#i do like hearing from people i just. literally cannot respond

[velvetvexations]

Ive seen at least two responses to your antigonism post saying that the word would be divisive because “transfems who are normal about transmascs are the norm” and I really truly do believe that’s probably the case but at the same time it personally feels a little dismissive?? I cant speak for all trans people obviously but I know A LOT of trans people, basically everyone in my life is trans- my blood sibling, all of my friends, my 2 girlfriends (im poly) I am regularly in contact with other trans people/trans communities in several cities across my state, and for me it really does not feel like its a “small vocal minority” of transfems who hold anti transmasculine and exorsexist beliefs.

I want to make it clear I absolutely love the transfems in my community, they are my dearest friends, and I deeply treasure our relationships; but absolutely every one of them that I have gotten close to has ended up saying something to me that made me feel really weird. They either mention something about how transmascs have it easier/transfems have it the worst, or they feel the need to gatekeep things from other trans people& borderline accuse other trans people/intersex people of copying transfems, or they joke and complain about “theyfabs” or justify the use of the term (both of my gfs did this- mind you I was afab and exclusively use they/them pronouns), or they invalidate feminine transmasc and afab enby people (again something both of my gfs did despite me being genderfluid and sometimes presenting feminine).

And thats just some of the things Ive experienced IRL in my own home and within my own communities! If I were to start listing my experiences online Id be here all night!! I honestly want to go on about the shit I see online but I dont have the energy for it- but when I see exorsexist or anti trans masculinity coming from transfems (and self proclaimed tmes) online, the comments/notes/whatever is always filled with sometimes hundreds of other trans people agreeing and venting their own frustrations about “tmes” and it just. Again doesnt FEEL like its a minority. You are literally one of the only TWO transfems I know who makes content actively CONSISTENTLY standing up for transmascs and pushing back against anti trans masculinity. Its not that I think its transfems job to dismantle anti trans masculinity but the ratio of transfems who complain about tmes vs ones who actively push back against that rhetoric feels so disproportionate to how often I see transmasc and afab enbies pushback against trans misogyny and the exclusion of transfems in queer spaces.

This turned into a very long winded vent and Im kinda struggling to conclude my point but i guess I wish it felt like more people cared to pushback against TIRFism. It just feels kinda dismissive to hear people say that transmascs who are hesitant to interact w trans communities just need to touch grass or whatever when in my personal experience it feels like I cannot escape anti trasmasculinity or exorsexism in every trans space I am apart of. Kinda blanking on how to end this ask i hope any of this is coherent.

I wanna emphasize again that the person I responded to specifically was really cool and my emotions in this post are not directed at them

Recently someone said it was "easy to forget most trans women are normal about trans men," and I was scolded because me not thinking that was horribly transmisogynistic was apparently a sign I'd lowered my standards as a trans woman because I'm too discourse poisoned, so now I'm even more self-conscious that people will start to see me that way no matter how much I try to insist over and over that TRFs are a vocal minority.

Meanwhile I continue to get asks calling me a pickme and comparing me to Blair White. I continue to have ten people respond to my every reply going "don't listen to Velvet she's crazy and hates trans women!!!!!".

So yeah. It is, actually, easy to forget that sometimes.

Especially since I'm stuck in a tiny southern town without even the option to make use of what meager community exists in the area because there's no one to drive me several hours to the state capital for their annual Pride stuff. I can't just go outside and be gal pals with all the vast numberless hordes of Normal trans women. I would be shocked beyond fucking belief if I saw two gay cis men in my fucking zip code. With my personal situation I can't even be social with cishet people anyway, let alone other queers, let alone all the trans women others perceive as Normal because they've knowingly been in the physical presence of another trans person a single time in their life and have the option of making that happen when they want it to.

Thank you for the support, anon.

[wastelandhell]

deranged rambling

[widevibratobitch]

.

[troglobite]

[crying screaming tearing my hair out]

me watching this video before dming: oh these are good tips. and i'm glad that i already do most of these! okay cool.

me watching this video after dming: [inconsolable, distraught, curled up in a ball on the floor, begging, pleading]

[txttletale]

Saw a tweet that said something around:

"cannot emphasize enough how horrid chatgpt is, y'all. it's depleting our global power & water supply, stopping us from thinking or writing critically, plagiarizing human artists. today's students are worried they won't have jobs because of AI tools. this isn't a world we deserve"

I've seen some of your AI posts and they seem nuanced, but how would you respond do this? Cause it seems fairly-on point and like the crux of most worries. Sorry if this is a troublesome ask, just trying to learn so any input would be appreciated.

i would simply respond that almost none of that is true.

'depleting the global power and water supply'

something i've seen making the roudns on tumblr is that chatgpt queries use 3 watt-hours per query. wow, that sounds like a lot, especially with all the articles emphasizing that this is ten times as much as google search. let's check some other very common power uses:

running a microwave for ten minutes is 133 watt-hours

gaming on your ps5 for an hour is 200 watt-hours

watching an hour of netflix is 800 watt-hours

and those are just domestic consumer electricty uses!

a single streetlight's typical operation 1.2 kilowatt-hours a day (or 1200 watt-hours)

a digital billboard being on for an hour is 4.7 kilowatt-hours (or 4700 watt-hours)

i think i've proved my point, so let's move on to the bigger picture: there are estimates that AI is going to cause datacenters to double or even triple in power consumption in the next year or two! damn that sounds scary. hey, how significant as a percentage of global power consumption are datecenters?

1-1.5%.

ah. well. nevertheless!

what about that water? yeah, datacenters use a lot of water for cooling. 1.7 billion gallons (microsoft's usage figure for 2021) is a lot of water! of course, when you look at those huge and scary numbers, there's some important context missing. it's not like that water is shipped to venus: some of it is evaporated and the rest is generally recycled in cooling towers. also, not all of the water used is potable--some datacenters cool themselves with filtered wastewater.

most importantly, this number is for all data centers. there's no good way to separate the 'AI' out for that, except to make educated guesses based on power consumption and percentage changes. that water figure isn't all attributable to AI, plenty of it is necessary to simply run regular web servers.

but sure, just taking that number in isolation, i think we can all broadly agree that it's bad that, for example, people are being asked to reduce their household water usage while google waltzes in and takes billions of gallons from those same public reservoirs.

but again, let's put this in perspective: in 2017, coca cola used 289 billion liters of water--that's 7 billion gallons! bayer (formerly monsanto) in 2018 used 124 million cubic meters--that's 32 billion gallons!

so, like. yeah, AI uses electricity, and water, to do a bunch of stuff that is basically silly and frivolous, and that is broadly speaking, as someone who likes living on a planet that is less than 30% on fire, bad. but if you look at the overall numbers involved it is a miniscule drop in the ocean! it is a functional irrelevance! it is not in any way 'depleting' anything!

'stopping us from thinking or writing critically'

this is the same old reactionary canard we hear over and over again in different forms. when was this mythic golden age when everyone was thinking and writing critically? surely we have all heard these same complaints about tiktok, about phones, about the internet itself? if we had been around a few hundred years earlier, we could have heard that "The free access which many young people have to romances, novels, and plays has poisoned the mind and corrupted the morals of many a promising youth."

it is a reactionary narrative of societal degeneration with no basis in anything. yes, it is very funny that laywers have lost the bar for trusting chatgpt to cite cases for them. but if you think that chatgpt somehow prevented them from thinking critically about its output, you're accusing the tail of wagging the dog.

nobody who says shit like "oh wow chatgpt can write every novel and movie now. yiou can just ask chatgpt to give you opinions and ideas and then use them its so great" was, like, sitting in the symposium debating the nature of the sublime before chatgpt released. there is no 'decay', there is no 'decline'. you should be suspicious of those narratives wherever you see them, especially if you are inclined to agree!

plagiarizing human artists

nah. i've been over this ad infinitum--nothing 'AI art' does could be considered plagiarism without a definition so preposterously expansive that it would curtail huge swathes of human creative expression.

AI art models do not contain or reproduce any images. the result of them being trained on images is a very very complex statistical model that contains a lot of large-scale statistical data about all those images put together (and no data about any of those individual images).

to draw a very tortured comparison, imagine you had a great idea for how to make the next Great American Painting. you loaded up a big file of every norman rockwell painting, and you made a gigantic excel spreadsheet. in this spreadsheet you noticed how regularly elements recurred: in each cell you would have something like "naturalistic lighting" or "sexually unawakened farmers" and the % of times it appears in his paintings. from this, you then drew links between these cells--what % of paintings containing sexually unawakened farmers also contained naturalistic lighting? what % also contained a white guy?

then, if you told someone else with moderately competent skill at painting to use your excel spreadsheet to generate a Great American Painting, you would likely end up with something that is recognizably similar to a Norman Rockwell painting: but any charge of 'plagiarism' would be absolutely fucking absurd!

this is a gross oversimplification, of course, but it is much closer to how AI art works than the 'collage machine' description most people who are all het up about plagiarism talk about--and if it were a collage machine, it would still not be plagiarising because collages aren't plagiarism.

(for a better and smarter explanation of the process from soneone who actually understands it check out this great twitter thread by @reachartwork)

today's students are worried they won't have jobs because of AI tools

i mean, this is true! AI tools are definitely going to destroy livelihoods. they will increase productivty for skilled writers and artists who learn to use them, which will immiserate those jobs--they will outright replace a lot of artists and writers for whom quality is not actually important to the work they do (this has already essentially happened to the SEO slop website industry and is in the process of happening to stock images).

jobs in, for example, product support are being cut for chatgpt. and that sucks for everyone involved. but this isn't some unique evil of chatgpt or machine learning, this is just the effect that technological innovation has on industries under capitalism!

there are plenty of innovations that wiped out other job sectors overnight. the camera was disastrous for portrait artists. the spinning jenny was famously disastrous for the hand-textile workers from which the luddites drew their ranks. retail work was hit hard by self-checkout machines. this is the shape of every single innovation that can increase productivity, as marx explains in wage labour and capital:

“The greater division of labour enables one labourer to accomplish the work of five, 10, or 20 labourers; it therefore increases competition among the labourers fivefold, tenfold, or twentyfold. The labourers compete not only by selling themselves one cheaper than the other, but also by one doing the work of five, 10, or 20; and they are forced to compete in this manner by the division of labour, which is introduced and steadily improved by capital. Furthermore, to the same degree in which the division of labour increases, is the labour simplified. The special skill of the labourer becomes worthless. He becomes transformed into a simple monotonous force of production, with neither physical nor mental elasticity. His work becomes accessible to all; therefore competitors press upon him from all sides. Moreover, it must be remembered that the more simple, the more easily learned the work is, so much the less is its cost to production, the expense of its acquisition, and so much the lower must the wages sink – for, like the price of any other commodity, they are determined by the cost of production. Therefore, in the same manner in which labour becomes more unsatisfactory, more repulsive, do competition increase and wages decrease”

this is the process by which every technological advancement is used to increase the domination of the owning class over the working class. not due to some inherent flaw or malice of the technology itself, but due to the material realtions of production.

so again the overarching point is that none of this is uniquely symptomatic of AI art or whatever ever most recent technological innovation. it is symptomatic of capitalism. we remember the luddites primarily for failing and not accomplishing anything of meaning.

if you think it's bad that this new technology is being used with no consideration for the planet, for social good, for the flourishing of human beings, then i agree with you! but then your problem shouldn't be with the technology--it should be with the economic system under which its use is controlled and dictated by the bourgeoisie.

[itsclydebitches]

Still thinking about "Dot and Bubble."

Specifically, I'm thinking about how the racists of FineTime aren't just written to be cruel and entitled, but downright childish too. Lindy - in a move that dovetails nicely into the episode's commentary on social media - has the attention span of a toddler, going on and on about how boring work is even though, from what we're shown, she doesn't have to do anything other than sit there and socialize, which is presumably what she'd be doing if she didn't have to work, right? But since this is something she has to do per orders of the gross old people, she complains. "You're no fun!" she yells at Gothic Paul, the only one in her group taking a mature stance on this issue (and, notably, the only one with a very small number of subscribers).

Lindy lacks the maturity and critical thinking skills we would expect from someone her age. Again, this is definitely a layer of the social media side of the episode's thesis, but she nevertheless demonstrates a kind of emotional dysregulation that's usually only seen in younger, developing children. Lindy does not think for herself and cannot adapt to changes in routine/the way things are "supposed" to be. When told a fact - the police are unavailable - Lindy repeats, "but I really need the police" over and over as if her need is going to magic up a change in reality. She parrots rules and rejects them in equal measure, driven solely by her current desires: "We don't do that [lower the bubble]."/"I can do whatever I want!" She moves from disgusted to infatuated to angry in the blink of an eye, with her anger characterized by childish outbursts and language: "Now shut up I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" When faced with something life-threatening, Lindy's response is to a) distract herself (by watching Ricky) and b) find a hiding place. Even taking her terror into account, she responds to these situations like someone far younger would. If I cover my eyes the bad thing disappears. If I hide under the bed, I'm safe.

And of course, Lindy's body is monitored in the way you would a child's. She's constantly watched by others, both her peers and, presumably, by the Homeworld. She's told when she needs to use the restroom which for me was VERY evocative of a parent speaking to their potty training child, trying to get them to articulate when they need to go by informing them of when it's most likely. Hell, Lindy literally can't walk without the assistance of this AI parent.

Yes, there are plenty of moments that evoke the very stereotypical, entitled teenager - talk of "partying," bragging about clothes, being obsessed with the guy online - but even more, I think, evoke the child. When Lindy plays the recording of "Mummy," smiling shyly at the praise before throwing out the kind of insults you'd expect to hear on an elementary school playground - "You're stupid" - she reads like she's a kid. Which is a hell of a commentary on her racism. The episode doesn't say that Lindy is literally a child (she's not, she even snaps as much). The episode also doesn't try to claim that being childlike equals harmless (quite the opposite). But equating racism with a childish, dangerously inept, can't-even-walk-or-use-the-bathroom-by-herself white woman... damn if that's not a statement.

[inez-winchester-cameron]

omg pls write more of what you just posted of rafe with that age gap it's sooo hot 😭 like something about the reader being bratty on purpose and sassing him

cw: dark!rafe x younger!reader, 29 and 19, non-con/rape, drug use, intoxicated reader, talks of free use and public sex, abusive relationship

note: is this too dark, yes or no

rafe HATES when you disobey at parties. ever since you two have started dating, you have a bad habit of misbehaving at parties to get more attention from rafe. whether that be overdrinking, snorting coke, smoking weed, or flirting with other guys. all of these being things that you KNOW rafe disapproves of.

tonight, it happened to be a mix of all of them. you went to the restroom and came back to rafe talking with one of his ex girlfriends, sofia. you completely being oblivious to the fact that he was telling her off. you huff and head back into the room where topper and kelce sit.

they're doing lines and drinking, sitting on opposite sides of a loveseat.

"hey, y/n, have a seat," topper politely greets you, gesturing to an empty chair beside the loveseat but you smile and sit inbetween topper and kelce. they give eachother a look but say nothing.

"whatcha guys doin?" you ask, looking over toppers shoulder as he sets up a line.

"coke, nothing you should concern yourself with."

"yeah rafe would kill us if he knew you were anywhere near this," kelce comments.

"hes too busy bein up sofia's pussy to care. can i do a line?"

kelce and topper both look at you at this comment, a little shocked. they knew rafe and how loyal he was to you, he never even so much as entertained another girl.

"you saw him up her pussy?" kelce asks, confused.

"well no but- it doesnt even matter, just let me do a line."

"sweetheart i dont think-" topper starts.

"pleaseeeeee?" you beg, giving him puppy eyes.

topper sighs and glances to kelce who shrugs. eventually topper responds, "okay fine, sweetie, but you cannot tell rafe."

"i won't, promise! ill even pinky promise if you want!"

topper stares at you for a moment, finding your innocence both endearing and hot at the same time. too bad you aren't his. topper sets up a line for you and gently guides you onto your knees in front of the table. he gives you the dollar bill and guides you as you snort it. you let it sit for a minute, not feeling anything, then it hits. and you want more.

"again!" you say, looking at topper, feeling your brain begin to buzz.

"yeah no i don't-"

"what the fuck are you doing?"

your eyes shoot to the doorway. rafe stands there, arms crossed, hair messy, blood on his knuckles, and he looks pissed.

"rafey!" you greet him, trying to pretend you didn't just snort cocaine. you stand up, swaying, and subsequently falling back onto the couch.

"what the fuck guys?" rafe questions, walking over to you. he looks pissed, "how much did you give her?"

"just a line, man, she asked for it. quite literally," kelce speaks first and topper agrees.

"i didn't know you don't let her do that man, im sorry-" topper defends himself and rafe shakes his head, calming down a bit.

"nah you're good, man. it's her fault. come on, princess, we have some business to discuss." rafe says through gritted teeth, roughly grabbing your arm and heading to his room. once you're upstairs and away from people, he starts scolding you, "what the fuck were you thinking? you know so much better than that."

"you were talking to Sof-"

"yeah i was telling her to go suck a fucking dick. then i beat the shit out of her boyfriend for calling you a whore. but maybe he was right, you don't think about anyone but yourself, huh? always just assuming. saw the way you were staring at top." rafe speaks with no sympathy and you two slip into his bedroom. he presses you down onto the bed, holding your hands behind your back as he flips your little skirt up, "no panties? you fucking serious? god what is wrong with you? you stupid little whore."

you hear his belt unbuckle and your head continues buzzing from your high. soon enough, you feel his cock, pushing into you. it's immediately too much.

"rafe-! no no no-"

"don't tell me fucking no, bitch. act like a whore, get treated like one. maybe i should've just fucked you downstairs," rafe starts, setting a fast pace with his thrusts, not hearing any of your protests, "or maybe i should tie you up down there, let all these drunk men use your holes since you wanna disobey. i think that's a fair punishment, huh? i try to be nice and defend your honor and you make eyes at two of my best friends. fucking bitch."

"rafe i didn't- i don't want this- stop!" you beg but rafe doesn't care. he simply tugs your hair in response as you start crying. your head is pounding and it's all too much.

"that's it, cry for it, bitch. this is my fucking pussy and i'm gonna use it when i want. now whine one more time and i'm gonna make this pussy free use to the entire island."

you whimper and stay quiet in response. you think about leaving rafe, but you can't, you love him and maybe you even secretly loved being fucked against your will.

[jilixthinker]

i always know

=͟͟͞♡ seungmin × fem!reader

=͟͟͞♡ fluffy period sex

word count: 4K

content warning: smut, explicit sexual content, established relationship, kinda sub!seungmin, period sex, unprotected sex (piv), fingering, oral sex (f receiving), it's grafic and fluffy

a/c: i wrote this for my pure enjoyment because period!sex should be debunked and seungmin is just so... fitting. enjoy this ♡

=͟͟͞♡ please, consider reblogging if you like my works!

"What do you need again?"

Seungmin's voice is ruffled and far. You can hear people talking in the background and the annoying beeping sounds of cash registers.

"Just the regular pads I always buy." You huff, hot bottle strategically placed on your lower stomach and phone on speaker. The fact that you had to do anything today is literally a crime. You had to go to work, 8 infinite hours of cramps and shivers, and then grocery shopping. And, of course, you forgot to buy your pads.

Seungmin finished his shift 30 minutes ago, and he called to check on you, asking if you were feeling like eating Chinese for dinner. That's when it popped into your mind.

"Uhm. The purple ones, right?". You can hear him searching through the boxes to find the right one.

"Yes, just those." You mutter, another dart of dull pain spikes through your abdomen, making you curl on yourself.

The painkiller you took with lunch wore off hours ago and you cannot take another one without eating before, or it will upset your stomach.

"Okay. 10 minutes and I'll be home. I am so sorry".

You roll from your side onto your back, hugging the hot bottle tighter to your tummy and drawing your knees towards your chest. Kim Seungmin is the best boyfriend in the entire world, a true angel, and you know it. That's why you say it all the time.

"Kim Seungmin, you are the best boyfriend in the entire world."

Seungmin's laugh is quiet and shy while you hear him paying for your box of pads.

"I'm not. Coming."

You close your eyes trying to relax, but it doesn’t work. You watch your own chest rise and fall in the overwhelming quiet of the room until the silence is too much, and you look for the remote, stuck under the million of cushions on your sofa. You put one of your favorite kdramas on, and you lazily start to watch it until you hear the sound of keys just outside the door.

You sit up, keeping your hot bottle on your stomach. The sound is followed by the shuffle of footsteps and the sound of Seungmin's soft voice.

"Hi." He waves as soon as he sees you, splayed on the couch.

"Hi," you respond. You try to keep the discomfort out of your voice, even if Seungmin knows how much painful your periods can be. Your pale face doesn't hide anything as well.

He rounds the corner and he tilts his head at you. His new blondish hair partially covers his puppy eyes, but it makes him look so soft and cuddly that you don't mind.

"Are you alright?". He asks you while he starts to set the table for the take-out.

"Yeah, fine". You rub your face and move against the arm of the couch. "Always the same".

"Mhm." Seungmin nods and places two napkins and your chopsticks on the table before heading for the kitchen. You watch him opening two boxes of stir fried noodles and one of caramelized tofu, together with some mushrooms and veggies.

"Ready." He smiles and comes toward you, offering his hand as a support for standing up. When you both sit at the table, he fills your plate before his.

"Why are you so sweet today?" You ask, picking up your chopstick and starting munching on some veggies.

He ducks his head with a cute wink. "I am always sweet. Also, you are hurting." He squeezes your hand and brings it to his mouth, kissing your knuckles. You stuff a piece of tofu inside your mouth.

"I am not hur-".Then another cramp twists through your lower belly and you groan.

"Oh, love." He coos, and looking up, you realize he has a worried look in his eyes. "Wait, let me help you eat".

Before you can mount any protest, he takes your chopsticks from your hands and bring a piece of tofu and mushrooms in front of your mouth. You look at him steadily.

"I am not a child." You huff, but the pain humbles you quickly with a sharp cramp.

"How many times have you mothered me when I was sick? Let me pamper you every once in a while." And then he looks at you with the softest eyes he could master. "Please?"

You lift your legs to place them on his laps and you silently open your mouth. The flavorful taste of the food calming your senses just a little. Seungmin alternates one mouthful of food for you and one for himself for a few minutes. The vision is so caring and sweet that makes your heart ache.

When you both finish eating, Seungmin places a tiny kiss on your cheek before starting to clear the table. You patiently wait for him to finish and, when he is done, he hands you a big glass of water with one of your painkillers.

"I feel awful". You admit after chugging the pill together with half of the water.

Seungmin nods, and he gently circles your hips with his arm, helping you standing up again. He rests one of his hands on your hipbone and caresses it. "What can I do?".

"Nothing, Min." you reply. "I'm not dying. It will pass, eventually. It happens every month". You glare and hope he can stop worrying that much before you start feeling guilty.

"Why don't you choose something nice to watch while I prepare the bed and make another hot bottle?"

The thought of you two cuddling on your warm bed until the painkillers kick in and you can fall asleep is very tempting.

"Sure. I am gonna change my pad real quick and put my pajamas on."

Seungmin smiles and you pick up the box he bought for you from a shopping bag, heading to the bathroom.

After taking the quickest shower and putting a fluffy set of pajamas, you enter in your room. Seungmin turned on just the background lights, the softer ones, and he is waiting for you under the covers. He created what it seems to be a nest of blankets, soft and warm. You snuggle next to him and he covers you with one of them, the hot bottle waiting for you.

You hug his chest and he places one arm around your shoulders, pressing the bottle on your stomach and making sure you are all covered with the blankets. The TV in front of your bed is already on.

"I don't deserve you." You whisper, nuzzling your nose in the crook of his neck. He smells nice, fresh and clean as always.

"You deserve any of this and more". He turns his head to press a peck on your forehead, and he tightens his hug. You puff some air while snuggling up. The warmth of his body feels just right against your aching stomach, and in just a few seconds you begin to feel better already.

"How can you always find out what I need?" You ask, the sound of your voice is muffled by the skin of his neck, and Seungmin lets out a tiny laugh.

"Well, it's simple. I love you. I always know." He murmurs, settling his hand on the nape of your neck. Your eyes slip shut, you still  feel an uncomfortable tightness in your lower stomach, but it's definitively decreasing.

Seungmin finds the remote control and clicks on the same episode of the drama you were watching before. His touch melts down your skin, warm and soft, soothing the tension of your muscles and bringing you the relief you’ve been craving the whole day.

The voices of the drama seem far while you bring your right leg to straddle Seungmin's.

"This feels so nice". You whisper on his skin.

Seungmin smiles and starts to hum a lullaby. The vibrations are low and you start to think you might even fall asleep like this. Then, another cramp hits you and suddenly you are wide awake again.

"That bad?" Seungmin's hands settle on your hips and travel to your back, massaging your spine in tiny circles, trying to help you with the pain.

"Uhm." You reply. His fingers catch on the hem of your pajamas shirt and he starts to press the pads on your bare skin. He keeps the pressure consistent and your back arches slightly into his. You shuffle closer to him. The heat of his hands on your back is a pleasing distraction from the ache spreading through your pelvis.

"Does it help a little?" He whispers while pressing another kiss on your temple.

"It feels good." You mumble. The noise is muffled in the soft fabric of Seungmin's sweater.

He nods, and for a few minutes he keeps alternating between applying pressure to your back and running his hands up and down your spine. You hum from deep in your chest as you feel yourself go loose in his arms. The cramps on your abdomen lighten and you tilt your head to the side to face him.

"Kiss?" You demand, voice all groggy and low.

Seungmin lowers his face to press his lips against yours. They are plump and soft, and they taste like mint. You lazily open your mouth and let your tongue lap his lower lip. He lets you do it for a bit, until you start nibbling at it and you feel getting restless under the warm covers.

"Getting better?" He asks without letting your mouth go.

You nod and his right hand comes up to cup your cheek. The other one is still on your lower back, caressing the skin over your pajama pants.

Seungmin hums slowly and the sound vibrates into you. He parts his lips and licks into your mouth while your grip on him becomes tighter.

"Can I try something?" He breathes on you. The pressure of his hand on your back is firmer than before, and his fingers feel hot against your sensitive skin.

"Something like?" you stop to look up to him. He looks a little bit flushed, but you're sure you look worse.

"Something than can help you. And something that I wanted to try for a while."

You feel a slight shiver on the skin of your back. You nod and lower your face to press your lips on his cheek, leaving an open mouthed kiss on it. Seungmin cups your chin again and slips the tip of his tongue inside your waiting mouth. You hum pleasantly, trying to deepen the kiss, until finally Seungmin gives in and lets you.   

Your lower stomach is still throbbing with pain, but you quickly feel a wave of warmth spreading on your belly. It feels like Seungmin is making everything hot, every little part of you that he gets to touch. He starts to drag his warm tongue along your lips while his hands tease the place where your skin meets the fabric of your pants. When he starts to play with the elastic band underneath, you lazily detach your mouth from his.

"Min?"

"Uh?" He leans back a little, but his lips find the tender spot under your ear and he begins to kiss you there.

"I am getting really horny." You admit. Your eyes slip shut and you lean on his touch.

"That's perfect." He murmurs, sucking a tiny portion of skin into his mouth and bringing his hands to cup your ass over the fabric of your pajamas. You moan at the touch and you press your body firmly against his.

"Is this okay?" He asks, sucking another bite into the skin of your neck.

You roll your head back onto the pillow under you, giving him more space. The soft light reflects on his brown eyes, glazy and dusted with arousal.

"Very."

Seungmin licks a stripe up your throat, all the way to your ear, and he gently rolls you on the bed until you are laying completely on your back. Even if his touch is light, you wince when he lays a hand on your stomach, slipping his fingers under your waistband. He dips his head to kiss the corner of your mouth, and then at the exposed skin of your collarbones, where the collar of your pajamas has slipped to the side.

You gasp when he slowly slips his hand underneath your pants and his fingers find your underwear. You stop tensing your legs, letting them fall apart slowly, and his fingers brush lower, over your inner thighs.

You’re so sensitive like this that you feel you could explode any moment now. The warmth of the room, combined with all the hormones flooding your body, heighten every little touch.

Seungmin's knuckles brush against the fabric of your cotton panties, and he slips a finger under the elastic band, finally pulling them off together with your pants. The induments fall on the floor, and that's when you remember your conditions.

"Minnie... I think we should grab a towel."

Seungmin kneels on the mattress in between your parted legs, and grab your knees to keep them open. "I don't care about the towel."

You are about to protest when one of Seungmin's hands slips lower and you feel the first brush of his fingers on you. A moan escapes from your mouth and your eyes flutter shut. And when he finally touches you, you keen.

He cups you fully, his palm resting over your pulsating core and thumb starting to rub your clit. You feel his pad tickling the tight bundle of nerves before dipping his fingers lower to tease at your entrance.

"Fuck."

You smell your own blood and arousal thick in the air, and it's so primal and raw that you feel lightheaded.

Seungmin presses in, his fingertip just dipping into you, and you drop your head against the pillow with a long a whine.

"You look beautiful." He murmurs. He inches his middle finger deeper and you can feel the squelching noise your pussy is letting out. The gushing sound reverberates in the room and it makes your head spin.

He presses the heel of his hand down and grinds it against your core, while he places his other hand on the lowest part of your belly.

"You look so good between my legs." You breathe out, circling your hips into his touch. His finger is fully inside inside you, but you are so wet that you need something more to feel stuffed.

Seungmin chuckles and he kisses your abdomen, pushing his finger in and out and pulling lewd noises out of you.

"Give me another one."

"Yes." He eases another finger into you, circling your folds with his pad before fucking it into you.

"Good boy."

He holds your body steady with his arm around your left thigh. He crooks his fingers to rub against the spongy spot inside you and your leg twitches. Your whole body is thick with desire and you feel so sensitive that you could come just from the obscene sound of Seungmin fucking your own blood into you.

He keeps you open like this for a few minutes, thrusting his fingers inside, and then smearing all of your liquids around your folds. Then he curls them again deeper into you.

When he slides his third finger in, you can feel yourself dripping on his wrist. And it should be gross, it should be revolting, but the only thought your brain can produce is hot hot hot hot. You bring your hand down and grab Seungmin's forearm, regulating his pushes and feeling his muscles flexing under his skin as he fuck you steadily.

"I wan' taste." Seungmin hums after a minute. His chocolatey eyes are staring hungrily at the way you pussy ingulfs his fingers.

"Yes, fuck. Taste me." You moan, the noises stuck in your throat come out groggy and low.

You drop the hand that was holding his arm and Seungmin just leans in, tongue lolling out of his mouth before he brings his lips on your pussy, flicking his warm muscle on your clit.  

You hiss and your body tense up feeling Seungmin get lost in you. He closes his lips around your bundle of nerves and he sucks, hard.

"Seungmin."

You moan, hips bucking into his face while he dips his tongue against your entrance and you let out an audible gasp. Your eyes flick down to meet his, fully blown out with arousal. He pulls his tongue out and he keeps giving kitten licks, as if he was savoring a rich glass of wine.

Your head fall back on the pillow as you let him continue. Seungmin brings his fingers to your entrance once again, and he push just his index in, licking a fat strip from your entrance to your clit, purring with enjoyment.

"Taste good?" you ask, and you sound out of breath. Everything is so hot around you and you feel more drops of blood gushing out of you.

"You cannot believe how good." Seungmin whispers, looking up to meet your eyes and licking you deep at the same time.

The whole room is almost dark, the few lights that are still on don't allow you to see Seungmin in his interity. But it's enough for you to see him almost suffocating himself in your drooly cunt with your blood smeared on the corner of his mouth.

"Baby... Min, god. Need you inside."

Seungmin hums against your folds and sucks one more time before he wipes his mouth on his own wrist, pressing a wet kiss on your inner thigh.

He reaches down to fumble with the elastic band of his pants, clumsily tugging his erection free from the constriction of his underwear as he leans into you and smashes his lips against yours. You moan loudly when he opens his mouth and swirls his tongue inside, the metalic taste of your blood filthy and intoxicatic. Seungmin bites on your lower lip, and then he soothes it with his tongue. Everything is so raw that you feel yourself getting close already.

"It's not gonna be impressive." He whispers, bringing his hand down to messily stroke himself, thrusting into his own fingers just a couple of times. You can feel his tip bumping into your hip, all red and puffy, precum dribbling on your skin.

"I didn't touch you". You huff on his lips, licking his cheek and biting it lazily.

"You tasted too good. I almost came." He admits. He brings his cock in front of your pussy and he slides its chubby head on your clit. There is a mess of blood, spit and slick all mixing together and you moan at the feeling.

"Don't care. I am close. I jus' need your cum."

Seungmin swallows, fidgeting a little as his cock taps against your swollen clit. You circles your hips against him and your pussy catches the tip. You kiss him.

"Baby, Minnie. Wanna see my blood and your cum leak out of me after you fuck me nice and hard?"

Seungmin lets out a small noise at that, biting his lip. You can tell he is close by the way his breathes come out staggered.

"Yes, please". He agrees, finally pushing himself inside of you in one thrust, trying his best not to come immediately.

You moan pleasantly at the strech as he bottoms out. You feel his swollen balls rest on the fat of your thighs and from the sound you hear, you are making a mess on the bed sheets under you. You try to remember why is this the first time you are doing this, and you cannot find a reason.

Seungmin is shivering on top of you, and he delivers a first shallow push. You sigh in pleasure and he starts rocking his hips against yours. The wet sounds fill the room together with Seungmin's sweet hiccups. He held back for too long, and now he cannot help himself no more.

You cup his chin with your hands and you press a light kiss on his lips.

"You like it Minnie, uh? How long did you wait for this? You could have asked, you know. I would have said yes from the first time. I would have let you shove your cock inside me and cover it in blood. All nice and wet for you. Nasty boy."

Seungmin blushes heavily as you open youd legs, lowering a hand to spread apart your folds.

"Cum inside me, c'mon."

His thrusts are messy and errating, unable to bring himself to look at you in the eyes out of embarrassment. You dig your nails into his broad shoulders and he whines loudly as he pushes frenetically into you.

It is just a matter of time considering how close both of you have been from the start. The wet sounds that come with every thrust, together with the sight of your pussy stretched around his cock, are so sinful that Seungmin has to look away, a tight ring of slick and blood forming on his girth.

"G'na cum." He stutters, giving a few hard thrusts.

You nod and bring your hand in between your bodies to start rubbing at your puffy clit. The pressure combined with Seungmin's thrust is enough to bring to to the edge in a few seconds, and with your free hand you cup his face and you kiss him deep.

"Cum, baby boy. Fill me up."

Seungmin trembles and gives two final pushes inside of you before hitting his limit, groaning out as he cums. His fingers grips tight at your legs as he spurts hot cum all over your walls.

You whine as you feel his sperm coating your insides, dragging your nails down his back and letting out a loud moan as you finally cum around him, pussy swollen and tight, milking him till his last drop.

After what it seems to be hours, Seungmin collapses onto you and pants on your neck, his soft bangs all sweaty and curly on his face. You catch your breath for a few seconds before feeling him pulling out.

As his softening cock is pulled out of you, you feel all of your liquids leaking out of your entrance, mixed with his cum. You whine and Seungmin kisses your chin.

"Did I hurt you? Are you alright?"

"You didn't hurt me. I am great." You move your head to face him and he kisses your cheek. Then your nose. Then your lips. "I am just concerned about the state of our bed."

"Oh, well. I think Jeff Dahmer had a cleaner bed." He chuckles, after taking a quick look at the sheets underneath. "It's my fault. I will clean them myself."

"You better." You laugh. Seungmin laughs with you and it's a soft exhalation of breath that tickles your cheek.

"Yes ma'am". He shifts a little in your embrace, and you turn over so your cheek can rub against his shoulder.

"Does it still hurt?" He asks.

You let it out on a satisfied sigh, your cramps long forgotten. “Nope.”

"Good." He smiles softly and he kisses you on your forehead. You wrap your arms tightly around him and bite his shoulder.

"How can you always know... wait, no, it doesn’t matter."

The voices of your kdramas are still a background noise.

Seungmin chuckles. "I told you. I love you. I always know."

©️ jilixthinker, 2024. please do not copy, translate, or republish my works anywhere.

[gabgabwrites]

GREEN EYED PSYCHO | Patrick Bateman

summary ⇝ Patrick wasn’t fond when he found out you were going to Dorsia with Paul, one of his least favourite people ever, so he decided he’d take things into his own hands to scratch that insatiable itch.

warnings ⇝ starts out with Paul like a lot of Paul, language, jealousy drinking, death, murder, gore, blood, literal psychos… reader is kinda ditzy, mdni

based off this ask

dead dove do not eat <- just in case.

please note this fic is triggering, if you cannot handle reading about literal murder happening before your very eyes, then this one isn’t for you! You have been warned.

Paul Allen had invited you to Dorsia, fucking Dorsia for dinner, and Patrick was livid. You and Patrick had a complicated relationship to say the least. You didn't have a label, yet. He was so drawn by your beauty then trapped by your insanity.

Patrick bit down on his bottom lip once you had left to go for this dinner, violent and gruesome thoughts flooded his mind. Yet here you sat, under the twinkling lights of Dorsia, its expensiveness you could barely touch.

Paul sat across from you, a charming smile on his pale, sharp face. He was gorgeous, yes, and he had on a well-tailored and no doubt expensive suit that accentuated his features. It was a dark black with blue undertones, double-breasted as well. His dark brown hair was smoothed back, like a wave of auburn.

"You look beautiful tonight," he said, raising his champagne glass and offering a suave smile.

"Thank you, Paul," you replied, raising your glass before taking a sip. The rich flavors, sweet yet bitter, swirled on your tongue before dipping into your throat.

"You're welcome," he responded smoothly, setting his glass down after drinking. His grey eyes scanned your figure, studying every detail about you. "That dress looks wonderful on you," he complimented. "Who's the designer?"

You batted your eyelashes, a giggle pouring from your lips. "McQueen," you said, your fingers flicking at the lush, pastel blue fabric.

Paul raised his brows slowly, his grey eyes lighting up. "Alexander McQueen?" He leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table. "That's a fantastic designer. Very expensive as well."

"The one and only," you nodded. "It was a gift."

"From a past boyfriend?" Paul guessed, a smirk pulling at the edge of his lips as he glanced down at the table to adjust his suit sleeve.

You shook your head. "Step-mother."

"Oh?" The smirk on Paul's face didn't disappear. In fact, it only grew as he propped his chin up on a fist. "Your step-mother?" he repeated, a hint of amusement in his tone as he raised a brow.

"Yes, Paul, you know. The woman who married my father?"

"Yes, I'm aware of what a stepmother is," he responded with a chuckle. "But it's not very often that you hear of a stepmother buying her stepdaughter pricey gifts like McQueen."

"What can I say? We just have a great bond," you shrugged.

"That's wonderful to hear," he replied, taking another sip of his wine. Paul seemed to be enjoying himself tonight, eyeing you from across the table like a puma ready to pounce on its prey. "Any other designer pieces in your wardrobe?"

"Just a Hermes bag, but that's all for big brand names."

"Ah, Hermes," he leaned back in his booth, crossing his arms as the smirk on his face widened. "Another expensive brand. It seems your wardrobe is worth more than most people's annual salaries."

You snickered at his words. "Paul, may I ask why you invited me out to dinner?"

The smirk disappeared from Paul's face at your question, his face morphing into a look of nonchalance. He took a sip of his wine, setting the empty glass on the table. "I wanted to treat a pretty woman to an expensive dinner," he responded smoothly. "Is that wrong?"

"No, Paul. Not at all," you smiled, just as the waiter came to take your first order.

"Let's see," Paul grabbed the menu. It was made of brown leather and had golden letters etched into it, like an iron-branded pig, just luxurious. "I'll have your finest steak, and seasonal vegetables, and how about a side of the carbs too, and the lady will have the lobster with the hand-cut potato wedges, and a side of greens."

You didn't mind that Paul ordered for you. You just laced your fingers together and rested your chin on them, watching the waiter walk off with the menus.

"So, Paul," you began, trying to pierce through the polished veneer he always presented. "What have you been up to lately?"

He smiled, a glint of something unreadable in his eyes. "Oh, the usual. Business meetings, networking events, a bit of travel here and there. How about you?"

"Not much. Just trying to keep up with life. It's been hectic," you replied.

Paul reached across the table and took your hand, his touch cool and firm. "You deserve a break. Maybe we could take a trip together sometime," he suggested, his voice low and intimate.

Your heart skipped a beat at the suggestion, though you couldn't help but wonder about his true intentions. "That sounds lovely," you said, trying to keep your tone light.

The conversation continued, flowing easily despite the undercurrent of tension. Paul was a master of charm, effortlessly keeping you engaged with stories of his travels and business ventures. Yet, every so often, his eyes would darken, and you could sense something deeper lurking beneath the surface.

The waiter returned with your meals, placing the beautifully plated dishes in front of you. The lobster looked succulent, and the aroma of the steak made your mouth water.

"Bon appétit," Paul said, raising his glass once more.

"To a wonderful evening," you replied, clinking your glass against his.

As you ate, you couldn't shake the feeling that Paul was studying you, assessing your every move. It was both flattering and unnerving. You tried to focus on the delicious food, but your mind kept drifting back to Paul's enigmatic smile and piercing gaze.

Paul watched as you let your head roll back once you took a bite, a small moan left your lips, the lobster was buttery and fell apart in your mouth, it was silky and one of, if not, the best thing you've ever tasted. Your tongue darted out to lick the corner of your mouth, retrieving a small droplet of butter. "This is so..."

"Insufferable," Patrick grumbled, his fingers digging into the couch to fuck the white fabric in. A strand of his hair dangled over his forehead, out of place, imperfect, uncontrolled. That's how Patrick felt, he didn't feel in a lot of control.

He stood up to admire his handiwork, all couches and the floor were covered in white tarp. He fixed his red tie, straightening it, before walking to his kitchen. At the back, he had a display of artillery, each one shiny metal, and silky black.

The potatoes were just as good, crunchy golden and cooked to perfection on the outside, and soft and pillowy on the inside, tasting like garlic and thyme. "Mmm, why hadn't I come here sooner? Pat would love this place," you hummed.

"Pat?"

You blinked your eyes open and stared at Paul. "Yes, as in Patrick."

"Who's Patrick, and Patrick who?"

"Patrick. Patrick Bateman, we're sorta seeing each other," you dabbed the serviette on your bottom lip.

You watched as Paul's bottom teeth scraped the inside of his bottom lip in slight distaste. "And you didn't tell me? You're dating that asshole in my department?" His fingers curled around the polished silver wear.

"I didn't think it would matter, and Patrick's sweet, deep down. Plus, we're not even official."

Paul sighed. Paul's charming smile returned, though it was now tinged with something darker, a subtle edge that hadn't been there before. "I see. Well, I suppose everyone has their secrets," he said, his voice smooth but carrying an undertone of something you couldn’t quite place.

Back in his apartment, Patrick's mood was anything but relaxed. His fingers tapped rhythmically on the sleek, black countertop as he sipped a glass of scotch. The pristine apartment, with its minimalist design and high-end furnishings, felt like a cage tonight. He couldn't shake the image of you at dinner with Paul from his mind.

"Paul Allen," he muttered to himself, his voice low and dangerous. The name tasted bitter on his tongue. Paul was a rival, not just in business, but now in his personal life as well. The thought of you with Paul made his blood boil.

Patrick picked up a sleek, black knife, feeling the weight of it in his hand. The cold metal was comforting, a reminder of his power and control. He envisioned a hundred different ways to make Paul pay for his insolence, each scenario more violent than the last. But he knew he had to be careful, calculated. Paul was well-connected, and any rash actions could bring unwanted attention.

Setting the knife back down, Patrick took a deep breath, trying to calm the raging storm inside him. He couldn't afford to let his emotions get the better of him. Not now. He needed a plan, something that would not only remove Paul from the picture but also solidify his own position.

As he pondered his next move, Patrick's thoughts turned back to you. You were the one bright spot in his otherwise bleak existence, the one person who made him feel something other than anger and emptiness. He couldn't let Paul take you away. He wouldn't.

You felt a flicker of discomfort. Paul's reaction seemed a bit too intense for something as simple as your dating life. Trying to steer the conversation back to safer ground, you asked, "So, tell me more about your recent travels. Anywhere exciting?"

He leaned back, his expression softening slightly. "Actually, I just got back from a business trip in Tokyo. The city is incredible—so vibrant and full of life. I had meetings during the day, but the nights were my own to explore. The food, the culture, the energy—it's all so different from here."

"That sounds amazing. I've always wanted to visit Japan," you said, genuinely interested, hoping to keep the conversation light.

"You should. It's a place like no other," Paul said, his gaze softening as he recounted his experiences. "One night, I found this tiny sushi place off the beaten path. It was the best meal I've ever had. The chef was a master, each piece of sushi a work of art."

"Wow, that sounds incredible," you replied, imagining the scene. "I'd love to experience that."

"Maybe we can go together someday," Paul suggested, his eyes locking onto yours. There was a sincerity in his voice that caught you off guard.

"Maybe," you said, feeling a blush rise to your cheeks. Despite his occasional intensity, there was something undeniably magnetic about Paul.

The conversation shifted to lighter topics, and you found yourself relaxing once more. The food, the ambiance, and Paul's charm all worked together to create an unforgettable evening. As you finished your meal, Paul signaled for the waiter and ordered a bottle of their finest dessert wine.

"You've really outdone yourself tonight, Paul," you said, raising your glass in a toast.

"To memorable nights," Paul replied, clinking his glass against yours. "And to more of them in the future."

You smiled, feeling a genuine connection with him despite the undercurrent of mystery that seemed to surround him. As the evening drew to a close, you both stepped out into the cool night air, the bustling sounds of the city wrapping around you.

"Let me walk you to your car," Paul offered, his hand lightly touching the small of your back.

"That would be nice," you said, feeling a warmth spread through you at his touch. You walked side by side, the conversation continuing effortlessly. As you reached your car, Paul turned to face you, his eyes intense.

"I had a wonderful time tonight," he said softly, his hand still resting on your back.

"Me too," you replied, your heart racing a little. "Thank you for dinner. It was amazing."

"Let's do this again soon," Paul suggested, his gaze never leaving yours.

"I'd like that," you said, smiling up at him. In the cool night, a vibrant sound cut the silence. Your phone buzzed away in your purse. You fished it out and pressed answer. "Hello?"

"Come to my apartment, now," Patrick demanded, his words were angry and a definite command, but his tone was steady. "Bring Paul."

"May I ask why?"

"You have ten minutes," Patrick hung up on you, leaving you to pout before turning back to Paul.

"Actually, would you mind coming with me?" you asked, gesturing towards your car with a sly smile. Paul, intrigued and slightly aroused by the sudden shift in the evening's tone, smirked back, his eyes glinting with curiosity and something else.

"Oh? Can't get enough of me? Sure, sweet thing, I'll go with you," you gave him a big smile as you unlocked the vehicle. Paul climbed into the passengers side.

It was a seven minute drive, before you pulled up to the fancy apartments. Paul practically cornered you in the elevator, eyes hungry as he stared at you, like a starved lion staring and a lonesome gazelle.

Patrick was no where to be found, the apartment was silent. "How about we sit? Hm?" You asked Paul as you walked over to the couch, throwing your purse on the armrest before sinking into the couch, growing at the slightly scratchy tarp, the floor was also covered, except with old newspapers and magazines.

"What's with the couches? Why are they covered?" Paul asked? Walking over as he took his blazer off, folding it over the couch before sitting down, knees knocking into yours.

"It's a fashion statement, I guess. Whiskey?" You asked, plucking a crystal glass off silver tray that Patrick had on the coffee table. "It's bourbon."

"I prefer Scotch, but yes," you poured him a glass, he took it before taking a sip, rich flavours dancing on his tongue. "It tastes cheap."

"Oh no, no. If there's one thing Patty doesn't like, is cheap alcohol," and suddenly, the drink tasted bitter on Paul's tongue, but he swallowed it down. You lay your head on your hands, your arm resting on the couch as you stared at Paul with a smile.

Paul shook his head, before placing the glass down. He looked at you, blue eyes sweltering, until his breath fanned your face. "You do look beautiful tonight, absolutely breathtaking."

His fingers brushed along the expanse of your thigh. His lips drawing nearer and nearer. Until footsteps were heard from around the house, nearing the two of you. Your lips pulled down in a small frown.

"What is Marcus Halberstram doing here?" Paul asked.

You frowned in confusion before turning to see. However, standing there was Patrick.

Paul had always thought Patrick was Marcus and Marcus was Patrick since they had the same job, dressed the same and went to the same barber.

Patrick was wearing a double breasted black suit, with a red tie neatly tucked into it, a white, mesh rain coat buttoned around his chest. Your eyebrows sunk in confusion as to why the unusual attire and was about to ask, when Patrick started to speak, taking swift strides as he walked over to the wall unit where he had a decent size collection of CDs. "You like Huey Lewis and the News?"

"They're okay," Paul spoke, before downing the rest of his drink and pouring another.

"Their early work was a little too New Wave for my taste. But then Sports came out in 1983, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically."

You watched Patrick ramble, pulling out a disc from a Huey Lewis and the News album and place it delicately in the CD player, 'Hip to be Square' started playing just as Patrick exited.

You turned to Paul, the newspapers under your feet crinkled at your actions. "Why is he here? I thought it was just you and I tonight?" Paul asked.

"I...it's his apartment. I'm sorry, I do hope you'd forgive me," with platonic motives, you placed a hand sweetly on his knee.

Paul chose not to ask why Marcus was in your house when you'd spoken of Patrick, instead he lifted a hand and cradled the smooth skin of your jaw, falling victim to your alluring gaze. "It's alright," his state darkened. "I can think of a few ways to forgive you."

"And how's that?" Your voice was soft and saccharine.

Patrick went to his bathroom and scooped up an axe in his grip. When his eyes settled onto you and Paul, so close together, in what looked like intimate moment, he was furious, anger bubbler under his skin but he plastered on a smile on his tanned skin, his loafers strode against the tiled floor as he swung the axe over his shoulder to rest on the bone.

“Hey, Paul?” Patrick’s voice broke the moment, Paul’s warmth shifted away from yours as he turned to Patrick, sheer horror burst on his features before blood, blood sprayed everywhere as Patrick let out a manic scream.

You shrieked, twisting yourself to get up from the couch. “Patrick! My dress! You’ve ruined my dress!” You gasped, the once pretty, soft blue was stained red, so was your check and a portion of your arm. “You know how hard it is to get blood out?”

Patrick grunted as he let his arms swing the axe into Paul’s limp body once more before chucking it to the side, chest thumping as he let out deep breaths like a savage beast, dressed in a tux. “We’ll get a new one.”

“But Patty, this was a gift from Anne, my step-mother,” you pouted, still frowning at the dirty fabric.

A vice grip found way on your chin, Patrick gripping the bone, forcing you to look at him. An angry storm swirled beneath his brown eyes. “I said we’ll get a fucking new one,” he spat before turning you around to face the very much dead Paul. “Look at him.”

You winced under his hold, staring at the body that still twitched from muscle memory.

“Say you’re sorry.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Patrick, I didn’t mean—,” you rambled.

“I know,” Patrick sighed before his grip loosened and his arms were around you, your body pressing against his chest as he enveloped you in a hug from behind.

You spun around, no longer caring about the expensive dress and threw your arms around Patrick, a cheery smile spread across your blood coated face. “That was incredibly sexy.”

Patrick raised an eyebrow, lifting a hand to your face where his thumb grazed your bottom lip, gathering both the red, slightly purple lipstick from your lips and the bright red blood. “I thought someone with a sick and twisted mind like you would this so.”

You just giggled before planting your lips firm on his, allowing yourself to taste his lips that were always minty, always fresh. You found yourself getting lost in the kiss, both easily forgetting the dead human on the living room floor.

“Mm, I love you, Patty,” you said in the kiss.

“And I love you more, princess,” the kissing slowly died down before you had to help Patrick squeeze Paul into a dustbin bag, holding his hand the whole time he chucked the bag into a dumpster.

“We should do this again!” You squealed.

Patrick let out a breath before looking at you, under the night sky illuminated by a distant street lamp, in the alley. His fingers brushed away some hair on your cheek that clung to the drying blood. “Anything for you.”

[slickfordain]

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐭, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐬.

Warning: Yandere behavior, but we all know I always write Yandere on Tumblr. No specified gender for you. Also, reader with my personality again— since some people liked it very much.

Edit: I forgot to say the kids in Genshin are all platonic 💀

Teyvat is aware of their divine using them as a vessel. Teyvat is aware Celestia cannot defeat you either… As Celestia was obviously made by you. However, you have some concerning habits… Some are very very cute in your harem’s eyes ~ While some makes them worry for your health.

You have a problem with making your Genshin self-insert insert having such a gruesome backstory, it makes them wanna cry and hug your self-insert in their world. Apparently, your insert is indeed inserted in the game— ahah, when you shut off the screen and log off of course ♡

Perhaps, let’s say Zhongli would pick up on how you eat a lot of food… It amazes him. You even have a lot of mora, that you only spend it on food and nothing else. It… Does make him worry— But Yanfei would definitely sign the chefs to make your favorite dishes, just in case ~

Xingqiu would pick up on how you write an unfamiliar word called “Fan-fictions”. It has some Japanese words such as “Yandere” and “Tsundere”. He listened further into your works, and goodness, he has never felt so called out in his entire life when you specifically explained what Yanderes are. If you liked writing about Yanderes… You wouldn’t mind him being one for you, would you?

Childe would laugh his ass off whenever he hears you talking constantly to yourself, pretending as if you’re responding to them. But this makes him think you’re trying to communicate with him and Teyvat, makes his heart sore so much. You’re so sweet and acknowledging everyone, specifically him. ♡

Characters such as Pantalone and Baizhu have a realization you love spending Primogems on wishes, and always wasting them. So what do they do? Mischievously somehow gain Primogems for you, which you didn’t complain about at all.

People also have heard about your hatred towards Albert for being a creepy stalker. Now, this made Mondstadt furious at Albert. Not only does he stalk poor Barbara, he even dared to boldly disappoint you. (Barbatos killed him ehe)

Barbara has never felt so loved this much, she wants to bawl her eyes out — to show how much she loves and adores you.

Characters like Razor and Raiden Ei have come to realization you love sleeping around so much, they’ve gotten to know you sleep in work from time to time whenever it’s break. They take this advantage to make a setup room for you, where either of them can hold you in their arms and cuddle as they sleep against you.

Beidou, Lisa and Yae Miko would often see that you especially get easily injured. I’m not saying they’re the only ones terrified— trust me, many people in Teyvat are going to kill whoever hurt you,,, but they are the ones who ends up hearing about your condition. They’re so worried when they find out you don’t scream in pain, nor do you care about it because you’ve always been clumsy since childhood. They’re so worried, they might have a heart attack someday.

The Adeptus’ pick on the fact you like listening to “8-bit” version of music… It sounds hard to play, but they can’t deny you did have taste in music. Makes the guy from Lantern lite quest more inretested with you, and wishes to know you more! Or more so… Perhaps Enjou would take interest in this.~ He’s just as silly as you, why not?

Dainsleif notices how you stare at his character with adoration and love his design oh so much, that he also knows you love drawing, just like Albedo. Hearing this, Albedo loves you to death, like… Literally.

Aether hearing you’re also unstoppable that even Unknown God can’t stop you? Goodness this boy is falling in a deep rabbit hole for falling for you~!

Paimon sees you as a mother/father figure too honestly… Paimon relates to you so much about food, and always gets so happy when you agreed by getting food. Despite your tired expression, she just wants to cry because you did not once call her an “Emergency food”.

How about your complex theories? Tighnari and Al-haitham will have a whole set of a store with written details about your theories. You did die when Teyvat was made, so makes sense why you didn’t know everything. (…. You ate popcorn and watched your show as Archon war was a thing.) Every theories, is about very interesting things.

Snezhnaya and Tsaritsa would be so happy when they find out your world was filled with snow (to those who live in a snowy weather like me), and would flex it off to other nations like cocky little bastards. They see this as a blessing, and would try getting to know your culture by just the fact you and them have snow. That would mean you wouldn’t be cold in their place, right?

How about Fontaine being in horror when they find about your Creepypasta and FnaF books? They’ll keep themselves aware of the woods and will isolate any innocent beings from anywhere that involves woods and trees. Jeff the killer and Jeffrey C. Hodek (canon Jeff) definitely traumatized numerous of the people in Fontaine, considering their skins got burned a lot.

Yelan being also surprised she and other rich people in Teyvat, are in fact not the richest people in their own world after learning that… Moras aren’t actually real money? I can see Mona laughing at their misery, even though she’s sad she doesn’t exist literally in your world. How the fuck is she supposed to kiss hug you huh?

Venti and Nahida being so drawn to your morning voice, hearing you cursing as they didn’t know what the meanings behind those languages meant. Nahida would stare at your face in awe, listening to your stories as Venti would too, making a song about it probably— only for it to go downfall when they realize you occasionally hurt yourself in work. They’re horrified. YOU FELL OFF THE STAIRS??! They’re gonna faint.

Cyno who is in love with a heated face when he learns you love jokes, hearing you making a dark humor that just has him down bad for you— and ends up laughing. Your dark humor never goes too far, and he just loves it that you can accept his jokes. He is definitely going to be very loyal towards you…

Imagine Scaramouche/Wanderer lovingly gazing at your side view as you try to do makeup real quickly before playing your game. It didn’t matter. He loved your little habit of always doing your makeup first— and then play. He’s patient, and will always try his best… Ends up killing Hilichurls under one second, oops~

With everyone in Teyvat learning about your habits, learning about your talents…

They officially are definitely in love with you. They will always love you. They know when it’s you, even if someone tries to look like you and act like you to get attention. It will never work. They don’t care what form you take, because they’re obsessed and in love with the idea of you. They will only love you, you you you. You’re genderless? They’ll love you, you’re a bully? They’ll love you. It doesn’t matter what form you take.

They will always love you, [Name].

I wanna do a small love hc with Dainsleif and Pantalone x reader because I’m in love with them ♡ but I also wanna do persona insert x canon… Man.

[shotoyami]

Could do gambit x f reader basically f reader is a normal person working and is saved one day by gambit in a fight and offers to take her home and basically gets to know her and take her out on a date’s <33

prenotes: Gambit beloved <33 !!! The silly little Cajun man, he has my heart… I loved writing this sm, super cute, might make a part two if anyone would like to see that!!!

Thank you so much for the request, anon<3

pairing: Remy LeBeau/Gambit + female reader

warnings: none, yet again!

genre: fluff, that’s all to be seen here

notes: so please ignore the jokes I make in here if anyone doesn’t like them, I had to make them as a retail worker and the usual daily struggles of retail. but if anyone laughs, I’m glad! (please respect your retail workers, they don’t get paid enough or appreciated enough)

word count: 900+

Sir, this is a Walmart…

Work. Mediocre, stressful, annoying. At least, that’s a normal day on the job. Another day at some high end grocery store that cannot be named here, just dealing with the same customers to expect every day. The entitled old people, the crass young people that shouldn't be without adult supervision, crying babies that the mother literally is not even a foot away from and doesn’t care about, and so much more stupidity. 

“You young kids and not respecting their elders. I swear, it’s like I always talk to the same person no matter where I go unless it’s a machine!” Like now, where an older woman is harassing me.

I force a civil smile onto my face, knowing everything is both on video and on audio, and that anything against store policy could get me fired. “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. Unfortunately, I can’t bend the rules for anyone. If I change the price for you, I’d have to change the price for everyone in the store- which can’t happen, of course.” I try to explain to the woman– which is stupid, because when do entitled people ever listen to reason? She starts shouting, which is to be expected, and of course a supervisor comes over, trying to gauge what’s happening, and now she’s screaming at them too. The supervisor gives me a glance and I just put my hands up defensively and turn and walk away– because I don’t get paid anywhere near enough to deal with this crap.

I fall into the breakroom’s couch with a long sigh, making one of my coworkers giggle. “Gosh (y/n), tell us all how you really feel girl.” I groan, but let out a small laugh, finding humor in my coworker’s words. “Was it Sharon again? Or Beth?”

I sat up as I respond, “Neither, it was Martha.” My coworker grimaces at the name, before she sighs.

“Yikes. I’m sorry girl, she’s a pain.” I snicker, nodding in agreement. “But have you seen that new looker that’s been coming in recently?” That sparks my attention, and I sit fully toward her, attentively. “No? Okay, so there’s this guy that’s been coming in, right? And he’s got weird eyes and a southern accent, and he flirts with everyone.” I nod along as she speaks, humming afterward in thought.

“No, I haven’t seen or met him yet. He sounds interesting?” She nods in agreement, but we’re interrupted as our supervisor comes in, rolling his eyes.

“Martha.” Is all he says, making both of us giggle. “You’re good to go back on the floor, (y/n).” I nod and hop up, making my way back out onto the sales floor.

Of course, my luck willing, there’s some weird looking people (hey, we’re not trying to judge here, but just imagine this the same kinda way as describing your neighborhood crackhead) getting into a fight on the sales floor. I stand there, awkwardly, because I’m not trying to get into the middle of all of that. 

As I go to shuffle on by, because I don’t get paid enough to care, some kind of metal comes flying at me. My survival instincts aren’t survivaling because I just stare at my impending doom for a moment, accepting my fate and all, until a card with a purple looking hue just flies in front of me and blows up the metal??????

Whilst pondering my existence and how I didn’t just die, I get grabbed and my snatcher???? savior???? just kind of runs, cursing in some other language – french? Once again accepting my fate, I don’t exactly struggle or anything because this is all on camera and surely  someone will clock me out for this or just give me extended pay time for dealing with this crap.

The person finally stops and sets me down in the back of the parking lot, and I find that it’s my coworker’s deemed ‘new looker’. “Ya’ alri’, cher?” I slowly nod, probably looking like a big eyed fish or a barn owl or something. He chuckles, offering a hand, “The name’s Remy LeBeau, ya’ welcome fa’ the save. How’s ‘bout yous make it up ta’ me by lettin’ me walk ya’ on home? Ya’ off the clock?” Again, I just nod stupidly – my coworkers can clock me out, it should be fine. Fortunately, I use public transportation anyway, so it all works out.

Of course, everyone’s staring at the man next to me. Not so much for his “good looks,” but moreso for his odd appearing eyes – red on black. The entire subway is…rather quiet for once. It’s a nice change, a welcome change. He’s the one that breaks the silence as we get off of the subway, “Ya’ from ‘round these parts?” He sort of leans over me, smirking but still being quite respectful. He’s probably fishing for something in common, given his thick southern accent.

“No, I’m from the next state over.” He slowly nods, humming and keeping the conversation going similarly until we arrive at my front door. “So, I be seein’ ya’ again? Here, le’mme give ya’ my fone number.” He quickly comes up with a way to scribble down his digits, handing the paper to me. “An’ maybe we can go on a nice little date or somethin’ soon, cher?”

A goofy smile comes onto my face at this words, a bit shocked that all it took was a bit of small took to charade this man, but I nod in agreement nonetheless. “I’d appreciate if it involved me not being in immediate danger next time?” He chuckles and nods.

“See ya’ then, darlin’.”

[sillybruja]

roasting your moon sign pt 1. (Aries - Gemini) p.s. this one's gonna hurt your wittle feelings 🥲

Aries Moon

OH MY GOD. SHUUUUUUT UPPP. Seriously, you don't have an off button and talking to you is very frustrating. It's kind of like you jut like hearing yourself talk, which is fine, but the rest of us are suffering. And Holy lack of emotional regulation! When you are upset, you are really upset, eh? Seriously, you cannot control your emotional reactions even if you tried your hardest. If you feel triggered, you have to let the whole room hear about it 🙄And one more thing -- why do you think speaking louder makes your argument valid? It's kind of like listening to a toddler start screaming because crying was not getting their mom's attention good enough. It's fine to have emotional outbursts once in a while, but try to remember you're an adult, not a six-year-old. Communication takes more than scream-crying until you are heard / get your way. Btw, y'all are some of the most delulu people out there! It's like, everyday is a rollercoaster for you emotionally and you kidnapped the rest of us to have to suffer with you. Yeah, that's right, you can be insufferable and the people around you feel it. Are you even aware of that, though? Or are you more focused on creating a narrative that makes you the victim? Your lack of impulse control is a whole other thing. We get that you react first and think last, but to have the audacity to blame others for your decisions/actions is wild. Oh you punched a wall? No, that person didn't make you do that, you did that. Oh, you're insecure so you acted out of character? No actually, it's not their fault because they are secure with themselves. It's all on you. Guess what? Accountability is not the same as being held at g*npoint. You will not die. You will not wither away. You are actually wrong a lot and that's fine, but you don't have to be such a tool about taking responsibility. It gives everyone in your life the ick, and people are probably tired of walking on egg shells around you. 🤷‍♀️

Moon in 1st House:

Okay, drama Queen/King!🙄😅Besides the fact that you literally wear your heart on your sleeve, you are also so dramatic and for what, special effect? Seriously, you emotionally respond to things with the same voracity and urgency as you would an actual emergency. You can literally stub your toe and have a meltdown over it, saying that was your "13th reason" likeee y'all are D R A M A T IC and because I also have this placement, I know it's because it actually feels really dramatic but tbh it's not that deep. You just feel too deeply which is fine but guess what? You're still responsible for your emotions, no one else is. You sacrifice your power too often looking for acceptance and love, and then expect the people who you give said power, to reciprocate the same energy but they never do because what you are really expecting from them is you and that's pretty messed up tbh. You gotta let people be! your attachment issues are showing. BTW, being the sacrificial lamb in every situation does not actually gain you aura points, it just makes it obvious that you lack boundaries. The People around you take advantage of you because 9/10 times, you have made it pretty clear very early on that taking advantage of your kindness can be easy to do. Its insane that people have projected on you your whole life, and yet, you still can't detect when its happening. People are not mean to you because they hate you lol but the fact that you make everything about yourself makes it even easier for these people to project their problems onto you. Why wouldn't they? You are all consuming, and you take on the responsibility of everyone's actions, making yourself a stomping ground for ab*se. Your problem is, you are looking to find you in everyone and you will constantly be disappointed because that's something you will not find. Learn to be comfortable with others showing you how they feel, and accept it for what it is instead of for what you want it to be. Your scope of other's emotions needs work -- there's a whole universe outside of your own mind. You gotta learn to consider others emotional needs and try to walk in the shoes of other people once in a while and you will see that not everything is not in relation, caused by, or about you. Also, you have the same emotional regulation as a toddler sometimes. Stop making your problems, everyone's problems. Go to therapy.

Taurus Moon

OKAAAAAY, SLOTH. How do you expect to have the rich bitch bougee life you keep creating pinterest boards about if you won't even get off the couch and take small steps to reach those goals? Queen of "manifestation", all things "come to me naturally". Can we cut the bs and call a spade, a spade? You are lazy. You know deep deep down that you have the gift of the moon as your placement's exalted, but you have proven so many times that you prefer comfort over work. You're sitting there, waiting for the universe to deliver all the things you want in life, but your uninspired, bland, lazy ass won't even break a sweat for half of what you want in this world. YOU are the reason you do not seem to accomplish as much as you want to, because you do not challenge yourself. Do you feel incapable? I would if I'd rather live in repetitive and tired routines instead of challenging myself to grow. Speaking of growth.... do you even know what that is? Or are you still holding the same opinions of people that you had in middle school? Guess what, people grow and change... it is time to catch up! Why are you more comfortable with clinging onto the past, especially onto an old way of thinking? How is that actively helping your life? Be so for real. You cling & obsess over the past because its easier to revictimize yourself & build resentment than it is to take responsibility and make changes. Why is it more comfortable being stubbornly wrong, instead of owning up to your ways?

Moon in 2nd House

STAY OUT OF MY WALLET & GET A JOB! Seriously -- for someone who needs & craves financial stability, you sure will do a whole lot of nothing to get it. It's so weird because you manage to do absolutely nothing, and the people around you end up picking up your tab. What's it like being the community leech? And another thing... why is it that you feel you only have value when the 'yes men' around you over compliment you, or give you attention? Why is it that you cannot regulate your sense of self worth, but instead need to feed your self-esteem through manipulation, clinginess, and insecurity? Your relationships are probably prone to being unstable because of this. You are too much. Your expectations are too much, and they do not even match what you are willing to give back. You can't expect other people to pour from an empty cup just because You can't seem to fill your own. Your erratic self-esteem issues have an impact on your closest loved ones but your mindset is in the gutter because of how harshly you cling onto old mindsets and negative beliefs. Your greediness is not justified, no matter how much you have been hurt. You seem to never take your pain out in a healthy way, or on the person who actually inflicted the pain. If people come too close, you automatically assume there's alternative motives, even if there's no reason to think that. You act more like an 8H moon in your lowest vibration, and ironically enough, you are "triggered" and angry with other people who act this way. Your self-awareness is probably is as little as your confidence because you seem to live in your own bubble, and cannot understand how your own projections you put on other people are hurtful and make you look very weak. Your people pleasing tendencies will never grant you the stability you seek and until you take accountability, responsibility, and action to secure the life/lifestyle you want for yourself, you will always think shrinking yourself through people pleasing equals safety. But ya know, BE DELULU.

Gemini Moon

OHMYGOD CAN YOU SHUTTHEFUCKUP?! Yes, your friends do think you are annoying as fuck. It's because you never know when to STFU. And the worst part? It's not like you don't know you talk a lot... you do. you know you can dominate a conversation like no other. You are aware of the snotty asshole you sound like when you articulate and use word play to your advantage, and you don't care lol. If you're not that person, you're the opposite - you're weird af, you still never shut up, you have weird af obsessions, collections, and stories, and chances are you're easily forgotten about 😅 You share random facts with your friends all the time and at first it was really funny but because you never know when to stop, your friends are over it. When you talk, they sigh. It's because being your friend is exhausting. It's always the GEMINI MOON SHOW!!!! and you never give them (or anyone) the space to express themselves. You think you know what everyone wants and because you are lowkey controlling, you make decisions for others -- can you be any fuckin' worse? No wonder people don't really like hanging out with you lol. By the way, you are so dense. For being a mercury ruled moon, you would think you'd be better at reading people and yet, you constantly miss the red flags in others. What's it like being a door mat? It's like you know they hurt you, you know they are sus, and you don't care. LOL btw y'all are really big cry babies and so sensitive sometimes. You'd think that being a gemini moon would make you easy going, but you walk around and act like you have a stick up your ass. Your submissive nature is 10000% your decision but you have this talent of blaming other people for why you have codependency issues, let's call you the King/Queen of Projection. You act out, you push people away, you start fights and for what? For people to pay attention to you? lol that's sad. Why do you feel you are only worthy of getting attention when there's controversy? When you act out of character? Is it because you feel like no one cares about what you have to say unless you're being the worst version of yourself? Is that why you are so skilled at wearing masks with people? Maybe if you spent more time figuring your shit out, spending more time with yourself, and less time giving a fuck about others, you'd be able to heal the identity you shattered trying to morph into whatever everyone else wanted you to be. Basically, FIGURE OUT WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE SO YOU CAN STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE TO SECURE PEOPLE.

Moon in 3H

WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?! You wishy-washy bitch you lol. (pls don't take this seriously this is a roast ok? ily) But fr, who even are you? Because you switch up your entire personality depending on the group of people you're around. You think no one notices this but I promise you they do and they're tired of your shit. A lot of people probably find you unreliable because you also seriously lie...over dumb things too? Like, who lies about what they had for breakfast? Pfft. This need to maintain a certain level of "mystery" is actually kinda cringe because you are actually so transparent. Also, you do realize you cause a lot of your own problems, right? No one can drive people away better than you can, huh? :) Your need for banter and excitement is all fun and games until it became really fucking annoying. People do not like to constantly be poked and picked at and tested. Especially if you think you're some prize to win over. Speaking of being some prize... your ego though? It's like to feel intelligently superior, your say a whole lot of nothing polished in purple prose to humiliate others. Imagine being so insecure with yourself that you feel the need to verbally tear down the ones who are just plain doing better than you in life. Your problem is that you spend so much time focusing on the people around you, wanting to gain their approval, wanting to be the center of attention, that you actually end up losing sight of your identity and you become this annoying asshole 😅🙈 By the way, you definitely do talk soooo much shit about people, and yes it is so unnecessary. MAYBE IF YOU STOPPED YAPPIN YOUR TRAP ABOUT PEOPLE, THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WOULDN'T ALWAYS LEAVE YOU or fantasize about leaving you for your much hotter family member, sibling, or friend 🤭

Pt. 2-4 are coming x

[universe-friday]

EXCERPT #26:

Hello. I hope somebody is listening.

[…]

Thalia has been very friendly lately, old sport.

And I mean literally friendly…

Call me crazy, but how can someone kiss me and listen to me speak so highly of them just to go back to calling me ‘bro’ and ‘dude’... Huh? That’s not normal, right?

I wouldn’t know! I… haven’t really done this before…

Old sport, I know she likes me. You’d expect me to start doubting it now, right?

But I know... Have you ever just known? The way they act around you, maybe even by the way they initiated a kiss… I am many things, old sport, but I am not oblivious.

Why are they trying to push it away… push me away? Am I dangerous? Repulsive? Do the times we spent together mean nothing to her, despite meaning everything to me?

I just can’t think straight right now, old sport. Maybe I’ll just have to wait for this rollercoaster to inevitably stop.

I want to fight for it - I’m willing to fight for it. But I don’t even know who my enemy is yet. Is it her? Or is it myself…?

[…]

I was wondering around late last night, February. I found myself at the mouth of this tunnel. The entrance is illuminated by street lamps, yet, look any further and complete darkness stares right back at you. I was always afraid of the dark.

I was looking for that light, the one they always talk about, at the end of the tunnel. You were always that light, February. I even tried to call out to you.

For a moment, I could’ve sworn I heard you call back.

Perhaps, you, February, finally answer, but how can one be sure it's not just an echo? The voice responds, copying and mocking your own words and pleas. If you're shouting back, February, you have to be louder than that.

The definition of love is so old-fashioned. In every language, I'll shout from the mountain tops how much I am in love with you, truly. If only people would know what I really meant by it. If only you really knew what I meant by it.

If you're shouting back, February, don't let it be dismissive. I am being clearer than I ever have been. You have to understand that I'm serious. I need you to understand.

I need you to understand this is why I do everything I do. I do it for you. The calls, these letters… At this point, I know there’s no escaping the City. But you’re my escape from reality, February. If you ever do answer, I’m free. But for now, I am restricted to merely shouting to a void and calling it by your name.

You must wonder too what to do with that information. I know. But you could at least show me you’re listening. That you hear my pleas. If you are trying to move on with your life, tell me, because I will remain here until I do. How could I ever move on if I didn’t find out if it was you in that tunnel?

Besides, how could I know it was you? After all, we are in Universe City. The sound could have easily been another one of those dreaded cyborgs.

If it’s you, February, I am willing to hear you out, always. But you must emerge from the shadows and take a step into my light. You have to show me.

Perhaps if I cannot see you, I should stop trying to contact you. Am I latching onto a rotting idea that I should just let die? Is that what we are?

How am I ever supposed to get over this if I continue talking to you? I wake up in dread and heartache every day, knowing you’re not here. And, although the City is not a great alternative, I either live my life here or continue to do so with that ache… That dread.

This is no way to live. Any level-headed person would agree… If I can’t hear from you, February, perhaps you shouldn’t hear from me.

[...]

[stuckinapril]

don’t know if you’ve already shared (or if you wouldn’t like to) but i’d love to hear about your resolutions and goals for this year!

Hi so sorry for how late this is!! I have quite a few!

Ins —

Being more decisive. Trusting myself w calling the shots. Just making a decision and sticking w it.

Financial literacy

More reading. Just more.

Attacking things I’m uncomfortable with instead of shying away from them.

More silence. I don’t need to have my earphones in all the time

More time w family!!! I need to put in as much effort to connect w them as I do w my friends

Green tea every night

More pictures. I have a serious problem of just not being incentivized to take any

More scientific literature for fun!!

Piggybacking off that point—making it instinctive to apply things I study to real life situations. This is a niche one but it just helps me process stuff faster and I just think it’s a super dope learning technique

Pushing myself harder. It’s just not my preference to be mediocre.

Nourishing myself w my own affirmations. Cutting out my need for other people’s validation

Educational documentaries

Making more of an effort to connect w my Arab heritage

Being my natural self. It’s okay if I’m not bubbly all the time. Sometimes I just want to chill

Whole foods

Less phone time (I say this every year but like I want 2024 to be the year I’m truly disconnected/using my phone in a healthy way)

Body oils!

More tennis dates w friends!

10k steps a day

Sticking religiously to my hour by hour schedule

Keeping promises to myself as ardently as I keep promises to others

Being more bold w fashion!!

Hitting the gym 5 days a week

Reading more literature in Arabic and French

Learning how to cook. I cannot live off Siggi’s for the rest of my life lol

Exploring more music genres

Learning the piano!!

No longer feeling guilty for withholding information. Privacy is not a bad thing.

Getting more and more independent!!

Becoming the friend I want to be. Other people need to show up as well, but I can’t hold people up to standards I myself can’t reach.

Outs —

Centralizing luxury brands. Thinking that price equates to quality. The fact of the matter is quality equates to quality. Price is irrelevant.

Relying on snap judgment responses to situations. I need to learn to wait at least 15 minutes. I can be impulsive asf

Jumpiness. Nervous energy. I just want to be more calm and controlled in how I carry myself. I want to exude self-assuredness

Checking my phone first thing in the morning!!

Drinking less than 3 liters of water a day

Being available all the fucking time. If someone has an issue w me for being busy, maybe they’re not someone I want in my life in the first place.

Being too forgiving. Not immediately allowing someone back into my life doesn’t make me a bitch. Immediately running to fix things w someone doesn’t make me selfless. Being the bigger person in situations where I was nowhere near in the wrong doesn’t make me mature. It’s just symptomatic of a lack of boundaries.

Consuming dumb shit in the name of “keeping up w pop culture.” I don’t care about celebrity controversy #7282727. I don’t care about celebrity selfie #827226. It doesn’t elevate my life in any way. I legit just don’t care. And this goes for real life gossip w friends too

Taking too long to text back!! A day is fine, but sometimes I take longer and I think that’s a shitty trait to have. I can absolutely afford to respond to people faster.

Too much chocolate!! I’m a sweet tooth but I must preserve my skin/overall health

Motivation over discipline. I need to be attuned to discipline always.

Control freak antics. I can’t control people. It’s not my responsibility. They’ll act how they act. All I can do is control my reaction to it

Rumination/unhealthy venting. When I’m done w something, I’m done w something.

Overcompensating for other people’s shortcomings. It’s not my responsibility to coddle others. It’s okay if something is too much for me.

Having no boundaries w others. People aren’t entitled to private information. It doesn’t make me deceptive to withhold things—it just makes me selective. People need to earn private details about me.

Curating things I like. I simply like what I like. It’s not that deep.

[fairlyang]

Bad idea right? 🕷️

bad idea right? by olivia rodrigo but it's you being down bad for your ex

w/c: 2.6K

pairing: exbf!miguel x drunkfem!reader

tags: 18+ smut. mention of being drunk. can't help but miss him, he lives rent free in ur head, down horrendous for him, making out, fingering, only reader orgasm

Oh, hey

Haven't heard from you in a couple of months

But I'm out right now and I'm all fucked up

And you're callin' my phone, you're all alone

And I'm sensin' some undertone

And I'm right here with all my friends

But you're sendin' me your new address

And I know we're done, I know we're through

I was at the club with my friends getting drunk off a our minds like we usually do, when I get a phone call. We were sitting in a circular booth so I had Ryan by my left and Val to my right and both of them peered over my shoulder as I grabbed my phone.

We all gasped at the caller ID and they immediately tried to snatch my phone from me, I quickly pulled it down and put it between my thighs making sure to squeeze them tightly so they can't get it. "Bitch do not answer that call-" I hear Ryan say before I moved.

I grab my phone and get under the table as I hear their screams at me while I crawl away then stand up at the end of the table waving my phone, "NO!"

I answer and put the phone to my ear to hear his all too familiar voice, "Hey... I'm all alone and was hoping you could slide by.."

I bite my lip and feel my heart race at his tone, so husky and giving me the exact implication I'd expect after months of not talking. "I'm down." I respond almost immediately letting drunk me take control of my brain.

"I'll send you the address." He murmurs and then hangs up.

I sigh dreamily then look at my phone as a message came in from Miguel. The snap of a finger caught my attention as I look down at all three of my friends giving me crazy eyes. "You are not going-"

I sit down next to Val and lean my head against her shoulder as I pull up his insta and look at his pictures. "Ugh but how could I not-" I whine and show them the most recent set of pictures he's posted.

"Bitch it's been literal months-" Ella sneers shaking her head in disappointment.

"So....? I know we're done but that doesn't mean we can't fu-" I start to say as I look up at Ryan and Ella both shaking their head, "you guys are broken up!"

I roll my eyes and look down at my phone taking a closer look at the pictures of Miguel as my friends groan and Val wraps an arm around me, shaking me, "you're gonna regret it."

But, God, when I look at you

My brain goes, "Ah"

Can't hear my thoughts (I cannot hear my thoughts)

Like blah-blah-blah (blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah)

Should probably

(I should probably, probably not)

(I should probably, probably not)

I shrug and admire the way his lips were curled into a pretty smile and his dimples were out, so pretty. The sparkle in his eyes making me melt and make the butterflies reappear in my stomach like old times.

I scroll through the rest of the pictures that consisted of selfies and mirror pics with his friends. My heart skips a beat when I see him wearing the navy blue button up I always loved seeing him wear. Fuck he's so handsome... so fucking fine...

And the way his voice sounded, god I could never grow sick of it.

Seein' you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight

Hmm maybe it is a bad idea.... I mean everyone knows what happens if you hook up with your ex after months of no contact..

It won't be the end and will just be an endless cycle of calling each other, hooking up and potentially getting back together just forgetting why you broke up in the first place.

Do I really want that?

Fuck it, it's fine

Yes, I know that he's my ex

But can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

(The biggest lie I ever said)

I shake those thoughts away and grin, fuck it, it'll be fine.

"Shouldn't it be fine if two people just reconnect?" I ask and they all say "no" at the same time.

I groan, shaking my head looking at them in disbelief, "I only see him as a friend..." I lie and Ryan immediately bursts out laughing.

Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex

But can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

(I just tripped and fell into his bed)

"What?!?" I exclaim and throw my hands up.

"You do not see him as a friend-" Val cuts in and I shake my head.

"Bitch be serious for one second-" Ryan says but I cut him off, "You're all wrong!" I say when a hiccup leaves my mouth.

"You're literally drunk-" Ella says and I wave her off.

"I'm fine-"

Another hiccup.

"Alright I'll catch you guys tomorrow-" I say and stand up.

"Bitch stop you gotta really think about this-" Ryan starts but I lift a finger up and look up pretending to think, "I've thought about it...... Bye!" I say then wave goodbye as I walk to the exit hearing their shouts at me.

I open the doors and walk out feeling the cold breeze as I walk over to the parking lot. I quickly get an Uber and try to wait as patiently as I can, pacing back and forth along the sidewalk, waiting.

Now I'm gettin' in the car, wreckin' all my plans

I know I should stop, but I can't

And I told my friends I was asleep

But I never said where, in his sheets

And I pull up to your place, on the second floor

And you're standin', smiling at the door

And I'm sure I've seen much hotter men

But I really can't remember when

I see the designated car I got and quickly hop before opening Miguel's text and telling the driver the address.

He nods and starts heading there as I put on my seat belt and sigh in relief. I'm finally seeing him.

I feel a buzz from my phone and I quickly open it but groan when I see it's texts from the groupchat.

Ryan🤞🏼

I'm beating your ass tmrw

Val💅🏼

Please be safe

Ella🫶🏼

Bitch where are you

I giggle and roll my eyes, quickly typing.

What a variety...

Y/n

Going to sleep😴

I send then put my phone on dnd knowing they'll do anything to try and stop me.

I go through my archived on my insta and look through all the posts I had of Miguel and I when we were together. We were so good together. So perfect. Two peas in a pod. Yin and Yang. The apple to my eye. Whatever the fuck that meant.

I sigh and lean against the window looking out as it started to drizzle. I felt my eyes closing but I tried my best to stay awake, of all times being drunk right now would be the one time I get sleepy?

So fucked up.

The rest of the drive was a blur but i automatically paid from the app and stumbled out of the car and walked towards his new apartment.

I go through the door and then walk towards the stairs holding on to the railing because I didn't trust myself to go up steadily. I get to the top of the stairs, making it to the second floor and walk onto the hallway. I pull my dress down then fix the straps when I see a door a couple feet away open and there he was.

I tried my hardest not to smile immediately but I got closer I noticed he was the one that had a smile on his face. It sent a shiver down my spine as I walked towards him suddenly feeling nervous but the excitement rising with every step.

I feel like I've seen hotter men since we broke up but couldn't think of when or where, and didn't care to because I had him now right in front of me.

My brain goes, "Ah"

Can't hear my thoughts (I cannot hear my thoughts)

Like blah-blah-blah (blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah)

Should probably

(I should probably, probably not)

(I should probably, probably not)

My mind was going wild, heart started racing as I checked him out. Wearing a white tee and god those grey sweatpants....

I felt my breath hitch in my throat and i felt like I was going to melt just at the sight of him. I couldn't help still feeling this way towards him, I always tried to push my thoughts away whenever I thought of him but I really couldn't help that he lived rent free in my head all these months.

So of course I was going to jump at the opportunity of being with him again. In whatever way he pleased.

Seein' you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight

It's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight

"Hey." I breathe out and give him a drunken smile.

"This is a bad idea isn't it?" I say looking into his eyes praying he doesn't agree with me.

He chuckles and shrugs, "maybe..."

I was contemplating really going in, going through with this. If I do through that door I'll be stuck to him and won't be able to leave his side. I'll be glued to him and will continue to come back here.

"Well maybe it is." He mumbles looking down at my body.

I bite my lip and feel a whirlwind of emotions but the most powering one being arousal. He just looked so good.

Fuck it, it's fine

Yes, I know that he's my ex

But can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

(The biggest lie I ever said)

Fuck it.

I take a step forward and smash my lips onto his immediately wrapping my arms behind his neck as I feel his trail down to my waist. He kissed me back instantly and makes us take a few steps back to go into his apartment.

I feel one hand get off me to close the door then it's back but playing with the ends of my hair as he moves us back.

He pulls away, leaving my lips lightly shivering, quickly leading us towards his bedroom.

Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex

But can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend

(I just tripped and fell into his bed)

He closes the door and connects our lips together again, I kiss him in the neediest manner ever as he leans down making me sit on his bed. His hands go to my thighs, lightly squeezing as he bites my bottom lip then slides his tongue into my mouth.

I moan in his mouth and move my body back as I felt his hands on my lower back helping me scoot up his bed while he went down and was now hovering over me. I let his tongue explore my mouth while I tug on the ends of his curls and wrapping my legs around his waist bringing him even closer to me.

He pulls away and leaves a kiss on my cheek, then my jaw until finally goes down to my neck. Leaving open-mouthed kisses leaving me breathless and a moaning mess beneath him.

Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex

"We're still exes." I breathe out and let my head sink in into his pillow, arching my back because of the pleasure.

He hums against my skin, then sucks on his favorite spot before leaving kisses on it. I let out a shaky breath and feel my eyes flutter, I've missed him. All of him.

Can't two people reconnect?

"We're only reconnecting." I murmur and buck my hips up to have some friction, feel anything.

He groans and grinds his hips against mine making us both moan. "Fuck." He moans out and continues doing it but now faster and directly against my soaked pussy as my dress was ridden up to my thighs.

(The biggest lie I ever said)

Even deep down I knew this was going to end bad, but it was far too late. Well I mean I could just pull away right now? 

Yeah right....

(I just tripped and fell into his bed)

"Such a bad idea." He murmurs against my neck making me giggle.

"Too late now." I purr and smile as he leans in to kiss me again but with more passion, need, hunger.

My brain goes, "Ah"

Can't hear my thoughts

I kiss back with the same intensity slowly feeling his hands go down my body, first groping my tits over my dress then trailing down my stomach. He immediately went down between my thighs and rubbed circles on my sensitive clit making me gasp against his mouth. "Miguel." I cry out but he slides his tongue in my mouth quickly shutting me up and making me melt into his touch.

(The biggest lie I ever said)

"Please-" I plead when he pulls away to kiss my neck again.

"Already so wet baby." He mocks, moving my panties to the side then slides two fingers between my folds leaving me a breathless, desperate mess.

My brain goes, "Ah"

I felt like I blanked out because suddenly he was pumping his fingers into me murmuring sweet nothings into my ears while I let out whimpers and moans, "faster."

"Patience baby." He says and pecks my lips as I felt my body shaking, just needing him to fuck me faster.

Can't hear my thoughts

I move my hands to his back, lightly scratching, trailing up and down, caressing his shoulders. "Please- I need you Miguel, I need you to make me feel good. You're the only one who can- fuck-!" I moan out then scream, scratching his back with my nails.

(I just tripped and fell into his bed)

He moved his fingers faster and started curling them up almost hitting the spot that always had me reaching me orgasm fast. I felt myself clench around his fingers making him moan as the sounds of my slickness filled my ears. "You've missed me then huh mami?" He whispers in my ear making me whimper and nod.

Thoughts

Blah

Thoughts

Blah

I let out bundles of whimpers as I felt my orgasm quickly approaching, the all too familiar feeling rising in my lower abdomen. "Yes- yes I have." I moan out and move my hips as he went faster.

His fingers finally hit the spot repeatedly making me quickly reach my orgasm, "shit Miguel!!" I whimper as I come undone beneath him.

My whole body shook and I still felt my body shaking as he was slowing down, my breathing was calming down and I felt my eyes fluttering. Holy fuck.

"You did so good baby." He murmurs and leans in to kiss me softly.

I kiss him back moving my hands up to cup his face when I felt his fingers slip out. I felt my wetness drip down to my asshole and my legs continued to shake. I was speechless, I didn't think I'd cum that hard let alone have it be by him. He pulls away and brings his fingers to his lips, licking off every drop of my juices. "Mmm and you taste just as good." He moans out making me squeeze my thighs together.

"Nuh uh, spread them for me. I'm not done with you yet." He says making my eyes go wide as his brings his hands down to spread my legs for me.

[static-sulker]

Something I adore with Gale and Astarion is how both have such a background of charisma, but both use it in such different ways. On how intimacy and that form of relationship has damned them before but rebuilding slowly.

When Gale is in love, he SAYS it and is very quick to show express love and affection the moment he partners. His background of romance is with a literal GODDESS, which makes his type of romance one of sole devotion and almost worship. He is bold in his feelings, whilst maybe a bit fast. The only way he truly showed affection was in the ways of intense emotional connection.

Astarion is quick for sexual intimacies, but takes far longer to put a name to it all. To have a softer intimate connection is so far away from his style it’s crazy. He has been molded to use sex as a tool for decades upon decades, that romance and softer forms of intimacy are completely foreign to him. He doesn’t know how to take true intentions and intimacy without it feeling wrong. Tainted. Even if he’s free, he still feels like his body is a tool and that his beauty is the only reason that he is cared for.

That’s why the combination between the two is so interesting to me!!! The idea of Gale being hopelessly bad at holding back his emotion, while Astarion is unaware on how to respond to his movements. Like Gale finding out Astarion's favorite flowers after hearing it through a bunch of peoples conversations and then surprising him with a bouquet full of begonias at his tents door. Or trying to find the best rings that could help him through battle. Astarion is fucking flabbergasted each time, not knowing how to respond or even why the gell Gale is doing this in act 1. Before they are together, he is trying to just let Gale "get it out of his system" but he doesn't stop easy, not until Astarion begins to try and respond back. He has like twenty conversations with Shadowheart (resident asexual lesbian best friend to Astarion) on how he should not just go in with sex but with soft steps. He kinda does that, with a darling outfit for Gale that he sets on Gale's bedroll a few nights later.

Gale teaches Astarion through their relationship that he isn't just a sex tool, but a person who deserves soft touch with no need to respond with excessive reward of his own body. It takes a WHILE, but its cute. ALSO FOR THE PROPOSAL SCENE AT THE END, YOU CANNOT TELL HE WOULDN'T GIVE HIM THE RING OF THE SUN-WALKER.