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bucks-babe · 9 months

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Be Mean To Me

Pairing: Bucky x f!reader

Summary: After a long day at work, you just want to lose all control and have your boyfriend fuck you into oblivion

Warnings: Established relationship, slight angst, fluff, smut, mean!dom!bucky, reader asks for it, they are so in love, rough sex, dom/sub dynamics, oral (male receiving), ball sucking, slapping, spit kink?, degradation, humiliation, name calling (slut, whore, bitch, sugar, good girl), daddy kink, some praise, spanking, pussy slapping (like once), safe word (yellow), vaginal sex, no prep anal, Bucky has a huge dick, choking, aftercare, check-ins, crying during sex, crying after sex, soft!Bucky, no mention of Y/N, no description of reader other than being female

Word Count: 4.9k of mostly smut

A/N: This was very self indulgent. Work has been kicking my ass and I want to be taken care of. Any mistakes are my own. If I missed any warnings please let me know. @bucknastysbabe it's done! I think I should go back to therapy. But hey, smut

You feel your throat tighten as you walk up to the apartment you share with Bucky. It was one of those days that left you beaten down and wanting to curl up under your blankets and cry. You didn’t even want to go into work this morning, having to force yourself to get ready. Too many rude customers, incompetent coworkers giving you more work than you get paid to do, everything leaving you overstimulated and wanting your boyfriend.

It left a craving deep down inside of you, a want that you knew only he could quell. You just wanted to shut your brain off, have Bucky take care of you, ruin you, treat you like a whore, break you down, just to put you back together again.

You swallow the lump in your throat and unlock the front door, finding Bucky on the couch watching some random action movie that he claimed to hate. At the sight of him your body naturally relaxes and the urge to crawl onto his lap is too much to bear.

“Hey, sugar. I’ve been missing you all day. You’ll never fucking believe the video Sam sent me of Tony trying out his new thrusters! He flew rig- What’s wrong?” He perked up at the sound of the door opening, truly missing his girl. Whenever you’re around him his entire day gets better, a lightness filling his chest, but when he sees how run down you are, his heart literally hurts for you. Bucky wants to protect you from everything, from supervillains all the way to spiders in the house.

“Long day, baby. Just wanna be with you.” He opens his arms and you instantly crawl into his lap, eyes burning with tears you refuse to shed. He runs his metal hand up and down your back, pulling you as close to him as possible, while his flesh hand rests on your head, holding you to his neck, letting you breathe him in.

“What can I do for you, sugar? Want to talk about it? I can order from your favorite place. Can run you a bath. Whatever you want, sweet girl.”

“Please, be mean to me, Bucky.” Bucky feels his heart clench in his chest. He wants to keep your heart safe from whatever it is that is plaguing you, but he knows he can’t. What he can do is follow your request and make you forget.

“How mean do you want me, sugar?” Bucky has done this for you a few times. He always asks how you want him to treat you. It’s in his nature to be sweet to you, fill you with praise, but that's not what you want right now. You want to be degraded and treated like a fucktoy.

“Mean.” You keep your eyes trained on him. This is the only part where you need to keep your head on, make sure that he knows you want this.

“Remember your colors, sugar?” You nob, excitement bubbling up inside of you. “Remember, daddy will only be upset with you if you don’t use them. If you need to say yellow or red, you will.” His tone is final. This is the only way he would ever agree to treating you like a slut.

“Yes, daddy.” And just like that, Bucky’s entire demeanor changes. He goes from your sweet, cuddly boyfriend to a cold and callous body of muscle.

“Then take your clothes off, slut.” He pushes you off his lap, just hard enough to give the illusion of indifference. As you strip, Bucky keeps his eyes trained on the TV, not paying you any mind. Your core throbs at the fact that you are completely exposed while he is still fully dressed.

“On your knees.” He’s still not looking at you, but you obey without thought, willing to do whatever he wants. Grabbing the back of your neck, he forces you in between his spread legs, and you whine at the fact that his cock is still soft inside his sweats. Any other day, Bucky would make sure that your knees were never on the hardwood floor without a pillow or something soft underneath, but not today.

On days like these, when you want to feel completely submissive, it takes Bucky a while to get aroused. It’s in his nature to love up on you, make you drunk with pleasure in the sweetest way possible. He feeds off of your energy. When he is sure that you are having fun, his body lets himself fall into his role.

“What? You think at the first signs of some tits I’m gonna get hard? I knew you were a dumb slut but I didn’t realize just how thick you were.” Your pussy was absolutely pulsing with need. With his hand still on the back of your neck, he rubs your face against his crotch, feeling his cock begin to harden at the smell of your arousal.

He pulls you back far enough to slide his pants down, foregoing boxers, and you immediately try to take his half hard length in your mouth. Before you can process it, Bucky’s right hand lands a slap to your cheek - hard enough to make a welt that will take a few hours to disappear. You gasp and your cunt pulses even harder than before at the sting left on your cheek.

His metal hand wraps around your chin, much cooler than it’s supposed to be, and forces you to look him in the eye. In the back of your mind you realize that he turned on the cooling function in his arm to sooth your cheek; the arm was built to keep him cool in the Wakandan sun and heat. “Did daddy say you could suck his cock?” He uses his hand to shake your head from side to side, answering for you. “Then keep your slutty mouth shut.”

He spreads his legs wider and pulls your face closer to his heavy sack, already full of cum. “Hands behind your back, and suck on daddy’s balls.” You join your hands together behind your back without question and nuzzle his balls. Wasting no time, you take one into your mouth, sucking feverishly, enjoying the light dusting of hair tickling your face.

“Oh, fuck, come on, slut, I know you can do better than that. Take ‘em both in your dirty mouth.” He pushes you further into him, cutting off your oxygen, and you swear you hear your slick drip onto the floor. Your jaw aches as you try to get them both in your mouth, but you can't; his balls are too big. Bucky ruts against your face, squishing his balls, precum leaking from his tip, dripping onto his stomach after he takes his shirt off.

With your limited amount of movement, you alternate between each ball, licking at the seam. Every time you switch balls, you feel the other drag wetly across your face and you have to clench your legs in an attempt to quell the ache between them while fighting with your need for air. “Such a dirty bitch, lapping at your daddy’s nuts, shit.” He pulls you back just as your head starts to go fuzzy from the lack of oxygen, and you gasp for air, spit is covering the lower half of your face and is dripping down your neck and chest; Bucky feels his cock throb at the sight.

Reaching out, Bucky smears your spit around your face and leaves another, weaker smack to your cheek before he grabs his cock and uses his weeping tip to tease you, dragging it on your face. “What a nasty fucking bitch, drooling all over the place just from sucking some balls.” He slaps your cheeks with it a few times before forcing your head down all the way, making you gag and you immediately pull off, coughing.

He stares into your eyes, cold and calculating, waiting for you to speak. When your coughing subsides you manage to get out a hoarse ‘green,’ giving him the all clear. He takes your head and once again makes you take his cock, this time much slower and not as deep, the first time he wanted to fuck with you. “Such a perfect fucking mouth, shit.” He stops you from bobbing your head, “Stop being such a desperate whore and let daddy finish his movie.” You're sure you’re leaking onto the floor at this point.

You are able to see his face and he looks wrecked, mouth hanging open and head back; he’s not watching shit. Nonetheless, you rest your head on his thigh, getting comfortable, spreading your legs out to get closer to the floor so your head won't be bent at an awkward angle, ignoring the pain in your knees and the ache in your jaw.

The only sounds filling the room are Bucky’s ragged breathing and the movie playing in the background. There is saliva everywhere, his cock, all over his balls, down to his ass and on the couch. His cock is constantly leaking precum into your mouth but you don’t swallow, letting his taste linger on your tongue.

This isn’t what you wanted, you wanted him to demolish you. Sitting with his cock in your mouth is giving you too much time to think, so you do what any sane person would do - be a brat. At the first suckle, Bucky lets out a broken moan, at the second, he knows what you’re up to. Flicking your ear with his metal hand he hisses, “Don’t make me punish you, bitch.” At the third, he yanks you off of his dick, a trail of drool and precum keeping the two of you connected, as slaps you once again with his flesh hand, this time not soothing the marred flesh with his metal hand.

He stands and kicks the couch out of the way and pulls you with him by the neck. “You disobedient little-” he cuts himself short at the small puddle of slick that he finds from your previous position. “Is that what I think it is?” You only whine in response, his grip on your neck never faltering.

With his free hand, he reaches down to your pussy to feel just how wet you are, confirming his suspicions. “What a dirty fucking slut, leaking all over my floor.” He pulls you in closer to him just to whisper, “Lick it the fuck up, bitch,” before pushing you to the ground.

Your knees hit the wood hard and pain runs up your spine. You ignore the ache and brainlessly lap at your juices on the floor before Bucky smushes your cheek against the puddle and you moan. “Messy bitch, you are? Cunt is pulsing, waiting for my dick. Too bad I have to punish you, isn’t it, slut?” He leans down to the floor, eyes lined up with yours. “Daddy is going to give you ten spanks and I want you to count them.” You don’t respond immediately, stuck in a sort of limbo, drawn in further at the softness in his eyes.

No matter how hard he tries, Bucky can’t hide his devotion to you, that’s why he doesn’t let you look at him when he needs to play this role. His whole face softens at your silence, fearing he’s gone too far. “Color, sugar.” Stroking your cheek, he leans in closer, breathing you in.

“Green, daddy, so green.” The sigh Bucky lets out is audible and he feels ten times lighter.

“Good girl, you want to keep going the way we were?” Even though you said green, he wants to be certain.

“Yes please, daddy, want you to be mean.” You look so small and soft. Bucky struggles to put his facade back up, but he knows you need this.

Bucky positions himself behind you, staring at your ass and glistening pussy, and feels his cock bounce. The first slap isn’t soft by any means, you know there will be a handprint left. Your body jolts and Bucky groans at the jiggle of your ass. “One.” The second is on your other cheek and makes you clench around nothing. “Two.” He lands the next two much harder on the same cheek and you feel tears form in your eyes, yet continue to count, digging your nails into your palm.

He repeats the two spanks to your left cheek and takes a break to sooth your heated and raised skin with his metal hand after you’ve counted. The ground beneath your cheek is hard and unforgiving, leaving you neck bent at an odd angle. Spank seven lands on the back of your right thigh and somehow feels much stronger. “Shit! Seven, daddy.” Eight is on your left, and is just as hard. Your entire lower body aches: cunt pulsing and throbbing for his cock, thighs burning, and ass red and raw, sobbing with every impact.

“These last two are going to be harder, slut, since you forgot to count.” Even with his warning, you aren’t prepared. They are hard and fast, hearing them before you feel them, knocking the breath out of you, and you try to scramble up, but Bucky holds you down. “Don’t run away from me, you know better.” All of a sudden, the sharpest and most excruciating pain blooms from your cunt, and then you hear the wet smack of his metal hand hitting your core.

You wail, body shooting up, legs fighting to close to soothe the sting left. Before you can, Bucky’s hand on the back of your head keeps you to the ground, while he slams his cock into your cunt, not stopping to let you adjust. “That’s it, fuck. Such a good pussy. Dirty fucking bitch.” You can’t breathe, his cock is knocking all of the air out of your lungs. The only sounds in the room are Bucky’s moans and the wet slapping of skin, his heavy balls banging against your sore clit. With each thrust you’re sure he’s hitting your cervix.

The hand on the back of your head leaves to grab your hip, letting him fuck you even faster, the both of you sliding further and further on the floor. You try to brace yourself with your hands, but the brutality of his fucking is no match. “Daddy, fuck, s-so g-good, please!” You don’t know what you’re begging for, but your cunt is pulling him in, barely letting him pull out.

Bucky is practically chasing you on the floor, hips never slowing down, eyes trained on your pussy, loving the creamy white mess on his dick. “Fuuuck, look at the ass bouncing on daddy’s cock, shit! Love the way this fat fucking ass looks when its all red and sore.” He’s in heaven, with the tight clench of your cunt wrapping around his cock, making him feel crazy.

“Daddy! I can’t, f-fuck, please, too much!” You’re fucking delirious with pleasure, feeling something twisting inside of you. You searched for something to hold on to, only finding smooth surface, legs locking, body seizing up.

“You can and you will take this dick, bitch. I don’t care if it makes you fucking bleed.” The pressure in your core builds tighter and tighter, all the while, Bucky’s hips never falter, sack still ramming against your clit.The breath is knocked out of you when you feel the most intense orgasm of your life pass through you.

Keening and wailing, you squirt on Bucky’s cock, the sounds of your fucking somehow getting even more wet until the force of your orgasm pushes his cock out. Your body is left twitching. There is a much larger puddle on the floor now - your cum. Bucky could fucking cum at the sight of your pathetic body laying on the ground, body wrought with pleasure. “Fuck, sugar! That was so fucking hot! You squirted all over, shit! I fucking love you so goddamn much.”

The entire lower half of his body is covered with your cum and Bucky swears he can feel his heartbeat in his cock. Nonetheless, he wraps his arms around your waist and hulls you over to where he kicked the couch, placing your upper half on the cushions. “You’re so fucking wet now I bet I could slide right into that tight ass, what do you think, slut?” Your core pulses at the thought of his fat cock in your ass, the two of you don’t usually do anal, given how big he is, but you can’t think straight, especially after cumming so hard.

“Yes, daddy. I want your big cock in my ass, want you to fill me up.” Bucky groans at the thought of his excessive load running out of your ass. Leaning back, he ruts against your pussy, gathering more of your slick, before spreading your cheeks with his hands, staring at your puckered hole. He lines his cock up and watches as precum leaks from his tip.

His cock is huge, much longer and thicker than average, and he knows it. Grabbing himself near his tip, he pushes, grunting at the resistance, knowing that this would be much easier if he takes the time to prep you, but you want to be treated like a whore. “You gotta loosen the fuck up, bitch or else I’ll really fucking hurt you. Want this fucking ass so bad, better let daddy in. Cock is too big for this little ass, isn’t it, gonna split you in half, leave you leaking for days.”

He pushes harder, tip finally popping in, causing searing pain to shoot through you. Crying out, you try to pull forward to escape the burning pain, wiggling further into the couch. Bucky leans over, careful not to push in any further, he knows you need a moment, any other time you would have been fully prepped and he would have slid right in, and wraps his metal hand around your neck, shushing you, “Shhhh, stop being so dramatic.”

After a few minutes, the pain begins to subside and your breathing calms down. Keeping his hand around your throat, he pushes in, inch by inch, and the pain comes back. You whine into the cushion, every new inch burning more than the last until his hips are flush with your ass. “What the fuck?! Your ass is so fu-fucking tight, shit! Fucking milking my cock, wanna pound this little hole, wanna fucking ruin you.”

Burying his face in the back of your neck, Bucky was taking deep breaths, completely out of it. He wasn’t thinking straight, not when your tight hole was hugging every inch of his cock. You on the other hand, were struggling, it was too much too fast. It fucking hurt, there were tears in your eyes, but your pussy was aching like it wanted more. Your clit throbbed with need, even when your ass was stretched to the brim.

You didn’t want to stop, but you needed a break, before Bucky could move his hips you muttered, “Yellow, daddy, yellow.” The hand on your neck left and Bucky maneuvered his upper body so that he could look you in the eye without moving his cock. His entire demeanor was different, back was your sweet, caring boyfriend.

“Good girl, daddy’s so proud of you for using your safe word. Shhh, it’s okay, sugar. Do you just need a second to breathe? Take your time, if you need to stop I will.” Bucky caresses your face as he soothes you, bringing you back down. His cock is still buried to the hilt in your ass, driving him insane. He wants to rail you so fucking bad, tip of his cock probably purple by now, but he would never do anything you didn’t want to, more than willing to sit with his cock inside of you until you’re ready or decide to stop.

You don’t know how much time passes, but eventually, you loosen up and your mind goes fuzzy once again, desperate for him to move. You wiggle your hips, rocking back and forth, instead of pain, blinding pleasure courses through you. “Green, daddy. I’m ready, just needed to get used to your fat cock, want you to pound into me.” Bucky lets out the most sinful groan and stills your hips with his hands.

He starts out slow, easing you into his motions, gradually gaining speed and force the louder your moans get. “Daddy, faster, please, harder, feels so good!” You were practically sobbing, loving the way he was splitting you open. His hips and thighs were wet from when you squirted on him, slapping against your ass, everytime he pulled back a vulgar shlick sound could be heard.

He fucked you faster and harder, staring at where you were connected. “This fucking ass feels incredible. Taking me so well, knew you could do it, fuck. Splitting your tiny ass in half. Oh God!” He could feel his orgasm building up, fighting it off everytime his cum filled sack slapped against your pussy. Letting go of your hips he snarled, “Show daddy how much of a fucking slut you are and bounce that fat ass on his cock.”

You whined, but complied anyway, digging your toes into the floor to get more leverage to keep slamming back on his cock. The sounds of skin slapping and both of your moans completely drowned out the ending of Bucky’s movie, not that either of you cared. Panting and moaning, you kept working yourself on him, feeling another orgasm bubbling up.

Meeting your thrusts, Bucky was rambling, not having one coherent thought in his head, “Look at that, give me that ass, yes! Don’t you dare fucking stop, bitch, want you to milk this cock. Love the way it fucking bounces, never seen anything like it, oh fuck!” He was getting whiny, high pitched moans falling from his lips. He couldn’t help it, his cock was too fucking sensitive and you felt too good.

“M Gonna cum, daddy! Can I cum?” Bucky practically growls, getting up to his feet to squat, not missing a beat while still trusting in you. Every time his pelvis met your ass he whined and whimpered, loving the way it jiggled. He could feel you clenching around him, drawing his own orgasm closer.

“Not until I do. Fucking hold it, bitch.” It seemed impossible, but Bucky fucked you even faster, his hips moving at a ferocious speed. He wanted to cum so fucking bad and your high pitched moans were about to make him bust. “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. I’m gonna fucking nut. You want daddy to fill your ass up, huh? God! Fuck, I’m splitting you in two. Uhhh. Balls are so heavy, so much cum. Fuuuuuuck. Daddy’s gonna fill you up, have you leaking.”

His hand wraps around your throat and chokes you, hips still smashing against yours, your orgasm barely being held in. You try to talk, get him to let you cum, but no words come out. Bucky felt his orgasm approach, balls pulling up, “Shiiit, daddy’s gonna cum, gonna flood your ass, you ready, cum with your daddy. Right. Fucking. Now.” Bucky cums with a long, drawn out moan. The feeling of his endless load pouring into your ass sends you over the edge and you cum so hard your vision goes black for a second. Waves upon waves of pleasure coursing through you. Bucky’s hips jerk involuntarily, prolonging both of your orgasms.

As you both catch your breaths, you feel Bucky begin to soften inside of you, still plugging your hole, stopping his cum from leaking back out. “You were so good for me, sugar. I’m so proud of you.” At those words you feel your bottom lip begin to tremble. Burying your face into the cushions, a sob escapes your throat, all of your emotions finally bubbling over.

Running his hands up and down your back, Bucky soothes you. This was always his least favorite part, seeing you cry. He knows that you’re crying isn’t because of him, but there is always a twinge of fear that shoots through his body, scared that he went too far with you. Bucky pulls out as gently as he can, hissing when the air touches his spent dick, and moves to rest his back against the couch, pulling you into his lap.

Neither of you care that his cum is leaking all over. Bucky will clean the room later, after he takes care of his sweet girl. You cling to him as you sob into his neck, his hands massage your sore cheeks as he whispers in your ear, “Such a good girl for me, you made me feel so fucking good. Can’t even begin to explain how good you felt. There you go, let it out. I’m right here.”

Carefully, he picks you up and carries you to the bathroom. When he tries to set you down you just cling on harder to him, not wanting to leave his embrace. “I gotta draw us a bath, sugar. You know you have to pee, I’ll be right here when you’re done.” You hesitantly let him go while he draws the bath, putting in your favorite oils. After you pee and wipe, he helps you up so you can wash your hands before sitting you both in the tub.

Bucky sits against the wall of the tub and you curl further into his lap, not wanting any space in between you. Somehow you still aren’t close enough to him, wanting to be surrounded completely by him. Tears are still leaking down your face and even with Bucky’s consuming presence, you can’t seem to pull yourself up to the surface. Bucky’s arms are wrapped around you, making sure that you are as close as possible without him being inside of you.

“Sweets, can you look at me? Want to see those pretty eyes.” You can hear the concern in Bucky’s voice, but you can’t bring yourself to move away. He’s your safe space and you just want to bask in his warmth. “Sweets, please. Can you tell me how you feel? I need to know you’re okay.” You don’t know why that set you off, but all of a sudden more tears escape you, sobs fighting to make their way out.

Bucky’s entire world stops, fear shoots up his spine. He doesn’t know if he could live with himself if he hurt you, if he did something that you didn’t want. He knows that you asked him to treat you like a whore, but what if you didn’t want him to go as far as he did? You used your safe word when it got to be too much, but what if you really wanted to say red, not yellow, but wanted to please him, or felt like you had to please him. “Sweetheart, did I hurt you? Did I go too far? Please talk to me.”

Even though you didn’t want to talk, you could hear that he was about to cry. “I’m okay. Just love you so much.” You could feel Bucky relax under you.

“You sure, sweets? I’ve never seen you like this before.” While some of his fears subsided, Bucky was still worried about you.

Picking your head up so you could look him in the eye, you saw just how scared Bucky truly was. “I promise, Buck, I loved every second of it. You made me feel so good and cared for. No one has ever made me feel the way you do.” Bucky closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall. At that moment, Bucky understood why aftercare was so important. Of course he knew you needed to be taken care of so that you knew how much he loved you, but hearing those words come out of your mouth made him feel loved in a way he didn’t know was possible.

Before the water gets cold you’ve stopped crying, making Bucky feel much better and he washes the sweat and spit off of your face and body, being extra careful with your sensitive pussy and ass. All the while whispering sweet nothings into your ear while you take turns kissing each other all over.

Bucky feels ten times lighter when he gets a giggle out of you. He knows that there will be days when you need him to treat you like a slut, but you know how much he loves and respects you. He lays you on the bed before grabbing your favorite lotion to put on, being extra careful when it comes to your sore ass, placing kisses in each spot after he's rubbed in the lotion.

The marks on your face are gone by now, but Bucky still fusses over your skin care routine, knowing you don’t have the energy to complete it. After taking care of you, he climbs into bed and covers the both of you up, still naked but you don’t care. Bucky reaches into the bedside drawer and grabs some chocolate while you feed it to each other. Neither of you say much, but nothing needs said.

You place kisses on his chest and arms, anywhere that you can reach, trying to let him know how much you appreciate him - Bucky knows. You fall asleep first, not being able to keep your eyes open any longer, Bucky moves you to his chest, cocooning you into him before he falls asleep, your head tucked carefully under his chin, legs tangled together, completely protected by him.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky x y/n #bucky imagine #bucky smut #bucky x female reader #bucky x you #sebastian stan x reader #bucky fanfic #james bucky barnes #dom bucky barnes #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan smut #james bucky buchanan barnes #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff

4K notes · View notes

jj-one · 2 months

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ೀ⋆ HOW COULD YOU BE SO RECKLESS WITH MY HEART ?!

[ . . . when they find out you were cheating on them ]

this is smut, do not interact if under 18

pairing: skz x fem!reader, established relationship genre/tags: smut, angst, crying, begging, punishments, spanking, oral (m & f receiving), choking, manhandling, heavy degradation, humiliation, cuckolding, recording/taking photos (?), voyeurism, piv, rough sex (lmk if i missed anything else!) words: 5.9k

[ note. ] heyyy, i’m back >:3 there’s no explanation for this other than i love angst and whenever i see cheating fics it’s never the reader cheating on them so i wanted to be messy and do this sjhgsjsk, i’m in no way endorsing this type of behavior— it’s for fictional purposes only !!

𖥔 ݁ ˖ Bang Chan

He didn’t know who he was more angry with, you or the son of a bitch who attempted even sliding in your DMs. The fact you accepted the prick’s message and entertained his flirtatious advances tipped him off the edge even further. It didn’t matter if you had zero intention on meeting up or not, it was the principle of it all, though it may not have been physical, emotional cheating still counts as cheating in his book. He felt beyond disrespected by what you did— had the roles been reversed and you found out he was texting other women in such a nature, there’d be hell to pay on his side within a heartbeat. He couldn’t focus much in the studio with a million thoughts burdening his mind, a sudden wave of insecurities come flooding in— was he simply not good enough for you? The realization of you talking to another guy made him feel sick to his stomach, he needed to address it with you before all this anxiety eats him to the core.

“Channie baby!” You rush towards him with open arms when he arrives back home, his black t-shirt felt slightly damp from the rain. “Did you walk home? You’re soaked! I can run you a warm bath an-”

“Nah, I’m good actually.” Chan quickly cuts you off, walking towards the kitchen. He didn’t bother to hug you back when you attempted to either, this was so unlike him which causes you to question his dodgy behavior in more detail.

“Long day at work huh?” You pry some more, doing anything you can to get him to say something.

“Yeah, guess you could say that.” He shrugs, still unbothered by your overall presence. That’s when you decide to come out with it and stop settling for his little mind games.

“Seriously, what’s up with you? Why is it whenever you have a problem you never want to talk it out? You’re always so reclusive and that’s what drives me away so much!” That last part didn’t mean to slip out but sometimes it’s good to hear harsh critique from your partner.

“Oh so that’s what it is? Me being gone for so long makes you wanna fuck around and go talking to other guys for fun? You’re not as sneaky as you think y/n, I know everything you do behind my back.” Chan was more than pissed at this point, he was livid, this was the highest level of betrayal you could achieve. There was no witty rebuttal you could come up with this time, only true remorse for your actions, it didn’t hit you until now that you he considers you as a cheater.

“Ch-channie, you know I w-wouldn’t do anything to hurt you… swear on my life! Just wanna make you happy.” You croak, being falsely accused of something you’re not was devastating— especially coming from him.

“You want to know what’ll make me happy then?” Chan’s voice gets lower, creeping his hands up around your neck. You look up in curiosity with big doe eyes, “W-what?”

“Get on your knees and let me use your face as my personal cum rag, then maybe, just maybe I’ll even consider giving you the satisfaction of my humble forgiveness. That’s only if I’m pleased with how well you take my cock in that whorish mouth of yours.” His merciless demands sent shivers through your body, but you comply to his order, willing to do anything he asks to mend your wrongdoings.

As your legs coil down to land on your knees, you come face to face with the outline of his cock through his gray sweatpants. You immediately went in to palm his erection but he angrily swats you away, “Tsk, tsk, tsk, always so eager to touch someone’s cock, so fucking dirty.. M’gonna teach you a little lesson on what happens to sluts like you, only thinking about dick, that’s all that lives in your mind huh?” He continues to taunt you, belittle you like you were nothing. In retrospect this was supposed to be a “punishment” however, you were enjoying every minute of it. His hand travels up to your chin, propping your face up slightly, grazing his fingers over your bottom lip— noticing a few tears well up in the corner of your eyes.

“Yeah, cry as much as you want honey, it’s not going to get you anywhere here. I’ll just use them as lube to make the pain less prominent for you while you take me further down your throat. You’re gonna wish you had never fucking tried some shit like that again sweetheart.”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Lee Know

“Minho, please it’s not what you thi-”

“Oh cut the fucking sob story and save the crocodile tears y/n! I know what I fucking saw, I’m not going to let you gaslight me into this one again.” Minho spat harshly, looking at you as if you were scum beneath him.

You know you fucked up royally, you know this is probably the end of your relationship but at this point you had nothing left to lose; doing everything you could to salvage any bit of sympathy out of him.

“It was just a kiss, it didn’t mean anything I swear! Wooyoung came onto me first!” You weren’t helping your case much, the fact you were still blaming everyone but yourself was astounding to Minho.

“And where’s your accountability in all this huh? You really expect me to believe that he coerced you into making out with him and not a single thought about you having a boyfriend crossed your mind? Must’ve thought I was born yesterday or some shit.” Minho expresses with utter disgust, “did you enjoy kissing that fucking bastard? Was he better at it than me? How many other guys have you sucked face with while I was gone? I bet you there’s so many you can’t even count, can’t believe I wasted all my time with someone as shameless as you are.” His degrading words were more than deserving, you kissed one of his friends and now that he’s found out he’s going to make you pay in a less than permissive way.

Heavy streams of tears roll down your cheeks as you mewl out in pain mixed with ample pleasure, crying out to Minho as he leaves several brute spankings to your rear, leaving your body in a beautifully bruised red state. “Nnngh!” You’d whine as his hand produces another harsh smack to your ass, hips involuntarily jolting forward from the sudden unexpected impact.

“That’s number 23 so far, almost halfway to 50.” He snickered, kneading the overly sensitive flesh. “Better be lucky this is just my hand and not a belt.” After a while of toying with you, it didn’t take long for him to get bored of that idea. Instead, he shifts you on your back now— ordering you to spread your legs far out for him. His hot breath permeating chills down your body, as he inches closer to your face, his lips brushed against yours causing you to pucker but he pulls away.

“Tch, you really think I’m gonna kiss that filthy mouth of yours? You’re gonna have to wash it out with soap before I even think of doing some shit like that.”

More tears fall out as you bear his cruel words, though what you did was morally flawed, his unrelenting demeanor was enough to scare you out of ever thinking of wanting another man. You kept profusely apologizing over and over again, repeating the same lines like a broken record, it was highly pathetic of you; he even chuckled at your sad efforts to be forgiven.

“You keep on saying you’re sorry yet I don’t believe a single word you say.” He cocks his head to the side in amusement, “I just wonder if this was your plan to begin with, to get me all hot and bothered over you. Was this all worth it for you? Seeing me worked up like this? You truly are a sick, twisted individual.” You nervously gulp at his harsh tone, pondering the vicious grin that’s plastered on his face. Nothing could’ve prepared you for what’s soon to come.

“Want to act like a whore then you’ll get treated as such. I’m gonna relish in the fact that I have full control over you, I’m going to enjoy edging you until you can’t physically take it anymore. You can scream and shout to your hearts fullest content but I’ll drown out every bit of it, I’m going to give you pure hell all night.”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Changbin

What you had with Changbin was toxic yet you couldn’t seem to escape his hold no matter how hard you tried. When he gets jealous he turns into an absolute menace when in bed with you, as if something otherworldly possessed him to act in such a way. Sex with him is great, almost too good to be true at times, but when he gets angry it’s filled with even more hasty passion— you can’t get enough of it. Your relationship over the course of 8 months have been nothing but turbulent, breaking up and getting back together constantly since you two butt heads a lot, he’s got a stubborn attitude and your smart mouth combined with that is a disaster waiting to spew. But when you’re both on a “break” you still can’t stay away from each other, even if you go around seeing other people you find yourself in Changbin’s bed every night, acting as if you weren’t just telling him to fuck off earlier.

“I heard from one of the guys you fucked Chan, if you’re gonna be a cheating skank at least don’t choose one of my friends.” He gripes, the judgmental glare he’s giving you left you with clear discomfort.

“What is to you if I did fuck him anyway? We’re not even together right now, you have no room to even be upset with me!” You spoke defensively, trying not to let him think his insults were getting to you.

He rolls his eyes in response, he wasn’t having any of it. If it was anyone else but Chan he probably wouldn’t have been as mad, but you went too far this time and now he’s going to show who has true ownership over you.

“You’re just never satisfied with having only guy in your life, always wanting more ‘cause you’re such a greedy little pup. This is why we don’t work out, you’re so easy to move on to the next guy who shows you any slightest bit of attention.” You shook your head at his statement but as his hands wrap the base of your neck, your body stills its movement.

Changbin snickers at your daring courage to challenge him, he ought to remind you that he is the only one you come home to at night, not all those other pieces of shit that just use you to bust a quick nut.

“I don’t like to fucking share what’s mine, you come here every single day to fuck and you still mess around with other guys? The fuck is wrong with you?” The bass in his voice grew deeper as he continued interrogating with questions, “Why would you need anyone else when I’m right here y/n? Are you really that much of a whore you need to get dick from my own goddamn friends? Just when I think you couldn’t go any lower, you pull this shitty stunt on me…”

Truth be told, you have no idea why you did it. Maybe he’s right, you secretly liked the adrenaline of the attention Chan gave you in that moment. You craved the same feeling from Changbin, except he was never emotionally available, he always seemed mentally drained by the relationship. This was the first time in months you’ve seen him act out of his usual nonchalant manner.

“I know you’re upset with me… but please be reasonable. We were— still are on a break, cut me some slack Bin, I’m sorry if I-”

“Fuck an apology. I don’t care enough to accept such bullshit from you anyway.” An apology meant nothing to him, the only thing he wanted was to make you writhe under his touch and wipe out all the memories of Chan from your brain. The strong grip he’s held against your neck tightens as he slams you into the wall behind, biting his lip at the sight of your disgruntled expression.

“Can Chan make you cum as hard with his fingers like I do? Can he make you a drooling mess while having you shaking and sobbing all over my cock? I bet he can’t give you the most mind blowing orgasms like my mouth does, he doesn’t understand your body like I do, no one ever will. I’m the only one that gets to touch you, please you, fuck you— you belong to me. Know your place and tread lightly darling, never forget that.”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Hyunjin

It all started when he noticed you getting a little too close with Felix, the way you’d drag out a laugh even if what he said wasn’t that funny, to how you stare into his gaze for far too long while fluttering your eyelashes. Though your gestures were subtle, it didn’t take much for Felix to become a blushy and flustered mess from you being a natural flirt, he never knew how to react since Hyunjin, your boyfriend of almost 2 years, was standing right there. Oddly enough though, Hyunjin didn’t seem to mind it all, in fact it was doing the complete opposite, he was getting slowly turned on by the idea of you hitting on his friends in front of him.

Then the scenarios of you hooking up with Felix became more vivid, he’d think about it constantly throughout the day. It got so bad to a point where it was all he could think about when the three of you were together, he couldn’t shake off the idea anymore— he had to finally act upon it.

“I want you to have sex with Felix in front of me.” Hyunjin proposed randomly to you while watching a movie.

You almost choked on your popcorn as he said that, completely caught off guard by his unexpected statement.

“You want me to what?” You reiterate, still trying to process what he just said, this was seemingly random coming from him and he’s never shown any interest in this kind of topic before.

“Look, I know this is probably weird to you but I’ve been having these fantasies lately…” he slowly trails off but eventually continues, “I think about you cheating on me with Felix a lot, but I- I find it really hot for some reason.”

You couldn’t seem to wrap your head around what he was saying, none of it made sense to you but if this was something he’s expressing interest in then maybe it won’t be so bad to try it.

“So… let me get this straight, you want me to sleep with your best friend and you’re completely okay with it?”

Hyunjin nods in agreement, “pretty much yeah.”

The fact he barely hesitated made you even more uneasy, he must have been thinking about this for a while. Since the whole point of his fantasy was to feel like you were cheating on him, he wanted you make the first move on Felix, to gauge his reaction and test the waters first. By doing so, you’d amp up your flirtatious banter with him— making him even more of a flustered mess than he already is. Hyunjin seemed to be enjoying everything so far, watching you from across the table, acting as a simple bystander. Little did Felix know what was about to ensue a few hours later.

“Fuck yes! Just like that Lix, keep going- mmpfh!” You moan out in pleasure from Felix’s cock hitting all the right spots inside. Your legs wrapped around his waist, locking him in place as he plunged deeper into your walls. He’s not sure not how he got into this situation but the way your pussy clenches around his girth makes his brain short circuit for a second. Your juices continuously gush out onto him as he keeps up a steady pace, pounding into you like no tomorrow.

“God this cunt feels amazing…” he grunts, throwing his head back at the feeling of you swallowing him whole. He almost forgot that Hyunjin was sitting in the corner of the room, observing all of this in amusement. Hyunjin knew he was a total cuck for doing this, letting his own best friend have his way with you and not do a single thing about it, that was the fun in all of it though; he never realized how much he loved you cheating on him. His cock twitched from the sight of you getting fucked by another man, it left him with a sense of inferiority but in a turned on, masochist kind of way. Hyunjin couldn’t help but encourage it, he was probably getting the most gratification out of this.

“So fucking dirty… you like having someone else’s cock fill you up while I watch? Always knew you were such a naughty girl, nothing but a hole for anyone to stretch, you take Lixie so well too. You sure you’ve never cheated on me before in the past? You seem to be enjoying this a little too much.”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Han Jisung

As if today couldn’t get any fucking worse, Han was infuriated when he found out you’ve been sexting other guys, he know it’s inherently wrong to be snooping through your phone while you’re not looking— but being the overly protective boyfriend he is he just can’t help it. When he saw all the messages of you talking to those guys the same exact way you talk to him privately, he felt his vision almost go black. He couldn’t wrap his conscience around the idea of the person he once thought was going to spend all of eternity with could stab in the back like this and betray him in such a vile way. It wasn’t easy for him to accept the truth of your cheating habits, Han was in complete denial himself.

He was more so disgusted with the fact those men thought they even stood a chance with you, there’s no way in hell he’d even let you anyone touch or come near you. Sadly, his entire world revolved around the sole purpose of keeping you happy, he’d rather die than have you out of his life. Even if that meant turning a blind eye and allowing you to continue with this unacceptable behavior. All he wanted was some simple answers, he just wants to understand why you’d do something like this in the first place.

“Just tell me where I’m going wrong babe, please. Tell me and I’ll fix it. We can work through this, just don’t leave me baby. You’re all I have, I can’t lose you too… please, I’m not ready to give up on us yet, I need you.” The glossiness of tears welling up in his eyes weighed tons on your morality, you should be the one who’s saying all of this— not the other way around. You should feel ashamed of what you did, all the damage you’re causing him but you have nothing to say; not a single word left your deceitful mouth.

“Do I really not deserve any explanation? Not even a simple, “I’m sorry.”? Is this what it’s really come to now, can’t even look me in the eye and apologize for having me out here looking stupid, remaining loyal to you even when I’m tempted at times… I’ve shown you nothing but love and honesty while all you’ve been doing is lying to my face and planning to hook up with other guys while you’re cooped up right next to me, do you know how worthless that makes me feel y/n?” He continued pouring all his emotions out, yet you still give him a blank stare, as if none of this was affecting you.

“Answer me y/n, why do you keep fucking lying to me?!” Though he kept asking, you still didn’t have a clear response for him, you yourself couldn’t even understand why you did it, it was more a spur of the moment thing. You simply wanted the attention, the thrill of it all, it was a horrifying revelation but you had no other excuse.

“Han, I-I’m really sorry for what I’ve done. Words can’t express enough how deeply guilty I feel… I’m just- I don’t know- maybe this relationship just isn’t working out for me anymore.”

“Shh shh, don’t say things you don’t mean, take it back now baby.”

What the hell are you doing to him? Was this really your way of saying that you wanted to officially break up? The sudden turn of events from wanting to work things out to the possibility of losing you made him regret being too harsh on you, though it was more than warranted, he wanted to keep this relationship alive, he couldn’t succumb to the idea of you walking out of his life this easily.

“Are you saying you want to end t-this…?” His voice cracks, visibly shaken up by your apparent coldness.

“Yeah, I think it’s for the best honestly... You deserve someone better than me.” It may have been semi-manipulative of you to say that but it was truth, he did deserve better, someone who wasn’t going to cheat on him and will properly communicate when they want out of something. “You’re just too… clingy for me Han. You’re overbearing at times, I want to be the one for you I really do, but I’m not. This isn’t working anymore for me, I know how selfish this sounds but I miss being single…” your confession hit him hard, he didn’t want to accept it, not when you made him the happiest he’s ever been.

“As much as it kills me to hear that, I’ll respect it.. but can you at least let me touch you… just for last time’s sake..? I’d be lying to myself if I said I wouldn’t miss eating you out every day, getting to make you feel good, watching you moan out my name as you cum for me. Will you let me do it again, please? I’ll let you go in peace if that’s what you really want, just let me show you what you’ll be missing afterwards.”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Felix

“Why have you been so cold towards me lately? Is there something that’s been going on that you won’t tell me about? You can tell me anything, I swear— I’m here to listen to your concerns babe.” Felix wouldn’t stop bombarding you with a plethora of questions, he doesn’t know what he’s done wrong. Soon as you get home from work you go straight upstairs without talking, you barely acknowledge him anymore and it’s been driving a wedge between your relationship and how you coexist together.

“I’m fine, seriously, stop asking!” You hiss, trying to shrug him off as you make your way into the bathroom.

You know what you’re saying is farthest from the truth, you’ve been harboring massive amounts of guilt since you made an irreversible mistake a week ago. The night you drunkenly hooked up with someone else at a nightclub— which has been weighing heavily on your conscience every waking moment. You couldn’t even look at him the same anymore, you’ve completely killed the spark between each other, he may not have known it yet but you had to be the one to break it to him.

“C’mon y/n… I know you’re clearly not okay. I’m not an idiot, I know how distant you’ve been acting, it’s quite obvious actually. You won’t even let me touch you anymore, I don’t understand how someone can just flip a switch like that. Is there someone else you’re seeing? Be honest, whatever you have to say to me I can handle it… just tell me the truth please y/n!” Felix couldn’t help but tear up as he begged for answers, his pleas were taking a toll on you— tugging at your heartstrings. It was time to come clean once and for all.

“I-I cheated on you last week..” you anxiously mutter, you couldn’t believe such a sentence came out of your mouth.

“You what…?” He blinks rapidly, in utter disbelief of your sudden admission, mouth slightly agape from shock, he felt his world crumbling beneath him. You kept making all the sorry excuses you could, saying you were drunk and how much it meant nothing to you, the more you tried explaining though, the more he didn’t want to listen.

“So you slept with someone else a week ago and didn’t even bother telling me ‘til now? Un-fucking-believable…” He scoffs, unable to even look at you in the same innocent light he once did.

Stumbling over words as you muster up the nerve to continue asking for forgiveness, it was truly pitiful of you to even think he’d hold any compassion for you, it was your actions that led you here to begin with.

“Felix please don’t leave- I know I fucked up but I can make it up to you, p-promise!”

“And how the fuck are you gonna do that y/n? Build a time machine to go back and change everything? Do you hear how idiotic that sounds? You must be high out of your mind right now.”

“Lix j-just hear me out, I was blackout drunk and didn’t fully understand the consequences of it a-”

“That doesn’t make it any better y/n! Fuck, all the shit I do for you and you hit me with this lame pile of shit, I’m so through with your sorry ass, it’s over.” You wished you could take back everything you did but what’s done is already done, there is no redo or fixing any part of the past.

“Strip.” He aggressively orders in his deep voice, you were hesitant on doing it at first but it wasn’t until he started doing it for you that you eventually complied to his rules.

You felt as though there was nothing you could do in this situation but submit to him, taking off every piece of clothing— leaving you in nothing but your tiny thong that barely covered anything. He forcibly makes you get onto your knees, facing the apparent bulge through his jeans— he’s never been the type to like seeing you cry nor completely powerless but this was different. He wanted revenge, wanted to humiliate you in the same way you did to him.

“I’m gonna post these in the groupchat just to show how much of a greedy, fucking whore you are.” Felix couldn’t even recognize himself, he’s never been so domineering as he was now. He kept pushing your head further down as you took his cock deep, down your throat, his hips bucking into a steady rhythm that made you see flashes of white and stars combined. After he snaps a couple shots of you sucking him off, he immediately sends them to all of his friends, not having a single care in the world what they do with those photos. It was simply payback for what you did, you deserved this after all.

“I hope one day you realize how good you had it with me, you fucking slut— you’ve completely ruined my trust forever. You’re the most heartless, conniving person I’ve ever known in my life and I mean every bit of it. Don’t come cryin’ to me once this is all over, I don’t wanna hear it, pack your shit and get out of my house. I should’ve known you were nothing but a damn nightmare since I heard about you.”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Seungmin

Never in his lifetime would he think of you ever pulling a stunt like this, finding out you did some of the most unspeakable acts with someone in the same house you two share together. It was the biggest slap in the face to him, completely crushed his ego. Seungmin gave you a chance to explain yourself but as you continued he couldn’t bear to keep listening anymore.

“How could you even do this to me, just lied to my face this whole fucking time y/n, I trusted you.” He proceeds to go on a mindless tangent, “do you have any ounce of morals? Dignity? You played me so bad and I fell for every bit of it, fell for all the lies you’ve been feeding me for months on end.”

You want to give as honest of a response as possible but the lump in your throat causes you to stir, the only reaction was to sob in this moment.

“Awe, is that a tear I see? Is the wittle cheating slut gonna start cwying for me?” He mocks condescendingly, tilting his head to the side in fake amusement. This only made you cry more, feeling all types of shame and guilt for your heinous actions, what you did was unacceptable, unforgivable. Seungmin saw right through you, he knew you were only crying because you got caught, not because you were truly remorseful. Everything about you seemed inauthentic, he doesn’t know who you are anymore truthfully.

“I- I can explain.” You dolefully attempt to speak, nothing would help your case anyway, it didn’t matter how hard you tried.

“What is there to explain y/n? I saw you fucking another guy in our bed, I think that should be self explanatory in itself.” He’s more than right, however, you still manage to reason with him.

“It was just sex, he didn’t matter to me at all like you do, I’m sorry— I know you’ll never forgive me but all I can say is I’m really sorry… you’ll probably want to kick me out after this and I don’t blame you- just give me time to fix this and I’ll do anything to gain your trust back!”

Seungmin wishes he could’ve recorded this conversation, the way you’re so oblivious to how this is hurting him more than you could even comprehend. He had every right to yell at you, tell you how much of a terrible person you are, but he won’t do that, he can’t— it was all too much for him to handle.

“You want to regain my trust after I just saw my own girlfriend of one year and a half getting her back blown out by some random dude in my fucking bed?” The audacity you had was insane, you were acting more than entitled.

Reconciling the detriment of your relationship was futile by now. You had no more fight left within, seemingly ready to give up on everything you’ve built thus far. Seungmin notices you look mentally checked out of all this, causing him to be deeply irritated. He really wanted to give you benefit of the doubt but you weren’t budging one bit.

“You know what I despise the most y/n? Liars. They absolutely disgust me.” He seethes, pushing you backwards onto the bed you just cheated on him in. Your eyes roll up as you feel the shuddering sensation of teeth sinking into your neck, legs flailing around as you had both arms pinned down.

“Did it feel good to lie to my face? Is this some kind of demented kink you have? I bet you don’t even give a shit how I’m feeling right now.” His tone became more serious as he ranted, lashing everything out on you. When the slight contact of his cock brushes against your clothed slit, the immediate response you gave was bucking your hips, receiving a sinister glare from him. His legs lock your thighs in place, unable to shift a muscle. Your whines only grew louder, he was never going to give you the satisfaction of moving.

“You think I’m really gonna let you move? Silly little slut, that’s only reserved for girls that aren’t lying cheaters like you. I’m so going to make you pay for this, you have no idea… I better not hear a peep outta you and I sure as hell better not feel you make any sudden movement. There will be harsh outcomes if you try it, I fucking dare you.”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Jeongin

You knew you were in such deep shit once he arrives back at your apartment, Jeongin texted you this morning— exposing all the dirty shit you’ve been doing in secret. He was practically speeding down the highway with rage, thinking about you getting off with some other guy and playing in his face knowing the whole time what you were doing. The fact you kept repeating over text how sorry you were for your actions just aggravated him even more, he was about to give you the rudest awakening. Jeongin bursts through the door, fuming as he walks in to only be welcomed by your continuous begs and pleads. It was quite pitiful seeing you like this, usually he likes seeing you on your knees but not in this context…

Your lips tremble as you spoke, barely able to chalk up the will to keep going, you wanted to show your sincere remorse but Jeongin wasn’t going to let you off the hook so easily.

“I don’t think you should be apologizing to me. You should be apologizing to yourself for how much of a huge slut you are.” He scorns viciously, “you have no one but yourself to blame, this could’ve all been easily avoided if you’d just close you’re fucking legs for once!” It wasn’t like him to get this loud and it was the first time he’s yelled at you like this.

“I just- I don’t know what I was thinking babe, I wasn’t in the right mind.” The more you try and justify your despicable cheating only aggravates him further. He wants nothing to do with you after this, but that doesn’t mean he won’t give you the most deranged post breakup sex as a final farewell and good riddance.

“Guess you really can’t turn a hoe into a housewife, so I’ll just fuck you like one instead.” You swallow his words harshly, it pained you to hear these things come out of his mouth but he was right.

To put it simply, you were for the streets; there wasn’t one redeemable quality in you. Jeongin demands you to stand up, telling you to get on the couch with your ass up in the air since looking at your face would only make his dick go soft.

“Who’d you cheat on me with, huh?” He asks sternly.

“It d-doesn’t matter anymore.” You try reasoning but he won’t allow you to hide anything else from him.

“I’m not going to ask again, tell me who you fucking cheated on me with, now.” A hand harshly spanks you from behind, letting a tiny whine escape as you dig further into the couch to brace yourself.

“B-beomgyu...”

“Gyu?? Are you fucking serious, of all people it had to be one of my closest fucking friends? You really are the biggest whore after all.” Jeongin was so done with you at this point, he just wanted to fuck you until you couldn’t physically walk anymore, it was only right for what you’re putting him through.

He slid your panties aside and pushed himself in without warning, making you scream out as he held your hips aggressively in place.

“Fuckk- you’re still so tight, did he even fuck you? Barely stretched this pussy out for me.” He grunts, producing deeper strokes, feeling your ass cheeks clap against him. “I fucking hate you, so much.”

The waterworks only continue as he kept degrading you, this was all you’ve succumb to now, just a toy for anyone to use as much as they please. Your head slightly bobs up from his length ramming harder into you, he only pushes your face further into the cushion as he berates you more with disdain, “Didn’t I say don’t move? A useless hole like you should know when to take directions, always so fucking eager to screw someone else other than me, so goddamn pathetic.” He hissed, ignoring your cries for him to slow his pace but only gets more hostile with you.

“God.. will you shut your fucking mouth already? No matter how much you cry and beg I’m not going to stop. You’ve got some real nerve to even be acting outta line, wow, you truly disgust me. Gonna make you feel the same pain I’m feeling— don’t care how bad it hurts, I’ll make you regret ever even meeting me.”

589 notes · View notes

churipu · 9 months

Note

Idk if u take requests rn, but if you do, could you write fluffy moments with jjk men (pls include toji, i rlly wanna see him w fluff because there is like none) you fav would be cuddling, but you do whatever you want <3 Also, don't stress yourself when writing i, and please take breaks <33

JJK MEN + FLUFFY MOMENTS (๑ > ᴗ < ๑)

featuring. toji fushiguro, gojo satoru, nanami kento x reader

warnings. jjk men being softies

note. i just read the most heart wrenching nanami fic, i think i'm not okay at all </3 but hi anon, thank you for requesting this — this is exactly what i needed after reading angst. i apologize if it took a long time to get this out omg, i hope you like it.

and guys, omg???? 700+ followers? i genuinely never expected my works to be recognized by so much, and meeting new writers here and there, making friends, makes me so happy (i'm not crying) i love u all so so so so much, u guys rock, ily all <;33

TOJI FUSHIGURO

hated talking about the future, but ever since he met you — he rambles about it.

toji has always thought his future was nothing interesting, he kills people for a living, gets money off of it and he gambles. that's about it, so what was there to think about in the future?

meeting you was the firsts to a lot of things in his life.

toji grew up in a loveless household full of anger, and lust for power. which is why he is who he is today. distant, aloof, detached. people tell him he'd be nothing without his strength and face, there is no denying that toji fushiguro has a face card. he knows that.

so when he first met you, all he expected was like every other day. people caring about his face, and only that — and he'd play along although he's had enough of it, but no; you didn't care about all that.

face, money, strength. none of that.

he vaguely remembered the first time you spoke to him: "hey, mind helping me grab that box of cereal?" and he expected you to hit on him after, but you left it at that, muttering out a thanks and then leaving him in the aisle alone.

then for some reason he meets you again, the very next month. asking him the exact same thing, asking for help to take the cereal box which happened to be on the very top of the shelf. god knows why, both you and him just made it a routine every month after that. no communications about meeting and all. you both kind of just, met right in the cereal aisle on one particular day in the month, and then leave.

on the fifth month, he finally asks for your number.

"toji, is that your way of asking me out? because if it is, i'm disappointed."

"maybe."

and then you both kind of just sealed it; you're dating. nothing much changed, every month both you and him still go to the cereal aisle — he still helps you with grabbing the box from the shelf. the only difference was that now the two of you leave together.

toji hates talking about his future. but with you? he could go on for a whole day. he rambles about what he thinks and what he wants in the future with you.

"i wan' to get married. i wan' to marry you," did it caught you by surprise? yes. yes it did, "i wan' to have a family with you, a nice little family. i wan' to have a son so i could throw him around — but a girl is okay too, i can protect her from boys, i'll love them both equally. but i don't think i'll be a good dad to them. i'm scared they won't like me."

"toji, what? where did that come from?"

his back was pressed to your chest as you both lay down on the bed, one of your leg draped over his torso and he has his hand on your plush thigh, squeezing it every once in a while.

"i don't know. just a thought, i never talked about my future with anyone before," his body vibrated as he grunted, leaning his head back a bit, "i just don't think i'll be a good father, y'know?" he squeezed your thigh.

"why do you think so?" you asked him, placing your chin on the crown of his head.

"i just think so."

"stop thinking then," you chuckles, draping an arm around his neck, caressing his throat so softly it made the male shudder under your touch — but he didn't mind, he took comfort under your skin.

"can't." his voice was not stern or bold, it was soft and serene. he laced his fingers with yours, kissing your knuckles gently, "i can't believe 'm saying this, but 'm worried about my future. 'm a little scared."

just the fact he was admitting that he's scared about something was mind boggling, because the toji fushiguro? who kills people? was admitting that he was actually terrified of something, which wasn't even the strongest sorcerer. it's his future.

you were silent, letting him talk because when else would he be able to be like this?

"'m terrified. 'm scared i won't make you happy. what if i don't make you happy? what if my kids hate me?" so many questions that you don't even have the answer to, but you placed your hand over his lips, shutting him up.

toji grumbled, he swiped his tongue over your palm.

"ew!" you laugh, wiping your hand on his shirt, "but why're you suddenly talking about this all? which videos have you been watching again?"

"nothing, can't i think about my own future with you?" he shuffles, turning to face you, prepping an arm under his head as he stares down at you. not in the condescending way — he stared at you with so much desperation for love, he slowly blinks, the glint in his eyes never changing.

"why out of the blue?"

"jus' because."

you poked his cheek, "liar."

he sighs, latching his hand onto your hips, pulling you close. he buries his head into your shoulder in content, "jus' worried about it, i never think about my future in the past. but now — with you, i jus' worry about it because i didn't think i'd make it 'till now."

you chuckled, rubbing the back of his head lightly, "you remember that one time in the park when you see that little boy crying over spilled ice cream?"

he hums softly.

"and you bought him another ice cream, but asked me to be the one to give it to him because you were scared you'd scare him off instead?" you ask him, your fingers tangling with his hair lightly.

"yeah."

"you'll be fine, toji." you tell him.

"y'think so?" he retorts back, squirming a bit.

"i know so."

GOJO SATORU

he has to know about everything that you like, he needs to know why you like them. every. single. thing.

gojo chased after you. you were one tough cookie, he likes a chase. he's so used to people fawning over his looks that when you didn't — he just has to know your name.

the curiosity to know your name ended up pulling him in a spiral of this little thing called "love". gojo swore it was just curiosity, but everyone else besides him thinks otherwise, he promised himself and people around that he didn't like you, he was just, well, curious.

but curiosity doesn't look like that. gojo finds himself asking people about what type of boys you like, and when he finds out about it — he tries his best to be your type. he promised he was just curious.

gojo tries finding out what your favorite flower is, and when he finds out about it, he's out there sending big bouquets of it to you. he promised he was just curious.

gojo tries finding out what your favorite genre of music is, and when he finds out, he listens to them so he could talk about it with you. he promised he was just curious.

gojo tries finding out what your favorite series or movie is, and when he finds out, he watches them all intently so he could talk about them with you and hate on characters together with you. and he still promises that he was just curious.

he was just curious, he kept telling that to himself. so why does it bother him when you were out with another guy? another guy that's not him. not gojo satoru.

gojo asks you about who it was, and when you tell him it's nobody important, he gets upset about it.

"why are you so upset?"

"i'm just..curious."

"it's none of your business."

he left it at that. his whole week was ruined, he couldn't stop thinking about it. about you. and then he finally realizes, he wasn't curious — he was in love. so there he was, in front of your door at two in the morning.

"what?"

"who was that guy?"

"gojo, you're still onto that?" you ask him, tired, "i said it's none of your business. you're here at two just to ask me about that?"

"it's my business because i'm in love with you, damn it!"

gojo was half grateful when you told him it was your distant cousin, but half embarrassed as well. all's well ends well. he gets you in the end, and he doesn't have to worry about anything else — nothing in the world matters to him but you.

"baby, what do you recommend?" was one of the most spoken phrases he has delivered to you.

in restaurants, dessert bars, convenience store, movie theaters, anything you could recommend him, he'd ask for it.

"why do you always ask? don't you have your own preference, satoru? i'm not even sure if you'll like my recommendations though," he smiles at you, tracing small circled on the back of your hand.

"i want to know about everything that you like, and why you like them. i want to know everything about you," you look at him and smiled, honestly, what did we ever do to deserve him?

"why?"

"because i love you." yeah, he wasn't just curious. he's in love. and deep.

NANAMI KENTO

he always orders food that you like, and shares some with you — even if you didn't ask for it.

nanami never expected to be in relationships. in fact, relationships was the last thing in his mind — but when he met you, he just kind of felt attracted. he seeks for your comfort whenever he's tired, and when you weren't there, nanami just sort of drowns in himself until he could see you or hear your voice.

at the beginning of your relationship, nanami was never the one to initiate things because he wasn't an experienced male in relationships. you ask him and he just sort of do it without any other complaints.

but as time goes on, he get the hang of it. what he should do and what he shouldn't — it's adorable, he's started doing things that he never thought he would do in his life, but here he was sitting by your side; peeling apples for you because you wanted them.

"kento, eat some. it's going to be finished by the time you finish peeling every one of them," you joked, your legs on top of his thighs.

nanami hums softly, "it's okay. as long as you like it."

nanami doesn't realize the weigh of his sweet words sometimes, he does it and asks himself to why you were reacting like that. sweet talk is his vocabulary. he says it with no worries, telling you things you've always wanted to hear but never say.

but one thing that always stuck to him and you from the first time you got close up to now was: nanami always orders things that you like. you never understood the reason behind it, and when you tried asking him about it, he just tells you he was craving it.

it didn't seem odd at first — but as time goes on, his whole taste was just an exact copy of yours.

if you get something different than your usual menu, nanami will get your usual menu because he knows damn well that you're going to end up wanting them. although you don't tell him when the food comes, nanami makes it his job to share with you. and that's really sweet of him.

but when you get your usual menu, nanami orders something with elements that you like in them and shares them with you even without you asking for a bite. and not only that, he didn't share a spoonful — he shared a lot.

"ken, you don't have to share with me. i have my own food." you tell him, despite your heart tugging you to just let him share because you were too shy to say that you wanted a bite.

"it's alright sweetheart. i'm a little full." he lies. he ends up snacking on something on midnight, and it's now a routine.

so in exchange for that, you always make it your job to stock up foods ranging from small snacks like biscuits, chips, up to instant or pre-heated food. even cutting up fruits so nanami could snack on it, and he caught on to it pretty quick.

but he didn't complain, he likes it when you do it.

"ken, i cut out some mangoes and dragon fruit. you can eat them if you're hungry."

"thank you y/n."

mutual wins.

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mountttmase · 2 months

Text

The Way You Love Me

Note - I promised never to write a fic as long as what I need again but this is longer by 3k so sorry about that 😭 this fic would be nothing without @masonmtxo and just thank you so much for all the hours we spent brainstorming this cause I just had so much fun 🩷 this one’s for you bestie 🤗 this fic is a part two of Like Magnets so if you haven’t read that first please do but if you don’t want to hopefully you can keep up! Love you guys I hope you enjoy and feedback is appreciated 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 24.2k

Warnings - smut fluff and angst

You still remember that morning you woke up next to Mason for the first time after you’d reacquainted the night before. You’d been crying like a crazy person and as a result could barely open your eyes but you laid on his chest and watched him intently.

You loved the way his brows were pinched, making him look pissed off in his sleep. It made your heart feel soft and you couldn’t help but reach out to touch them to try and smooth them out. Your fingers shifting him awake slightly but it was worth it so see the smile on his face when his eyes landed on yours.

‘Good morning beautiful’ he sighed, pulling you in closer before leaving a soft kiss on your forehead. ‘You look like you’ve been punched in both eyes’

‘Very funny’ you laughed, rubbing at your eyes to try and do something with them but you knew nothing would make a difference. You could feel they were still swollen from all the crying you’d done last night but right now it was worth it to wake up next to him. ‘Do you have to rush off or do you want breakfast?’

‘I’ll probably have to go sweetheart, I need to get to training’ he pouted and even though you knew that was probably the case you were still sad about him leaving.

‘Okay’ you whispered, a sad smile on your face as he tucked some hair behind your ear and you could tell he was wracking his brain to try and think of something to make you smile.

‘Do you wanna come over to mine tonight?’ He offered, holding your jaw as he stroked your cheek gently and you cursed yourself at that being all it took to make your face light up like the sun.

‘Really? Already?’

‘Yeah, I’m not hiding you or anything anymore. I want you to be a part of my life for real’ he confirmed and even though you told him last night you wanted to take things slow you also knew you had more to talk about. ‘So you’ll come?

‘Okay’ you whispered, giddy and excited about seeing him later and you could see from the smile he was giving you that he felt exactly the same.

‘I’ll send you the address, yeah? And I’ll have dinner waiting for you’

‘I might reconsider in that case’ you joked and the look of shock on his face made you giggle.

‘Cheeky, I’ll get you back for that’ he teased, feeling him move his hands to your waist so he could tickle you relentlessly until you were practically begging him to stop. Pulling him down for a kiss in the end to distract him and you couldn’t help but let out a content hum at the way you melted into each other.

So you went to his that night, him texting you the address along with one of the animal facts he’d saved for you just as promised and you weren’t sure what to expect. It was just his flat as Robin was still in the house but it was still nicer than what you had and you could tell Robin had never set foot in here. It was a man cave to a T but you could tell he’d tidied up a bit for you. Letting you know he’d ordered food so you were safe and you spent the evening cuddled up on the sofa stealing sweet kisses from each other.

‘I like it here, it’s calm’ you commented after a while, watching the corners of his lips tilt up into a soft smile.

‘Well whenever you wanna drop by you can, you know I love having you around’

‘I might take you up on that’ you winked and he was quick to kiss you again. The pair of you not able to keep your hands off of each other it seemed but you weren’t complaining. You’d missed his touch more than you’d realised over the weeks you’d spent apart and now you were back you felt that same force sticking you together again.

‘I hope you do’ he laughed before his face turned serious as he gripped your chin to look at you. ‘What do you think about me introducing you to some people properly soon?

‘Oh? Um I mean-‘

‘Yeah I mean some of my mates know who you are and I’ll tell my family about us soon I promise. You know like when the timings good and-‘

‘Mase wait’ you interrupted. Wanting to stop him in his tracks as he’d clearly got a little ahead of himself and forgot that you’d requested to take things slowly, the thought of having to let him down a bit made your heart hurt but you knew you had to be strong on this one .

‘What’s wrong?’

‘It’s just, it’s a bit fast for me’ you whispered, the sudden realisation changing Mason’s expression in an instant and thankfully you didn’t get the vibe that we was mad or anything.

‘Oh no not you’re right, sorry I just got a bit excited. We've got loads of time for that’

‘I just-‘

‘You don’t need to explain’ he smiled, cutting you off with a quick kiss. ‘You need time and I know that. I’m happy to wait until you’re ready, okay? And if I’m this pushy again just tell me to back off. I’ll take what you give me, just like we agreed’

‘Okay’ you whispered, your heart soaring at the fact he’s actually listened to you and was respecting your boundaries but It wasn’t just Mason going fast that made you pump the brakes. You were nervous about everything that would come with being in his world and meeting everyone as you weren’t sure what people might think of you or if they’d have something to say, but thankfully you were keeping things on the down low for now. Agreeing that you’d take it slow and since the evening you’d spent at his you’d only physically seen him once in three weeks when he came over to yours for a movie night and you realised how much you loved being around him again.

You’d kept in touch with messages and the odd facetime but you missed his touch, his kisses and the way your head fit so perfectly on his chest so after your dinner plans fell through one night, you thought it would be nice to surprise him in hopes you could cook for him or treat him to a takeaway. Taking him up on his offer of popping over whenever you liked and heading over straight from work without letting him know you were on the way.

You weren’t expecting the door to open to a mop of blonde curls though. Their face eyeing you curiously before they sent you a friendly smile and it finally clicked that you’d seen this person before.

‘Oh hey, y/n right? It's nice to see you again’

‘Y-yeah that’s me’ you nodded. Face to face with the boy from the first night you met Mason who didn’t seem to take too kindly to you. ‘Woody right?’

‘Yeah, that’s me’ he laughed, stepping back and nodding you in but you felt awkward and shy and you stepped inside.

‘Sorry, I had no idea you’d be here I was just gonna speak to Mase about something but it’s fine I can come back another time’ you told him, hoping to make it seem like you were just popping in rather than going with the expectation of staying a while.

‘No don’t be silly, come in’ he smiled before you followed him into the sitting room, wondering if Mason would be in there but when you turned the corner there was no one else around. ‘He’s not stopped yapping about you since I’ve seen him. We’re only watching a film so it’s fine, he’s actually just ordering some food. You eaten?’

‘Oh no I um-‘

‘You know what he’s like, eyes bigger than his belly so I’m sure there will be plenty. You might as well stay and eat with us’ he offered and even though his attitude seemed to have done a 180 and he was being more than welcoming you still felt weird about intruding.

‘Are you sure?’

‘Definitely’ he smiled, before he gulped and you knew he was getting ready to say something else. Your heart rate picking up at what might be an awkward encounter but he was talking before you could tell him to stop. ‘Listen, I kinda wanted to talk to you anyway at some point and now seems like as good a time as any. I wanted to apologise for that night, you know when you first met him? I know I didn’t come across as very friendly but you know it was never you right?’

‘I know, you don’t have to be sorry’ you told him, knowing he was just looking out for Mason and it was clear to see he had his back over anything. ‘It was weird for everyone, like I knew nothing at the time and I know you were just looking out for him’

‘I was, and I know how tough things have been for him but I can’t tell you how happy you make him’ he laughed, feeling your cheeks flush straight away at his confession. You knew Mason made you happy but to hear it coming from someone so close to him meant more than anything. ‘It’s like having a whole different Mason around’

‘Well he makes me happy too’ you nodded, speaking quietly as you were embarrassed to admit to him. ‘I know it’s been rocky and weird but-‘

‘I don’t think they understood my southern accent but if my calculations are correct it should be delivered in half an hour’ you suddenly heard Mason shout through the hall, you and Woody turning to look at each other with a smile before Mason rounded the corner and he spotted you straight away. His face a mask of shock but you could tell he was happy and also a little flustered. ‘Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you had plans?’

‘I did, but they got cancelled last minute. I was just popping in but I didn’t realise Woody was here too’

‘I told her she can stay for dinner, you’ve ordered enough right?’ Woody asked him, raising his brows at him. Almost as if he was trying to tell him to act cool but Mason was way beyond that and you could see how giddy he was just at the sight of you.

‘Yeah I have’ he smiled, slowly making his way over to you and as if Woody knew it was his que to go, he excused himself to the loo.

‘Thought he’d never leave’ Mason laughed, falling down next to you on the sofa so he could wrap you up in his arms and you felt your whole body relax as you held each other. ‘Missed you, gorgeous’

‘I missed you too’ you whispered, hiding your head in his neck as you felt too shy to look at him and soon enough he was trying to pull you away so he could see you.

‘Hey, why won’t you look at me’ he laughed, trying to tickle your sides and his plans worked as you started to squirm away but you moved your hands over your face to hide again. ‘Baby, what are you doing?’

‘Stop it, I’ve gone all shy’ you laughed, hoping he’d leave you be but just as you’d figured he did no such thing. Prying your hands away from your face so your red cheeks were exposed to him and the bright smile on his face made you melt.

‘Why are you shy, it’s only me’ he whispered, his own cheeks just as red and you thought it was the most adorable thing in the world.

‘I know’ you giggled, letting him cup your jaw before resting your face in his hand so you could gaze into each other's eyes lovingly before he dipped down to kiss you.

It was like having your first kiss all over again. Slightly hesitant and soft but you could feel his smile on your lips and feel the tsunami of butterflies swarming in your tummy. You loved kissing Mason, and each time you got to kiss him again you remembered how much. Letting him take control as he carefully dipped his tongue into your mouth so he could brush it against yours and in the end you had to pull away as you felt yourself overwhelmed by him. Your heart pounding in your ears as you struggled to catch your breath but his soft smile and kind eyes relaxed you when you were finally able to look at him.

‘You guys want a drink?’ Woody suddenly called, the pair of you jumping slightly and Mason answered for the both of you before he came back to the living room with his arms full of cans from the fridge. They both let you have the first pick before you took your coat off to get comfy on the sofa but Mason was giving you the once over before his face scrunched a little.

‘Do you wanna get changed, love? I’ve got some things you can borrow if you don’t wanna sit in that’ Mason asked, his eyes trailing over your body trapped in your stuffy work trousers and tight top and you couldn’t think of anything better than putting something else on.

‘Actually yeah, if you don’t mind. These trousers are suffocating me’ you laughed but he just nodded at you with a knowing smile.

‘Yeah come on, I’ll go grab you something’ Mason laughed, reaching down to pull you up before leading you down the hall and even though you were just getting changed, having him lead you to his room by the hand made your legs weak.

You followed him in, watching him pull some stuff out of his drawers and handing them to you with a smile before he nodded his head into the bathroom.

‘I won't be long, you can get changed in here’ he told you. Popping a quick kiss to your cheek before he left you to it.

You were just pulling his top over your head when you heard the bathroom door click open. Turning around to see Mason's eyes already over your bare legs and you gulped as he made his way over to you.

‘Sorry, I thought you’d be done’

‘It's okay’ you whispered, placing your hands on his chest as he wrapped his around your lower back and you felt the air shift immediately.

‘Sorry about Woody, I know you waited to wait to meet people’

‘It’s honestly fine, I think we’re gonna be besties’ you winked and the little laugh that erupted from him filled you with pride. You knew he had the prettiest smile you’d ever seen and you loved making him laugh, getting to see him so happy made you feel like you were floating.

‘Oh yeah?’

‘Yeah, apparently I make you really happy and you don’t stop talking about me’ you teased, letting him kiss your cheek and jaw but you almost lost it when you felt his lips at you ear so he could speak.

‘Woody is many things but he’s not a liar, so yeah I’d say that’s all true’ he told you quietly. ‘Woodys a nice entry level, if he’s on board then the rest will be fine when it’s time’

‘Masey’ you whispered, letting him pull back to look at you properly and you could see in his eyes that you both wanted the same thing to happen next. ‘Can I have another kiss?’ You asked, the question only leaving your mouth for a second before he dipped his head and planted lips on yours.

This was nothing like the kiss in the living room. This was slow and steamy and when his hands gripped your bum you let out a faint moan before he hoisted you up to carry you over to his bed. Sitting down at the end so you could straddle him and when you felt his hands on your naked waist as he slipped them under your top you almost lost it.

This was as close as you’d gotten to each other in a while, having not been intimate since he ran out on you after and since you were taking things slowly, sex had been off the table. Ideally you were hoping you could have held out a bit longer and make him work for it, you were drawn back to him like usual. Wanting to touch him and feel him in every way shape and form as you pressed your body into him until you could feel him pressing into you.

‘Mase! Foods here’ Woody suddenly shouted down the hall, the pair of you jumping away from each other before looking up at him. His eyes dark and pretty lips were swollen but he quickly pressed a kiss to your cheek before rolling his eyes

‘Coming’ he called before looking back at you and you both knew you were a little annoyed at being interrupted again but also knew it was for the best. ‘Come back when you’re ready, yeah?’ He nodded, stroking your cheek gently.

‘Okay’ you whispered and with one final kiss he left you to finish getting changed. Giving yourself a moment to collect yourself before pulling on a pair of his shorts and wandering back out to find the pair of them in the kitchen and the smell of the food made your tummy rumble.

‘I forgot to ask, what did you order?’ You asked, coming up behind Mason and placing your hand on his back which made him jump slightly but he was quick to send you a wink.

‘Chinese’ he smiled. ‘Don’t worry, I conveniently ordered your favourite. It’s like I knew you were coming’

‘Why did you do that?’

‘Well I’d consider it our favourite now. You’ve made me see the light’ he winked before dishing you up two identical plates.

‘I feel awful, are you sure there’s enough?’

‘Of course there is love, even got some left over’ he reassured you, planting a quick kiss on your forehead before grabbing both your plates and ushering you into the living room.

You all spoke as you ate, Mason and Woody updating you on some exciting plans and trips they had coming up before Mason was nudging your shoulder and telling you he wanted to take you away at some point but you just blushed as you tried to brush him off. Knowing it was way too early to think about trips when you were still figuring out what everything was.

‘So when can I take you on that first date?’ Mason asked once you’d finished eating. Popping your plates on the coffee table as Woody set the movie up and thankfully Mason pulled you into his body without you having to ask for a cuddle.

‘Whenever you like’ you nodded and the smile on his face my your heart flutter.

‘Okay, perfect. What would you like to do? Remember I said I’d take you wherever you wanna go so think carefully’

‘Hmmm’ you mused, wondering if you should say something completely ridiculous to test the waters as he seemed so cool about everything and when you sent him a cheeky smile he raised his brows at you expectantly. ‘I fancy pizza… in Italy’

‘Pizza in Italy?’

‘You said whatever I want’ you shrugged, watching his face scrunch up adorably as he knew he’d walked into that one but he didn’t seem phased by your request in the slightest.

‘I did say that didn’t I’ he laughed, kissing your cheek sweetly ‘I’ll make it happen’

‘I’m joking Mase’ you told him, knowing if you didn’t he’d actually take you there and the cheeky smile in his face wasn’t exactly doing anything to calm your nerves.

‘No no, I’ll do it-‘

‘Oi, fingers on lips you two. I can’t hear this’ Woody laughed, the two of you bursting into giggles at how stroppy he seemed but you felt bad enough for ruining boys night so you snuggled into Masons chest as he rested his head on top of yours and kept silent for the rest of the movie. Letting Mason kiss your forehead whenever he felt like it and sneak his hand under your top so he could feel your skin under his fingers.

You fell asleep on Mason's chest with around ten minutes left of the film to go. Mason noticing straight away that you’d turned heavy and your breathing was deeper but he let you sleep. Knowing today had been a long day for you and you were exhausted but he couldn’t help but look down at you adoringly. Pressing the softest of kisses to your hairline every so often until the credits were rolling and and he looked over to see wishing giving him a knowing smile that he returned.

‘You gonna wake her up?’ Woody asked quietly but Mason was torn. Looking back down at you so peacefully sleepily on him make him not want to move a muscle.

‘I don’t know what to do. I’d let her sleep here tonight but I don’t know what she wants. She’s had a lot on lately I don’t wanna wake her up’

‘Well you can’t lay there all night, you’ll do your back in’ Woody laughed, standing up so he could stretch his body out but clearly he’d forgotten the remote was on his lap and when it crashed to the floor you woke up with a fright.

‘Shit, sorry’ he whispered, his face turning red instantly but Mason was quick to rub your back and settle you again as your bleary eyes looked up into his.

‘Hey sleepyhead’ he whispered. ‘Do you want me to talk you home’

‘Not really’ you sighed, trying to burrow yourself into his chest even further as you were so comfortable and the rubble of Mason's chest as he laughed made you giddy.

‘Come on love, we need to get up’

‘Nooo’ you protested. Holding your ground as you laid there and you could tell he was amused by your little tantrum.

‘What do you wanna do then?’

‘I think she wants to stay the night, Mase’ Woody called from the kitchen. It making you smile that Woody understood and Mason didn’t and when he looked down at you his cheeks were a bright pink.

‘Do you?’ He whispered, holding you to his chest like he wasn't about to let you go anyway and when you nodded up at him you felt his whole body relax.

‘Is that okay?’

‘Of course it is, You don’t have to ask’ he told you. Kissing your hairline a few times before attempting to get up and eventually you moved yourself off of him and let him lead you to his room.

‘Thank you’ you whispered, ridding yourself of the shorts he gave you so you could sleep in just his shirt and when he eventually climbed in next to you in just his boxers you couldn’t hold in the content hum as your skin touched his.

‘You don’t need to thank me, gorgeous. You know I’ve been dying to be next to you again like this’ he told you. Kissing your head softly wherever he could reach. ‘What time do you need to go in the morning?’

‘I’m working from home tomorrow so I can just get a cab or something’

‘No you won’t, I’ll drop you on the way to training okay?’ He smiled and all you could do was nod and nestle yourself into him further.

This was your happy place and you were so excited to be back.

He stuck to his promise and drove you home in the morning and by the time lunch rolled around this sight of his name popping up on your phone made you giggle like a schoolgirl.

You knew exactly what this meant, and after your heated make out session that Woody had interrupted you couldn’t wait to get your hands on him again. In your mind you’d wanted to wait a bit longer but you physically couldn’t at this point as you were once again drawn back to him and now that you knew he might want to make your first time special you couldn’t stop thinking about what he might be planning.

You saw him briefly once for a quick lunch date on one of his days off but it was for barely over an hour as you had to get back to work but you both knew what was coming up and no matter how much you asked he wasn't giving in and telling you where you were going so your imagination was running wild.

When the day of your date finally came, Mason's driver came and picked you up around 8am. A horrifically early morning by your standards but you wanted to get there early so you could check in and get settled and ready for Mason and in the back of his fancy car with a movie on, the drive didn’t feel that long.

You didn’t know what hotel you were staying at exactly, Mason had given you the name but you’d never heard of it and hadn’t bothered to look it up but when you eventually stumbled from the back of the car it you thought you’d been dropped off at the wrong destination.

‘Are you sure this is it?’ You asked the driver as he unloaded your case but he nodded at you warmly as he set it up on the floor for you.

‘100%’ he laughed. Clearly catching on to your stunned expression. There were fancy hotels and there were fancy hotels and this was definitely the latter. ‘Reception is just through that door, will you be alright or do you want me to come in with you?’ He offered and even though you could have used his support, you felt a bit silly so just shook your head lightly.

‘I’ll be alright, thanks though’ you smiled and bid him a quick goodbye before making your way inside.

The reception was huge, a high ceiling with a grand chandelier and you must have looked a bit lost as someone directed you to the check in desk and you were checked in fairly quickly. Taking both room keys as Mason said he’d just text you when he was here so you could let him in and you made your way up to the top floor.

Once the door was open you wondered again if something had gone wrong somewhere. The room was huge with a huge double bed and balcony but the glass walled bathroom that you could see straight into made you blush. The shower being the perfect spot to watch from the bed and your mind was going crazy with all the possibilities.

Mason had told you to treat yourself to room service for lunch before you got settled for a nap, knowing Mason would still be a few hours and once you were awake you took and everything shower before you started getting ready. You were expecting a call from Mason at any moment and just as you’d finished drying your hair you heard your phone ping and you knew he was outside.

‘Hello gorgeous’ he smiled, cupping your jaw and pulling you into a kiss that made your knees weak before you let him in fully. Letting him dump his bag on the bed before he turned to look at you again and the cheeky smirk on his face was making you blush. ‘Nice robe’

You laughed as you looked down at yourself, not wanting to get fully dressed after your shower you’d just changed into the rather racy black underwear you’d bought specifically for tonight and thrown the fancy hotel robe over the top so you could get ready in some comfort but you could tell from the look in his eyes that he wanted to undress you right here and now.

‘Well I’ve never been in a hotel this fancy, and I’ve always wanted to try the robes on so I’m just living my little fantasy’

‘Trust me, so am I’ he drawled, his eyes all over you as he took you back in his arms. Hands trailing down to grab your bum as his lips landed on your cheek before he littered kisses down your neck and you knew exactly what he wanted.

‘Nuh uh, I need to finish getting ready with no distractions’ you told him, pulling away so you could walk over to your makeup bag but you knew he was pouting behind you.

‘But I haven’t seen you for a week’

‘And we got all night to make up for it’ you reasoned, flashing him a smile before picking your bag up and nodding towards the balcony. ‘Now I’m going to do my makeup’

‘Spoil sport’ he laughed, kissing your forehead as you made your way past. ‘I’m gonna have a shower okay’

It was probably a good thing that you were doing your makeup outside and away from Mason, knowing that if he was showering you’d be able to see him in all his glory and you’d probably end up joining him so you kept yourself out of the way and only went back in to get changed. Taking a few lipstick options into the bathroom with you as you were still undecided and wanted to be fully dressed before you settled on a colour.

Your outfit was fairly simple, a short black dress that showed off your legs but the long sleeves kept it a touch more conservative and you knew Mason would love the way it clung to your body and accentuated your hips.

You’d never worn it before, but the tube of red lipstick you’d purchased a while ago and never opened had called your name whilst you were packing last night. Wondering if Mason would like it and since you’d kept the rest of your makeup pretty simple you figured it would be fine to try. Applying it as carefully as you could so you didn’t smudge it and once you were done you wondered why you hadn’t tried it sooner. You felt sexy and you couldn’t wait to go and see what Mason thought.

His jaw physically dropped as soon as soon as he saw you. Eyes trailing all over you as he took every inch of you in and you felt yourself blush under his stare. No one else had ever made you feel this way by just a look and it was like he had the power to make you crumble.

‘You look unreal’ he breathed, walking towards you slowly before resting his hands on your waist. ‘I wanna kiss that lipstick off you so bad’

‘Well you can’t, not till later anyway’ you told him as his pout was evident. Kissing your temple and your cheek before pulling back to give you another once over and you felt your tummy flutter at the way he was looking at you.

‘This is like torture’ he whispered, squeezing your hips but the way you bit your lip as you smiled clearly send him over the edge as he met out a shuddery breath. ‘That's it, we’re not going’

‘Mason-’

‘Nope sorry, I won’t be able to concentrate on anything if I’m sat opposite the human embodiment of Betty boop. I can barely think of a coherent thought right now so let’s just skip dinner’ he laughed and even though you knew he was joking the thought of a whole evening between the sheets with Mason was tempting. You were starving though and curious as to what he’d planned so you pouted up at him in hopes he’d finish getting ready so you could go.

‘But Mason, I’m hungry’

‘Me too, but not for food’

‘Mason I’m serious’ you laughed, tapping his chest as he wrapped himself around you again but you could see he was only playing and with a slight roll of his eyes he was smiling at you again.

‘Alright fine, let me finish getting ready and we’ll go yeah?’

‘Thank you’ you grinned. Letting him kiss the end of your nose and before you knew it he was ready in front of you. Your mouth watering at how good he looked and now you knew how he must have felt before as all you wanted was to drag him back to bed and have your way with him finally.

You managed to restrain yourself though, the pair of you leaving the room and making your way into the Uber outside and you’d been driving around for around ten minutes when you realised you still had no idea where you were going.

‘So where are we going then?’ You asked nonchalantly, hoping he’d forget it was a surprise but the twinkle in his eye let you know you were still about to be kept in the dark.

‘I thought you knew? Pizza in Italy right?’ He winked, watching a pout form on your lips that he was quick to kiss away carefully. ‘It’s a surprise’

You let him have his fun, driving for another ten minutes or so before you pulled over and Mason helped you get out of the car. This wasn’t an area of London you knew very well and when you looked up at him he was smiling down at you sheepishly.

‘Where are we?’

‘Little Venice’ he smiled as he took your hand and you felt your cheeks redden at how thoughtful he’d been. ‘I know it’s not Italy but it’s the closest we have’

‘Mason… this is…’ you mumbled. Lost for words for the boy in front of you and even though this was already the best date you’d even been on you could tell he was still eager to impress.

‘Is it okay?’ He asked, squeezing your hand as his eyes tried to find yours but you were feeling shy at the way he’d put so much effort in and you couldn’t look at him properly.

‘I’m speechless’

‘Is that good or bad?’

‘It’s very good’ you smiled, finally looking back to him before reaching up to give him a quick peck on the lips as you knew he needed a little reassurance. It seemed to do the trick and before long he was guiding you along the narrow path by the canal until your eyes caught sight of a restaurant that was situated above you on a bridge. ‘Is that where we’re going?’

‘Surprise’ he laughed, letting go of your hand so he could wrap his arm around your shoulder before kissing your head and it was like you were lost for words all over again. Looking up to see his shy smile directed down at you but you were too gobsmacked to think.

‘Mase… it’s beautiful’

‘Just like you then’ he whispered shyly before taking your hand once more and leading you to the door.

It was just as beautiful inside and your table was outside on the middle of the balcony so you could look over the river. Your eyes filling with tears as soon as you were able to take everything in but Mason was quick to grab your hand and run his thumb over your knuckles to settle you a bit.

‘Mase… this is…’

‘Just the tip of the iceberg’ he smiled. ‘I’m gonna treat you the way I should have from the start so you’re gonna have to get used to this’ he told you sincerely but you weren’t sure if you were ever going to be able to get used to it. You felt utterly spoiled and you’d only just sat down.

Thankfully you and Mason liked the same sort of foods so after starting off with some cocktails you ended up ordering a pizza to share and a pasta that the both of you thought sounded nice so you could share that too and you had to stop yourself from getting too giddy as he tried to feed you multiple times throughout the night.

‘How’s the pizza?’ He asked, taking a bite out of the slice he’d just fed you with but the way he rolled his eyes in pleasure let you know he thought it was good.

‘Really nice, what do you think?’

‘I like it, we can compare it to the real thing soon’ he winked but you just looked back at him in confusion until he nodded to a white envelope that was sat in front of the menus that you’d completely missed until now.

You sent him a confused look, but he didn’t crack. Waiting for you to open it before he said anything so you took it carefully and opened it with a slight frown. Unsure as to what it could be but you recognised they were plane tickets instantly.

‘Mason…’

‘It’s not for a few months, have to wait till the season ends, but I promised I’d make it happen and I will’ he smiled.

‘I can’t… Mase it’s too much’ you told him. Shutting the envelope as you were too overwhelmed with what he might have done but he was quick to take your hand and rub his thumb over your knuckles soothingly.

‘Nothing will ever be too much for you, I promise’ he told you lowly and the intensity of it all was making your tummy flip. No longer feeling confident enough to look at his face so you looked down at your plate as you blushed profusely.

‘You still think you’ll be with me in a few months?’ you joked and even though he smiled you could he was about to be serious with you and you weren’t sure if you could take it right now given his emotional you were.

‘I think it’s more you thinking if you wanna be with me’ he smiled. ‘You know I’m in this for the long hall right? You're all I’ll ever need okay?’

‘I’m in this for the long hall too’ you smiled, letting him raise your hand so he could kiss over your knuckles and it was like you could have melted on the spot. You knew tonight was going to be special but Mason really had pulled out all the stops and you couldn’t be more grateful for the beautiful boy in front of you. Tonight feeling like a turning point for you both.

You spent the rest of the night chatting and feeding each other. The pair of you too full for a dessert each so he let you pick whatever you wanted and shared it with you. Pulling his chair round next to yours and under the table you felt him tangle his legs with yours before sending you a cheeky wink and it’s as if you felt as light as air. Nothing and no one could stop you tonight and you couldn’t believe you’d finally made it to this point with him.

Just before leaving you popped to the loo but when you got back Mason wasn’t at your table, wondering if he’d gone to the loo himself but when you sat back down you saw him talking to a waiter just across the room. A concerned look on his face as they talked back and forth before his eyes fell on your and his face softened slightly. Nodding to the waiter and thanking him before walking back to you and when he took your hands in his you knew something was wrong.

‘We’ve got a bit of a situation’ he told you calmly but you could tell he was slightly annoyed. ‘Apparently there’s paps outside’

‘Oh’

‘It’s okay, I’ve got a plan. I think it’s best we don’t get caught together just yet, you know? And that’s not me trying to hide you or anything, I can’t wait for the day I get to show you off but just cause of Robin and everything I-‘

‘Mase it’s okay, I get it’ you smiled. ‘I don’t really want to start a shit storm either’ you told him and the look of relief that took over his face made your heart thump. Clearly he was terrified of what you were going to say but you knew by now the trick with Mason was to keep calm and reassure him he was doing the right thing.

‘Okay, so I’ve called an Uber, one of the waiters is gonna walk you out and put you in the car and I’ve told them to do a few laps before coming to get me. I don’t care if they get my picture I just wanna keep you safe, okay?’

‘Okay’ you smiled, letting him kiss the back of your hand gently. You could see he was panicking about it all a little bit but you knew you’d be fine and the way he was trying so hard to protect you was making you melt.

‘I’m so sorry, I’m not sure who called them but I know it’s shit’

‘Mase, it’s okay’ you reassured him, knowing it wasn’t his fault and that he’d tried to keep this as intimate as he could so you tried to keep his spirits up whilst the Uber made its way so nothing could ruin your evening.

‘Ubers outside okay? If you need me just text me and I’ll come’ he told you as he helped you put your jacket on.

‘I’ll be fine’ you smiled. Giving his cheek a quick kiss before meeting the waiter by the door who gave you a soft smile and opened the door to let you out.

You could hear the commotion of the paps outside, around five of them with their cameras poised ready to shoot but when Mason was nowhere to be seen they went back to talking. Keeping an eye on you for the most part and you knew they were watching you get into the car but thankfully no one took your picture.

It was around five minutes later when you pulled back up to the restaurant, a little ways further down but not too far away so that Mason would struggle to find you and you quickly uploaded a few pictures to instagram while you waited for him.

y/n

liked by

y/n it’s not pizza in Italy, but it’ll do.

comments are limited

After a minute or two you saw the flashes from the cameras meaning Mason had left. He walked quickly but calmly, sending them a quick nod before dropping his head down and getting to you as quickly as he could and sliding in next you with a huff but your driver was quick to leave and thankfully the paps couldn’t get close.

‘There we go, no one suspects a thing’ he laughed. Finally settling in the seat and taking your hand to he could hold it in his lap and even though you were glad to bet getting away you didn’t think you were out of the woods yet.

‘Do you think we should let someone know? Just in case they post the pictures of you?’

‘Nah, no point. Man leaves London restaurant isn’t exactly a hard hitting story’

‘You’re not just any man though are you?’ You laughed, not believing how nonchalant he was being and the cheeky smile he sent you let you know he still wasn’t being serious.

‘You’re right, I’m your man’ he winked before placing a quick kiss to your forehead.

You were almost back at the hotel when a weird noise from Mason's phone startled the both of you and he picked it up with a confused expression as he tried to work out what had happened.

‘What the… I can’t believe it’

‘Mase? What is it?’ You questioned, seeing his expression turn angry and you gulped as his eyes flickered to yours and then back to his phone.

‘Think I know who called the paps. Not for certain but I’ve got a good idea’

‘What? Who was it?’

He didn’t speak, just showed you the notification on his phone but you weren’t exactly sure what you were looking at to begin with.

‘What? I don’t understand’ you whispered, even seeing her name written down sent a shiver through you and after such a nice evening you wondered if this would be the start of the downfall.

‘I forgot she was linked to my calendar, she’s the only person who would have called them cause I added it in there and I’m guessing she could see we were there. She knows how much I hate it when the paps show up and she’s bloody notorious for it’ he told you. Your mind wandering back to the photos of him and her leaving the restaurant he was meant to take you to and now it all made so much more sense.

‘Well at least they didn’t get any of me’ you reasoned but you knew he was still angry about it. ‘It’s fine Mase, please just forget about her’ you whispered and you watched his face drop as he realised how talking about his ex was probably the last thing you wanted to be doing on your first date so he gently tilted your face to look up at him before leaving a gentle kiss on your lips

‘I did a long time ago, I promise’ he whispered, trying his best to reassure you and the sad smile you sent his way broke his heart a little bit. ‘I’m sorry baby, come on. let’s not let her spoil our evening. I’ve got big plans for you when we get back’

‘Oh yeah’ you asked, one eyebrow raised and you tried to hold back a smile ‘like what?’

‘Just you wait and see’ he teased. Kissing the back of your hand before the car came to a stop outside your hotel.

‘Will you shut your eyes for me please?’ He asked, stopping outside your door with a cheeky smile on his face and you were about to question him but he seemed so excited so you just did it. Letting him lead you into your room until he made you stop completely and when he softly told you to open your eyes, the sight you were met with almost took your breath away.

The lights had been dimmed, a few candles were twinkling away on the sides but it was the rose petals scattered all over the bed that made your cheeks burn and you looked up to see him looking down at you shyly.

‘What’s all this?’

‘Put in a little request downstairs to have it all done for when we got back. I just wanted to make things special for you’

‘Masey’ you pouted, holding him by his jaw so you could pop a quick but heavy kiss on his lips and even though it was only small you could tell how happy he was you’d finally properly kissed him with your lipstick on.

‘Can you imagine if they forgot and I made you shut your eyes for nothing, that would have been so awkward’ he laughed, spinning you so he could hold you from behind and kiss your neck but you felt yourself melting into him and knew it was your turn to tease him a little bit too.

‘You know Mase, this is very presumptuous. I don’t usually put out on the first date’

‘No? You put out that first night we met’ he chuckled, his lips right by your ear as he kissed the shell of it and you felt a tingle run all the way down your spine as he loved on you.

‘That wasn’t a date though, that was an ambush’ you told him. Your voice already sounding breathy and he began to stroke his hands over your sides and at this point you were finding it hard to stand up.

‘What about when I took you out for dinner the second time we met. Seem to remember I ended up in your bed again’

‘That was just two friends catching up’

‘Oh is that what we’re calling it’ he smiled, leaning over further to kiss the corner of your mouth and you could have melted on the spot. ‘So no sex tonight then?’

‘I think I could make an exception’ you told him quietly, letting him spin you around so you were face to face again and his soft smile made your breath catch in your throat. No one had ever looked at you the way Mason did and you knew you were putty in his hands no matter how hard you tried to be strong.

‘That’s the spirit’ he laughed, watching his face turn serious before he gently bumped his nose against yours. The action making you smile as you griped his shoulders gently and the need to kiss him became overwhelming. Thankfully you could see it in his eyes that he wanted the same and you couldn’t wait to finally have him again. ‘Can I kiss you now?’

You’d barely nodded and his lips were on yours. It was messy and frantic as he grabbed at you, clearly not able to control himself after not having you for so long and you knew you’d both be covered in lipstick now but you didn’t care. Your need for him was stronger than any of that worrying so you let him have you. Kissing him until there was no air left in your lungs and you had to pull back but the red lipstick all around his mouth made you feel triumphant.

‘Shall we go clean our faces first?’ You asked but he just shook his head before running his thumb across your bottom lip and dragging it down your chin to your jaw. You knew your messed up lipstick was even worse now, letting him grab your neck and kiss along where the mark was and you had to hold onto his shoulders tightly so you didn’t crumple to the floor as your legs were so weak. ‘You sure Mase? We’re just gonna make a mess’

‘That’s what I want. I want you to make a mess all over me’ he growled into your neck and you couldn't contain the moan that fell from your lips. Letting him pull you over to the bed and onto his lap and you could feel him through his jeans already as you straddled his thighs.

He eventually let you grab some wipes to clean you both up. Telling him it was like making out with a clown and you didn’t want to stain the white sheets so you carefully scrubbed the lipstick off of him as he sat and watched you but you could tell he was eager to have you. His hands massaging your thighs gently and once you told him you were all done he wasted no time in gripping your hips and kissing you once more. This time a little softer and slower and you were glad you were sitting down still as you could feel yourself melting into him.

His little kisses moved across your face and to your jaw, peppering them across until he was trailing them down your neck and trying to attack your collar bones. You could feel his hands pulling at your top, trying to untuck it from your skirt and once he had peeled it from your body his hands were unclipping your bra and throwing that to the side too. Leaving you sat on his lap completely bare from the waist up and the sudden exposure to the cold air made your skin erupt in goosebumps.

Now you were exposed to him he wasted no time in attaching his lips to your chest. Moaning with you in unison as he sucked on the hardened bud and you couldn’t help but buck your hips slightly. His warm hands splayed out over your back made you shiver but you loved how he was devouring you like he hadn’t eaten in weeks. Kissing down the valley of your breasts before giving the other side the same treatment and when he finally looked up at you his eyes were dark and wild.

‘I hope you know you won’t be sleeping tonight’ he told you breathlessly, lips brushing yours as he spoke but it was his eyes rolling in the back of his head as you massaged his scalp lightly that turned you on more than anything else.

‘You better have got late check out then’

‘I’m nothing if not prepared’ he winked and you knew then you were in for a wild ride.

He stuck to his word and you really didn't get much sleep. Between endless rounds of making each other feel good you found yourselves laying half on top of each other as you spoke. Mason's excitement for your future was contagious and even though you wanted to take things slowly you found yourself wanting to say things to him you never had before.

You’d forgotten how good it felt to have him in between your thighs, to have him take care of you in a way no one else could. To let him do exactly what you needed him to and as he rocked himself into you slowly with his forehead resting on yours you found yourself wanting to say so much but you were lost for words.

You felt as light as air as he kissed your cheeks, peppering them gently across your jaw and up to your ear where his light moans travelled straight to your brain and made you tingle. Your hands wandering the expanse of his back as you lightly trailed your nails over him and when you finally grabbed a hold of one of his cheeks he growled into your neck.

‘I love every single part of you’ you he whispered. You hadn't heard him say that to you since that night in your flat as you weren’t quite ready to say it back but clearly he couldn’t hold it in anymore. ‘I’ve known from the second I saw you’

‘Mase-‘

‘Shhhhh, it’s okay. I know’ he told you and even though you wanted to speak you couldn’t. His lips claiming yours again as he brought you to a high once more and by the time you’d recovered you were barely conscious. He’d really put you to the test tonight and knew you were exhausted after the hours you’d spent between the sheets so he finally let you rest. Getting you comfortable in his arms so you could drift off and before long you were out for the count.

You were awoken the next morning by the feeling of Mason's lips on your cheeks. Peppering soft kisses repetitively until you were squirming in his hold and you couldn’t remember ever waking up so happy before.

‘Good morning, sweetheart’ he whispered carefully, trying his best not to startle you as you carefully awoke but when you smiled at him softly his lips curled into your favourite smile. ‘As pretty as you look when you’re asleep, you need to wake up my love. Check outs in an hour yeah?’ He told you and you couldn't contain your huff. Barely opening your eyes to look at him but you could see his pout of sympathy for you. ‘I know beautiful, I’m sorry. But it is almost midday’ he chuckled and even though you knew he was right, you shut your eyes again and got comfy.

Even though you were awake he was still pressing kisses to your face, the sound of your giggles mixing together as you tried to hide but he always managed to find somewhere to kiss. Eventually pressing his lips to yours in a sweet kiss that made your toes curl and when he pulled back to rest his forehead on yours you couldn’t contain yourself anymore. The words you’d been holding in for a while now tumbling out of your mouth in a barely there whisper.

‘I love you’

You could tell Mason was shocked. Not expecting to hear that from you quite clearly but the smile on his face was contagious. He’d told you he loved you before but knew you weren’t ready for all of that yet so had cooled off on it until he couldn’t hold it in last night but you knew he loved you as he proved it to you everyday with all the small things he did.

‘You what?’

‘I said, I love you’ you told him again, a bit more forcefully this time as you wanted him to know you meant it and the look of relief on his face made your chest warm.

‘Are you serious?’

‘Yes’ you laughed, kissing him lightly but he was too in shock to reciprocate. Looking back to see his eyes looking a little bleary as his emotions took over and you knew it must have hit him hard.

‘I love you too’ he whispered, laughing as he kissed again but you knew straight away where he was trying to take things and even though you wanted to, you didn’t have time for that right now.

‘Hold your horses, big boy. We don't have time’ you giggled and when he frowned at you you made the same face back.

‘What? You’ve just told me you loved me and now I’m not allowed to do anything about it?’

‘You said we’ve only got an hour’ you argued but you knew he was about to argue back and you had to be strong.

‘I can be quick-‘

‘Mason’ you laughed. ‘I love you, but no’

‘Fine’ he huffed, pressing one last kiss to your lips before moving away from you. ‘I’m just gonna jump in the shower, okay. I love you’ he whispered and you nodded with a smile at him before he left the comfort of your bed to head into the bathroom.

You wondered if this was the whole reason he got this particular room in the first place, the glass bathroom was completely open and as you laid on your side you had a perfect view of Mason under the shower. You knew he wasn’t doing it on purpose, at least you didn’t think he was, but watching his hands roam across his wet body was getting you right in the mood and before you knew it you were knelt up on the bed completely naked in front of him while he stood and watched you. His mouth hanging open as you brushed your fingers softly over your body in an attempt to turn him on like he was doing to you as a little bit of pay back. Knowing he couldn’t get to you easily as the glass wall was in the way but you should have realised by now Mason always got what he wanted.

He was rounding the corner back into the room in a flash. Soap bubbles and splatters of water following in his wake and you squealed as he grabbed a hold of you so he could carry you back into the shower with him.

‘You can’t tell me no and then tease me like that, I won’t have it’ he laughed. Setting you down before pulling you under the warm water and you barely had time to think before he was pressing you up against the slippery tiles.

‘Mase-‘

‘Shhh, I don’t wanna hear it’ he whispered, his hand flying straight to where you needed him so he could circle over you gently and his first touch made you gasp. Knotting your fingers through his hair as he rested his forehead on yours and you knew you were blushing from the intense eye contact he was already holding you captive with.

‘I’ll go slow, yeah?’ He told you quietly but you could already feel his fingers inching back towards your entrance and when he finally began to push his digits in you let out a breath you didn’t realise you’d been holding.

Even though you’d had him multiple times the night before, it still wasn’t enough for you. He would never be enough for you so you took his already hard length in your hand and began to pump him until his eyes were rolling back in his head and he was moving closer to finally get inside you again.

He managed to hook your leg over his arm so you were more open to him and you gasped as he pushed his way inside.

‘You thought you could do that to me and get away with it, huh?’ He breathed, not letting you answer as he kissed you deeply as he snapped his hips back and forth quickly.

You knew he was trying to get out both over the line quickly as you didn’t have time to mess about but as both your highs approached you felt him slow down. Your leg still hooked up over his arm as his other held you at your waist but you moved your hands to cup his jaw so you could look straight into his eyes.

You didn’t know what it was but things felt different. Your wet bodies sliding against each other as you moaned into each other's mouths. Yours eyes all over each other's faces until they settled on looking straight into the others and it was like time was frozen. Just you and the boy you loved as he tried his hardest to push you over the line and you thought you might burst. Stroking your thumbs up and down his neck carefully as you held his shoulders and you wondered how your legs hadn’t given out yet.

You could see it was a lot for him, his skin covered in goosebumps as his dark eyes bore into yours and you knew you were feeling the same feelings. An uncontrollable feeling of love ripping through you for the boy who was resting his head on yours.

‘Y/n.. fuck I-I’ he stuttered, too overcome with emotion to get his words out properly but you just kissed him in hopes he’d relax and keep going.

‘Shhh it’s okay. I know Mase, I feel it too’ you reassured him and the squeeze of you bum let you know he was just as close as you were.

‘God, I love you so fucking much’

‘I love you too’ you whimpered, looking back up into his eyes and you could see they’d become glossy. Clearly too stunned with how he was feeling and when he shivered under your fingertips you knew it wasn’t because of the temperature of the water.

You only let yourselves indulge in each other for a few moments longer as you knew you needed to get dry and dressed. Content with holding each other under the water for a few moments before you both got out and packed up. Mason managing to get himself ready a few minutes before you as you were just zipping up your bag when he groaned behind you.

‘Ah fuck’ you suddenly heard. Turning round to face Mason who was sat on the end of the bed and even though he sounded pissed off, he couldn't hold back a smile.

‘What’s up?’ You asked. Finally zipping your bag up as you were all packed and ready to go but by the look on Mason's face you could tell there was about to be another delay.

‘Come here’ he asked, patting the space on the bed next to him and once you’d taken your seat he passed you his phone and your eyes fell to the photo of Mason immediately. One of him in the same outfit he was wearing last night and it only hit you then that it was last night.

‘What’s this’ you questioned, reading through the article as quickly as you could to get a sense of what was happening and every word made you feel cold.

‘Some shit someone’s published about us last night. You’re my mystery woman apparently’ he laughed but you could tell he was a little pissed about it.

‘What?’

‘Yeah, my brother sent it to me and he’s not happy in the slightest’ Mason groaned. ‘Bad for my image apparently. I should have listened to you last night and told him this might be coming I guess’

‘Sorry, Mase’ you pouted, handing him his phone back but he just wrapped his arm around your back and sent you a small shy smile.

‘Not your fault at all gorgeous’ he winked before placing a quick kiss to your forehead. ‘I’m gonna go call him quickly and clear the air yeah? You finish getting ready and we’ll go home’ he told you and you left him to take his call outside. Watching him pace up and down as he spoke to whoever he needed to but you couldn't tell how it was going as he was keeping his expression blank.

‘How did it go?’ You asked as he walked back in and flopped down next to you. Pulling on your waist so you’d lay with him and once you’d settled on his chest he kissed your forehead sweetly.

‘He put me on the phone to my mum, she’s kinda pissed and I had to tell her about you. I know you wanted things kept quiet for now but I couldn’t not say’ he explained and you could tell he was worried about telling you but you knew it wasn't his fault.

‘No don’t be silly, it’s probably better they know’

‘Well I’m not sure about that cause she wants to meet you now’

‘Oh’ you breathed, knowing it was quicker than you wanted it to be but you knew you’d have to face them one day.

‘Don’t worry, I’ll sort it all out okay?’ He reassured you, kissing your forehead gently as he stroked your hair and you couldn’t help but feel calmer about it. He always had that effect on you. ‘You've got nothing to worry about, they’ll love you’

‘I’m not so sure about that’

‘Why wouldn't they? I love you and you make me happy so that’s all they should care about. The rest is none of their business’ he told you and you knew that’s how he saw things as he’d feel the same for his family if it was the other way around but you presumed they were protective over the baby of the family. ‘Trust me, I’m more annoyed than you are, won’t let me keep my girlfriend a secret for more than five minutes’

‘Girlfriend, huh? Who’s she?’ You teased, looking up at him with a smirk and you saw a look of shock flicker over his face as he realised what he’d said until he smiled it off.

‘Well I mean you told me you loved me this morning, I just presumed’ he joked but you could tell he was a little embarrassed about it still and the bridge of his nose flushed red but you reached up to kiss him softly letting him know it was fine.

‘I haven’t been a girlfriend for a long time’

‘Don’t worry, you’re already the best one I’ve ever had’ he winked, the pair of you laughing as he pulled you into his body. ‘Come on, gorgeous. We’ve got a long drive and I think I want some snacks’ he told you and even though you hated to be going you were excited for the drive with him as you’d never been in his car before.

You stopped off in the small Sainsbury’s that was close to the hotel for some drinks and snacks and when you asked what sweets he wanted he demanded one of everything. You let him know he could only have two things though and once back in the car his hand was either settled on your thigh or his fingers were laced through yours.

You were around halfway home when his phone lit up on the dash. His eyes quickly flashing over before you heard him sigh and his eyes flashed to yours.

‘Everything alright, love?’

‘Yeah uh, could you um… could you have a look on Robins instagram? Apparently she’s posted some stories about me’ he asked quietly and you could tell he was upset about it. You didn’t want to look but you were also curious yourself so you quickly found her and your heart broke as you saw them and what she was insinuating.

‘Is it bad?’ He asked quietly and when you didn’t reply he sent you a sad smile. ‘Can you read it to me? Its fine I promise’

‘Fuck’ he breathed, not realising it was going to be that bad and you saw his shoulders deflate as you replayed what you’d said in your head.

‘Mase, it’s a bunch of bullshit, yeah? We both know she’s just trying to get sympathy from everyone’ you told him in hopes it would make him feel better but you knew not much would right now. ‘Why don’t you post something?’

‘Best not, Lew will lose his marbles if he hasn’t done so already’ he shrugged. ‘It’ll all blow over soon I promise, I know the truth, so do you and that’s all that matters to me okay? I’m done with her mind games and I just want to forget her’

‘If you’re sure. But you know if you want to say anything I’ll be the first one there to defend you’

‘I know, sweetheart’ he muttered, turning to smile at you sadly and your heart broke once more for him. He didn’t deserve any of this and you hated how now she couldn’t manipulate Mason she was just manipulating everyone else.

You spent the next few days in a slight state of panic until he asked if you were free in the next week to meet his family and you agreed no matter how terrified you felt. Treating yourself to a nice new dress so you’d feel confident seeing them and at this point you didn’t even care if Mason liked it you just hoped they would.

You didn’t have to worry about Mason though, his eyes hanging out of his head when he saw you just like usual and it settled your nerves knowing whatever happened he would be there. He did his usual though and relaxed you, telling you how excited they were to meet you and that you’d have nothing to worry about so by the time you were finally there and out of the car you were feeling better than you had all day.

The vibes were off though as soon as you were in front of them. Mason's Dad, brother and brother in law weren’t there yet as they had to pop out for something so you were thrown straight into the fire by meeting his mum and sister first. The bright smiling faces you were expecting to be looking back at you looked sour and unimpressed and they both appeared to be sizing you up. Unfortunately Mason was either ignoring it or none the wiser, wrapping his arm around your waist as he smiled down at you before looking back at them.

‘This is y/n, guys’ he smiled proudly introducing them to you. Watching them both give you tight smiles and small nods but the two babies made up for it by inviting you into the living room to join in on their tea party. You were a little too afraid to leave Mason's side and you could tell he knew it, but he gently squeezed your hand to reassure you before looking into your eyes. ‘Go on, love. I’ll join you guys in a minute’ he assured you and after a quick kiss to your cheek you took Summers outstretched hand and let her lead the way.

He didn’t leave you for long but you knew he’d followed them into the kitchen. His face set as he wanted to ask them why they were being so cold but he didn’t really get the chance as they started quizzing him about Robin and he refused to talk.

‘Can’t you just tell us what happened?’ Debbie asked, her voice thick with concern for her boy but Mason just shook his head.

‘No, I don’t wanna talk about it, okay? It’s done, I don’t wanna see her again and that’s that’ he said bluntly but he could see Jaz was looking at him through narrowed eyes.

‘Well you’ll have to, she’s coming to mum's birthday’ Jaz said nonchalantly and Mason felt his tummy drop. There was no way in hell he wanted to see her again and he definitely was not having you and her in the same room.

‘You what?’

‘I invited her a few weeks ago and when we spoke the other day she promised she was still coming’

‘Look I don’t know what the fuck you thinking you’re doing but if she’s there then I won’t be’ he told them harshly. The pair of them looking at him like he’d grown two heads as they’d never heard him speak like that to them before.

‘Mason-‘

‘Nah nah, I’m not having it’ he told them. ‘It’s a dick move, I’m your brother and I thought I came first over anyone’ he spat but he could tell they still didn’t get it.

‘Look-‘

‘I’m serious, you don't know how hard the last few years have been for me and you don’t have any right to do this. So you’ve got a choice, her or me’

‘Stop being ridiculous’

‘Not you’re being ridiculous, I’m not talking to you about this anymore’ he declared before standing up abruptly. His chair making a loud noise as it moved back and scraped across the floor but he didn’t give them the chance to reply before he left them to finish lunch and joined you in the sitting room.

His heart broke for you as he caught sight of you sat in a circle with the girls. Mila was currently trying to put a tiara on your head as Summer poured you an imaginary cup of tea and it’s like he was falling for you all over again as you smiled whilst you pretended to take a sip.

He couldn’t take it anymore, needing your comfort more than anything else so he walked in and your eyes found his immediately. He knew you were a little embarrassed but with a quick kiss to your forehead he sat with you and joined in much to the girls' amusement. At least there were a few women in his life who weren’t disappointed in him.

‘They don’t like me do they’ you whispered, the vulnerability in your voice making his heart break so he quickly grabbed your hand and kissed your forehead again. Wanting to reassure you that it was all fine but also wanting to prepare you for the fact that today wouldn’t be as easy as he thought it would be.

‘Don’t be silly baby, they’ve just got the wrong end of the stick that’s all, they’ll be fine soon’

‘Masey? Where’s Auntie Robin?’ Summer suddenly popped up and you wanted the ground to swallow you whole. Thankfully it was only the four of you in there and Mila had no idea what was going on but you were still embarrassed and Mason could tell so he took your hand and placed it in his lap.

‘Robin won’t be around anymore, Sums. We’re not friends anymore really’ he told her simply but that seemed to be enough for her.

‘Okay’ she smiled at him, nodding and pouring tea for everyone before taking her seat in between her bears whilst Mila decided your lap would be her seat today.

Mason's Dad, brother and brother in law turned up only five minutes before lunch was ready. Mason seemed furious at them for being so long but when they came in to meet you they seemed a little more friendly than the women in his life had been. They were just awkward if anything which was to be expected and when they were called into the kitchen Mason let them all go so you could have a few minutes alone together and he could build you up a bit.

When you were both ready you followed Mason into the dining room. Thankful that he hadn’t let go of your hand but you could tell he was pissed about something else and you weren't sure what until he was directing you where to sit.

‘You’re sitting next to Summer’ he told, nodding you over to the other side of the table before following you around. You still couldn't figure out why his face was set so hard until he reached across the table to swap the wine glass in front of him with the water tumbler opposite.

‘Mase-‘

‘I’m sitting here. End of’ Mason spoke. Cutting his sister off before she had a chance to say anything else. Pulling your chair out for you to sit down and you knew this was about to be one of the most awkward lunches of your life as Mason planted his hand firmly on your thigh as soon as he was sat next to you. You knew no matter what, at least you had him there for you as he turned to face you with a smile. ‘What would you like?’

Mason didn’t let you lift a finger. Pouring your drink for you before serving up your food for you and you were grateful as you weren’t feeling very confident at all. He was a gem though and constantly checked in to make sure you had enough and you were okay but it wasn’t the food or anything like that that was the problem. It was the company.

If they were trying to make you feel awful then they were doing a pretty good job. Mason had told you they wanted to meet you so they could get to know you but if you hadn't been there it wouldn’t have made a difference in the slightest. Not once did they ask you anything about yourself or try to include you in the conversation, if anything they were purposefully retelling stories that included Robin but Mason had a knack for changing the subject.

Maybe it was the fact you were on edge that made everything they did and said worse but you could feel yourself shrinking as the time drew on. Not bothering to say anything or rock the boat but thankfully Summer was keeping you entertained so you didn't feel too much like a spare part.

Mason was getting irate though so you slipped your fingers through his. Giving his hand a gentle squeeze to let him know you were fine and you could handle it and you watched his face soften as he looked at you before dropping a quick kiss on your forehead. The small act making your cheeks burn but you knew it was half for his family too, wanting to show them he didn’t care what they were doing and that he was all about you.

When lunch was over you offered to help clear the table but Mason was quick to step in and told you you didn’t need to before ushering you into the garden with the girls. You wondered if he wanted to talk to them privately so he could speak his mind without getting you upset but when he joined you outside five minutes later he seemed oddly calm.

You were sitting on the floor with Mila in your lap when he approached you. Resting his hands on your shoulders as he looked down at you with a soft smile before turning his attention to them.

‘Hey girl’s, mummy just told me she’s got ice cream for you inside if you want it’ he told them, watching the pair of them scramble up and run inside hand in hand.

You weren’t sure if you should get up but Mason was sitting down behind you soon enough. His hands on your waist as he tried to lift you into his lap as he sat crossed legged and once you were settled he wrapped his arms around your middle and rested his head on your shoulder.

You felt your eyes sting immediately, finally alone and able to let your walls down a little bit but when he kissed your shoulder a few times you couldn't help but smile. Yes the whole time you’d been here it had been incredibly tense and awkward but you still had Mason. His head hadn’t been turned by anything they’d said but when he moved you into his lap slightly so he could see your face better you felt your lip wobble.

‘Its okay baby, you don’t have to hold it in around me. No one can see you, yeah? You can cry if you want to’ he told you softly and it's like the curtain dropped as soon as he said those words. Your hands coming up to cover your face so you could let a few tears free but clearly you were more upset than you realised. ‘I’m so sorry y/n’ he whispered, feeling your sobs grow slightly before Mason turned you in his arms. Letting you hide your face in his neck as he held you and stroked your back lightly.

‘It's not you, it’s just…’

‘I know, gorgeous. We’ll get going yeah? I’ll go grab your bag and we can go home’ he whispered but you didn’t want to back out now. You wanted to stick by him and prove to his family that you were the right one for him no matter how hard it might be.

‘No it’s alright, I’ll suck it up’ you told him. Nodding your head and wiping your eyes as you tried to pull yourself together but Masons hands were on your jaw to make you look at him in an instant.

‘No I don’t want you to do that. You shouldn't have to do that. I don’t wanna be here anymore either so we can just go okay? How about I run us a nice bath when we get in, yeah?’ He suggested, knowing how much you loved sharing a bath together and you nodded with a smile as he attempted to wipe your eyes. Thankful you could draw a line under today early and be alone just the two of you. ‘Come on then beautiful’

He walked you to the back door but told you to wait there so he could get your things and you weren’t in the state to argue. You were snotty and your eyes were puffy and you didn’t want them to see that they’d broken you so you let Mason go inside. Watching him march straight into the living room and he was met with his mum's guilty face straight away.

‘Mason-

‘I don’t wanna hear it. I’ve just come to get y/n’s bag’ he told her. His eyes scanning the room to try and find it but he couldn’t see it straight away and it gave her an in to keep talking.

‘Please Mase-‘

‘I’m so fucking embarrassed of you guys, you know that? Couldn’t play nice for a few hours and now she’s in tears thinking you all hate her’ he told everyone. Finally spotting on a chair across the room and making his way to grab it.

‘We didn’t mean for that to happen’ she told him, her voice sounding low and guilty and in the back of his mind he was happy about it. He wanted them to feel shit for what they’d done to you.

‘Well it did. She means a lot to me and I’m not gonna stay here and let you guys carry on making her feel like shit’

‘We’ve got your best interests at heart always Mason, we weren’t awful for the sake of it’ Jaz piped up but he was too angry with everyone to stand and argue any longer.

‘I don’t wanna hear anymore, we’re off’ he told them nonchalantly, picking your bag up from the chair and turning around but he stopped just before the door so he could stick the knife in again. ‘You know I never thought you guys would be like this, she was terrified about meeting you but I told her it would be fine cause I really thought it would be. I thought you’d be there for me no matter what and I’m so fucking ashamed’ he gulped, shaking his head as the he turned away, walking back out the way he came with your bag in hand before meeting you just outside the back door. His heart breaking once more as he took in your sorry state but he adored the way you smiled as soon as you saw him. ‘Come on sugar, let’s go’

‘I should say bye at least’ you told him, not wanting to appear rude and make them hate you even more but Mason just shook his head and pulled you along.

‘The don't deserve it. Come on, you're fine’ he told you, pulling you round the house by the side gate until you reached his car. Opening the passenger door for you to climb into and before you knew it you were off. Your heart sank at the way things had gone and you couldn’t stop yourself from silently crying the whole way back. Today had felt like a disaster but Mason kept his hand in yours the whole way home and deep down you knew things would be okay.

The pair of you had your bath, Mason letting you cry a little more until he was trying his hardest to make you smile. It didn’t take much as it came natural for you to be happy around him and by the time you were going to bed you were feeling just about okay again.

Mason was in the shower the next morning when the doorbell went. You were sat on the sofa in your pjs still as you ate the toast he’d made you a short while earlier and you froze at the sound before Mason's voice rang through the air.

‘Can you get that, baby? Should just be a delivery’ he called so you got yourself up and dusted the crumbs off of your body before answering.

When you opened the door you weren’t expecting to be met with the face of Debbie. You knew your face was one of shock but hers was one of sorrow and guilt and you almost felt bad for her so you gave her a tight smile in hopes she knew you were okay.

‘Hi love’ she smiled sadly but you didn’t know what to say to her. ‘Is Mason here? I think it’s best we all talk’

‘He’s in the shower’ you whispered, unsure if you should let her and if Mason would want to see her but she was his mum at the end of the day and you didn’t want to make her hate you anymore

‘Maybe you and I could talk first then? I think I owe you an apology’ she gulped so you nodded her in and took her to the kitchen. Offering her a cup of tea that she gladly accepted before you took a seat opposite her.

‘Sorry I’m still in my pjs, I don’t normally dress like this’ you laughed, trying to make light of the situation but she just smiled at you softly before her face grew serious again.

‘I’m sorry for the way I acted yesterday, well the way we all acted really. We’re very protective over Mason, too much sometimes, and we were just a bit concerned. He’s not spoken about what happened with Robin and we’ve only had her side of the story so I’m guessing we got the wrong end of the stick. We just assumed the worst after that article came out and we weren’t sure about your intentions’

‘I get that’ you nodded sadly, deep down you knew why yesterday had gone the way it had and that you would have to prove yourself so you started here and now while Mason wasn’t around to tease you. ‘I need you to know that I love your son a lot’

‘I know’ she told you sincerely, ‘and you know what, after seeing him with you yesterday I can see how much he loves you’ she confessed. ‘I’ve never seen him act that way with someone. We’ve known Robin since she was 14 and she’s like a daughter to me but he’s never looked at her like that’

‘He’s had a lot going on that he should have told-‘

‘What’s going on?’ You suddenly heard. Looking over to see Mason walking in fully dressed in his comfies ready for your sofa day but the sight of his mum sat in his kitchen clearly wasn’t what we was expecting.

‘I’ve come to talk’

‘You better not have upset her’ he grumbled, coming over to touch your shoulder protectively but you just placed your hand over his and nodded to the chair next to you and opposite his mum.

‘Mason sit down, it's okay’ you laughed, his eyes lighting up at the way you didn’t seem sad in any way so he took a seat and kept your hand in his.

‘Right, I want the truth okay? I know we weren’t the best yesterday but I need you to be honest with me about what happened with Robin’ Debbie told him and you knew Mason didn’t want to. You wondered if some gentle encouragement might help and when his eyes met yours you sent him a soft smile.

‘Come on Mase, I think it’s for the best’ you offered, hoping he’d listen to you but Debbie clearly knew her son and was ready to guilt her way into him talking.

‘You used to tell me everything’ Debbie pouted, looking down and huffing slightly and he clearly knew what she was doing as he rolled his eyes with a little smile.

‘Yeah well this is shit, I don’t wanna keep reliving it and talking about it all the time’

‘Well let’s make this the last time then’ she told him, reaching over the table with her hand up in hopes he’d place his in hers and after a beat he did. Looking up to see his eyes full of tears at the thought of hashing everything out again so you took his other hand in yours and gave it a gentle squeeze in hopes it would give him some courage.

‘I don't even know where to start,’ he sighed. ‘Things with Robin had been bad for a while but i didnt wanna give up you know? Didn’t wanna throw nine years of a relationship away but she made it impossible’ he gulped. ‘I know I told you I bought this place for Woody to stay in as an investment but that was a load of shi- sorry a load of rubbish’

‘What do you mean?’ Debbie frowned and you looked at Mason quizzically too but his eyes were glued to the table as he fought to get his words out.

‘I’ve been living here. I’ve probably only been in the house a handful of times lately cause I needed my own place to stay’

‘Why though?’ Debbie whispered, confused as to why he’d lied to her and you knew the floodgates were about to open.

‘Cause I couldn’t stay at home. She kicked me out all the time over the most stupid things like I can’t even begin to explain but I was always on edge around her. You know, wondering what mood she was in and if I’d be allowed in my own home that day’ he told her and you watched as her face dropped.

‘She didn’t love me in the end, mum. She loved what I could give her. We were kids when we met and we grew apart but she was comfortable with the life I gave her and didn’t want to give that up. You wonder why every time we went out there were pictures? She always called the paps like she wanted everyone to know I was hers so no other girls went near me’

‘Why did you stick around for so long?’ She asked quietly, her voice sad but understanding and you could see how upset she was for her boy.

‘Looking back, I’m not so sure. She had a knack for making me feel awful about her mistakes so I was the one who would always go crawling back to apologise. It was just this weird cycle I couldn’t get out of until I’d just had enough. I get you were trying to protect me yesterday but it was from the wrong person’

‘I think we were just a bit confused. This seems to have happened really quickly’ she nodded before her eyes were flickering between the pair of you be she was smiling softly. ‘So how did this happen then?’

‘It’s my fault, Robin ended things with me and I told myself that I was done and moving on but I didn’t explain everything to y/n at first and when Robin whistled I went running back like i always did cause I’m a moron’

‘So you didn’t… you didn’t cheat did you?’ She whispered and even though he knew why she might have come to that conclusion he was ready to defend himself even if he had been a bit wrong.

‘No way, I would never do that’ he told her. ’I get the lines are blurry and it doesn’t sound great, it’s not how you raised me at all but I’d never do that. I hate talking about it cause I sound like a dick but I only went to y/n when she’d broken up with me and I never told her I had a sort of girlfriend in the beginning’ he huffed.

‘I’m not proud of it, at all. I’m ashamed at how much I hurt y/n when she’s only ever put me first and shown me love. This thing with us, it’s not what Robin said okay? This isn’t just me spreading my wings for a bit, y/n is it for me and that’s why I thought it would be okay for you to meet her cause I know she’s gonna be around for a long time. But Robin got you like she got me and made you believe something else. You know if anything I cheated on y/n, went running right back into the fire after she offered to give me everything cause deep down I didn’t think I deserved her’ he told her honestly and your heart broke for the boy you loved. His eyes finally meeting yours and the soft look in his eye made you melt. ‘But she stuck with me, no matter what I did or how awful I treated her. She was there for me and all I want to do is make her life as easy as she makes mine feel now’

‘I wish you would have been honest from the start’ Debbie huffed, making the pair of you look back at her and even though you could see she was hurting for him you could see that twinkle in her eye that you knew that she could see there was something special between you. ‘Look I’m your mum okay, it’s my job to protect you. But for once I don’t feel like I have to anymore. That’s your job now, yeah?’ She smiled at you and you felt your heart soar at how much she was trusting you.

‘I promise I will’ you reassured her, feeling Mason squeezing your hand under the table as he knew this was a big deal after yesterday.

‘I know you will’ she nodded. ‘You have been for a while by the looks of things. I’m not going to sit here and say I saw this coming from a mile off cause I really didn’t but I could tell something had changed lately. I thought you and Robin had just finally hit your stride’ she huffed rolling her eyes. ‘I really am sorry for yesterday and I’m sorry for taking her side. I would say she can expect an earful from me but don’t worry i’ll leave it’ she laughed and you could tell Mason was happy to put everything to bed.

Debbie stayed for a little while longer, the three of you talking how you imagined you would be the day before and you felt like you made a good second impression. Debbie giving you a big hug before she left and you let her and Mason have a few moments alone while you got settled on the sofa.

You see how much lighter Mason looked when he came back to join you, the smile on his face was permanently etched there throughout the rest of the day as you stayed cuddled on the sofa. Watching all his favourite movies in between naps and plenty of stolen kisses until he couldn’t keep his hands off you and you ended up having sleepy sofa sex as he rested his head on yours and told you how much he loved you repeatedly.

It was just before dinner when things went a little south. You knew something was coming as it always did with you two. Like god was testing you to see how much you could take and because things had been too perfect for you all day he was ready to throw a spanner in the works. You’d just nipped off to the bathroom it finally happened and you felt you heart drop as the shock ripped through you.

‘Ughhhh Mason! What the fuck!’

‘What?’ He called, his voice getting closer as he ran towards where you were and you smiled as you knew he’d probably find it funny.

‘You left the bloody toilet seat up, I nearly fell in’ you shouted back, adjusting yourself as you laughed it off but when you were finished and you finally opened the door, he was sitting on the bed like a deer caught in the headlights. You didn’t take much notice of it at first and made your way over to him but as you got closer you could see the panic all over him. ‘Seat down when I’m here remember’ you teased, trying to get him to smile but your words had the adverse effect.

‘Sorry’ he gulped his eyes falling to the floor as he played with his fingers and you weren’t sure how to take his reaction.

‘It’s alright’ you whispered, taking a seat next to his to hopefully catch his eyes but he’d withdrawn himself completely and didn’t even react when you took his hands in yours.

‘Do you you, um… do you want me to take you home?’

‘No? Why would I want that?’ You asked but he just shrugged his shoulders softly.

‘Cause I did something stupid and annoyed you. I thought you might want to be away from me’

‘Mase, baby, you forgot to put the seat down, you didn’t kill someone’ you told him softly, the hurt across his face only really hitting you then as you realised what might be happening. The pain of his past so evident and your heart sunk that you made him feel that way again.

‘Sorry I just-‘

‘You don’t need to explain’ you whispered ‘I’m so sorry, I was just having a laugh I didn’t even think’ you explained and you watched him take a breath as if he wanted to say something else but the words never came. In the end he just gripped your hand and looked back up at you hopefully.

‘Let’s just forget it then, yeah? He asked hopefully, letting you pull him into a kiss that you both smiled into and even though you knew you both felt a bit rubbish about what had happened you knew you could move on from it fairly quick and reassure Mason that he’d never have to leave you.

The rest of the night went without a hitch and you were determined to make it up to him. Cooking him dinner and even making him a special dessert that he sat and ate it with the biggest grin on his face. The happiness was so evident on him and you felt accomplished that you could make him smile by just treating him how he should have been all along.

The treats didn’t stop there and you changed the bed sheets whilst Mason was in the shower. You knew he loved the feeling of fresh ones but it was also a treat for yourself as his were much softer than yours and after a little bit of a struggle you undressed yourself down to your knickers before crawling inside as you loved the feel of it just as much.

You weren’t in there on your own long, Mason sneaking his way out of the bathroom shortly after you’d gotten comfy and the feeling of Mason pressing himself against you made you shiver. The sensation of his warm skin on yours was second to none and you almost had to hold in a moan at how good it felt to have him next to you.

When you felt his lips on the back of your neck a content hum fell from your lips as you shivered. You knew he’d been waiting to get his hands on you again properly but there was a little voice in the back of your head that was stopping you from getting you fully involved.

When it came to sex, Mason was the king of being unselfish and made sure he gave you exactly what you wanted even at the detriment of his own pleasure. He knew what to say, what positions you loved and sometimes you could tell he wasn’t feeling it as much as you were but he was so into making you feel good that he didn’t care. Doing whatever he could to push you over the finish line before he took care of himself but you were about to change that tonight.

Because even if he didn’t care about putting himself first, you did and as he kissed his way down your back you began to hatch a plan so you could repay him for all the times he’d made you the priority.

As much as you didn’t want to as you adored the way he was touching you, you rolled over and sat yourself on Mason's lap. His hands reaching round to grab your bum as your thighs wrapped around his and you could feel he was hard for you already. Only the thin material of your underwear separating you as Mason hadn’t bothered to put on anything at all after his shower and right now you were glad.

‘What do you want, baby?’ He asked, pulling you further into him as his hands wandered over your naked back and back down to your bum so he could give it a squeeze and you had to hold yourself back from rocking your hips over him as his touches were turning you on so much.

‘Well I was about to ask you the same, what do you want’ you asked, the question catching him off guard a little but he shook it off and sent you a teasing smile.

‘I want whatever you want’

‘Come on Mase, let me do something for you’ you argued and you knew this was about to be a battle that you wouldn’t win easily.

‘Sex isn’t about what I want’ he smiled but you just rolled your eyes at him cause you knew he’d always thought this but tonight you were going to make it all about him.

‘Yes it is, come on tell me. What’s something you’ve always wanted to try?’ You asked him but he was frozen and you knew his mind was blank.

‘I don’t know… how about you sit on my face?’

‘No, that’s not allowed’ you told him sternly and you knew right away he wasn’t happy about it.

‘Why not’ he laughed ‘you said I can pick what I want, that’s what I want’

‘No you don’t, you just picked that cause you know I like it’ you told him, shimming back down his legs before placing yourself in between them. ‘How about I get started while you have a think yeah?’ You asked but you didn’t give him a chance to reply before lowering your naked chest to the mattress and taking him into your hand so you could guide him into your mouth.

‘You really think I’ll be able to come up with anything while my dicks in your mouth- oh fuck y/n that’s it’ he breathed. His fingers automatically coming to your hair so he could brush it out of your face and when you made eye contact you knew you were driving him crazy.

Mason didn’t ask for head that often, only when he was feeling lazy and you forgotten how much you loved having him in the palm of your hand. The way he just surrendered to you immediately as he moaned and groaned with every flick of your tongue made you feel like you were in charge of him and you let yourself get lost in him. Making sure your bum was sticking up high in the hair so he’d have something to look at but when you looked up at him his eyes were fixed in the corner of the room until he was back looking at you.

‘Come on Masey, tell me what you want’ you demanded after coming off of him with a pop. Using your hand to work him as you took a moment to get your breath back but now you’d given him a taste he seemed to be more comfortable with asking for what he wanted.

‘I want you on top’ he breathed, rolling you off him slightly so he could lay down a bit as you took your underwear off but you noticed his head was still propped up slightly.

‘Okay’ you smiled, attempting to climb over his lap but his hands on your hips stopped you in your tracks.

‘Wait’ he suddenly breathed, face cautious as he thought about whether or not he should say what he wanted to but you nodded at him encouragingly to let him know it was fine. ‘Other way’

‘Okay’ you smiled, trying to hide your own nerves as you’d never done it this way before but you did as he asked and settled over him your your back to him, trying to line yourself up with him but when you looked up, the first thing you noticed was the mirror had been moved from the corner of the room and Masons eyes looking back at you through it. ‘You’ve moved the mirror?’

‘Uh, yeah’ he laughed, moving his head back around so you couldn’t look at him though it anymore but when you turned your body slightly to face him you could see how red his cheeks and nose were.

‘You were watching me earlier weren’t you?’ You laughed and he covered his face with his hands before he was laughing too.

‘Yeah I was’ he confessed. ‘I got a glimpse of you the other night and I wanted to try it today. I like seeing you from all angles’ he winked and you felt your tummy flip at how hot you found it but before you could say anything else he was sitting up fully behind you. ‘Now I know you wanna make this about me but I think you might need a bit of help okay?’ He told you. Wrapping one arm around your waist before settling the other on your upper thigh and you knew what was coming as he began to kiss over your back.

You watched his hands move in the mirror, gently tracing his fingertips up and down your thigh before touching you exactly where you needed him to. Tracing over your clit a few times before dipping his fingers inside you and the growl that left his lip made your head spin.

‘This wet just from giving me head, yeah?’ He whispered before playfully biting your side. And you instinctively felt your hands travel up to your chest as you rocked your hips over his fingers. ‘You like it that much I’ll put you to work more often’

‘Fuck, Mase’ you moaned, a shiver rolling through you at just how turned on you were and you couldn’t keep your eyes away from the mirror that was just off to the side. Your eyes constantly meeting Mason's dark ones and the sight of the pair of you was driving you wild.

‘You see yourself, yeah? Can you see what I see now?’ He asked. ‘I’m so fucking in love with you, you know that?’

‘Mase please’ you whimpered, starting to get overwhelmed with everything that was happening but he knew you were ready now. Laying back down and positioning your hips over him before he was guiding himself inside you and pulling you down further into his lap.

You froze for a second or two, not really sure what you were meant to be doing as you'd never done it this way before but with Mason's hands on your bum guiding you, you began to move your hips and the first moans fell from his mouth.

That was all it took to spur you on to keep going. That mixed with Mason's dirty mouth and the image of him sliding in and out of you in the mirror. You’d caught eyes with him a few times as his eyes were flicking between looking at you in the mirror and watching your bum bounce up and down on him. His hands gripping your bum every so often and you knew he was getting close as he bucked up into you.

‘You wanna cum, Mase?’ You asked, the pair of you staring each other down through the mirror and you could tell he was almost done just by how dark his eyes were. His nose red and flushed whilst his hair stuck up in all directions and you’d sworn he never looked so good.

‘I can’t fucking hold it’ he whimpered, the sound of his voice pushing you to where you needed to be and all you wanted was to reach your highs and melt into each other like usual.

‘It’s okay, I’m right behind you’ you told him, the knowledge that you’d been able to work him up into this state had pushed you closer to the edge than you realised and soon enough you were fluttering around him as he held your hips and bounced you on top of him until he was shuddering beneath you.

It was awkward trying to get you off of him and laid next to him without making too much of a mess but you managed it. Curling yourself into his side and resting your head over his frantic heart that you felt start to slow as soon as you were both comfy.

‘Hey Mase?’ You whispered and he looked down at you softly. His brows raised as he was unsure about what you wanted to say but as soon as you spoke your favourite smile returned. ‘I’m in love with you too’

It was a rare few days that the both of you had off when things took a drastic turn. You knew things had been too perfect lately and something was bound to push you off track but never did you think Mason would be up to his old tricks again.

You were doing your skincare in the bathroom as Mason took a quick shower. His phone face down next to yours on the counter and when the sound of multiple texts came through and yours didn't light up, you realised it must be his.

‘Is that my phone or yours gorgeous?’ Mason shouted from inside the shower so you quickly flipped his phone to confirm it was actually his.

‘Yours’

‘Can you see what it is? I don’t wanna get my hands wet’ he told you. Popping his head from around the curtain and his cheesy grin made you giggle.

‘Just a load of texts from Lewis’ you confirmed and he nodded at you before disappearing back behind the curtain.

‘Can you see what he wants’ he asked, shouting the code to his phone for you to tap in but you were stood in shock for a few moments at the fact he’d actually told you how to unlock his phone before you did it and to your surprise it worked. ‘You done it?’

‘Oh um yeah, he’s just confirming about the charity event next week?’ You told him. Trying to hold on the wobble in your voice as you were so unsure and felt like you were invading his privacy.

‘Ahh okay, can you message him back for me? just say thanks and I’ll call him in a bit’ he told you and without thinking you quickly replied with what he’d asked you to. Wanting to lock his phone as quickly as you could as it felt so strange to me using it

‘Okay, done’

‘Thank you baby, I’ll be out in a minute yeah’

‘Okay’ you told him before leaving and getting ready for bed but you couldn’t seem to wipe the smile off of your face.

When Mason eventually joined you, you could tell he was looking at you in amusement. Clearly unsure as to why you were grinning like you’d just won the lottery and when you both climbed into bed he pulled you into his lap so your legs were laid across his thighs with his arms around you and your heart thumped at how he looked down at you.

‘What you smiling at, pretty girl?’

‘You gave me the code to your phone’ you whispered, smiling even wider like a cat that got the cream as he looked down at you and soon enough his face mirrored yours. ‘No ones ever given me the code to their phone before’

‘Well I’ve got nothing to hide’ he told you sinserly, ‘And you can use it or look on there whenever you want to, yeah? I’ll be honest it’s a bit boring but you’ve got free reign’

‘Is it just you and Woody sending each other heart eyes all the time?’ You teased and thankfully he laughed as he ticked your sides.

‘You’ve caught me’ he laughed, dropping a heavy kiss on your lips before pulling back to look at you seriously. ‘You can trust me, you know that right?’

‘I know’ you nodded, and you really thought you could.

The fact he’d given you the code made you not want to bother looking. You knew he had nothing to hide and he’d given you no reason to think anything different was going on until one night after work around a week later you were staying with him again. Mason was taking a call on his work phone in the conservatory when his personal one began to ring beside you and when you looked down at the screen your skin prickled uncomfortably.

Robin? Why was she calling? And why was she still saved in his phone with a heart next to her name and a photo of them all over each other? you wondered. Letting it ring until the call ended before a few texts poured in and your curiosity got the better of you. Punching in the code as quickly as you could with your heart pounding in your ears to try and see what she’d said.

He text her from his other phone? And he was meeting her tomorrow? Surely not this must be some sort of trick she’s playing but the heart by her name and the picture of the two of them making out was making your head spin and you didn’t know what to do.

Mason's voice was soon booming through the house, letting you know he was getting closer so you quickly locked his phone and put it back where it was just in time for him to end his call and take a seat next to you. You tried your best to act casual and like you hadn’t just uncovered his secret but you forgot he could read you like a book and gave you a confused look as soon as he saw you.

‘You alright, gorgeous?’ He asked, his voice full of concern as he wrapping his arm around you just like always but you hid yourself in his body and nodded your head.

‘I’m fine, just sleepy’ you told him, not wanting to say anything and call him out of it really was nothing but you couldn't lie and pretend you hadn’t seen what you had so when he offered you an early night you took it. Noticing how he was reading over messages on his personal phone when you slipped into bed but his brows were drawn and his face fallen as he typed out his replies.

‘You still have that meeting tomorrow after work?’ He asked as he got settled behind you. His arm laying loosely around your tummy as he spoke into your shoulder and you could only muster a nod. Not trusting your voice in case it broke but he seemed happy enough with your reply. ‘Okay, well I’ve got dinner with Rasmus tomorrow night so I might not see you’ he told you and you wondered if this was just a lie so he could go and see Robin. If it was a lie he was horribly good at it.

He was asleep soon after you said goodnight, however you laid there awake for hours. Worrying about what tonight might hold and if he was seeing her again behind your back. You knew you should have said something but in a weird way you wanted him to do it. At least then you’d have the evidence and when you didn’t hear from him for a few hours at around 5pm the next day you could only think of the worst possible scenario.

Much to your delight your meeting was cancelled and rather than go to Masons flat like you were planning on to surprise him you just went home. Wanting to be in your own bed and you laid there with the hump. Wondering what he was doing now or who he was with but after a quick look on Twitter there was a photo of Mason and Rasmus with a fan from half an hour ago and you felt even more confused.

You knew he’d sent you a few texts to see how you were and where you were but you’d left them all unanswered. Not really knowing what to say and if you wanted to see him but at around 9pm you heard the door open downstairs and you know it was him. Making use of the key you’d given him two weeks ago even though you now spent most of your time at his.

‘You here sweetheart?’ He called, hearing him walk around downstairs but you didn’t reply, laying on your side away from the door as you pretended to be asleep just in case he came upstairs and soon after you heard him jogging up the steps and your door opening.

‘Baby? Baby are you- oh shit’ he whispered, his voice getting quiet when he realised you were asleep before you heard him go across the hall to the bathroom. You wondered if he was getting himself ready to come and join you and shit all you wanted was the feeling of his arms around you to make you feel better you could also feel your heart shattering in your chest.

When he eventually came back you knew you were tense so you tried to relax but you could hear him undressing behind you before he slid behind you and his first touch made you jump.

‘It’s okay, it’s only me’ he laughed but when you tried to curl into yourself more so you could hide from him, his tone shifted instantly. ‘Baby? What’s happened? What’s wrong?’ He asked, trying to tighten his grip on you as you pulled away but you couldn’t fight him off. In the end you just face planted the pillows so he couldn’t look at you as the first sobs fell from your lips. ‘Hey come on, just tell me’

‘I feel like an idiot’ you told him, giving up slightly and letting him turn you but you sat up so you didn’t have to lie down with him.

‘Why baby? What's happened?’

‘Where have you been?’ You hiccuped, finally looking over to see him and watching his face drop ever so slightly ‘Just tell me, don’t treat me like I’m stupid. Were you really just with Rasmus all night? ’

‘Baby, I don’t know what you think is going on-‘

‘I know you went to see her, or you’re planning on it at least’ you confessed and it’s like you watched his heart break right in front of you. ‘How could you, after everything?’

‘Look at me, please baby let me explain’ he whispered. Gripping your jaw gently to tilt your face up and in the end you caved and looked at him. This was the explanation you wanted so you might as well hear him out. ‘She’s moving out of the house. You know I said she could stay while she looked for something else? Well she’s going now and I had to meet her so she could sign everything over to me’

‘What?’

‘Yeah, there was some stuff in her name and we said we’d sort it when the time came. I just didn’t want you worrying or panicking so I didn’t say anything but now I realise that was stupid of me cause it’s made it all worse’

‘Oh’ you breathed, the tension lifting off you immediately but you could feel your tears coming thick and fast as you realised everything was fine.

‘I know I’ve still got a lot to prove, but you know I’d never-‘

‘I’m so sorry’ you sobbed, head falling into his chest as he took you in his arms but he just held you and let you cry. Knowing you probably needed to get your emotions out. ‘She called you and I went through your phone. I’m so sorry I know you said it was fine but I get if you want to change the code now’

‘Not at all’ he whispered into your hair before he gripped you tighter. ‘I told you I’ve got nothing to hide and you can look where you want’ he whispered. ‘But baby if you see something or are worried about anything then please talk to me okay? Cause I can assure you it’ll be nothing’

‘I feel like an idiot. I just panicked’

‘I know gorgeous, it’s okay’ he told you but you didn’t feel like it was. You felt like you’d royally messed up even if he was looking at you like everything would be okay.

‘Please don’t be mad at me’ you whispered. Your lip wobbling as you thought you’d ruined everything but he just smiled at you and held your jaw so you had to look at him and you felt your heart rate slow down as he softly stroked your cheek.

‘Hey no, no I would never’ he told you softly. ‘I’m more mad at myself for just not being honest and getting you in a state. I thought i was doing the right thing’

‘I just didn’t want you to think I was insecure but maybe I am’ you shrugged sadly and you could see how much it hurt him to hear you say that as he knew his actions were the cause of it. ‘Its okay, Mase. It’ll just have to be something we work on together’ you told him. Resting your hands on his shoulders so you could stroke his neck as you knew it calmed him but he still looked heartbroken at your confession.

‘I hate that I’ve made you feel like this’

‘Masey it’s okay, it’s just something we’ll have to work on together okay?’ You smiled at him. ‘It's just a blip but we’ll get through it. We always do’

‘I promised myself I’d never make you cry because of me again’ he gulped and your heart broke before you pulled him into your arms. The both of you sad but latching onto the other for comfort and the feeling of him breathing you in made you relax.

‘Let’s just use it as a learning curve, yeah? We just need to communicate more and we’ll be fine’ you told him. Your fingers getting lost in his hair so you could massage his scalp and when he nodded into your neck you knew you’d both be fine. ‘I love you so much, Mason’

‘I love you, too’ he told you. Pulling back just enough for him to kiss you tenderly and when you suggested getting comfy to sleep he let you lay down before resting his head on your chest. ‘We’ll be okay’

‘Of course we will be, we always are’

You were on the phone to Mason on your lunch break two days later when you bought up dinner with a friend but much to your dismay he couldn’t go with you.

‘I might not be able to make it baby, I’ve gotta get stuff boxed up and moved back into the house’ he explained and a feeling you couldn’t describe swirled in your tummy.

‘Oh?’

‘Yeah she’s moving out on Wednesday so I can move back in finally’ he told you and you could hear the excitement in his voice already.

‘Oh wow that’s quick’ you told him, thankful he couldn’t see your face as you weren't exactly sure what expression you had on right now. Still processing that you’d have to take on this whole new part of his life when you were so comfortable in the current version.

‘Yeah I thought Thursday maybe we could go there? Stay the night like get settled and get you used to it there. What do you think?’ He asked and you didn’t know why but the idea filled you with dread. You knew the plan was always to move back in once she was out as that was Mason's home but now the time was here you weren’t sure how you felt about moving into somewhere that was so full of her.

You brushed it off though, trying to be positive about the situation, telling him it was a great idea and it was fine until he was pulling onto the drive and you felt awkward immediately.

If you thought his flat was nice then this was a whole different game. You’d never seen a house like this before and even the driveway felt bigger than your whole flat.

Even from the outside you could get a feel for how nice it would be inside. The size and scale was overwhelming and you knew it was well taken care of as all the plants and lawns on the outside were in perfect condition but you had a sneaky suspicion none of that was down to Mason.

He was dying to get inside though and as soon as the car was off he was jumping out. Looking up in what only can be described as pride at his home before he was searching for you and holding out his hand for you to take.

‘What do you think?’

‘Its huge’ you whispered and when he wiggled his eyebrows at you suggestively you rolled your eyes at him with a smile.

‘Come on, let’s go in’ he laughed but you felt yourself stuck to the floor until he was pulling you forward. ‘You want the tour?’

‘Okay’ you nodded, trying to send him a smile but it felt forced and he could see you were nervous so he kissed the back of your hand before walking you inside.

It was huge, five times the size of his flat and you knew you’d get lost in there eventually. But it wasn’t just the size of it that was throwing you off, it was all of Mason's memories that were attached to it.

It was homely in a way that Mason's flat wasn’t. There you could tell it was made for a man to live in whilst this place had a woman’s touch all over it. The empty picture frames a reminder of maybe what used to fill them and the bunch of flowers in the hall made your tummy squeeze.

She was everywhere you looked, from her water bottle that was conveniently left in the kitchen to some of her skincare in the bathroom. You didn’t feel safe from her anywhere and the longer you walked around the worse you felt.

It was like taking a tour of his old life, the one you both wanted to forget, but Mason seemed to be in his element. Walking around and finding things he thought he’d lost and telling you silly stories from moments when he lived there but thankfully they only involved him or Woody.

You couldn’t deny the house was beautiful, loads of bedrooms so all his family could come and stay and a cute cinema room with massive cushions and a big fluffy blanket but the smell of what you could only presume was Robin’s perfume was lingering and you felt your eyes sting. You wanted to be as excited as he was but you just couldn’t.

After the grand tour he went and grabbed your bags from the car. You ordered food in the end, sitting on the sofa as he told you about all the changes he wanted to make that he was never allowed to and you began to relax as thoughts of her left your mind. Hoping you could maybe one day erase every part of her and not think about her being there in every corner of the room you looked.

You could feel yourself relaxing as the night went on but you knew what time it would be soon and your heart was racing but not in the usual way Mason made it.

‘You wanna head up to bed, love?’ He asked, kissing your cheek softly as he stroked your arm but you didn’t reply. This was the part you’d been dreading but when he pulled you up you went with him, following him up the stairs and into the bedroom and once you were in you froze.

Everything was wrong. The smell in the air did nothing but remind you that this used to be their shared room and it was clear that she’d been living here for a while. Thankfully the sheets looked fresh but you still felt uncomfortable about it so you took your time in the bathroom getting ready for bed but the empty products of hers in the bin made your eyes sting.

Once you were ready and couldn’t waste any more time away from him you joined him back in his bedroom. Watching him undress down to his boxers and jump right in, clearly wanting to get comfortable as quickly as he could so you could cuddle like you’d promised him all day but you were frozen to the spot.

That was their bed and this was their room.

He’d picked his usual side, was that always his side? The thought of you getting in next to him was too much for you and you just wanted the ground to swallow you up completely.

‘Baby? Is everything okay?’ Mason asked. His voice soft as tilted his head to look at you, but you kept your eyes on your hands as you played with your fingers.

What were you supposed to say?

In the end you heard him move, climbing out from under the covers so he could make his way to the end of the bed and sit on the edge. Beckoning you over to him again but this time you went to him. Letting him sit you on his lap as he kissed your temple and you felt a shiver roll through you.

‘You don’t wanna sleep in here, do you?’ He asked quietly, gently tilting your face up so you’d look at him and the understanding look on his face made your heart break.

‘Sorry’ you sniffed, trying to keep your bottom lip from wobbling ‘I just-‘

You were cut off by the feeling of him sweeping you up in his arms and walking towards the door. A slight giggle coming from your lips that he laughed at before he walked you down the hall and into one of the spare rooms that you’d been in earlier so he could pop you on the floor gently. Wrapping his arms around your waist slowly and only then did you look at him properly, a soft look on his face and you knew you had to explain yourself a little bit.

‘I don’t know how to say this without it sounding awful but I’m struggling being here a bit’ you confessed and a sad but knowing look crossed his face. ‘I know she’s gone but she’s everywhere I look, it’s like one in one out’ you joked but you knew your comment had hit him hard.

‘I don’t mean for you to feel like that at all, baby’ he whispered before kissing along your hairline softly.

‘Do you want me to take us back to the flat? I don’t mind’

‘No it’s okay, I’ll be fine here’

‘She’s never slept in here i promise. This was my room for a bit when we first started arguing, before I got the flat. It's also Summers room when she stays’ he told you and you felt a lot better about being in there.

‘Let’s sleep here then. Make some new memories’ you smiled at him and you could see his shoulders relax now he knew you were happier in here.

‘I love you so much, you know that right?’ He whispered, trying to reassure you as best as he could but you felt a lot better already knowing that he understood.

‘I know’ you smiled, watching his face relax ever so slightly. ‘And I love you just as much’

You didn't see Mason for a few days as you were both busy with work but when you had some time Mason invited you over to the flat. You wondered if he’d ask you over to the house but you couldn’t say you weren’t relieved to turn the key in the lock and find him cooking for the pair of you in the kitchen.

Once you’d both eaten you let him find a movie for the pair of you as you went to the loo but as soon as you returned you could hear him finishing up a call and he gave you a sly wink as you sat yourself down next to him.

‘Who was that?’

‘Estate agents. They’re gonna come take pictures of the house tomorrow’ he told you nonchalantly but you weren’t about to let him say that without an explanation.

‘What, why?’

‘Cause I’m selling it’ he smiled and you knew your face was one of shock.

‘What? Mase no I didn’t mean-‘

‘No no, you were right’ he reassured you. Wrapping his arm around you and pulling you further into his side. ‘That house is too full of memories i’d really rather forget so I’m getting rid and we can start fresh yeah?’

‘Mason…’ you whispered, not believing what you were hearing but he was just smiling his usual goofy smile and you knew you’d be okay.

‘I’m gonna start looking for some new places but why don’t you have a look too? We can go and view them together but there’s no rush cause we’ve got here in the meantime, but this next place I want it to be ours okay? So think about what you want and don’t want’

‘Are you sure?’ You giggled. The prospect of living together officially hadn’t really crossed your mind yet even though you spent every night together and the thought of looking for a home together thrilled you.

‘C’mere’ he whispered, pulling you further into his lap and all you wanted was to kiss him. ‘What did I say on our first date, huh? I’m in this for the long haul, remember. I know it’s a big step and we can wait until you’re ready but we spend all our time with each other that we can anyway and it can only be better once we’re finally together under the same roof’

‘I can’t believe we’ve made it to this point’ you laughed, trying to keep your tears at bay as you seemed to cry at the drop of a hat these days and you wanted to keep yourself in check but Mason's cheeky smile was helping and you knew he was about to make a stupid joke. That’s why you loved him though.

‘We’ve come a long way, huh? And I can’t tell you how excited I am to be so far away from any neighbours’

‘Your neighbours aren’t bad here’

‘Yeah but now I’ll get to fuck you without everyone hearing’ he whispered against your cheek and a loud laugh fell from your lips.

‘Masonnn’ you groaned, trying to act like you were annoyed with his dirty words but you couldn’t ignore the way your tummy flipped at the thought of being able to fully let go with him and try new things. You’d always tried to be quiet here as you knew the walls weren’t exactly thick and as you tried to hide in his neck he just held you tighter to him.

‘Sorry baby’ he laughed, pulling away so you couldn’t hide your face and when you looked up at him he kissed you deeply before chucking. ‘Do you wanna go and have really quiet sex?’

You didn't say a word, just giggled onto his lips before pulling away and leading him into the bedroom so you could take care of him just how he’d liked it as since you’d bitten the bullet and asked what he liked, you had discovered a new found love for pleasing him.

He still fought you on it, letting you know he wanted to make it all about you but every so often he let you have your way and tonight was about to be one of those nights whether he liked it or not.

You knew he loved it though and when you were both knackered and spent you laid facing each other in bed as he held you to his body. Both sharing a pillow as your noses just about touched and the way he was looking at you like you hung the moon was making you blush.

‘I love the way you love me’ he whispered suddenly, feeling his thumb brush along your jaw as his nose bumped yours lightly. ‘I hope I can make you feel how you make me feel’

‘How do I make you feel?’ You asked, your voice just loud enough for him to hear and even in the dark you could see his eyes twinkling. Wanting to spill the contents of his brain and heart to you as he was feeling everything for you right now and all you wanted was to let him know you felt exactly the same.

‘Safe. And understood. Like loving me is easy’ he confessed, your heart breaking at the way he didn’t believe he was good enough and you quickly pressed a kiss to his cheek in hopes it would make him feel even a tiny bit better.

‘That’s cause it is easy’ you told him, feeling him relax as he let out a breath he’d clearly been holding for far too long and when you heard him sniff you knew he was getting a little emotional. ‘Why do you think I fell for you in the first place, huh? Loving you is like breathing to me. I don’t even have to think about it, it just happens and I fall more and more for you every second I’m with you’

‘I don’t deserve you’

‘Yes you do. You deserve to be loved just like everyone else is’ you told him and you almost smiled at how emotional the pair of you had become. ‘I know you've never had someone prove that to you but you do Masey. You’re the kindest and most gentle man I’ve ever met, you make me laugh more than anyone else ever has or ever will do. You’re my world, and my life is so much better with you in it Mase. I love you so so much’

‘I love you too’ he whispered. His voice thick as he tried to hide in your neck so you turned onto your back a little and let him rest his head on your chest. Your words had hit him luck a truck and he swore he’d never been so in love with anyone or could ever be again. You flipped his world upside down in the best way possible and he couldn’t help but spill his guts to you. ‘I never thought I’d feel like this about someone, I know it’s early but I’m gonna marry you one day’

‘Oh yeah?’ You laughed, scratching his head gently whilst trying to make out that you weren’t as affected by his words as you were but you knew your heart was thumping right under his ear.

‘Oh yeah, get the proposal in my head already’ he joked as he squeezed you a little tighter. ‘I just don’t ever want us to end, you know? You're my home and I’ve never had that before. We’re twin flames, remember?’

‘I remember’ you whispered, kissing his head gently before he was looking up at you in awe again.

'Can I tell you something silly?' he asked, his voice quiet in the silent room but you heard him loud and clear and wanted him to know he could tell you anything.

'Of course you can'

'Sometimes when I think about you I feel so full of love I just wanna burst like I can't contain it' he laughed and you squeezed him tightly to your body thinking he was the most adorable thing before he looked away again out of shyness. 'I can feel it right now like I don't know what to do with myself'

'Look at me you laughed, wanting to see his face again as you spoke and when his gentle eyes landed on yours you let your mouth run away with you. 'I feel like that too, a lot actually. I know we didn't take the easy route, but I wouldn't change anything for a second okay? All of this shit we've gone through it's just made us stronger and you're worth every single tear I've ever cried so please don't ever say you don't deserve me cause I love you in ways I can't even love myself' you confessed. Watching his eyes glaze over and you told him everything he’d ever wanted to hear but little did he know you weren’t done yet.

‘At the end of the day, it’s all about finding your person and you, Mason, you are my person. The person I want to spend the rest of my days laughing with, crying with. The one who I want to come home to and fall asleep next to every single day and I hope you don’t ever forget that’

‘Your my person too’ he whispered, overwhelmed by everything you’d said and you knew you had to break the ice a little bit.

‘I better be’ you winked but he just rolled his eyes as he sat up slightly so he could hover over you.

‘Can I take that as a yes then?’ He smiled, referring to him mentioning that he wanted to marry you earlier but even though you knew what the answer would be already you didn’t want to inflate his ego at all and you knew he already knew the answer.

‘You’re too much’ you laughed, pulling him back down next to you so you could hold each other again but as he got settled back next to you on the pillow you knew deep down he’d never be too much for you.

Thank you so much for making it this far and finishing. I really do appreciate it and I hope you loved reading it as much as I loved writing it. Od love to hear what you thought so please do let me know as it would make my day 🩷 love you guys xxx

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oepionie · 2 years

Text

—VOICELINES ABOUT YOU. various

Synopsis: Yuuken interrogates some of the boys on the campus about their special someone. Hearing their loving ramblings on you was certainly not what he expected.

Tags: Self-Indulgent, Fluff, Angst if you squint really hard, Reader is not Yuu, Tweels are a bit...too mad in love, I brainrotted so hard, You're Malleus' fiancee, Malleus doesn't know how to tell a joke someone help him

Cw. Riddle's Mother, Overworking, Hospitalizations, Poor living conditions, Illness, Bullying, Allusions to violence, Marriage, Tad bit of possesive behavior, Description of stabbing

WordCount: 2k+ | 💌Masterlist

R.R | RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS:

About: Riddle's Rose

"Rose? I see you've met that troublesome intern at the library. That's a nickname. Their name is (Y/N) and yes, they are my partner." "A-Ah? I'm so direct? Well, you asked me a question! Though...I would prefer that this discussion end here. I prefer to keep my relationship with them private.”

Chat: Childhood Memories

“Ever since we were young, (Y/N) was quite rebellious. The complete opposite of me as a child, really. They were always sneaking off during the night and coming over to visit me. Mother...didn't approve of them and often screamed in their face. I was quite terrified she would scare them away, though that didn't stop them at all. Haha, I think they got even more persistent afterwards. I am truly glad I met them.”

Personal Story: To the Hospital

“Again...? I see. Thank you, Trey. Hmph, I'll have to schedule another visit once more."

> "Riddle? What's wrong?"

"Ah, Yuuken—It's Rose. They've gotten admitted to the hospital...again. (Y/N) is quite impulsive and tends to bite off more than they can chew. On more than occasion, like now, I would find out about their hospital admissions via Trey days or even weeks after."

>"Aren't you dating? Why aren't they telling you?"

"They claim that they withhold the information from me out of concern for my workload or out of fear of being a burden. Though that is—a sentiment I don't understand. Nothing is more important to me than their health."

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R.B | RUGGIE BUCCHI

About: The Photo In His Wallet

"Where is it?! Man, I'm so fucked if I lost it—Oh?! Oi, Yuuken! That wallet's mine! Man, thanks a lot. I really would've been screwed over if it weren't for you." "Eh? The photo? Shishishishi curious, aren't cha? Hmmm...how 'bout this? You get me a steaming hot meat bun and I'll give you a story time about them."

Chat: A Hopeful Future

"My studies? Course I take them seriously! That's what's gonna' put food on the table one day. Plus, I wanna' give (Y/N) the life they deserve—What'd I mean? Well, if I'm going to be their husband, I want 'em to live comfortably. It's not like we need anythin' luxurious, anyways. As long as we're together and there's enough food to go by, it's going to be all right."

Personal Story: In Sickness and In Health

"....that's good to hear. Please look after 'em, granny. Love ya." The call ends and Ruggie sighs. "That's the best news I've received since."

>"News?"

"Guh-?! Man! What's with you and sneaking up on me!? Yeah yeah—you heard right...news. Granny just called me to talk about (Y/N), their health is looking up. Tell ya' what, I knew that deal with Azul was worth it. I managed to snag some medicine and send it home."

>"Oh? Medicine?"

"Yeah. Ever since my first year of high school, they were sick and bedridden. (Y/N)'s parents don't have enough money for a doctor, so there's not much they can do. Of course, I'm out here doin' my best to help too."

"I really...I really wanna see them up and runnin' again. Hey, who knows—maybe we'll get to make flower crowns for the village kids again...together."

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A.A | AZUL ASHENGROTTO

About: An Interrogation

"Yuuken, you’ve met (Y/N), I hear. Well, as their partner, it's only right that I ask you about it. I assume you don't mind. So, what is your opinion of them? Nothing short of perfection, I hope."

"Hm? You think they're nice? Good then."

Chat: Busy Octoboss

"With all the deals, my maintenance of my academic ranking, and my position as Monstro Lounge's manager, my workload is quite substantial compared to most. And, I regret to say that it does get in the way of my personal life, including quality time with my lover. It tears at my heart, yet I cherish how they're so understanding and patient. Still, sometimes I can't help but think I am undeserving of them..."

Personal Story: Deep Sea Bonds

"My childhood is not something that I appreciate or want to remember. Yet, despite everything I've been through, I do think it is pleasant to look back on the days when I met them. You see, (Y/N) was bullied too. They were just like me, relentlessly bad mouthed and hurt by the kids around us. However, they never failed to greet me every day with a bright smile on their face."

>"What a sunny person."

"They'd also always have the courage and bravery to stand up for me, often taking the brunt of the bullying. I wish I could say I did the same for them...but I was far too cowardly back then..."

>"Wow. You two must be really close, then."

"Of course. They've been through a lot.Which is exactly why I won't allow anyone to speak ill of them anymore." Azul pauses, smiling slyly. "Say, Yuuken. You'll tell me if anyone casts aspersions on my Angelfish, won't you?"

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J.L | JADE LEECH

About: A Helping Hand

"Hm? What's that? Ah, you’ve met my darling pearl. I see. I do notice how you’ve been frequenting Monstro Lounge lately…Have you perhaps acquired a romantic interest towards them? No? Hehe, Alright." "Now, to answer your question, yes, that is right; (Y/N) routinely comes over to visit and aid me in my Mountain Treks. I couldn't be more grateful for their assistance."

Chat: The Pearl Ring

"Oya? I see you're curious about the ring I've been crafting. Well, it's for (Y/N). You see, in merfolk culture, we create handcrafted jewelry to serve as a courting gift. This is one of many ornaments I plan on giving them. Though, this one is...particularly unique. Ah, well...(Y/N) Leech does have a nice ring to it, does it not?"

Personal Story: A Jaded Reaction

"Oya? (Y/N) is spending the night at Ramshackle? Whatever reason for?"

>"Grim wanted to have a game night."

"Ah. I see. How...lovely. What's that? My smile is frightening you? Oho, now is it? Hehe, my deepest apologies. We eels tend to be quite...protective. I so anticipate you to take good care of them. And fret not, as long as you keep them away from any harm, no disputes shall arise."

>"Uh...and if something happened?"

"What if something happened...? Well, I'm sure you wouldn't mind being hunted down the face of the earth, tied up, and pulled down to the deepest pits of the blue ocean, where no one can hear your anguished cries for help...Would you?"

>"..."

"Just joking. I would never do that."

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F.L | FLOYD LEECH

About: A Sea Walnut

"(Y/N)? Aha~~~ You've heard of my little sea walnut? They're so adorable and squishy, yanno!—Is there a problem? If you got a problem with 'em, I'll squeeze you." "Oh? Not scared at all, huh? Ehe~ You sure are ballsy. Tread carefully now, shrimpy~!"

About: Ocean Currents

"Whenever a strong ocean current comes, sea walnut always huddles close to me and grabs my arm. They've always been afraid of being blasted away."

"They used to do that a lot when we were kids, but it never gets old. Hehe~ Sometimes, I lead them to places where the waves are strong, jus' so they can cling onto me! It's so funny to see 'em get afraid and scramble after me when I move too far away. "

Personal Story: Shark Attack

"Hmm~? Oh, what're these bite marks? Rad, aren't they? I got them after fighting a buncha' sharks."

>"Sharks?! Why would you do that?"

"To get these. It's shark teeth. Our anniversary is comin' up, and Jade suggested that I should make some jewelry for them. It's a merfolk courting thing. Azul 'n Jade told me to get them pearls, but I thought that was boring. So, I'm making one with shark teeth instead! Isn't that cool~?"

>"I-I guess, but what happened to the sharks?"

"Ugh. None of them were a fun hunt. The entire hoard swam away so fast. Can you believe it???… I’m not the typa eel who would let my prey get away that easily, though. And it’s not like I had anything better to do. Ehehe! There were so many of those sharks swarming around, but I managed to squeeze them all! Well, it was worth it in the end cuz I got what I wanted. I'll do anythin' for my little sea walnut~"

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J.V | JAMIL VIPER

About: A Hearty Meal

“What am i doing? Well, I'm making some Roast Chicken with Sumac Flatbread. Oh? Who's (Y/N)? Ah, Kalim must have told you, huh. (Y/N) is my partner. They are truly wonderful."

"For example—Though I like to think I'm skilled at disguising my true feelings, the moment I go to see them, they already know what I'm thinking. They have a keen sense of intuition and always seem to know what I need and when I need it. Truly, I'm grateful for such a caring—Ah, I'm sorry. I was rambling again."

Chat: Snake-Eyed Envy

"I can't dispute that a lot of people back home are vying for their affection.That bothers me at times. As Kalim's babysitter-ehem, retainer, I don't have enough time to check in on them every day...However, as cheesy as it sounds, I have yet to meet someone who is as smitten with (Y/N) as I am."

Personal Story: World Left Unsaid

"I soon understood that I was more than the circumstances of my birth, all thanks to (Y/N). In fact, My bond with Kalim has become stronger and more genuine thanks to them. I...realized my hatred for Kalim was just my desire for my circumstances to be different...I didn't hate him at all. Without (Y/N), I would never have understood it."

>"They must be very important to you, Jamil."

"Absolutely. I was terrified that I might lose them after my overblot. But to my surprise, they stayed with me. Naturally, it hurt them, but they were really compassionate towards me and about how much I had to go through."

>"Do they know of what you feel?"

"I...I don't think (Y/N) realizes just how much I cherish them. I don't think now's the right time for that though. I've hurt them too much and I still have a long way to go before I fix things."

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M.D | MALLEUS DRACONIA

About: He's Engaged?!

"I am, indeed, betrothed. Heh. Why are you looking so bewildered, Child of Man? If I'm going to be a king someday, it only makes sense that I would need someone to reign alongside me, no? At first glance, (Y/N) may seem aloof, but as you get to know them more, you'll see that they are actually incredibly lovely and warm."

"You never thought I was one for romance? My, my... What a bold statement, you best learn how to hold your tongue. Have you considered that I could use lightning to smite you where you stand?...Now, now—That was a joke. You don't have to cower in fear."

Chat: Safe And Sound

"My precious treasure tells me that I tend to get protective at times. Though can you really fault a lover for wanting to protect the one who is most important to them in this cruel, ruthless world. One where others will not hesitate to turn on you?"

Personal Story: The Art Of War

"I am actually the first of my lineage to wed someone who is not a noble. You see, (Y/N) is a knight-in-training. And, as you can probably guess, they served as my retainer. To see them at work was truly a magnificent sight to witness. They command attention and radiate strength. While I had always admired them, I could not bring myself to express my true feelings to them. Until...that night."

>"That night?"

"Yes. On the evening of Silver's 16th birthday, someone had rushed at me with a dagger in hand. (Y/N) was the first to respond and took the hit for me...The sound of their screams as the knife tore through their flesh was truly...horrifying."

>"That's horrible! What happened to the guy?"

"Worry not, he was taken care of accordingly....If there is anything I’ve learned from Lilia's many teachings, it’s that the worst calamities that befall an army arise from hesitation. To avoid further offensives, one must deal with and eliminate adversaries as soon as possible. Don't you think so?"

Likes and Reblogs are greatly appreciated and are very motivating on my end!

Taglist: @keedas @spadecentral @crypticbibliophile @pastellepastary @cassidycampfire @cocomollo @poisonioushearts @anonima-2 @kawaiipotatoghost @ramvuda @sweeneyblue1 @the-lost-anime-dad @chuuchuudreams @taruruchi

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forbidden-sin-bin · 1 year

Text

Sex and Filthy Smut headcanons

(Eminem x F!Reader Hc’s and drabbles)

Rated: E for explicit… no wait, this needs an X rating for possibly being the filthiest thing I’m gonna write in my life. God save my soul (probably not but hey at least I asked)

Warnings: I mean… look at the title. Need I say more??? Smut. Sex. Lovemaking, Intercourse. Whatever the hell you wanna call it. The whole 10 yards is here. It’s porn, not gonna lie at all.

Tags/Keywords: Smut, Heavy Smut, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, fluff, fluff and smut, Pre-established relationship, Sexual Content, Kink, Overstimulation, Dom/Sub, BDSM, Dirty Talk, Praise Kink, Oral Sex, Giving/Receiving, Healthy Relationships, Feel Good, Everything sinful under the sun is found here, Author is going to hell, anyone who reads this is coming with me

A/N: Yes yes, ain’t no fuckbuddies or friends with benefits headcanons here, sue me. There is NO angst or sadness here. None, zero, zilch. Those kinds of relationships almost NEVER end well 98% of the time. This is all about you and him ONLY. Give it up for romance y’all.

Not gonna lie, there might've been more I wanted to add to this hellfire list of headcanons but once you've seen how much stuff there is below I hope you'll forgive me for finally putting this out here.

I hope by reading this, will provide you with comfort and satisfaction.

VERY special thanks to @smutty-books for beta reading and feedback along with helping me with this monster of a list! Please check them out and show them some love! (Seriously thank you Smutty for the additional ideas and content. you made this Hc's list a million times better and twice as much content included.)

(WARNING: Past this point is VERY EXPLICIT CONTENT. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.)

General HC's:

Oh boy. Oh boy oh boy ohhhhhh boy.

You want sum fuk? You got sum fuk and way more.

As long as you’re his s/o, congrats on your sex life being absolutely demolished and rebuilt by this man. You’ll probably never find a better person in the bedroom for the rest of your life. It literally doesn’t matter if he’s your boyfriend or your husband, sex is a staple activity in your relationship that you both enjoy.

Fast and rough? Slow and steady? Maybe a little bit of both? You bet he’ll be saying fuck yeah to all of those.

His sex drive has always been relatively quite high, even after all these years. Being 50 and counting ain’t gonna stop him anytime soon.

Can, and will, want to fuck you on any and every surface of the house.

Living room couch? Perfect spot for bouncing in his lap or to blow him hard.

Dining room table? He’ll have you either bent over and railing you from behind or sitting on top while he devours your dripping wet pussy.

Taking a shower? You’ll be saving water if you do it together… yeah. Definitely not because of at least a half dozen things you can do in there with soothing hot water pouring down your bodies.

In the studio?…

Okay maybe not the studio he’s gotta work without getting distracted and lord save you two if anyone finds a sliver of evidence that you two fucked in there-

Not a PDA guy much, which also extends to any sexual antics outside. He won’t be taking any risks getting the two of you caught lacking

As long as you two are in the house, it’s free game

His views and methods of sex vary depending on which era we’re talking about

If he were in his 1999’s/2000’s era, then yeah, absolute horndog. He’s constantly so busy and on the move, sex would be a quick trip and onto the next. It would’ve scratched the itch, but arguably wouldn’t have sated his appetite for long. If he ever had a chance to have a good, drawn out sex session, it’ll leave him looking like he had a serious hangover but he’ll be waking up so relaxed.

Him being quick to fuck around and quick to leave was his style pre-Relapse. It’s a common thing you see around music artists in general and he was no exception. That doesn’t mean he was closed off to finding an actual solid relationship, it just becomes that much harder to find someone genuine. Most of the time though, he was busy putting out albums and producing music with a 9 to 5 regimen.

Post-Relapse/Recovery Em had insane stamina due to the excessive amount of exercise he put in. Call me insane, but I have a feeling this may be the time where he had the least amount of sex drive-

NOW HOLD ON HEAR ME OUT

He was starting out his sobriety around this time, I’m no expert but I would have to think that he hasn’t fucked or hooked up with anyone since then cause sex may have been a risk or his body was recovering, therefore most likely putting sex as a low priority. That isn’t to say he wasn’t busting a nut oh no, he probably became best friends with his hands again.

The time between Rap God/Monster Era was slowly building back up his drive, transitioning him to the Revival/Present Day era where he’s back on his blue-balling bullshit. Mans been practically putting out mating calls in his music and in interviews I mean COME ON HAVE YOU SEEN IT

He’s wise enough to not be caught slipping with hoes cause he won’t be caught with those hoes. At all. He’s not a hoe fucker no more. You heard him.

Finding an actual healthy relationship with one person? Someone give it to him, now.

(Anyone who remembers that one shot in that Rainy Days behind the scenes video where he points the camera to his crotch and says “EVERYTHING is for sale.” If that isn’t a man in heat I dunno what is; And that’s just one example out of many lemme tell you)

THE POINT IS, HE CAN GO FOR ONE ROUND, OR MANY, MANY MORE.

He’s determined to make you feel good more than him, but he’ll absolutely be having fun with how you’re gonna come. He’ll love exploring your body, finding out every little spot that gives you shivers down your spine.

Oh yeah, did I mention that he's got a big dick? He's got a big dick.

Don't try to deny it when you can't help but glance at his crotch all the time. It might be bias, or it might be fact that you can see the bulge in his pants.

Dom/Sub Roles:

He’s a dom, no question about that. Most of the time he’s a soft dom, not overwhelmingly asserting himself over you but firm enough to have you listen to him. Of course, he’ll be praising you a ton if you’re doing good and listening. But if you’re acting a little bratty, a little petty… yeah, he’ll make you behave, let’s just leave it at that.

Enjoys having you bent over his knee while he fingers your pussy, making sure you’re all nice and ready for him to enjoy.

If you squirm too much, expect a light spanking and a firm reminder to behave.

Again, not over the top with his dominance, cause at the end of the day, he wants to take care of you, to make you feel comfortable and show you how much he loves you. So praising isn’t just a dom thing, it’s genuinely how he expresses his affection to you.

If you insist on it, he can go even harder as a dom, upping his antics and getting off on seeing you beg for relief. Punishments will be even meaner and if you slip up even just a little, looks like you’re gonna have to start all over. No amount of pleading, teary whines from you will get him to change the cold, hard look in his eyes as he’s watching you.

Absolutely insistent on a safe word, no matter the situation.

Marshall’s immediately shifting to a protective, nurturing caretaker the moment your safe word leaves your lips and making sure your needs are met, completely understanding and shushing any apologies that threaten to leave your mouth for ruining the moment. You come first and foremost.

Amazing with aftercare. Will make sure that you’re okay and well taken care of after a session, praising you lovingly as he holds you close. If it was particularly intense, he’ll be checking in on you for the next day or so whilst feeling quite proud of himself that he can reduce you to a begging, dripping mess yesterday night. But he's by far more proud of you for trusting him and letting him experience you in such a vulnerable position.

All it takes is for him to say: "Such a good girl" and you're all his. (Can't blame you honestly-)

He'll be using your petnames even outside of your passionate sessions, even if it's just coming home to greet you after a day of work or passing by each other in the house to do something, a quick: "Hey peaches" or "How's my babygirl?" never fails to want to leave you smiling shyly, even after a bad day.

While being a sub is not what he would usually do at all, it’s not impossible. Once he’s far into a relationship with you and fully comfortable, he might actually give in to your insistence.

He has a need to feel like he’s in control, like he’s leading; Being on the opposite end is a big deal for him, so if he ever subs it’s a huge fucking compliment and privilege that shows how much he trusts and loves you to bare himself to you.

He’ll definitely be grumbly about it tho, and probably trying to act all teasing at your attempt to dominate him. But once you get past that first phase and he lets himself relax and give into your control… he doesn’t want to admit it, but he feels so fucking secure with you.

When he fully gives in, he’s preening and leaning into your touch. He’ll be such a good boy under your lavish praise and having all of your attention on him.

It feels almost foreign, not being the one in charge and making all the decisions for once. But once he gets used to it, he'll be doing whatever he can to receive your approval.

Seeing him at your mercy, letting you take the reins, makes it your priority to see him come undone by your command, holy shit, it's fucking beautiful.

If he's up for being a little more bratty (not unlike he's been on his petty shit for decades as his core personality trait let's be real here) and expecting to be punished and/or your dominance be harsher, the thought of pushing you to your limits with how much you're willing to keep up with him makes him really, really excited on the inside.

It’s both of your secrets, so don’t fuck it up, a'ight?

Teasing/Body Parts:

Speaking of secrets… he’s incredibly private, but at the same time, don’t be surprised if he ends up writing lyrics that may or may not allude or be inspired by your sex lives. You swear this man will be the death of you, smug bastard.

If you’re ever turned on by listening to his music or his voice, it’ll be such a massive ego boost for him, holy shit. No need to feel embarrassed, cause he’s fucking flattered.

Even tho his residence is far from any neighbors (and definitely soundproof), he’s got a playlist for your ears to get aroused to.

Imagine Marshall whispering in your ear or talking in that low voice of his and well damn now you’re horny is an understatement of the goddamn century.

And it’s not just you! Marshall gets off hearing you moan like crazy, another sign that lets him know he’s doing a damn good job. Hearing you whimpering gets him going, but making you scream? Jackpot.

Unsurprisingly to a lot of y’all, but he loves tits. He loves ass for sure, but feeling your breasts is just- Yes.

Love fondling them, licking, biting, sucking, you name it.

Now do the same for him-

OKAY OKAY HEAR ME OUT HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN’S PECS

MAN’S GOT HUGE FUCKING HONKERS. HOLY SHIT.

(No wonder he’s such a titty guy-)

But seriously, play with his chest and he’ll be moaning and writhing under you. Music to your ears.

Rest assured your ass will not be forgotten or neglected. No fucking way he’ll ever leave any part of you un-worshipped. Even when you’re just passing each other around the house he’ll playfully slap or squeeze your ass with a smirk. Cheeky fucker.

May or may not prompt him to just throw you down and pin you against whatever furniture is closest and have his way with you right then and there.

Or it could be the other way around! You can't help but give his sexy behind a mischievous swat or grab, or his pecs. He'll probably pretend to be miffed but you'll be catching him returning the smirk you have on your face. Oh, by all means, have your way with him right then and there as well. Equal rights, equal sexy times.

Grabbing your backside and pulling you closer to him, pressed against his chest and his growing bulge in his pants oh sweet Jesus-

Will for sure spank you while you’re riding him or he’s railing you from behind, the sounds of skin slapping against skin while he sees your ass jiggle with every thrust is just so fucking hot

He wants to reach deep down, as far as his cock can reach, nothing in the house is safe from him pounding your pussy and giving you a creampie.

Speaking of that, He LOVES to come into you or on you. It gives him a feeling of claiming what's his. Anytime he sees his cum dripping outta you or running down your skin, Marshall’s ready to go again.

Or he could use a sex toy, making sure his cum stays inside and your pussy ready for him in a few.

Kinks

We’ve already covered the dom/sub parts, but there is SO much potential for other kinks that you and him can get into so let’s get right into it

Breeding Kink:

I mean how can we not start this off without mentioning that

Can, and will ram you harder and faster than a piston AND make sure you both cum multiple times

If you’re walking the next morning, that means he failed the assignment so now he’s boutta rectify that

Dirty talk is cranked to a hundred as he’s growling in your ear on how much of a slut you are for his seed, how he’ll fill you up and make sure your womb is carrying his baby, how gorgeous you would look with your belly swollen with your little creation, etc.

Even if he’s sure that he doesn’t want anymore kids (given his age or experience, which is understandable), imagine the baby fever he gets when he sees or imagines you with kids

He’s perfectly happy with just you and him, but the possibility of you, him, and maybe a little one you made together from your love? His pupils are dilating like a cat getting ready to pounce

Even if the possibilities are extremely unlikely, the mere thought of it and he’s giving you the 🥺 eyes. (Every time you see him make those eyes at you, it’s probably cause he’s feelin the breeding urge)

If you're not able to, that doesn't change a thing; he wants to make you feel like you're his no matter what, and you are! He loves you for you.

Obsessed with coming inside you after railing you into the mattress, filling you to the brim with his seed

Loves giving you a creampie and then watching it leak out of your pussy, might take the initiative to stuff his spilling cum back into you

Or he could just fuck you at multiple different times during the day like the stud he is

Hell he may as well just not pull out and you’ll both be falling asleep still connected

You'll be waking up with his member engorged and slowly thrusting in you while he nuzzles into you, taking in your scent, kissing your lips so softly until you both cum. After that he takes you to the shower and you both wash each other

Loves marking your skin with his mouth, letting anyone know that your his and his only

Your cunt and everything else is thoroughly satisfied every time the breeding kink comes on don’t you worry about that honey

Size Kink:

Hey don't judge his 5'7 ass. Marshall's got other big things minus his height; Big hands, big ears, HUGE CO-

If you're smaller than him: He praises you for taking him in so well, whispers words of encouragement with every inch he pushes into you until you can feel his tip brushing against your cervix. Doesn't want to overdo it in fear of hurting you, but with your insistence he'll be going all out in due time

If you're taller than him: He LOVES it. No cap you being taller or bigger than him is so fucking sexy. Makes him more eager to make you come and more confidence in exploring different ways to do so

Takes a hand in yours and guides you both to press against your stomach, feeling for his cock thrusting into you

Praises you constantly as he feels your walls stretch around him so perfectly

Once you feel like you can take all of him, all of his restraint is gone as he pounds your sopping wet cunt relentlessly

Body worshipping is a must regardless of size

Feral/Primal Kink:

You know how possessive he can be, and that still translates to the bedroom. Even when he knows you're his, he can't help but feel turned on by his possessiveness for you.

And when you're all his, he can go fucking. Crazy.

It's also the dom feeling in him as well, but he has a need to claim you: Not out of insecurity, but out of his desire to make sure you know how much he loves you.

Likes biting your ear as an affectionate gesture. Sometimes he enjoys lightly tugging as a playful gesture to get you riled up.

Marshall thinks the growling thing is dumb as hell but if you're into that he'll try to give you some throaty growls in your ear, but expect him to start cracking up at his attempts until he's used to it

He thinks he can't do it yet he doesn't realize the low rumble in his throat whenever he gets a jealous streak

Voice/Audio Kink:

Well, well, WELL. Someone's ego is about to be stroked harder than his cock for once

He’ll absolutely be moaning and grunting more often when you guys have sex

Jokingly asks if you want to put some music on before you start fucking though he probably cringes listening to his own music during sex

Definitely ruins the mood for him when he hears someone that collabed with him on one of his songs or if any of his lyrics mention things that he doesn't want to think about when horny

Whenever he asks what you're listening to and hears one of his songs, he can't help but inwardly smile or smirk with pride. "Good choice." He nods, keeping his face unreadable.

If he catches you listening to FACK he just starts dying with laughter and dying on the inside simultaneously

No but seriously, he's super fucking flattered knowing how much his music or just his voice turns you on

Whispers in your ear during sex, either praising, teasing, or telling you what to do

He'll be observing which tone provokes the biggest reaction out of you so he can remember it for future reference

(People working with him in the studio are gonna be wondering why he's so close to the mic while recording recently)

Might record something just for your ears to listen to when you guys are apart ;)

Sex Positions

Missionary:

Ah, the OG.

Ranging from being the most vanilla to literally breaking the bed and making the house shake. Most people’s go-to position and Marshall is no different.

He’s got full access to your face, neck, and breasts while he pounds you into the mattress, absolutely loves it and it’s no surprise.

Is eye contact a kink? He’ll be wanting to look you in the eyes no matter the pace you’re going. Additionally may often include forehead touching and/or nose nuzzling. Incredibly hot and intimate.

If he’s feeling extra curious or dominant, he might even push your legs back and over his shoulders to reach even deeper into you. (In other words, putting you in a mating press.) You ain’t walking for a few days after this. Catch his freaky ass all smug n shit.

Slow and intimate in this position is SO fulfilling. It’s like baring your souls to one another.

Going fast and rough is just straight up a joyride and a half. It feels carnal in the best way possible.

Overall you can’t fuck this up really. It’s missionary for crying out loud.

Doggystyle:

*clears throat* Ahem. BARK BARK WOOF WOOF

If you haven’t seen my fic Heat yet, it’s basically me writing smut for the first time in this position but taken to the next level. Should hint at a lot on what imma bout to say tbh

YES. HELL YES. PLEASE LET HIM RAM INTO YOU FROM BEHIND. HE’LL BE POUNDING INTO YOU SO FUCKING HARD

If you go face down on the bed, ass up? Holy shit

Expect bruises on your hips the next morning… also a very horny man ready to go again or to absolutely worship the fuck outta you for taking it so fucking amazingly

He'll be running a bath for you, being extra doting and attentive, the whole nine yards while also feeing that masculine satisfaction™ at the fact that he's able to get you to that state of bliss.

By far the most feral position. If he’s got a breeding kink I wish you luck on how many times you’re gonna come and he’s gonna come

If you’re also into taking it in the ass I respect you 👀 kinky motherfucker would love to explore some new ways to fuck

Pronebone is also basically the same as mentioned above, but it’s got that intimate feel, you get me? He’s closer to you whilst also able to attack your neck and shoulders, maybe even have a hot make out session with you while he continues to pound your pussy or ass raw.

As long as you love taking it from behind he’ll be on his knees for you. And on top of you.

Cowgirl/Reverse Cowgirl, You On Top:

Ride him. That’s all I gotta say.

He wants you to ride him. Fuck him silly. He’ll lose it.

It’s a perfect demonstration of him still being the dom. You may be on top, but he’s the one in control.

Might tease you by making you work hard for a reaction outta him. He’ll be pretending to be unimpressed or smug while you bounce in his lap but in reality he’s trying so hard not to break

Either that, or he won’t be holding back on how good you make him feel. Mouth open, quietly moaning, grabbing your ass or your hips.

If he can't take it anymore, he pulls you down to him and holds you tight while he starts bucking his hips, pounding up into you like a piston

Even once you both come he starts back up again before you've even calmed down

Oral (Giving and Receiving)/69:

I mean… are we really gonna question it? Yeah you better give this guy some head he is a slut for it

Give him a blowjob and he’ll be the happiest man alive

You watching his expressions as you’re sucking him off

Might take some practice to take all of him into your mouth cause this man is BIG

Even when he’s got loose sweatpants on you can still see his bulge AND IT’S NOT WHEN HE’S HARD AND HORNY. MARSHALL’S PACKING.

I wish you luck in trying to deepthroat this man

When it comes to oral, he definitely prefers receiving rather than giving

But don’t you DARE underestimate this man’s tongue cause holy fucking hell he’s feasting on your pussy

PLEASE let him suck on your clit while he’s eating you out. That man’s mouth is amazing in many ways for a reason

Imagine having to go out after and if anyone asks him if he wants anything to eat he just replies: “Nah I’m good. I had something earlier.” And then GIVING YOU THE SIDE EYE LOOK-

BEARD. BURN.

Let this man bury his face in between your thighs and imagine the friction of his beard brushing against your skin. If that doesn’t make you cum then him lapping you up will guaranteed

69 turns into a competition to see who can get the other to cum first, or a comforting session of tasting each other

Standing:

Y'all know he can do it pinning you against a wall. Thanks 8 Mile

As hot as it is, take care as not to have your head or back bang against it

Great for quickies but probably not for a long time; You gotta give his back a break lmao

Hugging your waist from behind tho :eyes:

Add a mirror on both opposite ends of the wall and you can watch him thrust into you

He's holding you real tight and close, making sure to hold you up so your legs won't buckle

Spooning:

Feelin real cozy

It can be lazy morning sex; Intimate and gentle as he places kisses behind your ear and buries his face into your neck while he does long, deep strokes in and out of your walls

Or it can be rough: Holding your thigh up while his hips violently thrust into you, only stilling when he comes after you

Another way is his cock slipping between your thighs and humping you eagerly, or his cock rutting against your ass

Push your hips back in time with his thrusts for deeper penetration or the sound of your skin slapping against each other

His hands clutching your hips or grabbing your breasts as he moans in your ear, feeling his cock twitching with his release

- - -

ALRIGHT TIME TO STOP HERE I’VE BEEN KEEPING THIS IN MY DRAFTS FOR MONTHS Anyways hope y’all enjoyed this and then some <3 I might come back to this and and more so who knows? If you enjoyed let me know your feedback and if you have any suggestions!

#eminem x reader #marshall mathers x reader #eminem imagines #eminem fanfiction #eminem imagine #eminem headcanons #eminem smut #marshall mathers fanfiction #marshall mathers x you #marshall mathers imagine #marshall mathers headcanons #marshall mathers smut

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hcsiqs · 2 months

Text

| i love you, im sorry

• pairing: paige bueckers x fem!reader

• summary: inspired by gracie abram’s i love you im sorry

• warnings: angst ?? mean!paige kinda…

I like to slam doors closed

Trust me, I know it's always about me

I love you, I'm sorry

“Paige, please,” you begged as tears fell from your eyes and you tried to get the blonde girl to look at you, but she refused. “Don’t just push me away!”

“Go y/n! I don’t need you anymore, ok?” she replied, hurt evident in her voice. She jerked her arm away from you.

She had just torn her ACL and wanted nothing to do with anyone, especially you. It seemed like everything you had been doing for the past few weeks set her off. She hated the way you tried to help her and the fact that it seemed you pitted her, even though you weren’t trying to. You just wanted to help her, that’s all you ever want to do.

“I’m just trying to be there for you,” your voice dropped into a softer voice as mascara stained your cheeks.

“Well I don’t need you to be here for me or whatever the fuck,” she ran her hands down her face.

“I wanna help because I love you P,” you tried reminding her that all of this came from your love for her, but she didn’t wanna hear it.

“I don’t love you anymore,” her voice broke as she her piercing blue eyes made contact with your own and you could see that she meant every word.

You bit your lip trying to hold back your sniffles as your lips curved into a frown without you even trying. Your arms crossed over your body as you let out a hushed, “Ok,” before packing all your things from her room into a bag and leaving without saying another word. That was the last time you talked to Paige junior year.

Two summers from now

We'll have been talking, but not all

that often, we're cool now

Paige had decided to stay an extra year at UConn due to her injury that she suffered from a few years prior. And you just so happened to also be staying at UConn to get your graduates degree.

Obviously going to the same school you two had bumped into each other and exchanged a few words, but nothing much, both always seeming to be in a rush to avoid the awkwardness.

You had decided on taking a few summer classes and as you were walking with your head down you found yourself run into a taller figure. When you stepped back you immediately recognized who it was.

“Paige,” you said with a tight lipped smile.

“Y/N,” she replied with the same smile before shooing her teammates off. “How’ve you been?” she asked awkwardly pushing some of her hair behind her ear.

“Good,” you nodded, “Staying busy, you?”

“Yeah, yeah, good,” she replied nodding her head while shoving her hands into her pockets. “You—uh—you look good,” her eyes scanned you up and down, something you had gotten used to when you were together.

“Thanks. You too,” you were trying to keep the interaction short and sweet, not wanting to get into anything. “I gotta go, but see you around?”

“For sure,” she nodded before you walked off and tried erasing the entire interaction from your brain.

It wasn’t like you had talked at all in the past two years. You had your civil interactions here and there but never had them for too long. And you wanted to keep it that way. You wanted it to just stay cool between the two of you. Not wanting to bring up y’all’s past.

You were the best but you were the worst

As sick as it sounds, I loved you first

You had just finished your fall semester finals, so you and your friends decided to celebrate and get rid of all the stress by going to Ted’s and getting drunk.

It just so happened to be the same night that the UConn women’s basketball team had won a hard game against one of the best schools, and they had all decided to out to celebrate.

And that’s how you found yourself staring down a certain blonde at the bar who was obviously flirting with another girl. You kept telling yourself that it shouldn’t bother you because you had broken up almost two years ago now, but you could shake the “I loved her first” from your brain as you watched the two.

So, you took another shot to try and distract yourself. The burning sensation trickled down your throat before walking past Paige, ‘accidentally’ hitting her arm.

And once you found yourself in the comfortable muffled silence of the bathroom the door swung open to reveal the tall blonde basketball player. “What’s your problem? You’ve been staring at me all fuckin night long.”

“Have not,” you slurred, rolling your eyes and turning away from her to look in the mirror. Your lipstick was smudged from all the drinks you had taken and your mascara was messy under your eyes from continually rubbing them.

Paige moved closer to you, but not too close, almost scared that if she did you would run away and she would lose her chance. “Yeah. You have.”

“No,” you shook your head, meeting her gaze through the mirror.

“Dude, just fucking talk to me!”

“No! You don’t get to act like what happened is my fucking fault,” you raised your voice turning to the side to actually look at her up close. “You pushed me away, not the other way around.”

“I know and I regret it everyday. But every time I try to talk to you, you rush off!” Paige started moving her hands to represent her frustration with the situation.

“Why would I wanna talk to someone who is just going around flirting with random girls,” you snapped back before even realizing what you were saying. But as soon as the words left your mouth you immediately slammed your lips shut, afraid of what might come from them if you didn’t.

“So that’s what this is about?”

“No! Yes? I don’t know, okay?” your hands found their way into your hair, brushing it back with your fingers.

A moment of silence fell between the both of you. Neither really knowing what to say in the moment.

“Forget what I said,” you shook your head, wanting to disappear from the entire moment.

“I miss you,” she confessed as you tried pushing past her to get out of the small room.

You felt as if your heart was gonna beat out of your chest at those words. The words you had been wanting to hear since your fight two years ago. The words you had fought to hear that same night but never did.

“I miss you too, P,” your drunken self admitted. Your glossy eyes meeting hers. It seemed like your heart had stopped in that moment and nothing existed but the two of you.

I love you, I'm sorry

allie’s corner

this is lowkey poop im sorry

#paige bueckers #wnba #uconn wbb #wnba basketball #wcbb #wcbb x reader #uconn wcbb #paige bueckers fanfiction #paige buckets #paige bueckers x reader #paige x reader #paige bueckers angst #angst #fanfic #fan fiction

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solarsturniolo · 7 months

Text

𝖂𝖊'𝖗𝖊 𝕵𝖚𝖘𝖙 𝕱𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖘 // 𝕸.𝕾. // 𝕱𝖔𝖚𝖗

𝔖𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: Matt is so 'sweet best friend that secretly jerks off to your pictures' coded (idea credit to @heartstreet )

𝔚𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: angst / smut / p in v / soft!dom matt? / unprotected sex / swearing / kinda depressing at the beginning

𝔇𝔦𝔰𝔠𝔩𝔞𝔦𝔪𝔢𝔯: THESE STORIES ARE FICTIONAL :)

𝔚𝔬𝔯𝔡 ℭ𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 6871

Three weeks.

He went three weeks without speaking to her. Ever since that night, he couldn’t bring himself to talk to her. It replayed in his head like a broken record, he couldn’t get it to stop. The way she danced with him, the way she clung to him, the way she kissed him, all of which would have normally been more than enough to get him off at least a few times. But Matt hadn’t touched himself in those three weeks. He couldn’t. How could he even think about it when he just felt miserable?

“Matt, are you coming?”

He groggily lifted his head from his pillow, his hair sticking out in awkward directions. He struggled to open his eyes as the light flooded in through his windows. Looking over his shoulder, he squinted at his brother standing in the doorway. “Huh?”

Chris furrowed his eyebrows. “The meeting? With Laura? Are you coming?”

It took a moment for the question to register in his brain, but when it did he simply grunted and dropped his head back into the pillow.

“Dude this isn’t good for you-“

“ ‘M just tired,” he grumbled, his voice muffled by the pillowcase as he buried his face deeper into the pillow.

“You haven’t left your room in three days.”

Matt opened his eyes, looking over his shoulder at Chris again. “I-“

“Kitchen and bathroom don’t count. Bro, I’m seriously worried about you.”

Matt blinked in response.

“I miss you,” Chris shrugged, not making eye contact with Matt. “I miss hanging out. You never hang out anymore. You’ll do a video then come hide back in here.”

Matt sighed, slipping his arm out from under his tight bundle of blankets around him, rubbing his tired face. “I’m sorry, just been dealing with a lot.”

“Like what?”

“…Nothing.”

“Please talk to me, man.”

“You just…” Matt paused, wanting to find the nicest way possible to explain this to Chris. “You don’t take things seriously.”

Chris shook his head immediately at Matt’s accusation. “I can tell when I need to take something seriously.“

Matt sighed. “Can we talk about it tonight? I just wanna sleep a little longer…”

Chris didn’t respond for a while. He wanted to talk about it now, he wanted to fix everything that his brother was going through. It pained him seeing Matt in a funk like this. The last time something like this happened was in junior year, and Chris never wanted a repeat of that for either of them. He didn’t want to leave Matt alone. If he could cancel the meeting entirely, he would. He would cancel it and lay in bed with his brother and wait however long he needed to talk.

“I can’t cancel the meeting. Are…Are you gonna be alright?” Chris’s fingers picked at the chipped paint on the doorway.

“I’ll be fine.”

“You’ll call me if you need something?”

“Yeah, man. I’ll be alright.”

Chris nodded. The sound of Nick’s footsteps vibrated above them as he came down the stairs, walking around the corner and peeking into Matt’s room as well. “No luck?”

“He’s tired.”

“He’s been ‘tired’ for the past fifteen days-“

Chris shot Nick a look. “He’s tired.”

Nick nodded, getting the hint. “Gotcha. We’ll bring home some lunch, do you want anything?”

Matt grunted softly. “I don’t care.”

“Alright,” Nick replied. It made his blood boil when Matt was short with him or moody, but he knew Matt didn’t mean to act this way. He was constantly stuck in his own head, constantly battling his thoughts, and it just so happened to be one of those periods. A temporary setback. Matt always bounced back, but it never failed to worry Chris and Nick nonetheless. “We’ll be home in a few hours. Love you.”

“Love you, Matt.”

“Love you,” Matt replied, letting his body relax again. He was beyond grateful that they weren’t trying to drag him out of bed this time around. He rolled over onto his favorite side and nuzzled back under the covers, letting his body drift back off to sleep.

I really love you

I’ve always loved you.

The heat rose to his cheeks as her words played over and over again in his head. ‘I really love you, I’ve always loved you.’ Oh god, and she looked so pretty in his t-shirt. He could almost smell her perfume, the same scent she had worn for years. The same scent Matt grew to love. The scent he craved to get even the smallest whiff of whenever she was near. The scent that would get trapped in the fabric of his hoodies after she had borrowed them, which he refused to launder until the scent was gone entirely. Wisps of vanilla and rose petals that would infect him, his mind, his thoughts…

Knock knock knock.

Matt groaned, closing his eyes tighter, hoping the sound would stop. Warmth enveloped his face as her soft hands cupped his face. Matt felt his heart pound against his chest. Her words were like heroin, he wanted more. He wanted to hear her talk to him for hours. Before he could even think of what to say, her lips pressed against his. He cupped her face, his lips moving slowly against hers as they shared a passionate kiss. She smelled sweet like candy, and her lips tasted like sugared lemon drops; her favorite lip balm, which quickly became Matt’s favorite as well.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.

Ten more minutes. Please let me stay here for ten more minutes.

Her hand caressed his cheek, their noses brushing together as she moved impossibly closer to him. Neither of them initiated for the kiss to deepen, though Matt wasn’t complaining in the slightest. This was enough for him. The tenderness, the passion, the love…it was more than enough for him. He pulled back for a moment, still close enough to feel her lips brush against his as she caught her breath. “I love you.”

BAM BAM BAM

Matt huffed, opening his eyes once again. He groaned softly as he became suddenly aware of the tent in his boxers. Not even safe in my dreams. Rolling himself out of bed, Matt sat at the edge of his mattress, looking at his reflection in the mirror leaning against his wall. He had to admit, he was looking rough. His hair was a god awful mess, sticking out in awkward directions, his cowlick refusing to flatten when he ran his fingers through his hair. His cheeks were sunken, though it was hard to tell with his unkempt facial hair growing in. The bags under his eyes were dark, his lips were dry and cracked; he looked rough.

BAM

Those fucking assholes. Matt pulled on his pyjama pants, after adjusting his cock in his boxers, and stepped out of his room, hissing at the cold hardwood floor under his feet. He began to make his way to the front door, heading down the steps that led to their front entryway. “Fuck, you idiots have keys why can’t you ever fucking use them,” he grunted, unlocking the front door. “Why do I have to be the responsib-“ his voice caught in his throat as he swung the door open, his gaze landing on her. She looked up at him, her eyebrows furrowing together as their eyes locked.

“Oh…hi Matty.”

Matt swallowed his words, looking down at his feet, suddenly growing quiet. Matty. Even after all of this time, even after the long restless nights staring at his old messages with her, wanting nothing more than to call her and hear her gentle voice again, she addressed him by his nickname. The one he claimed to hate, though they both knew that wasn’t the case. Three weeks with no contact, and she treated him just the same as she had before. The question plagued his mind after the second day of ghosting her, wondering if she would be mad at him, wondering if she would treat him differently. How foolish of him.

“Hey, kid,” he mumbled, his voice gravely and low.

“Are…um…Nick and Chris here?” She asked.

“You just missed them…They went to a meeting with Laura.”

“And you didn’t?”

Matt shrugged his shoulders, leaning against the doorway. “I wasn’t feeling good,” he stated. Not necessarily a lie, he just knew he couldn’t explain the whole truth to her.

“Why have you been ignoring me?” She asked him. Matt felt his heart drop into his stomach. She sniffled softly. His head snapped up and, suddenly, Matt’s behavior felt ridiculous to him. He had shut her out, he had pushed her away without even a second thought as to what she might feel or think. He examined her face; the same dark shadows under her eyes, the hollowing of her cheeks that now matched his. “Can I come in?” She tried to ask, but he heard the break in her voice. He saw her lip quiver as she spoke. He took note of her tugging at her sleeves in an attempt to distract herself from her emotional state.

He wanted to scream, not at her but at himself. How could he have put her through this? It was selfish of him, to say the very least.

“Y-Yeah, of course,” he stepped aside, allowing her to walk past him into the house. “Um, I think Nick and Chris will be back fairly soon,” Matt explained to her as he shut the front door, locking it behind him out of habit. He turned to face her. “I’m sure they don’t mind you hanging out in one of their rooms or something,” he mumbled, his gaze never meeting hers.

“Please look at me.”

Matt obliged, looking up to meet her eyes, almost as if he was waiting for the command to do it. He felt his mouth go dry, and suddenly all of the words he knew became a jumbled mess of unintelligible alphabet soup in his head. “You haven’t talked to me in weeks…Did…Did I do something to upset you?” She asked him, worry and sincerity clear in her tone. She spoke slowly, thoughtfully; she didn’t want to come off like she was accusing him of anything.

“No,” Matt started, licking his dry lips as he looked at her. Even now, exhausted and clearly hurt by the situation at hand, she still looked beautiful. He could look at her all day and never grow tired of it. “You didn’t do anything to upset me.” He could feel his hands growing clammy, his hands balling into fists and slipping into his pockets.

“I must’ve done something… I mean, it's been three weeks, Matt,” she whispered.

Matt pursed his lips, his heart ramming against his chest. Without warning, Matt felt his eyes glossing over, his lip trembling. “I did something awful, and I…I fucking hate myself so much,” he rasped. He watched as her beautiful, encapsulating eyes widened. She stepped toward him, concern written across her face, her hand reaching out to touch his bicep.

You’re disgusting, Matt. How could you put her through this? All for your own selfish benefit. What will she do when you tell her? She has every right to hate you. She’d be stupid not to. You’re a greedy, disgusting creep.

“Matty? Talk to me.” Her voice wavered as she spoke. “Please?” Her hand grasped his bicep ever so gently, and Matt looked down at her. It was like she had turned a light on inside of him. The jumbled mess tangled in his brain became undone in seconds. He felt the world come to a standstill. He could breathe again.

He hadn’t realized he had been holding his breath.

With a sharp exhale, Matt pursed his lips; something that had become a habit of his. “You’re gonna hate me.”

She let out a soft laugh. “I could never hate you.”

Matt stayed quiet, looking down at the floor. It didn’t take long for her soft fingers to rest beneath his chin, gently lifting his head to meet her gaze once again. Matt could have melted as he basked in the beautiful light of her smile. He felt her hand slip upwards to cup his cheek, her soft fingers brushing against the gruff texture of his messy facial hair. “I’m sorry.”

“What? Sorry for what?” She asked, her words laced with confusion, her eyebrows furrowing as she looked at him. “Matt, please talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”

Matt sighed. He pulled away from her touch and made his way up the stairs, her following close behind him. He went and took a seat on the couch in the living room, his elbows digging into his knees as he held his head in his hands. He wanted to tell her, she deserved to know. It wasn’t right for him to keep this from her…but God he was terrified to know what she’d think of him. The seat next to him sunk down as she took a seat beside him, gently rubbing his arm to soothe him. “Matt?”

“I…really like you,” he whispered. “Like, really like you.”

“Matt…I like you too-”

“No,” he shook his head. “I have liked you for fucking years and I’ve always pussied out of telling you. I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t want to risk losing our friendship if you didn’t feel the same way. I tried to ignore it for years, but…” he trailed off, taking a second to breathe. He needed to relax, to give himself time to put together exactly what he wanted to say and exactly how he wanted to say it. “I mean, I’ve liked you since middle school. I always thought you were funny and pretty and kind…Nick and Chris tried to set me up so many times so I could ask you out, but I just…I couldn’t do it.” He rubbed his face, his heart ramming against his chest from finally having the courage to tell her everything. After all of these years, his secret was out. “I never wanted to cut you off or ignore you, but after what you said that night-”

“What do you mean?” She asked, looking at him in confusion. “What did I say?”

His heart stung a little. You don’t even remember…You don’t even remember telling me you loved me. Do you remember kissing me? Did it mean anything to you? Was it all just a drunken mistake to you? What am I thinking? Of course it meant nothing. I’m nothing, no one. “You said you loved me,” he replied simply, still refusing to make eye contact with her.

“I…I said that?”

Matt nodded. “You kissed me, too.”

“I…I don’t even remember that…” she admitted.

“That doesn’t surprise me, you were pretty drunk. I figured it was all just some drunken mistake,” he sighed.

She shook her head, moving closer to his side. “Just because I was drunk doesn’t mean it was a mistake.”

“You don’t even remember it,” he reminded her.

His heart stopped as her fingers gently traced his jaw, his head turning to meet her gaze. She was close, too close. He could smell her perfume, it made him feel dizzy just thinking about burying his face into her neck to drown himself in it. She looked deep into his eyes, Matt could have melted at the warmth in her gaze. “Help me remember,” she whispered, searching for any glimpse of hesitation or uncertainty in his eyes. He felt her lean in closer to him and he mirrored her, leaning in as well.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

She didn’t respond, not verbally anyways. Her hand caressed his cheek, fingers brushing against his messy stubble. She closed the gap between them, her soft lips gently pressing against Matt’s. He felt his face heat up, warmth flooding his cheeks, she could surely feel it on her fingertips. He kissed her back slowly. Is this real? Please let this be real. If this is a dream, please let me stay here forever.

Engulfed in a wave of passion, she pressed her free hand against his chest, her manicured nails gently grasping at the fabric of his shirt. Her head was swirling, her stomach churning as he cupped her face in his hands, their intimacy growing with each moment that passed by. He could hardly think straight, all he could focus on was her. The intoxicating scent of her perfume that had him feeling faint, the sweet taste of her lemon flavored lip balm, her soft skin caressing his; every thought he had was about her. It was always about her.

He didn’t break the kiss for a second, he pulled her into him, his arms hooking around her and lifting her up as he rose to his feet. He smiled as she giggled into the kiss, humming softly against her lips. Matt felt her legs hook around his waist and he prayed that she couldn’t feel his erection pressing against her. He carried her swiftly to his bedroom, blindly shutting the door behind him with his foot. Tossing her onto his bed, a soft squeal escaped her and she looked up at him with her eyes that were sparkling with excitement. Matt crawled onto the bed, moving slowly, almost prowling like a predator, his arms resting on either side of her head to hold himself up above her. “I’m never letting you go again,” Matt mumbled softly, pressing a kiss to her soft sweet lips.

She brought her hands up to his messy hair, tangling her fingers in the soft waves. “Don’t,” she murmured back, taking his bottom lip between her teeth. Matt groaned, the blood rushing to more than just his cheeks. He let his head fall into the crook of her neck at the feeling of her thigh lifting, his cock aching under the fabric of his thin pyjama pants. “F-Fuck, don’t do that.” He bit softly at her shoulder, sloppy open mouthed kisses trailing down to her collarbone. “I…I won’t be able to control it.”

“I don’t want you to,” she breathed out.

Matt felt her thigh lift again, and he gave in. He rolled his hips, a low growl emitting from the back of his throat. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this,” he grunted against her skin, nipping softly at her neck once more. He felt her fingers tug at his hair and Matt looked up to meet her lustful gaze. “I do,” she argued. Her eyes flickered to his lips, and she licked hers in anticipation. Matt’s dick throbbed, he could feel the precum dampening the fabric of his boxers. You do. You know how long I’ve wanted this because you’ve wanted it to. You’ve wanted me.

Matt’s breath caught in his throat, his brain hardly having the time to keep up with everything that was happening. He gasped as she pushed him off of her, his back landing softly against the mattress. He watched in awe as she hooked her leg over his thighs, straddling his waist, the bulge in his pants being far from unnoticeable at this point. His eyes traced every inch of her body, his mind only being able to process how beautiful she looked. Her hair fell in dark waves over her shoulders, her skin glowed in the soft orange haze emitting from the LED strips taped to his ceiling. Reaching one hand up, Matt gently dragged his knuckle along her cheek. “You’re so pretty,” he whispered, his fingers delicately tucking her hair behind her ear. His lips connected with hers again, pulling her body closer to his.

Not bearing the thought of breaking the kiss, Matt blindly fumbled with the drawstrings of his pyjama pants. Sensing the desperation from him, she moved her hands down to his lap to assist his failing attempts. The soft graze of her fingers over his crotch made his cock jolt, his hips bucking forward as a whorish moan fell from his lips into her mouth. Her teeth gently nipped at his bottom lip as she kissed him, her confidence never faltering. Her soft hands slipped under the waistband of his pants. Matt was almost sure he was going to cum on the spot. Her fingers dragged slowly along the dick print in his boxers, and Matt found it very difficult to focus. She was so gentle. Matt could feel the warmth from her palm as her hand cupped him. His lips had trouble keeping up with hers. His mind flooded with adrenaline and dopamine. “I need you,” he exhaled, his nose brushing against hers, lips ghosting over her own. “Please, I’ve needed you for so long.”

She laughed softly. “How do you want me, Matty?”

“Just like this,” he whispered, pressing his lips softly to the corner of her mouth, kissing down to her jaw. He pulled her closer to him, groaning softly as her hips moved against his ever so slightly. “Please, I wanna see you. I wanna watch you,” he mumbled, his lips now pressed to the underside of her jaw, sucking softly at her skin. He dreamed of this for years; kissing her, marking her, letting everyone know that she was his.

She gasped softly, her head falling to the side to allow Matt access to her neck. The softest of whines fell from her lips, doing nothing to ease Matt’s excitement. “Pretty, pretty girl,” he hummed, his voice coated thick with desire. His teeth nipped at her soft skin. His hands ran up her sides and swiftly over her chest. His fingers trembled as he hesitantly let his hands rest on the plush of her breasts. His breath felt hot against her skin, his rhythm faltered slightly. He stopped for a moment to admire her, looking up to meet her gaze. Matt swallowed his nerves, panting softly from the pure sensual intimacy. It was the furthest he had ever gone and it was driving him crazy. Twenty years old and it was the first time he had held a woman this close to him, the first time he had ever felt the weight of a woman’s breasts in his hands, the first time he had ever left a mark on someone.

She could tell that he was nervous; she found it cute. His inexperience, his shy demeanor, his soft touches. It was driving her crazy. Her hands came down to rest on top of his, and almost immediately he went to pull away. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, but was shocked when she grasped his wrists, bringing his hands back to her chest. His dick ached in his boxers, a feeling he was all too familiar with when it came to her. She closed the gap between them, leaning in and kissing him once more. His hands were steady now, his confidence boosted. A wave of courage surged through him, his hands squeezing her soft breasts as he kissed her. She hummed against his lips, a sound that he was still learning to get used to.

His fingers tugged at the fabric of her shirt. “Please,” his voice muffled against her lips, afraid that if he pulled away it would all disappear. She didn’t need him to say anything more though, and she pulled away from the kiss for a moment, just long enough to pull her shirt off over her head and toss it blindly onto the floor of Matt’s bedroom. Matt’s hands cupped her breasts once again, grunting softly against her plump lips as his fingers came in contact with her bra. “You couldn’t make this easy for me, huh?” he breathed out, looking up through his enviously long eyelashes at her as his hands snaked behind her. She giggled softly, her own hands holding his shoulders to keep herself steady. “To be fair, I didn’t think we’d end up here. I thought you hated me,” she hummed.

“I could never hate you,” he repeated her words from earlier, his large hands encompassing her breasts. She whimpered, pursing her lips. “I’ve loved you for too long to ever hate you.”

He pressed kisses to her chest, breathing in the intoxicating scent of her perfume. His fingers fumbled with the clasp of her bra. Any confidence he had built washed away as the clasp stayed clipped behind her. His eyebrows furrowed as he tried again to unclasp it but to no avail. He huffed in annoyance. “This is fucking stupid.”

“Need some help?” She laughed softly, reaching behind her and swiftly unclasping her bra. Matt ran his hands gently up to her shoulders, slipping the straps of her bra down her arms. He watched in awe as the fabric fell from her chest, revealing her perfect ample breasts. All he could do was stare for a solid minute, admiring her in every way possible. They were absolutely perfect. They were heavy but still somehow perky, her pink nipples hardened under his gaze. He licked his lips. She blushed as he stared at her, not used to the intimate tension between them. “Stop,” she whispered, bringing her hands up to hide her face, her arms covering her chest. Matt’s strong hands grasped her wrists delicately, pulling her hands away from her face.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “You’re just-”

“I know,” she sighed.

Matt raised an eyebrow, seeing the way her expression changed. “I don’t think you do...” He let his gaze flicker down to her chest once again, a soft moan echoing at the back of his throat, his cock throbbing in his boxers. “Can I touch you?”

She took her bottom lip between her teeth, answering him with a single nod of her head. Her arms fall to her sides, allowing him access to her chest once again. He grazed her chest with his rough fingers, his thumb brushing over her hardened nipple. The sound she made was like a drug, he wanted it injected into his veins. He softly pinched her nipples, his palms cupping the weight of her chest. She watched him as soft moans fell from her lips, all she could think about was how badly she craved him. How badly she wanted him. Matt lifted her breasts ever so slightly before letting go of them, watching them fall back to their resting position. He reached behind him, tugging the hem of his shirt up over his head. He blindly tossed his shirt to the side, not caring where it landed. Once it was off of him, Matt pulled her body even closer to his, their chests pressing together. Matt cupped her cheek, kissing her hungrily. Their lips moved together passionately, synchronizing perfectly.

She moaned softly, reaching between them and slipping her hand under the waistband of his pants. “So big, Matty,” she whispered softly against his lips, a shiver running down his spine as the warmth of her hand cupped him through his underwear once again. Jaw going slack, Matt let out yet another sound of bliss. He felt himself aching for her, aching to be inside of her. He needed it. He’d die without it. “I need you, Matt,” she admitted, stroking him at an agonizingly slow pace. His voice caught in his throat as he kissed her, his hands slipping from her waist to tug his pyjama bottoms down. He groaned, slipping his thumbs under the band of his pants and boxers, sliding them down to his thighs. His cock stood proudly, his tip red and swollen as his arousal leaked from his slit.

She parted from the kiss for a moment, looking down at his lap. Her mouth watered at the sight of his erection. She couldn’t take her eyes off of it. He was big, at least seven or eight inches. He kept the hair trimmed and neat. He had the most perfect dick she had ever laid her eyes on. He took his cock in his large hand, stroking himself slowly as she watched him. Matt groaned again. “You did this,” he mumbled lowly. “You make me feel like this. Look at what you do to me.” He panted, coating his shaft with the precum leaking into his hand. “F-Fuck, I’m so tired of my hand, baby. Been wanting you for months.”

He watched as she shimmied out of her own shorts, kicking them off of her and onto the floor with the rest of their discarded clothes. She sat herself on his thighs, her fingers tracing over her heat through her panties. Matt practically drooled at the sight of her arousal pooling in her underwear. Her fingers circled over her clit slowly, her lip catching between her teeth. Matt fisted at his cock, his gaze never daring to tear away from her. He let out a shaky breath, his hair falling in front of his face, his swollen pink lips parting as whorish whines forced their way out of his throat. “You did this,” she copied. Sliding her nimble fingers over the patch of wetness her arousal had made. He groaned, licking his lips. He watched her breasts rise and fall with each breath she took, her plush thighs pressing against either side of his as she sat on his lap. Matt used his free hand to touch her waist, thumbing at her soft skin. Her eyelids were heavy, her eyes glossed over with desire and longing.

Matt hesitated. He wanted to move forward, he wanted to continue. His nerves got the best of him though, and he froze. This was real. This was happening. And he had no idea how to move forward with it. Maybe I should have had sex before this, maybe then I wouldn’t be so awkward and nervous. What do I do now? Do I touch her? Do I kiss her again?

As if she could sense it, she leaned in and kissed him softly. “Don’t think too much, you’re doing great,” she whispered. His heart swelled at her praiseful words. “I’m sorry-” he started, but she stopped him with another swift kiss on the lips. She pulled her underwear down and kicked them off, leaving herself bare in front of him. Matt kissed her back, bringing both of his hands down to her waist. She hummed against his lips, hooking her arms around his shoulders.

Matt laid back against the pillows once more, pulling her hips toward him. “Let me taste you,” he hummed. “Please.”

She obliged, letting him maneuver her to exactly where he wanted her. Matt’s fingers dug into the plush skin of her thighs, pulling her hips down toward his face. She gasped, feeling the warmth of his tongue delicately lick a stripe up her heat. Her fingers knotted in his hair, her stomach lurching as she took a sharp inhale. A cocky smile tugged at his lips. Matt pressed a supple kiss to her clit, one of his hands sliding up her thigh. He flattened his tongue against her drooling pussy, moaning as her arousal coated his tongue. The taste was unlike anything he had ever experienced. She was sweet, like freshly picked cherries. Juicy and ripe with flavor. Matt licked another stripe through her folds, circling her clit gently with his tongue. His nose brushed softly against her pelvis. Every breath he took filled his lungs with the sweet scent of vanilla, his head was spinning as it infected his brain, encapsulating every thought of his. He flicked his tongue, earning a sweet mewl of pleasure from her. He did it again, receiving the same rewarding sound in return.

Matt kissed her clit again, sucking ever so delicately. He felt her squirm above him and he slipped his hands up to her waist, holding her still. He flicked his tongue over her clit again and again, loving the beautiful sounds she made, the sounds that he made her make. He couldn’t hold back any longer, he needed to have her. He pulled her hips down to feel the weight of her on top of him. He shook his head slightly, burying his face between her thighs, his nose brushing against her bundle of nerves as he swirled his tongue experimentally between her folds. She gasped, rocking her hips against his face. Matt groaned, finding the sight above him almost pornographic. He had only dreamed of this moment more times than he could count. He had spent years studying, learning all of the things that women loved and hated. He wasn’t going to ruin his shot with her.

“M-Matt,” she whined, running her fingers through his messy hair, pushing it out of his face. Matt hummed a soft ‘thank you’ against her, smirking when he got another moan from her in response. “Matty, feels so good,” she sighed, rolling her hips against his face again. He flattened his tongue against her heat. She let her head fall back, continuing to rock her hips to get herself off on his tongue. Matt may have been inexperienced, but he could have fooled her.

“Please, I want you Matt,” she breathed out. “I need to feel you inside of me.”

Matt pressed a soft kiss to her clit one last time before releasing his iron grip on her waist, letting her lift her hips. She moved back to straddle his waist, Matt reaching between their bodies. He took ahold of his shaft, gently rubbing his tip through her soaked folds. She whined, lowering her hips. Matt groaned as his tip pressed against her entrance, breathing out sharply as it slipped through her folds again. “F-Fuck,” he grunted, his face flushed with heat. He tried again, lining himself up with her entrance. He choked out a flustered moan as it slipped again, his tip sliding over her clit. Matt felt like he could cry, embarrassed by his inexperience.

“Nice and easy, baby,” she cooed, replacing his hand with her own and lining himself with her entrance once again. She slowly let her hips drop, and Matt gasped as he felt her sink down onto his shaft. His jaw went slack, shaky breaths falling from his lips. Her tight cunt swallowed his cock, a feeling that Matt had been dreaming of for years. He groaned as she took all of him, his hands grasping her waist tightly, fingers digging into her hip bones. “Holy f-fuck.”

“S-So big, Matty,” she exhaled. Matt looked down at where their bodies connected, swallowing the lump in his throat. He moved one of his hands to her lower abdomen, his fingers tracing over the very faint outline of his cock through her skin. “I-Is this supposed to…” he trailed off, pressing his hand softly against her abdomen, earning a high pitched whine from her. She lifted her hips, Matt watching in awe as she sunk back down onto him.

She kept her pace slow and controlled, her pussy clenching around his cock with each rise and fall of her hips. He panted, desire coursing through him. He had never felt pleasure this satisfying before. Jerking off couldnt even begin to compare to this. He had dreamed of this, of what her pussy would feel like around him. It was even better than he could have imagined. The warmth, the tightness, her sounds. Matt whined, closing his eyes tightly. His head fell back against the pillows. He bucked his hips up, choking out a cry as the pleasure flooded through his body. His muscles tightened, his body trembled, his head felt cloudy.

Matt took a second to catch his breath, and then he froze. He opened his eyes, looking up at her with guilt ridden eyes. There’s no fucking way…

“Did you just-”

Matt’s ears glowed red with embarrassment. He watched as she lifted her hips, his cock still erect and standing proudly as she raised herself off of him. Matt felt his stomach tighten as his cum oozed from her entrance, sliding down her thighs. He swallowed, his throat feeling unbelievably dry. There’s no fucking way I just came. It’s been, what? Five minutes?

She looked at him with something in her eyes that he couldn’t describe. Was it disappointment? It had to be.

Matt sat upright, pulling her closer to him. He brushed her hair out of her face, his fingers touching her cheek. “No, no I’m not ready for this to be over,” he mumbled before kissing her hungrily. She let out a surprised moan, her hands coming up to cup his face. He reached between their bodies, lining himself up with her entrance yet again.

He slipped into her with ease, groaning as he bottomed out almost immediately. He brought his large hands down to her ass, guiding her hips. She caught on, rocking her hips at the pace he had set. She moaned against his soft lips, feeling him fill her up with each slow sensual thrust. Matt lifted her up slightly, rolling both of them over so that she was laying beneath him, never pulling away from her for even a second. He held himself up by his forearms, burying himself deep inside of her. A mix between a groan and a growl escaped his throat, his hips bucking forward again to re-live the feeling. “Such a tight pussy, fuck, I knew you’d be tight for me.” He ducked his head down into her neck, sloppy kisses covering her skin . “F-Fuck, baby. Can’t blame me f-for cumming fast when you feel th-this good.”

She whined, acknowledging his words though she couldn’t figure out what to say in response. Her head was clouded with thoughts of him. Her body trembled under his touch. She clenched around him with each thrust he made. She bit her lip, trying her best to hold back her sounds, but Matt wasn’t having it. He brought a hand to her cheek, his thumb running over her bottom lip, gently pulling it from where it was trapped between her teeth. “Let me hear you, princess.”

She looked up at him through her eyelashes, a sight that drove him crazy. He began thrusting a little faster, satisfaction feeding his ego when he heard her moans fall from her lips. “Atta girl, fuck you sound so pretty…look so pretty too,” he mumbled. He sharply bucked his hips forward, a pornographic moan escaping her. Matt grunted, repeating the action in a desperate attempt to hear it again. His hand slid down to her chest, his fingers tweaking her nipple just the way she liked it. He watched in amusement as she squirmed beneath him, whining and panting, a complete mess.

His hips snapped forward, his reward being another whorish moan. He was obsessed with the way her ample tits bounced and recoiled with each thrust he made. The headboard began to rock into the wall, knocking against it. “I fucking love you,” he breathed out, burying his face into the crook of her neck. He bit and sucked at her skin, marking her with his lips. “You’re mine,” he growled, nipping at her neck. “Say it. Say you’re my girl.”

She nodded, opening her mouth to speak but only the soft sounds of her enjoyment answered him. He grunted, his arm wrapping around her back, pressing her body against his. “Say it.”

“Y-Yours,” she managed to squeak out. “I love you, I-I’m yours,” she replied.

“Good girl,” he mumbled, thrusting into her again and again, his second orgasm building up inside of him. He felt her clench around his cock, his hips jolting forward. “Want you to cum for me,” he growled, sucking another mark into her skin as he rocked his hips into hers, burying his dick inside of her.

She whined, reaching down between their bodies to rub her clit, her heart pounding, her blood pumping, her breathing growing rapid and uneven. Matt could tell that she was close, he had watched enough porn to know the signs. He felt a sense of pride, he had worried that he wouldn’t perform well his first time but it was proving to be the opposite. “Say my name,” Matt demanded.

“M-Matt-”

“Again.”

“M-Mmph…” she whimpered, body tensing up as her orgasm began to wash over her. Matt grunted in her ear, roughly thrusting into her. “Say my name.”

“F-Fuck, Matt!” she cried out, a string of filthy moans following as she reached her high. Her thighs began to tremble, her body flooded with warmth. Matt groaned as she clenched around him again, and it was the last thing he needed to reach his own orgasm. Matt thrusted his hips a couple more times, riding out his high as he filled her with his load, his cum leaking out of her tight pussy and down his shaft. He breathed heavily as he came down from the euphoric feeling, lifting himself up to look down at her.

She looked up at him with tired eyes, hazy and glossed over with desire. He stroked her cheek, his thumb gently running over her lips. She watched his gaze, no guy had ever looked at her like this before, especially after sex. His eyes held so much love and adoration. “I hope you know I’m never gonna be able to get over you.”

She laughed softly, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. “Who said you’d need to?”

𝔄𝔲𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔯'𝔰 𝔑𝔬𝔱𝔢: trust me, im cooking. He didn't tell her the 'awful thing he did' for a reason.

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imaginespazzi · 2 months

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Part 4: Warning Bells

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10

I don't think I can do this again (do you remember it too?)

(In which a self-admittedly all over the place writer takes you on a bit of a rollercoaster)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Fluff, Angst, Pining (the usuals)

Words: 6.1K

TW: Swearing, Mentions of Divorce

A/N: Hi lovelies :) Guess who made a deadline again? I'm as shocked as y'all are but I do wanna just warn y'all that August is gonna be really busy for me so as much as I'm gonna try to stick to schedule, there's a pretty good chance I won't. I really appreciate y'alls feedback with live-reacts/long reviews and it's truly the motivating factor behind my writing so pretty please keep sending them. I did edit (as usual) but please let me know the most likely existent typos anyway. As always, let me know what you liked, disliked and what you wanna see next. Have a lovely rest of your week my loves <3

March 2033

Here’s what Azzi has learned about motherhood: having kids means that there will come many times in your life, when you will look around you and wonder how the hell did I get here. It’s that thought that’s currently plaguing her as she finishes hanging up the WELCOME HOME banner on the living room wall in her ex-girlfriend’s new apartment. And when she’s talking about kids, she’s not talking about her five year old who’s currently sticking purple hearts on every surface she can find. No, she’s talking about her 6’5 teammate who she’d once “adopted” as a joke in college, but who’s basically become her surrogate child ever since they’d ended up on the same WNBA team.

It had started as a casual conversation when Jana, as she often did, had shown up for an impromptu lunch. The topic of Paige was hard to avoid considering it was Stephie’s favorite subject, heightened by the fact that Paige was coming back soon and Stephie was far too excited to finally have her Miss Buecks back. Jana was more than happy to indulge the little girl in conversation about what Paige had been like at UConn. And if Azzi had lost herself in those memories for a moment, transported back in time to a world that had once been blooming with promise before wilting in a darkness she’d created herself, well, she’d done an excellent job not letting it show on her face.

The real issue had started when Jana had casually let slip her idea of surprising Paige with a little welcome party. And as Stephie had started reciting all the different things they could do -because of course me and Mama will help you Aunty J, Azzi had glared at Jana, only to receive an innocent smile in return that told her everything she needed to know. She’d been set up.

That’s how, instead of spending her Saturday curled up on her comfortable couch with a book in her hands, Azzi is here instead and in true fashion, she’s the only one actually getting anything done. Jana, who had just left about twenty minutes ago to pick Paige up, had invited some of the other girls on the team to come help out yet, something about more hands on deck. Those supposed helpful hands had spent the last hour blowing up and popping balloons and getting nothing else done.

“I can’t believe y’all have me decorating for the woman who cost me my first national championship,” Joyce laments, “I still have nightmares from that game.”

“You gotta let that hurt go Aunty Joy,” Stephie says impishly, mimicking what Jana would normally say whenever the infamous 2025 South Carolina vs UConn national championship got brought up.

“Don’t sass me Miss Stephanie,” Joyce sticks out her tongue at the little girl, throwing a purple balloon at Stephie’s head, “hasn’t your Mama taught you that we don’t mock people’s pain.”

“Ignore her Steph,” Tessa says, bumping her former Gamecock teammate as she shares a devilish grin with Azzi’s daughter, “she’s just upset she only won one. Some of us have two.”

Joyce guffaws, throwing another balloon, this time aimed at Tessa, “dude we’re supposed to be on the same team. What would Coach Staley say to you teaming with UConn people of all things to bully me?”

“She’d thank me for making sure you didn’t get a big head,” Tessa snipes back.

Whatever response Joyce has to that quip is cut short by the doorbell ringing and Azzi feels her heartbeat quicken as Stephie lets out a squeal, dropping everything to go answer it. Things had been different since the facetime call almost two weeks ago. They’d accidentally on purpose settled into a routine where Stephie would call Paige at exactly 7 p.m. and Paige would answer on the first ring, promising to stay on the phone till the little girl fell asleep. And it would’ve been fine if that’s all it was. But then Paige started staying on the phone till after Stephie fell asleep and suddenly it was like they were back to their teenage selves, talking about everything and nothing, trying to learn every page of each other’s story all over again.

Azzi had missed so much about Paige in the last couple of years but there was nothing she’d missed more than just talking to her best friend. She’d missed the way Paige would tell a story, going off on a million tangents in between. She’d missed the way her eyes would light up when she got to a particularly exciting part of the story, specks of gold shimmering in the blue like sunlight hitting the ocean. She’d missed the way Paige’s hands would be flying animatedly all over the place, even when she was whispering. She’d missed the way the blonde would pause halfway through to observe if Azzi was still listening, making sure all of the attention was still on her. And she’d missed the way that when it was Azzi’s turn to speak, Paige would hang onto every word like it was gospel, intently listening like she’d never forgive herself if she couldn’t recite everything Azzi had just said from memory. She’d missed the way Paige would let her emotions freely flicker across her face, because whatever happened to Azzi, Paige felt it too.

She’d missed and missed, convinced the pain would be the end of her, until she’d tricked her mind into forgetting. And now Azzi’s beginning to realize that remembering it all again, might just be the thing that kills her.

“Nevermind,” Stephie walks back to the room, sulking slightly, “it’s just Aunty Liyah.”

“Oh thanks Stephie babe. That makes me feel so wonderful,” Aaliyah says, walking in behind Stephie with an offended expression on her face, “and here I thought bringing cupcakes would make me popular.”

“Tell me those are store-bought Chavez. I ain’t trusting them if you made them yourselves,” Joyce says, side-eyeing the cupcakes.

“Trust me I would never waste my precious time baking for y’all ungrateful ass-”

“Aaliyah,” Azzi shoots her younger teammate a sharp look.

“-ungrateful people,” Aaliyah corrects sheepishly, “cupcakes because y’all clearly don’t appreciate me.”

“I pre-ciate you Aunty Liyah,” Stephie says innocently, trying to get a better look at the aforementioned cupcakes, “you got the pu-ple ones right? They have to be pu-ple for Miss Buecks.”

Aaliyah bends down to Stephie’s level to show her the box of sweet treats “the perfect purple cupcakes for your Miss Buecks. How come you never wanna do nice things like this for us Stephie?”

“Because Miss Buecks is special,” Stephie retorts matter-of-factly.

“Oh so we’re not special?” Tessa asks, raising an eyebrow at Stephie.

“‘Course you are but Miss Buecks is special-er.”

And while her teammates all pretend to dramatically gasp at that, shaking their heads at Stephie, Azzi feels like someone’s squeezing her heart, twisting and twisting but never fully breaking it. She wonders if that might hurt less.

It’s another 10 minutes later when the doorbell rings again and Azzi watches her daughter’s face break into an incandescent grin, filled with hope, as she rushes to open the door because it has to be Paige this time. Azzi follows after her, trying to keep her breathing under control as anticipation clings to her nerves. Azzi’s gotten so spectacularly good at lying to herself that she tells herself this next one with ease: there’s not a single part of her that’s eager to see Paige again.

“SURPRISE,” Stephie screams, flinging the front door open with as much strength as she can muster. She doesn’t give Paige a chance to react before she’s throwing herself against the blonde’s legs, hugging her thighs.

It takes a second for Paige to register what’s happening, but when she does, it’s Azzi she’s looking at. Everything seems to move in slow motion as they stare at each other, the reality of the moment suddenly settling in. Paige is here. In Oakland. They’re going to be teammates; they’re going to see each other almost every day. Just like they used to. Except nothing is like it used to be and as that bitter truth comes up like bile in Azzi’s throat, she has to force herself to look away.

“Miss Buecks,” Stephie calls out, tugging at the hem of Paige’s white shirt to get her attention, “do you like my surprise?”

Paige tears her eyes away from Azzi, leaning down to pick Stephie up before peppering her faces with kisses and making the younger girl squeal in delight, “best surprise ever.”

And Azzi really, really, can’t watch this. Not when it makes her want to walk over and cocoon herself in with the two of them, makes her want to pretend that she’s living in another life, one where she hadn’t thrown away the chance of a happily ever after with the girl she’d fallen in love with at fourteen,

“Oh yeah Stephie, your surprise. Take all the credit. Not like the rest of us did anything,” Joyce rolls her eyes goodnaturedly, before pulling Paige into a one-armed hug, “welcome to the Bay Area Bueckers.”

Tessa and Aaliyah are next, both sharing warm hugs with their new teammate. Once they’ve had their turn, all eyes seem to turn to Azzi expectantly and the brunette blanches under their gaze. Other than Jana, who suddenly seems pretty heavily interested in the doorframe, the rest of her teammates don’t know about her past with Paige. So it’s only natural they’d expect her to greet Paige with all the cordiality of an old friend.

“Y’all good?” Joyce asks slowly, looking between the two of them, “do you want me to introduce y’all or?”

“Shut up,” Azzi murmurs before drawing in a deep breath and stepping towards Paige. She tries not to fixate on the way Paige’s jaw flexes when the blonde swallows, tries not to think about all the patterns she’d once carved against that little patch of skin because she knew it drove Paige insane. The thing is Azzi can’t even really remember the last time they hugged beyond a for-the-cameras one at a game. But as she wraps her arms around Paige, the older woman’s breath tickling against her ear as she grips Azzi’s waist, it doesn’t feel that much different from how it used to be. Paige’s arms are still safe and strong and Azzi still wants to melt into them. But what’s different is that Stephie’s in between them now, tiny hands securely fastened around both of their necks. And Azzi almost, almost gives into the feeling of belonging as she whispers two simple words that mean just a little too much.

“Welcome home.”

***

Seven pairs of eyes watch as the movers move box after box after box into Paige’s apartment, until there’s more cardboard than floor visible. The three non-UConn girlies are wide-eyed as they watch the pile grow endlessly. Meanwhile Jana is laughing while Azzi tries to hide a smile behind her hands as the realization that she’d have to unpack all of her stuff hits Paige in waves, and her expression grows more and more somber. Once the movers are finally done, it’s Stephie, whose hand is still firmly clasped in Paige’s, who breaks the silence.

“You have a lot of things Miss Buecks,” the little girl crinkles her nose, as she points out the obvious, “do you really need all of this stuff.”

“Of course I do Stephie,” Paige says indignantly and Azzi scoffs, earning her a withering glare from the blond.

“Aight well it was nice to meet you-” Joyce starts, slowly backing away from the mess until Jana blocks her way.

“Oh no you don’t. I told y’all we were all gonna help her move in. Call it team bonding,” the Egyptian says, her voice vaguely threatening.

“Most of the team isn’t even here,” Aaliyah points out cautiously.

“That’s not the point,” Jana rebukes, “alright team listen up. Here’s how this is going to go-”

“Maybe Paige should take charge. It is her apartment,” Tessa says slowly.

“If we put Paige in charge she’ll tell us all to go home and procrastinate doing anything until after the season,” Azzi says, a knowing smirk playing on her lips.

Paige pouts, “hey! I’m not that bad.”

“Oh you absolutely are.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“O-kay,” Jana claps, breaking apart the bickering, “it’s good to see the two of you are apparently younger than Stephie,” she holds up a hands a both Paige and Azzi start to splutter in their defense, “now as I was saying before being rudely interrupted. We’re gonna split this up. Joyce and I are gonna do the living room. Aaliyah and Tessa, y’all are gonna fix the guest room. Which leaves,” Jana smiles, and it’s only because Azzi knows her so well that she can read the menacing sparkle behind it, “Paige and Azzi to tackle the master bedroom.”

They both open their mouths to protest but are quick to get cut off by an excited Stephie, “I’mma help Mama and Miss Buecks!”

“Of course you are, why would you ever help anybody else? Clearly you don’t love us anymore. Not since your precious Miss Buecks got here,” Joyce says dramatically and while Paige smirks and the rest of the girls pretend to act mock offended, Azzi uses the distraction to sidle up to Jana.

“What the fuck are you playing at El-Alfy,” she hisses under hear breath.

Jana shrugs innocently, “the master bedroom is the hardest because Paige has so many fucking clothes so I’m letting y’all old heads do it. Some of us are below 30 ya know.”

“Cut the bullshit,” Azzi snaps.

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about Fudd,” Jana says airily as she starts to unpack a box, leaving Azzi muttering curses under her breath.

“Hey-”

Azzi spins around at the soft voice, only to find herself crashing against a solid body. It’s instinct, the way Paige’s hands immediately reach out to steady her and it’s instinct, the way Azzi’s hands grab at the lapels of the blond’s shirt. Goosebumps trails up her skin as Paige's breath, hot and heavy, fans across her face. They’re too close; way too close and yet the idea of stepping away feels like a sin. Azzi gulps as her thumb accidentally brushes Paige’s collarbone and the other woman shivers under her touch. She thinks she could probably get drunk off the feeling of knowing that she can still affect Paige like that.

“You uh-” Paige swallows, fingers squeezing involuntarily against Azzi’s hip, “you don’t have to listen to Jana. I can- I can figure it out myself.”

“N-no,” Azzi stutters and she wonders if Paige feels a high from the way she still affects Azzi too, “there’s um- you have- uh- you have a lot of stuff. I can-,” she sucks in a deep breath, “I’ll help.”

“You sure?” there’s a vulnerable edge to Paige’s tone and any resolve Azzi could ever have melts immediately.

“I want to help,” she says softly, letting a small smile slip onto her lips.

The smile she gets in return is bright and sparkling, just like Paige herself and Azzi’s heart lurches, pleased to be the one receiving it, pleased to be the one who’d elicited it, “Good, cause I really wanted your help.”

Azzi shakes her head, trying to ignore the warning bells blazing in her head at the fact that they’re still holding each other, “why’d you pretend you didn’t?”

“I just wanted to hear you say it first,” Paige says, biting at her bottom lip. It leaves a light mark and Azzi finds herself wanting to soothe it over with her own tongue.

She thinks it might have been easier if it was just a little harder to fall back into Paige. It shouldn’t be so simple to fall back into late night conversations, so simple to fall back into easy teasing, so simple to fall back into feeling at peace in Paige’s arms. But it is.

“Mama, Miss Buecks,” it’s Stephie who breaks their bubble but instead of jumping away from each other like they should, they step apart only enough to let the little girl into the space between them, so she can lace her hands through both of theirs, “are you ready?”

“Before you go Paige,” Tessa calls out, holding up a clear bag of corner guards and edge protectors, “what are we doing with these?”

Paige shuffles her feet nervously, “you um- you put them on the edge of like tables and stuff.”

“Bro but they’re for people who have children?” Joyce says, giving Paige a weird look, “you have a kid we don’t know about?”

Paige’s eyes flicker to Stephie for a brief second and Azzi freezes, a warm realization tickling up her spine. Butterflies erupt in her stomach, their wings fluttering to the beat of what’s mine could have been ours.

“Of course not. I’m just super clumsy so precautions and all that,” the blond explains, shooting Jana a glare when the taller woman barely masks a giggle, “quit procrastinating by asking all these questions and get to work.”

“Has anyone ever told you the importance of first impressions? Because I’m telling you Bueckers, using your teammates as unpaid labor the first time you meet them is not it,” Aaliyah gives Paige a pointed look.

“This wasn’t even my idea in the first place,” Paige defends.

“True,” Tessa nods with a sickly sweet smile, “but you’re gonna pay for the pizza anyways.”

“I’m not pay-”

“PIZZA,” Stephie squeals, “Miss Buecks you’re gonna get us Pizza?”

“Yeah Miss Buecks,” Azzi smickers, crossing her arms as Paige’s stubborn retort dies on her lips, “you gonna get us pizza?”

Paige glares at her before she’s swinging Stephie up onto her lap again. And she really needs to stop doing things like that because it’s not remotely good for Azzi’s mental health to watch the way Stephie seems to fit perfectly in Paige’s arms, “of course I am Steph, what do you want?”

The two of them are lost in their own world discussing pizza toppings as Paige starts walking over to the master bedroom, until suddenly they're both turning around, looking at Azzi with identical expressions. And the brunette feels her heart tap out this could be my everything against her ribcage.

“You coming Azzi?”

“Mama, are you coming?”

I’d go anywhere with the two of you, Azzi thinks as she nods her head, a light skip in her step as she moves to catch up with the two of them.

“Of course I’m coming.”

***

Less than 10 minutes into trying to unpack, Azzi realizes that she’s the only one trying to unpack anything when she looks up from where she’s been folding t-shirts -trying and failing at not breathing in their familiar scent- to find Stephie decked in a colorful cardigan that goes all the way down to her toes, her feet clad in a pair of PB4’s that must be three times the size of her own shoes. A pair of Louis Vuitton sunglasses hide almost her entire face as she strikes pose after pose and Paige diligently takes pictures of her.

“YES Stephie,” the blond indulges, “work it girl. There you go babe, hold that pose for me. You’re a natural in front of the camera.”

Stephie giggles and Azzi feels her heart constrict. Her favorite sound in the whole world has never sounded more like a signal for danger.

“Ahem ahem,” she coughs, narrowing her eyes at the two people in front of her, “doesn’t look like y’all are unpacking to me.”

“Mama Miss Buecks has so many pretty clothes,” Stephie gushes, completely ignoring what her mother just said.

“They’d look even prettier folded in her closet,” Azzi says pointedly.

Stephie pouts, “you don’t think I look pretty?”

“You look really pretty in my clothes Stephie,” Paige cuts in, tapping the little girl on the nose before she turns her gaze towards Azzi, “just like your Mama used to.”

The silk material shirt slips out of Azzi’s hand as Paige’s words drizzle around her, like the rain after a drought. It takes every little bit of strength she can muster to force herself to ignore Paige’s words and pick up another shirt to fold even if she can’t stop the rouge tint that colors her face. There’s this part of her that’s been dormant for years but every little interaction with Paige threatens to awaken it and Azzi’s scared that if she lets that happen, she’ll never be able to put it to sleep again.

“Just- just focus on unpacking,” Azzi mutters darkly.

She spends the next hour or so, keeping her eyes downcast, her complete focus on the task at hand. Because if she looks up, if she lets herself see the way Stephie and Paige are folding clothes together while giggling about something, if she lets herself see the way Stephie climbs onto Paige’s back so the woman can give her a piggyback to the closet to deposit the folded clothes, she thinks she could fall in love with this moment, capture it behind her eyelids and let it live there forever. But this moment doesn’t belong to Azzi. Because Paige doesn’t belong to Azzi. Not anymore.

Azzi’s taken away from her thoughts when she feels a tiny hand wrapping around her neck from behind, Stephie’s warm body pressing against her back and just like that, all the tension in her muscles seem to dissipate.

“What’s up sweetheart,” she asks, turning her head to press her lips against her daughter’s temple.

“Nothing Mama,” Stephie says sweetly, “just wanted to give you a hug.”

“Sure you’re not just trying to get out of helping Miss Buecks unpack?” Azzi asks slyly, pulling Stephie from behind her, so the little girl’s lying on her lap instead. She can feel Paige’s eyes focused on the two of them and even without looking, she thinks she knows what she’d find in them if she did.

“Of course not Mama,” Stephie grins and then squeals as Azzi begins to tickle her.

“I think you are,” Azzi sings-songs as she continues to poke at her daughter’s stomach, reveling in the way it makes the child laugh.

“N-no Mama stop, stop,” Stephie manages to wrench herself out from Azzi’s grip, darting to hide behind Paige’s legs, “Miss Buecks save me.”

“There’s no saving you now Stephie-bear,” Azzi roars dramatically as she picks herself off the floor, smirking at her daughter as she wriggles her fingers menacingly.

“You know what the best way to stop someone from tickling you is Stephie?” Paige says slowly, sending the little girl a conspiratorial wink.

“Don’t you dare-”

“You tickle them back,” Paige yells and Stephie eyes widen with excitement, “did you know your Mama’s extremely ticklish?”

“Paige no,” Azzi starts moving back, hands held in surrender.

“You started it.”

“Yeah Mama, you started it.”

“Paige. Stephie. Ple-” Azzi cuts herself off with squeal as two sets of hands start mercilessly prodding at her ribcage. She can’t get away, not when Paige has her securely wrapped from the back and Stephie’s pressed against her front, both of them laughing maniacally. They’re a mess of limbs that’s becoming harder and harder to tell apart as the three of them topple onto Paige’s bed. And Azzi thinks maybe she doesn’t want to escape it at all. She thinks she’d like to freeze them in this moment instead. Forever.

“Pizza’s here,” someone yells from the living room and it’s Stephie who stops first, immediately jumping off the bed at the mention of food, leaving Paige and Azzi alone. On Paige’s bed. Barely an inch of distance between them as they try to catch their breath. It’s Azzi who sits up first, smoothening the wrinkles on her shirt. And just as she’s about to stand up fully, she feels a hand circling around her wrist.

“It’s gonna be weird being alone tonight,” Paige confesses softly and Azzi feels her breath hitch.

“Didn’t you live alone in Dallas? At least after the divorce?” she tries to keep the bitterness out of her voice at the last word, a bitterness she knows she has absolutely no right to feel.

Paige shrugs, her shoulders brushing against Azzi’s, “I did but I knew Dallas. I don’t know this place.”

“What exactly are you asking me?” Azzi asks even though she knows.

“I’m not asking you anything. I don’t know if I have that right anymore” Paige says softly, letting go of Azzi’s wrist as she starts to walk towards the living room, turning her head back slightly once she gets to the door, “I’m just telling you I don’t wanna be alone tonight.”

***

Damn Paige Bueckers and her vulnerable eyes and her earnest tone because Azzi would, really, really like to be enjoying her slice of pizza right now. Instead everything tastes like ashes as Paige’s unsaid plea rings in her head. There are so many reasons why Azzi absolutely shouldn’t give in, why she should grab Stephie, get into her car, drive home and never look back. This involuntary dance the two of them are starting is far too familiar to what they’d done when they were teenagers and the vivid memories of the day the music stopped and they’re feet stopped moving still haunt Azzi every time she lets herself think of it for a little too long. And she shouldn’t push herself into this fire again, not when there’s Stephie to think about, but there’s a tiny little problem. She thinks she might be addicted to burning in Paige’s flames.

So when the pizza’s done and the house is more or less in order, and her teammates are ready to leave, looking expectantly at Azzi, she finds herself leaping into lava, “um- I think Stephie and I are gonna stay for a little bit longer.”

“We are?” Stephie asks, a huge smile stretching the length of her face as she looks up at her mother.

“Yeah. Um- Paige’s bedroom still um- still needs some work,” Azzi tries to justify her decision, ignoring the heat of the blond’s eyes that seem to be perpetually stuck staring at her.

Joyce raises a perplexed eyebrow, “it looked done to me.”

Paige clears her throat, “there’s definitely uh- a couple more things that need to be handled.”

“It’s almost Stephie’s bedtime. I could stay and help-” Jana begins, eyeing the two of them suspiciously.

“No,” Paige says, a little louder than necessary, “I mean you’ve already done so much for me today Jana,” she manages a smirk, “let Azzi pull her weight a little bit too ya know.”

Janna narrows her eyes but doesn’t push it. It’s oddly domestic, standing side by side with Paige bidding goodbye to their teammates, Stephie in between them happily waving at the people that are leaving. The warning bells get louder and louder; Azzi continues to do nothing to stop them.

“Mama, how long are we staying?” Stephie asks innocently.

“We um-” Azzi chews at her lip, finally giving into the temptation to look at Paige, “we’re gonna stay with Miss Buecks tonight so she doesn’t feel alone.”

The shrill scream that escapes Stephie’s mouth could probably break glass as she turns herself around to grab at Paige’s waist, “Miss Buecks I’m gonna stay with you! We’re gonna have a sleep-over.”

Paige laughs, kneeling down so she’s face to face with the little girl, “yeah we are.”

“Are you scared to sleep alone too Miss Buecks?” Stephie asks cautiously, cupping Paige’s face with tiny hands.

“Just a little bit,” Paige admits, leaning into Stephie’s touch.

“Me too,” Stephie whispers shyly, “that’s why I sneak into Mama's bed and she gives me lots and lots and lots of cuddles. Mama’s cuddles are the best,” she turns to Azzi, “Mama will you give Miss Buecks cuddles tonight too?”

“I uh-” Azzi swallows, taken aback by the question, “I thought you didn’t like sharing Mama’s cuddles?”

“I don’t,” Stephie agrees, “but I’d be okay sharing them with Miss Buecks.”

***

Azzi had planned -a loose term because really she hadn’t planned on any of this- for her and Stephie to take the guest room. Paige had been ready to give up her own room on the grounds of politeness. And Stephie was insistent that she needed to sleep in between both Mama and Miss Buecks tonight because it’s a sleepover we all have to stay together. Obviously out of the three of them, only one of them was going their way and it didn’t take a genius to figure out who that would be. That’s how they’d ended up here, dragging chairs and pillows and blankets into the middle of the living room to create a makeshift fort.

Azzi’s putting on the finishing touches, stringing purple fairy lights Paige had produced out of nowhere, when Stephie emerges from Paige’s bedroom where she’d gone looking for something to wear in lieu of pajamas.

“Mama look what I found,” Stephie beams, proudly pointing at the black t-shirt she’s found that covers her whole body, “it’s you and Miss Buecks when you were littler.”

It’s their SLAM cover t-shirt and Azzi feels tears prickling at her waterline as she’s met with the picture of a younger version of the two of them. Back when they’d been so hopeful and carefree, ready to take on the world as long as they could do it together. Back when they’d been 2 in a million.

“I can’t believe you still have this,” Azzi whispers, unable to stop herself from running her fingers across the version of who they used to be. She wonders what those girls would think of them now; those girls who’d laid and bed and pinky promised forever. She thinks they’d probably be appalled at the fact that Paige and Azzi had spent eight years barely speaking. She thinks maybe they’d hate her for what she’d done. She thinks maybe she hates herself a little bit for what she’s done to them.

Paige is leaning against the wall, her voice quiet when she speaks, “I couldn’t let it go.”

And they both know she’s not talking about the shirt.

“Can we watch a movie?” Stephie asks, diving into the fort and peering up at the two adults.

Paige recovers first, “yeah- yeah of course Steph,” she looks at Azzi, “do you- do you want something else to sleep in?”

“I’m good,” Azzi says, trying to inconspicuously brush away a rebellious tear. The shirt she’s wearing feels itchy against her skin but she doesn’t think she could handle wearing something of Paige’s. She scooches into the fort, leaning back against one of the pillows and Stephie’s quick to curl into her and Azzi absentmindedly rubs her hands down her daughter’s back. Paige switches on the TV, letting Stephie dictate a movie choice before letting herself into the fort, laying down on Stephie’s other side.

“Miss Buecks come cuddle,” Stephie demands from where her head is laying on Azzi’s chest. When Paige hesitates, the younger girl takes it upon herself to pull Paige’s arms over her, making the older woman lie on her side so she can drape her hands over Stephie's stomach, accidentally brushing against Azzi’s ribcage. Stephie lets out a satisfied sigh, lying back down against Azzi, crossing her arms so she can hold Paige’s hand with one and latch onto her mother with the other.

“Perfect.”

And it is. The sound of Stephie’s chatter slowly fading away mixed with Paige’s quiet breathing is the perfect lullaby and Azzi finds herself drifting off into the best sleep she’s had in years.

***

Sunlight peeks in through the window and Azzi groans at the interruption. Her whole body feels a little stiff, not used to sleeping on the floor like this. A quick glance at her phone tells her it’s 7 a.m. and Azzi’s just about to let herself fall back asleep when her eyes land on the two sleeping figures next to her. Stephie’s face is buried in Paige’s neck, one arm slung over her waist. Paige, mouth slightly ajar as she sleeps, has both hands fastened on the younger, holding her tightly against her chest like she’d fight the world if someone tried to steal her from her grip. They look happy, content, at peace. And Azzi can’t breathe.

The warning bells in her head create a cacophonous commotion that she can no longer escape. It hits her like whiplash that she can’t do this. She doesn’t know what had gotten into her last night, why she’d agreed to this, to any of this. But she can’t do this.

“Stephie,” Azzi whispers urgently, trying to pull her daughter out of Paige’s grasp, “Stephie wake up.”

“Az?” Paige asks groggily, stirring in her sleep, “what’s going on?”

“We need to go home,” Azzi says and she can’t bear to look at Paige.

“What?” Paige is far more awake now as she glances at her phone, “it’s 7 am Azzi. What’s the rush?"

Azzi ignores her, still trying to wake Stephie up who groans, “Mama too early.”

“Steph-”

“Azzi,” Paige’s voice is firm as she wraps her hand around Azzi’s wrist, slipping Stephie off of her, “what is going on.”

Azzi grits her teeth, “nothing’s going on. We just need to go home.”

“Azzi-”

“We shouldn’t have stayed last night Paige,” Azzi bursts out and Paige freezes.

“Come out of the fort Azzi,” the blond says, her voice eerily calm as she stands up. Azzi follows after her, heart beating rapidly against her chest as she tries to keep the tears at bay.

“We need to go home,” the brunette repeats, struggling to breathe, “this was a mistake,” Paige flinches and Azzi feels a knife turn in her own hurt, “we can’t do this.”

“Do what Azzi?” Paige asks exasperatedly, still trying to keep her voice low for Stephie’s sake.

“This,” Azzi all but shrieks, throwing her hands up, “it’s too much, too quick and Stephie- Stephie’s getting attached and I can’t- I can’t let that happen.”

“Why not?” Paige argues stubbornly.

“Because these last two weeks she couldn’t fall asleep without you on the phone. Because you’re all she talks about sometimes. Because she’s gonna want you forever,” Azzi’s voice breaks, “and she can’t have you forever.”

“Az-”

“And you’re getting attached too. I see the way you look at her and it’s amazing but it’s not- it’s not sustainable Paige. For either of you. Because you’re gonna find someone soon,” the words taste sour on Azzi’s tongue, “and you’re not gonna have time for her and missing you is going to kill her and the guilt of that is going to hurt you. I’m trying to pro-”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Paige’s voice is hard now, eyes gleaming with fire, “you’re basing all of this on a hypothetical that might not even come true. You’re not protecting anybody. You’re projecting.”

Azzi reels back, “I am not projecting.”

“Yes you are,” Paige hisses, “you’re not scared of Stephie or me getting too attached. You’re scared of yourself getting too attached.”

“Mama? Miss Buecks,” Stephie’s tired eyes look warily between the two of them, “what’s going on?”

Azzi plasters a smile on her face as she picks up her little girl, trying to pretend that the truth in Paige’s words haven’t just made her feel hollow, “we’re going home Stephie.”

“I don’t wanna go home,” Stephie fights against Azzi’s grip, looking helplessly at Paige, “Miss Buecks I wanna stay. Can I please stay?”

“You have to listen to your Mama sweetheart” Paige says softly, heartbreak written over her face as she moves to press a kiss against Stephie’s knuckles, “but I’ll see you soon okay. I promise.”

“Miss Buecks,” Stephie whimpers and Azzi has never hated herself more as she rushes out of Paige’s new house, willing herself to not look back. She buckles Stephie in the back, pretending she doesn’t see the way Paige is watching them leave from the porch, like she’d do anything to stop it. And then she drives away.

It isn’t until she’s safely in the confines over her own room, that Azzi finally lets the tears fall. And she consoles herself with the fact that it’s okay to crack her daughter's heart, to crack Paige’s heart, to crack her own heart, if that’s the only way she can stop their hearts from breaking altogether.

#pazzi #paige bueckers #azzi fudd #wcbb

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munsonsreputation · 8 months

Text

i'm falling in love, again

steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: [6.7K]

warnings: no use of y/n, friends to lovers, infidelity (reader's ex), characters are in their early 20s, modern!au (they've got cellphones and text messages okay!!!), cursing, some angst w/ fluff ending.

summary: you thought the plane was going down, but somehow, someway, all the fates and all the stars aligned, and now you were lost in labyrinth of Steve Harrington’s mind forever.

“Hey doll,” Steve greeted softly, holding out a bunch of flowers towards your figure that stood slouched against the wooden doorway, sadness filled orbs meeting his.

You pouted deeply, eyes brewing with tears that blurred him out before you blinked and set them loose. He made a sound, sighed and tsking before he finally closed the space and wrapped you up in his arms, letting you fall against him while you wept into the crook of his neck.

“H-hi Steve.” You croaked, fingers sinking into his back, trying to anchor yourself as he rubbed your skin up and down attempting to sooth the biting warmth that swarmed your body.

Pulling away slightly to look down at your tear-stained face, he gave you a tight smile and gripped you a little tighter.

“Let’s go inside, yeah?” He suggested.

You nodded, pulling yourself away from him and swiping your cheeks with your fingers, letting him step into your apartment watching as he locked the door shut and toed off his shoes.

It was emptier than usual, missing footwear from the shoe rack and lonely pegs of the key holder that used to hold another’s. Your ex had finally come around to pick up his things that were left behind. Even if it was a month of separation and him overseas preparing you to see him, it sucked the soul out of your body when he knocked and stood on the other side waiting for you to let him in now that the locks were changed and his spare was no use.

“Sorry for the mess,” You sniffled, gesturing pathetically around the disheveled area, still trying to get rid of everything that reminded you of him and the things that he left behind.

He shook his head, setting the flowers down on the kitchen table and walking over to you. You hated crying in front of him mostly because he hated seeing you so sad, but you couldn’t help what you were feeling inside.

“Don’t apologize. I’m never gonna judge you.” He reminded you never wanting you to feel bad for feeling how you did.

His hands fidgeted with your fingers, rubbing comforting circles over your skin, hoping to get the slow trail of tears to stop pouring and your breathing to even out.

“What do you wanna do?” He proposed, speaking so delicately, careful and considerate, “I can help you get rid of whatever you want out or we can sit down and talk, or we don’t have to talk at all. Whatever you want…I’m here.”

The truth is, Steve was always there through the good, the bad, the ugly, and the stunning. He was one of your closest friends who saw you through and through everything and no matter what, he always made it clear that the second you needed him or anybody, he would be there.

He was the first one to officially meet your ex before he even asked you to be his girlfriend. It all happened when you went on your first date that was soon running a little too late into the evening. Steve was sitting by himself in the corner of the pizzeria as per your request just in case your date turned out to be horrible and you needed a convenient way out.

Three taps of your foot against the tiles meant, “please get up and get me out of there,” and so when he saw you do just that, he didn’t hesitate to stand up and “run into you” by coincidence.

“Oh, hey! I didn’t know you were going to be here tonight.” Steve beamed, holding his arms out wide as you smiled and stood up from your seat, embracing him in a hug.

“Hey Steve!” You greeted, pulling away and turning to your date.

“This is my friend, Steve! We actually live in the same apartment complex.” You explained, watching as they both shook hands and Steve nodded towards him.

Steve snapped his fingers, pointing at you as if he remembered something. “Don’t forget that maintenance is shutting off the water at 2 in the morning—that leak is still going at it.” He cursed, shaking his head.

You gasped, nudging his shoulder. “You’re so right! I totally forgot about that.”

Passing your date an apologetic look, you picked up your purse and slung it over your arm.

“I’m so sorry, but I think I should head home. I definitely want to shower before the water gets shut off for god knows how long.”

He stood up, nodding her head, and gesturing out the windows, “Sure thing! Did you want me to drop you—”

Steve cut him off, shaking his head and draping his arm over your shoulders.

“I think we could walk together, just makes sense since we live in the same place and it’ll save you some gas.” Steve assured him, as you nodded in agreement and said your goodbyes.

It wasn’t long before your arm hooked over his and you two were walking the busy streets back to your apartment complex only a good ten minutes away. You and Steve often walked together to do groceries, get late night pizza, or just to get out of your apartments for a while. He never let you walk alone though… that was always his rule.

“Did he say something stupid?” Steve suspected, peering over at you.

You shook your head, silently continuing to walk with him.

“Is he not funny?” He tried again.

You laughed this time, pushing against him gently as he nearly tripped over his own feet.

“He wasn’t not funny.” You chided.

He wanted to beg to differ, seeing as though you spent most of the date nodding and smiling, not much laughter going on, but maybe he was just reading too much into it. But he tried to think up what could have made you want to cut the date short and head back home thirty minutes earlier than you were supposed to.

“Do you not find him attractive?” He said once more.

Your lips curled, eyes shooting up to think to yourself as you neither shook your head nor nodded, just simply shrugging.

“He’s great, I had fun… I just don’t know where this is gonna go.” You pointed out, stopping at the crosswalk.

He leaned over you, fist knocking into the button, waiting for the light to turn red.

“Where do you want it to go?” He met your eyes, staring into them deeply, hoping to get a glimpse of the future, yet all he could see was the slight reflection of himself.

You smiled unknowingly, taking a deep breath and letting your shoulder fall.

“We’ll see.” You whispered, tugging him along through the crosswalk.

Two piles were made in the middle of your living room: trash and donate. You and Steve went through boxes of stuff your ex had left behind, clothes, old records, knick knacks — everything that he had left for you to deal with, as if breaking your heart wasn’t enough.

“Why did he always dress like he was in boarding school?” Steve cackled, folding up a pair of slacks that added to the already tall pile of dress clothes that would be going to the Salvation Army.

You giggled, sifting through the rest of the stuff you had set aside, and hid in the back of your closet, hoping to avoid until now.

“He was really going for that stuck up, private school, douchebag look I guess.” You scorned, huffing as you chucked a meaningless valentines card into the trash bag.

You didn’t care for keeping anything from him even just for memory's sake — if anything you wanted to burn him out of your memory and forget that he ever even existed to begin with.

“Well, on the bright side, someone else is gonna be wearing these clothes to their first professional interview, but hopefully whoever it is isn’t such a jackass.” Steve scoffed, moving the pile aside to make space for the rest of the things.

“Yeah, let’s hope.” You breathed, reaching the bottom of the box, plucking out the white envelope that laid by itself.

You froze for a second, throat tightening up and your heart thumping against your chest a little stronger. It had been the thing you found that confirmed your suspicions that your ex wasn’t being as loyal as he was claiming to be. In fact, he had been sharing his devotion to another woman… one that you thought was just a friend from work, though you should have read the signs way before then.

“You okay?” Steve furrowed his brows at the sudden silence, turning to see you go rigid while you stared at the piece of paper.

The front of it was marked with her initials and his in a big red heart, encasing their names like it was some kind of holy matrimony. The other side stained with her red lipstick marks that she had left behind. The contents of the letter: a confession of her love for him — how she couldn’t believe she had gotten so lucky to find someone whom she got to see every day even if it was during boring meetings and long nights at the office.

Your heart felt like it had dropped from its cages right down to your gut, a sort of free falling feeling similar to the rise of an elevator that would come plunging down. You wanted to be in denial, re-reading the letter over and over again hoping that maybe your mind was seeing things that they weren’t supposed to — but that was the joke of it all.

You weren’t supposed to see it, but you did.

You felt the rise, quickly taking you up to the floor that you were supposed to be on, only to be left hugging yourself, not even being given a warning to brace the crash.

“I—It’s the letter.” You let out, swallowing the lump in your throat, eyes staying glued to the floor as you tossed it aside.

Steve was the first to know about it, too. You had called him, practically speechless not knowing how to go about it. He swore the first five minutes of the phone call was him asking you if you were alright and if you were still there — nothing could have prepared him for what you were about to say next.

“I…I think he might be cheating on me.” You whispered, closing your eyes, doing your best to not take it out of proportion.

Steve just jeered, puffing out a ridiculous laugh. “Why do you think that? How could he ever cheat on someone as amazing as you? I think you might be overthin—”

“I found a letter.” You confessed, and he quickly shut up then the line went silent for a few seconds.

“W-what kind of letter? I-I mean, what does it say?” He stammered over his words, still trying to grasp what was happening.

“A love letter.” You cracked, taking a harsh breath, rising up from your place on the floor to get as far away from it as possible to somehow make it feel like it wasn’t real.

“I’m so sorry,” Steve rushed the apology out.

A shuffle sounding over his voice as you let out a sob and paced your apartment panicked and distraught.

“What do I do? I—I never imagined this…never in a million years. I don’t know what to do, Steve… please, tell me, what can I do?”

You were begging, trying to make sense of the situation, even trying to see it through when you both knew there was no going back from here.

Steve wouldn’t let you do that to yourself.

A knock sounded on your door, interrupting your tears as you choked, wiping them off your cheeks, pulling the phone away from your ear slightly. You unlocked it, opening it a bit only to be met with him on the other side. He caught his breath, pushing the door open with a gently hand.

“I don’t know, but right now, I’m here okay? I’ll be here as long as you need.”

Steve stayed over that night, holding you in your arms as he read the letter to himself, trying to understand why that son of a bitch could do something so cruel to you. And when your phone went off with a text message from him, saying he’d be spending the night at the office doing paperwork ahead of the big meeting the next morning — Steve was the one who texted back for you.

You both knew he was lying, spending the night at her place instead.

It took everything in Steve to not blow up, to pounce on the moment to tell him that you had found the letter and figured everything out. That he best not even bother to come home at all because you’d be throwing him out.

But he resisted… and he always did until you were ready.

He resisted the next day when you told him to go home and get some rest after he had spent the night worrying about you and soothing you back to sleep when you would wake with the nightmares of your boyfriend and his mistress.

He resisted when you told him that you’d figure out a way to break up with your him soon, even when he knew you were holding out.

He resisted when he came to check up on you a few days later, only to be met with your boyfriend answering the door, him and his stuff still there.

He resisted when you and your friends went out for dinner, and you had dropped the bombshell on them, and could say nothing when they asked if you had broken it off already.

He never understood why you waited so long to call things off, when deep down you knew how wrong the situation was. He tried to put himself into your shoes, to imagine what you must be feeling inside that made you want to stay and be tolerated instead of celebrated. But he couldn’t feel it. He only wished you could see yourself from his eyes, then maybe you’d see it a little clearer.

That you didn’t need to stay in the footnotes or the bylines of his life, when Steve was right there, so ready and willing to make you his temple, his mural, and his sky.

But he sat and watched you until you were ready to let go — until you pulled the dagger out and lost the weight of the person who was holding you back and taking advantage of your love.

He swiped the letter away, tucking it within the folded clothes to get it out of your sights. He scooted closer to you, a tender hand coming to cradle your head and let you rest it on his shoulder.

“Do you think she knew about me?” You marveled aloud, sniffling as you grazed up at him.

He didn’t answer, just letting his fingers pull your hair behind your ears, tucking them away.

“She had to have known, right?” You stared at him, hoping he would have the answers that you’d been longing to find even after all this time.

But Steve wasn’t an expert on all this. He didn’t want to fill your head with narratives that he didn’t know were exactly true; he knew it would only make you spiral with the would’ve, could’ve, should’ve’s, but to quite honest, there was nothing that you could have done to fix it and no answer Steve could have given you to change the past.

“He didn’t deserve you. I know that much.” Steve whispered, lifting your hand in his, keeping his response short with something that he knew was sure.

You squeezed against his digits, threading your fingers through his, letting the both of you stay hand in hand on your living room floor.

“Why wasn’t I enough for him?”

He squeezed your hand three times, taking a deep breath in keeping his eyes on yours, “Because he was an idiot not satisfied with the best he had in front of him.”

Steve knew a lot about boys. After all, he once was one of them — stupid, self-centered, ignorant, and most of all ungrateful. He lived life like everything and everyone was replaceable, a kind of numbness that he had garnered since he was a little boy following the footsteps of his dad and just trying to make him proud by being a reflection of him.

Nancy Wheeler changed that for him, his first love, such a lovely experience that changed his life for the better. But it costed him losing her too. He could never step close to Jonathan Byers, the one who was man enough to love Nancy the way she wanted… the way Steve never could.

It stung for a long time. Lots of hope that maybe one day Nancy would love him again, and more hopelessness knowing that she was irrevocably in love with Jonathan and he would have hated for her to only see him in his eyes knowing her heart always belonged to him.

The heartbreak could have made him envious at the world, wanting to lash out like a wounded animal and get revenge on the entire world like some sort of villain, but it did the exact opposite.

He took it in stride even when some days were harder than the rest. There was a community of love around him, and while it wasn’t romantic, it was enough for him to see it through and know that one day when he met the one, he wouldn’t let himself let her pass by.

You released his hand, smoothing the top of his with yours as you put on a small smile taking your head off of his shoulders.

“I’m gonna make us a drink… and thank you for being here for me.” You spoke gratefully, standing up and heading for the kitchen.

He stayed there for a second, watching you closely, trying to figure out if you were running away from talking about it or if you were just over it by now. He crossed his fingers that it was the second option; he wanted you to be over it, to not be so affected and hurt anymore knowing that you were always the better half, the one who didn’t lose anything because you already had everything you needed inside of your heart.

But he also knew it tended to get like this — thoughts so loud, presence so distant, you were a world away while he was there hoping you’d find your way back home soon.

“Fuck him, he’s a piece of shit who never deserved you!”

The nightclub was so chaotic, bright lights, booming music, even louder friends who were trying to get you to feel a little better about the breakup. Nancy and Robin had arranged the night out for you with the best of intentions, seeing as though you had spent every day since the breakup inside the apartment that you used to share with him.

It didn’t help that you broke things off right before he had to go out of town for a work, all of his things still stayed where they were, not enough time for him to find a new place or ask a friend to stay with them for a while. But it wasn’t as bad as it could have been if he was still there physically.

You gulped down the shot, pinching your eyes closed when the liquid went down with a burn before being followed by the sourness of a lime. The girls cheered around you, nudging your shoulders and placing kisses on your head affectionately.

“C’mon! Let’s go dance!” Robin whistled, grabbing your hand and attempting to pull you to the dance floor with her and Nance, but you stayed grounded, just barely glued to the seat.

You flashed her a reassuring smile and waved her off to the dance floor.

“You guys go ahead! I’ll meet you there in a little…I just need some water.” You called out loud enough through the music and they both nodded, shimmying into the disco lights.

Steve tapped his fingers against the tabletop, sipping on his Coke, no alcohol added. He volunteered to be the designated driver for the night and of course, honorary body guard if anyone messed with you guys. You didn’t know if he’d want to spend the night practically babysitting three girls, but you were glad he was there nonetheless.

“You having fun?” Steve leaned over so you could hear him better.

You nodded instantly, though there was a strain in your features. Eyes shining with a glaze over them and your smile felt like it was rehearsed, something you had spent time in the mirror trying to get right so that it was believable past the frown you’d been wearing.

He looked at you unconvinced, reaching under the table to hold your hand in his, “You can tell me the truth, doll.”

“I just…” You looked around, hoping that your friends were looking at you and sure enough they were too busy dancing to the beat of the music having fun like you were supposed to be doing right then. But you definitely didn’t want to dump it on them, seeing as though they did this for you and didn’t mean any harm.

“I, I hate that everybody expects me to bounce back, just like that.” You snapped your fingers with a clack, “I want to forget about it and move on, I really do, but I just can’t do it overnight you know?”

He nodded understandingly, thumbing over your knuckles, “I know what you mean, but it only hurts this much right now because it’s raw and fresh… one day you’re gonna wake up and it won’t hurt as much.”

“I wish that day would come sooner.”

“It will,” He reassured you, squeezing your hand three times, “But what about tonight you just pretend?”

“Pretend?” You looked at him uncertainly.

“Pretend like you’re over it, or just pretend like he never even existed? Go out there and have fun and pretend like you forgot about him, just for tonight.” He told you, gesturing over to the dance floor of people who were probably doing the same.

“You think that’ll work?” You rose your brows, and he snickered, shrugging lightly.

“Won’t know if you don’t try,” Steve whistled.

“Come with me?” You tilted your head before taking the last shot on the platter.

You let it burn, not bothering with a chaser until he pushed his Coke towards you, coaxing you to take at least a sip before nodding his head with a sly smile.

“I’m following your lead, babe.”

Steve was sober, yet with his hands intertwined in yours he felt drunk on love. Laughing so hard, his cheeks hurt as he moved with you, nonstop jumping, screaming, and dancing to the music that resounded through the speakers. Even in the neon lights of the club, nothing shined as bright as you. He would do anything you wanted in order to see you this happy, even if it meant breaking his back to make you break a smile.

He stayed on that dance floor until you were tired and needed to catch a breath. His hand stayed in yours as he drove Nancy and Robin home. He stayed and held your hair back when you threw up in the toilet. And he stayed with you in his arms on your living room couch as you cried at the haunting memories until you fell asleep.

It felt like no one could put you back together, not even yourself, but Steve was the one holding onto you during those times, and he always stayed — even now.

He tossed out the trash bags into the dumpster, placing the donated ones in the trunk of his car to deal with tomorrow. Two vintage VHS tapes sat in the corner of the trunk, something he thought maybe you both could enjoy for the rest of the day.

“I found these.” He wiggled them in the air, locking the front door shut. “I was supposed to return them yesterday, but I’ll just do it when I get back to work on Monday.”

You strided over, swapping the tapes for his drink: Coke with a splash of triple sec. Inspecting the tapes, you moped, looking up at him.

“These are both rom-coms.” You grumbled, taking them towards the living room nonetheless, him following behind you.

Steve muttered out an ‘sorry’ before falling back onto the couch.

“They’re El’s. She gave them to me to return because she didn’t want to bike all the way there. But we don’t have to watch any of them. We can just sit and talk if you want?”

You snorted, setting them down near the player just in case you both decided to watch them later. “About how pathetic I am for still letting him get to me?”

“You’re not pathetic.” He sat the glass down on the coffee table, patting the cushion beside him.

“I feel like I should be over it by now.” You retorted, tossing yourself beside him, slumping into the cushions.

“It’s not that easy especially when you were in love with him.” Steve pointed out, trying to sway you to give yourself more grace.

“I want to believe that he loved me as much as I did him, but I think that would mean I’d be lying to myself.” You admitted, shaking your head at yourself and looking down at your lap while you twiddled with your fingers.

“You don’t think he loved you?” He sought, bringing his hand towards your knee, rubbing comforting circles around it.

You shook your head, scoffing towards yourself, “I don’t even think I know what it feels like to be loved by a man in that sense. I don’t think he saw me or felt that way for me.”

“Why do you think that?”

You shrugged, thinking back to the contents of the letter, the swooping words that had been engrained into your mind like a cursed image you would forever be stuck seeing every time you closed your eyes.

“Because he never showed it, really. That letter… she said that he’d bring her flowers to the office, leave her favorite coffee on her desk with a little note, bring her an extra sandwich when she forgot her lunch…”

You rolled your eyes weakly, cursing in your mind knowing you were the one who made those sandwiches every night and packed them up for him to take, only to give it to the girl he was cheating on you with.

“It’s those little things that I never got. Those small details of the effort he never gave to me.” You pinched your fingers together, half hating that you were revisiting these feelings again and more so loathing that you were dumping it all on Steve.

He gave you a comforting look, nodding for you to go on knowing you had so much to say, and he’d stay here all night until you got it all out of your system. You bit on your lip, shaking your head as you tried to gathering what you’d been feeling.

“The worst part is, I—I feel like I gave him all the best parts of me, and I don’t think I’ll ever love like that again.” You sounded disappointed in yourself, like you had given up on your fairytale happy ending that you always wanted.

Steve’s face twisted, eyebrows pulled together, and a heavy frown playing on his lips.

“Don’t say that.” He scolded tenderly, hating that you amounted yourself to that.

“It’s true,” You laughed so sure of yourself, “I don’t think I have it in me to expect someone to love me the way I really want them to.” You threw your hands into your lap, turning to look out the window.

Steve couldn’t let you live with that thought in your head any longer. He didn’t know when you starting believing that, but he’d be damned if he let you think that your happiness was over just because one guy did you bad. If he could and if you would let him, you would realize that happily ever after was right in front of you the whole time.

Breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out.

“What if that someone already does?” Steve clutched your hands, pulling himself closer to you, knees knocking into each other.

Your eyes snapped back to his, staring at him puzzled by the sudden sanguine of his voice, “What?”

He squeezed your hand three times, taking a deep breath as he spoke it out loud once again — this time a little clearer in his phrasing, needing to get this right.

“What if there’s someone out there who doesn’t need to be taught how to love you because they already do?”

His voice was sure of himself, accompanied by a bit of nervousness that only you could decipher as him trying not to get tongue tied.

“What are you saying?” You looked between his eyes, searching for an answer yet only seeing a reflection of yourself clouding his irises.

“That I’m in love with you.” He blurted out without a moment's hesitation.

You stared at him motionless, not knowing if he meant it in the way you thought he did. For all you knew, he could have been referring to the friendship aspect of your relationship. You wanted to be in denial once more, knowing this couldn’t be what you thought it was.

“Steve…” you whispered, hand going slack against his, clearly taken aback.

He didn’t let you let him go, covering your intertwined hands with his free one. Your pulse was practically beating in his palms, the blood rushing through your body in a surge and your heart beating with a rapid thumpthumpthump. You could feel his hands shaking, his chest rising quicker with each second that passed with him trying to gather his words.

“I’m not just saying this. I mean it with everything inside of me.” He promised you, letting his hand release yours only to grip your wrist and bring them to his beating heart.

Despite it all — the nerves and everything that should have shut his body down — his heart stayed steady, beating in sync with yours. He gulped thickly, dropping your hands back to your lap as he stood and paced the small space between your coffee table and the couch.

“I—I’ve been in love with since I could remember you walking into Family Video and running into me and helping me pickup the tapes while you apologized profusely. I’ve known that I have loved you since forever, but I…I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you because I was terrified that you wouldn’t feel the same way.”

He halted in front of you, catching his breath hoping you were able to at least understand some of the contents of his ramble, not getting lost in it.

Your shoulders rose with a deep breath you took in. “Why didn’t just—”

“I tried! And I was going to!” He exclaimed swiftly, raking a hand through his hair and tugging in frustration towards himself, because he felt as if he could have prevented this — you getting hurt.

He slowly took his seat next to you, elbows resting on his knees as he focused his sights forward not knowing if he could bear to look into your eyes as he spilled the rest of what he had been keeping inside for so long.

“But after your first date with that idiot I wanted you to tell me that there was something wrong…that you didn’t like him at all. I was gonna swoop in and say that maybe I could make it up to you and finally take you out on a date, but I didn’t because turned out you actually liked him.”

Your heart stopped, chest rising and falling so slowly you thought you could faint. But how could you when Steve was still there confessing his undying love for you?

“I didn’t want to get in between the two of you because it wouldn’t be fair, no matter how much I feel inside for you. I didn’t want to rob you of what could’ve been between you and him.” He swallowed, hanging his head low.

You wished he had stolen your heart and never let it be tainted with the hands of someone who was only going to drop it and hurt you. You wished that he didn’t wait and had been so considerate to the other party, when in reality he was holding back because of you… because he wanted you to be happy even if it wasn’t with him.

“Y-you don’t understand how hard it’s been for me to watch you be treated like a second option, while I stand there and in my head you’ve always first. I…I don’t know why I waited so long to tell you. I’m sorry.” He said hoarsely, head lifting to glance at you where you faced him still reeling from it all.

“Don’t apologize, Steve.” You sighed, shaking your head and placing a soothing hand on his shoulder.

He wiggled under your palm, grunting to himself, “No I have to, because god, maybe I could’ve saved you from that piece of shit and what he did. If I would’ve just spoken up and told you that I’m in love with you sooner, things could have been different.”

Maybe he was right, that if he would have said something after that date, things wouldn’t have gotten this far. But perhaps it was fated, the way that it hurt so much at the time and how he thought he would have to spend his whole life getting over you knowing it was going to be impossible.

Break up, break free, break through, break down.

“Things can be different now.” You murmured, jaw trembling at the notion you just let out.

He sat up calmly, beaming into your eyes. “It can?”

You nodded assuringly, taking his hand, intertwining it with yours and giving it three squeezes knowing this was going to be a long road, but you were willing to take it with him.

“You know my number by heart. You come and water my plants when I’m staying late at work, and if I’m lucky, which most times I am, you leave me dinner in the fridge.” You told him, watching as a small smile spread across his face.

Steve did things that friends didn’t always usually do. He was the one who came over and changed your locks for you to save you the stress of not knowing when your ex would show up eventually and let himself in. He was the one who spent hours watching videos on how to do it himself, going back and forth from the hardware store to get everything he needed. He didn’t even let you help, shooing you off to lie in bed and get the rest you had been missing, all the while he made sure you were going to be okay.

He knew it wasn’t going to stop him from eventually coming back, but it was enough to at least give you a warning, something that you deserved after all of it.

“You know when I’m lying and instead of trying to pry me out of it you get me to talk about how I’m feeling.”

Steve was never accusatory when it came to you. He never wanted to shine the light on something you were trying to keep hidden in order to stop him from worrying about you — he knew you had the best of intentions. But he knew he should’ve been the least of your worries. He would stare at the ceiling with you, not saying too much or reading too deep into things, as he just wanted to help you let it all out — melancholy and all.

You took a deep breath, bringing your joined hands into your lap, shaking it mildly, “Y-you care about me so much so that you pick up every call before the second ring, and you…” pausing, you smiled up at him in awe, giving into the feelings and setting yourself free.

“You love me so much that you almost thought you lost the love of your life.”

Sitting eyes wide opened, Steve only had one thing stuck in his mind — you were the love of his life, the bullet that you never were, the thing that he didn’t dodge and even if you were, he’d let you pierce through his heart knowing at least it was you that got him at the end.

“W-what?” He buzzed, swinging his head, hoping he wasn’t reading you wrong.

“I’m falling in love with you, Steve.” You professed, eyes filled with sincerity and longing.

You pursed your lips, shaking your head at yourself, going on with your words.

“I don’t know why I didn’t realize it sooner, but I feel like I’ve loved you my whole life, and when I met him… a piece of me died because I wasn’t with who I was supposed to be with. Like I wasted all my love on him when you were right in front of me all along.”

It made perfect sense that every time you tried to search for something in his eyes you only saw yourself, not just in the reflection sense, but deeper than that. Past the irises and clouds of hazel, you could tell he was always looking at you, even in a room of faces that in his eyes were blurred into nothing when you were before him.

And like you, when Steve looked in your eyes he saw himself. The way that you would always find him in a crowd before anyone else. He was the first sight you wanted in your views and the last, if anything were to happen to you. Every time you met his, it felt like coming home, a sort of familiarity that even your apartment couldn’t sum up.

Steve shook his head at you, bringing his free hand up to your cheek.

“You didn’t waste all of it… I know you’ve got some left in you.”

You laughed lightly, leaning into his touch as you hummed. “For you, I do.”

“You can love again, let me show you that you can,” He promised, his voice never breaking, a vow that he was ready to make and destined to keep.

Like clockwork, his hands squeezed your three times, and you nodded, knowing he was with you on that road and he wasn’t going to leave you stranded. You could trust him… you always could.

His forefingers held your chin, your eyes fluttering shut, feeling his breath fan against your face.

Oh no, I’m falling in love again.

Your faces slotted into each other, leaning in closer and closer until you felt his lips on yours. Plush skin, brushing against your lips, moving gently together and there you were afraid that it wasn’t going to last… that this was too good to be true.

Oh no, I’m falling in love again

You felt the rise of the elevator, the takeoff on the runaway, the anticipation that settled in before you let it take you wherever it wanted. His hands cupped your cheeks, yours wrapping around his neck, the two of you not daring to leave each other just yet.

Oh, I’m falling in love

Your hearts were beating out of your chest’s, the thumps resounding in the air through your eardrums, letting it be the only thing you could hear. There was no crashing, no turbulence coming through to you — no need to brace yourself for an impact that wasn’t coming.

“I love you,” you whispered breathlessly against him, foreheads pressed together as you both opened your eyes and stared into each other.

“I knew you could.” He beamed, pulling you back to him as you giggled into another kiss that would be many of a lifetime.

You thought the plane was going down, but somehow Steve turned it right around — this time the love would last… just like that.

💌 reblogs, tags, comments, + likes are greatly appreciated! leave a comment and let me know if want to be added to my taglist!! 💌

a/n: this somehow turned into a 6k fic when it was supposed to be a small little blurb...oopsies!!! anyways, i hope you guys like this one -- i feel myself slowly coming out of my writers slump and it's been really nice and refreshing to get to write again without the pressure on my shoulders. labyrinth is also becoming one of my favorites off midnights, i just adore it so much and while it's not so lyric heavy, the production ties it all together. let me know what you guys think and isn't stevie a cutie patootie??!

taglist: @translatemunson @kennedy-brooke @manda-panda-monium @tvserie-s-world @givemeth @steveharringtonswife @the-alchemys @loving-and-dreaming @awkotaco24 @engenelxver @elfiaaaa @pbs-theundeadmaggot @johnricharddeacy @gaysludge @keerysfolklore @micheledawn1975 @ihatepeanutss @bakugouswh0r3

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letorip · 24 days

Text

casual [iii]

"i hate that i let this drag on so long, now i hate myself, hate that i let this drag on so long, you can go to hell"

===+++===

pairing: natalie scatorccio x reader

summary: you're not just going to let her go, this time. after long enough, you arrive at the very obvious conclusion that you're in love, and there's very little else to be done about that

warnings: mentions of sex, cuss words, a bit of angst but i promise a happy ending :)

word count: 7.2k

A/N: all good things must come to an end. trust, i'll write for nat again. also i stayed in that airport so fucking long it was like purgatory, and i'm so sorry it took longer than i thought, i've had an exhausting past two weeks and just needed to stop and breathe for a minute

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THAT ONE ANON I FEEL BAD I'M LATE

===+++===

"Please tell me you didn't do it on my sheets," Lottie groaned, lip curled in disgust and eyes hidden by her sunglasses.

"Sorry," you said back from behind your own pair, without looking away from the crystal blue of her pool water. You both were splayed out on her sun-bleached deck chairs, with matching hangovers (and bathrobes) that made the bright, beaming sunlight a whole new level of awful.

Her house was in disarray around you both, with crushed beer cans and overturned chairs all across the pool deck. Some cigarette butts floated in the water and you were certain the sprinklers in her garden were misting a pile of vomit and washing it down the front of her lawn, but neither of you made a move to get up and deal with it yet.

At the far end of the Matthews' pool, there was a statue of a mermaid that doubled as a fountain, spitting water in a gentle stream. Someone had put a snapback that said 'I <3 BOOBIES' on her and a bit of lipstick around the area that water shot out, and though usually you would have laughed, you instead were a bit annoyed by how it was taking you out of what would've been a nice scene.

There was just something about waking up and seeing Nat had gone without any sort of indication, that sparked the sudden urge within you to reconnect with nature. So you were reconnecting— more like brooding— on Lottie's pool deck in a peaceful silence.

After what felt like thirty minutes but was probably more like five, she turned to you. "Do you wanna—”

“—Talk about it?” you finished, raising your eyebrows. You shook your head. “No.”

She pouted. “I was gonna ask if you wanted to make pancakes.”

“Oh… then yes.”

You both lazily trudged into her equally wrecked kitchen, with even more cans and spilled liquids thrown over her marble counters. There was a burnt bag of popcorn sitting in the sink and the garbage can underneath it was overflowing with paper towels, but Lottie's kitchen was big enough where you could ignore it entirely, jumping up to sit on the clean countertop near her massive range cooker.

When Lottie said 'make pancakes,' she really meant she would be the one cooking and you would be there for moral support, if anything. You were gifted in many things but cooking or anything of the sort had never been one of them. Instead you leaned your head against the massive stone hood, and watched her from the pair of sunglasses you still wore.

Nat had laughed at you, when you said you didn't know how to cook. Not an omelette, not mac and cheese, and barely a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Of course, you assumed the last one wouldn't be hard to figure out, but you hadn't ever made one before, and it made her laugh into your chest, where her head had been resting. It hurt a bit now, but you had the sunglasses to shield your eyes while you stared off into space.

"Chocolate chips?" Lottie asked, running a hand through her dark hair and combing out a few knots with her fingers. You nodded, and she turned back to the pan in front of her, grabbing a fancy looking bag from a stack of supplies nearby. "My dad brought fresh chocolate back with him from when he was in the Caribbean a few weeks ago," she said to you, sprinkling it into the pan and flipping it over.

"Is he going to be pissed you're using it for pancakes?" you mumbled, feeling your headache return.

"No more pissed than he'll be when he sees that Jeff and his friends cut off the leg on one of his horse-shaped hedges." You winced, hopping down from the counter and feeling your back still scraped raw from, well, Nat. Lottie shot you a look. "That heated, huh?"

You rolled your eyes, heading towards the kitchen island and grabbing some of the beer cans to toss in the rubbish. "She's made her decision clear. I'm honestly done with it. I don't care anymore."

Lottie didn't say anything, turning back to the pancakes and sliding them on a plate as you slid into the barstool at the other end of her island and rested your head on your elbows. "I mean, she called me selfish, Lottie, and then said she loved me multiple times, minutes later. Who the hell does that?"

"Mhm," she hummed, sticking her spatula and the pan in the sink and then moving to the walk in pantry to grab syrup and powdered sugar.

You watched her go, calling after her. "She disappears for days after she gets mad about me talking to people, and then I see her immediately with Bobby Farleigh of all people, and they're cuddling up! I'm done with it all."

"Okay," Lottie said, reappearing with her arms full and tossing them down on the kitchen island. She clambered up into the seat next to you and stole some of the plain ones for herself, before covering them in syrup.

"And," you continued, remembering something else as you began cutting up the pancakes and smothering them in powdered sugar, "she egged my fucking house! How could I even forget about that? I mean, what was I thinking? I don't want to talk about her."

"Oh yeah," Lottie snorted. "You really don't want to talk about her."

You shot her a glare, stuffing your mouth with an angry fork. "I'm serious, Lottie."

"You wish," she scoffed. "If you were serious— and I'm not trying to be mean— but if you were serious, you wouldn't be ranting all about her. I know you keep saying it's impossible and it can't happen with her, but you sure as hell seem like you want it to happen with her."

You frowned, taking a forkful and stuffing it into your mouth. Right as you did, a couple sheepishly walked down the hall and towards the front door, clothes obviously messed up. They sent you an awkward wave and Lottie gave a quick nod in their direction, turning back to her plate. "Then why'd she leave?" you asked, when the door was shut behind them.

She shrugged. "Why the hell would I know? If anyone here would be the Natalie-whisperer, it would be you."

"Yeah well, apparently not," you huffed, shoving more pancakes into your mouth.

"I mean, it's not like you guys were on glowing terms before you... y'know. Wasn't gonna magically all be fixed, after." You groaned, leaning your forehead down onto the cool marble countertops. It actually felt nice, against your raging headache, but you still felt like crap.

"Would've at least been nice for her to wait until I woke up to go. No 'goodbye,' no 'we should talk,' nothing. When we were just hooking up and stuff, I at least always waited to say goodbye."

"So it's not just hooking up, anymore?"

"I don’t know what it is, Lottie. You tell me, because apparently everyone knows but me." She shrugged, finishing her plate and pushing it away from herself.

"I have an answer, but you're not gonna like it."

"...No, I'm not in love with her."

"You absolutely are."

"I'm done with this!"

"You keep saying that."

"'Cause I am."

"Okay."

"I'm done," you frowned, attempting finality in your tone and coming far short.

"Right," she snorted, and then she stood to grab your now-finished plate too. "Can you help me?”

It took around three hours, to get the Matthews house back to its usual formality. You sprayed burnt and disturbed bushes with the hose, threw out bag upon bag of party rubbish, and vacuumed cigarette butts off the carpet of her living room, silently working while Lottie played some records on her grandfather's old gramophone.

Her dad usually put jazz records on it or snooty classical music, whenever you were over, but Lottie had Dancing Queen blasting throughout her house and was hopping around as she snatched stuff off the mantle and shoved it into bags, turning to you and yelling a lyric from time to time, along to the music.

This wasn't your idea of fun by a long shot, but you could appreciate Lottie trying to make it fun.

"So, how much convincing did you have to do, to get Laura Lee here at a party? I mean, with the alcohol," you asked with a snort, grabbing an almost empty bag of crisps and tossing yourself down in her father's leather armchair to finish them off.

Lottie flushed. "A really embarrassing amount," she admitted. "I kind of glazed over that part."

"I'll bet she was surprised?" you asked with an amused crunch.

"It wasn't even that— this guy from my third period started going at it with this girl right in front her. I had to literally stop her from going over there to talk to them about waiting until marriage."

You shrugged. "I mean, she seems to like you a whole lot."

"She does," Lottie nodded. "She's so sweet to me, and she has the best hand to hold, like, ever."

"Honestly, I'm surprised, but happy for you. You're in a big ol' throuple with Jesus Christ."

"Ha ha," Lottie rolled her eyes, sticking her tongue out at you. "At least whatever we have is holy. I don't even want to think about you and—"

But whatever dig she would've said was cut off by her doorbell ringing. You sighed, letting your feet down from where you had propped them up on the side table and wiping the crumbs on your bathrobe.

"I'll get it," you grumbled, leaving Lottie to clean. When you opened the door there was absolutely no way you could've prepared to see her so soon.

Nat stood awkwardly in the entryway, looking just as surprised to see you as you were to see her. She wore a pair of blue shorts she practiced and slept in, and staring right back at you was the shirt you thought had gone missing weeks ago, barely hidden behind the ratty zip up hoodie she had over it.

Her eyeliner was still smudged from the night before in places, and you stared at her blankly, waiting for her to say something— anything, really.

"I forgot my damn lighter," she said, casting her eyes to the floor after a moment.

"Oh," you replied, feeling a bit stupid suddenly, in your bathrobe and sunglasses, with your flip flops for shoes. You looked like you were mid-spa day, or like someone's drunk uncle on a cruise. Then, before you could stop yourself, you felt an annoyance twinge in your gut, and said "Is that all you've got to say?"

Her eyes shot up, looking challengingly at you, in what was a clear frustration. "What do you want me to say?" But the answer went unsaid, even as much as you didn't like it. That you came back for me.

"I don't know..."

"Great," Nat scoffed. She looked over your shoulder into Lottie's house, as if her lighter would appear behind you and jump right into her hand, and she would just be able to leave. "Can I just have my—"

"—Why did you egg my house?" you shot back, crossing your arms over your chest, trying to block the door a bit more. She raised her eyebrows at you, confused.

"What?"

"You egged my house, after our argument," you repeated, slower, feeling the tips of your ears burning.

"No the hell I didn't."

"Yes the hell you did," you argued back, leaning forward with your hands on your hips. "You're the only one with the gate code. I get it, you were mad, but—"

"—Fucking Christ, I didn't!"

"You wrote a giant 'fuck you' on my house. No one else would."

Nat glared. "I didn't invent it. Is it such an impossible thing for you to consider that maybe not everyone is Team (Y/n)? I don't mean to break your brain, but for once somebody might actually dislike you."

You rolled your eyes. "You're the only one with a history of breaking rules and doing shit."

"So, what, you think I would do that to you?"

"Maybe you would. Maybe you don't care about me at all. That's why you ran off, wasn't it?"

She narrowed her eyes at you. "I had to go, before my dad caught me out."

You shook your head. "Bullshit. You've stayed out, before."

"Oh, so now you're mad that I'm not cuddling up to you?"

"That's not cuddling, that's having me stick my fingers in you and then you run off. You were pissed at me a few days before, Nat, for literally the same thing."

"It's almost like it's confusing, (Y/n), when you get mixed signals. And no, I got pissed at you because you went shopping for girlfriends— which, I'm assuming because you're being an oblivious, self-righteous asshole, you're still doing."

"Yep, still looking," you glared at her. She glared right back, just as steely.

"Great."

"Great," you replied. It was annoying, how good she looked when she was frustrated. She was great at looking mad, and even better at looking good when she was mad. The furrowing of her eyebrows, wrinkling of her nose in anger; she had the face you wanted to kiss away. It was impossible not to wonder, if doing so would uncurl her fists and smooth out the lines on her forehead.

Then you stopped. Holy shit. Everything seemed awful, like a massive case of vertigo had just washed over you. You had had hangovers before, but this somehow seemed infinitely worse. See, a thought had finally self-realised itself within your little peanut brain.

I'm in love with Nat.

It made the ceiling feel like the floor, and Nat sent you a concerned glance and seemed about to question your change in expression, when Lottie came from behind you.

"Hey, Nat," she said with an awkward smile, brushing past you with a look and then handing her the lighter quickly. "Excited for nationals?”

"Yeah," Nat nodded, but her eyes were still glaring at you. She cleared her throat, finally looking off. "Thanks, Lot. Great party."

"Mhm," Lottie nodded, trying her best to seem at ease and not at all like she was walking in on a code-red situation. "Have a great weekend! Bye now! Get home safe! See you!" She rushed, tugging you from beyond the doorway and giving a wave, before shutting the door.

The moment the door was closed, she gave you an unappreciative stare, but your eyes were wide and your cheeks flushed.

"What?" asked Lottie, her eyebrows furrowed with concern.

"I...I think I'm in love with her."

===+++===

Your home was just as empty as it was when you had left the night before. Reginald wasn't even due to come in, since your mother and father weren't home and it was a Saturday. Even the groundskeeper and maid had the day off, and the groan you let out at finally returning home and falling onto the warm rug on your living room floor echoed against the walls of your empty house.

In your hand was the letter you found in your mailbox. A cool black and Princeton-orange colour. You already knew what it said, without even looking into it. Your father and mother went there. His father and mother, too. For years and years and years. And now, if you followed the rules set out in front of you, you too.

It was impossible not to wonder, when the fog of privilege would slowly cloud your brain. Would it be the law degree from a private school, or legacy admissions? The more frightening thing was that maybe Nat was right: it had already set in, and you unaware. You at least felt different than the rest of them. That made you different, right? You and Lottie?

The image of Nat seemed ever-prevalent. Glowering at you, like she had been in the doorway. In your shirt. With that frown. The frown that you wanted to kiss away, but would never be able to. A Scatorccio, of all people. Of all people, you had to be in love with the one person you couldn't have.

It felt simultaneously like life had resolved into something more clear and understandable, and something more depressing and doomed. You wanted to forget the realisation, and the acceptance as well. Maybe it was truly better when you were promising your friends that you felt nothing of the sort.

Your eyes flitted from where they stared at the ceiling over to the giant brown bookcase in the corner, stacked high with thick volumes of what your dad had once said were family records, but you had never grabbed one off yourself. The one that stuck out against the brown leather-bound books was a more sleek, grey memoir with your grandfather’s name printed onto the hard cover casing.

That one you had read— your father had made you read it, when you were fourteen, and your parents gave up on trying for another kid. It wasn’t as dreadfully boring as you thought it would be, but it was still a memoir about a stuffy stockbroker from the 80s, with all the parts involving cocaine conveniently edited out, but not your grandfather’s insane escapades with women.

Your father was in the process of writing his own edition, and had thereby implied that he expected you to write one for yourself. You didn't know what you could possibly write about, but then again there was the expectation you write about it anyway. You weren't a guy on Wall Street, you weren't an international businessperson. You didn't even know what you were going to school for, yet.

Next to the bookshelf in equal intimidation was a painting of your family that your father had commissioned years ago. It was back when you still had braces and acne, but thankfully the artist had removed both. You hadn't been allowed to smile for it, though that's what child-you thought you did for pictures. Instead, you and your parents' mouths were drawn into disapproving lines and hardened expressions, and the golden plaque at the bottom wore your surname in proud, powerful letters.

You sighed, sitting up onto the palms of your hands and then standing slowly, still a bit uncoordinated. You sent the painting a final glance before you wandered to the phone, grabbing the thing and checking your watch while you did it. You slumped down into the seat at the end of your dining room table, where your father usually sat, and pulled the antenna from the top, punching in the numbers absentmindedly as you stared out the window onto the garden and the pool.

The number was for your father's Monaco residence, and you waited with a jumping knee and wry expression while it rang. Eventually, though, your mother picked up. "Hello?"

"Hello, mother."

(Y/n), darling, is something wrong? You know to call Reginald first, in case of emer—"

"—No, nothing is wrong, mother. Look, I actually wanted to ask you a question."

"Well, go on then. We're about to go out to dinner."

"...Mother, do you have Julie Roosevelt's number?"

Silence on the end of the line. "Absolutely!" You didn't need to be there with her to hear the smile in her voice. "What for?"

You swallowed. "I think I'll try to take her out tonight."

"Well! Darling, that's just wonderful!" You nodded into the receiver, not like she could see it. "Make sure to wear your nice shirt, we don't want to upset the Roosevelts! I hope you know, I'm proud of you for this, really." You almost mentioned getting accepted into Princeton. Almost. But you decided not to mention it. It wasn't like you wanted to think about it anyways.

From the far wall, you could see the painting of the woman with the blue eyes staring at you.

===+++===

The local mini golf was always busy, but Saturdays were absolutely the busiest. There were couples upon couples who had the exact same idea, and were wandering around with their hands together and beaming at one another like they were living in a rom-com in the real life.

And yet you stood there with your hand in Julie Roosevelt's, and a massive frown on your face. It wasn't one that you'd let Julie see— every time she glanced in your direction, you'd quickly replace it with your best smile, showing her your teeth— but it was one that you knew you wore when she turned away.

"Sorry about the late notice," you said. You dropped her hand and went to grab a putter from the front, handing it to her and then grabbing one for yourself.

"It's okay, I was wondering if you were ever going to talk to me again," Julie laughed, a bit awkward. You winced. It's not like you could be honest, and say that you didn't intend to. The truth was, that while Julie was a bit shallow, she was also a bit too nice to deserve this one-sided thing.

Of course, there was the hope that you grew the love your mother spoke of. Maybe it would hit you, and alleviate you from Nat, who seemed to haunt your thoughts even more now, that you were aware she had captured your heart.

"I was just busy, this past week," you shrugged. "It's kind of a big deal for the Yellowjackets, and both of the teams are practicing and stuff...so."

"Wow. I guess you really like the Yellowjackets then, huh?"

"Uh...something like that, yeah. It's a big deal." She hummed, then took her things out onto the first green.

You let her go, standing behind her and watching with a grin and the scorecard in your pocket. Mini golf was something you took pride in being good at. But, then, of course, Julie let the ball drop, took a second, and gently hit the ball around the bend with a near perfect curve, and right into the hole.

"Yay!" she cheered, jumping up and down in celebration.

"Wha—"

Julie put her hands on her hips with a teasing grin. "Captain of the golf team, remember?" You hadn't.

"Right..."

You played a terrible game, for the most part. You stood at the end of the second-to-last hole with the scorecard in your hand and a whole bunch of big numbers on your side of the table. Julie was beaming from ear to ear, though you weren't exactly sure why.

It had been pretty much silent, with the two of you failing over and over again to find an interesting thing to talk about. It wasn't the calm, pleasant silence like it was with... well, it didn't matter now. You filled in a four, two shots over the par, and made your way over to where Julie was crouching down, to get a better view of the final hole.

"Actually wait, there's a special way you have to play this one," you called out to her, and she turned to you with a puzzled expression.

"What do you mean?"

"It's kind of local tradition here," you shrugged. You weren't even sure if that was true, you just knew that it was what Nat had called it, when she taught you. "You have to swing really, really hard, and to win, you've gotta get it over the fence," you pointed, "and right into the back of that neighbourhood."

She blinked at you for a moment, and then Julie frowned, looking down to the ground. "That's mean, though. What if you hit someone's house? Or a window?"

"Bonus points," you shrugged. "I don't know, you can't really see where they go, once they're over the fence. It's fun."

Julie raised her eyebrows. "Don't you think it's a little immature? Why would I do that if I'm going to win for real?"

You opened your mouth to reply, then firmly closed it. "I guess you're right," you mumbled. It hadn't felt stupid when you suggested it, but Julie's disdain at the suggestion made you feel improper.

She did win, by a massive landslide, and you let her keep the scorecard with little protest. She was still beaming though, brightly at you like she had just had the best date of her life. Your stomach felt like it was tied up in a bunch of knots, but you smiled back at her nonetheless.

If love was something to be worked towards, you really hoped it would start working soon.

===+++===

You had only been home for about twenty minutes, when your phone started ringing. Off the hook. Over and over again. You knew who it was just from the ring, but that didn't mean you wanted to pick up.

After the disaster that was dropping Julie off at her house, you wanted to continue to staring at the ceiling. But after the sixth call back, it seemed Jackie wasn't giving up.

You picked the phone up with a frown, rolling over and smushing your chin into the bed. "Hello—"

"—OH MY GOD, YOU AND JULIE?!"

You groaned. "Jackie I dropped her off like thirty minutes ago, how do you already know about this?"

"So it's true?! You're dating?"

You sat up. "What? No, we just went on one date."

"Really? Cause Julie told Margie who told Randy who told Jeff, who told me that you kissed her and you're going out!"

You pinched the bridge of your nose. "I didn't kiss her, she kissed me. And it wasn't even like an actual kiss, she like, pecked me, and then scrambled out of my car and up her driveway."

"Well, she's saying you're going steady."

"'Going steady?' The 40s called, they wanted their slang back."

"Ha ha," Jackie said back, and you could hear the eye roll. She went silent. "...I bet your mom is happy."

"Probably..."

"Are you happy? You're probably a shoe-in for prom court, especially since I'll be out of town. Your mom won't let you go to nationals, will she?"

"No. She'll want me and Julie to go to prom together."

"Well, I mean, at least you'll win, right? That's gotta be exciting?"

You looked over to your nightstand, where you had a polaroid of you and Nat that sat taped to the side. "Thrilled."

"(Y/n)? You okay, hubby?"

You took a sharp swallow. "Yeah, I'm fine. Julie's great."

"Right...," she paused again, "does Nat...does she know?"

"I don't think so... It's only been like, thirty minutes."

"She will soon, though. Monday."

"Yeah...I guess she will soon."

===+++===

Monday was terrible. It seemed Julie had taken the awkward attempt at kissing you as the sign that you were together. She was there at your car when you first arrived, grinning again while you and Lottie got your things for school out of the second row. Then, the moment you had locked your car, you were tugged along by a hand grabbing yours.

You didn't exactly have a good reason to be grossed out. Julie was beautiful, and if you had felt the same way for her, you would have been thrilled with the enthusiasm. Hell, if it were... well. So, you mostly let her drag you wherever she wanted.

There was about a week, to run for prom court. Your mother had promptly called you that morning to insist on prom, and insist on shopping for prom, when she returned home on Wednesday, from Monaco. It was all Julie would talk about, and you were starting to wonder how much of this was a political move for her too, rather than one of genuine interest in you.

You first saw Nat coming down one of the halls, and you hesitated a bit the moment you saw that she noticed you. Or, that she noticed you and Julie together. It was the walk of shame, frankly. You didn't belong to her, in any formal sense. But your heart did, and that was enough for it to hurt. Badly.

It seemed to hurt her too. She immediately frowned, tugging on Kevyn's sleeve and walking in the opposite direction. You wanted to run after her, but Julie had an iron grip on your hand and a smile so bright.

It was awkward enough at lunch, with Julie insisting to sit next to you and to bring her golf friends. A few of them were nice, and Jackie managed to chat them up well enough to make even more friends than before, but Lottie had a frown the entire time, and Shauna looked less than happy.

Nat wasn't staring at you at lunch anymore. It was a startling realisation, that you wanted her to be looking at you. If anything, you were looking more at her. You kept turning around, trying to seem like you were just scanning the cafeteria, but Nat was firmly looking down at her food, at the same table as always.

You felt like a runaway dog that had temporarily shrugged off its collar, trying to find home with a tail between its legs. Julie was nice, and smart, and talented. But she wasn't the one. Your one.

===+++===

"Hey, you ready?" you asked Lottie, finding her out in the hallway in front of the locker rooms. it was Friday, and you both had your soccer bags slung over your shoulder, and were about to head out to practice, but Lottie seemed transfixed on a poster on the wall. "Hey now, you've got nationals tomorrow, no distractions," you tried.

"Is she seriously trying to make it seem like you two are soulmates?" Lottie said with a grimace. It was one of the ones Julie had made in two days, and was now putting all over the school to really earn you both the win. There was a drawing of you and her on it, with a heart in the middle, and 'VOTE JULIE & (Y/N) FOR PROM COURT 1996.' It was an objectively good design, but Lottie didn't like Julie very much— or at least had started to hate her, the longer you and her were together.

"I think it's because she has a crush on you," Julie said once with a pout, after Lottie had been less than welcoming to her on a ride home.

"No she doesn't," you shook your head.

"She definitely does. You shouldn't hang out with her as much, or people will think you and her are a thing. I mean, I did at first."

The whole conversation had only made Lottie more and more annoyed with her, and that was saying a lot, with how Lottie was usually nice to most people.

"Come on," you said, gesturing with your head out towards the pitch. "Last practice before nationals."

Lottie still had a frown on her face, but she followed you out there with her arms crossed. It was still relatively early, only a few people were out. Coach Martinez's son Travis was up in the bleachers, watching, while you could see Trevor and Misty talking next to the water cooler and Jeremy and Mari passing a ball back and forth to each other.

"Hey (Y/n)," a voice called from behind you, and you could feel a similar annoyance to Lottie's washing over you. You turned to see Carter Avery, back from his suspension, with a cheeky smirk on his face. "Miss me?"

"Not even close," you scowled. He brushed past you and Lottie, pausing for a moment when he was directly in front of you staring down in an attempt at intimidation. He kept walking though, until he paused, right at the edge of the pitch.

"Oh, and (Y/n)?"

"What."

"I think I need to borrow some eggs. You got any for me?" Your eyes widened. "What about toilet paper, then?"

It was intended to create anger in you. You knew he wanted you to charge at him or something, or to scowl, but all you did was stand there, in a stunned silence. You had thought that Nat would do that. That Nat could do that to you. Of course it wasn't Nat. You felt stupid and you felt guilty, and you felt even worse that you couldn't do much about either of those things. You could try, though. And maybe that would be enough.

Lottie sent you a knowing look, but all you wanted to do was curl up into a ball and die. Maybe you could try to talk to her, after practice? It was a long shot, but it was worth a try.

The Yellowjackets' moods were infectious, and it was impossible to not have a great time, at that practice. Their emotions were high, along with their excitement, and you started to feel a little bit better, the more you ran and the more you felt the wind in your hair.

Of course, that's when everything decided to go wrong. A single slide tackle from Taissa, right into Allie's leg, and everyone was panicking and yelling. You could see the bone sticking out from it, and Misty was bolting in your direction, hovering over her and attempting to right it.

"Can I get two people to carry her?" She shouted at both teams, and you immediately raised your hand, stepping forwards while Allie began to cry. You didn't even see who was grabbing her other arm until you had made it into the locker room, and Allie was still crying with Misty following behind and a very clueless looking Coach Ben behind her.

You should've known, it was her. She was selfless like that, even though she'd rather die than admit it herself. And yet, there Nat was, on the other side of Allie, laying her down on one of the locker room benches and raising her leg up. Misty ushered you both out into the hall, and suddenly both you and Nat were regretting volunteering.

You had to wait until she came out, so you would be able to carry her to the front, where the ambulance could arrive to take her to hospital, but until then it just meant you and Nat were forced to stand there in awkward silence.

It stayed that way, until you tried to speak. "So...nationals, hu—"

"Don't even," Nat snapped, shutting you up. She was twitching a little bit, in discomfort, and you knew right now that if it were outside, or if she were to have her bag, she would be pulling out a cigarette.

"...I know it wasn't you who egged my house. It was Carter... I'm...sorry."

"Real genius, aren't you."

"Allegedly. Not in practice, apparently," you admitted, sliding to the tiled floor in wait. She eyed you cautiously, but did the same, sliding down.

"Man, if I had a nickel, for every time we've been in this hallway with a serious injury... I'd have, what, two nickels?" You hummed, leaning your head back against the wall.

"That's not a lot," Nat said, rolling her eyes.

"No," you nodded in agreement, "but it's weird that it happened twice."

She thought for a minute, then shrugged. "I guess." You both could hear the whistle being blown outside, to end the final scrimmage and indicate that it was time to circle up.

"Don't you want to go hear that? Y'know, for tomorrow?"

Nat shook her head. "I'd rather be here for Allie. Though she's kind of an asshole."

You snorted. "She's a total fucking bitch."

"...Just so you know, I really did have to leave, after Lottie's party... I, uh, kissed your forehead, before I left... I guess you couldn't feel it though. You were asleep."

You shook your head. "I didn't know that..."

"...Yeah... my dad was being an asshole... it was a whole thing." You knew it hurt more than she was saying, right now, and you so desperately wanted to scoot closer, like you would've before things had gotten so messed up. Back when you were on the cusp of happiness.

"I'm sorry, Nat."

She shrugged again, like it didn't hurt, but you knew all too well. "For what?"

You would've said for being scared. For being weak. For not realising sooner. Anything. But instead you were interrupted by the sound of shoes on the tile.

Of course, there Julie had to be. She took a single look at Nat who was covered in sweat and a bit red from practice, and grimaced, before coming up to you and standing right over you, expectantly.

"Is practice over?" she asked, checking her watch. "I finished my club meeting. We have to go dress shopping— I want you there to colour match— and I need you to drop Margie off at her house, cause I said you would yesterday."

You blinked. "I mean... It kind of is? I should probably stay a bit—" you looked to Nat to see what she would say, but she was already standing up and walking off, taking the not so secret hint that Julie was telling her to get lost.

Julie watched her go, scowling behind her back and then spinning to you the moment the door clicked shut behind her. "What did she want with you?" she asked.

"We were just talking, Allie needed help."

"Well she's no good. She's one of those kids, y'know." You narrowed your eyes, getting up to your feet and wiping your hands on your shorts.

"What are you talking about?"

Julie tilted her head to the side, like she was confused by your confusion. "You must not have a lot of them, around here, but we had them all OVER, in Massachusetts. The town bicycles. Everyone wants a ride, if you know what I mean."

It was your turn to cross your arms. "No the hell I do not, Julie."

"Oh come on," she said, throwing up her hands. "She's trailer trash, at best. The delusional kind who thinks we'd look at her, like, ever. I mean, what's her body count, like over a hundred?"

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about," you snapped at her, glowering.

"Okay, I know she's on the Yellowjackets, and she's clearly trying to get in your pants, but cmon. I'm your girlfriend, we can laugh about this kind of—"

"No, the hell you aren't. You're not my girlfriend, Julie, and you barely ever fucking were. That girl you just insulted is the best fucking person I know. She's selfless, she's kind, she makes me laugh—"

"Well then go sleep with her then!" Julie yelled, stomping her foot.

"Y'know what, I already have! And I fucking love her. So there!" And you turned right around and stomped back out onto the pitch.

===+++===

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” you rolled your eyes, trudging down the stairs and calling out into the foyer. It wasn’t like whoever it was would actually be able to hear you, through the thickness of your door, if anything it was more to air your grievance with having to get up so fucking late. Your mom was once more distraught, now that you had kept the "perfect" girl for a single week and then promptly dumped her. Another vacation was in order.

Rain was still pounding on the roof from above, and it filled the emptiness of your house with a faint white noise, that was immediately shattered by the person pressing the button again. You rolled your eyes, deciding to walk even slower to the door out of nothing but spite.

When you actually opened the door, though, you had to blink a couple times, seeing a figure retreating already, down your drive. However long you had took had made them rethink why they were here, and you would've been all too happy to let the door close. That was, until you narrowed your eyes into the rain, just barely making out the shape of a familiar leather jacket.

"Nat?" You called into the storm, loud enough that there was no way she couldn't have heard you. You crossed your arms, thinking about how she had been earlier that day. "I know it's you, Natalie. Why the fuck are you here? You have nationals tomorrow."

She stopped in her tracks, just standing in it. She gently turned, shoulders rising and falling and it was clear she was breathing heavily. Her mascara was running in massive streaks down her face and dripping in small, grey droplets, and her eyes were sensitive and red, as if she had been crying and rubbed them raw. You swallowed what felt like a lump in your throat.

"This— all of this, with you— I— I can't," she stumbled, looking like a sad, wet dog in the rain.

"What?" you furrowed your eyebrows at her, walking out further onto your large, covered doorstep.

"I can't see you with her, (Y/n), I— I just can't."

"With Julie?"

Natalie threw up her arms in frustration. "Yes, Julie. I know she's perfect, or whatever, but— I— you can't be with her—"

"—Nat," you tried, stepping forward again.

"—Because I love you," she continued. You stopped in your tracks. It felt as if the air had been sucked right out of your lungs, even in the freshness brought by the storm. "I know we argue," her voice shook, "and I know we fight, and I know I smoke, and I curse, and I get bad grades, and my dad's a shithead, and I'm kind of an asshole sometimes— but I fucking love you, (Y/n). You.... I—"

"—Shut up," you said, shaking your head and rushing forward, out into the pouring storm. You collided with her, cupping her face in your cheeks and kissing her like the world would end in ten minutes. It would have, if you hadn't done it, and you had no idea how you had survived so long without doing it.

You kissed her once, and then you kissed her again, and then, when she was crying harder, and you were crying too, and she was holding onto your arms like you would fall away, you kissed her forehead, and held her tight in a hug.

"I'm selfish, and I'm a mess, and I'm never good enough for my stupid fucking parents," you said, over the rain and just for Nat, "and I don't realise that I hurt people 'cause that's not what my family does, and for that, I'm really, really fucking sorry."

She nodded in her tears, looking up at you as you both got rained on together. "But, I agree," you said, voice shaking, "we're not casual. I'm really, really fucking sorry, but I also really, really fucking love you, Nat. And I'm sorry I was too scared and too stupid, and," you raised your voice, as if to the sky, "I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING GO TO PRINCETON—" this time it was Nat who shut you up.

It was another kiss, but it was far more gentle than the first. It was a gentle press, and it took your breath away. When you pulled apart, you let your forehead fall against Natalie's. Even though the droplets were cold, you felt so warm.

After what felt like forever, but still wasn't long enough, Nat murmured to you, "should we go inside?" She still smelled like cigarettes and her perfume, just as she had in her trailer, and you intended to let the scent linger.

You shook your head. "Just stay out here a little longer with me. Please? Just let time pass."

She nodded, then smirked as she looked past you at the car on your driveway. "Fuckin' rich people."

===+++===

AAAAAND THAT'S CASUAL BABYYYYY! Finished at like 2 am. anyways, i'm tired and a little bit sleepy

#nat scatorccio x you #nat scatorccio x reader #natalie scatorccio #natalie scatorccio x y/n #natalie scatorccio x reader #nat scatorccio #yellowjackets

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