#i don’t even use tiktok much but they really made me go on a 10 min tangent abt how wrong they are

[messiahzzz]

i’m growing progressively more irritated with how a good majority of the fandom and overall player base has decided to write gale off as “desperate dude who is immediately in love with the player for merely breathing next to him and can’t take a no.” all due to a launch date bug that has long since been patched. gale loves and feels deeply. and when his budding relationship with tav progresses further, it shows just how deprived of genuine affection he is and how much he craves for it to be returned with the same intensity and dedication, but i wouldn’t ever call him desperate. he has been voluntarily celibate and isolated from society for a long time before he met tav and even when they meet and their relationship slowly develops, he has no intention to immediately jump their bones.

his romance is a slow-burn, that is filled with mutual pining until at least ACT 2, because there are simply too many reasons why it can’t happen before that. gale is also rather adamant regarding his boundaries, if the player decides to pursue a romance with another character while with him, brings up the idea of a poly relationship with halsin or cheats on him with mizora. it’s literally a simple: “these are my boundaries, either you’re with me or not.” he doesn’t stay with them nor is he willing to compromise just to please them. he doesn’t try to deflect how hurt he is either. he explicitly states that he misjudged you and that broken trust is something he’s not willing to tolerate in a relationship.

gale will give his entire heart to you and he wants the same in return.

[bluesidez]

GymRat!Miguel Part 10

content warning: “vague” descriptions of American colleges (iykyk), Winston [Earth-928/ Earth-TRN590] is here with a cool prosthetic arm (he originally has three! so I thought it would be cool to incorporate his robot arm back somehow), suggestive at parts so MINORS BEWARE (although you shouldn’t be looking at this series at all 😒), Miguel is the baby of his friend group, if the Spanish here is wrong please lmk!

word count: 3.8k, proofread so there should be no mistakes (something short and sweet!)

In case you missed it, you can find GR!Miguel’s full SFW + NSFW Alphabet here!

Prev | Next ✩°｡ ⋆⸜ 🎧✮ Masterlist

GymRat!Miguel who has become one with his room. The bed is comfortable, the AC is just right, and more importantly, he can hide here in solitude.

His parents decided to host Gabriel’s graduation party, Gabriel’s college acceptance party, and a Fourth of July party all at once. It was nonstop trips to Sam’s, Party City, and the grocery store.

Gabriel got a full ride to a prestigious art school up north and his parents were using every second of the summer to make time for him.

They didn’t do nearly as much for him when he graduated and got a full ride. Although, Miguel guesses the shiny Range Rover from Tyler parked outside was enough to soothe the old wounds trying to reopen. Plus, Gabriel really deserved it. The chances of getting in were low, but Miguel helped every step of the way and now a bright future in the Big Apple was calling his name.

Still, if his dad called him to cut the grass or season another pack of meat, he might lose it.

GymRat!Miguel who was glad to see you were still enjoying your summer. He was probably the first to watch your stories, like your pictures, and even comment on your little notes.

He hoped it came off as endearing and dedicated because sometimes he worried it was annoying and clingy. He couldn’t help it, though. You’re always on his mind nowadays.

Today you had posted clips of you and your friends at a Boba shop. He could hear your laughter as you zoomed in one of your friends fighting for their life after sucking up a boba ball.

He smiled to himself as he played the video a few more times just to hear you.

GymRat!Miguel who decides to play a Gacha game on his phone to distract his wandering mind.

There was a character he wanted and he wasn’t stopping until he got her.

GymRat!Miguel who three domains, a farming session, several 10-pulls, and a lucky spot later did not get the character he wanted. He was heartbroken, shattered, and inconsolable.

He groaned and flipped over to the wall, choosing a few colorful words to complain.

GymRat!Miguel who’s half-asleep state is interrupted by Gabriel doing their special knock and poking his head inside.

“Whatdoyouwant,” Miguel pushed his face further in his pillow in hopes that it would make him disappear.

“Broski, your friends are here,” Gabriel sang as if he were a white suburban mom with too much time on her hands. “And they bombarded my TikTok stream so if you could please retrieve them, that would be nice.”

Miguel poked his head up, “Are you rating people’s talents again?”

“Even better. I’m being an NPC and making bank!”

“Why don’t you ever play the saxophone or something?”

“Because that’s not what the people want me to do, Miguel. The people want to see me go ‘Lick a lil sum!’ over and over again. They eat it up.”

Miguel squinted at the bright light coming from the hallway, “In a pickle suit?”

Gabriel looked down as much as he could with his constricted movement, only his appendages sticking out of the holes, and looked back to Miguel with gritted teeth.

“If you would have put your Nightwing costume back on, I could have been Robin and we could have made money together. But it seems that you hate me.”

GymRat!Miguel who watches Tempest push the door open further and shuffle around a seething Gabriel.

“I still don’t know why you’re dressed like a Spongebob character,” she laughs at his green tights.

“I’m not Kevin! Stop saying that. There’s no glasses. There’s no crown. There’s no pants!”

Lyla poked her head around him.

“‘Lewser.’”

Gabriel yelled and turned around, waddling back to his room, “I’m not letting the Geek Squad bully me!”

“You say that like you’re not one of us!” Winston shouted after him, shells and beads in his hair clanking together.

“One of us, one of us, ONE OF US!” the trio started to chant at Miguel’s door.

Gabriel just let out incoherent noses until he was able to shut his door.

GymRat!Miguel who feels like hissing when Tempest opens his blinds.

“Please, no more!” he whined into the pillow.

“What’s with you two today? So snappy,” she mumbles.

Winston stood by the door with his hands on his hips, “Have you been in here all day?”

Miguel sits up, “No.”

“You look like it,” Lyla snickers, kicking a bag out of the way.

“We haven’t seen you in like, forever, and you’re acting like you don’t really care,” Tempest pulls up her long, ruffled skirt to plop on the bed next to Miguel. “Are you sick?”

“No.”

“Did someone die?” Winston pulls out Miguel’s gaming chair to take a seat.

“No.”

“Wait!” Lyla’s voice makes everyone jump. “You failed your class for the first time and now your life is ruined.”

“What? No, never.”

GymRat!Miguel who perks up at the sound of the text tone he picked just for you.

“Look!”

“I just found this picture of us”

“We’re working hard 🫡”

“I’m putting in overtime”

“There’s no PTO”

“Only work”

“We get paid in kisses”

“Only kisses?”

“Everything else is a bonus check for being the perfect employee”

"Aka my girlfriend"

“And what does that bonus check look like?”

“Hmmm”

“She looks divine”

“She tastes really sweet too”

“Inside and out”

“What does your bonus check look like?”

“He’s big and hot 😌”

“He looks really nice when I love on him”

“He feels really good”

“Be very lucky you’re not near me rn”

“What?”

“I’m just describing my elite employee!”

“Aka my bf”

“I feel really good?”

“Yeah!”

“You’re my teddy bear”

“….and you also feel good in other places that I won’t be spelling out”

GymRat!Miguel who doesn’t feel Tempest leaning over his shoulder until her voice snaps him back to reality.

“No fucking way you got a girlfriend and didn’t tell anybody.”

She snatches the phone from his hands.

“Temp, give it back!”

“And you’re getting freaky with her while we’re right here!”

“No, I’m not-”

“It says right here ‘she tastes really sweet, inside and out.’ It’s in 4K!” Tempest shoved the phone in Winston’s face who gets the derpiest smile.

“My man!” he reaches his hand out to Miguel to dap him up, ending it in the handshake that only the two of them know. “You finally got a girl and you putting in that work. Let’s. Fucking. Go.”

“At least someone is on my side.”

“I never said I wasn’t on your side. I’m just stuck on the fact that you didn’t tell anyone. No texts, no socials. Just tumbleweed in that big ass head of yours,” Tempest pushed a duck nail against Miguel’s temple. “Like you could have died, and we would have never known.”

“I’m sorry, Temp, it’s been a hectic year.”

“And now it’s summer. We’ve got nothing but time,” she grabbed a pillow to place in her lap. “So get to talking Migster.”

“Yeah, while I can understand waiting to tell us about your girl, this is like, what, the second strike for you? First, no yacht and now this? Aggy,” Winston shook his head.

“All three of you had plans! I checked!”

“And it’s looking like you’ve been with her for almost a year. Wow,” Lyla said from a bean bag on the floor.

Miguel reaches to snatch it from her, teeth gritted in a way that mimicked his brother.

“I never knew you could get so romantic! Maybe scratch the arcade idea off, though. You get way too competitive.”

Tempest hit Miguel with her pillow, “An entire year?”

“Cold-blooded. I should smack you next,” Winston struck his metal arm back like he was getting ready to swing.

Miguel held his hands up, “I’ll finally let you teach me how to play Halo!”

Winston sat back, “2k too, and all is forgiven.”

“Halo and one round of 2k.”

“Deal,” Winston shook Miguel’s hand. “You’ll be hooked once you get the hang of it.”

“God, I hope not,” Lyla mumbled.

“Says the one who yells at children on Roblox,” Winston bit back.

“You don’t hear what those heathens say, I do!”

GymRat!Miguel who is forced to make a short PowerPoint about his past year while his friends help Miguel’s parents set up even more.

“I want a Final-worthy presentation by the time we get back! I even showed you where to get the cute templates,” Tempest fusses from the door before she closes it.

GymRat!Miguel who calls you while they’re gone.

“I mean, if it were me who just found out that my closest friend told me essentially nothing about their partner for that long, I’d be pretty upset too.”

Miguel groans as he leans back in his chair, “That is pretty fucked, isn’t it?��

“But, because I was with you most of the school year, I know that you were just preoccupied with other things. Figuring out college, checking off a lot of adult firsts, making new friends, dealing with family, totally scrambling your way through getting your first girlfriend.”

“Hey…”

You laugh at his annoyed expression and snap a picture, “I’m sure if you just explain things to them, they’ll understand.”

“I hope so. I already promised Winston a game of 2k.”

You scrunched your nose in the cute way that Miguel adored, “I’ll take a gamer, nerdy boyfriend any day. Might draw the line at 2k, I fear.”

“My face doesn’t cancel out the bad connotation?”

“Depends. Will you cancel on me in place of playing with your friends?”

Miguel’s eyes looked to you on his laptop with a frown on his face, “Never. I don’t think I’d do that for anything that can be rescheduled. Did he do that?”

Miguel didn’t want to say his name because it left a bad taste in his mouth.

“More than I’d like to admit, yes.”

“If I ever see him, I might punch him.”

“Miguel.”

“I’m so serious. There hasn’t been one good quality about him yet.”

Only the fact that he was a good stepping stone to get to Miguel, not that he would ever say that out loud.

“He was…nice when I met him.”

“Just nice?”

“He had a cute face!”

Miguel’s frown deepened, “I don’t want to talk about him anymore, actually.”

GymRat!Miguel who finished his PowerPoint with the help of you.

Honestly, you just had to sit pretty in the corner of his monitor.

GymRat!Miguel who was ready to present once his friends got back, each of them sporting a Fanta in their hands.

“Nobody brought me one?”

Tempest made a noise of satisfaction when she took a sip, “A cold one is waiting for you when you finish, buddy.”

Miguel rolled his eyes and set up the PowerPoint.

GymRat!Miguel whose presentation is dragged even further because everyone keeps asking questions.

Section 1: New Experiences

“Only you would attract sorority girls despite the clear baby boy energy radiating off of you,” Tempest said.

“I mean, look at him,” Lyla gestured to Miguel’s body. “We still see our big baby, but that body? That’s what people notice first. We should have prepared him more.”

Miguel’s face fumed as he went to the next slide.

“And only you would make friends with the cafeteria lady. She saw the baby aura,” Tempest quipped.

“L-let’s just move on,” Miguel mumbled.

“You’re on the robotics team!! There’s our Miggy,” Lyla rounds her words like she was talking to a child.

“Guys, Miguel is going to be a tomato if you don’t stop,” Winston chides.

Section 2: Family

“I’ve been waiting on somebody to get that gremlin Kron and you finally got him,” Lyla shook her head with a chuckle.

“I’m sorry about your mom, though. She didn’t really like us too much either when we first started to hang out,” Tempest pulled her knees up to her chin.

“Mind you, I had a mean set of braces, suspenders, and high water pants when we first met,” Winston said.

“Oh my god. Remember when she thought Tempest was tricking Mig into doing her homework?”

“When all I was doing was comparing answers because Miguel was the only one who could keep up with me in that class,” Tempest snickered. “Glad me and Mrs. O’Hara moved past that because I was definitely looking out for you more than she was.”

“Remember when she thought you two were dating?” Winston asked.

Miguel groaned, “That was so fucking embarrassing.”

“You think now I read as a raging lesbian or what?”

Section 3: My Gorgeous Girlfriend Whom Which I Love

“The same guy who lectured me for 10 minutes over not jumping out of a car to hold the door for my girlfriend left his girl at a party?” Winston snickered.

Lyla played with the end of a braid in her hair, “Chivalry is dead.”

“Get all your jokes out now, because we’re going strong,” Miguel waved everyone off as he flipped to the next slide.

“Is that her?” Lyla sat up as much as she could in her sinking seat.

“Yeah,” Miguel’s smile grew at the picture of you from a coffee date on the screen.

“Look at him,” Winston pointed a finger. “He can’t even speak. He’s gone.”

“She’s hot! Nice job Miguel,” Tempest clapped with a giddy smile on her face. “You’re like, lovestruck over there.”

Miguel continued to flip through the several slides he had of you, face sinking further into his palm as he stared at you like he’s never seen you before.

“Does Xina know you have a girlfriend?”

“Woof,” Tempest and Winston said in a low voice simultaneously.

Miguel tilted his head with a confused expression, “What’s with the ‘woof’? Why are you all looking like that? And where is Xina, anyway?”

“She said her parents wanted her to go visit family, so she’s far, far away right now.”

“Did you know she’s transferring to your school?” Lyla asks.

“Why? I thought she was going to an Ivy League somewhere. It was all she talked about.”

Tempest’s eyebrows raised, “Can’t stay at an Ivy League if you fuck up your scholarship.”

"She told me that she didn't like it there," Winston looked confused.

Lyla and Tempest just stared at each other in disbelief.

“If you worked your ass off from starting a non-profit to being the school valedictorian, just to get into one school, would you just up and leave after one school year without finding better options?” Lyla deadpanned.

“Hey, we don’t know what happened. Maybe she really didn’t like it there, guys,” Miguel said.

Lyla and Tempest both gave Miguel twin looks as if telling him to get serious.

“Well, if she’s going to your school, I’m sure you’ll see her at some point. Maybe she’ll tell you,” Winston suggested.

“Yeah, Miguel. She’ll tell you anything if you ask,” Lyla folded her arms with a smile.

“What does that mean?”

“It just means,” Tempest waved her hands around. “She’s enamored by you.”

“Guys. Stop.”

“She’s not lying. Every time we hang out together, she’s always clinging to you,” Winston said.

“It’s been years and she’s never told me anything,” Miguel reached to exit the PowerPoint. What was about to be a 10 minute yap session about you was now turning into something else. “I doubt that if she felt that way, she still feels that way now.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Lyla shrugged.

Tempest nodded her head, “Good on you for being so optimistic.”

Miguel squinted his eyes, “You two are freaking me out.”

GymRat!Miguel who sat with his friend’s words once they dropped him off back home after an impromptu day of fun.

He really needed to get out of the house to reset, but he couldn’t help but to worry about Xina.

He was there when she worked herself to the bone just to even be considered for the top schools. When she got in, she was over the moon.

What could have possibly made her stop now?

GymRat!Miguel who wakes up to sound of his dad laughing and yelling outside of his window.

He dragged himself to the window to see him running around with his brothers with a nerf gun.

It would be a pretty funny sight if it wasn’t 7 in the morning.

GymRat!Miguel who goes through his morning routine of booting Gabriel up, taking his morning run, and eating a hefty breakfast.

He sends you a picture of himself right after he finished the run, sweat dripping down his neck and his skin glowing from the hot sun.

Knowing you were probably still asleep, he doesn’t expect a response until later. So when you call him immediately, he’s filled with surprise.

“Sending thirst traps at ass o’clock is crazy,” you say as soon as the call connects.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“So you just happened to take the perfect picture in the sun with your skin all wet?”

“Are you saying that I’m photogenic?”

You roll your eyes and Miguel laughs, happy to see you.

“Where are you going?” Miguel asks, noticing the fluffy headband you’re wearing that’s holding your hair back.

“We’re going to my aunts house and she lives about two hours away so I got up early to get ready.”

“Bebe, qué hermosa eres.” (Baby, how beautiful you are.)

You pause what you’re doing to turn and stuff your head into a plushie to scream.

“You can’t tell me that,” you say when look back to the camera, fanning your face. “I won’t stay focused.”

“But it’s true. You’re stunning.”

You groan and slide down your chair, “Miguel, please. I need to focus.”

“Ok, ok. You still look amazing.”

“Thank you,” you say, patting the back of your hands against your heated cheeks.

“I wanna kiss you.”

“I’m hanging up.”

Miguel laughs as you bring the phone to your face.

“I wanna kiss you, too,” you say before ending the call.

GymRat!Miguel who blows your phone up with teases after that.

It all shuts up once he sees your outfit of the day.

“You can’t do this to me”

“Baby????”

“This is agony”

GymRat!Miguel who is the loudest when Gabriel makes his grand entrance to the party, graduation cap snug on top of his curls. His family is popping mini confetti and string cannons while his little cousins blow bubbles.

GymRat!Miguel who catches Gabriel at any chance he was idle, snapping picture after picture like a proud parent.

GymRat!Miguel who stacks his plate high full of food to the shock of no one.

GymRat!Miguel who almost gets knocked down by Gabriel when he opens his gift of specialized sheet music. After years of hearing the songs Gabriel would blast through the house, he compiled together a music book with covers done by different artists.

"I'm going to play every single one of these for you," Gabriel says with a geeked-out smile.

"Oh boy."

GymRat!Miguel who watches Gabriel scream as their neighbor's dog runs towards the fireworks that he set on the ground.

Miguel always thought there was nothing going on behind those little eyes.

GymRat!Miguel who feels Gabriel slide next to him in the corner of their backyard. A place where the two of them used to do everything from hide-and-seek to sharing secrets to pretending to be superheroes.

Gabriel leans his on Miguel’s shoulder, eyes watching the small fireworks their cousins bought.

“Mig?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you ever get scared when you left home?”

Miguel was quiet for a second, “At first, I was. I was leaving what I knew, but once I got used to it, it was like a weight off my chest.”

The two sat for a minute, listening to their family sing and laugh.

“I’m really fucking nervous.”

“About leaving?”

“About everything,” Gabriel took a shaky breath. “I’ll be so far away. I won’t know anyone. And you…”

Miguel’s sleeve was wet.

“You won’t be there if I need you.”

Miguel turned and pull Gabriel into a hug, arms tight as he felt Gabriel cry into his shoulder.

“No tengas miedo, Gabri,” Miguel’s voice cracked as he rubbed his brother’s back. “I’ll be a call away, ok? Right there if you need me. I promise.” (Don’t be scared, Gabri.)

"Te voy a extrañar." (I'm going to miss you.)

"Yo también te voy a extrañar." (I'm going to miss you, too.)

After a while of the two calming down and making promises to continue their weekly calls, Gabriel leans up and covers his eyes with his arm.

“I told myself I’d save my tears for the move-in day, but it’s just now hitting me how much I’m going to miss seeing your stupid face.”

Miguel laughed and thumped him across the head, “And I’m going to miss hearing your stupid laugh across the hall. But what did you do when I left?”

Gabriel turned to avoid Miguel’s face, “Ma thought I was dying or something. She kept bringing random shit that I liked to my room for three weeks because ‘Te pareces a Ígor, mijo!’” (You look like Eeyore, mijo!)

Miguel bit his cheek as he ruffled Gabriel’s hair. He still saw the little baby who followed his every move. The baby that laughed hard when he read books with a funny voice. The baby that stood up for him front of their mom when he couldn’t even stand up for himself on the playground.

The kid who stayed up with him to beat some game because their dad wouldn't buy them memory cards for the PlayStation. The kid who tried food once he saw it on Miguel’s plate. The kid who refused to go to summer camps without him.

Here he was, sitting in front of Miguel, getting ready to start a new chapter.

“Oh god, Miguel don’t start crying again. It’s gonna ruin the tour,” Gabriel groaned and dug his head into his arms.

“I’m not, I’m not, I’m sorry,” Miguel hurriedly wiped his cheeks, hot tears filled with his thoughts escaping. “You’re going to kill it in New York. By the time I get there, you’ll be so used to it that it’ll be like breathing air.”

“I hope so,” he sniffles and looks back up. “I need to impress Dana.”

“And there he is,” Miguel shook his head. “I’m sure she’ll be happy to visit.”

“Yeah. I already have some places planned for dates.”

“Smooth. That’s the Miguel in you.”

“Shaddup.”

GymRat!Miguel who calls you closer to midnight.

"How was the party?"

"It was pretty good," Miguel moved to settle further into his bed. "Gabriel was happy."

Hearing the tone in his voice, you pouted, "Are you ok, though?"

"Yeah, I'm just. I'm feeling a lot."

He felt he might cry again, thinking about his little brother in a place all by himself, thinking of his parents being empty nesters, thinking of his feelings from yesterday.

"You want to talk about it?"

Miguel shook his head, "Tomorrow."

"Whenever you're ready, I'll be there."

"Thank you," Miguel smiled. "That means a lot."

GymRat!Miguel who feels better listening to you chatter until you fall asleep. His head isn't filled with so much noise and your voice is like a calm breeze.

He can't wait to see you again.

divider by: @thecutestgrotto 🩵

a/n: I was thinking of this video when I was writing Lyla talking about Kron + that smoking duck gif. I also doubt there are many nerds alive that play 2k, I just wanted Winston to play it lol. Anywho, I was going for a boho-chic vibe when I imagined Tempest (with red locs), a maximalist + art deco vibe with Lyla, and an elevated streetwear style with Winston. Winston also upgraded his prosthetic arm to mimic Link's from Tears of the Kingdom. As for Xina...we'll see! 😗

As always, like, comment, and reblog. Let me know how you feel! 🩵

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[quin-ns]

Can you maybe write something with swiftie!reader?

I thought this sounded so cute and since I saw a couple tiktok edits of JJ to this song, it’s the one I ended up referencing 🥰

Style (JJ Maybank x Reader)

John B realized his mistake the moment he handed you the aux cord, but it was too late. You plugged your phone in and pulled your go-to playlist up.

You were in the passenger seat so it had been something he’d done without thought, but as Taylor Swift’s voice came over the speakers, Kiara leaned between the seats.

“See, now why would you do that?” she questioned John B

“Hey! Her songs are really good,” you argued, looking back at Kiara.

“They are, but you play this one way too much.”

You rolled your eyes at Kie and opened your mouth to speak, but JJ crammed his way to the middle to be able to lean over your seat. The action made you smile, especially when he backed you up.

“Let her play what she wants,” JJ jumped in. “Besides, I like this one. “Style”, right?”

“10 points to JJ!” you cheered overdramatically, mostly just to watch Kie roll her eyes.

You noticed the sly grin appear on JJ’s face right before he asked, “Do I get a prize?”

That look he got when he was only focused on you crossed his face. You loved it.

You grabbed his chin lightly in one hand and pulled him in close enough for you to be able to press a kiss to his lips.

“You guys are gross,” Kie grumbled, moving to sit back in her spot.

“Please don’t make out in front of us,” Pope requested a little uncomfortably, finally making himself known.

“Jeez, Pope,” JJ drawled when the two of you parted. “It was just a kiss, not making out. When we do make out, you’ll know.”

Pope cringed at the implication while you jokingly swatted at your boyfriend.

While you had control of the music, you only played Taylor Swift. You let a variety play out, but went back to “Style” more than once.

At one point when you played it a second time, even though he was sitting behind you, you realized JJ was humming the tune and occasionally muttered out some of the lyrics to himself.

It brought you joy, and that was partially why you ended up playing it yet another time. You knew all the complaints were non-serious, so you didn’t see a problem. Besides, you put up with their music tastes all the time, they could handle it.

Later, when it was just the two of you lounging out in the hammock while the others resided inside the Chateau, JJ brought it up.

He was laying on his back with his arm wrapped around you. You laid mostly on your side next to him, your head on his shoulder.

“Why do you like that song so much?” he wondered, probably realizing he hadn’t asked before.

You knew exactly which one he was talking about. You tilted your head up and found him looking down at you. You smiled to yourself, knowing exactly why.

“Parts of it make me think of you,” you admitted. JJ didn’t say anything, waiting for you to explain. ““James Dean daydream”?” you recited, gauging his reaction. ““Long hair slicked back, white T-shirt”?”

As your luck would have it, to further prove your point, JJ was wearing his favorite white T-shirt. You pinched the fabric between your fingers and that caused him to look down at himself.

JJ’s brows pinched together. “My hair’s not that long.”

You chuckled at how he analyzed the lyrics.

“Long enough,” you replied lightly, shrugging your shoulders in spite of the angle. “And it’s not the whole song, because our relationship isn’t in danger like that—it’s not, right?”

You weren’t asking him genuinely, you had a joking tone that he could easily identify.

“Absolutely not,” JJ still answered with certainty. “You and I are perfect.”

“I second that,” you agreed, snuggling a little closer to him. “But anyway, a few weeks ago I heard it after we hung out and that part…” you trailed off, watching him watch you.

You loved the interest JJ showed as you spoke, even over something as small as a song. It made you feel more listened to and cared about than you ever had before.

“I don’t know, it just made me think of you,” you concluded, not having a more complicated reason like he was expecting.

“It is a pretty good song, and if that means I’m on your mind, then I approve,” JJ beamed.

JJ cupped your face in his hand and leaned down to press his lips to yours. You grinned against his lips before letting your eyes slide shut and kissing him back.

JJ rolled you beneath him, his lips moving against yours with dominance.

You had an afterthought about before in the van when Pope accused the two of you of making out. You hadn’t been before, but you were now. You really hoped this one wouldn’t be interrupted.

The next time you all were in the van, JJ rode passenger since you all took turns for the most part. When John B handed him the aux cord, a smile broke out across your face the same time Kiara rolled her eyes dramatically and Pope sighed when his chosen song came on.

“Seriously, dude? You too?” John B asked, more amused at his friend playing Taylor Swift than annoyed.

When “Style” got to the chorus, JJ looked over the seat. He gave you a smile in return before sitting back down properly.

“What?” he questioned with a shrug, facing John B. “I like this one.”

[inklore]

I saw you post about how people should like to comment on writers work but I slightly sympathise bc some people are embarrassed and/or think that their comment/reblog would be useless. But more people are coming to this app to read a fic like another wattpad or an ‘easier’ ao3 instead of using their acc to post what they like yk

Srry for the rant <333

no need to apologize for the rant it’s always welcome here if it’s done in kind and yours was <3

i get what your saying about people coming to the app thinking it’s like all the other reading platforms but if we’re being honest i’d say ao3 is easier, better selection, plus when someone views your work your ‘hits’ go up and that can sometimes help more people find your work if they go by that / sort the fics on ao3 like that. wattpad literally has the same system of ‘views’ on your work that help boost it, but also commenting there is really big (as someone who was once on wp comments meant everything which is why i don’t get how ppl don’t understand that comments are everything here as well).

you could also say these other platforms make it seem like tumblr works the same way and it doesn’t, but even when writers try to spread the word on that fact not everyone wants to listen or sees it because people don’t rb (which tumblr was made for that let’s not forget).

but on this great app it doesn’t matter how many people view our work, read it silently, press the little heart, no one will see it unless you rb it. and being shy about commenting and thinking comments won’t matter is backwards thinking to me. how do you think writers feel knowing they have 100 notes and 10 of them are rbs and 0 comments? like we know there’s people out there reading our work and not even giving the pointless heart to it and there’s not much we can do about it, and yeah we are so grateful for all of it, but what we wouldn’t give to even have ONE PERSON comment some emojis on our fic. let us know that someone other than ourselves actually liked it. a ‘like’ can mean anything, it can mean nothing. it does nothing. it’s nice, it’s acknowledging, but that’s all it does. it’s a silent compliment that keeps our minds wondering.

if you weren’t embarrassed to read the fic you shouldn’t be embarrassed to comment on it. i’m not trying to sound harsh but it’s 2023, half the population reads fic. devours it. ppl are famous authors because of it now or get ‘tiktok fame’ over liking it. you commenting ‘omg amazing’ or putting two little emojis in a writers comments is only going to make them feel seen. feel great. feel like they’re not just posting stuff on here for bots. so i don’t super sympathize with people who are embarrassed because i just can’t wrap my head around it. but i’m also saying it’s okay and i’ve never once saw a writer get mad over anything someone has commented on their work (unless it’s been mean or a criticism they didn’t ask for or a ‘part two pls’).

if you like something on here reblog it!!!! comment on it!!!!!

[preciadosbass]

11/8/24 [PARAGRAPH 3 & 4!!! — draft from sunday. key & significant photo/s at end]

woke up at 10:20 and made myself breakfast. i ate it outside with boris in the sun and tried my best to be productive while being on my phone [e.g, make a fursona/oc/journal entry etc.] but failed miserably. i just scrolled on tiktok and saved a few videos i could use for outfit inspiration. i went back inside after 30+ minutes, got dressed [skinless shirt, dark cargo jorts + matching bracelets consisting of spiked cuffs and band bracelets, motorbike socks] and looked up a couple can tab bracelet tutorials. i know that i don’t have enough for the particular design i want to make, but i’m getting there. my dad’s sister, my aunt, has multiple pepsis a day and has been collecting can tabs for me.

i went back next door with my sister after giving up on the bracelet for the moment and saying goodbye to boris. when i arrived i just sat on my own while my sister went on the swings. a group of girls my age walked past and laughed at me and after a few minutes i got called over with the other kids to make a keyring. i honestly much preferred that but i think the staff thought i was a part of the actual camp anyways so i don’t think i had much choice either way. i picked out a star shaped template and a blue floral sticker to go on it. i stuck it on, but couldn’t cut around the star completely — so i put it in my bag for another time at home where i can use one of those tiny knives to carve all the imperfections out.

once id done i went back over to the bouncy castle. this time round, only 8 people were allowed on it at a time and this younger girl was being really bratty about it, as in acting like she owned the place, which was odd, because yesterday it was fine and nothing bad happened. but kids are just like that. she kept on going around to people and launching herself onto them, she also decided to boot me over and over again on my bruised shin which was fun 😭. i tried telling her we don’t even know eachother and ive just been sitting there but she didn’t care. she kicked me and almost everyone else off using her sister that was my age so i got off and just sat beside it while people watching.

the same member of staff from the keyrings sat next to me and just exclaimed ‘panic! at the disco?’ — reffering to my panic! band bracelet. i nodded and she started speaking about liking that type of music too. more when she was younger, but she’s still into it, she said. she took out her phone and started asking me if i’ve been to see any live bands. i told her about me seeing the mcr + fall out boy tributes, pierce the veil, cavalera conspiracy, and my upcoming concerts. [slipknot, falling in reverse, possibly the tributes again but idk was its the day before fir]. she started speaking about how she has family in scotland and therefor goes to festivals there a lot and then casually says she’s seen fall out boy 4+ TIMES??? i literally could’ve curled up and died right there and then after hearing that come out of her mouth.

she also spoke to me about seeing slipknot 20 years ago, and then she showed me one of her friends instagram pages. then she came out with that that friend, has another friend, who is the sibling of someone from PIERCE THE VEIL?? WHAT THE FUCK. i was so taken aback but she unfortunately couldn’t remember what their name was because they were told years ago now — and she couldn’t find pictures of them together despite trying as the friend is a concert photographer and it’s importable to sort through the thousands of photos.

i out of interest asked if she’d seen linkin park and she said she did at milton keynes in 2008?? with jayZ?? RAAA. i got told that everyone was leaving in 30 minutes so i stayed speaking to her until people started loading themselves onto their coach and i set off for home. it was really cool speaking to that woman and its a shame i’ll probably never see her again or get to know any more info. although it was awesome meeting someone like me that was quite a lot older. when i got home i fussed boris on the driveway and had a 20 minute nap before leaving for my other aunts house [6pm]. i said goodbye to boris, and on the way to the car, my dad showed me this injured butterfly. it was a shame because it looked so young. i held it and then placed it onto a bush before leaving. [photo at end]

since the concert, i’ve been listening to the setlist on repeat. so i obviously did even more on the way to my aunts, although the drive is really short. once i got there i stayed in the living room for a bit and greeted the family of mine that was there. there was only my grandad, his fiancé, my aunt + uncle, and one of my cousins girlfriends there. that cousin in question is on holiday, the other moved out, and the other also moved out. i didn’t really know what to speak about and my parents sparked a conversation between the others anyway so i went to see what my sister was up to. she was playing fnaf security breach so i watched her.

i had my phone out ready to record her getting jumpscared and i caught a video of her doing exactly that over moondrop. i’m surprised that i’ve never watched anyone play security breach before even though i was really excited when it came out. i don’t usually watch my sister play stuff unless it’s the last of us/the evil within/silent hill at 8:30 i stopped watching jay and went for a walk with my mum, dad, aunt, + grandads fiancé. [+ archie and my aunts dog, charlie.] we couldn’t be too long because charlie has bad diabetes and can’t do much now. we came across one of my aunts friends on our way, she accidentally called me he and didn’t correct herself which made me feel SO euphoric considering i’m not out.

she spoke about lifeguarding or something and once done, we went round to this field i used to always play in as a kid. i went in the park to spark some nostalgia and my dad pushed me on a swing for the first time since i was like 7. we walked for about 40 minutes. once i got back to my aunts i went on pinterest to look at some diys. i saved a photo example of how to make a can tab bracelet, a cardboard minecraft sword, a cardboard coffin shelf, a little fairy/elf house thing made up of pebbles, a cardboard direction sign, a bottlecap tortoise, and a number of other things i dont know how to explain. after i couldnt seem to find anything else, i watched my sister play fnaf a bit more. we had to leave so i stopped and got ready for home at 12.

i don’t really remember what i did when i got home, but it would’ve been the same as always. maybe a small nap, then obviously questions about boris, then i say goodnight to boris. i went to sleep at 3.

🗝️ — boris/my cat, archie/my family’s dog

have a good day/night O_o

[lucifervchatse]

Eye Contact

This is my first Fic post and im still adjusting to the tumblr Layout. (it’s whooping my ass)

Description: You and ony have been dating for a few months. You’ve been taking anti depressants and your mood has been shot.

wk:: idk..

Warnings? Aggressive behavior, semi-Toxicish, short-Smut. fem!Reader who’s black and autistic. cussing .Eye contact. Hair pulling. Cream pie! small age gap. 4 years~ bad communication. Nigga is used. pet names (I’m adding this shit on as i write) doggy style then upward doggy. Ony a sweetie pie yall.

You hated eye contact. It always makes you uncomfortable. Which is so easy to read with you, once you started playing with your locs it’s obvious when you started to play with your hair and pat your head that you’re uncomfortable.

Yet people still demand you to look you in their eye. Your boyfriend Ony understands to a certain point but he likes looking you in the eye. It shows respect he claims, but even still you refuse to stare him in the eye to long. You would at something behind him or at his neck he especially makes you nervous.

You set comfortable on your boyfriends bed as you waited for his arrival. It’s 10:34 you mumble to your self. luckily you have a spare key card so your able to go in and out as you please in cases like this. You heard the door handle rattling singling you that he’s home.

“Hey babe.” You mumble. You didn’t have a attitude. You never really do but he didn’t know that. “What’s wrong with you?” He ask sitting his bag down behind the door and kicked off his shoes,before sitting next to you on the bed. “Nothing, I’m fine” He turn to look at him then looking back on the phone. “Why are you in the dark?” He grab the tv remote from the nightstand beside the table.

You hate it when he mentions you being in the dark. You didn’t mind. You like it more then the light. The light hurts your eyes making you agitated. “I just prefer it. I don’t like the light.” You moved over, now getting annoyed. He mumble something under his breath. Sadly you didn’t catch it still scrolling through tiktok watching some videos about Theories on a current anime you wanted to catch on.

“You know you need to communicate more.” He look over at you. “I do communicate.” you said still locked in your phone. He snatch your phone from your hand.

“See this the shit I be talking about y/n. You don’t even acknowledge me when I’m talking to you!” He gritted through his teeth. You didn’t even care about what he said you just wanted your phone. You reach over him try to get your phone back but he was taller then you. (Nigga like 6’4 Y/n like 5’6) “Bro give me my phone. I’m not playing with you!”

You yelled at him getting up from the bed. You paced around the small room. “Nah, You ain’t getting this shit until you talk.” You stop mid pace to look at him. “And fix your face.” He add you roll your eyes. “Ain’t shit wrong with me. You on dick for real. Hop off.” You ranted. Ony stared at you with a blank face making it even harder for you to even think.

“This the shit i’m talking about. You get so aggravate when I ask you what’s wrong and you start bitching.” He started he grab you by your hands. “I understand it’s hard for you to talk but you have to learn baby..Look at me.” He place his hand on your chin so you can look him in the eyes. “I said it before nothings wrong. You just assume so much! This is just how I talk to people”

Ony nods. He stared as you as you talk causing a little discomfort and since he’s hold your hands you started to bounce your leg. “I’m fine! I pass my pysch exam today! I’m just a little tired I guess but it’s nothing that can’t be fix.” You stop pouted. You sat next to him on the bed and lay you head on his shoulder.

He kiss your forehead. “It’s okay. I know your not use to it but your in a relationship now. it’s hard to read the emotions on your face. We can help each other.” He pulled you on his lap. Now face to face with him it made you uneasy. The eye contact made you feel uncomfortable you shifted on his lap trying to distract him from looking you in the eye.

“Stop moving on my dick ma, Shit ain’t gonna work.” He slapped your ass warning you to stop moving. You pout. You tugged sweatshirt trying to pull it off.

“the only thing your gonna make it up to me if you riding and yo ass don’t have megan knees let me save you the pain..” Once he said that Suddenly you face up ass down.

You was cold. With the cold air hitting your bake body you became sensitive to his small touches.

You use his large hands to spread your pussy apart giving her small butterfly kisses. “You remember the last time we had sex?” You deepen your arch and shook your head. “It was 2 months ago…”

He flick his tongue along the walls of your pussy. Sucking one lip then moving to the other lip. “Shit so fat.” You buck your hips against his mouth craving for more.

Instead he position himself. His tip just pressing again your pussy.

“Imma fuck your dumbass up.” He pushed himself in feeling your walls tighten around his dick. “Fuucck” You moaned out. “Waittt..To much..” You try to move forward but Ony quickly shut that shit down. He pushed you back on. “Where you going? We just started?” He gritted through his teeth. Changing your guy’s current position.

Your back was press against his chest forcing you to arch as your back was firmly press against him. He gripped your arms to your side thrusting into you aggressively. “Tight.Ass.Pussy..” He groan making sure you take every inch. “Slow down!!!!” You whine Ony use one hand to hold your hands in place and the other one to push down against the bulge he was giving you.

You tits was bouncing with each thrust he gave you. Nipples perk up with pure bliss and excitement. Waiting for your release to come.

The knock in your stomach feels like it’s coming undone. “Baby..F-fuck imma cum! So-Slow down!” You gasped out. Throwing your head back staring at his lips. “Hm? You gonna cum? you know where you got to cum on.” his pace fasten. He want to see you become nothing but a mess.

“Wait- Fuck! Oh my god!! Don’t! Fucking!” You couldn’t even form a word. His on grip your waist was tight. It only took a few more thrust before you knot became undone.

“Oh fucccck!!” You moaned out. Eyes shooting open your legs shaking as you cream on his dick. Ony slowly pull out. “There you go baby.” He laid you gently on the bed,placing multiple kissing on your face.

“My sweet girl. That wasn’t so bad was it?” He laid up beside you. getting the covers to put over y’all.

“We’re on the wrong side of tinge bed I can’t sleep.” You turn to look at him. Ony laughed. “girl if you don’t-“

A/N

PLEASE THIS IS MY FIRST FIC THIS FEELS LIKE WATTPAD ALL IVER AGAIN. I can’t figure out how to get the word count but imma round this shit up to 2k And a big thank you to @shahanaazsoumah ! Thank you for supporting and please give me feedback. Next i’m thinking about writing an Drugdealer!Eren x Fem! college student reader 😄. I’m 18 in college yet I still struggle with grammar and spelling I apologize for that im still working on it in college (They KICKING MY ASS) Thabk you for reading!!

[alloveydovey]

Ok, random thoughts on dramas I finished watching this month (some of which I've been dragging out since July).

Meet Yourself (cdrama) 10 ⭐️

It's the first cdrama I've seen that I felt was well-acted and felt genuine. Perhaps because the ML has a personality and isn't simply some stone-cold dude and the FL (who I was obsessed with) is mature and insightful.

It’s very light and yet deeply meaningful. Yes, it could be a little draggy at times (could have been shorter), but I can't really complain because I didn't want it to end. You really find yourself falling in love with the entire town, as well as most secondary characters.

A Time Called You (kdrama) 8

It was really emotional, but I lost interest in episode 9 and wanted it to end. I don’t know if it was because I didn’t fully understand what was going on or because, although I like time travel plots, this one was just too twisty for me to get.

King The Land (kdrama) 8/8.5?

People complaining because it had no plot— what do you mean? The plot was ✨love✨

I mean yeah, I get it, though, because I started it in August and finished it in October (I got low-key bored on episode 11). The .5 is only because Yoona and Jun Ho’s chemistry was insanely good, like the kind of chemistry where you feel like you're intruding on them or something.

My Lovely Liar (kdrama) 7.5

This one was all over my fyp on tiktok, and I'm not sure why everyone was so into it.

I initially started to watch it because of Kim So Hyun. The first eight episodes were okay. I wasn't particularly intrigued by the mystery of who the killer of the ML’s girlfriend was, but it was enough to keep me going. But, later on, I just wasn't into it at aaall. The ML and FL were cute, but i didn’t feel any spark between them :\

Here We Meet Again (cdrama) 8

Another cdrama with good acting 🙌🏽 lol I swear I’m not bashing Chinese dramas, it's just I watched some questionable ones. I wasn’t that much into the whole work thing but, let's be honest, I only saw this one because FL and ML were the cutest and had an insane chemistry.

Why I Dress Up for Love (jdrama) 9

Workaholic social media girl moves into a house with four roommates and ends up having a situationship with one of them.

This is my fourth jdrama (Only Just Married, The Fallen High School Girl and The Crippled Teacher, and A Girl and Three Sweethearts), and it is without a doubt the best one and most likely a future all-time favourite. The obstacles the characters experienced were not too deep, but enough to soften you, and the chemistry was excellent. It was simple, natural and cute. An overall feel good 👌🏽

Destined With You (kdrama) 8.5/9 still not sure lol

Okay, I’ll be honest, this probably doesn’t deserve a 9. That whole extra point is for Rowoon's face and Bo Ah's cuteness.

I feel like the writers of this one got down and began pulling out pieces of paper from a bag full of common clichés that are currently used in dramas. Past lives lovers? Check. Sort of enemies to lovers? Check. Rich ML x Poor orphan FL? Check (although a little twist with the mom being the cutest mother ever) Mean ex girlfriend who can’t get over ML? Check. A culprit dressed all in black who is after the FL? Check. I don’t know what else but I’m sure there’s more… and it should have been boring but somehow they made it work?!?! And I was so into it?!? The comedy was comeding, the chemistry was chemistring, the Samsung phones were samsunging (?), Subway was there, music was banging? Magic was entertaining, even the angsty moments were hitting.

Like yeah, I don’t know. Maybe it was Rowoon and his perfect face or maybe this was a really entertaining and romantic watch. Anyway, a 9.

[i-am-still-bb]

Treat for 22/10:

One of them is a modern witch and an owner of a famous potions recipe blog. The other one is a bit of a fanboy / just trying not to get his eyebrows synged off…

A/N: Originally conceived as an AU of The World Next Door. That had me stuck though. So we have this. But it still has similar elements, age gap, instructor/student dynamic, etc.

—

Fili drummed his fingers on the walnut conference table. One. Finger. At. A. Time. Focusing on how there were pits in the wood and some scratches in the varnish beneath his fingertips.

“Do you have any ideas?”

The silence following the question stretched on a beat too long and Fili knew he was supposed to answer. “Can you rephrase the question?”

“Enrollment numbers are dropping.”

“I’d noticed.”

“We need better student engagement and retention. Do you have any ideas? You are the most junior member of staff.” That last part was a thinly veiled dig and threat.

Fili shrugged, brushing off the words, “We could try putting some stuff on social media, teasers, sneak peeks, behind the scenes stuff. Stories about how potions and other magic sometimes go awry.”

Frowns appeared on the tenured track professors’ faces as soon as the words “social media” had left his mouth. This is why he rarely spoke up during these things. He kept his head down, did his research, lectured, and quickly attended conferences and published. 

Alice, the other young faculty member, specializing in potions that assisted in the growing of plants, clapped her hands. “My students would love something like that,” she grinned. “And I think it would do them good to see us as human, to see that we also make mistakes and singe our eyebrows and armchairs off.”

The department head looked skeptical. “It is an ‘interesting’ idea,” Fili could hear the air quotes around the word. “I think one of you younger people should be in charge. And as Ms. Yu is already assisting the Archives in their project then it should be you, if you don’t mind.

Fili did mind. Very much in fact. 

“It shouldn’t take that much time, maybe an hour a week,” the Head continued. 

And that was how a decade later Fili found himself spending more time on social media (Instagram, TikTok, and the like) promoting the university more broadly and the potions department specifically. 

He had asked for an assistant and was denied. 

It was fun. 

Sometimes. 

But other times he was just answering basic questions, or telling people “NO! ABSOLUTELY DO NOT MIX THOSE THINGS TOGETHER!” and then hoping that they actually listened.

Most of the time he was typing up replies, proofreading, posting, recording response videos, without paying much attention to the usernames that came across his screen. Sometimes there was one that would strike him as particularly ridiculous or clever; he would screenshot it, crop it, and save it to a special folder on his computer. He did the same with responses that made him give up home for humanity. 

But then there was one user, K.O.A.K., who asked questions that often made Fili pause and wonder and sometimes his only response was “I don’t know” even after he did some research and some serious thinking. 

They had a video chain going back at least six months at this point. 

Fili’s videos were well-lit against a carefully chosen background from a tripod; all courtesy of a performing arts student who interned for him for a semester. Really, she had bullied him into letting her do an unpaid internship. She was a double major and she said that the content of his videos were fantastic, but everything else was tragic. 

So now part of Fili’s large office / workspace was permanently set up for filming videos.

K.O.A.K.’s videos were probably worse that Fili’s had started out as. He always held his phone which sometimes made Fili nauseous while the user tossed ingredients into a travel sized cauldron that sat on a stove that had a single burner and plugged into a wall outlet. The wooden table it sat on was scarred from mishaps and frequently littered with ingredients, snacks, dust, and the occasional iced coffee cup of varying fullness. 

K.O.A.K. never showed his face. 

His hands featured in nearly every video. Sometimes his bare feet (which Fili had scolded him for, “What if you spill [insert potion here]? Or it boils over?” K.O.A.K.’s only response had been laughter, and to show off a fairly impressive old scar on his shin from just that thing happening) appeared. 

Fili shared tricks for making a potion that temporarily improved hand dexterity. “Roast the willow root before cutting it into thin 1 inch strips.”

K.O.A.K.  responded with a video demonstrating the differences between his original potion, one following Fili’s tip, and then one where he had added some olive oil to the foil packet before roasting, and then had roughly minced the root. 

Fili amended his notes.

He toyed with the idea of sharing his phone number as they starting talking about more than just tips and tricks for potions. But decided against it. This account operated in an official capacity. And it was probably bad enough that he was carrying on personal conversations through it. 

But he did notice that the twinge of excitement he got when he saw a notification form K.O.A.K. was the same as the one he would get early on in a new relationship. He had more than a little bit of a crush. It was merely academic, or so he told himself. He did not often get to talk about potions with anyone else.

—

Direct Messages between You (Prof.Durin) and K.O.A.K.

You: Why don’t you have a degree in this? You’re better than some of my grad students.

IDK.

You: You should apply to Erebor’s program. 

I don’t think they’d take me. I never took those ridiculous tests.

You: I’ll get them waived.

… I may not have finished secondary school

You: I’ll see what I can do.

—

Fili dismissed the class early. The first day of a new semester was always short. Most of his students were out of their seats and out the door before Fili had finished wiping down the whiteboard. Except for one. He was standing by the lectern, backpack slung over one shoulder.

“Did you have a question?”

The student shook his head. “I just wanted to introduce myself.”

Fili consulted his attendance sheet for a moment, “It’s Killian Oaks, right? If you would prefer something else, I can certainly do that. I just don’t have a note from the college about anything like that for you.”

“It is. But that’s not how you’d know me.”

Fili frowned in thought, one hand splayed over his papers on the desk. There was the niggle in the back of his brain that told him he was missing something.”

“You’d know me as . . .”

--

Taglist: Everything: @silvermoon-scrolls Fili/Kili: @dubhlachen

[tariah23]

Man………… Scrolling by that video of that little girl (she looks at least 9-10 bro) doing a full face of makeup on TikTok talking about her “love life,” and “juicy texts,” um… I feel so unwell rn.

Apparently, her mother manages her TikTok as well… and her comments are full of predators. It just breaks my heart, man. There truly isn’t a place on the internet for children to go on anymore. I mean, there hasn’t been so for a very long time anyway. The last generation to be affected by this are the youth who are in their early 20’s and below, too.

Most people my age did not grow up playing on IPADS and carrying around fancy smart phones (we didn’t have them but also, most parents got their children cellphones for safety reasons or they just got them a track phone and called it a day. As long as you could call your parents and be called back, that’s all that really mattered.) I didn’t get my first phone until much later in my life since I’d always been the kinda person to live off of the grid and didn’t really care to contact others. I still don’t even like being on the phone like that and I’m a slow responder both through text and online DM’s and it’s just always been me. We had a lot of social media back then and the internet was no safer back then than it is now but there were also TONS of websites specifically heard towards children. Disney channel and Cartoon Networks websites back then were really good for kids and had a ton of fun games, as well as educational games, to play. There used to be so many video game websites… bro, I used to be so obsessed with blingee 😭!!! I used to cry to go to the library so that I could watch the Naruto abridged series on the computers there lol. My uncle gave us one of his fat white computers but my brother ended up messing it up so she eventually bought us a brand new one so that we could stop begging to go to the library. Most people didn’t have access to computers outside of going to the library or using them at school. At school, my teachers used to let me get on the internet because I wasn’t misbehaving and the other kids used to be so PISSED lmfao. All I did was watch the Naruto and YYH abridged series, bro. Wait, also anime of course in the classic 3 parts as well as AMVS 😭… no celebrity shit or fandom stuff. Just my interests that any other kid would be interested in. Mom didn’t even monitor our computer time fr but it’s more like we knew what was bad and stuff like that.

We really used to play outside, man. Like, I remember crying to go play outside!!! One time, my sister and I were playing across a giant grassy field with friends and their mother told them that it was time to go into the house since It had gotten dark… I remember feeling sad, not wanting the fun to ever end. I went home and mom was making dinner (macaroni, fried chicken, and potatoes I believe) and my brother had already made it back into the house and I just remembered my mom telling me to go get my sister since it was time to go in. But when I made it back to her, I didn’t tell her at all because again, I didn’t want the fun to end 😭. We ended up playing with some other kids who were playing outside a few houses around the corner facing the street (two little boys who were outside playing on their skates and they were trying to teach my sister and I how to skate lol. It was so fun! Then we saw the flashing lights from the police car about an hour or so later and got nervous and said our goodbyes. We made it back home and my mom had called the police 😭… she was furious and I remember she was about to whoop us by her friend who lived across the street from us somehow managed to calm her down and we were spared lmfao. That was still crazy that we didn’t get in trouble for that knowing how my mom was at the time, omg 😭.

Catch lightning bugs was so fun. Our friends who lived across the field from us had an uncle who used to play with all of us and passed out large jars once and had us catching as many lightning bugs as we could 🥺. Then we let them go whaa…

We used to play made up games with the kids from the neighborhood we barely knew, (one time, my mom through my sister and I a huge birthday party for our 6th b-day and got us a Black Barbie cake. We named the little girl on the cake “Ashley,” and she instantly became a new character in our Jerry springer ass doll play time lol. Literally every kid from the neighborhood showed up even though we didn’t know most of them but it was all so fun, we didn’t even care, man. Our cake was huge and we had a good time running around and getting dirty. I remember our apartment being filled with a gazillion balloons that my mom and her friend at the time, helped blow up together.

Playing at the park (I used to HATE when the big kids would show up because they wouldn’t let us get off of the giant tire and would continue to spin us around like crazy until it was scary 👎🏾.) Going to the candy stores was also fun… (my mom used to also run the most POPULAR candy store in the hood 😭. My siblings and I used to sneak into the snacks that she’d buy in bulk from the warehouse and hope that she didn’t find out before putting them on the shelf before opening up the store. Kids were running in and out of our backdoor (it faced the street and my mom kept the door open all day until she closed the store. All of the snacks were pushed up against the wall on a giant shelf as soon as you walked in. I think my brother’s father stole the self tbh) all day and my little brothers father used to be the one to cook all of the ground beef and warm up the cheese for the kids who I wanted to buy chips with cheese. Fun times)

I’m all over the place but man, I just wished that the world was kinder, especially to children. They’re so sensitive and any fucked up thing can changed the trajectory of their entire lives. And you have awful parents who are so desperate for attention, living vicariously through their little girls and boys, actively putting them in harm’s way for follows, likes, and views. They don’t see their kids as worth protecting, only toy. The sad thing is, these people know exactly what they’re doing by exposing their children to the world. You run your child’s account and see house comments from very obvious predators calling your child sexy and shit. It’s just… :(. I know that not everyone was fortunate enough to have a decent childhood (we were poor as hell but were happy) or parents who loved you enough to not put you in harms way and I am so sorry for that…. because you deserved better. But fuck. It’s so dark, man. It shouldn’t not be normalized to see little girls wearing full face makeup and long nails, trying to look older than what they are. And they don’t even know what they’re doing. They’re just babies, man. They should be playing outside and catching lightning bugs. Getting dirty from playing in the mud and dirt. Playing red light, green light and shit. Not worrying about if their contour is applied correctly. It’s bleak. The parents are getting younger and the grandparents; same boat. There’s no place left on the internet for the youth to be children and in rl, they’re clued to their phone screens and tablets all day. It’s… is it so over? I don’t fucking know, man.

[paperw0rmz]

Complete guide to Flickr and why you should use it

bc I got some things wrong but it’s still a very good website that we should all use instead of Instagram

1: Flickr isn’t tied to Meta or any of that Facebook bullshit, from my knowledge it doesn’t share your contacts so no one will get a notification that you joined, it’s safer that way and more private than Instagram.

2: It’s built for photos. Instagram kills quality of photos, if you’re an artist, especially a digital one, uploading to Flickr would be way better for people to actually see detail and the color.

Going on with this because it’s built for photos, while it can host video, it doesn’t have TikTok/Reels and lives which is soooo nice. Like I don’t hate that stuff, but I like that Flickr isn’t trying to catch on the latest trends.

3: There isn’t likes. Flickr is mainly for sharing and LOOKING at photos. The most interaction you can get one on one is commenting, following, and favoriting. Favoriting is basically the public saves, no one really faves things on there unless it’s a recipe or for a reference or something.

4: Groups. Flickr does have an option for communities to make groups in where you can share similar interests MOST OF THESE ARE DEAD BUT WE CAN BRING THEM BACK!!! (IM BEGGING)

5: The bios are unlimited ( I think ), I copy and pasted the entire Bee Movie script three times along with my own bio that was already in there. I’m always pissed when I have to trim my bio, so bitches who like to put everything in their bio this website is for YOU

6: It’s in chronological order. Everything. You can even look up when certain posts where made by year, month, even fucking day. The archives of Flickr are so fucking fun.

7: Its not a contest. The main reason as to why I fucking hate Instagram (other than they took away chronological order and being able to see the recents under a tag) is that it focuses too much on “#aesthetic” even on the casual Instagram side people are still posing and trying to make an aesthetic of it. Flickr is just for photos you like, which yes can be aesthetic, but it’s mainly for daily life. You will see older people just posting what they are working on, maybe a cat they saw at the store, nothing planned. Just a quick unprompted click.

8: Organization, Flickr let’s you have Albums which is where you can organize all your photos in much like Pinterest. Most do it by year but others do it by topic too.

9: You can upload photos in bulk. You don’t have to upload them one by one, or at a limit of ten, you can upload a FUCK ton of photos at once.

10: if you don’t like ads and want more storage space, the pro version is extremely cheap compared to Netflix. Netflix without ads is fucking $15.49 and Flickr is $8.25 a month. There are also two other payment plans if that’s still too much for you.

11: It allowed adult content. In like. Every form. Enough said

CONS

1: You can’t DM (this is not a con to me and I hate when people complain about this just fucking use a email it is so fun to email people please for the love of god)

2: You can only upload 1,000 images before you run out of space. (You can always delete images later, I personally like to delete images at new years for a fresh start and archive them somewhere else)

3: it’s dead. No one really uses it.

4: to upload your bio you have to use a desktop version of the app.

THANK YOU FOR READING PLEASE SWITCH TO FLICKR AND SHARE THIS SO WE CAN START TO REVIVE OLD PLATFORMS TO SAVE THEM TO REBEL AGAINST META AND THIS NEW AGE OF CREATING SOCIAL MEDIA APPS AND SHIT

[freeuselandonorris]

tagged by @lost-decade tyyy!!

1. Do you make your bed?

yeah! i work from my bedroom so being able to see an unmade bed out of the corner of my eye all day would drive me insane. i just do it as soon as i get up.

2. Favourite number?

27, for no reason other than it’s 3x3x3 and i find that satisfying.

3. What's your job?

project manager in a government department. largely as boring as it sounds although the field i work in currently is pretty interesting.

4. If you could go back to school, would you?

idk. i was very mentally ill for most of my time at high school so i’d kind of like to go back and do it all again because i feel like i missed out on/wasted so much of my time. but i don’t know that it would ever be any less hideous, so probably not.

5. Can you parallel park?

i am the world’s most stereotypical tumblr queer and cannot drive.

6. Do you think aliens are real?

yeah, of course. the universe is massive, no way we’re the only lifeforms! but i don’t think they’ve made it to earth or anything.

7. Can you drive a manual car?

nope, see above. i don’t even know which order the pedals go in, never mind gears.

8. Guilty pleasure?

those ‘that girl aesthetic’ videos on tiktok where the girlies are like. drinking a poppi and doing their skincare and doing their hot girl pilates and watching gilmore girls. it’s a kind of ecstatic adherence to gender norms i find borderline terrifying and yet i could watch them for hours.

9. Tattoos?

yeah, loads. i think 18 at last count?

10. Favourite colour?

for clothes and stuff, black 🤷 otherwise i like those kind of ice cream pastel colours? lilac, peach, pistachio.

11. Favourite type of music?

all sorts really. growing up i was very into metal, hardcore, punk, emo, and i still listen to a fair bit. but most of the time now i listen to hyperpop, hip hop, dance, electronica. anything that gets me hyped rly.

12. Do you like puzzles?

i like the mental challenge aspect but i’m pretty bad at them so i tend to get bored fast.

13. Favourite childhood sport?

to play? absolutely none of them. i love watching it now but i never play them, i’ve got terrible hand-eye coordination.

14. Do you talk to yourself?

all the time internally, but not out loud as much as you’d imagine considering i’ve lived on my own for over 10 years.

15. Tea or coffee?

i like both, but coffee. i recently got a proper espresso machine and i’m obsessed with learning to pull decent espresso shots.

16. First thing you wanted to be when growing up?

the first thing i ever announced i was going to do as a job was “paint plates”, because i did some ceramic painting when i was little and loved it. obviously that hasn’t happened.

17. What movies do you adore?

oh god, loads. my all time favourites are audition, fight club, inception, the devil’s rejects, august underground’s mordum, videodrome… my favourite directors are park chan-wook, takashi miike, david cronenberg, david lynch, julia ducournau, yorgos lanthimos. i used to be a huge movie nerd, especially extreme horror (new french extreme/new french horror, torture porn, faux snuff, j-horror) but i’m pretty out of the loop now sadlyyyy.

no pressure tagging @glasscushion @strawberry-daiquiris @goingxmissing @bright-and-burning @vroombeams @tomsturbotwinks 🫡

[1eos]

Re: your post about the kardashians/bts being pop culture slaughter:

Respectfully, this take makes no sense. Are you basing your idea of BTS on the three english singles they’ve released in their 10 year career? If so, then I can understand how you might come to the “soulless pop” conclusion, but you are leaving out 99.9% of their actual work in saying that, making your point invalid. Also, I severely disagree with you using BTS specifically to make the point about music nowadays being “all about numbers”. A much better example of this would be the rise in tiktok songs which are solely designed to be promoted on tiktok and get 30 second clips played on the platform for views. BTS fans only work so hard for streams because in the beginning, BTS weren’t recognized. They were cut out of performance shows, their performances were blacked out by fans of other groups to make it seem like they were performing to empty audiences, they purposefully trended other artists to make any attempt BTS made at promoting their music unsuccessful, and routinely called into KOREAN award shows to dispute results or argue against them winning anything. This isn’t even taking into account the fact that while BTS have a significant western following and have since the start, they’ve only really gotten tangible recognition from the western music industry recently. Even when they were first becoming popular their main recognition here was by numbers (albums sold leading to their positions on the billboard charts) or solely for online influence because of their fans (top social artist awards) and not to do with their music. Even now a lot of the awards they win in America are based on the fact they’re Korean and not due to their actual music. (i.e. only being nominated in “best k-pop artist” category rather than for anything related to the actual music they put out). 

Also, to your point about cultural appropriation- I want to ask, can you point to specific examples? I’m more than willing to have a dialogue about this issue because it’s obviously nuanced and I’m never going to think I am 100% correct about it but I’d like to hear where you’re coming from. Is it the clothes? Is it because they rap? I’d like to ask what you’d have them do instead. They have routinely paid homage to the black culture they take their musical style from and never shy away from hip hop and raps roots. In fact during their early years they had a whole series about going to LA and learning about hip hop culture from real hip hop legends like Coolio to become further educated on where the style originates. They have an entire song dedicated to them loving hip hop and naming black hip hop artists where they got inspiration and who they admire (it’s called hip hop phile). Would you have them stop rapping or stop making hip hop? Would you have them stop delving into soul? If that’s the case would you have every non-black artist stop making soul or RnB or hip hop music? These are genuine questions. I just don’t understand where you are drawing the line. Where is your line between appropriation and appreciation? Is any non-black artist who delves into these genres only bad if they become famous because of it?

Also take issue with your comment about how no one can sing because they’re fitting into corsets or whatever. Have you listened to actual clips of BTS singing live without backing tracks? Of course everyone has their own opinion but they are FAR from objectively bad singers. (Jungkook actually appeared on the korean version of masked singer and almost won. I understand that’s one member of 7 and he’s the main vocalist but to say they all can’t sing is incorrect, and even though the other vocal members don’t have those accolades they are still quite talented.)

To me your take seems severely misinformed, it seems like you are assuming A LOT about BTS based on your own opinions about “new” k-pop (again, BTS aren’t really “new” and are only a year younger than the group you seem to be a fan of. If a decade old is new then we have very different time barometers. LOL.). It seems like a lot of your take is rooted in the notion that BTS came from a “k-pop factory” (which in itself that idea is a bit. well. it’s not a KIND take to put on the korean pop music industry and singling out BTS while not mentioning any new american pop is crazy to me sorry) when they in fact came from an indie label and the only reason anyone knows who their company is now is BECAUSE of BTS. BTS saved their small company from bankruptcy by singing about themes their target demographic in korea (teenagers at the time, because THEY were teenagers) actually cared about (being pressured by the adults in your life to have a “dream” even though no one knows what they want at that age, the rigid school system present in their country- in general their theme as a debut idol group was essentially “stick it to the man” which isn’t a very mainstream premise and definitely wasn’t back then. no mainstream pop or idol group was singing songs like that.) and created a following and then continued to change and grow their message to speak to their audience as both they and their audience aged. To say they are bad just because they became incredibly popular discredits their artistry and frankly discredits many artists who have found fame. 

now you know damn well i'm not reading this shit 😭😭😭😭😭 DEPLOY THE LOSING GAME

[nonbinarygerard]

this is a rant about AI generated art because I am enraged.

if you want to hear a professional artist speak on AI art more elegantly than me then I highly recommend Steven Zapata’s video. he said everything better than I ever could: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjSxFAGP9Ss&t=5s

the more i learn about AI art the more i literally believe in like 10 years or so we will somehow live in a worst capitalist dystopia where most artistic professional jobs don't exist. You pay a subscription fee to some AI company that just spits out art, movies, comics, novels etc whatever you want on mass, so fast, that art will be personalised to you as in you know how google and other companies track you everywhere on the internet well so will AI companies. they’ll know you more than you know yourself. their algorithms will be fine-tuned just to ur tastes. you won't even need to type in prompts, it will do it for you and show you hundreds, thousands, of art in your feed. You can scroll forever and the algorithm will just make more art. the AI will be so trained to keep ur retention, making ur session time longer and longer and you’ll lose more hours.

Like how many tiktoks do you actually remember? vs how many hours do you stay on the app? do you think the time you spend on tiktok is worthwhile? i use tiktok as an example bc that's only the start of how good AI algorithms can get. give them a few more years with more silicon valley companies competing to be the next big app and they’ll get smart and better in ways you can never imagine.

in the eyes of companies, humans make flaws and humans take too long to make art. it's ripe for automation. companies don't give a fuck about real art and human expression. they only care about profit, profit, profit. what all tech companies want is ur time, your attention, they want to fill all ur waking moments with their products. literally billions of dollars have already been put into AI and though some of the AI art right now might be cringe or just funny, it wont be at some point. In a few months, years, decades, who knows, it will a lot more indistinguishable from human art. that's going to be a problem. you're not going to be able to avoid it because you're not going to be able to what was made by a human and what was made by an AI.

you may think that humans will stop watching or consuming AI art that is bland and seems well AI generated but thats the thing, it will always evolve. In fact companies might just make up fake people to say it was made by and you will never know how much of it was made by humans and how much was made by AI algorithms. if you dont think at some point a bunch of big budget movies, video games, tv shows etc wont be written by AI when it's possible to create a script that doesn't seem like it's written by an AI then you’re crazy.

its going to be a lot harder to make living if you’re not one of the top artists because how the fuck do you compete again AI. you can’t and that’s the point.

its so fitting for evil capitalists that they would rather fund billions of dollars into AI that was designed to replace artists than ever pay artists fair wages.

i dont think people will stop creating art but i do think that a lot of professionals are going to find a hard time keeping their careers without serious changes. you really cant become a master of ur craft without being a professional artist, it just takes that long to gain the experience, knowledge and insight to walk in the footsteps of the masters before. thats what art is. hard work, dedication and discipline. its not something that only a divine few who have the gifts of the gods can do. anyone can become a master artist it just takes devoting ur life to pursue your craft and what a fucking insult it is for billionaires to just fund their extreme amount of money into some goddam shaddy af AI companies to replace professional artists' job, well thats their hope anyway.

this isnt the same like photography was to painting or digital was to traditional. its true that those technological innovations did destroy a lot of jobs but also created new artistic jobs, and they did have massive effects on the industry and i dont want to minimize the number of people who’s careers were destroyed bc of it. But those were massive changes in tools. They didn't actually replace the concept of artists themselves. AI is meant to do as much, if not all, of the artists work for them, so artists don't need to exist in a professional sense.

why would a games company hire concept artists if an AI can come up with hundreds of different concepts in a matter of seconds? maybe human artists might be better but when the AI is good enough a company won't give a shit.

I dont know when this change will happen or how it will occur and how people will react to it but mark my words these AI companies are going to try to make it happen while maintaining the face of just their just simply pushing human progress and this was somehow just a natural evolution of technology.

none of this was natural it was funded by billionaires.

this is not even to mention how these AI’s train on copyrighted artworks with no permission from the artists. and this process is not like how humans learning from other artists, AI’s dont think, they just copy, steal, combine artworks very fast and on mass scale in away no human could ever do. You cant compare how AI’s and how humans learn. there are not the same no matter how big shot programmers try to make them more similar, AI is a machine we could never do what it does. and it is stealing from artists every time it generates art.

I study programming and literally you dont even know the number of jobs there are in AI. its a field that's expanding every day. it's not just a few companies but every big tech company putting massive resources into it. for them, algorithms are the future of humanity.

I am not saying there isn't some actually usefulness in AI created images for example i think getting insane highly specific poses and references at the click of a button is extremely useful but that's just a by-product of what these AI companies want out of their product. they are meant to replace artists' jobs by the click of a button. that's their dream.

AI companies dont care about integrity or intention or the artistic cannon or mastering one’s craft. Companies don’t pour billions of dollars into a technology just for it to be used for meme culture or quirky images. Every time you type in a prompt you are training the AI, its how neural networks work, by releasing them for free to the public you are training the AI for them. and they will train faster than you ever thought. i cant even imagine what the AI images will look like this time next year and they will improve drastically. mark my words.

You are a fool if you dont think AI won’t have a massive and very dystopian effect on society. Capitalism is somehow killing art even more.

maybe you think I’m being dramatic and I hope I am wrong but there is no doubt that AI generated art will change commercial and professional art as we know it.

[sleepyheadscompany]

TW: DID struggles, fear of faking, mention of long inpatient stays

hello!

It’s been a while since i’ve posted anything DID so imma just type I guess.

I’ve been having some of the worst DID imposter syndrome ever and i guess that’s sort of expected for how my system functions.

I discovered my system in 2021 during covid. I was actually in the best place I’d ever been in right before covid. My spiral downward was pretty sharp. My system kicked into action and I wouldn’t really hold front for more than a few days at a time. This would go on for a few months.

I went inpatient for that and similar issues, got out, went in again a few months later and stayed in inpatient mental health treatment for more than 7 months straight and then post hospitalization for exactly a year immediately afterwards. Traumatizing as it was, it made systemhood pretty easy to spot.

I’ve been doing better. My system activity is very much based on necessity. When things are good, my system is pretty much quiet. But once things get bad or I get triggered, things get fuzzy or I might even black out.

Like right now, the last time I remember being triggered and switching was in October/November. (a lot of the time switching happens without me realizing until after i get a date wrong or miss some information) I’m doing pretty normal. It feels too good to be true honestly.

Now. the crux of the issue: was I just faking? Was I just searching for an answer to my problem all those years ago and, like, gaslit myself into believing it? When I first talked to a therapist about DID I didn’t really have social media or know it was a big trend to fake it.

My high school psychology 101 class had a DID unit. That’s how I learned what it was. I didn’t even suspect that’s what it was until a therapist laid out all my symptoms for me and told me I was also severely dissociating. It clicked, I mentioned alters as a possibility, the rest is history.

I feel like my DID is so different to tiktok’s version. (yes, eventually I caved and downloaded tiktok to see what the community was like. I promptly closed out of the app./j) I’m not officially diagnosed, but multiple therapist have referred to what I have as DID. Before that, I never would have actually called it that out of fear. That’s part of it I think.

I’m “medically recognized” is the best way I know to put it. I feel like my experience with systemhood is too different. I don’t have stellar communication with my alters or access to headspace or a little paper that says i’m super extra valid as per a doctor I could never afford on my own.

We don’t have different hand writing or different accents or different IQs as far as I know. There aren’t 100+ of us or even more than 10. I hardly even know what my alters look like?? i mean how do people even know that stuff??? Do they guess???? I can imagine what some look like because they’ve said stuff in passing but i’ve never ‘seen’ them.

I feel all this pressure to pretend like I do have all this stuff because i’m worried someone’s going to harass me if i don’t. Some “your DID isn’t the right super edgy aesthetic” type bs.

ESPECIALLY now that my alters don’t really talk to me now that life is better. Oh and GOD forbid a system have a normal, not agony filled life. I feel more fake than ever bc my DID is ‘wrong’ and it’s not causing me constant immediate distress. I’ve cried and yelled and hurt myself over this disorder. Like ptsd breakdowns with a side of looking in the mirror and not recognizing my own face. But it doesn’t feel good enough.

I’ve ACTUALLY had issues with severe dissociation and derealization and fuge and it’d be really embarrassing for none of it to have been real yk? So i’m worried.

But I guess, in the same vain, I’ve cried and yelled and hurt myself over this disorder. If that’s not real struggle, I’m not sure what is.

-Saturn🪐

[preciadosbass]

3/8/24

woke up at 10 to my dad shaking me, he seemed in so much more of a better mood than the past few days, which is good. i told him about the frank, mikey and gerard sightings [even though i’d already told him about gerards] and we joked for a bit. i don’t really remember what about but it made me feel good. i had my breakfast while showing him a few tiktok’s related to bands i like and stuff. not to mention i obviously cuddled boris the second i saw him. also, saw the RAY TORO PHOTO AAA HES ALIVE

after fussing boris some more i went back to sleep at 11:50 because i felt like my eyes were forcefully being pryed open.. took a while to actually get to sleep because of how hot it is. i eventually did and woke up 2ish. my mum and sister had already left to go out as my sister found out one of her online friends she games with lives close to us. i watched my dad play roblox again and he kept on blaming me whenever he died in natural disasters lmaoo — he played two more games before we went out for a walk to pick blackberries at around 4.

most of the ones i picked i didn’t end up keeping because i’m very particular and i cant eat them if they’re the slightest bit squishy/if the separate berry things that make them up are too big. its really weird. anyway, we’re both terrible at making conversation so we just tended to point out things around us, if that makes sense. like, ‘those ones don’t look ripe’. we were out for 30/40 minutes and when i got back home i cuddled boris. he seems off today, like the weather isn’t too bad and he hasn’t gone out from my knowledge, and he doesn’t seem content when i stroke him. i’m worried about him.

i continued watching a gerard video id started watching yesterday and went out to see boris. my parents were in the kitchen at the same time and i mentioned him seeming off but they said he went outside when i had my nap so that’s reassuring. i didn’t stay out there for long because he wanted to come back in. when i did come in i watched my dad play natural disaster again and had something to eat because just moving my head was making my vision cut out. afterwards i checked on boris and scrolled on mcrblr.

i did ask my mum if we could go on a walk but she said no so i’m still really anxious as i won’t be able to burn off what i’ve eaten. exercising at home just dosent cut it for me. i always get caught and become unmotivated so fast. it’s understandable that she did refuse though, she barely ever does, and she’s been up someone else house all day feeling awkward. i also asked quite late considering how fast it gets dark.

i carried on doing my own thing [looking at various band related posts] up until about 9, nearly ten, when i went upstairs to talk to my dad while waiting for my sister to get to sleep so i could ask the questions about boris. my mum said yesterday that maybe i should include my sister in my routine and ask her a couple questions, so after dad watched me play natural disaster for a while as we waited, i went into her room as i knew she was still awake and did exactly that. she’s almost always really understanding about the whole compulsion thing, although i knows she dosent actually get it because i dont myself, and it’s my issue.

i eventually asked my parents the questions which took longer than i’d anticipated because of how different i think boris has been acting today. cutting the questions down and making them easier to go through makes my compulsions so much worse and sends me into utter panic but i tried my best not to drag it on, although i did. i just love boris so much. after that i went downstairs, had some icy water, brushed my teeth and said goodnight to boris. i brought his food to him so i could make sure he’s eaten and told him in advance about me being out practically the whole day tomorrow.

i hate being away from him, it makes me feel so guilty. plus, being with him just makes me feel so comforted, and hopefully it does the same for him too. i think it might do because for example, our dog is very noisy and he [boris] seems to be calmer when the dog barks if someone’s stroking him. which is another reason why i don’t like being away, i don’t like him being scared, or for him to be feeling anything bad in general. he knows he’s the boss of the dog though, which is good because of their size difference. i went to sleep early at 1:36 because i have to wake up somewhat early in the morning. i feel bad about barely doing anything at all today, but at least ill be productive tomorrow.

have a good day/night -_<

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 24/02/2024 (Dua Lipa, Djo, Calvin Harris/Rag'n'Bone Man)

Guess we know who’s winning the Civil War - Beyoncé’s “TEXAS HOLD ‘EM” usurps Vermont on the throne of the UK Singles Chart. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

It’s kind of calming to have a week where outside of some new entries, of which there are only a handful to begin with. So, as always, we start with the notable dropouts, which are songs exiting the UK Top 75 (what I cover) after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week, we bid adieu to a small selection of songs but some of which are pretty important. Sure, I guess we can say good riddance to “MY EYES” by Travis Scott (featuring uncredited vocals from Justin Vernon of Bon Iver and Sampha) and “Body Moving”  by Eliza Rose and Calvin Harris without much fret, but we also see dropouts from the Barbie soundtrack with both “What Was I Made For?” by Billie Eilish and “Dance the Night” by Dua Lipa leaving, as well as Sam Fender’s “Seventeen Going Under” making yet another exit though I’m sure it’ll be back soon enough.

There isn’t much to speak of in our gains, either. The biggest story is probably our list of returns, since the new documentary, Bob Marley: One Love has people rediscovering the reggae legend’s catalogue. His greatest hits album is at #6 on the albums chart and two of his songs with the Wailers return to the top 75. Both songs peaked in 1980, with “Could You be Loved”, now at #51, peaking at #5 whilst Odyssey’s “Use it Up and Wear it Out” was #1 and “Three Little Birds”, now at #56, only peaking at #17, whilst “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” by The Police was #1. Marley would pass just one year after, of course, and it is pretty poetic to have his grandson in the top 10 right now, but just so this episode has some cool chart history trivia, how about we go through the several times these songs have charted? Different recordings of the two songs released in 1984 and 1985 peaked at #71 and #76 respectively. Joe Cocker’s cover of “Could You be Loved” peaked at #86 in 1997, and as far as I can find, no other covers of either song have charted, which kind of surprises me. After all, the latter was recently covered by Maroon 5, I figured they’d hitch a chart spot on name recognition but nope, not even a child singer Connie Talbot could do it in the talent show boom in the 2000s, so I guess Marley’s original really can’t be replaced.

As for the rest of our gains and returns, “Thank You (Not So Bad)” by way too many people who should know better is back at #73 and “Coal” by Dylan Gossett returns to #61. The gains include last week’s debuts, “Made for Me” by Muni Long and “Birds in the Sky” by NewEra at #48 and #44 respectively, “Lil Boo Thang” by the GOAT Paul Russell at #35 and, despite what the Official Charts Company would want you to believe, “Grey” by Yung Filly is at #33. There was an Aitch remix.

This week’s top 5 is actually pretty notable in terms of some shifting tides. We begin with ACR - search it up - striking Noah Kahan’s “Stick Season” down to #5, and then one of a few big debuts with Dua Lipa at #4 with “Training Season”, followed by gains for some white dudes making big moves: “Lose Control” by Teddy Swims at #3 and “Beautiful Things” by Benson Boone at #2, and finally, of course Queen Bey at the top. Now, we don’t have that wide of an array of new entries, or really, many at all, of which I’m pretty grateful for, so let’s zip through them.

New Entries

#66 - “Soaked” - Shy Smith

Produced by BeatBusta

Alright, I’ll bite… who the Hell is Shy Smith and why did they go with that… uncomfortable cover art? Well, this song is actually from 2021, and I assume through TikTok has gone viral, but this isn’t some indie artist as we typically see, this is a Canadian social media star, which makes this song seem a bit more like a joke. That’s a relief since despite being three years old, it sounds like Ciara made this in 2006 with the glassy synths, blocky Timbaland-esque production and squarrelling synth buzz, that is much more “in” now than it ever has been. Part of me understands completely therefore why this is charting now… but then another part of me doesn’t understand why this is charting at all. There’s really nothing to the stifled groove of the beat and it sounds like it actively strains Shy Smith to try having a personality. It’s so clearly going for semi-goofy seduction, but clawing actual intimacy out of this is as hard a job for me as it would have been for the vocal engineers, so I’m really not understanding this one.

#53 - “Whatever She Wants” - Bryson Tiller

Produced by TylianMTB

I always forget Bryson Tiller exists until he shows back up again, and I mean no offence by that as nothing has given me the impression that he’s not talented or a good person, but not a single song has clicked with me, despite having a lot of respect for his mostly singular lane and pioneering of the trap-soul sound. I can think of people who perhaps want to be Bryson Tiller, but I can’t figure out who Bryson Tiller wants to be other than, well, Bryson Tiller, and even if the music doesn’t resonate, I’m happy with that. Problem here is that he’s obviously trying to be Drake. He’s always been the easiest comparison to make with Tiller, but other than the more Detroit-influenced percussion, which really sounds like a typical trap rhythm with a Detroit choice of sounds more than anything, other than an elegant Orion Sum sample… this is just a Drake song. He goes for Drake flows, Drake melodies, even Drake’s uncomfortable whispery ad-libs. You could argue that the influence is mutual, but it is really difficult for me not to see a Drake fan taking the acapella, running it through a Drake voice AI and making something completely believable. Even the content is a slightly less embarrassing Drake riff, which just shows to me that he may be a unique singer, but not so much a rapper. Tylian’s beat is pretty good on this, I will admit, but I’m compelled by Mr. Tiller enough as a unique presence to care much about this. The train-like way the song keeps to an uptempo chug is actually pretty interesting though, it doesn’t feel like it ever wants to stop and take a breath, and Tiller does contribute to that, he’s not a total dud on his own song. He’s not really improving it either, though.

#19 - “Lovers in a Past Life” - Calvin Harris and Rag’n’Bone Man

Produced by Calvin Harris and watt

The petty part of me wants to say “2018 called” but this collaboration isn’t dated on arrival: Rag’n’Bone Man is another one of those artists I always forget about until they show up and I think this will just be a repeat of what I said about “Giant” all those years ago. He needs a rough layer of grit under him, not this flashy, sugary house track that he sticks out like a sore thumb over. Now it may not be dated on arrival but it is in execution: this is a tropical house song, and whilst Calvin Harris has always been good at mixing and making his stuff sound professional, this actually detracts from the character-void guitar and four-on-the-floor programming that all just feels rote. He even goes for an ATB-like guitar lick in the drop amidst the house pianos that just doesn’t sit well with me. I don’t dislike this - or at least not that much - I’m just confused by how either artist felt the need to make it, because it really does not work.

#11 - “End of Beginning” - Djo

Produced by Adam Thein and Djo

How do I even begin to pronounce that? Is he D-J-O, Duh-Joe, Joe, Sho? Oh, who am I kidding? It doesn’t matter, you know him as Joe Keery from Stranger Things. He was in a psychedelic band for a while but left and has solo work as a musician out now, with this taking from his second album and not actually released as a single, just a breakout solo hit. Is it good? Well, listen… I wish he knew he wanted Steve. The only buzz I had heard about this is that it sounded just like Mr. Lacy’s “Bad Habit” and well, I actively laughed when certain elements of the song came in because they hit nearly exactly the same way as in that song. This is most likely an influence and definitely not worth suing anyone over, but that’s primarily because neither song is any good. The lyrics are largely about his connection to his home city of Chicago as well as the acceleration of his acting career, making a point about how well, he’s still from Chicago! Whatever version you get of him, Chicago’s still in him. Yeah, it’s safe to say it doesn’t have the lyrical intricacies or at least, intriguing moments, that “Bad Habit” does, or even, and it pains me to say this, its sonic depth, so surely I should like this even less? Well, no. Djo Mama’s voice is a lot less pursuant and awkward than Steve Lacy, who also came up with some actual earworms that I respect but never want to hear again, whilst Djo here is just yapping over some synthpop. Which is fine. Have your fun. My opinion doesn’t matter at the end of the day. Just… maybe make acting a priority.

#4 - “Training Season” - Dua Lipa

Produced by Kevin Parker

I wish Dua found an interesting way to be good. This is a great, funky pop song, a worthwhile follow-up to “Houdini” with some excellent atmosphere mostly found in the dynamic mix that I’m sure Mr. Tame Impala had a lot of involvement with. It may not be a psychedelic song by nature, but there are transitory phases that absolutely show he was on the boards for. This feels like a sequel to “Houdini”, if that’s not already the intention, as Dua isn’t being the carefree love-them-and-leave-them anymore, she’s genuinely frustrated that she doesn’t have a more consistent and intimate relationship. She’s sick of being in control in these relationships - if they can be called such - and wants someone to go there, to actually mean something to her and put that effort in. Yet it doesn’t hit as much as I want it to… it may be the replacement of the rubbery bass from “Houdini” with a focus on soaring psychedelic synths and a guitar tone I’m not really big on in the chorus. Maybe it’s just that this funk-pop sound isn’t all that new and in that case, it’s impressive that Dua has made it this far without sounding boring.

Conclusion

With that said, she still obviously gets Best of the Week because good God, this was a mediocre set. Honourable and Dishonourable Mentions would be overly charitable probably, but I am going to give Bryson Tiller some benefit here, specifically because “Whatever She Wants” does have a decent instrumental, whilst Djo takes the Dishonourable Mention for “End of Beginning”, God, even the title is awkward. As for the worst, Shy Smith I think takes this handedly for “Soaked” but… will it even last a second week? I don’t know, it’s easily the least essential and least likely to last song that debuted. As for what’s on the horizon… I don’t know. Thank you for reading, rest in peace to Steve Wright and I’ll see you next week!