#i don’t want to gooooooooo

[starbuck]

can’t wait for them to murder each other :))

[bbq-potato-chip]

I miss making comics….

[vuulpecula]

"Mr. Moriarty," Fox greeted, taking a seat across from him. Beside her, her partner did the same. He scowled, eyeing the restraints that kept the criminal's hands bound to the table before him. "I'm Agent Alkaev and this is Agent Cain." Before her, Fox placed a rather thick file--the contents filled with his crimes and those they suspected for him to be behind. She had looked over it, had familiarized herself, and one thing had gnawed at the back of her mind. He was no petty criminal, this James Moriarty. If he was, he would not be here, deep within MI6, in one of their most secure interrogation rooms--yet, he was here. He'd evaded everyone for so long and now, to be seated, cuffed, she had a hard time believing that it was actually him.

"Can I get you anything before we begin? Water, tea, coffee?" Beside her, Agent Cain scoffed.

@kingofthewebxxx plotted starter.

[lurkingshan]

Things That Have My Attention In 4 Minutes Episode 6

Original timeline FINALLY let’s gooooooooo

Going back to the start to see Great’s utter lack of remorse for killing that woman, his spoiled brat reaction to his dad handling his mess, and his decision to help his terrible friend get away with a murder was a great reminder that he is in fact a terrible person.

Congrats to… a bunch of us? for piecing together the original timeline correctly based on what we had. In the original sequence of events, Tyme was deep in his revenge plan, got dumped by his girlfriend for neglect, and then intentionally seduced Great so he could record their sex and use it for leverage against Great’s dad. Which didn’t really work. He’s not good at plans, y’all!

By the way, Tyme? Clearly not a virgin. I never liked that read anyway so I’m glad it’s dead. His awkwardness during his first time with Great in the redo timeline is more about his feelings being engaged, it seems.

Great being unphased about the video and just wanting more of that good dick makes perfect sense for his character. He doesn’t care about anything or even have real curiosity about what Tyme was after with that stunt.

And as we finish up the timeline we learn the source of Great’s regret. It’s not any actual self-motivated remorse or understanding of his moral failings, of course. Instead it’s Tyme calling him a coward to his face and rejecting him. His attempt to suddenly claim a moral high ground with his parents after his own string of murders was hilarious and I don’t think he gets the irony.

But someone does! Tonkla coming in clutch as the cause of Great’s cardiac episode was EXCELLENT. And it makes perfect sense because in this timeline, Great is one of Dome’s murderers along with Title. I think safe to assume we’ve been seeing everything else Tonkla was up to in this time in the cold opens, though the exact timing and sequencing of them is up in the air.

The only piece that’s still not tracking for me is Tyme’s side of the romance. The events of this episode explain why Great’s choices in the redo seem to center on getting Tyme to trust him, but they don’t explain Tyme’s reactions to him. This is hardly a love story for the ages. He and Great were emphatically not in love in this original timeline, so I don’t see why Tyme would trust him if he was also reliving this timeline. And if Tyme is not reliving things, that rushed romance arc in the redo timeline doesn’t really work. He has no reason to trust or fall for Great that easily. We also still haven’t seen how Tyme gets shot, so I am inclined to believe there is an additional timeline at play that fills in the remaining gaps and better motivates Tyme’s end of the romance.

Noting here that in the original timeline, the lady Great hit, Dome, and Nan all die, but his mom does not. So by saving that woman, Great inadvertently caused his mother’s death. Something to ponder as we head into the final eps and figure out whether these changes stick.

I’m still hoping that this story is going to take us to a nuanced and complex place and not lead to a pure happy romance ending for Great because honestly he does not deserve it.

It’s nice to finally have a week where we actually got a bunch of questions answered and didn’t generate too many new ones!

[musicalmoritz]

Could you do more of the kids/ parenting head canons??? Can I ask for like Aoiaoi, Natsuteru and Kounene also yamabuki lemon as a single parent and whoever else you want??

Another one let’s gooooooooo

AoiAoi

• Out of every couple these two are the most likely to get married and have kids

• They would have an insane amount of kids. Like they’d be on the news for how many kids they have. Poor Aoi

• Buuuut she’s just as eager to have a house full of kids as Akane is. She gives them flower names and they probably have at least one Harry Potter ass kid who’s named smth like “Teru Nene Aoi.” She doesn’t have to be as strict with them bcuz Akane takes over most of the parenting, trust tho she’s still very involved in her kids’ lives. She probably has a binder to keep track of what’s going on with each of them

• I mentioned before that I see Aoi becoming a florist in the future, I see Akane becoming a therapist. He uses a bunch of psychology tricks to parent their kids, but he has a habit of using too many technical terms when he gives advice. “No honey, you just need to develop an internal locus of control.” The kids and Aoi are both very tired of it. He would absolutely love being a dad tho and be the biggest family guy ever

• They have a sign on their front porch that says smth like “Home of Aoi Aoi Aoi Aoi Aoi Aoi Aoi Aoi Aoi Aoi Aoi Aoi Aoi Aoi & Aoi❤️”

• Their home life is very chaotic and stressful at times but it’s built on so much love and dedication. Akane and Aoi are both living their dream lives (likely with a lot of nannies) (or with Akane quitting his job to be a househusband after him and Aoi rock-paper-scissored over who got to do it) (Aoi didn’t speak to him for a week after he won)

Natsuteru

• Oh wow it is hard for me to imagine them as parents

• I say they would have two sons (I’m loosely basing this off a series one of my moots @/teru.kisser made on TikTok)

• No matter who he’s with, Teru is gonna be a helicopter. His parental instincts come before anything else in his life so he fully dedicates himself to the kids. He either has some cool ass job like a private investigator or he’s a stay at home dad, no in between (no he’s not an exorcist in this I’m letting him be happy). He dotes on the kids all the time but can be overly strict in order to keep them safe

• Natsuhiko tries to be the fun dad but he’s so aloof that the kids don’t know much about him. Some kind of super secretive job. His and Teru’s parenting styles tend to conflict so they essentially parent separately. They argue a lot bcuz of their differences but they manage to make it work because both of them are deeply in love with each other. Their kids frequently question how they ended up together

• They take the boys to amusement parks a lot

• While the household can be a bit tense and they could definitely use some family counseling, they all love each other a lot. None of them know how to express it bcuz they’re all so secretive in their own ways but they care about each other more than anything. It’s a weird life but a charming one

Kounene

• Old married couple Kounene save me…old married couple Kounene…save me old married couple Kounene

• Two sons and a daughter. That’s the vibe I’m getting

• Kou has some deep-seated issues he’s unwilling to address but he makes up for it by loving his wife and kids Gomez Addams style. Mans is fully devoted to his family and he makes sure to tell them that every day. I might let him go the exorcist route bcuz I want to see him suffer a lot little. He’s there at every sports game his kids have yelling at the ref. He makes Nene breakfast in bed every morning. One thing abt Kou is he’s gonna spoil the ppl he loves

• Writer!Nene is still a thing in this universe, she has her own trauma and writes to make sense of it. She’s a bit better with the kids because when they need her help, she focuses more on understanding why they’re upset as opposed to Kou who solely focuses on solving all their problems. She has a hard time keeping up with all their extracurricular activities but she supports them nonetheless

• All of Kou and Nene’s friends admire them for being high school sweethearts

• They’re a stereotypical sitcom family. Corny life lessons at the end of each day. The kids get into shenanigans. They probably have a dog too, a golden retriever. It’s a whole bit

Single Dad Lemon

• I love this one, we need more single parent rep

• I’m gonna say he has a son

• I really want to go with some tropey story of how he was living a rough lifestyle and found a troubled kid that he had to look out for and eventually he had to fix up his life to adopt the kid bcuz they changed each other’s lives but would that be too corny?? Maybe he just up and decided he wanted to be a dad someday. Maybe his baby mama left him. You decide

• He would be one of those dads that acts like an older brother at times but in a good way. Instead of rising to his rebellious son’s bait, he meets him halfway, confronting him abt his bs without putting up with it. One of those parents you can swear around but he will throw in a half-hearted “Language.” It’s rocky at first but they end up super close, a rare instance of finding a parent who is genuinely your best friend

• Their house is a mess but it’s a home <3 Similar to the Kounene family they’d probably have a sitcom type lifestyle, the Boy Meets World to Kounene’s Full House. The kid throws a party while Lemon is a way and they have to have a heart-to-heart about it. Cue the tears

I hope you enjoyed these, I had a lot of fun making them!! I’m pleasantly surprised I’ve gotten so many asks about this, I thought most fans hated fankid stuff so I’m happy to see I’m not the only one who like to imagine what these characters would be like in the future

[quibble-auk]

@thebrokenmechanicalpencil

Im giving up and splitting this in two parts and then going to bed. I have to watch kids tomorrow. I don’t know what I’m thinking. I do need sleep.

Based off of this

Next

Anyway, this is part one and this is also not proofread so let’s gooooooooo

Dropmix and Cometeater’s confrontation.

Warnings!!! There’s a bit of blood

—

“Jeopardy, you moved the red mech and Cometeater to a separate room?” Dropmix asked casually, going over the list of remaining patients. There weren’t many left. There had been even more casualties than usual—Dropmix looked around the medibay, they would definitely need to do some cleaning and restocking. He swiftly added it to his list of things to do. It was painfully long. The young medical mech in question was in the middle of administering some painkillers,

“Yeah, they should be in one of the private rooms now,” He looked up from his work at Dropmix, “You sure we shouldn’t use the space for someone else?”

Dropmix shook his head and placed down his datapad with a sigh, “No, they need the separate space. The gladiator almost took a hand off one of the nurses and it's better if the green one isn’t crowding us. We’ve still got a lot of patients out here.”

He wasn’t lying, not really. He just wasn’t telling the entire truth. Dropmix didn’t want Jeopardy anywhere near Cometeater. It was too risky. He knew that the creature was mostly docile, at least it had always seemed that way when it was with the twins, but it was still more dangerous than half the mechs in the room.

The red and black mech may have been able to fight it off, but not without endangering the other patients. He was older now too. His armor weighed him down and he was starting to experience the consequences of fighting in the pits for so long. He probably should have listened to Theremin more.

Jeopardy’s fingers twitched slightly and he looked at Dropmix with the familiar expression that told him that the young mech knew he wasn’t telling the truth. The red and white bot never said anything about it, that didn’t change today. After a brief pause he returned to his work.

Dropmix looked down at the list. All of the patients he had were stable, some would need surgery and more extreme repairs though. Unfortunately that made another issue arise, they didn’t have enough space to maintain all of these mechs until the proper supplies came in. delivery was slow, especially to an outpost like this, Dropmix hadn’t had time to restock from the last battle and they were going to suffer for it. He pulled up their inventory on his computer and started looking through and rationing it all.

“This is a new song,” Jeopardy commented, measuring liquids at a bedside tray.

The larger mech hummed, Dropmix had nearly forgotten about the subtle lulling in the background. He had turned down the volume when the wounded first started coming in. While he had been busy treating everyone he had turned on his own inner comms to play the music a little louder for himself. He internally adjusted the volume of the speakers in the Medibay, turning it up a bit more. “Yeah, I bought it off a Decepticon I ran into the other day.”

“When did you have time to go out?” Jeopardy asked, unphased by the content.

Dropmix shrugged as he clicked through more receipts and materials, “It was a while ago, when I had travelled to the medical station?”

He found what he was looking for in the inventory, supplies for healing organics.

“I was running across a border and ran into an injured Decepticon,” Dropmix carefully left out the part where he didn’t actually heal him, rather killing him and downloading the data off of his corpse. But those were the nitty gritty details that no one needed to worry about. Jeopardy didn’t need to know that and he didn’t give Dropmix that look. Good.

“Fun, I like the song. Could you add it to my playlist?” Jeopardy asked, effectively making himself busy with the patients.

“Yeah,” a few moments later and the song had been successfully added to the ‘Jeopardy’s favorites’ playlist Dropmix had made for him. He pushed himself out of his chair, ignoring the dull ache in his knees—a few too many harsh landings—and glanced at the inventory report a final time for the location of the supplies he needed. “I’ll be back.”

Jeopardy nodded and didn’t press any further. He was a good kid. Sometimes Dropmix worried about how unbothered he was with everything. He appreciated the fact that he never seemed to press or pry but sometimes his lack of asking questions was more unsettling. Future things to work on with him, now wasn’t the time.

The large red and black mech walked into a storage closet and started rummaging through supplies, slowly collecting anything he may have needed in a box to the side. He really didn’t know how organic Cometeater was, Dropmix had no idea what he actually was in the first place. But he knew what it looked like to ignore pain, Comet would not be the first mech to try that on him, and he most definitely wouldn't be the last.

Dropmix walked further in the closet, racing for a pack on the top shelf, accidentally pulling down a small box of other prescription drugs with it. He suppressed a sigh as he looked down at the mess. He kicked the scattered supplies to the side, he’d get to that later, he needed to stay focused. The sooner he healed Cometeater and got Sideswipe up and running the sooner they would be out of his medical bay and he wouldn’t have to deal with… unwanted attention.

A few more minutes or sorting through supplies and he finally had everything he needed collected, a little bit of everything. Dropmix stared at the box, he'd rather not bother addressing the two gladiators at all. If they didn’t recognize him then this would be an unnecessary risk. But Cometeater had, the others may have been too preoccupied to pay it any mind but Comet had said his name. He recognized Dropmix.

He needed to make sure Comet understood that he wasn’t allowed to tell anyone about what Dropmix was. Hopefully if he offered to heal him then it would be easy to convince him. I scratch your back, you scratch mine. If that didn’t work—Comet could always argue that Dromix’s entire job was to heal after all—Dropmix would mention the fact that he knew what Comet was as well. If the red and black mech had learned anything from his time in the Pits watching the strange create, it would do anything to blend it.

Plan set Dropmix readied himself and walked out of the supply closet and to the small hallway with the private rooms. He looked through the patient names until he found the right room. He balanced the box on his hip and knocked on the door. He waited a few seconds then entered the room, closing the door with his foot behind him.

The main lights were off in the room, leaving the lights that constantly dimly glowed. Dropmix missed his other eye. He used his scanners to help locate where the other occupants were and hopefully where the lightswitch was. Cometeater was practically on top of Sideswipe, which explained why Dropmix was having such a difficult time figuring out what he was looking at. The medic set his box down on a chair.

“Dropmix,” a voice growled out dangerously. Cometeater had fluffed up his plating and had protectly placed himself between Sideswipe and Dropmix. His teeth were bared in an angry snarl as he dared Dropmix to get closer.

The music playing on the internal comm system crescendoed slightly.

The medic paid Comet’s body language and obvious challenge no mind, looking through the box with some difficulty due to the low lighting. “Cometeater.”

“What do you want? The medics are done with Sideswipe. Why are you here?” The creature hissed, not moving from his position on top of the twin. A low growl reverberated from his chest.

The song was in G minor.

Dropmix looked over at the other, “Are you trying to pick a fight?” he asked with a carefully crafted neutral expression. If it had been someone else he may have added a smile. With how defensive Comet was currently a smile would come off more menacing than he wanted.

“Get out,” Cometeater was basically seething. His claws flexed against the berth, slow and deliberate. A warning.

He probably felt cornered and the need to protect Sideswipe from Dropmix was strong. The medic didn’t blame him for it, the creature had seen him when he was a gladiator. They knew what he was capable of. He understood completely, it was the same reason he had gotten Comet away from Jeopardy.

The string instruments stole the melody from the brass.

Cometeater wasn't going to back down and stop trying to provoke Dropmix, that much was clear. Dropmix would just put him in his place, let him know who was in control. He needed to remind Cometeater that they weren’t in the Pits anymore, “This is my Medical bay, I can be whatever I want.”

It was a simple, “You're on my turf, back off.”

“What do you want?” The other demanded.

Dropmix looked over at Cometeater and motioned to the lights above, “Can I turn on the lights? I can’t see slag in here.”

You have some control, I’m not asking you to submit.

“No. What do you want, Dropmix?” Comet growled. He hadn’t moved from his position over Sideswipe, he was still challenging Dropmix.

There was a heavy bass line in the song, deep and prominent.

“I want a lot of things, not all of which I can have,” Dropmix tried humor, Comet bristled. Humor wasn’t the solution then, he needed to recover, “I just want to talk with you. I know you require a… Different kind of medical treatment than normal mechs. I’ve got some–”

Dropmix never got to finish, Comet had launched himself off of the bed and had set a target for the medic’s neck. Touchy subject. Dropmix felt his systems jump at the promise of a battle, programs rearing and starting up within moments.

The rest between songs was poorly planned.

The black and red mech moved to the side, twisting out of the way at the last minute. His supplies were sent askew on the floor as Comet collided with the box. The slagger was going to make a mess of his medical bay like he owned it.

Dropmix felt a growl escape his throat and his hand shot out before he could think much about it. Cometeater had twisted around and bit down hard on the gladiator’s wrist. Dropmix had prepared for that, pinned the smaller creature with his other hand. He pressed down harshly onto their chest, feeling them squirm under his grasp. Dropmix shifted under the heavy weight of his armor, it almost felt suffocating. He ripped his wrist from the creature's mouth with little care for the teeth still lodged in his wrist.

Energon dripped onto the floor.

Dropmix’s grip shifted to the creature's neck, forcing them against the wall. They scratched and kicked at him, his armor was thick enough that the erratic and uncoordinated movements didn’t do anything. He lifted up his free hand, suddenly aware of his lack of claws—he was supposed to have those for these kinds of things. An annoyed growl escaped his throat as he shifted his hand to a fist.

He swung.

The hand had been inches away from meeting Cometeater’s abused chest when the music finally resumed and Dropmix froze.

—

Ooooo a cliffhanger.

[sandeewithtwoe]

WOOOOOOO!!

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO

Ok now, I’m gonna start thanking mutuals that have just been awesome to me, even though I know I don’t talk a lot and it’s hard to keep in touch with me

@sketchingstars03 for being a big supporter at the very beginning of my journey here on tumblr. Your tags/comments always cheer me up and you’ve just been a beacon of good vibes to me

@karineverse for always being so nice to me- I don’t even think “nice” is a good enough word for how awesome of a person you are. You always show excitement and love for everyone’s art, it’s amazing

@somegrumpynerd for leaving the nicest tags I’ve ever read. Not even just that, but your comics and posts about the bad sanses always leave me thinking about them for another 20 minutes, which inspires me to make even more art

@whittlore for reaching out to me and being a wonderful mutual, like talking to me and tagging me on funny stuff. You always bring positive energy every time I see you on my feed

@anamdreams69 for sharing with me your creative ideas and making my nights better with your silly jokes. Talking with you on discord will always be a great time

@hexcia for making awesome character design that motivates me to make silly characters in my head. I sometimes look at your art to give myself inspiration for my own OCs you have no idea

@meglyfer (didn’t expect me to tag you huh?) you always interact and reblog literally all of my posts and I wanted to thank you so much for that. I know we don’t talk a lot but I always read your tags and I always appreciate seeing you in my notifications

AHHH AND THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR FOLLOWING ME!!! FOR READING THIS!!! AND FOR BEING ALIVE!!! YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!!!

[miadearden]

Okay Arcane2 Act3 thoughts!

The opening sting having a different picture on the record had me going “OH SHIT” right from the get-go!

Wheeeeee! Ekko time! I theorised that we’d get a full Ekko ep (my thinking was ep08 but I think ep07 worked better) and I’m so glad we were correct. Ekko reckoning with the fact that his tip as a child kicked off both the events in his world and in this new reality that he finds himself in, that regret getting mixed into his need to recreate the hextech anomaly and thus he ends up with the Z-Drive, a device that literally lets him go back in time. Really excellent stuff.

Also the fact that this other version of Powder was so key to helping him make the Z-Drive - and the fact that she sees that she’s been hanging with a different Ekko than the one she knows at the end I CRY

Surprised that Heimerdinger died, but it makes sense. I don’t think there was really much more that he was going to offer to the story, so yeah.

I have less to say about Jayce’s side of the hextech trip. It was about what I expected. Called it that the old sage that influenced his desire to pursue magic would end up being Viktor. And the robot? Creature? Thingys? Were creepy As Fuck. So good going there.

All in all, really loved this ep. Not as much as ep05, but still very much.

Onto ep08! And lmao that tweet about how Cait doesnt stand a chance as the hottest woman on the show when Mel is around goes even double now. Ho dang.

That said, due to the pace of this season and the events that followed, I think the emotional side of Mel’s arc ended up being a ball that was dropped a bit. Like we had that conversation between her and Jayce after about her having to reevaluate who she is now, but it felt kinda forced and I feel like we needed some time for her to sit with her feelings a bit more.

The fact that she went to Ambessa at the end of ep08 and offered herself up to Piltover even knowing that Ambessa just wants her magic broke my heart

Onto Cait - I still stand by my thought that her arc has also been harmed by the breakneck pace of this season - however I do love that we see her draw the similarity between her and Jinx and acknowledge that her pursuit of Jinx drew the worst out in her.

And Jinx. Oh, my poor, poor, girl. Once again her and Vi are going ahead and making me cry. Ekko too. Him using the Z-Drive over and over again, trying to save Jinx’s life. I cry.

On the opposite end, CAITVI SEX SCENE?? SEEING VI’S FULL BACK TATTOO FOR THE FIRST TIME?? ALL TO KING FUCKING PRINCESS?? LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO

Hey, so do the Jayce haters still think he’s in the wrong for what he did in ep06? Even after Viktor’s whole speech?

My thoughts during ep09 - “Oh, THIS is League of Legends” isn’t it? Lmao

I can’t believe the Maddie haters were right, actually. Incredible call by the haters

Alright getting Mel and Cait up against Ambessa while Ekko, Jinx and Vi are taking on Vander was a very good choice. Loved the Zaunites coming in led by Jinx during the all-is-lost moment, and Mel’s ploy to pretend she’s giving her mother over to the Black Rose but taking it back.

Hooting and hollering and screaming “Boy fucking Saviour let’s goooooooooooo!” as Ekko came in clutch with the Z-Drive. That’s my boy! There he go!

Fully did not expect Jayce to go out with Viktor. Alright then. A win?? I guess?? For the JayVik fans??

(Also “there is no prize to perfection, only an end to pursuit” is such a good fucking line I’m mad that Viktor of all people got it)

Well, Singed got what he wanted at least.

All in all, good season - not great, primarily because of the pacing which I think I’ve brought up in each one of my posts. There were a number of elements in this season which needed more breathing room to really hit, and we just didn’t get that which is disappointing. I’ll probably still check out the next LoL series that Riot makes - particularly if most of the same creative minds are going to be behind it. And I’m definitely going to be keeping track of a number of the Fortiche artists and Fortiche in general and what hey work on next (which if I’m remembering correctly they’ve announced a Hades/Persephone movie that they’re making?)

So, yeah

[the0retically]

The Suckening thoughts-#6 Meet Your Maker:

Spoilers below but my god that was a cool episode

- The intros get crazier and crazier and I love it

- Part 2?? Oh!! Goodness I have no idea how many episodes there will be of this and I’m so Scared because they all said it emotionally destroyed them

- …why are they spending this long on this intro,,,,please

- GOD THE MUSIC SLAPS SO MUCH NATHAN HANOVER THANK YOU FOR MAKING AN AMAZING SCORE

- GREFGORE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CHARLIE PLEASE

- Emizel’s “I HAVE QUESTIONS!” makes me So sad

- “Arthur do you see Grefgore anywhere?” SHILOOOOOOO :((((((

- “Arthur please just wait for like 45 minutes” “….is there a pet store nearby” PLEASE??

- SIBLING BONDING EXERCISE!!

- God why are they going back in????

- Ok yeah cat emizel, he has claws

- This is a nightmare what the hell, but good! Go get Grefgore!

- SHILO?? GO WITH YOUR BROTHER

- They’re just redoing it??????? Y’all pleaseeeeee…Charlie’s just like “yeah this will be Exactly the same!!”

- “What is another life for Grefgore!” Shilo I love you, thank god you’re going to try and get him

- And god emizel is Alone what the hell

- And they had to leave Condi alone goodness

- NO! THATS THE QUESTION HE WANTS ANSWERED?? brooooooo

- Ok that entire exchange made me so sad, he lost when him and the demons got their hideout, sure he was able to get Grefgore back (LETS GOOOOOOOOO!!!!!) but he Still does not have an answer to why he was abandoned and Shilo got to stay :((((( emizel buddy :(((

- Rip Arthur Petco is closed

- BIZLY IS SO HAPPY ABOUT GREFGORE BEING BACK!

- ……….weird digital glitching?? Excuse me?

- Also god why is Shilo’s aura mortal

- Awwwwwww shilo goes to hug grefgore!!

- “Can vampires regrow their heads?” “……………….what?” Oh god Grizz please don’t cut grefgore’s head off

- “Permission to hug you back my prince?” “Of course!” “Big day for grefgore!” PLEASE :)))

- “You still have many hours for the night” “is that true?” “….yeah?? No! You caught me in one of my DM lies!” iconic exchange

- Oh my god what is happening with this poor nurse, just let her go!!

- Oh god now this has become a sitcom bit what is happening, shilo is just concerned for this woman’s life but emizel and Arthur are trying to get her to get Vanya’s schedule

- :( Arthur telling the boys they don’t have to come with is Very sad

- “If Grefgore is truly a burden to you then I shall go get blood” GREFGORE NO YOURE NOT A BURDEN

- No vents? Damn rip

- Thank god no Arthur frenzy

- LAZARUS????? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

- He’s in the toilet???

- Oh a little family reunion!

- ……….why is this sus, is that really Lazarus?

- WHY IS HE PUSHING A PHEASANT THROUGH THE TOILET PORTAL?

- Charlie’s curse as a DM is just making insane animal noises

- …..is shilo allergic to birds?? Why is he sneezing bizly please let him enjoy the bird

- “Well it is what it is!” LAZARUS PLEASE

- The chaos of the twins to the seriousness of Arthur is Such a juxtaposition

- Oh…Arthur killed his family, god this is heartbreaking

- “Why did you use me?” “Because it was the most effective way” GOD PLEASE

- God props to Charlie and Grizz for this whole interaction, I love this

- OH STAKE RIGHT THROUGH HER HEART

- Arthur popping off, it’s incredibly sad but good for you! Burn her!!!!!! She’s the reason your family is dead, kill her!!!!

- Arthur I love you I’m so sorry your life has been this tragic

- EMIZEL DID NOT ANSWER AND SAY “YELLOW?”

- Jonny???? Oh god, why is there a hit on the demons??

- Thank god soda isn’t there! Please Charlie say soda isn’t there

- HA GRIZZ REALIZING THAT EMIZEL FORGOT THE GANG WAS SO GOOD

- But emizel remembers Theo at least!! That’s good!

- SHILO IS GETTING THE OLD PEOPLE TO BEAT UP EMIZELS SIRE????? IM CRYING OH MY GOD

- What???? Metal???? What is up with this vampire

- Please tell me emizel isn’t going to die again

- Why did they leave Grefgore behind???

- “YOU SHOULD’VE JUST LET ME SUCK YOU MAN!” “WELL I’M SORRY I SUCKED BACK!” ????????

- SHILO RALLY THE OLD PEOPLE!!!!!

- Charlie is that old man Earl????

- EMIZEL IS DEAD AGAIN??????

- “The Wylan twins send their regards” ??????? HUH??

- Shilo is just a sweet boy :( but GET OUT OF THERE

- SHILO GETS HIT TOO?

- “Next session is going to be the adventures of Arthur and Grefgore!”

- Shilo please get out of there

- GOOD RUN!! GET OUT OF THERE

- SHILO PLEASE YOU CANNOT DIE

- WHAT THE HELL

- TAKE GOD FOR REFLEXIVE HEALING

- MINUS FIVE TO EVERY ROLL??

- HE MADE IT! HE SACRIFICED THE OLD PEOPLE HES BLEEDING OUT BUT HES OK!!

- EMIZEL HI??

- Get out of the sun my boy!!

- Oh,,,,,,,oh no?? He has no arms or legs oh my god, he’s tied to a chair and his mouth is sewn shut????

- HORROR HORROR HORROR

- CHARLIE WHAT THE FUCK

- WHAT THE HELL??

- I don’t know why this encounter with the twins and emizel is the most terrified I’ve been with Charlie dming, holy shit

- WAIT EDWARD TWILIGHT?????? WHAT THE FUCK?????

- Emizel I love you, biting off your own tongue to spit at them is amazing he’s so iconic

- Viv and Vex,,,,,interesting

- GOD EMIZEL I LOVE YOU YOURE BADASS

- 7! God please don’t lose more I’m getting scared

- BUT GOD A GREAT EPISODE

[jupiter-soups]

summer camp sadness

synopsis: when it’s Sarah's first time away from home for overnight summer camp, Joel is unprepared for the wave of emotions that overtake him.

tags:  fluff, single dad!joel, no outbreak!au, joel just generally needing consolation that sarah is still his baby girl

word count: 2.3k

a/n: this was written for the pedro pascal cinematic universe discord server fest!!!! please feel free to join in and write something too, or just join the server and have a good time as we talk about all of our favourite dilfs!! link: https://discord.gg/2SBkmdbp

anyways, this is just a cute little oneshot because i just know that Joel would be struggling with his little girl growing up. also this is set in like 2010-ish? they’re the same ages as the show, i just wanted to make a 2009 reference lol. enjoy!!!!!

“And you have Uncle Tommy’s number written down too?” He asks for easily the thirteenth time since they had begun the four hour journey to Camp Yaupon, while fussing with the zip on his daughter’s baby blue puffer jacket as she stands in front of him.

The curly-haired girl lets out a drawn out groan in response, shifting a few steps back to get out of his nervous grip, “Yes, dad, I have his number, I have your number, I have the neighbor’s number, please, can I just go? Before everyone else makes friends without me?” She’s practically bouncing where she stands from the nervous energy, beyond eager to head in and begin the next three weeks of soccer, crafts, and female friendship.

He loosens his grip on her jacket and nods solemnly, clearly running through a mental list of questions to find any reason to extend this goodbye. When he comes up empty, he grabs her and pulls her into a huge bear hug, practically lifting the girl from the ground in his embrace. 

“Dadddddddd,” She groans, trying to pull away with a sheepish, embarrassed expression, as if she was praying that the other girls didn’t see this moment of affection. He had explicitly promised that he would be cool when they got there. She should have known better when he began to tear up as her Hannah Montana: The Movie soundtrack CD began to play ‘Butterfly Fly Away,’. “I need to gooooooooo, it’s fineeeeeee” She drags out, awkwardly patting him on the back.

With her embarrassed tone, he finally pulls away with a small sniff, and rubs his hand across his face as if he was merely affected by hayfever from being parked out near the woods.

“Sorry, darlin’,” He chuckles awkwardly to play off his emotional outburst, “Of course it’ll be fine, just…you’ll be so far away, is all.” The girl’s eyes widen in panic as she spots the redness in his eyes and realises that it is very likely that he is about to start up again. She chooses to pat him on the arm a few times with a warning look, as if to say ‘get it together, old man.’ 

“Alright, alright. I get it. You have fun now, sweetie. Call me before bed, okay?” 

He watches as she scampers off before she pauses briefly, trying to decide which group of teen girls she should approach. He swallows dryly, trying to fight the pinching in his eyes as the sinking feeling that he was really about to be without her for three whole weeks began to swallow him up again. 

You stood a good dozen feet away from him with your own daughter, Ellie, who was rolling her eyes at you. “Come on, Els, if you don’t put it on I can’t let you go and get settled. It’s a four hour drive back, just let me go home already.” You insist, doing your best puppy dog eyes as you hold out the bottle of sunscreen at her.

“Fine,” She gives in, snatching the bottle with an overexaggerated glare that makes you giggle at her fake misery. She begins to slather it onto her face, making noises of disgust at the scent, before complaining “Y’know the second you go home, this bottle is going straight in the trash, right?”

“Ellie. Humor me, just this once,” You say, deadpan, causing the girl to snicker.

“I apologise, mother, I shall be sure to apply the sunscreen diligently every six hours, as per your wishes,” She says in a fake English accent, grinning at the way your eyes narrow in displeasure. 

“I’m sure it’ll be real funny when I never come and pick you up,” You say, dead serious, before breaking to swipe off a remnant stripe of white sunscreen from the side of her cheek. 

“Come here,” You give her a quick hug, knowing not to overdo it and embarrass her. “You’re gonna be careful, and call me if anything bad happens, right?” You press a small kiss to her forehead, immediately making a disgusted face at the remnants of sunscreen, something that Ellie notices and cackles at. 

As Ellie skips away to the friend that waves at her with their full body, you watch with a smile, trying to will away the tears that threaten to fall. This wasn’t new for you, but it was still a strange feeling, knowing that your girl wouldn’t be waiting for you at home. From the corner of your eye, you spot a similar scene unfold.

A man, watching his daughter leave, with that very familiar look of sheer panic marring his pretty face. You had been there before. You approach him carefully, noting the way his fists were clenching and unclenching by his sides in some sort of attempt at containing his emotions. 

You cough slightly to make him aware of your location, feeling sort of guilty at the way he was caught off guard, flinching at your presence. “First time?” You ask, a small comforting smile adorning your lips.

He lets out a slightly pained huff of a laugh, looking back at where his daughter was now sitting at the picnic table, “That obvious, huh.” His voice is small at this moment, before he suddenly seems to snap out of it and clears his throat. He stands up straighter and rubs a hand on the nape of his neck, trying to laugh it off more convincingly this time. The way his eyelashes were slightly wet gave him away.

“Guess I’ll get used to it.” He says resolutely, as if he was willing it to be true. He sticks out a large hand as he introduces himself, and you take it, shaking it twice. “Joel Miller, Sarah’s dad.” He pauses before remembering, “Oh, uh- That’s Sarah.” He gestures over to the cute tween girl now animatedly talking to your own daughter. You grin at the sight.

“Oh, I am so sorry. She seems to have met my spawn, Ellie. That’s her over there,” You point at the girl who had somehow stood on the table in the two seconds it took for you to point her out. His genuine laugh warms you, and it takes you a second to remember to introduce yourself. He squints slightly as you say your name. 

“Anderson Middle School, down in Austin?” He questions to your surprise. 

“Uh- yeah. Ellie’s just left their eighth grade class.  Have we met before?”

“No, not really. I just-uh. Think I’ve seen you before, at a PTA event. You were complaining about the girls soccer team getting their budget cut, if I remember correctly.” 

“Yes, that was me!” You confirm, “It did fuck all to help, but Ellie was proud of me for telling the superintendent to go to hell. So, that was nice. Did get banned from any and all following meetings, though.” You grimace at the awkward memory.

He chuckles, and you both fall into a comfortable silence watching your kids laugh with each other. Ellie was now sitting cross legged on top of the table, and Sarah must have been telling her a joke given how you could hear their laughter all the way where you were standing.

As the bell begins to clang, indicating that it was time for the campers to head on inside and that parents could finally head home, you notice Joel tense up beside you. A glance to your left proved that your suspicion that he was not handling this well was correct, as you saw the way redness was rising up his neck and into his face. He chews on his lips as he watches the girls pass through the cabin doors, finally out of his eyesight.

“Hey, it’ll be alright,” You can’t help yourself from comforting him, feeling the pain that you felt just last year when it had been Ellie’s turn to stay at an overnight camp for the first time. His bashful expression as he looked up at you with tears forming in his eyes melted your heart and you pressed a gentle hand against his firm shoulder, rubbing comforting circles.

“I promise, it’ll get easier. Last year, I was so scared to be all alone in that empty house without my Els, but it’s not too bad. Especially once you remember how nice it is to be able to day drink.” You joke, trying to lift his mood. 

He chuckles once, and tries to straighten himself up, squaring his shoulders and turning his head away from you to wipe at his eyes quickly before turning back. “Just goin’ to be weird. So used to her yapping on about her little boy bands. Three whole weeks without her,” He trails off and lets out an exhausted sigh, “Goin’ to be weird.” He repeats to himself quietly. 

“Single dad?” You ask, recognising that bitter fear of loneliness that you yourself had experienced many times in the process of raising a daughter on your own. He nods slowly, and turns to face you, seeming to finally have given up staring at the door that Sarah disappeared through. 

“Jus’ been me and her, goin’ on eleven years now.” He confirms, seeming to have slightly pulled himself together. He sort of looks you up and down for a second, before asking “What about you? Single?” He hesitates before stuttering out, “Single mom, I mean.” 

“Yep, just me and Ellie since she was four.” It’s in this moment that you realise you're still holding on to his shoulder absentmindedly, and you quickly withdraw your hand to your side. God, his shoulders were broad and firm.  His face did seem a little brighter, too, and it looked good on him.

“I know it can be hard to deal with when they first start to have a little independence, but there’s good to it as well. You get to have a little independence, too. And, I can say from experience that she’s not suddenly going to stop needing you. She’ll probably be on the phone to you before you know it.” 

“You’re right, I know. It’s just,-” He sighs, his slightly defeated tone still persevering in a way that told you that he had been wallowing in this for a while, “How can you know that? That she’ll still need me or want to call me. What if I go home, and she’s having so much fun that I don’t hear from her for the entire three weeks,”

You gesture to the ground beside him, to a pink backpack you noticed just a moment before, “Well, for starters, she’ll need to call you when she realises that she forgot that. Unless you’re the Hello Kitty fan in the family?” You tease gently, unable to hold back your laugh at the exasperated look on his face at his daughter's forgetfulness. Ah, the duality of being a parent. 

“God damnit, Sarah,” He frowns as he picks up the backpack, shaking his head in disbelief. “She would forget her own head if it wasn’t attached to her neck.” 

“See? She needs you.” You affirm, giving him an encouraging nod.

He chuckles, and the lingering sadness in his eyes seems to dissipate at the realisation that you were right. “Thank you,” he murmurs quietly, reaching out to give your forearm an appreciative squeeze. The sensation made heat rise to your face, and so you’re grateful when he turns around and begins to jog up to the cabin.

You watch for a moment, before turning around yourself and heading to your car. As much as you wanted to stay and talk to Joel, it was probably best to start the long drive back without letting yourself linger in the way his smile made you feel.

As you take your seat behind the steering wheel and begin to buckle yourself in, you think about how the handsome man looked you up and down, letting his eyes linger for a second too long on your body before they returned to your face. Tapping your fingernails against the steering wheel for a couple of minutes, you considered if maybe you should have hung back for just a moment longer, before deciding that you were probably overthinking things.  

You practically jump out of your skin at the urgent rapping of knuckles against the car window next to you. You see Joel standing there, chest slightly heaving as if he was out of breath. The window squeaks as you roll it down to face him while he leans down to speak to you once more. 

“Sorry, I-uh,” He swallows nervously, and takes a second to catch his breath, “I didn’t realise that you went back to your car– I just. Would it be alright if I got your number?” He asks in a rush, holding out a beat up old blackberry that had its battery duct taped in.

He must have sensed your confusion as he quickly continues, “It’s just. What you said, about independence. Maybe I should make the most of some time alone. Maybe…I don’t know, I could take you out, or somethin’” The way he shifted his weight nervously despite the casual words he used made you want to giggle at his expense. 

“Really? You’re not going to be too busy moping around?” You tease, despite taking the phone from his hand and beginning to type in your own number.

He laughs sort of breathlessly, relief tinging his words as he explains “The second I walked in there she ran over and gave me a big hug. Said she missed me already.” He didn’t bother fighting the grin on his face, “Couldn’ bring myself to tell her off for forgetting her bag.”

You laugh as you pass his phone back to him, heart beating faster as your fingertips brushed in the exchange of the device. 

“I’ll be fine,” He says, tone sure and even, as he looks at your number with a soft smile. “Really.”

a/n: again, this is for the pedro pascal cinematic universe discord server! please join if you want to :) we're nice, i swear!!

also, PLEASEEEE let me know what you think! posting is so nervewracking!!!

[bleetusmcyeetus]

WOOOOO TREASUREBOX CONFIRMATION LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO

HOLY SHIT TODAYS EPISODE FUCKING GOT ME. SO MANY THINGS HOLY CRAP

1. Mom. MOM. FC YOU ARE SO FUCKING ADORABLE (I mean you did kinda mess up saying that but that’s not your fault!! You didn’t know!!) AUGHHHHHH MY SON

2. So that’s not Puppet, obviously. Puppet and Eclipse are still stuck in the Negative Dimension, and now Poppet has made it to our dimension. They’re being really good at pretending to be Puppet, which makes sense, but also sucks because until Moon or someone realizes that the secret phrase isn’t being said, no one’s gonna know. Speaking of that, when they told Monty to “read the text out loud” of the code, that didn’t sound like a “oh just read it when you have time”, that was a “read it out loud to me right now” because Poppet probably doesn’t know what it is, and they’re gonna need to find out quickly to not be caught.

3. Poppet has all of Puppet’s memories, right? Which means FC calling her Mom really hasn’t happened before. God that hurts, he called her Mom and she isn’t even there to know 😭

4. OH MY FUCKING GOD. MONTGOMERY GATOR. I love Monty (my husband fr <3), don’t get me wrong, but OOOOH is it so hard to like them sometimes. Just an absolute ass the entire episode, like I get that you need money right now and stuff but c’mon. At least TRY to give them some privacy, even if it was Poppet that talked to them about it, that still means Puppet didn’t want it to get out, and you could at least TRY to negate some of the damage. God. And still pushing to maybe have Foxy do it again? Dawg he is IN A RELATIONSHIP. WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF EARTH STARTED GOING ON FAKE DATES?

5. As the self-proclaimed #1 believer of treasurebox ever since the ep. a few months ago of the fake kidscove date I have been WAITING eagerly for this. And now it’s happened :DD Yippee!!

[plushiebimbo]

This won’t be like super awesome or something but here we gooooooooo-

Good mornin- or Evening, I guess

The sunset that shines it’s last beams.

The slow ticking of the alarm clock.

The calm and breathing air that settles before the night dwellers awake.

Yuli snuggles into the pillow that they held, hoping to sleep just a little bit more before having to hear the alarm go off, signaling that it’s time to get up and work. Despite the need of wanting to sleep, their body slowly stirs, knowing that it’s an inevitable thing. They can only let out a weak groan as have this internal struggle with themselves; causing them to not notice the grasp on their waist getting tighter.

Alucard presses his lips on the back of their neck, slowly turning into actual kisses as he himself starts to wake. Alucard carries the kisses to the smaller vampire’s cheek, making him giggle as Yuri slowly wakes up to the tenderness of their form. He looks over at Alucard and gives him a half tired smile, his sentence being cut off by a yawn: “Good morning, dearest.”

“Good evening. Slept well, pet?” Alucard answered back, a soft look in his eyes but his usual grin taking up his face.

“As well as dead can sleep. Wish we could for a few more minutes.” They stretch, sitting up from the shared bed that Alucard and Yuli slept in. They crack the joints that got stiff and stuck, making them let out a moan of relief as their spine cracks into place.

“It would be delightful, but then a few minutes would turn into an hour, and a hour would turn into the whole night.” Alucard shared, sitting up from his spot, “And that would turn into Sir Integra being rightfully furious with us, pet.” He finally add, booping Yuri’s nose. They sniffled, getting up from the bed to start getting dressed into their proper uniform.

Yuli takes a moment to put the dress and apron on, making sure each button was buttoned up and each bow was tied. He sits at the vanity, putting on their usual make up of red and black eyeshadow and blood red lipstick.

“I do not simply understand how you insist on getting ready like that. It’s so tedious and takes up time. Didn’t you learn how to manifest your own clothes?” Alucard scoffs. In a blink he’s already dressed in his usual attire; the red trench coat and shades. Yuri only smiles as they finish their makeup, moving on to putting their hair up into a white scarf.

“I have learned; I just prefer not to. What happens if I forget to keep them on? Wouldn’t want to be caught naked. Tho…” they turn their head towards him as he gets close to them, “You wouldn’t mind seeing that, I’m sure others would.”

The lanky red vampire chuckles, it coming deep from his chest. He leans down and presses his lips on their neck, covering the vampire mark, continuing his perverted laugh into their skin.

“I think people should appreciate art at it’s fullest. Who wouldn’t enjoy looking at a body like that?~” Yuli rolls their eyes and pushes him off, getting up from their seat, putting on the rest of their uniform: stockings and sliver tipped boots.

“You’re only saying that because you know what you can do to please me.”

“True… but I also know how to make you shiver for more. Make you think of nothing else. Drive you to madness. Make you beg fo-“ they stop him, their face becoming red as they try to chuckle their way out of this.

“Yes yes, we get it. Don’t need to get riled up before work, Al.” the blushing maid rolls their eyes and smirks. They give him a quick peck on his lips, having to stand on their tip-toes to reach a bit.

Yuli checks the clock one last time, acknowledging its time to head out and begin work. “I’ll be quiet busy. Dinner has to be made, some of the office rooms have to be clean, and whatever miscellaneous task Walter and Sir Integra has for me. I assume the moment you make yourself known to be a awake, you’ll be sent off to a mission or few. The possibilities of us seeing each other before sunrise might be slim.”

As Yuri explains, Alucard smirks and wraps his arms around them one last time, embracing the smaller figure. He takes in the sent and soft feeling of them, the little maid making his insides jump a bit whenever he hold them. Yuli softly moans, nuzzling their head onto the hit man’s chest, feeling a jolt of life spark through them one last time. The give each other one last kiss before Yuri takes the handle of the door, ready to open it.

“One last thing.”

“Ye-EEEAAAS!?” Yuli jumps a little bit, feeling Alucard’s large hands grab at their ass, squeezing it in the process. Yuri swears they can feel their heart beat out of their chest.

“For good luck~” Alucard laughs, watching the short vampire turn bright red at the feeling. They huff and open the door.

“H-hurry up and get going before I change my mind about being nice to you!! I swear you do this to cause me trouble.” He grumbles, rubbing their butt a little bit at the aggressive assault on their cheeks. Alucard laughs as he walks out the door, his body slowly merging with the shadows as he begins his shift at the graveyard.

“Cannot wait to see you soon, my lovely pet~”

[bigassbowlingballhead]

Sometimes I think about the fact that Mary and George is gonna be this dramatic gripping tv show while it could literally also be a comedy. Like think about it George dancing for James to get his attention then his advisors wanting rid of the old favorite so they help to get a new twink in with help from the wife only to realize after being successful that this one is way worse. To then George getting all the power he should not have and kinda failing at a lot of his jobs only for James to keep promoting him anyways and on top of that standing in front of the whole parliament basically saying I love this himbo and I’m going down with him. Then just James and George consistently being drama queens when they don’t get what they want and James just literally becoming more and more pathetic. George then becoming closer to his lovers son who in the end also becomes obsessed with him (non sexually but still). This all then ends in George killing off his lover and playing the heartbroken widow and Charles defending him with his life. Only for George to get assassinated anyway and his killer getting celebrated because all of England was just irritated and completely done with George at this point and the only man throwing a fit about it being his by his hands murdered lover‘s son.

you know what it's going to be the best unintentional comedy packaged as a historical drama we've ever seen. and honestly, i think that makes it better.

George: does something big and dramatic

the audience: look at this twink GOOOOOOOOO

[recurring-polynya]

Request Time!

I am sure this is a categorically terrible idea, but I am too squirrel-brained to pick a writing project to work on, but also I'm tired of not writing and additionally, I am puffed up on my own hubris from hitting 1M words on AO3, so let's gooooooooo!

I am taking requests from now until I get tired of this! I promise I will write at least one thing! I do not promise when that will be!!

This is a fanfic event

I will do the ones that speak to me the most. It’s not first-come, first-served! If you have a good idea, send it in! It's fine to send in more than one!

I delete the requests that I don’t accept.

No theme this time! Anything goes!

Here are some tips:

I do have anon asks on, but if you log in, it means I can ask questions if I need to, plus it makes me feel like we’re friends when I get a name with the request.

Ideally my short fiction comes out between 1k and 2k, so we’re usually talking just a scene or two. I am notoriously bad at sticking to this.

You can see all my previous short fiction here. (Each yearly volume has a table of contents in the first chapter). Try not to request things that I’ve done before, unless it’s explicitly a continuation. Alternatively, you can check out some of my previous request tags like 500 Follower Drabble Weekend or What If Requests

You can request extra scenes from my existing fanfics.

The best requests are specific enough to be inspirational, but not so overconstrained that you’ve basically written the whole thing yourself. Specifying a set of characters is okay, but it’s better if you add a setting or a scenario or a mood. Think about what the description would be if you had to post it to ao3 yourself.

If you read my blog and/or my fanfic, you will probably get a good idea of which characters I love and the kinds of things that delight me and the things that do not. I primarily do these requests for the benefit of my regular readers, so if this process is biased towards them, that is by design.

Here's a list of stuff I am probably going to say no to. If you feel like you know me really well and have a killer idea that you think I'll love, go ahead and hit me with it, but otherwise, please don't.

Reader/x (this is a hard no, don't even ask)

Kidfic

Any ships that are captains/their lieutenants or Karakura Kids/shinigami. No Aizen ships period.

The only endgame romantic ship I will write for Renji or Rukia is Renruki. I might be open to some explorations during their separation years or like some weird AU thing that's Wrong on Purpose, but in both these cases, you're getting undercurrents of Renruki for free, whether you want them or not. The only Byakuya ship I will write is Byahisa. Friendships and other kinds of non-romantic relationships are always welcome!

Anything featuring Sternritter, aside from as villains. Actually, same goes for Nnoitra and Szayelaporro. Mayuri also on extremely thin ice, but I have a lot of Mayuri-loving pals on this site, so I might be convincible with the right prompt.

I am not explicitly ruling out NSFW, but you gotta give me a good hook, I’m only good at writing smut if it’s weird. The only smut I will write is Renruki. Also, my smut is always super consensual, no exceptions.

Send your requests to my Askbox!

Aug 24: Requests are now closed! Thanks everyone!

[donut-cloud]

Lifesteal incorrect quotes

Spoke: I took a calculated risk but boy I am I bad at math

Vitalasy: Wow, all of lifesteal lost power.

Subz: You know, I’ve always kinda liked blackouts. Listen to how quiet it is. It’s so peaceful.

[ Lifesteal being Lifesteal. ]

Subz: Nope, it immediately turned into a purge. Way to go, Lifesteal.

*Everyone blowing up and killing everything in sight*

Life-stealers : LETS GOOOOOOOOO

Clownpierce: If there is such a thing as true love, I’m sure I’ll never find it.

Branzy: Oh don’t worry! I’m sure that you’ll find it someday. Maybe you and I can find it together.

Clownpierce , under his breath: I think I just found it.

In circus...Branzy wanted to surprise Clown for his anniversary...

Clownpierce : What is one thing I told you not to do?

Branzy: Don't burn the circus down...

Clownpierce : And what did you do?

Branzy: Made you dinner~

Clownpierce*Raises an eyebrow at him*

Branzy:...

Branzy:... and burnt the house down

Poafa: Can I share a hotel room with someone else? Zam has a really weird alarm.

Vortex: What do you mean?

Poafa: It’s a recording of him going, “Come on Barbie, let’s go party” over and over, but he just gets more terrifying each time.

Zam: Tell me a single time you didn’t sing along.

Poafa: …

Vortex: He has a point.

Poafa: Goddamnit.

Subz: Do you think he's the one for me?

Woogie: Vitalasy? Oh, yeah. He's tons of fun and you're no fun at all. He completes you.

Ro: Mappic… Did it hurt?

Mappic: What? When I fell from heaven? 

Ro: No. when you died.

Mappic:

Mappic: What the fuck do you think? It was a damn crowbar and a bomb. You tell me.

Things said out of context

Leo: You know, everytime we have to say "technically it's not murder" it doesn't sound as great as we hope it so.

-------------

Branzy, very tired: I suppose I shouldn't ask about the Bomb flying of your window this morning?

Zam: I'd really hope you not.

--------------

Spoke: I'm JUST SAYING, that IF "hypothetically" WE both showed up in battle  wearing  parrot onesies, hood down and then lifted up the hood just to show matching mowhawks we could both have the joy to see everyone  pissing on their pants.

Parrot putting his book down: I'm listening.

----------

Rekrap: Just- Just be nice about it, for once in your life okay?

Pangi: Hn. (lying)

-----------

Branzy: I'd like to remind all of you that I have a terrifying death clown.

Vitalasy: The fuck you mean by that????

Branzy: No reason. Just saying. In case we all forgot.

------------

Ashswag: We are all aware that Spepticale isn't fond of violence *loads glock*.

-------------

Spepticale, 10 years old talking about Ashswag to Clutch : Yeah, he just comes here, eat all our food, argues with Reddoons for 45 minutes and goes away.

--------------

Pangi, 15 years old, also talking about Ashswag to his school friend: He just comes here-

---------------

Branzy, very, very tired: So... a bomb.

---------------

Terrain: Do it.

Cube: Dude what the fuck.

---------------

Zam, 7 nights awake in a roll: Do you think if I just scream loud enough Clown will come here and put me out of my misery.

Mid, 12 nights awake in a roll: He won't.

---------------

Mid  at 3 am: I'll pay you fifty bucks if you pretend you never saw me here

---------------

Zam, 17 years old: The fuck are you doing here.

Clown, with a shitty ass grin showing the engagement ring on his finger: I live here.

Zam:..

Branzy: Listen-

Zam: Some of you still don't eat the crust on your sandwich like absolute fucking cowards. It's just bread. Are you a toddler? Does your mommy tuck you in? Eat the crust, you stupid baby.

Also Zam

Zam: BRANZY THERE'S CRUST ON MY SANDWICH

Spoke: Clown, can I have a silenced pistol?

Clown: Shouldn't you ask Branzy?

Spoke: He said no. 

Clown: Then why're you asking me?

Spoke: Because he's not the boss of you.

Clown: It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a trap.

Bacon: how do you ask someone out?

Vitalasy: Well, first-

Subz: Don't ask him, he asked me out in a McDonalds parking lot.

Bacon: …And you said yes?

Clown, to Branzy: We had a date!

Branzy: *aggressively points to Spiderman Coloring Book*

Ro: Hey guys what’s up?

Mappic: Silence! this is a debate I intend to win.

Ro: huh?

Clown *eating popcorn* : You’re gonna wanna see this 

Jaron: BY FAR IT IS ONLY LOGICAL TO ASSUME- 

Mid: LOGIC HAS NO PART YOU’RE JUST BIASED

Clown: They’re fighting over who was the one which caused the most chaos 

Ro: 

Ro *reaches for popcorn* 

Clown *slaps his hand* : Nuh-uh Ro only the one with the title of MOST CHAOTIC lifestealer gets to eat popcorn 

Spepticale: YOU ARE A LITERAL ASSASSIN WHOS TRIED TO MURDER SEVERAL PEOPLE 

Clown: REMIND ME OF YOUR BODYCOUNT?! 

Ro: what now-

Clown: THAT WAS BARELY ANY  

Spoke: I was literally broke ALL the rules in lifesteal AND SUMMONED THOUSANDS OF MOBS

Clown: You’re all just competing for second place 

Ro: .. wait what about me? 

Everyone *stops and stares* 

Mappic: Ro, this is serious

Parrot: Yeah dude I remember your reputation and you haven’t changed 

Branzy: .. are you all done? 

Zam: BRANZY! Just who we want to see! So.. tell us, who was the most chaotic lifestealer ever 

Branzy*without hesitation* : Ro 

 Rek: Yeah it was Ro

Everyone:………

Ro*steals popcorn* : Y’all better start putting respect on my damn name

—————————

Behind the scenes

Ro: 2 hearts for you to say me 

Branzy: deal

--------------------------

I attempted  to write angst but kind of gave up in the end 

Momento mori = remember you must die (learned this in my arts class)

He stood near the cliff as the sun was setting. The wind blew his black hair left and right. The sun in front of her created a golden lining almost too faint to see. He watched him not wanting to disrupt the incredibly angelic scene in front of him.

In hopes of replicating his feelings, Branzy took a deep breath and walked towards Clown. As he turned around, he expected to see his bright red eyes almost gaze into your soul, you stared at them for long enough. Clown's head had turned around by the time his head was out of the clouds.

Branzy gaped in shock as he backed away, Clown’s eyes had been gouged out, and his lips, as well as his skin, had been ripped off of his face, blood was dripping down from everywhere, and the blood gushing from his eye sockets made it look like he was crying out blood, The bacteria in the air had started to rot away at his muscles. The blood continuously dropped on the green grass, turning a deep shade of maroon.

Branzy stared at him in shock and horror. He tried to run but couldn't. No matter how hard he tried something in him wouldn’t let him.

*************************

Branzy jolted awake as sweat dripped down his forehead. His breath became shaky as he tried to calm himself down from his nightmare. 

It had been years since Clown had passed away but even to this day, he couldn’t escape the guilt. Clown died because of him. It was his fault. If he had never taken the job, Clown would be with him. 

But life gives no second chances.

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

ep 10 stray thoughts:

- prom forgetting nants face and realizing he likes nont more…….. screaming

- they actually went for chicken noodles

- hold on is this guy a reporter or tutor ?? also porsche better not be doing what i think he is

- hold on was aob also in a contract with daddy?!?!?! oh we’re finally getting the aob backstory aob enthusiasts let’s gooooooooo. aob baby come home to me i’ll take care of you i swear!!!!! please!!!!

- puen wants me…

- aob puen…………… i will be withholding my reaction at this time….. [explodes into a thousand pieces]

- firstzouey being iconic besties yet again i love them. first my baby boy…

- porsche don’t start beef with bobbed bitch you should know this!!! nvm he rolled up in a crop top odds are tipping in his favor.

- nonts dad can just get cctv footage, who is he?!?!?!?

- the product placement sidjshhdhdjsjd crying

- i KNEW the psychologist wasn’t a good idea. conflict of interest ass scenario first you gotta go outside the family for it

- no not the bribe?!?!?! soong baby boy get those whacks in!!!! oh shit what is he showing soong that made him freeze in those pointy ass shoes

- i love the friendship they’re showing this ep. THE FUCK DID PORSCHE COME FROM HE JUST APPEARED. teena being a comedic king

- is captain wearing the brazilian colors?!?!

- i don’t trust nont in a good mood… oh his parents are politicians. I BET ITS PROM IN THE MASK OH SHIT OH FUCK

- WHAT??!?! WHAT WHAT WHAT THE OLD GUY WHAT WHA

- kejdjjdu is that porsche behind the door?!?? “you don’t know that he hates you he might just be dead” like bro bffr oh it’s nont, nont bffr

- see porsche how don’t care how many crop tops you wear you deserve to have your ass whooped

- leaving captains nosey ass alone was a mistake keen. like ?? but to be fair his weird ass always up to something unpredictable

- hold on- what’s going down between keen and puen?!?!!

- NUTHPHOP MY BELOVEDS also what the hell DOES nuth keep in that cage NUTH IS MY SPECIAL LITTLE MAN THATS MY MAN SHOUTOUT TO MY MANNNNNNN EVERYTIME HE SMILES NATURE HEALS ITSELF ITS LIKE THE FIRST CHIRP OF THE MORNING BIRD AFTER A LONG HARD WINTER ITS LIKE THE SUNRISE AFTER A COLD NIGHT ITS LIKE THAT FIRST SIP OF WATER WHEN YOUR THIRSTY ITS LIKE LAYING DOWN AFTER A LONG DAY STEPPING OUT OF THE SHOW AFTER BEING SOAKED TO THE BONE IN SWEAT ITS LIKE THE MOST DECADENT CHOCOLATE YOUVE EVER TASTED LIKE WAKING UP WELL RESTED LIKE THE SUNSHINE LIKE THE BREEZE THAT CARRIES SOUNDS OF LIFE WHEREVER IT TRAVELS LIKE A BEAUTIFUL SUNSET LIKE A REFRESHING RAIN LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE

- CAPTAIN YOURE TRIFLING ASS IS DONE YOURE FINISHED IM GONNA GET YOU

- zouey being the voice of reason, unless he’s wrong then he’s a clown just like the rest of em

- IS FIRSTS DAD SOONGS NEW SUGAR DADDY?!?!?!?!

- not calling first a monster, also what is happening

- nvm i don’t need to get captains ass keen gonna get him for me WHY DID THE CAMERA PAN TO THE MASK LIEK THAT?!,!?

- aob nooooo literally nothing more devastating than person who didn’t believe love was in the cards for them getting betrayed like nooooooo

- I KNEW IT WAS PROM WHAT IS NANT DEAD SO MUCN IS HAPPENING AHHHHHHHHH

what an episode… holy fuck