#i do wonder which part for her hurts more

[hajimesh]

ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ ‐skyfall. suguru geto

part two. sunset (him)

⥅word c. 2,656

⥅warnings. suguru's pov, heavy angst, main character death, mentions of drinking and smoking, depressed suguru, hurt/comfort (?)

𝄢♭turning page ‐ sleeping at last / let her go ‐ passenger

Suguru will never forget the morning you came back to him. He distinctly remembers it was right after a slow night at the bar, the air felt chiller than usual, and the streets were too quiet. He couldn’t wait to get home, already dreaming of his bed and the leftover pizza from two nights ago.

But the sleep vanished as soon as he saw you sitting by the window.

At first, he thought someone had broken into his place until he realized it was you, which scared him even more than the thought of a thief. As soon as he heard your voice, it was as if he felt everything and nothing all at once—it also made him realize he had started to forget the sound of it without noticing.

It was the sight of your cheeky smile, the little wave as you teased him like you used to, that got him out of his stupor. Suddenly, he was on a high, something he hadn’t felt in months.

Gone was the tiredness from working all night as he ran up the stairs to the apartment while his heart beat wildly against his rib cage. However, nothing could’ve prepared him for the sight that awaited him: sitting by the window, the curtains blew behind you as the sky shone with pinks and lilacs, clouds that looked like cotton floating in it. But even such beautiful scenery couldn’t compare to the sight of you, your beauty or the gentle smile on your face.

“Fuck, I missed you,” he felt his soul come back to his body as soon as he had you in his arms. The feel of your fingers carding through his hair immediately relaxed him, your voice soothing the dull pain that had settled deep in his heart.

He feared his heart would not make it through that morning, your presence and laugh — god, how he had missed your laugh — more than enough of a threat to his battered heart. 

That morning, Suguru Geto came back to life after living like a zombie for three months without you, the pain pushed to the back of his mind as he only focused on loving you.

—

He often wondered if he should quit his job, it messed up with his sleeping schedule and mood. But that bar was where he first met you, he still remembered how you walked up to him to order a round of drinks for your friends, and by the end of the night you had left right after saving your number in his phone.

Somehow, it felt wrong to leave a place that held such beautiful memories.

“You’ll be late for work,” he heard you say, light kisses covering his face as they traveled from his lips to his jaw before focusing on his cheeks.

He could tell it was dark outside, which meant that yes, he was most definitely running late. But he was a prisoner of your kisses, he would be out of his mind to push you away.

“Shower with me.”

Suguru was enraptured the whole time, watching the water dripping down your body as you sang each song that played from the speaker you had in the bathroom. The only thing that could stop you were his lips, kissing you nonstop until he had to physically hold you so you wouldn't fall to your knees. 

At that moment, he felt like he fell in love with you all over again.

He really didn't want to leave, but if you were there with him, then it meant that everything was back to normal. It made sense, right?

“See you at sunrise!”

And when he saw you by the window the next day, and the day after that, suddenly he was looking forward to each morning, hoping to see you sitting by the window where you belonged. 

The world could end tomorrow, and he wouldn’t care. As long as he had you by his side, nothing could ruin his happiness.

The rush hour was at its peak, college kids flooding the small bar on a Friday night—finals were over, so Suguru kind of expected it. After all, it was something he used to do just a few years ago.

He worked as fast as he could, lining up the shot glasses and filling them with liquor so Satoru could take them to the right table. It had become part of their routine, both men realizing that they worked well together after two days of being on the same shift.

Satoru placed his elbows on the counter and leaned forward, squinted eyes staring suspiciously at Suguru.

“You seem… livelier,” he paused, “chirpier?”

Shrugging, Suguru continued pouring drinks, “why wouldn’t I be?”

Still looking at him weirdly, Satoru dropped the subject once the raven-haired handed him another round of drinks, turning on his heel and continuing to work—he could always ask him later.

Meanwhile, Suguru’s mind strayed to your conversation from earlier that day. It had been two weeks since you were back, and it was impossible to get you out of his mind. Before he could stop it, he was smiling at the memory, his heart fluttered at the thought of spending all of your weekends cuddling and watching movies. He hoped that one day, a little version of you both could join the tradition.

At that point, he couldn’t hide his smile.

With a push of his hips, Satoru tried to snap him out of his daydream, signaling with his head to the girl that stood in front of him. 

Suguru stared at her, she seemed familiar, but it wasn’t until she reminded him of her name that he remembered who she was: an old classmate from high school. They had dated briefly during their senior year before he met you.

“I haven't seen you since we graduated,” she smiled at him, “I never thought I would find you here of all places!”

The atmosphere felt awkward, it was as if an elephant sat in the room and everyone could see it but him. He didn’t like that feeling one bit.

“Yeah, I work here.”

The girl hummed and shot Satoru a polite smile, her long nails tapping loudly against the granite.

“I-I was actually wondering if,” she paused, looking bashful as she switched her weight from one heel to the other, “we could go for a cup of coffee one of these days? You know, like, to catch up?”  

Suguru instantly tensed up, “catch up?”

“Yeah! Uhm… like a date?”

He never liked it when people put him on the spot, both Satoru’s and the girl’s eyes set on him as they waited for his answer.

“Sorry, but I have a girlfriend,” he offered her an awkward smile.

Satoru sighed dramatically, wrapping an arm around Suguru’s shoulders and pulling him against his side.

“I don't think she’ll mind,” he winked at Suguru before turning to look at the confused girl, “he’d love to go on a date with you!”

Pushing him away, Suguru looked at him in disgust, “are you out of your mind?”

Both men were too busy staring at the other down to hear the girl excuse herself and leave.

Satoru scoffed, “I should be the one asking you that.”

“The fuck you mean by that!?” Suguru was fuming by now, attracting the interest of a few patrons that happened to witness everything.

“Hey, hey!” a third voice intervened, Nanami placing himself between them, “you two need to calm down.”

Suguru ignored the recently hired waiter, continuing to stare down at his best friend. There was no way he was going to stand there and let him treat you like that. 

“I asked you a question: what the hell was that!?”

“Sorry for trying to get you a date with a cute girl,” Satoru said sarcastically, “one date won’t hurt, and you know it.”

Fed up with his words, Suguru pushed Nanami to the side and stepped closer to whom he had to call his best and closest friend. He had had enough of Satoru’s shit. 

“Disrespect my girl again, and I'll forget you’re like a brother to me.”

With a sneer, Satoru reciprocated the look.

“Suit yourself.”

—

They barely talked again for the rest of the night.

Suguru could feel a migraine coming, the faint palpitations at the back of his head increasing as the minutes passed. All he wanted was his shift to be over, so he could go back to your arms.

He took the trash outside, staying there a few minutes as he leaned against the wall. His lips wrapped around the cigarette as he took a long drag, and unconsciously began to smile once he noticed the sky starting to lighten. 

The sound of the door opening and closing took him out of his daydream.

“Spill,” Satoru stood before him, arms folded in front of his chest with a serious look that Suguru hadn’t seen in weeks, “what’s up with you.”

“I have nothing to say to you.”

“Don’t you dare push me away again,” the white-haired jabbed a finger on his chest, “you were finally recovering, and what? You’re letting her control your life again?”

“I would watch my mouth if I were you,” Suguru warned him, his features hardening again, “and she isn’t controlling anything.”

Groaning, Satoru ran a hand down his face, “when are you going to get it through your thick skull?!” 

“Get what!?”

After stepping on the cigarette, Suguru started making his way inside, getting tired of Satoru’s complaints. Only to stop abruptly once he heard him speak again, his blood turning cold. 

“That your girlfriend is dead.”

Suguru never believed in those weird conspiracy theories that Satoru liked to feed him, and even years later, he still managed to come up with the craziest stories.

He believed there's a rational explanation for everything, not entirely a man of science, but if you could prove what you said, then he had no reason to doubt.

Every rational thought told him it couldn’t be possible, and yet there you were, holding his face between your hands as he heard your voice, and smelled your perfume. 

You were supposed to be gone.

He had to hold back from breaking down as soon as he got home, your silhouette standing by the window as if you truly were there, waiting for him like you always used to. He couldn't bear to see you smile, to hear you talk about a future when you no longer had one. He could barely keep it together when you cupped his face in your hands and made him stare at you, something seemed to have switched in your eyes, and he didn’t like it one bit.

“It’s time to let go, Suguru.”

“I can't,” he whispered in a broken voice, “I don't want to.”

Three months without seeing you, feeling you, there was no way he’d let you slip away from his grasp—not again.

Tears ran down his cheeks, his heart pressing heavily against his chest as he fought the need to crumble down to the floor. He could see your eyes glistening with tears, but your pretty smile remained, giving him all the time he needed to compose himself. 

“I'm so sorry.”

“It wasn't your fault,” you whispered, rubbing your thumbs against his cheekbones, trying and failing to stop the tears, “I could never blame you, I never did.”

Unwanted memories from that day swarmed his mind: the loud screech of tires against the pavement, your body next to his, the sight of your beautiful face covered in cuts and bruises mocking the peaceful look in it. The memory haunted him for months.

What was once the face of an angel, as he liked to call you, twisted into a gruesome memory.

If only he hadn’t convinced you to accompany him to the party, or if he had paid more attention to the road so he could’ve avoided the drunk driver that hit the car as he drove home. You’d still be there, with him, holding him just as you were doing right at that moment.

“I'm going insane,” he sniffled, resting his forehead against yours, “aren’t I?”

“No, no, you’re not. But you aren’t taking care of yourself,” you kept smiling through your tears, your voice gentle as if you were talking to a child, “you either sleep too little or too much, and you haven’t been attending your lectures.”

Rocking you side to side, he dismissed your comment with a nonchalant hum, “but I’m happy now, isn’t that what you want? Just… stay? Please?”

The lack of words on your part was his answer.

“Will I see you again?” 

“Of course,” your smile broadened, “even if the skies fall, or a huge wave takes over the city, you’ll never get rid of me.”

Suguru’s hold tightened, your face hiding in his chest as you both tried to calm yourselves down. He didn’t dare to close his eyes, wanting to see your face for as long as he could. And even with tears clogging up your eyelashes and wobbly lips, you were still as gorgeous as he remembered.

“You’re my sunrise, and I'm your sunset,” he whispered in your ear, “never forget that.”

Not like you could. You had found your very own sunset, only yours to love and admire.

“I would never.”

Even with puffy eyes and tears wetting your cheeks, Suguru still thought you were the most beautiful woman that ever walked the earth. He helped you wipe your tears, watching you sniffle and laugh right after.

“Baby?” you spoke after a few minutes of silence and holding each other, basking in his warmth until it made you sleepy. 

His lips kissed the crown of your hair while his fingers combed it away from your face, admiring your face with love brimming from his eyes, “hm?”

A lump blocked your throat, tears welling up in your eyes before quickly cascading down your cheeks as you ingrained his face into your memory.     

“Look for me in the sky, I promise I'll be there.”

Suguru never saw you again after that day.

It was as if the grief took over his life all over again, the sorrow suffocating him with each breath he took. His body and soul crumpled even lower than the first time, however, with each passing week, the heaviness in his heart became lighter.

It took him a while to open up to Satoru, and when he finally did, the tears were unstoppable from both sides. Satoru felt for his friend and you, you two had had a close bond too after all, and after seeing Suguru shattered after your loss, he knew he had to be his rock.

There wasn’t a place in the city that didn’t have your name, filled with memories of your dates as Suguru and you explored the world together. But it was time to turn the page, with your memory inked on the corner of it and in Suguru’s soul.

He would never be able to forget you, and he didn’t want to.

Sitting by the window, Suguru took a look at the late spring afternoon. Living in a world without you would always be painful, which is why he found himself staring at it from your eyes. That window was your spot; he would always find you there before the sun was up, and right before it disappeared behind the horizon, waving him goodbye as he drove away to work.

The usual bustle of the streets quieted down for a moment, it was as if the world went still. Orange tinted the sky as usual, only this time, hues of blue and lilac blended across it, the wind cold and refreshing as it blew against his warm skin.

Suguru peered up at the skies with a nostalgic smile, a wave of peacefulness making its way into his heart.

“There you are, my love.”

[bloatedandalone04]

Bets & Bargains - Part 12

Series Masterlist

➪in which you ask for space, and bradley reluctantly gives it to you, but that doesn’t stop him from sending one last (and kind of desperate) text.

PSA: strongly suggested to read the warnings before proceeding.

WC; 3.4k | Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

The second Bradley saw you, his entire body tensed up, because he knew what this looked like. His ex was damn near naked in his bed, and he had just left the bathroom and looked like he just woke up.

Of fucking course it looked bad. 

But nothing happened, and he knew that, but you did not. And you didn’t even give him the chance to say that before you were turning around and practically running out his bedroom door. “Baby,” he called after you and was instantly crossing the room as he glared at Briana. “Get the fuck up and go, alright? I mean it.” Was all he said to her before he quickly followed after you. 

You were smaller than him, and probably pissed off beyond words, so you were a lot faster than normal. When he passed through his doorframe, you were already out the front door, and he had to run down the stairs to be able to catch up with you. 

“Y/n!” He called your name, but you weren’t answering him. You bolted down the front steps and began speed walking down the sidewalk, and Bradley briefly wondered how you could possibly move that fast with such short legs since he was having a hard time closing the distance. 

Just as you reached out and tossed the takeout bag you were holding into the trash can, he was finally given the chance to reach out to you.

His hand wrapped around your wrist, his grip gentle but firm as he turned you to face him. “Please, please, listen to me okay? Please, what you saw, that was-”

“I don’t want to hear it, Bradley,” you cut him off and pulled your hand away from him so quickly, he didn’t have time to tighten his grip before you broke the contact. “I don’t, alright? Just…please.”

Bradley furrowed his brows and shook his head. He needed to make it known that what you saw wasn’t at all what it looked like, even though that was the oldest excuse in the oldest fucking book on earth. “No, baby, just listen, please,”

“I don’t want to,” you quickly say and step away from him. “I just saw your ex in your bed, Bradley. I don’t want to be anywhere near you right now, okay?”

Your words hurt him more than he thought they would, but he still didn’t let you get too far before he was trying to close the distance again. You were the best thing in his life right now, the last thing he wanted to do was fuck that up because of a misunderstanding. “Babes, just stop for a second, okay?” He begged, trying and failing to get you to meet his eyes. “It isn’t what it looks like, alright? And I know, I know, everyone says that, but I mean it.”

“Bradley, please,” you said quietly and he didn’t even need to see your eyes to know that you were crying, and he felt like the biggest asshole in the entire world right now. “Let’s not do this, please. I think…I think maybe we rushed into this.”

That literally left him speechless, because to him it couldn’t be further from the truth. Maybe he rushed into it at the beginning, but everything felt like it was going at the perfect pace to him. And he knew it was the same for you, he could tell. You were lying to him right now in an attempt to protect yourself from him, and that left him with the worst feeling settling in his bones. 

“Y/n, please,” he tried again but you just shook your head. 

“Maybe you’re not fully over Briana, and…and maybe I’m not over Luke. Why else would your ex be in your bed, Bradley? Maybe we just need some time away from each other to figure things out,” you whispered and wiped your eyes. “Can you give me that? Please?”

He didn’t want to give you that. Fuck, he really did not want to give you that. He wanted to beg you some more and fully explain what you saw in his bedroom, but the look you were giving him told him that you were so close to breaking down, and he didn’t want to push you to that point. 

So he nodded slowly, his hand aching to reach out and grab yours as he asked, “Can I call you later? Or…or text you?”

You looked up at him and finally let him see your pretty eyes, then your gaze drifted behind him, and his heart fell even more. He didn’t need to turn around to know what you were looking at as you shook your head. “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea,”

Then you were turning away and fleeing down the sidewalk towards the other side of campus before he could get another word out. “I’m sorry,” he called out pathetically after you, but you ignored him until you were out of his sight. 

Bradley turned and saw Briana swaying on her feet on the steps of his house, her shirt and skirt back on and her heels in her hand. “She ran off quickly,” she laughed as she stumbled onto the sidewalk. “I didn’t even get to formally introduce myself.”

He rolled his eyes and pushed past her as he stepped back into his house and went to slam the door behind him, but her hand stopped it from fully closing.

“Wait, aren’t you going to drive me back to that frat house so I can find my bag?” She asked as if she didn’t just single handedly ruin his relationship with you. 

Bradley’s gaze hardened as he glared at her. “Why the fuck,” he started and she quickly stepped away before he could finish his question and began walking down the sidewalk, not even bothering to put her heels back on.  

“Alright, Brad,” she laughed again, winking back at him. “But since you’re single again, maybe you and I can reconnect and-”

Bradley didn’t even want to hear the rest of that as he slammed the door shut behind him and went back up to his room. Briana had left his sheets sprawled all over his bed, and her mascara was on his pillow, and he wished he could go back to Saturday night when you and he were so fucking happy.

When he stepped forward, his foot touched something soft, and he looked down to see his jersey on the floor, right where you had dropped it before running out of his room. He reached for it, and when he lifted it up, a wave of coconut and rose filled his senses, the same exact scent his bed smelled like before Briana tainted it with the stench of booze.

Now he was miserable as he plugged his phone in and tore apart his bedding, shoving the alcohol smelling sheets into the washing machine down the hall. When he got back to his room, he fell onto his bed that no longer smelled like you, and grabbed his still charging phone. The single text that was sent nearly forty minutes ago made him feel even worse. 

Babes🩷: I miss you, flyboy. Breakfast? On me 😚❤️ 

-

You were a mess when you got back to your dorm.

Your eyes were sore from holding back the tears in public, but as soon as you entered your house, they poured down your face

You felt so stupid and embarrassed. Briana was fucking stunning, you knew that from all the photos you deleted of her on Bradley’s phone as he went down on you. At the time, that was one of the hottest experiences of your life, but now you just felt fucking dumb.

She was beautiful, of course she managed to push her way back into Bradley’s heart and bed as soon as you left. 

You were literally speechless as you leaned back against the door, and the sound of footsteps coming down the hall made you cringe, because you knew Sam was going to have a field day with this one. “Hey,” she said flatly as she crossed her arms. “What’s the matter with you?”

“Not now, Sam,” you mumbled, wiping at your ruined makeup as you crossed the living room in an attempt to hide in your room until you had to go to class. 

Of course that wasn’t going to happen as Sam reached out and grabbed your wrist. “Hey,” she said again, turning you to face her. “What happened? Wait, let me guess.”

She almost sounded excited now and you squeezed your eyes shut as you felt another wave of embarrassment wash over you, because you were about to get brutally ripped into. You defended Bradley when she called him a rebound, and you were so convinced that you had a real thing going on with him, and it totally blew up in your face. Oh yeah, she was going to have a fucking blast making fun of you about this. 

“Your ‘boyfriend’, aka your rebound, turned out to be just that. A rebound,” she started, pulling her hand away from you as she laughed. “And now you’re crying because you thought he was actually into you when all he wanted was an easy lay in a newly single girl.”

The words leaving her mouth were cruel and awful and had you questioning how she was ever your friend in the first place. She really hid this side of her well, you guessed. “Sam-”

“And to think you ended things with my brother, who was waiting for you to get your shit together and get back with him, only for you to dump him,” she let out another humorless laugh and crossed her arms. “And here you are, crying over the guy you chose over him, the one who never actually wanted you in the first place. Am I close with this?”

You sniffled and glared at your roommate as best as you could, but you probably just looked even more pathetic. “You know, Sam, you’re supposed to be my friend,” you say, your voice a bit hoarse from all the crying you’ve done since you got home. “You’re supposed to be comforting me and supporting me, but you’re just making me feel worse, and for what? Because I broke up with your brother months ago, and it only just clicked for you now? You’re fucking mean, Sam, and I’m not going to stand here and listen to this anymore.”

Sam opened her mouth to respond, but you just turned on your heel and speed walked down the hall until you reached your room, and you quickly opened then slammed the door as more tears fell down your face. 

After the sight you walked into at Bradley’s place, and now with your ex friend, you felt exhausted and worn out, despite it only being nine thirty in the morning. Sam pissed you off, and you wondered if this was how Bradley felt after Eli’s interruption of your heated makeout session on the couch. And then you started thinking about Bradley again and how happy you were yesterday. And now you were sobbing harder.

You dropped your school bag onto the floor before stepping further into your room, and soon enough, your eyes landed on Bradley’s flannel he gave you the day after he asked you to be his girlfriend. 

You knew you should throw it out the window or maybe set it on fire, but instead you walked over to it and ran your fingers over the blue and white fabric. The first time you saw the shirt was when he was wearing it as he made you dinner, then asked you to be official. Then you asked him to bring it to you the next day so you could keep it, and you shamelessly wore it around your room pretty often. 

It still smelled like him when you brought it up to your nose, and you felt like you were going to be sick as a swarm of emotions hit you hard. 

Anger. Embarrassment. Sadness. Longing. 

You already missed him, even though it was clear he didn’t miss you.

You hadn’t even been away from him for more than sixteen hours before he had another girl in his fucking bed, his ex no less, and you wondered how many others there were that you were so blind to. 

Thinking that Bradley had a handful of girls coming over to his place after you left was a hard thing to think about, and you really wanted to believe that it wasn’t true. He was so sweet to you, made you feel adored and seen. He was the best boyfriend you had ever had, even though it was short lived. You didn’t want to believe that he was actually a terrible guy. The person you saw when you were with him wasn’t like that, but what choice did you have after seeing what you did?

He didn’t even try to get you to stay with him, even though you practically begged him to leave you alone. But still, you were hurt. 

Your mind was filled with the worst thoughts, and you forced yourself to believe that the only reason he sounded so upset was because he was caught, not because it was one massive misunderstanding. 

-

Bradley was pretty much useless in class as he stared at the wall the whole time.

He was pissed off at Briana and himself for not fighting harder for you on the sidewalk this morning, but you were so sad and certain, he didn’t want to make you feel even worse. So he stupidly and regretfully let you walk away without even mentioning the fact that he did not sleep with his ex, let alone intentionally allow her to spend the night in his bed. 

He wanted to spam you with texts, but you asked him for space, and even though he didn’t want any space from you, he respected you too much to go out of his way to deny your wishes. 

You wanted a break, or a full on break up, and he didn’t want that at all. You already meant so much to him in such a short amount of time, he was scared he wouldn’t be able to get over you for a long time if you were to clarify that you and he were no longer together. You hadn’t said that yet, but he had a strong feeling that it was coming soon.  

He didn’t want to break up. The weeks he’s spent with you have been the best he’s ever had since starting University, and he didn’t want to give that up. It was too soon, he hadn’t had you for nearly as long as he wanted to. It was too soon. 

Once class was over, Bradley was walking back to his place when Eli and Wes spotted him across the campus and began making their way over. “Fuck,” he muttered, closing his eyes tightly as he stopped walking and waited for them to reach him. “What?”

“Ouch,” Eli laughed, nudging Bradley’s side in a way that made Bradley want to rip his arm off. “Rude way to greet your friends, dude.”

“Yeah, man, lighten up,” Wes agreed. “What’s up with you?”

Bradley huffed and rubbed at his eyes before letting his arm drop down to his side. “Y/n and I got into something today,” he answered as simply as he could, because he didn’t want either of these guys knowing his business.

“Damn,” Eli mumbled, “And here I thought you two looked inseparable this weekend.”

Wes furrowed his brows and looked between Eli and Bradley. “Wait what?”

“Yeah, dude,” Eli laughed again. “That chick was all over our boy here, and he was pretty much all over her, too. What happened, Brad?” He asked once he looked back at Bradley. 

He was not about to tell them about Briana, but he didn’t need to, because a fourth guy joined in on the conversation, and Bradley briefly remembered him from the night at the party he met you at. What was his name? Jackson? “Hey,” the guy grunted as he stepped into Bradley’s space. “You just had to take her back, huh?”

Bradley furrowed his brows as he looked at the guy whose name he couldn’t remember. “What?”

“Briana,” the guy said, and it clicked. This was Jensen, the dude Briana was all over in the kitchen at the party. The dude who helped motivate Bradley to make that dumb fucking bet. “I asked her to come over last night, but she told me she was going to see you. Said she was going to get you back or some shit.”

Eli and Wes, of course, perked up at that, but Bradley was confused. “What?” he asked again, gripping his bag strap as he looked at Jensen. “Briana was at a party last night.”

“Yeah, and she said you were there with her,” Jensen scoffed as he pushed his finger against Bradley’s chest. “You already had her, man, you couldn’t let me try her out? You just had to get back with her, huh?”

Eli let out a low whistle as Bradley shook his head, even more confused now. “What the hell are you talking about? I didn’t get back with her, dude, I already have a girlfriend,”

“Had,” Wes corrected and Bradley glared at him before turning back to Jensen and pushing his hand away. 

“I didn’t get back with her, alright? I picked her up from a party and let her crash at my place. That’s it,” he said and held his bag strap a bit tighter. “I don’t know what exactly she told you, but I’m not interested in her anymore, okay? We’re done.”

Jensen gave him a look that showed his disbelief, but Bradley honestly didn’t care about this conversation anymore. He just wanted to go back home, maybe send you a quick text, and finish making his bed so he can lie in it for the rest of the day. 

“Look, she’s all yours,” he mumbled. “Though you might want to rethink the way you talk about girls. It’s probably why she dumped you.”

Eli snickered then he and Wes quickly followed after Bradley as he walked away from Briana’s other ex. “Dude, you didn’t tell me Bri slept over last night,”

“Yeah,” Wes chimed in. “Looks like we owe you some money.”

“No, you don’t,” Bradley quickly said and stopped walking to turn and face the two. “How many times do I have to tell you that the bet is off, and how it was never really on in the first place? Y/n and I are…fine, okay? We’re gonna work things out.”

“Uh huh, that’s what you said about Bri,” Eli grunted, then quickly put his hands up when Bradley gave him a look of warning. “Anyway, party tomorrow? I have a guy coming over to deliver a bunch of beer.”

A party on a Tuesday night? What the hell was wrong with these guys?

Before Bradley could turn down the idea, Eli added, “You can invite Bri,” he grinned with a raise of his brows. “Maybe you two can get back together for real.”

“Yeah,” Wes agreed, “Really piss off that fucking guy back there.” He gestured towards Jensen, but Bradley was already forming an idea in his head.

Maybe the party was a good idea…but not because he wanted to invite Briana, fuck that…but maybe you’d come? You came to his last one, even though you got ditched early on, you told him that he saved you that night by coming up and talking to you.  

Yeah, you were very clearly pissed at him right now, rightfully so, but there’s a possibility you may come, and Bradley would be fucking dumb to not take it. He hoped you would see it as an opportunity to scream at him for doing something that he didn’t actually do, then he could bring up the fact that you’re completely out of your mind if you think he would ever cheat on you. Let alone with Briana fucking Prescot. 

So Bradley walked home with Eli and Wes, and he immediately went up to his room. He tossed his bag onto the bed and pulled out his phone, clicking on your contact. After looking at the cute picture he set for you that was taken the same night he asked you to be his girlfriend, he began typing out a text, and he hoped he didn’t sound too desperate, but he kind of was.

[jazeswhbhaven]

An Unsightly Guy | React | Spoilers

It's Day 7 and 8 lovelies!!! And boy do we have some great content ahead especially in day 8 lol

It seems though the momentum on this event has slowed down and I think it's mostly due to the fact that it's so drawn out and so far there's nothing really "exciting" happening.

But that seems to be the case with these events like the hype is high the first two to three days and after it's like s p l o o t.

I think if this was a Amy only event and the card had an adore mode people would be more excited about it.

But that's just my ramblings forgive me.

So we're back with Sitri being on his BS when seeing Amy at any given moment lol But before this they were just staring at each other quietly again like my favorite gif that ya'll often see.

but if i'm being honestly Sitri and I have the same brain cell here because I can't stand other's hot ass breath on me even if it doesn't smell bad because why??? are??? you this damn close???

So Amy ofc tells Sitri that he's breathing like that because he's hurt. Fair but this man don't give a shit lol

He goes over to him to access the damage I assume because it turns out even though the forest is torn up there's more angel bodies dead than devil bodies. They remained victorious.

I love how Amy's subordinates are always worried about him and it shows solidarity for their leader. But yeah Sitri also has this thing about him where he shows care for everyone else except the person he dislikes this being Amy.

That's from him being up in Hades. I swear to ya'll it is. That snooty ass attitude rubbed off so badly Sitri can't help but reflect that back into the universe

STOP

the height difference, how the sprites are close to each other, Amy being a foul mouth demon that he is...I really can't get away from my cxc ship bullshit ever when they do things like this lol

I do however like that Amy is a punk. Just mouthing off and cursing any time he can.

that's why Astra likes to provoke him too

But Sitri just simply tells him to stop bitching because the pain is proof that he's alive. So Amy takes this opportunity to one up on this moment because of what happened a few days ago

first of all, Amy is adorable. I just wanna tap his booba and tell him he's doing great.

Sitri gets pissed off though because it's the exact same thing he told him when he arrived a few days back when he had to save that devil boy from his commando unit. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he had this one coming. An eye for an eye basically and Amy came and showed out.

So a couple things about this.

Remember what they said about him here, not usually being foul-mouthed and foul-tempered for a bit. You'll see where I'm getting at later.

Second. This is the pronoun thing I was referring to, which now has me thinking that maybe Sitri didn't mean "her" on day 6 and that was possibly just a mistake on the translating/writing part.

Though I am still wondering what incident caused him to be very angry back then where he had to smack himself back to reality to keep from focusing on it.

And while this little interaction is going on, the devils around them are gossiping about how Sitri and Amy always found time to fight each other even in situations like this.

But I think they forgot the part where Sitri can fucking hear them lmaooo because he was quietly stewing in annoyance by the entire thing, so much he had to think about when he and Amy first met.

So this was centuries ago, and it's wild because I'm like wait it's been that long for them holy shit my life is fleeting because to me a decade blinking by is so long.

A bit of lore about Satan btw, this was a time where he barely had an army, so it must have been he first came into power as a king. (we really need that backstory honestly) And went around scouting for willing participants even neighboring countries.

They also bring up that devils who saw him traveling around decided to join because they loved his energy.

When I think about this it's wild that Satan had to foot for his own army. This leads me to believe Gehenna was low due to the amount of deaths, or perhaps something happened with the previous king that caused this.

Either way, the babes did his thing and now he's got more than enough helping him during the battles. Picturing him recruiting folks though is cute because I imagine he's a great motivational speaker or just "hey join me btw" and it just works.

So the instructors didn't even notice Sitri because well in their defense they hadn't seen him yet. So of course they see this pretty, "slender" looking devil show up with his hair all nice and pushed back and is just like "aye so???"

He introduces himself and then that's when everyone starts acting accordingly and seeing him as a superior. But I mean that's why he was nice about it anyway because to him, they should be wary of someone they hadn't seen before and Gehenna needs that type of energy.

So now that we're in day 8 there's a few things I wanted to point out. One of them being the breadcrumb here that Hades had a fully formed solid military. That means...Leviathan is either the same age as Satan or a bit older, or he is younger than him but he's just better efficient with managing devils with his strict ass.

Sitri though see's Satan's army as an advantage. Because the Gehenna devils are flexible and free but also disciplined. That leads me to believe that it's only really fear and power that Leviathan uses to make sure that everyone in his military doesn't fuck things over. It makes sense, given Levi doesn't really have a carefree personality. There's too much trauma in there for him to break down that wall.

So while Sitri was daydreaming about his plans for leading Satan's army...someone...i think we know who fucking spits in his direction...

Now the reason he's pulling this face again is because he stepped into the spit. And I'm sitting here like ?????? I get it.

Again, like imagine just minding your business and someone just hacks a fucking loogie on the ground and you step in it. With your good shoes at that.

I'd be so disgusted like??? IRL bodily functions even my own gross me out easily so I apologize if anyone ever feels offended by me having strong opinion's about things we can't help. It's just me ya'll I live in pain constantly due to this.

Yup, it was Amy ya'll lmao big surprise.

So the reason Amy wasn't reading the room here, is because he felt like he didn't need to due to his status as a solider and being recently done with training. He was really good at what he does, so he felt anything else was not worth paying attention to.

Including spitting in the direction of your superior.

Now remember when I told ya'll to keep in mind that they said Amy wasn't usually foul mouth or foul tempered?

Then what the hell is this? Lmao

I get it, people change and well devils ain't got nothin' but time so perhaps Amy did mellow out with age and he was much younger here so that "I don't need to listen or do jack shit that ain't got to do with Satan" was very heavy. So ofcourse he'd pick a fight with everyone else.

But them expect Sitri to deal with it because he was nice to everyone?

Nah. He about that life.

He pretty much said "fuck you" without actually saying it and spat ON Amy. Mind you, Amy didn't even spit on him directly just in his walking path.

Yeah...?

That goddamn fucking smirk I'm going to lovingly kick his ass because Levi PLS

You're telling me he literally took this man, molded him into a Levi clone and sent him back out like that in Gehenna? I feel this is deliberate lmao "You sent me someone and gave me work to do so here you go here's your present <3"

Imagine all of the ass kicking Satan had to do in order to fix that attitude? Phew...I bet he was like "Again?"

now ya'll know why Cain is always on that everyone is stupid to me energy because look who he takes after?

I just find it hilarious that Sitri took that personally, because Levi would take that personally. If fact Levi wouldn't even spit on Amy back he'd just fucking hang him for being disgusting LOL

i couldn't resist.

So with Amy it was on sight, because trust, if someone spat on my face I'd be swinging too because clearly you want to disrespect me

Like ya'll think about it?

All he did was just spit on the ground and Sitri wasn't paying attention and stepped in it. He didn't spit directly on him.

small story time but it reminds me of a story i was told that i ripped up a boy's classwork in kindergarten because he tore my page on the corner as a "joke". i legit took his page and ripped it up. apparently i was on demon mode lmao

But now we're really starting to see the meat and potatoes of their dynamic. Sitri actually started it and ran with it. He saw the spit as disrespect and intentional when Amy sees it as "this dude fucking spit on me now we have beef"

So they're having this little interaction of Amy trying to punch Sitri, and because Sitri's ability to hear his heart and his muscles swell before he makes the movement he can dodge him without problem. But Amy is robust and not clumsy so he doesn't do the comical falling forward thing most of us see in cartoons.

Sitri is annoyed though because he sees the potential in Amy and his talent, he simply just doesn't like that attitude and sees it as a problem.

This is definitely Levi vibes.

So the next time Amy goes for him, he actually trips him so he falls. And it ends there.

Mannnnnnnnn this is a whole trip and a half. Like imagine if Sitri would have just simply ignored the spit and just dismissed Amy's bad attitude? I wonder if that would of even helped or if Amy would have done something to annoy Sitri later that would start the same beef regardless.

Imagine.

Centuries old beef because someone stepped in spit.

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Book Thoughts: Ellen and Oscar

Re-reading RWRB and thinking about Oscar and Ellen. The thing is book Ellen and Oscar's relationship scares me because it's like the worst-case scenario of my own parents (they're a lot better now but covid was hell) So I understand it.

Ellen and Oscar are soulmates. As in they are both intelligent, stubborn and headstrong. They are very similar people. Unfortunately this is a case where it's like forcefully pushing two North ends of a magnet together: Ellen in particular wants and needs a complimentary relationship instead of collaborative relationship, which is why Leo works for her: Leo is meek compared to Oscar. He really just listens and generally agrees with Ellen. His appearances are limited in the book but when he does show up he doesn't really have his own opinion. Ellen wants/needs someone who won't speak up against her.

Honestly? I, kinda feel sad for Oscar. He said it himself, "We're both too fucking proud. But God, that woman. Your mother is, without question, the love of my life. I'll never love anyone else like that." It's sad to know that he never stopped loving Ellen while vice versa isn't true, and to know that she's it for Oscar.

When it comes to parenting I honestly think Oscar is the better parent. It was really shitty of him to leave without telling Alex and June and that evidently really hurt Alex til this day, but when it comes to the other parent things? I was re-reading/listening to Chapter Four today when he goes to DC for Christmas, and both Alex and June are so much more comfortable with him. Part of that is probably because he doesn't carry the inherent pressure of being the fucking president, but part of it is that he really cares about his kids as they are. Ellen downplays June's passion for journalism and pressures her into a political job that she didn't want at all, while Oscar "raved about June's latest blog post for The Atlantic". Ellen immediately started piling up all the political consequences of firstprince literally minutes after Alex plucked up the courage to come out to her while Oscar gave him relationship advice. This isn't to say Ellen isn't a good mother, she is flawed, as Oscar is, as all parents are. But if we're looking at non-crisis moments, Oscar's actions are more comfortable for his children.

There's a reason June initially wanted to go to California and be close to her dad. Yesterday I talked a little about how I hated how Ellen and Alex treated June at the earlier chapters of the book. Well in the rest of the book it's implied that she has a much closer relationship with Oscar, jumping into his arms when he arrives at the White House, him picking her up and spinning her when they arrive at the lakehouse.

Either way, Ellen and Oscar clash becasue they're too alike, and my opinion is that Ellen tends to fan the flames more, see Christmas dinner where Oscar suggests campaigning with them to help and she immediately shoots it down with "you can't be serious". Anyways, the children suffer the most. And uh, speaking from experience here, that shit never goes away. My parents are still together and are a lot better compared to the past, but I flinch at any sound of argument/angry yelling because of all of their fighting.

And there's this one paragraph in the book: "Even before Alex's parents split, they both had a habit of calling him by the other's last name when he exhibited a particular trait. They still do. When he runs his mouth off to the press, his mom called him into her office and says ' get your shit together Diaz.' When his hard-headedness gets him stuck, his dad texts him, 'Let it go, Claremont'" and God that's so shitty? To know, to be reminded that one parent hates the part of you that is from the other parent. Even if that's not what Ellen and Oscar's intention is, that's what it feels like, and it's really, fucking, shitty.

I wonder how would book Alex feel if he know that there was an alternative universe out there where his family was functional. I wonder how would he feel if he knew that movie Alex doesn't have his loving sister, but has loving, gentle parents who have a healthy, functional relationship.

My guess, is that he would say that he'd choose his life and his sister no matter what, and he means it because he does love June, but deep down a part of him would be jealous of movie Alex for having a smaller but healthier and happier family.

[malfiora]

I'm rewriting Jason's resurrection and reconciliation with the fam for my own sanity:

Jason dies tragically and horrifically at age 15

A year later, Superboy Prime punches through universes, collapsing two realities onto each other: one where Jason dies, the other in which he survives. Jason comes back to life but is semi-conscious. Talia finds him and takes him to the League

Jason regains full consciousness after a dip in the Lazarus. For two years, Jason trains and slowly regains his memories. Once he's 18, he decides to return to Gotham, despite Talia's wishes

Quickly becomes clear that Gotham hasn't changed much, which disappoints Jason. He decides to put his League training to use and control crime as a harm reduction tactic, and he goes back and forth on contacting Bruce, especially after he hears rumors of a new Robin

Joker pops up with a new scheme, and this is the last straw. Jason concocts a plan to kidnap and finally kill Joker and confront Batman about all the ways he's failed him and Gotham. When Batman refuses to kill Joker, Jason feints like he's going to kill Tim to "save him the trouble" since Batman clearly cares so little for his sidekicks. ("Hey, kid, at least I'll make it painless.") This gets a reaction from Batman, who incapacitates Jason and rescues Robin. Jason retreats to lick his wounds and reconsider everything

Jason takes time to ruminate on all of this. He's still hurt that his death meant nothing in the grand scheme of things but thinks about Batman's reaction to Tim being in danger and has to wonder if that's how he acted when Jason was in that warehouse

Out of morbid curiosity and a little bit of fanboyishness, Tim monitors Jason. Jason knows this and eventually confronts him. He feels bad for scaring Tim but has to maintain his edge so he tries not to be too scary. At some point, Tim speaks his mind and tells Jason that he has no idea what things were like while he was dead. "Batman was a mess, he almost killed people. That's why I became Robin. I had to put him back together, so you don't get to act like you know everything that happened the past 3 years because you been back a couple months." Jason takes this in. They part ways. (Jason: "Don't die." Tim: "Don't change.")

The Chemo incident happens. Jason rushes to Blüdhaven to make sure Dick is alive and okay, thus revealing he's alive to the Titans. After the dust settles, he and Dick talk privately so that Dick can react properly. (Dick: "No, Batman didn't tell me." Jason: "Yeah, he has a habit of doing that.")

Jason gets to ask if Tim's claim of Batman being a mess is founded. It is. He asks Dick if it's worth doing things the same way. "It is." That doesn't help.

Eventually Jason and Bruce have their equivalent of a heart to heart. Basically they both go, "I love you even if I think you're wrong."

Jason forms the Outlaws, but the moment he gets the distress call from the fam, he comes rushing back to help. He's offended that Bruce is surprised (Tim is hopeful, Dick isn't remotely shocked)

When Dick "dies," Jay comes back to take his place as Eldest Son. He sticks around through the end of the Robin War

Other important events that definitely happen but just don't fit neatly into a timeline:

Barbara and Jason team up on a mission shortly after Bruce tells Barbara that Jason is back. She's happy and immediately falls into big sister/mother hen mode and chides him for not seeing her sooner and makes him promise to stop by the clocktower regardless of whatever is happening between him and Bruce. She promises to help him upgrade his tech if he does. (Barbara has always been more lenient with killers and believes wholly in second chances.)

Cass stops Jason from killing someone who "deserves it," resulting in them fighting. Cass is better trained but she refuses to kill Jason, who won't stop. Eventually, they call a ceasefire and talk a bit. "All life has meaning," Cass says. Jason scoffs. "Even the Joker's?" "All life," she insists. Jason quietly disagrees but he respects Cass's determination. This starts a back and forth of him testing her anytime they're grouped together. ("Even this lowlife, Cass?" or "She's worth your own life?" or "They wouldn't spare you, why bother?") Each and every time she sticks to her principles.

Jay and Steph grab food together after a patrol one night and bond over being the family outcasts (i.e. the ones Bruce doesn't implicitly trust). Jason vows to make Steph his Robin if he ever becomes Batman. She laughs but is secretly touched

***I can never decide what to do with Damian. On the one hand, it's hilarious if Jason knows about him and keeps quiet about it. On the other, I don't see why Jason wouldn't tell Bruce about Damian's existence. Maybe once he's on speaking terms with Bruce again, he does tell him about Damian, which then prompts Jason to encourage Talia to let Damian meet Bruce. This is accelerated by Talia discovering Ra's' plan for Damian and wanting to get Damian away from the League

[newwritergirl]

Starting over | Part 23

Masterlist

Summary: A special day for y/n is just around the corner and her boys are trying to make it the best she's ever had.

Trigger Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI,hurt and comfort, injuries, mention of past bad relationship, a tiny little bit steamy but not really smut

Word Count: 3k+

A/N: I took me soooo long to get this chapter out, work was crazy and I had so much to do that I didn't find the time to write. I'm not happy with this chapter, not at all. It's just a small filler but it has to be done. The next chapter is going to be smutty!

A warm nearly hot feeling is enveloping Jake's chest when he wakes up from his nap. Slowly coming to and getting more awareness of his surroundings he starts to feel a vibration beside him. No, no vibration but shivering. Memories of the previous events flood his mind, y/n giving her statement, exhausted from reliving the memories of Welsh's attack, his girlfriend being afraid that they don't believe her, him cuddling with her on the couch and finally falling asleep. He opens his eyes and sees the source of the vibration against his chest. Y/n is violently shivering, her teeth nearly chattering. Jake peels his hands away from the young woman's back and wander higher up until he rests one hand on her neck. She is burning up. The blonde aviator softly cups her face which is pressed against his chest and tilts her head back to get a look at her face. Beats of sweat had already formed on her forehead. Even not awake y/n looks like she is in distress, in pain during her sleep.

"Y/n? Hey sweet cupcake…" Jake strokes over flushed cheeks, trying to rouse her as softly from her nap as possible. He is greeted with a small moan which is immediately followed by a painful whimper when his girlfriend tries to pry open her tired eyes. The light which filters through the living room windows is way too bright for her head which seems like having a raging tornado inside. She fists Jake's shirt into her hands to distract herself from the pain radiating through her body.

"Hey my girl. Did you sleep well?" Jake asks in a loving voice admiring the beauty of his girlfriend even with sweat coating her forehead and her cheeks flushed from her fever. The blonde pilot places a cautious kiss on her lips. He would have never believed that he ever feels so much love for a woman let alone for Rooster. But here he is, madly in love with his roommate and friend and this wonderful woman in his arms.

He gets slightly concerned when he doesn't get a real answer from y/n, she must be feeling really bad.

"Your fever is back, y/n. I think you're ready for some more painkillers and something for that temperature of yours."

Bradley is brought out of his thoughts when he hears soft mumbling coming from the living room area. He just talked to Maverick over the phone who gave him some interesting information about both Fillon and Welsh.

He stands up from his seated position at their dining table and makes his way over to his partners, who are still huddled on the couch.

He crouches down beside the sofa cringing when his eyes land on the huge bruise on y/n's lower back where her, well his shirt, has ridden up. He exchange a concerned look with Jake who is already fully alert, cuddling their violently shaking girlfriend into his chest.

"Hey, welcome back." Bradley says before he kisses y/n head, inhaling her sweet scent. A soft 'Roo-y' can be heard but it's muffled by Jake's chest.

"What about you two, my sleepyheads, stand up now and I'm going to make us something to eat. You must be hungry." Bradley suggests while drawing patterns between y/n's shoulder blades.

---

Y/n was desperate for a shower, to rinse away the remaining memories of the disastrous interrogation she endured by the two Lieutenants of the military police. When the painkillers finally set in and took the edge away she gave Jake her best puppy dog eyes to convince him that she is fit enough to take a shower.

So here she is, clinging to Jake's wet body in the shower of the master bathroom. Droplets of lukewarm water cascading his muscular body. Goosebumps are littering her feverish body. The two conditions her boyfriends gave her were that she is not going to shower alone, which was no problem for her, she loves to shower with one or even better with both of the pilots, but the second condition is much more difficult for her. She has to take a nearly cold shower to help lowering her temperature. Even after taking her medication her body is still not able to fight the raging fever completely.

Two strong hands are massaging her scalp, washing her hair and soothing her headache. Y/n leans her body further into Jake's chest feeling his strong body deliciously close to hers.

"Baby, when you come any closer I can't restrain myself anymore." Jake chuckles into her ear, intensifying the goosebumps littering her body even more and now not because of the cold water but because she can feel Jake's member poking into her abdomen.

Butterflies are raging a storm in her body when she traces pattern on the blonde aviator's muscular chest while his fingers massaging the conditioner into her hair.

Y/n places soft kisses right above Jake's heart. She loves her two boyfriends unconditionally and this fact just manifests only more when she realizes how both take care of her without claiming something back from her.

"Gonna wash this out, it's getting a bit colder now, baby." Jake whispers into y/n's ear when he finishes massaging her scalp and before he starts to rinse her hair with the hand shower.

A small yelp tumbles out of y/n's mouth when more lukewarm water hits her head. She stumbles another step into Jake and his warmer Body, grabbing his hips to steady herself.

The cold water and the uncomfortableness is soon forgotten when she can feel his semi hard member now much better with no distance between them.

Jake looks down and is greeted with a mischievous but cute grin from his girlfriend.

When her right hand slowly wanders from its secure place on Jake's left hip right to his sensitive cock, Jake hisses and closes his eyes from arousal. But soon he catches the wandering hand placing it back on his chest.

"You feel that? You're going to be the death of me…" He chuckles while holding her hand in place to show her his rapidly beating heart. The blonde pilot takes her other hand and slowly lead it up to his face until his lips touching y/n's fingertips, slowly kissing all five digits of her left hand.

---

Enveloped in a fluffy and preheated bath towel Jake hoists y/n up onto the bathroom counter, a soft giggle escaping her when she drops her gaze on the small towel around Jake's hips. The small fabric clearly struggling to shield his still hard member from her prying eyes.

"I see you two had your fun?" Bradley asks in a playful strict tone when he steps into the master bathroom finding both his partners still not dressed.

When his gaze lands on the slightly flushed cheeks of the blonde aviator he is afraid that he too is sick now, that his cheeks are also flushed with fever. But soon he realized the real reason for Jake's bright red cheeks.

"This little vixen, too sick to help with the household, but fit enough to touch her nurse inappropriate." Jake says in playful banter, glad that both his partners are laughing, forgetting the stress of the previous days just for a small moment.

"Well, I can't blame her for that," the brunette softly laying his arm around y/n's smaller frame, "who doesn't want to touch a naked Jake Hangman Seresin?"

---

The following week was an up and down for y/n. There's still no sign of Welsh. Him being out there makes the young woman nervous. Is he out there watching them? Is he over the hills and long gone or is he coming back for revenge? Especially now that Lieutenant Fillon told the whole story he has with Welsh, y/n is certain that the psycho is going to make an appearance. The only question is when.

Her physical recovery is still taking slow. Some days she feels better than others. Over the last days she gained some more energy to even wander around in the house. On other days she feels like a train hit her. Even if she knows what side-effects her bruised kidney can cause such as pain, fever and blood in her urine, one night she was shocked to see the amount of blood in the toilet. She knew she didn't drink enough water that day and the amount of pain she was in during the trip to the toilet in the middle of the night made that very clear.

On shaky legs she finished her business but her strength was soon completely exchanged with excruciating pain spreading from her lower back into all fibers of her body. Sitting on the floor making herself as small as possible is how Bradley found her after he stared for several minutes at the rays of light from under the closed bathroom door which illuminated his bedroom.

His concerns only grew when more than ten minutes went by without any audible movement behind the closed door. So he tiptoed into the bathroom without waking Jake up and found their girlfriend in a concerning condition.

Y/n was more than ashamed that she once again disturbed one of her boyfriends' sleep.

Fortunately she was able to avoid a trip to the hospital and during the following days she got some of her energy back.

---

"Baby! Babygirl!...Y/N!" Jake softly stops his girlfriend from swirling her way further around the living room. It's two weeks since she has been released from the hospital into the care of her overprotective boyfriends. As much as she loves both of them after 14 days of them pampering her, she is bored out of her mind. So she made the decision to clean the living room, even if it was spotless thanks to Jake and Bradley, just to feel somewhat useful.

Y/n sneaks around the living area when both her partners are hitting the home gym, she finally could convince them that it is absolutely not necessary to keep her under observation 24/7, especially under the aspect that one of them will be back at work at the base rather than staying at home writing instructions for their recruits.

"I just wanted to tidy up the living room a bit." She says while Jake softly turns her smaller body around to face her completely. Tomorrow their friends, the whole Dagger Squad, are showing up, it's y/n's birthday and Natasha would've gone feral if either Jake or Bradley would've refused her to come and visit her friend. Y/n was able to convince both her boyfriends that they should invite their whole friend group. Because of her being injured Jake and Bradley are in great need to forget the stress for one moment and being with all their friends and colleagues will be the perfect arrangement, at least if you ask y/n.

Jake lowers his gaze to catch his girlfriend's sparkling eyes, a loving grin on his face.

"Cupcake, it's spotless in the living room. Heck, the house is spotless. Bradley and I did the whole cleaning yesterday, remember?"

"Just wanted to be helpful, useful. I feel like," the young woman looks down to the floor, the fluffy carpet in front of their sofa seems to be much more interesting as the man in front of her, "-feel like I'm useless. You two did so much for me. Not just after the- the incident, but in general. How can I ever pay you back?" Y/n lets out a long and frustrated breath.

Jake tilts her head up, softly stroking his pointer finger under her chin.

"Y/n, my love. You're the most important thing in our life. Don't you ever think that you have to pay us back." Y/n shrieks when suddenly the blonde aviator sweeps her up, his hands under her bum. The young woman embraces her legs around Jake's midsection while he searches for her plump lips.

---

Y/n feels a gentle tickling on the soft flesh of her neck. A warm hand strokes wisps of her silky hair out of the way. Soon she feels warm lips covering her neck in kisses a sweet 'happy birthday, Princess' is whispered into her ear. She smiles into her pillow, enjoying the morning cuddles of one of her boyfriends. She stretches one arm out but is greeted with a cold bedside. Jake seems to be long up, fortunately Bradley is still with her in bed. The young woman rolls over to greet the brunette pilot properly by placing her hands on his warm chest stealing a kiss from his delicious looking lips. She lets out a shy moan when his mustache tickles her upper lip.

"How did our birthday girl sleep?" Bradley mumbles against her slightly opened lips.

A shiver runs down her spine when she feels his arms tightening around her to bring her closer to his muscular body. She can feel his warm skin on hers, his muscles flexing when he starts to stroke his hands over her back, cautious not to touch her still prominent bruise.

The door to Bradley's bedroom, in which the three often sleep together, creaks open. Y/n breaks away from Bradley's lips to raise her head from the comfy pillow.

Like a Greek God Jake stands in the doorway. The bright light from the living area envelopes him like a halo. In his right hand he balances a small cake with a white silky looking cream sprinkled with colorful dots like small confetti, a single candle already lighted up. In his other hand he carries a suspicious looking  turquoise gift bag.

The blonde bare chested aviator makes his way over to the empty side of the spacious bed, deposits the gift bag on the nightstand to secure the cake with the burning candle in both his hands when he crawls his way over to y/n.

"Happy Birthday, y/n!" Jake breathes out in a quiet voice, keeping the calm in the bedroom. The young woman sits up snuggling her back into the brunettes chest.

"Make a wish, Princess." Bradley whispers into y/n's ear, catching all her loose hair into his hand to help her lean forward towards the cute looking birthday cake.

---

She can't remember one birthday which was so filled with love and affection than this one today. More than a spiteful and hateful 'happy birthday' she has never gotten from Michael, her ex. When she is honest the most prominent memory of one of her birthday is five years ago. Michael was in an extraordinary bad mood this day and it only gotten worse when he found y/n in the small kitchen baking a cake for her colleagues at work. A small amount of flour was spread across on the kitchen tiles when the man entered the kitchen. It ended with y/n sporting a broken rib and painful burn on her hand when he forced her to get the cake out of the oven without any protection such as an oven mitt.

Today is entirely different, the three of them shared a big piece of cake while still cuddling in bed together, laughing and chatting the morning away.

A small tear is making its way down y/n's cheek, soon followed by more. A steady stream of salty tears drips into her lap when she stares at the present in her hand.

The cool material in her hand reflecting the rays of light which filter through the curtain. Y/n traces the heart shaped pendant with the pointer finger of her other hand. A small diamond framed with the well-known 'Return to Tiffany & Co." decorates the silvery material.

"Turn the heart around cupcake." Jake puts his under y/n's shaking one. Embedded on the backside she finds their three initials.

A load sob tumbles out of her mouth when she first looks into Jake's eyes and then turns around to look at the other pilot.

"This- this is too much…" She stumbles over her words. This the most expensive, most beautiful present she has ever gotten.

---

The light mood which spreads in every corner of their shared house is nearly physical palpable. Y/n never have thought that she would ever have such a fun birthday with friends and all the people she loves and more important people who love her. Phoenix brought a huge helium filled balloon and the guys each brought a nice bouquet of y/n's favorite flowers. Bradley was the designated chef, grilling burgers, steaks and vegetables for his friends.

After a very nice sunset which they all enjoyed watching on the cozy deck of the three's garden the cold wind picks up, creating a deep chill in y/n's bones, so that she was thankful when Jake suggested to go inside and huddle in the living room together.

This was the longest time the young woman was on up and about for nearly two weeks and she can already feel the exhaustion spreading through her body. But despite her feeling more and more drained she doesn't want to let the good time end. When she is sure that she can't stifle the next yawn she makes her way into the kitchen to start the dishwasher.

---

"I guess we should hit the road. Our birthday girl can't keep her eyes open any longer." Phoenix speaks in a hushed voice. She knows that y/n would never kick them out even in pain or being utterly exhausted. So one by one envelopes their friend in a tight hug, silently thanking God that she seems to be on her way to recovery.

"Thanks for coming. Seeing you all was the best present…"

---

"Okay Princess, time to hit the pillow." Bradley says while he envelopes his girlfriend in a tight hug, embracing her smaller body completely into his. Y/n looks up into the pilot's warm brown eyes, slowly stroking her pointer finger over his plump lips.

Feeling her soft finger dancing over his lips, Bradley can't stop the moan which tumbles out of his mouth. In a strong but nor painful grip he catches y/n's hand and lowers his head to place a kiss on his girlfriend's waiting lips. It's now y/n's turn to let out a shy moan when she feels another set of strong yet soft hands caressing her back.

"Making out without me?" The woman feels Jake's hot breath against the shell of her ear.

@djs8891

@darksparklesficrecs

@nerdgirljen

@abaker74

@crazyunsexycool

@itsarabellebabes

@lyn-js

@bibissparkles

@kneelforloki

@gg-trini

[luvnami]

not a glory hole! - chapter 14

an | the more i write this, the less romantic i feel like im writing them to be... which isn't bad! per se... / mlist cw | ageless/mdni (18+)

“i need your help.”

you look up from your phone, bemused when ushijima pushes the curtain aside and appears in your living room. you briefly wonder when hiroko-san is coming back from her vacation. there’s a small part of you that doesn’t want the hole in the wall to be repaired, but you ignore the thought and push yourself up and off your sofa. 

“my help? what’s wrong?” you take a good look at ushijima’s face. “oh.”

an angry pimple swells on the tip of his nose. it’s extraordinarily large and begging for you to pop it. 

“it hurts,” ushijima says, deadpan. “tendou says i should put a pimple patch on it. do you have some i could borrow?”

“i do, but…” 

as it turns out, your normal stash of transparent pimple patches were used up by a recent breakout. all you have left are star-shaped patches, more for aesthetic purposes than anything else. ushijima stares blankly at them. 

“do i just put one on my pimple?” he turns the packaging over and glances at the ingredients.

“yeah. you should change it in the morning, if you need another one.” you nod in affirmation. “that’s a huge pimple, though. how did you get it?”

that’s how you find out that ushijima’s skincare routine consists of face wash that isn’t suited for his skin type, and moisturiser that clogs his pores. 

“wakatoshi-kun! that’s… that’s terrible!” 

you might as well have watched him murder someone. ushijima shifts his weight from one foot to another sheepishly. anyone else would have assumed that he was being scolded by his mother for not finishing his homework. 

“i’ll bring you to buy some products next time. seriously! i can’t believe this…” you huff and shake your head.

ushijima heads back to his apartment, guilty as charged.

the next morning, kageyama drops his water bottle when the wing spiker shows up to training with a star on his nose. 

“hey, rudolph!”  romero laughs.

“doesn’t rudolph have a red nose?” hirugami picks up kageyama’s water bottle and hands it back to him. “shoko was talking about those pimple patches recently. they’re popular online.”

ushijima nods. kageyama stares. hoshiumi stares off into blank space, wondering why he had to join a team full of airheads. 

“i borrowed some from my neighbour. i have a pimple on my nose.”

romero laughs again. “a pimple! jeez, ushijima-san. are you going through puberty again?”

ushijima frowns. he hopes he isn’t, but it would be nice to grow taller still…

[googledetective]

my thoughts on the new episode as always, as I am currently losing my shit lol. I know a lot of people dislike me after last ep when I spoke up about my thoughts, but this time I'm ready to be more mature about it.

1. I love the Hu argue uhhh thingy! I forgot what it's called ngl! I love her and Nico's new sprites too, they were really all amazing and conveyed so much emotion!

And then Hu said this 💀

genuinely insane analogy to make here. I'm sorry, but that was actually insanely uncalled for imo.

2. I think everyone forgot Hu's custom weapon is wire, (if you realized and predicted this, huge props to you), and I did not expect Nico to try and frame Hu for murder like that. NicoHu divorce arc when??? Just kidding, but they're much more cruel then I originally thought. I completely understand trauma from not being accepted as the person you are which was likely in the form of bullying/abuse, but I was genuinely surprised that they really try and murdered Ace just because they didn't like him and they didn't want to go through that again. Very interesting. I also feel very bad for Hu, because she's poured her heart into trying to protect Nico, and even though her methods are EXTREMELY flawed, it must hurt to know someone you really tried to help would try to frame you for murder. This makes me wonder if Nico felt Hu was a threat to their sense of self like Ace was, if they were going to try and pin a murder on her. I'm glad Charles and J told Hu to shut up though, because she was becoming unreasonable. I really hope things turn out the best for her though, because it's clear she's coming from a place of kindness, even if her kindness is mostly self-serving.

3. As much as I don't really like the guy, I'm very glad to have seen Ace pop off. Everyone has treated him like shit, and even if he's treated everyone like shit back, he did not deserve to be almost murdered and then for people to just not care. I really hope Ace ends up making a friend if he isn't the killer, because he really deserves someone to care about him the way mostly everyone in the cast already has someone.

4. They both make very good points here. I think Ace deserves an apology, but a real one.

5. "of course I regret doing it, I'm not Levi" - Nico

THATS ACTUALLY INSANE- but that may be my favorite line of the ep. I'm glad Nico regrets the crime though, because I was scared for awhile they didn't and there might be another incident of the same thing again. This makes me think they won't try and kill again, but it's drdt so you never know, and I think they're a definite threat if they get provoked to that point so easily.

6. I feel so bad for Rose, but let me say, dare I say, I think Whit asking if Rose is okay might've been the sweetest thing Ive ever seen. A lot of people tend to forget that Whit is actually very compassionate, so I'm glad to see that part of him shine through again. Rose is so human, and I think she may be the most realistic character I've ever seen portrayed in a fangan. A lot of characters are able to just get back up after a murder, but she's stuck, and I think I would be the same way. Unfortunately there's zero mental health professionals (obviously, cause they all need to be in a ward) in drdt, but I hope that she maybe can come to cope in a healthier way with what's going on around her, because she doesn't deserve this mess. I didn't actually realize before that the cast had put her on a bit of a pedestal due to her amazing memory, but it makes sense. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but I hope that Rose comes to peace with the turpentine and the tape thing because it really isn't her fault and that she can get help for her trauma due to Min and Xander, and Teruko's almost death. No matter how much people expect her to memorize a crime scene, she's human, and we all take things at much different paces.

7.

Hey David, didn't Whit teach us that trauma is a serious thing? You know I've been defending this guy a bit because of how he helped Eden and how I think he's trying to do what's right, but NEVERMIND. Because what the actual fuck is wrong with him to say something as messed up as these two statements. Rose and Arturo do not owe you anything, and they deserve to heal healthy, and at their own pace.

8. Teruko defending Rose was not in my ch2 trial bingo card, but oh my god, that really is sweet. I think Teruko really has started to change from talking with Rose.

I'm running out of images so I can't include her monologue, but it genuinely makes me happy she's starting to get some sort of character development. She really deserves it, and Charles really deserved being so fucking right about being social, lol. Also Teruko thanking Rose with that genuine smile on her face- brought me to tears. I hope they become friends :)

9. Ace and Eden, huh? To be honest, I'm completely torn and I can't see it being either one of them, but then again, I can't see it being anyone. I know so many people are complaining about not having a culprit reveal this ep, but I'm fine. I could wait another year and a half for the reveal. Actually, I don't think we need one at all. Maybe the true drdt is the friends we made along the way. Maybe it's better to choose delusion that nobody could've done it than it to have been Ace or Eden. Maybe, I killed Arei.

(I'm not that smart so I don't think I should be making killer theories, lol. I think it's safe to say I should stick to memes.)

10.

LMAOOOO. She right though.

11. "It pains me to come to Ace's defense" - David

another laughable moment, but a win for the Acevid shippers, I guess. I don't think David was lying though, and it was my suspicion all along that he had seen the body before anyone. I'm not very smart so I'm a bit confused as to whether later they're saying David actually did see her body (which is weird bc he'd have an alibi), or if he thinks someone else might've seen it and wanted to include that as a possibility.

12.

Teruko handled this whole situation super well, I was very impressed with her. Obviously you can't rule Eden out as the killer and Teruko explained that, but she was so compassionate and understanding about it that it made me cry. I never thought I'd say this, but here's a Teruko W. As for Eden pleading... I wish I could say more and I'm sure I'll be able to later, but it's just so likely she could be the culprit that I can't take anything she says at face value rn, and I was having trouble empathizing with her. Of course that's just my take, and I have already chatted with others who felt the whole scene was just a heartwarming experience, and that makes me really happy. This being said, the fact Teruko immediately turned to Ace as her main suspect TOOK ME OUT. I feel so bad for him he has literally done nothing but be suspicious to warrant this, while Eden is at the same level of suspicion. I really like that Teruko is playing favorites now, because Eden's been so good to her all this time.

13. I forgot to include David trying to get Teruko to not trust others!!! Shit!!!

Is that seriously how he plans to end the kg.. I can kinda see what he's going for bc so far the trope is in most danganronpa that you need to trust others to live and be fulfilled (not saying drdt is gonna follow that trope though). Hm.

Bro is actually down horrendous for Teruko though 😭

tierlist after watching this ep (kill me now)

[troperrific]

/ekuoto chapter 74 spoilers/

IT’S HEREEEEE!! AT LAAAAAST!

FAILMARRIAGE FAILMARRIAGE FAILMARRIAGE FAILMARRIAGE FAILMARRIAGE FAILMARRIAGE FAILMARRIAGE

Ahem.

Pardon my outburst.

Actual chapter commentary below.

Although the main event of this chapter was the beginning of Belphegor’s darkness flashback of his marriage, there are a few things I’d like to note beforehand:

Belphegor and Imuri continue to play tug-of-war with Priest in the middle. And just like the factions of the Church and the Witches, they both claim to know what’s best for Priest, each considering themselves to be the key to Priest’s happiness.

The callbacks to previous arcs via Imuri’s drawings are cool, but they ring a bit hollow, due to various reasons. Still, I don’t care about that, because it essentially gave us these panels:

“Loli version”… maybe it’s a good thing that Leah didn’t come with Imuri after all, who knows what we would hear then lol

I must admit, I found this way funnier than I probably should’ve. “Loli version” lmao, this walking garbage of a man!!

Funnier still is that this comment has double the effect to Imuri because that’s essentially her mom he’s talking about… poor Imuri lol.

Also, I quite like that Bel’s summonings (?) have been getting steadily scarier. The angry bear with edgy mallets was cute and silly, but this time we got a cute but slightly creepy clown with scissors.

We are getting there! Maybe. I trust you Bel, may your flashbacks bring forth your inner horror film abilities!

Belphegor is such an edgelord. I love that the author manages to take issues such as depression seriously, but they can also poke fun at this sort of… exaggerated, teenage-like mindset of “you don’t understand meeee!”

Also, don’t mock the power of love, jerk! Don’t you know the sort of manga you’re in??

Ironically, by declaring that there’s such a thing as “true suffering”, ergo establishing a hierarchy for pain, and assuming that Imuri does not meet his arbitrary criteria of “true pain and darkness” he’s being dismissive himself, as careless and callous as he accuses her to be.

But on the other hand…

Imuri has actually shown herself to be rather callous and dismissive about other people’s suffering. Constantly. There are a few examples throughout the manga.

Some are more obvious. For example, when she both trivialized and sexualized Leah’s emotional vulnerability and pain back in Part 2, caring more about her own jealousy than Leah’s feelings.

Or, more subtly, how she has consistently prioritized her own feelings and pride as Gehenna’s Femme Fatale over Priest’s laundry list of traumas. Feeling more irritated and humiliated that she “lost” to Asmodeus as Aria, and that this messed things up for her quest to romance him, rather than that Priest had gotten hurt again. Or even in this arc!

This isn’t to say that Imuri doesn’t care about Priest at all. She does, and a lot. But she can be just as insensitive as the Demon Lords, when it comes to minding other people’s feelings.

Despite this, Imuri has a lot of good points herself. Truly, just about everyone that has lived has probably thought “ah, fuck this shitty world”, and that’s simply no excuse to give anyone the means to do it. Even if she’s a bit callous in her wording (and about Priest’s feelings).

I loved her comment to Belphegor that it essentially “takes two to tango”, very true. However… Is this the first instance that the Virgin Mary was actually referenced in the story? Because I’m still wondering about Priest’s mom…

ALSO:

I called it!

Of course the reason women are “evil” is that they give birth to beings he considers to exist only to suffer. Of course he solely blames them, considering his immaturity!

What I didn’t expect, though, was for him to have been a father! Just… the context, that he and his wife gave birth to a nephilim, which Belphegor should’ve known better… makes this so, so much worse, thank you Aruma-sensei, I love it already.

Speaking of which… SPEAKING OF WHICH…!!

HI ONESTA!! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU!!

We’re finally getting ekuoto’s adaptation of Belfagor arcidiavolo!!

I do like and find it interesting that Belphegor went to prove that no such thing as a happy marriage existed apparently for Satan’s sake. I guess him and the other Demon Lords were getting a little too creeped out by his habit of going to Cocytus to talk to his frozen wife…

It’s quite telling, about Belphegor’s childishness, that he believes that just by “proving” to Satan that his marriage is doomed, he can get the poor snake man to stop feeling like he does for his wife.

But for all the bullshit that Belphegor spiels about marriage…

He sure changed his mind quickly!!

I like how, despite his mention of her big boobs, the paneling and framing don’t really drag the reader’s focus to them, unlike with how he sees Imuri. Here, all of Onesta is displayed equally (with sparkles!!), with perhaps a bit more attention to her face.

And I love how… judging by Onesta’s expression and her getting flustered before Belphegor even said anything, it seems she got as instantly smitten as he did.

I mean, I know all the Demon Lords are supposed to be incredibly good-looking in-universe, likely because they’re former angels and/or blessed by God, rather divine beings themselves, but…

Belphegor still retained his messy hair, eye bags and gloomy and clumsy disposition.

And yet, it apparently still was love at first for Onesta too!

It tracks though. Sarah considered the extra eyes scattered along Asmodeus’ arm to be beautiful; as a child, Leah seemed charmed and endeared by Beelzebub’s weirdness; and Tachibana is loyal to Mammon to the bone despite seeing his man child tendencies up close.

My dear girlies with innately horrible taste… I love them very much…

Curiously, this version of Onesta seems nothing like the one described in the novella (which I was very much expecting, given its rather misogynistic tone), who was a vain, arrogant, demanding and cruel woman, but that is what makes me fear for what’s coming even more…

You see, way back, when Part 5 had just started, I theorized that we would see some sort of mental illness portrayed through Onesta, as this seems to be a central theme in Sloth.

What I didn’t consider, however, was the possibility of Belphegor and Onesta having a child. A bit silly, now that I think about it, considering Belphegor’s obsession with childhood.

This, combined with the brief flashback we got from Golem, where he noted that his mother is always crying…

I think, there’s a non-zero possibility we’ll be getting some kind of depiction of postpartum depression through Onesta, or any other sort of mental illness related to childbirth.

I wouldn’t be surprised if that were the case. It would certainly explain if she were suddenly to change her current personality to one closer to the novella’s…

Also, now I’m convinced that these two:

Might just be one and the same!

Seems like Belphegor’s been projecting his family issues onto Priest pretty hard, huh?

Next chapter is gonna be hell…

[marsbotz]

my hottest take ever. i think the the christmas danielle incident cld have saved their marriage

[oveliagirlhaditright]

So for no reason at all I'm thinking about this:

Sora was not chosen by a Keyblade Master to be a Keyblade wielder, but he becomes a Keyblade wielder before anyone else in the Destiny Trio (yes, I know, Riku's Keyblade--the Kingdom Key--had shown up on the Destiny Islands for Riku, but when Riku chose darkness over light, it opted to go with Sora instead: and there it would ultimately stay and Riku would get a different Keyblade later).

Riku was chosen by a Master to be a Keyblade wielder, and he's the third of the Destiny Trio to get his Keyblade, though still treated so much better than Kairi is, and truly gets to use his Keyblade before her (in having big adventures where he gets to use it, and whatnot): as I'm sure no one is really counting the three Heartless that Kairi killed with hers in KHII.

Kairi was accidentally chosen to be a wielder by a Keyblade Master (Aqua triggered the Keyblade Inheritance Ceremony with her by accident, that is), and this actually happens before the scene where Terra chooses Riku. But it's an accidental thing, which definitely stings a bit. And Kairi is the second of the Destiny Trio to get her Keyblade... though in a lot of ways, you wouldn't guess that.

Edit: I'm wrong. Riku gets his Keyblade second, and Kairi gets hers third, as Riku has his Keyblade when he protects Kairi and Naminé from Saïx. I, and another user on her at what point, just got confused because of Riku (if you talk to him as Sora when you beat Luxord) mentioning how he doesn't think Sora needs the power of darkness or his Soul Eater yet, which almost sounds like he still has Soul Eater at the time, when he doesn't. What a weird line just overall. -shrugs-

[toastsnaffler]

my flatmate asking me the day before "do u want to hang out w me and [old friend] everyone else cancelled so I can invite u now" is not the heartfelt offer she thinks it is :^/

[shidoukanae]

Paris Valerian but i redesign his dragon form for funsies based on how i see him=. Not sure if I like this design bc im not a fan of bulkier looking dragons but for Paris I think this works??

Some headcanons about this design:

has a bit of a bull-like look bc I associate bulls with persistence and madness and idk that fits Paris well so if Fian has a “fox” motif Paris gets a “bull” one for his dragon form 

His design is based a lot on how a stereotypically evil dragon would look???? Because imo OG!Paris reads as a massive antagonist and I think giving him a look that fits that vibe in his dragon form works!! Especially because he still is an antagonist in a way (though god does he not read that way lmao)

he’s stronger in his dragon form than Fian is and he uses this to his advantage to bully Fian around whenever they playfight as dragons. That said, it seems Paris is surprisingly gentle towards Fian in this form and never hurts him.

he uses this form to intimidate people into getting what he wants. He’s not used to getting retaliated against while in this form and quickly respects anyone who does so (read: Fian, Lyla and Helene)

the silver scales on his body can glow in the same way his eyes do. Typically, he keeps them dull-colored (see above) but if he feels a strong emotion of any sorts they’ll glow brightly without him meaning to (noticeably: they glow constantly whenever Helene is around for obvious reasons~).

[kindacreepy-kindaugly]

.

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[fatal-blow]

growing up, my mum always told me, whenever i went to the doctors or any sort of health professional, that it was important that i told them that i was hypermobile. she'd done the tests with me (herself being hypermobile and disabled in large part because of it) and though she didn't know the details, she knew that hypermobility was important to have in my health record.

so it was to my great surprise and displeasure that, whenever i told doctors i was hypermobile, it was skipped over. never addressed, never touched on, not even a comment to belie what that meant for me. i myself didn't know the impact hypermobility could have on a person, but my mother had been insistent about that fact. it was important, so why did no one else seem to think so?

i grew up with kids in school who were on the extreme ends of hypermobility. i knew a boy in middle school who could put both feet behind his head. i knew a girl in high school with long, spindly fingers who showed me how far backwards her arm could bend.

both of them had health problems, which became more profound as they aged. i never knew the details, but it stuck out that they were hypermobile, and so was i, and with my own health declining there HAD to be a connection.

common knowledge gives the vague definition of hypermobility as extra stretchy muscles, of being double-jointed. it comes with warnings not to push your hypermobile body into the extremes. don't overextend, you will hurt yourself.

the warnings are warranted. the importance isn't overplayed. these things i knew, but i didn't know why. and without knowing why, they were warnings that i could never truly obey, despite how conservative i became with my movements in a vain attempt to protect what little ability i had left.

hypermobility is NOT stretchy muscles. muscles are supposed to stretch. in fact, it's important to their health (those conservative movements prolly hurt more than helped!). hypermobility affects connectives tissues, and lands under the umbrella of Ehlers-Danlos Sydromes (there are a few) which can range in severity from affecting skin and tendons to affecting blood vessels and organs.

severity is rare, and much easier to catch. this post is for the people who are "a little hypermobile" so that they can understand what makes their body different.

a muscle and its associated tendons are like a hammock. the muscle is the fabric you lie in, stretching to accomodate the load. tendons are the rope that attaches the fabric to the trees, providing a secure anchor for the muscle to operate.

so, what happens when the ropes on the hammock are also stretchy? well, you sit in the hammock and your ass hits the ground.

now imagine that the fabric of the hammock has the ability to clench like a muscle. a normal hammock doesn't need to work that hard to stop ass from meeting ground, because it has sturdy anchors. a hammock with stretchy rope, however, must exert several times more effort, because the more the muscle pulls, the more the tendons stretch.

in short, hypermobility forces your muscles to work harder, because they must first pass the threshold of stretch the tendons are capable of before it can actually do the task it's meant to do. the stretchier the tendons, the harder the muscle needs to clench, the easier it is to overwork.

this info reframed everything i was doing with my body. small tasks of strength required the effort of much larger tasks, and larger tasks ranged from extremely difficult to impossible. holding my arms up so i could work above my head required monumental effort. with an anatomical peculiarity of the feet, i needed to use several muscles in my calves and hips just to stand without losing balance.

so no fucking wonder i crashed and burned in my 20s, when everything i did took all of my strength to accomplish. no wonder i would contort myself out of shape, so flexible that i could anchor myself into extreme poses just to give my muscles a moment of relief, overstretching myself without ever realizing why, and what damage i could be doing.

so, some things to remember:

overextending isn't good for you, but it shouldn't be your biggest concern. instead, be aware of overexertion, both how LONG you are using a muscle without breaks and how HARD you are using it.

small, frequent breaks are your best friend if you need to do something for awhile.

when you take breaks, stretch the muscles you'd been using.

if you need to exert effort to maintain a pose (whether it's sitting, standing, etc) examine whether you need to be clenching those muscles, and why.

actually whenever you are using muscles, try to train yourself to use as few as possible. you can practice by sitting or standing, and relaxing as many muscles as you can before you tip over. finding a sense of balance can make your life so much easier.

become acquainted with what relaxed muscles feel like. chronic tension can distort your perception of this, and result in habitual tension.

so yeah. if you're hypermobile, that's important. don't let a doctor's dismissal make you think otherwise. take care of yourself and know what you are and aren't capable of.