#i don't actually go here i just think they're neat
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
25 in 2025
Sigh. I've been bullied. I guess. I did a big swing and a miss on last years list, but I have a Plan this time. A Theme. A Goal. This will be mostly comprised of my Illumicrate books so I can decide if it is in fact worth it to keep my subscription going until the Alecto edition gets announced. If I don't actually enjoy the majority of the books in these boxes then what's the point, yknow?
So here's this years color key:
Green - Carry over from last year (not carrying over every missed book, which probably means I should just get rid of them huh)
Purple - Illumicrate books
Blue - I own these in physical form, but they're not from Illumicrate
Labyrinth's Heart by MA Carrick
The Faithless by CL Clark
The Art of Prophecy by Wesley Chu
The Jasmine Throne by Tasha Suri
City of Bones by Martha Wells
Witch King by Martha Wells
After the Forest by Kell Woods
Voyage of the Damned by Frances White
Of Jade and Dragons by Amber Chen
The Phoenix Keeper by SA Maclean
A Dark and Drowning Tide by Allison Saft
Until We Shatter by Kate Dylan
Mistress of Lies by KM Enright
Hammajang Luck by Makana Yamamoto
A Sorceress Comes to Call by T Kingfisher
The Bone Shard War by Andrea Stewart
The Last Hour Between Worlds by Melissa Caruso
The Spare Man by Mary Robinette Kowal
He Who Drowned the World by Shelley Parker Chan
All Those Explosions Were Someone Else's Fault by James Alan Gardner
The Tainted Cup by Robert Jackson Bennett
The Spellshop by Sarah Beth Durst
Can't Spell Treason Without Tea by Rebecca Thorne
In the Ravenous Dark by AM Strickland
A Conjuring of Light by VE Schwab
PHEW. Okay. A fw things to note. A Dark and Drowning Tide is an Illumicrate book, but I didn't pay for it. A friend gave it to me after I skipped that month because she wasn't interested. I always look up book spoilers and skip if I'm not interested and if I'm uninterested in any of the stuff I'll skip even if the book seems neat. That month the box was full of fandoms I didn't care about, so my friends said "here, take my copy" and I said "yay! Free book!"
The Last Hour Between Worlds I think was also an Illumicrate book? They do fanart for it so I assume it was at some point. I did not get it. This is not the IC edition. I was not thrilled about The Tethered Mage so I was going to get this out of the library. Then my mom bought it for me for the holidays. So yay! Free book!
I think I would also like to keep track of books I purchase this year. I'd like to cut down on buying books that I won't love. So I'd like to utilise my library more. Win win, I think! And that seems easier than a full out ban since yeah sometimes I do enjoy little treats! Books purchased for other people do not count, obviously.
There are also some books I'd like to reread this year, mainly The Bone Maker because I've been saying that since I read it the first time. And honestly, I've been chasing the same vibes and haven't been able to match it (Godkiller got close!).
As usual, I reserve the right to pretend this post doesn't exist, but I think I've set myself up for success here :)
I don't know who hasn't done this by now @logarithmicpanda ? Have you?? Consider yourself tagged >:3c
oh right I was bullied tagged by @bigcats-birds-and-books
#bookbird babbles#tag games#books#booklr#25 in 2025#would also like to read that donation pile but ive been saying that for um. ten years i think.#nyoops........#illumicrate put out their survey and asked how many books youve read from the boxes and im like DO NOT CALL ME OUT LIKE THIS!!!!!!#I UNDERSTAND ITS GOOD DATA BUT!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!#so im gonna fix that#also i realised it bugged me seeing 'never opened never read' iin the IC buy sell trade groups lmao#why spend this money if you dont want the book?????#and then i realised i was part of the problem :(#so i will fix that thanks <3#also also. their price increased and im mad about it#i really just want to be here to get first in line for alecto sobs#if they even do a matching alecto#i feel like they will theyve done later series installments before#and theyre also very good at making sure people dont double dip! so if you got the first book you cant get the firstr second book bundle!#ALL THAT TO SAY. HERE YOU GO AL I DID THE THING
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm still going to finish this at a later date
BUT
I've been stewing on this a bit and here's just some general thoughts
so I will say at the top of the order how this has made me really want two things separately
1! an electro swing musical. I have not ideas for it other than I think it would be neat (dead ass might add this idea to the two other musical ideas I've had cooking that will never happen cause I don't actually posses the musical chops to write something original which I guess yeah know what, in all fairness, at least this dude WROTE a musical. It's not a good one, but it's still more than I have written which is none so---- I mean good for him all the same.)
2. I really want a greek myth as a musical
cause this is such a fun idea, music and musicals can be so grand and layered and--- ya know, EPIC
but this just isn't it man
ALSO may I point out of fucking buck wild it is to NOT have a greek chorus in your musical about the Odyssey????????????
LIKE---- LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS HAS A GREEK CHORUS BUT THE MUSICAL ABOUT A GREEK MYTH DOESN'T?!!?!?!??!
and here's the thing, okay----
if the gods are gonna be hanging around, you could've let them weigh in greek chorus style like they're a family around the tv watching the big game or their weekly drama
OR EVEN BETTER, and here's where I bring up another grievance-----
SO---
they really fucked up the narrative order of how the odyssey is told. Which is crazy, especially since looking at it now, it's just striking me how like--- really well put together the narrative order of the original play/poem really is
Like okay-- originally it opens on Ithaca and Telemachus and Penelope are like
'wow, the trojan war ended 20 years ago, sure sucks dad never came home, wonder if he's dead'
CUT TO the island of Ogygia where Odysseus is crying on a beach and Calypso is like 'omg that's so hot how you cry on a beach, I'll never let you leave'
and then some by standers are like 'Wow dude, you're kinda pathetic' and Odysseus is like 'YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHO I USED TO BE!'
and then he tells them all the crazy journey stuff and they're like 'whoa, that's crazy, ya know what, we'll help you sneak off the island' then the rest of the play happens
and like------
I don't know why they changed it in the first place but also like----
That would've been such a good greek chorus??? Like-- a bunch of people around the fire listening to Odysseus tell his tale????? and occasionally chiming in????
AND HERE'S THE KICKER
Then Odysseus could've been part of his own greek chorus!!
LIKE----
the time between the end of the war and him returning home is 20 years! There's no reason you can't double cast Odysseus and have like-- an old man Odysseus and a young man Odysseus and he can like--- COMMENT AND WEIGH IN ON EVENTS HIMSELF LOOKING BACK???????
and then like-- when the past finally meets the present you can have old man Odysseus and young man Odysseus take over for each other like how the different Fiona's do it in 'I Know It's Today' from Shrek!
Or-- and I forget the name of this musical cause I never actually looked into it but there's this musical about a couple meeting, falling in love and then splitting up, but it's told like--- one of them is telling the events beginning to end and the other is telling them end to beginning and there's a point in the musical where both parties meet and like--- IDK I NEED TO LOOK INTO IT CAUSE IT SOUNDS AMAZING CONCEPTUALLY
but that's beside the point, POINT BEING
I really want a greek myth musical now, but like----
one that's actually good....
it's called Epic, but it doesn't FEEL Epic, ya know???
BEAR'S EPIC BLOGGING
so I already feel bad for the anon who asked my opinionated musical theater ass to look into Epic.
Gonna attempt to keep my thoughts succinct and all on the same thread/under read more--
but with that said if you wanna avoid this all together, which is very fair, I'm gonna be tagging this as bear's epic blogging
with that all said DOWN INTO THE CUT WE GO
So right off the bat I will say the musical IMMEDIATELY looses points cause the majority of the songs are 3-4 minutes long
I'm very much of the mind set that all big feelings and plot points SHOULD have a song, but the issue with a lot of modern musicals is that they think all songs need to be 'song' length (so about 3 to 4 minutes long)
they're wrong and I think my favorite example of how to do 'give a feeling a song but don't let it over stay it's welcome' is I guess this is Goodbye from Into The Woods (side note if you saw disney's movie of this musical, I'm so sorry, that was insulting, go watch that PBS recording with Bernadette Peters, she's amazing)-- it's about fairy tale characters, this is Jack of Jack and the Bean stock fame and this is the moment he's saying goodbye to his beloved cow in exchange for magic beans. This is a big moment for Jack and is the driving force for his actions for the first half of his story so it's important, and since it's an important beat in a musical, we sing! -- for about 30 odd seconds and then we continue with the plot cause we have A LOT of story to get through.
And on the note of A Lot of story to get through---
SO-- I'm a broke bitch, so how I experience musicals is I read through the plot summary on wiki, and as songs come up, I listen to the song.
This approach is especially apt here since there is no stage production and low key THANK GOD cause this opening number is actually pretty bad as opening numbers go.
But put a pin in that cause we'll come back to it, NOW--!
I actually gave the wiki a dry read before putting music into anything cause--- well, admittedly it's partly curious but also low key uh--- so I'm not as Hot on The Odyssey as everyone else seems to be? It's a story about a captain who gets mad lost, and losses most of his men, and cheats on his wife, and yeah I GUESS it's an epic tale of his journey home or whatever but like----
I feel like it puts a damper on things when you take some details into account--- like how it's mostly just HIS journey, fuck all the dudes he brought with him I guess. This ain't about them meme. Also 'Her white arms round him pressed as though forever' does loose some cache for me when I know cha boy like---- full on cheated on his wife on the way there. He never gave up coming home! Buuut he did take a break to get laid and loose a lot of his men on the way.
I know it's like-- cunning and he out smarts the odds and blah blah blah but like-- he's still an asshole ya know??
So I was curious how they were gonna spin this, so I read the wiki. I still have not finished the wiki cause HOLY SHIT this thing is long. I know it's supposed to be An Epic but like--- I feel like things could've been stream lined SOME. ESPECIALLY when the songs are 4 minutes a piece BRUH.
I'm going to try and have an open mind here but the odds are already against this thing from word go.
BUT OKAY, the opening number.
I know it's not a stage production but like---------
If you're gonna call something A Musical, on some level you have to treat it like one.
A lot of musicals lately seem to want to REMOVE the theater aspect of musical theater (god forbid we have some incidental music or like------ A THEME or anything)
At the start of this I'm already missing the sort of Establishing Song that's in a lot of my favorite musicals.
Or I guess I should say like--- the establishing melody or stanza or something. Not all of them are full numbers but they help set the stage (sometimes literally, fucking the way the Beetlejuice musical has all it's pieces like light up or roll in and just like the scene fades in MWAH glorious I DROOL)
But yeah, Prologue: Invisible from Beetlejuice, Overture from The Producers (which I only just realized has a bit of Prisoners of Love in the full version WHICH IS THE SECOND TO LAST SONG they really said MEDLEY! with their whole chest lol), Little Shop of Horrors from Seussical the Musi--- JUST KIDDING IT'S FROM LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS, No One Mourns the Wicked from Wicked, The Ballad of Sweeney Todd from Sweeney Todd (2012 London cast my beloved), Seasons of Love from RENT, Alexander Hamilton from Hamilton (which say what you want about Miranda but DAMN this musical is so efficient and well crafted ARGUE WITH THE FUCKING WALL) HELL, EVEN HOLD ME, BATBOY FROM BAT BOY THE MUSICAL
Ever single one of these starts with a song or a bit of music that sort of Vibe Checks the audience into the world we're gonna be living in for the next 2 to 3 hours and if they don't also act as a whole on establishing number (aka a Welcome To This World song or Here's The Start of The Plot song) then it's the very next number in the show and usually follows IMMEDIATELY after
(Opening Night from the Producers, Rent from RENT, The Whole Being Dead Thing from Beetlejuice, Aaron Burr, Sir from Hamilton, No Place like London from Sweeney Todd, AND Downtown/Skid Row from The Little Shop of Horrors MY BELOVED, HAZBIN HOTEL FUCKING WISHES SHE COULD BE YOU SO BAD, MY BEAUTIFUL FLAWLESS, DARLING!!! {okay but seriously Happy Day in Hell wanted to be Skid Row so fucking bad but she tripped over the starting line and broke her neck, deadass. Though to be fair Hazbin sweetie, you never stood a chance, Skid Row does SUCH an AMAZING job introducing it's world, establishing it's characters and their wants and feelings, No One can beat it. THAT FUCKING PART WHERE THE BUMS ARE CLIMBING THE DAMN FENCE LIKE FUCKING ZOMBIES you live in my head rent free! You and the lady who starts the song-- DAMN! Sing it child INDEED.})
But yeah, back to Epic.
I'm not going to hold the fact that it doesn't sound like Full Musical Theater deal against it since it's basically a handful of people headed mostly by One Guy (there is no pit, there is no orchestra, it's not a whole ensemble of singers), but I WILL hold the fact that it basically doesn't have an establishing number at all at it's start against it.
No Vibe check, no settling in, just BAM! In medias res! Hey dude, I know you're in a war right now, but you gotta kill this baby dude, trust.
It really did just smack me in the face with it's plot. (full palm)
AND THE FACT THAT THIS IS GREEK MYTH LIKE-------
HELLO??????? GREEK CHORUS??????? WHERE ARE YOU GREEK CHORUS??????? GODS AND OR MUSES???? OUTSIDE OBSERVER TO TELL THE STORY THAT COULD'VE GIVEN US A PROPER ESTABLISHING NUMBER???????? THAT CONCEPT IS /LITERALLY/ FROM GREEK MYTH?!?! ESPECIALLY SINCE THE GODS ARE APPARENTLY ALREADY HUDDLED AROUND WATCHING ANYWAY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
like.......................................
Like I said at the top of things I literally feel so bad for that anon. They probably did not know I am Mad Opinionated About Musical Theater but I am. And they did not know the land mine they stepped on by low key suggesting me to give it a listen.
Unfortunately I am Anton Ego here. I don't LIKE musical theater-- I LOVE IT.
THIS ALL BEING SAID---
I will say I think a saving grace for me during this is that Jorge Rivera-Herrans has a pretty solid singing voice.
It's very modern musical pretty boy which I'm not the hugest fan of by I can def see why people want to draw a face to match it and/or apply it to their blorbos and ocs.
This ride is already starting out bumpy for me, but my butt's probably just sensitive, so take my bitching with a grain of salt.
Also know that just cause I'm complaining doesn't mean I hate it. I complain about Blush Blush all the time in the discord and I basically spend most of my free time doing shit on here so--
Alright, I'm gonna get through a few more songs before I tune back into yap some more
I'd say stay posted, but like--- maybe don't I'm always a complainer when it comes to modern musical theater <XD;
#bear's epic blogging#also fuck this play's name and it's main character's name they are NOT dyslexic friendly lol
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
............. how the fuck do you write characters who didn't grow up together
#im trying to have ros////ali thoughts. it's not working.#i don't actually go here i just think they're neat#okay i USED to go here. i have fic for them that predates the anime. but i have nothing to offer anymore ;-;#unless i commit to the role swap zesty au#either one of them#v#ar#zes
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
me: *seeing people yell about how they did Glintshore & Percy's death in the show*
also me: ..................anyway
#maybe its because its been fuck knows how many years since i watched 90% of c1#but i actually find the way they're changing things up super fascinating#i have questions to be sure and i think they're all having so much fun watching people go THEY'RE NOT GONNA PERMAKILL PERCY ??#(they're obviously not going to leave percy dead)#but because so many things have been folded on top of each other to keep the pace in this several hundred hour campaign adaptation#idk! i just think it's neat! obviously we're not done with ripley yet so we'll see what happens there#also people being like “i didnt need a sad backstory for ripley” like that wasn't the most obvious vehicle to introduce the assembly#a lot of these scenes they're adding in or folding together are doing a LOT of work#the storytelling action economy is honestly astounding#like don't get me wrong i get why people are weirded out by it (i am too! It's strange!) BUT it's not being done carelessly#some of you lot just want everything done 1:1 when they simply do not have the time to be doing that#i think i might do a full write up of how impressive some of this is when the season ends bc it really is a mammoth task they've had#the legend of vox machina#tlovm#legend of vox machina#critical role#c1#vox machina#lvm spoilers#tlovm spoilers#edit: to be very clear. i have been here since the very beginning. don't fuck with me lmao
124 notes
·
View notes
Text
ಥ‿ಥ
#God this episode is so so good.#Tachihara sweetie I'm sorry I never talk about you. I swear I love him so so much he's an amazing character. I love his story and conflict–#so much.#This arc is peak bsd writing / meta literature plot. The tearing page moment is insane. The sentiments expressed here are so–#deep and emotional. The theme of the ordinary man. God and the force of human spirit.#Fighting against one's own destiny and finding the reason for own's existence. It's all subjects that are so interesting to reflect over–#and they're elaborated on in such a cool and compelling way. I love Dazai's quote on the strength of humans who–#“are caught in the tempest of contingency and scream‚ run and shed blood” so much. It moves me deeply.#The animation was really neat. A lot of detailed sequences. The wind was animated beautifully. The colors were so pretty and the stained–#glass visuals still go so hard.#Again I love Tachihara's conflict so much!!! I'm so into tachi/gin too... I know it's more of a Tachihara x oc since. Well.#We know little to nothing about Gin. But there's still so much spice to it... What do you MEAN Tachihara stabbed Gin !!!!!!#I'm so into the drama. AND the kind of relationship born from the big brother complex™ they both (may) share. AND the work partners.#AND the hiding their true identities to the other. How could I not love them...#Still believe season 4 should have ended where episode 11 ends but spreading it all in 12 episodes to allow it all better pacing.#I really think this season is great but the pacing really is its weakest point.#Of the sky casino arc they could have made a movie if they wanted to. Or just a cool arc at the start of season 5 that can work too!!#(((and not put ch 84-88 at only ep3. And then animate it grossly. But that's another talk.)))#Anyways 100000/10 what a good episode. This really was peak B/ungou Stray Dogs. And Akutagawa isn't even in it!!!#random rambles#Very hot take but I don't think Lucy should jump off a sky casino for a man. Sorry#My feelings for atsu/lucy are so fluctuating. I could write a whole other tags rant on it.#Actually I will
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
yeeeah that's the good kush
#just want to sit in this moment; marinate in it a bit#i just love when they talk about justice and vengeance and morality and just stare at each other a little#(them at their most two/six tbh)#it's just a very evenly matched discussion and it usually doesn't actually go anywhere - neither of them convinces the other of anything#(at least at this point) but i like that too because you still see the effect they have on each other's thinking without spelling it out#on the other hand...i don't have a lot of 'wish they-'s for this show (ok that's a lie i have many)#but one of my most....personal? niche? idk is i wish there had been some sort of jane-lisbon bottle episode#(i wish there were many jane-lisbon bottle episodes tbh i love bottle episodes)#where they're just like...stuck somewhere together and they spend the whole time debating red john and justice etc etc#idk i just think it'd be neat#(and ok yes maybe it'd be even better if they were stuck somewhere like a closet and after the debate they're left with that tension#plus the tension that naturally comes when two people who kind of want to jump each other's bones get stuck somewhere like a closet)#but anyway---#tm#(wow i used the word ‘just’ like 17 times here huh)
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
it's actually very mean that i can't have emojis of my ocs just on my computer. i just think it would be much more convenient for when i have to say the Guys are in my brain but i also have no words..
#just me hi#i'm thinkin#and i mean like standard emoji. mostly bc artstreet dms don't let you put up actual images so i have to resort to detailing actual thoughts#Hfbshfv#//anywho so whenever i'm outside by myself i always get the Strongest urge to just start walking and not stop forever hfvhs#i will just Go#no objective no location. but i will be Moving#i Would do that but in order to get a satisfying amount of distance between me and People i have to walk down the road and mm i am nervous#abt doin that fvhsbh#like country roads... i may not come home.... south virginiaaaa hfbvsfhbsv#plus everyone drives crazy out here. when we moved out here we almost got sideswiped by a funkin fedex truck over a little hill#and of Course it was a fedex truck man. we've Never had a near-accident with Any usps trucks hfbvshvs#oh and also the local mailman drives like a maniac too <3 almost had a head-on collision once which was. neat lmao#like maybe 20 feet from slamming into each other which Is Not Much when you're in a car bfh#/Also people just let their dogs run out wild n crazy and :( i don't think they're properly trained to be letting them do that Aha#rode my bike out once with my brother + two of the neighbor's dogs tried ta jump us it sucked#now we don't go past their driveway so we don't ride out very far#//also hey our driveway is Ridiculous ??? ik we've been living here for like 2 years i'm still not over it lmaoohvf#it's like a 40-45 degree angle this is just silly#and listen i'm barely figuring out how my legs even work again. do you think i'm having a good time up that hill because i'm nOT#though you know what it's fine ! not many people come up our drive bc geez why Would you lmao#except for that one lady that asked for directions and then miiight have gotten lost again immediately after leaving HH#//okay. yea anyway the p1nk space is really in my brain rn hbfhvs#really i don't think i've ever been so interested in a project before this is so cool lol :D#marveling at the fact that anything was able to keep my interest for longer than 5 months Hbsh#//anywhoodle do i'm gonna skedaddle#prolly gonna rerun a couple things in a seccy but ye :33
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Chiropractors near you:
(continue your art journey today by looking at this cool murkrow that my friend drew!)
#okay i did a nice blendy rendered piece now back to lineart and block colours-#even though that forces me to Think Harder kshkhh#(I like this brush though!)#I Will learn how to Colour using Solid Textured Blocks#its one of my fav art styles#one of my friends does colouring like that and its just the best#[their blog is ambathy-arts - go look at their fashionable bird people]#actually im just going to link one of their pieces in my description#its My Art and I can yell about my Cool Friends here#anyway here you go bracken lovers. come get your juice#lethal company#lethal company fanart#lethal company bracken#what are other tags artists use? this is a nice standalone#art#artists on tumblr#(ironically im not even that much of a fan for brackens lmao)#they're still neat#but listen. man. they have killed me -so- much#im dying out here.#my neck is apparently sooo snappable and I don't like that at all#people can't know I have a weenie neck :(#in video games that is#my irl neck is so strong and brawny and cool you can trust me#(do people read these tags?)#you should cause you need to know about the beautiful friend art#but you can ignore the neck stuff#if you want that is#im not the boss of you#(edited the face shhh)
73 notes
·
View notes
Text
SSR Deuce Spade - Liongarb Voice Lines
Liongarb Deuce does not have a vignette.
Since this is a proper battle, I don't gotta hold back. I'm gonna win this, fair and square!
Summon: Just a little while ago, Kingscholar-senpai tossed me this outfit. "You might be up next year," he said... What's that supposed to mean?
Groovification: I don't care about my chances, I'll never give up. You'll see just how much willpower I have!
Home: You tryin' ta face me? Or, whatever.
Home Transition 1: Asim-senpai said he wanted to build a hot springs on the campus grounds. If that really happened, I'd probably want to take a dip there, too.
Home Transition 2: So, Catch-the-Tail is all about letting your fists do the talking, huh. I sure hope I'm not rusty when I actually get to take part in it.
Home Transition 3: Kingscholar-senpai knows how to drive a car!? I've always wanted to know the difference in how it feels from riding a blastcycle. I gotta get him to tell me about it...!
Home Transition - Login: I didn't really know much about the Sunset Savanna, but it sounds like it's got some awesome places. You should show me around sometime.
Home Transition - Groovy: You're giving me these egg-flavored hot spring cookies? Thanks! It looks really good. Here, want to share 'em with me?
Home Tap 1: Is this a picture of the Sunset Savanna? Woah, these are some real neat shots. You gotta show me the rest.
Home Tap 2: So the Sunset Warriors even have to take special classes, huh. They're both scholars and fighters... I can't help but admire 'em.
Home Tap 3: In all of Schoenheit-senpai's photos, despite him focusing hard on the fight, it also looks like he's perfectly posed for the camera. I guess that's an actor for ya. He's always prepared...
Home Tap 4: A rain-calling tradition, huh. When it rains, my tires lose traction, and my mom has trouble with her deliveries... I don't think I've ever wished for it to rain before.
Home Tap 5: Don'tcha think the color and design of these beads are super awesome? I've always liked this kinda stuff, and... Eh? You think they're a bit much?
Home Tap - Groovy: I get so pumped up getting decked out in clothes specifically for a battle. In the past, I'd wear a special outfit that had a tiger embroidered on it whenever I had an important fight coming up.
Duo: [DEUCE]: There's no way I can lose, Asim-senpai! [KALIM]: Deuce, let's go all out!
Requested by @farfalla049.
#twisted wonderland#twst#deuce spade#kalim al-asim#twst deuce#twst kalim#twst translation#twst tamashina mina#mention: leona#mention: kalim#mention: vil
469 notes
·
View notes
Text
A pound of flesh - Lewis Hamilton x reader
You hear Lewis coming home before you can see him. Usually, he'd stick with his trusty every day Mercedes, the electric car smooth and quiet. But today, it's the Ferrari he's taken back from the airport.
"Look who's here," you tell Roscoe, who's already throttling to the door, tail wagging.
Lewis unlocks the door and goes to pet his beloved dog, barely managing to drag in his luggage. He pauses the soft scratches against fur to hug you and give you a quick kiss.
"Welcome back." You say. Usually, he'd be spending more time in Abu Dhabi for testing, but with his team change, he was free.
"Good to be here. Let me unpack this, and then we can all go out on a walk?" He replies, knowing that Roscoe would love the extra time.
"You boys can go out on your own. You know I can't say no to your fans. I think I took around a thousand pics when I had this looker all to myself." You suggest, not in the mood to be mindful of every movement you make. Especially now, when your desire to have Lewis was increased tenfold. Nobody needed to see your flushed face and slight clench of thighs after even the smallest touch. You swear your boyfriend was coated in aphrodisiacs, you could never get enough of him.
He agreed with a promise to be back as soon as possible. He attaches the leash to Roscoe, grabs the biodegradable baggies, and they're off. You are left with the remaining suitcase and bag. You decide to unpack it and sort it out, acts of service, and all that.
Lewis' luggage is neat. Is it surprising that the grid's fashion icon is not a fan of wrinkled shirts. It's all smooth sailing until you reach the smallest pocket of his backpack. There's a bottle of lube? And a fleshlight. You weigh the unfamiliar object in your hands. Was there a possibility he got it early for Secret Santa? But then why would it be open? Had he actually used it? If he had, how much? And ho7w did it look like? You certainly jumped ship fast, picturing Lewis pumping into the soft silicone toy. Did he think of you while doing it? Moan your name quietly as he filled it up with his cum? Did he use it every time, or was it a more of a last ditch effort. Lewis, spent, his hands slick with his spit and precum. His cock throbbing, but needing something more. Needing a pussy to fuck, a soft wet heat to sink in. Him lifting his hips and thrusting in earnest, needing to bottom out. Testing out the pace, seeing how certain rhythms would feel with you.
The fleshlight captures your attention so well that you don't notice the man himself walking back in your bedroom.
"Jesus fuck, please don't touch that." He pipes up, when he realizes just what you're holding. He's embarrassed. To own a fleshlight, a pocket pussy wasn't really his style. Truth is the purchase was once a necessity. A quick dip into a sex shop abroad years ago. He kept in around, because how the fuck do you even recycle this thing. And lately it's been coming in handy (and so has he).
"But I have so many questions." You say as you're still holding the toy. Usually, you'd drop it. But this was a goldmine. So you start with
"When did you get this?"
"2020." He replies.
"Okay, so at least I don't have to worry about being bad at sex." You laugh. Lewis walks over to you, arms wrapping around your waist, lips on your neck. Between kisses on your collarbone, he whispers that you're a great fuck. But he's only trying to distract you from being curious. So you don't relent.
"Why do you have it?"
"I'm an athlete in one of the most competitive and dangerous sports in the world. Almost every weekend, I'm in a car, risking my life. So yeah, hard not to get pent up. It doesn't help that I was notoriously single for some years before you came along. Can't really have a one night stand when your face is on a newsstand." He tells you.
Lewis' hands drift to your hips and move up. You hold the fleshlight away from his reach, and he retaliates by squeezing your breasts. His fingers clamp around your nipples and twist. Despite your needy moans, despite his promises to "make it worth your while," if you stop discussing his sex toy, you continue.
"Can't you just, I don't know, take a cold shower. Meditate it away or something. Do you need to get off?"
"Who do I have to blame for this, huh? Who's the one sending me nudes, videos, begging me to guide her through it, to make her cum? Who's the one that fucking jumps my bones at every break. You got me so fucking pussy drunk that I can't help it. I need to be inside of something. Otherwise I can't fucking cum." He says as his hand trails back down to your cunt. Despite the layers between you, the rough denim of your jeans and the cotton of your panties, you still feel him.
"Does it feel good? Is it like the real thing?" You ask, still managing to focus. But your concentration is broken when he says.
"When I'm away, it feels perfect. But then, I don't fucking know how you feel. I remember, but it's not the same. So I guess that will remain a mystery. Unless you want to try out a little experiment.".
You get what he means, and you're on the bed, clothes off. You're on your back, nipples hard, thighs glistening with slick and the fleshlight right on top of your aching cunt. You expect Lewis to grab a condom. Instead he simply gets the lube. You don't need it, but you're guessing the toy does. He's rubbing your clit, while touching the silicone toy at the same time. It's the faintest of caresses, a light tease if anything.
Usually, he'd not take his time, especially now, after he'd been away for so long. He wanted nothing more than to fuck you fast and hard, to make you cum. But you had a lesson to learn. Don't pry. Don't be a tease. Don't try to switch on him. Do not take his control.
It wasn't like you hadn't been bratty before. You'd be mouthy, sure. But you'd take the consequences. Whether it was spanking, too many orgasms or none at all. And now you're getting this. Being compared to a pocket pussy.
Lewis was no stranger to using toys, even with you. In fact there was nothing he loved more than pressing a vibrator against your clit as he fucks you. The buzzing between you brings you closer, making you squeeze his cock. But this, the fleshlight was different.
“Be a good girl and hold it for me, will you. Need it steady." He reminds you. Lewis watches your fingers clench around it. Yet you're shaking, practically vibrating from pleasure.
He kept up his rhythm, twin fingers trailing paths up your slit and that of the toy. There was a clear winner. Even his high grade, vegan lube was no match for your wetness. You were so eager and needy for him, beyond ready for anything he could give you. But he was a man of his word, he wanted to show you just why you were better.
He finally, finally presses a finger against you and you're a goner.
"You're fucking soaked, huh." He asks, as if it isn't obvious. Your hips are buckling against him and he has to grip them to stop you from moving. Saying something about unfair advantage, he makes you still, and fucking stops. No pleasure would come your way if you didn't play by his made up, unknown rules. With a whine, you beg for his touch. But he still doesn't use his fingers on you again.
His cock moves against your clit, rubbing it, then doing the same thing to the toy you're still holding. He spreads it open and thrusts slowly, letting the silicone envelop his shaft. It's fine. Then your turn comes. He sinks in you and it's so much better. Your little gasp at the first inch. Your warmth, the way you can't help but wrap your legs against his waist, to pull him closer to you. He takes the fleshlight and tosses it on the floor, not giving a fuck about the mess.
"Does this answer your question? About which is better." He asks and rejoices that you can only whimper and beg for more as a response. Lewis guesses that the triple header was also hard on you.
"Tell me how it feels." He continues, fully intent on milking this moment forever.
"Feels so good, God I need you like this again. Need you inside of me. Need you to fill me up, please." Lewis doesn't hesitate, gripping your hips and bringing you closer to him. His fingers move to rub your clit and that's your undoing. His comes about a minute later when you look up at him and say the magic words “Lewis, please.”. As much as he wants to lay next to you and cuddle to sleep, he's a good partner. So he takes the fleshlight that started this all and gives it a good scrub with some water and soap. Then he takes a towel to clean up his girl.
“You know, I gotta let you find my sex toys next. Let's see what happens then.” you say, and your words are somewhere between a treat and a promise.
#f1 x reader#f1 smut#f1 x you#f1 imagine#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton smut#lewis hamilton x you
396 notes
·
View notes
Text
GO AWAY. THIS IS SLANDER AND TREACHERY I hope Villain Deku comes for you 💔
it's the first of the month, which means happy villain deku day to @zee-nith and anyone else who celebrates 😝🤞
#stop why does he actually look so badass here#I can't even be mad about the BULLYING because I don't think I ever actually got over my villain deku phase#ruh roh me when I'm mentally ill ‼️#chat am I cooked.....#okay sorry first of all his gakuran is SO COOL#the way the fabric folds looks so natural I'm genuinely obsessed with the way you draw clothing#HIS EYES ARE SO PRETTY they're sharp and cunning and willing to stab a bitch#also the glowing eyes are SO COOL#curious if you had a quirk in mind or if he's quirkless and just glowing because bakugou makes him go doki doki *gets sniped*#the dusting of color on his cheeks gives him almost an innocent look and that juxtaposition is really neat#like. he's so cool but he's also in middle school. he's a baby. and people sometimes gloss over that so I really like how#you reconciled that with badass villain vibes#sorry going back to the gakuran because the buttons are shiny and pretty :3#anyways. his SMIRK omgg he's so cool but also he's actually a baby I can't 😭 bkg is quaking in his boots I can feel it in my bones#also the red earring is such a cute detail#carrying a symbol of bakugou everywhere he goes because bakugou is his main motivation uggghhh yes king#we love an unhinged clinically insane lover 🔥🔥#< deku setting fire to aldera#actually is it aldera or orudera..anyways that's not related to this post#HIS FLUFFY HAIR IS SO CUTE I WANT TO SQUISH IT#I love love love the colors you chose for it#a little muted for the spooky vibes while still being very much him#THE HAND LOOKS SO COOL CROW HOW DID YOU DO THAT#LOOK AT!! THE FINGERS!! HE LOOKS SO COOL AND NATURAL WHILE DOING THAT POSE#guyss obligatory villain gojo pose GO#this feels weird to fixate on but the fingernails are so pretty#I bet he could be a really good salesman for o'keeffe's working hands cream. 'do you want to start a villain empire but your hands are too#cracked and dry from washing blood off your hands all day? look no further!'#shigaraki could probably benefit from that actually#anyways if anyone's read this far I dare you to ask me or crow about villain deku day because that. was a Thing That Happened haha oh god
107 notes
·
View notes
Text
So there's this stucky fanfic blog (leave me alone, i hate marvel movies and like it when blonde men are bleeding; see also my recent interest in dungeon meshi) that I used to follow that had some major mod drama and basically stopped posting in 2020. I still get it as a recommended blog when I'm scrolling pretty regularly.
Here's what its archive looked like very recently:
Aaaand here's what its archive looked like starting November 3rd:
It is a compendium of the most absolutely rancid shitlib takes available and is going to be GENUINELY useful for a research project i'm working on because I periodically see these things float across my dash but I don't follow enough people who engage with these kind of posts to know what's a good source of them.
I only noticed it in the first place because it popped up as a recommended blog with a picture of trump, whereas normally when i see it recommended it's old fic or fanart.
Anyway, I'm torn between which of these two posts I scrolled past at a glance are my favorite. This one agitating about why censorship is good, actually and the government should ban tiktok (if you don't know why it's a bad thing to set a precedent that the US government bans the use of specific app I just can't help you, i'm sorry, even if you think tiktok is bad you shouldn't want the government banning apps) or this one that uses a Bill Maher quote that is explicitly about the hypocrisy of american civic religion to represent a group calling itself "The Christian Left."
First of all, Bill Maher is, essentially, a conservative and antivaxxer who thinks that Democrats keep losing because they're alienating their base by supporting things like universal healthcare (maher has cheerfully said on his show that he thinks we shouldn't charge taxpayers to make fat people healthy and that the best healthcare is a diet; he has also said a healthy diet is why people don't need vaccines, and you should skip the fast food to avoid getting the flu, and that vaccines cause alzheimers) and cancelling student debt.
Second of all:
As a very reddit-type atheist myself, I wish more people would remember that Bill Maher is not interested in christian morality, he is interested in pointing out hypocrisy as a cheap gotcha (and is absolutely uninterested in responding when people point out his own hypocrisy - he is a neat demonstration of why there is essentially no utility in pointing out when people's actions don't align with their stated beliefs).
Anyway, it's clear that the mod drama on a decade-old MCU fanblog was justified, thank you, unhinged mod, for the repository of liberal memes, and everyone, please please please accept that bill maher is a huge piece of shit and you don't want him to be the face of your movement.
351 notes
·
View notes
Text
Since I just turned off reblogs on another post that quickly went from "let's have fun" to "this is fucking awful, I'm taking away this toy," please read this BlueSky thread from rahaeli, who I don't think is on here.
Most of it I've c/p for ease of readability bc BSky's threading sucks.
Okay, it's time again to talk about what the experience of having a social media account with a bunch of followers (*) is like. (* "a bunch" of followers is platform dependent. I'm getting irritating shit at 2k on Bluesky I didn't get until 10k on Twitter.)
(Ugh, wait, nevermind, I hit 3k while I wasn't looking. Anyway.) Someone who has never had more than 100 followers literally cannot comprehend the sheer volume of the responses you get. Even if individual posts don't get a ton of replies, if you post with any frequency, it accumulates.
Once you hit the first degradation threshold, your experience gets a little bit shittier. It's overwhelming volume, but the people who are following you are mostly ideologically, socially, and culturally aligned to you. You have the same concept of social media manners.
You'll get a few duplicate comments, because nobody reads the comments before they reply, but they're mostly from cool people, so you just roll your eyes a little at the same joke five times. You still make friends. You still have fun and can wind up finding neat new people.
And then those neat new people retweet your stuff, and it starts reaching out to an audience of people who are less aligned with what you think of as social media manners. You start getting some replies you find obnoxious: they're in good faith, you can tell, but they just grate on you sometimes.
And then *those* people start reposting your more viral threads, and you get people following you who are three degrees of separation from the people you are most likely to vibe with. And three degrees of separation is the second degradation threshold.
The second degradation threshold is where you start getting the constant, low-grade sand-in-a-pearl annoyances. The person who wants to argue with everything. The 15 people making the identical shitty "joke" that's actually just doing the exact thing you're complaining about, "ironically".
The people who look at a post that contains no question marks and think "there is an implied question here and I will answer it!" and leap to offer the most basic advice that you already thought of because you have existed for more than three seconds and can, in fact, think of the obvious answers.
The people who are spoiling for a fight no matter what, because you used one word in the post that is their particular berserk button and they're going to scream at you for hating waffles because you said you like pancakes even though you never mentioned waffles.
It is constant. It is never-ending. You cannot escape it. Every time you post anything at all, opening the app means wading through twenty garbage replies for every reply from someone who is actually cool and you'd vibe with just fine if you chatted with them.
You want to bitch about a minor annoyance? There will be 40 people all giving you the same useless advice. You want to squee about something you're enjoying that's making you happy? There will be 40 people coming to scold you because that thing isn't morally pure enough.
Every post. Every day. About 75% of the time you compose a post, you will get halfway through writing it and think "I can't deal with the replies this will get today" and delete it. You stop talking about things you enjoy, because you're tired of people shitting on them.
You stop complaining about the tiny annoyances in your life that you want to bitch about, because weirdly enough you already HAVE tried the first fifteen obvious suggestions you're going to get, and you don't want to spend an hour explaining why they won't work to everyone who's "helping".
(But you can't just ignore the "helpful" posts and not engage with them, because then you start getting accusations of being "elitist" and "standoffish" and jesus, lady, we're just trying to help here, why do you have to be so fucking rude and stuck-up, you full of yourself bitch.)
If you are any less gracious to the 40th person than that person thinks they deserve, there is a very good chance they're going to call you a cunt and drag allot their friends in to dogpile you and make the site unusable for at least three days.
The third degradation threshold is when you start needing to regularly call your local police department and politely remind them there are people who get very mad at you online and will try very hard to have you murdered by armed agents of the state and you'd appreciate it if they didn't do that.
I first had that conversation with my local police department in 2003. It's gotten faster now, at least? You usually don't have to start by explaining what social media even is.
Bluesky has tighter thresholds than Twitter did. On Twitter it was nicely exponential: the breakpoints were around 1k, 10k, 100k. Bluesky is running faster. I'm getting Twitter 10k annoyances at a Bluesky 3k. I am trying very, very hard not to switch over into Twitter 10k defensive posting.
I want to leave the defensive posting back on Twitter. I really do. I want to be able to bitch about a thing without having to wade through 20 "go try [extremely obvious thing]". I want to post about a thing I enjoy without 20 people yelling at me I'm bad for enjoyjng it.
There's a difference between arguing about an idea (which I love) and the onslaught of constantly infuriating replies plucking at your last goddamn nerve. And the more "last goddamn nerve" replies you get, the crankier you are, and then people lose their shit at you because you snapped at them.
So maybe let's all start keeping a few principles in mind: 1) if there's more than one reply, check to see if your point has already been covered. If it has, you don't need to repeat it.
2) Even the funniest joke gets old after the 20th time you hear it in 3 hours.
3) "I'm going to jokingly do the exact thing you just were complaining about because ha ha the real joke is I would never do that asshole thing" is never funny, and it is indistinguishable from you actually doing the asshole thing.
4) If there is no question mark in the tweet, think twice about offering "helpful" advice unless you and the poster know each other *mutually*, not just parasocially, you know it's likely to be new info for them, and you ask "do you want to hear how I handle this?" first and get an affirmative.
5) If you are going to ignore 4, ask yourself "is this a suggestion that someone with a reasonable level of generalized adult knowledge would think of trying within the first 15 minutes of approaching the problem?" If so, do not suggest it.
6) Do you really need to nitpick that grammar, spelling, or word choice? Did you understand what they were trying to say before autocorrect mangled it or they blanked on the exact word they wanted and found a close one? If you understood the meaning, don't be their volunteer copyeditor.
7) Is someone excited about a thing you hate? Are they having fun with the thing? Is the thing a front for white supremacist recruiting or organizing the overthrow of the US government? If the answers are yes, yes, and no, respectively, shut the fuck up and let people enjoy things.
8) We are all occasionally That Commenter. If someone you have a pre-existing relationship with replies to you and lets you know you're being That Commenter, it's because they have a positive enough impression of you they don't want to go straight to block. Treat this like the warning sign it is.
9) It deserves repeating: remember the Law of Large Numbers. Even if you only commented once, you may be the hundredth irritating comment that person got that day. Bluesky's terrible threading makes this worse: people don't keep a single thread of mounting crankiness the way they did on Twitter.
9a) If someone's top tweet sounds really annoyed at something, maybe check their timeline or follow back their nested self-QTs to see what level of irritable they're at and over what so you don't step straight on the same rakes they've been dodging all day.
10) However, remember that BSky also doesn't show replies made by people the OP has blocked in a thread. If they post about a pattern that's making them cranky and you look and don't see anything, they probably already blocked the worst of it. They still saw it in their mentions in order to block.
I really cannot overstate how absolutely exhausting and soul-destroying the experience of having a large account can be. It's also somehow still rewarding, or we wouldn't do it. But especially if you're a woman or a person of color or a female POC, that balance is really, really close most days.
And of course, the ones who stay are the ones who do find it still rewarding enough to keep doing it despite the constant irritations.
From here, the thread moves into a conversation about stuff specific to BlueSky, but the majority of the thread is truly applicable to Tumblr as well.
You may be the first person to comment "op lives on a planet without music," or "op has never heard of [thing OP didn't mention for whatever reason]," but you're probably not, and at a certain point, it becomes like someone tapping a sunburn.
So yeah.
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Hey, isn't it so..."Great" that Viv is out here liking posts that clearly find moments where Angel is being sexual with his rapist "Hot" How much more telling can this all get, right? We really sit here, having to explain how fucked up it is to take SA, try to tackle it "seriously" but then proceed to not even do it for that reason. Only for it to be for angst and goon material. How do you expect me to SIT HERE and take whatever Viv has to offer seriously? The number of people I have seen trying to justify this gross behavior is abysmal. If you have this kink or whatever, fine not like I can stop you, be into that shit somewhere else, but DO NOT try and TACKLE IT only for it to be not even seen as serious or as a way for you to get off to your sick fantasies.
Why the hell would you like this? "Angel with his abusive rapist boss😝, so hot guys! Can'tstop thinking about it!"
What good reason would Viv have in liking this post? Why do over 4k people find a post like this neat? "Oh they're fictional, it's gucci, stop bitching" wouldn't need to bitch if people didn't outright sexualize moments meant to tackle an irl fucking problem.
By the way, this person ships Angel and Valentino together. Their pinned tweet is legit sexual Val and Angel art. I wouldn't recommend attacking them regardless if you disagree with their ships and what they deem...ugh "hot."
Fair warning to I WILL be showing some of their arts and reblogs as evidence, so if you are not into that sort of thing (anything NSFW), I highly recommend scrolling past my post or past this section of it.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I'm pretty sure Viv actively searches for this sort of thing on Twitter, like it's PAINFULLY obvious that she does. How you just so happen to like a post clear af lusting for this abusive relationship YOU CLAIMED to take seriously that ALSO happens to be from an account that ships the abuser with the victim? Gtfo with your two-faced shit, just say your find this hot instead of lying your absolute ass off. The audacity for some fans to go after one group of people for liking questionable stuff only to let other questionable things slide. Like homie, you can let rape slide, but draw the line for any other questionable thing? How's about you have that energy for EVERYTHING with your hypocritical asses. Ion wanna hear y'all stank ass make callouts if you're okay with a rapist being shipped with someone he actively harms in various ways.
And Viv
You say this entire sequence is meant to be uncomfortable, meant to not sugar-coat how awful this situation is, and supposedly have people who are victims/survivors themselves, yet here you are liking posts from people who do anything but take it seriously and even sexualize it. That's absolutely insane to me. And reminds me how you were drooling over some pins that glamorize the abuse Angel and supposedly Husk goes through, you know, the same character that COMPARED his abuse with Angel's.
Ah yes, let's downplay how horrible Angel's situation is further, shall we? Let's especially do it after adamantly arguing with other SA survivors who "haven't seen the episode yet" and need to shut up or don't watch 😃. Let's ignore the fact that Husk and Angel's situations STILL aren't comparable but it's still very odd to have pins on TWO situations taken seriously in the show. So do you actually view the situations seriously or not Viv???
God she's....actually fucking stupid and horrid.
#vivziepop critical#vivziepop criticism#anti spindlehorse#anti vivziepop#hazbin hotel critical#hazbin hotel criticism#hazbin critical#hazbin fandom critical#hazbin hotel#hazbin valentino#hazbin angel dust
919 notes
·
View notes
Text
Due to overwhelming popular demand (literally one person), I will now elaborate! The screenshots made this really long, so it's going under the cut.
I know I said 'not all that nice' in the original post, but I think a better word for what I read in Klavier would be that he's 'unfeeling' or 'callous', and I believe that largely comes from my initial impression of him. Many people cite the "This is the first time I've ever felt this way with a man" line as one of his most impactful early scenes, but, honestly, it didn't do much for me. Instead, the first time I properly took notice of Klavier was when he says this in Wocky's trial:
The first time I read that, I went, "Oh. He's demented."
And maybe that's a bit harsh, right? We don't know much about Wocky, but he is part of the mafia and under suspicion of murder here. Maybe Klavier's malicious glee at his soon-to-be untimely demise is warranted or excusable (though I would argue that it still takes a certain kind of cruelty to laugh right in the person's face). But that's the thing. This moment isn't a one-off instance but, rather, indicative of Klavier's oddly flippant attitude regarding death and other people throughout the game.
His rant in Turnabout Serenade about his keys, guitar and the dead body is probably what comes to mind quickest in this regard, but I would argue that Klavier's entire approach to court is a pretty obvious tell on this front. I don't think it's controversial to say that Klavier sees his cases as just another performance — what with the "Let's rock!"s and talk about everyone else "sharing his stage" — but he seems to treat the people involved like they're performers, too. There's a certain callousness that comes with his rockstar gimmick, which extends to his treatment of witnesses and suspects. Wocky is one thing, but Vera?
Like, the girl collapsed in front of you and is now knocking on death's door, Klavier; could you drop the showman-speak for one minute?
Maybe it's because Machi is a child, but I feel like this coldness of his comes across most clearly in Serenade. See, Klavier has a reputation for being the most straightlaced and honourable of the prosecutors, and I agree with that assessment! (I think. I don't remember what Blackquill is like, but for now, I agree.) His willingness to work with the defence is respectable and his dedication to the truth undeniable... but I think that only extends to truths he can see himself.
An interesting thing about Klavier is that he's never really behind Apollo in comprehending the truth of their trials, and he pursues it doggedly whenever he scents it. However, in the time before he realises what's actually unfolded, he pursues the truth he's determined with that same unbending zeal. He needs to understand what's happening — to be in control of the narrative at all times — to function at his usual pace. At the end of Serenade's first day of investigation, Klavier implies that Machi has been arrested because the powers that be required a swift arrest, but by the time the trial starts, he's 100% committed to sending that 14-year-old to the gallows. And he's not above using somewhat underhanded tactics to do it either.
There's a sort of ruthless edge to Klavier's treatment of not just Machi, but almost everyone involved in this case. He insinuates that Apollo might be lying about his witness testimony, knows why Lamiroir "saw nothing" yet chose to keep silent and have her brought out onto the witness stand to discredit her,
implies that Ema is the least useful detective on the force then embarrasses her on the stand by having her take the fall for the misunderstanding over Machi's eyesight,
straight up lies about not speaking Borginian to keep Machi from testifying, although he was translating fluently for Lamiroir just minutes prior
and even has his own updated autopsy report moment:
And are these all technically above board tactics to get to the truth? Sure (unclear about the lying, which he also does in the Misham case). But they're still mean-spirited, and his entire demeanour speaks of him just... not caring whom he hurts in his crusade for the truth. The feelings and reputations he damages on the way don't matter because they don't aid him in his goal. Finding the truth isn't about justice for victims or protecting the people caught in the crossfire to him. He wants the truth because... it's the truth. In that sense, he's a lot like og trilogy Edgeworth.
Something else Serenade makes clear is that this brusqueness towards people isn't exclusive to acquaintances and strangers; Klavier treats his loved ones with equal impassiveness. When Daryan crops up as a suspect proper later in the trial and Klavier is prepared for it, he ploughs forwards with that same unyielding efficiency and careless air. The few times he does lose his composure, it's largely due to the revelation of his own unwitting role in the crime. And when it's at last proven beyond a shadow of doubt that it was Daryan, his friend, his partner, the first detective he ever worked with, who tried to set him alight and killed someone, all Klavier has to say is,
... A cool, clean cut. No unsettled feelings, no messy loose threads. Just the hard truth and the calm acceptance of it.
It's the same with Kristoph later on — honestly, I'd argue it's even colder there. With Daryan, he had time to process the possibility and prepare for it. With Kristoph, it happens abruptly in court, and I'm not even sure that Klavier wholly believed Kristoph's original murder charges. There's a line right when he begins helping Apollo against his brother, where he says, "Honestly, I wanted to believe you", and I think the Shadi Smith charge is what he was referring to then. Even so, he puts it aside (much like Daryan, the few times he loses his composure are when he realises how he's been manipulated) and continues with his usual showy efficiency:
It ends, interestingly, harsher than it did with Daryan:
And there's something impressive about that, isn't there? That ability to come to terms with yourself and deal with your emotions so succinctly and conclusively. But isn't it also vaguely terrifying? It's murder on both counts here, so maybe it's a bit hyperbolic to say this, but it almost comes across like there are no second chances with Klavier. Like he sees other people, like himself, as being "simple", without room for greyness or capacity for meaningful change. People are fundamentally good until they do an inexcusable act, and then they're unforgivable and he's better off without them.
There's the argument to be made that Klavier's actually much more affected by these events than he lets on and this is just him masking his emotions to be professional, and I totally agree that that could be it, but I also don't think it fully is? I don't see Klavier as being one for masks, to be honest. I believe him when he says he tries to live simply — even the above examples I've given of him being unkind aren't parts of him he tries to hide; he's rather open about being apathetic, hence why I wouldn't call him manipulative. Like he says, he prefers to "keep things civil" because it helps him find the truth, and he's not particularly secretive about his friendliness being anything deeper than that. So, rather than him 'masking' his true emotions, I'd say it's more akin to him shoving those complicated feelings into a box, stashing it somewhere deep inside himself and refusing to ever examine it to the point where it doesn't affect his life in any obvious or even conscious way.
The one moment we know Klavier was truly conflicted about in his life (the forged diary page) he dealt with by, essentially, running away from. He left the court behind, threw himself into his band and only returned to it when it was forced into his lap, which relates back to how I think he only purses the truth relentlessly when he can see it clearly. He didn't look deeper into that diary page because it would have affected his simple relationship with Kristoph. We kind of see him do the same thing with the Gavinners, actually. Prior to Serenade, he's extremely proud of his band and brings up their achievements often. But after Daryan's arrest, he disbands the Gavinners and starts saying things like their lyrics comprised "ridiculous flights of fancy". There's a decisive effort to distance himself from that debacle, and I think he treats the people in his life much the same way.
There are also less significant moments that point to him not quite caring about other people's situations and his need for control — like when he glares at Ema for interrupting the Misham trial proceedings, though she did so to help them get to the truth; and when he sends Apollo tickets at 20% off though he's the millionaire rockstar and Apollo's the one living paycheck to paycheck — and one that sticks out is his case with Phoenix.
When Klavier warns him against using the page, and when he mocks him for the fraudulent evidence later, he says Phoenix has "embarrassed" himself. Not that Phoenix has made a decision that will ruin his reputation and leave him potentially without a means to support himself, just that he's "embarrassed himself". And I think that's adds another element to his unsympathetic treatment of people.
Klavier is sometimes just... a rich asshole HAHA I don't think he sees how certain hardships can push people to do awful things or really understands what desperation is like. When he's confronted with the darkness behind his cases and the nuanced circumstances that led to the people involved doing what they did, he treats them as amusing diversions, another element of the greater show that is the trial. And when you see how he reacts to complications in his own life, you kind of see why. He would never be driven to act in such a way because he doesn't allow those events to affect him. Whenever something goes wrong for him — really wrong, not just minor inconveniences he can moan about — he just... cuts the problem out. Keeps things neat and simple and moves forwards to a place where everything is, once again, within his control.
And, you know, maybe I'm just reading too much into moments that aren't meant to be taken particularly seriously — they do all fall under his self-absorbed rockstar gimmick, after all, but I don't know. I look at these moments in relation to one another, and I'm not sure he's as simple as he'd like himself to be.
wait, no. i think my ACTUAL hottest aa take is that i don't think klavier is all that nice
#klavier gavin#i know no one's gonna believe me after all this but klavier's not actually a character i think about very deeply or all that often so it#wouldn't surprise me if i have misread him. i should also note that i dont dislike him or think this callousness makes him a bad man by any#means. he kind of has the same appeal edgeworth has for me where i prefer them when they're not perfectly put together and charitable#i should also mention that i dont think it's a huge deal if that makes sense? it's the main point of this post so it seems a bigger “issue”#than it is (his treatment of personal relations i mean) but i dont see it as a source of some deeply hidden angst for him. i think if he#ever does examine his attitude towards people and the events with daryan and kristoph he'd kind of just go 'oh. that fucked me up huh.'#and sort of just sit with it. like i dont think it's something that would drastically change him aside from perhaps thawing him out a bit#and he's obviously got a lot of other things going on with him. i do think that his rockstar coolness perfectionism and tantrums are all#real parts of his personality. i just think this added chill is too. i think his desire for simplicity is what he likes about apollo#no offence to mr 37 hidden backstories but apollo tends to be quite simple himself when it comes to cases. it's just instead of truth for#truth's sake he's that way because it's his job. and i feel like apollo's general indifference towards klavier's background appeals#to him too. but it's also part of why i don't think apollo would have led to klavier changing (in this aspect) if they'd continued together#but we'll never know.#i love that kristoph moment. it matches up so well with so many chaarcters and just makes you pause. i basically used it here to pinpoint#klavier's attutude towards murderers (incl. kristoph) and to highlight their similarities. because they really are quite similar sometimes#with their desire to keep things neat and tidy klavier's odd... classism?? towards 'those borginians' and people who uh. *checks notes*#lick stamps and kristoph's general classism and their shared need for control at all times.#like for all their differences there are just certain things that make me go 'huh they really are brothers.'#and yeah as nice or not nice as he may be that moment with wocky always makes me do a double take bc wtf man that's kind of fucked up
381 notes
·
View notes
Text
A weirdly formative movie for me was "The Slipper and the Rose" (1976), which is a live-action movie adaptation of the Cinderella fairy tale set in some made-up European country. It is also a musical. I think it's fun and funny and sometimes quite sweet and I really like it as a comfort movie. It's kind of long and a little slow and old-fashioned and silly, and the ending is a little flat, but there are several songs that are just... about various logistical and humorous realities of being royalty... and I thought that was just fascinating as a young teenager who liked historical fantasy fiction.
(I excitedly tried to show it to a friend once and she was like, "WHAT am I watching?" She was bored during the dance sequences. It's quite different to the "(Rodgers and Hammerstein's) Cinderella" movie from 1997 starring Brandy. They're entirely different Cinderella musicals.)
The king and queen (and the dowager queen and the prince's cousin who will inherit if he doesn't marry) have a song sung to the prince called: "What Has Love Got To Do With Getting Married?"
The prince has a companion-at-arms (servant) named John and they have a really funny song together in the royal family's mausoleum, where the prince is like, "No matter what I do, I'm just going to end up buried next to these kings. Let me tell you all about how much they sucked as people." (It's called "What A Comforting Thing To Know" and it's probably my favorite song.)
The king and his ministers have a song all about the protocol for throwing a ball ("Protocoliogorically Correct"), because they don't want to offend anyone and accidentally start a war (again).
The prince's servant, John, is in love with Lady Caroline, who is the lady-in-waiting / companion to the dowager queen, but they can't get married because they're apparently too far apart in status. After the ball, when the prince is failing to find Cinderella, there's an entire song ("Position And Positioning") where John, the castle servants, and guards and civilians explain to the prince that there are ranks among servants and servants aren't as free to marry for love as the prince thinks they are. They even take the prince into the kitchens and are like, "Here are a bunch of other servants that you never see and barely knew existed, dude. They're going to do an extended dance number about this."
There are other musical numbers in this movie, including the romantic ("He/She Danced With Me") and heartbreaking ("Tell Him Anything") songs you would expect from a Cinderella story, but I mostly remember the humorous songs that actually engaged with the worldbuilding. I hadn't really seen a "fairy tale" movie do that before to that degree. (I'd seen books adapting fairy tales do it many times, but they don't have musical numbers.)
I think both "What A Comforting Thing To Know" and "Position And Positioning" are both worth watching by themselves, just for how unique they are among the many different Cinderella adaptations, and the movie clips are easy to find online. Go look them up if any of this sounds neat to you!
1K notes
·
View notes