#i do not know why my brain decided on something kinda sad but here we go

[moon-ttokki-x]

oh my god I’m stupid I requested 8, 9, and 39 for the SKZ prompt list but I forgot to ask for which member. Bangchan pretty please 🥺👉👈

hihi this took so long sorry >< . . . this is a lot more angsty than anticipated but i hope it works. i wrote it a little differently that i normally would, but here you go, love~~

stupidly perfect - (best friend!bang chan x reader)

pairing: bang chan x reader

summary: chan has never noticed how you feel for him, and one fateful evening, you let it all spill.

genre: angsty as hell, idol!au, reader lowkey enters their villain era, mentions of eating and drinking, overexcited maknaes, chan is kinda oblivious in this fic ngl, supportive felix, itzy mentions (yeji, ryujin, chaeryoung if that counts ig), this is super sad tbh

a/n: this took a while tbh . . . div by @ferretmilkshakezzz

⛓️ prompts: 8. "Take your time. I'm not going anywhere." / 9. "You can rest now." / 39. "I can't keep pretending I'm fine."

skz masterlist | skz prompt list

"Y/n, do you wanna come to that ramen restaurant with us later?" Jisung tugs at your arm, skipping alongside you. "We've been wanting to go for ages, and we all finally have schedules off tonight."

"Yeah, come with us," Jeongin adds. "It'll be fun."

The maknaes are tagging all around you as you walk down the hallway, trying your best to keep a hold on all the papers you're carrying. It's difficult when they're fluttering around you like overexcited birds.

You'd taken the job at JYPE around four months ago; it was decided after a very long period of doubting and worrying that it wouldn't work out after what happened at your last workplace. But your best friend, Chan, had been super supportive throughout the whole thing, even offering to help you move into your little apartment down the road from the company. He'd brought some of his friends to help with the heavy lifting, and from there, you'd pretty much been adopted into the group he'd formed and was the leader of.

Not like you had a choice in the first place.

But you didn't mind; you'd been worried partly because of the fact that you wouldn't have any friends when you'd moved to this part of Korea; Chan had managed to inadvertently solve that issue without trying. Now, the four excitable boys skipped and bickered around you as you set down the papers on your office desk. Wiping the minimal sweat from your forehead, you sighed and pried Seungmin away from the trinkets neatly lining your bookshelf.

"Who else is going?" You ask as Jisung whines about you coming to the restaurant for the umpteenth time.

Seungmin shrugs, interrupting his friend. "All of the members, you, and a couple of the girls from our dance crew."

You feel your heart sink just as your brain tells you to agree; it's been ages since you went out with the guys, and you honestly couldn't wait for a break. Work was always stressful around comeback season, but you'd all settled into the rhythm of it soon enough. Spending an evening out with eight of your best friends eating some soul food sounded like a good idea. A better idea than spending the evening on the couch in your apartment, eating ice cream in complete silence. Alone.

You bite your lip, anticipating. "Which of the dance crew girls?"

Jeongin shrugs from the sofa, swinging his legs over a disgusted Seungmin's lap as he lounges back. "The usuals; Yeji, Ryujin, Young-hee, and Chae. Why?"

"No reason," you say, turning back to the bookshelf to unnecessarily reorganise something, fiddling with the solid fabric spine of one of your books. "I'll let you know if I'm coming. Now, clear out."

Your last comment doesn't bother the maknaes at all; they know you don't like your office being messed up, so they call goodbyes, and Jisung sneakily pokes your side as he filters out the door. Felix, however, remains.

You try to ignore the sinking feeling in your chest and keep a neutral expression as you turn the dark-haired boy. He looks so different from his usual blonde-haired countenance; however, no less beautiful, and not for the first time do you hold yourself back from carding your fingers affectionately through his hair.

You exhale. "Do you need something, Lix?"

He sits down on your chair, swinging it backwards and leaning his forearms across the back. An air of resignation flows around him. "You're not coming tonight, are you?"

You bite your lip. "I'll see."

His voice is quiet. "You've said that since Chae started hanging around us. Is it because of her?"

You scoff, dropping a pen. "No. Why would you think that?"

Felix leans forward on the chair, nosy. "It is because of her, isn't it? Do you not like her? Is it because of Chan-hyung?"

You whip around to face him, exasperated. The explanation bubbles out of you like molten lava from a temperamental volcano. "Okay, fine! I just- I can't stand seeing her around him. They're so close, and they always seem so wrapped up in each other-"

You cut yourself off then, not wanting to say anything you might regret. Chae is nice enough; she's never done anything explicitly hurtful towards you, though you secretly have suspicions that she doesn't like you at all. But you stay quiet, trying to dissipate the rising frustration blooming in your chest.

Felix is quiet.

You know he knows; he's known for ages about your little crush on his leader. You were afraid to tell him, once upon a time; but all you got in response from the affectionate chicken boy was a hushed giggle and a gentle encouragement to tell Chan how you feel. He hasn't told anyone else about your feelings, and you know he would continue to keep his mouth shut. But you wish, even just a little, that someone else would notice and find a way to get Chae away from your best friend.

"No wonder she likes him too," you say quietly to yourself, sinking into your office chair.

And it isn't a wonder, really. Chan is sweet, and gentle, and kind, and so, so, supportive and admirable. There's not a single flaw about him, except perhaps his slight dislike towards himself and his irritation when it comes to those soft, dark curls that frame his perfect face so perfectly-

You shake yourself out of it. Felix is still looking at you quietly, his head tilted in thought.

"You do know," he says carefully, "that you're closer with Chan that Chae is?"

"But still," you groan. "He always seems so much happier around her, and he always only talks to her when you all go out-"

"How would you know?" Felix cries, throwing his hands up. "You're not even there half the time, and Chan only talks to her because you're not there for him to talk to. He has to settle for her because he's fed up of us, and he's not close with Yeji, Ryujin, or Young-hee."

You sigh and hop up onto the desk, swinging your legs over the side. "I just can't stand it, Lix. Seeing them together..."

His expression softens. "I know, Y/n, and I know how frustrated you get when they're all over each other, but you have to at least try. Come with us. If not for him, then for us. We miss you."

"I'm right here."

Felix sighs softly. "That's not what I meant."

You rub two fingers along the bridge of your nose, trying to think straight. You can't get the images out of your mind; Chan and Chae giggling to each other, her touching his arm, him reciprocating the affection... no one said it would hurt this bad when you watch your best friend fall for someone else.

No one said it would hurt this much when you realise that you're in love with said best friend either.

"I can't keep pretending I'm fine," you say, so softly you're not sure Felix hears it. But he does.

"Then don't pretend," he urges gently. "Get him to fall for you. You're halfway there already, I'm pretty sure. But it's not gonna happen if you're always at a distance from him."

He has a point, you think. But, being as stubborn as you are, there's still that nagging doubt in the back of your mind that Chan will never feel the same way that you do, whether you're with him or not-

"Y/n," Felix says, a little more firmly.

You know exactly what he's thinking; sighing, and then bending down to pick up the pen you dropped earlier, you slot it back into the holder on the desk.

"Fine," you say quietly, trying and failing to hide the tiny smile twitching at the corners of your mouth. "I'll come."

Felix lets out a whoop.

.

You pull your jacket a little closer around yourself as you head round the corner, the evening wind whipping your hair into a state of extreme disarray. Sighing and then spluttering as you pull strands of it out of your mouth and eyes, you duck around people and head to the restaurant, its warm, golden light drawing you in like a moth to a flame.

You're not late, so to speak; you spot the group sitting at a large corner booth with comfy seats, mingling and chattering, and you notice Felix immediately. His face lights up when he sees you, half with relief and half with something else you can't quite decipher. He makes to get up before you're almost tackled to the floor by Jisung and Jeongin, who are pretty much hollering at the top of their lungs.

Minho shushes them insistently as he tugs them off you, bowing before shoving both maknaes back into their seats.

"Y/n," Jeongin says happily. "We didn't think you'd come."

You chuckle awkwardly and settle into the spot next to Felix, trying not to look around for Chan like you always do. "Yeah, I needed a break. Besides, you two would have come for my throat if I turned the invitation down one more time."

"Damn right," Jisung interjects, all three of you dissolving into giggles.

You look around then; not everyone is here. Hyunjin and Yeji are still missing, both Hwangs late as per usual, and you know Changbin will come by a little later, having decided to work out before treating himself for the evening. You make a mental note to stick to your work ethic as well as he does, but it's interrupted by the familiar tone of someone speaking your name.

"You look nice, Y/n," Chan says from next to Felix, who is sitting in between both of you.

Chae is sitting next to Chan, you notice with some sadness and displeasure; her long, pinky-blonde hair is straight and neat, long acrylic nails coming up to brush strands of it off her perfect porcelain cheeks, flushed with the cold. At least, you hope it's the cold and not the effect of Chan's probably flirting before you arrived.

Despite the indignance rising in your stomach, you can't help but notice how Chan looks tonight; his hair is slightly damp from the chilly weather outside, the adorably messy strands of it curling against his temples and nape. His eyes are crescents as he gazes into yours, and you fight the urge to reach over and wipe the faint remainder of strawberry milk off the curve of his plush bottom lip.

You know exactly where he'd bought the little drink carton of it from; there's a vending machine just down the street, one that the boys always buy drinks from before eating out. It was their tradition, and one that you gladly partook in, that is before you became too shy to be around the boys.

Because of Chan and his stupid perfectness.

You suddenly come back down to earth and realise that Chan is still gazing at you; Chae is laughing obnoxiously loud in the background behind him, no doubt to recapture his attention, but all you can focus on is the fact that you're locking eyes with the most beautiful person on earth. And also the fact that you haven't replied to his little indirect compliment, so you just nod and turn back to the table to fiddle with the menu in front of you.

Felix exhales discreetly and you fight a grin, watching as he unpeels himself from the corner of the table. He'd been bending over it so you could lean back to talk to Chan, and he pokes you affectionately in the side as you thank him quietly, clearing your throat in an attempt to get rid of the flush painting your cheeks.

"Could've warned me about how pretty he looks," you mutter to Felix under your breath. He just chuckles and touches your knee as everyone begins to order.

The food arrives just as Hyunjin, Yeji, and Changbin make their dramatically late entrance; they clatter noisily into their seats, and you bump fists with Yeji just as everyone begins to dig in.

There's brief silence as everyone begins to fill their stomachs with soul food, and then the chatter eventually rises again as the members turn to each other to bicker and laugh. You almost snort a noodle out of your mouth as you watch Hyunjin take a hairclip out of his bag to clip his hair back, before realising it's not there. Seungmin, sitting next to him, runs his hand through the boy's kiwi-like hair before turning back to his ramen.

You almost start to enjoy yourself, but there's still that lingering tension that you feel rests in the air between you and Chan; if anyone else has noticed it, they're not saying anything. Felix, noticing your quietness, tries to fill the space between you with small talk and jokes, but it doesn't seem to help. Once or twice, he even brings Chan into the conversation in a bid to try and get you two to converse, but Chae interjects more and more frequently until you quietly tell Felix to stop.

You feel bad because of it; you know he's just trying to help, but it isn't working. And it's beginning to make you feel worse, the fact that it seems not even the dark-haired sunshine boy can get his leader to try and talk to you. And you realise, all of a sudden, that maybe it's not Chan that's the problem.

There are two possible reasons that Chan doesn't seem to want to talk to you; you thought maybe he would talk more with you tonight, considering it's been so long since you've been out with them, but you're crestfallen as you realise that not more than a few words have been exchanged between the two of you tonight.

And it strangely breaks your heart.

The other reason is that Chae might have been badmouthing you behind your back to Chan, or it could be because of the fact that Chan genuinely likes her. You're not sure, but that belief is confirmed as you look across to see Chan holding out his chopsticks to her, bringing a piece of tempura to her perfect, pink lips.

Watching in horror and completely forgetting about the cooling ramen in front of you, you watch as Chae accepts the tempura with a little giggle, batting her lashes at Chan as he reaches up to wipe a crumb off her lip. The sight is so equally disgusting and upsetting that you immediately stand up, moving out of the booth as tears blur your eyes.

"Where are you going?" Jisung calls after you, Felix looking up from his food.

"Bathroom," you call over your shoulder, your voice surprisingly strong considering the fact that tears and beginning to stream down your cheeks.

Not wanting to make a fuss or arouse suspicion from the group, you do actually head to the bathrooms, locking the cubicle door behind you and sinking down against the door. You couldn't care less if it's dirty right now, the only thought in your head the mental image of your best friend and Chae giggling and flirting all over each other, blissfully unaware of your misery.

It's not fair.

"Maybe it's me," you whisper to yourself, sniffling as you rip off a piece of toilet paper, scrubbing at your face. You feel so pathetic and unworthy; what kind of person hides out in the bathroom crying over a guy who probably doesn't even care about them?

Standing up and checking you have your phone and wallet, you sigh as you feel the weight of them in your pockets. Good. You can just leave without having to go back to the table. The last thing you want right now is to talk to anyone, or have to put up a fake cheerful front.

Heading to the back of the restaurant, the once-inviting golden lights now feeling like a spotlight, you emerge out into the street, the cold wind soothing the hot, sticky tear irritation on your cheeks. You head to the parking garage down the street and try to walk as quickly as you can past the opening of the ramen restaurant, lest any of the group notice you walking away.

And they don't, not least until you cross the street and head down the dimly light footpath.

Someone grabs your wrist suddenly and you cry out, whipping your head back so fast to see who it is you think you might have whiplash.

Chan is standing there, his hand solid and warm around your wrist, the wind ruffling his dark hair back from his bare face. You can see the glint of his silver earrings under the streetlights.

"Wait," he pants. "Where are you going?"

You can't fight the hot, wet tear rolling down your cheek and inwardly curse it for escaping. "Home."

"Why?" He asks, concern and worry painting his expression. "Are you not feeling well?"

You fight the urge to slap him; it wouldn't be fair, however much you want to do it. He just doesn't understand. He doesn't understand any of it. And you want nothing more to run into his arms and spill all your thoughts and feelings like you have so many times before, but you can't.

Not this time.

You can't tell Chan that you've loved him since who knows how long; that seeing him makes your heart feel lighter, the way a high schooler might feel seeing their crush in the sunny hallways. You can't tell him how many times you styled your hair to look a little like his, hoping the curls that make him look so handsome might make you a little more attractive too. You can't tell him how many times you ran late for schedules just because you took a detour to his studio to talk with him, even if it was just for a minute.

Even if all of it was a waste in the end. Because he likes someone else, and that someone else isn't you.

So you just shake your head as the tears come streaming down, and rip your wrist out of his grip before turning and walking away. The earth feels like it's shattering around you.

Or maybe that's just your heart.

But Chan doesn't give up; you hear his footsteps continue behind you, hurried and irregular, like he's trying to decide whether to let you go or make you stay.

"Y/n," he pants. "Wait, just- will you stop walking so fast? Please, wait, slow down- What's wrong?"

"Everything's wrong!" You cry out, turning to face him as you throw your hands up. A sob rips through your lungs, face contorting with the force of your tears. "Okay? Everything's wrong."

Chan is silent, one hand out in an unsteady attempt to calm you. "What are you talking about? You're worrying me."

You scoff and kick a stone across the footpath, harshly rubbing a hand across your cheekbone.

"Y/n, please," he pleads, his voice quieter. "Felix noticed you were gone for too long earlier, and I saw you walking out of the restaurant. Please, tell me what's wrong. You look so upset."

"Then stop looking."

He recoils, looking slightly hurt, before it's overtaken by a look of determination. You know that look; it either results in an all-nighter to finish a song track, an attempt to wrangle seven naughty kids, or a hard-to-have conversation. You know it's the last one.

"Please," he says, even quieter. "Tell me what's wrong. Take your time. I'm not going anywhere."

"It's you," you say, broken with utter resignation.

He takes a step forward. "What?"

"It's you," you repeat, looking away as another hysterical sob brings the wind inside your body. It's sharp and biting, and it brings back some of your courage. But only some.

You raise your eyes to look at him. Maybe this is the last conversation you'll have with Chan, before he decides he doesn't want to be around someone who's in a one-way love story with him. Even if that person is his best friend.

"You don't realise, do you?" You whisper brokenly. "You never realised I was in love with you, Chan. But that's just who you are. You may be kind and compassionate and intuitive, but you never realised why I do what I do, or why I act the way I act around you."

His face is contorted in utter disbelief; whether it's from shock or disgust, you don't want to know.

"I realised around the time you helped me move in," you continue. Might as well get all of it out now. "I looked at you differently after a while. I didn't see my best friend anymore. I saw someone else, someone stronger and more clever and more dedicated and more perfect and flawless. And it was strange, because I realised that you changed so much. Maybe I changed too, but it was different seeing you walking around at the company and going about your schedules, because I felt different about it all. I felt different about you. And I couldn't let it go, not least when we actually talked. I used to be late for most of my meetings and events because I would take detours to see you. Some days I would think about canceling my schedules just so I could be around you more.

"And I love the boys, I do, Chan. So much. But I have to admit, I wouldn't be around them half as much if you weren't there. I felt so drawn to you, not like the way I did when we were friends. I figured that if I didn't want to lose you, I would have to discipline myself. So I did.

"I threw myself into my work; I gave myself so much to do, partially to distract myself, partially to use work as an excuse whenever I was invited out, like tonight. Just because I knew you would be there, and I didn't want to end up spilling it all to you, because I knew it would ruin everything between us. Forever.

"And when Chae started hanging around us, I didn't mind at first; I sort of liked her. But I started hating her because of how close she would get to you, how much you two would secretly talk between yourselves, and it made me upset. So I ended up spending much more time by myself so that I would be able to forget she existed. So that I could forget that she ever entered the picture, and that it was just me and my secret that I kept from you. For so long, Chan. You have no idea how much I had to hold myself back from you.

"Did you assume that I never wanted to go out with you guys? That I never wanted to buy drinks from that vending machine the members always go to before eating out, or that I didn't want to spend time with you? Because I did, Chan. But I forced myself not to, because I couldn't bear to see you, and most of the time I didn't know if Chae was going to be there. I told myself I wasn't going to sit there and watch you be with her, not while I felt so invisible and unseen around you.

"Let me tell you something, Chan," you choke through sobs at him, pointing a finger at his chest as though it were a gun. "Every time Jisung or Jeongin or one of the boys invited me out, I did actually show up. Even if you never saw me. I would watch from a distance to see if Chae was with you; if she was, I would turn around and leave, and go home. If not, I would smile from around the corner as the maknaes begged you for money to buy drinks from that vending machine. And then I would turn around and go home anyway.

"I know every single one of their preferences; even if you didn't know I was there to observe them bickering and choosing, faces lit by streetlight. I would go around to the vending machines at the company and randomly buy their favourites for them, even if you didn't know how I knew. I would buy them for you too, and debate leaving a little note for you telling you how I felt alongside it, and I never did.

"Because, despite all of that, it was all a waste," you snap at him. You're not sure why you're angry; you suppose it's the result of feeling unheard for so long. "It was a waste, Chan. Because you never even noticed how I felt. So don't come chasing after me in the night like this like you care, because it was Felix who told you to come after me, Felix who noticed I had been gone for too long, not you of your own accord. And don't look worried or concerned either, because I've told you what's wrong, Chan, just as you asked. You can rest now."

You can barely see him through the blur of your tears.

"Y/n," he whispers, broken as you feel. "I'm so sorry."

"I don't care," you cry out at him, turning and storming in the other direction. And this time, he doesn't follow, still standing under the streetlight with his hand out, though you're not there to take it.

You sob bitterly as you almost flee around the corner, breaking out into a full-on run, like sprinting can fix the problem, fix your heart and your tears. It doesn't, however, and you feel worse as you bolt pass the crossing light, not caring about its colour. Later you will realise that running with blurry vision and a hysterical, heartbroken mindset was not the wisest idea.

You don't see the car speeding towards you until it's too late.

a/n: *laughs in writer*

[freedomscall]

@totyranny | memes

‘it always comes down to this, doesn’t it? to us.’

❝ TO US. ❞

Their relationship, or perhaps the now lack there of one. He had thought Enver dead, after all, and now in the exhuming of it…

❝ You don't regret it, do you? ❞ Anders wonders. There is a disquiet in him that lingers, when he thinks upon it. How dependent at times Enver was upon him in Kirkwall, as a patient. As a friend. As a partner. He is likely close to ten years the man's elder, a fact irrelevant now, BUT…

❝ I can understand if you might. I was a wreck, back then. ❞ An emotionally stunted wreck searching for scraps of validation, of a more understanding camaraderie than just what Hawke's crew offered. Desperate and yearning and later utterly besotted by the younger man.

[sasheemo]

C'è sempre una prima volta (there is a first time for everything)

Pairing: Melissa Schemmenti x Butch!Reader

Summary: You and Melissa have been together for almost a year and she wants to try something new in bed, you’re just taken aback by her request.

Tags: One-Shot, Established Relationship, Strap-Ons (Rr), Frist Strap-On Experience (Rr), Smut with Fluff, Sexual Stereotypes, Mommy Kink and Praise Kink if you squint until your eyes hurt

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: this was originally posted on 13.05.24 (AO3 only), but since I'm putting together a Masterlist, I decided to post it here too so that I could include it. This was the first fic (or anything really) I ever wrote , also english is not my native language so sorry for any mistakes you might encounter. I added some Italian here and there in the fic and you will find the translations in brackets.

MASTERLIST

Read on AO3

You had just finished giving your beautiful girlfriend her second orgasm of the night when she looked at your straight in the eyes asking if this time she could use the strap on you.

You were both lying on your bed and she was still panting and high from her orgasm, but she seemed pretty serious about her question. 

Noticing your surprised - and kinda worried - expression, Melissa asked you what was wrong.

“No no, nothing! Just to be clear, I’m not saying no … it’s just that nobody ever asked me something like that. I honestly never thought somebody would even want to have sex with me with a strap”

“Ma cosa stai dicendo?! (What are you even saying?!) Why would you think that?” 

“Well, I mean, usually butches are seen as tops and I guess in my case that is what was always expected from me in a relationship. When I say that nobody ever asked something like that to me I mean it. I always felt like it was implied that if someone was supposed to use the strap in bed…that would be me. And nobody actually ever behaved differently, proved it wrong or cared enough to talk about it I guess…” you replied plainly but with a hint of hurt in your voice

Melissa looked at you with an expression you couldn’t quite decipher. Was it anger? Was it disappointment? Was it sadness? “Hon, I never expected anything from you since the day we met. It’s not about other people’s expectations, what you think you owe them, it’s about what you want. As for me, I just want you. All of you without any stereotype, expectation or limitation. Fuck everyone else and their opinions!”. You look at her lovingly, knowing she is telling the truth as you never felt any kind of pressure from her, from day one you could always be your truest self with her. 

You prop your head forward looking for her lips, but you notice that she doesn’t move and lets you come to her. Once you’re an inch away you feel her sultry voice brushing your lips “Now, do you want me to fuck you senseless with that strap or not?”

You instantly switch your gaze from her mouth to her eyes just to find two piercing emerald pools looking straight into your soul. That look alone could have you coming in seconds. Every. Single. Time. 

“Yes please.” a whisper comes out of your mouth as you lower your gaze

“Good girl. Now, we are going to start slowly and if I hurt you, if you’re uncomfortable or if at any point you change your mind, just let me know, ok? Guardami (look at me) and tell me you understand.” 

You finally look back at her and your stomach just drops. There she is, fully naked lying next to you. This gorgeous, fierce, stern, dominating and yet so reassuring woman. “I do, I understand.”

On that note she gets up without saying a word, takes the strap that had been sitting next to you on the bed for the past minutes, and proceeds to put it on. Still lying in bed you look at her. You have to admit the sight was just mouth-watering. It wasn’t the strap, it was Melissa wearing it and knowing she was about to fuck your brains out with it.

Once she’s done she hops on the bed placing herself between your legs, before starting to caress your sides, chest and abdomen with her hands. You ease into her touch as you start to feel her nails scarping down your hips and upper thighs. You whimper as moans start escaping your lips.

“That’s it baby, rilassati (just relax) and let me make you feel good.” with that she pushes your legs a bit more apart, while tracing your inner thighs with her nails. 

You start to feel that familiar buildup in your lower abdomen and wetness pooling between your legs. 

“Mel, touch me please.” comes out of your lips almost as whisper

“I am touching you” her eyes snap up at you and a familiar electricity shots through your body when you recognize that look on your girlfriend’s face.

You’re enjoying this, but so is she. Probably even more than you right now. Teasing you and filling you up with anticipation. 

“Mmm, I-I need you inside of me Mel…”

“How badly?” She asks in the sultriest voice while her fingers run up your thighs and down your hips stopping before reaching where you need her the most. 

You cry out at her stopping and move your hips involuntarily. “So bad Mel, please, just ple-ahh!” Air gets sucked in your throat when you feel her fingers sliding through your folds. 

“I’m afraid we’ll have to change the sheets once I’m done with you. You’re dripping now e non ho nemmeno iniziato (and I barely even started).” 

You knew she was probably right but there was nothing you could do about it. She was just incredibly hot and you melted under her touch every single time. 

You didn’t even have time to form your thought about what she just said as you felt two fingers sliding into you.

“Oh my God Mel fuckkk” you screamed feeling how easily her fingers entered you. Melissa started moving them at an excruciatingly slow pace. As if you needed any time to adjust given how wet you were, she was just teasing. 

Seeing how desperate you were, starting to move your hips to get more friction, your girlfriend got the hint and picked up her pace. Wet sounds and moans filling the room as her pace fastened more and more. 

You were already getting close when you suddenly felt Melissa slipping her fingers out of you. Crying at the loss you shot her a pouty frustrated look, just to see her getting up on her knees and centering herself  between your legs.

You started to internally panic a little bit. You were aroused as fuck but this was still something new for you. As if reading your mind, your girlfriend looked at you. Her glance holding a warmth that would otherwise be out of character in a not so new situation. You gave her a silent nod and bit your bottom lip in anticipation, worry and arousal. 

Just a few seconds later you felt the tip of her cock sliding through your folds, stopping just above your clit. You moan, still biting your lip,  and your hips start moving again. 

She slides her cock up and down your pussy a few times to spread your wetness around and on her cock, before finally aligning herself to your entrance. You prop yourself up on your elbows just in time to see the tip disappear between your folds. 

“Am I hurting you baby?” Melissa checks in running her left hand across your thigh.

“No, please keep going Mel, I need more.” you cry out almost ashamed at your neediness. Melissa’s worried expression turning into a satisfied and mischievous one. 

In one swift motion she fills you up completely. You are surprised at how this is not hurting at all, you truly are that wet for her. Not that you doubted it. 

With her eyes fixated on yours, Melissa starts moving. Her hands are on your hips as she pulls out almost completely before sliding back in. She does that a few times before picking up her pace and setting a nice rythm, which is unfortunately not enough for you at the moment. 

“Fuck Mel, more! Fuck me harder baby please!” you cry out trying to reach for her thighs, your nails scraping the sheets. 

You whimper and moan at the sudden loss when a few seconds later you don’t feel her cock inside of you anymore. You look at her just in time to see drops of saliva dripping down her lips and feel them landing on your clit.

You feel every organ you have dropping, not just your stomach. “M-Melissa did you just-“

“Spit on your pretty cunt? Yes I did, why?”

“It-it’s just s-” that’s how little you manage to say between moans before she starts spreading it across your pussy with her cock. 

“It’s just so what baby?” She’s looking at you with a lustful grin and deep dark eyes. She bites her bottom lip waiting for your answer while she keeps sliding her cock over your wet pussy. 

“It’s just so hot.” you moan starting to move your hips again . “Please Mel, fuck me.” you’re basically crying out now and her eyes turn even darker. 

Without you even realizing, she suddenly slams her cock back into you, full lenght sliding in even more easily than before. She starts pounding you at a deliciously atrocious rythm. The sound of her hips colliding with your inner thighs fills the room and makes you both wetter. 

“You like feeling me deep inside you, filling you up? Mh?” her voice cuts through your bliss and you just close your eyes to try and not come on the spot. 

“Mmm fuck … fuck … yes! Yes I do, please don’t stop!” 

“I want you to look at me, open your eyes. Now.” The emphasis she puts on that last word made you quiver and you instantly opened your eyes. 

You couldn’t avoid looking down at where her cock was disappearing inside of you and coming out glistening, just to be slammed back in. Again and again. 

The rythm she was keeping, the sounds echoing through the room, her beautiful boobs bouncing at her every movement and her eyes never leaving yours. Everything was building up inside of you and you felt so close. 

Your moans and your breathing were frantic now. One hand gripping the sheets and the other gripping the strap’s leather belt across one of Melissa’s hips. 

She knew you were close as she bent forward to kiss you hard. It was a very sloppy kiss, tongues swirling in between moans and pantings. She placed her hands on both sides of your head with her perfectly sharp white nails gripping the sheets. You scratched down her back with both hands making her arch and hit a spot inside of you you didn’t even know existed. 

She was looking down at you, red curls falling all around you as you placed both your hands on her hips gripping the leather harness so tight “I-I think … I’m going to.. c-come” you cried out looking at her, pleading with your eyes.

Her hips were on autopilot, pounding into you with an animalistic rythm. “Ask nicely bimba (baby girl).” she whispered with a smirk plastered on her lips.

At this point you just couldn’t talk anymore. You felt so full and intoxicated by everything she was doing to you. You knew you couldn’t come without her permission though. So you took one last glance at her cock going in and out of you so quickly “Mel please PLEASE let come on you cock, please I can’t take it anymore!” was the pathetic cry that managed to escape your lips. 

She smiles down at you before swinging her hair to one side with a swift motion of her head, just a second before you feel her right arm slipping between your bodies. Her hand reaches  your clit while she starts thrusting into you even harder. You weren’t excepting that, you didn’t think for one split second her rythm could actually increase even more than it had. 

Her fingers start drawing fast circles on your clit and your legs start to shake. “Come for mama pretty girl.” with that permission you just moan loudly and let go. You see black and feel your pussy clenching around Melissa’s cock as one of the most powerful orgasms you ever experienced rushes through you. 

Yet she doesn’t stop. She gradually reduced her thrusting rythm to accompany you down your high. Not stopping even when you reopen your eyes, flustered and panting. Now going deadly slow, she starts feather kissing your face before connecting your lips in a long passionate kiss. Her movements now come to a stop but you both moan loudly into the kiss as her cock is still inside of you. 

“I’m going to pull out now, please relax for me baby, you did so good.” She says before giving you a kiss on the cheek, lifting herself up and pulling her cock out of you. She removes the harness and places everything at the end of the bed before coming to lie down next to you. 

She perks up on her left elbow and starts tracing figures on your abdomen with her right hand. Sharp nails causing you to have goosebumps all over. You turn to place your left hand behind her neck, pulling her into a loving kiss. You scarpe the back of her head, slightly pulling on messy red curls, while you kiss her passionately hoping all the love you feel for her will be felt through that kiss. 

She kisses you back with the same intensity, making you feel all the love in this world. You part after a while because you smiled into the kiss and Melissa is now looking at you with an amused and puzzled expression. So you also perk up on your elbow, to be directly in front of her and look her straight in the eyes. 

“I never thought I’d let anyone have me like that, let alone enjoy it as much as I did. Thank you for wanting to try this with me. You’re the only person I’ve ever trusted enough or wanted to try this with.” 

Taken aback by your words, her mouth hangs slightly open for a few seconds. Her eyes light up with tenderness and emotions most people wouldn’t imagine Melissa capable of showing. 

“Thank you for trusting me with this and for allowing me to see you like that. You’re incredibly beautiful amore mio (my love).” Melissa says before closing the few inches separating your mouths. And in that kiss you both feel how special your love is. 

You stay a bit like that, lying naked with your lips on her forehead and her face resting on your chest. Bodies intertwined as you slowly drift into sleep grateful for the amazing girlfriend life put on your path. 

[hazbinwhoree]

Hiya ! Let me tell you first that I love your writings about Adam ! Our angel deserves some attention

I couldn't help but notice that there is a lack of hurt/comfort Adam fics 😠

Sooo I've been thinking (read this with Charlie's voice from the pilot) what about an Adam x reader arranged marriage fic ?

Like Adam is given a new wife from Heaven, he treats her really badly at the beginning but then kinda develops a soft spot for her ? Ending with the fluffiest softest smut you can make ?

Do we have a deal ? 😈

I Wanna Be Yours

Adam supposed he should be grateful, he wasn’t alone anymore, but Lilith and Eve had fucked him up so badly that he wanted nothing to do with his third wife. If he got too close, he’d fall in love, and then she’d leave him. So Adam did the opposite of getting close. He got mean.

(Name) was born yesterday. Created by God to be Adam’s third companion. She was born with pertinent information already in her brain, memories, and free will. Free will, and she still wanted nothing more than to be Adam’s wife.

He was so lonely, but he’d never admit it.

At first, Adam was just cold to her. But when that didn’t deter (Name) from trying to get close to him, he grew mean.

“I don’t want you, bitch!”

“Leave me the fuck alone!”

“Piss off, I hate looking at you.”

It started wearing (Name) down. It hurt, he hurt her, constantly. She was growing to dislike him. She wished she could hate him, but she just couldn’t. It didn’t help that they lived together, though Adam had banished her to the guest room, not willing to share his king size bed.

One day, (Name) gave up. She decided she was done being verbally abused as she followed Adam around like a lovesick puppy. So that day, she didn’t follow Adam. She didn’t leave her house. In fact, she didn’t even leave her bed.

To Adam’s dismay, he was disappointed and slightly concerned when (Name) didn’t show up that day. She always followed him around. All day, every day. Adam hadn’t realized how comfortable he got with it.

When he came home that day, he peaked into her bedroom, finding her asleep. His brow furrowed, wondering why she hadn’t followed him today. Adam was going to ask, but (Name) didn’t wake up until morning.

By day four, after three days of cold silence from (Name), and her still not following him, Adam decided to go home early. He got home around noon to catch (Name) off guard, he was never home around noon.

He snuck into the house but didn’t see her anywhere downstairs. He climbed upstairs and peered into (Name)’s bedroom. Once again, that’s where he found her, still in bed.

“Okay, what the fuck,” he asked loudly, barging into her room.

(Name) jumped. When she registered Adam, she scowled. “Don’t scowl at me, bitch,” Adam spat. Something died in (Name)’s eyes and she just looked tired and sad. Adam softened.

“...Sorry.”

That got (Name)’s attention. Adam had never, ever said sorry to her before.

Adam came over and sat on the edge of the bed. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “What’s wrong? What’s wrong?” (Name) was appalled. “I’ll fucking tell you what’s wrong.” She sat up.

“I was created for the sole purpose of being your wife so that you would no longer be alone. That is my entire purpose, my whole identity. And you hate me. You’re literally all I have in life and you want nothing to do with me. You weren’t even just cold, you were mean. Nasty. I wish I hated you. But I still love you, and that fucking hurts.”

Adam was quiet for once in his life. He had never really thought about the consequences of his actions. He hadn’t seen (Name) so much as person as he did an annoyance that followed him around. Now here she was, a person. A being with thoughts and feelings. A being he’d been abusing.

He reached a gentle hand towards her and she recoiled. Adam winced. “I’m sorry,” he admitted. “I really am. I thought… if I got too close, you would leave me like Lilith and Eve did.” (Name) blinked at him. “I know that’s a shitty excuse,” Adam mumbled. “I wish I could tell you how sorry I am. I was a fucking coward, in trying to prevent myself from being lonely I made you lonely.” “You did more than that,” (Name) scoffed.

Adam looked ashamed. “Yeah��� I’m so sorry. I want to start over. If… if you want that. I understand if you’re done with me, I definitely deserve it.”

(Name) contemplated for a moment. “We can start over,” (Name) said eventually. “But we start slow. I don’t like or trust you right now.”

Adam nodded eagerly. “That’s fair. (Name)?”

“Yeah?”

“Just start coming with me when I go about my day again.”

(Name) did, and over the next two weeks she would accompany Adam everywhere, not follow, because he kept his stride slow so that she could keep up. He talked to her, asked questions about her, got to know her. She quickly became a soft spot for him. It took a lot to not sabotage it out of fear, but Adam managed.

Two months in, and they’d kindled a relationship so well that they had sexual tension. They had yet to act on it, neither realizing that the other wanted it as much as them.

But this was the longest Adam had gone without sex in a long time, and with his high sex drive, it was incredibly difficult. It wasn’t much longer before he couldn’t contain himself anymore. He burst into her room randomly and announced, “I think I love you and I want to fuck you.”

(Name) put down her phone, wearing nothing but short shorts and a tank top, ready for bed. “I think I love you too, and I would very much like you to fuck me,” (Name) replied after a beat of silence.

Adam wasted no time, coming up to her bedside and picking her up bridal-style. “Adam, what–” “You’ve had your own room long enough. It’s time we share a bed. And what better way to consecrate it?” He smirked.

(Name) smiled, holding onto his neck. When they entered Adam’s room, he gently laid her down on his bed. He was going to take his time with this, he’d waited for so long he was going to savor every second.

He shed his mask, and (Name) gasped. She’d never seen him without his mask before. Adam looked slightly unsure of himself. “Kiss me,” (Name) breathed. Adam stood between her legs and bent over the bed to press his lips to hers sweetly. She ran her fingers through his hair.

“You’re so pretty,” she whispered when he pulled back. Adam wanted to make a cocky comment, but decided against it for the sake of the moment. He pulled his shirt off, then undid his belt, kicking off his pants. Then he gently pulled (Name)’s tank top over her head, thrilled to finally see her bare rack.

But before he went for her chest, he pulled her shorts down and off. When they were both in their underwear, Adam picked (Name) up and threw her further on the bed. Then he climbed onto the bed and on top of her.

He connected their lips while his hands groped her chest. His tongue invaded her mouth and (Name) moaned. Adam kissed down her neck, her chest, until her reached her left tit, and latched on with his mouth. (Name) gasped as he sucked on her nipple, his hand reaching to roll her other nipple between his forefinger and thumb. (Name)’s fingers tangled in Adam’s hair.

He pulled off with a wet pop and moved to the other breast, taking it into his mouth as well. (Name) hummed sounds of affirmation as Adam gave her chest attention, sighing when he pulled back. Adam’s hand slid down her stomach and inbetween her legs and (Name) bit her lip. When Adam’s hand slipped under her panties and his fingers brushed against (Name)’s wet folds, she moaned. “You’re so wet,” Adam said lowly in her ear. “All for me.”

He entered two fingers inside of her, curling them. (Name)’s back arched a little bit. Adam added a third rather quickly, realizing briefly that her body had been made to fit with his perfectly. The thought almost made Adam sentimental.

Because of this fact he didn’t spend long fingering her. He was impatient, and he didn’t have to. She was already ready for him. He pulled her panties down and off before kneeling back to tug his boxers down. He shed those too and pressed their naked bodies together.

“I love you,” he said quietly, kissing her lips. “I’ll forever be sorry for how I was before. Let me make it up to you~”

(Name) whimpered when she felt his dick pressing at her entrance. Adam grabbed both of her hands in his, pinning them next to her head and intertwining their fingers. “Are you ready?” he asked, not sure how much longer he could wait.

(Name) nodded vigorously. Adam gently pushed his hips forward, slowly sinking into her heat. He groaned, his self-restraint waning. He bottomed out with a heavy sigh. “I love you,” he repeated. “Fuck. You're so tight.”

(Name) couldn’t reply, adjusting to Adam’s size. Once she did, she moved her hips a little bit. “Move,” she begged. Adam didn’t need to be asked twice. He slowly began to roll his hips, thrusting in and out slowly and sensually. It felt good, but it wasn’t enough, so it didn’t last long.

Adam’s hips picked up in pace and intensity. (Name) moaned everytime he drove into her. It was Adam’s new favorite sound. They were in missionary, Adam’s favorite position because he could stare at (Name) while they made love. He could drink in every little expression of pleasure on her pretty face.

(Name) squeezed the life out of Adam’s hands. Adam leaned down to suck love marks onto (Name)’s neck. (Name) threw her head back, giving him easier access while he marked her as his.

When he pulled back, he let go of one of (Name)’s hands, sneaking his now free hand down between them to rub circles around her clit with a slender finger. He relished in the look of pleasure (Name) made, jaw dropping and eyes rolling back. His hips didn’t lose their steady pace until (Name) moaned, “Faster!”

Adam began slamming into her, and with (Name)’s free hand, she clawed at his back. Every thrust hit deep and Adam timed pressure on her clit with every thrust. “Adam,” (Name) gasped. “I’m– nngh~ I’m close.”

“Fuck, me too,” Adam panted. He kept his pace steady, both of their orgasms steadily growing. (Name)’s moans became higher pitched. Adam’s groans grew more frequent.

Eventually, they were on the precipice together, calling out one another’s names as they climaxed. Adam came buried deep inside of her, and (Name) came on his dick. They froze for a moment afterwards, each trying to catch their breath. As they panted, coming down, Adam dropped his forehead against (Name)’s, staring deeply into her eyes. Watching her orgasm had made his euphoric. He kissed her softly, in contrast to the pace they’d just been going at.

“I love you,” (Name) said quietly.

Adam pulled out, collapsing on the bed next to her. “I love you too, (Name).”

[eddiewithcat]

losing my mind and need everyone to see it so here it is

the theory that buck wasn't telling the full truth about why him and natalia broke up has been itching my brain for days now (since the episode aired lol not that long but anyway)

they're just getting back from a call, all piling into the engine truck and idk what the call was about but it's some silly couple that did something silly ok (everyone is fine, it just helps prompt the conversation) and this causes chim and hen's memory to jog, and so they ask buck like, "oh hey, how are things going with natalia? you haven't talked about her in a while" and eddie just kinda looks over at them, confused because he definitely would've thought that buck would've told them.. so why didn't he?

of course, buck catches his gaze and immediately looks away, back towards hen and chim, "uh w- we broke up, actually" and this prompts them to ask why they broke up, buck gives him a similar story to what he told eddie, although more vague and seems less genuine compared to when he first told him.

hen, being the smart bff who is also concerned, ofc decides to corner buck when they get back to the station and asks him why she broke up with him (bc cmon.. of course she knows he didnt break up with her, it was the other way around. and chim too but he also knows not to push sometimes / is scared to push the Wrong button) and so buck spills, saying something along the lines of, "she thinks i'm in love with someone else" looking off in the direction of where eddie, ravi and chim are downstairs in the weight room, just chillin' idk doin' whatever the fuck firefighters do LOL

hen catches where his eyes have drifted, and asks so softly, to not scare him off, "do you think she might be right?" and in that moment you can hear eddie's laughter floating from downstairs towards where they are in the little kitchen area. buck has a sort of sad, heartbroken smile on his face as he says "yeah, yeah i do"

and scene

anyway i am crying if anyone would like to join me pls do so <3

[queer-overwatch]

Hi!! Could I request maybe a Venture x Reader (Any pronouns will do) on like a museum date? I want Venture to yap.Please and Thank you. ( Also bless the both of you I needed more Venture content I was tweaking without them)

Venture at a Museum!

Aaa ty sm for the request!!! I love that idea so much- they are such a yapper I love them <3 also your welcome hehe, had to take thing into our own hands >:3 (also bc u didn't request a specific format (like hcs or oneshot) i just did a short lil oneshot, hope thats okay!) -Frisk

══════ஜ▲ஜ══════

"Look, look- they have a whole section on rocks! Kinda basic selection but it's still rocks!"

You never thought you'd be able to learn so much about rocks in one day, but it seemed like Venture had made it their personal mission to force as much information into your brain as possible. You didn't mind, really! It was always nice listening to them rant about all the cool stuff they found while walking around the museum you'd planned to bring them to, but it was a lot to take in at once.

"Augh, I love sedimentary rocks- they're my favorite! 'cuz sometimes they have like, little fossils in them and I'm like, "Woah! A cool thing in another cool thing!" and it's awesome! One time I found a trilobite fossil in a rock, it was so cool! I wonder if they have any here- that'd be so amazing! I wonder what they taste like-"

After spilling every single fact they could think of about the rocks on display, Venture drags you to a section of the museum dedicated to Egyptian history, though they mostly just seemed interested in the architecture of the pyramids. You really did try to listen, but you mostly just caught the gist of their long, long, long explanations- something about a Mastaba being like a sort of prototype to pyramids? You were just happy to see them so excited, even if you didn't quite understand what they were so hyped about.

"Oh, if only that British lady could go back to ancient Egypt and get the architects of their time to answer my questions! I'd give anything to be able to do that!" Sensing the slight disappointment creeping up on them, you decide to try and bring Venture elsewhere, not wanting them to spend any energy on being upset by what they can't do.

"Why don't we go look at the dinosaur fossils? I'm sure there's some mistakes in the descriptions that you can correct!" You take their hand, gently pulling them away from the long essay-like description of images of the pyramids that they were reading. Incising them with promises of being able to show off their intensive knowledge of dinosaur fossils, or fossils in general.

Venture perked up almost immediately, following behind you as they ready themselves to go on and on about their favorite dinosaur ever, the Deinocheirus! You tried to ask why it was their favorite ones, and all they said was something about it being "them fr fr" and having rocks in its stomach. You weren't too keen on questioning that one.

They take a large step so they're walking next to you, swinging your arms as you walk, "It's always been one of my biggest goals to find a dinosaur fossil! I really hope I do one day, if I did I could die happy!"

"Please don't die- I would be so sad if you died." You squeeze their hand, voice light as you joke with them.

"Aw but I wanna! I wanna be a fossil for future people like me to discover! When I do die I wanna be buried with a bunch of cool stuff! Maybe mess around with my bones a little, just to throw 'em off!" As you finally reach the fossil exhibits, they abandon you to run off and check over every. single. fossil. which while endearing, gave you a lot of running to do in an attempt to catch up.

"Finally! For once a museum that gets everything right! Well, everything as far as we know-" They stand next to one of the larger fossils, not anything you recognized as you take your place next to them, catching your breath.

"Wow, how impressive-" you wheeze, standing up straight and stretching out your legs as you link arms with Venture, trying to stop them from running off on you again.

They laugh, grabbing you by the shoulder and dragging you in the tightest hug you've ever received.

"Thank you, so, so, so much for planning this. And for listening to me talk about rocks so much, and for caring about me- and a million other things! I can't even remember everything you've done for me, but I know its a lot!" They let you go, still holding you by the shoulders, the biggest smile you've ever seen on a person splayed across their face.

"Of course-! I love spending time with you, you're well aware of that, silly." You laugh, grabbing their wrists and taking their hands off your shoulders, holding their hands as you admire the glow of excitement on their face.

"Welllll since you clearly don't mind, can we go to this other museum I found online next week?! I heard they have an area where you get to watch an hour long video on the story of Julius Caesar!"

[queen0fm0nsterz]

Kinda random, but if the characters are supposed to abstract while the series is running, I believe Kinger or will be last, or won't and will try to protect the others.

He is a king after all, the king is the last piece to be captured in chess. I think every character kinda fits a chess piece, but I don't have enough brain power to assign everyone.

I really enjoy this idea in a vacuum, but I think that in the context of the plot as we know it now it might be a bit of a reach. We will have to wait and see. However I am very happy you compared Kinger to the actual king in chess because I think his behaviour somewhat reflects what a king in a game of chess actually does.

((For those who don't know: I'm an aspiring chess nerd, and I have been learning how to play the game to the best of my abilities. Prepare for an infodump.))

A king in chess is the most important piece of the board when it comes to protection: losing your king means checkmate, a.k.a losing the game. At the beginning of the game, the king is surrounded by the rest of the chess pieces which act as his defensors. This reminded me a bit of how Kinger tries to constantly keep himself in a pillow fort in an attempt to self preservate.

When it comes to moves, the king is a bit peculiar. In spite of being so important, the king can only move a single square per turn; however, unlike most other pieces, it can move in all directions. Ironically, it has the same mobility of a pawn, but the ability to go everywhere of the queen.

Kinger himself is a bit of a nutcase. He is wildly unpredicatble (can move on all directions), sprewing out words of genius and genuinely insightful information while also acting completely nonsensical. Two sides of a guy... but the thing here is that he rarely takes action himself. The only instance of him truly deciding to do something besides keeping his fort was when he played rock paper scissors with Gangle. He moves with... caution is not the right words as I doubt he even is able of being cautios, but that's the sentiment; he can only "move" once, so he has to make it count.

An interesting detail about the chess piece is that it usually remains unmoved until the chess game enters its endgame stage. That would be when few pieces are on the board. Looking at the members of the current gang vs the many previous players seen on the crossed out doors, we can infer that at this current moment in time in the timeline the metaphorical endgame is taking place right now. And now, according to Jax, is when Kinger decides to start spewing out information about the digital world which he had never disclosed before. We don't know for certain if it was even a conscious decision, but it's certainly peculiar.

Concluding this with a bit of a sad thought: we all know that between those who have (presumably) Abstracted, there was another chess character by the name of "Queenie".

Due to her name and appearence, many have assumed that she and Kinger were formerly in close ties with one another possibly even prior to them entering the Digital Circus.

I think this headcanon has merit: they share a theme, appearence and the title of royalty, so why not assume a relation between the two? It'd be terribly sweet and tragic considering how she ends up...

However, I must point out something here that I haven't seen anyone bring up: Queenie is the black queen. Kinger is the white king. On the chessboard, they would be enemies, playing on opposite sides. With this in mind, I remember that the creator of the series said that there won't be any canonical ships in the show; with this knowledge, let's take this a step forward... what if the reason there won't be any relationship from an in-universe stand point is because the circus itself does not allow any deep interpersonal relationships?

Even if they were together prior to getting into the circus, Kinger and Queenie can't be together -- and this is reflected on their designs: king and queen on opposing teams.

And the Queen is a very active piece on the chessboard. I have no doubt that Queenie tried to figure out a way to escape and ended up Abstracted because of it. Mh... Since the queen is usually the one who targets the opposing king due to how powerful she is in chess... I wonder if Kinger got attacked by her when she abstracted, leaving him scarred - not so much physically, but definitely mentally.

[imjustsomebodyelse]

What headcannons do you have about Porco and pieck’s relationship?? Anything sad? Anything sweet? Anything spicy?

-🌻

OMG ANON, THIS IS SUCH A COMPLEX AND INTRIGUING QUESTION, you got my brain working for good!

Okay, so, one thing you got to know before I start my yapping is that I love versatility.

I don’t really have a strict version on how I see pkpk starting out, I still love to discover new options, even after three years, and love to imagine how their personalities would react to each other in different circumstances.

However, since you asked me about specific headcanons, here is a list of things that are usually set for me and rarely change, no matter which scenario/AU I’m thinking of:

Pieck never considered Porco dying before she does an actual possibility. Every possible future she imagined them both to have would end up with her leaving him alone, not the other way around. Usually this is why she always keeps some distance to him to some extent because she does not want him to spend the last five to seven years of his life grieving her. That’s why his death also hits her extremely hard and unprepared.

It’s a cliche but I love to think of Porco as the guy who is always grumpy towards everyone, with Pieck being the only exception. Bonus if she knows/has noticed but decided not to mention it so he doesn’t stop with it. She does feel privileged about seeing that one soft side of him others don’t know about.

I HC that Pieck/every shifter in general does not require food when she’s in her Titan form and her human body is fed by the Titan’s light absorption while all her bodily functions just go into…. kinda, hibernation mode, I guess??? That’s why Pieck suffers from a loss of appetite because she literally has unlearned how to eat and Porco is the one in charge of taking care to remind her to eat.

Porco was assigned to work with Pieck when he was still a warrior candidate. In some of my HCs he’s also part of the panzer unit but even if not, if he was on the field, he was usually always close to her and most of the times the one to take care of her after she exited her Titan.

In most of my HCs they start out as friends with benefits, just to get some steam off. Most of the times romantic feelings are involved from both sides and they also know but they act on “we don’t have much time, so let’s just skip to the good part already and leave the talking for later, maybe never.”

Their bond is so much more than just romance. They have to trust each other with their lives and, just by having very similarly built titans, always fight side by side, to a point I’d say they are each other’s closest bond within the warriors. They share a room with their beds being the closest to each other’s on missions (I HAVE MY PROOFS ON THIS IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME!!) and they know each other well enough to be able to tell when something is wrong. The base of their relationship is absolute trust, not love. And in my eyes, this makes it so much stronger.

I wrote this waaaay past behind my bedtime so I apologise for weird wording or spelling errors but thank you so much again! Hope this is what you were looking for!

[h3r0b0y]

little dr oc dump (with my pookies @amnesiaskulls and @rexecutioner )

the red bandanna one who looks like me is mine, and hes the ultimate lucky student because quite frankly thats something that would happen to me. also,, a little shit and almost dies way too many times

the one with headphones is the ultimate pirate (& the protag) but just like. pirates movies and stuff which everyone else finds extremely underwhelming. she’s a lot like kaede bc i love kaede and we got robbed of her as a protag but she like manic pixie dream girl “i can fix them”s everyone who she decides in her brain is a good person with her intuition and the heart of the cards

the ponytail one labeled gatekeep in the second image is rex, who is the ultimate woodworker and gets so so so close but unfortunately doesnt make the cut (or does make the cut, depending on what kind you’re talking about)

the goggles one is amnesia, the ultimate traditional artist (because normal artist was taken) who is only slightly problematic to the protag

the purple one is the ultimate matchmaker and my very favorite manic pixie dream girl who will begin to learn not to cross boundaries but dies before major character growth because she’s tragic like that

then theres the ultimate witch. shes based on one of our irl friends who loves magic stuff and has red hair but i had to make her different from himiko so i made her a gemstone girly who makes moon water and knows the astrological chart by heart

the ultimate ghost hunter! he is kind of obsessed with death but not in a creepy way more of in a true crime way. he gets so so so sad (like cry sad) if someone dies with unfinished business, which is kinda rampant here ‘cause they’re all teens

then theres mr hypnotist. he is a BITCH. i dont know all his specifics yet but he will cause an awesome trial because he hypnotizes someone into killing someone else and who’s technically the killer then?

then the ultimate doctor, who will probably not survive too long (i think chapter 2-3?) because she is a doctor. she is a girlboss diva though

not pictured are: ultimate cowboy, hunter, conspiracy theorist, criminologist, cosmetologist, ventriloquist, & exorcist (i think thats all)- most of whom are not designed because i did the first half and am going on strike until rex and amnesia pick up the slack

an extra fun detail that i really like (that i cant show ‘cause i hit the image limit) is friendship bracelets!!! we went “why the fuck do you get underwear for being someones friend” so amnesia was like “wait a second…. a token of friendship……” and made friendship bracelets. so all of them have unique friendship bracelets and thats awesome

also amnesia made this awesome apocalypse au for v3 and i went “what if,,,, these guys were in it” and booted up a random team generator (i love making enough derivative content that it’s original) but i have a chart of the teams and they are very funny to me so thats cool but i fear, like all the other charts ive made for this, they are only comprehendible by myself

please please PLEASE ask me stuff about them i love them sm and i love yapping even more‼️‼️

[puddingvalkyrie]

Reading massively improved my mental health and I want to talk about it in case it can help others!

Y'all, I think we all need to read more books.

I know I'm an author so I WOULD say that and in fact, I DO say that to children at every opportunity (my dyslexia would be a LOT worse if I hadn't read so much as a kid) but hear me out.

So back in ...March/April I was pretty miserable and it was partly because Norwegian winter will do that to an unprepared foreigner but also because it was the anniversary of The Bad Thing so I felt miserable and alone.

I had no way to really remedy the situation.

But one thing I did do was... Finally crack. See, I'd been DYING to reread my Discworld books, but they are in a different country and I can't afford to go get them or have them sent to me. I have a few paper books here though - I mainly took my fairytale collections, because what did you expect? Actually I guess hardly anyone on Tumblr knows me - Alicia does two things. Vampires. And Fairytales. Didn't bring my vampire encyclopedia, too big and heavy. Anyway.

I have a part time job with an hour on the train each way. I started taking my paper books, my fairytale collections. They were full of short things I could finish easily in a train journey.

Some info. I had managed to sour reading for myself some years previously... I mainly read for research purposes, hardly picking up anything just for the fun of it. PSA: Don't do this. Do not do this. Don't. Do NOT.

And then I reread one of the few paper fiction books I had with me. I enjoy fairytales but they do still fall under 'sort of work' for me. This did not. This was a book I am eagerly awaiting the finale to.

Anyway, I finished it quickly, reading it both on and off the train. You know. For fun. Not just fill time I was stuck somewhere.

Finishing it annoyed me. I wanted more stories. I wanted more than fairytales. And so I cracked. I bought Equal Rites as an ebook. See, I'd previously decided I would not buy anything I already owned in paperback as an ebook because... Well, waste of money, something I don't have enough of. To buy my entire discworld collection in ebook format would cost as much as getting on a plane and bringing my paper ones back.

But just ONE book would be alright, wouldn't it?

So anyway I finished the book.

Of course I'm not going to read just ONE discworld book.

So I carefully ration myself ebooks, making a condition for myself that they are mainly for the train, but I am allowed to read them at home too.

And gradually... The fog lifted. Nothing much has changed besides that I'm reading books regularly again. I still have the same problems that were upsetting me in March. I was also HORRIBLY BURNED OUT until last week. But my mood is MASSIVELY improved. Like, hugely improved. And yeah, yeah, it's summer now, so the weather will have helped also. But I can pinpoint my recovery to when I started reading regularly again. And that is to say that while I was burned out, I wasn't ALSO sad.

So from now on I will be making an effort to keep reading books for fun.

It's kind of crazy that I had stopped for so long. I mean. I write books people are supposed to read for fun. Kinda hypocritical of me to like.. not do that.

I think maybe I have created this problem for myself with many of my hobbies. I tried to make drawing into a business, tried to do too much too fast, and since then I've barely drawn. I love cartoons so I watch them in Norwegian to help me learn - means I was never just relaxing while watching a cartoon for a few years. Recently started just watching cartoons in English/Japanese if I darn well feel like it.

...enough tangent, back to Why Reading Is Good.

Don't quote me on this, I am just scribbling down thoughts I've been meaning to write down for a month, therefore, am too lazy to track down any sources, but I'm pretty sure reading books is actually scientifically proven to help your brain?? I seem to remember reading your hippocampus shrinks if you don't exercise your brain enough and reading long stories does that. And a shrinking hippocampus causes depression?? I don't know anything much about brains and psychology so I must have read that somewhere.

I think a hippocampus is also like... A horse mermaid.

Again, no source, might be thinking of something from Mermaid Melody.

I'mma go read more of my current book now. It's a history book this time.

Yay books!

[cvntyvvitch]

been re-reading Nevada and relating super hard to Maria. the first time I read it I was pretty early in my transition and I did relate to it, but now that I'm kinda in the same place with my transition that Maria was, it's kinda hitting way different.

I've been figuring out a lot of stuff lately. these past couple months have been very emotional. I started Wellbutrin a couple months ago and it's been life-changing.

I had been on it in the past, I was on a lot of different psych meds before I kinda gave up on fixing my depression for like 6 years. it didn't work before, but I was also heavily abusing alcohol, among other things, didn't know that made it not work. I'm sober now.

it's been working, it's been really good actually.

I think with that cloud of depression and anhedonia being lifted, I've had the ability and energy to actually start processing things that I haven't worked on before. I had known I was poly before, my partner and I had talked about it when we started our relationship, but neither of us had really dated or done anything with anyone before. well I hooked up with another trans girl recently for the first time. it kind of broke my brain. I realized I'm much more of a bottom than I thought I was ha. also realized I'm waaaay more T4T than I ever thought I would be. and honestly the whole experience has really made me rethink my sexuality as a whole. honestly I've decided I'm just gonna slut it up now. in finally comfortable in my body and know how to have sex in a way that doesn't cause me to dissociate, I'm not gonna miss out on the chance to enjoy my body as much as I can while I'm young.

I've been mourning and like, feeling empathy, for my younger self a lot recently. you know how you have, like, two selves? like you have the self that like occupies your body and is present in the moment, then you have yourself that is like, observing the person that is the one doing things. think it's called your metacognition or something? anyway, growing up I think I was a bit stunted when it came to my empathy development. I don't know if it's an autism thing or a trans thing, but I didn't really understand how to empathize with other people until, like, highschool. but then I kinda developed like a lot of empathy, especially since transitioning. it has always been so easy to empathize with some people that it can become painful. I would hear what they were going through and just want to cry at their struggles and how beautiful they were as a human. well, I think I was finally able to actually empathize with myself. like my metacognisant self was finally able to look at me how I am able to look at other people, and I just felt so much sadness for the pain of all the shit I've had to go through to get here. I sobbed for my younger self for hours.

I don't think that's the first time I've done that, but it was the first time I think I recognized what was happening and that made the feeling much more powerful. before that I had, with increasing frequency, had times where I would look in the mirror, or look down at my hands or legs (or breasts ha) and I would be overcome with joy at how good I looked and felt. and I would start crying.

I knew it was a sad cry, but I have trouble processing and identifying my emotions, so I didn't really understand why it was happening. but I think I understand now, I was mourning that little girl who thought everything was hopeless, that I'd probably be dead before I was 20, that this world was not for me, that I was not worthy of love- and especially not from myself.

but now I do love myself, maybe not all the time, but I think most of the time. and I'm at a place now where like, yeah no one is ever "done" transitioning, and sure there are more changes that could and probably will happen, but I am finally happy with where I'm at. I don't feel like I'm constantly struggling for air anymore. I am comfortable just existing, and I know things will only get better.

and so like, now what? well.. I guess I can finally live my life? I mean yeah, in a way. it kind of feels like the first 25 years of my life were wasted. all that time where other people were figuring out who they were and who they wanted to be, I was spending trying to be what other people wanted me to be. and mostly failing at that. I spent most of highschool and my early 20s getting fucked up in any way I could. anything to help me dissociate from my body easier. I did a lot of different drugs but my absolute favorite I think honestly was robotripping. I did it all the time, I got good at it, I had a system. I figured out the most effective method was getting the bargain brand gelcaps that only has the dxm without the other stuff that fucks up your liver and makes you puke. I would still usually puke, but I could take more and it would take longer before that happened and I was already tripping at that point so nothing was wasted. the dxm made everything feel light, made colors brighter, but best of all made me feel completely. totally. not there.

my body was on autopilot and I was just watching. nothing mattered. my body wasn't real, the world wasn't real. everything was a dream and I could exist within the safety of my mind away from all that.

so yeah, I guess when you spend all that time learning the best ways to disconnect from yourself, it's kinda hard when you finally do feel connected to know what the fuck to do.

so I guess in figuring that out now. it's scary. you have this feeling when you first start transitioning of, yes this is it! this is what was missing, I've got it figured out now!

oh you poor dumb hoe

you might as well have just been born at that point, and now you get to try to figure out how to be a person, again.

but you don't have people there to help you. and it feels like everyone resents you. even if you are lucky enough to have parents that support you, you never really get that experience of your mom teaching you how to be a girl. of your dad being protective of you. of the other girls at school and your friends empathizing with your struggles, because they are struggling with the same things at the same time, because you are all growing up together. they should really have like a program that you get put into when you start transitioning with other girls your age that started transitioning at the same time. maybe that way you could have some semblance of the comradery of growing up that you should have had as a kid.

so I guess I'm winging it, I guess most of us are. it just sucks that no one understands. I'm hoping to find some friends that do.

I think that's the worst part of being trans,

feeling so alone.

[cupoftaae]

Prompts 1 & 11 x Namjoon

""give me time, give us time" x "we're not just friends, and you fucking know it"

see prompt list here

for @ultimatenoona ! thanks for requesting and keeping me busy :) I wrote this on the train ride home from work

you asked me to pick between one and eleven, decided to merge them because why not

Enjoy!!

warnings- angst, swearing, sadness

you remember the night often, it was a new years eve party and all your friends were off somewhere either drunk, making out, high or depressed.

Where did you fall in the middle of all of that?

on the back balcony with your best friend Namjoon, who had just taken you off guard, kissing you when the clock had struck midnight.

you dragged him outside to speak privately

"Im sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I never meant to" he mumbled shyly, unable to look at you.

"you didnt, joon, I was just kinda shocked....I wasnt expecting it"

He nodded, his eyes stuck on the beer can in his grasp.

"Hoseok actually is the one who told me to do it" he snickered, making you smile

"oh yeah?"

"mm" he finally looked at you, hearing amusement in your voice. "He told me to man up and just confess already...which probably is something I should have done before...you know...kissing you"

You blushed harshly, making you reach out to grasp his hand, "I think you just did"

He giggled quietly and nodded, seeming embarrassed "yeah...guess I did"

You smiled at him softly

"I mean, can you blame me? you are so beautiful"

"joon" you giggled, covering your face

He stood up, looking down at you "all my friends doubted me whenever I told em about you" he began "they tried to brush off the closeness as just friendship....but"

You stood up, taking his hand and meeting his face closer

He whispered, cold breath hitting your skin "we're not just friends...and you fucking know it" he smirked

You nervously bit your lip, smiling

To be fair, this thing with him has been slowly burning for a while now, and so although you were shocked he made the move to kiss you, you weren't as surprised to hear that he had an infatuation with you.

You couldnt lie....you had developed feelings for your friend as well

"No.." you shook your head "I guess we aren't huh?"

the memory makes you smile, its something that provides a warm feeling every time it comes into your brain.

You wish that in this current moment however, things were similar to how you two bonded then...all those years ago.

Now, you were adults with responsibilities and work and family.

The both of you had been dating for almost 6 years now, moving in together, doing everything by each others side, you loved every second of it....but you also needed more.

Not from him, but from life itself.

You both werent worried about if you had a wedding or not, it wasnt a main priority for either of you despite your parents urges.

He worked a job 5 days a week, mostly gone from 7am, and getting home at midnight, all while you stayed home and tried to keep yourself busy.

You both had even tried to have a baby, but after months of no luck and a doctors appointment, you were told that it wouldnt be possible. It broke you, leaving you not want to leave home even more so, and of course it took a strain on your relationship.

He stayed out later, you never left that damn room unless it was to cook something for him that he wouldnt even end up appreciating.

You loved him, so fucking much, but you felt helpless as if nothing you did could or would fix the position you both had been in for quite some time. You wanted to live again, You wanted to go back to school and work and begin to experience life once more...but it was impossible to do here.

You both never spoke to eachother anymore, that is, until one night

"we cant keep doing this." you mumbled into the pillow, it had to have been around 4:30 am when he climbed into bed, he reeked of alcohol.

"what?" he was startled, looking over at your laying body, facing away from him.

Finally, you sat up with tears in your eyes, facing him

"honey...." he frowned and tried to hold your hand but you pulled back, "what is going on joon?" you whispered

"what do you mean? everything is fine"

"fine? this is the longest conversation we have had in weeks and you call this fine?" you sniffled, scoffing slightly as he sat against the headboard.

He wasnt sure what to say, so he shrugged

"im tired" you suddenly spoke again

"then...go to sleep sweetheart, im sorry i woke you-"

"no, im tired of this. tired of you pretending you care when you dont, because if you did you wouldnt fucking be coming home so late, you would fucking text me, you would fucking show me some appreciation once in a while, and you would at least fucking TALK TO ME!" you began to shout, standing out of the bed in frustration as warm tears fell off your cheeks.

His eyes widened, heart squeezing as he felt the wind knock out of him. Yes things were rough, but he didnt know it had been this bad.

"and yes..I know we have had a hard year, I know Namjoon, and Im sorry to put it all on you, but we are supposed to be a team, I love you and it feels like you stopped loving me back"

He stood to his feet quickly and made his way in front of you, "no- no no, Y/N, I-I love you so much, baby.." he held you, "why didnt you say anything earlier?"

"because you are never home!!!" you cried, pushing away

"im sorry...i dont blame you for anything, you didnt do anything wrong, the baby-"

"its more than that, I feel stuck here" you gestured between the both of you, anger filling your body.

He looked at you, pleading eyes

"I cant...I cant do it anymore" you exhale shakily

"no" he stepped closer, instantly falling to his knees in front of your legs. "baby...im sorry" he whispered, feeling tears prick his own eyes. "i'll do better, we can get better I promise, Whatever you want ill get you, we can get married, is that it? is that what you want? anything.... just please- dont leave me" he pressed his face against your thigh as you looked down at him

"I dont know what to say Namjoon" you cry, hand wiping your tears "I am over all of it"

He grasped your hand and looked up, "honey...please no no, im here, I will change we can do better" his eyes were wide, youve never seen him so vulnerable. "give me time, give us time....we- we can do it, yeah?"

You shrugged helplessly "we are gonna need to fix a lot more than you think...."

He nodded quick, "anything baby, anything, we will start as soon as we can....i cant do this without you" he pressed himself closer to you as you both cried, emotions on ice as the rooms tension and sadness infiltrated your hearts.

"dont leave...dont leave..." he whispered, repeating it to himself.

"....I wont"

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

THANK YOU SM!! Got me giggling first thing in the morning

YES for Cherry's character, it made sense for her mum to be a handler, that way, she knows all about assassins. At first I wanted her mum to also be an assassin but it wouldn't be as safe as being a handler, plus she won't be home very much and she's protective of who to let babysit her (she's a single mom).

Ok so I can't choose what to send so I'll just list them here and let you decide (if that's okay with you)

Fic: It's Morioka, not Kyoto I talked about it in my one of my last ideas ask. Reader was informed by the WD that the destination is Morioka, not Kyoto like the twins have mentioned. This sparks confusion and they are left to think something else is going on here (+ how they manage to get out without being spotted by WD's men)

Drabble: Honeymoon This one is like the wedding night smut you did, but we're away on a honeymoon, all alone :)

Drabble: Scar Also talked about this one. Tan notices us try not to tear up at the sight of his scar and we end up hugging each other (comfort drabble)

Drabble: Second child How would Tan ask us for a second child

Hcs: Reader who's just like Prince We emotionally manipulate other assassins (like how Prince did with Yuichi. The whole "Do you know how easy it was to get your son to follow me to the rooftop?" We break them and make them become vulnerable because we know their weakness). I know I requested an assassin!reader hc but this focuses more on us (how they're proud of us)

(I know I said 2 drabbles but the second child one came to me after reading your recent dad!tan post) So pick whatever you like, if it's one or two (or none lol) tell me so I can send it in as a request (but really, if you don't like anything from here it's alright !! And also if you do write something but don't feel like writing other one please tell me so I'll know not to send it next time)

— "like if something was to go bad, he’d want to talk to you one last time" WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT 😭😭 (I'm kidding ofc and that's something I can picture him saying but you're breaking my heart here)

AND OMG YES !! I gave it a listen and you're so right that is tan!! Adding it to my playlist of him 💗💗 If you ever come across more songs that makes you think of him please please do share!! (I might as well, I also have a playlist for Lem I'll think of sharing if that's okay) (Will also add some more dad!tan in my next ideas ask as well) 💺 anon

tehe ofc angel!!

yes yes I love that!!! it explains how she knows things, while not being in the job per-say. and how she’d have connections LOVE IT

ooohh okay okay so… firstly love them all, but the ones that are tickling my fancy most is the scar and second child one - they immediately struck up a couple ideas. send in either one or both of them my love, up to you 💓 I usually struggle with ones on the bullet train just bc I get too in my head and it’s like I have to create a movie plot (bc of the order things happen in etc) they use lots of brain power and I often lose motivation for them half way. as much as I love the idea, those ideas don’t like me 😭😭 they kinda kill my brain off. maybe it’s bc I prefer/ find it easier to write civilian readers

AAAAHHH I KNOW I FELT BAD SAYING IT😭 hurt my heart to write it :( but it’s true so had to be said

you added it????? TEHEH😌 and ofc angel, I will do. I’ll keep a note of them and send them like I did with that one. and yes pls do!! and that’s more than okay! I love dad tan so much it’s actually sad atp 😭

[lilikags]

QIAN HI ok so um I’m reading the reminiscence marionette story in enstars

Holy shit my brain is so 💥

The fact that most of the first few chapters nazuna never actually talked but it’s like his thoughts and his thoughts are honestly so sad. The part where he’s convinced his voice is too imperfect and will just ruin Shu’s perfection

okay so iirc that's around the time his voice started to change

and yk what happens when boys get their voice change lmao its kinda. yeah

so, like anyone else, especially because his came so late, he's really self-conscious about it. especially because his singing was basically the only way he could prove his own worth imo

and plus iirc he states himself that his singing was refined in the chorus. and which i assume that (along with his stunning good looks) drove shu to (dramatically) invite him to join valkyrie. it was something he prided on and also was praised for before joining ymsk. and also he seemed like some miserable guy before then, and having his chuunibyou era to deal with the loneliness. most probably from his strong desire to express himself freely (wanting to be boyish and curse like the other buys and do rough things) but being forced to be a good kid who stays indoors and read books. and since he does that now a lot i think he's come to accept that kind of lifestyle but is also trying to find and express the self he's been trying to express since he was a kid

I DIGRESS

(cut because i went on)

-- went to reread because got curious about something -- anyways

at that point, nazuna has a lot of respect for shu's style. (puppet show ch 2) he also talks down on the other students a lot and thinks hes better than them. i honestly don't know about how the student body felt at the time before the war to have a proper opinion on what they did, we basically only see the opinion of "they're lazy" as far as i've read.

i digress. again. nazuna has a lot of respect for shu's style; it's perfect art, compared to the things (or the lack of) things the other students did at the time. he thinks it's great, the style itself, and because of his high opinion of shu's style (which later on he blames a lot of his struggles on shu and mika, although he too has a part in it) he does not, on his own will, want to taint it in any way

and the reason why he's so unsure of who he is and who he needs to be is because if he stops being shu's person, then he has nowhere else to go. before he entered ymnsk he probably only realized he wanted to be an idol shortly before applying, maybe a year or so or something. largely an empty life. doing what his parents told him. dissatisfied. then he got to the school. lost. buncha "lazy kids" in his opinion. didn't match up to his expectations. met a hardworking guy, joined his unit, he earned praise and he finally became useful with a concrete goal. but once that little thing shatters, what does he have left?

it's though as in that moment (puppet show ch 3) he realizes just how limited his world is, and has been. if it was larger before, he'd have realized that earlier. and thats when the dissatisfaction truly begins (not that he didn't have doubts before, but thats where he loses himself)

and to add, he's doing this now. he loses himself every so often, he was like that before deciding to become an idol and apply to ymnsk, he tried to become an idol but was disappointed. then he joined valkyrie and became a hardworking idol, like what he wanted. he left valkyrie after all that happened. just like he wanted, he saw a whole new world with ra*bits. future? i think what he wants now is not just a new world of people to rely on and find himself, he wants to find the qualities of the world. not just the life but the qualities. the themes, and i think he'll go through that with the struggles of a whole theme rebrand and everything, then he'll come out a better version of himself. i think that's a big theme with him here

[sebyplays2]

/ polyamorous-elevenv2 here! so u did have a bad time, so I decided to try to work something for u. like part of the collab. I didn't start it, bc I asked if u have any idea for the prompt for that collab but u never responded. but well, anyway, let's start.

It wasn't anything unusual. Max was spending a lot of time lately with Lucas and El. It was normal. El was her best friend, and Lucas was her boyfriend. It was okay. They hang out a lot as a trio, they went to the movies, on ice creams, they even taught El the beautiful art of judging people together!

But today, well, today was different.

Last night, the trio of them decided to go to Lucas' house because it was still bright outside, even though rain was raining like crazy. They ended up on his couch, choosing one of the videotapes Lucas had in his home, and decided to watch it. It started with comedy movie, then they switched to horror one, and at the end they have chosen... romance, yeah. But it was funny. Characters were straight up dumb, but El was loving it, looking at the screen with bright eyes, making both Max and Lucas smile.

And Max didn't want to think about it then, but... it wasn't an 'El is such a silly friend' smile. No. It was a 'she's so cute, isn't she?' smile, that smile that usually is directed at people you love. Not friends. And she knew that Lucas loves her, stars know that she knows it, but-

No. Nope, not now. That's not a problem right now.

Max's problem right now is that she is in need of peeing.

Why won't she just go?

Because the night before, after watching a romance movie, they switched to some boring drama and,,, well,,, next thing Max know is waking up squished between El and Lucas' torsos.

The fuck is she supposed to do right now, and why her cheeks are so hot!?

/ your turn <3

woah… thats unexpected… i thought we will do lumax finds out about El bad habits (the one i message you) but nvm that i mean this one is sooo GOOD… idk umh okay. sorry here is my part😅

max is now stuck with this idiots who she love… like- her mind is saying get up you need to go and pee but her brain say stay because can you survive the guilt leaving them or waking them up? fv*k no right.

she ended up sitting there and hot faced while getting squish by her boyfriend and her gurl bestfriend who she think is more than that.

While shes like that trying to hold her gladbladder, the two moved to their left side making Max have some space and go to the bathroom… Max got confused and kinda sad because they moved she wanted to stay but she couldnt hold it anymore so she rushed to bathroom and after that she go back to the couch we're her two idiots sleeping.

its morning and she woke up having all the couch by herself with soft pillows in her head and a blanket on top of her. she wonder where Lucas and El, she than smell something heavinly coming from the kitchen she got up and goes to the kitchen, finding Lucas cooking and El helping him.

El and Lucas notice Max standing quietly at the corner, El called Max and greet her good morning while smilling cutely, Max feel her heartbeat getting faster, she smiled and also greet El. Lucas also greeted her and Max also greet him to, she sat next El and they start to chat, after 5 minutes the food is ready Lucas already handing them their food for El she have; chicken and waffle and a milk, for Max she have a pancakes,bacons and a coffee and for him he have ham and chess omelete and orange juice.

while he handle their plates he kissed Max forehead and said morning my love. Max blush and look like red as a tomato. The three sat and eat their breakfast that Lucas made.

Max never felt so loved in her life not until she met this two sunshine in her life... she will do anything just to see their cute and heavenly smile.

your turn @polyamorous-elevenv2 😊

[nocturnalart]

I'm late diagnosed AuDHD. More Autistic than ADHD (much more) but as I've gotten older my brain has less resilience and the ADHD is getting stronger and it's wild to me how I'll just forget what the absolute fuck I am doing. My brain got worse after I had my kids and all the pressure of being a mom and needing to have the combo of energy, planning, and follow through ability and I used to feel like planning was my super power: I can plan a lot. I can plan well. I used to be very organized - I thrive on organized and schedules. After 2 years of raising my twins my brain burned out. I unlearned so many of the things I used to do to function around other humans cuz my twins were infants/toddlers and I didn't have to mask around them (I didn't even realize that it was what I was doing till the pandemic ended and I realized my 'public face' skills were basically non existent and doing the act of being normal was so much more work than it was before to the point where my family doctor noticed and basically said 'listen, You are most def neurodivergent and you need to do something about it - go get diagnosed so we can figure out a plan - in the mean time here's some anti anxiety meds so you can not be having panic attacks all the time' (obviously in more professional tone and language)

Anyway - discovering there was a reason for what the hell was gogin on with me (it's amazing ot me that NTs don't do things the way I do - they don't practice conversations, they don't run scenarios, they don't front load any and all activities, they don't have to give themselves a pep talk before each and ever activity all day, they don't have to do things the same way every time to be not stressed about doing anything at all, they don't have to write dozens of notes to themselves to remember things, they don't need every calendar alert ever and things on the phone going off to tell them to eat food or drink water, they don't have to fight a panic attack to make any kind of appointment over the phone, they forget what they were doing as soon as they leave a room and then decide to do something else and then go back to the room and remember why you got up in the first place but do that 5 times in a row because your kids asked you to get them a popsicle but you can't fucking remember to get that thing and instead did laundry and cleaned the bathroom and loaded the dishwasher and got them some water and then they say "Mom! you got distracted again, we told you we wanted a popsicle!" and me going "oh. fuck. Yeah you did ask me for a popsicle.... 20 min ago.... and i did 4 things and got you water which is not a popsicle."

It crushes me that my kids (currently 5 and about to start school) have learned that I am distractible to this degree and roll with it. they remind me. they watch me to make sure I do stuff. They tell me I told you and listen to me and pay attention ("Look at me mom - look at me *makes solid eye contact with me* understand? I want a sandwich please, with sprinkles and a glass of juice" "yes sweetie, lets do that right now") It's devastating for my self esteem. I used to be good at paying attention and doing things (then I look at my job history and think - oh - yeah no I was terrible at those things), but I have been doing therapy and I learned that largely my paying attention and doing things and making plans and following through was me doing what is basically the base min coping to manage my AuDHD. And that all those things are things that NTs kinda just do or take for granted once they develop that skill. It makes me real sad. I am still good at coming up wiht a plan but I will literally forget the whole damn plan and do 5 other jobs in a frenzy of 'I know I was supposed to do something but what'.

Hell I don't even remember what the heck the original idea I had was when I started writing this - but I know I need to take my anxiety pills and have a cup of tea and make a list of things I _need_ to accomplish today and a second list of additional 'it would be nice if i could also do...' jobs. Make myself my personal "honey do' list =( this is my life now.

the curse of adhd:

i will remember with absolute clarity, when the thought strikes me that i have a text to send someone, that this is the fourth time in three days i've attempted to send this specific text

i will forget, in the time it takes me to pick up my phone, that i picked it up intending to send a text