#i don't feel much better about it and maybe i never will but i think that's fine

[midnite-c6]

Sequel to the thanos x namgyusgf!reader? 👀👀

hmmmm alot of ppl asked for pt. 2 of that one fic so heree, love u all anons!!

pt. 1 here <3

thanos (choi su-bong) x namgyusgf!reader pt. 2 warnings: 18+, cheating

already ⁠nsfw below!!-> (⁠��⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

つ⁠｡⁠☆ ..after what felt like the most awakening time of your life, realizing how much you'd miss dick. you're thankful for your amazing friend, su-bong, there to make you feel full again. "you're so pathetic." su-bong blurted out, after hours of only sitting in his lap, escaping reality, that's what he chose to break the silence. "fuck off.." he chuckles, "mmm, of course i wouldn't call you that. your boyfriend did." you'd freeze for a moment, excuse me? he'd play the video he sent to nam-gyu a few hours ago, hearing your muffled moans against his cock, how you were gagging against him, it was only now you'd hear in the video:

"nam-gyu, this bitch is actually so fine, why are you ..fuck.. neglecting her, huhh?" why is it only now that you're hearing this? "i toldcha' bros before hoes, but never hoes who give good head." you could even see him pull on your hair harder as you cry from choking against his cock.

within your view was nam-gyu's reply,,

"that bitch is so fucking pathetic."

you were literally about to cry, they're both fucking jerks, "you sent that shit to him??" you've been caught, not even caught to be honest, he fucking outed you!! what are you gonna do now? you swear you were an angel ! "don't worry, i was just bragging about you, trust me, i'm sure he's learnt his lesson." you'd get off his lap immediately, slapping him across the face, and he immediately wraps his hand around your neck. "whatcha tryna do? learn your place, slut. you're the one who wanted it." "that's fuck- i -" you can't even defend or explain yourself. "you did that shit sober too." his stupid giggles were filling the private room, but you can't help but tear up, :(, he would sigh, patting your messy hair, "shhh, atleast it's with me, angel."

su-bong wipes your tears, "you're too fine to cry 'bout this.." leaning in to kiss you sweetly on the lips. "he deserves it remember? shiit if i was him i'd treat you so much better." you know that's not true. but the words were still nice to hear. he'd lean in to whisper in your ear, "if i was him i'd fuck you so much better. you already got the free trial, babe. c'mon tell me, am i better?" you'd calm down, quickly forgetting what he had done, "b.. better." he smiles, that was a good voice message to send to his bestfriend, your confirmation, your whiny voice. "you deserve the best, my bro can't handle 'allat." he kisses you again, "i love you, so much." was that true? it's not, obviously. "you deserve me." you slowly nodded, you were so dumb, but he was dumb aswell, so maybe two minds do think alike, the two of you deserve eachother !

bonus for the nam-gyu lovers..<3: you'd wake up alone, and mascara would already mess up your pretty face again, you'd shamefully walk back to your shared apartment with nam-gyu (though he wasn't home most of the time), but to your surprise, he'd be there, obviously.. he still lives there, fuck. he'd walk over to you, you could tell he was angry, at the peak of your relationship, he'd give that same look whenever you talk to other guys, you'd already press your hands together, "i'm. i'm sorry, i swear, i'm sorry, nam-gyu.." he tilts his head. "if you're gonna beg, fucking kneel." "i'm reallly sorry, nam-gyu..!" you didn't want to, it was so embarassing. "you're being shy now? you were having the time of your life sucking another guys dick, suddenly now you've got some shame?" obviously what other choice do you have? you'd already swallowed all your pride and ego by apologizing, and he'd happily do what su-bong did to you just a few hours ago, everytime su-bong would send a video he's pissed, so it's his turn now! "you can't fuck this bitch better than i do. got that, bro?" and the video contains you moaning out how nam-gyu's the only one who could make you feel that way! their text conversation is now filled with only your videos. 🫶🏻

i chose choi seunghyun pic bcuz um, there arent enough pre-squidgames scenes of thanos. like . they needa show them outside dem games cuz damn. i couldnt put a pic of jaewon bcuz like all of his pics are so wholesome and cute omfg 😭 . also, thanos is on namgyus team so sorry ure on ur own kid . hehe OH if u guys noticed im changing my layout now damn💔💔

[rongzhi]

(Apologies in advance for typos.)

^ My original tags on this, but actually, I wanted to expand on my views about this a little bit based on some other collected musings I had about the XHS move (which—now that the dust has settled a bit, is it still going on? I don't even know). I'll preface this by saying that my own XHS has been pretty much spared of the wave of American signups, since my feed is mostly art/tattoos and not so much lifestyle/vlogs.

Mainly, I wanted to dig into that feeling of being "over it", a sentiment I've seen circulated on Tumblr by other Chinese diaspora. I think it's a IYKYK situation in some ways but I wonder if non-Chinese diaspora are precisely aware of why there is a underlying sense of caution and this side-eyeing toward everything going on. (To an extent, I think non-Americans who have to deal with us Americans dominating internet spaces probably also have some insight into this.)

Essentially, after that initial cute "haha" feeling of seeing people jump into a new space and meeting all the new people, for me personally, just from having run this blog for 4 years now, I feel distinctly aware that things could go wrong.

Others have said it better, be it pointing out the infantilising or inherent sinophobia, but there is a slant to that attitude of jumping on a new app and discovering that Chinese people can be funny, that they can be kind, that they are sociable and, in basic terms, "just like you", that leaves a bitter taste in the mouth. Oh, you just realised that? People can argue that it was never possible to connect with Chinese netizens before all they want, but in fact, clearly, it was as easy as downloading an app that's free on U.S app stores. Next, you could say, well, there's cultural exchange happening now, which is better than nothing, so what are you so pissy about! I agree, I'm not saying it's a bad thing that some Americans are finally making some attempt to converse with someone outside of their Western, Anglo internet bubble (even if they did so as in the comfort of what is essentially another bubble, as part of a trend). Obviously there is a net good to a person joining XHS, and my wariness mostly comes down to this sense of "discovery" coming with a feeling that Chinese people are still getting lumped into a monolith. Maybe now the monolith is nice and friendly; now the monolith is cute and funny and helpful.

What happens if the Tiktokers realise that some Chinese people also are more socially conservative, or that there are societal issues that Chinese people still have to work through, which aren't ideal or progressive enough for the Enlightened Americans—then what? I've already seen the answer in smaller doses over the years, so I don't know about others, but this is something that I—maybe—hopefully just cynically—can't help but keep my ears tuned towards: the other shoe dropping. Again, for Chinese diaspora (and no doubt, diaspora of any culture in a similar situation), it's "if you know, you know"; we've seen the fickleness of attitudes. The xenophobia and sinophobia that run rampant in U.S society (and I'm sure other western countries, but I speak as a USian) is well known to us in a way that mainlanders often don't take heed toward. Even if there is a sinophobic backlash over anything that arises online, the brunt of it won't be felt by Chinese netizens but us Chinese diaspora who spend the most time in Anglo internet spaces. So, I'm a bit over it all. I've seen how interest in China can play out—for example, how learning Mandarin or being a fan of cdramas or hanfu hardly frees a person of their sinophobia or from regurgitating xenophobic talking points.

It's nice but naive to think that the majority of the tiktokers playing around on XHS right now, trading memes and basking in the numbers of Chinese social media, will truly self-interrogate all too deeply. If some of them seem to have only just realised that Chinese people are ~so nice~, how Other have they been seeing Chinese diaspora? Is that still the case? Will they necessarily make the same effort to know and listen to Chinese diaspora? (People in cfandom will know the answer).

Again, I think there's an overall positive to all this, especially in this ~political climate~ (altho I doubt the people who need positive interaction with Chinese people the most downloaded XHS lol). I guess I just wanted to add all this because because I feel like my first response was quite vague and on second thought, I figured I might as well try to unravel some of my thoughts and impart them to anyone who maybe had no idea there was this perspective to things. Call me jaded or no fun at parties all you like, but that's literally just how it is.

Lastly, I'll just say that from me scrolling douyin, I've also seen how people in China have reacted to the influx of Americans on XHS, so I can tell you a little bit of the other side. It also corresponds a little with what I'm trying (but maybe failing) to say about Chinese diaspora: the people who have been having as much/equal fun with the convergence of internet spaces have been mainlanders with no general dealings with Americans. In the past week, the bloggers I've seen who've been vocal/warning about Chinese people not bending over backwards to start speaking English all the time, or just following/kissing up to Americans because they're white*, have been Chinese netizens—mainly students—who live/study abroad.

* Yes, obviously there are non-White Americans, but white people are, as ever, uplifted the most by society on the basis of being white. We know this.

how do you feel about so many americans getting on 小红书?

[captain-bubble-wrap]

I'm curious how do you think Quinn would handle a breakup? Maybe one where he's being broken up with?

Boy, was this one hard to write... 90% of this is based on my last breakup, so... it's pretty... painful. SO ENJOY my misery! (I gave you a better ending than I had IRL, so you're welcome for that at least.)

"I loved you, I really did."

"It doesn't have to be this way," Quinn begged. "I still love you, Y|N."

"But you don't show it, Quinn. I've been so alone for so long and I just can't put myself through this anymore." Tears had been streaming down your face for several minutes now, since this whole spiraling conversation had started, yet you never broke eye contact with him. You wanted him to know how much this was hurting you to say and just how long you had been carrying the weight of it all.

"I tried to tell myself it would pass. It was this excuse, and that excuse, but nothing ever changed. I just don't think you can handle a relationship and your career right now. I'm tired of lying to myself. I'm tired of acting like tomorrow will magically be better. It's never better."

"Y|N I'm sorry--"

"I'm sure you are, and so am I, but I can't do this anymore. I just can't."

Quinn said nothing, his eyes dropped from your face while he stood there looking completely lost.

"You always say I don't deserve to feel the way I do when I'm down, because you've caused me to feel that way, but that's as far as it goes. Nothing ever changes. It's the same stuff over and over."

"I know, that's on me," he choked out, throat tight with anxiety. "I never intended to hurt you. I didn't think things were as bad as they were. I didn't realize I was hurting you."

You just shook your head in disbelief at hearing him say he hadn't noticed what he was doing to you. "You know, maybe I just asked too much from you. Maybe I demanded too much and you had no choice but to push back. I just don't know."

Quinn's eyes flick back to you immediately, "You were never too much, and I meant that every time I told you -- every time I tried to reassure you. You have always been there for me."

"And what about you? Where were you when I needed you the most? Distant, closed off, out with the guys? Even when you were beside me, you weren't really there. I begged you to do stuff with me and you'd say sure, but something would always come up. It was like you wanted an excuse to be away from me. I understood in the beginning, but fuck! I wouldn't hear from you until the next day. 'Sorry, I fell asleep. I left my phone at the hotel.' How could I not be suspicious?"

"I never cheated on you!" Quinn cried out.

"But, Quinn, the goddamn panic attacks you caused me! That hurt me!" Your voice was so much louder now, straining to remain below a yell. He was a blur in your eyes, with the tears obstructing your vision. "I begged you for the smallest of things! Christ, I'd say, 'good night, I love', and it was like you'd just ignore what I said. You never said anything the next morning! You say you love me, but you're horrible at showing it."

Quinn's voice, on the other hand, was growing smaller each time he had to plead his case. "I never fell out of love with you, Y|N, it's just like we drifted apart. I love how you treat me. I just wasn't used to being treated that way. I'm sorry if it came off like I was pushing you away."

"It was months though, Quinn. Months of feeling like I was the third wheel or just another friend. I don't like feeling so alone in a relationship. It's horrible."

"I don't know what else to say, but I'm sorry. Can I do anything to make this better?"

You were biting your bottom lip so hard when you heard his half-assed apology you tasted blood shortly after. "No, I don't think so. Too much has happened. I never thought we'd come to this. I thought you were going to be the last guy I had to open up to; the last guy I'd have to explain my past to. I wanted you to be my last, Quinn."

"I know, and I'm sorry I hurt you like this. I just got too comfortable and never checked in with how you were feeling. It was selfish of me. I'm not proud of any of this."

"I'm sorry it had to be this way, too. Sorry I had to bring this up out of the blue, but I've just reached my breaking point one too many times."

Even through all of your anger and sadness, you wanted to walk over to him and give him one last hug, but you had to stand your ground or all of these revelations would be for nothing. Too many times before you had talked yourself out of telling him how you had felt, but there would be no going backwards now.

"I've got to put myself first for one," you finally brought yourself to say. "I'll get my stuff out of here while you're on the road."

"Y|N--," he mumbled, his eyes so sorrowful hearing you say your goodbyes, so finite and decided.

"I hope everything works out for you, Quinn. I really do. I hope you find the person that's right for you. Someone who can handle your life and schedule. Again, I'm sorry but that doesn't appear to be me."

That was it. You had said everything you had argued with yourself over for months, in a matter of minutes, and now you were leaving his apartment. You'd linger on your decision for a moment once the door closed behind you, but you had to force yourself to go forward though your heart was begging you to go back.

On the other side of the door, you wouldn't hear him finally break down; his cries unheard and his heart shattered.

You'd reach the parking garage and get in your car but you didn't leave immediately -- almost like you were wanting to see if Quinn was just behind you, but the elevator door never opened. It was for the best. What would you have done if he had? Run back over to him? Say you were sorry? It was best not to think about the what-ifs.

It would hit you, as you rolled onto the street, that the next time you returned it would be to get your things, and likely the last time you'd ever be at his apartment. That apartment held so many memories, both good and bad. It felt more like home than your own did.

You'd find yourself in a silent argument the whole drive home until one song, on your shuffled playlist, catches your ear. It was Venice Bitch, by Lana del Rey, a song you loved until, for the first time, you noticed how much it aligned with your emotions.

"Fresh out of fucks forever, trying to be stronger for you. Ice cream, ice queen... oh god, miss you on my lips. It's me, your little Venice bitch...on the stoop with the neighborhood kids, calling out bang-bang kiss-kiss...and as the summer fades away, nothing cold can stay...you're right, I told you we'd make it work, you're beautiful and I'm insane...we're American made...give me Hallmark: one dream, one life, one lover...paint me happy and blue."

The music swells, as your tears run off your jawline. You loved Quinn so much! He had been the prince you had dreamed of, wished for and what had you done?

"Oh god, love him on my lips...touch me with your fingertips...it's me your little Venice bitch."

You'd pull in your driveway, your forehead resting against the steering wheel while you screamed out in agony at your broken heart. Your body hurt from crying for so long, throat sore from such loud emotions, and chest heavy with anxiety. Eventually, you'd exit your car and drag yourself to your front door. You couldn't just crawl into bed after all of that, you would need help in crying yourself to sleep. So, in the kitchen, you'd go through two glasses of wine while you convinced yourself you were such an idiot. Realizing you had thrown away the best thing to ever happen to you, you would being crying to loudly, it was like you were screaming. It was any wonder you hadn't awoken your sleeping neighbors next door. There was no fixing this now. What was done, was done.

All you wanted was some comfort but there would be no one to give you any. Not now. You felt you didn't deserve it anyway.

Leaving the glass and open bottle on the island, you forced yourself to the bathroom to wash your face. Seeing yourself in the mirror --how broken you looked-- had you been any weaker, you would have thrown something at it to erase the image from your mind. If only it would have been that easy to erase Quinn's sad eyes pleading for you not to leave. You wish you would have just left the light off.

In your bedroom, either out of habit or for comfort you grabbed a shirt to sleep in, which had been one of Quinn's. It hadn't taken long for the slight buzz to affect you but you felt no lighter or less phased by your actions. You wondered if you ever would.

As you figured you would, you'd cry into your pillow until flat exhaustion would pull you into sleep. That was until the buzzing of your phone would wake you from the light slumber. On the screen, "Huggy Bear" illuminated the room in bold, white letters. You ended the call, but no sooner had the phone screen gone black, it was flashing again. Like the first one, you swiped the red button and the ringing finally ceased. The next time the phone would buzz would be from a text notification. The words would send butterflies pulling your heart in one hundred different directions.

"I'm outside. Please, may I talk to you?"

Torn between leaving him out there in the cold, and actually giving him a moment to say what he needed to, you laid there for a few minutes before throwing the blankets aside and stumbling down the hall to the living room. Wiping your cheeks, you unlocked the door to find him standing there, his hoodie pulled up around his messy curls and his eyes bloodshot and wet.

You lean against the doorframe for support; arms crossed in an attempt to hide your deeper emotions.

"Y|N, I don't want things to be this way. I don't want things to end like this."

It was so hard, but you stood your ground, no matter how hard you wanted to fall into his body and tell him you were sorry.

"I'll try harder. I shouldn't have taken you for granted like I did."

Finally, you say something to him with a slight shaking of your head," This wasn't all on you. I asked too much. I'm sorry."

Your stifled cries can't be held back for long, and shortly after apologizing, you cover your face with your hands to hide your crying. Your whimpers stab Quinn in the heart all over again, still feeling he's the sole reason you're feeling this way. He steps forward, and wraps his arms around you. He's so warm against the cold night air, which causes your nails to dig into his back, allowing yourself to return his embrace.

"I'm so sorry! I'm so, so sorry!" You cried out, holding on to him like a lifeline.

"So am I," Quinn whispered in to your ear, trying to keep you from a panic attack. "C'mon, let's get you back inside. Is that okay?"

You'd allow him to guide you back into the warmth of the your house. He would be the one to shut and lock the door, and through all of that, he'd still keep you pressed against his chest.

"I never wanted to make you cry," he confessed, never realizing how much he could miss the feeling of you in his arms.

"I can't believe I hurt you like that, Quinn," you replied, hiding your face from his.

"Don't apologize, please." he said, nearly on the brink of tears himself. "I'm sorry I hurt you so much that we even got to this point in the first place."

The fact that he had even wanted to see you, to drive outside of the city to get to you, and above all else, not telling you how much of a horrible person you had been, spoke volumes of Quinn's willingness to be better for you. He wrapped both arms around you tighter than he ever had before. You were shivering, wearing nothing but that oversized t-shirt, but you didn't care; being cold wasn't going to take away whatever this moment was with Quinn.

"Are you okay?" He asked, running a hand up and down your spine. "You're shaking."

"I don't know."

"Come on, pretty girl, let's get you back to bed, hm? If you'll let me."

You nod, but were still reluctant to let go of him. Now you were forced to face him and it felt terrible to still see him looking so heartbroken. His cheeks were still wet with fresh tears, as he had apparently been silently crying while he had been holding you. You touched his face and his eyes closed against your touch.

"I'm sorry."

His eyes would open again, and he would try to smile for you. "I'm sorry, too."

Without another world, Quinn would guide you back down the hall to your bedroom, rather familiar with where everything was in the house. The light was off, your phone lay in the middle of the bed with the screen on. Your wallpaper was a picture of Quinn and yourself at last year's Stanley Cup playoffs, and it was the only light in the room. Quinn would click on one of the bedside lamps before reaching for your phone.

"I always loved that photo," he said, lingering on the photo for a moment before shutting off the screen and laying it next to the lamp.

You'd crawl into the bed and he would move to tuck you in, "I don't want you to hate me, Quinn."

He'd stop moving to return his eyes to your face. "I don't, sweetheart. I don't think I could...ever. It hasn't crossed my mind."

"But--"

"I'm not upset with you, baby. This is on me. What you said was true: I should have paid more attention.

You gasped through the beginnings of another crying fit, "I don't deserve it!"

"Shh, shh," Quinn leaned forward to cradle your face with his hand. "I needed to hear it, baby. The truth hurts sometimes. I'll be okay once you are."

"Will you-- will you stay tonight?" You asked, terrified he could possibly deny your request, trying to stop crying.

"Of course," he managed to actually smile. "I'd love to."

"Quinn, I'm so--"

"It's okay, it's okay. We've both said it enough."

You'd sniffle with an added nod as he pulled back the covers to get in next to you. He'd turn off the lamp before you found your place against his chest.

"I'll be right here when you get up, okay?" He assured.

"Promise?" You mumbled.

"I promise. I also promise not to make you feel like this again."

You didn't know what to say. It was like he had completely forgiven you for everything. "I don't want to lose you."

"You haven't sweetheart. I'm right here," he said, running a hand through your hair. "I love you."

Quinn's admission made you cry again, "I love you, too, baby."

"Shh, shh, you don't need to cry. I'm right here. I'm yours as long as you want me."

[writingwisterias]

How would the different eras of Leon act if he knows he shouldn’t be with the reader (ada wong typa shit) but he can’t escape from her like whenever something happens (like maybe she spotted arias’s wedding in vendetta ?) she is deff a part of it and he keeps running into the reader 🙏 i love your work btw you’re the reason why i keep refreshing the tag 💪💜

Hiii

I love this idea lmao and thank you! You are so sweet - I hope you have a great day <3

Warnings: None Fem! reader

RE2:

Post the events of the game let's say he sees you around the training grounds

After the events you both went through at a young age I think he finds it easier to blame you for letting him fall for Ada's tricks

It grows heated and hurts you that he treats you like that around the camp

Krasuer actually makes you sparing partners on purpose hoping that you would hone in your anger and focus on creating your skills

It doesn't work

RE4R:

He sees you as he's running around but almost plays it off as just a figment of his imagination

It would a similar reaction to Ada in the game but let's say he actually is hung up you and has feelings then he would slip up more

He'll expose these feelings more often than showing you he's angry.

I don't think however you would use this to your advantage but find it cute that he is struggling

He's almost drawn to be at your side more than he is to focus on the mission. Ashley's presence is a reminder of what he's meant to be doing

Infinite Darkness:

Grows frustrated at first, like how are you here again

At this point I think he'll just assume the universe thinks you are meant to be together

Again is more likely to draw in close and team up in a way where he's not just straight up being used

He's been there done that

Better at hiding his feelings but does slip up a few times

Damnation:

He's beginning to get used to it at this point, I don't think he would really get mad

I think again it's just surprising how you are always there as a thing in his life and he never seems to know you very well

Playful banter, enough to get through the mission

Kinda accepts what you do as he's just used to it at this point so there's no tension or arguments on that front

He assumes you are hear on orders for someone. Doesn't agree to it but if you don't stop him from doing his job he wont stop you doing yours

RE6:

He surprised you are here, like he just wasn't expecting you to be involved with this plot scheme or that it was that large you would have an interest in it

Smiles to himself every time you talk or do something to help him. He's smitten at this point.

The dynamic has shifted dramatically at this point, there is hidden feelings waiting to be exposed or spoken about.

But when do either of you have the time?

It's just forever left unspoken

It would be easier to deal with it like this but at the end of the day it's too obvious now

The final 'goodbye' is the hardest

Vendetta:

So I think he would actually get annoyed but because he's not in the right frame of mind to deal with the emotions that follow from seeing you

He would provide information for the others about you if you are involved.

When he actually sees you he's silent. Not really talking to you all that much.

After the mission though when he's starting to get in a better mindset I think he will attempt to reach out

Maybe for some stability after all you have been there through literally everything

It could progress romantically but I think that's just what you were both expecting at this point if it does happen.

Soulmates in a way

Death Island:

You are either currently fucking or have fucked recently

Lingering touches when he does see you, its playful and the other don't really know how to react

He's not surprised that you are somehow involved and will stick by your side during the fights just in case

You both meet up together of course

At this point you just accept each others company and allows it to develop in whatever way it does

If it works out then great. If not then until next time.

[sunsetsover]

looking back at kantbison's relationship and specifically kant's relationship with submission throughout the show after episode 8 has really put a lot of things into perspective for me.

bc like. it's complicated. i'm not gonna pretend that it's not. there's too much there in kant's character to ever really be able to isolate one thing he says or does before like. episode 6 or so. and be able to say 'this was exactly what he meant, this was his sole feeling and/or his sole motivation here' bc everything's far too intertwined to ever pick apart properly.

that said though. i always felt there was a sense of reluctance in kant when it came to giving bison power over him and specifically the bdsm thing. and i could never quite figure out bc i didn't particularly get the impression that he disliked it either but there was just something that was off about it that i could never quite put my finger on, but i think i've finally figured it out. and it's really not that surprising, bc as this show's gone on it's become increasingly clear that with kant all roads lead to the same place, and that's the issue of choice - or lack of choice, in kant's case.

submission was never really the issue i don't think. kant knows how to submit, is good at submitting - at the end of the day, isn't that what he does with christ? submit to his will, follow his orders? isn't he collared and chained to him? isn't he such a well behaved dog for him? kant knows very well how to submit. but the thing is is that it's not a willing act of submission where christ is concerned. kant submits because, like with pretty much every other facet of his life, he has no other choice. he behaves because he has to.

and then the next thing kant knows there's bison, outright telling him that he'd like him to submit. to let bison take charge and have kant bend to his will, to follow his every whim. and bison wasn't pushy about it - if anything it was the opposite. he was reluctant, assuring kant that it was fine, that he didn't have to, that actually maybe it was better that they didn't. he gives kant the choice. but it's not a real choice. kant's answer is already laid out for him.

and i think that's where the dissonance entered. you see hints of annoyance and frustration before then, but the much more subtle 'off' feeling that i felt started around then. and i think it's bc for all intents and purposes kant was already completely submitting to bison's will. he was already going along w whatever bison wanted bc he had to, bc he needed bison to trust him, bc saying no to anything thrown his way wasn't (and had never been) an option.

but ofc bison didn't know that. he just wanted to dom his boy. but i think he could also feel the reluctance and the confusion around it all. bc despite what he said and did to reassure bison that he was into it and wanted it too, kant was always subconsciously resisting. and as i said i think there's a lot in that too, it's not simply one thing - bison is a murderer at the end of the day, and dom/sub dynamics are supposed to be built primarily on trust, and kant didn't trust bison not to hurt him too much or go too far. it was also clearly a new thing to him considering he didn't even know what a safeword was. and it was maybe even some weird sense of loyalty to christ. you know what they say: you can't serve two masters. and kant already had one. he was already collared and chained, already submitting. and kant's current master had an awful lot of power over him. he knew what kind of punishment awaited him if he disobeyed.

but above all else kant knew he couldn't really say no. and he hated that.

and so we're back to choice again. the one thing kant has never had. here he is getting forced into submission again - not by bison, but by circumstance. and so no matter what he says or does or how into it he really does seem, there's always this subtle reluctance that rolls off of him. there's always just something off about it all. (which, thinking about, may have been one of the reasons why so many people were turned off by kantbison, bc there was just something not quite right in the vibes, but i digress)

but obviously things change. kant accidentally falls in love with bison, despite his best intentions. and, maybe even more importantly, bison falls in love with kant. and that love changes bison - bison, who needed power so desperately when they first met that he turned nearly every interaction they had into a game of tug of war. bison who, despite not necessarily needing kant's submission, would also never ever give in to kant's will, not even a little. but that same bison falls for kant, and he begins to yield. starts to let himself just be, and by extension let kant just be too. bison begins to settle, become a little docile. he lays on kant's chest and kisses his feet. he rolls onto his back and lets kant loom big and dominating over him, despite how desperate he once was for power. and kant is clever, he knows that's what bison wanted. that's why he gave into him all the time. but by letting kant maintain some of the power in their relationship without a fight, he's basically telling kant i would like you to submit to me, but i don't need it. i just want you. and kant hears that. and that changes things. because without knowing it or even really meaning to, he's given kant a choice.

and we all know what kant chooses.

and to be clear, for the most part i think this is all happening on a subconscious level without either really realising it or thinking about what's happening. but the choice is conscious. it's his. and kant chooses the master that gives him the option to choose. that choice changes everything for kant. everything. it recalibrates his whole world view, his whole life. and the minute he chooses (chooses!) bison, he submits himself to him wholeheartedly. he puts the collar on himself.

but we don't get the reality of what that means until ep 8 bc of yknow. all the stabbing and kidnapping and manipulation and retraumatisation and scheming such. but then we do see it. and we see just how deep it goes for kant, that ease of submission, and his desire for it. how he doesn't run despite having many, many opportunities to do so. how he doesn't eat even when bison's nowhere to be found and he has freshly cooked food in his hands bc bison hasn't said he can. how he doesn't untie himself despite being able to bc bison tied him up for a reason. and sure, all of that is love too, and it's also playing nice bc he desperately wants bison's forgiveness. but this is all also an active form of submission, the same way a dog submits to their owner when they say sit, down, stay, wait. a good dog doesn't eat until it's given permission. and ultimately doesn't the fact that kant safewords tell us exactly what kind of state of mind he's in? what he thinks about their situation and their relationship? (and i won't go over it bc i've already talked about in length here but the act of safewording truly said so, so much)

and yknow, thinking about it really it shouldn't even be surprising bc we were literally shown who kant was back when they first met. and what did he do? went when bison said to go, came when bison said to come back. bison said you're not doing this alone and kant sat still and let bison ride him to his heart's content. it was very subtle, but he really was submitting to bison in little ways all the way back then! the signs were there!

and the beautiful thing about it to me is that in episode 8 there is not a single moment of dissonance between kant and bison. there's no more weird vibes. there's just kant and the first choice he's ever got to make. kant and his chosen master. kant and the hand at the end of his leash. kant and bison.

[max1461]

This whole post feels rather crass to me, I think it's correct but it's rather crass. It's using genocide as an argumentative cudgel to thwack mildly annoying people with, and that's a completely crass thing to do. If it makes me look bad that's probably fair.

At the core of 2010s identity politics was this idea, usually implicit, that persecution teaches empathy; that oppressed people acquired through their oppression some deeper understanding of the nature of oppression as such and were therefore (as identity groups, not as individuals) uniquely well positioned to imagine better systems for the future.

I've said this before, but I think that Israel's current genocide in Gaza is an almost maximally potent counterexample to this idea. Not that it ever made very much sense, but people could always mount a defense of the form "Well, we've never had a society ruled by [marginalized group], so saying that they would do all the same heinous shit as [dominant group] if they were in charge is totally unfounded! Here's a bunch of theory that says they wouldn't" and so on.

But, look. If you are a fan of 2010s identity politics, it should probably concern you that the ideological justification for Israel's existence as a nation state is really pretty similar in form (although obviously vastly different in scale and in specifics) to the justification given for various identity-based campus policies of the 2010s and so on (not safe spaces sensu stricto but their ilk). Now I don't want to equivocate here: I think the right's hysteria over safe spaces is stupid, because these sorts of campus policies don't really do very much other than make people feel excluded, or maybe get someone expelled for some dumb reason or whatever. That sucks but nobody dies. In general I think campus politics is massively overinflated in the public imagination, and even when extended beyond the college setting I think these sorts of policies generally fall into the "dumb, but not very important" category. But we're talking about the shape of an argument here, not the effect of a policy. And, yeah, the argument is shaped the same, and it's a bad argument: marginalized people need spaces in which they have local hegemony in order to protect themselves from oppressors on the outside, and they're justified in using this local hegemony in ways that may seem capricious or discriminatory because, hey, they as marginalized people know what they need to do to fight their own oppression.

Well, Israel says that Jews will only be safe if they have their own nation state, and they are justified in pursuing discriminatory and indeed now genocidal policies because, according to the Israeli state, that is what is necessary to preserve the Israeli state and protect Jews. And who is anyone else to argue with that?

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 55

(Prev) (Next) (First)

*Grian's pov*

You sigh in relief, that was close... too close, you almost had to think about some of the stuff you really don't want to aknowledge.... Hopefully Joel doesn't get funny ideas from that.

Sure, you might have gotten a slight bit attached to one mortal...or two...but it's just more fun this way! Yes! Nothing more to it. Nothing at all... And well you don't need to justify yourself to him anyway! Who is he to question you? ... Outside of like being the literal sky.

You are digging your metaphorical hole deeper at this point.

...

ANYWAY, It's time to go back to your vessel now, It's been a long enough time that it shouldn't be too weird for you to wake up... Well it might still be but at this point you are too bored to care.

You just give it a bit of a push and you open your eyes.

Ugh, It's way too bright in here and now that you are back inside the body the pain has somewhat returned, going to have to fix that at one point tll. You never understood why humans were made to be so fleshy and weak and sickly in the first place...

You push yourself up on the medical bef, the muscle mass in the arms is mostly intact with minimal athropy luckily, the legs are pretty much the same so not an horrible state by mortal standards at least... The door to the room opens, It's a nurse... She seems shocked to see you awake, she quickly dashes to your bedside to check on some monitors near you...then after a few minutes of questions that you really didn't care about she nods and leaves to make a call...

Soon after Cub burst trough the door, covered from head to toe in water.

"Grian? I was told you were up."

"That I am ..."

You should probably be asking questions right, they think you have been unconcious for the last week or so.

"... What happened? The uh nurse that found me when I woke up didn't explain much."

There! Perfect! Now he thinks you are clueless and your divinity is once more kept secret, good job you!

"You ...got shot protecting Hotguy from a sniper"

"And how long was I...?"

"Oh just... A bit more less then two weeks"

"Hmm."

...

The silence that follows is akward, you just want to get this over with so you can leave and the two of you barely know eachother... You really want to ask about what the associations current plans are for you but you can't just ask that, you already made Cub suspicious with the blood samples way before everything went down...

...Ok maybe you can phrase it in a non-suspicious way, It's a better option then laying on the bed for who knows how long.

"So... What now?"

"Uh?"

"Can I like ...leave now?" That should sound earnest enough hopefully.

"What?"

Cub is not the expressive type, you have gathered that from the little you have seen of him. This is not an exception, he just tilts his head before giggling a bit, you really can't tell if It's genuine or not.

"Grian, you just woke up from a coma you- you can't just...you can't just get up and leave."

"Oh..."

Well then, you messed it up, he's -

"Where would you even get that idea? Is that something you have done before? Wake up from a possibly life ending injury and just leave?"

There is a right answer is. . . You don't know what that is, you have no clue what he wants you to say. So you do a bit of gambling.

"Yes yes, many times, all the time"

His smile falters a bit, this somehow feels more like genuine confusion or thought...he just looks at you, did you say the wrong thing? You should have just done the mind reading trick... No, you gave yourself a challenge, if you just used all your powers this wouldn't be any fun anymore.

...

He doesn't even say anything else he just keeps looking, you tilt your head a bit and it seems to bring him back.

"Right... Well, I'll be speaking with the medical staff then."

"Sure."

He slowly gets up and after a few seconds goes to open the door and leave... He stops just as he reaches for the door.

"And Grian?"

"Yeah?"

"Scar is worried, should -"

"Tell him to come by."

"Alright"

And like that he's gone.

*End of Chapter 10*

[wowzees]

no matter what

lando norris x reader

y/n is not used!

a/n: this is a short story from uni- i have to make a collection of them

the one i posted earlier was also one, but these have not recived feedback from my professer or have been majorly edited. enjoy!

High school felt like the longest four years of my life. Days blurred into each other, routines became a way of life, and I thought I had everything figured out. I was one of those kids who had his group of friends, the sport he played, and the classes he took, all laid out in a neat, predictable order. Nothing ever really changed.

And then, there was her.

She’d been there from the start. The girl who wasn’t just a friend,she was something more, though I never said it out loud. We’d grown up together, laughed at the same inside jokes, gotten in trouble for the same stupid things. She knew me better than anyone else, maybe even better than I knew myself. She was the one I could count on for anything. She was the one who could make me laugh on days when nothing felt right. When life got heavy, when there was uncertainty about my future, she was the one I turned to. And I thought that would never change. Or maybe I didn’t think about it at all. Why would I need to? She was always there, like a constant in my life, something I could rely on. But looking back, I see the warning signs. Small things that I chose not to notice. 

At first, it was little things— how she stopped coming to my house after school everyday. How she stopped calling me for big milestones. It’s easy to ignore changes like that. Until they hit you all at once. And then, it was too late.

Without her presence, I started hanging out with the kids from my soccer team more, and more. I told them about all my problems with her. Their solution? They wanted me to prank her. I wanted to fit in. So, I agreed.

Maybe I was too busy with soccer, or maybe I just took her for granted. But somewhere along the way, I stopped seeing her the way I always had. I saw how my actions hurt her. But, somewhere along the way i stopped seeing that. I stopped seeing how my actions hurt her.

But I didn’t think much about it at the time. After all, things had always worked themselves out between us, right? I guess I never thought I’d lose her, guess I thought that she’d always be there.

How wrong I was.

And seeing her now after graduation, getting ready to go to college and saying goodbye to friends for one last time, I can't help but remember a time when things were so much simpler.

Age, 7. Grade, 2

“Lan, wait up” she yelled, peddling her feet. I slowed my bike down and turned to face her. 

“Hurry up! You're being slow.” she peddled faster. Too fast. I watched in slow motion as she rides over a rock, flies through the air as if it’s molasses, then falls in what seems the same way a feather falls through the air. Then promptly crashes into a trashcan, scattering trash all around and on top of her. 

I quickly stopped my bike and ran to her. She was sitting there, covered in trash from the trash can, pouting. As I stood over her, and saw her covered in trash, I almost laughed. “Stop! It’s really not funny” she sniffled, though she now seemed a little happier. 

“I've bin waiting for this to happen” I joke, hoping to make her laugh.

“It's really not that funny” she snorts while giggling.

 “Yeah, well you’re still laughing” I argue. As she struggles to her feet, I realize I should probably help her. As I move to put her arm around my shoulder, she shoves me off. 

“I don't need your help, butthead” she says, crossing her arms and stares at me with her lips pursed. 

“Sorry, man, chill.” I say, not really understanding why she didn't want help. 

“I got worse when I first started playing volleyball, it's just a little scrape on my knee. It’ll heal” 

"Ok "I mumbled, feeling a little stupid.

As we walked home, we talked about silly things, like how funny she looked covered in trash, or about the people we didn't like at school. Before we parted ways, she threw her arms around me and pressed a quick, fleeting kiss that was gone as soon as it started to my cheek. “Bye Lando! I'll see you tomorrow at school!” she said over her shoulder as she ran home.

“Bye” I yell, after she had already disappeared into the house, my cheeks still red.

She had always been brave in her own way. Whether it was running into a trash can then getting back up with a skinned knee and no tears, or hiding her fears behind that stubborn smile of hers, she never changed. She was always the same, brave girl I had known since I was a kid. I wish I had known then how much that bravery would change the course of our friendship.

Age, 12  Grade 7.

The ferris wheel creaked more and more the higher up it went, carrying us higher, and higher into the night sky. Below we could see the rest of the fair, all the people enjoying themselves just like we are.

Her posture was slumped, and she was practically shaking on the little metal bench that lines the side of the carriage.

“Are you scared?” I ask. This wasn't a very normal occurrence, and I was honestly a little surprised. 

“What? Me? No! Of course not. I don't get scared” she responded, her voice shaky, and honestly not very convincing. 

“Hey, it's okay if you are scared. We all have things we are scared of; it doesn't make you weak.” I say in a soft tone, understanding when to tease and when to be comforting. 

“I'm not scared.”

“Yeah? Good, me neither. Honestly, it's really nice.”

“Nice?”

“Yeah. It’s really nice being up here.”

“I guess it is pretty nice.”

“It's really pretty,” I say with a sigh.

“It is,” she responds with an airy voice.

Little did I know that while I was staring at the sky, she was looking at me.

Ever since that night on the ferris wheel, I had developed a liking for stars. She learned more about stars for me, though I didn't know that then. I thought it was just a coincidence, not something carefully planned. Ever since then, we would spend nights under the stars together, gazing upwards.

Age, 15. Grade 9.

“And that one’s named Altair” she said, pointing up at the brightest star in the sky.

“How do you know this?” I ask while chuckling.

“I learned it when I was in 8th grade for my science fair project. I won.”

“I know, you’ve only told me like a million times.”

“I have not!”

“Uh, yes you have.”

“Excuse yo- wow, it's like, really cold.”

“Here,” I say, shrugging my sweatshirt off. “Take it.”

“No, it's fine really. I don't need it, I’m fine.”

“If you don't take it, I’m actually gonna go insane!”

“Fine” she huffed, sticking her tongue out at me. “Thank you.” she mumbled.

“You're welcome.”

“Lando?”

“Yeah?”

“We'll always be best friends, right?”

“Of course we will. No matter what.”

“No matter what.”

Back then, No matter what seemed like an easy promise to keep. Before our future became closer and closer, before I found out she would be going to Yale. No matter what seemed like an easy promise to keep under the soft lighting of the stars, but under the fluorescent lights in the highschool hallways, and the pressure from the guys, the promise broke apart. 

“Hey Lan!” she exclaims, coming up to me “Hey,” I respond. “Where are your glasses?” I ask. She has always loved her glasses. She always said it gave her more personality, though I disagree. She has plenty of personality already. 

“Oh, I just switched to contacts for volleyball! It's too impractical to have to play without being able to see, ya know? Do you like them?” I actually think that she looks stunning with or without glasses, but since my friends from the soccer team are with me, I just say 

“ I dunno man, it kinda makes your eyes look too close together.” I feel absolutely terrible as I practically see her deflate. Her normally radiant smile disappears, her shoulders begin to tremble, and her eyes go glassy. At first, she didn't say anything. I could practically see her brain thinking of ways to respond. She was trying to act relaxed about it, but I knew her well. She doesn't do relaxed about these types of things.

 I hear the boys snickering from behind me, making stupid comments about how “he is so right” and “how can she not see that herself?” and “why does she talk so much?”. I'm actually about to turn around and tell them to shut up, and that I am the only one allowed to tease her like that, but before I can, she says something.

“Oh. Well, uh, I should be going to class. I'll see you later, Lando,” she mumbles. Her normally confident posture seemed impossibly timid and shy. Her posture didn't say ‘see you later’.  It said ‘leave me alone’.

While she walked down the hallway, the only thing I could focus on was the fact that she didn't call me Lan .

The next few days, I tried finding her, though she kept on avoiding me. Finally, I found her sitting outside at the tables, eating her lunch alone.

“Hey” I greet softly, sitting down at the table outside. 

“What do you want?” she responded, her tone sharp. She was wearing her glasses again.

“I wanted to apologize for what I said on Tuesday.” I say, barely audible.

“If you're going to say something, say it louder.”

“I wanted to apologize for what I said.” 

“Do you? Do you really? Or is this just another sick prank you and your friends are playing on me, huh? I stood there and took it in tenth grade, when you made fun of my brother, who, by the way looks up to you, in the cafeteria. I stood there and took it in eleventh grade when you texted everyone from my phone things that I would never, ever say about someone and especially TO someone, posted things on instagram that I would NEVER post, and then humiliated me by making me think that you were seriously hurt, then jump up and say “it's a prank” after i started crying? I even stood there and took it when you told me that my eyes were too close together! The one thing you know I'm insecure about, and you make fun of it? You’ve changed Lando! You and your stupid friends have made high school horrible for me! And even though you've been rude, and you've been mean, and you've in general been a nightmare to be around, I'm still in love with you, and I have been for the last 10 years! And I'm done with this! I will not, will not sit here and let you bully me because I’m your ‘best friend’! I stayed your friend because I thought you would notice me! I thought you would realize, but you didn't! And I’m done waiting, okay? I’m done. Bye, Lando.”

By now, she was crying. Before I could respond to her and apologize, I hear laughing and jeering coming from behind me. I turn around and march over to where the boys are standing. They chuckle upon seeing me, and I absolutely lose it.

“Are you guys actually stupid? You made me lose the most important thing in my life, because you ‘thought it would be funny’? She is worth more than you guys will ever be. She was a better friend, a better athlete, but most importantly, a better person than you guys! I’m done with y’all.” 

I turn back to where she was standing, but she's not there anymore.

The next few days, I look for her. I see her a couple of times, but she always manages to avoid me. 

One night, as I’m packing for college, I hear someone knocking on the front door.

I run down the stairs, thinking it’s the pizza I ordered for me and my sister, but it’s not. It’s her.

“Uhm, I just wanted to return this.” she says, handing me my sweatshirt that i gave to her 3 years ago. “I just thought I should return it before I leave for Yale.”

“When do you leave?” I ask, fearing the answer.

“Tomorrow.” 

The second I hear that word, my world stops. I hazily thank her for bringing the sweatshirt back, then slam the door. I vaguely remember stumbling up the stairs, and sitting down on my bed, my mind running a thousand miles a minute.

 I’m going to have to live without the person who was there for me at every problem, at every bad game, at every milestone in my life, and I lost her because of my own mistakes. I lost her because I let those stupid kids influence my decisions. I lost her because I didn't know how to communicate my feelings. And now, I’ll never get her back.

I was right. I never got her back. And deep down inside, I knew I was never going to get her back. I knew this when I met Emma. I knew this when I proposed to Emma. I knew this when I invited her to our wedding. But that truly, did not prepare me for when I saw her.

“And do you, Lando Norris, take Emma Sand to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish till death do you part? ” asked the priest, his voice echoing through the church that held all of our friends and loved ones. 

“ I do.” 

And then, out of the corner of my eye, I see her, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. After years of knowing her,  I could almost hear her thinking ‘that should have been me.’

And I feel horrible and disgusting and gross thinking this on my wedding day, but I'm inclined to agree. It should have been her. And it would have been, if not for my own stupidity.

And seeing her, brought me right back to all those years ago. And made me wonder; what happened to ‘no matter what.’

[moldytiramisu]

𝕾𝖎𝖑𝖊𝖓𝖙 𝖍𝖎𝖑𝖑

In my restless dreams, I see that town.

Silent hill.

You promised me you'd take me there again someday. But you never did. Well, I'm alone there now... Waiting for you... Waiting for you to come and see me. But you never do. And so I wait, wrapped in my cocoon of pain and loneliness. I know I've done a terrible thing to you. Something you'll never forgive me for. I wish I could change that, but I can't. I feel so pathetic and ugly laying here, waiting for you... Everyday I stare up at the cracks in the ceiling all I can think about is how unfair it all is... The doctor came today. He told me I could go home for a short day. It's not that I'm getting better. It's just that this may be my last chance... I think you know what I mean... Even so, I'm glad to be coming home. I've missed you terribly. But I'm afraid, James, I'm afraid you don't really want me to come home. Whenever you come see me, I can tell how hard it is on you. I don't know if you hate me or pity me... Or maybe I just disgust you... I'm sorry about that. When I first learned that I was going to die, I just didn't want to accept it. I was so angry all the time and I struck out everyone I loved most. Especially you, James. That is why I understand if you do hate me. But I want you to know this, James. I'll always love you. Even though our life together had to end like this, I still wouldn't trade it for the world. We had some wonderful years together. Well, this letter has gone on too long, so I'll say goodbye. I told the nurse to give this to you after I'm gone. That means as you read this, I'm already dead. I can't tell you to remember me, but I can't bear for you to forget me. These last few years since I became ill... I'm so sorry for what I did to you, did to us... You've given me so much and I haven't been able to return a single thing. That's why I want you to live for yourself now. Do what's best for you, James.

James... You made me happy.

[hickeysgodcomplex]

Okay okay okay i have another assessment of the scene where Dundy and Little say they should think about leaving the men behind!

I love that they had Crozier clock the look that Dundy gives Little to tell him to suggest it. Because while I'm sure Edward sees the like... reasoning for it. I think he's also extremely ashamed for suggesting it. Like, he doesn't want to lave them behind. But he wants to live.

And they're all so sick. And it IS an option, and judging by what happens later, I'm sure at least a handful of the "healthy" men have been talking about it too. To their leaders im sure, which are Dundy and Edward.

But i also feel like, maybe Dundy pressed it more. He's like, we should do this. I think he thinks its THEE option. And I love that you can see that Crozier sees that. He knows his men. And he can see that while yes Edward voiced it first, at Dundy's pressing, he also sees that Edward is not set on the idea.

He's nervous saying it, can barely look at Crozier or Jopson. And then Crozier, bless him, forgives Edward on the spot for saying it.

He literally looks at Edward when he says "it's a reasonable logic. And i don't fault anyone..for....following it." He looks at him specifically when he says "following it" like he's pretty sure it wasn't Ned's idea, that he's following what Dundy and some of the other men have suggested maybe?!?!?!

And Edward stops pushing for it, just hangs his head in shame basically, after a long stare down with Jopson. Who keeps staring at him after he hangs his head. More on that in a second...

But Dundy keeps pushing. And Crozier gently continues to decline. Which is all he can really do, at that time. Give better options of things to leave behind.

The thing that got me this rewatch really though, aside from Edward's shame which is just, ever present at the end i think, is how fucking sick Jopson looks, in this scene.

Like they all look tired, Edward looks exhausted. Dundy definitely looks thin and starving. But Thomas looks sick. And we know he has injuries from the past that HAD to have been acting up.

He has some kind if scabby thing at his hairline already. And he just looks so bad. Like, when he said it would be a death sentence for "those men" he knew it meant him as well. He had too.

And it just hurts so fucking much, because his captain looked him in the eyes and told him he wouldn't leave him, and he gets left behind anyway.

And the shittiest part is like... it didnt save them. Leaving the men behind. Whatever happened in their camp as they went was very obviously pretty fucking horrible. And i know they wanted to live, but like, fuck.

If only someone had at least told Jopson what was happening. He didn't even know Crozier was gone. Just thought he was being left behind by the man who promised he'd never do that.... I'm fine. It's fine. I'm good. *having a breakdown*

[vanilladollette]

More of jae-jun pls! 🥹🤍

Silent Confessions || Jeon Jae-Joon x reader ||

Summary: Jeon Jae-Joon, who secretly had a crush on you in high school, sees you years later in his store, only to learn you're now engaged. Heartbroken but hiding his feelings, he regrets never confessing his love as you leave, realizing it’s too late now.

A/n: Jae-Joon may have been too ooc. I don't know. I didn't occur to me if you wanted headcanons or not but here is more Jae-Joon.

If someone had ask Jae-joon if he has any regrets, he'll say no but deep down, he does. One. It was him not confessing his feelings for you. He had fallen in love with you back in High school. He was madly in love with you. However, he never confessed his feelings for you. Not once. He never knew why he didn't confess his feelings for you. Maybe he felt you deserved better or feared you would turn him down.

Whatever the reason it was, Jae-Joon didn't confess to you. It was the only regret he had. The only regret that ate him up at night.

Jae-joon told himself that if he ever got the chance to see you one more time, he would confess his feelings for you.

It was until one day, Jae-Joon sees a familiar figure walked through the door of his store. His heart skipped a beat as he recognized you immediately.

You had changed in subtle ways—your hair was a little longer, your style more polished—but your presence still held the same warmth that had once captivated him. His breath caught in his throat as he watched you browse through the store, his mind racing with memories of the days when he had admired you from afar in high school.

Jae-joon watched you as you moved through the store, his heart heavy with emotions he’d buried long ago. He couldn’t help but notice the changes—the way you carried yourself with a quiet confidence, the soft smile that still seemed to reach your eyes, and the faint glow of happiness surrounding you. Despite the years that had passed, you were still the person he had secretly fallen for in high school, and now, here you were, standing in front of him again.

He cleared his throat, trying to steady himself. It was hard to think clearly with the rush of feelings flooding his mind. Gathering all the courage he could muster, he took a few steps forward and greeted you, his voice betraying just a hint of nervousness. "Hey, it's been a long time."

You turned toward him with a smile, your eyes lighting up with recognition. "Jae-joon!" you said warmly, the sound of your voice like a familiar melody to him. "Wow, I didn’t expect to run into you here. How’ve you been?"

He managed a small smile, though it felt forced. "Good, good. Been keeping busy," he replied, unsure of what to say next. The words he had rehearsed in his mind for so long—everything he had wanted to confess to you—felt distant now.

You started to chat, casually catching up as if no time had passed, but Jae-joon couldn’t focus on the words. All he could think about was how he had never told you what had been in his heart all those years ago. It hurt to hear the easy, light conversation knowing that you were no longer the person he could claim as his own, that you had moved on to someone else.

Then, as you paused in your conversation, you did something that nearly broke him. You lifted your hand, revealing the engagement ring on your finger. His gaze immediately shifted to it, and his heart sank.

"Oh, wow," Jae-joon managed, his voice suddenly distant, though he tried his best to mask the hurt. "I didn’t know you were engaged."

You smiled brightly, a soft, contented look on your face. "Yeah, I’m really happy. It’s been a long journey, but I’ve found someone I want to spend my life with."

The words stung, but he nodded, forcing a smile. "Congratulations. I’m really happy for you," he said, his voice betraying none of the turmoil he felt inside. He couldn’t bring himself to tell you how he still felt, how much he regretted never confessing, how much he wished things had turned out differently.

You chatted for a little longer, but it felt like an eternity to Jae-joon. Every word, every glance from you reminded him of the silent love he had kept hidden for so long. And with every passing moment, the reality that it was too late hit him harder.

"I should get going," you said after a while, breaking him from his thoughts. "I’m meeting my fiancé soon. It was so nice seeing you again, Jae-joon."

You waved and turned to leave, and Jae-joon stood frozen for a moment, watching you walk away. The sound of the door’s bell as you left the store echoed in his ears, leaving a painful silence behind.

In that moment, all the regret he had kept locked inside came rushing back. He should have told you. He should have confessed. But now, it was too late. You were gone, and so were his chances. All he had left were the ghosts of the what-ifs that would never be answered.

As he stood there, the empty store around him seemed to echo the one regret that had haunted him all these years. It was a regret that would never fade, no matter how much time passed. He had missed his chance, and now you were someone else’s.

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

HELP I answered like half of these in my yap session yesterday

I'm just going to answer them anyways XD

Lore and clarification of game dynamics beneath the cut lmfao (I don't have the patience for ask box games today /lh)

1. Does your OC have parents or family in the AU? If not, what is their current living situation?

Vizzie currently lives with her mom. Her dad passed away two years ago over the summer under "mysterious circumstances" - which she fully believes her mother had play in. While she has gathered circumstantial evidence, she has nothing substantial. She and her mother were never on good terms, but without the buffer of her father things have only gotten worse. Her change from grade 9 into grade 10 seemed out of the blue/out of character, but nobody has gotten her to open up about it. She doesn't particularly care if her mother were to do the same thing to her as she suspects she did to her father, but the tension at home is far too much to bear continously, thus her finding every reason to not stay at home.

2. What are their thoughts on Quartz?

She finds her habits interesting. She feels the lovey-dovey act that she puts on after being confronted about following Azul to be extremely artificial - this is just because most emotions that aren't apathy or anger already come off this way to Viz. She likely knows her name and a couple of her classes/what teachers she has. This is pretty standard for most people she meets- she compartmentalizes people's schedules in her head, and knows where people typically are at any given time. This is nothing sinister, it's just information that happens to stick.

3. What is their thoughts and relationship with Azul? How did they meet Azul?

I would like to think she and Azul met in grade 9/the equivalent during some sort of spelling or science competition. While they're not quite as close as they used to be, she will sometimes rib him about academic achievements, and has his phone number. They're good friends, but she's definitely closer to Floyd now than she is with Azul.

4. What are their relationships with other characters/OCs? (THIS IS DYNAMIC!! I CAN AND WILL ADD TO THIS IF OTHER PEOPLE WANT TO CHAT/COLLABORATE!!)

Floyd - honestly, the only person she feels she can act her age around. She loosens up around him - not enough to open up, actually, they know like NOTHING about each other, they just. Vibe. Ride or Die friends. One of the few people that makes her genuinely happy.

Jade - More casual friends. She eats lunch with him sometimes, and they text each other niche microbio/myc-olgy memes :D

Cater - He's a year ahead of her, but her dad (and her) helped him and his family move into their place at the beginning of her grade 9 year/his grade 10. They live down the street from each other, so he would walk her to and from school, and sometimes, to avoid the rising tension at home, she would hang out at his place. She used to walk him through his homework because she would study extra just to try and impress him. He painted her phone case as a thank you. (NOTE: THIS IS NOT MY AU. THIS IS LORE I'M MAKING UP ON THE SPOT. IF IT DOESN'T FIT/OP HAS DIFFERENT IDEAS, THIS IS NULL.) /lh/gen

@distant-velleity Yuhua - friends that fell out over misunderstandings :( She misses his company, but feels that her associating with him might drag him down with her. She knows the standard he holds himself to. She knows she's also been more bristly, harder to talk to, but if not even her former best friend could see past the mask she wears, maybe it's for the better she's no longer 'best friends' with him anyways...

Game Mechanic: If Quartz can make Viz and Yuhua make-up, they'll be able to incapacitate/distract Floyd for some time. This can be achieved by

Sending both of them to detention (medium difficulty, a few hours)

Obtaining Vizzie's journal and giving it to Yuhua (extreme difficulty, the entire next day)

@boopshoops Yuu Shi - Unlikely friends. Viz needed a favour and she paid a good price - Yuu Shi is the only person thus far that has been allowed to read any entry she wants from Vizzie's journal. In exchange, Viz was lent keys long enough to make a replicate of a store room key, and the roof access key. After that, the two keep in touch via post it notes - some are cute, but some hold more significant meaning.

Game Mechanic: If Quartz can get to the sticky notes before Yuu Shi does, (as they are left on the outside of her locker), she may find clues that pertain to Viz and Yuu Shi's future meeting spots to exchange info, puzzles to find out certain people's phone passcodes, or a hint as to where a weapon or usable item may be hidden.

If Quartz is caught by Viz, she'll only end up telling Yuu Shi so as to have someone who is more...influential to start up an embarrassing rumour with some truth to it, or planted evidence to make it true. The sticky notes will no longer be on the outside of Yuu Shi's locker. (They'll find another way)

@alestrameria Yukari - Toxic, one-sided Yuri? (Not on Vizzie's half)

Overall, Viz is a ride or die type of friend once you get to that level of trust. You won't know when you've achieved that though :)

5. What grade/year is your OC? Answered here!

6. What is your OCs goal for the school year or in life?

At this point, she's holding on for the kids she babysits and for her birthday to roll around- so she can finally move out of her mom's goddamned house and maybe hire a P.I to open her dad's case again.

7. Your OC is being framed for murder of another student by Quartz, how does your OC react to that? Does your OC know it's Quartz?

Honestly, being framed makes her a little bit excited, but she'll try not to show it. To her it's a puzzle, it's a matter of backtracking both Quartz's interactions and demeanor. This is a competition, and she doesn't intend to loose. She takes the accusation in stride, but the old 'honour student' comes out. She's direct and concise with her alibi, can and will manipulate the situation to her advantage. After all, she had her mom to learn from :)

8. Your OC notices Quartz carrying a weapon in her skirt pocket. That's strange since the female school uniforms don't have skirt pockets. Does your OC report this?

Nope! She's armed too and she hates the school uniform. Might tell Quartz that it's showing. Depending on how Quartz responds/their friendship level at that point, she may offer to modify her skirt for her, so that the pockets blend more seamlessly into the folds of the skirt, making it more difficult to detect anything in her pockets. If Quartz has pissed her off, when Quartz has gym class she'll be cutting the bottoms out of her skirt pockets. She makes a point of wearing gloves and using her old school uniform, new hairdo, and a mask to be harder to identify. Lockers ain't got shit on her.

9. Where is your OC usually with or at during school? Classes? With Azul? Skipping class? Where do they eat lunch?

She tends to be a bit of a floater during lunch. She doesn't mind keeping her own company, but she likes quieter places. She compulsively memorizes people's schedules - it's really not something she wants occupying her brain space but it does, so if there's someone she wants to meet with or...observe in particular, she usually knows where to go. During school, she skips most of the classes, hiding out in the greenhouse, a storage room, or on the roof of the building....she likes the roof.

10. How are your OC's grades?

Despite the shit she's been through, she was a gifted kid. Now she's just not putting in the same amount of effort, but she's still averaging A-/B+ in most classes. All her assignments are still in on time, and she's there for tests, but she no longer ties her grades to her self-esteem. Her grades still aren't 'good enough' for her mom.

ANYWAYS

There's my yapparoony fest FOR NOW mwahahaha

(No Yan Sim AU) Questions for OCs! + Quartz and other characters' lore

You don't have to do these if you don't want to! You can write and answer how ever you want (3rd person or as the OC)

These answers are just examples and they also give lore to other TWST characters in the AU

1. Does your OC have parents or family in the AU? If not, what is their current living situation?

Riddle currently lives with his mother. Because of her influence, he is the strictest in the student council (which consists of the dormleaders.)

2. What are their thoughts on Quartz?

[You can yap about it here since I already used Quartz as an example in the fourth question]

3. What is their thoughts and relationship with Azul? How did they meet Azul?

Jade is Azul's right hand man. He assists Azul with a lot of student council work and is mostly by his side with Floyd. They are friends from their middle school days and up to their highschool days (although the three of them won't admit it).

Jade found Azul's hardwork and scheming nature very exciting so he and his brother always stayed by Azul's side to see what fun events would happen.

4. What are their relationships with other characters/OCs?

[They are speaking about Quartz as example]

Floyd: "Who again?"

Floyd doesn't really acknowledge Quartz since she's so quick out of his sights. Genuinely believes there isn't a person named that but is suspicious.

Jade: "Oh, that shy girl? She's a little funny."

Definitely suspicious of Quartz but they don't interact much so he has no other information about her. He probably needs to be more skillful when studying her.

Riddle: "Quartz?.. Uh.. I-I don't recall who that is."

Quartz rarely interacts with Riddle.

Ace: "Ah? You mean that girl who's always so weird? I've seen her watch Azul. Pffftt! Do you think she likes him?"

He notices her sometimes because he thinks her appearance is a little flashy.

Idia: "I-Isn't she one of Azul's admirers?... She's the shy type right? She's a little strange though.. Sometimes she takes photos of me! W-Wait.. Maybe she's into me instead?! EEEKK!! H-HOW SCARY!!"

Completely misunderstands Quartz's actions but he's quick to know how weird her actions are. He stays away from her if Azul isn't present.

5. What grade/year is your OC?

Azul, Jade, and Floyd are all 2nd years (17).

Leona has been held back so he is still 20.

6. What is your OCs goal for the school year or in life?

Quartz wishes to kill Azul 🙏

7. Your OC is being framed for murder of another student by Quartz, how does your OC react to that? Does your OC know it's Quartz?

Floyd is jumping her.

8. Your OC notices Quartz carrying a weapon in her skirt pocket. That's strange since the female school uniforms don't have skirt pockets. Does your OC report this?

Riddle is absolutely reporting that! He's calling the cops and everything 🫡🫡🫡

9. Where is your OC usually with or at during school? Classes? With Azul? Skipping class? Where do they eat lunch?

Quartz is always in class but she'll come right before the bell rings since she was.. busy. She doesn't have a particular place she goes to all the time. She's never in one spot.

Quartz's lunch spot varies because she's always spying but her usual spot is in the courtyard.

Riddle is assigned being a hall monitor so he usually watches the halls when he is able to. He usually eats lunch with Trey and Cater.

Leona is always found napping under trees and skipping his classes. Ruggie manages to find him and give him his lunch from the cafeteria.

Rook is watching you.

10. How are your OC's grades?

Deuce tries, ok. (Awful)

[ruporas]

The thing about plant!Wolfwood is that he has never had a say in his own body. It's been used and abused and twisted so much over the years, all without his consent, and he's had to navigate it all on his own. Figure it out or die. The vials won't even let him keep scars, unlike Vash, his body is spotless and pristine, every wound and mortal injury and supposedly permanent scar forgotten almost as soon as it happens. He has never had a say in his body, not before or after the EoM. So him coming back to life as a Plant, or something going wrong and the vials turning him into a plant-hybrid thing, is extra tragic because that's another thing that was done to him without his knowledge or consent, another way that his body has been altered beyond his understanding and without him even being aware of it happening, unable to stop it, too late to do anything but endure and deal with it. Figure it out or die. I don't even think it matters if he gets a fraction of Vash's power. I think the ability to like, telepathically send vibes would be too much for him, enough to make him think of himself as the worst kind of monster, because not only is he going against everything the EoM believed in, but he's mocking Vash for daring to taint his lineage. I think the wings and the sharpened claws and the fangs and things would be just one more thing that was taken from him, another change to his body that he would never understand and can never change, another thing he can never get back. Even Vash, trying to be there for him to walk him through the worst changes and to comfort him, wouldn't be able to give him back what's been taken from him time and time again. Maybe he'll be able to help Wolfwood to love his body in a different way, be able to see the beauty in how he was changed, God's most faithful servant, willing to sprout wings and transform into an angel to better serve his wishes, but regardless, there's nothing that Wolfwood would be able to do about it. His humanity, what little was left of it, was taken from him. Again. Figure it out or die.

😢 it’s entirely what makes it tragic far more for someone like wolfwood. there’s a central part of his ideology that leans on the idea of being human too, what humans must do to live, the actions he’s taken so far because he is human. although it doesn’t make the deeds forgivable, there’s a reason all this time he couldn’t choose anything else.

not sure how to describe it but to me, wolfwood’s relationship with his body has always been fractured. while i think seeing the physical effect of this transformation would horrify him, i think it’d be easier to digest as opposed to anything happening internally. he wouldn’t want the fangs, feathers, wings, and all, but least of all, if he was to go unstable or act without being conscious of it, it’d kill him on the inside terribly. it’s like a true nail in the coffin, no point of return. everything else, while it’s difficult to come around, i feel like wolfwood can adjust to it, foreign as his body is already.

i don’t think vash would assist in him accepting it as reality though, i always imagine he’d be trying to help figure things out - how to revert this change, not live in it. i omitted it from the previous ask, but if we’re taking it as like prior to v7, i’d imagine it’s another question he’d take to knives. perhaps it’s the first time he’s seen it but maybe not his brother, who has done crueler things already. because although not human, vash has lived through it too, when you’re forcibly changed or something inside that he never wanted is pulled out of him. i also don’t think wolfwood would want that reassurance nor would he be super susceptible to it. under those circumstances, i imagined he’d feel resigned to it, but much like wolfwood anything, he’d put up a fight against the loss of it all. his goals doesn’t change, he’ll fight with a gun unless alternatives are an absolute must, he’ll have to keep going until it’s over, and then only after i think he’d be able to grieve properly of what he was made into. much like vash lol

[[[ TRIMAX SPOILERS (V10 MENTION) ]]] in an au like this, i’d imagine he has to survive but if he was to go through that fate, it would be just utterly depressing, like downright Sad😭😭 so i’m taking it as he survives, lives, gets the chance to look back at himself and gradually learn that he’s loved all the same, always has been, always will be. and vash will be there to witness it, live alongside him, and that would be enough. [[[ TRIMAX SPOILERS (V10 MENTION) END ]]]

it’s bound to be a tragic au regardless though, putting him through the wringer and he’ll be suffering ten times over…

[k33bsstuff]

Blue Lock Zombie Apocalypse Au

Hiyaaaa!!! I've never actually wrote a story before or whatever. But years of reading fanfics has kinda motivated me I guess.

I've notice a severe lack of blue lock zombie apocalypse AUs which is kinda sad cus I love ZA au's and theyre just too freaking cool.

I don't think I'll write a proper story with chapters and stuff but instead with different characters and oneshot type things ya know?

There's not gonna be much of a description but who cares. Sorry that it is short too. Just trying test my writing ability. If you have any tips or opinions or anything in general please comment!

Reader

Reo

Nagi

Hope you enjoy my first story 🫶🏾🫶🏾

Apocalypse Buddies!

Ft Nagi Seishiro, Reo Mikage and Gn Reader!

2 years. It has been 2 years since you last abandoned your own home to venture out into this rotting landscape that you now unfortunately find yourself in. Miles for miles of rotten corpses is all you see staggering around the desolate earth. Despite the feelings of exhaustion of evading death every single day, you push them aside as you focus on what is infront of you, or perhaps the treasuring site of your two best friends nagging at each other over the last chocolate granola bar.

In this so called office building, You, Nagi and Reo are camping for the night after a few tiresome days of scavenging for resources and avoiding becoming zombie food. Sitting in the middle of the depressing once called printer room are you three. Nagi crosses his legs and slouches as he sits on a small miserable pile of blankets, while Reo who is next to him also sits in discomfort due to the hard floor, the light of the makeshft lamp flickers, illuminating Reos dirtied skin. While you, sitting infront of them chewing on an bet before 5 month old oat bar. The expired groans of the undead are faint in the background, the thick walls of the office building filtering out some of the sound. The contents of your backpack scattered out in the middle of you 3.

"Is this all you could get (name)?

Nagi asked, in his regular boring, slightly raspy tone. His grey tired eyes flicked up to meet your (eye colour) coloured ones, his expression as careless as ever. For some reason the way Nagi asked you that question ticked you off. Maybe it's because of his judgmental emphasis on 'all'...or maybe it's due to his overall lackadaisical nature which bugs you from time to time despite it not being very convenient for the survival of the living dead.

Reo, slightly tired by Nagis insensitive antics sighs and give him a little nudge.

"Cmon Nagi, it's not that bad. They did a pretty good raid in my opinion, you just gotta look at it with a better perspective!"

Reo grinned with his signature smirk as his eyes darted from your tired state to Nagis slumped form.

"What are you on Nagi. Nothings wrong with a few granola bars and a magazine"

You spat back at Nagi. Not taking his stupid ignorant comment despite your exhausted state. You stretch your arms, small popping noises from the joints in your arms echo through the rather silent room, the only other noise emitting from the crackle of the flame from the d.i.y lamp that you spent all your time making to look appealing in contrast to the wrecked world you've sadly found yourself in.

Nagi rubbed his nose with his long, slender index finger and lazily reaches to his disgusting state of a backpack. He carelessly shook out the contents, dropping a couple of torches, batteries, hooks an already used hammer and a small bottle of antiseptic.

"Nagi careful with that stuff. We're lucky to see such supplies like this without it already being wrecked."

You and Reo scan over the loot that came from Nagis bag. You pick a torch and fiddle with it, flicking the ON/OFF switch playfully.

"Atleast I got something that we can actually use"

"We can eat the granola bars and use the magazine. I think I was being pretty smart about this actually."

"None of us own a gun"

"Shut the Fuck up"

":x"

Nagi just looks at you, in sort of an inspecting manner. You notice his eye contact and stop what you're doing. You slowly but cautiously move the torch into Nagis face, your calloused fingers gripping onto the flash light tightly. Reo, still getting a sense of the valuable items that Nagi brought , mumbles to himself about the efficiency or some shit. Your eyes flick from the white-haired man's piercing gaze to the cylinder- shaped flash light in your grasp then to him again. You flick the switch but nothing seems to be happening. You open the back of the torch and replace the useless batteries with the new ones that Reo was inspecting, earning a small "Hey!" Of annoyance from him. You slap the back right on and point the torch at Nagis face.

"Don't point it in my face"

"it's not like it's gonna work anyway. We dont know if these batteries are dead or not,

Seeee."

A bright white light blinds Nagi as he winces and covers his eyes with his roughed up hands.

"My bad"

You mutter under your breath as you shamefully put away the flash light. You unravel the tough wrapper of the 5 month expired granola bar and take small bite out of it, trying to savour the taste of the bland but somehow comforting bar.

Half and hour later

You Reo and Nagi are feasting on the not so tasty granola bars but, it will make do. Reo, eyeing the last manky granola bar speaks up with pieces of the expired snack still being chewed up in his mouth

"Last bars mine"

With a look of pure disgust you speak up, only to be cut off by the white-haired slouching giant hastily swallowing his bar, replying in a stern tone.

"No it isn't. It's mine"

"Says who?"

"Says me."

The young purple haired man side eyes Nagi then lunges for the granola bar. Nagi, knowing his companion for far too long also lunges for the last granola bar. As the two young adults tackle each other over the small gold worth bar of nuts and all sorts you can't help but smile and watch them in awe.

Maybe leaving home wasn't so bad after all.

[my-cat-ate-your-appendix]

A few theories floating around in my head that aren't based on anything, just me wildly speculating possibilities (and when I saw wild, I really mean it):

1) That book and that key

As was pointed out by user goodbye432, we can see that Violet's key comes out of the book, but this key still remains.

I feel like this could be a gateway key that helps all the keys find each other? Or it could be the book that acts as a gateway. Or maybe both of them as a combination act as a gateway?

Point is, that key definitely isn't a key that gathers narratonin

It doesn't have the narratonin compartment that all the other keys have

The whole structure is different, actually.

So it's probably not a key that was in the original story-key roster. Maybe it was created after the other keys to help them find each other better? Maybe Nox himself created this key while he was still a human? Maybe Nox created this key after he became a key? Maybe Nox didn't have anything to do with it at all? Maybe it was accidentally made by a cat named Prunella?

Personally, I don't think that key is sentient (like, I don't think it has a tiny goober form like the other keys), either, but that really has no basis at all. It very well could.

2) Are the stories themselves sentient?

The story just wants to be enjoyed, the story just wants to be finished, the story doesn't want to be destroyed. The story's sounding an awful lot like a sentient creature right now.

We know that the keys don't decide anything about the story, and nor do the holders of the keys. So who decides when the story ends? Who decides the amount of enjoyment (and therefore the amount of narratonin) received from the story? My bet's on the story itself.

I don't think this is going to have much relevance in the actual plot, but it was just interesting to think about.

3) Silver is in on it

Silver knows something. This has such major foreshadowing with this particular panel:

and then the scene immediately cuts to Silver

Suspicious. Also, so far, Silver's key is the only key that was left around with a note. Bronze and Goldie were literally on sale in a flea market. Silver's key, on the other hand, was left in the library, very clearly intentionally. It was meant to be found, just not by Chase.

And why was Silver broken? What happened? Did she just like, fall? I don't think so.

This is not necessarily a bad thing, since we all know that Silver adores Chase as well as her family and would never agree to endanger them again. Maybe she escaped and was supposed to help the other keys escape too? Maybe she was supposed to help Nox escape? Maybe she did help some of the keys escape, but not the others? Maybe she's part of the FBI? Who knows? Not me, that's who.

4) What's up with Ex Libris anyway?

So far, we've been hearing of Ex Libris as this kind of Big Bad Organisation, but we've never actually seen them make a move? I think it's clear now that Nox wasn't working for the Ex Libris, but rather for his own motives, so it isn't as if the Ex Libris sent him either.

So does the Ex Libris just like, not know that half of it's keys are missing and another key is trying to turn human? Or does it know and is deciding to not do anything about it?

Or does it know and can't do anything about it? What if the Ex Libris has been disbanded, and the keys just don't know about it? That's not quite feasible, I know, considering that Violet and Buddy are probably in the Ex Libris facility right now but that's just our assumption, y'know? They might be in hiding. I'm pretty sure Ex Libris wouldn't want Buddy turning back into a human, so they're definitely going behind Ex Libris' back to do what they're doing, so why can't they be in hiding? Why can't they be totally unaware of what's going on in Ex Libris?

Or maybe the Ex Libris isn't evil at all? They seem more like a bunch of sleep-deprived scientists making one mad discovery after another. If I'm right about the artificial key Buddy theory (see this post) then I admit that would make them more evil, but maybe they're aware of that. Maybe they know that what they did was wrong, and regret it. Maybe all the unethical experimentation was done by a far, far older batch of the Ex Libris, and the new generation of the Ex Libris is strictly vegan and on the keys' side. Maybe they're choosing to help by ignoring. Maybe there's a helper on the inside. Maybe it's Chase's dance partner who never shows up to practices.

Maybe he never shows up to practices because he's too busy trying to save the keys from the Ex Libris. Poor guy.

5) Chase's friends

Yeah, they're definitely not just there to show us that hey! Chase actually has friends his own age! It just doesn't line up.

Maybe one of them's going to coincidentally show up in the same book as Chase and Nox some other time, and Nox is just going to stare at Chase and Chase will be like "Dude I swear I had absolutely no idea this time."

I just think that would be funny.

That's all I can think of right now. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk, I'll be disappearing off of the face of Earth now.

(On a totally unrelated note, a few months ago, my school counsellor told me I should test for ADHD)

[dropthedemiurge]

Usually, I have only one fandom for a few years, I really cannot multifandom because I want to dive deep and know and follow everything, and I can't go into hyperfocus with several different artists or shows. But last year I saw Love for Love's Sake and fell in love with Lee Taevin, all acting, his manners, attitude and soul-whispering late night DJ voice – and somehow, I keep returning to him. And I keep going to his solo events too. I joined his fancafe and added many fan accs on twitter. And I went to his Bday/debut cafe as well. It doesn't help that Taevin's/LFLS fans in Korea are so fun and generous and prepare cool stuff they give out for free :')

ANYWAY I LITERALLY BUMPED INTO TAEVIN TODAY! I was gonna go to a couple of his Bday cafes, but then I saw on twitter that he already attended two of them and thought I totally missed him (I still had 30min subway ride to that area). So I was like: I don't have a great luck, at least I gave him high five last fanmeeting – and I went to the cool gamer-like cafe. Saw a huge line of fans, turned around and exited, thinking I'd better come later when there aren't many people, first I'll go to a different one next street. And as I came out of the building, literally Taevin hopped right in front of my face to the banner xD I stopped like a deer in headlights – I'm so lucky I managed to pull my phone and start filming, although my filming skills are sooo awful (cuz I try not to shove phones in artists' faces so I never know where exactly I point the camera)

And once Taevin was done taking photos, he saw me and I said: "Happy Birthday!!!" He was so surprised (probably not expecting a foreign fan recognizing him on the street) and was like "THANK YOU!" And then smiled so widely his eyes closed and did the 🙏 thanking gesture. His bodyguard smiled at me too.

Well, I went back to the cafe but since there was a line, we had to stay on the stairs and waited for him to go play with fans in the cafe. We said hi and wished him a HBD again when he was walking out :] (he was so busy waving and thanking the fans for coming that he bumped his head on a fire alarm, and was pouty about it xD)

Anyway, next to me was another foreigner (the only other one in sight) so when he came out, he did the 👁️👄👁️ face one again, full of surprise, and made sure to slow down and greet her directly (and smiled at me again). It's so funny, doesn't he know he has many foreign fans?xD He's actually quite popular in Korea, with guys and girls, even more than Joowan, I was surprised. Maybe he didn't expect someone to be his fan outside of BL events?

Anyway. I didn't talk to him much but even in these short interactions Lee Taevin radiates such warmth?? And I love his thoughts during LFLS interviews etc. Plus, he's almost the same age as me do I don't feel weird being a fan of some really young artist.

ANYWAY. I feel like I don't have a choice but to stan. Like, actually stan. I'm sorry to my K-pop ult group of 8 years, I will be cheating on you, but this guy. Lee Taevin. Lee Sewoong. Is so precious... 🥺

(and the cafe event was really fun and dope! They even had gacha and game arcades. I got a lot of gifts once again... where am I supposed to store them all?! don't multifandom, friends)