come to send her into a dreamless oblivion.

When they woke they did their best to ignore one another. He barely looked at her, didn't speak to her, and once they were ready for the day headed for the barrow's door without a word.

As she walked Sadrith hunted through her bags for a scarf, and placed it carefully around her neck.

If he was going to reject her, she was going to hide that the bite had ever happened.

As she (surreptitiously) took her morning dose of skooma she reiterated it.

Everything would be FINE.

[bluefirevixon]

A Strange Dream

I wasn't sure if I was going to make a post about a dream with characters from Monkey Wrench I had, but after some time thinking, I've decided to post about it anyways. I can't remember all of the details in this said dream, and some random shit that will be confusing to say the least, but I'll try to explain it as best as I can.

Proofreading is not my strong point, so I apologise if there's any errors that I've overlooked.

A few nights ago, I have this dream where Shrike and Beebs were driving a ship (which I thought it was the bucket at first), they received a signal/call from Scritch, of course they are confused but Scritch shushed them with his finger to his own mouth, follow by turn the camera towards Scratch who is curled in his sleep and purring. Beebs (been the sensitive type of Walrinian that he is) couldn't resist saying "aww" of how cute that looks, but quietly so he wouldn't wake Scratch up. Shrike having a mean idea of trying to take an opportunity to just yell/scream to give Scratch a bad wake up call, but Beebs quickly stopped him and asked Scritch why did he call them.

Scritch explains (via text/message) about Scratch's birthday coming up, and needed help to get something for him. Me (as a viewer as if it was another episode of Monkey Wrench) was moved and was like "awww, I knew it, he does care for/love his brother deep down, in spite Scratch been a pain in the ass". While the discussion between Scritch, Shrike, and Beebs was going on, so I can't remember what they said/written. But I do recall that eventually they except in taking the request, much to Shrike's displeasure/objection. And for the first confusing part of the dream, for some reason Shrike was leaning against on something not only grey and fuzzy, but alive which was somewhat sticking out of a circle like hole at the wall bit of the ship. Poor shrike was thrown into confusion when it moved and make an animal/squeaky like noises. He wasn't the only one as I was wondering if that's even the bucket at this point.

Ok, now here's another one of the confusing part about this dream, in the next part of my dream, I saw Ricket by himself as if he were separated and is looking for Tyneen, and the crew. But while searching for them, he's wearing a Egyptian Turkish Desert/Turban combo like hat, but in really shitty yellow colour. The first thing pops to mind was "Why is Ricket wearing a hat?, wouldn't the hat burn?, doesn't he need to keep his flame lit at all times?" kind of questions.

I don't remember how, but Ricket eventually found Tyneen and gave her a ring with a purplish/redish? colour on the gems, one that is bigger than the other gems on it. And no, it's not an engagement ring as she mentioned about the ring having some sort of powers on it. Now here's another confusing bit, as she puts it on her index finger on her non metal hand, I've noticed that she have an extra digit on that said hand, which led to me thinking "wait, 'three' fingers and a thumb?, but doesn't Tyneen have two fingers and a thumb though?".

I don't remember what Tyneen was talking about, nor what Ricket says as he have a few words to say, but what I do remember that near the end of the dream, Shrike and Beebs was just about to complete the request on getting the item for Scritch to give to Scracth for his birthday. But at the last minute, they see Scritch and call to him that they got the item. And the last confusing bit of the dream is before Scritch takes the item from them, he looked like he was in a hush in a panicky way, and instead of paying the duo the money as pixels, he gave them note like money and take the item with him which got me confused and had me saying "what the fuck?". While Beebs were at a loss as they never sae that kind of money before and Shrike is more annoyed than anything.

And then I woke up, I thought that it was a strange/bizarre dream, and yet I was amused considered that it was the first Monkey Wrench related I ever dreamt.

[supervisormeero]

hello hello! idk if you remember but someone else sent an ask abt dedra’s romantic past (or lack thereof lol) and u said that if anything syril has more prior ‘experience’ in that area than her; i was curious if you had any headcanons pertaining to that?

i read a fic once where syril was going to meet dedra and used cologne that a former boyfriend bought for him and i loved that little detail so much; to me, he’s the type of person that would keep those things after a breakup instead of getting rid of them; it would be a point of pride that someone loved him enough to get him gifts so he’d still be using them

Hello hello! Thank you for asking me about this, and I'm sorry I wrote so much — I love theorizing about my silly Imperial weirdos and their strange, sad pasts. (I also need you to tell me what fic that was, because I thought I'd read everything, but I'm not recalling a fic where Syril wears a former boyfriend's cologne. I'm desperate for new reading material. Please.)

I got the basic frame of the idea about Syril having some experience from Kyle Soller. In at least one interview, he's said Syril's never been in love before, but he's "had experiences like that." Kyle goes on to mention in that interview that Syril's probably kept himself away from "that" — love — because he's always been so focused on being the best he can be for the Empire. Which, fair. That's certainly how he comes across on the show, although I'd argue he probably turned some heads at Pre-Mor. I mean, come on. He looks like that. I'd also argue "keeping himself away from that" would not preclude a very occasional one-night stand, which is where he might have more experience than Dedra, who according to Denise has never been touched. Yikes.

But even if he's never been with anyone (which would just make him and Dedra even brighter twin flames, I—) he, at the very least, has had "experiences like that." So, maybe he started to fall for someone and pulled himself back, reined himself in, told himself to put the Empire and his ambitions above everything and anything else because he is determined to remain in constant motion up the ladder. In his mind love could slow, if not halt, his progress. I think that'd be in character for him. But he, at least, has had emotions. He's started to fall, only to shake his head, right himself, and stiffly walk away. Dedra, on the other hand... I doubt she's ever even approached the cliff. Her personal life is an Antarctic tundra. Her past, in my opinion, has been so fraught and damaging and painful that she's likely never been told, platonically or romantically, that she's loved.

So, that leads me to Syril and Dedra, and Syril's fixation with Dedra, and why her after all this time. It's no secret that Syril's a mess, and he feels everything deeply — his need to follow the rules, his need to serve the Empire and advance in his career, and, of course, his obsession with Dedra. I think he allows himself to be obsessed with or to fall for her because she's not a random co-worker, or an acquaintance, or a stranger on the street. She's everything he wants, on almost every conceivable level. She's an idol in a white tunic, a dream made real. If he's always been so focused on being the best he can be for the Empire, she's perfectly aligned with that, so there's no need to keep himself away. To be honest, I don't think he even knows that he's in love, although he might get there in Season 2. In Season 1, I think he knows that she's a beacon of hope, so he's basking in her light, and through basking in her light he's basking in the light of the Empire. After all, he risked his life to save her in Ferrix... but in doing so, he saved a piece of the Empire.

On the subject of Syril in an actual relationship, I absolutely see him as the kind of person to keep mementos like cologne, or a shirt, or gifts he couldn't bring himself to throw away after a breakup. I think you're right; he'd treasure any memory of being genuinely loved, because I don't believe he has many of them. I don't think he'd handle rejection or perceived betrayal well because of what happened with his father, but I also think whatever's in his private box has to do with his father, so. Even when his heart is broken, I don't think he ever quite banishes that person from its every corner. Or I suppose it could be a vanity thing: I made this person love me, and I have evidence to prove it. I do think he's vain. But when the cologne runs out, I think he'd feel empty inside — and a few of his brightly colored memories would turn grayscale. That's why it's easiest to love the Empire: the Empire has never hurt him. The Empire believes in him, and he believes in it. In my opinion, regardless of how he feels about Dedra, the Empire will always be his truest, deepest, and most faithful love.

[arbitrary-avi]

across the stream

imagine something with me for a moment; let us both transcend the thinker and instead, for a short while, become the dreamer. pardon the change in my writing style for a moment, it will make sense.

The eyes that you give to the ones you love are something else, no? Your full attention, your dedication, your voice reduced to a shy sibilance as you are enveloped in their unabated passion for you.

I remember a moment in particular where I felt the most as though I was dreaming with another.

It was November. A cold night, some special event going on that me and my darling were attending. We had both been dressed up, me in a suit and her in a dress; that dress flowing beautifully and amazingly on her, so much so I can still recall it. Red.

The event had concluded. Or, more accurately, we had decided to leave earlier due to neither of us being the extroverted type. When we left the building, we were met by the pavement below and a lightly speckled sky above that stretched for what seemed like forever—the moon only partially covered by grey clouds that signified one thing and one thing only: rain.

While many others that were stood outside took to umbrellas or to cover to shield their expensive wear from the downpour, she had other plans.

Her brown eyes glimmered in the dim moonlight, the rain appearing to sparkle as it landed around her. It was as if the storm calmed in her presence, if only for a moment. She took my hand and we ran off giggling to a more secluded area where it was just us and the rain.

She looked into my eyes and spoke to me.

"I've always wanted to dance in the rain."

I chuckled, joyful and in love with this woman. Without another word, I took her hand and we began to dance with no rhythm, no pattern, no anything.

The light layer of water beneath us rippled with the lightness of a feather from our footsteps; the reflection of the moon created such an overwhelming serenity that still, to this day, I have been unable to recreate or come close to recreating it.

The rain twirled with us as our lack of rhythm slowly shifted into a slow dance—the soft droplets running down our clothing like liquid gold, shining, sparkling, glinting as our faces grew closer and closer together.

The slow dance, as quickly as it began, slowed to a crawl—and then, finally, to a stop.

We stared into each other's eyes for only a few seconds, but to me? if I ever were to experience a warm eternity—it would be that. Those few moments we looked deep into each other. It was more than a simple stare, no, it was so much more. Not only did we share our gaze, we shared the deepest parts of us. Our souls touched in that very instant, a harmonious chorus of an amaranthine warmth that beckoned the gods above and below—something so strong that, despite all of the pains both of us had felt for so long, had the angels above crying in joy.

And it all surmounted to the one pinnacle:

"I love you," I said, my eyes sparkling with an overwhelming love for this lovely, lovely girl.

And then, what followed. A deep, thoughtful kiss that rattled the very earth—our lips touched, such a soft feeling yet with the power of a thousand suns all in one. A supernova of love. A love so deep, it almost lasted.

Almost.

————

agh, i apologize for all the gushiness. but we find ourselves loving those who broke us, don't we? well, i think we should not forget: there is a difference between loving the person and loving what you did together with said person. i struggle with both, but i've gotten better.

still, sometimes i think of her. it's been a year, and she was so much to me. but it's okay! it always is in the end, i believe.

i know this isn't like my usual posts but ,,, i just felt like i had to get it out

"But you're everything to me You deepen the red of my blood"

— "as deep as time allows," crywolf

don't forget to love yourself just as much as you loved them.

— avi

[kyogre-blue]

More details I want to note down for RDCH.

1. We still haven't seen Kali/Kalli/Carly in the story, but we get a few panels showing her. She has a surprisingly cutesy face. (Does this mean that if Lee Geon got genderswapped for some reason, he'd be a surprisingly petite and cute woman?) One of those flashes is from Yooha pov in DC. The way the translation renders her thought bubbles before and after makes no reference to "Kalli" at all, but it might be the case that there was some confusion about pronoun genders in there. Anyway, curious what was going on there.

2. The timeline after Blood Fog was that Hugo had time to investigate and find Libra's involvement, stormed in to confront her, and then she went to the hospital to screw with Yooha. That makes it seem like at least some time passed after the whole incident, but the kids were still sleeping over at the hospital. Was it that they refused to leave their mom, or was Hugo hoping that Scorpio's protections on the hospital would be safer for them?

3. Speaking of that flashback, Giselle has a couple panels where she imagines Hugo as her follower, complete with a fancy military uniform, which... looks good, sure, but it is so different from anything Hugo ever chooses to wear. The most he manages is an extremely basic suit for public appearances, and the rest of the time he either dresses in very plain combat clothing or in super casual jeans and t-shirts. In fact, if you imagine that Lee Geon never bothered buying himself new clothes, then he's just been wearing stuff Hugo gave him. The only thing to suggest they're not sharing clothes is that Lee Geon wears shorts a couple times and Hugo never does. (I still remember them sharing that teddy bear apron lol)

4. Giselle suggests that Hugo refusing to join her comes down to him still holding a torch for Lee Geon, which seems to be the general impression everyone has. It's.... not necessarily wrong, but it feels a bit of a weird assumption. Yeah, when Lee Geon is around, Hugo basically follows his orders, but he's not his subordinate in any official capacity, and when Lee Geon isn't around, Hugo makes his own choices in a completely normal way. Like, I would assume he just has very understandable ideological objections to the other Saints, or even just assume pride. So did Hugo do something that made everyone think of him as Lee Geon's slave loyal subordinate, or are they all just terminally Geon-brained and projecting?

5. Giselle wants Hugo. Steven wants Hugo. I don't recall now whether Kevin tried to recruit Hugo, but at minimum he is very tsuntsun toward him but then coordinates with him very smoothly. And in the novel, Sophie is apparently quite taken with him. So at this point I feel like the Saints can be split into two categories: the ones that want to fuck Lee Geon and the ones that want to steal his man. And Aries, I guess. Some want both. (You might say "what about Ivan" but let me tell you, he is suspiciously fixated on Hugo, who even get a special pet name. Villain wishing for a hatefuck behavior.)

6. Aside from making a spear for Yooha and screwing up Hugo's bow, Lee Geon also says he's planning to make something for Sungjae and Jiwoo. Very curious.

7. Steven had to keep suppressing the evil god in Yooha's arms, so he's been her guardian for ten years. It's also mentioned with no details that Oliver killed the previous cadre captain, whom Yooha calls "teacher." We don't get a clear shot of him tho. Listen, Steven is a funny side character, I appreciate that he has a fair share of reactions to things, and even gets moments like tackling Yooha out of the way or stepping in to take a blow for her, since he's raised her for so long.

8. I am curious how to interpret some of the divine gods siding with Lee Geon. Steven says that Leo is "sleeping" with no explanation, but Virgo is shown as actively endorsing all this. Scorpio is initially said to be backing Libra but then Hayley switches it to Lee Geon, so it's like... there might not even be a god? There's also other spoiler(tm) questions that I am very curious about.

9. The manhwa repeats the "30 years since invasion" number, putting the current year as 2030 or 2031, which is different from the novel's 25 years. I guess this is probably to avoid having the story be set in almost modern day? They might have wanted to maintain the "near future" date, but I'm not really sure why. The divergence point is way in the past anyway.

10. Yooha is "vice celestial lord" but also only S rank, compared to Oliver being SS and divine cadre captain. From what I recall, you can have more than one cadre captain. We see a couple in Gemini, though it might be because they are in charge of different geographic areas?

11. Let me just say, "Baron Helmet" is a stupid name. He's probably not very strong, and the actual issue is that he has some power given to him by their "lord." Previously, when everyone got dragged into a sealed dimension by Libra flunkies, the Saints couldn't connect to their gods, but Lee Geon could still use his powers fine. This time, super regeneration doesn't work in order to up the stakes, but the reason should be that his power was being drained out by contact with the monarch's power. He directly compares it to the cursed dagger he got stabbed with at the Demon Tower.

12. Speaking of which, the Demon Tower is apparently quite strategically important, as the unknown civilization wants to rebuild it.

13. Chapter 92 ends on a cliffhanger about the penalty time for Lee Geon being resurrected after the Tower ending. The initial time given was 1032 hours, which is 43 days. So it's been 43 days since he returned. (The novel says that was in August, so it is now October.) Additionally, the chapter 74 cliffhanger before the hiatus said there was 65 hours until the invasion, so there was less than three days Yooha declared she'd be leaving Leo and Lee Geon sent Taekwoo's head to Libra. There was probably a few days between that and Lee Geon's big declaration against Libra.

And I guess that's it for now.

[clotpolesonly]

@morocorra BET YOU THOUGHT I FORGOT ABOUT THIS

well, i definitely did not, let's talk about Adam impersonating Gansey

so there's a lot to unpack here, obviously, and i am of two minds on the matter. well, ok, i'm of more than two minds. at least three or four minds. i'm conflicted, is what i'm saying here. there are pros and cons to this whole little sequence.

let's start out with the obvious: it was SO unnecessary. they literally didn't have to do this. it doesn't line up with anything in book canon and it didn't serve much of a practical purpose within the show canon that couldn't have been covered elsewhere.

if i recall correctly, in the books, the information about Whelk's father's embezzlement was given to the reader through the narration in Whelk's POV chapters. we don't get that kind of exposition handed to us on screen, we need to see and/or hear it more directly somehow, but it would've been fairly easy to either show it as part of the Noelk flashback sequence or to just have Noah or Whelk outright tell us/another character about it.

usually i'm all for showing and not telling, but sometimes it really is as simple as "my dad got arrested, the bank took all our money, i needed the glendower favor to get it back". instead of using up 20 minutes of screentime on having a main character sneak off, disguise himself as someone else, charm his way into city hall to illegally access police records that i don't think realistically would even be available at city hall in the first place, and then bring that same information back to his friends while refusing to provide them with any context on where or how he got it.

(honestly, he probably could've just fucking googled the Whelk name. was there no press coverage for this at all? come on, man)

so anyway, none of this needed to happen. like, i can see why they thought it might've been a more interesting way to convey that information, but really it just robbed us of a lot of their already very limited screentime. they crammed two whole books into 8 episodes and wasted our time with THIS??

on top of that, it's just........it's absolute UNHINGED behavior. i've seen some people say that it feels out of character for Adam and, yeah, honestly, i agree, at least to a degree.

it's not that book!Adam doesn't want to wear Gansey like a skinsuit. he absolutely does and he's really fucking weird about it. he gets to harvard and cosplays as Gansey so hard that even Ronan is like "dude wtf are you doing" but the thing is, book!Adam would never do it consciously and intentionally. that boy would rather chew his own arm off than recognize/acknowledge/admit how badly he wants to BE Richard Campbell Gansey III. he would literally rather die.

so for him to be on our screens, dying his hair dark and stealing Gansey's clothes and wallet and introducing himself as Dick Gansey to state employees is WILD and feels so so wrong. like, no offense to the writers, but Book!He Would Not Fucking Say That.

-sigh-

however. canon is canon, and he did, in fact, fucking say that on our screens. and i'm gonna be real here, it makes tv!Adam look even more like a complete fucking sociopath than book!Adam ever did adlkjfgh. like, what a batshit psychosexually charged immoral thing for him to do. especially because not only did he use Gansey's name while committing a crime, but he also used Gansey's influence, name-dropped his mother, and promised the county clerk a FAVOR from a US senatorial candidate if she broke the law for him. idk if that's ever gonna come back up again, if it's gonna be relevant and cause problems in later seasons, but even if it doesn't, dude, that's fucked up!!!! wtf lol

...........SO THERE'S ALL THAT

but then, on the other hand

i really enjoyed Adam being a conniving manipulative amoral little mastermind on my television screen, not gonna lie, adlkfjhg

and we know the real crowning glory of this whole ordeal!! hence the tags!!! we knew i was coming back around to this XD

when this show as first announced, i didn't have a lot of hope for the Adam/Declan parallels surviving to screen. many of them were purely textual, phrases and descriptions used for both of them that stand out starkly because of how they're written but wouldn't carry over as well to a visual medium (ie, they weren't born afraid but they learned). i was emotionally prepared to lose those and just make do.

AND THEN THE SHOW WENT OUT OF ITS WAY TO INVENT A WHOLE NEW PARALLEL THAT'S EVEN MORE UNHINGED THAN ANYTHING THE BOOKS COULD'VE GIVEN ME

i cannot believe that they made a big change to Declan's character and then also made a corresponding change to Adam's that matches Declan's deviation from canon, like did they do that one purpose?? is it a coincidence??? it can't be a coincidence, surely

okay i'll cop that it's not a perfect parallel. or, i'd say, it's both a parallel and a contrast.

we didn't get to see Declan going blond or making that decision, we don't know if it was a trauma-fueled impulse like him re-dying it dark was or if it was a choice made with a little more poise and composure, but either way it was something entirely intrinsically motivated. he did it for him, even though it caused him problems and he likely knew that it would, while Adam dying his hair dark (temporarily, it's only a level 1 dye, the kind that washes out pretty quickly, and we see that it's gone by the next episode and no one else is any the wiser about what he did) is externally motivated and for a practical purpose. it's part of a scheme rather than something that he feels emotionally driven to do as part of a coping process.

but even that says so much about them as people. Declan likes to claim that he's so rational and detached, but underneath the facade he wears, he's as impulsive and passionate as Ronan is. his emotions lead him far more often than he wants to admit even to himself. both instances of his hair fuckery are driven by emotional overwhelm, and both are permanent changes (for a given value). you can't unbleach hair that has been bleached, and level 3 dye takes weeks or months to fade. and he owns his choices in the aftermath because, as the books say, Lynches always want to be seen as deliberate, even if it's deliberately cruel or, in this case, deliberately with bad taste in aesthetic choices (lmao).

meanwhile, Adam truly is a much more rational thinker. even when he feels strong emotion, he examines it and picks it apart and makes a real effort toward not acting on it. regardless of his emotional state, on the whole, he is driven by thought and logic. he dyes his hair because his appearance is a tool to be utilized to achieve an end - in this case, accessing information that he wouldn't be able to if he presented as himself. Gansey has clout that he doesn't, and thus taking on Gansey's appearance and name allows him to leverage that clout for his own ends. and when that end is achieved, Adam takes off the disguise. he rinses the dye out of his hair. he is himself again.

through this whole metamorphosis, Adam never loses his sense of self. he is playing Gansey's role, yes, but it's a costume and he knows it is and he takes it off when he's done. but Declan doesn't have a solid sense of self. his identity is a fractured mess, and he has to go through another external process in an effort to regain what he'd stripped away from himself. he cannot unbleach his hair, he has to dye it dark again in an attempt to match his natural color. even when he's trying to be himself, he's still pretending.

if i were to read even more too much into this (😂) i would say this could also be representative of their stations in life and how they feel about themselves -- ie, Declan has the means to make whatever changes he wants, he can live any life he likes (in theory), but none of it means anything if he doesn't know who he is or how to be that person in an authentic way. and Adam feels like, as much as he can play at being better than his roots, in truth he will always be what he is and no amount of slapping paint on top is ever going to change him. from dust he came and to dust he will return. Declan cannot decide if he wants to look like his father or not, that association is fraught and complicated for him and the push-pull of it is tearing him apart, and Adam desperately aspires to distance himself from the father he resembles but believes, deep down, that there is no escaping their similarity.

it makes the monmouth gatekeeping scene spicy in its own weird way, at least for me. it's the only time these two are face to face on screen with nothing else going on around them, just the two of them going head to head. the natural blond and the fake. i have to wonder if that scene is where Adam got the idea for his own brunet adventure. after all, he learned how to flirt from observing and copying Declan, why shouldn't he get tips on pretending to be someone he's not from Declan too? he did it first and he does it best, after all.

[fresiants]

i'm SO glad i'm not bothering you with all these ideas 🥲 they really just come up so fast, i don't think much about j/ily but whenever i do i feel like they were going to get divorced anyways even if they both lived lol, but i think lily actually having support and good examples of how a loving marriage should've been like would've helped her take that decision faster. in this au i can imagine both her and sev did their potions master together and maybe even talked about working or creating new potions together, lily had dreams and ambitions on her own and they all vanished quietly when she and james got married. then she got pregnant with harry and her individual dreams strayed further from her; james would never say it straightforwardly but he did feel there was no need for her to work if he had endless wealth for any expense, so he wasn't trying to encourage her to do anything other than "being a mother", and she was feeling more and more frustrated with each passing day. the demise of their marriage was going to happen at some point, sooner or later! but ofc james would think it's severus' fault and not his incapacity to see lily as something other than his trophy wife 🙄

omg, so i think gay marriage was already normal in the wizarding world? but i was thinking like, what if it wasn't, with how awful the ministry of magic was and all of that, it gets absolutely legal circa 1988 or something like that, and remus immediately asks severus to marry him, down on one knee and ring ready. severus is speechless for a bit, then goes "where did you get the ring?" and remus explains it's been on his paternal family for generations and how he was waiting for the right moment for YEARS to give it to him. "remember when we were back in hogwarts and talked about marriage and you said you didn't want a muggle ceremony or a muggle government official involved if you ever got married? well. ever since then" when sev is still quiet remus, already a bit hesitant, says he understands if sev is not into wearing jewelry due to potion brewing etc, but severus puts on the ring with uncharacteristic eagerness, stares at the ring, releasing the breath he was holding. then looks up at remus intensely and says "i'm never going to take it off" with that remus has to understand he's saying yes, and they have a small happy celebration (they spend the night tangled in bed and sev is a little drunk with the knowledge that remus has wanted a forever with him since they were in school). the next day lily comes to visit, and she's looking a bit frantic, which is suspicious (but this escapes sev bcs he's nervous himself about telling her his news), she hastily hugs remus hello and drags severus to his working room to talk. sev is rolling the ring on his finger and takes a deep breath with barely contained excitement, just about to tell her, and she drops the bomb of her divorce 🫠 that she comes from telling james and it's all over. then she tears up, and severus is quickly pulling her close and rubbing her back as she cries, good news about his own engagement forgotten 😔

later lily gives remus a somewhat pained smile as she leaves, and remus turns to severus, puzzled "did you tell her? she didn't look very happy. it's she mad at me i didn't ask your hand earlier, or...?" severus groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. "she's divorcing potter." remus chokes on nothing and gapes at severus "she was devastated. can you recall the many times i told you we would open our best scotch bottle to celebrate once she's finally decided to drop potter?..." sev trails off, and remus snorts, already serving him a cup of tea "wasn't as satisfying as you thought it would be, right? that's how life works, love" severus scoffs, and remus continues "you didn't tell her" and to his surprise severus looks almost apologetic "i didn't dare. i knew she would close off if i mentioned it, that she would think she was burdening us, but she needed to vent and—", "of course! you did the right thing", "i also invited her to stay with us during her divorce process. she declined, said she needed to deal with this by herself" sev adds quickly "but i should've consulted you first, i am aware it was imprudent of m— what are you smiling about" remus chuckles and lifts a hand to caress severus' cheek with the back of his fingers "you're such a good friend. such an attentive friend" remus murmurs against his lips and quiets any flustered complain from severus with a kiss.

and so and so, james and sirius turning from him may complicate their incoming marriage, all the more the situation of james and lily's divorce but it's like you say, remus is not sorry to take a distance from them bcs things were complicated already and he's not a teen anymore that will stay quiet when something bothers him to keep on everyone's good side. severus is proud of him, and maybe a tiny part of him is elated remus is chosing him after all, after being so insecure when he was younger, always thinking the marauders would eventually turn remus against him. and this is all so long i'm sorryyy i just love the way your mind works too, i so want lily to get a gf now!!! for her to be in love for real and not settle for a guy that just insisted and insisted 😟💞

Don't worry you're not bothering me at all! Sorry for taking a while to respond, work's been keeping me pretty busy. But seriously, this is awesome! If you ever write a fanfic, I'd be so down to read it.

This is just my own headcanon regarding the wizarding world : Gay marriage may not have been accepted in the wizarding world until later because of the small size of the community and the blood purity beliefs held by some wizards.

British wizard population was about 3,000, one third being Hogwarts students.

It's possible to imagine that gay marriage was eventually approved and legalized in the wizarding world due to the huge amount of support from Muggle-borns and Half-bloods.

Btw Remus giving Severus his family's ring is so perfect — not only does it have sentimental value, but Severus always strikes me as the type of person who wouldn't spend money on things he doesn't need. He would definitely treasure a family heirloom more than a fancy, expensive piece of jewelry.

Since we're talking about Snupin's headcanon, I've always imagined that if Severus and Remus ever became a couple, Severus would be torn between wanting to keep their relationship private and showing the world how happy he is with his partner. In the beginning of their relationship, he would pretend to be slightly annoyed whenever Remus showed affection in public (Remus' love language is 100% physical touch) but deep down he would actually enjoy it. Remus knew it from the beginning that Severus secretly liked it, hence why he never stopped doing it. After a while, Severus would get used to it and just accept it.

Man, I just love these two together since they were always portrayed as insecure individuals, especially Remus. I hate the fact that Remus always feels insecure about his friendships, hence why he always keeps quiet and goes along with whatever his friends want. I find the idea of them helping each other to feel fulfilled and standing up for each other to be very heartwarming <3

[jennawynn]

Chronotrek TOS to series finale

oops, I did it again... I forgot to update. got lost in the sauce. or something.

Honestly, I thought I had been updating at least once a season, but I guess not. Also got distracted binging the entire series of The Expanse in about a week over the holidays. BUT I just finished the Original Series. So I guess we'll go broad strokes since the play by play is pointless.

TLDR: How fucking disappointing an end.

Season 2-

Unlike much of TOS to new!Trek, T'Pring is spot on for appearance. Not that I think it's important or even a _good_ thing for most of them to be beholden to the original, but I was impressed by that. Though the whole 'property of the victor' thing is very squicky. I thought the Vulcans were 'evolved'. And then I guess he didn't gotta fuck after all.

By 2, Uhura's actually doing work. She's not just eye candy on the bridge. But then they have Jim say that finding a girl on the ship is losing an officer. Because women can't fucking exist without being partnered and can't be partnered and still work. This bullshit was actually still happening in the Navy when I was in. Men were unwilling to invest time and training in women because we'd just get married and get out to have babies anyway where a man is likely to stay in and retire. The men in my class in boot camp were told by their instructors that women join to find men, not because we actually wanted to serve or excel.

8- (Jim across the intercom) Scotty! Scotty! Stop getting your ass kicked and respond so I can tell you there's an intruder in your area! Scotty! Scotty, respond!

I hate this so much. Like when Jim and Uhura were in cells and the dude was obviously assaulting her and Jim kept shouting 'what's happening? are you ok? what's happening? what are you doing? are you ok?' like Jim, ffs, use some context clues, some deductive reasoning, and stop shouting for people to acknowledge you and DO SOMETHING.

Rainn Wilson was a good choice for Mudd in New!Trek though.

Why would they have to pay royalties? I thought this was post-currency? Post-scarcity? Is there still money?

9- This one was also squicky. So obsessed with gender. Body takeover, "love" that isn't recognized as such until it's wearing a pretty face. But of course one is a man and one is perceived as a woman so therefore let's change everything we thought so we can stay together and call it love.

10- Amanda's a pretty good reconstruction too, if aged down in New!Trek.

14- I wasn't expecting them to go the "Jack the Ripper is an immortal alien" route.

It always cracks me up when they cut to a super wide angle shot of a fight to sub in stunt doubles who are really obvious, though I suppose they wouldn't have been on a 60s tv.

19 Heeeey Dr. M'Benga!

This whole thing with the exotic witch women and how sexual she is and how she's dressed. Like that's not dumb enough, she lets herself get grappled more than once posturing with the phaser but defaulting to the dagger. Shoot one and they'd fall in line! But gotta keep reinforcing the idea that men are stronger than women.

21- Jim's look of indignation at Spock's statement that he would fit right in as a Nazi lmao

22- I don't know why I never realized that Trek is all (at least so far) in the Milky Way, that they don't even get as far as Andromeda.

26- so they can just. time travel. at will. what?

Season 3

3- hold up, roll that back. there's an ancient pregenitor superrace that seeded humanoids everywhere? This is the first I recall it being mentioned in Trek (though the trope or a version of it is also in the expanse, mass effect, etc.) "Preservers". Is it ever explored more? It's a surprise to Bones and maybe Spock too- certainly not common knowledge.

This is from before 3, but I really like the way Bones and Spock have this begrudgingly respectful relationship, like brothers. They tease and pick at each other, but have each others' backs against anything (besides Jim maybe)

4- Kirk can see the kid doing the thing. Fuckin' ground him.

Spock says fuck them kids.

Ugly = Bad was alive and well in the 60s.

5- And then they somehow have a discussion that Good =/= Beautiful in the very next episode.

Gen Obs- It feels like TOS spends more time on the bridge than other shows. The Bridge or the planet they're on. The other shows so far show more engine room, hallways, ready rooms, bunks, etc. Other places on the ship than just the bridge. They have them in TOS, but they seem underutilized. I don't have the data to back it up and couldn't find it (which was surprising to me).

Another obs- they overcommunicate for the audience's sake, but rarely with each other. Kirk never explains his thought process or orders to the people he leaves in command. When something planetside affects the ship, he doesn't tell them, he just says 'I'll take care of it down here'. His crew and his backup are often left in the dark.

13- There's so much in this one I don't like but the line about Kirk being into spanking made me smirk. Canonically in love with the Enterprise indeed.

14- Jim: Mr. Spock and I are brothers! Spock: Captain Kirk is speaking figuratively and with undue emotion Kirk: *offended face* Spock: However, what he says is logical and I do agree with it.

19 Kirk did seem to become more of a manwhore the longer the season went, no? Why did they all lose their shit so much around women? It's exhausting.

22- I love that Scotty gets to wear tartan/kilt in dress uniform.

heeeyyyy Kahless

24- And the disappointing end. In this idolized utopian setting, not only is it not permitted for a woman to be a starship captain, but then they "prove" that women are too emotional to command.

The last line of the whole series: "Her life could have been as rich as any woman's if only...."

Not as rich as any person's. And if only she'd been content to her 2nd class status and not pushed for equality. How fucking disappointing.

Everyone always points to 'the actresses WANTED to wear miniskirts because empowerment' when they talk about the sexism of the original series, and I tried to watch with that in mind, but that just feels like a smoke screen for the actual shitty sexist takes.

The show equates a woman with emotion and sexuality. She's a good officer right up until she falls in love (or someone falls in love with her), then she's just a woman- a liability and a pleasure object. They only use women in episodes that require someone to be or fall in love with them. Even Uhura and Chapel aren't completely immune, though they are the biggest exceptions and the only recurring female characters. Though of course Uhura's the comms officer (cause women talk) and Chapel's a nurse (not a doctor).

Like even if you remove the miniskirts and the gross inappropriate touching from the equation, there's still a lot of ick happening. They can imagine a future where the races are equal but not the sexes.