#i don’t knowwwwwww
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#I don’t knowwwwwww#anyways content maybe not too sure + unlikely + not at all#I’m just getting the bang for my buck
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Update on this that no one saw or wanted: I deadass dreamed that my friend told me Renjun was back and was sending me videos
I think I’ve lost my mind
I need people to stfu so Renjun can come back now cause I’m now realising the weight I put into the term “emotional support kpop boy”
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good 21st century schizoid morning everypony
#I made delicious Turkish scrambled eggs#i don’t have to work until one today but I am TIRED#Spotify#I just knowwwwwww today is the day I run into my old professor at my job. i just know it. i don’t usually work this shift
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#I wanna knowwwwwww#because I think a lot of people think Lauren#which is crazy to me#because that might be my least favorite Emily look lol#I’m also cutting it down to black hair bangs and no bangs because if I added all of the styles it would be too much lol#I’m also excluding the wig….because I can it’s my poll#this is also just solely on looks don’t judge based on the storylines or how Emily acts during these hair periods lol
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Ackk,… Yiik Announcement before the end of the month and MAYBE,..
Face in my hands I still don’t know what possessed me on that August Night all I did was drink a strawberry milkshake in a bag how did I jump to drawing a selfcest saliva trail drawing 3 hours later
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punya told me that i’m referred to as a ‘one way map’ bc i’ll get everyone there, but someone else needs to take me back [bc i’d have progressively gotten to drunk to get home]
#stream#ALSKALKSLAKSLAKSLAKSLAJSL#IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO KNOW WHAT THE INPLICATION WAS 😭😭😭😭#my sobriety journey …#but also tea bc i’m good at mental mapping & navigation but it’s soooo TRUE bc literally was thinking abt like everytime ive been on#vacation w my brother like he has 0 mapping or navigation ability so i’ll take us somewhere but then he’ll have to pull up a map to get us#back bc i won’t even remember the hotel name at that point ALAKALKSLAKSLAKALAKAALALLALSKALSKLK#ITS SOOOOOOO BAD#like i even look back at everytime i was drinking like yea bro u literally just#don’t stop once u start#like oh empty glass ? owo i’ll fill it back up !#& at least i realize that now#like oh my god i’ve been drinking straight liquor since i was like 17#like i’m remembering my cousins wedding ??? 😭😭😭😭#BUT TO BE FAIR I WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE BLACK OUT LIKE UNCLE WAS RIGHT THERE W ME#& SO WERE MANY OTHER GUESTS I KNOWWWWWWW IT WAS OPEN BARRRRRRRR#girl even the family gathering that we did before the wedding … mess#we were taking pictures i was too drunk to stand straight & my mother was soooo MAD ALSKALSKALKSLAKALAKSLAKSLA#anyway#this is me alcohol-iniscing
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@ the redacted asmr/audio community DOES THAT TIMELINE DISCUSS MY CHILDREM AKA FREDDY & BRIGHT AMSWER QUICKLY
#PLEASE I NEED TO KNOWWWWWW#IM BEGGING YALL PLS IF THERES ANY SHRED OF INFORMATION ON MY MISSING CHILDREN PLS SEND IT MY WAY#also if y’all don’t tell me asher’s last name i’ll become Violent INEED TO KNOWWWWWWW#redacted asmr
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i’m so uncomfortable i don’t know if i can finish the episode
#ughhhhh secondhand embarrassment#dimension 20#neverafter#i don’t know i don’t know i don’t knowwwwwww
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i hope you know that you’re still super young, and it’s okay to feel like you haven’t gotten far in life, because you have so much of it left to live 💖💖💖 your life isn’t over at 23, there’s still a lot of time to be whatever you want. just take your time figuring it out 💖🥰
-🌸
💖
#yeahhhhhhh I know I knowwwwwww#to be fair I’m actually 24#just haven’t changed my bio yet shhhh#but it’s just so so so easy to compare myself to other people my age#like most of the people I knew from high school all went to college and are graduated now#they all have a career and know what they’re doing with their life#some of them are even married#my mind just goes on a downward spiral#like if I only focused more once I graduated high school#if I only went to college and figured out what I want to do with my life#I had so many plans and dreams and hopes for the future#and now it’s just dark#it’s just hard when you grow up and you’re like this super talented child#but then mental illness gets in the way#and you don’t grow up the way you should#so it’s all fucked up now#I’m 24 but I feel like I’m 16#I thought my life was going to be crazy different#I thought I would at least have my life kinda figured out by now#I know there’s a bunch of posts going around about this#but it’s really crazy when you grow up and you don’t think you’re going to make it past 18#like I was positive I was going to die before my 20s#so I didn’t have a plan#and now that I’m in my 20s I’m like??????????#I’m here?#I’m alive?#ok cool#now what#running out of space so I’m shutting up now but thank you so much for the kind words I really appreciate them 💖💖💖#🌸 anon
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thinking of opening comms again after art fight but I don’t knowwwww
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WIBTA If I Tell Quirked-Up Cisboy Roommate He Wouldn’t Last One Day Of My Malevolent Goings-On.
#i just knowwwwwww he’s going to find the items in my cup holder objectionable…#ok just bc YOU don’t understand a discarded med bottle crusted with mineral salts a Thomas the tank engine spoon and a very round river roc#k
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fighting for my life in my notes apps
#every time i’m like i want to sew and i get to the actually figuring out how the fuck i’m putting it together phase#it’s like i don’t knowwwwwww#talkin
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WAHHHHHHH LILY I’M GONNA SOB I LOVE YOU SM
OKAY FIRST OF ALL THIS IS LITERALLY ONE OF THE SWEETEST THINGS ANYONE HAS EVER DONE!!!!! THE LOVE YOU HAVE FOR SUKUNA & YOUR MOOTS… SNIFFLES <333 i hope you know we love and appreciate you so much i’m Literally smooching you as we speak :3
ALSO THE IO MENTION RAHHHHHHHHH OFC SHE WOULD BE THE FLOWERSHOP OWNER AND THAT SATORU WOULD BE HER HUBBY 🤭 AND THEN KENJAKU FOR ARI IS LEGITIMATELY ICONIC I KNOW THEY LOVE THEIR SILLY BRAIN TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH IT WAS SO CUTE <333 AND THEN . GULPS
ME AND SUGURU??????????????? WHEN I TELL YOU I FUCKING SCREAMEDDDDDDDDDD I LITERALLY BAGGED A BAD BITCH THANK YOU LORD LILY 🙏🏼🤭 AND ME AND HIM ARE GETTING MARRIED??? IKTR! BUT SERIOUSLY THIS IS A SUCH A SWEET LOVE LETTER TO NOT ONLY ALL YOUR MOOTS BUT SUKIE AS WELL :’) sniffles…….. let me get into it in the tags :3
in your peach blush dreams
synopsis : in which sukuna unexpectedly stumbles upon something – or rather, someone – he almost never believed could exist. w.c: 2.7k.
pairing : soulmate!florist!sukuna x f!reader
warnings : FLUFF! non curse au. adorably grumpy sukuna who only pretends he doesn’t believe in love or soulmates.
a/n : based on this request. hope you enjoy nonie!! @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat @gothsuguru @bungalowbear @hiraethwrote , i hope you love your cameos <3
divider / ao3
ryomen sukuna was a skeptic.
point. cut. blank.
anybody who knew him knew it well.
he didn’t believe in ghosts, poltergeists, or any of the things that cry and go bump in the night. there was always a logical explanation for everything and anything that happened outside the realm of normalcy. the world was ruled by physics and chemistry and numbers, and even though he was a florist, sukuna understood and wholeheartedly accepted the beauty of science.
however, there was one teeny, tiny thing that completely – and rather rudely – disregarded all of his beliefs.
and it was only a little dream.
one that he had been having since he was old enough to remember things.
sukuna couldn’t remember if there were before this particular one started, or even if any occurred after it. but he always remembered how he knew it was coming – the way his stomach would churn and lurch, like he was being catapulted from a cannon, free-falling through a black expanse of space and time and stars.
and then, sukuna would land face-first into a field of marshmallow-soft petals, bathed in the light of a pink sunrise.
at first, he didn’t know what sort of flowers had cushioned his fall. it took him quite a number years to even attempt sketching them, using a cheap set of coloring pencils he’d bought with his pocket money. and even, not a single person he showed his scratchings to had any clue at all.
it frustrated him to no end.
sukuna would always end up crumpling his drawings in his little fists and hurling them straight into the bin.
and try again.
and again.
it wasn’t until he was sixteen that he finally found the answer he had been looking for.
sukuna had just gotten a job working part-time at a flower shop after school. at first, the thought of being there was beyond humiliating. his twin brother had relentlessly teased him about it when he found out, which quickly resulted in a flurry of knuckles and fists.
he arrived to his first shift with a sour look and a black eye.
io, the shop owner at the time, gave him a humorous look with soft, chocolate eyes and taught him how to speak the language that only flowers knew. how to listen to the soft poetry held within the curl of their leaves and petals, telling you everything they needed to bloom.
in time, sukuna learned to enjoy it.
but he would never admit it to anyone.
one day, the shop received a rather large delivery of frighteningly familiar baby pink flowers. sukuna froze, his hands slippery and wet from the water droplets falling from the stems.
“what are those?” he’d gritted out, disbelief coated on his cracked lips.
io took one glance at the flowers in his grip, and answered, “oh, they’re zinnia flowers.”
zinnia flowers.
he whispered under his breath, testing how the letters rolled over and under his tongue.
after all this time, the answer to the mystery flower was finally in his palm, and sukuna couldn’t decide whether or not he felt relieved or disturbed about it.
all he could muster in response was, “right.”
io stared at him, and a young sukuna felt himself shrink a little under her gaze, his cheeks blossoming a brilliant red shade like the david austin roses beside him. he pretended to ignore her, distracting himself by placing bunches of flowers into water buckets and slowly, meticulously, arranging every single stem beautifully in the display window.
sukuna hated every second of it.
he felt like every single pink petal on those flowers were mocking him, laughing at him for being so wound up over them.
it was so unbelievably pathetic.
he’d never felt more like a loser in his whole life.
because despite all his beliefs about the supernatural and a higher power, he couldn’t hate those flowers even if he tried to, not really.
because they were hers.
the other person already sitting there in his dreams in an endless field of zinnia blooms.
she wouldn’t notice him straight away, even though sukuna crash-landed in a heap just beside her leg. she was too busy staring up at the clouds painted in strokes and swirls of blushing pink, with the sun bleeding in tones of vibrant peach. all he could notice was how her lips were parted in wonder as she took everything in around her with a wondrous energy.
it was only when he pushed himself up to sit beside her that she finally noticed him.
and laughed.
and it was the most beautiful thing sukuna had ever heard in his life.
it was joyously infectious, and he couldn’t help his own laughter from bubbling up from deep within his chest like a volcano. they laughed together for what seemed like hours, the limits of time stretching on forever in the land of dreams, and sukuna felt the angry fire in his soul simmer just a little.
and he would become sad.
because he knew this was when the dream would always end.
he’d open his bloodstained eyes to the dreadfully familiar, dull white ceiling that belonged to his bedroom, and sukuna would know he was back at square one all over again.
feeling alone.
so unbearably alone.
because the dream would still linger in those precious few minutes after he woke up, a ghost hovering over a gray sea. sukuna could feel the other half of his soul slipping away to wherever she belonged to in this vast world, and he would selfishly claw for her, begging and screaming in his mind.
don’t go! don’t go! don’t go!
sukuna wasn’t stupid; he knew she couldn’t stay, but that didn’t stop a bitter taste from spreading over his tongue like a drop of lemon juice.
it twisted him inside, and he hated the universe for making him yearn so deeply for someone he had never even met.
and might never.
it didn’t take long for io to catch on. she was always acutely aware of people, and to be known by her was to always be seen and understood.
“they scare you, don’t they?” io murmured to him gently, too gently for sukuna’s liking. “the zinnias.”
he snorted dismissively, cutting perfect forty-five degree angles into the stems of snow peonies. “i am not afraid of a fucking flower, io.”
she arched a brow, unimpressed. “no?”
“no.”
“are you sure?”
sukuna huffed and rolled his eyes, adding tufts of baby’s breath to the bouquet he was assembling. io leaned over the birch countertop, her wrists adorned with various pink ribbons and a playful twinkle in her eyes.
“i know what it is,” she said in a sing-song voice, drumming her nails against the wood.
he ignored her again, a blooming pink starting to grace the tips of his ears, and busied himself wrapping a brown piece of paper around his finished piece.
“what?”
she didn’t answer, cryptically singing about knowing things and of a man she would know one day come to know, with hair as white as the peonies in sukuna’s bouquet and eyes brighter than bluebells. it was only five years to the day, when io married that very man she had been singing about, that he realized she had known all along what had been on his mind.
and now, at the tender age of twenty-one, ryomen sukuna wondered when it would be his turn to love.
and be loved in return.
❀᭢᜴꤬
when she was a child, she used to love drawing.
and the thing she loved to draw most was him.
the boy she saw in her dreams. they weren’t very good drawings – just two stick figures holding each other’s circles for hands, one with bright fuchsia hair because that was the closest color she had in her pencil kit. they would be standing in a field of flowers too, though the blooms were just colorful blobs scattered around their stick feet.
“not it!” she’d exclaim, pouting pitifully. “not what he looks like!”
her two best friends, kairo and ari, shuffled through their pencil cases, offering her shade after shade of pink pencils, but she shook her head at them each time. after a while, she would start to wail, despair clutching her little heart in its claws. her friends would put their arms around her, offering her all the trinkets and sweets they had in their pockets, just to see her smile again.
but they couldn’t understand how she really felt, how lonely she was sometimes, because they had already completed their souls.
ari had their kenjaku – their kenny.
and kairo had her suguru.
they had found their souls at such a young age and would never know just how much of the rest of the world felt for most, if not all, of their lives. they always had someone to watch over them. even now, the two twin boys were staring at them, gauging whether they would also burst into tears alongside her, ready to step in and make them smile again.
that was all she wanted, really.
for the pink-haired boy in her dreams to make her smile when she needed it.
as she grew that little bit older, her dream became more vivid. she could remember more details – how the sky was aflame in peach and coral, the sweet smell of the flowers beneath her, and how her boy would land next to her. she could even feel how much it was him that needed to smile.
so she laughed.
and laughed and laughed until he did too.
she wished she could stay there in that dream with him and make him laugh forever.
but she couldn’t do that.
in his sadness, there was strength too – something unyielding, strong enough to bring mountains to their knees. it told her to stay strong, to be like him, to keep her chin up and tell the world that she would live.
so she did.
she went on with her life, making sure to laugh often and well.
she grew up witnessing and being surrounded by love. high school and university presented their own challenges, filled with late-night cramming sessions and caffeine-induced hazes. she watched more and more of the friends find their souls, pairing off in effortless harmony while she lingered on in the stardust of their love.
but she still continued to live.
still kept an eye out for a particular head of pink hair wherever she went.
and now that she was done school, entering the big, bad world of work, her heart longed all the more for the boy from her dreams – who no longer looked like a boy at all.
he was a beautiful man now.
with dark tattoos etched into skin, mysterious lines and circles that perhaps told the story of his life. she wanted to know all about them, if they even meant anything to him at all, and if they were a angry shield to protect himself from people getting too close.
she hoped it wasn’t.
she didn’t want to be one of those left locked out.
“you’ll find him,” jess said encouragingly to her one day, as she was lost in a daydream of pink flower fields.
jess always knew when she was there.
she hummed softly, chewing on the plain cheese sandwhich she’d brought for her lunch break.
“so,” jess began, in an effort to distract her. “any nice plans for your time off?”
“uh, yeah actually. my best friend is getting married, so i’ll be helping her out this week to get everything ready.”
“oh, that sounds really nice!”
then, nanami kento walked into the staff room, his tired eyes brightening at the sight of jess sitting there, happily munching on the lunch he had no doubt prepared for her that morning. her friend sighed wistfully, a fond smile on her face as the blonde man took a seat beside her.
suddenly, there were two and a half souls in the room.
and she couldn’t help but smile, hoping that her time was coming.
it had to be.
❀᭢᜴꤬
“hea, do we have any lilies in the back? i need them.”
sukuna took another quick glance at the behemoth of a man in front of him, who shifted from one foot to the other, his green eyes darting all around the shop.
“urgently.”
“just a sec!”
the shop was silent for a moment, with only the sound of the fan blowing and the soft snip, snip, snip of sukuna trimming zinnia stems. he looked up again at customer, raising an eyebrow at how nervous the poor man looked while waiting.
“we have these white roses here,” sukuna suggested, pointing with his scissors at a small bunch. “in case we don’t have any white lilies.”
the man shook his head. “no, no. they have to be lilies. her name is lily.”
sukuna might have once laughed, but it was the way the man said her name with a hushed sort of reverence – and the tip of a velvet box peeping out from his trousers – that he understood who she really was to him.
so sukuna didn’t laugh.
“it’s really important,” he added, dark locks sticking to his forehead, as if that alone would convince the grumpy florist.
sukuna sighed, setting down his scissors and wiping his hands on his shirt. “i’ll see what i can do for you.”
so he went to the back himself, assembling a bouquet of white lilies, adding white pampas grass for flair and eucalyptus for softness. sukuna spent quite a bit of time on it – more than he probably should have – fluffing and adjusting every petal and leaf until it was absolutely perfect.
it was worth the effort.
the man’s palpable relief was infectious, making the corner of sukuna’s lips twitch upwards.
“keep your money,” he grunted, his nose slightly turned up. “just come back here to get what you need for the wedding.”
the bell at the front door tinkled in farewell as the man left, and sukuna picked up where he left off. there was a bridal party order for tomorrow, and of course, he was in charge of creating the bride’s bouquet.
sukuna always was.
“hea!” he called out. “if you need a hand with the bridesmaids’ bouquets let me know. i’m almost done here.”
the doorbell tinkled.
but he wasn’t looking up.
“i’m good!” hea answered back, her voice faint.
sukuna clicked his tongue disapprovingly, not liking the shade of ribbon he was holding against the peach-colored zinnia in the bouquet. he dipped down behind the counter, arms stretched above him and fingers drumming on the wood as he scanned through the mess of ribbons and other decorations tucked away in small cubicles.
hmph! nothing.
sukuna pushed himself back up.
and there she was.
staring at all the shades of pretty pink zinnias that sukuna had painstakingly displayed the day before.
his heart actually stuttered.
and before he knew it, he had somehow slipped and landed face down on the ground.
“fuck!”
“oh!”
sukuna pushed himself back up, stumbling like a newborn foal, his eyes completely and utterly fixed on her while a poor zinnia lay crushed beneath his foot.
but that didn’t matter in the slightest.
because holy good god, she was looking at him too.
with her pretty lips parted in shock, and her pretty eyes wide and glossy, and her pretty hair looking exactly like it did in his – no, their – dream.
she’s here. she’s here. she’s here.
“i’m here for the bridal flowers for kairo!” she blurted out suddenly.
sukuna inhaled sharply.
what a pretty voice.
“t-that’s– ahem – not due until tomorrow,” he whispered, almost inaudibly.
her eyes widened a fraction more, if that was even possible. then, her features completely relaxed as she tipped her head back and laughed.
and laughed.
sukuna felt like he was back in his dream again.
only it was real this time – more real than anything.
he chuckled lowly, his laughter rising like helium, melding with hers in a gloriously wonderful crescendo.
and all sukuna could think of was.
finally.
i love you, i love you, i love you.
❀᭢᜴꤬
©storiesoflilies 2024, all rights reserved. please do not plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my work on other sites! i only post on ao3 and tumblr.
#SUKIE TRYING TO DRAW THE FLOWERS FROM MEMORY BUT CRUMPLING IT INTO THE TRASH IN FRUSTRATION IS SO HIMMMM 😭#IO’S SOFT CHOCOLATE BROWN EYES WAHHHHH THAT’S SO PRECIOUS <3 ‘soft poetry held within the curl of their petals’ wow#lily how do you think of such beautiful prose??? so many of these lines hold pure POETRY#THE ZINNIA FLOWERS RAHHHHHHHH LOVE AFFECTION EVERLASTING SOULMATISM <333#the sky being a blushing pink & a vibrant peach oh my i could EAT IT UP! sounds so pretty#‘HAIR AS WHITE AS PEONIES & EYES LIKE BLUEBELLS’ OK SO YOU JUST DECIDED TO DROP THE PRETTIEST DESCRIPTION OF SATORU I’VE EVER HEARD???#‘ARI HAD THEIR KENJAKU AND KAIRO HAD HER SUGURU.’ I KNOWWWWWWW THAT’S MF RIGHTTTTTT 🤭🤭🤭#ari we bagged the bad bitch twins 🙂↕️💯#OMG KENNYSUGU WATCHING OVER US… READY TO MAKE US SMILE JUST IN CASE WAHHHHHHHHH#SUGURU MY BELOVED SOULMATE <333 I WISH HE WAS REAL 😭🩷#LILY YOUR HUSBAND BEING TOJI . I AM LOOKING RESPECTFULLY AND ALSO I MAY STEAL YOUR MAN 🤭🤭🤭 YOU CAN’T BLAME ME THOUGH 🙂↕️ toji — GOOBER HUB#*HUBBY 🤭#RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#SUGURU PUT A FUCKING RING ON IT I KNOWWWWWWWW THAT’S RIGHT 🤭 PLEASE THIS IS SO FUCKING CUTE LILY I FUCKING LOVE YOU#omg me and suguru are getting married……… SNIFFLES………..#OMG SUKUNA JUST BEING ENAMORED BY READER <333 just ENTRANCED by her beauty & prettiness & personality WAHHHHH#‘i love you. i love you. i love you.’ THIS IS SO FUCKING SOFT AND SWEET LILY I’M CRYING#omg lily literally thank you SO much for this fic because GENUINELY it’s just brimming w love for sukuna & reader but also your moots :’)#AND I HOPE YOU KNOW HOW APPRECIATIVE WE ALL ARE LIKE THIS IS A LABOR OF LOVE THAT I DON’T TAKE FOR GRANTED!!!!!#i love you so much i’m so honored to be in this fic and also i love you sm bestie :’)#LET’S GO ON A DOUBLE DATE W OUR BAD BITCH HUSBANDS <333 (they’ll fist fight in the parking lot while we eat ice cream inside :3)#I LOVED THIS SO MUCH HEHEHEHEHEHE AND I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU LILY <333 MWAH MWAH MWAHHHHHHHHH#KAISU NATION LIVES ON!#ryomen sukuna x reader#favorites
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bitches always are knocking on my bedroom door and then immediately trying to open it. I HAVENT EVEN GOTTEN TO TELL YOU COME IN OR NOT YET STOP THAT
#like thankfully rn my door is locked bc i just woke up from my nap#so i’m in my Sleep Attire (underwear) and if the door was unlocked i would’ve SCREAMED#but it’s fine it was locked so they’re gonna assume i’m asleep which is totally fine by me i don’t wanna talk to anyone in my house rn thank#u very much xoxoxoxoxo let me wake up first#i hate when they don’t text me after they don’t get in my room too like lmk you tried to come in here and tell me what u wanted bc i want to#knowwwwwww like i am curious of what u thought was important pls and thanks bug usually nobody tells me why they tried coming to see me afte#after* and i’m like okayyyy……..WHY
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this paper is actually annoying
#i knowwwwwww runes i know them don’t make me cite anything it’s all in my mind already#i should have chosen staves or tarot. i’m not as familiar with them
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