#i do really want kids but i cant imagine giving birth to one that sounds terrifying

[keroseneinhalers]

my favorite part of warrior cats is the grotesque story of squirrelflight, ashfur, and the extended cast of cats that sound like they came out of an ajj song

this gal named squirrelflight flirts with a guy named ashfur a few times. typical 80s romance song. its quick, its fleeting. squirrelflight gets together with brambleclaw. its all real lovely. brambleclaw gets promoted to leader after squirrelflights dad goes into retirement and makes his deputy the chief. brambleclaw is now bramblestar

(before the promotion and after the marriage, brambleclaw leads the entire 4 clans to a new territory. not relevant. he also stabs his brother in the neck with a tent stake)

and then squirrelflights sister leafpool, who is a medicine cat and sworn into celibacy, has sex with a guy from windclan named crowfeather. this is something all the cats are sworn not to do. double illegal.

crowfeather is a bit of a whore because he was previously in love with another girl who went on a magical journey with him when he was a child. (brambleclaw was there for that too. brambleclaw is eternal and everywhere) the girl crowfeather was in love with got impaled by a falling stalagmite while protecting a tribe of savage feral cats with names very similar to english translations of a few native american names i know. interesting. racist? there was a mountain lion involved

yeah so they have sex and leafpool gets pregnant. but since she did two crimes in one she gives the kids to squirrelflight and pretends they belong to her and brambelstar. theres an uncomfortable birthing scene because the kids decided to emerge from her cat uterus in the middle of a snowstorm. this is very telling of their characters after birth

theres three kids. jayfeather lionblaze and hollyleaf. jayfeather is very angry. lionblaze is angry but in a brave way. hollyleaf loves rules. they are a legendary trio

theres a thing about superpowers, and a prophecy or something. jay is sickly and blind and can see peoples thoughts. lionblaze never loses any fights, ever, and he maims ashfur a little while theyre trianing. hollyleaf doesnt have any powers, but she is absolutely obsessed with the warrior code and gets caught up with a guy named sol who says the world is gonna end. none of this is relevant except the "bootlicker hollyleaf" thing

ashfur is stewing. ashfur has been stewing for years now. long enough that they literally brought all 4 clans across the continent to a new territory kind of stewing. hes lonely. he misses the girl he was madly in love with, and shes married to the coolest guy in town. hes in agony. (over in windclan, crowfeather has a new girlfriend. manwhoring as long as he lives)

theres a big fire. thunderclans entire territory sets on fire. everyone is escaping, except for squirrelflight and her three kids. jayfeather, lionblaze, and hollyleaf, who is contemplating becoming an antivaxxer or something

imagine this: a clearing on the edge of a pit. the pit is where the cats live. everything is on fire around this clearing. there is one log running across the clearing, and squirreflight and her fake kids are going along it to escape. theyre the last out

ashfur appears he stands at the other end of the log. hes pissed. hes crying. he hates squirrelflight. he hates her so much. his rage is all consuming, like the fire that burns around them. he says he wants her in as much pain as possible, and he knows how: taking the only thing she loves in this world. her 3 kids

we all know something ashfur doesnt. the kids arent hers. squirrelflight, though non an omnipresence, is gifted with this knowledge herself.. she sees ashfurs twisted evil mind and tells him, flat out that they arent hers. she doesnt love them. he can kill them, they mean nothing to her. they are, after all, just her sister leafpool's. why would she care for them?

ashfur is stunned. he gives up. he leaves. squirrelflight and her three kids leave. its a bit awkward. imagine the thanksgiving dinner table after a particularly bad argument. thats all this is really

anyways. hollyleaf is broken from this. shes the daughter of a medicine cat and a manwhore from a clan that only eats rabbits. she cant take it. much like ashfur, she snaps

there are these big clan meetings, once every month. everyone goes, except the old people and the dying people and the kids who just want juiceboxes and lunchables. thunderclan is heading out to the Meeting Island. they find a body in the river. surprise! its ashfur

they go on to the gathering despite finding the body of one of their finest, most mentally haunted warriors polluting the stream with the blood seeping out of his slit throat. the three kids are there. squirrelflight is there. leafpool is there. bramblestar is there

this story has very weird heathers energy to me. its there, but it isnt coherant. like a bad remix of 100 gecs, sort of. this part is no exception

hollyleaf runs up to the big tree the clan leaders stand on and monologue. shes not allowed to do this. perhaps the sense that she lost her identity with her illigitimate birth turned into something real, that the warrior code didnt matter anymore. perhaps she was just tired of being kind; she wanted to go apeshit

she confesses. to two things. number one - the muderder of ashfur. how tragic. number two - leafpool. leafpools affar with crowfeather. squirrelflights lies to her for her entire life. theres chaos. thunderclan is like stan twitter after a minecraft youtuber said something racist 8 years ago. the 3 other clans are trying desperately to get in on this drama. the hot tea of the hour if you will

hollyleaf says her share. she runs away. lionblaze and jayfeather chase after her all the way back to the thunderclan territory. she yells at them. she runs into a tunnel and gets crushed by rocks. thats the end. shes dead.

jk jk that was a lie shes alive and shes living in a huge cave system with a ghost cat. remember the native american coded mountain tribe? yeah, they had ancestors. the ancestors lived at the territory the 4 clans moved to after squirelflight flirted with ashfur and before she got together with bramblestar. they used to drown little kids in the tunnels. jayfeather is the entire reason why the ancestors moved to the mountains and became the racist mountain tribe. i wont explain the timeline of this, and i dont think i could if i tried

up above hollyleafs slowburn romance with a transparent cat, theres a new girl with superpowers. prophecy fulfilled yadda yadda. her sister is annoyed that she isnt #quirky and so she joins a fighting cult run by the cats in hell. i cannot stress this enough its literally every cat from the 50 some books before this who went to hell. they have an army of children. theyre training them. the sister kills one of her classmates and becomes equals with the hell cats. my second favorite plotline in the series

the hell cats come to the land of the living. the sister betrays them. theres a big battle, and its supposed to be the end of the series but you know theyre gonna continue it for at least 20 more books. (they did). hollyleaf appears, and i dont think its ever explained how or why. but shes back, and she joins the battle. everyones too busy with the literal hell cats to care much about some kid with a body count of 1 appearing randomly

hollyleaf fights a bit. she gets mauled to death. thats the end. its just over. she dies and she doesnt come back. rip to a queen

i think my biggest question besides why would someone create this ad continue to do so for fifty plus books, is how the fuck brambleclaw stabbed his brother with a tent stake when he literally doesn’t even have hands. what.

[wavebiders]

Operation: "Ignore the Shitty Live Action Winx Show and Just Rewatch the Cartoon for the First Time in Almost a Decade" part 45:

I'm Calling Fairy CPS

Avalon: *is in a scene*

Me: *kill bill sirens*

SIR STEP AWAY FROM THE TEENAGE GIRL

Oh my god I forgot she was keeping that secret! She hates lying too😟

and ofc the first time she slips up is with the wrong person even though he's an adult that she's supposed to be able to tru- this is an Avalon hate zone

"Of course I don't want to see Timmy. Why would I want to see someone who behaves like that. So illogical" "what did he actually do?" EXCELLENT QUESTION FLORA

Locket you're cute but get tf off her shoulder that's Kiko's spot

I never showed any interest in the pixies as a kid. Like I have piles of Winx merch from back then still and not one pixie related thing, and I'm pretty sure them butting in on Kiko's beloved sidekick territory is why

I mean if I'm this annoyed as an adult, I can't imagine my child self who adored Kiko a ridiculous amount(enough to name a bunny after him) handled this very well either����

Shout-out to these losers for having no boundaries and saving me from freaking out about Bloom being in Avalon's office alone with him:

I just love the Gardenia music. That instant feeling of Home every time it plays

Ok I know Bloom's bio parents are great and she does find them eventually so what I'm seeing here is not the narrative the show is going for BUT

I really love that this ominous music started playing and stormclouds showed up when Bloom got pulled away from her adoptive parents and towards her birth parents. Big found family supremacy vibes

Also! She's much more formal when trying to talk to them! In this dub at least, she uses formal pronouns and calls them "mother" and "father" instead variations of "mama" and "papa" like she does with her earth parents. It just gives the impression that as much as she wants to find her bio family, her heart is always gonna be with the people that raised her

"Hey, come on girls leave her alone. Only the most important thing: what was your mother wearing?" I would take a million bullets for Stella of Solaria

Seriously where is my bunny boy?! He's been weirdly not as present all season but it's especially jarring with Bloom carrying Locket around the same way she did him 90% of the time in s1

Stella lecturing Bloom and calling her "Young Lady" here has the same energy as Bloom lecturing Stella and calling her basically the same thing in Miss Magix

Aww she still feels guilty about this whole endeavor even after Vanessa gave her blessing🥺 bby you can have 4 parents

Dark!Bloom already?? I could have sworn that was finale stuff. Does she stay evil that long?

Fghhdf I love this VA for Bloom more than I can say but this does not work as an evil voice she just sounds too babey still

"Should I drop him like Tecna did?" OOF

SIR STEP AWAY FROM THE TEENAGE GIRL

Stella caring gf mode we love to see it

I do appreciate even an evil version of Bloom just sharing her intentions so openly(and in the cheeriest voice bc I cant stress enough how Not Evil she sounds) Every version of her is honest to a fault

I guess in a way the still innocent sounding voice makes sense? It's really weird to watch but if she actually sounded sinister I'd be questioning how calm the characters interacting with her were. Still kinda awkward tho

It is sweet that their reactions never move away from being mainly concern for Bloom no matter how much she throws them around

Ngl I'm kinda glad she can't remember what happened

I don't know why I'm surprised no one's holding this against her. It's totally on brand for this show to have the girls be supportive of each other above all else. But somehow I still am

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Home - Part 1

Summary: Fresh out of a divorce, Y/N moves to Sun Valley for a fresh start, a house left to her by her aunt and a new job as a nanny.

James 'Bucky' Barnes owns a law firm and has been left with three kids after his wife died giving birth to their youngest.

Bucky is nervous about leaving the kids with a nanny but he cant keep finding babysitters and the kids need someone more permanent around.

The Barnes kids were great, we hit it off straight away and i settled into a new routine with the family. Brooklyn and Alice were at school for most of the day so it was just me and Rosie. While Rosie had her afternoon nap i'd do the house work and make sure everything was done so that James didn't have to worry about it when he got home. Once that was done it was usually time to pick the girls up from school, on the way home we'd stop off at the park for half hour before we headed home. When we got home id sort out their dinner and put something together for James for when he got home, when that finally happened id give him a quick run down of our day and head back to the farm house.

After spending all day with the girls, the farm house felt so big and empty with just me there.

It was a friday morning and i had just arrived at the Barnes residence ready for my day when James came strolling in carrying Rosie and greeting me with a smile.

"Morning Y/N"

"Good morning, where are the other little monsters?"

"They insisted on dressing themselves for school today"

"Oh god help us" i chuckled, this was gonna be funny. Brook would probably be okay but Allie? I could already picture her wearing bright colours and a tutu!

"Oh my.... dont you girls look beautiful" James said suddenly with wide eyes.

As i thought.... Brook was doing okay, she had on jeans and tshirt with her converse sneakers but Allie?..... she was wearing a stripy pink and purple sweater, pink tutu and red cowboy boots.

"Y/N!!" Allie said called happy when she saw me and run into my arms "i missed you!"

"I missed you! But i havent been gone that long" i chuckled "and what are you wearing today?"

"My favourite boots and my tutu! Daddy said i can wear what i want"

"Well you look so pretty!"

"I tried to tell her not to wear the tutu" Brook rolled her eyes as she took her seat at the table. Allie went and took her seat next to Brook and i held my hands out for Rosie "i'll sort miss Rosie out while you have your breakfast" i said to James, he smiled and handed her over.

"Thanks" he winked before sitting at the head of the table and pouring himself a cup of coffee while i set up Rosie in her high chair and gave her her breakfast.

"Y/N, i might be late tonight. Ive got a big case coming up and there's still so much to prep..... would you be okay staying?"

"Yeah sure, thats fine"

"Thank you! I dont know what id do without you"

"Its not a problem, i was only going to be at home watching TV anyway" i shrugged.

"How's things going with the house, you more settled?"

"Not really, I'm gonna be getting rid of some of my aunts furniture this weekend, I've ordered some stuff more to my liking. Im sure it'll be better once its more me....you know?"

"Yeah, it still feels like your aunts house having all her stuff there"

"Exactly, i feel like i shouldn't be there" i shrugged "doesn't help its so quiet, its been a long time since I've lived on my own and then after spending all day here with the girls...."

"I can imagine" he nodded taking a mouthful of his coffee "so who did you live with before coming here? Friends? boyfriend?...."

"Erm....husband actually" i told him shaking my head "but that is a story for another time, when there's no little ears around" i smiled and turned my attention back to Rosie.

After dropping the girls at school i headed to the store with Rosie to get a few bits, i thought it'd be kinda fun to have a girls movie night being as James was working late. I grabbed some popcorn and some chocolate and saw the cutest pyjamas! They were pink with unicorns on in both kids and adult sizes so i grabbed us all a pair (my treat).

After the store we went back to the house and had lunch, Rosie sat watching cartoons while i cleaned up the kitchen.

The afternoon flew by and i was soon stood out the front of the school waiting for the girls to come out. Brook was out first i gave her a hug before taking her school bag and hanging it from the handle of the push chair.

"How was you day Brook?" I was asking as i looked up only to see Allie running towards me. She crashed into my legs holding tight.

"Woah, Whats wrong Allie?" I bent down to her level so i could talk to her properly.

"Mrs Harper was mean to me about my tutu!"

"Who's Mrs Harper?"

"Her teacher" Brook replied for her sister who was still holding onto me.

"Well Mrs Harper obviously has no fashion sense sweetheart. You look so pretty!"

"Mrs Barnes??...." i heard a woman call out heading our way.

"Thats Mrs Harper!" Brook rolled her eyes at the woman.

"Mrs Barnes, can i have word?" The woman marched over "I'm Mrs Harper, i just wanted to talk to you about Alice's attire. Its not appropriate for school...."

"Im sorry, Mrs Harper was it?? Whats the big deal?? I'm not seeing the point of making a big deal out of this??"

"It makes the school look bad....."

"Shes 5! Who cares what shes wearing! If Allie wants to wear a tutu and cowboy boots then thats what she'll wear"

"Your okay with her wearing that?"

"Why wouldn't i be?? she's a kid, they like to dress up. Im sure by Monday she'll be back in jeans and t-shirt, but if she wants to wear a tutu and cowboy boots then thats what she'll wear! She's not hurting anyone"

"Maybe Mr Barnes would have different opinion...."

"Feel free to call him, I'm sure he'd love to hear your opinion"

"So thats all you've got to say on the matter??"

"No actually..... if i hear you've upset my kid again?.... you'll regret it" i said quietly to her so the girls couldn't hear.

"Come on girls lets go home".

When we got home the girls had an early dinner, while they were eating i thought id better call James and tell him about Mrs Harper just incase she did call him.

"Hey, everything okay?" He answered on the third ring.

"Hi, yeah everything's good. I just thought id tell you about what happened at the school this afternoon"

"Okayyyy...."

"I may have gone on the attack a little at Allie's teacher...."

"Mrs Harper huh?"

"Thats the one. Allie came running out upset saying Mrs Harper had been mean about what she was wearing, low and behold out came Mrs Harper asking to speak to me. Told me Allie's attire wasn't appropriate and made the school look bad!" I told him.

"What did you say that?" He asked sounding amused.

"I told her that no one cares what a 5 year old is wearing for school and that if Allie wants to continue wearing her tutu and cowboy boots then she will! Thats when she said that maybe you would have a different opinion on the matter.... i told her to feel free to call you, that you'd love to hear her opinion"

"Oh i want her to call me!" He scoffed "i'd give her my opinion alright"

"Well she might call you to complain about me more than anything.... she asked if thats all i had to say on the matter.... i told her if i hear shes upset my kid again that she'll regret it. Im sorry James but she was pissing me off! How dare she!"

I was expecting him to be mad at me for kinda threatening Allie's teacher but he started to laugh.

"You dont need to apologise, id of done the same"

"Even still i thought id give you a heads up incase she did call you"

"Thank you, how are the girls?"

"Their great, their just having dinner then we're gonna have a girls movie night"

"Sounds fun! I wish i could join you guys"

"No boys allowed sorry" i laughed "well i'll let you get back to it"

"Okay tell my girls i love them and i'll see them in the morning?"

"Of course, bye".

[mydearesthrry]

12 and 18 from random with tom, honey! thank you 😚 also, your recent imagine was cute as hell.

polar opposites - t.h.

masterlist

summary: your daughters are total opposites and tom has responsibilities.

prompt 12: "give me attention!"

prompt 18: "well, that's tragic."

tom and you had been married for almost four years, and in those four years, you gave birth to two beautiful babies. adela grace and valeria marie. despite their similar looks, they had totally opposite attitudes. the twins were both turning three, and you started to see how they acted.

adela was an angel most of the time, although she had her meltdowns every once in a while. adela was always the girl to volunteer to help her daddy or her uncles with anything and everything that they asked her for. she was tom's perfect little angel.

on the other hand, valeria was always more of the rebellious twin. she always knew what she wanted and when she wanted it and never took no for an answer. val was everything you were when you were little. a little rebellious girl who had a heart of gold and gorgeous eyes. the girls got their eyes from their mama. val never misbehaved, but she also wasn't always a saint. now im not saying she was a bad child, because she was amazingly unique in her own way.

it was a sunday morning in the holland household when you heard a loud crash from the living room, followed by a long whine. you heard an "oh shit!" from where it was, and you quickly ran to what all the fuss was about, and you had to laugh at the sight.

you saw tom who looked very sleepy, and had wide eyes look at his two twin daughters who had gotten food all over the place.

"tom!!" you yelled, but not loud enough to startle your babies.

"i'm sorry! i closed my eyes for one minute, and the next, they're throwing food at eachother!" he explained, waving his hands all over the place. you looked over to tessa who was licking the baby food off of the twins, and you quickly ran over and brought tessa outside. you turned to the twins, who started to get a little fussy.

"hey mama, you should go give them attention. that's probably why they did it." tom sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"yeah you're probably right. i'll be right back baby. get some rest, okay?" you looked to tom, you was starting to get comfortable on the couch. after he muttered a soft 'okay', you took care of your girls.

after a long bath for the twins, you looked to your watch that read 8:47, and you took them to their beds for bedtime. after a quick story and kisses to their heads, they quickly fell asleep into a much needed slumber.

you want back downstairs and saw tom flipping from channel to channel on the tv. you plopped down on the seat next to him and cuddled into his side.

"hi my love. you doing alright darling?" he asked softly, stroking your hair softly, knowing you get clingy when you're stressed.

"yeah, i'm okay baby. just kinda tired s' all. works been kicking my ass lately, and i feel like i haven't really been there for the girls-- you, too, recently," you sighed, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. "and i cant help but feel like i'm being a bad mother and- and i don't know what to do. i'm so busy managing work and the girls and i don't wanna ask you for help because i know you're busy but i really-" you continued before tom cut you off.

"darling, it's okay. i can take care of val and adela for as long as you need me to. i'm always gonna here for you and them baby. you know you can rely on me for anything, princess." he said, angling his chin to you could look at him as he wiped the tears from your eyes.

"you sure tommy? i think i can handle it." you said, your voice slightly shaking.

"of course i can handle it baby. i'm pretty sure my babies miss me too, i hope." he smiled, loving seeing you giggle. you heard loud cries from the baby monitor, and as you went to go get up to attend to them, tom stopped you and said "i have to do it. i promised." sarcastically.

"you don't sound so happy about that, mister!" you chuckled, flipping your hair with one hand.

"daddy duties, it's a job, really." he sighed playfully.

"well, that's tragic! daddy having to taking care of his kids! what a surprise!" he knew you were joking, so he looked at you with a mischievous gleam in his eyes, and slowly went up the stairs stomping slightly.

"i love you, tommy!" you yelled from your place on the couch.

"i love you so much, angel."

-----

thank you requesting, love! i enjoyed writing this so much! @hollandsamor

please send me more requests, guys!

all love, dani :)

[theworldsoul]

Uhh warning VENT!!! Talks about self harm and shit... also religious bullshit and gender bullshit??? Like I'm really trans and also Catholicism really fucked me up so if ur uncomfy with that just... skip this post. Also if ur Christian and can't handle seeing ur shit defaced then skip this post. Also if ur gonna clown on this post as "cringe atheism" then fuck you because I'm literally coping with pain lol

:readmore:

Anways now that the disclaimer is over... here comes the real shit.

I... have been going through a LOT lately, jesus christ. I was HAPPY today, yknow? I thought I was gonna be happy the whole day.

I was dancing today. That's how happy I was. For the first time in like... a whole year... I was really so happy. I thought I was gonna cry. But then I got home. And well,,,, I did cry. But not from happiness. I just got my math grade back. A fucking 49 percent. MY AVERAGE RIGHT NOW IS A 57 PERCENT. I MIGHT FAIL MATH 20. I MIGHT HAVE TO RETAKE IT. oh my god I'm such a failure I cant do anything ever i try SO fucking hard but honestly??? I cant fucking do this. I can't, I'm not mentally capable. "Just work harder"... BITCH I AM WORKING AS HARD AS I CAN. I AM SPENDING HOURS AND HOURS OF MY LIFE STUDYING AND PRACTICING. I'm starting to think that how hard i try doesn't even fucking matter because I'm STUPID and all i know how to do is PAINT SHIT!!!! NOBODY CARES ABOUT ART!!!! IF I FAIL THIS CLASS I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE A HOUSE IN THE FUTURE!!!! A HOUSE!!!!!

I dont even want to be a fucking orthodontist. Okay??? I wanna do what I love: painting. But NOOOO. I have to get a "respectable" job that will "pay me enough money to live". WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO MAKE MONEY TO LIVE??? WTF??? THATS LITERALLY SO FUCKED UP. everyone deserves to live (unless they like murdered someone? I guess? Idk) BUT LIKE I DIDNT KILL NO ONE SO WHATS ALL THIS BS ABOUT WORKING TO LIVE???? WTF??? I rly gotta do all this shit I hate, all this shit I'm mentally incapable of doing... so i can have a house. Fuck this. Yknow with my average at a 57... I might fail this class even if I get a really good grade on my next quiz. Can you fucking believe it??? I'm literally so fucking stupid I cant even pass a dumb fucking math class god i hate myself. I cant fail this class. I've NEVER failed a class. Almost failed... but never HAD TO RETAKE A CLASS. that's the ultimate failure. I think my parents would hate me if I failed this.

And on top of that... I'm really struggling with uhhh, dysphoria and body image... and it's so fucking horrible man I want to rip all my skin off I want to suffocate god I want to KILL him I want to MAKE HIM SUFFER. I want to gouge his eyes out and force him to eat them. WHY WOULD HE MAKE ME LIKE THIS????? WHY????? WHATS THE POINT IN MAKING A CHILD SUFFER SO MUCH???

What did I ever do that was so wrong I deserved all this punishment???

Well FUCK YOU and fuck your stupid book and FUCK THESE STUPID FUCKING SAINTS. WASNT THERE SUPPOSED TO BE A WHOLEASS ANGEL WATCHING OVER ME?? PROTECTING ME??? WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT BITCH NOW?? WHERE WAS THAT BITCH WHEN... when I was being bullied? When I literally wanted to kill myself?

Where was that guardian angel when I kept making THE SAME MISTAKE over and over again and I KNEW it was wrong but I kept doing it anyways because it was the only way I could feel like soemone cared about me????

I bet that angel motherufcker KNEW they didnt care. DID THE ANGEL EVER ONCE HELP ME??? NOOOO. all those times I was bruised and broken... all those times...

Man, I was just a kid. I was SO fucking young. And I would come like a lamb to the slaughter and kneel. I would pray... ask for guidance. I would pray the rosary too, I would read the bible and try my very best to understand it, I would go to church and volunteer at church and do my best to be a Good Boy and never sin. I did EVERYTHING right. I literally fasted at some point, like a religious fast. I was devoted...

Honestly though? I think it was the same mistake I make over and over again, except not with a real person.

And you have me NOTHING. GO GIRL, GIVE US NOTHING!!!!!!! I literally used to self-punish for the sins I couldnt bring myself to confess. At my communion, there was one sin I didn't tell because I knew it was unforgivable. I still hate myself for that. But man, I used to try and do all sorts of things to somehow cleanse myself of it. I figured THAT whole ordeal was why I was constantly being tortured.

But I was stupid and I am stupid and that makes NO SENSE because if the thing I'm being punished for happened when I was a child, WHY DID THE PUNISHMENT BEGIN AT MY BIRTH????

They used to tell me that god handcrafted every part of me specifically for some sort of grand reason.

Why.

Really? This bitch really "handcrafted" me just so I could cry and cut myself nearly every night??? Fuck that. Like why would you make me this way. It hurts more than you can IMAGINE. The only reason I'm not dead yet is because of ME, MY strength, not any of the bullshit YOU gave me. I hate when people say "oh, god made u so hardworking" or "oh, god made you so passionate/hopeful/full of love/fiery/whatever" LIKE STFU BITCH THAT WAS NOT SKYDADDY THAT WAS ME!!!

you wanna know what he made me?

dysphoric, ugly af, yeah.... but the worst part?

He made me feel.

That doesn't sound bad, right? Well it's the worst thing on the list. It is my downfall, my Achilles heel or whatever. This emotions shit??? It RUINED my life. My whole life I was cursed with a fucking monster inside me. I kept trying to tell everyone that it wasnt me!!! I kept telling them that it felt like I was being possessed. But adults are SHIT. I hate adults. I want to kill them all. They failed me and their god failed me. None of them every listened to me. All they knew how to do was punish, punish, punish.

It's like giving an allergic kid some peanuts and then getting angry at them for going into anaphylactic shock or whatever. Nobody ever thought "hey, why don't we stop giving the kid peanuts?"

ALL THE ADULTS AROUND ME ACT LIKE CHILDREN AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE ACTED LIKE CHILDREN FUCK ADULTS

Anwyays that's how I ended up with all these unresolved issues,.... emotion is a tough one, like I literally dont have the ability to control my emotions at all, I can try and like, repress them but I cant make myself actually feel less.

My emotion hurts more than anyone else's and nobody ever understood that. I would tell them that it hurts, it PHYSICALLY HURTS, and they would say I just wanted attention. I would tell them I literally couldnt control what my body said and did, I would tell them I felt like A PUPPET ON STRINGS and no one believed me. Fuck them.

Healthy coping mechanisms? I literally self ship with Snape to cope. I literally self ship with characters my brain made up and put in my dreams to cope. I used to hurt myself so much trying to feel loved and cared about irl. Fiction is so much better. I sound like a loser but its TRUE. The sort of thing I need, the sort of love I need is like... a parent. You can't go looking for a parent in a romantic partner, it fucks everything up and you end up... well, let's just say it proabbly wasnt the most legal thing, but I wasnt thinking strisght at all I mean dude I was So fucked in my head when I did all that...whatever...anyways so thank u for fiction!!! I love fiction. Want to kill someone? Draw it. Then you'll feel much better!!! And you dont go to jail!!!

Well the pics here... idk, it was really calming to do this. It's new, painting over religious shit. I was gonna do the whole bible but I already burnt that shit so.... and I was going to cut but I'm trying really hard to stay clean... like really hard. It's so weird and like, addicting, once I hit styro I don't want to stop, but also it kinda transfers the emotional pain to physical pain, making it way easier to deal with. I just can't keep doing that because I KNOW it's bad and look I thoguht I was clean for a whole year but then I fucked up and WOW, GUESS WHAT MADE ME RELAPSE??? MATH CLASS!!!!

Whatever anyways here are my wonderful works of art I made while crying and cursing god (like I'm so pissed at all this catholic bs I believed in him again just to swear at him lol)

.... but imagine for a moment, a better world. One in whcih these saints whose images I've defaced are actually good people... a world in which they SEE ME AND THEY HEAR ME... and I go unpunished.... and I am embraced by someone who UNDERSTANDS.

I think I would cry.

Too bad that world doesnt exist and I just made it up to try and feel a bit better. Whatever, whatever. I painted the things, they're gonna dry. I work hard, I'm gonna do good on my quiz, I hope. I just have to be making it through, that's all it is, work work work without a break but I can proabbly do it. I'm really slipping I admit like the mental health is slipping it's getting worse like I havent had a "fuck I am afab" moment in such a long time so yeah...

Anwyays I feel so much better now that I did my little art project yknow???

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

shit (me again and again and again) i saw somebody else’s request on another fandom and i thought it was really cute so i’m going to copy them, you buy a pregnancy test but chris finds it before you can take it?💕

A/N- This one was super sweet (got me feeling all fluffy) and I hope that you like it Babes. 

Chris had his head ducked under the bathroom sink, looking for the dog shampoo, Dodger had gotten himself muddy in the fresh spring grass and tracked through the house. Chris’s first goal, get the mud off him before tackling the floors. 

“April showers bring May flowers... and muddy prints all over Y/N rug Bubba.” Chris glared a bit at Dodger who was now sitting in the bathtub, wagging his bushy tail to thump thump thump against the tubs side. Chris sighed with amusement and reached over to give the dog a rub on the ears.

“Just be patient boy, we will get you situated before you know it.”

A bark was given in agreement, and Chris ducked his head back under the sink, and then started looking in some drawers, wondering if it got stuck somewhere else when a box tumbled out at Chris’s feet. He bent down to collect it and put it back when he happened to notice what it was.

A pregnancy test?!

Chris sat on the edge of the tub suddenly, and just stared at his hand a moment. It wouldnt be unusual for you to keep a test right? Just in case. Nothing was ever a hundred percent sure proof as far as birth control, and it was best to be safe then sorry. Dodger rested his head on the edge of the tub and his big eyes looked up at his human, giving a slight whine at the difference in Chris. Absently his hand went to pet Dodger, who nosed him back to the present.

“Hey boy... what do you think I should do?” Chris eased the box up on the bathroom counter and stared at it a moment. “Should I ask Y/N about it? Or just... assume its nothing?” Dodger tilted his head and gave another whine, getting impatient at being stuck in the tub. “Okay, Okay Bubba, hang tight.” Chris grinned and move to his knees on the outside of the tub, turning on the water. “I know, youve been so patient Bubba, lets get you cleaned up and go find Y/N” No he didnt have the dog shampoo, but he could get the mud off and put it on the list of supplies needed.

You were just coming inside from picking up the yard, and listened to hear Chris talking to Dodger upstairs in the bathroom, You had to smile to yourself, brushing your hand across your sweaty dirty forehead to wipe away the stray hairs plastered, and went for a glass of water. Fretting a bit as you glanced at the calendar, you thought back on your purchase yesterday. You had told yourself purchasing it if Aunt Flo hadnt turned up today, well... You were gonna have to tell Chris and take the test. This was honestly a first for you, having had to recently go off your regular birth control and hadnt yet gotten a new one started.

It scared you, rationally you knew better, Chris had always said that kids were something he wanted in the future and he couldnt wait to be a daddy. It was his term In the future. What if he wasnt ready for this? What if you werent? His career was at its peak, daily there was offers for him to sort through, show interest in or pass along, you were busy with your shop, and it needed all your time right now. Your hand grasped the counter, going white knuckled at the idea of it all suddenly overwhelming, the glass you held shook slightly, but you didnt notice. You were lost in a moment, your thoughts taking over, and Chris’s voice broke through. “Baby? Y/N?”

A slight jump sloshed the water. “Oh shit... “ You hurriedly say and set the glass down, grabbing a rag to wipe it up. Chris came up behind you and wrapped his arms around you to calm you down, kissing your shoulder. “Sorry, I didnt mean to startle you Babygirl.”

“Ugh, Im just jumpy” Your still wiping up the counter, when he set the box down in front of you, and you zip right up, staring at it.

“I happened to find this looking for Dodgers soap.” He eased you around to face him, his hands rubbing along your sides gently to ease you. Your eyes lift and his, well his blue ones looked hopeful at you, seeming to want you to confirm what he was suspecting.

“I- I bought it yesterday, it occurred to me that Im late. And well going off birth control, it takes a while to get back into the swing of things, but its been a while since ive stopped and.... You just, never know.”

“you never know... “ Chris’s voice echoed back and you bit your lip, pulling in a bit closer so his arms slid around your hips and you looked up at him.

“I should take it, I have been holding off, wanting to tell you, but now that you know, well theres no more reason to wait.” You reach behind you and take the box, peeling it open and taking out one of the sticks. “Uuuhh, how will you feel if its positive?” You fret with the wrapper, a bit scared of the answer.

Chris’s fingers slip under your chin and tilt your face up to meet his, warm lips press against yours and his tongue slips past the seam of your lips to glide around yours. It was a passionate, loving kiss, your hand dropping the stick to slide your hand around the back of his neck, sighing softly against his lips when you two part.

“If were pregnant Y/N, nothing would make me happier. I love you, and cant wait to see you radiant with that baby bump.”

“You mean you cant wait to see me fat and all bloated?” You teased him, so relieved to hear how absolute he was in his answer.

“Oh babygirl, I will have such a hard time keeping my hands off you, all the back rubs and belly kisses, watching you ride on top of me to get pleasure.” He grinned, at all he was describing and you rolled your eyes playfully, about to reach down for the stick, but he swept down first and handed you the still wrapped test.

“Well dont get to excited Chris, cause it might just be me after all.” You warned him, and took his hand, leading him up the stairs towards the master bath. When you two enter, you look at him nervously. He cupped your face and kissed your forehead. “Are you ready to have a baby?” Chris simply asked, and you nodded. “Lets find out then if thats in the cards for us today then.”

You went inside and looked over your shoulder to see him go to sit on the edge of the bed, his hands folded between his knees, ready to wait as long as you needed. You close the door a bit for a bit of privacy and do your business. Sitting it on the edge, you pace around and walk back out, Chris’s head whips up, a questioning look. “Now we wait.” You say as you go to sit next to him, but he isnt having it and he draws you into his lap, rubbing the small of your back.

“Can you imagine... our lives with a couple kids?” You ask him and he cant help but grin, thinking about it.

“I can and have.” He states, falling into what hes imagined, your head tilted watching as his face lit up, eyes growing wide and gleaming with the idea. “The pitter patter of feet running down the hallway with Dodger right behind to jump in bed with us, cuddling right up to there momma.” He brushed his lips against your neck, breathing your soft scent in. “Getting up middle of the night to check for monsters in the closet, plan out birthday parties, family vacations, getting to cuddle with all of you watching cartoons for the night.” He continued on, and you couldnt help but ache for all that to.

“Family dress up for Halloween. Can you imagine how many times they would want to be avengers? Since there dad is captain america after all.” You giggle a bit, and he embraces you against his chest, chuckling softly.

“I might even still fit into it at that point. Maybe. Okay baby, times up. Want me to come with you?”

You slip up and pause him. “No, be right back Handsome.” Slipping into the bathroom, you pick up the stick, and your heart sinks slightly. It was a negative. You couldnt help but feel overwhelming disappointment at it. Going back out, you shake your head softly.

“Im sorry Chris...” You start but he interrupts you and pulls you closer to him.

“Hey, theres no need to be upset.” He assured you, and when you look him in the eyes, theres a determined glint in those blue orbs, and he wiggled his brows, sweeping you to lay on the bed, and he moved over you, kissing down your neck, growling softly through his kisses and his hands slid under your shirt.  

“Just means we get to work on making a baby more often.”

You had to admit, you rather liked the sounds of that.

[blookmallow]

and now we return to outlast 2, where- 

THINGS KEEP GETTING SO, SO MUCH WORSE

(i have... a LOT im trying to process about this whole section sorry for upcoming text walls. really nasty #blood / #gore in here as well though) (i didnt realize i was This far behind on liveblogs lmao i drafted this. a while ago and didnt get back to it until now) 

---

so i fell off the bridge (shock. horror. who could have predicted this) and right into the scalled village

what.............happened to you 

fuCKING GO D

so it turns out “the scalled” are... some kind of leper colony banned from the town and left to fester and rot out here alone 

most of them are just lying around suffering and dying, i dont know what the fuck happened to them, there’s some mention of like. wildly untreated syphilis/potentially other stds they’re being told is their curse for the sins they’ve committed but does.... syphilis do that to you. it might actually be leprosy i dont know i dont want to research this. all i can think about is when i watched jesus christ superstar in high school and the leper colony song where they’re all crowding around jesus all trying to touch him REALLY freaked me out for a while

i mean its like. probably a combination of disease left horrifically untreated and massively infected given the absolutely appalling conditions these people are living in (everything’s run down and full of blood and shit and who knows what else), starvation, who knows what they’re even finding to eat out here so that’s probably causing even more disease but still jesus christ

at first it just made me really sad, sure these people came from temple gate too so they were. fucked up cultists to begin with but a lot of this is like... result of longterm emotional and mental abuse and manipulation, some of these people might not have started out as depraved evil murderers, and like. nobody deserves to live like this. except knoth lmao throw him down here, but

so i thought maybe it would turn out that you realize they’re human too, they’re just in a fucking LOT of pain and maybe you can’t do anything to help them (i dont think there’s any hope for anyone down here at this point) but maybe they’d turn out to be on my side and do something to help me fight back against the leader who abandoned them, “the most absolutely fucked up looking people are actually the most human” kind of thing but uh. that is not how things went. at all, 

ill get into How Fucking Bad this got in a second lmao but like

most of them dont really do anything to you other than bleed on you and beg you for help, some people lash out but thats like, understandable given the horrifying state they’re in, but

as it turns out, being the “scalled messiah” is a VERY bad thing, they went from occasionally lashing out at me to outright tracking me down to murder me to death which, like, honestly kind of disappointing

bc one of the things i liked the most about the first outlast was how many of the prisoners were clearly just victims too, some of them (lookin at you, naked twin guys,) were just evil and murderous but some of them were just very very mentally unwell (exacerbated by horrible living conditions and the fact that the people who were supposed to be protecting them and helping them recover were actively, intentionally working to make their symptoms worse) and couldn’t really be blamed for acting violently toward you, but

then sometimes there’s people who warn you about dangers ahead, people sitting in corners hiding and scared and wont hurt you unless you give them a reason to think you might be a threat, people just trying to stay alive, people who need help 

but that’s. not the case here, and there’s definitely a particular kind of horror in “absolutely no one in this hell town can be trusted, nobody will help me, everyone here wants to hurt me and every time i think ive made any kind of progress it gets so much worse” (except that ONe guy who tried to protect me. im still sad about him) but. i dont know i feel like there’s a missed opportunity here. im not sure if im supposed to feel like the scalled deserve to be like this because of the kind of people they were before, but i dont. i feel like the “what the fucking shit HAPPENED to these people” horror is heightened by the realization that they’re people, and just kinda using them as attack zombies is. missing something, somehow. i dont know, i cant figure out how to word what i want to say here 

i mean its absolutely fucking horrifying, i was scared out of my mind going through all this, and i still gotta give props to a video game experience that left me legitimately feeling like i needed to go take a shower and crawl under a blanket for a while 

i guess ultimately with outlast im coming here to be scared shitless more than anything else and boy did they ever fucking deliver

ok im gonna stop bc i will keep talking in circles about this forever if i dont, moving on

WHAT EVEN ARE THESE GUYS, APART FROM COMPLETELY TERRIBLE

im guessing theres some kind of... inbreeding birth defect situation going on here but i cant even process what im looking at 

that and its hard to look at them at all considering the only times i see them im getting murdered to death. my panicked screenshots hoping to get a better look later did not help 

PRETTY SURE THEY JUST MADE HIM DRINK THEIR BLOOD, 

how the fuck has my dude not thrown up like 90 times already. im glad he hasnt bc im bad emetophobia but outlast 1 did it so im honestly surprised that hasnt happened unless ive just forgotten it in the blur of nightmares im going through here 

OH

THAT’S... NOT GOOD

THAT IS REALLY, REALLY NOT GOOD

FUCK SHIT MOTHERFUCKING FUCK

i gotta say im impressed with how FAR they GO with this one, i have no idea how much game i have left but considering this isnt even the ending i am HORRIFIED to see what the fuck is gonna happen next 

i mean outlast 1 has you getting your fucking fingers sliced off and whistleblower has. That Scene (even though like. it stops before waylon actually gets cut its REALLY CLOSE)  

this whole time i kept thinking something would happen and they’d get interrupted, I’d escape somehow, they aren’t really going to have the player character get literally fucking crucified from your own perspective,

but then the nails go in 

and you’ve got one hand literally nailed to a cross

and then they start the other one 

and i was like, WOW FUCK, THEY ACTUALLY DID IT, BUT NOW HE’LL ESCAPE... SOMEHOW.... RIGHT ??? 

but they lift it up 

and you’re hanging there 

and for a second i legitimately thought it was gonna end there for him, i thought he was actually just going to die there and the game would continue with lynn or something (which, to be fair, would be a pretty cool twist, but i dont WANT blake to just die here like this) 

ANYWAY!! FUCKING GOD, THAT SURE HAPPENED 

but against all odds HE SOMEHOW DIDNT FUCKING DIE, and managed to find the strength to rIP HIS HANDS OUT OF THE NAILS AND FALL DOWN

i cannot fucking IMAGINE what that would feel like. i dont want to imagine it but i sure the fuck am now 

i dont know if its possible to like. die from bleeding out in this scene if you dont find the bandages fast enough but it sure felt like i was going to 

fucking hell i can practically feel it in my real hands i HATE THIS i HATe it

god. fuck. im gonna be thinking about this scene for the rest of my life i didnt think anything would ever be worse than the finger slicing scene in outlast 1 but this. i think this wins

wHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?!??? THERES SOMETHING CHASING ME IN THE SCHOOL FLASHBACKS NOW IM NOT EVEN SAFE HERE ANYMORE

WHAT *IS* THAT??!??

w OA h

i still have no IDEA whats going on with these flashbacks either, clearly his classmate hung herself and he feels subconsciously responsible for it because he didn’t do anything to stop her (though it doesn’t sound like he Could have done anything, and. they were kids), there’s definitely some buried trauma he never dealt with thats resurfacing now but

i still dont think its just a manifestation of trauma, because like. the recordings are still coming out as fucked up static, if he was just having really intense hallucinations there wouldn’t be any record on the camera, it would just be him filming nothing and talking to himself through a panic attack, it wouldn’t be getting consistently corrupted ONLY during the flashbacks so what the fuck is happening 

COLA

DRINK IT

i m losing it its the cola machines from the first game i diD NOT EXPECT THESE TO BE HERE 

what the fuck is christian salad 

you didn’t think i would see this, outlast devs, you thought you could hide this on the menu board and i wouldnt notice. i did notice and i demand answers

NO!!!! THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF OKAY THIS IS THE LEAST OKAY I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY LIFE 

WELL!!!!! OKAY!!!! ALRIGHT!!!! NOW THAT I’VE BEEN LITERALLY FUCKING CRUCIFIED, FELL DOWN A HILL AND STRAIGHT INTO A FENCE OF BARBED WIRE, GOT DRAGGED OUT HERE AND BURIED ALIVE, CRAWLED MY WAY OUT OF MY OWN GRAVE AND NOW HAVE HOARDS OF DISEASED ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE CULTISTS SEARCHING FOR ME SO THEY CAN DEVOUR MY FLESH, LET’S GET GOING, SHALL WE 

THIS IS FINE!!! EVERYTHING IS FINE I CANT SEE SHIT AND THERES NOTHING BUT TREES AND BARBED WIRE EVERYWHERE AND NO INDICATIONS WHATSOEVER OF WHERE I NEED TO GO BUT IT’S F IN E IM DOING GREAT 

[elijahfitz]

and introduction.

meet elijah.

hey guys! im lina! im 18 and im in the cst timezone. im currently a freshman in college and ive also been rping for like 6 years now ( i started on the neopets chat boards. if thats not an embarrassing fun fact idk what is ) but i havent rped since this summer since school was and still is kicking my ass. im really into musical theater, marvel & dc, and disney! i also used to be a lifeguard at a great wolf lodge for 2 years so if u want any funny stories about stupid children, or even just wanna be friends, lmk! im also SUPER sorry this intro is so late. i was gonna do it yesterday but then my friends wanted to hang and it kinda went downhill from there. im actually posting this like 20 min before i have a lab practical so i wont be able to reply until late tonight, but like this post to plot or anything!

some fun facts abt elijah:

he was adopted when he was around 3-4? he was abandoned and left on the back of a merchant cart headed to corona, where he was then discovered and then put into the local orphanage since no one was sure where he came from or who left him. all he had was a stuffed bear (named wooly), a basket of water and fruits to eat, and a letter that explained that:

his name was elijah

he was 2 (born on february 28th)

his parents couldnt care for him, so they hoped he would be found by a kind soul who could either take care of and love him, or else get him to someone who could

they loved him and only left him in the hopes that he would have a better life

he lived in the orphanage for almost 2 years and the few months before the 2nd anniversary of his arrival, rapunzel & eugene visited the orphanage that eugene grew up in and fell in love w/ eli, promptly adopting him soon after. he barely remembers anything about his abandonment and time in the orphanage, but always wanted to find his birth parents and let them know how he turned out. he kept the bear and basket in his room but carries the letter around with him in his wallet wherever he goes.

his full name is elijah frederic fitzherbert. he was given the middle name frederic in honor of his grandfather.

but, he much rather prefers eli. doesnt mind formalities but insists on people who know him to call him by his nickname. except he HATES being called “highness” bc he thinks it sounds stupid. he wont get upset per se if u keep referring to him as “your highness” but he will get annoyed

he very much wants to fulfill his role as “corona’s golden boy” by contributing back to his people. he worries for the kingdom more than he worries for himself and is always trying to prove that he is worthy of being a prince rather than just some random kid who got lucky enough to get adopted. most of his days are spent doing modest favors and helping out the townspeople or visiting the villages surrounding the kingdom.

when he’s in the castle you can almost always find him in the kitchen! boi loves to bake and cook. he loves the way food can bring joy to everyone. he often makes goods to give to the townspeople or the kids at the orphanage, where he volunteers at least every 2 weeks when hes not busy w prince stuff.

has an acute fear of disappointment. he feels so much pressure to prove his worth that came from growing up thinking if he did anything wrong he’d be sent back to orphanage, esp since his parents had another child. they wouldn’t want or need him anymore. he mostly got over this when he broke a vase when he was 12 and tried to run away from home, except he fell out the tree that he used to climb out his window and broke his leg lmao. his parents assured him that no matter what he did they would still love him and never abandon him, and his dad also taught him how to climb trees and roofs without dying (much to his mom’s chagrin). even tho hes pretty much over it, it kinda lingers subconsciously. thus, he overcompensates in everything he does and gets overly anxious about small problems

growing up he thought the stories that his dad told him about his past were so cool, despite the fact that he would almost always only hear those stories when he was being taught lessons of what he shouldnt do. he used to run around pretending to be flynn rider and his dad played along, planning play heists for them to do together (think scott & cassie in that one scene from ant man and the wasp) but they stopped when eli hit that age where he thought it was embarrassing to play w his dad. but, it really helped him bond w eugene and help him work on his coordination bc eli is CLUMSY AF

eli legit trips over nothing at least twice a day.

he bonded w his mom through art tho, which eventually turned into aesthetic desserts and meals! thats another reason why he loves baking and cooking so much.

when his 1st sibling was born when he was 5 at first he was jealous. he didnt get much attention at the orphanage due to the fact that there were so many kids and he was just starting to get used to the idea of having parents didnt have tons of kids always trying to win their affection and attention. he thought having a little sibling was the worst thing in the world and would hide from his parents bc if they couldnt find him they couldnt send him away. he hated his sibling.

until he met them. the second he saw their chubby face he was hooked. he swore that he would do anything and everything for them. and that continued when his parents adopted his other siblings as well. he absolutely adores them and acts like the protective older bro role

thankfully, with such a large age gap eli never rlly had to go through any of those petty squabbles that siblings usually have. he was always pretty protective of them tho and would fight when he thought they were being reckless and dumb out of his own fear that if they got hurt he would be an awful big brother (again, fear of disappointment)

he loves to travel bc his mom would always take him to these extravagant kingdoms and on these amazing sightseeing trips

this boy is hopeless when it comes to love. i can imagine lots of ppl liking him on top of all the ppl throwing themselves at him bc royal, but him being completely oblivious and thinking that no one likes him.

he had rlly bad ADD as a kid but its gotten better as hes grown. he still occasionally struggles w executive functioning tho and always gets rlly frustrated when he cant focus or remember

like i said earlier, clumsy af. no coordination. the only athletic ability he ever had was horse riding and running

that said he has a horse named may (short for mayonnaise. dont ask

he likes music a lot. prob learned piano at a young age

he probably is at the party bc royals? idk

EDIT: although (currently) unknown to eli, his true birth mother is maleficent. when eli was 2, his birth father took him away from her and had her suppress eli’s natural born powers. his father realized he was unfit to care for him, so he was the one who abandoned eli.

wanted connections!!

obv his parents and siblings? i mean cmon

one ( or both???? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) of his birth parents!!!!! they dont have to know that eli is their son or mayb they do and are too scared to tell him, but being trapped together will eventually make it revealed

childhood friends! people he met when he traveled w his mom or met at royal social functions? i rlly also want friends that he would hang w at all the royal galas and stuff and they would go do dumb stuff like look sneak out and look for secret passages of make bets of who could dump more crab cakes into the stuffy duchess’ purse when she wasnt looking

people who know him solely through his family

someone who likes eli and eli legit has no clue, no matter how much they flirt and drop hints

people who hate eli! or even just dislike him, which makes him upset bc he doesnt like the idea that there are ppl who dont like him in the world. mayb bc sometimes he gets super highstrung when things arent going how they should b and he like lashed out at them once or something. maybe they hate his parents and on principle hate him. idk

someone who was w eli in the orphanage

past relationships? i feel like hes never rlly had a bad breakup tho, its just that they prob just didnt work out. hes also bi so they can b any gender. hes still looking for his otp

idk, legit anything. send me those plots man

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

answers (16)

Anonymous said: A lot of these secrets are really serious and sad so heres a lighter one: me and my sister are knitting christmas socks for the whole family as a surprise. Ive never knit a pattern before but im really good!!

Amazing!! 

Anonymous said: idk if your still doing this but my secret is I fear im a terrible person who only acts nice to rick people into liking her and ik that actually does make me an okay but i still feel im doing it for the wrong reasons and someones going to get too close and find out the truth and hate me

That’s very self aware of you, I think-- probably too self aware. You’re absolutely right to say it’s the trying that matters, but I’m not gonna blame you for worrying about it. I have similar concerns about myself sometimes. I’m aware that for me personally they’re partially justified. Some of my kindness is self motivated. 

I think though (and it seems like you already know this) it’s the effect of the kindness that matters. Maybe it’s better for me if I have “pure” intentions, but if I don’t, I should still do the kind things anyway, right? Because at the end there’s still going to be good. And there’s nothing bad about actively trying to be good, which is all we’re doing. 

Anonymous said: my secret is that ive been chasing after a dream my whole life but im not sure ill ever achieve it. times running out and i dont know what to do if i cant. i feel like my whole life has been put on standby and i dont know the way out. i know ill be okay in the end but i dont know what the end will be and that scares me.

Shit that’s relatable. You really will be okay, but it’s terrifying in the meantime, isn’t it? To have those turning points bearing down on you?

Things will happen. You can’t stop that. Time is gonna continue, but you’ll still be there at the end. Your head’s already in the right place. 

Anonymous said: My secret is that I really, really like one of my friends, but he has a girlfriend and slept with one of my best friends when they were both super drunk. I want the feelings to stop and go back to being just friends, because I honestly think I don't have a chance, but there is a small part of me that doesn't want to let go. I don't know what to do.

Well that’s a bitch of a situation, isn’t it? Romantic feelings aren’t really my area, but I understand holding on to things you consciously want to let go. Emotions always feel like part of me, you know? I don’t want to tear them away. Sometimes it’s better to do it, though. I don’t know from a few sentences if that’s the case here, but I hope you find the way that’s the best for you 

Anonymous said: My secret is I used to be suicidal, in my pre/early teens. I had realised I was lesbian in a small, largely Catholic town and hated myself for it. I was awful at social situations and couldn’t make friends. I hated myself for having baby fat because I danced part time. Then as I got older I slowly got more confident until one day a friend died I realised that holy shit I used to be suicidal and I could have killed myself. I’m terrified that I might get like that again and actually do it

Honestly, and I know this is gonna sound cliche, but I’m always in awe of folks like you. I don’t handle my own mental health issues super well most of the time, and to hear about someone growing? Changing? Getting better? Amazing

Anonymous said: If you're still taking these... my secret is that I don't want to give birth to children ever, and would consider adopting instead (when I'm older), but if I were to voice that to any family member or even an acquitance, they would shun me for it and make sure they try to talk me out of it. I really hate how conservative people put so many expectations on my shoulders

Heyyyyyy same. I’m not planning on birthing any kids, but my parents have come down pretty heavily on the single-women-should-not-adopt-children thing, which is.... bullshit. I’m gonna adopt some kids one day, whether they like it or not. 

You know your own mind and your own plans. Other people don’t have to be happy about them, even (maybe especially) family members. 

Anonymous said: My secret is that I’m a bad friend. I don’t make time for the few friends I have and spend most my time working or being in my room. They deserve better than me.

I don’t think you’re a bad friend. Not being around isn’t bad-friend behavior. You’re not hurting anyone. You’re not doing anything wrong. And I certainly don’t think that it justifies the idea that they should leave you. Relationships are always kinda a difficult balancing act, but you don’t have to be perfect at balancing it, you know?

Anonymous said: My secret is that I'm extremely self-sufficient, I've always had to be. But because there's no one else taking care of me it's so hard to invest my time in others because I'll neglect my own mental state. It make sit hard to develop stable relationships. Every once in a while I re-realize that I'm no one's priority so I have to be my own. And it just sucks.

Shit anon that’s really really rough. It makes me sad with you. I’m not going to tell you you’re wrong, because I don’t know, do I? But I hope you are. 

Anonymous said: My secret is I imagine myself as OCs I create for certain fandoms like Young Justice or Castlevania, and I spend all my time daydreaming of how I would act in episodes and how I would interact with the characters. I think it’s because I’m not satisfied with my life, and I’m also afraid that this makes me either weird or crazy.

Oh biggest mood

I do that too. I’m not in a position to say whether that’s a good or bad thing, but I like to think it just makes us creative. For me, it eventually found an outlet in writing, and that’s been a big source of joy in my life. I had some unpleasant experiences sharing that stuff with people in the past, but for me? I don’t worry about it anymore. I know a lot of people that do similar stuff.

Write some fanfiction, maybe :) You might be real good at it

Anonymous said: My secret is I’m secretly attracted to people who are better than me at stuff

That’s not really my area, but seems to me that’s a pretty good thing to be attracted to. One of the sweetest things I hear around school is people talking about how their partners are going to be such good lawyers. It’s cute. 

Anonymous said: My secret is that my anxiety is crushing me. I don't want to feel this way anymore.

Oh, anon. I just.... feel you. I’ve been really struggling lately with the idea that other people move through life without that handicap, and it amazes and angers me. Why don’t I get that? Why am I like this? It isn’t fair. 

And it isn’t. It just isn’t. You didn’t ask to death match your brain every second of the day. You’re not any worse than everyone else, so why do you have to suffer? I don’t know. I really don’t.

The only happy thing I can say to you is people do heal. It’s bullshit that it takes so much time and effort, but it is possible. I’m better off now than I was five years ago, even if it did take five years and a whole lot of therapy, medication, and energy. You shouldn’t have to fight like this, but you can, and you can win. 

Anonymous said: My secret is Im so bitter most of the time that I cant be happy for others. Me and my best friend are both singers but I can never be happy for her when she gets compliments or any success bc im jealous and im scared I'll never learn to be selfless and happy for other people

You’re only human. You have human emotions. You have every right to feel them. The only thing that matters is your choices, because that’s the only thing you can control. 

I’m so sorry you’re scared. That’s another emotion you have every right to feel 

Anonymous said: My secret is that sometimes I hated myself for not express what I felt because I thought they'll hate me or make distance of me but I'm learning to express my feelings to others and try to be more confidence :) I hope you'll be brave too and do whatever you want to do 💜

I wanna be anon when I grow up 

Anonymous said: My secret is that my hands hurt all the time but in different ways, and I’m scared to get help because I’m scared they’ll tell me I’m making it up or being dramatic.

Man do I hate the shit people put you through to get medical help. Everybody’s entitled to ask, aren’t they? So why are we all making that difficult? Why are we making people feel bad about their own pain?

I understand your fear, but I hope you start asking questions anyway. Other people’s opinions about it aren’t your fault

Anonymous said: My secret is that my dermatillomania has gotten way worse since I got to college, so I’m having to wear headscarves again to keep myself from picking my scalp. I smuggled my scarf collection out of my room without telling my parents.

I’m sorry, anon. That’s difficult. That sucks. That’s bullshit. 

Anonymous said: my secret is that when one of my family members says something homophobic I'll laugh and agree because I'm afraid that they'll disown me if there's any shred of proof that I'm LGBT and it makes me feel like such filth

That’s not your fault. It’s theirs for making you feel unsafe, because your safety really should be your first priority! That’s okay! You’re not being a bad person by doing it. You’re just protecting someone. You’re allowed to make that someone you

[gottalovetheletos]

Shannon, a family man. Part 2.

Authors note: I once again want to state. I do not own any of these pictures they’re all from google, tumblr or pinterest. x x

WARNINGS: Cuteness.

PART 1

Shannon Imagine.

After the evening of Jared and Constance coming over they returned home. Our last week was up, so while the men were away Constance came over to stay. I was very uncomfortable. 4 days away from my due date. Shannon wasn’t too happy they had to go away for a week before the baby was going to be born but, it’s what they have to do. On the first day Constance came over it was raining so we had a nice day inside. The girls and their Nana were making lots of things in the play room. Like me Constance loved to play and make things. In this house we love a creative mess. Shannon was ringing us on face time. Jared was with him. 

“Hello my babies, hello mom.” “Hey guys, how are all of my girls?” Jared added. 

““Daddy, Uncle J” The girls shouted in unison. “Hey guys how are you doing? I hope you’re taking care of Tomo”. Was the first thing Constance said. She’s so caring. 

“We are! We’ve landed and have just arrived at the hotel. How’s the bump babe?” “Uncomfortable, I feel like I’m ready to explode” I told him.

“No mommy don’t explode” Eden shouted looking sad making Constance and I giggle. “Oh honey, mommy won’t really explode” She explained to Eden. The guys had to go as they were just checking in with us to let us know they arrived safely. They were off to go and get dinner. 

It was time for the girls to go to bed so we took them upstairs. Bathed them, brushed their teeth and tucked them into bed. Us each having one to read a bedtime story to.  After we went into the garden and admire the night life with a nice cup of tea. 

As we were watching the bats and other creatures of the night I felt like I needed to thank Constance for coming to help. I honestly don’t think I could have done it by myself. “Mom, thank you for coming to help me with the girls. I can’t thank you enough.” She looked at me with the most loving stare. “Really, Y/N it’s no problem. Thank you for letting me help you. You know those girls are my life. You and Shannon have raised them well. They are two of the most beautiful, polite, smart, creative children I know. You show the girls there is nothing that will stop them from achieving their dreams”. Her little speech made me tear up. “Thank you, you know sometimes I feel like I’m not doing a good job with them. I struggle, you know with being pregnant and all, but its nice to hear that. Thank you” “Shall we go inside?” Constance asked. I nodded my head and we gathered our mugs. Once they were in the kitchen sink we grabbed our favorite books and sat on the sofa in the living room and read until 10 pm. “My goodness, I didn’t realize the time” I gasped. We said good night and went to our rooms.

*The next morning* 

 Usually I don’t need an alarm clock when the girls are off of school and day care because they are my alarm clock however it was 9 am. I managed to have a lay in. I walked downstairs to see the girls at the breakfast table, eating breakfast and doing some drawings while Constance was doing the washing and ironing.   

“Mom, what are you doing? You’re here for a break. Please let me finish that”. I stated. “Oh honey really. You’re about to give birth do you really want to be doing all this. Honestly tell your mommy to rest girls” She laughed with the girls. “Mommy, will you draw with us?” Eden asked. “Mommy. Paper” Saskia said handing me some paper. I looked at Constance. She just nodded at me, so I took a seat. I whipped out my phone and asked the girls to pose with their waters that they had in mugs so I could send a picture to daddy. 

I sent him a text saying: “Taking after their daddy!! xxx” 

He sent back: “😂😂😂. Ahh I miss you guys so much xxx” 

A couple days went by. I was sitting on the sofa talking to Shannon on face time. “So we’re gonna make our way back today. It’ll take a couple of hours. Is your hospital bag packed?” Shan asked me. “Oh good. We cant wait to see you and yes everything is in there” I told him. We were lost in conversation when “Shit Shannon. I think my waters just broken”. “What are you sure?” “Shannon what do you mean am I sure! Yes I’m sure, I’m fucking sitting in it. I must have been having slight contractions earlier. I thought it was just cramps” I laughed. “Babe you’re going to have to leave now If you wanna make it to the birth of your son” I added. “I’m gonna get my stuff and start driving to the hospital. See you there. Don’t give birth without me being there okay?” he sounded panicked. We’d done this twice already, both births taking over 8 hours and he’s panicking. “Yes Shannon I’ll squeeze my vagina to hold him in” I joked trying to lighten his mood. “That’s my girl. Love you see you soon” “Love you too daddy”. I found my way to Constance. “Erm. we’re going to have to ring the upholstery cleaning company. My waters have just broken all over the sofa” I told her. “What? Oh my god. I’ve gotta get the girls and your bag”. “Mom, calm down please”. I laughed. “I’ll go and get the bag. Please can you call the upholstery cleaning company first then get the girls ready. I’m gonna have a really quick shower” I asked her. She nodded and looked for a company to clean the sofa. Since I’d already been through this twice I knew it was not a fast pace like in the movies, so I went an had my shower. After I dressed in comfy clothes and put my bag by the front door. I went into the girls room where Constance was getting them dressed. “Don’t worry we’re not in a rush. The contractions have to be 5 minutes apart. At the moment I’m around 15 minutes. The hospital wont take me in if they’re more than 5 minutes apart. I say I’ve got at least half an hour. 

 It was actually an hour and a half before we went to the hospital where Shannon had arrived at the same time as us. “Oh good no baby yet” He rushed over and gave me a kiss and kissed the girls. “Jared’s just parking the truck” Shannon told us as he was picking up Saskia. We waited for Jared out the front of the building. “Shouldn’t you guys be inside? Aren’t one of you having a baby?” He joked. “Oh is that why we’re here?” I joked back. “Good to see you Y/N. How you doing?” As he asked me that a contraction pulsed from inside me. “Ahhh.. Brilliantly thanks J”. “Right lets get you inside” Shannon took my hand helping me into the building. Jared picking up Eden on the way and putting his other arm around his mom. Jared and his mom and the kids were in the waiting room asleep on the chairs. Shannon came out. “Guys, my little boy is here” He said gently to wake them up but not the whole waiting room. “Can we come an see” Constance asked tiredly. He nodded and lead the way to the room. “Guys meet Oakly” I introduced him. 

The girls were in awe of their new little brother. Constance stood next to me wiping the tears from her eyes and bending down to give me a hug and kiss on the cheek. “He’s beautiful, can I please hold him?” “Of course you can” I said handing her my precious baby boy. Jared came over to hug me too and admire his new nephew. “Well done Y/N, he’s so handsome just like his uncle”. “Give the kid a chance J. He’s handsome just like his dad.” Shannon chuckled. 

I sat back and watched as everyone was laughing a giggling and in this moment I knew our family was complete. 

[tebbydear-movedblogs]

All for the gay ask

ALL??? this is a lot so its under the cut. anyone who wants to learn Too Much about me can check it out ! (psst i tag @sonshine-de-la-vega @inthheightlive and @theamazingjaybird i love you guys)

1. describe your idea of a perfect datehhhmmm a cafe? im cliche,, just somewhere nice like a movie or for lunch so we can talk and have a nice time

2. whats your “type”All Girls Are So Good. like shit man. small petite girls make my heart go crazy but big buff girls make me wanna scream idk tall girls who could rest their head on my head man big soft girls with lotsa chub i will cry all girls are my type lmaooowhen it comes to guys,,, like,, idk. some of them are cute but idk. :|

3. do you want kids?im not sure! i dont Hate kids but im terrified of being a bad mum like my own,, and i think ‘aunt’ suits me better. i cant really see myself as a mother- but that could change in the future

4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth?i think that depends on who my partner is! like if they wanted to carry, or if it was possible for us to conceive traditionally,,, who knows!

5. describe the cutest date you’ve ever been oni have never been on a date bc i am gross and will never find love !!!

6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?)see above!!! the idea of it terrifies me

7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay?i like both !! but i am always so tired during both. im like an afternoon person

8. opinion on nap dates?Good Stuff

9. opinion on brown eyes?beautiful !!!! especially when paired with dark hair and dark skin like fuck me up- but i think my own are ugly tho

10. dog gay or cat gay?CAT CAT CAT. i dont Dislike dogs but they make me nervous, too much energy and too Heavy and Big. I love kitters so much. so much u dont understand. cats literally keep me on this earth

11. would you ever date someone who owned rodents or reptiles?yeah totally !!! why is this a question?? are the good sneks that much of a turn off?? (so long as they treat them well obviously)

12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someoneas seen above,, i dont have much experience with this- but id look at how they treat other people. if theyre intolerant or like,, just needlessly mean to people?? thats definitely a dealbreaker.

13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one?idk ! i never really thought about it and i mostly thought they were not bad but very alien,, like that could never be Me u know, or anyone i knew. but like i say it never really crossed my mind until i joined tumblr

14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger selfoh boy. u think ur sad Now.gurlbut also- its ok that u think that girl is cute. its gonna be ok. u dont need to be scared. loving girls is Great and ur gonna know that soon.

15. (if attracted to more than one gender) do you have different “types” for different genders?not really! i remember being attracted to more feminine guys which i now know was my brain going !butch lady! lmaoo

16. who is an ex you regret?never dated !!!!! i am unloveable!!!

17. night club gay or cafe gay?cafe!!! clubs scare me and i dont drink

18. who is one person you would “go straight” foranthony ramos

19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay?movie gay !! i love movieees

20. favourite gay ship (canon or not)yall know me,,, sonny/graffiti pete from in the heights dominate my writing rn

21. favourite gay youtubertie between macdoesit and mileschronicles !!!

22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person?never asked anyone out !!! that sounds like Social Interaction to me

23. have you ever been in love?yes

24. have you ever been heartbroken?yes

25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someoneidk i like,, imagine going on a date with them?? imagine how id feel if they were dating someone else??

26. favourite lgbt musician/bandhayley kiyoko!

27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gaysthere is nothing wrong with what youre feeling. youre going to be ok- there is nothing wrong or dirty or dangerous about the way that you love. there will be people who dont accept you. fuck em. you are amazing

28. are you out? if so how did you come outim sort of out to friends? i dont really have a label for my sexuality so  its hard. but ppl know i like girls, i just kinda mentioned it and let ppl get used to it

29. what is the most uncomfortable / strange coming out experience you have i dont really have one! i have one for another person tho- a friend of mine made a group chat and came out,, we were all being supportive and shit but then this One Girl,, who we already knew was a Good Homophobic Christian Girl,, typed out a whole long paragraph about how she doesnt hate him!! but his lifestyle is wrong,, like,, it was copypasta material

30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexualityit will get better. if you dont have people in your life who love you for who you are now, im so sorry, but know that there are so many people out there who will love you and accept you and everything is going to get so much better

[anxious-band-pan]

A list of random crackheadery from high school cause I low key miss it

“I’m gonna yeet myself into the afterlife”

“I’m gonna rotisserie cook your future children and eat them”

“KARMA’S A B*TCH!” Yelled while playing a game of uno in homeroom very loudly

a kid walked around our lunchroom with a fake blue bird pinned in his hair which was life size and honestly the weirdest part of lunch

“What should i put on my shirt for (x club)? It’s between uwu, Space Boi uwu, and rawr XD. My goal is to be as cringey as possible.”

*crying* “Well you just threw off my groove and i-“

(To the tune of G-6) “I’m a dumb bish, I’m a dumb bish”

“(X name)! How far would you have been if i didn’t stop you to tell you you’re a thot”. “Probably yeeted off a bridge by now”

“He just looks like a sad pigeon with a boss hat”

(To the tune of celebrate good times) “end my suffering, come on!”

“My hands are white!” “YOU’RE WHITE!”

“I’m a firm believer in don’t judge something unless you try it, unless it’s illegal or drugs; don’t do drugs kids”

“.....but not all dogs can fit on skateboards!”

“Can we just cut my legs off and sell them”

“Invade my body, daddy bacteria”

“That’s what I imagine it would sound like if a spider ran in tap shoes”

“My church had an average attendance of 421 this year, we were so freaking close”

“Did you know that Waluigi has the same number of syllables as hallelujah, so if you think of any song with hallelujah in it you can replace it with Waluigi and it’ll fit”

“Anyone wanna feel my swollen gland”

“Your gay is like your mother’s tendency to sleep with men: plentiful”

“If being gay is a sin is satan the gay fairy”

“Vines are like actual vines: you get stuck and you never get out” “vines can choke you though” “Yes choke me daddy vine”

“You are each gonna have a burger component on your back” “I wanna be the meat ;)”

“Grab me however you want daddy hamburger”

*showing a paper with a picture of a bottom bun* “I guess you could say I’m a.... bottom”

“STOP EATING THE DUCT TAPE!”

“Shut up, don’t talk about my potatoes like that”

“Can you snort tide pods”

*whisper screaming and hitting a chair* “WHY IS COTTON EYED JOE BACK”

“But if two furries screw, is god cool with that?”

“PHD- pretty high dolphins”

“Do crocs have memory foam? i think not”

“I’ve run out of creative ways to whip”

“This is why we shouldn’t legalize weed, because we’re having this conversation sober”

“Don’t you just get sad every time a chair dies”

“Praise our lord and savior, Magic Mike”

“I’ll give you fifty bucks if you can guess what’s in my thermos.” “Coffee.” “No. It’s chicken noodle soup”

“I’m gonna eat your fingernails” “did you say EAT” “yeah, I’m gonna chew his fingernails off”

“I already went back to Mexico”

“You’re the BFG” “How so” “Big Frickin Gay”

“But since you’re gay, would you date me if i was” “the only way I’d date you is if you were an online catfish”

“We have a speaker with fake arms today” “he cant bring those in the school those are weapons” “how is he gonna throw them?” “With his feet”

“did you say the THOT police?” “no you idiot the THOUGHT police”

“I’m not scared of Russia. Like honestly i can beat them”

“I share a brian with satan and it smells shirty” (not a typo. Those exact words. I think it was making fun of a typo)

“I look like I’m about to go repaint all my mugs with lead paint”

“And today on the game show of sentences i never thought I’d have to say: it’s not a necklace if you buy it in the pet aisle of walmart”

“You look like the kind of person who would cut spaghetti with dull scissors”

“Hey, hey, hey, not in my f***ing Christian Minecraft server”

“We’re all going to hell” “Not me” “listen we’re in a school we’re already there” “True”

*to the tune of “what is love? Baby don’t hurt me”* “POKÉMON! BABY DON’T HURT ME, DON’T HURT ME, NO MORE”

“YO! PITBULL JUST CAME IN AND OFFERED DONUTS!”

“I’m gonna suck your eyeballs”

“Are we not allowed to have our nails painted since we’re guys” -a definite female, to another definite female

“Ok, so here’s the deal: straight people are uncooked spaghetti. Gay people are cooked rotini. I’m kinda like a cooked spaghetti. I’m not straight, I’m in between.” “The Italian is now interested I’m here what’s up with pasta”

“This song reminds me of Mexican food” “How does this remind you of Mexican food it’s jazz?”

“You’re not allowed to switch schools, I need my twin cop”

“You guys are the reason I wanna die” “you guys are the reason I drink”

*taking a huge drink of peanut butter hot chocolate* “I’m allergic to peanut butter” “THEN WHY DID YOU DRINK IT????” “Because i wanna die”

“so there’s two kinds of country hicks: the yee haws and the haw yees. Now the yee haws are the ones in country songs, they’re vaguely normal and drink and do horse riding stuff. The haw yees are the ones who fish with their hands and then f*** their cousins afterwards”

“Pop is just spicy water”

“I’m sorry, it’s not pizza Steve anymore” “Who is it” “the fresh prince of bel air”

A kid took his phone out of the microwave like that was a normal thing that humans do

“BUT IS HE DATING THE DEER?!”

“Chinese people eat cats, why not lesbians?” *teacher looks up* “saying Chinese people eat cats is too far”

“A gryffindor and a ravenclaw ooh this is good”

Two girls at the exact same time: *Gasp* TEA!

*girl leans back and cracks her head on a counter kind of thing* a friend:”that’s the third f***ing time!”

“SUCK MY WEENIS!”

“If you ever need a professional con artist I’m here” *teacher looks up* “you didn’t hear that” teacher:”hear what”

“Guys I’m stupid. You know when there’s a big number and then a lil number what’s the lil one called” “exponent?” “Yeah!”

*impersonating yoda screaming*

*chugging coffee* “well, I’m still just as tired, but now my atoms are just jazzed.”

“Not to quote Frozen, but you can’t marry a man you just met!”

“Not knowing what kind of exorcise people are talking about is always interesting, because I don’t know if we’re talking about working out or satan”

“If we actually die in the scene where they kill themselves, do we get bonus?” Teacher: *sighs* “sure.”

“Physically you have hair but spiritually you’re bald.”

*Singing boyfriend by BTR for about an hour straight*

“Stop saying teehee you sound like off brand Michael Jackson”

“He smells dead mice for a living!”

*kicking someone’s foot off a ledge* “long live the king!”

*holding a banana like a weapon* “give me all your debt!”

“I want my fingers to be four inches long”

“Let me read your head for a second”

“Oh no you’re white out now”

“This is what happens when your insides are cold”

“Did you just call me a dumb banana?”

“So Kelvin is Fahrenheit...”

“Let me add another fat roll to your arm”

“You wanna see a cute pic of my baby nephew?” “Sure but I might cry”

“Listen I need these pictures to load so I can see if my goats are being little crackheads”

“I keep trying to see if you’re a VSCO girl but you’re holding out on us”

“Pumpkin. Spice. Bleach.”

“I’m already a mother and I don’t like it.”

“This is a vegan cult, Jessica”

“Did you just say you started a religion?” “Yeah, I think I’ll call it the Fedoras”

“Isn’t a fedora just like... a cowboy hat but formal”

“Yes choke me daddy panic”

“I’m your emotional support crackhead deal with it”

“She got possessed by country satan”

“If you think about it toes are just little feet”

“Oh my god imagine if you pronounced Roosevelt like goose”

“Roosevelt got really sad when i broke up with him.”

“I love how I just classified reaper as its own state of being”

“So Santa’s not a cryptid”

“We’re not meat creatures like crabs”

“Do you want to be a famous writing?”

“Self care is becoming a breaded chicken tender on the weekends”

“You are a little yellow boy”

“I gotta look up how to have a stroke”

“At least you still have straight privilege”

“You piece of b*tch”

“Children having skulls is scary”

“You wanna crochet my friend a rat”

“If you kill yourself and you have a life insurance policy that your family then collects, is that insurance fraud?”

“Spaghetti man is talking about pregnancy and I’m scared”

“You’re the cutest trash I’ve ever seen”

“Poetry? Lame. DriversEd? Lame. Dousing myself in butter and becoming a dinner roll? F*ckin’ MINT”

“Finally, an invention to get rid of me” *zooms in on words garbage disposal*

“Is Swiper from Dora a furry or an actual fox?”

“I’m laughing because I just realized the word identity has t*tty in it”

“Oh my god I thought Paris was a country”

“Girl if you are having a baby this month the only thing you are birthing is FLAT Stanley”

“My eyes really said gardening”

“I snorted soapy water this morning”

“Intestines: do you really need them or are they a social construct?”

“I watched the first episode of that show illegally, and it was great”

“How much does a hit man cost in this economy?”

“Is santa wearing stripper heels?”

“No, I didn’t give birth to a baby cow”

“I am a whole grape not a raisin”

“I’ve decided on my career. I’m becoming a hit man for cheap”

“And you fought the tomato”

“You can be gay with the homeless”

[tmntfandom2012]

NO HARD FEELINGS

Note: This is from DeviantArt @ Mikibaby94

A/N: Im back with some ideas and mini stories! For my best friend's ideas to come into play in your imagination.

TMNT NEXT GEN BELONGS TO THIS GAL RIGHT HERE @Suzukiwee1357/ @suvipelkonen

Remy @Suzukiwee1357/ @suvipelkonen

Irrilia @myrling-art

Kohana @mikibaby94

IF YOU GUYS WANT MORE, PLEASE TELL ME, AND DONT WONT IM 95% SURE I CAN BRING IRRILIA INTO THIS. SO PLEASE PEOPLE FAVORITE COMMENT, ENJOY!!!!!

Hana stared at the blank computer screen, feeling the boredom draining her young teenage soul. She sighed as she folded her arms and lounged back against the pillow. She was in the pit of the living room, laying in her usual spot that she and her cousin liked to argue over all the time, but luckily her cousin was still no where to be found, but then again, he usually doesnt stay up half the nights. With that thought in mind, she closed her laptop and packed it up. She'd better go to bed before her uncle Leo caught her up again. He tends to do that, him or uncle Raph. Though when uncle Raph finds her, he just lets it go. Her uncle Leo lectures her forever on how its important to sleep more. She hoisted her computer bag, scratching at her messy hair, yawning. She looked at her watch, six thirty. Uh oh.

"And why are you still up missy?" A voice came from the shadows, suddenly arms wrapped around her neck, holding her in a head lock. "You should know better!" The voice added. Hana didnt think twice, she grabbed the beings arm, flipping the anonymous over onto their back, she was about to strike a punch when light captured the mutant before her. It wasnt her uncles, or her father. She huffed, making a strand of hair in her face blow. "Remy! You little---"

Remy snickered, smirking as he got to his feet and dusted off. "Oh man you should of seen yourself. You chicken."

Hana gave him a look, unimpressed, "This chicken just flipped your butt." She retorted in a matter of fact tone. "What are you doing up this early anyways?"

Remy shrugged, "Woke up, and just saw my sweet baby cousin here, all alone in the dim big living room, where monsters can just come and get her."

Hana kept her eyes on him, her face souring. "You dummy, we are the same age."

"According to our birth records, I am older than you." He said.

The brown eyed girl gave him a hard look before her eyes caught sight of her father and uncle Leo coming out of their rooms. Leo rubbed his eyes a bit, yawning. "Hana did you stay up again?" He questioned.

Hana shifted her eyes and gripped her bag, "No. I uh...just came out here---" She began then gave her cousin a look, "Remy was keeping me up off and on, finally i came in here to tell him to get to bed before his dad found him."

Leo's eyes drifted to his son, giving his son a look. Remy put his hands up and shook his head, "What? no way!"

"Of course thats what happened Remy, I mean why would I lie? I have no purpose in getting my older cousin in trouble...now would I? Now if you excuse me boys, I have to go get changed." She then started for her room and looked back to stick her tongue out at Remy, she turned her head back, hiding her big grin on her face as she heard Leo's lecture start.

***

Kohana opened her eyes, feeling better now she had slept a bit before going to training, she saw her alarm clock, Twelve O' Clock. Great. Once dressed she grabbed her weapon and came out of her room, ready to train, her tracks stopped when she saw her family in the living room, thats odd since her parents and uncles are always in the dojo around noon.

"You must of been wicked tired little dudette." Mikey spoke, settling himself next to Liz as he started munching on his slice in a way that would be disgusting if you had just met him.

Liz watched Mikey for a moment, a little confused by how he even eats like that. Her eyes shifted to her husband as if she was silently trying to send him something, in normal cases Leo would pick up on it, but his eyes were on Hana.

"Hana its four in the afternoon, youve been asleep all day."

"Thats not possible, my clock---" She stopped when her eyes drifted on the back of her cousins head, oh, so you wanna play it that way huh. She noted in her head, she folded her arms and thought. She then started water works, "Im sorry Uncle Leo, I just, Ive been so tired lately, my body is you know...going through...the change.."

That got all eyes on her.

"The change?" Mikey asked.

Hana nodded, "Yeah, I became a woman today, and the cramps, along with the none stop bleeding, its just been a long night. And not to mention the womanly body parts---"

Remy started screaming, covering his ears, "Dad make her stop! Make her stop!"

Leo looked already uncomfrotable, "Okay okay, we get it Hana."

"Thats not the only part Uncle Leo." She then stepped down and sat next to Remy, "I think my boobs are getting bigger----" She started saying over Remys yelling till April smacked her heavy books down on the floor making the room go silent. The silent lingered for a while as April flipped her hair out of her eyes. "Sorry I saw a bug." She said simply.

"And here I thought youd say something about our daughter torturing the young boy about hearing girls body parts." Donnie said.

"How is it torturing, there is nothing wrong with explaining women stuff, like right now my boobs are so swollen, i really think their balloons." Liz said simply, she then looked over at the others, "Oh what? its not like I said anything about my v---"

"Okay! Okay we get it...dear." Leo interrupted her, he sighed, feeling suddenly his age.

Donnie stood up, "Subject change, do you know when Raph and Irrilia are supposed to come back?"

Leo shrugged, "He said sometime tonight I think."

Hana stood up fast, in the process her hand smacked Remy in the face making him flinch, though she was oblivious to her actions, when it came to her older cousin she couldnt function right. She didnt know why, "My big cousin is coming home tonight!? Oh gosh! and I look like this!" She gasped.

Remy groaned, rubbing his face, "Why couldnt you have been a boy. and Why couldnt the only boy be near my age!" He glared at Donnie and April.

"Dont look at me kiddo, Koji just kinda fell into our lives, she...she just happened." Donnie said, he grunted when April smacked his arm before she stood. "Remy, Kohana, why dont you two get ready for patrol."

"Patrol? No way, I cant be bothered with that, I gotta hurry and get ready---"

"Its not like your dating her Hana." Remy grumbled.

"Well no, but shes my idol. Unlike some people who's a thorn in my side." Hana said closing her eyes and opening one eye looking at Remy.

Remy he didnt know why but her words struck a nerve, a bad one at that. He stood up, glaring at her. "You know what, fine. Your a pain in my side too." He snapped before making his way past his parents.

"Where are you going?" Leo asked a little frantic.

"Anywhere where miss know it all isnt in my sight." He sneered.

Hana silently watched her cousin go, frowning, guilt slowly overcame her when all eyes were on her. She looked down, turning to the rooms, she hurried to hide herself in the one place she felt safe. Her dads old room. Strange isnt it.

***

Remy stood on a roof top watching the bright lit city being lively. They werent kidding when they say this city never sleeps. He frowned, contemplating on wheather he should go back home or not, why should he, all he's gonna get is trashed by the princess of knows it all. He folded his arms. "I hate women. They're so annoying sometimes..." He shook his head. "No, I dont hate them, Hana's not even a woman, that'd be an insult to the pretty women." He grumbled.

"Whoa, who pissed you off?" A voice from behind spoke. Remy turned to see a tall, bulk asian guy staring back at him. The guy smirked big, "Awe, you kinda look cute with a pissy look on that face."

Remy curled up his lip, "And you look stupid with that face." He spat. The black haired guy snickered. "Thats adorable really, so whats your name? Chumpy?"

Remy scoffed, "No. Thats my fathers name though." From what he heard anyways.

"Im Yoshiro." He offered.

"I dont care." Remy said simply.

"Look kid Im trying to be nice to ya." Yoshiro said.

"Did I even ask you to? and Im not a kid you irritation on my plate." Remy spat, rolling his eyes.

Yoshiro scoffed, "Adorable."

"Your two seconds away from being road kill." Remy threatened making Yoshiro bellow in laughter making the fire of the angsty teen burn even more. Remy threw out a bokken his dad once handed down to him, before he could even move he suddenly felt a hit to his face, he gritted his teeth when he felt his back connect to he cement of the roof. In the process Remy dropped his bokken and before Yoshiro could decapitate him, he whipped out a small knife he's learned to keep in his wraps, he gritted his teeth, staring in the eyes of his now enemy. Slowly Remy felt the pressure of the guy putting, the blade coming closer and closer to his neck, luck was on the young mutant's side. Suddenly the human boy was shoved off by someone. A woman stood between the two, he watched in awe.

"Yoshiro! I tell you to do one job and yet I see you rivaling with a mutant whoms not your concern?!" The woman scolded. She turned to Remy, kneeling down, she held out a hand. "Remy? Are you okay?" She asked.

Remy eyed her, "Who...Who are you?" He asked sounding a little scared.

Karai carefully helped the young boy to his feet and held him up till he was steady, "Im Karai, your father and I have history. Im so sorry for my..." She looked back frowning, "Student."

Yoshiro stared at Karai for a moment before folding his arms and stared at his feet. Karai kept her eyes on him for a moment. Her eyes diverted back to Remy when he started moving for an exit. "Where are you going?"

"Home." Remy said.

"Ill follow" Karai spoke, already determined to, "I can explain that bruise on your face to your father, come on boys." She ordered.

Once in the sewers the sloshing of water as they made their way back to the lair was all that was heard, The boys walked side by side in silence till Yoshiro finally broke the silence. "No hard feelings?" He smirked at Remy as he kept walking while Remy stopped, his eyes drew daggers at the jerk, One day. He cursed in his head. The rest of the way stayed silent.

***

"Leo!" Karai called out, Leo came out of the kitchen at the sound of his name and stopped when he saw Karai, A smile slowly came to his face, "Karai, its been a while."

"Of course it has." Karai hugged him short before she made way for Leo's son, "Your son and my...student had a trival." She explained.

Leo went to his son frowning. "You okay kiddo?" He asked trying to hide his worry.

Remy looked back at the uglyness blinding his eyes, he looked back at his dad, "Id be better if that jackle----"

Leo closed his eyes and put his hand on his sons mouth. He shook his head cursing on how much his kid acts like his mother, sometimes thats a blessing and a curse. He opened his eyes and looked at his son, he pulled his hand away.

"Ow!" Remy snapped making sure his dad knew that he hit his bruise.

"Go see your mother." Leo said simply before rubbing his head a little embarrassed by that action. "She should be in the bedroom."

Remy sighed, turning for the bedroom, on his way he met Hana. Hana widened her eyes when she saw his bruise. She wanted to ask but decided against it, though she did go after him. "Remy? Are you still mad?"

"Passing by you should tell you that. I thought you were supposed to be the smart one." He spat before he was yeilded as she quickly got in front of him. Her eyes were red, and her cheeks were puffy. "Have you been crying?"

Her face turned red a bit and shook her head quickly. Her bangs covering some of her face. She looked nervous, and guilty. She had never been the best hider of feelings. "Im...Im sorry Remy, I sometimes just dont know how much of a jerk I can be."

Remy rolled his eyes, He folded his arms, "And?"

Hana looked at him confused for a moment, she surrendered anyways, "And Im a stupid girl with no heart...or brains."

"Aaaand?" He ventured.

Hana gave him a look, she looked away, her eyes shifting a moment, suddenly feeling anxious, she never knows why she does, her father swears its her anxiety. Whatever that is. "And Ill do your chores for a month to show how sorry I am." She looked up at him and smiled a little.

Remy's face slowly softened, His arms wrapped around her for a long moment before he pulled back. Her smile grew wider revealing her small gap, "So no hard feelings?"

The young hybrid gazed at her hand as she held it out, he then took it and shook it. "No hard feelings." He agreed.

Hana shook on it, giving out a small chuckle before her eyes caught sight of the boy standing afar. Her eyes grew big, she dropped her hand and went to the steps, "Oh...my...gosh..." She said, suddenly feeling a burst of emotions, her heart started racing as her palms grew sweaty so sudden, she gazed at the gorgeous face, those big brown eyes, that black hair. That body. Why did it get so hot suddenly. Remy went to his cousin and noticed her staring at him, he shook his head already knowing what was going through her head. "Dont even think about it Hana, he's bad news."

Hana couldnt help but to smile even more when the guy looked her direction, "If he's bad news, then I need some bad news." She said with a soft voice, "Hes so....perfect...Oh man, I think im thinking about it!"

Remy grabbed her arm, "I think my mom wanted us." He started dragging her to the room.

"Oh come on Remy, just let me say hi." She begged.

"No way, hi ends with you and him doing things." Remy glared a bit, "Thats how I was born, thats how you were born. No."

As Hana resisted and whimpered Remy hoisted her over his shoulder, he looked over his shoulder, glaring at the guy before he headed for the room, "Youll thank me Hana. He's bad news all over."

Hana propped her elbow on his shoulder, putting her chin in her hand, she kept her smile. "Whatever you say Remy..." She said, absolutely not listening at all to her cousin.

Whats bad is, Remy knew that, He groaned.

Oh how he hated this new guy.

[buckybarnesappreciationsociety]

“Brightest Star”

 Summary:  In response to @tatortot2701 AU Writing Challenge, my prompt is “it’s positive.”

I wanted to establish a backstory leading up Y/N’s pregnancy. So, I sprinkled a pinch of angst, mentions of infertility and maximum fluff!!!

Tay, hope you’re pleased and thanks for allowing me to be a part of this challenge.

 Words: 798

 Warnings: Mentions of infertility and a boatload of fluff.

 A/N: This is unchartered territory for me. The inability to conceive is unfathomable. No way am I making light of infertility.

 The time was right to step out of the spotlight and have a life outside of the Avengers. James Buchanan Barnes knew after he married Y/N, field work took a backseat to married life. He even took a page from Clint’s book and built a nice house for Y/N in the same area as the Bartons. Bucky now trained new recruits and his wife settled into domestic bliss quite well. She pursued her dream and became an author.

  In spite of the triggers being removed, the world still saw The Winter Soldier. That’s when the idea for her best selling book was birthed. Y/N was infuriated with the media’s portrayal of her husband. The title was powerful, “There’s Good In Him: The Real James Buchanan Barnes.” After the success of her book, when they went out to the movies, dinner or grocery store, people would thank him for his service and kids loved to see the metal arm because it was cool. There was one thing missing…...a baby.

 Bucky and Y/N dreams were quickly doused when the doctor revealed a blockage in one of her fallopian tubes. A laparoscopy or open abdominal surgery was the only alternative. Bucky didn’t like either choice.  They had a serious decision to make. Thanking the doctor, the Barnes’ walked out feeling quite dejected.

 The inconceivable notion of no children haunted their thoughts from time to time. Bucky suggested adoption; Y/N said ‘no’ but kept the option open. What they needed was a miracle, coupled with faith.

  One balmy night after dinner, lounging in their hammock, Y/N’s attention turned to a star that shined brighter than the rest.

“James, do you see that star? Oh my goodness, it’s so bright.”

“Yeah s’pretty.”

“Our baby’s sending us a message sweetheart.” A tear slipped down her jaw.

Bucky didn’t want to sound negative, he simply cradled her in his arms and kissed the top of her head.

 A year and a half passed since her diagnosis. One evening, Bucky noticed how Y/N became drained performing the simplest tasks. She brushed it off as overexertion. During a visit to the compound, everyone was enjoying a delectable catered meal when Y/N had to leave the table, holding her stomach and ran to the restroom. Her attentive husband followed. Bucky found her passed out on the floor.  Dr. Cho and Bruce rushed her to the medical wing for an exam.

 Y/N’s symptoms prompted the curious doctor to perform a pregnancy test. Dr. Cho’s eyes brimmed with unshed tears. “I cannot believe this! Y/N, it’s positive. You’re pregnant!”

 Bucky held Y/N sobbing uncontrollably. She laid her dainty hand on his stubbled jaw. “It’s really happening.  We’re gonna be parents.”

 After composing himself, Bucky inquired, “How far along is she?”

 “She’s 2 months. I’ll give you a prescription for prenatal vitamins, but it’s imperative  Y/N follow up with an Obstetrician. Given her prior diagnosis, she’ll probably need lots of rest.”

 “Trust me, she won’t lift a finger for the next 7 months.”

 Bucky shook Dr. Cho and Bruce’s  hands vigorously. “Thank you so much.”

 Y/N and her excited spouse placed their hands on her stomach, “Hey there Rebecca Faith, it’s your momma and daddy. We love you so much our little miracle.”

 To ensure Y/N got proper rest, Tony hired contractors to build an addition to their house. A bedroom with full bath, fully stocked baby area and a bedside mini-refrigerator loaded with water, juice, milk, pickles and ice cream. The flamboyant billionaire even installed an AI system, W.E.D.N.E.S.D.A.Y. It took some getting used to, but eventually Bucky warmed up to “her.”

The months passed swiftly. At 8 months, Y/N could no longer walk without assistance. Her bulging belly made mobility difficult. Bucky didn’t mind at all. It gave him another excuse to cater to her every need.

 Time arrived for the newest Avenger to make an entrance. Rebecca Faith Barnes weighed 8 lbs. 3 ozs. 19 inches long with dark mocha hair and shimmering blue eyes. Bucky beamed as he fawned over Y/N and Becca. She truly was the brightest star in the sky, illuminating her parents heartache into pure bliss.

@tatortot2701 @omalleysgirl22 @erisjade @rebelslicious @irene-rogue-adler @sergentulbarnesbucky @sexylibrarian1 @sgtjamesbuchananbarnes107th @caplanbuckybarnes @papi-chulo-bucky @plumfondler @cant-stop-the-fandoms @senselesssamii @iamwarrenspeace @ajimaginingtheworld @katykyll @katiej98 @goodnightwife @gingerbatchwife @amrita31199 @bolontiku @buckywintersoldierbarnes2017 @bucky-bear-barnes @this-kitty-has-claws @metalarmproblems @anbanananna @lowkeybuckytrash @jezzula @readerwinterbarnes @mar-gega @supersoldierslover @gaybybirth @samuelsbucky @sebbybooks @beccaanne814-blog @justareader @mcuimxgine @vvintersouldier @a-tale-of-two-comics @opaque-daydream @flirtswithdanger @sebbymylove16 @c-a-v-a-l-r-y @soldatbarnes @secondstartotheright-imagines @kenobi-and-barnes @cumonbucky @marvelous-imagining @rhyjr2

[punkscowardschampions]

Indie & Rio

Indie: where you left me to go mama?? Rio: aw bubba 😧😔 Rio: plenty of stuff in the kitchen if you ain't already raiding Indie: got my head in the fridge never over its madness Indie: 🍾 + 🍊 for breakfast innit 😂 when you lavish Rio: 😂 we on the champagne too Rio: calling a 2 drink max for you so you don't rinse 'em 😜 Indie: dont be lawin that for me too tho Rio: Bitch I is, keep up Indie: naaaah thats only a glass in each hand Indie: you got rules whenever you be but cant gimme none Rio: 😑 Rio: even you can't test me rn tho Rio: on ☁9 Indie: jam girl im playin 🍾 aint lush 😕 aint be telling mckenna that i cant hang w the poshos but fr Indie: is it? whats got you feelin higher than me? 411 Rio: not got dem mature tastebuds yet younger 😉 Rio: [Picture in the Tiffany shop] Indie: allow it i got 👅 that 💸 cant buy bitch Indie: what bling the boy tryna drop on you 👑 didnt even hear you arguing like 👏 get it girl Indie: guilt gifts be 🔥 Rio: Better than the 🚬 joke I thought you would Rio: maybe you are gettin so grown 😜 Rio: nah nah Rio: not even Rio: idk how to say it it feels surreal, like Rio: you'll think i'm playing fr Indie: innit tho 👵👵👵👵 Indie: ?? Indie: youre playing not to take me w to get a 👶 🎁 but you kno 💖💖💖 Rio: That is a good idea tho the price tag would have you shook Rio: [Pic] Rio: It's an engagement ring Rio: ahh I feel a bit sick Indie: YOUVE GOT JOKES MAN 😂😂😂 Indie: even mckenna aint that highkey he gonna proper wife you rn Rio: mad init Indie: serious? Rio: yeah Rio: promise Indie: 😲😲😲😲😲😲😲 Indie: bitch i aint wearing no dress to the 💒 tho Rio: i know Rio: but how you gon' be maid of honour if you don't? 😘 Indie: ill tax that best man role from other mckenna if you keep playing 💪😎😎 Indie: & i aint callin you mckenna now thatd be a madness of getting you caught up w that boy in convos Rio: Fine we'll discuss this later Rio: 'cos ain't like it's happening now so you know Indie: locked you down w out locking in a date i get it Rio: Yeah Rio: what do you think then Rio: honest Indie: its sick news Indie: the boy be acting right & appreciating what he got 👑👑💖💖 Rio: i'm so glad you think so Rio: thanks, babe Rio: ain't gonna make a big song and dance and tell everyone but i ain't gonna hide it either Rio: know everyone gonna have an opinion, again Rio: just can't get enough, clearly 😂 Indie: feelin the love that you spoke it to me Indie: the only opinion that counts b that he aint finding no better hoe here, in the 24 or anywhere Indie: facts Rio: You gonna make me cry and they gonna throw me out this boujee ass store Indie: wipe dem tears on 💸💸💸 so they kno you can hang still Rio: 😂 Rio: already gonna be out here wearing someone's college tuition on my finger like Rio: see why people do this more than once, get a nice collection going Indie: mckenna gon 😭😭😭 boy is soft Indie: dont let him hear you chatting bout no round 2 Rio: 😏 Rio: poor baby, don't be mean Indie: catch me getting married never i gotta live this thru you amp bitches Rio: Fair, didn't ever expect I would Indie: gon kick it old school like your nan 👶👶👶👶👶 but no 💍 Rio: 😖 Glad you out here thinking so highly of me bitch 😜 Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Indie: is you got the fear tho for reals or nah? Rio: It's weird Rio: I know it's what I want like I didn't even think about saying nah but Rio: you have every other voice in your head saying it's too quick or we shouldn't even be together at all, you know Indie: i feel it Indie: i got em in mine tryna chat against everything i tryna do all the time Indie: gotta just chat back that they bein dry Rio: Yeah Rio: you right Indie: how we celebratin this?? thats what i wanna be knowing Rio: we should go out for dinner Indie: catch me thirdwheelin over 🍝 soz baby boy 💋 Rio: shh nah, it'll be good, there are some fancy places that do food you'll actually eat so we can live lavish Indie: tell him bring a friend if he rollin w any still 😂😂😏💘😏 Rio: Not tryna get you NONE at my engagement party tah Rio: get you fill o the food tho 😋 Indie: it aint gotta be heavy Indie: been long since anyone meshed me tho so help a hoe out Rio: hmm don't be tryna play addickted Rio: i'll get you a vibrator, like Rio: not to say go fuck yourself but Indie: 😂😂😂😂 when your ma been out for the day & brings home 🎁🎁s like Rio: pah, he'd actually die of embarrassment Indie: when you out your man as vanilla tho Indie: o mckenna Rio: I just don't reckon he wants to think 'bout you meshing Rio: no offence, like Indie: back trecking like its your job baby Indie: 👀 you & his ways Rio: 🙈 den gurl Indie: too late to swerve dat 🏩 Rio: 🙄 just be thankful i never brought it to ours when we was sharing Indie: safe Indie: I kno you in your ☁ rn but when you back cos shit b testing me & dat 2 drink minimum Rio: What's up? Indie: ex-boy got a new 💘 so he tryna pass my shit back but cos i aint there hes @ the squad & they vexed @ me cos of Indie: 💔💔💔💔💔 Rio: 😔 Rio: Are the lads gonna get it or nah Rio: Don't suppose it's worth seeing if Drew still wanna be Dad of the year one last time, like Rio: may as well use him if he's offering, yeah? Indie: things been heated since the 🐕 & what of mine they are holding so like no beef to the lads but idk Indie: am i tryna text him ever tho 😒😒😒 Rio: Yeah, we'll go 'round the houses when I'm back Rio: someone will go get it Rio: don't worry Rio: we won't be long now Indie: & like not tryna still have love for that boy but aint it mad quick miss me for a few after you dash me Rio: It is Rio: but I ain't surprised, it's how lads, esp lads like that, do Rio: doesn't mean it didn't mean nothing to him necessarily Rio: could still be crying 'bout it in your inbox in a few, not trying to give false hope even 'cos fuck him Indie: i dont wanna be hurtin over this no more Indie: gotta get not bothered Rio: I know Rio: fake it 'til you make it, babe Rio: all you can do Indie: innit tho Indie: tell mckenna to buy me bling too thatll help 😂😂😂😂 Rio: 😂 Rio: 'course Indie: not saying he gotta drop a rents worth on the drip like Indie: just how much he feelin Rio: also not tryna be your sisterwife like Indie: no mood Indie: he vanilla but i aint tryna compete w your moves still Rio: Teach you but I'd have to charge Indie: hes on daddy hype too hard i cant be chattin like that to him or no lad soz boy Rio: Don't really put you in any mood but 😒? Rio: Fair Indie: why drop 💸💸💸💸 on therapy when you can spend on 🚬 its all good Rio: It ain't Rio: but we'll make it Indie: you reckon drews gon show w 👶🎁🎁🎁 or imma be repin for the fam? Rio: I don't know if that'd even enter his head Rio: tbh Indie: she could ⛔ us all in a big sweep Indie: me you & him Rio: She could Rio: I don't think she will you though, babe Rio: not like you've done shit wrong Indie: she just aint about me Indie: i feel it w her too Indie: itll b how itll b Rio: yeah but she can't be that petty Rio: even if she wanna Rio: she's a grown ass woman Indie: neither of em out here acting like they grown Indie: why she gonna start when she have this kid Rio: 'cos she'll have to Rio: unlike Drew she can't just pass it around and hope everyone else does it for her Indie: yeah but she know your ma in law got her back & your real Rio: She can't let Bea raise her kid for her Rio: or Ma Rio: anyway, she's got too much pride in everything not related to Drew, trust Indie: tru Rio: I promise, it's gonna be fine Indie: i got trust in you babe thats how im here Rio: 💘💘💘 Indie: dont be letting it slip now you got 💍 Rio: Never Indie: its chill then Indie: what we tryna wear tonite bitch? Rio: got enough trust in me to lemme pick you up some fresh garms or? Indie: hmmm Indie: cos you in a ☁ yeah Indie: theres your engagement gift ✌ Indie: do it how you gonna Rio: 😂 you know I'm good Rio: and no 👗s Rio: not taking the piss Indie: 👀 Indie: no 🤡ing Rio: would I do a thing like that? Indie: nah but mckenna will if he gets pissy you aint shopping for him 😂😂😂 Rio: We already had to treat him 'cos you know Rio: men don't cuffed 'til the day of Indie: you rode him in there say no more 🤐🤐🍾🍾 Rio: 😂 Rio: Not what I meant even but not gonna lie Indie: 😏😏😏 Indie: i been knew Rio: Keeping it unpredictable is our predictable, babe Indie: you out there vibin 😍😍😍 its a day when you can be extra Indie: make most Rio: As if there's a day when I ain't 😉 Rio: At least my Ma can't say shit to me, she was a marriage and 2 kids deep by now with Eds on the way so Indie: his gon get vocal tho man i feel it Indie: 👀 his dad @ me like 😒 how she livin Rio: I know Rio: Hoping they don't notice, like lemme forget which finger this meant to go on Rio: 😬 Indie: she gon be busy @ the business end of her sis when we hit dubs you all good 😂😂😂😂 Indie: & you could always swerve it so the 💎 not facing out when they 👀 Indie: ✌ hacks Rio: am I tryna stop a muggin' or 😂 Rio: you jokes Rio: also never wanna think about her business end thanks 😷 Indie: innit her drum not got dem thin walls like ours 🙏🙏🙏 or they aint vocal how you and mckenna do Rio: Literally can't imagine how this baby came to be Rio: but I'm chill with that, I don't wanna Indie: used that medical shit fr he aint been near her thats how i clue it Rio: i'm creasing rn and can't even explain 'cos nah Indie: serious she that bitch you tryna lips her & she gotta go shower Rio: I know Rio: Childbirth gonna break her 'less she got that c-section on lock Indie: hit her w all the good gear 🚀🚀🚀🚀 Rio: Probably wanna do it without for the brag idk Indie: o snap Indie: truuuuuuuu Rio: She gotta be ready to drop any day, like Indie: 👀 &👂 Indie: we turnin up if she want us or nah Indie: how many mckennas 👶👶s you gon have? Rio: We'll be about, can't avoid School forever Rio: and shut up bitch 😂 Indie: cmon man i kno you 💭 on it Indie: he a pretty boy Rio: nah Rio: i got a life to live babe Indie: your ma been proved you can have it all bitch Indie: birth dem 👶👶s give em posh names & send em to fancy school like they da Rio: yeah n she given me enough sibs to never need my own Rio: not to mention all your drama 😜 Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: im a drama free zone now ty what you sayin Rio: whilst we in this postcode maybe Rio: but not for long babe Indie: nah for long imma be swervin that shit ✌✌ Indie: any postcode Rio: 👏 sounds good to me too Indie: got ink to jog me if i tryna slip Rio: yeah Rio: least you didn't get the M too Indie: like i been said id just put an a on it for that shoutout to my 3 mas baby 💖💖💖 all good Rio: there's always that Rio: if you really want you can add to it Rio: reclaim it, like Indie: hacks Indie: but i aint got no 💸💸💸💸 for Rio: I can pay Rio: or Ma would do it Indie: o yeah Indie: imma hit her up when we home Rio: Have you decided where you gonna be? Indie: mayb w bills cos she 😢💔 idk Rio: Yeah? Indie: if edie back then naaaaah Indie: or if drew been locked up can squat in the flat til it reclaimed Rio: We'll work something out Rio: I'll probably look for a new place Indie: you not gon move in mckennas dubs yard like you own that? Rio: Don't think the rest of 'em would appreciate that like 😏 Indie: other mckenna would rollin in that big drum solo gotta be dry Rio: Yeah still don't think I'm housemate choice no.1 Indie: thats her bad cos you 👑👑👑🔥🔥🔥👑👑👑 Rio: 💘💘💘 Rio: You biased Indie: nah i not Indie: im not here for drew just cos he blood Rio: Anyway, can't be presuming that's how he wanna be living, like Indie: is it? Rio: Yeah, he ain't coming here 'til October imagine if I'd legit moved myself in 😂 Indie: he put a 💍 on it how he not gon be down Rio: that's like rule no 1 init Rio: gotta make sure you've got your own taken care of in case everything goes tits Indie: safe Indie: 👑 moves be like Rio: If I really was probably shoulda said no shouldn't I Rio: kick it like his Ma Indie: if he wants a girl like his ma you need to have a convo Indie: that some freaky shit Rio: 😂 Rio: psych101 would blow your mind Indie: i aint even tyna kno what you mean Indie: old white dudes be cracked Rio: Yeah wouldn't have you buzzin' 'bout your daddy issues Indie: what they sayin bout? i wanna fuck drew now? plot twist fam Rio: you know Rio: we all do but clearly got it twisted 'cos my type ain't ever been my da Rio: no offence boy but Indie: your da be 😍😍😍 god bless Rio: have we swapped? 😂 Indie: he raised me higher than drew done so Indie: daddy caleb come thru Rio: 😷 Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Rio: Such a grown convo Indie: hoe im keepin you grounded Indie: livin that grown life 24 7 w mckenna Rio: tru Rio: it's a madness i should still be in school Rio: i feel so 👵 fr Indie: you is Rio: cheeky cow Rio: meant to hype me not wreck me 😂 Indie: he be too tho Indie: so tamed its a madness Indie: remember how he used roll Rio: well you know Rio: 😻 game so strong Indie: you no need my hype bitch Indie: you know what you done Rio: You reckon Indie: girl aint be gettin a callback you got 💍💎💎 & 💒 hype Indie: he kicked it long distance for you & he aint putting in effort no way fore then Rio: Yeah Rio: ignore me Rio: just the fear init Indie: get a new drink Indie: chase that Rio: 🍾 Indie: check your boy i bet he aint feelin no fear Rio: He wouldn't say if he was Indie: hed chat it to you Indie: that boy always talking Rio: 😂 thought you reckoned he was the strong silent type Indie: that was afore he was my new daddy Indie: now i 👀 Rio: 😏 Poor boy Rio: I'll keep it on the dl, protect his ego Indie: ill keep it uncommon knowledge to protect this roof over Rio: yeah, least wait 'til you safe in the 24 to be rude 😜 Indie: innit Rio: right, we heading back Indie: ✌✌ Indie: in a few Indie: less he wants you all to himself Rio: he already been had that Indie: he gave you 💎 you can give him a day 😂😂😂 Rio: is it? Rio: why you want air? 👀 Indie: jam ma im tryna do you & your mans a solid Indie: fore i 3rd wheel your nite like Indie: aint this bitch in your pocket & way when we rollin in the 24 Rio: hmm Rio: if you're sure Indie: trust Rio: then we'll be back with your garms and the reservation later then Indie: safe Indie: dont be doing anything i aint tryna Indie: 💖💖💖💖💖 Rio: 🧡🧡🧡

[bixshits]

Lost Odyssey - A Thousand Years of Dreams - Story Three Transcript

White Flowers

Lovely white flowers mask the town. They bloom on every street corner, not in beds or fields set aside for their cultivations, but blending naturally and in line with every row of houses, as though the buildings and the blossoms have grown up together.

The season is early spring and snow still lingers on the nearby mountains, but the stretch of ocean that gently laps the town's southern shore is bathed in refulgent sunlight.

This is an old and prosperous harbor town.

Even now, its piers see many cruise ships and freighters come and go.

Its history, however, is sharply divided between the time "before" and the time "after" an event that happened one day long ago.

People here prefer not to talk about it—the watershed engraved upon the town's chronology.

The memories are too sorrowful to make stories out of them.

Kaim knows this, and because he knows it, he has come here once again.

"Passing through?" the tavern master asks him.

At the sound of his voice, Kaim responds with a faint smile.

"You're here for the festival, I suppose. You should take your time and enjoy it."

The man is in high spirits. He has joined his customers in glass after glass until now and is quite red in the face, but no one shows any signs of blaming him for overindulging. Every seat in the tavern is filled and the air reverberates with laughter. Happy voices can be heard now and then as well from the road outside.

The entire town is celebrating. Once each year the festival has people making merry all night long until the sun comes up.

"I hope you've got a room for the night, Sir. Too late to find one now! Every inn is full to overflowing."

"So it seems."

"Not that anyone could be foolish enough to spend a night like this quietly tucked away under the covers in his room."

The tavern master winks at Kaim as if to say "Not you, Sir. I'm sure!"

"Tonight we're going to have the biggest, wildest party you've ever seen, and everybody's invited—locals or not. Drink, food, gambling, women: just let me know what you want. I'll make sure you have it."

Kaim sips his drink and says nothing.

Because he is planning to stay awake all night, he has not taken a room—though he has no plans to enjoy the festival, either.

Kaim will be offering up a prayer at the hour before dawn when the night is at its darkest and deepest. He will leave the town, sent off by the morning sun as it pokes its face up between the mountains and the sea, just as he did at the time of his last visit. Back then, the tavern master, who a few minutes ago was telling one of his regular customers that his first grandchild is about to be born, was himself just an infant.

"This one's on me, drink up!" says the tavern master, filling Kaim's shot glass.

He peers at Kaim suspiciously and says, "You did come for the festival, didn't you?"

"No, not really," says Kaim.

"Don't tell me you didn't know about it!

You mean you came here by pure chance?"

"Afraid so."

"Well, if you came here on business, forget it.

You'll never get serious talk out of anybody on a special night like this."

The tavern master goes on to explain what is so special about this night.

"You must've heard something about it. Once, a long time ago, this town was almost completely destroyed."

There are two great events that divide history into "before" and "after": one is the birth or death of some great personage—a hero or a savior.

The other is something like a war or plague or natural disaster.

What divided this town's history into "before" and "after" was a violent earthquake.

It happened without warning and gave the soundly sleeping people of the town no chance to flee.

A crack opened up in the earth with a roar, and roads and buildings just fell to pieces.

Fires started, and they spread in the twinkling of an eye.

Almost everyone was killed.

"You probably cant imagine it. All I know is what they taught me in school. And what does 'Resurrection Festival' mean to a kid! It was just something that happened 'once upon a time.' I live here and that's all it means to me, so a traveler like you probably can't even begin to imagine what it was like."

"Is that what they call this holiday? 'Resurrection Festival'?"

"Uh-huh. The town was resurrected from a total ruin to this.

That's what the celebration is all about."

Kaim gives the man a grim smile and sips his liquor.

"What's so funny?" the tavern master asks.

"Last time I was here, they were calling it 'Earthquake Memorial Day.'

It wasn't a festival for this kind of wild celebrating."

"What are you talking about?

It's been the 'Resurrection Festival' ever since I was a kid."

"That was before you were old enough to remember anything."

"Huh?"

"And before that, they called it 'Consolation of the Spirits.' They'd burn a candle for each person who died, and pray for them to rest in peace. It was a sad festival, lots of crying."

"You sound as if you saw it happening yourself."

"I did."

The tavern master laughs with a loud snort.

"You look sober, but you must be plastered out of your mind! Now listen, it's festival night, so I'm going to let you off the hook for pulling my leg, but don't try stuff like that in front of the other townspeople. All of our ancestors—mine included—are the ones who barely escaped with their lives."

Kaim knows full well what he is doing. He never expected the man to believe him.

He just wanted to find out himself whether the townspeople were still handing down the memories of the tragedy—whether, deep down behind their laughing faces, there still lingered the sorrow that had been passed down from their forefather's time.

Called away by one of his other customers, the tavern master leaves Kaim's side but not without first delivering a warning.

"Be careful what you say, Sir. That kind of nonsense can get you in trouble. Really. Think about it: the earthquake happened all of two hundred years ago!"

Kaim does not answer him.

Instead, he sips his liquor in silence.

Among the ones who died in the tragedy two hundred years ago were his wife and daughter.

Of all the dozens of wives and hundreds of children that Kaim has had in his eternal life, the wife and child he had here were especially unforgettable.

In those days, Kaim had a job at the harbor.

There were just the three of them—he, his wife, and their little girl.

They lived simply and happily.

The same kind of days that had preceded today would continue on into endless tomorrows. Everyone in the town believed that—including Kaim's wife and daughter, of course.

But Kaim knew differently. Precisely because his own life was long without end and he had consequently tasted the pain of countless partings, Kaim knew all too well that in the daily life of humans there was no "forever."

This life his family was leading would have to end sometime. It could not go on unchanged. This was by no means a cause for sorrow, however. Denied a grasp upon "forever," human beings knew how to love and cherish the here and now.

Kaim especially loved to show his daughter flowers—the more fragile and short-lived the better.

Flowers that bloomed with the morning sun and scattered before the sun went down. They were everywhere in this harbor town: lovely, white flowers that bloomed in early spring.

His daughter loved the flowers. She was a gentle child who would never break off blossoms that had struggled so bravely to bloom. Instead, she simply watched them for hours at a time.

That year, too...

"Look how big the buds are! They'll be blooming any time now!" she said happily when she found the white flowers on the road near the house.

"Tomorrow, maybe?" Kaim wondered aloud.

"Absolutely!" his wife chimed in merrily. "Get up early tomorrow morning and have a look!"

"Poor little flowers, though," said the daughter. "It's nice when they bloom, but then they wither right away."

"All the better" said Kaim's wife. "It's good luck if you get to see them blooming. It makes it more fun."

"It may be fun for us," answered the girl. "But think about the poor flowers. They work so hard to open up, and they wither that same day. It's sad..."

"Well, yes, I guess so..."

A momentary air of sadness flowed into the room, but Kaim quickly dispelled it with a laugh.

"Happiness is not the same thing as 'longevity'!" he proclaimed.

"What does that mean, Papa?"

"It may not bloom for long, but the flower's happy if it can open up the prettiest blossom and give off the sweetest perfume it knows how to make while it is blooming."

The girl seemed to be having trouble grasping this and simply nodded with a little sigh. She then broke into a smile and said, "It must be true if you say so, Papa!"

Your smile is more beautiful than any flower in full bloom.

He should have said it to her.

He later regretted that he had not.

The words he had uttered so carelessly, he came to realize, turned out to be something of a prophecy.

"Well now, young lady," he said. "If you're getting up early to see all the flowers tomorrow morning, you'd better go to bed right now."

"All right, Papa, if I really have to..."

"I'm going to bed now, too" said Kaim's wife.

"Okay, then. G'nite, Papa."

His wife said to Kaim, "Good night, dear. I really am going to bed now."

"Good night" Kaim replied, enjoying one last cup to ease the day's fatigue.

These turned out to be the last words the family shared.

A violent earthquake struck the town before dawn.

Kaim's house collapsed in a heap of rubble.

Kaim's two loved ones departed for that distant other world before they could awaken from their sleep and without ever having had a chance to say "Good morning" to him.

The morning sun rose on a town that had been destroyed in an instant.

Amid the rubble, the flowers were blooming—the white flowers that Kaim's daughter had wanted so badly to see.

Kaim thought to lay a flower in offering on his daughter's cold corpse, but he abandoned the idea.

He could not bring himself to pick a flower.

No one—no living being on the face of the earth, he realized—had the right to snatch the life of a flower that possessed that life for only one short day.

Kaim could never say to his daughter,

"You go first to heaven and wait for me: I'll be there before long."

Nor would he ever know the joy of reunion with his loved ones.

To live for a thousand years, meant bearing the pain of a thousand years of partings.

Kaim continued his long journey.

A dizzying numbers of years and months followed by: years and months during which numberless wars and natural calamities scourged the earth. People were born, and they died. They loved each other and were parted from the ones they loved. There were joys beyond measure, and sorrows just as measureless. People fought and argued without end, but they also loved and forgave each other endlessly. Thus was history built up as the tears of the past evolved gradually into prayers for the future.

Kaim continued his long journey.

After a while, he rarely thought about the wife and daughter with whom he had spent those few short days in the harbor town. But he never forgot them.

Kaim continued his long journey.

And in the course of his travels, he stopped by this harbor town again.

As the night deepened, the din of the crowds only increased, but now, as a hint of light comes into the eastern sky, without a signal from anyone, the noise gives way to silence.

Kaim has been standing in the town's central square. The revelers, too, have found their way here one at a time, until, almost before he knows it, the stone-paved plaza is filled with people.

Kaim feels a tap on the shoulder.

"I didn't expect to find you here!" says the tavern master.

When Kaim gives him a silent smile, the tavern master looks somewhat embarrassed and says, "There's something I forgot to tell you before..."

"Oh...?"

"Well, you know, the earthquake happened a long time ago. Before my father and mother's time, even before my grandparents' generation. It might sound funny for me to say this, but I can't imagine this town in ruins."

"I know what you mean."

"I do think, though, that there are probably things in this world that you can remember even if you haven't actually experienced them. Like the earthquake: I haven't forgotten it. And I'm not the only one. It may have happened two hundred years ago, but nobody in this town has ever forgotten it. We can't imagine it, but we can't forget it, either."

Just as Kaim nods again to signal his understanding of the tavern keeper's words, a somber melody echoes throughout the square. This is the hour when the earthquake destroyed the town.

All the people assembled here close their eyes, clasp their hands together, and offer up a prayer, the tavern master and Kaim among them.

To Kaim's closed eyes come the smiling faces of his dead wife and daughter. Why are they so beautiful and so sad, these faces that believe with all their hearts that tomorrow is sure to come?

The music ends.

The morning sun climbs above the horizon.

And everywhere throughout the town bloom countless white flowers.

In two hundred years, the white flowers have changed.

The scientists have hypothesized that "The earthquake may have changed the nature of the soil itself," but no one knows the cause for sure.

The lives of the flowers have lengthened.

Where before they would bloom and wither in the space of a single day, now they hold their blooms for three and four days at a time.

Moistened by the dew of night, bathed in the light of the sun, the white flowers strive to live their lives to the fullest, beautifying the town as if striving to live out the portion of life denied to those whose "tomorrows" were snatched away from them forever.