#i don't intend for this to be suggestive or anything but. idk

[p00kietin]

womf 👍

[therevengeoffrankenstein]

step 1: post "'we're pretty boys for secret girls' from 'austin, we have a problem' by fall out boy is a trans coded lyric."

step 2: turn phone on vibrate

step 3: ....

[shizumi123yuki]

“Oblivious”

Simon “Ghost” Riley x Fem!Reader

Summary: Simon remains oblivious, thinking the gestures are just friendly. When you suggested spending time together outside of work, Simon misunderstands, leaving you frustrated.

(This is just a short story, idk if i’ll make a part two but just comment your ideas and i’ll make one and tag you❤️)

———

The dim lights of the bar flickered as the sounds of muted chatter and clinking glasses filled the air. New York’s night buzzed outside, but inside, it was a quiet retreat. You sat at the bar, nursing your drink, eyes darting toward the entrance whenever the door opened. It had been a month since you'd seen him—Simon. Ghost. It didn’t matter what name he went by, the effect he had on you was always the same; magnetic, mysterious, completely and utterly out of reach.

You hadn’t expected to see him tonight. Simon was the type to keep to himself, often burying his head in his work or disappearing for days on end. But here he was, standing in the doorway, scanning the room as if he'd just come in to escape the chaos of the outside world. He locked eyes with you from across the room, and for a split second, your heart skipped a beat.

He walked over, silent as always, his heavy boots making soft thuds on the hardwood floor. He pulled up a chair beside you and ordered his usual; whiskey, neat.

“Mind if I join?” His voice was gruff, but there was a hint of warmth beneath the cool tone. You’d come to know it well over the past few months—after missions, during downtime, in those rare, fleeting moments when you could just be two people, not soldiers.

“Not at all,” you said, your voice a little too quick. You cleared your throat, shifting your gaze to your drink. "Rough day?"

“You could say that,” Simon muttered, taking the glass of whiskey the bartender slid toward him. He didn’t drink like most people—he didn’t savor it, didn’t talk about it. He just drank, like it was something to numb the world around him.

You fiddled with the rim of your glass, trying to ignore the butterflies that fluttered in your stomach. You had been trying to figure out when exactly it happened—when you’d started feeling this way about Simon. At first, it had been nothing more than a friendly camaraderie. But over the past month, you’d found yourself looking for any excuse to be near him, to talk to him, to make him notice you.

You felt ridiculous.

"How've you been?" you asked, trying to sound casual, hoping the question wouldn’t betray just how much you longed to be close to him. To hear him say something—anything—that might hint at the way you felt.

Simon leaned back in his chair, eyeing you with a raised brow. "Been good. Same old, same old. You?"

You bit your lip, feeling a slight blush creep onto your cheeks. You had so many things you wanted to say—so many things you wanted to ask. But you couldn't. Not yet. “Yeah, you know... same here.” you muttered, toying with your drink again. “Just trying to stay busy.”

Simon nodded, his eyes drifting over to the TV screen above the bar, which was tuned to some late-night news. He didn’t seem to notice the way you were watching him now, a little too intently. Or maybe he did, but he said nothing.

You decided to try something a little bolder this time.

“You're always so... serious,” you said, half-laughing to try and make it sound light. “I bet you don't know how to relax properly.”

He smirked slightly. “Im not here to relax. I'm here to unwind.”

“Right,” you said, leaning just a little closer. “But, you know, unwinding doesn't have to mean just drinking whiskey.”

There was a slight quirk of his eyebrow, but he didn’t seem to catch the hint. “Im not much of a ‘relax and chill’ kind of guy, you know that.”

“Maybe,” you muttered under your breath, almost wishing he’d just get it. “You could try,” you added quickly. “It’s not a bad thing. To unwind with someone else.” You tried to sound lighthearted, but the words came out a little heavier than you intended.

He chuckled, a dry sound that made your chest tighten. “Im fine. Don’t worry about me.”

You took a long sip of your drink, trying to hide the sting that echoed in your chest. Don’t worry about him? Bullshit. You always had, ever since that first mission you’d worked together. The way he always kept his distance, the way he barely spoke unless it was necessary, but when he did, it was always calculated, always sharp. The way he protected the team with his life but never let anyone get close enough to see the cracks in his armor.

You didn't even know why you cared. But you did. And that made it hurt more than it should have.

“So, I was thinking,” you said, trying to shift the focus, not letting the weight of the conversation crash down on you. “Maybe we should... you know, do something fun sometime. Like outside of all this.” You gestured vaguely at the bar, at the uniforms you both wore on missions, the responsibilities that always seemed to weigh you down. “Take a day off. No missions. No work. Just... normal stuff.”

Simon tilted his head, as if he were considering it. “Imnot really the ‘fun’ type,” he said, his tone so neutral it was hard to read. “But sure. If you’re up for it, we could grab a drink somewhere else sometime.”

Somewhere else? Your heart skipped again, but not in the way you wanted. It was as though you were still just teammates, still only worthy of a “let’s grab a drink.” No promise of anything more, no acknowledgment of the flirty hints you'd been dropping.

Is he... that oblivious?

You tried to swallow the lump in your throat, fighting to keep your frustration under control. “Right. Of course.” you said quickly, but your voice faltered slightly. “You’re not the fun type. I get it.”

Simon gave you a quick glance, then turned back to his drink. He didn’t seem to notice how you had tensed up, the way your smile felt forced.

"Yeah. Just not much for hanging out like that." he said, a shrug of indifference in his shoulders.

And you? You sat there, every part of you aching with the weight of everything unsaid.

[vagabond-umlaut]

summer collapsed into fall

summary: gojo satoru has no favourite colour. he feels no need nor interest to have one, either. pairing: gojo satoru x reader [unspecified gender] tags: slight undertones of teacher-student relationship BUT there is NO ACTUAL romance between them; can this be called pining? idk; character study like fic of our sweetest satoru *cries* he deserves sm better; fluff but with a mild serving of angst; wc 0.8k notes: fic title inspired by a quote by oscar wilde; fic inspired by this lovely post i saw on pinterest; jjk isn't mine; loosely related to 'you make my heart flutter and fibrillate'; tumblr hates me using dividers hence the new fic format ^_^

satoru doesn't really have a favourite colour.

it's never quite crossed his mind. and even if it has, he has never seen it to be important enough to allow it be anything more than a passing thought, a meaningless thought---it is not like his life will be impeded should he not have a favourite colour, nor is anyone ever going to ask him what it is, so why bother?

but now, as you peer up at him expectantly, having already listed your top five favourite colours and why you love them so, satoru wishes he did bother back then.

he decides to feign confusion.

"what?"

"what what?" you shoot back, eager gaze not wavering one bit, "i just told you my favourite colours; aren't you gonna tell me yours? it's fine even if you have just one, sensei."

but is it fine if he has none?

throwing his watch a quick glance, he turns back to you. then exhales a quiet sigh, tired but the farthest from annoyed, when he sees you're still waiting for his reply... shutting the bus window beside, he turns to lean against it, shifting to face you properly.

and sighs, decidedly noisier this time, "this isn't the type of questions one asks their teacher, y'know? they are too casual, meant more for a friend than for a teacher."

"you got to be the last guy to lecture me about etiquette, sensei," you retort without missing a beat, huffing a quiet, amused laugh.

"and after the time i had to bring you to ieiri-san after you passed out from drinking a bit too much: i guess we're a bit more than a teacher and a student, aren't we, sensei?"

not really... no.

while satoru believes your first point to be a debatable topic, he does not think the two of you are anything but a teacher and a student, no matter how much help you extended to him or will in the future---it's not like he isn't grateful, though. he is; he really, really is---it's just his belief that few acts of kindness do not necessarily cause a friendship between people, and he intends to tell you this very clearly---

but finds he cannot. he simply cannot.

not when you say, still so eager but with an undercurrent so achingly soft that even the strongest wonders if he can handle its weight: "i'm not that bad a friend, y'know---you can ask others if you want; they'll tell you i'm a good friend, not the best but a decent one---"

"why don't you guess what's my favourite colour?"

rude, yes, horribly so. satoru knows, he knows this very, very well. but what can a man do but divert when he's being unsettled by words like the ones you addressed to him, by the tenor you employed for him---

although now that he observes you consider his suggestion, the man wonders if diversion was the right tactic or not.

he could have just lied and told you any random color. he could have chosen to be honest and told you he has no favourite colour like you and probably the rest of the world have.

but no, he doesn't.

satoru does not opt either of the above two painfully simple, painfully easy options. choosing instead to ask you to guess what his favourite colour is... satoru never really anticipates he'll end up being this much more unsettled, thanks to his decision of diversion:

if there was a subtext of a haunting softness in your manners before, the sorcerer reckons it is the text now, typed out in bold letters then underlined and highlighted in neon---you too shift to face him, even moving the bag kept in between to your lap and shifting a bit closer, but still a respectable distance away---only to punctuate your effort with a keen stare, much too gentle, at him.

it's scary, he thinks. yeah, undoubtedly scary. but somewhere in the back of his mind, something says it's also comforting.

many eyes look at satoru throughout the day. they gape, they gawk, they study the man and every small aspect of his person with many different kinds of reasons behind them. but before today, there has never been anyone who has regarded him with this much care, that too for a nonsensical cause like yours...

he wonders, just what are you seeing in him?

just who are you seeing in him?

"it's orange, isn't it?" you exclaim abruptly, leaning a touch forwards with a snap of your pointer and thumb. voice too loud. smile too big. eyes too bright, way too bright---

satoru takes not even one whole second to decide:

he now has one favourite colour.

[ms-cartoon]

Charlie genuinley annoyed me this ep.

I get that she means well and didn't intend for anything bad to happen, but she was a real burden during her appearance here. I also understand that she has such high positivity about all the sinners in hell, but she needs to get a clue. She may be naive, but she's not blind. Actually, it's not really her that I'm annoyed with but more or less how she's written so far.

She tried to keep Angel from leaving the hotel because she wanted him to focus more on her redemption exercises and looking back on it, she was kind of coming off as selfish here. Uh, ma'am? Did it ever occur to you that these people have (after)lives to live apart from staying at your hotel? If Alastor is allowed to participate in his radio shows, then Angel can do his job as a pornstar. You do not need him to stick around that badly. He lives there! Your exercises can be saved at a later date.

That was her first step in being a nuisance, but then she makes it worse by showing up on Val's set unannounced. She really should've thought this through a little bit. Idk what she thought talking with Val would do for Angel. And when Angel frantically tells her to leave, she hardly bats an eye at this. Like he's obviously panicking as if he's going to get in trouble and she doesn't get a clue at this? Like I said- she's naive, but she's not BLIND!

Plus, you'd think that miss "I don't take shit from other demons" Would have a little bit more backbone in her when she's disrespected in the slightest. She literally gets harassed at work and she doesn't give Val a new one for it. Girl, if you don't rock his shit-!

Also, while it probably wouldn't have solved anything for Angel, maybe if Charlie just stood to the side and waited for the porn scene to end instead of talking to the film staff while they were in the middle of a shoot, things wouldn't have escalated to a literal fire hazard. And then she starts suggesting to Val of different scenarios for the porno they're filming?? Like- Girl, can you not--!

I'm sorry! I know this is coming off as ranting and not critiquing, but pondering about all this irritates me and I can't think straight when typing.

[daisymbin]

hi sweets 💓 this is my second req because your drabbles are seriously incredible. you're capable of eliciting so many different emotions in such a short space, it really speaks to your talent! can i please request suggestive #8 with jun x fem reader but she's the one saying it?

omg thank you for your compliment & kind words :(( yes, you definitely can!!!!

a/n: UGH i can't stop thinking about this...been thinking about this since I wrote it in the morning n idk why 😫

request your own: full prompt list!

check out my masterlist! // jun's m.list

suggestive prompt #8: you don't have to pretend to be innocent with me."

jun’s lips brush yours with a teasing gentleness that sends a jolt of anticipation through you. his hands are warm where they rest on your waist, but they aren’t doing anything. not pulling, not gripping, just... there. again.

you shift under him, deepening the kiss, trying to coax more out of him. his breath hitches, and for a second, you think he’s about to let go. but then he pulls back, looking down at you with that soft, careful expression that’s been driving you insane for weeks.

“jun,” you say, voice sharper than you intended, “what are you doing?”

his brow furrows, lips parting slightly. “what do you mean?”

“you’re holding back. again. i can feel it.” you sit up, forcing him to sit back too, his hands slipping from your waist. “you’re always so careful with me, like... like you’re afraid you’ll break me or something. why won’t you just do something?”

he stares at you, stunned silent.

you narrow your eyes, annoyed at his lack of response. “if there’s something wrong, just tell me. because it feels like you don’t want me.”

his head snaps up at that, panic flashing in his eyes. “that’s not true,” he says quickly, his voice low and firm. “it’s not that.”

“then what?” you demand, leaning closer, refusing to let him dodge the question.

he hesitates, his eyes flicking away from yours, his jaw tightening.

reaching out, you trace your fingers along the line of his jaw. his breath stutters, and you catch the way his hands clench into fists at his sides. “you don’t have to be so careful. i’m not glass, jun. i’m not going to break.”

his gaze snaps back to yours, wide and unguarded, and you can see the conflict in his expression.

“i—” he starts, then stops, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip.

you raise an eyebrow, leaning even closer until your lips are almost brushing his. “you don’t have to pretend to be innocent with me either,”

before you can get another word in, his hands are already finding your hips, his grip firmer this time. “you really don’t know what you’re asking for, baby,” he mutters, but there’s a flicker of heat in his eyes now, a spark that makes your pulse race. finally.

“don’t i?” you challenge with a smirk on your race, your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt, tugging him closer.

his control snaps.

jun kisses you hard, his hands tightening on your hips as he presses you back against the couch. his lips are demanding, his teeth grazing your bottom lip before his tongue slides against yours in a way that leaves you breathless.

your hands tangle in his hair, pulling him closer, and he lets out a low, frustrated sound that sends a thrill through you. his mouth moves to your jaw, then your neck, his teeth nipping at the sensitive skin there before soothing it with his tongue.

“this what you wanted?” he murmurs against your skin, his voice rough, his breath hot.

“mm,” you hum, your nails dragging lightly down his back. “finally.”

he pulls back just enough to look at you, his hair messy, his lips red and swollen. “you want me like this, dont you?” he asks, his voice low and almost accusing, "all needy, careless & rough." he adds, but there’s a wicked gleam in his eyes now, one that makes your stomach flip.

“maybe,” you reply, grinning as you pull him back down for another kiss.

he groans, his hands sliding up your sides, his touch no longer hesitant, no longer soft, no longer holding back. when he pulls away this time, his forehead rests against yours, his breath coming fast and uneven.

“you drive me crazy,” he mutters, his voice low and rough, the words more like a promise than a complaint.

“i’ll take that as a compliment,” you say, tugging him back down again.

this time, he doesn’t hesitate.

[rose-tinted-kalopsia]

casually adding onto this with my thought process for writing "don't let me love you" but—kieran's character is one hell of a ride guys i swear to you. i'm genuinely impressed at the layers they gave him liKE????? it's like there are so many calculated moves from him, but also so much of his character seems to lean into the role he has of serving sylus that it's so. fun to look into his dialogue?!

and like. first of all. his words are always so... sharp. he feels definitely like the harsher of the two, and as far as first impressions go he doesn't seem to be very fond of mc whereas his brother feels more open to the idea of her being around, he even goes so far as to take luke's taunting further with regards to the hallway which like,, idk that stuck out to me bc this was right after he witnessed luke get threatened and played 😭

and more than that, he also feels the most loyal/obedient to sylus. he seems to put sylus and sylus' orders first, mostly focused on duty before anything else—when we first see the twins he: (a) makes sure to injure mc's captor first and (b) simply walks off once sylus steps in (a la "my job here is done" vibes). it's a big contrast to luke who approaches mc first instead, and also lingers a lil to watch/taunt as sylus' evol strangles the guy

BUT SIMULTANEOUSLY . he's also always the first to extend a hand to mc, even if it means potentially going against sylus' wishes? which is so interesting to me. because luke might be more prone to expressing concern through words, and his tone of voice comes off warmer in comparison, but—

kieran, despite being generally colder/harsher with his tone, seems to show appreciation through acting on it.

in all three of those situations, he was able to garner that mc wasn't okay with certain things—(1) being "trapped" (although they were leading her to sylus anyway), (2) not knowing how to find the brooch (although the items they gave her were only jokes), (3) being wary of sylus and his intentions. and he's the one acted to provide some comfort, first.

in the first, luke might have tried to reassure her with words that it's better for her to stay, but kieran is the one who opens the door enough to ease her anxiety about it. in the second, kieran is the first one who speaks and suggests helping her at all, and granted, it gave her enough courage to do something risky, even if the given items were fake. in the third, kieran is the only one who addresses her doubts about sylus and deliberately chooses to reassure her—without intending for sylus to know of it, despite the loyalty he seems to have for him.

i.e how i wrote it in dlmly;

like do you. DO YOU SEE. do you see how many layers they haVE DESPITE BEING SIDE CHARACTERS AND HOW INTERESTING KIERAN'S PATTERNS ARE DESPITE HOW LITTLE DIALOGUE HE HAS. IN THIS ESSAY I WILL—

[cosalphonse]

i recently was gifted some 03 merch that i haven’t seen online and wanted to share! the two artworks on the left are somewhat transparent, i’m not sure what they’re intended to be but they are super cute! and i’m going to share some photos of the character collection below the cut - this will be a little long and photo-heavy! and disclaimer, i don’t have a scanner nor can i read japanese, so i’m just going to be sharing the pages most visually / conceptually interesting to me

our boy ed gets several pages dedicated to him, no surprise, but i really like this little collage of images with the episode numbers displayed. it also includes the iconic “love is love” thumbs up which is funny to me

al similarly gets a lot of pages dedicated to him, but this one stuck out to me as a cute comedic page - i wonder if the little red and yellow text bubbles under ed and al in the middle of the page are what they say in the scene or something original?

i really loved this collage in winry’s section! it highlights her outfits and, just like ed’s, gives us screenshots with episode numbers behind her

riza’s section has an entire page on her relationship with black hayate, which i just found delightful. i love that they include the crude sketch of him as the little thumbnail for the section lol

interestingly, hughes' section ends with this all-red page focused entirely on his death. this made me wonder, what do the book creators consider spoilers? they don't exactly shy away from the more spoilery characters later on and they pretty much document nina's story in its entirety, yet at the same time we don't get a lot of information about hoenheim, envy, or ANYTHING about the other side of the gate. so what's the cutoff here? the last ten episodes? either way, i just found it interesting

my girl sheska gets two whole pages dedicated to her! that's more than breda, havoc, maria ross, and most of the homunculi. good for her.

while i can't read what this says, i found it interesting that they put dante and lyra's pages together. i don't know if they give away the twist, but either way, they clearly knew what they were doing - even if the excuse is that they put lyra with dante since she studies under her

scar gets two whole pages!! DESERVED!! i love that they include so much of his story, especially his relationship with his brother and lust

speaking of, lust is the only homunculus to get a two page spread! they even gave us some scarlust crumbs....

just wanted to include pictures of the 03-original homunculi, it's interesting that they were put together! and once again, this brings up my questions of "what is considered spoilers"

rose also gets a two page spread!

and possibly most baffling is... CLARA gets a two page spread too? for a character who only shows up in one episode this is mind boggling to me. a lot of the 03 original characters get small highlights - archer, the tringhams, etc - but clara gets the largest spot. maybe her episode was more popular while this was being made, or the creators just really liked her, idk

well, those are all of the points of interest i wanted to highlight! if anyone has any suggestions on what they want me to share - specific characters, index information, or anything else - feel free to send me an ask! i'll put all the information under the tag #03 character collection

[zabchan]

I JUST got into hooked wayfinder and wanna know, do you think anything for Maui and Moana’s relationship being romantic be confirmed in the movie?? Or do you think the new male character will be more “intended” to be a potential partner? Honestly I’m not sure what direction Disney is planning to go, but I love your fanfics. I also see there was a ton of stuff that came out in 2016/17 for hooked waydinder ships too, such a shame I’m so late

:D welcome new friend! Realistically I figure we won't get any kind of confirmation in movie for a mxm romance beyond some highly subjective lingering looks- part of it being that moana is so heavily set up as a modern non-romantic princess. And that's not a bad thing! I'm 100% behind representation of well rounded self actualized heroines for whom romance is not a priority. its important for current and future generations to have role models who don't define themselves by their partners or partner-having potential, especially girls of color, who have gotten the short end of the stick for the majority of media history.

i personally ship moana x maui of course, because im a hopeless romantic and bisexual disaster for these two- but if moana never gets a romance it wont make me stop loving her character and story.

The other reason I doubt we'll see much overt romance is that Dwayne Johnson identifies so heavily with Maui that I can't see him comfortable with 19ish year old Moana being his self insert's love interest. especially with him wanting to fully act Maui in the live action. its one thing to voice some slightly suggestive and tender flirtations, its another to stare a teenage co-actor in the eye and not see very nearly your own daughters. of which johnson has 3, the eldest of whom is 20. (ish?)

Disney is not about to piss off The Rock.

I could write another essay on how Dwayne Johnson =/= maui, and while Mr.Johnson is entitled to his interpretation of the character he helped bring to life; I am also allowed to have my own interpretation, especially here, in the pseudo private realm. but I digress.

That's not to say there's not gonna be plenty of shipper fuel! I mean, idk if you've seen my unhinged screaming posts lately but

AHHHHHHHHH THE HUG! THE GAZES! THE MANHANDLING!

i can very easily see big dumb giant hints that at least moana has a crush on maui, and there is CLEARLY affection between them. at least in the promo material, the focus is on moana and maui teaming up again and we barely see her interact with our new storyteller apprentice & maui-fanboy Moni. he does hug her when he joins the crew, and we see Moni as the vehicle for several exposition dumps. I could see a possible romance, they have a shared interest in stories and on the surface he seems like a lovable cinnamon roll. (I'm projecting). i wouldn't hate that outcome. i also see him positioned next to Loni the ship-designer, our other near-moana's-age crewmate, fellow boat enthusiast and possible love interest *eyebrow wiggle*.

i headcanon moana as bi- altho thats not saying much, as i have a bad(?) habit of headcanoning EVERYone as bi

me, pointing at every character i remotely relate to: "youre all

so i can see moana happy with any of the 3 (maui, moni and loto)- or hell, why not all three?

i find it more probable that moni and loto get paired up as side characters, both of them seem enamored with the ideas of ocean-adventures; moni with his stories and loto with her boat designs, but not truly understanding the reality of seafaring. i can imagine actually going out and doing the things for real has quite a learning curve, and there's a built-in bonding experience. They start on a much more equal footing to one another than they do to Moana the chiefly hero, present and future legend.

as to being late to the fandom, heyyyy this is great timing!!! sequel hype is building, and im already feasting on the promo content- the actual movie release is gonna leave me feral for AT LEAST another year. if by November 2025 no one other than you ships moana x maui then I AM DEAD because aint no way they can squash my candle for this. even if the movie turns out shite i'll be there working on a fix it fic (that i will agonize over and probably never finish because of Who I Am As A Person but yeah know. #justadhdthings)

thank you for your kind words about my fanfictions, altho i read that & my brain immediately went "whoops i hope theyre messaging the right person, did they maybe mean to compliment @thehighpriestessofcuddles? or maybe @v8roadworrier?" because whohoo imposter syndrome. #justadhdthings

[suudonym]

thinking about the ring of gluttony

you may have noticed that in the official releases - both the anime and the manga - what fans usually call the "ring of gluttony" is instead called the "gluttonous feeder ring." this doesn't sound nearly as concise and catchy while communicating basically the same concept, so why'd they go with it?

the og name of the ring is 悪食の指輪/akujiki no yubiwa, where yubiwa = ring and akujiki, according to weblio (online jp dictionary), = eating things that aren't usually eaten, things that others would consider strange, or things that are crude/shabby/low quality. (it's also apparently a word for how eating meat is forbidden in buddhism, but I don't think that's relevant.) "gluttony" is a valid enough translation for this, BUT

this is a story about demons, so when we hear "gluttony," it's just a short mental hop over to the seven deadly sins. however, the jp wikipedia page for the seven deadly sins translates gluttony to 暴食/boushoku, a completely different word that weblio defines as overeating or eating voraciously - in other words, uh... gluttony. so actually, the ring and the sin have completely different names.

this isn't to say that there's no connection at all between iruma and the sin of gluttony, of course - our iruma represented gluttony in the 7-year anniversary artwork featuring all the deadly sins, and he's well known for inhaling way more food than he needs (i.e. exercising gluttony). but I think there's a tendency to see "ring of gluttony" and think that it has something to do with iruma embodying sin or that it suggests the existence of a ring of pride, a ring of sloth, etc., but these kinds of associations are almost assuredly not intended since, if the author did want to invoke that connotation, there's a different word that would have done so much more effectively

in conclusion official tls call it the gluttonous feeder ring precisely because it's not the ring of gluttony, it's the ring of will-eat-anything-indiscriminately. all-consuming ring? too ominous. all-hungry ring perhaps? or maybe they specifically wanted to use a word similar to "gluttony" as a nod at the demon-ish setting, since the og term uses the 悪 kanji (aku/evil/the first kanji in the word "demon")

idk! them's the thoughts for today.

[thecoolerliauditore]

big post now that the adrenaline is cooled down a bit. thoughts on each team so far.

overall: ohh I really didn't think I would be enraptured again I really didn't think I would be. Like don't get me wrong I'm not one for wanting the series to end or anything but I was very, very happy about the year long break after Secret Life because it was feeling like quite a lot of content to the point where it was overwhelming.

That break was crucial, I think, to the vibes since I don't know if it's just me but the players just feel like they have so much more energy and excitement for the new season. Etho and Mumbo especially are so quirky this session.

The new mechanic is. shrugs. Really no way to judge it yet seeing as we've pretty much barely seen what it can entail. The fact that everyone has six lives though is making me think some of them are gonna be crazy in future sessions cus that's a ridiculously generous number otherwise and I assume Grian doesn't intend for this season to be twice Third Life's length.

EIGHTEEN PLAYERS! EIGHTEEN PLAYERS! Lizzie, Mumbo, Rendog, Gem 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 I don't have much to add I'm just so happy we're finally getting a season with All of Them. Rendog Ren Ren Diggity Dawg I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

The lag on the server looks um ..... ? Aternos lookin ass. I hope it doesnt impact them too much beyond this episode and they get that fixed cus whoagh that is um bad. Joel being soooo fucking angry about it is so funny please never change Joel.

~

Renwood Mound: First of all horrid name but I would be disappointed by anything less sexually suggestive. Second of all please check up on your Treebark mutuals this is a difficult time. Refeeding syndrome might just kill a couple of you I'm so sorry.

I'm not a big Ren/Martyn understander but my dash has been more celebrating their reunion than crying tears of anguish like the other toxic rebounds (ethubs, tango, pearl) that have popped up so I can only assume it's going to be okay we're all gonna make it.

If they do stay as a duo this season is going to be crazy for Martyn specifically I think. He's already gotten the betrayal he wants, he's already achieved the villainous role he so wants to play, and now it's just him and Ren together with no Dogwarts to lead. I genuinely have no idea where this one will go. o7

~

BAM Boys: I really hope the "boys" part stays in the name despite Lizzie joining them at the end for my very specific Lizzie headcanons. It would tickle me.

Anyway we're finally freed from the grasps of blue man and get the Scar/Jimmy team up this time with added Lizzie flavour. I'm very excited and like. I've seen a lot of people doubting this team will go far which confuses me because I don't know if you guys are aware but Scar won last season. And Lizzie, despite her early death in SL, really is no pushover either (she had one of the highest body counts in LL and I wish more people talked about that).

Scar specifically is in a great spot with pretty much full diamond armour already. He gets all giddy while mining and says to himself something like "ooh I get to share some with Jimmy!" which is so sweet to me.

Scar remaking the reputation board from Third Life is actually insane. What is he doing.

All this to say I think this team looks wholesome and I'm optimistic for their future. This could be Jimmy's Mounders. Or it could be Fairy Fort 2 idk let's see.

~

I think Bigb's possessed again.

~

The Hobbits(???): Hilarious to me that they stole Flower Husbands' original branding. Anyway Grumbo is back idk if I know them well enough to make a statement but I'm mentally chucking them into the toxic rebound box in my head just to get the number up.

This is the POV I've seen the least of but they seem fun. I wonder if being out of the horrific environment that was the Southlanders will do any good for Grumbo's relationship. Skizz being there also tends to bring the mood up 400% (unless it's Dogwarts).

~

Joel & Gem: IM SO EXCITED. This is pretty much the Bdubs/Joel team-up I wanted originally but now we get Ethubs too which is even more awesome for me. Very cringe take from me but they are both shounen anime.

Despite what Scott says I really don't think they'll "spontaneously combust". They're both high energy and aggressive but historically loyal to the people who accept them, the sample rate for Gem is not exactly scientifically viable but. Vaguely gestures to all of Secret Life.

I kind of wanna see Gem kill Pearl.

~

Whatever the fuck the Ethubs + Tango team is called: Why.

No like seriously Tango I thought you hated these bitches why are you third wheeling them. He's also surprisingly Bdubspilled like he sides with him on the horse thing and tries to warn Bdubs about Etho lying later. Like, don't get me wrong I really don't think Tango has spite for Bdubs comparable to like. Pearl for Scott for example but he certainly isn't fond of him after he um Fucking Murdered Him and was completely unapologetic.

I'm not really a Tango guy so I can't speak on what's going on inside his head regarding that it's just. Interesting to observe. At least the brief ranchers interaction was cute (and really funny to see in the background of ethubs yelling at eachother).

Anyway Ethubs are insane. It's so funny to me that their horse argument literally lasted an entire in game day.

It's fun for me specifically because I always viewed Secret Life as somewhat of a soft end/reboot point for the series for multiple reasons - the year long hiatus, scars win bookending things really well, pearl and scotts arcs wrapping up (oh how naive) and, of course, the conclusion ethubs reached.

I think I've made a post before about how beautiful of an ending SL is for Ethubs. The distance allowing them to overcome their own personal issues with Bdubs learning he's capable and to care for people who aren't himself or Etho and Etho learning relationships don't have to be minefields, leading into HC10 where Bdubs moves into the rural countryside away from everything and Etho hanging out with his new coworkers at the post office. They can still talk and visit, of course, but the time away from eachother does them wonders and adds a bit of hope for how they will be in the future.

So how should I even fucking feel about Etho pulling a Limited Life and almost killing Bdubs for a prank. Or Etho asking Bdubs what he's done for him. Or Etho in general being a little shit about the horse thing and Bdubs being equally stubborn.

Bdubs even kinda?? Talks like they're a couple who've gone to therapy with the "I should express how I feel and how I feel is.." and the way he catches himself when he's halfway through yelling. Like I'm not insane you guys hear it too right.

Like don't get me wrong I'm very stuck in my ways of insisting Ethubs isn't really toxic, at least not anymore, but I can totally see someone else being horrified by them and I would cheer them on for it. This episode is especially going to be horrible for that person. At least for me it seems like Bdubs' character development is very real i.e. him rejecting Etho's chestplate with the classic "I can take care of myself", a stark contrast to LL/DL Bdubs and he bites back when Etho is weird.

I have hope for Ethubs is what I'm trying to say and it's totallyyyy not because they're my first ship and I'm biased. I need to figure out what's wrong with Etho and why he's doing this. I saw a post that theorized Etho wanted Bdubs to get mad at him and kill him this season which I'm rotating a bit but I'll have to keep watching. Ethubs girls we're in for it we really are. Tango girls I'm um sorry.

~

PICS / the Islanders: My 13th reason why.

Trying to not repeat too much here from whatever happened to me emotionally last night but this is what hell looks like. It's what I expected but like. DAMN. I wasn't expecting it to be. That bad.

Seeing a lot of people say that the team is just. Pearl, The Horrors and Impulse who is just 🧍‍♂️and I don't think that's completely wrong or anything however ☝️I must say that Impulse continues to frighten me and him being here is making me personally shake like a chihuahua. Like I can't really explain his character if you put a gun to my head I just think the guy might have some issues communicating emotions and prefers to hold grudges/be passive aggressive like with the psychological horror that was the impdubs DL POV and I can't imagine him being particularly Good for Pearl. Also he's done several insane things in the past e.g. the Bdubs grudge, laughing at Tango when he tries to kill himself in SL, being excited(??) for gem to kill him in SL, trying to kill Skizz in SL wow wait maybe it's just proximity to gem and scott that fucks this guy up. Idk though I don't trust his ass.

Anyway. Yes like we are all Martyn Inthelittlewooding it up for Pearl in here. I have so many somewhat misogynistic fantasies in my head about her being saved by Gem or Bdubs or Joel or Bigb for that matter. Emotionally that's what I would want. HOWEVER I don't think that would actually be anything that would help Pearl in fact I think she'd just run back to her team because she's loyal like that. So now I kind of just want to see the consequences of her actions. Whittle her down to nothing 💥💥💥💥💥It would break me it genuinely would.

Cleo fucking catching herself and correcting "trauma" to "damage" mid sentence is insane can we kill. can we kill them.

So yeah um I'm excited for this season

[moonpie016]

I'm not going to bust into your house today, crawl through the window, or speed walk. Just chilling.

Don't really have much today, I was going to make something (a fully made drawing or a little silly thing.) But no. No I just doodled again.

---

---

Extremely high swings outta the way.

But we have.... Ok they still don't have names. Odd but nothing significant comes to mind (pun not intended), can't think of anything. Maybe I'll ask for suggestions (idk when, or from who.) But whenever they (the Heart and Mind) get names, I'll show em.

Yeah the three little dudes just having a great time at the park, Seeds ("Soul") is in the back drawing, and the two are enjoying the swings. Well, Heart is. Mind not so much. Which fits.

Guess depicting Mind as anxious and with more miniscule surface looking fears is nice. Might be a silly, unimportant thing to most, but not to him. So he avoids them to not look like his other half. Afraid of taking risks. Heart shows his fear by his actions, Mind however, is internal.

Seeds is what I'd do in any situation, Mind too. But Heart? Enjoying the moment even with the growing "what if I fall and hurt myself?" is wanting to be an afterthought.

Guess making these drawings are the only way I can write them. I can't just already know what a character does, I need a visual to understand them and then know what they are. Or do. Sometimes.

Annddd sooooo ART. :]

That and songs of course.

---

This became somewhat of a ramble. I just wanted to explain the picture annnnd then it became a thing to say. But that's what this place is meant for. To show my ideas and thoughts. And lots of random thoughts I have, whether on topic or constantly shifting to something unrelated.

But anyways, I hope you enjoy this doodle.

(Idk when I'll get anything I was working on done. I guess a bunch of drawings will do until that happens. Plus motivation. :] )

---

[teruthecreator]

(tw for racism, pedophilia, transphobia, child impregnation mention)

yeah idk why y'all read this

i was originally going to just post this and have some tags with my reasonings, but i realized that opens me up to too much bullshit from people who may think i'm being unnecessarily mean or whatever. so i'm going to explain exactly why the screenshots above are something i hold issue with.

firstly, and i just want to get this out of the way, this post is not intended to be a hit piece against the creator. i've seen how she reacts to any mild-mannered or slightly joking criticism, so i know this post is probably going to not land well. but it isn't my intention to make her mad or anything--she's writing a piece of content for the internet, which means she is just as open to criticism as any other poster. and what i intend to go into in this post is criticism. i'm allowed to do this, as that is the nature of the internet. people are allowed to critique whatever they please, and if you don't want critique then you shouldn't post. simple as!

i am also making no attempts to posit myself as better than the creator. i'm not doing this for clout or moral superiority or any of that dumb shit. i simply want to discuss something that's been bothering me for a bit, while simultaneously warning people who haven't read this yet (who may be sensitive to the issues above) to steer clear. if things like casual racism or transphobia aren't properly tagged, then readers who are affected by such things run a risk reading this! same goes with people who are triggered by lewd content involving minors. i wanna make sure people are getting a more critical scope of this work than what has been hoisted up by others.

okay, now that i've gotten that out of the way, i'm going to get into my points.

firstly, the subtle and not-so-subtle racism throughout this fic, especially in relation to serizawa. i'm white, so there is only so much i can speak on without trampling over the words of other fans of color, but some of this feels so blatant it's odd it hasn't been noted earlier. it's important to note before i go into it that serizawa is specifically written as half-black half-japanese for this fic, in case the screenshots don't make it abundantly clear. but there are just too many moments of casual racism in this fic. i'm not talking about the plot point of serizawa being bullied as a kid for being mixed; i'm not mixed, so i can't speak on the accuracy there but it is well-known that black people face a lot of racism in japan. i'm talking about how it seems everyone else has these racist moments that aren't acknowledged by serizawa or the narration as being bad.

reigen hypothesizing over serizawa's exact ethnic background is just strange. yes he's a fairly observant guy (he has to be, with his job), but there is no canonical evidence to suggest he would immediately jump to theorizing whether serizawa is american or not. and the way it's posed in that first quote--"he has darker skin and the kind of hair texture that would likely indicate African ancestry"--is not great. that's an extremely inappropriate way to bring up someone's race. i don't think most people would stare at someone and be like "hmmm well your nose shape and hair texture would suggest you're of this race". it's racial essentialization that is only slightly covered up by the excuse of "oh he tweets in english". there are some other smaller moments of questionable wording, like calling serizawa's afro "sloppy" when it isnt (which btw there's another issue with the creator only referring to an afro as a "fro". it's a hairstyle; you're allowed to use the actual name of it). even if reigen cuts his hair in canon, he never states it's because serizawa's afro looks sloppy. (also there's something to be said about the casual racism baked into making your employee cut his natural hairstyle for a job, as that is a very real issue many black people face when wearing their natural hair or even protective styles in the workplace.)

i'm especially bothered by toichiro's very casual racist remarks. toichiro in this fic is a general bother of mine (most of which can be boiled down to "he would not fucking say that"), but the way she chooses to characterize him in relation to serizawa feels gross. calling a black man a slave should be a very obvious red flag, but also saying serizawa (again, as a black man) has a "brutal masculine appeal" is also extremely stereotypical and racist. and really there is just no need for it; toichiro's actions in canon prove how shitty of a guy he is without the need for him to be racist (along with other things i'll get to in a bit). as my girlfriend put it: he doesn't need to be a member of the fucking kkk to show he's a bad guy.

there's also, again, the very casual racist remark of calling serizawa a "dog". i don't care if that isn't the intent; when you are writing a character of color you need to be aware of your wording, even in insults (unless she intended to make tsuchiya racist, which i don't think she did).

secondly, the eugenics/child pregnancy bit. it is surreal to even have to write this, but i seriously do not understand the purpose of either of these bits in the story. they are so minor yet so jarring you can't help but wonder why they're there. once again, i do not think you need to have toichiro doing esper eugenics just to prove he is an evil guy. he has nuance, and by making him casually reference child pregnancy (like that isn't an INSANE thing to say) reduces that nuance to nothing. that's the only reason i could see why that bit was included: to make toichiro look worse. but, even still, the author is running the risk of potentially triggering victims of csa or people who don't want to see that by not properly tagging the mention of it (or, at the very least, warning readers in the intro notes). the only other explanation for it would maybe be shock factor??? but that's a pretty shitty thing to use for shock factor, if i'm honest. also the fact that the esper eugenics was referenced again in a more recent chapter just has me very disturbed and confused. there isn't a canonical explanation for why we see less espers who are women than espers who are men, but that doesn't mean we need to jump to fucking Eugenics. it's weird!

thirdly (and this is probably one of my biggest problems and the main reason i wanted to make this post), the weirdly lewd/sexual language shou uses constantly, along with referring to reigen as a pedo or a creep at several points. frankly, i think it's pretty fucking gross for someone in their near-40's to be writing a 12-year-old talking so casually about sex like that's normal. which, i'm sorry, but it's not. yes, teens know about sex and like to joke about lewd shit. but a 12-year-old is not about to make references to a grown man's virginity. 12-year-olds draw dicks on their desk bc they think it's funny. 12-year-olds say the word "buttfuck" because it has the words "butt" and "fuck" in it, and those are the two funniest words on earth to a kid that age. i literally do not understand the purpose of having shou be so lewd all the time. for one, it doesn't make sense for his character. shou is shown time and time again to be extremely mature for his age, but that maturity extends to shit like assembling a counter-terrorism unit and extending a hand to his father to allow him to try again. and even then he's still just as naive as any other kid his age! the omake where he's telling his guys to go to the "far right corner" based on ritsu’s advice proves that he still has plenty of blindspots that are indicative of his age. leaning into this raunchy, lewd version of shou is just weird. and, again, i think it is made a bit weirder given the author's age!!! not ageshaming or whatever--i'm 23 and i write fanfic, clearly i cannot judge there--but it is just extremely inappropriate in my opinion. also having shou be more versed in sextalk than serizawa is odd too and speaks to a larger issue of serizawa's infantilzation throughout this fic, but that's something i can get into in another post if people want an explanation.

also, the way she constantly calls reigen a creep and even has him being accused of being a pedophile during the twitter cancellation is extremely inappropriate when, again, there is NO CANONICAL BASIS FOR THIS! everyone just calls him a fraud and a scammer during separation arc; there is never a reference to reigen being seen as a pedophile in that arc. and, yes, while there are versions of mob psycho where reigen is very clearly written as a creep (looking very specifically at the netflix adaptation), that doesn't mean it's good. honestly, the creep mentions all just feel like really poor jokes that do not land in the slightest.

finally, the transphobia (aka WHY IS SHIMAZAKI A CHASER). i literally do not know what else to say other than: why? why is this a thing? why is he a chaser? what is the purpose of this? is it a joke? i feel like it's supposed to be, but seeing as the author is cis i don't think that's a joke she should really be making. it not only comes out of left field, but it's just kind of a weird thing to ascribe to a character for no reason. not to mention, it's uncomfortable! trans women deal with enough creepy antics from cis men in real life--why must they be accosted by this guy too? it's just weird and uncomfortable.

i wanna round out this post by saying, once again, that i'm not trying to attack anyone with this post. but i do hope people come away from this with a new perspective on this work, and maybe think twice before recommending it uncritically to someone. to the author specifically, i hope you can read my post without rage or indignance blinding you. i might be a little blunt or rude in parts, but it's only because i'm passionate and i don't mince my words when it comes to things i'm passionate about. to the readers, understand i am not judging you for reading this fic without noticing these things. your own life experiences will give you certain blindspots and there's nothing wrong with that. i have plenty of blindspots of my own! it's what makes us human.

there is more i could say, but this post is long enough. i ask that if you come to me in my inbox or in dms about this that you treat me with respect, as i will do that for you. writing something like this took a lot out of me, as i'm usually not so open about my opinion on shit like this.

have a good day :-)

[qqtxt]

i was thinking… what if yeonjun or beomgyu x fashion student s/o who mainly uses(idk if this is the right word😭) him as their muse and makes all projects and stuff based on their bf,,?

ahhh this is so cute!!! the way i jumped at this bc it made me giggly :") i explored a little for both, so hopefully that's okay! >:D enjoy!

✿ pairing: beomgyu x reader, yeonjun x reader (both separate scenarios!) / non.idol!au / college!au / reader is a fashion major / fluff / minor cursing (none with ill-intention!) / word count: 242 words (beomgyu's), 284 words (yeonjun's) ✿ in which your favourite person is your muse for your creations and he's a little more than "okay" with helping you out... [masterlist 🌸] / yeonjun's is below the cut!

[🐯] accurate depiction

beomgyu adores being by your side whenever you're in your creative zone of doing sketches for upcoming designs. by no means is he a fashion student but he admires it all the more considering it's you. he had offered his lap as your seat a while ago and he's quietly watching you sketch the designs. 

paper after paper, sketch after sketch, it's the current one that you're working on quirks a smile on beomgyu's face when he notices the hairstyle, the silhouette and features of this one looks oddly like someone he knows that he suggests–"the arm should be a little shorter than that,"

with a raised brow, you lift the pencil from the paper to look at beomgyu, "hm?"

"i mean if you want it to be more accurate. my arm's shorter than that."

beomgyu watches as his words sink into your brain; clicking in your mind that you know he knows you're probably going to ask him to model for this new set of designs. (as if you hadn't asked him for the previous sets before that)

"it's okay, as long as it'll fit me properly when it's made," he snickers, resting his chin on your shoulder. you look back down on your sketch and don't intend on changing anything but the decision to add a small scribble of slightly shorter arm length made beomgyu chuckle as he presses a kiss to your neck and resumes being a quiet watcher.

[🦊] got it

"what's it going to look like this time?" yeonjun asks, trying to look at you despite the fact you're trying to take his back measurements. 

"it's going to look like the wrong size if you don't stop moving." you quip back and he quietly follows suit to stay still so that you can take the numbers to his body figure properly. when you've got all the details you need from him, you go back to the table only to have yeonjun's arms slide around your waist to get a peek at–"c'mon! i'm the model! shouldn't i get to look at what it looks like?"

you intend to cover it up with your hands but... with the way he's pleading with his best puppy eyes and a jutted-out bottom lip, you sigh and move your hands from the sketch for him to get a look. initially, you were feeling a little antsy about the design but the way yeonjun's eyes light up and the gasp he lets out is more than enough to reassure you that–"it looks amazing! i can't believe i get to wear it!"

"you think it's cool?"

"cool?! i think it's fantastic!" he exclaims–excitement buzzing his veins–but after a couple of beats, he notices the small smile on your face that settles on your lips. it was uncertainty, the anxiety lingering in your veins. he focuses on you now, gently turning you around so he can get a good look at you.

"it's as amazing as you are. and you should feel confident and proud," his hands cup your cheeks, giving your head a light shake, "got it?" 

gingerly, your hands reach up to lap over his with a grin, "got it."

[dufferpuffer]

Concept I don't want to forget: One of those time travel fics where Harry goes back in time to help Tom not become Voldemort. Basically: + Harry teaches DADA and Albus teaches Transfiguration. + Harry is at odds with Albus, wanting to take over 'watching over' Tom with his own methods - but Albus won't be pushed out. + Albus is obsessed with Harry, who is a suspicious enigma. It isn't the first time a younger man with a mysterious past and skills in dueling has stormed into his life... as worrying as it is captivating. + Tom gets two dads who are both very intense about him.

Dippet is like "Albus you can't be DADA teacher next year either - we need a Transfiguration teacher too badly" or whatever. Albus sad... he wants to do DADA... if only he wasn't multi-talented... :'^(

Some young adult man with messy black hair, scruffy beard, sparkling green eyes and a scar on his forehead enters the room. "We've hired Professor Harry Potter to fill the role - he has proven more than capable. I expect you to show him the ropes, Albus."

Harry has been 'traveling', apparently, between the wars... Gellert has also been traveling... not a member of the 'main' Pureblood Potter family, but Potter is a relatively common name... "Didn't go to Hogwarts, home-schooled - please show me around, Professor Dumbledore." Harry lies - but Albus notices he seems extremely comfortable trotting around the halls... Harry is extremely comfortable with high-difficulty dueling spells, even some Dark Magic - but average at everything else. A warrior...

Harry is DEDICATED to his goal: 'fix' Tom to stop him before he can do any damage. He has big sympathy for him and isn't really thinking of anything else. This leaves him being a bit cold, serious, focused, confident - lacking hesitation... dark, mysterious, handsome man.

For Harry, Albus is a means to an end. He does feel more comfortable with him than most - but this isn't HIS Albus. He will cozy up to him enough to ensure he can tag along to Tom Riddles orphanage.

Albus is a sharp man. He can tell something is off with this guy, nothing quite adds up... and he is hooked. He justifies it as being suspicious this has something to do with Grindelwald. He has a conspiracy wall - acts friendly, passive and charming and at the end of the day adds another pin to the board of "Who is Harry Potter? Where did he come from? What are his goals?"

Albus does his regular Orphanage routine - trying to calmly connect with this special boy, enamor him to the Power of magic but insist it is at the price of Responsibility - while also giving him freedom and trust to do things himself... ...but Harry came with him, agreeing to let him do most of the talking: but goes all 'Strict Parent' about it: "No, Tom - I think we should go around now and give back all these toys. Then we will take you to get your school supplies - No, Albus, we CAN'T let a young boy shop on his own." (Harry suggested the suit he wore. The one he compliments in HBP.)

Albus' 'keep an eye on someone' is incredibly hands-off. Harry knows what Tom will become and intends to step in and do differently, even if he has to drag a then-innocent boy by the ear. Honestly he is a bit too strict with it - but he is haunted by the deaths he causes in the future.

As Albus is HELLA suspicious about Professor Potter focusing on this only slightly odd boy... he inserts himself into Toms life more than he ever had before, while Harry is trying to push him out.

Basically Tom suddenly has two dads that are intense about him... but even more intense about eachother. Harry gets Albus as the friend he never quite managed to be in life. Albus is 'fixed' by a hot man who came into his life like a storm.

Something happens with the war idk haven't thought that far

Harry definitely stops Riddle from opening the Chamber alone. He was going to stop the death of Myrtle and the expulsion of Hagrid at any cost. He goes in with him and they have a bonding moment in Parseltongue they agree not to tell Albus about. When Albus finds out Harry can speak Snake and knew about the Chamber etc - ?????WHO IS THIS MAN????? is refreshed.

Harry is weird about romance because this is DUMBLEDORE... but its also NOT Dumbledore... understandably difficult to process.

Albus thinks Harry is weird about it because Homosexuality. Albus is weird about that, too - he pretends to not feel anything. Also last time Albus fell for a mysterious younger man adept at dueling who stormed into his life from a mysterious past it didn't go very well. His nose is crooked to remind himself how well it didn't go.

[acupofselfcontrol]

Tw ana rant that's basically a mass of barley readable text (friend knows somewhat abt my ed now and idk how to feel):

my friend knows about my ed, or at least that I have issues. I'm not worried cause they also have issues with food (though they approach them physically healthier than I do, eating more cals/day, having treats whenever they want, etc) like i know they have problems with food but in a different way than I do and I suspect they've had some issues with b1nging. (they've never said this but i'm super observant of people and small comments they make so I know stuff about basically everyone that isn't obvious to most and they don't realize I know)

for context we've had kinda like small nonchalant exchanges before that kinda hints to both of us having issues except the difference is they don't really hide their cal tracking and etc much so it's kinda a known thing (at least to ppl close to them) but for me literally no one but them has suggested anything about me having issues -this is a little 👎 cause that means it's not noticeable to others yet but today/yesterday i've been having this weird like moment of clarity from my dysmorphia and realized I do look much different than literally last week let alone when my ed began so i'm sure it'll be noticeable to others decently soon- and just in general no one has any idea about my ed

so basically we were together at lunch, they had just bought this massive candy cane cookie and offered me some (I refused politely) and I was eating my protein bar (like picking off teeney tiny bites at a time) while they ate their cookie then they're like "what else do you have that's not enough for lunch" and we ended up kinda talking abt my calorie intake and because I absolutely despise lying to friends I admitted that it's pretty normal for me to have like 700 cals a day and they also know I exercise every day in fitness class as well as at home. This all kinda started at them trying to give me a bag of mini brownies that they had intended to give whoever they ate lunch with and I politely refused again, so for the rest of lunch they kept trying to get me to have at least one (i'm proud I didn't, also lowkey proud that I knew the cals in them just by looking at them {about 55/brownie}

I feel shitty because they said they're gonna worry about me and I genuinely do not want that but at the same time I feel kinda good because 1. they're someone i'm super comfortable with so if anyone was gonna find out first ig i'd like it to be him 2. because of their issues I know they aren't gonna tell any adults

and as much as I feel like a shitty person for saying this, refusing the cookie and the brownies made me feel so strong and validated

anyway yeah idk how to feel or what to do

(if you read this your a real one lmao i'm mainly posting it as a non coherent rant but also sorta in case anyone has advice🤷‍♀️)