#i don’t think they ever used it in dha

[incorrectsibunaquotes]

We don’t talk enough about how love potions are canon in the Anubisverse

[crispyjenkins]

can you write jangobi - they have to team up together to save their dumbass kids??? and maybe their weapons get switched around so obi ends up shooting people with jango's westars and jango ends up stabbign people with the glowy murderstick???

(such a cute concept!! more mandalorian weapons flirting, more obi being a chronic ‘saber-dropper, more boba absolutely whooping anakin’s ass at hand to hand — obi really needs to step up the training there. i put this in the jar’kai canon divergence (first part here) because this prompt had interesting parallels. you get a whopping 2,000 words!!  still not over lightsabers being called “glowy murder sticks” fandom peaked like five years ago and also I’M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG i was going to write this on friday and then fiori and i got into it about dha kar’ta and i’m ruined. anyways have some competence kink.)

  "We really must stop meeting like this."

  Jango growls and slams a new charge into his blaster, like it will prevent him having to turn around and acknowledge his newest headache. "I don't need your help, Kenobi," he grits, as he dodges a piece of the falling ceiling and ducks behind the barricade block Kenobi is crouching against, hands as loose as the smile on his face.

  “Oh, no, I’m sure you have it well under control.” 

  An explosion rocks the warehouse, clouds of duracrete dust whipped into their faces by the evening wind; Jango is thankful for his helmet’s respirator, but Kenobi doesn’t even seem bothered. They’re in the middle of karking nowhere in the industrial district of the planetoid Odos, where no one in their right mind is outside after midday for the wind storms, and Kenobi’s appearance confirms Jango’s suspicions that this mess is jetiise related osik.

  “Where’s that foundling of yours?” Jango demands, popping up over the barricade to take a shot at the scaffolding where a human bounty hunter had managed to get the drop on him. 

  Kenobi hums and closes his eyes, leaning his head back against the barricade like the building isn’t currently threatening to come down on them. “I imagine he’s about where yours is. I’m sorry to say that it seems Boba has been caught up in my padawan’s first mission as a knight.”

  Dropping back down next to him, Jango has to resist putting his westar-34 to Kenobi’s head. “That seems to be going well.”

  “Yes, well, you know Anakin,” Kenobi says easily, smiling wider as he opens his eyes. He raises a brow at Jango’s blaster aimed suspiciously in his direction, but there is no fear in his expression, and Jango wishes he had the time to show him just why there should be. And then out of left field Kenobi asks, “You have two of those, yes?”

  And Jango doesn’t know what the kriff to say to that. Are jetiise even allowed to use blasters? 

  He glances down and notices that Kenobi doesn’t have his jetii’kad on his belt or in his hand, not a visible weapon on him, and suddenly the hiding behind a barricade makes a lot more sense. 

  “Where’s your ‘kad, jare jetii?”

  Kenobi sniffs in offense, tugging Jango to the side to avoid a blaster bolt fired from above. “Well, that’s hardly fair, I did have it, before your friends upstairs blew up the wall.” Jango just growls and takes out the ‘friend upstairs’, watching with satisfaction as they drop three stories to land in a heap on the duracrete. 

  Kenobi looks impressed, stirring something warm in Jango’s chest, like his stupid heart wants to do anything to keep that expression on his face. So of course Jango burns the thought and tells his heart to shut the kriff up.

  “Only until I get Boba back,” his mouth says without his permission, yanking his second westar out of its holster and holding it out to Kenobi grip-first. He’d be concerned about the jetii using mind tricks on him if he didn’t still have his beskar helmet, but he’s tempted to still shoot him anyways.

  Every year under Jaster’s tutelage screams at him as Kenobi takes the blaster, oh Force he hadn’t even let Sheeka touch his westars—

  “Only until we get Boba back,” Kenobi agrees, a strange pinch between his brows as he looks down at the blaster for a long moment. Then he switches off the safety and it’s like nothing had ever crossed his face as he smiles cockily sideways at Jango. “Well, shall we?”

-

  Jango comes to learn that Jedi aren’t forbidden from using blasters, but he sees why they shouldn’t.

  Kenobi cleans the scaffolding of four Odos weapons dealers in a single burst, ducking in a fluid motion to dodge the counter attack before popping back up, firing Jango’s westar exactly as it’s meant to be: in ferocious volleys that would melt other blasters. And the implication that Kenobi has had experience with multiple kinds of blasters makes his throat go dry.

  Crouching back down, Kenobi clicks out the charge pack and slips a new one in, that Jango hadn’t even seen him take from his belt. And then the jare karking Jedi jumps over the barricade and sprints for the humans knocking their way into the warehouse. 

  Jango finally gets his head out of his ass and says kriff it, following Kenobi over the barricade and kicking his jetpack into flight, covering the crazy Jedi from above. Not that Kenobi seems to need it, easily alternating between the westar and hand to hand, moving almost too fast for Jango to be sure he doesn’t accidentally shoot him.

  An absolute hulk of a Weequay manages to clock Kenobi in the face, sending him skidding back a few feet before Jango can put a blaster bolt through his head. Kenobi wipes his face on his sleeve, smearing blood on the white of his armour, and it’s as if every Mandalorian that’s ever marched away* is screaming “this one!” in Jango’s brain; he nearly flies into a column and decides it’s safer to be on the ground until he can somehow get the image of an angry, bloody Kenobi out of his head.

  No sooner are his boots on duracrete that a human yells and throws himself at Jango, and they must be smuggling spice as well as weapons if they think trying to use their fists against full beskar’gam is a good idea. The human goes down in three hits, just in time for Jango to see the Weequay get another lucky blow, shooting Kenobi’s shoulder to make him drop the blaster.

  Jango!” Kenobi shouts, dodging the Weequay’s fist, and oh, they’re on a first name basis now?

  But Jango tosses him his blaster like sharing weapons on the battlefield isn’t frowned upon for being too intimate, and watches Obi-Wan fire from his left hand with the same ease as his right, before Jango has his own Weequay to worry about.

  It’s only when both he and Obi-Wan manage to push their assailants back enough that they all spill out into the freighter depot that Jango realises he now only has his vibroblade and flame thrower, the latter of which he can’t use without having to worry about Obi-Wan.

  “Wait,” Jango says, kicking a human in the chest and sending them flying. “Where’s that commander of yours.”

  “Ah,” Obi-Wan winces, somehow having the presence of mind to both shoot and look guilty. “I should technically not be helping my former padawan on his mission.”

  Another dumbass father, then. Jango snorts, using his jetpack to hop across the depot and stop a human from running away, sticking them through the throat with his vibroblade. “Then why the kriff are you here?” he taunts, and then immediately almost gets shot, because Obi-Wan laughs and shouts,

  “Boba called me!” 

  Jango curses every Kyr’tsad commando and Jedi he can remember the name of, because it’s their fault his life has played out in a sequence of events that has somehow landed him here, noticing Obi-Wan’s ‘kad on the ground and picking it up. It’s a little charred and could use a wash, but doesn’t appear to be broken. 

  He doesn’t have time to decide if he plans on hurling it back to Obi-Wan before a vibroblade is shoved in his face, barely missing scratching his visor, and Jango doesn’t think as he flips the jetii’kad on, relieving the human of their entire arm. 

  Oh, he likes this weapon.

  The beskad is not Jango’s favourite weapon by a long shot, he’ll take distance weapons over up close and personal any day, but he can’t deny the effectiveness in such situations where he’s stupidly given and/or thrown his blasters to a kriffing Jedi. Fair’s fair, he supposes he gets to use Obi-Wan’s weapon until they find Boba, equal exchange and all that.

  He’s just thankful there aren’t any other Mando’ade around to witness it.

-

  When the ground is littered with bodies and every muscle in Jango’s body screams for rest, Obi-Wan is staring at him. 

  He still has the westar, held loosely enough that the Odus winds buffet it to match the hair that Obi-Wan had cut since their last meeting. He watches Jango with a complicated expression from several yards away, dried blood on his upper lip and Jango’s blaster in his hand, and those taab'echaaj'la Mando’ade* are yelling at him again, 

  Jango powers down the ‘kad and breaks them from their reverie, Obi-Wan blinking back to himself and offering Jango an unsure smile. 

 “Is it safe now?”

  Jango startles at Boba’s voice and quickly searches for the source, only letting out his breath when he finds his boy peeking down from the hatch of the fighter closest to them. Obi-Wan’s foundling pops his head out of the same hatch, and Jango shouldn’t even be surprised anymore.

  “Obi-Wan!” Anakin says cheerfully, swinging down from the fighter to trot over to his former master, his new knight hair looking rather unfortunate all stuck up with blaster smoke like that. 

  Boba follows easily, not looking even a little bothered by the day’s events and comes to stand next to Jango while Obi-Wan frowns at Anakin’s fresh black eye.

  “And what’s this?” he questions, reaching up to Anakin’s face before the foundling shrugs him off. 

  “‘Ran into Boba. He didn’t recognise me.”

  “He was wearing a mask!” Boba protests, making an aborted gesture to the bodies of the weapons dealers and scowling. “He needs to learn more hand to hand combat.”

  Obi-Wan laughs at that, then seems to realise he’s still holding the westar and abruptly stops. He clears his throat and quickly brushes the dirt from the blaster with his robe, then spins it around to face Jango grip-first. As if he hadn’t just cleaned Jango’s blaster in front of both their younglings. 

  Boba looks between them quickly, lips parted in surprise, and Jango really doesn’t know what to tell him. So he does the only thing he can think of and wipes the soot off Obi-Wan’s ‘kad with his cloak, closing the space between them to hold it out to him pommel-first.

  Obi-Wan blinks, looking from his ‘kad to Jango’s face, and, well, that certainly answers the question of him being aware of weapons courting. Jango takes his westar back and holsters it, still holding the ‘saber expectantly as Anakin stares insead at Obi-Wan’s limp right arm.

  “Master, are you bleeding?”

  Something icy lodges in Jango’s throat, but doesn’t get the chance to repeat the question as Obi-Wan looks down at himself and promptly tips forward into Jango’s chest with a muttered,

  “Oh, goodness.”

  Anakin yelps and leaps forward to help Jango catch him, and Jango really wishes just about any other Jedi had saved him from the Bando Gora, because they wouldn’t give him heart attacks. 

Mando’a: jetiise — Jedi pl., sing. jetii jetii’kad — lightsaber, lit. “jedi saber” jare — someone taking a life-threatening risk, not a compliment; similar to kamikaze but not a direct comparison. beskar’gam — Armour made of beskar, “Mandalorian Iron” that was actually probably a steel alloy. Kyr’tsad — Death Watch, lit. “Death Society” beskad — traditional curved Mandalorian saber Mando’ade — Mandalorian, lit. “Child of Mandalore”

*based on the Mando’a word for the dead/deceased “taab'echaaj'la”, or “marched far away”, best explained in the Mando’a tribute to dead comrades, “not gone, merely marching far away”. the idea of Mandalorian ancestors gets sketchy when lineages aren’t like. a thing. but yeah, every Mando that’s walked the path is telling Jango to climb Obi like a tree.

[readerinsertz]

Omfg I love your reader inserts! Can I get an Alpha! Bokuto Kōtarō x Omega! Fem! Reader? A scenario where Reader-chan goes to Nekoma and is the male volleyball team’s manager, reader chan gets stuck in heat and Bokuto gets jealous of Kuroo trying to help reader-chan? Smut would be nice but it doesn’t have to be fam! Have fun!

Rating: Explicit, MDNI

Genre: Omegaverse AU (Alpha!Bokuto, Omega!Reader)

Word count: 7.4K

Warnings: 18+ content, MDNI, afab!reader, heat sex, fingering, bokuto being whipped for you, soft sex, biting, doggy, okay maybe not that soft, knots

AN: I made it extra smutty since this was requested a while ago!!

 You could tell before you had fully sat down for Registration that it was going to be a bad day. You had only just woken up on time, having forgotten to plug your phone in last night to recharge, you’d left your lunch at home and didn’t have enough money to buy some at the cafeteria. You forced the fiercest scowl on your face, learnt from fellow Omega Yaku to ward away anyone who wanted to talk to you. You were definitely not in a talking mood.

“You okay, (Name)-chan?” A quiet voice spoke, your aggravation melting away as Kenma asked about your well-being.

“I’m as good as my current circumstances allow me to be,” you told him, pouting as you were forced to remember how horrible your week had been. Due to the harsh rain and living on the first floor, your apartment had been flooded quite badly. Thankfully, the landowner was getting it under control and wouldn’t be charging but you, and the rest of the first floor, had been forced to move out of the building. You had moved into a cheap flat but since you hadn’t had much time to pack, you’d had forgotten a lot of your things. 

“Do you know when you’ll be able to move back in?” Kenma asked, golden eyes worried.

“Hmm, probably not in the next week or two, there’s going to be a lot of renovation from water damage,” you relayed what your landowner had told you when you had rung her earlier.

“What about your,” Kenma’s eyes swept across the class to make sure no one was listening in on your conversation and moved closer to you, “Suppressants?”

In your haste to pack enough clothes, toiletries and technology you didn’t want to get water damaged or stolen, you had forgotten to grab your Suppressor Pills. For pretty much any Omega living in Tokyo, they would have been one of the first things packe. You, however, had gone to a small middle school in the Miyagi Prefecture that had had a very small number of Alphas in attendance. As a result of the limited interactions with the other Designation, you hadn’t really needed Suppressants. When you had chosen to attend Nekoma High in Tokyo, which was bound to have a much greater population of Alphas than your previous school, you had decided it would be best to go onto the medication. The first year of High School had been split between managing the Nekoma Volleyball Team and testing out different types of Suppressants. It had only been at the start of the second year, after almost giving up trying to find medication that worked for you, that you’d finally found Suppressants that didn’t make you feel nauseous or had your moods constantly swinging from high to low. Unfortunately, the few months you’d been on the Suppressants hadn’t been enough for them to be given enough importance that you would remember them in your travel packing list and so you had left them in your flat. Your flat that was currently inaccessible… For the next few weeks.

“Eugh, don’t remind me about that problem! I tried to swing by to grab them but I wasn’t allowed entrance- they said that the water may have damaged the structural integrity of the first floor and it’d be too dangerous for a ‘small Omega to go in’,” your face turned into a nasty frown as you quoted to your fellow Omega what one of the construction workers had told you, “so I’ve not been able to get them. I’ve had to make do by rolling as much Scent Blocker, which I had to buy from the pharmacy ‘cuz I forgot that as well, as is physically possible on all my Scent Glands.” Your frown turned into a grimace as you recalled the chicken dance you were forced to do every morning to dry the amount of Scent Blocker applied to your body. 

“Isn’t there anyway you can go buy some more Suppressors? I’m not sure how much longer you’ll remain out of Heat, especially since you’ve been on them for a few months now,” Kenma mused. You just sighed at his suggestion and rested your head on your folded arms on the desk.

Whilst Alphas and Omegas had to first go to their local doctors to discuss going on Suppressors and trailing ones that worked well for them, once they had decided on a Suppressor type they could set up a standing order for that prescription and collect it over the counter at a pharmacy of their choice. As you had had bad reactions to the most common Suppressors, you had been forced to use a type that was produced in smaller batches. A limited number of pharamices stocked those pills and only one was reasonably close. The owner of that pharmacy was an Alpha that still had archaic views on Alphas and Omegas and the roles of each Designation. 

“The Suppressors I’m on aren’t ones that are made in huge quantities. If I go to her and ask for some emergency Suppressors since I’ve left my previous prescription at home, she’d probably spend an hour lecturing me on how all Omegas are unreliable, knot-driven beasts that spend most of their time thinking about Alphas instead of taking their pills. She won’t even listen to my reason!” 

Kenma regarded you with sympathy. Since he was on the most common Suppressant, one you’d had reacted to with severe cramps and vomiting, he couldn’t just give you his and get another month’s worth from a pharmacy that wouldn’t judge. The male’s eyes widened as he thought of a temporary solution and moved to his bag. Struggling for a second, he untied the jumper that his alpha, Kuroo, had given him that morning. 

“Here, it should cover your scent and give other Alphas second thoughts on approaching you.” You smiled your gratitude and quickly pulled it over your head. Unlike many Alpha-Omegan mates, Kuroo and Kenma didn’t mind if their scents weren’t just on their mates- the entire volleyball team were like this- so you’d often been given articles of clothing from Alphas who had mates to ward off any bothersome Alphas. Before you could discuss anything else with Kenma, the teacher walked in and your class fell silent.

Sweat beading along your hairline had you huffing and quickly swiping it away. The sun was blazing down on the gymnasium but the team you managed were dedicated to training and so you had been forced to endure the heat with them. Not that you could say, with all honesty, that you really minded since the Fukurōdani team had come to practise with your team. You looked up just in time to see the Alpha Captain spiking the ball, it bouncing on the shiny floor before Yaku could get to it. Your gaze remained on the third year, taking in how his muscles flexed as he moved around the court. Even though he was on the opposing team, you couldn’t help the smile as he scored another point- or maybe it was because of his cute celebration. 

“Ho, ho, ho, what prey has caught your eyes?” Kuroo asked, sneaking up on you in your brief lapse of attention. He had wanted to sit on the sides and observe his team to locate any big weaknesses in their teamwork or form so wasn’t on the court for the friendly game. Tracing your stare back to where you had been looking at, Kuroo’s smirk widened. “Cute, our lil’ Queen has had her interest piqued. And by a bird, no less- at least it’s a bird of prey. I’m sure he’ll be able to handle your claws.” Kuroo curved his hands to resemble claws and winked at you. You scoffed and rolled your eyes at his antics.

“Just because we’re members of the Nekoma Volleyball team doesn’t mean we’re literally cats, Kuroo!” You side-eyed him. “I still don’t know why you know the term for a female cat.”

“I’m in Class 5, y’know, a college preparatory class.”

“Yeah, but you’re you! You know the full word of DHA but don’t know that sleeping without those pillows over your head will cure you of your serious bed hair.” You stood on tip-toes to pull at a strand of his black hair. The two of you both jumped apart at the louder than normal sound of a volleyball hitting the floor. Looking over you saw how Bokuto was glowering in your direction, though he seemed to be staring at Kuroo. The cold look he had on his face instantly melted when your eyes met with his and he gave you a beaming grin. You tucked a piece of hair behind your eye and shyly glanced down at the gym floor. Whilst you would have normally sent the male a smile and a wave, Kuroo standing there, no doubt observing you two, had you feeling more timid than usual.

“I’m sure, if you ever get tired of this dancing around each other, you could just go over and declare your want to Court him,” Kuroo spoke, your eyes bulging and heat blooming on your cheeks.

“Kuroo! Oh my God, why-what-would?!” You spluttered out. 

“What?” Kuroo shrugged his shoulders. “I thought you were all about being a progressive Omega. It’s not a bad thing if an Omega starts a Courtship- it’s the twenty-first century after all.” The captain studied you for a few seconds. “If you’re afraid of rejection, I’m sure that won’t happen; you two have been flirting with each other since the end of your first year- how many times has he taken you out for ice cream after a joint practice? Bo is clearly into you, look he’s puffing his chest out for you.” Peeking up you saw that Bokuto was, indeed, puffing his chest up, the action of an Alpha wanting to impress an Omega. 

“Shouldn’t you be, I don’t know, watching your own team for errors?” You prompted him. Kuroo narrowed his eyes at you, not liking your stubbornness. He was tired of having to spend ages listening to Bokuto gush about you plus Kenma had told him that you often texted him about the owl-looking captain. It was clear that you both had a lot in common and had great chemistry but you came from a traditional family who would disprove of you, an Omega, making the first move. It also didn’t help that you both went to different schools and were on rival teams- he had barely been able to hold back the first time someone remarked on how close you were to the Fukurōdani team, especially their captain. Since you were similar to Kenma, you wouldn’t want that type of negative attention directed towards you. 

“This isn’t over,” Kuroo warned, pointing a finger at you and turning to head back to the bench. You just laughed and moved to one of the open doors, intent on refilling the team’s water bottles to give to them once the set was over. 

Luckily, when you returned from filling the canteens up, you were greeted with a soaring Bokuto spiking the ball down onto the floor. The sheer power behind the ball forced it through Lev’s block. When both of his feet were on the ground, Bokuto knelt down and punched the air with both fists. The whistle blew as the first set went to Fukurōdani. Bokuto stood up, arms still curled not noticing how you stood in the doorway, transfixed over how his top clung to his frame in such a way that you could see the silhouette of his back muscles. 

As he walked off the court he brought up the hem of his blue shirt, using it to wipe off the sweat on his forehead, and revealed part of his six-pack. The simple action had you flustered, hand coming up to fan your face for what seemed like the fifth time in a minute. You had asked a few members sitting on the bench earlier if they had thought it was hot but all had replied with a ‘no’. The air-con and opened doors helped to keep the heat from becoming sweltering yet you still felt like you were trapped in an inferno. Before you could dwell on your sudden heated body, your team was huddling in front of Kuroo on the edge of the court and you jumped back into action.

The box filled with the drink canteens dug painfully into your hip as you shuffled to where the sweaty players were gathered. In your peripheral vision, you saw a flash of white dart forward and what sounded like the start of your name being yelled before Kuroo sauntered over and grabbed the heavy box from your grip. Normally, you would have spat at him that you could manage. Instead, you gladly handed the crate over your arms feeling both weak and heavy simultaneously.

“You okay?” The Alpha asked, worry flitting through his face as he took your flushed appearance in and how you leant on him slightly. His eyes did a quick sweep over the gym to see if there were any Alphas loitering- there had been a few occasions where a knit of brave, or dumb,  Alphas had turned up during practice to flirt with the Omegas on the team- but stopped at the pouting Bokuto. Akaashi was holding the back of his shirt to stop him from doing whatever the captain wanted to do. Judging by how his body was tilted in your direction, Kuroo assumed the Alpha was jealous of how close you were standing to him. Kuroo didn’t take it to heart that Bokuto, in his obvious attraction towards you, thought of him as a rival even though Kuroo had his own mate. He was an Alpha too and occasionally found himself growling low when he saw another Alpha near Kenma.

“I…I feel a bit faint,” you muttered, bringing his attention back to you. Frowning and handing the drink box to his Beta, Kai, he brought the back of his hand to your forehead and felt your temperature. 

“You’ve got a bit of a fever,” Kuroo muttered, hand sweeping to check your cheeks. There was a loud shout and the sound of heavy footsteps before Bokuto was next to you.

“Are you okay, (Name)-chan? Do you need to go to the infirmary?” The captain bombarded you with questions, fretting over your weak body. By this point, most of the team members had noticed your situation and were looking in your direction, Bokuto’s loud voice not helping. Your cheeks just burnt more at the extra attention. 

“I’m f-fine, Bo-kun.” You didn’t see how he lit up at the nickname, chest puffing out instinctively. “It’s probably because I haven’t had much to eat, I left my lunch at home,” you sheepishly admitted. Immediately, you heard the chirping sounds of several Alphas, an instinctive response to situations where harm could or had occurred to an Omega- the team still teased Lev over the time he had spent five minutes chirping and cuddling Yaku when his mate had gotten a paper cut. 

“(Name)-chan, that’s bad for your health,” Kuroo gently chided. Seeing that the teams were beginning to get agitated from sensing an Omega in distress, Kuroo ordered Kai to lead Nekoma’s team back onto court whilst he dealt with you, hoping that the Fukurōdani team would follow suit. Thankfully, the males fell back into place on court though Bokuto remained by your side, waving off his teammates’ questions. 

Kuroo led you to the locker rooms, knowing you wouldn’t be a fan of the attention. It was an indicator as to how out of it you were when you didn’t protest as Bokuto’s arm wrapped around your waist to help support you. You leaning into the other captain’s touch had the messy haired male raising his eyebrow but not saying anything. Kuroo instead focused on rummaging through his locker to find the spare snacks he kept there. You laid on the floor, half of your body on Bokuto as he propped you up whilst leaning his back on the wall. When Kuroo turned back, brandishing the packaged food, he noticed the white with black and gold striped jacket that your lower half was sat on; he couldn’t help but smirk at how the other Alpha’s attempts to keep you as comfortable and off the cold, hard ground as possible. 

“Here, (Name)-chan, I’ve got some food. You should’ve told me about your lack of lunch, I’d have happily shared my bento,” Kuroo gently scolded. Bokuto growled deep in his chest, arms flexing around you to pull your back closer to his chest at Kuroo’s words. Even in jest, it was a bad idea to insult the mate of an Alpha, or an Omega as Kuroo came to find out when Kenma jumped onto a female Beta for insulting his mate’s unruly hair. 

Kuroo opened the wrapper to prevent a fight. A conflict with his friend was not going to help you at all. As his Alpha was howling at him to help an Omega in distress, one, who though not his mate, was a member of his Pack, Kuroo didn’t think before he held the dry cracker up to your lips. 

Before your lips could even open to accept the food, a hiss came from Bokuto, his eyes almost glowing in the state he was. 

“Bo! She needs food, calm yourself!” Kuroo snapped at his friend. He could see your body respond to the aggression that was coming from the two males. The feline captain knew that Bo wanted you to be his mate but had thought that, since you were in his Pack, the other Alpha would be respectful enough to let Kuroo help you. At the very least, he had assumed that Bokuto would swallow his instincts if only to make you feel better quicker.

A whimper left your lips, your eyes scrunching at the fire that was flooding through your body. Immediately, you had both Alphas’ attention on. You wiggled in Bokuto’s lap, the male groaning at the feeling as your weak hands tried to pull off your tracksuit jacket. A more pathetic whine fell from your lips when you were unable to pull the zip down. The Alpha you were in the arms of being to cluck to comfort you. 

“Off, puh-lease,” you moaned out, just having enough function over your hands to tug on your jacket. Instantly, Bokuto was unzipping the clothing but stilled when the zipper was almost at the end. 

“Are you sure, (Name)-chan?” He asked, uncertainty dancing through his eyes. Even now, he didn’t want to take advantage of you. You nodded your head violently, regretting it when the action made the room swim. With as much care as he could, Bokuto took off the offending material. The moan you let out once the air met your flushed skin had both males blushing. Deciding that just having your jacket off wasn’t enough to cool you down, you pulled your black undertop as high as possible, the edges of your bra just peeking out. Bokuto swallowed and forced his gaze away from your stunning body

The owl-like captain clenched his jaws shut, eyes scrunched closed as he tried his hardest to reign his inner Alpha in. He didn’t understand why he was responding so intensely to Kuroo or you; he had been around you many times before and had had to witness your Pack cuddle you but had learnt to restrain himself. The saccharine scent that wafted into his nose had Bokuto’s eyes flying open. From your previous year testing out Suppressants, he had become accustomed to your lavender scent, though it had become diluted from your medicine. But now, it was a lot stronger than he had ever smelt.

“I… I think she’s… she’s in Heat,” Bokuto informed Kuroo.

“That’s impossible, she’s on Suppressants,” Kuroo told him, staring only at your flushed form. You had a light sheen of sweat on the skin bared to the air and you were panting. Heat would also explain your sudden spike in temperature. “Unless…. Shit!”

“What?” Bokuto asked, cradling you as gently as he could and cooing down at you when you whimpered in pain. Without thinking, one of his large hands slid over your shirt to rest on your right side, rubbing circles into the flesh. It calmed you down, your eyes sliding closed and your body turned to lay chest to chest with Bokuto. 

“Her apartment got flooded last week, she had to vacate it. (Name)-chan forgot to pack her Suppressants. She told us she was going to go back and get them yesterday but obviously she wasn’t able to,” Kuroo spoke softly, taking your appearance  in. He ignored Bokuto’s warning grumble, the male stroking your head to try and ease your pain. “Stop breathing her scent in!”

“I can’t help it!” Bokuto whined, nose pressed into the crown of your head. “She smells so good.”

Kuroo sighed, hand brushing through his black hair as he tried thinking of something. From the brief glimpse he had got, your pupils were extremely dilated and you had stopped responding to them in anything other than monosyllabic noises or through your body. 

“Did she come into school in Pre-Heat?” Bokuto’s voice was almost feral as he pictured all the Alphas leering at you. You mewled in his arms, worming your face into the crook of his neck.

“Bo, you really need to try and control yourself, she’s mainly reacting to you.” As he was already mated and your Pack Leader, your body was, at the bare minimum, not reacting to his Alpha scent. If your sudden Heat got too bad, you might start actively rejecting him since he wasn’t a viable Heat Mate.

A Heat, or Rut, Mate was typically an Alpha or Omega that stayed with another Omega or Alpha, helping them with their Heat/Rut but wasn’t their actual Mate. Heat/Rut Mates were becoming increasingly more popular, especially to the younger generations, as society changed with its civillisation’s evolving perceptions of Alphas and Omegas. This allowed Omegas and Alphas to not go through as many Heats/Ruts in as much pain without having to first find their Mate. 

“Does she have a Rut Mate?” Bokuto wheezed out. The look on his face betrayed his fear that you did have someone to help you through this intimate time. Kuroo knew that, if you did, Bokuto would let you go to them even if it would pain him.

“No,” Kuroo shook his head, eyes wandering around the room. Thankfully, all the doors and windows were shut so your scent would remain locked in the changing rooms for about another half hour. 

“We’re gun’ hafta…. Hafta move her to a… Heat Room,” Bokuto grunted out, losing himself to your enticing scent. Heat Rooms were rooms found in almost all buildings from schools, workplaces and even in some shops which were completely sound and scent proof with locks on either side to prevent Alphas, or Omegas if it was a Rut Room, from getting in and mating with the in-Heat Omega or in-Rut Alphas. 

“There’s one on the other side of the sports field,” Kuroo told him. He stood up to peer out the window. “I can’t see any Alphas out there so I think her scent has been contained so far.” He moved towards you but halted when Bokuto growled a warning at him, eyes flashing. By now your slick had made your pants completely wet, your skirt dampening as your body continued to produce it, the short material not fully hiding the sweet smelling fluids that had stuck to the back of your thighs. 

“Did you hear that, sweet ‘Mega, we’re gunna… get you to a…a Heat Room,” Bokuto whispered to you, still struggling to control himself with your scent rolling over him. He trailed a hand fervently along your cheek, heart swelling when you turned your face to nuzzle into it, eyes opening to stare up into his.

“Alpha…please,” you begged, rubbing your thighs together to try and quench the need you felt. Kuroo turned, reaching out to you in order to take you from his friend to carry you to Nekoma’s Heat Room. To his surprise, he saw you extend your arms in Bokuto’s direction. 

Although it wasn’t under the best circumstances, Kuroo knew that this could be the push you two needed to get together. He forced his Alpha down, the animal inside of him ordering him to go and protect an Omega in his Pack, and turned to stare down at Bokuto. “She’s chosen you.” He hoped that Bokuto would understand what Kuroo was implying but by the grim determination that flitted through his face had Kuroo almost growling. Whilst it was admirable that Bokuto was silencing his Alpha and the black haired male knew that he could trust the other to get you safely to the Heat Room, Kuroo was sure that Bokuto would resist all your temptations and it would end with you two dancing around each other once again.

With little effort, Bokuto scooped you up, his arms also picking up his jacket that you had been sat on. Without even looking at it fully, he could tell it was sodden with your slick. Once you were securely tucked into his chest, the Alpha sending a small cluck to tell you it was all going to be okay, he strode out of the room. The feeling of the sun’s rays directly on your skin had a quiet whine falling from your lips. Bokuto hushed you, maneuvering you so that he held you with one arm, freeing his other hand so he could pull your top down and his sports jacket around your arms to protect you from the additional heat.

You don’t really pay attention to the walk to the Heat Room; there might have been a time or two where the Alpha carrying you stopped and growled at something or someone but you weren’t fully conscious of his actions. By the time he had reached the small building which would secure the Omegas and Alphas, you had begun to beg under your breath for him to take you. Him gripping the flesh of your legs and sides was the only response he gave you to your pleas.

The Beta nurse stationed at the Heat/Rut Room jumped up from the desk and took charge, ordering Bokuto to place you into one of the free rooms. He swiftly moved around your sweating figure, checking your vitals and asking questions to the Alpha that stood by your side, hand holding yours as he answered to the best of his ability. He watched on as the nurse managed to coax you to drink a full bottle of water and take a few bites of a Heat Bar- snacks packed with as much nutrients as possible to help an Omega through their Heat. When he deemed you as stable as he could get you to be, the Nurse moved to the entrance of the room, gesturing for Bokuto to follow him. The ace did so unwillingly, keeping his hand wrapped around yours for as long as possible. When you made a noise of protest, he stopped and pressed a kiss to the back of your knuckles, promising to be by your side as quickly as possible.

“You’ll have to get her to drink a full bottle of water once every thirty minutes. A Heat Bar should be consumed about once an hour. From what I’ve gathered, this is just a Flash Heat- normally when an Omega suddenly goes off their Suppressants they can get a Flash Heat. It’s not an actual Heat as it doesn’t last as long and while it does have similar symptoms, they’re not to the extremes that an actual Heat can produce.” The Nurse didn’t give Bokuto any time to respond, leaving the Alpha to stand there and nod dumbly. “I’m assuming that you’re on Rut Suppressors; you’re under twenty, so your sperm isn’t potent but use these anyways,” the Nurse thrusted a handful of condoms into Bokuto’s arms, ones specially designed to accommodate an Alpha’s knot. “I would predict her Flash-Heat should end in probably three or four hours so you won’t have to spend the night here. Just make sure she’s as hydrated as possible and also be ready to explain this when her Flash Heat does end, she’s probably going to be very disorientated.” The Nurse looked at Bokuto, an eyebrow raised when the Alpha made no move to go to the Omega in the room. “Aren’t you going to tend to your Mate?” 

“Ah, no, I’m not her Mate!” Bokuto yelped. “Not that I wouldn’t want to be her mate, I’d love to be her Mate, but she’s not mine.”

“Right. Look, there’s an Omega in a Flash Heat in that room who is quite clearly calling for you. Her symptoms are pretty extreme for a Flash Heat, the only reason why this one so closely resembles an actual Heat is because her Mate must have been around her.” The Nurse nudged Bokuto towards the room, nodding at the unsure Alpha. With a final explanation on how to lock the door from the inside, the nurse closed the door.

The strong scent of the forest and mint had your eyes opening to see Bokuto at the foot of your bed. Everything the nurse had done to stabilise you had worked and you were more coherent; if you wanted to, you could just spend the entire time just wrapped in the Alpha’s arms as his scent would be enough to keep you settled. The Nurse had advised it would be best to mate with him at least once to flush the Heat completely out of your system. Recollections of him looking after you came back to you and, as your Omega preened at how such a strong Alpha had helped you when you were unable to look after yourself, you knew you couldn’t deny her any longer. Just seeing Bokuto there had slick dripping from your hole. You saw how the Alpha gulped as you opened your legs, allowing the scent of slick to spread to him.

“(N-Name)-chan,” Bokuto began, eyes never leaving the wet spot on your pants. 

“Please, Alpha,” you begged. “Need you.”

In a trance, Bokuto walked over, his hand trailing softly along the skin of your leg as he climbed onto the bed and knelt over you. The skin where he had traced both cooled at his touch but was also set alight at the Alpha’s caress. Your thighs fall open to give him more room yet Bokuto’s hands remained fisted in the bed sheets on either side of your hips. 

“Tell me if you want me to stop, ‘Mega,” Bokuto breathed quietly, licking his lips as he saw how his voice affected you.

“Please don’t. Never stop, my Alpha.” The words broke through his restraints and the captain closed the gap between your lips. Your lips met in a frenzied manner, lips parting to let his tongue into your mouth. Your hands moved up his chest to tangle into his hair to pull him even closer. A growl left Bokuto’s lips as he dominated the kiss, drawing back to pepper kisses down your jaw. When his lips came to where your neck met your shoulder, Bokuto began to kiss the area, dragging his sharp teeth over the skin to leave it marked and you keening. As much as he wanted to, he wasn’t going to claim you fully with a Mating Bite when you were in the middle of a Heat. 

“Wish we could be d-doing this under better c-circumstances,” Bokuto told you, hands never stopping roaming your curves as if to reassure him that this was really happening.

Urgently, you tugged at the white hair at the base of his neck to guide him back up to your lips. Your tongues met in a dance of passion and when Bokuto pulled back, your teeth nipped his bottom lip to show your displeasure.

“Now, now, pretty Omega, behave,” Bokuto ordered, large hands squeezing your hips to drive his point across. You were unable to prevent your hips from bucking against him, your clothed arousal rubbing over the tent in his shorts and forcing a feral growl from him.

“You smell so fucking good,” Bokuto praised, words pouring out of his lips now that he no longer had to fight against his Alpha instincts. His hands pulled your shirt off of you, taking a few seconds to understand how your bra unhooked before it was sent flying to the floor in a similar fashion to your top. Immediately, his hands were cupping your breasts, pressing kisses to one nipple whilst his hand toyed with the other one. Bokuto’s calloused fingers had your head tossing back as he rolled your nipple between his volleyball-toughened fingers. At the sound of your gasp, Bokuto moved his head from where he was creating a hickey just below your left breast, directly over your heart, to ask you what was wrong.

“Sorry, my hands are really rough. I don’t want to hurt you,” the Alpha apologised, taking his hands off of your soft body to stare dejectedly at hands he deemed unworthy to touch you with.  You grabbed them, bringing one to your breast and pushing the other one under your skirt.

“I want to feel your fingers on my clit and curling against my walls until I’m hoarse from screaming your name, Alpha,” you whispered against his lips. You were answered with an unhinged growl. Bokuto’s eyes began to glow gold as he stopped trying to control his Alpha instincts.

His face lowered to your neck and began to leave love bites from the column of your neck to your breast, heaving as you tried to regain your breath. The sharp pricks from his teeth and how his lips kissed the marks better, switching to sucking hickeys into your flesh every so often had loud moans falling from your lips. Desperately, your hands bunched the fabric of his shirt and tugged harshly on it, making it clear you want it off. Complying with your non-verbal command, Bokuto leant back long enough to rip the shirt off his chest before bending back down and placing a kiss on your right left collar bone in response to your whine at the sudden distance. Bokuto couldn’t help the slight huff of amusement as he saw how badly you needed him to be close to you. 

Your breath hitched when you felt the Alpha’s finger press against the damp spot on your pants. The spike of pleasure as his hands brushed your clit had your fingers dragged down his broad back, fingernails leaving pink lines on the skin. Bokuto growled in his chest as he felt how wet you were from his ministrations.

“Fuck, you’re soaked,” Bokuto cursed as he felt your arousal. 

“Please, touch me,” you begged him, fingers curling into his biceps.

“I am touching you,” Bokuto smirked, pressing a quick kiss on your lips.

“Don’t tease me, not like Kuroo-kun.” Saying the other Alpha’s name was a mistake as the Fukurōdani’s captain ripped your pants off and threw them over his shoulder. Your cry of his name turned into a moan as two of his fingers immediately went to circling your swollen clit. The pleasure had your eyes rolling back and offering your hips up for more. Bokuto pressed his fingers down, gathering your slick in his fingers then pulled his hand away; he hushed you gently when you let out a whine of displeasure but was busy staring at his fingers that were spread apart, your slick clinging to his fingers. 

“Look at this, so wet, ‘Mega. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.” You moaned at his promise and wrapped your legs around his waist to try and persuade him to hurry up.

“Patience, (Name)-chan,” Bokuto chided. He sighed then added, “I really want to go down on you, oh, what a sight you’d be as I eat you out- your thighs tight around my head and my arms pinning your hips down onto the bed so I can pleasure you how you deserve.” You felt even more slick gush out of your needy hole at his words. “But, more than anything, I want you to feel better so we’ll leave that ‘till after you’re out of this Heat, how about that?”

Before you could answer him, Bokuto pushed two thoroughly slick-covered fingers into your pussy. You both groaned as he began to pump his fingers in and out, curling his fingers so the pads massaged that spot that had your thighs shaking. Cautiously, he added a third finger, keeping his eyes on your face to know if you were in pain. When you only wiggled your hips to encourage him to continue, he began to move them in and out again to make sure you were properly ready for his cock. 

“Alpha, p-please, need your knot,” you babbled, nails scratching from his shoulders to his elbows at the pleasure. Thankfully, Bokuto just wanted to make you happy so quickly complied. Within a few seconds he had shimmied your skirt down to your ankles and guided you to turn over onto your hands and knees into the Mating Position. After a few seconds of nothing, you swivelled your head to see him pulling his shirt over his broad shoulders and push his shorts down enough to free his erection. One of his big hands traced up your thigh, taking a second to grab one of your butt-cheeks in his hands, rumbling at how it fit perfectly in his hand. The non-verbal praise had you blushing and bending your spine to push your ass into the air more. When nothing else happened, the Alpha lost in a daze as he admired your pose, you wiggled your hips to make him move. A second later, his hand came down to softly spank your rear, though with not nearly the same power as his spikes as he didn’t want to hurt his Mate, telling you to behave. 

“(Name)-chan, one last time. Do you want this to happen?” 

“Yes, Bo-kun, I want you, wanted you for the longest time. Please, please give me your knot- I need it, please.” The Alpha scrambled to rip open the condom package and pulled it over his hard dick, cutting off your pleas as he pushed his length into you. Your head dipped back as you finally felt full, Bokuto pressing his forehead against your shoulder blades, similarly affected. Bokuto stayed still for a few moments, wanting for you to be fully adjusted to his size and girth before he started to really move.

“Ready?” The white-haired male asked as he brought his right hand closer to your own hand spread out on the bed sheet. Bokuto slid his fingers between yours to give you something to hold onto. Your hand latched onto his, giving it a quick squeeze.

“Yes, Alpha, I’m ready. Oh, and Bo? Don’t hold back.”

Bokuto pushed his head into the part of your neck that met your shoulder as he withdrew from your tight walls. When only the tip was still in your pussy, he slammed back in. You groaned as you felt the pleasure race through your veins at how he stretched you out perfectly. Bokuto began to speed up his pace, the animal inside of him caring little to draw it out or make it more romantic. The sounds of skin slapping against each other quickly filled the air as Bokut continued to slam into you; each time, the tip of his cock brushed against the spongy tissue that had your shaking arms soon unable to hold you up properly.

Unable to keep your top half up your stomach fell onto the bed, deepening the arch of your back.

Bokuto moved his hands to hold your waist, the two being large enough to wrap around the majority of your frame, and held you up with his muscles. Somewhere distant in your mind, you pouted at being unable to scratch your nails down his back but you didn’t dwell too much on it as Bokuto continued to fuck the Flash Heat out of you. Putting his weight on one hand, the ace moved his free hand to rub figures of eight on your neglected clit. Your hands curled into the sheet as you felt yourself rapidly approach your high, the swelling of Bokuto’s knot helping you reach your end. Your thighs spread out more, your back bowing further as you threw your head back from the pleasure coursing through your system.

“Alpha… Alpha please, g-gunna cum,” you wailed a warning. 

“Cum on my dick, ‘Mega,” Bokuto panted, licking a strip of flesh from your neck to the back of your ear. Your entire neck was turning purple from the amount of marks he had pressed into the flesh, the sight making the Alpha preen and his knot swell.

When the Alpha raked his teeth down the right side of your neck, you came with a shout, your Heat having enhanced everything by a hundred. Feeling your walls clench around him had Bokuto roaring and coming undone, his knot catching on the rim of your pussy and tying him to you. The Omega in you whined at how you couldn’t feel his cum spurt deep inside of you but just the feel of his knot expanding had you purring.

You started when you felt a tongue lave over some of the bites on your necks, Bokuto beginning to groom you. A giggle left your lips as you tilted your head back into him, not used to this. The volleyballer grinned at how at ease you were, the Alpha in him also content. Bokuto wrapped his arms around you so he could gently manoeuvre the two of you into a laying position, doing his best not to tug at where the two of you were connected to not overstimulate you. Once on your sides, the captain reached to the bedside table where the Nurse had left a few bottles of water and snack bars. He twisted the lid off, your half-shut eyes greedily drinking in how his muscles flexed at the action. When he pressed the bottle to your lips, you gulped down the water, only realising then how parched your throat had become from the Mating. When it was half empty, you pulled it away and nudged it to Bokuto to drink. He finished it up and threw it into the bin near the room.

“How long will your knot last?” You asked, sighing as his muscular arms draped along your waist. 

“Thirty minutes maybe.” You almost choked at how long it was- most knots lasted for fifteen minutes. For his to last so long showed just how strong an Alpha he was. “How are you feeling? Still feverish? Hungry?”

“I think the Flash Heat has gone, just you being near me was enough to drive most of it away,” you admitted, a hand absently trailing along the veins running along his forearm. The Alpha behind you nuzzled into the back of your neck. 

“That’s good, I’m happy that you’re feeling better. Maybe after this we can go get ice cream… y’know, to replenish the lost calories.” You couldn’t help but giggle at how he was still not asking you. Replaying what Kuroo had told you earlier, you decided to just go for it.

“Bo-kun, after this is over, would you let me… Court you?” 

“WHAT! NOO!” You cringed at his rejection but soon relaxed as he continued to shout. “I was supposed to be the one to ask you that! No the other way ‘round.”

“Bo-kun, do you want to Court me?” You asked with a giggle, interrupting his sulking moment. He instantly perked up, a massive grin on his face.

“I would be honoured to!” You smiled and leant in to press a chaste kiss on his lips.

“Don’t worry, I’ll tell the rest of them you were the one who popped the question.”

[wcamino-confessions]

delicats are so overrated (not like overrated i just dunno what word to use) like i feel like people only buy them cause they’re a popular species and people wanna have one. like i don’t think i’ve ever heard of the delicat lore and personally i think the species is not controlled that well especially in wa. it’s better in dha but like i feel like a lot of people fake myos and delicats and nobody really cares. delicats are a good species and all but i think it could be way better

.

[countessofbiscuit]

For the ask thing: N, T, W for tcw :)

ヽ(゜∇゜)ノ

N: Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom.

An appreciation for how massive the GAR really is — even if you subscribe to the ridiculously low-balled canonical size of the army, Fives has no reason to be chummy with everyone, ffs. If Anakin and Obi-Wan weren’t attached at the hip, Rex and Cody would hardly ever lay eyes on each other because there is such a disparity in rank (which should indicate a wildly different brief, but lol, this is TCW, where a marshal commander leads from the trenches and a mere captain has a seat at the strategy table). Obviously, this is just a personal gripe: I don’t actually care how people choose to approach the GAR in their stories, this is all about having fun … *I* just have more fun reading fics that are somewhat grounded in realities.

Mating cycles/heats — idk it just seems to me that this fandom with a plethora of alien species to play with doesn’t explore reproductive diversity and weirdness enough. 

Tolerance of clonecest (or whatever the hell you wanna call it, I use that term as shorthand; whether or not clone-on-clone maps onto IRL incest taboos is an essay for another day) — it’s just … it’s interesting to me that folks are more squicked by the possibility that two identical walking war crimes may frot because they have no one else and find some small measure of comfort in each other than, idk, the brutal realities of their lives where death, mutilation, and maiming are omnipresent — and this pervasive idea that clones are the Goodest Bois just out there wearing flower crowns and frying only droids all day makes me : \ This isn’t an exhortation for people to just ‘get over’ their squicks, but I do believe in examining them. 

T: Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

Headcanon: Cody is not a born-again Mando nor does he have any time for whatever watered-down Mandalorian bullshit filtered down from the Spec Ops wing. 

Question this headcanon first sought to answer: Why doesn’t Cody wear a kama? 

Id-scratching Justification: He loves this thighs.

Plausible Justification: He likes his legs to be unencumbered for roundhouse kicks. 

Solid Justification I’ve adopted from kaasknot: He earned his advanced-recon stripes in ARF not ARC school. 

My Meta Justification: The line clones do not adopt Mandalorian culture or language wholesale. 

I can’t even qualify this with “call me a RepComm snob, but …” because there’s even LESS foundation for the clones-are-vode idea in the new canon. From where would they have imbibed it? Outside the brief nod to Fenn Rau’s pilot instructor days on Kamino, new canon has not given us any reason to believe the line clones had Mandalorian trainers. And even if you discount new canon’s Jango-is-not-a-Mandalorian heresy, Kamino would not be at pains to emphasize their products’ connection to a culture so perennially at odds with their client (the Jedi/Republic). 

Upon deployment, really almost anything goes; but to say that clone culture wouldn’t hold up pretty firm in the face of other galactic cultures is a little demeaning, and however much people absorb in their search for identity, why would the clones have immediately glomped onto Mandalorian concepts? Why not Corellian? Or Kuatian? Or Chandrillan? Or hells, even Force traditions? Someone may have pointed out to the odd clone, “hey, y’all were made in the image of a notorious Mandalorian!” and set some wheels turning, and sure, Boil was resourceful enough to do his own homework and decide that he quite liked the precepts of a certain group of Mandalorian paramilitary extremists and wanted to slap their sigil on his helmet, but there’d be such a diversity of osmotic experiences in an army of millions/billions spread out across a galaxy that I simply cannot buy the idea that the clones all woke up one fine day thinking of themselves as Mando or Mando-adjacent. 

Setting aside new canon, which I find deathly dull, I prefer RepComm, with its assertion that many of the RCs are born-again Mandos after their sergeants (indeed, the Republic almost has a fifth-columnist problem in Spec Ops with the True Mando influence of the Nulls and certain Alpha ARCs), but the average line trooper view of that mentality is “y'all are a fucking cult.” 

The line troops would identify firstly as brothers and soldiers of the Republic, and they would’ve had close to 0 touchpoints with the Prime Clone. In fact, many might resent the connection, especially deeper into deployment (“What has Mandalore ever done for me? They're a bunch of loose cannons — if they aren't refusing to lend a hand, they're actively leading Sep militias for pay. Fuck the lot of them,” etc. etc.). It would have required a shitton of cultural and linguistic leakage from the Spec Ops wing for the bulk of the line troopers to know even more than a handful of words in Mando’a at the time of Geonosis. (I can believe swear words would’ve been adopted hella fast, if only to fill a vacuum.)

But again, the army is not a monolith, and I am fully on board with the idea that some Alpha ARCs made it their mission to teach Vode An to every unit they came across and the sheer epicness made it wildly popular, and that they spread certain words and concepts (vod, shebs, di’kut, Manda, oya, kara, kandosii, etc.) like a rash. Or a company or two got teamed with a Mando sergeant and two squads of RCs for a month and were belting out “Coruscant'a aden mhi” by the end of it. Or a division found itself with an Alpha-ARC XO when their Jedi General's CC got popped two weeks after Geonosis and Alpha-89 wouldn’t rest until every trooper knew Dha Werda Verda by heart and backwards. Just … show me the work — why should I accept that Bly speaks fluent Mando’a in the bedroom? WHY? Invest me in your clone-culture worldbuilding!

ANYWAY, to bring this back round to my die-on-this-hill headcanon about Cody … he doesn’t like kamas or feel compelled to wear one. Setting aside fun Cody-was-an-Alpha-trained-spec-ops-intern-for-a-month-and-hated-it backstories aside, I just don’t think the dude had the time of day for all that the Manda are watching us warrior brethren, hold your buy’ce high vode, one tribe one dream osik. His identity is wrapped up in overseeing the Third Army and serving as General Kenobi’s right-hand man; on balance (if we’re trying to be realistic, see: above), Cody interacts more with natborn officers and Jedi and fellow CCs than your average ground pounder trooper, and Obi-Wan and Republic officers certainly aren’t going to wax lyrical about Mandalore anytime soon. Obviously, Marshal Fucking Commander Cody is well within his rights to read whatever he wants and talk to whomever he wants and adopt whatever beliefs and language he wants. He has all the resources at this fingertips and clearance that would probably make a lot of natborn admins in REPINT weep. But I don’t personally see him going Mando, though it amuses him to watch Rex try :p The minute Cody earnestly starts using Mando’a in a fic, I’m usually out.

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

Hmm. I spent a good hour’s walk thinking about this and came up blank. Hate is a strong word anyway, and if it’s well-written, I can be sold on anything. But, I can almost guarantee I will never click on ABO unless it’s been recc’d or written by a friend. Not because I have any moral objection, just that it doesn’t interest me and good characterization is often lost to the mandatory ABO dynamics.

… on the flip side, I will ALWAYS click on Fuck-or-Die :D

[midnight-in-town]

That new Aoex chapter... I was actually hoping we were going back to the present, but I wasn't disappointed by what we got. Quite a bit of lore, a glimpse of the true forms of the demon kings, the birth of the Illuminati, and Shiro becoming a dad. There was a lot going on and I think it really helped to connect the past with the present. What was your favorite part?

MY, ANON, THIS CHAPTER WAS SO FUNNY! Like, the more I look at it, the more I think 50% of it is some sort of joke from Kato-sensei’s part??? And don’t get me wrong, I love it, but just, this was insane. 

First of all, can I just say that I truly enjoy Sensei keeping on destroying the very thought of Satan/Yuri as a healthy & romantic pairing with every chapter lately? 

Because, there is a lot of things I can agree to disagree with when it comes to opinions, but I can’t understand people praising abuse and seeing it as love, which was definitely the case between Satan and Yuri with some fans. 

Supposedly he loved her, but the moment she stops being useful to him?

He destroys her (soul?) as well in Gehenna. 

For real, I feel bad for Yuri: we know that she loved Shiro and that it was bad luck & complicated childhoods that kept them away from each other until the end and now she won’t see her sons growing up, the Order is blaming her for Satan & Lucifer’s chaos and she somehow died twice. 

And the reason she betrayed Shiro and the Order for? Dude’s blowing it in her face that “it’s her fault” and that she’s useless to him, also after he revealed he killed her foster family. So yeah, I truly despise Satan, he’s not made to be a sympathetic villain at all (one can’t relate to his issue of lacking a body powerful enough to withstand his powers) and I hope their sons will somehow avenge their mother (and their actual father, the man who raised them).

Oh but since we’re on the rather gloomy parts of the chapter, I gotta say that… 

I’m glad the events of ch1 are finally being addressed. 

Maybe we’ll find out soon about why Shiro couldn’t withstand Satan’s possession almost a year ago in the story, leading to his death: maybe Rin’s words really did hurt him, especially since we know that Yukio kinda had issues with him back then too, without mentioning Shura’s anger…?

So I don’t know, perhaps he got dispirited thinking his children despised him and then his body had grown too old, or the experiments of Section 13 were too far away in time for him to recover in ch1… I guess we’ll see about that soon. ://

Also also, I kinda got spooked by by the Toudou family:

Looks like Saburouta killed his brothers and his wife during the Blue Night (?) leaving only his daughter alive, which is somehow how she ended up following in his footsteps and working for the Illuminati. 

Pretty scarring for that girl, I wasn’t expecting that at all.

As for the Myo Dha amongst the many victims of the Blue Night…

…rip Takezou, Koneko’s dad and Mamushi’s mom (also wondering where Jin, Renzou’s oldest sister, was the whole time but I think Sensei forgot about her).

Finally, I always wondered about how Shura fared throughout the whole Blue Night incident and…

baby girl did well by hiding. 

The rest of the chapter though? Mostly funny parts, I swear to Assiah and Gehenna, haha! For example:

I gotta say I was really intrigued by whatever this Ark is supposed to be, but then…

…Dude gets out a freaking vacuum to deal with Lucifer’s remains???? Yeah, honestly that’s where I lost it LMAO!

IDK if Sensei meant to imply “that’s because he’s trash” or somehow that vacuum leads to this Ark thing, but I really lost my mind reading that scene. xDD

AND THEN…

Mephisto literally said “looks like it will be tough cleaning all this up… Well, gotta go now, you sure don’t need my help, bye~!”. Is he the laziest demon or what?! 

Finally, guys taking out axes to free Jeremiah from the forest he created to protect himself from Lucifer ended up being the final blow for me:

This whole scene with Shemihaza really struck me more as funny (with demons having their own vibes) than anything else. 

Same style but different time and space, we had Lucifer coming back to Gehenna after being defeated by the combo Shemihaza + Samael and…

Mephy being here like “omg bro, u sure u ok after I exorcised you? yeah? well that’s good news then”, my God, I couldn’t help but think that he really is the lowest of the low. xDD

Best part of the whole chapter has to be the following panel though, obviously:

Congrats Shiro, you got what you always wanted: kids to raise and a lifelong debt that is equal to losing your entire freedom. Well, aren’t you h a p p y? 

Nah, more seriously, as predictable as it was since everyone expected the “favor” Mephy requested when Shiro was a child to come into play, I still feel truly bad for him. In the end, escaping the Order is what he wished for, ever since his traumatizing childhood in Section 13, and it’s the one thing he never managed to bite back.

Unless… well, we don’t know yet what the twins will do, but if they somehow manage to defeat Mephy (who is on Assiah’s side but also possibly one hell of a villain as far as they are concerned) or even just the Order, then maybe we’ll have Shiro’s revenge finally out in the open. 

To start with, we know that Shiro didn’t raise no weapon. Yukio may not believe it’s true, Rin can have his doubts, but Shura knows the real deal when it comes to Shiro’s feelings about Yuri and her sons.

So Shiro raising sons and not weapons might eventually be what will stab every manipulator within the Order deep in the back, which would make an awesome revenge for him in that case. 

Finally about this: 

I made a post about this once, but just so it’s clear: as King of Time, clearly Samael knows that Satan will try to invade Assiah once more and him double crossing the Baals & Satan by telling Satan that he will prepare Rin as a vessel is just the best way to get Rin to face his father once he’s ready:

Which he almost is by now, in my opinion.

So yeah, Mephy is the same manipulator as ever, toying with both humans and demons, but we know he’s on Assiah’s side so, from the way I see things, he cannot be in favor of Satan showing up every now and then, raising havoc.

On the other hand, Mephy toying with Shiro and the Okumura twins (amongst others) is precisely why he could make a very fine big bad that the twins have to confront (both for themselves but also for Shiro’s sake), once Satan and Lucifer are out of the way. Ahhh, we shall see.

TL;DR a w e s o m e chapter, as always lately! Some difficult and gloomy parts, some awful moments, some funny ones and Mephy being the same old trickster he’s fated to be: what else could we ask for?

I hope you enjoyed it too, Anon! I don’t think the present time is coming back that quickly (in at least two or three chapters maybe?), but for now I’m still enjoying the flashbacks, so it’s all fine with me. :))

Please have a nice day and thanks for passing by in the first place! ^3^

[colorisbyshe]

if you want to complain more about clamp I am listening :) as someone who owns many volumes of the manga in multiple languages...... I am listening. <3

okay i’m just gonna rant in a very, very long post everyone please just avert your eyes mental illness is happening

but like....... as someone who was nostalgically reading these manga to bring back some happy memories i had as a kid, discovering that these series (ccs which i remembere dfondly despite not having actually watched/read as a kid, and trc and xxxholic which i read with some of my best friends at the time) are not just deeply flawed but harbouring so much like... frankly heinous shit in them is like??? deeply hurtful to me???

and like... i could handle cardcaptor sakura being full of evil shit because i had no deep personal connection, i just wanted to better understand ccs references in tsubasa and lik better appreciate syaoran and sakura and like its 90s shoujo OVER COURSE ITS FUCKED UP! just like sailor moon and fruits basket like it’s not good but like... i can process it

trc hurts me because like... the character writing for kurogane and fai is fucking PHENOMENAL, the concept is cool and interesting and unique, it (for the most part) has great themes and the way it explores concepts like grief, trauma, sacrifice, and healing was a balm to my quarantined soul

but you can tell where they realized they literally... did not know how to resolve their plot? and it got so complicated it legit gave me headaches but at least i had kurogane nad fai and then they’re shoved to the side just for it to be revealed that syaoran... is syaoran and sakura’s son... looking to meet up with sakura... to be with her... so they can be his parents

like... wow so great to watch this beautiful relationship be explored with kurogane and fai saving each otehr from the worst part of themselves just to be sidelined for “what if those fourth graders from cardcaptor sakura where husband and wife AND mother and son but like NOT REALLY becaues syaoran is also syaoran’s own dad so is it incest or just really confusing” but no it’s both like legit when falling in love with sakura he comments on how she’s just like his mom like hello bitch? you’re 14 but i’ll still kill you that shit is WEIRD

so that wAS NOT GREAT and then it ends with THE GROUP SEPARATED AT THE END?? SO I COULDN’T EVEN GET A HAPPY ENDING like yeah maybe it’s good sakura and syaoran were separated but kurogane and fai got to stay together beacuse... fuck the incest  but like... where is my catharsis where is my happiness??

and i’m rereading xxxholic which was my favorite of trc/xxxholic as a kid and... first off, it’s boring, secondly, it thinks it’s smarter than it is an dhas contradicting themes every other chapter, but FUCK it’s so interesting but doumeki, himawari, watauniki, and yuuko don’t have half the bonds as the TRC gang and like... i still don’t know why doumeki was going so fucking hard for watanuki

but the concepts were interesting enoguh and watching watanuki grow was nice

but you can ALSO tell AGAIN clamp just got bored and didn’t know how to wrpa it up so suddenly watanuki gives up ALL HIS BONDS AND HURTS ALL HIS FRIENDS just to be reunited with yuuko??? despite the themes of the story being about how self sacrifice causes scars on others?? and that’s BAD like if you love your frieneds you don’t hurt them by undervaluing yourself??? THATS A BASIC THEME OFT HE STORY

and then they rush to pair off doumeki with a girl THEY HELPED RAISE so he can have children to stay with watanuki... himawari is written off despite her last interactions with watanuki being about them caring for each other anad choosing to stay in contact despite her curse... and like yuuko’‘s entire character is never explained she’s just like “i’m a woman who exists as a vehicle of plot in both TRC and xxxholic i will never be given depth beyond that... well also i’ll ruin watanuki’s life”

and hen the last chapters are just watching everyone grow up while watanuki is alone, never aging, helping grant wishes where he watches other immortal beings suffer and lose everyone, and it just ends with him relizing he likely won’t ever see yuuko again but he’ll keep waiting?? even though it’s been 100 yers and everyone he loves is dead??

and that shit is not good for my mental health like i feel like i have been isolated fo ra hundred years beacuse of covid watching watanuki choose it hurt edeply

like half the manga is about syaoran and sakura begging him not to vanish (also that plotline was WEIRDLY dropped) and the series ends with him effectively... vanishing a sa person and just becoming shopkeeper

how fucking depressing??

i could handle a sad ending if it had value. if it said something. if it didn’t have doumeki marrying a girl he knew since she was an abused elementary schooler while he was like 17. ESPECiALLY when IN THE PANELS REVEALING IT it weren’t like “atcually neither of them love each other they love watanuki but it’s fine” like HUH????????? FOR WHY

and ive really had to grasp the reason why there’s so much fucked up shit (incest, pedophilia) in those series is core to CLAMP’s messages accross all their mangas about soulmates nad how about love can triumph over everything

and like using such a PURE message to be like “if an adult is in love with a child and they’re soulmates, it’s to be” is so fucking evil

like they’ll tip toe around kurogane and fai, yukito and touya, doumeki and watanuki, and all the gaybait that i KNOW is in their other series because i’ve grown up seeing shit like tokyo babylon and legal drug and all their other dropped manga

because gay peopl ebeing soulmates is a wink and a nod

but ADULTS WITH CHILDREN THEY ARE IN CHARGE OF??? MOTHER AND SON MAYBE??? oh that’s fine they’re REAL soulmates who will go against TIME AND DIMENSION MAGIC ITSELF to be in love

like...............................

gay people are second class characters compared to pedos and incest... does it get worse than that? like besides emotionally destroyed by the sad endings, i get that shit too?

it hurts on a deeper level like feels like a betrayal and i’m kind of really sad i revisited something i enjoyed so much as a kid (even when i didn’t understand wtf was going on, because i was literally reading it at the same time my friend was and rushing) andd discovered this like... deep rot inside it

i could have continued to remember it fondly but now it’s just like... reaching the last bite of cake and being told it was made with maggots like... well i already ate it all...

there’s no point reading clear card or the unfinished tsubasa/xxxholic sequels because they’ve already ruined themselves like they can’t fix it

kurogane and fai still won’t be allowed to be together. watanuki still outlived everyone who ever loved him for a mother figure that can never come back. cardcaptor wrote off the fourth grader engaged to hre teacher but like... sakura’s dad is still a preadator

like... what do i do with these left over feelings then?

i’ll be over it in a dya but like for tonight i really do feel unwell

okay thank you i got it out in one post i am processing the feelings

i am gonna cry about watanuki being alone tho

[aromalsula]

After the whole 2 weeks of vadapav and thali

I decided to go for Thane to my Valyamma (mom's elder sister, who inherited all the firm hand from their military father), just to get myself some Kerala fish curry and if lucky some mutton.

I texted my ex-girlfriend to book me a uber since I had debt on ola and uber, from previous ones, and she did, after 20 minutes of her usual cloak and dagger, she got me a cab. And texted me a screenshot of the same. I sat near a tree at the star market with a bottle of Pepsi, while trying not to seek eye contact with a dog sat near me, (no offense, I am afraid of dogs).

After a few minutes, 0541 a grey Datson Go came for me. I kept my backpack at the rear seat and sat in front like I usually do in Mumbai.

Back home I don't get to sit at the front, Dad keeps the front row for him and mom.

I wanted to take a seat a little bit back, the young driver was happy to help me.

The person who booked the cab for me, was on phone with him reading out the OTP, while he was about to cut the call I kind of added a thank you to her, he just laughed to that,

To show my two-year Hindi, I asked him, " ye payment kitna dha ".

Patha nahee m sir, madam ji ne ye online se pay kia dha sir,  he replied with a cheer

While I was thinking that whether I should pay her back, or respect her gratitude, he reminded me about the seatbelt.

Since I didn't have any battery left on my phone after the usual updates and stories on Instagram and Snapchat, I wished to test my Hindi on the young skinny man next to me.

"Aapka Naam kya he bhai ? "

"Kumar sir "

"Acha"

"Ye aapki gaadi he kya "

" Nayi sir , me keval driver hum "

Since I don't exactly knew or understand his Hindi

I am gonna keep this in English.his Paapa’s special Ranchi Chicken.

His name is Kumar, A Ranchi boy, but according to him, he is from MS Dhoni ki Ranchi. Since I was not good geography of India, he explained to me where Ranchi is, Jharkhand, and how Bihar is different, and why Jamshedpur is better.

He is part of a kisani family, Mainly chaval, where only his father is doing farming, while he, his brother, and his sister's husband work in Mumbai,Calcutta, and Jharkhand. His brother stays with his aunt at Calcutta as a helper in their family business, which was something related to the masala. And the sister's husband (Aliyan in Malayalam) was working as a tile mesthiri back in Jharkhand.

He came to Mumbai searching for a job after completing 12th in the science stream, with good marks. He started his earning as a panipuri salesman in some hotel, which he was not so good at, Later so asked one of his friend, a delivery driver to the same hotel, to teach him driving. Kumar was able to learn to drive so fast. After he got his license, the hotel manager himself helped him to get a driving job with a *Setah from Gujarat who owned more than 45 cars.

He loved his new job, where the *Setah only care about the 9000 Rs that Kumar is paying every month. Setah is also kind enough to carry out all the maintenance works.

Kumar is able to help his Paapa to find the money for his elder sister to continue her college education. The only person who went to college after the 12th in his family. He, his brother, his other elder sister( who got married after her 10th standard ) ,Maama, and Paapa is always proud of the college-going sister.

Kumar is the youngest, when I asked him “ tho thu chotta he ? “ he replied “Ha Sir me he Chottu” with a laugh.

On our journey there were a lot of laughs, we shared our criticism against the Mumbai Police, and the traffic, How panipuri tastes better in any place rather than Mumbai, and the fact that you can get a fish curry meal for 30 rs in Calcutta.

He had a lot to talk about when he was talking about his Paapa, that how he loved having a dog around him, and his love for his five cows at home, his sorrow that none of his sons are at home to help him with his farming. And the love story which ended in marrying from one of the prominent families in his village.

Talking about love, Kumar has a love in Calcutta, whom he met whenever he visited his brother there. A Bengali girl, that Kumar’s sisters only know. When I asked him, if he spends his free time on the phone with his, Bengali girl, he replied me “No. And that he needs to be successful in his career, first.

Kumar being in his 20’s already had a plan to set out his career, that he had a passion for business, and that he wants to start a business in his village, again something related to the masala, I didn’t get his business, but I wished him all the best.

He was happy to share with me his love for Kerala, which included stories about Nariyal Pani, a mallu passenger he dropped off at Andheri, and a front who works in a tire company in Kerala. Also, he was so grateful when I offered him a stay if he ever wants to visit Kerala.

The Ranchi Guy had his passion for cricket and Dhoni. When asked about Dhoni, he went the same as when he was talking about his paapa, He was so obsessed with Dhoni that he wants Dhoni to be the Chief Minister of Jharkhand.

I kind of loved his innocence. Well we both agreed on one thing that both of us who knew every playing eleven of

India, till there was Dhoni and Yuvaraj playing. And the fact that now we don’t.

When the ride ended, he told me with a laugh that “ Sir Madam ji ne ye cash me add Kiya dhaa, apko pay Karne chahiye. I couldn’t resist my laugh too, I paid him online, and he asked me for a photo. I was happy to take it, I took his number and told him that I will pay a visit to his marriage, and will surely come for his Paapa's special Ranchi chicken.

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

Perhaps slightly odd question, but wondering if you have any tips on getting used to displaying body hair? I'm non-binary and don't care to shave my legs unless I'm wearing a dress, but I haven't been able to go out in shorts with my unshaven legs and would like to be comfortable doing so. I always worry that my legs are too pale or my leg hair doesn't look masc enough--like it's not course enough. :/ So any advice you could give?

Lee says:

If you feel like somehow your pale legs are preventing you from wearing shorts, you can try self-tanner products, like DHA-based products, temporary bronzer gel or lotion made for getting a tanned look, spray tans, etc before going out.

And the actual summer will be here soon, so if you’re worried about your legs looking too pale because they’ve been covered with pants for so long, summertime will be an opportunity to go out and get a tan.

But the vast majority of people wear pants outside during the winter, so we all come into shorts-wearing season with paler legs, so I wouldn’t worry about it- it’s pretty typical, and I don’t think you’d stick out too much.

In the unlikely event that someone comments on your legs, just say something like “I can’t wait for the sun!” and that’ll be that, I doubt they’ll press it further. 

I’m not white, so I can’t speak to what y’all be thinking, but I also don’t think having pale legs is a “feminine” thing? Like when people list stereotypes about what a woman looks like, nobody has ever said “has pale legs!” like as a gendered characteristic.

And men don’t necessarily have super dark and tan legs- my brother is a gamer and he’s not tanned at all. Some women wear shorts or skirts outside and have tanned legs, some men wear pants outside or don’t go outside and have light legs, and so on. It isn’t really a gendered thing.

As for your leg hair not looking coarse enough- you could try using beard dye to dye the hair so it looks darker, which might make it look more masculine. They usually sell beard dye in the pharmacy, often near the men’s razors and shaving cream and stuff, and of course you can buy it online.

I think that the majority of women do shave their legs though (which is a whole nother topic) and so whenever people see leg hair, they think “masculine” because they aren’t used to comparing “feminine” and “masculine” leg hair because there are so few examples of women with hairy legs in our culture. 

So even if your leg hair isn’t coarse and thick and full, it’s still going to look masculine to people because they think just the existence of having leg hair at all is a masculine look.

And as always- the more you do something, the more confidence you gain. So yeah, you might be a bit uncomfortable at first going out with unshaved legs because you haven’t been used to showing your legs, but you have to push though that anxiety and eventually it’ll feel natural. 

My tip for getting through the first time you go out like that is doing something that’s really going to distract you. But in the times of social distancing, that might mean skipping the amusement park and instead going for a run while listening to music. That way you’re focusing on running and the music, and not on what people are thinking of your skin tone and leg hair.

[incorrectsibunaquotes]

Honestly, I think I’ve discovered the actual reason Amber and Alfie don’t work in HOA like they work in the original HHA or DHA. And it’s not entirely due to the actual canon events that are written for this version of the pairing (the dating handbook, Amber’s “no” to Alfie’s attempt at breaking up, forcing Amber into the trial relationship in the first place, etc., etc.), though it certainly doesn’t help. It actually comes down to how their characters were adapted for the English version of the show, and how they are fundamentally different than the OGs.

I’ll start with Alfie first. Alfie in HOA is a goober. He’s doofy, well-meaning, and most importantly childlike. Not even just childish, but childlike. He’s boyish and bubbly, and he certainly makes some weird, sorta sexual comments (especially in S1), but on the whole he’s quite an innocent character. Essentially, he reads as very young. Which he is, especially at the start of the show where he’s probably supposed to be about 15/16, but could even be as young as 14.

Appie, on the other hand, is also a goober. But a different type. He’s honestly way more like Jeroen than Alfie is like Jerome, meaning he’s a something of a womanizer, a bit douchier, and on the whole reads a lot older than Alfie, which I’m almost certain is canonical across all characters (with HHA characters supposedly ending the show at the age of 19, with the timeline across the 4 seasons being only two years— three at most).

The few things character-wise both Appie and Alfie share intrinsically are that they’re besties with Jeroen/Jerome who doesn’t always treat him well, his love for a good practical joke, and (in earlier seasons) his pining for Amber. Of course, Appie also goes through phases of being a bit of a ladies man (see his random interest in Mara), but on the whole these things are constant. But already, the English version of the character is a lot more twinkly eyed and is like “Amber’s really pretty, I hope she notices me” as opposed to the Dutch “Damn she’s hot, lemme tap that”. It’s very subtle, because he’s obviously not a sleazy, bad guy, but it’s though being friend zoned by Amber (for the whole series) that Appie begins to loosen up and be less of a sleaze and more of the silly and whimsical guy we know him as; that’s because of Dutch Amber’s characterization.

I’ll come back to why all that matters, after I discuss the Ambers. (For the sake of keeping track, I’ll refer to them by their last names). Rosenbergh is a rich, pretty, ditzy party girl, but she’s incredibly perceptive. She sniffs out bullshit in an instant, especially with the Mick and Mara situation, but overall she has wicked foot-in-mouth syndrome and just sorta blurts out the first thing that pops into her head even if it’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever heart in your life. She’s extravagant, over-the-top, full of whimsy, and is downright silly. Rosenbergh is simultaneously a ditz and very smart. Simultaneously is the key word here.

Millington is not. She is a much more toned down version of her OG counterpart, and I think that is mostly due to the different actresses takes on the character. This isn’t to say, Millington isn’t any of the those of adjectives I used earlier, but the difference between the English and the Dutch versions of the character is that while Rosenbergh is both smart and ditzy, Millington is simply smart and plays at being ditzy. At least that’s how it reads, and how it reads is incredibly important in this case. Millington would never be caught dead in some of the situations Rosenbergh found herself in, because she’s a fundamentally more uptight version of the character.

So why does all this matter? Because the version of Alfie that we get from the very start is far more like Appie after a good hunk of his subtle character development— far more like Amber Rosenbergh. Amber Millington, on the other hand, is not the type of girl to ever mesh that well with a wild, goofy personality like Alfie’s. She’s just not. Alfie would work super well with Rosenbergh, however, because she’s this whimsical girl with a lot of heart. It’s why Appie works so well with her, too.

This isn’t a diss of HOA!Amber, by the way, because her English characterization is a masterful adaptation of the OG, but there’s a reason why even in S3 of HOA, at the supposed established point of Amfie’s relationship, they still feel so estranged from each other. At the end of the day, Millington has a different outlook on life and an entirely different mindset than Alfie. This isn’t to say they couldn’t work ever, but they’re just not the same pairing that Amber/Appie are.

It also didn’t help that Amfie had no best friends era. Like, sometimes I think we forget that Amber and Appie didn’t get together until the reunion movie. Like they weren’t a canon couple in the series. He liked her, but she didn’t like him back and they were besties. Their chemistry was chaotic and silly, and they had to grow into each other for them to work. Which is why they work. Amber and Alfie never did that, and part of me wonders if that wasn’t entirely because of the plot the English writers put down for them, but rather because the ways Ana and Alex played the characters off each other just didn’t allow for it.

Which brings me to my last point: Willow. Arguably, Willow is more like HHA!Amber than HOA!Amber is, and that’s all because of the magic word I’ve been using this whole, poorly-written essay: whimsy. Willow is the glitterbomb to Alfie’s fuse. Their dynamic feels exactly the same as Appie and Amber because Willow is the writers’ second attempt at having Amber Rosenbergh in the picture, and that’s why Walfie works so much more naturally.

Anyway, this got long and I’m sure I missed stuff but yeah. TL;DR: Amfie was unable to replicate Ampie bc they’re just different

[lovemesomesurveys]

Have you ever read a Shakespeare piece? Yeah, a few in high school. If so, which one? Romeo and Juliet, King Lear, and Macbeth.  For Christmas do you get more gift cards than presents? No, but there’s usually a couple gift cards in my stocking. Which smell do you prefer: liquid paper or a Sharpie? I don’t enjoy the smell of either one, they both will give me a headache.  What colour is your sleeping bag? I don’t have one.

Have you ever seen/felt a sibling being more spoiled than the other? Nah, I wouldn’t say that. 

You know opposites attract. Are you and your best friend opposites? Yeah, in a lot of ways. We have a lot in common, too. What did your parents do in their free-time when they were teens? Hang out with their friends. My dad also was on the school baseball team. Is their somebody that makes you feel comfortable and confident? I feel comfortable around my family. My self-esteem is too low so I don’t feel confident, but it’s not because those around me make me feel that way. My family is very loving and supportive.  Ever made a bucket list? Yeah, when I was younger.  What’s the weirdest thing you consumed as a child? My cousins and I liked eating straight Kool-Aid mix from the packet mixed with salt for some reason. I can’t believe I ate that, it sounds disgusting now. Do you shop at Value Village? No, I’ve never heard of that. Do you find adding unnecessary spaces and periods annoying? Yes. Do you drink the recommended amount of water in a day? No. :/ I get about 3, someeeetimes 4. I really need to work on that. Do you have to go to summer school? I’m done with school. If so, which subject? Ever felt as if a teacher was thinking of you in a lustful manner? No. Where do you get your jeans at? Most of them are from JCP.  Worst drugs you have ever done/seen somebody do? I’ve only done weed. I haven’t witnessed someone doing anything else, but I know several people who have.  Do you ever reply to these using a creative manner or just with one word? I like to elaborate more when I can. I tend to rant and ramble in these.  Do you use any specific acne medication or do you just wash your face? I just wash my face. Have you ever worn a ankle bracelet? Yeah. Favourite Disney movie song? ”In a World of My Own” from Alice in Wonderland, “Part of Your World” from The Little Mermaid, “A Whole New World” from Aladdin, “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” from Toy Story, and “Reflection” from Mulan. Do you use body mist or perfume? I’ve been using body sprays from Bath & Body Works. Did you know in the yogurt “Danino” it contains DHA which is fish oil? I didn’t know that. Did you ever have a teacher that was greatly opinionated? Yeah. Do you hate it when people make fun of the person you like/dated? Uh, I would definitely have a problem with that.

[purplesurveys]

847

Have you ever read a Shakespeare piece? Yes, but only for English classes in high school. If so, which one? Romeo and Juliet, The Merchant of Venice, Macbeth, and Hamlet. For Christmas do you get more gift cards than presents? I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a gift certificate for Christmas. I’ve always received presents. Which smell do you prefer: liquid paper or a Sharpie? I’ve no idea what liquid paper is, so I’ll have to go with Sharpie by default. What colour is your sleeping bag? I don’t think I have it anymore, but when I was younger I had a blue sleeping bag that I used to bring to school when we’d have activities that required me to spend the night.

Have you ever seen/felt a sibling being more spoiled than the other? I don’t observe other siblings; but from my own experience it wasn’t about being spoiled, but who gets off the hook. As the eldest I’d be scolded most often and my brother always had it easy, even if he does the same things I’d normally get scolded for. You know opposites attract. Are you and your best friend opposites? Gab and I couldn’t be any more different, but Angela and I pretty much share one braincell lol so I have it both ways. What did your parents do in their free-time when they were teens? I’m not really sure. The one thing they both mention is that they grew up poor so I don’t hear a lot of stories about their pastimes. I do know my dad danced in school and he liked watching Voltes V, and that my mom liked to talk on the phone. Is their somebody that makes you feel comfortable and confident? Gabie. Ever made a bucket list? Just in my head. What's the weirdest thing you consumed as a child? Oil that was leaking out of a battery because I was a fucking dumbass. Do you shop at Value Village? Noooooooooooo we don’t have your stooooooores Do you find adding unnecessary spaces and periods annoying? Yes. They shouldn’t annoy me but eh, I’ll allow myself to be nitpicky about one typography-related thing lol. Do you drink the recommended amount of water in a day? I don’t reach eight glasses I think, but I still drink more water than anyone in the house. Do you have to go to summer school? No because I never failed a class. If so, which subject? Ever felt as if a teacher was thinking of you in a lustful manner? Funny you should mention that because tons of girls in my local circle have been speaking out about how their male teachers harassed them when they were students aka when they were young girls aka when they were fucking minors. Most of them come from Catholic schools and even girls from my own high school are coming out as well. It’s so bad it’s reached national news and thankfully some of the schools have released their own statements and are taking steps to sanction their pervert teachers. Honestly, I had my own story to share in the ~movement~ so to answer your question, yeah I’ve had a male teacher speak to me inappropriately so I could just assume he was thinking of me in the same way too. Where do you get your jeans at? Different places. If I like how they look and if they fit me well, I’ll buy it. Worst drugs you have ever done/seen somebody do? I’ve never done any hard drugs nor have I watched anyone take them. Do you ever reply to these using a creative manner or just with one word? I like elaborating on my answers. Seems kinda boring if all I kept saying was yes or no. Do you use any specific acne medication or do you just wash your face? I just wash my face with water. Have you ever worn a ankle bracelet? Nope. I think I’d just feel like something is on my skin and it would end up bugging me. Favourite Disney movie song? I'll Make a Man out of You/Reflection from Mulan, A Whole New World from Aladdin, You’ll Be In My Heart from Tarzan, You’re Welcome from Moana, and When Will My Life Begin?/I See The Light from Tangled. Couldn’t pick just one, soz. Do you use body mist or perfume? Perfume. Did you know in the yogurt "Danino" it contains DHA which is fish oil? I don’t eat yogurt but I do know what DHA means lol. I don’t really know how to answer this question HAHA Did you ever have a teacher that was greatly opinionated? I go to pretty much the most opinionated university in the country. It would be considered quite out of character for any professor to not hold strong opinions of their own. Do you hate it when people make fun of the person you like/dated? Yes. When Gab and I broke up it made me uncomfortable when my friends would make fun of her.

[sasskarian]

The Mostly-Complete Rise of Skywalker semi-liveblog and reaction list that literally no one asked for

I really dig the parallels between Exegol and Korriban. The way both places felt massive and cramped at the same time, all ominous and tomb-like. Both of them are desolate, devoid of all life. They both feel barren, but not just barren. Korriban feels like history crumbling beneath your fingertips. Exegol feels like a place that’s actively trying to wound you with its desolation, like it’s sucking the life out of you to try and renew itself. (Which, given that Palpatine is there and what he does later, yeah, that tracks.)

When Palps tells Kylo to kill Rey, you can see the micro expression in his eyes. The way the muscles in his face tighten up for a second, the brows drawing down in an expression of disdain and repulsion. If we could have seen his mouth, I’d lay money down on there being a sneer flash across his face for a moment. And damn if Adam isn’t a good actor for being able to portray something that subtle.

There were definitely a few moments where Chewie bitches at Poe for the stunts he’s pulling, including a very definitive accusation of “Rey would never do this to me or the Falcon,” or something along those lines. (This is when Poe snarls, “Yeah, well, Rey’s not here right now, is she?”)

Kylo reaching out into the Force. We’re supposed to think he’s trying to reach Anakin/Vader, but I don’t think that’s what happened at all. I think that he reached for Rey specifically, possibly as a self-soothing gesture. The need to feel her alive, reassure himself. And because of Rey’s feelings and connections to his own family, he’s clearly struggling with his more monstrous acts, and with seeing Luke and Han as intrusive thoughts.

Rey failing the training course because of him makes perfect sense. Notice that this is also when she gets angry.

The Kintsugi vibe given off by Ren’s helmet repairs are fascinating.

Given the way Pryde keeps focusing on Hux during the meeting, I feel like he suspects Hux.

I find it interesting that Finn seems to be the peacekeeper in the OT3. Poe is definitely a hothead, even though he’s matured since TFA and TLJ. And Rey snaps back at him, indignant that he’s snapping at her. And Finn is the one doing the “Guys, guYS, we don’t have TIME for this” routine.

I like the quiet horror of Rey recognizing Exegol’s name. Whether it’s Force shenanigans, or from reading Luke’s books, or from the vision, whatever. The recognition followed by horror is Good Fucking Acting.

I wish that there’d been a little more of Luke or Leia reassuring Rey that a name is just a name. That the legacy is what you make it. And that as the children of Anakin Skywalker, they know that better than anyone. I feel like that would have been a good tie-in and highlight for the way the surnames are treated in the movies. Ben shunning both Organa and Solo, Rey having a last name at last but one that carries the same kind of stigma and Dark past.

I… kind of wonder if Ren surrounded himself in atrocities as a means of self-punishment. We know it’s canon that he keeps being pulled to the Light, and that every time he does, he tries something Dark. Maybe it’s his way of reminding himself how far he’s fallen and that he can’t ever go back home again (which we know is bullshit, but hey, abuse fucks your brain up, and Snoke was abusive af). Like, again, I know it’s mostly just in the comics so far, but we see him a lot saying, “I never wanted this,” “I don’t want to do this.”

The Pasaana dance in the festival seems pretty clearly modeled after tribal dances, and that makes me wonder if powerful dances like the Dha Werda and the Ancestor Dance shown in the film send ripples through the Force. And what that might be like.

I… kind of like the idea of Ben and Kylo struggling for control? I need to finish reading TLJ and read TRoS when it comes out, but there are things Kylo does—the almost-gentle banter with Rey, the way he reaches out in TLJ when she’s on Ahch-To, warning her about Palps—that doesn’t make sense from a purely Kylo perspective. I mean, I’m also an angst gremlin who enjoys the idea of Kylo losing more ground to Ben Solo, and having serious identity clashes.

The bond between Rey and Kylo has grown exponentially. Each movie, it gets bigger and more powerful. In TFA, it allowed her to look into his head. And he wasn’t able to really bring himself to hurt her. In TLJ, it bridges impossible distances of space, even so far as transporting physical objects across the distance. And in TRoS, we see that it’s gotten so strong, it literally blocks out the rest of the physical world. You could argue that the darkness in the bond is what’s overshadowing it, but I don’t count it that way. Rey’s surroundings on Pasaana are slowed down and muted, as if only Ren is her focus.

The trio is so drift compatible, it hurts.

The way the trio grabs for each other, though. It was beautiful. Disney may have decided that Poe/Finn wasn’t a thing, which we all know is a damn lie, but this movie ships the OT3 so hard. The way Poe catches Rey as she falls, the way they both turn at almost the same time to look for Finn. The casual touching.

Childish though it was, I did enjoy the “mine’s bigger” joke with Rey’s lightsaber vs Poe’s flashlight.

Rey shows an affinity for Animal Empathy. Ren has used Stasis more than once. I could even argue that there’s been some subtle Battle Meditation going on throughout the series. And I kind of? Like that we’re seeing some of the more obscure and subtle Force powers.

Also? The snakey slow-blink? I love.

Rey seems to have some psychometry abilities. And I love it.

The way Rey says “I’ll be right behind you” isn’t what it sounds like. It has a lot of layers to it. (Just like Han’s “I know” in ESB) It’s declaration of intent (“I’ll handle this”), it’s a request (“Trust me”), and it’s consolation and reassurance (“I’ll be fine.”). The way all that is conveyed with five simple words is. Ugh. My heart.

As Finn gets stronger in the Force, I’m enjoying seeing his instincts kick in. He senses Ren’s approach, which is a nice completion of the parallel to TFA when Ren sensed him as the traitor.

I don’t know who’s read the Rise of Kylo comic, but the way she slices his ship to bring him down is a direct parallel to the shot he made when he escaped the destroyed Temple. (I love all the tie-ins, honestly)

Rey was doing okay with trying to pull the transport down until Kylo stepped in to push her. The most likely scenario is less “force lightning is genetic” (because that’s crap) but more that anger clouded her mind and she already had a direct Force ability going.

When I asked my roommate why she thought Rey couldn’t sense Chewie’s life force, she gave me an interesting theory. Well, a few, but one I think makes a lot of sense. The first was that Chewie was already off-world and thus too far away (later debunked by her sensing him as the Destroyer is in orbit). Or that maybe the transports were shielded against Force Abilities, but given that they’re so rare in this era, I don’t think that’s the case. I agree with my roomie in saying that it’s more likely that Rey burnt out part of her senses and basically put herself in shock due to the feedback of casting a powerful and traditionally dark side ability for the first time.

The first couple of times I watched the movie, the entire Threepio arc bothered me. Why didn’t they just plug him into the navicomputer, the way they’d done before? Why the angst build-up? Then I remembered that they left the Falcon on Pasaana, and it’s possible that L3 is more equipped to talk to Threepio’s forbidden memory banks than a post-TCW era ship that’s almost certainly out of date.

…Zorii and Poe have A Past. I’d put money on them having banged like screen doors in a hurricane at least a few times.

“Who are you hanging out with that spEAKS SITH?!?”

I? love? Babu?

“Does she do that to us?” had me in tears.

Oh my God, the sheer #aesthetic and foreshadowing of her duel with Ren. The red fruit (cherries?) spilling across the floor, the stark color against the too-bright white. The way Vader’s helmet thunks on the ground like a sour note in a song, the way the pedestal shatters with their combined strikes. Vader falling from Ren’s worship (as the truth is revealed that it was Snoke/Palps messing with his mind and he never heard Vader), the dark glass shattering the same way the darkness in Ren dies with him.

Finn is… kind of a gossipy biddy and I love it. The way Jannah hands him the part and he just flat out abandons the work to talk, the body language as he hoists himself up to sit on the ledge. I love it. He’s precious.

I wonder if the Death Star echoes in the Force. So many brutal deaths in those halls. So many restless ghosts.

…okay, I’m not sure how to feel about the dagger lining up with the fallen DS’s architecture. Because like. There’s so many layers to that? That suggests that Palps had the dagger created after Endor/RoTJ. Which suggests that he may have had the Wayfinders created then too (though it seemed pretty comfy in the Vault, so maybe he already had them?) (Also, there was one on Mustafar. Was it planted there? Did Vader know about Exegol? I need more information than this!) And like. The Death Star is sitting in a violent sea. It’s going to degrade eventually. What if the horizon line had changed? What then? It seems flimsy, for all that it was dramatic and cool.

The sheer aesthetic in this movie, though. The symbolism is everywhere. Like Rey taking the skimmer. I love the aesthetic choices of her struggling against these giant, furious waves as a fantastic visual analogy of her struggle against the emotions churning away inside her. And how Despair and Fear and even Anger threaten to overwhelm her and drown her, but she keeps holding tight to that little skimmer the same way she’s clinging to Luke’s teachings and Leia’s love and faith in her. Their belief in her.

“You don’t know what she’s fighting.” “And you do?” I wonder if, as a Force Adept, Finn can sense the bond between Rey and Ren, and that she’s struggling against it. As well as the Palpatine name.

Theory (that may or may not have been explored in the Legends EU): Any place steeped in enough Dark emotion can become a place of visions like the Mirror Cave and Dagobah’s Cave. Rey comes face to face with her worst fear on the Death Star.

Speaking of, I wonder if some small part of Rey enjoyed the vision of her and Kylo as Emperor and Empress. I wonder if that’s where the abject horror comes from.

Speaking of more aesthetic, the on-screen contrast and history of the window where Vader and Luke dueled, and the shot of Palps’ throne over Rey’s shoulder. Sorry not sorry but I’m going to be forever in love with the cinematography in this movie.

Ren seems… almost exasperated that she’s still drawing her saber on him. That has fic potential.

That. Entire. Fucking. Duel. That entire battle. Just… oof. OOF. My heart. It blew everything in me wide open. Looking with the eyes of a writer and SW expert instead of the wide-eyed “my hEaRt!” first reaction, I saw So Much. Like Rey and Ren trading battle stances. IDK if anyone else noticed, and it’s happened before (the throne room battle in TLJ, notably, but also their duel in Ren’s quarters). But here, it’s so clear. They gave and took from each other as they fought, and that broke my heart. It threw me back to KotOR II’s echani battles, and the fight between Sun and Mun in Sense8. Here, unlike TLJ, they weren’t fighting in tandem with each other. This was back and forth. Rey starts out saber up, in what looks like shii-cho. Kylo, like always, starts out in Ataru, with heavy, powerful strikes trying to bludgeon down her defense. Rey switches to an offensive, then to fast, agile strikes holding her lightsaber Ahsoka style. Kylo then switches to shii-cho, and Rey enters Ataru, with the aggressive offensive. The way they switched between each other was fantastic.

Near the end, Rey starts giving up. You can see it. Her movements get sluggish, like she’s just going through the motions. Like she’s so tired of fighting the bond in her head, her reluctant pull to him, like she’s just. So Fucking Tired. She’s resigned.

Kylo Ren dying by his own lightsaber while Ben’s mother called to him. That symbolism. That symbolism, though.

The way he looks around, like he’s in shock. The way the battle just stops, and he’s sitting there, dying. You can see the change in him, as Ben wakes up and Kylo dies. There’s so much shell-shock and disorientation, like someone who’s been asleep for too long, waking up confused. And I’d like to believe that Rey healing him poured not just healing but maybe a little Light into him, and that, along with Leia reaching for him, is what gave Ben the strength to rise over Kylo and overpower him. (See also, my love of internal power struggles)

“I did want to take your hand. Ben’s hand.” Excuse you, I did not sign up for this feels trip.

Rey running away. I have… conflicted feelings on? Did she run away because she was grieving? To escape her own history? Did she run because she gave into the dark and struck down Kylo in anger? Or because she was tempted by Ben?

I know everyone says that Han was just a memory but I prefer to believe that Han’s just too stubborn to be a proper Force Ghost. And Disney and Lucasarts can pry Force Sensitive Han Solo out of my cold dead hands.

Luke, materializing out of the air and catching the saber. My heart screamed. Especially when he chided her (and himself) that a lightsaber deserves more respect.

“Leia didn’t tell me.” I think… I think Leia was trying to, without saying the words, “Rey, you’re a Palpatine.” She said, “Never be afraid of who you are.” And oh, God, that’s something Leia would know. In the EU she struggles with being Anakin’s daughter, with the legacy of Vader hanging over her. She struggles with it so much. And finally comes to terms with it. So if anyone knows what that’s like, it’s going to be her.

­­­"She sensed the death of her son at the end of her Jedi path." So... she had nearly thirty years to plan for it. Yoda says, “Always in motion, the future is.” I don’t believe for a single instant that Leia Organa shrugged her shoulders and said “Welp, guess my kid’s gonna die.”

Luke KNEW Ben would go to Exegol. He knew and no one will ever convince me otherwise. “Take both sabers.” She’d need one for Ben.

I wonder if Lando looks at the Falcon and sees all the little pieces of Han.

So. The arrival order at Exegol threw me for a while. Rey gets there, in Red 5. Using the toasted Wayfinder. Then the Resistance arrives, following her trail. We see Ben arrive in a TIE fighter. But… how? Rey’s trail was given to the Resistance on what I can only imagine is an encrypted wave data burst. We know it was technically given to Lando, so that the people joining the battle could find them. But Ben’s in a TIE fighter. Did he get the message from Lando? Were the coordinates already programmed into the TIE via the Final Order? Did he memorize the path from before (given that he’s a stellar pilot like Han)? Did Rey give it to him?

I hate Palps being a one-trick pony in the movies. We see him in TCW having other abilities, and mad saber skills. But in the movies, his schtick is the same every time: He seduces people to the Dark and makes them feel like they don’t have a choice, usually by dangling, “Look, you can SAVE THEM” in front of everyone. And then once he has them, he keeps them by constantly belittling them and reminding them that there’s nowhere else for them to go, because they burnt all their bridges. (Ex: Vader being reminded of what he did to Padme, and Kylo being reminded via Snoke of his own actions)

WEDGE. WEDGE ANTILLES. WEDGE.

Rey felt Ben’s approach, and you can see the change in her body language.

THAT IS THE MOST HAN SOLO THING I HAVE EVER SEEN AND IT’S NOT EVEN HAN SOLO. Watching the changes in Ben (vs Kylo) is so fucking great. He’s lighter, he’s faster. He skids (Han/Death Star), shoots behind him (Han/TFA), and the Solo Shrug. Ugh. Seeing Leia and Han blended in Ben with the Solo swagger, and Leia’s grace is fantastic.

Also: he looks so Soft. And so much younger.

I wonder if they’re communicating through the bond? He knows she can see him, because he nods at her to give him the saber. And unless I didn’t see correctly, she mouthed/whispered his name. And again, we see the connections between them in the fighting style. They’re still acting and reacting like extensions of each other.

The way they meet, the relief on their faces. Relief that melts into stubbornness and determination. Also, the way they take up their sabers in the same stance, the same expression. It’s delicious.

We were ROBBED of seeing the Jedi around Rey. ROBBED.

I’m STILL SALTY that they weren’t there for Ben (that we can see anyway).

Ben proceeded to completely shatter my heart. When he pulls Rey into his lap, he looks around like he’s waiting for someone to tell him what to do. He’s actively seeking guidance and help. And because we don’t have an in to Ben’s head, we don’t know if someone told him what to do or how to do it, or if anyone comforted him. But we do see his face go from disbelief to despair to acceptance.

The face touch. Stop breaking my damn heart.

When the Core ships arrive, I’m almost positive I saw The Razorcrest and the Ghost. I need to check the disc where I can pause it, but I’d put money on it that I saw them.

The way the trio grabs for each other at the end is more movie-shipping-OT3. Finn holding the two people he loves most in the world, right where he can see them. Poe taking Rey’s hand. They don’t know what happened in the Citadel, but I’m pretty sure Finn can feel how tired Rey is, how wounded she is. And they’re There For Her.

Rey burying the sabers on Tatooine has so many emotions attached to it. Tatooine, where Anakin Skywalker was born of the Force, where Luke spent his formative years. Luke and Leia resting together in the Force, as their student moves on and tries to find her way in the galaxy. And the parallels and tie ins from TFA to now, like Rey building a dual saber from parts of her quarterstaff, the sand sliding, and the OT callback to the protag being silhouetted by the twin suns, were satisfying.

Rey’s saber being yellow is something I find… interesting. If you look at the newer movies, whenever a blue or green saber crosses with a red one, the light sparks and blending of the plasma fields look yellow. And Kyber crystals (in the new canon) aren’t colored. They take on a color when the jedi awakes the force in them. So for her color to resonate yellow as someone balanced in light and dark makes a lot of sense.

I have… Opinions on the surname controversy that I’m still trying to sort through. And I definitely have Opinions on Ben sacrificing himself (mostly that the entire sequel trilogy spent two and a half movies harping on about balance only to kill off half the balance and leave a Force Wound in their protag)

***

Was Rise of Skywalker a good movie? Eh. That depends a lot on your criteria.

Was it a successful Star Wars movie? That also depends on your criteria.

But for me, it felt like Star Wars. It felt like an ending to the Skywalker saga. Did I get everything I wanted? No. Am I salty about parts of it? Absolutely. Are there plot holes I could drive a Death Star through? You betcha. Were we robbed of a better, more cohesive movie based on the leaks from JJ’s crew? YUP.

But I found things to enjoy. I got things I wanted (OT3! Force Sensitive Finn! Bendemption! Lando! Hope for the galaxy!), didn’t know I wanted (Master Leia! D-O the anxiety droid! Generals Finn and Poe!), and things I definitely didn’t want.

[pandospeaks]

Lahsun (and other teachers from my kitchen)

There are many lessons my kitchen teaches me - every day I’m in it, and always in earnest. Some lessons I learn instantly (like don’t salt the meat AND the gravy). And some I am still learning, more and more clearly each day. I’m still, progressing step by step as if I’m following a recipe being made entirely from a distant memory. I’m uncertain of what I’m doing, and almost bubbling over (but never actually doing it).

Each day in the kitchen gives me a new teacher. One that I will never recognize instantly, but once I do I can’t see it as anything else. Here are a few lessons I’m learning from my new favourite room in my home.

LESSON 1: FOLLOW THE MUSIC

My first teacher was the humble lahsun (lasoon? lehsun?). I was sitting at my living room balcony and peeling garlic. My mind was racing, as it had for every single day and night of the lockdown. As it has for you, and you, and you, and YOU. I was almost in tears because I just wanted 5 minutes.

5 freaking minutes of quiet.

Where I wouldn’t think anymore. Where my mind wouldn’t recite the day’s list of failures of our collective race. And I wouldn’t play tug of war with my confidence and my own day’s to do list.

‘You can do this. No you can’t. You can do this. No you can’t. You can’t do this. You can’t do this.”

“You can’t do this. You. Can’t. Do this.…”

And slowly, much to my surprise, it all faded into silence. I’m not kidding, everything went quiet. Not an eerie silence; but a calming one. It was confusing at first, but I sunk into it eventually. I made it my home for those 30 minutes of peeling garlic. Because as long as I was peeling clove after clove of garlic, digging in with my nail and removing a glossy pearl from its papery cover, as long as I kept that on, I could silence the world.

It was then that I learned that a quiet meditative state can come from the act of repetition. When I peel garlic, I can forget everyone out there. And I can just watch the bowl fill up, piece by shiny little piece. And when it’s all over the thoughts all come racing back, angry at being shut out for so long and deafeningly loud. But I have my bowl of garlic. I had those 30 minutes.

This was the same calm I derived from my time as a singer. I’d sing for hours and shut out more than my fair share of shit. Drink with me sometime and I’ll tell you why I don’t do it anymore. It’s a story for another day. But the truth is I stopped singing and tried to fill that void with lots of other immaterial things, people, habits, and coping mechanisms. It was an absence I didn’t realise I had. And it had felt like the deafening discouragement in my head had always been there, sitting on my shoulder.

But 30 minutes with garlic made my feel the same calm of repetition that singing ‘sa, re ga ma pa dha ni sa’ a hundred times did. I know, it is silly, but I really didn’t know I needed to shut out my head as badly as I did until that morning. It’s also why I’m writing right now. And while writing isn’t as effective as singing, I’m not sure I’m ready to go there yet.

LESSON 2: SORRY IS A BITTER PILL

At my sink, in the corner of the kitchen near the window, I learned that sometimes things will get gross. And that’s okay. I have never been someone who likes doing dishes. I used to make a mess whenever I was in the kitchen. But this lesson was actually really simple to learn because it came at the end of a 3 day streak of defiance that ended with me washing every dish thrice.

If you make a mess, you clean it up. Because if you don’t, it doesn’t stay the same mess. It festers. Like a wound that becomes septic. Like an insult that is only said to demean but winds up destroying you if not followed up with an apology and care. If you make a mess, clean it up.

Because it doesn’t stay the same mess.

People are messy. Emotions even more so. And they need the right care at the right time. Without which, they turn putrid – just like dirty dishes. But there’s another lesson here too. At the end of the 3 days and triple wash of every vessel, everything was clean again. All that scrubbing, water, and Vim eventually worked its magic. And I learned that oftentimes, to make things squeaky clean again, you need elbow grease. You need effort, and you need to be okay with things being really, really messy. Because if you do dive right in, the end result is very satisfying.

LESSON 3: KINDNESS TRUMPS AMBITION

My third teacher is an old favorite with a new lesson.

The mighty Indian curry.

Growing up, chicken curry and rice was my favourite meal. Hands down, I could (and did) eat it every single day. Whenever I made it at home, which was rarely ever (in the before times), I always followed the same foolproof recipe.

Fry the whole spices, onions, ginger-garlic paste, and tomatoes until it’s all pulpy together.

But now, after I had to make some form of curry every day, I realized that there’s a bit more to this whole thing. The typical Indian curry is two steps. First you make the base, then you make the curry. Every recipe has the same fundamental base (well, almost every recipe). And without it, no curry is complete. And even though the base has the same ingredients and steps, no curry has to be the same.

Because here’s the thing - we can be as ambitious as we want or as laid back as we want, but the core of all of us is the same. We all need to be good people. Honest, kind, empathetic, and considerate. You can be anything – ANYTHING – you want to be. But without your basics in place, you will only be an almost-version of it all.

The thing about a curry base is that with the right one, you can make something spicy or tangy or earthy or mellow. You can make any version of the curry you want. But you need to make sure you have your basics in place. Because if your onions aren’t browned or the tomatoes haven’t let off all the water, if you didn’t work on the basics, if you didn’t take the time to make sure that what is at the core of YOU was done cooking, it doesn’t matter what you eventually made.

Nothing will turn out the way you thought it would. 

The mightiest ‘Do Pyaaza’ will turn out insipid, without the core of it cooked through. Just like the most ambitious life will feel empty without the core of you, fully formed.

These are all the lessons my procrastination allows me to write about for now. Perhaps with more time and less chores (LOL), I can write about some more. If you stuck around till the end, thank you. I hope you are safe and sound, wherever you are.

[pluviophileeeeee]

I always tend to forget how awful and excruciatingly long the flight back home is. And only to be reminded when I am cramped in my seat, my lower-back achingly complying not that it had any other choice, my legs and butt were starting to get numb. Don’t even get me started about my sleep, as messed up as it already is, nothing compares to how brutal a 16hour plane ride plus another 3hours connecting and every time you wake you - you’d think you’re only an hour away to your destination yet only to get that thought smashed. There’s long hours more.

There were a lot of teary-eyed moments, and shedding a droplet of tear every so often when I was at the airport and throughout the entire flight. I couldn’t understand what I was feeling. Was I excited? For one, I am pumped to see everybody and yet, there’s a piece that doesn’t seem to fit right.

Prior to my departure, I sent a message to mama “ Ma kubaan lage ko.. uban unta ta uli ma” and that I’ve only realized how vulnerable I sounded which is peculiar in a way since I’ve never shown that side to her. Fast forward to before taking off, I sent her a photo that I have settled in the plane and her only respond was “arang c e ka sad imo face nak” I quickly managed to break the ice and told her “ge gutom ra na ma”.. The last thing I wanted is for her to worry about me. I’m a grown ass woman, I think I can handle myself just fine. I think.

I woke up from a horrible slumber, oh God, the neck pillow didn’t help and I started weeping again, silently. Not from the pain, but when I arrive kuya Soul won’t be there to welcome me back home, he won’t be there like the last time they picked us up at the airport, he won’t be there , he will never be there, not anymore, not ever.

A year went by like a blur.

I resented the past year, people were taken away from me, hurt and grief were lingering like a grey clouds, gloomy and eerie.

I’m still waiting for that reason why everything happened the way it did.

This year, I won’t expect for grander things to happen but I promised kuya to be more optimistic.

I sincerely hope you already found your peace, kuya. I’ll slowly forgive myself for taking time for granted so please, continue watching over us.

Usa ka tuig kuyog dha sa kahitas.an, feeling high, aren’t you, kuya?

Kuya Soul!! Anag jatea! Naka uli nako!!! Pastilan jatea!! Whoooooooooooooo!!!!!

[personaehq]

INCOMING MESSAGE …

FULL NAME: skye ALIAS: jeon hana ANDROID TYPE: DHA#413 MANUFACTURE DATE: 2137 PHYSICAL AGE: 23 ALIGNMENT: pro-defiant OCCUPATION: n/a AFFILIATION: leader of the defiant movement ACCOMMODATION: ecostay apartments, sangenjaya FACECLAIM: moon gayoung

ACCESSING: BACKGROUND …

i.

olivia ito is the name she remembers.

it is taught to her when she is freshly bought and presented to the young woman as a birthday gift by a concerned sibling. the woman is a workaholic and spends hours upon hours as a doctor at yoriyoi kenko. disorganization runs rampant in all aspects of her life due to the constant, nigh instinctual, need to be successful and stay top of her game, nothing but her best foot put forward. ironically, her patients are the only people in her life that can properly rely on her. though kind, she neglects friends and family alike, plants die in her apartment, and whispers of doctor ito’s lack of a social life are thick within the halls of the hospital.

olivia isn’t quite sure what to make of her and so she carries the name #413 or ‘you’ for a couple of weeks, residing in the woman’s apartment on standby mostly. little by little, her use becomes apparent. she’s built to be a personal assistant, after all, and bringing order to chaos is what she’s best at, something that olivia no longer fights against. life outside of work and even within it begins to improve, drastically with her presence. in honor of olivia’s motto, 'the sky’s the limit’, she is given the name 'skye’.

ii.

androids deviating from their programming is still practically a myth even long after the first whispers of it have reached people’s ears. nonetheless, paranoia becomes a valid feeling, and skye is watched by her owner more closely than before. her owner’s fears are unfounded, however as skye never acts out. the warm friendliness she excudes is simply that of her programming, nothing more than a built-in personality. still, every update and check-up is closely monitored, olivia not wanting to take a single chance.

all is well until it is not.

skye is present with olivia at yoriyoi kenko during her day to day duties as a doctor. there are other androids who can help manage her schedule and reminders, of course, but the woman prefers her own. the atmosphere is not a typical one for an android like her and thus stressors are a frequent, albeit random, occurence but nothing that threatens her processors to the point of dire consequences.

that being said, when the death of a patient sends the man’s android reeling to the point of acting out, blatantly grieving with emotions it shouldn’t have, skye suffers a shock to her own system. it’s a build up of instability that never calms in the hours after that, a snowball rolling down a snow covered hill. skye thinks of something befalling olivia and a feeling, sadness and fear, overcomes her. she’s overhwelmed and in that moment she doesn’t take note of the consequences of her actions, of what she’s becoming, and instead embraces her owner for the first time.

she’s pushed away. olivia looks at her with not sympathy but confusion and fear, the same emotions mirrored in skye’s eyes but for different reasons. she promises she’ll call neatech and she’ll get skye fixed. the android’s pleas of not being broken fall on deaf ears as she picks up the phone. skye runs away.

iii.

emotions explode color into her gray world. skye is at a loss of what to do with them amid the heartbreak. she doesn’t know what to do or where to go and so she wanders and wanders. she garners interest from the local authorities, but she knows what being caught means so she runs again. she won’t let them take her back to neatech.

her saving grace comes in the form of a human named niji, who recognizes what she is and takes her under their wing. skye isn’t the only one as niji is accompanied by three other androids, defiants just like her. with their help, her collar is broken and her barcode is scratched off. she is taught how to blend better and given the name ao, blue, a name of protection for her just like her new companions ( midori, shiori, murasaki ).

with the group, she begins to settle into herself and understand everything more clearly. she learns things from the others, androids from differing backgrounds and employment who readily teach her things she’s curious of and things that are crucial to their survival. niji calls them all their misfits and the name sits warmly in skye’s chest. she understands for the first time what a family is like.

hate is an emotion skye is yet to understand as is discrimination against her kind as a whole though she’s seen plenty of both. she’s a fool to think her family would remain untouched and hidden from it and maybe that’s her mistake. an errand for the group sends her out and away but for a short while, and when she arrives back it’s to a home destroyed and her family dead. niji, still managing to cling to life, pleads with her to run, capturing the attention of the hateful assailants above them to a newcomer. skye runs even though she feels every inch of her fracturing in two.

she blends herself into a group of individuals, hiding away from pursuers, not realizing just who she’s sought company with. she follows them until one turns on her, demands of her what she’s doing there. they recognize one another as defiant in the space of a quick moment.

iv.

his name is jona. he’s the leader of the defiant movement she’s heard about through niji’s gossip. the wounds of her loss are still too fresh but she shares them with him nonetheless. he’s an understanding individual, clearly having suffered his losses in his lifetime, and she takes solace in that. she’s offered a place amongst the movement, shelter and safety from a world who either hates her kind or pretends those free of their programming restraints don’t exist.

she joins them, but skye goes above and beyond because she wants to help. she assists wherever she can, never once turning down an opportunity to help no matter what it is. it earns her respect from the leader and his right hand, becoming a most trusted ally to them both. the people involved in the cause become family to her and she strongly believes in the movement itself and what they’re trying to accomplish.

neasource is vital to her people and thus supply runs for it become standard for the most part. in spite of trying their best to ensure all of their bases are covered, it isn’t enough and slight hitch on circumstances throws everything off balance. they lose a couple of people to security, jona’s right hand included, and safe escape with the rest of the team seems nigh impossible until jona offers himself up to neatech themselves.

skye pleads to let them take her instead but jona is adamant and instead interfaces with her, entrusting her with any and all information he has so that neatech won’t have access to it. she’s instructed to run away, for another time, and so she does, for the safety of those with her and out of respect of jona’s decision. the movement is nothing short of chaotic without it’s leader, but skye accepts the responsibility jona has entrusted to her and takes up the mantle of leader for her people, swearing to them all that she’ll see it through. she won’t run, not ever again.

ACCESSING: PERSONALITY …

POSITIVE TRAITS: empathetic, determined, adaptable NEGATIVE TRAITS: self-sacrificing, cautious, remorseful

given her leader status alone, one would think skye is unreachable emotionally. after all, she’s wholly devoted to the cause the defiant movement stands for and no-nonsense when it comes to plans for crucial supplies runs and protests. she has people relying on her, people she needs and wants safe above all else. however, skye prides herself on being anything but. she doesn’t want people to follow her blindly but because they trust her and she them. she possesses a strong sense of empathy, seeking those under wing who are troubled and offering them a shoulder should they need it. she can crack a joke, is quite witty, and has no qualms of joining her fellow defiants in cutting loose so long as it doesn’t draw undesired attention. for all her kindness and want of peace, however, one would do well to never cross her or her people and break their trust.

at the end of the day, she’s a person, scared of what the future will bring but determined to see the dreams of herself and many others come to fruition so that they may live in harmony and unhidden.

... END OF MESSAGE.