#i don’t think i’d ever feel safe working at nick like idk they just be letting anything happen over there

[girltummy]

i remember the scene where cat is like “do you guys want candy ^_^” and everyone’s like sure and she digs in her bra for it and as a kid i thought that was genius like omg that’s a perfect way to store candy teehee but now i’m like um why did they tell a teenage ariana grande to reach her hand into her tits

[lucisfavoritedemon]

Crossed Oceans of Time

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Summary: Y/n always thought her hope was lost till an unexpected call from an old friend has her traveling across time to save the man she thought was once lost in an ocean of time.

Warnings: angst, fluffy fluff, cursing, hopelessness (idk why I make the reader so depressed)

Word Count: 4122

A/N: This is written for @sweeterthanthis Quote Me On It 6k Challenge. The prompt I chose was “I have crossed oceans of time to find you.” -Dracula. This story takes place during the events of End Game. I have incorporated the quote into the story. It will be bolded AND italicized. All mistakes are mine. 

Enjoy!

Everything I had seen had been a blur up to this point. My life flashed by so quick I never had a chance to process it all. Originally born in 1922, I never believed I would be able to see the day when technology would thrive. Here I am in 2023, 101 years later seeing the miracle of technology. 

I am a super soldier. One of the first experiments before Steve Rogers, aka Captain America. I volunteered myself to Dr. Erskine's experimentation, so he could develop a better, more safe serum. 

I fought by Rogers' side in many battles, including the one that would take his best friend. There is something you do not know though, of me and Sergeant Barnes. 

I had fallen for him. Not just a usual school girl crush, no. It was full blown love. Like my body had been struck by lightning the moment I laid eyes on him. 

I could sit and talk for hours about Bucky, and how much he meant to me, but that would be pointless. Bucky was gone and yet I couldn't move on. Something was keeping my heart from finding love again. 

Steve and I fought one last time together to defeat Red Skull. We thought it was the end for us, that we would be with Bucky again, but fate is a cruel mother thing. Oddly enough, the serum in our veins stopped our bodies from dying. It preserved us and helped us stay alive. 

When I woke up, all I remembered was crashing the ship. I had no recollection of anything else after. That's when we found out we were in the year 2012. For 70 years we were on ice. Poor Steve was heartbroken about Peggy, and I couldn't help but wish I was with Bucky. 

Time flew by like it was nothing, and all I felt I did was stand still and watch it go by. Steve and I had parted ways after we got back. I was hired to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. which I didn’t mind till in 2014 it all came crashing down. Almost quite literally. S.H.I.E.L.D. had HYDRA growing right under its nose. I was again left alone with nothing but a shattered heart.

Nick Fury tried to help me get back onto my feet but I wanted nothing to do with him, or anyone anymore. I was too heartbroken to even think about what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I really just wanted my Bucky back. That’s all I could ever ask of the world. 

Five years ago, something happened. I felt like my life had fallen apart again. All the friends I had attempted to make, all disappeared. I wasn’t the only one who lost people they loved and cared for. I finally felt maybe other people out there were feeling the same way I did.

Here in 2023, I have been without the love of my life for almost 80 years. I kept asking why I got to live while he was taken from the world so soon. I never got the answer to that rhetorical question, asked to no one in particular. That was till I got a peculiar call from an unknown number. I answered it hoping it would be the reaper I hoped to be greeted by to take me to the love of my life.

“Y/n?” It was a voice I hadn’t heard in almost a decade. One I thought I’d probably never hear again either.

“Steve.” I sounded cheery for once since I had been out of the ice.

“Hey. How are you doing? I know it’s been years since we talked, but I wanted to see if you wanted to go for a drive? Just you and me.” He asked, and I could tell he was smiling some on the other end.

“That sounds lovely, Steve. I’ve been hanging in there. Since S.H.I.E.L.D. and the whole HYDRA thing, I’ve just been laying low.”

“Where are you living now?” Steve queried.

“I’m living in Brooklyn actually. In my old neighborhood. 

“You used to live in Brooklyn before the war?”

“Yep. I actually lived above the antique shop. You know the one.”

“Yeah. I didn’t know we lived so close, yet we never met you till Erskine introduced us.”

“Yeah. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel the way I do now…” I sounded melancholy.

“I’m not too far from where you are. Meet where the antique shop used to be. We can talk more then, I have something I think you would love to hear.”

“Okay. I’ll meet you there.” I said, and hung up quickly. I knew there was nothing he could have told me that would make me jump for joy. He couldn’t say anything that would make my smile come back. It was gone, and faded with time.

I met him where that antique shop used to be, and I could almost picture it all. The cobblestone streets, the kids playing baseball, the world used to be a different place back then. It’s not like it was anymore, and I wish that it kind of was. 

“Hey.” Steve smiled, walking up to me.

“Hi.” I gave a small smile, but he could tell I had sadness written all over my face.

“What’s wrong?” Concern spread across his face.

“Nothing. This is just how I smile now.”

“Whoever took away your beautiful, contagious smile is going to pay.”

“Time took my smile away.”

“”Come on. I want to talk to you about something.” His smile grew wider as he led me to his car. 

He opened the door for me, and I climbed in. I buckled up as he climbed into the driver’s seat. We headed out of the city, down the countryside. The scenery was beautiful, but I still couldn’t bring myself to start a conversation.

“Hey, are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine. I have been for 11 years. What’s 40 more gonna do right?” I gave an extremely sad smile.

“Is this about Bucky?”

“There were so many times in my life where we could have met. Maybe just a year longer with him, and I would be able to move on, or maybe not. I was in love with him, Steve. The way I felt the night we first met, it was like everything in my life finally made sense. I felt like I had a purpose.”

“He’s actually the reason I wanted to talk to you.”

“What do you mean?”

“He was alive. I need your help getting him back.”

“What do you mean? That’s impossible. We both watched him die.”

“Remember when all those men were captured from the 107th, including Bucky, back in ‘43?”

“Yeah, and we went to rescue them.”

“Bucky was experimented on by Armin Zola. Turned into a super soldier himself.”

“Okay and?”

“Whatever Zola did to him, it helped him survive the fall.”

“So what I’m understanding is, you knew he was alive this entire time, and you’re just now telling me about it?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I need your help getting him back now.”

“Okay. You keep saying that, but if he is alive, why would we need to get him back?”

“Remember 5 years ago when half the earth’s population just vanished?”

“Yeah?”

“Bucky was part of that half.”

“And you think we can get him back?”

“I think we can bring back all the life lost 5 years ago. It requires us going back in time though.”

“Time travel? You’re promising time travel in a time where we thought flying cars were going to be a thing.”

“It’s possible though. We’ve tested it, and everything is up and working. We have all the dates in order, we just need the man power.”

“Alright, if it means bringing Bucky back, I’ll do it.”

“Thank you.”

Steve drove us to a huge building practically in the middle of nowhere. There I was greeted by a group of people, one of which I recognized from a brief meeting years ago. The others I didn’t know. I mean one man looked oddly familiar, but I could quite put my finger on where I had seen him before.

“Everyone, this is Y/n. She is an old friend of mine.” Steve introduced me.

“I may be old, but I sure don’t feel like it.”

“Join the club.” Steve chuckled.

“I’m Natasha. We met briefly in D.C. a few years back.” The woman I had recognized approached.

“Yes, I remember you. It’s nice to officially meet you on slightly good terms. While not being utterly terrified by a man with a metal arm.” I smiled slightly, trying to imagine how it would feel to see Bucky once more.

“So how do you two know each other?” The man that I swore looked familiar, spoke up.

“Steve and I fought together during the war.”

“Does that mean she also knew Barnes?” The man questioned.

“Yes. She did. In fact they were together for two years before HYDRA took him.”

“How does he know about Bucky?” I asked, growing concerned.

“It’s a long story.”

“I’m Tony Stark by the way.” The man spoke up, and everything was now coming together.

“I knew you looked familiar to me somehow. You look just like your father.”

“Yeah, well, join the club with everyone who says that.” Tony sounded irritated.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Y/n, it’s alright.” Steve spoke up before Tony could say anything.

He could probably tell I was freaking out. My goal was to help, not make things worse. I could tell by just opening my mouth, I was doing just that. Steve started to rub my back to calm me down.

“Is everything okay?” Natasha asked.

“She’s been through a lot. She didn’t even know Bucky was alive until a couple hours ago.” Steve replied.

“For so long I wished that something would happen so I could be back in his arms again. Now, I have a chance to see him again, and not in the afterlife. He is the man of my dreams, the love of my life. I have never felt this way about anyone before, and the fact that I have tried to move on, but couldn't just shows that I truly did love him.”

“Does she know about him?” Tony asked.

“Not about that. She doesn’t need to know.” Steve stated sternly.

“Know about what? Steve? What aren’t you telling me?”

“Stark, I agree with Steve. If she knew about him, her opinion of him may change.” Natasha interjected.

“She deserves to know the man she loved then will not be the man she is getting back.”

“What are you all going on about?”

“Barnes was the man with the metal arm you spoke of.” Tony blurted out.

“You’re wrong. Bucky would never hurt anyone. He was someone who put others before himself. He would never kill anyone.”

Steve just gave an angry look to Tony. I didn’t know who to believe. Natasha just gave me an apologetic look. I couldn’t read anyone, they all seemed to look angry or apologetic, and I didn;t know who to believe.

“Maybe the Barnes you knew wouldn’t, but over 70+ years, people change.” Tony stated before walking inside.

“Steve? Was Bucky really the man with the metal arm? If he was, I want to know. It won’t change how I feel. I just need to know, so I can help him when he comes back.”

“Yes. He was what the world knew as the Winter Soldier. He isn;t like that anymore. I promise, but he is broken and traumatized from what HYDRA did to him.”

“Understandable. Now let’s go get him and everyone else back.” I smiled, and walked inside. I didn’t have to fake one anymore. I was just happy that I finally had the chance to see Bucky again. That maybe seeing each other again could mend our souls a little bit.

Steve led me to a room where he told me to suit up. I threw on the suit laid out for me, and met the others on the main level. Steve handed me two little vials which he told me would help take me where I needed to be. He told me I was to stay with him to make sure nothing happened to me. I was perfectly okay with that.

We were all ready to find these stones. Steve showed me a picture of the stones him, Tony, Scott, and I were to be getting. I just wanted to get this over with, to be with Bucky once more. I have waited a long time for this moment, and I just couldn’t wait any longer. 

“Everyone ready?” Bruce asked.

“See you guys in a minute.” Natasha smiled.

We all shrunk down, and our groups went separate ways. I made sure to not lose sight of Steve as we landed in our desired time. We all started walking the tattered streets of New York City, and I knew where we had landed.

“Banner, you find the time stone, Stark and Lang, you two get the tesseract. I’ll get the scepter.” Steve directed.

“What about me?” I asked, curious what my task would be.

“You are staying right here. We’ll all meet right back here once we have secured our items.”

“Why am I here then if you don’t need me?”

“In case things go south.”

I roll my eyes, “fine. I’ll stay here.”

“Thank you.”

They all walk off, and I stay put where they told me to. I listen to them talking on comms to each other. They were pretty entertaining if I was being honest. That was until they started saying they lost the tesseract. Things looked hopeless now.

“What are we gonna do now? The tesseract is gone, and we don’t have any more of the capsules.” Scott paced.

“I have an extra capsule that will get me where I want to be. Please let me do this Steve?”

“Fine. I think I have an idea where you might be going. Just be careful okay?” He hands me something, “put it in here when you grab it.”

“I will. I promise I’ll be careful. I’ll see you guys when I have aquired the tesseract.” I smile.

I plug in the time and date that I wanted, and shrunk down traveling back to January 1945. The day Steve and I put the plane in the water. I remember seeing Red Skull holding it that day, right before he disappeared actually. Maybe that’s what Steve meant by ‘be careful’.

I headed straight to the hanger, and climbed inside. I hid until I knew it was safe to come out. Which meant waiting till Red Skull took off. I waited for Steve, and I to start fighting Red Skull. I came out and prepared to grab the tesseract. I had the special case Steve handed me before I left.

When Red Skull disappeared, and Steve and I went to man the ship, I grabbed the tesseract. I plugged in the date to head back, and shrunk down again, heading back to the correct timeline. I arrived as everyone else returned as well. I looked around to make sure everyone was there, but one person was missing.

“Clint, where’s Nat?” Bruce asked, looking at Clint.

“Barton, where is she?” Tony asked, being more stern.

“She’s gone...it should have been me.” He sounded so sad. I felt for him. I knew how it felt to lose someone I cared so much about.

They all gathered by the water mourning Natasha’s sacrifice. I let them have their moment. It wasn’t my place to be with them while they grieved. It just didn’t seem right, or fair to them. I sat in the lab waiting for them to come back, and assemble the gauntlet.

Steve walked in and sat next to me, “how did it go?”

“It went well. It was weird seeing Red Skull and you, and me. I think I managed well though. Why did you give me an extra capsule?”

“I figured you would go and help us, then I’d let you go and be with Bucky. Get the time you lost back.”

“That makes no sense if I lose him in the end anyways.”

“Maybe part of me hoped you would change his fate. That way you never lost him. You would never have to know what it was like to lose him.”

“That’s really sweet of you Steve, but I don’t think that would be right. For me or him.”

“I understand. I just want you to know that your pain hasn’t gone unnoticed.”

“I’m glad it hasn’t, but I really wish you knew how much I needed you too. I didn’t just miss Bucky, you were my friend too.”

“I know, but you haven’t been the same since you thought he died. You have been more closed off, you don’t smile, or laugh like you used to. I just want you to be happy again. I want to see that beautiful smile, and hear your contagious laugh once more.”

“You will again one day. Right now though, you need to help the others make this gauntlet.” I gave a half smile before moving out of the way so the others could do their job.

I sat outside with my eyes closed. Just waiting for someone to walk up to me and make sure I was okay. The light from the sun was dimmed like a shadow moved in front of me. I smiled before opening my eyes, thinking that Steve, or maybe Bucky, was standing in front of me. When I looked, I saw something that looked like a meteor heading right for the building.

I tried to run inside, but it was too late. The ball, or cannon, or whatever had already hit the building. I wiggle my way out from under the debris, but I could tell I had a pretty severe wound on my abdomen. I tried to call out to someone, but I got no response. I hoped that everyone was alright. 

I finally was able to stand up, and walked outside. There I saw Thor standing, and watching someone. I walked over to him, putting pressure on my side to make sure I stopped the bleeding. That’s when I saw Steve walking up to him too.

“What’s he doing?” Steve asked, looking where Thor was looking.

“He’s just sitting there.” Thor responded. “He doesn’t have the gauntlet right?”

“Not that I can see.”

“Let’s keep it that way.” Steve said, walking over to me.

“Who is that guy?” I asked, looking confused.

“That’s Thanos. He’s the reason half the earth’s population disappeared 5 years ago.”

“Did he figure out what we were planning?”

“It’s not the same Thanos. The one from our time, Thor killed him.” Steve said, walking over to him.

“I used to think that destroying half the planet's life would be good enough, but the other half that stuck around seems to be ungrateful. Looks like I may have to destroy this world, and create a new one, one that will be grateful for the world I have provided.”

That’s when Thor charged at Thanos, and the fight began. Tried to fight as much as I could, but I was losing more and more blood every second. I ran at him, thinking he was going to hurt Steve, but he stopped me and threw me against some rubble. I attempted to get up, but the pain was too much to fight anymore.

I watched as Steve prepared to fight by himself. I wish I had the strength to stand up and fight next to him. I just couldn’t bear the pain anymore. That’s when I heard a voice over comms that sounded kind of familiar. 

“Cap, can you read me. On your left.” The voice said, and these vortex-like things opened up, and out walked three people.

Steve turned to me, and saw that I was on the ground. He reached his hand out to me, and I took it, standing up. He smiled at me, and prepared to fight. That’s when armies of people walked through these vortexes. I stayed close to Steve, finding comfort in the one person I knew fairly well. 

“You okay?” He asked.

“I’ll be okay. I just want this douchebag dead. He took Bucky away, and now he wants to destroy the entirety of planet earth. He deserves what’s coming to him.” 

Steve smiled, “you really haven’t changed a bit. More depressed than what I remember, but your attitude is still the same.” He chuckled lightly.

I giggled, and prepared to fight to the end. I didn’t care if I died, I just wanted Steve and Bucky to live. Steve stood at the front of the army he was leading, perhaps into our last battle. I was ready to do anything. I had found my hidden strength to keep fighting till I physically couldn’t keep fighting anymore. That was quicker to come than I thought. I knew I was losing a lot of blood, but I didn’t know how quickly. Turns out when Thanos threw makeup against the rubble, I created an even bigger wound. 

Only a few minutes into the now fair fight, I started to get really dizzy. I tried to grab a hold of someone before I fell, but there was no one around me. I hit the ground and I was out for the count.

~*~

I don’t know how long I had been out for, or if I was still even alive. To my surprise, and Steve’s happiness, I was.

“Hey there sweetheart.” Steve smiled, gripping my hand tightly.

“Did we win?” Of course that would be my first question. It was the first question I asked when we came out of the ice.

He chuckled, but his look turned sad, “we won, but we lost at the same time.”

“What do you mean? Did he snap them away again?” My heart was pounding in my chest. The fear painted across my face.

“No. Everyone who disappeared is back, but Tony...he snapped Thanos and his army away, but he didn’t make it.” Steve gave me an extremely sad look.

I squeezed his hand, not even paying attention to the fact someone had just walked into the room. I didn’t even notice the person till Steve looked over to them, and got up. I couldn’t quite tell who it was because where they were standing was kind of dark. That and my eyes were fully adjusted yet, but I could tell they were tall and well built, they also had semi-long hair.

“Go on. She’s been waiting.” Steve spoke up, seeing me stare at them.

The person came closer, and I was met with their mesmerizing blue eyes. I smiled at them as they came over to sit down. He seemed closed off, or just really shy. I couldn’t quite get a read on him for whatever reason. 

“Hey.” He gave a very small smile, almost shy.

“Hey.” I smile more. 

“I’ve missed that smile.” Steve spoke up.

I giggled, “well it’s thanks to you that I feel like I can be happy again.”

The man sitting next to me just looked down. I put my hand out for him to take. He grabbed it very gently. It was colder than I thought it would be. I looked down, and saw a metal hand. He tried to pull away, but I gripped his hand tight.

“You’re not scared?” He asked.

“Because I have crossed oceans of time to find you.” I smile wide, bringing his hand to my lips, kissing it gently.

Steve smiled, “you knew it was him the whole time didn’t you?”

“Of course. Those eyes are unforgettable, and his voice is unmistakable.” I felt the hand around mine tighten, and his smile got bigger.

“I’ve missed you doll. I’ve missed you so much.” Bucky spoke.

“I missed you too. I never thought that I would ever see you again.”

We stared lovingly at each other for a while. Enjoying just taking in the fact that he was back into my life. That I had him back. That the best thing that ever happened to me was back. It was the best feeling in the world, one that I thought I would never be able to feel again. I finally felt like my heart had been put back together, and Bucky held the mold in his hands.

[firemanwhenthefloodsrollback]

Who Saved The Day? Season Four

Welcome to the fourth instalment of Who Saved The Day? in which I'm working out who, numerically, saved the day in the most episodes of Buffy. As the totals list is getting quite long now I'll just put the characters who have more than one point here to summarise where we are at the end of season three:

Buffy: 32

Angel: 5

Giles: 4

Faith: 2

Willow: 2

Xander: 2

Now that we're out the end of season 3 we've said goodbye to Angel so I don't imagine he'll get many more points. let's see where the totals go in season four - one of the most varied and (if we're being cruel) all over the place seasons, so I'm not at all sure yet what we'll find.

1. The Freshman: Buffy

Emotional moment in an otherwise average episode when the class protector award inspires Buffy to come out fighting and kill that mean vampire with a tennis racket.

2. Living Conditions: Giles

Hard to call this one as Buffy certainly does a lot, but I'm going with giving Giles the point here because he put Buffy's soul back into her body in the nick of time.

3. The Harsh Light of Day: Buffy

Removing Spike's jewellery counts as saving the day in this episode.

4. Fear, Itself: Buffy

Giles might arrive with the chainsaw but Buffy does the stomping.

5. Beer Bad: Buffy

Off topic but what was this episode friends? Buffy saves Willow and Parker from the fire but, a far more important victory, she gets Parker in the head with the club and honestly that deserves the point infinitely more.

6. Wild At Heart: Oz

Look I know Buffy tranquillised Oz after he ripped Veruca's throat out, but how could I not watch Oz kill Veruca to defend Willow and not give him the point. I love you Oz.

7. The Initiative: Willow

Weird episode? I'm not sure who the villain was, really, because Spike and the Initiative both come across as a bit useless here and I didn't feel a lot of threat. Buffy fights the initiative soldiers but doesn't accomplish much, so Willow gets the point for hitting Spike with a lamp.

8. Pangs: Buffy

Buffy stabs the bear. Angel was maybe less helpful than I'd have hoped for his grand return.

9. Something Blue: Willow

Another episode like Doppelgangland where the person who caused the trouble ends the trouble, but I'll take that. Another point for Willow and side note, this is one of my absolute favourite comedy episodes they ever did.

10. Hush: Buffy

Riley may have destroyed the box but Buffy did the scream, so the point is hers. Also I'm not inclined to rule in Riley's favour more than I have to. That's just me declaring my biases.

11. Doomed: Buffy

You don't dive into the Hellmouth and get deprived of a point.

12. A New Man: Riley

Riley? Idk. He arrests Ethan while Buffy is fighting Giles by mistake so sure Riley, have a point. Ethan's still cooler than you though.

13. The I In Team: Buffy

Buffy fights the demons and makes a cool speech, winning her the point.

14. Goodbye Iowa: Buffy

Not really an episode in which the day was saved but Buffy came out of the fight with Adam best of everyone there.

15. This Year's Girl: Buffy

Flawless episode. Flawless episode in which nobody won. I had absolutely no idea who to give the point to here because Buffy fully loses here. This is the hardest episode so far for me needing to pick someone who saves the day every time. Buffy fighting Faith keeps Joyce safe and gives her some time to call the police? It doesn't do anything good long term but she gets the point because no one else does.

16. Who Are You: Tara

Look this one was hard. Willow and Tara do the spell to conjure the device that switches Buffy and Faith's bodies back, and I think they deserve credit equally but my stupid rules that I came up with don't let me do that. Tara is on top of her game this episode and she really drives the plan working so she gets the point, but I'm really splitting hairs to give it to her over Willow. Maybe I should give it to Willow. Maybe I should give it to Buffy. Idk.

17. Superstar: Jonathan

Jonathan pushed the demon into the pit so he gets the point. Yeah, I feel weird about it too.

18. Where The Wild Things Are: Anya

Anya and Xander earned the point equally here, but my rules won't let me give them both the point. Season four is the hardest one by a long way to choose who gets what. I'm going with Anya because she saved Xander in the bathroom and seemed more in control of the situation in general, but I'll hear arguments for why it shouldn't be her.

19. New Moon Rising: Buffy

What an emotionally complex episode. Buffy rescues Tara from Oz and then rescues Oz from the initiative, so it's Buffy all around here really. The only thing she couldn't save was my heart.

20. The Yoko Factor: Buffy

No one saves the day. The day is not saved. But Buffy leaves at the end with the intention of saving the day and that's honestly... all we've got here. I don't know. Please argue with me here I have no idea.

21. Primeval: Buffy

Everyone did the spell but Buffy did the Matrix.

22. Restless: Buffy

My heart's darling. You can tell from my url that I love this episode. Buffy is everything here and no one else gets a look in.

And that's season four! More morally complex than I remembered and also a lot of episodes where no one wins anything. I'm more open to being argued with here than for any of the previous seasons because this was hard.

Totals at the end of season four:

Buffy: 43

Angel: 5

Giles: 5

Willow: 4

Anya: 2

Faith: 2

Oz: 2

Xander: 2

Other people who only got 1 each: 8

I'm excited for season 5 because I think things are going to get intense.

Read the rest of the series if you would like to! my intro post, Season 1, Season 2, Season 3, Season 5, Season 6, Season 7

[janesramblings]

Nancy Drew 2x8 Review/Thoughts

Spoilers!!!

okay it took me so long to realize this was a flashback I’m blaming it on the fact that I’m watching this at eight in the morning

idk why Bess has married this guy but he’s both creepy and borderline abusive

okay good job Bess that was very clever

Aunt Diana is really just getting what she wants from Bess isn’t she

i wouldn’t be surprised if Bess isn’t really a Marvin

“stranger danger” oh Ace I adore you

I get why Bess is lying but Bess this is Ace! Your platanchor.

has Nancy ever actually worked at the claw or does she just use it as a safe space to solve mysteries?

“it hasn’t come up in conversation” oh George repression is unhealthy

Nancy’s hair styles are always so pretty

I know Ryan says he’s got this but something tells me he hasn’t got this

“Nancy’s here? Right now? Did she say anything about me?” i feel so bad for this man

Really bold of Nick to say that Nancy will talk when she’s ready after dumping her because she didn’t talk to him

“Ryan I see you stop being so weird” I LOVE THESE TWO

also his head sticking out of the door scared me so much

whoa I just saw Ace in the back of that scene just staring at Nancy as she runs out. He doesn’t even look concerned

Bess’s mom threw her out? Can someone hug this girl?

okay manipulation is bad but manipulating BESS is just wrong

FINALLY thank you Bess for telling Ace

I don’t trust this line cook. nothing has convinced me to not trust him except that he’s in the show and he’s new

aunt Diana has an ulterior motive and i really want to know what it is

Ryan and Val are gonna end up together that’s my conclusion from this

sometimes I forget that George is Nancy’s boss until she says stuff like “this is a wage advance”

yikes please don’t kill George... again

lol Ryan and Nick as best friends

“The woods, they speak to me” god I love Ace

“okay well I’m trying to rationalize and you’re not letting me”

if I didn’t ship Nancy and Ace so much I’d definitely be on board with Nancy and George

“Have you seriously been thinking about flatlining me?” “Not seriously” Queens I tell you QUEENS

wow this guy really just kidnapped George and Nancy didn’t he

I hope he realizes that he mad a bad decision

Bess looks so cute

Just tell Diana Bess

of course Nancy knows about knots

George (Odette?) is making some good points here it does always involve Nancy

WHO, ACE???

OH HONEY DARLING WE ALL KNOW THAT YOU STARE AT ACE BUT NOW YOU JUST ADMITTED IT

i love how chill Nancy was about that she was just like “oh cool a husband”

i love the sarcasm George and Odette are one and the same

“yes he left us detailed instructions and a warm breakfast” “oh am I still here? what hilarity”

I said this earlier but reporter lady (Val?) and Ryan are going to be a couple and also Ryan is NOT down-to-earth

OH NO OH NO REPORTER LADY HAS A HUNCH ABOUT RYAN’S DAUGHTER

(also she and Nancy would get along so well)

oh crap Bess is making a bad decision

how many existential crises is Nancy gonna go through?

“ugh him again” odette is kind of growing on me

oh my god thank you Ace I was so scared for a second there

lollll Ace giving a history lesson while explaining how to undo the knot

oh my gosh of course Odette would get scared by that

Also George is going to have so explaining to do isn’t she?

Bess please get out of the road

Yikes this is going to be bad isn’t it?

oh my gosh poor Bess just wanted a family

Nancy and Ace are sitting very close together

I hope nancy knows that she can sit in chairs and not on the arm rest

Did Ace just tap Nancy’s leg?

oh no val is going to make things very hard for Ryan isn’t she?

milk and cookies do solve every problem very wise Ace

the music in this show is so good

was a locker really a good hiding place???

seems questionable to me

okay trailer time

Nancy and Ace are very close to each other

ooo who’s nancy talking to? who’s warning her?

Ace and Amanda are sitting too close to allow Nace to happen

just saying

okay Nancy spinning infront of Gil while saying “do you trust me” also doesn’t seem to be allowing for Nace to happen

wow okay I have so many questions

[ziracona]

hey zira, what are your hot takes on all of the fo4 companions?

Haha, I don’t know how hot they are, but I can give you a speed run! (Also I am very excited to get this. FO4 was the first open world game I ever played and just the concept of that and the hugeness of the world and branching story & sudden feeling changes towards me in companion characters totally blew my mind, & it still lives rent free in my heart).

Ada, Old Longfellow, and Strong I /still/ haven’t maxed despite having too many hundred hours to want to list on this game—the former bc they were DLC, Strong because honest to god I left him at a nice settlement and then completely forgot about him and remembering that I am the energy in this Ryan O’Flanagan video but abt leaving my super mutant in a tiny settlement alone. I will get there! To max affinity I mean. But anyway, I don’t truly know those three, so my takes are incomplete. So far though, I really like Ada. She is a good girl just trying her best. Fucks me up I can tell her to self destruct. Even though I feel sure she would ignore me, I cannot imagine ever saying that to her. It was really sweet she was willing to forgive the Mechanist and move on with her life. A good girl. Longfellow I am maxing rn (was last time I played anyhow). I enjoy him. Gruff grumpy old man but he seems quite decent and I like his idle banter and when he sings to himself a lot. Seems like he’s had it rough. Strong I liked. He’s wild, and I loved how insane meeting him was, and am worried about him eventually understanding poetry and how that might mess up his sense of world understanding. But he’s a chill dude in his own way and I am glad they gave us at least one nice super mutant.

For the companions I actually do know like the back of my hand, the speedrun:

Nick Valentine: Best man on earth. One of two fictional characters I ever called husband. I would die kill or live for him. I want to be 1/4th the man Nick Valentine is. One of the best characters ever period and I adore literally everything about him. It fucked me up early in game where right after he offered to basically risk destroying his mind to help a stranger look for her son, he asked me how I was doing. First character in the entire game to do that. His first companion dialogue is abt how you’re doing TuT. The man is very kind and forgiving and fair, but knows when the draw the line and take no shit. Emotionally mature, kind, caring, longsuffering. Incredibly damaged and broken by life, but holding on and living kindly and to help others anyway. One of the four most marryablen fictional men I’ve ever seen.

Preston Garvey: Brave, kind, sweet man. I would defend him with my life. He really just wants so bad to make the world better and life has been so hard, but he’s still trying. A beautiful and underrated companion and I would throw hands for him on sight. I adore how he whistles. A true and gentle and loyal friend. Take him to Quincy and let him get his justice it’s what he deserves. People who hate him because he tries to get help helping civilians in that game are weak. I love him so much... please give him enough time to reach max affinity he’s so worth it.

Deacon: *To the tune of You Are My Dad* You are my friiiiend! You’re my friend! (Boogie woogie woogie). Initially, he pissed me off bc he lies all the god damn time, but after we got close enough he actually trusted me, he stole my heart and I would also die for Deacon. He’s a really good person who thinks he’s shit because of who he was on his past. Also him 🤝 Preston: massive survivor’s guilt. They should be friends. Poor Deacon has been the last member of the Railroad like four times, and it’s awful. Help him. Give him love and support. He’s one of my all time faves. Also, Railroad hands down best faction and if you kill them for any reason other than like a walkthrough route video and I ever get the chance I would 100% clock you in the face as hard as I can, like going for losing teeth, and feel no guilt. I know it’s a game and that’s wrong, and I’d be wrong, but I’d still do it. Also, Ryan Alosio (his VA) saw me do cosplay for Deacon once and told me it was great and it filled me with even more love. Anyway Deacon is great. Also, his whole “There are other organisations out there. And, in time, I'm sure they're going to spoon-feed you their own patented form of bullshit. Ignore the verbage and look at what they're doing. What they're asking you to do. What sort of world they'd have you build and how they're going to pay for it.” Is one of the like, two most iconic quotes in all of FO4 & just super good in general.

Hancock: Hardcore badass man but also a good dude and a champion for the people. Man really puts his money where his mouth is and you gotta respect that; another favorite companion for sure. Big fan of the way he stabs a guy for you upon meeting, and is a cool leader who organized his crime and does a decent job actually leading. He works hard to help people and bites back hard. Social justice advocate, dangerous man about town, not afraid to cosplay a revolutionary war hero 24/7 & u gotta respect the no fucks given attitude. A chill dude. Like that he fights the institute, hates the Brotherhood, helps the Railroad, and is friends with Nick. He’s legit af. Also, his VA gives a different answer every time someone asks him about the voice he did for hancock and they’re funny af.

Piper Wright: A cool spunky lady. Lois Lane on the case, kicking butt, and taking name. She’s nice but also hardcore and smart, supportive, fun. A good person. You always get points if you like Nick (which most companions do), and they’re good friends. She’s funny and I love her. A good heart.

Codsworth: He’s great. He’s family. He’s like my...weird brother. Getting to max affinity is heartwarming and also makes my heart go :’-] . Great early-game companion bc he kicks ass and doesn’t need stims to heal. I love getting called by my name and think that was a great feature (well, my PC’s name). He’s a wonderful funky little robot dude and I am so glad he likes me.

Dogmeat: Amazing. A good boy. Doggo of the year. His actor deserved the game award she won. Cute, full of love, and plays with a teddy bear if you give him one. 100/10z

Cait: I like her a lot. She’s been through so much shit, and it makes sense she is how she is. I like they actually gave her an emaciated and messy (though still pretty) design, since she is a drug addict. And that they make her main quest about taking that seriously and wanting to get help, and that she’ll call out the player if they fuck around and do drugs in front of her after she gets rehabilitated. Her relationship to the PC if good is really sweet, and I am a fan. I like that while she’s not sympathetic to synths and thinks they aren’t people, she forgets that every time Nick walks into a room and is like “Oh hey Nicky : )”. She’s a good girl who has been through a lot and still needs time to heal and find herself, but she’s making great strides.

Robert Joseph MacCready: Human disaster (loving). Homeboy a goddamn /mess/ but I love him. He tries so hard to be cool. I love he makes you pay him to come with, then chickens out and gives it back lol. A fool ball of anxiety and bad decisions and what he thinks brovado is. I wish he, Preston, and Deacon would quit fighting, bc I am always like “ :’-] </3 Boys Please” when they swap out, but I love them just the same. He’s doing his best, he’s just stupid and a fool. Like Philip J Fry. Keeping his goddamn soldier toy, which somehow is listed as junk instead of sent to Misc with quest items where it would be fine, safe?parylizes me with fear. I’ve lost 2 hours of gameplay reloading an old save bc I accidentally lost it.

X6-88: A more complex one to answer about. He’s bad, but like, I’m pretty sympathetic to how he got that way. He was created in a lab and had his emotions mostly dragged out of him in intense psychologically damaging training so he would be a weapon and view himself as an object. I was relieved he chose me over the institute even if he wasn’t a fan of the chocie, and think that means there’s a lot of hope for him. Wish he’d chill the fuck out and quit intimidating civilians for 6 god damn seconds, but I like him. I bring him fancy lad snack cakes home from travels all the time, bc Synths are supposed to like them. Really like that he’s the /most/ sympathetic companion towards Danse in Blind Betrayal, even though he should not be programmed for that, and Danse hated him and made it clear any time they interacted.

(EDIT) Curie: I FORGOT HER BABY IM SO SORRY. I like Curie a lot, despite the fact I temporarily forgot she existed. I stg I thought she was in here. Uhhh, okay. Curie: like her character and personality, HUGE un-fan of both the way her desire to get a synth body is to be ‘more real,’ as if Codsworth isn’t a fully realized person while the same robot type she is, instead of just like. Because it would make her happy. ALSO hate how much of a Born Sexy Yesterday she is, even intentionally in not-determinate affinity talks. It’s gross. But her herself, I like a lot. She’s my daughter and I will protect her. She works at The Castle right now as their on-site medic.

Paladin Danse: I know I’m gonna take heat for this but honestly? He didn’t do much for me. I like that he looks and sounds kinda like Buzz Lightyear, and that’s fun, but idk at all why people think he’s so hot. He’s very boring & generic looking to me. Like you’re valid! Taste all be different. But he doesn’t do it for me personally in looks or personality. I don’t at all like, hate him. Or even dislike. Tbh I am fairly neutral on him. It was funny making affinity with him though. Every other companion I had maxed, I liked more and more with each affinity talk. They’d be like “So my dad was a minuteman and died and I want to honor him” or “I just want to really feel like I’m a person, for real, myself, and I am glad I met you, because the good we have achieved together is ours, even if I can’t be sure of anything else,” or “My brother threw the cultural minorities out of our city for clout bc the rich citizens were all racist, and I tried to help—I snuck them food to the unsafe ruins they set up in for weeks, but eventually, they just vanished, and I still bear immense guilt and self-hatred over not having stopped that.” And Danae’s would be like “One time a buddy of mine got kidnapped by super mutants. They turned him into one of them, and they’re all abominations, so I killed him and it made me really sad.” And I was just like “...Oh danse. I really wanted to like you more. But what the fuck.” His relationship to Haylen is sweet though. And ofc I saved him in Blind Betrayal. I blew up the Prydwin so he’s safe now too, and he lives in the garden by my house and tells me how glad he is we’re friends, and I’m p into that. Overall, my feelings on him are not strong at all though.

Porter Gage: Not a fan. Like, I appreciated he helped me kill the old boss, sure. And bc I owed him for that, I went to max affinity to see what there was to him as a person. And like, as far as raiders go, he was okay. But he wasn’t deeply sympathetic, and he’s a slaver, and if you try to liberate the slaves he and the others own, he /will/ turn on and attempt to murder you immediately, no matter how close you were, so he made his choice, and it was to be a bad person and an asshole to the last. Really enjoyed the VA’s work a lot on him tho.

And there you have it 👈👈😎. Thanks for asking!

[creativeskullcreations]

HTaHHQ Episode 3: The Vengeance of an Artist (part 2)

And here's the final part! Looks like the prank went pretty well, and Stacy's warmed up to another Puppet. At least, to the point where she won't run in fear. Maybe, she'll even help him with more stuff in the future.

Next episode will be out... idk. Might be the next thing I write actually. Until then, hope y'all have a good time. :D

"Miss Stein, I have a job for you."

"I don't have to do any jobs for you." Stacy told him, voice kept deliberately even. Nick felt a little put out, holding Scout up by her arm. The handpuppet just hung there,

"You doing one for Daisy." he argued, pointing at the little blue annoyance. Stacy huffed and, to his shock, stalked forward to outright snatch the smaller Puppet from his grasp.

"Don't hold her like that!" She admonished, settling Scout on her head. "Daisy will kill you if you hurt her."

'How odd.' He thought, watching Stacy handle the little cretin. Outwardly, he sighed. "Yes yes, I'm well aware of her temper. Now, come along. We have a job to do."

"We have to wait here for Mary." Stacy told him sternly, and he smirked.

"Oh, don't worry about her. She'll be busy for quite a while yet."

In the writers' room, Mary slammed her hands on her desk in frustration, a mess of papers spread out in front of her. "Why the fuck does he always wait until Friday to request plot and script changes?!"

"She'll be done soon enough, but it gives us enough time for you to help me." Nick told Stacy, who frowned. This wasn't good at all.

"... I still need to stay with Danny though." She tried, desperate to find any reason to refuse. This wasn't at all like when Scout took her to the playroom.

"He can come with and help." Nick told them, turning and starting to wheel away. "Now, come along. We're wasting time."

Danny seemed happy enough to tag along, but Stacy kept a tight grip on his hand as they followed Nick down the hall and to the elevator by the door. He inserted his key card, and then stood aside to let the kids on first. Stacy climbed into the tiny box nervously. The only reason she was deciding to trust him was because she knew the playroom was up there, and she could hide in there with Danny if needed.

Up, up, up they went, to the highest floor. And then down the winding halls to a plain door with a hazard sign and the words KEEP OUT underneath it in bright red. It was also covered in various science themed stickers, like cartoonish beakers full of bright colors, and various medical tools. It didn't take a genius to know who slept in here.

"Why are we outside of Riley's bedroom?" Stacy asked, and then immediately regretted it when Nick coughed lightly into his fist. That was the cue that he was about to go into a monologue. She recognized it, because he used to do it at least once a episode in the show.

"Well, since she stole my beloved paints, I've decided to do some research into her "science", and found that replacing her beakers with these ones made of sugar glass will be hilarious." He held out the beakers, and scoffed when he noticed Stacy's look. "Oh don't give me that look, she keeps all her dangerous chemicals elsewhere. She just likes to keep her beakers for the show up here where it's "safe". It'll be great when they melt during Monday's filming."

"And why do you need me?" The girl asked. She fought the urge to cross her arms and tap her foot, though her impatience still leaked into her voice.

"I'm banned from Riley's room." Nick deadpanned, and it took everything Stacy had to not facepalm. Of course. "Also, Danny told me you're good at breaking into places you're not supposed to be."

"Danny! That's a secret!" She rounded on him, feeling her face go hot.

"But Nick asked!" The boy insisted unapologetically. "And besides, you said it was a good skill."

"No, I said it was a good skill to know, not a good skill by itself. Also, stop telling people stuff about me!" She looked mad, and Nick thought that was a good thing. Certainly a better look then the scared little girl he and the others usually saw. Now if he could just encourage her to lose the baggy shirts... but no. Plan the makeover for another time. For now, it was time for revenge!

He cleared his throat, wheeling closer and holding the box of beakers out. "Will you do it, or not?" He asked bluntly, and Stacy crossed her arms.

"I am not getting involved in your stupid little-"

"I'll give you fifty dollars." He whipped out the fifty from a hidden pocket in his sweater, and the girl stopped mid sentence. After a beat she snatched the bill, turning and crouching in front of the door. She tucked the money under her right glove, pulling out a couple of slim tools as she did so.

"I can't believe I'm selling myself for a fifty." She muttered as she unlocked the door. It was surprisingly simple, and it made her feel uneasy as she put the tools away. She grabbed the box of beakers, then handed off Scout. She peered inside, noting the lack of Riley or Rosco. "It looks empty." She told Nick, who waved her on.

With a nervous swallow, she entered the too bright room, the door closing most of the way behind her. There was a large table in the middle, and a messily made bed shoved in one corner. The walls were covered in shelves that were full of books on all sorts of subjects. Any other time, and she would've loved to see just what kinds of books were there. But, she had a job to do.

She crossed to the shelf that held the box of beakers, and quickly swapped it for the identical fakes. Holding the box of real beakers close, she crossed the room back to the door. she heard something open behind her, Riley's voice drifting through. Thinking quick, she ducked under the table, hopeful it would be enough.

"Let's see, if we do the mentos experiment again that should be good enough. Could have the kiddies make volcanoes..." She muttered as she wheeled past. Stacy stayed huddled down, hands over her mouth to muffle her breathing. She watched the stand stop by a shelf, followed by the sound of fabric hitting fabric as she threw something to the bed. "Maybe baking soda? That might work better. Or maybe as a comparison between the two... Yes! That would be fantastic for an experiment!" Pencil against paper, and then the sound of things being moved. Stacy threw a desperate look towards where the door was still ajar.

Technically, Stacy could sneak out if she was quick. Riley was still talking to herself, and seemed distracted enough. But, she didn't know which way the Puppet scientist was facing. If she was facing the door, Stacy would be caught immediately, and then they'd all be in deep dookie. And she couldn't check, because, again, deep dookie if she was caught.

But, she couldn't just sit there for forever. And so, with a deep, quiet breath, Stacy leaned carefully out from under the table, just enough to check where Riley was looking. To her luck, it looked like her attention was completely absorbed by the books. A glance back at the door showed it had opened a little bit wider, with Scout, Nick, and Danny all peering in at her. Okay, she could work with this.

Carefully, she set the box of beakers down with as little noise as possible. With any luck, they wouldn't be noticed under the table. She then resettled into a runners starting position, noting how Nick was on her left and Danny on her right. 'Perfect.'

With a bang she burst through the door, grabbing Nick's sweater while scooping her brother up in her right arm. She managed to turn and drag them both out of sight as a startled "What the-" followed her out of the room. She turned another corner before finally letting go of both of them, hopeful that Riley hadn't seen them. And that she wouldn't try and follow them.

Unfortunately for Nick, he had been precariously balanced on one wheel during the escape. So, when Stacy let go of his sweater, he tipped over immediately with a loud thump. Scout landed on his chest, having been safely in his arms during the whole thing.

"That was totally awesome!" She yelled, as Stacy tried to shush her. She was still holding Danny, who was clapping, and thus didn't have a hand free to stop the Puppet from flinging herself at her face.

"Scout, shut up!" She hissed, grabbing her. She covered her mouth and waited to make sure Riley hadn't heard. "You can't let her know we're up here, or we could get in trouble."

"Oh please, like I'd let that happen." Nick had somehow righted himself, "standing" straight as ever and talking in a low voice. "Besides, you at least get to be up here since you became Scout's babysitter. Don't pout, it's true." He told Scout when she opened her mouth to object.

"Yeah, but we should still get out of here before she finds us!" Stacy insisted, ignoring Danny's pushing at her arm. She finally noticed as he kicked her side, jumping a bit and putting him down. "Oh, sorry Danny." She grabbed his hand, not wanting him to wander off and alert Riley.

"Right. Come along, this way." He led them down another hallway, a different way to get to the elevator without having to backtrack. This time there was no place to slide a key-card, which made sense. They were already in the forbidden area after all. They got inside, staying quiet the whole ride down.

Once back on the main floor, Stacy expected to go back to the Sound Stage, where her and Danny were before. Instead, Nick led them to the writing offices, and she watched as the Puppets and Danny disappeared into Mary's office. Stacy hung back, lingering in the hall to look around a little.

The doors had windows with frosted glass on them, like in the old noir movies her dad liked to watch. As a result she couldn't see inside, so instead she crouched down to peer into the keyhole of Mortimer's office.

The Puppet was there, bent over some paperwork, hat sitting on the desk next to him. Stacy thought he looked weird with it off, and not how he was supposed to. She looked away after a moment, content the magician wasn't doing anything potentially dangerous to anyone. Instead she finally followed the others into Mary's office, where her stepmother was berating Nick for something.

She stepped into the room, letting the door close softly behind her and cutting off Mary's tirade.

"Oh, there you are! Go get your stuff Stacy, we're leaving now before I commit a murder." She told the girl, who nodded and quickly left the room again. Danny followed a moment later.

"Mommy's mad." He told her, and she nodded as her voice rose behind them.

"-and how DARE you do this to me now! You know better! Do I really need to talk to Mortimer about this again?!"

"Real mad. Let's hurry so we can get home!" Together they rushed to collect their bags from Stacy's locker. However, during the walk back, she couldn't keep her mind from wandering to the little adventure earlier.

'Maybe Nick's not so bad. He didn't say anything about my lock picking skills at least. Maybe... Maybe I could do more jobs for him. Later.'

[elejahfanfic]

soldier of love/10

Fanfiction

Part 10

This is an AU Nick Amaro fanfic story. A little love story.

Pairing_ Nick Amaro x Elena Gilbert

 featuring lyrics by_Player_Baby Come Back

tag_ @miguelsbrat​

thank you for reading xoxo ✽-(ˆ◡ˆ)/✽

🦋🎉🪁

"I can't do this. Not again" Nick breathed in deep pulling away from Elena as if scolded.

"Nick" the brunette pleaded softly, trying to catch his eyes.

"No." he shook his head. "I will not go there. I don't know what I am doing here"

As he pushed by her, she took hold of his arm. "I never wanted to do this. Those three days were the best I ever had."

"I don't believe you."

"Nick, please. It's true."

Turning sharply around, his eyes blazed at her with the same hurt darting at her.

"You broke me! You - after Maria, you were the only one that I felt I could be with. But it was all just fun -wasn't it? Taste a bit of latino co-"

A resounding sudden slap stopped him from finishing sentence as Elena struck him violently across the face. Nick felt his jaw and the full force of her ferocious vent that sprouted.

“Yes, I lied! Yes, I don’t deny it. But it was to save you! Silas threatened to kill you - and I thought this was the best way to keep you away - I couldn’t see you dead. I chose to hurt us both. Be far away from you - but keep you safe. And it turned to be the right thing - because Silas was crazy - Lucien was right to warn me. And look what had happened to him, he paid a deadly price.”

Elena’s words fell out of her mouth like vapour but landed in his guts as shrapnels. He felt his insides tear, and the blood drain from his. face.

“Go!”

“No!” Nick slammed the door shut. Regret in his voice about the unfair accusation ran deep. “I’m really sorry about what I had said. I - this is not me - I never spoke to a woman like that - I - I’m really sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too” Elena lifted her ice cold eyes at the detective, looking at him as if he was a stranger. Her eyes were a knife in his ribs, the sharp point digging deep. Where there had been love was an emptiness, but in a vulnerable sense. Elena now turned away, opening the door. staring at the wall, avoiding the detective’s gaze.“I’d like you to go now.”

Without a word, Nick opened the door, leaving the apartment. Closing the door shut behind him, Elena slid down to the floor, tears crushing out of her, flooding her knees, her heart beating painfully in her chest wanting only one thing. Wanting him back.

Days that followed, seemed to be worse than any of those she had spent away in France.

Spending all my nights, all my money going out on the town Doing anything just to get you off of my mind But when the morning comes, I'm right back where I started again Trying to forget you is just a waste of time

Baby come back, any kind of fool could see

There was something in everything about you Baby come back, you can blame it all on me I was wrong, and I just can't live without you

All day long, wearing a mask of false bravado

Trying to keep up the smile that hides a tear But as the sun goes down, I get that empty feeling again How I wish to God that you were here

*

“Just choose whatever paintings you want, Soph. I’m ok with anything. Just not the one you are holding.” Elena said to the gallerist.

“Is that him?” Sophie said putting the painting back on the table.

“Yes. I got to go. Call you later.”

“Ok. Later.” Sophie said waving to her assistant to come and help her choose what to exhibit.

Some twenty minutes later, Elena entered the 16th Precinct.

“I’d like to talk to Seargent Benson” the brunette said to detective Fin Tutuola.

Before, he could answer, Olivia came out of the interrogation room 1. Wasting no time Elena asked the detective if they could talk somewhere more private.

“Sure. What is this about?”

“Nick” Elena said in a serious manner.

“He is not here. He moved to California.” Olivia replied, her own demeanour dismissive and stern.

“Can we talk somewhere more private, please. It will not take long.” Elena demanded.

“Sure” Olivia scoffed and now gestured to Elena to follow her to interrogation room 2.

“Ok. I haven’t got much time.”

“I know that Nick is not in California. I saw him. I also figured out that he is deep cover.” Elena said.

“Right” Olivia said not moved.

“I know how things work. Even if he is in deep cover, he still gets in touch with his family through trustworthy people. And I know that you are one of those people he trusts. I also know that you don’t like me. But I don’t care. Can you please pass him a message.”

“Can you please leave.” Olivia now said.

“Tell him - dos gardenias. He will understand.Thank you. Elena said and spinning around, she looked at the seargent with soft eyes. “You may think what you want about me, but I really love him.”

*

In Upper West Side, Nick put the old record by Buena Vista Social Club on.

“What’s with you and this song?” Erin asked as she entered the living room.

“Nothing.” Nick replied switching it off.

“Hey - it’s ok. Just - you are kind of having it on repeat like all the time in the last couple of days.”

“It just - reminds me of - it doesn’t matter.”

“Come on, spill. Oh” Erin suddenly put two and two together. “It is to do with her.”

“No.”

“Nick - look -if someone listens a song on repeat - it means a shit load of something - I guess everything. If you got to go and see her, it’s ok. I will cover for you. You covered for me and Kelly.” Erin said.

“I fucked up. I don’t think she wants to see me again. Maybe she already gone back to Paris.”

“And what if she is not?” Erin tilted her head at the detective poignantly.

“What i did the other night was very unprofessional. I can’t repeat that. I can’t blow my cover. We are so close to getting the Salvatores.”

“Right.”

“Let’s get over the details of the meeting with Giuseppe.” Nick said as he sat down on the sofa.

A couple of minutes into the conversation, his burner phone buzzed. Taking it, he now read Olivia’s message.

Elena was here. She says - dos gardenias. idk why I’m doing this. ok. later.

Nick’s heart jumped up, his whole being feeling like it got a new lease of life.

[purplesurveys]

655

Can you name a uniquely named crayon in the Crayola 64 pack? The one color name I have never ever EVER forgotten in the last 15 or so years I’ve been aware of Crayola 64, is macaroni and cheese. I used it a lot solely because of its name. Carnation pink was also pretty unique to me, and I remember being bothered as a kid as to why they didn’t just name it pink lmao. What kind of car did your parents have while you were growing up? We used to have a sky blue Mitsubishi Lancer that was around for a little over a decade. Do you tie your socks together or roll them up? I roll them up and put it in a ball. I am not aware that tying up socks is a thing. When's the last time you had peanut butter? Ooh, safe to say it was many months ago. I don’t really like peanut butter as a filling; I like peanut-butter flavored food more, but I haven’t had those in a while, either. What was your last bad date? It’s been a while. My girlfriend and I barely see each other, so we try not to fight in the 1-2 times a week that we get to hang out.

Do you ever wish your birthday was on a different day? In 2019 I certainly wished it was on a different day, because my birthday then was on the same day as Easter and none of my friends were available to celebrate with me – save for Angela who went great lengths to make sure she at least had dinner with me and made me feel less sucky. What holiday would you want to have your birthday on? I’d never want to have my birthday on a holiday again, if that last answer wasn’t clear enough. Have you ever gone snorkeling or scuba diving? I’ve gone snorkeling in Boracay and Palawan, and that one time we went on a beach trip for biology class in high school. I’ve never tried scuba diving, and I’m a little anxious to give it a shot if ever because I feel like it’s a little more complicated to follow than just snorkeling.

If yes, what's the coolest thing you've seen? Allow me to be a kid in answering this, because the genuinely coolest creatures I have ever seen are the Nemo and Dory kinds of fish :)))))) Do you sunburn easily? As a kid yes. They used to hurt a lot too. I don’t sunburn at all now but I do get very tan. What's your favorite filling in chocolates? Peanut butter. When's the last time you had a smore? Sometime in senior year of high school. I had a brief phase of liking smores, but then I ordered it too much and I got tired of it quickly. Have you read the Twilight series? More times than I could count. Does your best friend have any phobias? Not really a phobia but Gabie doesn’t like being in malls as they are closing because she gets scared of the sound of the roll-up doors getting pulled down. She says she feels like she’ll get trapped inside the mall hahaha. What's the last thing you said to your mom? I asked her if she wanted a kind of snack I know she likes, since I’ll be passing by the store that has them. Why couldn't you go to sleep the last time you were up all night? This doesn’t happen to me, fortunately. If I can’t sleep, watching YouTube videos while in bed would do the trick. What breed of dog do you find the most annoying? Fucking chihuahuas. I care for them whenever it’s necessary e.g. if I hear a story about an abused chihuahua, but in the grand scheme of things I do not like them at all. Do you prefer the taste of lemon or limes? Lemon. What do you think about Sarah Palin running for president in 2012? I don’t have much knowledge or opinion of politics of other countries. What would you name your firstborn son? I’d definitely insert a tribute to my significant other’s dad as a second name, but I’m still not 100% sure on a first name. Do you cook anything you don't like eating? I can’t even cook food that I do like, lmao. What's the last picture you colored? It’s a photo of a group of houses, which is a page in an adult coloring book that I own. Do you make out sentences out of the little Vday candy hearts? No. What is the cheesiest way a guy could propose marriage? Idk, anything can be cheesy/sweet as long as you pull it off.

Do you watch any reality shows on MTV or VH1? I never did. Would you have a better chance of surviving in the Sahara or Alaska? Sahara. I’m in a tropical climate, so I feel like I’d have some survival hacks somewhere hot. I don’t know how winter works at all, and what to prepare for it. When's the last time you pet a cat? Last night, when I played with the only kind cat in my college. Were you missing your front teeth as a child? My front teeth were the first ones to fall out, so for a time I was missing them, yes. They grew back after a few months though, as did my other teeth. Do you remember Eureka's Castle on Nick JR? I always encounter the title but I don’t think I’ve actually seen it or if it aired here at all. What's the last song you hummed to cuz you didn't know the lyrics? The new songs Hayley Williams put out AS A SOLO ARTIST!!!!!!!!!!!! that I have yet to memorize – Sudden Desire, Creepin’, and Cinnamon. What would you say is Paris Hilton's occupation? She’s a businesswoman. And a successful one at that, lmao. If you could have a body like any celebrity's, who would it be? Idk I don’t find myself wanting anyone’s figure. If you could have any celebrity's baby, who would it be? Now this is just creepy. Do you know anyone whose name starts with Sh? Yeah, I have an orgmate named Shealea, a co-member in the graduating batch committee named Shaira, and a high school batchmate named Shela. I’m sure there are more but they’re the first ones I remembered. What's the worst Christmas present you've ever received? I don’t rate my gifts from best to worst. I’ve loved all my gifts. Are you wearing a necklace? Nopes. Do you have any noticeable moles or birthmarks? I have a birthmark behind my left shoulder that’s visible when I’m wearing a sleeveless top, and a mole on my right arm. Is there a salon you religously go to for beauty care? No. Quite the opposite situation actually - I haven’t been to a salon since 2018 :/ Count to ten in another language. I know two other languages (Filipino and Korean), so I’ll just give both of theirs haha. Isa, dalawa, tatlo, apat, lima, anim, pito, walo, siyam, sampu; and hana, dul, set, net, daseot, yeoseot, ilgop, yeodeol, ahop, yeol. Do you feel uncomfortable telling friends they have boogers in their nose? Yeah, but I don’t encounter this situation a lot. What do you remember from sex ed class when you were younger? We weren’t given sex ed, we were just taught the female and male reproductive systems in Grade 5 and that was it. I didn’t know how babies were made until I was in Grade 6, and before that I just thought all women who got married got pregnant automatically, as if the body knows.

What's the first instrument you ever played? That I don’t necessarily know how to play? My best guess is the piano. My mom took photos of me when I was a year old playing the grand piano at my aunt’s house, so that was probably the first. Are you a mommy's child or daddy's child? Daddy’s girl, for sure. What's the last thing you wore around your neck? A lanyard holding my car keys. My ID used to be attached to the lanyard but I’ve since lost it, so now it’s my keys that hang from it. Would you ever eat rhino meat? Like once, just to try it out and because I’m more of an adventurous eater. Who do you think deserves an award? Me, after finishing the shitstorm that was last week lol. Have you ever had a friend break up with a bf/gf for you? No. Do you own any books with a red cover? Yeah. Chris Jericho’s second autobiography Undisputed is predominantly red.

[sawyersick]

all the questions for that ask game!!! (or as many as you want lol)

holy fuck bee............................. ok get red E its a Lot

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

Idk what I would say but I probably wouldn’t be that freaked out... the last person I texted is a good friend/coworker and I trust him

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

I uhhh can’t remember who the last person I kissed was because it was years ago but let’s assume it was my ex..... he was a toxic pos who tore me down because he had low self esteem so yeah I don’t really like him

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

I would be upset if it was anything more than weed or the ocassional drink or if it was a full blown addiction and I would be mad if they didn’t tell me on principle...

 Also I would not be very comfortable if they did it around me because I’m a weenie despite hanging out in hardcore punk groups...... also I can’t stomach the smell of cigarettes im sorry

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

nope! 

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

sober, I don’t drink

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

like..... as a significant other? I guess. I’m pretty bad at telling my feelings to people and I’m kinda clingy when I like someone. idk if I’ve ever *explicitly* messed it up tho

7. What does your last received text say?

“sick” and then the sparkly heart emoji five times 

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

lots and lots and lots.... unfortunately. we were together for a year and a half

9. Where was your last kiss at?

fuck bitch I don’t remember.............. school? my house? his house? the pool??? man the last five months of that relationship were affection-less

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

I don’t have one!

11. What do you drink in the morning?

water and sometimes tea

12. Where did you sleep last night?

the car and then my bed when I got home

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

I mean everything takes effort... I don’t find it hard to do things for people in my relationships but I get frustrated when it isn’t reciprocated and I burn out

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

nah

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

yes....................... many..........................

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

I TRIED to be a good emo and like the rain but tbh I get really reasonally depressive so I prefer the sun 100%

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

nope!

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

jeans!

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

hopefully!! I met this real cute punk boy last night

20. Does anyone like you?

HA I doubt it......... I usually come off as the little sister type to most people

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

nope! 

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

probably

I suspected that he had internalized homophobia but also he was weirdly transphobic to me so I dropped it and pretended to be a cis girl around him which is weird because I think he liked boys??????????????????

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

YES this girl from high school who talked about tentacle porn to school admins for no reason and did lots of other weird shit 

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

yes! I have a whale on my hip and I want to get tiny scissors on my arm soon

25. In the past week have you cried?

yes I watched queer eye and a disney movie lol

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

I follow like 12 samoyeds on instagram but the last dog I saw irl was this ADORABLE black lab who was a service dog and he rested his head on his human’s lap when she sat down in the library and I wanted to cry

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

I have a towel hanging right out side the shower so I grab it, then step out of the shower

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

hm idk I think so? I definitely kissed a guy who played tennis but he forced it on me so I don’t count it

29. Do you think you’re old?

yes because I hate tiktok

30. Do you like text messaging?

I don’t mind it!! The service at my house sucks tho so I prefer cloud based texting like instagram or facebook messenger

31. What type of day are you having?

A good but slow one! I had a really good night last night so I’m just resting now

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

I’d honestly rather get snake bites if I were to get a piercing but in general I’m afraid of facial piercings

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

warm! then I can head down to the lake :)

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

yes! he’s one of my best friends and I talk to him every day and he lives in scotland and I’d like to meet him one day

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

relationship! Flings personally make me feel icky and I’m over that

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

I’d like to think I’m complicated but I’m a simple man..................... you show me whale, I like

37. What song are you listening to?

any song by Liily, all day every day

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

yes! I perpetually feel bad about everything!!!!!!39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

there was! but not anymore because she ghosted me for no reason40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

This person is so cute and kind and creative and nice and sweet and fashionable!!!! and fun to mosh with!!!!!41. When did you last receive a text message?

half an hour ago ish???42. What is wrong with you right now?

I am constantly depressed and there’s nothing I can do about it exceot keep myself insanely busy but that means there’s no breather for me and also I probably have adhd but can’t afford a therapist43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

FeMaLe dude just say chick

pretty well! I like her favourite band and we talk like once a week at the very least44. Does anyone disgust you?

yes my ex was very nasty and tore people down to his level and also this one person from high school who fucked over my friends 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

depends on who.... eye emoji............. but probably yes I have low standards46. Are you in a good mood right now?

yes!47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

my parents? but other than that it was thanking Nick from the band Unpopular Opinion for the lovely tabling opportunity last night48. What color shirt are you wearing?

white T shirt with a cat pink sweater with a cat49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

yes one of my parents says nasty things when in a bad mood50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

yes my former best friend who ghosted me and this girl who keeps flaking on plans with me and also a boy who got mixed up in weird drama with me and his ex that I never wanted to be a part of51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

I’ve never really falen hard for anyone, just periods of obsession. I guess I’m waiting for that one sPeCiAl sOmEoNe

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

yes, but I’ll settle for waiting53. Do you like rain?

a little of it!54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

I’d rather they not be a alcholoic because I had a raging drunk coworker who scared the shit out of me once but I guess I’d be okay with the ocasional drink/drunk night as long as they’re safe55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

So many times... I keep my mouth shut because it would never work for one reason or another...... also I’m so SICK of having to make the move all the time I just want to be fawned over I’ve never had anyone do ANYTHING romantic for me 56. Do you like to cuddle?

.......................yes57. Are you shy?

not normally! I LOVE being social but in relationships yeah because I’m insecure58. Do you get along with girls?

yes? girls who don’t get along with girls are lame...... lift each other up don’t tear yaselves down59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

nope! But I’ll admit I thought about it haha60. What do you carry with you at all times?

chapstick, money, and pepper spray

ya boy don’t mess around61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

depends on the haunted levels, as long as the “ghost” would only watch/appear and not scream or whatever or try to make contact I guess that would be fine? but if It tries to disturb me I’m yeeting mysef the fuck outta here because ya boy needs uninterrupted beauty rest62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

yep! I dragged one out for a year and a half when I really should have ended things much sooner than that63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

nope! Been single for around two years now64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

YES HOLY SHIT65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

I fired some pieces in my pottery class! my mugs and bowls came out so well

and I met the cutest punk boy last night!!!!!! he’s so cute and very my type and I got to dance with him in the mosh pit!!!!!!!!!! tell me that’s not the cutest punk thing ever

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

19, 18(17???), and 21

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?    

I’ve only gotten them done once! It was very enjoyable but I’m a cheapskate so I’d probably rather do them myself68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    

leopard print I guess69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    

one! A turtle from the Maui Ocean Center. I’d like to add a few more sea-related ones and maybe a totoro I bought at a con a few years back70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    

literally who the fuck even are these people71. Blackberry, Android, or iPhone?   

android 4 lyfe72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

never? my DnD group would get round table or little caesars73. Do you like diet soda?    

I guess? I like it the same as diet soda74. What color are the walls in your room?    

one purple wall and the other three are pastel mint75. Are you 16 or older?    

yeah baybee76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?  

nope  77. Do you have a job?   

yep! I’m a windsurfing instructor   78. What are your initials?    

ZSKMTS

but usually I go by SS79. Did you ever have braces?    

nope! I’ve got near-perfect teeth :D80. Are you from the south?    

nope!

81. What does your last status on facebook say?    

I talked about meeting my favourite band again!82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?

no because he forced himself on me when we were young and I think he remembers and is ashamed and also doesn’t live near me anymore    83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    

idk, I’m close but not in different ways with both of them84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?    

I was really good at the tumbling unit in 6th grade85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?   

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood? I don’t go to the movies much 86. Do you smoke?    

no the smell of cigarettes makes me want to vomit87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    

I love heels but I LIVE in flip flops bc california88. Is your phone touch screen?    

yes???? damn when was this ask game made89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?  

straight.......... I’m too lazy to curl it  90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?  

nope! I’m a weenie  91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    

the ocean!!!!!!!! But I guess a pool bc I’m afraid of the flesh eating bacteria in freshwater lakes92. Have you ever made out in a car?    

no but I HAVE made out on some random person’s lawn lmao93. …Had sex in a car?  

no I’m a virgin  94. Are you single or in a relationship?   

single pringle who loves to mingle 95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    

selling my art and listening to cool bands and dancing with cute punk people!!!96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? 

the day after the fourth of July   97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    

yes! I just got a new phone and the camera is way better than my old one

the low lighting setting is  c r i s p 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?  

I made out with this one friend of mine like twice and then I never did it again bc I felt icky  99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    

no I don’t drink100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?    

NAH BRO YOU GOTTA UNFRIEND THE FUCK OUTTA THEM NO RAGRETS 101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    

nope I’m a virgin102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    

Liily? did you mean Liily???? my favourite Liily song is Wash, Toro, or The Weather103. Do you have any tan lines right now?  

yeah one from the ring I wear every day  and like a shorts tan from summer104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?

hell yeah but ONLY if the cowboy boots are bright red or hot pink no exceptions

[disneydreamlights]

Pick five random questions (and also do the post apoc question as a sixth ;3) for Ticole, NiNick, Skyuuya, Matt/Luca, and whatever tf your otp for dark materials is?? i haven't been keeping up with your trash so idk what to ask for that one but also indulge yourself in your current trash plz

Yu I’ve been sitting here just like “I’m so sorry you asked” about that HDM pairing for the past ten minutes.

Partially because of the self indulgence and mostly just because they’re a train wreck.

I’m just gonna go in order for once because like...does anybody following me even care about this series? Or is this going to be me being self indulgent like I normally am with my oc ships. XD

Ticole:

2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

Absolutely Tip. He lacks self confidence to such a strong degree. One the flip side, Nicole is great at being there to comfort him, either by reminding him that everything’s okay and that  he’s loved or by providing whatever it is he needs and wrapping him in a blanket burrito. 

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other?

I refuse to take criticism that for Tip this isn’t the time that they were in Dragonspyre after reuniting and Tip started meowing at Nicole because he was very tired and she was just like “That’s cool you’re alive” because she was so relieved to have an alive Tip. 

For Nicole, it probably would have something to do with her falling asleep in the middle of doing something. I have a lot of thoughts on the idea of her spending a lot of super late nights reading once he falls asleep and she just ends up falling asleep in the middle of it because she’s not paying attention to the time. It’s hard in general for Nicole to get embarrassed in front of Tip because he’s just so naive about everything.

15. When they watch a film what do they choose and why? Who gets the final vote?

Mostly animated things. I see them watching a lot more wholesome movies and given Nicole’s origins, she’s very obviously a Disney fan. She also gets the final vote since what they’re watching isn’t important to Tip.

16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

Mmm this is an interesting question. On one hand, they’re badass and together nearly unstoppable even in the pre-revival stuff (which is what I’m going to focus on in general because that’s a more fun Ticole anyways) so the chance of anything taking one of them down once they make it to shelter? Unlikely. They probably serve as pillars of emotional stability and comfort for each other as they keep themselves safe from zombies.

But this comes with a stipulation. They’re untouchable so long as everything they love is safe.

It’d be unlikely for anything to happen to Ian or Charles but if it did, it’s pretty likely that Tip at least would fall apart.  So this could end up bad.

21. Where do they get nervous about going with one another?

Not counting worlds where they almost died??? I don’t think they would. Like literally the only place I could think of would be the bedroom because sex between the two of them? Super daunting there’s a reason I skipped the sex question every time RNG pulled it up.

27. Why do their friends get annoyed with them?

Oh dear god 95% of the annoyance with them I guarantee is directed at Nicole. Nicole is overprotective as shit over Tip and it gets to be ridiculous. The first couple of times she’s angry over somebody hurting Tip it’s scary but afterwards. “Nicole. Nicole plz. I know you’re upset but Nicole listen please shut up Tip’s fine. Nicole.”

I’m honestly surprised Ian hasn’t done anything yet tbh about this.

NiNick:

1. Who makes the first move and how?

I’m like...95% certain the person to take the leap was Nina? I don’t remember it’s been ages since I read the scene.

7. What do they get up to on a night out?

They take nights out? *shot*

No in all seriousness, these two when they do go out for the night probably have super romantic times. Nick’s supposed to be a romantic, so I could see him setting up candlelit dinners, figuring out the best showtime to watch the movie Nina’s really wanted to see, really doing the most to make their night out all the more special.

8. What do they like in bed?

Oh my god.

Nina’s not vanilla so her kinks go as far as Nick’s will that is all I will say on the subject.

16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

They try to keep moving on. I feel like they both alternate who’s functional on different days. Some days it’s both, and when it is they’re valuable resources to wherever they are. When one isn’t, I’d imagine the other just holds them while they try to cope with the fear and loss. There probably is some sex involved in all of this, because they can use it to help them forget that the world is ending and who knows when their next time could be their last.

Thankfully at least, they’re also social creatures. I’d imagine the two of them would stay in groups for as long as possible.

20. Where do they go on holiday?

Nina? Absolutely big amusement park nerd. I don’t think it matters where Nick wants to go she absolutely plans all her vacations around the fact that they might be able to stop by some kind of amusement park.

26. Why do they need to have a serious chat?

Somebody please stage an intervention for their sex habits. Please.

Skyuuya

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

Emphasis first of all in that these touches are always not sexual, but I can see Yuuya just always reaching for her as like small little gestures. Grabbing her hand if he notices she’s starting to panic. Giving her a hug when she seems just a little down. Just all sorts of reassuring small touches that absolutely mean a lot.

7. What do they get up to on a night out?

When they find the time to have a night out uninterrupted, I’d imagine it’s whatever dates Yuuya manages to come up with near where they’re based. This could be anything from beach trips to theme parks to nice dinners. It’s not really a specific thing they plan on a night out so much as just enjoying each other’s company for them.

But that being said I also see them sometimes just enjoying the peaceful nights by relaxing together for once and trading stories and talking. Like of course Yuuya wants to go all out on these dates but it’s despair world. He literally can’t because you always gotta be on guard so they make the most of it however possible.

14. When one has a cold, what does the other do?

Yuuya would be the most doting fuck if Sky got sick. She keeps telling him to stop. He’s gonna get sick. He really needs to stop. Except he absolutely doesn’t and brings her tissues and soup and wraps her in ten thousand blankets and “YUUYA IT’S A COLD I’M NOT DYING I DON’T NEED THIS MANY BLANKETS” except he’s not doing it because he thinks she’s going to die, he’s doing it because she’s Sky and absolutely deserves the best care she could ever get.

Then once he gets sick afterwards she throws a box of tissues at his head. granted she’s also making sure Yuuya has everything he needs for a full recovery from the cold but that’s less relevant.

16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

They start preparing to kill zombies. They’re the couple who just shows up on a motor cycle with their back towards each other and start shooting. They’re the zombie apocalypse dream team. They’re certified badasses. They’ll be fine.

22. Where does their first kiss happen?

First kiss after the prison (and not the peck Sky did to fluster Yuuya after getting together) is probably a little bit after the game??? Like they’re both together and spending time anchoring each other but like so much stuff went down and it’s just a lot to unload? And it’s not so much the where that matters but the when. Because I really would like to imagine like they’ve spent so much time worried and searching for their little siblings who mean the absolute world to them they have kinda put their relationship on the backburner in terms of being overly affectionate. And then they just finally find Sera and Sakuya and Hiyoko and they’re sitting there talking later that night and overwhelmed by emotions over the whole thing and idk who starts it but it’s like a “I’m really so glad we finally succeeded we found them” kiss.

Pre-PoD though? That’s a lot less happy. So I know we discussed that like...some really bad shit goes down and they start off not really getting along and gradually growing to care about each other because of an event that really forces them to understand the other? Well all I can imagine is whatever the terrible thing that happens is that really makes them get along? It happens. And of course even though they’re supposed to not like each other, but the other one of them is still listening to the other and supporting them because that hatred has been gone for a really long time and just like the one who’s hurt realizing that the other one has been there the whole time and they just realize “fuck I really like them” and somewhere in all this the kiss happens. So I guess in their room in the future foundation would be the answer to this.

26. Why do they need to have a serious chat?

Why don’t they? *shot*

Well, for one, there’s definitely some things they need to work out. Yuuya is still a spy. Sky still has her duties as a Keyblade Wielder. Both have ties to literally different worlds and different duties and they need to figure out how to make that work, and how to work on being in a relationship despite the possibility of not seeing each other for months.

There’s also one very specific scenario we discussed, the one that cemented Leone’s hate for his dad because he thought that Yuuya ditched them or died? They definitely have serious talks over that. I mean, Yuuya’s probably around his thirties by that point. He’s not young anymore and death is a very real threat for him, just like it is for Sky. They both probably have to address that. Which speaking of Leone, they also probably have a lot to talk about given he’s their son and has awful darkness issues.

Luca/Matt

3. Who is the most romantic?

I could write an essay on this but we both know it’s gonna be Luca.

15. When they watch a film what do they choose and why? Who gets the final vote?

The movies vary, but given Luca’s taste? It’s either absolutely shit or a horror movie, there’s no real way around it. And Luca tries to give Matt the final vote because he knows he struggles with keeping attention so he wants to give Matt like...the best chance of being able to keep himself focused and comfortable during the movie, but he ends up with the final vote anyways.

16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

So long as Matt and Lila are fine? Luca’s doing awesome the entire time. He serves primarily as the moral support, and encourages his best friend and boyfriend to survive. 

Now why did I mention Lila? Because if something happened to either of them, that’s it. Luca’s shutting down completely. This boy is so reliant on them that he literally would be just done for in a zombie apocalypse. 

18. When they fight, how do they make up?

Whichever one is at fault will like apologize. If Luca’s at fault, he’ll do it after he’s calmed down but if Matt’s the one at fault he’s probably immediately apologizing. Then once they’re both chill I see them talking about it and the make up is probably in the unsaid “we’re working on our issues together.”

That being said this is Luca so true confrontations are probably pretty rare.

22. Where does their first kiss happen?

Luca’s apartment, after Luca nearly fucks up Matt still kisses him anyways. Luca questions if his boyfriend has taste or sanity immediately afterwards.

30. Why does it work (or not work) between them?

This is a twofold question.

It does not work between them the first time because Matt is a cultist who literally betrays Luca’s trust because he’s in fact working against him. This in turn is the last crack on Luca’s faliling mental health and he shatters and they very obviously have a lot to work on.

But once they get back together, because they do have the ability to work through it all? They work because they know better. Luca is all in and he loves Matt, and he brings out the best in Matt I’d like to think. They put forth the effort to be better and make it work because they both love each other, and so it works.

HDM Ship (Ma/sriel)

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

Asriel. I could elaborate but the scene at the end of S1 really does speak for itself on this one. Of course Marisa doesn’t do the greatest job of this either or else the series wouldn’t exist.

5. Who says ‘I love you’ first?

I really had to think on this one but Marisa. She’s the younger of the two and despite her excellent facade in the series I do think her emotions would be a bit more free than Asriel’s, who’s shown to be emotionally in control for like the entire series. In spite of this it’s still an incredibly rare thing. We’re talking every once in a while, not frequent.

14. When one has a cold, what does the other do?

First of all they tease the other mercilessly. Neither Asriel nor Marisa are particularly doting (not until near the end of their life anyways) so they’re not the type to drop everything to take care of the other, especially since their relationship is secret in the first place. That being said they do make sure to check to make sure the other is alright when sick. Marisa probably brings some medicine and Asriel who funny enough I see as slightly more doting in this instance does his best to bring her things after she’s recovered (since she ya know, has to deal with the whole actually having a husband thing this is an affair why is this the ship hell I sunk into.)

16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

God they’re probably studying the zombies to figure out how they came about because they’re like scientists. I hate this. XD

18. When they fight, how do they make up?

They don’t. I ship this but it’s highly dysfunctional. Marisa and Asriel are both stubborn and pigheaded and a part of me would honestly believe for them that fighting is a part of foreplay. Occasionally one might apologize for a fight but it’s not like either of them will really budge on either of their positions (well okay that’s a lie. At the end of TAS Marisa has decided god has to go too but that took three books to get there, and it’s still not so much because she hates religion so much as if he doesn’t die her daughter will and she would do anything for Lyra.)

But on the flipside, they also forgive each other? Like it’s like...they’ll fight, neither will apologize, but both sides will accept it. Because even when their relationship is absolutely at their worst and they hate each other for twelve years, they still care. Asriel is one of the only two things to get an emotional reaction out of Marisa. Marisa is one of the only two things to get an emotional reaction out of Asriel.

It’s really hard to explain, it’s less like they’d ever make up and more like they would just move on from the argument. They only have so much time to waste on it.

21. Where do they get nervous about going with one another?

Um literally everywhere. These two are literally having an affair behind Marisa’s husbands back they aren’t going to go broadcasting it. That being said it’s mostly travels around London that get bad. The farther away they get from Marisa’s home the more likely they are to throw caution to the wind. And of course when they’re doing research they also tend to be a lot less nervous because there’s nothing wrong about it that could cause them trouble (on the surface).

[solienna]

romanticized asks!! 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 10 - 13 - 16 - 17 - 19 - 21 - 23 - 27 - 28 - 30 - 32 - 34 - 35 - 36 - 37 - 38 - 39 - 41

3. if you were any historic trope, what would you be? (i.e., the knight, the town baker, the witch of the forest, etc.) unsure if this classifies as a trope but i’ve always had a fondness for “reluctant royal in line for the throne gets whisked away on an adventure in the nick of time” i’ve planned two stories (one original and one fanfic) with the main character as this trope and really i think it’s cuz i too wish i could be whisked away from all the responsibilities and expectations in my life that i never asked for and just go off on a magical adventure

4. tell us about your ideal battle outfit. i’m not in much of a describing mood rn so instead i will show you a picture. also goes without saying in a fantasy setting i would definitely be a rogue. my heart says warrior but my stature says rogue. i want to wear something black and long and flowy and also the hood is necessary bc 1) my fondness for hoodies was born from the fact that i wore them 24/7 when i was younger and 2) the drama…. the intrigue of throwing back your hood to reveal your face, eyes blazing with emotion you dare not conceal…… yes please

5. what would you be a god/goddess of and what would people sacrifice to you? i would be the goddess of two things, of longing and of luck. but not the full spectrum of either. i would be the goddess of longing born of self-denial. longing for a life you could easily have, for things that are well within your grasp, but you will not allow yourself to have, either for your own sake or for the sake of others. longing only entertained in the dead of night. and as for luck i would be the goddess of the luck of thieves with a soft spot for orphaned or abandoned children forced into theft to survive. mostly bc i wrote a story when i was younger about the champion of the god of luck and all the things he did to eventually lose her favor, and he had been an orphaned child. i wouldn’t want anyone to sacrifice anything to me (and in fact those in the throes of painful longing would probably only curse my name) but thieves would leave some of their stolen treasures at my shrines before heists in the hope i will look upon them favorably

6. name five iconic quotes that make you feel things. “your handwriting. the way you walk. which china pattern you choose. it’s all giving you away. everything you do shows your hand. everything is a self portrait. everything is a diary.” - chuck palahniuk  |||  “You are never so low that you deserve to be lower. (when you look down at people, don’t you want to help them up?)” - a softer world 792  |||  “Having perfected our disguise, we spend our lives searching for someone we don’t fool.” - Robert Brault  |||  “Perhaps it is true that we do not really exist until there is someone there to see us existing, we cannot properly speak until there is someone who can understand what we are saying in essence, we are not wholly alive until we are loved.” - Alain de Botton  |||  “I have shed my skin so many times. The graveyards must be full of all the people I used to be.” - David Jones

7. scythe, battle axe, broad sword, spear or trident? hmm…. broadsword

8. what combination of natural scents would you use as perfume? the smell of rain in the desert, the smell of lavender, the smell of lemons

10. describe yourself as if you were a storm. if i were a storm i wouldn’t be one at all. i would just be a light drizzle of rain, one that comes and goes for the whole day and keeps the sky looking like smudged grey watercolor until night turns it black. sometimes it’s too hard to be an angry clap of thunder when you know others will hear it and worry

13. cabin in the woods, apartment in the city or mansion in the suburbs? CABIN IN THE WOODS BABY, i am never happier than when surrounded by trees on all sides

16. describe your ideal fantasy outfit. in all honestly just refer to the picture above lmfao if i had that outfit i would never take it off i would just put the hood down. my 1 requirement for a fantasy outfit is that it has to have a cloak of some sort. cloaks are so cool

17. of all the fantasy races to ever exist, which one would you be? hm. if i am being honest i have never felt any real deep connection with any kind of fantasy race in a “i would be this fantasy race” kind of way. the only thing that comes close is orcs BUT ONLY IF they are written in a way that actually affords them some dimension instead of just using them as stock evil characters that only live to destroy or whatever. orcs deserve so much better i love them

19. show us a picture of your ideal crown.

21. an evening in the forest with elves, a night in the caves with vampires or a morning in the garden with fae? an evening in the forest with elves definitely, i don’t trust the fae and i had a traumatizing experience with vampires on legendary skyrim and i don’t trust them anymore. also caves are freaky

23. talking with sylphs or singing with nymphs? hm…. singing with nymphs

27. would you rather have poison or healing ointment in your traveling pack?

nah jk i’m a healer main at heart i would much rather have healing ointment in my traveling pack, if it came down to it i’m not sure i’d have it in me to poison someone and i’d rather have more room in my traveling pack for first aid

28. tell us three sayings that you live by. fake it ‘til you make it. not everything has to be a competition. keep your cards close to your chest, let them look at you and wonder. honorable mention goes to “jealousy is a disease bitch, get well soon” i used to live by this one as well but then i got way better at culling my own jealousy and now it’s a problem i almost never have to deal with so //pats self on back

30. describe your ideal masquerade ball outfit (mask included). I’D MASQUERADE AS AN ANGEL, WINGS AND ALL BITCH. i want feathers i want inconvenience i want intrigue. worth mentioning but it wouldn’t be a dress, i love men’s fashion from that era and i would DEFINITELY be wearing it. the mask would be silver. i have no more details than that idk how fashion works and i never will 

32. what would you end up in the dungeon for? oh theft easily. if my moral compass was weaker i’d have stolen so many things by now. i always give my sims the klepto trait so i can live vicariously through them 

34. if you could have any magical item, what would it be? hm….. i would want some sort of item that would allow me to summon a ghost-like familiar. like bc in fantasy settings i never see myself as a magic user, always as a rogue or warrior. so i don’t naturally have the ability to conjure a familiar, but i would like an item that gives me that ability. it sounds sick as hell. fantasy pokeball essentially. either that or i want an item that lets me read other people’s minds. i’m a three do you know what i could do with that kind of power

35. what song would the bards sing about you when you passed by? something like “sera was never” from the dragon age inquisition soundtrack

36. would you rather be a pirate or a king/queen? MEANDER YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION i would SO be a pirate…… if anything i’d be the royal who gives up the throne in favor of becoming a pirate. nothing like the ocean and sea shanties with the crew

37. would you spend more time in the field of flowers, the tavern, the docks or the marketplace? hm… the docks, watching the ships pull in with their cargo and smelling the saltwater breeze. hearing the hustle and bustle of all the people with places to be and knowing i’m safe in the fact that they’re all too busy to question why i’m there

38. would you have a painting of yourself? LMFAO probably, if only to know how i am perceived by the artist. if u could not gather by now i am obsessed with how others perceive me

39. what skill are you famous for? hmmMMMMM it’s hard to pick just one. perhaps either singing or archery

41. stained glass windows or fairy lights? stained glass windows, i’m a dirty ex-catholic and i love the way they look

[ralfstrashcan]

3x13 Reaction / Commentary

Yeah I'm aware, stop judging X___X

I feel the need to point this out. Apparently it's common practice for the Praetor to just, kill off their more troublesome charges. Interesting. But Jordan has a different work ethic which is a) apparently not usual for praetors and b) something at least Nick attributes to his past and not, idk, common decency. Just how savage is the Praetor exactly?? (Also let me add this to the list of things why 3x15 makes no sense at all.)

Okay, so they found another mundane dead by Heidi's hand...... why exactly don't they call the Shadowhunters? Aren't they obliged to? I mean?

True, but it sure as hell is her responsibility how she handles them. But we established already that she has a serious perception problem and always sees herself as the victim.

I mean, prime example, if she could have made that smooth exit through the vent where the werewolves couldn't follow, why didn't she just do that from the start instead of attacking Nick? Because she wants to cause trouble and not just “live her life in peace” as she's pretending to.

More like, he didn't have the guts to face Alec like that. Also does that mean he draped Izzy on the couch like that in that cliché sleeping pose with one hand under the head? At least he took off her boots like a sane person.

“I'm just drained.”

Haha it seems Alec isn't the only Lightwood sibling with a shitty sense of humor.

“I don't have the same preexisting condition.” “You mean my addiction?”

No, Izzy, he obviously means your fashion sense, keep up. Seriously, who wrote that stupid ass line of dialogue.

I found it pretty hilarious that Simon, Clary's literally oldest and bestest friend since kindergarten, feels the need to apologize to Izzy for taking up so much time with his Clary-reunion and blocking the path for her. The Clizzy Energy is Strong.

“Hmmmm hot hot hot Clary, please show me more.”

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY HAHAHAHA PERFECT

Also, Morningstar.... didn't Val name his dumbass tanker ship in S1/S2 Morningstar? Guy really has it with name repetitions, first Jonathan 1 and 2, now Morningstar Ship and Morningstar Sword... I bet he named all his stuffed teddys Mr Snuffels 1, Mr Snuffels 2, Mr Snuffels 3.....

The way he delivers this line me might've as well said “Please cut out the emotional disgusting bullshit my skin is crawling already from this I can't take any more mushiness PLEASE GO AWAY.” Gotta love Alec.

MAGNUS RAGE PUNCHING THE KEYBOARD IS THE MOST RELATABLE THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

Magnus opening up about missing his magic MY HEART OH MY GOD

(Sidenote though: No wonder he got frustrated with the pretentious Shadowhunter Technology, I mean, look at it. There are only runes. Runes may be called runes, but they don't actually make up an alphabet. Why the heck is there a flexibility rune on the screen? It makes no sense.)

This whole scene (and Izzy's lipstick lol) is absolutely perfect. I love everything about it, especially Magnus and especially Izzy. I'd be really surprised if Magnus didn't find a way to get her that weird root thingy anyway, because he surely doesn't buy the “feeling a lot better now” line.

(Edit: Now thinking about it I realized two things, a) she probably didn't take him up on his offer to go to another warlock because she felt like that was unnecessarily rubbing in that he can't do it himself anymore* and b) with that line she probably meant she feels lighter already for sharing what happened and just <3<3<3<3<3)

*The only think that would have made this scene more perfect is if Izzy hadn't skimmed over his magic comment without acknowledging it in any way. Though with this thought in mind, that she rejected his offer to spare his feelings, I find myself placated.

Also I love how Magnus pretends he's going to look for pen and paper when really he's running straight to Alec to tell him all about this (and to prevent a repetition of 2x09 form happening.... and now I made myself sad again).

#effortless (Also reminds me of that post about fire message mechanics that I still owe a certain someone. Where is the time.)

HAHAHAHA

???????????? How do they know that? More importantly, does Alec know? Will he hear through the Shadow World grapevine??? So many questions.

I mean, I have sympathy for her. But like, she's too smart for me to buy that she genuinely can't see any other course of action. She just does this because it's the least effort for her, not because she's truly clueless what alternatives are there for here (aka not running around, killing mundanes, starting a fight with everyone). She just thrives on chaos.

Also “Wolves don't just attack without cause. Not in New York” ? Seems like all Institute except the NY one do a shit job since supposedly keeping peace between the Downworld factions is part of their responsibility. Yes, I am still salty about 3x15. (Also, if anyone's confused by this weird foreshadowing, I wrote notes for this reaction post while watching 3x13 when it first aired, but only got to finish it now after 3x19 aired and I can't keep my chronology-screwing bitterness to myself while finishing up the post. But mostly these are my thoughts from then.)

Yeah something tells me she's not gonna be totally uninvolved in that.

This and the fact that Russel wants to stop Bat from even leaving the Jade Wolf are the final proofs that all the werewolves actually live at the Jade Wolf and pile up in a giant snuggle pile in the kitchen at night. This is further cemented by the fact that Luke and Maia claim to have flats of their own but we never actually see them. Clearly they're both dirty liars that just wanted to mislead.

*late Jocelyn's late friend Eliot #rude #whatever

.......why the hell would Elias code that shit in Circle short hand? So other Circle members, who Jocelyn was hiding from, could easily open that super important safe? So smart! Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Luke in the Circle as well? Shouldn't he be able to read that, too?

1) Eliot is such a loser and a showoff for ostentatiously writing that J in Jocelyn 2) His hint is seriously “Don't open with brute force.” Wtf kind of hint is that man are you even real.

I'm sorry, okay, but everytime I see / hear Bellicosi I think Maxi-Cosi XD

*glares at 3x15* Will I ever tire of raging about that episode? Unlikely.

Why.....? Since he didn't have any problem 100% blaming Raphael for everything Heidi did (not unjustified, but I'm just saying he's suddenly changed his mind). I mean, if he'd said she's dangerous to him and his family that would've been another matter.

These are all runes that I don't remember seeing on the Shadowhunters' Wiki Rune Page. Please tell me more.

Jace: “Clary, you've been going nonstop since you came back. You need to take a minute.”

lol if only Jace would implement the same advice himself.

“Wow I suddeny remember I had a life before I was 10.”

German Dubbing: Yeah, the ones Consul Penhallow categorically ignored. Honestly. Who dubbs this shit. Wtf.

Listen I love everything about this scene. (Fun Fact: In the German Dubbing she says vampire addiction, not venom addiction lol as if she was addicted to vampires XD)

Alec Lightwood, best brother of the year. Btw he's been holding that title since birth. I also don't think Alec would ever judge Izzy for her addiction / look at her as if she's weak, so the fact that she thinks that says a lot about how the addiction affected her self-image.

Too bad Alec forgets this for the next few episodes and acts like a total tool in that Clave Investigation Thing, smh.

Good to know.

Haha that was witty.

Oooooh why don't they ask another warlock then? For example one who's actually always the smartest person in the room?? Who's also willing to work on this??? Just a thought tho, don't let me interrupt the Maruke Bonding. No, you know what? I hate the shipname Maruke, it's shit, so I'm calling it Luryse as it should have been called. Then again, when am I even gonna talk about that pairing? We shall see.

“Outrageous, just because people around me keep turning up dead! It's ridiculous, really, that they'd think I could have something to do with that. It's as if they're not aware this is a TV show and supporting characters die because *Moriarty Voice* THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE DO!”

“That what the kids call it these days when they get kicked out on their ass?” She literally says “From one exiled to another” so she clearly realized he's full of shit.

“And that's why in two episodes Imma get myself arrested by behaving like a dumbass and then chill in prison as if it's my greatest accomplishment.” Honestly Luke, so many No-s. I can't even.

“Wow I can't believe I have to see this Luryse bs up close.” Hah, now I used the right shipname and can move the f on from bashing that pairing. Sorry about that. I'm sleep deprived. That always makes me extra salty.

“When you're alpha you need to make the pack your first priority. Your personal life needs to take a back seat. And mine never did.” I applaud Luke for admitting he was a shit alpha because he didn't proritize the pack. Hindsight is 20/20.

Wow Luke so helpful <3<3<3 Just like I know and love you.

I also love how nobody questions that Heidi bit that mundane and then chilledly made a phone call at the scene of her Accords-violating crime. How frakking convenient.

But their runes aren't on the same side. Sloppy work. Also, if the illustrator obviouly takes artistic liberties, then the rune missing on the second pic doesn't have to mean anything. Maybe they just forgot to draw it. Then again this isn't even the most flimsy conclusion-making I've wittnessed on this show so I'll let it slide.

lol Jace and Jonathan are basically playing tug of war with Clary: Jonathan burning himself, Jace activating her healing rune XD

Ooooh brainless S1 Clary, how I have not missed you. Srsly now? Carve it out? That didn't work for Simon so why should it now? lol she should ask the seelie queen if she has some handy floor mosaic thingy in her courtyard to help with that.

In his defense, he moved.

It's not gonna work is what it is. Srsly how dumb are they? Why the hell does she think something so powerful can just be carved out?? Wtf.

Woooow they're using a rune removing device, color me impressed. I really thought they'd just put a scalpel to it. So, at least points for trying.

Uuuuh get some morphin, try again. I mean. But anyway.

*break up

......didn't she just break up with him because pack reasons? Where is that not a Shadow World Reason? Please explain. (Also choosing an unflattering screen cap of Simon because he annoys me? Absolutely. I am petty like that.) The easy way Simon accepts their break up really makes me wonder. If Maia hadn't said anything, would he have broken up with her? Since apparently things “changed” and they could “both” “feel” it. Honestly. He literally calls her his girlfriend at the start of the scene as if to draw attention to how ridiculous this is.

You know what, I don't even have the energy to rage about this. Their relationship was so great, they were so supportive of each other, they had great chemistry, great communication, they always stood by each other. And just because Sizzy has to be endgame there were suddenly weird-ass tension between them for no real reason – none that 3A Saia wouldn't have worked through like pros anyway – just so this break up wouldn't come out of absolutely nowhere. It's shit treatment of both their characters and their relationship and I'm just so exasperated with it all. (Also not the way to endear me to Sizzy. But at this point I feel like a broken record.)

Discount? It was free. Which I'm still finding super hard to believe by the way, that a werewolf establishment would just give out free food to vampires who don't even work there. But what do I know, right, I mean it's not like they just mentioned a few minutes ago how werewolves and vampires hate each other? Right?? Hahaha.

Wow. This actually takes the time to highlight that this break up wasn't as amicable as Simon thought. Maybe he thought that they were breaking up for human reasons, but Maia clearly feels she threw her relationship away for the pack and it's hard for her. And Simon's tirade wasn't really encouraging her to let him know that. I really appreciate that detail.

Other things I want to say: 1) I didn't like that Maia just flat out broke up with him. She should have informed him that she was going to step up for the pack and would have to prioritize that over their relationship and then leave it up to him if he wants to put up with that or not. By breaking up she made the choice for him. Her course of action is ic, I'm not critizising that, but from like, a personal stand point I don't like it. 2) Foreshadowing: Since her whole pack gets slaughtered, if that would have been the only reason to break up with Simon she coulda just gotten back together with him lol. Haha sorry I'm trash. I know.

Wow he's really dumb. He knows Heidi's brand of crazy and still he doesn't realize this was a trap. He said himself that Heidi must have done something for the Preator to be after her, and when the Praetor tells him she's been leaving copses left and right he...... takes this as his cue to ally himself with Heidi??? Wtf?????? Does he not believe what Jordan said? Again, he suspected something like that himself and since the Praetor are playing at being the Downworlder Police they wouldn't just make something like that up with no proof. The heck. I don't get you, Boss Vampire Guy.

Also, thumbs down for the Praetor, if they'd just told them their source was Heidi herself (on the phone) this could have been prevented. But, ugh. With how things are I can at least kinda buy that no working communication between vampire clan and Praetor exists.

Still, if the Praetor wants to be accepted as some kind of Shadow World Institution they should really work on their manners.

.................................................

I I don-- I can't. *sigh* I can't believe I just had to watch this with my own two eyes. Have they not been trained for a case like this? A fellow shadowhunter injured in the field? That activating the healing rune should be the first thing you do? Before lovingly prying information from the dying person?? I mean, if that's not Plot Convenience then I don't know what is. Sure, he needs to give them a snippet of info, but not too much. But please, please, couldn't writers have found a way for this that didn't make them look like the stupidest of idiots in the entire frikkin world?! Wtf. WTF. I can't believe it.

Uuuuuuh how did she know how to turn those things if all she had to work with was Don't use brute force?? Do I have to understand that?

“You brought coffee, after all.”

Look she's so ashamed she even turned away from the screen haha. Also it's so refreshing to see grown ass people approach a relationship like idiotic teens. (Yeah, that was sarcastic.)

“And right now I wanna do you.” Hahahaha sorry, too good to pass up, you can bet your ass imma turn this into a dumb comic XD

“I love you, Clary. And I'll love you until I die. And if there's a life after this I'll love you then, too.”

Okay, I wanted to roll my eyes at their love confession, but what Jace said was actually really sweet <3

Alec: All our people were accounted for at the time of the murder. Izzy: We think it was a Clave hit.

Oh couldn't have been one of the millions of Shadowhunters from another Institute? No, I'm sure Alec checked that on their neat little Shadowhunter Intranet, that all other Shadowhunters all over the workd were accounted for as well. Honestly.

Also, Maryse says “By the angel,” but in the German Dubbing she says “What the angel” which makes it seem as if Shadowhunters curse by replacing dirty words with “angel” and just... what the angel XD

Why the hell are they all so obsessed with Latin? Ugh. Exhausting hobby.

Btw lol, please rewatch that scene, the background music is weirdly reminiscent of the Stranger Things Theme hahahaha. (Also omg I'm peeking into the German dubbing and it doesn't even make SENSE hahaha what the shit.)

LOL that's like the soulmate trope but in painful XD basically the creepy incest edition XD But honestly can we appreciate what a nice hand Jonathan has with a knife and with his left hand?? Prodigy.

This is it, the final proof that they actually all live at the Jade Wolf hahahha.

...................................? Why the f is she happy to see Jordan? Last time they saw each other she clearly stated she hated him?? Do I need to understand?? Oh right. In the books Maia and Jordan get back together. Right. Stupid, why am I even surprised by this??

Wtf isn't he the clan leader? Why the hell is he acting so submissively to Heidi all of a sudden? Literally half a day ago he threw her out of his clan, knowing his place. And now he's like a puppet on her strings. Wtf. But I guess that happens when you treat characters as plot devices. They get inconsistent even if they only have two scenes. *sigh*

Awwww would you look at that, werewolves and vampires fighting with fists like mundanes. (Okay some of them had like, daggers, but where are the fangs and the claws? Honestly.)

Okay I did her injustice in my trailer reaction since this is a vamp and a legitimate fight situation.

Wow that actually surprised me. But Jordan also dies in the books so, oops. Just didn't think they'd skip the getting together.

WOW that really surprised me. I thought Maia would challenge him and they'd have an epic fight to the death or something. (Also wtf Griffin guy, what's with that creeper face.)

To be honest I find it hard to believe that Maia acts like this. Scared out of her mind, yeah sure. But she acts helpless, and she's never been that. When she got that pipe thing I thought she'd use it as a stake. Using it to block the door is smart, too, but why didn't she get another to have a stake? Her whole posture, uselessly hangig over Jordan screams damsel in distress and I don't like it at all.

Edit: I had certain fears how this plotline would be developed in 3x14 which thankfully didn't come true, but my conflicted opinion on this ending scene remains.

Anyway let’s take a moment and appreciate Maia’s Killer Boots.

BTW watched the 3x14 trailer and just.... what. Why the f would Magnus ask Lorenzo of all people for help? He can't be trusted. As if he wouldn't use that opportunity to break Magnus even further! WTF! Where's Catarina? Oh, let me guess, another Drunk Doctor Conference *epic eyeroll*

[nyruratchet]

Notes 4 - The Morning After

“People. People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.”

There are pills for straight couples to avoid pregnancy after a few moments of bliss, there are pills to help people stay safe from contracting HIV, there are pills to recorrect the chemical imbalance for people struggling with mental issues; there are pills for EVERYTHING, but no one has derived a magical pill to fix the pain one feels when forced to wake up the morning after valentine’s day alone.

Actually, this problem doesn’t just exist on Valentine’s day. But, seeing as how I’m perpetually single, I can attest to the fact that this day is the most painful (all other holidays come second). Just yesterday, someone asked a question, “yall fall in love with niggas y’all meet on apps??”

My response: Honestly, what are the other options? This is a legitimate question...

Him: Go meet someone in real life...apps aren’t real life! You don’t know that nigga til u see him. In real life, u see everything you as over and over on the app.

Me: You do (meet them), but those are the same guys on the apps. And no one gives you the time of day at bars, events, etc. So, ur stuck with friends of friends, coworkers (nope) and apps...really (WTF?)

Him: Idk who y’all meeting but niggs stay tryin to see wassup on the low when I’m out...especially the damn gym!

Now, I then had to check him and remind him that, just because YOU are so attractive and have thousands of followers that men just flock to you, THAT IS NOT the average gay man’s reality. Just recently a black man on Grindr says he doesn’t like black men. Only whites and latinos. Yep, this is the world I live in. So when you all think I’m crazy to think I’m not in someone’s league, please know there are factors in the chess game that I’m aware of that you have NO CLUE about. Being the darker brother in the gay community is not easy and constantly I am made to feel like I’m not worthy of inclusion in it. Being dark is not acceptable. Nor is being skinny. Nor is not having a BBC (which is all anyone seems to value from us). Nor is being open to love; I’ve been faulted way too many times for that tbh. Almost as many times as I’ve been skinny-shamed or considered fem. Guys in our community are looking more for TS girls than black men. Period. I see “girls” on Grindr far too much. THERE, I said what I said. Grindr’s way of dealing with this influx...ask me to list myself as a CIS man. NO THE FUCK I WILL NOT! I’m a man. These labels are too much. can’t meet men in bars or apps or work. So, let me know...HOW?

To lose my virginity I had to get on craigslist and whore myself out like a rentboy (no money involved) only to get this catfish older man to respond. I was 21 years old and saw this as my only chance before moving to NY. Guys throughout my life up until this point (as i wrote about in my last post) had been ignoring me. I was invisible in the world of gay sex. I might as well have been a eunuch or a monk. I was always the “friend”...still am. So, I took this less then adequate gentleman and let him penetrate me for the first time; give me my first kiss (yuck, it was awful); and teach me a few things. I thought, after this, I’ll never have to settle for less than I deserve...BOY was I wrong.

Back to the part about me being invisible for a moment. Throughout high school, people knew I was gay. I told a few guys and expressed interest and they paid me no attention. COME TO FIND OUT, my (at the time good) friend Jonathan, had slept with a quite a few of them. (Backstory, I fell for Jonathan, he spurned me too, we became great friends, he then transitioned into being a woman, and now we don’t really talk). So, When I found this out, I was devastated. TO THIS DAY, I will never understand why I was not enough. I was SOOOOO nice to these guys. Dustin used to get picked on in middle school, and I used to stand up for him. Nick was the most beautiful boy in the world in high school with a smile that could like up the darkest soul and I would always root for him, etc. But, I wasn’t who they wanted. I mean, You think I’m a good guy now, you should have known me back then. I was such a kind spirit. My soul is so dark now and I don’t think that will ever be rectified.

These next instances are the reasons I will never be untainted. THESE STORIES ARE NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. If you don’t want to cry, feel sorry for me, or worry, stop reading now.

I have been abused mentally, physically, and emotionally. These stories are in sequential order.

When I was traveling once, I was drinking and felt like fulling one of my fantasies. I don’t remember why, but i know that I hadn’t been touched in a WHILE. And for a person who needs that, just a moment where someone can use you to “get off” is enough to make it through the night. One fantasy that is very popular in the gay community of being fucked by visitor who comes in the unlocked door and fucks you, then leaves after he finishes. No strings attached (NSA), photos presented beforehand (pics), usually some time of safeguards in place. I was new, and it was my fault. This guy sent me pictures on whatever app I was using, think it was Craigslist. He told me all his information, I told him where I was staying and said I’d be blindfolded, ready for him to fuck me when he walked in. As SOON as he walked in, I heard the door close and lock and I had a feeling something was wrong. He came up behind me, naked and grabbed my neck chokingly and SHOVED into me. And this guy’s body was WAY bigger than what he said. He was chub/stocky and nothing like what he had sent me. I tried to tell him to stop, that I didn’t want HIM. But clearly, he had done this before. And this was before catfishing was a THING. So, he wasn’t going to stop no matter how much I struggled. So, I resulted that this was a part of the “fantasy” that I had signed up for. I could NOT call this rape. I will never call that rape. Yes, someone lied to me, wouldn’t stop when I said so, but I was totally in the wrong here. I put myself in a situation to be taken advantage of by a stranger. That is one of the things that makes this fantasy so hot. Just happens in my case, that it went terribly awry,  So, I went limp and let him finish. He left. I locked the door and took down the posting I had made. My throat was on fire and he had pulled my hair too hard. But he was gone and I was alone again. 

Another time in a hotel room, laying over in Washington, Dulles I was getting ready for bed. I was hungry, so put my iphone on the charger, grabbed my food and went for the microwave on another floor. When I came back, my phone was charged enough to check my facebook. As soon as I opened it up, on my timeline it says “PAUL IS IN A RELATIONSHIP”. I said, wait...what? My Paul? the one who I helped move? The one I got a xmas tree for? The one I held while crying? The one I protected from himself? The one whose bed I was JUST in? The guy I had been talking to like every day? My heart was beating out of my chest and I couldn’t breathe. Now, I’m not nor have I ever been naive. We weren’t a couple. He wan’t mine. But I wanted him, made it known. He said lots of things that didn’t add up to much. But, I was in his life, so I accepted that until he could give me more. But when I saw THAT status. I LOST it! Why? because he had told me WORD FOR WORD: “I don’t want a relationship right now. I have some little twink guy from this broadway show who likes me, but I’m not interested.” I always did status checks to make sure I didn’t get blindsided. But alas, here I was despite all my effors. My body went NUMB. Tears ran down my face. I dropped to my knees and asked God or whomever was in charge of things WHY the FUCK was it not me?? Am I not cute enough? Am I too poor? Not successful enough? What did I do? I immediately texted my friend Ant and told her what was up and that I was ready to end it. Before I knew it, I was on a 3 way call. What no one knows is, at one point I was bathroom, in the tub, with a razor, a full bottle of advil, a bottle of wine to hopefully make the blood run faster. I had never contemplated killing myself. This was a knee-jerk reaction to someone I loved with every fiber of my being choosing to give his love to someone else who didnt even have to try! If he could throw me away after I gave all I had and more that I didn’t even know I had in me, and he STILL didn’t want me, how is anyone else gonna love/choose me? So, I was ready to end it. Cuz I knew, this would not be the last time this would happen; guys don’t seem to care who they hurt or how. Paul texted me and said he didn’t owe me any explanation “dude”.  But my friends talked me down from that ledge I was prepping to jump off. I also was terrified of doing it. I didn’t know if it would even work. And I didnt want my family to go through that. Till this day, that is why I could never commit suicide. I do think about it, yes. My life sucks. And try as I may, I don’t see a reason for me being here. And yes, I’ve been to many therapists ever since college. Its not a problem that can be talked out. I suffer from depression that can only be assuaged by fixing the problem; the problem is my life. (love, money, music). So, I just try to keep on. I’m not bi-polar; although, sometimes I wish I were. That is a diagnosis that can be managed with medication. My life, cannot be managed. But I’m trying...I am trying.

Now, as I mentioned before, not a big fan of coworker dating/fucking/etc. HOWEVER, there are 2 people I have always said I’d try if I had the chance. Because they may be reading this (doubt it, but I will fight my petty urges), We’ll just call them Trip and Kurt. Now, Trip and I have been messaging off and on doing this whole cat and mouse thing for years. He winds up telling me he’s interested but we couldn’t tell anyone at work; which I agreed to. And would have tried to keep his confidence, FOR HIM. He is really against work relations as well. This all started with grindr and just escalated to us talking off and on. Finally one day, he texts ME and asks “Hey sexy, you in NY?” I wasn’t. Was working. But I never post my whereabouts on FBOOK so, the question was warranted. He said he really wanted to fuck. Our paths kept not being able to cross. So, LONG story short, I rearranged my schedule and we set up a “date” at his place when I got back. I was working a redeye. Told him I’d get home, run my errands take a quick nap and be over to make a full day of it. Trip agrees with everything. I do exactly what I say (I’m a Leo, it’s what we do. We’re consistent. We’re straight forward). I pick up a bottle of $20+ wine to show him I really give a shit and to be courteous because a good southern boy doesn’t arrive at someone’s house empty handed. I knew he had been done wrong and I wanted to put my first foot forward, even if it was just sex he wanted. I message him when I was on the way back home...no response. Ok, I wanna shower. Text him again...tells me he’s out. I say, “ok well just tell me when to head over. I’ll be at home” He says “ok sounds good baby.”  Ok, so I take my hour nap so I don’t miss his text. (For me, you KNOW that is no small feat!) I get up and he still hasn’t messaged me. So I wait...and wait...and wait for 5 hours. Then I text him “Ok...well, headed to bed I guess. Hope you had a good night. (he’s scheduled to work the next day so I KNOW no late fun was happening)  But beforehand, my spidey senses were tingling. So, I got on facebook. OH, he’s out living his best life! Fuck MY time right? Awesome. I had a drink then went to sleep. Next day, he messages me that he fell asleep after getting home. BOO, so...you left your friends (after you went out...yeah, I saw the check-ins), hopped a train, got home, and never NOT ONCE thought to text me to tell me a damn thing?! But you say “sorry” and I’m supposed to just accept that? No. I wanted you past the point of that barrier I placed up barring all guys I worked with. You just took a big dump on that AND made me feel shitty in the process. I took that bottle of white wine to the head by myself at some point btw...

Now Kurt, he’s special...I met him and was immediately entranced. To keep this one shorter, he also told me HE DIDNT WANT TO DATE ANYONE. Guys need to stop telling these motha fuckin lies!  Ok, so I’ll be your friend. But I really like him. So, I’m minding my own business and facebook again notifies me, Kurt is in a relationship. OH? with WHOM? Oh! someone we work with? Someone you met AFTER ME?! Interesting...now, when this boy confessed a secret to me, I was totally loving and told him my past experiences and that he’s and amazing person, etc. So, the next time we work together, I don’t mention his new BF. He brings it up and explains how and why he fell for him. WOULDNT YOU KNOW IT, the boyfriend said the same thing I did about his secret but just BEFORE he happened to conceal it. I tried so hard not to roll my eyes when he told me that. It was like a smack in the face. If you don’t think I’m cute, just say that. But don’t talk about how someone’s heart won you over. Cuz I was here loving on you before. I went back up to my room (tipsy) turned on some Aaliyah and cried myself to sleep. I am never gonna be enough for these boys/men. I saw that now. Paul had recently resurged and re-exited my life after telling me he loved me. I WAITED for that! He was the first man to ever say those words. And they were supposed to mean something! And shortly after...he ghosted me again. So, I’m feeling pretty worthless at this point.

No matter what I do, I’m never good enough. I keep trying to be the best me and there is always someone there saying, nah...this other dude is better. Swipe left. “Thank you, Next” (I don’t like Ariana Grande btw.) I have this fear that when I’m old, some guy I’ve loved forever will find me and say, I married someone else. He’s gone now, he did me wrong. We can be together now. Like I’m only going to be someone’s choice after their first choices have bit the dust. That is NOT okay with me. 

So, here I am on Valentine’s day trying to explain to all of you who have someone to “come home to”. EVEN if you don’t like Vday, do not pretend that this day doesn’t matter or make people feel a certain way. I’m alone AND I’m lonely. Don’t tell me I shouldn’t feel this unless you tell me how to not feel that way; and your explanation better not involve friends. Sorry, friends have their own issues and while checking in and venting is great, they can’t be your life support. They can’t help you take care of your heart. Especially if they are married, have kids, etc. You’re the single 3rd wheel. 

I tried to take myself to the movies. The movies I wanted were all sold out by couples. Dinner, tables full. So, I ate leftovers from yesterday’s dinner I cooked and am halfway through this bottle of wine. You cannot fault a person for wanting love. Finding it may have been somewhat easy/happenstance for you. And I try not to fault YOU for that. Everything has been hard for me. Literally, everything. That’s the only reason I’m still here. Because when something happens, I yell, scream, vent, handle it like Olivia Pope, then continue on. No one is there at night when i lay down. No one said Happy Valentine’s day to me today. No one is gonna smile at me when i wake up in the morning.  Nope, I have to survive my morning after by myself. No pill in hand to help.

“Children needing other children, yet letting our grown-up pride hide all the need inside...acting more like children, than children.”

[insarations]

random questions just cause...hereeell we go

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? *chuckles* yup

2. You talked to an ex today, correct? yes

3. Have you taken someones virginity? ya

4. Is trust a big issue for you? no in fact I trust people way too much

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? don't really like anyone atm

6. What are you excited for? hmm idk really. I guess my week off of work in a few weeks

7. What happened tonight? not much, just chilling, rainy day

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? ehh..idk it's just not my thing. but I wouldn't call it "disgusting"..if that's fun for them then cool

9. Is confidence cute? for sure, just not tooo much..fine line there

10. What is the last beverage you had? water and an iced vanilla latte

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? hmm. not any really besides my dad

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? yes a couple

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? I'm not sure yet. Probably go somewhere with a friend or see a movie

14. What are you going to spend money on next? probably either food or coffee

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? no

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? not significantly but I feel like I'm always changing in some way, even if it's gradual

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? not gonna put a name but one of my best friends

18. The last time you felt broken? that's hard to answer cause like i still do, i have for a while now but I mean it's not as bad as it was. about a year ago

19. Have you had sex today? sadly no lol

20. Are you starting to realize anything? a lot of things every second of every day. adulthood has a lot of fucking wake up calls

21. Are you in a good mood? not necessarily in a good mood but i'm not really in a bad mood either..it's just kinda like meh lol

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? hmm.... maybeee... depends

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? no. his is brown, mine are blue

24. What do you want right this second? not to have to go to work tomorrow XD and idk maybe a good ol makeout session and/or cuddles

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? uhhh well like if i were in a relationship with them then wtf, no no lol not good. but like if it was someone i'm not together with then...cool, do whatever the hell you want

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? pretty much

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? noo.. like i mean they don't gotta be some sorta jokester/comedian or nothing but just..don't be so serious. laughing is the best

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? probably one of my cats lol

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? always do

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? for the most part. but idk...I don't think I could give someone who cheated another chance. that's just crossing a line of trust that like..I could forive but I wouldn't be able to be with them again. I just don't understand anyone who cheats

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? that would be my dad so no XD

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? hmm hard to answer. but I suppose she does

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? nooo I love soda. with that said though, since the beginning of the year i've cut back on it alottttt for my health. but i still drink it maybe once a week. i used to drink it literally every day multiple times a day.

34. Listening to? currently juice WRLD

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? sometimes at work but not often

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? yup

37. Do you believe in love at first sight? yes and no. i hate that question, it's old lets move on lol

38. Who did you last call? i cant remember, probably one of my parents. i dont talk on the phone much

39. Who was the last person you danced with? I dont dance really except in the car with my friends..our own version of dancing XD

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? cause she was my girlfriend. girlfriends do that lol

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? a few weeks ago i think

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? no..we don't hug often really lol we're just not that way but i do hug my mom every now and then

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? probably a million times

44. Do you tan in the nude? noooooooo. i burn so easy i'd probably turn into one giant tomato

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? never

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? nah :/ I miss that

47. Who was the last person to call you? a million car sales people cause i'm stupid and entered info on a website and now it's like the neverending fucking story of sales people calling me like heyyyy buy a jeep and its like yes mam id love to but i'm poor so how about not right now stop calling me thank you bye

48. Do you sing in the shower? heck ya. except not really lately cause i shower at the gym...they don't wanna hear that XD

49. Do you dance in the car? yasss

50. Ever used a bow and arrow? yes, I did archery at camp as a kid. fun times

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? 10th grade highschool photo. or if it counts, my aunt took my graduation photos..she perty professional

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? there definitely can be cheesy ones but those are usually the ones i love XD

53. Is Christmas stressful? these days yes -_- never as a kid. I miss those days

54. Ever eat a pierogi? I don't think I have actually

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? not a huge fruit pie person but I guess...apple or lemon. I really don't eat fruit pie though. If  it's gonna be pie then I prefer something like chocolate or peanut butter

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? so many different things, that's why i never settled on anything XD

57. Do you believe in ghosts? I think so..in a certain way.. like not in the way they show on tv and movies. just idk, i do believe in spirits. There's some stories in my family they are kinda hard not to believe or explain

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? allllll the time

59. Take a vitamin daily? nah, probably should ?

60. Wear slippers? not anymore, I used to alot

61. Wear a bath robe? same as above. I get way too hot for that now lol

62. What do you wear to bed? usually just shorts or boxers and a tank top or tshirt. sometimes sweatpants dependning  

63. First concert? reba mcentire lol

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? target. walmart for certain things. but target is just fun

65. Nike or Adidas? neither really but adidas if i have to pick

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? I like both, but peanuts

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? back in the day, crazier. then it was blank space or shake it off...but recently, delicate. many different taylor eras XD

69. Ever take dance lessons? when I was in elementary school and 6th grade yes

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? umm hmm honestly no. whatever makes them happy :)

71. Can you curl your tongue? nah, i dont got nothing special like that XD

72. Ever won a spelling bee? nahh

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? yesss

74. What is your favorite book? several...looking for alaska by john greene, the pawn series by robin roseau, and look again by lisa scottoline

75. Do you study better with or without music? havent studied in so long O_o but probably with

76. Regularly burn incense? not regularly. I do from time to time but not as much anymore, my mom hates it lol

77. Ever been in love? yes

78. Who would you like to see in concert? so many... fleetwood mac or just stevie nicks, ben howard, maroon 5, pvris, ariana grande, lana del rey, the weeknd, pink, coldplay, imagine dragons lady gaga, andrew belle, adele, lorde, gwen stefani even though I already did lol...i could go on all day. bottom line, i need to see more concerts

79. What was the last concert you saw? Gwen Stefani a couple years ago

80. Hot tea or cold tea? cold

81. Tea or coffee? coffee

82. Favorite type of cookie? alllllll the cookies. lately m&m. but chocolate chip is always a winner

83. Can you swim well? yes

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? nahh

85. Are you patient? yes and no. depends on the setting and circumstance lol. I think I'm fairly patient compared to other people but sometimes at work..if the right people push my buttons then oohhh boyyy no

86. DJ or band, at a wedding? hmm.. neither honestly just put on the damn ipod playlist XD

87. Ever won a contest? a couple when I was little lol

88. Ever have plastic surgery? noo. no thank you

89. Which are better black or green olives? greeeeeen

90. Opinions on sex before marriage? go for it. I used to think alot differently when I was younger cause I'm a christian, grew up with traditional values. but *sighs*... things change lol sex is great, go for it but be safe people XD

91. Best room for a fireplace? ANY ROOM. omggg. they should have fireplaces in the bathroom. what a great idea you can just warm yourself while you sitting there haha genius

92. Do you want to get married? If I meet the right person but if I don't ever get married that's fine too lol it's not a priority for me really but if I do meet the right person then for sure

[meteora-writes]

So I just found out Luciana is confirmed for s4 and since I am a super petty bitch was wondering if you could write a trick fic where Troy lives and eventually ends up running into luci and nick. Nick has this relationship crisis but ends up choosing Troy? Idk if you can make this short enough for just a req fic but hey worth a shot to ask right? (never stop writing btw please)!!!!!!!

Sorry it took me a while to get to this one, I too am a bit of a petty bitch about this situation (mostly because I think they’re going to have them get back together like nothing ever happened between them in the first place), so I’ll gladly give this a shot.  

~~~~~

No Choice

Parings: Nick Clark x Luciana Galvez & Nick Clark x Troy Otto

Warnings: ANGST, Self-Destructive Behavior, Drama, A nauseating level of fluffy feels, Love Confessions, First Kisses

Notes: Thanks to @anon-ai for helping with the parts of the story in Spanish. I really appreciate it.

~~~~~

Nick made his way back to the bazaar after he blew up the dam. After bullshitting his way back in he went back to working for El Matarife like nothing had happened. No one asked about where his family or friend had gone, and nobody cared that he was constantly drunk and high.

On the morning of his 7th day back working for Matarife, Nick was out collecting walker heads when he noticed a car driving towards him. He ignored it, content to behead a slow-moving walker with his machete. The car was probably headed down the road to the bazaar anyway.

Nick tossed the walker head into his rickety shopping cart with the others and started to push it along the roadside when the approaching car slowed to a crawl behind him. He kept on ignoring it. It wasn’t the first time someone stopped to gawk at him as he did his job.

A moment later the engine cut and Nick could hear the telltale sound of a car door opening and closing. He heaved a sigh as he turned to tell off whoever was walking up behind him, a hand on the handle of his machete just to be safe. “What-” he began, words dying on his tongue at the sight before him.

Standing beside the front bumper of a beat up old Buick Century, was Luciana in all her post-apocalyptic glory. “Nick.” She said, eyes wide as she took in the sight of him for the first time in weeks.

Nick blinked in disbelief, briefly wondering if he was still high before he took a step forward, then another, and another. Before he knew what he was doing, he had wrapped both arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug that she returned without hesitation.

After a long talk (read as: lots of arguing ending in Nick telling Luciana everything that happened after she left him) Luciana told Nick that she had never found her friends in Mexicali, and that she’d been wandering ever since. She’d heard about El Bazar and decided to check it out.  

The two ended up falling back into a relationship of sorts after that. At first Luciana was just crashing with Nick in the quarters that Matarife set him up in, then one night, Nick woke up from a nightmare to Luciana standing over him with this look in her eyes. She ended up climbing into bed with him and the rest was history.

Or so they thought.

Two months later Nick was sitting in the cantina, his head aching from yet another night of terrible sleep and an excess of equally terrible tequila. He had already finished work for the day, so now he was nursing a glass of something that tasted something like lemonade mixed with lighter fluid while he waited for Luciana to return from a scouting mission.

After a while a figure plopped down onto the vacant stool beside Nick’s, their elbow bumping Nicks as they got settled. Nick couldn’t really see the person in question, the hood of his jacket was pulled up to try and shield his eyes from the harsh light of day. He grunted at the other person jostling his arm and in turn his drink, but otherwise he paid them no mind.

The figure, a man, knocked his knuckles on the bar top to get the tender’s attention. “I’ll have a water.”

Nick froze mid sip at the sound of the man’s voice. He knew that voice. It had been haunting his dreams for months.

Turning his head slowly he was greeted with the side profile of none other than Troy Otto. A living, breathing, Troy Otto. Nick fell out of his seat at the realization that the man beside him was real and not a drug induced vision.

Half the denizens of the cantina were laughing at Nick as he flailed to the floor, spilling his drink all over himself and making his hood fall back from his face in the process. He landed hard, momentarily stunning him and forcing him to close his eyes tight against the world.

When Nick opened his eyes again, Troy was standing before him, his own eyes wide with shock as he looked down at Nick. The two stared at each other a moment before Troy smiled and held out a hand that Nick took without hesitation. The instant Troy had Nick on his feet the taller man had pulled him into a bone crushing hug.

“I don’t…  How are you here? You were dead, my mom killed you! How the hell are you alive?” Nick asked, pulling away and looking Troy over. The left side of his temple had a gnarly pink/red scar that spider webbed around the corner of his eye from where the hammer had struck and torn away flesh. His hair covered a section of it, but it was still painfully obvious against the natural tone of Troy’s skin.

“She knocked me out. Pretty sure she fractured my skull, too. I woke up a few days later in some village down river. They told me someone blew up the dam and I was found on the riverbank not long after.” Troy explained looking Nick over as well. “You look like shit.” He added.

Nick snorted a laugh at that. “You’re one to talk.”

“I don’t know. I think the scars give me an air of mystery.” Troy said, grinning broadly at Nick like it’d been a day since they’d seen each other last and not over two months.  

Nick found himself grinning back. “They give you an air of crazed serial killer.”

“So, you’re saying they don’t affect my boyish good looks in the slightest then.” Troy quipped, earning a punch in the shoulder for it.

Nick rolled his eyes before turning back to the bar to flag the tender down for another drink. “Okay, so, you’re alive, you have been this whole time. What the hell, man? Where have you been? Why didn’t you come looking for me sooner?” He asked as righted his stool and took a seat.

“I had amnesia.” Troy said with a shrug as he sat down beside Nick.

“You’re kidding.”  

“Nope. Couldn’t even tell you my own name up until a few days ago. People that found me were calling me Joe. I hated it. But on the bright side I learned some Spanish and I think I’m a little less racist now.” He said with a small laugh before taking a sip of his water.

“Of course, you did.” Nick said with a fond smile and a shake of his head. “It’s really good to see you. You would not believe the nightmares I’ve had since everything that went down at the dam.”

“Yeah? I’ve had nightmares about what happened at the dam too.” Troy said, cocking his head a little to catch Nick’s eye as he stared down into his drink.

“Yeah?” Nick asked, blinking up from his drink to meet Troy’s gaze.  

“Yeah.” Troy said, scratching at his jaw as he thought about it. “I’d see Madison coming at me with the hammer, then I’d see you looking horrified, then I’d wake up thinking it was actually happening.”

“I’m sorry.” Nick blurted.

“For what?” Troy asked with a snort. “Madison’s the one who snapped and tried to kill me. That isn’t your fault.”

“But it is! I couldn’t protect you! If I hadn’t gotten cornered by Daniel then mom never would have found out what really happened with the horde and you never would have gotten hurt!” Nick argued, turning his body so he was mostly facing Troy now.

“Nick, she would have found out eventually. And chances are she would have had a gun instead of a hammer when she did. I don’t blame you for how things went down.” Troy said, grabbing hold of Nick’s hand and giving a squeeze as he looked the younger man in the eyes.

Nick looked from Troy’s eyes down to where the older man’s hand was holding his own. The contact made his stomach do a funny little flip. He kind of liked the felling. “Troy, what are-”

“Just, hear me out.” Troy cut in, giving Nick’s hand another squeeze as he made Nick look him in the eye again. “I couldn’t remember who you were for over two months, but you were in every single dream I had in that time and one thing became crystal clear to me. I am so in love with you, Nick. I’m in love with you and I wanna be with you for the rest of my life.”

Nick felt like he was dreaming. He had to be. No way in hell this was actually happening.

“What the hell is going on!?!?!” Luciana yelled from behind Nick, breaking the spell Troy’s word had created.

Nick yanked his hand from Troy’s so grasp fast he almost pulled the taller man from his bar stool in the process. “Luciana, you’re back.” Nick said as he moved to stand.

“Answer me, Nick! Qué está haciendo aquí este psicópata? Tu me dijiste que el había muerto!” She spat, glaring daggers at Troy, who had moved to stand behind Nick.

“Calm down, please, people are staring.” Nick said, grabbing hold of Luciana’s arm and pulling her away from the busy cantina and in the direction of their living quarters.

“I will not calm down! What is he even doing here?” Luciana asked as she yanked her arm free of Nick’s grip.

“He came looking for me. He survived my mom attacking him and when the dam blew it washed him down river. El despertó con amnesia después de eso. Sus recuerdos acaban de regresar hace unos días.” Nick explained, feeling like his life had turned into a fucking telenovela or some kind of harlequin romance novel.  

“Te das cuenta de lo loco que suena eso?” Luciana scoffed as she came to stop outside the door to  their room. “You lost your family because of him, Nick! Why were you even talking to that monster?”

“Because he is my family! Cuando tu te fuiste el estuvo ahí para mí! When I got high and lost my mind in the middle of a horde he saved me! I know he’s a monster, but so am I, Luci. The only difference between us is that I tried not to be!” Nick defended, all of the feelings he’d been ignoring for far too long coming out in one burst.

“Y qué hay de mi? If you consider that bastardo family then que soy yo?” She demanded, getting right in Nick’s face.

“Luciana, I-”

“Don’t! If you’re going to let that monster back into your life then I want no part in it. Tienes que tomar una decisión, Nick.” She said flatly before pushing past him and disappearing into their shared living space.

Nick watched her go, eyes wide in shock and a hand held out in front of him where he’d reached to try and stop her. A moment later he heard a throat being cleared and he turned to see Troy standing a few feet behind him.

“Did you mean all that?” Troy asked, head tilted a little to the side as he studied Nick closely, like he thought it all might be a lie.

“Every word.” Nick said softly, locking eyes with Troy.

“I’ll understand if you choose Luciana.” Troy said after a short pause with a nod of his head. “I know how much you care about her.”

“Cared.” Nick corrected without thinking. He blinked in confusion at his own statement before speaking again. “I mean, I still care about her… But not like I did before she left the ranch…”

Troy looked a bit taken aback by Nick’s confession, his blue eyes wide and trained on Nick’s face. “So… How do you feel about me then? You didn’t really get a chance to say anything before we were interrupted back there.” He asked, trying hard not to sound hopeful.

“Honestly…” Nick began, taking a few steps forwards so he was right in Troy’s personal space when he went to speak again. This close he could he could see the few strands of red hiding in the dirty blonde of Troy’s beard when his gaze flicked down to the older man’s mouth momentarily. “I’ve been in love with you since the night we got high together and you stopped me from talking myself to death.” He said with a small smile. “Maybe longer…”

Troy’s features broke into a broad smile before he brought both hands to cup Nick’s face and pull him into a kiss. It was soft, and sweet, and totally not what Nick would have expected from a first kiss from Troy Otto. It was perfect.

When the kiss ended a moment later, Troy let his forehead rest against Nick’s as he looked him in the eyes. “So, it took you that long to fall for me?”

Nick snorted a laugh and pushed Troy away from him playfully. “Like you loved me from day one.” He snarked, remembering the look of boredom on Troy’s face the first time he’d seen him covered in walker blood back at the depot.

“Nah. I loved you from the moment you held a gun to my head and told me I wasn’t a scientist.” Troy said easily as he continued to smile at Nick.

Nick cracked another smile at that. “Of course, that would be the moment.” He said with a roll of his eyes. “Hey, let’s get out of here. I don’t know about you, but I seriously hate this place.”

“Where do you want to go?” Troy asked, blinking down at where Nick had taken his hand and laced their fingers together.

“I don’t know, but I’ve got a car and credits for enough gas and supplies to hold us over for a while.” Nick said easily, leading the way to the busy trade area of the bazaar.

“You’re not going to say anything to Luciana?” Troy asked, looking back over his shoulder at the door the woman had vanished through before turning to watch where Nick was taking him.

“She was listening, she knows what my choice is.” Nick said with a shake of his head.

With that they got enough supplies to get them started someplace new, and they left the bazaar. Neither of them looked back or wondered what could have happened if either of them chose differently.

[jimmynames]

5

took me long enough.. 

I don’t know why I put this off, I was meant to write something along these lines on the 4th of July as I have done religiously for the last 4 years before.. but something felt different this year.. I feel different tbh.. where to start..

I guess from right now to as far close as the 4th as I can remember.. It’s been an incredible year.. I’ve learnt a lot, both in code and my self but now also music.. I’m growing and have grown as a person, man, individual.. it cost me some friends and even some shame along the way but tbh can’t change anything and it made me who i am today so /shrug emoji lol It’s odd this ‘growing up’ thing.. so many constraints implied by society as to what a 29 (now) (was 28 when i shoulda wrote this) man should be doing with his life.. thankfully I feel writing this now more so than say the 4th aligned with ideals within myself as to what maturity is and what I want rather than should be doing.. I guess I have a lot to say =} 

I love you Dad, I miss you so much, it’s so cruel that I carry on growing and you can’t see it - althuogh I do believe you are watching, with your signs and whatever else idk could be a cope but still.. I am your son.. I feel it.. I see it.. I know it and it’s a wonderful feeling - to grow into the shadow and shine to cast my own in the image of yourself but inherently through my own agency and digression - myself. Quite the model to follow so thankyou with all my heart. Still looking forward to dying.. even completed the fucking motorbike mission but as it so happens I wasn’t as reckless as I intended and didn’t die - but instead I was safe and found a real desire to live.. sentiments remain about the alure of death but it’ll come in good time no doubt :D

This will, and happiness it’s the result of the past years work. I moved home around September and embarked on so many changes it’s unreal actually lol.. I lost mates, I started therapy.. I made some mistakes and I took accountability.. I discovered what real friendship is and who my real friends are.. still pains me to think of some friends who might not be friends but everyone’s human and as jeff said, a bitch ass ni***a so gotta account for people’s weaknesses as much as you consider their strengths.. jsut wish those that wronged me would consider the same for myself but we stay moving.. 

Therapy was amazing.. first I saw Kirsten and whilst she was good Laura really was the one.. shoutout the NHS.. processing some stuff and even just having a healthcare professional acknowledge my pain was theraputic.. 

I bought a motorbike and fixed it up.. proper took it apart, repaired , painted, put back together and then had the pleasure of speeding around and doing missions, cruises and what not all this year.. it was a sick project and an unforgettable journey.. there’s no cmd+z on a motorbike that’s all im saying.. it was sick to go from 0 to hero lol but like have an idea and execute it.. I do believe this is my power - execution and tennacity.. 

I told myself from the 1st of janurary 2020 i would label myself as an artist in whatever form or shape that takes.. I could of done nothing and I would still hold this true.. and I’m glad I did because I guess I started making art.. What’s cool is in doing so.. I starting producing more work, both in music and graphics.. I found myself friends and in circles I’d only ever consumed via soundcloud.. I even got invited to join a art crew and travelled to berlin to hang out with some artists.. shoutout n0_ZoN3 for real for real based group of people who aint into PC culture.. low key refreshing btu still decent human beings.. 

Erm so music =}}} I got into Hong Kong Radio!! Had dj collectives from around the world hit me up for mixes and made some super cool friends and connections.. started studying music theroy and even had a respectable musican say he’s seeing growth and musicality from myself in each and every release so that’s exciting.. I didn’t even know the word ‘musicality’ until then.. in the past year I kinda grounded myself.. I’m not a DJ I’m not a producer.. so don’t act like one :D but also I’m jsut a guy who has decks and knows some basics about ableton :)) and that’s al there is to it.. I share what I make when I feel proud of it and I stay learning.. we’ll see how far I get but tbh it’s not like ‘i uave to do this’ lol it’s just something im pationate about :) I’m sooo hapy and glad I got into it FINALLLY fuck sake james.. silly boy.. either way I’m a man now and all I can say is I’m discovering my sound through making beats and songs and I’m excited for the next year.. plan on getting piano lessons and just dedicating more time to it.. especailly when im living on my own omg.. just finishing work and spinning the decks no one else.. jsut you and the vibe.. yeah dreamy stuff.. and all of this ALL of this.. 

is soley possible because of CODE. my god. how grateful I am for it and myself for makign this deicison and begingin this path of learning and ‘development’’... it’s amazing how much it’s all entertwined.. everything.. from inception and conceptuation and delivering dreams into reality which seeps into that of other realsm like music and the motorbike. 

okay so i spent the last two nights refactoring my code on my personal site as a means of exercising some redux knowledge - and I was successful :D feels so good to have had enough eureka moments at least to get some basics down.. just need a few more xp’s and should have it on lock.. fuck july 2019 was so long ago.. I built a VR world for a mix to celebrate one year in music.. should really record 2nd year soon :thinking-face: maybe new vr world :thinking-face: built some sites for businesses both indivudally and also as part of Verlay which is myself, Jacob and Jeff and Ari as consultant either way im running out of time becfore the year ends.. 

I’m happy

life is good

life is life

life is pain

I wrote some poems

I made some songs

I mixed some mixes

I fixed a bike

I moved home

I healed

I reconnected

I natured

I quit smoking

I became clean from drugs

I went to therapy

I swam every day for a while

I started the gym

I ate a lot

I grew up?

I got into skincare

I got into sleep

Im still me

I started telling people my name was james 

i fell out with some friends

I made a lot of new friends

Im moving to glasgow

I’m excited for the future

like really excited..

like I can’t believe how lucky and happy I am

I miss you Dad so much more than words can evoke

I got closer with alex

I helped my siblings and i grew closer with my mum

2021

redux on lock

nick mills’ website

verlay ramp up efforts x deliverables

travel scotland

get full bike licence

get my own place

gym x gains

three.js

more react

more organisation

more chords

more midi

more music

more freedom

more self

more love

more life

shoutout the real ones

love to the closest and dearest 

fuck the haters <3