#i do like taylor kind of... sometimes..... it's complicated !!

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

like on the one hand language matters and i too sometimes find slang trends annoying and/or concerning and on the other hand sometimes women do actually make jokes and talk shit on the internet with their friends and it is not actually that deep and commentary on phenomena gets to a weird point where i’m like i don’t know how “these idiot losers on the internet using a two to four word phrase they will have moved on from in a year are basically the primary cause of patriarchal oppression” is the feminist take. like sometimes i start to think the plot has been lost.

[inkskinned]

it isn't really complicated, but i still can't tell my grandma about it. my girlfriend is also my boyfriend and i'm her girlboyfriend and there are a lot of days this feels like smoothing sheets over a good mattress. it feels like getting a cup of good hot chocolate. we paint our nails lesbian flag pink, and i watch her eyelashes make shadows on her cheeks. she wants to kiss me because i am really good at baking, and i want to kiss her because when i am freaked out about how i spilled coffee, she just hands me extra napkins and helps me clean. he is so handsome i want to eat my fist. they once just winked at me and i couldn't talk for like the next fifteen minutes.

i haven't seen the L word and i was raised catholic. my earliest experiences with queer relationships were through harrowing conversations and hushed questions and blood on the ground. i didn't like boys soon enough. what, are you gay? asked to a 6th grader, almost like a demand.

when she is asleep next to me and i can feel the dreams run up and down her body, i pretend we are both somewhere in the stars. i like to picture a future full of fruit trees, and writing him poetry. sometimes she wakes up, has a whole conversation with me, goes back to sleep, and utterly forgets that we ever even spoke. she is always kind to me, even in that liminal half-there ghost. i like the croaked, raw way her voice sounds in the very-early morning, the way she always seems surprised i'm still here, and home.

on the internet, there are a lot of people who would be annoyed by both of us, and how labels must be pruned into orchids. a box has to hold and define the insides. people must be organized.

we went on a date last night, and the host said, oh, table for 2 nice ladies? neither of us are ladies, but also we are very much 2 nice ladies. i have been wearing her sweater nonstop. he has frequently been forced into wearing my taylor swift official merch quarter-zip because i was worried about him catching a chill, and you simply cannot be cool in an official taylor swift quarter-zip. do not worry: they listen to better music than i do, and their voice sounds like leaves falling.

i wear the skirts and makeup and i am better with spackle and know how to drive stick. recently someone commented on my work - you're just a man trying to reappropriate lesbian spaces. sometimes i feel like she is a clementine to me, and sometimes i feel like he is a german shepherd and sometimes i feel they are a bird. i like watching his hands over a guitar. can i write this poem, even? how can you be a lesbian if you're sometimes with a man? or you are the man?

how can i, huh. you know, our first date lasted 3 days. we'd been flirting for over a year before i finally asked her out. i'd already written her into poetry. she'd already written me into songs.

last night, in the late night, when they woke up again, confused about where they were, they said - oh, thank god. this is your arm. there's just something so precious to me about the specifics, the denotation that the arm was (thank god!) mine. i really liked that definition. i liked the obvious relief because i understand it.

i say yeah, i have a partner. i mean - oh. thank god. it's your arm.

[louismygf]

2022 spotify wrapped !

[icypenguin]

Can I also request a poly sbg x reader who likes cooking for them? (Specifically Korean and Taiwanese food) and they also like calling her mom?

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚 Mom of the Group! ᥫ᭡. ˚⋆

cw: drooling over food, being called ‘mom’, that’s all i guess?

a/n: HII THANKYOU FOR REQUESTING AGAINNN! sorry this one took much longer than the previous one T-T but either way, i hope you’ll like this! and sorry if the foods are not what you expected and really sorry if it’s spelled wrong!

note: reader doesn’t really have any pronounce or gender but is called mom!

divider credits: @drifting-moon @chachachannah

in every kind of way you are, adding your careful personality, you’re always known as a person or a friend who likes to take care of eachother. the fact that you’re a sociable person, not mentioning how you’re a pretty good cooker, makes it even better. since (almost) all of the person in the gang are stubborn and only focuses on the phantom realm, barely taking care of themselves, you, who ARE LOWKEY DONE OF THEIR DEPRESSING ATTITUDE decided to.. try and take things more careful.

“ah, i tried making some meatball dumplings as the starter. for the main i made jjajangmyeon with the side of kimchi and mozzarella corn! aaand- logan helped me while making this ice mango and sago. please dig in everyone!” foods were laid on the table with a glam presentation. anyone who sees it could immediately drool as their appetite will boost.

aiden and taylor were practically drooling as they stared into the food with shining eyes. while ashlyn, tyler, ben and logan tried to hold their drool and act from being so hungry. i mean, who could you blame when you’ve all been stuck in a phantom realm for days and haven’t got any… gorgeous food (other than that delicious sandwich that ashlyn’s parents made).

“thankyou y/n!” “mmm looks delicious..” “best day of my life for real!” “smells amazing..” all whispers of appreciations were heard until.. “thankyou for making these mom!” the word mom came out of nowhere as aiden blurted it out unconsciously. “oops-“ he soon realised what he just said as the table went quiet, but the sound of your laugh came trailing. “no worries, it’s fine totally! i guess i do act like your mom sometimes..” everyone got some jjajangmyeon with either kimchi or corn with mozzarella and meatball dumplings.

everytime you all succeed a mission, whether in the phantom realm or real world, you always make them special food, mostly taiwanese and korean, for a feast.

though, sometimes, when everyone’s having a rough day at school, you’d make them some treats.

“ughh.. have you guys done that 50 math questions? it’s literally due by tomorrow…” aiden slumped on the cafeteria table, following ashlyn who’s already burried her face in her crossed arms. “literally forgot ‘bout those..” tyler rested his head on his hand while ben wrote something on his notebook, “i haven’t touched my math book since monday”. seeing what ben has written, taylor answered, “relatable” as she faceslaped herself. while logan, “i don’t think i’ll survive if i do all of them today..” he continued eating his lunch.

“i don’t even understand or know what’s it about…” you looked at them, trying to remember what you’ve learned. “i know right… ughh..” taylor closed her eyes as she tried to calm her mind down. but the busy background noise made it seem impossible.

the others were groaning or sighing about how complicated all of these were when you pulled out a fancy container. hearing the zip from your bag and somehting being placed on the table made aiden perked up to see what is it.

“ooh, what’s that y/n?” he looked closely while the others started to gain their focus on it. “well.. since it’s been bad lately.. i decided to make us some tteok and songpyeom.. my mom used to make these for me when i was younger. and it instantly lit up my day” you smiled, remembering the memories you’ve made.

“oooh! sounds yummy” everyone looked into the container as you opened it. “here, have some! i made sure all of us would get atleast 3” you passed the container to everyone as they chose which one they’d like.

“mmmm! i think the songpyeom fits my taste more” taylor hummed as she ate the snack. “same here” answered ashlyn, sounding grateful that you’ve made this for all of them. “i’m more to the savoury so tteok is better for me” logan pulled his opinion out as ben nodded, agreeing logan. “well- i think i’d have to agree with logan” tyler continued eating his tteok peacefully.

you were grateful that they all loved the foods you made. aiden shot a playful grin before saying, “well.. i think it’s understandable if we call you mom now! ehhe” hearing that made you laugh “well.. i don’t really mind either-“ “it totally suits you y/n!” taylor continued eating the snacks you made as aiden spammed “mom mom mom mom mom” in the background noise, earning a shhh from the group after a while.

you don’t always make them food, you’ve made them tea when you all were training too.

you all were panting from the rough and tiring practice you’ve had with ashlyn’s parents. all of you definitely needed something to boost your energy. you scrambled through your bag to find a thermos and small plastic cups (omg your efforts bruh) for all of you to take atleast a sip.

“look at what i brought, everyone!” you called for their attention as they all perked up at your direction. “what’s for today, mom?” taylor joked before chuckling. “well.. i made us some alishan tea who could accelerate metabolism” you smiled while pouring some in each cup. “oooh! that’s cool!” aiden stared at you pouring in the tea. “i think i’ve heard of it before somewhere..” ashlyn mumbled, secretly excited to taste it.

soon, you handed each cups for everyone to take. “thankyou y/n!” all of them answered. each of them took a sip of the tea and clearly most of them liked it. you let out a relieved breath as soon as you see their expression turned into happy and not disgust. “sooo.. how is it?” you asked in curiosity. “it’s naturally sweet, cool!” “yummy, mom” “just like my taste” they all answered differently but none of them answered negatively. you were happy how they all liked them.

“it’s amazing, thanks mom” ashlyn answered too. but when she did, her mom was walking towards your direction and was a bit shocked when she heard it. soon, ashlyn noticed her mom coming by and realised what she just said. “w-wait it’s not like that-! she’s just acting like our mom in the group but that doesn’t mean i’m replacing you-“ she explained, hurriedly. scared that her mom will think of something else.

but her mom only chuckled as she calmed ashlyn down. “i get it don’t worry.. i was just messing around!” she hugged ashlyn to reassure her.

you’re glad that this ‘mom’ thing doesn’t make any trouble. you’re actually happy of it. i guess being the mom of the group isn’t so bad after all, huh?

♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ. thankyou for supporting! ୨♡୧

[leclercsainzz]

RIGHT PERSON, WRONG TIME

— 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: not much, just a small series collection of taylor swift’s songs with the formula one drivers

or

in which they say that timing is everything when it comes to love, and that sometimes the right person can come into your life at the wrong time

➝ f1 drivers

→ → → → → → → → → → → → →

i. 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐂 - red

— “losing him was blue, like i’d never known … missing him was dark gray, all alone … forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met, but loving him was red”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: as time passed and they went their separate ways, the intensity of that love faded into a dull ache of longing and regret

ii. 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐒 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐙 - champagne problems

— “she would’ve made such a lovely bride, what a shame she’s fucked in the head”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: in the end, she couldn’t bring herself to say “yes” to his proposal

iii. 𝐌𝐀𝐗 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐍 - the way i loved you

— “you were wild and crazy … just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated got away by some mistake”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: despite knowing the fact that they aren’t good for each other, they can’t help but want each other

iv. 𝐋𝐄𝐖𝐈𝐒 𝐇𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐓𝐎𝐍 - cardigan

— “i knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: in which memories of their time together come flooding back, making it hard to fully move on

v. 𝐆𝐄𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐄 𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐋 - my tears ricochet

— “and you’re tossing out blame, drunk on this pain crossing out the good years”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: in which his bitterness and resentment erase the moments of happiness they once shared

vi. 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐄𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐎 - i don’t want to live forever

— “i’m sitting eyes wide open and i got one thing stuck in my mind, wondering if i dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: in which she might’ve dodged a bullet, but he certainly lost the love of his life

vii. 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐒 - i bet you think about me

— “i bet you think about me when you’re out at your cool indie music concerts every week”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: they’re over, but that doesn’t stop him from thinking about her every now and then

viii. 𝐎𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑 𝐏𝐈𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈 - you’re losing me

— “my heart won’t start anymore for you ‘cause you’re losing me”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: in which she’s slowly falling out of love

ix. 𝐏𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐄 𝐆𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐘 - mr. perfectly fine

— “how’s your heart after breakin’ mine?”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: despite being the one who ended things, he’s more heartbroken than she is

x. 𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐁𝐀𝐍 𝐎𝐂𝐎𝐍 - the great war

— “i vowed not to fight anymore if we survived the great war”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: many of them did not survive the great war of heartbreak, and unfortunately, they were among those who did not make it through”

xi. 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐋 - exile

— “all this time, i never learned to read your mind … i couldn’t turn things around”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: “he was so focused on his own feelings and needs that he failed to notice the subtle hints she was trying to send

xii. 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐗 𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐎𝐍 - right where you left me

— “you left me no choice but to stay here forever”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: in which she’s still at the restaurant

xiii. 𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐀𝐍 𝐒𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐓 - happiness

— “no one teaches you what to do when a good man hurts you and you know you hurt him too”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: in which they both deeply hurt each other

xiv. 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑 - better man

— “push my love away like it was some kind of loaded gun”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: she’d been hurt many times before and didn’t want to risk getting hurt again, so she pushed his love away and caused more heartbreak

xv. 𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐌 𝐋𝐀𝐖𝐒𝐎𝐍 - bigger than the whole sky

— “what could’ve been, would’ve been, what should’ve been”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: what could’ve, would’ve, or should’ve been the one for her, but sometimes things don’t work out as you hope

xvi. 𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐎 - sad beautiful tragic

— “distance, timing, breakdowns, fighting … silence, the train runs off its tracks”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: maybe it was the distance that kept them apart, or the timing that always seemed to be off

author’s note: helloooo! so i decided to start a new series:) i got inspired by some of @love-belle series of the drivers, so make sure to check her page out:))

i’ll still be posting request that you guys have sent in … if you have sent requests, don’t worry i’ll get to them eventually 😊

[anameistoohard]

Hello! We thought it might be good to have a pinned post so y'all can know a bit about us.

I guess start with the obvious thanks to that title: We are a we.

The bit less obvious: We are one person :p We learned we were a system in September 2022. There's a bunch of us in here but not everyone fronts. The ones that do often have a lot of identity confusion/blendyness so we don't usually specify who's speaking. If you don't know, you can refer to us by the body's name, Taylor, and the pronouns we us irl, she/her.

We are also a trans woman: Or at least... the body is? It's complicated. The majority of us are girls/strongly fem leaning but we have some guys and enbies in here too. We started hrt in October 2021 so we were already a year into it when we learned about our system. After a lot of questioning we came to the consensus that we should continue hrt. The guys are willing to put up with it and overall we are quite happy with the changes.

Autism and dyslexia: These make our writing a bit stilted/disjointed sounding sometimes. The two of them combined can make socializing online exhausting, trying to figure out what to say and how to say it (anxiety is no help either). If we don't respond right away, or at all, just know we're sorry 💜

Art! The reason you're probably here lol: We create art in just about the most inefficient way possible, in ms Paint, where there are no layers, you can only rotate in 90° intervals, and if you try to resize a picture it becomes a blurry pixilated mess. And we do so without a drawing tablet. When we make pixel art we're manually placing squares one at a time. But there's something kind of soothing about this slow monotonous inefficiency. We mostly do pixel art, but sometimes we make comics, or just whatever we feel like making.

If you have any questions, this is an open invitation to ask: Curiosity is a good thing! Don't worry if you're using the "wrong" language or you think something might be too personal, as long as you're respectful and kind, feel free to ask us anything about us/our experiences/our art. If we don't want to answer we don't have to, so there's no harm in asking. Just please don't turn to us for links/resources, we're not good at keeping track of that kind of stuff.

Written by Mark (they/them), Danny (he/him), and Taylor (she/her)

(Edit: I guess we should mention we have a twitter too)

[effloradox]

I love Taylor swift and twilight! Ur blog is perfection 💜! Do you mind doing more jasper fan fics!

thank you so much, you're so sweet 🥺

Jasper doesn't like to talk about his past. Conversions about his history are reserved for late night whispers, when it's just the two of you in the safe haven of your room. It's not something you hold against him, you can't judge him for something he did over a hundred years ago in bad faith, but you know he feels resentment for the person he used to be. You know how much he struggles with controlling his thirst, and it’s still not the easiest thing for you to deal with.

The problem with introducing a human into a house full of vampires is that it had the potentially to go fatally wrong. Control is something that all your coven take very seriously, it's the only way you can continue to exist amongst humans after all. Everyone knows that it's you and Jasper that have the hardest time controlling yourselves around blood, it’s not exactly a secret. It never fails to astound you the sheer amount of control that Carlisle exhibits on a daily basis in his job. You're getting better with controlling your urges, and you haven't relapsed for a while but introducing a clumsy human into the house felt like a disaster waiting to happen.

In a way you blame Edward. Your emotions towards your adoptive brother are complicated even on a good day, but the idea of him bringing his human girlfriend into the house for her birthday felt like a terrible idea from the offset. Part of you had hoped Alice would have some dramatic vision that would mean you could call the whole thing off but all she'd seen was an admittedly nice vision of Bella blowing out the candles on her birthday cake surrounded by all of you.

It seemed Edward had forgotten how unbelievably accident prone his new girlfriend was though. An unforgivable oversight on his part, one you'll definitely be calling him out on later. You'd turned your back on the birthday girl for a second, just to look over to where Alice and Esme were putting the finishing touches on the cake when you'd smelt it. The acrid coppery smell of blood hit your nose instantly and every fibre of your being is drawn towards it like a forbidden siren call. Your sisters had moved to your side in an instant, only partially caging you against the kitchen counter you'd been leaning on. It's hard trying to centre yourself and not give into the urges, and it's only what's taking place on the other side of the kitchen that really brings you back to yourself.

Jasper is looking much worse for wear. His senses have honed in on Bella and all of you can tell he's only seconds away from pouncing. Emmett and Edward have their arms around him in an instant, stopping him from beelining towards the injured human but it's clear he's putting up enough of a fight that they'll struggle to restrain him for a long time. You're in front of him in the time it takes Bella to blink, your hands cupping his face gently to keep his eyes on you. Edward had pushed her towards the wall as soon as he'd heard Jasper's thoughts so she's not as close as she was, meaning she only hears fragments of what you're saying to him.

"Hey, hey, Jas it's okay. It's okay. It's just a little blood. Look at me, it's okay yeah?" Your words seem to be having some effect but Bella notes that Emmett and Edward still haven't let Jasper out of their grip. Carlisle appears by her side and she's vaguely aware that he's speaking to her but her eyes are still trained on you and Jasper. Your words seem to be having some kind of effect on him and it sends a small pang through her chest that you have the ability to calm Jasper down even in the face of the strongest temptation when Edward sometime can’t even look at her as a result of his urges.

Her eyes are still trained on the two of you as Esme leads her out of the room to go and find the first aid kit. The last thing she sees is Edward and Emmett letting Jasper go as he collapses in your arms almost bonelessly. His arms wrap around your waist as his head rests on your shoulder, giving you ample chance to press a chaste kiss to the crown of his head.

[stefanmikaleson1864]

Toy Story

Requested by @dkdueo 

Evan Buckley x girl reader

The readers a firefighter at station 118 an best friends with everyone especially really close with Eddie and Christopher an Buck goes to leave to meet up with Taylor on a date an before he leaves he overhears Eddie “oh come on you just need to tell Buck how you feel,you would be better together then him and Taylor I didn’t tell him but there’s just something about that relationship that’s just off,also I have a extra shirt downtown would you mind spending the night with Christopher?“

The reader just responding “oh just shut up,he’s in love with her and they are happy what kinda person would that make me ruining that,an you know I would always watch Christopher that was stupid I love him maybe even just as much as you to the point you ain’t getting him back” joking around picking up Chris smiling running to the car while Christopher is laughing 

A/N: If you like my work please comment like and reblog it means a lot to see interactions on my work ! 

Y/N”S POV 

Being a firefighter had a lot of perks. Not only did you get to save lives but you also got to gain a family along the way. You originally weren’t from LA so you always felt a little alone. But then all that changed when you joined the 118. 

Everyone welcomed you with open arms. You were the last one to join the group so you were a little intimated.

 But they made you feel like you belonged from the moment you walked through the doors. 

You became really close with Eddie and his son Chris. You spent all your time off with them and would always take Chris out to do fun things. You guys really bonded and you felt like you meant something to someone. 

Buck was always there too and it was hard not to get feelings for the blonde. He was a second dad to Chris.

 You would sometimes catch yourself daydreaming about having your own family with him. 

The two of you also had a lot in common. You loved the same music, the same tv shows. He always made you laugh even when he wasn’t meaning to. 

You could relate also to the family situation that he had. Being away from home and having a complicated relationship with your parents. 

It’s also the reason why you left home to. To be able to start a new life for yourself. 

You thought about asking him out so many times but it just never seemed like the right moment. Either the bells went off or Chris would come in. You took this as a sign that it just wasn’t supposed to happen between the two of you. 

If you needed another sign that maybe it wasn’t supposed to be when he started dating Taylor

. You never really liked her and not just because Buck was head over heels in love with her. She always gave you the worst vibes. She always seemed like she had some kind of hidden agenda. 

Eddie agreed with you but you thought he was just agreeing with you because he was your friend. 

He kept trying to convince you that the two of you belonged together but you didn’t believe it. 

You guys were wrapping up your shift. It was long and all you wanted to do was go home and kick back and eat pizza. Chris had coming up running to you breaking you out of your thoughts. 

“Y/N hey I missed you” Chris said grabbing you in a big hug. 

“Hey bud I missed you to what are you doing here” You asked 

“Carla dropped me off she had somewhere to go so she dropped me off to have dad take me home are you coming over tonight” Chris asked. 

“Yeah Y/N come on over Chris really misses you ” Eddie said 

“I don’t guys i’m tired maybe i should just go home besides I took all my clothes home to wash already so I don’t even have anything” You said smiling up at them. 

“Listen we all know why your being a little sad it’s pretty obvious” Eddie said looking over at Buck and Taylor who were laughing with each other. 

“It’s not about them besides I’m happy for them. They both seem really happy together” You said glancing over at them. 

““oh come on you just need to tell Buck how you feel,you would be better together then him and Taylor I didn’t tell him but there’s just something about that relationship that’s just off,also I have a extra shirt downtown would you mind spending the night with Christopher?“ Eddie said. 

He slapped me in the arm hard and I looked up and pouted at him 

““oh just shut up,he’s in love with her and they are happy what kinda person would that make me ruining that,an you know I would always watch Christopher that was stupid I love him maybe even just as much as you to the point you ain’t getting him back” Y/N said 

The two of you ran off to your car after leaving Eddie behind in the dust. Maybe you did need this. Eddie was right that you were just upset over Buck. But you weren’t going to admit that to him. 

Buck’s POV

Taylor texted me she was coming over to the firehouse. I mean was I happy to see her of course but also I didn’t want her coming around here.

 I mean I just didn’t want Y/N to see her. Not that Y/N was mean or anything I know I’m rambling but the whole thing is really complicated. 

I was maybe In love with Y/N which I know is wrong to say because I’m in a relationship and were just friends.

 But i never thought she would see me the same way. I always also though she had something going on with Eddie. 

The two of them always seemed close. She was going over his house all the time. I mean I couldn’t compete with all that. 

When I meant Taylor it was just fun and casual. Then things started to become more serious between the two of us. I really did like her but it just wasn’t the same kind of love I had for Y/N. 

I could always tell that no one else in the firehouse really liked her. I mean part of it hurt because it was the person I was dating but then on the other hand. I knew why they had those kinds of feelings for her. 

Taylor did always take advantage of situations sometimes when she saw a good story. It was a constant reason why we were always fighting. 

Eddie and Y/n were sitting by the fire truck laughing and talking to each other and I wanted to go and join but I didn’t think it was a good idea. I just decided to wait off to the sides. I didn’t want to interrupt whatever was going over there anyways. 

I pulled out my phone and started going through social media hoping to just kill some time. 

“Hey you what are you doing” Taylor asked coming up and tapping me on my elbow. 

“Nothing just waiting on you are you ready to go” I asked putting my phone in my pocket. 

We started walking towards my car and I passed Eddie and Y/N Talking to each other.

 “oh come on you just need to tell Buck how you feel,you would be better together then him and Taylor I didn’t tell him but there’s just something about that relationship that’s just off,also I have a extra shirt downtown would you mind spending the night with Christopher?“ Eddie said 

“oh just shut up,he’s in love with her and they are happy what kinda person would that make me ruining that,an you know I would always watch Christopher that was stupid I love him maybe even just as much as you to the point you ain’t getting him back” Y/N said. 

When i heard her say that it felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest it was beating so fast.

 I cracked a smile also thinking that Y/N was also in love with me. That her and Eddie weren’t together like I thought. 

I wanted to go and confront her before she took off but that didn’t seem like the best move. 

Also I didn’t want to say anything just incase she changed her mind. But I also felt like I needed to go and say something. 

It just felt like my head was spinning and I didn’t know what to say or think. That I didn’t want to screw up and besides it seemed like an invasion of their privacy listening in on their conversation. 

I snapped out of my thoughts before I ended up thinking to hard about this and bursting a blood vessel or something.

 Me and Taylor got into my truck and then i took off into the direction of my apartment. 

“Your being quiet” Taylor said. 

“Yeah sorry just a long day at work” I said 

“I get that I’m here if you wanna talk about it” Taylor said 

“Thanks” I said letting the conversation fall. 

LA Traffic was awful so we reached my apartment about 45 minutes later. We both got out and made our way upstairs. 

When we got in I just dropped my stuff down and went and flopped on the couch. 

Taylor came and sat next to me and looked up and smiled. 

“So what’s the plans for tonight because I don’t feel like just sitting in the apartment I wanna go and do something” She said.

“I know I get that and honestly I’m really tired and would rather just do some take out and watch some movies” I told her. 

“That’s what we did the last time we hung out” Taylor said pouting. 

“I know and I’m sorry but work was a lot and I’m just tired” I said sitting up to look at her. 

“Look is there something else going on” Taylor said 

“No what makes you thinks that It’s just we had a lot of calls and I’m not in the mood to go out and get drunk or party” I said being honest with her. 

“Fine but I’m going out I’ll text you okay” Taylor said 

“Yeah okay” I said not in the mood to fight. 

This whole thing even before the conversation I heard earlier this whole relationship just felt like it was running on it’s last leg. 

I got a buzz on my phone and groaned but then picked it up to see who it was. 

It was from Y/N and I smiled and picked it up my mood shifting to see it was her. 

It was a pic and I opened it up to see her and chris smiling into the camera. She sent another text saying. 

“Eddie’s out on a date and Chris wants to see his uncle buck want to come over for Pizza and Movies” She asked 

I quickly texted her back

“Hell Yeah I’m on my way” I sent her back. 

“We can’t wait to see you !” Y/N said back

I grabbed my stuff and ran out there. Eddie’s house wasn’t that far. I was smiling ear to ear heading over to them. 

When I got there I ran out the Jeep and went up to his front door knocking on it. Chris was the one who answered it. He looked up and smiled at me. 

“Uncle Buck is here” He shouted. 

Y/N walked to the door in Eddie’s T-Shirt and sweatpants. She smiled real big when she saw me. 

“Thanks for coming you got here quick” She said 

“Yeah I was in the area and came right over” I said 

“Come on Pizza is on the way were picking out a movie” Chris said. 

“Awesome because I am starving” I said. 

We walked in and made our way to the couch. I kicked off my shoe and took of my jacket and headed over to the couch. 

“So what’s on the list” I asked 

“Were stuck between Toy story and a marvel movie” Y/N said. 

“Well me personally Toy story is a classic we can’t beat that” I said 

Chris laughed and i looked at him confused 

“That’s what Y/N said” Chris said. 

“Because it is a classic a true timeless original” Y/N said. 

“And 2 out 3 wins so I’ll just go ahead and put it on” Y/n said.

She took the remote and put it on. Chris groaned a little but we both just laughed him off. A little bit into the movie the pizza came. 

“Pizza’s here Yay” Chris yelled 

“I got it” Y/N said getting up

“I’m glad you came and it was Y/N”s idea to invite you over she was thinking about you” Chris said laughing 

“Well I’m glad because I didn’t want to be alone tonight” I said smiling.

I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks from the mention that Y/N wanted to see me. 

A few minutes later she came back and put down pizza’s and sodas and a bunch of other stuff to. 

“Were having a feast tonight” Y/N said 

“ I can see that look at all this” I said 

“It’s friday night we need to party” She said. 

I laughed and we all dug into the food. It was really good. She had gotten pizza ,wings ,fries and mozzarella sticks. We all ate good until we thought we were going to burst. We finished the movie too. 

Chris fell asleep not to long after eating so it was just me and Y/N finishing the movie. It was really nice just to sit back and enjoy each other presence. 

When the movie ended she looked over at me and smiled. 

“Hey will you help me take him to his bed” She said 

“Of course” I said getting up and picking up Chris and carrying him to his room. Y/N followed behind me and I laid Chris down on his bed and tucked him in.

“Good night buddy” I said to him

“Good night love see you in the morning sweet dreams” She said to him.

We turned out the lights and quietly headed out. 

We made our way back into the living room and I helped her clean up the dinner mess.

“Thanks for coming by It really means a lot I hope I didn’t mess anything up for you” Y/N said 

“Oh absolutely not I wasn’t doing anything I’m glad you invited me over” I said 

I decided to speak up and shoot my shot. It seemed like a good time now and I didn’t want to not say anything and just loose the chance. 

“ I heard your uh conversation earlier with Eddie” I said 

“Oh I’m sorry I didn’t want to mess anything up with you guys im sorry” Y/N said her face turning bright red. 

“No it’s okay I’m not bringing this up because I’m mad in anyway i’m saying it because I want you to know I love you I have for a while now and I didn’t think i stood a chance” I said playing with my hands nervously. 

Y?N walked over and grabbed my hands and looked up at me and smiled

“You always stood a chance with me. I love you to I have been in love with you for a while but you were with Taylor and I didn’t think i had a chance you know” She said.

“Maybe we both should have just talked to each other” I said laughing

“When did you grow up” Y/N said smiling. 

“Well as a I get older I do get a little wiser” I said 

“Oh yeah well in your case that might not be true at all” She said poking me 

“Ouch that kinda hurt my feelings” I said pouting 

“Oh just shut up and kiss me already” Y/N said. 

“Yes Mam’am” I said 

I leaned down and kissed her and she kissed me back.It was short and sweet. But it really meant a lot. 

We broke the kiss and we just looked into each others eyes and smiled before pulling away. 

“What about taylor” Y/N asked 

“That relationship is over I’ll talk to her in the morning I promise” I said 

“Good because I wanna start this off right the last thing we need is that bad karma out there in the world” She said 

“ I agree” I told her leaning down and kissing her again. 

Suddenly the door opened up and I heard someone loudly clearing their throat. 

“I’m gone out one night and I come home to this in my own home” Eddie said a little loud

“First off all stop being dramatic it could be a lot worse second off shh man Chris is sleeping” Y/N said

“Yeah yeah what ever I’m going to bed good night little love birds” Eddie said stumbling into his room. 

“That man is clearly drunk but also i’m glad he had fun” she said laughing

“He’s gonna regret that in the morning” I said laughing. 

“You want to watch Toy Story 2 and eat more cold pizza” Y/N said. 

“I would love that let me go grab the spare blankets and pillows” I said 

“I am going to get us some drinks” Y/n said 

I went off and grabbed some stuff from the closet and Eddie was passed out on the bed in his clothes. I just laughed and took a pic of him. 

I went back to the living room and Y/n was setting up the movie for us. I sat down and passed out the blanket and pillows.

We got comfortable and we started on the second movie. She leaned her head on me. I smiled down at her. 

I was so glad I came over and glad I opened up. We ended up both falling asleep after that movie. I was glad I decided to come over here tonight and be with my family.

[bananaofswifts]

BY RACHEL SONIS

It came to her in a dream (an embarrassing one, at that), Taylor Swift recalled about the origin of her song, “All You Had To Do Was Stay.” On the cusp of her ascent into stratospheric superstardom with the release of her fifth studio album 1989 in 2014, Swift explained to TIME that in the dream, her ex had come to her front door to get her back, and all she could say back was a high-pitched “Stay.”

“It was almost operatic,” Swift said. “I woke up from the dream, saying the weird part into my phone, figuring I had to include it in something because it was just too strange not to. In pop, it’s fun to play around with little weird noises like that.”

It’s how some of our greatest pop songs have come about: making music out of the weird or the strange. That's why it is all the more surprising that “All You Had To Do Was Stay” has never gotten its due. With the release of Swift’s rerecording of 1989 bringing Taylor’s version of the song, nine years after the original, the time has come to reassess the long underappreciated track.

There’s a science, of course, behind “All You Had To Do Was Stay” and its placement on 1989. The song falls into what Swifties call the “Track Five” factor. If you look at Swift’s albums, the story goes, the fifth track of each one is the saddest and most cathartic of the project—and typically best captures its mood and message. On Fearless, it was “White Horse.” On Speak Now, it was “Dear John” and on Red, “All Too Well.” The list goes on, and for the release of her seventh studio album Lover (with “The Archer” as track five), Swift acknowledged the clear pattern.

Contrary to popular opinion, this is also true of “All You Had To Do Was Stay.” It’s one of the saddest songs in Swift’s discography, but it’s created in a way that feels foreign to those who have been following her music since she cried tears on her guitar. In fact, it’s worth asking if it’s a strategic move for the self-proclaimed “mastermind” of subtext.

Saying so long to the country darling we once knew, 1989 marked Swift’s entry squarely into the pop arena. We heard inklings of this in Red two years prior, but this time, the shift in sound was unmistakable: Swift was charting a path toward a kind of pop stardom where her music was going to become ubiquitous and permeable—heard in your bedroom, your mom’s car, or even on the dance floor.

In many ways, this album was meant to be a light-hearted pop forward soundtrack to Swift’s life. “Shake It Off” and “Blank Space” were devil-may-care responses to the media circus and Swift’s romantic throes while “Welcome to New York” was a gleeful proclamation of young adulthood and finding one’s footing in a world that is electric and full of possibility. Even the most pointed of songs, “Bad Blood,” still feels coy and playful. But as any Swiftie knows, you can never have fun without the pain. And that’s where “All You Had To Do Was Stay” plays its critical role.

Perhaps that’s part of the brilliance of 1989, but also of Swift’s mastery. Behind the pulsing synths, drum pads, and processed backing vocals, lyrically, the story she’s trying to tell is just as vulnerable, relatable, and cutting. “People like you always want back the love they pushed aside. But people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye”—a line that lands with a sinister calm before an explosive “stay!” carries us into the chorus. There, with brutal honesty, Swift battles how complicated breakups can be: how you might hate someone and still want them back. How people inflict their deepest wounds on each other despite their best intentions. And how you can dance through the sadness and feel release—from that person and sometimes, even, from yourself.

Catharsis comes in many forms and from places where you’d least expect. Sometimes it’s tender and quiet. But it can also be loud and raise hell. With “All You Had To Do Was Stay,” Swift made clear that catharsis in the form of the latter was OK—that loudness and spectacle is OK. The song’s drama, sharp storytelling, and dreamlike quality are unmistakably Swiftian. At the same time, it shows the beauty of how pop music works: How weird and crazy sounds and your most embarrassing stories and dreams can be operatic and accessible. If only you give yourself enough room to lean into it and dance.

[yeollie-plz]

All Too Well

Preoutbreak! Joel x F! Reader

Synopsis: You met Joel your junior year of college. You had been so focused on your schooling until that fateful night. You were so young, so naïve. He was only a year older but it felt like he knew it all.

Genre: angst! so so angsty its insane

Warnings: break up, fighting, kissing, Y/N insert, pregnancy, labor and contractions, death, drinking (also underage drinking), drunk people, mentions of virginity and losing it, mentions of sex but no sex scenes, hospitals, doctor talk and mentions of medical complications, funerals

Gif credits to owners!

A/N: So I don't usually like song based fanfics but I had an idea and I ran with it. Tbh after I wrote it, I fell in love with it, hopefully you do too! Also! It is obviously the ten minute Taylor's version!

Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze

It was right before your 21st birthday, you had been dragged by your friend Layla to a party at some sorority house. You didn't want to be there, but she insisted.

So now you were standing in the kitchen with a beer you hadn't even sipped and no Layla in sight. Your only company was the people that would stumble in to fill their cups and not utter a word. That was until Joel walked in. He had this air to him, he was calm and collected, and you could tell there was a kindness in his eyes.

He noticed you almost immediately and started a conversation. He told you how his brother dragged him here and you marveled at the sameness of your situations.

You two talked the whole night, neither one of you drinking. It comforted you that he was also sober.

It was almost one in the morning when Layla found you again. She was clearly wasted and you rolled your eyes.

"I should probably take her home." You told Joel.

Grabbing Layla to help her walk, you made your way out of the kitchen. Before you could leave he lightly grabbed your arm.

"Wait, can I get your number? I wanted to know if maybe we could get some coffee sometime?" You stared at him with shock. You had enjoyed the conversation but you didn't know he felt that way.

"Uh, yeah sure." You quickly grabbed a pen and random receipt from your bag. Jotting your number on it, you handed it to Joel with a smile.

He returned the smile and helped you and your friend to the car. You watched him in your rearview as you drove off, smiling to yourself.

'Cause there we are again on that little town street

You almost ran the red 'cause you were lookin' over at me

Wind in my hair, I was there

A few months and a few dates later, you and Joel had become official. You had never felt more like yourself. It was crazy to say a man had done that to you but you couldn't deny the facts. Even your school work had improved!

Your favorite nights were the nights you and Joel would just drive around. The two of you would drive around the town, every time you hit a red light he would look over at you with those soft eyes of his.

You did a lot of driving and he did a lot of staring. You would drive around and just talk about anything and everything. It was so simple, yet so perfect.

You taught me 'bout your past thinkin' your future was me

He told you everything about himself on those drives. How he grew up, his life with his family, even about his petty little fights with Tommy when they were younger.

It made you happy that he trusted you with every part of him. So, you told him all about you in return. You wanted all of him and gave all you back.

And I was thinkin' on the drive down: Any time now

He's gonna say it's love

You never called it what it was

You don't know when it happened but one day you woke and realized you were in love with Joel.

You wanted to scream out into the universe how much you loved this man. But it never felt like the right time.

A part of you wanted him to say it first. But no matter how many times he stared at you with those eyes, he never did.

'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night

We're dancin' 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light

Down the stairs, I was there

You were taking a nap at Joel's house one day when you were awoken to the sound of music downstairs. It was an old song you didn't recognize. Following the sound through the house, you found Joel gliding around the linoleum of the kitchen. You let out a laugh which stopped him in his tracks.

He met your eyes with that look, the look that made you melt. The look you knew all too well. He offered his hand to you. Gladly, you took it. You two danced for the rest of the song.

He pulled you close as it faded away, ghosting a kiss on your lips. That was the night he took your virginity. There was no good reason you had waited, you just had. But it felt right to lose it to him. He felt right.

And there we are again when nobody had to know

You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath

Sacred prayer and we'd swear

It became the norm, you two would drive around and talk and end up at his place between the sheets. It never made you feel dirty, it made you feel loved.

But it was the lack of actual dates or him being uninterested in hanging out with your friends that made you start to pull away.

It wasn't until one night when Tommy stopped by unannounced to Joel's and he didn't even know who you were. You drove home crying that night.

Joel found you the next day with flowers in his hands, apologizing over and over again. He made an excuse of not wanting Tommy to know about his private life and how he hadn't found the right time.

He swore he told Tommy everything that night and how he would get the three of you together soon. You took him at his word and you two ended up in the sheets once again.

Except this time it felt different.

Well, maybe we got lost in translation

Maybe I asked for too much

But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up

Runnin' scared, I was there

You decided you weren't going to just be compliant anymore. You were human and you needed, no you deserved more!

You brought it up one night and it became a huge fight. Screaming and crying, you two broke up.

You hadn't seen or talked to him for two months until those blue lines showed up on the pregnancy test.

And you called me up again just to break me like a promise

So casually cruel in the name of bein' honest

You called him after crying all night. He needed to know that you were pregnant with his child.

Joel almost let it go to voicemail, but he finally answered. But when he did, he wouldn't even let you speak. He just muttered an, "I'm busy." and hung up.

You cried all night for the second night in a row.

But then he watched me watch the front door all night

Willin' you to come

And he said: It's supposed to be fun turning 21

A week later and it was your 21st birthday. You decided to spend it with your parents since you knew if you spent it was Layla she would force you to drink. With your newly found condition, that was not possible.

All day and night you stayed in your room, not even wanting to eat. All you wanted to do was tell Joel. You hadn't even told your parents yet.

You wanted to keep the baby but you couldn't do it alone. At least you didn't want to do it alone.

It wasn't until your dad came to your room to try and coax you out, that you finally broke down and told them everything.

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it

I'd like to be my old self again

But I'm still tryin' to find it

After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own

A few more months went by and you were starting to show. You hadn't tried to make anymore attempts to contact Joel in a while. You decided to focus on yourself and the life you were growing inside of you. Whom, you found out at your last scan, was a girl.

You were out on night with Layla when you saw Tommy out on a date with some girl. Neither him nor Joel would've found out if it weren't for that night.

He saw you instantly and made his way over. He casually stroke up conversation, it felt more like a formality than anything.

You nervously swiped your hand across the table, knocking your fork to the floor. All eyes fell upon it.

"Oh, don't worry I'll get it." Tommy said as he knelt down.

As his hands gripped your fallen fork, his gaze began to move upward to your eyes but stopped at your swollen stomach. You cursed yourself for wearing something so tight tonight.

You gulped, letting his name fall past your lips. He stood back up and tried to wipe the shock from his face.

"Is that? Is Joel the..." His question trailed off, but you nodded still, knowing what he was asking.

"Y/N, why haven't you told him? He's been besides himself since the breakup."

You shook your head, "I tried, he just hung up on me."

Tommy put his hand on your shoulder.

"You need to tell him. He'll be happy, I promise."

You sighed and nodded your head solemnly. You knew you had to tell him, it was just so hard.

You went home that night and pulled out the flannel he had left at your place. You slept in it that night, his smell lulling you to sleep. Tomorrow was the day you would finally tell him.

Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known

It was rare, I was there

The next afternoon you knocked on Joel's door. It was cold out, so you had bundled up a little more. Yet, there was still no hiding it.

His look of shock at your appearance was nothing compared to the look he made when saw your pregnant form.

He started to say something but you cut him off.

"Joel, just listen. I wanted to tell you, I tried but you kept hanging up on me and eventually I just kind of gave up. I never wanted to hide it from you. I never wanted to raise the baby without you but you had given me no choice. I saw Tommy last night and he said things that made me realize I needed to try again. So here I am."

There was a long silence between the two of you.

"Thank you." he finally uttered out.

"For?" You looked up at him, trying to read his face. All you were met with were those eyes you had grown to love.

"Everything. Showing me how to love. Giving me the greatest gift I could ever receive...for coming back." He reached out and touched your stomach. His hands moved slowly to your hips, pulling you towards him.

Leaning his forehead against yours, he finally said those three words you had waited so long to hear.

"I love you."

That's when you felt a raindrop fall on the top of your head. Both of your eyes met the sky to face the falling rain.

"It's raining." You said breathlessly.

"I'm not sure if that's a good sign or not." Joel said with a chuckle.

"I don't think it is, but I'm sure we can change that. I love you too."

He smiled and kissed you.

And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue?

Just between us, did the love affair maim you too?

'Cause in this city's barren cold

I still remember the first fall of snow

And how it glistened as it fell

You were now nine months along. You had moved in with Joel and even set up a nursery for your baby girl. Joel surprised you by painting her room purple, your favorite color. He had become that guy you had fallen in love with again and you couldn't be happier.

It was an even colder night when you woke up with a start. A shooting pain going through your spine. Shaking Joel awake, telling him you were sure you had just had a contraction.

He rushed around the house in a flurry, your eyes just following him around. He would've been making you dizzy if it weren't for the crippling moments of pain you kept feeling.

You yelled his name as another contraction hit.

"Joel, we have to go." He finally looked at you, doubled over in pain. He rushed over and tried to rub your back.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry darlin', I was so busy trying to get everything ready that I forgot how much pain you were in."

"It's fine, we just should go now before I have the baby in our living room. You can bring stuff to the hospital later."

"You're right. Let me help you to the car, baby."

Hours later and you were still having contractions but you were not getting any more dilated than before. The doctor came in to tell you they needed to do a C-section.

"A C-section? What do you mean? She can't give birth naturally?" Joel asked, confused. He seemed a little concerned as well.

"Well the baby just isn't moving along as much as we would like. So for both the baby and the mother's benefit we should do the Caesarean."

"it's fine, Joel, It's just a few cuts. We will be back to you in no time. Both of us." Joel looked at you and then back to the doctor for conformation, who nodded.

"Fine, but take care of her." Joel gave in, slumping down into his chair.

"Of course sir."

They took you away to surgery. Too long ago now for Joel's taste. Time was moving too slowly and Joel was losing it. Tommy had shown up about 30 minutes ago. He had been trying to calm Joel's worry this whole time.

The doctor finally came their way.

"Y/N Y/LN's family?"

Tommy and Joel nodded.

"The baby is perfectly healthy, congratulations you have a little girl. But, unfortunately, Miss Y/L/N began to hemorrhage as I was trying to sew her up. She lost a lot of blood and we were unable to find the source of the bleeding in time. She flatlined on the table and we were unable to revive her. I'm so sorry."

Joel just blinked at the doctor, it took him a minute to process the news. Then it hit him and he sunk down to his knees in the waiting room.

Tears began to fall from his eyes as the rain began to fall outside.

Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there

Down the stairs, I was there, I was there

Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there

It was rare, I was there, I was there

Joel didn't want to attend the funeral but Tommy made him, he said something about how the baby should be there.

He had named her Sarah. One night when you two were laying on the couch, watching a movie you had mentioned how much you liked the name. Joel made a mental note of it.

The three of them arrived at the funeral, Joel couldn't bring himself to talk to your parents. After their last interaction, there was no point. They had all but blamed Joel for your death. He even made Tommy bring Sarah over to them, knowing he couldn't do it himself. But they deserved to cuddle and love their granddaughter, after all it was the last part of you they had left.

As he watched the casket lower into the ground he remembered everything about you. The way you smiled, the way you laughed, the way you unconditionally loved him even after what he did to you.

Joel looked down to the baby in his arms. She looked so much like you. He promised himself he would protect her at all costs. He would protect her the way he couldn't protect you.

[rainbowdaisy13]

I've wondered for a while whether part of the great drama and heartbreak of Kaylor's relationship has to do with American politics. We don't know all of what went on behind the scenes...sometimes I wonder whether Karlie took a big hit marrying JK so that she could keep Taylor out of something, or to help Taylor in some important way. I don't think Taylor wanted that lavender marriage (legal or not legal) to happen. She accepted it, but I think it broke her heart. For the last year I've wondered whether Taylor is allowing herself to look republican/red in order to free Karlie.

I wasn't sure how I felt about Taylor's public political change. It's hard to accept someone with her platform not using it (at least not yet), but if it allows her to protect her family it feels...complicated. Maybe part of the anger and pain of TTPD is related to her knowing she's had to keep her mouth shut on issues? Or that she's actually chosen to keep her mouth shut to protect Karlie and their children? There must be a lot of complicated emotions surrounding all of that. Putting myself in her shoes, I can't fathom the great regret, guilt, and pain I'd feel compromising my political ideals, especially as a QUEER WOMAN, to protect my wife and children. I understand why...I would do the same. It's just...sad.

Sorry if this is all jumbled, I'm kind of stoned. lol

No no no I absolutely agree and we saw in Miss Americana that she is enraged about having to appear as a good quiet nice pick me American girl

IMO I think they should’ve scrapped Miss Americana until she was closer to fully being free—all it did was make her look like a hypocrite because to everyone but us, she’s still playing nice. I don’t know how any person with two brain cells could listen to TTPD and believe she wasn’t a raging feminist who loathes what has been done to her and what she herself has had to allow

[likeadevils]

What exactly happened between Taylor and Olivia Rodrigo?

it seems like neither partner really wants to talk about it, i would guess because there’s not that much to talk about. like, the list down there looks long, but (from the outside, as someone who casually keeps up with olivia) i would characterize it as a series of small but complicated events that caused olivia to decide she couldn’t grow as an artist while under taylor’s shadow. and from what i can tell, those are:

olivia felt creatively stifled, and taylor getting writing credits on deja vu heightened that— she’s mentioned a few times how damaging other artists claiming credits on sour was to her creative process, and how it made her feel like she couldn’t write anything original enough to be worthwhile. to be fair, olivia outright said she got the idea for the screaming part on deja vu from listening to cruel summer, so like. it wasn’t like taylor didn’t deserve credit, but i don’t think olivia was wrong for being hurt by it— it’s hard enough to find your voice as a 17/18/19 year old, let alone when all anyone can say is how it sounds just like this other person who did it much better than you. that’s going to take a toll, and taylor was (imo completely unintentionally) part of that storm for olivia

i also wouldn’t be surprised if olivia felt a little stung by taylor being so close to sabrina, even though i imagine all parties involved understand each other’s reasoning. but that’s just pure speculation on my part, i don’t think anyone close to olivia has even hinted at that. olivia has taken great pains to make it clear that she was mad at uh. josh something? jake? feminism win, local blogger forgets that guys name. but anyway shes always been careful to make her songs and public statements about that guy’s wrongdoings, not sabrina. that being said, from olivia’s music, it seems like she struggles a lot with comparing herself to other women, even as she knows that’s not like, a good path to go down. and uh. “my favorite artist has been so kind and patient with the woman who my first love left me for, while said favorite artist flippantly hit me where i’m weakest” is an tempting narrative to make yourself feel really bad, and who among us has not felt the call of an tempting narrative to make ourselves feel really bad

irregardless of any hurt, i think a big part of olivia distancing herself from taylor is an attempt to distance her brand from like, the “taylor swift fan first, songwriter in her own right second” thing that interviewers and to a certain degree the general public was treating her like.

i really don’t want this to come across as like, olivia is overly emotional and taylor is a careless money-hungry superstar, so of course olivia harbors a deep animosity to taylor— i think it’s just a case of two people who aren’t in a place where they can have a healthy, close mentorship, at least not publicly. and that’s okay! sometimes you come into peoples lives when you aren’t ready, and out of respect for them and you, you move on. from what they’ve chosen to make public, i don’t think it’s a feud, just olivia doing what she needs to do to grow as an artist and person

[alilixx]

Hiya! Recently discovered your blog and I love your fanfiction!!

I saw requests were still open and was wondering if you’d be willing to write an imagine being Hugh’s so and either convincing him to go with you or him surprise you with Taylor Swift’ Eras Tour tickets?

Thank you in advance!

Hope you have a wonderful day!

Hugh smiled at you and gave you a quick kiss on the lips to silence you, making it clear that no, the discussion wasn't really necessary. Hugh sometimes hated his fame when it could affect you. For example, the fact that he couldn't go to the Taylor Swift concert annoyed him, but he had no choice.

"Please, Hugh, just this once!" Your voice is soft, tinged with that insistent note you know he finds hard to ignore. Hugh looks at you, and you can almost see the gears turning in his mind, but his smirk already tells you he's about to say no, once again.

"No, absolutely not," he replies calmly, but with that firmness that drives you crazy. He kisses you gently on the forehead, as if to say the conversation is already over. "You know it's too risky. The paparazzi are on us nonstop right now. We can't afford that kind of attention."

You pull back slightly, crossing your arms, refusing to give up. "Risky? Hugh, seriously? It's a concert, not a gala! We can be discreet, blend into the crowd. I don't want attention, I just want a normal night, like any other couple. Is that too much to ask?"

He looks at you, the shadow of a smile still on his lips. "Do you really think we can escape all that? The flashes, the stares, the people watching our every move?" He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "I want to protect you from all that. They won’t leave you alone, you know that."

You feel your heart tighten a little. "I know... but it’s Taylor Swift, Hugh. I've been waiting for this concert for months. It's the perfect opportunity. Just one time, one night where we could pretend all this doesn’t exist. We could try, right?" Your voice grows softer, almost pleading.

Hugh stays silent for a moment, his eyes lowered, as if he's weighing every word. He knows you too well. He knows how much this means to you, but something in his gaze tells you there’s more, something he's not saying.

"I don’t want to disappoint you, really. But it’s more than just the paparazzi," he finally says, his voice a bit lower, almost tense. "There are things you don’t know about, things that could... complicate the situation if we get spotted there."

You narrow your eyes, intrigued. "Things I don’t know about? What do you mean, Hugh?" Your tone is more direct now, the mystery he hints at only fueling your curiosity. "Are you hiding something?"

He hesitates, avoiding your gaze for a moment before looking up at you, his expression unreadable. "I’m not hiding anything. Well, not really… It’s just that sometimes, some people aren’t ready to accept that we can have a normal life, you and me. There are tensions... expectations weighing on me. It’s complicated."

Your heart beats a little faster at his words. "What expectations? What tensions?" You step closer, searching his eyes. "Is it because of us? Is someone trying to tell you what to do?"

Hugh doesn’t respond immediately. He presses his lips together, as if searching for the right words. "Let’s just say... certain people want me to be careful with my image right now. And they might not like me being seen in a place like that, with you."

You step back, slightly hurt. "With me? That’s the problem?" Your voice trembles a little, but you try to stay calm.

He quickly shakes his head, moving closer to reassure you. "No, it’s not you, it’s... everything around you. What you mean to me. What people think about us. They have an image to protect, and it’s getting... complicated."

A long silence falls between you. You stare at Hugh, trying to understand what he really means, but part of you refuses to give in. "So that’s it? You’re going to let them dictate our lives?"

Hugh looks at you intensely, but this time, he seems tired, as if torn between wanting to protect you and wanting to make you happy. "I don’t want you caught up in all this. Not you."

You lower your eyes, frustrated, but you refuse to give up. "I can handle it. I’m not as fragile as you think, Hugh. I’m willing to take that risk, for you, for us. But are you?"

He looks at you, clearly wrestling with his own doubts, his own fears. Then, slowly, he sighs and finally gives in. "Alright," he murmurs, almost reluctantly. "Alright, we’ll go. But if things go wrong, you promise me we’ll leave immediately."

You nod, relieved but still intrigued by what he’s been hiding. "I promise."

The crowd’s buzz fades as the first notes of the concert resonate through the immense venue, enveloping the space in an electric atmosphere. The lights are dimmed, but they dance softly on the stage, creating an ambiance both intimate and grand. You can feel the vibration of the bass under your feet as Taylor Swift’s crystalline voice rises into the air, triggering cheers from the thousands of fans present.

You find yourself smiling despite the worry gnawing at you. The scene is a true spectacle, bathed in a sea of purple and pink lights that reflect off the crowd, transforming the audience into a wave of euphoric faces. The energy is palpable; every note, every guitar chord, every drumbeat echoes in your chest like a vibrating response to the excitement in the air.

Taylor moves gracefully across the stage, her movements perfectly synchronized with the light effects exploding around her. Behind her, a massive LED screen projects dreamlike images, accompanying each song with stunning visuals that tell their own stories. In this precise moment, there are no paparazzi, no expectations—just the music filling the air and the enthusiastic fans singing along to every word.

Yet despite the captivating atmosphere, something keeps you from fully relaxing. Hugh is next to you, but he isn’t really watching the stage. You can sense the tension in his shoulders, his hand gripping yours a little too tightly, his eyes scanning the room as if he’s looking for someone, or something. Instinctively, you follow his gaze toward a figure at the back of the room, a mysterious man standing still in the shadows, just far enough to remain indistinct, but close enough that you can’t ignore him.

The fans’ screams rise a notch as Taylor begins one of her biggest hits, and the room briefly lights up under the glow of spotlights sweeping across the crowd. For a split second, you think you catch a glimpse of the man’s face in the light, but it remains blurred, almost elusive. Your heart races, the palpable tension suddenly pulling you away from the surrounding euphoria.

Hugh discreetly leans toward you, his voice barely audible under the roar of the music. "I told you it was risky… stay close to me, no matter what." His tone is firm, protective, but there’s something more—a worry you’ve never seen in him before tonight.

The scene shifts again, the lights dimming for a ballad, and a soft wave of melancholy seems to sweep over the crowd. Taylor sings a quieter, almost intimate song, and for a moment, you try to focus on the lyrics, clinging to the magic of the performance. Phones light up, turning the arena into an artificial starry sky, and you wonder why this night, which should have been perfect, feels like it’s slipping out of your control.

You glance again toward the back of the room, but the man is gone. Your stomach tightens. You can’t help but wonder who he was and why he seemed to be watching you. A wave of adrenaline surges through your body. Hugh notices, and without a word, he wraps a protective arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

The opening notes of the final song begin to echo, a crescendo of emotions that the crowd passionately follows. It’s the climax of the concert, and all around you, people are swept up in the excitement. Confetti bursts from the ceiling, swirling in the air like golden glitter, as Taylor thanks her fans, her voice filled with gratitude and emotion.

Yet all that matters to you is the palpable tension between you and Hugh. His eyes are fixed on the exits, his jaw clenched. The concert is coming to an end, but something tells you the real night is just beginning.

The last notes of the song echo through the vast venue as Taylor Swift waves to the crowd under a thunderous round of applause. The confetti drifts slowly down, shimmering under the colorful lights that flood the stage, and for a moment, you allow yourself to be swept up in the euphoria. The energy in the air is tangible, and the smiles on the faces of the fans around you remind you why you wanted to be here so badly.

Hugh is still by your side, his arm around your waist, but you feel the tension in him starting to fade. The mysterious man who had caught your attention seems to have disappeared without a trace. You scan the room, but he’s no longer there. Maybe you worried for nothing. You slowly turn your head toward Hugh, and this time, he’s looking at you, a shy smile on his lips.

"I think we’re okay," he says, his voice barely audible over the noise of the applause. He looks at you with that tenderness that always melts your heart, and you realize he’s relieved. Maybe all of this was more in your heads than anything else. The weight on his shoulders seems to lift, and you feel his hand relax in yours.

"I told you everything would be fine," you say with a smile, trying to dispel the last bit of tension lingering between you.

Hugh chuckles softly, shaking his head. "Maybe I should listen to you more often." His eyes gleam under the stage lights, and he pulls you a little closer, as if savoring the moment. "I spent so much time worrying... but in the end, it was perfect. You and me, here, together."

You nod, soaking in this rare moment where everything feels right. "It really is perfect," you murmur. "Thank you for trusting me. And thank you for bringing me here."

He looks at you for a long moment, his smile widening. "I’d do anything for you, you know that, right?" He kisses you gently on the forehead, and a wave of warmth washes over you. It’s one of those moments where the world around you seems to disappear, leaving only the two of you, in the middle of the crowd.

As the music fades and the stage lights dim, you quietly make your way toward the exit, fingers intertwined. The joyful flow of fans surrounds you, but for the first time tonight, everything feels light, safe. No camera flashes, no prying eyes. Just two people sharing a simple, perfect moment.

Outside, the night is cool and calm, a soothing contrast to the wild energy of the concert. You pause for a moment, breathing in the fresh air, and Hugh looks at you with a playful, challenging glint in his eyes. "So, what did you think of the night?"

You laugh, your heart still full of emotions. "I don’t know what was better... the concert or the fact that you were there with me." You rise on your tiptoes to plant a kiss on his lips.

He smiles against your mouth, softly replying, "I think it’s both."

Under the starry sky, you walk side by side, hand in hand, the pressure and worries of the night completely lifted. In the end, it’s a night you’ll always remember, not just for the concert. It’s the moment where, despite all the obstacles, you found a little bubble of happiness just for the two of you. A perfect night, where nothing mattered but the present moment.

Hugh turns to you one last time before getting into the car, a radiant smile on his face. "I think we could do this more often, don’t you think?"

"Yes," you reply with a soft laugh. "Next time, we’ll choose the front row."

[buckera]

I think your takes about 9-1–1 have been very nuanced and speak to your love for the show so I while I might have some differences in opinion, I really look forward to your thoughts and thank you for sharing with us your joy and passion.

I have really grown to love all the characters and their stories throughout the years. I have no idea where the plot is going but I have thoroughly enjoyed seeing how much love people have for this show, the characters and the cast.

I know it can be really messy at times but I’m excited for where the show is going.

I was curious about your thoughts on how the show handles growth and flaws because I really like how complex each of the characters are and that’s one of the main selling points for me to continue watching so I would love to hear what you think :)

also if you have any recommendations for other shows to watch I would love to hear those as well :)

okay, first of all you are so so kind, it made my chin wobble a little bit 🥹

and I love your attitude, because yeah, we don't have to have the same opinions on anything, especially not in fandom, but you know, having fun and throwing stuff at the wall without trying to spit into each other's soup? that's what it's all about.

I'm gonna cut this in half because I went into ramble mode oops

when it comes to growth and being flawed. GOD YES. this is the reason I love this show, possibly more than I have ever loved any other.

for one, it doesn't tone it down, it doesn't leave a grey area of "was that really abuse?" "was that really neglect?" "was that invasive?" "was that really cheating?" because it was. the mistake and the flaw is always clear from the get go.

Hen cheating on Karen, Chimney lying to Tatiana, Maddie stalking that woman, Buck cheating on Taylor, Bobby being an addict, Athena killing people, Eddie enlisting, Shannon leaving to care for her mother, the Buckley parents lying to Buck and neglecting their children. all of that and more.

I was kind of surprised when I first started watching it that we had people cheating and leaving their children and killing people. that was just not the general vibe I was expecting after coming into it, thinking it'd be just some dramedy type firefighter procedural lmao

instead, I was hit with all the main characters lying, cheating, abusing their positions, being addicts and so on and then we got to see them for who they all were beyond that; heroes, people who risk their lives every day to help others.

the way the show portrays characters in such a human way, instead of saying "this character is bad" or "this character is good"; they are all just people trying their best and often times failing miserably.

I don't wanna make this too long, but the theme of cheating and parents abandoning their children (either physically or emotionally) is very rampant on the show — and so is forgivness. so far no character has cheated without being caught out for it and also being forgiven, and no parent has lost the right for redemption.

sure, I am less than pleased about Chim's dad and the Buckley parents... but if their kids are willing to let them be part of their lives and allow them room to grow and repent? then that's actually part of their growth as well.

Eddie and Shannon and Maddie, they have all left their kids out of fear of doing wrong by them or out of duty for another family member in Shannon's case; they all came back and worked hard every day to be the parents their kids deserved.

this is not something you see on other TV shows. if a parent leaves and comes back, there is a flare up of emotions and then a reconciliation in the same episode and then we move on, not to mention these are usually all adult children of the parents and there is no significant other in the picture complicating things further.

my point is; they are all so, so messy and flawed and they are all trying to do better (most of them anyway) and this is the human condition and it gets rough and ugly sometimes, but I think this show captures that better than any other, while also giving us the whole spectrum of emotions.

and while they all get a chance (or more) to better themselves and earn forgivness from the people they hurt; we see the hurt live on. Karen is still insecure about Hen cheating years ago, Bobby still struggles not to have a drink to this day, Eddie forgave Shannon the best he could but he never got closure and he never learned to trust that he's enough and Amir doesn't want revenge, but can't quite forgive Bobby either. the hurt never goes away no matter what and the work on themselves continues.

I could really go on forever, so I'm just gonna stop here lmao

on recommendations though; I don't watch too many new things cuz I either get sucked in or totally bored BUT following the theme of being flawed and growing, my absolute main recommendations would be Scrubs and Daredevil the netflix series (though mind you, neither of these have an active fandom atm)

and then if you like that sort of thing It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia; but that one is about flawed people who will never get better and are doomed to be trash and toxic and codependent for the rest of their lives — and it covers some real problematic topics, not always in the best way though (that being said, the actors/writers are pretty socially sensitive and everything problematic is in there because it is problematic)

thank you for this ask, it made my day, truly 💛✨

[in-restless-walks]

okay i don't know sorry if this is a weird ask but right now im high and watching a youtube video of simon and garfunkel singin the boxer in the concert in central park and idk i got like a vibe from them so my question is are you a simon and garfunkel historian? do you know the context of their relationship during that moment? i don't know you i just searched simon and garfunkel and ended up in your blog so forgive me if you are not that kind of fan or something idk. i know that simon and garfunkel is big on tumblr but idk sometimes is like in a yaoi kind of way sometimes is like an ironic meme i dont know what im saying tbh im sorry for this. anyway if you don't know could you give me some blogs recomendations so i can ask them? is this a weird thing to ask? do i sound crazy? again im really high and this is taking too much to write because i don't know if i make sense sometimes i forget what word i put before the word i'm writing. anyway. can you help me with my issue? thanks a lot! oh for context i don't really know simon and garfunkel lore so just in case i need context i just know their relationship was like weird like sometimes they got along and then they missed each other or something? okay thanks! <3

Wow, okay, thanks for sending this, and first of all, I hope you enjoyed getting high, LOL. I guess there's nothing like getting high and starting to wonder about the yaoi side of Simon & Garfunkel.

I am not a Simon & Garfunkel historian, so to speak, but I have been a fan for quite some time and I have read all the biographies there are to read, I have done my fair share of research into them, so I do think I know a bit about the S&G "lore". Ever since the first time I saw the Concert in Central Park and seeing the same "vibe" you did during The Boxer, I've also 'shipped' them. That is to say, while I do not think that they were ever in a romantic relationship and everything that that entails, I don't rule out at all that anything of a sexual nature happened between them. Other people seem to think that too, hence the 'yaoi' posts you see on tumblr.

Their relationship was/is a really complicated one and I'm not sure any of us know exactly what happened to make them where they are now - supposedly on no speaking terms. I mean, Paul said in his recent documentary that Art turned from someone who 'got it for him" into someone he hopes never to see again, which...ouch x 1000.

For you and for everyone else getting into Simon & Garfunkel, here's a little crash course.

TL;DR they're both idiots who got along reasonably well if it wasn't about their professional business. Their creative differences re: music (and personal grievances) were always so large (as were their egos) that they followed a pattern of getting together to try (again), fought, were on no speaking terms for a decade, thought to give it another try, and repeat, ad infinitum. In fanfic terms, they are the epitome of strangers to friends to lovers to enemies to friends to lovers to enemies to...

1950s

Paul and Art are childhood friends. They lived a few streets away from each other in Queens, NY, and they went to the same school. They're the same age, born three weeks apart. They formally met when they were eleven, at the school play for Alice in Wonderland (Paul was the White Rabbit, Art the Cheshire Cat). Soon after, they started recording songs in their basements, trying to copy their heroes, the Everly Brothers. They got signed by Big Records by someone called Sid Prosen, called themselves Tom (Art) and Jerry (Paul) and released a fairly successful single called 'Hey Schoolgirl' when they were 16, which even made them go on Dick Clark's American Bandstand show (footage sadly does not survive). Paul recorded a song by himself, without telling Art, while he called himself True Taylor, and Art found out, 'shattering' the friendship with Paul for the first time. (It seems to have never recovered to how it was before). I coin this the True Taylor Incident™️. Alledgedly they didn't speak to each other for a couple of years after graduating high school (1958-1962-ish). During that time, Art recorded a few songs as Artie Garr, and Paul did as well, as Jerry Landis.

1960s

Paul went to study in Queens College, NY, and Art went to Columbia University (there he met his blind roommate Sanford, which is a whole other interesting side story). Paul and Art got reacquainted with each other, performed as a duo again and managed to get signed to Columbia records to record an album in March 1964, which was to be released in October 1964.

Meanwhile, Paul often went to England and mainland Europe (France, Denmark, the Netherlands...) and there he met Kathy who became his girlfriend (Hence, Kathy's Song, and "Kathy I'm lost, I said" from America). He also recorded a solo album while in the UK, called The Paul Simon Songbook. Art went to visit him a few times.

Their first album, Wednesday Morning 3AM, flopped; Art stayed in school and Paul went back to the UK. The album did contain the song The Sound of Silence (acoustic version) and a really interesting thing happened in late 1965 when someone decided to put electric guitars to the track and suddenly it got airplay. Paul was in Denmark when the song was really starting to do well on the charts, and he had to rush home to NYC when the song became number one.

Then, Paul and Artie were suddenly famous! They quickly recorded another album with several songs that were on The Paul Simon Songbook, but now Art's harmonies were on there. They did a lot of tv performances in 1966 and 1967 and toured mainly in the college and university circuits. (I will link some tv peformances and so on later, in another post).

I'm skipping over some things now, but in my opinion, trouble for their relationship really began again when they started recording their album Bookends and Paul had been writing music for The Graduate (Mrs. Robinson) (1968). The director of The Graduate, Mike Nichols, had asked Art and Paul to act in his next movie, Catch-22, but Paul's scenes got cut, and Art went to Mexico on his own for the better part of the first half of 1969, just when they were supposed to record their next album, Bridge Over Troubled Water. Tensions ran super high at that time. Plus, Paul had written the song Bridge Over Troubled Water for Art to sing, but he later said that Art first refused to sing it (Art said that he wanted Paul to sing it in a lovely falsetto voice) and later, during concerts, Art took standing ovations while finishing the song, while Paul was jealous that he didn't get songwriting credits on stage. Paul also said that Art was leaving him to do movies...not long after Catch-22, Art got invited to play a role in Mike Nichols' next movie, Carnal Knowledge. (see also: Why Don't You Write Me...."if it's only to say that you're leaving me"). The whole Bridge Over Troubled Water album is one big breakup album.

Meanwhile, Paul had gotten married to Simon & Garfunkel's manager's ex-wife (I still can't fathom this) and Peggy also kind of encouraged him to go solo. Paul also claimed that his musical interests and Art's were drifting apart, so eventually, they split in 1970. Artie thought they were only taking a break, and allegedly he didn't realize they were really done.

1970s

Both starting solo careers, they reunited a few times as well, such as for the McGovern benefit concert in 1972, and most notably in the second Saturday Night Live episode in 1975 (tell me they're not flirting the whole time). Paul had even written a song, My Little Town, that the both of them performed for the reunion and was featured on both of their (solo) albums There was also a reunion for Paul's The Paul Simon Special (1977), the Brittania Awards (1977) and some other benefit concerts.

1980s

Paul was approached by a concert producer about playing in Central Park and maybe doing a few songs with Art, and Paul was like, I can't very well play support to Simon & Garfunkel, so it was decided that the whole concert was supposed to be the both of them. And time it was, what a time it was! Safe to say the concert was a success, even though they were fighting again (Art wanted to stay as close to the accoustic sets they used to do in the college performances, and Paul wanted a big band on stage). The interviews before the performance are awkward as usual, but it seems that for the performance itself they kind of set their differences aside, and they seem to be having a good time on stage, as good as it gets with these two. The back rub during The Boxer is...I can't explain it, but that was a lovely gesture by Art.

Because the concert in Central Park had been so successful, they were going to bank on that success and do a whole reunion tour AND a reunion album in 1982-1983, but that seems to have been a very miserable experience for them both. Their body language in interviews says it all. It culminated in Paul wiping Art's vocals from what was supposed to be their reunion album and releasing it as a solo album. Safe to say they were on no speaking terms again for a while, lmao, especially when their professional endeavours were concerned. They did hang out sometimes in private, because Paul had married Carrie Fisher and Art was seeing Carrie's friend Penny. Then Paul got famous with Graceland and Artie was once again, forgotten.

1990s

They got inducted in the Hall of Fame (another miserable experience), Paul did another concert in Central Park (without any sign of Art this time) and they did a few reunion concerts in NYC and so, but neither of them looked very happy about that, if you ask me. In fact, the less they had to look at each other, the better. There was apparently one instance where they were fighting and someone had to stand in between them, or they would have physically started attacking each other? Sounds like a lot of fun, huh? Start of another decade of not speaking to each other.

2000s

After getting a Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award, they thought it was a good idea to get together again and do a reunion your, and that seemed to work, for a while. They toured the United States (2003-2004), Europe (2004), Australia/NZ and Japan (2009) and were about to embark on yet some more shows in the fall of 2010, but then Art Lost His Voice (you can see this happening right in front of your salad at the April 2010 Jazz Fest, but they were still very chummy then).

What happened in 2010...no idea, but it wasn't good. And then Art made things much, much worse when he did an interview in 2015, called Paul a Monster, and idiot and a jerk, and how could he leave a successful formula like Simon & Garfunkel behind and no amount of groveling that Art has done since (like begging Paul to call him in an interview) has helped. They are still on no speaking terms.

Now all we can do is wait and hope they come to their senses and kind of make up before they die. Under no circumstances do I still want them to sing together, but damn, if all of us don't want them to just both sit on the edge of a park bench, like bookends, I don't know anymore.

My take on the whole thing: they were good friends as kids, Art never got over the True Tailor Incident and that stayed with him forever; he always saw Paul as someone who could betray him in the blink of an eye. Paul was envious of Art's looks (and height); meanwhile Art wasn't a songwriter, so Paul had that advantage over him. It's not a good balance to be in such a close partnership. Perhaps at one point something did happen between them, complicating things even more, because can you really hate someone that much if you don't have strong feelings for them either? In later years, it seems to be mainly the "creative differences" about the music that was causing a rift, but maybe after all is said and done, perhaps Carrie Fisher said it best "not only do I not like you, but I don't like you personally." Paul 'cheated' on Art with True Taylor and, like any other one half of a (married) couple, he tried to get over it, but never could. (and maybe Paul is a jerk lmao. But Art was no angel either).

I've skipped over a lot of things, so if you have more questions, shoot. There are quite a few of us who are posting regularly about them, and who know about everything I've written above. In fact, there's a Tumblr community on S&G now (see my pinned post) but so far there haven't been many people interested in joining, lol, so if you want in, let me know. People could do a lot more theorizing there, haha.

[thepalmofyourfreezinghand]

i actually love you’re losing me haha

but i got a little sad/frustrated at the thought that most people taylor’s writing songs about won’t ever get the chance to tell their side of the story. and it’s such a complicated matter, too. because while yes, i believe that singing/writing about one’s own experience shouldn’t be viewed as wrong, it’s hard to ignore the audience’s reaction to the songs.

i remember this one interview, i think it was from red era, when taylor was telling a story about a guy who after breaking up said something along the lines of “don’t you think about writing songs about me”. and taylor played it off as a joke, and i think she said that she replied i won’t, and then she did, with the sassiness that was on-brand for her back then, and which i loved. but this particular interview always was in the back of my mind whenever one of her exes was brought up within the fandom.

i remember that people would bring up this quote as an example of jake’s(?) assholery, and i get that, because trying to control another person’s way of expression is kind of an asshole move, but. it must be extremely frustrating for taylor’s exes to be painted as the bad guys and then be hated by thousands (if not millions) of people for years after.

and it’s not even the ‘rabid’ fans, so to speak. one of my best friends, a fellow swiftie, reacted with confusion and mild disgust(?; i’m sorry, not sure if that’s the best word for it haha) upon hearing that one of my comfort movies is one in which jake plays lead role. and she’s really rational and level-headed. granted, she’s probably not tweeting hateful stuff about him, but it still impacts her choices about which movies to watch, for example. and i imagine there’s more people like that.

i have this one song of john mayer’s that brings great memories, cause it was my camp counselor’s favourite and he used to play it for us on his guitair & sing, and i felt guilty listening to it for YEARS bc of what john mayers did to taylor.

i went on quite a rant, but what i mean is: the view that taylor only writes songs about her ex-boyfriends is *extremely* damaging and frankly not true, but it’s hard to deny that her songs impact (sometimes more, sometimes less) the lives of people about whom the song are about. the question is, should artist take it into account while creating, or would that impact the craft too much? i don’t exactly have an answer.

but i do understand why people would be afraid to start a relationship with taylor.

also, your blog feels very safe, so thank you for that :D <3

Okay, so... I'll get back to this when I'm not as frustrated with the fandom as I am today, but there are a couple of things I wanna say.

I need everyone who says "it's her story, she can say whatever she wants!" to please reflect on what such a blank statement entails and what are its consequences.

EXAMPLE A. Lev Tolstoy is one of the greatest writers that have ever existed. He was also a horrible human being who vexed and tormented his wife, Sophia Tolstaya, for years. I'm not gonna go into that here, but there was abuse, of all sorts, involved. Tolstoy crushed her spirit and made her life miserable while forcing her to bear more than ten children. Tolstoy is also the author of "The Kreutzer Sonata", a novella about the hatred of a man for his wife, which ends with the former killing the latter (described by him as "hysterical" and "mentally diseased") and which can be read as an ode to sexual purity. Did Tolstoy practise what he preached in the novel? Absolutely not. And yet, his word was taken as gospel by everyone in Russia, and people pitied Sophia. They thought that she was the woman portrayed in the novel and that she was making poor Tolstoy's life miserable, even though she went to great lengths to stop people from speculating and talking about it (she went as far as protesting the censorship of the novella in front of the czar). After the author's death, she was also despised by scholars and her entire persona was reduced to that of a frigid wife holding her husband back. It was only at the beginning of the 2000s that Sophia's diaries and two novels were finally published and studied. And they told the story of a woman who longed for a loving marriage and who was dying in her husband's shadow. It took 100 years for people to learn the truth about Sophia, because they'd only paid attention to Tolstoy's art before then.

EXAMPLE B. Hélène Devynck is Carrère's ex-wife. He is, without any doubt, one of the most famous writers alive, and arguably a top 10 writer worldwide when it comes to literary fiction and nonfiction. He is, again, an amazing writer (read "The adversary"). In his latest work, Yoga, he had a few passages where he wrote avout Devynck, even though in their divorce there was a clause that forced him to submit anything he wrote about Devynck to her, so that she could delete it, no questions asked. The story is long, but this quote from Devynck sums it up nicely: "I'm asking for distance. I don't want to be his literary object anymore. I just want to exist elsewhere".

So, to sum up: to every fan out there who's saying "she can do whatever she wants with her story! She shouldn't care about the consequences!", PLEASE remember that that's the same excuse used to justify what famous and powerful MALE artists have done for years: write about their female partners, make them a character in their story and delete their personality without any care for the consequences.

I don't have a solution. And I think that art should be as free as possible. But if you can't recognize the precarious position of "the muse", if you can read Carrère's ex-wife plea and still think that the author can do whatever the fuck they want, then I really don't know what to tell you...