#i don't even have a fucking record player yet lmao

[theirloveisgross]

.

[plusvanity]

Any thoughts on Abbath? I LOVE the way you draw him!! 💕

Ah, my second favourite narcissist. No, wait, that's Maynard, third then.

I love Abbath's image and approach on the Black Metal scene. The guy never took himself too seriously, and this is a quality that I admire in people. He is a joker and such a great entertainer. It's pretty obvious that he wanted to live the life of Lemmy Kilmister (partying hard and drinking until he breaks his liver) instead of subscribing to the boring and soulless 'hail Satan' trend. Some might argue that he kind of helped in making Black Metal mainstream (and this is true), but it was expected to happen anyway. Yet, he doesn't even come close to how Dimmu Borgir 'stained' the scene.

He seems like he always had great humor. He has a very theatrical and strong personality that's appealing and it helps him remain relevant in the scene. It's quite obvious that he likes his own image a lot and he markets it for more money and fame, especially now more than ever with his new band/project 'Abbath', but that's nothing new, and he's not the only one who does it. (You've got Ihsahn and many more)

Immortal never wanted to be associated with church-burnings and satanism, as he stated in interviews because he 'didn't want to end up in prison'. This is my favourite quote from Abbath. He was laughing at the camera, making a painfully obvious reference to Vikernes and failed shenanigans.

His drinking problem is undeniable, and so it is the fact that he needed urgent professional help for a while. I know he went to rehab in recent years after fucking up concerts and cancelling tours. I remember that Demonaz also talked about this as one of the main reasons why Immortal broke up, which is kind of evident anyway, but it's nice to have the speculation confirmed. What is funny is that they used to be very good friends and classically ended up fighting in court for copy rights in Immortal and stuff like that. Whenever money is involved, you get to see a more realistic side of your best friends.

I appreciate his upgrade from playing bass to playing guitar, it's something that you rarely see in bass players. (I'm just being mean here) It's kind of unfortunate that you don't hear any bass in the early Immortal releases, but basslines were basically nonexistent in the early Black Metal scene anyway. Everything except for the guitar and drums is forever lost in the background noise and in the low quality of the recordings. It's obvious that he invested much more in spikes and bullet belts instead of his own equipment, but this is part of Abbath's charm.

I love watching his interviews and guessing what type of liquor is in his glass lmao, he likes beer for most of the time. One thing needs to be appreciated, and this is his strong will to be an addict in the Scandinavian society that frowns so much upon alcohol consumption. Their excise taxes are insane an it's not easy to get your hands on hard liquor as it is in the rest of Europe, but he successfully maintained his habit since the early 90s. So, kudos to Abbath 🙌

What is interesting though is that substance abuse is used as a way of numbing feelings and basically keeping you away from how you feel inside. This is my first thought when it comes to musicians who are known to be using. I do believe that Abbath has strong NPD traits considering his inflated sense of self, personality cult, messy private life (divorced from Demonaz's sister with a child if I remember correctly), and excessive drinking. This is just my speculation (and a bit of personal experience), but drinking excessively when it comes to NPD, it's usually how you avoid the emptiness inside (we all know how narcissists have no sense of self and it would make sense for him to run away from his problems and enjoy the fame). Of course, I don't know why the guy drinks, but it's quite obvious that it ruined a bit of his career and most probably his life too.

I don't know how he's doing now. I would probably have a lot more to say, but I don't remember at this moment.

I love his vocals, very unique, very raw and haunting. He really went in a different and quite original direction.

[h0n3yk1tt3n]

🐝 spare me a dance(in this never ending misery)

Ok before I get into the fic idea I want to highlight a fic my friend did for L2C way back in 2021 bc this title reminded me of it. It was so funny to see my insta followers run around screaming bc I refused to confirm if it was canon or not lmao, but now that the fic is out I can confirm that it's a what-if scenario

NOW FOR MY IDEA(s) FOR THE TITLE

The first one is also L2C related, and could probably be a chapter in Tales From The Lagniappe wherein everyone is on the boat and trying to find ways to keep themselves sane, considering they've been on the water for a few days and they can only play so much Uno before they have to do set the game down.

They can't exactly pull up spotify seeing as they have no service, but there is a record player with a couple of vinyls. They use it pretty sparingly to avoid getting sick of the same twenty-something songs too quickly, but they have a fun time dragging each other around the room to Sinatra in a pitiful display of "dancing." It doesn't change how horribly things have gone throughout the Green Flu, but it does bring some reprieve and comfort that they couldn't get nearly as much of when they were jumping from safe room to safe room.

My other idea... got really long lol

In this one Michael and Jeremy don't reconnect right away and it's full of all this "I wanna see him but idk if he wants to see me, idk if I'm ready to talk abt everything, blah blah blah" all that fun stuff.

Eventually we get to the sweethearts dance (valentines themed), so it's not a Huge Deal like prom but hey it's still a school dance. It's girls choice (classic high school heteronormativity) so Jeremy basically shunts away any idea that Michael will be there. He debates on even going at all but Christine frames it as an excuse to hang out with everyone, and if he hates it they can all just bail and do something else.

Everyone's "dates" are exactly who you'd expect them to be: Chloe took Jake, Brooke took Rich, Chrissy took Jeremy. So they're at the dance. There's music. There's friends. It's a pretty ok time. But this is technically a couples dance and Jenna hasn't shown up yet. How is she getting in? She texted saying she's on her way so she must've gotten someone to come with her. But who did she get on such short notice?

Jeremy gets his answer when he sees her come in with Michael.

Oh shit.

Did everyone else know this was her plan?? Was it part of the plan the entire time??? He's so unprepared oh my god she's bringing him over Michael can also tell whats going on theres no hiding from this fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck the music is so loud the gym is so crowded Michael's right here in front of him and all his friends are retreating and its-

Michael follows him pretty quickly after. They get to talking on opposite sides of the bathroom stall. They never meant to avoid the other for so long, they were just scared, they want to see each other again.

It's a slow song. A slow dance. People are pairing up. It's just the two of them in front of each other. Michael is actually dressed up in front of him in a pink-lit gym with a slow song playing and Jeremy can't tell if the pounding in his chest is anxiety or something else.

But Michael reaches a hand out to him and he can't find it in himself to stop him from swaying him around the room. Jeremy's head is screaming at him to say or do something but nothing comes of it every time he tries. Michael's mouth keeps opening and closing but he's not saying anything either until he finally just whispers "I've missed you."

And Jeremy runs out of the gym into the bathroom. It's too much to see Michael look at him with such a heartbroken expression. Jeremy did that. He caused it. How could he. What kind of a friend was he that he would leave Michael alone to wallow in misery for so many months.

The two of them bail. Jeremy texts Christine to let her know and naturally she's understanding. They continue to talk as they walk back to Michael's place ("Jenna was my ride." "We carpooled."), mostly about how neither of them were too keen on going to the dance but were talked into it. Jenna had openly framed it as a way for the two to reconcile while Jeremy had been left in the dark.

They talk more when they get into the basement. They go more in depth on all the squip stuff and it's the catharsis they need to hug and cry it out. It's at this point that they realize they've yet to change out of their dressy clothes and put on a record to have their own dance. Michael offers Jeremy a hand and, despite the lack of floorspace, share a slow dance that they can actually enjoy.

[dogwittaablog]

I was never a nolpat fan (didn't hate him, he just wasn't one of the guys I was fannish about), and even I was... not devastated, but still felt something of a gut-punch when I read about what he said in these accounts. And it's not because I have some rosy view of hockey - I grew up around it, unfortunately I know all too well how toxic it can be. I try to go into fandom with the expectation that any player (including/especially the ones I admire) can do any of the myriad terrible things that are so common in this sport's culture, fall in step with the also terrible political views of the majority, would generally be a person I would not want to talk to irl. The gut-punch part for me I think comes from 1) plain old sadness/disappointment/horror at the reminder of how awful human beings can be, just, in general, because yes of course I know these people exist and see evidence of it all too often, and even if this was some rando on the internet those comments would be upsetting; and 2) that these comments hit me right in my sense of unfairness, that so much opportunity and privilege was given to someone so terrible. (Of course privilege isn't distributed based on goodness, but it's always infuriating to see shitty people get good things/no comeuppance for being shitty; sure, cosmic justice isn't a thing, but we sure wish it were.)

As many others have said, I do think it's important to understand the reality of this sport's culture and its myriad issues, and take steps back to make sure you're keeping that fiction/reality divide clear in your head, but as you pointed out, some people are new or have less experience with the realities of hockey for whatever reason, and even if they are, people will be upset by news of someone being a piece of shit because someone being a piece of shit is generally upsetting. I don't think it's productive to tear people down for simply not knowing how bad it was. Dismay and the misguided belief that someone being good-looking and talented and quiet correlates to their quality as a person aside, I have yet to see anybody digging in their heels and bending over backwards to defend him (like other anon(s) pointed out, the Kane fandom meltdown was... scarring, to say the least, and I have absolutely no patience for that, that is block on sight for me.) We're all in this fandom community together, do try to give people some grace to be upset, and maybe don't call them deranged or in need of professional help so readily.

(Which is to say, I agree with your stance!)

A little bit of a long read for some, but you broke down even more points and articulated parts I wish I could've come up with in some of my other anon responses.

I'm sure you're specifically talking about P.Kane (There is so many genuine problematic fucks in the league with the last name Kane, ironically). Though don't even get me started on that because I remember hearing stories about P.Kane through my brother even when I was 12 and seeing media gradually expose his problematic behaviours as well over time too. I am truly convinced anyone who's a fan of his new or old, just obsess over how hot he was in his early 20's and that's all they see when they think or hear of him, cause bro my man went downhill after a point, so it's like what are you even liking about this dude, cause I know it's not even about how he plays hockey LMAO... He literally has an open track record that with a 10 second search you can find everything problematic he's done the past decade, heck you even got grown men even saying fuck that dude too. His fangirls are definitely what I'd consider concerning.

[lemonhemlock]

this is not a game of thrones related ask, but i wanted to know your opinion on the barcelona situation 😉

greetings, queen! 💜 well, it's not looking too cool for them, is it? i'd say it's very difficult to conclusively prove (by legal standards, not the court of public opinion or vibes lol) just by looking at match footage whether the referee is intentionally biased against one team and favouring the other. bc mistakes or just plain incompetence exist. especially in the pre-VAR era. so, really, uncovering a financial paper trail that can link barca accounts to referee pockets is the way to go and kind of ... irrefutable. looks like the news of today re: negreira's 7 million confirms that.

sure, negreira was the only the vice president of the referees committee, so, from what i understand, they have yet to prove how that money got from negreira to actual referees on the pitch or how negreira might have influenced/coerced them into favouring barca AND if these alleged favourable decisions would have been enough to ensure barca's titles during those years. but why else would they have paid him for? their explanations of him fulfilling an advisory role or just paying to avoid bias are ridiculous and even the referee body came out to say it breaks their code of conduct, which, d'oh.

so basically it comes down to uncovering what kind of services they were paying for and what barca thought they were buying. how convenient that everything happened "orally" lol

analyzing the entire interval of 2001-2018 sounds like a mammoth amount of work, but the prosecutor's office is on this, and even though tebas denied the possibility of sanctions bc the statute of limitations has passed (lmao, really?), i do wonder whether la liga officials would change their mind if barca were found guilty. i mean, it's insane to think about barca being stripped of titles and honestly i'd be very shocked if they did that, for obvious reasons.

the elephant in the room here is clearly messi, as no one wants to see the greatest player ever™ stripped of his record titles. this goes beyond spain, it has international-implications.gif. so ironically messi might be the one thing to save barca's backside, even post-departure

what's also interesting is madrid implying they'll join the legal proceedings when possible, whatever the fuck that means. like RMA representatives would give testimony in court if called? that's kind of crazy as well since, for all their rivalry, real madrid need barcelona to maintain commercial appeal for the audiences and fans. i don't really know if they're volunteering their testimony here or if they're legally obliged to show up if summoned

i'm really hoping this means they've fallen out and it's the end of the superleague zombie project, if nothing else comes from this

[minilpark]

good game

pairing: hangman x reader

warnings: mean words exchanged, sexual tension, one swear word

genre: uhh enemies/rivals to lovers (in the literal sense), implied smut at the end

a/n: this was originally supposed to be a small fic idea like my other hangman one, but i got carried away and so now it's a blurb lmao- also this isn't edited so forgive me if there are grammar or spelling issues

y/c/s - your callsign

while lining your cue up, you half-jokingly state, "you know, maybe if you had been a team player for once, you wouldn't have had to do as many push-ups as you did today."

once the words fell off your tongue, could feel jake burning a hole into the back of your head as you sank the last solids into the pockets.

the two of you have been acquainted with each other since flight school. to say you didn't like him was a bit of an understatement. yet, these last few weeks being recalled back to top gun, you could feel a shift in the air between you two. some would say you're losing that spark of dislike if that was even a thing, whereas phoenix would say there was definitely some tension, but more so sexual now- course, you didn't believe her, but looking up at him after you sunk the 8-ball said otherwise.

"...aaand that's game once again, seresin. how many times have you lost against me now? at this point, i don't think it's possible for you to win, unless...you're playing with rooster of course." you smirked while poor bradley held his hands up in offense.

jake scoffed, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek while he adjusted the way his signature toothpick sat in his mouth.

"yeah whatever, y/c/s. and for the record, i almost had maverick today. pops was just playing dirty-"

you shake your head while handing the cue off to bob before making your way closer to jake, "almost isn't good enough seresin, and you know-" you poke his chest while looking him in the eye, "better than anyone, that when you're in the air, the enemy doesn't care about fairness. you either be a team player, or you sit on the sidelines."

at this point, jake was internally fuming while looking at you, sure you may have had a valid point, but it didn't make him any less annoyed; yet, he still found a stir of butterflies in his stomach when you touched him and the proximity between you two.

he clenched his jaw before staring you down, "you know, you act like such a know-it-all, y/c/s, but lets be honest with each other, you're still not the best pilot in this group. you have potential, sure, but when it really comes down to it, you can't make the hard decisions or quick calls. you don't have the technical skill you think you do either."

did jake really mean what he said to you, a little bit yes, but not in the harsh way it was delivered. you didn't let it affect you though, you two always said things to get a rise out of each other after all, but this was definitely the kicker.

rolling your eyes, you tilt your head making eye contact with him once again and chuckle, "god, you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid." which earned you a choking sound from coyote and fanboy in the corner with payback patting his back, phoenix smirking, while rooster and bob held in a laugh while continuing their game.

as for jake, you could see the blush creep up on his face and while his ears tinged with red. for once, you found him speechless and yet it said everything you needed to hear.

needless to say, everyone knew where the two of you went after the bar closed.

[recorder-of-madness]

A Love made of Delirium - Chapter One

Word Count - 2,703

TRIGGER WARNING - Physical Violence, Gun Violence, Bullet wound, Themes of self isolation'

Note - This is gonna be a self indulgent fanfic with my madness combat employer persona lmao, Kinda making it as a present for myself. I've been doing really well at work lately ( it's been pretty stressful so. ) and thought I deserved a treat. So fuck you, here is my ' i get to be cringe ' pass for the week. Also relationship wise for the fic I don't know yet so uhhhhhhh surprise you later I guess. I just like them all and can't decide +( This is also gonna be a yandere / have yandere elements because fuck you. I'm coping <3

They lingered at their computer, Staring at the latest work as they stretched. A full report on what they had observed from one of the many monitors of the machine. papers littered the floor while large drawers, filled with folders going back a couple years were all over the room. Photos and tapes were in their own respective piles, some were polaroid while others were shitty print outs. Some tapes were kept on vhs while others were on CDs. Each of the screens currently surrounding them either had their own DVD or vhs player. The room was only illuminated by the screens and the glowing eyes of the employer who sat in the middle of everything.

Most had not heard of the Recorder. Why? Well the name was evidence enough. A recorder simply observes and does not fool around in the endeavours they watch - only to examine and record that of what happened, a witness. Many things around Nevada did happen and sometimes they would feel bad, a sense of empathy that most, if not all, lacked. No matter how many times they perceived death: The guilt would linger. If they had been there, Would they be able to stop something from happening? They shook their head, trying to push away the moral dilemma that perplexed them day in and day out. ' That is not your job ' their thoughts replied, which they would nod in agreement with.

They pinched their nose bridge, Shivers running down their spine as they glanced away from the screen for a moment. When was the last time they had left their room? Well, They did not have reason to for so long and no one really knew their location outside of fellow employers but again. They had no idea of the others location either.

For a moment, For the first time in a while, The Recorder took a moment to consider a break. A lot could happen in a moment; Much less in a half an hour break. Then they would have to catch up and possibly miss something important. Like with the ongoing story of Hank J. Wimbledon vs the A.A.H.W. The fights that would take place were a amazement to behold. They were always so awestruck with how one man could take down a literal army. Then his co-workers, They would refer to them as friends but... from the body language they observed: he seemed to mostly stick to himself. An enigma among many Nevadans.

Sanford, Deimos: A duo of total destruction. They remembered watching the two first meet on one of their many screens and since then: They had observed just how close people can become. It was adorable to watch and a nice break from the usual cutting and tearing which was always put up onto at least one of the screens. Then there was the infamous 2BDamned, From what they recall, He wasn't even a real doctor yet the title of " Doc " was bestowed due to his vast but limited medical knowledge. He could heal someone up very well and was also a bit on the tech side of things. Very calculated in everything he did, It was always exciting to see exactly what plans he'd come up with.

The Recorder promptly had a file on each, but not just them. Almost everyone in Nevada, who'd come and gone, were stored in neat little folders accompanied by tapes and photos of the respected individuals. They hoped that if they knew, That the grunts that had died for nothing would find solace that someone would remember them: in a way there memory would be alive every time they read back through the folder, replayed a tape or simply gazed as the small photo attached to the front. They'd briefly thought about death, How perhaps the deliberator would free them from their mortal body and then stygian would escort them to the other place. Just another face in the endless piles they had recorded.

They had wandered over to the ladder, leading out the bunker. It was in the middle of nowhere and in all their years of being down here, No one but themselves entered or ever found it. Not that they minded, having no one around. It made it easier to focus on recording all the little details. Sometimes, they feared that maybe they had developed Para social relationships with some after being down here, watching so many grunts day in day out. It wouldn't be surprising but the thought was scary in itself.

' Maybe just a moment outside wouldn't hurt. ' they told themself, beginning to climb up the ladder. Each bar squeaked as new weight was put on it, Causing some discomfort. They mumbled something about having to get some oil. they continued, trying to block out the reoccurring screeches the ladder let out as they made their way up. Once they had reached the top, all that stood in the way was the turning wheel. Covered in cobwebs which made them shiver lightly

After a brief inspection to make sure there were no insect's hiding around, they turned the latch. It creaked loudly, not helping that they were next to it. Physically recoiling at the noise as they continued to turn it. it opened with a pop and for the first time in a long time, fresh air swooped into the bunker and into the recorder's lungs. Only to squeal as they realized the sun was pelting down on them. They shut their eyes tight, not used to the natural light. Whining to themself, feeling around as they attempted to climb out the rest of the way. Eventually they rolled onto their side: eyes fluttering open and shut as they attempted to become accustomed to the bright red Nevadan sun, unsure if they had missed it.

It took them a good 5 minutes to get used to it, redoing the eyes shutting and opening until they could stand the light once more. They took in their surroundings, glancing back at the once shut hatch. it was usually covered in sand, buried in the Nevadan desert. A light breeze blew past as they sat in the sand around them, grainy and slightly uncomfortable but a good change from the cold concrete floor. They dug their hands into the ground, rediscovering the way it fell through their fingers, eyes almost lighting up. How they had forgotten the beauty of the outside. Only being able to enjoy so through a screen. They tossed the sand up into the air before it fell, snickering lightly in amusement.

They dig their hands back in, leaning back to sit as they looked around. Nothing but desert really. The nearest thing was the old road nearby. It was a while away but visible from this distance. However, they squinted their eyes when they caught an interesting view. A vehicle was driving down the road. huh. Out of curiosity, they stood up to try and get a better view. It looked to be just that. A simple truck - most likely carrying supplies to whatever group owned it. Although it did seem odd when it stopped in the middle of the road, right in front of where they were standing vertical of it. Sure, they must have saw them from a distance but why stop.

The Nevadan desert stood still for a moment. Just a moment as they leaned closer, only to be shot back with a force. Their ears rung as they seemed to focus on the large bang so far away. A pain in their shoulder spread through their body. Neon green fluids began to bleed out of their wound, momentarily reaching out to touch it. They prodded it for a moment before whining and quickly retracting their hand from the wound. ' Fuck ' was all their mind could think, over and over the word repeated as they gazed back to the truck.

Red goggles stood out on the grey horizon. The dark figure slowly, but surely, making their way over. Their blood ran cold, Of-fucking-course. The ONE time they took a break. They fumbled back, Quickly getting onto their feet and scrambling back down the ladder. Not daring to look back at the large male on his way. The pain in their shoulder was quickly taken over by adrenaline, Climbing down the ladder. The squeaks of each only made their panic worse as they tried to close the hatch. Digging their claws in as they fumbled with each turn. It was hard thanks to the damaged shoulder but they hoped it would be strong enough to deter him from following them.

They climbed down the ladder, Stumbling as they reached the floor. Then everything went quiet, Everything apart from the screens their job was too observe. Taking a step back from the whole, shaking violently. Although, familiar voices quickly picked up from made then stop in their tracks.

" Hank. Hold on, what the fuck did you shoot " A voice called above the other screens, that being Deimos. A voice they'd grown to recognise from their years of watching.

" Shit. what is this? " The voice of his partner, Sanford then came from it too, prompting The Recorder to gently side step into view of the screen. Their the three were, outside the hatch and staring at it. Sanford was hunched over, but clearly motioning to some of their own splattered blood.

" Looks like someone burst open a glowstick " Deimos snickered reaching down and touching the liquid, Bringing it up to his face for a sniff. Sanford's features distorted with disgust as he smacked the back of the other's head.

" Don't fucking do that, bozo. For all we know it's poisonous " He responded only for Deimos to shrug in response. Seemingly taken aback by the familiar smell but different colour.

" Smells... like blood to me " He hummed, staring with integument more as he turned to the large male. Hank was looming over the entrance, unmoving and it only made the Recorder more anxious: feeling their heart beating out their chest: it rang in their ears. For a moment they feared Hank could hear it, echoing down here. He was a man on a mission, beginning to attempt to pry the hatch open. Thankfully, A younger Recorder was as paranoid as they were distrustful: So having an opening on the top was a big no no. At least not a visible one: there was the option for a code but they had never told anyone it outside their fellow employers. His attempts echoed down into the room, causing the Recorder to jolt: looking around for a weapon as they listened to the voices.

" Hank. I don't think that's gonna work. " Sanford responded to the others' actions, An audible huff of annoyance released from the other. That didn't stop them from their scrambling though. Fishing through everything Checking the drawers lining the wall. All came up with nothing. ' Am I really this defenceless? ' they thought as they recalled the tapes where each three had went around killing others. the way they done so without mercy. Will their head be squashed, stabbed? Perhaps their very flesh would be ripped from it's rightful place on their skin: Scratched and left to bleed out. Or perhaps everything they had work to record would be burned. No one would even know.

" Hey, Hey, Hey~, there's a code back here. I'll have it open in a jiff. Just let me.... " Deimos' voice trailed off, only heightening the anxiety they felt. Their form became goopier as tears began to gush from their eyes. They didn't want to die, Why did they have to go outside? Sobs of terror left their mouth as they collapsed to the floor. Gripping at their clothing and staring at the ladder. No... Please don't.

" Bingo! " And it was all over. They heard Deimos' voice as the screen turned to static: Indicating he was close enough to be observed from a first person stand point with them. The Recorder scrambled back under their desk, wrapping their arms around their legs. Mumbling for help, for someone to save them from their fate. They coudl hear the ladder creaking, even more dreadful than before knowing exactly who was making those sounds.

It didn't take them long for the group to find them, easily following the sound of crying and bright blood. Hank was already reaching a hand under the desk and snatching them up by the ankle before they could scream. Desperately grabbing onto anything that would stop him. Digging their claws into the table in some sort of desperate way to save themselves. At least not wanting to die in the same room they had been locked up for years. The Recorder continuing to get goopier, small black splotches falling onto the ground as they were held upside down by the ankle. As if some sort of prize Hank had hunted down for sport. He was much more intimidating and larger than they could ever imagine. After watching him for so long on that screen.

Sanford and Deimos watched with light amusement. Possibly because everyone could easily tell that from the appearance: The thing they had found was an employer. Down to the black skin and bright lime green eyes, glowing with fear. They definitely had to be one. Deimos grinned widely as he made his way over, Crouching down to their eye level as the recorder blubbered their speech, Their words not coherently stringing together.

" You're awfully small for an employer, aren't ya? " He tilted his head to mock them, finding great pleasure in their sobbing. He wasn't wrong. The recorder was absurdly short compared to most things in Nevada and the employers were no expectation. All of them stood well over 6 ft while the recorder was only at a simple 5'5. He poked their cheek only to flinch back, black goo decorating his finger tip. He rubbed it in-between his thumb and index finger: squinting to get a better look before wiping it onto his clothes.

" Fucking nasty. " Deimos murmured, glaring daggers at the Recorder who only shrunk under his gaze as they whimpered out an apology.

" I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't kill me " they hiccupped, still squirming lightly in Hank's grip which only caused his grip to tighten. The blood rush to their head was starting to kick in, making it both easier to think but their thoughts equally blurry. The bullet wound was bleeding slightly more than before from the sudden rush of inundation build up around it hurt more.

" I'll do whatever you want! " they added on which seemed to catch the attention of all three.

" Anything? " Sanford repeated as his head tilted in their direction: He had been taking a moment to look through the drawers of folders in the back before the words caught his ears. The phrase was familiar... but a begging employer was such a rare sight. It was definitely welcomed though.

The Recorder nodded profusely, not bothering to think of reproductions. They just wanted to live. They needed to live was all their head screamed at them. No matter the cost: that's what they told themself as they heaved through tears.

" Well. For now... Why don't you take a nap? " Deimos responded. With that, Hank seemed to shift their weight, moving to hold them up by the collar and directly in his face. The Recorder's eyes went wide, Squirming more out of terror as for the first time: They were facing Hank J. Wimbleton face to face. They only melted more, Similar to that of an ice-cream you might have left in the sun: Starting to have more little black drops melt of them and onto the paper covered floor: ruining their progress. under his gaze. They couldn't see his eyes but they cold feel those cold, crazed eyes never leaving their face. He reeled his head back carefully and for a moment: The Recorder felt a wave of calm wash over them. Was he going to just... let them go? the thought was interrupted by Hank as he moved his head back with immense force, slamming it down into their forehead as all went black.

[juhaku-inspired]

is it awful that I want the fall out boy fidget spinner bluetooth speaker they’re...actually releasing...tomorrow?

[ermuellert]

what are your honest opinions on julian draxler's career?

personally i thought he was genuinely going to be a big star because he was this young wonderkid at schalke who won the world cup as a 20 year old (he didn't do much though to be fair) but it never really turned out that way ... he's not done terribly per se, he is playing for psg, living that sweet life en france, and somehow still getting callups to the german national team but i am just kind of sad that he never reached the full potential that he had ... i thought he would be the captain of the "new" germany generation, one of the leaders, but now he barely gets to play ... i am kind of extra worked up about his case because he seems like a nice and sweet person as well ... anyways maybe i just have a bad track record of predicting career trajectories, all the youngsters i thought would succeed haven't (yet), at one point i believed that julian weigl and max meyer would also be world beaters and here we are ... i don't know what it is, probably a mix of injuries, bad luck, and maybe just not working hard enough ... long long sigh

anyways if you read all that you're an absolute superstar because i really went and wrote an essay oops ... i look forward to your live blogging tomorrow as it is always entertaining ... lots of love xxx

i hope u know that deep down.... like. Deep Down... i am always always always craving to talk about julian...... like trust me... i promise essays on monsieur draxler are always welcome here because i used to write that much about him and sometimes still think that much about him too...

objectively speaking, i think he is doing alright! pretty good by a lot of standards probably, for most of the reasons u listed. he’s getting paid obscene amounts (probably more than he deserves at this moment in time), has a seemingly great personal life, and as u said, still getting his national team callups. 

my personal thoughts, on the other hand, are... well....... not really of the same sentiment. i already know i’m gonna write up an even longer essay so let me just tuck the rest of this ramble under a cut for the sake of my followers lmao

honestly for me... thinking about julian is kind of depressing. if you feel worked up about him, just know that i relate. he seems very happy where he is in his life at the moment and so of course i’m happy for him too but compared to the potential it seemed he had... it’s just a bit sad. mostly because it isn’t as though he’s an excellent player hindered by injuries (e.g. reus) or anything really beyond his control - i think a lot of what’s so disappointing about his career trajectory is really just to do with him and him only.

yes, his failed transfer to juve back when he was at schalke wasn’t his fault but to move to wolfsburg? i know hindsight is 20/20 but i almost wish he’d just stayed at schalke. the drama he got into while he was at wolfsburg really did not do any good for his image, putting aside the fact that he was putting in average (even inconsistent) performances for the team. at schalke, maybe he could’ve had more time to develop within a team he grew up in and just use his time there to work and work hard. (there’s something i want to say about mentality here but i’ll bring that up later)

then, when his transfer to psg was announced, i felt like that was some beacon of hope although honestly, i think anything compared to wolfsburg could’ve looked that way to me at the time lmao keeping up with that club just for him (and partly andré schürrle) was fucking painful my god

at psg he was off to a decent start and things were starting to look up! wasn’t starting every single match but he was playing fairly well and made quick friends with his new teammates (u know who lol) etc. but then of course any sort of rhythm/momentum he gained was totally thrown off by mbappé’s and neymar’s arrivals which i think were both only around half a year after his transfer. 

and so basically since then, he’s been “competing” for a spot with ney, kylian, and di maría.

(ok reading that back i realize that whole recap of his career was not really necessary or at least. making it as lengthy as i did wasn’t but. i’m too lazy to go back and reword everything so bear with me lmao)

taking all that into account, i think yes, to some extent, he has some excuse for the stagnation of his career. he’s had his injuries and he’s been played out of position for large portions of time.

but i think what really frustrates me about him is that as a fan who’s loved him for years it’s really sad to see that what’s holding him back is not necessarily a lack of ability but just that he doesn’t have the sort of drive i wish he did. it’s been on display in his performances before - he can be lazy and invisible - but i think what’s worse is how that translates off the pitch. he’s just never really seemed to fight for a spot in the starting eleven. and if the rumors are true (as they do seem so) the parisian nightlife has not been doing him very good lmao

not only that though but i think he just doesn’t care as much about football as he does about ... image? money? i don’t know. i don’t know what the word i’m looking for is. i don’t think julian is a superficial sort of person and i’m not saying ambition is a bad thing at all, but when he couldn’t go from schalke to juventus (and that failed transfer was riding, presumably, a lot on his wonderboy status at schalke), he followed the money to wolfsburg. put in performances that understandably received criticism at wolfsburg, then very publicly made a whole thing out of wanting to leave and not being able to. then followed the money to psg where he just ... vibes on the bench. well, at least up until this season. but even then, if it weren’t for all the covid cases and red cards, i don’t know if he would be playing as much as he has. 

so tl;dr: i love julian a lot still and he’s still the same sweet dorky fuckboi-ish guy i’ve been a fan of since the start and i’m happy that he’s happy! the tragic irony is that what makes him happy - collecting checks while being a bench player - is also what depresses me quite a bit about him. he has his flashes of brilliance every once in a while where you can see that 17-year-old schalke wonderboy in him, so you know that hype from long ago wasn’t all a waste and that somewhere in there is a very talented, perhaps starworthy footballer. but he isn’t. not because he can’t but because he doesn’t really care to. and not in a dismissive sense i don’t think. i don’t think he thinks “ah who cares about being the best player in the world fuck that” but moreso in the sense of “ah i think i’m doing alright! that’s good enough for me.” and that sort of mentality is what places him (or at least, contributes to his position being) a tier below his peers who have proven themselves (e.g. kimmich, although that also brings up the whole “can that sort of fighter/die-on-the-pitch type mentality be taught or must it be inherent” kind of thing so let’s move on before i write an essay within this essay) at the end of the day i know not every footballer is in this sport simply for the sake of playing it, but from time to time thinking about him fills me with a lot of nostalgia and yes a tinge of disappointment because i can’t help but think of what could’ve been (i.e. what would’ve happened if he’d stayed at schalke? stayed there for good or stayed for a season or two more, developed even more hype, strengthened his abilities. had a successful transfer to a good, solid club and continued to hone his abilities, etc).

ok. now i’m done. i’m so sorry for putting u through all that and skimming this back i sound SO dramatic lmao but man i’ve been through like six-ish years of following his career so fuck it oh well

also if u wanna know how much i still care, know that after the “draxler to leeds united” rumors first dropped, i wrestled with my impulse control every single day for a week trying to stop myself from dming him on insta saying “i love you but get ur ass to leeds or i will kidnap u and get u there myself your football career is killing me but i love you and just want the best for u have a nice day xx”