#i don't know exactly how yet because the way i originally thought it might happen (me going to music college) didn't work out

[thebeautifulfantastic]

<3

[hard-core-super-star]

brought you together so nice [W.Maximoff + N.Romanoff]

pairing: dom!natasha romanoff x sub!reader x switch!wanda maximoff

summary: natasha takes care of you until wanda comes back. needless to say, the witch is more than happy about the arrangement you both came up with in her absence.

warnings: SMUT, MINORS DO NO INTERACT -> porn with very little plot but even more feelings; mommy + daddy kink; slightly more established dom/dub dynamics; a dash of pet play (as usual); bondage; gagging; soft domme nat + bratty wanda!!!!; vibrator use [R receiving]; praise + degradation + a dash of humiliation; hair pulling; spanking; aftercare

wordcount: 4.1k

a/n: well, well, well...guess who got too attached to another series? yup, me 😅 these two have taken up more of my mind than i originally thought so here is part three of this little series. i don't have a plan to make another full part, but i might mess around and write a few blurbs here and there. we'll see what happens. anyway, thank you for all your support, especially regarding this little series. i'm thinking of opening my requests back up until the start of the new year so keep an eye out for that ;) [commissions are still more than welcome, though!] okay, i'll stop rambling for now, hope you enjoy <3

[part one | part two]

* * * * * * *

Natasha could be sweet when she wanted to.

That was the first thing you learned after agreeing to become her and Wanda's submissive. 

The rules and details weren't too clear yet, the redhead promising to answer all your questions as soon as the Sokovian came back from her mission. Still, she did what she could to fill in the gaps of your knowledge, allowing you to ask her as many questions as you pleased before showing you, in great detail, what she meant.

Despite the cold exterior you'd learned to love, she was much softer with you than you'd ever imagined. Sure, she was still a mean domme at heart, but she wanted to show you heights of pleasure you'd never experienced before.

And she went to great lengths to guarantee it.

It quickly became clear to you how much she loved impact play. Even outside of play sessions, she would always come up behind you, landing a hard smack to your ass before pulling you into her arms. You didn't mind, even when she did it in front of the others.

(Although Tony did whistle at you guys once and promptly earned himself a punch to the stomach. He laughed it off but made sure to never tease the Widow about her behavior with you again.)

You knew there were a lot of things you didn't know or fully understand, but Natasha always seemed to find a way to make you feel more excited than nervous about it. It was almost funny how quickly her personality changed once she allowed you to see past her walls.

Sure, she was still a little mean and more than a little snarky (which is exactly how you liked her, if you were being honest) yet there was a softer, affectionate, side that started coming out more and more.

She told you it was simply because Wanda wasn't around and she wasn't allowed to "break you in" without her around. Maybe it was a silly excuse perfectly crafted to keep you on your toes, but you didn't really mind.

Well, except because you really missed Wanda.

Being without the witch was harder than you thought it would be, but the Widow kept you busy enough to forget the empty spot beside you in their bed.

Your bed.

That was the second thing Natasha made you learn. 

Yes, you were technically an addition to their relationship, but you weren't an outsider. You never were.

That was the third thing you learned.

Both Natasha and Wanda had their eyes on you from the very beginning. They loved each other, and their relationship made them happier than they could put into words, and yet they always felt something was missing. A third energy to keep them in check. To stop them from getting too rough, too mean with each other. To help remember how to be soft after spending so much time fighting with the world.

It was...strange, but you couldn't deny what they meant to you. The attraction you felt toward them had always been there and after Wanda opened that door...well, let's just say there was no going back.

You didn't understand how real that was until now.

Because somehow, someway, after carrying guilt you didn't even need to have in the first place, you were here.

You were theirs.

You were waking up in their bed with Natasha's arms wrapped tight around your waist.

A shudder ran down your body as the redhead's lips met your bare shoulder, peppering kisses across the skin. "Morning, detka. Sleep well?"

"Yeah," you reply as a smile forms on your face. "You're a fantastic cuddler."

"Shut up," she mumbles. There's a clear lack of annoyance in her words despite her attempts at sounding tough. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Your grip on me begs to differ."

At your response, her hands move to grip your waist, her nails digging into your soft skin. The sensation makes you gasp, your back arching almost instantly. You can feel the redhead smiling against your skin. It hasn't been that long and she already knows your body better than you do.

"Sorry, were you saying something?" She says, taking advantage of your reactions to grind against your ass. "You seem a little distracted."

 It's a bit of a cruel game but it's one she loves to play with you. Truth be told, she loves playing with you, period. You're so different from Wanda, so much more responsive, more honest about your constant neediness.

"I don't know what you're talking about," you mumble, not so subtly grinding back against her.

Just because you were slowly learning the rules regarding your place didn't mean you didn't love pushing Natasha's buttons whenever you could. Which really only happened in the mornings and during aftercare. Those were the only two moments when the older woman allowed herself to be soft with you, to let you see behind the walls she'd expertly put up to keep everyone out. Everyone except you and Wanda, it seems.

Her voice remains low, straddling the border between a tease and a warning. "Is my good girl trying to be a brat?"

Your heart skips a beat at her words. At the mention of being her good girl. Of being hers.

After the rough beginning your relationship had, you never thought you'd be let into her heart in any way. And yet here you are. You're her good girl, her kitten, her darling submissive.

"No..." You trail off, trying to decide whether to behave or push her buttons a little more. Ultimately, your desire to be a little shit wins out. "...Daddy."

Natasha chuckles behind you, her hands moving from your hips and toward your breasts. She gives them a soft squeeze as her thumbs tease your hardening nipples. "Oh, kotenok, you woke up cheeky this morning, huh? You know what mouthing off like that will earn you, right?"

You do know. She's told you many, many times before, usually while she's praising you for being so good for her and drawing out orgasm after orgasm from your overstimulated body.

However, she's never actually acted out any of her warnings. It's a good thing, you know that, and yet you can't stop yourself from wanting to see what it will feel like. To explore what that kind of submission will do to you.

"Yes, Daddy. I know."

She hums before going right back to kissing across your shoulders, nipping at your skin just to get you to arch into her teasing hands. "I see...you want to be punished, don't you? Want Daddy to remind you of your place until there's nothing else inside your mind?"

You're about to reply when you're interrupted by F.R.I.D.A.Y. "Miss Romanoff, Miss Maximoff has asked me to notify you of her return."

Your cheeks flush, even though the disembodied voice can't see what exactly you're up to this morning. At the very least, F.R.I.D.A.Y. is a lot less nosy than Jarvis ever was. Although, if you're being honest, you liked him better before he turned into a robot.

"I'm assuming she'll be at the Medbay for a while?" The Widow replies, her mind no doubt full of the things she'll do to you to pass the time.

"Yes, it seems she'll be there for the next half hour."

"Good. Thank you, Friday."

The AI doesn't reply and you can practically imagine her making a swift exit out of the room, leaving you to face whatever it is that the redhead has come up with.

"y/n..." Natasha purrs, her breath hot against your ear. "I have an idea. Why don't we give Mommy a nice surprise, hmm? Don't you want to be her pretty welcome back gift?"

You're not sure what being Wanda's "welcome back gift" will entail, but you can't deny your curiosity about it. Especially since the witch has no idea what you and her girlfriend have been up to. You have no doubt she has her suspicions, she is a mind reader after all, but it'll still be nice to surprise her.

You agree before you even know what you're doing, and Natasha wastes no time in springing into action.

In a matter of minutes, you go from lying comfortably under the covers to being spread out on your back, your limbs tied to each corner of the bed. You're exposed, vulnerable, and you love every second of it.

Of course, Natasha isn't satisfied with that. No, to top off the pretty sight you make, she places a deep, dark red ball gag between your lips. You shouldn't be surprised since, after all, you did ask for it.

"There we go," the redhead hums appreciatively, her eyes taking in the beautiful sight. "Now, just sit tight, okay, detka? I'll be right back."

You whine instantly, but she pays no mind to you, quickly making her way out of the bedroom and going to look for Wanda. You're not exactly happy about being left alone yet, there's nothing you can do. All you can do is throw your head back in frustration and wait for your lovers to return.

You're not sure how much time goes by, although there's no doubt in your mind that Natasha does her best to draw out their return just to mess with you, but eventually, they make their way back to you.

The sound of the door opening makes you practically vibrate with excitement, your hips wiggling from side to side without thinking.

"Well, would you look at that," Wanda says as she steps further into the room. "Looks like someone was having fun without me."

Natasha follows her in, standing behind her and wrapping her arms around her waist. There's something so domestic about the action that makes your heart clench.

"I had to get her ready for you, darling," the redhead replies as her chin finds the other woman's shoulder. "She looks good, doesn't she?"

"She sure does. I take it you worked out your issues?"

"We came to an...agreement, yes. I couldn't let you have all the fun."

Wanda chuckles, the corners of her mouth quirking up into a fond smile. There's no mistaking the fire in her eyes, though, the desire simmering below the surface. "And you said I was crazy for wanting her to join us."

The Widow grumbles, clearly not quite ready to admit her girlfriend was right. "You're still not off the hook, you let her believe you cheated on me."

"When are you going to let that go?"

"I'm not sure, maybe you should make it up to me."

Natasha's eyes remain on you but Wanda turns around, silencing her girlfriend's complaints with a fiery kiss. All you can do is watch, feeling left out and far too involved at the same time. You're slowly getting used to their competitive antics.

Their kisses turn desperate in nothing short of a few seconds, leaving you far too desperate and needy while you squirm around on the bed. They take their sweet time getting back to you, though, instead letting their hands wander over each other's bodies.

You'd love to complain but you're still gagged so talking is pretty much impossible. More than that...you can't say you're not loving the view. It makes you feel a little dirty, like you're watching an intimate scene you shouldn't be, and it brings a rush unlike anything you've ever felt before.

They know, because of course they know, and your obvious arousal only motivates them to tease you.

Natasha moves first, expert hands reaching for the hem of Wanda's shirt and lifting it over her head in an instant. "I missed you."

"Are you talking to me or my boobs?" The witch replies with a perfectly raised eyebrow.

"I'm talking to all of you."

"Nice save, 'Tasha."

"Shut up."

There's something comforting about the scene in front of you, even as your frustration builds. You've been with them before, but it's different this time. You can feel the change in energy, the easy chemistry that flows between all of you now that Natasha isn't trying to push you away.

"Come on, I think we've teased our good girl long enough," Wanda says, taking the redhead's hand and leading her toward the bed. "Isn't that right, sweetheart? You're feeling a little frustrated, hmm?"

You nod desperately in response, tugging at the rope that holds you down. Your actions only make both of your lovers chuckle.

"Look at her, she's drenched and we haven't gotten started yet," Natasha comments, her eyes trailing up and down your body like a predator assessing its prey.

"I'm guessing this means training's going well."

"She's a quick learner. A bit bratty sometimes, though."

The way they talk about you as if you're not a part of the conversation has you clenching around pure air. It doesn't help that the Widow is so accurate in her assessment of you. You love being submissive, being under their control, but you can't deny how much fun it is to disobey. To push against the boundaries she's set for you, not to defy her but to tease her. Maybe even test her a little.

It's far too fun.

"Is that right, sweetheart?" Wanda asks, even though your body language makes it clear how correct Natasha is. "I thought you liked being our good girl. Because if you don't, well...you know what happens to naughty girls, don't you?"

Of course you know. It was one of the first things the redhead taught you. Sure, the rules and terms weren't too fleshed out yet since Natasha had wanted her girlfriend to be a part of the whole exchange, but she'd gone over most things with you. Rewards, punishments, hard limits, all that stuff.

You're unable to tell the witch that, though, thanks to the gag in your mouth. Your incoherent mumbles seem to entertain her for a few seconds while Natasha sneaks off toward their closet.

Wanda's chuckle cuts through the air. Your attempts at convincing her you've been good clearly amuse her. "I know, baby, I know you like being good. Otherwise, Nat wouldn't be so attached to you."

"I'm not attached," the redhead grumbles.

A month ago, her words would have made your heart drop into your stomach. Now, though, you know she's only playing a part. She has no problem telling you how she feels outside of a scene, but when you're playing, when you're being their pet, she's right back to being mean. Right back to degrading you and humiliating you until you're riding the edge of pleasure and pain.

"Keep telling yourself that, darling."

"Oh, I will."

Their banter is borderline comforting. You've loved spending time with Natasha, but this, being with them and seeing their personalities come together, this is where you thrive.

Well, it's not like you're doing much. Then again, they like you most when you're like this. Vulnerable, at their mercy, and so obviously loving every second of it.

Wanda climbs onto bed with you, crawling over your body until she's hovering over you with a gentle smile that steals all your worries away. "'Tasha's such a liar, isn't she, sweetheart? It's okay, let her act like she's the big bad."

You want to laugh, but it's a little hard when she's leaning down to pepper kisses all over your face. The action is far softer than what you were expecting and it makes your heart soar.

You were ready for a rougher training session, for a trial run meant to show you what you had been missing in the witch's absence. But this? This is really good too.

Wanda continues her loving assault on your skin, trailing kisses down your jaw and toward your neck. You tilt your head back in response, earning a soft giggle muffled against your skin, as she kisses and nibbles all up and down your throat. There's no doubt in your mind that she's littering your skin with hickies and noticeable marks, but you find you really don't mind it.

The witch steals your attention long enough for Natasha to gather a few supplies before making her way over to you. You feel her set a few things down next to you, but you don't get to see what they are. Not that you really mind considering how busy your mind is.

"Stop hogging her attention, that's not very fair."

"It's not my fault you left her so fuzzy-headed. Poor girl didn't even stand a chance, huh?"

You shake your head, a few muffled whines making their way out of you.

Natasha chuckles as she shifts onto her knees next to you. Her hands find their way between you and Wanda's bodies, teasing your skin as she explores the territory she's spent the past few days claiming.

"Oh, please. This is nothing. You should've seen the state she was in last night."

The reminder makes you squirm in your restraints, trying to get closer to them to no avail. You know how desperate you look, how absolutely needy you are, but you can't find it in yourself to care. This is what you had been waiting for. To be completely theirs. To surrender to them and accept everything they were willing to give you. Sure, it was intimidating and yet it felt incredibly right.

"Are you trying to make me jealous?" Wanda responds, working her way down your body, expertly avoiding the areas where her girlfriend is touching you.

"You deserve it. Wasn't this your fantasy?"

"Maybe. It was hers first, though. Isn't that right, detka?"

The change in topic makes you blush. It shouldn't be surprising to hear that the witch had already known about your feelings for her but it's still a little embarrassing. At least she seems to enjoy it.

You nod, your movements slightly frantic and no doubt fueled by the feeling of her lips on your flushed skin. She takes her time dragging her lips up and down your inner thighs as Natasha teases your hardening nipples.

"Such a good little slut. I bet you're already so fuzzy. Just want your cunt played with and nothing else." The redhead distracts you with her words, leaving you completely unprepared for Wanda's continued assault.

You don't hear the thrumming sound of the vibrator coming to life, but you sure feel it against your sensitive clit. Your whole body shudders in response as your hips buck in a desperate attempt to escape the overwhelming sensation.

Your reaction makes the witch laugh and she leans down to press a few more kisses to your thighs. "There you go, that's what I like to see."

Her words feel more like humiliation than praise and yet you can't find it in yourself to care. Not when it feels so good that it borders on painful.

"Excuse you, we were having a little chat." Natasha's tease is coupled with a firm grip in your hair as she tilts your head toward her. "I'll have to train you if you don't fix that attention span, pet."

"Be nice, Nat, it's not her fault she likes me more."

"God, you're such a brat, Maximoff." Her free hand leaves your body to land a sharp smack against Wanda's ass. "I'll put you in your place too, if I have to."

The witch hums in response, very clearly pushing herself back against the redhead's hand. "You know I'd enjoy it."

Natasha spanks her again and the sight has you bucking your hips faster as you search for more pleasure. You let out a string of whines, already feeling yourself on the edge of an orgasm. It's a little embarrassing how quickly you're reaching your limit but in your defense, you've been worked up ever since you woke up. You were bound to lose from the beginning.

"Don't tell me you want to cum already, sweetheart? We've barely gotten started."

You want to defend yourself, but your attempts are instant failures. Natasha seems to get off on how pathetic you sound, though.

"It's alright, kitten, why don't you go ahead and cum for me? Mommy hasn't earned her reward just yet."

Wanda opens her mouth to object but she doesn't get very far since the redhead goes right back to spanking her.

You're not used to seeing the witch in a slightly more submissive position. She always seem to straddle the border between being fully in control and immersed below Natasha's dominance. This change of pace is more than welcome, though.

The vibrator gets pushed harder against your sensitive clit and the pressure sends you over the edge almost instantly. You don't get a chance to warn them, all you can do is give in to the sudden pleasure as your body trembles beneath them.

They're both distracted by the sight of your orgasm crashing into you so suddenly. So beautifully.

"What a good girl," Natasha murmurs appreciatively. "You could learn a thing or two from her, Wands."

"Whatever." You miss the way the witch rolls her eyes since your eyes are more than a little blurry and there's a soft ringing in your ears. "It won't be my fault when she forgets her place, Daddy."

That earns her another spank, but she's too busy moving the vibrator away from your drenched cunt to care. You whine softly at the loss of contact even though you feel far too sensitive to take much more.

Apparently, you look as out of it as you feel because the older women take a few moments to let you catch your breath.

Wanda's hands gently stroke up and down your legs to keep you grounded while Natasha shifts closer, her hands reaching out to undo the ballgag. "How are you feeling, kotenok? Do you want to keep going?"

Your throat's a little dry, but you manage to form a reply. "I'm okay. Just need to catch my breath."

The Widow nods before reaching over to grab the bottled water on the nightstand. She helps you take a few sips of water while Wanda continues to caress your skin, both giving you as much time as you need to recover. It's such a small thing and yet it's a reminder of why you're so attached to them. Why you need them more and more with every day that goes by.

Your relationship with them might have had a bit of a rough start, but you couldn't imagine a better outcome. Couldn't imagine two better people to surrender your heart to.

"Someone's in a romantic mood," Wanda pipes up with a soft smile.

Her words cause an instant response in you and you feel your face grow warmer by the second. "Why are you in my mind right now?"

"Because your thoughts about me are so loud," she replies almost instantly. "Don't look so embarrassed, detka, I think it's cute."

"Shut up," you mumble, momentarily forgetting where you are and what you're in the middle of doing.

Wanda's smile turns slightly dark and her hand comes down against your thigh before you can even think about what you did wrong. "Where'd your manners go, huh?"

The sensation makes you shiver, but Natasha reaches a hand out to stop the witch from smacking your thigh again. "Time out, darling. I don't think we're quite ready to keep going."

You want to argue with her and yet you make no real effort to. As much as you might want to keep going, you can't deny how overwhelming it all was...and how desperate you are for some cuddles.

"Sorry," you mumble.

Wanda instantly shushes you as she uses her magic to undo the restraints keeping you tied down. "Nonsense, you have nothing to apologize for."

The second your limbs are free, Natasha's hands are on you again. This time, though, she merely maneuvers you onto your side so she's able to slide in behind you. The second her arms wrap around your waist, your shoulders let go of the tension they've been holding. 

Wanda wastes no time in joining the two of you, laying down in front of you and reaching up to play with your hair. "Just relax, we have all day to pick up where we left off."

"Don't rush her, little witch."

Natasha's words make you chuckle and you lean forward until you're practically buried in the witch's chest. "I'm okay, guys. I don't break easily."

A beat of silence goes by as they allow you to soak in the afterglow, in the feeling of their embrace.

But the Widow really can't help herself.

"Are you sure? Maybe we should test that out."

Her words are a tease, but none of you can deny your curiosity...or your arousal.

Needless to say, you spend most of the day tangled up in their bed.

Your bed.

With the two women who mean the absolute world to you.

[rootedinrevisions]

Terrified to Lose You Two

Summary: Jake is gone. And you don't know when or if he's coming back. Left to navigate the aftermath of that night on your own, you try to convince yourself it was nothing. But when weeks turn into months, and an unexpected scare leaves you spiraling, it becomes impossible to ignore just how much his absence weighs on you.

Warnings: Mentions of Pregnancy, Pregnancy Scare. Also just a lot of angst and worrying. Maybe mutual idiots with feelings?

Word Count: 3,551

Author’s Note: This took WAY longer than I planned it to. But honestly I hadn't originally planned on this to have a Part 2 but since there was interest decided to see what I could come up with. I know the ending is kind of open ended. I'm not sure i I want to have a Part 3 or not. So I tried to leave it so that this could be the end or there could be more. I hope you all enjoy it and that it ends up being worth the wait. xx

You don’t know how long it’s been exactly. Days blur together when there’s no news. No updates. No messages. 

Just an empty space where Jake should be.

You wake up in the middle of the night, stomach twisted in knots, reaching for your phone before you remember he’s not going to text you.  

Not yet. Maybe not ever. 

And that thought is a black hole, threatening to swallow you whole.

So you keep yourself busy. Work. Exercise. Anything to outrun the restless energy clawing at your ribs.

But your body feels…off. It’s subtle at first. A gnawing exhaustion that sleep doesn’t fix. A vague nausea that lingers in the back of your throat, never quite enough to make you sick, just enough to make food unappealing.

You brush it off as stress. The lack of sleep. The sheer weight of waiting for Jake to come back. Or even just to hear news that he and the others are okay.

Then you check the date. 

Your heart stops.

No. You count again.

No. Your stomach lurches as you double check your calendar, fingers tightening around your phone as if that might somehow change the numbers.

Late. You’re late.

And suddenly, the exhaustion, the nausea, the hollow ache in your chest…it all feels suffocating.

No. No, it’s stress. It has to be stress.

You can’t be. That doesn’t make sense. You’re on the pill. You never miss a dose. You’ve taken it every day at the same time like clockwork.

This isn’t happening. It can’t be happening.

You take a slow breath, pressing your fingertips against your temples. Stress messes with your cycle. That’s all this is. The waiting, the worrying, the exhaustion, it's all too much, and your body is just reacting to it.

You try to shake it off. You try to be rational.

But then the symptoms start feeling more real.

A wave of nausea hits you out of nowhere while you’re brushing your teeth. You gag, barely managing to stop yourself from getting sick. Later, in the shower, the steam makes your head swim. The next thing you know, you're gripping the tile wall, knees nearly buckling, blinking against the sudden dizziness.

Your heart pounds. You breathe through it, shaking your head. It's fine. You just stood up too fast. You didn’t eat enough today. Except you did eat. You had half a sandwich, a protein bar, and a coffee. It wasn’t much, but it was enough. Wasn’t it?

The doubt creeps back in. By the time dinner rolls around, even the thought of food makes your stomach turn. You stare at your favorite takeout sitting on the counter, appetite gone, throat tight.

Panic wraps around your ribs.

No. No, this isn’t happening.

You can’t tell Jake because he’s not here.

You can’t tell anyone else because they’re all gone too.

You're alone.

So what do you do?

You do the worst possible thing. You start Googling.

And suddenly, every symptom lines up perfectly. Fatigue. Nausea. Dizziness. Loss of appetite.

Sitting on the bathroom floor phone gripped tight in your hands, you stare at the search results until the words blur together.

The answer is simple. You need to take a pregnancy test.

But you don’t move. You don’t get up. You just sit there, legs curled up to your chest, heart hammering in your ears.

What if it’s positive? What if it’s not? What if—

You squeeze your eyes shut.

You tell yourself it’s fine. You tell yourself you’re overreacting. You tell yourself to wait it out.

But no matter how many times you try to push it away, the what if won’t leave you alone.

And deep down, you already know you won’t be able to breathe until you know for sure.

So you make the appointment. And then you drive yourself there. Alone.

The waiting room is small, sterile, and too quiet. You sit stiffly in one of the plastic chairs, phone gripped tight in your hands. You refresh your notifications. Again. Again. Hoping for an update.

Nothing.

You swallow hard, tapping your foot against the floor. The walls feel too close, the air too heavy, and for a second, you consider just walking out.

Maybe it really is just stress.

But before you can make up your mind, a nurse calls your name.

You force yourself to stand, legs unsteady as you follow her back. The blood pressure cuff tightens around your arm, the pulse oximeter clips onto your finger, and you try not to wince when she frowns at the numbers.

“Heart rate’s a little high,” she notes.

You swallow. “Yeah. That’s probably just—” You hesitate, glancing away. “I’ve been anxious.”

She nods, scribbles something on the chart. “What brings you in today?”

You exhale slowly. “I haven’t been feeling great. Lightheaded. Nauseous. My appetite is weird. And, um… I’ve been having some stomach pain.”

The nurse hums, nodding along, but then her next question knocks the air from your lungs.

“Could you be pregnant?”

You freeze.

Your first instinct is to say no. You’re on birth control. You’re careful. This shouldn’t even be a question.

But you’re late. And you do feel off. And there’s that sliver of doubt you haven’t been able to shake.

So instead, you hesitate.

“Maybe.” Your voice is small, unsteady.

She nods again, like she hears that answer all the time, and scribbles another note before setting the clipboard aside.

“We’ll do a test,” she says gently. “Just to be sure.”

And then you’re left alone in the exam room, staring at the speckled tile floor, hands twisted in your lap, heart hammering against your ribs.

You tell yourself it’s fine. You tell yourself you’ll handle it, whatever it turns out to be. But no matter how many times you try to convince yourself, your hands are still shaking as you wait for the results.

Alone.

The knock on the door is soft, but it makes you jump.

The nurse steps back inside, glancing at the chart in her hands. “Your test was negative.”

You exhale. Your shoulders dropping, lungs finally expanding. But it’s not a relief. Not really.

Because nothing has changed. Jake is still gone. You’re still waiting. You’re still alone in this.

Your fingers curl against the paper lining of the exam table, the crinkle loud in the silent room. You should feel better. This should ease something. But all it does is leave a hollow ache in your chest.

Because the fear is still there. The uncertainty. The realization that for one brief, terrifying moment, you’d considered what this could have meant.

You press your lips together, nodding vaguely as the nurse talks. She is going on about something. You think she might be recommending rest and hydration. And there’s something about stress management.

You barely hear her.

Because all you can think about is Jake.

How much you miss him. How much you need him to come home. And how utterly terrified you are that he won’t.

By the time you’re walking out of Urgent Care, stepping into the cool night air, the weight of it all crashes down on you.

You wrap your arms around yourself, blinking hard against the sting behind your eyes.

You don’t want to be alone in this anymore.

But for now?

You have no choice.

* * * * *

It happens when you’re least expecting it.

You’re at The Hard Deck, nursing a drink that you don’t really want, when Nat slides onto the stool next to you. She greets you casually, like she always does, but something in her expression shifts when she gets a good look at you.

"You look like hell," she says.

You huff a laugh. "Feel like it too."

She leans in slightly, voice lower. "Jake’s back."

The words hit like a sucker punch to the ribs. You blink. Swallow. 

“What?”

“Got back a few days ago.” 

She says it so easily, like it’s nothing. Like it’s not the most important thing you’ve heard in weeks.

Your fingers tighten around your glass. A few days. Jake’s been here. Alive. Breathing. Walking around San Diego like everything is normal. And he didn’t tell you.

The realization stings. You force yourself to breathe through it, to keep your face neutral as you take a sip of your drink. “Good for him.”

Nat studies you, like she can hear all the things you don’t say.

If it meant anything to him. If that night, the things unsaid, the way you held onto him meant something, wouldn’t he have reached out?

Wouldn’t he have wanted to see you?

You tell yourself you don’t care. That it doesn’t matter.

But deep down, it does.

Because while he’s been fine walking around, acting like it was just another mission, just another day, you’ve been going through hell.

And now? You don’t know what to do with that.

So you don’t tell him right away. Not about Urgent Care. Not about the nights you spent staring at the ceiling, sick with worry.

But the moment you see him later that night? All of it comes rushing back.

The moment you spot him across the bar, your heart slams against your ribs.

Jake looks exactly the same. Same cocky smile. Same easy confidence. Same damn twinkle in his eye as he laughs at something Coyote says, a beer dangling from his fingers like he doesn’t have a care in the world.

Like he didn’t just vanish for three months. Like you didn’t spend sleepless nights wondering if he’d ever make it home. Like that night…the way you curled into him, the way you needed him meant absolutely nothing.

You wait. Wait for him to look over. To acknowledge you. To do something. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t even glance your way.

Your stomach twists, but you shove the feeling down. Maybe this is your answer. Maybe you were the only one who spent the last three months thinking about that night.

Maybe it was nothing to him.

If he’s going to act like this never meant anything, like you’re just another face in the crowd then fine.

You can act like that, too.

You tell yourself you won’t look again, but your gaze betrays you. Every few minutes, your eyes flick to where he stands. And every damn time, you catch him already looking.

A half second too long. Just enough to make your pulse stutter.

But neither of you move. Neither of you say a word.

Hours pass like this stolen glances, fleeting eye contact, both of you waiting for the other to be the first to break.

"You know he asked about you, right?" Natasha says, nudging your arm as she slides into the seat beside you.

You blink. “What?”

“While we were deployed,” Bradley adds from across the table. “Not all the time, but enough.” He shrugs. “It meant something to him. That night you went home with him.”

Your chest tightens, but you shake your head. “If it meant something, he would’ve reached out.”

Bradley gives you a look. “He just got back.”

“It’s been three days,” you counter.

“Maybe he thought you would reach out,” Natasha offers.

You scoff, leaning back in your chair. “Well, then I guess we’re at a stalemate.”

They exchange a glance, and then Bradley huffs, shaking his head. “Fine. Be stubborn. But you’ll never know unless you talk to him.”

Natasha smirks, tipping her glass toward Jake’s direction. “And for the record? He hasn’t stopped looking at you all night.”

Your breath catches, but you force yourself to keep your expression neutral. You won’t be the first to move. You won’t. The ball is in his court. It’s his move.

But somewhere between your resolve and your next drink, you realize that if you don’t talk to him tonight you’ll regret it.

So you stand and start making your way over to him before you can overthink it or talk yourself out of it.

Jake spots you coming the second you stan. By the time you come to a stop in front of him he’s already turned towards you, his beer poised halfway to his lips.

For a moment, neither of you say anything. Then, he exhales. “Wanna step outside?”

You hesitate, but only for a second. “Yeah.”

The night air is cooler than you expect, a welcome contrast to the warmth inside. The sounds of the bar fade slightly as you both step onto the patio, stopping near the railing.

Jake leans against it, looking over at you. “How’ve you been?”

You don’t answer. You just wrap your arms around yourself, and that—more than words—tells him everything he needs to know.

His jaw tightens. He looks away for a beat, then nods, exhaling softly. “Yeah,” he murmurs. “That’s what I thought.”

Silence stretches between you.

Jake shifts, rubbing the back of his neck. Then, quietly he says,“I would’ve called. Sooner, I mean. But I didn’t know if you wanted to hear from me.”

You let out a small, humorless laugh. “I spent the last three months thinking about that night. Wondering if you would come back home.”

“Were you really that worried about me?”

You let out a small humorless laugh. Then before you can second guess it and change your mind you just say it. “I was late.”

Jake turns fully toward you now, his brows drawing together. “Late? Like…”

Your throat feels tight, but you push through. “Yeah. And you…you weren’t here…none of you were.”

Your eyes are locked on the wooden planks of the patio below you. But you still hear the audible inhale of air that Jake takes. 

He clears his throat before he says anything. His voice is quiet when he finally speaks. “So are you…”

You shake your head. “No.”

Jake exhales, rubbing a hand over his jaw. “Shit.”

Neither of you speak for a few minutes. Then he shifts closer to you. Not close enough to touch, but close enough that the warmth of him brushes against you.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

You glance away from him, your eyes look out past the sand at the water and the horizon as the last remnants of the sun dipped below the edge of the horizon.

You take a deep breath and then look over at Jake. Your eyes meet his, and for the first time tonight, you let him in. You let him see the fear, the uncertainty, the weight and pressure that you’ve been carrying around for the last three months.

“I guess I didn’t know what you’d say,” you admit, your voice barely a whisper.

Jake goes silent again. And you feel the way the air shifts between you, the way his eyes stay locked on yours but his mouth doesn’t move. Your stomach twists. Your hands start to shake. And suddenly it’s too much.

The weight of the last three months. The waiting. The worrying. The wondering if you’d ever see him again.

You feel your chest tighten. You need to get out of here. Before he can see the way your breathing picks up, before he can see you break, you take a step back. Then another.

Jake doesn’t move.

You turn to go but before you can take another step, his hand closes gently around your wrist.

“Wait.”

His voice is quiet but firm. Steady.

You freeze.

“Just…wait.”

His grip is light, barely holding onto you, like he’s afraid if he pulls too hard, you’ll slip right through his fingers.

You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to breathe through the lump in your throat. “Jake, I can’t—”

“Please.”

That single word makes you stop. There’s something there in his voice…something raw.

Slowly, hesitantly, you turn back around.

Jake watches you, jaw tight, something heavy in his gaze. His fingers loosen, but don’t let go.

“I didn’t know,” he says finally, voice rough. “I swear to God, I didn’t know.”

You swallow hard. “I know.”

He nods, but his brows furrow, like that’s not enough. Like he needs you to really believe it.

His thumb brushes over your wrist absently, a slow, grounding motion. “I wouldn’t have left you alone with…that.”

You open your mouth, but nothing comes out.Because part of you believes him. And part of you doesn’t know what to do with that.

Jake takes a breath. “Come sit with me?”

Your instinct is to say no. To run. To protect yourself before he can hurt you again. But when you meet his eyes, all you see is sincerity.And maybe you’re too tired to fight him anymore.

So you nod.

Jake leads you to one of the patio benches, waiting until you sit before he lowers himself beside you.

For a moment, neither of you say anything. The sounds of the bar filter through the open doors, but out here it feels quieter.

“I should’ve called you when I got back,” he admits, voice low.

You blink at him. “You think?”

Jake exhales through his nose, shaking his head at himself. “I thought about you. More than I probably should’ve.” He huffs out a laugh, shaking his head. “Nat and Rooster were ready to throttle me with how much I talked about you.”

Your heart stutters. “Then why didn’t you—”

“Because I was scared,” he cuts in, meeting your gaze. “Scared I’d come back and you’d tell me that night didn’t mean anything. That I didn’t mean anything.”

Your lips part, stunned into silence.

Jake laughs softly, shaking his head. “Turns out, I’m an idiot.”

You watch him, the raw honesty in his expression, the vulnerability he rarely lets show.

You take a steadying breath, forcing yourself to ask the question that’s been haunting you since the morning after you last saw him.

“That night…” Your voice comes out softer than you intend, barely audible over the distant hum of the bar. “Did it mean anything? To you?”

Jake’s eyes snap to yours, something unreadable flickering across his face. For a moment, he just looks at you, like he’s weighing his answer.

“Yeah.” Jake exhales, running a hand through his hair before settling his gaze back on you. “It meant too much.”

Your breath catches. “Jake—”

“I thought about it,” he continues, voice steady but raw. “More times than I should admit. But I convinced myself it was better to leave it alone. That if I reached out, you’d tell me it was a mistake.” He lets out a dry laugh. “Hell, I figured you probably regretted it the second it happened.”

You shake your head instantly, the words slipping out before you can stop them. “I didn’t.”

You swallow hard, hands gripping the edge of the bench. “I never regretted it,” you admit, voice barely above a whisper.

Silence settles between you, thick and weighted.

Jake watches you like he’s searching for something—like he’s waiting for permission to believe you. Then, slowly, he leans in, elbows on his knees, voice quieter now.

"So where does that leave us?"

You don’t know.

All you know is that after months of silence, of doubt, of wondering—Jake is here. Right in front of you.

And maybe that’s enough.

[otterloreart]

Steps of creating a 3D model replica from scratch

trace photos of character from available and cleanest angles. attempt to get a 90 degree*, front and back, side profile and straight on of the face. save additional reference photos such as bottom of body, back, and various extra angles without tracing which may help reference later on.

*more on angles later, but trying to get a 90 degree from each side is the most realistic and practical option if you dont actually have the character you're copying

2. block out the body and head

and by block i mean, yeah, its made out of elaborate rectangles

4 aha, you thought I would hand sculpt those? no. no. I used the curve tool to add these swirls. And yes i exactly traced them over the drawings to match the original as best as possible. The end of the curve tool is flat by default so I added a few spheres to make the ends nice and round. (there is absolutely a way to make the ends of curves rounded but I did not feel like looking it up or messing with the settings)

this wasn't mirrored to the other side- I traced both sides of the body and the front from photos and sculpted the swirls for each side. I couldn't get a single photo of the swirls at the butt area so I just winged it.

6 I am struggling to not make Cha Cha look angry.

I feel like the eyes are basically traced off the original and yet she looks so much grumpier. maybe it just needs to be smoothed out?

I added a little definition to the area around the eyes and I do think it looks a little better. The more definition I add in this stage the better, because I prefer this to sculpting. However, if you're more adept at sculpting you would probably not make this as detailed.

7 Here she is after smoothing everything out in sculpt after remeshing, in both Eevee (left) and Cycles (middle/right). still trying to figure out how best to render things. For some reason her nose ended up lighter in cycles but i cant be bothered to fix that rn

On the previous step I made the elements of her face + ears mirrored but once I start sculpting I'm not using the mirror tool. In fact nothing ends up mirrored, even the back right foot is slightly shifted in position.

this is probably not even the final version, I think i might redo the smooth/sculpt part and fiddle with the underlying shapes (basically go back a step)

Cha Cha's face. is one of the most difficult things to sculpt. It is extremely difficult to understand the shape of the underlying sculpt because there aren't any photos of her with the eye paint removed. There are so few of her out there I don't think anyone would willingly remove the paint to make a custom or anything unless it was in truly awful condition, and I dont think that has ever happened.

I have saved dozens of references from a number of different sites- these pics here are from etsy, the above was from the wiki. Her eyes are different from every single other pony and pony and friends- they're so bulging, so round, the eyelashes are longer. It's wild.

I can only see all the things that are wrong with it.

It's basically impossible to get something like this 100% perfect unless you have like, a set of turnaround photos all from the same angle that you can match up to the camera. You can basically overlap references with the camera view but you will never know the exact angle so if you make edits from multiple angles like this you'll inevitably not match each angle and then have to go back and adjust the angles and then you're fiddling with it infinitely. That's why I usually go for the "trace 4 angles and make the rest up as you go along" method.

I don't want to spend _too_ long on every model I make- the Takara pony which took 6 months really shows how far down the rabbit hole I will go with something like this, and it's just not practical. But I think with a slight amount of fiddling I can match the reference a little better.

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY WYNNE - PARTY BANTER *  assorted banter from dragon age: origins

you must know that murder is wrong, i assume.

i feel guilty for having ever spoken to you.

i am going to walk away now. calmly. coolly. this is to save you the pain of having your brain forcibly removed through your ears.

please get to the point.

cherish this. it may not last.

you were watching her. with great interest, i might add. in fact, i believe you were enraptured.

wait... why do you have that look on your face?

what are you thinking about now? no. i don't want to know. i feel dirty. do not speak to me.

i have a name. we all do.

you do speak your mind, do you?

it was a serious question.

must you be such a child? are you incapable of a single, serious conversation?

have you changed your mind yet?

enough. i am ending this conversation.

i am going to walk away now.

we are not having this conversation.

perhaps you could save a life, instead? one for every life you have taken.

it is not a game. you either know right from wrong or you do not.

i once had my portrait painted by an artist in the square here. it wasn't very good.

now that you're in an intimate relationship, you should learn about where babies really come from.

i like you, [name]. you deserve to be happy.

you go ahead and rant, and i'll just not my head if you like.

what exactly are you implying?

be careful who you flirt with.

it would not be the first time i woke to a younger man in my bed.

you have a barbed tongue, [name]. tell me, why do you speak to others this way?

there are good reasons for the world to fear mages, even despite our best intentions.

touch nothing! i don't think they clean the surfaces in this place very often.

everyone's gone... or dead. i fear the worst.

this cannot continue.

these people don't deserve what has happened to them.

i thought it was a legend.

i could not have asked for a greater honor than to be here. i will never forget this feeling.

many enter this forest and are never seen again. let's hope we don't join them.

there's something about this place that makes my skin crawl.

i didn't expect it to be this crowded.

what hideous habits you've picked up.

can't you mend your own clothes? why do i have to do it?

stop fussing with it. you'll make it worse.

[name], if you open that wound up, i'm not going to heal it again. you can just treat it yourself.

if you decide to slaughter me out of hand, i'm sure you would at least inform me first, no?

what makes you think i have any children at all?

i suppose i'll take that as a comment on my demeanor and not my age.

why thank you, [name]. i am quite touched. i like you, too.

those who do not heed to lessons of history are doomed to repeat them.

you are dangerous, [name]. dangerous, cunning, and thoroughly deceitful.

when the end comes, i will go gladly to my rest, proud of my achievements. while you... you will see how empty your life was. you will realize that because you never had love for others, you never received love in return. and you will die alone and unmourned.

i suppose i should be flattered.

very well, let's have a taste.

what are you... never mind, i don't want to know.

i never looked at you. definitely not in that way.

i bought you a towel, a bar of soap, and a razor while we were at the market.

i am not interested in your innuendos, your propositions, or your bodily emanations.

no! keep it to yourself! i'm serious!

i do what i do because i enjoy it, because i enjoy teaching others, helping them.

i do not seek recognition for my works.

i heard you were quite happy there.

i think you're missing the point.

it is precisely this kind of talk that made them wary of you. opinions that differ from your own are always threatening.

it is sometimes so hard to believe that you have been through so much at such a young age.

i do hate being compared to wine. or cheese.

thank you, i was wondering where it got to.

do not worry for me, or for yourself. death will take us when it wills and 'til then, we shall live. truly live.

it's much warmer where you're from, isn't it? don't you feel cold?

i didn't mean to stare.

i can't even begin to tell you whats wrong with that idea.

you can stop flinching. i'm not going to harm you.

[gabessquishytum]

So I just thought about a Dreamling Avatar The Last Airbender AU. Dream was born in a highranking fire nation family (maybe even the royal family) and lived a fairly normal if secluded life, and of course he's been trained to perfection when it comes to firebending. Only, on his 16th birthday it turns out he's also the Avatar.

Dream is not a fan of that. He already feels useless despite his status in the fire nation and now he's the one who's supposed to bring the world balance? He can't even balance his own feelings. Even the greatest Avatars could never bring peace to the world for more than a few years (at best a few decades) in a row, how is he supposed to do that? But he knows he has no choice and so he goes on his journey to learn the other elements. And while he learns the elements to perfection as well, his journey just proves what he already knew: He's a mess and unfit to bring balance to anyone.

As he learned air bending, he fell in love with his teacher - the nun Nada. Unfortunately, while she loved him back, she decided to remain a nun and to follow her duties to her people rather than running away with Dream. Dream was so upset about it that he unintentionally burned her and left the temple in shame, not even checking if she was okay in his haste to get away. He's still ashamed of what he did back then and hasn't visited an air temple since.

He promised himself that the same would not happen again - and yet, as he went to the water tribe to study his next element, he fell head over heels in love again. This time with the daughter of the chief, Calliope. Their relationship started so well, too - both of them understood each other, knowing what it was like to grow up protected and secluded, as well as with many (annoying) siblings. They even discover a shared love for creating ice sculptures, sometimes spending their entire time together just one-upping each other in who can make the prettiest one of all. Dream is so certain of his love that he even carves a betrothel necklace for Calliope, who gladly accepts it. However, seeing this, her father and sisters give her a stern talking to, warning her that she shouldn't go through with it, maybe even having heared what Dream did to poor Nada and fearing that he might do the same to her. Calliope is disappointed by her family's lack of support, and even considers just running away with Dream anyway. But in the end, her loyalty will always be to her family and her tribe and so she hands the necklace back to Dream.

Dream, utterly heartbroken, done with this world, and continuing simply because he knows he has to (and what else is there to do, anyway?), goes to the earth kingdom to learn his final element. He's so tired of his heartache. In an effort to prevent the inevitable, he decides to look for a teacher who's all alone. A man. With no daughters or sisters or cousins or whoever else to fall in love with. Someone who will teach Dream to bend earth as quickly as possible so he can finally be done with this, go back home, and wait for the world to (hopefully never) call for his help.

Luckily, he stumbles across Hob. Hob is an amazing earth bender, if not a formally trained one, and he spends his life wandering all across the world on his own. He uses his bending for banditry to get by and otherwise just wants to see the world. He doesn't really have a goal, though originally he just wanted to get as far away as possible from the woman (Eleanor) who broke his heart. It's really a miracle Dream found him at all.

Despite earth not being his naturally opposing element, it's the one Dream struggles the most with. He supposes it's because of the needed mindset. Earthbenders are known to be proud, and Dream feels he has no reason to be. To bend earth you have to face the element, and while Dream doesn't exactly run away, it's less in a I'm standing my grounds against it way and more in a I don't care if I get smothered to death by this boulder way. Hob knows that this is not a good attitude to have while bending earth (or any other element, he suspects), so he forced Dream to take a break from learning the elements and tries to teach him how to enjoy life instead. He manages to fascinate Dream with all his stories, to get him to look at the world (if not yet humanity) with awe, and Dream even opens up about some of his trauma, trusting that Hob will be there for him.

And one day, as Dream watches his earth bending master train, shirtless and sweating, his hair in a messy bun, Dream realizes he's in love. And he's scared. This is not good. He's done this before, twice even, and this is going to be a catastrophy. Damn it, he chose Hob specifically to prevent this! Why can't he ever be normal?

He spirals so hard that he accidentily enters the Avatar state for the first time in his life. He feels endless power flowing through him, uncontrolled, and he has only one throught: He can't hurt Hob. He needs to get away.

In his condition, this thought is all he needs to basically catapult himself away, flying through the air at an incredible speed, looking for somewhere to hide. He lands on top of a mountain, at the entrance of a cave and collapses. By the time he wakes up again, and remembers what happened, he decides it's not worth it to get up again. He's only gonna hurt someone or get hurt himself anyway. And so he remains, lying on the entry to that cave, not even properly shielded against wind or rain, just staying in the fetal position for days. And that's how Hob finds him.

This is such a great idea, and I love the way you've described each of Dream’s experiences in his training!!! I could really visualise each one. I am also going to link the art you made for it here, because it's magnificent and I am low-key obsessed with Earthbender Hob!!!!

I love the idea of Hob laboriously climbing the mountain in search of Dream, utterly relieved to finally find him. He scoops Dream up and hugs him so tight, and Dream is so exhausted and emotionally drained he just sinks into it and whimpers. He's ashamed of himself for being so weak. But Hob doesn't see it as weakness, not at all. He's just so incredibly, deeply relieved. He promises Dream that everything will be okay. He also tells Dream that he loves him. He has absolutely no idea if Dream loves him back (Hob is not the most observant Earthbender in the world). He just wants Dream to know that he IS loved. He'll gladly carry Dream down the mountain and take care of him until he feels better. Hob thought that he'd be happy to be alone for the rest of his life, but it's not true - he wants to be with Dream. As friends or allies or something more, whatever he can get. He wants to be with his forever.

It's a miracle that Dream doesn't go into the Avatar state all over again. Fortunately he's too drained and tired to do anything but wrap his arms around Hob’s shoulders. He has no idea what the future might hold, but the knowledge that he can have Hob forever... that makes it all a little easier to deal with. He suddenly feels quite willing to save the world. Because suddenly, the world really does feel worth saving.

[shiroganeryo]

DGM 252: New perspectives and confirmations it has given us

⚠️First of all, I'll be tagging this under DGM spoilers so if you have somehow stumbled upon this even if you're avoiding spoilers for Chapter 252 (or the most recent DGM talks as a whole), this is your warning to turn back now!

And secondly, I'm under the effect of allergy meds so please pardon me if I'm talking gibberish 😂 But the latest chapter has given us some food for thought and I've been mulling it over.

There are two points I want to cover in this post; the first one being much extensive while the other is rather short.

1. Bookman Jr.

The reveal that the guy we had thought to be Past!A all along was actually the former Bookman Jr. in one of the best twists Hoshino has given us in a while - she sounded very proud of how we were all misled by her narrative and honestly I tip my hat at her for such genius - has also fueled questions about his identity.

I'll start by saying I do not believe he and Cross are the same person. That's not what I'll be talking about so I'm playing this card right off the bat. This theory, although popular, has always had way too many gaps for my liking and after the latest chapter, the chances are practically null that it's true.

If you want a discussion as to why, this post has put it into words better than I could and I agree 100% with OP's point, hence why I don't see the need to say anything on the matter.

But there's one thing that I'm yet to see people discussing and it's about the talk Lucia had with Joe back in The 222nd Night: Searching for A.W. - Hypokrisis.

(I'm showing what I believe to be the official translated English version by Viz and there's a reason why)

For a long time, people have debated about this small exchange between Lucia and Joe. There's no doubt the one they're talking about is old man Bookman, so we can confidently affirm he's the one waiting at the Campbell Mansion.

And what about Lavi? This is where the next dialogue from Lucia comes into play:

Since this is probably the version a lot of people have read, I must make it clear that the like "Junior, his successor, isn't here" was a mistranslation. Here's the original:

Lucia: Koukeisha to naru Jr. wa mou imasen. (The one who'd become his successor, Jr, is no more.)

I've double-checked with the Brazilian Portuguese translation because it tends to be as close to the original as possible, and surely enough, it's translated correctly:

(image courtesy of the volume I own by my so-so phone camera 😋)

"Junior, who was his heir, is no more."

The literal translation for what Lucia is saying is "isn't among us anymore", but that's an expression in Portuguese that means that someone has died/doesn't walk on Earth anymore.

While the mistranslated English version and the original Japanese/Brazilian version have similar meanings, the way it's worded gives the sentence a completely different meaning: in one we're led to believe Jr. isn't physically there at the Mansion, while the other two make it clear that Jr. has died.

And that's exactly why that, after Chapter 252 dropped, this scene is given a new perspective - because Lucia was referring to the former Bookman Jr, and not the current one.

We don't know the whereabouts of current Lavi - cue in the chair jokes, I unfortunately love them all - and while I might be wrong, I have my reasons to believe he's alive.

It just doesn't feel like Hoshino to kill an important character off-screen, plus she has said we'll see him again eventually and that the mystery of what's behind his eyepatch is still to be revealed (and will only happen once Bookman passes away, something that will possibly happen before the story reaches its end).

I have the feeling Lavi still has much to contribute to the story and he's actually one of the characters that, to me, seem to have the highest odds of making it alive until the end. It also isn't mere coincidence that Bookman picked the same alias for both Juniors, since Lavi has mentioned in a discussion room that the aliases refer to their record logs and the Holy War is being recorded under 'Lavi'. There's unfinished business to be taken care of.

Using the mistranslated version to illustrate was important because I've seen people wondering where Lavi is if not in the Mansion, while others were afraid he has died. He's very likely in a predicament, but dead? I don't think so.

So that only leaves us with one viable subject for that dialogue, that being the former Bookman Jr. (now affectionately dubbed Lavi Sr. by the fandom).

"But how come they didn't know Bookman already had a new apprentice back in Chapter 222 if the Zoogles mentioned it in Chapter 251?"

Yes, it's a little odd. What I can infer from this is that they either 1. Didn't know Bookman already had a new Jr. because he had been unconscious and only after they stabilized his situation they could talk, or 2. Did know about the current Lavi but believe him not to be ready to take on the mantle yet while Lavi Sr. was (but unfortunately deserted the clan).

Since only the Bookman and his appointed apprentice, who was born with the seal, can exchange information and records via their blood, it might be not that off the chart that the Zoogles weren't up-to-date on his affairs since they're not Bookmen themselves but rather a bloodline of people scattered across the globe who are supporters of Bookman's mission like Lucia has explained. Yet, even if they aren't all-knowing, it seems odd for them not to know something as vital as that about the person they're supporting.

And of course, there's also the possibility of option 3, something else that I completely failed to consider right now. Time will tell which one.

Note: By the way, the Lucia in 222 and the Lucia in 251/252 are indeed the same person; Hoshino seemed to hint there's a reason behind her sudden aging that we don't know yet. It's important to make this clear since what I've said is related to dialogues delivered by her.

2. Past!A = current Allen

(image courtesy of Kougeki Scans' Chapter 251's translation)

There were theories around and people still considering the possibility of our current Allen being a clone and all sorts of theories because of the unexplainable age gap between him and Past!A, but it seems the deaging theory has been fully confirmed by Chapter 252, as we saw it taking place before our very eyes.

There are still some mysteries surrounding it, but seeing how Apocryphos mentioned the "Helix", we can't help but be taken back to the explanation we've previously seen about the Helix of Life (The 221st Night - The Clown's Joke).

Since that's a topic that feels like there's more to it as of now, I won't be discussing the how and why Allen deaged, especially with the unseen variable in the mix that is Innocence; who knows if that might make the Helix energy behave differently.

I was on the "deaging theory" train because Nea was able to recognize Past!A all right when he looks in the mirror (The 214th Night: Searching for A.W. - Awakening) and also questioned the presence of Innocence on his body as well as how he hadn't aged but instead had gotten younger (The 215th Night: Searching for A.W. - By Your Side).

There are many mistranslations in the official English version of these two chapters (214 and 215) that have fueled countless misconceptions within the fandom but I won't be pointing those out in this post since I'm not here this time specifically to talk about it.

Note: Mangadex seems to have nicely translated versions of these chapters if you want to check them out for a recalling - I can't confirm fully but what I read of them looked consistent and faithful to the original.

Anyways, back on track; now that we've seen what took place 35 years ago in Chapter 252, Nea's bewilderment at the current situation of Allen back in Chapter 214/215 makes a lot more sense.

And even more interesting is that as soon as he noticed the Innocence lodged into Allen's left hand, we see the image of Apocryphos, as if Nea could feel its presence. Turned out that meant more than just Apocryphos being able to resonate with all Innocence, but rather, that the very reason why that Innocence had found home in Allen's body was by its intervention.

Just what the hell, dude. That was, once again, extremely well-played on Hoshino's part. I'm really looking forward to the next chapter!

[carawenfiction]

I have just learned about the rewrite since I've rechecked your tumblr, I didn't even know about you doing that. I know you listed changes in that post, but would it be possible to know how much will be changed, overall? I love this game so much so changes make me nervous haha! BTW, I made an extensive review both on Steam and the topic CoG forums a while ago, if you're interested in checking them out! Good luck! I love your work!

Hi Konoi!

I'm sorry for answering this (and all other asks) so late.

I read your steam review, thank you so much for taking the time to write it! It definitely reminded me about some things regarding narrative structure and to consider how to best balance character moments/bonding and overall pacing.

This is very premature to say since there's not a whole lot of content out yet, let alone the whole rewrite, but if any of you change your opinion of the final product once you've read it - whether that's negative or positive - I'd really appreciate an updated review!

I'm going to explain some key changes in this post. There are no big spoilers, but if you DON'T want to go into things with any prior knowledge about the game, please don't read the rest of this post!

My thought process

I began the old rewrite because of my personal dissatifaction with the story. I didn't have a clear picture of what exactly I wanted; I just knew I wanted it to be different. But the new, current rewrite is being created because of ideas that have developed in my mind regarding the setting and overall story. I'd say that the "shadow world" is a bit more dangerous, uncertain and that the threats that hide there are not immediately easy to determine, if that makes any sense at all. The original has you going from point A to point B and have everything explained to you, which leaves the MC with little to do and decreased agency. One of my aims is to let you explore the world in more dynamic ways than through exposition dumps and also giving you more choices and include more branching due to those choices, both big and small.

I was pondering what it might be like to enter a world like this and I think it would be a strange mixture of terror, surrealism, loneliness + a need to either depend on whoever you can, even if you don't trust them. Or alternatively, pretend like you depend on others while only really depending on yourself. That's not to say that TSS is a horror game now haha, I don't even know how to write horror 😔but my hope is that it feels like a more personal and intriguing experience rather than purely an "isekai" kind of story.

The MC

I didn't get far with the old rewrite, but I focused more on fleshing out the MC's hometown and M's background. While the new rewrite has a bit more added to chapter 1, I've kept some things that I previously tried to present more thoroughly purposefully vague for a reason this time around.

The MC is somewhat different, too. One thing I'm dissatisfied with in the original is the lack of an established past for the MC. There was your job and your father's accident, but not much more than that. And yes, there were hints at something more, but you didn't really get to delve deeply into that during book 1.

In this version of the rewrite, I think the MC is a bit more jaded. You can absolutely play an optimistic and happy kind of MC, but there are pieces of their past that have affected them and are currently affecting them to a lesser or greater degree depending on how you play. Ex. The death of their father is going to play a larger part throughout the story and will be depicted as something that haunts the MC rather than just being something that happened when they were little. The changes that have happened as they grew up - losing most of their old friends and ties as well as being curtly left by their closest friend/ex - has also affected them. The MC has some lingering abandonment issues there but it's up to you how the MC has developed because of them. There is a point in chapter 1 where it's mentioned that they currently find it difficult to grow close to people, but I'm going to update that section and offer different options that determines whether you keep an optimistic outlook or not soon.

The supporting cast/main cast

The relationships and characters are still at the center of the story. I want to make the bonds with them feel more organic and less "choose flirt, friendship, or rivalry" every time you interact with them.

In the original, the MC is thrown into this world together with M, and the group is (iirc) being very vague and generally unhelpful. I included romantic and friendship-raising scenes before you even knew anything about them, which is something I'm changing this time around (you still have romantic options during your first meeting with A and G, but they are not full romance scenes as such and only included because it fits the characters in question).

There's no longer a need to spend time with just 1 character and pick 1 right option. Instead, I want to include a lot of opportunities for you to get to know them, grow closer if you want to and keep your distance if you don't. I'm still in the process of developing this more, but all in all I want to include different branches for the relationships that aren't necessarily always as clearcut as friend/lover/rival, at least in the beginning when you don't know them well. Once the MC and the characters know each other better, I think more established roles like that will show more.

And about the romance, for those of you interested: I hadn't written much in the way of romance back when I wrote the original TSS. I actually think TSS is the first romance-related story I wrote at all. It was very much an exercise in writing in a lot of ways. Now that I have more experience I feel more confident in writing different kinds of romances, and there's going to be more romance-related content in the remake for those who choose that route. Those who aren't into romance have the option to get more platonic scenes, though!

In the original I interrupted scenes and threw in stuff that would delay certain revelations just for the sake of delaying, and the pacing, plot and characterization imo suffered as a result. The remake shows a group that is very much fractured, just like in the original (maybe more so now). They obviously know more than the MC does, but they all have different levels of knowledge and personal motivations that even others in the group don't know about. A and R obviously know each other from before, as do Q and A. But other than that it's very much a group that works together out of perceived necessity and their own motivations. Most of them don't trust one another either. They are also quicker to offer certain information and explain the situation to the MC since THEY also find themselves in a situation they didn't really predict due to unforeseen changes in their plans.

Basically they are a bit out of their depth at end of chapter 1 and chapter 2, and so they're on a bit more even ground with the MC in certain ways.

The Shadowman/Shadowlady is introduced a bit differently in chapter 2, and the main cast's backstories - and to some smaller extent, personalities - have been reworked/updated/changed.

The plot

Though I won't go into what happens in later chapters for obvious reasons, the narrative/plot is presented a bit differently. For example: in the original you met the group, had a 1 on 1 talk with one of the characters where you could raise friendship, romance or rivalry, then it was announced that you have to leave the house because it's no longer safe and the rest of the story takes place in the hideout and A and R's old home. But now that feels like a waste of an interesting story, because so much of the MC's past and so many secrets exist IN your old childhood home. That's why most of book 1 will take place inside the house itself.

It may sound less exciting, but it's not your typical house - while you need to stay in it for now, you'll soon realize that it sort of has a life of its own and can lead to places it shouldn't. I think it makes for a more intimate and personal experience as it allows you to explore more of your own character while giving you the option of growing closer to the other characters as well.

This got super long, but I hope all of that makes sense? If you (or anyone) has any questions regarding any of the info I've given just let me know <3

[loveaurapearl]

Wild Life SMP connections to Alice in Wonderland

To say Wild life is crazy would be an understatement. It's a fun, silly, chaotic series and I love it. But something I wanted to analyze it was it's connections to Alice in Wonderland. Now... I'm not the first person to make this connection. I'm sure there are tons of people talking to their friends about it or at least thinking about it, but I wanted to put more thought into the connection.

I first have to make people understand why people make think this season is connected to Alice in Wonderland in the first place. The first reference was obvious, the shrinking and growing mechanic of session one and the randomized food of session 2 being a reference to how Alice could shrink and grow by eating mushrooms. Sure Alice didn't eat dirt to fly, but the Mad Hatter and Marchhair were able to eat their silverware and Alice could float thanks to her dress. Secondly, the wild mechanic itself. Wonderland is a world where anything can happen at any time. Where laws have no meaning and to try and understand Wonderland with logic will only hurt your brian. So a world where each session changes the rules of the world is the closest thing a Minecraft server can be to a Wonderland world. Thridly, the life Series itself somehow matches Alice of Human Sacrifice. Link to Animatic that showed everyone this connection: Alice of Human Sacrifice || Life Series Winners Animatic. The life series has always been about made up rules that are more suggestions, but thanks to the Watchers, these worlds have been twisted into a death game where only one winner remains. This is just the only season that leaned into the Wonderland aspects.

(Note: I'm actually NOT that well versed on Alice in Wonderland. I don't know all the characters and I don't know them that well. I only watched the original animated Disney movie, so if I'm missing any connections, please let me know. I just want to make a discussion.) Now, I will only be using 5 characters in this analysis... mostly because I want this to fit in the post and I don't know Alice in Wonderland that well. Anyway, here are the characters. Alice, the Red and White Queen, a little bit about the Red King, the Catapillar, and finally, the Mad Hatter. (Note: the most I got to say will be the Red and Queen segments and the Grand finale, the Mad Hatter.)

First off, who's Alice? Well... whoever the winner of this season is. Alice in the Life series is always the winner, but what kind Alice they are depends on who wins. There's a reason why I referenced Alice of Human Sacrifice, because it doesn't matter who exactly Alice is. I'm just here to connect the other characters of Alice in Wonderland to the lifers because that's more interesting.

The first one I want to discuss the Queen of Hearts and White Queen. Miss 'Off with their heads' and the other one. (Sorry White Queen, but there's a reason the Red Queen is remembered more.) Now, one might want to give the Queen of Hearts role to Pearl and the White Queen to Gem, after all, Pearl is becoming 5' am Pearl again. It's easy to say the one turning Red is the Queen of Hearts. But the thing is, I think it's the other way around. The Queen of Hearts controls the other people through fear and tactics. She is never questioned and controls the people through an iron fist. Pearl... while her teammates trust her and thanks to session three their relationships have become stronger so she's not alone, but they still aren't fully trusting of her. In fact, none of the other lifers see Pearl as a leader, as someone that they should follow. Sure, they don't want to be on her bad side, but she does not control them. Gem, on the other hand, is in full control over a vast majority of the server. Skizz is on her side, the Tuff Guys are on her side, and Renwood Mound is on her side, Scar is still technically family to Gem and Joel, and Gem has a secret alliance with Lizzie. Sure the other Spanners haven't made full alliances with them yet, and Jimmy has been trying to kill Joel all of session 3, but if I would guess to say who controls the server right now, I'd say Gem? And why does everyone, even guys who are on Red, don't attack her? Because they're terrified of her. She killed so many people in Secret life and it's a shield to her. So, if Gem wants someone to lose their head, it's easy for the other lifers to follow her command, after all, they don't want her to do the same to them.

Now, Joel isn't the Red King of Alice. Yes he is the Red King of Last Life, but that has nothing to do with Alice in Wonderland. The Red King in Alice is a Wimp and while Joel is trying to be nicer, he's not a whimp. I don't know who the Red King is, but I'm 90% sure he's not a lifer and I have no idea what character in Alice Joel would be.

The Catapillar would be Scott, they're just cool dudes who know a lot of things and are smart... I... I just wanted to add this in because Scott is the closest thing to the Catapillar and I thought it was neat and I feel like they fit each other's vibs.

Anyway, the final character I wanted to talk about, and the main reason I made this post in the first place. The Mad Hatter. The goofy, carefree man with a hat...and the Character I'm connecting it to is Scar. It's... just Goodtimeswithscar. From the moment I saw Scar's skin, I thought... hey doesn't he look kind of like the mad Hatter. Okay, he doesn't actually look like him, but it was the first thing that came to my mind other than, omg, Scar's skin is amazing. Scar is a whimsical man who loves Disney, so I couldn't help but connect him to a Disney character based off of Alice in Wonderland, and with Scar's hat, it made it easy to connect which character Scar would be. Scar is a silly, man who does silly things like the Mad Hatter. You could say the Bamboozler's campsite is like the Mad Hatter's tea area. But then... Scar saw red and... he's... he's not doing good. Scar's on Red and he's out for blood. So... Scar's no longer the Mad Hatter right? Because being Red would undo all the connections Scar had to the Mad Hatter, right? Well... no. Because there's a Dark Side of the Mad Hatter, it's just only explored with the Batman villain with same name, but a connection is a connection. After all, there's a reason the Mad Hatter is called the MAD Hatter. Sure, in a lot of adaptations, the Mad Hatter is just a silly guy with his silly hat, but with other adaptations like the Batman villain, we see the full terror that a mad man can be. You sympathize with them, but they're still villains, they still need to be stopped.

Scar... Scar has never been the most sane man. If you saw Scar in the Life Series, you see the full extent of the ruthlessness his mind will go. From trying to extort Ren for the Enchanter by threatening him that he would be the first to go if Scar ever turned Red in Third Life; doing it again to Team Best in Last Life; burning down bases in each season; stealing the Enchanter on multiple occasions, even outside of the life series during Grian's, Joel's, and Scar's 50 hours in HARDCORE challenge run; blowing up a ton of people in Limited life while on Yellow, trying to destroy the Mycelium resistance and making an evil lazer (go rewatch season 7 of Hermitcraft, Scar was the villain despite his denial of the situation), eating BDubs, Etho, Doc, and VintageBeef during season 5 of Hermitcraft (No. I'm being serious. Scar and Cub ate the NHO during season 5. Go watch Scar's season 5 of Hermitcraft, it's amazing for the Convex.), and his Villain arc in Secret life. Secret life was the most notable because he tried so to be nice and hinged during Secret season before the Secret Keeper decided to make him the Villain. As Skizz said to Scar when Scar confessed he was trying his best to be hinged, "THIS YOU BEING HINGED?" Scar isn't a mentally stable man. Grian said it best, "I'M STUCK ON A MOUNTAIN WITH A MADMAN!"

Scar is a madman. He's crazy and dangerous when he wants to be... but Scar also tries his best to be the best version of himself. To be nice, and kind, and sweet. It's why Scar didn't see himself as the Villain of Season 7 even while he was making evil lasers that drilled into the Eath to find the Mycelium Resistance's base. And even then he still denied he was a Villain until after the war was over.

Scar is the perfect depiction of both sides of what the Mad Hatter is. He's silly, he's whimsical, and charming. But he's also dangerous, vicious, and cruel. Not only that, but he's a Hatter. In Season 8, he made a hat factory for everyone. Scar is LITERALLY a Mad Hatter.

So yeah, I just wanted to give my thoughts. Hope you like them, and if you have any other lifers you want to connect to Alice in Wonderland and Wild life, make your own post. It'll be fun.

[literaturewit65]

Verlaine and Dazai: Two Sides of the Same Coin of Loneliness

As anyone who has read Storm Bringer will know, Verlaine dislikes people telling him he's human. So, that got me thinking, if you were friends with Verlaine and aware of his situation, what could you say to him that wouldn't hurt him more? Eventually I concluded that what you could say is that you know he isn't human and that's ok, he doesn't need to be human. But even that probably wouldn't bridge that gap he seems to see between himself and others.

Verlaine describes the loneliness he feels quite vividly. This is how it's written. This takes place in the English version of the Storm Bringer light novel on page 58. 'True loneliness...,' began Verlaine in an elegant tone reminiscent of a violin solo. 'True loneliness is the comet travelling alone through the universe, surrounded by vacuous space and nothingness at absolute zero,' (p. 58). This is quite the striking metaphor. He is, I believe referencing the philosophical idea that if a comet is travelling in space away from any other object there is no real way of determining that it is moving or even if it is even there, since nobody is there to observe it. Incidentally a similar idea is put forward in George Orwell's novel 1984 in that if no one is aware of what the past truly was, does is it even exist? This, I think is what Verlaine is getting at with this vivid depiction of loneliness. So I thought to myself, what if rather than having a companion comet, which is what Verlaine seeks through Chuuya, what if, someone was observing that comet. Put more clearly, although Verlaine might not have someone exactly like him, especially given that Chuuya turned out to be the original rather than the clone, he might have someone who doesn't understand exactly what he is going through but is willing to stay by him all the same, as Rimbaud was. An observer of the comet, if you will. And I think Asagiri does explore this idea, through Dazai.

In Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era Odasaku desribes Dazai's state of loneliness in a way which I personally found strikingly similar to Verlaine's description, at least in terms of imagery. He states, '...nothing beyond your own expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander the darkness for eternity,' (p. 160.). This takes place on page 160 of the English version of Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era. While not exactly referencing comets or space, the idea of wandering (or floating like a comet) in darkness is similar. It is my personal belief that even though most of us are no Dazai in terms of intelligence and no Verlaine in terms of being skill based life forms, no one can truly understand exactly what our life experience is like. Even if they love us, no one can truly know what our experience on Earth is like. But that's ok, because they don't need to. This is because we can still have meaningful relationships that cure us of loneliness without this level of understanding, of course a measure of understanding is needed, but in my opinion the level of understanding Verlaine was looking for in Chuuya, of being the same, is not necessary. And this is shown both through how much Rimbaud cared for Verlaine and through Dazai's relationship with his colleagues at the agency.

According to page 100 of the English version of Storm Bringer 'Nobody could understand how Dazai worked.' Which probably means that no one can understand Dazai. During the Dark Era light novel when Odasaku is dying we see Dazai realise how well Odasaku knew him, but even here Odasaku wishes he knew Dazai better. And yet we still see Dazai have meaningful relationships Odasaku and with his colleagues at the agency. They care about him and, I think, he cares about them. They know that even though he's a slacker he will be there when it really counts. When the agency is in trouble after the incident with Nikolai and the chainsaw (I forget what the arc was called) it's always Dazai that Atsushi pictures telling him what to do and giving him advice. It's clear how much Atsushi cares for Dazai given what he goes through to save his life during the 55 Minutes light novel and given Kunikida's reaction at the end of said light novel it's pretty clear how important Dazai is to him too.

To conclude, in my opinion what Verlaine needs is, I think, to recognise that people do not have to be the same as him in order to have a meaningful relationship with him, to stay by him and to cure him of his loneliness. This is something he realises at the very end of Storm Bringer but unfortunately by that time it's already too late.

[gay-wrongs-activist]

Okay, PIT BABE EPISODE 2 THOUGHTS.

Yes, I must scream in caps because fuck yes, that was a good episode.

The opening theme is a certified banger, I have only heard it twice now and it won't leave my head.

I love what a committed little shit Willy is. How is this asshole growing on me that fast. I especially appreciated that he seems to know exactly how competitive Babe is and that he would totally get him to agree if he proposes a competition.

My mind is all over the place regarding Tony's X Hunter plant aka the bonsai. Willy is the most obvious option. Dean also is sus as fuck unless prison really changed him completely. Third option even if less likely is currently Sonic, mostly because this man screams guilty conscience, buuuut we know he genuinely loves the team and also hasn't done anything yet that might split them.

Poor North. Look at him, he's even communicating like a sane and mature person, Sonic just won't talk to him.

Pete, how are you already that fucking gone for Chris? Just kidding, we know how insane you are over the original that you did drink like four glasses with. Chris had one drink with you, so he is on a good track to catch up.

Broke: Living room car. Woke: Driving your motorcycle in the house.

OH HECK has Pit Babe caught up to the fact that biting is a central element of the omegaverse and I am so fucking here for it.

Again - Pooh improved a lot in terms of acting since season one, and that allows Charlie's and Babe's scenes a more diverse emotional range which I freaking love.

I hope Tony's hair gets paid its own wage, because man is that hair pretty.

Listen. I know it's just a headcanon, but I genuinely believe that Kenta is Tony's one single biological son. It adds to the Kenta whump.

I love Winner's oportunistic ass for just being like "You have a job for me? Oh please of course, i love to commit evil deeds for you."

I do not trust Tony letting Kenta go, not one fucking bit.

Okay, hear me out. I actually think that Chris is not in the know about what happened between Tony and X Hunter up until he joined Pete's lab. He apparently heard some rumors over some suspicious recruitings, which I bet my ass was Tony, and Chris doesn't hesitate a second to share that knowledge. Also, he is researching Way's and Tony's fates. Personally I still believe that Chris is Way, but amnesiac or having his memories taken away. If he is not Way, there is still definitely an actual connection between them, the hints to that were just too strong this episode.

Alan is the most real of the bunch for doing basic housework and accidentally throwing things on the ground.

Listen. Listen. I do not believe we're gonna get confirmed mpreg this season, I just don't think change2561 has the balls for that. But I totally believe that Pon and Sailub were told to play their role as if Jeff was pregnant. Like, the little remarks? Jeff's hand instinctively and protectively going right to his stomach the second he's having a vision? Yeah. I see that.

1 million trust points for Sonic for being so incredibly happy over North graduating to main team racer.

Alan, I love you, but I wouldn't sign up to your team either. You have a favorite child and you will tell everyone about it and expect every other racer to only play eternal Babe support. Also the fucking shade towards Kim? Alan, you are on thin ice.

If Dean wasn't so fucking sus I would be incredibly happy to have him back. Also someone dump a bucket of water on that man, wet cat is a good look on him. Him being the bonsai doesn't make that much sense in light of the team being super suspicious of him to begin with. On the other hand, him fleeing and Kenta and Winner thinking him dead might also just be a cover? Hmmmmm.

While I am giving Alan shit over a number of things, I appreciate how very protective he is and how he will not hesitate for a second to grab a stick to beat up whoever seems to try to get into his house. Given that he's just a regular person (thinking back I am not even sure if we ever got a confirmation on his sub gender even?) in a world that has people with quasi super-powers, that still takes some guts.

I love how much Babe loves his boyfriend, and at least until he got angry, when Willy tried to hook up with him, he was looking as if his main thought was "yeah you can not keep up with me and my boyfriend fucking circa six times per day, don't embarrass yourself"

Charlie being angry was definitely hot. But. Charlie. Baby. Use your words. It's visible that you are hurting but you are afraid to voice that. Angry sex and biting your boyfriend definitely is fun and sexy, but you have to talk to each other. And this is besides the point, but you grabbing Babe's boobs/neck/everything else is unfairly good for my emotional wellbeing.

Sorry for getting side tracked but I find it's fucking funny that currently like three running BLs have extremly nice biting and none of them are the vampire BL.

Sad Charlie staring in the mirror, very melancholic scene, perfect for obnoxious product placement.

I am very happy that Charlie and Babe take turns wearing the sex apron.

I saw the preview and oh boy, Alan is back on the shit list. My man. Do you wanna be put on the bonsai list. I'm gonna cut you for giving your pregnant husband that kind of attitude.

Also preview, looks like Babe actually gets into the crash that Jeff saw, leaving him potentially in the hospital and I would guess with a broken or at least somehow damaged arm, and Willy sees that as the perfect time to be back on his bullshit. But what will that mean for the racing season? Because especially with Willy being around, I don't think Babe will be out of commission for longer, plus I also doubt that the hot tub action will happen before the crash, so i would guess that Babe is getting out of the thing relatively undamaged.

This relaxed lounging position of a queer person in their natural habitat. Jealous teasing vibes indeed.

[bloodyfries]

TGCF x Epic au

This might be incoherent and not make any sense because I'm just trying to get this down. For now all I have right now is just Xie Lain and not any other tgcf cast but I'll deal with that later.

Sometime during the end of Xie Lian's 2nd banishment he ends up in the ocean. Originally the plan was just to help some fisherman in exchange for food but a storm hit (just his luck) and he got thrown overboard. Next thing he knows he's waking up on the shore of an unfamiliar land

Logically this makes no sense and considering the world building differences in gods and monsters (ghosts too ig) that tgcf and epic are two separate worlds that Xie Lian just so happens to cross over.

Now for convenience I'm just going to say that Telemachus finds him when returning from some diplomatic mission (not the one from hold them down, we're not that far). Now while I do want XL and Athena to meet, Athena hasn't met telemachus yet. So, Telemachus (somehow) recognizes that Xie Lian is some kind of swordsman (even though he stopped using a sword after what happened in Yong-An, just role with it) and asks Xie Lian if he will train him in exchange for a place to stay. Xie Lian reluctantly agrees because, well, it's been a while since he had a decent meal

Cut to a little bit later (little wolf), Telemachus can hold his own a bit better then in cannon but Athena still steps in and along with quick thought and the bit of training from xl, Telemachus holds his own for a lot longer... though of course some other suitors step in because why would they ever fight fair. So, in steps Xie Lian and they actually win the scuffle (we'll say it wasn't a big group of suitors).

I don't think XL has been there long enough to already get into a fight and I think he knows that if he does try and fight them that it will end pretty bloody

Athena talk to both Telemachus and XL, intrigued by this mysterious fighter who looks to be younger then the prince yet masterfully skilled. I think Athena and Xie Lian would 100% get along, feeling rather similar in the failed teacher aspect. I do also believe that they would exchange information about each others worlds and Athena would convince XL that he should pick up a sword again (I like swords and I like Xie Lian, sue me)

Somewhere down the line XL is able to convince some suitors to become guards instead. They're faith in Antinous bruised after seeing him get beat up by the prince and some random teenager. Perhaps XL even convinces them that Penelope won't ever love them.

Hold them down and Odysseus still happen except they're a lot less because one, Ody has allies and two, less suitors

You might be wondering how XL gets back to his own world. Well, after OdyPen is reunited and safe (no more naughty suitors), Xie Lian’s work is done, he's not exactly needed, which becomes the catalyst first his third ascension (Don't worry about the logistics of Xie Lian ascending to his worlds heaven while in another world.)

For now that's all I got, perhaps more things happen that cause other tgcf cast members to end up in Epic, perhaps the story just goes on as it is without anymore mention of it outside of how it affected xl (and hence affected cannon)

I totally love the idea of this greatly affecting cannon somehow bur it not even coming up until well into post cannon

Hua Cheng trying to get out of calligraphy practice (xl isn't letting him flirt his way out but he knows how much his husband loves talking about swords): The craftsmanship of Gege's sword is very unique, would he perhaps te me where it's from?

Xie Lian: Oh, a goddess from another world gifted it to me

Hua Cheng:

[anneapocalypse]

Finished 7.1 MSQ! Some thoughts.

Overall I really enjoyed this patch. I was hungry for some more story and especially to see some more of Wuk Lamat, and excited to play through it all.

Grief and how people respond to it has always been a central theme of FFXIV to me, and I'm really into how it's being explored here. The first two things that stood out to me was that a) no one is really acknowledging Gulool Ja's position as successor to the throne, even in name (not yet king because he hasn't been crowned yet, but still the official successor), and b) no one comes at Wuk Lamat or the Warrior of Light to accuse them of killing their beloved queen. (Do the Alexandrians even know how Sphene died? I'm not sure.)

But as the story continued, I realized this made a kind of sense. Sure, Everkeep's systems has contingencies in place for the passing of a ruler and the designation of heirs, but her people probably barely understand the concept, except maybe as a historical curiosity if that. They are not responding to the death of their queen in the way we might expect because they can barely comprehend loss to begin with. They know in the abstract that people die; they have never had to live with the experience of loss, and they're completely unequipped to handle it.

And while Sphene's return did take me by surprise, it was the kind of twist that felt natural given the setup. This too is a running theme: where people cannot accept death, there will always be someone trying to bring the dead back. The guy who presided over the funeral (I forget what his exact position was) seems the obvious culprit, but he also couldn't have done this alone. I'm very interested to see where this story goes.

The dungeon was fun! A classic "evil science lab" dungeon, not a particularly novel concept, but fun gameplay and some great gpose opportunities for horror aficionados. (A shame it wasn't out before Halloween.) I Duty Supported it and died many times learning the final boss mechanics; I look forward to playing it again now that I know it a bit.

The Shaaloani parts of the story continue to bring that weird disssonent "we're not talking about colonialism" vibe. On the one hand I appreciate the respect given to the Hhetsarro, their culture and their knowledge of the rroneek, and that efforts are made to disrupt the animals' migratory patterns as little as possible. On the other hand we still have to accommodate the railroad. This aspect of Dawntrail's worldbuilding is always going to feel Weird to me; I don't think there's any way around it now.

I'm enjoying the continued themes around family. I was glad to see Koana get some closure on his own family of origin and the circumstances under which they left him. I never quite took his account of what happened at face value; it seemed like there had to be more to it, so I'm not surprised they followed up. Koana's a great character and I've really enjoyed seeing his growth alongside his sister's. It's great to see his willingness to learn, and his embracing the cultures of his homeland which he had previously scorned.

I was glad to see some follow-up on Gulool Ja's mother, as that was a big question mark in the main story. How it played out... I'm not sure yet how I feel about it? While the audio logs tastefully omit exactly what Teeshal Ja asked for and Zoraal Ja's response, it's still a lot to drop on a child. And I guess I might have liked a more nuanced relationship between them? But I'll withhold final judgment in case we find out more later. Regardless, I am glad to see more of Gulool Ja and his own journey of self-discovery, as well as Wuk Lamat's care for her nephew.

One thing that continues to linger in the back of my mind, really since 7.0 but the patch story brought it up again for me, is this concept of a ruler's personal relationship to her people. Dawntrail paints a very rosy ideal of a ruler who knows and loves her people, and then challenges that ideal, not only in setting up Sphene as a foil for Wuk Lamat, but also in showing us Wuk Lamat's struggles with wanting to help her people personally after the attack on Tuliyollal.

I don't really want to get into how There Is No Such Thing As A Benevolent Monarch here, because I don't know that "monarch" is really an accurate description of the Dawnservant, but that's also a longer and more nuanced discussion for another day.

What I do want to note is that the ideal Sphene embodies, the Sphene the Alexandrians mourn for, is impossible for an actual person. She's a queen who regularly turns up to personally cheer and comfort people when they're sad or struggling, and seems to know everyone personally. This may have been possible for Endless Sphene because Alexandria's population was relatively small and most critically, because she is a computer program. I'm not arguing for or against the personhood of Endless here; the simple fact that she doesn't need to eat or sleep or take care of herself makes her fundamentally different than a living person.

Koana and Wuk Lamat are living, breathing people who need to eat and sleep and have emotions about things unrelated to a programmed directive. Their interactions with the people of Tural do show how much they care about them! But they simply cannot be personal friends with everyone in Tural, or even in Tuliyollal. It's not possible.

Koana, I think, started out on the other end of the spectrum, too detached from his own people and their lives to make an effective ruler, something he is now actively correcting. Wuk Lamat, on the other hand, clearly has that impulse to be everyone's friend. In 7.0, we saw her struggle to accept that personally administering medical care to every person wounded in the attack was not her job and trying to do so was actively detrimental to both her personal wellbeing and her ability to do her job. Nonetheless, I think we're still seeing some of that impulse alive and well in her--particularly in the way she tries to intervene to offer comfort to the Alexandrians after the funeral, only to find that her overtures aren't helpful. It's something I'd be interested to see her wrestle with more!

On another note, and I'll fully admit to some personal bias here, but I do kinda hope the thing of making Urianger and Thancred this separate Unit from the rest of the main cast and sending them offscreen whenever they aren't needed doesn't continue for the whole of the patch stories? It's not that I need them to be onscreen all the time or anything, and I'm fully capable of enjoying story that doesn't involve them. All the same, the two of them got very friendly with Koana during 7.0, and it might have been neat to see their reactions to his character growth during the rroneek plot. Just as Krile and G'raha and Y'shtola don't necessarily accompany us everywhere, but are still around and have their role to play, it'd be nice to see Thancred and Urianger show up for certain moments as well.

And speaking of Y'shtola, I am even more hopeful that she's going to crack cross-rift travel after the setup in this patch! (Something which I'd say Thancred and Urianger both have a vested interest in!) Very curious to see more of how her work is going--and what's still lingering in Living Memory. I hope we get to spend some time in that zone in the next patch!

[lovemyromance]

Do ... do people not understand that the "classic" SJM love interest switch up is already happening... ?

Anti-Elriels love to make the argument that SJM never has a FMC end up with her first love interest (false: see Nesta & Cassian, see Bryce & Hunt) and therefore Elriel is not endgame.

Except. Y'all are failing to realize that Elain's "First Love Interest" isn't Azriel.

Some people would say it was Greyson. She loved that man. Enough to still hold out hope that he might want her even after she became fae. She wore his ring even after she was Made, and she wanted nothing to do with her mate because she wanted her human fiancée.

Now personally, I liken Elain's love for Greyson to be the same type of off-page relationship/love that Bryce had for Connor (rip). Like yes it's there, it was valid, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not really a focus moving forward.

Elain's actual "first love interest" is Lucien. And I know you might be scoffing - "But all you do is post about how Elucien isn't in love!" - correct. They are not in love. I don't believe they will ever fall in love. But I still believe Lucien is her "first love interest" because in the context of this argument specifically, "first love interests" are used as a bait and switch. They are one, among several options available to the FMC as she goes on her journey.

Elain may not love Lucien, but his mating bond with her is essentially the thing that creates drama-tension-intrigue. It becomes a "Will they or won't they" situation with the mating bond in play, and regardless of their current feelings for each other, it automatically makes Lucien a love interest for Elain. By that - I really just mean he is an option. Whether she likes it or not - he has a tie to her that she will have to either accept or reject.

And since Lucien declared "You're my mate" the moment Elain got chucked out of the Cauldron - he became a love interest in her story. The first (real option, since Greyson took himself out the competition of vying for her hand).

Elriel only became a real ship in ACCOWAR. Yes they have some subtle moments in ACOMAF that were cute (see: Azriel Allen Poe), but the first real time I thought they could be a thing was in ACOWAR. After Elain was declared to already have a mate.

You know what that creates? Say it with me now- Drama. Tension. Intrigue.

Elain is already technically tied to Lucien, regardless of whether either one of them wants that. But she still starts to develop feels for Azriel. She buys Azriel gifts for Solstice. She gives him permission to kiss her.

The switch is already happening people. The idea of a rejected mating bond is so original and contrarian and so new, it is exactly what SJM needs. And she knows that - because she's out here writing about how the mating bond can be rejected as early as ACOWAR. She's out here having multiple characters question the cauldron, essentially questioning fate. She's out here on the Today show talking about rejected mates.

Literally, verbatim saying "What if the forces put you with the wrong person?"

The "wrong person" here isn't Azriel. Elriel is not just an obstacle on the path to Elucien. It's the other way around, babes. If Elriel was simply just an obstacle, then Lucien would have received a POV, he would've been way more involved as the future MMC. But who is SJM choosing to spotlight? Azriel. He got the BC, he got the feature in CC3. And if you think this is SJM "just planning ahead" LOL. She's not planning ahead and building hype for the MMC two books in advance when she hasn't even tackled the next book yet.

However you look at it, the fates put Elain with Lucien, but she does not want him. Her defying fate to be with Azriel is the most badass thing anyone could do. But I'd expect nothing less from Elain 'Kingslayer' Archeron 💅🏽💅🏽

[xclowniex]

I don’t know if it makes me a horrible person but I’m actually kind of glad seeing Yuval (feels very weird saying that seeing as my uncle is called יובל) getting ripped to shreds by his ‘supporters’. Like, not happy, but just sort of satisfied??? I had to unfollow him when I was still on tiktok because he was promoting ahistorical bullshit and demonising Israelis. It’s extra shitty because the first ever video he made on the conflict was actually fairly balanced and recognised Jewish self determination and being indigenous to the levant, and then he deleted it, apologised, and started erasing Jewish history because he thought he could bend to these people’s will. His account prides itself on being informed and factual and fair, and yet he pulls a stunt like that, and I can only imagine how much worse he’s gotten since I deleted tiktok

We all knew that this would happen. The harassers knew it would, at least in their subconscious. It was only him who didn’t. They’ve pushed him to the very edge because now the baseline for being like them is to view the Shoah as a couple thousand people dying for basically being Christians, and it’s made special because they were white, and now that he’s stepped out of line a little they are coming for him. Maybe it’ll snap him out of being an idiot who sells out his own people so that he can be seen as a good person instead of like, actually being a good person. But he’ll probably just try to curry their favour again and fail over and over and over. Idk. It’s a weirdly gratifying but also incredibly depressing thing to see that what you predicted was going to happen was exactly right

(and I know some idiots are going to try to twist this into saying ‘you think fundraising for Palestinians is evil!!!’ because the anons you get are absolutely deranged. That’s not my problem with him or his account, wanting to fundraise for families is great and, as long as they’re verifiably real, it’s a good way to directly help people without their aid being taken away and siphoned off by Hamas. My problem with him is that in an effort to be the token Good Jew tm he completely revises history, spreads propaganda and false info, and vilifies every point of Israel’s life as a state. Plus he can’t even pronounce his own name right lol)

100% with everything you said.

I don't think you are a bad person for having a sense of "I told you so" towards what he is experiencing. It sucks and no jew should experience antisemitism, however two things can be true at once.

Its only natural to feel almost a sense of vindication, a "see look, I told you all this was going to happen and none of you listened to me and now you're suffering too"

I also agree that he will likely bend to their favor. He has shown some backbone in regards to his apology video where he stood behind his original message but apologized if his wording was off and re-worded his statement. This is all my assumption as I am not in his head, but I feel like his backbone on this came from sheer disbelief that face eating leopards ate his face. We may see this end up as a turning point where he stops pandering, or he might continue to pander either out of wanting to be accepted or because of other commitments like Ayame. She might not want to continue to make content with him due to the backlash and boom there goes his biggest series + a potential relationship as I'm unsure if it's just for views or if they are genuinely interested in each other.

[lizziiszs]

to be loved is to be known - hiori yo (+isagi yoichi!)

a/n: i just had this idea omg

content: not a ship btw!!! short nd sweet, fluff, hiori kinda starts to find out what love is, nerd yapper isagi

♡♡♡

to hiori, love is an entirely foreign concept. he hasn't experienced it and has no idea what it's supposed to look like or what it feels like. all he knows is that his parents didn't love him and that he definitely didn't love them whatsoever either. and on top of all that, being a part of blue lock doesn't help it one bit. there has not been a single game since the first selection that did not have some sort of severe atmosphere of anti-love (hate).

picture isagi and hiori scrolling through comments on interviews posted on the bastard münchen page during their free time. their attention lands on their most recent interview in which both were given an activity that involved describing abstract concepts like feelings or art. one player is instructed to describe a random idea and the other is to guess exactly what it is and within a certain timeframe. hiori, as he is however, struggles with defining and describing love to isagi due to his lack of experience, resulting in many of his fans picking up on it, showering his comments with things like:

Yo Hiori is so SO precious!! Someone please teach him what love is and ASAP <3

Whoever’s failed to show him love for the last 17 years should be publicly executed. Best believe you will be dealt with.

i love you no.23 please don’t explode

and so on. this, however, also includes those insane player background theories and makeshift lore analyses leaving isagi with the ability to only stare in awe at the sheer amount of hypotheses made and publicly posted about the origin and upbringing of co-player hiori yo.

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'man they really do love you hiori...in fact, you might be threatening my position as most loved bastard münchen player*.' you can see isagi working through yet another mental puzzle as he shares his findings with hiori, who stands confused.

'most loved?!'

'i mean if you put it into perspective, like this: tens of thousands of people go out of their way to make conspiracy theories about your home-life because they care about you, no?'

'no...'

'yes they do.'

'yer really beyond mad isagi..' hiori does try to comprehend the idea but to no avail; he simply doesn't see how the precious combination of time + effort + thought can be mistaken for love. after he reaches his conclusion of 'this is not love', hiori takes a glance over at isagi, who's still assembling his mental puzzle. after another short interlude, isagi finally continues:

'hiori, you gotta really think about it though, to be loved is to be known.'

'but these people don't know me,' hiori interjects. whilst that was poetic and all, it was neither original nor easy to understand. 'it actually feels a tad bit invasive y'know.' hiori's extended confusion, however, only makes isagi laugh light-heartedly.

'you're right hiori, they don't. which is why they do the next best thing: attempt to know you in order to love you.' isagi throws himself back onto his mattress, splayed out like a star. 'all of these people out there somewhere love you and they try to show it. to many, the best method to most happens to be the one which involves understanding every single one of your details.' as much as he'd like to deny it, isagi's stupid formulaic, chemical reaction analogy begins to make sense to hiori. if his parent's had truly loved him (or vice-versa), they would've made the effort to get to know him as a person. not only that, his newly-kindled passion and supposed love for soccer had been formed through a similar process: getting to know himself as well as the game. to be loved really is to be known.

and so if hiori yo were to love, at any point in the future, he'd look to get to understand and know what it is that he loves, inside and out. to be loved is to be known and my, isn't it good that he now knows?!

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i hope this was semi decent !! i have been awake for a whole day and cannot function x

*isagi is not actually the most loved bastard münchen player. although he'd like to be.

i actually dk who it'd be...

he's def up there thoughhhh :x