#i do feel like they’re setting up roy HAVING to open up to the diamond dogs

[justsomeguycore]

idk how the fandom will cope if jamie and keeley get back together and that’s it. like roy has to just be like. ok

[jasmariswonderland]

“Today’s a special day! Wanna know why? It’s my birthday, i.e. my day to sparkle and shine as king for a day! And I expect you to pay homage!”

💎✨ Happy (slightly) belated birthday to my shining Roi du Diamants ✨💎

Today’s a special day so let’s set the mood with one of my fav songs from his character playlist!

Yesterday was the actual day of his birthday but unfortunately work kept me hella busy this past weekend. There’s also another reason, I was looking at my fb memories and today marks one year since I officially got into Twisted Wonderland! So we’re celebrating today! 

Maxim (his preferred name) is one oc I feel like I often neglect, mostly because I have so many twst ocs (I never expected to have so many!) and he his creation origins are...kinda complicated. I’ll go more into that today. As always, asks/interactions with the birthday boy are always open! 💙

Birthday lines under the cut! 

~ Birthday Boy Voice Lines ~

When Summoned: “All of this for me, this is gonna be so much fun!” 

Summon: “It’s not every day I’m the guest of honor! I’m gonna enjoy every minute of this!”

Groovy: “I love parties and this one was especially lit with all of you here!”

Set Home: “Looking fabulous and ready to shine!” 

Home Idle: “The terrarium Jade gave me so sooooo gorgeous, I think he used the stones I gave him so that makes it all the more awesome.”

Home Idle 2: “What do I want for my birthday? Hehe, I don’t think it could be pulled off but a private diamond mine would be beyond wonderful!” 

Home Idle 3: “The shoes Floyd gave me match the kind I gave him for his birthday, except his are blue and mine are green. Twinsies!”  Home Login: “Usually our dorm leader is hella strict making sure we behave. But it’s my birthday so I can let loose just a little, right?”

Home Idle Groovy: “When I was younger my little bro and I would spend my birthday at a local amusement park going on every roller coaster we could. I’d love to do that again soon.”

Home Tap 1: “Azul offered to grant me one favor today since it’s my birthday, hmmm, he did seem pretty genuine. Should I take him up on that?”

Home Tap 2: “My parents sent me a bunch of new pieces from our flagship store in Pyroxene. Gonna flex them in front of Iman later!” 

Home Tap 3: “Farron gave me a very nice set of cufflinks, they’re gold and studded with my birthstone. He knows my tastes well!”

Home Tap 4: “No matter how long they age, diamonds remain radiant and beautiful, exactly how I want to be!” 

Home Tap 5: “Look, I know it’s my birthday, but no need to be so handsy! Go try some of the cake or something. It’s pretty awesome.” 

Home Tap Groovy: “Jade gave me an extra present besides the terrarium! He told me not to open it right away but...ughhh the suspense is killing me! 

DUO MAGIC: Maximilian: I’m looking forward to your gift, Malleus! Malleus: Thank you for inviting me, Maximilian, happy birthday! 

[rhetoricalrogue]

ocs as a song from your 2020 spotify top songs

Tagged by @ejunkiet and @alittlestarling, thank you both! Leaving this as an open tag, so feel free to tag me back so I can see your replies!

Rebel Yell (acoustic live on KROQ) - Billy Idol

I live in my own heaven

Collects it to go from the seven eleven

Well, I’m out all night to collect a fare

Just as long, just as long it don't fuck up my hair

Zoe Dawson’s (TWC) go-to song to play at the Rusty Bucket bar. As a kid she practiced this song on her dad’s guitar until her fingers bled, but it’s one of the songs she can play perfectly. She and Harry will add this to their sets when they want to impress the crowd.

What’s Up? - 4 Non Blondes

Twenty-five years and my life is still

Trying to get up that great big hill of hope

For a destination

Miranda Gamez (@anya-dev’s Scout: an Apocalypse Story) will absently hum while on missions, much to Oliver’s (apparent) irritation. He doesn’t mind, but he knows she’s more than likely tease him even more if she knew that he liked listening to her sing. Ezra joins in for the oh my god do I try part.

Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond

Hands, touching hands

Reaching out, touching me, touching you

Sweet Caroline

Good times never seemed so good

I've been inclined

To believe they never would

Penelope Wiseman (@mindblindbard’s Mind Blind) and Nick’s “making midnight macadamia nut cookies” baking song. Neither of them knows who started it, but one or the other will start singing while mixing cookie dough up and then by the time they’re portioning out onto cookie sheets, they’re both doing the “BAH BUM BUM good times never seemed so good (so good! so good! so good!)” chorus.

You Got It - Roy Orbison

One look from you I drift away

I pray that you are here to stay

Anything you want, you got it

Anything you need, you got it

Anything at all, you got it, baby

Because this is a music meme and I can’t not include my favorite boy Rolfe Trevelyan (Dragon Age) in this. I have so many feelings about his lifelong search for acceptance and love while trying to work through his personal feelings on the subject. He acts like an aloof flirt, but buddy. He just wants someone to hold his hand without having to jump through hoops first.

Bonus:

A Town with an Ocean View - Joe Hisaishi

I just see my little witch-in-training BB Starling skipping along and chattering to birds and frogs she finds in the wooded backyard of the cottage she and her mama live in and being an adorable, carefree kid.

[edxwin-elric]

Club Immortality

Rating: T

Pairing: Havolina/Jean Havoc x Rebecca Catalina

Disclaimer: I don’t own Fullmetal Alchemist.

Word Count: 2696

Title: Club Immortality

Description: Havolina One Shot – modern au

Rebecca and Riza are having a girl’s night at Central’s hottest club, Club Immortality, to celebrate Rebecca’s new job. Things get interesting when Rebecca’s phone goes missing and she enlists one of the bouncers to help her find it.

A/N: A very old request by both @random-rave and @royaigarbage. #13 - “I could kiss you right now!” from these prompts.

ffn || ao3

Rebecca

I take another sip of my drink and throw my head back, my hips swaying in time with the deep bass. The music is loud, the alcohol is strong, and the lighting is low—exactly perfect conditions for a night out. There are bodies everywhere because the club is packed, but I don’t care. I’m here to drink and to dance.

I steal a look to the edge of the room where Riza is still sitting at the bar. She’s supposed to be celebrating with me, but she’s still on her first drink. I wave to her, but she shakes her head. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that she’s over this scene since she spends so much time here, considering her boyfriend is the owner, but I can’t let that stop me from having some fun.

The song changes, and a smoke machine releases thick clouds from the ceiling, obstructing my view of her. Turning to the crowd, I lose myself in the moment, my body moving on its own. I make eye contact with a criminally attractive hot guy a few feet away and he moves closer, his large body crowding mine as the loud beat vibrates through us. I feel a trickle of sweat drip down my temple, and I reach up to lift my hair off my neck.

The guy’s hand finds my hip, holding me closer. I bite my lip and look to the ceiling. His head leans down until his nose brushes my exposed ear. I gasp, shutting my eyes as his tongue runs along the column of my neck.

“You taste like sex,” he rumbles into my ear. “I want it.”

I shake my head and playfully shove him, turning my back. His hand moves with me, sliding around to my pelvis, moving up my ribs. I lean my head back onto his shoulder and sway with him, my fingers running up his neck.

“Wanna get out of here?” he asks loudly to be heard over the music.

“Not yet,” I answer somewhat truthfully.

I don’t plan on leaving with him at all. I’m here with Riza, after all. Right now, I’m just having a little fun.

“If you say so.”

His hands go to my hips, pulling me back against him. I gasp at the feel of his boner against my ass. I frown and roll my eyes before reaching behind me and sliding my hand down between us. He grunts as I palm him over his pants, using the distraction to turn to face him again. With my hand still on his crotch, I lean up and shout in his ear.

“I’ll let you know when I want this, got it?”

He grins devilishly, and I suppress another eye roll, his hands sliding around my back. I let him fist my hair as I trail my fingers up and down his chest. After another song, I use my empty drink as an excuse to leave the floor. When I make it back to Riza, I feel sticky and out of breath.

“You okay?”

“Just a little overheated,” I gasp with a smile, fanning myself with my hand as I slide onto the stool beside her.

And a little aroused. I knew I wasn’t taking Hot Guy home tonight, but that doesn’t mean what he was doing to me wasn’t effective as hell at making me wet.

“You looked like you were about to be arrested for public indecency,” Riza chimes in.

“This is a private club,” I remind her. “As the owner’s girlfriend you should know that.”

“That doesn’t make it a sex club,” she points out, sipping her drink. “And I really don’t love the idea of having to explain to Roy why my best friend got thrown out for having anonymous sex on the dance floor.”

“Calm your tits, Riza. Sex with that guy was never on the table.”

“He didn’t seem to know that.”

“Yeah, well…he didn’t need to.” I shrug.

“Hey, what time is it?” she asks suddenly. “We can’t stay out too late. I need to check on Hayate, and you have work in the morning.”

“Oh, let me check.”

It wouldn’t do for me to finally get the P.A. position I wanted only for me to fuck up and lose it by being late on my first day. Sliding the hem of my dress up my thigh, I reach for my phone in the lace holster I’m wearing except…

“Hey, have you seen my phone?” I turn back to Riza and scan the floor around where we’re standing.

“What?” she frowns. “I thought you had it.”

“So, did I.” I show her my empty thigh band, and she blinks.

“Where did you have it last?”

I reach up and lift my hair off my neck with both hands, still scanning the ground. “I don’t know. Out there I guess.”

I look out into the sea of grinding, rolling, sweating bodies as the music swells around us. This isn’t good.

“Do you think he took it?”

“What?” I frown.

“That guy, the one you were all over. Do you think he could’ve taken your phone?”

I blink and suddenly remember his fingers trailing up my thigh while his teeth nipped at my ear. I wasn’t even thinking about my phone, but now…

“I think so, maybe.” I nod. “I’m not sure, but how do we find him anyway?”

There’s no way I’ll be able to track him down inside that throng.

“We could try calling it?” she suggests, handing me her phone.

I start to pick my name off of her favorites when I stop.

“He took it on purpose. Why would he answer it now?”

“Maybe he’s trying to get your attention?”

I roll my eyes and call my phone. If he is trying to get my attention, this is a stupid way to do it.

“Straight to voicemail,” I mutter darkly, handing the phone back to her. “Shit.”

“Okay, come with me. I have an idea.”

I don’t bother asking what it is, because anything she can think of is better than the pile of nothing I have to offer.

God. I would get my phone stolen by a hot guy the night before I start my new job, but, in my defense, I didn’t think “criminally attractive” meant he was actually a criminal!

Riza leads us to the far side of the dance floor where private booths are set up on a roped-off platform for priority guests. There are bouncers standing by to make sure only guests with VIP access gain entry. Of course, her boyfriend. Why didn’t I think of that? Though I’m not sure what he’s going to do, exactly.

“Which booth is he in?” I ask her as we get closer.

“What?” She frowns at me.

“Your boyfriend. Which one?”

“Oh, no,” she stops near one of the entrances. “Roy isn’t here. He didn’t want to steal your thunder tonight, so he’s working from home.”

“What?” I blink at her, momentarily distracted from the panic of having my phone stolen. “What does ‘working from home’ even look like for a rich night club owner?”

“Drinking whiskey and watching HBO, I assume,” she mutters. “I’ll find out after we get your phone back.”

“Right.” I nod. “So…what are we doing over here then?”

“Havoc,” she says loudly to the bouncer beside her. “This is my friend, Rebecca.” She signals toward me, and I step closer.

Holy shit. Bouncer Guy is HOT. Like, I wasn’t really paying attention before because, well, phone stolen by a literally criminally hot guy, but whoa. Not only does he have hair exactly my preferred shade of golden blonde and a jaw line that could cut diamonds, but he is ripped. Like, his entire torso—chest, shoulders, arms—is positively Herculean, and his black shirt does nothing to hide it, which is probably good since he’s supposed to be muscle here.

“Um, hi,” I semi-shout over the pounding bass when I realize they’re both staring at me, waiting for me to say something. “Havoc,” I add, shifting my weight.

“Jean.” He grins, and I let out a tiny gasp when I feel a spasm between my legs. “What can I do for you ladies?”

A thousand dirty responses flash through my mind at his question. Luckily, I don’t say any of them.

“An asshole stole my phone,” I tell him loudly.

His eyebrows rise and he turns to look at Riza, crossing his arms.

“What happened?”

“She was dancing.” Riza throws a hand out toward the pulsating crush of people. “He came up to her; they danced together, and at some point, he snatched her phone.”

He looks back over at me, his eyes traveling up…and then back down. Another spasm. Damn his stupidly blue eyes. They can see straight through me.

“Where?” he asks suddenly, still looking me over.

I blink.

“What?”

“Where was your phone?”

I feel my cheeks go slightly pink, but I try to ignore it.

“Here.” I thrust out my leg and slide the fabric of my dress up, revealing in the empty holster.

“Aha…” he says slowly, meeting my eyes. “And you didn’t notice it?”

“We were kind of…physical while we were dancing,” I explain as I stand and adjust my hem. “Anyway, can you help me?”

“Maybe. Follow me.”

Jean leads us away from the noise to an almost invisible door on the back wall. It leads to a hallway, which has other doors, one of which leads to a security office of some kind. Jean ducks inside and pulls out a chair in front of a computer screen and waves for me to sit down.

“Look through this footage and tell me when you see your guy.”

Leaning over me from behind, he pulls up the cameras from the front door and starts replaying it from the beginning of the night.

“I’m gonna call Roy really quick,” Riza says suddenly. “I’ll be back.”

She slips out the door, and Jean leans down more, his arm brushing my cheek as he shifts the mouse.

“Anything yet?”

“No, not—wait! That’s him! That’s the hot guy!”

I point to the dark man on the screen.

“Really?” he asks with more than a hint of surprise. “You’re sure?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

“So that’s your type then?” he mutters, with an annoying amount of judgement. “Circle sunglasses and a fur-lined vest?”

“What? No!” I crane my neck to glare at him. “Shut up. Who asked you anyway?”

He laughs softly, and I feel like growling. It’s not like he was wearing the glasses and vest when we were dancing. If we were, I clearly wouldn’t have been into it. Ugh.

“Move over, sweetheart.”

I open my mouth to tell him not to call me “sweetheart” when he shoves my rolling chair aside and starts doing things to the computer. When he stands up, he grabs my hand and pulls me to my feet.

“I sent his face out to all of our guys. If anyone sees him, they’ll hold him, so if he hasn’t already left the building, we can probably get your phone back.”

“Really?” I whisper. “You can?”

“Sure.” His pocket vibrates, and I watch him slide out a slim black phone. “Looks like we caught him already. Let’s go.”

Taking my hand again, he leads us back to the main room and around to the bar.

Where Not-So-Hot Guy is sitting, waiting for a drink.

“Excuse me, are you–”

“Give me my phone, jerk,” I interrupt from behind Jean.

“I’m sorry,” Not-So-Hot Guy grins slowly. “What was that?”

“Mr. Rice?” Jean asks, moving in front of me. “It seems this young lady lost her phone earlier. She seems to think you might have located it.”

The guy pretends to think and gives his head a small shake before raising a finger to his lips.

“Hmm. I don’t remember finding a phone. Sorry, but I don’t think I can help you.”

“I know you have it,” I hiss.

“Just hand over the phone, and I won’t have the owner eighty-six you for life,” Riza moves up beside Havoc and crosses her arms.

Not-So-Hot Guy whistles low as he appraises her.

“I’m not really sure you’re in a position to make such a threat, but damn you look fine doing it.”

“As his girlfriend, I think I’m in a pretty good position.”

“Oh, you’re Mustang’s girl?” his eyes glint. “Care to share what other positions he puts you in?”

Riza tenses, and Jean steps forward.

“I think that’s enough. Before I escort you out, I’m going to have to search you.”

“Search me?” Jerkface stands up, a sneer twisting his features. “I don’t think that’s legal.”

“Legal or not it’s policy to prevent guests from being robbed, so unless you care to produce that phone now, I–”

“Just hand it over, creep.” I step out from behind Jean and glare at the guy. “Why do you want it so badly anyway?”

“Oh, did you say a phone?” he feigns realization. “I found one of those earlier. Actually, I was just about to give it to this nice bartender here.”

His eyes are seething behind his false smile as he pulls my phone out of his pocket. I snatch it, and move away from him, checking to make sure it’s all right.

“See, that wasn’t so hard,” Jean smirks at him. “But since you insulted Ms. Hawkeye, I’m afraid I’m going to have to have Breda escort you out.”

“What? That’s bullshit! I gave her damn phone back–”

The stout bartender comes around and grabs the guy by the scruff of his collar and starts dragging him to the door. When he’s gone, Riza’s phone rings. She walks away to answer it, leaving me alone with Jean.

“Is everything there?” he asks over my shoulder.

“What? Oh, yes.” I hold up my phone. “God. I have no idea what I would do without this thing. Seriously, I could kiss you right now!”

He blinks, and I feel heat rush into my face.

“Not that I—I didn’t mean–”

“Hey, if you’re offering,” he interrupts, lowering his head to mine, “I’m not going to stop you.”

I stare at him, unable to formulate a response to that.

“I’ll take that as a ‘no,’ for now,” he grins slowly.

“What?” I whisper.

His grin spreads wider, and I reach up to put a hand on my chest where my heart is tripping wildly.

“Here’s my number,” he goes on, pulling a business card out of his pocket. “Feel free to call me anytime.” He pauses and meets my eyes before finishing, “Becca.”

“Okay, yeah.” I swallow and nod. “I will.”

“I’ll be looking forward to it.”

He walks away before I can say anything else, and I’m startled by Riza touching my shoulder. How long was I staring after him? It feels like I forgot how to breathe.

“Ready to go?”

“I think so.” I tuck my phone and the business card back into my thigh holster.

She looks past me, and then studies my face.

“You and Jean seemed to be flirting pretty heavily.”

“What? No,” I lie lamely. “That was–”

“You’re right,” she breaks in. “It was more of light seduction than flirting.”

I blink at her, but she grins, and pulls me toward the door.

“Come on. You have work tomorrow, and Hayate is waiting for me. Plus, I know you’re dying to get home so you can text Jean something naughty.”

I start to tell her I wasn’t going to do that, but the look she’s giving me says not to bother. She knows me too well, and yes. Maybe I was considering texting Jean, but he gave me his number, so he probably won’t mind.

When we reach the entrance, I look back and scan for him. I spot him for a split second, and I could swear he winked with that stupidly sexy grin on his face.

Yeah. I’m definitely going to text him when I get home. Luckily, he got me my phone back, so I can.

[siribear]

alice recognizes that voice. the one from the holotape, the one that pleaded with the people of the commonwealth to join the railroad. and here she is, standing in front of her, red, short cropped hair, tapping out a cigarette at her feet. next to her, another woman, dark skin contrasting snow white hair shaved on one side, the minigun held easily in her hands. a third, a man, stands with his pistol pointed at her head.

‘my name is alice,’ she says, slowly lowering her arms. the two armed railroad agents ready their weapons again, but alice tucks her pistol back in its holster. ‘you’re the one from the holotape, aren’t you?’

the woman taps her cigarette again. ‘i am. my name is desdemona. i’m the leader of the railroad. how did you find us?’

‘i followed the freedom trail across boston.’

‘and why?’

alice sighs. ‘i’m tracking down a mercenary named kellogg. if he’s working for the institute, word on the street is you could help me.’

desdemona’s face pales, but otherwise shows no emotion. ‘we’re in the business of rescuing synths. the railroad doesn’t have the agents to seek out kellogg.’

‘you’re telling me you don’t have any information at all?’

another man steps out from an alcove behind the others. plain clothes, white shirt and blue jeans, a pair of sunglasses.

‘what do you want with kellogg - deacon,’ desdemona says when the man reaches her shoulder. ‘where have you been? i need intel - who is this woman, really?’

their eyes meet across the room. alice grins and rolls her eyes.

‘that, des, is the leader of the minutemen,’ he says, hands on his hips. ‘and she’s the one that rescued nick valentine from skinny malone’s gang. she’s practically famous.’

‘i’m flattered. you’re the one that’s been following me, then?’

he laughs. ‘i have no idea what you’re talking about. all we gotta do is go topside to get reception around here. you’re all travis talks about on the radio.’

‘uh-huh.’

‘so,’ desdemona cuts in with a frown. ‘you’re vouching for her, then?’

‘absolutely. we need someone like her on our side, des.’

she waves her hand, and finally the two lower their weapons. ‘fine, then. i’ll ask you one more question, the only one that matters. would you risk your life for your fellow man? even if that man was a synth?’

alice runs a hand through her hair, ignoring how greasy it feels on her fingers. ‘doesn’t matter to me if someone’s a synth or not, as long as they don’t shoot at me first.’

‘a fair answer. unfortunately, we still don’t have the agents to train you, but there are a few odd jobs you can help us with. deacon will give you more information.’

desdemona leaves them, disappearing into the alcove deacon came from. the woman with the minigun hops down a step, stepping close to alice with a grin. ‘welcome aboard, tourist,’ she says, footsteps echoing through the catacombs where alice came from.

‘i got this, drums,’ deacon says to the other man.

‘good,’ he says with a sigh. ‘this place gives me the creeps.’

leaving just her and deacon.

‘so,’ alice starts, arms crossed. ‘you have been following me.’

‘still no idea what you’re talking about, pal.’

‘then i must have met your twin in diamond city.’ she holds out one finger. ‘he’s doing well, by the way, working for security. and,’ she holds up a second finger, ‘your triplet in goodneighbor.’

‘guess i really should check in on them more. anyway,’ he leans back against the brick catacomb wall. ‘des wants to make you a tourist.’ he clicks his tongue. ‘what a waste.’

‘look, i’m - really just looking for information about kellogg. i wasn’t expecting to actually join the railroad.’

for the first time, she sees deacon frown. ‘i’m gonna be honest with you: the railroad needs you. we might have just survived a crisis and it’s left us a teeny,’ he holds his thumb and forefinger lightly apart, ‘bit desperate.’

‘well, when you put it that way, i really feel important. why me?’

‘okay. i might have a list of people i think would be a perfect fit for our little... family. maybe you made the list. if you hadn’t found us, i would have found you.’

‘again?’

‘again,’ he repeats with a grin. ‘thanks for saving me the trip.’

‘and is my being the general of the minutemen going to present a problem?’

‘i hope not,’ he says with a low growl. ‘but, nah, if anything we can use that kind of connection. the railroad and the minutemen run in the same circles, pal. as long as you keep them from turning into the brotherhood of bigots.’

she laughs. ‘no, i don’t think so. all right then, i’m in. desdemona said something about a job?’

deacon rocks back and forth on his feet, grin firmly back in place. ‘perfecto. so, the job’s too much for me, but perfect for the two of us. meet me under the highway outside lexington. i’ll explain once we get there.’

‘we’re not leaving together?’

‘can’t risk burning this safe house so soon. i’ll be right behind you.’

she waves, the other woman returning just as alice is leaving. ‘see you there.’

-

the walk back to lexington is long and boring, and only once she’s out of the streets of boston does she turn on the radio. it’s been a few days since she’s tuned in, much less actually paid attention to the dj.

‘you’re listening to, uh, diamond city radio. if... you’re listening at all, i mean.’

oh.

‘so, the, uh, the-the brotherhood of steel, right? they were, uh... spotted up at that police station. guess they ran into some trouble because someone heard some gun fire. laser fire? they don’t use regular guns, do they...?’

it’s a wonder anyone gets any news out of the radio station. poor guy.

‘anyway! seems like someone helped them out. not-not out of the police station, they’re still there, but there’s definitely less gun-laser fire. okay. and they had some business at the arc-jet building... so whatever they were looking for hopefully they got what they needed. and maybe they’ll just... leave. not that, uh!’ the dj clears his throat. ‘not that i don’t like the brotherhood or anything, but... um, yeah. anyway. music? i’ll play some music.’

he must be broadcasting live, this time of day, because there’s the sound of rustling near the microphone. ‘or, uh, i can’t - find any - music right now because my hands don’t work? uh. so - i guess, uh, the person that helped the brotherhood, i guess, is also the one that saved nick valentine? or so... i hear. and she’s leading the minutemen up in sanctuary! because... because there’s a new settlement that-that got established... up... there. i-mentioned-that-last-week-oh-god,’ he says in a breathless rush. ‘music! here’s some, uh... butcher pete! oh. great. anyway, butcher pete.’

alice turns a dial, silencing the radio before roy brown can begin singing. she sighs. maybe there’s just not that much news going on in the commonwealth. or it’s all being censored, if it’s coming out of diamond city. kid seems too nervous to go stirring up trouble like piper does.

by the time she reaches the meeting spot, her pipboy reads mid-afternoon. she walks up to the silhouette of a man waiting by a fallen stretch of highway.

‘deacon?’

he looks different with a hat on, and his clothing choice for this outing is a set of farmhand clothes: an open coat over a long sleeve shirt tucked into faded jeans. he even has the heavy pair of gardening gloves on.

in response, he hunches over a nearby pile of rubble. ‘this is my pile of garbage, asshole. back off.’ then he straightens, laughing. ‘like it? this is my wasteland camo.’

‘effective, i suppose. not a very good disguise, from where i’m standing.’

deacon shrugs. ‘not everyone in the commonwealth pays that much attention. you’d be surprised at how many places i’ve gotten into with the right attitude and a clipboard.’

‘ah, see, you should definitely try a pencil skirt.’ she smiles, flipping her hair over her shoulder. ‘gets you in every time.’

‘maybe next time. i think with the right face change i could pull that off.’ he begins leading her up the fallen highway. ‘so, here’s the first lesson: railsigns.’

the railsigns are simple symbols in the middle of lines extending outward in a circle. far enough out of the way to not be noticeable; obvious enough to those who’re looking. arrows, for directions, she learns, though on this straight stretch of highway, there’s little doubt of where to go. a plus sign, for ally, bids them closer to the edge. and all the while a steady stream of ferals, dead and alive.

‘hey,’ deacon stops her with a hand on her shoulder. at the end of the road is their tourist, back turned toward them, overlooking the slocum’s joe. ‘no matter what he says, you answer mine is in the shop. got it?’

‘that’s your countersign?’ she shrugs. ‘okay, got it. let’s go.’

it’s him that follows her toward the man, who whirls on her, gruff voice demanding, 'do you have a geiger counter? do you have a goddamn geiger counter?’

‘mine is in the shop,’ she replies dutifully. in the corner of her eye, she sees the corner of deacon’s lips twitch upward.

deacon lies to him afterward, pitching to ricky that he’s the new agent and she’s training him. ricky throws back that they should have sent more agents. so she questions him, easing him out of the rising volume in his voice until he simply sounds... tired. scared. on the level. but she doesn’t ask him to get involved any further. as she watches ricky leave his post, it’s only then that she notices deacon has left her side.

‘so, what do you think?’ deacon asks when ricky’s out of ear shot.

‘i don’t think he’s lying, for one,’ she says, holding up a finger. when she holds up a second, ‘for two, i think going through the front door is out of the question.’

‘both excellent observations.’ there’s a hint of pride in his voice that surprises her. ‘always trust your gut instincts when it comes to people.’ they walk side by side back down the highway. ‘as for the second, we can take the escape tunnel. it’s how we got out of there the first time.’

‘there’s an escape tunnel? for a slocum’s joe?’

‘yeah, thank god for that escape tunnel,’ he says, voice going rough at the end. ‘you’ll see what i mean. just down here.’

true to his word the escape tunnel lies just outside lexington, hidden behind a curtain of vines and moss. pistol drawn, she enters the escape tunnel with deacon, strangely quiet, behind her.

[m00nslippers]

The past is coming back to wreck Jason’s new life, in RHATO Issue #33

We knew Essence and the All-caste were coming back, from the solicitations/previews, but I don’t think anyone saw the second blonde love interest’s appearance coming. We probably should have though, since this whole comic is just throwing out everything people liked about Rebirth RHATO (Biz and Artemis) and bringing in everything from the New 52 run except what people liked about it, (namely Roy and Starfire being Jason’s besties). So...I don’t know, we’ll jump into this.

It opens on Essence, in the Thousand acres of All, going to see Ducra, or maybe her ghost. She’s supposed to be dead, I thought, but these All-Caste people seem to be able to communicate/exist as spirits. Actually I thought they’d pretty much been wiped out? I am really fuzzy on the All-caste stuff I need to go back and reread New 52 RHATO to refresh my memory, it’s just hard when the art is so consistently BAD after the first artist leaves that I can’t really stand it.

Essence implies that Jason is some ‘great darkness’ and it was a mistake to teach him. Which people have been saying about Jason since Stalin wrote him with the whole ‘bad seed’ thing so, sure, okay. Jason having the potential to be some kind of ultimate evil is actually cool in the sense that it acknowledges Jason is badass and competent enough to be a threat to heroes, which I like, but the idea that Jason would ever be evil is head-shaking to me. But Essence honestly didn’t say much about what’s going on but that Jason is the problem, so there’s no point getting mad about it yet, we’ll see how that develops.

We go back to the Iceburg lounge with Jason talking to Cobblepot through the fish tank wall, the usual “you won’t get away with this!” and “Oh but I already have!” and blah blah blah. It’s revealed the wall can go opaque and show a scenery to disguise the room behind it or it can be clear so Jason can see in, and there’s a little remote that controls it, and I’m already anticipating Suzie or Miguel finding the remote, pressing it and finding Cobblepot there and being outraged. Suzie might not be that outraged, I’m not sure, but Miguel probably would. I’m not sure if there’s a speaker too, because it’s clearly soundproofed since Cobblepot can’t hear out after he presses the button, some kind of Jamming system, he calls it. Which is basically elevator music. Should have learned to read lips, Cobblepot!

But Cobblepot, as it turns out, has some contingencies in place for if he drops off the radar, in the form of two shadowy creeps cutting fish at a production facility. The fact that he thinks his D-listers stand a chance against Jason is honestly adorable.

In the office, Miguel waxes poetic a moment about how he’s feeling all fulfilled and such, running the Casino. It’s maybe a little weird? Like if you said this guy was brainwashed right now I’d be like, yeah, I see it. I don’t think he’s actually brain-washed though, I think he’s just being set up to be really disappointed when he finds out his new situation is built on Jason keeping Cobblepot prisoner. It seems like Miguel is the ‘people-pleaser’ type. He feels most fulfilled when he’s being helpful. As a hero you save people, sure but people are also blaming everything you can’t fix on you, and you don’t get a lot of contact with the people you save after the fact, so being in a more mundane job where he can see the fruits of his labor actually probably fits him better, especially with a good boss like Jason.

And Jason seems to be a good boss, we see. He trusts his employees to do their jobs, isn’t breathing down their necks, acts friendly and positively to them, is concerned for their well-being and they can come to him with problems without him taking it out on them. He really seems to be good at being in charge, actually. People prop up Tim and Dick to be such great leaders, but they both act aloof and sarcastic and sometimes even take out their frustration on the people around them. They aren’t great leaders, in my opinion. They’re great tacticians and they’re very charismatic so people want to listen to them, but they actually are very frustrating leaders to have for their teammates a lot of the time. Jason does have the same bat-weakness as they all do though, in that he keeps secrets that he probably shouldn’t keep from his teammates and I think that’s what’s going to ruin this whole gig.

Let’s take a moment to talk about the art. It’s the same colorist we’ve had, who has been doing a great job, but we went back to the artist who’s been doing things since Dexter Soy left, and while I do like him, I’m a little disappointed. He does great bodylines and shadows and proportions are very good, I like the way he did Cobblepot’s nose super exaggerated, but...I really miss cute Jason’s face from the other artist last issue. In profile Jason looks okay sometimes, all the Su girls look great and most of the other characters too, but in front and three-quarters views it’s very strange and angular, I don’t like it. Also his hair isn’t fluffy and nice, it’s slick and spikey. Oh well, the art quality is still high and I appreciate all the work put into it, I just don’t personally like how Jason is being drawn, but It’s still better than the buzzcut, in my opinion.

But speaking of Jason, he looks awesome in the white, black and red tux, I love it. Jay in formal-wear, always nice. And walking through the casino floor he suddenly spies...

Isabel! Which I was surprised and actually kind of excited to see a little. For those who don’t remember, Jason went on like, two dates with her in the New 52 RHATO. She’s an airline stewardess and basically her thing is she’s minding her own business, runs into Jason and she ends up picking up alien guns and shooting people, and taking it really chill. And this happened more than once. They seemed to decide that Jason constantly being in danger meant they couldn’t really date, since even though she could seemingly handle being in fire-fights all the time unlike most people, she didn’t want that for obvious reasons.

...but apparently she changed her mind.

I personally am pretty committed to Jason and Artemis being a romantic couple in the canon, and I do not want to see him get back together with Isabel, but I do like her and I think she’s mostly good for Jason. This is going to be kind of interesting though because Jason also had a relationship with Essence, who is obviously going to show up later on. Honestly, the ideal situation is that at the end of the arc, Essence and Isabel are in the same room and Artemis drops in from a portal and returns, and all three sit around comparing notes about Jason and he’s just terrified.

But as they are in the midst of their fancy kiss, the casino gets attacked by Penguin’s contingency bozos. Jason says, “I’m not in the 'doing something’ business anymore,” which is kind of confusing to me? Like I didn’t think he was ‘quitting’ being the Red Hood, per se. Or maybe he genuinely thought he was, and he could do everything through his casino without being Red Hood anymore. I don’t know. But we all know Jason won’t stop 'doing something', in particular shooting people who have it coming. So I’m not sure if he’s outright lying to her, or it’s just strange wording. But also, where the heck is Wingman in all this?

So, the people who show up are the ‘Five Aces’ who I have never heard of. I’m assuming Lobdell didn’t just make them up for this, but maybe he did, I’m not sure. What I do know is there are four aces in a deck so there being five aces is confusing. But the Su sisters are on it and fight these guys and I actually really like the Su sisters, they are each of them very cool, even if Candy is sort of a discount Harley Quinn. They are all very snazzy and badass and I’m glad they got a redemption of sorts by teaming up with Jason.

One thing though, is they treat Suzie Su like she’s freaking invulnerable? She gets hit with arrows and an axe and doesn’t even bleed, like what? Clearly she has invulnerability and maybe some super-human strength, but no one has mentioned this ever, so...

The fight is pretty good, all the ladies got chances to be badass, the art was easy to understand and looked clean. And it’s actually nice to see people just straight up shoot someone, like we don’t need to make this complicated, just do the obvious thing to take them out, yeah? There was no blood, which felt unrealistic and a little insulting. The sisters take out four of the five aces, and I think at least three of them are arguably dead, since one got shot to hell, one had a bomb stuck down his pants and the other got his face blown up. The guy stuck in the diamond/ice might be alive but if you tell me the others are later I’m gonna call bullshit. But all this leads to the sisters remarking that this might be a diversion to take out Jason which...

Jason is running around with Isabel and she remarks, “Oh you’ve really changed,” which, no? Jason always tried to get Isabel out of the situation first, if I recall? This is perfectly in character for how he has acted towards her before. She was always the one who insisted on jumping in with him I think, but I guess she means him delegating and not jumping in too. But he only had Roy and Starfire before so he didn’t really have a choice back then. I don’t know, I guess maybe there is a subtle distinction, but the way I see it, before he stayed involved to help his friends and here, the Su sisters are paid employees who should be able to handle things on their own, and there’s a bunch more of them and their fighting the dregs of the villain bucket. It’s the situation that has changed, not Jason himself.

At this point the fifth ace appears, takes some shots at them, and Jason says, “Hold my beer,” for no goddamn reason. This line really put me out of the story. He’s not even holding a beer, or anything at all for that matter, the line in this situation makes no sense. Lobdell, stop forcing memes or whatever into Red Hood comics. I don’t like it. Yeah, Jason is sarcastic and quippy on occasion but he’s not this pop-culture geek you have suddenly started insisting he is? Like that’s Tim or even Dick, it’s not Jason, okay? Also, this situation might have been funny if he actually was holding a champagne flute or something? It’s a casino, he could reasonably have been doing that before. Or he could have handed her his jacket, I don’t know, then maybe the line would make sense. It would still be dumb, but at least it would make sense.

But anyway, Miguel uses his brick powers to save them from getting shot up and hands Jason a suitcase--the “security protocols”, which contains his Red Hood outfit. Apparently this was not actually a thing set up by Jason himself, Miguel did it. So give this guy a raise, Jason, he’s really going above and beyond for you over here. I’m thinking maybe it’s not that Jason has totally stopped being Red Hood, just that he is trying to avoid being him in his casino to keep the connection between Jason Todd and Red Hood a secret, which makes sense.

It turns out the fifth ace guy is one of the All-Caste, which considering the fancy swords and the fact that there are only four aces in a deck, makes sense. Jason calls him out and it’s reiterated that Jason is the ‘chosen’, the last disciple of the All-Caste.

They fight, the guy spouts some stuff about how Jason never should have been trained and all that jazz. Jason remarks that people are always trying to make him do things their way and he’s more or less sick and tired of it. Which, you can’t blame him, no one who ever tried to train Jason seemed to have his interests at heart, even Bruce really. They just wanted a biddable little ninja boy.

So that all goes down and Jason literally turns the guy to dust, that’s just what happens to All-Caste and Untitled who get killed I guess, they turn to dust because they’re ancient. Suzie is all worried about Jason which is kind of nice. Like someone actually giving a shit about Jason is honestly a novelty, no one in the bat family ever seems to wonder if he’s okay, Biz and Artemis gave him lots of space and just assume he could handle himself, only Roy and Starfire cared at all and Roy is dead now. So yeah, seeing someone rush in, worried for Jason, kind of endears me to Suzie. I know she did messed up stuff in the past but I’m sold, okay? If she goes back to being an irredeemable villain I’ll be really disappointed.

But the real important thing is Jason hides that he took out the other intruder. He isn’t mentioning the All-Caste stuff to her, or maybe anyone, he could tell Miguel and Wingman about it later, we don’t know. All I know is that it’s in character, Jason tries very hard to keep All-Caste/Untitled stuff to himself and the Caste and not involve outsiders, but I know for a fact it’s going to blow up in his face somehow. It all worked out with Roy and Starfire but I don’t see it going so well here.

And that’s it. This issue was a lot of set up, there was good action, a lot of stuff happened. I’m interested to see more All-Caste stuff, hopefully get some things about it explained. It was really a blast from the past and felt a lot like New 52 RHATO which...I have mixed feelings about. I was hoping or something different, that seemed to be what was happening with the Casino arc but it’s really turning a corner. It wasn’t as if the New 52 run was all bad, and I mostly like what he’s done with the Su sisters so far, but I just hope Lobdell takes the occasion to re-explain some things with the All-Caste into being more interesting or making more sense. Seeing Isabel again was a nice surprise but I personally don’t see it lasting. Everything is going to come down on Jason again and she’s going to remember why they didn’t really go out in the first place. Also, I have a personal bias for Artemis, so there’s that.

I have NO IDEA what is going on with Wingman, why the heck wasn’t he in the issue at all? He was built up as some big mystery and wanted Jason to go back to Gotham, but then he isn’t even here when stuff goes down? I hope this doesn’t turn into some loose end that never gets explained, but we’ll have to see.

[imnoexpertblog]

Here's some stuff to do and listen to.

7/20/18

Are you ready to receive some suggestions to entertain your fine selves? ‘Cause I’m ready to give it.

For those who are local: My dad and brother run NYFO together for Green Bay. What’s NYFO? WELL. “NYFO 7on7 Football is the next generation of player development, no matter your skill set. NYFO is the NATIONAL GOVERNING BODY for 7on7 & Non-contact Football. Our leagues, camps, and training exist to ultimately transition better, safer, and more fundamentally sound knowledgeable players. NYFO is committed to helping every player in our program improve no matter their skill level. By doing so we will ultimately enhance the sport of football, from youth organizations through the NFL. NYFO is ‘Non-Contact’ For parents, ‘non-contact’ can be translated into ‘one-hand touch.’ Without the distraction of full-contact, players can focus on fundamentals. With so much negative media attention given to concussions and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), 7on7 offers parents a safer alternative for kids wanting to play football.” Quick additional info: They offer programs for age groups 8U, 10U, 13U, 15U, and 18U. Go to their website if you’re interested in signing your kids up! Okay but anyway, if you need something to do this Friday you should go to a Bullfrogs baseball game! Bullfrogs “Stars Of Tomorrow” fundraiser family & friend tickets are $18 and include your ticket (duh), a Bullfrogs hat, a hot dog, AND a soda! A damn steal if you ask me. It helps out NYFO and you’ll have something fun to do! All registered players from NYFO get in free with and a portion of the proceeds from family/friends tickets sales going to the NYFO by simply using code “NYFO7on7” at the point of purchase. Go to greenbaybullfrogs.com, click Buy Tickets Now in the top right corner, and enter the promo code (NYFO7on7). Gates open at 6:05pm and the game is at 7:05pm!  See you at the diamond on July 20th! Give them a follow on Instagram! @greenbay.nyfo

I never really blog about music for how passionate I am about it. I have mentioned before that I sing, too. I’d love music even if I couldn’t sing though. Anyway, everyone loves finding new music, right? I’m gonna tell you my most listened to artists and songs on my Spotify. First, I’ll tell you how I found this data. I found this question forum on this link: https://www.quora.com/Is-there-a-way-to-see-my-most-played-artists-songs-in-Spotify. You’ll see in the answer that there’s Spotify.Me or there’s ManageMyMusic to see your most listened to stuff. Spotify.Me is intricate and gives you information like your favorites, streaming habits, and listening insights. Apparently, what I listen to the most is considered to be a bunch of different types of “pop.” I don’t know if I agree with that. They also tell me that “I know what I want” because 84% of my favorite artists are within my most-listened to genre. That I can agree with. It says I’m high energy lately in my streaming choices, but I don’t see it. I have been choosing really chill music, in my opinion. The other link in that question/answer forum is called ManageMyMusic and it gives you a ton of lists; Top artists and tracks for the “Short Term (4 weeks),” the “Medium Term (6 months),” and for the “Long Term (Years).” I’ll give you my top ten for each category, though I know there will be overlapping. I obviously love everything I am about to include so please give this stuff a listen. You’re about to get an intimate peek at my soul.

Top artists -- Short Term (4 weeks)

Jon Bellion

Drake

Milky Chance

Hozier

Andrew Belle

Bazzi

Aaron Carter

Roy Woods

dvsn

Troy Sivan

I didn’t realize that I listened to that much Jon Bellion lately. I mean, he is fantastic. I just didn’t realize I listened to so much of him in the last month.

Top artists -- Medium Term (6 months)

Drake

Blackbear

Tory Lanez

Marc E. Bassy

Jon Bellion

Bazzi

Post Malone

Hozier

Aaron Carter

Sam Smith

I can say for DAMN SURE that Baby has heavily influenced who I listened to these past 6 months. Drake has always been my man but I never listened to Blackbear, Tory Lanez, or Marc E. Bassy before I met him.

Top artists -- Long Term (years)

Drake

Sam Smith

Troye Sivan

Andrew Belle

Justin Bieber

Jon Bellion

The Weeknd

Jessie Ware

Hozier

Tove Lo

None of that even remotely surprises me.

Top tracks -- Short Term (4 weeks)

Jessie Ware, You & I (Forever)

Hozier, Jackie and Wilson

Sabrina Claudio, Orion's Belt

Jon Bellion, Overwhelming

Jon Bellion, 2 Rocking Chairs

Vance Joy, Mess Is Mine

The 1975, Somebody Else

Jon Bellion, The Good In Me

JAHKOY, Still In Love

Young the Giant, Cough Syrup

This is all very "me" lately.

Top tracks -- Medium Term (6 months)

Alina Baraz, Show Me

6LACK, Learn Ya

Tory Lanez, I Sip

Blackbear, moodz (feat. 24hrs)

Marc E. Bassy, 4am

Tory Lanez, Skrt Skrt

Ansel Elgort, Supernova

Bazzi, Mine

Post Malone, Psycho (feat. Ty Dolla $ign)

R I T U A L, Better By Now

This list is definitely Baby-approved.

Top tracks -- Long Term (years)

Justin Bieber, The Feeling

Troye Sivan, WILD

ZAYN, PILLOWTALK

Snakehips, All My Friends

Tatiana Manaois, Helplessly

Bryson Tiller, Don't

Chris Stapleton, Tennessee Whiskey

Sam Smith, Not In That Way

Hozier, Work Song

A R I Z O N A, Let Me Touch Your Fire

Honestly, the first 5 tracks do surprise me a little, but that was back when I had my music on constantly when I was single and home alone quite often. I remember keeping those on repeat for hours at times, so I’m not sure how accurate that actually is only because of that fact. This was all super cool to see, though. Some of it was expected, some unexpected. Either way, I hope I gave you some new stuff to listen to! And you should check out for own profiles. Nice opportunity to learn a little about yourself.

This past weekend, it was pretty warm out. Baby and I wanted to get Nugget a sprinkler so I took the little one with me to the store aaaaand they were sold out. Due to all the warmth. So I bought Nugget some water guns instead. We got 2 smaller ones and 2 larger ones for THIRTEEN DOLLARS, TOTAL. YEAH. This s’mom was shocked by that price, that’s for sure. We played and sprayed when we got home. Baby and Nugget had some fun together. The first thing Nugget did when we filled his gun though was spray me right in the (get ready) vagina. Yes. Then he yells, “I’M SPRAYING YOU IN THE PARTS.” I was like, “Uhhhhh, let’s not spray anyone’s parts and also let’s talk about anyone’s parts. It’s not polite and those are private” LOL. He’s never said anything to me about private parts or anything so that was new to me. He walks into my room when I’m changing a fair amount of the time and I know for a fact he’s seen more than I meant him to, but he has never asked questions, pointed anything out, etc. I think it’s important to set an example for your children in the sense to be comfortable with their bodies and such. This might be a whole new chapter with Nugget! We will see. Enough about my “parts” and back to the water guns. Baby said that on one of the weeks that we don’t have Nugget, that he wants to do a water gun race with me. I got 2 free beach balls from Sprint when I got a new phone last week (among a ton of other free shit, which I'll tell y'all about soon) and Baby said we should see whoever can get the beach ball across our backyard the fastest by spraying them with the water guns. I honestly think that sounds more fun than any idea I've ever had LOL. It reminds me of when I almost bought us both Nerf guns. So, if things are little mundane (or even if they’re not) maybe you and your love should find your inner children together! Get water-balloons and have a water-balloon fight, chalk up your driveway, set up obstacle courses, have a scavenger hunt! You can make it interesting by making fun deals. Whoever loses has to make dinner, for example. I think we will try all of these ideas eventually.

Speaking of shopping with Nugget, I am in the process of teaching him about not asking for toys every time we go. Baby went through a break up after a 3 year relationship before we was with me. He told me that he felt awful that Nugget no longer had two people raising him and Baby made up for that by buying Nugget toys every time they went to the store. I could tell there was a reason why Nugget would ask like clockwork what toy he would get every time we went shopping. I have been working on breaking Nugget of that expectation, as well as working on having him appreciate the things he has at home. I explain to him Daddy and I only have a certain amount of dollars and that its usually only enough to buy what we needed from the store in the first place. He actually understands this concept very well. He always asks why we are going to the store, so I always have the opportunity to tell him what we need to buy. When we went to buy the sprinkler he asked me, "Can we get a toy from here?" and I replied with, "Buddy, remember what we came here for?" He answered correctly about buying a sprinkler. I said in a very positive tone, "Yep and I'm pretty sure we only have enough dollars for a sprinkler. And you also have a bunch of toys at home that you love to play with." We walked by a few things that piqued his interest. As we walked by some bubble-guns, he goes, "Oooh, those look fun. But we only have dollars to get the sprinkler." I was so proud of him for making this connection and also proud of myself for explaining it to him so that he really does understand this. I was raised by people who didn't explain things. It was always a "because I said so" type of world and I learned to accept it. I won't put Nugget in that world, though. I want him to recognize reasoning and be able to grasp why things are the way they are. He is incredibly intelligent and capable of knowing this information. I also want him to trust me and be honest with me as we grow together, so the first step is me trusting him and being honest with him first. Just wanted to share my super proud s'mom moment of the week. I'll be back tomorrow with new recipes for you!

[erinelezabeth920]

Epilogue: Galapagos

Ha, thought you were done with me eh? In the spirit of epilogues, I’ll try to be brief, but hey it’s unlikely. This blog was really just an exercise in trying to document a crazy fast, once in a lifetime experience that could slip by in the blink of an eye. Tears in the rain, via Roy Batty via Blade Runner. The writing wasn’t stellar. There were typos and shitty internet. But hey. I did it. It’s there and that can never go away. And it really helped me to imagine (even if it was only imaginary) that there were people on the other side. So if you’ve made it this far, really. Really. Thank you.

***

I got picked up from Monica’s at 5:30 am. Chelsea, Mayra and I rode to the airport. After paying the Galapagos visa fee and some booking kerfuffles, I got on the flight first to Guayaquil, then Isla Baltra. Landing on the island was cool; windswept with cacti, surrounded by water. I had an issue paying the 100$ Parque entrance fee, as I didn’t know it couldn’t be card and the airport ATM was out of cash. The airport folks held on to my passport, saying to pick it up in the town when I had my money. Seemed questionable but what can you do.

I took a bus, boat and another bus from the airport to a crossing to another island, and down a windy road on that island to a town. We passed farms and mostly empty green space. Luckily the bus dropped me off right in front of my hostel. Cool.

The town was neat. A mix of locals and tourists with markets and ceviche places. I took a nap, found some ceviche, walked to the docks and watched a movie. I was dead tired. The next morning I rented a bike, went to the Darwin Research center, and tracked down my passport. I had dinner with my friend Jenna from the program who was also traveling.

The day after I slept late again, picked up my laundry and biked/ walked to a beach. I met Mayra and Chelsea there. We sat for a bit staring at the waves and discussing the program. We met later that night for dinner and ended up at the only bar in town chatting up locals. They reminded me of my friends from Orcas Island. When in Galapagos?

The next day I shelled out some of my dwindling money for a snorkeling trip. The seas were rough and it was cold, but we saw seals, sharks, fish, rays and the most beautiful sea turtles. The folks on the trip were funny too. Two german girls who were very sick convinced the recent college grad from UCLA to tell stories about his past 10 months in Ecuador the whole time as a distraction. Surprisingly it worked.

I grabbed dinner with Mayra and Chelsea again, but was too tired to stay out. I met them for lunch the next day, where they had talked up the waiter and were getting free drinks. #blondeprivelage

After that I caught a boat from the dock to another island, Isabella. I had left the majority of my stuff at the hostel as I’d be returning in three nights. The ride was bumpy, two hours long and terrible. I had to pay a 10$ “docking fee”, whatever that is.

I spent three nights on Isla Isabella. It was beautiful but kind of a tough time as I didn’t bring enough cash. As a result I was hungry a lot and kind of lonely, a little over traveling. Which is a crazy feeling to have in the Galapagos but travel is not all sexy photos and cool stuff, regardless where you are. I’d argue islands make you more lonely. Andy and Emily were off backpacking the Enchantments, one of the most beautiful places in Washington, and Andy was heading to a wedding on a lovely island outside of Seattle after. I was homesick and spent a lot of time waiting for instagram stories to load on the low quality internet.

There were highlights though. A hike to a volcanic crater where the guide (in Spanish) told us about growing up on the island, how the culture was changing with more tourism (white specifically) and less Spanish. I didn’t understand everything, but enough to figure out he conveniently left that part out to the English speaking Canadian contingency of the tour.

Another fun part was that my friends Jenna and Audrey from the program were around. We’d get dinner and talk about our days, other travels and all the things. I said bye to them Friday night. Mayra and Chelsea had left the day before from another island, so it was just me.

Another day I went kayaking and snorkeling. There was a beautiful German man paddling in a double with me who I was better than. My two German friends from the snorkeling trip were also there, looking much less sick. It was a blast. We saw penguins on the rocks, seals, a sharks and a turtle. I loved just sliding off the kayak right into the water. After that, I walked the length of the beach to the end, where a gravel road travelled up into some mangroves. At the end of the road was a cool rock wall waterfall thing but it was a ways and getting dark, so I climbed up a lookout instead. It was beautiful.

The next day I left Isabella at 3pm. I saw my German friends on the beach who were taking surf lessons and invited me, but I didn’t have the money. My phone charger and watch had also both died that day, and I kept having to ask strangers what time it was.

The ride back was 100x better, probably because of the sea sickness pill Jenna had given me. I checked back into the hostel, grabbed my things, and got some food. Seafood pasta which wasn’t that good. Should’ve gotten the ceviche and michelada, the always wise words of Erin forever in my head. Push that comfort zone.

The night was pretty. I said bye to the salt air and the ice cream and the seals sleeping on the bench, but I was tired and running out of money and pretty ready to go. The next morning I misunderstood the timing for the bus and had to take a 25$ taxi to the dock. It ended up being ok though because the driver was really nice, told me about living on a farm on the island and how he hates the rain (it was raining). Plus, on the side of the road, just munching on some leaves, I finally saw a tortoise in the wild.

So began my 24 hour journey from Galapagos to Boston with a taxi, boat, bus, plane, plane, plane, plane. There was another docking fee for the airport and I was so fed up with upcharges by that point, I only had 4$ cash and made them take it.

I saw my German friends at the airport again. Funny how traveling does that. Back in Quito I ate onion rings and a milkshake which made my stomach hurt, but my American self couldn’t resist. In Miami, I kept speaking Spanish because why not, until the baggage claim had issues and I thought I’d miss my flight to Boston through customs. I would’ve had an actual meltdown. I had very little left at that point. Luckily it was fixed and I got to the gate just in time, arriving in Boston at 10am. After confusing texts, because Boston is always confusing, I met Andy at the baggage claim. We went straight to Dunkin Donuts, as I’d barely eaten since Quito,and sat on a bench outside the airport in the hot muggy air, waiting for our Air Bnb to open up before we took the train into the city. I watched the Red Sox and Patriots hats go by, and held my iced coffee like a diamond. I talked and talked and talked, finally in person without the internet delay. And Andy smiled and listened and commented supportively. And occasionally hugged me to remember I was real, and we were happy.

We spent the next week with family and friends in Boston and Rockport Mass, and I was happy floating with comfort, family, good food, someone to sleep next to. I saw old friends in Boston, and a Seattle friend moving to Norway. My stomach didn’t hurt and my brother and his girlfriend came up from New York. We went sailing, drank wine with my aunts and uncles, did puzzles and played Euchre, ate lobster and it was maybe the happiest week of my life. Nothing like leaving to make you appreciate the things you love most.

Then, 5 days later we dropped off Colin, Lian and Andy at the airport and bus station in Boston in a rainstorm. My dad and dog and I drove back to Rochester. That’s where some of the post travel depression set in. In reverse culture shock phases there’s the honeymoon followed by the lull, the reaclimation. I didn’t sleep well, slept late in the mornings. I visited grandparents in nursing homes which is always hard when you never know which time is the last goodbye. Plus I think, regardless of travel or not, childhood homes as an adult are always hard, a strange mix of feelings.

On the plus side I had fresh peaches, good Italian food and cut all my hair off. I hung out with my parents, driving around looking at smaller houses they should move in to, knowing they’re happy where they are. The last night I went with my dad to race our sailboat on Lake Ontario. There was strong wind and I sat in the front, watching the sun set. We got first place, the same boat my grandparents raced 30 years before. I dove into the water and let it rock me, the original water as I spent the first two years of my life in a little house on Lake Ontario, carried in the waves in my mother’s arms before I could walk.

The sun set. The crescent moon rose. The crickets chirped. That heavy almost midwestern summer night. The men sat on the porch and talked about the race. I drank a Molson Canadian and flipped the sausages. I was flying out to Seattle in the morning. I took a breath and looked around, letting it seep in. This was home, deep and rooted as the heart on the sail of our boat. We can travel the world in wide circles, as far as we want but those strings, invisible strings will always ground us and root us to the earth, a small piece in the puzzle, branch of the tree of our family, ancestors and the bodily feel alignment, relaxing into your deepest, original self.

Until next time my friends.

Always in adventure,

Erin

[digital-strategy]

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Time and time again, the discussion comes up. Building links to your homepage can be challenging, building links to category pages on an ecommerce site, however, is a totally different universe of hard.

Trawling through the backlink profiles on everyday retail websites while I was researching this blog post made me feel pretty sad.

You come across a lot of rubbish.

It shouldn’t all work but a lot of it does. Enough to hide the stuff that doesn’t. It’s been obvious for years that large online retailers especially are being duped into paying for volumes of links from Mummy blogs on blogspot domains and product review sites for almost no reason whatsoever. Unsuspecting SEO teams are spending hundreds of thousands a year for links that are essentially making their jobs harder.

All this in a time when less needs to be more.

Often, you’ll see a category page with no links ranking very well, hosted on domains with fewer links than some of their competitors, even in quite competitive search results! I have a domain that performs extremely well with a tenth of the links of the biggest competitor because, in my opinion, the engagement on its content elsewhere on the domain is really, really good. This equity seems to transfer to the commercial side of the site’s rankings, which makes sense – have good content and Google will reward the domain as a whole.

But I don’t want to be a total downer! There’s some clever stuff out there too and lots of cool tactics to build links without spending shed loads of money on nonsense.

How is it done?

As I wrote in my post about the fundamentals of link building, gaining the confidence in more challenging areas of manual link building depends on your ability to analyse the types of sites that link out in your vertical. From there, work out which link types are scalable enough to execute a worthwhile link building campaign.

To write this post I’m literally following that process: analysing what sorts of links are pointing to ecommerce category pages, telling you about it, and deriving some sort of meaningful strategy to help you build more.

That’s all a link builder does when you get down to brass tacks.

I started the research for this blog post with such optimism, but as I delved deeper and deeper into the work it dawned on me how hard it is to find category pages with decent links. When it’s run-of-the-mill, everyday stuff, I’m afraid to say the links aren’t particularly wonderful.

The bad

This page that sells diamond blades is propped up by a network of search results pages. That whole niche is poorly linked though, and they’re clearly getting away with it on the strength of the domain.

Some of the stuff you find is actually very entertaining, just for the wrong reasons.

Brian Griffin is dead. His return “would undoubtedly be one of the best Christmas gifts fans could hope for”.

Good for PR but low ROI for SEO

It’s quite easy to find stuff like this promoting individual products and their respective brand and category pages. Blogs like this are part of networks that make themselves accessible to brands looking to partner ‘with the UK’s top blogs’.

As giveaways or product reviews go, this is pretty decent one but the longevity of this tactic leaves me feeling nervous.

I discussed this with our Head of Content, Rebecca who in a previous life managed large networks of bloggers where giveaways were used as a major tactic. As Rebecca put it,

“As SEO’s we of course reverted to links as the main motivation for working with bloggers initially, however we began to realise that the real value was in their audience and influence. Though many of them didn’t have particularly impactful sites from a domain perspective, the impact of working with bloggers on digital PR campaigns with Digital PR KPIs was far more beneficial”

I suspect the ineffectiveness from an SEO point of view is a natural consequence of the fact that the blogs are part of a network, and in most cases are algorithmically easy to detect. Or they’re just all hosted on the same IP address! Cough. Blogspot. Cough.

This is better

It’s far from all bad, though. This page is getting links from caravanning forums discussing the merits of traditional silicone sealant in caravan repairs, internal bodywork repairs in classic cars and Kit cars too.

I think this kind of thing is good because it’s legitimate conversation about product on the Internet, which is what you want! These types of links often make up a large part of the typical backlink profiles of vast numbers of websites, yet we seem to think Google will reward an influx of guest posts on unrelated blogs. Hmmm.

This is nice

This page made me a feel a lot better during my research.

Nordic inspired Christmas decor ideas (redirect), websites entirely about Christmas, affiliates and so on.

Most of the links are redirects which explains this Ahrefs chart:

The tactic was working for a time, holding a P2 ranking for ‘Christmas decorations‘, a query that I imagine will peak sometime around the end of November. While I’ve been writing this article, the ranking has changed to the better populated sub category page.

Still, seasonal or themed collections pages are a nice thing to have for link building if you have:

a) nice products

b) nice photography

c) and some (relevant) linked-to pages to redirect to the new one.

For me, it’s a good call and you’d expect some communities to eat this stuff up. It’s just a shame we can’t all have nice things to promote.

A bit of keyword research yields good ideas

Debenhams have it spot on in the keyword research department. Adding ‘ideas’ into the keyword targeting on their lighting category page moves their brand much earlier up the consideration funnel.

Having a decent product photography collection, and being able to pitch your category page as an ideas page has powerful linkbuilding potential. I love the tactic of offering your photography for credit back to the source, or putting collections together for seasonal or themed articles:

Themed collections such as this and this make for credible, authentic links placed in front of a well targeted audience.

During some research I did for an interiors site, I made a note to investigate 80’s/90’s design, put together some theme collections and send individual product PR to sites like this and this with some photography and a strong story. There are heaps of ideas waiting to be discovered on Reddit.

Link building ideas for category pages

If you are challenged with building links to your category pages, try to take some inspiration from some of these tried and tested ideas:

Will the manufacturer list / link to the online retailer?

Often manufacturers and distributors have retailer location pages, and even if you don’t have a physical shop presence they’ll still link to you and send you (high converting!) traffic reasonably easily.

Make sure your products are shareable and the images are easy to embed

Themed or seasonal collections are simple to come up with once you get going. 17th century interiors? Classic car collections? Even reaching out to enthusiast and club websites with an offer to add one photo with credit will often be well received.

Consider hosting your “linkable” assets, like buyer’s guides, on the category page with a named anchor link to the content

Most retailers use buyer’s guides to get their category specific knowledge across to their customers. Instead of hosting all that content on a separate URL, host it in its own section on the category page with a named anchor link (# link) to the content and use that as a resource for outreach.

Forum monitoring (mentions of a product name or category keyword)

Build out profiles in the top forums in your space and then set up mention monitoring for any posts that may be relevant to your product or category.

Do they have a physical presence? Local towns and cities or part of a shopping centre?

If the retailer you’re working with has physical shop presence, are their websites listed? Not all the shops listed on this Shopping Centre’s page have website links. Towns and cities have lots of these types of sites to contact for links.

Does your website have an open source CMS that showcases examples?

I can’t imagine a link from Magento would do much harm to your SEO. Look at pages like this, put together a decent case study and have a go.

Offer discounts to readers of other sites’ how to guides

You might not have written your own how to guide, but they are plentiful on the internet. What about offering a discount or bundle to readers of the better how to guides in your space? I’m a keen fan of racing of all types, including sim racing. There are lots of guides like this to choose from…

Are there association links you should have, but don’t?

Like this page on the European Power Tools Association website, found quickly and easily with the right Google search query.

Use Google image search to find sites after you’ve exhausted web search

Image search results are (understandably) very different to web search results in that you’ll probably find domains and pages you couldn’t in the ordinary SERPs. You can find hundreds of potential sites that will link if you ask them to credit for using of an image of you – you’ll find things you didn’t know existed, I promise!

Capitalise on a nice design, site performance or even your site speed!

Look at collections like this if you’re confident your site design is strong. Thinking outside the box you could offer case studies on the performance of your site (I’ve never seen a collection of the fastest retail websites on the Internet).

Execute the link building fundamentals properly

If you haven’t read my link building advice on this page, take a look as your next port of call. Enjoy!

via SEOgadget.co.uk