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lilacgaby · 2 months ago

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title: i've changed, won't you see?

pairing: prohero!katsuki x reader

summary: katsuki ruined your life when you were small, giving you a life altering injury, though getting nothing more than a pat on the back. throughout his successes he can't get you out of his mind, so he sets out to make amends with you.

tags: silent voice inspired!! childhood bully katsuki :(, disabled reader, mentions of violence, angst to fluff, su1cide attempt, comfort, implied nsfw, no proofread

(a/n: i wanted to give my hand at really long works while doing drabbles in between but i have so many drafts now jajsjsj)

wc: ~4k

your eyes were always blurry around him it seemed. your hands shaking as your voice cracked, just begging him. "please leave me alone!" with all the might a five year old could muster.

they scoffed at you, they always did. "crybaby. blame your parents for not giving you a quirk. you should've moved when i told you to anyways, it's my park dont you know?" katsuki mocked, moving closer to you, noticing the card behind your back.

"stop being so mean! quirkless people don't do anything wrong!"

"quirkless don't do anything."

your chest was heaving with pain, your little heart couldn't take it. "you-- you'll never be a hero, you're too mean!"

in an act of rage, he set off an explosion. it was only meant to intimidate you but..

once the smoke settled your screams of terror filled the playground.

blood dripped on the floor, pooling in your hand as your grasped your ear. a ringing was all you could hear, it was driving you crazy.

were you crying? you couldn't tell, you couldn't hear. your eyes were shut as you were filled with panic, the smell of iron flooding your senses.

but katsuki remembered so much more.

the smell of the burned cartilage of your ear, the sight of it, or rather the lack of. the blood that wouldn't stop coming, why wasn't it stopping?

his group that usually rallied behind him was now gone, leaving him and a wailing you alone. he tried to talk to you, but you weren't responding.

he grew the courage to touch you, tapping on your shoulder slowly, but that didn't comfort you. in fact he thought it made it worse, making you bow your head in a defensive position.

he stared at you, unable to move, he was supposed to be a hero like allmight, were you right?

finally, a teacher came running to get you, an ambulance already on the way. they didn't look at katsuki, only at the pitiful state you were in.

you didn't respond to them either.

katsuki felt sick as he stood where you and the teacher had left them. he felt sick as he looked down to the remains of what he'd done to you.

he couldn't process it yet, but he felt a sickening despair and guilt be placed upon his shoulders.

one that wouldn't disappear.

he wasn't blamed for anything, only getting a quirk consolation. they thought he lost control? his parents eyed him as he tried to explain what had truely happened, he didn't know why he was trying, did he want to get punished?

but even after, nothing was done. with a lecture and a couple promises he was sent back to class with nothing done to him.

your life was changed forever though, it was apparent in the way that you seemed even more quiet and closed off. you sat in the back, never spoke to anyone, and got teary eyed when he even stood close to you.

your hair covered your ears constantly, a hearing aid peeking through the strands occasionally. the teacher never forced you to participate, none of them ever made an effort.

the teacher had explained to the class how you were completely deaf in one ear, and extremely hard of hearing in the other. how you'd use sign language from now on, and that the class would learn some in support. they never did though, the conversation going ignored as soon as it was uttered.

you were pulled out of class often, the teacher having to tap you on the shoulder to get your attention. your eyes dejected and your presence small as the person who came to get you made gestures with their hands to you.

you'd been cruelly placed in matching classes 'til your last years of junior high. you'd stayed the same way for forever, it was like a weight placed over his chest.

yet he felt he deserved it. he knew he was messed up. he watched you, a lot. he saw you in the back corners, usually forgotten and ignored. when you were acknowledged you were mocked, people making random hand signs to make fun of the way he forced you to communicate, mocking your unconfident speech right after.

he saw the way you sunk into yourself afterwards, making his heart hurt as you grew impossibly smaller. your hands held your own as you prayed for it to be over.

everytime you'd catch him in the halls, you'd still freeze up. your breath shaky as you bowed and left quickly, making his friends laugh but make him queasy.

that interaction was witnessed by your teacher who, after a day of you not showing up, assigned him to give you your work for the day.

with sweaty palms and a racing heart, he dropped by your house. he knew where it was, of course he did, your mom and his were close industry friends even after the incident.

because you'd never told anyone about what he'd do to you.

he knocked on the door, attempting to seem nonchalant. when you answered though, he felt his heart lurch in his chest.

"[name], uh-- this is your work."

you didn't respond, you looked almost nauseous at the sight of him, it was deserved though.

he placed your work on the floor and walked off, that was the only time he'd spoken to you since the incident,

and he couldn't even apologize.

- - -

U-A wouldn't only be a dream for him, but a release for you both. was it selfish to want to run away from his problems? sure, but it'd help you too.

as everyone in the class exclaimed the names of the schools they picked, unsurprised at katsuki's choice, he pondered on where you'd go.

nobody asked you, so you didn't speak. staying quiet as you looked out the window.

katsuki got accepted into U-A easily, but he couldn't help but feel he lacked the main criteria. he'd hurt people poorly, and couldn't apologize because of his ego.

he felt sick to accept these accomplishments of his, knowing it'd be built up on the foundation of hurting you.

but he did anyway, selfishly. he kept up his harsh demeanor in U-A anyways, working hard and scoring high. he graduated top of his class, job offers to agencies left and right.

he accepted one, working for his old internship officially now. he climbed the ranks quickly, saving lives and catching the attention of the media.

a couple years later, he was a steady number five hero when he took a patrol route over for deku. as he strolled through the city, stores littering the buildings, he saw someone he never thought he'd see again.

you, only now working for your mothers seamstress company. you were embroidering something on the station, hands precise and focused, not noticing him.

he had to keep moving, but.. he made a mental note to come back later.

he finished his patrol anxious, he went to sleep thinking of what he'd even say to you. 'hey sorry for ruining your life, can you forgive me?' he slapped his forehead in frustration.

he searched up basic sign language for beginners, learning a bit. he laughed at the stupid thoughts of your forgiveness that he dreamt of.

"as if i deserve it." he muttered, looking deeply at the ceiling of his room before falling asleep.

as soon as he awoke, he got dressed and prepared. he tried to look causal, as if he wasn't planning this.

he walked in, immediately greeted by your mother who congratulated him on his heroics. "well isn't that dynamite? saving the world i see."

he laughed politely. "i'll be number one soon enough."

"of course! well, what're you looking for? i'll give you a family discount, you grew up so close to [name] didn't you?"

his heart jumped into his throat.

"uh.. we did."

"you two were so adorable! she was so nervous around you, she must've had a crush on you or something!"

"i definitely don't think so."

"oh, you're just being modest." she said, hitting his arm lightly. "there she is now, go and speak to her."

"uh-- i--"

"go!" she shoved him in your direction, making you look up to see him. your lips parted in an unrecognizable expression as you saw him, the line you were working on now crooked as you were left alone together.

it's been about ten years hadn't it? ten years since he last saw you, but a lifetime he needed to apologize for.

he'd learned so much in U-A, outwardly changing his demeanor to what he always aspired to be. but all that meant nothing to you, who only experienced him at his worst.

he awkwardly raised his hand up to you, he did his best to sign while speaking, his hands shaky and unconfident. "hi [name], i'm really sorry about what happened back then."

your eyes followed the movements, your hands absentmindedly wrapping around yourself loosely, defensively.

"i know this is a lot but,

can we be friends?"

he waited anxiously for you to answer, you looking as if you were processing it.

in a grown up, yet timid voice, one that he hadn't heard since you were young, you almost whispered, signing as you did so out of reflex. "thank you, bakugo." your eyes grew watery. great, he just couldn't seem to stop making you cry.

he sat near you after getting wordless permission to, hanging onto every word you spoke, and being mindful to speak in a calm tone himself.

"i.. i'd like a friend, honestly. a new one anyways."

he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when you said that, but still, it wasn't enough.

he wanted to, no needed to make you happy. the years of torment he subjected you to couldn't be made up by anything less than years of happiness.

after a bit of small talk, him asking you questions about what you'd been up to, how your life was treating you. he zoned out a couple times, thinking of how beautiful you've become.

"what would make you happy, [name]?" he finally said, his head supported on his hand as he gazed at you, making sure to enunciate his words so you could read his lips.

"what makes you ask?"

"i-- i want to make you happy. no matter the cost, it's what you deserve."

she laughed softly at that, her eyes flickering with an indistinguishable expression. "...i always wanted to travel. around the world, to see mountains and landscapes."

"then i'll take you."

"you don't have t--"

"i do. and ill do more [name], what i did to you was-- is horrible. you know that."

"i..

okay, okay bakugo."

"katsuki."

you smiled, "katsuki."

going from having very limited contact with your only friend from high school, to having a prohero come to your shop everyday was jarring. but not unwelcomed.

he brought gifts with him everytime, learning what you'd like and not. it ranged from food to stuffed animals, flowers to accessories, all of which you really appreciated.

you grew closer, eventually starting to meet outside of your mother's shop. at the park or walking around the mall, he'd take you anywhere you wanted to go. he'd pay for everything too, despite your reluctance.

he kept his word to you, and at the end of the month he asked you to come up to his apartment.

a penthouse.

as you walked in, greeted by the shimmering atmosphere of the expensive furniture and decor all around, abstract paintings and trophies littering shelves on the walls.

you stood by the front entrance, taking off your shoes as you walked in. "katsuki?" you asked, looking around.

he came out, a tiny smile on his face. "ya made it." he had something behind his back, "come in [name]."

the apartment was huge to say the least, it becoming even bigger than it looked from the entrance. he guided you to his plush couch, sitting next to you.

"so, i know you said you dreamt of traveling, right?"

at your nod, he pulled out the tickets from behind his back. "i.. got this tickets for you. i didn't want to push it in case you didn't want me to go with you but--"

you cut him off with a hug, tackling him into the couch.

"of course i want you to come,

katsuki."

you signed his name differently than other times,

you'd finally made a name for him.

he hugged back mindfully, so excited to finally have a huge first step in the right direction.

but he still needed to make you happy. "we'll leave in two days if that's okay, i just wanted to give you time to pack."

"okay, that's good."

"do you.. want to stay?" he asked nervously, the thought had popped into his mind and out his mouth in a millisecond.

you blinked, sitting up on his legs, pondering it over.

"sure, okay."

he put on some movies for the two of you, his heart was racing at the proximity of your body to his.

the night ended with you laid on top of him, fast asleep as he was comforted by the beating of your heart against his. your chest against his, his hand in your hair as your head laid in his neck.

he woke up first, to the sight of the gold light making you look heavenly, your hair messy from how he was playing with it throughout the night. your face was almost against his, he could kiss you right now.

but he shouldn't. he would move but he didn't want to couldn't, so he looked you over. you woke up to the feeling of his fingers caressing your face, your eyes half lidded from sleep.

"'suki. g'morning."

his heart was getting used to irregularly pounding around you at this point. "[name], uh-- hi."

after a couple moments, you got off of him, much to his discontent. his hands sliding down your legs as you got up.

"i'll be going now, i gotta pack and stuff." you said, looking in one of the many mirrors scattered around as you fixed your appearance as much as you could.

he nodded. "let me walk you home at least."

and he did walk you home, hand in hand.

those two nights he spent pondering over you. he didn't know why, but hero work felt much lighter after talking it out with you. becoming your friend was one of the best things he'd achieved in years, and that was including his recent rankings.

he thought back to how he treated you as a kid, had he really just been searching for your validation all along?

is that why it hurt when you told him he'd never amount to his dreams, because he only valued your opinion?

he let himself sleep, he'd see you tomorrow. and he'd make it all right.

he woke up and picked you up at your place, his expensive sports car standing out against the comfort of the neighborhood. you walked out, dressed simply but cute, a bag of your own in hand.

he grabbed it from you and placed it in the back, opening the passenger door for you as he drove to the airport. his hand on your thigh as he did so, letting you play the music you'd like with loud bass.

it was a half hour ride in comfortable silence, he gazed at you occasionally, a thoughtful expression on your face.

on the plane, you sat by the window. it was first class so you'd get to sleep in a physical bed, in a closed room. you were treated to whatever food and drinks you wanted, hugging katsuki when you found out you where you were heading.

the flight was a long eighteen hours, but it was spent hanging out with katsuki. on his lap asking him questions about the shows you two had watched, power scaling arguments about past heroes, fights he'd recently been in.

also what you two planned to do as you were there, you wanted to go to the beaches and mountains, he just wanted to follow you.

you fell asleep together again, your face laid directly in his chest as he held you.

you woke up to katsuki tapping you on the shoulder. as you raised the volume on your aids, you heard the beeping on the intercoms that meant you'd have to go back to your seats for the landing, groggily being helped up by katsuki as he moved you to to your seats.

you sat by the windows, looking at the tropical region as you two landed, your hand still in his. the moments after we're a blur, before you knew it you were in a car being buckled up by katsuki as you were being driven to your hotel.

what you didn't know was that it was a villa, built on top of the waters of the ocean, your very own private beach right outside your doors with the mountains you'd dreamt of treking right behind you.

you'd never been so happy.

the days you'd spent started and ended all the same, you waking up and going to sleep in katsuki's arms. pretending like you didn't notice how your bed hair got worsened after he played with it all night.

the first days you'd spent at the beach, attempting and failing at surfing. your jet lag was killed off by your utter excitement.

you being thankful your aids were water resistant because of how much you loved the waters of the river and the seas.

you'd had a sandcastle competition, sunbathed, and soaked off in the hot tub of your villa together.

the trek's were fun too, katsuki was annoyingly good at everything so you'd have to fight to keep up.

your polaroid in hand as you snapped candid shots of him, turning it to yourself as you got a selfie of you two with the gorgeous rivers as background.

you jumped into those too, making katsuki freak out as you dived in to the deep waters.

you even got to the top one day, jokingly saying that you should've brought a flag to the top to celebrate. the golden hours of the sunset making you glimmer.

a moment of silence passed over you as he slowly approached you, wordlessly asking for permission as you once again put your hands in his.

you leaned in first, kissing him with the sun as witness.

"i really like you [name]." he sighed and spoke after you pulled away.

"i like you too." you replied, hugging him tightly.

the rest of your trip was filled with your firsts with katsuki.

your first official date was in the burrows of the forest, a picnic where you two painted portraits of eachother. albeit, unique portraits... but painting nonetheless.

your first moment truly loving someone, the feeling you recognized as you laid him in your lap for the first time.

your first talk about what happened all those years ago. a deep one.

"[name], before we become something um.. official. we need to talk about how i hurt you." katsuki said one day, laying faced to you but taking your hands into his.

"kats--"

"let me speak. please." after you nodded, he took a breath and began.

"i was egotistical and really insecure all those years. you were the only one who really read me, that's why i think i got so upset.

i didn't mean to hurt you, i never wanted to hurt anyone i swear-- i just hated that you were right.

that weighed over me all these years, the fact that my hero work meant nothing if i was doing it while acting so.. unheroic.

i never fully felt like a hero, not until i met you again.

not until you graced me with your friendship, your undeserved affection towards me. i just-- i really care about you. and im really sorry, ill spend the rest of my life apologizing to you, and you don't have to accept it because i don't deserve it.

i guess what i'm trying to say is..

sorry, and.. i love you [name].

you don't have to--"

he was cut off by a kiss on his lips.

it felt different somehow, he couldn't place it. almost sad in a way as you pulled back.

"i don't think you were trying to hurt me. but, you did.

and you're working to change it, i appreciate that.

i really care for you too katsuki."

the rest of your trip was comfortingly domestic, learning things about each other you'd never know.

your last week was bittersweet, having to leave your jointed paradise was a reality that saddened the both of you. but your dream was fulfilled, and so was his.

seeing that he was the cause of your smiles and not your horror, making you happy was the light of his day. no, his life.

he thinks he was born to make you happy.

the flight back was a blur, you spent it clinging to him. you started to gift him your own things over the hours, a scrunchie of yours, a bracelet for him to keep.

a locket with a photo of you two, and the polaroid you'd taken on the mountains.

"why are you giving this all to me? not that i'm complaining."

"well, you'll get more use out of it. that's all."

he scrunched his face up in confusion, but with a smile you waved off his concerns.

he wished he pushed you more.

he wished that you'd forgive him for failing you once again, as he fought to take the razor blade out of your grip, slicing your hand in the process.

you were in your bathtub, surrounded by water yet fully clothed, tears and wails wracking your body as you just wanted it to be over.

you finally relented, your blood staining his clothes and the water as he picked you up. you couldn't hear him, you'd taken out your aid.

but you could feel his sobs, his tears hitting you as you shut your eyes, embarrassed of what you'd just done.

you were rushed to the hospital and given stitches, you were to be closely watched from your mom now on, you were told by an interpreter.

katsuki's eyes were red, matching his pupils as he looked at you.

he was frustrated, you could see it in the trembling of his fists and the scowl in his mouth. if he hadn't been there.. you would be dead.

why, he asked you. and to be honest, you really couldn't explain it yourself.

when you got home to your apartment, empty and reminding of your reality away from katsuki, you just felt so..

scared. what would happen when he finally got the validation he needed and left you? your whole life was quiet and tranquil, you'd gotten used to it. but he flipped it upside down again, showed you what your life really could be.

it was too much for you. you had to escape, so after sitting on it, tapping your leg anxiously as you pondered your decision, you went on your phone.

you went online and saw his life outside of you, how he had everything going for him yet what did you really have? a mom and a job at her company?

you grew impulsive, grabbing it absentmindedly and filling up the tub with the water you grown to love over the past month.

after you started bleeding, you panicked. what had you just done? but it was too late..

until he saved you from yourself.

you were zoning out. when you didn't answer him, he repeated himself, grabbing the interpreter so you could sign.

but still you said nothing, except a small sorry.

he left afterwards, leaving you alone in the bed to think.

you were back in your childhood room now, your mom having sobbed as she looked over your hands, as she asked you, "what the hell were you thinking?"

you looked at those glow in the dark stars and tried to find an answer, but there was none.

you held yourself to sleep for the first time in months, already missing him deeply.

little did you know, he was thinking about you too.

the next morning you awoke to a knock on your bedroom door. assuming it was your mom, you got up and opened it.

it was katsuki instead, holding a bouquet of flowers and the locket you'd given him.

"can i come in?"

you opened the door wider, leading him to sit on your bed.

"katsuki i--"

"[name]. i don't know why you did what you did.. but i know it probably has something to do with me. so what did i do wrong?" he looked defeated, as if he thought it was his fault you tried to end your life.

"no! no that wasn't it at all. well, it was about you but not like that.

it's just.. i've been alone. for so long? having you around felt.. too good to be true. i didn't want to go back to how i was before. in a way, you were too good for me."

"you're.. an idiot. but i guess i understand."

"i just.. i really love how you treat me. i didn't want it to go away."

a moment of silence passes, a small anxious laugh leaving katsuki's lips.

"fuck, i thought you hated me. could barely sleep without you."

he pulled you into him, staring deeply into your eyes as he pulled you impossibly closer. he kissed you deeply. his worries, passions, and frustrations all poured out into it.

he pulled away, eyes half lidded as he asked gruffly.

"wanna take this back to my place?"

he took your last first away, gentle and loving as he guided you through it. reassuring you that he'd never leave you.

you moved in with him soon after, finding it hard to sleep without eachother, no matter how late he got back to your shared home.

he'd be welcomed back by the sight of you, who always tried and failed to stay up waiting for him. he'd pick you up, like always, and hug you to sleep.

he'd know he woke you up by the feeling of your smile in his chest, the way you tightened you arms around him.

he loved spending every waking moment he could with you. you were right though, he did break up with you after he got your validation.

...

but that's just an odd way to say he proposed to you, vowing to spend the rest of his life making you happy and fufiling your wishes one by one.

he changed not only himself, but the way you see yourself. he changed your relationships with yourselves and eachother for the better,

and as you walked down the aisle, your wedding planned by your two designer parents, being lavish and gorgeous. the silk on the floor being runway to your expensive shoes specially designed for you, the guests in awe of how gorgeous you are.

you both knew, you'd better eachother for better or for worse, for as long as you'd be together.

he signed 'i do', sealing the rest of your lives together,

with a kiss.

#watched this the other day and cried again #lilac speaks꧂#bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugo #bakugo x y/n #bakugo katuski #bakugo x you #bakugo fluff #katsuki x you #bakugo drabble #mha x you #bakugo oneshot #katsuki x y/n #katsuki x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki

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chheolie · 5 months ago

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"help me forget him tonight, please."

minors do not interact! angst, fluff, smut, oral (m/f receiving), unprotected sex (dont do this), alchool, trash ex bf

as soon as you opened the door to your apartment, your friends' eyes filled with concern. "what happened, y/n?" they asked almost in unison, their voices loaded with anxiety. seokmin, who was distracted on his phone, immediately raised his head upon hearing seungkwan, chan, and jeonghan’s words.

"why are you crying, y/n?" he rushed forward, almost pushing the others out of the way. "why?" he insisted, holding your face gently, trying to make you look into his eyes. but you couldn't answer, just closed your eyes, allowing the tears to flow freely down your face.

"thanks for coming. i didn't want to drink alone," you said, your voice trembling and choked, as you made space for them to come in.

seokmin seemed restless, his concern evident. he desperately needed to know what had happened to put you in this state, but he didn't want to push too much.

"sit here, hyung," dino said, patting the spot on the couch. seokmin obeyed, sitting heavily, his gaze fixed on the floor while you took your first sip of beer for the night.

"he cheated on me," you suddenly blurted out, without preparing them.

"what?" seokmin practically shouted. "what did jiwoon do to you?"

"that's right, minnie. he cheated on me," you said with a sad smile. "i'm such an idiot for taking so long to find out."

"no, y/n," jeonghan quickly intervened. "you’re not to blame. don't talk about yourself like that."

seungkwan stared at the floor, his hand covering his mouth in shock. "i can't believe he was that kind of jerk to you," he murmured, disbelief evident in his voice.

lee chan swallowed hard, unable to imagine that something like this could happen tonight.

seokmin bit his nails, his legs shaking with anger and frustration. "i knew it! i knew that idiot was a fraud," he said, his voice choked with rage.

you looked at him, and it made your tears flow even more. what if you had listened to seokmin every time he said he didn't trust jiwoon?

"hyung, hyung, you're making things worse," dino warned him in a whisper.

frustrated, seokmin downed his beer in one go. "i need to get some air. i'll be back," he said, getting up and leaving the apartment hurriedly. he went into the emergency exit door, where he finally let it all out. he cried with rage, the confused and painful feelings overflowing.

seokmin had never approved of your relationship, but he resigned himself as long as you were happy – even if that happiness didn’t come from him. though he felt jiwoon wasn’t the right guy for you, he never imagined he’d be so cruel.

it took him several minutes to compose himself, drying his tears and checking his appearance on his phone's front camera.

when he returned, you, now calmer, quickly got up from the couch. "is everything okay?" you asked, the concern clear in your eyes.

he nodded with a shy smile. "sorry. i wasn't prepared to see you like this," he said in a low tone.

"thank you for always worrying about me," you said, touched by his sincerity.

seokmin joined you for the next rounds of drinks. the atmosphere was still heavy, but there was comfort in everyone's presence.

"i understand why you got so angry," jeonghan said to seokmin, once you were distracted listening to a story from seungkwan. "i know it’s hard to see her suffer because of another guy, but be patient," he said, patting seokmin's shoulder.

seokmin nodded, murmuring a thank you. "thanks, hyung." he knew he needed to be strong for you, even if it meant hiding his own feelings.

the boys bid you farewell with a hug, each leaving words of comfort and promises of support. when it was seokmin's turn, you noticed a sad and worried look in his eyes. "can you stay a bit longer?" you asked, your voice filled with hope.

your question surprised him, but he didn’t hesitate to respond. "i'll help the guys call a taxi and be right back, okay?" he said, giving you a gentle kiss on the forehead.

you nodded and walked them to the door, waving as they left. "thanks again for coming."

seokmin didn’t take long to return. when you heard the door unlocking, you went to meet him with a tight hug. your arms wrapped around his waist, and you rested your head on his chest, eyes closed, remaining there in silence. at that moment, he was your safe zone.

seokmin was surprised by your gesture. initially, he didn’t know where to put his hands, but soon he took a deep breath and hugged you tightly. "what can i do to never see you like this again, y/n?" he murmured, his voice choked with concern.

you lifted your head from his chest to look him in the eyes. "help me forget him tonight, please," you said, your eyes pleading for relief.

"what?" he was startled, his eyes widening in surprise. "do you mean what i think you mean?" he asked, his voice incredulous.

"yes," you answered seriously. "tomorrow, we don’t need to remember what happened."

seokmin’s heart raced. he felt a mixture of conflicting emotions: the temptation was there, as strong as the awareness that this could complicate things. he wanted so much to comfort you, to protect you, but at the same time, he knew that giving in to this temptation could make things even more complicated.

"y/n... what about me? how would i feel after this?" he asked, his voice trembling. "you know this isn't something i can just forget."

you felt the weight of his words. you were just seeking immediate relief from the unbearable pain you felt. "seokmin, i just need a night to forget all this. i need you now."

he closed his eyes, feeling the internal struggle. he wanted you, always had, but not the way you were proposing. he knew that if he gave in, it could ruin what you had.

"y/n, i want you more than you can imagine. but not like this," he said, his voice soft but firm.

you felt the depth of his feelings for you. the reality of the situation hit you, and you pulled back a bit from the hug, feeling guilt growing inside you. "i’m sorry, seokmin. i didn’t think it through. it was selfish of me to ask that," you said, your voice filled with regret.

seeing you pull away made seokmin forget all rationality. the need to comfort you and the desire he always felt for you took over. without thinking twice, he gently held your face with both hands, his thumbs caressing your damp cheeks.

he looked into your eyes for a moment, seeing the pain mixed with hope, and felt his heart tighten. without saying a word, he guided you gently to the wall, pressing his body against yours with a delicate yet firm touch.

then, he kissed you. a needy kiss, full of repressed emotions and desire. his lips met yours with urgency, exploring and seeking comfort. he could feel the tears still present on your face, but that only intensified the moment, making everything more real and raw.

you responded to the kiss with the same intensity, your hands sliding up his arms until they intertwined behind his neck. the kiss was a mix of desperation and passion, an attempt to erase the pain, even if just for a brief moment.

seokmin felt every beat of your heart, every breath you took between kisses. he wanted to protect you, to make you forget all the sadness, even if just for that night. your bodies molded to each other, seeking the solace and connection you both desperately needed.

finally, he pulled back a little, his lips still brushing against yours, and whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion. "y/n... i'm here. i’ll always be here for you."

you opened your eyes, finding his, full of silent promises and deep feelings. "thank you, seokmin," you murmured, feeling a little lighter, even if just momentarily.

he pulled you back for another kiss, gentler this time, but still full of emotion. in that moment, nothing else mattered but the two of you and the comfort you found in each other.

then, everything intensified again when you realized how much you needed him that night. your eyes locked with his, and you noticed his glasses, those damn glasses that you always said made him look even sexier. something inside you awakened with full force.

you pushed him gently, and seokmin looked at you worriedly, afraid he had done something wrong. but you just smiled at him as you guided him to the couch. he sat down, looking up at you, his eyes full of expectation and doubt.

you sat on his lap, your hands resting on his strong shoulders, while his hands found your waist, his fingers playing with the waistband of your shorts. the heat between you was palpable, an electric current passing from one to the other.

you kissed him again, and the only sound in the room was the sound of your tongues intertwining. this sound, mixed with seokmin's fingers gently squeezing you, only heightened the fervent desire inside you. damn, you wanted him so much in that moment.

seokmin held you and laid you down on the couch, his movements gentle yet filled with intensity. he removed his glasses, setting them aside, and positioned himself above you. as you felt his intimacy touching yours, a thrill of excitement coursed through your body, making your heart race even faster. you bit your lip involuntarily, feeling the desire grow.

your eyes met again, and in that instant, everything seemed to fall into place. emotions were running high, and both of you knew that this night would be different. seokmin leaned in for another deep kiss, while his hands explored your body with an almost desperate need. you ran your fingers through his hair, pulling gently.

you felt his breath on your neck as he trailed kisses down its length.

"thank you for being so amazing," you said to him, breathless. he needed to be sure he wasn't making a mistake, and you would reassure him as many times as necessary.

seokmin took your words as approval for what was to come next. his hands slid inside your shirt as he slowly removed it, planting wet kisses from your mouth down to the button of your shorts. you could see how much he desired you too.

with his hands poised to undo the button, he looked into your eyes for permission, and you smiled as you nodded.

he then removed your shorts – and your panties. he kissed the inside of your thighs, driving you crazy. in near desperation, you grabbed the couch to keep from letting out a loud moan.

you felt his warm tongue on you, and with your eyes closed, you bit your lip hard. seokmin spread your legs a bit more and positioned himself more comfortably. you were wet, and the sound of his tongue moving repetitively inside your vagina was driving you wild.

he spread you open a little more, and his tongue moved faster, causing a moan to escape your lips. in response, he bit the inside of your thigh. he was as crazy for you as you were for him.

"don't stop, seokmin, please," you begged. holding his head affectionately, you watched him brush his tongue against your clit. but you could barely control your body anymore, writhing on that couch. "i'm going to cum," you said, breathless amid your moans.

seokmin moaned too when he tasted your juice in his mouth. he knelt between your legs and took off his shirt. you quickly sat up and grabbed his hips, kissing his beautifully defined abs. it was the first time you had seen him shirtless. "you're so beautiful," he said as he fixed your messy hair. you looked at him, asking for the same permission he had sought.

he was hard, and it was entirely your fault. you were more than ready to take responsibility. you pulled down his black underwear, and his cock sprang out. you held it and slid your hand up and down slowly a few times. seokmin cupped your face with his right hand, caressed your cheek with his finger, and guided you to him. you obeyed eagerly.

you took him into your mouth, sucking and licking the tip of his member. "damn," he said, his voice hoarse. you moved your head back and forth just to tease him. "fuck, y/n," he groaned. your tongue circled the head of his penis, and you looked up to see his reaction. he watched you intently while moaning softly. you smiled mischievously with his penis in your mouth, determined to make him cum too.

you released him briefly to tie your hair into a bun and then took him in your mouth again. seokmin moaned loudly, and this time you showed no mercy.

with each movement of your mouth, he went deeper into you. you almost felt him in your throat when seokmin grabbed your hair bun tightly and began thrusting his penis into your mouth himself. you dug your nails into his thighs, tears welling up as you felt him in your throat. you were a mess, but none of it mattered since you could taste him in your mouth.

"i'm so close, y/n. you're so hot," he said with difficulty amidst moans. he thrusted so frantically that he unintentionally pushed deeper into your throat. you felt it, and a tear escaped. seokmin quickly pulled out and sat at your level to kiss you almost as an apology. he was so, so hot that you didn't mind.

as he kissed you passionately, he masturbated with the same rhythm. when you realized what he was doing with his hand, you pushed it away so you could take over. he moaned as he kissed you. and now that his hand was free, he slipped his fingers inside your vaginal lips. you were so turned on that it almost hurt.

you gyrated your hips, both of you moaning eagerly as you kissed. he finally came and moaned loudly. you felt the liquid drip onto your hand, and you couldn't be more thrilled with it.

seokmin laid you down, positioning himself above you. he kissed you more gently now, although both of you were still breathless. you barely remembered how you ended up there. he paused to study your face. you laughed, embarrassed, knowing you were a mess. but not to him. he looked at you with admiration and a smile on his face.

"seokmin," his eyes shifted to your mouth. your name had never sounded so sexy before, he thought. "i want you inside me," you said. he found it funny and laughed softly. never in his wildest dreams did he imagine you would ask for that.

he held his penis, rubbing it at the entrance of your vagina without penetrating. he needed to be ready to thrust again. "please," you begged, whining and grinding in rhythm with his rubbing.

finally, you felt him slide in erect. his fingers dug into your skin as he gradually increased the pace. the sound of your bodies colliding was so arousing. seokmin could only think about how much he loved you while hearing your moans for him. the sweat dripping from his abs was the vision of paradise you idealized at that moment.

his body was glued to yours. his moans were so frantic in your ear. he thrust so deeply, making you moan loudly. seokmin pulled out when he felt he couldn't hold back any longer. you reached your peak together, and the liquid gushed onto your stomach. you smiled, trying to catch your breath.

after the peak of pleasure, seokmin lay beside you. you rested on his chest, both of your breaths still heavy, mingling in the air of the room. he looked at you with a vulnerable and sincere expression, his eyes shining with a mix of emotions as he played with strands of your hair.

"i don't want to be just a temporary comfort for you. i want to be the person who stands by your side through the good and bad times, supporting and loving you as you deserve," he said tenderly.

you listened intently. it was new for you to know that seokmin had feelings for you. you were still unable to give him a concrete answer, but you were grateful for the affection and sincerity he had for you.

with a hopeful look, he concluded, "if you give me a chance, i promise i'll do everything to make you happy every day. i love you, y/n, more than you can imagine."

you nodded and gave him a long, soft kiss on his lips, nurturing hope in your heart as well.

#seventeen fanfic #seventeen imagines #seventeen x reader #svt #seventeen smut #dokyeom x reader #svt dk #dokyeom fluff #dokyeom smut #dokyeom svt #dokyeom scenarios #dokyeom seventeen #dk smut #dk x reader #dokyeom x you #dokyeom x y/n

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1800-lemonadeg1rl · 7 months ago

Text

Sleepless nights

Natasha Romanoff x reader

Minors dni!! Masterlist°•☆

Summary - you go on a routine mission which ends badly how will your girlfriend react

Warnings - gunshots, violence, bullet wounds, mention of stitches, likely medically incorrect, blood, hospital? Not proofread

word count - 1.5k

A/n - I dont know what happened while writing this its all a blackout. As always any feedback is rlly appreciated!!!

It was just supposed to be another simple routine mission. Over and done with in a matter of hours. But of course nothing was ever as easy as predicted.

It had all been going with relative ease until you and Clint were fighting off agents left and right. Something you were usually both good at. However where you'd found yourselves was very much enclosed meaning you couldn't run and you had no idea how many or where these agents were coming from. Your backs were against each other as you moved in circular motions around the room.

"You did this you know, everything was going just fine until you said 'wow this mission has been quite the breeze.'" You mimick Clints earlier words in a squeaky high pitched voice while taking out a couple agents. "Couldn't have just waited till we were on the quinjet could you?"

"Look I really thought it was over. At least I wasn't the one who knocked over the vase alerting everyone in the Tri-state area of our location." He pipes back as you both fall into the usual bickering banter you often did, squabbling like small children. You and Clint had always been close and worked well with each other despite the constant pecking at each other. You'd become even closer once you'd gotten together with his best friend Natasha. Well, after he stopped threatening you about breaking her heart that is.

"Okay well atleast I'm not stupid."

"Yeah real mature. What does that even mean?" He retorts back with a chuckle at how quickly you begin to lose an argument and just throw childish insults at him.

"I thought you'd be smart enough to understand a simple senten-.." You trail off as you see an agent aiming at Clint, one he hadn't noticed. Though you considered letting the agent hit him and getting to be considered the better fighter it wasn't worth letting your friend die just to one up him.

"Clint watch out." You yell frantically as you watch the agent take aim. Clint wasn't going to have time to move. You panicked and shoved him to the floor knocking him from the bullet.

You don't think much of it when you don't see the bullet land or even when you vision blurs. It's only you notice somethings up when you see a blood splattering on your hand. Instinctively you look for Clint worried something hit him but you find him staring right back at you. That's when you feel the searing pain from your hip. Placing a hand over it to find out what's wrong, you feel a cold and wet substance spilling from it.

Thats when everything starts spinning. Moving too quick but not fast enough at all. The pain feeling worse, like nothing you've ever felt before as the adrenaline wears off and the severity of the situation sets in.

"Y/n look at me." Clints voice is grounding and calm making you briefly feel better. "There's no agents left okay. We're going to walk together to the quinjet, don't rush yourself it's going to be okay." You nod along even though your unsure you'll be able to walk that far as your vision fades in and on like a flickering TV.

He moves over to you and presses your hand firmly over the wound. "Keep your hand there and apply as much pressure as you can." Despite the way you stumble around as you try to apply any pressure at all to the wound he still sounds calm like he believes you can do this.

His hand hooks around you helping hold you up as the two of you begin a slow walk back. Things aren't looking too bad at first I mean sure you can hardly see infront of you an everytime you open your mouth to speak the only thing that sounds is a groan of pain but your managing it, you feel yourself believe you'll be able to do this walk back.

That is all before you trip over a stone which sends you tumbling onto your front, directly where the bullet wound is is where you hit the hardest when you fall causing you to scream out in pain with a noise you never knew you'd make. Clint immediately tries to pull you back to your feet while telling you how close you are to getting home but it's no use as your body goes stiff, legs refusing to move.

"Natasha is gonna kill me." I mumble half heartedly as he holds me up and my vision fades for what I believe might be the final time.

"Not if she kills me first." He chuckles and that's the last thing you hear before everything goes black.

Two days. Two whole days they said you were out for. You missed two days. Two days where you didn't see Natasha but she saw you, she sat by you every minute she could and when she couldn't sit anymore she slept by you not leaving for a second. She wouldn't even leave your hospital room for food. Clint having to practically force food down her throat so she didn't end up in a hospital bed alongside you.

You blinked awake. You'd been awake about an hour prior but were too drugged up to process anything going on and had quickly fallen back into your slumber. This time you were much more determined to stay awake, that and your pain medication was wearing off and you could begin to feel a sharp pain replacing the previously dull one.

As you woke yourself up to the bright white fluorescent lights of the hospital, those lights which practically felt blinding. Giving you little time to adjust to being awake, Natasha started speaking.

"So what happened?" She sounded angry. A little rough maybe as the Russian tinged her accent slightly in a way you only heard few times. As you located where her voice had come from, a small chair just to the left of your bed. Now that you could see her she seemed more worn out or stressed out the angry. Dark circles lurked under her eyes as her forhead creased showing visible lines.

"Uh.. didn't uhm.. Clint... tell you." You slowly mumble out as you try to push myself into a sitting position but before you can Natasha is up and pushing you back down to lie down.

"The doctor said you can't sit up yet or you'll move the stitches. And no he hasn't explained anything, so you better." She lays your head back on the pillow with such a contrasting softness to the way she's speaking which is almost as if she's interrogating you.

You roll your head over the side to face her as you recount what you remember from the mission. "So basically me and Clint, well especially me are kicking ass knocking these agents to the ground. But then one aims at Clint and I push him out the way and now we're here." You explain the best you can but it's just so difficult when your heads all fuzzy and until five minutes ago you were convinced you were dead. "I thought I was gonna die 'Tasha."

"You shouldn't put yourself at risk like that baby." She says while brushing stray hairs away from your face and back behind your ears. "Things could have been a lot worse.." her voice trails off all usual roughness gone as she appears as if she may break down crying at any second. "I could have lost you."

That's all it takes for you to start crying as hot tears stream your face making it hard to see anything. Seeing your deteriorating emotional state Natasha makes the descion to crawl into the bed next to you. "Oh hush now, it's alright. I was just worried about you lyubov." she coos while leaning over to kiss your dampened cheek.

"I know I know.. I'm just really sorry... I dont ever want to lose you Natasha." Your tears keep falling despite her soft, reassuring words.

"Y/n, I don't want to lose you either. Which is why I think it could be time we retired before either of us do. Of course it's up to you though, I won't pressure you."

It takes you a minute to process her words but when you do your glad for them. You'd been considering at least cutting down your workload recently but hadn't considered Natasha would be open to retirement at such a young age. You can feel your face break out into a small smile as she suggests it herself. Her own face is one of nervous apprehension as she chews on her lip.

"Yes. Please I want nothing more than to retire and with you." You reach in to kiss her face eagerly. Your lips smothering hers in an almost desperate fashion as if you were worried it could be your last.

"If this is what retirement is like I cant wait." She whispers as she pulls away from your lips, nipping them gently first. She cups your face in her hands before leaning back in.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #natasha x reader #natasha x you #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x gender neutral reader #natasha x y/n #hurt/comfort natasha Romanoff #lemonade writes☆•#possibly terrible #im half asleep again

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gay-dorito-dust · 8 months ago

Note

remember when you did the HSR hurt/comfort reader getting injured? i absolutely NEED one with gallagher, gepard and a character of your choice. you dont have to do this right away! just been thinking about it ‼️

Blade:

Feral. Absolutely feral.

This man gets somehow even more deranged the moment you get injured.

He’s pretty much foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog the moment his eyes noticed that you were unresponsive. If anything seeing you borderline catatonic tore Blade apart in the most painful way possible, just as his desperation to get to you before anyone else could do further harm became his mission.

Bodies were going to pile up real fast as Blade practically glides across the battlefield with grace, precision and a determination to eliminate any and all that stood to stop him from getting to you.

The destruction Blade left behind in that moment was unlike anything anyone has ever seen and Blade became a lot more dangerous man than before, many have reasons to suspected that he might’ve been holding back, and it wasn’t until now did they truly believe that their theory had weight.

After getting you away from everything Blade stayed incredibly close as you got patched up, going so far as to growl and snap at anyone or anything that he believed posed a threat to you or wasn’t doing their job right; he’d even pull out his sword as an silent threat/warning as to what was to come should you get worse rather better.

‘Blade I’m fine.’ You tell him, trying to stop him from killing the poor doctor who had just stitched up the last of your wounds. ‘I’m going to be fine, just please for my sake don’t threaten people who are just doing their job.’

‘I don’t trust them.’ Was all he said while holding your hand, rubbing the back of it with his thumb.

‘The wounds were too deep Blade,’ you began, ‘trust them or don’t but that doesn’t change the fact that they saved me.’ Blade didn’t say anything after that but from the clenching of his jaw and the conflicting emotions flickering in eyes, it was clear that Blade was still very much conflicted about everything.

Needless to say that after you had properly healed from all your wounds, Blade became unbearably overprotective of you much to your dismay, but if it was going to silence his doubts for good then you were more then willing to leave him to his own devices.

Gallagher:

Is more concerned about your well-being and getting you the medical attention that you required than anything else. He could have the perpetrator sniffed out within minutes, but would rather spend those precious minutes making sure you were okay and that you were going to be okay by medical professionals.

He doesn’t care if he gets shit for not having his priorities straight by Sunday, the winged cunt could fuck off and die for all Gallagher cared, because at the end of the day he was always going to choose to take care of you over his job.

He’d naturally give the job of hunting down the perpetrator to someone else of equal rank while he decides to step away from everything to take care of you as the doctors instructed. For there was just no way in hell would Gallagher abandon you when you were bed bound, it just didn’t sit right with him.

‘You alright sweetheart?’ He’d ask as he helps you sit up in bed. ‘I’m okay Gallagher thank you for everything.’ You said, smiling up at him. ‘It’s not a problem.’ Gallagher replies as he sits on the edge of your bed, flashing you a smile. ‘As long as you’re okay, that’s all I care about.’ You furrowed your brows. ‘Won’t Sunday be on your case for slacking off on the job?’

‘Maybe but who cares when that winged rat has been slowly loosing control of everything for a while now.’ The brunette said as he then shrugged his shoulders. ‘But all I care about right is making sure that you’re happy, healthy but above all, safe.’

‘But I’m already those things regardless.’ You said, squeezing his hand as he chuckled, kissing the side of your head softly. ‘Then I’ll just have to keep up the good work then hmm?’ He says cheekily before winking and lifting himself off of the bed to fetch you food and medicine for your recovery.

Gepard:

Much like Gallagher, Gepard is more concerned either your well being more so then anything else because to Gepard, you and your safety were his number one top priory.

However after seeing you get injured, he feels as though he had failed you or wasn’t fast enough to get to you, and will let it eat away at him for a long time too before you have to step in and remind him why that was absolute bullshit.

Afterwards Gepard would treat you like porcelain or glass whether he was aware of it or not. You understood why but after a while when you began to get better you’d have to start telling him to cut it out.

You’d might to sit him down and gently tell him that he didn’t always have to treat you as though you were going to break after every minor inconvenience. Gepard would immediately go red in the face and apologise for over stepping, but you’d only smile and hold his burning face in your hands and pressing kisses into his skin, which would only make his face burn even redder then before.

He’s just a sweet soul who’d do anything to protect his loved ones and takes it rather personal when he couldn’t when he shouldn’t, but that’s just the way he was and you loved him for it very, very much and you remind him of that every single day. After all at the end of the day Gepard only wants you to be safe and heal at an acceptable rate, he would even go as far as to monitor everything closely so that there be no room for any possible health complications.

Seeing you injured had made Gepard more scared more than he’d like to admit, and he would do anything and everything in his power to prevent it from happening ever again, because for as long as Gepard was still breathing he’d dedicate himself to being your shield for the rest of your lives together.

And that’s a hundred present guaranteed.

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merlinmarvelandother-oneshots · 1 year ago

Note

Sorry, I meant to send an ask yesterday, but I got carried away 😅

So what about ut, us, uf and ht (you can ignore the last one if you want to don't worry) and how they would be with a reader that hides the fact that they're physically hurt.

Maybe they went hiking with the skellie, and they tripped and pretended that it was only a little scratch when days later they see quite a big wound that's infected.

It's a bit gross, so it's okay if you don't do it, don't worry :)

Have a good day/night and be safe

-💀

UnderTale, UnderSwap, UnderFell, and HorrorTale skellies react to a reader hiding that they're injured

you had gotten in a little tussle with a fallen branch walking home. you were completely oblivious, and tripped right over it. it hurt to walk on, and you soon noticed it swelling. it wasn't... sprained, right? nah, of course not! you brushed it off, thinking that it would be just fine in a day or two.

but until then, you might want to put some ice on that.

and so you did. for three days, with no sign of improvement. you tried keeping it a secret, but then your s/o came home while you were putting ice on it, right on the couch beside the door, and...

UnderTale:

Sans:

-he walks into the house, immediately heading for the couch.

-"hey, y/n, i'm ho- you alright? what happened to you?"

-"oh! sans, hi, i didn't expect you home so early!" you wave frantically to draw his eyes away from your ankle.

-"yeah... work was slow, so i came home. whats going on? you're acting weird."

-"pshh, don't be silly, nothing's wrong! absolutely nothing!"

-he sighs.

-"my whole shtick back in the underground was that i can see peoples stats. your HPs lowered, you're acting really awkward about your leg, and you're trying to hide an ice pack from me. i know, i saw it when i walked in. so, im gonna ask you again. whats going on?"

-you sighed. he caught you, he always did.

-"i dont know what's up. I tripped a few days ago and my ankle just started swelling. I'm gonna give it a few more days before I see a doctor, just to see if it heals on its own."

-"alright then," really? that's it? not going to insist you see someone? well, that's great for you! "I'm going to grillby's. wanna come?"

-you nodded your head.

-"cmon, let's take a shortcut."

-he took you to the fucking ER.

Papyrus:

-you look up after hearing the door open and you heard a crash.

-he had gone grocery shopping, apparently, because his bags were sprawled on either side of him on the floor.

-his jaw was only half hinged, that's how bad you scared him.

-as in it dropped. almost fully.

-he suddenly runs to your side (re-hinging his jaw on the way) and kneels by your side.

-"HUMAN, what ever is the matter? is it serious? does it hurt? will it need stitches? should i take you to-"

-"Paps! i'm okay. i think it's just sprained, i'll be alright," you tries to reassure him.

-"SPRAINED? oh, HEAVENS no, i must take you to the doctor right away!"

-you sigh. "Papyrus, it isn't that big of a deal. i'm sure it'll be alright in a few days."

-"absolutely not! what if it's worse than you think? it could kill you!"

-he really thought a sprained ankle could kill you? he may be clueless about human injuries, but at least he cares!

-you don't have too much time to reply before he picks you up, puts you in the car, buckles you up (because heaven forbid something ELSE happen to you, ESPECIALLY under his watch) and brings you to the ER.

UnderFell:

Sans:

-he literally did not notice.

-he grumbles a quiet, "hey," before trotting upstairs into his room.

-it isn't until several days later when the pain has worsened and you cannot walk on it that he asks what the fuck is going on.

-you explained that you had tripped a few days ago, and it got swollen, and you thought that it would just go away, but it's been getting worse and worse since it happened.

-"fuckin' idiot," he groaned. "i'm dating a goddamn moron! alright, get in the car. i'm takin' you to a hospital."

-he's groaning the entire way.

Papyrus:

-as soon as he lays eyes on you, he sighs.

-"what did you do this time?"

-what the hell did he mean, 'this time'? he CANNOT be holding you accountable for that one time you got a concussion! that was HIS fault!

-"hey! you BETTER not be talking about-"

-"about the concussion," he cut you off. "yes, yes, i'm aware, you believe that incident to be my doing. however, i can GUARANTEE that this is not! now, tell me what happened. i expect a full explanation."

-you rolled you eyes and told him, feeling a little pissed off about his crossed arms and tapping foot, although you couldn't fully blame him. the whole situation WAS a little silly, now that you have to say it out loud.

-he scoffed when you finished talking. such a silly thing! why the HELL didn't you immediately see a doctor? swelling is NEVER normal!

-how did he, a skeleton monster who had gone most of his life without so much as seeing a human, know more about human anatomy than a fully grown human adult?

-and how did he, an esteemed member of the royal guard, end up in a relationship with such a fool?

-"get yourself looking decent. we are visiting the hospital to get you proper treatment."

-'looking decent', you looked fi-! no, you didn't, nevermind.

UnderSwap:

Sans:

-"hey, y/n, Alphys let out training early, so i'm back! what are you doing?"

-you scrambled to hide the ice pack and hike your pants back over your ankle. "oh, uh. . . nothing," you said sheepishly in reply, a fake grin appearing on your face.

-"oohhhh, no no no. i know that look. you're hiding something. best be honest now."

-damn him! how DARE he know you so well!

-"i think i did something to my ankle," you muttered.

-"hmm. . . let me see."

-he walked over and inspected your ankle for a few moments.

-"it looks sprained. when did this start?"

-"a few days ago. i tripped and it started swelling."

-he gave your ankle ankther quick look.

-"and why didn't you tell me?"

-"well, i thought it would go away at first. i was going to tell you, if it didn't. i was just going to wait a few days."

-"well, there's no need! i'm taking you to a doctor."

-he helped you stand and let you use him as something like a crutch, so you wouldn't have to put too much weight on your injured foot.

Papyrus:

-you look up to see him standing, eyebrows furrowed (you know what i mean sans does it in the main game) looking at you.

-"anything you want to tell me?"

-"ah, nothing. . . i'm just gonna go to a doctor if this doesn't start getting better."

-you knew the look he was giving you. he wanted to know what happened.

-"i tripped a few days ago and my ankle started swelling. nothing major. it's just a little sore."

-"mmm. i'm sure. you have five minutes, then i'm taking you to a doctor," he said as he laid on the couch beside you.

-"no, Paps, there's really no need-" you were interupted by snoring. but you knew that didn't mean you were off the hook. he would be awake in five minutes EXACTLY, whether you were ready to go or not.

HorrorTale:

Sans:

-he kinda just stands there for a few moments after he sees you with the ice pack.

-ice pack means something's wrong, because he doesn't see food around, but his skull injury makes figuring anything else out difficult.

-ice pack. . . on your ankle. . .

-it doesn't matter what's wrong. he just knows something is. so, he comforts you! in the only way he knows how!

-which is a BONE-CRUSHING hug.

-and because you're sitting, and he's standing over you, leaning down to hug you, it's a very awkward angle. leading to a lot of bones jabbing into uncomfortable places.

-you know you can't really do anything to get him off of you, so you just wait it out.

-"i'm alright, Sans. it isn't anything major. i'm about to go to a doctor!"

-he was going to tell you to anyway. you just got that part out of the way.

-his time in the underground under Undyne's rule made him very paranoid about the health of those he loves, so no matter how big the injury, you MUST see a doctor.

-it's not up for debate.

-he drives you because he doesn't want you to have to put any more strain on your ankle.

-(should he even have a drivers license? questionable...)

Papyrus:

-he has a puzzled look on his face.

-that. . . he suspected that wasn't a good sign.

-"y/n. . . i don't suppose you want to tell me what is going on?"

-"oh," you nervously laughed. "no biggie. just tripped a few days ago, it kinds hurts. if it doesn't feel better tomorrow i'm seeing a doctor."

-"hmm. i shall hold you to that."

-you laughed. you bet he would.

-spoiler alert, he did.

(a/n: sorry if this is totally inaccurate to having a sprained ankle, it just seemed like a good scenario, and i was too in the writing groove ((once i actually started)) to do much research)

#undertale #underfell #underswap #horrortale #undertale au #undertale x reader #underfell x reader #underswap x reader #horrortale x reader #undertale sans x reader #underfell sans x reader #underswap sans x reader #horrortale sans x reader #undertale papyrus x reader #underfell papyrus x reader #underswap papyrus x reader #horrortale papyrus x reader

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tipsynight0 · 2 months ago

Text

Possessions kiss

Paring - jeff the killer x female reader

Trigger warnings - jealousy, possessiveness, toxic relationship, abuse, blood, broken bones, violence, threats, mature themes.

Synopsis - jeff had a shitty mission and takes it out on toby and (y/n)

Word count - 1.6k

A uthors note - I’m sorry but I like making this man angsty as hell, I dont condone this type of behaviour I just simply write it. It is creepypasta after all and Jeff is quite the character to begin with. Anyway, thank you for the crazy amount of love I’ve been receiving. I’m just doing this shit for pure therapeutic reasons and I’m glad so many of you are enjoying it <<3

Three agonizing days of trudging through the bitter cold, snow whipping against his face, and all for nothing. The target—Jeff’s kill—was already dead. Worse, the one who stole his thunder was Toby, the jittering, stuttering pain in his ass who always managed to get under his skin. Jeff’s fists clenched at the thought, knuckles whitening against the cold. The icy wind wasn’t the only thing making his blood run hot.

He slammed the mansion door behind him, the crack of wood against wood echoing through the empty halls. His boots were caked in snow and mud, leaving wet, dirty prints on the floor as he kicked them off carelessly. His jaw was set in a hard line, his breath coming out in heavy puffs, like a storm waiting to break. No one was around to witness the brooding fury that seemed to radiate off him in waves, but that didn’t calm the growing rage gnawing at his insides.

With heavy steps, he trudged up the stairs, the quiet of the mansion only amplifying his agitation. His body ached from the cold, the kind of bone-deep chill that even a steaming hot shower wouldn’t cure, but it wasn’t just the cold that was bothering him. Toby had taken what was rightfully his. And if that wasn’t bad enough, the house was too quiet—too still.

Where the hell was (Y/N)?

His mind reeled as he reached the bathroom, his jaw tightening as he entered. Immediately, the familiar scent of her perfume hit him. Sweet, delicate, floral. Completely at odds with the chaos inside him. It clung to everything she touched, an irritating reminder of how she had woven herself into his life.

Jeff’s lip curled in frustration. Her meticulously organized row of perfumes, skincare bottles, and other girly shit cluttered the counter. He reached out and, with a sweep of his hand, shoved her things aside, not caring where they fell. They tumbled over each other, bottles clinking as they scattered in disarray. A petty victory, but one that briefly sated the growing anger inside him.

But it wasn’t enough.

As he brushed his teeth, he leaned over the sink, his eyes narrowing at his reflection. Tired, bloodshot eyes stared back at him, but what irritated him more was how (Y/N) had her toothbrush placed so perfectly beside his. How her towels were neatly folded while his were haphazardly thrown around the room. He couldn’t stand the neatness, the way she tried to bring order to the chaos that was his life. So, after rinsing his mouth, he spat a thick wad of toothpaste directly into the sink, leaving it there like a challenge. She’d have no choice but to clean it up, and that small, spiteful act brought a ghost of a smile to his lips.

Still, something gnawed at him—a tension in the air that wouldn’t let up. As he pulled on a plain black T-shirt and flannel pants, the mansion’s silence felt oppressive, pressing down on him. Something was off. Where was she?

Jeff stepped out into the hallway, his heavy footsteps echoing against the wooden floors. As he moved toward the far end of the house, he noticed something—a muffled sound. Laughter. And not just any laughter—her laughter. It was light, familiar, and it made his gut twist in the worst way.

His steps faltered, his body going rigid as he approached Toby’s door. The closer he got, the more he could hear—(Y/N)’s soft laughter, followed by Toby’s stuttering voice.

Jeff’s grip tightened on the doorknob, a slow burn of anger building inside him, his breaths growing shallow as he peered through the crack in the door. The sight before him was enough to set his blood on fire.

There she was, sitting on the floor, laughing as she held a handful of Uno cards. Toby, his goddamn twitchy, annoying self, was sitting far too close, his body angled toward hers, that stupid grin on his face as he tapped her knee like it was the most natural thing in the world.

That single touch—the light brush of Toby’s hand against (Y/N)’s leg—was all it took. The rage inside Jeff erupted like a tidal wave.

Without thinking, Jeff slammed the door open, the force of it crashing against the wall with a deafening bang. The sudden intrusion sent (Y/N)’s cards scattering across the floor, her laughter immediately dying in her throat as her eyes shot up to meet his. Toby flinched, but before he could even react, Jeff was on him.

“You piece of shit,” Jeff growled, his voice low and dangerous, dripping with venom. In an instant, his hand was wrapped around Toby’s collar, yanking him off the floor with the strength of a man possessed. Toby’s back slammed against the wall, hard enough to rattle the pictures hanging beside him.

Toby’s eyes widened in panic, his stuttering breathing erratic as he raised his hands in a feeble attempt to pry Jeff’s iron grip off his throat. “J-J-Jeff, w-wait—”

But Jeff wasn’t listening. The rage had fully taken over. “First, you take my fucking kill,” he spat, his voice shaking with barely contained fury. He didn’t wait for an answer. His fist flew, connecting with Toby’s jaw in a brutal crunch. Blood immediately gushed from the impact, splattering across the floor and the wall.

“Then you touch my (Y/N)?” Jeff’s voice dropped to a lethal whisper as his fist struck again, this time smashing into Toby’s nose. Blood sprayed from the broken cartilage, Toby’s head snapping back with the force of the blow.

“Jeff! Stop!” (Y/N)’s voice cut through the tension, panicked and sharp as she rushed forward, grabbing his arm. But her grip was small, insignificant against the hurricane that was Jeff. His rage had him in a chokehold, refusing to let go.

Toby’s head lolled to the side, barely conscious, his twitching body sliding down the wall as he let out a pathetic laugh. Jeff’s breath was heavy, his chest rising and falling with each angry exhale, his fists still clenched and dripping with blood—Toby’s blood.

With one last shove, Jeff released Toby, letting him crumple to the ground in a pathetic heap. His body was twitching uncontrollably, a mess of blood, bruises, and broken bones, but Jeff didn’t even spare him another glance. His eyes were solely focused on (Y/N), the object of his rage and his obsession.

“Don’t you fucking speak,” Jeff growled, his voice so low it was almost a hiss. In an instant, his bloodied hand shot out, grabbing (Y/N) by the wrist and yanking her out of the room with brutal force. She stumbled, her feet dragging across the floor as she cast one last glance at Toby, who lay crumpled on the floor in his blood-soaked mess.

The hallway seemed to stretch out endlessly as Jeff dragged her toward their shared room, his grip tight and unyielding. He slammed the door behind them with enough force to make the walls shake.

(Y/N) stood there, arms crossed over her chest, her expression a mixture of fury and disbelief. “What the hell was that for, Jeff?” she demanded, her voice shaking with a combination of fear and anger.

Jeff didn’t answer right away. Instead, he stalked toward her like a predator cornering its prey, his dark eyes locked on hers, dangerous and filled with a possessive hunger. His breath was still labored, his damp hair clinging to his forehead, but his gaze never wavered.

Without warning, he grabbed her by the throat. His grip was firm, not quite enough to cut off her air supply, but tight enough to make her feel the threat in every breath. He leaned in close, his lips brushing the shell of her ear as he spoke in a low, deadly voice.

“Next time, I’ll break his hand,” Jeff hissed, his words sharp as a blade. “Do you think anyone gets to touch you but me?”

(Y/N)’s pulse raced under his grip, her breath catching in her throat as his possessive words sank in. She swallowed hard, her voice barely a whisper as she tried to respond. “You’re being—”

Before she could finish, Jeff’s grip tightened just enough to make her gasp. His smirk was dark and dangerous as he tilted her chin up, forcing her to meet his gaze head-on. “You’re lucky I don’t strangle you right now,” he whispered, his lips brushing against hers in a maddening tease. “You’re lucky I fucking love you.”

Then, in a move so sudden it made her head spin, Jeff’s lips crashed down on hers in a brutal kiss, all teeth and dominance. He bit down hard on her bottom lip, the metallic taste of blood filling both their mouths as she winced from the sharp pain. But before she could protest, his tongue swept over the bite, claiming her in the most possessive way possible.

His other hand gripped her waist, pulling her flush against him, his body a solid wall of heat and danger. There was no space between them, no room for protest. His kiss was savage, demanding, taking everything he wanted, leaving her breathless in his wake.

And for Jeff, that’s exactly how it should be.

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starreyblueberry · 2 months ago

Text

I always wonder how every fairy sees Timmy and his family. I mean, Timmy goes to fairy world every other day, he walks along the bakery and shops, and talks to fairies like their old friends. Sometimes he's out with Cupid, fixing whatever Love mishap seems to be roaming around. Sometimes he's with the toothfairy, as she squishes her cheeks but runs off to her next client. Sometimes he's even with Jorgen, its rare that a godchild is able to spend time with the head fairy, but somehow Timmy has many found memories of him, even if a lot of them are Jorgen yelling at Timmy. There are small TV clips of him playing on the air sometimes, as fairies gossip about him and his godfamily. If your a fairy, you've somehow been affected by Timmy Turner, for better or for worse. No ones really mad at him though, in fact once you meet him he's quite a sweet kid! "Oh he's not that bad- he just needs a push in the right direction!" "He saved fairy world like multiple times!" "Timmys a very bright kid" "Sure he's a handful but what kids arent?" You can hear chatter about him all across town, and whenever he was at Fairy world, it felt very normal. It was a custom almost, to just treat Timmy like anyone of them, but with a bit more care and love since he is 10 after all. What was bewildering at times though, besides the fact he's practically a resident, was his fairies. It wasn't hard to notice- especially if you've seen it first hand. His pink and green godparents seemed to dote on him like he was their own child! Many fairies have seen Wandas attentive eye on him, making sure he never gets hurt. Thereve been times where hell just carry Timmy around fairy world, especially if he's tired of walking. Its a care that, you don't really see from Godmothers. Most of them, while they do treat their child well, they don't take them to fairy world every other day, and talk to them on such a personal and deep level. Cosmo was a different story, his recklessness has put fairy world on the brink of destrction, its a wonder he's a godparent. Timmy doesn't seem to care though, whenever Timmy and Cosmo are together laughter can be heard, as if Cosmo would do anything to keep Timmy happy. Its a very sweet sentiment, and their closeness is one that hasn't been seen. Usually you could see the small fairy baby in Timmys arms as well, calling out for Timmys name the moment he wakes up from a nap. Its a very endearing sight, they even call each other brothers! Loving a human as a fairy is very, very unheard of. Whether it be romantic or familiar, or even in a friendship, Love with a human is terrifying, due to their mortal lives, and the rules that are set in place. Humans can almost never know about fairies in the first place, only children. Even then they are doomed to forget, so attachment is seemed as unnecessary pain and agony. Its knocked into every fairies head again, and again, and again.... but when Timmy apphered, with stars and wishes in his eyes, anyone can tell just how much Cosmo and Wanda loved him. How Timmy would always say I love you to both of them, how he's called Cosmo and Wanda his best friend, hell a few faires have sworn he's heard Timmy slip up and call Cosmo and Wanda Mom/dad one time. This type of bond is unknown, even the fairy council were perplexed when seeing how close they all were to each other.

Fairies dont seem to care though eventully, especially as Timmy comes over to their world more and more. Why keep him miserable when he's obviously so happy to be here? Thats why so many fairies have that little acklowdgement of his actual family, that he's basically been adopted as a fairy, and while everyone dreads the day he turns 18, whats a few more years of just making this kid happy.

#fairly oddparents #fop #timmy turner #fairly odd parents #cosmo #wanda #peri fairly oddparents

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icallhimjoey · 2 months ago

Note

Can you do a small itty bitty fic where reader ate too much dairy even though she’s lactose intolerant (she will always eat dairy because cheese is life) and now has a tummy ache and Joe takes care of her?

- your fan who ate too much dairy and has a tummy ache and needs a cuddle

quick lil short one just so i dont forget how to write! Wordcount: 1.4K

---

Was It Worth It?

You're on the sofa, sat up right because laying down makes you feel worse. The cruel reminder that your body actually doesn’t agree with ice cream all that much rumbles in your stomach. You’re cramping, uncomfortable and in pain.

Sneaking out of bed in the middle of the night isn’t your favourite thing to do, but squirming and groaning until you wake up Joe is definitely the less favourable option.

Not that he’d be unkind about it.

But you know he’d say shit like, “Was it at least worth it?”, which is the wrong question you ask when your stomach’s on fire, and, “If you know you can’t eat something, why would you have it?” which, true, but like, you don’t need to be told in the moment, you know?

Sat on the sofa, covered up by a throw, you lean your side against the backrest, lower back supported by the armrest. You’ve purposefully left your phone in the bedroom – if you’d start doomscrolling now, it was a guaranteed night of no sleep. Like this, maybe you can sneak a few awkward uncomfortable hours in.

And you nearly do.

You’ve nearly drifted off, mind so far away from where you were currently sat, but suddenly right back in your living room because a few hours ago you decided that actually, it was fine to have a little ice cream.

With a huge sigh and a muffled groan, you decide to head for the toilet again. Just in case. Your legs feel heavy, and you can’t stand up totally straight for fear of stretching your abdomen, tempting more lethal cramping.

The visit to the bathroom is useless.

You’re just in pain.

Nothing’s actually moving along.

You try to hold onto the upside that this means you don’t have to flush the toilet, which means there’s less of a chance of you waking up Joe. Optimism. You’re less enthusiastic about the realisation of how clammy you feel, something you hadn’t yet noticed sat still on the sofa, but that’s okay. Underneath the blanket it’s toasty enough to ignore it.

Just after you’ve gotten somewhat comfortable again on the sofa, you can hear noise coming from the bedroom.

Sorry, you think.

Your immediate next thought is that it’s fine; Joe’ll turn over and go back to sleep, especially when the flat goes quiet again for a few minutes.

But then, after a short moment, you can hear the sound of bare feet padding down the hall, and with a soft click, the door to the living area slowly opens.

Joe’s head peeps around the corner.

For a slow second you just look at each other; Joe with squinty eyes, head tipped back a little so he doesn’t have to open them as much, and you with the heaviest lids that are a real struggle to keep open.

“All right.” Joe croaks all groggy, taking a deep breath and running a hand over his face as he opens the door more and steps into the room. He walks like his hips need a good stretch, and his hair is all pushed to one side from how he’s been laying on it.

“That’s it.” his voice cracks on the second word and he stops in front of you, face in a deep frown like he’s annoyed to find you here.

For a moment you think he’s going to join you on the sofa; it’s not out of character behaviour for him to do so. But instead, Joe leans down to pull your blanket away where he grabs hold of both of your wrists, his arms working to get both of them into one palm, avoiding eye-contact completely.

“You’re under arrest, young lady.”

You let out a tired groan – you’re not awake enough to fight against Joe’s humorous manoeuvring, limbs too heavy, and you let your head fall back as he tries to pull you up more.

“Unacceptable,” He mutters softly. “I do not need to be waking up in the middle of the night in an empty bed when I’ve got you over.”

“I didn’t want to wake you–”

“Ah, ah! Careful. Everything you say can and will be used against you.”

Joe pulls you up onto your feet where you quickly fold over, eyes squeezed shut tightly as you twist your hands in Joe’s to grab onto him.

“Oh,” Joe reads the pain on your face and softens his voice as he drops his stupid bit. “You okay?”

“It’s–” your constricted voice cuts off as you breathe through the sharp pain. “Dessert.”

One of Joe’s hands quickly finds your tensed stomach, and you can’t help the slight flinch.

“That why you’re not in bed?”

Your stomach’s hard as a rock as Joe softly rubs it with a warm palm. It doesn’t do anything for the hurt inside, but it’s a sweet calming gesture none the less. Joe feels partly responsible; the ice cream was found in his freezer. The kind he knew would tempt you into a little taste, and then the first small bite inevitably turned into finishing off the whole tub together.

He should’ve known better.

“Sorry,” you croak, breathing a sigh of relief when the cramp ebbs away, “I know escaping is against the law.” You manage a small smile.

“No, don’t be sorry.” You get a kiss pressed to your temple. “Come back to bed, I’ll rub your tummy ‘til you fall asleep.”

“Feels better if I sit up,” you tilt your head slightly, eyebrows knitted, apologetic that you’re not coming back to bed.

Joe just frowns at you, and then uses the softest babiest voice he can manage when he says, “That won’t hold up in court. You can sit in bed.”

You know you can, but you don’t want to keep Joe up, so you hesitate to answer.

Joe scans your features, then raises his brows and jokes, “You better lawyer up.”

“I’m no fun to sleep next to right now, I’m afraid.”

“Hmm,” Joe hums, not happy with this conclusion. He didn’t get out of bed by himself only to be told to go back by himself. “Judge says you’re wrong. Judge says it’s actually impossible to sleep without you in there.”

“Joe, you have–” you’re cut off by your own body, stomach twisting viciously. Your hands quickly find both Joe’s arms to hold onto, and your fingers dig into him as you squeeze your eyes closed once more.

For a moment, Joe holds you like you’re made of glass, scared of hurting you more. It’s all fun and games to joke about you being in trouble for sneaking out of bed, but if you’re in this much pain, he’d rather stay awake and help try alleviate it as best he can.

When you open your eyes, you feel how your lashes are sticky. Wet.

“Hey. Come on. Bed. We’ll sit up, and I’ll help.”

“It’s only cramps...” you try to argue, but your voice sounds so tight, you know it’s futile.

“You can appeal in four to five business days.” Joe says, turning you by your shoulders. “Can you walk? Or do I carry you?”

Defenseless and exhausted, you decide to give in.

“I can walk.”

Joe guides you back into his bedroom. Props the pillows up and helps you into bed like you’re gravely injured.

“Wait,” he whispers before you can get comfortable and quickly gets into bed on his side where he sits up against the headboard and holds an arm up so you can sink into his side.

With an arm around your shoulders, his other first sorts the duvet out and then comes to rest on your stomach.

“What do you need? Pressure?”

“Yea. Pressure’s nice.”

And being honest, sitting up in bed is nice. Nicer than the sofa, anyway. The bed has Joe in. The bed has warmth and snuggles and tummy rubs.

“All right. See if you can get some sleep, okay?” You get a kiss pressed to the side of your forehead, and you let a content sigh escape you.

“Sorry.” you apologise again into the dark, eyes already closed. “I’ll never have ice cream again.”

Your tired words get more kisses in return.

“Was it at least worth it?” Joe whispers, predictable as ever.

And the ice cream had been lovely. Polishing off the carton had been so satisfying, but you could still feel your stomach churn, your insides still on fire.

“Hmm,” you pretend to think it over for a second.

“Jury’s still out.”

---

The Taglisted

@alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson, @cowboymcflurry

@demonsanddemogorgons, @djoseph-quinn, @dolcevitalifestyle, @eddies-puppet, @emma-munson

@emotionaldreamer, @everythinghasafacee, @ferfan14, @figmentofquinn, @ghost-proofbaby

@gri959, @hanahkatexo, @hazelenys, @jewellethief, @joesquinns

@keikoraven, @kennedy-brooke, @lovelyblueness, @loves0phelia, @mandyjo8719

@mexicanfolklore, @munsonluvrr, @munson-mjstan, @munsonssweets, @nadixq

@niallersfreckles, @notverywise, @pepperstories, @phyllosilicate-s, @prettiestboyreid

@readergf, @royale1803, @skulliecadaver-blog, @sherrylyn0628, @shizlac

@solzi1420, @songforeddiemunson, @sweetberry47, @take-everything-you-can, @thebellenouvelle

@tlclick73, @werepartnersnow, @witchwolflea, @yunirgo

add yourself

#joe quinn #joseph quinn #joe quinn x reader #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn fanfic #joe quinn fanfic #joe quinn x you #joseph quinn x you #joe quinn fanfiction #joseph quinn fanfiction #joe quinn x Y/N #joseph quinn x Y/N #icallhimjoey #rpf #was it worth it

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bestlilithian · 5 months ago

Text

Home is the first grave.

[ Moon-Pluto, Pluto in 4th house culture ]

tw for various mentions of abuse and death as well as mental problems, sh and su!cide, also needles (dont ask)

- may have experienced a lot of death in thr family or in the close neighborhood

- feel more connected to your dead relatives than your alive ones

- there mightve been a death in your family before you were born

- feeling peacful in graveyards

- may have fantasized about death/su!cide, might percieve death as something that brings peace (hence the fantasies, because really all you ever wanted was peace)

- wanting peace but knowing you cannot have it because of your nature; feeling like theres just something in your blood in your soul that is uncontrollable and overwhelming

- your household was always a house , never a home

- being raised by very old people, enjoying the presence of much older wiser people (like, literal elders not hot teachers 💀)

- enduring literal psychological warfare in your home (usual your mother waged war on you as soon as you were old enough to form a coherent critical thought)

- "I hate you, dont leave me" (might be the attitude of your mother towards you, or yours towards others you love)

- Your mother always knew when you were lying or hiding something. Especially if she had a scorpio moon or moon/pluto aspects herself. You grew up extremely fearful of her.

- moon pluto culture is hearing your mother talk lovingly about her own fucked up mother, she never accepted the severity of her own abuse, until of course she needs to use it in an argument against you "Im a great mother, my mother was so much worse"(basically Im good because I abuse you differently than I was abused 😍 same shit different package)

- not liking motherly women or women who try to be mother figures to you, feeling uncomofortable around them; youre uncomfortable with how much you crave motherly love and people who can provide you that become threats because of the power they could have over you if you opened up

- being betrayed by the women in your life, especially those who were much older and supposed to take care of you (teachers, tutors, family members, therapists, babysitters..)

- toxic female friends 😁🔫 bonus : really close but toxic female friendships in youth that feel like death when you end them even though you know it was necessary

- feeling pain so deeply you think you will drop dead or have a heart attack. (When I was little and depressed I wrote in a diary of mine "My body will kill me before I get to")

more on this : when you start crying because of immense emotional pain and suddenly your heart is burning and beating too fast and youre getting light headed and throwing up , and suddenly youre not crying because of the pain, youre crying because youre afraid youre about to have a heart attack and die

- fearing that your mother will k word herself or you if you try to leave her (harsh aspects mostly)

- learning what emotional violence is very early, how to wield it and defend against it

- turning your emotions off completely for a while and then having a nervous breakdown when it all rushes back

- reading up on psychology, psychiatry and works of psychotherapists so you can heal and never become your mother

- wanting to put a bullet in your head when you notice yourself thinking or behaving like your mother

- going home after you spent time somewhere where you felt good and safe is extremely dreadful

- your mother doesnt see you as a human being (harsh aspects especially), and may take you a while to figure this out

- extremely controlling behavior from your mother or other caretakers (for example my mother threatened to send people to stalk me when I moved to a diff city, to 'make sure Im not doing something bad')

- deeply grieving the loss of your childhood and your inner child

- almost choking while crying or passing out

- feeling like youre a horrible person and dont deserve your family [because youre in deep denial and are seeing the flaws of your family as your own and denying your own trauma]

- learning about sex early on, perhaps early sexual obsession but not like promiscuity more like craving for deep intimacy (also you were probably deeply ashamed of it)

- not telling your family (esp mother) anything because they will ruin it for you

- being accused of being a psychopath, uncaring, selfish for "not loving your family enough"

- not knowing how to feel about the members of your family that played a more passive role in your life because they didnt do anything wrong but they didnt do anything right either; surely they knew , why didnt they stop it? why didnt they save you? (Im talking about adults obviously)

- your parents mightve been much older when you were born, you might have siblings much older than you

- doing anything to avoid your intense emotions and then when you break down and feel everything you realize how freeing it is and how comfortable you actually are with the intensity

- gutteral reactions to songs you deeply relate to (I hear 10 seconds of 'Slipping through my fingers' and I am dead on the floor)

- being afraid of your mother or just of your family in general

- you could probably kill someone with your bare hands if you were angry and hurt enough

- scary as fuck when you actually show your anger

- if you cry in the midst of a fight (verbal or physical) ... someone tell that person to make peace w God . cause thats you crying because of what youre about to do, because thats you loosing the last crumb of humanity you had for them and that can only end one way.

- you would probably kill for your loved ones

- your friends feel like you would help them hide a body (and you probably would)

- recognizing people by footsteps and breathing patterns (especially family members)

- deep deep eyes, people can see war and death them, and they feel like you see their pain too (because you do)

- reading people easily

- enjoying? cruelty (to yourself or others), like getting impulses to do something that would cause you or someone else that ugly feeling of facing cruelty

- finding comfort in the cold and the dark

- insane nightmares since youth, growing to be used to them

- its very hard to shock you

- you know when someones lying

- you might dread certain types of pain yet feel pleasure from them (personally I hate having my blood taken for a test but then I end up immensely enjoying the feeling of a needle pricking my skin and going deep into my vein)

- feeling the need to "kill" some your habits; most likely to drop things cold turkey and be extremely strict in breaking bad habits

- might enjoy really dark, emotionally and morally complex media

- immediately recognizing other moon pluto people and trauma bonding

- extremely good pain endurance. not necessarily tolerance , but endurance. you feel the pain and do it anyway.

- might not react to physical pain at all from a young age

- fantasies about drowning or slipping away peacfully

- either loving deep waters or hating them

- randomly breaking down in the middle of the day because of some pain you buried 5 years ago

- might self harm a lot because of your complex relationship w pain, it genuinely helps sometimes

- home feels like literal prison

- seeing the value in suffering, you might reject the idea that suffering is bad and should be avoided and prevented at all costs

- you might become religious as you mature (but usually in your own way, not necessarily according to tradition)

- forced to eat or denied food in your home, this mightve fucked up your relationship with food

And lastly, I need you to engrave this in yourself :

Wrong love is not love.

#plutonian #pluto placements #moon square pluto #moon opposite pluto #moon conjunct pluto #moon trine pluto #moon sextile pluto #astro placements #horoscope #astrology #trauma #dysfunctional family #moon #moon placements #mommy issues #abuse awareness

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the-s1lly-corner · 4 months ago

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Hello, if it's alright, could I request a Toby, Slenderman, EJ, and Jane the Killer x reader (separately) in which the reader (in most cases) doesn't know that they're injured until they look down at the injury? Not exactly to the extent of cipa, but more like they don't feel the pain or even notice it until they look down and see the injury.

If not that's ok too. Either way, have a good day!

Various crps x injured!reader who doesnt realize theyre injured

idk if theres a term for it but this happens to me sometimes </3 the amount of times id randomly find bruises or cuts and start feeling the pain as soon as a acknowledge the injury hisshiss characters: ticci toby, slenderman, jane the killer, eyeless jack notes: reader is gn cws: mentions of injuries

SLENDERMAN

he almost has a sixth sense when it comes to you, so its likely that he knows youre hurt before you do... though to be fair, with how long it takes you to notice that isnt... very impressive/lh

he does not wait for you to actually notice the damage, he goes into caregiver mode- taking you to clean the wound if its open and wrapping it if needed

does not have any answers for why you dont notice the pain at first but thats mostly because hes not skilled or educated in that sort of thing- you can only learn so much by observing others from far away and living in the woods

TICCI TOBY

you both passively lean into one another to keep track of the others wounds; you dont notice yours for a while, and neither does toby- though your scenarios arent exactly the same, you help each other take care of any nasty wounds that could get nastier if left untreated

in a way he finds himself relating to you on some level, because even temporarily you dont feel pain- you both may end up talking about your experiences

that being said, the two of you may not take cuts and bruises as seriously as you should because "well i can still function/i didnt notice the pain before- so its fine!" mentality, its... not the best way to go about things...

EYELESS JACK

headcanon that he was into medical stuff before getting all goopy and cannibalistic, so even if he doesnt immediately know whats going on he can cook up some theories-

that being said hes going to get onto you for leaving wounds uncleaned and uncovered, and will make it a habit to check over you every now and then to make sure youre not hurt... looks in places that are hard to look (back, neck, stuff like that)

always keeps a pack of Band-Aids/bandages on him at all times for general use, keeps other stuff at his place for worse injuries- disinfectants and needles to stich things up- hopefully it wont ever have to come to that, though

JANE THE KILLER

if youre the type to joke about your wounds to make the atmosphere lighter, its not going to work on jane... not because shes worried (okay... she is....) but because shes just.. not amused by that sort of humor

like jack, shes going to be stern and make sure youre taking better care of yourself and taking the time to look over yourself, as well as teaching you basic first aid if you've decided to skip over that

does not try to control you, shes not going to stop you from getting into a fight or doing something a little risky (within reason, if the situation seems too.. intense... itd be different), because even despite your little... situation... she has enough trust in you not to get mortally wounded

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the-massive-simp · 7 months ago

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I've been thinking about fem/gn reader losing their virginity to kaeya, venti and kaveh... But maybe they accidentally get hurt and have to stop? I wanna know how they'd act when something like that happens (:

a/n: I love this kind of prompt <3 here you go anon! I'm slowly trying to fight writer's block so its only headcanons and not drabbles but I tried my best. sadly there's no venti because i dont really feel comfortable writing suggestive or nsfw things with him (i know i got your request before changing my rules so you did nothing wrong. sorry for the inconvenience). and remember everyone: a yes can turn into a no at any moment, and that's completely fine. consent is key. also I think that my love for kaveh shows in this one because his part is twice kaeya's one

warnings: it's not graphic smut but sex is mentioned so don't read if you're uncomfortable with that. no mentions of protections (make sure use them irl)

♡Kaeya♡

I imagine Kaeya being a super sex positive person, like for him sex is not a big deal as long as there's respect for the other person

so he was probably ready to have sex with you since you started dating 💀

but of course he didn't push you, he waited for you to be ready to have your first time with him

one time you have dinner at his place and an heated make up sessions evolves in discarding eachother clothes

he asks for your consent like 100 times while you two move to the bedroom

he knows how important foreplay is, so he makes sure to prepare you for the main act

then he slowly pushes himself in, an heavy breath leaving his lips as he hides his face in your neck, his arms supporting him so he doesn’t put all of his weight on you

you immediately feel uncomfortable

the stretch feels too much and its almost painful

at first you think it's normal but it doesn't go away even after he begins to gently trust in you

if anything, it gets worse, but he fails to notice tour discomfort

tears start to spill from your eyes as you put your hands on kaeya chest and tell him to stop

he immediately freezes, concern and guilt flooding his face

"Can I pull out?"

you nod and he backs away from your body, opting to sit back to give you some space

"Did it hurt? Did I do something wrong? Should I go get you anything?"

he listens to you as you try to explain him how you felt

he goes getting a warm cloth to gently clean you up before embracing you in his arms

he feels really bad for not having noticed your discomfort sooner

you tell him that's its fine, you thought you were ready but maybe you were too nervous

you two keep talking about it for a while until you fall asleep

after that for a while he's a bit reluctant to try again because he doesn't want to hurt you

but when you tell him that you really want to take this step with him, he finally agrees

expect 3 hours of foreplay

♡Kaveh♡

now now

sweet kaveh loves to spoil you, taking you out to have dinner and go shopping

however his wallet does not enjoy it as much as he does

so you often have dates where you just go for a walk together or have a picnic

it's during one of those dates that he casually mentions the subject of sex

now, he doesn’t want to force you but he loves you so much and the idea of you two doing that together looks amazing to him

the conversation its not meant to push you, but rather to offer you an occasion to talk about it together and see if you feel the same about him

when you tell him you're ready (be it that same date or after years) he gets so excited

he can't believe you're going to share the magic moment of your first time with him of all people

he probably asks you if you two can go at your place since he doesn't want alhaitham around

once you two get down to business, he's the sweetest guy ever

he kisses every single inch of your body, basically worshipping you

makes sure to keep eye contact with you most of the time so he can notice if anything is wrong

after the foreplay, he lets you get on top of him, straddling his lap while his back is propped up by some pillows

he wants you to be the one in charge so you can choose the pace of events

the moment you lower yourself on him, he knows something is wrong

yes, he does feel a lot of pleasure from finally being inside of you, but he doesn't miss the face you make

when after a few seconds he sees tears pooling in your eyes he has the confirmation of his suspects

he immediately grabs your hips and pulls you up, making you sit on his thighs before comfortly rubbing your arms and shoulders

"What's wrong baby?"

he's so gentle with you, holding you close while you sniffle in his neck, hands resting on his chest

he strokes your hair and reassures you that you don't have to do anything if you're not ready, that he'd wait a thousand years for you, that he loves you as much as before, that sex is not the important thing in your relationship

he waits for you to calm down before asking you what exactly you think went wrong

if you tell him you want to try again he's completely fine with it, but he becomes even more attentive and gentle, making sure that this time you'll be able to enjoy it

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader fluff #genshin smut #genshin fluff #kaeya smut #kaeya x reader #kaeya fluff #kaveh smut #kaveh x reader #kaveh x reader smut #kaveh x reader fluff #kaveh fluff #kaeya x reader smut #kaeya x reader fluff

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withlove-angel · 1 year ago

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Anonymous: hii! I liked your posts very much, can you do something more dark? With zoro? Like yandere non-con where the reader try to escape or something like that?-please keep me anon💜

⚠️warnings: dark!zoro, yandere, possessive behaviour, non-con

If you don't like please don't read

Never letting go

Y/n fast steps can be heard in all ship, she is trying to escape trying to run away. She will swim? She don't know...

"Fast, just a little bit more y/n" she talks with herself. The cold breeze making her shiver, her bare feet hurting, bet she dont care, she need to scape....

In the darkness of the night, her attempt to flee. Y/n try to run, to escape, but her legs are quickly bound by the ropes that zoro had tied before she woke up. He had a tight grip around her, leaving her powerless to defend herself. It didn't take too long for him to catch up to you. Zoro were surrounding y/n now, his faces covered by the shadows, his cold stares piercing her soul.

Zoro's dark eyes met hers, burning into her soul as his icy demeanor sent chills down her spine. He said nothing as his grip tightened on y/n wrists, pining her against the floor, holding in place. Y/n frantic efforts to break free were futile as he easily overpowered her.

"You are hurting me" she say almost soobing, her heavy breath is like music to him

Zoro's grip only tightened as if in response to her plea. He didn't care if he was causing her pain, his only focus was to make sure that she wouldn't try to escape. Y/n desperate attempts to pry herself free only made him grip you harder, causing her to grimace in pain.

"Please" she stop moving as she give up, tears finally rolling down her cheeks

Zoro watched as tears began to stream down y/n cheeks, taking pleasure in seeing her cry. He leaned in even closer, his breath hot against her cheek as he uttered the cruel words, "Please what?" He smirked at y/n, relishing in her misery.

"Let me go" she say weak, not looking at his face. Their body are pressed together as she is on the floor and he is on top of her, her boobs against his chest. Zoro chuckled, shaking his head as he gazed down at her. He refused to heed her pleas, enjoying the feeling of dominance as she squirmed beneath him. "I think not" he growled, his voice full of cold determination. His grip around her wrists only tightened, pressing y/n body against his. He leaned in until your faces mere inches apart, his warm breath brushing against her skin. Y/n heart was racing as the tension in the room mounted. She were so close to him that you could see the rage in his eyes. His strong and masculine frame pressed against hers, making she feel both scared yet excited. It was almost as if you could feel his muscles and strength. The way he looked at her caused her heart to race even faster, her mind going blank with a cocktail of emotions, not sure what to think, all she know is that he has you completely under his control.

Zoro's cold, steely gaze met hers. The pleading in y/n innocent eyes only made him smirk in pleasure as he leaned in further, his face just inches above her.

"Dont ever try to run away... dont even think about it" He was enjoying every moment of this, basking in the fact that he had her completely powerless and at his mercy. To make matters worse, he knew exactly how to torment her further, as he softly nuzzled your neck with his nose, his warm breath blowing over her sensitive skin. His lips lightly brushed against her, sending chills down. He couldn't help but take notice at how y/n's body trembled at his touch, and how her breath hitched in her throat as she attempted to ignore the sensations he was causing.

Grabing her ching with his steong hands, making her face turn away from him, she were unaware of how his eyes darkened with desire. Zoro was enjoying playing this little game of cat and mouse with her, and he knew exactly what he was doing.

She couldn't control the softy whimper out her mouth as he bites her collar bone, almost taking her shirt off. His lips slowly and seductively slid down, his teeth gently nabbing her flesh. She couldn't help but let out a soft, breathy whimper as she felt his lips and teeth on her skin. He continued to slowly tug at her shirt, this time, pulling it off her body. As she tried to regain control over her breathing, Zoro's gaze remained fixed on y/n, his eyes hungry with desire, as his hands wandered over her exposed body.

"Z-zoro" she try to push him, but he has no intention of letting her push him away. His strong arms easily restrained her, holding she in place as his teeth grazed over her exposed sholder, causing her body to tremble in anticipation, his gaze full of lust as he nibbled the soft skin, causing her to involuntarily shudder. Zoro's lips continued to caress her skin, tracing tiny patterns with his tongue until he eventually reached the nape of y/n's neck. He leaned in closer, licking her sensitive skin. His heated breath was blowing against her, teasingly close to giving her the sensation of a kiss, whilst also driving her crazy. Zoro was enjoying every minute of this, savoring the sound of y/n sharp intake of breath and whimpers. He refused to let go, wanting to relish in this moment as much as possible. She stay quietly as he marks her his property, wishing to know what goes insise his mind. Even as she stayed utterly silent, Zoro could feel her body trembling as he continued to work his way down. As he reached her back, his teeth left a mark, marking. Her breathing was shallow and erratic as he continued to nibble and lick at her exposed flesh. His hot breath filled her ears. He slowly lifted his head up, he locked eyes with her, giving a small, smug smile as he enjoyed her fear and submission. Hot tears roll down her face as she try to move once again, desperate to break free from his control. But zoro's grip was strong and unrelenting, unwilling to let her go. He pulled her even closer, pressing his body against hers so that you felt his heat. Histeeth once again leaving their mark on her flesh as he slowly sank his teeth into her neck. Y/n's tears only encouraged him to nibble harder, savoring the sensation of her skin between his teeth.

"Let me go"

She try to hit on his chest but was so weak that make him laugh "No, I don't think I will," zoro answered, grinning. He was enjoying himself way too much to stop, taking pleasure in her failed attempts to fight back. Even still, his large frame was easily able to restrain her. He held her arms in place, while taking advantage of her weak hits to his chest, laughing loudly as they did nothing to deter him, this only made his grip tighten, as he continued to nibble and suck on her sensitive skin, leaving behind his mark as a claim of ownership.He wanted to enjoy this as much as he could, zoro was having too much fun with this game, to the point where his amusement overrode all of his logic. As he continued to nibble and suck, feeling her skin under his teeth, nothing else mattered to him in that moment. He took in the sound of her soft whimpers, her tears and the scent of her fear as he claimed her flesh as his own. His hands were moving in other places now, his fingers exploring her body, testing the waters and seeing how much more he could get away with.

After all, she was his... an he would never let her go.

#one piece imagine #zoro #zoro smut #yandere one piece #yandere zoro #zoro yandere #zoro x reader #zoro imagine #zoro x you #zoro opla

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activesplooger · 19 days ago

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Lucifer comforting reader? Self image and body harm comfort, fluff (IF YOUR NOT COMFORTABLE DOING THIS ONE YOU DONT HAVE TO HUN GRAH)

-lovely 🫐

you got it!! bit of a short one tho, hope you enjoy :]

Tears roll down your cheeks as you stare at your reflection. You're not disappointed or upset by what you see anymore, just numb. Scars scatter your body, further blemishing your imperfect skin. A scowl etches on your features. Of course, you have to look like this. It's your fault. It's your fault for feeling this way. And you just had to make it worse by tearing up your skin.

You're overcome by a feeling of frustration, staring at yourself blankly in the mirror. Words plague your mind the longer you stare - useless, dumb, ugly, unloveable. That last word struck a chord with you. You start to sob, sliding your back against the wall until you fully sit. Hugging your knees, your body starts to shake as you sit helplessly on the ground.

Disgusting

Worthless

Pathetic

Defeated-

You snap out of your thoughts as you feel a familiar slender hand grasp your shoulder gently. Lifting your head up, you see Lucifer crouched down beside you with a soft expression on his face. "Hey, love. What are you doing down here?" he asks quietly. You shrug and look off to the side, avoiding his gaze. "Hey, look at me," Lucifer grabs your chin and gently guides you to look at him, "tell me what's wrong.". "I just feel... worthless. I-I can't help but hate myself... My body- My face- My fucking scars that I caused-!".

Lucifer notices you getting worked up the more you talk, "Shh, calm down my dear, it's okay... I'm sorry you feel worthless, my love, but you're not, I promise. If it weren't for you, I don't know where I'd be.". He smiles at you, almost a lovestruck grin, "And you're beautiful to me. You're Everything.". He softly pries your arm away from your knees and gently traces your scars, "These are a testament to your pain... to what you've been through, they don't make you ugly, they're proof that you're strong. The strongest person I've ever known.".

"No," you interrupt, "I'm weak, I can't just live life normally like other people...". "Oh, my love," he lifts your arm to his lips and kisses up and down it. He speaks between each kiss, each word a praise

"Beautiful"

"Precious"

"Strong"

"Mine"

His words comfort you, you weren't cured of your insecurities of course, but it helped a ton. He always made sure you knew how highly he thinks of you, and it never failed to help you. You lean into his touch, unfurling yourself of your closed-off position.

Lucifer lights up as he sees you open up. Without hesitation, you wrap your arms around him bury your face into his chest, and sob. "Shh, I'm here," he coos, arms tightening around you, "I've got you.".

Slowly and carefully, he lifts you off the ground and carries you to the bedroom. Once you arrive, he sets you down and kneels before you, taking off your shoes. He kicks off his own boots and lays beside you, patting his chest to signal you to lie there. Your tears slow down as you lay against him, the soothing rhythm of his heartbeat calming you down. "I love you, I'm so sorry you feel this way. I wish you saw yourself the way I see you," he whispers.

"I love you too, Lucifer. Just- hold me..."

"Of course, it'd be my pleasure," Lucifer holds you tightly against him, raking his fingers through your hair and softly massaging your head. He hums a melody softly, his angelic voice vibrating against his chest.

The two of you stayed in this embrace until you felt comfortable enough to get out, Lucifer staying by your side each step of the way. He made you all your favorite foods and listened to all your insecurities, making sure you felt heard and valid in your problems.

The End <3

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lincolndjarin · 9 months ago

Text

Every Now and Then - ch. two

[ And if You Only Hold Me Tight ]

pairing : joel miller x f!reader, platonicsoulmate!tommy & f!reader

word count : 9.3k

summary : you spend some time tommy, you spent some time with joel.

tags/warnings : 18+ mdni, angst, canon typical violence, language, panic attacks, violence, injury, wounds, possessive behavior, toxic relationships, animal death, i probs missed some i never know how to tag so lmk if i misses anything !!

a/n : this took so long and i dont even know it its good so i'm deeply sorry about that.

ao3 .𖥔 ݁ ˖ series masterlist .𖥔 ݁ ˖ main masterlist .𖥔 ݁ ˖ kofi

Now - JACKSON, WYOMING : 2023

“It’s nice to meet you Ellie.” You hold your hand out across the table to her, offering your own name up in the process, noticing an incredulous look in her eyes as you say it. Of course she doesn’t shake it, you’ve worked with enough survivors her age to know how they think.

She doesn’t trust any of this, and you can’t blame her. Every single thing she’s seen since arriving here is too good to be true, she’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. That’s okay, you can be patient. She just needs to learn how to be a kid again. When she makes no attempt to move you pull your hand back, your smile never wavering. You’ve met kids in much worse condition than this, you can work with this.

“Why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself, Ellie.” You set the notebook you’d been writing in back down onto the table, you don’t want this to feel like an interrogation for her, it needs to be a conversation or you won’t get any of the information you need.

“Like what?” She’s slouched down into the chair, her arms crossed across her chest. She has her defenses up, she has spent her entire life protecting herself, she isn’t going to stop just because a stranger offered her a mug of tea. A mug of tea that she has notably not touched.

“Anything you want to, or I could ask some specifics if you’d like.” You take a sip of your own tea, hoping it might show her it’s safe. She only hums in response, you decide it might be for the best if you just ask her what you need to know. “Let’s start with a few easy ones, how old are you?”

“Why do you need to know?”

“We need to assess your health, what classes you’ll be put in, if you’ll be needing any feminine products. I promise, anything I ask is for your own good.” Seeing kids like Ellie is a painful reminder of just how lucky your own little ones are, it’s a wonder she made it this far. You can’t hold her skepticism against her, her distrust is why she’s still alive. “Would it help if we brought your father in? He’s just down the hall with Maria.” You aren’t sure why, you typically handle every stray but she had insisted on helping you out today. She’d spewed some sort of excuse about how Ellie might need some special attention but as far as you can tell she’s in the same state that most kids are in when they arrive.

“He’s not my dad.” She’s quick to say it, as if it’s a sore subject.

“May I ask his relation to you then?” Maria had told you she arrived with her father, you were told to expect one teenage girl and one man in his fifties.

“He’s… my friend?” She sounds unsure, unsure enough to ring alarm bells in your head.

“Honey, are you in a safe situation? We can help you if you need-” She doesn’t even let you finish your question before sitting up straighter.

“No, no, no, gross, it’s not like that, he’s not like that.” The look of disgust on her face brings you immense relief, this world is full of enough horrors for a young woman to face.

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure.” Even if she hasn’t been through that, she hasn’t had it easy, no one has. But there’s something distinct in her eyes. Loss. She’s seen more than enough of it, more than anyone her age should. Her eyes keep darting to the door, her head tilts in that direction every time someone walks by. She’s worried about her companion. She doesn’t want to lose him too. “I know none of this makes sense, and you have no reason to trust me but I need you to try Ellie. And if I ask you anything you aren’t comfortable with then you don’t have to answer but I need you to try, please. The faster we finish up here, the faster you can get back to your friend.”

She takes a moment, you’re practically holding your breath when she finally nods.

Perfect, you can work with a nod. You love a nod, a nod is all you need to help this girl.

“Let’s start with your age again.”

“Fourteen.” You’ll have to have a menstruation kit sent to whatever house they put her in, most people’s cycles start being regular once after a few months in Jackson.

“Thank you.” All you get is another nod yet you can’t help but smile. “Do you know where you were born?”

“No.” Her eyes are trained on your shoes, occasionally darting around the room but staying low for the most part.

“Where did you grow up?”

“The QZ.” The thought makes you sick for several reasons. The last place a child should grow up is the streets of a quarantine zone, even if she was in the FEDRA program it wouldn’t have been easy. The thought of any QZ still makes you queasy, even after this long.

“Which one?” Anywhere but Boston.

“Boston.” Of course. With your luck she would be. Someone’s far from home.

“FEDRA program?” As terrible as they are, they always keep the kids' vaccinations up to date, one less thing for you to worry about.

“Mhmm.”

“How old were you when you left?”

“Fourteen.” How the hell did she make it to Jackson all the way from Boston in such a short period of time? Why come to Jackson at all? There’s certainly other QZ’s between here and there, there’s probably other settlements too.

“Can I ask why you left?” It’s not a question you need to ask but your stomach is in knots at the mention of the Boston QZ and you can’t help yourself.

“I’d rather you didn’t.” Something flashes across her face, she isn’t trying to be rude, she simply doesn’t want to talk about it.

“That’s fine.” You don’t need to worry about it. She doesn’t know him. There’s no reason for her to know him. QZ’s house hundreds, if not thousands, of people. There’s no reason to spiral over nothing. “Do you have any allergies that you’re aware of?”

“Nope.” She makes a popping sound on the “P” as she leans back in the chair, trying to look relaxed despite how on edge she still is. You decide not to put anymore pressure on her, it won’t do you any good.

“How are you feeling physically? Any symptoms of illness?”

“Like infection?” You have to stifle a laugh, if she was infected the two of you certainly wouldn’t be sitting here right now.

“I’m not worried about that, I mean something more like a runny nose or a cough.”

“Oh. No.”

“Any skills in particular you’d like to learn? Our school system is a little less traditional than what you probably had with FEDRA.”

“I like science.” She sits up a bit, good, you’ve found something that piques her interest.

“Then I will make sure you’re enrolled in some science classes. But I meant skills like agriculture, construction, or veterinary care. Something you could learn about that interests you. You won’t be asked to help out around town until you’re sixteen but we like to let you explore different things to see what you like-”

“Could I learn how to shoot a gun?” She leans forward before you can finish your thought.

“You could apprentice some of the hunters, we could also have you trained for patrol and scavenging which involves gun safety and training courses. You’re a bit young for those but I’m sure I could ”

“Really?” You can tell by the inflection in her voice that she still doesn’t trust you entirely, even if she’s excited.

“Of course, you’ll probably be the youngest student in the training class but I’m sure you can handle it.” She needs something good in her life. You want to protect everyone who finds their way to Jackson but this girl makes your heart ache. Most adults you’ve worked with aren’t able to hold themselves together this long, putting on a brave face despite everything.

“Do you like burgers?” You almost cringe as you say it, hoping she’s had food outside of the synthetic shit FEDRA produces.

“I guess?”

“I’m having a little cookout tomorrow evening once everyone’s finished their work, it’ll be small, just me and some family but you’re welcome to join. You can bring your friend, I have two little ones you can play with. They might be a little younger than your usual friends but I promise they’re great company.” You swear she almost smiles, and suddenly you just want to make this poor kid smile. “You know, I’ve got a telescope in my garage, so if you stop by it’s all yours.”

“Seriously?”

“Absolutely, I’ve never even touched the thing so maybe you can put it to good use. Let me write down the house description for you, it isn’t too far from this building, you can stop in whenever you want tomorrow. There’s an empty house across the street as well, maybe I could show it to you, see if you like it.” You pencil it down, tearing the paper and handing it to her. This isn’t something you’d typically do but you can’t resist an opportunity to help her feel more at home here.

“Yeah, I mean that would be great.”

“Perfect.” You lean back in your chair. “What sort of hobbies interest you?” You’ll be in charge of putting together a welcome basket for her since Maria has marked her down as a permanent occupant.

“Reading, I like comics. And I used to draw a lot in the QZ.” Perfect, books are easy to find since Jackson was built around a small library.

“Okay then, I think that’s all I need from you for now but I’ll be around soon once you get housing settled. You can go join Maria and your friend if you’d like, I have to figure out what house we’re going to put you two in but I’ll be stopping by later with a few things for you.” That actually isn’t all you need from her, there are more questions on your mind, one specific question. Ask her what his name is.

“Thanks.” She stands, quickly heading towards the exit as you grab your notebook, you need to make a list of everything they’ll be needing.

You shouldn’t. If by some stroke of misfortune you’re right this question will only serve to destroy everything you’ve worked so hard to push away. You shouldn’t.

But you do.

Before she’s out the door you call out her name, you don’t want to know, but you have to.

“Ellie, what’s your friend's name?”

You found the treehouse two months after you found Jackson.

With tears streaming down your face you had dropped the twins off at Maria’s, mumbling apologies before going to the edge of town, a large amount of Jackson was empty, and still is. They’re planning for the future. Someday, generations from now, the town will grow and they’ll use these houses to accommodate families. But for now it’s just an empty town, one that you realized had a treehouse. You had hidden yourself away there, curling up into a ball to become as small as possible.

Tommy had found you hours later, shivering, with no more tears left to cry. And he hadn’t chastised you or asked you why you’d done it, he’d just taken your hand and walked you home. It doesn’t take him hours this time, only about thirty minutes according to your watch. You hear the crunch of his boots, the walking pattern you recognize as his, and the creak of the boards as he pushes the hatch open before sliding up into the small space with you.

Before he speaks you’re already reaching for him, desperate to cling to some kind of familiar safety.

“Hey darlin’.” It’s a dance you two do, fluid and instinctual as he pulls you into his arms, you slot yourself between his bent legs as he wraps himself around you. You used to sit like this when you couldn’t find shelter on snowy nights, one of the many habits you had trouble breaking when you found Jackson. Maria would never ask you to change your relationship with him, it was a decision you had made with Tommy when he told you he wanted to marry her. A part of you just sort of knew she didn’t like it, so you stopped. And you’d never hold that against her, if the roles were reversed you certainly wouldn’t be as kind as she’s been. That’s why you’ve always loved Maria, since the first day you met her she has been like a sister, patient but blunt with you.

Except in this one instance.

She withheld some particularly important information.

“The twins?” You lay back against him as you mumble.

“Maria’s watching them. They’re helping her make dinner, you shoulda’ seen them in the kitchen. I swear she’s the only person they listen…” His voice trails off when he feels you tensing up all over again as you go back to fighting off tears.

A silence falls between you, familiar and reminiscent of your first few days together out in the woods. And just like back then, you’re the one to break it.

“Have you seen him yet?” The words feel small and hoarse in your throat.

“No. Couldn’t bring myself to.” He rests his chin on your shoulder, you wish you could find comfort in any of this but there’s just too much dread. Too much unease fills your stomach to relax.

“Does he know you’re here?” You wish your voice didn’t tremble so much.

“Maria didn’t tell him.”

“Are we sure it’s even him?”

“Not a lot of Joel Millers walking around during the apocalypse.” It’s like he can sense your skepticism as he quickly continues. “She said he looked like a Miller.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Like me but grayer.” Fair enough.

“Does he know I’m here?” There’s no way. He couldn’t.

“No.”

“Good.”

“Can’t stay that way forever.” You know that. But you don’t have anything to say about it so you move on, and redirect the anger that mixes with your confusion and fear.

“Why didn’t she tell us?” He can’t take your side in this, as much as you want him to, he has to take her side because her’s is the rational one. Do you have a side? Can you be mad at her for this? Are there even sides?

“Probably because she knew we’d react like this.” His head tilts a bit to rest against your own. You’re thankful for this position so you don’t have to look him in the eye.

“She should have told us.” You’re trying to remain calm but your voice is pitching up higher by the minute.

“She was going to, she just didn’t know how. She thought she had more time”

You need to relax. It feels like your heart is going to burst from your chest and you’re certain Tommy feels it too.

“How did he find us?” He wouldn’t have been looking for you specifically, unless he had a death wish.

“On accident, I think. Maria said he was looking for me when they found him.” That makes sense. It’s just a coincidence that you’re also here. He has no way of knowing that you even know Tommy. How he managed to locate him is another matter.

“We’re two thousand miles away from the QZ, how the fuck did he find you?”

“He always gets what he wants.”

You can’t argue with that. Plain and simple, you don’t need much more than that.

“I don’t want to see him.” An impossible request, but you make it anyway.

“We both know that isn’t possible.”

“Tell her to send him away.” Also unlikely.

“You know she can’t do that, we don’t turn folks away from Jackson.”

“Then I’ll leave.”

“Like hell you will.” There is no fight in his voice, just certainty as he holds you a little tighter. Not without me. The silent promise that lingers under his words, but it’s more complicated than that now, you have two toddlers and he has a wife, there is no running away from this. No running away from him

He’s inevitable.

It doesn’t matter if the world ends, and you run halfway across the country, Joel Miller is inevitable.

“He’s got a kid.” You mumble as you reach for his hand, entwining your fingers with his. You hadn’t realized how cold you were until you felt the warmth of his skin against yours.

He scoffs. “He’s got two.”

“Another kid, some girl. He brought her here all the way from Boston.”

He shifts a bit, clearly confused. “Why?”

“I was hoping you’d know, it isn’t exactly in his nature to help the needy.”

He pauses for a moment. “Well, I mean, how old is she?”

“Fourteen.”

“Well there’s your reason, Sarah was fourteen.”

Sarah.

A girl you know very little about other than the fact that she’s your daughter's namesake. Sarah Ruth Miller. It had been Tommy’s idea, you had only picked out a name for a boy and you owed Tommy everything for keeping you alive that long, so when he asked if he could pick his niece's middle name you’d been more than happy to oblige.

It hadn’t been Joel who told you about Sarah, he never even told you he had a kid.

Tommy had told you about it just before the twins were born. You’d been snowed into a cabin and he’d just returned from hunting with a grin on his face as he told you he had a surprise. You couldn’t sleep, between the cold and the pain in your lower back you were just too uncomfortable most nights. Tommy always insisted on staying up to keep you company even if he ended up falling asleep most of the time.

That night he told you about how he lost his niece on outbreak day as he skinned the fox he’d caught in one of his traps as you sat beside him in front of the crumbling fireplace. When he finished the story he held up the pelt and told you he was going to make your babies first blanket with it.

Of course at the time neither of you knew that he would have to make a second blanket, or that he would need to do it a month sooner than either of you had planned.

“I invited him to dinner tomorrow.” No sense in hiding the fact from him, he’ll find out either way.

“What?” His hand tightens around yours and it’s your turn to comfort him as your thumb rubs circles against the tense skin.

“Ellie- the kid, I invited her before I knew about Joel. Even told her she could bring him.” You almost laugh at how ridiculous it all sounds now. Of course you invited him to dinner completely by accident, sounds like something you would do.

“Then why don’t we just get it over with?” Or you could leave, brave the Wyoming wilderness with your kids and his wife and make a run for it, far, far, away from Joel Miller.

But you can’t do that.

So you might as well get it over with.

“Together?” You bring his hand up to your face to warm the icy skin of your cheek.

“Together.”

He means it. He stays with you until the next day, walking you back into town and bringing you to his house. Maria starts apologizing the second the two of you walk through the door but you just hug her. She doesn’t owe you anything, any anger you thought you felt towards her was misplaced.

And you all settle in for the night.

On particularly bad nights you’ll spend the night at their house. It’s been happening less and less these last few months but it’s an unspoken decision tonight as Maria brings down sleeping bags from the attic for the kids.

You tuck the kids in by the fireplace, hoping that they don’t catch the vacant look in your eyes as you kiss their foreheads. Thankfully they both seem to be too excited about having a living room campout to notice. You hear hushed whispers from the kitchen, it sounds like an argument so you just sit on the couch, wrapping a blanket around yourself as you stare out the window facing the street.

What house did she put them in? There are a few options for temporary housing, but he could be anywhere. The thought makes you nauseous. Thankfully you’re distracted when you eventually hear Maria stomping up the stairs followed by a sigh from the kitchen before Tommy joins you on the couch.

“Everything all right?” You mumble, hoping to not wake the kids as you offer up some of the blanket to him.

“It will be.”

God you hope so.

“How do you wanna do this?”

Good question.

Preferably you wouldn’t be doing this at all, instead you would be enjoying what might be the last nice day before autumn sets in entirely. You, Arthur, Ruth, Tommy, and Maria. You’d still be happy if Ellie came over by herself but that’s so unlikely you don’t even consider it an option. Joel’s too protective and you confirmed with Maria that Ellie would be coming. He won’t let her go alone, you know that better than anyone.

You rub the back of your neck with your freehand. “The kids stay inside with Maria.” Ruth is already there, helping her aunt with the salad as Arthur sits in your lap, playing with a few stones he’s set up on the picnic table.

“Okay.” Tommy’s biting his nails, you’d spent weeks reprimanding him about that until he broke the habit.

Your knee starts bouncing, a nervous habit of your own that you’ve had for as long you can remember. Thankfully Arthur simply hums to himself as you bounce him. As far as you can tell neither one of the twins knows something is wrong, you can only hope it stays that way.

“We can wait for them out here, I can ask Ellie to go in and help Maria with the kids.”

“And then?”

You frown in contemplation. “I haven’t planned that far ahead.”

“So you didn’t plan for the most important part?”

“Did you?”

His teeth shift when you ask, biting down hard enough to split his nail lower than he intended. You watch as blood blooms there while he curses under his breath.

“Shit, go inside and grab a bandage, they’re in the cabinet above the sink.” He stands as you wave him towards the house, he brings his thumb to his mouth, his brow furrowed. “And bring Maria and Ruth out with you when you come back so we can go over everything with her.” He nods, humming in response before he disappears behind the screen door.

“Is Uncle Tommy okay?” When you look down you’re met with a worried look plastered on your son's face. You instinctively cup his face with your hand, using your thumb to smooth out the wrinkle between his brows. He looks too much like his father when he does that.

“He’s okay, love. He’s just gotta go get your Aunt and Ruth.” You lean down, kissing his forehead before turning to set him down next to you.

“Okay, Mama.” He seems satisfied with your response as he gives your leg a little pat before running off towards the edge of the yard. You’ve got a patch of rocks and gravel the kids like to dig through. You turn to watch him, with your back now leaning against the picnic table as he crouches down, examining the ground before finding a suitable stone. Clutching it in his hand he rushes back to you, holding it up for your approval.

“Very pretty, thank you.” You take it from him with a smile, setting it behind you on the table with the rest of them. He repeats the process several times, staring down at the ground, scrutinizing each rock before bringing the ones he deems good enough over to you. You give appropriate oo’s and ah’s to each one, grateful for the brief peace your son is able to give you. He carries on with this for sometime, until you have a sizable pile of rocks beside you.

He leaves, and he returns, dozens of times until he decides not to return to the patch of gravel.

You thank him for the speckled stone he hands you now but instead of running back across the yard he squints, staring up at your expression.

“What’s wrong?” He hops up onto the bench next to you, grabbing the sleeve of your shirt and bunching it up in his little fist as you give him a soft smile.

“Nothing’s wrong, hon.” You ruffle his hair a bit but he doesn’t seem convinced.

“Why’d you make a mad face then? Uncle Tommy too.”

So much for the kids being clueless, they’ve always been too smart for their own good.

Shit.

You sigh, looking up at the clouds briefly before looking back down at him.

No sense in lying to him. “You know how Uncle Tommy has a brother?” You wrap an arm around him, pulling him close.

His face scrunches up a bit as he thinks. “Yeah…” He doesn’t sound entirely convinced as you give him a reassuring smile.

“Well, we don’t really- we don’t always get along with Uncle Tommy’s brother, and he’s gonna be visiting us soon.”

“Why?”

“He’s in Jackson for a little bit, and he came a long way to get here-”

“No Mama, why don’t you like him?”

This is a conversation you had hoped to have with your children when they’re older. Preferably it would be one you wouldn’t have to have at all, but it’s just another unavoidable part of Joel. They’re already old enough to ask questions, it started when kids in their class began asking if Tommy was their dad. Which of course led to the twins asking you one night just before bed the same question.

“No love, he’s your uncle, who told you that?” You don’t want that rumor going around, people already talk about it, it doesn’t help that they both bear a resemblance to him.

“No one, Annie asked us.” Your daughter answers as you brush some of her hair behind her ear. You recognize the name, it’s a girl in their daycare class.

“And what did you tell her?”

“That we just got a mom.” Ruth answers but Arthur picks up the second she’s finished speaking.

“Do we have a dad?” He tilts his head to the side as you swallow loudly.

“Yes, you do.”

“Where?” Ruth asks.

Last you’d heard he was in Boston.

“I’m not sure.” They turn and look at each other before turning in unison towards you, you should have known they wouldn’t take that answer. “We lived together for a little while, in New York, and then we got separated.” None of that means anything to either of them but it’s an answer, which is better than nothing.

Arthurs tiny hand squeezes yours, pulling you back into reality. You often wonder if they know when you’re lost in a memory, he looks up at you curiously. What did you do to deserve such a patient child?

You take a moment to think of a way to phrase it. “We… got into a fight. A long time ago.”

“About what?”

“Grown up stuff.” Your heartbeat quickens, you don’t want him to know about all that, he’s too little, you need to end this conversation.

“What kin-“ When he starts another line of questioning you poke at his sides, sliding him off the bench in a fit of giggles.

“Time to go inside, nosy little man.” You follow after him as he rushes away, brown hair that’s just starting to curl at the ends falling into his eyes as he runs away from the house.

You catch up to him within a few steps, scooping him up and cradling him like a baby. He lets out a high pitched shriek until you squish your face into his cheek, kissing the rosy skin until he quiets down to a few small giggles.

“Your aunt needs some help in the kitchen, you’re gonna go play with her and your sister now.” He nods as he squirms in your arms until he’s more comfortable, wrapping his arms around your neck and resting his chin on your shoulder as you walk him back towards the house.

He’s gonna need a nap soon, which means Ruth is gonna need a nap soon. Maybe you should try and get them both down before everything else happens.

Right on cue, Tommy pushes open the door with Ruth on his hip, Maria not far behind him. Based on the smiles they’re both sporting you can assume they’ve made up. They always do.

“I think it might be time for these two to head inside.” Tommy gives you a soft smile and for a single second you get to pretend that everything’s fine. Maria takes a lighter towards the grill, trying to light it as you go to stand next to Tommy, the twins both grinning at each other.

In your own little bubble, everything is completely fine, and you’re with your family.

And at the end of your single perfect second the bubble is popped. It all happens before you’re ready, although you doubt you could ever really be ready for this.

Maria pockets her lighter, mumbling something about going inside to look for matches after a few unsuccessful attempts. You set Arthur down, nudging him in her direction, he quickly runs towards her, taking her hand as she begins to make her way back towards the house. Tommy wraps his free hand around your shoulder. Giving you a reassuring squeeze as you rest your head against him to stare at your little girl.

“We’ve got this.” He gives you another squeeze but you’re struggling to find safety in it. He’s always been the strong one, the confrontational one. He’s got this. You don’t. You tilt your head to stare at him when Ruth’s gaze goes from your face to his but your head snaps to the side when you hear your name called.

Everyone looks up. The twins, Maria, Tommy, and you, as Ellie walks around the side of the house and waves at you. The sound of your name makes the man walking behind her look as well, his all too familiar scowl scanning the yard, softening into a look of disbelief when his eyes settle on you.

Then - NEW YORK CITY, QUARANTINE ZONE : 2019

“I don’t like havin’ you out there on your own. I worry too much.” He mumbles the words against the back of your neck as he tightens his hold around your waist. At some point the two of you had stopped pretending you’d wake up any other way and just went to bed like this. “Stay here, angel.”

You’re so comfortable you almost consider it, but you ran out of cards last week and you’re cleared for work as of today. “I have to go if I want to sign up for any of the well paying shifts, Joel.” You peel his arms off of you, sitting up as he matches your movements.

“Don’t sign up for that shit, it’s always somethin’ stupid or dangerous.” His voice is low and thick with sleep as he wraps his arms back around you. “If you need somethin’ I’ll get it for you.” He hasn’t shaved in a few weeks, his coarse facial hair rubs against your shoulder as he murmurs.

Who knew big, scary Joel Miller could be so clingy.

The most surprising part of your relationship, if you could even call it that, with Joel is just how needy he is. You don’t have any problems with it, it’s just a bit of a shock. Although maybe needy isn’t the right word.

Protective.

You’ve left the apartment two times in total since moving in with Joel, both times you insisted on needing air much to his dismay. He accompanied you around the block without a word the first time. The second time was the same, the only difference was that you stopped to buy a small bag of buttons, Joel had frowned as you made small talk with the older man sitting behind the table before rushing you home.

“You could have just told me you needed buttons.” He grumbles as he holds the door open for you as you make your way to the kitchen table, taking a seat as you take his flannel off of you, the sight of your tattered sports bra serves as a reminder of how badly you need to get back to work once you’re cleared.

“I don’t need buttons, you do. Every shirt you own is missing at least one.” You laid the shirt down on the table, pointing to the drawer next to the sink. “Get me the sewing kit.” His frown deepens but he does as you say before sitting down across from you.

Reaching across the table he sets the box down beside you, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Still, you should have just asked me.”

You open the small tin, unspooling a bit of thread. “I needed to go outside for a few minutes, it’s stuffy in here.”

“We could have opened a window.” He grumbles under his breath as you grin, holding the thread between your teeth while sliding the other end through the needle.

“It’s not the same and you know it.” You mumble through your teeth before releasing the thread and setting the needle down. You pour the buttons out onto the table, searching for one that best matches the beige of the buttons on the flannel. Eventually his hand encompasses your own as he guides you to one that’s a slightly different shape but matches the color perfectly. “Thank you.” You give him a teasing smile as you place it over the frayed threads where its predecessor once was.

That was a week ago and you haven’t been outside since but when Joel went to get the mail from downstairs he brought you a notice from the doctor that you were cleared to return to work today. Despite his protests you start to push the blanket off of you but he’s quick to pull it right back up into place.

“Stay, please.” He continues to hum against your skin.

“I need the money, Joel.” You turn to look at him, his usual morning sulky look seems doubled today.

“How much do you need?” He raises an eyebrow at you as he lets his face fall forward, his forehead resting on yours.

“It’s not like that.” You swear, if you asked him to, he'd find a way to give you the moon and stars, but you hate relying on him for everything, especially after such a long time of being dependent on him. “I just need to work.”

“You don’t need to. You want to.” His breath still smells like whiskey from last night as he gives you an exasperated glare.

“Fine, I want to work. My leg’s fine now, you can barely tell anything was wrong with it. I’ll be okay.” You lean just a bit more towards him, kissing his cheek before sliding out of bed.

You aren’t exactly dating Joel.

Dating seems so trivial during an apocalypse, and you haven’t had any conversations about it. It just sort of happened. You woke up one day and neither one of you wanted to pull away from the other, and it progressed from there. He came home from a job one night and climbed into bed next to you, wrapping himself around you and he kissed your forehead before falling asleep. You still don’t know if he knew you were awake. The next night you’d taken his face in your hands and kissed him, just to see what he’d do, thankfully after a moment of shock he’d kissed you back. And it just became another unspoken part of your life with Joel. He kissed you goodbye when he left to go do the things he refused to tell you about in any detail, and you always greeted him with a kiss when he returned.

But you don’t have sex.

You want to ask him why but you hold your tongue, it’s possible you’re just being impatient or maybe he just wants to wait. So you don’t push it or bring it up because you like how things are with him.

The word boyfriend is not a word that suits Joel.

He isn’t your boyfriend, he’s just sort of, yours.

“Angel, please.” He continues his griping as he pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Joel, please.” You repeat back at him, trying to mimic his low tone.

“I’m bein’ serious. Things have gotten bad out there recently, too much FEDRA bullshit.”

“It’s always been bad and I’ve always managed, I’ll be fine.” You pull one of his shirts out of the closet, slipping it on, starting to button it as he makes his way to the end of the bed.

“Can we at least talk about this?” He rests his elbows on his knees as he hunches over. The morning haze on his face is gone and is replaced by the stern scowl you’re used to.

“There isn’t anything to talk about. I’ll be careful, there’s nothing to worry about, I’ll see you tonight.” After digging through the dresser drawers you eventually find your only pair of jeans. Once your boots are laced you walk back over to him, standing between his legs and taking his face in your hands.

Staring down into his surprisingly gentle eyes, so dark that in the dim morning light they look pitch black.

God he’s pretty.

Even with that stupid pout of his.

“I’ll see you tonight.” You lean down, placing a kiss on his forehead before pulling away only to be stopped when his grip on your waist tightens.

“Just- wait.” You’re about to push him away with a laugh but his voice cracks just enough to make your smile drop.

You start to speak in a soft tone but you only get one word out. “Joel…”

“Please- I just- I can’t let you go out there and sign up for that shit. There’s jobs that aren’t dangerous, simple stuff.”

“Those jobs pay a few cards at best, hon. I can’t wear your clothes forever, I need new underwear, socks, all sorts of things. And I want to contribute around here, I’ll be okay, I promise.” You push the mess of hair falling across his forehead back as you stare down at him.

He looks so genuinely upset already and you haven’t even left yet, he’s making this far more difficult than you thought it’d be. “I won’t be able to do anything if I don’t know you’re safe. It’s dangerous for both of us, I can’t be distracted like that.” You sigh, long and loud as you drop your hands to your sides.

The more you think about it the more it makes sense. He really does worry too much, and even if you don’t know exactly what he does for work, you know it’s dangerous.

Maybe it won’t be so bad.

“Okay.” You groan.

“You’ll stay?” The corners of his mouth start to raise a bit.

“I’ll do the safer jobs.” The hint of a smile that had been on his face dissipates. “It’s a compromise. You can’t always get everything you want.”

“Fine, come right home after.”

“I will.” With one more kiss he finally lets you go.

So, at Joel’s request, you sign up for the easy jobs.

They’re boring, and generally sort of terrible, and they pay the least, but Joel doesn’t make any further arguments about it. So you keep signing up for them. Typically it’s childcare, or filing documents for FEDRA, or working in the entry level food processing jobs.

Boring, boring, jobs that involve standing around and doing nothing or wrangling kids who don’t deserve to grow up in a place like this. You hate the look on their little faces, they always look too grown up for their ages.

But you put up with it, because at the end of the day you get to go home to Joel, Joel who seems to be in significantly higher spirits ever since you’ve agreed to those specific jobs. So you make it work. He makes it worth the banality of it all, at the end of your first week back to work he surprised you with a large paper bag, grinning like you’d never seen him before. When you unfolded the crumpled bag you were greeted with a mess of fabric, different colors and textures. You poured the contents onto the bed and immediately realized what he’d gotten you. Bras, panties, socks, and two pairs of jeans. It must’ve cost him a fortune and your eyes began to water immediately. You had wrapped your arms around him, barely letting go of him for the rest of the night.

After that it got even easier, eventually you got used to it.

You learned to live with the terrible jobs, and if you wanted anything you couldn’t afford with your meager savings Joel always managed to get it for you, even if you hadn’t told him you’d wanted it in the first place.

You probably would have stayed like that forever if you hadn’t started taking the long way home. Weeks had passed before it happened, you had grown comfortable, vulnerable. Joel always made sure you felt safe and you let your guard down just long enough for something to happen.

Joel had left early that morning, telling you that he was gonna be late, before he kissed you, he was out the door before the sun came up.

Whenever Joel told you he would be late you took the long way home. Winding back alleys that were mostly empty that always led back to the apartment building. It was just a treat for yourself, something to do to fill time that would be spent at home, waiting for him.

You never had any issues or alterations.

Until that afternoon.

Joel will be late.

So the second your shift is over you take the handful of cards and make your way through the city. And just like you’ve done every other time, you look behind you every once and a while but not nearly as much as you should. Because of this, you don’t see him until it’s too late.

It’s a younger man, probably a year or two older than you at most peering around the last corner you turned. Once he knows he’s been seen his pace quickens and instinctively you do the same.

“On the ground!” The second you hear it you pray it’s for someone else, it has to be, you’ve done nothing wrong. You walk faster, hoping to avoid what could be a messy confrontation when the sound of boots slamming on the pavement rushes towards you and you’re forced up against the wall of the alley.

In your peripheral you catch the white text against the black of his uniform.

FEDRA.

Your knees are kicked from under you as he pins your arms behind your back, the force at which your head hits the stone has you dizzy as you try to catch your breath. Too much is happening too quickly, when you finally feel like you can use your voice the wind is knocked out of you as you feel him hit you in the side, hard enough to have you wondering if he broke a rib. The force of the hit makes your knees crumble completely as the officer lets you fall, only giving you enough time to get to your hands and knees before his boot slams into your stomach knocking you onto your side.

Finally, when you roll over onto your back you get a clear look at him. He looks like your average FEDRA officer, the only thing out of place is the unsure look on his face. Your ears are ringing so you barely make out what he says, all you catch is something about thinking you were someone else, before he turns and leaves as if it never happened.

Leaving you alone to clutch your stomach and wonder what just happened, and what you did to deserve that.

You’d never heard of random attacks from FEDRA before. Maybe in other zones, but the city has always been calm as far as that goes. Maybe things really did get worse while your leg was healing.

Joel was right.

That’s all you can think about as you stumble to get to your feet, everything hurts but now is not the time to assess your wounds, you need to get home before something else happens. You manage to hobble up the stairs of the building, nearly collapsing by the time you opened the door.

You feel so stupid.

Joel was right.

It isn’t safe out there, at least not for you. No one fucks with Joel, no one attacks him on the street because they’re afraid of him. No ones afraid of you.

It’s a long couple of hours after that.

Mostly a lot of berating yourself as you try to take in the extent of the damage.

Surprisingly it seems to mostly be surface level. Sure, you’re going to bruise pretty bad and your face got scraped up on the stones but nothing permanent seems to have been inflicted.

Once you’ve showered and slipped into an old shirt of his and a pair of panties you climb into bed, wanting this day to just be over, but you know it isn’t. Right on schedule you hear the lock click as Joel steps through the front door, you hide your face in your pillow.

“What are you still doin’ up? It’s almost midnight.” His voice is a low whisper as you hear the familiar sounds of him kicking off his boots and setting down his things. You hear the outer layer of his clothing hit the floor, you told him a while ago you thought it was gross that he slept in the clothes he wore all day. He started sleeping in his undershirt and boxers after that. “You okay, Darlin’?” The bed shifts as he sits beside you and the second you turn and look at him his jaw twitches. “Christ… what the hell happened? Who did this to you?” He’s managing to stay mostly calm but you’re already worried he’s going to blow.

“It’s nothing, I just had an issue with an officer on my way-“

“This is not nothing.” He’s already fussing with your face as you take his hands and move them away from you.

“Joel-“

“Tell me what happened.” It’s a command and you’re too tired to fabricate something, and for the first time in a while, you’re afraid.

So you tell him exactly how it happened. And before you realize it’s happening you’re sniffling, a part of you feels like you’re about to be scolded for this but he only nods, never interrupting you until you’ve finished.

Your vision’s blurry with tears when you look up at him, the weight of being attacked starts to weigh heavy as you realize just how lucky you were that that was all that happened. And then you say the words he’s been waiting to hear.

“You were right, Joel.”

“I’m sorry, angel. I should have been there to protect you.” He holds his arms open and you don’t hesitate as you lean forward into him. You do your best to hold it together as he lays you down before clicking off the lamp and pulling you back against him. He softly scratches your back, kissing the top of your head as he does. It’s silent for a few more minutes until he suddenly whispers into the darkness. “Tell me you’ll stay here from now on.”

“Joel, I-“

“No more going out there without me. You’ll stay safe right here, no one can hurt you here, not while I’m around.” You open your mouth to argue again but stop yourself.

He’s right.

Now that you’ve calmed down you know that you’re lucky to even be alive. You don’t know why you were attacked but you know it could happen again, and there are worse things than being beaten.

No one would hurt you here, not with Joel around.

“Stay here, angel.” He murmurs, softer this time.

Joel is right.

“Okay.”

He isn’t beside you when you wake up, your hands searching through the cold sheets seeking his warmth. He had mentioned something as you were falling asleep about an early morning supply run but you had hoped to say goodbye before he left, you wanted to make him breakfast. As you get ready to roll back over and sleep a bit more you’re startled into an upright position.

“You should watch where you’re flying, angel.” You bite back a shriek as Tess’s voice comes from the direction of the kitchen.

“Christ, you scared the hell out of me!” Your heart skips a beat as you reach over to the nightstand, pulling on the little chain that turns the lamp on. “Joel’s not even here, what are you doing?” You don’t like the idea of being alone with her, she doesn’t come around much anymore, you used to see her in the hall on her way here constantly, but after you moved in she stopped.

You do your best not to flinch as she makes her way over to you, standing at the foot of the bed.

“I’m not here to hurt you, there’s no need for theatrics.” You hadn’t realized you were shaking so badly until she said it, it takes a conscious effort but you manage to stop it for the most part. “I’m just here to talk.”

“About what?”

“About you and Joel.”

You don’t want to talk about that with Tess. You don’t want to talk to Tess at all, she frightens you and she knows it.

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m stupid.” This time when you flinch she hesitates. For a brief moment the facade of a woman who fears nothing drops, and you swear you see sympathy in her eyes. “Joel is dangerous, you need to be careful with him or you’re going to get hurt.”

Is that why she’s here? To try and break you up?

“He won’t hurt me, he cares about me.” You wish you sounded more sure of yourself.

“You’re right, at least for now.” She flips her pocket knife open, ever so carefully running the blade along the underside of her nails, scraping away any dirt or grime she so happens to find, you fight the urge to flinch again. When she finally looks back up at you she takes a moment, examining your expression as if this was an interrogation. “Being loved by him is the worst thing that could possibly happen to a girl like you.”

You can’t help but scoff, now look who’s being theatrical. “A girl like me?”

“Good, too good. And fragile.” She points at you with the blade before returning to her nails. “He’ll do anything to keep you safe, even if it means breaking you into tiny little pieces, just so you’ll fit in a box he can lock.”

You’re about to call her a liar but you hesitate. “Why are you telling me this?”

“You deserve to know.”

“Okay, but why? You don’t even like me.”

“You wouldn’t be here if I didn’t like you.”

Fair enough.

“I think you should go.” You don’t want to hear anything else. You don’t believe anything she’s saying and the entire conversation makes you feel sick. She doesn’t know anything about your relationship with him, and she clearly doesn’t know anything about Joel. He’d do anything for you, you don’t think you’ve ever been taken care of before you met him.

“What do you know about glue traps?” She doesn’t make any effort to leave so you decide to just answer her with a sigh.

“Like the ones you use to catch mice? I don’t know, Joel buys them sometimes.”

She points her knife in the direction of the corner of the room, it takes a moment for your eyes to adjust. Sure enough, in the corner of the room, peeking out from under his dresser, is the faint outline of something on the floor, you’d never noticed it before.

“It’s the worst kind of way to catch a mouse.” She stands, walking across the room and peeling up the trap with the edge of her blade before snapping it shut and taking the edge of the trap between her fingers, dragging it across the floor to the middle of the room so you had a clear view of it. “They’ll do anything to get out.” The tip of her boot nudges the corner of the trap, now that it’s been dragged into the lamp light you can see exactly what she wanted to show you. Two things are in the bloody trap. A mouse, barely alive, based on the way its chest rises and falls, and something else. A caterpillar maybe?

No.

A leg. A bloody mouse leg, on the edge of the trap.

“They’ll chew off their limbs, and peel off their own skin just to get out, the ones that manage to are lucky enough to bleed out somewhere else. The ones stuck in the trap though?” She nods down at the creature you now refuse to look at. “They’ve got it the worst. Suffocation, dehydration, the ones who try to peel off and can’t, bleed out, stuck in place.”

With a sudden crunch, her boot slams down on the trap. You watch, slack jawed, as she peels it off the sole before tossing it in the bin in the corner.

“I’d take a quick death over either of those.”

“I think you should leave. Now.” You try to sound authoritative but your voice trembles too much to sound anything but afraid.

“I heard you got caught up in some FEDRA business yesterday.” She starts again but you’ve had enough.

“Tess.” You manage to have a bit of sterness this time in your tone but it doesn’t seem to affect her much.

“Fine. I’ll leave. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” You catch that sympathetic look one more time before she unlocks the door chain, twisting the doorknob before speaking one last time. “I noticed some of our inventory is missing, this is the only warning you’re gonna get about that. If you want shit like that just ask, I’m sure Joel would be more than happy to have another way to control you.” She doesn’t turn around when she says it, simply slamming the door and leaving. You have no clue what she’s talking about, but that isn’t the part of the conversation that sticks with you. All you can think about is that crunching sound.

So you avoided her after that, writing off her words as an act of jealousy.

Joel would never do anything to hurt you.

Of course you know better now. She was just like you, she had been in the glue trap herself when she tried to keep you from joining her, but you hadn’t listened, instead you’d fallen face first into Joel. And he wouldn't let you go without keeping some of you for himself.

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