#i don't care that he looks like the live action cat in the hat

[l0ganberry]

I have no idea where all of you came from but here's the colored version of my drawing of Husk.

[snippychicke]

Cats & Ships Chapter Two

Title: Cats & Ships

Overall Rating: Teen for now? May go into mature at a future date

Trigger warnings: Nothing beyond what's in the live-action series. I mean, Kuro's still manipulative and paranoid. It gets better tho? Slowly? It's a WIP, so I don't fully know yet.

Pairings: Captain Kuro (Klahadore)/Reader; hints of Kaya/Usopp

Summary: It started out as a means to get information as Khaladore. Who would be better to provide information regarding the high seas than Syrup Village’s Harbormaster? Except, for the first time in a very long time, Kuro found himself trusting, and even liking, the young woman he shared tea with every week. 

And then the Straw Hat Pirates arrived and ruined his plans. Except fate decided his story wasn’t done there. 

Nor was yours.

Masterlist here! | Read on Ao3!

Miss Kaya sat in the chair her butler once claimed, looking so much better it made you feel horrible. (Poison. He had been slowly poisoning her for years, and making a show of caring for her in her poor health. And no one thought to wonder, easily accepting that her weak nature was due to the sudden loss of her family.)

The cat-once-named-Kuro sat on the desk, carefully regarding the new visitor with mistrust. He didn’t like new visitors, no matter what. It had taken months for him to warm up to him to the point whenever the cat perked up, you knew he had entered your office. You tried not to notice how the cat would often wait now expectantly by the door when it was past the time he  would usually come around. 

“I don’t want to offend you,” Miss Kaya started, her hands wringing nervously in her lap, yet her shoulders were set straight, head held high. She was still so thin and frail, but there was a glimmer of the strong woman she was quickly becoming. (He had lamented about her health, her frailty, and it had been him all along.)  “But I’m tired of hearing rumors and not knowing the truth. I want to hear it from your lips and not others.”

You smiled tightly, and could tell it couldn’t quite reach your eyes. Not that it had in the last few months. How could you ever smile again after everything? “I appreciate that, miss Kaya. No one else has shown such bravery, or compassion.”  

There was both relief and pity in her expression, “So… what was your relationship with Klahadore? Did… did you-” 

“I knew nothing,” you interrupted, not really wanting to hear the question. “I-i was as fooled as you were. I thought we were friends, and maybe someday we-we would be more. But the only thing he confided to me were the stresses of Klahadore the butler, with nothing hinting at his true self, or true intentions.” 

You felt ill when you heard the news. Merry was dead. Kaya had nearly died, had been slowly dying for years. 

All at Klahadore’s hands. Kuro’s blades. Captain Kuro of the hundred plans, leader of the black cat pirates. 

The one pirate whose exploits you had followed closely in the news years ago, morbidly fascinated by the fact he had a plan for everything. Always outsmarting the marines and other pirates. The one you couldn’t help but find handsome on his wanted posters when you passed by the wall in the harbor, looking at the dozens of hundred of wanted posters that covered it. 

You had tea with him in weekly meetings about supplies for the manor-- or at least that was the cover. Really, it felt like two friends meeting up for a vent session… but now you saw it for what it really was. He had been after any information you could give. 

And you gave. So much. You had trusted him without second thought and spilled so many secrets, entranced by his soft dark eyes and faint smile. You told him the secret workings of the port, info the marines had confided in you as harbor master. So, so, much.

(He knew you named your cat after him. Knew of your silly little crush.) 

To say you were torn up didn’t quite do things justice. You had fallen into a pit of despair, questioning everything and every interaction you had with the man over the last three years. Every conversation. Every touch. Every gesture. Great Mother Sea, you had been hoping for a relationship with him. You had imagined a future with him-- Captain Kuro. 

How? Stoic yet sweet Klahadore, who was alway chiding you to take care of yourself. Who seemed to enjoy the company of your multitudes of cats as much as you did. You could still see him in the other chair, one hand delicately holding a teacup while the other scratched the ears of whichever cat decided to claim his lap. 

Could someone fake the emotion you had seen as he looked down at the kittens, so full of warmth, of love. (Then again, his crew was known as the black cats. Maybe he really was as fond as he looked?) 

But what about the same expression when it was aimed at you? The rare times he touched your hands, your face, so tenderly you were sure you were about to melt? Had they been real? Faked? 

Did it even matter? 

It both did and did not -- because not only were you scrutinizing every single moment, most of the populace was as well. They weren’t privy to what happened behind the walls of your office-- your home-- but they knew enough. You were the only other villager Klahadore--Captain Kuro-- had been close to other than Kaya herself. And despite being the Harbormaster for the islands the last six years, or the fact your family had served for the last several generations, the villagers found everything highly suspicious.  

But only one person was brave enough to confront you about it. 

“He fooled all of us,” Miss Kaya admitted, her posture softening some. “I thought he was my closest friend, family even. If he had just asked, I probably would have allowed him to have whatever he wanted.The family business, the manor, anything.”

Despite your own pain, your heart ached for the young woman who had lost everyone close to her. Merry, Klahadore, and even Usopp had set sail with the so-called pirates that had saved her. 

“...at least we understand each other,” you offered weakly, knowing it wasn’t much of a consolation. “To be tricked so thoroughly, how great of an actor he was…” 

It was her turn to offer a tight smile that didn’t reach eyes that were no longer sunken in. “That he was. Sham and Buchi I didn’t really care for, to be honest. I found them a bit… odd. But Klahadore… he was like a big brother. I never doubted him once.” 

Your heart was hurting too much. Because Mother Sea, that’s how he acted too. A big brother who was put-upon yet still loved his sister.   (How was all of that an act? How? How? How?!) 

"What plans do you have now?" You asked, trying to pretend like there wasn’t a huge lump in your throat. You needed a change in subject, quick, before you started to fall apart in front of the young heiress. 

“Actually, I’m going to leave Syrup village,” she answered, seemingly agreeable to the change. “For a while, at least. I’ve set up a board to manage my parent’s ship yard, but… I want to be a doctor, so I want to go to one of the cities to do my training.”  

Your smile felt just as weak as usual, despite the pride that blossomed for the young woman. To take her life in her hands and forage her own path. It was admirable, something you had wanted but never done. 

Then again, with her gone no one would be left in the village who understood what you went through. How you felt. There would still be suspicion in every glance, every deal. 

Were you a pirate? An accomplice? Could you really be trusted now?  How innocent were you, really?

“That… sounds like a really good idea, truth be told,” you admitted after a moment, an idea forming in your mind. “A fresh start away from here sounds nice.” 

After all, what did you have to lose?

***

Your life. You could lose your life. 

Dread filled you as screams filled the air, pirates swinging from their ship to the passenger ship. 'Fuck my life.'

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #133

It is Tuesday. That means it's therapy day. So that's where I went this morning.

Last week I was there, I met a kindly old gentleman with poofy white hair who really liked my hat. I had a brief, but delightful conversation with him! It was a good time!

In case you are wondering why he liked my hat, this is my hat; it is on my head in this picture:

It's a pretty great hat!! Eevee is one of my favorite Pokémon, simply because it has the capacity to adapt to anything! It looks plain, but it's secretly prismatic! Eevee is a beautiful rainbow of possibilities!

Today, I saw the kindly old gentleman again (apparently we go to the same building for therapy at the same time, I guess), and he gave me a pair of buttons that he made himself, specifically for me! These buttons have my birth name on them, and it's not spelled quite right (mine isn't supposed to have an H at the end; it's so rare to find my birth name on anything at all, let alone without the H at the end!), but I don't care!! It was delightful, and it is the thought that counts, and the fact that he even remembered my birth name at all was heartwarming!

One of the buttons was pin-on; I promptly put it on my owl bag:

And the other one was magnetic; I put it on my fridge, where I'll see it every day!

Related: if it ever becomes safe to reveal my birth name to you, then you have my permission to use either my birth name or this public one that was given to me, which I use pretty consistently on the internet; both of them are appropriate descriptors of my general existence, I think!

…I was sad when he told me that his wife said to him that he might end up accidentally creeping me out. This is something I understand well; I do kind things for others just for the sake of doing it - I don't want anything. All the same, people tend to read more into my actions than I intend, assuming that I've got some kind of ulterior motive or something. I understand why most people worry about stuff like that; most of them have trauma, and most of them have experienced what they thought was "kindness", only to have someone lord it over them all entitled-like later. It's very lame, but it is what it is. It's a little lonely to be misunderstood so frequently, but at the same time, I can understand their caution; my way of being definitely isn't typical in my world.

I wondered if, like me, he is autistic. I hope I get to talk more to him sometime; I want to hear more of his story, and how he became who he is now, if he's comfortable with sharing it. 70 years is a long time to live, and I can imagine that he has a wealth of amazing memories that I might be able to learn and grow from hearing about! But I'm not really sure what is the socially appropriate way to ask, ahahaha… 😅

…After I got back from therapy, I made a tea! Today, it was a vanilla-rose white tea; I think you might like this one about as much as the vanilla-rose black tea, actually. It's got a subtler flavor; it doesn't punch a person in the face with flowery vanilla goodness nearly as hard as the black tea version, hahaha! But that's a good thing; I don't always want my tea to punch me in the face, hahaha! Br gave me this tin a while ago, and it's still one of my favorites:

It's another loose-leaf tea, so I had to break out the tea ball again - not that I'm complaining, of course!

Today, Momma (Or Oma, for short! Or Mia, as M likes to call her, because then she's "Momma Mia", haha!) is on the windowsill! She is Mogwai's mother. She was a rather murdery stray just a few years ago (quite literally; at first she was so aggressive that she had to be kept in a separate room and I had to go in by myself with cardboard armor on my legs to feed her), but with lots of love and time to adjust, she has become very cuddly and friendly, even if she still sometimes gets into brief spats with our other cats! 🥰🥰🥰

This is how the color is after it's done brewing:

...And here's how it looked with the honey added, and the cream swirling around:

...There's so much in my world that I wish I could share with you...

Also notable today was the fact that M, J, and I went out to get sushi with J's sister. And this is a beautiful thing; due to a long and complicated string of misunderstandings, J's sister and I started off on the wrong foot and stayed on the wrong foot for a long time; she didn't understand that I am not the sort of person who speaks in implication, and so a lot of weird assumptions were made about me with subtext that wasn't actually there. I also tend to be very blunt and straightforward (but not cruel!), and people tend to perceive me as rude; for example, if I'm thirsty at someone else's house, instead of saying, "gee, it sure is hot outside," or whatever other indirect thing that hints at the fact that I need something to drink, I will come right out and say, "may I get myself a glass of water?" You would not believe how MAD this makes some people, good grief!!

Fortunately, with J's help, over time my relationship with his sister has changed for the better, and though I wouldn't consider us close yet, she at least doesn't seem to be actively suspicious and mistrustful of me anymore. We went to the local all-you-can-eat sushi place, because she had never been there; I took a few pictures of my favorite things for you:

...Hey, Sephiroth? Do you like sushi? If you do, then what are some of your favorite kinds? If you tell me, then maybe I'll give them a try someday, just to see what they're like...

...I don't have a whole lot else to write to you about today. But all the same, I'm thinking of you. I hope you're okay. I hope things will get better for you soon.

Please be safe out there, okay? Because I love you enough to write to you again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[mallowmaenad]

19, 26, 34?

19:A fact about your personality

I have multiple.

26:My biggest pet peeves

Being rude to servers, wasting food, people that project their feelings onto the actions of domesticated animals and babies for fun, when an easily recognizable thing in a foreign piece of media gets localized into something stupid, "cute" animal videos where the animal is being mistreated, exotic pet owners, expensive rice, expensive soda, when tv shows' seasons are spread over multiple streaming services vs. all being on one or more, people that find kate upton attractive, people raising their voices, cars that have the bass turned up so loud you hear the chassis rattling like its going to explode more than you hear the actual music, people that tell you to "just google it", ghosting, people making arguments against nobody because they want to look enlightened, christians acting oppressed, people that hate the homestuck and hlvrai fanbase, people that make fandom their whole personalities, conspicuous consumption, people who talk about firebombing walmarts n shit who have never done anything in their lives to help their communities, when I send something to someone for them to read and they never get around to reading it because they don't have the patience to, overconfident men, when someone eggs me on and on to play a video game so we can play together and then when I start playing it they suddenly don't have any time to play it with me anymore, when settings have lore than make whole swaths of species ontologically evil, people who are picky about grammar and spelling, people who say skyrim is the worst elder scrolls game, having to play tabletop RPGs by "official play" guidelines, delivery fees that don't even go to the delivery driver, people who talk about cool weapons "not being practical", hats with poor craftsmanship, the feel of wearing converse shoes, youtube accent, cis white dudes being at the forefront of progressiveness in pop culture, people assuming you understand whatever references they make to a thing adjacent to something you do know about but personally don't care about, farting in my direction, uncreative misappropriation of the word "golem", wanting to fuck league of legends characters, people that think cat girls are more popular than puppy girls in real life, deodorant, people that get pissy about buying pre-minced garlic, when arizona ice tea is more expensive than 1 dollar a can, mr. beast's face, the term "thicc" and its consequences, people who like fat asses and thick thighs who hate it when girls are fat, when people conflate the dnd class list as having actual ramifications in wider fantasy media, people who think weed is bad, asking for criticism and only receiving complaints, people that say chinese-american or texmex cuisine isnt "authentic", formalities, out of character lewd fanart especially if it's of a strong, dominant woman in a submissive position with toned down muscles, when RPGs butch bait me,

blonde girls with no personality, NHentai's tag search system, mid shounen dominating the western anime scene, when someone says something is "so gay" but its just their fandom headcanons, when one take from a post or article gets so popular when you bring up the thing it's related to people can't not bring it up every time the topic appears, people that try to get the attention of zoo animals, people that own over 700 dollars worth of firearms that aren't collectors like actual collectors not fuckin Clint from the suburbs that feels like a man only cause he owns an AR-15 and a Desert Eagle , lack of cool and edgy plus size character designs, when people call transphobic caricatures "GNC AF", gum immediately losing its flavor, the olive oil industry, when people tell me "just emulate it" or "just pirate it" and roll their eyes when I tell them I'm worried about viruses, games that rip off grand theft auto, when charity bundles on itch.io are 80% unfinished PWYW proof of concept demos put there to get good will advertising, people who are concerned with Wario's honor, lack of plus size yuri, people who turn their noses up to foreign foods, RPGs with character customization that won't let you play as a girl, doing my taxes, when people are coy about details, dudes that want to fuck alstolfo, slowed with reverb remixes, the memeification of phonk, the price of video games, waiting on game downloads after putting the disc into the console, people doing me favors and getting passive-aggressive about it later when I didn't ask for it/tried to ease the burden of it as much as possible, when people ask me what I want on my burger when the menu clearly outlines what toppings the burger is meant to come with, trying to find a tf2 classic server without additional weapon mods that break the game, polo shirts

34:What I find attractive in women

Interesting personality, eager to praise, understanding, warm, enjoys eating, weird, decent fashion sense, messy bedroom/car, doesn't wear any strong artificial scents, progressive stances on neurodivergence and psychology, physically affectionate, has incorporated something like a kind of animal or fantastical concept into their identity, caring, vaguely maternal at times, willing to play video games and watch youtube poops, sense of humor, soft, will do drugs with me in a level-headed manner, likes goofy looking cocktails and desserts, not above eating a 5 dollar hamburger on a date, into fat girls, has a broad definition of what sex is, ideally transgender, nice lap to lay head in, endurance to have 300lbs on top of them for some period of time, willing to buy things for me, kinky in a cringe way, a bit ugly (by society's standards), older than me, into obscure animes and music, appreciates a good cup of coffee, lax style, cringe resistant, quiet, into plushies, total nerd, in terms of appearance I like a very diverse range of those to the point where it doesn't factor in as much but I find conventionally attractive people boring and visible ribs make me feel concerned and uncomfortable

[sereneabyyss]

BSD Blind Watch - Season Four

This one was a Fucking Doozy. But @wafflesarecool and @animusmelodiam and I are back at it again with the queer anime authors. Fucking Hate It Here.

First off, as always, Animus numbers:

"what the fuck" count: 9 (half from Dazai!)

"fucking. russians." (and adjacent sayings) count: 13

Obligatory shout outs to all the fucking hallucinations this season.

Onto the nitty gritty.

Cat dad adopting Ranpo hours

Like these two looked at each other and went "son acquired." "Father acquired." at the same time

"I would be more excited about whatever Ranpo's doing than the play at that point."

"He got the lighting crew in on it."

"Yeah. For drama."

Color Symbolism!

Odasaku! Yippie! <3

Deus ex Machina Ranpo

Placebo'ed too close to the sun.

Ok Ok So like we're all fucking aware that the "Organic Solvent" was fucking chloroform. But why the fuck is it called Organic Solvent. Still boggled by this and it's been well over five hours by now. Are people even aware of how many organic solvents there are and how different they smell? Like you could have been referring to a combination of Ethyl Acetate and Hexanes and those smell like paint thinner when mixed. Nothing like Chloroform. Saying "oh you smell like organic solvent!" is like the same as saying "oh this is the color of a fruit!"

^ one of the mutuals despises me after that rant

No more Dazai and other dumb fucks give me an entire anime that is Just Ranpo And Cat Dad please and thanks.

obligatory screenshot of just shouting POE KARL RANPOE KARL KARL KARL POE!!!

Waffle dying again a la russians killing his wifi

Also he multiplied and at one point there were three waffles. Wild times i know

"Clown Core. I hate him already"

DOWN WITH THE GOVERNMENT FUCK THE POLICE VIVA LA REVOLUTION KILL THE RUSSIANS!!!!

CHUUYA! MORE IMPORTANTLY CHUUYA HAT!!!

"not a gun. just a box of bullets"

"Why is he so queer he turns dramatic"

"look at what their founding member did in episode 2 and ask where the dramatics come from"

"FRANCIS STOP BEING A USELESS SACK OF DEAD WIFE SYNDROME"

hey people, don't bring children into war

AND DON'T BLAME THE CHILDREN IN SAID WAR FOR THE ACTIONS OF THE ADULTS AROUND THEM! LOOKING AT YOU DEAD BROTHER SYNDROME!

I wish Mori a very unpleasant death.

"..."

"..."

"Hold"

"Holding"

"... HEY WHAT THE FUCK" (why the fuck did the random german translate to SIX STAMPS OF HORROR GO THROUGH MY BONES! very rough translation, it's been over a year since i've practiced german and it was like midnight. forgive any mistakes)

Ango only lives in my canonical fan fiction universe because he's the only bitch to not have dumbification used against him. (WHICH THAT IS A WHOLE SEPARATE ISSUE COMING UP IN THIS POST)

Inhales. Exhales.

THE EXPLANATION FOR DAZAI BEING ABLE TO SEND MESSAGES IS DUMB AS FUCK??? LIKE??? YOUR HEART IS MADE UP OF CARDIAC MUSCLE YOU CAN'T CONSCIOUSLY CONTROL IT IN ANY SENSE OTHER THAN SLOWLY IT DOWN AND SPEEDING IT UP! IN NO WAY WOULD THAT BE COMPLEX ENOUGH TO SEND THE MESSAGES HE'S APPARENTLY SENDING! YOU COULD HAVE USED SOMETHING FUCKING ELSE BUT NOOOO HE'S CONTROLLING HIS HEART BEATS? BULL SHIT!!!

I fucking hate the hunting dogs. I don't even CARE that the book apparently dumbified them. I fucking hate them. "We are fighting for the justice of this world!" you committed a fucking CRIME coming into the casino and blowing it up! That is literally an international crime or smth idk i'm not a law student! You can't claim to be on the side of justice and moral righteousness when you break the fucking law in pursuit of justice! That's vigilantism which in your sense of just ISN'T FUCKING RIGHT! FUCK OFF YOU DUMB WHORES!

Also i fucking hate the sheer dumbification plot point. Like ho ho ho actually none of us are smart because we're law enforcement and thus the page affected us and made us lose every critical thinking skill! I fucking hate it. It's so fucking stupid. Why why why why. I want the hunting dogs to have a fucking stroke and it's going to take dozens of fan fiction to make me even tolerate their asses after this. I fucking hate them right now because of that plot point. It's so fucking stupid.

Lucy <333 God I love Lucy.

[notbloominhf]

Something something people I would like to see on Rats SMP

Smallishbeans

Preferably as some random ass wolf in the woods who managed to break in through a hole in the wall, or he was found lazing about outside and someone (Lizzie🤨?) alerted the others to his presence. He doesn't do much, and is probably the least aggressive wolf ever, but his excuse is that 'hunting is like working to survive and I don't think life is worth that much work' or something along those lines. In terms of what he wants, he lost his friend inside the house and needs to get him back because the friend will set the house on fire. Not that Joel cares, but he quite likes the little pink haired mouse who bakes cakes.

Grian

Appearing in the same crossover as Joel, he is a bird (probably parrot) who enjoys chaos, seeds, and burning cookies. Got into the house through a window, and has some plans for destructive actions. Grian would usually be found flying about above Joel, as a duo, but he got a bit lost and went to the house. When I say he and Joel are a duo, imagine some big ass scary brown wolf and then he's just got a bright red parrot sitting on his head or shoulder, making creeper sounds to scare the crap out of everyone. Eventually, he's pushed out of the house because everyone fears for their lives and him and Joel go back into the woods. Not without setting the gardener's hat on fire though.

Ren Dog

I dunno man I just want Ren and Martyn. But Ren would be a big human who has been hired for a short while to bring in and settle new pet dogs into the house! He'd be rather oblivious to the rats, until one of the dogs runs off to chase one (Martyn🥺) and Ren finds the attic! He's a bit jumpy and tries to trap them at first, but warms up to them as time goes on, before eventually being completely relaxed with the rats. And then he finishes his job, and leaves the house! So he doesn't want much, but he ends up getting new friends.

GoodTimesWithScar

Little silly man makes chaos causes wars and he just wants to find his cat that ran into the house

Katherine Elizabeth

Fairy lady who is trying to find her friend! A bit like Joel and Grian, except magical and way nicer and with less threat of destruction. She gives everyone gifts and is just really nice to be around, so everybody leads her away from her friend (GeminiTay, and they know where she is) to make Katherine stay there for longer. Doesn't work, Katherine finds Gem, gets angry with the rats and very quickly leaves. Her final gift is leaving wither roses at everyone's door, which is meant to be taken as a sour response. And it is, for the most part, but some people (Oli, Martyn, Scott) find them tasty / potential weapons / pretty.

Gemini Tay

She voiced the goth girl, I think she deserves an actual character! A fairy like Katherine, she gets lost after crash landing inside of the house. After being found and led around for a bit, some rats really don't like her because she's a little bit more witch - like in her magic use! Eventually, Gem flies away whilst the rats supervising her aren't looking, and she finds Katherine. Telling her (Katherine) the story of how the rats kept her (Gem) away, she also gets 'revenge' by stealing one moderately precious item from every rat, whether that be from their inventory or their home.

[hollyoongs]

𝐇𝐄𝐄-𝐏𝐎𝐎𝐋'𝐒 𝐃𝐈𝐃 𝐈𝐓 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍! || (𝗲𝗻- 𝗰𝘂 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀)

"Tell me where your fucking boss is or you're going to die! In five minutes!"

SYNOPSIS: 7 guys that have the power to change the world for good in a unique way, sure they can mess the whole city they are battling or end in another universe, but one thing is sure, they will always comeback home for some love.

PAIRING: Deadpool!Heeseung x Computer Science Worker!reader (the reader is fem bodied) || GENRE: smut, crack || W.C: +4.2k || TRIGGER WARNING: lots of cursing, Heeseung is a menace but he's in love, is somebody gonna match their freak fr, Hee gets fucked with his masked on, oral (f), knife play, blood play (but it's like for a second), dark humour, knife licking, dirty talk, petnames (slut), bratty reader, dom Heeseung, slapping, cowgirl, unprotect sex (there's no party without a birthday hat)

Once upon a time, there was this asian young adult called Heeseung, who saves those in need and rescued cats on tall trees...

Yeah, I'm breaking your bubble right now because we are not starting like that.

Heeseung sat on his favorite bar stool, nursing ramen and whiskey with delight. The bar was as lively as ever, filled with mercenaries and ne'er-do-wells. But tonight, Heeseung felt particularly chatty, and his friend, Jake, had to pay for it.

"Hey, Jake," Heeseung called to the bartender. "You ever wonder why ramen is so darn delicious?"

Jake, used to his friend's random musings, didn't even look up. "Nope. Just you, buddy."

Heeseung took a dramatic bite at his plate. "You sound like my girl so much, but hear me out. It's the perfect balance of sticky, cheesy, and spicy, my friend. It's like a symphony in my mouth, with a full brass section and everything."

Jake rolled his eyes. "You know, some people come here to forget their problems, not to hear about yours."

"Touché, mon frère," Heeseung said, tipping an imaginary hat. "But speaking of problems, did I ever tell you about the time I had to fight a gang of mutant chickens?"

Before Shim could respond, the bar door swung open, and a man in a suit walked in, looking around nervously. He spotted Heeseung and made a beeline for him.

"Deadpool?" the man asked, his voice trembling slightly.

Heeseung turned, his eyes lighting up behind his mask. He recognized the man by heart; it was your caring boss, the father figure you never had, and his white shirt covered with blood and his injuries made everybody in that bar turn their heads around. "Why yes, it is I, the Merc with a Mouth, the Sultan of Sarcasm, the Duke of Deadliness. How can I help you, my good man?"

The man fidgeted, clearly out of his element. "I need your help. I was working, and a gang of thugs kidnapped people from the computer science team of my company. They’re demanding a ransom I can’t afford, and the police think it's a fucking joke because of all the prank calls similar to this situations."

Heeseung's playful demeanor instantly shifted to serious. "Alright, buddy. Give me the details. You have names?"

"Yes, I do." The man was so nervous that Heeseung had to take off his hands the two small pieces of paper, both of which crumpled, one with an address and another with the names of the people they took. His eyes widen when he sees your pretty name in the bloody paper, anger boiling in his body. "Please, help me."

Heeseung nodded, his tone now deadly calm despite how he was feeling. "Don't worry. Deadpool's on the case. And hey, if we save them before bedtime, I'll throw in a free ramen cup."

The man looked confused but grateful. "Thank you, Deadpool. I don't know how to repay you."

Wade patted him on the shoulder. "Just tell everyone you meet about the amazing exploits of Deadpool. And maybe buy my action figure. It's got twelve points of articulation!"

Heeseung finished his whiskey in one swift gulp, then hopped off the barstool with a theatrical flourish. "Jake, keep my seat warm. I'll be back with a side of justice."

Jake smirked, shaking his head. "Try not to burn down the city this time."

"No promises," Heeseung quipped, grabbing his katanas from behind the bar. With a dramatic spin, he headed out the door, the man in the suit trailing nervously behind him.

The address led them to an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of town, the kind of place where bad things happened in every action movie ever made. Heeseung crouched behind a rusty dumpster, peeking around the corner.

"Stay here," he whispered to the man, who nodded vigorously.

Heeseung crept closer to the building, his senses on high alert. The sound of muffled voices and the flicker of dim lights guided him to a side entrance. He slipped inside, moving like a shadow through the darkened corridors.

As he approached a large room, he could hear the thugs laughing and taunting their captives. Heeseung's grip tightened on his katanas. He peeked around the corner and saw the gang—a motley crew of heavily armed goons. And there, tied to chairs in the center of the room, were the kidnapped employees, including you.

Heeseung's heart skipped a beat when he saw you, bruised but defiant, your eyes meeting his with a mixture of relief and determination as he saw you completely tied up from head to toe. He gave you a reassuring nod before stepping into the room with a dramatic flair.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!" Heeseung announced, his voice echoing through the warehouse. "The entertainment has arrived!"

The thugs turned, confusion turning to anger as they recognized the masked intruder. "Who the hell are you?" one of them growled, raising his gun.

"Deadpool," Heeseung said, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "But you can call me friendly neighborhood Deadpool. And I'm here to kick ass and eat ramen—and I'm all out of ramen."

With a blur of motion, Heeseung launched himself at the nearest thug, his katanas slicing through the air with deadly precision. Chaos erupted as the gang members scrambled to respond, but Heeseung was a whirlwind of steel and fury, taking them down one by one.

Heeseung was in front of you fighting for his life. You turned your head and shut your eyes when you saw the katana going directly to one of the thugs head and felt the blood splash on you. Heeseung turned around, and you could see his eyes moving up and down on you.

"Damn, your tits look awesome when you get tied up."

Your eyes widened at your boyfriend's unexpected (but pretty normal at this point) comment, but before you could react, he was back to fighting, his katanas flashing in the dim light. In the midst of the melee, your boss managed to free you from the ropes, taking you to a safe place with the rest of your coworkers. The remaining thugs, realizing they were outmatched, tried to flee, but Heeseung was faster. In a matter of minutes, the warehouse was silent, except for the groans of the defeated gang members.

Heeseung wiped his katanas clean on one of the thug's jackets, then sheathed them with a flourish. He turned to you, a wide grin visible even under his mask. "Well, that was fun. How's everyone holding up?"

Your boss stumbled forward, looking both terrified and amazed. "I… I can't believe you did it. Thank you, Deadpool."

"Ah, just another day at the office," Heeseung said, waving off his gratitude as all of you heard the police sirens. When the police entered, they were shocked to see every thug down and bleeding. A police officer saw Heeseung and pointed him with the gun, him still walking to the entrance.

"What the fuck have you done?!"

"Your job."

The officer's face twisted in frustration, but he lowered his gun. Heeseung, ever the showman, gave a mocking salute before heading out of the warehouse. You followed closely behind, your heart still pounding from the adrenaline, and for an interogation of them, taking two hours of it and Heeseung waiting in the darkness.

Outside of the police department, the night air felt cool against your skin, a stark contrast to the chaos inside. You found Heeseung without his suit. He turned to you, his eyes softening. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice gentler than you'd ever heard it.

You nodded, still trying to process everything. "Yeah, thanks to you."

Heeseung chuckled, his playful demeanor returning. "Well, you know me. I can't resist a damsel in distress. Or, in your case, a badass who just happened to get kidnapped."

You rolled your eyes but couldn't help the smile that tugged at your lips. "You have the worst timing with compliments, you know that? But yeah, Heepool's did it again."

Heeseung shrugged with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "It's part of my charm."

The man in the suit approached you two, looking immensely relieved and frowining at the view of the couple. "Someone saw Deadpool?"

"Ah, no." Heeseung replied. "But he told me to tell you to remember to buy his action figure. And maybe a ramen cup or two."

"You bet my future action figure that I'll. Also, take the week off, don't go to work." The man gave a shaky laugh when he saw your happy face after the news of your free week, then hurried back to check on the other employees. Heeseung turned back to you, his expression more serious now.

"Let's get you home," he said, slipping an arm around your shoulders. "I think we've both had enough excitement for one night."

Heeseung led you through the darkened streets, his arm a reassuring presence around your shoulders. The adrenaline from the night's events was starting to wear off, leaving you feeling drained and vulnerable. Heeseung seemed to sense this; his usual playful banter toned down to a comforting silence.

When you finally reached your apartment, he paused at the door, his eyes searching yours. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked again, his concern evident.

You managed a small smile, appreciating his worry. "Yeah, I'm okay. I just need to process everything."

Heeseung nodded, then surprised you by leaning in and kissing your forehead. "If you need anything, I'm just a call away. Or a text. Or a smoke signal. You know, whatever works."

You laughed softly, the tension easing just a bit. "Thanks, Heeseung."

Heeseung went to his room, and you looked at his suit on top of the table. You took the mask to give it a look, and you put it on.

You took a moment to adjust the mask, its familiar texture pressing against your face. You felt an odd sense of comfort and security, as if channeling Heeseung's confidence through the simple act of wearing it.

Just then, Heeseung emerged from the bedroom, his eyes immediately locking on you, completly lying down on the sofa in a cocky pose. He stopped in his tracks, a slow grin spreading across his face. "Well, look at you, trying to steal my thunder," he teased, his tone playful.

You laughed, feeling a bit silly but also empowered. "Just seeing what it's like to be the hero for a change."

Heeseung stepped closer, his gaze intense as he took in the sight of you in his mask. "You wear it well," he said, his voice dropping to a husky whisper. "But there's one more thing you need to complete the look."

"And what's that supposed to be, Heeseung?"

With a swift, fluid motion, Heeseung pulled you into his arms, his hand uncovering your lips and his lips capturing yours in a passionate kiss. The intensity of his embrace took your breath away, his hands roaming possessively over your body. You melted into him, your own hands finding their way to the back of his neck and pulling him closer.

Heeseung's touch was electrifying, his fingers deftly exploring every inch of your skin. You could feel the heat radiating from him, his desire matching your own, as the kiss deepened, growing more urgent. He finally took your mask off your pretty face as he backed you towards the bed, his movements sure and determined. You stopped for a moment when you sensed his intent on leaving the mask in the living room.

"Take it. I've always wanted to be fucked by a super."

"Fucking hell, you're so done." He again attacked your lips with his messier and more passionate hands. Heeseung's hands slipped under your shirt, the feel of his skin against yours sending shivers down your spine. He broke the kiss just long enough to pull your shirt over your head, his eyes dark with lust as he took in the sight of you. "God, you're beautiful," he murmured, his voice rough with need.

You reached for him, pulling him back to you, your lips crashing together once more. His hands were everywhere, igniting a fire within you that demanded to be quenched. You could feel his hard muscles beneath your fingers; the raw strength of his body was a stark contrast to the tenderness in his touch.

With a growl of frustration, Heeseung tore his own shirt off when he threw you into his bed, his eyes never leaving yours. The sight of his bare chest and the defined lines of his muscles only fueled your desire. You reached for him, your hands tracing the contours of his body, feeling the heat and power that radiated from him.

Heeseung's hands moved to your jeans, deftly unbuttoning and sliding them down your legs. You kicked them off, your breath coming in ragged gasps as he pressed you back onto the bed. His lips followed, trailing hot kisses down your neck, your collarbone, and your stomach.

You arched into his touch, your body aching for his. Heeseung's fingers found their way to your pants, teasing and tormenting you until you were begging for him. With a wicked grin, he finally slid them off, leaving you completely exposed beneath him.

Heeseung took a moment to drink in the sight of you, his eyes filled with a mix of awe and desire. "You're perfect," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. You saw between your legs, thinking he told that to you, but he was looking at your pussy with love eyes and directly to your cunt.

He was talking to your pussy.

"Heeseung, for fuck sake."

"Silence; she likes when I praise her for being so wet for me." He was now lying in his stomach with his feet up, the palms of his hands being a support for his chin, while he looked at your throbbing cunt.

"I swear to God, Heeseung, if you don't do something, I'm leaving."

"God, you're so fucking needy. I love it." He took the back of your throat and pushed you to him, your lips attaching to your pussy in a way that made you scream like a pornstar.

Lee Heeseung was such a character, but you've been in love with him for two years and you still can't get used to his actions, but God, you were so into it.

He was eating you out with so much enthusiasm. You gripped the sheets beneath you while biting your lower lip, trying to control your volume, but Heeseung was making wonders with you. You could feel that familiar knot creating, and your back arched in pleasure, your eyes shutting down because of the overwhelming sensation.

"Fuck, Heeseung…"

"My pretty slut is going to cum?" You moaned in response. He slapped your tights, making you jump a little as he stood up. Finally,  taking the rest of his clothes off him and taking a small knife from his drawer, he took his mask and put it on, your eyes shinning in anticipation. 

"What are you doing now?"

"You said you wanted to get fucked by a super. I'm fucking you the Deadpool way." He went back to the bed, the blade of his knife on your chin as he raised your head with it, your eyes looking right at his through the mask. He knew by heart that he wouldn't even try to cut you, and he was actually a little doubtful if you would like it.

So what you did actually made him lose his mind.

You took his wrist, the one that held the knife, as you stuck out your tongue, licking the blade and making his breath get stuck in his throat as he watched your tongue going around the knife.

"Holy mother of God," you said with a silent laugh. "You're one hell of a surprise, aren't you?" He growled, his voice low and gravelly, the knife trembling slightly in his grip. He leaned closer, the heat of his body radiating against yours as he pressed the blade gently against your skin—a deliciously dangerous sensation that sent shivers down your spine.

"Deadpool way, huh?" You teased, your voice a sultry whisper. "Let's see if you can keep up."

He chuckled darkly, his free hand trailing down your body, his fingertips grazing your skin, and leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. "Oh, I can keep up," he murmured, his voice dripping with wicked promise. "But the question is, can you handle it?"

You bit your lip, the anticipation making your heart race. "Why don't you find out?" you challenged, your eyes sparkling with a mix of defiance and desire.

He growled, a primal sound that sent shivers down your spine. He pushed you back onto the bed; the knife roamed over your body, claiming you with an urgency that made your heart race. The mask added an element of anonymity, a thrill that neither of you could deny.

"Answer me, not with another question." His voice was a dark promise, his right hand gripping your hips as he positioned himself between your legs.

"I can handle anything you throw at me," you challenged, your breath coming in short, excited gasps as you felt the cold of the blade, your kin burning with desire.

His eyes behind the mask bore into yours, filled with an intensity that made you shiver. "Then let’s see if my bratty slut is saying the truth."

Without another word, he thrust into you a raw, powerful movement that made you cry out. He moved with a rhythm that was both punishing and exhilarating, pushing you to the edge and then pulling you back, over and over again. 

"Look at you," he panted, his voice a mixture of amusement and desire. "My pretty slut, taking it so well."

You could barely respond, your mind a haze of pleasure and sensation. All you could do was hold on and ride the wave of ecstasy that he was creating.

Heeseung's grip on the knife tightened momentarily, his lips ghosting over your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

"What happened? Is it too much?" He was teasing you; you were 100% sure that he was smiling behind the mask while seeing you as such a mess below him. Your eyes are teary, your pretty lips are parted, and your eyes are rolling at the back of your head due to his movements.

That's like an ego boost for him.

In one swift motion, you pinned him beneath you, his hands roaming possessively over your body in surprise. His touch was rough and demanding, yet laced with a gentleness that made your head spin. The mask he wore only added to the intoxicating allure, his eyes piercing through the fabric with an intensity that made your breath hitch.

"I'm taking this." He growled when the knife wasn't on his hand anymore but on yours, moving to his jawline and pecs as you put his dick inside you once again. Heeseung lost his mind because, no matter how much he fucked the living shit out of you, you'll always be tight.

You started in his favorite position, cowgirl.

The room was filled with the sounds of your shared passion, the rhythm of your movements matching the beat of your racing hearts. Heeseung's hands found your hips, guiding you with a mixture of dominance and encouragement.

"You like this, don't you?" He taunted, his voice rough with desire. "My pretty slut is riding me so well."

You couldn't help but moan in response, the sensation of him filling you completely overwhelming your senses. Each thrust brought you closer to the edge, your body trembling with the intensity of your pleasure.

Heeseung's eyes never left yours. You could feel his gaze burning into you, fueling the fire that raged between you.

With a sudden, powerful thrust, he took control once more, flipping you onto your back with a predatory growl. His movements were relentless, his hands pinning you down as he drove into you with a force that left you breathless.

"You're mine," he whispered harshly, his breath hot against your ear. "Don't forget that."

"I fucking won't. I swear." You were a moaning disaster, your body arching beneath him as he pushed you to the brink. The world around you blurred; the only thing that mattered was the intense connection you shared with him in that moment.

Heeseung's pace quickened, his grip on you tightening as he brought you both closer to the peak, his hand slapping to your tits and thights. The pleasure built to an almost unbearable crescendo, your cries of ecstasy mingling with his low, primal groans.

"Fuck! Don't stop."

"I wasn't even thinking about it- Fuck. You're such a slut for me."

"Fuck! Yes, I am. I'm your cum-slut." Now you were sure the bed was about to break anytime soon. The speed was inhumane.

Finally, with a shuddering thrust, he sent you both over the edge, the wave of pleasure crashing over you in a blinding, all-consuming surge. You clung to each other, riding out the intense high together, your bodies trembling with the aftershocks.

As the world slowly came back into focus, Heeseung took off his mask, his appearance being hotter than it was before as he kept on shooting all his sperm over your legs, his cum being unstoppable. You saw the knife on your hand, and you kneeled in front of him, some of his cum attacking your face. 

You passed the blade of the knife over his dick, collecting his cum, and the knife was coated in white in no time. He moaned at the look of you taking all the blade in your mouth and licking it like it was his dick in a gentle manner.

"Stop. I don't want to appear in those "He died because his girl just made his sexual fantasy a reality." ,stop making me horny." He took off the knife from your hand after that sinful sight and laid you down in bed again, your legs opening as he took a look at your lovely cunt.

He now passed the blade with care all over your cum mixed with his; he copied your action a little too eager, cutting himself in the tongue and his face crunched due to the pain.

"Fuck, that hurt."

"No shit, Sherlock." You sat on the bed with him as you told him off and looked at his tongue. Blood was starting to spread, but it was a small cut, but not too small to say it was superficial.

"Who cares? I got used to the taste of blood in my mouth." You put your index finger in his wound, making him hiss. Curiosity struck again, and you insert your finger to your mouth, licking his blood. "Fuck you, actually."

"I was curious."

"It tastes better with my lips on yours; let me give you a taste." His hand went to the back of your neck, welcoming you in a hot kiss once again, his lips urgent against yours as he pulled you closer. The taste of blood mingled with the remnants of your shared pleasure, creating a heady mix that left you both breathless. Heeseung's tongue danced with yours, the slight sting adding an edge to the already electric connection between you.

His hands roamed your body, exploring every curve and dipping with renewed fervor again. Each touch sent shivers down your spine, the intensity of his desire igniting your own. You could feel his heartbeat pounding against your chest, the rhythm matching the wild thrum of your own pulse.

Breaking the kiss, Heeseung's eyes locked onto yours, dark and filled with a primal hunger. "You're perfect," he murmured, his voice rough with emotion. "Every inch of you."

His words sent a flush of heat through you, and you arched into his touch, craving more, wanting another orgasm. Heeseung responded instantly, his fingers trailing down your body to explore the slick heat between your thighs. The sensation was overwhelming, and you moaned, your body trembling with anticipation.

"I want you to feel everything," he whispered, his breath hot against your skin. "Every touch, every kiss, every thrust. I want you to remember this moment forever."

With that, he began to move again, his touch gentle but insistent. The pleasure built slowly this time—a steady, relentless climb that left you gasping for breath. Heeseung's eyes never left yours, the connection between you deepening with every shared gasp and moan.

As the intensity mounted, you felt yourself slipping over the edge once more, your body surrendering completely to the waves of ecstasy that crashed over you. Heeseung followed you into the abyss, his release mingling with yours in a final, shattering moment of bliss.

When the world finally settled around you, you lay in each other's arms, the afterglow wrapping you both in a warm, comforting embrace. Heeseung's fingers traced lazy patterns on your skin; his touch was a gentle reminder of the connection you shared.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly, his eyes filled with concern.

You smiled, your heart swelling with love for him. "More than okay," you whispered. "I'm perfect."

Heeseung's smile mirrored yours as he pulled you closer, his arms wrapping around you protectively. "Good," he said, his voice filled with contentment. "Because I don't plan on letting you go anytime soon."

"Me neither." You both stay that way, wrapped up in each other's warmth. As you both basked in the afterglow, Heeseung suddenly chuckled, breaking the comfortable silence.

"What?" you asked, a curious smile playing on your lips.

He grinned mischievously. "I was just thinking, if this was a movie, this would be the part where the credits roll and the audience gets all teary-eyed."

"You really think they will get teary-eyed after the porn movie we just created?"

Heeseung laughed; the sound was warm and infectious. "Hey, even the steamiest movies need a good love story. And ours is the best kind."

You rolled your eyes playfully, but you couldn't help the smile that spread across your face. "I guess you're right. We should get awards for our performance."

Heeseung's eyes twinkled with amusement. "Absolutely. Best Actor and Best Actress, no doubt."

You laughed, feeling a lightness in your chest that was all thanks to him. "Then let's give them a show worth remembering."

Heeseung leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "Always," he murmured against your skin. "But first, I want three bowls of ramen."

"Heeseung. Fuck off, for real."

TAGLIST #1: @jaeyunluvr @dollyyun @skzenhalove @missoxy @imjakes-wifeofc1 @monstanctiny21 @syazzzlisa @graythecoffeebean @laurradoesloveu @lilyuwon @annestxr @superbbananananana @deobitifull @enha-stars @sooberriesx @aileeeeeeeeeeeee @horijiro @yorukoshii @chokichips @yeonzzzn @ivesti @woniefull @lilifiedeans @strxwbloody @randomanothercreature @inlove-withfrogs @sousydive @mxxnintheskyreblogs @nyxtwixx @hanversace @kirinaa08 @rayofsunshineeee @avaleyshin @nanayogurt @idkmaybeimgay @immelissaaa @in-somnias-world @lyjngwn @slut4hee @luhvlysuh @branchrkive @jakeswifewithtwokids @jisoosthumb @ramenoil

↷ 𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚢'𝚜 note: And we start! Also, this is also a VERY belate birthday gift for my wife @dollyyun ilysm pookie, happy birtday 💞. And shout out to Kayla for the tips for the knife play scene 🦋

[chatonne-rousse]

Turtle-y Awesome

@sketchy-panda sent me the following ask last week:

...and this is the story that sprang from that ask. You never know what you're going to get when you share a headcanon with me! 😉

Read it on Ao3 here.

"...et puit, quand il fut bien certain que personne ne pouvait le voir, Benjamin alluma sa veilleuse."

Adrien turns the last worn page and sets the book beside his knee on Hugo's bed.

"What do you think, kitten? Benjamin was turtle-y being a scaredy-cat, wasn't he?"

Hugo giggles, eyes bright. "He's not a cat, Papa, he's a turtle!"

Adrien nods sagely at his son. "Right you are," he says, patting the book's cover. "If this book tortoise anything, it's that Benjamin is definitely a turtle."

The number of turtle puns in the world is finite, and Hugo has heard his dad tell them all repeatedly, but he still laughs every time. The sound is music to Adrien's ears. He grins as he leans down to tuck the duvet around Hugo's shoulders and lifts his son's dark fringe to place a kiss on his forehead.

"Can we read another story, Papa? I'm not even tired."

Hugo's big green eyes scrunch shut as he yawns widely.

"Mmhmm. I can tell. You know what?" Adrien grabs another stuffed turtle from the bookcase and tucks it in beside the Carapace plushie already cradled in Hugo's arms. "Monsieur Vert looks very tired. He was almost sleeping over there! Maybe if you hold him really, really gently, that will help him fall asleep. I'm sure Carapace is tuckered out after a long day of superheroing, too."

"He is," Hugo says, nodding. He strokes his little hand up and over Monsieur Vert's soft shell. "I'll help them, Papa."

Adrien smiles even as his chest squeezes with emotion. "I know you will, my kind-hearted kitten." He can't resist pressing another kiss to Hugo's forehead and delights in receiving a loud, smacking kiss to his own cheek in return.

The turtle lamp on the nightstand is switched off and the Carapace nightlight beside the bookshelf activates, dim light glowing green through the plastic.

"Bonne nuit, ma petite tortue."

He watches his son cuddle his turtle and Carapace close as the closing door slowly eclipses the bed in shadow from the hallway light. Leaving the door open a crack, Adrien listens for a moment as Hugo gets comfortable in his bed.

He smiles as he pads down the hall toward Emma's room to join his wife for another round of goodnight kisses for their precious kittens.

*****

"Kitty, this is getting ridiculous. How is that the only thing he wants for his birthday?" Marinette shakes her head, but her grin betrays her lack of any real annoyance.

Adrien rubs his face and groans. "I know. Believe me, I know. Can you imagine if Nino knew?"

That surprises her. "You haven't told him? I told Alya ages ago when he said Carapace was his favorite." She thinks for a moment. "I don't think I've shared the, um...depth of the obsession, though."

He stares at her, deadpan, before they both laugh.

"Turtles I could handle, Mari. They're cute. They're green." He bats his eyes at her and she swats his arm playfully. "But Carapace? Carapace? When Chat Noir is right there? I don't get it."

"Awww, Chaton. Is my kitty jealous?"

"Of course not," he says, pouting, though he can't keep up the ruse and his smile breaks through. "Okay, maybe a little."

"Nino made a wonderful hero, and is the perfect holder for Wayzz, and you know it."

She scooches closer to him on the sofa and rubs his back gently. His eyes close for just a moment before opening them to find his wife gazing at him with what might just be his favorite look in her eyes - a teasing glint, a touch of heat, and an endless well of love. Everything goes fuzzy momentarily, but he catches her next words clearly.

"Besides, my favorite hero will always be Chat Noir. Always."

"Yeah?" he breathes.

She nods.

Her eyes go wide when he hauls her petite frame from the sofa beside him and settles her across his lap. She laughs as she wraps her arms around his neck and presses a kiss to his lips.

"What a coincidence, My Lady," he murmurs into the whisper of space between them, "because my favorite hero--" He pauses, kissing her again, "is also Chat Noir."

There's a beat of silence and then she's laughing, pressing her face into the crook of his neck to muffle her giggles. His arms tighten around her shaking shoulders as he laughs along with her, swept away by the sweet sound he will always love. There's no joy in the world quite like making his wife laugh.

"You know I'm kidding, Bug," he finally whispers into her hair when their laughter subsides. "Emma and I share a favorite hero. The greatest of all. Prettiest, too. Oh, wow, is she ever beautiful. And strong. And smart."

"Rena Rouge?" Marinette asks cheekily, her nose still pressed to his neck.

"Nooooo," he croons, tickling her sides until she laughs again. "It's Ladybug, jumping above, Lady magique et lady chance!"

"Kitty, no!" she begs through her giggles, "Don't get that in my head!"

"Too late!"

He silences the last of her laughter when he captures her lips with his, twin sighs mingling in the late-night quiet of the living room.

With forever in his arms and their shared future asleep down the hall, Adrien simply loses himself in this blissful moment, forgetting that their baby will turn five next weekend, that the passage of time is as inevitable as the dichotomy of creation and destruction. Wrapped up in his wife, time seems to stop altogether. Marinette - her love, her care, their unshakeable bond - is eternal.

But of course, the clock still ticks. And when they part a few minutes later, after one last kiss and a nuzzle of her nose against his, he still has to ask.

"So we're really throwing Hugo a Carapace-themed birthday party?"

She nods. "Yep."

"And we're buying him the new Shell-ter Secret Hideout Super Bunker, complete with Carapace action figure, power-ups, costume changes, a Turtle-mobile sports car that Nino never had, and four different colored shields that he also never had?"

"There's a jet, too, for some reason. But...yep."

Adrien nods slowly, a smile spreading across his face. "He's going to love it."

"Oh, he is," she affirms, her grin matching her husband's. "And so is Uncle Nino."

He snorts a laugh and pulls her close once more, breathing in the familiar scent of her shampoo.

"This'll be hilarious."

Marinette smiles against his shoulder.

"Yep."

*****

Everything is green.

Their normally colorful apartment seems to have transformed into an emerald dreamscape that doubles as a turtle sanctuary.

Everything is green, and there are turtles everywhere.

Sea turtles, tortoises, turtles of all kinds - including a certain turtle-themed superhero - adorn every surface. Adrien had been surprised by the amount of Carapace party merchandise he was able to find online. He's used to the numerous Carapace items in Hugo's bedroom, pieces he's added to his collection one by one over the past year or so. But this, his best friend's face dangling from streamers, emblazoned on little party hats, is just a little weird.

He's proud, though. A little jealous, a lot amused, and very, very proud. No desperately sad, pitifully lonely teenage boy has ever found a better friend than Nino Lahiffe. He's the brother of his heart, the mellow to his anxious, the staunch protector of their little group of best friends and hero teammates. Adrien has to admit that Hugo has great taste in favorite superheroes.

Someday he'll discover that his idol is also his Uncle Nino, but today is not that day. Today, the magic and wonder still shines in his son's eyes, and it's a beautiful thing.

Adrien putters around the kitchen making last-minute preparations to the food and drink selection, making sure there are plenty of cups and plates (all printed with a Carapace action scene, of course) stacked on the island. Oddly, he couldn't find Carapace napkins to go along with the other paper goods, but Marinette had saved the day by snagging a pack of sea turtle patterned napkins that coordinated perfectly in a pinch.

He smiles at the thought of his resourceful bug, his grin widening as he hears her welcome guests at the door. This is followed by a squeal of glee when Hugo and two of his classmates run off to his bedroom to play. Adrien shakes his head, still smiling. He'll have to lure them out in a bit with snacks and the promise of gifts and cake.

It's not like he doesn't already know from several years of experience that children's birthday parties are mostly adults mingling and intermittently making sure the kids don't get into too much mischief as they play together.

He takes the spinach quiche from the oven where it was warming up and sets it on the table with the other food, rebelliously placing a black potholder with a neon green pawprint pattern under the hot ceramic dish.

A towering, tiered tray of green macarons has pride of place on the dining room table, the top half of each cookie painted to look like a turtle's shell in edible glittering gold. They look almost too pretty to eat, and the same goes for the expertly-decorated turtle cake nearby, made by Hugo's grandparents and brought straight from the bakery for his big day.

The vegetable plate is an array of green, from broccoli to peppers to celery. The party has barely begun, but the celery is already running low, thanks to Emma's clandestine snacking in the hours beforehand.

Everything is green, and Hugo loves it. And that's what it's all about, really.

*****

Adrien is on his way back from checking in on the now half dozen kids playing in Hugo's room when he hears Alya's laughter from the entryway. Clearly she's spotted the party decor. He rounds the corner to find Marinette hugging her best friend, Alya's pregnant belly only getting in the way a bit and not stopping her from throwing her arms around Marinette's shoulders.

"Sorry we're late, Mari," she says, then pitches her voice to a stage whisper. "I had to pee. Twice." She leans back from the hug and cradles her bump. "Actually, I'm just going to..." She points down the hall, and Marinette laughs.

"Go for it, Als. We've all been there."

Nino is still crouched by the door, helping his daughter out of her jacket and shoes. He just shakes his head and laughs. She races off to find her "cousins" and Nino stands, kissing Marinette on each cheek and wrapping Adrien in a hug.

Surveying the apartment over Adrien's shoulder, he claps him on the back and says, "I love what you've done with the place. Very inspired design choice."

Adrien rolls his eyes and all three of them laugh.

"Hugo is obsessed with turtles. You have no idea."

"Oh, I think he has some idea, Minou." Marinette smiles at her husband over her shoulder, linking arms with Alya when she joins them again and ushering her into the green-bedecked living room.

He glances sidelong at Nino with a sheepish grin. "This isn't too weird for you, is it? It was all Hugo's idea. He hasn't stopped talking about his 'Carapace Turtle Party' for weeks," Adrien says, air quotes included.

"Nah, mec, it's cool. Kind of flattering." Nino raises an eyebrow and laughs. "What do you think he'll say when you tell him someday?"

Adrien just shakes his head. "Probably ask if you can adopt him and be his dad instead." His smile is teasing but just a touch rueful.

Nino laughs again. "No way, man. Number one, I've already got enough kids. Number two, you're the best dad. They love you like crazy, bro. Seriously."

His chest fills with warmth. Nino is such an incredible friend. And he's right (about the last bit, at least).

"They're incredible, Nino. Being a dad is..." He trails off, unable to find the words.

"I know, dude." He claps Adrien on the shoulder. "They're a pain in the ass, but they make up for it by being totally awesome."

Nino glances around, finally spotting the table full of green food and turtle-themed treats.

"Wait. Bro. Is that a turtle cake?"

*****

"You know," Nino says a few minutes later, washing down a matcha macaron with a swig of turtle punch, "I could get used to this. It would mess with my head, but after a while--" he looks at the cup with his face on it and shrugs, "it's not so strange. Better than having my face plastered on a billboard outside the Galeries Lafayette."

Adrien groans. "Et tu, Brute? Why would you remind me of that?"

"Because I can." Nino takes another bite of macaron and nudges his best friend's shoulder, laughing.

*****

As the kids snack and carry on, Adrien finally decides it's time to let his best friend see the Carapace shrine that is his son's bedroom.

Nino takes in Hugo's completely green, turtle-filled bedroom as Adrien waits with bated breath beside him for his reaction.

It is, as usual, relatively chill.

"Little dude has good taste!"

"Indeed." Wayzz peeks from Nino's collar with a pleased smile on his face. "The turtle has always symbolized wisdom, strength, and longevity." His tiny smile widens. "I'm also partial to the color green."

Nino steps farther into Hugo's room to examine the bookcase. "I...did not know they made this much Carapace merch."

"Believe me, there's more. We have to draw the line somewhere." Adrien closes his eyes and sighs. "Although he does brush his teeth with a Carapace toothbrush."

Nino's laugh starts as a snort and builds when he spots the Carapace wastebasket beside Hugo's bed and the Carapace plushie propped against his pillow. It turns positively raucous when he sees his best friend's face.

"Holy crap, dude," he wheezes. "This is hilarious. You must be so jealous."

"I am not!"

"You totally are."

"Well--" Adrien sputters, "Marinette is, too!"

"Not as much as you are, Kitty!" she calls from the living room.

Adrien throws his hands in the air. Nino doubles over.

"Chat Noir is cool, too," he mutters, petulant.

A still-laughing Nino pats his arm consolingly. "If it makes you feel any better, Chat Noir is my favorite hero...after Rena Rouge."

That actually does make him feel better, but he's not telling Nino that. Instead, he just grins a sly half-smile at his best friend. "Good save, man."

"Hey, I know which side my bread is buttered on, mec. Don't act like you don't."

Adrien is helpless to the smile that spreads across his face.

Nino groans. "You've been married for seven years, dude. Are you ever not going to go all gooey just thinking about Marinette?"

Adrien quirks an eyebrow and glances sidelong at him. Nino nods once and pats Adrien's shoulder.

"That was a dumb question, wasn't it?"

"Yep," Marinette says from the hallway behind them.

Adrien's heart beats faster at the twinkle in her eye. He wonders how much she heard. Probably all of it - she always did have sonic hearing, but motherhood seemed to ramp it up to eleven. Not much escapes his wife.

"Time for cake and presents," she announces. "Nino, you can revel in Hugo's Carapace shrine later."

"And I will, don't you worry," Nino says with a laugh as he turns to head back to the party.

Adrien throws an arm over his best friend's shoulder and smiles brightly at Marinette.

Hugo has merch, but Adrien has a real, live Ladybug who promised eternity to her Chat Noir. He holds his own favorite superhero in his arms every night, and nothing, nothing compares to that.

*****

Surrounded by wrapping paper and bows, the birthday boy sits on the floor with one last gift in front of him. The box is taller than he is when seated, and he has to stand up on his knees to tear the paper off the top. As soon as he can see what's inside, he shouts with glee and jumps to his feet. Overjoyed, he scampers around the coffee table to his parents, first thanking Marinette with a hug and kiss, then getting swept up in Adrien's arms for a bear hug.

The fact that Hugo doesn't push away from him to return to his barely-unwrapped gift is not lost on him, nor is the fact that he abandoned it and thought to thank them first in his excitement.

Sometimes Adrien feels like he's been given so much more than he deserves. Marinette alone is a blessing beyond his imagination, but Emma and Hugo, too? It's too much and he knows it, so he holds them close and relishes every single moment like this one with his little boy hugging him tight and murmuring thanks into his neck.

A few minutes later finds Hugo examining every detail of his new treasure (after Adrien wrangled all the parts out of their plastic-encased prison).

He claps his hands when he sees that this set comes with a bonus Chat Noir action figure in addition to Carapace and his shields of many colors.

"Maman!" he cries, jubilant, holding Chat Noir above his head so she can see. "Look! It has Chat Noir! You love Chat Noir!"

Blushing, Marinette pointedly avoids looking in the direction of the two moms of Hugo's school friends who've stayed for the party but smiles widely at her son. "I do. He's my favorite superhero of all time."

Hugo nods, turning to his dad where he sits beside him on the floor, struggling to snip the tiny plastic anchors holding each piece to the cardboard backing.

"See, Papa? He's Carapace's sidekick."

"Hey!" Adrien says indignantly. He looks up from the mess of cardboard and plastic in his lap as Marinette, Alya, and Nino laugh.

Nino, best bro that he is, chimes in. "Nah, little man, Chat Noir is no one's sidekick. He's way too brave and cool for that." He grins at Hugo and points first to the Carapace action figure on the coffee table and then to Chat Noir in his hand. "They're a team. Best friends and superheroes at the same time. That's why they're so awesome."

Hugo looks at the Chat Noir figure for a long moment. "Wow," he breathes. "Chat Noir is as cool as Carapace." He says it like a revelation that's rocked his entire worldview.

Alya sniffles and Marinette hands her a tissue.

"Okay, but Ladybug is still the coolest," Emma pipes up from Hugo's other side.

All the adults besides Marinette nod. Adrien reaches around Hugo to pat Emma's back.

"You're absolutely correct, kitten."

Marinette blushes again and Alya blows her nose.

Hugo tucks Carapace into the driver's seat of the Turtle-mobile with Chat Noir beside him as his passenger, racing the sports car across the rug toward his friends so they can play with his new toys, too.

Adrien looks from his son to his own best friend, and Nino gives him a thumbs up and a grin.

*****

Later, when the dishes are washed and their living room looks slightly less like a turtle habitat, Adrien sits on the sofa with a cup of tea and watches Hugo play with his new, treasured birthday gifts. The Shell-ter Secret Hideout Super Bunker is open, its many accessories strewn around Hugo where he sits cross-legged, Carapace in his left hand and Chat Noir in his right.

"I'll protect you!" "Carapace" cries, Hugo's voice pitched to sound brave and true but still carrying his sweet child's tone.

"Thank you for keeping My Lady safe, Carapace!"

Adrien snorts a surprised laugh into his tea. "Chat Noir" speaks in a husky growl, though Hugo gives him a note of cheery confidence, as though he truly appreciates Carapace's brave deeds, as though Chat Noir can take the decisive cataclysmic swing knowing his beloved partner is safe from harm.

And honestly, Hugo has the right of it. Adrien wonders how his son could possibly know that this exact scene - with slightly different dialogue, of course - played out many times over, years before he was born.

Hugo mimics the sound of an explosion, then an "oof!" as Chat Noir falls to his back but springs up again quickly. Just as Carapace returns to Chat's side with a confident, "What can I do to help save the day, Chat Noir?", Marinette's hands snake around Adrien's shoulders from behind, surprising him.

He sets his mug on a coaster on the end table and wraps his hands around her forearms, pulling her in closer. Leaned over the back of the sofa, she nuzzles his cheek with hers before pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"I think we pulled off the dream turtle party pretty well, don't you, Chaton?"

"Oh, we turtle-y did."

Adrien delights in the huff of laughter she exhales against his cheek. That might be the most overused pun in the house, but sometimes it still lands just right. They watch Hugo play, matching grins making their cheeks press closer together.

"Looks like that was one shell of a gift, eh?"

He swoons dramatically, his head falling to the back cushion of the sofa so he looks at Marinette upside-down. "My Lady, you know what it does to me when you pun."

"Oh, I do," she says, completely unapologetic, and boops his nose.

He just has to lean up to kiss her because, well, she's so beautiful and he loves her so much and she's right there.

They break apart a moment later when they hear Emma call for Marinette from her bedroom. She plants one last upside-down kiss on his forehead and lets her hands drift slowly across his chest and shoulders as she stands.

She gives him a wry smile. "Duty calls."

"Hmmm," he hums thoughtfully, picking up his tea and taking another sip. "And here I thought her name was Emma."

Marinette groans at him as she walks away, and the sound catches Hugo's attention.

"Papa? Will you play superheroes with me?"

Of course. Always. I will never, ever be too busy for my kittens, he thinks.

"Sure, buddy," he says instead.

Finishing his tea in one big gulp, he slides from the sofa and scampers on hands and knees like a giant cat to where his son is playing. Hugo giggles at his dad's ridiculousness.

Adrien takes stock of the many accessories scattered around the play set and asks, "What are Chat Noir and Carapace up to today?"

Hugo explains the situation, the bad guy's motives, and what the heroes need to do to save Paris from disaster. Adrien listens carefully. Looking up at him with green eyes that match his own, big and wide and crinkled at the corners with his happy smile, Hugo offers the Chat Noir action figure to his dad.

"Will you be Chat Noir, Papa? He's Carapace's best friend in the world and they need to work together to save the day."

Adrien cradles the action figure in one hand and gently pats the pocket where Plagg hides with the other. His kwami presses a paw against his chest in return. Overwhelmed, all he can do is grin at Hugo and try not to cry.

"It would be my greatest honor," he vows grandly, holding up a hand in oath. "I purr-omise to be the best hero I can be. Cat's honor."

Hugo laughs. "You said honor twice."

"So I did. That's because it's very important."

His son nods solemnly, then reaches for Carapace's super jet. He places the hero in the cockpit and flies the jet around his head, making zooming noises.

"Are you ready, Chat Noir? I'm coming to pick you up!"

The jet has only one seat, but that doesn't seem to bother Hugo. Adrien readies the tiny plastic baton in Chat Noir's hand and uses it to vault from his own knee into the imaginary sky over Paris.

"Meow-velous!" he crows, delighted. "This cat is ready to be whiskered away in your very realistic jet! Allons-y, my turtle friend!"

Hugo giggles, Adrien's heart melts, and they set off on a grand adventure together.

[whattodowithace]

The Weight Of Lies (Byeongkwan)

Title: The Weight Of Lies

Pairing: Byeongkwan x Reader

Genre: Fluff; (In Ju's words) Spicy

Word Count: 3,043 Words

Writer: Whattodowithkpop [Lio]

Summary: Much like the adored story of Pinocchio, Byeongkwan has a tell for when he lies. After receiving an interesting gift from his aunt, whenever he lies, a peculiar anomaly occurs with this gift...

*****

Little, dark headed Byeongkwan runs through the house as soon as he sees the familiar car park in the driveway. This familiar car belonged to someone he hadn't seen in a long while, making his excitement go through the roof.  He runs through the house, finding his parents in the kitchen where they sat enjoying each other's company. He uses his limited vocabulary and animated finger pointing and arm pulling to draw their attention to the driveway. The person he was waiting for had yet to hear the boy speak, making Byeongkwan that more anxious to showcase his development. His parents watch as the young boy fidgets at the door, waiting for the familiar figure to enter the home. The door creaks open, revealing a tall, slender figure, hair down to her waist and dressed to the nines. She looks down, seeing the boy with bright shinning eyes staring up at her with amusement.

"What do we have here?" The woman's low voice travels through the house, making Byeongkwan squeal.

He runs up to the tall figure, wrapping his arms around her legs as his bright eyes look up at her.

"I hear from a little birdie that someone has some things to say."

"It's me!" Byeongkwan giggles as the woman leans down, bringing him into a full hug.

"He has been waiting to see you since he spoke his first words." Byeongkwan's mom speaks up, stepping forward to hug the woman as the two laugh.

"I'm sorry to keep him waiting." The woman winks at Byeongkwan. "How are you doin' sis?"

"We're doing good." Byeongkwan's mom smiles as her husband comes up behind her, resting his hands on her shoulders.

There is a tug on the woman's clothing, a light doe eyed Byeongkwan catching her attention and looking up at her with anticipation.

"I promise I didn't forget." Byeongkwan's aunt leans down with a laugh, coming face to face with her nephew as she lays her purse on the ground.

Her fingers dig through its contents, offering Byeongkwan many facial expressions to make him laugh. She pulls out an orange box, handing it to the small boy who takes it with much gratitude. His eyes sparkle as he opens the box, pulling out the item that rested inside. The sterling silver twinkled in the florescent lights that brightened the room, the singular chain clasped together deeming it a bracelet.

"It doesn't much fit you now." His aunt explains as she takes the chain from his small hands, clipping it into a circle. "But when it does, it will be very useful to you." 

At the time Byeongkwan didn't comprehend her words, nor did he get the chance to ask her for her full meaning. However, it felt natural for him to wear the bracelet once he got old enough. It still dangled on his wrist the first time he put it on for kindergarten, due to the lankiness of his still small wrists. This small setback didn't stop him from wearing it as much as possible.

His aunt had passed away a year after giving him the bracelet. She was a scientist, one that accomplished many things. Unfortunately, because of this, she was sought after by many people, good and bad. Her death records as an accident, the suspicious case undergoing no investigation left the family feeling uneasy about the true nature of her death. Byeongkwan doesn't remember much about his aunt, however he does remember loving and her visits. Even though he couldn't remember much about her, him wearing the bracelet made him feel close to her in some way. That's why he took special care to wear it always.

It was an eye catching gift, piquing the interest of many other students. One that was particularly interested in the silver chain was a little girl. She would stare at it as it dangled off Byeongkwan's wrist, her eyes shinning as they focused on the small piece of jewelry. She asked him many times to play with it, to which he agreed on the condition that it stayed on his wrist. She would intertwine their fingers, causing a mad blush to overtake Byeongkwan's cheeks. With their fingers intertwined, she would trace the delicate chain with her fingers as she admired it.

This became a common occurrence, her taking his hand in hers to play with the bracelet always ending in a blushing Byeongkwan. One of the many days of this common action, she had looked up from the bracelet, noticing his red ears.

"Are you blushing?" She had asked him, her head tilting as her hand kept a tight grip of his.

"No..." Byeongkwan whispered, his lips pouting out.

Without warning, his wrist feels heavier making him look down at it in wonder. As the two children look to his wrist they see a small little charm now attached to one of the chains. It was a yellow hat, rocking back in forth with the direction of the changing winds.

"When did you get this?" The little girl asked Byeongkwan, her eyes shinning even brighter, using the pad of her finger to flick the charm with care.

"I... I.. I didn't.."

"Is it because you said you weren't blushing when you actually were?" She teases with a small giggle.

"I was not!" Byeongkwan yells, his face turning a deeper shade of red.

Once again, his wrist felt heavier, the little girl squealing beside him as she lifts their hands, showing a red overalls charm.

"It was!"

"It was not!"

Another charm, one looking like a black top hat nestled between the two others.

"I think it's when you lie."

Byeongkwan looks to the bracelet in concern, feeling an uneasiness in his gut.

"Tell another one!" Her eyes sparkling, putting the stars on a clear night to shame.

Byeongkwan watched her excited eyes stare at his bracelet, want to give in to her wishes.

"I don't like you."

She looks up in shock, her bottom lip quivering, tears filling her eyes to the brim as her fingers slack against his. Byeongkwan feels immense guilt wash over him.

"No, no, I was lying." Byeongkwan tries to reason as he pulls his bracelet up, another charm in the shape of a black cat on it now.

Her tears stop as she watches all the charms dangle in front of her. She sniffles training her fingers across the charms.

"You really like me?"

"I do."

His face blushes again, laugh erupting from her at the sight, prompting her to hug him before intertwining their fingers again.

"I'll keep your aunt's magic bracelet a secret." She puts her finger to her lips, Byeongkwan nodding in agreement.

~

Years later and the two are still inseparable. Byeongkwan had done well in keeping his lies to a minimum, only acquiring a few more small charms to add to his collection. They had tested the bracelet in many aspects, including letting her wear it for a day as she tried her hand at some lies. It resulted in zero added charms, but she finally got to wear it for a short while before having to give it back to let it rest on its permanent home. They never could explain the science behind the bracelet, no matter how hard they tried. The secret behind it most likely passed on with its creator, leaving it a forever question mark in their lives.

As The pair grew they always appeared to be a couple, this was likely due to her unbreakable habit of intertwining her fingers with his any chance she got. Every new school year, the other students assumed they were together, neither gender wanting to intervene. Unfortunately, their final year of high school was Byeongkwan's biggest nightmare. The boys were beginning to notice her, her awkward stage far from over meaning many more boys were shooting their shot. Byeongkwan couldn't lie, he hated the extra attention she got. Not because he was jealous, but because he had a crush on her, so any competition for her affection he saw as a threat and therefore disliked them. She didn't accept many advances, unfortunately for Byeongkwan, there was the occasional suitor she would give a chance. However, she was often quick to drop them, much to the relief of Byeongkwan.

One day she enters their last class, a large grin adorning her face, directed towards him.

"Byeongkwan." She grabs his attention, sitting next to him and pulling her chair closer to him so she could whisper.

He hums as his head stays resting on his crossed arms, his eyes closed for a few moments before the teacher came to start class.

"You know the new quarterback?"

The mention of the new student caught his attention, His head lifting to meet her eyes.

"What about him?"

"He asked me out."

"You said no, right?"

"Why would I say no? Of course I said yes." She laughs.

Byeongkwan's heart drops as the aforementioned quarterback enters the classroom, his eyes training on her and offering her a wink and a smile. She waves at him and winks back, making Byeongkwan sick to his stomach.

"He's so handsome isn't he?"

"A real dreamboat." Byeongkwan mumbles, feeling a new weight added to his bracelet. He had forgot about the consequences of lying in that moment, hoping she didn't notice the lapse in behavior.

Class starts before they can discuss it more, all Byeongkwan could do was hope she wouldn't stick with him for too long.

~

Weeks passed, many weeks at that and the quarterback was still around. Of course Byeongkwan didn't like him for obvious reasons, but there was something more that irked him. This guy was very cocky and spoke bad about everyone that he knew. He treated her with little regard, calling her names, saying terrible things about her when she wasn't around. Byeongkwan wanted to punch him, but he knew he couldn't lie his way out of that fight or explanation.

He had butted into almost all of their time together, meaning Byeongkwan hadn't had the chance to tell her how horrible her, now deemed, boyfriend was. However, every time he made plans with her, the new boyfriend seemed to come along as well.

He was so thankful when she asked to study with him for their upcoming test. She had told him her boyfriend was busy so he couldn't study with them. Byeongkwan stayed quiet, knowing if he said anything he would be adding unnecessary charms to his arm.

They studied as if all was back the way it was. It was the first time since she started dating the star quarterback that Byeongkwan got to enjoy his time with his best friend. He hadn't seen her genuine laugh since her new relationship. It filled him with joy, but also despair as his thoughts clouded with the reason he hadn't heard it.

Byeongkwan decided to be cordial, asking how her boyfriend was, even though he didn't have an interest in how he was.

"He's busy with practice." She tells him, no change in her normal inflection.

"He's been busy with practice a lot lately." Byeongkwan comments, being as nonchalant as he could be about his ill feelings towards his busy schedule.

"I'm guessing he always is, even before transferring here."

"That sounds believable."

"You don't like him." She states more than asks, catching Byeongkwan by surprise.

"I never said that." A half truth to cover up the full truth in that Byeongkwan had a strong distaste for the man.

She stands, stepping closer to his already upright form, his back hitting his desk as he backs away from her approaching steps. He lays his wrist with the bracelet on the desk, hiding it from her knowing gaze. In the sudden movements, his glasses slide down the bridge of his nose, resting at the end as he watches her from over the frames.

"What do you not like about him?" She inquires, looking up at him with curiosity.

"He says things about you behind your back." Byeongkwan tells her, not wanting to keep that a secret.

"I'm not surprised." She shrugs, not seeming hurt by this information.

"Then why are you still with him?"

"Do you have someone better in mind?"

Byeongkwan wanted to die right there, the way her eyes were looking at him made his heart beat faster and his breathing go irregular. She was waiting for an answer and he only had one truth in his head and knew he couldn't admit that. The lie left his mouth without so much as a thought.

"No."

Her head tilts as he feels his wrist bare the weight of his new lie.

"Byeongkwan." She approaches him, her body mere inches from being completely flush with his. "Do you like me?"

Byeongkwan felt the room heat up, his skin feeling on fire as she awaited his answer. He gulps, feeling a heavy lump sit in his throat that sat there without so much as a movement.

"No."

Another charm added, Byeongkwan's hand becoming tired from the collection appearing on the silver chain.

"You have no attraction to me?"

He shakes his head, not trusting his voice.

"Use your words, BK." She uses his nickname, one she didn't use often, causing a strong inhale to come from his nose.

"No." His voice was shaky, as shaky as his arm holding the weight of his lies.

"You don't get nervous when I hold your hand?"

"Please don't make me answer these." He could feel his face burning as he tried his best to avoid her eyes.

"If you were telling the truth I wouldn't ask them."

"I am telling the truth." Another charm.

"Byeongkwan, I can tell when you're lying cause you are so terrible at it."

She reaches her hand out to his shoulder, his eyes squeeze shut as he braces for her next move. The shoulder her hand rests on begins to tingle, the feeling following her fingers as they trail down his arm at an excruciating slow pace. The heat in the room increasing to unbearable temperatures as her fingers reach his bare forearm.

"Can I see your bracelet?"

"Please don't make me." He pleads in words and deeds as he opens his eyes to convey his pleas that way.

"Why not?" She asks, her face twisting into sadness, a face much like the one from all those years ago when he told the lie of not liking her.

Byeongkwan wanted to avoid the truth, knowing it would expose all his lies. However this sad face of hers was something he couldn't bear to see.

"Because I can't." He breathes, his voice shaky and weak from the heat his body had experienced.

"Yes you can, I would never make you feel terrible about this."

"It's.. It's not that." He sighs, the weight he felt on his chest creating an unfamiliar anxious feeling, that paired along with his mind swirling with a million thoughts he felt he could pass out. 

"My wrist is stuck from all the charms..."

"Byeongkwan, you could have told me the truth." She scolds him through her giggles, her fingers reaching his, an electric shock going through him at the contact.

Her fingers intertwine with his, like they had done so countless times before. However, this time, something felt different. Byeongkwan felt warmth throughout his body and fireworks in his stomach. He wasn't sure if these were pleasant feelings yet, but he wasn't going to stop her as she brought his wrist from behind his back.

The chain was full of charms now, various objects adorning Byeongkwan's wrist as she inspected it with care.

The pad of her finger traces the charms, them swaying even heavier against the friction. Her eyes trail upwards to their intertwined hands, her eyes darting to Byeongkwan's for a quick second before staring back at their hands.

"Our fingers have always intertwined perfectly." She notes.

Byeongkwan watches her, a blushing heat covering his whole body as she inspects him with great intent.

"I wish the bracelet worked on me."

She took a step closer to Byeongkwan, her chest meeting his as she looks deep into his eyes.

"That way I could say how much I adore you and want you to be mine. I could say it all without a single charm appearing on the chain. I could say that I love you and you could believe me without a doubt because my bracelet would show no deceit."

Byeongkwan's mouth hung open as she stared at him, waiting for his response. He believed her. All the words she spoke, each sentence felt like truth to him, he didn't need a bracelet to believe that. However, he couldn't get the words out to convey that to her, so he did the only thing he could think to do.

With his free hand he wraps it around her waist, still holding her hand like his life depended on it as he introduces theirs lip, his kiss passionate to pour years of feelings into the kiss. She made a small sound of surprise at the weight of the kiss, but kissed him back with as much passion as he was giving off. Her hand went to the nape of his neck, pushing his lips further into hers. Their oxygen was running out, however neither one seemed to care as they stay lip locked, trying to get enough air through their noses as they clung to each other.

She pulls away, her breath coming out in heavy puffs of air as her chest pushes against him with every breath out, his demeanor similar to hers. Their lips were still touching as he spoke his next words through his panting.

"I love you."

It was barley a whisper, but she heard it and when she looked down to his wrist to see if his bracelet would become heavier, her smile widened as she watched the bracelet stay the same, he spoke no false words.

She looks back at him, her eyes boring into his as love danced in them. They had a lot of kisses and touches to catch up on, so it comes to no surprise when they lean back in again to share another passionate kiss.

MAIN MASTERLIST

[mycatshuman]

The Emo Who Stole Christmas

Chapter 4 : You're A Mean One Mr. Grinch or Virgil and Roman Are Done With the Who's and Decide to Get Back at Them.

Word Count: 3,477

Warnings: stealing of Christmas, may be some cursing, grown adult blaming a child for their problems, let me know if I missed any

Pairings: Pre-established Prinxiety and Logicality and Demus

Masterlist | Previous | Next | More Chapters

Again, a big thank you to @icequeenoriginal for being the co-creator. This was a mother-daughter effort and I love it.

❄🎅🎄❄🎅🎄❄🎅🎄❄🎅🎄❄🎅🎄❄

Virgil stood staring down at the Whoville in the ice-cold snow. 

Yes, the Grinch knew that tomorrow all the Whos would wake bright and early and rush for their toys. 

"And then, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise, noise, noise!" Virgil exclaimed as he stomped around. "They'll bang on tong-tinglers. They'll blow their floo-flounders. They'll crash on Jang-jinglers and bounce on boing-bouncers!" He held his hands to his ears as if he could already hear the horrific noise. 

Then Whos young and old would sit down to feast. 

"And they'll ready and they'll feast. And they'll feast, feast, feast, feast!!" Virgil exclaimed as he stomped around. "They'll eat their Who pudding! And rare Who roast beast! And that's something I can not stand in the least." Virgil paused in his ranting. "Oh no!" He exclaimed horrified. "I'm speaking in rhyme!" He cried out. "Blast you Whos!" He exclaimed as he fell to his knees. 

The more the Grinch thought of what Christmas would bring…the more the Grinch thought...

"I must stop this whole thing!" Virgil exclaimed as he stood up and paced. "For year after year, I've put up with it now! I must stop this Christmas from coming! But how?" Virgil blinked. "I mean, in what way?" He let out an annoyed growl and turned to walk inside. He opened the door and was hit with a blast of cheery Christmas music. 

"Christmas is going to the dogs!" Virgil blinked as he watches Remy lazily bath himself to the music. Virgil opened his mouth only to close it again confused. He quickly jumped at the sound of his door opening and turned to find Roman dressed in sweats.

"Roman?" Virgil asked concerned. "How are you feeling?" Roman shuffled forward and fell forward into his lover's arms. Virgil's arms came up to wrap around the other and envelope him in a hug. 

"Virgil…I want to live with you. I don't want to be down there anymore. Not with the way they keep treating me, like some ornament meant to be stared at or ignored! Please! I don't care if someone finds out, I can't live there anymore!”

Virgil blinked rapidly. "Love," he started. "Are you 100% sure about this?" Roman nodded. Virgil sighed and ran his hands through the other soft curls. 

"Virgil?" Roman asked softly after a while. 

"Hmm?"

"I want to make them pay. I want them to understand. I don't-I want them to-" Roman groaned and hurried his face in Virgil's chest, ironically too emotionally exhausted to deal with his emotions.  Virgil frowned and snuggled the other closer trying to provide as much comfort as he could. Then, his mind began to whirl. 

Then the Grinch got an idea. An awful idea. The Grinch got a wonderful awful idea. 

Virgil pulled away from Roman and announced. ”I’m going to steal Christmas.” Roman blinked as Virgil smirked. "They want to hurt you so bad, they'll lose Christmas. And if they want a monster, then I'll show them a monster!" 

Roman hopped up, finally finding some energy. "Yes! I'll go make the costume. You work on the sleigh!" He turned to Remy only to stop. "And you just keep bathing yourself." Roman ran off and began working while Virgil started on the monstrous sleigh. 

”With this coat and this hat, he'll look just like Saint Nick!" Roman exclaimed. As they worked, Roman's voice sang a little song he had composed from all of the stupid rumors about the Grinch. "'You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch,'"  Virgil chuckled as he heard the other sing. "'You really are a heel. You're as cuddly as a cactus, You're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch! You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!" Roman walked over to Virgil with the hat and place it on his head as he sang and place a quick kiss to his cheeks before going back to work on the jacket. "'Just face the music, you're a monster, Mr. Grinch, yes, you are. Your heart's an empty hole. Your brain is full of spiders. You've got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch. I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.'" Virgil snorted as Roman danced around with the jacket before sitting on a table out of his way so he could work on the pants. "You know, if you ask the Who's Who of Whoville, No one's denyin”  Virgil spared a glance at Roman and smiled. Boy did he love him. 

"'You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch." Roman picked up the song again. "'You have termites in your smile. You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch. Given the choice between you, I'd take the seasick crocodile!" Virgil giggled as Roman tossed the pants over to the same table. He closed the front door behind him after having moved the sleigh outside and walked over to Roman. He wrapped him in a hug and kissed his temple. Roman hummed happily. Virgil hated to have to wipe the smile from his face. 

"Roman," Roman made a small noise of acknowledgment. "I'm going to need you to go home. Just for tonight."

Roman ripped himself away from Virgil. "What?! Why?!" 

"I can't have you helping me-" 

"No! You can't--no!" 

"Roman, please-"

"No! No! No!" 

"Roman, I can't have you getting in trouble. I want to make sure if you ever want to go back, you can! I can't bare to have you help and then regret it and then want to leave but you can't because you've been shunned. Please, Roman. This is all I ask. Just this one night. Please." 

Roman stared at Virgil for a while before reluctantly nodding. "Okay," he whispered. He wasn't happy about it, but he knew it would make Virgil feel better about everything. "Okay, just-" Roman moved forward and placed a hand on Virgil's cheek. "Be careful, okay?" Virgil nodded. "Thank you." Roman pushed up on his tiptoes and gave the other a light kiss. "I'll see you later." 

"See you later," Virgil promised

-----

Virgil sat with Remy watching Santa through a telescope. "He should be finishing up anytime now. Wanna talk about a recluse? He only comes out once a year but does he catch any hate for it? No! He probably lives up there just to avoid the taxes." Virgil ranted. He paused as he watched as Santa flew away in his sleigh. "Whoops. I forgot about the reindeer…" 

Did that stop the old Grinch? No, the Grinch simply said: 

"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead." Virgil turned around and faced Remy. "Remy!" Remy rolled his eyes and prepared himself to wear a headband with antlers. Virgil quickly found a reindeer headband and placed it on his cat's head before placing a red nose on his nose. "Okay, you're a reindeer and your motivation is that you're a deer with a red nose and nobody likes you. One day, you save Christmas-" Virgil paused. "Ignore that. We'll just improvise. You hate Christmas! You're gonna steal it! Saving Christmas was such a lousy ending. Okay and action!" 

Remy glared at Virgil before knocking the red nose off. Virgil blinked and then he gasped. "Brilliant! You regret your own nose because it represents the glitter of commercialism! Why didn't I think of that?" Then Virgil walked off and climbed into the sleigh along with Remy. 

Virgil flipped the switch and the sleigh came life, vibrating with power. "That feels good." Virgil turned to Remy "Here goes nothing," and he pressed the bottom to start actually start moving. The sleigh rose up in the air and Virgil grinned. "Wow! It actually works! Okay! Let's go! On, Crasher! On Thrasher! On, Vomit and Blitzkrieg!!!" Virgil screamed as the sleigh shot off and began spinning violently, turning over and over. "We're gonna die!" Virgil shrieked. "We're gonna die! I'm going to throw up! And then we're gonna die! Mommy, tell it to stop!!" He cried, eventually he was able to wrangle control of the sleigh and they flew smoothly through the sky. Virgil stayed frozen for a moment before allowing himself to slightly relax. He let out a sigh of relief. "Almost lost my cool there." 

All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air. All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care when he came to the first little house on the square…

Virgil slowly brought down the sleigh on top of the roof of an overly decorated house. He noticed a traffic light among the variety of lights. "Weird." He turned back to Remy. "This will be our first stop."

The old Grinchy Claus hissed. And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist. He'd slide down the chimney, a rather tight pinch, but if Santa could do it, so could the Grinch.

Virgil stood up and tied a rope around his waist. He stepped up onto the edge of the chimney and prepared to dive. "He's planning a double-twisted interrupted forward-flying 2-and-a-half with a combo tuck and like. A high degree of difficulty," Virgil muttered and jumped and dove headfirst down into the chimney. 

He got stuck only once, for a moment or two…

Virgil groaned quietly. "Stupid suit," muttered, referring to the furry suit of the Grinch. Something that helped him scare kids off and leave him alone now was slowing him down from his biggest scare of all. He huffed.

Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue. 

"A little more stealth, Thomas, please." 

Thomas lowered his voice. Where the little Who stockings all hung in a row. 

"These stockings," he grinned. "Are the first things to go." The Grinch opened a jar and turned it upside down, shaking out moths. "Alright, fellas, chow time." The moths quickly gobbled up the stockings. 

Then he slunk to the icebox. 

"Slunk?" 

He eyed the Whos' feast. He took the Who pudding. He took the roast beast. 

"Hike!" Virgil called out as he launched the roast beast through his legs like a football player. 

He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash. Why that Grinch, even took their last can of Who-hash. Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee. 

Virgil threw the bag up the chimney and spun around to face the tree. "And now," grinned the Grinch. "I'll stuff up the tree!" And the Grinch grabbed the tree and he started to shove, when he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove. 

Virgil turned to find Emile and grimaced. He felt really bad about this….

"Excuse me" Emile called softly. 

The Grinch had been caught by this tiny Who child, who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water. 

"Mr. Santa, what are you doing with our tree?" 

But you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick, he thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick. 

"Why my sweet little tot!" Virgil exclaimed grandly. "There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side. So, I'm taking it home to my workshop, sweet child. "I'll fix it up there, then I'll bring it back here."

Emile narrowed their eyes. "Santa, what's Christmas really about?" 

"Vengeance!" Virgil exclaimed before remembering he was supposed to be pretending he was the perfect Who Santa. "I mean...presents, I suppose." 

Emile frowned. "I was afraid of that." 

And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted their head and got them a drink, and he sent them to bed. 

Emile paused their journey up the stairs. "Santa?"

"What?" Virgil asked. 

"Don't forget the Grinch-" 

Virgil couldn't take it anymore and walk out from behind the tree. "I'm sorry." 

Emile blinked and furrowed their brows. "Why?" 

Virgil bit his lip. "To show you all what's more important ...and to get back at everyone for upsetting Roman." 

Emile nodded. "Okay. Well...good luck, Virgil." 

And when Emile Lou went up with their cup, the Grinch went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up. Virgil quickly shot the tree up the chimney and grabbed everything else before climbing back up the chimney. And the last thing he took was the log for their fire. On their walls, he left nothing but some hooks and some wire. And the one speck of food that he'd left in the house, was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse. Virgil reached down and picked the mouse up deciding to allow it to eat something so long as it wasn't in a Whos’ house. Then he slithered and slunk with a smile most unpleasant, around each Who home and he took every present. 

Virgil took a saw and cut a circle above his head and the floor fell through along with the Christmas tree and its presents. He stepped up through the hole and smirked. "They're in sale. Everything must go." And he began to take it all. 

------

Virgil froze as he stepped into the bedroom of a magazine picture-perfect house. Oh. This was Roman's house. He glanced around at the decorations and found himself smiling fondly. He should have known. Everything just screamed Roman from the abundance of reds, whites, and golds. He carefully walked over to the bedside table and noticed the ring box the mayor had given Roman. He nearly growled as he went to take it before noticing something else. It was his gift. The one he had made for Roman all those years ago. Virgil's eyes watered and he forced himself to blink the tears away. He shook his head and quickly snatched the ring box off of the table. He went to move only to be stopped by a tan hand yanking him down and lips crashing into his. Virgil blinked in surprise before happily giving into Roman and allowing the other to wrap his arms around his neck. 

Roman pulled away after kissing Virgil senseless. "Virgil," he asked softly. "Please, let me help." Virgil bit his lip. "I suppose..." He started. "You can help...but...just promise that if we get caught, you say I forced you to do it, okay?" 

Roman's eyes widened in surprise. "Wait! No! I can't-" 

"Then I can't let you help." 

Roman blinked. "I-okay," he sighed in defeat. "I'll tell them you forced me." Virgil let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you." 

-----

Roman froze as he finally dragged the attention away from Virgil's hiding place. He hadn't realized the Whos would put out guards to guard the path leading to Mount Crumpit after everyone went to bed to protect from the Grinch. From Virgil. But Virgil ran out of fuel for his rocket sleigh and he had to drag it up the mountain himself. But they were losing moonlight, and the long way around wouldn't work. So Roman offered to try and distract them. But now, he was very nervous. The Who guards had rounded on him. Accusing him of being in league with the Grinch. Of course, he was, but Virgil had made him promise and he wasn't about to break his promise. 

"You really think I'm in league with the Grinch?" Roman asked the guards. 

They nodded. "Yeah, why else wouldn't you have immediately said yes to Mayor Anton's proposal?” 

Roman grimaced. He really hated the mayor. 

"If I really hated the Grinch, would I do this?" Then Roman started his song. "'You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch. You really are a heel, You're as cuddly as a cactus, You're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch. You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel. Just face the music, you're a monster, Mr. Grinch, yes, you are. Your heart's an empty hole, Your brain is full of spiders, You've got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch. I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole. You know, if you ask the Who's Who of Whoville No one's denyin'. You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch. You have termites in your smile. You have all the tender sweetness Of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch. Given the choice between you, I'd take the seasick crocodile.'" 

As Roman sang, he watched Virgil carefully carry the sleigh behind the two guards and try to rush up the path until he wouldn't be noticed. 

"I suppose not," one of the guards said once Roman's song was done. Then they both turned back to face the mountain. 

Roman blinked. Surely it can't be that easy! But it seemed it was. So he turned and quickly found the nearest garbage chute and took a ride to the top of Mount Crumpit. Prepared to meet his love at the top. 

----

3,000 feet up, up the side of Mount Crumpit, he rode with his load to the tip top to dump it.

Virgil grunted as he set the sleigh down carefully in the snow and turned to face Roman who was standing before him. "We did it!" He exclaimed excitedly. Roman grinned, leaped into his arms and wrapped him in a tight hug. Virgil placed a kiss to Roman's lips before setting him back down on his own feet. Virgil turned to Remy. "That wasn't so bad, was it Remy?" 

Remy rolled his eyes as he remembered at least 30 different breakdowns Virgil had had along the way. 

Roman turned towards the horizon. "They'll be waking up now," he said. "I know just what they'll do. All of them down in Whoville will all cry!”

----

"What an embarrassment! I've been robbed!" The sheriff of Whoville exclaimed as she rushed out of her house to her car. She climbed in and turned the siren on blissfully unaware of the rope attached to her bumper. She quickly drove off. 

Mayor Anton awoke with a start and suddenly, his bed crashed through the big window in his room with him in it. As Whos came out of their homes they watched as the mayor slid past on his bed. As the sheriff made a turn around the Christmas tree in the middle of town, the Mayor's bed slid around and came to an abrupt stop.  

The sheriff stepped out of her car and stopped as she noticed the mayor. "Mayor May-Who?" 

The mayor quickly jumped out of bed and pulled on his robe that was luckily still attached to the bed. He looked around noticing the damage. He frowned. "I wonder who could have done this," he said as he noticed Emile and their family come into view. "I'll tell you one thing: Invite the Grinch destroy Christmas." He raised his hands and beat on his bed. "Invite the Grinch destroy Christmas!!" He paused to take a breath and Emile frowned. "But did anyone, anyone listen to me?" 

"I did!" The mayor's assistant piped in but the mayor ignored him. 

"No. You choose to listen to a little not-to-be-taken-seriously child. And they haven't even grown into their nose yet." Anton shook his head. "Emile, I hope you're very proud of what you have done." With that, the mayor turned around. 

Emile frowned and looked down as tears welled in their eyes. 

"If they aren't, then I am!” 

Mayor Anton turned around to see Patton, Emile's dad, and Logan, their father had stepped in front of them. "What?" He asked, not sure if he had heard correctly. 

"I said, if they aren't, then I am. I'm glad he took our presents."

Who's around all gasped as the Mayor gawked at them. "You're glad? He's glad!" The mayor shouted to the crowd. "You're glad that everything is gone.? You're glad the Grinch virtually wrecked…? No, no. Not wrecked, pulverized Christmas. Is that really what I'm hearing?" 

Patton sighed. "You can't hurt Christmas, Mr. Mayor. It's not about the gifts, or contests or the fancy lights." He turned and gestured to Emile who's face showed hopefulness. 

"That's what Emile has been trying to tell everybody. "

The mayor blinked. "What is wrong with you!?! This is a child!" 

Patton pulled Emile close against his side. "They're my child. They happen to by right by the way." Patton turned towards his family. "I don't need anything more for Christmas than what's right here, my family."

The Who's all erupted into cheers and began telling each other Merry Christmas. Emile smiled brightly. They finally understood. Logan grabbed a hold of Patton's robe. "Merry Christmas honey!" He yanked Patton into a kiss. Missy and Pranks covered their mouths like they were going to be sick as they moved away from their parents. 

"Give me a break!" The mayor cried out as he turned away. 

Meanwhile, Emile was looking up at Mount Crumpit before they moved to find a garbage chute. "No one should be alone on Christmas," they whispered as the hit the side and started their ride to the top of the mountain. 

❄🎅🎄❄🎅🎄❄🎅🎄❄🎅🎄❄🎅🎄❄

Everything Taglist: @spxced-oxt @superwholocked-for-life @mirror2thespirit @aroundofapplesauce @lyditist @little-euro-girl @unicornofdarknessstuff @maryann-draws

The Emo Who Stole Christmas Taglist: @logical-princey @mostpeopleannoyne

May I suggest listening to this song as mom or you know @ icequeenoriginal showed it to me saying this is how extra Roman is singing the song and I quite agree.

[buffpidgey]

Apparently I haven't read enough 00s fma/hp crossovers, because I don't really know what the formula was, and now I'm curious--what's the formula, roughly, and how does aystiagi violate/subvert it?

Ahhh my cat walked across my keyboard and deleted my first attempt at answering this.

Ok, big points: I’m probably also drawing on other anime crossovers in my generalizations because oh damn. Were there a lot of them and oh damn. Did I read a lot of them.

But a lot of these crossovers have a core of the main characters coming in and very often making friends with Harry and Co. Maybe there’s a bit of standoffishness between Harry and Ed, but it ends up with everyone learning everything.

There’s also always always the overdramatic boggart scene. Not that I don’t like a good boggart! But a lot of times people have given boggarts way more power than I think they have/should have. These are creatures who hide and use shapeshifting to try and SCARE people off. If they’re scaring, they’re bluffing, and bluffs are, by their nature, lies that can’t do what they’re promising.

Anyway, aside from Cerulean Silver and Amber Gold and its echos where Ed is contracted to protect DRACO instead of Harry, the other common variation is where either Ed or Roy are professors at Hogwarts.

I never read many of those; I just can’t buy Ed as a teacher of people his age, or if he’s aged up I’m not really interested in that, and I’m not interested enough in Roy that his presence alone out of the FMA cast would last me through the story.

Centering in on the ‘Ed as bodyguard’ subset of these crossovers, it seems that Ed is folded into the Trio’s plotting very easily, that he’s willing to work with people in the Order, and that his English is already good.

Looking at FMA now I’m realizing that Ed isn’t actually great at People? Like, if he doesn’t have a goal in mind he’s pleasant, but he’s suffered the exact kind of phenomenon as real life kids who were in gifted programs- he’s got all the book learning, but his interpersonal skills are. Not great.

(See: how when a dude insults Winry’s automail he decides he needs to sabotage the arm wrestling contest. True it’s a very shonen thing to do, but not super mature, especially in how he goes from 0 to 60 at the drop of a hat there)

I think people have overestimated how interested Ed would be in Harry’s life in general? Ed’s NOT interested in people. Or he tries not to be. He’s hyper-focused on his goal, and any help he gives on the way to that is almost incidental. It’s overhearing one muttered phrase that convinces Ed to save the mines, and it’s Cornello’s own escalations that pushed Ed to overthrow him.

Though I will admit that if Ed learned that the guy was aiming to start a war or something, he would have put his foot down then too.

So sure this Harry kid has a guy after him, but the guy doesn’t have the stone, there are no rumors that would lead him to the stone, so Ed is going to focus on trying to find THAT as much as he can while protecting this Harry kid while they’re inside what is considered one of the most well protected places in the country, if not the planet.

Another thing that I know I do differently is having Ed not having issue with magic. A ton of these fics love to have Ed baffled and indignant at the issue that magic could be a THING. Which, to a certain point is fun. But I think at the end of the day trying to dissect how HP magic works in a physics sense is less fun because it’s not supposed to work like that and if the author isn’t careful it turns into a headcanon with like 2k added words describing investigative actions that could have been used to build narrative tension, but that’s just my opinion.

There are more notes I could make - like how people often throw Ed through The Gate to get him into crossovers and that adds a huge layer of confusion (which can be good or just messy depending), but you asked for a rough outline and this is already getting long.

So.... what I do different in AYSTAGI....

I think the biggest thing that I’ve done is that I’m focusing less on a kind of ideal where everyone would get along, and more of an emphasis on the negative qualities of Ed an Harry’s interpersonal skills at this point in their lives.

I’m also trying to balance these failings on each of the boys’ parts. They’re both making mistakes- though I think I should into balancing out Harry’s part of it a little more. They’re both unreliable narrators in their own ways.

Harry is so damn fed up with everyone not telling him everything that when his new Order mandated buddy doesn’t immediately get on the same wavelength as him and his friends, he sees it as another betrayal, and he’s not entirely wrong. Harry is at a very awkward place as a protagonist at this point in the story, because aside from DA he’s very much REacting to things that are happening, and not ACTING ON things like he does in the latter half of the books.

Meanwhile, Ed has a bad habit of thinking of his age peers as “kids” even though Harry has probably seen almost as much deadly action as Ed has at this point in Ed’s career. (If Ed had been in a Basalisk-level fight before canon I think we would have heard about it.) He’s still in the bad habit of almost ignoring the people around him (like he kinda did while he was still in school), and also assuming that they’re not likely to be willing/able to understand what’ he’s trying to do/going through.

Another thing I’m TRYING to do is to have Ed mess with umbridge in a roundabout way. Inspired by the way he took down Yoki, instead of Ed being openly contemptuous (which he actually rarely is, aside from Roy and a few select villains) I think he’d be more into maneuvering umbridge into a place where she ousts herself. (This bit heavily inspired by one of the last paragraphs in “There may be some collateral damage” by metisket where it’s remarked that all of the... chaos... Ichigo had unleashed during the story would have been nearly the same if Toshiro had gone, just with “more vicious political maneuvering and fewer outright fights”.)

Whether I’ve succeeded in any of these goals/presentations is subjective, but people seem to be having fun reading my attempts!

[el-dibidibidorado1]

Untamed Pt.3

A/n: if you are sensitive to this kind of action please proceed. I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable.

Warning: language, some sexual abuse

Pairings: Bucky x Y/n

Masterlist

-------------------

"Hey girl. Where are you going?" Howard takes a drink of what I think is whiskey.

"Home" I quickly said.

"Come On Y/n get in" Shawn opened the back door.

"No no I'm tired. I need to get home" I picked up my pace and ignored their complains.

"Alright" he said and speed off. A huge sigh of relief washed over me. I took out my phone with headphones and began my playlist. While humming and looking at the lit up sky, I didn't notice the two shadows start walking next to me.

"Y/n~" Howard takes my headphones out and startled me.

"What do you want?" I asked annoyed and terrified.

"Can we walk with you?" Shawn asked getting on my personal space. He might look short but I'm more shorter than him, that's for damn sure.

"No I'm fine. Thanks for asking" I kept on walking.

They seemed to slow down. Where they going to leave? Please leave. I quickly took out my phone ready to call anyone to help me. As I began typing the numbers down I felt one of them breathing down my neck.

"Hey Y/n do you like to fuck?" Shawn asked with a sinister smile on his face. Howard took my hat away and I unknowingly began running petrified.

"Sweetheart you forgot something" he shouted but I didn't stop. I began hearing their feet chasing me. Quickly I glance back and see Shawn running towards me. Where is the other fucker?! Where is he?! My thoughts where interrupted by a pair of arms capturing me. My instincts kicked in I turned and punched him while taking off my coat that he was clinging to. I hurried away when a heavy mass tackles me. A scream left my body and I began kicking.

"Shut her up!" Howard got up with his hand covering his nose. He lifted me up and covered my mouth.

"Wow, sweets I think that you broke my nose" he removed his hand and blood was covering half his face.

"Good" I muttered.

"What? I didn't hear that" he removed his hand from my mouth and I said it once more.

"Good" tears started to form from how scared I was.

"Good?" He began taking his coat off and got close that I could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"I'm hurt. I'm hurt Y/n" he grabbed my hand and slowly placed it on the side of his face. I closed my eyes and began sobbing.

"Shut her up Shawn! Fuck" he put his hand back on my mouth and I bit down on the filthy flesh until I tasted blood. He let me go but Howard grabbed me and threw me on the ground and got on top of me. I screamed and kicked, but he slapped me while he ripped open my uniform. 

“Wanna bite honey?! I’ll bite you” he bit down on my neck that i let out another scream.

"Stop! Please Stop!" He began kissing and continued biting painfully my exposed flesh. I was petrified and the coolness of the air made my vision blurry. I can't just let him do whatever he wants! I began throwing my hands up to hurt him in any way, I was useless, Shawn took hold of them. My sobbing became louder from the pain that he was doing to me and because his hand began traveling all over my body. The fear and stress made my vision turned dark.

--------------

No, no, NO. I moved my feet so fast as i heard her plead. My blood began to boil. At the end of the bridge I get the sight of those whoreson bastards. One was holding her down and the other on top of her. I took off my sweater as I grab the one on top and threw him to the wooden fence, I took hold of the broken wooden planks and swing at the one holding her down on the ribs letting out a scream. Over my heavy breathing the sound of a blade caught my attention and quickly turned around to stop the knife. A surprised look took over his face as my arm began to shift and I easily disarm him while I elbowed him knocking him out.

"Run, before I rip your fucking head off" the short one got up and ran leaving his friend behind. Still fuming, I walk over to her and notice the bloody bite marks. Automatically, I clench my fist, but I wipe the blood away with the end of my t shirt. I move some strands of her hair way from her face and press my hand on her soft cold cheek. I try to close her ripped uniform and put my sweater over her body; My hand goes behind her head and the other under her knees picking her up. Her skin goosebumps when I bring her closer to my body as I march to her house. The sun began to rise and it brought out the color of her beautiful h/c hair. It relaxed me but deeply I was still angry.

Gently and carefully i lay her on the swinging bench on her porch and sat on the stairs waiting for her to wake up. The sunrise was beautiful, the warmth that it gave me felt heavenly. I miss Wakanda. That is no lie, and i’m delighted to say that Shuri allowed me to go back whenever I wanted. 

The sound of her whining gets my attention. Her eyes open and she quickly gets up to fight.

"Shhhhh. It's okay" I slowly get up. She bends down to get my sweater to cover herself and her eyes stay on my arm, the fear was still there but it seemed as if it was my cursed arm that scared her. Slowly I back away and run.

-----------------------

She wonders in the house and sees Ed on the couch sleeping. Was her waiting for her? That didn't matter at the moment, she just wanted to shower and get to bed. Carefully she placed a blanket over him and tiptoe her way upstairs to the bathroom.

She removed her uniform and hesitates to turn to face the mirror. Taking a deep breath she turns and finds disturbing marks around her neck and chest. Tears rapidly fall as she remembered what he did. Once her tears dry, she turns the shower on and goes in letting the hot water circle her body. After a few minutes she grabs the loofah and the newly bottle of soap and starts washing away the feeling of them. The soap stings her but without care she continued rubbing the feeling away until she feels clean.

"Y/n are you okay?" Ed called startling her.

"Yeah Ed, do you need anything?"

"No. I'm going to bed"

"Okay"

She lets her head lean against the wall defeated. The bottle of soap is empty now, Her thoughts go to what happened on the porch. Bucky, Bucky has a metal arm. Her eyes get caught on his sweater on the tile floor, slowly she wraps a towel around her body and picks up his sweater.

Walking out like if you live alone, you head to the room and lock the door behind. You comb your hair and put it into a messy bun, you dress yourself in some sweat pants and a loose t shirt. Slowly you put on his sweater taking in his smell, your body lays down and slowly drifts into a deep sleep with the ocean blue eyes tattooed into your mind.

"Y/n aren't you going to work?" Mom voice makes me sit up panicked. Its just mom you dumb dork.

"No. I'm not feeling well" I say . I don't want to go to work. I mean I do, but I don't.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah"

"I'm going to grandma's house, wanna come?"

"No. I'm fine ma. Kiss her hi for me please" I stayed in bed still in his sweater when my phone began to ring. I’m surprised that my phone stayed on me after all of...that!

"Hello" I answer it and put it on speaker.

"Ask her Where she's at?" Fuckin Tom.

"Ya heard him girl?" I answer with a small 'yeah'

"So? Ya coming or not"

"Sorry Caroline, I seemed to come down with the flu" again the thoughts of what happened flooded my mind like a tsunami.

"Okay babe. Feel better" with that I ended the call and rolled over to my pillow and began crying.

"Y/n you okay?!" Two knocks caught my crying short. I wipe away my tears and quickly get up to open the door. Ed had a worried face and pushed the door open and walked into my room. His eyes almost landed on my neck when I zipped up the sweater and let down my hair.

"I thought I heard you crying" he sits on the bed.

"Nah I'm fine. I think I'm getting sick." He hummed and got up.

"I'm taking mom to grandma. You coming?" I nod my head. He hugs me and leaves closing the door behind him. Letting out a huge sigh my body again falls on the bed. My cat Barkley lays on my stomach and began purring.

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For the past two days I had the same nightmare. The same fucking nightmare! I needed to get out and forget about all of this. Annoyed by myself I grabbed my bag and left the way I woke up, some sweatshirt and tights. I got in my mom's car and drove to the mall, since I'm going to be out might as well get my Christmas list out of the way.

Getting on the escalator to go to the food court. My bitch ass stomach is yelling at me to feed her. I took out my list and began checking over it. Jim, done. Rosie, done. Caroline, done. Tom, do i really wa-.

A hand grabbed mine as I was going up. I quickly pulled away and looked at the person. B-Bucky? I open my mouth to say something but he was on the other side going down. His blue eyes shined when the sun kissed his face, something in me made me panic so I turned away and decided to go home. My shopping list can wait.

I arrive back at home to find my mom cooking. As I tried to sneak up stairs she head me and called me over to the kitchen.

"Are you going to work today?" I nodded my head and ate one of the carrots that she had chopped.

"Why?"

"I'm going tomorrow" she stayed quiet and continues cutting the vegetables.

"For sure" I quietly mumble and take another one. She quickly grabs my elbow and stares at me. Ah fuck. Why is she looking at me like that? Oh shit! I forgot about the marks on my neck. As I open my mouth to say something she shuts me up.

"I don't care how you got those. But if you are trying to make Adam jealous-"

"I didn't do it to get him jealous! For fuck sake I still haven't been touched mom!" The words of regret. Now how was I going to explain how I got them.

"Then? You know 'a hickie from Kenickie is like a hallmark card' She put her hands on her hips and looked at me. Great she's quoting Grease. She's pissed, I don't know why she quotes when she's angry.

"Right now, I really don't want to tell you. It's embarrassing" her face softens nods her head. That was a bit easy that it is scary.

"Dinner in thirty" she continued stirring the pot of vegetables. I ran upstairs and locked my door. That was super close.

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Tags: @tnupsweetpie

[parkwassibeea-blog]

Jikook Mafia AU

Blonde locks danced to the air as a strong wind blew up in the dark alley. Teeth gritted and hand clutched around the metallic form of the Akdal Ghost TR01 he was holding tightly. Silence filled the air as he walked with steady yet hesitating steps in the unknown, body tense and gaze sharp, eyeing his surroundings cautiously.

It was 2:00am when his mission started and he was sure he would succeed in catching the gangster, the famous gangster who could make fear coil around people to the extent oflocking themselves in their houses as soon as the night fell. As fearful and frightening it might seem, Jimin wasn't scared. At all. He had started working on this case since the first crime, the bloody crime which had fallen upon the city, previously calm and changed the plausible atmosphere to horror and fear. It had shocked him at first when they had received the dreadful call which announced the horrifying news and it only made him more determined and motivated to catch the gang members and especially their boss, their ruthless and sadistic leader.

Jeon Jungkook.

Only the name made Jimin pull a grimace of disgust as he watched the little black cat mewl and run away. He only rolled his eyes and continued with his discreet actions to the huge villa which was situated in a deserted area. 'A perfect place to hide' Jimin thought as he checked his surroundings for the last time and stalked aound the house to make sure no one was following him and hat he risked no harm. He might've studied the case really well, thought of all the possibilities so that he would anticipate any situation, but he couldn't help the slight fear which crept into his heart and was growing with every minute passing by. The idea of facing the most feared criminal wasn't enchanting for the officer and the thought of a possible twist made him sick, so sick that he started doubting about what he had calculated and planned.

A frown took place in his face as he noticed that the lights were turned off in the entire house. Jimin slowly walked to the front door and eyed it cautiously before opening it with a small tiny and metallic instrument. Jimin bit his lip nervously and walked in discreetly. It creeped him how everything was pitch black. The darkness surrounding him only puzzled him as he was pretty sure the mafia leader comes back here every Sunday night. 'He should come' Jimin walked in what he assumed was a garden. He lit the place woth the torch of his phone and squinted his eyes as he looked around, taking into the plants around him. He had to admit it, it was really beautiful, well taken care of and for a second he had forgot about his mission. The flowers always lured him and he crouched down in front of a rose. He cursed at himself for being so weak towards nature and for getting easily distracted. What if someone surprised him and attacked him suddenly? He might get taken down easily even though he was armed, if ever he was tackled to the ground, he would die, certainly. He was in the criminal's house.

After some thoughts, Jimin got up and looked around again. The few seconds where he had relaxed in front of the plant were no longer existent and his whole body tensed again as he decided to get into the house. It was so strange how everything was calm and peaceful. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and climbed the three steps before stopping in front of the front door. He looked around for the millionth time, a tight grip on his gun. He stepped in slowly, cautiously and warily looking around in all directions. He couldn't help the little excitement that was growing gradually in him. He was so close to his target. He was so close to catching him, so close to finally get the recognition he deserved and the respect he longed for. The respect for his self, his work and his efforts. His mother will be so proud of him. He was looking forward to her seeing the news and already started imagining the bright smile on her face as she would hug him tightly and ruffle his hair, repeating how much she loved him and was proud of him.

He turned his head sharply to the side as he heard some faint noise and his heart started beating erratically, thumpingagainst his ribcage. His hands started shaking slightly as he walked further into the dark hallway, touching things around him so that he wouldn't bump into a furniture. He stopped in his track as he heard the same faint sounds for the second time, eyes wide as he realised that it was actually the sound of footsteps. A shiver ran down his spine and turned around abruptly as he heard his name being called. It was impossible. How can someone be here? He didn't hear a single sound and everything was drown in darkness.

Sweat started forming on his forehead and rolling down his temples as he heard the footsteps coming closer. He turned around in all directions, holding his gun and ready to shot. "Stop!" He said and squinted his eyes to see well but in vain. He heard a snicker which made him grit his teeth and started panicking as he couldn't figure out from where the sound was coming. It was echoing in the whole place. "I told you to stop " Jimin repeating in a low threatening voice, he hoped it actually worked but let out a groan as he was thrown against the wall. He grimaced at the harsh impact and fell on the floor. He stood up but winced at the pain in his back. He suddenly realised that he had dropped his gun and cursed as he started searching for it.

"I have it " Jimin widened his eyes at the deep voice and started panicking. He didn't have his gun with him and he couldn't see where he was so he would easily get scared. Plus it was his first mission, he was just too excited to get a reward and live happily he didn't think of the consequences of his carelessness. He gasped as he was pinned to the same wall and squirmed around, trying to get the person let go but to no avail. The male was muscular and bigger, talked than him and the way he pressed him against the wall left him no room for escape. "Let go..." he said and tried pushing the body away. " Don't try to do it officer " the voice whispered darkly which made Jimin shiver in fear, his breath hitching.

"Why not?" He said and applied more pressure but it only made the male grip his shoulders and slam him against the wall harder this time. Jimin groaned as he hit the back of his head and he squinted his eyes as he felt dizzy. He gripped also on his attacker's arms tightly, needing to hold onto something not to fall and breathed heavily due to the shock. He felt a breath on his face which made him back his head away, muttering a weak "go away". An evil chuckle was heard as jimin felt a hand gripping his hair and thugging onto it tightly "You're cute officer. I don't think I'll get rid of you. Not yet. " he whispered in a dark and sadistic tone.

"You'll regret it...you criminal " he said and he scratched his arms on purpose and punched him in the face. His breathing was heavy as he was anticipating the next moves, trying to figure out what Jungkook was doing. "I like you already " Jungkook said as he spat the blood on the floor and gripped Jimin's hair tightly again. "See you in a few hours " He whispered in his ear and hit his head against the wall and threw him to the ground. Jimin laid there as his head was throbbing and he could feel himself losing consciousness slowly, Jungkook's words seeming to be only a long last dream.