#i don't care if hes fictional or not. he represents the experiences and life of myself and many other people fucking respect them.

[maerhiya]

in regards to the constant dismissal of his aroace identity, i hate it when alastor 'fans' say and use the excuse: "he's fictional, he won't get offended."

like, you're right, but it can and will offend us.

when you see yourself being represented on screen, of course you'd feel enthusiastic about it — representation allows individuals to see themselves reflected in the media they consume, validating their identities and experiences. but when so many people take that representation and decide to disregard and discard it, it is so fucking frustrating. we finally have another character to be part of the tiny amount of representation we have, but then people don't even care about how much it means to us? like yeah, alastor won't get offended because he's not real, but it frustrates and annoys us. do you realize that it's also technically invalidating the aroace community? that you're invalidating our feelings? imagine feeling like you're finally being seen because your orientation is finally being represented in media, and people just decide to blatantly ignore, discard, and invalidate it.

media has such a powerful influence on real life, representation being a prevalent factor of it. there are numerous posts that dictate how people went to watch a movie/show or read a book just because a character depicts their identity in it — obviously, being represented is an incredibly uplifting and validating experience.

which is why seeing an aroace character in a popular show is so meaningful to us because we live in a world where romance and sex are literally everywhere and prioritized above all else. (and it's pretty obvious that alastor's on the repulsed end of the spectrum, but even if he wasn't, at least make an effort to acknowledge his sexuality instead of continuing to portray him as allo; aroace folks can be in relationships but it's not going to be the same thing with allos' experiences.)

any and every representation matters, but why does that seem to stop at people under the aroace spectrum? like y'all can't even let us appreciate the scraps of representation we have. we barely have any, so are we really that dramatic for being upset at how people easily disregard and dismiss our identities that are being depicted on screen just like that? is it truly wrong of us to want to defend and maintain the little representation we have?

[rainbowsky]

GG and the Duomo di Milano

Duomo 2019 (left), 2023 (right) and 2024 (top).

He has posted a photo of it whenever he goes to Milan, since his first trip there in 2019. Here's my CPN on that.

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

Of course, as an artist and a photographer it makes sense that GG is interested in this beautiful building. Gorgeous intricate architecture that is covered in lifelike statues, no doubt it is very satisfying to photograph. It's truly one of the most stunning cathedrals in the world. But we're turtles, so we're always going to look at things from a slightly different angle.

This CPN first came up back in 2019, the first time he went to Milan. GG said in an interview that he was excited to see the cathedral, and he posted a picture of it on his Weibo account. Turtles at the time speculated that GG was inspired by the photos that were all over the news in 2016, when same sex marriage was legalized there.

It was the location of massive LGBTQ rallies when same sex marriage was being debated and put to a vote, and was the site of equally massive celebrations when that vote won.

Some people are skeptical of this connection because they feel that the time gap of a couple years is too large for it to be relevant, but to me those people can't possibly understand how significant the same sex marriage fight is to queer people who wish to marry (and who wish to have their human rights recognized in general).

Especially around that time in history, when the fight was at its most active globally. There was a period of a few years where the issue was constantly in the news, as more and more countries were gradually recognizing legal rights for same sex couples. Images of those protests and celebrations were inspiring and exciting for queer people all over the world, and those who cared a lot about the issue followed that news pretty closely.

This is an issue of significance to queer people everywhere, even those who don't want to marry. It represents a shift toward acceptance and toward broader legal recognition of equal human rights for queer people.

Same sex marriage is a huge hurdle toward equality for anyone whose rights are at stake, because most of the opposition to human rights for queer people tends to come from religious groups and conservatives with narrow notions of 'family values'. When societies acknowledge - even on paper - that queer families are legitimate, the biggest barrier has been crossed.

Based on a lot of things I've seen from GG over the years I believe he's very deeply invested in Pride and gay rights. He's not at liberty to be as open about it as he'd like to be, but I believe he shows what he can. I have talked about that in more detail in this post.

I also believe that marriage is something that both GG and DD care a lot about. They are each others anchors in life, and even when they don't get to spend a lot of time together, they are home to each other. DD has also talked about wanting a son, and GG has also shown interest in children and family and often talks about a simple life.

They just ooze domesticity on many levels, and I think that even if it doesn't fit within their lives right now, they probably talk about and think about building a family together one day. And given the culture in China their parents likely want that for them as well.

I talked about the possibility they might already be married in this post. I talked about the possibility of them wanting kids in this post about DD saying he wanted a son, and later in this one from an OOL interview where GG mentioned envying Gu Wei's life.

Both GG and DD strike me as being connected to queer culture, just given some of their jokes, attitudes, etc. and some of the people they're associated with. Even their experience with filming CQL (which I talked about in this post). They're also both from the younger generation in China, which is much more progressive and informed on these issues.

All of this leads me to believe that it's not an accident that this landmark has captured GG's imagination.

The Duomo is also a very popular wedding/romantic photo destination, and where couples often propose.

I think that it's romantic that GG posted the moon over the cathedral this time. There are a lot of fake rumors and CPN around GG and DD and the moon, and turtles believe that they often send pictures of the moon to each other. They've both posted photos of the moon on social media in the past.

There have been a lot of posts about their connection with the moon over the years. A few of my favorites are Pie's post from Mid-Autumn Festival, Pie's post about Midsummer Moon (among other things) and of course the LRLG rumor that talks about DD taking pictures of the moon for GG.

Given what this landmark might mean to GG, it makes this photo even more special.

Or he could just enjoy photographing a pretty building. We'll likely never know for sure.

[woodlandscab1n]

thank you silly little guy for forcing me to be kinder to myself you bitch. i hope you burn in hell 💖

Man. I'm glad I have Bishop as a character, they were a character that I used to beat the shit out of myself for what I considered my "bad traits", a complete extreme of this side I didn't wanna touch even with a stick.

But then I did. And, it's just...wild? I guess, I never thought I would even come close to redeeming this character, or making him any more sympathetic than what I established as the base. And it ended up happening anyways.

Through out the writing of their character I put myself the rule of never, ever change his core of being...because I wanted to make them irredeemable, by them never wanting to truly change, they'll never be redeemed but, I was wrong.

Redeeming him wasn't about changing his core, about making him more human-like, making him love and feel like other people do, completely overhauling his way of thinking. It was just... accepting it, and that doesn't mean you're doomed to be a bad person and hurt people just because of how, what you are.

I still have a long way to go to fully accepting those parts of myself, as well as seeing it on other ppl, but this character has given me a perspective I honestly didn't even know I needed, or even know it was a possibility for me.

[chvnnie]

Ceilings

hwang hyunjin x reader

word count: 4.8k

genre: angsty smut - MINORS DNI

warnings: non-modern au (1940 movie star!hyunjin), smoking (cigarettes), forbidden love, dom!hyunjin, sub!reader, infidelity, mentions of drugs and alcohol, hyunjin gets his feelings hurt, oral (f receiving), gentle dirty talk, breath play, unprotected sex (no don't even think about it), creampie, i thiiiink that's all! if i missed anything, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

summary: it's lonely being famous

a/n: do not ask me how many times i listened to ceilings while writing this (hence the title), you don't want to know. post concert depression has hit her HARD. also not me coming up with this idea during muddy water i'm-

this is a work of fiction. this fic in no way represents hwang hyunjin as a person or stray kids as a whole. you are responsible for the media you consume. please read responsibly.

taglist: @lix-ables, @rachalixie, @agustd-essert, @gibbysupremeacyisreal, @katieraven, @miamormi, @woahfruity, @isilentprincess, @hugs4chan, @stranger-thighs, @beautifulcolorgarden, @scottmcallisdaddy, @whatudowhennooneseesyou, @humayraaaaa, @americanokisses, @djeniryuu - comment/send ask to be added

Though it’s only an hour or so past midnight, there’s a tinge of purple in the dark sky. Stars freckle the light color, illuminating the tiny balcony where the movie star stands. A cigarette hangs from his lips as he finally gets a match to strike. Cupping the flame to avoid losing it (again), he brings it to the end. 

The taste of tobacco hits his tongue, threatening to overpower the lingering flavors of you. He’s careful to savor it, not wanting it to slip from him. Greedy would be a good word to describe him; even if it would only take roughly thirty steps to get his fill, missing it even a bit would be a tragic loss. 

Head rolled back, he lets his eyes shut as he exhales the smoke into the November night. A rumble fills the space around him, thunder warning him that his time is limited. It won’t be long until the few raindrops that he’s felt become more powerful. Falling in heavy waves, filling the alley below his townhome with a mild flood.

He’s in no rush. Nothing compares to a cigarette with a hint of you.

The glass doors open with a creak, warmth spilling from the inside. “Are you not cold?”

Hyunjin smiles to himself before turning to face you. His white dress shirt is baggier on you than it is him, the scent of his cologne rolling off it. Your hair is a bit messy, disheveled from the silk sheets. Makeup is smeared under your tired eyes in a way that he thinks is charming. 

“I thought you were sleeping.” He responds before taking another long drag. 

“I was.” With your thumb and pointer finger, you take the cigarette from him and bring it to your own lips. “It’s hard when the bed is empty.”

There’s no way to stop the chuckle that leaves his lips. “I’m sorry, love. I just assumed you were used to it.”

The joke is in poor taste, and frankly he wouldn’t blame you if you put the cigarette out on his face. Instead you give a dry laugh, rolling your eyes as you inhale the sweetly poisonous smoke. “Doesn’t mean I like it.”

His motions are gentle. Cupping your face, using his thumbs to both brush your hair back and stroke the apples of your cheeks. Your pretty eyes blink up at him, stars reflecting in their depths. Out of all the wonders he experiences, you are his favorite. 

“I just wanted a smoke.” Hyunjin says in a low whisper. “I promise to be back soon.” It’s locked in with a kiss to each cheek, and one between your eyebrows. 

Something he’s learned from living in the public eye is that a lot of things are fleeting. Words are empty, nobody really trusts anybody for all the right reasons. Everybody wants something from him, all for their own benefit. 

But not you. You’re the most honest thing in his life. 

Taking a step out of his hold, you give a warm smile. “You better, or I’ll push you off this balcony.”

“As is your right, love.”

And then you’re gone, the ghost of your perfume left to surround him when the doors shut. The wind steals it from him too soon, the loneliness that remains all consuming. What’s the point of this life if without you, everything is worthless?

Hyunjin smokes the cigarette down to the end, stubbing it out on the metal railing. The bud falls over the edge, landing in the tiny puddle the rain has made.

His shirt is crumpled on the floor again. On the bed, you lay bare on your stomach, facing away from the balcony door. The sheets sit on your hips, entire back lit by the few remaining candles. Flames dance as Hyunjin walks past them, slowly stripping himself of the robe he only put on to step outside in. The last thing the papers need are pictures of his form decorating them. 

The bed shifts under his weight, knees on the mattress as he moves to lay behind you. Resting on his left arm, Hyunjin carefully brushes your hair off your shoulders. Giving him space to pepper kisses across your warm skin. 

“I know you’re awake.” He whispers near your ear, delighted when he’s rewarded with a sea of goosebumps. “Pay attention to me, darling.”

Carefully, you turn your head to face him. “I told you I can’t sleep in an empty bed.”

The city whispers rumors of his lover. A faceless woman some claim to have seen in passing — sneaking into his car late at night, glances of her stealing cigarettes from the star behind his trailer. 

Hyunjin rests his head on your pillow, hooking his arm around your waist. “I’m here. Why don’t you sleep now?”

It’s almost like she’s a ghost. Even he denies her existence; laughing off the accusations even when it comes from his closest friends. How cliche of a thought; the movie star with a normal lover, one who seems to blend in with every crowd.

You shift in the bed, letting your legs tangle with his. Fingers softly stroke his cheek, pushing the dark strands out of his eyes. “Because you’re here.”

But you’re not normal. If those who speak of you knew of you, everything he’s worked so hard for would be ripped from his hands-

The taste of you greets him once again, tongues dancing to a rhythm only the two of you can hear. With great care, you cup his face. Letting your bodies become one as you inhale him like a warm cigarette on a cold autumn’s night. 

-and you truly would become a ghost to him.

With great care, Hyunjin uses his hold on you to roll you onto your back. It would be a tragedy to break a kiss this heated, lips locked in as he climbs atop you. Your legs spread, welcoming him into your space once again. 

Fingers tangle in his dark locks, tugging with every nip on your lip. His large hand splays across your left hip, firmly pressing with his palm to keep you pinned to the bed. When his thumb strokes just above your mound, he feels the goosebumps rise under his touch. 

“Do you want me to touch you?” He whispers into the kiss, your whimpers making his lips vibrate. 

“Always.”

His hand dips lower, fingertips stroking your inner thigh. So close to your heat, he’s practically aflame. 

“Say it.”

In a life full of luxuries, anything he wants within reach, there’s only one thing he’ll ask for. Every single time, needing it more than the breath in his lungs.

You break the kiss, making sure to meet your eyes as you give him a smile the sun is jealous of. “I’m yours, Hyunjin. Everywhere. All the time.”

With that, his hand creeps down your leg until it finds your knee. Hiking it up as Hyunjin slides down the bed, taking only a moment to breathe before kissing down your thighs. He adjusts the other leg, making sure both feet rest on his shoulders before completely losing himself. 

The taste of you is sweet. Painstakingly careful, he draws a line from your clit to your entrance, making sure to savor every drop of you. Nothing quite compares to this; the soft noises you make when his tongue circles your hole, the twitching of your toes on his shoulder blades. 

What a shame it would be to waste something as delectable as you.

As he groans, his hands wrap around your ankles. Keeping you from squirming out of his grasp. “Fuck, I love this cunt.” He pulls back just to spit directly on your clit, huffing a laugh when your hips roll in response. “You're dripping all over my bed, sweetheart.”

God, he’s in love with you. The way you roll your head, the hands cupping your breasts. Gently, your thumbs press down on your nipples, mimicking the motion in which Hyunjin always touches you. Firm, fast, light. Enough to make your hole flutter around nothing. 

“Sorry.” You exhale a shaky breath that quickly turns into a moan when he starts drawing hearts with his tongue. “Can’t help m-myself.”

“Of course you can’t.” He mocks, applying a bit more pressure with his licks. From the way you start to twitch, knees touching above your head, it’s obvious how close you are. Overstimulated from the unwavering attention he gave you earlier this evening. 

You cry out his name in the most beautifully desperate way, back arching as your nails start to dig into your soft skin. Unspoken pleas and warnings; he needs to let you cum. You need him.

“Again.” Hyunjin commands. “Louder.”

Over and over, his name is shouted. Even as your voice begins to crack, the intensity of your orgasm almost too much for your body to handle, you don’t stop screaming. 

Hyunjin, Hyunjin, Hyunjin.

Rolling off your tongue like it’s meant to be.

///

There’s a ray of sunlight where your body should be. It bleeds in from the velvet curtains, illuminating the emptiness of the star’s bed. Mindlessly, he traces the sheets, up and down and up and down. Wishing the warmth was coming from your skin and not the silk.

Hyunjin knew you would be gone in the morning. You always are; before the moon even fully disappears. Despite his begs, the dire need to wake up next to you, this is the way it has to be. To protect not only his reputation, but yourself. 

Every time you leave, he can’t help but wonder if it was a dream. Were you ever really here? Or just a figment of his imagination — the results of a high that leaves him feeling numb. 

But then he gets up. There’s the crumpled shirt, the smell of cigarettes and your rose perfume clinging to the fabric. In the bathroom, there are tissues. Stained with lipstick and eyeliner. The towel you used, your hair on his brush. Little reminders that you were here. Real. His, even if only for a brief moment. 

And his heart crumbles all over again, crying as the shower starts to turn cold. When you sneak out his backdoor, you’re no longer his. Lost to a world that doesn’t deserve you, a home that doesn’t love you in all the ways he does. 

Out of his grasp. A memory, nothing more. 

He stands under the water until his skin is numb, eyes burning from the stream of tears that don’t seem to have an end. The morning is a blur; he isn’t sure when he washed his face, or brushed his teeth. He doesn’t remember picking up the shirt you wore just hours later, putting it on to be surrounded by you yet again. How long has he been sitting in traffic?

Does it matter? 

Dark shades protect his eyes as he walks through the lot. The gazes of staff, costars, and the production team are heavy on him. Conspiracies whispered among them; is he high again? Maybe drunk? Both?

If only they knew how sober he actually was.

The trailer door slams loud enough to startle his friend, jumping a bit in his seat and making him drop the book in his hand. Sighing, the blonde runs his fingers through his hair. “Jin, you made me lose my spot.”

He pushes his sunglasses up, rubbing his eyes with the heels on his palms. After months in this trailer, he can navigate it with ease, finding his chair without even opening his eyes. “Sorry, Lix.”

With a sigh, the younger man flips through the book, so worn out it’s practically falling apart his hands. “You’re late.”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

Felix hums as he finds his place, folding the corner so he doesn’t lose it again. “Is that why you reek of perfume?”

Hyunjin can’t even find it in himself to entertain his jab, nose twitching as he wills himself to keep composure. It’s not like he’s worried about crying in front of his friend, but what his team will think when they walk in. The inconsolable lead actor, hardly able to take a breath. The glass shards of his heart surrounding him, turning to dust over a woman who isn’t even his. 

“It’s getting harder and harder to cover for you.” Felix says as he throws a robe at him, a silent gesture to start getting changed. “Nobody is happy about you running late so frequently.”

Shaky fingers work on his shirt buttons, praying that your scent lingers on his skin. It keeps him sane. “Yeah, well without me there’s no movie.”

“That doesn’t give you the right to show up well past your call time.” Felix waits for his friend to put on the robe, plopping back down in the chair as he reaches for the straightener. “There were so many people looking for you today. I fucking lost count of who came in and out. The director even sent his wife-“

Everything that comes after that is lost, Hyunjin’s body turning cold as he starts to get dizzy. His mind tumbles with questions. When? For how long? Why?

If he spent less time in the shower, would he have been here when you came looking for him?

“-and I’m running out of excuses. If you want to keep this job-“

“I’ll apologize.” Hyunjin says firmly, taking slow breaths to try and steady his heart rate. “And get my shit together.”

He can’t tell if the apology is genuine, or to get his friend to quiet down so he can think. Frankly, he doesn’t care. You were here, looking for him — and he knows it’s not because you were told to. Risking exposing the little secret you two have been so careful about keeping. 

The first time he kissed you, it was raining. The clouds were so dark, day could easily be mistaken for night. Your lips were like clouds, so soft and easy to fall into. Hyunjin cupped your face, feeling your cheeks squish between his fingers. When your lips touched his, he knew it was over for him. Though he swore he wouldn’t fall in love with you, he was doomed from the beginning. 

When those three words were whispered to him, Hyunjin knew for certain. You were meant to be his, he yours. Nothing was right until you.

The speed in which he readies himself is impressive, out the trailer before an assistant can even time check him. You’re sitting by your husband when he walks on set, looking over the man’s shoulders as your eyes follow his movement. He only counts to four before you excuse yourself, making a beeline to the catering table. 

Acting like he doesn’t even notice you, Hyunjin stops beside you. Pretending to consider the pastry options.

“I came for you.” Your voice is but a whisper, almost lost in the chatter of the set. “Only Felix was in your trailer.”

“I missed you, too.” He’s smooth with his words, finally picking up a chocolate croissant. “If I knew you were planning on being here, I would’ve got here on time.”

The sigh you give is cute. Hyunjin can’t help the smile it brings him. “I wasn’t. I’m only here because he asked.”

No context is needed. The star can feel the director’s eyes burning holes into his back. “What a good wife you are.”

The two of you don’t exchange eye contact, dancing around the table as if you’re only there to grab a snack. 

“He noticed I was gone.” You say as you fill a styrofoam cup with hot water. 

“Hm, for once? How kind of him to not be distracted by a model this time.”

The laugh you give is dry. “At least I have the decency to hide my affair.” Oh. Ouch. There’s an ache in his chest that stings more than he could even imagine — that can’t be all you are to him, can it? “Meet me in your trailer after your scene?”

Hyunjin simply nods before bringing his cup of coffee to his lips. “You look cute in that dress.”

How many times does he have to watch you walk away? Giving your husband the most obnoxious fake smile as you hand him his tea, accepting a kiss to your cheek as a thank you.

Maybe Hyunjin doesn’t want this croissant. 

Seconds feel like hours, the actor finding it hard to focus on the scene. His head keeps spinning, you in the center of it. Unwanted thoughts keep plaguing his mind; maybe you are just an illusion, the love he thought you shared nothing but a fantasy. He loves you so much that it physically hurts, the hole in his chest when you’re away like pure torture. 

When he can steal glances at you, he does. Always focused on him, even if you’re tucked into your husband’s side. Almost as if you’re taunting him — look what you can never be.

Claws dig into his brain, gashing it open in slow swipes. With each gaping wound comes a blood curdling screams that only he can hear. It’s loud in his mind, reality out of his grasp as the painful emotions begin to swallow him whole. With all eyes on him. 

The clapperboard barely cuts through the noise, announcing the end of his scene. Before the director can even dismiss him, Hyunjin is walking out the door. It doesn’t matter that people are staring, whispering about the little scene he’s caused by storming off. 

He just needs out. He needs you. 

Once he steps in the trailer, the costume is torn off him, the buttons ripping as he shreds it from his body. There’s little care for it — spending another second in those clothes means pretending he’s someone he’s not. And he can’t deny himself any longer. 

His back is turned to the door when you open it quietly, clicking the lock the second it’s shut. “Hyunjin, that was—“

Slowly, he turns to face you. The emotion on his face is raw; eyes red with tears, face twisted in pain. When you meet his eyes, you stop cold. Frozen by the makeup table. 

“Do you love me?” 

Your brows furrow in confusion. “What are you talking about? Of course I do—“

“Do you love me?” He repeats the question in a broken voice, taking slow steps towards you. Fear starts to blossom in your wide eyes, backing up as he gets closer to you. It’s only when you hit the table that you stop, allowing him to close in on you. “Or are you using me?”

The shock in your expression is earnest, incapable of believing what’s coming from your lover’s mouth. “Why would you think that?”

“At least I have the decency to hide my affair.” He repeats your words from earlier, hands slamming on the table by your sides. There’s nowhere for you to run; you’re caged in. 

“Hyunjin.” Your voice is dripping in hurt. “I love you—“

“Answer the fucking question!” He’s careful not to shout at you, but still raises his voice. Needing you to understand the severity of this. 

He hates the way you’re looking at him. Lip wobbling, tears running down your cheeks. Never did he dream of making you feel like this, of being the cause of your pain. It’s like someone is ripping his heart out and stomping on it — but he has to know, so he can tear himself out of this existence. 

“Yes.” You exhale shakily, hiccups building in your throat. “Fuck, Hyunjin, I love you more than anything.”

“Prove it.”

“What?”

“Leave him, and stay with me.” It’s Hyunjin’s turn to cry, sniffling as the pain releases down his flushed cheeks. All the bottled up thoughts, the words he’s never said — it all begins to spill, falling like the rain that hit his window as he made love to you last night. 

“B-but, your career. You’ve worked so hard—“

“And none of it matters it if you’re not here.” A shaky hand cups your face, gently brushing the tears away. “If I have to wake up without you one more time, I fear I won’t survive.”

It’s always been obvious that he’s in love with you, but never has he bared his soul quite like this. All of it, no longer buried inside him. No longer protected. Yours to cherish, yours to break. Every ounce of him has always been yours.

He can hear the wheels turn in your head. All of the options carefully weighed as you scan his face. The longer your silence continues, the more his fear grows. Crawling up his body like a poison ivy, every inch of his skin on fire as the chance of losing you increases. 

You sigh before breaking eye contact, and it’s over. He can feel it — all a dream, never a reality. The ghost of you is haunting him already.

“Why do I keep leaving you to wake alone-“ You grab his free hand with both of yours, cupping it as if it was made of glass. “-when I dread it just as much myself?

His sight follows yours, catching one last look at the ring on your finger before it falls to the floor. The love and home you built with a man that wasn’t him gone with a light thud.

For once, in the entirety of the time he’s known him, you’re finally all his.

In unison, you both look up. Meeting each other’s gaze once more; only this time, there’s no pain. No anger, no confusion. In that space is a love nobody in this eternity ever has, or ever will experience. 

You are better than anything he could dream. Than any writer could ever create. Even the stars are jealous of the wonder you hold. 

And you’re all his.

When he kisses you, it’s better than any you’ve ever shared before. There’s no barrier, nothing that’s going to take you from him after you lay together. It’s like experiencing you for the first time all over again, and he’ll be damned to take it for granted. 

Grabbing your hips, he lifts you up just a bit to put you on the makeup table. Once sat, your legs hook around his waist, pushing your bodies so close together that they threaten to become one. Your head tilts back, allowing Hyunjin to deepen the kiss. It’s sloppier than usual, the excitement too hard to contain. He smiles into the kiss, eagerly letting his tongue tangle with yours.

The trailer is scolding hot on this cool November afternoon, the windows steaming from your combined body heat. As the kiss moves to your jaw, your nails dig into his back, slowly raking down until your fingers brush the waistband of his boxers. 

Hyunjin considers himself to be a respectful, honorable man. Even though he’s sleeping with another man’s wife, he’s always been careful not to leave marks. He has some respect; or at least, he used to. Now he’s nipping at your jaw, not caring about the bruises he leaves. 

“Tell me, darling.” His voice has dropped an octave, low and almost chilling. “How often did you let him touch you after I did?”

You shake your head, gasping when you feel his hands slip under the skirt of your dress. “N-never. It's only ever been you.”

He can’t even fathom how any man could share a bed with you and not want to worship every inch of you. What an absolute joke of a husband — but at least he was kind enough to save you for Hyunjin. 

His fingers hook onto your silk panties, tugging them off with a strength that pulls you to the edge of the table. “Good. I don’t like to share.”

It’s very likely that he is biased, but Hyunjin thinks you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. The way your soft lips part in surprise every time his hand wraps around your throat, the insatiable desire burning deep in your eyes — oh, he’ll never tire of making you react like this. 

Your panties fall to the ground, landing close by the abandoned wedding ring. The grip he has on you is intense; palm pressing hard enough to make your lips tingle, little whimpers leaving them as you push his boxers down. His cock catches on the waistband, springing up when fully released and hitting his lower abs. 

Are you already drooling? How precious. 

Hyunjin collects your spit with his thumb, shoving it back into your mouth. “Don’t be so messy, love.”

An apology vibrates against his thumb, only to be cut short by a low moan when the head of his cock starts to tease your folds. There’s something about his touch that drives you wild, a feral force driving you to start shaking as you buck your hips. 

He takes the thumb out of your mouth, letting the pretty sounds fill the trailer. All it takes is a raise of his brows for you to start begging, damn near incoherent. 

“Please, Jinnie.” You whine. “I n-need you.”

“And I, you.”

It only takes one fluid thrust to fill you to the brim; the width of his cock gives you a delightfully painful stretch. As you cry in pleasure, he playfully chuckles, bucking in even though there’s no more space. Just so you can feel all of him. 

“Just like that.” Hyunjin says, capturing your lips for a quick kiss. “Make all those pretty noises for me, love.”

And with that, he pulls back until just the tip is inside you. Your cunt flutters around him, so eager for him even after a small taste. The strength in which he slams into you makes the table shake, the trailer creaking from the movement. 

Hyunjin has fucked you in here a number of times, always making sure to be as inconspicuous as possible. Not wanting to give more fuel for the rumors. 

Now, he’s pouring the gas over it, and will even light the flame himself. 

The rhythm he picks is rough; squeezing your neck tighter with each brutal movement. He’s sure you leave bruises all over you. Neck, hips, legs. All reminders that he’s the only person for you. 

A delightful scream, followed by a precious giggle, alerts Hyunjin of your soft spot. Your arms wrap around his shoulders, clinging to his sweaty body as he makes a point of hitting it again.

“H-hyunjin.” You pant, barely able to form words. “Good, good-“

“Oh?” He snakes a hand between your bodies, only barely touching your clit. Just the featherlight touch makes you twitch. “You’re so sensitive, baby. Were you that hungry for my cock?”

He doesn’t have to look at you to know the expression you’re wearing — eyes shut, drool rolling down your chin. Fucked dumb so easily, it’s almost comical. Deciding that words are too hard, you nod as your moans increase in volume. 

God, Hyunjin loves you so fucking much.

It doesn’t take much more for you to start to cry, the orgasm building faster than he can fuck you. Grabbing the nape of your neck, he pulls your head up despite your protest. 

“Where?” He asks through shaky breaths, his own stomach starting to twitch.

Your eyes slowly flutter open, staring at him with empty doe as you lock your legs shut. And clench.

It was your one rule. You can fuck, you can fall in love, but Hyunjin cannot cum in you. It was the one boundary you set, and he was nothing but respectful of your wishes. 

So to know that this is now what you want, making it almost impossible for him to pull out—

“Fuck, kiss me.” He growls, slamming your lips against his own. The second you cum around his cock, he releases into you, finally making you his own.

Limply you cling to him, whining as he pulls out of you. When the kiss breaks, your head returns to his shoulder. Clinging to him as if your life depends on it. 

Hyunjin loves you from the table, lying you down on the cool leather couch. When he tries to release you, you begin to cry in protest. 

“Shh, darling.” He says with a fond chuckle. “I’m just going to get you some water. I’ll be back.”

You’re asleep before he even gets his robe on. Before leaving, he picks up a bit. Returns the makeup to the table, finds your ring. Stuffs the panties in his pocket.

It’s a quick, brisk walk back to the set. A red light warns him that the cameras are rolling, yet he walks in without a care. 

After all, without him, there’s no movie.

The director yells for the scene to end with an annoyed tone, turning his head to glare at whoever just interrupted the otherwise smooth scene. Hyunjin only smiles as he approaches him, the smell of sweat and sex rolling off his body. 

It’s a wordless exchange — digging in his pocket, the actor pulls out your ring, wrapping your soiled panties around it. Carelessly, Hyunjin drops it on the director's lap, waiting for the realization to cross his face before he speaks.

“I quit.”

©: chvnnie 2023

[belit0]

HEYYYYYY!!! Thank you so much for working and accepting my request! I was the one who asked for the Madara oneshot where his wife gives birth to his son. IT TOUCHED ME SOO SOO MUCH YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD WRITER A LITERALLY CRIED AS I READ THE PARTS WITH IZUNA IT WAS TOO EMOTIONAL. You did so much more then i expect and i can’t thank you enough. The way how you wrote that Oneshot, the way how emotional ans touching it was, you let me cry too much for that it was too good you brought me to tears!😭 i love your writing very much and i love how unique ans beautiful your works are because you alway work on such good request and that is what makes your writing style so special. No one would be able to write auch complicated characters as Indra and the Uchiha’s in such a realistic and relate able way, you truly have the talent and if i am being totally honest, i read your works almost every time no matter how many times i read them. They never get boring for me because of your well written way you represent the characters in your oneshots or request, you do have my talent because you are the only one who actually sees the truth behind the cold mask of the Uchiha’s. You write them so realistic ans that is what makes me read your writings all over again. I love this blog so much it’s my safe place. Whenever i feel down or in a bad mood, i would always check ip on your blog to just read your mesmerizing work! (I am so sorry if i write to much but i honest just CAN’T stop to praise you since you and your blog means so so much too me😭‼️) If i may, i wanted to ask for another request for Madara. (I apologize again, i can’t get enough from this man😭) About Madara confession his love to his s/o after pushing her away and hurting her countless times because well.. he is Madara. How will he confess it to her after denying it for so long? I know it’s a very.. weird request but i hope you will understand it. I love your blog and your the only writer i do admire so much. Taking care of all your request is truly admire! Your work’s are so overrated just like you because you are way too good at writing the Uchiha’s. There is no need to accept my request, i just wanted to make you feel loved and appreciated. You mean so much to me please never disappear🫶🏻

You have no idea how happy I am to know that this is someone's safe place. This blog started as a tacit and fictional way to vent, my own safe place, and it makes me so happy to know that it extends to others, that someone feels comfortable and supported here, that's all I've ever tried to achieve!!😭🙌🏻💕

I'm not going to lie, my main idea was to shatter hearts with that Oneshot, ghost! Izuna always manages to get to everyone's core👻❣️

Regarding the Uchiha, I always do my best to make them realistic, they have very complicated personalities that are sometimes hard to deal with, but I do my best🤠

Coincidentally, Indra is the love of my life, and the most difficult of all!!!! There is not a single piece in which I don't find it hard to work with him, a pleasant effort of course, but complicated all the same👀💫 Love me a good ass challenge

He is unable to define what hurts more, the agony of having pushed her away or the grief of now missing her madly. Madara carries an ancestral struggle with his complicated feelings from the time he learned to stand on his feet, always confused and unsure of what is going on inside him.

The only thing he could always identify was anger, violence, dark sensations in his chest that compelled him to go out and kill, vent, yet he never learned to cope with those things considered good, healthy, beautiful.

(Y/N) brought for him a whirlwind of unknown experiences, a leap into an uncertain void, not knowing what awaits at the bottom, throwing himself into the possibilities she proposed. He didn't plan to fall in love, didn't plan to feel anything about her, but there was a magic around this woman that left him dumbfounded, entangled in his own lack of understanding.

Every time he came across her, his heart dropped to his stomach, his palms sweated, and he felt an enormous urge to run away. He feared he had been under powerful Genjutsus the first few times, but Izuna confirmed it was simply... love.

After recounting the symptoms over and over again, his younger brother explained that is the exact sensation everyone experiences when meeting someone they like, the body's way of confirming attraction, desire for that person. He refused to believe it at first, but the more the situation was repeated, the more he finally gave in to accepting what he never asked for.

Madara does not have time for affection and love, he does not have the need of a woman in his bed nor does the political context demand an heir, so he tries to fight against the loss of control he feels every time he sees her.

(Y/N), without any effort, manages to make his knees go weak, to make him feel conscious about his appearance, insecure about how he wears his hair or what clothes he chose that morning. He didn't ask for these sensations, he didn't ask for these thoughts, yet the woman managed to infiltrate his heart and ignore all the barriers he raised over the years.

He found himself entangled in her arms, consumed by her kisses, occupying nights he should use to plan war strategies on her, between her legs and caresses, devouring her body and soul. Her presence managed to monopolize his every focus of attention, growing fear deep within every time he pondered the possibility of losing her.

What would happen if the Senju found out about her? If the enemy manages to get information about the woman the Uchiha Leader loves, the one he intends to share his life with? (Y/N) became an easy target since she entered his world, always unintentionally walking on the edge of danger. Several times she has explained nothing matters to her, that she just wants to be with him, to dedicate her life to loving and protecting him.

Yet, protection is the only thing Madara could think about.

He can't expose her, can't give her away to the enemy, can't abandon her to war and the possibility of being used to get to him. Under these same pretexts, he decided to break her heart into a million pieces the night before his next battle against Hashirama.

With all the regret in the world and feigning a convincing coldness, he asked her to move to the most remote part of the Uchiha compound, never to see her again. All his efforts went into keeping a serious face, the same expression he would use to speak to the council, erasing any trace of affection in his eyes. He had to lie, tell her she was only seen as a method of physical release, a hole to spend the cold nights with, nothing more than an object.

(Y/N) couldn't help her tears, breaking down in front of him, perfectly buying the facade he set out to maintain, not seeing the truth behind his terrible words. From that day on she stayed away, not on his radar, removed from any area Madara was in, fulfilling his wish.

As time passed, he forced himself to concentrate on what really deserved his attention, to fill his days with even more business than was already present, avoid thinking or having free time, thus coping with pain. Months went by, his metaphorical wounds continued to fester, and nothing managed to erase from his mind and memory the wonderful memories (Y/N) planted.

No matter how hard he tried, she was always there whenever he closed his eyes.

Nothing prevented them from meeting again, by chance, outside the compound, and the emotions it brought him were uncontrollable. Seeing her back, after so much time and events in between, sunk in the pressure of winning a seemingly endless war and up to his neck with anger and rage against everything, felt like a blessing.

Without thinking about what happened he clung once more to the light (Y/N) always provided in his life, consuming every last drop of love she had for him. He never managed to put his feelings into words, to explain to her how much he loved her, how much he felt for her, believing only his kisses would be enough to make her understand.

He never said "I love you", but always voiced an "I don't like you" when needing to get away.

His bubble of happiness burst again after he received a letter from Hashirama, pleading for peace between the clans, deeply questioning him by saying, "We don't want our women to get hurt." Not only did he feel anger and helplessness, but also realized the Senju were already aware of (Y/N).

That night of pain and breakups repeated again, Madara retelling once more how he doesn't love her and that she needs to get away from him, internally dying to hug her and beg her to forgive him for everything, to confess the deep love he has for her.

Still, the woman respected his wishes, becoming invisible inside the compound and disappearing from his sight, but this was not enough. Having her inside the Uchiha territory implied a terrible danger, and he had no choice but to throw her out of the place, to demand her to leave if she didn't want to die under his hands.

"Should you not depart, you little nuisance, I'll ensure your new home is hell."

His soul, bleeding from the agony of having to watch her leave again, of having to use harsh words and unreal threats because he knows she wouldn't go otherwise, cracks even more, a constant ache in his chest that makes him feel like he's about to have a heart attack.

He witnessed her gather her things and walk out the front door, abandoning everyone and everything, until she became an indistinguishable stain in the distance.

That hurt, that grief, the suffering of losing her again, was the fuel he needed to face the Senju for the last time, fed up with having to sacrifice everything good in his life for a cause that didn't even belong to him.

The founder of the clan had reason to stand up to them, but the generations that followed him did not. Madara is ready to make a change in history, to stop the senseless killings, the baseless violence.

Before the usual confrontation begins, the two most important hands in the world came together in a peace agreement, a future project to improve the lives of the two families. Of course it was difficult, but no Uchiha ever perished in battle again, no Senju shed their blood in the face of the enemy, and all found a common ground of agreement and understanding to live together peacefully.

The village was formed, populating quickly with people from all over, and among all the administrative and agreement problems, Madara failed to notice the presence of the person he cares most about in the world.

He bumps into her one day, unexpectedly, as he walks by with hands full of papers for Hashirama to review and projects proposed by the people, motions to be dealt with. His head is so tangled in political affairs and formalities he fails to notice when he collides with her head-on.

The reunion is both terrible and wonderful, past wounds opening and buried loves resurrecting, everything he forced himself to forget, all the feelings he had to deny to survive and protect her, exploding inside him like the time bomb it always was.

"You can't kick me out of the village, you're not the leader here." Is all she says before running off in the opposite direction, countenance full of anger and resentment, without any interest in talking to him or entertaining him with formal pleasantries.

Madara does not react in time to stop her, to explain, to rectify all the damage he did to her, yet when he finds himself sitting at his office in the Hokage's tower, he reviews all the village documents, discovering where (Y/N) lives.

That same night he goes to her door and knocks on the wood with a timid, reluctant hand, actions uncharacteristic of the Uchiha leader. He is greeted by a thoroughly pissed-off woman, nearly slamming the door in his face, but Madara is quick enough to put a foot in the middle and beg for permission to explain himself.

"Why should I let you in? After everything you said to me? Everything you did..."

"I... I was trying to protect you, guard you from them, I-"

"Protect me? It was you I needed protection from. You said way too many horrible things for them all to have been lies."

"I didn't mean anything I said, (Y/N), none of it was true, I had to get you out of the fire line-"

"Fire line, you say? You kicked me out of the safest territory I could be in, without any assistance, where the "enemy" could find me. In fact, they did, and fucking Senju Hashirama saved me from starving to death!"

At the statement, Madara can only stare at her dumbfounded, oblivious to all these details, not knowing what became of her once she disappeared. Sure, both territories were close during the time of war, but he hoped she would avoid the place she knew as hostile.

"You destroyed the life I knew just because of what was internally happening to you. If you wanted to protect me so badly, if you truly wanted to shelter me from danger, you would never have broken my heart like that, never have given me away as you did to a cruel and uncertain fate."

Madara can only cast his eyes down, grieved, even more dismayed by the situation and the result of everything he himself caused, indignant with his own actions and the terrible way he handled everything.

"I would appreciate it if you stayed out of my business, and let me live, finally in peace." She slams the door in his face, the Uchiha powerless to keep strength in his leg and stop it from happening, defeated and desolate, furious, hurt, all at the same time. His enemy saved his woman's life, the very one he threw away by trying to take care of, and now he must deal with it.

[mapplesand]

i'm gonna yap about Morbid Minds once again because i can but I just wanna talk about the themes and what I talk about in the story because it may be interesting idk

writing actual people and real life shit

what i try to keep in mind when writing the story is that I want to tell a realistic story about a bunch of weird teens and I will absolutly not shy away from every details that may be seen as taboo or too much

because i feel like we've seen a way too polished version of story about teens like come on, nobody is perfect let them be actual loser, let them say stupid shit, learn from it and do better, let's them be absolute weirdo and get smacked for it, god have you seen high school dudes, they're like fucking menace and they say weird shit all the time, why not show that

plus it's funnier to write character who will say and do unhinged things, why do fantasy writers get a pass in writing morally gray characters but suddenly it looks weird when you do it in contemporary fiction (yeah, i know it hit closer to home and you have to be more careful with what you write, but let's make story about weird people in modern days too you know)

putting outcast on the spotlight (and the neurodivergent experience)

and then there's the obvious reason why I called the story "morbid minds", the fact that I chose to write about character like Marco who are troubled teen, the kind that you wouldn't want to meet in real life, the kid teacher don't want to deal with because they think he's a lost cause

basically the abused victim nobody care about because they're not reacting the "appropriate" way for a victim, the kind that is actually violent and gets into fight, and I feel like people with bad coping mechanism and with a "difficult" personality are either not represented or demonized for having these emotions and not knowing how to deal with them, how about we gave those people a story that treat them with humanity for once

Marco isn't your typical main character because he's basically a bitch and a weirdo, there's a reason why people think he's a school shooter lol some of you guys would probably call him that too if you went to school with him (because we're all capable of being bullies in some ways) but I feel like this makes it more interesting to follow, I mean, people want flawed characters right ? so here you go, have a weirdo who likes guns and beating up people, who can't communicate or hate himself so much he thinks he's not worth loving, have that guy who stalks girls before getting hit with being bisexual and not knowing how to process that information while dealing with toxic masculinity, i mean you get the gist

also, my story relies a lot on neurodivergent and queer experience for example Marco has ADHD but the most notable one are Tristan and Tyler who are autistics

and again, even if we're getting more autistic rep (finally) we're still a long way from the variety of autism experience, that's why I chose to gave some space for my weird autistic and their weirdass special interest lol Tristan often forget that he exists and has a special interest on school shooting, the movie Elephant and had a huge horror phase (creepypasta, horror movies, gore) like of course he sounds more sane than Marco but that's mostly because he went through shit and had to be the bigger person in his own life or else everything would have fell apart, but he's very much as strange as Marco, he's the one that stayed with him after all

Tyler got the actual offputting autism, the one that makes you stare at people with a straight face, the one where people are scared of you because you never smile (but it's just your normal face) he's pretty blunt in all the wrong ways, doesn't social properly and never say the right thing at the right time, he has no shame when he's with people he trusts and can often break boundaries if no one tell him exactly what he's not supposed to do

and all those experience matter to me as a writer because they're all under represented in media because there's really not a lot of neurodivergent stories lol (and also it matters to me as i am also a weird autistic guy, i'm not pulling all of this out of nowhere, i share a lot of traits with Tristan and Tyler, hell even if Marco is the opposite of me he still react a lot like a part of myself that would probably be more unhinged if I wasn't just Tristan IRL)

related to the first point, talking about sex but not in a weird way

this may sounds weird as fuck but it's actually really not, i'm aware i'm writing a bunch of high schoolers but that's also the thing, if you've been in school then you cannot tell me you've never heard guys talk about sex, where are you from, another planet ? because i've seen shit in middle school when i was in 8th grade, and god this was a lot (guys in my friends group talking about hentai, i mean you know those things)

so that's why it's related to the first point, writing real life without filter, but what does that mean exactly ? well apart from not censoring problematic shit a 15 yo guy could say (and boy can a 15 say a lot of bullshit), there's also the fucking fact that Marco who is the main character is a porn addict like i can't just put it under the rug, he has problems with masculinity that leads to sexism and then he also watch porn to fill the void because he has depression, that's like, pretty basic experience actually, you don't know how many people fill the void with sex and stuff like that

when i say all this, it's not to be all weird, i'm ace and I think sex is stupid and everyone makes a huge deal about, so I decided hell, i'm gonna talk about it because it's just,,,, a pretty normal thing most people do, it's not a big deal, some people do that, some people don't, who cares, I think we should have less taboo about it just so people can communicate better, that's what i'm trying to do when i talk about sex in the story

it's just an open conversation between the characters, mostly about putting limits, the characters do get frisky here and there but it's never described, what i do is write the dumb shit it may ensure tho, again, because shit happens, you'll get cum on your shirt and here, you go a funny scene about dumb characters and they get a good laugh about it (and it's both a funny scene and a sweet scene in some ways), i mean it's that easy, idk if i'm clear when i'm rambling about my thoughts process there ?? it's just, man people do that and it's not perfect, let's at least talk about it so people feel less embarrassed about it

i'm improvising everything there, sorry if it sounds messy, but i wanna get back to the putting boundaries stuff, because i feel like it's important to show characters that are both talking about it and also being like "hey let's just wait you know" or stuff like that, it's so simple and i don't think we should make a big deal about it, it's just life and i'm putting it in my story, truly that's how i view it, even if the characters suck at communication they can't just do shit without asking and since they're all awkward about it they just need to fucking talk about it even if it's embarrassing and they don't even know what to say

anyway, let's not make a bif deal about sex, it's just sex, it's gonna happen sometimes, teens have sex, it happens, they just need to be able to talk about it or else it will lead to bad decision making and we don't want that in both the real world and in a story

i feel like i'm forgetting a lot here fuck, if I think of anything else i'll probably update it but I think that's already a big chunk of what i think is important about Morbid Minds and why I like writing it so much

[jiminsass-istant]

Colour : Jimin

I think about Colour : Freedom part of the photo folio a lot. It's literally my roman empire. I think about it at least thrice a day. (Contd.)

Perhaps I wouldn't think about it so much if it was just for an album concept. But we know that all photo folios were self directed. The members had full creative freedom and creative help. Jimin decided to show us 'parts of himself'. He called this particular look 'unrefined boy' and even compared this look to HYYH concepts. For some reason, Jimin has always been attached to HYYH, that album holding a very special meaning for him. Even tattoed 'young forever' on himself. I digress.

So they had full creative freedom to decide the elements put into this photoshoot. And one CANNOT argue that he just did what the stylists asked him to. Jimin won't let these elements into a photoshoot that shows sides of 'HIMSELF' if he wasn't aware of the implications. The lights, the symbolism, the outfits, the temporary tattoos, the props. I repeat, these photos are not for an album or a magazine or a song or a commercial. They're just to represent him. Some other members decided to do more conceptual/fictional shoots- jk with vampire aesthetic, V with vintage european aesthetic, jin with concepts related to sea. But Jimin clearly said he wanted to show different sides of himself.

Now one might say, he was just trying to show his 'gender neutral charm'. But there are so many ways to do that, instead of inserting obvious queer elements. We have other 'gender neutral' charm artists and kpop idols. He could have just shown the feminine and masculine sides, busts of artemis, apollo with gender neutral clothes. But he had to write 'free love' on his arm, and wear THAT t-shirt.

Same with the Robert Mapplethorpe pants in Like Crazy MV. He won't wear pants with some dude's face on it, for the title song about his own experience, for an album about his own self, and NOT ask the stylist about the face on his pants. The same pants that will be immortalised in Youtube forever in his debut title track MV. Jimin knows who that dude is. A 1-minute google search will tell you that Mapplethorpe was a well known celebrity photographer, famous for striking bnw photos and controversial shoots. Notable ones being - the one where he blurs the boundaries of genders, female and male nudes, gay male BDSM photography etc.

I remember how once there was massive backlash on BTS because one of the members was seen wearing a tshirt with the Japan atom bombs attack print on it with the text 'liberation of korea'. I might be wrong. But that made a lot of noise and even a BTS radio show in japan was cancelled. So you cannot tell me that bts members are not careful with what they wear, especially after that incident.

I know a lot of 'woke' armies said we shouldn't assume things about him. But..we aren't blind either. So I guess it's -

If you get it, you get it. If you don't, you don't.

We'll never get to see all the layers of his personality on camera and that's alright. And no, we'll never ever get to know any possible queer life experience related to him. (Keyword: possible) There are limits to what he shows to fans.

Thinking of putting down some more thoughts on the entire photofolio. I observed there's a story in it too. Maybe someday.

PS: I hope you realise that I'm not talking from a shipper perspective. That is about something Jimin is actively expressing, not about what fans speculate/analyse. This post is about Jimin and Jimin only.

Tags are only for me.

[2n2n]

Riffing off of my last post... I want to think about something! Or, introduce a thought....

first off, a magical spell to ward off evil. In your mind spins the image of the Yugi twins kissing peacefully, happy in their futon together... ahhhh! Okay... we resume now.

Perhaps this is obvious to some, but it might not be to others, so why not voice it.

I think valuing the gender of characters is your preference individually, there are preferences I have, too! Tastes, aesthetically, and such. But, to some extent, I think being rigorous and strict about avoiding say, 'male/female' relationships, or hating 'male characters', in the pursuit of loving queerness & loving women for example, can go a little overboard... ooonly in that, narratives are not always representing only what they appear as, and you can't be so sure what other people are representing in abstractions. This post is only for people who might feel sensitive about those abstractions-- if you don't have a care in the world, don't bother reading on...!

Here is an example, from a popular series many love. The Moomin novels are precious to me, I love the expressions of the author, Tove's, relationships and human experiences. Tove largely expresses herself through Moomin, a boy. She expresses her relationships with women AND men through that conduit. Ironically, the relationship between Moomin and Snufkin-- beloved by many!-- represents a 10-year love affair with a man in her life, Atos. While the story of Moomin and Too-ticky, is a representation of her relationship to her later long-term female partner, Tuulikki. I don't see fandom much explore or care about Moomin/Too-ticky, probably because it is M/F. I think that's kind of funny? I'm not here to make a judgement-- I write Snufkin/Moomin-- but, when I think about what people value in Tove VS what narrative they like in fiction, it's interesting that the real-life experiences influencing that fiction doesn't matter.

Meanwhile, a lot of female mangaka represent their traits through male characters. Arakawa connects to Edward Elric, and Yana Toboso projects a lot of herself into Ciel Phantomhive. While it's not stated as outright as all the other examples, I do believe Iro-sensei projects a lot of their personality into Hanako, and Aida-sensei seems to playfully draw Iro-sensei as Hanako, or embellish him with Iro-sensei's IRL habits.

We can look at a story like JSHK, and we can look at it literally as a story about ghosts and humans and such. Or, we can look at it thematically, and see a story about many, many more things we might relate to. Broad concepts of eschewing society's morals, strictures, or values (suchas Tsukasa), or following them to the point of pain (suchas Teru), who gets punished or forgotten and why, how to be happy in a world that doesn't care if you are happy (Hakubo, Sumire).... etc...

Hanako's struggle with Nene-chan, is that he cannot marry her, he cannot grow up with her, and 'has no future' with her. I would describe Hanako as chronically unable to conceptualize commitment for himself. At the start of the manga, this makes him a kind of playboy to Nene-chan-- flirtatious, harassing, but also closed-off. He sees his dynamic with Nene-chan as a temporary, short-term thing... a year of frivolity with a girl, something that can't 'go anywhere'. He can be capricious, but only because of a sense of hopelessness. This relationship cannot "go anywhere".

Much to be said about queer relationships being seen as 'a phase' in many cultures... something you do when young, but grow out of, moving into normative adulthood. I'm not saying that's the INTENTION-- but that you could happily choose to read it however you want, connect to it however you want.

I mean... gay marriage is not sanctioned across Japan... this concept of "a person you can play with a little when you're young, but never truly commit to" is a cultural concept there. It's interesting that when Nene-chan dreams, "I want to get married some day in the real world!", Hanako receives it as a rejection, and no longer plans to attempt to entrap her through bizarre, indirect circumstances.

Hanako can use strange, convoluted systems like making Nene-chan his kannagi, or binding her to him with the mermaid scale, to ensnare them together .... as much as you could uh, start a business with your lover, but perhaps not legally marry them. It's an interesting compromise, or as he says in Picture Perfect, 'I'm only using what I can'.

Picture Perfect is also about creating a fake fantasy world which fictionalizes everything into a saccharine and acceptable, normative fantasy one wherein Hanako is no longer a Mononoke, but the human, Amane. As Mitsuba says, "in this world, she can even marry No. 7!". What does it mean for Nene-chan to reject this sanitized, acceptable rewritten version of their love, & desire the haunting ghost, even with all of the foibles of that? She doesn't claim to hate the fiction, but it isn't the love she remembers.

The concept that kaii simply 'cannot access' certain aspects of society is interesting. This concept that humans engaging with kaii sincerely, are naive, short-sighted, and incapable of thinking of the 'big picture' is, too. It's childish of Nene-chan to chase Hanako, and others who 'know better' or think more 'realistically' chide or laugh at her for it (Akane, Teru, Mitsuba....). Mitsuba finds it funny that Nene-chan is so smitten with a lover she can't have for life. Mitsuba longs to be 'normal'. Hanako wants a 'normal' life for Nene-chan.

Just as well, however Amane or Tsukasa may have felt about each other, they were brothers. There is a limit to the level of closeness they can have. To put it bluntly, they can't get married, either, lol.

Amane/Hanako the entity may not 'have a future' with anyone he loves, as he may not ever have a proper, societally-acceptable love, with anyone. His love might always be something impossible to achieve-- the moon, out of his reach. That's an interesting trait for a main character.

I think it shouldn't be shameful or stupid or reductive to connect to Hanako/Nene, or Akane/Aoi (lifelong 'best friends'), or Sumire/Hakubo (who were hardly seen as people by anyone, their relationship's value anywhere from invisible to repugnant) .... we literally do not know Aida or Iro's relationships, experiences, we don't even know their own identities or personal lives all that deeply....! We don't know where they are writing or drawing from. But in that way, I think it would be doing a disservice to what you can connect to in a narrative, to presume it's only ever what it looks like on the surface.

For a great many authors & artists, we didn't get to know the greater narrative of their life until long after they died, and could reread their works with new context. I don't think people need to die for you to do that, though. If you notice a consistent theme, it might be intentional... or it might not be! You should have fun. You shouldn't worry too much about it IN-TEXT being wlw or mlm lol.... that's, just not how a lot of people choose to write their stories, even if their lived reality is exactly one thing. Even if there's not a deep reason, maybe it feels more fun or more playful to imagine oneself, a lesbian, as a nasty teenage straight boy. Maybe it even feels more 'real' but in a 'lol... tfw' way. Do you feel me on that??? Sometimes... I think things get a little too literal around the web lately in media analysis!!!!! I would love to encourage anyone who needs permission, to get a little less literal. I don't think you need to, imagine Hanako as a woman to make HanaNene appropriately lesbo vibes, or to justify yourself, a lesbo, liking it. You could be a lesbo and Hanako could represent the type of girl you are exactly. There are girls like that. I mean. Tsukasa represents the type of girl I am.... *paws out*

and aouhhhrho aoaaoouou disclaimer anyone can enjoy whatever they like etc etc have fun etc, live your life etc not saying everyone who likes XYZ is insecure or XYZ or should just blah blah or it's wrong to do blah blah write blah, this all isn't relevant to you whatsoever if you're happy and confident in what you like, proud to like it or whatever, this post is only!!!! relevant if you feel ashamed, embarrassed, silly, or dumb for 'seeing something' or relating to something 'not for you' or 'not there'!!! You don't know that it isn't there! You don't have to choose from .... the few same-gender options actually in-text. Or contort the canon around. You can see your own relationships in anything. Because people write their own relationships in a thousand ways.

My husband and I can write ourselves as two girls. As two girls and a boy. As two boys. As a boy and a girl. As two boys and a girl. As a boy and a nongendered thing. We do this obsessively. I wouldn't say any of these narratives are more or less accurate or true to our lives depending upon the genders aligning with our real life human bodies. We can be a thousand things, and we're still 'us'. We recognize 'us' in that which resonates.

[livvyofthelake]

i am currently experiencing the craziest high a human being can achieve just sitting on her couch i've just been taking deep breaths trying to chill out for ten minutes it's terrible anyway i need to Post about my friend alec. first of all he was there for me in eighth grade do not ever underestimate our bond i know i don't talk about him much these days and you might believe i don't really care about him but you have got to understand that my history with this fictional man runs deeper than any of yours and even when i had nothing i had alec. the bond a gay middle schooler who reads fantasy has with alec lightwood is completely indescribable unless you also experienced it but like. liken it to whatever you guys have with the angel from supernatural maybe idk. anyway the thing that has always gotten me about alec and magnus is that alec is a shadowhunter yes, but more than that he hates the government always. (i have problems with the show for reasons related to this but i am not talking about freeforms shadowhunters rn she is not my friend ok she is like my occassional late night hookup who hates me but the pussy is insane. sorry for that metaphor) anyway the way that at every turn magnus expects alec to be a Shadowhunter with that shadowhunter sense of duty and loyalty to their government and their way of doing things and their penchant for hero complexes, and at every turn alec is something different. because alec is someone who has experienced so many of the injustices of shadowhunter government and tradition, his parents were in a hate cult that they were manipulated into joining because of the ineffectiveness of their government and their desire to make the world a more just place, and they got out and were punished for it, and by extentsion their whole family was punished for it. because their governemt wants to show that it's all powerful and no one can go against it without facing life altering consequences. alec's best friend was raised by a man who taught him that being a shadowhunter was about hatred for demons, when really it's about love for humanity. alec is surrounded by people who have suffered at the hands of tradition, and he consistently turns away from it and doesn't let it break him or the peeple he loves. being a shadowhunter means having a duty to their cause, but to alec being a shadowhunter is about having a duty to the people he loves. in city of heavenly fire magnus is talking to luke and he says "sometimes it comes down to a choice between saving one person and saving the whole world, and i'm selfish enough to want the person who loves me to choose me. but nephilim will always choose the world" and later in the book when magnus belives he needs to sacrifice himself to save everyone he tells alec not to stay with him, and to go back to the world, and alec says "i don't want the world, i want you" and it makes me crazy and i think about it like once a week every week my whole life. he doesn't want the world! because the world without love is meaningless!! alec is a shadowhunter and he will always be a shadowhunter and a hero but there's no point to being a hero if there's no love... he doesn't care about duty half as much as he cares about love. and that is always what sets alec apart as a shadowhunter and as a leader, in queen of air and darkness (helena this is maybe a spoiler but don't worry about it it's not going to ruin your experience with tda if you know this) he gets voted as the new consul to represent the half of the clave that isn't part of horace dearborn's new hate group (shadowhunters always have hate cults it's like their thing it's like how americans have white supremacists. actually horace and zara dearborn are literally an allegory for trump, remember tda is a book series born out of the trump era, qoaad came out in 2018)

and the crucial thing about alec agreeing to be the consul was that he was NOT going to be a traditional consul. he was never going to do the ceremony and tradition bullshit their society likes to demand from it's government officials, alec saw his father get caught up in shadowhunter government and he watched him die for it and he would never involve himself in those traditions. he hates the inhumanity of shadowhunter tradition, that is literally the entire point of tmi and clary, the entire plot of those 6 books is that a group of young peple who fucking hate the government are instrumental to saving the world because their ideology directly contradicts the emotionless traditions of their leaders. alec is a leader because he is a revolutionary, not because he is traditional. that's what's so cool about it, he didn't just become the consul. he became the consul of a divided society and he is on the side of everything that is good and right and equal, while the other side wants to hide in tradition and rot away. that is the whole point!!! love is the point!!! being a shadowhunter is about love! they were never meant to be perfect stoic warriors, they were created out of love for humanity, they exist to protect people, to bring some level of peace to the world, and through time they forgot that, and alec (and clary) are the people that lead them back to remembering why they do what they do, why they fight this endless war, why they have to keep doing it. god. just truly one of the characters of all time. i need to just hit post now this is getting crazy

[deviantartdramahub]

So, DADramaNow, you're not just attacking Club purely out of ableism? Lol okay, lemme show you in more depth detail why we know that isn't true.

3 notes

Here they're making fun of Club bc he doesn't always understand sarcasm or humor. One of the most well known things about autism is that it makes you struggle to understand tones or social cues. That of course will be an especial problem on the internet, unless you use tone tags. This makes it clear they're making fun of one of his struggles he has due to autism. They're making fun of something pretty much all autistic people struggle with at least a few times in their life. In fact, it might happen to you even if you don't have autism, it's a simple, small, innocent mistake. The fact that they're making fun of Club for this is just malicious.

3 notes

You do know not all autistic people are "high-functioning", right?? It's called a spectrum for a reason. NO autistic person deserves to be made fun of for their ability, no matter how high or low it is. Even if Eduard's just a fictional character, it's messed up that you say this and not take into consideration he's not able to.

 1 note <- Here they say "psycho" is an ableist term...

0 notes <- But here you had no trouble calling Tri a "psychopath"??

Not only is it hypocrisy, but also looking pretty damn ableist.

2 notes

Here's them downplaying ableism just bc there's more than one oppressed group. Seriously?? Trust me, as a bi person AND an autistic person, I want both groups to be accepted. But trying to silence and downplay disabled people won't help with SHIT.

1 note

Maybe you should consider the fact he focuses on autism and incontinence is bc those are the things he has experience with?? He himself has autism and has an incontinent step-brother. Even then, he still attempted to include others bc he does truly want to be inclusive, I remember a post he made where he asked people what other disabilities they wanted to see included. I requested for him to introduce a dyslexic character, bc my sister has dyslexia. And guess what? HE DID. Because he truly does care. He just mainly does autistic and incontinent characters bc that's WHAT HE HAS EXPERIENCE WITH! YOU are the ableists for thinking autistic and incontinent people shouldn't be represented!

2 notes

Don't be so judge-mental on the poor kid just because he has incontinence and mind your own damn business, jfc...

5 notes

Club is NOTHING like that sicko you're talking about, they sound disgusting and I know Club would NEVER do something like that. (Unless those things you said are lies and Nightflight's just another innocent victim of yours, but idk. -_-

But anyways, saying all autistic people are automatically bad bc of that person is completely stupid.

 3 notes

Here they seem to be talking about disabled children like they're burdens.

3 notes

Another example of the 5th link.

 5 notes

They literally use "mister autistic" as an insult against him. They also full on say the r-slur without censoring it whatsoever.

Anyways, I'm sure, in fact 100% sure, there's more in depth proof their hatred of Club is purely ableism, but once again, DADramaNow does a shit job at running their group, and this is what Club's tag links to:

Not Found

So looking for proof was difficult, though I think I've gathered up enough, at least for now.

Anyways, pedophilia is a harmful stereotype pf autistic people, and DADramaNow is projecting this stereotype onto Club, bc they're very fucked up and bigoted people. There's no denying it now,Mod S and co.

Their unfortunate dismissal of disability hits even harder knowing many of them in their group identify as having autism. They don’t come off as it and don’t treat others with it kindly, which makes me lose incentive to acknowledge they may have it. It’s as if everything to them is a matter of identity.

[computerpeople]

@juvederm

HI.... THIS MIGHT END UP BEING LONGER THAN IT EVER NEEDED TO BE SO I APOLOGIZE

eckva net is a spin off series and expansion of the marble hornet universe!!!! it is technically a soft reboot of "clear lakes 44" but clear lakes 44 is ALSO semi-canon to the universe. it is tonally, in my opinion, VERY different then Marble Hornets, it has a more detached and very bizarre/non-linear feel to it, in my opinion. WHICH MH HAD TOO, but i think if you were to watch them back to back like i have been, you'd see what I mean

The series starts off as a series of recordings of old eckva network broadcasts being archived on youtube by "shelby hawkins" who has started picking up old broadcasts on a tv they have set up that shouldn't be airing anymore. we don't learn too much about shelby too quickly, but there are a few things. 1) they are immediately an unreliable narrator and either don't realize how much they know, or are purposefully lying about how much they know. and 2) literally everything is fucking targeting them. The broadcasts are messed up, and extremely personalized, and keep taunting and calling Shelby back to the house they're recording from.

We don't actually know TOO much about anything yet, sadly despite it going on since 2017 we don't really have a lot of content to go off of :( I'm very scared it'll be cancled, he was supposed to update sometime shortly after december and it never came, and he said he wants to focus more on the MH comics then Eckva. We don't actually know what is at the heart of Eckva Network yet, or why they're doing what they're doing, but from reading Louse, a fictionalized version of Eckvas history in videogame form, produced by Galloway Games, a game company OWNED by eckvanet, we can insinuate it is a company somehow connected to The Rot, a large mass that has existed since the begining of time and is looking to feed and grow and expand. It takes everything and chews it up and devours without care. Prolonged exposure to it can cause madness, in fact, pretty much anything related to it can cause madness and bodily harm/distortion. In real life, it is represented by static, rotting bodies turning to tv snow, you know, everything operator-like. the operator is, presumably, part of the rot. we don't know what kind, but i assume something specific. in louse it is shown there are multiple parts of the rot. the "love" of rot the "sound" of rot the "brain" of rot, i'm not sure what the operator is, but probably one of those. i believe shelby and tim are both either part of the rot or have been infected for so long they might as well be

right now due to eckvanets low content and story it is more of an experience than it is a full story or arg. but i still REALLY like it, im a sucker for haunted animation and haunted videogames and that's pretty much what this entire series is, plus it has a very very interesting and visually stimulating art style. ugh. i just love it

[oof-ouch-yikes-stripes]

I've been turning Mav and Hal around in my head and comparing them as protagonists in their respective works in my avian verse and I need to get some of my thoughts into words before I lose them forever. Anyways, minor spoilers for fics that I haven't published yet, lol.

When looking at them in their respective canons, they're similar in many many ways. Pilots, kinda cocky, kinda think they're hot shit, their dads died piloting and their moms kinda didn't care about them afterwards, reckless in a way that proves that they either don't fear the actions or the consequences, have a thing for characters that are so girlboss on paper but are mistreated by either the narrative, the characters themselves, or sometimes the fandom.

However, then you put them in Project Angel, and even difference experiences within Project Angel, and some of those traits either don't arise, arise in different ways, or fundamentally can't exist within the system as I've set it up.

Now, before I continue, I also have to establish that the existence of my avian verse is fundamentally to help me cope with Major Life Shifts. Project Angel represents a comfortable sort of stagnancy, something familiar but unhealthy because you've outgrown it. Bluer Skies, the Top Gun one, was written to help me understand leaving my hometown and going to college. As such, Mav doesn't necessarily want to leave Project Angel because it's all he's ever known, but he also wants to see what else is out there because PA is all he's ever known. On the other hand, Nesting Instinct is to help me cope with the fact that my parents now live two states away, and my hometown is no longer my hometown. Hal has seen the world as a human, and has an idea of what it's like to live as a part of a flock, and has decided that he likes Project Angel, as restrictive and Morningstar-infested though it may be. While neither of them chose to leave, Mav was taken unexpectedly and Hal was ousted. Suddenly operating in this new world that he has no knowledge of and no idea he wanted to be a part of is overwhelming for Mav, and being ordered to go and live amongst strangers for Hal is unpleasant and unwanted, but because it's an obligation and also because he has experience in a real world setting and knowledge of actual avian culture from Morningstar, it's less overwhelming and he takes to it better.

Now, onto the actual character analysis bit.

Mav survived Project Angel by essentially flipping it the bird. Despite all attempts to suppress it, he's just a guy who got a taste of freedom (flying, as regimented as it may be) and support (Goose), took to it like water, knew that that was his life's purpose, and immediately became annoying about it. He's allowed to retain a lot of his canon characteristics because he knows he's the best, he knows that he's an asset, and he knows that they can't truly punish him in any way that matters, because discharge doesn't exist for a guy who's analogous to an alien in Area 51 and he can't be corporeally punished for fear of damaging their weapon. He's naive to a lot of things, but also immune to a lot of social stigma at the time since the only people he had notable interactions with were Goose, who drinks respect women juice, and Charlie, who is a girlboss, and I will not let the characters or the narrative abuse her, so while Mav doesn't know about the capabilities of women in a combat scenario since that bias does extend to the avians they keep for training at PA, he does respect them for their talents in at least some disciplines. Goose is his main link to the outside world, and while he's plenty book smart, things like neighbors and kitchens and fiction are things he can only learn about through Goose, who in turn does try to tell Mav about a wide variety of things, but also is prone to the fact that his own experiences are only a fraction of the things to experience in the world.

Hal, on the other hand, didn't just grow up in PA, but also under Morningstar, who treated him like shit. Hal and Ice literally shared techniques for repression growing up. Ice was better at it than him, but Hal had to do it for longer, so he's on the same level now. As such, he never got to genuinely develop many of his canon characteristics, and instead uses them only when he has to Pretend To Be A Real Person, since in his head, a well-adjusted person is confident, outspoken, and takes up space. While Hal is self-assured in his abilities (he has survived up until now for a reason, and he's the one in charge of the other avians for a reason), he's not allowed to be the other two as Morningstar's favorite. His experience in the real world gives him a self-awareness that Mav can't possess, interacting with Ice and the other avians gave him a compassion that Mav can't possess, and living under Morningstar gave him an ability to lie and act that Mav can't possess.

By virtue of being plunged into a world he knows nothing about, Mav doesn't actually have that much agency, since he knows nothing about the history of the centuries-long war between Morningstar and aviankind that he's allegedly about to help end. He is told things, then forced to react to them. His main skin in the game is the knowledge that Ice was abused by Morningstar, and he likes Ice, so he's anti-Morningstar. Mav's story isn't his own, but the story of a very long war coming to and end, seen by a guy who's living life for the very first time and discovering that maybe the life he was living wasn't that great after all, and falling in love while he's at it.

Hal has all of the agency in his story, even if he's acting based on the pressure exerted by Morningstar's shadow over his life. He thinks he's the only one around who knows the full truth, and he's making choices to manipulate his targets, and only once he's freed from the burden of Morningstar does he start to then make choices for himself and what makes him happy. He has a defined goal with consequences if he doesn't succeed, unlike Maverick, and isn't necessarily converted by love, since he was only on Morningstar's side out of fear anyways, but knowing a live with love makes him able to resist returning to fear and makes him feel happy and safe for once in his life.

I think those are the major points, so I'm going to quit while I'm ahead.

[essskel]

okay i said i'll leave your inbox but i'm a very curious person and like to talk a lot BUT THIS THE LAST TIME I SWEAR i just want to specify and ask one thing.

i meant that i don't like when people label roche as a RACIST monster not if people hate him because he's pro-genocide (that's valid i hate him for that too). it's like 'i'll be mad if you ignore my blorbos flaws but i also get mad if you make him something he isn't' kind of thing.

besides if roche was racist he would actually be irredeemable. and if it's not obvious by now but i only like ves and roche for that reason. they're not motivated by racism despite their horrible job and they can you know work on their mistakes but other blue stripes are just...mehh. good that died i guess.

and this is why i'm curious do you think roche is racist? i got the impression that you're not sure.

Dw I enjoy your commentary!! Below the cut again :))

-> I do think that in the second game Roche makes it pretty clear that his hatred is for the Scoiatael, not non-humans, and by the third, his role as an oppressor is essentially dropped completely and written over. But then, of course….the Scoiatael are a group of Elves trying not to be killed and colonized because of their race. They’re standing up against racial oppression, Roche was fighting to keep them there - even though he or the writers don't see it that way. So … I’d personally agree that while he’s not a racist or a bigot in the classical sense, he IS a major aggressor in a racist institution. So, yeah to me that is racism. Idk, is a racist a person who does racist things, or someone who hates another race? …yes?

The writing is so convoluted though, that’s why you may sense hesitation from me when it comes to blanket statements. Roche isn’t a real guy, he’s written as a narrative, and I don’t think that it's meant to be one of a violent bigot, it’s that of a soldier who’s consumed and internalized every inch of military propaganda he’s ever been served. Racism is part of that, the concept is inseparable and we lose almost everything when people try to erase it, but the ‘is he racist or not’ debate doesn’t move anything forward a ton, to me. The answer to the question (which is yes to me), doesn't really solve the politics of the factional warfare, or how willing an elf would be to accept help from him - I think this is where motive really does matter (Geralt does trust him for a reason). I also think it somewhat flattens the intersection of poverty that his character has a lot to say about.

EDIT: I took out a paragraph about the scoiateal cause I was using in-universe explanations and that doesn't actually matter very much here. CDPR throwing in crazy war crimes for their oppressed people to be guilty of is not legitimate justification for further oppression, its just bad writing. The well-intentioned extremist trope does not equate grey morality. The internal politics and witcher-world rules matter very little compared to the real life implications of the narrative. Roche isn’t real but violent, racist, unsympathetic soldiers who got where they are through their experience with poverty, propaganda, and privilege are. Therefore the way that I talk about these characters should always be with that context in mind. Narrative themes and the statements being made by writers, that’s what I really care about, not so much whether or not a fictional solider would be classified in a fantasy world as being racist towards elves or not.

tldr maybe: I don’t think Roche’s actions are ever truly written to be motivated by racial bigotry, he wants to defend his country, that’s the core of it. But his character - or maybe just the Blue Stripes as a whole - function as a racist, a racist institution, and they represent real militarized racial conflicts. He's oppressing people, and he never lifts a finger to undo that. I think talking about what that means and where that could go (hopefully somewhere better??) is the best we can do with what we have.

[cienie-isengardu]

Woah. I know you did not post a comic in a fandom tag framing an issue that's suffered by actual real people in a fictional world with little to no basis in the canon just to angst about how much you hate a fictional character. Does someone really need to point out to you how that's poor taste? and making a mockery of the suffering of actual people? Karen Traviss wrote the fist gay couple in Star Wars who were Mandalorians. They don't care about sexualities. Get a clue.

Hello Anon,

I did not create and post the comics with ill intention to mock real people or their struggles, just used this certain scenario to show how narrow-minded Kal’s views may be hurting other vulnerable people under his care. If this comic offended anyone, then I sincerely apologized. 

However I do not agree that being critical (or even satirical) toward fictional character means I must hate them the same as I do not agree my latest arts are baseless commentary of Skirata’s behavior as the book series made a lot points about his, at best, casual misogyny and how he framed normality for himself and clones (or in general, men) as to have a wife and kids that, for from my perspective and experience, seems to be the ground for Fi’s depression in True Colors, going so far as expressing the willingness to be in potentially abusive relationship just to have any girlfriend (double highlighted by the fact that non-Skirata trained clones like Deltas, Maze, Corr or even Atin did not have much second thought about the need of romantic and sexual relationship with women to feel “normal”).

I’m really glad you mentioned the gay Mandalorians* brought by the same author because their existence is what makes Republic Commando’s narrowed narrative stands even more. The two book series were written almost at the same time - RepCom from 2004 to 2009, LotF from 2006 to 2008 and since characters like Jusik, Jaing & Venku/Kad could migrate to the “bigger galactic” picture of LotF while sadly, the gender and sexual neutrality of LotF!Mandalorians did not bring anything to RepCom, then coming to the conclusion that Skirata - and presented by him ideals or in general, book narrative - does not represent the typical mandalorian social norms is not that far-stretched concept (and again, comics and previous arts of mine has never made fun of mandalorian culture as a whole, only Skirata’s narrow mindset and was never “Kal would hate his sons for not being straight" but rather "Kal is not really prepared to confront the possibility that clones may not want this kind of life").

To not keep the text too long, I again sincerely apologize to those who may feel offended by my art but I can’t apologize for my interpretation of Kal Skirata’s characterization as it is coming straight from the books. I do acknowledge though that everyone is free to interpret the source material according to personal experiences and understanding of the presented situations the characters were put.

 (*and anyone old enough to be already in star wars fandom during Legacy of the Force book series release may remember how a certain group of fans lashed out because of openly homosexual Mandalorians but like always, fandom can easily become a toxic place , so nothing new here, sadly). 

[emilyryann]

Prudence: An overlooked virtue

Pictured above: A painting of a woman that embodies the idea of virtue, with a snake in one hand representing wisdom, and a mirror in the other representing clarity.

Prudence is one of the four cardinal virtues that Aquinas wrote about and I believe it is an often overlooked virtue. Prudence, as I would define it, is using common sense and having the wisdom to make a decision that is good for you and others, not just what brings a good feeling or happiness at that moment. To quote Aristotle, prudence is recta ratio agibilium or"right reason applied to practice." Having prudence requires one to have the wisdom to look at their own experiences and the experiences of others in order to make a reasonable and informed decision. Cultivating prudence is difficult because it requires wisdom, which is something that comes with age and experience. In order to grow in your own prudence you must seek the counsel of those wiser than you and those who have more experience. One can also cultivate prudence in their life by getting to know themselves better and reflecting on what is good for themself and what is not. That way when the time comes for decisions, you will know yourself and will be able to make a more informed decision. Anscombe writes in her article modern moral philosophy that "in fact rather generally it must be good for anyone to think 'Perhaps in some way I can't see, I may be on a bad path, perhaps I am hopelessly wrong in some essential way'" and I think the idea of self-reflection and logic being applied to every thought and action is what prudence is.

It is difficult to pick a role model for prudence because everyone is very flawed and often times people's flaws stem from a lack of prudence and an inability to use practical wisdom. I have chosen to look into the fictional realm in search of a model of prudence and a character that came to mind was Samwise Gamgee, the companion of the Lord of the Rings protagonist Frodo Baggins. There are many fictional characters that exercise prudence but I believe Samwise is a particularly good example because J.R.R. Tolkien writes his character to be a voice of reason throughout the novel. He understands what is best for his life and the lives of those around him. Despite some insecurity and irrationality from his companions, he fulfills his purpose. This may be seen as fortitude to some, but I see it as prudence because while he is completing his goals despite adversity, it is because he is making wise choices and using reason that he is able to complete his journey. Throughout their journey, Samwise is concerned with not only the struggles at present but the struggles to come and makes a calculated decision based upon that. This is a perfect example of prudence in my mind because it is logical thought and self-governance in a time of difficulty, and one who continues to make wise choices while having every reason not to is an exemplar of prudence.

As far as models of human flourishing, I think the virtue of prudence best fulfills the independent esteem need on Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Prudence is the ability to make sound choices for yourself and this allows for one to achieve success and well-being without depending on someone or something else to motivate you to make those smart choices. It is hard to fit prudence into just one category of human flourishing on any of the three models (Maslow, Seligman, and Galtung) because some degree of prudence is needed in almost every category. For example, in Seligman's PERMA model, you need good judgment to form positive relationships and to be able to find meaning. In Galtung's core needs model, you need prudence to make decisions to better your well-being and take care of yourself. I do think that prudence extends beyond physiological needs and survival though, it is a virtue that cultivates a higher level of well-being. You don't necessarily need prudence to have your physical needs met, you need some decision-making skills maybe, but not as a virtue. If one has prudence it allows them to make the difficult choices that allow them to grow into a better person. It is a clarity of mind that is needed as you develop self-actualization, freedom, and identity.

Pictured above: My placement of prudence in Maslow's hierarchy of needs and Galtung's table of basic human needs.

"Entering the forest" in terms of prudence is another difficult task. I think when we look for prudence throughout history we should look for the mundane people who made a difference not by surmounting great obstacles but by continuing to live and do the right thing for themselves and others. I think "entering the forest" for prudence requires one to enter not a war or major world event but at a person who listened to reason and made logical choices when faced with troubles. Prudence is a virtue that is not as often displayed in modern media, but it can be found throughout history in everyday people who do great things just by having practical wisdom when others do not.

Note: Underlined phrases are hyperlinked to web pages with more about that topic.

[sauntervaguelydown]

no no I want to unpack this a little actually

To get it out of the way, Ken is obviously pulling from pop culture signifiers of masculinity, and for better or worse, there's a certain type of man who thinks Fight Club/Scarface/etc describe the Real Secret Masculine Apotheosis that women are Keeping From You. So it's entirely likely within the fiction that Ken is wearing the mink because Reddit Film Bro says mink good.

On the other hand, how does the message of the two speeches compare? Tyler Durden has very specifically designed his philosophy around the rejection of consumerism, capitalism, and self. 1. Tyler Durden rejects the idea that purchased objects will improve your life or self in any way. You cannot buy your way to happiness. Life remains empty and unfulfilling no matter how perfect your house is. IKEA is the little death, etc. 2. Tyler Durden's ultimate terroristic goal is to destroy the records of debt in the banking system, plunging humanity (he imagines) into a creditless, moneyless society of hunter gatherers. Our brief glimpse of this suggests freedom on the corpse of modern life. 3. Tyler Durden rejects the self. Self care is out. Self improvement is out. Self destruction is IN. Within Fight Club, the goal is to strip off everything except the experience of the fight. Identity is left at the door, along with "whoever you might be on the outside". what remains is the body, and the act of conversation through violence. Later, within the Project Mayhem cult, disciples literally have no names. Finally, I want to tease out the fact that Tyler/The Narrator specifically suggest: "we are a generation raised by mothers. maybe another woman isn't the answer"

Okay so what about Barbie? This movie is a literal vehicle for consumerism--a toy commercial with high production values. It's also a movie about what it means to be human. It's about the contrast between having a perfect life/house/wardrobe and depression/dissatisfaction/existential dread. The solution to this dissonance is to leave the dream house and become mortal. Leave the world of signifiers and become a thing that dies. Embracing the ephemerality of human life allows for a more meaningful experience of it. When Barbie has this conversation with Ken, she is on the verge of making this commitment to her own mortality.

Kens in barbie land are defined by their relationship to barbies. This is not at all like real life for men and women, but it is the base statement about canonical barbie land. Within the mindset of Fight Club, this is actually more relevant--the men of Fight Club, like Tyler, consider themselves defined by women, and are trying to find meaning outside of women.

anyway. Tyler here is listing off things that one earns. They are signifiers of success. Money, cars, even the white-collar uniform of khakis, these all represent fiscal success in a very "making it" sort of way. driving my Lamborghini in the hollywood hills etc.

The things Barbie is listing off are not signifiers of earned wealth, though. Barbies & Kens are immortal, they do not earn wages or save them in a meaningful sense. Beach, for Ken, represents determination at birth--it's what's on his packaging, it's his role in society, it's his destiny as a toy. The mink, the house (I think she is talking about the aesthetic of the house, not the building itself), these are things that were obtained with little to no work. They are signifiers, but not of wealth. They are signifiers of masculinity, or literally "patriarchy" as Ken understands it. Which is to say, these are objects that confer upon Ken a Place in the World. They elevate him from someone who doesn't matter to someone who does. They give him personal value.

We can think of wealth, in the world of Fight Club, as also something that confers personal value. It is what differentiates men who don't matter from men who do. Men with cars matter. Men with good jobs matter. Men with money matter. Ultimately, even the difference between immortal kens and mortal men is the same: the desire to be someone with value.

The speeches Barbie and Tyler give mirror each other in this way: you are not the signifiers of value that tell an uncaring world "I am a person, pay attention to me". You already are a person. When you rely on external validation to prove to yourself that you matter, you've already lost the game. Being alive, the experience of being alive in this body, is truth; everything else is illusion. Tyler Durden says this because he wants you to find meaning through him. Barbie says this because she wants Ken to find meaning outside of her.

I find it interesting to compare Tyler Durden's radical methodology of self-destruction to Barbie's ultimate choice to become human. Don't get me wrong, Tyler Durden is a hypocritical cult leader who forcibly castrates politicians and Barbie is a literal children's toy. Obviously it's not the same. But they are both undergoing a kind of enlightenment through casting off the trappings of worldly success and therefore becoming... something new.

Maybe all the things you thought made you you aren’t really…you. Barbie (2023) / Fight Club (1999)