#i do have a massive ...spreadsheet. trying to figure all this out

[pinacoladamatata]

from my ridiculous dragon age theories drive: Dumat, big daddy old god of silence, is associated with the constellation Silentir. we know this bc of inquisition

Silentir astarium in DAI

overlayed with Elgar'nan's vallaslin just because

this motif just keeps recurring with elgar'nan. idk.

4 and 7 are the one's we see in the game

[seat-safety-switch]

With the ever-present rush towards convenience, so many sit-in restaurants are becoming take-out-only instead. Let's be honest: none of us really want to go outside and talk to people in order to get food. Just flip that app and bingbong® yourself a drunk order of fried treats for only $25 in fees.

Pizza Hut was one of the first to abandon the pull of large square footage, throwing millions of nostalgic red plastic cups into industrial grinders in a mad rush to stop bleeding so much goddamn money all the time. Today, those cups are worth $250 on eBay, so they look pretty stupid now, don't they?

The problem with all this is, in the time of our foreparents, it was real hard to fake the existence of a restaurant. If you went to a Pizza Hut, it was a real-ass physical building. It probably had not been copy-pasted together by a bunch of Taiwanese scam artists using Google Image Search fifteen seconds before you appeared. That was more of a Taco Bell thing. Nowadays, you can't be sure. Computers treat bullshit the same as any other kind of shit, so sometimes you'll be ordering from a completely imaginary restaurant. Feels weird, doesn't it?

As with many other cases in my adult life where I figured out everyone was just faking it, I decided to try and make some quick money. Papa needed a new engine, you see, and Slant Sixes don't exactly grow on trees anymore. With just a couple wonky Excel spreadsheets and a glob of code the size of Upper Tonawanda, I was in business with Switch's Fun-Time Pizza, an entirely non-fictitious restaurant whose address happened to be at the same place as a Pizza Hut.

Folks would pay me money, and then I'd quickly pay Pizza Hut to have a pizza ready by the time the delivery guy rolled up. Nobody seemed to care that the box said the wrong thing, and soon I was collecting fat stacks of money for doing nothing at all, just like the platforms themselves. This went on for a few weeks, fattening my bank account for slaughter. Until the first complaints came in, that is.

Yes, friends: it turned out that the local Pizza Hut had hired someone who wasn't very good at washing their hands. Soon, I was handing out big-time refunds on behalf of a massive international corporation, except I was doing so out of my own ill-gotten profits. My rickety, strung-together bullshit engine made entirely out of spreadsheets and chewing gum simply could not comprehend the idea of a refund, much less one for a weak human phenomenon such as food poisoning. Soon, all the money was gone.

Have I learned something from this whole experience? Yes. The most important thing in food service is to wash your hands thoroughly before (and after!) handling the customer's meat. The second most important thing is to charge at least a hundred percent premium over your supplier, to leave room for little hiccups such as this.

That's way easier to do if you position yourself as an upscale luxury restaurant, such as Lord Switchington of Canterbury's Refined Palate Pizza Parlour For Bourgeois Assholes Only, which will be launching this weekend in the very expensive neighbourhood next to mine. Hopefully their Pizza Hut is a little bit better at keeping the bathroom soap dispenser stocked.

[averycutesalamander]

i have extremely neutral opinions about SMAUs (social media AUs) but i just thought about what Boothill's role would be in one and im kind of losing my mind about it.

his account handle is @.silvergunshura and he literally only posts clumsy nature photos and occasional pics of his gun. a handful of videos that are just the sound of the wilds. never puts any captions or tags on his posts. extremely long unacknowledged absences with no schedule. double-digit amount of followers at an absolute maximum. absolutely no interaction with his audience. or anyone else on the platform actually. quite frankly he doesn't pay any attention to his following in the slightest. bro simply cannot be bothered. for all he cares he is sending these photos to the void and there are no other users on the platform.

and then he posts one (1) video of him at the shooting range nailing bullseyes left and right like it's nothing. barely half of his body is in frame and most of his face is covered by his hair. someone with a decent following shares it and his entire fucking profile EXPLODES because people will NOT stop talking about how hot he is and it kinda snowballs from there. people go through his entire backlog only to find ZERO other posts with his face or body in them. the best they get is little snippets of his arms. people are frothing at the fucking mouth trying to figure out who he is and nobody knows because he literally hasn't said a single word in his entire posting history. people make theory posts, which obviously gets more people invested in this new mystery. his comments are filled with people speculating about who he is and what the fuck he's doing. someone posts a massive spreadsheet detailing all of the identifiable locations in his posts, and they're literally all over the galaxy. immediately afterwards they're cancelled for some vague allegations about them being a shady intelligentsia guild member guilty of multiple human rights violations and everybody completely forgets about the spreadsheet.

Boothill posts a single blurry photo of his hand feeding a chipmunk and people lose their goddamn minds. he follows this up an hour later with a photo of the same chipmunk sitting on his shoulder that is somehow even blurrier than the last and it briefly trends on the front page. a week later he uploads a video of him playing a harmonica by a campfire, once again barely in frame, lit only by the flickering fire. people brighten the video in a desperate attempt to get a better look at his face, but there's nothing identifiable. someone posts a slightly unhinged video examining the tiniest pixels in every screencap of him that they can find, claiming that he's definitely a halovian because of some extremely blurry details, and you technically can't deny it as a possibility because there are no clear shots of where his halo or wings would be. naturally this severely divides fans, and several other theories about his species pop up over the course of a few days. many people are called morons from all sides.

the REAL drama comes when he posts a picture where he's holding what looks suspiciously like an extremely precious meteorite-formed gem that was stolen during a private IPC auction two weeks ago. this post is also notable because it's the first time he's used a caption and it's literally just "lol". naturally people quickly connects the dots and realize that he's BOOTHILL, that crazy motherfucker with the vendetta against the IPC, and why the fuck is he posting nature photos and videos of him feeding birds and shit. silvergunshura fans are instantly divided by discourse about whether or not it's ethical to be a fan. "silvergun fans dni" and "silvergun antis dni" become staples in the bios of people invested in the drama. a bunch of fans start using his substitute swears, and whether or not this is ironic is extremely debatable. the business of cyborg modifications has a moderate boom. anti-IPC sentiments have a notable increase, but now the people doing serious exposés and earnest discussion about the humanitarian crimes of the IPC that are concealed from the public are constantly called simps. there's a brief stint with a handful of Boothill copycat crimes that are all solved within the week.

people unsuccessfully try to hunt down any other potential socials to no avail, but this does spawn a massive wave of fake accounts on a million different platforms, which obviously successfully baits a ton of people. the drama gets even spicier when the moderators shut down his account. one of the mods gets doxxed by an outraged fan. even more fake accounts pop up. Boothill comes back less than a week later as @.silvercowboy244 like nothing happened. his returning post is a crooked picture of a sorta weird looking tree, and he's pointing toward the top left of the frame. the caption is just "bird?" and nobody can figure out what the FUCK that's supposed to mean, because there's no bird visible in the picture, nor is there a bird nest in the tree. conspiracy theories and decoders are immediately chomping at the bit trying to figure out if it has some kind of secret meaning.

tons of people try to use his posts to pinpoint his location for clout or the bounty money or to find him in person and beg him to let them give him head, but he never posts them exactly when they're taken, and nobody can figure out what the fuck logic he's using to pick his next destination. there's an IPC investigation. his accounts keep getting banned but he keeps coming back like a cockroach. dedicated fan archives are made to preserve all of his shitty photos. he never acknowledges any of the drama.

if you're fortunate enough to know Boothill personally and you ask him about all of that weird shit with his socials, he just shrugs and says, "yep, i keep gettin' locked out. can't remember passwords for shirt." if you ask him what he thinks of all the drama surrounding his online presence, he gives you the most bewildered expression you've ever seen on his face. "what the fork are you yappin' about?? what do you mean i got "band" ?? disk horse??? docksing???? i think you've got a few screws loose buddy" and he promptly forgets about the entire ordeal and goes back to posting blurry nature pictures like literally nothing happened.

edit: here's part two-ish lol

[starrystevie]

i don't care how impractical it is... i want steve, eddie, robin and nancy to all live together in a massive house somewhere with land and trees, but still close enough to the city that they don't go stir crazy. i want newly-an-official-couple robin and nancy to be the ones to suggest it with linked hands and matching grins. i want nancy to pull out spreadsheets that prove how it'll be a good way to split rent and get away from the overbearing eyes of hawkins, so they all pack up and move to the outskirts of indianapolis.

i want steve and eddie to start with twin beds in the bedroom not occupied by the lovebirds and then merge those beds into one large one once they figure their shit out. i want early riser nancy to make their breakfasts and learned-to-fend-for-himself eddie to make their dinners. i want chaos when steve and robin go to the grocery store for the first time and come back with half the things they actually need and armfuls of pringles cans. i want them sitting around a beat up kitchen table with socked feet knocking into each other and mismatched wine glasses trying to feel like adults.

i want steve and nancy deciding to get married after they crunched the numbers, saw the tax breaks, thought about the insurance benefits, thought about much easier things would be for all of them in the future if the law was slightly on their side. i want eddie and robin to follow suit because they want an excuse for a bigger party. i want them all falling into their lumpy bumpy couch after their joint weddings before steve runs upstairs to grab his and eddie's suitcase to head out for a mini-honeymoon leaving nancy and robin for one of their own.

years down the line, when hairs are greying and the skin around their eyes start to crinkle, i want there to be kids somehow. i want them to move in to the new build down the road with a more room than they probably need but with enough for their love to grow. i want robin and nancy to move in to the in law suite out back because it's closer to nancy's garden anyway, and expand it to a house of it's own. i want them all to have an open door policy so their kids can grow up side by side with barking and music and kid giggles echoing through the halls.

i want steve in the backyard teaching their crew how to throw a baseball and pressing gentle kisses to their sweaty foreheads to show he's proud of them. i want robin and eddie teaching them how to read music, little legs swinging off their kitchen chairs as they curl their fingers over the neck of too big acoustic guitars. i want nancy taking them on scavenger hunts around the yard, cats weaving between her legs as they use mini-magnifying glasses to observe bugs and leaves.

i want them going to parent teacher conferences in a mass group because, of course, steve charmed the head of the pto to get the kids in all the same classes. i want them to watch as the kids grow up, as they turn into moody teenagers and eventually off to college. i want never-expected-to-grow-old-let-alone-together steve, eddie, nancy and robin to make it a point to have dinner together every night with socked feet knocking into each other but with matching wine glasses this time around.

it's impractical, i know, but man do i want it.

[wambsgansshoelaces]

Turmoil; Chapter 9

Roman Roy x Reader

Word Count: 3.518k

You walk slowly back and forth on the cool marble flooring of Shiv’s apartment, trying not to slip on your socks. You're gesturing vaguely at your laptop as you pace, which Roman had gotten to project on her living room TV. You have the spreadsheet of Connor’s financial ruin pulled up, letting everyone mull it over.

“We have many options right now, and all of them are good,” you tell your miniature peanut gallery of the siblings- minus Connor -, plus Gerri and Greg. “We serve Connor. All this does is get him off of our asses, gets us some spending money. Doesn’t eliminate the massive fucking problem that is Logan Roy, doesn’t deal with anything involving Waystar. Purely a ‘fuck you’ to Connor and he goes to jail for five minutes before Daddy bails him out.” You glance around the room, remembering your audience. “Uh, no offence.”

You get a collective grunt from the three siblings, all of them in a similar state of focus. Roman’s sat on the sofa, eyes trained solely on you rather than the presentation. When you catch his gaze, he gives you a nervous smile. You smile back.

“What I think we should do is start building a case against Logan. But we bait him with this fraud to get a stronger case,” you say. “We’re pulling things together. I can see us having an airtight case before the years up.” You pause. “We just, uh, need to finalize the entire… CEO thing.”

The more time you’d spent with the Roys, the more they got along less. With Logan thrown out of the company, ownership, control of the company was up for grabs. Each of the three of them though that they were the right choice. What you saw in Norway, what you saw when you first met Roman, was slowly self destructing.

You’re worried it won’t go back to the way it was before.

The siblings’ banter, their underlying love for one another. You’re not going to hear it again for a while.

The general consensus is that you are to start building a criminal case against Logan Roy. You have to tell yourself that if you fail, on the off chance that this case crumbles under pressure in court, that the rest of your life will with it. Losing to Logan Roy, at anything, has grace consequences. And in this instance? Your career will suffer the most.

Roman’s trying to figure out how to completely disconnect your laptop from the television when Gerri approaches you. You both offer each other soft smiles. You were similar, after all, and although lawyers didn’t get along most of the time, you got the feeling that you’d both give each other grace.

“It’s nice to meet you informally,” she tells you, offering her hand for you to shake. Her grip is firm, it doesn’t falter. “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it out to Norway.”

“You didn’t miss much. It was a lot of peacocking, if I’m honest.”

Her voice drops so that only you can hear, even though everyone else is involved in their own business, nowhere near. “There’s a power struggle here. Neither of us are stupid.”

You gather your composure. Maybe this wasn’t the wholesome interaction you’d hoped it’d be. Oh, how you wish strategy would leave you alone. “Mm.”

“And I think, with our lack of familial ties, lack of allegiance, we’re in quite the position to just… make things go our way.”

Your eyes flit about the space around the two of you. Still, nobody’s within earshot. “And what’s our way?”

“The one where we benefit most.” Her gaze shifts from you to Roman, still sat on the couch, your laptop finally disconnected from the TV. As if he can feel your eyes boring into him, he looks up, catching you and Gerri staring. “The one where we have the most control.”

“Since when are you and Gerri all buddy buddy?” he asks the minute you step out of Shiv’s apartment. The bone-chilling January air smacks you in the face, blowing back your hair as you glance at him in the dark.

“We’re not. I met her today.” You simultaneously reach for each other’s hands, curling your fingers together.

“What’d she say?” he asks, voice just barely cracking. He brings his free hand to your intertwined ones, rubbing over the back of your hand in an attempt to warm it.

You don’t answer until you’re both in the car a few moments later, you sitting behind the wheel. “She made an interesting proposition about the entire… succession thing.”

He buckles his seat belt, not taking his eyes off you. “Yeah?”

“That her and I back you so that we have the power when you’re CEO.”

You tear your gaze from his, backing out of the apartment complex’s parking lot and pulling out onto the street. He says nothing for a bit, turning things over in his head.

“I mean, I wouldn’t really be against that,” he says carefully, failing to sound convincing. “I wouldn’t like it, but I mean, CEO, and the two smartest people I know pulling the strings so I don’t fuck up…”

“You’d be fine with that? You wouldn’t want, I don’t know, free will?”

“Well, it’s you and Gerri. Sure, you’ve both had your cold and calculating bullshit, but neither of you are capable of rendering me completely useless.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you ask, glancing at him when you stop at a red light.

He shrugs. “Just that you’re physically incapable of slighting me, because, you know”- he gestures at himself, taking your hand that wasn’t on the steering wheel and planting a kiss on the back of it -“and Gerri doesn’t even have it in her.”

You roll your eyes. “I mean, I could, but I won’t,” you say, teasing. He keeps your hand in his as you drive, night time New York lights blurring by.

“Would you do it, though?” he asks quietly. “Do you think I could do it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Am I… am I capable?” You can tell he’s still looking at you, but your eyes are in the road.

“Of course you’re capable,” you say immediately. “But it sounds like you don’t really… want it.”

“I mean, I want it. I want more for myself. I just… don’t really want Waystar. I want more than just fucking around in my stupid fucking office and having… having no substance.” The car’s in the parking garage of your own apartment now, but neither of you make a move to get out. He’s looking straight ahead of him, eyes slightly glazed over. It’s an expression you’ve never seen on him before. He looks troubled, like he’s actually at war with something in his head. “I mean, I feel like a week ago I would’ve strangled you for it. Now, I think about it, and it’s so… so boring.”

Your hands are still wrapped around each other, so you begin stroking small circles into his skin with your thumb. “Boring?”

“Unfulfilling. Dull. Like, what, I make billions of dollars every year for the rest of my life, doing absolutely nothing to earn it, and then I just die? What kind of life is that?”

You turn so that you can face him. “I didn’t know that was on your mind.”

Roman gives a mirthless laugh, bringing your hand to his shoulder. Vaguely aware of what he wants, you rub absently. “I didn’t, either. I don’t know.” His fingers trace over the back of your hand, still staring out the windshield rather than holding your gaze. “You make me feel all of these new things. I’m thinking about so much more, now that I’m taking you seriously.”

“You weren’t taking me serious before?” you ask playfully, trying to lighten the mood. You lean over the center console, using your hand on his shoulder to keep you steady, pressing a hot kiss to his jaw. “In the end, don’t do anything you don’t want to. Life’s not worth it if you’re not happy.”

You step out of the car, and Roman’s not far behind you. “You know,” he begins once you’re both safely inside the apartment, “I have no idea what we’re supposed to do.”

His coat gets tossed into the hallway closet, yours not far behind after he coaxes it off of you. “We’ll just do what we can.”

“You’re not very reassuring,” he mutters, shutting the closet door and pushing past you into the kitchen. You follow, reaching for his shoulders from behind him once he stops at the kitchen counter. He drops his face into his hands, somehow both tensing and relaxing at your touch.

“Roman.” Your thumbs glide over his shoulder blades, and he doesn’t respond. “What’s the actual problem here? We can talk. I’m here for you.”

“He’s my dad, Y/N. In the end he’s still my dad.” You gently knead his shoulders in an attempt to soothe him. He still doesn’t turn to face you. “Which is why it hurts so fuckin’ bad.”

“Tell me what hurts, Roman. We’ll fix it, I’ll fix it.”

“I want… I want him to love me like I love him. But I know-” he chokes on his words, and you realize he’s crying. You falter for barely a moment when he abruptly turns and buries his face into the crook of your neck, wrapping his arms around your back. You feel his tears trickling onto your collarbone, and you feel a twisting in your chest. You cradle the back of his head with one of your hands, the other going to the small of his back. “But I know it’ll never happen.” His grip tightens on you before he continues. “Yeah, that shit with you, and Gerri, and CEO… it sounds so fucking good, but Y/N, when I fucking dreamed of it, the only reason it ever mattered was that it was him. He wanted me there, he thought I was the best. But it was all just a dream, anyway. It doesn’t fucking matter if that’s not how it goes.”

He sobs into your shoulder, and you don’t move. You keep holding him. You’ll hold him until he lets go. You hope he doesn’t.

“We’ll figure something else out, then. It’s okay, Roman, it’s okay.” You press a tentative kiss to the side of his head. “You’re getting yourself worked up. We can talk about this later, yeah?” He pulls away to look at you, waterline still glistening. You cup his face with your hands, thumbing away the stray tears on his cheeks and under his eyes. “Wanna watch that show I was talking about the other day? Make you feel better, take your mind off things?”

He takes a deep, controlling breath, calming himself. “I know a better way we can get me to feel good,” he murmurs, not wasting any more time, taking you by the jaw and pulling your mouth to his. If your first few kisses were careful, arguably sweet, this one was reckless. Roman kisses you without abandon, mushing your lips against his. For the first time, he’s needy, he’s greedy, he’s fucking desperate. Messily, he’d turned the two of you so that your back was to the counter. “Up,” he utters, mouth barely leaving yours. He reaches behind you, barely gesturing at the counter top.

Vaguely, you register, and you brace your hands on his chest and jump, managing to land where he wants you. The counter isn’t that high up- it wasn’t a struggle. Immediately, he’s pressed up against you, hands sliding down your legs to loop them around the part of his torso they are dangling by. While your hands go to cup his face, his slide back up your clothing to settle on your hips.

You kiss him again, and again, and again. The only thing you can hear is the blood rushing through your ears and the soft noises of your lips on his. You pepper kisses onto his lips, and he makes quiet, contented noises. He’s completely relaxed. He’s letting you do whatever the fuck you want.

“Feeling better?” you ask into his mouth before kissing him again, long and deep, fingers digging deeper into his skin.

He groans in response, the vibration against your lips spine-tingling. “So much fucking better.” He pulls his mouth from yours, to your disappointment, and the both of you are panting, vying for air. He doesn’t pull away entirely, instead leaning back in to dot kisses to the corners of your mouth, then down your chin, down your neck. “You look fucking gorgeous from this angle. A fucking goddess among men.”

☾𖤓

When the morning arrives, the two of you are tangled together, your head nestled into his chest, his head atop yours. His arms are wound tightly around you, keeping you flush against him in a refusal to let go. When you wake up, all you can smell is the faint scent of his aftershave from the night before. You never want this to end.

You don’t open your eyes, trying to get even closer to him. You barely rub your cheek against his chest in an attempt to burrow into him. Roman murmurs softly in his sleep, shifting, bringing you with him and pressing his nose into your neck.

His breath fans over your skin, deliciously warm, sweetly soothing. You bring your hand to his cheek, gently stroking, admiring his peace-laden face.

You spend the next half hour like this, just looking at him, reflecting.

Your fiancé. Your Roman.

You’d never expect, in a million years, that this would be how you ended up. You let your fingers trace calming patterns into the crook of his jaw, and he’s practically purring. You savor these fleeting moments, this peace.

It’s like a dream. Everything is in slow motion, and you can feel everything before it happens. You know you’re going to fall for him. You’re going to fall so fucking hard. You’ll scrape your face on the pavement, skid your knees, bleed for him.

Also like a dream is the looming sense of doom. The feeling that you’re grasping at straws, waiting for everything to suddenly slip away. Because you know it will. You know, whatever path you take, it intersects with Logan Roy’s, and there’s quite the conflict in the distance.

Roman grunts from under you, shifting so that you’re laying on the bed rather than him. “Fuckin’ tryna kill me,” he mumbles into your neck. Despite his words, you can feel him smiling into your skin.

“I want all that money of yours,” you tease back, letting him drape an arm over your torso, readjusting so that his face is buried in your chest.

“Mm, don’t act like you don’t already own everything that I do,” he says, sleep still playing with his voice. “God, you could tell me you wanted to live in the White House and I’d blow all my money renting it out for you.”

You laugh airily, and before you know it, you’re both up and about, getting ready for work.

“I forgot to tell you,” he calls from across the apartment, him in the kitchen, you digging around in your closet. “The shareholder thing. Looks like Dad’s trying to rally the troops. He has all the old-timers questioning everything Ken does.”

“Anything from Marcia?” you shout back, finding the outfit you were hunting for.

“She agreed to meet at the firm. Also, I heard from that pompous piece of googly-eyed garbage that Connor’s already had a lawsuit processed. He goes to court in a month or something.”

You stroll out into the living room, watching Roman muck about the kitchen, making breakfast. It smells good, at least, and you can tell he’s melting cheese over eggs while he scrambles them. “Are you talking about Pierce, or Greg?”

“Pierce. I don’t think Greg is that bad…”

You snort, rounding the counter to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Whatever you say.” He turns to briefly smack a kiss onto your cheek in return before getting back to his eggs. "Hopefully your daddy makes a scene.”

“Never refer to him like that again.”

At the firm, you decide that you’re going to pretend to keep working on Connor’s case. You’re itching for shit to hit the fan, to see Logan step in. As far as you know, everything is in place, and you’re getting closer to catching him red handed.

On your office phone’s intercom, your assistant buzzes to get your attention. “Siobhan is here.”

“Send her in, Cherry, thank you!”

When Shiv’s sat across from you, dressed in a power suit, she’s distracted. “I didn’t know you employed solely pretty people.” She gestures at you, then looks back at Cherry’s desk.

You laugh. “I do my best.” You absentmindedly click a pen, turning some thoughts over in your head. “So how are we going to play this?”

Shiv relaxes a bit in her seat, regarding you carefully. “I say we go for the jugular. There’s no reason to go easy.”

You lift a shoulder in a half shrug. “It’s your call.”

Another buzz. “She’s here.”

“Put her in Conference Room C. Love you lots, Cherry.”

Shiv flushes slightly. “Her name is Cherry?”

You shoo her out of her office before she can continue the conversation, and the two of you make your way down the hall. You see her through the glass before you get to the conference room. Marcia sits, hands folded primly in her lap, lips pressed into a thin line. You sit yourself in the chair directly across from her, Shiv following, settling in beside you. She wears a steely expression, her face devoid of emotion.

“Is it really so bad, just telling Dad you don’t want him anymore?” she asks Marcia, leaning back into her chair.

“That is not the topic of today’s conversation,” Marcia manages back, tone icy.

“Before we get to that,” you tell her, “you’re going to have to swear a few oaths. You’re Catholic, aren’t you, Mrs. Roy?”

She nods, hesitant. You reach under the conference table, where a small storage container is attached, and pull out a Bible. You stand, round the table, and make her set her hand on the holy book.

You swear her in, and you’re back in your seat next to Shiv. You fiddle with your pen, as does Shiv with hers. Your notepads are set before you both, at the ready to take notes.

“Just so you remember,” Shiv drawls, “if we find out anything you say here is untrue, you’re in deep shit.”

“Let’s start out easy, light.” You cross your ankles over each other, keeping your eyes on Marcia. “How long have you and your… new friend been seeing each other?”

She sighs, lips pursed. “A little over a year now.”

Shiv’s lips press together, keeping whatever comment she had lined up to herself. Instead, she asks, “What are you aware of, if anything, that my father has done that isn’t… to your taste?”

Marcia takes a moment to respond. “Bribes. Threats. What’s new?”

“You’re going to need to be a bit more specific,” Shiv replies quickly, pen poised over paper.

“Well,” Marcia says, drawing the word out, “he’s had private meetings. With investors, with accountants, with employees. He always has something to hold over them. There is always some hidden record, some bastard child, to bring them to him.”

“And if we were to ask you to remember who some of these people were, would you be able to come up with names?” you ask carefully, glancing down at your empty notepad then back up at Marcia.

“Yes, I’m sure I could.”

You and Shiv both jot things down.

Shiv opens her mouth to continue, but Marcia beats her to it. “There is something important you should know.”

“By all means,” you say, trying to be encouraging.

“I have come to know your first case quite well,” she tells you, averting her gaze. “It is a shame, what happened to you.” You and Shiv exchange a glance. “But despite all of the theatrics my husband enjoys, what he’s presented to you still is not the full truth.” She takes a moment, formulating her next sentences. “It was not Connor committing the fraud. It was Logan. He manufactured evidence, he framed his son, and I… I’m fairly sure the poor boy thinks he committed the crime.”

The room is dead silent for what seems like ages. You don’t know where to look. Your eyes flit from Marcia, who seems to be contemplating something in her head, to Shiv, who looks just as confused, just as off put as you do.

Marcia seems to decide something, then continues speaking. “I have had enough of the drama. I will testify in court against my husband if you help me turn our relationship into a thing of the past.”

You throw Shiv a triumphant look before turning back to Marcia.

“That sounds like quite the respectable deal.”

[graciereadshannigram]

Hi! You don’t know me, I’m not a mutual and I’m new and essentially inactive so far on Tumblr aside from setting up my profile, so please prepare for an extremely random interaction. I’m clinging hard to the anonymous function here. I’m a somewhat new writer on ao3 in the Hannibal fandom. I’m mid 30s so maybe that’s part of it, but I know no one in the fandom world at all. Not in person or online. I just finally decided to try out writing after many years of reading and I’ve been loving it. Like you (based on your pinned post), I’ve historically mostly written academically and professionally, and flexing those muscles in this way is such a pleasure. I’ve read a lot of your stories on Ao3 and I loved them all. And you pop up a lot on the Hannibal dashboard on Tumblr and seem to be a pretty kind person, so I thought you might be someone I could ask this somewhat awkward question without judgment: how did you go about building your fannibal community (I’m just going off of tumblr comments in assuming that you have a fannibal fam)? Now that I’m writing, the urge to chat about random Hannibal thoughts or bounce ideas is overwhelming, and I get the impression most people have their fannibal crew as an outlet for that. Right now I’m just annoying the hell out of my completely disinterested partner who thinks I’m losing my mind lol. So I’m trying to figure out if there’s something I’m missing about how people connect in this world or if it’s just Tumblr and Ao3 and a stroke of luck? If you think this is weird, please feel free to leave me on read lol. No hard feelings at all, I feel weird enough about this as it is. But if you have any advice and wouldn’t mind sharing, I’d welcome it. Thanks and thanks for all your great writing!  

omg hi, this is such a sweet ask! genuinely honored that you'd reach out to me at all <3

funny you should mention annoying the hell out of your partner because SAME lolol that's what drove me to start this account in the first place.

so. i'm going to attempt to give a coherent response here, please bear with me.

when i first started out, i pretty much mass followed anybody who had a hannibal-related account and then just started interacting with people. it was mostly just commenting on or reblogging other people's stuff, and i felt wayyyyyyyy out of my comfort zone because, historically, i've been a massive lurker.

then i decided i wanted to do my monthly hannigram fic rec posts because i was tracking that data anyway and i just wanted to do something with it other than just letting it all rot in the spreadsheet never to see the light of day again. and turns out, a lot of people like to ask for and give fic recs! so that was a cool way to find cool myoots.

and then i got the itch to write and started to post Reciprocal Alchemy and was utterly blown away by the response people had. off the top of my head, @incidentsofunknownorigins, @coffee-in-rain, and @serri-i were all very vocally supportive from the jump and i pretty much was like, "hi we're going to be friends, no you don't have a choice, no i'm not sorry" lolol

and then i just kept writing and more people kept engaging (i'm still geeking over the fact that so many people enjoy my writing and are kind enough to make sure i know they like it <3) and here we are?? i think it was helpful that i linked my tumblr at the end of every chapter or fic that i post so people who find me on ao3 can come say hi here as well.

oh and i posted an insane amount of content in a very short amount of time for a popular event (kinktober was almost the death of me lolol) and that resulted in a wide variety of people seeing and reading my stuff.

all that is to say, you're pretty spot on with the tumblr/ao3/stroke of luck combination!

i have no idea if any of this was helpful for you, but hopefully something in here is :)

also, would love to be mutuals!! some of my best fic ideas come from random conversations i've had with other friends and writers, so let's go insane over these gay cannibals together!

all of my love, Grace

[ninjagobythenumbers]

Tournament of Sources Spreadsheet Updates

Bechdel Test

This was a perfect season (bechdel test wise), but the fragmentation of Wyldfire, Sora, and Nya into different groups made it difficult in those later episodes. I had to strain to find dialogue in a couple of episodes that succeeded (I actually didn't find dialogue in episode 19 but @genericplaceholdername did so thank you to them). In the one where Sora fought Kizzy, I counted non-verbal interaction because Kizzy bowed in response to Sora. Sora was my hero this season as while she did mostly talk to Lloyd, Arin, and Cole, she, thankfully was also trying to figure out what was up with Jordanna. Wyldfire was pining after Roby and beefing with Cinder so she'd rarely talk to other women. As I predicted, Nya was thinking about Jay so she mainly talked to the older ninja as they knew him. Zeatrix would mainly only talk to Lloyd and Ras and Rox would mainly talk to her brother and Ras, so the female antagonists failed to be as helpful as I would have hoped. For the women fans out there, season one of DR is going to be your best choice, but season two is of course, still great. They just need to hang out more.

Groupings

Even more than season one of DR, parts one and two of this season really just feel like seasons in their own right. I've labeled accordingly and I may go back and give DRS1P2 a label of its own for consistency's sake. Riyu felt a lot more like a character this season rather than an accessory to someone else's plot line so I gave him his own row because he deserves it. As you can see, there's only been 3 episodes before this where he deviated from Arin/Sora, which is why I didn't give him a row until now. Tournament of Sources really made me feel like I had to change how I do this chart, because I've been operating based on what the ninja are doing in the beginning of the episode as up until now, those groupings rarely changed mid-episode. However, in this season, it seemed the ninja would be in a different grouping each scene, likely due to the fact there was no barrier of travel as, aside from Kai and, for most of the season, Jay, they were all in one location. As you can see, the ninja tended to go on little sidequests of their own, with Arin and Riyu going on the most, but they all gravitated towards staying with the team. I don't think the non-incapcitated ninja spent a single episode without meeting as a team, aside from episode 11 in which Zane was training and Cole was in an unknown location, presumably the Land of the Lost Things, because Geo mentioned he got the invite right after Cole left. I've kept Jay on the business trip designation, because he's still just doing what he's doing because he doesn't know who he is so it's an odd state between incapacitation and a mission.

I did have to add a new designation which I did not expect to have to do, but Kai was voided, Nya was in a cave, and Lloyd's a glass cannon. A crazy thing about this season is that, normally when someone's incapacitated, that's the main focus, but Nya and Riyu's capture occurred completely off-screen and they were the only ones working on Kai's recovery. There's a record number of different states of incapacitation. With Jay's amenesia we have 4 and depending on what Pixal's up to we may even have 5.

Combinations

Thanks to Kai getting voided and the overall structure of a tournament season, part 2 ended up being great for "Three's a Crowd." Sure, 2 fulfillments may look small but there's only 8 combinations left to complete. Half of them involve Jay so it might take a while. I do need to note that a massive asterisk should be put on nearly all of the DR fulfillments as I ignore the presence of the kids. I may amend to include them in the future, but that would be hundreds more unique combinations, so I need to wait until they've had a lot more scenes.

Timeline

Jay was still in the administration at the end of part one and he needed at least a little time to assimilate into a wolf cult, so I put 2 months in between part one and two, which I title Blood Moon and Tournament of Sources respectively. The reason I didn't put more than 2 months, aside from my policy of always putting the least time possible, is because Sora mentioned that saving the world had prevented them from going to the Administration to find information on Arin's parents sooner, indicating it hasn't been too long since the Blood Moon.

Ages

I only updated this chart because I updated the timeline. One interesting note of dialogue for me was Cole saying "You know I ran away from that dancing school my dad put me in when I was a kid." It's sort of a similar piece of evidence to Kai referring to Arin and Sora as kids, and it's interesting to hear him refer to his pilot season self as a kid, but it's also possible he ran away from the school much earlier than the pilot season. Thanks for reading this far! I'm going to start working on some suggested charts. Please let me know if you have any ideas or feedback!

[flightfoot]

helloo!! i dunno if you still do ml fic asks, if you don't, feel free to ignore! I always see you in comment sections on ao3, so I figured you know a lot of em xD

Do you have any fic recs about the Miraculous Team doing all sorts of shenanigans? Just funny fics with all of them! Thanks so much🥰

Oooh yeah sure, those fics are fun! I actually don't have a ton of recs for that, but "Impromptu training exercises" is about as exact of a fic as you're likely to get, and is criminally unknown, it's a lot of fun! I found three additional fics that are looser fits, but are still in the same ballpark at least, so hopefully you enjoy them.

---

impromptu training exercises by @14muffinz

“I didn’t do anything,” Rena says proudly, not flinching away from the ire of their leader. “Eagle, on the other hand…” “DO YOU HAVE IT!?” Rooster Bold shouts eagerly, running forward to shake Rena wildly by the shoulders. “Do. You. HAVE IT!?” “YES,” Rena shouts back. [Eagle deposits an heroic object of importance known simply as The Ball in Alya's bedroom. Chaos, a game of keep away, and bonding insues. Also, a spreadsheet.]

This was a really fun fic! Basically the NYC superheroes play this training game where they attempt to steal this one tennis ball from each other and hold onto it for as long as possible. It's led to this one, ratty ball becoming an important piece of superhero memorabilia.

Naturally, the Miracuteam continues the tradition.

I love how you get little vignettes of what all the different characters are doing, getting a glimpse inside their heads as they try to find, steal, and keep The Ball. If you're a fan of hijinks or the Miracuteam more generally, this'll be right up your alley!

---

The 8 Weddings of Alix Kubdel by The_Rabbit42

The bet is simple: with the Rabbit Miraculous, Alix will be speaking at all of her friends’ weddings. No matter what age they tie the knot, she’ll be there looking the same. From Alix’s perspective, she’s going to each ceremony and reception one right after another in a nonstop bender.

This fic’s a lot of fun! I loved seeing all the different weddings, as well as how Alix slowly felt more and more out of place, with going forwards in time. Some of the weddings could get, uh. Exciting as well XD. And while there’s been years in-between Alix’s appearances for her friends at the wedding, for Alix, it’s only been a few hours, if that…

---

One Massive Cover-Up by @madbug

When Ladybug gifted Alya Césaire the Fox miraculous, she made her promise to keep her identity a secret. People start speculating on the Ladyblog, about how Alya doesn't record Rena's fights, and one thing leads to another and before she knows it, there are multiple threads on her website about why she is Rena Rouge. Alya can't delete all the comments, that would be suspicious. So she does the one thing that no self-respecting superhero would ever do: She writes fanfic about herself. (Aka: in which Plagg decides that the best way to get more cheese is blackmail, and Adrien is oblivious)

---

several people are typing by oops_I_lost_my_marbles

When Ladybug gives her private cell phone number to Adrien Agreste, the last thing she expected was Chat Noir to text her at 2:30 in the morning. Next thing you know, Ladybug has a crush on Marinette- and all of Paris knows about it. Stay tuned for a collection of startling discoveries made by the residential dumbasses of Paris. Except, it happens over text- which makes everything simultaneously better and worse.

[mitzirockerextendeduniverse]

[Hi! For... god, years now, I've had this massive Spreadsheet (yes, it requires a capital letter) of retro JRPGs I've wanted to (1) play my way through and (2) blog about. (1) was fairly easy after I stopped trying to play on original hardware, but I found it surprisingly hard to do (2) without it devouring all my free time. So instead of a dedicated blog, I'm just gonna do these short summary posts here whenever I beat a game. There's two in the backlog right now, starting with...]

What it is: The Tower of Druaga (ドルアーガの塔 Druaga no Tō) for Famicom, released on the 6th of August, 1985, developed and published by Namco. Based on the arcade game of the same name from June 1984, also published by Namco and chiefly designed by Masanobu Endō, creator of early scrolling shmup Xevious, it's the first game in - the Spreadsheet as a whole, yes, but also the Babylonian Castle Saga, a collection of (for the most part) vaguely RPG-like action games that tell the story of a prince named Gil, his lover, the priestess Ki, and their quest to restore peace to their loosely-Babylonian fantasy world.

What it's about:

I think the attract screen puts it pretty well! There's some more wrinkles to the backstory, which I mostly got from a strategy guide released at the time - an invading empire, the goddess Ishtar, the precise mechanics behind why, exactly, this is our heroes' last chance to save their kingdom - quite a lot for a mid-80s arcade game. It's pretty thin by RPG standards, but as a setup, it works, and I found it surprisingly engrossing.

How it plays: How do you make an RPG work in the arcade? Apparently, you turn it into a Pac-Man clone. Okay, that's a little flippant; Druaga may be a maze chase game, but there's a lot more going on in it than in most arcade games of its day. On the surface, it's a game about running around mazes, killing monsters, and grabbing keys to get to the next floor, until you defeat Druaga and rescue Ki on the top of the tower. All you have to do is fight your way to the sixtieth floor, right?

In any other arcade game of its era, maybe, but not here. Almost every floor of the tower also contains a hidden treasure that can only be revealed by performing a specific action unique to that floor. The higher Gil gets up the tower, the more he'll need them, from books to reveal the layout of darkened floors to a series of items that turn the increasingly common dragons from the most dangerous enemies in the game to an easily ignored afterthought. Pretty much every useful item in the game (there's several duds and a few traps) is needed to defeat Druaga, so knowing where they are and how to reveal them is absolutely key to beating the game.

The catch - because of course there's a catch - is that neither the treasures' locations nor their revealing methods are signposted at all. Every single one has to be trial-and-error brute-forced out, and they can get pretty arcane - entering a fairly long cheat code, defeating several enemies in a specific order, walking over a particular tile in a particular direction... The intent was for arcade-goers to 'solve' the game together, figuring out all its secrets over the course of weeks or months, but when you don't have a friendly mid-80s Japanese arcade crowd to help you out all you're left with is a mountain of guesswork. Or a walkthrough, which has been a standard bonus feature on its Namco Museum rereleases since the mid-90s.

What I thought: I had a lot of fun with this game! Admittedly I was using a walkthrough (in Japanese, because part of the purpose of the Spreadsheet is to practice my language skills) to bypass about half of the Intended Experience™, but the other half, the straightforward arcade action Pac-Man-with-a-sword gameplay loop, was engaging enough in its own right. Gil controls really well, you never feel like you're fighting the programming instead of the monsters, you can always tell why you died even if the game took a cheap shot, and its insanely generous continue system lets you jump right back to the level you were on with all your items intact when you run out of lives. It's still tough, but it's tough in a fair way, breaking up its fast-paced action into discrete digestible chunks with a chance to breathe between every floor. And frankly, though it is 1980s quarter-muncher hard, I've played indie puzzle platformers that were much worse.

And I do think it succeeds at distilling the RPG into an arcade format, though the result is only an RPG by the loosest possible definition. Despite the lack of numbers and exploration (well, in a sense) there's a distinct feeling of progression to Gil's journey up the tower, a kind of character growth uncommon to - basically any genre outside the RPG in 1984. As Gil collects treasures, he grows faster, stronger, better at navigating the labyrinths, to the point that, despite the increasingly tougher challenges the game throws at you, it almost gets easier the further along you get. With the continue system I mentioned, you can even jump back to floors you've already cleared (mostly to replace a particular item that occasionally breaks) and breeze through the monsters that once gave you so much trouble. It's this kind of thoughtful design that makes me really appreciate Druaga, more than I honestly expected to when I first booted it up. Give it a try, it's pretty good!

[starseedfxofficial]

The One Multi-Timeframe Tool That Traders Overlook: Volume Weighted Average Price (VWAP) If you're looking to improve your trading strategy, it's time to start thinking like a detective—and by that, I mean piecing together clues from multiple timeframes. Enter Volume Weighted Average Price (VWAP), the underrated hero of advanced trading. Most traders treat VWAP like an annoying spreadsheet formula they vaguely remember from math class, but let me tell you, this indicator is the real MVP—especially when it comes to analyzing multiple timeframes. Volume Weighted Average Price is not your standard technical tool. It’s a hybrid of price action and volume that can help you read the market better than a plot twist in your favorite TV series. If you’ve ever wondered why that seemingly “perfect” trade went sideways, it’s probably because you weren’t seeing the big picture—and VWAP helps you do just that. Let’s dive in. Why Most Traders Get VWAP Wrong (And How You Can Avoid It) Before we move on, let me get something out of the way: VWAP isn’t magic, and it’s definitely not a "get-rich-quick" tool. The number one mistake traders make with VWAP? Treating it like a price prediction tool. Using VWAP properly means understanding its context, not just staring at it like you stare at your coffee when it’s gone cold. In essence, VWAP calculates the average price of a security, weighted by volume, over a particular timeframe. Traders often get too narrow with their timeframe—but here’s where the real magic happens: using VWAP across multiple timeframes. By doing so, you’re effectively creating a panoramic view of market behavior. It’s like trying to solve a mystery without seeing all the evidence; with multi-timeframe VWAP, you see not only who did it but how and why. The Hidden Multi-Timeframe Trick to Spot Market Trends Multi-timeframe analysis might sound intimidating, but trust me—it's like riding a bike. Sure, it's tough at first, but once you get it, you'll wonder how you ever lived without it. Picture this: You’re on a 5-minute chart, and VWAP shows you support forming. But then, you pull back and look at the 1-hour VWAP, and—plot twist—you see the price bumping into major resistance. Without this expanded view, you're basically attempting to fly a plane without a dashboard. Spoiler alert: It’s going to crash. When analyzing VWAP across different timeframes, you get two crucial benefits: - Trend Confirmation: If VWAP from a larger timeframe indicates resistance while your shorter timeframe shows bullish action, you might want to think twice before jumping in. - Bias Setting: The VWAP on higher timeframes can give you a directional bias—think of it as your compass. If you're ignoring these clues, it's like following GPS directions without noticing that the car next to you is swerving. Don’t be that driver. How to Predict Market Moves with Precision Using VWAP Here’s a lesser-known fact: institutions love VWAP. No, really. They use it to minimize slippage and sneak their massive trades into the market without setting off alarm bells. Picture a lion hunting in the savannah—VWAP is the high grass. Now, while institutions use VWAP to camouflage their trades, you can use it to figure out where the big cats are lurking. Watching VWAP on multiple timeframes can give you an early sniff of institutional activity, a bit like having a nose that can detect cake from two miles away (okay, maybe that's just me). Step-by-Step Guide: Implementing VWAP Across Multi-Timeframes Ready to put VWAP to work like an insider? Here’s a step-by-step guide to start seeing results: - Start with the Daily VWAP: The daily VWAP provides a reliable benchmark for long-term bias. Think of it as the map for your adventure. If the price is above the daily VWAP, you can assume buyers are in control and vice versa. - Add the Hourly VWAP: Now, narrow it down to the hourly chart. Here, VWAP will show more localized support and resistance levels. This is your zoom-in lens to better observe what’s happening in the current session. - Zoom in on 5-15 Minute VWAP: For entry and exit precision, this timeframe is your go-to. Use it to find those ideal entries—like waiting for that pair of shoes to finally go on sale but without the risk of them running out of your size. - Confirm with Volume: VWAP without volume is like bread without butter. Look for how volume behaves around the VWAP—when price moves sharply through VWAP on high volume, it’s usually a sign that institutions are playing a major hand. Hidden Patterns & VWAP’s Role in Breakout Trading Here's where things get spicy: VWAP is often used in breakout strategies to identify whether a move has legs or not. Say you’re watching price hovering just below VWAP on the 1-hour chart, like a rocket waiting to launch. A breakout above with volume? Well, my friend, that’s your rocket taking off—and if you’ve set your VWAPs across multiple timeframes, you’ll have a much better idea if this rocket is headed for the moon or if it’ll be a dud. And let's be real: No one likes catching duds. Especially those that fall faster than the laugh track in a bad sitcom. Why Using VWAP is Like Having X-Ray Vision By layering VWAPs, you’re adding another dimension to your trading. It’s like you suddenly have X-ray glasses that let you see through the market’s façade and pinpoint institutional activity. Imagine the VWAP as the equivalent of buying those bargain-bin glasses that promise 20/20 vision—but instead of getting ripped off, you suddenly have clarity on where the big fish are playing. Multi-timeframe VWAP doesn’t just show you where price is; it reveals the weight behind those moves. Unconventional VWAP Tactics to Outsmart Other Traders Here’s an unconventional approach: instead of using VWAP as a trend identifier, use it as a stop-hunting detector. Yup, you heard that right. Retail traders get stopped out by price crossing below VWAP all the time, only to see price reverse sharply. Why? Because bigger players know where retail traders place their stops—hint: around VWAP. This knowledge gives you an edge; when you see price dip below VWAP without volume, you know it might be a fake-out. This insight alone can save you from a lot of those "accidentally bought shoes in the wrong size" moments. Wrap-Up: Level Up with Multi-Timeframe VWAP Mastering VWAP across multiple timeframes is like unlocking a new level in your favorite video game—one where you get extra powers, bonus points, and even a sneak peek at the hidden Easter eggs. When you apply VWAP correctly, you’re no longer the player wondering why the game seems rigged against you. Instead, you’re the one that knows all the cheat codes. Take the time to practice VWAP with a multi-timeframe approach, and you’ll soon find yourself spotting moves before they even happen. Remember, the market is like an elaborate movie plot—it loves to mislead and catch people off guard. But with VWAP as your multi-timeframe co-star, you’ll never be left clueless in the final scene. And hey, if you’re looking to level up even further, why not get some help? Check out our services at StarseedFX—we’ve got exclusive economic insights, elite community membership, and smart trading tools to help you stay ahead of the game. —————– Image Credits: Cover image at the top is AI-generated Read the full article

[domers-group8]

Pavel - Timeline/Schedule

Hey everyone! Just wanted to drop in and share our schedule and some notes from our meeting yesterday.

Link to schedule/timeline on google spreadsheets - Group 8 - Timeline (sharepoint.com)

Let me know what you guys think and if you feel this works well. Here's a few ideas I have for us to begin with this week during PreProd and going into production. Pavel Thinking I could draw a few pieces of concept art for us to start with, since I'm here to study "MA Concept Art" after all haha. Here's the lineup I've got in mind: - A spaceship interior concept to give Alec a helping hand. - An environment concept showcasing the sci-fi farmland for Neel's vision. - And last but not least, an atmospheric city/skyline concept for Erik to dive into. Erik - Thinking you could gather any free assets to do with sky/atmosphere that may be useful from unreal marketplace as a starting point (if you think it's necessary). This one might be useful: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fo/sdtbda2lzcbtdjopt9eqg/h?rlkey=qgc3zl2z8vc9uoxs20e66jk1o&dl=0

- Next up, think it would be wise to explore different methods for creating our dreamy clouds – whether it's through VDB clouds, volumetrics, or using imageplanes with cloud textures. I'm sure there are some handy tutorials on YouTube that could guide us through these techniques. This might be useful to look at as well: 30 Day Free Trial - Award winning weather renderer | Simul trueSKY - Now, here's a puzzle for us: I'm wondering if you could investigate the possibility of having our cloud and sky layer gracefully deform into a circle, mimicking the city's shape. It sounds a bit tricky, but I'm hoping a bit of research will shed some light on the best approach.

- And on a slightly lower priority note, wouldn't it be cool if we could smoothly fly through the clouds without them awkwardly clipping through the interior of our vehicle? If there's a way to tackle that, it would be an awesome bonus. Alec - I'll hustle to get the concept for the interior ready asap, so you can jump right into crafting it. In the mean time, thinking you could explore some interior references for our vehicle to find what vibes with you? Or maybe take a shot at polishing your Modeling skills or give Substance Painter a spin for some creative experimentation for now. Neel - Thinking a good way to kick things off would be by checking out what assets we can find for free on the unreal marketplace that could be useful. If we find any gems, perhaps that would make things easier for us. - Some assets that might be useful could be some small sci-fi buildings in the distance, could have some barns in there too. See what you can think of?

- Try test and see if you could make some fields with grass and flowers, as well. Think this is a great reference for sci-fi farmland! UE4 - Field (youtube.com)

Edmund

- I was thinking it would be awesome if you could shape the narrative of our animation. Think a good way to do this would be creating a storyboard with a variety of shots that have great flow/pacing? For instance, we could decide on the ideal duration for the launch sequence and then figure out when the spaceship should start emerging from the clouds to reveal a city in the background. From there, we can determine the right timing for a massive building to appear, towering above the clouds and so on. - If you have any cool ideas for key-shots or memorable moments, feel free to include them in the storyboard!

- Once we have the narrative locked in, we can start exploring the sound and AI-voice elements.

- After, think you could dive into Premiere to see what's possible with your post-production magic. Are there any exciting effects you think we could incorporate, maybe during the spaceship's journey into the light or wormhole at the end? I'm open to your thoughts on any cool enhancements that could elevate the animation. Looking forward to working on this together!

References

koooolalala. (2017). UE4 - Field. [Online Video]. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5cf0-q3ikA [Accessed 31 January 2024]

simul. (NA). trueSKY. [Online]. Available at: https://simul.co/ [Accessed 31 January 2024]

[reflectionsofacreator]

It’s like. I like my job. I like being a barista, I like the inventory management and multiple orders that I do. I could happily work this job for another ten years, I’ve already worked it for six. I don’t get pressed about things, rarely does a customer make me feel anything other than mild irritation if they’re being rude.

But the fucking. Management. Corporate. Has sucked my soul out and wrung me dry. I’m so so tired of doing my best and being told that’s not enough, I’m so tired of watching my coworkers and friends get jerked around and blamed for things that aren’t their fault, I’m so tired of the bookfloor managers (who aren’t even cafe trained) acting like petty teenagers and screwing us over.

We’ve been short staffed for over a year — my cafe regularly does about 1k in sales per day (before they cut our hours), and the general rule of thumb is that per every 11 transactions per hour, you get another barista. So 22 would be 2, 33 etc. we only have four people on Saturday for the Whole Day, regularly. They refused to get us Christmas hires last year, and what do you know, all 6 of our employees got sick at various times. Meaning that one person went down, the others picked up slack and got overworked, then another person went down, in a massive cycle.

No one taught me how to do the ordering and inventory either; most of my coworkers got scant training and thrown to the wolves (I came from a different store that had some training). I figured out a system that works for me and my adhd brain, and yet me and the cafe manager are in trouble for not using the spreadsheets that I cannot make sense of and was never taught how to use. Even the baking ones! Every morning they want us to count how many of each item we have and then how many we’re supposed to pull! It’s just stupid busywork when I can just look at the damn case and go oh yeah I’m missing six of this or that.

I’m overworked on top of having health issues (anemia) that are making me fatigued, and the stress of trying to find another job that also won’t treat me like shit is. Immaculate. And worse, I feel so guilty every time I need to call out (despite almost never calling out) because I know how much it screws over the other people in the cafe, aka the only coworkers I care about.

Man I am just. So tired.

I am so fucking exhausted

[absolutebl]

I have a somewhat specific recommendation request. I'm looking for angst or action or something that isn't a romcom (I love them but I'm full up on sweet and sugary with terrible sound effects). But I'd like to avoid unhappy endings or ambiguous endings. Basically Angst with a Happy Ending?

Oooo, what a challenging question. A bit dark & gritty even? 

This is not something I personally watch for but it IS something I track. Or can figure out. So time to get out the big old spreadsheet. 

So I think you're thinking like Manner of Death? What about Until We Meet Again? Does that qualify? One of the couples doesn’t have an HEA. Imma assume you’ve seen that one. Everyone should have seen it by now or I’m a total failure as a blogger. (That no sound effects rule is a good one, helpful.) On the flip side, what about Light On Me? That’s high angst, but I guess it’s a bit bright and a little romcomy. Humm...

I think I need to divide this into two. I’ll do the high angst one here and the action ones in a different post. Okay? 

This is in order of my personal preference, so highest rated at the top. But remember this isn’t my favorite kind of BL so take my judgements with that codicil in mind. 

BL + GRITTY HIGH ANGST BUT STILL HEA

Japan could easily own this category. With Japanese BL half the time I'm like: were is all this angst coming from or is it just general ennui over the state of the universe? They so emo. But Thailand had a surprising number of offerings and Taiwan just does gritty SO WELL. 

We Best Love (Taiwan) 

Specifically the second season, but I think of this BL as a package deal and would never watch season 1 without season 2. There’s a tiny hint of romcom but not really because its such an aching pining seme meets tsundere uke dynamic (and that’s never gonna be gentle) and it’s higher heat Taiwan at the helm, so it’s bound to have an essential grittiness to it. It’s GREAT. I love this BL. 

A Tale of Thousand Stars (Thailand - YouTube) 

I have to assume most people will have seen this but it’s gotta be at the top of this list. High angst, check, lots of drama, check, little bit of action even, check. Also great cast, killer acting, and a good story. It probably should win this category. But also, most of you will have seen it. If not, what are you doing on tumblr? Go watch it, ya chump. 

Love Sick 1 & 2 (Thailand - Netflix & Youtube)

It's a massive buy in since the HEA comes after what? 50 episodes? 100? It seems to go on forever. But if ya want a gritty high school coming of age soap opera, it's there waiting for you - ready to take over your life for DAYS. 

Given (Japan) 

Japan’s recent classic BL entry adapted from the wildly popular yaoi manga series. An angst filled high school BL about the boy with the magic voice and tragic backstory, and the other boy who is fascinated by both. The singing is... NOT good. But the rest of the music is okay. 

Dark Blue Kiss (Thailand - YouTube) 

Look it ranks for this. It’s a highly dramatic long term relationship between a bad boy and a good boy, full of miscommunication and trying to stay in the closet and all kinds of unnecessary obstacles but it’s TayNew so do we care? No we don’t. And it has a lovely ending. 

HIStory Obsessed (Taiwan - Viki) 

This one starts off with the uke lead being killed in a car accident and then rebooting his life. The first time around he was obsessed with this seme and gave him everything but was betrayed. The secodn time around he’s not gonna let that happen again. But fate’s a bitch because the seme just becomes obsessed with him instead. It’s all push/pull drama, classic yaoi tropes, and trauma avoidance tactics, but it ends happily. 

The En of Love: Love Mechanics (Thailand - YouTube)

Messy cheating disasters and the origin of YinWar. Part of the reason I love these two is they aren't particularly sweet with each other. That said, this is still a Thai uni BL, so there's very much THAT element which might not be what you are looking for.

Life: Love on the Line (Japan - Viki)

This is probably the best installment for this category. It’s a truly great BL and the only reason it’s not one of my favorites is I don’t like high angst and this much tortured self-reflective trauma. It follows high school sweethearts through their early romance, co habitation, and then (basically) divorce and eventual reunion. It is the very definition of hard fought and high angst and if that’s what you want, you’ll love it.

Second Chance (Thailand -  Line TV)

High angst Thai BL pulp with a slightly confusing story and way more drama than is called for but elevated by some solid acting and good kisses. It’s enjoyable. It’s also being put onto YouTube right now. So you might as well watch it. I was just thinking about a rewatch myself.

Follow My Sunshine SAU VẠT NẮNG (Vietnam - YouTube)

Neighbors and best friends edge around becoming more than that complicated by the usual high school issues and seme is a disaster bi. Stay all the way through the credits for that happy ending, okay? Don’t forget. 

Theory of Love (Thailand - YouTube) 

Also ranks, although I will assume you have seen it. It isn’t all that gritty, but it is VERY angsty. In fact this is the angst to beat all angst. If you just wanna watch the gay boy cry, SUFFER, and pine for his straight best friend.. then this is your jam. I’m not wild about this BL, but it fits the brief. 

Irresistible Love: Secret of the Valet & Irresistible Love 2: Uncontrolled Love (China)

You didn't put quality restrictions in place so yeah, this one qualifies. This is an early Chinese BL with the whipping boy trope. Young very rich kid basically decides this other kid belongs to him, convinces his family to adopt said child, and they enter a 20 odd year master/servant dynamic. As they get older it gets sexual, but so much drama happens. They do end up together but it's rough going and very hard fought. All the triggers.

That said this is classic Chinese BL of the kind they just don’t make anymore so almost worth watching for that.

My Gear & Your Gown (Thailand - YouTube)

There’s a point with this BL where I’m not sure i’m judging it fairly because my expectations were so high. Believe it or not this is a GMMTV offering. It’s a messy angsty story of two boys who fall in love and then just go all over odd about it, the pacing is way off but the angst is way high and it does end happily. 

Recent Adds:

The 8th Senese

Between Us

Obscure ones in case you’ve seen all the ones I suggested: 

Does the Flower Bloom? (Japan) -Super atmospheric and a little slow about a talented artist and recent orphan in deep depression who falls unexpectedly in love with a much older man. It’s been a while sicne i watched this one but I am 90% certain it ends happily. 

Junjou: Pure Heart (Japan - YouTube) - High school crushes (or something) reunite unexpectedly because of work. Start an affaire.

Innocent (Taiwan - Gaga) - This one tackles mental health and a long term relationship, high heat.

Light (Taiwan - Gaga) - Every trigger you could possibly want but also very high heat and well acted. It’s about an undercover cop and a rent boy plus it’s Taiwan, so the very definition of gritty.

Together with Me (Thailand) - And only this one installment of the KornKnock saga. The series before and after don't count. It's a crazy-town plot line... erm, would we call it a plot line? Anyhoozle, but it is hella angsty so basically it qualifies.

The Yearbook (Thailand) - Atmospheric, slow moving, sad, and pulp level quality this is a story of parting and the reuniting, I disn’t enjoy this very much but it does rate to your specs.

So Much In Love (Thailand - Line TV)- Okay, so this is a pretty classic Thai BL pulp and it has all the expected issues, but it also didn't have the budget for sound effects so that's not one of them. I actually like the main story line, it's paranormal and rather original. It's a mess, and acting is all over the place, but the leads are good, and it does end happy.

* I gave you links/sources when I have them, otherwise you’ll need to search grey sites. 

(source)

[robin-josephette-biden]

A Statement Through Horror: BDG and YouTube

In his video announcing his departure from Polygon Bryan David Gilbert [BDG] stated, “I want to make things that one day people will make a show like unraveled about.” [Paraphrasing here]. Since that announcement he has made some of the most interesting and engaging comedy videos on the platform. On Bryan’s channel, there is a section called “bdg’s scaries” that contains three videos. The first how to make jorts was released April 27, 2019 and will not be part of this analysis, as we are focused on the other two videos. These two videos are Earn $20K EVERY MONTH by being your own boss which was released on October 25, 2020 (two months before his final Unraveled video and departure from Polygon) and Teaching Jake about the Camcorder, Jan '97 which was posted March 3, 2021. If you have not seen these videos yet you should stop reading immediately and go watch them both (honestly everything on his channel is amazing, especially the surprisingly compelling and personal Dances Moving! series) before continuing to read this as I will be spoiling both of them. The position of YouTube celebrity has been the source of a good bit of commentary as short form online media has become more and more central in our culture. Bryan has created two videos that I feel do an excellent job of exploring the relationship between youtuber and audience. I should also point out that this is merely my interpretation of these videos and is in no way BDG’s intended message. I’ll start by going over the first video. Earn $20K EVERY MONTH by being your own boss opens with BDG outside an apartment building, standing in front of a black car. BDG points up at one of the windows and says, “Three years ago I was living in that apartment right there. Third floor, leaky windows, cockroaches, the worst.” I do not know if the real life BDG actually lived in that building, but the 3 years timeframe does line up neatly with his beginning to work at Polygon. BDG continues to bad mouth his old apartment and mentions how he has turned it all around stating, “But just last week I paid off my very first Subaru Impreza. And I own my own house in Nebraska.” This radical change in life-style he credits to, “. . . [working] from home, [making] my own hours, and [being] my own boss. And you can do it too.” I think that it is interesting that BDG’s career up to that point mirrors that of his character, going from newly graduated content creator making small videos in his apartment to one of the most popular creators on Polygon. And all that being accomplished through work that many (rightly or wrongly) would not see as fitting into the mold of the traditional 9 to 5. The idea of making millions working from home, at your own pace, and with no boss is intrinsically tied to the mystique of the YouTube celebrity. Moving into BDG’s office he explains that he makes $20k a month working on spreadsheets. A massive spreadsheet appears behind him that is dated, 01.12.88 (nothing of note happened on January 12, 1988 and the only thing that happened on December 1, 1988 is a large cyclone that struck Bangladesh, January 12, 1888 is the day of the Schoolhouse Blizzard which struck the midwestern US and killed 235 people (remember this for later)) and is filled, seemingly randomly, with garbled nonsense symbols. Many of the cells are the same as other cells and there are empty cells scattered haphazardly throughout the spreadsheet. BDG explains that he got this strategy from Dorian Smiles. In exchange for working on these spreadsheets BDG receives $10k - $20k a month (an amount that lines up pretty damn well with the amount he should be getting through his Patreon page currently, I don’t know if this was true when the video was made though) from Dorian. Wanting to know where the money is coming from BDG asks his bank and they explain that he is wiring the money to himself from another account he has. He grows confused as to the nature of this work and the disproportionately large amount of money it brings in, explicitly mentioning his confusion as to how the money is coming from someone with, “. . . my name and my voice.” and sets about to find and confront Dorian Smiles. BDG sets off for Center Nebraska, which is close to where Dorian lives (a small town in the northeast corner of Nebraska). He states that Dorian’s address hasn’t existed since 1888 (that’s a familiar year isn’t it?) when it was supposedly condemned during an enormous blizzard and is, “. . . just woods now.” The video then transitions to BDG walking through dark woods while his narration talking up the Dorian Smiles program continues becoming increasingly broken. He comes across a figure sitting in the woods that is convulsing strangely, when he calls out to it the figure turns and is him (heretofore named Dorian). Dorian slowly puts his hands over his nose and mouth while staring at BDG at which point the narration cuts out. BDG copies Dorian and when Dorian removes his hands in a flourish, BDG does the same to reveal that he no longer has a mouth. The video quickly cuts back to BDG in his office talking about the program, he asks the viewer, “Why don’t you join me?” and then sits back and smiles while that line repeats without him moving his mouth. The most pressing mystery is who Dorian Smiles is. I think the most likely answer (and one I know I am not the progenitor of) is that Dorian is a reference to The Picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde, the story of a young man that has a portrait that ages and takes on the ravages of the debauched life its subject lives while Dorian himself does not. BDG would therefore be the unwitting recipient of that blessing, reaping massive rewards while his double, Dorian, lives in poverty and solitude. I like this explanation for Dorian, but I find it to be far more mechanical than thematic. On a metatextual level you could read that Dorian represents the character of BDG. The person that is in all of BDG’s videos, and the one with whom so much of the audience forms a parasocial relationship. In this lens the parallels with BDG’s own life make more sense. By this point in BDG’s career it is not difficult to imagine him feeling stifled creatively at work (I feel comfortable saying this given how soon after this video came out that he departed Polygon). His character had grown too large, potentially becoming alien to him, no longer reflecting the art he wanted to make and so he made a video about a distorted version of himself stealing his voice. In this way the video becomes a statement on his artistic integrity and his desire to test new boundaries and go in different directions. In hindsight, with the knowledge of his departure and then success after leaving Polygon, the video becomes almost heartwarming (if it weren’t terrifying) in the same way that a before and after picture of someone improving themselves can be. We will return to the Dorian Smiles system, but now we must move to the second video, Teaching Jake about the Camcorder, Jan '97. I’ll save you the blow by blow breakdown and aim for a quick summary instead. This video is a simple stationary shot of an old CRT tv. A VHS tape is inserted and a video of a man teaching his, evidently young, son how to use a camcorder plays. It is relatively wholesome and corny in that way that all home movies are and when it ends the tape rewinds and the segment plays again, this time with a few deviations. Over replays the father becomes aware of what is happening and begins trying to reason with Jake through the camcorder begging him to stop watching the tape and move on. The father is menaced by a large shadowy figure that does not speak or move when confronted. Eventually the father resorts to simply taking the camera and recording his own screams of pain. On the final rewind the father simply says, “Attaboy.” before calmly walking out the room and into the dark hallway, a doorway opens at the other end, filled with orange light, and the father walks through and down stairs. The final shot of the video is of the television, showing the hallway, as orange light begins to flicker in the background of the left side of the TV. The sound of the father descending the stairs transitions from the TV to diegetic and a shadow appears briefly in the light. On one level the video is clearly a statement about loss and about trauma. Jake is losing himself by watching these videos on repeat, trying in vain to relive a happier time. In that desperate desire to regain what was lost he is distorting it, making it into something it isn’t, hurting it. At the beginning the father says, “Never ever press the rewind button, otherwise you might record over a precious memory. We always keep the recording going forward . . .“ I think there is an additional, and more personal for BDG, reading however. The father is the modern character of BDG, and we, the audience, are Jake. He is pleading with us to leave the past behind and move on. This was only his 3rd video that he posted after leaving Polygon. It is a plea from him to leave the old character behind and stop trying to make one into the other. To stop obsessively comparing the new videos to the old. To let the future be the future and let the past be the past. He is telling us that his new work will not be like the old, that he has progressed past that and that now his viewers need to as well. The detachment and confusion of Earn $20K EVERY MONTH by being your own boss has transformed into a desire to move forward. But he needed to ensure that his audience was ready to come with him, and so he made a video about loss and the dangers of sinking too far into it. I know that there are some of you that feel I am reading too much of what I assume to be BDG’s thoughts and emotions into these interpretations, and I am the first to admit that I might be. In no way am I trying to say these are the only interpretations of these videos or even that they are correct. I think there is so much more of an artist that they put into their work than they realise. I do not know the mind of BDG, only he does, but these videos made me feel that I had a glimpse into the feelings of a man whose work I admire. These videos are either longer or a drastically different tone to the material he has put on his own channel and as such they stood out to me. They felt different, and they seemed to ask for a different level of scrutiny. On some level maybe BDGs videos can not be divorced from the story of BDG as a content creator, the same as any modern internet semi-celebrity, or indeed any artist. I guess there was also a part of me that wanted to answer the call to action I heard when BDG left Polygon, to unravel his work. I hope in some small way I’ve been able to do that.

[princip1914]

A few thoughts on writing longfic

I’ve had this post brewing for a while and I figured since today is a Friday I might as well let it out into the wild. 

First off, this is not writing advice. I don’t feel qualified to give writing advice. This is a few observations I’ve made over the course of trying to write something that feels, well, long. Fandom is full of excellent authors writing long chaptered fic, but I don’t see a lot of people talking about how they go about producing such fics. I remember feeling like long fic was really out of reach for me when I started writing again in the summer of 2019 after not writing for years and years and I wanted to talk a bit about how that changed for me. Of course, this post comes with all the caveats that there is no need to ever write long fic if you’re not feeling it. Some of my favorite authors write mostly or only oneshots! But, if you are interested, here’s my lengthy, self indulgent, and entirely personal take on ~the longfic process~ below the cut. 

First, to get this out of the way: long fic is anything that feels long or complicated to you, the author. “I’m working on my long fic” can mean that you’re branching out from microfiction to write something that’s 2k long, or it can mean you’ve got a multi-part 800k epic. There’s no objective measure of if something is “long fic,” Your own personal definitions can also change as you grow in confidence or change your focus as a writer (a little over a year ago when I finished Doubt Thou the Stars are Fire topping out at 31k, that felt very very long to me. Now it feels….still long, but not very very long.) 

Here are a few specific things that helped me write something long. I don’t know if they will be interesting for anyone else, but at the very least writing these down has been a fun way for me to reflect on my own process. 

Practice exercises. Ok, this is going to sound exceedingly obvious, but writing one shots prepares you for writing chaptered fic. Here’s what I mean more specifically: if you know you want to write (as a totally hypothetical example) a chaptered fic set in America in the summer that relies heavily on a nature metaphors, is written out of chronological order, and features a melancholy tone--it helps to write a few one shots like that before you embark on the Big Fic. Just like artists tend to do sketches before starting a big piece, it’s very helpful to write something small that gives you a feel for the ~vibe~ of what you’re trying to do in the long fic. It’s helpful for all the usual reasons--you get to know a specific version of the characters which helps plan out a character driven plot for the long fic--but it’s also helpful because you will learn if the tone and mood of the fic has enough staying power to capture your interest for the long haul. For instance, I have a few unfinished chaptered fics that have a humorous tone. I wish I had done more short humorous fics before starting them, because I would have realized that I don’t currently have the mental stamina to hold up a humorous tone for the length of a chaptered fic (hopefully that will change and I will finish Last Days some time this century!). 

Plan it out ahead of time. I used google sheets for The False and the Fair. I do not think God intended google sheets to be used for fiction, but that was not going to stop me. On a more serious note, I think the best tool for planning fiction is the one you’re the most comfortable with--the notes app in your phone, handwriting, word, google drive, sheets, chalk board, summoning circle, the blood of your enemies, etc. The reason I chose to use sheets is that I knew from the very beginning that I wanted certain things to happen at specific places in the story--for instance, I wanted the first kiss to happen at the end of the first third of the story and I wanted the “reveal” about the mine accident to happen at the end of the second third of the story. But, I didn’t know what was supposed to go in between those elements. A traditional outline for a story at this point in development might have looked like: 

Meet cute

Kiss

Reveal 

Ending 

But, what my brain needed was to preserve the blank spaces in between these story elements, and specifically to preserve the right amount of blank space between these story elements so that it didn’t end up, for instance, that the first kiss was halfway through rather than a third of the way through. In this way, I found google sheets an invaluable tool for pacing in the early parts of the planning process. I simply made 30 rows assuming 30 chapters, and started plugging in the elements I knew I wanted in the locations I wanted them. Then I filled in the blank spaces by asking myself “how do we get from X plot element to Y plot element in Z amount of chapters.” I’m not a mountain climber, but I’ve often thought about the first things that go into the spreadsheet in terms of mountain climbing terminology.  In climbing, a crux move, which can be anywhere along the route, is the most difficult move of the route: if you can’t do it, you can’t do the route. I think of the first things that go into the planning spreadsheet as the crux moves of the story, the most important pieces around which everything else turns. It was not an accident that those were also all the first scenes of the fic that I wrote; if I couldn’t do those scenes, I couldn’t do the story the way I planned it so I wanted to know early on if I needed to make changes.

Make changes if you have to: even though it helps to have things planned in advance, don’t resist the story if it tries to change on you while you’re writing it. Usually the feeling that you have to make changes stems from having a plot that is not entirely character driven. As you write the story, the characters reveal themselves and sometimes the plot has to change to change with the characters’ motivations. Here’s an area where fanfic writers have a leg up on everyone else: if you write fic, you already know the characters really well. That means, (in my experience anyway) it’s less likely that you’ll have a surprise character development which leads to a rethinking of the whole plot. Less likely, but not completely unlikely, unfortunately.

Lie to yourself: The False and the Fair was supposed to be 90k words. I thought that sounded reasonable, a little less than 3x the longest fic I had ever written. Now it's 161k and will probably top out a little over 170k. Ooops. But I never would have set out to write something that long. I wouldn’t have thought I could do it, even though anyone more experienced looking at my plans for the fic probably would have laughed at the idea I could cover all those plot points in 90k. Ignorance is bliss. Protect your ignorance.

Scrivener: Long fic for me means “fic that is long enough you can’t hold all the parts of it in your head at once.” That’s where Scrivener comes in (or another app if you’d rather, but I really like Scrivener for the ability to see the project either linearly or as condensed notecards). You can put together an organizational scaffold in Scrivener that allows you to move back and forth between the forest and the trees. So, for instance, you might be going for a jog and come up with the perfect line of dialogue for chapter 27 when you’re only up to chapter 5 in terms of writing progress. With Scrivener, you can go home, and put that dialogue in the “bucket”/index card/whatever for chapter 27 without compromising your ability to see chapter 5 clearly or muddying up your google doc. You can then use the fact that you’ve started writing bits and pieces of the later chapters in conjunction with the tool of lying to yourself that, actually, you’ve written a lot more of the fic than you realize and that when you get to chapter 27 it won’t be as hard as chapter 5 because you’ve put in the groundwork already. In my experience, this lie turns out to be true about 50% of the time, which is better than 0% of the time.

Digestible mini arcs: The False and the Fair was originally broken up into thirds. I thought it would be 90k and 30k was the longest I had written, so thirds seemed to make sense. Also, 3 is a nice, time honored storytelling number. I think it’s good to give yourself seemingly achievable milestones along the way to completion. These milestones (for me anyway) lined up well with the “crux moments” I’ve described. If you’re someone who likes to write out of order, writing your way to an already written milestone can feel like sailing to an island where you get to rest for a bit from the stormy seas before setting out for the next island in the archipelago.

“It's all part of the process”: I’m categorically incapable of describing things without resorting to running metaphors, and so I apologize in advance, but I am now going to do the insufferable thing of comparing writing a long fic to running a marathon. Here’s the thing with a marathon. You are not going to feel good every step of the way. We all know this. It’s a marathon, it’s supposed to hurt a little bit, especially at the end. In the same way you literally cannot write something novel length or even novella or long short story length without, at least at some point, feeling bad about yourself and your writing. But you also can’t run a marathon if the whole thing is agony, and for most people, it’s not--your meat sack shuffling along the course is subjected to the slings and arrows of all sorts of weird body chemistry that only happens when you push it to its limits. So, you’ll be in agony and then the endorphins will kick in for a while and you’ll be thinking “this isn’t nearly as bad as everyone said,” and then you’ll drink some water at a rest stop and feel like a God for half a mile before you crash and you’re in agony again until that one perfect song comes up on the playlist...and you get the idea. Writing something long, for me at least, is a bit like that. There are massive ups and downs. The key for me is to just understand it’s all part of the process, a necessary step on the way to the finish line. If the fic is 10 chapters long, at some point you have to write chapter 5. Just like you have to write chapter 5, at some point you also have to go through a bit of despair before reaching the end. It is unfortunately non-optional. In fact, despairing is something you can check off your list each time you’ve done it. Cut dialogue tags, check. Feel awful about my writing for thirty minutes, check. Write ending section, check. Often I feel that the stress and shame and fear that come with bad emotions while writing are worse than the bad emotions themselves. It really helps me to remember these emotions are all part of the process and nothing to worry about. If I didn’t have them, then I would worry! 

I certainly have plenty more to say about writing, but this ramble has gone on long enough. If you’re interested in any of this stuff, please feel free to send me an ask. 

I would also love to know more about everyone else’s writing processes, so feel free to pop into my ask box to talk about your own approach too! I am very interested in this stuff! 

[dragonsorceress22]

Wait, this isn’t a Blackout teaser...

And there’s a very good reason for that.

The reason being... I ran out of Blackout to tease.

So here’s the sitch. The next chapter (The Final Proposal) is only about halfway done. It’s been a tough one for me - a lot of research and begging people for help and me getting stuck.

Clearly my goal of becoming a super productive human via this this new “writing strategy” of posting a weekly teaser has failed utterly.

So what now?

Well, I’m trying out a new strategy.

I’d noticed one weekend that I was being particularly productive. Not in writing, just in general - gettin’ shit done. And I thought, “Okay. What was different about today. How’d I do that? And how can I recreate it?”

The answer was that I’d had a LOT I’d wanted to get done, so I’d very naturally resorted to making a list, just so I wouldn’t forget anything.

But that meant I had a ✨list✨ which is apparently a thing that makes my brain happy. By breaking things into little pieces - just little steps I can take rather than a massive scary slog of THINGS THAT NEED DOING in my head, it’s so much easier to tackle. I don’t have to Do All the Things, I just have to pick one thing off the list and not think about ANYTHING else until that’s done, because the list got my back.

And this may seem like such an obvious thing, but I just didn’t realize until that moment what a difference it makes for me.

So then I thought, “Okay, how can I use this? How can I turn the powers of the List into fanfic power?”

The answer (because I am me) was a spreadsheet.

I opened up every single one of my WIPs (there are 44 of them developed enough to be included. which is a lot.) and broke them down into elements. For each WIP, I assigned tasks and task types.

Now I have a list. And when I have time to sit down with my computer, I’m not staring at the daunting MASS of folders upon folders of fics and notes files and MESS, which my brain tends to reject. I do NOT like clutter.

So instead, I can open my list

I can say, “I’m in research mode tonight”

and filter by task type “research”.

Maybe I’m in outline mode

Or writing mode

Maybe all I wanna do is rewatch that scene I need to rewatch in order to do the next part of one fic or another

I CAN DO THAT NOW

And I hope to hell and back that it helps cause I don’t know what else to try.

Anyway, with any luck, I’ll have more updates for tumblr in the near future. Or even updates for AO3! (My optimism is a cockroach - undying and ugly.)

Really, I just wanted y’all to know I’m trying so hard to figure this all out, and I wanted to share this in case anyone with the same troubles finds it helpful.

💕