#i don't feel great about anyone tbh
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Disventure Camp All Stars Power Ranking (Round 13 - Venus)
Recap: Yul's Elimination (8/9 pts)
Total Points: 8/9
Well, I sure did rank those powers! Not bad for a first week, I think. Yul's elimination was pretty obvious, but I did think it was possible to likely that we'd set up some other plotlines with some other characters BEFORE getting rid of Yul.
Instead, the Yul plot thread is over, and other than the Alec/Riya kiss, we don't have that many active plot threads. We're probably gonna start some new ones this episode! The scary thing is that if we're starting the plot threads next episode, I have, like... almost nothing to go off of for this week's power rankings. I'm not even good at trailer analysis like Accirax, soooo... good luck to me, I guess.
Anyways, here's my best shot! I fully expect this to be my worst week this season!
1: Gabby
I really struggled with where to put Gabby. She and Grett just completed a major friendship plotline, so like... where to?
I don't really think either Grett or Gabby will go down this episode, just because I think it'd be nice to have a full episode of them getting to be friends without Yul being there without one of them getting kicked out at the end. Sacred space. Plus, if you roughly assume the heroes are still working together, as are Alec and Riya, Gabby and Grett might be swing votes. I assume they'll be working together, but there's reason to believe the pair might go in either direction. That gives them power, at least in the short term.
2: Grett
However, unlike Gabby, I think Grett is more at risk of going home. Grett's arc this season is clearly about breaking free from needing Yul's approval and finding a genuine friend in Gabby. I think it would be sort of fucked up to have her realize Gabby is the friend she always needed and then IMMEDIATELY cut that friend out of the game, leaving her alone again. Plus, I'm not sure exactly what Gabby's arc is, whereas Grett has pretty clearly completed hers.
That being said, I'm only barely putting Grett in the bottom half. I still don't really think she's going home for the reasons I mentioned in the Gabby section. I could definitely see her going soon, if she's not intended to be an end gamer, but I definitely also think she could be. Grett as a final 3 pick with Gabby on her bench feels really viable to me. I even think she could win, if they wanted a pretty thoroughly redeemed villain.
3: Jake
When in doubt, hopefully my winner pick is safe.
I just feel like Jake's been set up to have more character to arc! He's definitely getting better about working with other people and not being incredibly paranoid and all that, but he's still got some room to go until he finishes his arc.
It seems like he's fighting with someone (could be literally anyone lol) in the trailer for this week's episode, which also means that he's not above bickering or anything. He's still Jake.
Basically, that's a long way to say that it seems like this season has big plans for Jake, and I don't think they'd take him out with little enough setup. I do worry a LITTLE bit putting him so high, just because there's probably a lot of people who'd be willing to vote Jake, but I just don't see it happening from a narrative perspective.
4: Alec
My list, my rules. Alec is GOING to go further, trust me bro.
In all seriousness, I don't think Alec would go home this upcoming episode. He's spent a lot of the season being a successful mastermind, and it seems like last episode kicked off his cringefail loser arc. I think it'd be sad to only give him two episodes to be a cringefail loser, plus it might be a little unsatisfying if he just... leaves off there. Obviously there'd still be the losers' motel; similar to how Ally and Hunter wanted to work things out off screen, it could make sense if, say, Alec and Riya got to talk without the cameras being on. Still, I think Alec's got at least a few more episodes in him.
Obvious cons: Alec is a super big threat (he won like 3 challenges in a row and probably only lost last challenge because he didn't claim a superpower) and is running short on allies. I'm kind of assuming the villain/hero dichotomy is largely dead after last episode, and I don't know how much loyalty, say, Grett and Gabby would have if they're not bound by the alliance. Alec is also seen talking to both Connor and Riya in the trailer, which could be a good way to tie up some of his loose threads.
Whatever, he hasn't failed me before. Just win immunity again or something.
5: Connor
Still cannot shake the unshakable feeling that Connor has More To Do. He once again wasn't super important last episode, so everything I said last time about him needing to do more to justify being the returnee still holds. This time, he's at least talking to Alec, which probably means development for both of them. He'll also probably be very cringe in the seemingly TikTok themed challenge, so there's that.
As with the two above him, I'd be a bit worried about Connor pulling votes again, given that he was the previous target of the villains. However, I don't REALLY think anyone heroes side would vote for him, meaning that he shouldn't pull a majority of the votes, at least.
Additionally, I think it's very possible he'll be a major part of Alec's way back into the game (possibly mixed with some kind of redemption arc for Alec?), which means that he'd need to stick around a little longer. I definitely feel like we're about to enter the Connor plotline zone, which means he really should have a couple more episodes in him at least.
6: Ally
I still don't really know what to do with Ally. I continue to put her third from the bottom, just because there's less reason to actively put her higher in my mind, but there isn't really anything that pushes her towards the very bottom either.
I am excited to see what Ally's up to this episode, because if the challenge does have to do with social media, I'm expecting it to be something along the lines of "whoever gets the most likes wins the challenge." Based on her obsession with whether or not the viewers like her, that certainly seems like it'll do something.
I also have this crack theory I only half believe that Ally could join up with Riya and Alec if she sees that, like, the villains are more popular on social media or something because they're taking the game more seriously (which I'm pretty sure was what she got criticized for not doing last time). That would help capitalize on Riya setting that up earlier while also giving Alec and Riya a way to not necessarily get straight swept. If that's the case, I'd bet on a Riya immunity win, which further highlights the popularity of the villain character she portrays.
I don't super believe that theory, though, so who knows what Ally's doing! I just want to record it on the off chance that it's how the story actually goes.
7: Aiden
In my mind, Aiden and Riya are both in danger as people who made the finals in their original season. I feel like either of them being a losing finalist again wouldn't have much spice to it, and I don't really expect either of them to win. Additionally, Aiden and Jake seem to have fully made up at this point, their collective immunity win last week serving as a good symbol of that, so I could see Aiden getting cut.
My vision for the next couple episodes is that we're transitioning from the midgame to the endgame. As a result, the people who will be in our top 5 or 6 or so and have plot significance as the finalists are being picked will be getting new plotlines, and people whose plotlines are already more or less resolved will be at risk of getting eliminated, just kinda because. Aiden definitely feels like he could be cut in that group to me.
The big thing with Aiden is just that I'm not sure exactly where the votes come from. I do think it could be nice to take out a hero, just so that it doesn't feel like Alec and Riya are both doomed, but it's also obviously possible that one of the two of them will go down and the other will have to play in isolation for a little while.
I think the most likely way for an Aiden boot to happen is either a clutch immunity totem from, say, Riya, who would probably want to eliminate Aiden or Connor if she has her full shot, or if Ally does flip to join Alec and Riya. I think Ally would probably rather target Jake, but whatever.
8: Riya
I am by no means confident in a Riya boot, but when I assess the cast, it makes the most sense to me by far.
I think both Alec and Connor are going to make late game (if I had to lock it in right now, I'd say the final 5 are going to be Alec, Connor, Jake, Ally and either Gabby or Grett, meaning that one of Gabby/Grett, Aiden and Riya will collectively make up our next 3 boots). However, leaving Alec, Connor and Riya around is just... a large percentage of people to remain in that group. Similar to how Tom got eliminated when it was about time to cut one of the Aiden/Tom/Jake trio, I think Riya is the most expendable of the Alec/Connor/Riya trio.
She could easily get a lot of votes if we are in a weird in-between period of alliances, just because she is pretty problematic and a lot of people would be willing to vote her out. It's true that Grett might still be somewhat aligned with her, since Riya defended Grett from Yul, but I don't think that's something she can bank on, at least.
I also think it would be interesting to see how Alec and Connor move forward alone, as two people that Riya rejected romantically in favor of the game and her camera appearances. Assuming Riya refuses to budge on that for the rest of the season, which I am, I don't think she has much to say to Connor, and after talking to Alec this episode, I can believe she wouldn't have much room to grow in her relationship with Alec with the cameras on, either.
I definitely think Riya could win immunity here; I honestly think that timeline I discussed with Ally is probably her best bet. Though, barring anything weird, I still think she's the most likely so far.
#disventure camp#dcas#dcas spoilers#disventure camp spoilers#dcas power rankings#no overall theories this time bc i don't have any new ones#hopefully i am not SO incredibly wrong but it's very possible#i don't feel great about anyone tbh#i'm an alec believer don't @ me
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
The thing no one ever considers while writing up character analyses about Merlin is that. he must have been sooooooo sleepy.
#I see everyone talking about the nuances when you look at Merlin through [x] lens#BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SLEEPY LENS#WE CAN’T KEEP SLEEPING ON THE SLEEPY LENS#(can u tell I'm exhausted)#see this reads as if I'm joking but I'm actually being SO serious. I think the lack of rest was a significant factor in Merlin's conduct#IF he got a solid 8 hours of sleep + 2 hours minimum JUST to himself everyday uninterrupted... I just know things would turn out different#like it isn't even asking for much. decent sleep + a frankly sad amount of down-time. and yet. I know he didn't get that w those 3 jobs#ugh#he must have been TIRED do you hear me#even applies to morgana she looked tired tbh. those prophetic dreams probably weren't great for restfulness. sad what she did but#she did seem sleepy#okay ignore this I am going through it. extrinsic intrinsic coagulation pathways have gotten to me if u know what I mean#actually wait no if anyone sees this don't ignore it#HE MUST HAVE BEEN SO SLEEPY and everyone must understand. SLEEPy.#I hope I do not wake up and reread this and wonder why I posted this. but like I feel like I am the correctest person on planet earth rn#I've been thinking abt merlin's nap deprived state for years now tbh#merlin#bbc merlin
186 notes
·
View notes
Text
In defense of late-canon x files (including the revivals)
I was thinking about this poll after I commented on it, and I kinda want to be brave and say more.
Short answer to the poll's question before I go any further: If you're a new fan and a sensitive sort who thinks you'll struggle with your blorbos Really Going Through It and you really need a happy ending, I suggest you stop at the end of season 8. Do not pass go, do not look at spoilers. Disregard this post entirely, close the internet, and go look at something that makes you happy. (Also fuck every part of society that characterizes sensitivity as inherently weak and bad and some kind of personal failing, you are valid.)
That said, "quality" as a concept is entirely subjective, and the question of whether or not there's a decline in quality for any story is wholly subjective, too. In the case of x files? I'm not convinced there is a decline. I am going to be upfront that I haven't yet watched past season 8, though I am almost completely spoiled on events after that - and the reason I haven't watched yet is not because of how I know events are going to unfold, but simply because I don't want it to end!!! Ohh, the tension between "I CAN'T WAIT!!!" and "Nooo don't be over D:"
When I first came to txf fandom on tumblr and gradually became spoiled about what happens in late canon though, I was often left uncomfortable and tbh kinda queasy about it. As I said in my comment on the poll, the hate for especially the revival and IWTB, or to a lesser extent even seasons 8 & 9, is very well documented. But! There are other takes to be found here on tumblr if you figure out where to look, and my feelings have changed!
The thing is, I have yet to find myself in any fandom where there isn't a vocal subset of fans who dislike the story after a certain point. I am not joking when I say that no one hates the things they love as passionately as sci-fi and fantasy fans. In my experience, it often hinges on the extent to which a viewer has strong notions on where they would like the characters to end up. In particular with series where shipping is a dominant component for the bulk of a fandom, I have almost universally found that there comes some turning point in the story where "let them be happy you cowards" is the dominant view, and things that compromise the attainment of a degree of romantic stability and/or domesticity are, to many fans, annoying at best and despicable at worst. But! As one tagset on the linked poll said:
and I think for any fandom, that last tag especially is so so so important. (I think that's harder for people watching a weekly series live, bc you have so much time to analyze and speculate and dream before the next breadcrumb drops, but I digress.)
So why am I saying this and how do I apply it to x files? Well, I eventually found that there are also a subset of fans who find redeeming things right up to the very end and actually quite like the whole thing! The things that I had seen people rage and ventpost so much about honestly never quite sounded to me as "out of character" or "untrue to the story" etc as those same ventposts made them sound. And I've discovered I'm not the only one who felt that way. Do I love that the spooky squad had to go through all of those things? No, those poor guys D: Life is hard and they have been through so much trauma. But do those events and their choices make sense to me in light of everything that came before? Yes! And I honestly can't wait to see them fight to overcome those things, breaking, healing, always learning, always growing, always getting better.
So if you're wondering "where does it go wrong"... well, I'm a completionist, as many people who've answered that post are, but also my personal opinion is that I don't think it does go wrong. If you're new and interested in exploring why I've gone from "vaguely queasy" to "excited" about the whole thing, or want to maybe balance out the impressions you're getting about the later seasons before deciding whether or not you want to see the whole thing, I'll put a few blog names in the comments.
Final admission: even once I started feeling a little more confident in the possibility that "actually ok maybe I'm not crazy, maybe this all kind of is in character and does make sense", there was one big plot point that I was NOT looking forward to and I thought I would never be comfortable about. In hindsight, I think my discomfort came from the negative responses being SO seemingly universal that I hadn't stopped to let myself truly consider other possible interpretations on that point. (I mean my initial instinct when I first read about it was, why are we mad about this?? CSM is literally the most unreliable narrator in history???? it's obviously fake news?????? this must be either a fever dream someone's having or it's a misdirection ploy against whatever shadowy forces might still be lurking?????????????? but for whatever reason I guess I had halfway written that off.) Happily, just last month there's a new post-s11 novel out, and although reviews for the book as a whole are mixed, it seems to have laid the groundwork for resolving that plot issue in a way I think most fans would be broadly happy with. If you're interested in being spoiled about that and seeing how, I recommend searching #perihelion on @agent-troi who liveblogged reading it with receipts, scroll back chronological-style to the first post on the subject and see how it unfolded. (And never forget that Dana Katherine Scully is the queen of denial as a coping mechanism lol)
Everyone's mileage will vary. Each person can feel however they want! But for anyone new, I wanted you to know that the very many ventposts you might be seeing are not all there is to this show or its fandom. Some of us love it despite - or even because of - all the things that went "wrong". I think we just don't talk about it as much.
#i don't talk about it much because tbh it can get *fraught*. and i've had that in other fandoms too.#i added and deleted so many qualifiers from this post over it lmao#people are passionate about fandom which is great! as a concept#but it sucks feeling like most people hate the thing you love or that - however diplomatically it's phrased - you should hate it too#or that folks think maybe you *would* be mad if you just looked at it a certain (sometimes seemingly cast as the 'correct') way#basically it's insane that half the time when i see people standing up and praising the revival i'm like 'damn bruh. you brave'#and feeling that way is partly a me thing. but i've seen posts that also lead me to believe it's not JUST a me thing yaknow?#i always wonder whether the 'vocal subset' in any given fandom who hate a thing are really the majority that they appear to be#or if they just appear to be the majority because they've needed to be vocal about it as a sort of internet support group thing lol#which fair enough i mean anyone's entitled to be disappointed or have feelings#for me? i don't think i can remember ever being mad about a series i liked#i'm just here for the vibes man i very rarely have fixed notions#i say to the writers: go ahead and surprise me. i'll make sense of pretty much anything they throw at me#i also think about a dd quote i saw ages ago that as an actor you (paraphrased): can't say 'the character would not do that'#...because if it's in the script then by definition they *did* do that. it's right there on the page.#and that's kind of me as a fan too.#p.s. i fucking love season 8 i love angst and holy shit it delivers. the new characters are fantastic the journey is *chef's kiss* and#yes i consider certain temperamental even assholeish behavior to also be *chef's kiss* there's so much trauma so much reason for it#it's be-yoo-ti-ful 💕 season 8 my beloved 😍#anyway watch it all watch none do what you want. just know that there are people who would cuddle the whole damn thing from start to finish#like a floppy wet lil raggedy ann doll if only they COULD#x files#the x files#txf revival#txf thoughts#i love you floppy wet raggedy ann doll
61 notes
·
View notes
Text
🥲
#mod talk#This isn't Twitter so I'm not gonna say ''don't send hate to the admins'' because we're all better than that#TBH I had a feeling they'd make this one count since Bobby's counted and this was basically the same thing#but agh. still a bit gutted#at least it wasn't his last life#I'll be honest - I'm on team ''get rid of the life system for the eggs'' and I have been for a while now#I think the first week after the ''reset'' (it's not a reset they just moved to a different part of the Island)#was a great example of how much more fun things could be if Eggs can't die anymore#Other people have said it but barely anyone does dungeons anymore because they don't want to risk the lives of their Eggs#it's fun seeing them all hanging out and fighting together!#and even knowing they were immortal it was still scary seeing them get downed! A bit funny too depending on the circumstance but u know#anyways that's my two cents. I'm sad but I'm not gonna make a huge fuss about it#maybe the life system will change someday
76 notes
·
View notes
Text
n*loth not being able to bag anyone over the (human term) age of 25-30 at most is the only logical and real conclusion to me because it can be just explained away as him wanting to prove and control everything and anyone (Cus he's a man!) but being stuck in that demographic because his unbearable and vile personality is a force that nobody can look past once they've outgrown the possible fear and idolization period of anyone but also n*loth in particular.
#text#i think even younger ones that possess the same nasty traits can be slammed back 'In their place' (in his mind) by him just bc his -#- abilities and power alone (alt. name the factors that make him 'Cool') that dumbs them down insanely in comparison#maybe by this i mean like; ild*ri. despite the animosity she could still feel very foolish and is conscious of her wuss-ness#if that makes sense#cause no matter the disrespect anyone might have for an older capable person the reality is still reality#tbh i just think he doesn't like to sweat it much and still aims for the younger ones bc it's easier than it would be for someone that's -#- 30+ years old#and once he's proven his point he doesn't find any merit in sticking with older ones cause their interests or anything they offer -#- don't matter to or interest Him personally#i think an older demographic is just more boring to him and he would rather spend his time being metaphorically sucked off for his greats -#- by someone that already finds themselves 'lesser' than him and always will for a long time#than someone that is defiant of that fact#basically the more power imbalance the better#in his mind there will always be one unless he certainly knows someone is his equal (or better than him) but he likes the add-on of an -#- age difference too#keeps it in a safe zone with less problems for him#sorry for spitting again my brain just started machine-gunning thoughts for no reason#also i said before that he's an innocence fan. might not be a total puritan but there's something there#it's kinda like him not wanting to be with a dusty ''OLD'' person that's seen a lot anyway#i'm like barely able to hold myself back from opening my mouth to mention t*lvas where i'm making a point about n*loth's brain where he -#- isn't even needed to prove it#but like#him voicing dislike of n*loth general nauseating character and actions but still sucking up to him while n*loth can probably feel -#- that dislike anyway is cute to me i like to view it as an object being thrown into the wall over and over#where n*loth is proving his own worth to other people by drilling their brains out with proof. not that he needs to#but he would like that to be perfected a 100%#and t*lvas is capable of being molded into that state ....... probably#silusvesuisuis you didnot just confess to wanting to see t*lvas be slammed into a wall you fucked up demented beast you're sick#actually can't believe i forgot to mention this but he's literally so immature idk what he has anything in common with actual mature people
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
ugh. some thoughts.
really been trying to find the joy in drawing/writing again and honestly it's been such a challenge. friends have told me it's most likely depression that's making it hard to feel motivated and tbh they're probably right.
hoping to get back into being creative in the way I Want to be at some point tho. I miss it. there's still so much with my stories and characters that I haven't been able to share or explain and I wish I knew how without it feeling like this daunting, impossible task.
I don't know when I'll get around to actually sharing art again (or writing, if ever). was hoping that I'd manage to get some of my mental and physical issues in check recently for just long enough to get back into the swing of being creative, but that hasn't seemed to work. everything feels bad, both artistically and physically. I'm struggling to keep up with the frantic pace at which my brain comes up with story concepts and intriguing character interactions, even tho everything in me wishes I could turn it into tangible artistic expression so I can get it out of my head and share it. it used to be easy. I don't know why it's not now.
I'm just . tired, I guess.
#spectre says#text post#negative#vent post#delete later#sorry#i probably shouldn't post this idk#tbh i know i've said this a million times but. even if i'm struggling to draw or whatever#i'm still open for asks. i want so badly to talk about my characters and the things i've been unable to explain through art#but i can't get my own thoughts together enough to know where to start with that in like. just a random post#and asks would be a great way for me to actually focus on one concept at a time based on whatever you guys are curious about#but i hate sounding like i'm begging for attention/interaction i just. genuinely don't know if anyone is interested otherwise#and if you guys do want to know more you HAVE to tell me directly#because vague forms of engagement are difficult for me to comprehend or read between the lines of#i can't read minds obviously ><;;#i know ask culture has changed a lot over the years tho and a lot of ppl don't like sending them out of being shy or whatever#which i understand#it's kind of an awkward form of engagement that no other site really has#so no pressure i'm just letting you know that I won't know if any of you guys are interested in learning more about my stuff#if i'm not told directly is all#anyway. tangent aside#its just been rough mentally my dudes. hopefully things clear up at some point and i won't feel so dead all the time#and actually have the mental clarity to continue drawing/writing like i used to again;;; God willing;;
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
genuinely always so shocked to see mirei hate. like literally god forbid women do anything.
#y5 haters in general... does playable haruka mean nothing to you...#DOES SHINADA TATSUO MEAN NOTHING TO YOU...#for legal reasons this is a joke people are allowed to feel however they want about whatever it's just viddy games#and i fully acknowledge y5 and its litany of flaws#of which there are certainly enough for any given individual to justifiably dislike/hate its entirety but I AM A Y5 LOVER THRU AND THRU#saejima's arc is just an arguably less interesting rehash of the one he had in 4?#(jail; jailbreak; betrayed by his lil buddy guy#but now we're sans the interesting character stuff of his feelings regarding the hit. & also i miss his hair.#& that's not even to say i think saejima is boring in y5 i think there's some interesting subtext to take away from his character#unique to this entry but it's pretty hard to deny how much is literally just y4 again but now he's bald)#BUT WHO GAFS he got buffed to hell gameplay-wise and punches bears now#and also baba's a great character and he doesn't have to do a whole chase minigame if a cop sees him anymore#bloated/unfocused feeling in general to the game?#WELL THAT'S JUST MORE CONTENT BABY!!! only a real issue if you're a completionist imo#+ are u telling me you don't wanna drive a taxi? u don't wanna play a video game in which the goal is to drive as normally as possible?#and i loveeeee multiple protagonists yay <3 y0 y4 and y5 are my favs so far lol (up to y6)#kiryu's inclusion in y5 also feels way more justified than in y4. he was so tacked on there i'm trying to remember what he even really did#other than tiger dropping as a boss fight before instantly forgetting how to tiger drop the second he became playable#and losing track of yasuko and getting tag-teamed by akiyama and tanimura (cough) and beating up daigo#but in exchange akiyama becomes the protag that feels kinda tacked on in y5. way less so than kiryu in y4 tho for sure#anyway. weird/strangely justified plot beats? WELL THAT'S JUST EVERY YAKUZA GAME#an arguably strange/poor writing choice for majima especially given how he ended up being written in y0?#well honestly other than the age thing i think it makes him more interesting... he's kinda fucked up!#but i do get why people are /really/ not a fan of it. ik i just said i think it makes him more interesting but if it gets retconned#or even just never mentioned again i wouldn't be surprised tbh and i wouldn't say that i'd mind either#but additionally he's not even a major character in y5 so it feels like it's not really a significant complaint imo#anyway anyone can do this ('this' being acknowledging the flaws of a thing and then letting how much they otherwise enjoy#said thing determine how much they let said flaws influence their overall opinion) ...such is the beauty of subjectivity... i love you.#contra.txt#yakuza
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
youtube
Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack! Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new. Enjoy!
#soundtrack#music#indiegamedev#Youtube#beasties of greenhollow#indiegame#chiptune#elphame#hey again gang. Another scream into the void#Things have been getting more interesting tbh#I'm starting therapy again. I have learned from this that my anxiety is in the very very high end.#And I guess the only thing that surprises me about that is that it's an abnormally high amount vs the average.#I've had more intrusive thoughts this week than in a long time. (I almost said ever but that was 2021 where they woke me up...)#It's mostly about my mistakes and ppl I've scared out of being in my life because of the actions based on my anxieties.#Like “if i could go back in time I could fix it”... girl you'd be going back in time like 100 times. At that point it's not fair lmao#I think I shouldn't talk about who I'm dating here anymore. Friends told me to stop seeing so many new people and I took that advice.#I'm exercising incredibly frequently; obsessively so. It really doesn't change much in my anxiety. I walk for like 3 hours a day.#My friend group is... difficult. One of us had a falling out with another and the dynamic is just so awkward for me now.#it just seems like everyone else has moved past it though but I still miss him. I don't think this can be reversed#we used to talk on my stream and play digimon cards n jackbox and d&d... But now they're only interested in d&d which I don't love#For god's sake I've published a game and moved to a nice new place. why aren't I happy hahahaha#work is no longer enjoyable since BoG was publised. our new project is in an iffy category but it's not my place to argue#I want to write music and animate but I have to do my hours for this new project before I can do anything like that...#I ended up siding with my current boss in that ethical dilemma I posted about and rn idk if that was the right decision.#Okay what can i talk about that's good? We moved to a nice place. I'm celebrating BoG's release with family tomorrow.#Graeme's playing Iconoclasts- one of my favourite games! He's also returning to work soon so it'll be less awkward to have a lady over#Thinking about good stuff going on just draws the mind to holidays I've had before. I treasure my memories!#Okay so I've complained for a long long time bc life doesn't feel great rn. But rest assured I already know this is 90% my fault hahaha#Oh another good thing that happened!!! My elestrals card was printed and ppl are really happy with it. I have a card in a real card game!!!#don't tell anyone but there's another one on the way. Anyway that will do for now. I'm sorry about my... self.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
i dunno if this is like weird advice to give, but for anyone who is or has a partner/friend/etc. who's interested in a threesome (or more), you gotta make sure that everyone involved is emotionally ready for that. if you or someone else might get jealous, then just don't do it. don't lie and say you're ready just because you wanna make your partner happy, or because of peer pressure, or even just because you're attracted to someone involved, etc., if you're having any doubts at all then just say so. this is something you need to discuss thoroughly beforehand. jealousy or any other sort of emotional discomfort during group sex WILL negatively affect your relationship(s) with whoever's involved. if sex is an experience that's very important and personal to you and you're not ready to share that with someone other than your partner(s) then there's no shame in turning it down. a good partner wouldn't be upset by you setting boundaries. your comfort is more important than the opportunity to have a threesome
#sorry if this is too personal/tmi or whatever but i was just thinking about one of my exes and like#i asked her many times beforehand if she was okay with it. i really really wanted to make sure she was comfortable. she told me she was#but it still made her jealous and that did irreparable damage to our relationship. i could tell pretty quickly that it was a mistake#and yeah we don't talk anymore for mostly unrelated reasons (i unfortunately learned she wasn't a great person) but i still regret that#i could see after we broke up (which was mutual because we were....not as compatible as we thought. as mentioned above)#that she was always going out of her comfort zone to try to make me happy. and i genuinely feel bad about that. i would never ask for that#i wouldn't have been upset if she told me she wasn't sure about it because i don't wanna put anyone in an uncomfortable situation like that#anyway this was like. 9 or so years ago at this point. i still wanna apologize to her but i feel like it'd be weird to bring up y'know#but yeah i just want ppl to know this kinda stuff is avoidable if you have a truly honest discussion beforehand#and if there's any doubt at all then it's best to just not go through with it because your feelings could change at any moment tbh#but if you're all emotionally prepared then threesomes can be great ! exhausting but that's a given lmao
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
i know that bc i'm tired and hurting, what i'm feeling is amplified, but i just want y'all to know that i'm not trying to avoid talking to anyone ooc. i really wanted today to focus on messages and plots, if i'm honest! but there's certain things going on right now that are kinda taking everything out of me, and it's just so much easier to make a post and maybe reply to a comment -- even those i haven't been great about. but i promise it's not intentional, and more than likely, i'm excited to talk!! i also just feel very exhausted and funky mentally atm. reaching out or replying to messages seems so daunting when i feel like this.
if you're currently waiting on me, thank you for being patient with me, and i'm sorry to make you wait. these moments always pass, so this one will, too! but i'm sorry if it at all feels like i'm ignoring you in the meantime or like i'm hard to connect with.
#i'm already not great with messages but i feel extra horrible with them lately and it really is just a matter of feeling so off and drained#and guilty tbh#i feel like i'm slacking so much as a writing partner and it feels really hard trying to get back to where i used to be#and i'm sure i'm being critical of myself but i don't want anyone to think they're doing something wrong or that i dislike them#especially bc some of y'all have been so kind and sweet to me while i've been going through things#it's literally all on me and not y'all#now that that's off my chest (and sorry if i'm being a bit of a debbie downer) i am!! gonna try and work on some plot asks!!#i'll be slow about it most likely but i want to at least brainstorm some ideas for you guys#get ready to ramble | ooc
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Nothing is gonna top Plutomon as a fucked up maternal figure for me, I'm afraid lol
#I KNOW I'VE SPUN MY WHEELS A LOT ABOUT THIS BUT AH#I don't think I'll be able to like any other iteration of Plutomon lol (preemptively hating the next Story game? Maybe)#Anyway#Plutomon is like a load bearing wall in my love for Survive tbh lol#BUT IT'S SUCH A FUN TAKE BOTH FOR PLUTOMON AND AOI#Like it's not just that she wanted to be more confident and be respected and have authority is that she was already in positions that#Should've enabled her to exert such assertiveness but her self-consciousness dutifulness and self spokeness (THE FORMER WHICH IS DEEPLY#INTERTWINED TO HOW SHE CURATES HER OUTER PERSONA TO BE ABLE TO FIT IN/FULFILL THE EXPECTATIONS ON HER BUT ALSO LIKE. HER IDEA OF MANTANING#HARMONY BTW)#Anyway all of those hamper her and end up with her being taken advantage of and such bubbling anger and resentment it's just fucking great#That in the end she ends up embracing a role that has power/authority by design#And won't hesitate to flaunt it and how it compounds with her rigid thinking ofc she always knows best and she can't afford anyone the#Freedom to make mistakes or act selfishly (and you know that last part is super loaded she really grew to Hate your guts!!!)#Ah I love her character it's got pretty interesting nuances and fine points lol#And it always feels great to spin my wheels about this
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Christmas is such a family holiday
It makes sense why it's like that, but as someone living on their own, it's incredibly lonely
#idk#i guess I've just been thinkin about it a lot lately and it makes me feel not good#but tbh. I don't think i want to spend the holidays with the family I have out here#yeah that doesn't sound great#but . we don't get along. and we never talk#its gonna be awkward and weird and I can already see myself getting yelled at for not talking to anyone despite them not reaching out either#vent#it just doesn't feel like a good way to spend the holidays.#I'm out on my own now#i don't need to put myself in stressful family situations that'll most likely only do more harm than good#I'm my own person#i also just. don't want to be alone#eyuck. doublr edged sword or some shit#what can ya do#*shrug*
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm starting to have a feeling that my classmates see me as a child,
Not like a child as in "Dumb kid / Crybaby"
But it's more like "this person is a little more immature/childish than us, so we have all collectively decided to nurture them and protect them." kind of thing
Which is honestly really nice since at home I'm usually the one who is responsible for all my younger siblings and it feels fun being the younger sibling for once.
#I'm slowly starting to see my classmates as older siblings#I think it started on the day I rambled to them about LEGO Monkie Kid#and incase if you don't know#my class is basically like the top class meaning most people in it we're like hella smart and mature#it took me a long time to get comfortable in it since i felt like I didn't belong there#but then I started to get along with like the whole class in three weeks 😅#I feel like they would be great caregivers tbh#they also get REALLY defensive when anyone says anything bad about age-regression#and i just love them for it (platonic)#did i just freaking rambled in the tags again??#lego monkie kid#lmk
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
fuck it im watching the (other) mermaid magical girl show
<- obsessed with magical boys and girls and merpeople
#no the OTHER other mermaid magical girl show#wait ok i just looked it up on crunchyroll holy shit there's SO MANY i didn't realize this was like fi/nal fan/tasy there's so many...#not all of them have mermaids tho. wadda hell#cruddy rambles#i know this is because as a trans dude i intentionally removed myself from feminine stuff out of fear of being perceived as a girl as a kid#you know ye olde 'i HATE pink stop FORCING pink on me' -> 'actually pink is such a nice color now that im not being forced into it'#so now that i know myself im exploring it like ''hey this stuff actually slaps AND i get to be a dude 'despite' liking it''#i can have my cake and eat it too and if you're mad about it then die mad about it bc im not changing for anyone anymore#rahhhhh rahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#and im gonna watch it while beating the fuck outta people in skyrim. very much looking forward to it actually.#update:#so i didn't realize this entire show is gonna be about putting on make-up ;-;#episode 1 was uhhhhhhhh. well... they REALLY like lipstick. im happy for them don't get me wrong but this is not for me LOL#makeup gave me serious self image issues sooo i do not feel good watching this even if the message is just 'wear it and be confident'#which like. i probably could've guessed from the name? but tbh i thought it was like... magical girl 'make-up' not LITERAL makeup#happy for everyone who likes it tho! mermaids are awesome and the characters seem great i am just getting ick-ed by the focus makeup has
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#Tbh i'm not feeling great today#And the drama just Made me sick on My stomach out of stress#i do believe Tommy that dream was inmature in their fights and i feel sorry for him#But Phil and Jack and him going “we always knew he was a shit and all the adult thought he was a red flag” it's just a bit shitty#First if all the adults thought that then why tommy's mom and+#+ Jack and Phil were so positive on public about dream before middle 2023??#And why Phil as the grown adult he is didn't try to talk to dream directly about his behaviour???#Just going to dream's dms and be “ey dream what did You meant on this tweet?” “I don't think the way You treated this situation was right f#The “we always hated him and knew he was wrong” would meant the adults hanged out and made content with someone they thought was a Bad pers#Knowingly so and that makes them shitty people#I also don't like they're just bringing this up when it's not something we should know?#There wasn't a crime being comminted it was just a stupid inmature young adult#It's been years why being it up now? I hate when Dream did this too bc why?#I respect tubbo and ranboo and Q for keeping why they stopped talking to dream on private#Bc unless there's a crime comited we shouldn't have to know bc being a bitch it's not a crime#I feel bad for Tommy for being in that situation and not having someone mature to guide him throught it and feeling hurt#And i do feel Bad for dream bc none of the adults talked to him about it#That's also a being a shitty friend from the adults part bc a friend should call You out when You fuck up#Not shut up about it for years and just call it out after so long (about Jack and Phil)#It seems both Tommy and Dream ended their friendship for the Best for both which it's good and valid#I wish them happiness#Phil mostly can fuck off for not doing anything to actually help anyone and act like a moral knight#And i'm just gonna leave for today#negativity#Sorry but like why we treat dream whose worse crime is being an annoying inmature bitch sometimes as the evil itself#And not the real abusers and criminals on the community?#I'm just tired
0 notes
Text
trying to explain my parents' (mess of a) relationship would be really hard but anyway it's starting to be even more dysfunctional than usual and it's affecting ME (and my sister)
#corin's lore#I mean. I feel bad for my mom but she's sorta taking it out on us at times#So like. Not great. Especially bcs apparently she believes I act and look a lot like my dad (which isnt good and tbh idk if she's right)#Actually I both hate and love mom but like she needs me (even if she probably wouldnt be happy if she knew I was queer#and has like hurt me & my sis a lot)#Idk man.#Not to get personal but I don't really have anyone to talk to about this yknow
0 notes