#i don't actually think he ever would be but it's funny and that's ask that matters lol
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Part 4 Logan Howlett x fem!reader Series masterlist
Logan isn't sure when or how it happened. It just…did.
He wakes up next to you every morning now. He falls asleep next to you every night. It's become routine, part of his day, as natural as if he's always been doing it.
Somehow, falling asleep next to you turns into cuddling, which then turns into late night conversations until you're both too exhausted to keep talking.
And Logan is…happy. He feels lighter, he's got more energy. Suddenly the world isn't the sullen place he always thought it was.
He convinces himself it's the sex. Convinces himself that's what has him in such a good mood. It couldn't possibly be anything else other than the sex.
It's his favorite part of the day now. He looks forward to lying next to you, to listen to you talk about your day. He just focuses on your words, on the sound of your voice, as he gently caresses your skin.
And he shares with you, too. Little, but he shares. He likes the way you pay attention, the way you actually listen to what he has to say. It makes him feel…seen. And it sounds silly, but that's how he feels. That's one of the many things he likes about you.
You're smart, you're sweet, you're funny. He enjoys talking to you so much, that the idea of going somewhere with you and just talking about anything and everything slowly starts to grow in his mind. It takes shape; he thinks of places, of times, of days. And he decides that an afternoon coffee with you would be the most suitable. Now there's only the matter of asking you.
And despite everything you two have done, this has him nervous.
He's antsy and jumpy as he walks up to you one day, hands balled into fists.
“Hey, bub,” he greets casually.
You turn to face him, eyes bright. And you smile and he's lost.
A little voice in the back of his head is insisting that a girl like you would never want him, that you're way out of his league. But he gathers his courage and pushes himself to ask anyway.
“So, I was wondering,” he says, “if you're busy today? In the afternoon?”
“Today? No, I'm not busy,” you reply. He sighs in relief. “Why?” you add curiously.
“I wanted to see if you wanted to go out with me? Like to go get coffee?”
You blink and his heart drops. She's gonna say no.
Is…is he asking me on a date?
You're pretty sure he did. At least that's what it sounded like. But he said it so casually, maybe he just meant it as friends or something?
“Um. Coffee?” you echo, grimacing internally. You sound like an idiot, but you hope Logan doesn't notice.
“Yeah, coffee. Or an ice cream, or…just, anything, really,” he replies, nodding. “I just meant if you wanted to hang out.”
You nod softly. “Well, yeah, it sounds fun,” you reply, smiling.
Logan offers a half grin in return. “Great. We could go into the city and just see where we feel like going,” he says.
You nod. “Yeah, great. So, it's a date.”
His grin widens into a smile. “It's a date.” He nods.
That afternoon, he takes you on his bike to the mall, enjoying the way you hold onto him for life. When you get to the mall and take the helmet off, he grins. Your hair is all messy and you've never looked more beautiful.
“I've got helmet hair, don't I?” you ask, pouting.
He hums gently. “A little,” he responds as he tenderly combs your hair some.
You grumble a bit. “I was all fixed-up and pretty,” you complain.
“You still look as beautiful as ever,” he tells you, studying your face carefully, just taking you in.
A soft blush coats your cheeks and he smiles, tracing your cheekbone with his knuckles softly.
It's almost odd to see Logan be this calm, caring, affectionate. But you're not complaining at all. If anything, you like it. It makes you feel wanted. He makes you feel wanted and safe.
You two walk into the mall together, talking and laughing, and he lets you pick the place. You end up in a cute café, cozy and quiet, sitting close together in a booth in the far corner.
Logan is more open than usual, still somewhat reserved, but he offers you more insight to his thoughts and feelings. He talks and laughs, and you can sense he’s different. Almost as if the weight he always carries on his shoulders is gone. He’s just a man, a happy man on a date with a girl he likes. He’s no longer that tough, hardened, hurt man that’s been hurt by the world to the point of no return.
The conversation flows. It’s natural, easy, and before you know it, it’s been hours of you two sitting in the café and talking. When night falls and it starts getting late, Logan takes you back to the mansion. With most of the mansion asleep, you two walk in quietly and it feels like you’re sneaking back in from somewhere you shouldn’t have been.
It’s not like dating between the X-men is forbidden, just…Logan isn’t the type for that and you understand that.
Logan leads you to his room and locks the door after himself.
She’s beautiful. Just standing there, staring at him with those gorgeous eyes…you’ve got him hooked.
He reaches for you, studying your expression, taking in your scent and the sound of your heart. It’s as if he’s seeing you for the first time. Really seeing you.
You, that puts up with all his bullshit, that stands him and his dumbass, that demands respect, that amazes him, that makes him feel like he’s not a complete monster…
What did he ever do right in his long, fucked-up life that ended with the amazing karmic event of you giving him a chance? What did he ever do to deserve you? He’s not sure, but he’s grateful for whatever good luck has befallen him.
He grabs your hand and gently leads you to his bed, his heart racing.
His heart racing? Is he nervous. Since when is he nervous about sex?
He tries to ignore the thought as he lays you down on the bed. Without a second of hesitance, he kneels in front of you, spreading your legs so he can nuzzle against your thighs. He kisses them softly, one after the other, as he pushes your skirt around your waist. He mouths his way up to your pussy, inhaling her scent through the thin material of your panties. He kisses your mound, his eyes fluttering shut. He just lets himself feel, lets himself do whatever he wants however he wants, focusing on you and wanting to give you everything.
Your breathing grows heavy, your hands move to tangle in his hair. He goes slow, every lick and kiss calculated and measured. There’s no trace of the animal here, no trace of that hunger that seems to take over him more often than not. There’s just…him. It’s just him and you in this moment, together.
He gently tugs your panties off and smiles, glancing up at you. He can see the look in his eyes and he recognizes the affection there. And, for once, it doesn’t scare him, doesn’t send him running off. It makes his heart skip a beat and his stomach flutter.
He eats you out gently, taking his time, just enjoying your taste and the way your body writhes under his mouth.
By the time you’re tugging him away, telling him you can’t take anymore, he’s made you come about three times. Smiling, he undresses and crawls onto the bed on top of you.
This time, there’s no screaming. There’s no headboard slamming into the wall or bed springs squeaking. No crazy positions or choking or spanking.
Logan fucks you slow, deep. His cock reaches every spot in you with a tenderness that takes your breath away.
Every deep thrust is punctuated by a groan from him, his breath hitching as you clench around him. He kisses your neck, mouths at your jaw. His hand caresses your cheek, his eyes on yours as he fucks you.
The gentleness of it, the soft care, the warmth in his gaze…it’s too much.
His fingers touch your clit and rub in soft circles, and it takes nothing to push you over the edge. You tumble, back arching, eyes rolling back. Your nails dig into his shoulder blades, your voice breathy as you whimper into his ear.
“Logan,” you whisper. “Logan.”
And he loses it. You’re not begging for sex. You’re not begging for him to go hard and deep, or for him to relieve you of your stress. You’re begging for more, for the one thing he shouldn’t give you and the one thing he wants to give you.
Your pussy clenches his cock tight as you come and he loses his train of thought. With a shudder and a low moan, he comes in you, spurting his release into your soft cunt. He’d forgotten the condom, but that’s an issue for another day.
He stays where he is, on top of you, and leans his forehead against yours. “Are you okay, bub?” he asks softly, nuzzling his nose with yours.
You nod. “I’m good,” you reply.
He meets your gaze and smiles softly. And, God, the way he’s looking at you…it almost looks as if not only cares about you, but like he could almost, almost…
Love you.
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a/n: I'm sorry babes!!! I can't believe this took me so long but omg, finals actually kicked my ass and I'm surprised I didn't have a breakdown lol. Buuut, it's finally here. Enjoooooy!!!
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Taglist
@nerrivm @rosiahills22 @d3vils-adv0c8 @thychuvaluswife @18lkpeters @daddy333 @e-nonsense @ch3rryblossms @ayamenimthiriel @thesecretlifeofmo @simming4sims @raideaters-blog @1cam8 @angelicbbsblog @giuliahowlett @lemonsquaredd @meadow-field @secretpandaconnoisseur @givenoutlaw @wunder-blunder @aredheadednerd @fictionalmen-dilflover @insanesociopath @m1cky-y-y @fictional-hooman @ion-even-know @znerac @steviebbboi @insanesosciopath @reidsworld @arrozconpepitoria @meadow-field @sir-thisisadndserver @wolviesgirl @rooroen @tezooks
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Blog masterlist
#logan howlett#logan howlett smut#logan howlett x fem!reader#logan howlett x you#logan smut#logan wolverine#logan howlett x reader#wolverine smut#wolverine#logan howlett angst#james logan howlett#james howlett#logan howlett fic#the wolverine#hugh jackman wolverine#wolverine x reader
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Ragapom headcanons:
I agree 100% with Ragatha falls first Pomni falls harder
Zooble and Gangle are always giving each other looks about how gay but oblivious Raggy and Pomni are. Sometimes, it's the other way around, and Ragapom ships Abstragedy instead
Pomni's favorite thing about Raggy is her voice and Raggy's favorite thing about Pom is her eyes
Ragatha is very careful with the fact that Pomni doesn't like to be touched but to the point where Pomni would get like "ok you are my girlfriend you can touch me more, I'll tell you if it's too much"
Pomni's touch aversion also makes her prefer to be the one that initiates contact, Ragatha would sometimes hover her hand over her Pom's cheek or arm so she will lean into the touch if it's ok
I read somewhere that Pomni's favorite color is red, so I hc that at some point Raggy complains about her licorice hair but Pom compliments it saying it's her favorite color
Ragatha has a piano in her room but she's not the best at piano, Pomni turns out to be great at music, they spend a lot of time playing piano and singing in her room, it becomes Pomni's favorite thing in the circus. Jax, who's room is right next to, hates it
Both think they are the "reacher" or that they want the other more than the other wants them, or that the other could do better than them. Jax, not knowing this, once tried to make them argue about who the reacher and the settler was, but it became a fight of "I love YOU more" "No! I love YOU more" and he hates it
Kinger ships it enthusiastically, Gangle is happy for them and thinks they deserve each other, Zobble gets a little second hand embarrassment or gets sick of them sometimes but ships them too, Jax is a hater and a troll, Caine never notices it, and Bubble makes censored comment and jokes about it
Ragatha is a lesbian but she was deep in the closet before the circus cause she clearly represses her feelings. Pomni is demisexual and bi
Ragatha actually gets flustered easier than Pomni, lovestruck Pomni when it comes to Raggy instead goes quietly awestruck and give the most tender, calm and genuine of soft smiles and stares
If Ragatha is ever sad or upset at Pomni, the jester gets full crawling on the floor, open the door to find her kneeling with a bouquet of flowers, Gummigoo at spudsy's panic mode
Anyway, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk
I am so sorry to answer this a bit late but please know I am eating every single one of these headcanons up, you're cooking so good with these ;v;
I specifically want to talk for a second about each of them thinking they're the reacher with the other, that's super good...both of them privately worrying if they're too much or not enough for the other, if they're loved as much as they love back. I feel like both of them struggle with feelings of inadequacy and being "lesser" to a degree so it would make sense that they would have these fears regarding each other as well. Hopefully it's something that gets talked out early in their relationship so they don't have to worry about where they stand with the other. I really love the idea too that (most of) the rest of their friends in the circus support their relationship so much (also thank you for the Abstragedy crumbs here too).
(Also the idea of an apologetic Pomni crawling to Ragatha on all fours asking for forgiveness is so funny to me, I am sure Ragatha can't stay mad at her for long lol)
#ragapom#jesterdoll#buttonblossom#jester tea#ALSO YEAH i absolutely thought along the same lines when i found out pomni's favorite color was red#i feel like pomni would love ragatha's hair and think it's super pretty and love playing with it ;;;
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sigh…. i have devastating news…. i have no tacopad hcs for Christmas!!!!!!(im crying this audio is KILLING ME)
and im STARVING for some tacopad for Christmas(not even a fanfiction for it. sighs.) so please if u can brainstorm some give tacopad hcs Christmas related or not?
not asking for tacomic bc it’s overrated rn all i need is tacopad rn SOBS
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Hi Nori!!!!^^ Welcome back, and thank you for contacting me!!!!! I can see you're having an emergency, so I am typing this as I am at the table with my family!!!!!!!! >:) (Mushy if you're reading this I was working on your Taco in iii au question when I got called downstairs ITS COMING SOON I PROMISE)
TACOPAD HEADCANONS!!!!! And we're gonna put Mepad alive in post-canon for more freedom!!!!! ;]
• Taco always keeps the door to her room locked, because it makes her feel safer. It works out, because Mepad can always just teleport himself in!!! If she's in there having a good cry, Mepad can warp in and take care of her.
• Taco and Mepad once laid down next to each other, and Trophy asked if it was Flat Fuck Friday already. Mepad had to teleport them away so Taco could keep up her non-violent streak.
• here's a holiday one!!! Everyone wanted to get a verrrrry nice present for Mepad after how much he helped them, throughout season 2 and during the finale. Taco and Toilet had to help almost everyone pick out their present, though, since they were the only two who knew what he would like. The others would resolve to get to know him better!!^^
• Taco could also emotionally support Mepad!!!! We don't talk enough about this, we including me. Mepad, in the finale, fully over came his obedience programming in the finale, he is feeling more than he ever has before!!! He is, for the most part, in charge of himself now. Taco has big feelings that she has trouble handling, and she's been fully independent for years, even if it was a negative for her. And she's working on listening to the people around her more!!!! She can help Mepad with figuring out what he wants (the correct answer is that he wants HER) and what he likes!!!!!
• they would end up under the mistletoe and get called out on it by Goo. Little guy loves love he'd want everyone to give everyone kisses because he loves all of his friends and wants them to love each other and be friends. Taco would not know what it means and Mepad would look it up for her. They'd end up having a whole discussion about it and other traditions since it's both of their first times actually celebrating Christmas. Goo would get bored after a few minutes and leave.
• Taco would get really into the dreidel tournament. Mepad loses early since it would probably be pretty hard to spin a dreidel without arms, so he roots for Taco most of the time^^ I think it would be really funny if it came down to Taco and OJ. She can finally beat him and get the (chocolate) money!!!!!
#inanimate insanity#ii taco#taco ii#loomy's answers#inanimate insanity hc#ii mepad#mepad ii#tacopad#trophy ii#ii trophy#goo ii#ii goo
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I'm sorry for the OC brain rot on main....
(the lines are from a post about "tag yourself: awkward/unflirty Sims edition" and honestly? all my OCs are awkward/unflirty so ... yeah...)
#my characters#they (my OCs in general) are not mine if they don't pine and fail at romance#and the fact one of the options WAS actually ask an inappropriate question??? deacon coded if there was ever something deacon coded#i have so many stupid ideas for ymber having the worst comments that he THINKS would be flattering in his head and then he hears it out lou#and is like oh no that was awful im going to be abandoned for that and i deserve it oh wow dang that was so bad#both of them are trying so hard to be supportive and learn about the other and somehow its working?#no one else knows HOW it works but ok buddy#like i saw a mug in a coffee shop that i DESPERATELY want to draw in the modern au i have#with Oh handing it to Ymber saying AH HA found a mug I can gift Deacon the next time you fuck up with talking to him#and then doesn't buy it but is thinking about it and then later that day Ymber says something v blunt and non flattering#and Oh just ARE YOU KIDDING ME I DONT HAVE DEACONS GIFT BC YOU SAID YOUD TRY HARDER AT THIS#the mug in question said#congrats on your breakup we hated him#and there were sparkles around breakup#and it was so funny to me i just .... thinking about how much Oh would love to give it to deacon as a sorry my friend is so bad at this#i really wanna draw more of the sims fail options with the others in the plot but hey i can post it on my side blog and spare you all here#i was thinking about a fanart idea earlier this morning and completely forgot it by the time i sat down to draw#gomen gomen i was gonna try to not do ocs on main but.... alas....
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Lmao a sudden headcanon pops out of my head. What if emperor awesome and Elora used to be exes?. Wonder what peepers reaction to that.
This probably
#i actually dont think that'd ever happen mostly because Elora doesn't even know who Awesome is until she gets acquainted with the Empire-#-who she met through Wander and Sylvia#but like?? if they were to have any sort of “thing” going on i feel like it'd be a Glomgold and Goldie situation (Ducktales 2017)#where he swears up and down they're toooootally into eacg other when it's actually heavily one-sided#<- which is pretty funny considering that Glomgold has the same voice actor as Hater LMAO#i uhh don't know where I'm gojg with rhis. im rambling sorry#nah but if they were to be exes i think Elora would wanna take that 2 the GRAVE#ofc everyone would find out and i think it'd be funny if Peepers was just like “WHAT. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.”#lowkey feel like he'd rub it in Awesome's face that HE'S the one with her now 😭 like LMAOOO LOSER I'M BETTER THAN YOU AND I TOOK UR EX!!!!#asks#might draw something w dis idea soon idk....food 4 thought ig?
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Well.
#(I'm back)#It was. Uhm. A chapter#First of all: I'm ENDLESSLY GRATEFUL to the person who sent me the translation basically as soon as the chapter came out.#I even did like 90% of typesetting but didn't finish it because I had to go out#(aka with my friends were literally knocking out at my room and I couldn't make it any more late lol)#Mixed feelings about it? Mostly because there's so much exposition... I'll need to reread it another three times before it sinks in#The color page is AMAZING 10000000000000/10 I love my sskks so much they're so cute I love them so much they're so cute.#Easily the best part of the chapter.#The color page was? Very very pretty too? Like a lot more than usual if you ask me! I can't wait for the volume cover 🥺🥺#It should come out soon shouldn't it? Usually color spreads / pages open the volume...#Akutagawa fake dying again is funny. Like it isssss but also. Idk it's a little lame how we're changing the pov from ss/kk again :/#I can't even tell if I'm being biased or if it's an actual storytelling critique. I don't care right now I just want to see Akutagawa–#being cool rather than. You know. Dead on the ground.#That said! It's also very funny and touches my sense of humor precisely.#Like yeah Akutagawa being like the second strongest pm member and overall one of the most powerful ability user in the world–#that everyone fears (and I know he is! He is indeed for real!)#And yet he always ends up face to the ground 😂😂😂 Like if we don't count the ss/kk fights he literally only ever won against Hawthorne.#And even then he failed to kill him and Mitchell. It's so funny to me. I love him. He's so pathetic#“Wow! Akutagawa is so cool and invincible now!” *ends up biting the dust not even two chapters later*#It's okay because I love him. He's very very powerful and he's also very very pathetic I love that for him#That said :/ I don't really care about Fukuzawa :/ Idk :/ Like :/#Don't get me wrong I LOVE Fukuzawa (I don't. I'm mostly neutral towards him) but this is the ss/kk moment man :/ Whatchu doin#That's about it. Let's see what the next chapter brings!#Everything accounted for I'm glad there wasn't like. A ss/kk kiss or any other big big ss/kk moment#(although Atsushi admiring Akutagawa and thinking about his eyes has its fair share of neatness to it!!)#Because with everything going on this evening I really would have been let down to miss it#But I keep hope for the next chapters!! Please...#random rambles#Had tons of fun typesetting! Even though I don't think there's a point in posting it now. But would love to do it again in the future!#bsd spoilers
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Of my 2% capacity to be attracted to anyone, my type is like 90% women, 5% pretty men and 5% men you would swear are super fucking manly, and never questioned being straight and cis, but are now suddenly *stressed* that they can't figure out why their attraction to me [fully socially interpreted as a woman and labelled that way up until relatively recently] feels incredibly fucking gay
#you are a straight man correct? Yes. Attracted to someone you view as a woman correct? Yes... But you are afraid that makes you gay?#Afraid is a strong word but also stop asking stupid questions#The end result is I tend to date a lot of men who either then realize they are women or bi or gay and I am there when they are taking out#the messiest parts of that on whoever they are with at the time#and on one hand it means I created a space that made them feel safe enough to self examine#but on the other hand I'm their last stop when the fallout hits#OR they just realize they find the expectations put on them for masculinity to be really oppressive even negligent or abusive#I would say I need to adjust my strategy and stop trying to 'woo' men the same way I don't actually -flirt- with women#but I have already solved this problem by refusing to date ever again#The retrospective is funny though#The problem is I am attracted to men in a gay way and to women in a gay way but no one tells you the consequence of that and looking#like a pretty butch is that it really confuses the straight guys#Like why is this guy who's usually hmmm... as dom and masc as you would imagine suddenly in my lap and red and having entire feelings#about the way I am holding his hip? He doesn't knoww either and he's really pressed about it#And that thing messy lesbians do where they act jealous of you and also like they want to fuck you at the same time that looks like a red#flag from hell? Imagine dragging that out of unsuspecting straight guys -menTM-#They don't know why they are acting like that around me either but it's going to go one of two ways#either it will seem overtly threatening and aggressive to everyone involved including themselves or they'll have enough social sense#and tact to be playful about it but still not be sure if they are flirting or whether they like me at all#I have patience for one of those and unfortunately[?] it's the guy who's in my lap looks like he's being tortured and can't find his footin#not the guy telling me how much he's going to beat my ass at some game and I am going to like it or some macho bullshit#And I will be oblivious for the first 50% of it#because if there are gods they are cruel#He never realized he's actually the little spoon be nice and give him a minute#He can't tell me he likes me if he doesn't know he likes me but I opened a jar for him and asked him about his feelings and now he's warm#I actually ended up never dating many women at all because of weird lesbian mixed signals and things#At least not while they were women#I don't flirt or make friends I just decide that people are mine and start taking care of them [while respecting their autonomy and shit]#and I am starting to think this is how I make problems for myself#yes I am playing 5-d chess with gender and am now a he/they but it is not what it is cracked up to be
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um. ickywars sweep?
this is how ickywars can still win
#in my defense i said to temper your expectations#believe it or not but i actually do like the ship and i think they could really have something if circumstances weren't different#okay rant time but warriors having an oc boyfriend is a common trope right? so often the boyfriend is a fellow soldier or a sheikah warrior#which. fair. but also THE FRATERNIZATION!!! HE IS A SUPERIOR OFFICER#which is why Warriors having a weird situationship with an agent of an enemy state is a fantastic alternative#pros: warriors is not capable of having a normal relationship ever. it's funny. the enemy agent is mean to him in a way he thinks is hot#they can have a fun little dynamic where they're teasing each other about treason and spilling national secrets#it would be fantastic#cons: NONE#like you don't even need to make it icarius#just go ahead and make this the common trope for oc boyfriends#i want this to be my cultural impact#me rambling#lu ctb#ask#linked universe#anonymous#ctb is a comedy
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just read a review of the lego movie from 2014 and it is genuinely a horrible piece of literature and through perusing the comments underneath the review, I have gained an intense dislike of the reviewer. it's not even that I liked the lego movie and he didn't it's just that a lot of the stuff he says is factually incorrect, really stupid-sounding, or he doesn't provide any real reason, and in the comments, he reacts to even the friendliest and politest constructive criticism as if it's a personal attack on him.
#listen I DON'T CARE THAT YOU DIDN'T LIKE THE MOVIE#I mean I'm slightly saddened because I did like it#but he straight-up says it's fully actual physical stop-motion animation at the beginning (factually incorrect)#then later says you won't appreciate the movie unless you like lego a lot and know all about it#specifically saying 'if you can tell the Lego Wild West town from its pirate ship from its spaceman set' (direct quote)#like um idk bro... are you saying you can't???#also this does insinuate that there is one specific set for each of these#which is also factually incorrect but I'm not really mad about that#and then in the comments he kept trying to defend himself by saying stuff about how the movie has a 90%ish rating on rotten tomatoes#and therefore 10% of people didn't like the movie#which is actually. an insane oversimplification of statistics. that's like saying if there are 10 children with an average of 4.5 apples#per child and each child can have a maximum of 5 apples#then 9 of the children must have 5 apples and the other 1 must have none#the 90% in fact includes a large number of people who rated it at 3.5-4.5 stars which is means a lot of them really actually did like it#and just didn't think it was the best movie ever ever in existence or maybe they just had some small qualm with it#the final straw was that someone left a very nice very kindly written piece of constructive criticism asking if maybe the reviewer would#consider saying what about the humor he didn't like (or what kind of humor it was) next time so that the viewer would know whether they#would like it or not as well and I read this and thought 'surely he will respond courteously to at least this one' and he said.#basically 'it's not that the kind of humor didn't suit my tastes. it just wasn't funny'#WHAT THE FREAK#WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT#ALL THIS GOING ON AND ON ABOUT WRITING A NEGATIVE REVIEW BECAUSE IT'S YOUR ACTUAL OPINION AND NOT BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO BE CONTRARY#BUT I THINK YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT AN OPINION IS??????#it's MY opinion that it was funny#it's YOUR opinion that it wasn't#you don't get to arbitrarily say that the only reason you disliked the humor was because it was 'bad'#even ethics aren't this black and white#there was another thread where a commenter pointed out that the reviewer seemed to assume there was such a thing as a universal definition#of a good movie and he repeatedly refused to explain himself. like in an 'are you stupid. this isn't worth my time' way#but I won't get into that
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I think I am finally In love
#this is kinda weird but whenever i had a crush on someone it was just like#i would only think about them when i was almost falling asleep at 4 am and during the day they mesnt nothing to me#and now i dream about him and i think about him during every period of the day#and when he says bye to me after class or just look at me and say “schmidt :D” or stands in front of me#in a line i have to hold myself so i won't start crying and hug him because we don't have inyimacy at all#and i miss it so much when we did every project together and everyday he asked me if i was allright and i should have told him the truth#and months ago he asked me to do a project with him again but that one friend of mine who i recently stopped talking with told him that#i was already doing the project with her#an obviously lie#and he never texted me again#and i have never been jealous but i noticed hes been talking a lot to her and he barely talks to me and he doesnt know she lies all the tim#about everything and he doesnt know i wanted to accept his feelings last march but i couldn't even get out of bed that would've hurt him#and i still think i would hurt him but i want him more than ever#and hes everything i want and everything i want to be and look#and he is smart as fuck and he is funny but never offends anyone with his jokes and he never offended anyone actually#he is the sweetest person to ever exist#and my mom and aunt adore him#and who doesnt?#it hurts so bad that he isnt in love with me again and i want to work out things and i want to be good for him#last year he dated like 3 people but hes been single for almost the whole year and if he starts dating someone again#before i manage to get better ill be so sad#and i need him i need him i love his thin arms and i need him to wrap me with then and i need to rest my head on his shoulder#and i want to play minecraft with him like we used to and i want him to know i like him but i cant do it all of sudden#i need to be friends with him again but i have no idea how#i need him to like#i changed so much in the last year he probably thinks im weird and stupid but he won't say it because he is the coolest person ever#and he is so pretty and i want to adjust his glasses and kiss his hands#and i want to ask him if hes ok too#and i want to make him feel better#and i want to sit next to him
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never would i have thought in a million years that i would get close enough to my boss that he would ask me to house sit for him
#chatterye#this is not incredibly uncommon in our dpt#i would like to stress this#but for me? insane#i think i was chose via process of elimination because i a. have no life (least likely to party out of everyone) and b. don't talk#which are both good for this endeavor#the way i asked no questions i was just like if you can get me there and back sure#whatever you want bossman idc#it was actually so funny but so awkward because we are the most awk ppl ever#n e ways that what i'm doing tmr and maybe seeing some dogs w someone else but isn't that crazy#that someone would get to know me and then trust me enough to sit in their house for them LMFAOOOOO#i'm lwky excited to see his house because like . that is so weird and foreign to me#i'm actually going to bet that he keeps his shoes on in the house i can feel it in my bones i hope not but i bet you#the fact that he literally went on a small hour long trip w me where i practically did not speak and then#went on to see me ditch him for 30 mins during work to grab coffee w my coworker the next day and still decided to ask me LMFAOOOOO#sorry i'm saying so much this is just so funny and surreal to me#now he has to write me the best rec letter of my life and of his career#you'll def see a nervous live tweeting here tmr while i'm over there#also i had the most fulfilling ubereats order in a while and it made me happy#i will never get ppl who don't enjoy burgers you're not better than the rest of us i promise#also i got their deep fried oreos for free and when i tell you those mfs were gas oh my god
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I really can't stand Gil
#Thinking about him for some reason tonight/this morning/esta madrugada#And like I can't stand him. It never changes lol#Someone else besides my cousin's girlfriend is now also reading PH because I asked#and between one and the other I'm falling again in the realisation of how much I can't stand him haha#I went into PH for the first time and saw him and thought 'oh he's neat. really pretty'#and just a few chapters later I couldn't stand the sight of him haha#Shittiest character ever. And I do love shitty characters often but the way Gil is in particular irks me a lot for some reason#I guess it's in part the narration and how hypocrital it is at times when it comes to him#Which would make sense with the ending if it weren't for the fact that I don't think it feels narrated by Gil at all until that very moment#Or not that I recall. I could reread to check again#Anyway... He is the favourite character of my cousin's girlfriend for now because 'he's very pretty and he is so kind and nice' omg#My attempts at keeping my dislike at bay were unsuccessful I think#One of the guidebooks actually brings up the topic about how shitty he is (I'm letting her borrow those too#so I'll wait and see what she thinks about it) which as I told Leigh was very validating#because this may be one of my most unpopular opinions of the manga? xD#On the other hand he was compared in that very fragment to Liam‚ who I also think was quite a shitty person despite how he is constructed#or at least perceived by the other characters as perhaps one of the best persons in the manga#Anyway yeah... Rereading these few first chapters because of being asked a question about them sent me into a Gil spiral tonight lol#Funny how it works like irl to some extent. I can't even perceive him as beautiful anymore‚ or not as I did at the very beginning#Despite how much the art improved#Although I think it's also his gestures#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#Anyway#Vincent prettiest brother among the two#Despite not being really my thing at all either#I mean#He's blond
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Too heavy for me? Never
LADS men reaction to you only somewhat joking about being too heavy for them
Sylus -
He'll raise an eyebrow at you, staring down at you as you realize the joke fell flat. You try to back peddle, not wanting to cause any confrontation that never helps you feel better about your body anyway, but he simply holds up a hand to stop you with a shake of his head.
"I don't want to hear it, sweetie. I already know the nonsense you're going to say. How about you just come with me right now to the gym instead?"
You don't know how to tell him that saying that truly shattered your heart into a million pieces, so you just follow him in silence instead. You didn't think he would insult you so casually, and you were now trying to brace yourself for the inadequate feelings and self-loathing you were about to experience by having to train at the gym with him.
But... he didn't ask you to do a workout. He didn't tell you to get on a piece of equipment or to lie down on a mat for a physical exercise.
He told you to sit on a small bench against the wall while he went to the free weights close by.
Wordlessly, he loads weights- two- no, three times your weight onto the bar, before moving to lift it. Once. Twice. Again, and again and again-
His eyes flicker over to you at some point, and instead of making any remark or reference to the emotions clear across your face, he flashes you a slight smirk, just like he always does.
"Have I made myself clear, sweetie?"
Zayne -
Zayne will definitely think you're just pretending to be stupid at first.
He will look down at you with his brows furrowed and a small smile creeping on his lips, thinking it's all a joke.
"I lift myself during my workouts fairly easily, and I am capable of lifting a lot more. Quite funny, though I wouldn't make this form of humor a habit. It isn't particularly good for your mental health."
Then he realizes you're actually being serious in what you're saying.
He's upset, to put it lightly, but hes trying not to let it show. Favoring a small frown across his usually firm expression as he studies your face. Your heart will jolt just a little bit when you process just how sad his eyes look though... obviously he's hurt that you would even think something like that about yourself, much less come to believe it as true.
"Allowing a part of your brain to lie to you is not healthy if you don't push back with the truth. And the truth here, is that you are nowhere near too heavy for me to lift or carrying, even for prolonged periods of time. To demonstrate-"
And like it's nothing, he's picking you up and carrying you. His destination is not important, and the protests spewing from your lips fall on deaf ears as you try to gentle squirm out of his grasp. He'll continue to explain why your viewpoint is flawed, methodically and with logic, and in a way that you find yourself unable to argue back.
He doesn't want you to.
He knows you're wrong, and he will stop at nothing to prove it.
Xavier -
He's more surprised at the statement than anything. At first, he thinks you're making a jab at his strength, and wonders if he slipped up in front of one too many Wanderers and now needs to prove himself just to get you to stop teasing him for being 'weak'.
Once he (quickly) realizes that you're talking about yourself, jabbing at your own body and state, rather than at him, it's like a spark igniting in him.
"What? What would ever make you think that? No- that's not right. That's not right at all."
He's immediately going to try and grab you to lift you up, he doesn't care where you both are or what you're doing. Even if you've just woken up in bed and are still relaxing, he's trying to pick you up right then and there.
He stumbles trying to lift you, falling backward onto the pile of blankets and plushies that has taken over his bed. He feels awful, worried that you'll take his misstep as him falling over from your weight, immediately apologizing and trying to sit up and pick you up again before falling forward from the plush surface he's trying to rise on giving out too much beneath him.
You're both a giggling mess by then, and it's obvious to you that he's going to keep trying to prove it to you, just... a bit clumsily so. Several more attempts will be made as the evening goes on, and pretty soon he's showing you just how easily it is for him to lift you up- especially if he keeps doing it over and over and over again.
And he will continue to do it over and over and over again, even after today. As many times as it takes.
Rafayel -
You definitely made a mistake saying anything self-depreciating around him. Especially with how much he likes to prove you wrong in playful situations, this is something similar, but a lot more serious to him.
He'll make fun of you for anything, as long as you know he's just being lighthearted even if he's grumpy or upset when he fires a quip off at you.
But the second you agree with him, or say something bad about yourself- whether jokingly or dead serious- the gloves are off. He won't accept that from you, and he's already on it to figure out how to turn the opinion you've formed of yourself on it's head and into a more positive outlook.
Lifts you up bridal carry while spinning- quite literally sweeping you off your feet while he whisks you away. You would think you were a princess with how he spins around his studio with you in his arms, with no regard to the paintings or projects around him as he dances with you in his arms. And no matter how hard you protest, he doesn't stop until he feels for himself that he's done enough, giggling the entire time.
"Are you really going to doubt a sea god's strength? Geez, I didn't realize you were such a rude human."
He'll hold you up enough to press his forehead against yours, nuzzling against you with a smile, the slightest sadness playing across his expression.
"Man, I must be pretty lousy that you would ever think something like that about yourself. That must mean I don't think to pick you up enough like you deserve. Don't worry, I'll make it up to you by whisking you away every chance I see you from now on."
#.writey#love and deepspace#lads#lds#x reader#lds sylus#lds zayne#lds xavier#lds rafayel#rafayel x reader#zayne x reader#xavier x reader#sylus x reader
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Rolling in here ninja style and posing--. Our friendship has grown so much within the past months Avalon but I really wouldn't have it any other way. Not when I am privileged to to terrorize Ren with obscene facts or other shenanigans my muse would drag him into. It was such a natural progression and I love it so much? I look forward to more chaos will create together in the future. Will there be more chickens? Mushrooms? Only time will tell. (‘’❛ - „)❀
SEND YOUR OPINION ON ANON
#anonymous#𝟎𝟎𝟏 : 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. ◟ ooc .◝#( SKJVK PLS I DON'T THINK I'LL EVER BE ABLE TO LOOK AT MUSHROOMS THE SAME 🤣)#( i love the asks you send even if ren would probably beg to differ )#( it's so SO funny how they're one of the very rare things that actually manages to break his composure )#( he's slowly being pulled into a genuine friendship against his will and i'm absolutely loving the dynamic that it's turning into )#( ALSO on an ooc level hello i think you're a very chill & fun person to talk to ninja posing and all 👉👉)#( & i've always really admired your graphics and formatting a ton!! i'm so in love w/ the sparklies... )
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need you - Chris Sturniolo
summary: after a lot of convincing, you finally convince your best friend, chris, to take away your biggest insecurity. being a virgin.
contains: fluff, smut, needy!reader, gentle!chris, virginity loss, a lot of praise.
-----------------└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘-----------------
i lay on chris's chest, as scrolls through his phone. my eyes fixed on his long fingers, swiping across his screen.
chris puts his phone down before looking at me. "y/n..." he speaks up with a small laugh,
i sit up off his warm chest, my back now resting against the headboard. "hm?' i hum in response,
"whats up with you?" he asks, fixing my hair.
"nothing." i fidget with my hands,
a lot was up, actually. my biggest insecurity is that i'm almost 21, and a total virgin. chris doesn't know this, the subject has never really been brought up between us. but i see him so often, and i've known him forever! it wouldn't hurt to ask him to take my virginity?
"i've known you for like- 6 years, i always know when somethings up." chris smiles, pushing my shoulder lightly.
"i'm okay- i promise." i laugh nervously.
chris stares at me blankly, his eyes roaming over my face. he knows i'm lying.
the silence grows as he waits for an actual answer out of me. i fidget with my bracelet, avoiding eye contact with chris.
"can i ask you something..." i whisper, finally looking up at chris.
"uh oh." he mutters,
"shut up- i'm trying to be serious" i scoff, chris reaches out and grabs both of my hands, holding them.
"you may talk to me" chris forces a stupid voice,
"you are such an idiot." i groan, throwing my head back.
"no- tell me!" chris cuts me off,
"okay, but you have to promise to not bully me forever- like actually if you say no to this i will rot away from embarrasment" i ramble,
confusion grows on chris's face by the second.
he nods, waiting for me to say something.
"im- i'm a.. you know?" i whisper,
chris shakes his head with confusion painted across his face, "a criminal?"
"no! a virgin- chris i'm a total virgin." i sigh,
"what does this have to do with me?" chris laughs, his cheeks a light shade of pink
"i want you to fuck me." i blurt out, clasping a hand over my mouth.
"what?" he responds, his eyes widening and his chest rising and falling dramatically.
"please..?" i whisper, avoiding eye contact with him.
he runs a hand through his hair,
"i don't want things to be weird between us y/n," chris states seriously,
"they won't be, it'll just be one time-" i protest,
"look- i think you're a very attractive young woman-" chris starts but i cut him off,
"you sound like my dad!" i whine,
he grabs my chin, making me look at him, "just listen- okay?'
i nod, he lets go of my chin.
"i want you to think if this is actually what you want- because i'm thinking that just is a desperation type thing." chris says,
"i'm not desperate, i just dont want to die a virgin!"
chris looks around the room,
"please- just one time?" i ask, he stays silent
"then we don't have to speak about it again- i just need you to fuck me once" i continue,
chris lets out a chuckle,
"what. is. funny!" i say with frustration laced in my voice,
"i never thought you would be begging for me to have sex with you" he grins widely,
i let out a laugh, "shush"
"c'mon- just teach me how to-" i ramble again, but chris cuts me off,
"okay- fine- lets just do it" he smiles, covering his face
i clap, "yay!"
he scoffs, "you're stupid."
"i don't care, so- where do we start?" i smile nervously,
he stands up off the bed and walks over to the door, locking it.
"um-- do you ever do stuff with yourself?" chris asks, walking over to me and standing above me by the bed.
"yeah." i reply, chris nods understandingly,
"like what?" he asks, i hesitate before answering,
“just stuff with my hands.” i say, fidgeting with my bracelet,
“okay- yeah that’s perfect! see your not a total virgin.” chris smiles at me,
i scoff as i sit up, cross legged on the matress as i wait for some sort of instruction.
“right- well.” chris stammers,
“you’ve done this before right?” i tease earning a flick from chris,
“obviously, i’m just not sure how you want to do this.” he rolls his eyes,
“i��ll do anything you tell me to chris.” i say, locking eyes with him.
“yeah?” he grins, reaching down and tugging up my shirt.
his long, cold fingers graze against my bare skin.
i feel the fabric of my shirt slide up off my body, leaving my in my dark red, lacy bra.
his eyes just roam over my body, his chest rising and falling.
“you’re really pretty, you know that?” he breathes out, tugging off his white wife beater.
i cover my flushed face with my hands, chris pulls my hands away from me.
“let me see that pretty face.” he praises, making my heart thump.
his hand snakes to the waistband of my sweatpants, he pulls them down my body, i lift my hips off the mattress for easier access.
he drags out each touch, his fingers just grazing over my bare skin as he runs his spare hand through his locks.
i lay bare on the matress below chris, the only thing covering me being my thin panties and bra.
“can i take these off?” he asks, tracing an outline along the outside of my panties.
“yes- do anything you want-“ i almost beg,
he tugs down my underwear, shoving them in his pocket nonchalantly,
“christopher!” i laugh, he shrugs cluelessly with a guilty smile.
“i better get those back.” i state,
“we’ll see.” he says under his breath,
he stares very obviously at my soaked core, i look at his crotch, which has a very obvious tent in it.
“so pretty.” he coos, finally reaching down and dragging his middle finger across my slit.
“oh chris.” i moan lightly with his feathering touch.
“so sensitive aren’t we?” he says with a smug smile,
i nod desperately,
chris removes his hand from me to tug down his black jorts, letting them pool at his ankles.
he tugs down his boxers,
my mouth falls open gently, my eyes fixed on his length.
he’s big, bigger than what i’ve ever seen in movies and shit.
my heart rate picks up, i sit up on my elbows.
“chris- chris that’s gonna hurt- that’s not gonna work-“ i panic, words frantically spilling out of my mouth.
he sits down on the matress beside me, clasping a hand over my mouth.
“you’re boosting my ego.” he laughs, taking his hand away from my mouth.
“no chris- actually that’s not gonna happen!”
he looks at me, a small laugh exiting his moth before he speaks.
“it doesn’t have to hurt, it might be a little bit uncomfortable because it’s your first time, but i promise that i’ll go super duper slow.”
god, the man who’s about to take my virginity just said ‘super duper’
“and if you want me to stop at any time we will stop, and take a break, then see if you’re still feeling up for it. if not then there’s always another day!” he smiles warmly, rubbing my inner thigh.
“yeah?” he follows up,
“yeah.” i nod eagerly.
he stands up, before tugging me to the edge of the bed, my legs dangling off the side of the matress.
he stands between my legs, rubbing my thigh continuously.
“you’re so gorgeous.” he sighs,
his erection rests against my thigh, making this all feel so real.
he reaches between my thighs and dips a finger inside of me quite suddenly.
i gasp, his finger is a lot longer than mine.
he curls it against a spot which is driving me crazy.
“just gotta stretch you out real quick.” he says to me,
it feels so wrong, so dirty. having my bestfriend of 6 years about to be inside of me, his words making me crumble. god- if he knew how long i have been wanting this he would kill me.
he slowly teases his second finger at my entrance before pushing inside of me slowly,
“chris-“ i moan lightly,
he bends over, hovering above me so our faces are face to face, so intimate.
my hand reaches up and grips his arm, squeezing it.
he scissors his fingers apart inside of me, stretching me around his hand.
“you- are so tight.” he breathes with a small laugh,
“can’t wait to feel you around my cock, already feel so good around my fingers don’t you?” he teases, i arch my back off the bed.
he slowly pulls his fingers out of me, “chris i wasn’t finished-“ i whine,
“shh- don’t want you to cum yet.” he smiles, wiping his fingers on my thigh.
he steps out from between my thighs, walking over to his bedside table.
“where are you going?” i pant,
he holds up a condom,
“no- i don’t want that.” i protest,
“we need it sweetheart, as much as i love you i am not getting you pregnant.” he laughs,
“i’m on birth control.” i state,
he looks at me, “oh- shit okay!” he bites back a smile.
he goes back between my legs,
“just gonna give you a little bit at a time, you tell me if it’s too much or too fast.”
i nod, he lines himself up with me.
i reach out and grip his his hand, holding it tight while his tip presses against my entrance.
i squeeze my eyes shut,
“look at me, take a nice deep breath for me okay?”
i suck in a sharp breath,
chris pushes inside of me,
his tip stretches my walls slowly, a pathetic whimper escapes from my throat,
jesus christ.
christopher sturniolo, my childhood bestfriend, is inside of me.
“good girl, fuuck..” he sighs, moving the stray bits of hair infront of my face away from me.
“you can take a little more, can’t you?” he breathes,
i nod, he pushes slightly deeper inside of me.
“oh chris- fuck!” i moan softly, squeezing his hand.
“taking me so well, so so good.” he praises, making me clench around him.
a low groan falls from his mouth as he pushes further, and deeper inside of me.
tears prickle in my eyes from the burning stretch, which chris seems to pick up on.
“hey- don’t get upset, you’re doing so good, you’re not a virgin anymore!” chris smiles
he pushes the rest of the way inside of me, “look at that..” he sighs, at the closed gap between our hips.
“you okay?” he says, wiping my watering eyes with a sympathetic grin.
“i’m- full.” i whisper with a small smile,
“i know you are, aren’t you?” chris grins, just resting inside of me, allowing me to get used to his length.
“can i move?” he asks, “yes- please chris.” i reply
he slowly rocks his hips back and forth, he hovers above my face, breathing heavily into my neck.
small groans and grunts fall from his mouth, straight into my ear.
after several thrusts the pain fades into pleasured
suddenly i feel chris’s lips connect with my neck, sucking on the plush of the skin.
he gradually starts to quicken his pace, “chris! fuck- fuck chris oh my god!” i arch my back off the matress
he reaches down where our bodies meet and brushes my sensitive clit,
“you feel so good, taking me so well.” chris mutters into my neck,
“you look so pretty with me so deep inside of you.” he whispers,
i grip his back, my nails running up and down his bare skin.
the intense pressure in my stomach builds with each thrust,
i look down, a clear stomach bulge is imprinted in my stomach.
that’s enough to tip me over the edge, i clench around him, finally releasing,
“good girl- so good, let it all go.” he says in between jolted breaths.
he thrusts a few more times before finishing inside of me, my eyes widen as i feel the warm sensation.
he stays buried inside of me as he flops down on my chest
his floppy hair rests on my face, as he buries his face in my neck.
i stroke his hair as i come down from my high, too stunned to speak.
“you’re so pretty.” he mumbles,
i let out a small flustered laugh,
“are you okay? not hurt or anything?” he mutters quietly into my shoulder
“i’m- good.” i giggle,
chris slowly lifts himself off of me before pulling out with a slick pop.
i groan from the emptiness, “mooreee.” i whine,
“you are definitely too sensitive for that.” he smiles, rubbing my thigh before walking over to his closet
he pulls out a sweater and some sweatpants before walking over to me.
he redresses me slowly, his eyes still roaming over every inch of my body.
he tugs on his clothes aswell before jumping into bed beside me, launching me a couple inches into the air.
he rests his back against the headboard before tugging me onto his lap quickly.
he presses a kiss to my forehead, “you did so good.”
i smile, resting against him.
a silence grows between us,
chris breaks the silence with a bold statement
“look- i’m just gonna say this, but i think i’m gonna have to be inside of you again at some point-“ he rambles
“i thought you insisted on it being a one time thing christopherrr” i poke his chest with a grin,
“i know- i know but please? maybe like friends with benefits type thing..” he suggests fidgeting with his hands
“i don’t want things to be different between us.” i laugh
“they won’t! i promise it will be the exact same apart from the fact.. you know.. i get to fuck you..?” he protests
“weren’t you teasing me an hour ago for ‘begging to have sex with you?’” i giggle,
“okay but that was then- this is now!” he whines
“fine chris, we can fuck sooometimes.”
—————-
this taglist is actually getting insane
@sturngirly @stellasturnzz @beccaluvschris @iammattsturniolo @issysh3ll @mattssluttygf @sturnslcver @arianatheway @mattybsgroupie @sturn1ololuvr @tisiablack @jessie-essie @demzzz
@downbad4reid
sturnsdoll @obvisturns @stupid4sturniolo @meerkatzthings @witchofthehour @rosalierenee43 @gabrielle-brun1 @ilovemymannnnnnnn @sturnioloxlver @buckys-goodgirl @sturniol0s@ilovemymannnnnnnn @chr1sgirl4life @luanetaluenta @sturnsssbow @mattfangirl @luvr4miya @luvtay111 @lolasturniolo @freshloveforthefit @ruedowney @lovingchrissposts @333michelle @h3arts4harry @jamiesturniolo @chrisstopherfilmed @itzdarling @ @daddyslilchickenfingers2 @ev3rgreenxtrees @certifiednatelover @solarsturniolo @mattsenthusiast @yomamaslays4lyfe @peachmels @alinaa131 @pepsiluvr0209 @creamoncreamoncream2 @szobofc @mattscoquette @blahbell668 @sturniolo04 @bitchydragonparadise @sturni0l0 @ratatioulle @sturnsfav @mattsonly @justalittle47 @sunsetsturniolos
@sturniolo04 @similartokayyz @sturnsintrouble @ilovemattsturn @raysmayhem-72 @75sturn @sturniol0s @secret-sturniolo @hfkeclnendmwodne @sturniolosass @gxldenlush @stonermattsgf @101sara @beccaluvschris @oliviasturniolo21 @imwetforyourmom @tylerstacobell @sunsetsturniolos @aliceloveschris @jayz4dayz4 @sassysturniolo2008 @nyktoxs-lover @nathandoesgf @starsturns234 @chrissturnsss s @joemamaaa42069 @sturnthepot @zayyluvz @realuvrrr @livialifesblog @sturnioloblogs @riowritesitall @raysmayhem-72
#sturniolo#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo x y/n#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo angst
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the fine and subtle art of arguing with old men
it was a good week for testing which meant it was a slow week for me. most of my job is fixing the machine when it goes down. if it doesn't go down, i don't have much to do.
fortunately neither did marc. in a site full of ornery old bastards, he's the oldest and the orneriest, so it goes without saying that i enjoy spending time with him. he reminds me of my grandpa. hell, he reminds me of a lot of people. i've befriended enough grumpy old men that i've got a sort of momentum to it now - you know how it is, when you meet someone that reminds you of someone else you really like. you get to start that friendship off half built, because you already have an idea of how to like that guy, and some of that old warmth can be brought to the new friendship. a little ember to start the stove up with.
(i think that's one of the really undersold beauties of getting older. you stop viewing people as strangers and more like remixes of friends.)
anyway, i was sitting next to marc and we were talking about the future. i've got my eye on having kids sometime soon (year or two? hopefully?), and he's very happy for me. i've tried asking him for advice, but all he says is that he didn't do a great job with his own kids and they still turned out okay, so i should stress less and trust myself more. i hope he's right. he believes it, at least, and it's a hell of a thing to have the faith of an old man. his faith is hard won.
as for his plans, he's retiring at some point in the next six months, and is hoping to sell his home and buy something in florida. he's republican, so he views the state as paradise, and i'm not inclined to even try talking him out of it. it's his dream, you know? i know for a fact my paradise would be a lot of people's hell. life's funny like that.
still, we kept going on, and it was a good time, and then he reminisced about the last time he got close to quitting - back around 2020. our job required getting vaxxed, and he refused, and there was a big kerfuffle about it before the job actually backed down. i know there's not a lot of sympathy for the unvaxxed out here, but the man's 62. you get the shot when you're under 30 to protect the people around you, but when you're over 60, you're just getting it to protect yourself and it's hard to be mad at someone for kicking their own ass.
still gave me pause though. i knew he wasn't going to take it well, but half the job of collecting curmudgeons is keeping them around, so i said
hey. i'm sorry they bent your arm over it, but.
but.
you should really get that shot.
and he looked over at me, and i looked at him, and he actually spat. not on me, just the concrete, but it was enough to show that he was mad. then he walked away, as abrupt as anything.
i felt bad about it. i wasn't sure what i'd expected, when he was willing to lose his job over it before, but i'd been so invested in his dream of retirement - the idea of him sipping margaritias on a beach next to his wife, the wife he calls every day during lunch, the wife he says is the one thing in life he ever got right on the first try. the wife that almost divorced him back when he was in the airforce because he just wasn't home enough.
(but he can be home now.)
and then he mentioned the vax thing, and it was like seeing a pin hit a balloon. he works out every day and takes all sorts of crazy vitamins and is generally committed to getting the most out of his pension and his life. i didn't want this dumb weak point to be his achilles heel.
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i wasn't actually sure how long marc would be mad at me. i've seen him stay mad at some people for weeks. i wasn't sure if being friends would make that time go up or down.
it went down. i'm glad it went down.
he stopped being mad about two days later. we were doing front end maintenance one morning, and it was just that simple mechanical rhythm - hex key, replace the anode sheets, punch some off-gassing holes, oil it up, put it back in - that put things at ease. it always does. people working there are too busy to remember grudges, and it has this sort of mandatory practical communication that helps smooth things over. it was going great, and then out of the blue he said babs, you gotta be careful giving advice. those shots come with complications. what would you do if i got that shot, had a stroke, and died?
and i don't know what answer he was expecting, but i just told him the truth, which is that i would be devastated. i'd feel like i killed him. i thought that was a pretty normal response, but he looked taken aback. he asked why i said it then, and i said i'd have felt the same if he died of covid. that's just life. sometimes, there's no way forward that doesn't risk some kind of regret.
we finished the tube after that, in a silence that felt heavier than peace but lighter than anger. it felt like the ball was back in marc's court. like it would be rude to take that turn from him.
we parted ways with a nod and didn't speak until the next day.
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i was doing spreadsheet work when he found me again. standard paper engineering - thinking of things we might need and ordering them in batches, months ahead of time. it always feels a little like plugging holes in a dam with my fingers.
but he popped up, and we didn't even exchange pleasantries. he just said i'm gonna die one day, and you can't blame yourself for that.
which is a hell of a thing to just tell someone right off the bat.
so i said what
and he said babs, i am in my 60s. something is gonna get me eventually, and whether it's covid or heart disease, or a stroke, there will be something you could have said or done before. and that's okay. it's not your job to make me live forever.
and you know, he actually made a lot of sense. so i said
okay.
i'll keep your business yours. i just
you were talking about your retirement before this. and i want that for you very much. you've worked hard for 45 years, and you deserve a break. we're getting to sick season, and it would be the saddest fucking thing in the world if you got this close to winning the race then tripped in the last ten feet.
and we sat there a few moments longer. i wasn't sure what to say, and i wasn't sure what he'd say, but eventually he just shrugged and said
yeah
then he left. i figured that would be the end of it.
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i did front end maintenance yesterday, after being gone a week. it's one of my favorite things to do. i like working with my hands. i really like working with my hands. i'm glad i went to college, but in a different life, i think i could've made a better electrician than an electrical engineer.
and at one step, when we were both hoisting the plate back onto the machine, his sleeve rode up, and i saw two bandaids on his arm.
we finished the install, and i was ready to go back when marc actually stopped me.
i got the shot, he said, almost embarrassed. like he'd been caught. and i knew he was gonna say something dumb about it, so i just cut him off by giving him a hug.
i was relieved. hugging old men is kind of like picking up cats. if they like you a lot, they'll tolerate it, but that's about it. we sat there maybe three beats before his hands went up, and then he gave me one overly-hard thump on the back. in my experience, this is how old men tell you that they're done, so i let him go.
carla talked me into it, he said, almost defensive. his wife. his one good decision.
tell her i said thanks, i said back.
trump got the shot too, he said, less defensive, but oddly pleading. like he was consoling himself.
like he was nervous.
then it's gotta be safe, i said, and he looked up at me, strangely searching, strangely vulnerable. i don't know exactly what he was looking for, but i guess he found it because after a few moments his shoulders relaxed.
yeah, he said, one hand on the back of his head.
it's gotta be.
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