#i do it that way theyll always be on my account & i dont have to worry abt switching phones

[goethitee]

for the dog ask thing-- 74 and 75

74: share the first photo you saw/took of your dog

baby winni!! the first one is her adoption post & the second is one of the first ones of took of her <3

first photo of eustace! after 5 months of knowing him & having no clue he was gonna be one of ours.

unfortunately i dont have the first photos of beau and cletus on my phone :((

75: share your favorite photo of your dog

i have so many favorites (esp of the elder three) it was extremely difficult to pick just one lol.

i decided to add this photo of my teaca that i found while looking for pictures of the others. she passed in 2020 & i miss her every day.

[magpod-confessions]

Honestly i wanna hear opinions on season 4, cus im gonna confess i could NOT finish it (didnt move on to season 5 either lol). Got to like ep 135 & i just couldnt tell any of the episodes apart it felt like such a drag; just a slog of misery with some offhand Important 5 Minutes once in a blue moon. I hate repetition & i got the sparknotes from fandom/wiki stuff so yeahhh i just stopped listening; i still love TMA & it’s story & characters, it’s just the execution that got to me RIP

Everything felt kinda forced to me ig? Like there was some shoe-horned “humans are more monstrous than the actual monster” that snuffed S1 Jon’s fun cockiness/jackassery just to make him ? The best one in the archive ??? & all of his wrongdoings are either off-screen or justified by him being tricked into becoming a literal monster against his will (who would STARVE w/o his ‘evil-doings’, which didnt even kill ppl). Also felt like everyone got needlessly dumbed down except for Martin (the Love Interest ofc, who got 180’d from his pre-established incompetency to be some mastermind in a playing field he should have REALLY been inept in) just so they’d be blind to Jon’s situation & be mean to him LMAO

They started trying to make Jon accountable for “choosing this” & i couldnt handle it, held no fucking water to me—the guy being explicitly puppetted & manipulated as the entire plot? That guy is expected to take responsibility here? Felt like some after-thought theme they threw on top of it all. Anyways uhh feel free comment either on what i said and/or your personal thoughts on the season, or nothing if ya got nothing lol

🗣️

Ehh disagree. S4 isnt my fav but I dont think its bad. S1 Jon to s4 jon feels like natural character progression to me. He starts as acting all high and mighty to try hide the fact he has no idea what hes doing and is terrified, and then experiences a lot of ppl dying that he feels is due to him and is his responsibility. At that point his thought pattern is 'I keep messing up and making mistakes and getting myself and everyone around me hurt, so other ppl surely know better'. Hes got a lot of black and white thinking around him, which has been consistent throughout his entire characterization

I dont think any characters were dumbed down either

Melanie was always angry, she only go worse bc she had smth making her think everything she did was justified and when that stopped she became avoidant and stopped lashing out. She was still angry, just managing it better

Basira has always been Daisys no1, the person to justify all of Daisys actions. She knows what daisy did and why its bad but she holds onto the idea that daisy is right in doing so. She blames jon for what he does bc logically she knows its wrong, hurting ppl who havent done anything is wrong, but still excuses daisy bc she needs to. Bc that was a fact of her life and it cannot be wrong. In the unknowning she focuses on facts to keep her grounded and to her 'Daisy is a good person' 'Hurting ppl is wrong' and 'If you hurt ppl you are a bad person' are all facts she needs in her life to stay grounded. How she justifies Daisys actions is by saying that the ppl who daisy hurt were worse and it ultimately helps more ppl to have them gone. Not only can she not do that with Jon, as she believes those he hurts are entirely innocent, she also doesnt care to. Shes not close with Jon and she doesnt have 'Jon is a good person' as a fact in her mind, so she doesnt need to work to excuse his actions. Its all or nothing with her, if you hurt and continue hurting ppl, no matter your reason, you need to stop and the only way you will stop is if you are gone. She also has a lot of black and white thinking, gotta love the autism podcast

Martin being a mastermind in s4 also makes sense bc him being stupid is an act. If ppl think your stupid theyll underestimate you and ultimately leave you alone. They wont scrutinize you, they wont attack every part of you, they will brush it off as just a typical normal thing. It will get you ignored and you cannot be hurt if nobody knows who you are or how to hurt you. Its a lonely miserable existence but its one martins used to. Martin rarely drops the mask of 'Sweet but stupid' bc he needs that to survive and tbh he probably learnt that from needing to survive his mom LOL. Martin just knows and picks the best method of getting ppl to like him, which for him is doing exactly what they want and keeping their expectations low so they wont hurt him as much when they mess up. Honestly in s5 I see him as hes finally got to a place where he doesnt care if everyone hates him, bc he has someone who does and thats all he needs. Hes survived the worst of it and he doesnt care anymore

Part of the reason everyone blames Jon is bc he is there and he is the one who is currently causing the most problems. Also they dont actually see the extent that Jon is manipulated. Elias talks and interacts with Jon differently to how he interacts with others. All of them met Jon when he was already at the institute, they meet him when it does actually look like he made his choice, entirely of his own free will. It doesnt help that daisy is there, someone who completed their transformation like Jon did and turned back on it, and she looks like shes managing well enough. She is surviving without feeding so why cant Jon do the same? Also basira does trust elias on some level. She trusts he knows more than she does and can be an asset if used correctly, which definitely doesnt help things. Also the idea of Elias is locked up, he cant affect Jon anymore so why is Jon still acting this way. Elias has very effectively vilified and isolated jon and jon doesnt fight back against it bc he believes it as well. Other ppl are normally right so why wouldnt everyone be right abt him?

Oh my god that was an essay and I absolutely missed sooo much stuff but idk take that - rosette

i literally have nothing to add . rosette sincerely you are insane and i love that . i honestly don't have a lot of s4 opinions that i could really put down , but i also disagree anon . s4 may not have been the best , but it certainly wasn't Bad or not enjoyable to listen to . coming from someone who has listened to the podcast twice now [ and who is planning on a third relisten ] , i really do enjoy s4 as a whole . martin's buildup and his manipulation of peter lukas is honestly one of my favourite parts , because it has been said that martin was originally going to be apart of the mother of puppets ! this shows that part of martin we didn't get to see but has been there . i got distracted and don't remember what else i was gonna type um . whoops - deceit

[kasaneteto]

im so fucking tired

why can nobody take any fucking accountability for their actions. why is it always the cat’s fault. im so fucking sorry but that cat didnt shove himself into a table. the cat didnt remove the crystal orb from where i put it back so that it was free to roll around & the cat certainly didnt magically will the orb to fall directly into his food bowl thus shattering it. so why the fuck are you then shouting “BRO!!” as if its the cats fault and not ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT. im so FUCKING tired. living here is better than my apartment but at this point? just barely. everyone is slovenly and gross and cannot take any accountability for their actions. if something crazy and dangerous happens to one of them im supposed to find that funny the way they do. sorry i dont find it fucking funny that my cat is somehow sitting on active burners when im not here. sorry its not funny to me that you almost dishwashed my cat and only figured out she was in there when you tried to FORCE THE DISHWASHER CLOSED ON HER. i cant fucking take it man im gonna explode. at least i can explode on them and theyll still like me afterwards thats the only improvement from erik. i keep telling myself this was my last resort for a reason but i really didnt think it would be this bad. i didnt think my friend who i previously would have trusted with my life could be this negligible and irresponsible when it comes to cats. ive witnessed her throw things at her cat to get her to stop peeing on a blanket when her litter box stank so bad i could smell it from the hallway. her cat has scabs all over her body from anxiety, like im talking you cant touch her without feeling scabs and she has BALD spots from scratching/biting herself so much but thats just normal! thats just how alice is she has anxiety! never once felt the need to take her to the vet to try and get the fucking BALD SPOTS AND SCABS taken care of. nah shes just like that shes just in constant emtional distress and thats fine. im so FUCKING tired. im fucking tired of nobody around me taking me seriously or caring at all about the thing that are important to me. idk how the fuck im gonna get out of here but i need to. my cats are not safe here

[mojavemoproblems]

you know, there were a couple years where i was beginning to think "wow, maybe things ARE getting better for women". i wasnt as scared of men and i genuinely thought sexism was decreasing in the workplace, the classroom, etc. (also i am a white woman so i can't speak for woc and i absolutely understand if any woc has never felt this way)

but god, its been fucking rough lately. i'm fully considering deleting every single social media account i have because its getting so bad. i cant go 3 posts on twitter without seeing the most misogynistic post i've ever seen in my life. we are constantly exposed to men doubting us, telling us we're less than, telling us we shouldnt be allowed to vote, telling us we cant make our own decisions about our bodies. you cant even fight back on twitter as a woman or your mentions and DMs will be filled with men telling you theyll rape you or that you dont deserve rights.

what the fuck has happened? it's been fucking eating at me and i feel like i'm just constantly holding back tears. what the fuck did we do to men to make them hate us so much? what has caused this INSANE resurgence in men hating us? sexism and misogyny has been so normalized in recent years and i just dont know how much longer i can handle it. i feel like i'm unraveling. i can't even open up instagram comments anymore.

and now trump is just straight up posting shit about how kamala fucked her way to the top? and this is a FUCKING PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE? we've had to sit through THREE (3) trump elections. I know misogynists have always had platforms, but giving a rapist misogynist the biggest platform in the world has so severely fucked up the world and the gullible little men who listen.

i have always considered myself an incredibly strong-willed, independent, straightforward, courageous woman but this has been absolutely destroying me. i can't even imagine what its doing to women who haven't had as much exposure to feminist ideas as i have.

because jesus. the self doubt? the fear? constantly having to prove to men who dont give a shit about me that i'm not fucking breeding stock? its exhausting. its killing me. i dont know what to do.

what did we fucking do?

[the-pea-and-the-sun]

this is another "post that was in the tags of another post but the tags got too long so now its its own post" post

so i saw another post abt saying "thank you" instead of "sorry" and i remembered how i first saw someone giving that advice a long time ago and it made me realize how much ive incorporated it into my speech since and how helpful its been. like ive heard this advice get dunked on a bit since then but it rly is so much better for both parties. like ive heard it helps some people unlearn shame about their own harmless actions but even besides that its made so many conversations so much easier for me. saying 'i appreicate u being patient btw ik i tend to ramble/get excited' or something is sm better than 'sorry i talk sm' cuz the latter might make the person feel obligated to reassure u at best but the former makes the other person feel like they r a good friend for listening to u. and ofc other ppl have said this before but i just kind of wanted to share the ways its been useful for me.

whenever i suddenly realize that ive lost a bit of self awareness and control when rambling thanking the other person for listening/being patient while i get to my point is gen sm more helpful. like even besides the fact that theres no point in apologizing for something ultimately harmless that ive always done and am never gonna be able to stop from happening sometimes it lets u jus kinda keep talking seemlessly too. like if u say sorry an they're nice theyll prob stop and reassure u, which sucks bcz if you were just enthusiastically rambling abt something u probably dont want the conversation to suddenly turn into a conversation about the way you tend to ramble. assuming the other person is willing/would like you to continue and you're not done you probably just wanna stop and be considerate of the other person for listening real quick before continuing, and thats why an thank you allows the conversation to continue much more smoothly than an apology.

an ofc it applies to other situations too if u feel the instinct to offset shame to combat ur social anxiety this gives u an alternative to apologizing, which other people have talked abt but theres a lot of unspoken communication that happens in an apology vs a thank you that most people arent even aware is happening. like i started saying 'thanks for hanging out w me i had fun!' after outings an ppl always seem to respond well and it kind of helps to offset my anxiety abt if a social outing went well. like thinking "what if i committed a major faux pas and everyone knows abt it but me" sucks because there isnt a way to address those feelings directly without basically accusing the other person of secretly being mad at you, but what you can do is acknowledge as far as you're concerned, the social interaction went well (not to mention if the other person is having the same anxieties you are this can be helpful to them to). like well at least they know i had a good time an enjoy/appreciate their company thats all i can do. i did my best to be kind and respectful and if i did something wrong and they aren't telling me i simply cannot account for their feelings. however they felt/feel abt it is out of my hands.

anyway i might edit this post later cuz i gotta go to work i just had to get this out real quick hopefully this is helpful to some ppl :)

[demadogs]

You know way more abou this than I do so you're the perfect person to ask. Do you think it's still possible for season 5 of stranger things to come out in 2024? Because the general consensus seems to be now that it will be pushed back to 2025, but that would be a 3 year gap, just like the gap between seasons 3 and 4. But the reason the gap between 3 and 4 took so long was because:

1) they had to suspend filming for more than half a year due to covid, and then they had to film more slowly because of covid measures,

2) they filmed in many different locations meaning that there were gaps between filming scenes from each group since the directors and crew travelled back and forth I guess, and also building sets takes time; but season 5 will all be filmed in the same place so it will take less time,

3) season 4 was almost double lenght compared to season 3, meaning that filming obviously took way more months, but again, they said season 5 episodes will be shorter.

I know post production an editing will be just as long as it was after season 4, but I think filming will be considerably shorter, thus season 5 releasing in 2024 still being very possible (I'd love for it to be on summer since I hyperfixate on this show for months each time a new season comes out so I need it to be on holidays otherwise I'll fail all my exams lmao but I guess I'm asking for too much 😔)

i actually dont know much more than you do to be honest! but i do think 2024 is a good bet and if i had to be specific, im guessing fall. they said they want to go back to the feel of season one so i think it would be very fitting if after the time skip its set in fall. that would make it likely come out in fall 24 (thats not guaranteed tho. s4 was set in spring but came out in summer).

like you said, covid is the main reason the wait was so fucking long. they started filming in february 2020 so they had really bad luck. they barely shot anything and had to wait months to get back. im not sure the different locations played that huge of a role in how much time it extended the filming. they could have had different crew for different settings so they could film russia stuff at the same time as hawkins stuff or something like that. honestly not sure though i could be wrong.

you make a good point about this season being extra long too, but covid allowed them to write the entire season before they started filming so they may have been able to film more at a faster pace since everything was already written.

i dont think you should assume that post production will take the same amount that it did for s4 tho. we have to take into account that its the last season and they always up their visual effects game every time so post production work could take a verrrry long time and they may, and probably will, be doing completely new things which will take more time. will said vecna is hurting but he’s still alive so vecna probably will have a whole new look to him. if they wanna give him a destroyed gross mushy kinda vibe similar to the s3 flesh monster, they wouldnt be able to accomplish that entirely through practical effects like they did vecna this season, so that would extend the post production a huge amount. theres also the whole post apocalyptic vibe that theyll probably be going for in s5. s4 ended with the upside down basically swallowing hawkins so those spore things may be in every outside shot. all that red lighting and clouds may be in every episode. the upside down are real sets but they still gotta animate the vines and make them moving and wet and gross and again, that could be every single episode.

so to sum up, i do think 2024 is likely it just may not be until the fall. i would really love if it was released on november 6th.

[amnesiamilk]

idfk were else to put this so here goes another tumblr vent

im sick and tired of constantly being less than a man. It isnt some shit thats barley and issue its CONSTANTLY happening. Physically i will be less. Socially i will be less. Im sick of this. If i work out to be bigger im unattractive and no man would want me , if i work out to be skinnier than i should try harder cause it obviously isnt working. Jesus. Sometimes when i eat things i have to tell myself “eat like a growing boy” because i feel so much guilt eating something that could potentially alter the way i look. I hate that. I hate that i have to pretend im a middle school boy in order to eat things. I hate that Im always undermined. I hate that male doctors have litteraly told me its “just growing pains” when i explain large abnormalities in MY OWN CYCLE that ive had for YEARS and has had more than enough time to adjust to regular times and predictable cycles and cramps. MY OWN BODY. I dont own my body. I dont want to be a boy but im sick of being treated like im less than one. i hate having to check what im wearing before i leave the house. I hate that I have to make sure men wont want to rape me instead of rapists actually being held accountable. I hate that i have to think so carefully about males im friends with. I hate that i have to consider each and every guy i talk to as a potential threat because i genuinely cannot trust that theyll be normal. Im not even attractive. Im not even what theyd want and i still live in fear.

i will always be something sexual. I will always be brought down to “do i want to fuck it?” By men. Theres nothing i can fucking do. I just wish i was a boy then maybe i could be a person.

[droodlebug]

@invisiblespoon ive got you covered ‼️

Centaurs aren't something i draw All the time but I've always loved speculative biology for fantasy races, so years ago I did this little outline for how I think their bone structure would look. Like i said, much more catlike since they'd be likely be predators rather than prey animals with the addition of the human torso and need to be able to adjust and lay comfortably in the wild. Both human and horse spines are too rigid to just fuse together and keep the same shape; it would completely obstruct movement. They need a spine that is able to healthily bend to go straight up and to curve around, which means more a lot more vertebrae.

It does change the shape to be different than a horse or human, really, but thats what happens when you change the amount of vertebrae in an animal! Its like a cat vs a manx cat. A manx cat with no tail vertebrae has its spine rounded. This moves its organs around and leads to organ failure pretty commonly, but i digress. I think centaurs would have two ribcages, both for structure and to account for the extra energy needed to fuel the body. Horses alone already dont have lungs big enough for their bodies, so the entire lower ribcage would be devoted to bigger, stronger lungs. The upper ribcage would be devoted to their heart.

The spine structure being changed would give them the wiggle room to be able to lounge properly!

You may have noticed they also all have paws. thats more of a personal choice, because I am unsure how well hooves, the toes, would be able to balance in an animal that is bendy and twisty. As well as their newfpund predator status I give them, hooves are Not ideal for hunting because of how much sound they make. Though, they do have very rough, keratin covered hands mimicking hooves so they can dig and tear into things in a unique, if not totally efficient, way. Very few animals irl are 100% efficient

Here's my centaur character Efua in a couple good sketches of her body. She has feathering on her limbs that she keeps wrapped out of the way and her hair trails down her neck in a mane. These were drawn without any references so they arent the most anatomically correct but well. I think she's cute and I like showing her off.

Centaurs don't have upper breasts. That wouldnt make sense to evolve to pick your baby up to feed them when theyll be born able to move mostly on their own. Human babies are only undercooked bc our heads are too big to go through an adult body. Centaurs are already pushing a little horsey body out sooo I dont think the head would be too much an issue.

and theres my addition to my rambling about centaur biology 👍

traditional centaurs are so like wild because theres like no way they would thrive. horses and human spines are both much too stiff to allow decent grooming with the shape they have and the way they would connect given the human torso is sitting straight up..

horses also notoriously are fragile. they walk on their single toe. they store oxygen in their bones because their lungs are not strong enough to fully supply their body, which is a large factor in why breaking any bones is so detrimental to a horse. also they break bones super easily because they have very small legs and, again, walk on a single toe. their hearts struggle to support their bodies and are a regular source of issues. horses pretty commonly may get too scared and die of a heart attack, as most prey animals are want to do.

granted, a centaur is probably not a prey animal anymore. but there would need to be so much rearranging of the internal organs to make it viable. personally i like to think of them having the majority of the human torso be lungs while a larger heart is in the horse chest. the digestive system snakes through them and the stomach and most other primary organs remain in the horse tummy. also, it would be prudent to strengthen the legs and have larger feet to accomate for the extra ~50-60lbs added from the human torso. anything that would help them thrive in various environments rather than disabling them in a way that does not allow them to safely travel most places lest it give them a life-ending injury. the world would already not be made for them due to their size, adding onto that seems unfair and not super frasible. Also, most importantly, their spine needs to be adjusted to be more flexible and curved to allow for better, more natural resting positions and ability to take care of themselves. the way the two segments would connect would ideally be more like the curvature of a praying mantis.

anyway all that to say i draw centaurs with bodies shaped a lot more like cats, due to the spine mostly

[f4ll3nf34th3r5y5t]

TW VENT!! dont read if ur sad or smth!!!

i hesitate to write this. genuinely. theres people i know will see it and theres those who wont but i really want to. i dont even feel upset writing this, i feel pretty good actually. i think writing this wont help, i know it wont, but itll be said right? which is better than nothing(maybe). 

some of us, and i wont name, have a horrible habit of checking accounts of people we no longer talk to and wow! you guessed it. exs fall into that. its mainly to see how theyre doing(usually /neg) or cus theyre bored. but we all get those memories. and the pain can meld to others which sucks, really. thankfully this doesnt happen often! but it still happens and it still hurts. an example is one of them sent a anon tell to an ex of ours asking if they checked their exs accounts. part of the reason why other than curiosity was because we were a little suspicious they sent us tells n shit. im more confident they dont now after a bit of research but we cant talk in headspace easily. and even so who wants to talk about their bad habits? not them. but to the actual point, ive had nightmares my whole life. i dont have dreams anymore as far as i can tell, they always morph their way into something i dont count as a decent thing. and more often than not ive found someone from our past whos hurt us a lot is always there. we had one with a man named steven who ruined our childhood a couple days ago. we screamed at him about how we hate him so fucking much and personally? thats progress! we recognize we didnt deserve it. we recognize that it was wrong and he deserves to burn. 

but quite a few of these nightmares have our most recent ex. since theyre not almost dead like steven i wont name them, ill refer to them as K. im not sure theyll see any of this. part of us hopes they will. part of me hopes that too. id like to help set the record straight.

we dated them for a year and a few days. we met on discord and grew close in a short amount of time. they were 16, i was 14. theyre 18 and im 16 now. so its been almost 2 years, its been 2 years since we met though. the relationship was good as far as i knew but now as ive grown i realize even if the age gap isnt big, thats 2 different maturities. they were hypersexual, i was asexual. the pressure made me graysexual and im also now hypersexual(in a way). i felt bad for saying no, which made me what others see as a shy partner who relies on their s/o to function. i felt bad that i didnt rely on them to exist, as if theyd get mad at me for not needing them to breath. and i think i was right too. even if they think now ‘no i wouldnt of’, i know that that would upset them. because in a way, a twisted way, thats upsetting to someone who wants to be your whole world. they want you to only need them. theyve probably changed. i hope theyve changed. 

but someone stalked their tellonym the other day to see the answer to the tell they sent and they found something else, im quoting so i dont fuck it up,  “whats your opinion on a partner that is being shy?”                                        “it’s whatever but i can’t stand overly shy partners like i’m not going to do everything for you. my ex was like that and it drove me fucking insane”              i want to scream and yell that ‘you did this, this is your fault, it was and still is a problem you created’ but ive grown too. we’ve grown. but i want to talk about how youre wrong, K. how wrong you are. you got upset when i told you no, when i wasnt ready to fuck, when i had issues sleeping, when i hung out with anyone, when my constant attention wasnt on you. you probably dont remember it like that, and thats ok but it wont change my memory in any way. you can shit talk me and i know you have about things you shouldnt. you can get angry over this. i hope you do in a healthy way and right now some of us disagree with me hoping that. back to the topic at hand, though, i felt like you would hurt me if i didnt get your permission or do something you didnt like. maybe thats why i got called co dependent. and i dont mean physically, that youd hurt me like that, i meant mentally. i wouldve dont the physical part. i know i wouldve. i know all of us wouldve. an unspoken part of our brain thought if we didnt then we didnt love you. i remember one time, i was up past 12. you woke up and saw. you got upset, made me feel like the worst person because i wasnt asleep. i went into another room and hyperventilated, having one of the worst panic attacks ive ever had. thankfull i was too distraught to search for anything harmful, and the house was small(we all slept in the living room, the other 3 rooms were in shambles(kitchen worked a little)) so searching for stuff was noisy already. and i knew if i relapsed you would make it about you. which is another thing. i dont think you ever realized it. i could never bring it up either for that reason. i didnt like talking to you about my issues because id just end the topic feeling worse than i started, but this time id also feel like i hurt you. and since you didnt like me talking to other people, and when i was i had to tell you, i just never said anything. and when id have doubts about our relationship, like i felt like you didnt love me/i didnt know how to handle something with you/you did something i didnt like/i noticed a red flag/you think im cheating, i didnt have anyone to talk to. i think i didnt break up with you because i never vocalized my doubts too. i did ask my friends during our half ass break if i seemed like a cheater, if i was like one, if i had tendencies of one. ive been cheated on before and i personally dont think im like one at all but others insight helps a lot! they said no, though, but part of me is still scared they lied. it doesnt matter much anymore though. anyway. to continue on your wrongdoings of a sort, you also accused me of cheating many times within the last week or two of our relationship because i 1) didnt let you log into my discord, you never told me why you wanted to and i wasnt ready to talk to you about a few things until i saw you(or was supposed to) 2) called you a new petname, i called you a lot of things related to the moon i dont understand why that upset you 3) everyone you talked to about us said i was cheating(ill admit, im still a bit disappointed your mom thought that too.). i cant think of anything else at the moment. but still its all bad, right? i dont know anymore. i still feel like i deserved everything you did to me. but ive been told i dont. that i didnt deserve the sexual pressure and the sexualization, that i deserved a nurturing relationship. but you still helped shape who i am now, mostly for the worst, but i know what not to do now so thats something?

im gonna end this here. its long enough, ill continue at a later date if i need to, reblogging is a thing here. i just needed somewhere to say this. theres more to say but god this is long?? enough for now??? and i need to do other things. on a side note, i hope osiris is doing well.

[faaarawayyy]

quick note (and dni):

i’m a minor, so if you’re an adult who doesn’t want minors following/interacting, keep that in mind! i dont usually check on individual profiles so i won’t know if you’re an under-18 dni account, so just do us both a favor and don’t interact if you wouldn’t want me to! thanx ^_^

i do explore some “darker stuff” in my creativity, but i’ll always tag any posts that might have triggers! if you ever have something you need tagged that i don’t already have covered, just lmk (through anon ask or reg ask or whatever you wanna) and i’d be more than happy to fix that! don’t want anyone to see anything they don’t want to!

dni: queerphobes, aphobes, racists, xenophobes, pedos, necros, zoos, general bigots, etc. basic dni criteria. just be a good person and i dont have a problem with you

OKAY AAANYWAY THAT ALL OUT OF THE WAY, read on for more info on me!

hi there! my name is bea/benrey, i go by poyo/dolphin/sob/snivy/cynda/hey/she pronouns. i love drawing and writing, and i'd really love to become a professional writer and animated filmmaker in the future! i've just got super big dreams that i know i'll achieve someday. but i'm taking my time! :]

generally, hey/hem by default is best for me, though i love my neos and have a lesser preference for she/her

i plan on posting a lot of different stuff both on this main and some sideblogs! right now you can expect random stuff and ramblings, my ocs, art, gaming stuff, and possibly more!

i hope you enjoy your time here :DD

#delfinxxiaposting (old) / #clicksnsqueaks (new) is just for anything and everything i post on my own!

#my art and #my doodles r both art related, but the latter tends to be lower effort than the former.

#friend art is for art made by my friends ofc ^_^

#ocs r about, well, My OCs my beloveds. theyll also have seperate tags ex #oc: bea

#for me <3 is… well anything made for me lol!

might have a writing tag at some point but not rn !

#reblogs is for reblogs obvs

#4later is stuff i wanna come back to, this includes resources

#important is in the same vein but more serious

#inspiration is stuff i find SO AWESOME and will probably come back to later to draw some inspiration from

#fav is similar, just stuff i REALLY like but doesnt have to be creative related, could be silly

#silly is just goofy things i like

#wholesome is nice stuff… cute or sweet or whatever all that

i thiiink thats it rn! Yay! 🐬

[chisatowo]

Yknow, technically I could fit this idea into the sci fantasy au, but I think it'd be funnier if I didn't and just made it it's own thing. It's one thing for your friend to secretly be a weird bird thing when you live in a world where everyone involved more or less knows of the existence of magic in some form, with some of them even being able to directly wield it, but it's another thing for that to happen in a world where magic super isn't a commonly known thing. Idk I just think it could be fun to have a more simple small scale au for once

[skenpiel]

its simple, on blogs/accounts where i present more femininely (virtually or with my appearance) i put strictly they/them in my bio so no one assumes they can call me she

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. The trial happening right now bothers me because we get to see how Thanatos and Echo reacted to this, but Demeter and Persphone don’t know and I know why they don’t know yet. However you think that would tie some more stuff up together

It was Minthe, Thanatos and Thetis who whistle blew on Persphone. Meaning Thanatos would probably be called to trial and would have to face persphone and I would hope say something to her BUT I kinda doubt that’s gonna happen.

But the other thing to this Minthe is a plant who can’t testify. Are hades and Persphone hide the fact she’s a plant and pretend she’s missing or are they gonna say “yeah I still don’t have control over my powers but I’m queen now” HOWEVER I truly believe RS is just gonna not address these two plot points until way later.

FINALLY Eros and Psyche KNOW the last person Daphne was seen with was Apollo, did they chase after her after he got shot by the arrow? We don’t know. We don’t even know what they’re doing about Psyche. Did Eros and Psyche even see the Daphne tree? Are they going to try and sneak in to tell Persphone?

I know the plots gonna focus more on HxP secret marriage at the court trial rather than the actual consequences and the fact people are turning into greenery left and right. (It’s not Persohones Faullt Daphne is the way she is but RS needs to focus on other plot points I feel)

2. like, age gaps, height differences, and power imbalances dont always have to be bad, the issue to me is that the way rachel does it is hyper-focusing on how young, small, and child-like/unexperienced persephone is compared to the old, giant, and all powerful/mature hades is like ... yeah obvs people are going to find it creepy? how would they not?

3. i honestly cant stand the "theyre immortal gods the age gap doesnt matter!!" agreement because like??? ok??? then she could easily be 300 years old then? she shouldnt be so borderline underage then?? like the immortality aspect actually makes the age gap worse, not better??

4. i realize getting nitpicky over unimportant characters in lo having american names is a bit dumb, but it does speak to just how lazy rachel is and how little care she has for greece and its mythology. there are countless english names that are also greek, yet even that's asking too much of her. percy jackson isnt a perfect series, but even the characters (who are in america) have greek influence and meanings put into their names and characterization, something rachel doesn't even attempt to do.

5. ok but thats a good point, because rachel seems to be taking physical wounds to matter more over the mental ones, when thats not how trauma works. her writing on zeus is reflective of her writing minthe, where she confirmed she has a severe untreated mental illness and that's linked to her evilness, and thus what she should be punished for. meanwhile persephone own mental issues can be bastardized as a "yass queen" thing?? somehow?? its just bad writing all around.

6. i kinda wish lo fans would listen to their own logic and give the same leeway to the other characters. theyll scream from the rooftops that hades and persephone and hera can be awful people all they want because thats ~realistic~, meanwhile minthe and zeus and everyone else are held to such extremes they can never meet and are hated and despised for nothing in compared to hxp or hera. either hold your faves accountable or let off on hating characters who do the same as them.

7. i see a lot of lo fans excuse how everything drags as "thats how a slow burn works" and its like ... no? because most of that slow burn isnt even hxp, its rachel forcing in more plots we dont need, and when its hxp, you look at the timeline and how they act and its actually neck-breakingly fast? like if as much time had past in LO as irl time then yeah, four years is a slow burn, but its only been maybe a month in comic? so its not slow for them at all, but it's a drag for the readers.

8. See, the difference between Lo!Hades and Punderworld!Hades is that PW!Hades has so much personality, he and Persephone are literally bustling with life (even though one of them rules over a realm of dead XD) AND their interactions are so cute with their awkward attempts at flirting and failure at doing so. Persephone is still somewhat sweet and “pure” but she’s also a bit of a spitfire, she’s not easy to surrender, she has wants and dreams and that little differences makes her character likable!

We NEVER get to see anything like that with LO!Hades and Persephone, we don’t see them have these sweet interactions, these heart-fluttering moments, because there’s no base or foundation for those sorts of moments! It’s always these very out-of-character unrealistic scenes expected from a married couple, but they just met! It doesn’t feel natural, it feels forced and rushed and so slow at the same time.

Although Punderworld makes Demeter overbearing, i love her characterization i really do, waAAAY more than LO!Demeter, because we actually understand her reasons for her overprotective behavior and we get to see her in a more sympathetic light/manner in the newer chapters, we see her as more than “mean mom hates bf”

9. Daphne and Thanatos were adorable. Like, Daphne was a sweet, caring girl with genuine interest (and power/agency) and Thanatos was a shy, awkward guy who was just doing his best (and not pressuring her). They weren't perfect, but it was something! Why couldn't LO be about them?

10. What I find funny is that Minthe and Thetis have a more defined friendship than Persphone and other female characters.

Minthe and Thetis ARE TOXIC don’t get me wrong but both characters are aware of each other’s motives. Minthe knows not to trust Thetis fully and is straight with her on her opinion of Thetis. But the readers clearly know their relationship as well as the characters.

Persphone is in gray areas with most her female friends. The beginning of the story we are lead to believe Artemis and P are besties with the dress sharing and the way in P’s mind they’re holding hands with Hermès. But clearly now their relationship is a question mark and they’re both more detached than we thought. Artemis was just being nice to P letting her stay with her because they’re both in the TOGeM but they’re probably more like acquaintes at best.

Daphne and P we know they’re friends but P isn’t straight with her. Like Daphne is P’s only named friend, but did P think of her as the other overbearing nymphs? We don’t know because they’re all pink and some of them are dead. Despite being told they grew up together we don’t even know much about their relationship what do they like about each other? Does Daphne agree with Demeters parenting or P’s need to leave? When did Daphne get to move to Olympus? I feel like the plot just says “these two characters are friends “ but doesn’t elaborate much. Why did P let Daphne in her room at Hades mansion and not the other nymphs? P told Daphne that Apollo is dangerous, but it was a little too late. Also why didn’t P have her phone number when she got to Olympus? Wouldn’t she know to contact her on insta or something? P was like “omg I know no one except Hermès “ but that’s not true! Daphne! I could go more but I think we get the picture that Daphne’s plot point is having the readers be told Persphone has friends but she doesn’t but she does.

Were shown that P and Meg are getting along because P was nice to Meg, despite Meg being silently jealous of P, but what about Meg now? Is she ever gonna tell P that she’s jealous of P that she had a mad crush on Hades, even her journal? Or is that all gone now? Does Meg even matter any more or is she now here just to support HXP?

[manic-kagura]

alright so some shit in my life has happened and im just reaching breaking point after breaking point and this post + its possible following reblogs exist to help me vent

general tw, but specific to domestic abuse, narcissistic abuse, and anything that can occur within those two categories (im exhausted i cant think of all the issues that may pop up)

theyll all be under readmores

so for context: my dad has undiagnosed narcissistic personality disorder - while it may be undiagnosed by technicality, i consider this to be his state of being because, like narcs do, he refuses to get help, because THAT would mean something is WRONG WITH HIM!

I’m 27 years old - I didn’t get out of that emotionally abusive household until i was 25, and even then I was unable to fully escape it. in late february of 2020 my dad crossed a line that just...lit the lightbulb in my head and i chose to go live with my current boyfriend, who i had known for about a month and been dating for maybe 2 weeks at the time. it’s been 2 years since i left, and after a long time of slowly getting things in my control (finances, my dog, my car, my bank account, etc) i was finally able to start going low contact 10 months ago. unfortnately, this also meant i couldn’t call my mom because he would turn the volume on the tv down so he could hear me talking to her over the phone. i didnt want to risk her safety further, so we just...dont call each other unless shes in the car.

this specific post is not for me to go into details on the bullshit i endured (i may do that elsewhere another time with heavy tw) - this post is specific to a rather recent set of events and how this has, today, crumbled into causing me a downward spiral.

my dad has threatened my mom with divorce A LOT over the past 2 years - it started getting really aggressive when i caught covid and she was asking him to back off because (SURPRISE) his meddling was making my symptoms worse (and i didnt even live with them...controlling ass freak). so anytime she vaguely annoyed him, he’d threaten it. my mom is very very Christian (unfortunately), and from South Africa - the idea of divorce is terrifying to her on so many levels, and no matter how many times ive tried to get her to leave she always had an excuse.

well, one day he made the threat, and she said “bring the papers and i’ll sign them.”

the threats calmed down. I don’t know when they started getting aggressive again, but in May of this year (2022), he finally decided he’d bring them. he told my mom she had time to look for living arrangements, and when she did he’d start finalizing divorce shit. when i learned this i blocked him everywhere i could manage - no phone calls, no texts. saving face has no purpose anymore when theres nothing to salvage.

my mom has been working her ass off for like 4 years - my dad lost his job, and with it any financial stability we may have had (all the Amazon boxes stacked around the house every day would make you think otherwise though). i learned my mom had NO ACCESS to her income. it went to a joint account that she was unable to get into.

well with this actual divorce going on and her job working her to death (like she goes in at 7 am and leaves at 12 am - fuck publix), she has had literally no way of packing shit up to start getting ready to leave. she has not opened a new bank account for her income. she hasnt found a lawyer. despite me telling her id help her with these things, shes declined and ive backed off.

until today.

on a whim i decided to check my old email (a rarity in the past 2+ years honestly). i noticed some emails in there that were sent as a text, from a phone, which was something i had seen before (my dad had done this somehow by accident before in 2019, but it was always in a text chain that included me).

this one did not include me. i dont know how im receivng these. but its a text chain between him and some woman that i do not know - number and name dont ring any bells, she isnt in our family, shes not a friend ive ever heard him speak of.

he was asking her about “tourism visas” for someone coming from the Phillipines.

its not for work. not only does he not even do shit in the line of work in which hed be talking to people in other countries now, but TOURISM VISAS arent for work.

a good friend of mine from high school has a shitty dad too. we laugh at how fucking similar they are. turns out, her dads had shit like this too! fucking mail order brides!!!

i start sending my mom screenshots. im frantically texting her to contact me. she hadnt contacted me in about a week so in a fit of fear i decide to call her, which is something ive done my best not to do, at all, ever.

i asked her “can you talk? are you alone? can we speak in private?” she said she was at home, to call back in 10 minutes. i told her ok, but she needs to check her texts.

we start texting. she says my dad was asking why i called, what it was about, what i was gonna text her about. she said she didnt know (which is only half a lie tbh).

his response was “when you get home tomorrow, we need to finalize things.”

i ripped him apart in my texts. i told her she needs to get her finances together ASAP. no more waiting. he didnt give a singel solitary shit about her or our fucking family, hes trying to fuck her over. hes hurt us enough. i told her i had screenshotted all of the messages, i told her to ask for a small vacation from work to get her shit together and out, i told her to stay with a friend when my boyfriend and i couldnt be with her to pack.

shes finally decided to get a lawyer. she said to keep everything on hand. shes finally seeing the fucking lightbulb.

im hoping in the next week she’ll be having more days off to deal with this shit. my only high points within this situation today were to see her finally turn around and the mere fucking thought that i made my life long abuser shit himself, all because i said “i need to talk to you in private” to my poor fucking mother.

i hope this fucker burns in whatever hells exist. i hope he burns in every single torturous afterlife and his soul never rests. but most of all i hope he realizes he will leave this fucking world cold and alone, just like he raised and left us.

[foodielifter]

DNA’S/ONLINE SCAMS MASTERPOST

nobody asked for this but im doing it anyway ✨

i will edit this as time goes on and i order from more places! feel free to message me with or reblog with your own experiences from different stores, this post will be my individual thoughts and experiences

this will not just focus on dna’s, its more like the best methods to use for different online stores. currently planning on either doing chewy, petco or petsmart next

AMAZON:

hella easy, usually theyll just give you a refund without question. stuff like food or stuff that can’t be repurposed can’t be returned at all so you don’t always have to file a dna, you can just say they were damaged and they’ll refund you in full. stuff like clothes, blankets, anything that can be washed and used by other people they’ll want you to return, though, so always do dnas for them. if you order something off of amazon fresh grocery delivery and say that the entire order was messed up, they might even double the amount you spent and refund it (THIS HAS ONLY HAPPENED TO ME ONCE SO DON’T QUOTE ME IF IT DOESNT WORK). do not do this too often or they will lock/blacklist your account or address!

ALIEXPRESS:

hard to do dna’s on since theyll pretty much just tell you “sorry it says its delivered so it’s delivered whether or not you got it”. half of the time though things take WAY longer than their marked delivery date anyway so you can say that it hasnt arrived after that date and they’ll have to give you a refund, and your clothes will still probably arrive. particularly easy to scam though, make up some bullshit excuse about your outfit being torn or otherwise not as you expected and you’ll get refunded in a few days (especially if you provide picture evidence, just take something you already have of similar color or whatever and rip it a bit or just take a pic off google and alter it so it can’t be reverse searched). this is better to do on shops that are obviously automated and not individually ran,  you can tell if they’re just another copy shop if you look up one of their products and the same thing is being sold at different places. do NOT do a dna with an independent shop as it’s essentially the same as lifting from a mom n pop or a depop/etsy store. you’re hurting actual people there.

WISH:

similar to aliexpress but a bit easier; if you don’t receive your order in a timely manner theyll actually ask you about it and you can say that you didnt get it. like aliexpress itll probably take longer than estimated for your things to arrive, so you can file for a refund and still get your stuff some time later. like before, you can tell if they’re a bot shop if you can find the exact same product at different places

DOORDASH:

you cant get your money back with doordash but they do give you refunds with dash credits, which is basically currency that pays for your order for you. i don’t do dna’s here often since it requires you to chat with cs (not that it matters, i just dont like talking to people — just say it was delivered to the wrong address or smth) but rather i complain abt the food (claim something was missing, something wasn’t made right etc) and i’ll still get money back. do this once every other order and not every single order or else they’ll stop giving you credits/only give you minimal credits. you can also possibly tell your driver to take their time with delivering, as late orders are an automatic 10$ back in credits no matter what. as far as i know this does not affect the driver if you don’t directly complain about them and give them a good rating, but obviously if your drivers an ass then complain about/rate them however you want. they will absolutely ban your account if you do it too often so be careful with it!

[rarted-moved]

Hey this is sharts u know my name but obv most ppl dont. I woke up and got told youd found out about the genderistderist thing and i had suspected you might have something to do w it bc ur one of the few ppl that knows my identity. But i also am not sure of anything and based on ur posting i dont think its u. I just wanted to reach out publicly in case it stops any harassment toward you over that. And also if you did know anything about that one user. Im not gonna blame u if u namedropped me to someone else who then made that account, bc their actions are thier own fault and not urs. But mostly i would like make sure no one thinks u did anything you didnt do bc i dont like tumblr spats and gossip blog shit. Im not w cisoids group or the nunnery and ive had you blocked just bc i thought you were running that one blog. Sorry for this being windy bit youre always welcome to dm me if i got that function on or i can respond to any questions via ask again. I dont mind talking publicly bc that may help people calm tf down. The police report should just run its course and theyll figure things out that way, but its upsetting to see ppl are anoning you about it probably to make you anxious.

no yea i dont rly talk about u to ppl in private outside of posts i might come across. and these ppl arent the type to pull something like this. im not involved in this so i have no reason to be anxious. i hope the thing w the police report gets resolved tho.