#i don't remember what i tagged previous posts about this oh well

[gallium-spoon]

The tiny figurines saga continues:

Someone taped one to the disinfectant wipes. It's a holiday so fewer people are here, which may mean fewer suspects...

Or! They put it there at the end of the day yesterday, counting on it not being discovered until today

Too many suspects! I am vexed! (And a couple people still think I'm the one hiding them) (Tbh I wish I was)

[quickstappen]

track 004: the see is calm (before the storm)

A/N: i know i've disappeared for a while but it turns out that second year of college is very different to the first. now finally after two months i've got it under control so hopefully we'll have a semi-regular schedule for now, i'll try to post something every two weeks (on weekends most likely). anyway, this one's not very plot heavy but it's needed for the story, enjoy!

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paola_sainz contrary to popular belief, I do actually work sometimes ;) keep your eyes open guys, things are getting done here

tagged: sean_cliff

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F4ST_C4R oh please say its a new collection, i was too late for the 1st one and it sold out ����

oui_lyanne who the fuck is sean

↳ 4ND1 from what i can see he's another designer

↳ oui_lyanne ooh, collab maybe? 👀

↳ f1w1tch OR the super secret boyf

L3CH41R well, looks like she's not in spa after all

mcwilliams are you gonna comment on the williams/carlos announcement??

↳ prplsector i mean,, why would she?? it's not her announcement, she's got a job

lightning_enjyr oh my god are those pieces from the new collection?? 😳

danielricciardo Respect the grind 💪🤠

↳ sadiebull sorry what is daniel ricciardo doing

↳ fastkiwi trying to relate to the youth lol

shithappens oh god women in suits 😳

STARG3N guys,,, what is carlos alcaraz doing in the likes

↳ hamilteaa the tennis player???

↳ STARG3N yeahhh

sean_cliff you know it's always a pleasure working with you 🤭

↳ paola_sainz oh I know, I am brilliant of course

↳ elmatadorf1 jesus what a self-centred bitch 💀

predestined55 no one's gonna buy this crap anyway 🐍

carlitosalcarazz We need to play again sometime! 🎾

↳ paola_sainz do your job at the Olympics first, then we'll see 👏

↳ isawthesainz THEY KNOW EACH OTHER???

↳ dutchlion sure looks like it 👀

oscarpiastri You gonna spend the whole summer break working too?

↳ paola_sainz actually no, this one guy invited me to visit his family you know

↳ oscarpiastri Lucky guy

↳ lightning_enjyr oui_lyanne surely you see my point now

↳ oui_lyanne everyday i am closer to believing you

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paola's messages:

paola_sainz posted new instagram stories!

caption 1: a little pitstop before our journey ;)

caption 2: mid-rant and a little drunk but he's fine, alive and well

⟶ alex_albon replied to your story!

alex_albon oh thank god you're with him, he hasn't been answering my calls and texts

paola_sainz yeahh, we figured. me and Osc are with him rn but we have to leave in the morning

alex_albon shit, how is he really? do you seriously have to leave?

paola_sainz he's better than yesterday, mostly pissed atp but I'm sure that the self-hatered and misery will come soon

paola_sainz and yeah we have to, we've been trying to visit Oscar's family together for ages

paola_sainz I think he's going home for the rest of the break

alex_albon jesus, that's good at least

alex_albon I'll try to reach out again

paola_sainz good idea

caption 3: couldn't take this little guy home, apparently "2 is enough cats Lola"

⟶ maxverstappen1 replied to your story!

maxverstappen1 I think you should've taken him anyway, he is very cute

paola_sainz I knoww! I named him Barron Meowmilton

paola_sainz unfortunately, I do not fancy sleeping on the couch for the foreseeable future so we left Barron at a local shelter ;)

maxverstappen1 Ah, I understand

maxverstappen1 We'll always remember you, Barron Meowmilton

caption 4: and we're off to see the future in-laws ;)

⟶ hattiepiastri replied to your story!

hattiepiastri has my brother done something we don't know about??

paola_sainz nahh, dw about it, you'd be first to know after your mum

paola_sainz I'm just sure I'm gonna marry him someday, there's no other option

hattiepiastri you're both so disgustingly gone for each other it should be studied

hattiepiastri can't wait to see you though

paola_sainz girll me too, it's been too long

paola's messages:

liked by jensonbutton, hattiepiastri and others

paola_sainz can confirm that kitties are just as cute down under as in the rest of the world ;)

see all comments...

shithappens paola talking about cats at all times? fork found in kitchen

arthur_leclerc did you try to take the cat home?

↳ oscarpiastri take a wild guess mate

↳ paola_sainz don't know what you're talking about mate

↳ oscarpiastri I have a feeling that you're gonna grossly overuse mate now

↳ paola_sainz now why would I do that... mate 😇

barbiegirl what are you doing in Australia girllll

elmatadorf1 thank god she's not going home with Carlos, he doesn't need her 🐍

jensonbutton Come back in one piece please

↳ paola_sainz don't you worry about that Jense, I am well taken care of ;)

oui_lyanne yeah okay she's actually in australia

charles_leclerc You're right, that's a very cute kitty

lightning_enjyr did you buy any new records?

oscarpiastri Have you seen the sights yet?

↳ paola_sainz not really, my tour guide has been kinda busy

↳ oscarpiastri That's a shame, there's a lot of great things to see

↳ paola_sainz don't worry mate, I've been looking at different kind of sights plenty enough, lot of beach days yk? I can wait a few more days 😉

↳ oscarpiastri Oh, well in that case 🫢

prplsector oscar is brave fr, I'll give him that 😳

4ND1 god the tension is this comment section is something else

ada_moore if Oscar's not the boyfriend and I was the boyfriend I am straight up fighting that man in some dark alley because that is so flirty and for what (if he IS the boyfriend, carry on please, the energy is unmatched)

L3CH41R how are her outfits always so good???

predestined55 Carlos just signed a contract and she's talking about cats and being a slut in the comments, great 😒

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hattiepiastri posted new instagram stories!

caption 1: did you know, we're killer on karaoke nights?

caption 2: doing all this late night talking

caption 3: we're keeping her oscarpiastri, if you don't wife her up I will

⟶ oscarpiastri replied to your story!

oscarpiastri You don't have to worry about that

paola_sainz posted new instagram stories!

caption 1: g'day mate! celebrity crush meet up officially checked out from my wishlist

caption 2: the locals showing me the best ice cream places in town

caption 3: hands that have never seen manual labour

⟶ oscarpiastri replied to your story!

oscarpiastri hey!

paola_sainz you're offended like it's not true

caption 4: bad bitch on the beach

liked by oscarpiastri, danielricciardo and others

paola_sainz most unexpected crossover of the year? maybe not as unexpected as you think! me and Robert did some cool things this week and I got to meet some sweet pets, I might not come back from 'Straya

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N3CKSTRI excuse me- Robert Irwin and Paola Sainz in one place? i might actually die

prplsector spain's sweetheart with australia's sweetheart, way too cute

dutchlion can someone actually explain to me how people can hate her? if you don't like her content just stop looking at it, but actually hating on her?? can't imagine

robertirwinphotography It was good to finally see you! The animals already miss you

↳ paola_sainz oh god please don't say that, I'll cry for real 😭 I miss them too

shithappens i dunno, i still think it's pretty unexpected

fastkiwi the way this isn't even the wildest thing she's done this season 😳

predestined55 can you like rot in hell now? two faced bitch 🐍

barbiegirl they'd look sooooo goooood together

↳ zoebryne_x ik right??

logansargeant Is zookeeper next on the cv?

↳ paola_sainz you're laughing but I'd be an amazing zookeeper

↳ logansargeant Who told you that? I wouldn't trust them, you'd end up taking all the animals home

↳ paola_sainz Robert said I'd do great!

↳ logansargeant I think that's just his job, plus he's too nice to tell you the truth

↳ paola_sainz you're mean, see if I bring you gifts when I get back

4ND1 can I meet Robert Irwin now??

oscarpiastri Still looking at sights?

↳ paola_sainz why, you jealous mate?

↳ oscarpiastri Don't worry, just curious

lightning_enjyr are they even trying to hide it atp???

elmatadorf1 can she just injure sth since she's playing tennis so much? maybe then we'd get a break from her stupid face 🤢

↳ STARG3N you guys are literally insane what the hell

madi_races every time i open the comment section i get whiplash, on twt everyone is trying to figure out who the boyfriend is, the press is eating this all up, people are placing bets and here is oscar just shamelessly flirting, it's like a different universe

arthur_leclerc I'm coming with you next time

↳ paola_sainz ditch Charles and come here then

hammertime_1 guys i really don't think Oscar's the boyfriend, she's just way out of his league

isawthesainz jesus she's so cringe, excuse me while i throw up

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paola's messages:

NETHERLANDS 2024

liked by charles_leclerc, logansargeant and others

oscarpiastri And we're back 👍 break at home was good but it's nice to be racing again

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laile_f1 he's never beating the calm cat allegations

catstri81 that is the most oscar caption to ever caption

maximumformula he's doing the dad pose 😭

4ND1 i can't with him 😭 he's just a guyy

chat_withmani ohh he's posted the girlfriend!!

elmatadorf1 i can't believe he still has a seat

↳ prplsector can you guys stop being fucking petty for a minute

paola_sainz so did the girlfriend like it in the down under mate?

↳ oscarpiastri Yeah, since she's now best friends with my sister I'm pretty sure she did mate 🙄

↳ paola_sainz what, you jealous of your sister?

↳ oscarpiastri She basically stole my girlfriend

lestappen116 he looks so happy 😭

fastkiwi it was good to see you back at home

landonorris Let's go mate! Good weekend 👍

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paola's messages:

click here to be added to the carved my name taglist!

taglist: @blushmimi @Ale-522 @joalslibrary @jaydaaasworld @vroomvroommuppett @sugarhoneylemons @formulaonebuff @clove0 @rockyhayzkid @glitzyditzy @coriyaps @irishmanwhore @gr3yhues @kikiki04 @fall-bambi @nichmeddar @sunfairyy @formulaal @marauders-wife @theseus-jpg @heavy-vettel @anxxiousaries @linaversion @gloriousmoneyrascalbiscuit @d3kstar @camelliaflow3r @delululeclerc @lesliiieeeee (xxx - couldn't tag you)

DISCLAIMER: i do not know anything about this people, this is not real life, this is just something for fun, i do not know anythings about their life or personalities!

[islandofsages]

Hey ! Can I ask for the Diasomnia boys reacting to a male!Ignihyde!reader who join the gargoyle club (idk if it's name) ?

Like, the reader is really just interest in the gargoyles, and isn't scare of Malleus (or anyone, really. Man is too tired for being scare.)

Ignore it if you don't want to write it.

Have a good day/night ! And happy new year too.

characters: diasomnia boys x male ignihyde reader

tags: platonic, canon compliant, fluff, imagines + scenario format; mentions of malleus in literally everything, lilia being a dad

warnings: none

author's notes: reader is so idgaf energy i love it. also i just remembered the small font feature exists LMAO do tell me if it's too small, i'll change it back to the original size!! if not, i'll change my previous posts to the smaller font. also you have a good day/night too anon ! and happy new year :D

Malleus Draconia

Oh? You want to join the Gargoyle Studies Club? You’re being serious? Oh!

Words cannot describe how happy he is about a fellow gargoyle appreciator though his expression doesn’t really show that

And to think you see him as just another dude… such honor was bestowed upon him…!

He’ll excitedly bring you to every gargoyle he’s found on campus and infodump about them - and you’d write them down somewhere if you’re in the mood

Sometimes you’d find new gargoyles and bring him to them and you start to do likewise

Even outside of club activities you two geek out about gargoyles at times which has earned you two the title of nerds

“Have I told you about the time I’ve met talking gargoyles? I never thought I would see such a day…”

Gargoyles aside, he has times where he confides his personal daily life in you and in turn, he’ll ask you what’s it like being in Ignihyde, etc

After being around each other so much, it feels weird when you guys aren’t together - some people would ask where Malleus is whenever you’re on your own, and vice versa

People found it weird how close an Ignihyde student is to someone from a different dorm too and you’re not sure if you should be flattered or not

But in a sense, Malleus really is your other nerdy half.

Sebek Zigvolt

You?????? Join the club where Malleus is president and is the only member of?????????

“WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU’RE WORTHY OF JOINING SUCH A CLUB?”

Well, for one, the fact that you’re unfazed by his constant yelling and therefore probably too tired to be fazed by anything, consequently making you the perfect companion to Malleus because you wouldn’t react inappropriately to Malleus’ conduct

And that you actually are interested in gargoyles. That too. You tell all this to him

He clutches his head with one hand, debating your logic. You don’t know how and why but he accepts your argument

That doesn’t stop him from monitoring you two’s activities from afar but, again, you couldn’t care less. A sixteen year old’s fanatics is just part of the growing process

Outside of club activities, he interrogates you on what you’ve discussed with Malleus and you just tell him the truth: gargoyles

At some point, he gets so engrossed in your infodump about gargoyles his eyes shine with a new light

Of course, he mentions something about Malleus obviously liking something so interesting and befitting of his status - but he also thanks you for enlightening him on the topic and that he’ll go to you for more information if need be

You’ve converted him. You sometimes see him clutching a book about gargoyles around the school. It’s filled with notes sticking out of the pages. And a portion of that sometimes he’ll run to you to confirm about a fact or two

Maybe it’s safe to say you two are kind of friends now.

Silver

He doesn’t think too much of it other than being glad that Malleus finally has a fellow gargoyle fan he can geek out with

He’d see you and Malleus chatting it up around campus and he can’t stop the tender smile on his face from making an appearance

Sometimes he himself will try to strike up a conversation with you and gargoyle geek aside, he finds that you’re just a pleasant person to talk to and be around

He admits he’s not too close with any of the folks from Ignihyde aside for the Shroud brothers but you brush him off by saying that nobody is really

He also admires how you don’t really let anything get to you. Again, you shrug it off by half-joking that you’re too tired to be scared by anything at this point

He somewhat empathizes with you on that point, grieving over his narcoleptic tendencies with a heavy sigh

You try your best to cheer him up or if you have experience with such things, you give him advice on how to manage it

You then jest that he can tag along with you and Malleus’ club activities whenever he’s free if he wants. The more, the merrier, right?

He ponders it for a minute and nods. You didn’t think he’d actually accept the offer

“I don’t see a reason to refuse. Sebek and I have accompanied Malleus on his trips before. I’m sure this time around will be more fun with you here.”

And so you all do. You all have a royal time together - and the joy on Silver’s face is especially princely.

Lilia Vanrouge

He sheds (crocodile) tears at the thought of Malleus finally having an additional member in his one-man club more friends

Since you’re chill about it, he is too! As long as you get along with Malleus, everything will be fine and dandy

If anything, he’s a bit impressed by how it takes more than the average amount to gain a reaction out of you 

…and a bit concerned. Are you sure you’re getting enough nutrients? His paternal instincts kick in when you tell him you’re too tired to have a reaction to anything

He knows that Ignihyde students are mostly shut-ins but he still advises you and makes sure you get a balanced diet

It’s like he’s adopted yet another son

“Oh, (Y/N), you really ought to take care of yourself more.”

You grow a bit annoyed at him sometimes but you know his intentions are good so you don’t protest

You do feel very loved though. You didn’t expect this much from just joining a club for a topic you’re genuinely interested in

But you have to admit it is kind of hard to come by people who aren’t intimidated by the Malleus Draconia, even if you don’t see it as anything special

What’s special, though, is the affection Lilia holds for you.

[smoooothoperator]

What Was I Made For?

16: Slow It Down

childhood enemies, forced proximity, accidental pregnancy, enemies to lovers (👀)

Warnings: imposter syndrome, someone you loved made a little comeback

a/n: HELLO!!!!! How is everyone going??? I don't know if this is a good chapter, i kinda feel that it's a filler one, but I needed to write it and post it to take this out and continue with the story

if you want to play a game and ask things about Dafne

Masterlist

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If you want to be tagged don't forget to message me!

Every way of feedback is very welcomed

Charles Leclerc is a good lover. He knows how to soothe my worries, taking care of me in ways that make me feel cherished. At night, he wraps his arms around me, his hands warm against my belly. His soft kisses trail along my skin, each one a tender reminder of his love. As he holds me close, whispering sweet nothings, I feel a deep connection that goes beyond the physical.

He shows me every minute of the day what our future can look like.

And still, my mind was playing me tricks.

The day we announced the pregnancy, the internet went crazy. Not only because of the pregnancy itself, but because of what it meant: my retirement. None of us wanted to see our socials, deciding to erase the apps from our phones and focus on the present, focus on the last days he had to spend here before he had to leave to get ready for the new season. We barely got out of the property, not going to the village in case more paparazzi were around to take pictures of us. 

"Are you sure you don’t want to come?" he murmured, lying next to me and resting his head near my belly. "The hotel's got a pretty nice spa. You could treat yourself all day."

“I know, I know…” I sighed, brushing his hair. “It's just… I hate going to the snow”

“Oh? Why?” he frowned, looking up at me, rubbing my belly softly.

“You don't remember?” I asked, surprised. 

“No? What happened?” he frowned, sitting on the bed next to me, moving to wrap his arms around me. 

“O-oh” I smile weakly, taking a deep breath. “In my second year in Haas, Mick and I decided to go to a training camp in the snow. Everything was going fine until one day our trainers suggested we take a walk outside. And those stupid ones apparently didn't know how to read maps, nor the weather radar. Well, they made us get lost and we were caught in the middle of a snow storm. We were out all night, frozen because of the snow. I had a pneumonia for a few days”

“Oh shit” he gasped softly. “I… I didn't know about it. How come you never told me?”

“Because at that time I hated your guts? And I thought you knew it, we were in the news” I laughed. “It was funny, actually. But after that I only go to the snow if I know I'll go just to have fun throwing snowballs and then going back to a safe place”

I nodded, letting go a long sigh and she held.me close to his chest. He rubbed my back softly, and I could hear his heartbeat, going fast.

“Say it” I sighed, rubbing his chest.

“During that time…” he sighed, and I closed my eyes, biting my lip. “You were with Mick when that happened?”

I sighed, swallowing thickly. He remembers… He remembers what I told him the morning after we woke up in that hotel room. 

“Yeah” I sighed. “But we never dated. We were only friends with benefits. We…”

“Yeah, I understand” he sighed, nodding. His chin was on top of my head and I could feel the slow movement of his head. “You two were teammates in Formula 2, both in the Ferrari Academy. Spending time together leads to other things”

“Are you jealous?” I teased him, trying to erase the sudden tension that was in the air.

“He knew about my feelings towards you, Dafne” he whispered. “Jealousy is not the world. It would be betrayal, maybe” 

“Oh…” I sighed. 

“Mick and I share a few things” he sighed, playing with my hair. “I lost my father, and he feels like that too, even if his is not dead. We know what it is to not have our fathers in the garage supporting us. And it made us be friends, somehow. But… Yeah, maybe that's why he distanced himself, cutting ties”

“I'm so sorry, Charles” I mumbled, looking up at him. “I… I never knew. We only did it to erase the tension and stress of the races…”

“Hey, you really don't have to explain it. I understand it, I promise” he smiled weakly, but I just shook my head and cupped his cheeks. “Dafne…”

“It was because of me that you lost a friend” I sighed.

“The past is the past, Daf” he smiled weakly. “Now I have you. And I'm happy with that”

I smiled weakly, leaning closer to him and pressing my lips on his. 

There was a little voice in my head, reminding me of everything he has done. A voice that tells me every sad thing, all the times he made me cry. A voice that reminds me that I'm not the only one that he had in his bed. A voice that counted slowly, reviving in my mind all the girls he had brought to the races.

“Remember how he humiliated you at your first win” a voice says. “How he called you a whore in front of everyone. You shouldn't trust him, he ruined you”

I tried to push away that voice, not listen to it. I tried to forget everything, to look at the present and think about the future. 

“I have to get my suitcase ready” he groaned, but still kissed me deeply. 

“You can do it while I make dinner” I whisper, moving closer to him, sitting on his lap. 

“Yeah? What do you have in mind now?” he whispered, holding my hips. 

“Taking care of my man” I smiled, feeling the little jump of my heart when I said those words.

“Your man?” he chuckled, looking into my eyes.

“I-I mean… Yeah?” I swallowed thickly. “I… Well, we… We are together, right?”

He smiled and nodded, kissing my lips again, showing me all the feelings he has deeply in his heart. 

“Of course we are” he whispered against my lips. “What I wrote in my post was real, Dafne. I always wanted you”

I looked at him with a smile, feeling my heart melt slowly. 

But again, that voice creeped into my thoughts, sounding like nails scratching on a chalkboard. I hugged him, hiding my face into his neck before he could even see how my smile got weaker. 

“He might say that he always wanted you, but he still had many models in his bed” it said, with an evil smile. “Who knows, maybe he never changed. Maybe he still talks with those girls”

I hugged him tightly, closing my eyes and trying to think about his touch. As I watched Charles, a mix of emotions churned inside me. I wanted to trust him, to believe in the love he professed, especially with our baby on the way. But doubt lingered, like a shadow I couldn't shake. I took a deep breath, reminding myself that we were in this together. For the baby’s sake, I needed to find a way to trust him.

I sighed, pressing soft kisses on his neck, biting his skin softly and hearing him moan softly. 

“Of course, mark him. Make sure the girls he brings to his bed know that he is taken” that voice laughed, making me feel shivers. “He's a cheater. A cheater. A cheater”

I pulled away, gasping softly, blinking slowly. Charles looked at me frowning his eyes, holding my hips. He was confused, just like me.

“I… I forgot I had to feed Athena” I said quickly, moving away from his lap and getting out of the bed. 

“W-what?” he frowned.

“I had… I have to give Athena a pill” I lied. “I… Yeah”

I swallowed thickly, walking out of the room and calling my cat, somehow praying to be alone for some seconds.

I walked downstairs, standing in the middle of the living room. I took a deep breath, then another, then another. 

I have to trust Charles. We were going to start again, we are going to raise a child together. He said he loved me since he was a kid, since the first time he saw me. 

“That's not true” the voice smirked. “He's playing with you. Don't trust him”

I took a deep breath, gasping, trying to get away from that spiral of negative thoughts, of that impostor syndrome trying to come back to my mind.

“Dafne?” Charles frowned, making me swallow thickly and turn around slowly. “Love, what's wrong?”

I swallowed thickly, hearing the way he called me, watching his worried eyes scan my body. He walked towards me, placing his hands on my shoulders and moving them to hold my hands, squeezing them softly.

“I…” I sighed, closing my eyes when I felt his hand on my cheek, making me lean on his touch. “I just…”

He sighed, nodding slowly. I swallowed thickly, trying to read his face, his mind. 

“Dafne” he sighed, smiling weakly.

“It's just… I want to be ready. I want to be ready to be with you. But I don't know if I am…”

“Oh, love…” he sighed, nodding. “L-look, I… I didn't want to rush things. I told you I was going to wait for you and I was talking seriously”

“I know” I whisper, nodding. “I don't want you to think that I don't trust you. It's…”

“You need to think. Alone” he sighed. “Okay”

“Okay?” I mumble, feeling scared. “W-what do you mean?”

“A week” he smiled weakly, bringing my hands to his lips. “I'll be in the training camp for a week. And you have a week to be alone, to think, to relax, to have time for yourself. It's partly my fault, I was attached to your hip this last month and maybe that's what rushed this situation”

“But…” I mumble. “Charlie…”

“My love” he smiled softly, making my heart melt. “This last month was the best month of my life, and I know we can work as an amazing couple. I love you, I really do. And I know you are working on it and I will wait patiently to hear you say those words too. A week is nothing, right?”

"He'll cheat on you," the voice in my head insisted, relentless and cruel. It echoed with every doubt, every insecurity, each word like a dagger. I tried to silence it, to focus on the love I felt, but the fear lingered.

“Yeah” I sighed.

I bite my lip and hug him tightly, breathing in his scent. His clothes smell like the fabric softener I use on the laundry, his skin smells like the shower gel of my bathroom. He smells like home.

“Help me make my suitcase” he whispered, kissing my neck. 

“Hhmm” I hummed softly, closing my eyes and leaning on him. “Sure”

He held my hand tightly, walking upstairs and going to his bedroom, one he barely has been using since he started sleeping in my bed every night.

I sat on the bed, smiling softly when I saw Athena jumping on it to lay next to me. Charles grabbed his suitcase and opened it on the bed, chuckling when my cat jumped inside of it to get comfortable.

I followed Charles with my eyes, watching him fold his clothes and place them in the suitcase. And somehow, that made my chest ache and my eyes water. Something about this made me realize that every week will be like this: watching him pack a suitcase and go to races, while I had to stay here and be pregnant and alone. 

“Are you okay?” he frowned, looking at me with worry, probably when he saw the tear that rolled down my cheek. “Dafne, hey…”

“Y-yeah, yeah” I swallowed thickly, rubbing my eyes. “Don't worry”

“Talk to me, come on” he whispered, sitting in front of me and holding my hand.

“No, it's stupid” I sighed, looking down at my belly, rubbing it. “I feel… I feel that my life is going to be like this for the next few months”

“How?” he smiled weakly.

“Watching you make a suitcase to go to the races while I have to stay here” I sighed.

“You can come to the races, Daf” he sighed. 

“There will come a point when I'll have to stop” I sighed. “I'll get bigger, my legs and back will hurt, doctors say that is not safe for me or the baby…”

He clenched his jaw and looked at me, placing a hand on my belly and rubbing it softly.

“Our baby will come in June” he whispered. “And I will be either in Canada or Austria. I… There has to be a way… I want to be in the last months with you, Dafne…”

“Charles…” I sighed holding his hand.  “Fred is annoyed enough with us… I can't let you get into more problems because of this. I can't let you lose your job…”

“If he dares to fire me then that's his problem” he laughed. “There are more teams that are dying to have me with them”

“But Ferrari…”

“Ferrari is my dream, yeah” he nodded. “But if they don't respect my family, why do I have to respect them? If Fred gets angry because I ask him for a few weeks to be with my family, then I can tell every media how he acted”

I looked at him, swallowing thickly. How can he be so calm with this? How can he be smiling like this?

“Don't trust him. He will abandon you. He will leave you for a model”

I closed my eyes, biting my lip and taking a deep breath. 

I have to stop it, I have to stop that voice full of venom.

Alone, again.

Just me, my cat and the silence. 

The day Charles left, he woke me up with kisses all over my body, whispered sweet words in my ear and my belly, promising to come back.

That morning, I saw him leave with my car, letting me keep his big car in case I needed it for other things. 

That was three days ago. Three days I spent alone in the house, playing the piano, walking around the field, observing my own belly moving slightly with soft kicks and recording it.

Everytime I stand in front of a mirror I look at myself, scanning my body with my eyes, taking mental notes of how much it has changed. How much my breasts grew, how my belly is getting round, how swallowed my ankles look.

Charles keeps saying I'm the most beautiful woman he ever saw in his life. 

“How many girls might have heard the same? He's prince charming, he flirts with all of them with sweet words”

I closed my eyes tightly, groaning. 

At this point, I'm going crazy, paranoid.

A week. A week to think. To be alone. Literally alone.

My sisters listened to me, and with my recommendation, they found a place in the F1 Academy, ready to help young female promises of the sport. And now, thanks to that, they are busy working and getting ready for the upcoming season.

My parents, both of them working. My dad, traveling around the world thanks to his career as a pianist, and my mom working as a CEO in Monaco.

Sometimes I asked myself how my life would have been if I followed their steps, if my sisters and I followed their steps. I could have been a musician like my dad, since he always said that I had the talent for it. And my sisters, if they didn't follow me into my career, would have been working with my mom.

But now the one that is jobless is me, the one that inspired them to study something that could help me. The one that changed the path of our lives.

“Stupid. Stupid Dafne”

The basement of the house was warm, thanks to the sun that lights the living room. I looked at the kitchen, smiling softly when I fixed my eyes into the pictures that decorated the fridge, the first scanner we have of our baby, and the envelope that keeps the gender.

We didn't talk about a gender reveal again. He said he was going to talk with his brothers and his mom, but never talked about when we could make it. 

“He doesn't want to do it, idiot”

“Stop” I groaned.

I heard her laugh. That laugh, my laugh. That laugh from when I didn't know I was pregnant. When I was happy, when I was untouchable. 

I need to breathe. I need to get out of this house.

I had my breakfast out of the house, sitting on the couch and looking at the landscape, bringing memories into my mind.

I was happy back then, without worries, without trust issues. I knew what I wanted and how I wanted it. I didn't have to worry about guys, about dating someone, about him being loyal or not. 

I was free. Free to do whatever I wanted.

And now, with 27 years, I am everything I didn't want to be. Pregnant, with trust issues, not knowing if I can trust the man I share a bed with.

“How pathetic” the voice, the old me, scoffed. “Look at you. That's what happens when you get your walls down. Stupid Dafne”

I closed my eyes tightly, taking a deep breath, shaking my head trying to avoid that devil in my shoulder.

I sighed, grabbing my phone and looking at all the messages, all the calls.

My friends called a few times. My mom, my sisters and my dad called too. Charles sent a picture of the views from his hotel room. 

Sebastian sent a text. 

“Everything would have been better if you stayed with him” she scoffed. “Sebastian was loyal, he never cheated. He even said he would buy a house with you. He would have done more things than Charles”

I swallowed thickly, reading the texts, trying to not answer them. 

“I am loyal. Loyal to Charles. To the father of my kid” I said to myself, repeating it like a mantra, trying to fight that inner voice.

“Fuck” I gasped when I noticed I was calling him, panicking when he answered.

“Yes, go with him” the voice laughed. 

“Dafne?” 

“S-Sebastian” I mumbled, swallowing thickly. “I… I didn't want to call, I'm sorry”

“No, it's… It's okay” he sighed. “How are you? I mean… How's the pregnancy going?”

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, laying on the couch and rubbing my belly.

“Yeah… Good” I sighed. “We saw the baby the other day for the first time”

“You know the gender?” he asked, making me bite my lip.

“No, no… not yet”

“Oh, okay” he sighed.

“Seb…” I whisper. “I… God, I don't even know why I'm calling you. I'm going crazy”

“Why? Hey, talk to me” he sighed. 

“It's just… I'm trying” I sighed. “This month he has been staying in my house, and at the start I only wanted to put a pillow on his face while he was sleeping. But now…”

“Now you are giving up” he sighed. “Look… When he came to the hospital the day you had the crash, he looked really bad. He was panicking, Dafne. He was so scared of losing you and he was ready to fight whoever took you out of the race. He probably did it before going to the hospital”

“He wouldn't do that…” I sighed.

“He would” he laughed. “He would do anything to have your attention. God, he was even ready to fight me because I didn't let him get in your room! That man is head over heels for you, so what's the problem?”

“The problem is that I have this annoying voice that keeps repeating to me that he will cheat” I whispered. “That he won't be loyal, that he's just playing to keep me out of Ferrari”

“Did he do something to make you think that?”

“N-no… I guess” I sighed.

“Then? That's the imposter syndrome, Dafne” he said. “You can't accept your own happiness, even if it's with someone that hurt you? That man loves you. Just… Trust him. Trust Charles”

“Im trying” I sighed. 

“Look, Dafne. I really appreciate you. You have been someone I cared for so much and for a moment I saw a chance for us. But he is your endgame. He always was” he sighed. “You two are meant to be together, no matter how many times you argue or fight. You two will find a way to be together”

“Seb…”

“Just trust him” he sighed. “Let your heart work for once. Give your heart the control of your decisions and stop making your brain work. I'm sure everything will be okay”

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and feeling little tears.

“I don't regret meeting you” I whisper. “I don't regret the time I had with you…”

“Me neither, Dafne. But he is what you need” he said, making my heart break a little. “I wish you everything good. Goodbye, Dafne”

I closed my eyes hearing the beeping, biting my lip.

Why can't I enjoy the present? Why is the past torturing me?

The day was warm. February started with a sunny day and birds flying around.

Today Charles was coming back home.

After some days of internal battle, I called him, trying to explain to him how I was feeling, trying to put words to my thoughts, opening my heart for him.

“I just… I'm so tired” I smiled weakly, trying to fight the tears that were threatening to fall. “You are giving me all that love, all that time and space… And the only thing I'm thinking about is if this is temporal. There's like a voice in my head making me doubt every move you made, making me remember everything you did to me”

“You know I never wanted to…” he sighed, and I could see the disappointment on his face. 

“I’m losing control, Charles” I whisper. “I don't know who I am anymore. And this changes that happened so fast…”

“It's making you take steps back” he nodded. “Please, don't push me away…”

I looked at him, taking a deep breath. His mind was working, I could tell because he was chewing his lip nervously and sighing.

“I want my life back, Charles” I whispered. “I want my confidence. I'm looking in the mirror and I can't find myself anymore. I'm tired all the time, my feet hurts and my back too”

“My love…” he smiled softly, and again, the way he called me made my heart melt. “You are pregnant. Carrying a baby. Our baby. And I know this is happening right in the best moment of your career, that none of us are ready for this”

“We are not” I sighed, shaking my head.

“But we are working on it” he smiled. “Dafne, you are a strong woman. The strongest I ever met. You never let anyone step on you, what changed now?”

“That I'm letting my guard down, Charles” I sighed. “That the woman that loved to tease everyone, to joke and play was just a mask”

“But the little girl I fell in love with wasn't like that” he said. “The little girl was honest, and passionate about what she loved. She never gave up when something didn't work how she wanted”

“Well, I can't find her anymore” I whispered. “I feel that I'm drowning. And I'm so pathetic, because I started to feel this way right when we were okay, kinda. I let you lead me through this new life and now that I'm alone I feel that I'm going to lose control of everything”

“Dafne, take a breath, hm?” he smiled weakly, taking a deep breath. He laid his back on the head board, with a pillow on his back. “Breathe with me”

“I'm trying…” I sighed, closing my eyes.

“I'm going to tell you what we are going to do next, okay?” he said softly. “Tomorrow morning I'm leaving the camp. I'll go to Monaco because I want to cut my hair and my mom will do it. After that I'm going to go by plane to the nearest airport from the village”

“What about my car?” I smiled weakly. 

“Your car looks so good near my car” he chuckled softly. “So in that way you can try my new car and come to pick me up to the airport”

“Charles…” I sighed, shaking my head. 

“Let me talk, silly” he laughed. “Anyway, what I was saying… Ah, yeah. Well, I want you to go to the village this afternoon with the envelope of the gender”

“What?” I gasped.

“You heard” he smiled, winking at me. “I want you to go to that cake shop you always talked about and give them that paper. And when tomorrow we come back, we are going to stop in the shop and pick up the cake, bring it back home and then have our own gender reveal”

“But what about our families and friends?” I frowned confused.

“We can do that another day” he smiled. “But I can't wait anymore, Dafne. I couldn't stop thinking about that damn yellow envelope in the fridge door, about wanting to know the gender of our child…I even bought baby onesies here, you know? Oh, and one of those things the babies suck”

“A dummy” I smiled.

“Yeah, that” he chuckled. “And a beanie with ears”

“Oh Charles…” I smiled softly.

“Tomorrow we are going to have a date, okay?” he smiled. “So I want you to dress pretty with blue or pink, I'll do the same. You'll come to pick me up and we are going to find out together if we are having a little Charles or a little Dafne, yeah?”

I blushed, and somehow the panic that filled my veins for the last few days started to disappear.

“Idiot” I laughed softly.

“You can have all the fears you want, love” he smiled. “I'll be with you to help you go through them. I'll be the lifesaver you need to not drown”

“I don't deserve you” I sighed.

“No, Dafne. I don't deserve you” he sighed, smiling weakly. “After everything I have done… But I'm trying my best, I'm trying my best to redeem myself”

“You are doing a good job” I nodded.

The pink floral dress still fitted me. Thank God it was elastic on the chest.

Yesterday, after I ended the call with Charles, I did what he asked me, going to the village to leave the envelope to the baker and agreeing to go pick it up the next day.

Charles was landing soon in the Florence airport, only an hour away from the village.

I had everything ready, my bag was ready on top of the table. I cleaned the table from the backyard before getting ready.

Everything was looking good. I was less stressed.

“Athena, I'm leaving!” I said to my cat, hoping she would come before I leave. “Come on, you've been hiding all morning”

When I woke up this morning, I didn't see her. Normally she's sleeping in my bed or in Charles’. But she wasn't there.

“Thena!” I frowned calling her, walking around.

This is not good, the house was suddenly too silent.

“Thena, baby, where are you?” I called her again and again. “It's not funny, I really have to go pick up Charles”

 No answer.

“Fine, sleep all you want” I sighed. “I'll come back soon”

I grabbed my bag and the keys of the car, walking out after looking back. 

But there was something that wasn't right. Something, call it instinct, was telling me that there was something wrong.

taglist

@racinggirl @elisysd @alltoomaples @ssprayberrythings @rach3164 @yvonne-dump @deliciousfestsalad @janeh22 @hc-dutch @ninifee1802 @kakorrhaphiphobia @ssararuffoni @itsjustkhaos @scaramou @tapedeck-hearts @apollosfavkiddo @sltwins @glitterquadricorn @ladystardust05 @theseerbetweenus @vizzzashley @auawdo @leah-also-known-as-creatoronwp @leptitlu @green-thots @caterinemirandax_ @mid5nights @harrysdimple05

[boujiestpoet]

Oh that's not pt 3

Summary: Lando starts dropping cryptic love messages in his instagram, getting fans excited until they discover who he is talking about, and he HARD luanches his new (not really new tho) girl.

Faceclaim: The one and only Ryan Destiny

Genre: Social Media/ Real life

THIS IS A REMINDER: THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION I DON'T KNOW NONE OF THIS PEOPLE, AND THIS WOTK DO NOT REPRESENT WHO THEY ARE

Previous chapter, Next Chapter

Amara sighs for the tenth time while waiting for her food. She's currently wondering if she made the right decision not to go to the SAG awards and instead decided to go to dinner with her boyfriend, whose eyes are glued to the screen

"You know I'm here in the flesh, there's no need to stalk my IG" she whispers, even though she doesn't need to because I'm in a private area of the luxury restaurant

"Sorry" the driver puts his phone down, his eyes moving towards his girlfriend

She is dressed in a brown dress that complements her beautiful skin, which shines like gold under the light, he is mesmerized.

"You're beautiful" he takes her hand, even though she hears those compliments every day, the actress always finds herself blushing. And every time he notices, her reaction always makes him smile.

"You have returned to planet earth" she smiles

"Sorry, I was rather distracted, it won't happen again" he kisses her hand

"I understand…the season is about to start, if I were in your place I wouldn't even be able to sleep"

"I am confident that this season will be better than last year" he announces

"I'll cheer for you wherever I am" she exclaims, Lando remembers that in a few days, Amara will have to leave Bahrain and they won't see each other for months.

"When will they start filming?" he asks

"Two weeks, but I have to be in London for the last costume fitting" finally the food arrives

"I'll miss you" he confesses, the girl knows what he means

"I will miss you too, but I will come to see you at all the GPs that will take place in Europe" she reassures him, Lando is not a person who lets anxiety get the better of him but when it happens he knows that Amara is there to do everything possible to make it sound good,

He doesn't want to make her worry but he himself doesn't want her to leave, but at the same time he loves how her eyes shine when she follows her passions. He didn't know that being in love was so simple and complicated at the same time

" It's a promise?" he pressed her hand.

"Yes darling, now let's eat before the food gets cold"

landonorris

💬❤️liked by ayoedibiri,mclaren and other 890,000

landonorris: She said she's my biggest fan, but I'M her biggest fan

view comments......

↳ Amara_thepoet: You think you can beat me?

↳ landonorris: Yeah I love you more than you love me

↳ Amara_thepoet: Well I love you more

↳ ayoedibiri: Can yall please spare us

↳ oscarpiastri: Forreal is disgusting

sam💖: I fucking knew it at mrsnorris. It's quite ain't no back talk

↳ Mclarenfan: Not you tagging her

↳ sam💖: She needed some reality check

Mclaren: Our new favourite couple

↳ Mclarenfan: What about Oscar and Lily

↳ Mclaren: 🤫

amarathefan: Well it's time to get into f1

username67: I know some people,are having a bad day 🤣

So I'm back not because I was ready, but I click post soo yeah...I'm not quite confident with this chapter. I accept advices PLEASE.

Taglist: @dutifullyannoyingfox

[apostaterevolutionary]

So another thing I want to talk about post-veilguard re: the lore. There's been plenty of long explorations of the de-fanging or just skipping entirely when it comes to the political stuff and I think the topic's been covered pretty well by others at this point, so I won't dwell on that. But I do want to talk a bit about the higher, more mystical lore with respect to gods/religions and the direction it's taken since inquisition's dlcs. Because... ngl, I didn't love it then, and I don't love it now

(Veilguard spoilers, but this also is about inquisition's dlcs too)

So. First off: I have not actually played the descent or trespasser. Because, at the time they were released, I was playing on previous gen consoles and thus I literally could not buy them even if I’d wanted to (and at the time, I did want to). I maintain that was incredibly dumb 10 years later, given trespasser was the actual ending of the game locked behind a price tag, but let's not beat skeletal horses huh lmao

Anyway. So I have only read about the events of those on the wiki/in people's posts (I don't enjoy watching let's plays unless it's someone doing something weird so). I own all the dlcs now, as I now have a computer that can run the game and I bought all of them, but every attempt to replay inquisition since my insane fervour when it first released has failed. I just can't finish the game, so I can't play the dlcs. Anyway. All of this to say: my knowledge of what happens in them may be skewed and even wrong. But I'm gonna talk about the topics anyway, so please feel free to chime in if I’ve got something wrong

So firstly: the titans. I remember really not liking this development when the dlc came out cause like. What? I read the wiki page then (and again recently, cause I remembered very little lmao) and honestly I still don't like it cause it just feels so... at odds with everything else in the lore? Idk. I still don't get how it fits in with absolutely anything. Feels out of nowhere and doesn’t really fit. But okay, they’re here now, and I’ll talk about their tie in to the rest of the lore later. But suffice to say: it just felt like a weird thing then and I maintain it does now too. Like it just doesn’t fit and feels like a weirdly forced addition. I guess that’s personal opinion but I gotta say it

But the bigger part of this is. The sort of... removal of all religions in Thedas for the sake of just. Elves were everything? At first, I really disliked the rewriting of elven gods as tyrants cause it's like... the simple, silly elves mourning everything they lost but actually what they lost was oppression and slavery even worse than today!!! That has implications I really dislike. But now it's... okay Tevinter gods? Well, people worshipping dragons makes sense, even if they weren't really gods - sike! They weren't just dragons either, they were fucked up dragons controlled by the elven gods. The elven gods which aren't even gods, but really just random people. Except those people were also fade spirits made physical. But still not gods! It's important that they are not in fact gods and just powerful mages! Oh also the maker is bullshit too and Solas was the maker, at least in the context of the golden city story (I'm actually fine with the maker and that story specifically not being real it's just. The combo of everything, you know). Also the elven not-gods destroyed the titans too! So also dwarven problems were their fault too! And destroying the titans created the fucking BLIGHT!!! You know, the worst thing to ever exist! Everything comes back to just these guys!!!

Like. It’s all Solas and the Evanuris all the way down. Everything is just them. It makes the world feel so… small. I don't like how everything's just narrowing in on one thing here? Fantasy with different races and religions are fun because it's like. I found the original stories interesting. The story of the elven gods and the forgotten ones being locked away by a trickster so that only he remains is such classic myth shit. I enjoy that. Lyrium being a weird, magic rock that just exists and also it’s poison? Yeah, that makes sense - we have radioactivity in real life lmao, why can't rocks be weird in a land of magic. The blight just. Existing as an evil thing, either as a result of the golden city story or something else - that’s also fine. And as much as the andrastian religion has done some terrible stuff (and the like. it just being christianity but jesus was a woman this time is kind of boring), the concept of worshipping an absent god is actually pretty interesting

And now it just feels like

Idk to me it feels so limited to just boil all of these interesting mythologies and beliefs down to just... well it was all the Evanuris. Everything was the Evanuris. Also they weren't even gods, they were just terrible. There are no gods in this world. If you want a religion, better bring paragon worship to the surface or go join the Qun cause apparently they're the only ones who have any kind of factual stuff going on in their religions (for now, at least lmao)

I recall seeing a post somewhere asking why no one in this game is religious at all. Well, I think this is why: most of the religions are about to not exist anymore. The dwarves are mostly okay, cause paragons are just ancestors, they were real people (though I'm sure there are some who's history has been distorted). Like the titan thing is a thing but idk how bothered most dwarves are by that, it’s not really brought up much. The Qun doesn’t have any sort of deity that we know of so like. They're okay. Except they don't have a military so. That's a problem for the nation, which could lead to the religion ceasing to exist if anyone decides to conquer them back after all the shit. Idk. I'm an atheist irl lmao so this feels kinda weird to harp on but it is very weird to me for a fantasy game to just. Destroy all the gods and beliefs like that. I suppose it's a unique choice but still... Why

(I also just remembered we still have the Avvar I guess, but they worship spirits, no? Which are also not really gods, but at least that’s also a believable religious concept. I’ve never seen a fantasy setting with no real gods before honestly. It’s a very bold choice, one I’m not sure I like)

And maybe! I'm missing something, either something that was maybe hidden in a codex or book I haven’t read or something that happened in one of the dlcs I haven't played but. Idk. The world of thedas feels just so small and cramped now that we know that everything most citizens of the world has ever believed was false and just boiled down to a small handful of old timey tyrants. Even the falseness I could deal with, but the limiting of just. Oh it was all just these guys. That’s it. All them. That's just... I don't like it. The larger context of dragon age lore is… idk it’s been getting smaller and smaller since the end of inquisition and I don’t like that

I started drafting this partway through playing and one of the things I also talked about was ‘where the hell are future games going to go now???’ but now I’ve also seen the secret ending and that… once again implies there’s something bigger behind absolutely everything? I sincerely hope that’s in a like. Subtle influence thing and not ‘oh yeah, Loghain and Bartrand were actually ~manipulated~’ way cause taking away their agency makes them infinitely less interesting characters (plus Bartrand already has the lyrium idol as part of the reason he did what he did). Like pls don’t let this turn into an idea that people can’t just do terrible things. Please, we really don’t need that. That may not be where it’s going but idk, that got my hackles up lmao

AND apparently in the reddit AMA they said they were done with the Evanuris’ story but like�� the Evanuris were just everything that’s ever been believed in? I guess they don’t have to personally show up but… idk I kinda figured there’s no way to get away from them now. Also Solas, is still kicking around, even though presumably with the veil being tied to him... assuming he did get out or was freed again, he wouldn't kill himself to tear down the veil, right? Right??? This isn't an issue that may come up one day????? I kinda feel like it's a little bit of a plot hole

But that’s kind of a side point. The larger thing here is how we see the major religions and mythologies in Thedas all just converge on the same thing, a thing which is no longer an issue so. They’re mostly just gone? I can’t imagine the chantry is going anywhere soon (though with the south so thoroughly fucked, who knows, maybe too many people died and the religion will die too cause the political power structure is completely gone – if Tevinter didn’t get a new, good leader during veilguard I’d say they’re definitely going to take advantage of the weakness of the south to make their empire big again. Also ngl I actually think that would be an interesting thing to happen but oh well lmao). Not only are there no actual gods in Thedas, almost every religion was actually this one group and that’s it. That’s just so bizarre to me and I don’t like the implications. Fantasy settings and religions and deities go hand in hand and I guess they don’t have to but. It does feel like the world is smaller now, not bigger

Idk I don’t really have a real big conclusion here it’s just. Why do this? Why tie so much of the lore back to just one group? A group you’re also apparently done with now? And with the secret ending hinting at yet another group that even more things are going to be tied back to… This feels like very simplistic storytelling, not complex storytelling to me. And I don’t like that

[villainofmyownstory]

WIP whenever

I was unexpectedly tagged by the very talented writer @pricegouge to post an updated WIP. Thank you very much! And before you check out these little thing, check out @pricegouge's stories, in particular I recommend Fatted Rabbit - a true masterpiece. <3 Let's just say that the one below is a continuation of Blurry. Unfortunately I've been very busy at work lately and haven't had time to write anything. But hopefully in about two weeks I'll get back to a normal routine and have more free time. I'll tag @ilragnotessitore , @kyletogaz and @hyperactively-me don't feel obliged, no pressure if you don't want to post anything

______________________________________________________________

It is said that falling in love comes easily. That there is such a thing as love at first sight. That soulmates can be met instantly.

Well, your first meeting with John was not what you heard about in stories of friends falling in love. Or in family stories told at your parents' next wedding anniversary.

It was completely different.

When you first met, you didn't seem nice or kind to him at all. But maybe that's what he needed. Maybe he just needed a harsh and rough tone. Maybe also a little rudeness. At that time, everyone felt sorry for him, patted him on the head or walked around him on eggshells.

And you were completely different. Years later, he always said that that spark of anger in your eyes attracted him to you from the very beginning.

Although you found it hard to believe, after all, he was your husband. Well, exactly - he was.

Another day had passed when you were in that house, every morning he asked you the same thing. Moreover, his short-term memory was problematic, but he remembered exactly what his missions were like 20 or 10 years ago.

”But what did you do yesterday Captain?"

“Oh, little dove, how could I forget a doll like you?”

Every day was the same. And you didn't cry about it anymore. Maybe it was better that way. One heart shattered into millions of pieces was enough.

Doctors said not to push, not to remind him of those worst, most difficult moments. That could have made his condition worse.

But he wasn't the same person he used to be.

He wasn't himself.

He wasn't Captain.

And even more than that, he was no longer your John.

He could look better physically, and many doctors, nurses in the hospital, tried to date him. Even the married ones. However, when it came to the story of this accident.

Well. He's stuck with three boys and you.

Despite the pain, you were unable to fully let go. Even though piece by piece you felt your heart being torn into more small, bloody fragments.

However, on the last day, when you are already sitting packed in the living room, waiting for the arrival of the person who will replace you. Someone who will take over the care. His phone rang.

And hearing his cheerful voice, you immediately knew who was calling.

His past. A person with whom he had experienced more seasons than with you. Someone he remembered. And what probably hurt you the most. His previous life came to an end long before. But it always made itself known at the least expected moments. Coming out of a dark corner, biting at ankles, pulling at shirt. Causing dark clouds to appear in your head again.

Because his previous family was still present. Even though he closed that chapter long before you were together, it still bothered you. It made you feel uncomfortable.

Now his laughter echoed in that empty big house, but it wasn't meant for you.

And you lose yourself once again in longing, in the need to be someone again. His.

“Oh, little dove, how could I forget a doll like you?”

And yet, he still didn't remember.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

aaaannd also tag @blackhawkfanatic @who-needs-to-sleep @rafaelacallinybbay bc you ask for part 2 sorry to disappoint you but I need more time, but I'll definitely come back to it someday

[tsukimefuku]

❅ Sand and Snow | Chapter 4

ALL CHAPTERS HERE | PREVIOUS CHAPTER HERE.

In the city of Odate, Akita, there have been multiple deaths in the past few weeks. The first-grade sorcerer Nanami Kento is sent out to investigate the snowy city, not knowing that it would be his last mission as a Jujutsu High student.

OR

Why Nanami left Jujutsu High to become a 9/5 corporate slave.

Tags: Murder/mystery, canon typical violence, POV Nanami, Post Star-plasma Vessel Arc, Canon compliant, Angst but I'm not Gege

Gojo and Nanami shenanigans ensue. They find out more about the Yamadas.

WC: 3.4K | on AO3 here.

The curse-user had claimed yet another victim, 28-year-old woman Takahashi Mio. Given that the killings were timely spread apart, Gojo and Nanami decided it was best if they went alone to investigate this latest death. Gojo provided Shiori with his burner phone number, just in case.

"So, Nanami, could you get me up to speed on what is going on?" Gojo asked.

"Didn't you speak to Yaga principal? I've been giving him daily reports."

"No."

How could the supposedly strongest jujutsu sorcerer of our age not get any information about the mission before he got here? Gojo's irresponsibility was particularly bothersome for Nanami most of the time.

"And did you talk to Ijichi?"

"Oh, that I certainly did! Before yesterday, actually!" 

Nanami remembered Ijichi's demeanor on the phone. "Well, did you threaten him in any way?" He asked.

"I strongly suggested he didn't report his findings to you on Jujutsu High's phone anymore." Gojo grinned.

Earlier that day, when they were at Shiori's house, Ijichi relayed to Nanami all of his findings about the Yamada family. Obtaining this information was particularly difficult, because Jujutsu High's archives that he could search did not offer a lot of information about the family, something that was unusual, so Ijichi faced a little more digging around than he was accustomed to.

Gojo helped (with a healthy dose of strong encouragement called "try to look in forbidden or somewhat classified archives" right before he left).

According to Ijichi, the Yamadas did not have the best relationship with the Jujutsu Society established by Tengen and frequented by the clans. The Yamadas didn't even consider themselves as a clan, given they wouldn't keep most of their jujutsu traditions or preserve their name during the centuries, and started to spread as non-sorcerers throughout Japan, while most of them stayed within Akita's prefecture. Those that remained were mostly the ones born jujutsu sorcerers.

It seemed that the main reason the Yamadas and Jujutsu Society did not get along was because Yamadas never surrendered their cursed objects or tools to them for safe keeping. There was one object worth noting, specifically, that the Jujutsu Society was keen on having, as it involved the ability to guard cursed objects, tools, and nearly anything with cursed energy above a certain threshold in a very convoluted way. Ijichi didn't quite find what it was, unfortunately, and questioning Shiori served little to no purpose for that matter.

Nanami was starting to suspect Shiori might've been withholding information.

And about her parents, they were apparently the most well respected members of the family up until their disappearance, serving as the informal leaders of the Yamadas. They had twins, Shiori and Shiro, both born with the ability to see curses and manipulate cursed energy.

"Could this object be like Toji's cursed spirit? The one that kept his arsenal?"

Gojo went silent for a moment. "Yes."

Even though Gojo's silence was usually something Nanami longed for during most of their interchanges, this was actually sorrowful. He felt bad for Satoru and the memories that might've evoked.

"So, we are working with the hypothesis that this is a mission for retrieving cursed objects, and not actually exorcizing anything or capturing anyone?" Nanami said.

"No!" Gojo promptly answered. "Nanamin, quiz time!"

"You don't know anything about quizzes." This roundabout way Satoru had of getting his points across was incredibly obnoxious. Nanami wasn't feeling so empathetic anymore.

"What were we sent to do in Odate?" Gojo asked, with a child-like smile on his face.

"What I was sent to do while you were unavailable was to investigate these deaths and deal with what was causing them."

"Correct! We were sent to do just that!"

Nanami sighed. "Ok."

"Next question: what is the probable cause of these deaths?"

Nanami was questioning if this was actually leading anywhere.

"A curse user, most likely."

"Correct again!" Satoru responded like he was in a trivia TV show.

Nanami put his fingers in between his eyes, fighting an emerging headache as they walked in the streets of Odate. "Can you please just say what you're thinking?"

"I'm teaching my underclassman!" 

"I do not respect you as my upperclassman."

"I need to train my teaching skills!"

Nanami dreaded the image of Gojo Satoru being a teacher, as that implied he'd be the most responsible person in the room — that room being a classroom.

Gojo proceeded, "We're here to capture a curse user and take him in for questioning, preferably. What does that tell you about what Jujutsu High wants from us?"

That they want us to take this curse user to them, who probably knows how to find the actual object of their interest, Nanami completed in his head.

"I see your point. What is your plan, then?" Nanami asked Gojo.

Some girls were walking by and started commenting on "the tall guy with white hair". Gojo lowered his glasses and winked. The girls went mad. One of them fainted. Nanami sighed heavily.

"We get to that object first and retrieve that. I'd like to know what it is and how it works. Information is important, you know?" He answered, pushing his pitch black glasses back into position.

Gojo seemed like an uninterested idiot at times, yet he was definitely not dumb, nor easily manipulated by Jujutsu High's leadership.

"Hey, Nanamin!"

"Stop calling me that."

"We should go eat after we finish this, I heard they have the best Kiritanpo here in Odate!"

Nanami sighed, yet again, for Gojo had started with his foodie shenanigans. At least the cold breeze helped with the headache.

As they approached the scene, the same hectic scenery ensued. The building was surrounded by curious people, some news reporters, and the entrance had police tape around it. 

"Gojo, we should check the perimeter first. Last time this happened, the curse user got away from me."

"Sure. I teleport myself in, and you go and do your checking."

It actually was a good plan.

"Fine." Before Nanami finished the word, Satoru had already vanished. He then started walking around the building to look for any suspicious activity, or even the motorcycle. There was not much going on other than what he had seen already, and no trace of cursed activity on the outside, so he decided he would simply wait around and see what Gojo found.

However, as he was about to just sit and wait, he saw something. Haru, that fox from the first day, was right on the other side of the street, looking at the apartment complex.

What is going on?

Nanami started walking towards the animal, but as soon as Haru saw him, it just bolted away. Given that it was not anything of importance, He decided to let it go and keep waiting for Gojo to come back.

"I'm done!" Satoru said, as he appeared back right beside Nanami. "Found some interesting things. Let's take a look."

First, he took out a small wooden box, just like the one that was in Nakamura's office. It had cursed energy traces all over it. 

"I've seen one of those before, at the last murder scene." Nanami said.

"You have? Well, how about this?" Gojo said, as he took some papers out of his pocket. He figured that if the last victim was a Yamada that had changed his surname, this was also a possibility in this case. And he was right.

The high school conclusion certificate read Yamada Mio.

"This is concerning".

"Definitely." Gojo responded. He then took his burner phone and called Ijichi. "Ijichi, we have a request. Search all the victims, see if they've changed their names and were previously Yamadas. Also, please, check similar death's throughout Japan in the past few months."

"Last three months." Nanami said.

Gojo looked at him. "Last three months" he said before hanging up. "Why that time frame?" He asked, looking straight at Nanami.

"Come. Let's have lunch. I'll fill you in."

***

"So, this lady is pretty sus, huh?" Gojo said, as he had three kiritanpo rice sticks stuffed in his mouth.

"She doesn't seem like a bad person." Nanami responded.

Gojo thought about it. "You're usually not a bad judge of character" he said, as he pulled the three sticks out of his mouth at the same time, completely scraped clean and started talking with his mouth full. "But someone can be a good person and still do bad things. People find all sorts of justifications for their shit." He wasn't wrong.

"There are some things that are not adding up." Nanami pondered. 

"What about this brother? Have they not contacted the police or anything about his disappearance?" Gojo grabbed three rice sticks simultaneously.

"Apparently, they haven't. But that could be explained by the fact that he probably would be dealing with cursed spirits involved in their parents’ disappearance. His sister seemed aware of that possibility." Nanami grabbed a single rice stick and started eating at a normal rate.

"I see." Gojo responded with his mouthful of rice. "Hey, Nanami..." his tone shifted to a more serious one. Nanami noticed it.

"What?"

"How is this mission working out for you?" He lowered his glasses so he could look directly into Nanami's eyes as he waited for a response.

Nanami contemplated if he really had an answer for that question, as he started to speak without really knowing what would come out of his mouth. "At first, it was angering to see they'd put me up for another mission that seemed above my capacities." He meditated for a moment. "But I'm fine now. I simply want to finish this mission. Why?"

Gojo smiled. "Nothing. It's nice to see you still have a good head on your shoulders." He said, giving Nanami a little tap on his back as he got up. "Well, let's detective Conan this!"

Satoru was back to using references. Nanami was not pleased.

Gojo's phone rang, and he picked it up. It was Ijichi. Satoru's demeanor went from playful to serious, as he said, "ok. Thanks for letting me know." and ended the call. "We have to go back to that house now."

"Why is that?" Nanami asked.

"All the victims were Yamadas". Gojo answered, as he put his phone away. "If my thinking is right..."

"She could actually be the next target."

***

As they got back to the house, the sky grew grayer. The sun was about to set, and they knew they had to question Shiori for real this time. Nanami knocked on the door, but before Shiori could open it after unlocking, Gojo just barged in screaming Good evening!

"Hey, guys! You're back." She said, greeting them with a smile and feeling startled as a giant dude with white hair had just let himself into her house unceremoniously.

"We are." Nanami responded. "And we have some questions for you."

Shiori looked at him somewhat confused. "Let me just feed Haru."

Gojo looked at her confused.

"It's a fox, I feed it sometimes." She clarified.

"Oh."

After Shiori went outside with a bowl of food for the animal, she walked back into the living room, where they were waiting for her. "Well, ok. What would you like to know?"

"Firstly, what you really might know about all these deaths." He answered, bluntly.

She sighed, resigned. "You said something about a venomous shikigami, haven't you? Well, I know something about that."

"What do you know?" He asked. Gojo was just standing in the corner of the room, watching the conversation.

"I know there is a shikigami technique that runs in my family, one where we can summon poisonous creatures. Most of us summoned flying snakes. Some curse users in my family might be the culprit."

"Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" Nanami asked.

"I... I don't know." Shiori said as she sat down on a chair, feeling embarrassed. "I've never really been able to trust or rely on anyone other than my brother. And I barely know you!" she said, looking at him. "And we kind of met when you were being a creepy stalker and I had a gun."

"Please, stop saying that." Nanami replied while he sighed.

"Stalker? Gun? What?" Gojo asked, seemingly puzzled.

"And you're from Jujutsu High, on top of it all. I don't know if you're both aware of that, but my family never got along very well with you guys. I never had much of a reason to trust anything you told me." She said.

Nanami stood silent. After all, she wasn't exactly wrong.

Shiori looked at Gojo. "Can you imagine if you came into my house and I said, 'hey, one of my relatives might be the murderer?' What would you do to me, then?" She sighed. "And to be fair, I still don't trust you both completely. So, yeah. What else would you like to know?" 

"Is there any special cursed object in your family?" Nanami asked.

"... Why do you want to know that?" She retorted.

The answer was clearly yes. "These killings might be related to it." Gojo answered from across the room. "The murderer is collecting cursed objects at the crime scenes and leaving these behind." Gojo showed her one of the wooden boxes. 

"Oh, I see."

"Do you know what these are?" He asked.

"Yes."

They were all silent for some time.

"Will you tell us what they are?" Gojo replied.

"No."

Gojo wanted to smack her.

"And you both are 'good guys', I can tell that much. You won't beat me up for information."

She was right. He still wanted to smack her.

"You should know that all the victims were Yamadas." Nanami said. "You could very well be the next target."

She was taken aback. "All of them?"

"All of them." Gojo said, trying to sway her stance from that bit of information.

She considered her options for a moment. "Shit." If she gave them the entire information, they would probably catch the culprit and just leave. She wouldn't be in danger's way anymore, but would probably have to surrender things her parents left her to Jujutsu High. On top of that, her brother was still missing, and after learning that Yamadas were dying left and right, he could possibly be in danger. There was another option. 

"Well, that's life. I can die in my sleep." She shrugged. "But I do have valuable information. I just need you to help me with something first." Shiori said.

"What?" Nanami asked.

"Help me find my brother." These guys, while a dynamic team themselves, were clearly good at their jobs, and she could sense that Gojo was a particularly powerful sorcerer. She knew this was the best — and, maybe, only — bet at finding her missing brother. 

We just got side-quested, Gojo thought, as he groaned and made his way into the kitchen. He hated being pulled into situations he couldn't simply solve by using his powers and beating or exploding things. "Are there any cookies left?"

"Can you both help me find my brother? Please?" She asked, worriedly waiting for an answer.

Nanami and Gojo said "yes" at the same time. Both of them sounded defeated.

"Fine. Then let's get talking. We need to find the remaining Yamadas in town. As much as I want to find my brother, I don't want anybody to die because of that." Shiori said. "There were 9 deaths, right?"

"There were 12, actually." Nanami replied.

"What?" She was very surprised. "What do you mean by twelve deaths?"

"They happened in other cities, with the same M.O." Gojo responded from the kitchen. He sounded like he was munching on something.

"And they were all Yamadas?" She said.

"Yes."

"Well, I need their names, right now." She opened a drawer and grabbed a key. "Come, follow me, you two."

They all went upstairs, following Shiori's lead. She then went inside the main bedroom, which was a little unkempt, and seemed unused for a while now. "Now, where was it...?" She started stomping on the ground, until they heard a hollow board. "Here!" Pulling it up, the woman grabbed a chest and opened it. Inside it, there was a small black notebook. 

Before she could do anything, Gojo grabbed the notebook.

"What the hell?!" She yelled, surprised. Damn, he's fast.

"We need to be absolutely certain you're not withholding important information again." He opened it. There was a huge list of names. The pages were yellowy, and the small notebook seemed pretty old. "What is this?"

"The list of people that might be targets, from what you both have told me. Flip to the last pages, the most recent ones are there."

He did, and instantly read many familiar names under those that were already struck out. Nanami approached and looked at the notebook too. The name "Yamada Itsuki" popped out. 

"Your mother's name is here." He said.

"I know. Let's cross out that, and also everyone that has died. Whoever doesn't have their names crossed will be the next targets."

"And how do you know that?" Gojo asked.

"I just do. You told me that people were dying and getting cursed objects stolen from that box, right?" They stayed silent. "So I'm sure that list is what we need. People usually just change their surnames, and keep their first names. This should be easy enough." 

Nanami and Gojo asked Ijichi to send them the list of all the deceased's names, and after striking out those, there were only 2 names left. Miyuki Yamada and Ayako Yamada. They relayed that information to Ijichi and asked him to search for residents in Odate that went by the names Miyuki and Ayako, who were or had been married.

"Well, now we wait." Gojo said, sitting down and resting his face on his hand.

"I guess." Shiori replied, while her mood shifted. "I'll be going downstairs for now."

She did, while Gojo and Nanami shared a look. Gojo's look meant, what do you think? Nanami said nothing and followed Shiori downstairs. She was sitting at the table, looking very upset and poorly hiding it. Nanami sat beside her and waited to see if she would say anything.

"I just realized something because I'm an idiot, and I'm very angry at myself right now." She said. "If I had trusted you, even if you took me away for questioning or to Jujutsu High, or something else, that woman might still be alive if I helped sooner." Shiori clenched her fists. "I'm such an egotistical idiot."

Nanami realized she was truly saddened and furious at herself because of that.

"You only knew where to look after we told you about the cursed objects being stolen. There was nothing you could have done." Nanami replied.

Shiori looked at him and sighed. "Thank you."

"I just stated a fact." He said.

She smiled, still somewhat upset. "Yeah. I guess so. I was just scared that-" She choked up a little. "That I wouldn't be here for when my brother came back, whenever that happens."

"How do you know if he is still alive?" Nanami asked bluntly.

"Well, you're kind of abrasive sometimes." She replied, smiling. "I just do. I can't explain it to you factually. It's a twin thing. I know he is alive, I'm completely sure."

He wasn't going to question it. As a jujutsu sorcerer, he sure had seen weirder things.

"I want to help when you guys go save those two women." Shiori said, out of the blue.

"You will hinder us. You have no combat training." Nanami pointed out.

"Well, you will follow us no matter what we say, won't you? Just like you did today." Gojo said, as he came down the stairs.

How did he know that? And was he hearing our conversation all this time? "Yes, I will. Exactly like I did today." She answered frankly. There was no point in lying.

"We're not carrying dead weight, and we won't jeopardize this, because people might actually die. Do you understand?" He asked, staring at her. His tone was serious. She felt like he could see through her soul, and it sent shivers down her spine.

The way this man shifts between 'pretty boy' silly demeanor and this menacing aura is eerie, she thought. "I understand. I don't want to put myself or other people in harm's way anymore, but I still want to help."

"Fine. Then, show me what you've got." He said, hiding his eyes back behind his glasses and grinning widely.

End notes:

I started to go down that path where I'm hating everything I write, so it took me forever to be done meddling with this chapter before posting it. Ugh I hate when this happens (hope you enjoyed it, still).

[hils79]

Hils Watches Lovely Runner - Ep 14

Oh so the new time machine sent her back to exactly the same point that the first one did. I wonder if this means there are set points in time that she has to travel to.

And now we've got shenanigans with identical red envelopes that they both dropped. Excellent.

It's just occurred to me that in the previous episode when Im Sol was drunk and crying I just assumed it was because Sunjae was dead, but she had already fixed things at that point so she was crying because he doesn't know her now. THEY FOOLED ME!

Aww it's like the early episodes before I found out Sunjae had been secretly in love with Im Sol the whole time

Is Sunjae an actor now instead of an idol? If so I think I see where this is going...

Oh nooooooo has she just sent Im Sol's script to Sunjae by mistake? So I saw where it was going but also not really because I did not expect this!

Not surprised Sunjae is crying. I am also crying.

Well now he's definitely going to do it out of spite

Aww even in a universe where he never met Im Sol as a teen he still sucks at dating other people

Aww they're at the same bar that they went to in the other timeline

This is actually a role reversal of the early episodes where this time he thinks she hates him when actually she's been in love with him this whole time. God, I love this drama.

Never over how people in kdramas wear sweaters and hoodies to sleep in. Is it just because the sets are cold?

Well now I'm depressed. The actor they described as being super old was only born a year before me 😭

She's still answering calls from numbers she doesn't know I see

I love that he's gone from 'she'd better hope I never see her again' to 'I'm going to tell her to her face that I don't want to do her movie' to 'PLEASE LET ME DO IT I'LL WORK FOR FREE 🥺'

Well it's nice that in this timeline he has no self-respect when it comes to her either. Boy is whipped no matter what universe he's in.

Because that is a core part of his personality

Oh no! Of course he's still around. He really is like the terminator! And now he's going to kidnap and murder the stalker girl because Im Sol wasn't at Sunjae's apartment to catch her and take her out for dinner

Aww grandma wandered off and found Sunjae's dad

Oh, I guess Sunjae is still an idol. But a soloist instead of the singer in a band?

Oh, I guess the stalker got away? Unless this is a different woman.

Aww look he's smitten already

Ooh is he starting to remember the other timelines?

How does she not recognise him? They literally watched him present an award on tv a few days ago.

I keep forgetting that grandma in her lucid moments knows exactly what's going on

Oh, good, she did escape

I feel like Taesung might actually catch this dude and do it properly. He seems a lot more efficient than his dad. Also, there's only 2 eps left so someone has to get him soon

Ohhh! Is that the winning lottery ticket? I had forgotten about Im Sol giving her brother the winning numbers

LOL I was just tagging this post and

None of my other liveblogs have shown up as a popular tag wtf

[bella-rose29]

Bright Young Soul

Word count: 2k

Warnings: Campbell Bain has a depressive episode, don't read unless you're up for some unhappy reading times basically, probably way too much italicising but oh well, I am not an expert on bipolar in any way and this is purely from what I saw in tota and research online, so please please please pick me up on anything I have done wrong, I also am not Scottish

based entirely on this post and the notes <3

Tag list: @bugbugboy, @biromanticboba, @heretoboogie

"Campbell, c'mon. Stop mucking about."

"Campbell, could ya keep the noise down?"

"Campbell, I'm busy."

"Not now, Campbell."

"Campbell, be quiet! I cannae hear myself think!"

"Quit fidgeting, Campbell!"

Campbell didn't want to stop mucking about, or keep the noise down, or quit fidgeting, and he had so many questions that needed answers and thoughts that needed sharing he was about to burst, and given he was in St. Jude's he couldn't very well start talking to himself, or they'd lock him up somewhere horrible. The nurses had been telling him those things all day, and when Eddie had turned up for his radio show Campbell had barely raised his head in greeting. He'd hoped that the older man would notice that something was off, and see what he could do to fix it, but when Eddie was only brusque with him and seemingly uncaring that Campbell wasn't wittering in his ear, it made Campbell sink further into himself.

The show went the same as it would on any other day, with the exception of Campbell's usual puppy dog energy, and when they had finished and were packing up, he felt even worse than he had before. Eddie hadn't noticed that anything was off, and Campbell was overthinking, wondering if the man actually cared about him or if it was all an act, like so many people had done before out of pity or the feeling that they were doing something good (they weren't, Campbell could usually see right through it and honestly it was kind of offensive).

"Campbell, can ye pass me that record, please," Eddie asked, arm outstretched. Campbell was so deep in his thoughts and spiralling further and further towards the edge he didn't notice, not really, registering the words but not really listening, and his eyes were focusing on nothing and everything at once, seeing the hand Eddie held out, but not seeing it.

"Campbell, for Christ's sake, what's the matter with ye? Stop acting daft and pass it over!"

The words cut deep, Campbell's brain letting them resonate and echo around his head as previous situations similar to this were remembered. "What?" he whispered, blinking the tears back. "I'm not daft!" His voice rose, practically shouting the last word which sounded so much louder than he'd meant in the tiny studio. "Nothin's the matter with me, Eddie, not to you, is there! Have ye even noticed me, Eddie? Have ye noticed me?"

"Of course I've noticed ye, Campbell, you're very difficult to miss!"

That hurt too, twisting the metaphorical knife deeper into Campbell's gut. He was tired, so fucking tired, and worn out, and exhausted, and every other synonym of the damn word, and his usual limitless energy was used up. He scoffed, all but throwing the record at Eddie and shoving his hands in his trouser pockets, hunching his shoulders.

"Ye know," he said, voice thick from holding back tears. "My dad used to say the same thing about me. I thought you were gonnae be different, Eddie, but you're just like him, aren't ye." The words kept coming after that, tumbling out of his mouth before he even had a chance to think them up, and he couldn't even remember what he was saying. More about his dad, about Eddie, about himself. He kept talking, running his hands through his hair in frustration and tapping his fingers on the desk next to him, just needing something to do, to fiddle with, to let out some of this newfound energy that stemmed from the floodgates opening. This energy hurt, though, and he didn't like it.

He could see that his tapping was annoying Eddie, but he couldn't stop, and he couldn't stop talking, ranting about pointless things, and he hated himself for it. He couldn't stop the tears now either, and they were pouring down his cheeks as he shouted. He vaguely made a note of nurses running down the corridor, and there was Stuart, and there was Eddie, standing watching Campbell and doing nothing, just like his father had done.

He could barely get the words out now, sobs wracking his body and making him choke, and he was so far off the edge that he'd fucking fallen off and was plummeting into nothingness, negative thoughts and memories surrounding him and making him fall faster. He couldn't speak any faster, and yet somehow he wasn't going fast enough, and everything was closing in on him and expanding away all at once, and he realised that he wanted them to sedate him, just so that he didn't have to deal with this anymore.

If they could keep him under forever that would be even better.

They came and grabbed him at some point, although Campbell wasn't sure when; it could have taken them two seconds or they could have been moving towards him for two hundred years. He'd lost all concept of anything other than his thoughts and the look on Eddie's face, and he was still shouting and yelling as they stuck the needle into his leg and wiped him out.

~~~

Eddie had been having a shit day, with MacAteer throwing him under the bus (again) for something he didn't even do, and Griffin making him go out and not letting Eddie come back in the building until he'd made five sales. He'd then discovered that his car had a flat tyre when he'd left for the day, and had to take it to the garage, needing a taxi to get to St. Jude's. The taxi driver had then gotten stuck in traffic, and Eddie was going to be late for his radio show. Somehow he still made it there in time to get set up and start without Campbell stepping in, but he was at the end of his rope and Campbell not listening to him had just pushed that big red button in Eddie, making him explode and shout at the boy. Campbell had flinched slightly, then fallen straight into shouting back at him, tapping and fidgeting, and Eddie could only stare as he went on, unable to speak. His protégée wasn't allowing much room for Eddie to talk, mind you, with his incessant chatter about his father (oh god, Campbell thought that Eddie was like his father), and pretty much anything else that came into his head. Rosalie had fetched the nurses, and now they were taking a hold of the boy and pushing him to lie over the desk so that they could sedate him properly. Campbell kept shouting, clearly unravelling with each second that went by, and Eddie felt awful, knowing that he had ignored the way that Campbell wasn't his normal happy self, and had been the one to cause this episode.

The next few days were absolute agony for him, since they weren't letting anybody see Campbell and Eddie had to live with himself and the lack of knowledge of when he could go and see the young man torturing him.

He was going to make sure that Campbell knew how sorry Eddie was, and that he was nothing like the man that called himself Campbell's father.

~~~

It was dark when Campbell woke up, groggy and both physically and mentally drained, and the only light in the room was the lamp on his bedside table. He accidentally stared at the bulb, blinding himself momentarily as he tried to work out who was sat next to him. The mop of dark curly hair leaned forward, and as Campbell's eyes adjusted and blinked away the last of the drowsiness he recognised the figure as Eddie.

"Whadda you want," he slurred, voice thick from being knocked out and his accent stronger than it normally was. He felt bad about the harsh tone, overwhelming guilt crashing over him like a tidal wave, but the last thing he remembered was Eddie sounding like- no. He couldn't go there again, couldn't think about that or he'd end up the way he was before. He knew he must have been sedated, since he never normally slept that much, but there were no memories in his head of why.

"I'm sorry, Campbell. I was having a shit day at work, and I know it's not an excuse but I am sorry. I was a dick to ye, and I shoulda noticed that ye weren't yerself, and I'm sorry," Eddie said, making tears well up in Campbell's eyes. He pushed them away, stopping them from falling as he heard his father's voice in his head telling him that 'real men dinnae cry, Campbell, so quit yer whining'.

"I'm sorry too, Eddie, I'm sorry." He was struggling against the guilt that wracked him, making him want to cry, and when it felt like he would burst if he didn't stop resisting he turned his head away from Eddie and sobbed into his pillow. Campbell felt Eddie move closer, the bed dip under the older man's weight as he laid a hand on Campbell's shoulder, thumb stroking gently in awkward consolation.

They stayed that way for a while, every now and then exchanging the words "I'm sorry" and "I'm sorry too" with each other, until after what felt like an eternity Campbell's sobs turned to sniffles, and he pushed himself up to sit next to Eddie on the bed.

He wiped his face with his shirtsleeves, cringing at the fabric when it came away soaked and grimacing when, as he sniffed to clear his nose, he got a mouthful of snot and phlegm. "Ugh, gross," he muttered, gladly accepting the tissue Eddie passed him and blowing his nose loudly. They sat side by side, not saying anything for a while. Eddie seemed to be debating where to go from here, what to do, or say. Campbell was kicking his feet, bare soles scuffing the floor, and fiddling with a bit of dead skin on one of his fingers.

"Careful not to pull too much, yeah? You'll end up stripping the thing bare and bleeding everywhere," Eddie joked quietly, trying to do something to raise his friend's spirits. Campbell moved his hands, placing them either side of his body so that he wouldn't be too tempted to start picking again. "I really am sorry, Campbell. I shouldnae have snapped at ye like that."

"I'm sorry too, Eddie. Not quite sure what for, mind, cannae remember most of it now. I know I went manic though, so... sorry, for... that."

"S'alright, Campbell. S'alright. C'mere." Eddie pulled him into an awkward hug, arm around Campbell's shoulders as the boy wrapped an arm around Eddie's waist, the other supporting his weight on the bed behind them. It was nice (if a little uncomfortable, but Campbell wasn't going to complain), being hugged like this, and he was sad when he needed to sit upright again to save his back from protesting against the angle anymore.

"Thanks," he mumbled, wiping away the tears that had snuck out at the knowledge that he was being held by somebody he considered a father.

"Anytime, Campbell. Ye ever need a hug, ye tell me, yeah? Likely that I'll need one too."

Campbell nodded, letting a small smile grace his face. Eddie's own smile appeared.

"There he is, he's coming back now." Campbell let out a wet laugh, nodding again and leaping up from the bed.

"Aye. Campbell Bain is back, people, back to be the 'Bain' of yer existence!" Eddie chuckled, glad to see the boy feeling better. He knew in that moment he'd do everything he could for this boy, this bright young soul, to make sure he knew that he wasn't alone in the world.

"I'll always be here for ye, Campbell. I mean it. The other day willnae happen again, yeah? Not like that. I've got ye."

"Thanks, Eddie. Thank you," Campbell said, sitting down again, expression earnest. "Really. I couldnae... I couldnae ask for a better person to look up to." Eddie smiled, clicking his tongue and tilting his head slightly as he ruffled Campbell's hair.

"Ye want a cocoa? It'll help, I'm sure."

"Please."

"Alright, ye wait here, I'll be back in a minute." Eddie left, heading in the direction of the kitchens. Campbell smiled after him, letting cautious hope enter his heart. Eddie was trying his best to make it up to Campbell, which was something his father had never done. Cocoa would help, definitely. And after cocoa, everything would start looking up.

[lexusiswriting]

A love you deserve (Ricky Olson) - Part 2 of ?

Hi guys!

From this part we can finally see Ricky in the story, hope you'll like it :)

Warnings: mentioning drugs and alcohol.

Taggs: @multifandomcrackhead, @nicelittlenightmares, @roll-tide-babe89, @skulliecadaver-blog, @melissa-anderson

(I will tagg everyone who liked the previous parts, to let them know when the next part is posted. If you don't want to be tagged, please let me know.)

Requests: OPEN.

____________________________________________________

Being in a band and having a relationship can be very hard, especially when both of you are traveling all over the world. Seeing each other can become a challenge when your schedules are not matching. Therefore, I am more than happy that after nearly two months I’m going to see my boyfriend, Ben Bruce of Asking Alexandria. We’ve been together for almost 2 years and I’m glad we managed to make it work.

We have just arrived at the Warped Tour, unpacking our bags, while I just realized Ben did not call me back. I don’t know when their bus is going to arrive, the only thing I know is that tomorrow they are going to play before us. I heard Andrew calling me from the front of the bus and I looked again hoping there will be at least a message – nothing yet. Maybe they are packing now or have something important to do. I put my phone in my pocket and made my way to Andrew.

“Yes, what’s happening?”

“I just found out there is a party tonight, before the madness that will start tomorrow.”

“I don’t know if I’m in the mood for a party.”

“Of course you are. Did your amazing boyfriend upset you or what?”

Now I was furious. The guys from the band never liked Ben, especially Xander had a problem with him. The reason being his previous reputation. Before we would even meet each other he was known for sleeping around, drinking and sometimes taking drugs – the rock n’ roll lifestyle. They were not happy when I announced we are together and still teasing me to this day. I really hope someday this will stop and see what a great guy he is.

“Fine, I’ll be there. But I won’t promise I’ll stay that much.”

“That’s my girl.”

I felt my phone vibrating, knowing I got a message – it was Ben.

~Hey babe, can’t talk on the phone right now, we just left. I’m sorry I’ll be late but I’ll see you at the party tonight. Love you!~

While I was trying to not get upset, not being his fault, I received another message. This time was one of my best friends, Chris Cerulli.

~Let’s hang out in our bus, I have someone I want you to meet.~

“I’m going to see Chris, want to join?”

“Sure, have not seen the dude in ages.”

It’s funny that for as long as we’ve been friends, everyone thought we were a thing. Sometimes we will make jokes about it, but we have never seen each other as something more than friends. We met at the Warped Tour a couple of years ago and he was the one to help us around. He took care of me when different guys tried to hit on me, just to get what they want. I see him as my big brother and the one I could trust with my entire being.

Andrew and I were close to their bus, when I saw Chris standing outside at a table. After a couple of seconds, he saw me as well and we started to run to each other. He took me in his arms and gave me a little spin.

“I can’t remember when I saw you last time. I see you are still crushing everyone’s hearts.”

“Oh, shut up. I’ve wanted to say I missed you but I just changed my mind.”

 While the three of us were chatting, I saw the door from the bus open. A guy I’ve never seen before made his way towards us.

“Lexus, remember I said I have someone I want you to meet? This is Ricky, our new bass player.”

“Hi, nice to meet you. I am a fan of your music, the last album is really great.”

“Thank you, Ricky. I hope Chris will learn some manners from you, he really needs those kinds of skills.”

He just smiled at me, maybe did not have the courage yet to make jokes with the guys. Looking at him, I see how well he fits the band.

“Well, Andrew and I have to go, we need to get ready for the party. See you guys tonight?”

“Of course, we can’t miss it.”

“It was nice meeting you Ricky, can’t wait to hear you playing.”

While we made our way to the bus, I saw Andrew having a little smirk on his face.

“What stupid thoughts do you have now?”

“I saw the way you were looking at Ricky. I just know Ben would’ve not been happy if he saw that.”

“I was not looking at him in some way. My only thoughts were that his looks match the band.”

“I’m sure that is all.” , smirking even more, if that is possible.

When we arrived at the bus I went straight to my bed. I just wanted to sleep for a bit, before I will start to get ready for the party.

___________________________________________

I just arrived at the party with the guys and my boyfriend was still nowhere to be seen. My mind made it worse, thinking he will surprise me in some way, that being the reason he did not gave me any sign. Seth and Andrew made their way to get us some drinks, while I was waiting along with Xander.

“You know I don’t like Ben in general, but now I hate him even more seeing how upset you are.”

“I’m fine, don’t worry. Maybe he is busy and I don’t want to be in his way.”

Xander was not happy at all with my answer. I rolled my eyes and got my drink from Seth’s hand and waved them goodbye. Before we got out of the bus they said with who they want to hang out. Even though I consider those persons friends as well, tonight I wanted to stay with Chris, for not seeing him in a long time.

“You just got here and I already see whisky in your hand.”

“I thought you knew me better.”

He started laughing and lead me to where the rest of the guys from MIW were. They were all chatting and suddenly stopped when they saw me. I never had a problem with them and always felt comfortable in their presence.

“Is Ben here too?”

“No. He said he will be but I don’t know more than that.”

He remarked the pain in my voice when I answered so he decided to just nod and close the subject.

“I will go to get a drink too. Stay here, I will be back as fast as I can.”

The rest of the guys were having a separate conversation and I was trying to follow along. Ricky saw me being left a little behind and came to my rescue.

“Don’t worry, I don’t understand what they are talking about either.”

I started laughing a little and he changed the spot to be closer to me, so we can hear each other better with all the loud music that was around.

“Have you been friends with them for a long time, Lexus?”

“Yeah, for a couple of years now. Chris helped me to understand how this tour works.”

“He is a nice guy, so I understand that. I actually met him a couple of months ago and that’s why I am here today.”

“Well, I’m sure he made the right decision about you. Actually, I saw earlier that your set is right after us.”

“Indeed, I hope you will not be there to see how much of a mess I am.”

“I’m sure you are not that bad. You have to hear me playing bass and you’ll change your mind about yourself.”

He smiled at me and took a sip of his drink while maybe thinking of another subject to discuss.

“Maybe it’s not okay to say that, especially when I just met you but I heard Chris said something about you today.”

“About me?”

“Yeah, he is worried about you. More exactly about your relationship.”

“Of course he is. You can ask everyone in here what they think about Ben and you’ll get why he is worried.”

He tried to say something more when his eyes set on something else. When I was about to ask what happened, I heard a familiar voice.

[quickstappen]

track 004: love, where are you?

A/N: i am so sorry, i know it's late, but college sucks (im juggling learning 3 languages at once - filology students am i right??) and my job also sucks (i don't recommend editing photos honestly) - but here we are, again, twitter heavy, i swear the plot is coming :)) also - ignore the dates, 'm too lazy to change them

A/N 2: previous parts of this series have been edited! most notable - Marci's a Ferrari employee, not Redbull like before

masterlist | previous next

liked by marcilazzaro1, sarah_scott and others

clairobernie_x a natural progression of the night (italians sure knows how to party)

see all comments...

sarah_scott when is my invite coming? i wanna party with you too

↳ clairobernie_x gotta get the connections first babe

↳ sarah_scott well, can't really get with pierre, my boyfriend would definitely mind

↳ clairobernie_x yeah, fair lol

↳ marcilazzaro1 you're invited next year, how about that?

↳ sarah_scott lovely stuff 🥰

shithappens is that... marci? flashing someone? i'm in love

ilpredestinatox jesus i love this duo

quickstappen the annual media team party!!

marcilazzaro1 remind me to never drink with you again

↳ clairobernie_x you loved it

zoebryne_x how are y'all so hot

view more...

marcilazzaro1 posted a story!

2 MONTHS LATER

liked by mickschumacher, charles_leclerc and others

brunolazzaro_03 welcome to crisis-ville, sarah_scott this is entirely your fault

tagged: marcilazzaro1, federrere

(this is a private account, you cannot reply to this post)

see all comments...

charles_leclerc oh god, straight from the bottle? what did you do to this woman

↳ brunolazzaro03 trust me, this isn't even her lowest moment from this month

↳ marcilazzaro1 dude?? stop exposing me

↳ brunolazzaro03 or what.

↳ marcilazzaro1 i have tonio's phone number

↳ brunolazzaro03 YOU WOULDN'T DARE

↳ charles_leclerc do i even wanna know who tonio is?

↳ marcilazzaro1 his boyfriend ;)

↳ brunolazzaro03 HE'S NOT

sarah_scott i deny all my involvement in this crisis

↳ marcilazzaro1 of course you do

↳ sarah_scott hey! i only gave you an idea, not tell you to spiral

mickschumacher is she like... okay?

↳ brunolazzaro03 first off, has she ever been?

↳ mickschumacher true

↳ marcilazzaro1 catching strays left and right in my own home, unbelievable

lance_stroll remember to hydrate or whatever

↳ marcilazzaro1 i am

↳ lance_stroll with WATER

↳ marcilazzaro1 didn't jesus turn water into wine?

↳ lance_stroll you are hopeless

federrere hey what the fuck, that's my shirt??

↳ marcilazzaro1 well, i have news for you then

view more...

Marci's messages:

S: Mick showed me Bruno's post

S: Are you okay?

M: Yeah, I'm good, just...

M: A lot of things on my mind I guess.

S: Yeah, I get that. If you ever need to run away my doors are always open.

M: I might take you up on that right before the preseason testing. Need to survive the trip with Lewis first tho, I have no idea what he has planned.

S: Good luck with that.

S: See you soon Marci.

4 MONTHS LATER

8 MONTHS LATER

nicolashamilton just posted a story!

madi's radio: just to note again, this series has been edited, i heavily suggest checking out the previous parts again, although you can probably work it out on its own too. thanks to @anthonykatebridgerton putting this idea in my head ;)

taglist: @sunny44 @rockyhayzkid @biancathecool @unluckyyoshi @woozarts @janeholt3 @celestialend @formulaal @d3kstar @yoremins @rd1410-blog @mess-is-my-aesthetic @callsignwidow @blaaahblubb @evans-dejong @lwstuff @emilyval1 @r0seandth0rns @fletchingarcher @blaaahblubb @notyaslol @dear-fifi @zimm04 @thewritingofspencerrose @elliegrey2803 @anthonykatebridgerton @firetruckstuckley @casperlikej @anephemeralwoe @vroomvroommuppett @taytaylala12 @kuskumu @clemswrld @bella-1 @leclercdream @evie-119 (xxx - couldn't tag you)

click here to be added to the carved my name taglist!

DISCLAIMER: i do not know anything about this people, this is not real life, this is just something for fun, i do not know anythings about their life or personalities!

[corancoranthemagicalman]

I've seen many posts about people missing how common asks used to be so I have been trying to send about an ask a week. Now I send this ask first anytime I follow someone as I really don't want to bother anyone, so I'd love to know if you enjoy receiving asks and if so what kind of asks. Not having energy for asks or being comfortable with them is perfectly okay.

The categories I have in my ask notebook that I file under are in colour. Please feel free to make your response as long as you want or private (the asker cannot directly respond to private responses).

Self, Job/Work: please let me know what you are comfortable with from eh idk just ask it to nothing personal at all.

Baggishield/Tolkien, Dragon Age, Johnlock/Sherlock, ineffable spouses, other fandom: Please let me know what fandoms. I think my main fandoms and ships are Bagginshield/The Hobbit, Sherlock/Johnlock, Dragon Age Inquisition, {Pippin/Faramir Merry/Eowyn}/The Lord of the Rings and I dip my toes in a few that I currently can't remember but ships I don't engage with the canon of at all are: Good Omens but only for Crowley/Azirapheal, Stranger Things but only for Steve/Eddie , The Witcher but only for Geralt/Jaskier.

OC's, art/drawing, their writing, blog specific only

Story snippets ideas and prompts: Do you like receiving them?

Pets: I'd love to know all about them

Garden and Hobbies: What type of gardening and/or hobbies?

Like being tagged in things: If so what kinds of things?

*Asks are sent for fun, no pressure to answer.

Oh, hi!! Well, firstly, thanks for the follow!!! Secondly, I love asks! I (unfortunately) don't always get to certain things (because life and,,,life lmao!) but I do love getting them, and I really want to make the effort to get back to engaging so! Here's the info for your notebook!

Self, Job/Work: Just ask! I usually prefer to keep vague on some things, mostly because I like to keep "professional" socials separate from my fandom ones lol and would prefer there not being a direct connection. But for the most part, I'm flexible on talking about myself :)

Bagginshield/Tolkien YES YES YES UGHHHH I adore all of that. I peeped your profile and saw some Gimli and Legolas I think which is also mi amor <3 Elsewise, I'm all over the place, but do post Supernatural, Good Omens, and Baldur's Gate (i've bought all the Dragon Ages and that's next on my list) with hyperfixations sorting as often as they can. (You can check out my AO3 to see some of my favorites [CBlue], or most often I try tagging fandoms if you need to block anything or want to hunt for something specific. (I'm also stumbling back into some Geraskier too on ocassion!)

I don't have OCs that I post here (they tend to be more on my professional one lol), and my art tag changed because tumblr ate the previous one I'd been using (sometimes its #my art and sometimes its #C Draws or #C Arts), so that's a bit everywhere and not often. I more often post my fandom writings [CBlue on AO3, which if I may pimp out a writing of mine, I wrote Compression, a Bagginshield fic (though, apologies as due to recent AI scalping all of my works are now locked to registered-users exclusively]. This is my everything blog, so everything goes here lol.

Oh my god please send me snippet ideas and prompts. That's one of my favorite ways of engage---spinning with people! That's why I LOVE participating in fandom! I get some of that outlet on a few of the (more intimate) fandom Discords that I'm in, but I'm always open to some of those from asks and such too!!

Pets: I have 6 cats, all of whom are rescues. To the point that the last three were actually rescued out of my wood pile from a storm that was going to hit last year. I don't post pictures of them (mostly to keep that fandom life separation like I mentioned), but I talk about them! People who know me probably also might remember my old man, Tucker, who was the loveliest of puppers. I had to say goodbye to him earlier this year (back in April, and it's just been...a time since then. I miss him often, but every memory is nothing but fondness.) They're all so lovely, and I love talking pets! (If, you know, six cats wasn't an indication ;))

I don't have a garden at the moment, but I do love talking about it!! Hobbies tend to be my fandom hobbies, but I'm also trying to get back into reading more often and I have a few crafts planned. And I love doing a gamer when I can in my free time.

I loved being tagged in things!! I don't always get to them because I am the toxic person (/j) who sees a notification and goes "I will respond when I'm able to," but when the notification is gone I forget all about it. Actually, you've just reminded me that I was tagged in a tag game that I wanted to do, so I'm going to go do that now lol!!

But yeah! I think that's everything and hope it's in any way that makes sense lol. I definitely appreciate you asking!!!

[ladydorian05]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you for tagging me @your-catfish-friend @made-ofmemories and I think @saybiwithme also tagged me, I'm not sure, I think I saw a notification... any ways, thank you for the tag!! :3

How many works do you have on ao3?

15

What's your total ao3 word count?

123,030

What fandoms do you write for?

Currently 9-1-1 and Stranger Things, more 9-1-1 than anything as of right now.

Top five fics by kudos:

Too busy being yours to fall for someone new (9-1-1)

Eddie's UNO Reverse (9-1-1)

When life tears you asunder, but you're not alone (Stranger Things)

Jonathan's girl (Stranger Things)

Kissing his Neck (The Mandalorian)

Do you respond to comments?

I do try to respond/answer every single one, but I do struggle on what else to say beside thank you for reading.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

To this day, this one: Eparavur takisit - Apologise (The mandalorian) I do have another angsty one, but I haven't post it... yet.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

So far, all but the one on the previous question have happy endings. If I have to pick... I'm really fond of this one A Christmas With You (We can be heroes (movie)) it's linked to a back then new friend so yeah.

Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully, nope.

Do you write smut?

Well... I try.

Craziest crossover:

The only crossover I've ever written is an unfinished fic that's a crossover of The witcher and Skyrim... one day I shall finish it. The idea behind it is to make it a chose your own adventure kind of fic. You'll get a different ending depending on your choices, won't be anything crazy, just about two, maybe three endings and nothing so complicated since I'm not that great of a writer to pull off something more elaborated.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of and if you ever find my stuff outside of Tumblr or AO3, report it, that's definitely not me.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so, no one has asked for permission. Maybe one day I'll translate some of my fics to spanish since it's my first language.

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Haha, yes! I've written more than one fic and have quite a few wips with the lovely @made-ofmemories I've had so much fun writing with her. I've loved so many of the stuff she's come up with. (We always end up with new wips whenever someone has and idea.)

All time favourite ship?

That'll be difficult, I have A LOT of ships and I just cycle through them. But right now, Buddie.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I may have more than one, they're old reader inserts that I'm not sure I'll finish since the flame for those characters is pretty low.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptive text, I can see the stuff happening in my head as if it's a movie but I struggle so much to turn what's happening there into words. Even more so make it sound beautiful.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

For my fics, if I know the languageand the character(s) have also used the language, hell yes, you'll see some phrases. And on that note the only other language I know is my first language which is Spanish, so yeah. Not comfortable using a translator or dictionary for any other language.

First fandom you wrote in?

Like ever? I don't know, I started writing in middle school. oh! i just remembered! It was for an anime, Mermaid Melody Pichi Pichi Pitch... and it was, it was really bad.

Favourite fic you've written?

I haven't posted it yet guys so ._.

No pressure tags!

@wikiangela @wildlife4life @thewolvesof1998 @hippolotamus @bidisasterevankinard @eddiebabygirldiaz @loserdiaz @crowleywasagryffindor @theotherbuckley @jesuisici33 @missmagooglie @daffi-990 @pirrusstuff @giddyupbuck @neverevan @exhuastedpigeon Anyone who wants to do it!

[notasapleasure]

WIP ask meme

@stripedroseandsketchpads tagged me in this. And oh my god. If you think there are Too Many Words in the fic I publish, you should see my poor notes app. Here is a sneak peek of its contents. I haven't edited for brevity/those I'm actively working on, these are just all the unfinished files I could find. Some I don't intend to do any more with, others I'd really like to pick up again. The only ones being actively worked on right now are the Andor Saga AU and the first one on the list for Andor.

I put ALL the Lymond I could find in mainly for @oughtaagh who has been leaving the most lovely comments on my Lymond fics that I have totally failed to respond to. I'm sorry! I will cycle back round to Lymond one day, it's inevitable <3

Tagging uh.... @distressednoise, @r0b0tb0y, @faceofpoe, @donnaimmaculata, @batri-jopa, @elwenyere, @notabuddhist and anyone else who wants to say I tagged them! Also sorry if you'd already been tagged, I'm not keeping up with the dash very well at the moment!

Anyway please send me asks/comments/cease and desist orders about these. xxx

ANDOR

C: We decided we were thirsty, and you wanted to go to Cavo's. As yet untitled Brassian alternative scene - what if instead of a great collaborative cover story this was a great collaborative fuck? Almost(?) finished?

Saga AU pt 2. This actually does have a working title of 'The Bear and the Berserk' but this doc is just a short bullet point list of plot things for a specific part of the fic.

Cassian pov. It's a Cassian pov chapter! For...drumroll...the first chapter of the Saga AU pt 2! The rest is going to be back to Brasso FPN. The file actually includes a rough first draft of chapter 2, as well.

"You're up early this morning," Bix says lightly. A follow-up chapter to Only Ever Just One Night started back when I had epic plans for continuing this, bringing in Cinta and Vel and Luthen, whumping the hell out of Brasso, and having Cassian rescue him. This is just one scene of awkward conversation with tea though.

Oh god it developed Plot. Related to the previous chapter - a bullet-pointed list of things that might have happened in this fic I Wil Not Write (not least as I'd rather just see what happens in S2 first anyway).

AND THEN WE DANCED

It was a sunny day in Batumi... Patchy few paragraphs of the next chapter of Inchoate.

Plannnnns (again). Plans for how Inchoate would/will continue.

THE LYMOND CHRONICLES

Canon-verse/other AUs

Multiple pieces of follow-up to The next man with a ladder, Danny/Jerott post-canon: It was dark when they rode into the port town... [Chapter 3, basically done, plus most of Chapter 4 but it devolves into broken paragraphs at the end]. "I'm going to the other bed," Danny said in a voice like someone was standing on his throat... [??? there's loads of this written! This is the file where they Get Down To It] Stitch the scenes together [a few paragraphs in which I hoped to make a logical leap from Chapter 4 to fucking, but seemingly never quite got there].

Lymondar saga draft. Actually two files of the abortive first effort at writing a saga AU. I was trying much harder to write in saga style and playing with lacunae in a way that was fun for me but exceedingly nerdy. I think I found the idea more fun than the execution, too.

St Seb. Remember ages ago when I was writing a post-canon 'Jerott gets shot full of arrows and has to admit his feelings because he thinks he's gonna die' fic? This is the file! Some bullet points and some text, some of which I even posted as Sunday sixes way back when iirc.

Fait prosperer qui n'est à croire vain. Fuck me, there's LOADS of this. Pawn in Frankincense/Ringed Castle AU where Marthe steals Lymond's ride with Kiaya Khatun and persuades her they should take over Russia together. Meanwhile Francis is left with Jerott. Hahaha. It kept getting longer because Francis kept trying to escape and I kept finding ways to drag him back, but the 'and now kiss!!' with the two of them behaving in character was just not coming easily.

Francis Crawford's Holistic Inquisition Agency. I wrote this??? One chapter of a Lymond/Dirk Gently AU, where Francis is obviously Dirk and Jerott is a furious/bemused Todd.

She tried every instrument, she redrew every chart. A few short chapters, never finished, of Marthe wrestling with her role in canon and her fate as assigned by La Dame. A couple more paragraphs of a similar sort of thing in Volos.

Malta. Half-arsed few paragraphs of wondering how Jerott would cope with meeting a fellow Knight being imprisoned for sodomy.

Band AU (my 1980s rock band AU for the series, see also @theartistknownaslymond)

Au of an Au. What if, after the Battle of the Bands at Solway, Jerott went to stay at the Edinburgh townhouse for a while and he and Francis got to collaborating in the shed? There's quite a lot of this and it's quite fluffy.

Out out out! The band celebrate Thatcher's downfall. Happy epilogues for everyone! However it's an epic task trying to do all the characters justice, so I was trying to write it as vignettes to match each song on the playlist. Six-ish are written. And earlier draft with plan for characters intercting is in Ding dong the witch is dead.

Jerott/Marthe - four times it just about worked, one time it really didn't. What it says on the tin? aka you just know Jerott has said 'Francis' instead of Marthe at least once when he comes. Only the beginning of the first time exists in this chapter, but I think I explored the idea elsewhere, whenever I dig up that file...

DWTH missing scene. Jerott/OC missing scene from Don't wake the house. Not finished, probably not going to be finished. I think I have enough Jerott smut on the go.

Workshop. Patchy draft of pre-canon Jerott and GRM 'therapy' session in which GRM learns about Francis Crawford and what a hold he has on the boy he thought of as his own plaything. GRM doesn't like sharing.

F/P. Draft of a fluffy kiss prompt someone (@erinaceina? @notfromcold?) sent for Francis/Philippa. Post-canon pregnant Philippa and worried Francis written when it was too hot in summer. It's probably complete enough to post tbh! hmu if you want it posting.

Jerott behaving badly (again). Somehow this ended up in the 'comfortember' section of the notepad, which...no? Maybe it was intended to be originally, but it grew a life of its own. Post-canon, post split-up with the OC, pre-getting together with Danny. Joining the mile high club and regretting it, then ending up crashing at Joleta's (who he meets coincidentally at the airport, NOT who he's screwing in the airplane loo!!). It's meant to end up cathartic, but didn't get finished :') I'm actually really pleased with what I have - post-canon Joleta is so much fun to write!

Somewhere (Google Drive?? an actual Word doc??) there is also loads and loads and LOADS of Pawn in Frankincense band AU around Baron Morgan's place (the Aga Morat), featuring fucked-up Francis/Morgan, fucked up Marthe/Kiaya, fucked up Francis/Kiaya, and bewildered cold turkey Jerott. There's also some Jerott/Marthe from later on.

Other

Crossover. A sequel to my ATWD fic I will shake mountains, where Merab and Irakli encounter celebrity diners in the restaurant they work in: respected musician Francis Crawford and friends take the boys for a drink and share queer/artistic inspiration/history with them. There's quite a lot written but I couldn't quite manage to finish it off.

St Mary's. Another ATWD/Lymond crossover, placing Merab and Irakli among the mercenaries of St Mary's. Mostly bullet points.

3m. Furious that there was no fic for the film Three Months I decided to jot down a scene I wanted to see afterwards. I wrote four lines and cannot remember what my plan was at all.

[beepbeepdespair]

remember alice the cactus? well i'm pleased to say that her new succulent friend on the windowsill gwen has now arrived home <3 i painted (well drew. acrylic markers) and adopted her at an lgbtq+ craft fair today, it was brilliant. please don't ask what's going on with the green thing, it was an attempt at some kind of eye/web mashup bc i find those two really fascinating but it turned SO wonky because it's hard to paint at that angle 💀

oh well it's nice to have her home. i very nearly sent an ask to anusia about it but chickened out bc anxiety 💀💀💀 tagging @field-cryptobotanist because you were involved in the previous post lmao

below are some more photos from the fair that i tried to put under a cut but tumblr wouldn't let me do that without breaking the formatting because it is a hellsite :)

i should say, i made/decorated everything in these photos except the mocktail. that was not me lmao