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cherrygirlfriend · 2 days ago
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touchy subject III pairing: reader x exfiancé!rafe synopsis: seeing your ex-fiancé after four years. warnings: angst and comfort. fluff. mentions of miscarriage/stillbirth and DUI. wc: 2.7k part 3 and the last part of touchy subject! click here for part 1, click here for part 2 i really liked writing for them and honestly i'm considering occasionally writing blurbs for them and what their relationship would shape into, lmk if you'd be interested!!
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seeing you in front of that store felt like it might've killed rafe. the first face he fell in love with, the woman who'd left him with nothing but scars and an engagement ring. somehow, he still managed to stay alive.
but hearing you say his name in the soft voice he hadn't heard in over four years, the same one that you used to tell him you loved him every single night before your body went slack in his arms, that might have been the final blow.
"what are you doing here?" you managed to mutter, your hand instinctively going to your locket, squeezing it in your hand, and the gesture didn't go unnoticed by rafe.
"what's this?" rafe asked as the two of you laid in bed, his finger tracing the patterns on the heart-shaped locket resting on your chest, the one you'd worn around your neck for as long as he'd known you.
"this?" you asked, opening the locket, displaying two pictures; one of them was of you when you were a little girl, standing between your parents with a wide, toothy grin on your face, and the other was a picture of you and rafe, taken at midsummers. "i got this from my mom. it's a family heirloom of sorts. when she's born," you looked down at your stomach, "we've gotta get a picture taken of us three so i can put it here."
he let out a small chuckle, "i'm honored that you want me in your heart."
"i think you're always going to be in my heart," you rolled your eyes, "whether i want it or not."
"i'm here to see you. i thought that'd be obvious." rafe said without an ounce of emotion in his voice, the sound causing a shiver to run down your spine. grieving your daughter on what would've been her fifth birthday wasn't a moment you exactly wanted your ex to witness, but this was still rafe. the man you loved for so long, the only man you ever loved, the one you were going to marry, and this was still the house that was supposed to be your home.
so you stepped aside, pulling your cardigan closed as a way to close yourself off from the man as you walked further into the house, not daring yourself to look back at him, fearing the urge that still remained in your chest to just pull him close to you and be in his arms.
you heard the door close, pressing your eyes shut as you stood in front of the fireplace, your arms crossed in front of your chest as if defending yourself, the man's footsteps echoing in the room, "it's cold in here."
"the radiator's broken."
"can you just, at least look at me, or something?"
"do i have to?" you chuckled humorlessly, and when you felt his hand on your shoulder, it felt like the room got ten degrees colder, the man slowly turning you around to face him, and when you refused to look up at him, focusing on the baby blue sweater he was wearing, he brought his hand to your chin, gently lifting it up, just like he did every time he was about to kiss you.
"we need to talk."
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if someone was to ask you what would be the most uncomfortable situation you had ever been in, this would be among the top 3, right after you got the 'birds and the bees' talk and the time you said your goodbyes to the same man now sitting beside you, the space between you two big enough to fit another person.
"why did you come back?" rafe asks, without even sparing you a glance. you decide to do the same, your gaze staying on the fire crackling in front of you.
"i don't know. a part of me thinks it's because i missed home."
"and the other part?"
missed us. missed her. "missed my mom, i guess."
your mother had driven you home from the hospital, insisting that she'd stay with you for the next few days; you still hadn't seen rafe. you couldn't face him, couldn't face the guilt you carried around for being the reason your daughter would be coming home in an urn.
she'd gone to the store for groceries, leaving you to sit on the couch you and rafe had picked out, staring at the engagement picture that hung above the fireplace.
you didn't know how it started, how every single vase ended up as nothing but shards of glass on the floor, how the coffee table had ended up as planks of wood, how your fists were bruised from beating them against the walls, your knees bloody from when you'd collapsed on the ground amongst all the glass.
"do you know what day it is?" rafe asked with a weak voice, and you could hear him try to swallow down the emotion crawling up his throat.
his question made you want to let out a small, humorless laugh. you don't know how you could ever forget. "of course." the day i killed her.
rafe stood up, running his hand over his chin before trailing over the short strands of hair on his head, "why did you do it?" he looked to you. "why did you leave?"
"i had no reason to stay." you say emotionlessly, your fingers intertwined as you kept your eyes on them as if you were praying.
"you had me. you would've had me if you just let me be there."
"rafe, i killed our daughter."
"what-"
"i'm the reason our daughter isn't here. i'm the reason she doesn't exist. i'm the reason that today isn't only her fifth birthday, but also the fifth anniversary of her death."
rafe kneeled down in front of you, his hands cupping your cheeks, not caring if it made you uncomfortable, or that this was the first time he'd properly touched you in over four years, the only thing that mattered to him was that you listened.
"you did not kill our daughter."
"i did."
"no." he scoffed, "you aren't the reason she's dead. the reason is the drunken asshole who drove at you. you loved her with your entire being, with everything you had, even before she was born. you would've been the most amazing mother in the world. don't you dare blame yourself for something you had zero control over."
"i shouldn't have driven in that weather. i knew it was gonna be raining, that the roads would be slippery-"
"no." rafe said sternly, "look at me."
your eyes moved to look into rafe's steel-blue ones, shimmering with unshed tears, his jaw clenched, and only then did you realize that he was cupping your face in his hands, his touch somehow managing to make you feel warm even in the cold apartment.
"i won't have you blame yourself for something you had no fuckin' control over. evelyn was so wanted, by both of us. she would've been so loved. we would've done anything to protect her, and to keep her safe. if any fucker even thought about hurting her, i would've made sure they'd regret ever being born. but you are not to blame for her not being here."
rafe's hands moved from your cheeks to your hands, the man instead taking your clenched fists into his, letting out a small sniffle, and when he pressed his eyes closed and let out a sigh, a tear rolled down his cheek.
"yeah, you could've not driven in the rain. but i should've been the one to drive you to your mom's, you were eight months along, an insane man would make you drive yourself, or i should've made sure you got home before it was dark, or i should've picked you up myself. there are so many things we could've done differently, but that doesn't mean that either of us is to blame for it."
"i spent so long blaming myself for what happened, but not even for a moment did i blame you. you did everything to keep her safe, and i know it, and i'm sure that she knows it too. you loved her more than anything, and i won't let some drunk driving idiot make you feel like you did anything wrong."
slowly, you opened your fists, half-moon prints on the palms on your hands caused by your nails, and without even realizing, tears had been rolling down your eyes the entire time that rafe had been speaking, the man standing up and pressing a kiss on your forehead that felt like it burnt and would leave a mark that'd be there forever, before he settled down next to you.
a strand of hair was stuck on your cheek, almost glued on there by the tears you shed, the blonde man tugging it behind your ear, his eyes still on you, his hands still cupping yours.
"i don't blame you for what happened, nor do i blame you for pushing me away. but i wish you would've let me in, to be there for you, instead of leaving. so we could've grieved her together."
"i think we should break up, rafe."
"what?" rafe turned to look at you; this wasn't what he had been expecting to hear after two months of silence, "if this is about the baby-"
"i can't do it anymore." you closed your eyes, letting a tear run down your cheek, "i need to leave. start over."
you turned your head to look at him, his words feeling like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders, and even though you tried to find it, there was nothing in his eyes that said that he was lying.
"you don't blame me for any of it?"
your voice was weak and feeble, as if a part of you was expecting him to tell you that he did, but when he pulled you into his embrace, he told you the truth in the best way he knew how to: without saying a single word.
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you didn't know how long you had been in rafe's arms; it felt like hours, while also feeling like the moment had lasted mere seconds, like you two lived in your own bubble. it felt like the last four years hadn't happened, like you had never left.
but when he pulled away from the embrace and looked down at his watch, letting out a sigh, you knew what was coming. the bubble burst.
"i should probably get going." rafe let out an exasperated sigh and rubbed the bridge of his nose before starting to get up off the couch, stretching his long limbs.
"yeah, yeah." you said softly, clearing your throat, trying to act like nothing had happened, like you hadn't gone through every memory you shared while he was just holding you to comfort you, "your girlfriend's probably waiting for you."
rafe stopped in his tracks, turning to look down at you, "girlfriend?"
"shit," you chuckle softly, fidgeting with your hands and chewing on your lower lip, "i guess she's your fiancée, now."
he sat down on the couch next to you while you simply avoided his gaze, not wanting him to read everything you were feeling like he so often seemed to do, but your attempt was unsuccessful, the man bringing his hand to your chin and gently turning your head so you were forced to look at him, his brows slightly furrowed while he looked at you pointedly.
"what girlfriend, or fiancée?"
you didn't know if rafe was acting stupid, or if he was genuinely confused, but you could still remember the woman with him at the jewelry store, the woman who had managed to make him smile, whose back rafe placed his hand on.
"you know," you clear your throat, taking his hand off your chin and turning your head away from him, not wanting him to see the tears brimming in your eyes as you thought about him waiting at the aisle for another woman, "the woman at the jewelry store."
rafe let out a soft laugh, and when you turned your head, facing him, he was nearly keeling over in laughter, his head in his hands.
"what?"
"that-" rafe said inbetween laughs, "that wasn't my girlfriend."
"what?" you mumbled softly, your brows furrowing, "what do you mean, rafe?"
"sorry-" he continued laughing for a while only to be stopped by a soft smack you delivered to his shoulder, before the man took a deep breath, looking at you with a small smile gracing his lips, a sight that still got your heart to flutter, "that wasn't my girlfriend, or my fiancée."
"then... who was she?"
"that was," rafe let out another chuckle as if you had said something foolish, taking one of your hands in his and intertwining your fingers, "wheezie's girlfriend."
you tried processing the words that had left his lips, but no matter what, they didn't seem to make since. "why were you in a jewelry store together? wheezie's only like-"
"wheezie's nineteen." rafe shook his head, "her girlfriend, lucy, asked me to help her pick out a ring. sarah was supposed to go with her, but she had some preschool stuff to deal with relating to jack, so i got stuck with that duty…"
"isn't nineteen a bit... young?"
"it is. but you remember how young we were when we got engaged? or sarah?" a fond smile took over rafe's lips as he turned to look at the fire that was slowly burning out, letting the next words out in a hushed tone. "guess it runs in the family."
"guess so." you say, biting down on your lip, turning to look at the fire with him, your cheeks warm as you felt like an idiot for your assumption.
"i still haven't moved on." rafe said, letting out a breath, "i don't know if i can. i don't think i even want to." you turned to look back at one another at the same time, both of you seeing the same melancholy in the other one's eyes, "there's no one i would ever want to be with other than you."
you took a deep breath, his words ringing through your head as you looked at him, a damp trail running down his cheek was still visible from the tears he had shed, and you took a deep breath, making a decision that you knew would impact the rest of your life.
"me neither, rafe."
you brought your hand to his cheek and felt the tear he had shed under your touch, pulling his face to meet yours until your lips clashed, feeling the exact same that it did four years ago, making you wonder how you ever let it go.
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SIX MONTHS LATER...
you laid on a blanket in the middle of a field of sunflowers, your arms crossed behind your head and your eyes pressed closed, letting the sun beam down your face, warming you up as your bare feet were being tickled by blades of grass.
your daydreaming was interrupted by the sound of footsteps, and you opened one of your eyes to see rafe stumble through the long flowers into the small clearing you'd found, a small chuckle leaving your lips.
"don't laugh at me." he scolded, shaking his head as he landed on the blanket next to you, letting out a soft grunt.
"why not?" you asked, sticking your tongue out at him, your boyfriend gasping in feigned offence, about to quip back at you, only to be stopped by the small, chaste peck you pressed on his lips, even the small display of affection managing to leave him speechless.
as he settled down next to you, you smiled while looking up at the sky, white clouds covering a part of the beautiful icy blue nothingness that was so much like rafe's eyes, your thoughts on her. you took rafe's hand in yours, keeping your eyes trained up while you let yourselves just exist together.
"you're always going to be in my heart, evelyn louise cameron." you said softly as you traced the patterns on your locket, rafe turning his head to look at you, a somber expression on his face as he pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead.
"yeah, she will. and neither of us will ever forget her."
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askshivanulegacy · 3 days ago
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[ARCANE SPOILERS]
I'm waffling with whether I agree with this overall post. 😂
Headcanons are fine. They don't "damage" anything, not even when it's a stereotype. They don't erase anything. They're headcanons and cannot hurt anyone - not even if someone changes them in response to events in the show. After all, people change their orientations in real life. Yes, it might point toward a bias that it's probably good to examine. But it's entirely possible that original Jinx is aro and AU Jinx is not. Sexuality is not a necessary constant across universes or even a necessary marker of core character identity (which is not something we can measure so who the heck knows). We don't know that that interpretation isn't the correct canon. Also, maybe she's 100% straight the entire time! Or maybe she's lesbian and the other guy is trans and never said (like elsewhere in the show). No proof either way, Jinx is just so busy terrorizing people. 😂
As for Viktor: we have no actual proof he's NOT aro, either. Even up to the very end of the show, you can read this relationship as platonic. You can read it as romantic. You can read it as aro. You can read it as sexual. You can read it as asexual. The verdict is ENTIRELY in the viewer's hands. It's my decision as much as yours. There isn't enough canon evidence to confirm one way or the other. No, not even if it's "important" to be queer. If that relationship is platonic to someone, then it's platonic, and that's what's more important. If someone's viewing experience is so far in one direction that they didn't consider anything else, all it means is that, wow, they were super invested. Good for them! It doesn't "say a lot about someone." It says nothing.
There's supposedly a trans character in the show, but we're given no canon evidence for that. Most people will never know it. With no canon evidence, you get to have whatever interpretation you want and it's just as "real" and "important" and "powerful" as any other interpretation. That's the beauty of an ambiguous storyline, and also the frustration (depending on your personal point of view).
At the same time, definitely, people need to know when their interpretation is just a headcanon versus confirmed canon. Too many people act like headcanons are canon, or they act like an obvious interpretation is "weird" when really it's their own behavior that's weird. You can "deny" an interpretation in that you simply do not choose to view something that way, but you still have to acknowledge that other interpretations are possible. You also can't ignore the reality of canon.
Clearly these above posts are all for a very specific interpretation, which is super important to them. And that's fine. It's still just one headcanon, it's not a default, and importance is only in the eye of the beholder. Any other headcanon is just as valid and important.
And nothing is canon unless it's explicitly shown.
Or vice versa, everything is canon until proven otherwise. :)
Hot take and not to be a killjoy or the shipping police but people treating Viktor or Jinx's aroace headcanons as if they were canon is not the revolutionary take people think it is.
Headcanons are always all right but we have to acknowledge that they are somehow damaging when they apply to stereotypes. It might not be the case for everyone but most of the time people unconsciously assume that disability/mental illness=asexuality. These headcanons erase the freedom of attraction from people who are already seen as unable to have sexual/romantic experiences/desires, when it's completely untrue and harmful.
You can headcanon Viktor and Jinx as aroace, but I have seen people changing their minds once Viktor is no longer disabled (s2 with all of his other forms) and Jinx is no longer as mentally ill (alternate universe Powder). And it speaks wonders of how people see these characters.
"I never thought about Jinx being able to feel romantic/sexual attraction until s2!" To believe she's actually only capable of that when she's not "damaged" is incredibly disturbing. Especially since Jinx has always had a bit of a flirty personality too.
"I've always seen Viktor as asexual, I don't know why!" That's fine. You can headcanon him as ace. But I believe there is a reason behind it, most of the time, if for some inexplicable reason the "vibes" of the disabled character are making you think he's ace.
I say all of this being aroaspec myself, by the way. Headcanon all you want but going to people's posts commenting how "it's weird for you that they have romantic/sexual plots when they're clearly aroace" is not a win at all. It's a headcanon, after all, and it should be treated as such, and that's fine. But it also is damaging to spread stereotypes like these.
Of course the disabled character is asexual. Of course the mentally ill character is aromantic. It's not as revolutionary as you might think, tbh.
Fandom is not activism and it's all right to have any headcanons you want BUT some of them are filled with damaging stuff and perhaps we should look into ourselves more before treating these assumptions as something canon.
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heartfullofleeches · 1 day ago
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What are Remmy/Sammy/Liu/Carnis/Clem/Aspen/Blacksmith doing for thanksgiving?
Also happy thanksgiving! I hope you’re feeling better and in less pain!
Remmy:
Prior to the date, he's insisting to his folks they don't need to drop by for a visit. They're both so busy with their own lives, and there's a certain someone he'd like to spend at least one Thanksgiving alone with to enjoy that quiet, domestic bliss before his family bombards them with a million questions about their future together.
"My parents couldn't come out this year... You wanna maybe stop by? I'll prepare something just for the two of us and if things feels a little lonely we can set the table with family.. Other family, I mean. The dolls... Does that sound too silly?"
Sammy:
Would sooner hole himself up for another sleepless night in the funeral home than spend the holiday with his family, but they always managed to wear him down- Possibly due to the venue being closed, but who's to say. He might be able to skip this years festivities if he has already made plans with someone else. His father would still be the grumpy hard ass he is, but any signs of wedding bells in the future and his mother will send him in your direction with a pie in hand.
Liu:
On holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving, Liu celebrates by donating their time to local food kitchens. They have nobody else to spend the day with before meeting their darling, and if they're completely alone on those days it puts them in a bad headspace. Giving back and helping out their community is another thing that grounds Liu with their humanity as their species typically cares only for themselves/the family it creates.
If their darling is in the picture, Liu halfs their day so they can spend the rest of the night with them warming up the feast they prepared in preparation.
Carnis:
"I'm t-thankful for sweets, and a warm place to sleep, and...and hot baths, and... you... Y-you're at the top of the list,but I t-thought that'd be pretty obvious... by now.."
Carnis has never heard of Thanksgiving- They don't know much about any celebrations beyond their birthday, but that technically can't be called a holiday - not until they meet you anyway. What better way to show their gratitude than to offer their meat- No? Then at least them set the table. They aren't the greatest chef right off the bat, but there must be something they can help you with. They'll get pouty if you attempt to do household chores in their stead.
They get like that any other day too, but how are they supposed to show their appreciation if you take over from them?
Clementine:
"Dinner will be ready in approximately one hundred and twenty... Correction, make that one hundred and fourty five seconds... You would like me to sit you?.. Strange."
Keeps to herself and for a period, actively seems to avoid you. She has lot to do in the kitchen afterall- Certainly isn't grappling with an bothersome emotions over not being your true family whether platonically or romantically. That would be ridiculous.
Aspen:
It's not a holiday he would celebrate on his own, but he with take whatever excuse he can muster to prepare a big meal for his spouse. Prods his darling for cherished memories of events past. While his own remains a secret, Aspen lives for the remnants of darling's life before they became one.
There are some traditional Thanksgiving foods that he does not fancy, but he will make for darling if he is a fan. Scolds them if they dare bring anything store bought into his kitchen, but if darling is sneaky enough later that evening they'll find him scarfing down a can of cranberry sauce.
Blacksmith:
"You required one of these feathery creatures, did you not? I can remove its head if the stare of its soulless eyes offends you."
Gods in their time held their own traditions, but even then Blacksmith rarely had the grace to be apart of the festivities. It's a great honor for you to share this holiday with them, and he will do everything in his power to be the model guest. It will try to be on their best behavior for you, but there are no guarantees.
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ravenlly · 2 days ago
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TSAMS, LAES, and EAPS Celestials As Pokemon Types
I got the idea to post this OVER A MONTH AGO but was too lazy. Anyway I thought it would be fun to go over what Pokemon types I think the TSBS celestials would be if they were Pokemon. I’ll explain my points! I’m thinking of making another about what existing Pokemon species they’d be, what teams they’d have in their party, or what training type they’d specialize in! Anyway, enough yapping, enjoy!
Sun: Normal/Fire- I chose normal for Sun because he isn't someone who wants to be powerful and is one of the more down-to-earth characters who doesn't see himself as ultra-powerful. However, he does mess with magic and he has the ability to use it to shoot fireballs so I decided to give him fire typing as well. Plus that also suits him considering he is an animatronic sun.
Moon: Dark- I just think the dark-type suits him due to him being a night-themed animatronic. Plus he is intelligent and perceptive and dark-type Pokemon are also often perceptive.
Lunar: Electric/Fairy- Fairy because of how he looks and his innocent appearance and electric due to his abilities. He has the ability to control all weather but obviously lightning is the one he chooses to use the most. I was considering adding dark due to him due to him recently acquiring negative star power but I decided to keep it as electric/fairy instead.
Earth: Grass/Fairy- Grass because of her being a nature-themed animatronic who also loves nature. You would think I'd choose water given that part of her planet design has water but I chose fairy because of her pretty appearance and kind personality. Plus she likes fairies and stuff like that so it really does suit her.
Solar: Normal- I decided to put normal since he's one of the characters who is the most sane and levelheaded out of the entire shows. I was considering making him a ghost type or adding that to him since he did die but this makes more sense to me. I also briefly considered fire due to him being sun-themed and orange and because of his canon arm but that didn't make sense to me since I don't want to base it off appearance for the most part and he no longer has the canon arm.
Nexus: Dark/Poison- Another one that's pretty obvious. Dark due to his personality, his usage of dark star power, and because he is a night-themed animatronic. Poison also because of negative star power essentially being a poisonous substance.
Eclipse: Dark/Ghost- Pretty straightforward. Dark due to his grouchy, lonesome personality and ghost because he has died and come back to life so many times.
Ruin: Psychic- This was a tough one. I didn't know whether to make him dark or psychic and I thought combining the two wasn't probably the best idea. I would've chosen dark due to all the trauma he has gone through and the dark things he's done for the greater good but I decided to go with psychic instead! He's extremely intelligent and aware of what's going on around him a lot of the time. He is also perceptive of emotions and he seems to know how things are going to go a lot of the time. I thought psychic was suitable for him! Plus we already have so many dark types here lol.
Jack: Fighting/Steel- I chose fighting for him because he is super protective, loves to fight, loves weapons, and was ultimately made to be a weapon. I chose steel because he has steel claws and other steel body parts that count as weapons.
Dazzle: Ghost/Fairy- Dazzle's is pretty straightforward as well! Ghost because she is a dead child. Fairy because she is a very adorable little thing and fairy Pokemon are known for being the most cutesy type.
Bloodmoon: Dark/Fighting- This one is pretty straightforward. Dark because his interest is very dark and evil. Fighting because he loves to fight everything. It was pretty easy to choose a type for them.
Dark Sun: Dark/Dragon- Even though he sees himself as a normal Sun, his interests and personality say otherwise. I chose dark because his thoughts and the things he has done are very, very dark. Dragon because he has a big wither dragon he seems to have control over (it's obvious what trainer type I'll assign to him when I post that lol).
Solar Flare: Fire/Steel- I wasn't going to make any based on their looks alone, I swear, but Solar Flare's "rays" look more like fire. It looks more like a hairstyle than the rays actual Daycare Attendant models have (sorry, Sun). But yeah it looks so much like fire I can't ignore it. As for the steel type, I basically gave him this type because he is one of the most robotic characters in the series since he didn't get to grow and develop much before his death so I thought that type fits him.
Killcode: Dark/Grass- I think KC would be a dark-type because he was originally made to, you know, kill things which is a pretty dark thing to do and makes him fit right into that category. I think post-death-loving KC would be a grass type as well because of how connected he was to nature and kindness (which go hand-in-hand a lot in stories if you think about it).
Lord Eclipse: Psychic- This is an Eclipse that got a star that gave him the ability to do anything and see everything in his universe. It only makes sense for him to be a psychic-type!
Servant Sun: Ghost- I bet I surprised you with this one, didn’t I? It's basically because Lord Eclipse had the habit of killing him and bringing him back to life over and over again. He's much different than normal (our canon) Sun is at the moment so that's why he isn't a normal-type. He is a shell of his former self and he's been killed and brought back to life a lot so that's my reasoning for him being a ghost-type!
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montanamp3 · 1 year ago
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ylsgib spoilers in the tags
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pov: you are about to get haunted
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aceshigh10987666 · 2 days ago
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No one needs to be looking at the dumpster fire that is the medical literature but those assholes started this one. The researchers have always excluded Klinefelter and Turner syndromes from (the three letter acronym they insist on using instead of intersex) designation even though they're obviously variations on sex chromosomes (X instead of XX for Turner, XXY instead of XY for Klinefelter) because they seemed to reliably correspond to a given gender.
Meaning, while most intersex variations appeared to be a bit of a toss-up on whether the child would grow up to identify as male or female (god forbid an intersex person doesn't stick to the binary), the researchers found that people with Klinefelter's reliably (according to their research) grew up to identify as male and people with Turner Syndrome reliably grew up to identify as female.
In their eyes, this didn't pose the same "horrible" crisis of not knowing which gender to "recommend" that a parent raise a kid as. Each was simply a syndrome that only happens to one of the two (binary, according to them) sexes. The same would be true for PCOS and hypospadias. In their minds, this was the same as only men having prostate cancer and only women having endometriosis.
The other intersex variations were more disturbing to them because these break the binary from the researchers' points of view. They didn't have the safety of feeling like they knew which gender the kid was going to grow up to be, so this was an entirely different category.
It never was, to the researchers, a matter of whether sex characteristics had varied from the norm. It was about how easy it would be to force these kids into the binary. Kids who seem to reliably grow up to be the gender that corresponds to their variation are kids who have a "disease" with an obvious goal, medically speaking: to make a girl with Turner's or PCOS function as much like other women as possible, and same with boys with Klinefelter's or hypospadias. They didn't have to deal with the embarrassment of having a kid grow old enough to tell them that the gender they'd been coercively assigned was wrong.
I say embarrassment here not because I think these bastards have any shame, but because they don't like being proven wrong, and that is what happened when David Reimer and others (mostly intersex children born with ambiguous external genitals and surgically altered to appear female) grew up to say that they were male. That forced the researchers to at least admit that they couldn't know for sure which gender the kid would grow up to be.
But they still feel secure in the idea that someone with Turner's or PCOS will grow up to identify as female and that someone with Klinefelter's or hypospadias will grow up to identify as male, so these are not categorized as (three letter acronym the intersex community has repeatedly asked them not to use). And the TERFs gleefully have decided that the researchers are the experts and consider that to be the ultimate truth on who is and isn't intersex.
will genuinely never understand how terfs essentially got out a megaphone and yelled “ummm intersex people said they don’t wanna be included!!! they said that they’re deformed and disordered freaks who should be fixed, not celebrated!!! they actually said that!!!” and the queer community at large bought into it
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britneyshakespeare · 7 months ago
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around 6 o'clock (east coast u.s. standard time) some guy from fucking australia, with no mutual friends obviously, friend- and message-requested me on facebook saying he hoped i didn't mind the add, but "you came up in my recommended and are the cutest ginger i've ever seen." and it like literally gave me chills because holy hellllll, how the FUCK did this guy find my profile? i have no public posts; i hardly ever comment on public posts; i don't post in large, active groups; etc etc etc etc so it creeped the FUCK out of me. sometimes fb puts ppl w no mutual friends in my "people you may know" but, creepily enough, they often are people i... know, if not have some sort of mutual connection with? like they might be old classmates or friends of friends creating new profiles (so no mutual friends yet), etc. and this is true for ppl who also don't have info on their profile saying they live in/near my hometown, went to my school at some point, etc. like THAT is very creepy how meta somehow knows that. but this guy from australia i am absolutely sure i have no connection to whatsoever. WHY WOULD I???? i have no connection to australia at all other than a couple of mutuals i have on here.
so anyway i took a screenshot of the message and showed it to my friends cuz i was freaking out about it and needed to get that off my chest and one friend was like "why dont you block him" (me reading that 4 hours later) and im like you know what i didnt think it was necessary but not a bad idea. and i go to check the message request and the message was unsent, and he also deleted the friend request. lmaooooo. maybe his girlfriend found his phone
#tales from diana#i dont understand why men w absolutely no acquaintance w a woman whatsoever will message her like hey youre cute#WHY???#and it was very obviously like a real profile. like the cover photo was from 2017 and it was a concert photo#it was not like a bot that somehow knew i had red hair or something.#in fact i just about never get message requests from bots on fb. that's more than i can say for tumblr!#i only interact w ppl i know; like i said; when i see an obvious spam bot on a friend's post or out in the wild i always report it#like my facebook profile is very clean and safe i can't stress this enough. it's responsible. it's HINGED#i am occasionally unhinged on here but on fb i am completely and always fully on the hinges (as far as they know)#wheeeeere. the FUCK. did he FIIIIND MEEEEEE#i also don't usually get messages like that from men i don't know. whether they're complete strangers or like loose acquaintances#we all know the story of woman/femme-presenting person getting a weird message calling us pretty/asking us out or whatever#from a person we don't know. that HAPPENS but it's not like it's a daily occurrence. can't remember the last time that happened to me tbh#makes me wanna jump outta my skin. so fucking weird#btw when i say 'i wonder if his gf found his phone' thats not me saying he has a gf i have no idea#but it's such a sketchy dude thing to do to message someone like that. like what thrill do you get out of sending it 2 ppl u'll never know?#beyond just my own discomfort i do not even remotely understand their side of the exchange. what is ur goal? to... flirt? go away!
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faradaykay · 2 years ago
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being aroace is crazy bc sometimes it's like. whoo yay i have such a wider perception of relationships that's so cool yay!!! and sometimes it's like. i hate this it sucks
#squishy talks too much#i love my identity as aroace. but like#i am tired of being misunderstood#i wish i didn't have to go on social media and see people saying aroace identities and relationships aren't real#i wish i didn't have to go on aroace posts and see allo people say shit that is just straight up insensitive in the comments lol#i wish i didn't have to simplify my identity when people i don't know well enough ask bc they're not gonna understand if i tell them i'm#aro and a lesbian. sometimes people don't even understand asexual and lesbian#some people don't even know aro and ace are both separate things. some people don't know there is aroace at all#and like i don't mind when they're nice and they're respectful upon me explaining but it's like. can we please acknowledge aroace people#just as a whole. to the point where i don't have to consistently explain even the *very basic basics* to people both queer and not queer#and i wish i never personally had to argue with people about whether my aroaceness is valid or not#like. people have told me my identity and other aroace identities are fake DIRECTLY and DEBATED me on my OWN FEELINGS#like it's fuckin high school english or sum. it's insane#and i wish i could look at the list of Options when it comes to relationships and like#not want to choose 'none of the above but also not nothing in general'#and. i'm just tired#WAIT I FORGOT ONE MORE#i wish people would have aroace hcs for characters that aren't just#The Token Obvious Character To Call Aroace#i wish allo people would see us as more than a few repetitive and tired stereotypes#and i wish close relationships in fiction would be seen in aroace contexts#okay that's seriously it sorry for hater-ing on main
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protobrieile · 5 months ago
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ooooooo i am feeling particularly riled up about marginalized community infighting today
#i just saw a string of posts addressing people trying to argue over which kinds of trans women are 'allowed' to experience misogyny#and that somehow trans women are 'privileged' bc they have more media rep (despite the vast majority of it being awful and stereotypical)#i just. you understand that trying to find bounds for these labels unhelpful right. like you know that it's literally detrimental right.#do you people understand that trying to prescribe who is 'allowed' to feel oppressed is like. just plain evil. it helps nobody in any way.#trans women experience extreme societal oppression regardless of their ability to pass. trans men might experience different forms of it#but the fact of the matter is that all trans people are looked down upon by a very large portion of society. they ALL experience oppression#and they ALL need as much support as possible within their community and without. you do not get to decide how another person feels hurt.#if you have a problem with how someone ELSE names THEIR OWN PAIN. you need to look within yourself for why that is#a more personally relevant example is the whole 'people faking autism/did/whatever are taking away resources from those who really need it'#1. if the person is indeed 'faking' a particular disorder they still need help. healthy and secure people don't aspire to fake disorders.#2. it is not up to you to decide whether someone else is 'deserving' of help. these things vary so much and look foreign to you. that's ok.#3. why tf are we blaming people for 'stealing resources from those who need it' when the clear and obvious problem is#WHY ARE THERE NOT ENOUGH RESOURCES TO HELP EVERYONE WHO NEEDS IT. Why do people feel like they have to fake a serious disorder to get help.#and this idiotic 'well until that happens they need to stop' bullshit is so fucking distractive. You're wasting your time trying to decide#who needs help and who doesn't when you could be devoting it to volunteering and doing research and putting pressure on the system. come on#if you really feel as passionate about the matter as you claim to then you need to get off your fucking high horse and help fix things.#GOD DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN it just fires me up. im not even mad im just like. Please fucking look outside the lens of 'socially acceptable' and#understand that if push came to shove you would be kicked to the dirt by the system too. no one gets anywhere by putting everyone in boxes#anyway.
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nocherryblood · 1 year ago
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May I add: living with chronic anything.
Sometimes people with chronic conditions do everything they can to avoid making symptoms worse, or to manage their existing pain. Creams, meds, long medical treatments, etc. Sometimes it's long and monotonous, and people are still in pain afterwards. Sometimes it's more manageable.
Sometimes, people with chronic conditions might not want to do that. Sometimes they just want to carry on as they are. Maybe it's health risks, or monetary reasons, or it's just not worth it. Sometimes people just don't want to do it, full stop.
Chronic conditions are chronic for one reason: even if they come and go in bouts, even if they're "not that bad"... they don't go away. Sometimes they remain forever, sometimes they may go away. But either way, you will have them for a significant portion of time.
Some people have cures and medicine that helps them to live as uninterrupted as possible, some don't- whether it's access to funds to get it, or because there literally just isn't something like that out there in the world, or maybe it's too risky. Sometimes you can be cured of one thing and it causes another, or it can come back, or, even if your main symptoms are gone, you may be left permanently affected by what the condition did to your body.
Some people have low pain or needs- this doesn't mean they're "overreacting" or "being too dramatic". Pain, even on a low scale, can be absolutely debilitating over a prolonged period of time. Sometimes, medical specialists can get very temperamental over this- personally, my conditions always get missed on 95% tests even if the markers to indicate I have them are there, so the specialists are very reluctant to give me help at first because they don't understand how much my pain affects my life until I prove to them that that help supports me to try to carry on as best as possible. This meme pretty much sums it up (for those who are confused, π, or, pi, is a number that never ends- the calculation for it has been going on for hundreds upon hundreds of years and we're still nowhere near the end seemingly):
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On the other hand, some people experience extremely high pain levels and/or are severely affected by their chronic conditions, so much so that it limits them from doing a majority, if not all, of their daily life activities. Some can manage with a carer or assistant, some cannot. That doesn't make them "useless" or "unworthy" or "lazy". They are valuable as all humans are to each other, no matter whether or not they can work "like everyone else" to fulfill that cruel, uncaring, devaluing shitshow of modern expectations of an adult or not. Human decency and care for each other shouldn't ever be associated in the slightest with output or ability.
Sometimes, people's conditions are "intrusive" and/or affect other people's lives (e.g. family becoming carers or assistants, needing more support, being unable to control impulses or body functions) and whilst, yes, sometimes they can take effort to deal with by people on the outside, the person themselves is not incontrol of their condition and complaining 24/7 about it to them will just make them feel like crap. Contrary to popular belief, many people with chronic conditions are actually extremely aware of the effect of their condition on themselves and especially others, and are constantly overcompensating for it and putting so much effort into dampening it down just to make it more "palatable" for others. You don't need to tell them what they already know- if something's really affecting you, maybe come up with a realistic way to help before you ream off about how much something they're having to deal with is annoying you.
Please, don't expect someone to move mountains if you're not going to give them the rope.
And the final point I'm going to make is... please, for the love of your own compassion, sometimes there are people who are tired of having to constantly have to avoid triggers or irritants (e.g. with skin conditions), and want to allow themselves some semblance of being able to live like fully non-chronically affected (i.e. not living with a chronic condition) people for a while.
Concern is a lovely thing to have, but sometimes, people just want to have a bit of a break, y'know? I understand if there's concern about someone continually, severely harming themselves with their actions (i.e. eating an allergen they're highly allergic to, or something that could seriously harm them long-term)- of course, speak to them or try to empathise with them and then bring up your concerns, or come up with something alternative for them.
But if it's a short-term thing? Just let me have this one thing, please- my mental health needs it too. Don't judge me for wanting to have one long night out even if I'm chronically exhausted or easily get overwhelmed. Don't judge me if I have chronic skin conditions but want to have one nice perfume or pretty bath even though I'll be barely able to tolerate clothes in the morning. Don't tell someone they're dumb because they want to take a walk even if they may not be able to keep moving for long. I, and they, can regulate ourselves- we know the risk vs. the reward and sometimes you just want to do "normal" things for once.
Just... please. We're not defined by our conditions, but it doesn't mean we're not constantly affected by them too. They're a part of us, they're not always a welcome part of us, but they're there and we have to deal with them. Just please don't forget: just because we seem happy or fine, doesn't mean we can't be in pain.
when u go to write a mentally ill person in ur story you are presented two options. the first option is to write your mental illness realistically as you actually experience it with all the ups and downs and people who are like you will resonate with it and feel seen. except every person who reads instagram infographics on mental health that uses the phrase narcicisst for anyone who does anything that crosses them and unironically call themself a dark empath will call you scary and tell you that youre demonizing mentally ill people
the second option is to lie and write inspiration porn for those people to get hard to
#stuff im nervous to write: a list.#1. autism/ocd tics. whenever it's mentioned irl ppl say “you don't have tourette's(!!)”...no i dont! I'm talking about AUTISM/OCD tics 🫠#2. “High-functioning” (for lack of better term) characters that can't/don't want to mask. irl I'm scolded for “acting more autistic”#2. and it hurts. first bc im not “acting” it's just trying to let my body carry out all the random little impulses i get and also bc “more#2. autistic“ (which isn't a great term anyway) is fucking cruel to use an insult. the people you think of as ”more autistic“ are people.#2. they gave thoughts and feeling too BC they're HUMAN. regardless of whether people know you're insulting them doesn't change what the#2. underlying message you're trying to say with that “more autistic” line.#3. autistics who react to stimuli in different ways. some ppl flap theur hands some dont. some vocalise but can control it some dont. some#3. have meltdowns and shutdowns and some dont. pls dont come to me and say “wait why couldn't [character] just say beforehand that”#3. they needed space or time out?“ is an example. it's okay to be curious- good even. but framing your questions in a way as to#3. blame someone for their actions especially when sometimes things happen sudden or without warning.#4. long-term chronic things. e.g. depression- ppl say you must wanna not be here to be depressed.#4. well no actually depression can also be when you feel empty or like everything is shallow or you can't comtrol anything.#4. wanting to hurt yourself isn't a deciding factor of depression. sometimes you just feel... tired. like a cloud over your heart. for years#4. skin issues- irl ppl acting up when i use something that i know is going to irritate my skin. not bc they care it will hurt. but bc it's#4. their moral mighty high ground. i know it's obvious to avoid irritants. but sometimes idc bc I've gone over a decade without and i would#like to indulge myself in something as simple as a bubble bath or a nice fabric for ny clothes thank you very much.#4. chronic migraines- ppl when i tell them i have a headache: “again!?!? ffs just take some meds” me- “thanks 👍🏼”#4. chronic anything tbh. sometimes when you've lived with something for long enough you want to have something nice once in a while#chronic illness#chronic pain#long post#chronic condition
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the-ellia-west · 5 months ago
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HOW TO WRITE ROMANTIC ATTRACTION FOR DUMMIES
For anyone who wants to learn, (especially aro/ACE, aspec, ect.)
Requested by the lovely @darkandstormydolls
Alrighty! Welcome back or welcome to my blog! I'm dipping my toes back into the category of posts that gained me my exposure!
So if you're here, you want to know how to write romantic attraction/romance!
Strap in and let's begin!
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(Pls spread this to people you think would benefit from seeing it, or anyone who requested it bc I forgot, ANY ASPECS)
Step one -
Your characters must admire one another at the beginning, Romantic feelings usually do not present themselves as obvious until you really think them through, meaning your characters may not notice they have a crush until it's too late
These are general statistics and light stereotypes. So feel free to not use this tip:
Male characters usually tend to notice physical things first, like body shape, hair, skin, clothing, the way their lover moves, ect
And Female Characters Generally tend to notice more small things and personality-based traits first, like their lover's humor, speaking mannerisms, shifts in expression, ways they fidget, emotion in their voice, ect.
And someone who is in love will generally show more interest in this particular person's movements, actions, words, and anything in general.
Step 2 -
The character will show more interest in sharing their love language with their lover/crush
Physical touch - People with physical touch love languages may want to hold hands, cuddle, hug, or just lean on their crush whenever they are close to them moreso than they want to with others
Gift giving - Gift givers will want to get more gifts more often for their crush, probably thinking of them whenever they see little trinkets or wanting to get them big gifts for special occasions or signs of appreciation
Acts of Service - Acts of service people will offer to do extra favors and a bunch of extra stuff they don't have to do twice as much as normal
Words of Affirmation - Flattery, they will generally flood their crush with kind words and compliments
Quality time - Quality time people will want to spend time with their crush at almost every turn, and when they want company, will turn to their crush first
Step 3 -
After a while, these urges while become very prominent and more noticeable to the person having them
They may find themselves fantasizing about their crush or having them show up in their thoughts more and more, feeling nicer and happier when they're around, or when they're thinking about them
Smiling when they think about them, cutsey little fluff thingies like that
A crush is essentially: I want to date that, I want to be near that always, I want to marry that, I want that to snuggle me (or other love languages)
Or in simpler terms: if that asked me out, I would say yes (or at least want to say yes if your character is in denial)
Step 4 -
The character's urges to be close to this person grows strong enough that they do smth about it, whether prompted by another character. Or they just don't know I how to not anymore (like when you wanna eat candy and you don't want to, but you do anyway bc I JUST NEED THE CHOCOLATE OKAY?)
(Or for Aro/Ace, garlic bread)
People who are in love are generally very prone to be all dreamy and poetic and VERY EXTREMELY BIASED towards their crush
Then Yada Yada they kiss & shit
You're welcome, BYEEEEEEEE 👋
Happy writing!
Love you! Thanks for reading, And Ghost Tumblr Mother says go drink some water and have a snack, you've earned it, and you are beautiful <333
Have a good day! :]
@blue-kyber @thisisntrocket @cosmolumine @i-do-anything-but-write @paeliae-occasionally
@supercimi @the-letterbox-archives @sunglasses-in-the-bentley @vyuntspakhkite-l-darling @artsandstoriesandstuff
@corinneglass @wyked-ao3 @urnumber1star
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greentypewriters · 1 year ago
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i wonder if i will ever be able to write anything i think is good
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ozzgin · 2 months ago
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I was 100% thinking of the Shinsengumi when the brainrot struck, but let us assume a more generic, unnamed circumstance for this. Random, uh, elite group of swordsmen working for the shogunate in the Edo period. Here's the awkward, horny himbo I had previously mentioned. Content: female reader, historical setting, crossdressing, NSFW
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Yandere!Captain commands his group with an iron grip. Many people in the Capital know his name, whether it's fellow warriors or petty merchants, and not without reason. His unmatched skill with a sword had even reached the ears of the court, and he was quickly appointed as the head of a newly formed group of samurai meant to maintain order in the city.
As if keeping hot-blooded thugs under control wasn't enough, he is now stuck with an even bigger issue: you.
"We can't have women in here", he declares with a grimace.
"I can pretend", you counter stubbornly, pulling your hakama pants up by the sash, almost in an act of defiance. "In fact, I don't see any woman here. I came to apply."
Yandere!Captain’s reputation does not only revolve around his intimidating strength. Among his underlings, he is known for being completely and utterly uninterested when it comes to women. Will he join his group for drinks after a long day of work? Absolutely. But that’s where the fun stops. When the others begin to slip away with smiling courtesans, he remains at the table with a somber countenance. It is a running joke that nothing can deter this man from his duty.
Thus, your presence at the headquarters should make no difference. He had to begrudgingly accept that you spoke the truth when you'd said you can handle a sword. It's not uncommon for women to keep a small tanto underneath their obi for additional protection, but your knowledge doesn't stop there. You arrived with your own katana and backup wakizashi, swiftly proving their worth upon your first city round when you slashed the arm off a street hooligan.
Well, that's one less worry for the captain. Except, to his great shame, it's not as simple as that. He is the only one aware of your secret, which means that he is the only one available outside of working hours. He was terrified to discover the hesitation in his hands when bandaging your ribs after a stabbing incident, or the halt in his step when he happened to find you switching to a night gown. Oh, how deplorable! Have his morals crumbled into nothing? His latest perverted thought nearly caused him to draw a blade across his stomach.
It is with this faltering confidence that he greets you before the bath one evening.
“You don’t have to do this”, you tell him. "I can wait until you're done."
His struggles haven't escaped your observant eye. You were initially amused by his rather obvious awkwardness; then, a certain idea insidiously made its way into your mind, impossibly tempting: for how long could he keep this façade?
You find yourself going out of your way just to tease your poor captain, perhaps secretly hoping he'll soon break down and give in to his yearning.
“They will become suspicious if you never join us. I do not care for your nudity. Undress at ease”, he says, throwing away his own towel and lowering himself into the hot water. “Get in whenever you want.”
If he insists.
You nonchalantly follow suit, sitting across from him with your arms resting against the rocky edge of the hot spring. You can tell his eyes have wandered involuntarily. His face is red, and he’s wearing a humiliated frown.
“You’re awfully quiet, Sir.”
His lips are pursed indeed. The tall man shuffles briefly, avoiding your gaze. A smirk crosses your features as you decide to approach him.
"In fact, I'd go as far as you say that you're in dire need of help."
To your surprise, he doesn't protest when your hands stray to his lower half, feeling up and down his erection. The small grunts escaping his mouth encourage you to pick up the pace, now equally aroused.
Soon, you feel his heavy arm wrapping around your waist, forcefully throwing you out of the water and onto the cold ground. You open your mouth to complain, but it's quickly shut back by his hot lips, suckling and biting in a desperate hunger to have you.
“It’s improper for a subordinate to take the lead”, he finally says in a low, breaking voice.
He can only hope no one else decides to use the hot springs, though that’s as far as his concern currently goes. He’s much too preoccupied with other pressing matters, holding onto your folded legs for support as he thrusts into you in a depraved, delirious need. His movements are jerky and erratic, with an almost predatory glimmer in his eyes. You wonder how often he imagined this happening. All of his shame and guilt, coming undone at once.
Days later, during one of the hangouts, you find him whispering to one of the courtesans.
“What, you suddenly have a taste for women now?” you question discreetly, unable to hold your tongue.
You’d hoped to be on the receiving end of any future lust-driven gestures from the captain, not some common worker.
He appears to hesitate, twiddling his thumbs and glancing away.
“I was just…asking how you properly please a woman”, he finally confesses.
If he’s going to continue fucking his subordinate behind everyone’s back, he may as well do a good job while at it.
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[More Original Works] | [Yan!Swordsman Concept]
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iceunhie · 4 months ago
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latibule.
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premise. in which all too many intrusions come in the form of one particular shadow guard. (or, moze always looks to you to patch him up. inexplicably, you let him do so anyway.)
warnings: gn!reader, pining moze but he's too edgy to know, one kimi ni todoke inspired (?) scene, treating injuries, banter (obviously), probably ooc, feixiao cameo, based off of the new quest, kinda mid writing
notes: not proofread i have no excuse i just like him okay???? inspired by @luvether's mozeqiu/reader fic (i love ur works ☹️) ty @lowkeyren for the chinese help!
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“You're here again, Moze.”
In the wee hours between 1AM to 3AM, it has become a daily occurence for you to tend to Moze's injuries.
He nods. “I'm here.”
Despite having a perfectly (super) capable healer who attends to even the Lady General personally at her behest, you do not know why Moze always ends up at your window of all things during the ungodly hours of the moon's turn, complete with stupid, easily treatable cuts all across his body.
As General Feixiao's Representative Proxy, such work is not your forte—and rarely do you ever employ your few practiced arts in healing; the result often clumsy and sloppy, just enough to treat the few cuts Moze sports.
Still, it has since become routine to patch Moze up, and despite your insistence that he take care of himself more, the ashy haired man never listens, instead ending up at your home. You wonder if he does this on purpose.
Next time, you think, you're never going to open the windowsill for him again.
You open the windowsill further to let him in. Hypocrite, your mind echoes unhelpfully. Great, you must be losing your mind.
“Got into trouble again, hm?”
His expression tells you that whoever he fought wasn't all that—show-off—internally, you roll your eyes. “...Will you patch me up?”
No, your mind tells you, the words are at the tip of your tongue; you're always sneaking in here at night, and making me go through all this trouble.
(Your actions betray a different tune altogether.)
You don't know when Moze started to make you his personal healer despite Jiaoqiu in the vicinity; a moment of worry led to one thing, and now here you are, Moze's budget Jiaoqiu at home. The thought makes you laugh to yourself. Compared to the foxian, your skills could be described as subpar at best.
(Complaining to your own Lady General was no use. Incredulously, Feixiao believed that it was because—
“You're special.” Feixiao says with a grin. “Is it not obvious that it is because he wishes to see you?”
“What?” Looking at her, your voice is a tired drawl of resignation. “....My Lady, it seems your recent exposure to the Luofu's romance novels have dulled your judgement. Shall I call for Jiaoqiu?”
“Wha- Hey, don't call me senile!” Your Lady General deadpans, “Anyway, I'm telling you, Moze likes you!”)
“Why is it always me?” you grumble under your breath, though it doesn't escape Moze's ears.
It's good that you don't expect an answer; if Moze had to be honest, he doesn't know why he always goes to you either.
“Why wouldn't it be you?” Moze says, not missing a beat.
Your cheeks warm, the heat crawling up your neck from his audacious words. Jeez, he really doesn't know his effect on people, did he?
“...Not to mention, Jiaoqiu is asleep.”
Never mind. “Know the shame.”
“I don't wish to disturb Jiaoqiu as well.”
“Oh, so you see it fit to bother me but don't bother with Jiao-gege?”
“You'll live.” Moze blinks. Frowns. “Wait, did you just call him... gege?”
You raise an eyebrow. “Yes, what about it?”
“Since when were you two so close?”
“Mm, since a certain guard stops by my home at twilight hour?”
“....”
Sighing, your hands are nimble against the bandages, looping the white cloth in your palm and dabbing at the corners of Moze's face, gentle. Up close, his face is all sharp edges and harsh lines. Whether he notices how you gulp when you approach closer, swiping the cloth along his lower lip, he holds his tongue, for fear of disturbing whatever it was, permeating between the two of you like a thick haze, afraid of destroying the peaceful silence.
He watches, instead, as you scrub away the little bit of blood on his cheek.
You're talking; something about him being too reckless, taking care of himself more, yet he finds that he can't catch a word of what you're saying, focusing only on one thing.
Your hands are warm.
Heat creeps up to his neck like coiling vines, twisting his stomach, all because of you. Moze's heart thrums, breath stolen away—you're so close, it's unbearable—and he fights to keep himself even remotely neutral. All because of you.
“Moze?”
What are you doing to him? Why does he always come back to you? Is he sick?
“You're burning up.” You press your hand against his neck; and funnily enough, the thought of leaning into your touch crosses Moze's mind—it's maddening how much he wants to do so.
Blinking once, Moze looks to find you pulling away, and before he can think of it, his fingers wrap around your wrist in an iron grip, carefully maintained distance discarded.
“...?”
“Ah, wait, it's fine— Just—” don't pull away.
What?
Moze coughs. “Just continue.”
The night's breeze flows throughout your home; the chuang kou is wide open, with Moze looking less like General Feixiao's most trusted aide and more akin to an obedient dog. It's humiliation, Moze thinks—but when it was you, his dignity could be in tatters for all he cares.
Your eyes soften, just a bit, “If you say so.”
Inexplicably, relief assaults Moze's senses like a balm to his soul. Because the idea of being perceived, heard—by you—affects him in a dizzying, confounding way, and he knows not how to cure such an ailment whose only cure is your presence.
And maybe, just maybe, it's why he can never stop returning to you. Let you think him a fool, an idiot—so as long as he ends up at your window, by your side, it's a small price to pay.
“Okay.” he affirms, loosening his grip, (never you, though) finally letting you finish patching him up as you plaster what remains of the white bandages upon his face.
Noticeably, he doesn't let go of your hand.
“Okay.” you echo, and finally, you're finished with your work. The sight of Moze all bandaged up perfectly and finally getting to sleep makes you happier than you should be, the prospect of sleep way too enticing.
“There, all done. Take care of yourself better next time, 'kay?”
He hums, “I'll keep that in mind.”
“You sure you will?”
“Yes.” Moze looks at you, and he looks at you like it would be a sin of the greatest kind to take his eyes of off you; holding your presence in his irises, emulating you deeply onto his pupils, his tendons and his limbs. “I will.”
(How could he ever not listen to you?)
You release him, much to Moze's reluctance—opening the closed chuang kou. The night breeze welcomes Moze, kissing his skin, with the colors of the rising sun beginning to rise, vibrancy in the darkness of the inky night.
“...Moze?” you call, in the corner of your eye, seeing him already putting a foot on the rooftop.
“Jeez, if you wanted to see me that much, just tell me instead of going through all this trouble, really....” you mumble, glad that your back is turned from him, lest he sees the heat dusting your cheeks. You know Moze has probably left, but it was better to be safe than sorry.
Well, you'll bring it up another time, then. Something tells you he'll listen, this time.
This time, you don't ignore the flutter of the butterflies in your stomach.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
(“Jeez, if you wanted to see me that much, just tell me instead of going through all this trouble, really....”
In the darkened corner of shadow, a figure slumps disgracefully with a loud thud. Using a hand to grip the side of the wall, nothing can compare to the burning heat crawling up Moze's skin, positively flushed.
Moze puts a hand to his face, slumping further to a near kneel.
It's warm—just like the ghostly feeling of your hands upon his skin minutes prior.
Maybe he'll take you up on your offer.)
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a/n: sorry for the long sporadic activity :,D this is what a chuang kou looks like btw
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mumza-superiority · 1 year ago
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oh my fucking god
HELLO I JUST MADE A FUN CONNECTION
ok ok ok so it’s already been established that sad-ist’s dream design has a scar across his nose from his duel with techno. and, WITH THE SAME MOVE NONETHELESS, tommy just gave him a big ol slice across the face, as seen in this shot
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anyways, so i was just looking at this shot, pointing and laughing, you know the drill, when i realised.
the scars now make an X.
oh boy hmm it sure would be convenient if there was something and-slash-or someone that had to do with dream and X nah what am i saying that’s crazy. i’m sure this isn’t at all foreshadowing somebody’s rampant god complex. 
:).
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idiotsonlyevent · 2 months ago
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it is completely understandable to be uncomfortable with the sexual assault in dandadan. it's important to discuss how it's framed, whether it's handled poorly, or if it could be been portrayed better. but the number of people - even fans - stating that it is only fanservice, irrelevant, or could be removed is frankly bizarre to for SO many reasons, starting with the fact that this parallel exists.
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the anime made it even more obvious by interpolating cuts from the first scene into the second one.
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i thought this scene showed that momo gaining her powers by believing in her relationship with her grandmother gives her the strength to fight back against what is basically a horrific, much more aggressive and abstract (maybe even absurd?) representation of her shitty gross ex - who was demanding she 'put out' and pay for the love hotel in very first scene.
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while the escalation from one scene to the next is surprising, it's not something that comes out of nowhere. this first scene is meant to be a set-up to what will happen later. it sets the tone, though significantly more lighthearted at this point. it tells you that sex, sexuality, etc. is something dandadan will touch on - though you don't know what the scope and depth will be until later in the chapter.
i cannot recommend this video enough, as it discusses some interesting interpretations of what the serpoians and turbo granny represent in their respective assault scenes, as well as how right now the treatment of both scenes is unfortunately uneven.
more notes about plot and thematic relevance below the cut. spoilers for anime-onlies (up to chapter 8, will probably be covered in episodes 4/5).
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momo was assaulted, and almost cut up by the serpoians, much like the other victims turbo granny appeared around. this is an intentional parallel. turbo granny goes to momo because that is what she does. again, SUPER unclear how that factors into turbo granny's assault of ken, but if we keep the video's interpretation of cynicism in mind, it could be related to that; maybe turbo granny has a cynicism toward men - similar to momo in chapter/episode 1 - and this is why she chose to attack ken. unfortunately, it's still too early to really understand and explain a lot of her motivations.
again, completely understandable to not like how the sexual assault was handled or portrayed, and it's important to keep discussing it. but this is what dandadan does for many different types of trauma and difficult life experiences. this is a huge part of dandadan's identity. if you don't like it, that is fine, but calling the sexual assault 'just fan service' is blatantly untrue.
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