#i don’t want to bring it to a more complete stage

[luveline]

hey love! first of all: i have to admit i started watching criminal minds for the first time earlier this year only bc of your spencer fics! can we get more stripper!reader and spencer? love your writing!!!

thank you!! It’s a slow routine. You begin in a crouch in your underwear, just like at the club. Chest to your knees, arms twisted with the backs of your hands touching. But, unlike at the club, this underwear is comfortable. There’s nobody watching, and you won’t make any tips. You don’t have a pole nor a stage. 

You run through the routine but forgo any pole tricks. You stretch for long, slow minutes, dancing from one space to another. The music in your head isn’t anything you’d play at home, but it works to keep time. You end on your knees again. 

It’s not fun. 

You stretch toward your phone and pick it up. Spencer’s texted you twice in the ten minutes you weren’t on it. 

Hi gorgeous, the first begins, do you want to sleep over? I can make you dinner. 

The second, Sorry, I don’t think I’ve ever called you gorgeous before, is that weird? Please come over and pretend I didn’t say that if it was weird

A third pops up while you’re reading. Can I come get you? 

You text him back with pleasure. He’s the only guy in your life who talks to you just to talk, without thinking he could fuck you if he says enough right things, even though he has fucked you. Hi babe you can call me anything it’s not weird, I’ll come over! Not working this week, maybe I can stay two days(?) let me know so I can pack enough clothes 

You can stay all week, if you want to. I miss you 

You imagine him holding his phone, his cheeks pink with blush. 

I miss you too, you text back. 

Just bring what you want to and we can work it out later

Working it out later could mean anything with Spencer. He’s silly enough to try and put you in his clothes, and generous enough to take you shopping if it saves the time it takes to drive you home. 

You’ve packed a bag of clothes and shower things when your phone rings. Spencer’s contact photo covers the whole screen, the two of you together with your face cut out, his smile wide. You were both a teeny bit tipsy. 

“Hello?” you answer, bringing the phone to your ear. 

“Hi!” He sounds nervous. “I’m outside. Am I gonna get towed?” 

“Not if you stay in the car. I’m on my way down right now.” 

“Okay, see you in a second,” he says. 

He never looks comfortable behind a steering wheel. You aren’t sure why he doesn’t sell his car, maybe because it’s dirt cheap to maintain. He never seems happy to be driving is all. 

He smiles when you approach his door, which is better. He rolls down the window. 

“Are you okay?” he asks. You bend at the knees to see him better. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“I had a weird feeling about you, like you weren’t alright.” 

You lean down further. “I’m okay.” 

He grins. You’re waiting for a kiss he doesn’t give, finding yourself a subject for his staring, completely still as his gaze follows around your face. He makes no move to kiss you, and for a moment insecurity blossoms. 

“Well, you look okay. Are you getting in? It’s cold,” he says, nodding toward the passenger side.

“No help with my bags?” you ask, closing the door when he tries to open it. “Kidding.” 

You round the hood and climb inside. Then Spencer kisses you, polite but emphatic, one on your lips and another just under your jaw as he squeezes your shoulder. You feed into them lovingly.

“Maybe you can stay at my place forever? That way I can stop missing you all the time,” he says, pulling away slowly. 

“And when the mystery is gone?” you ask. 

“I don’t want mystery with you.” 

Spencer takes your bag from your lap and shoves it into the back seat. You drop the smaller one on your shoes. 

“Do you wanna get pizza or something?” he asks. 

You hold your jaw where he’d kissed you. “Sure,” you say, tingles of his kiss lingering under your hand. 

“Or Chinese? What do you want?” 

You want more kisses, but you love that he always gives you options. “Pizza for sure. Curly fries, too. Hold my hand?” 

Spencer takes it with gusto over the gearstick, and whatever felt like it was missing earlier fills itself in. “Wait,” you say softly, before he can take the car out of park, “just…” You grab his side and drag him toward you for a hug. Holding hands wasn’t gonna be enough —Spencer doesn’t know it yet, but you love him, love how safe he makes you feel, love how fun he makes your life. You can be yourself with him, no matter who that really is.

Spencer holds you, his hand across your shoulder blade rubbing soft lines. 

[kikyoupdates]

Girlfriend-For-Hire ⭑˚🦋⭑ 𝟶𝟸

yandere!ocs x f!reader

yandere, reverse harem, yandere reverse harem, original characters x fem!reader, slowburn, slowburn yandere

Hoping to try something new and earn a bit of money on the side, you join an app that lets people hire you for your dating services. The idea is pretty straightforward — you pose as the client's girlfriend for a brief period of time, and in turn, you receive payment. But you didn't foresee everyone getting so attached to you, and suddenly, they're no longer satisfied with a fabricated relationship.

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“Shit. I know it’s a bit late now, but I really don’t want to be here.”

Isaac exhales shakily. You’ve just arrived at your destination and are standing awkwardly in front of his parents’ house. He’s clearly reluctant to go in, no doubt dreading whatever is about to unfold. 

You flash him a sympathetic smile. Since he went as far as to hire someone to act as his girlfriend, he must be desperate to appease his parents. Life is difficult enough without being pressured to do things you don’t want. You just hope that after tonight, they’ll ease up and give him some space. 

“It’s going to be okay,” you promise. You’re not quite sure where you’re getting your confidence from, since this is your very first day on the job, but no matter what it takes, you intend to play your part. 

Even though you’re quite nervous as well, you still muster up the courage to reach out and grab Isaac’s hand. 

“We’ve got this,” you reassure, gently squeezing his fingers. “I’ve memorized everything you told me and I can recite it without a moment’s delay. They won’t be suspicious of us. I’ll do a good job.” 

Isaac briefly glances down at your comparatively smaller hand, which is tightly grasping his own. Whether it’s the warmth of your touch or the sincerity of your words, either way, he looks a bit more optimistic than he did a few seconds ago. 

“Okay,” he nods. “You’re right. I’m ready now. Let’s do this.” 

With a resolved expression, he rings the doorbell, and after a few moments, someone opens the door.

“There you are!” a woman beams. She must be Isaac’s mother, and you have to admit, she looks a lot friendlier than you were expecting. “I’m so glad you’re both here! You especially, [Name]. We were over the moon when we heard that Isaac was bringing his girlfriend!” 

Her gaze briefly pans down, and she notices the two of you are holding hands. This, of course, was completely intentional on your end, and by the looks of things, it seems to be doing a good job of convincing her. 

“Thank you so much for having me,” you smile politely. “It’s really nice to meet you. I hope I didn’t surprise you too much by showing up without much prior notice.” 

“Oh, of course not,” she reassures. “Isaac was the one who decided to keep us in the dark, for whatever reason. But it doesn’t matter. We’re just happy he’s finally found someone! It’s not good to be all alone at his age. He’s at the stage of his life where he needs to start seriously considering his future.” 

Isaac does his best to hide it, but you still notice how his lips momentarily split into a grimace. 

“I’m Mary-Ann, by the way,” his mother smiles. “My husband was just finishing up with setting the table. He can hardly wait to meet you as well.” 

You nod, still smiling pleasantly, and Mary-Ann leads you through the house until you reach the dining room, where Isaac’s father is waiting. 

Unlike his wife, who has a much more agreeable demeanor, he is stern-faced and imposing. To be honest, he kind of reminds you of your own father a bit. Both of them seem like the type to be needlessly strict and abstain from showing their child any affection. 

Then again, first impressions can often be misleading, so you could very well be wrong. 

“Isaac,” the man snaps. “What took you so long to tell us you were in a relationship? Do you get a kick out of deceiving your parents? I’m starting to get really fed up with your lack of respect. I didn’t raise you to be such a prick.”

…nevermind, you’re spot-on. 

“Come on, honey,” Mary-Ann scrambles to intervene. She must be the mediator in the family, or as close as it gets to one. “Don’t be so confrontational right off the bat. Let’s just focus on the fact that he actually has a girlfriend now, okay? Please help me make our guest feel at home.” 

Isaac’s father finally turns towards you, still with that cold look in his eyes, but again—you’re used to receiving the same treatment from your own father.

When it comes to dealing with shitty parents, you’ve got a lifetime of experience in your arsenal.

“It’s very nice to meet you, sir.” You maintain your smile, never allowing it to falter in the slightest. “I’m sorry if we surprised you with this news. I think Isaac was just trying to be considerate of me. I’m a very private person, and he probably didn’t want to tell his family right away to avoid putting pressure on me. But I really do apologize, and I’m glad that we’re finally meeting now.” 

You know all too well what kind of person he is. He values respect and subservience above all else, and so long as you tell him what he wants to hear, it should be fine. 

Well, theoretically, at least. 

But much to your relief, his irritation dissipates quickly enough at the sight of you. Just like his wife, he must be relieved that Isaac is finally seeing someone. It sounds like they’re extremely concerned with the state of his romantic affairs—even though they shouldn’t be. 

“Yes, it’s nice to meet you, [Name],” he nods, offering a tight-lipped, but genuine smile. “I’m Michael. There’s no need to apologize for anything. Isaac is our son, so it was still up to him to confide in us. But I guess what matters most is that he’s finally found himself a girlfriend. For a while there, we were worried that he might not even be interested in women, if you know what I mean.” 

You force yourself to keep smiling, despite the fact that your stomach just dropped. 

Just casually sprinkling in a bit of discrimination on our very first meeting. Fantastic. This is off to a strong start. 

“For fuck’s sake, Dad,” Isaac mutters under his breath.

Michael arches a brow. “Did you say something?” 

“...no.” 

It’s obvious that there’s friction between the two of them, and you can’t blame Isaac for wanting to bury this issue as quickly as possible. 

If you want to receive positive reviews—but above all else, to actually help someone—you’d better do a good job. 

“Anyways, the food is all ready, so please take a seat,” Mary-Ann says, gesturing towards the dining table. You offer her a smile in return, grabbing a seat just beside Isaac. You take it upon yourself to sit across from his father so that he doesn’t have to, and based on the appreciative look he gives you, it clearly doesn’t go unnoticed. 

Mary-Ann happily hums as she heads into the kitchen to bring the food out. You offer to help her carry a few plates, but she insists that you’re the guest and you don’t need to worry about a thing. 

“Your girlfriend has better manners than you do,” Michael tuts. “You should have been the one to offer to help your mother. I wonder when you’re going to grow up.” 

Isaac’s expression darkens. “Okay. You’re right. Sorry.” 

“There’s no point in apologizing. Just be more considerate in the future. Ever since you moved out, I can tell you’ve become rather self-centered.” 

Fucking hell. This really is like a sit-down with your own parents. It’s every bit as uncomfortable as you remember it being, but the only difference is that, as much as your parents were shitty to you, they didn’t go out of their way to air their dirty laundry in front of guests. 

Unfortunately, it seems like Michael doesn’t have that same decency.

Sensing Isaac’s discomfort, you decide to engage his father in conversation and take some of the attention off him. 

“So, Isaac tells me you’re a lawyer,” you say. “I heard you’ve handled all sorts of big cases before. I’ve always felt like it’s a very high-pressure job, especially for the lawyers that actually go to court. I’m amazed you can keep your calm in front of so many people. That’s really impressive.” 

You figure that stroking his ego is probably the best way to appeal to him, and thankfully, it turns out that you’re right. 

Michael clears his throat. “Yes, well, there’s no point in doing a job if you’re not going to do it properly. And it’s also true that not all lawyers can handle going to court, which is why they choose more niche areas of the law. But I find fulfillment in working as a defense attorney and keeping innocent people from ending up in prison. Back when I was younger, I was more enticed by the idea of working as a prosecutor, but I started to see things differently as I grew up.” 

“How so?” 

“Statistically speaking, most criminals are repeat offenders. Which means that even if they get lucky and are found innocent of one crime, they will later commit another and end up in jail regardless. I realized that rather than going after lowlives who would likely be punished at some point or another, my talents would be better suited for protecting innocent civilians from having their lives ruined beyond repair. There’s nothing more devastating than being sentenced for a crime you didn’t even commit,” he mutters disappointedly. “That’s why I’m there to make sure I can save as many people as possible.” 

You nod in understanding. What he’s saying makes sense, and in all fairness, he doesn’t strike you as being malicious or cruel—although perhaps quite strict and old-fashioned—but don’t defense attorneys also have to represent criminals every now and then? 

“I know what you’re thinking,” Michael chuckles. “Over the years, I’ve risen to a reputable position where I can afford to be picky with my clients. I do diligent research beforehand to determine whether it is truly someone in need of help, or a criminal looking to get away with their crime. Since I’m a private attorney, I’m not assigned to any cases without my volition. Of course, I realize not everyone is as fortunate to be selective in the way that I am, but this is ultimately the result of my own hard work. I painstakingly built up my career and am now in a place where I can take absolute pride in what I do.” 

You make a point to show that you're listening attentively, even though you can hear Isaac scoffing quietly from beside you. 

“But enough about me for now,” Michael dismisses. He casts a glance over his shoulder. “Ah, there comes Mary-Ann with the food. It smells delicious, honey. I can already tell you’ve outdone yourself.” 

Mary-Ann giggles while setting the plates down. “Save the compliments until you’ve actually tried it first. Anyways, is everyone ready to dig in?” 

You smile and nod, and it seems like Michael wasn’t just trying to get on her good side, because everything really does taste incredible. 

“Wow, you’re such a good cook,” you remark, covering your mouth as you finish chewing. “This is so yummy! It could seriously pass as a dish in a gourmet restaurant or something.” 

“Oh, please,” Mary-Ann blushes, but it’s clear that she doesn’t mind the flattery. 

“Yeah, this is really good, Mom,” Isaac seconds, happily digging in. 

“Mary-Ann has always been an amazing cook,” Michael says, eyes full of pride. “She probably could have opened a restaurant if she really wanted to, but she’s a woman of many talents and was already preoccupied with her career.”

It certainly seems like they’re still very much in love, which is a good thing, especially for married couples who’ve been together for many years. Still, it’d be nice if that warmth and affection extended to Isaac as well. You really wish his father was kinder to him. 

It’s quiet for a while, since everyone’s busy enjoying the first few bites, but you suddenly notice Michael’s gaze lingering on Isaac, and after swallowing his food, he scowls.

“You’re still wearing that earring,” Michael remarks in disgust. “Didn’t I tell you to get rid of it? People will get the wrong idea about you. It helps that you finally have a girlfriend now, but still. You’re going to be a doctor, for crying out loud. Put some thought into how you present yourself.”

Isaac narrows his eyes. “I don’t see what the big deal is. I’m still young. It’s not like I’m going to start working as a doctor anytime soon.” 

“People that see you for the first time will think that you’re shallow and cheap. You look like you’re supposed to be some kind of male stripper.” 

“And how would you know what a male stripper looks like?” Isaac challenges. 

Michael’s face turns dark red in an instant, and he slams his fist on the table, making the plates and cutlery rattle.

“Watch your goddamn mouth,” he warns. “I refuse to be disrespected in my own home. Not to mention in front of a guest.”

The tension is so thick you could probably cut it with a knife, but to you, this is more than just an uncomfortable dinner. This is a job, which means you need to remain professional and not let any of it get to you. 

“I think Isaac looks handsome no matter what,” you decide to interject. “He can pull off all kinds of things that most people can’t. But he clearly gets his good looks from both of you. I can’t help but be jealous of his genes.” 

Once again, empty flattery seems to be your escape, and Michael chuckles awkwardly, perhaps a touch embarrassed, but at least he’s not berating his son anymore. 

From underneath the table, Isaac squeezes your hand. You agreed beforehand that it was okay for him to hold your hand and hug you, so that your relationship didn’t look too stiff or forced, but this time, he isn’t doing it to put on airs. 

There’s a faint blush on his cheeks, and his eyes are full of appreciation. He even mouths a silent ‘thank you’.

You blink a few times. 

Was it really that big of a deal? I’m sure anyone else would have done the same. His dad keeps grilling him for no reason, and I feel uncomfortable being trapped in the middle. 

You suppose he’s probably not used to having someone be by his side while he has to deal with his father. At the very least, it seems your presence here is making somewhat of a difference. 

“You asked me a few questions earlier, so now it’s my turn to ask you,” Michael suddenly says. “Are you and Isaac roughly the same age? Are you still in school, or have you already graduated?” 

Well, it looks like it’s finally time for this part of the night. The part where you’ll have to seamlessly answer every question they throw your way. 

But it’s fine. You practiced for this. You studied all the information Isaac sent you as if you were preparing for an exam, and you’ve got all your facts memorized. Michael is a lawyer, so he’ll probably be looking for holes or inconsistencies in your story, but it doesn’t matter. 

You promised Isaac you’d be the best girlfriend he could ever ask for, and that’s exactly what you intend to do. 

“We go to the same university,” you reply confidently. “Actually, we’re in the same major too. That’s how we met. We have a class together. Isaac is always really on top of all the material, so he helped me study a bunch of times.” 

Michael looks rather pleased to hear that. “Oh, really? That’s good. I was worried he wasn’t keeping up with his studies, but I’m glad he’s been taking it seriously. So, you also plan on becoming a doctor?” 

“Yep! I know it won’t be easy, but I want to help people as much as I can,” you beam. 

“It’s great that you have so much in common,” Mary-Ann remarks. “Medical students have a big workload, so it’s nice that you can relate to one another. Even better if you can help each other study.” 

“Have you already taken the MCAT?” Michael asks. 

“I did,” you nod. “I passed it and got a pretty good score, so I’m just waiting to hear back from the medical schools I applied to. Hopefully Isaac and I can both start next year. It’d be nice if we ended up at the same school too.” 

“Perhaps it’s better if you go to separate schools,” Michael frowns. “Medical school isn’t easy for anyone, and I worry you might end up getting distracted. Maybe you’ve got a strong work ethic, [Name], but Isaac is prone to slacking off.” 

What slacking off? He told me he scored in the 90th fucking percentile, which means he’s all but guaranteed his top medical school choices.

You strain a smile. Honestly, it’s exhausting constantly seeing parents hold their children to ridiculous standards. You and Isaac have a lot in common in that sense. No matter what you accomplish, no matter how hard you push yourselves, it feels like they’ll just never be satisfied. 

“I’ve never seen Isaac get distracted,” you insist. “He’s probably got the best grades out of our entire senior year. Anyways, even if attending the same school would be nice, I think we’ll be fine no matter where we end up. We’re both willing to put in the effort.” 

Mary-Ann nods happily. She’s clearly the more easygoing of the two. She actually seems quite nice, all things considered. Michael is the real hard-ass around here. You just hope you’ve done a good job of convincing him so far.

“I guess medical school is still a ways off,” Michael acknowledges, taking a sip of water. “But I’m glad you scored well on the MCAT. It sounds like Isaac’s finally found himself a good girlfriend. You’re open to marriage, I take it?” 

Isaac tenses up. “Dad, please—” 

“Quiet. I was asking her, not you.” Michael turns back to you and smiles. “Well? I hope you’re not part of that new, incredibly stupid fad where young adults such as yourself choose not to get married. It’s very sad to see how people these days view marriage. If you’re not willing to commit to marriage, then really, do you even value the relationship at all?” 

“We’ve barely been dating for over a month,” Isaac grits out. “Don’t you think you’re freaking her out with the marriage talk? I’m sorry, [Name]. He’s clearly getting carried away.” 

“I’m not speaking as if the two of you are getting married anytime soon,” Michael sighs. “I just want to know what her take on marriage is in general. I want to make sure she doesn’t have twisted values like the rest of the younger population these days.”

Isaac is visibly uncomfortable, scratching incessantly at the back of his head. It must be some kind of nervous tic. He’s done it a couple times this evening. Poor guy clearly wants to get the hell out of here.

But you’re not about to get worked up over Michael’s intrusive questions. All of this is pretend, and thus far, you have yet to actually divulge any real facts about yourself. He doesn’t truly know what kind of person you are. He’ll probably never know. 

So, you smile, completely unfazed. 

“Of course marriage is important. If I’m confident about spending the rest of my life with someone, what reason is there not to get married?” 

Michael doesn’t respond verbally, but he nods and smiles, clearly pleased. All evening, you’ve done your best to appeal to him and convince him that your relationship with Isaac is the real thing, and he doesn’t seem suspicious in the slightest. 

Still smiling, you lean over and rest your head on Isaac’s shoulder. He knows exactly what you’re getting at, so he smiles back and wraps his arm around you, pulling you close. 

Both Michael and Mary-Ann watch with approving gazes. The tension has finally dissipated, and everyone is content. 

It looks like you might be better at this than you first thought.

“I’m bored of this relationship. Let’s break up.” 

Callum blinks lethargically. His pale gray eyes feel heavier by the second, and even though most people would normally be taken aback to hear those words spoken to them, at this point, it doesn’t even faze him anymore. 

“Didn’t you hear me?” his girlfriend—or rather, ex-girlfriend repeats. “I’m breaking up with you, Callum. I’m serious this time.” 

Yeah, right. 

How many times has she broken up with him by now? He’s honestly lost track. It always comes out of nowhere too. It’s as if she’s trying to catch him off guard or something. 

“Okay,” Callum shrugs. “I know it’ll blow over before long anyways. It always does. I bet you’re just in a shitty mood. Did your period come early?” 

His ex scowls, visibly disgusted. “It’s because you say those kinds of things that I don’t want to be with you anymore. You’re such an asshole.” 

“Come on, Nadia. Don’t act like we haven’t had this same conversation a million times by now. You always do this. So, I’ll give you space or whatever until you cool off. There’s no need to get so worked up.” 

“I said I was serious this time. I’ve wasted enough of my life on you.” 

With a derisive sneer, Nadia swivels around and struts off. The whole while, Callum watches with his hands shoved into his pockets. He doesn’t feel even a twinge of worry, because he already knows how this little game will end. She’s never once been serious about breaking up. Why should this instance be any different? 

But for the first time, he feels something other than indifference when it comes to being broken up with. 

He’s actually kind of pissed off.

Nadia’s been getting a little too carried away lately. She seems to think that just because he’s mellow and laid-back, it gives her the right to walk all over him. It’s a tiresome routine, and he’s gotten pretty sick of it. 

Even though he knows Nadia will come back to him, just like she always does, perhaps it’s time to teach her a lesson.

As chance would have it, he’s been hearing a lot of buzz about a new app recently. Some kind of companionship service that allows people to hire someone to act as their significant other for a period of time. 

Partner For Hire. Yeah. This is the one. 

Having downloaded the app, Callum proceeds to scroll through its catalog and see what it has to offer. Just as advertised, it looks like all kinds of people are offering their dating services at a certain price. Some assholes are charging ridiculous numbers just for a single day’s worth of fake dating. It’s actually kind of unreal, because as far as Callum is concerned, they’re really nothing special.

“No, no, no,” he repeats, scrolling endlessly through all the options. “God. None of these chicks are even that cute, and they expect me to blow a fuck-ton of cash on them? Get real.” 

Honestly, he’s kind of disappointed by how mediocre the options are. Then again, he figures it’s mainly losers that use this app. People that are too pathetic to be in a real relationship. 

The more he scrolls, the more discouraged he feels, because he doubts any of these women would be able to make his ex-girlfriend jealous. She has no reason to feel threatened over a downgrade, and none of these uggos are going to get the job done. 

Just as he’s about to toss his phone aside and consider another approach, he stumbles across a profile that actually catches his eye.

“Whoa,” he blinks. “She’s hot as hell.” 

Callum nods approvingly. Yeah. If it’s with someone like you, then even Nadia would have to reconsider her shitty choices. He’s already got a huge smirk just imagining how horrified she’ll be when he shows up with his “new” girlfriend in tow. 

Looks-wise, he’s hit the jackpot. There’s no guarantee that you’ll actually be up to his standards, but hey, he figures it doesn’t hurt to give it a try. 

More importantly, if Nadia sees you with him, she’s guaranteed to lose her shit. 

“Maybe next time you shouldn’t be so quick to break up with me,” he chuckles coldly. “Stupid bitch. You’ll be begging for me to take you back by the end of this.” 

[𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭?]

>> [𝐘𝐄𝐒]

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[steddieunderdogfics]

Today is all about @verdantcactus! In today’s Mod Spotlight, we’re highlighting Shane and all they bring to this space!!

Shane is the mod behind our Writer's Spotlights! Each week, she reaches out to authors, creates the recs, and coordinates the schedule! She also handles the questions and getting everything queued up to share with you.

Shane (She/They) has been in fandom for over 20 years and currently splits time between bandom and the Stranger Things fandom (with a strong Steddie focus). She doesn’t publish fic at the moment (but always has things vaguely in progress and at various stages of completion). Instead, she spends all of her time reading at least 100k words of fic a week on average (but frequently more honestly). She is fairly new at participating in the Stranger Things fandom and modding for Steddie Underdog Fics is her first step at participating more!

Shane has been a delight to have on the team! The spark they've shared with us has renewed the energy behind the scenes, inspiring all of us to come up with new ideas! It's been a pleasure to get to work with them. - @oh-stars

As a part of our mod spotlight, Shane answered some questions from you all and our team! You can read them below.

Be sure to stay tuned for more recs and future mod spotlights in the future!

What drew you to Steddie?

Watching their interactions in gifs to be honest. Their energy transcended needing audio for me I guess, I was just so sold. I really like the dynamic of the jock that fell from grace and the kinda awkward nerd. The fact that Eddie is into music and is kind of a wet and pathetic mess throughout the show is just icing on the cake for me. I find that I really get into ships where one of the characters is putting on a facade so to speak about who they are for the public and then in fic you get to see the takedown of that and realize who the character really is. Steddie fics seem to have a TON of that, because Steve is the popular jock who seems to be very bad at being popular and Eddie is the metalhead nerd who isn’t actually as tough as he projects and I will eat that up over and over and over.

What is your favorite thing about modding this page?

Seeing author reactions for sure! I thought coming into it that my favorite part would be seeing fics that are recced and adding to my own rec list, but honestly it’s seeing people be happy.

What are your favorite tropes to read?

SO MANY. Happy ending required but the ones I come to most often are Hurt/Comfort bc I like a little angst to drive a story forward I think. I also have been reading a lot of Fake Dating and weirdly enough Sports AU’s recently? Which is only funny bc I do not do sports IRL at all. I truly do not even know which sports go to which seasons of the year other than football and that is only because I worked retail and saw superbowl displays every year. A sports AU though? Eat that shit up.

What’s your guilty pleasure trope?

Ooooooh I don’t know that I really have a guilty pleasure trope to be honest! I will read most any trope, and also tell you about it if you ask and keep my AO3 bookmarks public too so it’s just… all out there to see if you look haha. I maybe talk less about reading like monsterfucker stuff or A/B/O stuff but that’s less bc it’s a guilty pleasure and more I have less people to rec those fics to haha. Basically cringe is dead and I’m happy that way! (:

What is your preferred way to read and find fics?

Always rec lists! I love to know that someone else was passionate enough about the fic to rec it going in. I follow a lot of people in fandom, and always make sure to follow people who post rec lists and I pillage those like it's my job for things to read. Very rarely if I want a SUPER specific trope, I will go to AO3 and filter to find a fic, but I have to really have a super specific craving for that. As for reading, I have kind of built reading fic into my daily routine. I wake up every morning and read specifically fic for at least an hour before I get up and feed my cat and get ready for the day. If I skip it because I overslept or something it feels like my whole day is off.

What makes a fic an instant yes for you to read?

A real good and unique premise! If the fic sounds like it is going to be a good time, I want to inhale it instantly.

Anonymous - Is there any older or lesser-known Steddie event from the past few years that you particularly love (if ongoing or recurring) or loved? Did you participate in any?

I really love the @subeddieweek event that happened this past summer, bc I think those fics are less common in the fandom and they were all great. I read through that event posting extensively. As for participating in events I actually haven’t. I write a little bit, but my problem is that I NEVER FINISH ANYTHING so I feel irresponsible joining an event knowing that my likelihood of finishing is so low…. I always say I want to join with the intent of finishing a WIP but either miss the sign up period or feel like I don’t have a solid enough draft to join with. Basically I and my anxiety are my own worst enemy. Maybe someday though!

@sidekick-hero - What makes a fanfic stand out for you?

I will read very nearly anything as long as it has a happy ending, but if someone has a snappy summary that is like an excerpt of the fic and then “OR Steve has X job and Y happens! The fic!” or whatever I will tend to be like hell yeah I wanna read that idea, you’ve sold me! And tend to move things up the endless TBR

@worldswcollide - What advice would you give to someone who is interested in becoming a mod in the future?

I think primarily just getting up the nerve to volunteer to do it! Fandom really is driven by the people in it, and cool things can only exist because people volunteer for them. Other than that once you start the best advice is to create some kinda routine around checking things which will help you with communicating effectively and getting things done. For me, I use a lot of phone alarms and reminders in the Finch app to make sure tasks get done when they need to lol.

Anonymous - Do you participate in any other fannish activities, like making playlists, gif edits, fanart, podcasts, Pinterest boards, etc?

Not much honestly! I wish I was more creative in those ways, but honestly I MOSTLY read. I write a tiny bit but never post anything bc I get nervous. I do bind fics into books sometimes and do it a lot for friends, but I don't really share them online. It’s just a quiet little hobby for me that makes birthday gifts for fandom people really easy.

@sidekick-hero - What motivates you to mod for steddieunderdogfics?

I really believe in the idea behind the blog. Author’s are so important and engagement really drives authors. I think it’s sad that so many really great fics get a little buried just because of the nature of the fast past of this fandom so to be able to shine a light on fics is just really great to me!

@worldswcollide -  Are there skills you’ve learned as a mod that have helped you in your everyday life?

Honestly? Formatting google sheets is the legit answer hahaha. I have been keeping track of fics I read on a massive google spreadsheet since like 2020 (because I love to reread fics and nothing bothers me more than being unable to find this one random fic that I remember a single scene from or just the vibe of) and when I became a mod I saw that big spreadsheet we have of all the recc’d fics and was like wait we can do dropdowns in google sheets?? Life changing. Currently I am in the process of sloooooowly redoing my own tracking sheet.

Anonymous - Have you had a particular favorite Challenge Monday or weekend theme so far (maybe because of the theme, the recs, or the engagement, or for some other reason)?

Oooh one that I was really excited for was the Prominent Pets challenge, that was one that I had suggested as a challenge bc I read Looks like we're in for nasty weather by prufrocks and loved Steve hanging out with Bruce so much I was like yes I want a hundred more fics with one of them hanging out with pets. And all the fics from that challenge I have either read or they are on my TBR waiting to be read now haha. I also am really excited for RomCom au’s coming up in Sept bc they are my fave to read, they are just so fun and that was a challenge I recommended!

@sidekick-hero - What do you like best about fandom?

My favorite part about fandom has always been reading fic. I CONSUME fic like nobody's business and honestly if a fandom doesn’t have fun and engaging fic for it, I probably will not stay active in that fandom for very long even if I LOVE the media property.

@worldswcollide - If you absolutely HAD to choose—enemies to lovers or friends to lovers? (At least when it comes to Steddie)

Oooh Friends to lovers every time. Enemies to lovers can be great, and I certainly read a ton of it! But also I love that kind of awkward shifting from becoming friends and really getting to know a person and then it's like oh shit actually I feel really intense about that person?? I will eat that up every single time.

Anonymous - Was there a specific moment or fandom interaction or show event that drew you into the ST fandom?

Really it was seeing all of the gifs on tumblr of Eddie. I had been meaning to watch Stranger Things for YEARS because my friend was like “this show is made for you” knowing that I love horror tv shows with really good cast dynamics but I hadn’t made the jump bc as soon as you tell me to watch something….. I suddenly am unable to watch it! Until I saw gif makers getting to work during volume 1 of season 4 and I was like look at this guy, I am obsessed. And then I was like “I want to read fic about this guy” and then I binged all of Stranger Things in like 2-3 days whoops. And now here I am probably forever!

@sidekick-hero - What makes you happy about modding?

A bunch of different things! I like working with both of my fellow mods on this project that I think is really important in a fandom with so many active events. It’s so great to see all the notes on posts for authors seeing their fics get recommended. I also get to reach out to authors for the Writer’s Wednesday spotlights as it is the area of modding I spend most of my time on and so I get to talk to everyone who has been nominated and they are always so happy to see someone nominated them! (so please always nominate your fave authors! It makes their day all the time! (: )

@worldswcollide - What gave you the last little shove you needed to become a mod for this fandom?

In general I am such a shy person that I never really put myself out there in any way. BUT at the same time I am always trying to push myself further because I long for fandom friends despite the overwhelming shyness. So when I saw the call for more mods I thought I should prob try it because it seemed like a kind of small scale way to start to be more active in fandom since you are only working with a few people at a time! It’s less overwhelming than a massive discord server to me.

Anonymous - Do you feel like your participation in bandom bleeds over into your engagement with ST fandom? For instance, being drawn to fics with a focus on band/rockstar/musician themes, or some other example you'd be comfortable highlighting?

Oooh this is a really good question actually. I think yes, but not always in ways you expect? Like it mostly gave me a love for really really niche au’s hahaha. I LOVE a niche weird job kind of au, like give me all of the Steve is a park ranger AU’s. I will say though that I also have likeeee 13k of a fic written where Steve goes on tour with Corroded Coffin as a merch guy and they eat in a lot of diners that I will maybe finish up someday and post and that definitely has bandom energy from watching so many tour diaries over the years.

@sidekick-hero - Reading as much as you do (WOW!): When does a fanfic stay on your mind even after finishing it? (I would love to hear about the last one that did stay with you)

I think most commonly fics stay with me when there’s some detail that’s like really unique or specific to that fic (like I read so many post season 4 fics they have to do something really new for me to remember like ‘OH THAT FIC RIGHT’ off the top of my head.) or they have to have some vivid character details that made me really really obsessed with the fic. I do remember a shocking amount of fics considering the sheer volume of what I read though so it’s not like I just read and instantly forget haha. Some ones that I’ve read recently that are still kicking around in my head are: better by you, better than me by palmviolet which I read while it was posting so that fic lives rent free in my head forever now as thee fic where Eddie was there from the beginning and the level of historical and musical detail in that fic is beautiful, Of Paper Stars And Pudding Cups by SameShipDifferentFont which I read slowly over a week because I was busy but as soon as I started it I was like “oh I wanna INHALE this” bc I was obsessed with Steve and Eddie’s interactions in it, and blinking red light by cuips_not_cute which is my current in progress fic that I’ve been on my edge of my seat waiting for every chapter update bc I want to see them actually COMMUNICATE someday bc that tension makes me feral.

Anonymous - What kind of fic formats do you prefer: longfic, one-shots, short chapters, long chapters, series-as-chapters, etc? Do you find that you read faster or slower with particular formats?

So I will read mostly anything that’s at least 1000 words (anything shorter and my brain doesn’t QUITE kick into focus mode for me to even have a thought about what I read). Preference wise though I LOVE LOVE LOVE a mega long fic. On weekends when I don’t have a lot of commitments I will love to pick like a massive 200-300k or longer fic and just INHALE it for the entire weekend till I’m like “wow I wonder why I have a headache? -said in the tone of someone who has been staring at a screen in the dark for the past 13 hours-” As for formats.. I tend to read best and fastest when I send fics to my kindle. That little device is a fic machine for me and I love it dearly. A very common sight is me cooking or doing dishes in my apartment with the kindle propped in a cabinet or something. But I will sometimes randomly just swap formats for a week and read exclusively on my phone or on a tablet or print something out and be carrying around sheets so really I am a mood reader that way!

@sidekick-hero - How can we make participating in the steddie fandom even more fun for you?

Always feel free to reach out to me on tumblr (@verdantcactus)! I read so much and always want to talk about fics I’ve read. So if you ever want to just chat about fics or even have some kind of specific recs you wish someone could give you.. My inbox and messages are always open (:

Today, all of our recs are from @verdantcactus specifically! You can always see their recs on our Fic Fridays by checking our #mod shane rec tag.

[astfut]

[hshouse]

-

[lovelettersfromluna]

Too Sweet

Summary: Getting divorced from your ex wife after a measly two years of marriage wasn’t exactly your plan, so now you’re packing up and moving back to your quiet small town, will old flings bring back even older feelings?

an: Count on me to hop from dark brooding vampire Ellie to high school sweethearts Ellie within the same month. Let’s just be completely honest, are you even apart of this community if you haven’t dabbled in mechanic!ellie? Long story short, I’m a sucker for a summer romance, so I hope you all enjoy!

Warnings: MDNI!! eventual smut in later chapters!!, this one is sickly sweet I’m sorry (but also very angsty), reader is a bit of a tough cookie at the beginning of this (her hearts broken and her walls are back up what do you want me to do), mentions of cheating (no main characters don’t worry, mentions of alcohol consumption (all characters are 21+ ofc), lots of flashbacks, lots of kissing, pet names (baby, princess, angel, and a few special ones), mentions of cigarettes, pls lmk if I missed anything!!

Read part 2 here!!

The summer breeze was cool against your body, the linen blanket protecting your bare legs from the prickly grass, the stars even seemed extra brighter, almost putting on a show for you and Ellie as you both gazed up at them.

The summer after your senior year of high school seemed to pass by in the blink of an eye. One moment, you were walking across the stage in front of your entire class, taking she diploma you’d worked for since you were in kindergarten, all of those countless years of school finally coming to that moment, and the next, you’re laid out on the ground in your backyard with Ellie, soaking in the feeling of your last night together before it was time to leave for college.

You noticed Ellie’s hand reach up, finger pointing to a small pair of stars at the very corner of the deep navy blue sky.

“See those two? Tucked away in the corner? I think that one’s us…” she hummed out. It sounded like she was sure of it too, like it was a well known fact that she was simply sharing with you. It makes you giggle, rolling over to straddle the girl beneath you.

And it’s like the very stars above are in her eyes when she’s looking up at you, her hands caressing your soft, bare thighs, watching as your hair frames your face oh so perfectly. One of her hands reaches up, tucking it behind your ear as she gives you a soft smile.

“Who told you could be so fuckin pretty?” She pouts out playfully, almost angry with how beautiful you are. It makes you roll your eyes, bringing your hand down and giving her cheek a soft pinch.

“Shut up…” you mumble out, quickly becoming shy beneath your girlfriend’s gaze.

In that moment, you realize just how much you’ll miss moments like this. You were going off to the big city to live your dreams and go to college, and Ellie was staying behind because frankly, school was never really her thing. You knew that when both your decisions had been made, that it would more than likely affect your relationship. The thought makes you frown, and Ellie notices immediately.

She’s giving your thigh a soft pinch, sitting up and giving you all her attention.

“I thought we said no pouting today…you promised” she sighs out, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. It doesn’t really help, your hands loosely wrapping around her shoulders as you stare down at her lap that you’re settled on.

“I just…know that everything will change tomorrow” you sigh out, a soft pout on your lips as you avoid Ellie’s gaze.

She hums out in understanding, listening to your worries, simply allowing you to voice them. She lets a moment pass by before she responds.

“It’ll only change if we let it…I’ll come visit you all the time, and you need to come back to bake me and my dad cookies” she hums out nonchalantly, giving you a gentle shrug, which only earns a soft huff and a nudge from you to her shoulder.

“I’m serious El…I hate the idea of being without you…” you huff out softly. She chuckles as you give her a shove before she leans in to give you another soft kiss.

“I am being serious…” she drawls out, pulling away from you and cupping your cheek softly, staring into your eyes with so much love and care, it was almost unbearable.

“You’ll always be my girl…you know that” her voice is above a whisper, as if you and her were the only two people in the world. Sat there, in the quiet back yard of your even quieter neighborhood, the wind chimes clanking together on the front porch, paired with the sound of the rustling of the trees in the breeze, all of it coming together to create something of a perfect lullaby that can only be described as Ellie.

And her words make your heart bloom, giving you the hope that you needed to wake up in the morning and start your journey as a small town girl in the big city, knowing that if all else fails, you’d always have your Ellie to look forward to and depend on when you needed her.

Your cheeks almost feel sore with how big you’re smiling, leaning in and pressing a loving kiss to your girlfriends mouth, to which she accepts gladly, strong hands on your hips as she pulls you down to lay on her chest as her back hits the ground softly.

“I love you so much, Ellie…” you sigh out against her lips, barely giving yourself enough time to say it between the passionate kiss you two share. It makes her smirk against your lips, nodding as she gives your waist a gentle squeeze.

“Love you more, dream girl..” she hums out against you as she practically drowns herself in you.

It’s funny, because while that all felt like it happened just yesterday, it had been almost five years since you’d last seen Ellie Williams in the flesh.

Because as most teenage girls do, they aim for the stars. They believe that the sky’s the limit in the adult world, and where there’s a will there’s a way, and tons of other stupid sayings that are just words used to promise yourself something that may or may not happen.

All of it was just that, words that didn’t amount to anything.

Because you didn’t expect for the city and college to be the way that it was. The first night you moved into your apartment was one of the most hectic you’d ever experienced. You were a girl from a comically small town, catapulted into this fast paced world filled with adults who were going and coming from work, other students trying to make a name for themselves, and people simply trying to live.

To put things into simpler terms, you just weren’t available enough to keep Ellie in your life.

While she spoke to you on the phone almost the entire night of your first night in your apartment, soothing you and helping you sleep, and she made sure to text you in the morning and make sure you had everything you needed, your responses on the other end just became less and less frequent. Phone calls slowly stopped, text messages weren’t getting answered, and you gradually disappeared from Ellie’s life, the city swallowing you hole and keeping you away from her.

The worst part about it? You barely even noticed Ellie wasn’t in your life anymore. Between your classes and your job, you barely had enough time to breath let alone keep a relationship with your girlfriend.

It wasn’t until about a year into city life that it all happened. You were so absent, that you didn’t even realize Ellie sent you a message one day saying it was best to just be friends rather than try to keep a relationship, wishing you the best in a way that sounded far too understanding.

Before you knew it, you found a girl to take Ellie’s place in your heart. She was smart, and kind, and from the moment you laid eyes on her in a bar in the city one night after exams, you knew she had to be yours.

Soon enough she was, the two of you moving a bit too fast for your parents taste. Getting married fresh out of college wasn’t exactly what they wanted for you, but you were happy! And that’s all that truly mattered to you.

Man, should you have listened to them.

Two years. Two fucking years with the girl you were planning on devoting your loyalty to for the rest of your life was all you had, all you were given until you caught her fucking her coworker into the mattress of the bed you two shared. To say you didn’t see it coming would be a lie. Your ex wife was a fucking moron who couldn’t lie to save her ass. You’d only been gaslighting yourself for the last six months of your marriage into thinking she was just going through a rough patch or even planning some romantic getaway for the two of you.

No romantic getaways though, only heartbreak.

It was like you couldn’t even cry when you saw it, your body freezing at the sight of them in your bed once you followed the very loud trail of moans leading to your bedroom. The idiots, they didn’t even have the decency to do it in a fucking hotel or something.

So as your wife’s (ex wife) chasing you through your apartment, watching as you silently grab your suitcase and throw your things into it, the girl on your bed watching with wide eyes as she grips your favorite silk sheets against her chest to cover herself, you only truly have one thing on your mind.

“Come on baby…I…it was one time! You have to believe me!” She’s calling out like a wailing child, and the voice you once loved with all your heart sounds like nails on a chalk board. You swiftly tug your wedding ring off of your finger, tossing it onto the coffee table.

“My lawyer will send over the divorce papers” you speak out clearly, wanting her to hear ever fucking syllable that exits your mouth before you leave the apartment with the door slamming behind you, muffling her pathetic pleas behind the door.

You needed to go home.

Driving back to your home town was something you’d always imagine would be therapeutic. You imagined yourself packing your kids into a car with your wife, and making the drive all the way back to show them where their mommy grew up, allowing them to see a side of you that not many got to see.

This drive was nothing like that.

Instead, you were alone. Your old Cadillac your dad gifted you as a graduation present was practically begging you to get back on the road again. While it felt good to drive instead of taking a bus or a train, the circumstances made your heart ache.

While you didn’t cry when you initially found out about your wife’s affair, it all seemed to hit you on the drive back home, crashing down on you and making it hard to breath. You had to pull over and collect yourself for a good thirty minutes because the tears in your eyes were blurring your vision too much to drive.

You couldn’t even feel excited to go home, not with the overbearing weight of heartbreak leaving an ugly feeling in your chest.

It’s like your town is frozen in time. The same stores are there, the same shady trees, everything is just how you left it. It comes as a relief to you, because if your town had undergone a shitty futuristic makeover by some big corporate asshole looking for new business opportunities, you probably would’ve lost your mind.

The street where your house sits is just the same. There are kids riding their bikes up and down the quiet block, reminding you so much of yourself when you were their age. They even wave to you, giggling and smiling at you as if you’d been there the whole time, even though you’re sure a handful of them were born well after you’d left town.

And there your house sits, quiet and empty, practically waiting for someone to step in and fill her up. She’d been void of any of your family members ever since your parents became empty nesters and decided to travel the world. They of course let you know that the house was more than yours when they found out about your divorce. They told you they’d been needing someone to step in and take over for a while now since they’d been gone, that you were just the person they needed.

You knew they were saying that just to make you feel better.

Stepping out of your car and looking up at the house that you once called home makes your emotions all the more intense. It makes you feel old, but it makes you feel like you’d moved too fast all at the same time, your feelings contradicting each other in that sense. You have to take a deep inhale, swallowing back the tears that threatened to spill out onto your cheeks as you took a moment longer to take in the big house before you decided it was time to start moving your stuff into the house.

Besides a new couch and some new paint, the house is virtually the exact same as the way you left it. It makes your heart ache, because you realize you haven’t been back since the night you left when you were eighteen years old. You were too eager, too excited to leave behind the life your parents had built around you from the day you were born, that you neglected to even visit the world that they’d created for you.

It makes you feel like a bad daughter.

And suddenly you’re crying again, with no one to hold or console you, remind you that everything is fine and it only feels like the world is crashing down on you. Your life had gone in a way that you’d never expected, taking a course that you never saw for yourself, and it had its way of ignoring everything that you’d achieved, instead making you feel like a failure.

Your bedroom hasn’t changed either. The same shitty posters and figurines are still littered along your walls, your desk and your dresser, reminding you of all the silly little interests and hobbies you had as a young girl.

All the ones you’d forgotten as an adult.

It makes your heart ache, because it feels like everything is just crashing down on you and making you feel like all the things you’d been ignoring are practically begging, forcing you to acknowledge them, forcing you to feel them.

That first night back consists of you crying in the bath, followed by crying in your bed until you’ve fallen asleep.

You don’t leave the house for a few days, almost a week, thanking the forces of the internet that DoorDash had come to your small town, allowing you to feed yourself without the consequences of stepping out into town.

You weren’t ready for that. You weren’t ready for the people of your town to recognize you, to see the once happy, golden girl of their town that made it out of it all to get to the big city, back. Now lacking that sparkle she used to have in her eyes.

They all cared about you deeply, you could see it in the way they asked your parents constantly about you. But you couldn’t face them, not yet.

It doesn’t take long for the rest of your things that you’d shipped down to arrive at your house, a big truck stopping outside your house one early morning before setting everything in your garage. Once they left, you were faced with the task of moving all of the shit you’d accumulated in the city, into your new home.

And what a surprise it was when you were just about to grab a big box, only to see a familiar old grey truck pull up into your driveway next to your car.

Joel hadn’t changed at all. He was still just as old and burly as you remembered, his eyes crinkling at the edges with those familiar little wrinkles and his smile shining through the thick hair covering the bottom half of his face.

“Well would you look at who the cat dragged in” he chuckles out as he steps out of his car, old boots settling down onto the hot concrete of your driveway as his hand rested on the top of the car door.

His presence is enough to light up your face, quickly setting down the box as you rush out of the garage to meet the man outside of his car. The feeling of his strong arms wrapping around you in what could only be described as the closest thing to what hugging a bear feels like, temporarily mends your broken heart.

“Didn’t think I’d be seeing you again…it’s good to have you back kid…” he sighs out, chin pressed to the top of your head as you press your head against his chest. You can smell the faint scent of pine and cigarettes, further proving how much Joel has managed to stay the same since you’d last seen him.

You don’t trust yourself to respond, feeling the familiar tightening of your throat, the burning at your eyes and the tingle in your nose.

Joel had become somewhat of a second father to you, what with you and Ellie growing up together and all. Between your dad and hers being best friends, and you and Ellie being as close as you were, only to end up dating in high school, it wasn’t exactly a shock that you two had become so close with each others families.

Despite the heat of the summer time sun beating down on the both of you, you can’t bring yourself to let go of him. It feels like he’s the first person that’s hugged you in a long time and you’re fighting back the urges to cry with a fucking bat.

He chuckles softly, giving you a gentle squeeze before he pulls back, looking down into your eyes only to see that they’re pooling up with tears. You remind him so much of that little girl that was in and out of his home, stealing his daughter’s heart and running off with it to the big city to chase your dreams.

He can see so clearly just how much you’re hurting.

It makes him frown, bringing his hand up to ruffle your hair playfully.

You sniffle, biting back your tears as you stare up at the man. “What are you doing here?” You croak out, far too choked up to get a proper sentence out.

He hums softly as he looks up at the house, and then to the boxes filling up your garage, which he gestures to. “Your folks gave me a call…said you’d been comin’ home…they asked if I’d be able to help you get settled in” he explained, his eyes squinting a bit as if to size up the amount of things you had to take up before he gave a firm nod, as if confirming he’d be more than able to.

He looks back down at you, giving you his signature warm smile before he continues. “I was indeed free…so here I am” he confirmed with a chuckle.

You simply blink up at him, trying to gauge whether or not he knows, if your parents told him exactly why you were coming home along with telling him that you were coming back in the first place. Clearly you were moving back home, and he knew that you’d been married.

But he doesn’t say anything further. He doesn’t say he’s sorry, he doesn’t ask if you’re okay. He simply treats it like you’re just coming back home because you want to, not because you’re running away from something.

You decide to simply leave it at that.

Soon you’re giving him a soft smile, nodding as you look back at the boxes before leading him into the garage. You let out a soft sigh as you look at the work cut out for you two before you gesture towards them.

“It’s a lot, Mr. Miller…and I don’t expect you to help with everything so-“ he’s quickly cutting you off, the older man scoffing as he bends down to grab one of the bigger ones in a way that’s far too impressive for a man his age.

“Mr. Miller? The city went and made you all formal? Now…come inside and show me where you want these” he hums out casually, making you giggle softly before you grab a box yourself, moving to walk in front of him before you nod inside.

“Fine…but at least let me feed you once we’re finished” you make sure to add before leading him inside and show him where to place the box he had.

Soon, it’s nearly mid day and your garage is free of boxes. You almost don’t believe how quickly you and Joel were able to get all of the boxes in, the man moving quick for his age. You had to bite your tongue from mentioning it, knowing that he’d scoff and tell you he could run circles around the young kids asses any given day.

He of course lets you hold up your end of the bargain, making him a sandwich and some freshly squeezed lemonade just in time for lunch. Sitting down with him at your kitchen table makes you face just how lonely you’d been in that house. Sure, you didn’t mind doing things on your own, you were by yourself for the first three years of college before you met your ex wife. There was just something about being in your childhood home that was once bustling with life, always buzzing with the sounds of a family, now only filled with you and the soft patter of your feet against the wooden floor when you had to get from one point to another, that seemed to leave your heart feeling even more hollow than it already had become.

You knew that with some food and some spare time to simply sit with each other, conversation would erupt between you and Joel, so it didn’t come to a surprise when he finally mentioned the elephant in the room.

The plates were filled with crumbs and some discarded sandwich crust, glasses half filled with ice and a few lemon edges as you sat across from each other, the warm summer breeze blowing the lacy curtains further into the house.

“I don’t mean to pry…but what made you decide to come home?” He questions innocently. You know he isn’t doing it to gossip or lurk too deep in places that he doesn’t belong, he’s simply curious. He could see that look in your eyes when he first got there, and he knew that there was something behind them begging to get out, begging to be heard.

It makes you hum, your fingers lazily wrapped around the white and yellow striped straw in your cup, swirling around the remnants of your drink before you let out a soft sigh.

“I um…my wife and I got divorced…” your words trail off, almost ashamed to say them. You let out a soft scoff, nodding as you catch Joel’s shocked face before you continue.

“She was sleeping with her coworker…in our bed…” you pour salt on the wound with that one, a soft chuckle leaving your lips before you sigh, finally looking over at Joel to see he’s giving you and apologetic frown, his hand reaching over to grip your hand on the table, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Kid…I….fuck…I’m sorry” he tries, and you’re shaking your head to stop him before he can even continue further.

“I shouldn’t have married her so quickly…my parents told me it wasn’t a good idea but I…was too eager” you mumble out with a shrug before you give him a soft smile, your hand moving up to give his a squeeze instead, wanting to assure the now sad man that everything was fine.

“I’m okay Joel…really…if anything it’s karma for what I did to Ellie-“ he’s quickly cutting you off, seeing the way you’re simply talking out of your ass at this point.

He’s shaking his head, settling back in his chair before he cuts you off. “No…nuh-uh…Ellie has never blamed you for how things ended and you know that” his voice gets a bit more firm, wanting you to fully understand what he’s trying to convey.

You can’t help but frown as you stare down at the old kitchen table, far too deep in thought to even listen to the man. He can tell, he can see that you’re zoning out and getting deep in your head, so he pushes himself forward, resting his forearms on the table as he gets a bit closer to you.

“She knew how much leaving meant to you…she’s never once blamed you for anything” he tries again, this time trying to convey to you how truthful his words were, how much he truly meant them.

Hearing her name only makes your heart hurt more.

Because it felt like the universe was punishing you for not choosing her, for choosing the wrong girl instead of the one that you’d be given, the one that was simply perfect for you. You knew you were wrong for it, but was all of this necessary?

You don’t say anything, simply giving the man a soft smile before you nod, moving to grab the empty plates and cups and moving them to the sink, desperately trying to escape the conversation.

You hear him hum softly behind you, knowing it means he’s going to speak further. “She owns the car shop in town….bought it off of Mr. Johnson a little while after you left…” he explains.

The thought of Ellie had crossed your mind the moment you came to terms with the fact that you were moving back home. She crossed your mind a lot, but knowing that there may or may not would come a time where you’d have to face her again had your stomach in knots. You knew little to nothing about Ellie now, you didn’t know what she was doing or whether or not she was still living in town, you didn’t even know if she was with someone or not.

So to hear her father confirming that she was in fact still there, still around and not angry or bitter over the way things happened, it felt all too much like Joel trying to play Cupid between his daughter and her high school girlfriend.

His words make you freeze for a moment, your hands stilling against the dish and the sponge in your hand. He notices this, standing up from his seat at the table and moving to stand next to you, his palms pressing against the counter as his neck cranes down to eye you carefully.

“You should stop by…say hello…if you want” he assures you, wanting you to know that it was completely up to you and what you were comfortable with. You finally look up, giving the older man a soft smile before nodding.

“I…thanks Joel…for everything” you manage, finishing up the dishes before you grab a nearby rag to dry your hands. He smiles warmly as he nods before he brings his hand up to check his watch, sighing softly as he nods his head towards the door.

“I’ll be heading out now then…I have some things I need to take care of in town” he explains, looking down at you and giving you a slight nod. “You call me if you need anything missy…you hear?” He firmly reminds you before cracking a smile, reaching out and giving your arm a gentle squeeze before you walk him out of your house.

That night, Joel’s words echo throughout your head, and all you can think about is seeing Ellie again. Should you even consider it? Was it even a good idea for a newly divorced girl to be dabbling in the world of her old flings? Her first fling to be exact?? It all somehow sounded like a recipe for disaster.

Yet you couldn’t stop yourself from mentally searching through your closet for an outfit to wear on your first official outing.

After about another week of sulking in your house, you finally haul an old pair of denim shorts and a nice white linen blouse and force yourself out of your front door. Sure, you would’ve preferred crawling under your sheets and sobbing into your pillow, wondering why this had to happen to you, and why you couldn’t have a long happy marriage like everyone else, but healing had to start somewhere. You knew that you couldn’t do any of that if you continued wallowing in your own self pity.

The sun does a good job at pulling you out of your home. The weather was too nice to stay stuck inside of an old house all day. Summer vacation was in full swing, paired with the neighborhood kids bringing out the old sprinkler and everything, you’re sure you can even hear the ice cream truck coming down the road when you’re pulling out of your driveway.

It’s like you can finally see the beauty of your little town whenever you’re put together with the intention of coming out. It’s almost like the opposite of living life with rose colored glasses, instead you were blinded by a grey fog that came with your divorce, keeping you from truly seeing all that your home town had to offer.

Being in town does more for you than you’d ever imagine. Visiting the old faces that were once apart of your day to day almost makes it feel like you’d never left. Mrs. Charlotte still owns the little produce store, you’d always visit her after school and on the weekends because she always had some of the best strawberries no matter the season. The smile on her face when she saw you was one like no other, the woman grabbing you and pulling you into her chest the moment she saw you walk into her shop.

Mr. Johnny still owned the local photography store, he gave you your first job when you were sixteen years old. He’s partially to thank for helping you pay for college. You couldn’t believe your eyes when his little girl that you used to babysit was getting ready for her final year in high school, working in the same position you were when you were her age.

And Mr. and Mrs. Peters made sure to stop you when you were passing by their old pet store, Mrs. Peters unable to believe her eyes when she saw the golden girl passing by her old shop. She scolded you for not writing her earlier, letting her know that you were coming into town. You make it up to her by telling her you’re here to stay, and that you’ll make it a point to have both her and her husband over for dinner one of these days whenever they’re free.

So? Nearly nothing has changed. Sure, everyone’s gotten a bit older, but so have you. You’ve changed, and you’ve grown, and you’re so much different and so much more than the small towns golden girl that finally made it out to the big city, just to get her heart broken in the process of it all.

And that’s what you remind yourself as you find yourself pulling up to the familiar car shop that Joel had mentioned the week before.

It’s no surprise that Ellie ended up finding herself to be the owner of the local car shop in your town. She’d always loved cars, working on them, fixing them up, everyone in your school knew that if you had a problem with your vehicle, you’d call Ellie. She was the one that came together with your dad to fix his old Cadillac, fixing her up, turning her out and making her brand new for your adventures in the big city.

Standing in front of her shop makes your heart beat right out of your chest. But you’re here already, so you might as well just suck it up and walk right in.

As you do so, you can’t help but let the lingering thoughts take over. The suns already setting at this point, and you’re sure she’s close to closing up if she hasn’t already. What even was the point? Ellie probably didn’t even wanna see you! This was all Joel’s idea and what if he was just trying to make you feel-

“I’ll be right there!” You hear a familiar voice call out from the back, making your heart beat faster just from the sound of it.

She sounds the same, yet more mature. Her voice deeper with a bit of roughness to it, making her sound all the more irresistible. It makes you stand in the opened garage of her shop, surrounded by all of the cars that are opened up or hoisted up into the sky, your hands gripping your bag almost nervously as you stand there, frozen, unable to move.

Soon, she’s emerging from the back. She has a pair of navy overalls on, the sleeves tied around her waist, leaving her top half in a white wife pleaser, both of which were covered in motor oil and grease. Her arms are bigger, and covered in tattoos, something you remembered her saying she’d do the second she got the money for it. She’s taller too, and her hair is shorter, gone is the familiar pony tail she always had, instead it stops just at the nape of her neck, messily tossed into a bun while a few strands rests against her skin. her features stronger too, sharper.

She’s so different, yet so similar to the Ellie you remember, your Ellie. She still has the power of taking your breath away with a single glance.

“Well I’ll be damned…is that the dream girl?” She chuckles out with a soft smirk on her lips, pulling a red rag from her back pocket to wipe her hands clean. The nickname leaves goosebumps trailing down your skin.

Dream girl.

You recall the nickname from the many times you were with Ellie. Back when you two dated, she’d go on and on about how perfect you were, how she knew you were the girl of her dreams, animated into real life from the moment she laid eyes on you. You were the girl of her very dreams, and she never failed to remind you of that. Ever.

Hearing her call you that has your lips twitching up into a shy smile as you give her a shrug.

“In the flesh…” you mumble out, biting back an embarrassed giggle as the girl clearly drinks you in, eyes shamelessly raking up and down your body.

“Jesus…come here!” She groans out as she rushes towards you, strong arms wrapping around your middle and pulling you up, spinning you around as she keeps you in her arms. It makes you laugh loudly, a deep guttural laugh leaving your lips, possibly for the first time since your divorce.

The feeling of Ellie’s strong arms wrapping around your body feels like your missing puzzle piece has been given back to you, like you’ve been reunited with a part of you that you left behind far too long ago.

But she’s so much stronger now, and she’s older and…and…

It all just feels so right.

“Ellie stop! Put me down, you’re filthy” you whine out, landing a playful slap to her sweaty arm as she chuckles, finally setting you back down onto the floor.

She chuckles softly, settling her hands on either one of her hips as she lets out a sigh, a soft smile on her face. “I’m surprised the town hasn’t thrown a damn parade when they heard you’d be here…my god” she sighs out, practically in awe with your very appearance.

“Come on back, I’m just finishing some paperwork before I close” she nods her head to the back where she was moments ago, which you quickly follow her as she guides you.

Her garage is empty except for her, most likely working overtime after her employees had gone home, which was very much like Ellie. The walls are covered with the same posters of the bands you knew Ellie loved, as well as a healthy collection of vintage car photos, which isn’t a shock at all since those were always the center of Ellie’s car obsession.

The place seems nice and worn in, it suits Ellie in the best way.

Your thoughts are interrupted when you hear her let out a soft hum. She’s leaned up against her work table, wiping her hands off further with her red rag before she tosses it over her shoulder, crossing her toned arms across her chest as she eyes you fondly, a soft smile on her face.

“You haven’t changed one bit…” she hums out, eyes trailing on your face as she keeps that fine smile on hers. It makes you feel shy, the same way you felt all those years ago when your feelings for Ellie really started to shine through, and every little thing she’d say would have you giggling like an idiot.

You roll your eyes, biting back a smile as your top teeth sink into your bottom lip, shrugging as you move your hands up to loosely rest on your own arms.

“Please…the city has practically chewed me up and spit me out…I’m surprised I don’t have wrinkles yet” you huff softly, bringing your hand up to your forehead to make sure you weren’t frowning again, a habit you’d picked up recently.

Getting cheated on made you far too miserable.

She chuckles, shaking her head as her pink tongue darts out to lick her lips, still soaking you in like she would the sun.

“Nah…a face like that? Not even the city could ruin” she adds, giving you a small wink.

It warms you heart up in the best of ways, finally giving you a moment to stand still and enjoy life without letting the actions of your ex wife consume you. She makes you forget all about it, reminding you of a time where the thought of getting cheated on, didn’t even cross your mind.

You two stand there for a moment, seemingly taking each other in, enjoying the moment. It’s clear that she’s flirting, and it feels so similar to the days of your old life. It feels like the times where you and Ellie would spend hours talking outside your house or hers, when you’d shyly smile and giggle at one another when you were unsure of your feelings, when things were fresh.

You can tell Ellie feels it too, because she’s quick to blink a few times in your direction before she clears her throat, smile dropping as she turns around to busy herself with something on her desk.

“How’s that wife of yours? Sorry I couldn’t make it to the wedding…was um….was busy” she mumbles out.

Although her back is facing you, you can practically hear the way her eyebrows furrow and her lips twitch into a frown. It was a subject that you two hadn’t spoken about much. You’d told Ellie about your ex wife when you two first started dating, and you told her about the engagement and the wedding you’d been planning, because before anything else, Ellie was your friend, and you two shared everything with each other.

But you couldn’t ignore the almost nauseating weight that settled in when you spoke to her about it. The way she tried to seem as happy for you as she could without letting underlying feelings bubble up to the surface.

You could sense that same weight now, as she asked you about the woman that broke your heart.

It rips you away from the little fantasy you’d been given with Ellie, reminding you of the dark reality of why you’d returned, and what it was that had forced you out of the city and back to your home town. Thinking about telling Ellie about what happened and actually doing it were two very different things, and the seconds of silence that passed between you began to turn into minutes, minutes where you silently begged to disappear into thin air instead of admitting to Ellie what it was that happened.

“Um…she…” you stuttered out, struggling for a moment before your eyes fluttered shut, and you took a deep inhale, grounding yourself before you finally spoke once more.

“We got divorced.” You finally manage to get out, your balled up fists finally relaxing down at your sides as your shoulders deflate, the weight of your situation finally releasing itself from your body as you admitted it to her.

You see her still for a moment, movements halting completely as she struggles to comprehend what it was that you’d said, what it was that she was hearing.

Hearing about your girlfriend was a jab to the chest, but it wasn’t like she didn’t see it coming. Plus, it’s just a girlfriend! And you were all the way in the city anyways, who was Ellie to be jealous of that? Hearing about your engagement was also fairly hard, it wasn’t like she spent countless nights at the bar drowning out her sorrows over the one that got away. Seeing your actual wedding invitation though? Man, that was fucking hard. Ellie isn’t entirely sure how she got through that part. Ignoring it was the easiest way how.

Ellie would spend night after night wishing on a single star that you’d get divorced from that woman, knowing deep down she wasn’t the right one for you. Call it a gut feeling or call it jealousy, whatever it was, there was a constant lingering feeling that Ellie had ever since you’d gotten married that left a bitter taste in her mouth, one that she felt wouldn’t end well with that girl.

And now you’re here, standing in the middle of her old car shop, telling her that you were in fact divorced, and one of the countless stars in the sky has listened to her.

But she can’t move. She’s frozen in place as she eyes the papers on her desk, that now have no purpose to her since the only thing she can focus on is your words. It makes you nervous, and you take it was an opportunity to clear your throat, wanting desperately to cut the silence in half.

“Your dad told me you owned this place now…so I thought I’d visit…” you mumble out awkwardly, struggling to find the words to say to Ellie as she simply stood there, back turned to you for what felt like an eternity.

She inhales deeply, finally turning around to face you. You weren’t entirely sure what you expected her expression to read, but you’re surprised to see that she’s frowning, a soft sigh leaving her lips as she leans her palms back on her desk, shaking her head a she eyes you.

“Always knew those city girls were no good…I’m sorry sweetheart” she sighs out genuinely. You give her a shrug, shaking your head as you send a half smile her way.

“I’m just glad it happened sooner than later…saying I have an ex wife is cool though” you snort out, which earns a chuckle from Ellie as she nods in agreement.

“Very cool…makes you sound all grown up” she winks at you before she nods her head at you. “You still staying at your old place? Or did you find somethin’ in town” she hums out, clearly trying to change the subject for your own comfort.

And hers….

You hum softly as you nod, gesturing off to the direction of your home. “Yup…my parents treat the place like it’s a vacation home…I was practically taking it off their hands” you sigh out in fake annoyance, which makes Ellie laugh softly as she nods.

“Man…haven’t seen those two in a couple of years. You’d think they’re on their honeymoon” she adds, making you giggle as well.

The summer breeze blows swiftly against your body, your hair blowing with it, fallen blossoms from the apple trees in town dancing along your feet. It doesn’t help that you’re dressed in the same pair of denim shorts Ellie used to love so much, looking all too familiar to the girl of her passed, yet so different at the same time.

She stares at you shamelessly, smiling fondly as she simply takes you in.

You furrow your eyebrows, biting back a smile as you eye her closely. “What are you staring at, Williams?” You ask her, clearly teasing the girl as she gives you a shrug, biting down on her bottom lip as she gives you a smile.

“You expect me to not stare when a pretty girl is stood in my shop? What do you take me for” she shoots out far too smoothly, making you roll your eyes. You shoo your hand at her, turning around to make your way back to your car, knowing that if you stay any longer, you’ll probably end up getting charmed by Ellie all over again.

As if she hadn’t already done that the moment you laid eyes on her.

“I’m freshly divorced missy…not exactly the top choice at the market” you scold her jokingly, giving her a small wave as you walk out onto the curb, making your way back to your car.

“Just wanted to stop by and say hello…don’t wanna keep you any longer” you hum out, giving the girl a small smile as your hand reaches for the handle of your car.

Ellie is moving before she can think, eyes widening as she quickly follows you out to your car, her larger hand gently resting over your own as she moves to pull your car door open for you.

“My um…my number hasn’t changed…if you still have it and you wanted to talk…or hang out or something…” she mumbles out shyly. For a moment, you see her drop the smooth, suave demeanor she had mere moments ago, saying all the right things and strumming all the right chords. For a moment, she’s Ellie. She’s the Ellie that stuttered and struggled to get the words out when she asked you out the first time, or asked you to be her girlfriend.

She’s the Ellie that you make nervous.

“Do you…have my number still?” She asks nervously, worried she’d been reading into this all wrong. It makes you giggle, nodding as you lean your back against your car, staring up at the girl before you speak.

“Of course I have your number, Ellie…wouldn’t lose it for the world” you hum out as you give her a soft smile, which has her eyes twinkling as she gives you a small smile.

“Good…” she managed out as she watches you get into your car.

She hums as she leans down, pressing her arms against the edge of your window, looking into your car before she looks at you. You feel your insides burning at how fucking close she is at that.

“A buddy of mine s’got a gig down at the Copper Cat this Saturday…if you wanted to come out” she casually invites you, eyeing you closely to try and gauge your response to it.

Your eyes widen a bit at the mention of the old bar, memories swirling into your head like a hurricane. “The Copper Cat?? That place is still opened??” You practically shriek in shock of the old bar still being up and running. Your response makes Ellie chuckle as she nods.

“Yup…and it’s better than ever too. They remodeled last summer” she explains, you don’t miss the proud smile on her face as she practically beams at you. You giggle softly as you nod slowly before you hum, looking down at your lap for a moment as you thought about it a bit. Your ex girlfriend was inviting you to some mediocre show at an even more mediocre bar in the small corner of your town, and you were newly divorced…

What could go wrong with that

You smile up at her before giving her a nod. “Text me and let me know what time you’ll be there” you give her a nod, confirming that you’ll come. You can see the see the way her eyes practically twinkle at that, nodding eagerly as she smiles.

“I’ll pick you up” she quickly replied, leaving no room for you to decline, because she’d already pushing herself up and off of your window, giving you a bright smile as she nods her head in the direction of the main road.

“Go on…before I keep you here even longer than I’m supposed to” she gives you a wink, which sends your heart until a flurry of emotions, sparking it all up all over again before you roll your eyes playfully, and drive off after giving her a small wave goodbye, her smile seemingly seared into the forefront of your brain as you grinned like an idiot while making your way back home.

God…were you fucked.

This wasn’t a date.

This was simply two old friends catching up after a long time! Ellie had asked you to come out because she probably felt bad for you. She could probably see the tears stained into your cheeks and the absolute trail of sadness that followed you around and thought, ‘this girl could use a night out’, so she invited you.

This wasn’t a date.

It was a pity invite! A date would have been some place nice. Ellie was romantic, you knew that. She’d treated you better in your puppy love relationship than most girls did while you were in the city, so of course suggesting to go to the bar was keeping it friendly.

This wasn’t a date.

It wasn’t a date. It was just you going out to a bar because you’re single now and you can do what you want without feeling guilty or wrong for doing fun things. That’s all. It wasn’t a date at all.

But if it wasn’t a date…why were you so fucking nervous.

You visited Ellie at her shop on Monday, you weren’t set to see her again until Friday night, so why was it the only thing you could think of? You could only think of what to wear, how to act, if you should text her or not, would that be pushy? Would that be overstepping? She told you her number hadn’t changed! So obviously that meant she wanted you to text her….right?

Right?

God, who knew at this point. All you knew, was that you were set to see Ellie this weekend. Regardless of it being a date or not, it was nerve wracking. So when Friday afternoon finally rolls around, you find yourself partaking in things that are a steering a bit too close to pre date activities.

Such as making sure your entire body was nice and moisturized, but that was just for you! That wasn’t for Ellie to touch or squeeze…or making sure your hair was cleaned and styled, that’s just because you want to be presentable! You can’t let the people of your town see the mess your ex wife made. Or doing your makeup and picking out the perfect outfit. That was simply because…you wanted to! Nothing more, nothing less.

You settled on a simple yellow sundress with pink flowers, it hugs your middle perfectly and flows down to your calves, making it just enough to look like you put a bit of effort into your appearance. It almost felt like a breath of fresh air to haul on any old pair of shorts or a nice dress to go out, something the city rarely allowed. The city was too into appearances, everyone needing to wear the best clothes and the trendiest styles when setting foot outside, especially on a night out. It was fun, but it became exhausting after a while, all you wanted to do was to wear your comfy clothes without getting nasty looks.

The beauty of living in a small town.

When you’re finally ready, you catch a quick look at yourself in the mirror, more than happy with your overall appearance before you take a deep breath, and send Ellie a text.

Hii :)

I’m all ready whenever you wanna come by

It doesn’t take more than a few seconds for Ellie to read and respond to your messages.

Awesome :)

I’m omw

You smile softly at her messages, heart beating a bit faster at the thought of her coming over as you click your phone shut, and move to sit in your living room to wait for the girl to arrive.

It’s almost comedic how quickly you move to sit on your couch, knee bouncing anxiously as you wait for the girl to pull up to your house. Sitting there gives you too much time to think, too. Because what if this is a bad idea, what if you’re just blinded by the manic excitement that comes with seeing Ellie again, the thrill of being with her, because you’re still very much heart broken, and it isn’t like everything will simply disappear once she’s-

And suddenly you can’t think anymore, because all you can hear is a firm knock at your front door, echoing through your house.

It catches the air in your lungs and practically runs with it, leaving you panicking as your eyes flutter between the front door and the clock, and you realize it’s been about fifteen minutes since Ellie’s texted you, and you’d just been sitting on your couch overthinking as always.

Your feet seem to have a mind of their own as they carry you to your front door, moving to open it before you can even come to terms with opening up for it.

And if you think Ellie looked good when you saw her at her shop? God…you didn’t know what good looked like until now.

The white t shirt she wears hugs her body beautifully, covered by an old leather jacket that fits her even better. Her toned thighs are clad in what you can only assume to be expensive blue denim jeans, simply by how perfectly they fit her. It’s all covered with a fucking cherry on top when you take in her black boots, and a singular silver necklace dangling from her neck.

You’re sure she’ll notice your heart beating out of your chest any second now.

She’s smiling brightly when she takes you in, eyes raking down your form before she chuckles. “Look at you…could almost pass for one of us small town folk in that one..” she hums out, nodding in approval at your laid back outfit.

It makes you roll your eyes, landing a playful nudge to the girls arm as you adjust your bag further on your shoulder. “Please…I dressed like this even when I lived out there” you try to defend yourself, giving her a small frown before you nod your head out to her car.

“Should we get going? Wouldn’t wanna miss the main act” you hum, wanting to get out of your house desperately.

Half of the reason being because you seriously needed to get out of your house and socialize with people that weren’t your mother’s porcelain figurines….

And the other half being you simply couldn’t handle the close proximity of someone as good looking as Ellie much longer.

She hums softly as she nods, stepping to the side and she gives you a bit of space to walk out of your house. “After you, city girl” she teases you once again, earning yet another look of warning from your end, which she simply giggles at.

You can’t contain the gasp you let out when you finally lay eyes on Ellie’s ride. The vintage black mustang practically sparkles in the low light of the afternoon sun. You can’t help yourself from reaching out and running your fingers along the shiny body of the car.

“Jesus Christ Ellie….if I knew you’d pick me up in this, I would’ve dressed nicer” you practically gasp out. Ellie chuckles softly as she watches your reaction closely, nodding slowly as she looks at the car with you.

“Hey…city girl comes to town? I need to pull all the stops” she explains with a nonchalant shrug. It makes you groan in annoyance, because did Ellie truly have to be this perfect? Couldn’t she have grown up to be a moron like your ex wife?

Why did she have to be something out of a fucking romance novel.

You’re too in awe with the vehicle to acknowledge her remark, a soft, dreamy sigh leaving your lips as you bend down a bit to look at the cream colored leather interior. “You fix this up yourself?” You hum out softly, although you already knew the answer to that question, you wanted to hear her gloat about it.

You can practically hear the cocky grin on the girls face as she nods. “Is the sky blue? Come on angel…you know nobody does it like me” she grins out, moving to stand behind you.

“Longer you stare at her, less time you have in her…” she practically purrs out. You have to ignore the way your stomach does flips at her tone, nodding eagerly as you rush to the other side of the car, to which Ellie quickly beats you to it.

“Nu-uh-uh…a lady never opens her own door, especially a city-“ you press your hand to her mouth, silencing her from finishing her sentence as you give her a displeased look.

“Finish that sentence and I’m going back inside” you deadpan, which makes Ellie quickly nod as she gives you wide eyes, opening the door for you in silence. You giggle softly, patting her cheek gently before you get into her car. “Much better” you praise her.

She chuckles softly, waiting for you to get in before she rushes to her side to get in and start driving as well.

The familiar bar hasn’t changed at all since you’d last been there. It’s almost scary how much everything’s frozen in time in the small town, leaving little to no room for changes. It makes you sigh softly, a gentle smile on your lips as Ellie pulls into the parking lot.

“Man….this place really never changes, huh?” You sigh out almost in awe, which makes Ellie chuckle as she shuts the car off.

“What can I say….Our town prioritizes tradition” she teases before she looks over at you, giving you a soft smile before nodding her head towards the building. “Come on, my buddy should be up any moment now” she urges gently before she gets out of the car, prompting you to follow when she opens up the door for you.

Inside, the place is buzzing. Filled to the brim with the people of your town, young and old, all of them eager for a night of fun after a long week of work. The atmosphere differs greatly from what you’re used to, the clubs and bars back in the city always having a strange vibe to them, one that you couldn’t ever really put your finger on.

Being there, with the people that had been born and raised in the same town as you, you were finally able to remember what it was that was missing in the city…

It was that the people here, were actually having fun.

“I’m gonna grab a drink, you want one?” Ellie leans down next to you, her voice raising a bit to combat the loud music that was already playing. You hum softly, trying your best to ignore the way her scent fills your knows and almost makes you feel drunk. You merely give her a nod and a soft smile before leaning in to speak into her ear as well. “A rum and coke if that’s okay!” You shout out to her, which earns a smile and a nod. She gives your arm a gentle squeeze, “find us a spot, I’ll find you when I have them” she urges before disappearing off into the sea of people to find the bar.

You let out a breath you’d seemingly held from the moment Ellie picked you up from your house, exhaling loudly as you look around at the packed room. There are various booths and stools available to sit, but you opt to lean up against a nearby wall, mainly because you seriously needed a time out from the amount of people there.

You truly didn’t expect for so many people to be there, thinking that it would be a barely packed house with a few of Ellie’s friends there to watch the mystery person she’d been boasting to you about. You couldn’t tell if everyone was there to see the performance, or if they were there simply to socialize and drink. You figured it was a mix of both.

Quite a bit of time passes by, and it makes you wonder if Ellie got lost or was having trouble finding you or something. You knew it was stupid to stand on the wall, so you figure you’d search for her instead.

Pushing yourself off the wall and emerging into the sea of people makes you frown, apologizing and squeezing through various people, trying your best to map out where the bar should be. You feel you can just make out the flooded area, when you finally spot Ellie.

And the girl that’s been keeping her from you.

You can see Ellie holding your drink in her hand, and one you can assume is for herself as the girl chats her up. You can barely make out who Ellie is speaking to, but from the back? You can tell she’s a looker. Her pretty hair falling down her back, attractive figure, even the way she leans in and presses her hand against Ellie’s arm whenever she laughs makes it clear that this girl is pretty, because all pretty girls know how to flirt in just the best ways possible.

And it’s the strangest fucking feeling, because even thought you caught your ex wife fucking another woman in the bed you both shared, what you feel when you see another girl touching Ellie’s arm doesn’t come close to anything you’ve ever felt before.

Because you’ve never had to see this. You’ve never had to see someone else throw themselves at Ellie. When you were dating, everyone knew that you were hers and she was yours, and even before you two were dating, everyone assumed you were both off limits anyways. It was something that you never had to face, because in the entire time that you’d known Ellie, she was yours.

But now she wasn’t. And it was clear that everyone knew that.

It makes you want to turn around and go home, ignore the ugly feeling in the pit of your stomach, call a cab and hide in your house for another month. You weren’t ready for this, these feelings that you were faced with were too much, and too fucking confusing. You wanted your bed, and your room, and your house where you were safe and no one and nothing could hurt you, you just needed to turn around and-

“Awe, there she is. Over here!” Ellie’s voice calls out over the loud music, cutting each and every one of your loud, annoying thoughts in half. Your eyes widen a bit when the girl finally turns around, only confirming the point that you had come to earlier. If anything, she puts all of that to shame, because she’s even more beautiful than you could have ever imagined.

You don’t recognize her, but she’s smiling brightly and waving you over as if she recognizes you, beckoning you over as if you’d all been friends since you were babies. You have to stop yourself from frowning, knowing both this girl and Ellie owed you nothing. You put on a smile, inhaling deeply and making your way over to the both of them.

“Sorry I took so long, I couldn’t find you anywhere” Ellie quickly apologizes as she hands you your drink. You quickly shake your head, clearing the lump that had formed in your throat before you give her a small smile.

“Uh…no worries. I was in an awkward spot anyways, so that’s my fault” you assure her.

She can tell something’s wrong just in the way you’re speaking, and it makes her eye you closely, trying to gauge your expression, eager to figure out what’s made the sudden change in your mood. It makes her frown slightly, eyebrows furrowed as she peers down to watch you before she leans in a bit. “You okay?” She questions softly, her hand coming up to squeeze your arm gently.

The tone of her voice and the hand on your arm makes you want to explode. It makes your head spin and it makes you want to scream at the top of your lungs, because Ellie does not owe you anything! She isn’t your girlfriend, and this is simply two friends catching up after not seeing each other for a long time, and it was absolutely doing your head in that she was speaking to you like that wasn’t the case.

So you give her a smile, nodding quickly as you shake her hand off of your arm. “I’m fine, just a bit flustered with the crowd…um…is this your friend?” You as gently as you gesture towards the girl that was politely standing there as you and Ellie had a moment, not daring to intervene as she quietly sipped on her drink and people watched, as to not make things even more awkward than they already were.

Ellie’s frown deepens when you shake her grasp off, eyeing the way her hand falls from your arm. It leaves a bitter taste on her tongue, not used to this far off, separated feeling that’s settled between the two of you. She wants to dwell on it further, but your question makes her blink out of her confused daze, looking over at the girl standing in front of her.

“Fuck…right, yes. This is Lilac, she moved into town a few years ago” Ellie explains.

Great, even her fucking name was beautiful.

You’re met with the prettiest pair of eyes when Ellie says her name, the girl smiling brightly as she hears Ellie introduce her.

“Ahh no need to be formal, darlin’. Ellie has told me so much about you” she practically squeals out.

You’re a bit taken aback when instead of shaking your hand, she tugs you in for a hug, arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you close, nearly making you spin your drink. Your eyes widen, using your free arm to wrap around her shoulders and hug her back. You catch Ellie chuckling softly as she brings her drink to her lips, trying to hide her smirk.

Lilac pulls away, pretty glossy lips pulled into a smile as she eyes you, a gentle sigh leaving your lips as she takes you in. “I was wondering when I’d get to meet you…I promise you, I’d hear at least half the town going on and on about you the first month of living here” she giggles out. You smile softly as you nod, taking a sip of your drink before you shrug.

“Sorry about that…I’ve been hiding I guess” you mumble out sheepishly, lips ghosting over the rim of your cup as you desperately try to take in as much of your drink as you could without slugging it down like an animal.

There was no way you’d be getting through this night sober.

Ellie watches as the two of you interact, smiling softly as she takes a sip of her own drink ever so often before she intervenes.

“Lilac works on the daily paper….came in and made it all fancy for us” Ellie chimes in. Her words make Lilac giggle softly, leaning in and pressing her hand against Ellie’s arm, giving her a gentle push.

You try your best to ignore how much that fucking annoys you.

“Oh please. All I did was order in some new printing paper and add pretty fonts. Don’t let her fool you” she chirps, leaning into you with raised eyebrows as she gives you a giggle. You don’t even have time to respond to her before she’s asking you another question.

“I hear you’re from the city…I’ve dreamed of being there all my life, can’t imagine what would bring someone back to a little town like this” she sighs out almost dreamily.

Although there’s no malice or blunt force to her words, you can’t help but take it that way. It’s clear she’s simply making conversation, trying to get to know you better. Maybe it’s the liquor slowly but surely making its way through your system, making you feel looser, making your tongue looser.

“Wasn’t really my plan” you make out, eyes drifting elsewhere as you bring your cup back to your lips.

God….you just wanted to go home.

She doesn’t quite catch the bitter tone in your words, because soon enough there’s an announcement echoing through the bar, and you know it’s time for that friend that Ellie had mentioned earlier to get on stage and perform.

Lilac squeals excitedly, jumping up and down as her hand grips Ellie’s arm, the girl clearly over the moon for whoever it was that was performing.

Great….she knew the guy too?

You have to stop yourself from rolling your eyes, the foreign feeling of jealousy tapping on your shoulder, reminding you of all those intense feelings you’d once had for Ellie. Bringing your cup to your lips to occupy yourself makes you realize the drink was done, making you groan softly.

Your eyes drift over to Ellie and Lilac, both of them enamored with the man that was beginning his on stage. It makes you sigh softly before you lean into them, shouting over the loud music.

“I’m gonna get another drink, you guys want anything?” You barely make out over the loud guitar riff, the both of them denying before they brought their attention back to the musician. With that, you swiftly make your way through the crowd over to the bar.

The second you’re pressed up against the bar, it feels like you can breathe again. Your cheeks felt hot, your chest felt hot, hell, your entire fucking body felt hot. And the worst part of it all, is you could barely decipher the feelings that were plaguing your mind and body.

You sighed softly as you thanked the sweet bartender for the drink. There was enough space at the bar for you to turn around and gaze at the crowd, eyes drifting along the sea of people as you simply sipped on your drink, trying your best to regroup after the entire situation with Lilac.

Because it was weird. All of it was so fucking strange and it was doing your head in. The feeling that sank to the bottom of your stomach when you first laid eyes on them was one you couldn’t recognize. It was rare that you ever felt jealousy in your last relationship, which was honestly something that made you feel quite secure in your marriage. Your wife never truly gave you any reasons to feel that way, her attention always on you, never failing to make you feel like the only girl in the room. Thinking back to all of it, the way your marriage ended was almost comedic.

So seeing Ellie, your ex girlfriend of almost five years, and Lilac, one of the most beautiful girls you’d ever laid eyes on, simply laughing and touching one another as friends do? It made you want to rip the entire building you stood in, brick, by brick.

The thoughts alone make you frown, a gentle sigh leaving your lips as you stare down into the fizzy cup of ice, alcohol and soda in your hand. You felt…so conflicted, so wrong for allowing these feelings to fill you up and make you feel so intensely about someone who didn’t even feel that way about you anymore, and did you even feel that way about her anymore? It was just Ellie. She was your best friend before anything else, so what if she flirts with a pretty girl! You’d be stupid to think she didn’t have other people in her life after you left. What? Did you think she’d simply sit around waiting for you-

But when you finally lift your eyes up to scan the crowd again, what you find brings all of those thoughts to a halt once again.

Because now you’re seeing Ellie’s hand placed on Lilac’s middle, leaning in as the pretty girls lips ghosted along Ellie’s ear, giggling as she whispered unknown words to her.

And that’s when you realized, you couldn’t do this.

You quickly down the rest of your drink, shoving your hand into your purse and grabbing a fistful of money, sliding it over to the bartender and telling him to keep the change in a low voice. You pass the glass over to him, and begin making your way out of the sea of people in the dimly lit room.

You were stupid to think this was a good idea. Your emotions were so scattered, so messy and cluttered in your head. You were going through a fucking divorce, and now you were getting angry over the mere thought of your ex girlfriend standing next to another girl, let alone going further than that. You needed to get your shit together, and if that meant cutting newly mended ties with Ellie, then so fucking be it.

And it’s as if the once crowded bar isn’t able to cover your escape, because you can faintly make out the sound of someone calling for you. You cross your fingers, and hope that it’s someone from high school that just so happens to be there, recognizing you and trying to get a moment with you before you’re able to pounce out of the building.

But unfortunately for you, it’s not. You keep going anyways, hoping that Ellie will drop it or get caught up with someone or something else along the way of her high speed chase for you, but of course, she doesn’t.

You let out a loud sigh when you finally push past the heavy metal doors of the bar, the cool summer breeze wafting against your clammy skin, cooling down your warm cheeks. You hadn’t even realized it before, but you were practically covered in sweat from all the excitement that had washed over you in such a short amount of time.

Ellie is quick to wrap a gentle hand around your wrist, stopping you from running further.

“Hey…where you runnin’ off to? Shows barely even started” she pants out, her own cheeks flushed from pushing and shoving through people to get to you.

The ugly little monster that is jealousy dies immediately when you turn around to look at her. Partially because you know you need to quickly make up an appropriate excuse to your sudden departure, because surely you couldn’t tell her the true reason behind your disappearance…

And also because just looking at Ellie makes you feel whole again.

You let out a gentle sigh before giving her a half smile. “I’m uh…I’m pretty tired and I feel a tad drunk. You and Lilac looked like you were having fun so I didn’t wanna bother…” you explain, ignoring the way the sweet girls name leaves a rather bitter taste on your tongue.

Ellie nods, her expression gentle and understanding as she fishes her keys out of her pocket. “You should’ve told me. Come on, let’s get you home” she affirms with a soft smile, nodding her head towards her car as she begins leading you over.

Her words make you quickly shake your head, stepping in front of her to stop her from getting closer to her car.

“No! No Ellie it’s fine. You were really excited to come tonight and I don’t wanna stop you from having fun so just go back in and-“ you’re rambling at this point, a common habit you’d developed since you could speak. Ellie knew this, because every time you were flustered, or scared, or even happy, your emotions would get the best of you and you’d spew out words like a sprinkler.

So she chuckles softly, bringing her hand up to your arm and giving it a gentle squeeze as if to stop you.

“Slow down, peach” she hums out smoothly. The pet name makes your insides burn, her voice sounding like fucking butter as she soothes you, instantly calming you down and shutting you up just as she wanted.

“There you go…breath” she gives you an encoring nod, paired with another firm squeeze to your arm before she finally lets go, giving you a soft smile before she speaks again.

“I was excited to come out with you tonight. I see that guy perform every Friday” she explains with a soft laugh before she nods her head to her car once again.

“So, let’s get you home and in bed. Your parents would kill me if I let you roam around at night….even though your house is and ten minute walk from here” she shrugs before she presses her hand to the small of your back, leading you to her car without a choice.

It makes you whine softly, throwing your head back like a child as she opens up your door and helps you into the car. You aren’t even that drunk, a bit warm and tipsy, sure, but you were fine to make it home on your own.

However…her warm hand on your skin, paired with the babying, was nice.

Damn her for being so fucking perfect.

A soft huff blows past your pouted lips as she settles into the drivers seat next to you, which makes her snicker as she starts the car. “Quit pouting…it was getting too crowded in there anyways, was gonna suggest we head out right before you tried to ditch me” she shrugs nonchalantly, which earns a playful swat to her arm from your end.

“I was not ditching you! I really am tired” you protest, which only makes Ellie chuckle as she puts her hands up in her defense before she expertly pulls out of the parking lot, one hand on the steering wheel of course.

“Uh-huh….lets get you home then” she affirms as she gives you a wink before she makes her way to your house.

The summer breeze is cool against your skin, the windows down on Ellie’s car, soft music playing through it as you two simply enjoy the comfortable silence that falls between you both. It reminds you of the parties Ellie would drive you both home from, only for her to sneak up to your room with you and pass out in your bed, cuddled up into each other. Sneaking was a stretch, as your parents always knew she’d be spending the night when you two were out late.

The memories make the heart ache, and your throat swell, that familiar melancholy feeling filling you up at the reflection of the past staring at you in a pool of your memories.

You barely realize you’ve pulled in, the gentle hum of the car coming to a stop as Ellie lets her palms fall to her thighs, a gentle sigh leaving her lips as she stares up at your dark home, nothing but the porch light on to greet guests.

“Well…I hope you had fun tonight, peach…” she hums out softly when she finally turns to you, gentle green eyes shining in the dim lighting of her car, barely illuminated by the light beaming down from the moon in the clear night sky.

And you know you shouldn’t do it. You should just thank her for the night out, wish her a good night and go inside your house. You were tipsy, and you were extremely emotional, and you were lonely. All of it was a recipe for disaster, and you knew it.

But somehow, you don’t stop the words that fall from your lips.

“Do you wanna come inside?” You ask quickly, watching as the girls eyebrows raise in surprise at your sudden burst of hospitality. You inhale deeply before you continue.

“It’s late and…the least I could do is give you something to eat, or drink after making us leave early” you explain further, your hand gripping the edge of Ellie’s leather car seat as you stare at her.

When she doesn’t say anything, you feel like an idiot. She’s just staring at you and you suddenly feel like you’ve read into this all wrong, it’s been years! Why on earth would she want to come inside and hang out with her ex girlfriend, she probably has much better things to do.

“I’d love to” she beams out, giving you a bright smile before she opens her car door, gets out, and makes her way over to open yours to let you out.

You can practically feel the weight lift off of your chest when she agrees, a soft sigh of relief leaving your lips as you lead her to your front door, making your way up the steps and unlocking it before letting her in.

Ellie hums softly when you turn on the lights, eyes wandering around the familiar home as you toss your purse onto a nearby hanger, as well as kicking your shoes off near the front door.

She hangs her jacket up on the coat rack near the door like muscle memory right after she shuts the front door behind her, a soft smile on her lips as she watches you make your way to the kitchen and open up your fridge.

“I have water, iced tea, lemonade….” You list off the various contents in your fridge before you look over at the girl behind you, watching as she stands in the middle of your living room. “Water is fine” she hums out with a smile, which you nod and grab for her.

Your home is like a breath of fresh air compared to where you and Ellie where not even an hour ago, the two of you quickly falling into old habits as it takes no more than ten minutes for the two of you to make your way out to your back porch, taking a seat on the comfy outdoor couches your father had added in right before you moved out.

Another guttural laugh passes through your lips as you toss your head back, listening to Ellie catch you up on all the small town mishaps and shenanigans that you had missed, and yearned for oh so much since you'd gone.

"Are you kidding me? They fought over a decade old prom crown? I would have paid big money to see that shit" You gasp out, wiping a tear from the corner of your eye as you finally manage to catch your breath.

Ellie chuckles as she nods, bringing her water to her lips before she shrugs. "I'll tell you one thing, I had no idea those old ladies could move like that" She adds with a snort, ripping another burst of laughs from your sore chest.

You don't catch it, but Ellie simply watches you fondly as you toss your head back and laugh, a gentle smile playing on her lips as you struggle to find the words. It warms her heart even further to know that she was the one pulling that out of you, making you smile so big, laugh so hard.

You groan softly, exhaling tiredly as you place a hand on your chest as if to calm yourself. "Man....I seriously cannot remember the last time I've laughed this hard" You add, a soft, satisfied smile on your lips, unaware as to how sad your words may have sounded.

It hits you when you notice Ellie's gentle frown, the one that she gave whenever she was disappointed or when she knew something wasn't right.

"That's a shame...you used to laugh all the time when you were with me" She says matter-of-factly.

Her words catch you off guard, mostly because it was true. Being with Ellie was filled with nothing but smiles and laughs, the ones that had you keeling over and holding onto your belly as you shed a tear or two, unable to control the laughter that left your body, the happiness that filled you up when she was able to pull it out of you.

You hadn't even realized it, but you were pretty sure the last time you laughed like that, was with Ellie.

You hum softly, staring down at your lap as you toy with the frills of your dress, thinking back to all of those times, wishing so badly you could be that girl again.

Wishing you could live that life again.

It's getting late at this point, the warm summer breeze growing colder the higher the moon rises into the sky. It blows onto your skin, goosebumps littering your arms. You feel it's time to tell Ellie to leave, the air growing heavy as you both sit there in silence, her words hanging between you, begging to be responded to.

When you open your mouth to tell her that you're tired, and that she should probably head home, you're interrupted by the feeling of her calloused fingers gently gripping your chin, pulling you to look into her eyes.

"I....I don't know what happened...or why you two decided to split up..." she mumbles softly, and you know she's referring to your ex wife without even saying her name.

She inhales deeply, pink tongue darting out to wet her plump lips slowly before she speaks again. "But I couldn't imagine ever letting someone like you go....no matter what" she sighs out, her eyes staring into yours intensely.

And suddenly, you aren't you anymore. You are, but....you're a different you. You're the you that's filled with hopes and dreams, the you that wrote in her diary every night about everything she was going to do once she made it, the you that would peek her head out of her window to see her girlfriend standing out on her lawn, waiting to pick her up, take her out, and simply drive with the music on and the windows down, enjoying each others company.

You're the you, that's in love with Ellie.

Her green eyes sparkle like gems in the moonlight, the white light illuminating half of her pretty face, making a lump form in your throat as you struggle to find the words to say. You can feel her hand gently creep up to cup your face, and it makes your skin burn even hotter beneath her touch.

The familiar sound of the wind chimes rings through your ear, transporting you back to that very same night, five years ago when you were splayed out on the lawn that was a mere few feet away from you, kissing and loving on your girlfriend that you adored with all your heart.

Ellie hears them too, her eyes glancing up at them above your head. She chuckles softly, hand still caressing your cheek gently before she speaks. "Haven't heard those since the last time I saw you..." She hums out.

With that, it's as if your body moves itself for you, deciding your faith before you can, because you waste no time in leaning in and pressing your lips to hers in a kiss that can only be described as longing, having gone far too long without feeling the pair that they so desperately wanted pressed up against.

Ellie melts into you almost immediately, her other hand coming up to cup your cheek as she kisses you back passionately. Both of your hands come up to hold onto either of her wrists, keeping her close as you lean further into her, wanting more of the girl.

You need her more than air, easily letting her grip your thighs and tug you down to straddle her lap, your hands going up to tangle themselves in her soft hair. When she finally does break the kiss, her lips are on your neck, and your jaw, and your cheeks, and the corner of your mouth, eager to feel any part of you on her needy mouth as her hands roam your body eagerly.

"Missed you so fuckin' much...my dream girl" She moans out, making you whimper as you tug her hair back, angling her face back up towards yours before smashing your lips against hers.

"Let's....let's go inside...." You moan into her mouth, the kiss messy and sloppy as she nods eagerly before the request has even fully escaped your lips.

You waste no time crawling off her lap and tugging her inside, the two of you giggling and moaning as you stumble over your own feet in a dance of need and desperation, the both of you clearly in need of one another.

Ellie is tugging off her shirt as you two make your way through the door, helping you tug off your dress as she stumbles out of her jeans quickly after.

A pile of clothes leads the both of you to your bed, the girl laying you down and crawling over you, strong hands caressing your soft body, tugging at your bra and your panties, mouthing away at your newly exposed skin.

"You don't know how many times I've thought about this...thought about you like this" she admits, needy hands gripping at your waist, pulling you flush against her half naked body as she kisses up to your lips again, slowly pushing her tongue into your mouth as she groans against you, strong hands massaging your skin, kneading it between her fingers.

You moan into her, nodding eagerly as your hands tug her closer, wanting her as close to your body as possible.

"I have to..." you admit mindlessly.

You don't realize it then, but it's the first time that you've allowed yourself to admit that to someone, even to yourself. Those were secrets that you're buried down so deep into your mind, you weren't even sure they were true anymore.

Ellie was able to pull them out thought.

"Gonna...fuckin' worship you...like you deserve, baby.." she moans out, her lips pressing against your boobs that were spilling out of your bra, nipping and biting at your exposed skin.

But when she says that, it's like all the lights suddenly turned on.

It all comes weighing down on you in an instant, what happened, what you'd been through. Your wife had cheated on you with another woman, she promised you everything, the world at your feet if you asked for it, yet she still threw it all away as if none of it was real, as if none of it mattered.

Who's to say Ellie wouldn't do the same?

Your body goes limp beneath her, and Ellie catches onto it immediately, frowning gently as she pulls away to see her suspicions were confirmed.

"Baby? Hey...you with me angel?" She calls out as she watches you staring up at the ceiling, your eyes glossing over as if you weren't even there.

Because you weren't, you were back in your bedroom, in your apartment in the city, watching the woman you thought loved you back, fuck another woman into your mattress as if she were you.

You weren't ready for this.

"I...I can't do this.." You mumble out, voice cracking as your throat began swelling up from the tears pooling in your eyes.

Ellie is quick to sit up with you, tugging the blankets on your bed up so that you were able to shield your chest from the cold air that circled your room, her hand coming up to your back as she peered down at you, brushing your hair out of your face.

"Sweetheart, what is it? did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?" she urges, desperately trying her best to understand what happened, what caused the sudden shift in the atmosphere.

You feel sick to your stomach, shaking your head as the tears begin spilling out onto your cheeks, keeping the blanket tugged close to your chest as you brush Ellies hands away from your face.

"I can't...you need to leave...please leave!" you sob out, shaking your head as all the images of your ex wife come flooding in.

Ellie frowns deeply as she watches you push her away, shutting her out and putting those same walls up that she could feel even when you were miles and miles away from her in the city.

She knows she can't get through to you, not now at least. So she simply gets up off your bed, tugs on her t shirt and jeans, goes downstairs and walks out of your house, her heart breaking as she hears your sobs echoing through the house, following her as she left you there.

And as you laid there, crying in your bed once again, ugly images run through your mind,

it isn't the thought of your ex wife cheating on you, that hurts, but its merely a dull blade to your side now that you've felt Ellie again, those feelings coming back the second her lips were on yours.

No...it's the thought of Ellie doing those things. It's the thought of her promising you the world and still throwing it away, even after she put a pretty ring on your finger.

Because love is ruined for you now, and you aren't entirely sure you could trust anyone to give it to you again.

Even Ellie.

[explicit-tae]

Ungodly Hour (2)

You’re encouraged by Chaeyoung, your roommate, to use Jungkook thirst for you to your advantage.

Word Count: 2.314

Warning: smut, dirty talking, thirsty jk as always, also simp jk, facesitting, oral (m receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, semi-rough sex, jimin and mc are friendemies,

“Bitch.” Jimin murmurs beneath his breath as he passes you and all you can do is roll your eyes.

“So sassy.” you quip, a smirk forming onto your lips.

“Don’t listen to him.” Jungkook pipes in, holding two cases of water bottles in his arms. You furrow a brow, eyes admiring (in secret) how the veins on his arms pulse. “He’s just mad he had to help bring the groceries in.”

Jimin drops a few bags against your kitchen table and rolls his eyes. “I was promised breakfast. Instead I’m walking up three flights of stairs to put food in your kitchen.”

Jungkook scoffs, placing your water gently by the other two packs already on the ground inside the kitchen. Chaeyoung is excited, already putting away the groceries Jungkook - generously - provided. The cabinets were already full enough and she hadn’t even made it to the fridge or freezer. She could kiss Jungkook for the month supply of food - but you were already repaying him.

“Sucks to suck.” you shrug your shoulders when Jimin passed you again with even more bags. 

“You would know a lot about sucking.” Jimin retorts. 

“You want to fuck me so bad, Jimin.” you laugh and the comment catches Jimin completely off guard. He flushes, but you don’t want to tease the man any more.“You’re just upset, Jungkook  kicked you off of his account.” you cross your arms, and this struck a nerve in Jimin.

It was a month ago when Jimin had texted you - getting your number from Chaeyoung - just to tell you that you were everything but a civilized human being. Why? Because you had complained to Jungkook that whenever you were watching something, Jimin also was. And that meant - to satiate you - Jungkook had removed Jimin’s devices from his account and changed the passwords.

“I was binge watching The Real Housewives!” Jimin snaps. “But I suppose pussy is worth our friendship.” the man crosses his arms, eyes glancing at Jungkook. 

“You’ll get your breakfast.” Jungkook rolls his eyes. He rummages through his sweats and grabs his wallet. He hands Jimin a black card. 

“It’s the least you could do.” Jimin glances your way and rolls his own eyes. He leaves without a second word and all you could do is giggle.

“Do you have anything planned today? Classes?”

You shake your head. You were completely free today and have done so to repay Jungkook for his generous donation.

Jungkook nods. His eyes glance to Chaeyoung who is still happily organizing the insane amount of groceries. She’s humming to herself with a grin on her lips. 

“When is she leaving?” Jungkook murmurs, a red tint on his cheeks. He doesn’t want to come across as desperate - but that’s exactly what he was. He had replied far too fast to your tweet (and of course he would, he had your notifications on, afterall) and raced to the Supermarket first thing in the morning. 

You stroll towards Jungkook. You wrap your arms around his waist and knit your brows. “I can’t kick Chae out. She lives here, too.”

Jungkook nods, defeated. “We can watch a movie-”

“No.” Chaeyoung calls from the kitchen opening. “I’ll put my airpods in and put the rest of the groceries away. Don’t let me stop you from fucking his brains out.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen, flushing even a deeper shade of red. Chaeyoung speaks as if Jungkook isn’t there, her eyes solely on you. “Make sure you go multiple rounds. He bought everything name-brand!”

Jungkook tilts his head. 

“Let’s go!” you sing-song, grasping his hand to race towards your room. You open the door and close it behind you and Jungkook. 

“You guys must’ve been starving.” Jungkook jokes, his hands immediately on you. 

“A little.” you murmur, capturing your lips with his own. Kissing could be considered intimate, but at this stage, you were fucking Jungkook for about anything and for nothing. Sometimes you two weren’t even doing that - you watched movies together, studied whenever needed and just enjoyed each other's company. 

“Why didn’t you ask sooner?” Jungkook presses open mouth kisses upon the skin of your neck. He’s already dipping his hands beneath your pajama shorts to feel your ass.

“Just got on birth control.” you respond when he pulls your shorts off of you completely. You fall onto your bed. “Decided to use it to my advantage.”

Jungkook groans, hovering above you. That means that this didn’t have to be a one time thing - he could cum in you as much as you’d let him. “You don’t need to do anything for me, you know?” Jungkook lifts your shirt from your head, discarding it to the side. Your breasts fall freely and he’s already pressing kisses upon them. He does the same to his shirt soon after. “I don’t mind buying you things.”

You wrap your legs around his waist to bring him closer. You never want to admit that his words get to you. Fuck Jeon Jungkook and his good heart (and dick) for making you feel things you weren’t suppose to feel outside of sex .

“You must waste so much money on all these girls.” you attempt to sound unbothered by his words. His tongue is already swirling your nipple with his thumb pinching the other. “Fucking s-simp.” he’s grinding against your heat, the friction perfect.

“You know you’re the only one that has access to me.” Jungkook pops your nipple from his mouth. He proceeds to lick, eyes flickering to you. You press yourself tighter against his clothed cock, grinding against it. 

“I don’t.” You do - but it does something to you to hear him say it. Maybe it was an ego thing - a pride. It makes your head big just knowing that Jungkook would do anything you asked and expected next to nothing in return.

“You do, Y/N. You know you’re my girl.” Even if the agreement was to keep things completely sexual, to everyone but the two of you, this was a relationship. You hung out outside of sex far too often for this to be a regular friend with benefit type of situation - but it was like the blind leading the blind. “You wanna sit on my face?”

You nod your head hastily. In seconds, Jungkook was beneath you, tugging your underwear off so you could sit on him like he asked. The first time he requested it, you felt indifferent. You never sat directly on anyone before and you were afraid to suffocate him. However, Jungkook insisted and since then, sitting on his face has been your (and his) favorite position to try.

Jungkook isn’t the one to waste time. He’s suckling onto your clit with ease, hands gripping your thighs in place. He loves it more when you grind against his tongue - he enjoys watching you tremble with pleasure. He has the perfect view of not only your leaking pussy, but your breast and your beautiful face. It was the perfect position for him.

You were a truthful person - you’d give Jungkook his flowers. The man is insanely attractive and whenever you sat on his face, you could never last too long. Jungkook always insisted on watching you - he stated he loved the way you always crumbled for him. How you’d moan while grinding against his tongue.

It’s what Jungkook’s doing now. He locks his eyes with yours. He clenches your thighs as an unspoken response. 

“S-Stop looking at me.” you whine. You lift your hips, but Jungkook doesn’t allow it. He pulls you back down against his tongue.

“You’re always so stubborn.” Jungkook muffles between your legs. He’s flicking his tongue between your folds. “I know you’re about to cum, baby. Stop being so embarrassed.”

You mentally groan because of course there it was. That word. Jungkook knew how to fluster you - if he meant to do it or not. 

“Fine.” you grumble.

Jungkook slaps your thigh. “Now ride my face.” he says. He closes his eyes to not further fluster you, even if he did want to watch you cum right in front of him. 

You do as you’re told, grinding your hips against his tongue. Jungkook holds you in place, silently encouraging you to continue. You can feel the familiar bubble deep in your stomach and your hips pick up the pace. You release a deep moan, eyes fluttering close.

Jungkook takes a peek at you, feeling his cock twitch. So beautiful you were. He could watch you like this for as long as you’d let him.

Jungkook knows you’re going to cum once your moans become high pitched and your hips jerk. He doesn’t take his eyes off of your face as you come undone, his cock basically begging for a release.

You feel tired when you move yourself from Jungkook’s lips. You fall against your bed with a sigh.

Licking his lips, Jungkook hovers above you. “Tired?”

You nod your head. “A little.” you always were after cumming on his tongue. It was inevitable. 

Jungkook nods. “You hungry? I can…make us something?”

You groan once more. There he was again being nice and doing things to your heart that he wasn’t supposed to do.

“You can after you cum inside of me.”

It’s hard to ignore the bulge in Jungkook’s sweats.

“You sure. It’s okay-”

You slap Jungkook’s chest, interrupting his speech. “Shut the fuck up, Jungkook.” you hiss. “You’re too nice.”

Jungkook snickers. “You want me to be an insensitive asshole?” Yes you did. It made things easier. You told yourself (and Chaeyoung) that you wouldn’t fall for this nice boy act and become far too gone. He made it hard. Offering to make you cum was different than cooking for you.

“You do.” Jungkook hums. “Is that some type of kink?”

“Fuck you.” you hiss. “Maybe I just want you to be a little rough sometimes.”

Jungkook smirks, understanding your tone. You were closing yourself off because you were flustered - and the only way for you to calm yourself was to insult him.

“If that’s what you wanted, it’s all you had to say, baby.” Jungkook pushes his sweats down and kicks it off. His bulge is entirely too huge inside his underwear. “I’d do whatever you ask me to do.”

Shit. There he was again. Jungkook knew what he was doing.

“Turn around.” Jungkook slaps your thigh. “Since you want to be treated like a whore, I'll do just that.”

You may have turned entirely too quickly, but you couldn’t help it. 

Jungkook positions himself at your entrance. “Let me know if I’m too rough, okay?”

“Stop being a pussy.”

Jungkook only chuckles. 

Jungkook then enters you, you’re so wet that you take him far too easily. He begins his pace brutally, pushing your face down into your pillows. He keeps one hand tangled into your hair while the other grips your hips.

This was new. No, Jungkook wasn’t technically vanilla. He could be rough when needed - but this? This was a new side of Jungkook that has you clenching around him. With each thrust, he hits a nerve, sending you more and more over the edge. 

“No back talk?” Jungkook huffs, cracking his hips to fuck into you deeper. 

You want to tell Jungkook to go fuck himself, but then he pulls your hair back in a way that has you whimpering for more. 

“You always insist on being a bitch.” Jungkook releases your hair to wrap his arms around you. You feel his lips upon your neck, his hips never halting their abusive thrusts.

“But even if you are a bitch, you know I love it.”

“S-Shut up.” you whimper.

Jungkook doesn’t. Instead, he flips you onto your back so he can watch you while he fucks you. 

“No.” Jungkook spits, continuing the same brutal pace. He has your knees touching your shoulders, the new position allowing him to fuck you even deeper than before. “You don’t like it when I'm nice to you. You want me to treat you like some whore.”

Your eyes are rolling now. There’s no way Jungkook could be fucking you entirely this good that you’re unable to form words.

“But you aren’t some whore to me, Y/N. You know you’re still my girl.” Jungkook places a kiss upon your cheek. “So I’ll treat you like a bitch in heat now, then I’ll cook for us, yeah?”

Jungkook doesn’t wait for your response. He leans back and places his thumb upon your clit. He begins to rub, determined to make you cum again.

You’re stuttering, jerking away from Jungkook, the overstimulation completely unbearable. 

“Stop running, isn’t this what you wanted?”

So pretty, Jungkook thinks. You could be a bitch sometimes, but it’s what he likes about you. He enjoys the playful bickering he entertains and your feisty attitude. He enjoys it even more when he does entertain you in these little games you play just for you to lose at your own game - much like how you were now.

Jungkook’s thrusts are sloppy once you cum, a twitching mess beneath him. Your eyes are rolling and you’re no longer trying to hide your moans.

Jungkook presses his lips against yours, grunting into it while he gives one last thrust. His cum shoots inside of you, coating your warm walls.

It takes a few minutes for Jungkook to lay beside you. He feels just as tired as you must’ve felt earlier, panting low to himself.

“You still hungry?”

Your eyelids are fluttering closed, suddenly heavy. “Sleepy.” you murmur, laying your head against Jungkook's chest. 

Jungkook wraps an arm around you. “You’re also so cuddly after a good fucking.” he teases. 

“Fuck you.”

“I will after our nap.” Jungkook laughs. “We have all day for me to turn you into my little twinkie-”

Your body heats up and you slap Jungkook’s chest, but once again, all he does is laugh.

Series Masterlist

[yougavemeyourheartyouknow]

Thinking about baby daddy!Miguel O’Hara that starts to invite you over to do activities more often during his weeks with Gabriella, saying it would be good to show your daughter that you both still had a good relationship with each other. Which struck you as odd since you two genuinely have always gotten along anyways but you decided to ignore it and brush it off.

Baby Daddy!Miguel who invites you over to his place on a hot summer day, saying that he’s having a pool party with a bunch of your friends. Insisting you bring the guy you’ve been talking to so he can finally meet him and totally doesn’t want him there to prove to him that he’s not worth your time.

Baby Daddy!Miguel who can’t keep his eyes off you when you come out to the backyard after having changed into his favorite a bikini, asking Mj to help you apply sunscreen on your back. Wishing it was his hands rubbing it into your skin instead.

Baby Daddy!Miguel who rolled his eyes when your not-boyfriend-but-more-then-a-talking-stage guy finally arrived over three hours late with the wrong type of beer, seeing him come in with a pack of Bud Light when Miguel was strictly a Modelo man. “Accidentally” squeezing his hand a bit too tight when he shakes it.

Baby Daddy!Miguel who made sure to keep telling stories about you two from your time together, not sparing any details as he and all the guys/dads gathered around the grill while Miguel turned over the carne asada y Pollo asado he was grilling. Not even caring about the looks your new boy toy would throw at him. His best friend Peter and his brother Gabriel both shooting each other a knowing look.

Baby Daddy!Miguel who took the aux from Peter and switched the music over to his spanish playlist, totally not on purpose starting off with the song Que Malo from Bad Bunny, then immediately after the playlist start to play Eres Mía from Romeo Santos, you didn’t even have time to think about the song choices before Miguel dragged you over to dance per your daughter’s request.

—

“I’m sorry Peter, but if I have to hear you play it wasn’t me from shaggy again, I’ll lose it.” Miguel exasperated as he unplugged his friend's phone mid song, earning a protest from Peter, but Miguel just shook his head as he plugged his own phone. “You’ve placed that song at every function since we were 18.”

You couldn’t help but let out a small squeal of excitement as Bad Bunny took over the backyard. Singing along to the song as you pass around another round of drinks to the guys at the grill, completely oblivious to the subliminal message that Miguel was sending you as you recited Ñengo Flows part. A new modelo in each one of the guy’s hands (well except your talking stage, he had a Bud light), it seems that your new little friend didn’t seem to understand a lick of Spanish, the message of the song completely flying over his head as he nodded along to the beat mindlessly.

Once the song ended, the new one played, Eres Mía, your brows scrunched a bit at the sudden genre changing. You were in the middle of crossing the grass lawn to where Miguel’s phone was sitting next to the speaker to change it, when you suddenly felt the small fingers of your daughter’s hand dragging you back.

“Mami! Ma! Baile con Papi! I love it when you two dance to these songs.” She begged, you usually wouldn’t mind doing so when she asked you too, but since the guy you were talking to was here, it would feel awkward if he watched you dance something as intimate as bachata with your ex. (Mommy ! Mom! Dance with dad!)

“I-I don’t know Gabi-“ You started, once you finally stopped in front of Miguel, your face filled with a bit of confusion on what to do. Miguel noticed and waved his hand as if reassuring you it’s no big deal.

“He won’t care, right bud?” He said as he nodded towards your guest, but before he could say an answer Miguel’s hands were already wrapped around the small of your back, as he started to guide you through the dance.

You just decided to go along with it, it’s not a big deal right? It’s only one dance.

—

Part 2<

Part 4<

Not proofread.

Word count: 700

Taglist: @ginnysculture @mishaglass @wusyanamee @mangoslushcrush @queerponcho @bunnibitez @miguelzslvtz @migueloharastruelove @dahehow @sinners-98-world @othersideoftheparadise @toyfortoji @yeshajane @yvesbi

(If you Would like to be added pls say so, I’m sorry if I missed anyone lmk if I did!)

[lemonlover1110]

hii! I just want to say that the nanami dad series is my absolute favvv, I'd like to request toddler Chichi being the biggest mommy's girl ever LOL

Kento Nanami

Warnings: Pure Fluff

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

Kento has never had this issue before. He’s faced a lot of issues as a father, but not one like this… He can’t be mad at it and he can’t scold a toddler for it either– But there must be something wrong. As much as he loves you, there’s absolutely no way that you’re Chichi’s favorite parent.

“Mama!” Chichi stops paying attention to him the moment she sees you, even when he’s wearing a pink sparkly dress and a tiara. Chichi goes running to you, and you pick her up from the floor, proceeding to kiss her chubby cheeks.

Suki is focused on making her father beautiful, putting some eyeshadow and lipgloss on him, not caring too much that you’ve entered the room. Suki’s generally more drawn to her father, she always has been, so he doesn’t know how to deal with this issue.

He loves his daughters equally, but his daughters don’t love him equally. Maybe he’s forgotten some stage in Suki’s life that she was a total mama’s girl… Except he hasn’t. He won’t say it to your face, but he’s always known that Suki has a favorite parent and it’s him; therefore, he recognizes the signs. 

“What are my girls doing? Making daddy beautiful?” You sound like you’re on the verge of laughing. Seeing Kento like this always comes as a shock to you, even though it happens often in your household.

“Yeah, Chichi is helping Suki out today.” Kento answers, hoping it’ll get his youngest daughter’s attention. She doesn’t spare him a glance, instead she’s trying to reach for your hair. “Isn’t that right, Chichi?”

“Mama, movie.” Chichi completely ignores him, and he won’t lie, it stings. 

“You sure you don’t want to play with papa?” You ask her, seeing the pout that comes over Kento’s face. A man that’s capable of hiding any emotion is pouting… He’s either really upset or wants to get a message across.

“No.” She shakes her head, and you don’t laugh because it’s like making fun of your husband’s misery. It’s nice to be the favorite for once. 

“You coming, Suki?” You ask your eldest, not wanting to leave her behind. But before she can answer, Kento wraps her arms around her and brings her closer to him.

“She’s mine.” He wants to get a message across, and you can’t help but laugh. You’ve never seen your husband act like this, and he’d never act like this with anything else– There’s just something about his daughters.

“Woah, you can come too, big man. Was just making an offer.” You tell him before walking out of the place, your youngest in your arms.

“You wanna go with them too, Suki?” Kento sighs defeatedly, not believing that he’s acting like this because of a toddler’s actions. She shakes her head, wrapping her tiny arms around his neck.

“I have to make you beautiful, daddy.” Which brings a smile to his lips. At least he’s her favorite.

His daughters might not love him the same, but he sure loves his daughters will all of him.

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

Quarterfinals, Match 2

expand to see all propaganda received! (wall of text warning oh my god this is a severe cautionary message)

Lauryn Hill:

"she paved the way and was hot as fuck the whole time"

"Girl c'mon. Look at her. You're gonna try and tell me that isn't the most beautiful and attractive person alive? Okay. You're lying but okay."

"if u freaks don't give ms. lauryn hill the respect she deserves..."

"actually one of the prettiest women ever I'm such a lesbian for her. like irl I'm already a lesbian but she is helping"

Damon Albarn:

"Don’t think Damon should be here? Why don’t you get your head checked by a jumbo jet? Maybe you’ll feel heavy metal and calm down."

"If Damon is in the “some guy” category, he’s the heavenly and heartbreaking version. Damon is the sort of significant stranger I’d see on the train out of Colchester but could never speak to, just a face seen in passing yet too radiant to be real. I’d fall in love for an hour and carry the ache for a month."

"Damon sets the standard for me. I think he’s the most fascinating man alive. What I find attractive in Damon is not just his gorgeous bone structure and boyish charm, but how wholly he’s committed himself to music. Damon is an artist who walked the walk: in one of his roughest years with some of his rawest songwriting, he said he was no longer excited by anything except the creative process. He was disillusioned with the celebrity of it all, with his relationships suffering for it, and only wanted to make art: nothing more, nothing less. He would go on to compose film scores, write operas and stage musicals, produce other artists’ records, form collectives to fulfill his passion for world music, and create some of the most globally successful music of his career in a completely innovative format that placed him as the phantom behind the characters. Whenever one band takes a break, he makes a solo record or puts together a supergroup to stay busy. He’s uniquely collaborative and still writes personal letters inviting artists to record with him, and yet can function as a one-man show, acting as a multi-instrumentalist, a singer-songwriter and a producer. He’s been a constant voice of bringing British music to the world *and* bringing world music into Britain. Sure, he’s won Brit Awards and a Grammy among others, but he also has a Guinness World Record and was named an Officer of the British Empire for his services to music; his long work with Africa Express earned him respect even from peers who’d previously dismissed him, and his commitment to support his Malian collaborators in the face of violence earned him the title of Local King in Mali. There is so much talent in the world, but there is truly no one else with a career that looks like Damon Albarn’s. Damon is far more than just a prettyboy to look nice on a magazine cover, but looks are the ultimate point of this tournament, so make no mistake: he was terribly, terribly pretty. You watch him performing in the 90s, you sift through photoshoots and interviews and documentaries, and it feels *cruel* how beautiful he was. If his talent was god-given, so was his face. To put a bow on this thesis: I don’t know if Gorillaz and Damon’s musical universe would be the experimental, globe-trotting, boundary-pushing community affair it is if Blur hadn’t become such a central figure in Britpop and if Damon had not been made such a media spectacle, and I don’t know if Damon would have been that spectacle if he wasn’t so ungodly pretty. The domino effect is that Damon’s cherubic face launched a thousand multimedia art school projects for decades to come."

"I wish I was basically any bloke in the 90s so I could tongue Damon Albarn down. Damon will see a man and ask “is anyone gonna kiss that?” and not wait for a response."

"I have a pillow with his face on it. I sleep with it every night 😊"

"“I’m more homosexual than Brett Anderson, always have been. As far as bisexuality goes, I’ve had a taste of that particular fruit, or have been tasted you might say…” is just the rawest most Shakespearean statement ever"

"he is the ultimate Pretty Boy ™. his glorious golden locks, his electric blue eyes. he is if Princess Diana was a Britpop Dude. he is the Regina George of Britpop. he is if Aphrodite took male form. Zeus would come down to earth to fuck him if he knew. he is a caffeinated orange cat let loose. he is deranged. he is unhinged. you never know what will come out of his mouth. he had sexual tension with every single man who knew him. he pulled justine fucking frischmann. his aura knows no bounds. he is a siren. he is a weird guy. but being so gorgeous stunning ethereal didn't stop him from also being one of the most prolific songwriters of his generation"

"THE MAIN BLUR"

"literally where do i even begin. i could write entire essays on this man. a good place to start would be the beetlebum music video, i suppose. i'll never forget the first time i watched that music video. something in me changed, my brain chemistry was altered, my life was never the same, i view the world a lot differently now. and a lot of the viewing i'm doing is of pictures of damon albarn's face because of boy do i have a lot of those saved. every time i try to look for a photo of something on my phone i can't find it because there's so much damon. okay that's maybe an exaggeration but this man has the most unfathomable beauty ever. his eyes? HIS EYES. god dammit i love his eyes i want to stare at them until the end of time like nothing else exists. i'm so normal about this man (lying) and while i'm usually very shameless about my interests i'm actually incredibly glad this propaganda is anonymous because otherwise. yeah. but the world deserves to see damon albarn's beauty and also hear his fantastic voice because what the fuck. his voice is literally the most gorgeous sound ever produced like bro sounds like that and expects me not to fall in love? i want this man to sing his silly songs and talk absolute nonsense to me until the sun eventually blows out and the world ends. cmon damon girlies let's demolish this tournament i know there are a lot of you."

"He’s beautiful. He’s a little rat. He’s a sweetheart. He’s a dickhead. He’s a musical genius. He’s a dumb bitch. He’s a jock. He’s a weirdo. He’s real. He’s an illusion. He’s everything. He’s just Damon."

"DAMON DAMON DAMON where do I begin oh jeez I've hyperfixated on this man for a solid 4 years and still going strong. Damon makes me wish that British people are real. That says A LOT. This man created a whole ass ANIMATED BAND WITH A SHIT TON OF LORE as a SIDE HUSTLE??? Not to mention, what other man has collaborated with Stevie Nicks, MF DOOM, Del the Funky Homosapien, Snoop Dogg, AND Beck?! People, we're literally in the presence of a god. And he's STILL GOING. Anyways, TL;DR, damon is so so so neat and cool and he should definitely win this competition. Thank you."

"Okay 90s Damon is The Perfect Boy yes yes, but the people who parrot the Daily Mail and say "he's ugly now" will never understand. I would still suck every drop from him on his deathbed."

"Vote for whoever you want to. But Damon is so pretty."

"i did not spend hours admiring this beautiful man's face on pinterest just to see him lose."

"Damon Albarn just brings me joy. When I'm watching him perform, following along as the camera lingers on and adores his pretty face, I get butterflies like I'm 15 again. It's nice to still feel that totally unguarded giddiness sometimes."

"God let the intrusive thoughts win making Damon. What if he's a beautiful blond twink with eyes like saucers and dick to his knees, he reads Herman Hesse and plays footie and is insufferable about both, he'll be the most prolific musician of his generation and write operas and seminal albums in 5 different genres and also he's gonna be the dumbest bitch alive? He'll also be kinda bi, but only kinda. And send."

"when i found out about his existence, my life was changed forever. i wish i could use him like the hannah montana boot milk pillow and chuck him at the wall so he makes a loud thud"

"Think of the drama and anon fights it'll cause if Damon wins it all! And think of how quiet it'll get after Damon's out. You'll miss him when he's gone, like memories of a noisy house years after it's grown silent. Choose Damon, and keep the messy train chugging."

"Even the Gallagher brothers have the hots for him."

"Kiss kiss I love him also you can't vote for any of the Seattle men they're literally copy and paste it's not fair. We need Brit representation"

"I want to take care of him, I want to provide for him. I need to gauge his baby blue puppy dog orbs out to I can clean them with wood varnish, paint shades of Pantone 320 C in his eyes, spray eau de parfume by dior in them and sew it back into his eyes like that scene in Toy Story 2."

"Seeing as simply filling the page with ‘Damon’ written 10000000 times isn’t going to cut it 😅 may I admit/submit: I DO have him tattooed on my being (no descriptive, is this anon?); he’s inspired somewhat unhinged late night/early morning fandom conversations in which I’ve served as ‘parish’ priest hearing confessions from all manner of folk about what they’d like to do to him/receive from him; sadly I lost an essay where I detailed why the letters that make up his name suit him so well, and described him as the hot caramel sauce to Graham’s cool vanilla ice cream. He’s a faerie princess with a nose that makes people weep and a voice that feels like the warmest home and he gives amazing hugs. He loves trains and chickens and his tuxedo cat. He’s annoying and sweet and somewhat unhinged and his music saves people and all this is on top of that fantastic dick. He’s a dream yet very real and we’re fucking blessed to be on earth at the same time as him, amen"

"Damon Albarn was a beautiful, beautiful boy. The world saw that, regardless of if every individual reading this has the same taste in men; it felt like a truth of the universe at the time. They don't make celebrities that angelic in face and erratic in personality anymore."

"I need to touch his eyebrows, nose and prostate just one time JUST ONE TIME COME ON"

[trivia-yandere]

Hi Hello

I was wondering if you could do the Idol!au version of "best friends!"? I LOVED this I would like to see from the perspective where Jungkook(or any of the other boys) is an idol and has a friend wanting to lose his virginity to an idol close to him, you know?

hello! yes I can! i like the concept, thank you for sending a request and being patient 💜some things have been changed, but overall it's similar

seonbaenim!

your group decides they want to shed the “good girl” image for your next comeback & you confide in your seonbae, Jungkook, in helping you do so. @momnomnom @sweetempathprunetree @darkuni63 @minshookie29

word count: 10.347

warning: alcohol intake, kissing, coercion, slight intoxication, smut, dub-con, manipulation, jealous/possessive behavior, naive reader, praising, dirty talking, unsolicited touching/groping, masturbating, oral sex, loss of virginity, fingering, licking, nipple sucking, unprotected sex, squirting,

non-idol version

“Thank you, seonbaenim. For offering to help me.” you bow your head to Jungkook, hands clenching with nervousness. “It’s an honor having someone like you helping me with my comeback.”

Jungkook offers a soft grin, the piercing on his lip glistening underneath the studio lights. “No need to thank me, Y/N. You don’t have to be formal, either. We’re friends, aren’t we?”

You swallow and nod your head. You don’t want to be rude - Jungkook has been an idol for years, far before your debut, and you held great respect and admiration for him. 

“Yes, we are friends.” you assure Jungkook - it was one of the reasons he insisted on helping you. 

You met Jungkook two years prior, him complimenting you once your group was done performing. He was someone you’d go to for advice when needed. He would show you songs he was working on, even if they were unreleased and you’d do the same.

Now, Jungkook had offered to help you with your comeback - he had listened to you vent to him about your struggles countless times. 

“So, let’s go talk about this comeback.” Jungkook claps his hands together. “You told me you were having a hard time?”

You nod. 

“What’s the aesthetic your group is looking for?”

You’re growing hot underneath Jungkook’s gaze.

“A more…mature approach.” you murmur, twiddling your fingers. “Break away from the innocent good girl look we’ve had.”

Jungkook nods and hums. “So, sexy.” he snorts when your eyes grow wide. “Your group is having a sexy type comeback. That’s good.” he nods his head. “Good girls gone bad? Girls gone wild?”

Jungkook laughs at the horrified look on your face.

“Relax, Y/N. I’m just teasing.” Jungkook assures. “What are you having a hard time with exactly?”

You inhale deeply then exhale. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself more than you already were, but Jungkook was here now willing to help you and this isn’t something you can ruin.

“I’m not sexy.” you respond. “My sisters are. They can channel it and I just can’t.”

Jungkook’s taken aback by your words. So you were feeling insecure about your lack of sex appeal. It’s then that Jungkook takes over your figure, not caring if you noticed or not. 

“You want my help with your sex appeal?”

Hearing it said like that makes you want to crawl in a hole and die. You hide your face with your hands, completely mortified. 

Jungkook chuckles. “It’s okay, Y/N. I’m sure you have amazing sex appeal-”

“Please stop.” you quip - you’d rather die than for him to continue to pity you. “Just forget I said anything.”

“Y/N. Look at me.”

The seriousness in Jungkook’s tone has you complying. 

“Anyone can be sexy.” You want to say that it was easy for him to say. For Jungkook, it was like a switch. You’ve watched the man on stage become an entirely different person than the sweet man who you’ve become close with. “You just need to bring it out.”

You nod your head, unsure of how to bring another side of you out.

“Your sister’s seem to be naturals.” Jungkook notes. “Why do you think it’s difficult for you?”

You want to scoff. You shared the group with your sisters, both older than you. Sexy did appear to come natural for them. You were often left in their shadow and was nothing but their younger, shy sister. In interviews, you’d allow them to speak for you often, not wanting to make a fool of yourself if or when you said the wrong thing.

Jungkook waits for a response. He’s sure he understands. He was an observant man, after all. He’s watched the way you’ve grown in the last couple years, watching you on stage he was sure you were often in your own head and afraid of messing up. Your mistakes were light and easy to fix, but that didn’t mean you weren’t often criticized for it. He’s watched the group's music videos and it was then did you shine - but it was a music video, meaning you were also edited that way.

“Y/N?”

You blink. You swallow the lump in your throat and before you can apologize, Jungkook speaks once more. 

“Are you a virgin?”

Jungkook is positive he knows the answer already, but he wants to hear you say it. There had to be a deeper reason as to why you were struggling with this when your sisters weren’t. It could be because they were older, yes, and had more experience - but you were an adult, too. 

Jungkook gets his answer when you visibly stiffen. He licks his lips and offers you a smile. 

“Maybe that’s why you’re having a difficult time in appearing sexy. We’re friends, right?” Jungkook scoots his chair closer to you. “What have you ever done with a man?”

You feel a shudder run up your spine at his words. You’re unsure how to respond, far too humiliated to be speaking with your seonbae about your sex life - or lack of.

“Not much.” you murmur, a slight squeak in your voice. 

“Have you ever touched a man?” Jungkook doesn’t want to push you over the edge, he has eyes. He notices the way your foot is slightly shaking with nerves. However, there’s something inside of him - a new interest, maybe? - that wants to know. “Has a man ever touched you?”

You shake your head, eyes glancing away from Jungkook’s intense one. He was going to think you were pathetic, probably laugh in your face about your lack of experience. 

“That’s good.” Jungkook says, even surprised with the tone in his own voice. Your eyes snap to him, wide and shocked. He lightly chuckles at your reaction. “You can learn, Y/N. But no one can ever make you feel sexy until you feel it within yourself.”

Jungkook leans back into the chair. His eyes roam around your figure. You’re dressed comfortably, but he knows the figure you have beneath it. Again, he’s watched you on stage in the outfits the stylist put you in. You had whatever it took to be sexy - it was your own self holding you back. 

“How about we discuss this over dinner. I’m starving and we’ve been at this for hours now. You have to be hungry, too.” Jungkook gives you an assuring smile - a smile that tells you that this is safe. To trust him - and you did.

You’ve never been to Jungkook’s home before, and when he suggested dinner you thought it would be some form of takeout at the studio. “I have food that we can heat up at my house.” Jungkook had told you, and now here you sat, legs crossed as the both of you enjoyed the ramen he had prepared.

“So, what do you think you need to do to feel sexy?” Jungkook asks. He pours the wine into both glasses, lightly pushing yours towards you. 

You smell the wine before tasting it. It’s a bit strong, but you don’t want to appear rude and decline it. “Maybe, look the part?” you respond after a few moments. 

Jungkook nods. He changes the subject, asking then about how you were adjusting to being an idol - even if it has been over two years. With each passing conversation, he’s assured to refill each of your wine glasses until he notices the slight glossy look in your eyes.

“Look.” Jungkook speaks, facing you towards the tall mirror on his wall. He’s directly behind you, hands on your shoulders. “Your group has potential, Y/N. I know this comeback would be like no other.” Jungkook is sure of himself, as well, because this time you had him helping you. “This time, you’ll be the star. Not your sisters.”

You laugh with a shake of your head. You felt more comfortable and maybe that was the wine’s doing. Your jacket had been left somewhere in Jungkook’s living room, and now you’re left in a short sleeved shirt. 

“Why are you laughing? You don’t believe me?” Jungkook squeezes your shoulders gently. “Follow me.”

Jungkook turns away from you face and you stumble just to follow him. He takes you down a long hallway until he stops in front of a door. “This is my room.” he says as he opens the door to it. It’s simple, nothing too extravagant or over the top like you assume it would be for an idol with money like him. “Have you taken your concept photos yet?”

You shake your head. “It’ll be tomorrow, actually.” you respond.

“Good.” Jungkook murmurs. “Sit down on my bed.”

You do as you’re told. It feels weird being in his bedroom, but you don’t allow yourself to overthink. Jungkook goes to his closet for a moment and returns with a camera in hand. He hands you the camera after turning it on. 

“I’ll have you take pictures of me first.” Jungkook says. “Just so you can see what I do and replicate it, okay?”

You nod your head. Your palms are sweaty and you’re frightened more than you were going to somehow drop and break such an expensive camera into pieces.

Nonetheless, you  do as Jungkook tells you. You snap the pictures, all of which he nails. With each picture, he explains what you’re expected to do; “You have to look directly into the camera, don’t shy away.” , “Don’t be afraid to show some skin, either. You aren’t a child.” 

“Ready?” Jungkook asks once the both of you had gone over the pictures you’ve taken.

Your mind swirls but you can't back down now. “Ready.” you nod.

Jungkook snaps a few pictures. You’re stiff, posing as if you’ve never been photographed before, but that was your nerves talking to you.

“Do you want this, Y/N?” Jungkook asks after around 10 minutes. Somehow he managed to pour even more wine, this time you’re gulping it down without a care. You need your nerves to be calmed. “You have to show me you’re serious. You don’t want to live in your sister's shadows forever, right?”

You take a deep breath and shake your head. You didn’t want to be known as the shy one - the one that no one bothered to look at. You couldn’t waste any of Jungkook’s time - he didn’t have to help you, but he was. 

Jungkook watches through the lens of the camera the way it happened - the switch that turns on and had you changed from the shy girl you were, to the girl he knew you could be. It started with your eyes - the way you looked right at him through the lens, not faltering once. Your eyes - sharp, seductive and fierce.

Jungkook licks his lips, lowering his camera to look directly at you. He takes a few steps closer to your position onto his bed, dropping his camera not far from you. On the ground sat the half empty wine bottle and your glass. He proceeds to pour some more in and take a few sips.

“More wine?” Jungkook asks cooly with a raised brow. 

You nod your head without thinking, reaching your hand out to grab the glass. Jungkook dodges your attempts and instead, raises the glass above your head. “Come here, Y/N.”

You do as you’re told. Your mind is attempting to focus on everything right now, but you were already tipsy. You rarely drink - especially wine.You always assumed that it was an exaggeration when people said they can get drunk from wine - but with the way you are now, you know it's anything but an exaggeration. 

You’re at the edge of Jungkook’s bed now, meeting him where he wants you at. Your knees are pressed firmly into the mattress, hands placed neatly in your lap. Jungkook thinks you appear cute; obedient.

Jungkook places a hand on your cheek, his thumb tracing your lips. You feel hot at his actions, your mind hazy. “Put your head back.” Jungkook murmurs his command and again, you comply. Your neck is exposed to him. It’s bare from any blemishes and Jungkook thinks how you’d look with marks on you - purplish bruises and teeth marks, maybe even prints from his own hands around your neck.

“Open your mouth.” Jungkook says breathily. 

You gulp, but comply. You grunt when Jungkook's thumb dips inside of your mouth and presses it onto your tongue, slightly bringing it out. Then, he removes his tongue when he has you where he wants to. Your eyes watch as Jungkook pours the wine into your mouth slowly, the wine sliding onto your tongue and down your throat ever so slowly. Jungkook watches intently when a bit of the wine falls from the corner of your mouth and trails your neck just as slowly. 

You swallow the wine once Jungkook is done, your tongue licking the corner of your mouth and exhaling.

Jungkook drops the wine glass onto the floor by the bed where it was prior. He leans down close to your face, his breath tickling your skin. “Have you ever kissed a man?”

You nod slowly. It was only a peck - a kiss from a classmate - and that was the last kiss you’ve had. You were an idol now and couldn’t focus on dating.

“I see.” Jungkook hums, his lips pouting slightly. “So I suppose you don’t want to kiss me then.”

You released a low gasp. You blink a few times, unsure of what’s going on. You couldn’t have been this drunk, surely.

“Seonbaenim…” you murmur.

“I don’t think you want it enough, Y/N.” Jungkook tells you. He’s so close and your eyes have a difficult time focusing on him. “I’m trying to make you the true star I know you can be.”

“I do.” you exclaim, your hands clenching into your lap. You don’t want to upset him - to make Jungkook feel as if you were taking his assistance for granted.

Jungkook leans away from you and takes back his camera. He nods at you. “Prove it to me.” is all he says.

You glance at the camera in his hands and then up at him. He raises the camera once more, ready to begin snapping pictures. 

Maybe it was the wine getting to you. You didn’t have a lot of thoughts screaming at you to stop you from removing your shirt. You throw it aside, your eyes staring at the lens to reclaim the prior sex appeal. 

Jungkook doesn’t notice his breathing increase - not until you go to remove your leggings. It wasn’t as if you wore lingerie - Jungkook understood that this isn’t what you were expecting to do. But your appearance is captivating enough, a lacy bra with matching panties, both black. 

You do countless poses and Jungkook allows you, not once speaking. Your first pose was pushing your knees far apart and pushing your chest out. Your hands move slowly up your chest, a slight tilt to your head.

Jungkook doesn’t realize how close he’s gotten to you until his knees hit the mattress. Now, you’re on your back, slightly arching. Your eyes are on the camera and your breast is pushed towards the ceiling. You appear to be teasing him, Jungkook thinks, the way your fingers hook beneath your bra strap teasingly, as if you were daring to push them down.

“Seonbaenim…?” you murmur. You haven’t heard the camera shutter for the last few minutes. “Did I do good?”

Jungkook slowly smiles and nods his head. He presses a knee against the mattress, allowing himself to come closer to you. “You’re a good girl, Y/N.” he tells you, and your heart swells at the compliment. “Come here.”

You lift from the mattress as if in a trance. Jungkook lifts your chin with his index finger, his dark eyes staring into your own. 

“Tomorrow, we’re going to try the song again, okay?”

“Yes.” you nod.

“For now…” Jungkook leans a little closer, a few inches away. “...kiss me.”

You gulp. Opening your mouth to respond.

“It wasn’t up for debate, Y/N.” Jungkook interrupts before you can speak. “I need to know you’re serious about this. I won’t have you wasting my time.”

Your eyes widen and without thinking, you kiss Jungkook. Jungkook deepens the kiss, wanting nothing more than to hold you close to him. The thought of flipping you over runs through his mind, to grind into you until you’re begging him for more, but Jungkook refrains from doing son.

“I’m going to make you a star, Y/N.” Jungkook speaks once the kiss ends. “This comeback will be your moment. I’ll be sure of it.”

There’s something sinister about the way you allow Jaehyun to touch your head, Jungkook thinks. He pats it playfully, gently rubbing it. There’s a smile on his own lips as he greets you with a warm welcome.

What made it even more sinister to Jungkook was the way you appeared. You were smitten by his older friend. If this was a show, your eyes would’ve turned to the shape of hearts and a pink glow wouldn’t shine throughout you.

Jungkook leans back into his seat, tongue in cheek. With a tilt of his head, Jungkook has had enough - especially when you giggle at something Jaehyun has said.

“I don’t have all day.”

Your head snaps to Jungkook and quickly you bow and apologize. As you were arriving, Jaehyun was leaving, having visited Jungkook at the studio for a bit. He and you spoke, him giving you a greeting as you arrived.

Jaehyung hums as you sit besides Jungkook, the man's stare hard as you do so. Judging by your appearance, you were cowering besides the man.

“I’ll see you later, hyung.” Jungkook says to Jaehyun, dismissing his friend. “We have work to do.”

Jaehyun nods, his eyes flickering to you for a moment. He leaves without another word, the door shutting behind him quietly. 

“Do you take me for a joke, Y/N?”

Jungkook’s tone is vicious. It causes you to flinch at the sudden change in atmosphere. 

“Seonbae-”

“Do you want to fuck him?” questions Jungkook, his voice changing to a softer tone. You swallow, eyes wide. “You want to lose your virginity to him? After I’m putting in the work to make you shine?”

“Seonbaenim, I don’t understand-”

“No, you don’t.” Jungkook snickers. “Don’t waste my time, Y/N. I’m the one that’s helping your comeback. Not anyone else.”

You nod your head, eyes glancing away from Jungkook. He looks visibly upset, as if he was scolding a disobedient child. 

Jungkook sighs. “Look at me.” he tells you mellowly. His hand places itself on your own and gently squeezes. “I’m sorry for being so harsh on you, Y/N. You know I believe in you and your talent, right?”

You nod, not really sure if he did or not - but you didn’t want to disagree with him.

“I’d hate anyone to take advantage of you, Y/N. I know how men are. Especially in this industry. You’re a sweet girl.” his thumb rubs against your knuckles. “You have a certain look on you, you know?”

“What do you mean?” you question. Your eyes finally meet him once more. “Is that a bad thing?” you were beginning to feel self-conscious.

“No, of course not. You’re my good girl.” Jungkook squeezes your hand, lips forming into a warm smile. There’s something bubbling inside you at Jungkook words. “You have an innocent aura surrounding you. People would want to take advantage of that. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I see.” you murmur, slowing nodding. “Thank you, seonbaenim.”

“Jungkook.” Jungkook corrects. “You don’t have to be formal with me. We’re friends.”

You smile and Jungkook then releases your hand. “Okay. I’ve listened to your sister's part of the song and they’re good.”

You bite your lip. 

“That doesn’t mean yours isn’t good. It is. But…” Jungkook trails off. “I think you should give me more passion. Be more…sensual.”

“I-I can do that.” you shake your head to agree with him. 

“Okay.” says Jungkook. He points his head to the side. “You wanna record it?”

“Yes.” you inhale and exhale a few times as you enter the small room, the microphone placed in the middle of the room. You grasp the headphones and place it over your head. 

Jungkook’s eyes connected with yours as he played the instrumental. Your voice is good - you’re a great singer. But you needed to be more than a great singer to outshine your sisters. Initially, he wasn’t here to help you outshine them - but he promised you that you’d be a star - and Jungkook never went back on his promises. 

Jungkook turns the music off with a click. “More passion.” he says. “Again.”

Your voice hits his ears once more as he plays the instrumental. It’s melodic and he’s positive he can hear it again and again and again.

“Y/N.” Jungkook turns off the music once more. You visibly stiffen. Jungkook was a perfectionist naturally and he didn’t care how long it took for you to get it right - he would assure you did. “Sing to me. Sing as if I’m in there with you and be my good girl, okay?” Jungkook advised with a sigh. “I need to hear the sensuous tone in your voice.”

“Yes.” you murmur.

Once more, Jungkook starts the music. You close your eyes this time. Jungkook’s eyes made you nervous - they were piercing right through you. 

You began to sing, your mind traveling to the night in Jungkook’s bedroom - a night you never brought up to anyone, not even him. It was a night you wish to forget - the way you’ve acted towards him could be seen as disrespectful, even if he didn’t appear distraught by your action.

Your eyes snap open when you feel hands on your shoulders. The instrumental doesn’t stop, and neither do you. Jungkook is directly in front of you, hands on your shoulders. Those same piercing eyes are watching you, as if waiting for you to mess up.

You continue to sing just as Jungkook wants you to. He travels behind you, so close that there’s almost a pause in your singing - but you don’t stop. The hands on your shoulders begin to roll down until they’re cupping your waist. 

There’s a slight moan in the words you sing, and it’s exactly what Jungkook wants. He doesn’t stop there. His lips place themselves on your neck, his hands pressing you against him firmly. You continue to sing and Jungkook can see you through the mirror on the far right of the wall. Your eyes are closed and gently your body relaxes in his embrace.

The song is ending, Jungkook notes, and it’s the ending that he needs you to be the most sensual. Your skin is smooth beneath his palm. It works its way up your shirt and onto your covered breast. He grips it in the palm of his hands, the melodic moan music to his ears.

“Perfect.” Jungkook kisses the nape of your neck as you finish, your breathing heavy. He releases your breast and takes a step away from you. “You did amazing, my good girl.”

“Are you fucking him?”

You nearly choke on your water when the words hit your ears. You manage to swallow it somehow and your eyes turn to your manager. She’s leaning against the nearest wall from you, her glasses tilted down on her nose.

The room is silent, the conversation your sisters held with one another falls flat as their eyes cast between you and the manager.

“Why do you assume that?” your eldest sister says once you don’t respond, a horrified look upon your face.

“Jeon Jungkook has promoted this song countless times on all platforms.” your manager steps forward as she speaks. “He made a dance challenge to the song that now has thousands of people following suit. He speaks fondly of you and just you, Y/N. So please answer the question.”

Your group's comeback has officially begun, the song you had once struggled with has been released along with a music video. It’s only been a month since Jungkook and you recorded the song in the studio, and a week since the release of the song - but it was an instant hit. You recall watching the views go higher and higher alongside your sisters as did the following count on the social media platforms you two shared. 

Jungkook kept his promise on promoting not only the song, but you, as well. In interviews he spoke of how hardworking you were and how the song was one of his favorites, he participated in dancing to the song to promote it even further - you were becoming the star he said you would be. Now, your group became someone people wanted to follow and interview - you at the front of it all.

“They’re just friends.” your elder sister scoffs. “It’s nothing to look deeper into.”

Your eldest sister nods her head in agreement.

Your manager wasn’t convinced in the slightest. “Whatever you’re doing with Jeon Jungkook…” your manager eyes you for a moment, almost as if she didn’t believe a word your sisters said. “...Keep doing it. The song is doing amazing and we have people lining up for interviews.”

Your eldest sister is taken aback by the sudden change in tone. “You make it seem like Y/N is being friends with Jeon-ssi for fame.”

You swallow the lump in your throat. You were becoming humid with the topic being about you.

“Jeon Jungkook is a big name in the industry, hell, globally.” your manager flips her glasses onto the bride of her nose. “Having a co-sign from him is a big deal. Don’t mess it up, Y/N.”

Your manager doesn’t wait for whatever response you or your sisters would give. She strolls out of the room. You’re left with your sisters, and now they fully turn to you. 

“What was that about?” your eldest sister asks. “You’re just friends with him right?”

“Of course.” you murmur, unable to look her in the eye. “He’s helped me so much.”

You know when your sisters want to say something - anything - but hold back. It’s in their eyes. They want to question you more about Jungkook and what your manager knows, but they don’t. 

“Okay.” your eldest sister nods. 

“We should probably get some rest. We have a hectic day tomorrow with-”

You lift from your seat and bow. “I’ll be going to my room.” you murmur.

You feel their eyes upon you, but you don’t bother to wait. Tomorrow was a big day and a hectic schedule neither of you were accustomed to. You didn’t take Jungkook’s promise that seriously - but it was as though he opened doors you never knew were possible.

You were meaning to meet with Jungkook tonight. His own schedule had gotten busier within the last month, and he had invited you over tonight of all nights for a celebration of sorts. “Soon, you’ll be on top.” Jungkook told you over the phone. “And maybe you can even make your solo debut.”

You were outside his home within a half an hour, pressing in the passcode he gave you. His home is quiet as you enter and you wonder what he was wanting to do tonight. You remove your shoes at the door and step deeper into his home, removing your jacket and placing it on a chair where you saw one of his own.

You hear light music coming from down the hall - his bedroom. You venture closer to the room, noticing the door slightly ajar. You peek your head through to greet Jungkook, after all he was expecting you.

You freeze in your tracks, your eyes slowly growing wider.

Jungkook sits at the edge of his bed. It wouldn’t have surprised you if you didn’t catch him masturbating - your eyes focusing on the way his right hand engulfs his cock entirely, jacking himself with such need. You can now hear that he’s moaning through the music, being closer than you were from down the hall. His eyes are closed and his head slightly tilted to the side.

“Y/N…”

Your breathing stilled at the sound of your name. Did he know you were there, watching like some type of creep?

“Seonbaenim…?” you say from behind the cracked door, and at the sound of your meek voice, Jungkook’s eyes snap open. You’re taken aback by the look in his dark eyes, and in that moment you realize that he didn’t know you were there, but instead had moaned your name.

Your feet react before your mind does. You take a few steps back until you hit the wall, startled to be caught watching him. You begin to sprint down the hall and towards the living area, falling to the nearest seat.

You hear the music stop and footsteps sounding, coming closer to you with each passing step.

“Y/N-”

“I’m so sorry, seonbaenim!” you cry, your eyes not looking his way. You’re humiliated and even more disrespectful for walking freely through his home. 

“Y/N-”

“I should have told you I was coming before I did-

“Y/N!” Jungkook hisses, his voice echoing off the walls of his home. You’re immediately silent, heart racing. “I didn’t mean to yell at you.” he suddenly murmurs, lowering his tone to not further startle you. You feel his presence in front of you, but you’re far too humiliated to look at him. “Look at me.”

You have to remind yourself to breathe when you do. Jungkook’s lips turn to a small smile. “That’s my good girl.” he tells you. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

You don’t respond, far too consumed with your thoughts to do so.

“Hey,” Jungkook squats down to face you fully. “congratulations on the success of your song. It’s charting higher than songs from veteran groups.”

“Thank you, seon-” you stop yourself. “Jungkook.” you correct, understanding that he prefers you to call him by his name. 

“My good girl…my name always sounds sweet when you say it.” Jungkook offers a hand, waiting for you to take it. When you do hesitantly, he gets from his squatting position and lightly tugs you. “Come, I want to show you something.”

There’s an anxious feeling running through you when you’re led down the hall once more and back to Jungkook’s room. The lights are dimmer this time as you and he enter. He closes the door behind him and releases your hand. 

“I want to show you these.” Jungkook steps away from you and towards a bedside table. It’s a black folder that he opens and shows you.

Your hands take the folder, your eyes scanning over the pictures displayed inside of it.

It’s you.

It’s the same pictures Jungkook had taken a month prior, each picture becoming more vulgar as you skim through. Your hands are trembling, unsure of how you truly feel about seeing the pictures physically in the palm of your hands.

“Jungkook…”

Jungkook eyes your reaction. “Yes?”

You aren’t sure what you want to ask him. Thousands of questions run through your mind - why did he print the pictures out? Why does he want to show you? Has he shown anyone these pictures?

“Y/N.”

Your eyes snap up at him, your trembling hands coming to a halt. 

“You’ve done good.” says Jungkook. “Your concept photos came out amazing and it’s because of these.” he points to the folder in your hands. “Your group is doing amazing because of you.”

“You…think so?” you question in awe. Of course, the photos you’ve taken weren’t the same as these. The eyes you were giving the camera - or Jungkook - were those you’d see women give to men in the bedroom, not a photographer. You were nearly naked and these photos were similar to something from a porn magazine.

“Of course.” Jungkook’s hands are swift. He touches both sides of your face. “Look how beautiful you look in these. The song is charting now because of how beautiful you sounded.”

Jungkook’s compliment has your heart swelling. You close the folder and nod your head, a small smile forming onto your lips.

“My good girl.” murmurs Jungkook, his thumb tracing the curve of your lips. “You want this, right?”

Jungkook’s words have a deeper meaning - one you weren’t sure about fully. Did you want this as in the fame that was quickly sneaking up on you and your group - the stardom he promised you? Or did you want something more that had to do with him personally?

“I want to help you, Y/N. I want to make you bigger than what you are now.”

“Bigger?”

“Bigger.” Jungkook nods. “I want you to be like us. We’ve sold out tours and traveled all over the world.”

You laugh at his words. It’s kind for Jungkook to want more for you, but even you know that’s not realistic. “I don’t think we can be as big as…BTS. Or you alone.”

Jungkook hums. “With you talking down about yourself, of course not.” Jungkook says. “I promised you that you’d be a star, right?”

“Yes.”

“You believe in me, right?” Jungkook drops his left hand from your face so that he can grasp the folder. He places it on his bed before turning back to you. 

“Of course I do.”

“You trust me?” Jungkook questions. “You have to trust that I know what I’m doing.”

“I do trust you.”

Jungkook simpers. He lifts your chin, his eyes on your lips.

“How much do you trust me?”

You swallow.

 Your manager’s words come to your mind - whatever you were doing with Jungkook, to continue it. You trusted Jungkook a lot - he’s helped you so much without asking for anything in return. It was because of him that your song was charting and the sudden interest of people streaming, buying and participating in challenges.

“With everything.” you respond to Jungkook truthfully.

“Everything?” Jungkook furrows his brows. “Even with your body?”

“Keep doing it.” your manager's words replay over and over in your head. 

“You’re shying away.” Jungkook notes. Maybe he was too forward with you, but he couldn’t allow himself to care. He’s already been caught by you masturbating to just the thought of you. “I can’t help you if you don’t allow me to.”

You inhale deep, your eyes not leaving his. 

“You aren’t comfortable with me.”

“I am-”

“You aren’t.” Jungkook intercepts. “Are you comfortable giving yourself to Jaehyun?”

Your eyebrows knit together at Jungkook's words.

Jaehyun?

You shake your head.

“I saw the way you were looking at him.” Jungkook removes his hand from your chin and takes a step back. “You had heart eyes for him. While I sat there and helped you achieve success…you still haven’t given me those eyes.”

Jungkook turns away from you just as he says those words. You shake your head, reaching out for the man.

“I-I don’t want Jaehyun-ssi!” you exclaim. Your anxiety was peaking, fear running through you. You didn’t want to upset Jungkook or make him think you didn’t appreciate all the help he’s given you. “I’m sorry, seonbaenim.” your hand touches his bicep.

Jungkook turns back to you. Your eyes are low, but he can see the seriousness in them - you were apologetic. 

“I never…done anything with a man before.” you murmur, hot feeling all over. “I want to…” your heart is racing with what to say. “Keep doing it…keep doing it…” your manager’s words replay in your mind. “...I want to please you, seonbaenim. I want to be good for you, I just don’t know how.”

Jungkook is stunned for a moment, his eyes watching you intently. Then, there’s a smirk forming onto his lips.

Now, Jungkook had you where he wanted you - where you needed to be.

“You know you’re my good girl, Y/N.” Jungkook takes both of your hands in his and steps backwards towards his bed. He sits down and tugs for you to do the same - on top of him. “My good girl. Once I do this with you, you can’t do it with someone else.”

Jungkook’s hands are upon you, holding you close.

“I’m a man and I know how men are.” Jungkook murmurs, his lips close to your jawline. “They will use you until you have nothing left to give. They will take you to feed their own satisfaction and leave you.”

You release a gasp.

“I won’t do that to you, my good girl.” Jungkook’s hands dip beneath your shirt to feel your smooth skin. “You can always trust me. I’ll treat you right. I want more from you, unlike any other man.”

Jungkook wants to say especially Jaehyun - but he doesn’t want to come off as jealous. Jaehyun is his friend and understands that he holds no feelings or attraction towards you, he was just being friendly. However, he was also a man and in Jungkook’s eyes, any man can and will be competition.

Jungkook’ s lips are upon your skin, kissing your jawline. 

“Promise me, Y/N. That you’ll always be mine.”

Maybe it was selfish for Jungkook to ask from you, but he doesn’t care. He’s invested in you free of charge - he’s only asked for one thing. To have you fully for himself, all of you. He wants your love and devotion, your respect.

Your virginity. 

Jungkook wanted all of you. He wanted to be the first person who made you cum. He wanted to show you how pleasurable sex could be with the right person - him - and show you what he liked.

It’s what Jungkook deserves - he was going to make you a star. Your sisters could not compare to you and he would assure that you had it all. Soon, you’ll have brand deals and be an ambassador of whatever brand you desire - as long as you remain his.

“I promise.” you murmur, and it’s then that Jungkook doesn’t hold back. He kisses along your neck hungrily, as if he was a dog waiting to pounce at his favorite treat. 

You’re unsure what to do but allow Jungkook to take the lead. His hands roam your body, squeezing and grabbing everything he could with just two palms.

“You said you want to be good for me, right?” Jungkook says against your collarbone, his teeth grazing your skin.

You nod, your body flushed with heat.

Jungkook leans back, his dark eyes on your face. “My pretty good girl.” he murmurs, the back of his hand stroking your chin. “I want you to strip for me like you did before.”

Jungkook’s eyes upon you cause you to freeze up. The horrified look on your face has Jungkook chuckling. “Don’t be shy, Y/N. You’ll have to learn to do this without any liquid courage.”

“Yes.” you murmur with a nod.

“It’s just me.” Jungkook breaths. 

Just Jungkook.

You take a deep breath, and before you can think too much into the fact that it was Jungkook, you begin to lift your shirt over your head. You discard it aside with a bite of your lip.

“I like black on your skin.” Jungkook compliments, touching up the fabric holding your breast together perfectly. 

“Thank you.” you respond cutely, voice low and meek. You remove yourself from Jungkook’s lap to remove your pants. They fall to the floor swiftly and you kick your feet to get out of it fully. 

Jungkook licks his lip before biting it. There’s an obvious tent in his sweats just at the sight of you. He thinks about what you’d look like in countless lingerie - high stockings that highline your legs, lacy material that teases him just in the right way. His mouth salivates at the endless possibilities.

It’s just Jungkook, you tell yourself. It’s just Jungkook - the same man who’s been so kind to you. Who’s helped you with your comeback, given you advice and assisted in gaining confidence. You don’t need to be self-conscious - even you can see how excited he was - but there was more than just self-confidence. You weren’t as experienced as you (assumed?) he was.

But, with Jungkook’s words flowing through your mind mixed with your managers, you didn’t have time to dwell on it. You had to engage with him, you think.

“Seonbae…Jungkook…?”

Jungkook’s alert at the sound of his name. “Yes, baby?” he says without thinking, the amount of pet names he can call you is as endless as the amount of lingerie he wants to see you in. 

You swallow and turn away from him. “Can you help me take it off?”

Jungkook groaned and far too quickly did he stand on his feet to meet you. His hands are warm against your skin as he unclasps the bra. His hand slides down your bare spine, shuddering at how soft your skin is. Your bra falls next to your feet and slowly you turn around.

“It’s just me.” Jungkook’s words repeat in your mind. 

“My pretty girl.” Jungkook hums. “Kiss me.”

You do, your hands falling onto Jungkook’s chest as your lips touch his. 

Jungkook deepens the kiss with a moan. Having you nearly naked before him excites him like no other and he has to remember that this was your first time. He couldn’t be too rough or possessive with you (yet) like he wants to.

You yelp, eyes wide when you’re suddenly thrusted on the soft mattress. 

“You’ve never done anything with a man, right?” Jungkook’s fingers fall at your panties, touching the material between his fingertips. 

You nod.

“What have you ever thought about doing with…” Jungkook doesn’t say ‘a man’ because he doesn’t want to think of you having fantasies with someone that wasn’t him. “...me?”

Jungkook begins to pull at your panties, goosebumps running through his skin. 

You lift yourself from the bed so he can remove your panties. You’ve never thought about doing anything like this with Jungkook - not until the day in the studio. Having his hands on you, feeling his breath upon your skin - you felt ashamed of the perverted thoughts.

But now you don't need to feel ashamed. Jungkook wanted you - he wasn’t just a superior to you now. Soon he’d be the man you’d have sex with - and by your promise, the only man.

“Kissing you.” you respond, clenching your legs together.

“Done that.” Jungkook mumbles. “What did I say about being shy with me, Y/N?”

You loosen your grip on your thighs, allowing Jungkook to open your legs. He’s staring right at you, eyes never blinking. Your mind is screaming at you all at once - 2 minutes of not blinking and you want to tear yourself away from his firm grip.

“Jungkook.” 

Jungkook blinks, the moisture regaining back into his eyes. 

“Sorry.” Jungkook swallows. “I want you to sit on my face.” You cough, unsure if you heard Jungkook correctly. “What?”

“I want you to sit on my face.” Jungkook states matter-of-factly. “Your pussy’s very pretty-”

“Please stop.” you look up at the ceiling with a horrified groan. “You can’t say things like that.”

“Why not?” Jungkook lowers himself between your legs.  He sends a kiss on your inner thigh. “You’re going to be my girl, Y/N. You can’t close yourself off every time I give you a little compliment.” Jungkook kisses your thigh again, inching closer to your clit.

“I know…” you murmur. “You don’t have to be so…dirty about it.”

Jungkook chuckles. “Dirty?” he shakes his head. “Dirty is telling you I want you to ride my face until you cum a good three times before I fuck you. But I’m not saying that, aren’t I?” Jungkook sends a quick peck against your clit, assuring to hold your thighs so you don’t close them on his head - but then again, he wouldn’t be opposed to that. 

You’re too stunned to speak, and Jungkook furrows a brow. “So?”

You swallow. “I…I’m supposed to be learning how to pleasure you.”

Jungkook tilts his head. “You think you can pleasure me without shying away?”

No, but you nod your head regardless. You were going to have to see Jungkook naked regardless - better now than later.

“Hmm.” Jungkook hums. His cock was begging to be released now. He goes to take off his shirt, lifting to his feet to do the same to his sweats.

 Your eyes try not to stare, but it’s difficult not to. You were beginning to realize why Jungkook was so confident - and just why he was so loved outside of his talents. 

Jungkook gets onto the bed, his back against the tall headboard. Your eyes glance at his cock then back up at him to find that he’s already looking at you. Quickly, you widen your eyes and turn away.

“Come here, pretty girl.” Jungkook laughs. 

You do so hesitantly. You’re having a hard time not looking at it - it’s erect and basically staring at you. It doesn’t help that you find it pretty - could dicks be pretty? He was cleanly groomed, veins wrapping around the length of it and the tip reminded you of a lollipop - red and suckable.

You mentally gasp at your mind at the moment.

“I’ll let you take the lead.” Jungkook says when you’re facing him, knees firmly against his bed. “I can talk you through it.”

You nod, swallowing a lump in your throat. 

“Wrap your hands around it.”

Your palms are sweaty, but you do as Jungkook insists. 

“Tighten your grip.” Jungkook widens his legs to get comfortable. “Good girl…now just stroke it up and down.”

You appear fascinated at doing this - maybe because your ears hear Jungkook’s breathing, followed by a few low groans. Or maybe because you were actually doing this with him.

Jungkook wants to be more vulgar - he wants to tell you to spit on it for lubrication, but there was more than a 50% chance that you’d cower at his words, so he opts to just watch you with hooded eyes. 

“C-Can I…?”

Jungkook nods his head, unsure truly what you meant but he was hoping it was what he thought you did. 

And it was.

You were awkward at first, bringing the tip of his cock to your lips, but the act alone has Jungkook pre-cumming, a salty substance touching your tongue. Your tongue reaches out to lick the tip, eyes glancing up to see a reaction.

Jungkook’s eyes are closed and he doesn’t appear to be in pain.

You venture further, closing your own eyes to do anything, hoping the act would come natural to you. If you thought about his cock appearing like a lollipop, then the act would be the same then - as long as you remembered not to bite it in the end, you’d be good.

You begin to suck, continuing your stroking motion. Jungkook's head falls back against the headboard, biting his lip. He can’t look at you, he thinks, because if he does, he knows he would cum and he doesn’t want to cum yet - not in your mouth, at least. Another time, yes. 

But you’re sucking him so good that he can’t help but release a few moans of your name, a hand placing itself onto your head encouragingly. He knows now that you’re good for him - the perfect girl he needs to mold into the woman he knows you can be. He can make you a star that the world will love - and the whore behind the scenes just for him.

Jungkook forces you to go deeper until you feel the tip of his cock hit your uvula. It takes everything in you to not gag. You had to be good for him, you think. Your seonbae can be as good to you as you are to him.

“My pretty girl.” Jungkook grips the back of your head. “So good for me…allowing me to fuck your mouth.”

You don’t realize your legs are clenching until there's friction. You can feel a string of drool coming from the corners of your lips, but you can’t care - there’s no time to. Jungkook’s thrusting into your mouth with such force and need, completely taking over whatever control he allowed you to have.

Jungkook continues to grunt. He won’t be lasting long and he truly does not want to come. He allows himself to look at you now - how filthy you looked with his cock shoved in your mouth. How there’s tears in the corner of your eyes threatening to fall and drool dripping down your chin. But yet and still, you were so beautiful, innocent, the pure look still in your eyes.

A look Jungkook couldn’t wait to ruin.

Jungkook yanks himself away from you the second he feels himself about to cum, his high slowly going down. He pants, clenching his teeth together. 

“My good girl…” Jungkook trails off. “I’m going to make you cum.”

Jungkook doesn’t wait for a response. Instead, he pushes you against his mattress and forces your legs apart. 

“So wet.” Jungkook tsks, no longer holding back. His fingers meet your clit and he begins to rub.

Your hand automatically grips Jungkook's wrist, but he makes no movement to stop. Instead, he watches your wide eyes with his own, as if daring you to try to stop him.

The feeling is weird, but good. No one but your own fingers has touched you, and the foreign feeling was causing a bubbling effect in your stomach. Jungkook was experienced in this - he knew exactly what to do to get you squirming beneath him.

“So sweet.” Jungkook says after placing two fingers in his mouth. “Now I have to taste you.”

Jungkook doesn’t allow you a moment, instead dipping his head down to capture your clit in his mouth. He lays his tongue flat on it and licks, flickering his tongue between your folds hungrily. 

Jungkook’s quick, both hands grabbing your thighs just as they were about to close. He forces them back, your knees hitting the mattress.

The sounds that could be heard are nothing but filthy - Jungkook’s suckling and groans, your moans and whimpers. You yourself don’t want to look between your legs, afraid that you’d catch eyes with Jungkook and lose yourself even more. But that didn’t mean Jungkook wasn’t going to. He enjoys watching you - every reaction is raw. You’re new to this, so that means that he was going to be the one that made you feel amazing; make you cum.

The thought alone excites Jungkook to no end.

Your pretty moans were music to Jungkook ears and he’s satisfied you no longer hid them from him. His pretty girl, he thinks. Once so innocent and shy now laid on his bed, begging for more - and more he’d give you. To think that in the eyes of the public, he could never call you what you were (his, yet…) but he knew just like you knew. 

Jungkook pushes back from your clit to enter two fingers inside of you. You were tight and he’s certain you’d need to be stretched out before he could fuck you. ‘Relax, pretty girl.” he mumbles when you flinch. “It’ll feel good. Just be good for me.”

Jungkook’s fingers begin to pump. He’s slow at first, testing you, eyes on your reaction before he can truly fuck his fingers inside of you.

You bite your lips and quiver your legs. “I don’t think I can-”

“You can take it, Y/N.”

You wish you had the confidence in yourself that Jungkook held for you. You hold back your words in an attempt to just that - take it. But it was hard. You were feeling like Jungkook's fingers were stretching you out in a way you’ve never been - and you were beginning to second guess if you wanted his cock inside of you.

“My pretty girl, so tight for me.” Jungkook speaks more to himself than to you. His eyes zone in on his fingers pumping in and out of you, your juices coating his fingers. He groans - you’re clenching around him so perfectly that he cannot wait to feel you for himself.

“It’s starting to feel good, huh?” Jungkook snickers when he hears the faintest moan from your lips. “My good girl.”

Jungkook curls his fingers inside of you, pumping even deeper. Jungkook leans down to capture your lips with him on, his pumping never stopping. His tongue coats your bottom lip, forcing it open so he can dominate your own.

“Jungk-kook-”

Jungkook’s tongue licks the side of your cheek, wet and warm. It drags to your jaw to your neck and dips down between your breasts. Still pumping inside of you - understanding that you’ll be cumming soon, he captures a nipple. 

Jungkook loves the sweet noises you’re making - who knew something so shy could be so filthy when the time came. No one but him would know. His tongue flicks your nipples teasingly, the hardened bud enjoying being toyed with. 

“Please stop, Jungkook. I can’t-”

Jungkook bites (only gently) your nipple to silence you. His thumb rubs your clit encouragingly. “It’s okay, baby. You’re about to cum. Just let loose.”

This wasn’t cumming - you’ve never experienced this before. You’ve touched yourself many times and this wasn’t what it felt like. Your toes are curling and slowly your back arches. You couldn’t take it anymore - not with Jungkook’s suckling on your breast, as well.

Jungkook has to see it for himself. He lets your nipple pop from his lips and his eyes zone in on your clenching pussy, sopping wet for him. He allows a few more pumps before he removes his fingers, juices leaking out of you at a rapid pace. Your thighs are quivering, but you can feel relief wash over you now that it’s done. 

“I told you to stop.” you whimper, the familiar hot sensation running through you. “I wouldn’t have done that-”

“You never told me to stop.” Jungkook interrupts. He wraps a hand around his erect cock, wishing he could fuck into you right now. “Besides, you loved it.” he slaps it against your clit, gently rubbing it between your folds.

You swallow. “I can’t take it anymore.”

“But you can.” Jungkook continues to rub against your clit. “I don’t ask for a lot, do I?”

You clench around nothing, but you fear yourself becoming overstimulated. “No.” you respond meekly. 

“Exactly.” Jungkook pants. “Such a wet pussy my good girl has.” he says vulgarly. “Don’t you think it’s selfish of you to deny me pleasure after all I’ve done for you?”

Jungkook slaps his cock against your clit, continuing. “I’ve helped you with everything. You have shows lined up because of me, Y/N. They’re not interested in your group. They’re interested in you.”

Jungkook shakes his head. “I could be an asshole and sue and say I deserve writing credits to the song. I was in the studio, wasn’t I?” Jungkook circles his tip at your wet entrance. “But I haven’t. I’ve done everything I could to assure you’ve achieved greatness and it’s as if giving me the one thing I ask for is too much.”

“Seonbaenim…” your voice trails off, heart beating rapidly at his words. 

“You don’t respect me as your superior, Y/N.” Jungkook sighs. “If I didn’t care for you, I would’ve taken you a long time ago. I wouldn't have given you any form of pleasure because I would only be thinking of my own.”

You’re taken aback by his words, but Jungkook doesn’t stop.

“No other man in this industry is going to love or respect you the way that I do. They’ll use you until you have nothing left to give. Then, you’ll just be damaged goods.” 

You’re so beautiful, Jungkook thinks, even when his cruel words show on your face. But he was an honest man, after all. Who’d want you once you weren’t a young, naive virgin willing to please? No one but him - which is why he needed to be the one to have you all to himself. 

It was only right, Jungkook thinks. 

“You don’t want that, right, pretty girl?” Jungkook offers a kind smile, his words not matching it. “You already promised you’ll be mine and mine alone. Right?”

Slowly, you nod your head.

“Say it, Y/N. Say you’ll only be mine.”

Jungkook needed a confirmation - more for himself. He didn’t want you to come back and regret anything because you gave him full consent.

“I’ll only be yours.”

Jungkook hums with satisfaction. “That’s right, baby. Only mine. Turn around.” Jungkook instructs, helping you do so. He arches your back, hand against your back so your chest is against the mattress. 

“Seonbae?” you quip feeling Jungkook’s cock against your hole, reading to pounce any given moment. “I-I don’t have any protection.”

Jungkook furrows a brow. “Okay?”

“Do you?” you swallow, throat feeling dry.

“For you, no.” Jungkook laughs, a genuine laugh as if he couldn’t believe your words. “We’ve already gone through this, Y/N. You’re my girl.”

“But-”

“Why do I need to use protection if you’re my girl? What is the protection for?” Jungkook was growing impatient.

You bite your lip. You and he were a part of the same industry - both idols with jobs you had to do. “I can’t get pregnant, seonbae.” you whisper, embarrassed that it’s something you had to say. 

Jungkook scoffs. “Getting pregnant by me is an honor, Y/N.” he says, his tone a bit snappy. You didn’t mean to offend him. “Maybe if I get you pregnant then you’ll know just who you belong to.” he says the last part more harshly, hand gripping your waist with such force. “Don’t worry, pretty girl. I know what to do. You won’t get pregnant.” Yet - he promised you stardom and he never went back on his promises. 

Your fingers clench the bed sheets when you feel Jungkook enter you. The feeling is far more intense - more than his fingers. It’s not as if Jungkook made it any easier. He had no intentions of going easy on you now - not after you’ve attempted to deny him access to you. A condom was a slap in the face - after all the work he’s put in to assure he fulfilled his promise to you.

“Jung…kook…” your eyes are clenched shut, body jerking away from him.

“Stop running away.” Jungkook snarls, jerking you back against him. You’re so tight, clenching around him heavenly. “You’ll feel good soon, pretty girl. I promise.”

Soon came, but not fast enough. You were being stretched out so savagely that you contemplated if it would be like this everytime you and he had sex. You’re positive that your hips would have bruises on them with how tight Jungkook grips them, keeping you in place.

Jungkook pants, his eyes watching the way your ass bounces against him in astonishment. For a virgin, you had a slutty body that only he’d be able to have.

“It feels good now, doesn’t it?” Jungkook snickers. “I can feel you clenching around me even tighter. I told you it would.”

Jungkook’s slamming into your sweet spot, pressing against it with each passing thrust. He can’t wait to fuck you the entire night until he couldn’t anymore. He wants you in every position possible, not caring if you had to be up the following morning early - because right now, you were his and his alone. 

Jungkook hovers above you, both of his hands atop yours. He intertwined his fingers with yours, his lips against your ears. “My pretty good girl. Aren’t you happy I chose you?” his teeth nibble your ear playfully. “Out of all the women I can have. I chose you. Tell me you’re happy.”

“I’m…I’m happy.” you moan, eyes fluttering with how deep he is in this position. 

You were happy.

You’ve accepted that this was your fate now - you were going to please Jungkook and in return, you’d have what you wanted. A career and someone you respected by your side as much as he was willing to be. 

“So good for me.” Jungkook murmurs. “Kiss me.”

You strain your neck, but you do as Jungkook says. Your moans die down against his lips, but he has all night to hear your moans.

And Jungkook does. He fucks into you each and every time, not caring about the exhausted look in your face. He flips you onto your back, your knees against your shoulders and cums deep inside of you. He allows you on top, but only he has control, your cunt filled to the brim with even more cum, but he isn’t finished until you’re begging him for a break - but how could he want to stop? He’s waited so long for you that he has a few more rounds in before he’s satisfied.

“Pretty girl.” Jungkook simpers at your condition - nearly unconscious and full of his cum. “Here.”

Jungkook wasn’t an asshole. As much as he enjoys cumming inside of you, he had a promise to fulfill before he can allow you to carry his child. “Can’t have you getting pregnant at the height of your career, can’t we?”

Jungkook hands you a water bottle and a small pill. Your words are inaudible, but he has a clue of what the question is. 

“Contraceptive.” Jungkook assists in having you take it. “I’ll get you some birth control pills tomorrow.”

You swallow the pill and nod, falling against the mattress. You were far too exhausted to speak, only wanting to sleep.

Jungkook brings you closer to him, your head against his chest while his hands rub along your back softly. Gently, he presses a kiss to your head. “Aren’t you happy you have me as happy as I am to have you, Y/N? he murmurs, knowing that you’ve already fallen to slumber. “No other man is going to treat you as good as I am.”

Jungkook closes his eyes, satisfied with the good deed he has done not only for him, but for you, as well.

[inuyashaluver]

hey idk if u still take requests but i got an idea (if u don't just delete the ask, I understand xd). Leah and R recently got married but R kept on playing with her lastname on the jersey still. But on one international break R (plays for a different nation, like idk Germany or Spain) and decided to put Williamson on her back as a surprise for Leah who is watching with her family/or team. Leah at first is confused about it and thinks its a mistake in the line up but then the camera zooms in on R with Williamson printed on the back, so she of course gets super emotional about it + maybe even getting a little teased for it ;) ps. love your writing (especially the leah fics) a lot so keep up the great work <3 (kiss cam was mad cute btw)

surprise - leah williamson

leah williamson x reader

description: in which your wife sees your shared last name on your jersey for the first time

warnings: swearing

a/n: oh my goodness! thank you so much for the request and the love for my fics, i really appreciate it!! hope you enjoy xxx

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

you and your wife, leah had been married for a little over a year after being partners for 6 years prior. it wasn’t a secret that you took on the williamson last name, however, on all your jerseys, it remained (y/l/n), taking so long because you don’t have the time to change it as quick as you would like.

you were working on changing it without leah’s knowledge, but it didn’t really faze her, she was confident in your relationship and you didn’t need to be labelled by her last name to be her wife. in her head, you’ve been her wife the first day she asked you to be her girlfriend.

you both played together at arsenal, where the both of you met and blossomed in love. however, you both play for different national teams, you for spain and her for england. this didn’t affect your relationship in a bad way, instead, it was good for it. you loved to tease each other about which team was better, who would win against each other and more. both of you were professionals, leaving everything on the pitch and not bringing into your personal lives.

it just worked, the two of you couldn’t explain it but it did. you and leah had a lot of love and respect for each other, both of you supporting each other’s national careers and arsenal careers.

—

it was national break, leah had already played in her group, the lionesses winning their group stage for the qualifiers. you had gone to each of leah’s games, her doing the same for you - wearing each other’s jerseys with bright grins and putting pride to the side, wanting to support your significant other.

as soon as leah had completed her group stages, you had your final match for your own group, deciding to bring keira and georgia along with her. your family were there, with leah, sitting in the family and friends section talking and laughing with each other before the game starts. before the teams come out, the announcer shares the starting line ups. leah was watching the screen excitedly, ready to see her pretty girl, each player gets an individual video of themselves with their names on the screen.

“number eight, (y/n) williamson!” her claps and cheers slow when she sees ‘williamson’ on the big screen, supported by your face in your jersey. her eyebrows quirk in confusion, she turns to your family and asks if they know anything about the ‘mistake’ but they offer her fake confusion, claiming they knew nothing of it. leah furrows her brows and looks at keira and georgia, who also shrug with a smirk. she sits forward on her chair, elbows resting on her thighs, her stern football face on full display waiting for you to come out.

she focuses her attention on the tunnel, waiting to see the back of your jersey, that’s when she sees it, ‘8 - williamson’ she immediately covers her mouth with her hands, letting out multiple tears when she sees you. she looks over to your family but they were already smiling at her brightly, recording her reaction for you to watch later.

she lets out a wet laugh, she can’t take her eyes off you, smiling with so much adoration. she knew you had her last name, she’s seen you wear her jersey, but she wanted to collapse at the thought of her girl finally having her last name officially on your jersey rather than hers, not realising how much this meant for her.

keira and georgia jump up and down, clapping leah on the shoulder and hyping her up. she’s still in disbelief, standing up with her hands on her head, looking at you with a big smile. she could tell that you were searching for her in the section, you spot the group of your family, your wife and some of your best friends. while waiting in line for the national anthems to play, you quickly wave at them, blowing a kiss in their direction. leah lets out a quick giggle, slightly pink in the cheeks.

“captain leah is a bit of a simp huh, g?” keira smirks, pretending to talk to georgia but directing it right at leah.

“who would have thought we would see leah weak at the knees because of her own last name, kei?” georgia mocks with a matching smirk

“both of you shut up” she sends them the captain’s glare but they just can’t stop, choosing to tease their friend for the duration of the match.

—

every time you got the ball, leah leaned forward in her seat, analysing your every move and whispering under her breath, “come on, baby”. she nods her head when you pass, smiling when you do something well. leah could see from the corner of her eyes her two best friends recording her and taking photos of her, knowing they would share them with you to make fun of her but she just didn’t care, she focused her entire attention on you and you only.

the whistle signals the end of the first half, spain was in the lead by 3 goals to 1, one of them an assist from you. leah watches as you walk towards the tunnel with your water bottle, you make eye contact with her, smiling excitedly at her. she returns the gesture, blowing you a quick kiss, grinning as you return the favour before returning to the change room.

her grin disappears when she looks over at her friends, them making kissy faces at her. she shakes her head, turning to chat with your family instead, the girls still teasing her behind her back. when you come back out of the tunnel with your team for the second half, her breath hitched seeing you in your jersey again, you looked absolutely breathtaking to her. about 5 minutes into the second half, you decide to take a risk, wanting to impress your fans as well as your wife.

you get the ball from aitana, running from the midfield and taking the shot. leah knows you can shoot from a distance like this, practising with you back at home, this doesn’t mean she’s not absolutely freaking out, her hands covering her mouth again watching you. the ball curves from your foot, landing in the top right of the box, the keeper just missing it. you scream in celebration, running towards aitana and celebrating while the rest of your team jump on top of you.

leah, your family and her two best friends were jumping up and down screaming. leah having the biggest smile on her face, only growing wider seeing your bright smile with ‘williamson’ on your back.

you quickly run towards the friends and family section again, blowing a big kiss towards leah and everyone else. in the corner of your eye, you spot the camera man filming you, you gesture them to come closer to you, spinning around and showing your back, then holding up the number one while smiling brightly. leah slightly tears up from your goal but her tears fall again at your celebration on the big screen, that was her wife, she literally couldn’t believe it.

the game concludes 4-1 win for spain. your team does a victory lap and you move around taking pictures and giving signatures when you feel familiar, strong arms around your waist, lifting you off the ground and spinning you around. you laugh gleefully when you’re placed back down. turing around quickly and jumping on leah, she quickly catches you by your thighs, holding you tightly against her body.

she looks up at you with a bright grin,

“mrs williamson, you evil woman!” she mocks,

“what do you mean, mrs williamson?” you joke with a smirk,

“you look beautiful with our name on your back, baby, couldn’t take my eyes off you” you smile sheepishly as her, cupping her face and pressing a gentle kiss on her lips, she whines when you pull away to speak to her.

“so you liked my surprise, mi amor (my love)?” you tilt your head to the side, already knowing the answer based on how tightly she’s holding you and how pink her cheeks are.

“i-” she starts, interrupted busy her two best friends, forming a circle around you, linking their hands and rotating around the two of you.

“oh definitely more than like, (y/n/n), she’s a proper fan!” georgia says with a laugh

“oh yeah, the girl was fangirling so hard like she didn’t marry you” keira adds, laughing hard with georgia.

leah looks up at you sternly, placing you on the ground, giving you a tight lipped smile and a quick kiss on your lips. “excuse me for a minute, baby?” you hesitantly nod at her. the two girls already know their fate, running away as quick as they could with leah hot on their trail. you shake your head at them, going to spend some time with your family before they left.

you took leah into the change room with you after saying goodbye to everyone, leah was taking you home after this. when you get inside, you peel off the shirt and throw it next to you, leah rushing forward and picking it up and dusting it off.

“what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” she exclaims and holds the jersey to her chest offendedly,

“what-” you look at her confused,

“do you understand how special this is!” she starts, scoffing at your confused face, “you think i’m going to let my wife’s first williamson jersey get dirty when i’m going to frame it and hang it up in the house?” you laugh loudly at her, stopping when she gives you a glare, realising she wasn’t joking.

“mi amor (my love), it’s already dirty! i’ve been sweating in it for 90 minutes, i can get you a new one-” she shakes her head at you, “don’t try me, williamson” neatly folding up the jersey and holding it close to her. you smile at her, grabbing her around the neck and pulling her down into a hug, she quickly reciprocates, running her hands up and down your now exposed waist.

she lets you go quickly shower, coming out dressed completely head to toe in her clothes, you were killing her. has she seen you in her clothes all the time?, yes. did she marry you? yes. she still had the same reaction as she first did, both of you so completely in love with each other, it was sickening.

leah kept her word and framed your jersey, you convincing her to do the same with hers and hanging them side by side in your living room. now everyone knows the superstar couple, the williamsons were inseparable.

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

just pretend it’s youuu - ily wally!

liked by stanwaygeorgia and 44,232 others

leahwilliamsonn: back from national camp with my baby, the williamsons are back in action!

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yourname: williamson supremacy, baby!

↳ leahwilliamsonn: fuck yeah

stanwaygeorgia: simp

↳ keirawalsh: simp

↳ leahwilliamsonn: uh, duh, have you seen her?

↳ yourname: stop it, i’m blushing

↳ leahwilliamsonn: oh yeah?

↳ keirawalsh: MY EYES

[angelickisscs]

first chances ~ blurb ‧₊˚

୨ ୧ ˚₊ pairing ~ jude bellingham x reader

summary: Jude having a conversation with his friends leads you to make a heart-breaking revelation

TEARS FOUGHT FOR first place in destroying your carefully completed eye makeup. You couldn’t help but feel there was a bet going on inside of you as to what would get you to break first, the competition lying between anger or sadness.

“I really just don’t understand.” Jude’s words were hesitant to form a sentence. They treated you as though you were a delicate piece of pottery. One that he had just thrown onto the ground.

Folding your lips into one another, you were careful with your next move. The last thing you wanted to do right then was embarrass yourself any more than you already had.

“You are playing the innocence card, perfect.” You mumbled the words under your breath forcing him to lean in so he could catch the last of their appearance.

“I didn’t know I had any other cards to play.” He was quick in his response, leaving no time for the tension to settle in. “But if you told me what I have done to make you upset, maybe I would be able to choose between them more wisely.”

With a scoff, you averted your gaze from him to somewhere far simpler. The confusion that was repelling from his body getting to be too much.

Your hands were dancing with another arrhythmically in a desperate attempt to stop your furious emotions from taking control over you. They were a distraction gifted to you on a silver platter. But they only lasted so long before his thinking was over.

“Come on, tell me. Then I can make it right.”

The harsh wind blew in from your side, shouting down upon your unprepared shoulders as the light fog of summers frozen breath descended from the sky.

You took a final deep breath before you allowed the words to slip over from your now chapped lips. “I heard you and your friends talking, wasn’t trying to eavesdrop but the conversation managed to get interesting.”

Tension began its reign. The look of shock mixing with horror like it was the easiest made cocktail formed on his face. Words attempted at an explanation but all failed, freezing up just as they made their way onto the stage.

There was nothing you could do but stand and watch, your stomach yet to pick itself off the dirtied floor.

Jude tried multiple different routes of explanation, but none made the cut against his harsh criticism. “I didn’t think it would ever go this far.”

What he had opted for did little to console you. It built a new wave of embarrassment to wash you away with though this time acceptance had managed to talk its way into being able to take its place.

“What because you are a more decent guy than that?” Laughter bubbled over from your overwhelmed body. “The fact is that you were willing to do this to someone you had never met. For what? A slap on the back from your mates?”

His head began to vigorously shake, denying all your accusations with haste. He knew they were true; he knew you knew they were true, but he was desperate.

“It was just to go on a date and-.” The explanation he was trying to get across to you didn’t make it long.

“I don’t care.” You began as you finally looked back in his direction. “What was this going to cause except from hurt? Even if it was the slightest bit.”

He closed his eyes, bringing up his hands so he could capture his hair in them. There was nothing more that you had ever desired than to walk up to him and tell him an apology was all you needed because you knew he would give you that. But somewhere in you refused to accept that, fighting onwards.

“Tell me what I can do to make it up to you and I will do ten times that.” Jude pleaded whilst he allowed you to see his tear-stained face. You took it in, staring with a harshness that you never thought you could give.

“Give me a second chance so I can make sure you don’t regret giving me the first.”

Your body was beginning to give in, your knees aching at the possibility of taking a mere two steps so you could be in his arms once again.

That part of you however still managed to hold out. “I do regret it though. You didn’t even want it in the first place, I was nothing but a bet to you!”

Jude took a step forward, but you were quick in taking one back, forming a boundary that he had to listen to.

“Don’t reduce yourself to that. You were always so much more to me than-.” He paused at the end. As though he was in denial to say what he had done.

“A bet. You may as well say it, you did it.” Your snappiness was beginning to form a bite on it. One that had him flinching.

The exit you had formed for yourself since the start was beginning to come in handy, small, calculated steps beginning to form a distance between the two of you. A similar one to which you had thought you would never have to set in place.

“I’m not an idiot and I have self-respect. It’s no one’s fault but your own that you are in this situation, so you need to accept that.” Desperation reached down the back of your throat, clawing its way down with no remorse.

“Let me fix this.” He tried once again but noticed that lack of dents he was forming in the wall you had built.

“Goodbye Jude.”

The gap was like one formed between two separate continents and neither of you were strong swimmers. So, he watched in slow motion as your figure retreated, the calls of his friends echoing beside him. Not even a hand firmly shaking his shoulder could break his eyes from you.

Although you no longer stood there, your location now being something he didn’t have the right to know.

[pantherxrogers]

hi I love your work can you please do a sugar daddy/boyfriend Mingi and what he will do for reader

blurb: sugar daddy!mingi x reader  ✧

🎀 pairing: mingi x fem!reader

🎀 warnings: suggestive, explicit language, mention of daddy kink

🎀 summary: spoiled!reader wants to bring all of her friends to coachella. mingi can't say no 🤭

🎀 a/n: tysm for your request! this was super fun (and challenging) for me to write as a san bias, lmao. i hope you love it! divider by @fairytopea

my masterlist (you can find the yunho and san versions here!)

This is a work of fiction and is not meant to represent real events or the actual personalities of any K-pop idols mentioned. All characters and situations are purely imaginary. This story is created for entertainment purposes only, and no harm or disrespect is intended toward the idols or their fans. Enjoy!

“I reaaaaally miss you, Mingki,” you coo into the phone, knowing you’ve got him wrapped around your finger. That nickname always gets to him.

Fighting back giggles, you motion a quiet down to your friends, so your boyfriend can’t hear them on the other end. 

“I miss you too, baby,” he groans, knowing you’re about to get exactly what you want. But, if you ask him, he really can’t help it. Who is he to deny you?

“It’ll be so nice to see you, baby. Plus the girls really want to go to Coachella, too,” you whine, putting extra pout behind your words, playing it up for him. 

“Baby, I only asked for one press pass. I don’t know if I can get extras for your friends,” he added, hoping you’d drop it, but knowing he won’t be that lucky. 

Hidden away on the side of the practice stage, Mingi battles with himself on what he’s going to do next. The desert heat beats down on his neck, sweat accumulating in the oversized tee shirt and sweats he decided to wear for soundcheck. 

He very well could get more passes for your friends, but he already flew all of you out to Bora Bora because you wanted a girls weekend. If you’d come to California with him, he knew you’d be sitting around in the hotel room for most of the day. So, he paid for the trip without any complaints (like he always does). 

“You won’t do it for me?” You whine, putting on the dramatics.

Your friends are in near hysterics, laughing at your antics. They all know how much Mingi spoils you, and they actually find it kind of sweet. You see, Mingi is the type of boyfriend who spoils you beyond reason, but he likes to pretend he isn’t a total and complete pushover (he definitely is).

“Fuck, I’ve created a monster,” Mingi chuckles, already having made up his mind. You giggle softly, twirling your hair around the end of your finger, happy that you’ve won another battle. 

On the other end, Mingi glances up to see his captain motioning him back over, signaling the end of their short break. He holds up a hand, mouthing out I'm almost done. 

Your playful giggles steal his attention back, momentarily forgetting about the lengthy practice.

A warm blush heats Mingi’s cheeks, while he listens to your kisses through the phone.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, baby!” You squeal, dancing around with a bright smile. You motion a thumbs up to your friends, all of you cheering in victory.��

“I’ll send the jet to Bora Bora tomorrow morning, so you guys can get in early,” he announces, fighting to keep the smile off his face. He can still hear your excited giggles through the phone.

“Baby, are you listening?” He playfully chides, knowing how you get tunnel vision whenever he gives you what you want.

“Private jet, Coachella, blah blah blah,” you joke, Mingi answering you with a laugh. 

You step away from your friends for a moment, heading into the villa’s primary bedroom. 

“I really am grateful, baby. I can't wait to see you,” you confess, heart racing at the thought of seeing your boyfriend tomorrow. You fiddle with the Cartier love ring on your index finger, smiling at the memory of when he gifted it to you.

“Maybe I should just fly you out tonight,” he sighs, equally impatient to see you. 

“Mmmm, I would say yes buuuuuut,” Mingi huffs, "We have one more shopping day planned,” you mutter, remembering the Goyard bag you had your eye on yesterday. 

“Babe, you’ve been shopping the whole trip,” he argues, remembering the multiple notifications he got from his credit card company.

“I know, but I saw this bag yesterday and couldn’t make up my mind about it. I really want it now,” you whine, going into more detail as Mingi listens to your rambling with a smile. 

“Do you trust me, baby?” He questions, the wheels already turning in his head. 

“Of course,” you answer honestly, confused at the sudden change of subject. 

“Then, be ready for the driver to pick you up in two hours. I want you to myself for a night before your friends get here,” he asserts, the low rumble in his voice causing a warmth to spread over your body. 

You bite your lip before answering him, torn between the bag and the need to see your boyfriend as soon as possible. The both of you know which one you’ll pick in the end.

“Okay,” you sigh, “I’ll see you tonight,” a wide smile spreading across your face at the thought. 

“Good girl,” he coos, making you squirm against the plush mattress beneath you. 

“I love you, daddy,” you whisper, warmth flooding your cheeks at the title. Mingi chuckles to himself, fascinated by your sudden shyness.

“I love you too, baby girl. See you soon,” his voice is like gravel now, while he tries his best to not get carried away in public like this. 

He ends the phone call with a click, before sending a quick text to his manager. 

📱: Need a favor. Gonna need the private jet tonight and tomorrow. Also contact the Bora Bora sales associate for me. I need him to overnight a Goyard bag.

[thecoochiefairy]

𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖈𝖔𝖔𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖊𝖋𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖞

━━ 𝑏𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑝ℎ𝑒𝑚𝑦 .ᐟ getou + gojo.

warnings 𑄽𑄺 9.7K word count. sex in a church, priests getou + gojo, talks of religion; catholic/christianity. third person omniscient pov, black woman, vaginal penetration, rough sex, sweet sex, hair pulling, squirting,creaming, oral [f] [m], choking, masturbation, praising, LOTS of dirty talk, a lil degrading, condomless sex, kissing, spanking, aggressive + cocky getou + gojo, minors aren’t welcome!

song to play while listening; 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘 ; 𝑑𝑜𝑗𝑎 𝑐𝑎𝑡

━━ 𝒄𝙤𝒐𝙘𝒉𝙞𝒆𝙛𝒂𝙞𝒓𝙮 𝙩𝒉𝙤𝒖𝙜𝒉𝙩𝒔 .ᐟ ; surprise ;) once again, dedicated to my life, my love, my soulmate @hellavile . a lil’ fun fact, i am a christian girlie. but…i just couldn’t help myself. enjoy.

SITTING THROUGH THIS ENTIRE SERVICE WASN’T ON HER TO-DO LIST. YET, SHE FELT STUCK IN HER SEAT. Her eyes trail along the crowded room, seeing heads are bowed as they intimately whisper to themselves, guiding their own sense of mind in devotion to them. Not necessarily them, but at least that’s how she perceived it.

She feels like she’s the only person that isn’t taking this time to pray. Shit, she might be. Instead her eyes stare directly to the stage of the cathedral, eyeing the two men who seem to lead this congregation. She had been here only a handful of times, seating herself in the back as she curiously listened to sermons, wondering if they’d even stick with her. They hadn’t. She wanted to understand why such powerful words wouldn’t berate her mind outside of this building. Maybe she truly wasn’t a believer. Or maybe she was just distracted…by them.

She eyes them one by one. The one standing to the left stares stoically into the crowd with his darkly hooded eyes, pale skin and onyx hair longer than she could imagine. It was elegantly tied into a low bun today, a tendril of it separating from the group with his every movement. He’s covered in an all black suit, her eyes noticing the ink that swims beneath the wrists of his blazer, crawling all the way to his neck, hiding beneath the material of his clothes. A pair of tiny silver balls sink into his right eyebrow, a piercing she wouldn’t assume to be on a man of his stature. His eyebrows are constantly furrowed when he looks around, an almost disdain to his face.

They were like night and day standing next to each other. On the right, his calm expression seems more welcoming. His eyebrows don’t furrow as he stares, icy blue eyes striking into her chest without his attempt. His hair is as light as angels wings. His body is clean of any marking or holes, frame captured in a matching black suit. They were complete opposites. Another thing she noticed, despite the innocent physical stature of this man, a mischievous glint sat in those captivating eyes. More mischievous than a tattooed and pierced-man could ever hold.

It constantly piqued her own curiosity on why anytime she came here that instead of listening to them speak, she just watched the way they moved. It was a confidence, a leadership that clearly brought people together. A dominance. She wondered if they were dominant in other parts of their life, too. As she brings herself out of her thoughts, she notices two pairs of eyes have taken attention of her, regardless of being all the way in the back. She brings her eyes back down to her notes.

Members begin to exit as they’re released from service, her eyes following the line of people that stand.

“All new members are welcomed to meet the Priest,” a voice announces from the side of the stage. Her attention pulls back to the podium they stand beside, shaking people’s hands, kissing babies, she could’ve rolled her eyes. They were like celebrities.

There were multiple opportunities for her to meet the leaders of the church, but to risk the embarrassment of admitting that she was instantly enthralled by them, she would quickly duck her head out minutes before everyone was released. But she knew in order to strengthen her relationship with god—the whole reason she was here—she needed to stop being a wuss.

Gathering the miniature Bible and her notebook, she keeps them in one hand as she picks her dress slightly off of the ground, standing as the last person in line. The line had now shortened as everyone was beginning to leave, her head turning back in hopes that she really wouldn’t be the last person. Her luck was also shit.

She takes a deep breath as she lifts her stiletto heel onto the stage, bringing her face to meet the two men she thought so much of. They were just as intimidating up close. They both stare intensely at her, starting from her heels, to the black long sleeve top she wears that clings to her full breast and small waist. A pair of wide hips and an elongated torso are camouflaged underneath her snug black skirt.

As she strides up to them, her equally onyx hair is in an updo, a pink butterfly keeping it clipped together. A thick piece is curled and flowing on the side of her face with every step she takes. They both take in her curvy figure, following all the way up to her heart shaped lips, star shaped diamond pierced within her face, nose ring shining in the light. She definitely wasn’t anyone they’d seen before.

Her almond shaped eyes sparkle at them as she places her hand out, “That was a great sermon, Father,” She lies.

A tattooed hand reaches out and takes hers within his larger palm as he replies, “I appreciate that. And your name is?”

“Solana,” she replies softly. Her eyes come down as she sees he hadn’t released her hand yet.

“Beautiful. It fits you,” he observes, she’s not sure it’s a compliment as he remains serious, “Are you a new member? You don’t look like a familiar face.”

“Uh…not necessarily a member as of yet. I’m just…scouting for a new church,” She corrects, still seeing he’s holding her hand, “I’m a bit surprised to see that the Priests are so…young. I didn’t catch your names.”

He finally releases her hand, blue eyes twinkling beside him in amusement as he then joins the conversation, “Suguru’s two years older than me. Meaning he’s old. I’m young, I’m Satoru,” he takes her hand, his grip more softer than Suguru’s.

“Father Satoru?” She raises an eyebrow.

“Not yet, I’m mentoring him. For now he’s a Deacon, but most of the people in the church refer to him as Father Satoru,” Suguru replies, ignoring Satoru’s age comment.

“Oh, so you’re the one that runs this place?” She questions.

“With an iron fist,” Satoru interrupts. Suguru looks over at him with a slightly annoyed scrunch to his face.

“My father was in charge before me. It was passed down sooner than I thought due to him becoming sick,” Suguru explains, “What did you like about the sermon?”

“Tell him what’s in your notes,” Satoru points out. Solana looks over to him, hating that she was intuitive about the mischief in those damn eyes. She chuckles.

“It wasn’t much. Nothing to really tell,” she explains, keeping her attention to Suguru.

“Tell me then. I’m curious,” he prods.

Shit. Honestly, she was just being polite. She didn’t want her first introduction to be playing Devil’s Advocate.

She then speaks, “Well…your topic today was the temptation of lust. A constant debate of whether it’s someone’s true test of keeping their vows to god—I’d say people are just human with helpless desires,” She recites, “You see, I’m trying to build a personal relationship with him. Coming to church was a mere curiosity. I had a feeling that some things being said I wouldn’t necessarily agree with, hence me taking notes.”

Suguru’s eyebrows raise in mild surprise, “So I’m assuming you’re not entirely a believer, then?”

“Trying to be, Father,” she corrects briefly, “It’s just hard. Some things seem entirely unrealistic…I don’t mean to be nosey, but looking at all the work you have on your body that seems to travel beneath your clothes, there was a time you weren’t entirely a believer either, was there?”

Satoru grins, Suguru now raising a single eyebrow. It didn’t shock him for her astuteness.

“Sorry…” she mutters, a small smile on her lips, “I come from a time where church was extremely small-minded and traditional. To see you and all of your physical differences from a regular Priest, it’s just a bit shocking. May I ask, how do the older members perceive you?”

She then wants to face palm herself as she hears her own words. Solana curses, “Shit. I didn’t mean it like that. I mean—crap—I mean— I was just referring to your tattoos and piercings,” she mutters.

“You seem more fascinated by my appearance rather than the sermon itself, Solana,” he calls her full name, wanting her attention.

“‘Fascinated’ wouldn’t be the word, perhaps, bewitched? Beguiled?” Satoru taunts.

“None of the above. But I’d say you’re a bit presumptuous, Father Satoru?” She mockingly replies.

“Would you rather I use the word curious, then?” Suguru asks.

“I could just be a curious person in general. Maybe I’m just bored, don’t assume too much about me,” Solana shrugs, “Plus, isn’t curiosity a sin within the Bible?”

His dark eyes pierce into hers. “Hm. That’s true, I shouldn’t assume. But curiosity is a virtue, not a sin. Though I imagine members in my congregation might disagree. I’ll have to bring that up in the next service.”

She tilts her head, “Seems like I might miss that service, then. I don’t recall agreeing to come back…” she thinks to herself.

“Cute,” Satoru eyes her up and down, “You’ll be back.”

“‘Shed light on the proud, haughty, and insolent behaviors that underlie arrogance,’” She recited, “Proverbs. Curiosity may be a virtue, but narcissism isn’t,” She speaks, referring to his assumptions of being captivated by him. Sure, damned her if she was. But he didn’t need to know that.

“The non-believer has read almost every inch of the Bible, it seems,” Suguru leans against the podium, his face twitching.

“…But then again, perhaps you’re merely trying to impress us. A girl as beautiful as you knows how to get your way,” Satoru adds.

“Is it working?” She then asks.

“Nah,” Suguru responds.

Solana raises her eyebrows, “‘Nah?’ Is the Priest off of the clock?”

“Talking to you? Might be, you’re trouble,” Satoru replies.

“Says the unorthodox Priest and his vexing Deacon.”

Satoru puts his hand over his chest, “Offensive.”

“You and Satoru gonna’ keep flirting or are you gonna hand me that notebook of yours?” Suguru asks, Solana bringing her eyes back to him.

“Mmm, I won’t. I have to get going soon and prepare for work.”

“Where do you work?” Satoru asks.

“I work from home. I’m a Cam Girl,” She calmly responds. When the both of them have frowns come upon their face, she looks between the two as she continues, “You know, the ones that take their clothes off and—“

“Alright.”

“I’m aware of what it is.”

They both say this at the same time, Solana amused at their dismissiveness. She’s surprised at how open the conversation is, even with their hierarchy, they make her feel as comfortable as possible. They felt like two male friends in the span of one conversation. The thing was, she didn’t want them as just friends.

“Clock in, do what you gotta do. But you’ll be here again next service with a new set of notes for me, I expect you to pay attention to my sermon. I’m a bit impatient. Cool?” Suguru asks.

“But—“

“Good,” Satoru cuts her off, “Welcome, member.”

“I never agreed—“

“Who asked?” Suguru questions. Satoru shrugs his shoulders.

Solana looks between the two men, silver crosses around their necks, a facade they played all too well in front of everyone else. This was the first time in her life that she didn’t have a man wrapped around all of her fingers, instead she was wrapped in each of theirs.

“Fine,” She doesn’t argue, pressing her hands behind her back. She can feel her face becoming warm.

“Huh,” Satoru crosses his arms, light hair swaying as he tilts his head to look at her.

“What?” She asks.

“To be this… ‘Cam Girl’ you mentioned, I’m assuming you’re usually the one in control. But now you seem…so submissive,” Suguru observes. The intensity in his eyes was something she didn’t see in Satoru’s. This man was much harder to read.

“We make her nervous,” Satoru states, not questions.

Her mouth goes slightly agape as they ricochet off of each other. She has no time to reply or find a smart-ass comeback. She can’t help but become a little irritated with this newfound characteristic of herself—intimidation. She puts on a fake smile as she nods her head towards the both of them, turning as she makes her way down the aisle towards the exit.

“We’ll be waiting for those notes, Solana,” Satoru calls.

“He’ll be waiting. I expect them in my hand,” Suguru finalizes, she doesn’t notice his eyes falling down to her ass.

She hoped that these two would be the complete opposite of what she imagined them to be before their meeting. Angelic, innocent, pure. But as she spoke with them, watching as they observed her every move, and told her what she was going to do, she seemed to be wrong. Devilish, guilty, impure. To make matters worse, she was going to do exactly what was asked of her. Motherfuckers.

ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊ࠢ࠘𐡏~♡

A couple of weeks had gone by. It was the same routine, sitting in the back of the service as she listened to Suguru preach, taking her own interpretations of his words. She noticed the brief looks he’d give over to her. Satoru winked. As service ended she would politely speak to the both of them as she handed Suguru her notes, unable to fully make eye-contact. Here was the issue. The first time she saw them, all she could think was how badly she wanted them to fuck her. She thought it was a mere attraction. But as every interaction surpassed, the thought became worse. Was she losing her mind?

She was coming to know the two men that everyone adored. As she wished that she only adored them, she felt cursed with vivid dreams and fantasies she couldn’t rid herself of. Every time she looked at Suguru’s perfect face, long onyx hair, gauges in his ears, eyebrow piercing. The tattoos that hid beneath his clothes. Satoru’s light hair and cocky-son-of-a-bitch smirk. On the other hand, her reactions weren’t something that went unnoticed. The sudden flush of her cheeks intrigued them as they noticed her out of the corner of their eye.

She wasn’t like the other women that swooned over them, falling victim to their charms without any fight. She had always kept an arms length from the two, seemingly unaffected by their charisma and allure that drew others to them so easily. At least she pretended well enough.

They could sense her hesitation, the slight quiver of her bottom lip as they watched her from the front. She always kept her gaze away from them, eyes focused elsewhere.

A shiver came down her spine anytime Suguru shook her hand, the thought of that hand slamming down against her ass as he spanked her. Anytime Satoru looked her in the eyes, she imagined him staring down at her as she moaned in pleasure beneath him. Anytime they both spoke to her, she could hear them within her ear, whispering dirty blasphemies. She’d seen handsome men before. Why the hell were they so hard to remove from her mind? It had to be the forbidden fact that they were the church's chairmen, and she was only a member. It aroused her.

They noticed with more interaction that she distanced herself farther. The way her eyes always darted away, the flush in her face. She was always so…hesitant and reserved.

These qualities made her all the more enticing, Satoru found her obedience adorable. Suguru was losing his patience.

Nonetheless, every interaction showed how completely opposite they were. There were times that she assumed Suguru was the least bit interested, but then she would notice the looks he gave her. Like a predator patiently awaiting for its prey to look away before it made its attack. Satoru spoke with confidence, offering his hand when Solana was too afraid to reach out for it. But she couldn’t lie, there was a sense of arrogance to him. A cockiness where he knew the things she was feeling. Almost as if he could read her every thought.

As another service ended, she stood behind a group of women that spoke to them, waiting for her turn. They all turned towards her, eyes wicked and wanting to drain life from her presence. Just like they stared, she raised an eyebrow as she stared back, turning her head and watching until they walked out of the door.

“The hell are they looking at?” She twists her head.

“Solana,” Suguru calls, an irritation to his tone.

“Oh. Okay. The fuck,” she muttered to herself, apologizing in her head for the curse. She then brushes off the interaction as she speaks, “Good morning, I was just bringing my notes to you, Father. Didn’t mean to send away your groupies.”

“Groupies?” Suguru repeats.

“I’d say more devoted members,” Satoru corrects.

“Same difference. They all have more than one way of getting on their knees for either of you,” She fires politely.

Satoru raises his eyebrows, “Someone sounds jealous.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” she turns her head back to Suguru. He noticed the way her dress clung tightly to her frame, the subtle way it emphasized her hips. The way it highlighted her figure was almost distracting, almost intoxicating. He fought back the urge to stare, to ogle, to fantasize...

“How are you today?” She asks him.

His eyes flickered for a moment with amusement. She was so different from the rest of the women who came to this church. Instead of replying, he tilted his head to the side and took in a few seconds before shrugging. "I feel fine." he spoke, his voice still rich with annoyance. But there would be no breaking his poise, no cracking his self-assured exterior.

Although at times she couldn’t stand Satoru’s more extroverted character, she sometimes wished Suguru was a little more open with her. It frustrated her as he was always short, but his eyes told something different.

“Good,” she replied softly. She then pulled her notes from the pages between her Bible, lifting her hand out to him.

He reached out to take the pages from her hand, his fingers brushing against hers. He noticed how her hands trembled slightly as if she were nervous, how the tips of her fingers were lightly stained black from the ink. His glance scanned the room filled with his congregation, people chatting away with one another, exchanging pleasantries as they exited the church. But he couldn't help his gaze, constantly drifting back to Solana.

“I apologize for my indignation, Father,” Solana shakes her head.

"No need to apologize." he spoke. And for a split second, another hint of amusement crosses his face as he notices her blush reemerging after she offers an apology. It was always so innocent, that flush of red on her cheeks, almost comparable to a little girl.

He couldn't help himself from wondering whether she was truly as timid as she seemed on the outside.

“I…what’s so funny?” She asks, realizing as he looks to be entertained.

“Your…covetousness…it’s cute,” Satoru replies.

“Nothing,” Suguru says.

He wanted to reprimand her for the foul mouth she had, imagining how red her face would be if he slammed his palm against it, gripping her chin as his dick shoved into her mouth. None of that appeared on his expression.

“Okay. Well, I’ll see you guys at the next service,” she nods, keeping her eyes away from him. This time as she stared at them, all she could see was Suguru taking her against the podium, her screams filling the cathedral as Satoru held her face, cockily grinning at her demise. She swallowed as she turned around, quickly walking away.

Suguru watched her leave, his eyes following the subtle sway of her hips as she walked. It made him want to grasp and hold onto her. A vision of him grabbing her by the arm and dragging her back to the church made itself prominent in his mind, his voice whispering all of the things he’d do to her. Yet as always, it was just a vision.

But his eyes still lingered on her.

ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊ࠢ࠘𐡏~♡

Another week had gone by as she sat towards the back of the church. Her mind continued to run with images of Suguru and Satoru, just wanting to feel their lips against hers. This service they wore identical short sleeved turtlenecks and their usual cross necklaces, Suguru showing off the numerous tattoos down his arms, Satoru’s arms bulging through his top. She imagined those arms holding her up as they thrusted into her. The minute their eyes followed over to hers, she flew them back down.

They took notice of the way her gaze continued to dart away each time they looked in her direction, seemingly fearful. It was a far cry from the way the other women looked at them. In fact, it was almost as if she avoided their gaze on purpose.

She needed to do something about this. It felt like a sickness in the mind at this point, no medicine curable for her disease. As their usual routine played out, she handed Suguru her notes as he brushed his fingers against her hand, chills coming down her spine. The way her body responded to simple physical touches made him want to see what else he could do to crack her. His eyes watched as she darted away from them once again, he was becoming more and more agitated by her timidity. Satoru shook his head as he chuckled, Suguru making a mental note that the next time he wouldn't be so easy to dismiss her.

When she made it home that night, she forced herself to get dressed and do her makeup, planning a scheme as she made her way to the bar. She planned to erase them away with a good one night stand, twisting her drink in her hand as she stared over the crowd of tipsy eyes. She then found herself the perfect victim, a handsome smile seductive as he watched her.

She didn’t have it in herself for the small talk, or to waste any time. Their clothes shredded off as they fumbled into Solana’s condo, kissing messily as they landed on the bed. As she expected a full amount of pleasure to fulfill her, this random stranger rushed through the entire interaction. He pulled a condom out of his pocket, ripping the packaging harshly with his teeth. His lips against her neck felt sticky, attacking her throat in a way that was almost painful. She spread her legs as she awaited for him to bring his mouth lower.

He scrunches his face as he asks, “What?”

She frowns, “You aren’t gonna….?”

“Oh—nah, I don’t do that shit. I don’t really know you like that,” He responds, almost laughing at her question. She coughs as he then flips her body over to where she’s on her stomach, pressing her face into the sheet as he slides on his condom.

Before he continues he then asks, “I’m a little soft. Wanna give me some head?”

“Um, no?” She muffled through the blanket.

“Whatever,” he smacks his lips.

She hopes that the sex might cause them to create a better chemistry, awaiting for that incoming pleasure as he’s inside of her. This is all she needed, it would rid her of the annoying thoughts of Suguru and Satoru. As she thinks this, an overload of pain shreds through her lower abdomen as he enters her, realizing that she’s barely aroused. Even in the times that she wasn’t fully aroused, she’d be soaked at the thought of incoming pleasure. Not this time.

He pushes her head into the blanket as he thrusts wildly, giving her no air to breathe or even intake any type of pleasure—if there even was any. She grits her teeth as she tries to adjust herself, yet he grips her in place as he hastens, “Chill. Chill. You’re gonna fuck up my groove.”

She turns her head slightly as she tries to stare at him, his arms keeping her held down as he asks, “You like that?”

“Mhmmmm…” she responded, releasing a fake moan for him.

She closed her eyes as she became angry. All she could think about was Father Suguru and Satoru…

Before the blink of an eye, she suddenly hears the man behind her shout, “Oh, Sasha!” releasing within the condom he wears, pulling himself out as quickly as he went in. Bastard. She had told him her name.

She was frustrated beyond belief. The entire night had been unfulfilling, the way this random man had touched and kissed her was almost laughable when compared to the fantasies she had. His scent was uninspiring, his touch lacked a certain warmth. This man was boring, mundane, and unsatisfying. Her mind was elsewhere, all she could think about was Suguru. His smell, his voice and his touch. Then she thought about Satoru. She wished it was him instead of this random man who grunted above her.

The man's grunts and moans were almost amusing to her, but the sound of his snoring even more so as he collapsed against the bed, knocking out beside her. In all honesty, the man was more of a nuisance than anything. She didn’t even have the energy to kick him out as she turned over on her back, staring up into the ceiling as she continued to create those fantasies in her mind. She tried to relax, but his snoring filled her bedroom, drowning out any other noise.

Her mind began to flicker images again. She closed her eyes as she imagined the both of them crawling onto the bed with her, hands all along her body. She slowly brought her hand down between her legs, bringing a finger over her clit as she rubbed softly, biting down on her mouth as a small sense of pleasure rippled through her. She was always good at making herself cum, but tonight was like no other. She couldn’t finish. She wanted to throw a tantrum, banging her fists along the sheets of her bed. She turned on her side, hoping sleep would be better than any of this bullshit.

Waking up the next morning, she turns over as she sees this man still asleep in her bed, hoping he went into cardiac arrest. She relaxes within her sheets, assuming it was still early in the morning. As she picks up her phone to set her alarm, she sees it’s an hour after eleven. Her body springs up. She curses, “Shit! I’m late for church.”

She pushes the man out of her house, locking the door and blocking his number as she speeds to get ready. Solana pulls her hair into a claw clip, unable to have the patience to style it. A navy blue long sleeve clings to her upper body, yoga pants and matching heels, pulling her glasses over her face as she’s too impatient to put on her contacts. She grabs for her Bible and notebook, speeding out of the house and towards the church, hoping she’d make it in time.

She felt like a child in trouble. Sneaking her way into the crowd as she stands in the back, keeping her head down as she sees that everyone else has their head down in prayer. As she raises her eyes, she sees both Suguru and Satoru sitting on stage as another member speaks to the crowd. They immediately stare over her.

Their gaze locked onto her as she entered the church late, having somehow missed the sermon in its entirety. They looked almost…disappointed. But it had nothing to do with her punctuality.

Everyone begins to walk in different directions as service ends. She also realizes that she has no notes to give Suguru today as she awaits to speak with him. When she walks up to him, she immediately begins to apologize, “I’m sorry for my lateness, Father.”

His gaze was like a hawk. He said nothing as she apologized, instead he watched her lips move as she spoke, admiring the way they moved, how they'd look covered with his.

"That's alright" he finally spoke, his voice a deep and seductive rasp, "Don't worry about it, though I'm curious, what were you doing that kept you so late?"

“You haven’t missed a sermon since we officially met you,” Satoru points out, arms crossed over his chest.

“I was up a bit late last night watching tv, overslept. Indulgence, I suppose, Father,” she briefly explains.

She places a flyaway hair behind her ear that falls from her ponytail, wondering why a couple of members stare at her weirdly. She had never noticed the large hickey that was upon her neck, or that the stranger she’d slept with had given her one.

Suguru raises an eyebrow at this excuse. His eyes drift to the blotched spot on her neck, Satoru shaking his head. He noticed the way she fidgets nervously, taking in the fact that she hadn't noticed the mark herself. The look of slight amusement and disappointment were once again evident on his features.

"You were up late… watching tv,” Suguru repeated back to her, mocking her excuse.

She looks around, confused in everyone's eyes. “….Yes, Father,” she nodded, softly responding.

"Ah, I see..." Satoru’s smile widens, "And what was it that you were watching on tv that kept you up?”

His gaze remained locked on hers, his tone shifting to teasing and playful. She wanted to punch him.

“Documentary. Very uh…informational?” She tries to find her words, gripping the notebook in her hand.

“Very informative, huh?” Suguru questions.

“Why so many damn questions?” She becomes irritated, seeing they’re now playing with her.

Satoru shrugs, “Boredom peaks curiosity,” He reminds.

In reality they were just trying to tease her, to make her squirm as she tried to lie. There was definitely no documentary she watched, that much they both knew.

“I suppose you don’t remember getting this as you watched your show, right?” Suguru asks, lifting his hand as he dragged his thumb along her throat. Solana’s mouth parted as she froze, realizing he was referring to a hickey.

“I…I don’t…”

“You d—don’t?” Satoru mocks.

She glares as she thrashes Suguru’s hand away from her. He pulls away, placing his hand behind his back.

“Your show didn’t seem too...satisfying” Satoru eyes, grinning.

Suguru’s gaze remained on her neck nonetheless, his eyes slowly wandering to her face as he waited for her response. Would she admit what really happened? She refused to give them the satisfaction.

“Nothing to say?” Suguru prods.

“No,” she quickly replies, feeling her body becoming hot. A mixture of anger and arousal fills her. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to punch him, or fuck him. Maybe both.

“Fine. See you next time, then?” Satoru’s voice is sweet, more fake than anything.

As they begin to walk away from her, Solana closes her eyes. Embarrassing herself like this was enough to realize it was time to come clean, hoping this would rid her of all the vivid images of them. She just wanted them to stop. She places her own hand over her neck, remembering the hickey.

She squeezes her notebook harder as she states, “Wait, Father Suguru…I had a question for you.”

His expression shifted to one of curiosity, he could sense her sudden nervousness in speaking to him.

"Go ahead, what's the question?"

“I don’t want to take up too much of your time, but I have something I need penitents of. Would you…be here later tonight for a confessional?” She questions.

The sudden question surprised him. He expected this game to continue. Yet, she had requested a confessional, a place where one could go to share their deepest and darkest secrets with a priest. It was obvious that what she was hiding more than sleeping with another man, there were darker things at play.

He nodded shortly, "I’ll be here. Satoru will be in the presence of his first confessional and listen in, if you don’t mind.”

“That’s…fine. That’s perfect, actually,” she nods.

“Perfect?” Satoru questions.

She realizes how she spoke. She wanted to kick herself. She then ignores the smile on his face as she speaks, “I will see you guys later then,” turning as she nearly runs out of the church.

ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊ࠢ࠘𐡏~♡

She stood in the mirror, staring at herself in her bathroom. Nightfall had come quicker than she hoped for it to, her heart swelling with fear of all the possibilities to come from this admission. Her midnight hair fell around her face, almost straight, still having a bit of body to it. She stared at the black dress she wore, turning in the mirror as her entire back was shown, washing her vision over the religious tattoo on her spine. Did it mean anything to her?

She slipped on her golden chromatic heels, hot pink irises seated atop of the thin straps. Her skin smelled of vanilla and a mixture of mint, always wanting to present herself with a sense of confidence. That confidence was nowhere to be found as of right now. Where had it gone?

All of these thoughts entered her mind as she drove down the road. What if she told them how she felt? Would she be banned from the church, shunned by the congregation? Declared as a personified sinner?

Unlike a regular church service, the entire cathedral is empty. The pews travel as far as the eye can see, walls a dimly lit champagne color. Her eyes fall to a mahogany wooden shed, two large crosses carved into the doors on both sides. It looked bigger than a regular confessional box. As she slid the door open to her side, she entered to see that it was big enough to fit almost five people, turning her head to see there was a large mirror across from where she would be seated.

As she looks through the wall that separates the two sides, she sees a pair of silhouettes, seeming as Suguru and Satoru are already there. Her heart beats faster.

She sits herself on the bench connected to the walls, bringing her eyes over her own reflection. Looking at herself suddenly makes her uncomfortable. She can see them on the other side, their eyes not facing her. It makes her feel less judged.

She asks, “May I know why my confessional has a mirror, Father?” She asks softly.

His silhouette moved as she spoke, the sound of her voice was more alluring than he had expected.

"The mirror is meant to allow you a clear view of yourself as you confess your sins. It’s intended to remind you to face yourself,” Suguru explains.

“Your face will be forced to stare directly at those sins as you speak of them. It’ll lead to self reflection,” Satoru adds.

She lets out a breath, nodding more to herself. Silence now fills the space, a tension she hadn’t expected to be so thick casts in between the wall separating the three.

“Speak your penitent,” Suguru’s deep voice demands.

A fear creeps up her spine. She couldn’t believe that she was actually doing this. Fuck it, she figured.

“Bless me, Father. For I have sinned…” she speaks, lightly crossing her hand over her chest.

Both Suguru and Satoru previously watched her as the confessional door slid open, watching her reflection as she sat inside, the dress she wears already making them think there was so much more to explore. They could only imagine what secrets hid under her loosely flowing hair, the tattoo on her back, and the way that dress draped off her form - highlighting the perfect curves of her body.

"Go ahead" Suguru spoke through the small slit in the confessional, his eyes gazing at her reflection in the mirror as he awaited her words.

“Right. Okay,” Solana takes another deep breath.

“Well…when you asked me about how my night went, I lied about what happened. I…had sex with a man I met at the bar…” she confesses softly.

“The sex was meaningless—and boring—if that’s appropriate to add. I thought that it would help me shake this feeling I’ve been having for a while. This…itch that I haven’t been able to scratch…”

Suguru listened. He didn't seem shocked, he didn't even seem disappointed—if anything he was unsurprised by it. As she mentioned the sex being meaningless and her inability to shake the "itch,” Satoru couldn't help the smirk that covered his lips.

They knew precisely what she was thinking yet stayed quiet, waiting for her to continue.

“I…” she breathed in, “Ever since I joined this congregation, I’d been having these…feelings. My mind filled itself with these vivid images and fantasies of sexual endeavors that become filthier as they continue, and I’ve been trying to parish them away. But…I can’t,” she speaks, unable to look into her reflection as she keeps her eyes against her lap, looking over to the wall that separates their bodies. She’s glad she can’t see them.

"Is there more that you want to confess?" Suguru spoke, his voice firm.

“Yes….” She spoke, “These…images, fantasies, I….I’d been having them of you and Father Satoru. Ever since I came here, I thought you were both immensely attractive. But I didn’t think that allowing myself to be physically attracted to the both of you would cause all of these imageries. I would imagine myself having filthy sex with you—anytime you stood in front of the congregation. For that…I’m sorry,” she keeps her head down.

She awaits for his voice, preparing for the disgust of her words. Instead, she hears nothing. Absolutely nothing. She lifts her head to look on the other side of the box, seeing that it’s now empty. Shit, did she really mess up that badly?

“…Father?” She then calls, hearing nothing in response.

She waits a few moments, still hearing nothing. She feels terrible. She shouldn’t have come at all—Maybe she should’ve just never returned to the church. As she stands to leave, her heart jumps out of her chest. The door to the confessional opens and quickly shuts, both Suguru and Satoru now standing in this space with her. Trapping her with them. Her breath catches in her throat as the door slams shut, the air in the cramped space becoming thick with the heat of three bodies.

Their gaze fixated upon her as they lean against the wall of the confessional box opposite of her, their frames dominating the confined space.

“Tell me exactly what you’re apologizing for, Solana,” Suguru firmly initiates.

“I don’t think I should be having these thoughts about…wanting to have sex with the both of you. And I do,” she swallows, “Your church members already have this idea of me. I see the way they look at me when I come in here. I could only think what you or Father Satoru would have to say—especially after my confession.”

“I think you’re honest,” Suguru observes.

They can almost see the relief weigh off of her shoulders at his response. But as she looks between them, it seems to be more that she’s missing.

Satoru then speaks up, “Poor baby. This has really been bothering you, hasn’t it?”

“It has,” she softly agrees. “So—“

“So we’ll just fuck you, then.” Suguru states, promises.

Solana’s eyes go slightly wide as she stutters, “What?”

“That’s what you want, right?”

Satoru fully extends, coming forward as he hovers his frame over her smaller one. She steps back as she nearly trips over the bench, holding herself steady as she feels Satoru’s hand come upon her hip, making sure she doesn’t fall.

“I—“

“I know that’s what you want, Solana. I just need to hear you say it,” Suguru speaks up, capturing her throat within his palms, digging his fingers lightly into the skin. She now has both men holding a part of her, her body completely on fire at their simple touch. They were inviting her into a dangerous situation. She could admit—she wanted every part of it.

“Yes,” She muttered softly.

“Look at me and say that,” he grips her face tighter, forcing her eyes to look into his.

“Yes, fuck me,” she repeated, more firm. Meaning it.

“Good,” Suguru leans down, slamming his lips along hers.

Her throat mewls at the warmth of his mouth. She’d never had a man kiss her like this. He had a grip on the back of her neck as he leaned down, sensually thrusting his tongue in and out of her mouth for her to catch it, eyes closing as she moaned softly at the feeling. His lips were warm and his tongue was even warmer as it danced within her mouth, exploring every possible crevice— every space that it had access to. His grip on her only tightened, trapping her completely in the embrace of his hand as his body pressed closer to hers.

“Greedy, aren’t we?” Satoru asked, harshly pulling her away from Suguru’s mouth. He stuck his tongue out which caused her to lean forward, sucking his tongue within her mouth, his lips plush and soft as he smashed them together, softer and more sensual than the first kiss she shared. It’s like he was trying to absorb her scent, inhaling the mixture of vanilla and mint. She was like a drug.

“Look at how responsive she is…” Satoru taunts, bringing his mouth down to her throat, sucking the skin into his lips. Solana’s eyes fluttered shut as she whimpered softly, hearing Suguru’s voice as he replied, “We’ve barely touched her.”

Satoru now stands behind her as Suguru stands in front, both beginning to remove the vestments they wore. They then help her remove her dress, their eyes hungry as her brown nipples perk out, figure even better without clothing. Solana’s eyes come to the mirror behind them as she sees his back is covered in ink, shadowing any of his olive toned skin. His hair that was in a half bun began falling around his attractive face, it felt almost too intimate to stare. Satoru stood behind her, skin clean and soft, body sculpted perfectly to her touch. They were fucking beautiful. Hands roamed all around her body, lips along her chest, while another pair bit into her shoulder. It was overwhelming in the best way.

“Hold her up. You want my tongue?” Suguru’s eyes raise to hers, she quickly nods.

“You’re forgetting to say please,” he reminds. Satoru places his arms under the back of her legs, effortlessly lifting her up as her back is now against his chest, legs bending upwards in the air.

“Please,” she becomes slightly irritated at how he wants things his way. Her breath hitches as Satoru somehow pulls her arms with her legs, keeping her firmly stuck in his hold.

“Wanna try again?” Suguru raises an eyebrow as he hears her attitude. He lightly smacks his palm against her face, shoving his fingers down her throat as he brings his face close to hers, dominance pooling into her veins.

“I’m sorry,” her voice is small as she inhales deeply from his actions, wanting more from him, “Please, baby. I want your tongue.”

“Next time I won’t be so nice,” he promises, traveling his soaked fingers down her body, rubbing her puffy clit. She wanted to clasp her thighs closed, Satoru behind her as his tongue drags along her ear, teasing her as she moans prettily. Her sounds are like angels singing, even as condescending as that might’ve been.

Suguru takes his index and middle finger as he sinks them inside her, moaning with Solana as she pulls him in deeper, her walls gripping him as if never wanting to let him go. She brought her eyes up to the mirror and watched as his fingers shoved in and out.

Satoru’s now in her ear as he chuckles sultrily, “Look at that, baby,” he talks to her, “I think she wants more.”

“I want more,” she mewls, “Please.”

“Give her what she wants,” Satoru commands.

Suguru leans down as he removes his fingers from her, capturing her clit within his mouth as he sucks softly. He goes slow, allowing the pleasure to hit every nerve within her body, rotating his head in circles as his tongue drags all along her core, saliva creating against tastebuds.

She leans her head against Satoru’s shoulder as she begs, “Kiss me,” he does without argument.

Suguru’s tongue doesn’t slow down, diving in and out of her, fucking her with his mouth as he moans against her, kissing her clit passionately in the same way he made out with her.

“Tastes so fucking sweet, baby. This some crazy shit” he groans, spanking her skin as Satoru holds her hips up higher, Suguru’s tongue delving deeper.

“Suguru…oh—shit,” she whined, wanting to grip his hair yet her hands were still trapped. Her back arches as she could only see the back of his head from the mirror, watching as he pleasured her. Satoru’s grip was tight, ensuring that her body didn't move around or move away from Suguru, arch becoming stronger.

He snaked his hand up to her face, pulling it downwards as he spoke, “Watch me.”

His breath was hot against her opening as he maintained eye contact. "Look at what I'm doing to you... Look at how you’re moaning from just my mouth…” he talks to her, slamming his palm along her thigh, watching the skin become red as he rutted his lips against her core.

Her hips swayed against his face, hair around her neck making her hot. She responded petulantly, “I’m watching, baby…I promise…”

“Good.”

He brought his free hand up to her chest, cupping the breast within his hand, squeezing and kneading the soft skin. She felt her lower stomach becoming tight. Her abdomen stiffened as she gripped Suguru’s hair, filthily spouting within his mouth. She was unable to hold herself back as her eyes rolled in her head, shuddering as she watched him dipping his tongue inside her, eating like she’d be ripped away from his hold at any second.

He stands up, gripping her face as he kisses her, sucking her lower lip before he pulls back, “Tell me who you want to fuck you first.”

“You, Suguru.” She whimpers.

“Fuck her, Satoru.” Suguru easily denies.

Satoru drops her legs that feel like jelly, her feet now flat on the ground. Hands bend her over whilst pushing her back inwards, watching as it perfectly arches. Light eyes took in the way her hips curved perfectly in his hands. He lowers himself down as he brings his mouth between her legs, Solana lightly jumping at the intrusion. She has no time to react as she feels a hand on her chin, pulling her eyes upwards to look at Suguru.

“She doesn’t deserve to have her pussy ate again. You remember how bad her mouth was?” Suguru reminds. Solana’s eyes close as Satoru gently laps between her folds, fondling the skin of her ass.

“Put something in it, then. This isn’t for her,” Satoru commands, attaching his mouth back onto her.

“I’ll ruin her throat,” he responds back.

“She’ll love it.”

“I know she fucking will,” Suguru gruffly responds, wrapping his free hand around his length as he forcefully opens her mouth, shoving himself to the back of her throat. Her mouth feels full, no room to adjust as he collects her hair in his fist, yanking her back and forth against his hips. She salivated, going to wrap her hands around him as Satoru gripped both of her wrists in one hand behind her. Suguru pulls her down farther, Solana choking as he slammed his tip against her uvula, her eyes watering at his movements. But Satoru was right about one thing. She did love it.

“Look at you, baby,” Suguru moans, gritting his teeth as she hummed against him, bobbing her head lightly from the little control she had. Her lips were becoming a pouty red. She could feel his nails digging within her scalp, tilting his head down to watch as he fucked her face roughly.

Satoru extends to his full height, taking himself within his hand, placing the other on Solana’s hip to angle her properly. His tip taps along her clit, kissing the pulsing throb. She became more aroused than before.

He slides himself in, Solana’s eyes fluttering shut as she moaned against Suguru’s length that was still driving within her mouth. She slows down the pleasure she gives to him, feeling as if Satoru is just as big as Suguru, if not bigger. He stretches her, her lower abdomen burning from the feeling, a stronger sense of pleasure overcoming the pain.

He starts off slow, only pulling halfway out as he pushes in deeper the second time, Solana shouting as he spanks her, “Open up for me. I’ll fuck you good.”

She tries to relax, Suguru holding her head as he asks, “When did I tell you to stop?”

Taking the both of them was something she didn’t imagine struggling with. Satoru places his hand on her shoulder as he pulls her back against him, the back of her thighs creating a squelching sound from how wet she already was. He keeps his other hand wrapped around her fists, moaning lowly as she grips every inch that deeply pounds into her. Her eyes remained closed as Suguru pounds her face on the other end, her jaw painfully twitching yet she opened her mouth wider, moaning at every movement.

“She feels fuckin’ amazing,” Satoru grunts, “Keep fucking her mouth. It makes her more wet.”

“Fuck her harder,” Suguru counters.

And they did. Satoru snaps his hips into her, the rhythm perfect as her mouth meets with Suguru’s hips each time. She moans with every thrust, body trembling each time Satoru slams his palm on her ass, each time Suguru slams his palm on her cheek. She mewls again, her body nearly relaxing in this position, lower abdomen trembling.

“She’s gonna cum,” Satoru eyes, never stopping his movements of fucking her.

“She better fuckin’ not,” Suguru threatens.

“Come fuck her. She wants you more. Don’t you?” Satoru pulls her upwards, her feet nearly off of the ground as he wraps both of his hands around her throat from behind. Her hips bounce against his own, her eyes closing as she whimpers, “Satoru.”

“Call my name like that again, baby. Maybe I’ll believe you. What happened? I thought you wanted Suguru?” He talks to her, clasping her throat under his palms, throwing her body back and forth against his length, Solana gripping his fingers that have a tight hold against her. She grunts in response, her voice trailing into a whine as she cries softly, “No, baby. I want you, too. Feels so…fucking…good…”

“I know,” he agrees.

“Oh, you don’t want me no more?” Suguru then asks, wrapping his fingers atop of Satoru’s that still sit on her throat, helping as he drags her down, slamming her back down onto Satoru’s hips.

“Can’t ever forget you, Suguru. Come fuck me, baby. I miss you,” she babbles. Her voice causes Suguru to grunt, kissing her aggressively at her pleads.

Satoru finally releases her. Suguru then effortlessly pulls her up to him, bringing her legs over his shoulders as he stands at his full height. Her body shivers as she feels hit tip, fat and throbbing against her opening. Her eyes close as he slowly slides her down, her mouth dropping open as he feels huge, stretching her so far that she thought she’d tear. His eyes flick down to hers to watch, Solana able to see her own pleasure within the mirror. She sees his perfectly sculpted back, resting her arms along his neck as her nails connected against the ink upon it, digging her fingers into his skin.

His hips moved slowly, the small movements he made were almost methodical as he leaned more into the sensation of her body meeting his. With his back fully visible to her through the mirror, she was able to completely take in his physique, watching the way that his muscles flexed as he moved. They watched each other, seeing him slowly thrust himself into her body, back still as stiff as a board yet with Solana in his limbs, he had a slight sway to him.

“Oh…my—“ she breathes in deeply, unable to speak as she stared into his face, nodding her head since her voice couldn’t do anything to help.

“You’re not so shy anymore, are you?” Suguru taunts her, lifting her body up with ease as he sinks her back down. Their bodies continue to move in rhythm, his hips picking up speed as he moves more intensely against her. She struggles to hold on, nails digging into his back as she brings her eyes down, watching his length go in and out of her. She was completely enthralled by him.

“Stop it…” she panted.

“She can’t take it. She’s going to take it,” Satoru speaks behind them, lightly kissing her neck as he grips her hair in his fist, pulling her up slightly.

“C’mon, pretty girl. You did so well taking my dick. You want more, huh?”

“Yes,” she bites her lip, groaning at his words. The back of her thighs slam against the front of Suguru as he grips her ass tightly in his palms, her skin clapping with his as he becomes rougher with every thrust.

“Then watch him. Look how he’s fucking you. I think you like the way he handles you,” he pulls the ponytail he’s created in her hair, Solana seeing as Suguru’s length disappears and then reappears again.

She listened. She watched intensely between their hips as he pulled out slowly, slamming her back down quickly. Fingers gripped his arms as she tilted her head down to watch, hair falling around her face. Her eyes rolled entirely to the back of her head as she spoke. She cried softly, “Oh my god…” groaning as if she were annoyed, “Yes. Yes. Fuck me just like that, I love bouncing on your dick like this, baby,” she hiccuped.

Her face was completely red. As she scanned Suguru’s eyes, she could see a sudden cockiness within him—and slowly, a grin spread across his face. It was the most terrifying thing she’d ever seen.

Both men laugh arrogantly, Satoru reaching around as he rubs her clit, Solana’s head falling back against his shoulder as she couldn’t stop herself from moaning.

“Calling god now? Shame. Seems like she needs more penitents,” Suguru laughs, humored at the loss of her pride.

“He can’t help you here…” Satoru talks within her ear, echoing into her mind.

It was as if she was drunk, babbling against the both of them, allowing them to have full control over her. Her head continued to spin, eyes captivated of his strength, legs over his shoulders flailing with every movement. Her nails dug into his back, free hand shoving her own fingers into her mouth as she sucked, moaning loudly against them.

“I’m gonna….”

“Cum. She’s gonna cum. Let her,” Satoru finishes.

“Nah. I’m not with the sweet shit. She better wait,” Suguru shakes his head.

He pulls out of her, Solana shivering as they quickly change positions. She looks down as Suguru is now beneath her, Satoru placing his length in front of her face.

“Come sit on my dick. I’ll make you squirt like this,” Suguru demands, pulling her down. He wraps his hands around her waist as he’s already shoving himself into her.

“Wanna feel your throat, baby,” Satoru speaks sweetly, separating her mouth as he pushes his tip past her lips. She complies, growing more horny by the second as she circles her hips atop of Suguru, taking her hand as she wraps it around the base of Satoru, sucking him within her own pleasure.

“Even through all this…you’re still so good…” Suguru grunts, spanking her.

Satoru strokes her face gently, seeing as tears drop from her eyes, not knowing how much longer she was going to be able to handle the both of them. She grips her own breast with her other hand, Suguru snatching the hand away as he replaces it with his palm, squeezing as he thrusts upwards into her.

“Relax, pretty girl. You wanna cum?” Satoru asks from above, rubbing her face to relax her, Solana nodding as she sobs softly, unable to do anything but take what was given to her.

“You’re lucky you have him. I’d make you cry like a fuckin’ baby,” Suguru spits.

“She already is. She looks so cute,” Satoru tells him, “You can cum, baby. I’m close too.”

“She’s creaming. Never had dick like this, have you? You’ll want more. You’ll be back,” Suguru promises once again, holding her firmly as grinds her against him, Solana’s hips involuntarily wining.

“Imagine what the congregation will think when they hear how good you take my dick. How you whine for more. Satoru was right, you are fuckin’ greedy.”

That was enough for her. Neither of them stop as she thrashes atop of Suguru, sobbing loudly as she orgasms, core squelching as she gushes against his length. Suguru laughs, spanking her so hard that it leaves a bruise.

As both men continue their non-stop fulfillment of pleasure, they watch as she relaxes, just wanting to be so good for them. They felt satisfied, able to break her in the way they imagined. Both men grunt, Satoru moaning as he holds Solana’s chin, pulling back as he shoots against her beautiful face. Suguru moans after, pulling out of her as he pulls her forward, cumming along her ass, gripping the flesh in his palm.

They all pant against one another, Solana wanting to feel embarrassed. She wanted to feel like this was the biggest mistake she’d made in her life. Yet, she felt the complete opposite. She felt trapped within these men, and she damn sure didn’t want out.

“I think you two might be the devil…” she breathes heavily.

“What if we told you that we were? What if we told you we were the worst people you’d ever met?” Satoru teases, Suguru chuckling in response.

“I think I might believe you.”

“Good,” Suguru replies, Solana jumping as he pulls her down by her neck, lips nearly touching hers as he speaks a deafening sentence.

“‘Cause we’re not done with you yet.”

[everyonewooeverywhere]

MDNI 18+ BLOG -> ageless blogs and minors WILL BE BLOCKED

pairing ✭ guitarist!hongjoong x f!reader

synopsis ✭ guitarist hongjoong fucks you in your hotel room

content/genre ✭ smut 18+ MDNI

word count ✭ 1.7k

warnings: smut, oral sex (f receiving), fingering

✭✭✭✭

Life on tour for Hongjoong was so much easier when he knew his baby in the crowd cheering him on. It was so much easier to show off to a crowd screaming his name, when he knew you were out there, too, watching him perform. He wanted to bring you up there with him, put you on display for all of the fans to see. He wanted them to see his girl. The only one he ever needed to scream his name.

He couldn’t do that of course, because your relationship was a well kept secret between the two of you. No one knew what happened between the two of you backstage after every show. No one knew of the way you snuck into his hotel room every night and left in the early hours of the morning to avoid being caught.

Why? Because you were the frontman’s little sister, and, if Seonghwa ever found out what the two of you got up to, he’d probably end up with a broken nose, no job and Ateez would need a new guitarist.

It wasn’t necessarily that your brother didn’t approve of you dating, but he made it abundantly clear that his bandmates were completely off limits. Of course, following the rules was never any fun.

Which is why when you got a call from Hongjoong at 2 in the morning, you were immediate with your pick up. Grabbing your phone off the nightstand in your hotel room. Falling back into your sheets. 

“Hey, baby,” he rasped out, voice tired from performing and partying subsequently. A party which you skipped out on, hoping to clean yourself up before you got this inevitable call. “I’m back at the hotel, can I swing by your room?”

“Hmm, I don’t know…” you teased, and he could hear the smirk in your voice. “I’m kind of tired.”

“Too bad, sweetheart, I’m outside your door.” You jumped out of bed at that announcement. Discarding your phone on the bed. 

You gave yourself a once over in the mirror. Admiring the reflection of you wearing nothing more than an Ateez band tee and a pair of painties.

You only cracked the door a little bit, but he pushed into the room immediately at the sight of you. No words were exchanged before he backed you up against the same door, one arm over your head one around your waist. 

When you slid your hands up to the collar of his jacket, he let you pull him down to your lips. It was a hungry kiss. Making up for the lost time of not being able to kiss you on stage. Not being able to go down on you backstage before every concert. Not being able to bend you over the sink in some random bar take you from behind.

Though, that last one had happened before, but your brother had almost walked in on it. And you had to hide in a gross stall until he left.

His lips were slightly chapped, but you couldn’t care less because he was so close to you. He smelled faintly of alcohol but he didn’t taste like it so you could tell he hadn’t been drinking. Something you appreciated because it meant he had full control of himself when he hiked up one of your legs and gripped your thigh.

The whimper you let out when he rolled his hips into your clothed heat drove him crazy. When he finally pulled away from your lips, they were puffy and your hair was scattered from his hand in it. 

“Hello to you too,” you breathed out. 

He chuckled, and kissed down from your neck to your collarbone. It took everything in him not to mark up every inch of your neck. He’d just have to wait until he could leave one somewhere less visible. 

“You did good tonight,” you tangled a hand in his blonde hair. “I love watching you play.” You sighed as his hands slipped up your shirt. Thumbs softly caressing the skin under your breasts. 

“Yeah?” he met your gaze, “you have no idea how much I love knowing you’re in the crowd cheering for me. Especially in your skimpy little outfits.”

“I wear them for you,” that was the truth. You knew that he always went crazy for your tiny skirts and ripped tights. 

He pulled your shirt over your head. Leaving you just in your lacy black panties. He took a step back but kept a hold of your waist, “fuck, baby…you’re so fucking beautiful. You know that right?”

He gave you no time to respond, though because he was immediately on his knees. 

“Joong,” you moaned when he kissed your pussy over your panties, gently biting the fabric, “I have a bed.”

He left a kiss on your thigh, “we’ll get there. Just let me take care of you here, okay?”

He slid your bottoms down your legs and let you step out of them before throwing them behind him. As a man of his word, he took care of you. Not wasting any time at all. 

He licked a stripe through your folds before finding your clit and sucking on it. Hard. You cried out and gripped his hair. 

When his tongue pushed into you, you rolled your hips over his face, clit brushing his nose. “Joongie, oh fuck, Joo—,” you tried desperately to get your words out but coherent sentences were beyond impossible at this point. He’d brought his thumb up to your clit. 

He felt so good. Every move he made was so calculated and executed to give you the most pleasure. And it paid off because you were practically screaming his name. Every whimper and moan built up his confidence. Making him work harder and faster to please you with his mouth.

He moved his mouth back to your clit so he could push his fingers into you. God his fingers could send you to hell and back on their own. That was the reason you really liked to watch him play. Every time you saw him brush his fingers over the strings, you imagined them gripping your hair, pinching your nipples and fucking your needy cunt like they were doing now.

“Oh you’re so close. Aren’t you, angel?”

“Mhmm, yeahhhh,” you cried out, “I’m so close baby, please don’t stop!”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Oh my—hah, fucking hell! I’m coming!” he groaned into your cunt as you finished all over his face. He took so much pleasure in licking you clean. Lapping at your both your thighs and the pussy he just fucked with his mouth and fingers.

When he stood back up, you were quick to grab at the jacket he still hadn’t taken off and to pull his shirt over his head. He kissed you again, and you could taste yourself on him. 

“You taste so fucking good, baby. I could do that for hours.” 

You pushed him back toward the bed in the middle of the room, “maybe another time. I really need you to fuck me right now, though.”

He chuckled and pulled you back towards the bed with him, “my baby’s so greedy. You can never get enough can you?”

✭✭✭✭

In his naked glory, he leaned back against the headboard. You crawled to him over top of the sheets and straddled his waist. He groaned when you grabbed his cock and slipped a condom from your purse onto it. Spitting in your hand and pumping it a couple times. 

“Baby, I’m gonna need you to hurry up,” he grunted when you slid over his length covering him in a mix of your own mess and his own spit from earlier. 

You positioned his tip at your entrance, and slowly teased it in. The moan you let out as you sunk down on his length almost made Hongjoong finish right then and there.

Everything was so fucking perfect. The way you looked at him through half-closed eyes. Fully engulfed in the pleasure he gave you. How your skin glowed because of your sweat and the low lighting of your hotel room. And your voice. God your voice. The alluring nature in which you cried out for him. Begging him to take you to your peak.

“Fu—” you threw your head back, “oh Joongie you're so big.”

“God, angel, your so fucking tight,” he grunted, “this needy little cunt is always so good to me.”

When you started to move yourself, he lost it. Gripping your hips and thrusting up into you over and over and over again. You had one hand tangled in his hair and one gripping at your own breast. Pinching the nipple and rolling it through your fingers. 

“Oh baby, God,” he groaned in your ear, “keep going.”

You moaned, “oh my god! Oh, oh–. Fuck, I’m close!”

As if on cue, he thrust up into you one last time and finished into the condom. He pulled out of you but kept a finger on your clit. Working at it so fast that your vision began to fog. 

“There! Oh my–,” you whimpered, “fucking hell!”

You reached your climax all over his hand.

Nothing could hold you back from collapsing in his chest. Your own chest heaving along with his. He ran his hand over your hair, “you good baby?”

“Mhm,” you sighed into his chest.

He sat up after a couple minutes, “let’s get cleaned up, ok?”

✭✭✭✭

In the warm water of the shower, he helped you wash your back. Massaging the hotel body wash into your skin and rinsing it off with the shower head. His fingers scratching at your scalp as he washed your hair was an incredible feeling. Especially when he leaned in to kiss your wet shoulders when the soap was cleared.

When you turned around to face him, you brushed a hand through his wet, blond hair.  “Do you wanna stay here tonight?” You asked him.

“Of course, baby,” he kissed you, “just let me go change.”

He grabbed a robe and wrapped it around himself. As he dried off his hair with a towel and slid into a pair of the hotel’s slippers, he reached for his phone which was discarded on your floor along with his clothes.

He was shocked to see he had 6 missed calls. All from your brother.

Shit. He ran hand through his hair.

There was a knock at the door.

Hongjoong looked down at his phone again when it buzzed. 

seonghwa: i know you’re in there open the fucking door.

Well fuck. 

✭✭✭✭

thank you for reading!! this one took a bit because i had an essay due this week. and i started crocheting a sweater and that's all i felt motivated to do in my free time 😅

anyways, if you are interested in joining my taglist you can now do so here, and my requests are now open if you feel so inclined.

as always, reblog, comment or message me to let me know what you thought! love you all 😙🫶💗

mwah~