#i don't think he'd regress to like a baby but i think he'd so like being like a kid/young teen

[fearcicada]

I wish there were more tma agere fics that weren't just the archives polycule 😭 or even ones that just didn't include Martin in them PLEAAASEE

[buckys-little-belle]

Hiiiii I really love your whole Tumblr it's really comforting I really loved the one you wrote I think it was called just feelin little with bucky and steve and it was really comforting because I don't fully regress other thank cuddling up at night with my blanky and a theeter shaped like an oreo

If your comfortable writing something like that with Eddie Munson like maybe a little that doesn't even understand what that is and one day at he notice that the reader is having a hard time and kinda swoops in and helps. Thanks for listening even if you don't write have a good day (or night :)

Chomp Chomp

Eddie Munson x Little!Reader (They/Them/No pronouns used)

Warnings - Eddie helps the reader regress, use of teethers, use of a comfort blankie, talks about being stressed, talks about de-stressing, reader goes into a state of "disassociation" basically they are very stressed and just stop replying to Eddie's questions, very very vague mentions of that though, a bit of angst, but mainly self-indulgent fluff! (Also I made the teether one of the frozen ones but I'm now realizing that's probably not the kind you meant! So I apologize!)

Notes - I wrote this in a different perspective than I usually do. I just need a break from the more "formal" writing style I usually do and I hope that you like it!

SFW - Please keep all interactions with this post, and this blog, SFW!

. ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ .

. ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ .

Eddie knew that you age regressed before you really understood it yourself. He'd taken note of how you sleep with whatever soft blanket you could find at night time, how you often found yourself chewing on ice before bed, and and you'd act like, what you called "snuggly", and what he called "small".

He didn't want to scare you with the big title of "age regression" all at once. So he slowly began incorporating more "classic" age regression tactics to your nightly routine without you realizing it at first.

Instead of a glass full of big ice cubes you'd bite in half, he gave you a plastic cup full of small bat shaped ice cubes. They were easier to chew on, and he liked knowing the cup wouldn't shatter if you dropped it.

Then he bought you a small soft grey blanket at the thrift store. He washed it and made sure it smelled like him before he gave it to you, giving you the impression that it was just laying around somewhere instead of bought for a specific reason.

It became your "Nightie blankie", you nicknamed it and Eddie was once again sure of your regression, or at least partial regression. You slept with it every night, snuggled to your chest, the soft material tickling your chin as you slept.

After a few months of just those two new things he added in a fun nightlight so he could finally turn the bathroom light off. You thought it was cute, it projected a small smattering of stars on the ceiling and it often lulled you to sleep.

Next though, the next step was a little harder to get you acclimated with. "A teething ring?" You asked, holding the small thing in your hand. "It's cold?"

"I put it in the freezer, there's gel inside that gets cold." Eddie reasoned. "This way you don't have to eat so much ice before bed, you can just chomp on this." He gave your forehead a kiss before making the bed. Hoping that if he acted chill about it you would be fine with the new addition.

"But it's for babies?" You grumbled.

Eddie stood up with a huff, his hands on his hips. "Do you like it?" He asked, eyebrows raised.

You took a quick chomp, liking the way the frozen thing felt like ice but wouldn't make you full of water or your hands wet. "I don't know."

"Just try it for tonight, if you hate it I'll give you your ice back." He said it so plainly, like he hadn't given you a kids toy to chomp on.

You ended up enjoying your teether, chomping on it was much easier than eating ice, and you liked the little charms that were attached. It was calming, and Eddie didn't think it was weird, and you trusted him on it.

A year later, with all of your new regression tools in place bedtime seemed easier. Eddie had brought up the idea of age regression a few times, but always in a passive way.

He'd put cartoons on and say things like "Doesn't this make you feel like a kid again?" and "I wish I had some toys to play with." when things got boring at the trailer.

You didn't really understand that he wasn't really feeling like a kid while watching the tv shows, or wishing for toys, he was seeing how you reacted, seeing if you were maybe an age regressor outside of just bedtime.

He didn't push it but he got you a few stuffies, and kept cartoons on often. He didn't want to force you to regress if you didn't need it, or seem to be interested, and you didn't really seem to regress all that young. You seemed to drift to an unknown age that liked teethers, blankies, and night lights, but also liked to humm Metallica songs before bed. You were different, and he enjoyed it.

One day though you seemed on edge. Stressed about something that he couldn't fix, something you couldn't seem to get over. You began worrying him when you sat on the floor and just sort of stared off into space. You weren't panicking anymore, you weren't coping.

So he thought that maybe some regression would help you work through the big emotions in a safer way. So he grabbed your blanket and placed it in your hands, you immediately began to fiddle with it, but still didn't respond when he tried to talk to you about why you were stressed.

So he then turned the lights off, grabbing the small nighlight and brining it to the living room. Now instead of staring off into space your eyes drifted along the ceiling as the stars moved around.

Last but not least he grabbed your teether, placing it in your hand. Like you did at bedtime you began to chomp on it, and Eddie smiled.

"What's going on, baby?" He asked, taking a seat next to you.

"Jus' chomp, chomping." You replied with a soft smile.

"Yeah, and why do you need to chomp chomp?" He said in an animated voice.

Slowly you began to tell him what was bothering you, and slowly he helped you solve the problem, letting you use your regression and comfort items to help keep you calm and collected instead of distant and despondent.

You didn't regress often outside of bedtime, and you didn't really seem to regress to a certain age, but Eddie understood what you needed, and he helped you in his own subtle ways.

[last-words-ofashootingstar]

Baby

❥Yandere Park Seonghwa x fem reader

SPOOKTOBER SPECIAL

➯a/n: this is a work of fiction and does NOT represent a healthy little and caregiver relationship, or a healthy relationship of any kind. this is messed up but i wanted to experiment with my writing and i think i succeeded. let me know what you think of this cause i would love love looooove to write more

✃ "You're my baby, say it to me." - Mitski, I Bet on Losing Dogs

✫彡wordcount: 4k

♡'･ᴗ･'♡(ಡ‸ಡ)genre: yandere, HEAVY angst

ಠ_ಠwarning/content: stockholm syndrome, mind breaking, spanking, mentions of bribery, mommy hwa (i cannot help myself)

⁂taglist: @stvrfir3 @tunaasan @marievllr-abg

✩index: little space; a regressed state of mind where one feels like a child. hyung; a name for an older male friend or sibling, used by other males.

MATURE UNDER CUT MDNI

    "I'm home, sorry I'm late!" Seonghwa called out as he entered the apartment, looking around the empty rooms. "Baby?" He peeked into the kitchen, dinner untouched on the stove. "San?" The living room, the news channel on mute. "Mingi?" Both of his roommates rooms, desolate.

"No!" Your shout calls him to his room at the end of the hall, followed by a clanging and a yell of pain from his friend.

"Baby?! Baby!?" He turns into his room in a panic, eyes wide as he witnesses the scene infront of him.

You're curled up in a ball in the corner of his bed- head in your knees- with San holding Mingis arm as he curses under his breath, one of your bottles on the floor at their feet. "Hyung," He turns quickly and picks up the bottle, pointing it at you accusingly, "she threw this at Mingi!"

"Baby, why would you do that?" He takes the bottle from San and slowly kneels on the edge of the bed, reaching for you.

You say nothing, only whining and kicking his hand away. So he turns his attention back to the younger members. "What happened?" He wants to scream at them, really. How could they make his Baby cry when they know everything he went through and continues to go through to have you as his own? But that would only make you more upset. You don't like when he raises his voice, so he keeps it calm. "Is she hurt?"

"Hyung... We really didn't mean to, we tried to-" Mingi is almost in tears, he truly feels for you. But it's been months. If he could have helped he'd of found a way by now. But they need Seonghwa. And some of the members wouldn't even dream of turning him in- even after what he's done. For selfish reasons maybe. But it doesn't matter why or why not. You've been stuck in their apartments for half a year. They'd thought all of your deficiency had passed. That they could pretend it was okay.

"What happened, Baby?" He turns back to you, gently touching your knee.

That little touch seems to make you snap. Screaming obscenities in his face as you go on and on about how you are not, in fact, his baby. You aren't his at all. You want to go home. You don't love him. You don't like San. You don't like Mingi. You don't like any of the members, actually. You don't like living here. You wish you'd never even met him.

All three of them watch aghast, jaws dropped as you yell insult after insult at them. Hot in the face and tears streaming down like a waterfall so harshly that they wet the collar of your baby blue dress and pool as a drop on your chin. You grab the little plushie that Jongho made with you and hurl it at Seonghwas face, hitting him on the nose.

He watches it fall to the floor and his eyes don't seem to move after that. He's forced to listen as you insult his character directly now. He's a insane person. He's a pervert. He's sick in the head. He's annoyingly overbearing. You loathe his guts. You wouldn't spit on him if he were on fire. You'd shoot him twice if you were in a room with him and a hungry tiger with only two bullets. You loathe his entire being. You aren't his Baby. You aren't even his girlfriend. He's delusional.

The words ring around his head hauntingly. You can't possibly mean those things. He takes care of you so well. He gives you the world and all he asks for in return is your love. And he's gotten it. At least he thought he had. He woke up with you by his side and went back to bed the same way. You gave him kisses on the cheek. You let him play with all of your favorite toys that no one else can touch. You let him bathe you and dress you. You let him do everything.

"Do you hear me?" You scream, throwing his neatly fluffed pillow at his already lowered head. "I hate you!"

The world stops in that moment, the millisecond that word slips from your mouth.

    It's silent in the room. In the apartment. Not only could you hear a pin drop—

    You can hear the single tear fall from Seonghwas eye and collide with the hardwood.

Both of them look at him. You look at him. He looks at the floor. There's a visible shift in his aura. He goes from unreadable to pissed in the blink of an eye. His shoulders tense up and his breathing gets shallow.

He stands up, almost robotically. He picks up his pillow and dusts it off, placing in back on the bed where it belongs. His gaze doesn't even bother to meet yours as you watch him with wide, fearful eyes. He grabs the plushie and sets it down as well. "...Get up. Bend over, Baby."

"Hwa, wait, pl-"

"Before I get the paddle."

He doesn't say anything else, glaring down at you as you move tentatively. After an incident with an unlocked window and some sheets resulting in you being dragged to Hongjoongs room by the ear, you don't even want to see the paddle. You had to sit on their laps or a pillow for two weeks straight, if memory serves you right.

    He doesn't reach to move you faster. He stands at the edge of the bed, deadly silent. He only intervenes when you look to Mingi and San beggingly. "You're not allowed to look at them anymore."

That was a rule when you first arrived. You only got that privilege a few weeks ago. You figured it was probably to make you feel distance to the fact that these were people, who could potentially help you leave him, and not just disembodied voices and lower bodies. A way to make you feel even more lonely. Even when they were so close that you could here their breathing.

Like now, Mingi lets out a few small sniffles here and there. Sans breaths sounds anxious. Like if he moves an inch that he will be next on his Hyungs list.

As you bend your body over the edge, they avert their eyes. They may be complacent with Seonghwas actions, but they will never cross that line. They, all seven of the younger members, promised it. Never touch you. Never take advantage of you. Never directly help Seonghwa control you in any way. In fact, most of them decided it would be best to help you however possible, without ruining all of their lives in the process. Getting you small gifts that Seonghwa pre-approved. Stealing you away to the other dorms for a movie night. Sneaking you an extra sweet or episode of cartoons when you were deep in little-space.

But there was nothing they could do when Seonghwa told you to do something. To go to bed early. To let him wash your hair. To give him a kiss. To suck on his thumb. To bend over.

So they could only look away with heavy hearts as he flips up your skirt and rips -quite literally- your underwear away. The sound makes Mingi cringe, your crying pleas for him make him want to disappear forever. "Ming, please, don't let him! I'm sor-"

Seonghwa doesn't even start easy on you, he smacks your bottom harshly, over and over again until your cheek is sore and aching all the way through to your hip. And then, for the briefest moment, you all think it's over when the loud echo of the smacks finally ceases. But that was only him moving to get a better angle on your other side.

    You cry loudly, and the sound officially makes Mingi cry. He lowers his head and turns his body away completely to try and distance himself from the abuse. San gently takes ahold of his pink in his own. It does little to comfort either of them, but it reminds them both of the pact that they made.

     All of their pinkies interlocked, a promise that they would do their best for their obviously challenged Hyung.

        Both of your cheeks bruising and hot to the touch, Seonghwa finally backs up. He moves his knees from their place on either side of you and lets you crumble to the floor in a pile of sobs. He stops briefly to pull your skirt over you half-hazardly before leaving you completely alone as you blubber into your arms.

     His palm is red, as angry as he was. He takes a deep breath as he takes a pump of lotion, rubbing it into his hands as he turns to the other men.

      "Tell me what happened."

    Mingi wipes his face roughly, straightening up as San speaks lowly, "we turned on the TV. We were going to watch a movie, but... but she saw it on the news before we could even change it."

    "What did she see?"

   "Her missing persons photo..."

✿

The door was locked behind them and there was no noise in the apartment. If you hadn't known better, you'd say they all left. But Seonghwa refused to ever leave you alone. Even when all of the members were busy. You either went with them or had a staff member watching you, one who'd coincidentally received a raise moments before.

You stayed right there on the floor for the longest time, sobbing and snotting all over the floor as you tried to calm yourself.

Oh, you really outdid yourself this time.

Even at his angriest, Seonghwa never left your side when there was a tear in your eye.

You knew he had no tolerance for that word. Hate. Ironically, you could say he hated it. Especially when it came out of your lips. You once said you hated the show he put on. He gave you a fourty minute lecture and three smacks to the behind.

And you just aimed it right at him. You meant to make him angry. And you succeeded.

Now, into the night, when he still hasn't returned, you start to wonder wether you snapped his last string of humanity. If he hated you just as much as you claimed you hated him. If he's out in the kitchen planning how to get rid of you.

Your body aches as you sit up, screaming at you as you crawl into the small pink tent in the corner of the room. It's placed on top of soft play mats and filled with baby-ish things that he insisted you needed every time he saw them. The softest blankets. The cutesy, most hug-able plushies. A small box of your favorite pacifiers and toys.

You untie the ribbon keeping the sheer fabric open and let it drape closed, as if it will shield you. Perhaps, in your fragile mind, it will. He never comes in here, only ever reaches in to grab the blankets to wash every other week.

You let yourself flop onto your side into the pile and find yourself sobbing all over again. Maybe, just maybe, in a fucked up, delusional way... Seonghwa does care for you. Maybe, just maybe, in his mind, he does all of these things because he believes it best for you.

You can still see Seonghwa in his room when he's not there. Maybe that's why you hate being cooped up in here. Always begging members to let you hang out in their rooms instead.

It's so neat. Even after the chaos of earlier. So color coordinated. Grey and white and warm lights.

You're the only exception. Toys and clothes and books strewn about in your little corner, just out of sight of his cam-corder.

   Maybe that's why you get so mad when you slip out of the little space he's built for you. You know you don't fit into his life seamlessly. You know the truth of your situation. So you may as well start making the best of it.

    With a groan of effort, you sit back up.

✿

   It's well past midnight when he turns the lock on the outside of his door. Which also means its well past your bedtime. You've become so well accustomed to it over your time together, he figures you've probably fallen asleep.  

       And he's right. He immediately spots you on his side do the bed, holding his pillow tight to your chest with your swollen eyes closed.

    A pant of regret hits him right where it hurts as he realizes just how much he made you cry. How much he made you hurt. His anger got the best of him, and it hurts his heart that deep down, he knows it won't be the last time.

     He's done it to everyone. His family. His members. Himself...

    His darkest thoughts reach out in the corners of his mind, saying that his Baby is better of without him. But he is quick to slap them away as he tip toes into the room.

    Somethings off, somethings different. Everything is in place.

    All of your toys and coloring books and short stories. All of your pacifiers and stuffed animals. They're on the shelf exactly how he puts them during his Sunday reset cleanings. All of your favorites are on the wall, your side of the bed. The multitude of blankets and throw pillows in your tent are folded and organized neatly. Your tears and snot have been wiped up. Your ripped panties in the bin.

    "Oh, my Baby," he whispers, immediately crawling into bed behind you and holding your back close to his chest, careful to avoid your bottom. He doesn't even want to fathom what he did to you... "My Baby..."

      He can't help but cry, though he tries to do so silently. He wants you to rest, you need it. But the smallest movement of the bed wakes you in your fragile state.

    When you stir, he expects you to crawl away. But you don't. Instead, you roll over to face him and shimmy into his arms. "Hey, sweet girl," he coos hoarsely.

     You were right, earlier. You weren't left alone in the apartment. San was sitting in the living room comforting Mingi as Seonghwa stormed off and went upstairs to Hongjoong. While they sat in silence, he screamed and screamed and screamed until he couldn't breathe.

     Eventually, Hongjoong and Yunho got him to calm down, and they talked and talked and talked. Yunho suggested, lightly, that you should stay the night with them. And then Seonghwa screamed some more.

     In all this time, your nighttime routine had never been interrupted. He had a very specific way the two of you did things before bed and he would have it no other way. In all this time, he's never let you out of his arms as he slept. Even that first night, you kicked and screamed and punched until you passed out. But you did so in his arms.

    "Mommy." It's a simple acknowledgment, but it calms him ever so slightly. He takes pride in that name. And it makes him happy you can still call him that after what he's done to you.

     "Are you okay, Baby?" He knows that the answer is no. But he'll give you the opportunity to speak for yourself. To tell him how to help.

     "Hurts," you sniffle as you press your face into his chest, " 'm hungry..."

     "Come on, Sweetpea, I'll take care of you."

    You koala hug onto him, arms around his neck and legs around his waist as he stands.

    And the nighttime routine starts now, a pattern of familiarity to calm both of your shot nerves.

    He gently sets you in your seat at the table, but not before pacing down a pillow he grabbed while passing the couch. It still burns even with the soft cushioning below you.

You eat in silence. Usually you would speak about your days, and the next one's plans. But there doesn't seem to be any words that either of you can find at the moment.

He rinses the dishes before picking you back up. No matter how many times you insist you can walk- he insists right back that his Baby must be carried. You pass Mingi on the way to the bathroom, and he gives you a small wave, his eyes bloodshot and his posture slumped. But he can't help the small smile that tugs at his lips as you wave back over Seonghwas shoulder.

The pillow goes down on the counter before you, and he starts your meticulous skin care. Your face wash, then his. Your toner, then his. Moisturizer, eye cream, spot treatment, the list goes on until your both brushing your teeth.

You will admit Seonghwa takes exceptionally good care of not only himself, but you as well.

He likes to massage your face after all is said and done. He says it's good for blood flow, which is true. But he does it for a few simpler reasons.

Your face in his hands. And a chance to admire you at the end of the day.

No matter how rough of a day it was. He could always count on this.

He cups your cheeks as he stands between your legs, massaging them gently. "My Baby." He whispers. So quiet you actually miss it. You're too busy melting into his affection. "You're my Baby." He speaks, however lowly.

"Mhm," you moan quietly, blinking up at him, not knowing what exactly he's meaning.

"Say it to me," he says. He pleads. His forehead rests on yours. Eyes growing wet as he uses your eyes as a window into your soul. "Please."

"I'm your baby," you whisper just as gently as he. Nodding against his head lightly. "I'm your baby, Mommy."

He nearly collapses as his shoulders finally relax. His mind flooding with happiness as he hears those words. You're all he's ever wanted. You're all he feels he truly has.

He knew it since the moment he saw you. So delicate, so beautiful and kind. He was overcome with an urge that he can only describe as a mix of pure love and anxiety. He loves you so deeply, how can he ever rest if he doesn't know for certain that your safe and taken care of? So he took matters into his own hands.

He's never felt it before. He knows he'll never feel it again. He will never. Never. Love someone as much as you. As much as his Baby.

You reach up and wipe his tears gently, the tiniest of smiles playing at your lips, "you gonna wash away all the stuff you jus' put on."

He can't help the chuckle that leaves him, leaning into your touch as it leaves a tingle on his skin, "you're right, Baby."

He gently, oh so gently, places a kiss on your lips before your routine resumes.

He leaves you to do your business as he goes to the living room and gathers your pajamas, and when he comes back he finds you all done, rubbing your bottom with a pout. "Oh, Baby, I'm so sorry! I forgot, it must have hurt on the toilet," a pout of his own forms as he crouches and rummages through the cabinet.

"Yeahm," you whine, watching him closely as he grabs a tube.

"Bend over, Baby." That simply sentence almost has you spiraling again before he reaches and rubs your head ever so gently. "It's okay, it's okay. It's numbing cream. Let Mommy put on you and it'll feel better, promise."

You hesitantly bend over the counter slightly, and are relieved to find he's telling the truth. He's barely touching your behind enough spread the cream, his touch is so light. But he manages to apply the treatment without causing you any more harm.

You know that this will be part of your nightly routine again when he sets the tube down with the rest of his products. It mocks you as you look at it. Knowing you'll have to hear those words over and over again until you're healed.

He helps you rid your dress and redresses you in one of his t-shirts before changing into his own pajamas.

As he carries you back to bed, you speak up while fiddling with the buttons on his shirt, "Mommy?"

"Yes, Baby?"

"Can sleep in my tent tonigh'?"

"Oh, Baby, you know I have to hold you to fall asleep. Baby can have a nap in there tomorrow, how about that?"

"No, Mommy too," you look to him with a pout as he closes the bedroom door behind you, "Mommy in the tent." You point to it as if he doesn't know what tent you're referring to, and it makes him laugh how adorable you are when you're so deep in little-space.

"Okay, Baby," he sets you down first and lets you crawl in, watching you with stars in his eyes as you curl up under the blankets and move to make room for him.

His feet poke out of the side even as he's curled spooning you, and he knows the sight is probably ridiculous. But it's very possibly the coziest he's been with you. The tent and the plushies inside of it smell like you. All of the soft blankets have accumulated into a weighted blanket of sorts and keeps you both warm in the cold October air. His chest pressed to your back and your numbed bottom snuggling back into his hips. Your soft, calm breaths luring him into a state of tranquility. He stays just like that, for a long time, it feels like. It almost feels like he's meditating. His soul being cleansed. He can see why you like it here-

Oh. Oh, he's really in here.

It dawns on him as he looks up. What is usually a white ceiling is a pink fabric just a few inches away from his face.

You invited him in.

Ever since he set it up three months ago, you made a strict 'BABY ONLY' policy. And you stuck to that. Not even Jongho, who was admittedly your favorite of his members, was allowed in. They were all confined to the play mat just outside.

But not anymore.

He thought after the pain he had caused, after the outside world had reminded you what he'd done, that your progress would be set back. That he'd back back to square one with a brat. But, you went ahead and proved him opposite.

You proved him that you are and will continue to be,

His Baby.

✿

[snugglebugs]

KAI SMITH flip (caregiver-leaning!)

Kai Ninjago Smith is ABSOLUTELY an age regressor are you KIDDING me are you JOKING me. He is BASICALLY CANONICALLY an age regressor!!!!

> "I bet he loves being treated like a baby..." (Nya, Season 14, Episode 6, Call From The Abyss)... Yeah he does because he IS a baby. He is THE baby. He is BABY.

His entire traumatic backstory is that, after his parents were taken from him from an early age, he had to step into a parental role for his little sister and become the adult of the family while still being a child himself. He had to grow up before he even really had a chance to grow at all. On-screen, we see that once his parents return and he's no longer forced into that role of responsibility, he canonically regresses into childish habits and language we have never before seen him use or display beforehand.

"Ham and cheese sandwiches with crispy bacon? Oh thanks, Mommy! You're the best! Mm... bacon is the best, too!" (Kai, Season 14, Episode 6, Call From The Abyss).

Conclusion? Kai Smith is the most age-regressor to ever age regress ever I will not take criticism because I am OBJECTIVELY CORRECT.

Anyway!! I think Kai is regresses from 5-9~ years old. We can tell from his diction that he doesn't seem to be a baby regressor (at least in this scene), as he's capable of fully-formed sentences and has the cognitive skills required to play video games, so that leads me to believe he might be a little-middlespace regressor! Kai's parents left when he was around 5, so it makes sense he wouldn't be an infant regressor, but around the little-middle spectrum, regressing into the same range of years in which he didn't have a chance to be a child before.

I don't just think he's an age regressor, though, I also think he's a flip, too! He definitely has some care-giving tendencies built-in to him from having to be a caretaker for his little sister for so many years, and so he pretty naturally slips into the role of a big brother caregiver! I imagine he leans more towards the caregiving side then the regressing side, just because being a caregiver is what he's used to being - what he's always had to be - but that may be prone to change as he becomes more comfortable with his regression! He hates regressing around the other age regressors, especially when they're regressed, because he feels like when they're small he has to be big and adult to take care of them regardless of his own headspace. We can see his caregiver tendencies displayed in... countless interactions with Lloyd. Speaking of...

LLOYD MONTGOMERY GARMADON age regressor!

I am, once again, OBJECTIVELY correct. Lloyd is basically canonically an age regressor. He IS canonically an age regressor. He is, quite literally, a child stuck in a teenager's body -- as in he was a child and then magic age-up tea turned his body into a teenager's but still left him with the mental capacity of a child. Which is the DEFINITION of what an age regressor is!! Bodily an adult but mentally a child!! He IS an age regressor!!!!

And even if that WASN'T the case, he'd probably be an age regressor anyway, because, like. Look at him. He had the weight of the world on his shoulders since he was, like, eight, was unable to be a child because he had to endure constant rigorous training and when he WASN'T training he was undergoing countless traumatic experiences while he was still a child.

> Lloyd: "Well...The latest issue of Starfarer just came in at Doomsday Comix and it's a limited run, so if I don't go out and get it, it's going to sell out. Last they left off, intergalactic rogue Fritz Donnegan was surrounded by the Imperial Sludge, and if I don't find out if he gets out alright, I think I might have my own doomsday!" Kai: "The fate of Ninjago rests on your shoulders. As the Green Ninja, you have a giant responsibility to hold. I'm sorry, but you don't have time for such childish things." Lloyd: "Other kids get to play and have fun. All I ever do is train..." (Season 2, Episode 18, Child's Play)

I don't even think I need to argue my case that hard for why Lloyd is an age regressor. I think it'd be harder to argue why he ISN'T an age regressor, actually. TRY to argue that he's not an age regressor. TRY. I BET you CAN'T.

I don't have much evidence for this one, but I imagine he may be a pet regressor, too! He's an oni-dragon-hybrid, after all, and his heritage have proven to come with strong instincts regarding this animalistic half of his genes, as seen throughout the Oni Trilogy.

COLE BROOKSTONE caregiver!

Look at him. JUST LOOK AT HIM. The most caregiver to ever caregive ever forever. He has chronic can't-stop-adopting-children syndrome. He's adopted, like, three separate children at this point. It is becoming a problem.

"Huh? Oh, no. Don't make that face. Don't cry. Oh, I can't take it any more. Hey, look at me. Hehe. Yeah. I'm not sad. Ha-ha, I'm not crying. Oh, fine. But this is between you and me. Shine, little glow worm, glimmer glimmer. Hey there, don't get dimmer, dimmer. You like that, huh? Well, there's more where that came from. Glow, little glow worm. Glow and Glimmer—" (Cole, Season 8, Episode 5, Dead Man's Squall)

When his mentor canonically (mentally & physically) regressed into an infant his first and immediate instinct was to adopt and care for them. If that isn't agere caregiver behaviour I don't know WHAT is. HE BECAME THE FATHER TO AN INDIVIDUAL REGRESSED FROM THEIR NORMAL HEADSPACE INTO A CHILD.... HE'S LITERALLY A CAREGIVER GUYS!!!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE YOU WANT ME TO SAY!!!!!!! I AM JUST STRAIGHT-UP CORRECT!!!!!!!!!!!

JAY WALKER padded regressor!

"Jay: Aah! [He picks up a ruined stuffed toy.] Mister Cuddlywomp… [sobs] is a teddy bear I used to love when I was five, but now he's totally lame and—

Cole: We know you still sleep with him.

Jay: And I don't care who knows it! Mister Cuddlywomp..." (Season 7, Episode 6, The Attack)

Jay Walker is DEFINTELY a regressor. His personality has been noted to be very child-like and babyish at times, to the point where the fandom (and showwriters) tend to infantilize him, despite the fact that in his own right he can be a very serious character when he need be. As much as I do believe he's an age regressor, it's important to remember he can be very capable and competent character when he's big, too, and not to define him by his regression!

If he's any regressor, it's definitely a padded regressor. Throughout the show, it's become a running bit that he's a bedwetter and has a weak bladder:

"Jay: But I don't wanna get wet. I...I only have one pair of underwear.

Kai: Jay, this is no time to be making jokes. The Bounty can only take so much.

"Jay: You think I'm trying to be funny?" (Season 2, Episode 9, The Last Voyage)

"Harumi: Uh, forgive me, but is that...underwear?

Jay: We're usually more organized. Ahem. But our leader got lost in a time-stream. Uh, they're Cole's.

Cole: They're blue!

Kai: You're lucky they're not yellow." (Season 8, Episode 3, The Oni & The Dragon)

"Oh, that reminds me, Jay, honey, I need to teach you how to bleach your boxer shorts." (Maya, Season 14, Episode 7, Unsinkable)

"Jet Jack: Then tell us, who do these diapers belong to?

Kai: Oh, those are Jay's. Tell 'em, Jay.

Jay: Oh. I have a weak bladder." (Season 9, Episode 2, Iron & Stone)

These are only a few of many, many examples (You can find others throughout the show, such as in Only One Can Remain, The Darkness Remains, Darkness Within, etc), and though it's usually spun as a joke, there's no harm and shame in it! In conclusion

ZANE JULIEN caregiver!

"I was built to protect those who can't protect themselves!" (Zane, Season 3, Episode 8, The Titanium Ninja)

I don't know what else you want me to say guys... he said so himself.,,,,,,. was built to protect those who can't protect themselves...,.....

Zane's entire identity is hinged around adaptability. Though I could go on a WHOLE 'NOTHER ESSAY about Zane's relationship with identity, the point here is that he often adapts to what people need him to be! I mean, he downloaded thousands pieces of detective media onto his hardware in order to try to track down the other ninja after they went missing, if called for I imagine he could very easily slip into the role of caretaker (he WOULD download hundreds of resources on age regression to help the other ninja)!

I don't have a lot of evidence for this one beside source: bro trust me but bro. trust me. The Vibes,,,, theyre there

These are just my personal headcanons based on evidence I've gathered from the show - I am in NO WAY saying these are the only headcanons or that they are the "correct" ones!! In fact, if you have DIFFERENT headcanons for the ninja (esp. ones I didn't provide a lot of detail for), I encourage you to share them in the tags, I'd love to hear other's opinions!!!! ^^

If this gets enough interested, I might make a pt. 2, so stay tuned!!

[multi-fandom-agereg]

hihi!!! could i possibly request some regressor young neil (scott pilgrim) headcanons or a moodboard?? no pressure- the headcanon has just been on my mind hehe

- @beaistiny 🐝

🚀 Little!Young Neil HCS

🚀 | I can 100% do that! Thank you so much for requesting^^ love your content btw! I hope you enjoy:]

💙 : the type of baby to prefer naps over being awake when regressed. Don't get me wrong— he loves to play video games, watch every cartoon he can stumble onto and hang out with friends or family. However naps is something that keeps him calm literally 80 percent of the time. If he doesn't get his naps he will be a very cranky boy

💙 : his favorite little food(s) is anything involving ice cream or Mac and cheese. He highly prefers ice cream over Mac and cheese and everything else, but he isn't that picky. He gets what he can get, and he'll end up being neutral about it. If he were to hold a grudge about it; he'd forget about it within two hours

💙 : very very quiet around people. He's like the kid in your class who rarely talks at all. (Or socialize much in class). He's exactly like that most of the time. Just hand him a controller or a comic book and you won't even notice he's there.

💙 : is pretty liquid with his agere age and isn't sure what his age is. But all he knows is that he regresses younger than 10. Not much older than that. (I think hes either a infant or toddler regressor)

💙 : a very sweet baby. Will ask for cuddles from his babysitters and CGs whenever the opportunity is there. He will also follow them around while he's glued to his games. He will let you play his games, but only because he wants to watch and do commentary on your gameplay.

💙 : his little hobbies are mostly him napping, playing games or reading. But sometimes he will color for his friends or redraw scenes from his books.

💙 : I feel like when little he'd play animal crossing, red dead redemption and minecraft. He finds comfort in those games. When it comes to books the majority of it is comics. Such as manga or superheros (DC and Marvel)

💙 : steals his babysitters/caretakers shirts and or hoodies. You can't get them off of him because before you can, he's asleep. Sometimes he likes to tease about it when he's big because he knows nobody has the guts to wake him up. So he's pretty slick when it comes to getting what he wanted

💙 : doesn't have a permanent caregiver per say, but he looks up to Stephen Stills alot more than other people. He see's him as an influence and father figure enough as it was. So he trusts him to be his caregiver

💙 : owns 'too many' agere gear for one person. But it's often than not that he's spoiled rotten. But he doesn't mind it

💙 : he's probably a bluey and paw patrol fan. Change my mind

[heartofjasmina]

glad you like seeing me in your ask bc i like being here. ♡

another request for some soft x reader goodness. you write soft stuff so well and frankly i can’t get enough. i’ll let you pick a character this time, and as always, anything is fair game. i think we’ve read enough of each other’s writing to know i’ll like whatever you come up with. thanks so much.

<3 thanks so much bunny that means a lot! and I gotta go with my baby Bakugou <3

::

Katsuki spent Saturdays taking care of his baby, come hell or high water. He woke you up bright and early despite your sleepy (and adorable) protests, "'m tired Daddy."

"I know punkin, but its Saturday. You don't want to miss pancakes and cartoons do you?" He bit back a grin when you suddenly bolted upright out of your bed and started to head to the kitchen. "Brush your teeth first brat!"

"Yes Daddy!" You singsonged. Katsuki felt his heart settle into place like it always did in these moments, when he was reminded his best girl was also his most adorable baby who trusted him implicitly.

You two spent the day at home away from prying and judgemental eyes. Katsuki set up a picnic in the living room, with all your favorite stuffies in attendance, including Mr. Rogers the Rhinocerous and your Cinnamoroll. He helped you get dressed in your poofiest princess dress and even put on his only tuxedo to escort you.

"May I, my lady?" He offered you his arm and smiled at the shy giggle that left you as you took it.

"You may, Sir Daddy."

And even though he'd take this to the grave, he let you put your tiara on him when you were having your tea party with finger sandwiches, just to see you burst into a fit of laughter.

"Daddy's a princess!!" You crawled over to him and kissed him all over his face, loving him with truly your whole heart.

"Only for my baby." He grumbled but kissed you back regardless.

The whole day was a treasure for both of you, a memory too keep with you throughout the week when the real world demanded your attention. And that's why you both threw yourselves into your dynamic every weekend. It was the oasis in the desert that you drank from greedily each time.

By bed time you were as exhausted as Katsuki was, but bone deep happy. "Come on punkin, time for teeth brushing and bedtime."

"Okay, but you gotta carry me." You held up your arms and made grabby hands at him, knowing your pro hero husband could easily lift three times your weight.

Katsuki narrowed his eyes at you playfully before picking you up, murmuring as he rolled his eyes, "I'm in love with a little tyrant."

"Your tyrant, daddy!"

"My tyrant. Now brush." He helped you when you got too tired to brush yourself, then grabbed your paci.

When you got really tired you regressed even younger than normal, often not talking- instead using charades and noises to get what you wanted. Like pointing and whining for your paci which wasn't in your mouth fast enough.

"I know I know, here you go." Katsuki's voice gentled even further, knowing that you got even more sensitive like this. "My baby." He kissed your forehead and your nose, smiling when you ducked your head shyly.

He got you both settled in bed and cuddled you close, knowing that tomorrow you'd be yourself and Katsuki, not baby and Daddy anymore. So he soaked up this last moment, giving you a booty rub to relax you further and kissing your forehead and cheeks until you both fell asleep.

[strawberryfloofs]

Caregiver Lucifer x Regressor w Trauma Headcanons !

When you first regressed in front of him, he was both confused and freaking out. I mean- he hasn't been the best father- and now there's a regressed person in front of him! In the midst of his panic, he called Charlie

"C-Charlie, hey! I uh- there's uh...an ad- uh child? Let's say child! Well uh- they're definitely not a child but- but they're crying and I don't know what to do-"

Charlie had to explain to him what age regression was. Sure he's the king of hell, but he never heard of it before- he's in his room making ducks afterall!

He didn't fully understand after the phone call, but it cleared up some things for him. He didn't have to fully understand age regression to want to make things better in that moment, so he did the only thing he could think of in that moment- walk up to you and hold out a rubber duck, squeezing it so you could hear it quack

"Hey there, um, you can have it. . . ducks make me feel better when I'm upset too"

He stood there awkwardly, not knowing how to comfort you, but he really did care. You looked so scared, upset, and sad. He sat next to you, he didn't know what was and wasn't okay in the moment, but he wanted you to know he was there.

When you felt better, you two spent the whole day together! More like- awkwardly following you around and making sure you didn't do anything dangerous

Once he finally got you to bed, he spent that night researching all about age regression. He stumbled upon a word he remembered Charlie mentioning, a caregiver, and he delved into it deeper and deeper. It was something he resonated with, and he wanted to be that for you. He hadn't been the best father for Charlie, but now he can do all the things he missed out on, with you!

The next day, he asked you about age regression and if he could be your caregiver- he was so happy when you said yes! But he was also sad to learn about how it's not always a pure thing for you, he vowed to always be there during impure regression or any type of big feelings that come up from the trauma and or (C)PTSD you hold.

After learning more about your past, he made it his mission to give you a much better childhood when you regress

And he does just that! You have a meltdown or tantrum? He doesn't judge, he's there through it all! You're done with your food but you didn't eat it all? That's okay, he saved it for later- you can go play now! You're scared you're a bad regressor and a burden? Nope! He reassures you and gives you all the words of affirmations in the world! You misbehaved? Off to timeout, a toy goes to toy-jail or lines! Wha- of course he wasn't gonna lay a hand on you, and your comfort items are safe- you still get them on punishments silly!

Lucifer calls you his little ducky, prince/princess/princex. He also loves to call you little one, bubby, duckling, kiddo, angel, and any nickname he'll think of for your preferred name

Now that he has a regressor, he spoils you in all the duck themed things he could think of! There is NO shortage on bath toys-

DEFINITELY the type of caregiver to dress his baby up in the cutest little outfits

He's very much a homebody, and would love if his regressor was as well! The type of caregiver to love cuddling up with his little one and watching movies together. He IS a blanket hogger, but he'll share- just for you.

Lucifer accepted and knew he'd never be a strict kinda caregiver- but he atleast wanted to stick to some rules, so he did! Well sorta- he's really weak to your puppy-dog eyes and pretty-please faces, so they get bent alot . . .

"Uhh, bedtime is at 10 pm ducky! Awww, well- just one more episode, and then straight to bed little one!"

You never went straight to bed, you guys fell asleep watching your favorite cartoon.

In reality, Lucifer is a very soft and easy-going caregiver, but he does have a lot of anxious feelings about doing his best for you, he doesn't want a repeat of Charlie! But it always warms his heart and makes him feel better when he sees drawings of the two of you- which he keeps in his duck workshop forever.

Very VERY protective and worried about you getting hurt, so if you guys ever go out, you NEED to be holding his hand! He'll put on the sweetest voice and face for you, but he WILL rain hell if anyone dares to upset his little baby. . .

If you like Razzle and Dazzle, you guys go visit the hotel just to play with them! Ooh, and sometimes he'll let them sleepover at his house!

Lucifer being your caregiver means your primary babysitters are Charlie (long-term) and Razzle n Dazzle (short-term). But make sure you don't mention Alastor around him if you tell Luci about your adventures at the hotel! He gets VERY possessive.

Lucifer knew caregiver titles existed- but pshh he never thought that he- I mean, him of all people- would ever be called one! So he was very taken aback and in shock when you dropped the first one.

"(caregiver name)- oOh, uh yeah that's me! *nervously laughs* yeah I'm your (cg name)!"

He's okay with anything, he loves anything, it just means alot and he teared up a little bit. Daddy, Dada, Bubba, Luci, etc whatever it is, you'll see him smile when he hears it!

Uses his connections as king of Hell to get you the best toys and any other little gear you want!

Always reads you bedtime stories, his favorite is The Ugly Duckling

Loves to be as involved in your play as possible! He loves pretend play and playing as the weirdest/funniest of all characters, your laughter and smiles are his reward!

He's very accepting of anything- even if he's physically bothered. You were eating applesauce with your fingers and touched his WHITE coat? It's fineeeee... You yanked his hat off and started biting it- oh go- I mean, it's fine! He doesn't wanna hurt your feelings, plus you're just a baby in his eyes!

"M-my hat- uh yeah, you can keep it just don- *chomp* bite it . . okay, well who's a good little one?! That's right, you are!" Requested by anon! I hope you enjoy and sorry for getting to this request so late!

[swee7dream]

the types of littles cg!dreamies would take care of caregiver!nct dream x gn!reader

a/n this is agere content ! all inappropriate interactions will be blocked. please don't interact if you sexualize age regression. thank you ! ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

mark lee (ᓀ‸ᓂ)

a regressor on the older side! probably someone that can communicate their needs and wants with ease.

i feel like mark would be the type of cg that loves teaching you about his passions. he would sit you on his lap and have his hands over yours as he helps you play hot cross buns on the keyboard.

out of all the dreamies, i feel that mark's tiny would be the most fascinated with music and all its elements. you and mark would most likely spend a lot of your tiny time together in a band where the drums are cups and your sticks are pencils.

he's definitely patient and does his best to fulfill his baby's requests no matter how deep in their imagination they come from.

you want a unicorn drink? he'll do his best to make a unicorn with whipped cream and chocolate chips on top of your hot cocoa! you want to go to mars? a trip to the space museum!

huang renjun ૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა

a middle (12-15) regressor is definitely someone renjun could go tit for tat with.

you do have lots of little arguments that leave you with your arms crossed but you're always grateful for renjun at the end of the day.

he definitely holds you accountable for habits you know are good for you but you just don't want to for one reason or another.

but it's not as if renjun is a dictator!

renjun is a big fan of dressing up. he's like a little kid on a field trip except instead of asking 'are we there yet?' he asks 'am i pretty? you're making me pretty, right?'

for some reason, i feel like renjun would like to take pictures of you (or pretend to if you don't like being pictured when little). he just thinks you're the cutest thing in the whole wide world! if his tiny felt embarrassed by his fawning he'd only kiss the embarrassment away before continuing to do it some more.

lee jeno ૮ .◜◡◝ა

regardless of age, lee jeno is less of a caregiver and more of a stuffed animal come to life. or maybe a gentle guard dog.

he's usually snoozing on the couch while his tiny plays in the same room. you may think he's asleep but when you try to leave just for a second you hear him go 'where are you going, gumdrop?'

he's a little overbearing at times, which could be a problem especially for regressors on the older side, but he means well!

despite what others might think when first looking at him, jeno is not an iron-fist type of cg. unlike renjun, jeno's tiny can get away with poking his buttons most of the time. keyword: most.

lee donghyuck ʕ˙Ⱉ˙‧:ʔ

cg!donghyuck screams teenage babysitter. he likes kids, but he's kind of too embarrassed to admit it so he tries keeping a distance.

the best pairing for donghyuck would be a bratty little, someone that makes him care. someone that's so unapologetically themselves that he also begins to not care about the anxieties plaguing his mind.

he's still a little annoying as a cg; knocking a piece of track a little to the left so your train rolls off its route, beginning to build his own ice cream store with the block you were about to use, holding up your animal crackers in exchange for some cute and embarrassing poses.

donghyuck and his tiny are fighting the war of getting on each others nerves and neither side is ever gonna win but they fight on anyways.

"i love you, Angel." "...love you too, Channie."

na jaemin ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭

not to put all age regressors in a box, but i feel that jaemin would do well with the image you get in your head when you think of agere. pastel colors, pacis, the whole shebang.

like renjun, he likes playing dress up but specifically enjoys dressing you up. always the prettiest dresses or suits, never letting you even close a button by yourself.

more than dress up though, he definitely likes playing royalty. he likes being either a brave knight that protects you from an evil dragon or your trusty and loyal butler.

jaem as a caregiver would be the most fun thing ever (in my opinion). still, that doesn't mean he's a total jeno i mean pushover. who wrote that? wow that's crazy...

anyway, cg!jaemin is a scary guy. it's at those times when you know you messed up, maybe you broke a vase or something, and you know he should be mad but he's not. he's disappointed. that's a thousand times worse somehow and so you promise him in tears that you'll never do it again.

zhong chenle (ᯟ︿ᯏ)

this guy. this guy is the scariest.

if you have any little buddies and chenle is your cg? you will probably hang out everywhere but his place.

it's a total illusion though, he's not scary at all. he's a big, loud, goofy guy. he's just a little blunt and the fact he wears sunglasses indoors that it scares all the more shy littles away. i feel like this is a bit of a struggle because i imagine that, like chenle, his tiny would be a very friendly social butterfly and their 'baby radar' is nearly 99% infallible.

chenle's tiny is like a well-behaved version of hae's. they're both little gremlins at times but chenle's would definitely keep it under wraps about it.

chenle's tiny has a phd in malicious compliance to chenle's manner rules. lots of "stern" stares full of longing and 'i need this' along with "juice box, please. juice box, please. juice box, please. juice box, p-"

however, they also double majored in kisses and crayon portraits so chenle doesn't even have a chance to get mad.

park jisung (∩˃o˂∩)

jisung's tiny is so teeny tiny and shy, even around him.

jisung is a one in a million man because he's the only one that can instinctively, telepathically, via sign language knows exactly what his baby needs without them having said a word.

it's usually quiet when you're little. maybe you're drawing, maybe you're sleeping, maybe you're just staring off into space. for jisung's little, their regression is just a time when everything can freeze for a second and all that matters is that their favorite plushie is clean and ready to cuddle with.

if jisung had one word to describe the role he has with his little, he would have to say a wall. something firm, something strong, something that ensures that nothing outside is let in and nothing inside seeps out.

a/n hello ! i'm working on some other projects but in the meantime, have this ! i have been posting some of my work also on ao3 so in case you're not on tumblr often, you can also find my one-shots there ! i think i'm gonna keep the bulletpoints here for now tho. i'm hoping you're all having a great start to your springgg (or autumnif ur in the southern hemisphere). oh, i also have question for you! putting aside ur actual dream bias, who do you think would be the best cg for you? me personally, i feel like either jisung or jaemin hehe

[starsurface]

Pt 3/3 of the Babyspace Regressor Hcs!! :D

Some might be a bit out of character, but I don't like imagining Bi-Han as this mean, spiteful lover. Don't get me wrong, he isn't perfect and definitely needs to work through some issues, but he'd probably, eventually, realize that screaming at you for little things doesn't work in a relationship.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

CG Bi-Han w/ Babyspace Regressor Hcs

❄️ He does adore you, even if he doesn't always tell you

❄️ Actually really likes baby regressors because he thinks they're less matiedence

❄️ Like, don't get him wrong, he'll love you no matter what headspace you regress to

❄️ But he doesn't have to chase a big kid around the house, or have to pick up after craft activities (which he'll still do because he loves you)

❄️ But he does prefer to just lay back and cuddle, maybe watch some cartoons if you want

❄️ . . . Unless you're an active regressor like Tomas, he's gotta keep on his toes!!

❄️ You were just sitting beside him, how on earth did you crawl all the way to the kitchen and start chewing on a fork in the minute he looked away??

❄️ You just giggle and show him your new fork friend, which he'll take away because he's a big meanie >:( (and he doesn't want metal in your mouth)

❄️ Is much more willing to buy you regression items than to buy himself stuff

❄️ Your his baby, of course he's going to spoil you

❄️ If you mention you like something, or look at it too long, expect it on your bed with a little note

❄️ No ifs or buts, he likes spoiling you and he's gonna do it >:(

❄️ Doesn't NOT like leaving you with others

❄ ️You're his baby!! He doesn't trust others to babysit you!!

❄️ Will also act like your the one dependent on him (no one believes him, he's just as clingy as you some days)

❄️ Although he gets really busy sometimes, so unfortunately you do need a babysitter (being the Grandmaster takes up a lot of his time unfortunately)

❄️ Tomas and Kuai Liang are his go to babysitters

❄️ ^ And surprisingly Raiden? He's very good with regressors, especially babyspace regressors

❄️ Favorite CG nicknames are Dada and Bi

❄️ Got super confused the first time you babbled in front of him and wondered if you were trying to tell him something important

❄️ ^ Don't worry, he got better over time

❄️ Babble encourager, but also gets so lost sometimes

❄️ Completely panicked the first time you needed something and all you could do was babble

❄️ Favorite nicknames for you are Snowflake, Sweetheart, Honey, and Little One

❄️ Doesn't really like going outside while your small

❄️ Not because he's embarrassed or ashamed of you (and he'll freeze anyone who dare thinks otherwise) but because it's easier to regress inside the comforts of your own rooms

❄️ Although if you wanna have a snow day . .

He won't say no

❄️ He'll take you outside, probably making you wear an outfit that you can barely move in, and will help you make a small snowman and snow angels

❄️ Usually he doesn't do PDA (massive cuddle bug behind closed doors though) but if your clingy out in public, he won't belittle you, that wouldn't be nice

❄️ You better believe you aren't leaving his side when your small

❄️ No Sir, he has a constant watch over you!!

❄️ What if you got hurt? Or crawled and touched something you shouldn't have? He can't chance it!!

❄️ Because of this, most times he'll carry you around on his hip or have you snuggle up to him

❄️ If you're super clingy, that's great!!

❄️ If you want a tiny bit more independence, just tell him and he'll change according to your preference

❄️ His favorite activity is cuddle time, where he can swaddle you and hold you for hours

❄️ But if you like playing a bit more, he can do tummy time

❄️ Would prefer you laying on him, but he guesses he can buy you a playmat 😒 (he'll look for the best one with little to no hesitation)

❄️ Finds it funny if you try to eat his nose, but will redirect you to a paci or chewie

❄️ If you ever regresser because of his anger issues or such, he'd feel so terrible

❄️ Tries his hardest to make it up too, he never meant to hurt you like that

❄️ Doesn't yell at you while you're small, but there have been a few close calls

❄️ Luckily, he's learnt a bit how to control his anger, and will instead give you the most nastiest ‘Knock it off’ glare if your being naughty on purpose

❄️ Although honestly, your so small and tiny, you rarely ever get the glare

❄️ How could he punish a baby for their crimes? You never meant to knock over your plate of food, he understands it was an accident

❄️ If you use diapers, he'll always make sure to have an extra box in his closet just in case

❄️ Another CG that's very sweet and comforting when it comes to diapers

❄️ Although warning, his fingers are really cold >:(

❄️ Actually, he's really cold in general

❄️ If you wanna cuddle him, you'll have to wear a few layers (a fuzzy onesie should be fine)

❄️ He'll also wrap you up in a few blankets before cuddling with you, just in case

❄️ While he does keep most of his intimidating persona (it's hard to drop, even around you) he does try to be more gentler because of how tiny you are

❄️ If you call him out for It, he'll pour and deny it, calling you silly

❄️ If someone else points it out, they're frozen on spot (Johnny almost missed his photo shoot because of it)

❄️ He'd use his powers to make you little snowflakes!!!

❄️ Like Rain, doesn't like using his powers for reasons he deems ‘silly’

❄️ But is also very prideful in his abilities, and adores showing them off

❄️ I just feel like he'd really like tapping your nose when you do something funky

❄️ Doesn't give much verbal praise, more kisses your temple and gives you a treat

❄️ If you want verbal praise though? Just tell him and he'll try his hardest

❄️ Man is usually a very tough and strict guy, but you melt his icy heart <3 (hehe)

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I actually really like Bi-Han. Some people make him super mean (and I'm not saying he's not) but it gets intense sometimes. :(

Hope you enjoyed!! :D

[8-rae-rae-8]

Agere!Trans!Ghost with Johnny and their little baby <3

Angst upon ye

Simon hasn't slept a full night in far far too long. Then again, with an actual baby and painful *everything*, he couldn't exactly sleep. Johnny could, which pissed him off to no end - but he won't say that, nor wake him up.

The kid had a pair of lungs on them, that's for sure. Waking Simon up every single fucking night. And tonight was no different.

Their little one woke up screaming in the middle of the night. And Simon tried *everything*. A bottle, a change, skin to skin contact, some lullabies... Nothing worked.

So Simon stood in the nursery bouncing the newborn on his chest as the kid sobbed. Himself in tears too. He hadn't had a break. Awake all night, with minimal naps during the day while Johnny had the wee one. He was regressing, well, fighting it. He couldn't regress with a kid in his arms.

He was jealous. Both because the kid had a parent that wanted to be up and caring for them, and because he couldn't relax and sleep like the baby could. And fuck, he was jealous of Johnny, sleeping peacefully and being so *fucking happy* all the time with the kid.

Why wasn't he happy? The kid was wonderful, full of love. And Simon just wanted to ignore the cries while being unable to set them down. He couldn't let the kid hurt like he did. He didn't want to let them go.

But everything was so much. Tears were in his eyes, spilling down his cheek.

"I know- I know I'm not bubba... Bubba would know what to do- 'm so sorry-" Simon whispered to the baby, voice breaking. Simon felt so small. Tiny and useless with a little baby in his arms that he couldn't put down.

Johnny would know what to do. But he couldn't get his feet to move.

-

Johnny first stirred when the bed got cold. Waking up slowly to the sound of not only their baby crying, but Simon's sad whimpers of his crying. He wishes Simon would just wake him up when the baby cried.

Slowly, he got out of bed and made his way to the nursery. He blearily blinked as he leaned on the nursery doorframe.

"Simon? Darling?" Johnny muttered.

Simon looked like a weight was taken off of his shoulders.

"Bubba- bubba, I tried- I tried everything-" Simon whimpered, looking at the door.

The crying baby was taken gently out of Simon's arms, and he was guided over to the nursery rocking chair.

"Ye did so good... The wee one needs ta cry it out, I think..." Johnny whispered, sitting down and patting his lap to pull Simon in close.

Simon laid in his lap, burying his face in Johnny's neck. The little one eased slightly as Johnny held them.

"it's okay, Si..." Johnny kissed his head. He held both the baby and Simon, even if it was a little bit of a hassle and mess. But he wouldn't trade it for the world.

"'m sorry bubba-" Simon hiccuped.

"Ye did everything right, I promise.." Johnny frowned a little.

"W-why won't they stop crying??" Simon sobbed into Johnny's neck, tugging at his shirt slightly.

"I don't know, lovie... Sometimes wee babies need to cry it out." Johnny tried to assure him. He carefully grabbed something from the side table and put it on Simon's head. Noise cancelling headphones.

It soothed him slightly. Enough for him to loosen his grip and breathe.

Soft kisses on his head and the vibrations of humming from Johnny's chest made his eyes slowly close.

The baby quieted over time, which got Simon to relax more as well. It only took a little for both of them to fall asleep on Johnny. And Johnny just stayed put, happily holding them both. Even if he'd get a cramp later.

[thegempage]

gonna elaborate on one of the steps from this post of mine about my ideal narilamb dynamic bcus i want to talk about them jfdklasjkfds so go check that out for context

but the idea (which i'm going to put under a cut bcus i love to Talk)

i'm thinking this is like, partway through their decade-ish phase where they're going from "mutual bitter betrayal" to "on friendly terms again," and the lamb is charged with re-killing and subsequently indoctrinating the bishops. which like... is gonna stir up a Lot of feelings (i also hc, in this case, that the bishop situation doesn't come up for at least a few years after the lamb initially defeats narinder, hence being in the mid phase) bcus the lamb thought they were striking down the bishops responsible for the horrors they've faced the first time, and now some asshole in a cloak is telling them they didn't do it right. plus narinder thought he was free of his siblings and ever having to confront the feelings he has about them but now they're going to be Here and he can't Hide Forever bcus he's far enough into healing that the lamb would be sad if he regressed back into isolation (and also he's been getting more involved with the day-to-day cult stuff and him disappearing would cause Issues)

(also. tbh i think narinder starts falling back in love first, bcus i feel like he spent so long stuffing down his feelings that now that he has a body that can Feel Emotions Physically he has a harder time ignoring them. not that he'd bring that up at this point but like, he's in a weird love/hate/desire for healing cycle with the lamb that they are Vaguely aware of but don't want to push bcus their own feelings on the matter are just as complicated and they Do Not want to address those)

so the lamb gets this mission to kill leshy again and take him in. they kind of talk to narinder about it but don't bring up all the details bcus they're not sure what they're going to do about leshy once he's in the cult, and they don't Necessarily trust narinder's first reaction to seeing his baby brother again, nor do they trust leshy to be around narinder for at Least a week or two, possibly longer. so narinder just knows the basics of the plan, and then the lamb fucking Disappears for a bit to get this done. narinder is stewing in his feelings while he runs the cult with the lamb's other disciples and he's not having a Great time. one may even accurately accuse him of having a Bad time. no one is going to bcus fuck if anyone is going to bring up that he seems to be in a bad mood more often these days.

the lamb comes back with leshy. narinder is Not a fan of this choice but it's not like he had any way of denying it, bcus the lamb Has to do something about the bishops or shit is gonna get bad, and even if he wishes they would just kill him, the lamb isn't exactly known for that (their tendency toward second chances, after all, is the only reason he's going through this). the lamb keeps them apart for a while until leshy settles in and it's clear he's not in any immediate danger of dissenting, at the very least. narinder still kind of avoids him bcus he's pissed off that leshy was involved in imprisoning him and he's afraid that leshy is upset with him about tearing out his eyes (he is, but he's not about to have that argument without back up).

and narinder and the lamb have managed to go a little while without arguing about anything big, bcus they're both trying to work on that (and the arguments are never Actually what they're about so it's not like they were getting anywhere), but narinder is so on edge about leshy that he snaps at the lamb and they snap back bcus they're on edge about heket and this mysterious cloaked figure (which narinder can Kind of see but not yet communicate with, for other reasons i have hcs for about his return to divinity and will maybe one day elaborate on separately). they get into a shouting match about the lamb's choices about what to do about the bishops and how much of those choices are actually in their control and how much each of them is upset about these developments and how much narinder does Not want to see his other three siblings again, and really it's about narinder feeling left out of the thought processes and the lamb feeling like they can't trust him to be involved and therefore having no one to turn to bcus it's not like they can address these issues with their regular ass mortal disciples and also both of them are heavily traumatized by the bishops and don't want to acknowledge said trauma. it's messy and loud and they both walk away pissed

but the important thing is after they walk away from said argument they both feel guilty about it. and they've always felt Bad walking away from shouting matches and they've occasionally felt a Little guilty about big arguments but this is the first time they've both been like "fuck, maybe we could have talked that out instead of yelling" so they regroup and apologize for parts of it and kind of talk about other parts (they're still not Completely there, to be clear, we're still in the "figuring out wtf is happening between us" phase) and the lamb lets narinder in more on their plans for heket and asks for his advice on dealing with her after she's brought into the cult and about how much he wants to be involved. which starts the ball rolling faster on them starting to make up bcus now they're on more equal footing and narinder feels less like he's being blocked from the important parts and the lamb feels less isolated in the process of dealing with the people responsible for so much of the pain in their life

and if like.......... narinder has a few dreams that he dwells on for a while or stares at the lamb too intensely during sermons. well that's his business. the lamb definitely doesn't think about him while they run solo crusades or while they're alone in the evenings, wandering around and helping out the night crew with the occasional tasks, not if you asked them

(there's also a decent amount of timespan involved with this, but that's not as important jfkldsajdf in my head this takes place over the course of about four months, from the mysterious seller appearing to them starting discussions about heket, with bringing in all four bishops taking about a year and a half total, potentially closer to two years depending on narinder's reactions to heket and kallamar and the seasons' effects on the lamb)

[nqctar]

can you please write literally anything for cg!wonbin😖😖 im so obsessed with him and saw that you were accepting reqs i think so.. thank you

of course!

❀ cg! wonbin x little reader

pairings: cg! wonbin x reader. genre: sfw age regression, fluff. warnings: no major warnings apply.

박원빈 / park wonbin ❀ 

absolutely loves buying you stuffies. you don't even have to ask, it's like every time you see him, he has a new one for you!!

he's so so sweet, very lenient on rules for the most part. lets you have cookies whenever you ask!

sometimes while you're colouring you look over at him & he's just staring at you with a smile on his face

you're like "whatttt" and giggle because you're starting to feel shy

he just calls you cute & kisses your forehead!

as for nicknames he calls you, i think he sticks with baby. wonbin loves calling his little 'baby.'

likes holding your hand a lot while you're regressed, even if you two are just sitting next to each other.

ok ok something i think wonbin would do with his little is pick daisies

like you'd pick soooo many and put them all in his hair

he'd just be like "thank you so much baby!!'

sings you to sleep, especially before a nap. you hate naps but he makes it better!

i feel like the two of you would go to the park a lot. and maybe not to just play, but sit down and have a picnic sometimes!

you'd lay across from him and babble if you're feeling really little.

he'd respond as if he understood everything you were saying.

"you're so right, baby!"

loves it when you cling to him. wonbin will literally NEVER complain if you're being extra clingy.

another cg in riize that would do everything for you!

you could be trying to pour yourself more apple juice & wonbin is all like

"you're too little to do that, i don't want you to get hurt!"

i can't see him being a strict cg. like of course he'll remind you to use your inside voice if he thinks you're being too loud, or he'll tell you to pick up all of your stuffies if you left them on the living room floor

but he's never too serious.

while you're colouring or playing, he'll come over and ask you what you're doing.

he'll ask you what you're playing, and then ask if he can play too!!

i think he'd take playing games with you seriously. like if you two were playing doctor, he'd stumble around, act like he broke his arm or something, complain about how slow the service is etc.

you'd be like

"there's just one of me!!"

not too sure about titles! you could call him anything you want, he'd be okay with that.

another cg!riize hc i could go on and on abt. i love wonbin so much <3

[thebabyprince]

OK SO THIS POST IS FOR @spongebob636 AND @charlieqs WHO ASKED FOR LITTLE!WALLACE (and cg!Mobile!!!) hi guys!!!!

Sorrrryyy your question got deleted, i accidentaly sent it into queue and couldn't get it back :(

i'm personally not picky at all so in my perfect EVERYONE REGRESSES AND EVERYONE CAREGIVES so here ya go!! :3

Little!Wallace (and a bit of Cg!Mobile!!)

Wallace was always the caretaker. Almost never on the receiving side. It's how it always was, so he says he got quite used to it. He had a ton of experience as a caregiver, but the thought of regressing himself never crossed his mind.

That was until Mobile came along. Who is, as we know, very intense, and likes to ask a lot of very logical questions Wallace can't answer. Which confused him when they first started dating, cause hey, he's the normal, stable, and rational one!

"Daily alcohol consumption is not very rational" "...... :/" "Drinking 2 liters of diet coke every day is not very rational" "...... :/" "Neither is falling asleep in your outside clothes" "Sorry :("

Sad little guy got scolded for the first time since he was 10 and spent the whole evening sulking, apologizing for something that he has little control over and craving comfort. Poor boy. He wanted hugs! Cuddles! He wanted to be told he's good and everything's alright!

And Mobile provided just that, and even let him fall asleep on his lap as he works.

"Have you considered the thought you age regress yourself?" "No" "Clearly".

Wallace would describe his little age as either around 7, or just "Dunno, tinier than usual".

It took him a lot of time to actually learn to accept care when he regresses. His first few times regressing he was anxious he'd be too much, so he kept insisting on how he could do everything himself, he's a big boy, don't worry, he can handle everything!!

Then he got his shoes tied for him and he got very emotional.

Then he got called "Wally" and he cried.

Wallace is a very talkative and attentive little! Needs to know all the gossip even though he's 7 years old. Also asks a ton of questions

"Whatcha dooin? :3 What's that thing for? Did you know that?..."

He's very hard to put down to sleep cause he wants to talk and talk and talk!

I think he'd enjoy hanging out with baby/toddler regressors while he's regressed, and being the big brother!! He's very social, so he has many and many playdates

Also! Little vampire Wallace! It's his favorite play pretend! He wraps a blanket around himself like a cape, makes bite marks with a red marker and runs around munching on fruit and hissing on lamps.

[multi-fandom-agereg]

Hi hi! Love your writing! Can I request headcanons of cg hobie brown? I think he'd be so fun! There needs to be more spidervere agere

‹ 🎸 › Hobie Brown As a Caregiver

🎀 : As much as I don't like to post after I already posted recently, I couldn't pass a hobie headcanon. Thank you for asking anon! Hope you enjoy :] ✨

🎸 : unlike Miles and Pravitr he's completely a rebellious caregiver. Bedtimes? Nah, rules? Not unless you really need them, and he encourages you to get in a little of his shenanigans here and there

🎸 : he often gets his ear torn off by the others about how he takes care of you

🧸 : he has a hard time directly comforting when you need it. He's not around it alot and since you're in a vulnerable state he has to find his own ways to help you

🧸 : even if it's just a pat on the shoulder or telling you you're fine

☕ : He's not the one to use petnames. At first he didn't use them at all or kept forgetting, but slowly began calling you them now and again

☕ : punk/bugger/kid/rebellion/little dude is his usual petnames for you

☕ : he's not that affectionate either, though that doesn't mean he doesn't like a good cuddle or hug sometimes. In fact he finds it comforting, but he won't admit it

🎸 : out of all the spider people, he is the most active when it came taking you places and getting you out of the house. Pravitr loves Taking you places like parks, sure. But what about carnivals, pools, hiking and concerts? Hobie is your guy for that stuff

🎸 : "Hey, little dude, how about instead of sleeping we skip to go to a concert? I heard they're selling cotton candy!~"

☕ : he might've snuck you out of the house several times during his times of taking care of you— even if he gets an earful from Miguel or Gwen the most at the end

🎸 : if he upsets you in any way, he'd just write letters to you and give them to you full of apologies. Usually containing: horrible drawings (don't worry he tried his best), him writing sentences on sentences of him being sorry, and just sappy things

🎸 : he apologizes like you're about to bite him for it

☕ : "They asked for no pickles.."

🎸 : he'll never admit it, but he can get jealous whenever you're being babysat with someone else that isn't him. like.. so jealous he'd tear up

🎸 : don't worry though, a simple hug or you just being yourself around him makes him feel instantly better

☕ : "back off, man, they're just a kid."

🎸 : not overprotective but protective enough to tell others to back off if you're overwhelmed. If Miguel expects you to do a heavy job Hobie will do it instead instantly.. maybe scold Miguel a bit in the process

🧸 : If you happen to fall asleep that isn't in your bed, he'd carry you "bridal pose" or pick you up by your armpits and make sure you're covered up and comfortable in your room. Don't worry he'll let you have your sleep. Afterall a little one like you needs it

‹ 🎸 › Mini fic of CG!Hobie — "You're too little for that"

🧸 : for all little ages! This is just hobie babying you

hobie studied you from across the room, seeing you quietly make cupcakes for the others. No special occasion but you thought it would be nice thing to do Afterall. Lately you've been secretly Regressing, feeling bad for it you kept it to yourself. Hobie started to catch on but you'd quickly denied it or do something that made him forget about your behavior change. It worked for a few days but hobie knew you a bit too well. He's been your caregiver for about two months so there wasn't going around it. Not now or anytime soon. Before you know it you slipped completely. you try to grasp the little parts you have left to stay big, but it was too late. Hobie raised an eyebrow, catching on what happened. Even though in your regressed state, you continue to make the cupcakes. You weren't even half done.. and this was harder than it looked. You grabbed the ingredients and put it inside the blender, about to turn it on before a soft hand cupped yours, stopping you in your tracks. You looked up to see Hobie, who had a curious look on his face. It was almost unreadable but you can tell he was more confused than anything.. maybe just his neutral expression? He just tilted his head at you before he let out a soft chuckle. "Hey, hey how.. c'mon, kid.. you aren't getting past me with that 'oh I'm a big kid' bullcrap.. you're too little to bake by yourself. Here, let me help you..”

🎀 : SUGGESTIONS ALWAYS OPEN FOR ANY FANDOM! +mini fics like this are now open! So suggest that if you'd like ✨

[missmagooglie]

The promo for next week is what made it clear that Buck is regressing regressing. All that bullshit he's suggesting to Chim? All those proposals that Bobby (correctly) said were just a list of potential calls?

That's Season 1 Buck talking. That's Early Abby Days, pre She Needs You To Step Inside With Her Buck who wants love and romance but doesn't know what it's supposed to look like. That's a version of Buck who isn't ready for something quite so grown up.

Our Buck, Season 6 Buck, knows better than that. He knows Chimney and he knows Maddie and if he stopped and thought about it for half a second he would realize that a big showy proposal isn't right for them. He'd realize that the right approach is something more personal, more intimate. It's Chimney sitting Maddie down and saying, 'we both know there are plenty of reasons we "should" get married, but let me take a minute to make sure you understand the reasons I want to marry you', and giving Maddie space to express all the reasons she's hesitant rather than putting her on the spot with something public that pressures her into saying yes without a conversation.

Buck's been different since the lightning strike, sure. It was a big event, it had a profound psychological effect. But I think the bigger issue here is that Buck has been growing and changing and maturing for the past 6 seasons and he hasn't had a chance yet to properly acknowledge that to himself and update his self-concept. I think the reason we're seeing Buck regress so hard is because he's consciously trying to act like "the same old Buck", but his understanding of "what it means to be Buck" hasn't kept up with the growth he's been doing.

At the gravesite, Buck says he feels like Natalia "really sees him" - which, let's be real, is an insane thing to say about a person you've just met on a good day. And he's saying it to Eddie, who the writers have made abundantly clear is the one person who most sees Buck and understands him and has seen his growth and his insecurities even when others don't.

But the thing I think Buck is getting from Natalia is actually the opposite of what Buck thinks he's getting from her. When Buck says "she sees me", he means "She only sees this me. She doesn't know the man who died, just the man who woke up again."

And while there is some value in that, mostly in allowing himself to be his "now" self without worrying about how it might or might not align with his past self, I think Buck also needs someone who can help him understand that those two versions of himself are closer to each other than he thinks. And the version of himself he's trying to be for the sake of everyone else (ie "the same old Buck") is not the version of him that his loved ones lost at the top of that ladder.

The lightning strike changed Buck - after all, how could it not? And Buck, being someone who is so used to being left behind, is naturally worried that changing who he is will cause the people he loves to leave. But that isn't something Buck needs to be afraid of, because he's been changing for a long time now and he has people who love every version of him, and will continue to love every version that comes next.

And I keep thinking about that choice to have Christopher fall asleep on the couch just like Buck did, the way it puts Christopher and Buck in the same category for Eddie - that category of "family" and "home". Because Christopher is changing too. He's growing up. The man he is going to slowly become is not the same person as the boy he is now, and it is understood that while some of that growth might be painful it is normal and natural and to be expected. And there is not a single direction in which Christopher could grow that would make Eddie love him even a little bit less.

When Buck realizes that Eddie loves him the same way? That there is no version of Buck that Eddie will not love with his whole heart? And when he doesn't just realize it, but actually believes it?

That's the endgame, baby.

[jacksprostate]

Tyler always liked to pull shit at night. Maybe that's why I went along with it, when he showed up after a month of leaving Paper Street and all its monkeys and me without an owner. Tyler always liked to pull shit at night, so I had become habituated, and when Tyler showed up on a sunny afternoon Sunday with a pickaxe slung long over his shoulder, I didn't interrogate him on where he'd been. Why he left. I didn't want to break the perfect image of his return, and if I'm honest, asking what we were going to be doing as he led me out of the house never crossed my mind.

I usually didn't ask Tyler why we were going to do anything, so maybe that was habituated into me, too.

The reason Tyler came back, I found out, was to tell me I was hopeless. That I was a piece of shit, that I'd never amount to anything, that he had the lowest of expectations and I still couldn't pass muster. He said this as we walked. The voice of my father, all the shit he never outright said.

I told Tyler, What did you expect? You left me.

Maybe I whined it, I don't know. I didn't know what he wanted from me. I still don't.

Tyler said, "I leave for one moment, push baby out the nest, and you crumple. You're a plucked stool-looking pigeon splat on city concrete. You're the roadkill you see on the side of the road, so useless even the vultures ignore you. You regressed."

Where are we going, Tyler? I asked. We were down the road by then, far enough that the space monkeys maintaining the front lawn couldn't see or hear us. I guess Tyler respected me enough to make my discipline private.

Tyler ignored me, as usual, and continued. "I give you one chance to do anything on your own, and you do nothing. You go to work. You go to fight club like it's work, like it's one of your pointless little groups. Like it's hospice. You're so dependent you hang on your own men hoping they'll tell you what to do. I come back and you're wasting away reading Reader's Digest as all the shit I've built for you works its wonders, and you don't even try to join in directing it."

Now, You didn't give me orders, I said. You didn't tell me my part in this, what was I supposed to do?

Tyler rolled his eyes.

"Do you think you're too good for it? You need your own hand delivered invitation?"

No, I said. Spluttering.

"You had your invitation to join. All you needed to do was anything."

Now here we are. In the middle of the street. If I knew I'd failed all his little tests, maybe I would've said no when he showed back up. I want to laugh at the idea of it, but I'm too busy trying to figure out what my punishment will be.

Tyler lets the pickaxe fall. The noise it makes hitting the asphalt clatters between the warehouses. We're past the paper mill now, and the scent of wood shavings and cancer and ass has been replaced by rot and puke. Off of Paper Street lives a processing plant for all the unloved rejects of the supermarket. Recalled, expired, unneeded. Working a place like this, you lose your sense of smell in days. The hairs in your nose fall out and your tongue turns black. Eggs three months old. Fruit like black leather. Baked goods more mold than wheat. They grind it up and feed it down the drains. Sometimes, when there's a storm so big it floods the entire basement, noxious sludge escapes the toilet and sinks at the house. All the colors of the rainbow, consistency somewhere between cottage cheese and blended rotten meat.

For a moment, I stare transfixed as Tyler rolls his shoulders, sweat glistening on them like the first day I ever saw him.

He says, "Take a step back."

I do.

Tyler flips the pickaxe point-down, leverages it into a hole on the manhole cover I'd been standing on, and pulls it out and to the side in one smooth move. Fight club has always been better than the gym.

Looking down, the stench makes the air wave like heat. There's a rusted ladder half broken on the side of the hole. About eight feet down lies everything which should be getting shipped to a biodigester, couched in human shit and vomit and whatever else the processing plant produces.

Suddenly, I realize the disease that's everywhere now may be the least of my concerns. Tyler's hand is on my shoulder.

Tyler says, "Consider it a more direct test of faith."

When Tyler pushes me, it's not that I didn't know it was going to happen. I did. As soon as he opened up the manhole, I knew what was going to happen. I didn't run. I knew I couldn't. I braced myself and fell flat over the hole, and I felt what had to be one of my vertebrae crack. I felt the road eat at my arms and face.

"You think you're shit, you want to rot away," Tyler says. He circles me. I reach out to crawl away, he steps on my hand. "Fine. Rot with everything else."

He kicks at my side. My kidneys. My stomach. My ribs. I'm curling in on myself before I know it, my spine is screaming. I am screaming. I'm curling up, fetal, drooping into oppressive warmth. Back to the womb.

A moment of vertigo, and I've fallen out of the nest for real. Baby bird, splat in the sewers.

I am filth.

I can feel chunks between my fingers.

I fell, and the top of my head ricocheted. I'm used to it ringing. My blood drips in my hair along with something else.

A film is crawling over me. It's hard to breathe. The air hurts. I'm retching, I'm contributing.

I look up, and Tyler is there. Total eclipse of the sun.

He says, "Crawl out yourself. I'm done fixing things for you."

I can't see his face. I'm getting every disease on the planet, and it's a warm sunny day.

He says, "You have all the chances. It's about time you take them."