#i do think that cas getting taken by the empty was in line with supernatural's tone and like vibe BUT

[milfcodeddean]

cried forreal over destiel amvs

[rosemariad]

Supernatural season 14

Oh boy!

So Alt-Michael has taken over Dean’s body and absconded to parts unknown - what an unprecedented plot twist who could’ve possibly seen this coming, certainly not Dean, the one guy who doesn’t trust angels and has a history of being short-sighted & making shitty deals.

Since this is season 14, and there’s only 1 more season after this, I presume Dean will never grow out of these bad qualities 🤦🏾‍♀️, so…moving on.

Check you out Sam, leading your new band of hunters, like some sort of Hunters Incorporated©️. I’m glad Sam gets to spend more time with his mom, but he won’t let her take care of him 😔😭

Was it me or did that Michael & Anael scene feel like Jensen x Danneel role play 🤣 - at least when he caressed her face. Like really bro? I don’t think the scene would’ve played out that way if the actors weren’t actual husband and wife 🤣

Shoutout to Supernatural for keeping Mark Pellegrino employed lol ���😂 cuz I don’t see Why the fuck he’s still around if the devil is supposedly dead - wasn’t Mark P. also doing 13 reasons why around this time?? Anywho, Nick, luci’s longtime vessel, isn’t dead???? What does Nick have that jimmy novak didn’t (or literally any other angel vessel for that matter) — plot convenience? That must be it 🤣🤣🤣

Cas honey, why are you letting these demons beat you up? Cuz Dean is gone on your watch? cuz im sorry there’s no way im believing Cas was weaker than all them demons. That’s also plot convenience IDGAF!

After yet another demon-hunter showdown, Mary and Bobby are spotted sharing a beer & flirting…I wish John were around to see this AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Oh Jack, poor guy feels worthless for having no power. He should’ve been like ‘Castiel what’s it like being worthless?’ since that was Castiel’s arc for a minute too, which again fuck Supernatural for. Cas had like 1 badass moment last season when he fried Donatello’s brains but that’s it. Meanwhile Nick totally called Cas out, bringing up Jimmy again and driving that guilt straight into Castiel.

Alt-Michael is recruiting?? Brief Dean cameo in 14x02, you give him like 2 lines, wow 😒. Even Sam got more screen time in 5x22 swan song…but Dean suddenly comes back at the end of the episode???? Nah, bullshit!

Also lol karma for Dean in 14x02 when Jack is like, ‘Dean doesn’t matter’, Michael has to be stopped. Ahahahahahahaha. He was the so called pragmatist when it came to Jack, now it’s Jack’s turn. Castiel’s face when jack said it tho…

Dean got stabbed by AU Kaia? What?? Oh look yet another instance of Dean running away from his problems and pain and being a dick to Kaia (though she's technically a different person) again! Good for you tho AU Kaia for giving Dean a taste of his own medicine and telling him off.

Bobby leave Sam alone, I’m here for his captain my captain era. The lovable giant is doing his best!

So some necromancer gets away from Jack & Dean but we’re not gonna see her again, right??? There’s just a little over 30 episodes left in the show at this point. They probably didn’t know that at the time though.

Shoutout to the devil for basically condemning his child to die from a lack of grace :/ while Cas was able to survive (cuz plot convenience most likely) Jack as a nephilim was unable to do so. Gabe’s spare angel grace couldn’t help (I wonder if he were still alive in canon, if it would’ve made a difference. Oh well).

So this is where Cas made the deal with the empty (yes I know about it, how doesn’t everyone that shit went viral the very night it originally aired amidst the infamous nail-biting 2020 election week), tumblr is still serving the memes to this day.

Cas doesn’t want the Winchesters to know cuz Dean 😭 idc, if I was Jack I would NOT keep that secret. Dean would know IMMEDIATELY.

I think more angels died, but heaven hasn’t fallen yet…right? They keep coming back to that. Hm…

Nick’s arc is…bleh. Pretty sure in his desperation he just brought Luci back from the empty…welp. I guess when you’re an archangel who was predestined by God to fight in a fateful epic battle against your big bro, you just get certain perks in the afterlife 😒

Sam doesn’t want Alt-Charlie to go when its like bro! She. Is. Not. Charlie!!! For fuck sake guys SMH, let her live her fucking life! God forbid she want to run away to fucking safety and not die bloody like her counterpart 🤬

Bobby and Mary run off to a cabin for weeks on end 😏😂 to recuperate, sure Mary 🤣

Garth is back! Working as a spy for the Winchesters, oh dear Lord no. I know he makes it to season 15 but maaaan I don't like this….

The nerve of Dean to challenge Alt-Kaia to either hand over the weapon or kill her. What if she just killed him? Also, can't they just replicate the weapon for their own uses? All they would need to do is ensure they're using the same materials Kaia did when she forged the weapon in her own world.

How many hits to the head is Sam supposed to fuckin' take? I feel like it's happened more in this season alone than the entire show so far? He should probably be dead at this point 🤣

Jack got taken, oh no! why didn't Michael kill him? To take him as a ward? Seriously? Whatever.

And it turns out the past episode was a long con to get Dean right where Alt-Michael wanted him. I know there was a catch to him letting Dean go in 14x02.

So Alt-Michael chose to trap Dean in…contentment? With Pamela Barnes? And they weren't even a couple, just friends. She called him out on something.

Why not have him be with a real girlfriend of his, like Lisa or even Cassie? I’m supposed to believe Dean's dream is an unsuccessful bar living out his days with a platonic lady friend??? Really??? Bullshit!

John returns for the final time to go back to 2003? Okay. His hair is cut and grayish. Lol so I’m gonna see that as John gained some weight (from food/drink or muscle training idc) and dyes his hair black but the root are grey and come out every so often 🤣 but yay JDM I wish you had been in more episodes! Oh well.

So no one’s gonna talk about:

a) Adam’s existence

b) Bobby X Mary or how Bobby essentially replaced john as the father/husband by getting involved with Mary AND being a surrogate father to Sam & Dean (with a clear preference to Dean but whatever)

I’d care more about Sam & John’s convo if we had more time with them together on screen. But it was nice to see them squash their beef.

Dean & John’s convo was faaaar too brief. But insightful to their relationship. John wanted dean to have a family, echoing his wishes for his eldest in season 1 in his convo w/ Sam.

But Dean was like I have a family 🥺 my emotions!

Back to the Michael bullshit – a fight with a gorgon fucked up his containment so he literally broke out of Dean's body and killed all the hunters who were conveniently at the bunker when they brought an unconscious Dean back there. Even poor unfortunate Maggie. For a second I thought Mary would be there since Maggie mentioned she was on her way back but no, he ended up possessing Rowena.

Then they bring the old angel torture device of disabling our heroes' ability to breathe, like in the season 5 premiere, making them blind (that's new) and making them hurt.

Jack gets his chance to take Michael down, and takes his grace??????

Oh Sam bby, it's not your fault. Those people were doomed no matter what. TBH I'm surprised they lasted this long. But cuz he's a Winchester and he was raised by Dean & they've rubbed off each other too much at this point (nobromo), he decides to focus on yet another case even when Dean himself isn't willing since big bro has pointed out they have done 3 cases back to back. They're not the young men they used to be lol.

Cas goes with Sam to a milkshake town and given his legendary levels of awkwardness he's immediately seen and called out for his inherent queerness by the townsfolk (in all senses of the word).

Aw Sam wants to stay, ofc he does. This town is simple and peaceful. He could use some of that. Too bad this place is making people's heads explode.

This is why we can't have nice things.

Ah subtle there Supernatural, making Jack, a Nephilim who's the offspring of the devil himself choose between angel and devil food cake 🤣 Dean why would you put him in that position?

Cas why you gotta be snitching on Sam to your boy bestie like that 🤣 – typical boyfriend tomfoolery

Oftentimes since Jack started in this show, he's felt like an intern and 14x16 is one of those times. They don't wanna bring jack along so they think to leave him alone doing chores. Good Lord.

Oh honey Sam you didn't have to tell the sheriff you're not FBI, just stick to the monster stuff. He knows what's up.

And Jack sweetie pie you don't need to impress those kids. He should be hanging out with kids his own age. Just Jack with a bunch of babies 🤣. So cute! My headcanon is that he can actually talk to them. At least then it wouldn't have ended with a stabbing. Thankfully he cleaned up his mess, even though the local kids are terrified of him. It’s a shame he doesn’t have friends. If only he was allowed to have Claire in his life.

They finally resolved the Nick storyline (I hope) by killing him off via Jack but Mary is not happy. She’s concerned. She’s been concerned about him the whole frickin episode since he sassed her as they tried setting up a game night with Dean.

It’s like these people keep forgetting what Jack is capable of.

He didn’t have to relish the kill though. On the other hand, it felt like Mary’s concern was a bit much — if it were me I would’ve kept my mouth shut as to not upset a powerful fledging being into killing me by accident.

So Mary dies…again.

This is also why we can’t have nice things. I know Dean’s never gonna let this shit go. Sure Cas has fucked up a bunch, but killing a direct blood relative of Dean’s…nope. That’s unforgivable. I know they’re not gonna let Dean kill off a kid but I know he’s NEVER ever gonna forget Jack’s role in Mary’s (second) demise.

Why couldn’t you leave the boy alone Mary?!?!?!!?!

The boys show up, did they not circle back to pick up their mother? Seriously? Goodness Lord. So depressing watching the brothers just assuming their mommy’s coming back 😭

Cas (cuz of course this shit went tits up while Daddy was away) calls Dean to get caught up on what happened the last episode and is concerned that the Winchesters left their mom alone with Jack. Then why did you leave him Cas? You could’ve taken him with you. Like it would’ve been better if one of the brothers was alone with Jack? Badasses they may be, but they would’ve ended up just like Mary let’s be honest. The only difference would’ve been whichever brother got got would’ve come back. Mary will not be getting that special treatment…

Jack is tripping out since he murdered his foster G-maw - ends up flying all over the world (so his soul is definitely gone? But if it were gone, would he even care about killing Mary? everyone’s trying to track him down IDK why he doesn’t just destroy the phone he has. We get flashes of Mary & Jack’s time together and technically I believe she spent the most time with him (at least in season 13)

They’re still giving Mark P work on this show making him the manifestation of Jack’s subconscious cuz the kill is driving Jack insane 😭🥺 He’s reacting so much like a little boy who knows he fucked up it that makes this so much sadder 😭 Jack’s being driven mad with grief.

Oh fuck they’re going to where she died. Oh fuck.

WTF is wrong with these people! He’s a fucking boy! A super power nuke of a boy, but still a fucking boy! Like the Winchesters never made a mistake! What about the nurse who got killed in 4x22 by Sam? All the people Dean slaughtered under the MoC, as a demon! That’s just off the top of my head! No but cuz they’re the fucking protagonists 😡🤬

Samuel Winchester you know manipulating this child Is 5 different kinds of fucked up!

Jack why did you call it an accident! Did you not want to use the words murder? Destroyed? Obliterated?

Dean you piece of shit, why are you lying to this boy!!!!!! You know Jack’s desperate to make peace with you, and you lead him to a grave he’s never supposed to escape?! Poor thing Jack was sooo scared!

Sam, the regret is gonna eat you alive! Sam, for fucks sake, SPEAK THE FUCK UP! You clearly got shit you wanna say, fucking say it!

Dean you’re surprised Jack’s going along with it?! Of course he’s gonna go along with it, he wants to please you, you shady, manipulative BASTARD!

That’s right Castiel stand up for Jack since nobody else is willing to!

Oh boy, the celestial boy is freaking out. Claustrophobia was kicking in, this shit ain’t gonna end well. It’s a dark day when a psychological manifestation of Satan is making sense more than everyone else.

I’m not surprised Jack got out though. That box was made for an archangel and he isn’t that. He’s a nephilim, technically a different entity, right? now, the Winchesters have a pissed off mega-powerful creature on their hands. Great job team 🤣

that’s right Jack, give them a piece of your fucking mind! Fuck ‘em up queen.

Oh shit! I’ve watched this part a dozen times on YouTube, the part where jack makes the whole world tell the truth no matter what! Donald trump is canonically Crowley’s bitch! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

All hail the stapler queen! Iconic!

And God reveals Himself, what grand timing! He says He came for Cas’s prayer (but Cas prayed to Him in season 6 too, no?) but then He states the real reason for His arrival — Jack.

Meanwhile Jack went to see his real G-maw, not a good plan Jackie boy. She’s put 2+2 together that her daughter Kelly is NOT ok and now Jack has to confess the truth. (Where’s the dad? Was the actor unavailable or dead at this point?)

Sam was outed to love Celine Dion (I love her too Sammy it’s ok, her songs are AMAZING! My favorite is it’s all coming back to me now, I crush that shit in karaoke.) Dean follows a mommy blog 🤣 of course he does, probably cuz he identifies with her more & loves that her life is so full of shit (like I said, he identifies with her).

God don’t sanction lying, the real God would never do such a thing. Isn’t it like the 6th commandment, thou shall not lie? Like dude, the fuck?!

And no, writing means telling stories that are often made up but it’s not meant to deceive anybody. But Hollywood on the other hand…yeesh.

Dean breaking Chuck’s guitar 🤣

Chuck saying ‘DON’T!’ Having Dean shook 🤣

Why are you asking them how things are, like you don’t know?! You’re omnipotent!

They canonically made the British queen a lizard? Damn. These old Americans (the writers) are dicks!

Finally Sam is speaking up! Thank God!

Dean stop blaming people, Jesus, it was an accident (Jack you phrased it sooooo poorly though)! shout out to Sam for taking it this so well cuz he’s been through too much this season alone. He lost a whole fucking army, then his mom after he got to know her this time! And the concussions! So many concussions.

Angry Cas is sooooo fucking hot 🥵 when he slammed that truck with his fist 😏

Awww the first thing he does when he sees Jack is hugs him. Jack needed that so bad!

The biggest travesty is we never got to see the SquirrelVerse!

When Sam asks if God is watching them — Sam do you even know what omnipresent means?!

It’s just like I said in season 11. God doesn’t owe anyone anything. But everyone owes Him everything. He gave everyone the freedom to choose, for better or worse. But this iteration of who God is seems to watch what people and creatures decide to do with their lives. He made the weapon to see who among Sam, Dean or Cas would take it and strike Jack down.

So ultimately when Dean tracks Jack down and Jack throws Cas into a tombstone and Sam is running dramatically to stop it, Dean ultimately decides not to kill Jack. But why though? He kept talking shit about how Jack needed to be dealt with, but when the moment comes, he won’t do it?! I mean I’m glad but it doesn’t really make sense?!

Was it the puppy eyes? Did Sam teach Jack that trick? But Jack closed his eyes at the last second???

Oh Dean, you’re such a fucking softie. That’s on you God. You made him softer than Mr. Pillsberry.

If anything, Dean is the step daddy. Cas is Daddy. And then there’s Uncle Sam 🤣

Sam is many things, but stupid is never one of them. Naïve maybe, trusting, desperate. But not stupid. And not crazy, this time 🤣

I will say what makes this story compelling is the fact that the Winchesters find themselves locked in a cycle of violence at the hands of their Creator, and they’re refusing to commit further acts of violence in effort to stop it all and rebel against their cruel, dispassionate maker. But they have no means to back it up…today.

Not the Burger King catchphrase🤣🤣🤣

Not Jack being…smote?

Not Dean being yeeted into another tombstone?

Sam, why did you think that was gonna work on God? He made the weapon. You really think He’d make something that could kill Himself? Nah bruh.

So we’ve approached the ending of the penultimate season. 20 more episodes to go! Ah!!!! I’m excited but also not since the ending is what I know (mildly).

Side note - Sam & Dean still don’t know about Castiel’s bargain with the Empty (kinda seems pointless since God killed Jack anyway…Cas basically fucked himself for nothing 🤦🏾‍♀️ [I know how it ends but yeah still])

It’s not about the destination though, it’s the journey (I keep telling myself that).

God said fuck y’all. Shouldn’t’ve poked the bear…now these poor innocent people gonna die like sheep to the slaughter. Y’all got a lot of cleaning up to do and with so little people to help you.

So did God undo all the killings the Winchesters did? Cuz damn….that’s 10+ years of work undone. In 1 moment.

They’re not getting out of the cycle anytime soon.

[ananke-xiii]

On Supernatural, getting what you want and the power of stories

I'm writing this post on the spur of the moment and I'm not exactly sure what my real point is, but I felt the urge to share my thougths with... well, I would say with someone, if by someone we mean any possible tumblr users that might stumble on my ramble.

It's all started after I've finished watching Supernatural and, among the many things that this show has made me think about more deeply, there is one that has just stuck with me and I can't seem to shake it off.

This thing is the idea that you can't get what you want. It's my own personal feeling, it might be the case that the show left you with something else, hopefully more positive. In my case, though, I was left dumbfounded after my discovery that the story I was passionately following for the past few months reached no catharsis.

Let's take Mary Winchester.

Mary: since life is about getting what you want? (from s12x12)

I'm sorry but when I heard this line my heart sunk a little. Her character starts off as a trope (the fridged woman that sets the action into motion), then gets back into the play in a fascinating way just to be literally erased from the face of earth. The show can tell us that she's happy in Heaven but this is not reassuring at all and doesn't change the tragedy inherent in her character.

The we have Dean Winchester, of course.

Pamela: How come you only want what you can't have? (from s14x10)

In this scene we are in Dean's "dream life" and yet, even there it doesn't seem possible for him to get what he wants. Why is that so?

Finally, we have Cas.

Cas: The one thing I want, it's something I know I can't have. (s15x19)

This was so hard to watch. I mean, not only does he want just ONE thing, but he also knows (or think of knowing which is the same for the audience as we don't know exactly what he wants), that by default he cannot have it. On top of that, because of the deal with the Empty, Cas had to actively choose between happiness and LIFE: it's just atrocious.

These characters, like many others on this show, were killed off without reaching the end of their becoming. Or, worse, the completion of their becoming was death.

So this got me thinking.

First of all, as far as storytelling is concerned, we as a collective have taken death too literally. Writing this in a silly post about frigging SUPERNATURAL where characters have died and come back countless of times seems CRAZY but hear me out.

There are two immensely powerful things that are intrinsically connected to the image of thread: stories and Destiny. They both inevitably lead to an ending. But death is not a fucking ending!

And it's precisely because of that, among all shows, Supernatural was THE perfect show that could have finally showed&told us this truth.

Think about it: we do not need to end stories with death. In the stories we have the incredible power to show death figuratively. So, for instance, a character that goes through their becoming can come out the other side both very much alive AND very much dead, because their past SELF has died. It's called metamorphosis, look it up!

In a story (and I would argue in life but I don't want to get too philosphical here) death is just a step in the process, it doesn't have to equate with the literal ending.

So why are we scary of this? Because it's frigging frightening!!! And exicting!!! And revolutionary!!! And I think we should start telling stories where people get what they want, become what they want and yes, a "self of them" dies in the process but this is good!!! It should be celebrated!!! And this death doesn't need to be literal/physical, more specifically this is a kind of death that doesn't cut off the becoming but enables it.

Stories are power. If we can't get what we want in our stories where does this leave us? No, I won't accept that. I think people are starting to realize this, too. We don't want silly stupid stories with silly stupid happy endings (and I would argue that, symbolically speaking, marriage is a form of death, too, but I digress). We want powerful stories vouching for the possibility of transformation, of catharsis, of getting what we want.

(so unfridge Cas, Mary and Dean, please)

[urne-buriall]

more on our Latin chapter title! this fun little phrase refers obliquely to Death as the "I" of the idiom, and Arcadia (although a real geographical region in Greece) serves as a byword for past paradise. the phrase is a "memento mori," that is to say: remember you will die. (call me death-obsessed. I am. it's my birthright.) enjoy this life you have with whatever youth or health or brightness there may be, but know it will end. that there's meaning in it because it will end

it's worth a moment now to expound on the title of this work, "our lights in ashes", which comes from a line out of Sir Thomas Browne's "Hydriotaphia, or Urne-Buriall."

Since our longest Sunne sets at right descensions, and makes but winter arches, and therefore it cannot be long before we lie down in darknesse, and have our lights in ashes.

Urn Burial is largely an anthropological work from the 1600s about the discovery of buried funeral pots near Norwich, with discussion of other funerary practices or burial rites through history that were known at the time. the fifth section of it, however, is this exquisite and melancholy memento mori meditating on how we live with death and, essentially, the pointlessness of tombs or rituals such as these. the work is one I find enchanting, a morbid curio that is somehow comforting and haunting at the same time

this particular line refers to the brevity of life. even the longest lifetime is but a short winter's day in the scheme of things, compared with the long and deep catalogue of time. the reference to "lights in ashes" has a footnote from Browne about a Jewish funerary custom of lighting candles in a pot of ashes by the corpse. we will not live long and even time itself grows old, but there's something implied about the act of commemoration, even when Browne says it's pointless because no one will be remembered in the longer scale of time. because burial rites are, yes, for the dead, but they are also for the living. they are a way of processing and coming to terms with our grief. I've taken courses on death and dying and inevitably found myself surrounded by people who wish to know the secrets of death, as if we could somehow prepare ourselves for it or get around it, but we can only ever learn about what's on this side of the veil. it always went back to living grief. wanting our lives and the lives of those we've lost to mean something, whatever we believe as far as faith goes

this fic is about grief and wrestles with what comes after death. it's sort of ironic working with Supernatural, where our characters have died multiple times with zero consequences. death is something you can just walk off if you're a central character. and it makes killing off our faves emotionally pointless, because there's no serious consequence and there's this promised paradise of Heaven (reliving old memories) or getting thrown to Hell (which you can still be rescued from). life, of course, isn't like that. as far as I understand it, you only get one shot. so while the magic lets Cas come back from the Empty one more time, the characters are ultimately facing down the threat of losing someone forever, and having to decide what matters in the meantime. pursuing Cas? no question, that's priority number one. but Dean has to think beyond that, too. he's thinking about the life he wants once he has Cas back, and realises it's time to get a start on having that life now

whew, all that talk of death and meaning and I barely even made it to the latest character introduction! in this chapter, we meet our best skeleton friend, Todd. Death in Arcadia, or close to. he's not exactly the Grim Reaper, but he looks like one, and there's an element of the psychopomp to him, one who can travel between the borders of worlds, an ambassador between the living and the dead. he's not Death incarnate and has more to do with beginnings than endings as the Demiurge, the craftsman of the universe - though he's distinct as an artisan or architect rather than some Creator God of All Things. but I can't conceive of creation without Death, creation must also contain the seeds of its decay, making this form suitable for him, as well as having roots in tradition

this is a really pensive and morbid behind-the-scenes piece considering that this is literally the chapter where we introduce a talking skeleton. we are here having FUN, this fic is not taking itself THAT seriously and is also VERY hopeful despite all this weighing of life and death and time and eternity. I just have chronic refers-to-things syndrome and am past saving

et in arcadia ego (even in Arcadia, I am there)

the craftsman of the universe & the spanner in the works.

[teamironmanforever]

HIGHLIGHT TRANSLATION OF THE SPANISH DUB ACTOR GUILLERMO ROJAS

Guillermo Rojas - Spanish Dubbing actor for Dean since season 12 until 15x18 (he contracted Covid and was unable to record 15x19 or 15x20 - he has yet to record those) 

INTERVIEWER: “Memo (nickname for Guillermo), I am not sure if you knew, but you broke the internet” 

MEMO: “Yes, a lot of people sought me out when this happened. I am so sorry I wasn’t able to answer at length all of your questions, but I was right in the middle of dealing with Covid. I couldn’t speak without feeling like I was drowning. Right now I am going to (voice) therapy. While it is not too dreary, there are 2 continued effects, so I couldn’t answer everyone who contacted me through various ways - through FB, instagram and an old youtube channel that I haven’t used in years - with respect to the situation that occurred between Dean and his friend (Cas). 

MEMO: “We try to follow (our lines) in what we see of the acting. Remember that dubbing is something where we must make a parallel alignment in our own language. Under the guidelines given to us by the client, we try to expand on all possibilities and all the alignments and - as actors - they permit us to give 100% of ourselves. So there isn’t a limit per se, so long as you don’t go off track (from what was requested from the client)” 

INTERVIEWER: “What were the guidelines for the line that broke the internet” 

MEMO: “It’s curious because neither the director nor us the actors knew much about the tendency that existed. Because we didn’t have much previous information that suggested that something like this would happen. To be honest when we recorded it, we were asking wait what’s happening? I mean we did it, but no one knew this was coming neither in the production studio nor amongst the actors.” 

INTERVIEWER “I need to ask for a clarification here. I mean we are talking about the love declaration Cas made to Dean after 12 years of intense eye-contact. But the big question is Dean’s answer. Because EVERYONE heard in your voice that clear “And I you, Cas”

MEMO “And I you, yes.” 

INTERVIEWER “Where does that “And I you” come from? Was it you? What happened there?” 

“The adaptation came entirely from my director (Adrian Fogarty). He adapted it and gave us our acting guidelines, and I performed accordingly - I gave what he asked of me. We all loved it. We never saw it coming so overtly.... If you remember across all seasons, we rarely see Dean get involved with any women. It just didn’t happen, unlike his brother. He just never got involved. It wasn’t his thing, especially because we have his brother to compare him to. We saw (Sam) in a relationship in the past 2 seasons with Eileen which was a very intense relationship, and very painful in the end. Dean never had to suffer through that. They tied Dean’s pain to the loss of his mother since he lost her more than once.” 

FB question: “So It wasn’t a rogue translator, it was a rogue director”

MEMO: “Look, Fogarty has some really intense abilities and one of them is to adapt the dialogue. When you see him translate a script, when he has the time to do it - even when he is not the one directing - and he leaves it in Spanish. The dialogue said, if I remember correctly, “me too” or something like that and then we switched it to “and I you” due to effects of lip movement, rhythm, etc... We don’t all have the ability that Fogarty has, that speed which he has, to think and translate immediately. We are a team and we work together, and pool our collective abilities, and of course Fogarty does his part. You need a Fogarty in every company.” 

(The interviewer mentioned that her cat hates Sam Winchester and loves dubbed Dean’s voice). 

INTERVIEWER “Do you know what Dean said in the original script before Fogarty got his hands on it?”

“Yes, of course. It made allusions to that. (Fogarty) made the right translation. It said and so do I or me too or something like that. It said it in the (original) script.” 

INTERVIEWER: “When you heard the english version while you recorded yours, did you hear Dean say I love you too?” 

MEMO: “No. If I would have, I would have taken the earphone out and gone what the fuck? *laughs*” 

INTERVIEWER: “What was your favorite episode to film?” 

MEMO: “With my short-term memory, I would say this last one (15x18), because it says so much. In one scene, it says it all. It was impressive, and so beautiful. I never saw it coming.” 

Interviewer “Well you have broken tumblr again.” 

MEMO: “Okay *Laughs*. Well, that’s good. Thank you very much.” 

MEMO: “I think it’s clear to everyone that the fact that he (fogarty?) broke the internet, with this information was a surprise for everyone. Absolutely everyone. Because we all say that if someone wants to be a “real man” we have to be like Dean. In fact it’s something very beautiful for me because it has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with feelings. It was a play by the writers that was marvelous. You didn’t see it coming, but damn do you like it.” 

MEMO: “Nothing was left out of the translation... No I was not called to re-record the “and I you”. I have not been asked to remake the dubbing. My director perfectly understood the texture of the text.” 

INTERVIEWER “Do you know if Supernatural has a quality review for the dubbing through Warner Bros?” 

MEMO: “I would be lying to you if I said yes, but I have been working for WB (LatAM) for many years as both an actor and director. And there is some specific material where they do have “filters”, but with something like supernatural I doubt it. I would assume the one left in charge of all decisions was our director (Fogarty).” 

INTERVIEWER “Have you been interpreting Dean as in love with Castiel this entire time or was it a surprise for you?” 

MEMO: “No, never, it was a surprise. In fact, to be entirely honest, to my closest friends - of the same gender - I do use the phrase “te amo”. I don’t have any issues with that. So I actually thought it went that way - but then I found out it was romantic.” 

INTERVIEWER: “Guillermo, what is your opinion, of destiel now that you know the nature of their relationship.” 

“Well it was a revelation for everyone - including me. I love how they handled it because we didn’t see it coming. And I think, of our understanding of the character’s traits and psychology, we know that if someone knows how to repress their feelings, it’s Dean Winchester. *laughs*” 

INTERVIEWER: “What would you say to Cas if he came back from the empty?” 

MEMO: “He came back?! (he hasn’t seen 15x19 or x20)

INTERVIEWER: “No I am saying what would he say IF he did” 

MEMO: “Oh, okay. I was under the assumption that I said I loved him so long as he wasn’t planning on coming back! *laughs* Well if he returns I guess I would say “Hello, Cas”.  

INTERVIEWER: *Tells MEMO about the not for nothing cas but the last person who looked at me like that I got laid” 

MEMO: OKAAAAY *laughs* That was too much. *laughs* 

INTERVIEWER: Would you be this fandom’s Godfather? 

MEMO: But of course *smiles* This was a big thing, from what I see. 

INTERVIEWER: “What message would you give to the fans who are descovering the spanish dub?” 

“first, thanks a lot of being part of the mexican dubbing. We do this job with all the heart and all the passion that we have. And I think I speak for all involved in this industry. We are glad to note that there are so many people from other countries that are watching these new projects in another language. So I have no words but thanks a lot.” 

INTERVIWER: “What would be your ideal ending for Dean Winchester” 

MEMO “I think, for all of them, they have sacrificed their lives and that of their loved ones for the safety and well being of everyone else. I think if anyone deserves to be well, happy, and calm, at least it’s those three (Sam, Cas, and Dean).” 

INTERVIEWER: “What about jack?” 

MEMO “Jack did attach himself to them, but I think he could find happiness in another nest.” *laughs* 

[blorbosondeck]

fic rec masterlist

canon divergent/finale fix its

Anamnesis

THIS! FIC! this fic lives in my head rent FREE it is so good and it makes so much sense in the narrative that the shitty finale concocted, as to why they wouldn't mention cas or anyone else and its just. so good and they write chuck in the most villainous way that i love!!!

"Chuck is depowered, Jack is the new god, and the world is free. Dean and Sam get into the Impala and chase down the miles on an endless highway, and their story is finally, finally their own to follow. At least, that's what Dean tells himself. But the diners and motels and painted interstate lines are blurring together and the smallest details keep catching at his brain like tiny fishhooks and he can't quite shake the feeling that not everything is exactly as it should be. Fix-it/alternate series finale. Canon-compliant through the end of 15.19."

Sunset Sound: Stairway to Heaven by @adhdeancas

GOD FUCKING CHRIST this is so good and sweet and im such a sucker for team ups and reunions!!! its 3:30 am rn and i just finished it and i love it SO much it made me laugh a lot and the last few chapters i had the stupidest grin just plastered to my face

The Closer the Star, the Greater the Parallax by @rocksalts​

repressed bastard dean submits to the mortifying ordeal of being known and receives the rewards of being loved but only after some miscommunication i LOVE this i read it last night and it’s a fast favorite. my interests have overlapped and i am INTO it

“When Dean sits down to watch some bullcrap Discovery Channel episode with Cas, he doesn’t expect to actually learn anything. Except, with Cas explaining, he makes an effort to connect the dots.”

Don't We All Deserve To Be Happy?

VERY sweet and a VERY good pick me up. all around feel good fic!!! 

"Post-canon fix-it, divergent from 15x19 where Jack stays and Dean doesn't die and Cas comes back and everyone is happy. Take a shot every time I'm salty about the finale."

Keep Your Love Alive

okay. okay okay okay this may be my favorite finale fix it just because of how well reasoned it is. like this feels what should have happened i love it SO much

"Dean gets to spend eternity sharing beers with Bobby on the Roadhouse porch and riding around in his Baby with Sam. He’s at peace… or he feels like he should be. But a few things nag at him: Where is Cas, and everybody else Dean had been hoping to see in Heaven? Why does he feel like he’s stuck in a loop, reliving the same memories over and over again? And who are the strangers wearing Sam’s and Bobby’s faces?"

The GoldenRod Revisions by @aethylas​

this is one of the most well written things ive ever read. the script format DID make it feel more real and honestly? this is better writing than this show deserves. the finale that could have been ♥️

“A rewrite of Supernatural’s final two episodes, expanded into a five episode arc - in which Chuck needs to be defeated, Castiel deserves to be saved, and the characters in this story get a very different ending.“

Ascend by @wanderingcas​ 

THEE finale fix it fic!!! written by the AMAZINGLY skilled and talented @wanderingcas !!! it’s 50k of angst and hurt/comfort and pure bliss

“Something in the world is wrong.

Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.

But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.

Or can it?”

Things Happen (They Do, And They Do, And They Do) by THEE @sobsicles

i KNOW everyone has already recommended this and likely you’ve all already read it. but it has to go here bc REPRESSIOOOOOOOOON i LOVE this so much it is one of the most perfect things i’ve read. are you bisexual? did you have a kind of weird relationship with your best friend and not realize that how you felt about them wasn’t necessarily how other people felt about them and you were maybe a little bit in love with them but were too repressed to realize it? you’ll feel seen. maybe a little too seen

Closer (isn't close enough)

are you a sweet and sappy yet horny bastard? do you like cas exploding light bulbs? you will like this.

“the one where they finally talk about what cas said before the empty took him”

You and Your Husband

it is exTRMELY sweet!!! repression dean strikes again <3

"Five times Dean corrects someone about his relationship with Cas, and one time he realizes he doesn't need to."

Tall Grass

miscommunication and a slowburn! despite being written in 2017 and finished in 2018, it feels like a fix it. ft. plant obsessed cas <3 

Invictus

a LOVELY and short (relatively) finale fix it

“They saved the world. They're free. It's done.

Except it's not, and carrying on is the last thing any of them are thinking about.

They still have someone they need to save.”

Unchained Link

post finale- it’s a great case fic and i am compelled i want more!!!

"It's after the end of things. Life continues on while Dean is "livin it up" in heaven. But it's never that simple, is it? A freak occurrence sends Dean into another time stranded back on Earth. And he thought his hunting days were over. But, no worries. His knight in shining armor comes to the rescue. Hijinks, therefore, ensue."

fun and time unspecified

Ladies and Gentlemen, This is Love Potion No. 5

very funny and sweet! miscommunication at its finest ♥️

"Cas gets drenched with a mystery potion from the ‘love spell’ shelf and... Dean has a sneaking suspicion, angel or no— the spell may have taken effect. And Cas might be in love with Sam."

The Way We Were

Y'all. It is so good its a great mix of funny and serious- extremely fun to see dean as like a base bisexual

"Dean and Castiel pose as a couple to gain access to a gated community known as 'The Glen', a pleasant if secretive location that the boys believe might be linked to several dead bodies showing up over the years bearing signs of ritualistic sacrifice. All seems well until Dean's memory is affected from an incident during a solo exploration, leaving Dean convinced that their cover story is true. Castiel is left trying to resolve their case without taking advantage of an increasingly enthusiastic Dean"

While You Were Sleeping

this is basically just the movie but replacing sandra bullock with cas. this is my comfort movie and imo, one of the most perfect rom coms. the fic isn’t finished but i still have the tab open on my phone and i will straight up go back and re read it when i need a pick me up. 

aus/rewrites

The Harvelle Gospels: Offscript

i know everyone ever ( @jewishcharliebradbury ) has recommended this fic. and for good reason go fucking read it

“The Apocalypse is averted, the angels are in Heaven, and Jo is free from the threat of possession. Somehow it couldn't be farther from a happy ending.“

absolute riots

An Ineffably Profound Bond

i honestly would have put this in the finale fix it section! look. i know. i know you've been burned by crossover fics before. but this is Thee good omens/spn fic you want. its funny as hell and immensely satisfying. im weak for everyone working together tropes and that is this

"After Chuck sets 'The End' in motion, the remaining members of TFW make a miraculous escape. Not willing to waste any time, Castiel comes up with a plan to travel to one of the other worlds to try and get help from the angels there, but after a fight with Dean, it's the hunter who gets sent into an alternate universe,with seemingly no hope of return.

When a mysterious human with a heavenly weapon shows up in Aziraphale's shop, he and Crowley learn that their world is not the only one. Now it is up to them to decide whether or not they want to join forces with the human and help him save his world or simply find a way to send him home."

Somebody Up There Likes Me by @lafilleredige

cas is hit with a spell that turns his vessel into a woman, hijinks and sexuality crises ensue etc etc sam is a supportive and bitchy little brother and its all SO fucking funny and also. horny as hell i love it i love it i LOVE it

“’Dean doesn’t want to talk about your breasts, it’s making him uncomfortable because he hasn’t acknowledged the complex fluidity of human sexuality.’“

Stray Cat Strut

a long crack fic that IS one of the funniest things i’ve ever read and i can’t explain why. it’s so ooc but its so funny that i don’t care. if you need a laugh you gotta read this

"Sam and Cas are immediately in love with the adorable kitty they find outside the bunker door, and occupy their time planning how to convince Dean--who they believe is off sulking after a botched hunt--to let them keep their cat. Along the way, Dean learns to use a litter box and hears some confessions he maybe wasn’t supposed to hear, all while realizing just how much he loves Castiel.

Now all Dean has to do is convince Cas and Sam their new pet cat is actually him before they do something crazy--like neuter him!"

canon compliant or slight canon divergence

Give

by @doublestuffedimpala post season 7 episode 7, kind of ambiguous ending but truly a cas is happy to bleed for the winchesters fic

Punch Like Bones 

short, post 5x04 homoerotic moment that i wish we’d gotten

[curioussubjects]

Supernatural is fun because you always stumble onto stuff you already knew and connections you already made, but then it’s 1am and you’re in some stupor and you see thing again and suddenly you are hit with a brick to the face and--

I mean for real?

13.04 Empty:  I have tiptoed through all your little tulips. Your memories, your little feelings, yes. I know what you hate. 

14.08 Empty:  Oh, but not now. No, no, no, no, no. No, you see, I-I meant what I said. I-I want you to suffer. I want you to go back to-- to your normal life and-- and then forget about this and forget about me.

13.04 Empty:  I know who you love… what you fear.

14.08 Empty:  And-- And then, when you finally give yourself permission to be happy and let the sun shine on your face, that's when I'll come.

13.04 Empty:  There is nothing for you back there.

14.08 Empty:  That's when I'll come to drag you to nothing.

First of all Meredith Glynn pay for my therapy. Second, as I said, absolutely none of this is new. We know it’s Dean Cas loves and we know it’s Dean’s love that would shine on Cas’s face, but I think when you put those lines next to each other it’s much easier to see the connection: in order for Cas to let the sun shine on his face, he must overcome what he fears. The Empty knew this because it read Cas’s mind. It knew the depth of Cas’s fear and of his love in a way that Cas himself didn’t. Cas couldn’t see clearly through his fear, his surety that he was unlovable because of his failures. 

And the most tragic of all, even at them moment Cas does take that step, when he finally does overcome the fear that would cloud his vision of his own worth, of his own goodness reflected back to him through Dean’s love....Cas couldn’t see it. He was taken before Dean could actually say or do anything. The tragedy of the deal with the Empty is that is comes at the moment when all happiness unfolds, but before one gets to fully experience it. Cas is happy, sure, but those are the buds of happiness. Truly, Cas doesn’t understand it still, but he could, finally he would haven been able to:

Cas:  When I experienced a moment of true happiness, The Empty would be summoned, and it would take me forever. I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be? What my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer because the one thing I want... It's something I know I can't have. But I think I know... I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having, it's in just being. It's in just saying it.

He only got it halfway. Cas out here still missing the point! He’s still settling for what he thinks is his true happiness. But the deal was never about true happiness, was it? It was about permission. It was about Cas accepting that he was good, and wanted, and that Dean loved him. To be and say your ultimate truth means to have a clear view of the self and of the other, and of your environment, unburdened by self-loathing. 

The cruelty, the suffering here is that Cas was so close to his true happiness, and yet so far. 

[stusbunker]

BGDC: Stay Down

A Supernatural Fan-fiction Mini-series

Featuring: Female Hunter!Reader, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Chuck and Jack

Written for: @supernatural-jackles​​ Tell Me A Story Bingo

Summary: Everything comes to a head. Can she do better this time? Is there anything worth salvaging? Chuck has his own thoughts.

Square filled: In Vino Veritas

Word Count: 2615

Warnings: THIS HURTS, Flashbacks in italics, canon-ish, verbal arguments, that pesky motherfucker HOPE, Chuck is still a dick.

Series Masterlist

Inherit the Earth con’t

    It had taken Sam two weeks to get out of Dean what happened, why she left. It was not his proudest moment, but the thought of her in their home made him sick. So, he had shown her the door. He thought he was her hero, he’d never imagined she’d treat him like a piece of meat.

    There were some lines that you shouldn’t cross and he didn’t know if he’d ever be able to forgive her that.

The drive to Sam and Jack feels like an eternity, even ignoring all traffic laws. The day is bright, but the impala rumbles garishly, a black omen. The static hiss of unmanned radio stations gives her something to do. She diligently sorts the tapes, finds something to fill the void. 

Melody as white noise. A band aid on a bullet wound. Dean can’t fix what’s been broken. But she never even tried.

Sam cries at the sight of her. She runs into his arms and he squeezes until he can’t any longer. An ounce of redemption in the ocean of guilt. Sam glances over her head to his brother, he feels the other shoe drop.

“Where’s Cas?” Jack’s obvious question echoes the shame in the new arrivals’ eyes. She holds her breath as Dean explains, like she’s waiting for his story before she can move on. Like he didn’t tell her either.

Sam aches with what he’s allowed to happen. The old internal rage gnashing at his gut as he screams in an abandoned restaurant. They’re what was left behind. All they have left to do is give Chuck what he wants.

His ending, at last.

Dean didn’t tell her what he and Sam were doing. Didn’t need an outside opinion on this one. Instead he asked her to keep an eye on Jack, knowing she’d say yes. He guessed he wasn’t done asking for things. The sight of Chuck makes him see red. But this was it, he’d die with his brother beside him. For the world.

When Chuck blows off their offer, he can’t say that he’s surprised. Disgusted, angry, regretful maybe, but Dean’s not surprised. 

The house always wins.

They crash at a motel for the night, everyone gets their own rooms for a change. She knocks on his door just after midnight with a bottled peace offering and her ratty sleep clothes. Dean doesn’t need this right now, but he doesn’t have the energy to be cruel.

“Where’d you get this?” Dean holds the amber liquid up to the light to read the label.

“Liquor store down the street. Don’t even feel bad for taking the five finger discount anymore,” she sighs and drops on the spare bed. “You gonna tell me about your little side mission or do I just get to guess at the outcome?”

Dean cracks the bottle open and sighs. “Bupkis. So, nothing to tell, really.”

She’s watching him for signs of lies, at least she’s not overtly antagonistic with her appraisal.

He offers her the bottle and she shakes her head. ‘Maybe she learned her lesson,’ he thinks and then takes a long pull off the glass rim.

“So, the Empty, huh?” Dean grimaces as she closes her eyes, taken aback.

“What makes you think I want to talk about it?” Her faces pinches and he is just too fucking tired.

“Because you always want to talk about it. It was kind of a thing.” Dean shrugs.

“I came to check on you, dumbass,” she mutters. He sits on his bed, leaves the bottle between them on the nightstand.

He doesn’t stop the sour hum that claws up his throat. He was trying to play nice, but she just had to keep on being the tough guy. “Funny, didn’t think you cared much what happened to me anymore, or how I feel about things at least.”

She has the gall to look surprised, but underneath it he sees she’s almost as tired as he is. “I did not come here looking for a fight. If you’ve got something to say to me--- Maybe you should remember who called who. And who dropped everything to help.”

“And I don’t seem to remember you doing too much of that,” Dean snaps back, turning his head only.

She pauses and Dean feels a little smug that he’s getting to her. But not nearly as much as he should. He cocks his eyebrows, waiting for her obvious answer.

She shoves him back on his proverbial heels instead. “We both know you were just keeping tabs on me. There wasn’t anything for me to do. And then I became a fucking bargaining chip. So screw you, Dean. I’m not here for a performance review.”

“I think we already established, no one is screwing anyone here,” Dean mutters, letting his head fall back against the wall. 

“Is that what this is about?! You are honestly bringing that shit up now?!”

“So what if I am? Better than acting like it never happened. Playing the fucking martyr,” Dean bites back. “I, at least, own my shit. Maybe you should try it some time.”

“You kicked me out! What was I supposed to do, wait on a damn cross until you finished your case?!” She still doesn’t get it. Dean’s chest is writhing with all the things they never buried.

“It doesn’t matter. We were family. And you threw it all away,” Dean lays it out.

“ME?!”

“Yes, you!” Dean’s standing, hunching over her, unleashing. “You had to make it about your feelings and the crush you had on me when we were kids. Don’t you see? It was more than that. We WERE more than that. But you were lonely, or horny or needed to drown your feelings. And you cheapened everything. And now---- we can’t even have a real conversation.”

It’s like he’s looking at a completely different person. He doesn’t even know her anymore. 

“Dean, I---” He cuts her off, this was entirely pointless.

“Don’t, okay? Just--- leave it. I’m gonna get some air.” Dean starts towards the door and slumps, half turned he continues, “Look, I’m glad you didn’t get stuck in the Empty. But Cas did---- And to be clear, this wasn’t ever about rebuilding bridges, it was about stopping Chuck. And we couldn’t manage that.--- But we can’t just go back to the way things were just because we’re all that’s left. The sooner you understand that, the easier this will be--- for everybody.”

The heaviness of wasted effort sinks into his shoulders. Dean closes the door behind him with a gentle click. They both know she’ll be gone before he gets back.

No one left in the entire world and one of my oldest friends still doesn’t want me around. This wasn’t humble pie, it was a goddamn humility infused vat of pie filling. Not a spoon in sight.

Fuck him. Fucking pie metaphors even. Fucking brain.

I leave the damn whiskey, but I really want to throw it against the wall. Dump it in his boots. Bath in it. But I don’t. I give him his twenty paces and I duck out, bypass my room, Jack’s, and head back towards the liquor store. There was a pick-up I might be able to hot wire, if I remember where I saw it.

I mash my lips together to stop their quake, but everything keeps clawing its way up, centering itself in my way. I did this. The one person I needed to believe in me and I fucking ruined it. It was never about Amara, or Cas or him being too good for me. I just wanted what wasn’t there. 

The dirtiness slides down and clings to me, like a wet coat. An unwashable stain, that’s all my presence is anymore. I don’t want to be where I am unwanted, unneeded, unuseful. Well, useless really. But, I can’t lose Sam too. Not again and definitely not now. I stop when I spot the truck. 

Running isn’t going to mend what running severed.

Know better, do better.

I creep back to the motel and pretend to sleep. There are salt lines dried across my skin when Jack knocks on my door.

The sun still rises. Dean tosses his things in his bag, even the whiskey. Waste not want not. They’re heading home to regroup or to hide or just for something to do. He doesn’t care, but being out in the open feels like he’s leaving them open for an ambush, or Chuck’s prying eyes at the very least.

He knows they’re not safe from that anywhere. It just feels safer somehow.

Dean feels good in motion. Sam’s at his side, while she and Jack sit in their own quiet corners in the back. The looming reality of an empty planet unnoticeable on the backroads. Denial is a helluva drug.

So is hope. Good thing he kicked that one.

When they pull into the garage, he doesn’t even bother grabbing his duffel from the trunk. Dean bee lines for the hard stuff and no one even bats an eye.

Maybe he has always been that predictable. Maybe he no longer cares.

I’m sitting on my bed, flipping through an old photo album when Sam finds me. It’s been three days and the bunker just keeps getting hollower the longer we stay inside. It’s like Chuck is slowly strangling the oxygen from the air.

I’m pretty sure I’ll be the first one to break.

Dean’s too far into a pity party at the bottom of a bottle to be pushed off any one edge and Sam’s too good at keeping on. Of course, Jack is getting by on sheer purity of spirit.

“How you holding up?” Sam’s voice is scratchy, but familiar, I don’t know the last time we actually spoke. I don’t really make eye contact, but shrug all the same.

“You?” I ask, unnecessarily.

He sits down beside me, looking over my shoulder. He huffs out a laugh at one of the pictures.

“I can’t believe you managed to keep all of these,” Sam says as he reaches over and slides his finger tips over the poorly taped Polaroids.

“They were at Bobby’s for a while, but I dug them out of a storage unit after--- well, after I fucked things up with your brother. Figured they were all I had left after that.”

Sam inhales at my bluntness, cocks his head because it hurts to hear, but also doesn’t sit right. What a doof.

“Spit it out, Legs, I know you wanna say something,” I goad.

“I guess I don’t really--- what happened?” Sam’s eternal need to know things going for my weak spot. “I mean, Dean said you tried to put the moves on him, but I guess, why was it so horrible?”

“Well, I actually have some new information on that front,” I offer, turning to face him and placing the memories on the far side of the bed. 

Sam’s brows pitch. 

“Apparently, I--- cheapened everything. Dean thought whatever our relationship was, was more important than hooking up. And I made it all about me.”

“He said that?” Sam asks in a hush.

“Yup,” I huff out. “And a very firm, ‘there is no rebuilding bridges’,” I say in my best/worst Dean voice.

“Wow.” Sam looks to the ceiling then scratches the back of his head. He doesn’t know what to say.

“It’s okay, I mean, I did kiss him. I knew it was a bad idea, but I had psyched myself up that entire night, misread everything. I’ve never been the one guys willingly go home with. I shouldn’t have forced it.”

“Don’t say that. You’ve had---,” Sam breaks off when he thinks about my asshole ex.

“I’ve had a couple of real winners,” I finish for him. “But it’s okay. Because now we’re the last people on Earth. No one left to break my heart.”

I slap the edge of the mattress and lurch to my feet, ignoring the pain in Sam’s eyes. He just lost Eileen and here I am moping about something that happened over two years ago. Once a shitty friend, always a shitty friend.

“You can keep looking through that if you want. I’m gonna start dinner,” I add at the door.

Sam nods, but he doesn’t reach for the album. He just sits on my bed and chews the inside of his lips.

Jack’s feeling things and Sam’s looking at Dean with insistence, but Dean’s hungover-leeched brain is not putting things together.

“What?!” 

Sam grimaces, heavy on the bitch factor. “I think you should be the one to tell her we’ve got a lead. Meanwhile, I’ll start packing the car.”

“Great. Sure.” Dean does little to hide his disdain. Sam doesn’t budge.

He grunts through an explanation as she cleans her gun. Luckily, she doesn’t ask too many questions because the vibrations of his own voice are adding to the throbbing at the base of his skull. 

She slips him a bottle of painkillers before ducking into the back seat next to Jack. He doesn’t say thank you, but he knows she knows he’s grateful. They used to be able to do that, not as easily as he and Sam, but silent communication was possible, once.

He gets them on the road before noon, the familiar feel of the wheel in his hands steadies Dean until the pain starts to subside. The soft, yet urgent Jack-P-S guiding their way.

They stop for an inevitable pitstop and Dean gets hit with a pure dose of that damning hope. A white, shaggy dog is laying outside the men’s room and his face breaks into a smile for the first time in weeks. It’s the proof he needed aside from Jack’s fuzzy radar.

Chuck didn’t get everything.

He scoops the dog up and shows him off to Sam, forgetting entirely about his need to pee. He sets the sudden miracle in the backseat, promises there’ll be enough room for him.

That’s when Dean spots Chuck in the field, menacing and knowing. Dean straightens on instinct, facing the threat. As Chuck raises his hand to snap, a gushing voice rushes to Dean’s side.

“Oh, who’s a good boy?!” She doesn’t see their destructive creator waiting in the wings and Dean moves to shield her from Chuck’s gaze. 

It’s too late.

Suddenly Chuck is standing beside the impala’s trunk.

“Now, how exactly did I miss you?” Chuck gapes, the disbelief and rage shifting across his once amiable face.

She chokes on her breath, freezes on the spot. Dean sees the power trip flash in Chuck’s piercing blue gaze. He likes when people are fearful, he likes to see them squirm.

“She wasn’t here when you iced everybody, Chuck. It doesn’t matter anyway, it’s still just us,” Dean reasons, downplaying her worth.

“Nah, I don’t like it. It’s supposed to be you and Sam. Jack, fine. He’s just a pet anyway. But her? You guys get over your crap and suddenly there’s a whole new generation of thorns in my side. Sorry,” Chuck huffs and snaps his fingers. She disappears faster than Dean could take it in. “Not sorry.”

“What the hell?!” Dean barks. Panic, rage, and overwhelming sadness shoot through him as he dives towards Chuck. But he’s gone before Dean can get there. Falling to the gravel, gracelessly, Dean spins on his knees to see if Sam or Jack are still alive and accounted for. He spots their silhouettes through the convenience store windows. With that little platitude, Dean staggers over to soothe the dog’s sudden whimper. And then it vanishes too.

Maybe Dean never made it out of Hell after all.

Tell me what you think?

Tagging: @peridottea91​​ @fookinghelljensensthighs​​ @cosicas-cuquis​​ @flamencodiva​​ @akshi8278​​​ @dontshootmespence​​​ @smi727​​​ @ericaprice2008​​​ @crashdevlin​​​ @dolphincliffs​​​ @spnfamily-j2​​  

Read On: Free Will

[shirtlesssammy]

Anger and Love

I can tell you this. I still hurt over the ending of this show and the reasons roll into each other, like tangled yarn tossed in a bin. (In this metaphor, I am the bin.) 

Castiel

The BURY YOUR GAYS trope. My GOD when will this show learn. (The answer is never. Never, because it’s over.) In 15x18 Cas confesses his love and then dies. Guess who else dies in this episode? Charlie and Stevie! The writers said, “Who will hurt the most to lose? Ah, yes. Charlie in the new and terrified bloom of love.” We can ASSUME that Charlie and Stevie come back, but we don’t get to see it or hear about it. And we get the barest throwaway line that Cas comes back in 15x20, but not seeing him physically return after over a decade on the show feels like a blow that just won’t stop. 

More EMOTIONS below the cut.

On Thursday, I said to Boris that it would have been better if we’d never been tossed that crumb about Cas’s love. Why give us this FEAST and then take it away like Chuck poofing away a dog? Many people have pointed to network cowardice, and that’s certainly a possibility. Some people have put forth the theory that exposing Cas’s love for Dean was simply a season-ending ratings move. Either of those could be true, or some mix of them. Listen, I can spin myself around that stupid knot for days and we’ll probably never get the whole story. Instead, I have to look at the core of what Castiel coming out means for me. And the truth of it is, it means A LOT. It means I love him a whole lot more. Cas is mine, he’s ours, he’s one of us. And I’m angry as hell at how it went down, but I’m still glad we got Cas’s side of the story. I have a pride pin on the lapel of my Cas trench, and it’s never felt more perfect.

So I’m angry, but I’m also incredibly glad. Ugh. Knots.

Boris: We’ll never know what actually went down during the production of this season and the hiatus changes or the show’s narrative arc, but I have to believe that Robert Berens was given some kind of go ahead and planned for a lovely and beautiful ending for Dean and Cas. That his story was taken from him at the end (much like Wayward’s eventual ending), is so unfair. Because Cas’s story wasn’t completed. Dean and Cas’s story will forever float out there for us to ponder. Like Natasha, I will cling to Cas’s confession and see it as a beautiful coming out moment for a character I love very much. I’ll be forever despondent that we didn’t see Dean’s story play out on our televisions.

Dean

I didn’t come out as bi to more than three people until my late 30’s. It was something I was first in denial about, and then it just seemed “not relevant” for a large swath of my life (married for 18 years now). Talking about that with my family and friends surprised me - how relieved I felt. How free. As I was working through this, I was also slipping into Supernatural fandom, and watching a show where Dean COULD BE bi. Reader, I projected myself right onto Dean Bean. Maybe he was like me. Clueless, then in denial, then thinking that part of himself irrelevant. So giving us Cas without Dean, given the scenes we watch on the show, feels like a personal affront. I know I’m projecting here, so I’ll acknowledge those feelings and move on to the next…

I am also PISSED about Dean’s story. All his life he’s been “daddy’s blunt instrument” and ready to die bloody on a hunt. It’s spoken about so often that we think surely - at the end - we’ll subvert that. SURELY he’ll survive. The last couple of seasons, he’s fighting for control - freedom from Michael, freedom from Chuck. He finally achieves that freedom and then loses everything anyway. There are no rewards on Earth. He died solving one last case from John’s journal. Daddy’s little soldier to the end. It’s disgusting to me to take this beautiful, complex character who is textually SO FULL OF LOVE and then take a pass on imagining what he might do with a real life on earth. It’s lazy writing, used for a cheap, fast, emotional reaction. The more I unpack Dean’s fate against the rest of the series, the angrier I get.

Boris: I think so many of us confused and discovering things about ourselves later in life see Dean as a character that matters. His story, had it been told fully, would have mattered. I don’t buy his death or his peaceful afterlife. It’s still too raw to process because he deserves happiness in life!

Billie

“I know Supernatural has a history of killing off characters of color,” I told people, “but Billie’s a main character now!” W O W 15x18 is the kick that keeps on kicking. I did actually enjoy Billie’s arc quite a bit, but losing her still makes me angry, in the broader context of the show.

Women

“Supernatural isn’t great with women,” I said. “But we have Mary now! And Billie!” Please picture me as Olaf when I say. “Mary DIES. Billie DIES. Only sad men remain.” Sure, we get some throwaway lines. We know Donna’s alive in 15x20 because of the call to Dean’s phone. Actually, scratch that, we know someone talked to Donna…because this show didn’t want to address that literally no other hunter knew about or mourned Dean’s death so they had a random stranger call Dean’s “Other other phone” for help. Great. Now I’m mad about Dean again.

We can probably blame some of how the final episode shakes out on COVID. Presumably, the final scene in Heaven would have been a party with Mary, the roadhouse crew, original Charlie, maybe Eileen? Kevin? etc etc. Instead, it’s an empty, lonely end on screen.

Which brings me to Eileen. Sam’s romance was laid out carefully throughout season 15, so what the fuck happened here? We assumed we’d at least get some confirmation that Sam ends up with the woman he brought back from the dead and then dated as recently as a couple episodes ago. Instead, there is literally NOTHING. No attempt is made to say that Eileen’s the one Sam ends up with other than his son having dark hair. There are no family portraits. No sign language to the faceless mother by the house. (Standing in a floral dress, like a good housewife.) Is she dead? Did Sam end up with someone else? Even without dialogue, there are ways to show Eileen’s presence that weren’t used. I’m so angry that she was an element of the season and then…hand waved away as irrelevant. The faceless wife MY GOD, SHOW.

Boris: Yikes, I cynically see the reason to not include Cas in the end because homophobiaTM but to not even give us Eileen and Sam? Clearly, they wanted to erase every person that mattered to the brothers from the end. Ugly.

Heaven

The funny thing is that I’m constantly trying to write a “happy eternity in a now-free Heaven” in my own fan fiction. If anyone should like 15x20 it should be me! I’m always trying to argue that it isn’t major character death, because their souls are infinite and now free, blah blah blah. So ultimately, my problem isn’t with peace in Heaven. It’s with Dean’s EARLY DEATH, and how empty Heaven feels. How desolate and devoid of life. Dean leaves the Roadhouse and drives alone until finally Sam dies and joins him. It reads like the ultimate fuck you to the “family don’t end in blood” storyline. If COVID filming got in the way of filling Heaven with life, then we have all suffered a great loss. It should feel ecstatic and full of community. Instead, it just feels wide and lonely.

Ultimately, boiling the season finale into an intimate portrait of brothers should work on paper. It SHOULD, but the show leaves so much unsaid and unshown about the community and family they’ve built along the way, and tells us to be happy with the scraps we’ve gotten instead. It tells us they were never that important, in the end. 

The Future

I’m still going to watch the show. I’m still going to enjoy the show and the characters. There are reasons I have watched all along, and they don’t have anything to do with needing the show wrapped up in a neat bow. I’m angry with Supernatural’s conclusion, because I love it. And I’m okay with that.

Boris: I love this show so much, and I know I’ll continue to love it. I need time to lick my wounds and forget about this episode. This show is about the characters and the journey and that’ll never end.

[the-samuel-aesthetic]

I would like to take the time to explain WHAT made this episode so horrible...

It is easy to just say it was bad without proof, but why did it end up pissing of the entire fandom?

1) The final hunt. Why was this vampires? Why did they have to make the vampire storyline 10 minutes long just to lead them up to Dean’s death? It doesn’t make sense seeing how vampires were never a pinnacle creature on Supernatural. The woman brought back, I remember almost every single guest star by face. She is one of the few who never had any memorable about her.

2) Dean’s dead? And in heaven? His death was first of all laugh worthy, no matter how much they cried or talked about memories. It wasn’t a good death.

Dean, the guy who’s died 100+ times over the span of 15 years isn’t one that would go out by being unknowing pierced through his abdomen.

Also, the wound could very well have been fixed had they only gone to the hospital or called an ambulance (thinking they of course cleaned up the dead guys).

3) So we have just totally stopped caring about Eileen, good to know. She was never shown in the ending, in the beginning of this final episode she wasn’t even MENTIONED.

It was as though Sam had totally forgotten about her as soon as she got Thanos snapped out of existence. Granted we don’t see who Sam is married to but you’d think they could get her in at least one frame to show that it is HER.

4) Speaking of forgetting characters: the fuck happened with CAS? Dean was so adamant about getting him back up until Chuck lost his powers. After that he’s all happy and carefree and “you gotta live, Sammy”.

He never talked about Cas once after he was taken by the empty, never got any closure.

The story doesn’t make much sense. Cas’ death BECAME for nothing as Dean never changed, he never accepted that he could be loved or love someone. It was for nothing because it changed nothing. It created a beacon that drew in non-fans and old fans, without delivering what was promised.

THAT is shitty writing.

5) This was a filler episode. The episode was rushed, running through day, weeks and years within the span of 40 minutes. This HAS been done right in television before, hell it has even been done right on SUPERNATURAL before.

But here we see it all flop. The moments that are meant to make us cry are making us cringe, the moments that are meant to make us happy are confusing and frustrating.

The story was not followed through so the ending became another filler. You can tell because it doesn’t matter what side you’re on, we could have ended with 15x19 and the story would have been virtually the exact same. This episode contributed absolutely nothing to the story. Something you are taught is rule 1 of storytelling.

6) The Destiel part. Even those who do not care about this can understand the frustration. It was a decade long queerbait that left us in a death so unjustified that it broke the internet.

The theories of this being the redemption arc for Dean to change his way of being after having been angry and shitty since they found out about how God ruled everything, they made sense. Even to those who don’t think of Destiel as real could see how the theories made SENSE.

We got given a poorly written trope, but it could have been made history if it had only followed through. It could have been made so much more (if I can find the links to the best theories I’ll add them in).

Cas could have been Dean’s road to salvation, to healing, to normality. But the writers shat all over it because it “has only been about the brothers”

The whole thing about them saying that the ending was about the brothers and the family they built up over the years flew out the window, didn’t it? Because we saw literally NO ONE of the family they built up.

Oh yeah, Bobby was there for about 5 minutes. But everyone else just either died or were forgotten about. How does that even line up?

I am sorry to all people who invested time into this show, who came back with hope after years of being away, who came in and started watching the show now because of the things they have heard about it.

This wasn’t worth the wait, this wasn’t worth the pain or the time investested into this show. This wasn’t made fairly or well.

And if you don’t see that you have been getting too little for too long that you’re happy with the crumbs you can collect.

Please stay safe, know that even though the show is over the fandom will stay together no matter how poorly we were treated.

[petrichoravellichor]

Rebar Not Included

Written for Day 11 of the Supernatural Deserved Better Creative Challenge (prompt: hunting).

Summary: Jody and Donna help out the Winchesters by looking into an Ohio case involving masked vampires, and what do you know: not only do they manage to kill a certain side character from season 1 but they ALSO make it through without dying! Oh, and they kiss, just because they can.

(Read on Ao3)

********************

Jody was just settling down with a book for the evening when her phone rang; she smiled at the name flashing across her screen and swiped left to accept the call. “Hey, Sam.”

“Jody, hi. How are you?”

“Alone, believe it or not. Alex is working the night shift, Claire and Kaia are still on that case down in Miami, and Patience is staying over at a friend’s. Got the whole house to myself.”

Sam chuckled. “That...honestly sounds kind of amazing right about now.”

“How’s Cas? Is he feeling any better?” she asked. It had been nearly a week since Sam and Dean had returned from the Empty with one bedraggled former angel in tow. Jody hadn’t pressed too hard for details at the time—Sam had sounded pretty exhausted when he’d called to tell her they’d made it back safely—but from what she’d gathered, Cas was human now, and his time in the Empty had left him very much in need of recuperation.

On the other end of the line, Sam groaned. “Uh...yeah, you could say that.” A beat, then: “He and Dean haven’t come out of Dean’s room since yesterday afternoon.”

Jody had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. "Huh. Well, how do you like that: they finally figured it out.”

Sam sighed. “Yeah. Don’t get me wrong; I’m really happy for them. I just wish the Men of Letters had invested in sound-proof walls. But anyway,” he said, changing tracks, “that’s not what I called you about.”

“What’s up?”

“So get this: last night, a family of four in Akron, Ohio, got attacked home-invasion style. Whatever it was killed the dad and drained his blood.”

Jody frowned. “Vampires?”

“I think so, but there’s more. I called and spoke with the police sergeant, and according to her, the attackers left the mom alive but ripped out her tongue, and they also took the two kids.”

Jody’s blood ran cold; she glanced at the photo of Alex, beaming and holding up her nursing degree, over on the mantle. “They’re taking blood slaves.”

“Yeah, looks like it.” Sam paused, then: “The thing is, I don’t think this the first time they’ve done it. Back in ’86, our dad was looking into a string of kidnappings along Route 77, and it was the same thing: whatever it was took the kids and ripped the tongues out of any adult it didn’t drain. By the time Dad started digging around, though, the attacks stopped. Until now, anyway. Here, just a sec, I’m gonna text you something...”

A moment later, Jody’s phone chimed. She put Sam on speaker and tapped to open the message; it was a drawing of what resembled the front part of a skull. “What am I looking at?”

“The mom drew that, the one from the most recent attack; apparently, the perpetrators wore masks. Hang on, I’m sending you another picture. This one’s from our dad’s journal, back when he was working the case in the 80s.”

The second picture loaded, and Jody drew in a sharp breath: the resemblance between the two drawings was unmistakable. “It’s the same nest.”

“That’s what I’m guessing. They seem to always target the same type of home: outside town, isolated, kids between the ages of five and ten. If the pattern from last time holds, they’ll hit Canton next, then East Sparta.”

Jody swallowed. “You want me to look into it.”

“If you’re able to, yeah, that would be great. We’d go ourselves, but what with Cas still recovering and him and Dean...um…” Sam cleared his throat, then continued more smoothly, “I can call someone else if now’s not a good time.”

Jody chewed her lip for a moment, then shook her head. This felt personal. “No,” she replied, pushing herself off the couch and heading to pack a bag, “I’ll take care of it. Let me grab a few hours of sleep, and then I’ll head out.”

“Great, thank you. I��ll dig around online and text you a shortlist of properties around Canton that seem like likely targets.”

“Sounds good; thanks, Sam. Take care.” She smirked, adding, “And tell Dean and Cas I said hello. Whenever you see them, that is.”

Sam snorted. “Will do. Be safe, okay?”

“Always.” She ended the call, then typed out a quick message to Donna: Hey babe. Feel like teaming up to take down some vamps?

********************

The following night, she and Donna were crouched in the shadows near an abandoned barn in Ohio. Sam’s intel about where the nest would hit next had proven accurate, and by the time a black van carrying two masked vampires had pulled up in front of a rural home outside Canton, Jody and Donna were waiting. They dispatched both vampires easily, sparing one just long enough to learn the location of the group’s nest; now, the only thing left to do was clear out the remaining vamps and free the children who’d been taken captive.

“Okie dokie,” Donna whispered, “our toothy friend back there said they keep the kiddos in a room off to one side. We go in through the side door, then you take right, I take left?”

Jody nodded. “Works for me. Come on,” she said, drawing her machete, “let’s go save some kids.”

They crept over to the barn and entered.

At first glance, the place seemed deserted. They fanned out along the walls, searching carefully for any sign of life, but other than the occasional spiderweb, there was nothing. Then, as Jody neared the back of the barn, she heard it: a quiet sniffling sound coming from behind a latched door. She raised her hand and signaled to Donna, who nodded and hurried over; then, while Donna watched her back, Jody opened the door and saw two small, scared-looking little boys peering back at her. The younger one couldn’t have been much older than her own son, Owen, had been when he’d died, and the realization made Jody’s stomach clench.

She lowered her machete and crouched down to the boys’ level. “Hey,” she whispered soothingly, “hey, it’s okay. You can come out; you're safe. We’re not going to hurt you.”

No sooner had she ushered the two boys to her side, however, than she heard Donna’s warning: “Heads up, Jodes; we got company!”

Five figures were approaching slowly from the front of the barn, all armed with blades. Four of them, the two on either side of the central figure, wore masks similar to the drawings Jody had seen in Sam’s text messages. The fifth, however, was a maskless female vampire dressed in dark leather. As the group drew closer, she looked from Jody to Donna and back again with a scowl.

“You’re not the Winchesters,” she said, as though someone were playing a trick on her.

Donna flashed a grim smile. “Sorry to disappoint.”

“Boys,” Jody said, low and urgent over her shoulder, “run.” She heard their frantic footfalls, followed by the slam of the side door. Good, she thought, hefting her machete as the vampires charged: she didn’t want them to see what happened next.

The first vampire lost its head the second it stepped in their space. Jody spun and slashed, Donna at her back, the clash of blades shattering the still air of the night. It was brutal work, bloody work, and Jody took no pleasure in it. Her only objective was to protect: the boys they’d freed, Donna, Sam and Dean. She had no idea what the vampires wanted with the Winchesters, and she didn’t care: whatever it was, she’d make sure they didn’t get it.

Jody had just relieved a second vampire of its head when something flashed on the edge of her vision; she pivoted, raising her weapon just in time. The female vampire’s blade crashed into her machete and sent a shockwave of pain up her arm, nearly causing her to cry out. There was no time for that, though: the vampire swung at her again and again, driving her back from the rest of the fight before rushing forward, barreling into Jody with the force of a tank.

Jody fell hard to the floor. Her machete flew from her hand, and she could only watch as a triumphant smile split her opponent’s face. The vampire raised her blade to deliver a final blow…and then her head flew off in a spray of red. Her body crumpled to the ground, revealing Donna, blood splattered and furious, machete still hovering at the end of its arc.

“Not my girlfriend, you bitch,” she panted, glowering down at the corpse as though sight alone could set it ablaze; then her gaze shifted to Jody, and all the rage seemed to drain out of her at once. “You okay, Jodes?”

Jody exhaled, nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” She peered past Donna, counting the bodies on the ground and sighing in relief when the total came to five. Donna reached out a hand, and Jody took it, allowing Donna to pull her up and into an embrace. They kissed then, slow, reverent, and it was several moments before Jody could bring herself to pull away.

“Come on,” she said quietly, brushing back a strand of Donna’s hair. “We should go find those boys, make sure they get home safely.”

Donna nodded, and they drew apart, then left the barn without looking back.

[goldenraeofsun]

Symmetria

A 15x18 fix-it, set post-series

Also available on AO3

Dean doesn’t make an immediate trip to the Empty when all’s said and done with Chuck. He takes his time getting used to his new gig as capital D Death. Billie, of course, did not see fit to leave him a training manual. Instead Dean gets a squad of whiny angels (reapers, but still) to manage and a bajillion books to read, so he does his best to channel his inner Cas and get the job done. 

It’s nothing like that day old Death brought him along on Take Your Human to Work Day. For one, Dean's been to Heaven, so he’s not as torn up about reaping kids and good people. He can tell them with complete honesty, You’re gonna be in a better place. Heaven's awesome. No cryptic bullshit when Dean’s holding the scythe. 

For another, he’s also been to Hell, and Rowena herself set him straight on her plans for the place. Sending dead scumbags and murderers down to her is the highlight of his day. 

It’s still exhausting work, and he gets why Billie thought it would be a better punishment than killing him outright. He can never rest, never find peace, since there’s always a job to do. Death and taxes, and all that. 

Not that Dean wanted to kick the bucket before his little brother. But now Sam’s capital G God, so they’ll both be hanging around for a while longer. When Dean reaps him, Dean’ll give one of his lackeys the scythe, and they’ll both party it up in the Empty. 

Oh, and he’ll reap Jack too, since Dean can’t reap God without the Darkness. Balance, as those damn books keep telling him. 

“Hey.” Dean stomps his snowy feet on the welcome mat. He hikes his take out bags higher in his arms. 

Eileen signs hello. “How are things?”

Dean grins as they make their way to Sam and Jack in the kitchen. “Sent a Wall Street embezzler down to Rowena before I got here.” He knocks hard on the table with his knuckles to get Sam and Jack’s attention. 

Jack looks up from the textbook they both had been pour over, beaming. “Dean’s here.”

“Already?” Sam’s gaze darts to the clock above the oven. 

Dean drops the food on the table. “It’s Sunday dinner! I wouldn’t miss it since you’d probably starve without me.” He pulls out a chair and flips the book to his side of the table. He scans it with mild interest. “What’re you working on?”

“History!” Jack says brightly. “I’m learning about ancient Rome.”

Dean turns to Sam. “You know, you could just take him to see Caesar, right? Or I could. Rowena gave us an all-access pass.”

Sam bitchfaces at him. “That’s not the point, Dean.”

“The point is to learn critical thinking and rhetorical skills without supernatural assistance,” Jack says, and obviously those aren’t his words judging by the proud look on Sam’s face.

Eileen shakes her head, signing emphatically, “I don’t know if that counts if God is helping with your homework.”

“I’m just supervising!” Sam protests.

Dean snorts. "Uh huh."

Jack peers at the takeout bags with interest. “What did you bring for dinner, Dean?”

“Russian,” Dean says with a grin as Jack pulls out a container of pierogies. “Borscht, stuffed cabbage, and stroganoff. Plus some vegetable thing. I don’t know - it was all in Russian.”

Sam rolls his eyes since a little thing like a language barrier isn’t really a problem for them anymore. They’re all fluent in ASL from a snap of Sam’s fingers. He had first offered to restore Eileen’s hearing, but she politely declined. Being Deaf is part of her identity, apparently, just like keeping his stupid Jesus hair is Sam’s.

“This looks delicious,” Eileen signs as she gets to her feet to grab plates. Jack hops up too, making a bee-line for the cutlery drawer.

Sam tosses Jack’s homework on the empty seat at the table. “How’re you doing?”

“Fine,” Dean says. He pulls the stroganoff closer for first dibs.

Sam narrows his eyes as he accepts a plate from Eileen. “You sure?”

“What?” Dean makes a face. “It’s true.”

“I think you can aim a little higher than fine,” Sam says exasperatedly. “You’re a universal constant who has Sunday dinner with two cosmic beings. Plus Eileen.”

“I do only come here for Eileen,” Dean acknowledges solemnly.

Eileen winks at him as she sits back down. Jack laughs.

“There’s gotta be something else you want out of this,” Sam says, gesturing around them.

The one thing I want, is something I know I can’t have.

Dean swallows down the lump in his throat and dumps stroganoff on his plate. He deliberately does not look at the empty chair to his right, currently occupied by Jack’s homework. 

“It’s too soon,” he grunts.

“Is it?” Sam asks, eyebrows raised. “You’ve got your reapers under control. I’ve created enough new angels to run Heaven without blackouts. Jack’s got a handle on his Darkness powers and settled in at school. There’s literally been no better time.”

Dean sighs. “What if something happens?” He looks at each of them in turn. “We’ve finally got something good going for us.”

Jack makes a face like he killed yet another plant without meaning to. “But is it really good without Cas?”

* * *

Dean has lost count of the number of times he’s replayed Cas’s final moments on Earth in his head. He has also lost count of his regrets. There were so many times he could have said something, done something. Been the loving man Cas talked about in his goodbye.

But he isn’t.

He can’t love Cas. If Dean did, he would have caught on a hell of a lot sooner. Wouldn’t have waited or held back. Wouldn’t have, for the first time in that moment, questioned whether Cas could feel something as human as that. For him, of all the mud monkeys on planet Earth.

Instead, he just stood there like a jackass and let Cas get taken away by black goo again.

Love is sacrifice. Cas hammered that point home like no demon deal, no trials, no soul bomb ever has.

But Dean’s a Winchester, and if their family is known for anything, it’s throwing sacrifices back in each other’s faces - spitefully, lovingly.

Sam and Eileen hit the books. Jack writes down all he remembers about his time in the Empty.

It takes two weeks to come up with a spell to take out the Empty, or, at least, temporarily cut it off at the knees.

Dean, Sam, and Jack head back to the Bunker. Technically, Dean still lives there, but he’s usually all over the country, carrying out his Deathly duties. He hasn’t spent the night since they took out Chuck. After the adrenaline crash, he just sat back with his brother-turned-God at the war table and wondered if this’ll be the rest of their supernaturally long lives. Neither of them said much.

They prep the spells in the kitchen before heading down to the dungeon - the most secure room in the Bunker. Dean, tense as a coiled spring, tries to keep up with the laughs and jokes, but Sam keeps shooting him knowing looks.

“You good?” Sam asks as they get ready for the last seps. 

Dean, his mouth dry, can only nod.

They prop up the bowl of ingredients on an old filing cabinet, and Jack stands by with Empty bombs (based on Kevin’s demon bombs). Sam bleeds into the bowl and reads out the Enochian.

The whole Bunker rumbles ominously, before the overhead lights pop out, one by one.

Dean almost laughs - or cries. Hard to tell in the dark.

Shadows bubble up from the middle of the floor, blacker than anything else in the room. Dean adjusts his grip on his scythe, waiting with bated breath as the tarry, otherworldly substance takes a humanoid shape.

It settles on a body and a face, and Dean sees red. He stabs it straight in its trenchcoated chest, right where its heart would be.

The Empty stares down at the blade, its expression turning to wry amusement. “I believe the saying is ‘deja vu’?”

“Shut up,” Dean hisses. He yanks his scythe back as, behind him, Sam snaps his fingers. A few of the lights repair themselves. To the Empty, Dean growls, “Wear someone else’s face.”

The Empty bristles like it’s almost offended. “No?”

Sam pulls Dean behind him before Dean can stab it again. “Hi,” he says loudly over Dean’s angry spluttering, “I know we got off on the wrong foot last time, but-”

“Wrong foot?” the Empty interrupts, head tilting.

Dean’s fingers tighten around his scythe. How dare that thing wear Cas’s face, do Cas’s thing, talk like Cas. Only Sam’s arm in front of his chest stops Dean from surging forward and finishing what he started. 

“Yeah,” Sam says with a warning look at Dean. “In Death’s library - well, old Death. Dean uses a hard drive to store all his books of fate now. Look, you’re probably still pissed I woke you up, but all we need is one thing, and then we won’t bother you again.”

“Oh,” the Empty says. Its forehead furrows in a way Dean had seen on Cas too many times. The burning ache of regret flares with a new heat, and Dean glares murderously at the Empty as it says, “That wasn’t me.”

Sam’s mouth opens and closes. “What?”

The Empty clears its throat. “You met the old Empty. Billie and I killed it before she died.”

“The Empty can die?” Dean asks roughly.

It nods, its attention turning to Dean almost hungrily. “It was weakened from Jack’s explosion. Billie didn’t want to help me, naturally. But if the last Empty was still in charge, Billie’s final rest would have been far from peaceful.” It smiles. “I could also guarantee she would never have to see any of us ever again.”

“And who’re you?” Dean demands.

The smile drops off the Empty’s face. “You don’t know? After all this time?”

Dean swallows, a terrible, wonderful hope struggling to breathe in his chest. He tries, his voice almost a whisper. “Cas?” 

The Empty nods, the corners of his mouth twitching up. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean turns to Sam for verification because there’s no fucking way Dean trusts himself anymore when it comes to Cas. But Sam’s face reads nothing but mingled relief and joy, so -

Dean lets the scythe drop with a clatter and strides forward on shaky legs. Cas tenses like he’s bracing for impact. “It’s alright,” Dean tells him in a low voice as he squeezes tight. Cas is real, alive (or alive as any of them are at this point), and back in the Bunker where he belongs. “I got you, Cas.”

Cas sighs, an exhale of bone-deep weariness. He buries his face deeper in the crook of Dean’s neck. Dean holds on even though it’s been way too long for a normal hug. But hell, Cas fucking loves him. Cas can deal with a little extra hug time.

Sam coughs pointedly as he steps up for his own hug. “It’s good to have you back, man.”

Cas smiles as he accepts a few manly back slaps from Sam. 

Jack rushes forward for his turn. 

“Jack,” Cas says reverently as he wraps his arms around him. “You’ve done so well.”

“Thank you,” Jack says, his voice cracking. “I missed you, Cas.”

Cas just shakes his head, overcome with emotion. “I’m very happy to see you.” He mutters a few words, too low for any of them to hear, as he disentangles himself from Jack’s arms. He looks around at the three of them. “I’d say you all are doing very well for yourselves.”

Grinning, Dean picks up his scythe and gives it a little spin. “Gee, what gave it away?” He sobers as Cas doesn’t say anything, just stares at him with an unreadable expression on his face. “But you already knew that,” Dean surmises.

“Chuck told me.”

Sam's eyes go wide. “Chuck?” 

“When he died, he was sent to the Empty,” Cas says shortly. “To me.”

Sam grimaces. “Sorry.”

Cas’s lips press together in a thin line. “It took forever for him to shut up. I suppose I should have expected it.” He sighs. “Chuck always did pride himself on being a storyteller.”

“And a dick,” Sam adds. 

 “Chuck told me about how you defeated him - his ‘greatest creations’,” Cas quotes sourly, “and about the cosmic consequences, which included a changing of the guard - God, the Darkness, Death,” he shakes his head, adding, “the Empty.”

“This was his plan?” Dean growls, his voice a mixture of anger and surprise. But his rage dies as Cas slowly shakes his head. 

“Not exactly, but he said he could appreciate the symmetry.”

“Of course he could.” Dean runs a hand down his face. “Jesus Christ, please tell me that’s the end of him.”

“I have complete control over the Empty,” Cas assures, “He isn’t waking up any time soon.”

“Oh,” Dean says awkwardly, “good. That’s good.”

Reluctantly, Cas tears his gaze away from Dean. He straightens, his mouth set determinedly, and asks Sam, “There was something you wanted?”

Sam shakes his head, his eyes dancing with amusement. “Not anymore.”

Cas’s brow furrows. “If you need anything from the Empty, I can give it to you.” He glances at each of them in turn. “As I told you once, I am always happy to bleed for the Winchesters.”

“No,” Dean chokes out before Sam or Jack can get a word in, “No goddamn bleeding - of any kind. Just, no.”

Cas’s frown deepens.

Sam grins. “We were gonna ask the Empty to wake you up. So I guess… we’re good.”

Cas blinks a few times in confusion. “You wanted… me?”

Jack throws him an incredulous look. “You’re a part of us, Cas. Of course we wanted you here.”

* * *

Dean makes burgers for dinner. Even though none of them need to eat, they’re far too used to it to stop. By the stove, he listens with half an ear as Jack peppers Cas with updates on the new world order and high school. Every once in a while, Sam’s voice comes through with a few modifiers and anecdotes.

Jack turns in first, complaining about leftover homework.

Sam takes off next, saying he promised to buy bread and eggs on the way home to Eileen. He leaves Dean and Cas alone in the Bunker’s kitchen.

Neither of them say anything as Sam’s footsteps fade up the stairs to the exit. Dean steadily keeps his eyes trained on the half-empty beer bottle spinning around in his hands. Cas sits next to him at the table, happy as a fucking clam to sit in silence, staring at Dean like he’s a goddamn miracle.

It’s too much.

This is why Dean didn’t jump to bring Cas back to the land of the living. It tore him apart inside, like metaphorical hellhound claws digging into his gut. Sure, Cas deserved to be topside. Cas deserved to have his happy ever after like the rest of Team Free Will 2.0. What Cas didn’t deserve, was a man with his head so far up his own ass he couldn’t muster up three measly words when they mattered most. And Dean had no idea how to tell Cas any of that.

“Dean,” Cas breaks the silence first because for all he said in his big goodbye speech, Dean’s a fucking coward. “I didn’t think I would ever see you again,” he clears his throat, “so I didn’t anticipate the position I would put you in by showing up. I apologize.”

Dean turns to him, alarmed. “No, don’t apologize. It’s my - I should have - you were - son of a bitch.” He presses his lips together so he doesn’t go blurting something stupid like you were so wrong about me; it fucked me up for a while.

“It’s okay,” Cas says gently. “I’ve seen Jack and you and Sam. That’s all I wanted since I left. Truly.”

Dean sucks in a breath, his pulse spiking with fear. “That sounds like another goodbye. I don’t - I don’t think I can take another one of those from you.”

Cas blinks. “You want me to stay?”

Dean’s mouth works furiously before he demands, “You don’t want to?”

“No,” Cas draws out slowly like he’s concerned for Dean’s sanity, “but if my presence-”

“Stop,” Dean holds up a hand, “just ‘cause I don’t know what to say to you -” liar “- doesn’t mean you have to get exiled from the whole planet. You saved the world, the same as us. The very least you get is free rent for eternity.” 

“If you say so,” Cas says doubtfully.

“Jack would be real upset if you fucked back off to the Empty for the rest of time,” Dean adds. “He’s studying the Roman Empire and could use some help from someone who was there.” He takes a sip of beer, and fuck cosmic tolerances. He could drink a whole liquor store and not feel anything. 

The corners of Cas’s mouth twitch. “I was actually stationed in China during that time. I would be a minor help at best.”

“Then make it up,” Dean says with a grin. “It’s not like Jack will know the difference. And if his teachers call him out on it, Sam can wave his magic wand and make it true anyway. All hail President Clinton.”

Cas snorts. “That would be one way to help, I suppose.”

Dean drains his beer, a purely instinctual response, before he starts, “You’ve levelled up. Got a power upgrade as the Empty.” At Cas’s tentative nod, he goes on, “You could’ve said something, dude. Given us some sign. I - we all thought you died. For good.”

“I cannot come to Earth without being summoned,” Cas says heavily.

Dean makes a face. “Rules like that never stopped any of us before.”

“You could have performed the summoning ritual at any time - all the cards were in your hands.” Cas’s gaze drops to the table. “I thought you didn’t want to see me.”

Dean shakes his head vehemently. “That wasn’t the case at all.”

“But you said you don’t know how to talk to me,” Cas points out.

Dean swallows. “Doesn’t mean I don’t want you around. I didn’t know how to talk to you when you were cuckoo for cocoa puffs, when you had fucking amnesia. Hell, it was even weird when you were human. But things are… better with you here. No matter what.”

“Really?” Cas asks, the doubt clear in his voice.

“Of course,” Dean says gruffly. “You gotta know that.”

“I didn’t.”

“Yeah, well,” Dean says as he gets up for another drink - old habits, “now you do.”

“Do you still believe this?” Cas presses.

“Never doubted it for a second,” Dean promises as he sits back down.

“Even after you sent me away?” Cas asks quietly.

“Hey,” Dean says sharply, “You made that choice to walk out that door.” But that old anger doesn’t survive long in the wake of the look on Cas’s face. Dean smiles humorlessly as he twists the cap off. It clatters to the table, the sound echoing around the empty kitchen. “But, yeah, that was me being angry over a bunch of shit that was out of our control. Not you. You just happened to be in my line of fire.” Dean takes a long pull from the bottle. “What a guy to fall for, huh? Blames you for everything that goes wrong and makes you think you’re better off gone.”

Cas freezes. “So we’re talking about it?”

Dean raises his eyebrows, half in surprise at himself. “Guess so.”

“Nothing has to change,” Cas assures him. “The only difference is you know about my feelings for you.”

“How long have you had them?” Dean asks with a casual air that’s one-hundred percent, Grade-A bullshit. 

Cas presses his lips together as he thinks. “Since you took me to that brothel.”

Dean chokes on his drink. “Seriously?”

Cas ducks his head, a surprisingly human gesture of embarrassment. “I didn’t know it then,” he says in a low voice, “all I knew was that I wanted to impress you. I had never felt that way about anyone before, except God.”

“Gross, man.”

Cas purses his lips. “Not like that.” He sighs. “But I suppose it happened the year I made that deal with Crowley.” He reaches for his own beer bottle, long emptied sometime in the middle of dinner. He spins it between his fingers contemplatively. “I told myself I made the deal to make the world safer for you, so you could live out your retirement in peace. But it was just a convenient ploy to keep myself busy. You didn’t need me for the first time since Hell.” He presses his lips together. “My love for you made me reckless and blind, as approximately 231,600 love songs could have told me, if I had bothered to listen to any of them.”

Dean chuckles. “It probably would have been better if you just had an emo phase.” At Cas’s frown of confusion, Dean waves it off, “Forget it. It’s water under the bridge anyway.” He sips his beer. “Since the Purgatory deal? That’s a long time.”

“Not for an angel,” Cas counters. “I’m extremely old.”

Dean snorts a laugh. “Touché.”

“You’re not going to ask why I never told you before?”

Dean shakes his head. “You made that pretty clear in your little goodbye speech. ‘The one thing I want, is something I know I can’t have’,” he rattles off the phrase that had been bouncing around his skull for the past month and a half.

Cas bites his lip, a shade of hurt lurking behind his eyes at hearing his words parroted back to him. “I had always known my feelings were fruitless. Telling you was more of an act for myself than for you,” he says to the table, “but I didn’t think I would be around to know what that meant for us.”

“I get that,” Dean says haltingly, “but they’re not.”

“They’re not what?”

Dean forcibly lets go of his empty beer bottle because he’s going to shatter it if he says this next bit with glass between his hands. “Your feelings. They’re not fruitless. They’re, uh, pretty fucking fruity.”

Cas’s mouth opens and closes, his eyes narrowing with suspicion. “Is that a dated and offensive reference to homosexuality?”

“What?” Dean yelps, “No!”

Cas sits there, nonplussed.

“Your feelings,” Dean says through gritted teeth. “What you want. You can have it.”

Cas makes a frustrated noise in the back of his throat. “I don’t understand.”

“Of course you don’t,” Dean mutters. “Even with all of history crammed in your noggin, you don’t get it. Fine.” He shifts in his seat so he can face Cas fully. “Let me clear things up for you. Just… smite me if I cross a line.”

“Dean,” Cas protests, “As the Empty, I can’t smite any-”

Dean cuts him off with a kiss.

As far as first kisses go, it’s passable. Cas clearly has some experience - he doesn’t go straight for the tongue, but he’s frozen for so long, Dean almost pulls away to check if he drastically miscalculated. But Cas exhales, tentative hands wrap around Dean’s forearms, and he pulls Dean in closer. Dean smiles against his mouth, small puffs of laughter escaping as Cas’s nose bumps against his. He cups Cas’s jaw in one hand, and Cas lets out a little sigh, melting the last few layers of Dean’s reservations about this whole business.

It’s the promise in the kiss that makes it awesome. This isn’t their end. For once, the world isn’t on fire, and they’re not playing catch up with an apocalypse.

It’s just them, Death and the Empty.

The Endgame for every human, angel, and demon on Earth.

Suck it, Chuck. That’s fucking symmetry.

[representativecharacters]

Characters: Castiel, Dean Winchester

From: Supernatural

Representation: mlm (*see “issues” section), abuse survivor (Dean) 

Their Importance: Dean and Cas are two characters that many in fandom viewed as LGBTQIA+, with the common belief being that Dean Winchester is bisexual. 

There’s a lot about Supernatural and Destiel, and Dean in general, which I’ll go over in the “issues” section, but I think many people in fandom didn’t expect for the show to actually go anywhere with them - until 15x18, when Cas confesses his love to Dean. It’s riddled with issues, yes, but just speaking as a bi girl who’s been watching Supernatural for a decade now, watching Cas confess his love for Dean was just so incredibly validating. It validated that I - and other fans - weren’t delusional when looking for representation from Cas (and Dean). Cas is a wonderful character and gave a new life to the show, and has been a fixture of the show for 10 years. While like with every character he has his ups and downs, he is a kind, loving character, and the only main character who actually survives the show. Despite the issues on the show, knowing that Cas is canonically LGBT+ is something that’s comforting and validating to me, and continues to be so even as Supernatural kind of trainwrecks around everything else. 

For myself, watching the show, I saw a lot of myself and my journey in Dean. Watching him grow and develop as a character, and try to experience happiness and find comfort in his found family was wonderful for me to see. I started this show when I was a young closeted kid, and I clung to Dean in a way that I didn’t fully understand until years later. I didn’t actually expect him to be explicitly mlm in the show, and for the most part, that didn’t happen - until the Spanish dub. There, we see the romantic reciprocation to Cas, and that’s something that is real and cannot be taken away. In fact, although it was said that it was a “rogue” translator, the episode will not be redubbed, so it is canon in a version of the show. Despite the fact that he didn’t get canonized in a way I expected or would have ever hoped, it still does give me some joy to know that he is canonically LGBT+ (and in my opinion, bi, although there is no actual label given to Dean). Even if it’s not in the version of the show I watched, I can go back and watch the Spanish dub of the episode and see that representation happen onscreen, and that means something to me. 

Issues: The issues list for this show is a mile long, so I’ve split it up into sections and put most of it under a read more:

Dean + Canon Rep: Trying to wade through if Dean is actually canonically LGBTQ+ was....a struggle, to say the least, and I almost didn’t put him into this submission. If you watch the show in English, Dean never once actually reciprocates feelings for Cas, states that he’s into men, or is even confirmed to be in a relationship with other men. Although for many, it is implied, the average audience member may not see Dean as canonically LGBTQ+. However, in the Spanish dub of the show, when Castiel confesses his love to Dean (which is an explicit romantic “I love you”), Dean says “y yo a ti”, which is a reciprocation of Cas’s romantic confession. This post is very long as it is, so I want to link to @destielintheimpala’s timeline of events that occurred for Supernatural and I think it best lays out all the issues about 15x18-20, why it’s been so difficult trying to figure out Dean’s sexuality in canon, why fandom is upset, and can clear up any misinformation. This situation also goes into queerbaiting quite a bit (something Supernatural is infamously known for), which you can read in this article from @thecoolestfreakyouknow. 

Reading Dean as a queer character as well - having a character who is queer (or queercoded) and an abuse survivor and then immediately killing him off is also a huge problem. As mentioned in the link above, Jensen Ackles himself felt uneasy about Dean’s ending, and many Dean fans felt the same way. To have a character suffer through abuse and traumas for 15 seasons, imply or straight out have him be LGBT+ (depending on the canon), and then immediately killing him off in the finale is needless to say, an odd choice. 

Also, with Dean being an abuse survivor - his father, John Winchester, is commonly shown to be neglectful throughout the show, and Dean has to raise his younger brother Sam by himself most times. He expresses trauma from the experiences he’s had growing up with their father and being forced to hunt at a young age. However, the show weirdly seems to flip flop on their portrayal of John, despite also specifically stating that what he put his children through was child abuse. They have Sam telling John that he did the best he could, they have characters excusing away John’s actions, etc. - it was like the writers themselves couldn’t figure out if they wanted John to have been an abusive parent or not. The show ends with John in Heaven with Mary - thus absolving John of his actions and putting him in the same Heaven with the children he abused. 

Castiel: Cas confesses his love for Dean in 15x18, but gets dragged away to a void called “The Empty” immediately afterwards, where he’s meant to be suffering for all of eternity. Cas does get out of The Empty, and even helps to rebuild Heaven - he’s actually one of the few characters to survive the finale - but he never appears onscreen again after 15x18, so fans’ last image of him is getting dragged away to The Empty. Dean never has a follow-up conversation, and there was only one line referencing Cas’s fate, so many fans believed he was still in The Empty suffering.

As the timeline linked above shows, the situation around Destiel is an odd one - the Spanish dub, cast’s overall silence, the lack of Misha Collins in the finale all led fans to believe that something was switched around last minute in terms of Dean’s sexuality and Destiel as a general ship. Obviously, this is speculation unless someone from the show explicitly comes out and says that fans are correct, but it’s included in the issues section because - regardless of it it turns out to be true or not - it’s such a big part of the issues currently surrounding Supernatural and canon representation. In any case, however, Castiel’s confession in 15x18 gave fans hope where they may not have had hope before, and then it was unceremoniously dropped with no real follow up - from a writing standpoint, it isn’t good writing to confirm a major character as queer via a love confession and then never go back to that plot point. While I’m happy that Cas is canonically queer and I’m not trying to say that I would rather not have more representation, I do look back on the show and wonder, with the story that made it to screen, what the actual point of writing that in was. 

As mentioned before, Castiel was a main character on the show for 10 years - while I’m glad that his character survives the series, to not have him show up in the final two episodes (particularly the finale, and especially after canonically making him LGBTQ+) felt like a slap in the face to both the character and the audience who loved him. 

Miscellaneous treatment of characters: In general, Supernatural has many problems in its treatment of female, characters of color, and LGBTQ+ characters. Alongside being incredibly underrepresented in the show, if they do show up, they are commonly tortured, treated poorly, and/or killed off (if not all of the above). Even thinking about their recurring characters who are also representative - Kevin, their only recurring Asian character, is killed off and appears as a ghost multiple times, Charlie, who is a lesbian, gets killed off and replaced in the show with an Alternate Universe version of herself, Eileen, a Deaf woman, gets killed off and then is brought back and is implied to survive the show, but like Cas, never actually shows up in the final two episodes even though she’s Sam’s girlfriend. I can think of very few minority characters in the show in general, much less those who got any type of happy ending. 

[hot-tea-gardenparty]

After this past week’s incredible episode (15.18) and the Destiel canon reveal, my imagination was having a damn field day with how many ways the story could go in the finale. I have so many ideas and have been speculating so much (and literally have no one to physically talk to about it in my real life) that I just had to get them down and share them with you all.

Just a quick note before you read on:

I am definitely not saying any of the following ideas will actually come to fruition during the last two episodes of Supernatural Season 15. This is being posted just for fun and not to be taken as serious spec or meta. If you’d like to read serious meta there are so many other wonderfully detailed and thoroughly researched metas, specs or deep-dives out there by incredibly talented and intelligent fans like @verobatto-angelxhunter​, @amwritingmeta​ and @wigglebox. So please go check those blogs out if you are in need of something a little more cohesive and less....flail-y and fangirl-y.

With that said....let’s get on to the fun stuff....what I’d like to see or what I think we might see happen during the finale of Supernatural!

I would love Castiel coming to save the day somehow. He doesn’t need to be the final source that brings down Chuck, as I think that would be best saved for the Winchester brothers (since they have been the main target for the pain and control under Chuck.) What I mean is that I want Castiel to serve SOME important purpose, whether that be him bringing the angels back with him from the Empty (either to fight Chuck or just near the very end as a saving heaven move) or him helping turn the Empty against Chuck so that the Empty aids in lowering Chuck’s ability to fight back. OR….and this is my favorite idea, that Castiel’s positive influence over Dean, the love Cas has shown the Winchester brothers, the intense faith he had in the power of love….makes Dean and Sam fight Chuck not with intense anger and confusion, but with a realized faith in themselves, their abilities and their trust in each other.

My personal feelings on Cas’ return will be that his rescue will take place in the finale episode or (less possibly) during the final half of 15.19. It should at least be set up by the end minutes of 15.19 and hopefully set in motion by Dean, knowing he can get Castiel out of the Empty because he is DEAN FUCKING WINCHESTER AND HE LOVES HIS ANGEL SO HE IS GONNA RESCUE HIM GOD-DAMMIT.  It is also my belief that Jack will be the one with the ability to “open” or “get access to” the Empty for Dean to go in and get the love of his life back.

I see all the people who “poofed” away in 15.18 coming back once Chuck is gone….it may not be that easy but I can’t expect it to be too difficult (because we only have two eps left). Sam will get Eileen back by the end of 15.19 or the beginning of 15.20 before Dean gets Cas back because Chuck will be defeated before Cas can return.

Castiel’s rescue will take place in the finale. Like I said above, I think the set up for the rescue will take place at the end of 15.19 and the actual rescue will be the finale episode. Or at least that would be my ideal pacing of the events. I want an entire episode (or at least the most of one) focused on Dean’s intent to get Castiel back. I also want Sam and Jack specifically focused on getting Cas back as well. Castiel means just as much to them as a father and friend for them to leave the rescuing up to Dean. Jack will do the ‘waking-up’ of Castiel just like before. Jack will open the, proverbial, door to the Empty for Dean to walk through. I keep flip flopping on if I think Sam would be there in the Empty too or not….there are pros and cons either way. I am more leaning on the side of no Sam, in this particular situation since I am a Destiel clown and just want Castiel to hear from Dean how much he is loved and wanted.  Castiel can always hear about how much he is loved by Sam and Jack a little later.

My imagination sees Dean end up in the black void of the Empty and he sees nothing for a minute, until the Empty entity shows up (maybe wearing Dean’s face?) and they have a tense discussion about Castiel and letting him go. I do not think the Empty will ‘die’ or disappear. The Empty will remain. So with that in mind….is it just intimidation Dean would use to get past the entity (possibly using Jack as the powerful being on their side) or would it be more of a ‘hey you can go back to sleep and everything will go back to normal’ kind of persuasion? I am leaning towards the second option….but again that’s just my own ideal path the story could go down.

Once the Empty entity is dealt with…Dean finds Castiel. How this happens, I literally can’t fathom. I am still a little at a loss of how the Empty truly works, so I am not sure if Dean could ‘walk around to find him’ as it were…or if Castiel could just be manifested in front of him….*shrugs* BUT if I had my way, I would love for Dean to have to call out to Cas somehow to find him. What I mean is that I would love to have Dean need to pray for Cas to return to him or for their profound bound to bring them naturally together (like it did in Purgatory earlier in the season). Like Dean could just think of how much he loves Cas and needs Cas and then suddenly…out of the ether…. manifesting and slowly walking towards him, is Castiel.

Castiel will not believe Dean is there, he will believe the Empty is taunting him again. Dean has to convince Cas that it is truly him…that he is here to rescue him. What I would love to hear from Dean would be something like this (I apologize for the following horribly corny dialogue, this is a quick run-through, not meant to be taken super seriously):

   Dean: It’s me, Cas. It’s really me. I’m here to take you back. You need to be with us, with Sam, with Jack…..with me. You’re family, Cas. You’re my family.

    Cas: Dean, I can’t leave. The Empty….

    Dean: I’ve dealt with the Empty.

    Cas: Dealt with the Empty…? Dean how….?

    Dean: Cas, please. Please, I…I don’t know if I can do this without you.

    Cas: Do what…?

 Dean: I don’t think I can do….life…without you….because I love you too, Cas. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to say it but I do. I love you. I’ve known I loved you for years, I just never had the balls to admit it. You’ve seen me at my worst, over and over again and yet you never left me. You’ve put your ass on the line for me and Sam more times than we can even count. You were always the one with free will. The most out of all of us. You saved us, Cas. You saved the world. You saved me.

DEAN PUTS OUT HIS HAND, PALM UP.

CAS TAKES HIS HAND, DEAN PULLING CAS IN CLOSE, A HAND AROUND THE BACK OF CAS’ NECK.

DEAN KISSES CAS.

  Dean: So, I am here to grip you tight and bring you home.

Now this piece is just 100% my own selfish desire: It would be great if somewhere in the whole, Cas-leaving-the-Empty rescue that Cas must chose to become human. The Empty will tell Dean that sure, Cas can leave, but he cannot leave if he is still an angel….he needs to lose his grace. (Honestly, I just really want a human Cas by the end of the show…it just seems like that would be a wonderful full-circle way of wrapping up his story…choosing to live within the humanity he so loves.)

Okay on to the final scenes…..like I am talking the very final scenes, right before we cut to the black THE END title card.

I would love a final scene that involves Dean and Sam sitting on the hood of the Impala, discussing what they will do for the rest of their lives now that they are fully free of Chuck’s grasp. They are at a rocky beach (something like Oregon’s coastline) and the sky is clear and sun glints off of Baby’s shiny black paint. It’s about a week after defeating Chuck and getting Cas back. Dean asks Sam if he’s talked with Eileen at all. Sam will reply that they’ve been talking about getting together at her house for a few days, to get to know each other better. Dean will chuckle, make a joke about Sam’s sex life, but Sam will immediately get serious and ask if Dean will be okay with that plan. Will Dean be okay in the absence of his brother? Dean will think for a second…his eyes wandering off to where, off in the near distance, Castiel and Jack are out on the sandy part of the beach, smiles on both their faces as they have a conversation. Castiel is more relaxed than Dean’s seen in a long while, his trench coat, suit jacket and blue tie all abandoned in the trunk of the car….his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows, his hair a mess from the wind. Dean will smile and reply, eyes not leaving Castiel down on the beach, “Yeah, I think I’ll be just fine.”

Or ya-know....something like that.

Anyways….those are the ideas floating around in my head. Again, DO NOT take any of these as serious spec on the finale, I am honestly just having some fun imagining all the different scenarios that could happen.

Let me know your ideas for the finale if you’d like as well! I’d love to hear them and what you think would be the perfect ending to Supernatural.

[67impalaandwhisky]

Destiny Is Heaven Sent

Summary: Knowing Dean Winchester since you were fifteen, you’ve always been pulled in his direction. Always wanting to open up the rattled and broken cage your heart lives in. But when the child you’ve been raising together dies, you find yourself closing up the cage of your heart again. And if destiny has one thing for you, it’s to break you down before bringing you back up.

Characters: Dean x You, Sam, Castiel, Bobby, OFC’s, OMC’s, (Ongoing)

This Series Is Set Through Seasons 1-6 With Knowledge That The Bunker Exists

Rating: 18+

Warnings (Ongoing and Will Be Updated): Grieving, Mentions of Rape and Defilement (As Per A Case), Show Level Violence, Swearing, Smut, Impreg Kink, Blood, Fighting, Drinking, Dean Being Dean, Fluff, Angst, Dom!Dean, Sub!Reader

Warnings For This Chapter: Grieving Over Dead OMC, Drinking, Swearing, Flirting

A/N: This is my first Supernatural fic ever! I’ve been writing for a while and have adored Supernatural since the beginning so I’m really excited for this series and I hope everyone enjoys it!

Chapter 2.

"Good morning!" Dean yells out as he unlocks the motel room door. 

To his surprise, neither his brother nor you were there to greet him. 

He furrows his eyebrows before looking at what should be his bed to see the sheets wrinkled and messed up. He was happy that you slept in his bed and not in Sam's like you've done throughout all these years.

He knows you would never get intimate with his brother, but he can't help the heart wrenching curiosity of it all. He shouldn't have slept with that girl last night, but he did to ease his pain. 

You both handle your grief differently and yet, it's the same.

He finds women to distract him, he makes offensive jokes to cover his cowardly self. He does all the things an asshole would do to stop the pain from spreading through his limbs and to his heart.

You barrel your anger towards anything and anyone. You completely shield yourself from the world like everything will hurt you, because it does. You drink the pain away until you're numb with relief. 

Two ways of dealing. Both disappointing to one another.

He lays down on the bed, grabbing the pillow and pressing it to his face as he sighs.

The smell of lavender and oak invade his senses. It was so you. It was home. 

He lets out a groan before flipping on his back and staring up at the water stained ceiling. 

You pretend to never love anything. Never give a fuck about a single thing. But, one thing you did love was Marsh. And, you weren't afraid to show it.

You would baby him and hold him like he tethered you to the planet because he probably did. 

He turned you all into a closer family then you were before. He made things domestic in the bunker. 

He made Dean feel like he finally had a chance. You felt like his wife, someone who he would bicker with and laugh with. Someone who discussed their son's attitude and his problems.

You were like his life partner. Until that fateful day.

"Good job, baby." You say sweetly as Marsh puts the gun down on the table.

Dean steps over, inspecting the shooting range sheet. 

"Hey dad?" The puberty cracking the young boy's voice makes his adopted father smirk as he pulls the sheet off of it's holder.

"Yeah bud?" He asks as he walks back over. 

His eyes catch a glimpse of the woman he's known for years as she combs her fingers through the soft brunette locks of the young boy in their care. 

She loved him so dearly. Finally having someone to care for. 

"Uncle Sammy said he found an easy job and I wanna help...Can I come with you, mom and Uncle Sammy?" He looks over at you and there's an unspoken conversation just with your eyes.

He's getting older and he wants to do this. He wants this life. He wants to prove himself. Dean can see his willpower and his need to grow up. 

When his father was younger, John treated him and Sam like recruits rather than his children. Dean chose to take it a different way, letting Marsh decide when he was ready and he says he's ready now.

They have to respect this.

"Sure you can, baby." You whisper before kissing his forehead and smiling at him.

"Hello Dean." The voice rips him from his memories and he sits up quickly with his hand over his heart.

"Goddammit! What do you want, Cas?" He barks out as he lays back down on the bed.

He hugs the pillow tightly to his body as the angel sits down on Sam's bed.

"I would like you to fall in love with Y/N." Cas says as he puts his hands on his knees calmly.

He lets out a sharp laugh before throwing the pillow at Castiel.

"Not this again!" He says as Cas gently places the pillow on his lap.

"You must do this Dean. You must make a child with her. It's your destiny." Dean sits up quickly, frustration starting to seep into his bones as he points at his friend.

"You don't get to sit there and tell me about destiny. You hear me? You telling me that I'm supposed to fall in love with her makes me hate the fucking idea. That we're supposed to get pregnant and have a kid? For what? So they-they could be a vessel just in case something wants to come crawling back and inhabit my kid? No thanks!" His voice is sharp and agitated as he walks over to the small fridge and grabs a beer.

It's five o'clock somewhere.

"I know this is...difficult for you to understand but-"

"God-fucking-dammit Castiel. It's not difficult at all to understand! I've known Y/N since I'm fifteen years old. I've loved her from the moment I saw her. I raised a kid with her. And you know what I can't do?! I can't show her how much I love her or be with her because of this stupid destiny crap." He says before chugging his beer and slamming the bottle down on the table.

There's silence in the motel room for a while. Closing his eyes, he knows Cas is still there. He didn't hear wings flutter and he can practically feel his gaze burning through his skin to his heart.

"Yes. I understand." Cas says quietly.

"No. You don't." Dean says simply before putting his hands over his face and sighing.

"You might see how I feel. You might be able to get a glimpse of it in my mind but you don't know a damn thing about what goes through my head. I thought I had something good. Was working up to something great with her. And then Marsh died and she's right back to how she was when we first met. When we were fifteen. You don't know how destroyed I am." He says finitely, waving his hand as if to tell his friend to just stop talking.

Dean opens his eyes to the empty room before scoffing loudly. The tip of his tongue laps over his bottom lip as he leans back against the counter. 

You are his everything and his nothing all at once. 

Picking up the beer bottle, he flings it across the room only to watch the brown glass shatter into small pieces.

"Hi, I'm Agent Simmons and this is Agent Thayer we're with the FBI." You say, holding up the badge to the coroner.

"Great, thanks for coming KISS but I already told everything to the sheriff. If you didn't read the report." The older man says as he gives a short glance to your badges.

"Right. No of course, but we're looking into it because the case is so odd. So if you could just tell us what you told the sheriff. We would appreciate it." Sam says as you walk along the corridor. 

"Well you got that right, kid. Odd isn't even the word. Try freaky." He says as he pulls open one of the smaller doors that line the wall.

You can smell bleach along with the underlying scent of decay. Grimacing you focus on the covered body as it rolls out of the wall unit. 

This was never the most fun job but it beats waiting at the motel for Sam to get back, or worse. Dean.

You couldn't help but be bitter that he didn't show back up last night. Too deep into the pussy that he got last night to even think of you.

Even though there's no reason why he should think of you.

You weren't together. You've never been together.

He made that clear when you both were seventeen. He could see how comfortable you were with him. Flirting and giggling all the while as you helped his father out with jobs.

John encouraged canoodling between you two, honestly. And you think it put Dean off. Or maybe it was just you in your entirety that he was putting off.

He would only flirt and tease playfully when he was drunk. And, as you got older and went out to bars you noticed that he did it with everyone. But, you were comforted when he laid it on thicker with them. Almost like he could just be himself around you.

"So what are we looking at here?" Sam mumbles as he grimaces.

You put your hand over your mouth, happy for the distraction even though this is so fucked up, as the sheet is taken off her body.

"We had to vacuum out her insides. It was all mush. But her kidneys were intact which was odd. And this." Spreading the girls legs, you can see black, thick goo shining like oil on her thighs.

"Haven't gotten the test results back yet on what exactly this stuff is." Swallowing uncomfortably, you look away before shivering.

"Got it." Sam whispers and you can practically hear the gag in his voice.

"I hope you catch the son of a bitch. Or at least make out heads or tails of what's going on." The coroner says covering up the body.

"Jesus." You whisper before closing your eyes.

"Thank you. We'll see ourselves out." He says before putting his hand on the small of your back and walking you out of the room.

"Absolutely disgusting." You say to him as he undoes his tie, weaving through people in the hallway before ending up back next to you.

"What is going on? I've never seen that before." He says dumbfounded. 

"What ghost has the mojo to do that? Ectoplasm cum? That's just insane." You say as you both shove the doors open.

"Hey Y/N...do you wanna talk?" Sam asks as he makes his way towards your car.

You stop in your tracks before tilting your head.

"What Dean did last night… It wasn't right of him. And, I know you must be feeli-"

"Keep it to yourself kid. I'm as fresh as a daisy." You cut him off as you unlock your car.

"Yeah… Okay… Right. I just-- I'm here to talk to you always, you're my best friend y'know?" Sam says gently as he climbs into the car with you.

"I know Sammy." You mumble as the engine purrs to life.

Too bad there's nothing to talk about.

Ending up back at the motel. You shove the door open to Dean and some random chick as she sits on his lap.

Your jaw clicks and you throw his bag of food beside him before walking over to the fridge and grabbing a beer.

"Hey Y/N. This is Candy." You scoff in disbelief and your heart clenches as you press the bottle cap lid above the corner of the table. 

Slamming your hand down, the cap pops off easily and you give a fake, terse smirk to the girl as she waves.

There was a time when Dean called you 'Candy girl' for a completely different reason. It was a pet name you cherished but now you think it's sickening.

"Candy girl!" Dean calls to you as you put your rifle back together. 

You look up, one eye squinting from the blazing sun as he holds out a chocolate bar.

"Oh man! I love Twix." You say grabbing it from his hand. 

"I know. That's why I got it for you." He says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"This is why you call me Candy girl?" You ask lightheartedly as you rip open the packaging.

He pushes the hood of Baby up before turning his head slowly to you.

"No. I call you Candy girl because you're the sweetest woman in my life. God. You moron." He mutters before burying himself inside the front of his car.

"Get out." You tell her as Sam enters the room.

His eyes go wide and he looks at you quickly before swallowing thickly.

"Oh Y/N. Come on…" Dean whispers at the fierceness of your voice.

You look at him expectantly before chugging your beer and wiping at your mouth with your thumb. 

"Dean Abel." You mutter as you grab another beer.

"Okay, sweetheart. You heard the boss. No fun for me today." He says as he runs his hands over her arms. 

You are so grateful he has never uttered the word sweetheart to you.

It makes you feel as if you're a smidgeon different then all the other women he's ever known.

You don't watch as she leaves but you can hear her heels clicking and you can see Sam move out of the way out of the corner of your eye.

You take in the broken glass by the bathroom before shaking your head slightly.

"Why don't you do some fucking work or something?" You ask him as the door gets swung shut.

"I was doing work. Apparently our dead girl was a prostitute that worked with Candy." You hum to him before leaning back against the counter.

"So that's what you do now? You pay for it? Last night you seemed to like getting it for free." You mumble as you grab another beer. 

Sam flinches while Dean raises his eyebrows towards the heavens.

"Got something to say to me, Candy girl?" Dean asks with a laugh.

That's it.

"Y/N!" Sam screams as you charge at his brother. 

The bottle of beer smashes onto the floor, your feet stepping into the puddle of hops and suds as you ball up your fist.

"Bring it on." The oldest whispers as he clenches his jaw.

"STOP IT!" Sam bellows as he wraps his arms around you.

You struggle against his vice grip, your tongue running over your teeth as you smile at your best friend. 

"Can't you see how horrible you're being to each other? Beating each other up and taking your guilt about Marsh's death out on one another?!" The younger brother asks as he throws you down onto the bed.

"Sam. Don't." The authority in Dean's voice makes you swallow nervously.

"I miss him too, Dean. We all miss him. But you can't keep beating yourselves up like this. You can't keep treating each other like shit when it's not your fault he died. He wanted to go with us!" His voice cracks as he puts his hands down to his sides dejectedly.

"I said don't!" His brother barks out before looking at you.

You didn't even realize you were crying until now. You press your fingers to your cheek, gathering a tear as it falls before scoffing and wiping your face.

"Fuck this." You whisper as you stand up.

"Where are you going?!" You hear the oldest call to you as you walk to the door.

"Away from you." You mumble as you tug the door open harshly.

Dean sits in complete silence. 

He's been this way for an hour. He usually cleans guns when he thinks, or drinks. But, he can't bring himself to do anything. He just wants to crawl into a hole and stay there for all eternity.

You're so closed off. So gated from this reality now. It's breaking his goddamn heart. 

God knows what you were up to. 

Fights between you both is always bad. But there's never an underlying tone of hate. 

He could hear the venom rolling off your tongue like it was nothing.

He could feel the angst that was vibrating throughout your body so clearly. 

And, he just goaded you on. Because, that's what he's always done. But he shouldn't have. 

"Dean?" It's a mere whisper in the dark room.

"Yeah." He whispers back, a choked voice echoing throughout the room.

"Aren't you going after her?" Sam asks quietly as he lays down in bed.

"No Sammy. She doesn't want me to." He looks down at his calloused hands before biting his bottom lip and lowering his head.

"Yes she does. You know that. She doesn't even know that she wants you to. But you do." His younger brother replies.

"I can't go to her Sam. I can't let myself fall into this trap. Her hating me is better than nothing. Then she can't love me." 

"You're an idiot. She loves you regardless. Whether she's going to admit it to herself or not. This whole destiny thing is bullshit. So what if you guys have a kid? Doesn't mean it has to say yes to being a vessel." Dean clicks his teeth at his brother's words before carding his fingers through his hair.

"For now you have to go make sure she's okay. You have to take care of her. She's hurting so deeply." 

He mulls it over for a minute or two.

He's worried sick already. He just has to go. Even if it's wrong to give in, it's right to take care of her. Always.

Standing up, he grabs his jacket and his car keys.

"She'll be somewhere fancy since she wants to get rid of you." His brother says as he walks towards the door.

"Bitch."

"Jerk." Sam mutters as he rolls over in his bed.

"Just put down the fucking bottle." You mutter to the bartender.

"Ma'am this is a two hundred dollar bottle of whisky." The bartender says as he looks over your appearance.

"Did I stutter?" You ask annoyed, handing him the money.

As he sets down the bottle, you put your hand under your chin before huffing out.

This whole thing with Dean. This whole battling each other with mean words and fisticuffs is so exhausting.

When Marsh was around you never really fought. You had tiffs and even those ended with light hearted slaps. These fights, they're big. And, they take an even bigger toll on your mental health.

Yes, you're pushing away the one man who makes you happy.

Yes, you're closing yourself off again just like when you were a teenager.

Yes, you're completely ignoring reason for the hatred you feel in your gut.

But of course, you couldn't hate Dean Winchester. Quite the opposite.

And, that's what makes your stomach churn at night.

That's what makes everything a bitch.

He started it first. A few days after Marsh's death-- the whole push Y/N away until she wants to claw her own eyes out task.

And, he is doing a great job at it.

You're not letting him in and he's pushing you to the edge of not even wanting to get back to a place you're comfortable with him.

But, why?

Why is he pushing you to the edge like this? Why do you even fucking care?

"Can I get an extra glass over here, sweetheart?" You hear a deep voice ask and you let out a low whine as you cover your eyes with your hand.

Great. Just fucking fantastic.

A chair scrapes loudly across the linoleum flooring before you feel his big, rough hand on your bare thigh beneath your ripped jeans.

You shiver at his touch before turning your head to him and peeking through your fingers.

"I know you better than you know yourself." He says before winking at the girl as she sets down the glass.

You watch her blush and you grimace at the interaction before slinging back the shot.

"You bought the whole bottle, Mel Gibson?" He asks as he pours himself a shot.

"Go away. Please." You whisper before putting your hand below your chin again.

"Nah. I'll help you finish it. Come on. Let's go to the booth." He says, jabbing his finger to the other side of the bar.

"Why? What's the point? Hey, Carrie. Wanna distract this guy for me?" You ask the bartender and she perks up at the thought.

Typical.

"No thanks. I'm with my wife." He says before grabbing the bottle and your wrist.

You snort at his comment before whining as you get dragged off to the booth like he asked.

"You shouldn't lie to women like that Mr. Winchester. They might think you're not chivalrous." You jeer as you slide into the booth.

"Ha. Ha. You're hilarious. Shut up." He deadpans as he squeezes in beside you.

He was so close you could smell him again. You could smell home.

You push yourself away from him before grabbing your glass and shaking it asking for more.

Looking up at him, you find his deep green eyes staring at you and it makes you feel like a deer in headlights for once. They were so riddled with emotion. Emotion so far beyond anything you've seen for quite some time now.

He pours you some whisky before leaning back in the booth and sighing heavily.

You just stare at each other for a while. Both of you drink one another in, but you break the line of sight first.

You take a large gulp of the alcohol before cringing. The burn is soothing to the flaming fires in your gut.

"I'm sorry. I've been pushing you when you don't deserve it. I've been angry at the whole world." He says finally.

His voice is laced with sorrow and your heart pangs.

"I don't need your sorry." You retort before pouring yourself some more whisky.

"Hey… Hey-" He whispers softly as he holds his hands up, "-I'm not trying to fight with you. I'm not trying to create a rift between us. I'm opening up." 

You grumble gently. You wish he just fucking wouldn't. It's always such a blessing and a curse to see him like this.

He pours his heart out and you have the overwhelming emotion to do the same.

"I'm sorry too." You whisper back before finishing off the glass.

"We both handle things so wrong when we're upset. Sam says it's because we're almost like the same person and I think I'm starting to believe it." He says before chuckling.

You begin to count the freckles on his face again, like you once did many moons ago.

He's so perfectly not yours.

So perfectly Dean.

The silence this time is easier. It's almost welcome. 

"I shouldn't have slept with that girl last night. That's on me." He mutters above the lip of his glass.

You tilt your head before snorting, "We aren't together. You don't have to apologize to me. We've never been together."

"No! I know!-" He says quickly, "-But still that doesn't mean it was right. I just wish...I just wish things could be like before. When Marsh was around...there was no sorrow or no anger." 

You sigh before putting your hands over your face.

"Yeah. I know. But he isn't here anymore and we all deal with it in our own way." You pour some more alcohol.

"Yeah we do...But, I want you to lean on me more. I want you to trust me with your thoughts like you used to. Like when you cried when you killed your first wraith." 

You begin to smile at the memory before rolling your eyes.

"I was crying because I literally felt like I was going insane." You deadpan earning a chuckle from him.

This is easy too. Falling back into routine.

The cage you've locked yourself away in these past weeks is slowly opening again and it's a terrifying notion.

"Or the time when you got abducted by the djinn and you told me to leave you there. Because you loved your dream so much." He says and you smirk in response.

"Nothing like a djinn twisting my mind into having four babies with you and you being my husband." You say raising your glass before downing it all.

He swallows thickly and looks away before clearing his throat.

"We almost had that. Hurts that we can't have that." He mumbles before pouring a tall glass for himself.

"We aren't meant to be. You know that. You fucking told me that." You say as you throw your boots over his lap.

He looks down at your boots and you can't quite read the emotion in his eyes as he begins to play with your laces.

He lets out a small laugh before shutting his eyes and nodding.

"Would you? If we were meant to be? Would you be with me?" He asks before looking back up at you.

He's never asked you that before. You stammer on syllables before putting your hands through your hair.

"I don't… I don't know." You say truthfully and you see him nod rapidly before swallowing.

"What if it was our destiny to be together? What if we were made for one another?" His voice is feeble now. 

You click your teeth before slumping down in the booth.

"I can't tell you an answer because it's not true." You say finitely. 

He hums in agreement before looking away.

"Yeah… You're right." 

"Come on you lazy drunk." Dean groans out as he pulls you out of the car.

You stagger on your feet as you fall into his chest.

"Dean Abel." You slur out as he closes the door with his foot.

"Yeah. Yeah. I got you, princess." He murmurs as he scoops you up into his arms.

"I bought a room. Five." You say holding out the key with a large smile.

He shakes his head with a smirk as he walks down the strip of concrete of the motel.

"Why'd you do that?" He asks as he takes it, pulling the key loop onto his finger.

"To get away from you." You reply as you bury your face into his neck.

"Oh...Joy." He mumbles as he approaches the room. 

Opening the door, he makes quick steps to the bed before gently laying you down.

"Okay. He-Here I am, Dean. One of your sweethearts. Strip me!" You whisper as you hold your arms up. 

He smirks as he shakes his head before rolling his eyes.

"You're a fucking psycho." He mutters before helping you out of your jacket.

He takes in your slightly parted lips, your cheeks that are tinged pink from the alcohol that pumps through your veins.

He sighs gently as he takes off your shirt.

His eyes drift anywhere but your body as he discards your shirt elsewhere.

"Take your pants off." He instructs as he takes off his jacket.

"No. You take 'em off." You mumble as you close your eyes.

Grumbling to himself, he rolls his eyes before pulling your pants off of your legs in one quick swipe.

"Now go to bed and don't throw up." He says as he tosses your pants onto the couch.

Your head as heavy as it is still lifts off of the pillow as you look at him, seeing double but two Dean's are better than none.

"Sleep with me." You whine patting the spot behind you.

He hums to you, an unsure noise before sighing and taking off his shirt.

Your eyes rake over his toned chest and stomach, defined just enough to see small abs beneath his soft looking skin. You can see the freckles that fleck and dot his chest and shoulders as he walks over to the bed.

"I ain't takin' my pants off. You pervert. Go to bed." He mumbles as he lays down beside you.

You smirk before pressing your head into the pillow. 

"I think I would…" You find yourself saying as you close your eyes.

"You would take my pants off?" He asks loudly, his voice riddled with surprise as he wraps his arm around your body.

"If it was destiny and we were meant to be I think I would be with you." You say as he presses his chest to your back.

"Shut up and go to sleep." He murmurs as his forehead connects to the back of your neck.

"You don't know what you're asking for." He whispers as he closes his eyes.

Forever Dean Tags: @akshi8278​

[laora-inn]

Supernatural - Some speculations about the last 7 episodes of 15th season

Well, after 2 trailers, episodes descriptions on IMDB and some unfinished plot-lines of SPN story I’d like to share my own speculations. Some of them are definitely wrong. 

Destiel positive, happy end positive, don’t like - don’t read. 

Season 15 | Episode 14. Last Holiday

A filler - that’s how we anime fans call episodes which have no deal with the main plotline, though can contain some interesting moments and nuances. In “Supernatural” these episodes usually have no Cas in them. Sometimes they are very good... but mostly not. They are “just for fun”, and fans enjoy them, because they can be really funny. No angst.

Like this one - no angst, no Cas, a wood nymph who looks like Mary Poppins to me (or Mrs. Marple whatever). Some British origin of the character. 

That’s the episode which shots with Dean in purple nightgown are from (trailer short version).

I suppose the shot with Dean, Sam and Jack flying in the air could also be here from. But maybe not.

I don’t know where Cas may be. His absence should be explained to us in some way. In episode 10th he was missing because of talking to the angels. What’s now? Some preparations for the next Jack's trial? 

In this episode Dean should come closer to Jack’s forgiving.

Season 15 | Episode 15. Gimme Shelter

I have NO IDEA what this episode is about. Maybe the next trial for Jack? Or not?

I think the shot from the last trailer with Cas protecting Jack on the truck bed is from this episode. Also, some tortured person on the bed with the “lust” written above could be from it. 

And what about Sam and Dean? Where are they? 

I think they may have their own journey here, separate from Cas and Jack. Possibly the epic shots with them entering some building are this episode from. Possibly not. 

Season 15 | Episode 16. Drag Me Away (From You)

I don’t like this episode title. It looks like Destiel mocking to me - maybe, I just don’t have enough faith. I want to trust SPN writers but can’t. Somebody help me to believe, we all need that now! :)

THE ONLY episode in ALL THE SHOW except this one that had brackets in the title was 12x12, Stuck in the Middle (With You). Yahoo. 

Obviously, 12x12 was a parody to the Reservoir Dogs, a movie by Quentin Tarantino. Parody in a good sense of this word, but still. The plotline, the scenes (oh, this lunch scene from different points of view!), the scenes’ order, the roles, though changed - all of them. In case you didn’t watch Reservoir Dogs, just go and watch it, and then re-watch 12x12. You will understand. 

"Stuck in the Middle with You" is Stealers Wheel song which was in the OST of this Tarantino’s movie. This allusion should deal with boys’ and Mary relationship - because it’s her who betrayed them involuntarily, and now they are stuck in the middle with her. 

But somehow this episode title also deals with Destiel relationship. Maybe ‘cause that’s Cas who is dying, not Mary. Maybe ‘cause even on his deathbed he doesn’t confess something important - not about his betrayal, there was no one, but about his feelings. He says "I love you”, but then adds “I love all of you”, and Dean is literally stuck in the middle with Cas here. 

Back to the brackets in the episodes titles. Because of them I suppose that 12x12 and 15x16 could be connected. But how exactly?! That’s the question. I want them badly to be connected in Destiel way, but know too little. 

Back then I supposed that Dean could be dying in this episode and it would be his turn to confess something to Cas. But now I don’t know if there will be Cas in this episode at all, I just don’t have enough information. 

I hope he will. 

Btw, the words “Drag Me Away (From You)” are in Toto’s song “Africa”. And in case you didn’t know, in 2018 this song was used for half-an-hour Destiel video made by fan here. It covers ALL the Destiel moments then far. Link for this video is in Supernatural wiki, in the Destiel article. Half an hour, 10 repeats of the song, author’s comment: 

Along the way it stopped being funny and started getting insulting because this has been a literal decade (as of 2018 the vid features seasons 4-13) and the show has explored ALL of the tropes and yet and yet and yet...

I mean the fangirl shipper part of me also loves it. And then I get mad because I love it. I have a very complicated relationship with Supernatural but that's okay.

Have you heard the good news about Tragic Widow Dean?

TLDR: Have a supercut of all the DeanCas stuff set to Toto's Africa.

We can speculate a bit about this fact, but the truth is we know only about young Sam and Dean, who certainly will be in this episode. 

I think shots with Billie talking to Dean from the last trailer also belong to this episode, as well as shots with young Dean with Samulet, who is a ghost now. But these assumptions could be totally wrong. 

What circumstances will take us to the young Sam and Dean? Time travelling? Flashbacks? The parallel world?

Personally I think it will be the third option. Because how the hell young Dean can be a ghost in “our” universe? Unless it’s not Dean, though I doubt it. But if it’s not Dean, it can be a flashback, you know, with the young boys. Yep? 

We’ll wait and see.

I don’t think that Sam’s appreciative words to Dean refer to this episode. 

Also I don’t think Sam is going to sacrifice himself AGAIN (I’ve heard such an opinion). But maybe it’s my hope that makes me think in a wrong way.

Season 15 | Episode 17. Unity

I think some of Chuck’s shots are from this episode. Maybe the red lights in the bunker too. Maybe not. 

There also should be Amara and some angels. I saw Uriel in the cast! Maybe there also be some light lit on the all situation in Heaven now, when Jack made new angels. 

Some interaction between all of them + Sam, Dean, Cas and Jack should take place. Here the shot with sigil could be taken from. 

What side the angels will take? How it happened that Uriel is alive? Was he resurrected by Chuck or Amara? What plans does Amara have, how is she planning to deal with Chuck?

And what’s for Naomi? Will she come back or not? I think she won’t, not in this episode for sure, and I’m already disappointed ‘cause you know, she should be alive. Dumah said she is. For me Naomi is an important figure considering Destiel, and I think she’d be the best Heaven runner. 

All in all, in this episode should happen something that will make Cas happy. I suppose by the end of 15x17 or in the beginning of 15x18 they all will be sure that they have won the game, and Dean will forgive Jack for Mary.

The episode title may refer to angels’, Winchesters’ and Amara unity. 

Season 15 | Episode 18. Despair

Well, in Supernatural wiki I also saw “The Truth” title for this episode. 

Most of us are convinced that in this episode Cas will tell Dean about his deal with the Empty and will be taken by it. I believe the same. 

I think shot with Billie knocking with her hand rotten belongs to this episode. 

I have some doubts, but also think a shot with Dean leaning on Cas is from here. 

I’m sure that “You fought for this whole world” and Dean’s crying scene belong to this episode. ‘Cause you know. Despair. And the truth - about Cas’s deal and possibly about their fake win. 

Billie’s with her scythe and bunker intrusion symbols could also be from here (or from one the previous episodes ends, especially for Billie - as a cliffhanger). And it should be the case for Sam and Jack, I suppose. Because there is no other way for Dean and Cas to face Cas’s deal with just two of them. 

Destiel confession will be here, in more explicit form that it could be in 15x16, because there will be A TALK, but I don’t think we’ll see something real explicit. 

Maybe, Dean’ll say he loves Cas. Maybe not. I’m sure only about the fact that we’ll cry by the end of this episode. And that will be AN UGLY CRYING, just as Jensen said.

Well, maybe there will be a hint that Cas can be brought back, but I think it won’t. So prepare yourselves, my friends. 

Season 15 | Episode 19. Inherit the Earth

Here I think Sam’s appreciative words to Dean are taken from. They are definitely comforting. ‘Cause you know, Cas is dead, Chuck is alive. Possibly Cas was in his way and Chuck erased him by making him believe in their win.

I also think Dean’s crying words “this whole mission, saving the world” belong to this episode and will be in conversation with Sam. 

They still need to fight Chuck, and Jack is still alive. Here Michael will appear and helps. And there is one moment Sergey mentioned in 15x07, about the key to the Death’s library. He even described what it looks like! Cas heard that as well as Eileen. Well, if Cas is taken, then Eileen should return to the Winchesters, maybe with Sam and Jack, or just tell them about this key. 

I don’t know what they are going to do after. Open this library? How? Find how to kill God? Or not? Will they try to save Cas?

I think they will not talk about Cas’s saving. And he will be dead in this episode for sure.

Also I think they’ll deal with God in this episode, one way or another.

Season 15 | Episode 20. Carry On

This is a land of unlimited speculation!

I hope Dean’ll have Cas back by the end of episode. I think Cas’ll save himself from the Empty, ‘cause, you know, he has a big goal there. The Empty tortures all the dead angels and demons, as far as we know. It should be fixed - Cas’s already made a promise to Ruby. And we know that Cas has no problem with ruining something and messing it up - he is basically THE GREAT TRICKSTER of this show. 

Rebelling against Heaven and ruining angels’ plans? Check. Stopping Apocalypse? Check. Opening Purgatory? Check. Becoming a new God? Check. Bringing the Leviathans? Check. Casting all the angels out of Heaven and burning their wings? Check. Becoming human? Check. Becoming an angel by devouring other angels’ grace? Check. Getting an army of angels? Check. Giving up this army for one human? Check. Kidnapping angels’ prisoner? Check. Letting Lucifer in? Check. Helping “an abomination”, Devil’s son, to be born? Check. Annoying Empty so much that it brought him back to life? Check. Making a deal with the Empty? Check. 

It’s very dangerous to mess with Cas, you just don’t know what he could do for the greater good, and yep, in some way Dean was right when he said that Cas is “something that’s always going wrong”. So I think the Empty is in trouble here, not vice versa.  

Also, there is one more thing that bothers me. When Nick in 14th season was praying to Lucifer, he woke him up in the Empty. Theoretically, Lucifer can be awake by now. It could be a dead end, but still. Lucifer’s “true face” is similar to the Empty’s, sooo... 

I don’t know what to think about it and the fact that Nick could reach Lucifer and return him from the Empty, so let’s move on.  

I hope for the happy end for Sam (maybe with Eileen) and for all the hunters we know. They are family. 

NO MCD here! If someone’ll die - they shouldn’t be Sam, Dean or Cas. I don’t want to see Eileen’s death either. I don’t know what about Jack. I don’t want him to die, but he is 100% supernatural being, and I am not sure what it means for him to die. 

Monsters should stay, hunters should hunt them. We’ll see that the “family business” thrives.    

There should be an order on the all levels - in Heaven, Hell and on Earth. There should be the new Death - of they should return Billie. Rowena running the Hell would be perfect. Wonder if Naomi could run Heaven. Maybe it will be Chuck? If he will be redeemed. Or Michael. 

I don’t know what’s for the Empty and Amara. 

I don’t know what the end for Jack will be. I’d like he will be alive, but I just don’t know. He can’t be a human. That will be right thing for Cas, but not for Jack. 

I hope for Destiel endgame, as well as for Sam/Eileen. Cas should become a human, maybe, with some supernatural skills left.   

I doubt that we have proper scenes of these ships together or Cas’ humanity. Just hints. But they can be very obvious - especially if we’ll see Dean’s reaction to Cas’s returning. 

So, I hope to see them. 

But, as I said, it's a land of unlimited speculation. We’ll wait and see. 

What else should be resolved:

- Kevin can’t stay a ghost! It’s my main point here. He also can’t go to Hell. What will happen with him and in which episode? I don’t know. I just hope they won’t forget about him. 

- There is the shot with Bobby from? 15x20? He should be somewhere. 

- Also, there should be Charlie in this season unless something’s changed. Where is she?

- What are they going to do with alternative!Winchesters from 15x13? They will rest? They will make another HunterCorp? They will be gone?! Come on, something needs to be done with them! Of course, they are not so important here, so the writers can forget about them, but still, I’m interested.

What am I going to do:

I'm going to watch all the last episodes of the season. AND THEN, if there will be no happy end for the Winchester boys and Cas won’t be with them, I'm going to rebel. :) In every possible way - petitions, letters, actions etc. We are grown-up people here. We can fight for our rights, and it's my crucial right - to be happy about my favorite show ending. :) 

__________________

Feel free to ask me anything or to comment. My ask is working!