#i don't have a tag list D':

[takemealivelh]

you wanna wait till tonight? || l.h. (part two)

it’s 2018. after last night, luke and daisy deal with the consequences of their reckless and restless fucking. it all goes to shit when they hook up again.

tw: cheating. mild sexual content.  

i know i promised this a while ago. i hope the wait was worth it.

part one

2.6k FEEDBACK IS ENCOURAGED AND APPRECIATED

“can i have your number?”

“no.”

she leaves the hotel room with her shoes in her hands. legs too shaky to wear heels right now. fuck. that was hot. that was actually so fucking hot she can’t believe it happened only two minutes ago. she’s still trying to regulate her breathing. how can you treasure a moment in your memory in a way that you can experience the same body response every time over and over again? she waits for the elevator. alone. it’s 3:23 am and she needs to go to sleep. hadn’t intended to stay out so late, just a quick fuck to feel better about herself. but luke had been so relentless. for so long. and now she can’t wait to get a cab and go pass out on her bed.

luke lays on top of the white comforter, naked. he looks out the window and sees the empire state. what a gorgeous view. he can’t believe he didn’t get her number. alright, i’ll give you mine then. and now she has the upper hand. his stay in nyc doesn’t end for another three days. he hopes she calls. or texts. maybe he can ask around. someone from the crew must’ve brought her to the party. but who?

they both sleep, thinking about the other. the body heat and the moans in the room. it would’ve been cool if he’d gone down on her. he seems like he’d know what to do.  why didn’t she give him her number? he really wants to see her again before flying back to la.

sun is shining through the window. it’s 8 am and his phone is going off. fuck quickly, luke picks up. “what?” he’s rather annoyed. “hey man,” michael sounds tired too. “car’s here in twenty. we’re having breakfast downstairs.” “right, right. give me five.”

what the fuck do i do with this number? she doesn’t want to just throw it away. but she can’t call him, can she? he’s a rockstar. it’s probably the number to a chinese place. and she can’t humiliate herself like that. not again. his name was sam. he was british and was playing gigs, trying to make it in america. she never really found out if he’d made it or not. she kinda just moved on really quickly.  she only goes to bed with rockstars she’s not that familiar with. maybe she’s heard them on a spotify playlist. 5 seconds of summer was an intriguing name but she didn’t really explore much further into their discography other than that song youngblood and that killer queen cover from the freddie mercury biopic. they were good, and their set was tight. she saw the show from the last row of the left gallery. hypnotized by how whiny the frontman’s seemingly perfect voice sounded, she decided she was gonna fuck that rock god that night. and she did. it’s called manifesting. 

after a quick shower, luke puts on pants when his phone rings again. he figures it’s another one of his bandmates, wondering where he is. it hasn’t even been that long, he rolls his eyes in silence. the ring insists and he checks the screen name. “hi love,” his voice is a little raspy and he clears his throat. “show was great. wish you were here,” he smiles into the sentence as he runs his fingers through his damp curls.

“where did you disappear to last night?”  “uh... was just tired, really.” luke shrugs off the question and reaches for a tall glass of orange juice. no one says anything and he looks at the three of them as he drinks. they avoid eye contact with him, he notices. “you’re awfully quiet today.” it’s uncharacteristic of them to not be chaotic at every meal. luke sets the glass down, “what’s up?” “nothing man, we just thought this was, like, a guys trip,” michael starts complaining and shrugging his shoulders to show his disappointment. calum sets his fork down and pats his friend’s back, trying to comfort him as he looks at his other friend. the one who bailed on them last night. “now you’ve made mikey upset.” ”don’t call me that.” luke frowns, kind of not understanding what’s going on. they know he still fools around on tour, don’t they? this is the second encounter of the american leg. did they seriously not know? “you need to get your shit together, man.” ashton cleans his glasses on his shirt and puts them back on. he hates that luke does this. his girlfriend doesn’t deserve it but it’s not his place to tell her anything. so, he keeps his mouth shut around her. but it’s gonna be real fucking hard once they go back to la because luke has been a stupid motherfucker since the european leg of tour. ashton sighs. there’s a family having pancakes on the table next to them. the little boy makes a mess with the syrup. his mother wipes his face clean with a napkin while his father talks business on the phone. “we need to get going,” michael finally breaks the silence that’s been reigning for the past three minutes. “interview’s in an hour.”

12.14 pm breakfast has been on his head ever since. he wasn’t really concentrated in the questions the radio host was asking them. luke could only ask himself two things. why do they care? why hasn’t she texted? it hits him like a flash. the small talk they had in the cab on the way to the hotel. “you liked the show?” she nodded. “and i liked the way you move.” a small smirk on her lips, making him blush a little. “thank you guys. we’re off the air.” luke followed his bandmates out of the studio and into the dressing room. “you okay?” ashton pats his back. “yeah.” he checks his phone as michael gets a bottle of water from the mini fridge and the other two sit on the couch. why hasn’t she texted? it’s not like they’d had a meaningful connection, not really. it had been mind-blowing sex, of course. but that’s not enough to know someone, is it? did he learn anything about her as she sucked him off? he knows she’s daring, she’s spontaneous and confident. and he likes that. he also knows real life will eventually happen in a few days. but he just wants to stay in the fantasy a little longer. he’s been with his girlfriend for a year and things are hard between them. at least with daisy, this new york girl, things seemed to be easy. until she left. and now he’s wondering if he misinterpreted the whole thing. “hey, dude,” michael greets the crew guy that walks in with the new itinerary. he hands a copy to each band member. “did you have fun last night?” the guy shrugs his shoulders. “remember i told you i’d gotten a date outside the venue? well, she ditched me. probably left with someone else.” luke’s eyes burn the screen to avoid the man’s stare. did he steal his date? “shit,” calum pats the cigarette pack in his pocket. “was she the one who sang love is a battlefield at the bar afterwards?” “nah.” luke’s heart pounds in his ear. “she was wearing this over-the-top makeup. like, orange eyeshadow and shit.” he remembered that hue well. it was a glossy finish that glistened under the moonlight. he appreciated when she closed her eyes, because he could admire her freedom of expression. his stomach sinks. he feels so bad.

daisy gets back to work from lunch. she’s a broadcast technician in z100 new york radio. when she walks past the dressing rooms on her way to the studio, she hears a familiar voice. the door is half open and the sign reads 5 seconds of summer. “fuck,” she curses under her breath, picking up the pace and refusing to look inside.  “hey layla,” she sets her bag on the chair next to the broadcast console. “is teddy done editing?” the other woman nods her head as she chews on gum. “he said he’d drop the script by on his way to lunch.” 12.45 pm “alright,” she sighs and runs a hand through her long, wavy, brown hair. sitting down in front of the mixer, she opens up the radio software and starts setting it up for the next transmission in fifteen minutes. “you should’ve come here earlier, though.” “why’s that?” “this band, 5sos they call it... like, those guys are fit as fuck. like damn.” daisy tries to fake a laugh, “did they leave already?” as soon as the words leave her mouth, teddy -a man in his fifties, and the producer of the show- walks in with a binder and hands it over to the girls “so, the frank ocean interview fell through. and rick called in sick, so we’re gonna just play singles for the rest of the day. you girls can go home if you want. i can take it from here.” bubblegum pops in layla’s mouth. “don’t have to tell me twice.” “oh, before i forget. daisy,” teddy points back to the dressing rooms. “luke is asking for you.” the woman frowns in confusion. layla widens her eyes as she looks at her co-worker. the man doesn’t seem to notice the awkwardness in her body, and so he leaves. “who’s luke?” “shut up.”

the door is half open and he sees her walk by. how couldn’t he when her boots made such a squeaky noise? he remembers that spongebob squarepants episode and he smiles, and then hates himself for it. she looks like a diamond, jeans and a green tank top. he wonders what her eye makeup looks like. he sits on the couch with ashton and calum. they don’t talk to him. haven’t uttered a work since teddy came by and luke asked about her.  a knock on the door. the blond springs up in half a second. he clears his throat as michael rolls his eyes and brings his stare back to his phone.  “uh, hi,” daisy’s voice is cautious when she peeks her head inside, immediately focusing on luke’s tired smile. his leather jacket makes his shoulders look ridiculously broad and she tries her best to keep the composure. if no one else was in the room, she probably would’ve jumped him. burying her hands on his perfect curls. their lips biting each other’s. the rest of the band eye her. she won’t come in and ashton immediately picks up the dynamic. she’s the girl. she’s the girl luke cheated on his girlfriend with. at least one of them. he’d interfere, but his friend looks like there are no thoughts in his brain. just the face of the girl in front of them.  “the producer said you were asking for me?” “um, yeah.” he nods imperceptibly, feeling his hands go cold all of the sudden. the tension in the room is too much. the rest of the band hates him, he just wants that woman in a bed. wants that pretty blue on her eyelids to glisten. “can we talk outside? i wanted to ask you something about the interview.”  worst excuse ever. “oh, okay.” her head disappears and luke walks out of the room. he stands close to her, close enough to smell her shampoo. she shoves her hands in her pockets and looks around.  “you didn’t text.” daisy shrugs, “i didn’t think you’d show up at my work.” “i didn’t know either.” they fall silent for a few seconds before layla shows up with her purse in her hand. “you ready?” peeling her eyes off luke’s, daisy nods her head.  “we gotta go,” she tells the man. “meeting,” she lies. “um... alright. can you... i mean, if you want we could... i mean, like...” layla looks up at her taller friend. she can tell the man wants her to himself. “actually, molly cancelled the meeting,” she chimes in, putting a hand on daisy’s shoulder. “this one’s free.” daisy calls layla a motherfucker in her head.  “we have soundcheck for tonight’s show actually.” luke looks for daisy’s eyes. “i was wondering if you wanted to check it out.”

she’s not sure how she ends up in a car with him, but it doesn’t matter anyway. his hand is on her thigh, dangerously close to where she’s throbbing. she breaks a small sweat and looks out the window. luke wonders if he’s pushing it too far, and he’s about to remove his hand when daisy closes her eyes, rests her head on the back of the carseat and parts her legs a bit wider so luke can grab her flesh. a smirk on his lips.  “calm down,” she chuckles, feeling his eyes burning her body. the man has electricity running through his veins. she’s a shot of adrenaline. a boost of serotonin and dopamine. every good drug he’s ever done, he’s as intoxicated with her, completely lucid. “i want to fuck you tonight,” he murmurs close to her ear. the driver doesn’t seem to listen to whatever the two are doing. daisy chuckles softly. that small laugh that makes her lips curve into a devastating smile. “you wanna wait till tonight?” she whispers back, looking at him through thick eyelashes and so much lustful energy. his knees are weak.

the band walks up onstage. ashton tries out the kick, calum plugs in his bass, michael adjusts his pedals and luke grabs the mic. he looks up at the balcony in front, daisy waves at him. the venue is a thousand-seats club in manhattan, and when she found out they were going to play at the irving plaza, she got even more excited. she’s always wanted to come here for a show. the place really is beautiful. “one, two... hello we’re 5 seconds of summer,” luke speaks into the microphone and the whole place resonates with his voice. “should we start with want you back?” he asks his bandmates. none of them says a word, but ashton nods and counts a one two three four with his drumsticks. can't help but wondering if this is the last time that I'll see your face? luke’s eyes focus on daisy and he sings those first two lines as if they were directed at her. 

it’s all kissing and grinding against the wall of the bathroom. they’d locked it.  there are no words in the air, just the faint sound of their heavy breathing. lips on lips on skin on lips. he doesn’t wanna talk, just needs to eat her whole. it’s the only thing that keeps his racing mind shut down. the whole thing with the band, it guilt-tripped him. the judgy looks and the ambiguous sarcasms they’d given him, it all fades to nothing when he is as intoxicated by her lips and her skin and the way she drags him closer by his shirt.  daisy can’t help it, she knows he’s leaving and this might be a bad idea, because she can’t get attached to someone so good leaving so soon. but his hot breath against her neck before he licks the spot that makes her skin bristle, they have her stupid. just the thought of how big he is against her leg. she reaches down to palm it and luke moans a bit louder in her ear. “you like this?” she whispers, feeling his thigh tightening against her core. she’s wet. and the natural lubricant makes it easier to roll her pelvis against his pants.  it’s hot. it’s wrong. it’s a forbidden passion. none of them want to stop. because if they do, they’ll know they’re fucking up. and why feel shitty when you can feel this good?

[asukachii]

"Why don't YOU drive for once?! Ya idiot!"

"BECAAAAUUSE! I... can't.. drive these things!"

[bonus]

(I don’t like putting watermarks so, PLEASE, if you want to post these gifs somewhere GIVE CREDITS! Also, don’t use them in edits/videos. Thanks~)

[elizabeth-mitchells]

Rules: list your ten favorite characters from ten different fandoms and tag ten people!

tagged by @lilolilyr thank you so much! <3

1. Laura Lee (Yellowjackets)

2. Juliet Burke (Lost)

3. Robin Buckley (Stranger Things)

4. Caitlyn (Arcane)

5. Ayesha (We are lady parts)

6. Dani Clayton (The haunting of bly manor)

7. Sister Camila (Warrior nun)

8. Sam Fraser (Fear Street)

9. Shelby Goodkind (The wilds)

10. Harrow (The Locked Tomb)

tagging (no pressure!) @rebeccamarinwife @ongreenergrasses @deerest-deer @gay-fandom-menace @malikson @lais-a-ramos and anyone else that wants to do this!!

[batsplat]

ok, in light of casey and vale’s reunion at the ranch. what are your top 5 or maybe 10 motogp feud developments of the year? could be something like casevale link up or someone saying something insane or it could be some insane fact that you’ve uncovered this year which changed/added to your perception of some rivalry?

excellent ask. obviously I got sent this around the time of the actual ranch visit and prevaricated on answering it, partly because one of my personal top three feud related revelations had not as yet been posted. now it HAS been posted - and while there's other as-yet-unposted material that would probably make this list, I'll have a crack at it with what we've got lol. also, this isn't a particularly balanced list... because obviously 'stuff I've found out this year' is a pretty big caveat. I haven't found out that much stuff this year! generally it's been to do with sete/valentino tbh, and most of it is stuff I've been sent by other people. I've been slacking on doing my own feud research. so as much as I'd like to sneak in a dovi/jorge cameo or whatever, unfortunately there's quite a few feuds where we are currently in a bit of a stagnation period... no real advances in the field I'm afraid. I've decided to go for the nice and round number of six items as nobody's attention will last that long anyway. no need to overdo things

6. casey mentioning valentino's qatar 2007 head rub three times in his autobiography: okay, look, there's a slightly irritating element to this discovery in that... y'know. I could've figured this one out YEARS ago because it literally just relies on reading casey's autobiography closely enough. which you'd think I would have done by now. the process by which I cobbled this one together has been documented here, and now we obviously also have a lovely gif of the moment itself at our disposal. just to refresh everyone's memory, even the bloody photo itself made it to the autobiography:

I love this! casey's so deeply weird about valentino and he's so repressed about it and he lets it slip in such funny ways. such a short moment for it to live so incredibly rent free in casey's mind. as always, it is important to note that casey is not giving an accurate recollection of events. I have little way of knowing whether valentino was still friendly to casey away from the track - but I can use casey's own metric of direct post-race interactions and tell you categorically that valentino continues to warmly congratulate casey after early 2007. there's this fun little technique I use to assess casey's claims called 'the power of my own eyes'

mugello 2009 first time vale lost his home race in a bajillion years and this is how he acts with casey on the podium... let's start a conversation

the underlying reasons for why casey takes such liberties in narrativising the rivalry have been previously discussed in much depth in this parish - and as ever it is fun and neat to note how casey's narrative has become accepted because he has taken advantage of a prevalent narrative about valentino and his affinity for feuding. old tricks used against the teacher!! mainly, though, this kind of thing is a fun little reminder of how rewarding it is to do a lot of reading between the lines where casey is concerned. he does let a lot slip, if you know where to look

5. jerez 2024, the weekend experience: I was thinking about putting something related to the pecco/marc set-up for next year in this post but quite honestly I am increasingly pessimistic about how that will unfold. like,, I do think there's plenty of stuff there and that in this kind of scenario any two of prime jorge, casey and valentino would start stabbing each other, any two of prime jorge and valentino could get something going with pecco, and marc would start a war with any of those three. but I'm just not convinced about this specific combination... and sometimes it's a good idea to set your expectations low. so unfortunately we continue to have to rely on old feuds to keep us fed, which means that valentino's link to pecco somehow remains the most surefire source of narrative tension. I don't particularly like this state of affairs and maybe somebody below the age of 35 should start pulling their weight, but it is what it is. sometimes you just have to contend yourself with archival research. anyway, I really enjoyed jerez!! it was fun having valentino there for all that stuff, the marc/pecco duel was only second to jorge/pecco sepang in terms of on-track thrills, plus repeatedly cutting back on marc does kinda feel like #heritage at this point. grateful that bez moved his ass once this season to get valentino to parc fermé

but above all I really enjoyed that valentino description of marc - how marc attempts to show his superiority over his opponent and that 'when he sees that you are less strong or are already bleeding, he bites harder'. that's lovely stuff. obviously valentino is correct in his assessment of marc... but what makes the whole thing more fun and dramatically juicy is that especially that second part is even more true of valentino himself. valentino sniffing out weakness is basically his entire MO as a rider, including in very practical terms how he likes to study and put pressure on his opponents during races. he's also someone who's always liked to attack from a position of strength - you see this most obviously in the 2008-09 period and it is something jorge himself acknowledges quite explicitly in his biography. idk, something about seeing a little bit of yourself in your enemy... and yeah, 'biting your rival harder when they are already bleeding' is just such a poetic little phrase that I've made heavy use of it since then. old man's still got it

4. what hrc was told at qatar 2004: this is another one of those slightly annoying ones where I suppose I theoretically could have found this out years before I did, but. having finally had the chance to watch the footage from that route 46 route 93 documentary and the bits about sete, twas very much worthwhile. I really enjoyed what valentino said, just a nicely rich text especially given the scarcity of comments he's made since 2004 - but I was particularly interested in the testimony from juan martinez, sete's crew chief. both of which are discussed in some depth here. as far as I can tell, martinez did quite literally say him and sete talked to hrc about the little grid rubber trick valentino's team pulled, which?? he claims it's for 'safety reasons' to try and convince them everybody needed the track cleaned - which is all well and good, but you don't need to be a witch to guess what hrc was going to do with that information

this testimony plus a few more details I've unearthed but haven't posted - primarily relating to the actions of fausto gresini and other honda bigwigs that day - make me increasingly convinced that valentino did have a legitimate grievance at qatar. including directed towards sete. obviously, the manner in which he responded to said grievance was still completely mental... but idk, I'd always had a sneaking suspicion that there had to be something to valentino's accusation. which makes sete's arc throughout that 2004 season and especially from qatar to sepang even more interesting!! I do think he wasn't being entirely honest in that sepang presser, but I also think he panicked a bit for fairly understandable reasons. idk obviously this is just such a fascinating few weeks for everyone involved, so I'm thrilled how I've found out so much more about that time period in such a short amount of time. again, mostly not off the back of my own research!! but I am grateful for what I have been allowed to Divine

3. valentino's podcast adventures: I still haven't talked properly about what valentino said about jorge but I will and I should, because those bits are all pretty enjoyable and fit into the rivalry write-up I did earlier this year. also, the casey stuff was excellent!! more of the valentino ambition vs casey talent theme, plus just some fun descriptions of laguna 2008 I will absolutely integrate into my long post about that race. nothing NEW exactly, but it's always nice having someone confirm your working. and the marc stuff was really fun!! obviously I was particularly keen on the alzamora stuff because I've always felt like there had to be more to his role. the argentina 2015 stuff is just really interesting in relation to what jorge has said (perhaps reflecting paddock gossip at the time question mark) that marc felt valentino deliberately made him crash, so you get into this excellent mutual j'accuse situation. and assen!! obviously valentino's description of marc's attitude isn't particularly novel since it does chime with what we have actual footage of in the presser, but the idea of a private lil confrontation is so much fun. especially paired with marc saying at sachsenring he felt assen was his best race of the season!! 2015 is one of the best puzzle box seasons to try and unravel what 'really happened' and why - and we really haven't gotten new details from one of the two blokes involved that often over the years. always appreciate some additional insight

and obviously the best bit - zero mention of sete. friendships, rivalries, even feuds can fade... curses last forever

2. the 'ciao sete' shirt valentino wore in 2004: which has now been posted here, god bless. this has been living rent free in my mind for weeks at this point, not a day has passed where I haven't thought about it. it has singlehandedly made motogp-blogging on this website worth it because I doubt I would have ever discovered it myself. I love this so so dearly. look at this absolute cunt

a third t-shirt has hit late 2004 feuding towers

first of all, that's a dyke aunt. that is a mother. some deep concentrated evil lesbian energy. I'm not straight but he can get it. second of all, what the FUCK is wrong with you. the best part is that this has been sent to me along with a steady diet of extra details confirming they were like. properly properly friends before all this shit went down, which makes every additional feud-related revelation particularly wild. they were close!! it's so brutal, it's so malicious, it is INCREDIBLY funny and I laugh every time I see those photos. I love the playful edge, the double meaning of 'bye thirst', that marriage of joy and cruelty that is so quintessential to the arc he goes on that year. just having a laff... one dead, dozens injured. I feel like I increasingly have a handle on why valentino went SO far with sete and what it was specifically about losing to sete that drove valentino nuts, which does also leave me with rather a lot of sympathy for poor sete in all this. endless ritual humiliation is one hell of a punishment for your former friend to inflict. that being said, unfortunately it is also hilarious. ah well

1. CASEY VISITED VALENTINO AT THE RANCH: casey!! visited!! valentino!! at!! the!! ranch!! CASEY VISITED VALENTINO AT THE RANCH. out of NOWHERE too, just suddenly opened tumblr to a bunch of asks and messages on a random sunday evening. I'd previously expressed myself sceptical on the vale/casey dinner front, feeling rather safe and secure in the knowledge they had not done so in the twelve years since casey's retirement. which, y'know. fantastic timing, lads. but I still think my reasoning mostly holds up - obviously, this was a more casual 'valentino harassing casey into sticking around' affair and not quite the soul-searching soul-baring exercise in exorcisms casey might be looking for. and idk, just vindicating of my general read of that relationship. casey's feelings towards valentino are extremely complicated - this weird cocktail of how he feels about valentino as a person and then valentino the character and also valentino the literal embodiment of the sport. valentino doesn't hate casey... and crucially, he also does not seem to particularly mind casey's bi-yearly habit of talking shit about valentino. I mean, come on, SOME of that stuff must get back to valentino. I'm consistent in my stance that - while casey obviously has plenty of legitimate grievances - I do also think valentino could reasonably take issue with some of the ways casey has characterised valentino and their rivalry. if valentino has his complaints, he's clearly not about to share with the class - and there's really not any bitterness whatsoever in how he's talked about casey these last few years. he's content to pass the reigns to casey in narrativising their rivalry to the public. pretty interesting, no?

idk, I like how true the entire ranch visit felt to their dynamic... valentino might have done what he needed to do to beat casey, but there was never any real personal animosity on his end - at most their intense bickering during 2010-12, but even there it was never that serious to valentino. and now, that's all done with as far as he's concerned... the door is open, if casey wants it to be. and casey, always just a bit more cautious and wary and far more conflicted, who clearly still has all these grievances relating to valentino he needs to share with the world... but when they're actually face-to-face, those have always had a habit of falling away. valentino in all his boundless enthusiasm and sincere belief that casey is as good a rider as they come, dragging around his erstwhile rival to proudly show him around his precious home. and casey, who once idolised valentino and perhaps even wished they could have been friends, allowing himself to be dragged along. it was sweet... it warmed my cold dead heart. I liked it. and I am going to laugh very hard indeed when casey gives his next interview discussing how valentino taught him about the horrors of the human condition

[fraternum-momentum]

Color Legend: Pink prompts are kink related Dark Red prompts are gore related Black / uncolored are general or both

I made a personal prompt list for october :]] I obviously won't do it all but I'll try my best !

[solitarypisces]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment, Impact Wrestling | Total Nonstop Action Wrestling Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Chris Sabin/Alex Shelley Characters: Chris Sabin, Alex Shelley Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Human/Vampire Relationship, Vampire Alex Shelley, Human Chris Sabin, Vampire Sex, Dry Humping, Not Kayfabe Compliant, I got really vague with the setting and where they are, So you can decide what company they work for and where they are!, no beta we die like Chris's Sabin's infamously fragile knees Summary:

Shelley hasn't fed in a while. Sabin offers himself up.

[cordiallyfuturedwight]

fave kpop releases | first half of 2023 ╰ cr. palette movie poster; insp. @sevencoloredstar 💫

[svtskneecaps]

thank you for bearing with my purgatory posting and i'm also glad to see i'm not the only one who still has this fungus eating away at my brain matter. seeing other purgatory posting in the tag makes me feel better lmfao.

i'm not done btw, posting will (probably) continue as i revisit vods. wanted to extend a thanks in the interim, since i know how contentious the event was in the moment. i kinda thought the general consensus was most people hated thinking about it, but there's been a weird amount of engagement and yknow other people talking. makes me happy to know i'm not alone here!

[taruruchi]

Send this to all your favourite moots and pass the pumpkin round! KEEP THE PUMPKIN TRAIN GOING 🎃🖤🎃🖤🎃🖤 🎃🖤🎃

AWWWWW OMG THANK YOUUU!!! Right back at you <333

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

WIP ASK GAME

Rules: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPS. Free for all

@atuats-sidechick and @moldygreenblue thanks for tagging me! ^w^

Oh boy, I don't really have a "Wip" Folder. TT0TT It's more of a "multiple folders scattered across my computer, see if you can find them" jkaljfdsa My WIPS are usually edits, coloring, or video based.

Some are really WIP and aren't done.... But some of these are technically done.....but I just didn't want to release them for whatever reason (I still wanted to work on them/want to add to it, or thought it could be better and wanna start over)

Kyoshi......Rangi......final.......final final....ok for real for real

new all animated.4

Yangchen cry

gremlin rangi

moel animation

p3rfes (dunno if I'll finish this tbh)

[therevengeoffrankenstein]

for pride month, i figured i'd do a non-exhaustive list of people/looks that have given me gender envy and inspired my sense of style as a transmasculine fellow.

this post is about to be long and also likely 'cringe' (which is dead, so i do not let it dictate my decisions, but just in case a non-mutual reads this and wants to send me hate-mail for my 'bad' taste: I KNOW.) since it includes several people i worshiped as a tweenager. if you don't wanna see me talking about five billion emo men, then you probably don't wanna read this :^)

mulan (1998) was one of my first experiences with gender-nonconformity and experimentation. her dissatisfaction with living as a woman and her shame with feeling that way deeply resonated with me, and her transition into ping lit up light bulbs in my tiny mind, as well as the scene in which she is outed against her will due to an injury.

-

from a very young age, i've always kinda wanted to embody the swagger of freddie mercury. i would say that as a 6 or 7-ish year old i experienced my first bout of true gender envy over him. i wished i could look and sound like a man because of him. i ended up shoving down these feelings for many years due to internalized shit and outside influences. yet he still remains forever in my heart as a major influence both as an artist, an outfit composer, and a person.

-

eddie van halen is cool as shit. idk man. i dig his style. these patch work pants did irreparable damage to my psyche.

-

ryan ross was a big idol of mine as a tween and still continues to inspire me to this day. i wished i could do my makeup like him and have his fop-y floppy 60s mop cut, which was probably the beginning of my obsession with having hair that looks Like That.

*bren.don. ur.ie gets a dishonorable mention here bc i don't wanna talk about him but when i was 13 i also wanted his p.o. era mop sooo bad like soo bad i was planning on getting my hair cut like that for real but instead life happened and i haven't had my hair cut since like 2019 and now i've committed to it being a mile long.

-

pete wentz is at the forefront of writers that i would say have influenced my works. his influence is just about inseparable from anything i've done since 2018 at least. he just, like, gets me, you know? including, of course, his fashion sense, which lingers still through my daily wardrobe.

on the right, i added a pic of him recently that made me lose my mind.

-

i'm grouping william beckett and gabe saporta together because both are scene fellows who had lesser but still notable affects on me. the former's hair and the latter's sense of style have stayed with me all these years for a reason, and that reason is because i wish i could look like them.

-

renfield is just like me for real so of course i wish i could steal dwight frye's gender. the suspenders plus the vacant, hazy look in his eyes did things to me.

-

the man, the myth, the legend, my most special of interests, mr sir peter wilton cushing obe. if i love him, and i feel unloved, then i must act like him and sound like him and look like him to feel truly loved, right? because i want someone to love me to the extent i love him? because i hate myself so much? it's psychosexual to me in a way but also 100% from my heart. i need to look like him ^

he cracked my egg. which i will be getting more into in the next entry. but! basically i realized that maybe it isn't normal to want to look exactly like a man, deeper voice and flatter chest and all. and then i was like what is stopping me from being trans actually besides other people's disapproval, which i had at that point stopped letting get in my way. so trans ellie canon and real from this point forward.

-

sherlock holmes is an entirely separate entry on this list than peter cushing because sherlock is a fictional character that has been portrayed in many different mediums and by many different actors, many of whom i at least kinda want to look like.

but most of all, i want to be like him, the idea of sherlock holmes. a protector who saves the meek and weak and who persecutes the oppressors. he is good, he is just, and he is loved by nearly all. also he is a major fucking nutjob, like me. he inspires me so much. this yearning helped me realize who i wanted to be, who i am. it makes my heart glow with hope and pride knowing that someone who so obviously has so much 'wrong' (wrong like me) with them can not just be a hero, but also one of the most definitive heroes in history.

-

adam ant's gnc swag.... idk man he ignited my historical obsession with highwaymen.

-

final thoughts:

i am so happy to be a trans fag ! my life is so much better since i realized that i am a boy ! 🥰🥰🥰 i am trying to experiment more with my appearance and i am loving it.

[violetsareblue-selfships]

good morning!! :3

[necromancy-savant]

Who remembers the time in my first year back at college at a new school when, in my first ever Linguistics class, my professor asked me to research alternative terms for "penis" on Urban Dictionary?

@memey-dreams

[possumkingluca]

...And that makes 2 out of 4! I'm getting there slowly but surely Let me introduce you to.... Aero Krause! The complete bastard of a Tiefling Wildfire Druid in their Prismari uniform and their post-module homebrewed second half outfit.

[laughinglynx]

.

[eri-pl]

A different fandom, but: bold of you to assume that I have one consistent personal headcanon.

Arguments about what's canon and what's not in SW fandom are kinda pointless, I know for a fact that every fan has their personal frankensteined version of canon based on what's best for their own blorbos. I love picking up a random licensed book to sneer at half of its ideas and then steal the rest. Some shows and books and comics and whole movies are simply not incorporated into my belief system. That's how we roll