#i don't spend nearly enough time thinking about mother's ruin

[silverview]

guys getting hurt dot com slash sad little perverts

[friendlylifecherry]

Idea for the Gavin parents since we don't hear anything about them and I want to speculate: Kristoph and Klavier's parents both played favorites. Their mother liked Klavier better, their father preferred Kristoph. Mrs. Gavin seemed to resent her eldest from the day he was born, calling him a "devil child" and never showing him any affection. Mr. Gavin knew how it affected Kristoph and made it his mission to be the parent that could and would be there for Kristoph. Then Klavier was born (he was an accident; not like Kristoph was planned either, but there's a difference between "pleasant surprise" and "life-ruining misfortune" that Kristoph knew all too well) and Mrs. Gavin just loved him from first sight, showering him with affection. That's when Kristoph and Mr. Gavin realized: oh, it wasn't that she resented motherhood, she just hated Kristoph.

Mr. Gavin hated it and thus, hated Klavier. He was always some "spoiled brat" in his eyes. The couple's fights over how they treated their respective sons really only got worse ever since Klavier was born. Every day, Kristoph just wished they could get a divorce. Hell, he wished that they would just both die so they could leave him and Klavier in peace.

Klavier could tell. The boy was not nearly as dumb as some may think he is. He saw how mom would give him kisses and hugs and glare at Kristoph whenever he was just working quietly. He saw how father would readily praise Kristoph for his excellent grades and conduct in school, yet everything Klavier did was met with scorn and disdain.

It was the night that Kristoph graduated from college that it all went to hell. They were home, and their parents made dinner (Mr Gavin had to deliberately make Kristoph's favorites, since Mrs. Gavin refused to, again). Klavier mentioned he wanted to take the Themis Acadamey accelerated legal course. Their dad had opinions, negative ones, and that started their worst argument yet. This wasn't a normal argument, though. This was the kind you only found in songs about toxic romance. Screaming, cursing, throwing things, using everything that ever angered them against the other. And, of course, their sons were caught in the crossfire.

It wasn't until a plate very nearly hit a cowering Klavier in the head that Kristoph decided that he had enough. He stood up, excused himself, dragged Klavier away, and drove Klavier straight to Daryan's house. Kristoph handed him part of his graduation gift money, telling him to go spend time with Daryan and order pizza or something. He'll be back in a few hours after their parents are done. Which was the first sign that something was deeply wrong. Kristoph hated Daryan and never gave anyone money he got for gifts, he always saved it away.

It wasn't until a few hours later into a jam session that really wasn't going anywhere with Klav looking like he's about to puke when Kristoph came back. He looked... bad. When Klavier left the house to see him, Kristoph just gave him a hug, shivering. The second sign, Kristoph never showed affection in public or showed that he was scared of anything.

The whole drive back home was just terrifying. Klavier didn't have the guts to ask what happened, not when Kristoph was deliberately keeping his hands on the wheel and eyes on the road the whole time, white knuckling the wheel as they made their way home.

Then, they pulled up to the house to find it surrounded by emergency services. That's when Kristoph admits it: their parents were fighting, and he got so upset that he punched the old furnace. It's why he's holding his hand like that [this is where he got the scar]. Then, when they just started getting louder, he screamed at them. Kristoph never screamed at his parents before, and when he was done, he left before he could get in trouble. But he got worried when neither of them tried to call after he left, so he called emergency services. That's when they started to wheel out Mr and Mrs Gavin to the ambulances.

They had suffered from CO poisoning since the way Kristoph hit the old furnace managed to let the fumes in. Mrs. Gavin would die in the hospital, having never woken up again. Mr. Gavin survived but needed around-the-clock care due to the mental deficits he had gotten. Part of that was hypophonia or soft speech. He could barely even talk after waking up, and whatever he did speak was slow and full of stammering. As of AA6, he hasn't spoken in 5 years and hasn't spoken to Klavier since he was 15, at least 10 years on.

Kristoph won't acknowledge anything about this, not a single word. But after he turned 18 and started university, he would make a little mark in the side of the furnace once a day, out of sight but with plenty of room for Kristoph to maneuver. It took years, wearing down on the side of the furnace while stuck in that deeply unhappy home. But that night, he had finally grown sick enough of them to set his plan into motion. After dropping off Klavier, he came back and punched the furnace, just as he had told Klavier, but the strike was right at that point that he had been weakening with pinpoints, nails, and anything small and vaguely sharp over these long 4 years. The mark on his hand wasn't ideal, to say the least, but he was able to get out 22 years of burning frustration with them not being able to do a thing as he went out to his car and drove off with a muted phone.

Kristoph covered up the bruising as best as he could, then after waiting another hour, figured that now would be a good time to get Klavier, calling emergency services after he reached Daryan's house.

He knows it's his deliberate planning that killed his mother and crippled his father for life. He's a horrible person and knows it. That's how he got the first black Psyche-lock.

[chameleonspell]

HTDC commentary - 17: VCDRKAA & 18: language & 19: knowledge & 20: again

[Looking back at HTDC after nearly ten years: comments on lore, character notes, influences, art, whatever. May contain spoilers for later chapters.]

chapter text: 17: VCDRKAA & 18: language & 19: knowledge & 20: again

I hope no one was expecting a line-by line complex exegesis of chapter 17, because I generated a wall of TEXTSLOP. It was never intended to mean anything specific, although I did edit it selectively, for poetry and interest. I didn't really expect anyone to read it, I just wanted them to open the chapter and go "what the fuck is this shit??"

I think I used this page to generate it, which must be twenty years old, at the absolute minimum, and the code is from the 1990s. It's beyond irritating that Markov chain text generators, along with other venerable methods of cut-up and creative mixology, are probably now tarred with the same brush as bullshit like chatGPT. Anyway, you could call it a Small Language Model, in that it only uses the text you put into it, doesn't steal it to do plagiarism, and doesn't require the energy and water usage of a small country to run.

I... had totally forgotten which texts I put into it, and had to spend way too long cross-checking fragments. All I remembered was that the nonsense-title of the chapter was taken from the title-letters of the input books, and it was supposed to be things Iriel had recently encountered, to represent a chaotic vomiting of his subconscious.

I think it's this:

V = 36 Lessons of Vivec

C = Chimarvamidium

D = The Book of Dawn and Dusk

R = A Less Rude Song

K = The Ruins of Kemel-Ze

A = Song of the Alchemists

A = Words of Clan Mother Ahnissi

...but I'm pretty sure there's also Special Flora of Tamriel there, in an uncredited role. I don't think that, or Song of the Alchemists is mentioned as something Iriel reads in-fic, but since Ire's an alchemist, I shovelled them into the word-hopper, too. I suspect I never noticed at the time that Song of the Alchemists is not an alchemical textbook, but silly Marobar Sul doggerel, and not exactly something Iriel would read.

Anyway, please do go ahead and cancel me for "writing fic with AI".

Playlist pick: Of Montreal - Heimdalsgate Like A Promethean Curse. For when you really, really need the drugs to work. Or something to work. Anything. It's all just chemicals, right? C'MON, CHEMICALS!

Once we're done with the psychedelic breakdown, we have a temptation scene, specifically, Iriel wakes up in a wizard's bed, and barely resists intellectual seduction by House Telvanni.

The mage laid the book across the bed and opened it, revealing page after page of writing in Dwemer script.

Neither of them can read it yet, but the book is Divine Metaphysics, one of the three books you need to solve Trebonius' Dwemer mystery quest.

He sighed, and turned another page, revealing a complicated diagram of… Iriel wasn’t sure, but he was interested enough to sit up fully, and examine it. “Chimarvamidium,” he said, eventually.

Iriel is reacting to the diagram in the book of an anthropoid Dwemer construct, a theme that also occurs in Chimarvamidium. The picture under his nose is almost certainly Numidium, something he should be at least theoretically aware of. Tiber Septim used it to conquer Summerset in the Second Era, within living memory of older Altmer, and if Ire wasn't concentrating in history class, he was fourteen years old at the time of The Warp in The West. Admittedly, the giant robot was stomping about in Daggerfall, by then (so no trying to claim it had any weird effects on Ire's developing psyche!), and perhaps even a Dragon Break was barely a blip on his radar, compared to the horrors of being a teenager in Lillandril. Either way, Ire misses the obvious fact about the picture, and makes a more remote connection, something Baladas takes as evidence of a subtler, more esoteric intellectual approach, when it's actually far more to do with:

“I’m sorry. I think I’m still sssomewhat under the effects of an Imperial fuckton of skooma.

Iriel was previously only ever doing moon sugar. Skooma is much, much stronger, more addictive, and, for a magic-sensitive Altmer, extremely psychoactive and hallucination-inducing. He also drank two bottles, straight. Skooma is a liquid, and can be drunk, but is more commonly smoked (inhaled as a vapour?) through a pipe. I am assuming that smoking is the preferred method because the effects are slow and gentle, whereas drinking it is extremely neither of those things.

Yes, fine, the line about skooma being like "eight hundred orgasms tied to a brick" is an echo of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy description of the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster cocktail as being "like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick". NO that is NOT a pop culture reference, that's just me stealing shit, which is totally different okay?

“Was that a Daedroth back there?”

Baladas keep a pet Daedroth. Wait... is it a pet? Are they sentient? Some of them are named, and have relationships to other characters that could imply they were intelligent. But... hmm. Dangerous tangent. Let's assume it's just a pet, yeah?

“It’s adorable! What’s its name?” Ire poked it, giggling in delight as it contracted its metal limbs back into its shell.

Again. Please let the record show that the first time Iriel interacted closely with a non-hostile Dwemer automaton, he was overcome with nothing more lascivious or sinister than childlike glee and wonder. You filthy animals.

Poor little centurion, does your daddy not even care enough to–”

He did indirectly call a Telvanni wizard "daddy", though. I can't really defend him from that one, since I'm pretty sure he knew exactly what he was doing*. And so did Baladas, because he shut that bullshit down FAST.

(* exactly what he was doing = being very silly and no-filter. Iriel is not actually looking to get "mentored" by a much older wizard, even if he could find one more interested in doing it.)

“The miners report that a screaming, semi-transparent Altmer, covered in weeds and soaking wet, broke into the eggmine from the lower levels.

This whole bit is confusing, and I don't like it. It's not funny, and it really doesn't matter about the stupid route Iriel took to end up with the book on Baladas' doorstep. But yes, you can get into the Gnisis eggmine via the riverbed outside town, and from there, into the Dwemer ruin and back. If he knew, Iriel would feel smug about the fact Edwinna would have tried to make him go there, on purpose, later, if she hadn't expelled him by then.

“Auri-El, what did you do to them?” Ire had heard about Telvanni methods.

While he hasn't encountered many Telvanni in Morrowind, he would have read things like this, in which Telvanni mages are notorious for being fans of inventive magical torture.

Iriel knew the score. Baladas Demnevanni was a serious Dwemer scholar, [...] He could make far better use of it than Ire ever would. And yet, something in Iriel resisted.

Iriel does know the score, and part of the score that he knows is: while Baladas is much older and more powerful, he's not technically Iriel's senior. Because Ire's not in House Telvanni, or any other structure that makes him Demnevanni's subordinate. Which Ire leaves free to resist. Sure, Baladas could take the book by magical force, but Iriel has enough pride to want to force him to do that, to not capitulate based purely on academic bluster. (Yes, of course Iriel can have a powerful and resilient scholarly ego, while simultaneously having zero self esteem. You've met academics, right?)

“It’s mine,” he said. “I found it. And I never asked you to take care of me.”

Saying this feels good. It's true: he didn't ask to be taken care of. And Baladas' reasons for doing so are cleanly self-interested, and make perfect sense to Ire. There's no messy pity involved, no need to spare the feelings of someone who thought they were being a good person, when you're too bitter and damaged to be grateful. This whole conversation is, in many ways, Iriel's ideal type of social interaction.

I will give you information about the location of Dwemer ruins on Vvardenfell, and in return, you will bring me any more books that you find there.”

The location of known Dwemer ruins on Vvardenfell is not, at this point in time, especially secret information, so Baladas is rather getting the better end of this deal. But if he wasn't, he wouldn't be making it, would he?

The only people qualified are my fellow mages, but Telvanni do not co-operate. Anything they found, they would keep for themselves.

His reasoning checks out, though, so Iriel is inclined to trust him. I really did think Ire would take him the other books at some point, and Ire himself intended to at various points, but... in the end, things got complicated. Iriel comes back to Gnisis, but not to Arvs Drelen, and he keeps all his findings to himself.

“Sweet Mara, no. I just want to be left alone to read.”

“You have just spoken the unofficial motto of House Telvanni.

The problem, I suppose, is that Ire is entirely too Telvanni at heart. It was always touch-and-go, as to whether he'd find an excuse to join the House. After all, he's perfect for it... but that's exactly why he resisted.

Iriel knows he's an obsessive, isolationist weirdo, who's probably going to end up alone in a tower, reading esoterically taboo books all day. Surrounded by robots and summoned Daedra, because that's the only level of social contact he's capable of tolerating. He knows all that, he knows exactly the sort of person he is. He just doesn't like that person. And when Telvanni start tempting him to fully embrace weird hermit mage life, he's forcefully reminded of what Telvanni are known for, and how isolating yourself with only Daedra for company makes you lose all contact with pedestrian concepts like "morality", and "not torturing people to death with lightning spells".

Clearly, Ire's being ridiculous to think his own morality is so fragile, but after the day he's had, he's feeling fragile in all sorts of ways, and unwilling to trust his own limits.

each mage seeks only solitude and freedom to continue his or her work.” [...] “Knowledge may be power,” he was declaiming, “but for some of us, it is enough that knowledge is knowledge.

And Ire's right to question the actual content of Baladas' rhetorical  flourishes: freedom to do what? Power to do what? Knowledge of what? Doesn't it matter? The Telvanni answer certainly seems to be "no". But Ire's experiences with education have left him questioning the value of the "knowledge" he obtained. Certainly, if he was supposed to convert it into power, he appears to have missed a crucial step in the process. He's not sure he wants Telvanni instruction, for taking that step.

He stood up, and began to concentrate a sphere of magicka between his hands. “Where should I send you?”

I have a question about teleportation. What are the rules? Guild guides only transport people to other guild halls, but is that restriction due to rules, or ability? UESP says that guides "maintain magical contact with their counterparts in other branches", but I can't find an ingame source for this. If true, that would explain the restriction, but I'm not sure I buy it. It's possible for a guild guide to send you into a guildhall where the "receiving" guild guide is no longer there, for example during this quest. And the mage who sends you to Mournhold in the Tribunal expansion isn't a guild guide, but sends you as a favour, since she's a "powerful mage".

So: my theory is that it's totally possible for a skilled mage to teleport people to other locations without another linked mage "catching" them, but the right location helps. Receiving chambers are magically set up in guildhalls to act as teleportation beacons, and that's the focus, rather than the other guide. This fits with how Divine and Almsivi Intervention work, not to mention Mark and Recall. Guild guides are trained to be specially attuned to these beacons, but any sufficiently powerful Mysticism expert can sling people into them, as Baladas does, here. Really powerful ones might not even need beacons, though I imagine there are exponential risks to the subject, as the location gets more distant and/or unfamiliar.

So, because it's theoretically possible, if difficult, I also think there are strict rules about where guild guides can send people, just like you can't ask the bus driver to take you anywhere you want, even if he technically could. Because teleportation would have to be a highly regulated skill! You can't just send people anywhere, that could cause all sorts of trouble.

As an aside, every guild guide in Morrowind is a beautiful woman. There's something a bit retro air stewardess about that, isn't there? Male game devs thinking women should be in travel service roles, or something? Hmm.

“Um… Ald'ruhn, please. The Mages’ Guild, for preference, but as long as you don’t teleport me inside a wall, I’ll be happy.”

Iriel's not keen to launch into his Queer Coded Villain arc, yet. So despite Baladas' blandishments, it's back to the loving arms of the Mages' Guild, for now.

“I want you to know,” Edwinna was saying, “that this is not about the Dwemer tube.

...Ah. Never mind.

“Whilst you were gone, some disturbing information came to light. When I agreed to mentor you, I was unaware of the crimes for which you were convicted in Cyrodiil. I’m sure you understand why the theft of magical artifacts is not something I can simply ignore.”

I realised something really funny just now, which is that if Edwinna has been digging into Iriel's background check, presumably through a contact at the Arcane University, then she must know Iriel is also supposed to have straight-up murdered one of his professors. But that's not what's bothering her at all!

“In addition, there is the matter of your drug abuse.

I can only assume that when Iriel took a little too long returning with the Dwemer tube, she couldn't resist the temptation to go through his bedroom. In her ensuing freak-out at finding DRUGS, it emerged that no one had ever actually looked into the squirrelly-looking Altmer's claim on application that he'd studied at the Arcane University.

Ire stopped recasting the Paralyze spell on himself

I was determined to try and find creative ways to use Illusion spells, and to some extent, that was the motive for this whole scene.

He had fully expected to burst into tears as soon as he was alone, possibly sooner, but instead, he found himself gripped by a cold fury.

So, I had planned to get Iriel expelled for a while, and originally I, like Iriel himself,  assumed that he would be devastated, because the number of times he's got himself kicked out of magical institutions is ridiculous at this point. But coming right off the conversation with Baladas, that wasn't where his head was at, at all. He was furious, and when a character gives you the gift of an unexpected emotional reaction, you always gotta lean into it, because it's one of my favourite things about writing. Iriel's vitriolic contempt for the Mages' Guild (and Edwinna Elbert in particular) gave him the motivation to do all sorts of fun things later, and really channel that "I'll show those fools at the institute!" energy. Even if he never did join House Telvanni.

At the last minute, he stopped, turned back, and retrieved Vivec’s Sermon 14 from under the bed.

On the one hand, yes, I am making fun of Iriel for considering porn* an essential, but also... not entirely? At the risk of getting too brutally real about mental illness, masturbation can be a key hammer in the mental toolbox, albeit one that tends not to get included on cute little listicles of harm-reduction coping techniques like taking bubble baths or snapping an elastic on your wrist. For people who spend their lives trying to manipulate their brains into staying above the line marked "basic functionality", orgasm can occasionally seem like the brief boost of feel-good chemicals that might kick it over that line. It is, at any rate, cheaper and safer than many alternatives, and while it's not nearly as effective as skooma, at least you don't have to fight smugglers in a cave for it. Or worse, interact with Tsiya.

*Iriel's current opinion of said text. We can make fun of him for this one.

“I’m sorry, Iriel.” Erranil shook her head, primly. “I’m no longer authorised to transport you.

It is the stupidest fucking thing that you don't have to be a member of the Mages Guild to use guild guide transportation, but if you've been expelled from the guild, they put you on a permanent no-fly list! This was often extremely annoying, ingame.

That said, it was funny to be playing the opposite of a "proper" Morrowind character, who ends up head of all the factions, including being Pope of two different religions at once. Iriel, by contrast, got expelled while still Apprentice rank in the Mages, never got past the early ranks in Thieves, and while he got one or two Imperial Cult ranks, he stopped once it wasn't going to get him laid any more.

But yes, I did get Iriel ingame-mechanically-expelled from the Mages' Guild on purpose (possibly by stealing a spoon?). For immersion. Method gamer, y'know.

next: 21: refinement & 22: fragile previous: 13: legs & 14: plan & 15: claws & 16: door

[casspurrjoybell-25]

Cold as Ice - Chapter 34 - Part 2

*Warning Adult Content*

Landon Reilly

"Boys, enough," Leo Ridley cut in, looking confused and sounding resigned like he was used to having to get between his two sons.

"No, seriously, do any of you know who he really is?" Fox asked, looking around the table.

Wren glared at his brother.

While before he looked calm and relaxed, Wren now looked tense.

It was a strange look on him that I had never really seen before.

That look on his face distracted me from the embarrassment for a moment but once my mind caught up, I couldn't help but feel humiliated.

Fox was going to call me out in front of his family, which wouldn't have been half as embarrassing if I wasn't so involved with his brother but the embarrassment hit me with full force and I felt like getting up and walking out and never seeing anyone from this family again.

When no one answered Fox, he continued.

"He's the one who got us kicked out of the tournament last year," Fox spat.

"After he attacked me and he even gave Elijah hell before that."

Everyone was silent for a moment and I was mortified.

It wasn't like what he was saying was untrue.

The worst part about it was that it was true and couldn't help but think that this was why Wren was so reluctant to be serious with me.

He didn't want to meet the Hansons but he didn't really want me to be spending any time with his family either.

Maybe it was because he knew they would hate me when Fox found out and told them everything.

He knew we couldn't last because his family was important to him and I would only drive a wedge between them.

I wanted to shrivel up and vanish into nothing.

I wanted to cease to exist at all.

There was nowhere I could escape to.

I was frozen in place.

Wren hadn't said a word, he barely even reacted.

I didn't know what I expected.

Him to defend me?

From what?

Fox was telling the truth.

"And..." Fox started again.

"Fox, enough," Vanessa snapped.

It was the only time all night that she looked even remotely upset.

She had been happy throughout the whole dinner, laughing and smiling with her kids but now because I was here and causing all this tension, her night was ruined.

"I know very well who he is," she added, raising her eyebrows at Fox.

That meant that Dan and Mandy Ellis had told her about me after that time I saw them all at their house.

That only made me feel even more embarrassed.

Wren must have sensed my discomfort and started to stand, motioning for me to follow him.

I wordlessly left the able with Wren.

I should have thanked his parents for the meal, thanked his mother for inviting me but it was like I was on autopilot, my feet taking me wherever Wren went.

The two of us left the restaurant and went outside.

Wren leaned back against his car with his hands in his pockets while I stood in front of him.

"Well, that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be," Wren said in a light tone.

I wanted to cry.

I didn't know what I wanted from him.

No part of me wanted to remember anything that had happened tonight but I still wanted him to comfort me.

We were standing only a few feet apart but it felt like he was a mile away.

"It wasn't that bad?" I asked in disbelief.

My words were short and choppy, nearly caught in my throat.

I could feel my throat drying up while tears welled in my eyes.

"You're upset," he said it in a bland tone.

A statement, not a question.

It was like he couldn't understand why the whole thing upset me.

I let out a humorless laugh, a cough coming out at the end.

"Yeah, Wren, I'm fucking upset."

"You don't need to be."

"But I am, Wren. That shit was fucking humiliating."

"It was far more embarrassing for Fox," Wren said.

"He nearly threw a tantrum."

He was trying to play it off like that didn't bother him but there was a reason he didn't want Fox knowing about us, so there was no way this whole thing didn't affect him too.

I could feel him putting a wall up, pulling away from me and that made me want to cry even more.

The two of us didn't say anything else before his family eventually exited the restaurant.

Fox walked right past us and surprised everyone by getting into the passenger's seat of Wren's car.

I was shocked and didn't realize Vanessa had walked over to me until she put her hand on my shoulder.

She looked at me with kind eyes, reminding me so much of Mandy Ellis.

"Thank you for coming tonight, Landon," she said.

"Maybe we'll see you tomorrow at the game."

"Thank you for dinner," I managed to get out.

Leo walked over and patted me on the shoulder before the two of them went to their own car with Colt and Fawn.

With Fox sitting in the front seat of Wren's car, I had to get in the back behind the driver's seat next to Raven who was in the middle seat, Robin on her other side.

"You're dropping me off last," Fox said to Wren as he got into the driver's seat.

Wren let out a sigh and started the car.

Robin reached forward and smacked Fox on the back of the head.

"Quit being a dick," Robin said.

Fox didn't respond and the car ride back to my dorm was silent.

When we pulled up to my building, I couldn't get out of the car fast enough.

"I'll text you," Wren said as he rolled down the window, staring at me intensely.

I nodded at him before rushing into my building.

It wasn't until I was finally in my room that I let the tears fall.

[voirists]

This is the picture I have as my profile on one of my socials.

Just a lot of tired rambling beneath the cut. Descriptions of not so great parenting and insinuated queerphobia, I guess?

Today my mother that I see once a year (and i'm very happy for those circumstances. 7 days a year are torture enough) called me on my dad's phone since she knew I wouldn't pick up if I saw her number to inquire about it. Or rather, interrogate me about it.

Her last update was me insinuating I had a girlfriend (which I didn't. I did say it out of spite though, since I'm afab and my mom is enough of a fucking queerphobe, she insists on disrespecting me in all ways possible and still hasn't managed to call me by the right names or pronouns even once without mocking me off the ends of the earth) and that nearly gave her an aneurysm, so I quite enjoyed not correcting her about that. That was nearly two years ago.

I also have never, never, ever brought up Pedro or anything of the like to her because she will never see any of his things on her own (she's kind of extremist old-fashioned when it comes to electronics and media too, what a shocker) and her favorite pastime is destroying the things I enjoy and making me miserable.

For some reason, she saw this picture today (I've had it for months) and her first thought was that this is a picture I took of my (non-existent) boyfriend. So she called me to complain that

1. Why doesn't she know about him? Clearly, we are best friends and she loves me oh so much and god, I am such a terrible daughter who just wants to make her miserable, what did I ever do to you? She's incredibly upset that I would not share these things with her (gasp) and she wants to meet him. I literally live in a different country. There are over ten hours of a drive between us (and thank fuck for that, physical distance is the only thing stopping her from randomly showing up on my doorstep and ruining my week and instantly making my mental health skyrocket 50 feet beneath the ground).

2. I seem to have fun. He seems to have fun. God forbid I have joy in my life that she can't get a chance to ruin and make about herself.

3. I am terrible with photography. Why is this picture so blurry? Also, he looks older. Have I finally realized the whole queer thing is just to make her suffer and myself special so I don't feel so worthless? Having a man put me in my place is just what I need, because clearly I'm still in my rebellious stage, thinking I don't want to see her every weekend.

4. She's also calling to remind me that it's mother's day, I owe it to her to celebrate her special day and she's so upset I didn't get her a week-long trip to Italy for two (that I wouldn't even be invited to) as a present. It's not like I'm barely paying rent and am lucky to have 20 bucks left at the end of a month.

And every time, she's fucking surprised as if it was big news that I'm not really into spending time with her as her metaphorical and literal punching bag, door mat and therapist. I wonder why that is. For fucks sake.

I am currently very tempted to photoshop myself into pictures with Pedro and putting them as my profile on that social she's apparently now stalking, slowly getting more unhinged until she's so fucking offended by it, she won't try to call me any longer out of pure disgust.

Apparently "Oh god, yes please" is not the right answer to her threat of putting me in therapy and going no contact because I'm so fucking horrible and bullying her by being myself and not giving a shit about her opinion anymore. I would have gotten myself therapy fucking years ago if I could afford it, and this is a very weird attempt to control a full ass adult who lives in a whole other country.

[manslaught]

that's not what the rest of the world thinks. to them, it doesn't matter what mikayla went through her entire childhood, because there's plenty of kids who get hurt by their parents who don't end up hurting people and murdering their parent as a result. for so long, mikayla was angry about it, wishing they'd just see her side, that they'd understand she didn't think she had any choice but to become the person she did, to do what she did to him, but now she starts to wonder if maybe they were right. “ you're, like, one of five fucking people in the entire world who thinks that. ” and mikayla's not even entirely included in that anymore.

she frowns, not wanting to think back to that night at all, but she can't help it, looking down at her hands. “ it was— it was worse than what it looked like in the mugshot. ” there were pictures of her hands spread everywhere, she knows, but she's not sure how much attention was given to the rest of her own injuries. the broken ribs, bruised lung, all the stitches she had to get, and still, people question whether it actually was self defense. “ my hands are still fucked. ” that part is mostly her own doing, only scarred because she'd kept hitting him until her knuckles split, not stopping until she was pulled off of him, and they just never healed properly after that, leaving the scars that everyone stared at until she finally got so irritated with it that she bought gloves to hide them instead.

“ there's not. ” that's not necessarily true. her mother's offered to get her a place somewhere more private, but the idea of being separate from society gives her anxiety after the crash and her years spent in prison, no matter how horrible most people are. she scowls, irritated that tai would even try to accuse nat or travis for being the reason for all of this, shaking her head. “ i've had more people over than they ever have. ” only asher's family and brittany, and while she's not nearly as close to either of them as she is with nat and travis, she trusts them enough to know they aren't spreading her address around, either. “ it's whatever. they'll all get bored eventually. ” she hopes so, at least, because that's the only way she can see all of this coming to an end.

mikayla lets out an indignant snort; she knows all too well that parents aren't required to love their kids, because neither of hers ever did, but she can't expect tai to actually understand that— something she's grateful for, because she deserves to have parents who care. “ but i knew he didn't. and i still went back. ” she doesn't want to consider that place home, because she never really did, but she also doesn't want to remember the only time she felt like she was at home— when she was with tai, even in the middle of the worst situation possible. “ i would've told you no. ” or maybe she wouldn't have, really, because she was so terrified of what she'd have to deal with that she could've convinced herself to let tai help her anyway, but like tai said— they can't focus on what they should have done. it's too late for that.

it's hard for her to believe she won't just drag tai down if she becomes a part of her life again. she knows how much tai has accomplished, as much as she can know without asking her herself, at least, and the last thing she wants to do is ruin that— especially when she knows that, if she does, then all those years they spent apart were for nothing. but the moment tai admits she never stopped loving her, mikayla can't even focus on anything else, wondering for a moment once again if she's just hearing things again. she's afraid to believe her, afraid to get hurt again, but shoving her away doesn't feel like the right solution, either, not when she knows she'll spend the rest of her life regretting it.

she'd convinced herself that happiness was always going to be out of reach for her, that she destroyed her chances when she killed her father, but here's seemingly the only chance she has to be happy again, as long as she's not too afraid to take it. being with tai again won't fix everything— she'll still hate herself, still be hated by everyone else, but at least she'll have something again. tai was able to make her feel better in the worst place imaginable, so maybe she still can, despite everything she's done to hurt her since. mikayla says nothing, torn between arguing and just giving in, slowly looking back over to her. that's probably where she fucked up, because she can't look at tai, hear her tell her she still loves her, that she wants her back in her life, and not give in. she might regret it, but she had that same thought seven years ago, minutes before tai left to find help, and just like then, she ignores that possibility, letting out a frustrated sigh of defeat, reaching for the front of tai's shirt and pulling her close, lips finding herself before she could talk herself out of it.

she frowns,  because she never held any of that against mikayla.   and she knows that mikayla never held any of that against her,  either—    not even when tai was at her worst,   when she made herself believe that she had done something truly horrible to allie stevens,  mikayla had her back,   mikayla reassured her that she didn’t think she was a monster.    tai tried to do the same for her,   but not when it really mattered,   so she's trying to make up for it now.   ❝  no,  ❞    she says,  quickly shaking her head.   ❝  you’re not a bad person for it.   you went through shit no one should have ever gone through—   and you dealt with it in your own way.   you’re not a fucking monster for that,  mikayla.  ❞    when she learned more about her,  her incessant fighting made sense.   she didn’t have support,  and tai was happy to be that for her when they had the chance—   and she should have been after,  too.  

she looks away as she talks about that day,   a look of disgust on her face again,   but not at what mikayla did.    she hesitates,   unsure if she should admit the memory it brings her to,   a part of her telling her she definitely shouldn’t,   but she doesn’t want to keep anything from her.   ❝  i—  ❞    she almost immediately regrets it,   but she forces herself to go on.   ❝  i was sick when i saw what he did to you,  ❞    she says quietly,  sparing most of the details.   ❝  so,  i do mean it.    he deserved worse.   he deserved worse for making you feel like this now,   too.   you weren’t wrong for what you did.   i never thought you were.   ❞

she scoffs,  because it’s not a satisfactory answer for her.   ❝  there has to be something we can do,  ❞    she claims,    ignoring the fact that she keeps throwing around the term ‘we’ —  because they aren’t a ‘we’ anymore,   but it’s so hard to think of it any other way.   she’s sitting next to her now,   so she’s thinking about it,   thinking about how to help her together,  with her.   ❝  you deserve some peace.   privacy.  travis—  ❞    she finally says his name,  shaking her head.   ❝  he doesn’t bring strangers here,  right?  ❞    there’s a part of her that already knows the answer to that,  but she’s just trying to figure it out,  trying to decide how it is she can help her.   ❝  or nat?  or—  ❞    she finally wonders how it is that these people seem to have a place like this,   but it doesn’t feel like the appropriate time.  ❝  you shouldn’t have to be used to it.  ❞

her jaw clenches,  cheeks warming with anger at the way she speaks.   ❝  no!    he was your fucking father,   he should’ve cared about you.   you weren’t wrong for going there.  it was your home,  ❞    she reminds with a scoff,   shaking her head.   maybe some part of taissa wanted to believe that he could change,  too—  or at least that he would have calmed down in her absence.   it was the only way she could keep going on every day without talking to mikayla.    ❝  no.  no,  mikayla,  i should’ve just—  made you come home with me.   i shouldn't have let you go back there at all.   ❞    it’s not an attempt to blame herself for it,  because she’s sure that mikayla would have been weary of the offer back then,   and none of them knew what to expect in the coming days after their rescue,   but she’s thought of it many times before.   if she would have insisted mikayla just come with her,  sure,  it could’ve been a little messy with her own family,  with mikayla’s father still in the picture too,   but at least mikayla would’ve been safe from the beginning.   and maybe,  they wouldn’t have fallen apart the way they did.   ❝  we can’t just do this.   we can’t think about all the ways it could’ve gone differently,  but—   what your dad did to you is not your fault,  mikayla,  ❞    she says with more certainty than ever,  hoping some part of her hears her. 

the look mikayla gives her is one tai knows she should’ve expected,  but it still stings,  her own eyes looking back at her and pleading her to just let her stay,  for them to try to figure something out.    ❝  i know,  ❞    she whines,  frowning back at her,   because it does sting even more to hear it outright like that.   she shifts uncomfortably,  because the past tense threatens to destroy her completely,  even more tears forming in her eyes.   in the wilderness,  she was constantly terrified of hurting mikayla—  physically,  mostly,  because she rarely felt like she had control over her own body,  but at least she could count on her heart.   she knew she couldn’t hurt her emotionally,   not when she was all in on her.   but then she did anyway,   and she can never forgive herself for that— why should she ever expect mikayla to?   ❝  i know,  ❞   she says,  her words shaky.   ❝  and i’m so fucking sorry for that.   you didn’t deserve that.  i only ever wanted to make your life better—   and i don’t know how i let it go so fucking wrong.  ❞    in some way,  she does—  because she was focused on making her own life better,   and not including mikayla in that is what broke them both.   she gulps, surprised that mikayla’s actually willing to believe her,  but it brings her some kind of hope,  at least.  she gives her one small nod of relief,  but she’s still holding her breath,  because she doesn’t have much faith in herself to actually make this any better for mikayla.   she’s not going to stop trying, though.

she doesn’t want to regret the question she asks her,   but when mikayla gives her that look,  she wonders if she crossed a line.   it doesn’t feel fair to ask her that,  not when tai was the one who walked away and left mikayla all alone,  just to wonder.   but she doesn’t know where to go with this until she knows where mikayla stands.   and even then,  she’s not sure she has a definite answer,  either.   she frowns,  shoulders slumped,  and she knows it’s ridiculous to put too much faith in the idea of them being together again.   but she isn’t fucking happy,  and for so long,  she told herself she doesn’t need happiness.  and yet,  now here she is,  sitting in front of mikayla for the first time in six years,  and despite the anxiety she feels,  despite how sad she is to know how hurt mikayla is,   she feels it again— that small piece of happiness that tells her that mikayla is here.   and that's at least something.  

❝  don’t let what i did six years ago answer for you now,  ❞    she says,  shaking her head quickly.   ❝  i was wrong.   you wouldn’t drag me down.   i can’t—  i don’t want ‘better,’  whatever the fuck that means.   you were the best thing that ever happened to me.  i never stopped loving you,  i just tried so hard not to think about it.   and i failed.  every single time.   you made me happy during the worst time of my life,  and i—   it fucking scared me when we got home.   i was so scared it couldn’t ever be like that again that i just didn’t even try. ❞    her words are coming out desperate,  anxious,  nearly slurring together.   fingers are clenched into fists because she can’t hold mikayla’s hands,   so she has to focus on something else.   ❝  i know that i don’t deserve another chance with you.  and i know—  we don’t know each other anymore.   but maybe we can start at the beginning.  ❞     her brows furrow,  because she’s not sure how to actually ask it,   not when she still doesn’t have an answer from mikayla.   ❝  i want to get to know you again.   i want you in my life.   i want to be in yours.  i want to stop pretending that i’m fine without you because—  fuck,   even natalie knows i’m not,  ❞    she says,  briefly glancing towards mikayla’s room,  then back to her.   ❝  please.  tell me.   have you closed the door on us?  ❞    she asks again.

[tangledbea]

Why don’t people like Cassandra’s redemption? There’s something off about her “redemption”, definitely.

I can tell you why I don't like it. And while a lot of people share my view, other people likely dislike it for other reasons.

Cassandra's redemption doesn't feel "earned". The plot spent all of S3 showing her waffling back and forth between whether she was all in with this betrayal or having second thoughts, and that, in and of itself, isn't the problem. Because someone who's having doubts will likely continuously waffle.

However, she never asked Zhan Tiri who she was, except for at their first encounter, when she got a non-answer: "A friend. Or, I'd like to be." Cassandra spent all of S1 and S2 suspicious of strangers, but she suddenly trusts this person, no questions asked? This person who only she can see? It was very out of character for her to ever trust Zhan Tiri at all.

And I didn't mind her going villain. I was actually pretty excited when she stole the Moonstone, and I couldn't wait to find out what her reasoning was, what she saw behind that door. (Note: I absolutely loathe her reasoning, and I personally feel it is one of the weakest and stupidest plot points in the entire show.)

So now she spends all of S3 listening to Zhan Tiri, never asking again who she is, or even what she's getting out of helping her (not that I think ZT would have been honest about that). But her motivations were never clear. She wanted to not have to take orders ever again. She wanted to fulfill her destiny. But what does that even mean? It is never explained to the audience what it is she thinks her destiny is. She's basically just doing this because a stranger told her to. She's convinced that Rapunzel "stole her destiny" in the same sense that she "stole her mother," but what made her think that the power of the Moonstone was hers to begin with?

This was bad enough, but her redemption? She knew who Zhan Tiri was. She walked away. But the moment people (rightfully!) didn't trust her (or seemed to, since Varian is not the one who fired the weapon at her), she decided to go ahead and be extra evil, and that Zhan Tiri was right. And the actual moment when she stopped being evil? Cassandra was ready to take the Sundrop for herself. She was ready to rip it out of Rapunzel's body and leave her defenseless and/or dead. She was ready to wield this newfound power to do... whatever she was planning to do with Corona. And then Zhan Tiri beat her to it. Zhan Tiri stole the Sundrop and the Moonstone for herself, and suddenly Cassandra is sorry. It looks to me (and many others) that the only reason she's sorry is because she lost, not because she didn't want any of this to happen. Her redemption is rushed, crammed into approximately three minutes, and everyone in the kingdom apparently just forgave her. Many viewers wanted some sort of legal recourse for her actions - after all, Varian was thrown in prison for doing the same thing on a smaller scale - or to at least see her apologizing to more people than just Rapunzel. While the kingdom was still in ruins, she left, off to find her own adventure and her own destiny, and with Rapunzel's blessing. She didn't have to help clean up the mess she made or anything.

Personally, I would have liked her redemption to have started a handful of episodes before the end. I would have liked to have seen people not trust her, and her have to earn their trust back. She literally attempted to kill or left Rapunzel for dead multiple times, not to mention actively tried to kill Eugene, drugged Varian and nearly killed him through negligence, attacked and damaged all of the capitol city of Corona. But if she spent a few episodes working with the people she wronged and gradually earning their trust through action, that would have been a much more satisfying redemption for me.

[cocosstories]

Chris Evans One Shot

A Chris Evans request- You and Chris were together for a long time and have a daughter (maybe 3ish), but split up like a year ago. You’re still really close with his family so you are invited to a get together along with your daughter and he arrives after you (with a date???) and upset you were invited, but when he watches you with his family and his daughter he realizes the break up/moving on was a mistake..... this felt very long and specific so I apologize in advance 😂

"Mama, where are we going?"

It was just after 5pm and you and your three year old daughter, Y/D/N, were getting into the car.

"We are going to grandma's for an Easter party."

You tell her as you buckle her into her carseat.

"Will Daddy be there?"

She asks and you sigh.

It had been a year since you and Chris had broken up and while he was a great father to your daughter, the two of you couldn't seem to be in the same room together for any extended amount of time.

"I don't know baby. Probably so."

You answer, trying your best to smile.

When Chris' mom, Lisa had called last week to invite you and Y/D/N to the party, you had hesitated, not wanting to cause issues during a family event.

"I don't know. Maybe I can just drop Y/D/N off and she can spend the night or something."

You offered, thinking it would make it easier on everyone involved.

"Nonsense! You are family too. Just because you and Chris broke up, doesn't mean we don't still love and miss you."

Lisa had loved you since the moment she had met you and over the years that you and Chris had been together had even begun referring to you as her daughter.

"Alright. We will be there."

You couldn't help but give in. The truth was, no matter what happened between you and Chris, your lives were connected forever because of your daughter and you had to do what was best for her, no matter how uncomfortable it may be for you.

"Grandma!"

Your daughter screams out and runs to Lisa as soon as you walk in the door, giving her a big hug.

"My little princess. You look so beautiful!"

Lisa says looking over the pastel colored dress and white shoes you had put her in.

"Thank you. Mommy picked it out."

She says, twirling around like she always did when she wore dresses.

"She did a great job."

Lisa replies, looking over to you with a sweet smile.

"How are you, Mama Evans?"

You ask as you hug her.

"Overwhelming happy to have my family here."

She replies just as Chris walks in, not alone.

"Daddy!"

Y/D/N spots Chris almost immediately and runs to him as he looks to you and then his mother, obviously not happy that you were invited in the first place.

"Hey, munchkin. How are you?"

He asks your daughter, picking her up.

"Daddy, who is that lady?"

Y/D/N asks pointing to the woman who had walked in with him.

"This is daddy's um friend."

Chris says, not really sure what to say to the three year old.

"Hey, princess, why don't you come with grandma and we will color some eggs with your cousins."

Lisa says, taking the little girl from Chris and carrying her to the kitchen where the other kids were.

Before Chris can say anything to you, you hold your hand up.

"I came because your mom asked me to. She said she wanted the whole family and that includes me and your daughter. So before you start in on the whole 'I shouldn't be here' thing, why don't you just not. I have just as much of a right to be here as anyone. Unlike, some."

You say, bitterness filling your voice as you eye Chris' date.

Once you say your peace, you follow Lisa and your daughter to the kitchen, leaving Chris still standing in the entryway.

As the night went on, you did your best to interact with Chris as little as possible, focusing on your daughter and the rest of the family rather than worry about what he was doing.

It was nearly 10pm and your daughter was passed out on the couch while you helped Lisa clean up, the two of you reminiscing about past holiday's over the years.

"Y/N, can I talk to you for a minute?"

You are startled at the sound of Chris' voice coming from the doorway of the kitchen.

"Sure. What's up?"

Chris motions towards the porch and you follow him with a sigh.

"Chris, if this is about your weekend with Y/D/N, I already to-"

You begin only to be cut off by Chris' lips on yours.

"What the hell was that?"

It takes you a second to react to what was happening but as soon as you do, you push him away.

"I made a huge mistake, Y/N. Seeing you and Y/D/N tonight, doing all of this family stuff, all I could do was stand there and watch because I broke our family up. I gave up on us and I ruined everything. I know that now and I am so sorry. Please tell me there is something I can do to fix it. I want to try again. I want you. I want my family back."

He had tears in his eyes as he spoke and if it hadn't been for the last year, the sincerity in his voice would have been enough for you to give in and give the two of you another chance but you couldn't.

"Chris, you made a choice and just because you have one night of clarity doesn't mean anything. You literally brought a date tonight. A few hours ago, you were pissed because I was here."

As much as you hated it, you had to be the voice of reason so you took a step back and began to lay out the harsh truth even if all you wanted to do was give into him.

"You don't want to be with me? You don't want Y/D/N to have her mommy and daddy back together?"

You looked in through the livingroom window to the couch where your daughter was sleeping, knowing how happy she would be if you and Chris got back together.

"No. Not like this. Not when you change your mind when things get hard. She is three years old Chris. She wouldn't understand us breaking up, getting back together and then if it happens again? It's not fair to her."

You shake the happy visions out of your head, choosing to do what was right for your little girl.

"But we wouldn't break up again."

He takes a step towards you, reaching for you.

"You can't promise that and I wouldn't want you to. It would hurt too much when you broke it."

You step back towards the door, reaching for the handle.

"Pick Y/D/N up Friday afternoon like you planned. You want to fix something? Keep your promises to your daughter. Be the amazing father I know you are and she deserves."

With that, you go back inside, grabbing all of your stuff and your daughter and say goodbye to the remaining members of the family before Scott helps you out to your car and you head home, still somewhat reeling over what Chris had said.

[flameo-firelord-hotman]

Part 3

Pairing: Zuko x Fem!Reader

Genre: angst

Warnings: panic attack

Words: 1.5k

Summary: to everyone she knew, [y/n] was a peasant, destined to be a servant just like her parents. To Zuko, however, she was his best friend. After losing his agni kai and being exiled, [y/n] was devastated. She thought she would never see him again. Three years later, she almost wished he never came back.

A/N: wasn’t quite sure how to write this part, and I’m not sure how I feel about it...but I’m just gonna post it anyway :)

Part 2 <- Part 3 -> Part 4

Series | Masterlist

This dark, dusty hallway seems to never end. It feels like I've been wandering for hours, yet it feels like no time has passed. It feels familiar, like a fragment of a memory, yet it feels fabricated. It feels like a lot of things, but I feel…nothing. It's so surreal, yet so natural.

I watch myself from above. My body is floating, light as a feather. Am I spirit? No. How do I know? I don't. But I can see myself right there, standing on the floor next to my friend. I think it's him. His face is a blur, but I can see just enough to be sure.

We're talking. Nothing being said makes sense, yet it all makes sense. He's getting closer to me. Now I feel something, an urge, a whim. He's leaning in, closer and closer, and…

[Y/n]’s eyes fluttered open. She was curled up under the covers of one of the guest room beds. It must have been late morning, because the sun was peaking brightly between the curtains.

For a second, everything was okay. Then, she frowned upon realizing what just happened. Kissing Zuko, what a dream. Really, it could never be a reality. Last night, when they got to the beach, him and Mai made up and got back together. They even kissed right in front of [y/n]. It hurt to watch.

Fortunately for her, they were returning home today. [Y/n] could forget about this trip and go back to living her normal, boring life, something she never thought she would miss. As she packed her bag, she once again thought of that moment from last night. The memory was burned into her brain. No matter how hard she tried to push it away, it kept coming back. And every time, she wondered if what she saw was real. She sure wished it was.

Even if he really did, he could’ve been acting in the heat of the moment. He probably would’ve regretted it afterward. Yeah...why would he kiss his best friend? And a commoner at that? And while he clearly still has feelings for Mai? That would be ridiculous.

[One week later]

Knock, knock, knock.

[Y/n] propped herself up on her elbows and wiped her groggy eyes. It wasn’t unusual to have visitors—her family and neighbors often did favors for each other—but it was rather early in the day for one.

“Just a second!” [Y/n] called out. She tossed the covers aside, quickly threw on a robe and put her hair up in a messy bun.

Damn, I was really hoping to sleep in today. I hope it’s not someone important.

She opened the door.

“Hello, [y/n]!” A teenaged boy in a regal tunic with a scar on his face stood before her. He smiled brightly and waved his hand. [Y/n] felt her heart skip a beat.

“Oh! Um, hi, Zuko,” she replied.

“I hope you don’t mind me stopping by,” Zuko chirped, “I thought we could hang out today, if you want. Your mom told me you have the day off.”

He wants to spend time with me? Just us? [Y/n] was delighted by the opportunity. Then, reality set in: Zuko was still dating Mai and only saw her as a friend. She couldn’t hold his hand, she couldn’t cuddle with him, she couldn’t kiss him, she couldn’t be with him the way she wanted. Clearly, [y/n] hadn't gotten over her crush. If she was going to continue being his friend, she would need to do so. She needed to give herself space.

“Um, I'd like to," [y/n] said slowly, "but...I don’t feel well today.” She placed a hand on her stomach to feign illness. The fact that she had just rolled out of bed helped her cause.

Zuko’s cheerful face morphed to one of sadness. “Oh, no. I’m sorry. Is there anything you need? I could bring you medicine or food.”

[Y/n] shook her head. “No, thanks. I have everything I need.”

“How about I brew you some tea?”

“Er, no, it’s fine. I just need rest.” She scratched the back of her neck nervously.

“Okay. Well, I hope you feel better,” Zuko said earnestly.

“Thanks. Maybe another time,” [y/n] said.

“Yeah.” He trailed off, nodding slowly as he backed away from her apartment. They said their goodbyes and waved to each other. [Y/n] closed the door and leaned against it. She dropped her head into her hands. Already, she regretted her decision. She wanted nothing more than to be with Zuko, even though she knew it would cause her heart to ache.

Why do I have to have a crush on him? Why can't I go back to liking him as a friend? I don't want these feelings. I just want our friendship, I just want what we had three years ago. I don't even know if I can be his friend anymore. It's ruining us. I just lied to him too. It was a stupid lie, but still, what kind of friend does that? Why couldn't I just say no? I’m so pathetic.

A few days had passed since then. Zuko didn't reach out to [y/n], and she didn't reach out to him. Once again, she was back to her day-to-day routine of things…somewhat. There was one day when all the residents on the main land had to be evacuated. [Y/n]'s mother said it was because Firelord Ozai was preparing for an attack during an eclipse, which would weaken our people.

When they returned, they saw the damage. The city's harbor had taken a serious beating, but the palace appeared to be okay. [Y/n]'s parents were quite relieved to know that they wouldn't have any extra work for themselves.

The day after they returned, [y/n] walked into the kitchen to eat breakfast. She saw a messenger hawk sitting on her window sill. Had Zuko finally reached out to her? She hesitantly untied the letter from the bird's leg and read it.

To: [Y/n] Summons Notice to Appear Your presence is required by his majesty Firelord Ozai immediately. Failure to appear in one (1) week will result in criminal charges against you and your family. From: Chief Advisor Xin

A bolt of fear struck [y/n]'s body. She froze. She backtracked the past several days and weeks, trying to think of what she could’ve done to warrant a summons. Nothing came to mind. Then, she wondered if her parents were involved in something treacherous. She couldn’t imagine them doing such a thing...perhaps they were being wrongly accused of a crime. Perhaps she was being wrongly accused of a crime. Her mind jumped to conclusions as rapidly as her heart was beating.

Finally, [y/n] broke free of her paralysis and fumbled for her things. She hastily headed to the palace. Breakfast could definitely wait. On the way, over and over, she begged and prayed to the spirits for her and her family’s safety.

At the palace, [y/n] approached the guards at the gate and presented the summons with shaky hands. They nodded, and one of them escorted her to the throne room. The guard slipped inside to announce her presence to Firelord Ozai. Meanwhile, she waited outside for permission to enter.

This would be her first time being in the presence of the Firelord, let alone talking to him. She was terrified to say the least. [Y/n]’s mom told her all kinds of stories about how scary he was. From the paintings she had seen before, his looks alone were intimidating. Her heart raced faster with every second she waited. Sweat coated her forehead and palms.

The guard returned, making [y/n] nearly jump out of her skin. He gestured for her to enter. And so she did.

The first thing [y/n] noticed was how warm the throne room was. It was massive and wide open with tall, ornate pillars outlining an aisle running down the middle. Straight ahead was the throne, where Firelord Ozai sat surrounded by large, hot, dancing flames. He wore a severe expression, looking just like he did in all those paintings. On his left sat a girl: Princess Azula. The seat on his right was empty.

Where’s Zuko? [Y/n] wondered, but only for a fraction of a second. That didn’t matter right now. She gulped nervously and approached the throne.

“F-Firelord Ozai. Princess Azula,” she shakily dropped to her knees and bowed. She had never felt so small before. “I received your message and came as soon as I could.”

“Why don’t I take this one, father?” [Y/n] gingerly peaked up to see Ozai quietly nodding to Azula. The princess rose from her seat and walked to [y/n]. [Y/n] slowly straightened up.

“Don’t be scared, [y/n]. We just want to ask you a few questions.” Azula patronized her.

“Have you seen or spoken to Zuko recently?” Azula inquired, pacing back and forth. Her heels clacked against the marble floor.

“Yes.”

“When?”

“A few days ago.”

She stopped and turned on her heels to further interrogate [y/n]. “What did you two talk about?”

[Y/n] nervously explained what happened when Zuko stopped by the other day. Azula sighed dramatically and pinched her nose.

After a long, suspenseful silence, [y/n] daringly asked, “Princess Azula...do you mind if I ask what this is about?”

Azula glanced at her with the side of her eye. "Well, since you asked, my dear brother, Zuko…he's been missing the since the attack."

Taglist (open!): @aangsupremacy @kaylove12 @celestialentitiesss

[selkiesblog]

The ruse(DracoX OC) Chapter 1- The plan

"mooom please, does she really have to spend the summer here???" The little boy with white silverish hair said pulling on his mother's robe ends, hiding his head over her kilt

Every June until September Saphira Jones would come to his mansion to spend the summer over the Malfoy's

It started as a tradition, the two families were quite fond of each other. Since Voldemort first vanished and the rumors of his return started. The Malfoy's needed to reassure their family's safety and economic stability in case of things gone wrong during the rise of death eaters and late battle. So they made a pact that neither of the children would know: for every year until they turn a majority age, they would unite their families in expectation of a great match. And not until then deny or agree with a marriage proposal, that should be made

Draco utterly despised every second and Saphira knew it, so she would try to make his life just as miserable as hers, the only problem is that the game they both plays of twisting and pulling each other until one or another give up or break was never-ending

He would bark she would bite

As a child, they would fight over toys

"Mooom!!! Saphira stole my broom!!" He cried

"No, I did not!!"

Sometimes she would indeed steal his toys and hide in the most inconvenient of places cause at the very young age she would be more advanced in spells than he, a fact that she would- till this day- constantly remind him.

"You did!! Stop lying!!"

But this time she didn't

Oh no, he was just having fun getting her in trouble.

"Safira, give him his broom!" Her mother stepped in the light

before she could deny his allegations or make any more of her comments she heard a snap and by pulling her hear she was dragged into her room "that's it!! No wand for a week!" He smirked through his fake tears

And it got worse as it got physical. In school he will do whatever it takes to provoke her, pulling her long brown braids, pushing through the halls, calling her names until she snapped over him with her hand in a fist. She got -10 points to Gryffindor's he got a red-eye

Summer came and there she was again cuffed to him like a second skin

"Kneel," he said

"No you kneel" she pushed him

"No, I'm older than you"

"And I'm richer than you"

"Enough both of you!!!" Narcissa said "now Saphira, kneel" she took a large breath, she went down reverencing like a Princess only less charmingly. He puffed his chest with pride and kept his back straight smirking with victory "now you kiss her hand" they both looked at Narcissa who seemed with her patience on the edge, both hands in her temples. Draco not into hearing more of his mother's speeches on how the Yule ball was a very important event and that he was going to make a fool of himself if he didn't know the proper steps. Soon he raised her hand to meet his lips and planted a kiss there

The music started, slower. Saphira still taken by surprise with his action crumbled over his pace, stepping on his foot. The music started again and again until she got it right, only when it was time for him to spin her and catch he let her fall

Fifteen and It was time for pranks that she learned from the Weasley twins, Fred and George. Colorful bombs in his dorm room or shoes that would fart every time he walked, name it she has it

"Never heard of it?"

"What does it do?"

"It tickles the skin non-stop until the person breaks in laugh"

"Rather harmless..." Fred started

"But very affective" George finished

"Okay!..." She whispered to herself "Rictumsempra"

In the tall estate of the games, missing one point to Slytherin score 150 and Draco catch the golden snitch. He started twisting on his broom, having a pit of a contagious laugh. Everyone started to making fun until he lost balance and crush in the dirt of the ground

She was shaking when they took him to Papoula Pomfrey, he had hit his head but the problem was in his broken arm. He was still conscious when they asked him what happened, he just looked at her, and said "I lost balance and fall"

He lied?

It didn't make sense, he knew it was her and he wouldn't tell her off? He would always tell her off. Draco was the boy who would do everything in his reach to get her in trouble, wasn't he? Did he beat his head so hard that he has forgotten he hates her? Was he gonna use it to his advantage, just waiting for the right moment to strike like a snake?

While he was asleep she stayed up all night on his side, guild kicking in, anxiety keeping her awake, looming at his facials expression as he slept. That night Saphira discovered many things...

first one: Draco talked in his sleep

"No, No I won't fail you"

he woke in shook in the morning, sweat dripping from his forehead, breathing heavily

"Are you feeling better?" She asked ready to question why didn't he told dumbledore it was her who cursed him

"Yes" he simply said

Second one: don't trust the Weasleys with spells

"It was a really hard crash" she sighed "unfortunately I have some bad news" he positioned steadily in the bed frowning "you fall so hard and ground that your face fractured" he quickly turned to the mirror on his side " now you look normal"

His delicate lips had a small cut in them, nothing scandalous, but he looked angry as he turned at her, his serious serious expression turned into a grin. They both laughed immensely for a couple of seconds and stared at each other not knowing what to say, or do.

"Draco?" A small voice echoed in the corner of the room

"H-Hi pansy!" He said

Suddenly it was a weird atmosphere that broke through the windows as she had just crossed nearly headless nick for the first time

"I'm gonna live your two alone" heading out the door, leaving space for the both to talk she realizes the Third one: she was completely head over heels in love with Draco Malfoy

And every time she would catch him snogging pansy in the corner of the halls, kissing the length of the neck, or overheard them talking, she would get this feeling of nausea on the bottom of her stomach

"You're jealous!" Hermione said

"Why would she be jealous?" Ron asked with his mouth full, she never so gentle smacked his head with her hand pointing at the way pansy would play with Draco hair

"He doesn't even like it in the middle part," Saphira said playing with the vegetables on her plate with her fork, not hungry at all

"You gonna eat that? " Ron asked

"Wait...you like Draco? " Harry asked, "why?"

"I don't like him!!!"

"Okay...But you spent every summer with him, it's a little suspicious"

"It's because of my family you know that"

"Have you ever considered confessing your feelings to him?" Hermione again asked

" I don't like him," she said again loudly "even so, he doesn't see me that way"

But the thought lingered in her mind for a couple of weeks, weeks-long enough for the students already know that Malfoy would keep his Summers busy with her. Suddenly everyone knew and assumed the same thing that Hermione did

"Are you dating Malfoy?"

"How long are you guys together?"

"What about Pansy?"

"Is he a good kisser?"

Overwhelmed by the random questions and thoughts she went to talk with Draco personally until found him talking with Blaise and his friends "come on guys, I'm not dating her" he laughs "she not even my type" he said making an ugly face "I am just is stuck with her through the Summers cause she so annoying and boring that even her parents don't want her around" he quickly realized the words that had just come out of his mouth and shut

There was so much truth in those words, the truth that she never wanted to admit nor she could. She was adopted, it's true, people didn't know and those who knew certainly didn't talk about that.

When two purebloods decide to adopt a magic muggle-born, the elite society doesn't take it very well, first of all, it's illegal. Second: the chance of dishonoring the bloodline and status of the family by polluting their legacy mixing their divergence with a "mudblood", it a risk that no one should take, even a mother who lost her child at early birth; a bare family in an empty nest; a tree rotten in its core. She was embarrassed, only for a couple of seconds, soon she was filled with the very familiar feeling that emerged in her mind of angst

She got a suspension when the school heard from her that she had used a spell against a student and wounded him during a game of quidditch. Sitting on the bench Draco looked at her stiffed

"Why did you tell them?"

"My parents are going to move me to

Beauxbatons school" he looked worrisome that she almost felt pity "then I won't have to trouble you with my annoyingly boring behavior" she was about to get up when she felt his hand on her wrist twirling her body close to his, too close even

"Is this what you want?" She felt his mint breath in her cheeks and shivered over the wooden cologne

"W-what I-?"

" You wanna ruin everything don't you?" Her stomach filled with butterflies "our parent's plans, the secret, you found out and now you wanna ruin it"

Instantly the short moment went away, she stepped out of his intense gaze and unlocked her wrist

"Secret?"

"Why do you think you would come every summer to my house?" He said

"obviously isn't because we're so friends"

"Our parent's plans all along were that we would be more than that, I guarantee you" the words hissed against her thoughts, it was all so obvious now "marriage, Saphira, they want us to be wedd"

She felt like crying, run away like a little girl who just found out that Santa isn't real. She felt like breaking. Draco was bounded to her, stuck with a girl that he doesn't want

Making his life miserable as hers

"Draco, hear me, loud and clear," she said crying out, he never saw her tears, but that day it poured like a stormy rain

"you will never, never marry me. I give you that" alone with his thoughts, he builds his first wall

You're free

That summer she didn't come. It was his darkest summer, that gloomed into his mind like clouds over a parade

_____

"Will you fail me, boy?" Voldemort whispered

"No, my Lord"

[pietromelim]

Lucie Herondale's 17th birthday! Takes place after the events of Chain of Thorns,which hopefully will have a happy ending!

Enjoy the reading!

Summer,1904,Idris

At the Herondale Manor in Idris,Lucie could barely pretend not to be excited,as she stood in front of the mirror.

Today was her birthday,her 17th birthday to be exact. Birthdays were quite important for the Herondales,since they knew how short a life could be.

Most of Lucie's birthdays were in London though,as her father,Will,would take her to the Portal,they would appear at the gates of the Institute,and inside Lucie would find her family and friends in a surprise party.

A surprise party she obviously knew about,so she usually spends a good amount of time rehearsing surprised faces.

That is what she was doing now,in the bathroom of her room. It wouldn't take long for Tessa to show up and congratulate her,and also tell her to speed it up.

Lucie wasn't really in the mood to speed it up today though,she was trying to make the perfect surprised face today,after all,she had a certain Blackthorn to impress.

James would make fun of her,no doubt. Luckily,he would be with Daisy so he wasn't going to pay attention to Lucie on that matter.

-Lucie! Are you done there darling!? Your father wants you to come and have breakfast with us!-Tessa said.

Lucie opened the door,she was still wearing the pink nightgown Grace had given her,as a way to thank her for helping bring Jesse back.

Lucie accepted the gift with quite some joy,since it wasn't like Grace to give anyone gifts. And the nightgown was very beautiful.

-I just need to get dressed Mam! I won't take too long!-Lucie said,as Tessa pulled her to a hug.

-My darling Lucie! Happy birthday my sweet girl! Seventeen years! You are almost an adult now!-Tessa said,nearly crying.

-Mam! Please save your tears for a more impactful moment of today!-Said Lucie,truth was,she was almost crying as well.

-Well get dressed then! And please hurry!-Tessa said,and left the room.

Lucie decided to wear a pink dress,one she used when Will asked for a portrait of her to be made. It was one of her favorite dresses.

She went downstairs and to the dining room,where her parents and James were having breakfast.

-The birthday girl finally decided to show up! Happy birthday sister!-James said,kissing Lucie's forehead.

-Thank you Jamie.-Lucie said,smiling,as Will approached her and hugged her.

-I cannot believe my Lulu is turning seventeen. I feel as if i ought to cry the entire day.-Will said,grinning.

-Papa! Enough with that silly nickname! It is embarassing!-Lucie said.

-And what are parents for if not to embarass their children?-Will asked,and they all laughed.

Those were really happy times. But the day was just beginning.

Later

Lucie and James were walking around the Herondale Manor. Truth was,apparently James had found a mysterious lake nearby that they never knew about. But Lucie was not buying it.

-That sounds so untruth! As a writer,i should have been the one to find this lake,so i could describe it in The Beautiful Cordelia!-Lucie said.

James shook his head.

-Try to forget about novels today,Luce. You are almost eighteen now. Do you have any idea which Institute you would like to visit?-James asked.

Lucie had already thought about that. She was waiting to see if the Clave would approve of Jesse's visit to the New York Institute. He wasn't seventeen anymore,obviously.

He had two ages,but since he did not had the chance before,he was considering visiting now.

And if the Clave approved,she would choose the New York Institute to got with him.

-Not really. I don't really want to think about that right now. Much can happen in a year. I am sure i will be certain of my answer in my next birthday.-Lucie said.

James nodded.

-Seems fair. I am sure we will have lots of fun today. By the way,i know that you were rehearsing today.-James said,and smiled.

Lucie felt like punching him in the stomach,which would be easy,since she was much shorter than him.

-My surprise faces are the best! And i was under the impression you would keep my secret! I think it pleases Papa and Mam if they think that i am really surprised.-Lucie said.

-I am sure they probably know that you pretend. But now is not the time to think about that. Let's go back to the Manor.-James said.

Lucie nodded,and so they did.

As Lucie opened the great doors of the Herondale Manor,she shrieked when she heard a very loud "Surprise" shout.

The living room was full of people,her parents,her family and all her friends.

She covered her mouth with her hands,and turned her attention to James,who was standing beside her,with a smile on his face.

-This was definitely your best surprise face,Luce.-He said.

Minutes Later

-I cannot believe it! This was your idea Daisy?-Lucie asked,looking at her Parabatai,that was laughing.

-James told me that usually your father would bring you to the Institute,so i thought it would be good if we changed the routine once in a while.-Said Cordelia.

-That was brilliant! For the first time,i was truly surprised!-Lucie said.

-And we had help from Magnus to make all this food appear here. I was afraid the cake would loose itself in somekind of random realm.-Matthew said.

Lucie looked at him. It has been almost an entire year since Matthew was sobber. It was good to see that he was being able to overcome his problems.

-Good thing it didn't! A birthday without a cake is quite anticlimactic!-Said Lucie.

She stared at the cake. It was quite big,a combination of strawberry and chocolate,Lucie could only hope that her mother would eat as well. She knew Tessa wasn't very fond of chocolate.

-You better go greet the others Lucie,and allow them to congratulate you.-James said.

Lucie nodded. James was right,she had to do that,it would be a good opportunity to talk to Jesse too.

Aunt Charlotte and Uncle Henry were the first to come and talk to her. Charlotte could barely go to the other birthdays she had,but since they were in Idris,it made it a lot easier for her to show up.

Charles came after,Lucie still had a hard time being around Charles. Some of his actions and words made Lucie seriously doubt if he would ever be a decent Consul.

-Lucie dear! Happy birthday! This is quite the party you are having!-Said Anna,and with her was Ariadne.

-Congratulations! I really loved your dress Lucie!-Ariadne said.

-Thank you! I'm so glad you two could come! How is your father dealing with the both of you being together?-Lucie asked.

Ariadne shrugged.

-I'm not really sure. He says it is okay,but always avoids the conversation.-Ariadne said.

-Don't let her fool you Ari! She is only trying to get a description out of you! She is a bloody writer!-Anna said,and Lucie laughed.

Uncle Gabriel and Aunt Cecily came to her,apparently Alexander was playing with his red rubber ball somewhere else.

-Lucie my beautiful niece! You will soon become an adult Shadowhunter! And then we will start our plan to take control of the Clave! Only women will lead!-Cecily said,hugging Lucie.

-That seems quite a difficult plan!-Lucie said.

-Don't listen to her Luce! We all know that you will become a great Shadowhunter and a great writer as well! I'm still waiting to have my own copy of The Beautiful Cordelia.-Gabriel said.

-Sorry Uncle Gabriel,but i'm afraid you will have to wait for it's publication.-Lucie said.

Eugenia,Sophie and Gideon also congratulated her,and it reminded Lucie of Barbara,and how she was always nice and cheerful. Lucie missed her cousin.

Lucie began to feel a little tired since she had been standing for quite a while now. She sat beside Thomas.

-Thank goodness you are not standing Tom! I wouldn't like to make you come all the way down just to hug me!-Lucie said.

Thomas smiled and kissed her forehead.

-It would be for a good reason. I am so glad to see that you are enjoying the party. When Cordelia had the idea of having the party at the Manor,i wasn't really sure if you would like it or not. Since we can literally see the ruins of the Blackthorn Manor from here.-Thomas said.

It was true. James had accidentally burned the Blackthorn Manor to the ground,and it was possible to see the outcome of that.

Lucie wasn't sure if seeing that would be awful for Grace and Jesse,but they didn't seemed to mind.

-Have you heard the big news Lucie? Christopher and Grace now have an understanding!-Thomas said.

Lucie would literally have screamed if the Manor were not so full.

She stood up and went to Grace's direction. It was Impossible not to recognize Grace,always in her ivory dresses.

-Grace! By the Angel,is it really true?-Lucie asked.

-Happy birthday Lucie. I hope you won't mind my presence here?-Grace asked.

-I'm glad that you came Grace. Our friendship has a special meaning to me.-Said Lucie.

Grace nodded.

-To me as well. I will always be grateful to you,for you helped me get my brother back. I will never forget your kindness.-Grace said.

-I am just as happy that Jesse was able to return. But do tell me! Is it truth? You and my cousin Christopher have an understanding?-Lucie asked.

Grace laughed. That rarely happened.

-It is true. Almost every men i met in my life thought that i was like all the other girls. That i only wished for emotions and feelings. But Christopher is different. He doesn't try to give me what he thinks i want. He listens to me,he makes me laugh with all that science of his. Being with him makes me feel lighter.-Grace said,smiling.

-That is adorable! I wish all the best for the both of you!-Lucie said.

-Gracie,might we have this dance? I swear to you i have been practicing the waltz with my mother and i will not step on your toes! Oh,hello Lucie! Happy birthday!-Christopher said,almost too fast.

-Of course,Chris. Excuse me,Lucie. Before i forget,my brother is in the garden,he wishes to speak to you,in private.-Grace said.

Lucie did not waste a second,she went straight to the garden of the Herondale Manor.

It was a sunny day in Idris,and the big trees in the garden created long shadows on the ground.

Jesse was near the tree,the shadow protecting him from the sun. It has been quite some time since he had returned from the dead,but he was still getting used to the light.

When he saw Lucie,a smile appeared on his handsome face.

-Finally,the Secret Princess Lucie has found time to talk to the Good Old Ghost Boy.-Jesse said.

Lucie put her hands on her hips.

-In her birthdays,Secret Princess Lucie can barely escape the attention of the Cruel Prince James,of the Demon Pox King William,and of the Shape-Shifter Queen Theresa.-Lucie said.

Jesse's eyes widened.

-Your father is Demon Pox King?-He asked,astonished.

Lucie only giggled.

-Perhaps Good Old Ghost Boy should have come to her rescue?-Jesse asked.

Lucie shook her head.

-Absolutely not! I am no damsel in distress i assure you! Grace said that you wanted to talk to me,so here i am! You may talk to me now!-Lucie said.

-How lucky i am,to get your attention for myself when everyone seems desperate to be with you.-Jesse said.

-That only happens in my birthdays. My attention will be on you,mostly.-Lucie said.

Jesse smiled. It did seemed like he had something important to say.

-So how has it been with the Clave? Will they allow you to go to the New York Institute?-Lucie asked.

-Charlotte Fairchild have talked to me when i arrived for your party. As the Consul,she said that i have permission. But it can't be this year. Since i was brought back,the Silent Brothers want to keep their closed eyes on me for a little more time. I can only visit next year.-Said Jesse.

Lucie beamed.

-That is absolutely perfect Jesse! How lucky of you!-Lucie said.

Jesse raised his eyebrows.

-Why am i lucky?-He asked.

-Well,i do become eighteen years old next year. In other words,i could go with you,if you are willing to wait.-Lucie said.

Jesse laughed.

-Well,it seems i really am lucky. Nothing would please me more than having your company.-Jesse said.

-It is settled then! You and i in New York,next year!-Said Lucie.

Jesse took her hands.

-Have you taken a look at your gifts? I'm sure you will love most of them. Perhaps all of them,if you are in a good day.-Jesse said.

Lucie was rather curious. What was his gift for her?

-What have you gotten me,Jesse? Will i like it? Or will i hate it?-Lucie asked.

-We shall see. If you don't mind,i would like to give you your gift right now.-Jesse said.

-Very well then. Please do.-She said.

Jesse leaned in close to her,and his lips touched hers,smooth and nicely.

They were holding hands as they kissed. Jesse tasted like honey and something more sweet than that. It was a taste she could only associate to him.

Their lips parted,and he smiled. That was probably the best gift Lucie had ever gotten.

-Happy birthday Lucie.-Jesse said.

[hawkbucks]

Okay, so I usually don't send this kind of asks or prompts, because I don't have any wishes - I'm happy with whatever I get. But if you're up for it, I'd really love some HEAVY Tony-centric angst. Ship or no ship, whatever you prefer more, and sad end - or if you're not comfortable with that not more than a hopeful end. I just want you to crush my heart and make me cry. A lot. If that's nothing you want to write, that's okay, I love your writing anyway! Thank you for all your hc's and fics! :)

HELLO, FIRST OF ALL, I AM SORRY FOR TAKING THIS LONG AND SECOND OF ALL, THANK YOU FOR BEING WILLING TO WAIT. 

I hope this quenches your thirst for angst! I’ll admit to not really? Writing angst that much? So I’m not sure how this holds up, but I hope it’s okay! 

Loosely inspired by canon.

As a child, Tony comes to the realization that he is not meant to be loved. 

His mother tries. Oh, God, she tries. She brushes his hair in the mornings, places bandages over his bloodied knees whenever he went to play out in the garden and inevitably fell due to an untied shoelace, but nothing--nothing--she does makes up for the way his father treats him, the way those barbed words wrapped themselves around his heart and lungs and squeeze until he could barely breathe. 

See, dear old dad makes sure that his dissatisfaction with Tony makes itself apparent at every turn. Tony isn’t smart enough, he isn’t quick enough, he isn’t careful enough, he isn’t tough enough. He cries too much, clings too tightly to his mother, spends more days reading about King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table than brushing up on his advanced mathematics courses. 

“You're useless,” he remembers his father sneering, smelling faintly of alcohol and cigar smoke, while he desperately bites his lower lip to stifle his sobs as he picked up the remains of his toy car on the floor, “spending your time on those things instead of studying. I don’t see why Maria bothers. I certainly wouldn’t.” 

Clutching the scraps of metal to his chest, Tony runs out of the room as fast as his legs can carry him. He throws them in the trash, nearly retching up his entire lunch as he does so before going into his bedroom and curling up in his bed, buried under a ridiculous amount of blankets. He doesn’t know what to do to make his father happy short of running away and risking his life on the streets. 

He doesn’t know what to do to make his father love him. 

He keeps to himself at school. People don’t seek him out, and he doesn’t seek people out. He gets labelled as the “eccentric rich boy,” which is fine by him. 

Except there’s this other kid, James Rhodes, around 3 years older, that won’t stop trying to get him to come out of his shell. It probably helps that they’re roommates, otherwise Tony would be giving him a wide, wide berth. As in, making detours to the other side of the campus kind of wide. 

“C’mon.” Rhodes slides him a plate laden with a microwaved chocolate croissant. “Talk to me a little.” 

Tony eyes the plate. He hesitantly reaches forward, like he’s afraid that Rhodes is going to snatch it away from him at the last second, before bringing it towards himself. He nibbles at the edges of the pleasantly warm croissant. “Why do you care so much?” 

“Because you seem scared every time that I see you?” Rhodes answers. “Listen, Tony, you’re young. Younger than anyone else on this campus. I’m... worried, you know? You need someone looking out for you.” 

“I don’t need a babysitter.” 

“And I’m not trying to be one. I’m just saying that you’d be better off having someone who cares for you. I’m not going to swaddle you and put you in diapers.”

Tony wrinkles his nose. “You better not.” 

Rhodes smiles at him. Tony finds himself smiling back.

It’s nice, having someone with him at school. He and Rhodes--or Rhodey, as he now calls him--are basically attached at the hip. They do anything and everything they can together. Tony has almost forgotten how it’s like to be this happy. 

He tells Rhodey one day, tentatively excited, that he’s found this girl: Sunset Bain. She’s a brunette with hair all the way down to the middle of her back, she’s wicked smart with a rapier wit, and, most importantly, she doesn’t care that Tony’s a Stark. 

“Stop growing up so fast,” Rhodey complains. “It’s making me feel old.” 

“You’re 19.” 

“I feel old.” 

They go on dates--nice ones, but not expensive. 

He has his first kiss with her. It’s quick and chaste, but he liked it. She doesn’t push him to go further, and for that he’s glad. 

He holds her hand as they walk under the trees. 

As it turns out, Sunset did a little snooping in his stuff when he’s distracted and made off with Stark company secrets right after they celebrated their 6th month together. 

“Stupid boy,” his father snarls, slamming a hand down on his desk. Tony’s heard it all before, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less. He doesn’t look up from the floor, hands clasped behind his back. 

Tony croaks, “I didn’t--”

“Didn’t what? Didn’t think she’d take advantage of you? Did you actually think she loved you?” 

Tony doesn’t respond. He doesn’t want to appear to be even more of an idiot, because, yes, he actually thought she loved him. She would whisper as much when they cuddled on the couch, anyway. 

“Unbelievable,” Howard mutters, taking Tony’s silence as confirmation of that fact. “Get out. I have to deal with this mess that you made.” 

Tony nods. “Yes, sir.” 

He leaves, each step heavy. Everything after that is a blur. All he knows is that he left that room and he ended up back in his dorm, face down on the floor, sobbing his eyes out with a half-empty bottle of Vodka lying next to him.  

His parents die at some point. Car accident.  

He sobs into his pillow. He wishes--

He wishes he was in the car, too. At least he’d be with his mother.

Rhodey has been his anchor through all of this. He lets Tony ruin his shirts with his tears and his snot. He brings Tony coffee and cupcakes whenever he thought he could use some cheering up. Hell, he even offers to TP Sunset’s house--a tempting offer if he didn’t know that Rhodey would end up arrested for doing so. 

Like most good things in his life, Rhodey ends up leaving to join the Air Force. Tony wishes he could be selfish enough to ask Rhodey to stay a little longer, but he doesn’t. 

He gives him a hug and a pat on the back, and Rhodey is gone.

Rhodey tries to contact him. He calls, sends letters, e-mails, but Tony doesn’t reply. 

He knows it’s self-sabotaging. He knows that it’ll end up ruining one of the rare positive relationships he’s ever had in his far too long-feeling life, but he doesn’t care.

He’s never deserved Rhodey’s love. 

Tony is unsure if he should feel the glad the morning he wakes up and doesn’t see a missed call from Rhodes sitting in his inbox. 

He drifts along in life. Stark Industries was handed over to Obadiah Stane, and Tony has no plans on taking it from him. 

He drinks, orders takeout, spends his days on his phone or laptop. He’s rich enough that he doesn’t ever have to lift a finger to work in his life. It’s a boring--if safe--life. 

Crossing the street one day, he literally runs into a guy: tall, broad shoulders, with pretty blond hair. He apologizes profusely, but the guy brushes it off, tugging him over to the other side when a car honks. “I’m Tiberius,” the guy says, holding a hand out.

Tony takes it. “I’m Tony.” 

He falls in love with Tiberius fast and hard. It’s like Sunset, but a million times more intense. There’s just... something about the man that makes adrenaline pump in Tony’s veins and gives him a high that he has to spend hours shaking off afterwards. 

Of course, he’s terrified. Rhodes isn’t going to be there if something goes wrong (and something usually does go wrong when he’s concerned). 

Then Tiberius kisses him right before he leaves Tony’s apartment, and he melts. 

“No one else could love you like I can, Tony,” Tiberius murmurs against his lips, the movie they were watching all but forgotten in the background. 

Tony hums. He wraps his arms around Tiberius’ neck and draws him closer. Tiberius loves him. Maybe all of his insecurities were wrong.

“Ty,” Tony says in his best soothing voice. “Leave him alone. He didn’t know.” Tiberius is weirdly territorial. He won’t let anyone near Tony, man or woman, young or old. 

“Like hell he didn’t.” Tiberius continues to glare at the trembling man in front of him. “I should knock his lights out.” 

“Don’t.” Tony grabs onto Tiberius’ bicep and starts to pull him away. “C’mon, let’s just leave. We’re going to miss our reservation.” 

Tiberius rips his arm from Tony’s hold. “Oh, so you’re siding with him? Maybe you should go on a date with him if you care about him that much!” He stomps away, leaving behind a scared, slightly frazzled Tony. 

“I’m sorry about him,” Tony says to the man next to him, trying his best to put on an assuring smile. “He can get riled up.” 

“It’s--it’s fine,” the man replies. “I should be the one apologizing to you. He’s... you’re going to be alright, right?” 

“Of course I am,” Tony replies, confused. “Why wouldn’t I be?” 

The man looks at him with pity.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Tiberius says, arms around Tony’s waist, kissing his neck. “I just love you so much.” 

“Yeah.” Tony’s tone is empty. Tiberius has... well, he’s changed a lot. Tony thought that he was possessive before, but now he’s like a monster. All the woman did was wink at him and Tiberius yelled at her to the point where she was on the verge of tears. 

He still loves Tiberius, though. He thinks he does. He’s not too sure. Tiberius loves him, though. He knows that. 

Tiberius pauses. “Do you not love me anymore?” 

“What?” Tony places his hands on Tiberius’ shoulders. “I do!” 

“Why didn’t you say it back?” 

Tony swallows. “I was... distracted.” 

Tiberius narrows his eyes, gaze going steely. “Are you thinking about her?” 

“Ty--”

“You are, aren’t you?” 

“You’re being ridiculous--” 

Tiberius’ hand moves up to the back of Tony’s neck, and Tony feels the ice cold grip of fear in his stomach. “Who else is going to love you if not for me, Tony? I’m the only one who can put up with you.” 

Tony feels bile rise up the back of his throat. This isn’t healthy. This is far from it. 

But if this is the kind of love that he deserves, then he’ll take it. 

[afrodeitiess]

Wedding Bells

𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐏𝐈𝐄𝐂𝐄𝐒 | Prologue

𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: Tony Stark x Black!Oc

𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 1780 Words

          THE CREAMY WHITE wedding dress seemed to become tighter with each growing second, constructing her breathing and pushing her chest together so that her breasts had no other direction to go but up, up, up.

         Topanga Woods has never once imagined that she'd be here. She'd never thought that she would ever choose to spend the rest of her life with one person and she remembered being quite averse to the idea of marriage. She was as stubborn as they came and that she was no picnic to be around. The idea of marriage has always felt very far away, like some inevitable fate that would one day catch up with her and drain all of the light from her life.

          Every single time that her father had brought up the topic of marriage before, she'd always said that she'd die all alone and surrounded by a million cats and while her stance on the cats still had not changed, it was now hard to imagine her life without Tony Stark. It was difficult to say exactly when her feelings for the millionaire, playboy genius, philanthropist - his words, not hers - had suddenly morphed from hatred to mere tolerance and eventually to love but she'd never imagined that she'd be so excited at the prospect of walking down the aisle and becoming his wife.

         Despite all of this, Topanga felt an iron grip over her heart, squeezing and wrenching until she felt as if she could just crawl into a hole and die. She'd known to expect this as she'd lived her entire with anxiety and she was always second-guessing her decisions and sweating the simple things but all of her fears and doubts were bubbling over inside of her.

          What sort of wife would she make? She wasn't the most accommodating person and she required her standard eight hours of sleep to function. Topanga had a tendency to self-destruct, to simply give up or ruin something before she could end up hurt and alone. Being with Tony made her happy and she loved being able to wake up next to him every morning and being able to make him smile with a simple corny joke. She loved him and she wanted the best for him but she couldn't shake the feeling that he deserved better. Somebody else.

        Besides, the title of Tony Stark's wife would definitely be different from all of the ones that she'd occupied previously. They'd started out as enemies and rivals and with time, they became friends and eventually, she was his girlfriend and then lover. And in the sum of a few years, she'd managed to add fiancée to the list and now, she was taking in the title of his wife.

         What sort of mother would she make? She hadn't known her own mother as anything other than the woman had left her father soon after she was born. All that Topanga had ever had was her father and a letter from the woman who had birthed her. She didn't particularly care for her mother. What a pair she and Tony made with their various mommy and daddy issues.

         Topanga allowed herself to chuckle at her own thoughts and shift ever so slightly. The little movement was enough to catch her seamstress' attention. "Stop moving. You're going to mess up your dress and then you'll have to walk down the aisle looking like a mess." Topanga adhered to her instruction and resisted the urge to retort that stating all of the things that could go wrong was not helping her anxiety at all. She was already singing that song to herself on repeat.

         Within half an hour, her makeup was all done and Topanga was grateful, although she couldn't feel her face. She sat in front of the mirror and glanced over her shoulder to make sure that her makeup artist wasn't looking before she wiped furiously at the vivid red lipstick that she'd painted all over her lips. "Are you decent?" Topanga heard a voice call from the door. She could recognize her best friend's voice anywhere.

         "Decent," she called to Alex and she heard two sets of footsteps from the door.

         "It's nothing I haven't seen before anyways," a voice called and the words were followed by a low chuckle. Topanga could hardly stop the smile that perched itself on her lips, despite her upset feelings. Her husband-to-be. She turned around to find Tony stumbling into the room, hands over his eyes.

         "I found him outside straight up freaking out," Alexis explained as she led Tony by the arm further into the large room.

         "I was not freaking out. Tony Stark doesn't freak out."

         Topanga scoffed underneath her breath as she could recall several times that he'd done just that. She smiled at him, although he couldn't see her and picked up the bottom of her dress and she waved off the makeup artist to give them some time alone. "Hey baby," she greeted him.

         "Hey," he returned and despite her closed eyes, she could hear the smile in his voice. "I wasn't sure if it was seeing the bride or talking to her on the wedding day that's bad luck."

         Topanga chuckled at him and turned around before instructing him to do the same. "What's wrong?" she asked, taking a step in his general direction and she heard him do the same. "You're not going to disappear on me, are you?" Her tone was joking and for the most part, she was but she couldn't help the fear that crept into her mind and her moisture that seemed to materialize on her palms.

         "I would never. Besides, I highly doubt that there's any distance that would stop you from hunting me down and making my life hell," he said, laughing lightly as stepped to the right in the direction of her voice.

         "True," Topanga admitted with a shrug. She took another step back, using the sound of his voice as a guide. "All of these preparations are getting to me. It would be much easier if we just eloped."

         Tony's answer came far too quickly for her comfort. It seemed that he, too, was second-guessing everything. "We still could. We could run away from here and get engaged in Vegas. It's really nice there this time of the year. I know people there that can marry us for little to no money - I did that once, true story - and then we can honeymoon around the world and come back and show off the tan that we don't have."

         Topanga's brow jutted up at the insinuation that Tony had been married once although she was sure that it was another story from his crazy life and she wasn't all that excited to hear about it. She lifted her feet back one step towards him. This time she was sure that she was close. She could feel it. She lifted her hand to grab his and was met with cool air. "To your left, Tony. No, not my left. Your left."

     This time she reached back and her skin made contact with his and she wrapped her hand around him and exhaled quietly. She rested her back against him and their hands intertwined behind them and suddenly, nothing mattered. Not the doubts that she was having or the too-tight dress or Tony's Vegas story. All of her doubts were reduced to whimpering whispers at the back of her mind. She felt Tony exhale and slump a bit. "Where is all this coming from, Tony?" she asked after the silence became too much bear.

         "I'm not sure," he whispered to her as they both sunk to the ground, not caring that it would be really bad if her dress was stained. "You know that I never really pictured myself getting married. Commitment? Gross, right. But I always figured that I would eventually and I love you. I absolutely want to spend the rest of my life with you but I don't know, I just always thought if I ever did get married, that my mom would be there."

        Topanga couldn't think of anything to say. They talked about everything but while they'd talked about his parents before, she knew that it was a touchy subject for him. She wasn't sure that there was anything that she could say that would fix it so she didn't say anything. She simply rubbed circles at the back of his hand. It wasn't much but to Tony, it was everything. She was there and that was all that mattered the most. Still, he couldn't stop himself from voicing his fears to her. "Do you think we're making a mistake?"

         Topanga sighed. "I really don't know." There was something quite daunting about having to voice her worried out loud. Even if it was to the person who knew her best. She got the sense that she didn't have to say it anyway. He already knew. "I hope not but we're human and making mistakes is what we do best. We're all too skilled at shattering but we're together, right? And we'll always be able to put the pieces back together."

          Topanga wasn't sure if she believed it or if she was simply trying to convince herself but she really hoped it was true because she'd found something great with Tony and she wasn't willing to give it up. Not now.

         A beat passed between them.

         "God, I really want to kiss you right now," Tony commented, his fingers playing with hers. "You know that I'm absolutely in love with you, right?"

         "You've said it once or twice," she laughed at him and she was surprised to find that she didn't feel as awful as she did before. If anything, she was in a hurry to put a ring on him and officially make him hers. "I love you." She leaned back against him and he squeezed her hands tighter as if she was his only tether to the world around him.

         Topanga couldn't help but think that everything would be okay. They were only two people and they were, by no means, perfect but they were together and they were in the eye of the storm. It was quiet and perhaps that was all they'd ever have but it was them against the world and that was more than enough for the two troubled souls.

___________________

𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄.

━ So that was the first chapter and it’s kind of tame and not nearly as emotional as the rest of the story will get but I hope you enjoyed it. Like and reblog if you did

[potter-loves-malfoy]

you have a few favorites? They don't have to be brand new or anything. Just some that you love?

I have some new and some old! Also some Jeddy cuz I’ve been reading a whole lot of Jeddy lately, but I’ll put those in the end! Also, this is gonna be mostly smut because that's what I mostly read unless I’m in a very wholesome mood. This is gonna be long, like very long, I’m bad at picking favorites there are just too many (34 to be exact, apparently and this is the most I could narrow it down). (I also ran out of things to say because I remember loving those fics SO MUCH but I dont remember enough to give a “review”)

The Magic Cat by dot_the_writer

When Harry sees Draco Malfoy with painted nails and wearing an oversized jumper covered in cat fur, his obsession from school comes back in full force. Featuring supportive friends, cute cats and lots of Harry figuring out what he wants.

This one I read just this morning when my best friend asked me to rec her some hurt/comfort (hi Jess) and it’s my most recent favorite. Sooo cute!

A New Page by bixgirl1

Draco just wanted to find out what was up with Potter’s new attitude. Some light stalking, the discovery of a hidden diary, and a lot of wanking later, and he has some answers.

They’re just not the ones he expected.

(Things have changed since sixth year, folks. …Mostly.)

This one also, I read fairly recently and I mean @bixgirl1 fics, do I even need to say more?

The Tapestry of Kinship by khalulu 

Harry is at loose ends, Draco is good with needles, and Draco’s young daughter wants to see a certain tapestry repaired. The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black will never be the same.

Helix by Saras_Girl

Seven months after the end of the war, Harry is feeling lost. Fortunately, he is about to be offered an unexpected and sparkling chance to find himself again. [2014 advent fic]

Sanguis Vita Est by Shiguresan

Whilst Voldemort’s prisoner, Draco is made a vampire and forced to take Harry as his first meal. With Draco managing to resist the temptation to drain him, just barely, in a moment of blind rage at what he has been forced to become, he aids Harry in the destruction of Voldemort. But even with that threat vanquished, once back at Hogwarts, Draco finds himself disturbingly addicted to Harry’s blood. And amongst all this, a dark shadow looms ominously on the outline of the forest, watching them closely. A vampire!Draco story and also an ‘Eighth year’ story.

I read this ages ago but I remember hesitating before I started to read this because it’s 312k+ and I didn’t really read super long fics back then, but I loved this so much, also vampire!Draco is a good

Turn by Saras_Girl

One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

My favorite execution of the “character’s life kinda sucks so character magically gets sent to an alternate universe” trope. Oh also, it’s part of a series

dirtynumbangelboy by magpie_fngrl

After Harry’s unfortunate encounter with his ex, Draco Malfoy makes him a proposition. Draco wants his parents to stop matchmaking him and Harry wants to make his ex jealous. All they need to do is simply pretend they’re in love. Problem is… Draco already is.

Again another amazing fake relationship fic!

Give Me Sweet Oblivion by tryslora 

Italy seems like a long way to go to keep a fetish secret. But the club is exclusive, and the far away location, and Muggle nature, promises anonymity from Wizarding Britain. The only problem is that sometimes, great minds think alike.

One of the actual hottest smut fics that I’ve read, recced to me by my friend @the-cellar-spiral Fun fact, we planned and failed to write a kind of sequel to this, we had @tryslora ‘s permission and everything, we just never really had time, but who knows maybe in the future.

Every Me and Every You by bixgirl1

Harry liked his life just fine, thankyouverymuch — so it was bad enough when a sly fairy cursed him to leap into alternate realities. But seeing Malfoy in all of them? Definitely way too much. And worse yet: needing the bastard’s help to figure out how to get out of of it.

It was a disaster waiting to happen, really.

Well… probably.

Another AMAZING alternate universe fic, using @magpiefngrl ‘s tumblr prompt AU’s as said alternate universes that Harry keeps going in and out of, which makes it 974957839 times better! Also Unspeakable!Draco, also the alternate realities are almost always sexual and it’s great

Dating for Dads in Denial by aibidil

In which one wizard designs and another reluctantly patronises a magical matchmaking service, amidst the chaos of children and parenting.

Since You Asked by Magnolia822

Newly retired Draco Malfoy writes an anonymous agony column for the Quibbler, for which he quickly gains a reputation for offering pithy, practical advice. His life is comfortably predictable until he receives a letter from a reader seeking a divorce from his wife of thirty years. The situation seems far too familiar … could the writer be the Savior himself?

Salty Sweet by Aelys_Althea

Draco was a Master. He’d always been one, but having a town of Muggles consider him as close to God’s gift as they would ever receive was certainly validating. Except it wasn’t enough. After years of settling, of conjuring masterpieces with his fingers and his prowess, Draco realised he needed a change.

How hard could it be to find an apprentice pâtissier that did what they were told? As it happened, doing ‘what was told’ was about the last thing on his inevitable prospect’s mind. Trust Harry Potter to be the one to turn Draco’s life upside down.

Moldova’s Magical Tea by aibidil

Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, and—to everyone’s surprise—Draco Malfoy are opening a magical tea shop to revive wizarding tea culture and, hopefully, to bring the community together after the war. Harry, who is unemployed and trying to find his way in post-war society, wants to help his friends with their new business—but that means spending a lot of time around Malfoy. Featuring Muggle music from summer 2001, trips to the Muggle cinema, herbology and magical herbal infusions, and Draco trying to convince Harry that, while he’s still a snarky git, he’s no longer a bigot.

The Critiquer by dysonrules

When Harry submits his cock photo to a renowned Cock Critiquer and gets a terrible review, he decides to take a photography class to hopefully improve his skills.

Career Choices: Harry: Shiftless layabout; Draco: Cock Critiquer

But, In Dreams by kedavranox

Harry is a Seer, with a particular affinity for speaking to the dead, but this comes at a price he’s slowly killing himself to pay.

My Name Was Safest in Your Mouth by alpha_exodus

Harry didn’t ask for Malfoy to walk into his shop after so many years. But one event leads to another, and soon they’re scrambling to help Hermione find the solution to one of the most insidious viruses the wizarding world has ever seen. To make matters worse, Malfoy’s hiding something, and Harry really wants to kiss him—except Malfoy doesn’t date. Ever.

I Can’t Take It! by XxTheDarkLordxX

After the war, Draco Malfoy became an author. A best selling author whose books move the hearts of those who read them. Which wouldn’t be a problem for Ron if all of them weren’t about Harry! It was obvious to him that Malfoy was in love with his best friend but why was it that no one else seemed to think so? He was going to get to the bottom of this and get Harry to stop mooning over the blonde idiot at the same time. Perhaps, they just needed someone to come along and get them to fess up. For the safety of his own sanity, Ron was going to help Malfoy ensnare Harry. That is, if they can get along long enough not to kill each other.

The Full Monty by magpie_fngrl

Harry poses for a naked Auror calendar and Draco goes batshit crazy with lust.

Tea and No Sympathy by who_la_hoop

It’s Potter’s fault, of course, that Draco finds himself trapped in the same twenty-four-hour period, repeating itself over and over again. It’s been nearly a year since the unpleasant business at Hogwarts, and Draco’s getting on with his life quite nicely, thank you, until Harry sodding Potter steps in and ruins it all, just like always. At first, though, the time loop seems liberating. For the first time in his life, he can do anything, say anything, be anything, without consequence. But the more Draco repeats the day, the more he realises the uncomfortable truth: he’s falling head over heels for the speccy git. And suddenly, the time loop feels like a trap. For how can he ever get Harry to love him back when time is, quite literally, against him?

Moon-Eyed by loveglowsinthedark 

Draco Malfoy, Head of Veela Affairs at the Department of Magical Beings, does not do people favours.

Harry Potter, recently turned werewolf, is not “people” – not to Draco anyway.

Does Draco plan to fall in love with Harry when he decides to help him? No. Does he end up falling in love with him anyway? Pft, what do you think?

Adventures in Solitude (Are You There, Sirius? It’s Me, Draco) by oceaxe 

Draco is grateful to have had Sirius’ portrait to confide in all those years ago, about his sexuality and unwanted feelings for a classmate named Harry. But when he gets the portrait out of storage after twenty years, the secrets he has kept from Sirius all along come out. Secrets about Draco’s role in the war… and secrets about Harry Potter.

Proof of the Pudding by gracie137 

When Greg’s bakery opens on Diagon Alley, Draco doesn’t expect it to the place he ends up finding love, but then again Harry Potter had always ended up defying Draco’s expectations.

AKA: The One Where Gregory Goyle somehow ends up running both a bakery and a match making service.

The Rules of Matchbreaking by PalenDrome (nerdherderette)

For Prompt #51:When Draco gets fired, he reluctantly agrees to break up a girl’s relationship for her disapproving mother. Through word of mouth, the one-time gig turns him into a professional Matchbreaker, however he winds up falling for one of his clients and must somehow balance his secret job and love life.[excerpt]:“So who is it? The Curse-breaker and the Veela? The head of the Department of Magical Transportation?” Draco’s eyes lit up. “The Dragon-tamer?” Now that particular Weasley could be fun.

“No. It’s Harry,” Hermione said, the name exploding out of her in a rush.

Draco blinked, stunned into silence.

“Harry,” he said, after he recovered his faculties. “You want me to break up Harry and the Weaselette?!“

One Night at the Leaky by birdsofshore

Harry should have known better than to accept a drunken dare. Especially when Malfoy was sitting right there, looking like that and wearing those bloody tight trousers.

This is the very first Drarry fic I read, while trying to research dares for a seungchuchu fic I was writing at the time and it is the fic that made me ship Drarry and it will always hold a special place in my heart.

Ligabus Filium by Tessa Crowley (tessacrowley)

It should be careful, deliberate, but it isn’t. Like every other part of their relationship, it happens gradually and then all at once, before they even realize it. And when the little blue threads bind them together, there’s no going back.

The Printed Press by Soupy_George

Draco Malfoy was still slightly amazed that he was standing on the doorstep of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. He never would have thought that Harry Potter’s very public and very … sweary, emotional explosion would have led to him offering Draco, of all people, a job.

All Life is Yours to Miss by Saras_Girl

Professor Malfoy’s world is contained, controlled, and as solitary as he can make it, but when an act of petty revenge goes horribly awry, he and his trusty six-legged friend are thrown into Hogwarts life at the deep end and must learn to live, love and let go.

Foundations!verse by Saras_Girl

Reparations by Saras_Girl

Harry is about to discover that the steepest learning curve comes after Healer training, and that second chances can be found in unexpected places.

Foundations by Saras_Girl

When one door closes, another one opens – with a bit of a push. Life, love, and complications. [sequel to Reparations]

So this was included in my healer!Harry rec list but this series is just so good also it has way too many fics in the series for me to link to all of them but once you read the two main fics there’s no way you’re not gonna wanna read the one-shots that come with the series as well.

Are You Mine? by gracerene

A trilogy of fics set in an Epilogue-Compliant Harry Potter ‘Verse, with various accompanying time-stamps and one-shots. Fics are in chronological order.

Not Just When You Want to Be by gracerene

A little over a year after the end of the war, fate seems intent on pushing Harry and Draco together. Staying together is a different matter entirely.

What I’m Waiting to Find by gracerene

James has devoted the past two years to being the best damn Chaser that Puddlemere United has ever seen…and to getting over his teenage crush on Teddy. But when Teddy comes back to England after a long stint abroad, James’s resolve to move on is put to the test.

All of the Time by gracerene

Twenty-five years later, Harry and Draco find their way back to one another.

I read this one fairly recently as well and this is definitely one of my all-time favorite series, the first and third fics are Drarry and the second is Jeddy. I honestly love this so much that I lowkey want to go find @gracerene09 down and thank her for writing such an amazing series. Oh fair warning though, the first fic made me ugly cry and opened a wound that only the third fic could heal so you know, prepare yourself. There are also accompanying oneshots that are also v amazing!

This Must Be the Place by aibidil

When your dad is Harry Potter, your face shows up in Teen Witch, your social media videos go viral, and sometimes your life depends on pretending to date your metamorph godbrother, whom you’ve been over for years, thank you very much. Or, the one where James and Teddy do animal yoga and risqué karaoke and their families could do with seeing fewer videos of them snogging.

I’m a sucker of the fake relationship trope and @aibidil wrote this sooo beautifully

The Hidden Side by gracerene

Twenty years ago today, James Sirius Potter was born into this world. Four years, two months, and six days later, somebody took him.

Oh god this, THIS Auror!Teddy is one of my favorite Teddy’s. Also super intriguing plot and still quite a few unexpected twists even though the biggest revelation you guess/know pretty early on. Oh and background drarry!

[therunawaystudent]

You Can Come Home Again

He doesn't even get a chance to compose himself outside. She's opening the door before he even reaches for the knob.

“Come inside Miguel.”

She closes the front door with a little more force than necessary. She's even angrier than the wedding night fiasco. He stands, awkwardly in the entrance.

“I'm sorry…”

“How'd you break your nose?” She's calm. Too calm. Early calm and deadpan in her voice.

His eyes go to the floor. “I tripped.”

She looks at his mouth. “Smile.”

“Mom–”

“Show me your teeth! I want to see what you've done.”

Sighing, he reluctantly bears his teeth, smiling without joy and internally cringing at the expression on her face.

“Four thousand for goddamn braces and you nearly knock your tooth out! This is going to cost more money that we don't have right now.”

“I didn't mean to! I'm sorry, okay?” He didn't mean to fuck up his face. He didn't mean for anything else to happen other than to light off a stupid firework.  

“I cannot believe you!”  

“I'm sorry.”  

“Did you not think I would worry when you didn't come home yesterday? You're lucky Johnny let me know where you were! Did you not think I'd be worried sick over the fact that you hadn't come home all night!”

“I didn't… I wasn't thinking.”

“Well no kidding!”

He practically walked into that one.

“I'm sorry, really!”

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry…” She's not having it. “You know after a while ‘I'm sorry’ stops meaning anything."

“I know.”

“Do you?”

He sighs.

“You can't just run away like this! You're lucky nobody got hurt, but you can't just do these things! You can't!”

“I didn't mean to blow up anything important, it was an accident.”

“Anything important... " That may have been the wrong thing to say to her. "Where did you even get explosives, hmm?”

Miguel tugs at his hair. “I bought them when we were in Arizona…”

“Who the hell sells those to teenagers! Putos imbéciles… increíble…”

She's just swearing at everything now.  

“Mom please... por favor, si sólo pudiera calmarse."

“Dios mío Miguel! ¿Quieres que me quede tranquilo? Yo realmente, no puedo mirarte…”

He walks to the living room, right past her, sitting on the couch.

“What do you want me to say?” He's frustrated, prepared for yelling of course, but he could never quite get used to talking in circles.

“Why didn't you just come home?”

He gestures grandly to the room, to her. “This! I was worried about this!”

“Worried about me yelling at you?”

“Yes!”

“Of course I'm gonna yell at you, what the hell did you think was going to happen? You know what those things do, right? What if you had hurt yourselves? Would you have thrown it with people around?”

“Of course not! I'm not an idiot.”

She puts a hand up, the irony clearly lost on him. “You blew up a mailbox. I think it's a little late for that."

She walks into the kitchen, rummaging in the freezer until she pulls out an ice pack. She stands at the side of the room, and he keeps trying to explain himself.

“I just didn't want anything catching on fire… I didn't mean for any of it to happen, it just got way out of hand.”

“Here,” She hands it to him. “What you did was stupid. I don't know why you did it but you did it, and you should've just came home.”

“I was worried.”

To her, the statement is ridiculous. “When you do stupid things like that, you can't be afraid of the consequences, you understand?”

“Yes.” Gingerly, he presses the coldpack to his face, wincing a little.

“You shouldn't be worried about coming home to me. Home should be where you run to when you get in trouble… not a friend's house or the dojo or anywhere else, just home, you should always come home.”

“I wasn’t expecting anything to happen. It was just meant to be a stupid joke but then everything got way out of control.”

She’s pacing the living room now. "Miguel, look at you! Your nose is broken! Your beautiful smile–"

He cuts her off. "Ruined, I know." More things for people to make fun.

"You've been coming home beat up, drunk, getting into serious trouble for months now! I just…  what’s wrong? Am I not doing enough for you? What is it?”

“No, no it's not that!”

“What is it? Tell me please, I can't make it better unless you let me know what's going on.”

I just… I….” He can't make the words come out. He tries to talk without choking up. He’s cried too much today.

She huffs, tired with his excuses, tired of dealing with his not-talking and his avoidance. “I’m not dealing with this anymore, Miguel. You've been all over the place lately, I don't know what's gotten into you!”

Her words get under his skin, another straw in a pile that had been growing for months.

“Then don't deal with it...” He's yelling now. “Just let me handle things then! I don't need you to worry about me all the time! I can handle myself okay?”

His brain is screaming at him too now, chastising him for letting go.

Jesus Christ, aren't you cried out yet! Stop fucking crying!

It's no use though, the proverbial dam broke a long time ago and he can’t for the life of him pick the pieces back up again.

He continues, voice a tad nasally and much too thick for his liking. “I'm sorry I'm screwing things up, I'm sorry I get beat up at school, I'm sorry I broke my teeth and I'm sorry you’ve had to throw away your whole life for me!”

She’s confused now. “What are you talking about?”

“You work and you take care of me, that's it. I mean, don't you miss spending time with your friends? Going out on dates or outing or something? I don't wanna be a burden, and I'm sorry I keep doing this and...”

He goes to wipe his nose, so used to it running but remembers the packing.

“I'm sorry you have to raise a kid you didn't even want!”

“Miguel!” She can't believe her ears. Why, why would he even–

“It’s true!”

“Why are you saying this!”

He frowns, as if all this is obvious and he shouldn't even have to explain it to her. “You're still young... you're not even 40 yet and you're working all the time, you don't go out or have fun. You're always at home or at work. You don't even have…” He doesn’t wanna say it.

“A what? A husband?”

He shrugs. “Yes… I mean, aren't you lonely? I can't imagine anyone being happy with this.”

She looks at him, at his bruised face, his wet and flushed cheeks, his bloodshot, guilty eyes.

“I'm so sorry…” He hangs his head, and she suddenly feels stupid for not realizing it sooner.

She wonders; had she complained to him one day, making it seem like that's how she felt all the time? Had he heard her talk to her own mother about the state of things and think that she secretly hated him because of it? Sitting beside him, she puts her hands on his face as gently as she can, turning his gaze from the ground to look at her.

“Miguel, listen to me...”

Breathing through his mouth, he hiccups.

“I love you, nothing in my life is more important than what's in this house, understand that? I don't care about getting out. I'll date when I'm ready. I'm working, I have you two to keep me happy…” With one hand, very gently, she dabs away his tears with her sleeve.

She wants to hug him, just cuddle the hurt away and make sure he never has the same look on his face again. She wanted to make sure he knew he could always still come to her. She didn't know when he stopped coming to her when he was in trouble anymore, or what made him think that being home was something to avoid. She never wanted him to feel like that again.

“You are what keeps me happy, not what keeps me from being happy.”

He nods, as much as he can while she's still holding his face in her hands. She remembers a little joke that always used to make him smile.

He was talking about superheros. Their strength, their agility, their speed. The superpowers he always envied.

"Superman can move entire planets!"

“Oh yeah? Well... " She thought a moment. "I can hold the entire world in both my hands.” She asserted, watching as his 7-year old brain tried to comprehend it.

He'd scrunch his face up in derision. “That's impossible...”

“You want to see how I do it?”

He nods of course, intent on proving her wrong. What a ridiculous assertion. The world was much too big!

She put both hand on either side of his face, watching him smile with slow realization.

“See, the whole world, right here.”

...

She wants to see that smile again.

“My whole world is still right here,” Her fingers wipe at his darkened eyes, a smidgen of sadness in the corners. “See. I can still do it.”

He looks a little lost, until he remembers it too.

His smile is less goofy, more grown up and a little sadder-looking when he's in this state, but it's there. “You have nothing to be sorry for. There has not been one single day where I have regretted having you in my life.”

He hugs her like he's holding on for dear life, and by the time he's stopped crying again, he's practically falling asleep on the couch.

She can't recall when she stopped tucking him in or hugging him goodnight. Maybe it was when she started working nights, coming home when he'd be waking up, or maybe it was around the same time that picking him up at school became embarrassing for him.

For her though, she could find no real reason not to do it.

She lays him on the couch, head propped up by pillows and a blanket draped over him. She wants to carry him to his bed, but ever since he reached 14 he'd become too tall for her to carry like that.

He's getting bigger. Getting older before her very eyes.

She doesn't want to leave him and he doesn't object when she tucks herself into the same spot on the couch, his head under her chin like her used to before it became something too childish.

They're both exhausted, asleep within minutes.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

🏰⚔️🐲🐲👑 DMODT 50?- I don't know if I stuffed my numbers again and this may be 51 - full draft

Eren had been had. At the time of the attack he hadn't realised it, and yet, now he wall and truly did as he watched the world through the bars on his windows. His mail now checked before reaching him. His movements limited to within the manor itself. He couldn't take Luca outside. He wasn't allowed to attend public functions, and all of it was under the guise "that they couldn't guarantee Eren's safety". The alphas foolish enough to have attacked him, had mysteriously escaped the manor's dungeons, Zeke sounding bitter as he informed him. Despite how much he hated it, he'd been forced to rely on the alpha as a storm had hit Marley so severely that Eren had thought he'd freeze to death in his room. Zeke had heard him coughing and wheezing, so had brought him into his chambers where he settled both he and Luca down in front of the fire. Being 5 months pregnant, Eren was starting to worry for the life inside of him. He was still barely showing. It didn't feel like a clutch, yet he didn't feel the movements of a foetus. His omega's need for comfort had kicked him long ago as had the puffy small breasts and sore chest, but all he felt was disgusted at the idea of being held by another, and because he hadn't openly been practicing magic, he feared it was affecting him like Obsydin's collar had. He wanted to go home. No. He wanted to go to Draecia. He wanted to see Historia, and Ymir, even Freya and Steege. Yet all he could do was watch the world through the bars on his windows. "Prince Eren, Prince Zeke has asked you to join him for dinner in his room" Mikasa and Armin both looked to him from Eren's bed where they were playing a game of cards that held no interest to Eren "Tell Prince Zeke that Prince Eren declines his offer" Mikasa looked back to her hand of cards and continued her move. Mikasa didn't care for the two new guards placed outside Eren's door, tiny dark haired woman named Pieck, and a tallish blond man named Porco. Both who'd sworn they were loyal to Zeke, and both of which creeped Eren out. Porco sounded as bored as Mikasa did as she declined the offer. Though, Eren really didn't see why Zeke couldn't just knock on the door and ask himself "Luca and I accept, please tell my husband I'll be there shortly" In roughly 30 seconds once he slid off the windowsill, walked past his glaring friends, unlocked his door and stepped into Zeke's room "Very good, Prince Eren. Dinner is already served, please be prompt" "Thank you, Porco" It was nearly a full minute, Mikasa and Armin both deciding they needed to scold him over the time he was spending with Zeke. They both the saw the need to remind him of who Zeke was, like he didn't know that for himself. Armed with Luca on his shoulder's, his son trilled loudly as they entered Zeke's room. He knew the sweet and adorable times couldn't last forever, but lately it felt as if Luca had entered his rebellious stage, doing everything he knew he wasn't supposed to, then huffing and turning his back on him when Eren scolded him for his bad behaviour. Letting himself into Zeke's room, Zeke was already seated at the dinner table, drinking wine from the scent of it. Walking over to join him, Eren took his seat across from his husband "Prince Zeke, I must say I'm surprised you didn't just knock on my door to ask me to join you" Lowering his goblet, Zeke nodded "I would have, but I feared what Mikasa would do to me for disturbing you" "We both know you don't fear her. Is there something. You wished to discuss" "I want to send you back to Eldia" That got Eren's attention, for the first time a long time he felt something he could describe as pure happiness. It must have shown on his face "I can't remember the last time I saw you smile like that" "There hasn't been anything to smile about" "Your morning sickness has passed? Is that not something to smile about?" Eren's smile fell, both hands going to his stomach "I wouldn't say it's passed... I... I'm concerned about the baby. I'm not exactly human, but..." "Do you require a healer? Are you in pain?" Zeke's voice held concern. Concern Eren didn't want to hear. He had his own thoughts and views on this pregnancy, and a growing suspicion that it wasn't Zeke's. Normally an omega would seek the comforts of their child's father, yet Zeke's touch left his stomach turning. Of course, it was only a suspicion and more than likely simply a manifestation of his burning desire for the baby to Levi's "I don't think a human could help. I... when I was pregnant with the empty clutch, it was different to this... maybe it's because I'm part dragon, but... It doesn't feel normal" Zeke swore softly "I had intended to take you to Eldia. Pieck, and Porco, have both reported you seemed to be growing more and more depressed, and it has been quite some time since I visited... If you're not up for the trip..." "I am! I mean, I am. Just... I don't understand you at all. I asked to return to Eldia before, and it was never allowed" "Pieck, Porco and Yelena all feel it would be good for you, and the Queen has permitted it. It won't be for another few days, perhaps as late as a couple of weeks, storm season is upon us" Storms equalled waves. Waves equalled a swaying boat. Oh, god. No... Swallowing down the vomit that rose into his mouth at the thought of a violently rocking ship, Eren's voice was almost begging for the answer "no" as he asked "I... so we have to go by ship?" "Does that trouble you" "I... honestly, I would prefer not to. You may have been busy fucking in your cabin, but both Luca and I fell ill from the fumes" "Ship is the only way" "Maybe for humans" Zeke shook his head "I cannot allow you to take your dragon form, my mother has decreed that such actions are an act of treason" "I simply cannot understand your mother. She treats you like a pet, to praise only when you've done something right. Has she always been the way she is?" "No one would dare speak of the Queen that way. I remind you to hold your tongue" That wasn't a "no". He'd come to realise that everything Zeke had done was so that his mother might love him. All of his partying, was him playing the act of a ruler who didn't care, because he truly didn't know how to care for anything or anyone on a level that wasn't barely 5 inches on a good day. He'd grown warped and jaded as a product of his mother's indoctrinating. This discovery had been thrust upon him, without his want or need of it. It only served to mess with his head even more. He'd started to sympathise for Zeke, which conflicted with the fact he still mostly hated him... even if he had helped him, and kept his word not to touch him... "Anyway, shall we eat? Luca looks as if he wishes to..." Luca jumped off Eren's shoulder and onto the table, he'd gone through his own mini growth spurt, going from the size of a small cat to a large, and somewhat fat one. His jumping was much more "thuddy", and his lack of stealth even more lacking "Yes. And about Eldia, thank you. I really miss my people" Zeke muttered something about Eldian's not being worth missing, yet Eren ignored the statement, not with being so close to returning home. Luca cut their dinner short, which was fine since they'd dissolved into eating in an awkward silence that left Eren feeling jumpy, with Luca picking what he liked off the side of Eren's plate. His son didn't like what meat was being served, making it shown by smacking Eren's plate off the table, then leaping down and stalking back to Eren's room. Losing his temper, Zeke let lose a string of words at Luca, and about abnormal dragons, that Eren was disgusted to hear, causing him to storm off after his son in just as much of a mood as Luca had been. Slamming the door behind him, Luca growled as he clawed at the bedding while Armin tried to pull him off the sheets his claws were shedding "What happened? Come on, Lu... leave the sheets alone" Luca huffed, if the little dragon could roll his eyes, he would have "Zeke wants to keep me happy and safe, so we're heading to Eldia the next few days we get. You know, I was actually starting to maybe not hate him as much, but he just called... He called Luca a beast that would have been wasted on his parent's sheets, and dragon's freaks of nature" Mikasa growled, jumping off the bed "I'll fucking kill him" "You're not killing him. We're returning to Eldia, and I may have permission to visit Historia about my pregnancy. Just... fuck. I don't know what to think. One moment he's being nice and he's keeping his word, the next he's being like this! This is what I hate about alphas! Just tell me what I'm supposed to feel, because I don't fucking know anymore!" Hanging his head, Luca let out a sad cry. Running his hands through his hair, Eren took a deep breath, trying not to cry and failing miserably "I know. I'm sorry for yelling, but you were naughty and you know it. I have to eat because I'm growing you sibling inside of me, and I can't have what little food I get spilt across the floor... god. Just... fucking Levi... fucking alphas... why did he have to leave?" Abandoning her war pose, Mikasa gathered him up in her arms, before pulling him down onto his bed. Armin and Luca piling in for an awkward cuddle "Eren..." "Can you both stay tonight? I don't want to be alone" Armin stroked his hair, hushing him softly as he rolled away from Mikasa. He loved her, but the whole alpha thing was upsetting his omega "Of course. Do you want to stay in your room, or come to ours? Luca ruined your sheets" Even when he was a shit, he was still Eren's baby boy. And no one got to blame Luca for things without at least attempting to understand why first "He's learning his boundaries, and learning how tiny he really is. He wants to communicate, but can't find the words... That he's lonely. And he's bored. We're both trapped in here... I want to go back to Eldia. I want to go home" "Did Zeke give an exact date?" "No. We have to go by ship too, if I change into a dragon here, it'll be seen as a declaration of war" Armin and Mikasa both groaned at that. They'd seen how sick it had made both him and Luca, and now they had to go back again... and then there'd be the trip back to Marley... "But you are a dragon. Fucking Zeke" "It wasn't Zeke, but Dina who decided it, Mikasa... I just want to go home. Things wouldn't be so bad if we were home" Armin kissed his forehead "Don't worry, we'll be home soon. Nicollo's probably hoping we stay away, fearing for his kitchen" "I miss the castle. I miss our friends" "Even Jean and Erwin?" "No... but only because they're alphas. Sorry Mikasa, but with the baby and since the attack every time I smell an alpha I get so stupidly scared" Mikasa patted his hip "I know. I've been trying hard not to scent you by accident" "Thank you... I'm so sick of feeling like this... and this thing inside me... I'm not ready" "Eren, you still have months to go. If... if you don't want this baby, it's still not too late" "I don't know what I want, Armin. I haven't since he left..." "When I see that midget next, I'm going to break his nose for leaving you" Armin gave a giggle "Just his nose?" "Nose, legs, dick, pretty much anything I can get my hands on" His friends might have found the humour in Mikasa's words, but his omega definitely didn't as he growled in warning "He's still my mate" "He left you..." "Mikasa, maybe we shouldn't. Even I can smell how upset that made him, and I'm a beta. I'm sorry, Eren. Let's just get some sleep? The sooner we go to sleep, the sooner we leave, right?" "No. It's... it's my fault for being so hormonal. I'm worried about the baby... I know it has to be Zeke's, but I keep praying it's Levi's. He wanted this so much, and I just keep thinking that if something's happened to the sword, then maybe somehow I fell pregnant before Zeke touched me. I know I'm making myself miserable" "Do you maybe want to talk about what happened when you were gone? I know you said you're not ready, and you don't have to tell us everything, but maybe you can tell us how you met Luca? Or where you went? You said you'd been in Europe. That must have been fun?" Eren sniffled, he didn't know why Gretta was the first thing that came to mind "Someone tried to poison us when we stayed in a whorehouse..." Mikasa shot up, Eren flinching at the sudden action "Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this?" "Mikasa! You're scaring him" "But someone tried to hurt him..." "That was like 8 months ago. Do you want to tell us about it?" 8 months... it'd only been 8 months since his birthday? At the same time, he could easily believe it. Every day since coming up Marley had felt so long, and he was 5 months or so along... if he did the maths, it was nearly 8 and a half months, which meant it would soon be Levi's birthday. The thought brought a fresh round of tears to his eyes. He wasn't supposed to be here without Levi "Maybe... just a little though... about Luca. These people killed his mum, and he was the only egg to survive... he waited over 20 years to hatch... and his father... Hannes... he died too because of us..." Not meaning to, and unable to stop himself, even through his tears and sobs, Eren word vomited about his time with Hannes. About his new scales, his breath, what Hannes was like and how he cheated at cards. The more he talked about Hannes, the better he felt. It hadn't been perfect there, but it'd felt right at the time, and Levi had been so much better then. As he talked Luca fell asleep mid story, his head atop Eren's as Eren talked himself right to sleep. This left Mikasa to move Eren, while Armin moved Luca in order to take care of the sheets the dragon had ruined. Both of them knew Eren would fix the sheets right up when he could, but would freeze without proper bedding. That was how the three of them found themselves curling back around the omega protectively under Armin's blankets, with Eren's piled on top like some kind of weird nest. * Eren had started to wonder if he was ever getting out of Marley. At first he wondered if it was because of the fact he'd stormed out of dinner with Zeke. His omega instincts jumping straight to him having done something wrong, rather than the acceptance that the weather had been awful. He wanted to be in Eldia for Levi's birthday. It was silly, he knew it was silly, but he just wanted to feel closer to Levi again. He'd already decided he wanted to use Levi's chambers while staying in the castle, under the guise of needing safety and familiarity given his pregnancy. Setting sail on the 21st of December, Eren felt like he was dying the moment the ship hit the first hard wave. Zeke had kept him close as they'd boarded the ship, more or less propping him up as he led him through to the main cabin that would be his husband for the voyage. As luck would have it, the waves hadn't got the memo about his seasickness or pregnancy. The boat rocking, swaying and creaking in ways that did nothing to reassure him. For some reason entirely foreign to him, Zeke stayed. The piece of shit, arrogant arsehole stayed. He held Eren's hair back as he vomited, he forced the omega to keep his fluids up, and in a moment of distress induced weakness, when Eren asked him to hold him, he did. The alpha had spooned up between Eren and the door, protecting him from anyone who might enter without permission. Despite being mostly out of it, he couldn't remember telling Zeke he'd been scared of anyone entering without permission, the alpha had just seemed to know. Like he seemed to know Eren didn't want anything from him other than arm around his waist and a chest against his back. There were no kisses. No gentle touches. No whispers. Zeke had laid there and allowed Eren to position himself how he needed... which was with his face off the side of the bed and the bucket close. He knew the man was trying in his own ways for the sake of the child inside of him, but what if Zeke was to find the child wasn't his? What came after that? To Zeke, Eren was just the thing around his baby, not even completely human. Each and every cruel thing Zeke had ever said about Luca, or to Luca, ran through his head each time his mind began to think back to everything "nice" Zeke had done for him. With his thoughts and his nausea, it was a miserable trip back to Eldia. Weak legged, and dehydrated, Zeke supported Eren off the ship and onto the docks of Eldia. He'd only set foot onto the wooden jetty, but he already felt better. The wind. The smell. The magic. He was home... really home "Eren, if you need me to carry you..." "I'm ok, Zeke. Thank you for asking. I must remain strong for my people" "There's remaining strong, and there's looking so pale you seem as if you're going to fade away" "Zeke, please. I don't want to fight" "You were so violently ill..." "I was just as violently ill on the trip over, and you didn't seem to mind" "You weren't pregnant then..." For a moment, Eren wondered if Zeke knew how pregnancy worked. You didn't magically get pregnant from sneezing. On his shoulder, Luca chirped "Get off of him!" Growling at Luca, Luca growled back at Zeke. Eren's poor head throbbing caught between the pair of them. Yes, it was uncomfortable having Luca on his shoulders given how stiff and sore his body felt, and Luca would probably be better in Armin's hold, but he'd been so sick that he hadn't spent that much time with Luca "Zeke, Luca stays where he is. Luca, I know the boat ride also left you ill. Once we've met with Levi and Hanji we'll take a shower" "You need to eat and sleep" "I might be able to if the world stops swaying... I hate ships. I hope you know I hate ships, it was just as bad the first time" "Eren, the world isn't swaying. I think you need to sit down. You're not well, and the stress on the baby isn't ok" "The carriage is at the end of the jetty. I need to show my strength and reach the end of the jetty. Ok?" "Why do you have to be so fucking stubborn?" For a moment, Zeke sounded so much like Levi that Eren's head shot up, the omega's eyes widening as he searched for his alpha "Eren?" The moment had only lasted a heartbeat, when Zeke spoke again he knew with certainty that it'd been him all along "Sorry. It's nothing. Let's head to the carriage" From the docks, it was a short ride through the city to the military barracks where Erwin and Hanji were waiting for them. Both of them looked exhausted, and both of them looked surprised when Zeke lifted Eren off his feet, before pausing to let Luca just from the carriage and into Eren's lap. Striding over to the pair, Eren tried he hardest to ignore the whispers from the gathered soldiers, who'd know all about the threat of war, and just what kind of an alpha Zeke was "Prince Eren requires a healer. Show us to our chambers at once" Erwin glared at Zeke, Hanji immediately noticing the invisible sparks flying between the pair of alphas and shaking her head. He was the youngest out of the four of them, why was he left to keep the peace "Prince Zeke is concerned about the baby. My morning sickness and seasickness doesn't sit well with him" "Eren..." "Zeke, we are in Eldia now. I know you're loathe to be here, but they won't hurt me" "You need a healer. You're sick and you have been for months" "It's called being pregnant" "Then what of your fears and panicking? And of your nightmares? Each day you grow worse. It's not healthy for the child" The child. They all knew about the child. They didn't need to discuss it in front of everyone "Prince Eren will be seen to immediately" Eren rolled his eyes, Zeke wasn't backing down "Fine. Ok, but they'll say the same thing I am. Fluids. Rest. Food and herbal teas to settle the stomach and to help relax" "Then consider this a second opinion before getting a third in Draecia" "If I say yes, will you back off?" "Do not forget you're the one who asked me to hold you" "And don't forget I also told you I could walk. Now, can we head inside? I'm tired of being talked about by everyone surrounding us, and I'm tired of being held like this" Zeke gave a huff, but didn't kick up a fuss as he carried Eren inside.