#i don’t wanna put it directly into the writing tag
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i wish i could magically block all negative posts about writing. i’m talking about the ones like “i’m a writer and i hate writing” or alternatively “i wish i was a writer but i’m not really a writer bc i don’t write enough/im not fast enough/i never finish anything/etc etc”
i understand the intent from these posts (i think at least) and i used to say the same things. but it only made me feel worse. and right now i’m actively trying to avoid these kinds of thinkings because it is very harmful to my psyche and creative drive.
i like using the for you page bc it’s new content from new people (it sucks ass but i’d rather have stuff to look at than scroll thru the same tags over and over again or wait patiently for someone i follow to post lmao) but i digress
u look at one post for 1 second too long and that’s all it’s recommending you now. but specifically with this writing thing, it is so popular. it’s inescapable. so many think these things
i just wanna something other than this sad drivel. i can block as many writing tags as i want to and it’s still gonna be there. the best i can do is ignore it as it comes but it has its way of sneaking into your thoughts when you least expect it.
this is just me complaining honestly. i can’t control other people and i don’t want to either. i guess i just wish my brain wasn’t wired this way lol or yeah i wish i had that magical button that keeps the negative away
it’s just the internet experience honestly. insert any topic in the place of writing and you’ll no doubt find a similar phenomena
anyway yeah just gotta complain sometimes, u know? lol
#personal rant#this turned into a rant#sorry sorry#personal#dunno what else to tag#i don’t wanna put it directly into the writing tag#but i’m sure it’ll be recommended somewhere just bc the word is present in the post#i haven’t slept in 30 hours now
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im lowkey so annoyed charles said he’d want to have a conversation w elon musk on that podcast. like i’m obvi not looking to charles as my main political source lol and i do believe he meant it in a completely unaware surface level ~tech billionaire entrepreneur~ kind of way bc he’s interested in those types of figures/that’s how he explained it on the pod but still sucks to hear. i don’t think this one-off hypothetical automatically means charles has bad politics i think he just prob lives in his celebrity bubble and doesn’t see all the shit musk stands for beyond his like business creds ig but still … he could’ve literally said anyone else
#esp considering charles is someone w such good pr otherwise#ig this is a good reminder that celebrities and normal ppl don’t exactly operate on the same frequency#and it was clearly a throwaway comment not intended for deep analysis (as I’m doing rn lol) but like when musk could directly impact policy#I kinda have to take it seriously#and yes it was filmed before the trump livestream but musk has been awful for years#ugh anyway#I love charles so much so it just stinks to hear this. esp bc the rest of the podcast was so good!!! m#(podcast was beyond the grid in case anyone actually reads these tags lmao)#idk if I should put this in the normal charles tag ig I will#I don’t wanna tag it as anti bc it’s not fully anti it’s more just … a reminder that I can’t idolize celebs#charles leclerc#f1#text#mine#the way I use tumblr as just my personal diary#like am I overreacting? probably 100% yes and I’ll prob forget about this in a week but sometimes u just gotta write it out u know
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put it in writing (m)
In collaboration with @camandemstudios Pairing: college student!seungkwan x Fem!TA!reader Genre: humor, smut Word count: 7.8k tags: college au, TA x student dynamic, push-and-pull, mentions of TXT's soobin, mentions of Ryan Gosling, a lot of fucking lying, explicit content, unprotected sex, hair pulling, cream pies, oral, cum-consumption, pet names (baby, good boy), praise kink Summary: You keep things professional--as you should--even if one of your students is someone you hooked up with one night before the college semester started. Meanwhile, Boo Seungkwan is anything but honest--he's a writer after all--but if he is honest about one thing, it's about wanting to write a new story with you. a/n: thank you @highvern @sluttyminghao and @strxwberry-skiess for beta reading <3 (late note: I wanna thank @gyuswhore @highvern and @haologram for the brainstorming if I forgot to mention anyone I’m sorry. They’ve been a really big help and we’re super motivating and supportive the entire process I love yall 💕)
You don’t go out. Period. As simple as that.
Until tonight.
Summer is almost over, and once it ends, you’ll be Professor Yoo’s newest TA. You've worked hard to get to this point and despite the inevitable late-night grading sessions, you expect the experience to be rewarding and maybe even inspirational. You’re sure this achievement would make your academic-forward parents proud. Their daughter, at the top of her class, brimming with excitement and potential, jobs coming in from left and right, all while on her way to...a Writing degree.
The one downside: they didn’t believe a writing degree would lead to anything substantial. Not like Biomedical engineering or Accounting. The one degree worse than Art. You almost forgot that writing was useless in their eyes because who couldn’t just pick up a pen and paper to scribble some words down?
You down another cheap shot of tequila, muttering your grievances under your breath as your friends revel in the club's pulsating atmosphere. They are only mildly concerned with your drinking habits, accustomed to your tightly wound, studious nature. Typically, you are the one buried in textbooks, rarely venturing into the party scene. Yet tonight, you surprise them all with your ironclad liver, effortlessly downing shots without a hint of a stumble.
“You, okay?”
You scoff, taking yet another shot, “Really depends what that means. ‘Okay’ as in life or ‘okay’ as in financially, mentally, emotionally, sexually, and-slash-or physically fulfilled with proud parents that love me unconditionally?”
“Oh, boy.” Hyeri tries to tear you away from any more alcohol and lays you flat against the back of the leather booth, twisting the top of a water bottle before putting it on your lips. “Let's get you hydrated, hmm? Can’t have you hungover the next day. I’ll be the one you’re complaining to.”
“Suffer my consequences!”
“Of course, darling.”
Hyeri, your steadfast friend since high school and now a new TA from another university, is like a sister to you. She knows your every habit and inclination, no matter how shit-faced you decide to get. “Don’t look, but there’s supple skin, high cheekbones, and a pretty smile looking directly at you.”
You subtly fix your gaze and accidentally meet the young man’s eyes as he nurses a highball glass between his lips. His eyes narrow back at you with interest. You muse back at him, mimicking his action with the water bottle in your grasp. As you drink with your eyes glued on his expression, the water passes over your lips, with the excess trickling suggestively down your chin and neck, your skin glistening in its sheen.
His lips part, dropping in a smug smile–and my, was it prettier than anticipated–and tilt his head as if quietly beckoning you closer.
“I’m going over there.”
Before you could get up from your booth, Hyeri is there to immediately tug you back down, eyes full of concern. “Are you sure, hon? You had quite a bit to drink.”
Your eyes crease as you smile back at her reassuringly. “I’ll be fine.”
“He looks young, he probably doesn't even know what a 401k is.”
“Do any of us?” You leave off before striding in the direction of the pretty boy, who still can’t keep his eyes off you.
You weave through the sea of sweaty bodies, sidestepping spilled drinks and the pulsating lights of the dance floor, your eyes locked on him. His gaze trails you with every step, a flicker of anticipation in his eyes, speaking to you like an incantation. When you finally reach his feet, the distance closing with each heartbeat, his smile grows wider, more inviting. The moment your legs brush against the softness of his leather couch, he leans to maintain your locked gaze, a now more playful glint in his eyes. Your smile tugging at the corner of your lips. “Is this seat taken?”
“Only by you if anyone else asks,” he smoothly responds.
You gently lower yourself beside him, lifting one leg to cross it over the other, feeling the cool leather beneath you. His eyes follow your every movement, lingering on the curve of your thigh as it presses against the other. You lean in slightly, your curiosity evident in the arch of your brow. “Why all alone? With a face as pretty as yours, I’d expect someone to be all over you by now.”
He shifts his body toward you, his eyes drinking in your appearance, savoring every detail from the whip of your hair and to glitter on your legs. Meanwhile, the subtle spicy sweet scent of his cologne mingles with the ambient aromas of the club, and you can’t even breathe the air without the desire to jump his bones. Especially one in particular.
He regains his smile, a slow, confident curve of his lips, and extends a hand toward you. “I could say the same for you. I’m Seungkwan.”
You take his hand, feeling the warmth of his touch and the gentle caress of his thumb against your knuckles. With a graceful nod, you gave him a firm handshake. You return the gesture by introducing yourself, your voice smooth and inviting, matching the rhythm of the music that pulses around you, and that seems to only grow his interest. “What a pretty name. You’ve been here long?”
“Just long enough,” you say, your voice carrying a playful challenge.
“What is it that someone like you does to want to let loose in a place like this?”
“Mmh, I don’t know. It really depends on how much you’re willing to share,” you reply, narrowing your eyes and taking in that body begging to be undressed.
“Well, if you must know, I work somewhere…uncommon,” he says, leaning closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper.
You lean in too, resting your elbow on the back of the couch and propping your chin on your hand, your fingers lightly brushing your lips. “Do tell, Seungkwan.”
“Don’t be surprised, but I’m a bit of a big deal, especially around here,” he brags.
You raise an eyebrow, ready to bite. “That’s very vague. Mind elaborating?”
He briefly shifts his eyes to glance around the room, the smile never leaving his lips. He leans in closer, his breath warm and tickling against your ear, making it burn. “Just know I know the ins and outs of this club,” he whispers, his voice a tantalizing murmur. “Some information you might find even surprising that no one else knows.”
You pull back slightly, your eyes locking onto his, a spark of intrigue dancing between you. “Sounds like you’ve got some secrets,” you murmur, your voice low and rich. You reach for his drink from the table in front of you, your fingers brushing against his thigh for balance as you lift the glass to your lips. You take a slow, deliberate sip, not minding that its rim has touched a stranger's lips. “How sketchy,” you dare insult with a playful glint in your eye as you set the glass back down.
“Care to find out?”
“What part of ‘ sketchy’ did you not understand?” You softly laugh.
“I promise it’s harmless,” his voice brimming with mischief, poking the inside of his cheek playfully. “Or at least, you’d have a little fun.”
You hum amused. “Define fun.”
He takes you by the hand, his touch firm yet gentle, leading you away from the pulsating dance floor to a secluded corner of the club. The music echoes softly in the background, its bass reverberating through the walls. You follow him through a maze of dimly lit corridors and alcoves, catching glimpses of other partygoers lost in their own worlds.
The air changes as you enter an empty private space, cooler and quieter than the crowded main room. Your eyes fall on a single secluded corner with windows going ceiling to floor, flooding the room with skylight. The faint scent of his cologne lingers in the air, mixing with the faint aroma of alcohol and the crisp air of a cracked open window too high to reach.
As you settle into a seat in front of the windows, you observe the city through the crystal clear glass, drinking in the scene of small tables adorned with flickering candles, and erotic artwork adorning the walls. The music from the main floor is muted here like the world behind closed doors fell silent for this moment, and only you two are left in the room to bask in it. If temptation was room, this had to be it.
There’s a subtle shift in his eyes, a flicker of something unreadable—resembling pride—before they revert back to his calm suavity. He assumes the seat next to you on the plush velvet couch tucked into a private nook that touches the light of the stars. The soft glow of ambient lights casts a warm, intimate ambiance around you, contrasting with the pulsating beats of the club music that drifts in from the main floor.
“It’s a V.V.I.P area,” Seungkwan explains in a low voice, “Some of the employees don’t even know it exists.”
“But someone like you does?” you inquire, your voice tinged with intrigue.
He shrugs nonchalantly, a hint of pride evident in his demeanor as his body dipped into the leather. “I have my way around here.”
“Really?” you tease, growing slowly more convinced.
Seungkwan meets your gaze with a playful grin. “I obviously can’t tell you everything,” he says, his tone brimming with mischief. “Just know that I’m involved in ways that keep this place running smoothly. The club would die without me.”
You chuckle softly, savoring his playful confidence, and leaning against the cushions, head turned to him. “What can you tell me?” you ask, your voice growing softer. Your finger traces a teasing path down the collar of his shirt, undoing a button with deliberate slowness. “Humor me,” you exhale, your breath brushing against his ear and your gaze locked with his.
You can hear his breath hitch, and finally, you have him right where you want him. He fixes on the way your legs cross, tracing the curve of your calf up to where they disappear under the hem of your skirt. He seems momentarily captivated by the subtle movement of your flesh as they collide against each other, giving hardly any brain capacity to cumulate words.
You notice the furrow of his brow, a slight tilt of his head—as if he were mentally dissecting his thoughts. The dim lighting cast shadows across his face, highlighting the intensity in his eyes tried to regain clarity. You can almost visualize the gears turning in his mind, each cog clicking into place as he forms a coherent story, if any.
Each word comes out in complete shambles and he is saying more nothing than anything. Whatever the truth is at this point, you don’t care. Seungkwan is just too cute to pass up.
The clearing of his throat tells you he’s finished, the tilt of his smile growing less confident and more anxious as your weight pushes against his chest. He tries to come back from his stumble, picking off strands of hair in front of your face and playing with their ends before changing the subject. “Now tell me your work. What is so amazing that you do?”
“I’m—“ a teacher’s aid in massive debt on their way to graduating with potentially a useless degree neither of their parents is proud of because, although you love it, you’re too proud to say otherwise, “—a indie movie producer with one of the films up for a reward. Super lowkey right now, but…we got Gosling.” You shrug, impressed with your own lies. “So, things are looking up.”
“That’s quite impressive.” he hums, intrigued and interested in hearing about more. “Is he as nice in real life as he is in interviews?”
“Ryan’s got a screw or two loose, but pretty okay guy. At least not into Scientology or anything.”
“Interesting,” He gaze dips towards you, being drawn to you immensely, if not locking eyes with you, scanning over your features, particularly your lips that wished to be claimed. “You call all big-name celebrities by their first name?”
You shrug, the lying coming more and more naturally than anticipated. “Only the ones I’m close with.”
His palm hugs the curve of your cheek, thumb softly brushing against your bottom lip. “I wonder what getting close to you entails.”
“Are you planning on finding out?”
You give each other a long look, one that keeps waiting and ushering the other until your lips decidedly crash into his. His lips part, making way for your presence, the heat of the kiss flushing your skin and pleased shivers running throughout your entire body. Your breath hitches when you feel his teeth pulling your flesh and a soft sigh escapes his lips before his hand creeps behind your head and muffles a moan that neither were sure from who.
You lift your body from the couch, chasing his pace, and pull him closer, kissing him deeper with all your might. You crawl over his lap, straddling his hips, hands in his hair, breath on his skin. Your chest tightens as he presses you closer by the small of your back, to which you gasp as you part from his lips.
He finds your gaze, his round and glistening eyes meeting yours in soft urgency. “You okay? Something wrong?”
You shake your head, palm clasped against your burning face. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”
He lets out an amused scoff. “Keep up, Miss producer.”
Your lips reconnect, and fireworks play in your like it’s the fourth of July. Popping and popping. Your lip lock only intensifies as your tongues brush against one another, entangling deeper and soon you realize Seungkwan wasn’t one just to kiss with his lips.
You ball his clothes in fists when his hands use your hips, running them over his lap, the friction so tantalizing you could hear temptation like a devil on your shoulder. You let him take you, moving towards him replicating crashing waves against sand. Loud. Harsh. Seamless.
Clothes come off soon after, starting with the delicate unbuttoning of Seungkwan’s silk top–donning the torso of one fond of sports and sprayed in excitable perspiration–before then he levers you up and slides slacks down his thighs hurriedly. His bare legs crushed underneath yours, you readily pull up your dress, bunching at your waist as feel him unzip the back, the metal chill against your spine.
“Fuck,” he softly mutters, eagerly digging his fingers in your exposed flesh and whimpering against your kiss. “Don’t hold back with me.”
“Hold back?” you repeat with a chuckle, your fingers that threaded through his hair pulling his head back, angling his head so that he was forced to look up at you in what currently looks to be in awe. “You don’t have to worry about that with me.”
“Shit stirrer, huh? I guess that’s why you’re the one handling production.”
Your lips begin to trail down his jaw, front teeth nipping his skin. “Real question is, would you let me handle yours?”
“I’d let you do anything to me,” he mumbles, earnest in every word, every inch of his body vibrating off yours, including the hardening presence between his legs pressing against your stomach. “Just don’t stop.”
Your dress abandoned on the floor, Seungkwan claiming your tits in either hand, kneading them between his fingers as he’s rolling his hips against your plush flesh and feeling your radiating core slide against his shaft. He involuntarily moans through a bitten bottom lip, imagining you ride him just like this until the end of time, thinking he could cum from this alone until he feels you move the tip of his size towards your entrance. “Oh god,” he gives out, the head of his cock readily grazing over your slit, quickly pleased. “So fucking wet. Fuck…”
“I want you inside me,” you admit, not bothering to subdue your desires. “I want to put you inside me and make me feel every inch of you.”
“Fuck…me…” he presses into your skin flushed against one another, lips curled downward in impatience, gripping your full thighs to either of his sides. “I wanna fuck you so bad. Please give yourself to me.”
“You promise you’ll handle it like a good boy?” You tease, pushing his tip only a centimeter deeper.
“Please, please, anything. I just wanna feel that pussy choke me please.” He begs.
Your hand clamps against the couch enthusiastically, “Fuck you’re so needy. That’s so hot.” Gingerly, you reward his pleas, feeling his raw length make contact with your contracting walls, squeezing around his girth and making Seungkwan flip his eyes before he starts guiding your hips.
“Fuck that’s so good, baby.”
You lightly scoff. “Baby? A little soon don’t you think?”
“Thought we found some common ground when you decided for me to fuck you. My mistake,” he chides.
You catch a tendril of his hair between your fingers, “Maybe it’s how you fuck me that grants you such a term of endearment.”
“Better up my game then.” He lifts you up, tangling your legs around his waist before he pushes you on your back, swiftly slamming his hips against you.
Your head crashes deep into the leather, the musky scent of sex now invading your nose as you drown in heat. “Shit.”
“Making sure I get the advantage.” He folds forward to press against you, your breasts back in his hands before his lips wrap around a nipple, his tongue attacking your sensitivity before he inevitably sucks. He leaves you in an ache, your hips thrusting back into him conveniently in time for him to regain his rhythm.
“S-Seungkwan…”
His moan vibrates against your skin, teeth pulling your nipple as he thrusts deeper, grazing your deep end just perfectly not enough. Fucking tease.
You whine beneath him, squirming. Your legs tighten around him, attempting to make friction, and finding a growl in your throat as a hand of Seungkwan’s squeezes your behind. A whole ass cheek in the clutches of his well-groomed hands, squeezing and memorizing its swell, while he’s splitting you in half to deduce you to a bumbling horny mess.
“Where have you been all my life?” He mumbles with glee.
You clench your fists behind him as he heightens his pace, melting into the tender assault of his lips that burn your skin and silence your voice. He ruts into you deeper, pounding away his frustrations and when he makes it known he’s found your spot, you make it clear as day.
“Oh god,” you groan, gripping him tighter. Your jaw drops slack, silent screams coming out of you, and you cling to him like in desperation to maintain that high as you claw against his broad back.
“That’s so good. Is it right there, am I hitting your spot, baby?” he asks with an exhausted grin.
You nod, softly pleading for more, and he generously grants. In an attempt to intensify your core’s pleasure, his hand cups just above your slit, fingers finding your blossoming bud. Your breath is shot, feeling the caress of his thumb press down before rubbing your arousal around your clit. Your hips thrust into his touch, gripping him by the shoulders, feeling your combined sweat drip from your sides and squeaking against the couch fabric.
“Oh my god, oh my god…” You can’t control it anymore. Seungkwan isn’t just pushing you past the edge, he's shoving you off.
“Like that, baby. Yes, what good girl cumming all over my cock,” he sweetly praises.
You reach him by the back of his head and propel him forward, colliding lips in a fervent liplock. Your moans drowned between one another, your climax coming in tenfold as he didn’t for a second stop, even well after you came.
Yet, it isn’t enough. Seungkwan shifts and tugs your legs to border his torso. He lifts himself from the ground, his feet flat, shutting your legs tight, having the sweat of your thighs chafe against another unsettlingly. It then becomes completely overlooked with his hips, his cock starts pushing in and out of you, and folding himself into you with your closed legs as your pussy choked around his cock. Your walls pulsating around him, hot and lush, he death grips your body and watches your flesh recoil back against him deliciously.
“Fucking shit,” he groans, plunging deeper as your cries moisten your cheeks and he brings you to a foreign level of ecstasy.
His release from what you can tell is thick, warm, and inviting. Your legs find a mind of their own when they decide to lock the stranger in place, feel every ounce of pure pleasure shooting down inside you, coating you in your collaborative efforts, and residing peacefully deep, deep in your sore heat.
Your lover collapses against you, eyes barely managing to open as he guides your bodies in a more comfortable position, his cum and cock still inside you.
He’s softly pant, red on every inch of his face, residual from his raging orgasm and…fluster? “I…I don’t usually—“
“I don’t mind,” you gently reassure, brushing away the sweat-soaked hair from his forehead. “I wanted that to happen.”
“But what if—“
“It’s nothing you have to worry about,” you hint and fortunately he gets the clue, cuddling up to you closer.
“Good.” He nods, sounding off in relief.
You play with his ear, thumbing over the flaming red tip. “That was really good.”
The boy can’t help but grin, “I make good on my promises…and if you want, we can do it again.”
Your movement stops. “Oh.” Now you’re panicking. “I don’t think we should.”
His cock slips out of you with ease at your confession, both flaccid and disappointed as cum drips down the leather. “Why not? I thought you liked it.”
You begin sitting up, taking Seungkwan with you. “Of course I do! It’s just…my schedule doesn’t allow me to date—let alone see people outside of work—so, this wouldn’t work.” You offer him an apologetic pat on the back, feeling the muscles pulse against you before you regretfully pull away. “This is actually my last night in town, I was gonna leave soon for another shoot…but this was wonderful.”
You cup his cheek, flushed red and soft as can be, and kiss its fullness, letting your lips linger. “I’m so sorry.” For absolutely lying about everything about me when you gave me the most incredible orgasm I’ve had in centuries and to myself for cutting lose the hottest fucking man fiction and nonfiction you’ve ever fucking met.
“No, I get it,” he answers, a hint of sorrow in his gaze. “You got things going for you. That’s ok. Just let me know when you’re in town, hmm? We can get together again, maybe?”
His sense of hope is admirable, something you saw in yourself a few years ago before the toppling towers of crippling debt fell on you. “I don’t think so, handsome.”
He sighs. “Alright. I get it.”
“I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head with a knowing smile. “Don’t be.”
“You ended my vacation the best way you could’ve,” you egg on, “Couldn’t have ended my last night in town any better.”
“Yeah?” He chuckles, finally a light flickering back in his eyes. “Then maybe I can give you a parting gift.”
You raise an eyebrow, following his figure leaving your body and find his knees back in the ground and between your legs, “Seungkwan?”
“Can’t have you leave a mess.” His hand glides over your thighs, gaze flickering from you and your cunt oozing in cum, and his full lips kissing your inner thigh, tingling legs and garnering goosebumps down your shins.
“Are you actually—“
His tongue scraps on the skin just next to your lips, a mixture of your climax settling on his tongue, and you mewl at the sight. He kneads your flesh, his moans tickling your skin and admiring it how he knew how: worship.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.” His fingers play against your sensitive folds, tension pressed on your clit. “You’re everything I could want…tasting you and pleasing you is the least I could do.”
His mouth wrapped around your lips before sucking, tongue parting what’s between, and sighing at the harmonious flavor dancing inside his mouth. Your worn walls contract around him, it feeds his desire as he pushes his face deeper inside you, and melts at your hands finding hair in soft strokes.
Your voice aches for another release. The sensation of his jaw locking and nodding in your heat as his tongue fucks his cum back inside you drives you to up a wall. You squirm the faster he flicks his tongue, legs pulling back and forward, overwhelmed by Seungkwan’s mouth until he holds either one at either side, locking it around his neck.
His eyes ooze with determination and his face falls from color. The compromising position he put himself in is not one free consequence, but for the last single of the most greatest fuck of his life, losing a bit of oxygen was worth it, and his efforts are soon proven.
When you cum this time on his tongue, Seungkwan has never tasted anything sweeter, or rather bittersweet knowing this would be the last he’d get the chance to. He’s tasting you, savoring you, worshiping you. From the scent of your body, to the face you make, from what you feed him. If he knew how impossibly decadent you just were–only for you to leave–maybe he wouldn’t have done this. Or maybe he would.
Reluctantly, Seungkwan breaks apart from your lips to reconnect with another. One last shared, heated breath of this spontaneous exchange. One that he’d remember for a long time, and think about over long nights. Tenderly, your foreheads are the ones to kiss in a silent farewell, sad smiles on both your faces.
“Thank you…for reminding me what it feels like to live my own life.”
The pretty boy softly scoffs, kissing you once more, the tingle his lips lingering on yours. “Make your stories magical as you’ve made my night. Take care, Miss Producer.”
You quickly get dressed before the sexy stranger pulls you right back in his trace and you drag your friend and club attendee all the way back home, giving you the pleasure of finally resting in bed, body still aching from the sweltering sex hours ago. Sadly, without the warm body you enjoyed so much tonight. He made a lasting impression on you and you hope maybe one day on better circumstances you’ll meet again and the lie may someday be true. If you’re so lucky.
Eventually, summer takes its final laps and you’re entering the college semester and start working closely with the professor you’re aiding. The matter that your life is slowly being sucked away becomes more real the longer you look at his lesson plan and although you love writing, you know you’re about to dread the long evenings of paperwork to come.
The first day of being a TA: get in the building by the car you have barely hanging on, meet with the professor, get in lectures and “TA”, skim through your new work for graduate classes, and sadly eat your late lunch/dinner alone because you know the ziplock of trail mix marinating in your backpack would not be enough. That’s the plan. Easy to follow.
Students start trickling into the classroom about twenty minutes before actual lecture time, some with nervous faces and excited expressions. Then a few minutes before the lecture starts, hoards of students are coming through, the classroom getting louder and louder as there is not enough space for white noise. You feel your heart beating increasingly–admittedly more nervous than anticipated–finding yourself focused on papers to avoid eyes with the other students until you can’t anymore.
With over 100 students, you start to feel like an imposter, a kid playing dress-up in her mom’s closet. Normally, you're not one to get nervous on the first day, but being a teacher’s assistant makes this situation different. You’re terrified of screwing up, whether it’s a big mistake or a small one. You tell yourself you need to get out of your head.
When roll call becomes necessary, the professor hands you the clipboard, forcing you to introduce yourself and make your presence known. Your hands tremble from natural nerves as you call out the names on the list, doing your best to pronounce each one clearly and coherently. Then your gaze lands on a name all too familiar, one that’s been on the tip of your tongue before. You can’t help but look up, eager to hear the voice that responds.
He stares at you, a look of pleasant surprise on his face, his lips curling up at the corners as his eyes gleam with intrigue—just like that night before.
You clear your throat, quickly averting your gaze, and resume roll call. You decide right then to ignore him for the rest of the day, the semester, and possibly the rest of your college career, if you can help it.
When you finish, you don’t dare look up again, telling yourself it’s because it’s the first day. You’ve done everything you needed to do for now.
As the lecture wraps up, it’s time to leave. The professor dismisses the class and exits the room, leaving you to pick up the pieces and answer any lingering questions from students. You just hope this particular student isn’t one of them.
“I had a question, Miss LN.”
You’re reminded that hope is just another word for wishful thinking. You don’t need to look up to know who it is. His voice is already etched into your memory, feeding the part of you that wants to respond, and you clench your thighs at the memory.
“Sure, what… um, what is it?” you respond, still not looking up.
“It’s about the syllabus. I was hoping we could discuss it in private?” His tone carries a hint of something familiar, something that doesn’t belong between a student and a teacher’s assistant.
“The syllabus is pretty self-explanatory,” you reply, trying to keep your voice neutral, though your pulse quickens.
“But I wanted to ask, just in case I misinterpreted anything.”
You make a show of straightening the papers on your desk, the crisp shuffle loud enough to make it clear you’re not amused. “You're a writing major. I’m sure you understand everything just fine.”
“It wouldn’t hurt to check,” he says, a casual shrug masking the intent behind his words.
You sigh, knowing you won’t easily shake him off. Finally, you meet his gaze, catching the anticipation simmering in his eyes. With a resigned breath, you gather your belongings and stand. “Fine, follow me.”
As you lead him to a tucked-away corner, your footsteps echo in the quiet hallway. You glance around to ensure there are no prying eyes before stopping. He waits until you’re both out of sight before speaking, his voice lowering in that familiar way that sends a shiver down your spine. “So, how’s the indie film coming along, Miss Producer?”
Your arms cross instinctively, a barrier against the playful look on his face. His eyes sparkle with amusement, as if this is all a game to him. As if your college career and your career career didn’t hang on the very balance of this conversation and your history. “Very funny,” you reply, glaring at him. “Just two big liars caught in their own webs of lies. How serendipitous.”
He chuckles softly, the sound unnervingly familiar and instinctively arousing. “I know why I lied, but why did you?”
You plant a hand to your chest defensively. “Excuse me, I never anticipated seeing you ever again. It’s natural I’d lie—wait, why did you lie?”
“To get laid. Duh.” He answers as if it was the obvious thing in the world.
You roll your eyes, back knocking against the wall behind you. “Of course, fucking dumbass college boys.”
“You fell for it, so who’s the dumbass now?”
“Still you? Were you even drinking age?”
“Uh, yes that’s how I got in, otherwise they never would’ve let me in.”
Your palm runs over your face in embarrassment, cringing for long nights of thinking of your student of all fucking people. “I fucking knew you didn’t own the Gemstone.”
“Yet, you fucked me anyway.”
You rush towards him, your breath catching as you pin your fingers in front of your lips and hiss, “Will you shut your mouth?”
He crosses his arms, leaning back against the wall, a smug smile playing on his lips. “Why? You’re a TA, not a professor.It’s perfectly kosher.”
“It’s still highly frowned upon to fraternize in that manner, regardless of whether I’m a TA or a professor. I grade your fucking papers,” you shoot back, your eyes narrowing as the frustration rises in your chest.
He just shrugs, that infuriating grin never leaving his face. “Hey, if it gets me a good grade…”
“Or watch me fucking fail you,” you snap, stepping even closer, your voice low and dangerous. “Don’t you ever speak a word about that night again, got it?”
His smile falters slightly, but he quickly recovers, raising his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright, geez.”
“Good.”
But he can’t resist one last jab, his voice dropping to a teasing whisper. “My lips—and pants—are sealed.”
“Seungkwan!” You hiss his name, barely keeping your voice down, your cheeks flushing with a mix of anger and something else you refuse to acknowledge.
He chuckles, clearly enjoying himself. “Oh, it’s been a while since you screamed my name.”
You grit your teeth and speak through harsh whispers, your patience wearing thin.
“I will drop-kick you if you don’t shut the fuck up.”
He grins wider, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he leans in just a fraction. “Like I said, I keep my promises. See you on Wednesday, Miss TA.”
With that, he turns and walks away, leaving you standing there, seething, the echo of his footsteps fading down the hallway. The air still buzzes with the tension between you, and you take a moment to collect yourself before heading back, wondering how you’re going to survive the rest of the semester with him in your class. If all your encounters are like this, you might as well quit now.
As expected, that initial confrontation isn’t the last you see of Seungkwan. While being your student, your forced interactions have become a bit of a spectacle among other students, especially considering Seungkwan stares back at you every lecture like you’re the only two people in the room. His routine of pestering during and after lectures has become something his peers have look forward to and you wonder if this kind of thing is normal for a teacher’s assistant.
It seems to have stirred up varying opinions, even among students from other classes—ones far removed from your department, who typically wouldn’t give a second thought to your work. The rumors have even reached the ears of other TAs, the ones you’ve built strong camaraderie with, turning casual conversations into whispered speculations. Some of those speculations have been harmless, fueled by curiosity and mild intrigue. But others? They’ve taken on more confrontational, and their tense gazes have you questioning just how far these rumors have gone.
But is it really a rumor if its all true?
"So, you and that Seungkwan kid, what's that about?"
You give a grand sigh, the weight of your colleague's curiosity pressing down on you as he peers at you, eyes alight with nosy mischief. His intent is clear—he's fishing for details about your relationship with one of your many students. But Seungkwan is different. Far different, even if you’d never admit that aloud knowing how your reputation would stand.
"Really not your business, bud," you reply, trying to keep your tone light, though it’s hard to miss the edge beneath your words.
Your colleague, Soobin, raises an eyebrow, completely unfazed by your attempt to shut him down. "Funny enough, I’m in the business of making things my business."
You scoff, fingers curling tightly around the handle of your freshly brewed coffee, the warmth of the cup your only source of comfort in this conversation. The rich aroma wafts up, offering a brief distraction. "He's my student, obviously, and he’s going to stay that way."
The words come out sharper than intended, the finality of your tone surprising even you. You take a long sip of the coffee, letting the bitterness anchor you. This conversation is tiptoeing too close to a line you’re not ready to cross.
Soobin raises his hands in mock surrender, though there’s a knowing glint in his eyes. "Okay, okay. No need to be so defensive. Good thing you’re keeping it professional."
"I know that. Why are you mansplaining, Soobin? Don’t you have work to do?"
"Of course. Just wanted to point out—it’d be a real problem if you did."
"Uh, yeah. Obviously."
"Good."
"Good."
"I just wouldn’t want to lose anything over it."
You narrow your eyes at him. "What now?"
He hesitates before continuing, grinning sheepishly. "Okay, okay. There might be a bet going around about whether or not you and that kid sleep together again."
"What the—again? Again? What are you talking about?" You gape at him, incredulity painting your features as you struggle to process his words.
"Oh, come on, don’t play dumb," Soobin says with an exaggerated sigh, rolling his eyes. "Everyone knows."
You blink, your mind racing to catch up. "…Everyone?"
"Everyone." He nods emphatically, the corners of his mouth twitching as he takes in your stunned reaction.
Your face falls, and you run a hand through your hair in frustration, your shoulders slumping. "Well, fuck." The words escape you like a dismayed exhale, your voice tinged with disbelief.
"And I bet that you wouldn’t. At least, not until the end of the semester."
"You bet money on me?" You’re seething, anger now directed at him.
"Not money," Soobin says quickly, raising his hands in a defensive gesture, as if to ward off any further criticism. He leans in slightly, his tone taking on a pleading edge. "But seriously, just don’t do it, okay? Be a good TA and a good friend. Don’t sleep with the boy. Just... don't."
You glare at him, incredulous. "I oughta do it just to make you lose."
"Please don’t! It wasn’t money I bet!"
You narrow your eyes further. "What did you bet, then?"
Soobin shifts uncomfortably. "Just... test answers."
"Soobin."
"Please! Just help me win this. I’m begging you!" Soobin’s voice is desperate, his eyes wide and pleading.
“You could jeopardize your scholarships with this kind of bet.”
“So don’t let me lose this one!” His frustration is palpable, his hands clasped together as if in prayer.
“I could just hit you,” you threaten, though the words come out more resigned than menacing.
“But I’m so lovely. Don’t you think?” Soobin’s attempt at levity falls flat, his forced grin barely concealing his anxiety.
“Soobin, this is seriously messed up.”
He continues, undeterred, “The money I could win could buy me a new apartment to rent out. I’d finally be able to move off-campus.”
“This is so fucked up,” you mutter, shaking your head in disbelief.
“I know, I’m literally on my knees here, dude,” Soobin says, lowering himself as if pleading for mercy.
You run a hand through your hair, trying to stave off the growing irritation. “Fine, damn it. Okay. I hope you’ve fucking learned your lesson and won’t pull this kind of stunt again.”
You meet his gaze head-on, your patience visibly thinning. "Are we done here?"
He nods vigorously, a small, almost imperceptible smile of relief tugging at the corners of his lips. "Of course."
As Soobin walks away, you watch him go, the remnants of the conversation hanging in the air like the fading scent of coffee. You take another sip of your drink, this time more deliberately, letting the warmth seep into you. You try to channel your remaining energy into something productive, determined to salvage what’s left of your day. The knowledge of the bet and the weight of your friend’s reputation hanging in the balance makes every decision weigh heavy on your shoulders.
Despite the sprawling campus and the vast number of students, gossip is as vibrant and pervasive as ever. Seungkwan doesn’t help matters, especially with the frequent discussions you’re having about his late assignments. No matter how stern and resolute your tone becomes, he meets you with a gaze that’s both wistful and enigmatic. His eyes, filled with a mix of wonder and intrigue, follow your every movement. They start by meeting yours directly, then drift downward, lingering on your face, then lower, then lower, and finally–
"Are you paying attention, Seungkwan? Or am I going to have to talk to Professor Yoon about you finally dropping the class?"
Seungkwan leans against the auditorium chairs, averting his attention to the sharp expression on your face, a smug smile tugging at his lips. "No, nothing of the sort, Miss TA. Please, continue to lecture me about what an awful student I am."
Your eyes narrow as you cross your arms, forward on your desk, tapping your foot with growing impatience as you shuffle through to gather your belongings. "I will—and starting where your assignments have been showing up several days late. I can’t keep making exceptions for you."
"Why not? You’re so good at making me feel special," he teases, head tilted, his voice dripping with a sultry sarcasm.
Your patience snaps as you sharply tap the stack of aligned papers on the desk, the sound echoing through the room. "Stop it, will you? Your grade is sinking fast, and at this rate, you’ll be repeating the class."
He shrugs, that maddening grin still in place. "Would that really be so bad? You’d get a whole new semester with me."
You scoff, standing upright, pacing a few steps as frustration simmers just beneath the surface. "Are you seriously going to waste your tuition money just to fail? At least pretend to make an effort. Chatgpt exists for students like you I’m assuming."
He tilts his head slightly, eyes gleaming with mischief. "If only someone wasn’t so distracting, maybe I could. You’d understand, Miss TA."
You stop mid-step, spinning to face him, your voice sharp. "Enough. And stop calling me that—it’s like you get off on it."
"Oh, I do." The playful tone in his voice is laced with something else now, something heavier.
Your jaw clenches, heat rising to your face, thighs sealed against one another.. "Your assignments. On time. By the end of this week, or I’ll recommend to Professor Yoon that you drop the class."
"Fine," he mutters, his tone nonchalant, the smirk still lingering lazily on his lips as he halfheartedly stuffs his books into his bag. His movements are careless, and a few sheets of notebook paper slip out, drifting lazily to the floor without him even noticing.
You sigh, bending down to pick them up. As you straighten, your eyes unintentionally flick over the handwritten lines—only for something to catch your attention. You freeze, blinking at the words on the page. "What the...?"
Seungkwan’s demeanor changes in an instant. His eyes widen, and he lunges forward, panic flashing across his face. "Don’t read that!" His voice is more urgent, almost desperate.
But you dodge his grasp, holding the paper just out of reach, your brow furrowing. "What is this? And why is it actually... interesting?"
"Give it back," he says, his tone softer, pleading now.
"Why don’t you put this much effort into your assignments?" you ask, glancing up at him, your curiosity overtaking your frustration.
Before you can react, Seungkwan steps closer, his movements more deliberate this time. He snatches the paper from your hands, but his proximity catches you off guard. He’s standing close—too close—backing you into the edge of your desk. His face is flushed, his breath coming in shallow bursts, and you can see the embarrassment in his narrowed eyes, the tips of his ears burning red.
Your heart stutters in your chest, your breath hitching as the space between you seems to shrink. The air feels thick, charged with something you know too fucking well. For a moment, neither of you moves, your eyes locked like you’re frozen. You’re acutely aware of every small detail—the way his fingers clutch the paper tightly, how his chest rises and falls with each breath, the warmth radiating from him as he towers just slightly over you.
Suddenly, he stumbles, his foot catching on the leg of the desk, and you gasp as his weight nearly knocks you backward. Your hands shoot out, gripping the edge of the desk to steady yourself. Your glasses slip down your nose as you blink up at him, your pulse quickening, his face inches from yours.
"Sorry," Seungkwan mutters, quickly pulling away, flustered as he hurriedly gathers the fallen papers, stuffing them into his bag. "I’ll do the assignments. Just... don’t fail me. And don’t repeat whatever you think you read."
Without waiting for your reply, he storms out of the room, leaving you standing there, your chest heaving, the ghost of his presence lingering in the suddenly too-quiet space.
You try to steady your breath, ignoring how ragged it had become, and the unsettling way your blood pulsed—not just through your heart, but in places you'd rather not acknowledge. You forcefully push those thoughts aside, desperate for any distraction. Tonight, that distraction would be class assignments.
With an iced coffee marinating at the corner of your office desk, the papers in front of you blur as his face flashes through your head. You can’t help but recall the way his lips looked—full and slightly parted, the way his eyes gleamed with a mix of defiance and something else entirely. And the warmth of him—how heavy and undeniably right he felt as he leaned over you, his presence lingering even after he was gone.
You shake your head, determined to refocus on grading, gripping the red pen a little tighter. But your mind drifts again, this time to the words you’d glimpsed on that crumpled page. The writing had a familiarity to it, something deeply personal that tugged at the corners of your mind. Reminding you of how much you remembered that night. Specifically how good that night felt.
‘Her whispers, haunting, breath heavy. She gazes at me with eyes full of want, strands of hair falling over her forehead, tantalizing and wild. Her cheek is warm beneath my hand as I pull her closer, our lips meeting, tasting the sweetness of something long desired but never claimed. For this night, she is mine—even if it's only for this night alone.’
Your cheeks flush as the memory hits, the realization settling in with a mix of shock and something you can't quite name. The words were unmistakable—vivid, intimate, dripping with a desire that mirrored the tension between you two. You recognized the inspiration behind them immediately.
He’s writing his own fanfiction. And it’s about you.
Suddenly, you’re not so much thinking about the bet Soonbin warned you about.
#svthub#thediamondlifenetwork#seungkwan smut#boo seungkwan smut#seventeen smut#boo seungkwan#seungkwan#seventeen#seungkwan fanfic#boo seungkwan x you#boo seungkwan x reader#boo seungkwan x y/n#seventeen fanfic#seungkwan x y/n#seungkwan x you#seungkwan x reader#seventeen x reader
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valentines gone wrong ft. childe, scara, and neuvilette
a/n: yes. you read that right valentines work on september!! this is just something random i wanna write one day when i'm lying down and ofc i can't wait until february next year (also how is it alr almost 2 months since i posted something???) tags: just fluff, light-read, and everything in-between, modern au (?) just don't think too much abt it hehe - summary: it's valentines and of course you have plans to give sweets to your lover. however because one thing and another, you had to entrust it to someone else in hope it will be handed safely to them. what happened when it didn't?
childe
you went home excited, anticipating his reaction to your handmade sweets, however what greets you at the door was a sulky childe, who avoided eye contact as if his life depended on it as he limits himself to a a sentence everytime you ask him something.
“something happened today, babe?” you asked him worriedly, the chocolate was the back of your mind seeing the state of your boyfriend in. “oh something definitely should have happened,” he quipped, his lower mouth sticking out slightly. “that sounds like a dig at me, did i forgot something?” you asked as you follow his gaze to what he thought must be the most interesting flower vase ever. he shrugged, refusing to give you more.
frustrated by his rejection to tell you what’s wrong, you held his face with both of your palm, turning his face to yours. although the move met no resistance, childe still refused to look at you in the eyes and only now his childish grumbles turned into such a sad expression.
“baby? please tell me what i did,” you were gentle with it, rubbing your thumb below his eyes. “...late.”
“what?”
“chocolate. where’s mine? i saw you gave your friends one so i don’t think im crazy to expect one too, especially as your boyfriend.” he pouted and you swore it looked so adorable and so out-of-character of him that you wanted to kiss him—wait.
“huh? but i did give you one!” you claimed, confusion rose inside you. “huh? but i didn’t get it...” childe’s face matched your expression. “well technically i gave it to scara to give it to you.. did he not... give it to you?”
“i wouldn’t be this insufferable if i got one, you know that, but no he didn’t say anything—and also really babe? scara? the guy who hates and made fun of me every chance he got?” he crossed his arm, raising an eyebrow, as he questioned your questionable decision-making. “hey give me a break, i was in a rush there thinking i couldn’t give you the chocolate in time. and he made me say please three times before he said he would consider doing it-oh i see how i was wrong there.” your line of ramble humbled you, the silence was loud.
“maybe he just put it in your bag or something?” you offered. “you really think he’s someone who’d do that?” he asked. “in desperate times i’d give even scara the benefit of the doubt,” you stated, opening childe’s bag. and there it was, put nicely at the very top, your chocolate for your lover.
you smiled, for all the shit-talk scara gave everyone on a daily basis you knew you could count on him. “see? i knew he’s actually a big softie for stuff like this.”
childe practically runs to your side. “my chocolate? aw babe so you really didn’t forget me!” he peppered kisses all over your face, then clasping the sweet to his chest like it’s a new-born baby. “of course i’d never. but maybe next year i’ll just give it directly to you.”
“yeah? please do, today’s event just wasn’t great for my heart.”
neuvilette
“welcome home, dear.” you greeted him cheerily as he just arrived home. it was quite late, and you had entrust the chocolate you were supposed to give to him at a reasonable hour so he could enjoy it instead of giving it to him at home.
he kissed your temple in return, a smile you’re still head over heels for on his lips. but it doesnt quite reach his eyes.
“what’s wrong?” you asked carefully. “nothing is wrong,” he replied, somehow looking nervous. “yet it’s strange for you to be looking so fidgety. tell me?”
“well,” he paused a little, stroking your hair as he pondered the best way to approach the sentence he’s about to say. “i saw you today giving chocolates to navia and wriothesley.. i couldn’t talk to you because i was in a rush to deal with an urgent case,” he said, not looking at you on the eyes. “oh, did that bother you? it’s just they’re such good friends of mine and it’s only friendship cookies-“
“no, dear of course not. i know you’re a loving person who always appreciate those around you, it’s just..”
“just?”
neuvilette looked like he didn’t hear the rest of the words after that you did make some for the white-haired male. a smile bloomed on his face as he shook his head. “no problem i will ask them about it tomorrow. i’m just delighted you kept me in your thoughts.” a gentle expression was loyal on his features. “well of course neuvillete, you hardly ever leave my thoughts, don’t you know?” he chuckled. “i’m familiar with that you see, considering you never leave mine as well.”
the next sentence was almost audible as he spoke. “do i not get one..?” he asked ever so softly sounding a little sad, his calloused hand ran across your arm, tracing along your vein as it touched your fingers and you're sure there's something wrong in your head because all you could think about that second was how adorable the usual charismatic man was being. yet you held your smile.
“of course you do! did it not reach you? i asked the guard in front of your door because i afraid i’d bother you at work hours. sorry neuvilette, i promised i made some for you, and i was so proud of it too...”
scara
“no i’m not.” he said, with the worst frown you’ve seen on him for a while and that’s saying a lot.
“you’re definitely sulking,” you said. “shut up,” he grumbled. “hey i was supposed to be one who’s doing the sulking. we’re nearing the end of the day and you haven’t even mentioned about the chocolate i gave you today!” you retorted out of frustration but most of all confusion because you had no idea what made your lover fall into such a bad mood.
“what.”
“what?”
“say that again,” scara said, “that i gave you chocolate?” you asked. “no you didn’t, you liar!” he complained, his frown deepened if that’s even possible. “wait what? i swear i asked childe to give it to you earlier today! i was ambushed by customers today at the shop so i was scared i couldn’t give it to you on time so i asked him. did it not get to you?” you explained.
“i came home empty-handed didn’t i? also really, that dense fool?” his displeasure was obvious upon the new information you couldn’t help but chuckle slightly. “don’t look so disgusted, he’s not that bad.”
“sure, although you know what’s bad? that i don’t have my chocolates right now.” he crossed his arm, fuming almost looking like a child who got their toys taken. “alright enough of your pouting. we’ll interogate him later. for now, i seem to have leftover ingredients, i’ll make you a new one.” you approached him, combing through the back of his hair as you planted a gentle kiss on his cheek. he replied by pulling you closer as he nuzzled into your neck. “it better be good,” he mumbled.
at the end you didn’t even make it to 5 minutes before scara followed you to the kitchen, insisting that he made it together too because he was ‘watching over you so you don’t mess up’ but personally i think he just felt bad because you need to make a new one and wanted to help you any way he can. that’s something he’d never admit even if there’s a gun pointing at his head, though.
#genshin x reader#genshin scenarios#genshin impact x you#genshin impact x reader#genshin fanfic#genshin x you#genshin fluff#childe x reader#tartaglia x reader#tartaglia x y/n#tartaglia x you#neuvilette x reader#scara x reader#scaramouche x reader#wanderer x reader#wanderer fluff
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the brie
buttercup, chapter two
a/n: i was originally gonna go into more detail and dive into and actually write the traumatic moments, but i decided to go a little bit more easy on myself, just focus mostly on the healing part and regaining the good.
summary: “well, we’re going out to our usual watering hole, or it’s not just us, Karen, who works with us, is also tagging along. Would you wanna join? Might be fun… might tear the city up, dance all night and watch the sunrise or whatever kids do these days.”
warnings: matt murdock x baker!reader, neighbours to lovers, rape recovery, ptsd, wingman foggy, reference to croissant theft, alcohol consumption, drunk munching on cheese, kissing, crying, retelling of trauma (if it gets too much for you, then please feel free to just skip the last part of this chapter)
word count: 4978
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Scooping one divided lump of dough closer with the bench scraper in your grasp, you put it down before first folding the bottom of the blob over itself, then the sides and then stretched the top down as well before you rolled it all up to create that much more tension in the loaf. As you plopped the soft mass into one of the nearby dusted bannetons, nippily pinching the seam and giving it a few stitches, the ingrained dance only kept on as your fingers moved on to shape the next loaf of sourdough.
To your left, not at the central table where you worked, stood your uncle Howard, a piping bag of vanilla-flaked cream in his grasp as his rotund frame bent over rows and rows of delicate, flaky little pastries, filling the sunken centre up before he could top them off with little chunks of crimson berries.
“Are you alright, cupcake?” you glanced up to see Walter leaning against the doorframe that led directly behind the counter, “you look like you’re about to nosedive into the dough and use it as a pillow.”
“I’m alright, just didn’t sleep much last night,” you blinked back down at your work, noting how your weary eyes stung slightly from the lack of rest, “I had a nightmare that was really, really not fun, and immediately when I woke up I started crying and shaking, like instant panic attack, so I couldn’t really fall asleep again after that,” you glanced back up at him and offered a tight-lipped smile.
“Oh, I’m so sorry.”
“I just don’t get why it has to feel so real,” you let your hands halt their waltz as you shared, Howard too glancing over in your direction, “why my body needs to remember it so vividly when I fall asleep. It hasn’t forgotten it while I’m awake, so I don’t feel like I need the reminders… sorry…”
“Don’t apologise, it’s–…” instead of uttering the painful truth, Walter instead let a heavy sigh flow and offered, “…do you want me to make you a cup of coffee? Maybe that could be nice, just a little bit?”
“Yeah,” you exhaled, “thanks,” before clapping the worst of the flour off your hands, briefly wiping them against the chocolate brown apron that partially covered your t-shirt and jeans, and wandered around the table, shadowing Walter as he fiddled with the espresso machine, making it hum and puff, till he handed you a steaming mug that had a little heart in the frothy foam floating on the top.
“Here you go.”
Bringing it up to your lips, you offered him a genuine smile, “thank you, Walt.”
Staying behind the counter as Walter disappeared into the back, the chime of the small bell above the door brought your attention to the pair that then strolled in. Setting down your latte and expecting it to be just any other customer, your eyes instead went wide as you saw who it was.
“Heya, neighbour!”
“Y/n, hi,” Matthew smiled as both he and the floppy-haired man beside him came to a stop on the other side of the stocked display case, “uh, Y/n, this is my friend Foggy Nelson,” he gestured to the friendly looking fellow, “Foggy, this is my new neighbour Y/n.”
“The pastry goddess!” Foggy exclaimed excitedly, “I bow to the.”
“Goddess?” you giggled, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks as you glanced over at Matt, secretly in hopes that he’d gotten that nickname from him, “oh, I don’t know about that. My uncle’s the one who oversees most of the pastries. He studied in Paris back in the 70’s, so in other words he’s a bit of a control freak. But, he is getting better! Slowly letting me take care of more things that I’m more than capable of doing… I’m talking a lot, aren’t I?” you sucked in a sharp breath as you noticed
your rambling, “I’ll shut up. The point was just that he is the one who makes most of the pastries here, not me. He’s the goddess.”
“Well, I tasted one of your croissants the other day–”
“Actually,” Matt raised a hand and interrupted his friend, “you stole it.”
“I did not–”
“You came over and I turned away for two seconds and the next thing I knew you’d obliterated the entire bag.”
“That sounds more like your problem,” Foggy joked, managing to keep a straight face as Matt chuckled, “you’ve known me how many years now? You should know not to trust me with baked goods unless you mean for me to enjoy them,” turning his attention back to you, he leaned his folded arms against the tall section of the counter, “anyways, Y/n, that croissant was properly one of the best things I’ve ever tasted.”
“Really?” your face lit up with a bright grin.
“Yes, it was so buttery and flaky and urgh!”
“Well, if you liked that, you might like today’s special…” your feet began to carry you further to the left to the very far side of the counter.
“Oh, please do tell me,” he followed along like a magnet.
Pointing down to the pastry row on the other side of the glass, you explained, “it is this rhubarb danish that also has a little base of pastry cream at the bottom to balance out the tart compote.”
“Oh… my… god…” Foggy nearly salivated, his hypnotised gaze never straying from the treat, “you gotta be some angel sent from above.”
Busting out a laugh, you grabbed a brown paper bag, “should I take that as confirmation?”
“Yes, please,” he nodded as you plucked one up with a set of tongs.
“Will that be all?”
“I don’t know if it ever can be all, but slowly but surely I’ll get through your spread, and that is a promise,” Foggy accepted the bag into his waiting fingers, “but for now, yeah.”
“Matt, do you want anything?” you asked, feeling the flutter of butterflies wake up within your stomach as you returned your attention to him, “do you want me to describe the options for you?”
“No, I’ll just have the same as Foggy, as well as–, do you sell coffee?”
“Oh,” the scent wafting off your half-empty mug probably caught his attention, “yes, we do.”
“Then I’ll have a cup as well.”
“Oh, one for me too,” Foggy interjected. When you’d packed up another pastry and filled up two to-go cups, the shaggy-haired man pipped up as they were paying, “hey, what are you doing later tonight?”
“Uh, I don’t know. Properly just head home and rewatch some series for the billionth time,” you said, putting the cash they’d handed you away in the register, “why?”
“Well, we’re going out to our usual watering hole, or it’s not just us, Karen, who works with us, is also tagging along. Would you wanna join? Might be fun… might tear the city up, dance all night and watch the sunrise or whatever kids do these days.”
A laugh then rumbled within Matt’s chest, “we’re not gonna go dancing, Foggy.”
“You never know,” Foggy sang, “I’ve got moves like you wouldn’t believe!” he snuck a small sip of his steaming coffee before meeting your eye, “so, Y/n! Please tell me you’re coming?”
“…and then Karen was like what’s that? Turns out a giant piece of glass had stabbed my side,” Foggy clutched onto his drink as he told his dramatic tale, “I nearly died.”
Cutting her sip of beer short, the golden-haired woman sitting beside him at the round bar table objected, “you did not nearly die.”
“Oh yeah?” Foggy squinted light-heartedly back at Karen, “says the person who barely got a scratch. I single handily rescued both you and Mrs. C from that building and got a sick ass scar to prove it.”
Their voices faded away like grown-ups in a Saturday morning cartoon as you glanced back down at your drink and let the radiating heat of the man next to you seep into your bones. As your fingers brushed down the sides of the glass and played with the condensation, Matt suddenly reached out for his own, though in his search for the stout glass that stood ever so close to your own, his touch briefly grazed against your skin. But if that wasn’t enough to spike your heart rate, when his long fingers enveloped his short glass, the back of his hand pressed up against yours at the proximity.
You weren’t sure how long it persisted before he raised his dark drink up to his lips, but it didn’t seem like he was in a rush to let the contact fade. Your breath managed to grow ragged in the chunk of time you got to stare down at his hand, it looking so massive up against yours. Though the light in the dingy bar was low, you could still manage to make out the dizzying pattern of prominent veins that cascaded off the back of his hand like a calm rainfall rolling down a windowpane.
For a moment there, assisted by the few drinks in your system, you let yourself dream, just for a little while, just until Foggy’s voice cut through your haze and stirred you from your fantasy.
“… I mean, am I right? I’m right. Come on, Y/n, back me up here!”
“Huh? I’m sorry, uhm…” you blinked, in some ways feeling more drunk than you had a minute ago, “wha–what did you say?”
As Foggy then began to explain what you’d missed, Matt leaned down close to your ear and whispered, his hot breath tickling your skin and causing goosebumps to erupt.
“You okay?”
“Mhm,” you hummed fuzzily.
“You sure?”
“Yeah,” you glanced down and noticed how rapidly your chest was rising and falling.
“Do you wanna go home? I can walk with you if you want,” he offered quietly.
“Uhm…” you blinked up at him before uttering, “sure, but I don’t wanna end your night before you want to.”
“No, you’re not,” he reassured you, “I’m ready to go home myself.”
“Alright then,” you nodded before Matt turned to the others.
“Guys, we’re gonna head home.”
“No!” Foggy boomed, “really?”
Throwing her hands up, Karen added, “but we haven’t even gone dancing yet!”
“Sorry,” Matt got up from his tall stool, “another night.”
“Thanks for inviting me,” you tugged your jacket back on, “I had a lot of fun.”
To your surprise, they both got up and hugged you in return.
“Thank you for coming!” Karen gave you a tight squeeze before Foggy took over.
“And we’ll be seeing you for the next one, right?”
“Uh, sure,” you gave his back a light pat, “if I have time and stuff the day that it happens, then I’d love to tag along.”
Casting his glance upon the other lawyer, “bye, Matt,” Foggy then yanked him into an embrace, “I love you, you know that?”
“Yeah,” Matt chuckled, clapping his friend’s spine, “I know, buddy.”
“You love me too, right?” Foggy pulled back, though still kept his hands fast on Matt’s broad shoulders, “don’t leave me hanging, it’s bad for a man’s health.”
“Foggy, I started a firm with you. Of course, I love you,” Matt smiled back at his sloshed pal, “good night.”
“Night, night,” Foggy patted his scruffy cheek before letting him out of his gasp, though adding as you turned to exit the bar, “night, Y/n! I love you too! I just met you today, but I love you!”
Soft giggles bubbled out of you as the door slammed shut behind you.
“So, those are your friends...” you smiled into the night, “I like them. They’re nice.”
“Yeah,” the corners of Matt’s lips turned further up till dimples bloomed, “they’re good eggs.”
As the two of you began to move along, the silence didn’t last very long at all.
“This is really nice of you, walking me home like this,” you uttered, “I know it’s just because we’re neighbours and headed in the same direction, but–”
“It’s not.”
“What?” your eyes found him.
“It’s not because we’re neighbours. It’s just, you know, the decent thing to do.”
“Right,” you exhaled, casting your glance back down onto the sidewalk as you momentarily got your hopes up.
“And you know how this city can be,” Matt went on, “it’s not smart for anyone to walk alone at night.”
“Yeah,” you nodded, trying to keep your tone nonchalant, “of course.”
When a street then appeared before you, slicing the path you journeyed on, and even though there wasn’t any traffic in sight, your hand still instinctively shot down to grasp Matt’s forearm before the two of you could cross.
Realising what you’d done, you quietly muttered, “sorry,” though couldn’t find the strength to withdraw your touch just yet.
“It’s okay,” his low voice slid from his lips like silk.
“I just didn’t want you to walk straight out into ongoing traffic...” you tore your gaze away from him and forced yourself to look at the road before you, “but there aren’t any right now, so we can cross the street…”
Guiding his palm up to the curve of your elbow, he accepted the gentle aid as you began to cross the lane.
Once you’d reached the other side and his grasp slowly began to drift back down. When his palm reached the height of your own, you softly caught it before timidly testing, “…do you mind if we–…”
“Hold hands?” with a gentle smile, he filled in before you might wonder if he could even sense your shy touch at all.
“Yeah…”
“No,” you felt him weave his fingers with your own, “not at all.”
His touch somehow felt even better than you’d imagined. Though surprisingly gruff, with harsh calluses all throughout, he cradled your palm with such care, like he’d held it a thousand times before, occasionally swiping his broad thumb over your knuckles, presumably just a subconscious gesture from his end that still caused shivers to trickle down your spine every time he did so.
You wanted the latter part of your walk home to last forever, engulfed in the comfortable silence of endless possibilities. But alas, when you did reach your building’s front door and then climbed the steps all the way up to your respective apartments, you couldn’t get yourself to let go just yet.
“Are you hungry? Because I kinda am,” you weren’t really, but anything to just stretch the night a little longer, “or maybe it’s just my subconscious taking care of me and lessening my hangover by giving me a sudden craving for cheese.”
“I don’t think I have any cheese.”
“I do,” you said maybe a bit too fast, “do you want some?”
Exhaling lowly, a soft smile twitched at his lips as he then uttered, “sure.”
As you unlocked your door, you finally let go of his hand, “make yourself at home!” you placed your keys down on the slender entry table before kicking your shoes off and peeling off your coat, hanging it up on the row of hooks, “oh, do you want me to, uh, describe the layout for you? Or just plant your down on the couch?”
“Just tell me the direction and I think I’ll be fine.”
Facing him, you haphazardly explained, “alright, the hallway goes on for a few steps and then it’s to your right–, no, wait, my right, that’s your left. It’s to your left.”
Whirling around, you delved deeper into your home till you reached the kitchen. Ripping open the fridge, you snatched up a block of half-eaten cheese before seizing a clean butter knife from the dishrack and a roll of seedy crackers from a cupboard.
Matt was already comfortable on your sage couch as you laid the humble spread out on the coffee table and joined him.
“I hope you like brie because that’s what I got. Unless you want a single slice of american cheese, then this is all the cheese I have to offer.”
“Brie it is then,” he relaxed into the cushions as you unwrapped the snack.
“Here, let me make you a bite,” slicing off bits of soft cheese, you spread it both on a cracker for him and one for you. Gently picking up his hand to place his snack in his palm, you then popped your own in your mouth and nearly melted into the couch next to him, “yep… that’s the spot…” you grinned hazily out the tall windows at the night sky as you chewed, “there’s just something about eating cheese when the moon is out that’s just so right in a way I can’t describe…”
Your murmuring conjured a light chuckle to rumble within Matt, one that swayed your gaze to train on him. Resting your head against the back of the couch, you watched as the moonlight reflected in his tinted glasses.
When the silence stretched on, Matt eventually cocked his head, “…what?”
Not tearing your eyes off of him, you breathed, “nothing…”
“You’re quiet,” his dark brows furrowed gently, “what’s going on?”
“Nothing,” you repeated, feeling almost like you were floating in a calm sea.
“You tired? Do you want me to go so that you can go to bed?”
“No, please don’t, I–…” you reached out and grazed his arm, “could–… do you want to go?”
Letting his body relax once more, he breathed, “not particularly…”
Gazing up at him, your bottom lip snuck its way in between your teeth, “Matt…”
“Yeah?”
“You–… you’re–… I–…” your pulse pounded in your ears.
“Mhm?”
“I really, really wanna kiss you right now…” you uttered thickly before you had the chance to chicken out. Like a wave crashing a shore, you didn’t even think as you let yourself dive in and press your lips to his. The kiss however didn’t last too long as you swiftly drew back as soon as your brain turned back on and you realised what you’d done, an apology hastily rushing out of your lungs, “Oh my god… I am so sorry.”
“Y/n,” hearing your name on his silky tongue did not help matters.
“I didn’t mean to just–”
“Y/n,” he repeated, trying to cut through your fog.
“We can just forget any of that ever happened, I totally get it if you don’t–”
As he brought his hands up to cradle the sides of your face, your nervous ramble fell short. When he ghosted his thumb across your cheekbone, you swore that you stopped breathing entirely.
“…can I kiss you?” he slowly asked, leaving you utterly dazed.
“W-what?”
Drawing in a breath, he repeated for you, “can I kiss you, Y/n?”
Blinking back at him, you hazily hummed, “mhm,” before he leaned in and brushed his lips against your own. The kiss was soft, just as your shoddy attempt had been, but it made your limbs feel like they morphed into jelly. When the pecks soon departed, you filled your lungs with a shaky breath as you gazed back at him in total awe, “holy shit…” only staying there a moment before you had to have another taste.
Slowly growing more confident, the intoxicating kiss gradually grew more hungry. When his fingers then weaved into your hair, you realised that up till now he’d been holding himself back, gatekeeping a kiss that caused your frame to crawl into his lap, starving for more. Your little whimpers vibrated against his tongue as he danced it against yours, growing dizzy as you melted into the heart-stopping sensation.
But suddenly a tormenting flash stabbed your being, and you abruptly tilted your lips away from his, breathlessly uttering, “wait, wait, there’s-, there’s-, uh…”
“What,” he breathed thickly, nose grazing yours before you retracted further, “are you okay?”
“I’m…” carefully crawling off his lap, you kept going till you were a safe distance away on your own side of the couch, “Matt, there’s something I need to–, uhm, tell you…”
Staying silent, he patiently waited as you gathered up the courage needed to jump off the cliff and tell him.
Casting your gaze up to the tall and dark ceilings above, you felt your limbs begin to tremble, “okay, alright… I have no idea how to, uh, say this, so I’m just gonna do it,” and like a band-aid, you uttered, “I-, I was raped,” your eyes squeezed shut, not daring to risk glancing at his reaction, “a little over a year ago… and I haven’t–, uhm, done or tried anything with anyone since… so yeah, I just thought that was a good thing for you to know since even though I hope for there not to be any problems, I just don’t know, I don’t know what it will be like for me, if my body will suddenly freak out, but I just wanted to tell you so that in case something does happens, that you know not to automatically take it personally...” drawing in a shaky breath, you fluttered your gaze open and waited for his response, “Matt?”
“Yeah?” he answered carefully.
“Please don’t say that I’m scaring you away right now…” you shifted your position, turning to face him once more.
“You’re not, you’re not,” his head softly shook from side to side, “I just–… I really, really sorry.”
“Yeah…” you exhaled slowly, feeling tears sting the corners of your eyes, “me too…” staring at him a moment, you then bared your all and uttered, “I really like you, Matt,” a faint smile accompanied the declaration, “I think you might be the only guy in all of New York that I’m not scared of,” every other man you could think of had all had at least a second, a little flicker, of something that over the past year had terrified you, “and I don’t want you to think that I’m made of glass, that’s not what I want, that’s not why I’m telling you this. Please trust me when I say that I want to, I wanna do–…” a weighty exhale flowed from your lungs as your lips remembered his taste, “I wanna do everything with you… if–, if that’s something you’d like as well… but if we do, even though I really, really want to, I think it’s probably smartest to go slow, no pressure, you know, just in case, so that my body doesn’t freak out. Also, I’d really appreciate it if I at any point indicate for you to stop or even just pause a moment, that you’ll do that, that you’ll listen to me,” you briefly glanced down at your fiddling fingers, “and you know, I’m not saying let’s only do PG things, there are so, so many wonderful steps on the way that we can have fun with… I just–, I wanted to let you know now, before, so that we wouldn’t potentially have this conversation when something did happen.”
Only parting his lips when he was sure you were done, he uttered, “thank you for telling me. Are you–… are you okay? Was what happened before too much?”
“No…” you shook your head gently, “no, it wasn’t,” taking his hand in yours, you shared, “and I’m okay, I think… I mean, some days it still feels like it just happened, and others I notice something, something small, that I’ve gotten back, that I’ve regained…” absentmindedly tracing the lines of his palm with your thumb, you asked, “do you–… do you have any questions? Is there anything you wanna know?”
“No, I–… I just want you to tell me however much or little you feel comfortable with sharing.”
“…can I tell you? About it?” you asked slowly and he swiftly offered you a soft nod. Drawing in a deep breath, you began, “It, um, it was a Saturday night… I’d just gotten back from the bakery super late, maybe close to midnight… and when I was getting ready for bed, my roommate came home, he’d been out drinking as he usually spent his weekends. I remember we stayed up a while, just talking about the mundane stuff we always did. It was like any other Saturday, really. That was until I got too tired and went to go to bed, but he didn’t wanna stop talking, so he followed along into my room while I got ready and stuff,” averting your gaze, your bottom lip began to tremble, “we were just talking, it wasn’t anything special and then the next thing I knew, he was kissing me. It just–… it happened so fast… his hands were all over me… I remember he pushed me up against my closet so hard that my back was bruised the next day, and I don’t bruise that easily. He was just so wasted that I don’t think he realised or maybe even cared what he was doing. I tried to say something, tried to make him stop, but he didn’t listen to me. If he heard me, then I don’t think he understood what it was that I was saying… I would have pushed him away, slapped and hit him, but I couldn’t, I couldn’t move my body, not even a little, I just froze…”
“I can still feel what he felt like… like my skin won’t let go of the memory…” tears rolled down your cheeks as you squeezed your eyes shut and tried to ignore how your palm tingled with recollection, “how he forced me to touch him and held his hand over mine, making it move as if he just thought I didn’t know what to do… he was my friend, you know? He wasn’t just some stranger who dragged me into an alley and held a knife to my throat. He was my friend. He would always make offhand jokes about seeing me as just a little sister and how he wasn’t attracted to you at all. Made such a big deal of it that I never thought he’d try anything… I have no idea how long it actually went on… I don’t even remember when it was that I landed on the bed, if it was before or after he–… after he–… did stuff, t-touched me… I just remember I was laying there when it happened. The masked man, the devil of hell’s kitchen, he ripped him off of me…”
“He’d somehow heard… I think maybe if I hadn’t opened the window that night to air out the room, he wouldn’t have saved me… he beat him up... knocked him out… he told me to call the police, but I couldn’t, so I instead asked my uncle to come get me… my body’s never shaked the way it did that night… I remember I was so confused because I wasn’t cold, didn’t get it till the masked man said I was in shock… it didn’t stop till the next night… when he was about to leave, I asked what if Mi–,” you couldn’t get yourself to utter Michael’s name out loud without feeling as if your whole world would crumble around you, “what if he woke up before Howard arrived, and so he just stayed there with me, right till he somehow heard my uncle walking up the stairs and then he slipped out the way he came in, right before I heard the front door unlock.”
Letting out a long and unsteady breath, you raised a trembling palm up to wipe your cheeks.
For a while, the silence got to encompass the space completely, your left hand still shaking in Matt’s as you eventually heard him ask.
“Did you ever go to the police?”
“No. In the small window that I had to do one of those kits, I was just way too overwhelmed and confused and I just couldn’t think straight, I couldn’t do anything but relive that moment over and over again, so I didn’t do anything in time. But the longer time that passes and the more it sinks in what he did and the ways that I’m still paying for it, the things he ruined inside of me that I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to get back, the more I wish that I had gone to the police. But it’s too late now.”
“No, it’s not,” his fingers squeezed slightly around yours, “I could help you, I’m a lawyer after all.”
“No, Matt,” you said firmly, “it is. I don’t wanna sit there and hear them go oh, it’s your word against his, sorry, and have them think that not enough happened technically for them to take it seriously. Enough happened, trust me. I’m eternally grateful that Daredevil saved me from whatever else he could have done to me that night, but enough happened. Just because he didn’t stick it in me doesn’t mean nothing happened. That is the kind of belief that only belongs to people who think that the only sexual act that counts as sex is when a penis is in a vagina, and that is just so incredibly wrong,” an enraged laugh tumbled out of you as you fumed, “they are the kind of people who think that someone queer, disabled or just someone who isn’t into that sexual act isn’t actually having sex when they are. Sex is about connection, it’s about pleasure and there are endless amounts of things that can give a person pleasure,” clenching your jaw, you let out a heavy sigh, “I wish it could be different, I wish many things, I wish it hadn’t had happened at all, but it did, and I hope that at the very least he learned something from it, that he changed, that he wouldn’t do it again to someone else.”
© 2024 thyme-in-a-bubble
#lea’s writing#buttercup series#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock imagine#matt murdock fanfiction#matt murdock fanfic#matthew murdock imagine#matt murdock x y/n#matt murdock x you#daredevil x reader#matt murdock series#matthew murdock x reader#matt murdock fluff#matt murdock angst#matt murdock hurt/comfort
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unconventional methods - chapter 1
Summary: Bucky Barnes has a big problem: he is too anxious to date and too old school to enjoy porn. But he needs some kind of relief, and he needs it right now.
After getting an accidental boner during a mission, Natasha suggests him an application that seems to be exactly what he needs.
Will your content solve the problem for him? Or will it create new problems?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader (SHIELD Agent Bucky Barnes x Adult Content Creator Reader)
Word Count: 5.7K
Warnings: 18+ NSFW MINORS DNI, sex deprivation, adult content creation, sexy lingerie, sexy photos and videos, male masturbation, self-doubt, overthinking, flirting, sexting, sending explicit content to each other, pet names, mutual masturbation, jealousy, feeling possessive (nothing toxic), hiding the real identity, no mention of y/n.
A/N: This was such a random idea but as I started to think about it, more details came to me. After a point, it became impossible not to write.
In this story, Bunny is the reader but we view most of the story from Bucky’s side so there’s no use of you during the story. We don’t know what the reader is up to, how she feels about stuff. Only as much as Bucky knows or sees. That’s why the reader is mentioned as she mostly.
>> indicates incoming messages and << indicates outgoing messages in this story.
This story is not exactly how it seems but I don’t want to spoil it by revealing things too soon. Just stick around, if you wanna know how things will turn out to be.
Again, a big thank you to @notafunkiller for helping me every step of the way. She helped me the moment I felt stuck or something felt off, beta read the whole story and turned this into a readable piece. Thanking her won’t be enough. I would literally add her as a co-writer if that was possible on Tumblr.
All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.
Every like, comment and reblog is highly appreciated. Don’t hesitate to message me or send me a question regarding the stories I write. I would love to talk about it and no, it would never bother me as long as it’s not a hate comment. They are never welcome.
Read more tag starts after the first paragraph of the story.
Bucky wasn’t sure if he should do this. He looked at the paper Natasha handed him and then back at the screen again. The internet browser was open for a while, but he couldn’t decide what to do. It felt weird to be in this position. It didn’t feel right… but why was it wrong again? She was sharing her own content: whatever she was comfortable with. They were all there for people to see if they wanted to, right? He took a deep breath, started to type the link Natasha wrote down for him, and pushed enter quickly before he changed his mind.
The page loaded quickly, but all he could see was her profile picture and the header. There was a huge subscribe button and under it, he could see how many posts she had, different subscription options, etc. He scrolled back up to look at her photos. They were not clickable, but her profile picture was her in blue lingerie and cute bunny ears, which made him smile for a second. Then he looked at the header. She was on all fours, staring directly into the camera. It was a different look. Not that “I’m trying to look sexy” look that usually turned him off when it came to porn. It felt genuine somehow. How genuine it could be under these circumstances…
He looked at her profile picture for a while, thinking what could go wrong? A lot of people were doing this, weren't they? Some people were making money, some were paying for it. It wasn't that different from buying a dirty magazine. No, actually this was better because she had all the creative control over her own content. She was the one putting it out there. If that was not consent, then what was? He quickly created an account for himself, using a new email account like Natasha suggested. He didn’t need anyone to find out about this.
The next part felt like falling into a rabbit hole because dear god… She looked gorgeous! She had some free content that didn’t show much. Different poses in different lingerie. The photos were serving their purpose, making you want to subscribe and see more… of her. So he kept looking for a while.
There was something about her that made her so much more attractive, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He clicked next, looking at her pic in front of the mirror, with her legs wide open, but not actually showing anything. The slight smile on her face was warm and inviting. He knew he had no other option than to subscribe and see all of her content. He needed to see more.
The process didn't take long. After unlocking the special content, he just stared at the screen. How can she be real? He palmed his face, feeling nervous like he was on a first date with this attractive woman. He knew he wasn't. She was way out of his league, but he still felt nervous and intrigued while checking out all the content. There were so many different options and he didn’t know where to start.
At first, he decided to go slow and just check a couple of nude photos. The pics were in order, showing her getting rid of one piece of clothing with each new shot. It started with her fully dressed, looking super sexy: short skirt, modest cleavage, looking all cute. First, the skirt was gone, then her top, and she was left standing in her pastel pink lingerie that covered her chest completely, but it was lacy and see-through. It was fitting her like it was custom-made. He couldn’t stop himself and kept swiping, finding different concepts. His cock was pressed against his pants, aching for attention as he was unable to look away.
After spending god knows how long on her profile, Bucky finally couldn’t take it anymore. This was the point of all this, wasn’t it? Creating the need at the right time to please himself, so he wouldn’t get random erections during the missions… He unzipped himself and finally freed his cock. Still, his hands didn’t go there directly. He kept looking at her profile, discovering other features: like videos she uploaded while getting off!
“Dear god…” He gulped after seeing the thumbnail. She had a dildo in her hand. There was no way he was not going to click on this. No way!
He watched her taking her sweet time, teasing herself and, of course, the viewers, then getting really wet and adding lube on top of it before she pushed the dildo inside. The moan she let out sent a powerful jolt through his whole body. It was so beautiful and felt so fucking authentic, nothing like those fake, unrealistic porn moans. They were always a huge turn-off. This, on the other hand, was too much to handle. His cock was dripping so much precum, begging him for some attention. He couldn’t remember the last time he was this turned on. Either it never happened or it was so long ago, it doesn’t matter anymore.
He finally reached for the lube, poured a generous amount into his flesh hand, and quickly grabbed his cock.
“Fuck.” It felt so sensitive. Like he had been edged for the last hour. Maybe he had been… after all the content he went through.
His fingers were loose, moving up and down slowly while the most beautiful girl he ever laid eyes on was pleasing herself on the screen. He didn’t want this to end too soon. He wanted to take his sweet time and maybe imagine she was the one doing this to him. That was a nice image: her between his legs, looking up at him with those big eyes while she moved her hand up and down slowly, torturing him, not letting him come until she said so.
His breath shuttered at the thought, his fingers moving faster than before, like they have their own mind. His cock was grateful, but no, he didn’t want to come before the video was done. Somehow it felt like disappointing your date during your first sex.
Luckily, she started to shatter, moaning as she came on the dildo she was riding. And the noises she made immediately sent him over the edge.
“F-f-fuck,” he slurred as he started to come. It felt good, really good. He lost himself in pleasure and kept stroking until he emptied himself. Until he felt that overstimulation creeping in. That was when he noticed he closed his eyes. When he opened them back up, the video was done and the black screen with a play again button welcomed him.
Disappointment washed over him. She wasn't there with him. Even if he came before the video was done, she wouldn’t know. There was no one to disappoint. He was alone in his bedroom, jerking off to a computer screen, but in his defense, the girl was hot. Really hot.
He took a deep breath, letting himself enjoy the afterglow. That was the point of all this: enjoying small stuff like satisfaction without going through the tedious process of meeting new people. He reached for the wet wipes and cleaned himself quickly. As he clicked the exit button on the video, he saw another one. It must be old because she looked a bit younger, and her hair was a little lighter. Also, it looked like a short one so he clicked on it.
“Hey. Thank you so much for subscribing.” This was the first time he heard her voice. It was soft and calm. “I know this isn’t conventional, but I enjoy sharing content like this. Don’t judge me if you don’t wanna be judged, okay?” She winked and god, it was adorable. “I'll try to share new content every Wednesday. I hope to see you here. Feel free to message me if you like. Take care.”
If he hadn’t come thirty seconds ago, he would have gotten hard again after hearing her voice. He was glad even the super soldier serum had some limits. Before his body could recover from his intense orgasm, he closed the window and decided to go take a shower.
-------
The next week passed in a blur. There were missions, briefings, and someone’s birthday… He didn’t care whose. It was not someone from the main team, that was all he knew. He was eating his cake in the corner, minding his own business when Natasha sat next to him.
“Hey.” She tried to sound as casual as possible.
“Hey.”
“You look better.”
Bucky looked at her confused.
“Does that supposed to be a compliment, Romanoff?”
“It’s a simple statement, Barnes. It looks like you took my advice and gave yourself a break.” Bucky averted his gaze from her. “No accidental erections during missions, congrats.”
“It was one time, Natasha. One time. When will you let it go?”
“Whenever you tell me about your… experience.”
“My experience?” He looked back at her, with the same confused expression all over again.
“I wanna know if you liked her or not. I don’t need details.”
“Why do you care so much about it? She’s just a random girl.” He lied to her. She wasn’t. At least not to him. He had been checking her account anytime he got a chance. This whole week, he had been masturbating more than he ever did before. Sometimes even the thought of her was turning him on so randomly, he was starting to get worried, but at the same time, he couldn’t stop himself from checking for updates.
She was sharing content very regularly. Sometimes they were new photoshoots, and sometimes just random cute photos in pajamas. He didn’t know which content he was looking forward to the most. All he knew was he loved how genuine it felt she was.
“I’m just noisy. So tell me…”
“Yes, Natasha, I like her. She’s cute and hot, exactly what I was looking for. What do you want, a thank you?”
Bucky really had no idea how Natasha managed to hit the bull's eye when she suggested this girl to him. She was absolutely his type, so he could say thank you for this, but nothing more.
“I wouldn’t mind.”
“Thank you.” It was Natasha’s turn to feel confused because in all the time they spent together with Barnes, he never once thanked her. This was a first.
“Wow. You really like her.” She sounded proud of herself.
“Hey, Buck!” The moment Bucky heard Sam’s voice, he jumped off the couch. He didn’t want to spend another minute talking about his irrational crush with Natasha. It was pointless.
-------
As the time passed, Bucky felt like he was addicted to her content. He was checking his phone much more often than before, just to see if she shared something. He didn’t notice it until Sam pointed it out and asked if he got a girlfriend or something. He quickly denied that possibility, finding a lame excuse. He wasn’t sure if Sam bought it or not, but he definitely needed to check his phone less often.
When he came back home, he felt so tired. The whole day was full of meetings and he let himself be consumed by the details just not to think about her. It was Wednesday, which meant new content, yet he still tried to stay away from his phone.
He literally consumed every content she ever shared. There was no photo or video on her profile he didn't see. There were some he masturbated to more than once. He just wanted to take a step back and if he could manage this, he would feel less of a creep. The problem was he was home and he had nothing to do.
He tried to distract himself with food at first, and it only worked for 15 minutes. Then he took a shower, which took even less. Watching television didn’t even last more than 5 minutes, so he decided to go to sleep, but his mind kept wandering to her. He wanted to know what she shared and how she looked. Finally, he gave in and opened her profile… to see nothing. Since yesterday she shared literally nothing. That was so unlike her. She shared something every day and she never missed Wednesdays. He didn’t care about the lack of new content. It worried him that he doesn’t know if she was alright. Why wouldn’t she be? Maybe she was busy. He tried to calm himself down but falling asleep was impossible.
Then he made a promise to himself: if she won't share anything by noon the next day, he would message her. That thought calmed him down a little.
-------
The next day, Bucky forgot that he was trying to avoid checking his phone in public. His body was at work, but his mind was stuck on… her. He kept looking at her profile to see something, anything to assure himself you’re alright, but there was literally nothing. Complete silence. When it was finally noon, he had no patience left. Normally, he wouldn’t even consider sending a message, but he was just worried. And it didn’t occur to him that it was not his place to be concerned about this woman.
He opened her profile and clicked on the direct messages feature. His mind was completely blank. He had no idea what to say, looking at the screen for a couple of seconds as he trying to collect his thoughts.
“Hey.” That’s all he could come up with. How to say you are worried about someone who has no idea you even exist? It was ridiculous, but there was no way he could just wait and do nothing. “I’m sorry for bothering you. I hope you are alright. You have been absent lately. It could be something totally personal, I know that, but you never miss Wednesdays. So I wanted to check in to see if you are fine. I really hope you are.”
He took a deep breath after he pressed send. It was a long shot for sure. He didn’t really expect an answer. Maybe a seen. And that would be more than enough.
-------
An unfamiliar chime got Bucky’s attention. It surely came from his phone, but he never heard that sound before. When he took his phone out and saw the notification, his heart skipped a beat, just for a second. It was a message from her. The nervous feeling spread through his body like poison, sweat pooling on his forehead before he even clicked on it.
>> Hey, handsome. Thank you for checking in. I have been a bit busy and sick at the same time. Not the best combo. Sorry for missing the content day. I will make it up next Wednesday.
Bucky looked at the message, a bit confused. He wasn’t interested when the new content was gonna drop. He just wanted to know if she was okay. Being busy and sick at the same time didn’t look so. Content should have been the last thing she should be worried about.
<< I’m not worried about the content, darling. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.
He definitely didn’t expect her to respond this quickly, it didn’t even take a minute.
>> Really? I thought you’d miss me.
She was talking like she knew him personally. Like they have chatted before. It was weird and comforting at the same time.
<< I did miss seeing your cute little face, I’m not gonna lie, but I didn’t message you for that. Content can wait until you feel better.
>> My cute little face is a little bit unpresentable and I appreciate your concern. It’s refreshing to see someone actually cares how I am feeling instead of why I did not share anything lately.
<< I’m sure your cute little face is still the cutest thing on the face of the earth. I wouldn’t worry about being presentable.
>> Get ready for a jumpscare.
He had no idea what that meant, but the text was followed by a selfie: her, in bed, looking rather exhausted, with a messy bun, cute pajamas, and a cup of tea in her hand. Bucky quickly googled what jumpscare means and came back to the messaging screen.
<< You clearly don’t know what jumpscare means. It would be me, in a dark hallway or an alley. That’s real jumpscare. This is a cute lady who needs a bit of time to recover.
>> First darling, now cute lady. Are you sure you aren’t 60 years old?
<< Why, do you have an age limit?
>> For my content? No. << And for other stuff?
>> The answer is still no, but are you?
<< 60? No. I’m 107.
>> How do you know how to use the app at 107?
That question made Bucky laugh a little, but he chose to be honest.
<< If I don’t know something I just google it.
>> Shouldn't you be semi-dead at 107?
<< I should be fully dead yet I’m still here.
>> Your profile says 33. Why are you lying handsome?
<< Believe me, my body and soul are older than 33.
>> I kinda believe that because you are talking differently.
<< Is it why you are answering my messages?
>> That and I feel a bit lonely. Your message sounded cute. I usually end the conversation before it gets too far.
<< What’s too far for you?
>> When they start demanding private pictures or try to sext.
Bucky had to google once again what sext means, just to be sure, and it was exactly what he thought it would be.
<< But you sent them to me.
>> Just one picture. A sick selfie and you didn’t ask for it. I thought it would turn you off really badly and you would say take care and end the convo.
<< I still think you look cute.
>> I am starting to believe you might be cute as well.
-------
Bucky had no idea how things got this far with her. After that message, they were literally sending texting each other daily. Just checking in, asking random stuff, or getting to know each other. It was not the same every day. Sometimes it was just a couple of messages and dead silence. Sometimes they communicated all day, non-stop, but Bucky didn’t mind. He didn’t mind not talking to her every day. Knowing that she was okay gave him a bit of peace. Just a good morning or a good night message was enough to ease his anxiety.
>> Good morning, handsome.
That was the text he woke up to, that made him smile almost all day. Every time he remembered her calling him handsome or taking time to send a message to him, it made him happy. It made him feel different than others. He knew that was not the case. Maybe she kept talking to him because he didn’t make her uncomfortable. Maybe she talked to others too. He had no idea, but whenever he thought about her messaging someone else, he felt a faint pain in his stomach. He knew this feeling was irrational, so he avoidedto think about it as much as possible.
<< Good morning, bunny.
<< Is your favorite color pink? He randomly asked as he had been doing all week. The question came to him because he noticed she wore that color a lot.
>> No, it’s light blue. Why?
<< You wear pink a lot, that’s why I asked.
>> That’s what they like. Most men still think blue is a manly color.
<< You look divine in blue. It’s their loss really.
Her answer was a picture of her in blue lingerie. It surprised him because that photo was not on her profile. He remembered seeing this set, but not this exact photo. He kept looking at the pic for much longer than he should have. Another message woke him up from his trance.
<< I take that as you like it.
>> This photo is not on your profile.
<< No, it’s not.
>> But you feel fine sending it to me.
<< You said I look divine in blue.
>> You do. I’m just surprised you sent me a photo you didn’t share before. I’m glad you feel comfortable.
<< I’m pretty comfortable talking to you. Otherwise, I wouldn’t talk to someone whose name I don’t know.
>> I don’t know your name either, bunny.
<< You are a smart man. Most assume this is my real name.
>> Using your real name would be an unnecessary risk.
<< Is that why you don’t call me Viv?
>> Maybe. I wasn’t doing it on purpose. Why are you calling me handsome?
<< I don’t know, I never really thought about it.
>> Yeah, exactly. You don’t know what I look like but you are calling me handsome.
<< I would love to see what you look like, but I don’t wanna make you feel uncomfortable.
>> I’m sure what you are imagining is much better than the reality, bunny.
<< Why do you call me bunny?
>> Because of your profile photo. The bunny ears. You look really cute.
-------
Bucky was in the middle of debriefing. After a really long mission, he was finally back in New York. He wondered if Bunny messaged him. That was what he’d been calling her in his mind for a while and suddenly, he realized it might be too weird. Was he getting too creepy? Too comfortable? They didn’t even know each other properly. The last time they talked, she asked him why he didn’t use Viv. Maybe that was a signal for him to go for the fake name instead of his nickname.
“Barnes.” Fury’s voice brought him back to reality.
“Sorry, what did you say?”
“I asked if you want to add anything else.” His voice was firm.
“No, no. Romanoff covered it well.”
“Good. Rest for a couple of days. We will be going back to finish what we started.”
When Bucky finally reached out for his phone, Natasha was smiling in the corner.
“Does he have a secret girlfriend?” Sam asked.
“Maybe. I have no idea.” She lied.
-------
>> Good morning, old man.
>> Busy day?
>> I got a funny story to tell you, but you aren’t around.
>> Please tell me I didn’t offend you with the nickname.
>> I am messaging you a lot, aren’t I? I should leave you alone.
>> I’m sorry…
Bucky’s heart was racing as he read the messages. He should’ve warned her about not being online for a while. Instead, she thought she did something wrong. He looked at the message screen, trying tocome up with a good response to assure her that he wasn’t offended. He was an old man after all. What was there to get offended?
<< Hey. I’m sorry. I was away for work. There was no signal. I did not see your messages before.
<< Just know that you never bother me. You can message me as much as you want. Whenever you want and I will answer when I can.
<< And you know I should be the one to worry if I’m bothering you or creeping you out. Not you.
<< If you still wanna tell me that funny story, I’m here to listen, Viv.
Bucky wasn’t sure if she would reply. After all, she didn’t get a message from him for a while. Maybe he’d already lost his chance… But then his phone chimed.
>> Viv? Where did Bunny go?
>> 🐰
<< You want me to call you Bunny?
>> I got used to it.
<< Okay, Bunny. If that’s what you want.
This made him feel better. Maybe he was just overthinking. She didn’t seem to mind half of the things he was thinking about.
<< Should I get used to being called old man?
>> Does it bother you?
<< It doesn’t. I am an old man.
>> You are 33 if you didn’t lie while creating your profile.
<< Biologically, yes.
>> But you feel older, so you don’t mind.
>> I’m glad you are back.
<< I’m sorry that I didn’t warn you about work.
>> It’s okay. You don’t owe me anything.
That last message broke his heart. He knew she was right. He didn’t owe her anything, but that wasn’t the reason why he was explaining himself. He was doing it because he wanted to, and a small part of him wanted to owe her an explanation. He also wanted her to owe him an explanation. Yet he knew that wasn’t the case.
<< Is that how you feel?
>> Isn’t that how I should feel? I don’t know who you are. I don’t even know what you look like. I just know I like talking to you. If that’s the only thing you are willing to do, then it’s fine by me. I mean you could be married or engaged and I wouldn’t know. So it’s fine, you don’t have to explain yourself.
Bucky looked at the message for a while, digesting what she was saying. She was right. She had no information about who he was while he had access to her all of her content and now private messages. She was completely exposed, and he didn’t even share his name with her. Why would she trust him? Why would she owe him any explanation at all?
<< It’s James.
>> Nice to meet you, James 🐰
>> You have such a beautiful name.
-------
After he shared his name with her, something changed between them. Something subtle, but it meant a lot to Bucky. It felt like she was more open, and more curious now.
>> What are you wearing?
Bunny’s question caught him off guard. He looked at himself in panic. He was sitting on the floor, only with his boxers on, so there was no way he could tell her the truth.
<< Pajamas, you?
>> What kind of pajamas? I’m guessing old man pajamas but…I never saw an old man in old-school pajamas. Maybe you can show me.
Shit, shit, shit.
Lying to her was a huge mistake. He had no pajamas to put on. He only had a couple of pants, and henleys, and maybe three jackets. Natasha always made fun of him for wearing the same stuff over and over again. She was trying to hit a nerve so he would go buy something new, but it didn’t work, of course. Now, he wished it did.
He started to panic a little, looking around to find a solution. I could cover my body, a voice in his head said. And that’s what he did. He laid down, covered himself with his blanket, and took the picture. His face wasn’t in the frame, just the tip of his chin. Since he shaved this morning, his dimple was showing. He used his vibranium hand to take the selfie, and in this way, it looked like a normal photo.
It was too late when he noticed the fact that he laying on the floor, not in bed was visible. He cursed to himself while waiting for her answer. There was no way she wasn’t going to comment about the absence of the bed. No way.
>> I am not seeing any pajamas or your body, old man. It is that bad?
Bucky took a breath of relief. Maybe she did not even notice. After all, she wanted to see him. Maybe she didn’t even pay attention to his surroundings.
Or maybe she just didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. That thought changed his mind. He literally saw every part of her body. Sending a picture back in his boxers shouldn’t be a big deal, right? He stood up and extended his vibranium arm. The new selfie was quite similar except this time he was showing a lot of skin. Starting from the tip of his chin, he showed his upper body only. He looked at the photo before sending it: upper body and black boxers. No bare legs and no face.
>> I see no pajamas. And this body doesn't belong to an old man at all. Are you lying to me, James?🤨
He might have made a mistake by sending this picture. There was no way he could prove to her this is actually him. Especially after all that old man talk. While he was thinking about what he’s gonna do next, he got another message.
>> Cat got your tongue?
<< A bunny did actually.
>> You look good, James. Really good, but you don’t seem excited.
Her response confused him.
<< Excited?
>> Maybe you need a photo to get excited.
Before he could ask what that means, she sent him a pic of her. Definitely not professionally taken. It’s her in front of the mirror, wearing only shorts and covering her naked breasts with one of her hands while taking the picture with the other.
>> Hope this helps.
>> But if you wanna see more, you gotta share more.
<< You're very beautiful, bunny, but I hope you know this was not my intention. I was waiting for you to tell me that funny story.
Her response was another photo: a close up on her covered breasts. She looked like she was about to drop her hand and reveal it like he did not see them before.
>> I know.
>> So does this mean you're not excited? I was trying something here…
>> I can tell you the story if that’s what you’d rather do.
“Fuck…” Bucky cursed out loud. He was really good at this before. Flirting and finding the best possible response were easy back in the 40s, but it didn’t feel like that anymore. He was constantly worried about doing something wrong or creeping her out. He wanted to hear the story, but he really wanted to see her breasts too.
<< What do I have to do to see more?
>> I’ve just told you. Share more to get more.
Oh, so she wanted more photos of him, and he literally had no idea how to take flattering pictures.
>> Maybe start by showing me if the photos worked or not.
He looked down at himself and saw his rock-hard cock. How is he supposed to show her? Maybe I should mimic her photos. He touched the outline of his dick, making it a little more visible before taking a picture.
<< Is it clear enough?
>> Oh, you got really excited, didn’t you Jamie?
>> Not an old man after all.
He loudly groaned when he saw what she called him. Jamie. God! He felt a jolt of arousal the moment he read the nickname. He was sure he got even a little harder if that’s possible.
Before he could find an answer, Bunny sent him another photo. This time her palm was stretched on her breasts, fingers not hiding much anymore, but still, her tits weren’t completely visible. Yet he could see how erect her nipple was. He already had a lot of dirty thoughts: like taking her nipple into his mouth and torturing her before giving in. He just didn’t know if he should voice them or not.
<< Oh, that nipple…
>> What about it?
<< You wanna hear what I am thinking about?
>> Well, since I’m trying to tempt you here… What do you think?
<< Fuck, Bunny. You have no idea what you are doing to me.
>> I am dying to hear it though.
Instead of telling her, Bucky decided to show her. He tried to position himself in front of the camera and take a good photo of his erection. He tried a couple of different angles, but it was a dick after all. Nothing he tried seemed to make it seem more appealing in his view. When he finally sent the picture, he added a small text.
<< How about I show you instead?
>> Oh my god!
>> You were hiding that from me all this time?
>> Damn, I feel robbed.
<< Does this mean you like it, doll?
>> Oh, that’s new.
>> And I like it.
>> Maybe even better than Bunny.
>> And yes, I am actually drooling right now even with that horrible angle.
<< Horrible angle? How should I do this then? I never...
>> Do you want me to teach you, old man? Because I can.
<< I’m always open to learning new stuff. That’s the only thing you can always rely on.
>> Ohh, I love that. Open-minded, doesn’t mind taking criticism, no fragile masculinity. All very hot.
>> Try taking a picture in front of the mirror maybe. Don’t take the picture from above or too down. Try to use eye level if you aren’t particularly doing something. That works better.
Using a mirror wasn’t a good idea for him. He could imagine the photos looking better like that, but there was no way he could hide his metal arm.
So instead of positionin his camera above, he tried to level it down, showing his full length and thickness. A photo didn’t seem to work so he decided to record a short video of him playing with himself: his flesh hand going up and down slowly on his full length. He couldn’t help but let a low moan when his hand brushed against the head. Fuck, imagining her seeing this… The idea turned him on even more. He got so excited that he forgot to check the video before sending it.
>> Fuck, James.
>> Fuck fuck fuck.
>> Your voice is so fucking hot.
>> And you are so aroused. Is it all for me?
<< It’s all for you, doll.
<< This is what you do to me. All the time.
<< God, I wish you were here.
Bunny or Doll, he had no idea which one suits her better, sent a video as the response: her fingers, two of them, going in and out inside her. She was going pretty fast, indicating she had been doing this for a while, and there was a faint moaning in the background, which Bucky couldn’t get enough of. He watched the video twice before answering.
>> You are gonna be the death of me.
>> Are those fingers enough? Do you want a third one or maybe you would rather have a big dildo inside?
<< I would rather have you inside me.
After this point, everything felt like a blur. Things got out of hand, they kept exchanging photos and videos until they both got pretty powerful orgasms. Yet James found himself wanting more. So much more than she probably wanted to offer.
>>> Next Chapter
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes imagine#marvel x reader#sebastian stan#marvel fanfiction#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes x yn#bucky x female yn#winter soldier#bucky barnes fluff#bucky x you#my stories#unconventional methods
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kinktober — day XV
prompt: gender swap
revelations
“your hands were on my hips
your name is on my lips
over over again
like my only prayer”
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Alastor x Lucifer ; RadioApple ; MDNI 18+
tags/warnings: top!lucifer x bottom!alastor, alastor has a vagina, oral (alastor receiving), outercourse, no penetration orgasm 🦌✨
word count: 2.3k
summary: alastor and lucifer, back in their own bodies, have found some footing in their new routine. but there’s been something on alastor’s mind that he just can’t shake, which leads to surprising discoveries for the new lovers.
author’s note: can you believe we’re halfway through kinktober already?? this is a continuation of @macabr3-barbi3 body swap prompt <- please be sure to read this first to get the full experience ♥️ i was very excited to finally take a swing at this, and i hope you enjoy it! if there’s any takeaway, it’s that i will make alastor a cute little mess whenever i can 😈 quote is from burning desire by lana del rey.
coven: @fraugwinska @hazelfoureyes @macabr3-barbi3 @sugoi-writes @synamartia 🕯️♥️
the coven’s kinktober masterlist
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“I’d like us to try something different this time...”
Lucifer hums in response, too lost in the stupor Alastor’s scent puts him in to form words. You’d think after a month of intimacy that he’d have grown a tolerance for it, but the angel feared he had actually gotten weaker now that he didn’t have to stave off his desires.
He felt that same wave of relief pour through him, remembering how he pleaded with Alastor’s voice: Please don’t regret this. Lucifer had spent many nights following this in gratitude, eagerly receiving and reciprocating Alastor’s passions. They had both made good on their proposition to attune each other to their tastes, and Lucifer was currently indulging in one of his. It wasn’t just Alastor’s scent that drove him crazy, but also the sounds he made under Lucifer’s touch. Eliciting a myriad of gasps and moans from the demon as he laid claim to the delicate, tantalizing flesh under his mouth.
Alastor’s neck was always hidden behind a high collar, making the skin there particularly sensitive. The evidence of Lucifer’s ardency was easily hidden, and the King found his eyes wandering to that collar often, as if seeing through the cloth to his markings underneath.
Mine.
Leave it to Alastor to give him a possessive streak.
“Lucifer, are you listening?” Alastor’s voice was breathy but the irritation it conveyed managed to cut through the fog in Lucifer’s mind.
The subtle bite of Alastor’s claws on his ribs was enough to finally draw him away from his lover’s delectable neck, readjusting himself in Alastor’s lap to look at him properly. Learning how to make Alastor cum wasn’t the only thing Lucifer had learned over these last few weeks. Pissing Alastor off was a sure fire way to end up falling asleep alone with his hand down his pants.
“You wanna try something different.”
Maybe he had said it too directly, or the eye contact was too much, but he didn’t expect to get the reaction he did out of the demon. Alastor’s face flushed pink, a gorgeous rosy shade that accentuated the handsomeness of his face. Fuck, he was so effortlessly endearing sometimes. Lucifer felt his cock twitch between his legs when Alastor broke eye contact. Bashfulness was a rarity on the Radio Demon, and it made Lucifer salivate. Something primal in him waking up that he didn’t know was there until recently.
“Hey, come on, you know you can tell me,” Lucifer said sweetly enough, caressing Alastor’s face. Though the glint in his eyes was anything but, exposing the hunger he was trying to keep at bay.
Rushing Alastor into things never ended well, while patience always paid off.
Alastor relaxed under Lucifer’s touch and turned back to him, but his crimson eyes remained apprehensive. “I’ve been thinking… about our first time.”
How could Lucifer forget? It was one of the best mornings in his long existence. But he stayed silent, waiting for Alastor to continue.
“And as much as I enjoy fucking you to oblivion,” Alastor emphasized this with a squeeze to Lucifer’s hips, some confidence returning to his face and static-laden timbre, “I’d like to… try that out again. In my own body this time.”
It took Lucifer a second to catch on, but the smile that spread on his face was eager when he realized what Alastor was suggesting.
Lucifer was also quite fond of the way Alastor took control in the bed. He had always been a bit spoiled this way, being claimed by his lovers and basking in their affection. It was nice to let someone else take the reins and turn his mind off while his body bloomed like an evening flower, so long as the florist knew what they were doing. And, boy, did Alastor know what he was doing.
But the opportunity to turn the tables was too enticing to pass up. How could he, really, when Alastor was being so charmingly coy about it? Their first time was never too far from Lucifer’s mind, and it filled him with more happiness than he expected that it was the same for Alastor — perhaps even more so, given this request. How long had he been holding this back?
Lucifer brought his other hand up to Alastor’s face and stood on his knees to kiss him. It seemed to be answer enough for the demon, his large hands fervently gripping Lucifer’s hips in response. They stayed this way until Alastor had to come up for air, hot puffs of breath permeating the space between their open mouths as Lucifer gently guided him to lay down. Alastor was still panting as Lucifer began to unbutton his shirt, planting kisses on each patch of exposed skin as he made his way down.
“You’ll feel a bit of a tingle, but I promise it won’t hurt,” Lucifer said into Alastor’s stomach, relishing the way the muscles twitched under the tickle of his breath.
A radiant, golden light enveloped them for a moment, followed by the promised tingle and then… nothing. Or, well… not nothing. Alastor’s pants felt looser in the groin but tighter on the hips, his budding erection all but gone as the ache of his arousal swelled. The heat he felt in his lower abdomen was familiar but his desire was now inside, a subconscious clench of his new sex alerting him to how empty he felt. It was a sensation he had only experienced the one time in a body that wasn’t his, and the thrill of discovery made him tremble; his mind gone cottony with this sudden onset of need and submission. Unable to form the words required to convey his want, a whine choked him. Amplified by an involuntary roll of his hips against Lucifer’s chest.
The air around them shifted, oppressive and electric; alerting the animal mind buried deep within man that something was coming.
It took all of Lucifer’s self control to stop him from tearing Alastor’s pants to shreds in his need to unveil what awaited him underneath. But he managed somehow, his kisses on Alastor’s belly gone feverish as he quickly unfastened the belt embellishing the demon’s slender waist. Lucifer gave it a harsh pull and flung it away as if it had bitten him, unconcerned with whatever patch of floor it decided to land on as he unbuttoned the offending pants. Only then did he manage to calm himself some, giving a final kiss to the supple flesh protecting Alastor’s newly formed womb before looking up at his disheveled lover.
“You don’t know how much it means, trusting me with this,” Lucifer said, his sincerity potent with reverence as he hooked his fingers under the waistband of the Overlord’s pants and underwear. “Thank you for letting me take care of you Alastor.”
He was rewarded with another bashful display, Alastor’s ears pressed tightly against his head as he swallowed thickly. Glazed eyes and the pink flush of his face and tufted chest diluting the insolence of his retort. “Quit fussing and get on with it already.”
There were a few canned responses that came to Lucifer’s mind: Patience is a virtue, be careful what you wish for. But as they say, actions speak louder than words.
With a snap of his fingers they were both divested of clothes, and Alastor gasped as the cool air collided with his molten core. He didn’t have the opportunity to complain about it before Lucifer knelt down, devoutly kissing the inside of Alastor’s left thigh as his hand kneaded the other. Alastor sighed but his stomach tensed, a small spurt of liquid trickling out of him as Lucifer’s mouth made its way closer to the spot he desired it most.
Lucifer paused to admire the sight before him, earning a frustrated mewl from the demon. Alastor was ethereal, purveying a softness Lucifer honestly never thought possible, even after all the new facets he’d uncovered over the last month. But as he set his gaze on Alastor’s gorgeous cunt — adorned with a soft down of red and black hair — the domineering urge which was so new to him writhed under his skin, begging to proclaim its territory.
Finally, he brought himself to Alastor’s center. Unable to resist the need to smell the demon’s intoxicating arousal before extending his tongue, lapping up the juices collected there as if in offering. Alastor jerked in reaction, keening with relief as Lucifer groaned, quickly settling himself between Alastor’s legs to start his ministrations in earnest. He hiked those gorgeous long legs over his shoulders, firm tongue swirling over Alastor’s clit with a measured pace that belied his eagerness. It wouldn’t do to overwhelm the poor thing.
Alastor seemed to be doing well, though. Cursing between soft moans while his hips rolled against the angel’s mouth. Lucifer sighed into that delicious heat as Alastor’s fingers found purchase in his blonde hair, a feeling of wholeness washing over him that he hadn’t felt in centuries.
“You’re so fucking perfect,” Lucifer lamented before his forked tongue dove back into its newfound Eden.
He felt like he was floating away from himself, lost in the saccharine taste and sounds of his lover. The demon’s scent now fully bloomed, perfuming the air with the verdant musk that had tortured Lucifer since their first meeting. How easily the angel was reduced to his baser natures, the need to revere and praise woven into his very being reminding him of his place. In this instance it didn’t matter — nor did he ever think it would when it came to how he felt about the sinner beneath him. Lucifer would weather whatever storms Alastor threw his way, so long as the days ended with them in the safe harbor of their bed.
Lucifer’s tongue had just pressed up to focus on the sensitive inner nerve when a low, drawn-out bleat from Alastor caught them both off-guard. Alastor’s hands quickly detangled themselves to clasp over his mouth with Lucifer’s head popping up to follow, his hair ruffled like unruly feathers. He took in the look on Alastor’s face, beet-red with embarrassment, and felt the expression on his own soften with an overwhelming affection. Nothing they had tried so far had managed to pull a sound like that from Alastor — but Lucifer wasn’t completely surprised. He wrote the book on cunnilingus, after all.
Despite the swell of pride, he managed to keep his wolfish grin to himself. If he wanted to keep this going, he’d have to save the gloating for later. Though his cock throbbed, leaking desperately from Alastor’s modesty as his brain finally registered his own painful arousal. Lucifer thought absently that it was a miracle he hadn’t already finished against the sheets.
“You okay, honey?”
Alastor nodded his head, squeezing his eyes shut to hide from Lucifer’s earnestness. Another wave of endearment poured through the angel, coating his veins like syrup as he journeyed up to gently remove the hands from Alastor’s mouth. It wasn’t without resistance though, Alastor stubborn as always to have his way. But Lucifer won in the end, bringing one hand to his mouth with an adoring kiss that made Alastor wriggle, feeling more exposed than ever despite his eyes still being closed. The soothing tone of Lucifer’s amused chuckle mingled in the air with frayed static as he leaned down to place a kiss to Alastor’s hot cheek.
“If you need to we can — ”
“Don’t…,” Alastor interjected, unsteady, “don’t say it. It’s too embarrassing. Just — ah!”
Lucifer provided an interruption of his own, taking advantage of Alastor’s closed eyes to rub his erection through warm slick. His wanton moan of alleviation quickly tarnishing any form of superiority he had managed to gain as Alastor whined below him, eyes flying open from shock. Lucifer rolled his hips again and they cried out in unison, the air between them humid with their desire. A hiss escaped through Lucifer’s teeth as Alastor moved his hips to meet him, and he was now genuinely concerned that he might not even get the chance to enter before the onset of his climax.
But his body had other concerns, overriding the alarm bells in his mind as he ground his cock against Alastor’s folds. Their combined fluids making it all too easy to stimulate their most sensitive parts. Lucifer was writhing, helpless against his instinct to follow through. The luscious heat from that swollen, wet cunt — he wanted to curse and worship himself for using such an effective spell.
He wasn’t the only one enjoying themselves more than expected. Each whine, squeal, and bleat from Alastor goaded Lucifer on. Reinforced by the steady rolling of his hips, craving the friction of Lucifer’s hard length against his sex and lower belly.
Alastor’s claws dug into the tender flesh of Lucifer’s ribs, mouth open as he panted between moans and sobs, his abdomen quivering from the building tension of pleasure. They were beginning to lose rhythm now, each of them chasing down the relief they needed so desperately.
“Lucifer, please — please, I…!”
“Mm-me too — hah… fuck!”
Lucifer cried out as he felt the first ropes of his release escape him, Alastor’s blissed out face seared into his mind before his vision went white. Somewhere in the fog he could hear Alastor calling his name through heaving breaths as their bodies rode out the high, clumsily rocking against each other until they were twitching from oversensitivity. Lucifer blinked back the haze until his lover came back into view, collapsing on top of him before he kissed every part of Alastor’s face his lips could touch.
It wasn’t until Alastor shuddered that Lucifer realized the salt on his tongue was from tears and not sweat. Lucifer shushed him, pressing a tender kiss to Alastor’s temple as he pet his hair to soothe him.
“If you mention this to anyone, I’ll tear your heart out and eat it in front of the entire city,” Alastor threatened, words muffled as he hid his face in the swoop of Lucifer’s neck; his usual venom reduced to petulance.
Lucifer laughed, the heart in question fluttering as he sank into Alastor’s embrace. “You know… we really need to work on your pillow talk. Lucky for you that I believe in second chances.”
✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧
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#radioapple#radioapple smut#radioapple fan fiction#alastor x lucifer#alastor x lucifer smut#alastor x lucifer fan fiction#hazbin hotel fan fiction#gender swap#kinktober#kinktober 2024#kinktober prompts#coven works
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i’m thinking about making my smut debut, any words of encouragement so i don’t chicken out??
also since you asked for asks, how do you think daryl dixon would react to you subtly teasing him all day?
hi there! PLEASE make your smut debut you wont regret it! it's so nice to just put something out in the world that's your own and see that other people enjoy it as well! my words of advice: don't over think it too much! just write what comes to mind and hit the post button. not everyone's always gonna like what you write, and you might not always blow up, but at least one person will enjoy it! tag me in your first smut !
summary - daryl's a tease
⟡ wordcount - 994
⟡ a/n - gn!reader, swearing, suggestive, daryl's kinda mean, but this is pretty mild, I flipped the ask around a little, just a fun little ovulation drabble, ps Lana + writing smut is magical
he'd pick up on how needy you were from the get go. your longing stares, the way you didn't want him to leave the sheets you were both wrapped up in when the sun came up. he knew.
he stood up from the bed, the soft glow from the sun illuminating his sculpted body as he maneuvered around the room, sliding his clothes on his body. in your early morning daze, he could've easily been a fallen angel.
more like an incubus. his pants hung low on his waist as he pushed his belt through the loops, your eyes following his v-line, memorizing the way his waist tapered ever so slightly.
"wanna picture, sweetheart?" he rasped, haphazardly putting on that one black t-shirt that nearly choked his biceps. the same one that you had expressed a specific fondness of just a few nights ago, moments before you tore it off him.
your face flushed at his comment, your eyes meeting. you noticed the smug smile that adorned his lips. he knew.
🌙
you'd find him chopping up some firewood in the middle of Alexandria, the early afternoon causing him to sweat so much that you'd question if he'd just jumped in the lake.
but to your hungry eyes, it'd be no different if he had oiled himself up, stripped himself bare, and had "come get me" written on his back. his muscles were glistening and bulging with each blow of the axe, the sunlight giving his skin a honey-like glow.
you'd watch him- no, gaze at him like a wolf preying on an elk, ready to pounce. his shirt clung to him like second skin, each one of his muscles rippling with each swinging motion. fuck.
he knew exactly what he was doing. the number the hot summer sun was doing on him was incomparable to the holes your eyes were burning into his skin.
the sneaky mother fucker turned his head directly to you, right as the axe was about to come down on yet another log. with a quick blow to the wood, he threw the axe down, turning to look at you once more with a shit-eating smirk. your mouth fell agape. that little shit.
he turned away, wiped forehead, tied the upper half of his hair up into a bun, and practically sauntered down the street and into your shared house.
you had subtly crossed your legs, trying to stop the filth that plagued your mind. as the seconds passed, you became increasingly aware of the heat that radiated from your cheeks and core. your panties were soaked and glued to your heat as you shifted.
in all actuality, he hadn't been doing anything too outlandish- at least not anything he hasn't done before. he just wanted to see you squirm. you stood up from the bench you had been sitting on and walked toward your home.
you knew he'd be there, you just hoped he'd give you what you wanted- no. what you needed. you advanced toward your house, wearily opening the door with a click. you walked into the quiet house and shut the door behind you. the shower was running upstairs.
the clock striked 4 as you made your way up the stairs. each step echoed in your head as your body radiated heat. you took your shoes off at the top of the steps, probably in hopes that you could take him by surprise, but who knows. you were as rational as your thoughts were pure. when you peaked in the door way, you could see the shower curtain drawn shut, but the mirror revealed just the slightest bit of his back, the water cascading down it.
you stripped yourself of your clothes, the humidity mingling with the sheen of sweat on your body. you opened the curtain, stepping in to the shower behind him. your arms snaked around his waist, your head resting against his back. the smell of soap and his natural scent sent shivers down your spine.
you held him tightly, pressing your body impossibly close to his, hoping he'd understand how badly you needed him. being impossibly stronger than you, he turned around in your grasp, his hands pulling your waist and chest firmly against his.
he looked in to your eyes, brushing a wet strand of hair behind your ear. "so needy f' me today, hm?" he cooed so sweetly as his large hands sunk down to the meat of your hip, his grip possessive. you looked into him, bobbing your head up and down and suddenly feeling small under his gaze. you snaked your arms around his neck in efforts to bring him closer.
if anyone was the wolf here, it was him. his lips lingered so close to yours as his eyes flickered to your eyes, lips, your bare frame, and at anything else you had to offer him.
your body was buzzing. you could feel your knees growing weak in his embrace as if he was holding you up with just his regard. you were sure you could feel yourself dripping down your leg. it was almost if he could sense how viscerally you craved him. your hands fell to his shoulders, gripping tightly onto his tense muscles.
he placed a chaste kiss to your shoulder, your head instantly tilting to allow him as much of you as he wanted. he trailed his kisses toward your neck, kissing your pulse in the process. he smirked softly as he felt how wildly your heart was beating. his scruff tickled your neck just right, only making you grip him tighter. you swore you could cum in that moment.
his kisses grew sloppy, his own breathing growing deeper as he felt his cock throb at the sound of your ragged breaths. he kissed your ear and whispered to you as he shut the water off.
"wait f' me in the room"
masterlist
#daryl dixon#daryl fanfiction#daryl imagines#daryl x reader#daryl twd#daryl smut#daryl#twd daryl#daryl dixon smut#the walking dead daryl#dixon#twd#twd daryl dixon#twd fanfiction#twd smut#the walking dead smut#the walking dead#twd the ones who live#i need him so bad#morethanwordscanexpress#imovulating#canyoutell#becauseisureashellcan#Ifeellikeineedtoaddmoredetailsinmywriting#idk what else to tag#smut#rick twd#rick grimes smut#shane walsh smut#negan smut
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Alphaworld File 3: Diary of an Alpha Transformation (1 of ?)
Click here to read Alphaworld in posting order.
X
An undated journal. It is heavily bedazzled on the covers, though many of the gems appear to have been scraped off or stepped on. There are several stains yellowing the coloured paper of the cover, mostly sweat.
Inside the front cover, there is a space where the owner is encouraged to write their name. Two names occupy the space, one on top of the other. The lower layer is written with a purple marker, neatly spelling the name “Ronaldo Herrera.” There are multicoloured sparkles drawn around the name, and glitter has been sprinkled over it. Some of the glitter appears to have been scraped off with a knife, and there is a 3 centimetre tear at the top interior of the page, as if someone was about to rip it out. On top of the first name, the name “RONNIE H” is scrawled in crude capitals using a pencil. The pencil was applied with sufficient force that graphite scrapes are visible from where they were brushed off the page.
Journal entries flow into each other without dating, but editors have split entries based on context and labelled them “Day One, Day Two, Day Three…” despite the fact that more than one day clearly proceeds between some entries. From this point onward, journal entries are transliterated directly, with marginalia and other notes on the text rendered in square brackets [] to distinguish them from the main body.
[Day One]
OMG, I’m soooo happy to be back on campus! Staying with my parents is such a bore! They don’t let me stream any of my shows, they say drag race is of the devil, and the town is so small that I’m, like, the only twink there. I can’t even get any dl dick all holiday because country guys are all totally masc for masc. My hole is toooootally desperate.
I’m so happy that Ollie across the hall got me this journal! He made it look soooo cute with all the stones! He’s, like, okay for a fellow bottom, even tho his massive crush on me is, like, totally obvious. Sorry babe, this dick is for decoration only lmao! Maybe we could get tag teamed by a big dick boy sometime, that’d be pretty hot. I've never bottomed alongside a transmasc dude.
Anyway, I just stopped at the dorm to drop off my suitcase and get out of my het drag, there’s a whole lotta frat parties starting tonight and if I wanna end my dry spell I’ve gotta be there! I just had to live my Sex and the City fantasy by putting down a few lines in the diary first!
[a doodle of an open-faced journal with scribbly lines on the page in rainbow colours]
[Day Two]
ZOMGGGGGGG [written in double-tall bubble letters across a quarter of the page, filled in with pink highlighter]
This term is gonna be SO AWESOME.
Campus is suddenly full of massive muscle men who are totally desperate for me! I was, like, totally the target of a dominance contest at the party last night, and it was SO HOT.
So I walk in, right? And I’m dressed in my usual, my lil slutty crop and my littlest shorts. Here, I took a pic before I left so you can see how cute I was.
Anyway, I’m cute, I’m obvious, I’m ready to have any guy absolutely wreck me. Like, last night, I would have taken a bicurious frat bro fucking me raw, my hole was so neglected. So I am a blaring neon sign: I’M A FAG [written in rainbow marker colours]
And as soon as I walk in, this GOD [a doodle of a massive man is in the margin, a perfect X shape covered in cartoonishly bulging muscles] comes up to me and is all, “Hey boy, I’m Nate.” He. Is. PERFECT. Gorgeous grey eyes, windswept dirty blond hair, a tank top hugging pecs the size of my HEAD. And his voice gets me tooootally weak in the knees. I can't believe he's LOOKING at lil ol me, even if I do look like a twinky slut.
But before I can even say anything to Nate, there’s another MASSIVE arm draped over my shoulder, and ANOTHER massive guy is whispering in my ear, like, “Name’s Lee. Want a drink?” I look over, and he’s just as hot as Nate, with shiny black hair and this perfect sexy smile like a J-pop star. But, like, if a J-pop star was 250 pounds of pure muscle and sex.
I swear all the air went out of the room. Suddenly, Nate and Lee were glaring at each other over me, and all these frat bros were staring.
BTW, when did all the frat bros get so cuuuute? Like, not as sexy as Nate and Lee, but they’re all totally cut this term and I think they’ve got some skincare going? Like I wanna go back sometime lmao.
Lee, like, GROWLED as he glared across me. I felt a li-ter-al rumble from his chest. Nate started totally flexing his big pecs, I thought his shirt was gonna shred in the middle. They didn’t even SAY anything, it was so totally primal. I think I got a whiff of Lee as he tucked me closer to his chest, and I realised he totally doesn’t use deodorant. He smelled totally HAWT.
Anyway, I have two perfect men fighting over me, and I’m not letting either of them go, so I go, “Boys, I promise my holes are big enough to share.” I totes flashed my dimples at them. [doodle of a smiley face]
They kept glaring at each other, but finally Lee was like, “I get his hole.” Maybe he, like, won the contest or whatever? Because Nate looked down at the floor and said, “Fine.” And I mean, fine with me! I love getting stuffed from both ends! What a way to come back from vacay!
We didn’t stay at the party long, just long enough for Lee to get me a drink and Nate to carry me around the dance floor a bit. I checked on Lee while we were dancing, and he was, like, totally making out with one of the frat bros. Like, a guy I knew was straight. I blew him freshman year when his gf was away. I guess Lee’s just like that, lmao.
We ended up upstairs. I think Lee’s in the frat? But we weren’t in his room, which was kinda hot. Lee and Nate sandwiched me between them as soon as we were through the door. I was tooootally surrounded by massive muscle as Nate made out with me and Lee sucked on my neck. I felt, like, high, with Nate’s big cock grinding into my belly through his jeans while Lee felt up my cute ass.
“You guys kissing would be so hot,” I gasped as Nate pulled off my shirt and Lee took off my shorts.
They both hesitated, I could feel it. “Oh c’mon,” I moaned, “you’re both tooootally hot, and you haven’t touched at allllll.”
Suddenly, Lee picked me up and threw me on a random frat bro’s bed. “I guess your mouth IS gonna be busy,” he said, which was SOOO hot, and then he started slicking up my hole.
Pretty soon, both hunks were balls deep in me. They were SOOOOOO big [doodles of massive, soft cocks cover the margins of this page] and I took ALL of them. Lee filled me up SO good, rubbing my prostate like he was fingering me. And Nate tasted, like, perfect. And the whole time, Nate kept pulling back just far enough that I could watch him and Lee kissing over me.
FUCK, they made me look like a little doll between them! I think once they were in me, all the dominance stuff went away, because they were TOTALLY making out. Nate’s, like, SO noisy, and Lee kept on doing that growl thing like he’d done before, which made me moan around Nate’s cock, which made him even noisier.
I came handsfree right before Lee flooded my ass and Nate filled my mouth with cum.
By the time our clothes were back on, Lee and Nate were back to playing their weird dick measuring game, keeping me between them as we went back to the party. I think Nate left pretty soon, but I danced for a bit longer and made out with a few frat bros. They really ARE super cute now, and they all seemed totally into me. Guess they finally got over being raging fucking homophobes lmao.
Anyway, I got home and crashed as soon as I’d cleaned all the cum and sweat off. Now my hand’s all crampy from writing for so long lol. Oooh, I should go tell Ollie all about it!
[Day Three]
I was, like, SO right.
The last few days have been AWESOME!!!! [jagged star doodles all around the word] I swear there are soooo many hunks on campus all of a sudden! One of my profs this term is a tooootal musclestud.
So I’m taking this class on fashion history, and when I looked it up, this Prof. Romano guy was listed for it. He was cute, one of those cute tweed aesthetic guys. You know, a fag who studies fashion. Like, OMG, that picture must be SO OLD.
I show up for class all ready to sit in the back row, but then I see this MAN standing at the podium. Like, total Italian stallion, with the dark waves and the stubbly jaw. He was, like, BURSTING out of his blazer. I could watch his pec bounce through three layers of fabric.
So obv I run down and sit in the front row. I’m not the first fag to have the idea, there’s already like 3 other twinks down there, but I’m totally the cutest. As the rest of the class comes in and sits down, these two GORGEOUS boys walk in and go up to the prof. They’re totally shredded, and dressed in complementary button-ups. And the muscle-god prof pats each of them on the head! Then they go sit down in some chairs behind the podium, and I can see their boners in their cute slacks.
The prof clears his throat, and it’s this DEEP, RESONANT sound. I got a total eargasm just listening to the rumble. “Good morning, class,” he says. And then his next words are TOTALLY burned into my brain:
[written in shaky block letters across a whole page] “You will call me Alpha Mario.”
And then he says, “I am your professor, and I will see you all for extra credit,” while rubbing himself through his pants, like half the class isn’t ready to have his babies. My cock was ROCK FUCKING HARD in my jeans. [doodle of a leaking penis]
He introduces his TAs as Beta Max and Beta Owen. IDK, maybe it’s a kink thing? He’s clearly their dom or something, they were totally devoted to him all class. I’d happily be Alpha Mario’s Beta if he’s hiring, lmao! [hearts are doodled around “Alpha Mario”]
Anyway, that’s just one ep in the PORN SHOW that is my life these days! Ollie’s room has been, like, a revolving door of cock since we got back, and I usually take two or three loads a day out on campus. This group of straight computer science geeks actually begged to fuck me yesterday, so I was dripping all the way home.
They were surprisingly buff for nerds, too! I should point out to Ollie that we gotta hit the gym if we wanna keep up with all the boys on campus this term. Can you imagine? Us at the gym! [The rest of the page is covered in stickers of the laughing emoji]
[Day Four]
Went to the gym today! Not to workout, but I had this new outfit idea and I thought it might get me noticed if I just hung out in the locker room. OH BOY, was I right!
Last few days all my clothes have been feeling super tight, so I’ve been doing a lot of [scribbled in rainbow marker] SHOPPING. It’s too bad, all my old clothes were suuuuper cute, but I’ve started giving some of my old faves to repeat fuckbuddies. One of the guys who used to push me around for being faggy, this guy called Brendan, has been coming over for the last few nights. I never realised how cute he is before!
Anyway, the first night Brendan came over he throatfucked me, but last night he told me he really wanted to feel my fingers in his hole, so I started fingering him! It was soooo hot that my cock ended up totally hard and before I knew it HE was blowing ME while I rubbed his prostate. He’s been texting me all day, begging to service my cock again. Lol, he just sent a voice message all like, “Please, Ronaldo, I’ll do anything to make you cum again!”
My point is I gave him a pair of my old booty shorts. They fit him perfectly, even though he NEVER had an ass as nice as mine before. He’s been wearing them all day today, just like I told him. It’s so hot, knowing he’s showing off like a fag even though he used to be a straight homophobe.
Fuck, I was writing about MY clothes! I’ve been so distracted by hot beta boys the last few days. I thought it was kinda time to change up my style, plus I looked super hot trying on some more dude-type clothes, so here’s the pic of me I took while I was hanging out at the gym.
I had guys HANGING OFF OF ME after a few minutes. It was totally hot, they wanted to do anything I said. Before long, I had a bunch of hot guys kissing me all over and all the cocks I could want to suck. Guys kept running out to grab their hot friends to join us, and all these guys were focussed on me.
At one point one of the staff came in, and I could tell it was to tell us to stop. He was a cute guy, really filled out his work polo, you know how gyms always hire swole dudes and curvy gurls to work at the front desk. I just gave him this LOOK from the middle of my pile of dudes, and I could feel his straightness melt away as his cock started leaking in his preppy shorts.
But just as I was about to cum, my cap got ripped off my head and I was dragged out of the pile by Nate, the guy from that frat party. I swear, he got even BIGGER since last time, he held me up by my shoulders like I was a paperweight. He was totally growling at me, too. He said something like, “I hate when they’re half done,” whatever that means, and then he yelled at all the other boys to get back to work.
Once we were along in the locker room, Nate shook me like a doll. “All the ex-het Betas can treat my gym as neutral ground, but it’s MY territory to you and the other half-done Alphas, you got it?” [note: Alpha and Beta are capitalised in the original text, although Ronnie does not seem to have been aware of the Alpha Phenomenon]
I was like “What are you talking about?”
Nate said, “You’ll get it.” Then I started smelling this INCREDIBLE smell. It was like really sharp cedar cologne mixed with fresh sweat. There was something else too, and it made me feel totally out of it.
Next thing I knew, I was on my knees swallowing Nate’s cock again. “Yeah,” he was saying while he fucked my throat, “this’ll speed you up. You’ll probably never submit again after this, so I’m gonna enjoy it.”
I just stayed there, taking him all the way into my throat. I feel like a week ago it would’ve been totally hot, but today it felt different. Nate using me made me MAD [underlined several times]. I felt like I should do something about it, like punch him or steal one of his boys, but the smell coming off of him kept me docile.
Nate came really quietly, which made me madder. My throat is an incredible tool, okay? Any guy should be screaming when I blow him, especially a noisy top like Nate. Then he patted me on the head like I was a little boy and said, “Head home. Drop a load in that guy who lives across from you, he should be progressing well too.” Then he just. Walked away.
I was gonna stay here all night just to spite the asshole, but I’m super horny again and I don’t wanna go back out. Maybe I’ll go see if Ollie’s got any visitors tonight or if he wants me to fill his holes for him.
[Day Five]
[From this point, entries are written in a noticeably heavier hand. Lowercase Es and Os become jagged.] Fuck, last night was fucking awesome. I knocked on Ollie’s door, and he answered in nothing but a thong, showing his bottom growth right through the fabric. His legs have been getting so hairy and thick, he looked super slutty. Plus his room smelled like sex and cum. I’ve been sleeping out, but seems like Ollie’s been taking house calls.
“Ronaldo?” he said, blinking up at me in surprise. I think we used to be a matching pair of little twinks, but guess I’ve had a growth spurt.
I shoved through the door. What was he gonna do, stop me? I was like, “Where’s your lube?” It came out of my mouth so deep, in a crazy manly register. “I wanna finger you.”
Ollie fuckin’ moaned when I said that, and stumbled over to his night table to grab it. He keeps his lube right out in the open, proud of how much cock he takes. I was already dropping my jeans, my cock was getting super hard and I hate feeling it strain. It deserves to be seen anyway.
Once I grabbed Ollie’s lube, he stood against the wall and presented his ass for me. Fuck, just remembering the look of all that hair on his fat ass is making me leak again. Okay I jerked a bit, should be able to write. [there is a stain on the page here]
Ollie’s hole was still loose from his last dick appointment, so I pushed three fingers in nice and easy. Ollie was moaning, all, “When did your fingers get so thick,” and “What’s happening to us, Ronaldo?” so I roughed up his G-spot a bit until he wasn’t being so articulate anymore.
“What’s happening to us is we’re gonna rule this school,” I hissed at him. I’d realised that it wasn’t gonna be enough to finger him and make him blow me. I needed to shoot inside his ass right fucking now. “Fags are in fucking charge here now.”
Fuck, wait, I need to text Brendan and get him over here. I need him milking my cock so I can focus on writing.
[There are several crude doodles of dicks, asses, and cum splatters in various marker colours before the entry continues on the facing page]
So anyway I slammed Ollie against the wall and shoved my cock into him. My cock’s so much fucking bigger now, too. Like it’s really filling up Brendan’s mouth while he sucks on me. I had enough cock to really saw at Ollie's asshole, and I felt him cum handsfree onto the wall.
“That’s it,” I growled in his ear as I had to hold him up. “This is what you’ve wanted ever since we became neighbours, right? Ollie wanted to get Ronnie’s big alpha dick in his hole.” It felt good to call myself a
[in massive letters on its own line] ALPHA
Ollie didn’t really say words at that point, just lots of “Yes” and “More.” I could hear his voice getting deeper with every thrust, too.
By the time I was getting close, Ollie’s room reeked like ME. It wasn’t a bad smell, but I knew any boy who came in here would be able to tell that all this musk and spice wasn’t just Ollie. It would take weeks for this to be really Ollie’s territory again now that I had marked it. “Fuck, show me that man pussy,” I ordered him, and threw him down in his bed.
Switching holes felt like the most natural thing in the world. I’m fucking built for topping, I can’t believe I thought I hated it. I fucked Ollie through a couple more orgasms and then let myself fill up his man pussy with what felt like 3 loads.
I fell asleep still inside him.
FUCK. I just came in Brendan’s mouth, and it felt totally different. Like, I marked Ollie’s room, but I didn’t mark HIM. His holes are open for anyone to fill. He can own other boys for all I care. But Brendan? Brendan’s fucking MINE. He’s mine he’s mine he’s mine. MY Brendan. [scribbled hastily] I need his hole NOW.
[written later]
I took a pic of Ollie before I started fingering him. I bet he looks totally different now, like me. Gotta go, MY Brendan’s gonna show me how to do a gym session.
To Be Continued...
#alphaworld#male transformation#mental change#male tf#muscle tf#reality change#musk tf#dom tf#hairy tf#gradual change#all fwkong
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Korrasami Secret Santa 2024!! ;DDDD!! ❤️❤️
Hi, Korrasami fam!! We're back!! ;DDDDD!!
We're doing Korrasami Secret Santa for 2024!! (I did copy this from Korrasami Secret Santa 2024. Always will!! ;DDDD!!). 7 YEARS AND KICKING BABEY LET'S GO!! ;DDDD!! ❤️❤️❤️
The rules are the same:
Korrasami creators will be able to gift one another with Secret Santa gifts. Whether it be fics, art, videos, animations…the fun’s all there! (It doesn’t have to be holiday-themed! It can be whatever you want :)
The Process:
This Secret Santa exchange will be done through drawnames.com, which is a Secret Santa Name Generator. You’ll need your email for this, and you can message me it directly on Tumblr (I’ll gather everyone’s names up, and put them into the generator when it’s time to draw names.)
The due date to sign up is 11:59 PM Nov 29, 2024 PDT (I’d like everyone to have ample time to do their Secret Santa gifts). :)
Most likely, you’ll need to make an account on drawnames.com (you don’t need to, but it’s recommended. When you get to writing your Wish List on there, under ‘Hobbies and Interests’, make two different lists: One for ‘Fic Requests’, the other for ‘Art Requests’. If a writer draws your name, you’ll have a suggestion for what you want them to write. If an artist draws your name, they’ll have an idea of what to create! (Also, originally, this project only had fanfic and fanart- but if anyone can contribute any other talents, that’d be swell!)
Example: Fic Request- I want Korra and Asami cuddling at home with a fireplace!
Art Request: I want Korrasami going otter-penguin sledding!
The fic and art requests can be the same, or they can be different. Please limit it to one, or if you can’t choose, then two options. You can also note things that you don’t want (i.e. No smut or NSFW work!). You can be as specific as you wish.
Also, everyone else! We recognize that there may be people in the fandom who don’t create content, but still want to contribute! @lamftw came up with these great ideas four years ago, if you’d still like to participate in the Secret Santa. You can:
Create Korrasami memes! The more memes, the better :)
Share your favorite Korrasami headcanons! We’d love to hear them.
Share your favorite artwork/fanfic!
Share your favorite moment from LoK or share how much Korrasami means to you.
Create Korrasami memes, write a sweet holiday message/ note of appreciation :)
Also, we can all show some love to our favorite creators, to Bryke, Janet Varney, and Seychelle Gabriel (the voice of Korra and Asami, respectively). :)
When everyone has signed up, I’ll put all the names into the Secret Santa Name Generator. You should get an email, asking you to join the Secret Santa exchange. Just click ‘Join Group’, and you’re good! Once everyone has joined, the names will then be drawn, and you’ll get your chosen individual (you’ll get an email for this too). Please remember to check your email on Dec 1; we cannot draw names unless everyone has joined the Secret Santa group!
The reveal will be on Dec 19, 2024 (the 10TH KORRASAMI ANNIVERSARY!! ;DDDD!!). Post your work on Tumblr, and tag the person you got, so they’ll know what lovely work they got! Also, please tag ‘Korrasami Secret Santa’ so we can save these posts for the future :).
Please note that if you sign up, you HAVE to commit to making something. This is open to all creators, of any skill level, but please please make something if you sign up. You don’t wanna leave anyone hanging!
Last note- remember to message me on Tumblr and give me your email. That’s the way to sign up! :)
10TH KORRASAMI ANNIVERSARY BABEYY LETS FUCKING GOO!! ;DDDD!! ❤️❤️✨✨
LET'S DO THIS AND MAKE THIS THE BEST ANNIVERSARY EVER!! ;DDDD!! ❤️❤️🌈🌈✨
SPREAD THIS TO✨ ALL YOUR CREATOR FRIENDS!! ;DDDD!!🌈🌈❤️❤️🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
7TH YEARS IN A ROW LET'S FUCKING GOOO!! ;DDDDD!! ❤️❤️🌈🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈✨✨✨💐💐🎊🎊🎉🎉🥳🥳❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤍🖤🤎💖💝💗❤️❤️💙💜💙💜🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈✨;DDDD!!
#legend of korra#korra#asami#korrasami#lok#fanfic#fanart#korrasami secret santa 2024#10 YEAR KORRASAMI ANNIVERSARY LETS FUCKING GOO!! ;DDDD!!#cant believe i've been doing this for 7 years damn!! ;DDDD!!#LETS FUCKING GOOO!! ;DDDD!!
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hiii i hope ur doing well!! i hope i can request daddy kink seungkwan….. just so starved of dom kwan smut here
tags/warnings: smut, lil bit of pwp, boyfriend! seungkwan, soft dom! seungkwan, daddy! seungkwan, lingerie on reader, fingering, seungkwan sexy on 10 in this 😩, extreme overuse of pet names mostly from seungkwan (pretty girl, my baby, baby girl, etc.), some dirty talk, one mention of a size kink.. anon bestie what have you done to me 🥹😩
author’s note: hey bestie! thank you so much, i hope you’re doing well as well! ☺️ after that one post i made i got a lot of seungkwan requests and i promise i’ve seen them and i will write them! also adding my favorite seungkwan selcas ever for the extra feels cause he’s too fine and so daddy in these 🫦 also be on the lookout for my 1k celebration! 👀
you can’t help but admire yourself in the mirror, the peach colored floral lingerie sitting perfectly on every curve of your body, making everything pop so deliciously. so into yourself, you don’t notice your boyfriend opening your door, smiling at how stunning and charming you are.
“you’re beautiful, baby girl,” he muses approaching you, dropping his bags to the floor. he stands behind you, your back pressed against your boyfriend’s chest, his hands delicately touching your body, sending shivers up your spine and gasps out of mouth as he touches your panty-clad mound.
“shit,” you moan out as you tilt your head back, eyes fluttering shut as seungkwan continues to touch you through your panties, smirking at the wetness now coating the top of his index and middle fingers. “mmmh, d-daddy,” you whisper.
“what’d you say, honey?” he tilts you chin to look directly in his eyes, mischief and lust in them. you shyly whine back, “daddy,” and soon after his lips meet yours in a delicate, pillowy kiss. as you kiss, you don’t realize that seungkwan has worked off your bra, tossing it to the back of your room, hands shamelessly groping your breasts. you moan sweetly into his mouth, body begging for more of his touch.
“why don’t we get more comfortable baby?” he asks rhetorically, as seungkwan already walks you backwards, hands still roaming your panties and breasts until his legs hit the edge of his bed, sitting down and causing you to sit in his lap.
you can’t help the pulsating down there as you feel seungkwan’s hard on come in contact with the material of your panties. you wanted for your boyfriend to hurry up and put his dick inside of you, but you knew he was going to tease you first until he deemed you were ready.
“daddy.. i n-need you to touch me, pl-please,” you gasp, subtly grinding into his lap, but he stops your movement, holding your thighs in place as he insert a finger to pull your pretty panties to the side.
“such a cute little set you wore for me, my baby.. normally i would tear you sets, cause i couldn’t wait any longer,” he pauses smirking down at you, “but i wanna see you wear this more often.. you look so gorgeous in it,” he moans out as his fingers now come in contact with your wetness, pleasure continuously gushing out due to his praises.
soon a finger is inserted fully inside of you and you bury your face into seungkwan’s neck, more gasps and whimpers leaving your mouth. another finger comes into play, and seungkwan alters between curling and scissoring your clit, the motion having the right balance of rough and soft.
“mmm, daddy,” you whine as you press into his forearm. “you feel so good, please, please touch me more..”
“you want me to touch you more, pretty girl?” he asks and you nod your head frantically. nothing else mattered right now but how he felt on you. “can’t think of anything else but my touch can you? such a needy baby girl aren’t you, only thinking of daddy and how he pleasures you.. does daddy please you?”
“y-yes, daddy always makes me feel so g-good,” you bite your lip and you roll your hips to feed your desire to cum all over his body. “when i touch myself, i have to think about you.. your fingers feel so much better than mine.”
“hmmm, what else do you think about my baby?” seungkwan muses, definitely enjoying where this conversation was heading.
“i think about your voice, and how soothing, yet commanding it is.. telling me what to do and how to do it.. i think about how small i am underneath you, and how i love being wrapped around you.. i also love how you fit inside of me, i don’t think anyone else can fill me up the way you do. every time you fuck me, i nearly lose it.. you feel that good, daddy.. my pussy was made for you, mmm - ah!”
in the middle of your spiel, seungkwan speeds up his pace to where his fingers are thrusting in and out of you quickly, causing you to reach bliss and cum all over your panties, your arousal quickly leaking onto his pants. seungkwan sighs dreamily as he rubs your stomach, kissing your temple repeatedly.
“you did such a good job for me pretty girl,” he whispers into your ear, kissing the shell. “always such a good girl, especially when you come.”
“thank you daddy,” you sigh contentedly. “i love you.”
“i love you more, my baby.”
#svthub#seventeen smut#svt smut#seventeen imagines#seventeen imagine#svt imagines#seventeen scenarios#seventeen fanfic#svt fanfic#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#seungkwan smut#boo seungkwan smut#seungkwan x reader#seungkwan fic#seungkwan imagine#seungkwan imagines
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responding to @wonryllis cause i don’t wanna reblog ur post seeing as u tagged it to be deleted late
apologising for a mistake means taking accountability and learning from what you’ve done, it doesn’t mean ‘apologising’ then going on to say why you are wary or wtv of those groups of people.
you’ve said ur not religious but then hold something against muslims and i assume only muslims cause you’ve never mentioned any distaste to any other religion. imagine if i took what you said and changed muslims to another religion or specific group of people, you being cautious or having negative feelings towards people because they’re muslim is islamaphobic whether you like it or not.
and i’m honestly down right disgusted you bring in your support for palestine to justify your actions because what’s happening there is a humanitarian issue not a religious one also ignoring how a large position of palestine if christian so you’re reach for sympathy does not touch me.
you should’ve just deleted your previous reply to that anon, apologised to the other anon telling you they were uncomfortable with your response and moved on instead you literally put out ur opinion on a whole religious group. just because you’re not religious yourself doesnt excuse this, everyone has trauma but using it as a reason why you don’t feel comfortable with muslims is not it. by your logic do i not have a right to be offended on what u said?? or do i have to invalidate my feelings to valide yours, this is tmblr please im here to write and read not be cautious cause someone wants to hide their islamaphobia with trauma
i’m genuinely sorry you had to go through that because no one deserves it but i am not sorry in calling you out for what i saw you being, i never encourage people to send hate about other religions as i respect all religions or send hate directly to you but what other people do is out of my control.
next time before you wanna tell me to watch the weight of my words, don’t talk about a whole religion that doesn’t involve you.
anyways i’m going to bed now goodnight <3
#this is me being nice too#idc after this😭#ur actually a whole freak for using palestine and donating as a leverage like ?? thanks for being a human fucking being???#should we tell everyone? should we throw a party? should we invite bella hadid??
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I REACHED 1.5K HERE AND ON INSTA !! HERES A DTIYS FOR CELEBRATION THANK U GUYS
RULES AND CLEAR ILLUSTRATION DOWN BELOW !!
lyrics are from “underdog” by takayan !!
💙all that you gotta do is draw my version of leo and yuichi !
💙the pose, expressions, bg, and colors can be whatever you want‼️‼️
💙the only requirements are that you write the lyrics somewhere, have some extra panels, try to stay accurate to the designs, and include the portal ! somehow
💙use the #dj1500dtiys or tag me directly on ur entry !! if i don’t see it, please send it into my inbox bc i wanna see it !!!!
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.
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no deadline and no prizes ! this is just for funsies and also i’ll go crazy insane if anyone takes part in this /pos
also i put an insta filter on it that made the colors look SO GOOD but the quality got fucking SHOT ,,, so here look at it
#rottmnt#rottmnt leo#save rottmnt#unpause rise of the tmnt#tmnt#fanart#rottmnt fanart#yuichi usagi#dj art#leosagi#dj1500dtiys#dtiys#graves au
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how do you manage to get any followers or friends in the selfshipping community? is it just luck?
for months i’ve been trying to interact with others and follow people, engaging with stuff like ask games and hosting reblog games, but when i try to share any artwork or i reblog an ask game myself, its radio silence. like even in small discords i get ignored so bad
i don’t say this at all to be guilt tripping /gen, it’s genuine curiosity at how this stuff even works. like am i doing something wrong or is the community just like this?
here is my comprehensive and lame guide on How To Get Selfship Followers
step 1 - posting
so a lot of my posts are either kinda general or fun. folks I will not lie to you. these are all stupid shit that come to my mind on a day to day basis. for example, today, I thought, "man I'm such a loser I'm not in college like all my friends r" and then I was like "omg wait. i could make a post out of this" so I did that.
you also kinda gotta be conistent. so i try to post at least *something* everyday. even if its a reblog, tho, I don't reblog a lot of things other than ask games.
another thing with posting is that i do try to make a lot of community based content. so idk if yall remember but in the beginning of my account, I did the "things you can do if you have xyz f/o". i did like,,, I think almost 100 of those ?????? it was a lot. then I started making templates and I made some ask games and ofc I post a lot of general like,,, imagine stuff. oh also polls. people seem to enjoy polls.
step 2 - be positive
this is the big thing. as most of yall (hopefully) know, I do not fw proshippers !! but I don't talk about discourse unless its directly brought up. not only this, I put a big focus on just,,, being nice idk. like id like to think I'm a pretty down to earth person.
if you make a template and people tag you in it, say something nice! reply to peoples art, send in asks, things like that. i try to do my part in being nice. i also just like hearing about peoples selfships.
when people post promos and have the little "rb to be moots", reblog! when you come across someone having a bad day, maybe they made a vent or something, reply with a simple "I hope you feel better <3" or "your f/o loves you <3". things like that, ya know?
step 3 - have fun
genuinely. i post as much as i do because I like it. i didn't go into this thinking "oh... yea... I'm gonna get selfship famous..." like no I just wanna ramble somewhere bc none of my close irls r selfshippers.
you wont get popular or get followers because you grind out posts. literally one of my biggest posts on this account I wrote while I was half asleep one night and wanted to test out queuing on my account.
and in that regard, it is partially luck. i don't control what posts people do and don't like. sometimes I write up imagines and no one sees them. sometimes I write up a post saying "lol go kiss your fake boyfriend ooo smoochie smoochie" and that does numbers
step 4 - interaction
im only in two servers. one server (which was the first public server I think I ever joined ???? i could be wrong tho,,, bad memory blehg) that I don't own and then my own 18+ server. i don't think being in servers does anything,,, considering I'm only in one that isn't mine. i think its more like ,,, sticking to one or two places ?? like just being consistently in an area you're comfortable in.
i guess you gotta just find the right people ??? and like I mentioned, be friendly, but ya know. also I guess tags too? idk if you look at any of my regular posts I have 8 million tags on them. idk if that actually does anything or not because its kinda hit or miss sometimes.
i was gonna say something else but i forgot. see look listen I dunno how I got here but this is what I do ,,,, effectively nothing. also with the being kind thing, maybe this is how I am bc I'm pagan but I think that if you expect kindness back you wont get anything. sometimes its just nice to be nice. eventually you gain a reputation for being a nice person. you kinda have to not want that tho? like I don't see myself as particularly like ,,, super kind ,,,??? i just do what feels right.
step 5 - uhhhh idk im just rambling now
i guess i also went into this kinda like. damn sometimes this community is a cesspool of absolute meanie pants. i don't wanna be a Meanie Pants and just post my thoughts and the things I think about. i guess how I see it too is, I kinda like ? idk I think all these things anyways why not post them? kinda feels like a waste not to.
also ive been told my posts are pretty recognizable bc of how I format them ? my dividers and such. also tagging all of my imagines and stuff with my 🥀📜 emojis. i guess that helps too? because that's how I recognize certain accounts. "like oh there's them I recognize their dividers and their tags".
also you kinda gotta like,,, not let hate get to you. like have fun with it? i know that's hard, but, that's what you gotta do. when I get printer ink (bc. a hoe does NOT like buying printer ink) im printing out that fucking 8 mile long hate message I got sent. but also that's just the kinda person I am. like people being a dick and stealing my posts and telling me to swallow a glock 9mm doesn't upset me, im more like,, confused more than anything because never in my life have I ever sent hate to anyone. also I have had this "I do not care because you're some loser on the internet and you being an ass wipe is no where near as bad as the shit people have done to me irl" attitude.
TLDR; i dont think youre doing anything wrong because I don't exactly know what I'm doing right. i just... do... and sometimes, "just doing" is enough. maybe its luck, maybe I've been blessed by the tumblr algorithm and I've somehow figured it out, or maybe the community is just genuinely that bad and they pick favorites. maybe its all of the above! who knows. i try not to worry about it. i think at the end of the day, as long as you're having fun posting about your f/os and selfshipping, that's what matters.
alright thats all see ya. if you have any more questions feel free to ask however I fear I cannot answer them </3
#🥀📜#sorry that was so long#ill tag these with selfship tags incase anyone else was wondering#lachlan talks#lachlan rambles#self shipping#self ship#self shipper#selfshipper#selfship#selfshipping#f/o#f/o community#fictoromantic
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Incorrect Quotes Tag!
thanks for the tag, @ominous-feychild !
Rules are to use this generator with your characters!
Last time I did the cast of AGGTRH, so today… Interwoven!
Very Long so under the cut!
———
Kaiden: My goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough to one day surpass me. Felix: YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT EVERY TIME YOU BEAT ME AT CONNECT FOUR!
~~~
Li Hua: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.
~~~
Harper, watching Noha: Ah yes. The mysterious and beautiful Noha, so demure… Harper: …I wonder what sort of melodic sounds this wonderful being makes? Noha: *screaming*
~~~
Felix: This is a safety pin. *cuts off end* Felix: It is now a danger pin.
~~~
Evangeline: But that place is haunted. Noha: Ghosts prey on fear. Just be confident! Evangeline, marching into the haunted house I AM NOT SCARED! I AM NOT A PUSSY!
~~~
Kaiden: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case? Harper: wHat? Kaiden: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved. Harper: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?
~~~
Felix: Guess what number I’m thinking of. Mehri: 420? Felix: No, that’s really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously. Li Hua: 69. Felix: Yeah it was 69.
~~~
Mehri, texting Harper: Harper there’s a moth on the outside of the bathroom door can you get rid of it? Mehri: Pls hurry because I’m going to cry Mehri: Harper Mehri: Harper Harper: Harper is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth.
~~~
Kaiden, explaining why they are not allowed to cook: I put the noodles in the pot and put the pot on the stove and turned the burner on high. Turns out you don't put noodles in marijuana and I almost burnt the whole house down.
~~~
Kaiden: Hold the fuck up. Felix: Excuse me? Kaiden: I said hold the fuck up. Felix: Kaiden: I’m the fuck up, hold me.
~~~ Kaiden, shakily: Please, just tell me what the book is about. The plot, please. Lloyd, reading an annotation on the cover of a book, unfazed: A subversive masterpiece. A deep and touching story. New York Times Bestseller. Lloyd, now looking directly at Kaiden: Go fuck yourself.
~~~
Harper: *Takes a sip of milk and gags* Harper: Oh my god, is this expired? Harper: *Takes another sip of milk*
~~~
Lloyd: I have no respect for Santa. Don’t sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man.
~~~
Kaiden: *casually taking four stairs at a time* Evangeline, falling behind, taking two stairs at a time: Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fu-
~~~
Lloyd: You’re alive. Kaiden: No need to sound so disappointed.
~~~
Aleksi: I’m afraid of clowns. There, I said it. Noha: Aleksi, if you don't like clowns, why are you hanging with Felix?
~~~
Li Hua: The only thing keeping me from running away and hiding from society for the rest of my life is spite. I could disappear forever, but there are some bitches whose downfalls I have yet to witness, and I wanna be around when that happens.
———
no comment these are all canon 😌
Tag Game List! Lemme know if you’d like on/off <3
no pressure ofc:
@sableglass @dioles-writes @ash-thedrawer @allaboutmagic @paeliae-occasionally
@astor-and-the-endless-ink @vsnotresponding @nightlylaments @glbettwrites
@thebookishkiwi @verdant-mainframe @threedaysgross @fifis-corner @bamber344
and as always, open tag!
#writeblr#o(sea’s)#sea’s story 1#writers on tumblr#sea’s games#incorrect quotes#osea: the interwoven gang#osea: Lloyd#very proud of how this turned out 😌
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https://www.tumblr.com/gardensofivy/760120697566707712/where-is-the-fluff-i-am-sick-of-the-smut-what
i feel like i remember you talking about posts like this before.
it kinda irritates me that everyone on that post are so harsh about how they REALLY WANT FLUFF and are SICK OF SMUT
all my dash has been lately is fluff and i’m not complaining, i like every genre. maybe it’s their dash.
fanfic writers are writing what they want and i’m sorry that you don’t like it, but again, it’s out there, you just have to look. maybe they should look harder. do they know that there are tagging systems on this app + ao3 where they can search for fluff specifically?
i know first hand that it’s hard to write fanfic but can’t they at least try it out for themselves if they are really wanting fluff instead of complaining about it and how writers won’t give them exactly what they crave?
sorry for bringing this to you i just have no one to talk about this with 😭
don't apologize for bringing stuff like this to me. my inbox is always open as a rant space
I went to look up the post and it said that it was deleted (I was very curious to see the comments, but rip lmao) - but even just from that blurb of the url, I can definitely get a sense of the aggression against smut in the post
as far as the 'I hate smut, I want fluff' crowd - it feels like people who don't know how to navigate fandom spaces, but also people who are sexually repressed.
BECAUSE
from all my experience, especially recent experiences - smut fics will always be more popular. if people actually wanted fluff fics, or fics without smut, then my non-smut fics would be more popular. every single time one of my fics has smut, it will always be more popular.
a lot of the time, I regret not putting a smut scene a fic (especially toward the end) because I know that people will read through the actually interesting well-thought out hard work 'plot' part of a fic that I wrote in order to get to a pointless smut scene that I never intended to have there in the first place (as of right now, one of my biggest regrets is not putting a smut scene in Heaven's Gate to get more eyes on it)
it is my opinion that people are lying when they say they don't want smut fics. just straight up fucking lying. (or very few people are telling the truth when they say it, and then they don't seek out the fics they truly want)
Heaven's Gate - which is clearly tagged as having fluff got 11 notes in its first 24 hours
Need - which is tagged as smut/pwp got over 100 notes in its first 24 hours of being posted
yes, there are other factors to take into account, like the length, the gender of the reader character (which, don't even get me started on the 'GN afab' reader character thing - which is so fucking transphobic and misogynistic and rigid to the fucking gender binary it makes me wanna die), and the fact that Heaven's Gate is also marked as Hurt/Comfort and a lot of people in fandom these days seem to hate basic conflict in stories??? - but they are for the same love interest and they are posted for the same fandom
so to me, this is solid, concrete proof that smut will always attract a larger audience. every single one of my smut fics that exists in the same genre as a fic without smut has a larger audience
(unless it's a wlw fic, but again - that's a whole different story. cause don't get me started on the whole 'we need more sapphic stories' crowd who never fucking read wlw fics when they are posted)
I feel like this is really a two pronged problem
one: the recent Catholic sexual repression in fandoms (and in queer spaces/the internet in general)
two: people who love to complain but make zero effort to change the things that they complain about in fandoms (hecklers, in a sense)
the first one is something me and @nctzenkane have talked about at large. it's the "sex scenes are so unnecessary in movies" thing and people directly relating the things you ship to your morals - the idea that the kind of fanfiction you write and read is directly in line with your moral fiber as a person. these are known as thought crimes. which is a highly Catholic sensation
in Catholicism, it's the idea that God can see all and knows all, and therefore, thinking bad things is on the same level of sin as performing a bad act - so thinking about sex too frequently or thinking about harming someone is on the same level as physically committing a murder, and both of these things equally make you a bad person. (and so you need to keep your mind 'pure' for God.)
in modern times, it's the idea that associating with certain topics of fanfiction makes you 'sus' and an untrustworthy person, and that you are more likely to follow through with the bad acts that you read about - like rape, pedophilia, unhealthy age gape relationships, violent crimes, ect. - if you read about those things frequently. (which is untrue, for the fucking record.)
and for the hecklers... god.
someone talked about the sensation of how the pandemic caused this huge shift in fandom, and yeah - I felt it happen in real time.
people who formerly were never in fandom or saw it as a 'nerdy' hobby (people whose hobbies were based around socialization - like drinking and going to bars, etc. or younger people who were allowed unsupervised internet access for the first time) all flooded fandom spaces with 0 sense of fandom etiquette. those are the 'writing fanfiction is too hard so I'm going to harass experienced fanfiction writers' people.
they love to complain about things they don't like in fandom without doing anything to change those things - even if it's something as simple as blocking and following the right people to curate their feed or curating their AO3 tags. the other day I saw dozens of people on tiktok saying that they don't know what the 4 symbols in the corner of the fics on AO3 mean. A lot of people assumed that they were there FOR NO REASON. it made me want to start chewing on glass, no lie
anyway. the landscape of fandom right now is so... (sigh.)
#sundrop answers#anonymous#fanfiction#daryl dixon x reader#the walking dead fanfiction#daryl dixon smut
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