#i don't now if the book community is alive on here but i really don't want to touch booktok and im not really on twitter anymore

[ceaselessims]

reading oathbound and just thinking about how bree matthews would be in the meljayvik trenches if she was in the arcane fandom

[tavolgisvist]

The Lovers That Never Were

(for @i-am-the-oyster because)

As for you, you sit there playing this game You keep me waiting

(The Lovers That Never Were, 1987)

Don't keep me waiting here Lead me to your door

(The Long and Winding Road, 1969)

Linda: The sad thing is that John and Paul both had problems and they loved each other and, boy, could they have helped each other! If they had only communicated! It frustrates me no end, because I was just some chick from New York when I walked into all of that. God, if I’d known what I know now… All I could do was sit there watching them play these games…

(Paul and Linda McCartney, Dec.1984, interview with Joan Goodman for Playboy, 1984)

All of the clocks have run down Time's at an end

(The Lovers That Never Were, 1987)

But in a final tender moment, the Observer said, Lennon wrote under a photo of himself with McCartney: “The minutes are crumbling away.”

(Associated Press: Lennon’s resentment of McCartney reflected in book notes, July 20th, 1986)

So you, you must tell me something,…I love you, Say goodbye or anything

(The Lovers That Never Were, 1987)

And I won't go away until you tell me so No, I'll never go away Yes, I know what I feel to be right

(No More Lonely Nights, 1984)

When all of the clocks have run down All over the world We'll be the lovers that never were

(The Lovers That Never Were, 1987)

In another world we could Stand on top of the mountain With our flag unfurled In time to come In time to come we will be Dancing to the beat played On a different drum

(Tug of War, 1980/82)

We had the whole musical universe to choose from – a rock and roll song, a love song, what would it be? – so I said, “Well, let’s start with Smokey Robinson and the Miracles. Let’s think of them”, so we started off and ‘The Lovers That Never Were’ came out. It was our first song together.

We did a nice but very, very rough demo of it, just Elvis and me, but when we tried to record it properly it didn’t really work out. So I ignored it for Flowers In The Dirt and decided to try it again for this album. And we thought of bringing in a 4/4 bass drum over a 3/4 song ~ this is for the musicians among you – which just makes it swing. It’s an old rhythm trick but it made it come alive, and we then had a version that we liked.

(Paul McCartney, 1993, Club Sandwich)

It was a waltz and not working, until Paul said, How about putting a 4/4 on top of this thing. And that was so complicated, waltz and 4/4 at the same time, but I tried and Paul’s looking at me saying, You all right? I’m struggling (claps in fours, stamps in threes), but I say, Just give me five minutes. A real head twister, but it was such a groove. Made the song happen.

(Blair Cunningham, from the “New World Tour”)

Baby’s In Black we did because we like waltz time – we used to do If You Gotta Make A Fool Of Somebody, a cool 3/4 blues thing. And other bands would notice that and say, ‘Shit man, you’re doing something in 3/4.’ So we’d got known for that. And I think also John and I wanted to do something bluesy, a bit darker, more grown-up, rather than just straight pop. It was more ‘baby’s in black’ as in mourning. Our favourite colour was black, as well

(Paul McCartney, Anthology)

“Baby’s in Black” was recorded by the Beatles on 11 August 1964, and was the first song recorded for Beatles for Sale. Lennon and McCartney sang their vocal parts simultaneously through the same microphone. This was done at their own insistence in order to achieve a closer feel to the performance. (x)

It was very much co-written and we both sang it. Sometimes the harmony that I was writing in sympathy to John’s melody would take over and become a stronger melody. Suddenly a piebald rabbit came out of the hat! When people wrote out the music score they would ask, ‘Which one is the melody?’ because it was so co-written that you could actually take either. We rather liked this one. It was not so much a work job, there was a bit more cred about this one. It’s got a good middle.

(Paul McCartney in Many Years From Now by Barry Miles, 1997)

They performed Baby’s in Black live during their appearances from late 1964 until their last tour in 1966. In 1996, a live version of Baby’s in Black was released as a B-side to Real Love, the second single from their Anthology project.

[doberbutts]

You mentioned in response to another ask that you don't use "transandrophobia" because the trans theory you were taught by trans women told you that "transmisogyny" covered those things and that is a total revelation to me. I've been thinking for a long time that it seemed to me that the idea of transmisogyny *does* cover transandrophobia, it just impacts trans femmes and trans mascs differently a lot of the time. But I had no idea that there has been theory/discussion that says this. I'm more used to the idea of "TMA" with the implication that only trans women are affected by transmisogyny. Is that more of a new thing and transmisogyny used to be considered as a more broad term? And would you trace that change to the same issue you're talking about with a lot of current feminism forgetting how feminism is also a "men's issue"?

Idk if I would call it "new" per say. The word trans-misogyny was coined in 2007 and did not include trans men, but the book in which it was coined did mention that language was likely needed to describe the trans man experience as well. There have been a number of different attempts, but none have really stuck.

I went to college starting in 2010, so roughly 3 years after Serrano coined the word. While in college, my school's GSA wanted LGBT elders to come and talk to all the scared freshly-minted adults who were trying to figure out this being gay thing. The woman who ran my GSA found a Trans woman who was willing to be my mentor and sponsor, she wrote my letters for me back when that was still necessary for medical transition, and we met frequently for her to teach me more or less how to be trans safely. Some things she did not know- how to bind safely, how to attach a semi-permenant packer, etc. But others she knew very well, because she herself dealt with both being seen as a man by society as well as the effects of testosterone on her body for decades before she transitioned.

Anyway. This woman was great, and is a significant portion of the reason I'm still alive to this day. And she is who taught me the word transmisogyny, and that it should really cover all trans people because all trans people experience an intersection of transphobia and misogyny. Whether that was popular theory at the time or not, that is what us young kids learned directly from the mouths of trans women at my college, which to me means that others were also learning this particular version of transfeminist theory.

Unfortunately by the time I dropped out of college in 2013/2014, online trans spaces were having stupid arguments such as "transtrenders are bad" and "neopronouns are bad" and "nonbinary people are cis people who want to feel special" and "trans men should be hunted for sport" and "trans women are incel nazis" and. Well. I went "wow this place is a cesspit and I feel like no one here has actually talked to another transgender person face to face" and then did not engage with the online community. So I don't really know how common or popular the understanding I was taught was at the time, though it certainly seems quite rare now.

(As a caveat I don't really think trans people of any gender have anything that isn't similar with each other when it comes to oppression, outside of certain bodily things that can't be helped because that's literally the thing we're transgender about, and I think we all experience very similar oppression but sometimes with a different hat)

As for what caused this particular defining to fall into obscurity? I really can't say. I don't know how popular the transfeminist theory the trans women who spoke at my GSA meetings taught us actually was in the broader world. Every once in a while I meet someone who lived through that same time who remembers that theory, which tells me it had gained at least some traction if it was being discussed in multiple parts of the country, but... that's really it. And it's pretty unpopular theory nowadays, I get people calling me a scumbag and claiming that I say transmisogyny doesn't exist just for mentioning that the theory I was taught includes trans men in the discussion.

But I don't think it's specifically the whole TMA/TME thing. I think it's a lack of understanding of what oppression and what intersectionality are, how they operate, how they work, how we define things through them. There are many people who believe that men do not experience misogyny. But, they do, that's why it's an insult to a boy to call him a girl during a moment of femininity or vulnerability, as a means of calling him weak because girls are believed to be weak. There are many people who think intersectionality turns oppression into additives, as though stacking marginalizations like dnd buffs. This also falls apart because oppression is not like quick math where you add a +5 to every roll if any part of your identity is privileged and a -7 if any part is oppressed.

I've had people get mad at me for saying that straight people experience homophobia while we also have sitting politicians that make jokes on live TV about how they'd drown their (presumably straight) children if they found out their kids were gay. For saying that GNC cis people experience transphobia when butches are getting kicked out of bathrooms and drag queens are getting jumped in bars. For reminding people that when Sikhs are killed due to being mistaken for Muslim in this country that hates Muslims over a national tragedy our Muslim population did not cause, it's still considered and called Islamophobia, because just because Americans are too stupid to tell a Sikh from a Muslim doesn't mean they weren't spurred into that hate crime by their rampant hatred of Muslims and the sight of a turban and long beard.

[starshinesluvr]

:¨ ·.· ¨:⠀ `· . ୨୧ various edward nashton hcs & thoughts !!

contains: a mention or two about his killings in the movie, religious trauma, & drug usage. word count: 1.4k

writers note: hi friends! guhfhkj i am being brave and posting some writing on main.... ( ;´ - `;) here are a few headcanons and general thoughts that've been Marinating in my mind for a while. i felt like this was getting quite long, so maybe i'll have another post with some more soon.. because i have many thoughts..enjoooy! ^_^

♡ obviously he is obsessive. and loves repetitive actions and routines. his main special interest would be the renewal fund and the wayne family. (obviously) he has a big sense of moral justice. ⋆⭒ one of his main repetitive actions would be counting. he does this a lot with his fingers, the books on his shelf, or even the letters on a neon sign outside. just quickly under his breath. ⋆⭒ he also would sway. he usually does this in his apartment, when hes scrolling nigma or something. it really calms him. i think he would be too self-conscious to do it in public though. the King of masking. but occasionally he cant help himself when he's really focused at a café or something.

♡ but some of his other interests include: retro games, ancient civilizations, and general puzzle games. and god this man is a consistent minesweeper frequenter. heavy on frequent. loves 2048, sudoku, does the daily crossword on newspapers.

♡ half of the apps on his phone has to be games. 'games on his phone?' yes.

♡ i think he also has a undying love for pokemon. unsure what his favorite type would be, i think he would cycle through different types every single time the interest pops back up in his head again.

♡ AND GUYS GENUINELY HERE ME OUT. i think he helped code the club penguin rewritten website . im So. so serious on this one.

♡ OH OH. OHHH!! one of his longest lasting special interests? languages. how this starts? i imagine young edward back at the orphanage, already finished reading every single book he could find... every single english book, that is. maybe he'd sneak into the library. he's sure those books have riddles that can only be solved if you understand its language first. ⋆⭒ he finds interest in the progression of languages especially. how they change over time, and the origin of words and their sounds. ⋆⭒ though i don't think he would be a polyglot. but he'd know a lot of random words here and there, and some slang words no one would expect him to know from many languages!

♡ but a language he especially would like is ASL. he'd have a heightened interest of any form of communication that doesn't involve words. like, the font wingdings y'know? any kind of 'code.' ⋆⭒ he'd especially love learning ASL on his own during his younger years, since he struggled with speaking more often back then. he doesn't talk to anyone much now a days anyways, unless its small talk. (okk i see you selective mutism representation! >_< )

♡ he is sadistic. not a headcanon, just fact. this can be seen in his killings in the movie. though he primarily killed to give a point to the city of gotham, and to become a symbol much bigger than himself, he never gives these people quick and simple deaths. he enjoys these killings. cutting off the mayor’s thumb while he was still alive, sticking rat poison in officer savage, and sticking his head in a rat cage, waiting for them to eat him alive shown for everyone to watch. these were thought out, and he enjoyed watching. he enjoyed putting on a show, and their deaths were his entertainment.

♡ though outside of being the riddler, edward has a lot of self hatred. this fronts as anger, standoffish and anti-social behaviors. he doesn't mean to be mean, its just deep rooted. a combined hatred of everyone who'd hurt him prior.

♡ even though he hates himself, he also thinks of himself as better than anyone else. he feels as if he is worthy, and he has the intellect to show it. he consistently searches for small, daily positions that keep him in power.

♡ has a love/hate relationship with his own intellect. he wishes he wasn't cursed with his knowledge, sometimes he just wishes he could be blind and stupid to the darkness of the city. but he prides himself in being smart, especially in being good with numbers. its something he knows he can actually do correctly. he loves the certainty of numbers, how they never change or lie.

♡ i think would mostly hate how smart he was when he was younger. he hated how it distanced himself from genuinely everyone, and at one point he wasn't sure if he just enjoyed being reclusive or if he simply just got used to it. ⋆⭒ he would hate how the other kids or his classmates would only talk to him when they needed answers for their work and how they would expect him to know everything. (he sadly did.)

♡ he loves consistency. but hates complacency. he knows things can change, things could be better. but he finds comfort in his routines, even if it makes his world grey.

♡ due to religion being constantly drilled into his brain throughout his childhood, he experiences severe trauma. when he does something that is not pleasing to the beliefs he was taught, he self deprecates. lots of talking down on himself. he still can remember a few memory verses and prayers, and sometimes obsessively recites them to himself. ⋆⭒ he knows some of his fears are honestly a little irrational, that maybe one day he'll just be struck down. he's trying not to let them take over his logic, but he struggles. he is constantly upset that he still has these childhood fears that bind him.

♡ speaking of his time during the orphanage: his dirty unkempt upbringing and the long lasting effects of it could be seen in his living space. the chaotic and 'dirty' environment is almost comforting to him. sticky notes with ramblings of riddles and math problems. besides, his brain works too fast to care where things were placed in his home.  

♡ despite his messy apartment, he hates feeling dirty. this is also thanks to the orphanage. he’s well kempt. everything is messy, not dirty. the orphanage was sadly, both. he looks like a sopping wet rat, it doesn't mean he smells like one though.

♡ he also has a fear of smelling bad, despite knowing he thoroughly washes. ⋆⭒ i think he would smell like soap or just his laundry detergent. he wants to try different scents, he kind of likes the idea of having a 'signature scent,' but honestly some smells give him a headache if they're too concentrated. and he can't have that while doing his everyday activities. ⋆⭒ its the kind of scent where you can only really smell it on the person when you hug them, y'know? which is kind of fine to him, he'd rather smell like nothing than something bad.

♡ he absolutely despises drops. any kind of heavy drug really he stays away from. he knows just how easily it can unravel a person, after constantly watching kids as young as 12 years old become addicted to it. his intellect would go to waste if he ever decided to start using.

♡ BUT! definitely smokes weed, or just in general he smokes. he probably tried it for the first time in his early twenties, hated it and dropped it. but he CANNOT continue handling his anxieties raw. so he picks it up again in his thirties. only occasionally... kind of.

♡ he loves LOVES animals. i like to think he had a little hyperfixation on animals and the general care for them when he was younger, so despite never having a pet, he could definitely at least recommend what to feed your average household pet.

♡ not only that, but he finds interest their internal structures, and the similarities to the human body. (i honestly don't know where these hcs came from, but bare with me here.) ⋆⭒ he loves dogs, but he's found himself liking cats a bit more recently. especially strays, he finds their resilience to continue living despite their circumstances to be admirable. ⋆⭒ he'd love to adopt. but he can hardly keep track of his own health, not to mention the state of his apartment. and don't even get him started on the extra expenses. ⋆⭒ though, i think he'd be pretty scared of interacting with any stray, maybe just animals in general he'd be pretty hesitant of being around. he doesn't like the uncertainty. and hates remembering his bad experiences with animals when he was younger. ⋆⭒ i think he'd bring himself to a cat café for one of his birthdays after weighing the pros and cons, after a day that was especially rough on him or something. he usually doesn't care for the date, but he honestly just likes using it as an excuse to go out somewhere whenever he feels like it. (he probably cried either from the animals' cuteness or the fact that he was there alone, maybe a bit of both. poor employees probably didn't know what to do.) ⋆⭒ i also think it would be funny if he was allergic, but obsessed. constantly sneezing but he can't help but want to cuddle up with them. but he doesn't have to be.

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

Hi! I'm alive!

I have not been very active or responsive here for months; I've chosen to (/ in some cases had to) prioritize other things of late. But I'm still here! I'll share some of the things I've been up to under the readmore, but I'll start with this:

I'm really sorry to folks whose asks have gone unanswered.

I will try to get through some this month; but I won't manage to get through them all. If you are super in need of an answer, dm or send another ask letting me know and I'll make sure to prioritize yours <3

You can also try searching through my blog for answers; see this post for some of my most-used tags so you can search by topic.

Stuff I've been up to:

This past fall I was over the moon to be invited into several wonderful projects!

Two involved liturgy collections; one won't be out till Advent, but the other thing is A Sanctified Art's "Everything in Between" Lenten worship materials — I wrote a combined Maundy Thursday / Good Friday service for the collection.

The other project was a book coming out in spring 2026 on ministry with disabled youth. I almost couldn't believe it when I got an email inviting me to write a chapter of an anthology that will also hold the writings of real authors I've read! I wrote my chapter on "cripping" youth ministry by:

universalizing access (no more accomodations only for youth who have managed to get a diagnosis — everyone deserves to have their needs met);

integrating "crip genius / disabled wisdom" (drawing especially from Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha's writing);

and incorporating what Laverne Cox calls possibility models into lesson plans — for the purposes of youth ministry, this would include figures from scripture, across (Christian & other) history, and into the present who model possibilities beyond the absent or miserable futures society lays out for disabled, BIPOC, queer, and otherwise marginalized persons.

I'm also seeking to.....go back to school!

I'm a scholar at heart and I miss the chance to research and discuss in an academic community. I actually just got my rejection letter from Emory's PhD in religion program last week :(

I'm not surprised — it's an incredibly competitive program and I don't have the experience under my belt that some applicants likely do. Still. Sigh. I have big tangled Feelings about it, but I'll probably save those for my other more personal blog, @a-queer-seminarian. But I just submitted my application for Emory's Candler School of Religion's Doctor of Ministry program! which is a much less intense doctorate than a PhD, made for ministers to complete while continuing their usual work.

Also, its abbreviation is DMin, pronounced Demon. Which I'm sure I'll keep making jokes about long past everyone in my life finds it funny lmao

Finally, I've been working hard at working...less hard.

I've been in Autistic burnout since at least seminary, but still have pushed myself to get a certain amount of things done every month. This past year or so, my bodymind has been teaching me the hard lesson that I just. can't. do that anymore.

I've been trying to practice what I preach, to embrace crip time — for crip time is sabbath time is God's time. And we truly are beloved; we don't need to "produce" a damn thing to earn that love. Part of being in solidarity, of acknowledging our interdependence with God, humans, and the created world, is letting ourselves be cared for. Finding small creative ways to show our care.

In 2024 I finally did things I just "never got around to" before, like trying out new medications (wellbutrin & trazodone my beloved <3) and getting my labs done (turns out my body doesn't make its own folate so now I get it in pill form and I think it's really helped my energy and mood! Aaand I've been going to therapy. And trying to refocus on what matters to me most.

Okay that's enough. How are y'all? Where are you finding community? What sources of hope, wisdom, creativity have you found most helpful in a time such as this?

[blueishspace]

The Watchers court p2

BigB: Defendant, who will be your defence?

Punz: I will.

Grian: Defendant, do you accept...

Punz: Punz.

Grian: Punz as your defence.

Dream: I do.

Pearl: Then so it will be, defence do you have an opening statement?

Punz: I do. May I?

BigB: Go ahead.

Punz: Thank you. I'm going to be quick, this court is all a sham based on the whining of a delinquent desperate for attention.

Tommy: Oh I'll show you delinquent you bitch! Come here you-

Grian: Order! Order in the court!

Tommy: But-

Grian: 👁️👁️👁️ORDER👁️👁️👁️

Tommy: ...

Punz: ...

Grian: My apologies, go on.

Punz: Y-yes, the defendant just did his job as an admin and the prosecution was just punished for breaking the server rules.

Pearl: ... Is that all?

Punz: ... Yes?

BigB: Ok then, It's time to bring the first witness to the stand.

*in the jury*

E1!Jimmy: Oh wow, you look so cool!

Kristin: Why, thank you dear.

Knight!Grian: Pay attention people. This is important.

Martyn: Bring the first witness.

Tommy: Wait...

Ranboo: U-uh... hi?

Tommy: Boob boy!?

Ranboo: Hi Tommy!

Tubbo: You're alive?

Tommy: How is he alive?

Pearl: Magic.

Grian: We needed him for the court so we took him.

Tommy: You can do that!?!?

BigB: Ehm ...can we go on?

Pearl: Right. Can you state your name, pronoums and occupation for the court mate.

Ranboo: Right! U-uh... Ranboo and uh... what are pronoums.

Pearl: How should we refer to you?

Ranboo: ... Ranboo?

Tubbo: Psttt, they mean if you use he/she/they or something else.

Ranboo: Oooh! Phil was trying to teach it to me! Uh, He/They ... I think?

Jimmy: Writing that down!

Grian: And occupation?

Ranboo: I don't really- uh... I worked at the burger stand for a while? I guess?

Grian: That works. Now you can begin with the examination.

Punz: Objection your honors, this isn't a valid witness.

BigB: Why?

Punz: Ranboo here is famously known to have a terrible memory.

Pearl: Is this true?

Ranboo: Y-yes m'am... but I... I have my memory book with me!

*He holds up a leather book*

Grian: I think it might still be helpful to hear from this witness, objection denied.

Tommy: Hello boob boy.

Ranboo: It's not... *sigh* nevermind.

Tubbo: Sooo... What can you tell the court about Dream?

Ranboo: He's evil! H-he destroyed the community house and put Tommy in exile.

Tommy: Damn right he is!

Ranboo: And he stole the disks right? I don't really remember why they are important but I know they are!

Grian: Anything else.

Ranboo: He ... Killed Tommy, I think I remember it! In prison!

Tubbo: And the book, you haven't made additions to it recently have you?

Ranboo: No! I... I didn't really use it after I died.

Grian: Can we take a look at this book of yours?

Ranboo: O-oh sure!

Pearl: Well... this is actually pretty small. How do you keep all your menories here?

Ranboo: I don't, I had another book before this but it got lost.

Pearl: Oh, that sucks... we'll copy it and put it in the evidence if you consent.

Ranboo: I ...sure?

BigB: Taurtis? Could you bring the book to be copied?

Taurtis: On it!

Grian: Now, is that all you have to say about Dream?

Ranboo: Y-yeah.

Grian: Defence, you can begin your cross examination now.

*in the jury*

Knight!Grian: Not exactly a strong start for the prosecution, all of these acts are hardly illegal.

Voice of The Star: Maybe so, but based on the testimony we may still look at a case of abuse of admin powers.

Kristin: Indeed, and we still have more witnesses after this one.

Punz: Ranboo, you have stated that Dream is evil, why?

Ranboo: What? I-I just said he destroyed the community house... And exiled Tommy.

Punz: Well that's untrue.

Ranboo: Uh?

Punz: Dream did not exile Tommy, that was Tubbo.

Ranboo: W-well, yeah... but Dream was behind it!

Punz: As the one who caught Tommy committing arson and the one who put him on trial, yes. Are either of these crimes, your honurs?

Pearl: ...no?

Punz: Exactly. As for the community house, there is no proof he was the culprit.

Tommy: Bullshit! He admitted it!

Grian: Order! ... Punz, is this true? Did ge admit it?

Punz: ...

Grian: Well?

Punz: He did. However, it was at axe point under threat of violence, his confession is therefore invalid as it was coerced out of him.

Ranboo: W-what about the disks?

Punz: Ah yes, did you forget that Tommy gave those disks over willingly as part of a trade?

Ranboo: I-

Punz: Cleary the witness doesn't know what he's talking about-

Tubbo: Objection!

Grian: ... To what?

Tubbo: All of it!

Jimmy: ...pstt...Can he do that?

Pearl: I don't know, but it sounds interesting.

BigB: Uh...go ahead.

Tubbo: Thank you bossman! First of all, Dream threatened L'Manberg and me into exiling Tommy. He promised the death of every citizien should we not exile Tommy, if his admission is invalid then so was the exile which he should have known as an admin!

Grian: It's true, when I was admin of Evo I had to learn a lot of laws so yes, he should have known.

Tubbo: More then that, he personally curated Tommy's exile! Nowhere in my decision did I ever say that Dream should have done anything more then bringing Tommy outside the country which means all actions Dream took during exile were done illegally!

Ranboo: wow...

Tommy: ... Holy shit.

Tubbo: Second of all, the disks were first stolen by Dream as punishment for Tommy not listening to Dream, what do the admin laws say about stealing players valuable as punishment?

Grian: ... Taurtis, please bring a copy of the admin codex?

Taurtis: Here you go G!

*Grian reads a bit*

Grian: It seems that you shouldn't have had the authority to do so ... however this is a minor offence...

Punz: Ah!

Grian: However you have hidden a lot of information, I suggest you do not do so again.

Pearl: You cunt.

*a lady in the back shouts*

Ianite: That's my son! Wooo!

Tubbo: Mom? Why are you here???

Ianite: To cheer you on! You're doing so good!

Tubbo: Mom...

Pearl: Lady Ianite???

Ianite: Oh greetings saintess.

Grian: Right, Ranboo you may leave the stand.

Ranboo: Y-yes sir!

Martyn: Alright, now there is going to be a 20 minute break before we go to the next witnesses.

Prev Next

[aziraphales-library]

hello!! i love you all so much (platonic) and appreciate the work you do. do you have any recs where one/both of the ineffable husbands/wives is getting out of a relationship and goes to the other for comfort and maybe realizes they've been in love with them the whole time? thanks so much <333333

Here are some break-up friends-to-lovers fics for you...

I'm All Yours by FeralTuxedo (E)

Anthony J. Crowley knew he looked like a walking mid-life crisis. The tight jeans, half-up bun and sunglasses positively screamed ‘I left my wife for the babysitter and bought a vintage car just to feel alive again.’ In an adaptation of his life, he’d be played by Hugh Grant. He looked like a divorcee desperate for action, and it didn’t help that he was currently standing outside a nightclub surrounded by drunk twenty-year-olds. But Crowley wasn’t here for a good time tonight. He was on a rescue mission. Crowley has been rescuing his friend Aziraphale over and over again for a decade. Hopelessly in love, ready to jump at a moment’s notice when he was needed. When Aziraphale finally breaks up with his partner, Crowley is there to help him through what’s looking to be one hell of a mid-life crisis. Things could finally change. If he manages not to mess it up again. A human AU with a whole forest’s worth of pining squeezed into a single day.

…And They Were Roommates by Mimsynims (E)

“You know… I just remembered that Richard and I were going away for a few days next month.” Something devious came over him. “Richard paid for it, but the booking is in my name.” Crowley quickly caught on to what he was getting at. “Ooh, I see. That’s convenient.” He grinned. “For us." When Aziraphale's boyfriend Richard (Dick) breaks up with him, he and his roommate Crowley hijacks an intended couples' vacation and uses it for themselves. Lines that had started to blur even before their trip gets even more blurry - which perhaps isn't the best thing when both are hiding a crush on the other (and communication isn't their strong suit).

Ezra at the Wedding by tenandi (E)

Ezra's ex is moving on but he's determined to stop the wedding. With his handsome neighbor masquerading as his new love interest, will he win back his true love and rewrite the happy ending he deserves? - Crowley was leaning against the doorframe, obviously hungover and running on about two hours of sleep. A ripped t-shirt hung off one shoulder over a pair of boxers with devil ducks printed all over them. To top it all off, he was wearing black velvet slippers embroidered with his monogram. In any other instance, Ezra would have laughed but he was too busy being wrapped up in his anguish. “What do you want, Crowley?” Ezra fumed. “I am having a moment here!”

You are HoMe (Half of Me) by angelsnuffbox (T)

Aziraphale had gotten dumped, plain and simple. But that small detail wasn’t nearly as important as all the things that happened after he’d gotten dumped - such as coming to a few realisations about his best friend of sixteen years.

Hooped Earrings by OfEden (E)

After 29 years Azira comes out. While her family and ex boyfriend don't support her, her life long best friend is there by her side every step of the way.

Crawling Back To You by madrabbitwrites (NR)

College-age Aziraphale pushed his closest friend away and moved out of town with his married Literature professor in a panicked attempt at escaping his family’s rampant homophobia. Years later, devastated by a dreadful break-up, he’s returned to his small hometown to live with his brother and attempt to heal his broken heart (and broken life, if he were being honest with himself). What he didn’t count on was his old friend Crawley- now calling himself Crowley and looking dashing as ever- to have returned as well. Crawley’s wounds from their last argument are deep and Aziraphale may never be able to regain what they once had, but he’d certainly like to try. The two of them need to have an actual conversation, but that’s not really how these plots go, is it?

- Mod D

[transfem-juice]

Well it's been awhile, how's everyone doing

I've been... Uh...... Same old same old I guess? I can't really remember where I was last time I was here so idk where I am in comparison lol

It seems like it's only been 2 months but feels like longer, in that time I decided that I do want to go ahead and try cutting out all social media long term rather than just migrating from twitter to bluesky and doing the same exhausting yet addicting social media shit there, unfortunately maybe a week ago I thought about how I'd maybe like to get back into the tumblr routine as I feel that I probably like this place best out of any site, but then I read an article trying to realistically judge the risks that trump will have to online trans people/spaces and decided not to get hooked on social media again if the companies are seemingly likely to outright ban trans people for fear that the government cracks down on them hosting what it will try to redefine as grooming material

It was a depressing but fascinating and important to read article btw

I also recommend reading this if you have the spoons, fair warning though that it's 24,000 words and if you download it as a pdf like it suggests then it spans across 88 pages total if you include stuff like table of contents

I did read a bit of it, specifically a bit about creating a trans micro library, as it was linked from this article

So yea now I'm interested in building a trans micro library

If anyone has any suggestions for stuff to add (links would be especially helpful but not strictly necessary if you don't have it off the top of your head) just let me know, I'd be interested in books, pdfs, zines, music, art, games, porn, whatever, also bonus points if it's transfeminine

I haven't started building it yet but off the top of my head there are a few things I plan to add:

- fucking trans women zine that I have favourited on the internet archive

- hardcoded, a transfem visual novel style porn game where you play as a transfem robot

- mp3 and flac formats of black dresses discography, along with ada rooks discography from when the album's were free to download on bandcamp last(?) winter

- some trans porn I have saved (I haven't looked in awhile but I assume I have some downloaded)

Now that I list it I realize how shit my memory is cause I swear there was more I had floating around up there but whatever I'll remember it later

Anyways yea see ya later

[monsterswithimagines]

Sailor Song (Nathan's pov) - part 7

Nathan Young x Female!Reader

Summary: After Nathan is buried alive, things aren't all rainbows and unicorns for him. One night, after a particularly bad nightmare in which he's back in his coffin all over again, he calls his ex–you. A/n: I swear to fuck, I really wanted the show to focus on the friendship between the gang, more than just 'I just want to be your friend' 'alright' and 'so we're not gonna shag then?'. I mean, Nathan, Alisha and Curtis don't really seem to be huge friends (though I wanna focus on that more, too, at some point) but damnit LET NATHAN HAVE FRIENDS. Anyway. If anyone's wondering why I'm putting so much focus on the Asbo 5 in a romance story, that's why. Kinda hilarious that this fic was originally gonna be 10 parts per pov. I don't think that's gonna work.

Masterlist

~

Nathan did not remember how he had ended up at your flat. Or anything after the others had left the pub–except maybe you standing at the mouth of an alley with your arms crossed.

He groaned, rubbing his head as he sat up. His head was pounding. Where had he even gotten the money for more drinks? Probably someone had bought them for him. He hoped he hadn’t done anything too stupid to get them. He was known for that.

You must have anticipated Nathan’s hangover. There was a strip of Anadin Extra on the coffee table, as well as a half-full glass of water. His jacket was folded next to it.

Nathan swallowed two of the pills at the same time, drank the water, then went to the kitchen to fill up the glass again. The clock on the microwave told him it was ten am. That bothered him, for some reason, but he couldn’t think why just now.

Then… shit, community service!

Nathan rushed into the living room and dug through the pockets of his jacket for his phone. For a moment he was worried he’d lost it, but then he found it in an inside pocket where he would never otherwise put it. It was at ten percent.

He had several missed calls from both Kelly and Barry, as well as a bunch of texts, all of which came down to: where are you?

He called Barry, because he seemed the least likely to yell at him.

“Nathan?” the little creep answered.

“Hi, yes, it’s me.”

“Where are you?”

Nathan glanced around the living room.

“...Somewhere.”

“We’ve been worried.”

“Why? I’m immortal,” Nathan said grandly.

“You could still be slowly bleeding out in a ditch.”

“Yes, well, I’m not. I’m on my way now. You can all stop getting your panties in a twist. Twat.”

Nathan hung up.

He patted the pockets of his jeans. He still had his wallet, and his cigarettes, thank God. No clue where his keys were, but those were just to the community centre, and he didn’t really give a shit if that place got broken into.

Someone cleared their throat.

Nathan whirled around.

You were standing in the doorway to what he guessed was your bedroom. Your hair was a mess and you wore a white bathrobe. You had your arms crossed as you leaned in the doorway.

“Going somewhere?” you asked.

“Got my community service,” Nathan said weakly.

He would have been out of here just as fast if he didn’t have an excuse, but he felt it was probably better not to say that.

“Right,” you said.

“Thank you, for, uh…” Nathan gestured towards the couch.

You shrugged.

You were giving him a very, very strange look.

“What? Have I got something on my face?” Nathan asked, feeling his face as he spoke.

“No. Just… you said some stuff last night… You don’t remember?”

“Not really.” Not at all. Not even a little.

“Oh.”

Nathan did not like that look on your face.

He booked it.

-

“So then ya just left?” Kelly asked as they walked around the estate, haphazardly picking up litter.

“Pretty much,” Nathan said, making a face. “It was really very awkward.”

“Aren’cha at least a little bit curious what all you said?”

 “No.”

Kelly rolled her eyes.

“With how you been thinkin’, you probably declared your undying love, or somefin.”

“I don’t love her,” Nathan insisted.

Barry had been keeping suspiciously quiet the whole time, but now he made a sort of laughing noise–a small huff of air out of his nose while he smiled.

Who knew where Curtis and Alisha were.

“You got something to say, creep?” Nathan snapped. He realised right away that he sounded a bit meaner than he had been to Barry in a while, and poked him in the shoulder to make up for it. “Stop gangin’ up on me.”

“It’s just funny,” Barry said after a moment. “The thought of you in love.”

“That’s because it doesn’t happen,” Nathan insisted.

Now it was Kelly’s turn to snort. “Yeah, right.”

“Love’s far too complicated, man,” Nathan said, stabbing roughly at some used tissues. “I prefer the leavin’ part of love ‘em and leave ‘em.”

“If you say so.”

“Well, I do.”

Nathan…

Nathan stopped when he heard the voice. They were in a neighbourhood, surrounded by ugly concrete buildings. So basically, they could have been anywhere in Wertham. That being said, being surrounded by buildings meant the voice echoed.

It sounded somehow less human than it had at the park.

“Mate,” Kelly said (or maybe she said ‘Nate’, who knew with her accent?), turning back to look at Nathan. “What?”

“Do you guys hear that?”

Naaaathaaaan…

“I don’t hear anything,” Barry said, after listening for a moment.

“I swear, there’s somebody calling my name,” Nathan said, looking around.

“Is this like that bollocks with that baby?” Kelly asked. “Because if you steal another one, I’m not savin’ ya.”

“Shush.”

But the voice was gone. All Nathan heard now was the mild breeze echoing between houses.

I must be going insane.

“Yeah, you must be,” Kelly agreed.

“Maybe someone with powers is messing with you,” Barry offered, frowning. “Making you hear something that isn’t there.”

“That does seem like the preferable option, doesn’t it?” Nathan asked, catching up with his friends. “Instead of just ‘Nathan is hearing shit that isn’t there’?”

“Maybe you were hearing a ghost.”

“Nah, man,” Nathan said. “Ghosts don’t sound all creepy an’ shit. They just sort of show up.” He paused. “Besides, I haven’t seen any dead people since my brother and that chick he was shaggin’. I bet it was because of them drugs. Usually I’m immortal, but when I took E, I saw ghosts.”

“Maybe,” Barry said thoughtfully.

“We’re just gonna brush off you hearin’ voices, then?” Kelly asked, hip-checking Nathan as they began walking again.

“Yes, I think that’s the best course of action,” Nathan said. “Or we can find a nice, cosy little asylum for me. I prefer something near a beach.”

“Don’t be a wanker,” Kelly told him, slapping the back of his head.

“Hey!”

Barry laughed.

[cosmicjoke]

AoT Short Stories Vol. 4: The Dusty Library- Hange & Levi:

And once again, another story highlighting Levi's exceptional kindness.

This one's well known among the community, obviously. But basically, it revolves around Levi searching Hange out to ask them about being able to let Eren out of his cell, from the previous story, and having to rescue Hange from being crushed by a pile of books that begin to fall from a shelf after they try extracting a single tome.

"Levi just barely managed to grab the collar of Hange's jacket and pull the away from the pile of books that fell in the ensuing avalanche.

'Man, you really saved me there, Levi. I might've gotten brain damage if that many books hit me.'

'Don't worry, you can't get any worse than you already are. You really need to be more aware of your surroundings, you know.'

'How rude,' Hange said as they put their goggles back on, 'I am aware.' Hange then brushed the dust off the book they removed.

'Take the books here. This castle is inside the walls, but it's full of books and stockpiled goods that use letters we can't read. The area inside the Walls is dotted with ruins like these, almost as if civilization itself went extinct once-'

'I'm not talking about your intellectual horizons. Even I know how sharp your mind is. I'm saying that exactly why you need to value your own life more. If I wasn't around just now, you could've broken your neck if a book landed wrong.'

'Oh, you're so kind.'

Levi huffed, his expression souring even further. He hated being described with words like those.

'... You said that on purpose, didn't you?'

'Hah, so you knew?'

This entire exchange is so sweet, and really exemplifies Levi's kindness. The fact he gets embarrassed at Hange pointing that kindness out really speaks to the fact that Levi isn't at all used to it. Some people are keenly aware of who Levi really is, but he's used to being treated like the opposite, like he's some sort of bad or unkind person, again, because he doesn't know how to properly express his actual feelings. So he gets flustered at Hange basically teasing him here, pointing out that he can't fool them, that they know he saved them from the falling books because he cares deeply about their life, and everyone's lives in general. Levi points out before that Hange needs to value their own life more, and he sells it to them on the basis that humanity needs them for their intellectual prowess, but Hange sees through that and knows what Levi actually means. He's trying to get Hange to be more careful because he doesn't want them to die or be hurt, whether they're valuable to the cause of humanity or not, but he thinks it'll be easier to convince them to take more caution if he frames it as them being indispensable to humanity. I think this really goes back to Levi's final, few exchanges with Hange, before their great sacrifice in the final arc, with him telling Hange that they "sound like him", meaning Erwin, and Levi's obvious dismay at that realization, knowing what Hange is planning, to give themselves up to the duty of their role as Commander. I don't think anything hurts Levi more than losing his comrades to something as abstract as an ideology. To their having a sense of obligation or duty to their position, or their chosen path. I think Levi wishes he could convince all of them to forego that duty and to keep living, but he knows he can't, because it's what they've chosen for themselves and he has too much respect for people's agencies to ever impose himself and his desires on them. And so he can only support it, even as it destroys him inside. He's basically begging Hange in this story to stay alive, the way he orders his comrades multiple times in the story to do the same. To Levi, it's their individual lives that matter most of all, that are more important than any dream.

Later in the story, Hange asks Levi what he came to see them about:

"'Right. About Eren... I want to give him permission to walk freely around here. I know the Corps must want to stick him underground, but...'

Hange tells him it's fine, that the walls of the castle are sturdy enough to withstand a transformation, and that there are plenty of high towers for them to use their ODM gear on.

"'Okay. I'm glad to hear that... Also...'

'Hm?'

'At least dry yourself off before scouring this place. I can see through your shirt. It's indecent.'

Levi glared at Hange like he would a pile of garbage as he pointed at the fireplace that Moblit must have lit out of consideration for his drenched superior."

Again, we see Levi's kindness, in his relief at being able to help Eren by letting him out of his cell, and also in the way he tries to help Hange again, by pointing out that he can see through their wet shirt. As always with Levi, it comes out harshly, like he's disgusted, but the truth is, Levi just doesn't want Hange being exposed to prying eyes, and also, he assuredly wants them to get dry so they don't end up getting sick. It's his way of trying to protect them from embarrassment or humiliation, and also his way of trying to get them to take better care of themselves. That's just how Levi expresses himself. But once you realize that about him, that he has difficulty saying what he really means, you can see he's truly, endlessly kind and caring. It's not hyperbole to say Levi is the most compassionate and kind character in SnK. It's so incredibly obvious when you actually understand how he operates. If one isn't able to pick up on it from Levi's actions alone, the fact it gets pointed out by multiple characters should clue them in, too.

[lost-technology]

Trigun Maximum - What the Gender???!!! Okay, so I'm sitting here doing a re-read of Trigun Maximum Vol. 5 and I get to the last chapter. I am reading the print edition from Dark Horse - Japanese publication in 2001, English language translation publication in 2005 according to the back of the book. Anyway, I got a little confused by something I hadn't remembered that is apparently there: The page where Elendira is dumped out onto the ground from the Ark (and wants to gut the helmsman) Meryl says: "A transvestite?! (He has a nicer figure than I do...)" I had forgotten that because I believe that most people tend to refer to the Trigun Manga Overhaul fan-translation for that, which is here for that chapter: https://www.trigunoverhaul.com/TVol5Ch06.html and has Meryl saying: "A trans-woman?! (But she has a better figure than I do...)" One is official (comic-licensed), one is fan-translated (but is said to be very accurate, done as dedicated fans rather than people just paid for a task). I am wondering which is more accurate? Specifically, I am wondering if the latter one "cleaned things up" for the sake of modern sensitivities or if it really does carry more of the gist of the original. I mean, I found myself with a bit of confusion at that chapter when skimming Overhall and seeing Legato say "She saved me," when my Dark Horse book has "He saved me" which had led me to believe that Legato had been referring to Knives (Knives chose to spare him, by order) - while "She saved me" (referring to Elendira) completely changes the meaning. Legato *does* have one of his "fanatical" facial expressions there, thus leaving me confused as to whether he is surprised that Elendira the ("he" in DH or "she" in Overhaul) saved him or if it might have been "he" referring to Knives ordering him spared? I am not asking for people to cancel Nightow... (ugh, please don't). I don't even know if pronouns work the same in Japanese as they do in English (I heard that they do not). Having been alive in 2005 and having read the volume back around then (either that or I got it in 2006 or so, anyway, I was alive back then AND old enough to read a very bloody, adult-oriented manga), well, I seem to remember "transvestite" being a more common term then / the basic common before "transgender" "transwoman" and "transman" came into common usage. Not being a part of the trans community, I do not know if it was more "the accepted common term" then or if it was always a slur and I thought it used to be the common term before new terms were created? If my recall is accurate, "transgender" / trans - man/woman was coming into play then and "transvestite" was fading out as it was more often used in a derogatory fashion than as a descriptor. (I honestly do not know very much about the culture of the words, so forgive me if I am getting things wrong).* *There was a similar process that I saw in real time regarding what is now known as the R-word for certain disabilities. I was alive (a child) back in the 1980s when the word was actually a medical descriptor but was ALSO a slur and by about the 1990s other medical terms were used and "R" had become exclusively insulting. - It is one of those things that one must be mindful of when encountering old media. (I watched a Twilight Zone 1985 episode I hunted up having vaguely remembered it from my childhood on Youtube some time ago that treated the condition and a character that had it with sensitivity, but had his parents and medical staff using the term and it felt like a shock / I had to remind myself "that was the term back then"). I'm just left wondering about the bias DH translators might have had back in the day having been jumpscared by that when most of today's manga-readers are obviously reading Overhaul.

[tsmass]

Whenever gay Americans get angry abt what our government is doing to Palestinians (and why), there's always someone who loves to be like "Who's gonna tell these dummies homosexuality is illegal in Gaza?"

That's so crazy.

I'm a gay Texan in my mid 20s. When I was a little kid, homosexuality was illegal. Here in Texas, where I lived and where I still happily live.

So (TW "war" crimes) I guess it would've been fair enough if the U.S. and Israel had bombed me and my family and neighbors, our houses and jobsites and whole communities, the girls I played with down the street, my baby brothers, my grandparents at work, the trans Texans who used to meet up downtown in the city, everybody else etc. If they had deliberately driven us from our homes and forced us to live in terror every night and every day, maiming our children, burning our parents alive, attacking&cutting off our food and water, blocking our aid, methodically starving us out and telling us straight up that we needed to be scrubbed off the face of the earth so they could take everything we have and not worry about keeping it.

I mean, damn I guess we would've had it coming. Homosexuality wasn't even legal, right? Sounds like a Texas problem. What do I care what the gov spends all those $$,$$$,$$$,$$$ and lives doing?

*Just to be clear, gay sex between men was a crime here until 2003 (when I was definitely kicking around, painting my nails with markers and eating bugs).

If I wanted to see penalties that were exactly the same as (or often harsher than) what's been left on the books in Gaza (and maybe sometimes ? enforced), I just have to go back one generation to my parents' lifetime, when men were getting 10 years in prison and, unlike in Palestine, police were setting up sting operations to actively crack down on the gay problem (again, smth that doesn't even happen in Gaza).

This is not, like, a weird feature of some "foreign" culture to me, and it really shouldn't be for any American who isn't super young or who knows her history. That doesn't make it right (at all), but you can't believe the lie that "these people aren't like you". Pretending this has any relevance on the genocide other than to say that queer Palestinians are even more greatly impacted by it is crazy and disgusting.

-- This really doesn't need to be added, but if we're supposed to play this stupid game, Palestinians in the West Bank took their anti-gay laws off the books in the early 1950s, at the same time basically all U.S. state governments were creating new laws specifically targeting gay (and trans) ppl and categorizing gay sex as a felony with harsh prison sentences. Now should our American grandparents/parents have been starved and scrubbed off the earth?? I would say... No!

The laws in Gaza are definitely not good for gay and trans Gazans -- stigma is very real, and gay rights aren't explicitly protected under the freedoms and human rights guaranteed by the Palestinian constitution. This is wrong, but obv genocide makes it a million times worse and is indescribably more horrible for all Palestinians, queer and straight.

And I don't get how anybody living in the "anglo-sphere" can pretend like this is some distant culture we're talking about -- these laws were imposed by the British Empire on occupied Palestine in the 1930s and then left on the books. Incredibly, Palestinians are normal people, and I think there's a good reason so many lgbt's see right through this bullshit.

We understand that the same politicians who weaponize "family values" can condemn families to death to line their own pockets.

We've heard "save the children" from people happy to condemn children to the horrors of genocide.

And when bought-out politicians defend our gay rights, they still don't hesitate to drop bombs on our mangled gay bodies.

[positivelybeastly]

"I was really tempted to make this a montage of Hank taking sitting on the edge of a chair to its natural extreme, because no-one sits on a chair like goddamn Hank McCoy."

Please don't hold back, just do it 😌 Show us Hank's ways of sitting <3

Hehehe, so, I've been wanting to tackle this one for a while, but it took a little time and I wanted to get my caps together, so, let's get through it, shall we?

So, anyone who's ever consumed a piece of X-Men media is likely aware of the fact that Hank McCoy Does Not Sit On Chairs.

Like, I mean . . . he does.

He is ostensibly capable of sitting in a chair like a human being would.

But then he does this shit. All the time.

Hell, how do we meet him in X-Men: The Last Stand?

Reading, upside down, on the ceiling.

So, this thing that he does - he does do it every now and then to be intimidating, but let's be real here, Hank doesn't really do intimidating very often.

No, the real reason he does it, is because it's comfortable.

He seemingly has absolutely no issue with blood rushing to the head or orientation causing him vertigo or anything like that, which fits with his superhuman agility, dexterity, and balance - his brain and body seem to be perfectly adapted so that he can remain upside down for as long as he wants without issue.

Hell, Hank's physicality and its role in expressing his character is explicitly called out in Marvel Masterworks: The Avengers #18 as a useful way to immediately communicate to new readers what he's about. He's weird, he's kooky, he's playful, he's not quite like everyone else.

But it's one thing to hang from the ceiling. It's another entirely to see how Hank deigns to handle actual chairs. Because you'll start a scene, and he'll be like this. Just sitting, normal. Like a normal person sits.

AAAAAAAND there he goes.

He just cannot help himself.

Never has been able to help himself, in fact!

SIT! ON! THE CHAIR! HANK!

HANK THAT'S NOT EVEN A CHAIR GET DOWN FROM THERE.

Hank, I refuse to believe you're washing your feet often enough for this to be hygienic. You're EATING that popcorn! Someone else might want to read that book without wondering why there's a goddamn footprint on it! ALSO!!! That chair is RIGHT there! Sit on it! Don't use it as an arm rest, that's just weird!

. . . Is this a thing people do? Sleep on their front? I've always found that spectacularly uncomfortable? Just me?

Hank, you've been alive for like 5 minutes, and you're already back on your bullshit?!

Oh, you're just doing this to mock me now, you little fucker.

You too, you little bitch?

But. Yes. Hank clearly does not believe in there being a universally accepted way to sit on chairs.

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

What inspired you or made you decide to start writing fics?

Escapism.

I've been writing since I entered double digits in age. Pen and paper first and then eventually moved to keyboard because it was easier to hide a document as a homework assignment. I think lots of people daydream about living in different worlds. I just wanted to write all those down. Both worlds I created and those created by others. I found it really helped giving me a grasp of the English language. It's also ever evolving, which my idea of fun, lol.

I won't dwell on it here. Grew up in an abusive household. Physical, emotional, fucked me up beyond repair, had a very warped construct of existence. But an activity that wasn't punished was reading books since it was directly linked to education. And so I read. I read a lot and way above my grade level (pushed by my curiousity and expectations to excel beyond all others). To this day, I can't read novels in a non-obsessive manner so I don't do it often unless I have large chunks of time set aside (interferes with my other responsibilities lol). With reading came writing as I wanted to have an improved understanding of the nuances of the English language. I wrote (and still write) both original work and fanfiction. I assure you most of the first ten years of my writing was written very poorly. Thankfully those hard drives corrupted. I sometimes posted it, sometimes didn't. I was part of various writing communities, too.

This blog is only BTS because I need to hone in on one topic, basically. It doesn't mean my wiring only consists of BTS stories. (Probably also explains why I have carpal tunnel, add on my gaming habit and oof). I started this blog because 1) I love BTS (that might be obvious but who knows), 2) I wanted there to be more options for stories with protected sex, and 3) I felt their Korean identity was somewhat lost in westernized perspectives. I know there's Korean fanfiction; I'm mostly referring to written in English fics. At the time of starting this blog, I was on the journey to reclaim the hobbies I had back then. Those hobbies had existed to keep me alive at the lowest times in my life (the first two decades, yay). I could only create in darkness. I hated that. I wanted to change that. But I needed something to hold me accountable. So I spent some days listening to 'D-2' on repeat and thought, fuck it, and created whatifyoulivelikethat.

Really sorry to Min Yoongi that the lore of me creating a porn blog was replaying 'People' and taking his words to heart. I don't think he meant it like that. XD It's too late now...

[tangg-official-by-maddy-k]

There Are No "Good Guys" update.

Okay... I'm only working with this as a concept right now so I might not go through with it... but I'm thinking of making a BIG change to this story.

Last night I had an epiphany. What if I just focus NGG on the "making change in our community and the world" plot line and dropped the hero/villain aspect out of it completely. At first this idea sounded ludicrous. But the more I thought about it the more I liked it and I realized, I never liked the hero/villain aspect of this series in the first place because honestly, I've always disliked the comic book superhero genre (with a few exceptions) When I first had this idea, I thought I could simply take all the tropes I didn't like and simply avoid them... but it just isn't working. Something was so freeing about actually realizing just how much I disliked that aspect of the story. So now I'm reimagining the series and getting rid of all the things I don't like instead of forcing myself to write things I hate.

I started working on it today and honestly I like it so much better already. I might stick with this change and maybe it will mean that NGG gets finished a lot FASTER since I'm not dragging my feet through all the parts I don't like.

So yeah... more on that soon. We'll see how it goes.

To make it clear here are the changes I'm thinking of making:

Hero/Villain conflict will be greatly reduced to just a background worldbuilding thing. So yeah we're dropping the whole villains take over the world plot. :)

A lot of the antagonists will be cut.

In their place, smaller side characters like Annie, Haniya, Avery etc. will probably get more screentime.

A bigger focus on making change in the community.

The main cast will not all live together

Bonnie and Marcus join this group (that is in place of the VA idk what to call it yet) that works on creating change in the community and the world at large. Their father (who is now going to be still alive), drops them off there at work over the summer because this is the activity they chose. (I always hated the MC has dead parents trope and I hated it's place in this story so much).

And more but that would be spoiler territory

For the record here is what is STAYING:

Fantasy elements

There will still be heroes and villains but the main cast is not really involved with them it's just a worldbuilding thing.

Most of the main cast is still sticking around.

A lot of characters are not necessarily going to be "cut" but their roles will be greatly reduced.

Most of the worldbuilding will stay the same.

- Maddy K

[jesuisgourde]

I'm a bit late in watching Severance (I just finished series 1 episode 6) so I have no idea what's going on in season 2, but here are my theories/thoughts/observations for what I've watched so far:

Theory that is probably so wrong: Helly is meant to sow chaos/rebellion. Idk whether that's to weed out people or if there's something else going on. My only reason for this theory is Milchick telling Helly that what she's doing is "very brave" in episode 1.

I'm *obsessed* with the lighting in scenes outside of Lumen, the little pinpricks of light everyone has in their eyes and how cold the lighting is (except Alexa mostly has warm light which I think is soooo interesting).

I love that none of the characters are boring. Everyone is interesting, even the more minor characters. Everyone is kind of a freak which makes them fascinating.

The security guy looks like a Lego man or a Thwomp block and it's all I can think of when he's on screen but also he's great.

The two characters who I want to know most what the fuck their deal is are Dylan and Cobel. I want to know if Dylan's outie is a conspiracy nut too. I'm fascinated by Cobel. She doesn't seem to be severed (or she's always "severed" and has no outie?). When she was chanting at that shrine thing it looked like there was a trach tube or something? Did she have a daughter who died? She's clearly brainwashed or something like that, which is very interesting.

I'd love to know if any of the writers on this show read David Graeber or Byung Chul Han/I'd love to know what either writer (if Graeber were still alive) would think of the show.

My coworker and I were talking about the character that the sister meets who is severed for the birth of her children and how terrifying that she has a self that only knows childbirth and nothing else. (When Devon asks how she raises 3 kids and she says "I lot of help, I guess". Like, shit! The "I guess" isn't just a minimizing phrase, it's literal! The writing, man!)

Ricken's self help book cracks me up because I work in a secondhand bookstore and every self help book sounds like that: a statement that sounds sensible until you start thinking about it and then it's nonsense, or a statement that is genuinely sensible but is immediately followed up by or "clarified" by something completely insane.

Theory: I don't know anything about Helly's outie yet but the like 2 glimpses we've seen of her (the start of season one and the video message she sends to Helly), it seems as though she and Mark are using severance in opposite ways. At the start of the show he's severed so he can use the time at work to not think about his grieving depressed awful outside life, and it seems to me (with what little I have) like Helly's outie is maybe using severance to forget that she has to work so she can focus on an outside life.

I'm really interested in Irving's weird black goop of fatigue. None of the other characters get that (so far). Is it a commentary on how most Americans now are working far past "traditional" retirement age and being made to do too much work with too little breaks? As far as I can tell the goop is literal (inasmuch as it's an actual hallucination/dream Irving has that scares him, rather than a metaphor) which makes me wonder if it's a function of severance? Like a planned obsolescence type of thing maybe?

My roommate is obsessed with the glass cube Mark has on his desk with the image of his head. She really wants to know if that's important and what it's about, since no one else has one. Now I do too.

I hope we get to see more of June. She's a really interesting character, I think.

Congrats to Nikki M James for getting to be in this show. I saw her as Eponine on Broadway in 2014 and now she's in my tv!

I love the use of the classic "two warring tribes have the same/similar story about their rival clan being evil and dangerous, both realize that the story is false when they finally communicate" kind of trope re: MDR vs O&D but I get the feeling that they're gonna turn this on its head which I'm excited about.

Irving and Burt are so fucking cute, I love the awkward old man crush going on. John Turturro is my favorite!!

Weirdly I feel like Casey the wellness lady has some serious double agent potential.

The actor who plays Milchik is amazing. His ability to switch from looking kind and open to terrifying is fantastic. I've never seen him in anything else before and I think he's incredible.

Prediction: now that we know severance can be turned on/off remotely, that's gonna end up a major plot point either in the series 1 finale or in series 2.

The idea of severance being controlled remotely is a) terrifying and b) an incredible commentary on bosses assuming that they can call their employees on their time off/not at work.

The cinematography and camera work in general is amazing. The focal length change/zoom in the elevators! The use of negative space! The colors!

100% *the* best intro sequence to a show I've ever seen.

Random observation: Helly is the only brightly-colored person. Her hair is red, she wears jewel toned blues and greens and burnt oranges and things. Everyone else wears grey/brown/black/dark blue. Everyone else has dark or grey hair.

Random thought: if Dylan's outie is a conspiracy nut, there's a chance he knows Ricken. (although maybe not because Ricken seems like the kind of person to ask Mark if he and Dylan know each other).

I get the feeling that this show will be amazing to rewatch. I bet there are loads of little details in earlier episodes that I didn't catch because I didn't know to look for them, so I'm excited to rewatch once I've finished everything.