#i do enjoy some types of dark content even if my tastes are mostly pretty romantic/vanilla-ish | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

obeymeluv · 3 years ago

Note

Isnt devildom liquor weaker than human world liquor? Mc had beat Asmo in a drinking contest. How do you think it they'd act, completely hammered in the human world. I think harder liquor means stupider drunks.

Spoiler alert to the in-game MC’s “heritage” reveal. You know, the descendent/reincarnation thing. If you know, you know.

Below: Thoughts on Devildom liquor + the specific incident Nonnie is talking about with Asmo in game + THE ACTUAL ANSWER TO THE ASK. My bad, haha.

My thoughts on Devildom liquor at that point in the game:

The MC is not as affected because they are human/angel. Maybe the angel part fortifies MC and makes it harder for them to get drunk?

Maybe the HUMAN side of MC is what makes it harder for them to get drunk on Devildom liquor? Like...everything in the Devildom is made primarily for demons so maybe there are ingredients in there that specifically affect those with demon blood. Maybe humans don’t have the biology to be inebriated by those ingredients?

I am a little fuzzy on that point in the game but did Asmo pre-game? Like, a lot? Did we ever find out? I could see him being so emotionally distraught that his lovely MC is leaving that he just wants to be sloshed. Maybe he assumed MC beat him in a drinking contest because he forgot how much he already drank?

Maybe Solomon gave MC a heads up that Asmo was down for drinking and gave them a pre-game potion of their own to ward off the affects.

End hypothesis: Maybe Devildom liquor IS strong (for demons) but that potency just can’t translate in human bodies so the bros (Lucifer especially) don’t want MC drinking it because they’re not sure what it will do. They just ASSUME it will do to MC what it does to them.

Other thoughts: Because demons sprinkled little secrets to the humans over the course of history, gave them trinkets and magic and things, I’d like to think they gave humans the idea or process of alcohol-making but are TOTALLY not prepared for the end result. All the flavors, types, etc.

As far as I understand it (at the point I’m at in the game), travel between the Devildom and human world was widely discouraged until Diavolo could make a program that united the three realms and improved the overall image. So basically everyone has been separated for thousands of years.

What if demons are equally bad at holding human world liquor? I could just see a drunk Asmo being like, “What is this? Sangria? This isn’t what I told them to call it.” as he’s trying to drink and (speed) walk away from Beel, who wants the fruit out of the pitcher.

I could just see them all getting TOTALLY wasted on human world stuff just because they thought “Ahh, we taught them this 5,000 years ago! Of COURSE we can handle it! We invented it!” (spoiler alert: they cannot). Like, I’d like to think their biology works against them here. They heal quicker and probably get over stomach aches and things quicker, so they probably metabolize alcohol quicker to restore bodily equilibrium so they probably get flash-drunk off of just about anything with a decent alcohol content.

HOW THEY WOULD ACT (AKA: the real question)

The facts:

They’re all going to be like drunk kittens, big bassy purrs and wanting to cuddle you or scent you.

They’ll basically curl up in a pile together; you occasionally have to move body parts (so no one suffocates).

Do a head count every now and then, give them some crackers/carbs when needed, and put water all around them like a summoning circle because when one of them wakes up, all of them will and they’ll act like big babies

Put a bucket near Lucifer and Asmo, they’re sympathy pukers.

Levi and Belphie need total sensory deprivation when they wake up. You may only breach the darkness to bring them things to settle their stomach and anything to kill the headache

Just give Beel bread and anything like Gatorade/Pedialite. He’ll help you with the others after three loaves or so.

Asmo will be especially pitiful and demand you take care of the others first. Once they’re decently able to take care of themselves he’s near teary-eyed, demanding tummy rubs and tell him he’s still pretty even though he feels awful. Please get him a sheet mask.

Mammon’s not functional enough to help with anything major but he’s standing the next day so he rubs that in everyone’s face. He’s the one shuffling around with a half-eaten sandwich, looking for any comfort item (heating pack, cold wrap for his head). He will demon screech at you if you touch any of the lights in the house.

As Mammon comes to, he demands dim lights and acts like a grumpy mom. He’s making porridge and they better shut up and eat it. Says it’s for him but there’s a suspicious amount of bowls nearby.

Satan just swears he’ll never drink again (like always). Dutifully waits for porridge. Spends most of his time letting cold water run over his head. Can’t spend too much time hunched over because he gets nauseous. Baby him a little. Find a way to let his head float in a bit of water where he can lay down and he’s as quiet as a mouse.

Who can drink the most? (Best to worst - my opinions only)

1) Beel (body mass helps), 2) Mammon (party king), 3) Asmodeus (huuuge history with mixed drinks. Boy is READY), 4) Lucifer, 5) Satan (neck and neck with Lucifer - casual drinker only. Even wine is rare for him), 6) Leviathan, 7) Belphie (usually sleeping instead of drinking).

Lucifer:

We’ve seen little gags about how ‘Lucifer got drunk and unplugged the router’ so this guy’s either going to be super cuddly, a hot mess, or both

You know the people who fluff their hair, comb it back, undo a tie or some buttons and just get comfy as they drink? That’s Lucifer.

He’ll smile a bit more, laugh a bit more, and there will be some color to his cheeks

He’s not sloppy, just cozy.

Drunk Lucifer is not overly loud but he is honest. He won’t throw himself into groups or pester all the brothers, but he’s up for some accidentally-heartwarming one-on-one

When he’s drunk he’ll lay his head on your shoulder and let you play with his hair

Will not win any drinking games. Is actually a lightweight compared to his brothers (see best > worst drinker, above).

Mammon:

GO BIG OR GO HOME! MAMMON’S HERE TO PLAY FOR BIG MONEY! (AKA: bragging rights that he can handle more than his brothers)

He and Asmo are quick to get the drinks flowing because they want to try shots of everything.

He and Asmo are pretty good at matching brothers to drinks and tasting subtle notes, things like that

Show Mammon beer pong once and it’s done. He’s betting the brothers he can whoop them and is somehow able to pull off ping pong ball math to get Lucifer shit-faced real quick (might do it even faster if Belphie or Satan slip him some money)

The type to be like “Bet you I can hit that cup right there--third row, second from the left.” and can do it flawlessly. You have to give him head pats or $5, that’s the rules.

He’ll be one of the bros you have to chase around and make put his clothes back on. Boy will try to strip and strut

Will definitely hoard his favorite bottle (picked it on smell) and spend a majority of the time trying to drink it and avoid the bros. (”YOU CAN’T MAKE ME SHARE IF YOU CAN’T CATCH ME!”)

Leviathan

Not the best drinker. Not a frequent drinker at all.

His envy makes him drink because as he starts to go on a tangent about how ‘it’s not fair! Everyone’s having a good time!’ when he realizes it’s as easy as picking up a drink. Like...he can join in too.

Levi won’t grab himself an alcoholic drink because he’s a nervous over-thinker. Asmo or Mammon will just hand him a cup like the resident Liquor Fairy and he trusts their judgement

The first one to let his demon form out just because the liquor is a little warm in his belly and he feels like he’s flying? Also comfortable?

The excited drunk who goes on animated, slurred rants

The loud laugher

He’s honestly so adorably animated that anyone who knew him would be surprised? He seems far from a shut in

Trade off: he can’t hold his liquor well

Boy probably trips on his own tail or thinks something snagged his ankle to bring him down when, in fact, he just fell down

Sways when he sits

When he’s done, he just wants a nice comfy lap to lay in and maybe play with his hair.

Like Lucifer, liquor will make him confess all his feelings.

Watch out for the tail. It will be all over you when he starts to lose the ability to wrap it around himself.

Satan:

It’s a toss-up as to whether he gets drunk before Lucifer or vice versa. I’d like to think his tolerance is slightly higher since he might run in the same circles as Asmo, but he is a part of Lucifer so I’m sure it balances out

He’s a drink snob and this is what hurts him the most. He goes to fancy tastings and random things he’s invited to, but this is a drop in the bucket

He’s never gone hardcore before because he’s afraid he’ll be prone to anger

He’s not. He’s actually a lot like Levi. He just wants to smile and laugh and have fun.

The one who knows a lot of random/interesting stuff and has unexpectedly awesome party tricks

He and Asmo act as instigators and somehow con everyone else into getting drunk. It’s mostly because he wants blackmail material, but he enjoys the mind games

He’s the one you’re going to have to carry BUT he’s super chill when he’s having a good time. You want him to wear a lampshade? Okay, but only if you call him Enlightened One (get it?)

Makes bad jokes. Lucifer definitely laughs

The one that randomly dances with someone at the party. But it’s a fancy dance or slow dance, not something crazy

Will try to prove he’s not as drunk as he is by reading or reciting something and just breaks down into snorts and giggles

Cat Mode: Activated. He wants to be all over you. Hug him and play with his hair, please.

Asmo:

Asmo isn’t really different from his usual self.

He’s a little social butterfly, making his rounds and checking on people

He’s the silent, sneaky drunk. No one notices he’s drunk until his face starts getting red and his eyes get glassy

The quiet cuddler. Just progressively gets closer to you until he’s resting his head on your shoulder, hugging you from the side and asking you to give him his drink.

Would be the happiest person on the planet if you literally just held his drink up to his lips and let him drink it when he wanted to. You just love him so much?! You’re so thoughtful?! He wants to cry

Guilty party #2 for ‘chase him around and make him put his clothes back on’

Next in line for ‘Liquor makes me tell the truth and my darkest secrets’.

Will try any activity at the party and will dance at least once with everybody

If he gets in a fight, that’s because someone doesn’t respect what he put on the party playlist. He knows good music, okay?!

Has a personal goal to steal one drink from everyone, drink it before they realize, and hand them back the empty cup as he slips away. Something about it just amuses him.

Wants to leave lipstick/lip gloss kisses on people. Thinks they’re the cutest accessory!

The one who loses something at the party and makes everyone look for it the next day

The one who’s passed out in a random spot and no one has the heart to move them but everyone checks on them to make sure they’re safe. When everyone’s turned in for the night, he is safely moved like the precious baby he is.

Beel:

The one who takes the longest to get drunk. You don’t know if it’s because of his build or how much he ate to offset the alcohol

Unofficial baby sitter of the group. Pays special attention to everyone but Belphie, Asmo, and Levi in particular.

Not super loud. Just vibes and enjoys time with his family.

He’ll participate in the party activities because he does have that competitive streak but he’s not as invested in it as Mammon. If he wins at least once he’s proved his point and is on to something else

Surprsingly, #3 to ‘you might have to chase him and make him put his clothes on’. Drunk Beel is convinced he’ll get over the alcohol faster with less clothes because of temperature regulation and something that doesn’t really make sense because he’s slurring

Will drink more if Belphie is nearby or if he can hold onto Belphie. Taking care of Belphie and knowing he’s okay (in a tactile way) makes him a little more carefree.

Doesn’t really confess like the other bros but he’s the one no one can really hear talking because his purr takes over everything. His purrs are so loud and deep! Big boy is truly happy

Drunk Beel is affectionate as ever and this is where you learn that demons can express affection by licking people. Most of the bros end up with a Simba-style mohawk. It’s just one lick but Beel’s got a long tongue and it fucks with hair real good.

Will jump in for a song or two if karaoke is a thing at the party. A really good singer but wouldn’t do it unless he had a decent amount of alcohol in him.

He’s the type to trip over stuff trying to help clean up. If he falls down he says he’s just ‘taking a break’ and will ‘help in a minute’. Might not get up again.

Once Beel lays down, Belphie, Satan, and Levi drunk crawl/stumble/slither over to him for warmth. This is how the cuddle pile starts.

When he lays down, if you get anywhere near him, he’s begging you to lay down with him. Wants to whisper little compliments and lovely things. A big sap. Handsy but will definitely know when to lay off and will listen if you get uncomfortable.

Belphie:

Honestly, doesn’t really drink. He’s more interested in the nap.

His biggest motivation is to get the others drunk so everyone’s quiet and he can sleep. Definitely wants Lucifer blackmail.

He’ll have a few things but he prefers a lot of something mild versus a mix or a few shots of something super potent

Will try the funnel drink challenge.

The third enticer. He wants to work everyone up (Lucifer especially) and get the booze going.

Borrows off of Beel’s body mass and ability to handle alcohol here and there, but it all catches up with him eventually

The type to have really diluted drinks because he’s already sleepy by nature and doesn’t want to faceplant with a shot glass.

Will slow dance with Asmo. When Asmo starts to struggle with his weight as Belphie gets cozy and sleepy, Beel steps in and you just see the twins purring and warbling to each other as Beel just scoops him up and lets him sit on his hip like a toddler.

Another one who wants to slither into your lap and take all your attention.

The type to do random shit like boop your nose and giggle about it.

The one who doesn’t want anyone else to touch you. If he’s laying on you then the others need to leave you alone. It’s not hard to understand!

#Obey me!#Obey me! x reader #Lucifer x Reader #Mammon x Reader #Leviathan x Reader #Levi x Reader #Satan x Reader #Asmodeus x Reader #Asmo x reader #Beel x Reader #Beelzebub x Reader #Belphie x Reader #Belphegor x Reader

280 notes · View notes

mrs-gucci · 4 years ago

Text

Subliminal Pleasures {anesthesiologist!Kylo Ren x Reader}

author’s notes: hellooo! thanks to my good friend @safarigirlsp, I finally wrote my first darkfic. thanks for ruining me a little bit, Shannon! ;) I’ll warn you now, this is honestly the darkest thing I’ve ever written before, and at first I was a little nervous, but I’m surprisingly pleased with how it turned out. and hey, it’s called fanFICTION for a reason, right?

**THIS IS A DARKFIC THAT CONTAINS DARK THEMES/CONTENT!! please read the warnings and tw’s before proceeding!!**

warnings: smut. non-existent medical practice ethics. kylo’s a bad doctor, but damn, he looks good doing it. mentions of a medical procedure. some fingering. light dirty talk. masturbation. praise.

tw’s: noncon (but it’s not unpleasant, if that makes sense?). somnophilia.

word count: a touch over 2k

When you came into the hospital today for your dental surgery, no makeup and clad in baggy sweats, you weren’t prepared to meet anyone even remotely interesting or attractive, much less the anesthesiologist.

And, when he walked into the room, your heart immediately skipped a beat, maybe even two.

He was one of the most handsome men you’d ever seen before. Handsome seemed like an insult and injustice to his beauty when it came to the broad, raven-haired god. He wore a very stern expression as he sat over in the corner of the room in a stool much too small for his great size, gathering his tools.

“Hmm,” His eyes scan the file. “Miss Y/N?”

You nod over at him.

“That’s me.”

He turns back to preparing himself for surgery. “I’m Dr. Ren, the anesthesiologist.”

“Nice to meet you, Dr. Ren.”

A silence stretched between the two of you, the only sounds coming from his movements or your adjusting positions on the paper-covered seat. Then, he speaks again, voice even deeper and somewhat huskier than before. It sent a shiver down your spine.

“Have you ever previously been put under for a medical procedure, or otherwise?”

“I have.” You reply. “Although I didn’t think that I’d need it for this type of procedure?”

He turns around in the stool, a small smirk on his expression.

“Would you like to be awake when your teeth are hammered into pieces and pulled from your mouth?”

Normally, you would’ve laughed at this joking question, but his delivery and sinister demeanor chilled you to the bone. “N-No, not really.”

“Then you’ll be put under.” He simply states, pulling on a pair of latex gloves before handing you a fabric gown. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Strip and put this on. The snaps should be on your left shoulder, otherwise you’ve put it on incorrectly.”

Looking into his eyes takes your breath away, out of captivation or a bit of fear, you were unsure. He holds onto the gown a bit too long before releasing his grip, eyes lingering over your face before walking out of the room with commanding footsteps.

Despite his chilling intensity and seemingly emotionless demeanor, you still found yourself incredibly attracted to him. There was something...magnetic about him, like the mysterious aura surrounding him draws you in. The warm tingle between your thighs was undeniable as you stood and removed your clothes, tucking them in your bag off to the side before slipping the gown on over your mostly nude body.

Dr. Ren comes back in as soon as you lay back on the chair once again, his timing impeccable. He puts on a surgical mask and rolls the equipment over on a small cart, parking it next to your head.

“We’ll put you under now.”

“W-What?” Your eyes widen. “But the doctor hasn’t even come in yet.”

He glares down at you.

“Must I remind you who the medical professional in the room is?”

“No, sir.” You shake your head, lips pursing as your eyes dart away.

The mask is placed over your nose and mouth.

“Breathe in and out deeply, count to ten.”

Your eyelids grow heavy almost immediately as you begin taking deep breaths, letting the invisible medication into your lungs.

“One...two...three...four...five...s-six...sev-seven...eigh...t...”

Kylo grins when you’re finally under, body limp as you sleep peacefully under his influence. He loved his job, loved having complete control over someone’s consciousness, loved having the power between life and death.

His cock hardens in his pants as he reclines the chair so that you’re now laying flat. You don’t move a muscle, and he quickly removes his latex gloves along with his mask, tossing them into the bin.

He’s never had a patient like you before, so beautiful, so docile and obedient, so...seemingly innocent. He wants nothing more and would take great pleasure in absolutely ruining you, turning you into his pretty little slut.

The doctor wasn’t even here yet, as you were his first surgery patient today, but Kylo knew without doubt that he needed time alone with you. He needed to have his way with you.

With one last flicker to the locked door, he brings his hand down beneath his trousers and wraps it around his hardened cock, groaning under his breath with the first pump. Your vitals are stable as his other hand begins popping the snaps of your medical gown.

He pulls it open and lets it hang down over the side of the table, exposing your body to him. All you’re wearing is your undergarments, and yet, Kylo’s length pulses in his hand at the sight. You’re truly a sight to behold, even with your intimate areas covered.

You squirm just a bit when the doctor’s large hand grazes over your ankle, but he knows he won’t wake you, not completely anyways. His hand trails up over your calf, then over your thigh, climbing until he reaches the underwire of your flimsy bra.

There’s not enough time to remove it, to expose your pebbled nipples to his hungry gaze, but he spreads his large hand over the mound, squeezing it gently. In your unconscious state, your back arches slightly and a soft sigh escapes your lips under his touch.

His hand pumps his cock faster as he bends down and presses a few kisses to the fabric over your nipple, walking around to give your other breast a similar treatment. Then, he walks to the foot of the table and mounts it, kneeling between your legs.

Both his hands spread out on your inner thighs, gently spreading them apart before tracing his thick, calloused digits across the crotch of your panties. You squirm again, hips subconsciously rocking up to meet his touch.

“That’s a good girl.” He purrs, rubbing small, lazy circles on your clit over the fabric. “Even like this, you still want it. You just can’t help yourself, can you?”

Kylo dips his fingers beneath your panties, cock twitching under his pants as his fingers swipe through the considerable amount of slick there. He finds your clit, rubbing it gently, enough to stimulate but not disturb you.

“Look at this...you’re absolutely soaked for me, little dove, and you don’t even know it.”

His hands grip your hips and lift them up as he slides your panties down, revealing the glistening treasure that lay below. He lines a single finger up with your entrance, then pushes it in, growling softly when your cunt clenches.

You stir just a bit, but not nearly enough for him to worry. He lifts his digit up inside you, enjoying the way your hips suddenly jerk as he rubs over the spongy surface of that special spot. Then, he pushes another one of his fingers inside of you, hearing a soft whine from beneath the mask.

He begins fingering you gently, just enough to prepare you, making sure not to force you back into consciousness. Soon, it became too much for him, and he pulled his digits out gently, observing the slick that coats the two fingers. He brings them up and takes a quick whiff, cupping his clothed erection and squeezing as his tongue pokes out to lick some of the substance off, hips bucking forward at the semi-sweet taste.

“Oh, little one, you’ve got such a tight little pussy. And you taste so good, just as I knew you would.”

The young doctor wipes the rest off on the paper below, then makes quick work of his pants and underwear, pulling them down just enough to expose his aching length. It bobs in response, desperate for attention as another bead of precum forms over the slit. His finger spreads the semi-transparent substance over the fat mushroom head, groaning breathily.

After giving his thick length a few strokes, he brings it down to rub through your slick. They buck forward out of instinct when he slides over your puckered entrance, wanting so badly to be buried inside of you.

His body leans over you, one hand next to your head as the other lines himself up, aiding in direction as he presses his hips forward, burying himself inside your wet welcoming walls. His eyes flutter shut as he bottoms out, but quickly snap open when you moan.

Luckily, you hadn’t woken up with his intrusion, and he takes a long sigh of relief before drawing back and pressing forward again slowly. The table trembles on its legs, bolts creaking as he fucks you steadily but gently, extra cautious of your vital signs and level of alertness.

Part of him wishes that you were awake, that you could see what he was doing to you and enjoy him, but the feeling of knowing that even unconsciously, you were still wet and tight for him was one too good to resist. It was all so arousing; an ego feeding greater than his regular days work could ever offer.

Your face scrunches in pleasure with more rolls of his hips, moaning and whimpering each time he buries himself inside you. They’re all so gentle, your noises, and Kylo finds himself lost in each quiet breath.

“Good girl--fuck--oh, good girl.” He says quietly, using every bit of his willpower to keep from pounding into you. “Such a good little cunt, taking my cock so well.”

You tighten around him, then, and he growls, fists clenching next to your head. His teeth grind together as he picks up the pace ever so slightly, feeling his climax approaching quickly.

“T-That’s it, that’s a good girl.”

His head hangs, eyes squeezing shut. He’s close, now, and his own noises get a little bit louder and a lot more frequent as his balls begin to pull and tighten.

“Gonna cum, little dove, you’re g-gonna make me cum so hard with this tight pussy.”

Unbenounced to him, you wake up slightly, eyes opening just a crack. You see him on top of you, body flexing with each thrust, and you feel the obvious intrusion in your lower half. You’re surprisingly not bothered by it, nor do you feel uncomfortable with it. Before you can think on it further, you slip back into the blackness.

He can’t cum inside you, he knows that, so just as he teeters on orgasm, he pulls out as gently as he can and drags his pulsing cock against your lower stomach as thick white ropes paint your soft skin.

“O-Oh y-yes...so good, d-dove.”

Kylo takes himself through orgasm and right into oversensitivity, pulling away and sitting up when this happens. His length softens, the extra skin re-covering his head as it does so. He tucks himself back into his pants, prepares a wet cloth and wipes the cum from your abdomen before pulling your panties back up over your used cunt.

His fingers quickly re-button your gown and he runs a quick hand through his hair before the doctor comes in, completely oblivious as to what’s just happened. Kylo greets him nonchalantly and takes his place off to the side as the doctor begins the surgery.

Your eyes flutter open lazily, grogginess hitting as you awaken a couple of hours later. Immediately, you feel the pain in your mouth, but more noticeably, you feel a certain ache in your lower half. You have no recollection of what you saw, as this memory is now trapped in your subconscious, but somehow you just sort of knew what’d happened.

You’re disgusted at yourself that you don’t mind the idea, that you don’t feel violated or like you’d been assaulted. You should feel those things, he did those things without your express permission, but...you don’t.

In fact, you feel as if your feelings for the mysterious doctor have grown even stronger. The gaping hole he’d left, the orgasm he’d robbed you of, just ached to be fulfilled. It was an itch you couldn’t scratch, sensations you couldn’t recreate on your own.

Only he could satisfy this desire, this need.

And, as you sit up slowly and the doctor debriefs you, you know that you must fulfill this new destiny: Find Dr. Ren and make him yours once again.

#adamdriverwriter #adam driver #adam driver character #adam driver smut #kylo ren darkfic #kylo ren #darkfic #tw: noncon #tw: somnophilia #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x you #kylo ren x reader smut #anesthesiologist!Kylo Ren #dr. kylo ren au #dr. ren

363 notes · View notes

yslkook · 4 years ago

Text

just like magic

pairing: house husband!seokjin x wife!reader summary: some moments of bliss with you and seokjin in your married life together. word count: 11k warnings: cursing, alcohol, smut (oral f receiving, penetrative sex), suggestive content a/n: some of these moments are inspired by ariana grande songs, enjoy <3 ty to @cutechim for reading some of this!! AND THANK YOU TO HANA FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL BANNER IM IN TEARS

ONE. pov.

The faint golden glow of the early morning barely touches Jin as he rolls over to press his lips to your shoulder, where your sleep shirt has slipped down a bit. You’re still seemingly asleep, soft snores leaving your parted lips and your alarm hasn’t gone off yet.

It always goes off at the most opportune times.

He presses himself closer to you, molding his hips to yours and shoving his hand up your faded purple sleep shirt to palm your tits. You sigh happily, pushing back against him in your sleep.

Jin knows you’re close to waking up, if the quickness of your breaths is any indicator. You smile with your eyes still closed as he drops feathery kisses to your cheeks, your chin, your neck.

“I know you’re awake,” Jin rolls his eyes, his voice hoarse from just waking up.

“I’m sleeping,” You mumble, turning towards him and wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders. Jin only laughs airily, dipping his head for a kiss to your lips.

“Wake up then,” Jin breathes. You can feel his half hard cock tucked in his boxers against your thigh already and you hum. It only takes a simple brush for you to buck your hips towards him, centering your bare core to his cock.

You hadn’t bothered with panties last night, after he had fucked you back to sleep. Despite the faint ache in between your legs, you wrap your leg around his hip and pull him on top of you.

“Thought you were sleeping.”

“My annoying husband woke me up,” You say, eyes still slick with sleep. Arousal rolls in your belly when he grinds into you lightly.

The pink haze of sleep begins to slip away as Jin kisses you deeply, with more urgency than before.

“Had to give you something to remember me by today,” Jin whispers, “It’s Monday, after all.”

“Don’t remind me,” You groan, rubbing your eyes, “This week is gonna fucking suck, baby.”

“Shh,” Jin says, pressing a finger to your lips, “We have, like, thirty minutes before you have to start getting ready for work.”

“Better make it worth it, babes,” You laugh and he squeezes your thighs. He raises his head, looking at you like you’re a meal and like you’re his queen.

His lips are heated against your skin, your giggles turning into soft moans of his name quickly.

“Jin, baby,” You say, voice sounding muffled to your ears, “I have to be at work early-”

“Can’t even appreciate my wifey’s sexy bod,” Jin grumbles and you swat his shoulder, “God, I could eat this pussy out all day-”

“Saying sexy like that isn’t sexy,” You complain, “And you’re not doing anything, you’re just breathing on my clit- gonna give me an embolism-”

One look from Jin, a kiss and a few rolls of your clit with his thumb has you wet against his fingers- the man, your husband of three years, knows your body even better than you know yourself. He knows you better than you know yourself.

His mouth slips over your inner thighs, his hands tight around your hips to hold you in place as you buck your hips impatiently for friction. Jin is so handsome in the morning (well, he’s handsome all the time), but something about the puffiness of his eyes and the pink of his cheeks from sleep always has your pussy fluttering.

Your husband of three years, and your boyfriend for six years before that- he always has your pussy fluttering and your heart soaring.

Jin swipes his fingers across your glossy folds, glistening just for him, and presses his mouth to your sensitive clit. His hands wander, squeezing your tits fondly, roaming over the hidden bites from the prior night easily. You widen your legs and carelessly throw them over his shoulders.

“Jin,” You whine, “I want you, stop teasing me-”

“‘M not,” Jin says, voice dripping with thick, honeyed desire, “I just, you know how much I love this pussy.”

“Yeah, you love my pussy more than you love me,” You tease, “Please-”

You cut yourself off with a sharp moan as his tongue flicks over your clit teasingly. Hooded eyes meet his dark eyes as his tongue delves deeper into your wet folds, and your thighs quiver almost instantly once he rubs your clit with his thumb.

You’re so sensitive. It’s how he likes you best. (He likes you sensitive, and he likes you in that tight dark green dress you’re planning on wearing to work today.)

Jin loves you in the morning, with the taste of the night before in between your legs. You end the night with him and start your morning with him- it’s all he wants. All he wants is something to remember him by during your inevitably busy days.

“I love you,” Jin mumbles, “My gorgeous girl. Sound so pretty when you cum in my mouth…”

He loves teasing you, loves making you beg for him. And this time is no different. A string of curses fly from your mouth, your back arching when you beg his name in broken noises.

“Good morning to me,” You giggle lazily, pulling him in for a kiss.

“Good morning to my pretty wifey,” Jin hums and you push him on his back, straddling his hips.

Yeah. It’s your favorite type of morning.

TWO. love language.

“It’s Friday,” Jin mumbles, wrapping his arms around your waist as you pour two mugs of coffee for you both, “The weather outside is awful. You’ll get blown away, just stay home baby.”

You’re already dressed and ready to go into the office, eyeliner sharp and lipstick perfectly placed, but one look outside of the window has you reconsidering. You had already decided that you’d stay home and work from the dining table or the couch but you enjoy seeing Jin grovel a little too much. So you let him.

“When did you become a meteorologist,” You mutter, threading your fingers through his and squeezing.

Your calendar today is quite light. Only a few meetings, a few deliverables for you to provide. You’ve already decided that you’ll stay home and shower Jin with at much attention as you can, but he pouts against your neck.

“That’s the dream.”

“I thought the dream was being my husband.”

“That comes in a close second to being a meteorologist, and I think there’s a one hundred percent chance that you’ll be staying home today and giving me cuddles.”

You roll your eyes at him but can’t resist the smile that tugs at your lips. Turning in his arms and handing him a cup of coffee with a dash of milk and caramel coffee creamer, you lean forward for a kiss.

A crack of thunder sends you jumping in his arms and yelping, nearly dropping the mug to the floor but Jin grabs it before you can.

He knows you better than you know yourself.

“I’m staying home, baby,” You say, “It’s not worth it. And I have a light day today so maybe…” You trail a finger over the thick vein in his neck and over his chest with a sly grin.

“So maybe we can take a nap together at noon,” Jin finishes your sentence for you with a gleam in his eyes.

“...Or that.”

Working from the dining table whenever you worked from home made you feel close to Jin. He’d flit around you, pecking you with kisses or a squeeze of your shoulder whenever he passed you, or telling you to get up off your ass if you’ve been sitting too long. But mostly, you just enjoy his company and working from home always puts you in a good mood.

Even if you have a designated office in the cozy townhouse you’ve been living with Jin in for two years now, you prefer the dining table for work from home days. You do use the office, if you really need to. But those days are few and far between.

You have about an hour before you have to log in, so you decide to make breakfast for Jin while he waters the plants upstairs. Usually, it’s Jin making you breakfast- he always makes it a point to have breakfast with you before you leave for work.

You’re happy to have a man who doesn’t resent you for being the breadwinner, as your family and friends had cautioned you of years ago. You had scoffed at them then, as if they knew anything about you or Jin. He’s happy to support you and be your biggest cheerleader and you’re his biggest cheerleader.

You had met in college, studying the same discipline and where you were passionate about it, he wasn’t. He had such a passion for life that was refreshing, and he brought out the best in you. Jin made you laugh, he made you love, and you both just worked so well together. Even on your off days, you both just knew each other.

You cut your avocado egg toasts in half and pour a glass of mango pineapple smoothie (Jin’s favorite) for both of you.

“Hey, honey,” You call when he pokes his head around the corner and see his fluffy purple house slippers, “Breakfast is ready.”

Jin kisses you in appreciation, pulling you closer to him by your waist. “Girl of my dreams making me breakfast, huh?”

“Shut up,” You swat his chest, “It’s too gross to take Bomi out, right?”

“Yeah, my baby is still sleeping in her bed,” Jin says, yelping when you pinch his waist.

“Your baby?”

“Oh, fine, our baby,” Jin rolls his eyes, “Was gonna take her to see Jimin and baby Jia today. Fucking storm…”

“Maybe they can come over this weekend, when it passes,” You hum, “We can make those lemon bars she likes.”

“We can do brunch with them? Have some margaritas and mojitos,” Jin suggests, tugging your hand to join him at the breakfast bar.

“I’m sure Sunmi would appreciate that,” You reply.

You both look up to the ceiling when you hear Bomi trotting out of her bed and at the top of the stairs. You stand at the bottom with open arms and she bounds towards you eagerly, nuzzling you with her soft nose and licking you everywhere.

“Hi Bomi, baby,” You coo and scratch her head, “It’s raining outside, we can’t go to the dog park today. You can hang out with Mommy and Daddy inside.”

She only looks at you with big, light brown eyes and pants in excitement. She slides out of your arms and stands in front of Jin, only to jump and cuddle into his lap.

“You’re getting so big, Bomi,” Jin whispers, “Gonna tackle me over someday.”

“She could take you,” You tease and sit next to him, tickling Bomi’s jaw. You put some dog food into her bowl (that Jin made himself in his ceramics class that he took on a whim and also painted) and pour some water for her in her water bowl.

Bomi immediately jumps off to have her own breakfast. You can vividly remember when you and Jin had both fallen in love with her at the adoption shelter, almost three years ago now. She had seemed so scared, and you and Jin had approached her cautiously. You knew she had an instant connection (like you had, years ago) with Jin when she touched his paw and saw stars in his eyes.

You brought her home less than two weeks later, and she’s been your baby ever since.

Jin nudges your foot playfully. You nudge him back.

“Got a long day today?” Jin murmurs after a bite of avocado toast. You wipe away stray avocado with your thumb and lick it for yourself.

“Nah, should be done around two or three,” You reply. Jin beams at you and kisses your temple.

“Don’t let me keep you,” You say airily, “I know you like working out in the mornings. I put protein powder in your smoothie.”

He rolls his eyes. As if you could come in the way of his meticulously crafted routine. Today, he was planning on working on the story he was writing, working out, and making lunch and dinner. He would be doing a little more, if the weather wasn’t working against him.

Jin loves the flexibility of his life, honestly. He loves being able to do the things he loves, while you do the things you love. And if that means him not technically having a stable job, and you bringing home most of the money, that’s more than okay with him. Besides, you’ve both come a long way from any insecurities that that might have brought.

He loves that all of his joy for life also comes with you by his side.

That’s what over ten years of being together will do.

***

“Baby,” You call from the couch, “Come here. I miss you.”

Your meetings for the day have finished and you have finished the bulk of your work, leaving the majority of your day free to finish up loose ends and send a few emails. This week has been filled with many early mornings and late nights, leaving both you and Jin yearning for the weekend and for more time with each other.

He comes to you with wide, puppy eyes and you beckon him forward. “Sit with me, honey. Please?”

Jin leans towards you, chin on your shoulder and chest to your back as he watches you type away. Your shoulders instantly relax with his touch and the comforting scent of his rain scented shower gel. He’s still warm from his shower and he wraps an arm around your waist.

It’s your favorite place to be.

“Is that woman being annoying,” Jin asks, “The one on your project for that document change you gotta make?”

“Nah, she’s been out this week,” You mutter, “I gotta have a heart to heart with her next week and tell her to stop railroading me every chance she gets.”

“Damn you’re so sexy when you get all mean,” Jin shivers dramatically and you laugh against him.

“‘M not mean,” You reply absently, clicking ‘send’ on an email and messaging your boss to have a good weekend. Bomi has woken up from her nap and joins you both on the couch, curling in your lap and dwarfing over your laptop screen.

“Bomi,” You chuckle and rub her back, “Silly girl.”

She only looks at you with wide eyes, happy that she has your attention. It reminds you a little bit of how Jin looks at you when he catches your eye. Jin leans over and takes Bomi from you and cuddles here in his lap. He turns around so his back is pressed against yours and his legs outstretched the other way. The warmth of him against you is welcome as you finish up your emails and sign off for the weekend as quickly as you can.

“Okay,” You murmur, “‘M done with work. Wanna take Bomi out for a walk with me? Looks like the storm stopped for the most part…”

“Sure, maybe I’ll finally get my kiss in the rain.”

“Yeah, and we’ll both get pneumonia,” You chastise him, patting his cheek, “Has Jungkook been getting in your head lately? Mr. Romance over there.”

Jin gasps in offense, “More like I’m getting in his head. Everything he knows about romance is because of me.”

“Okay, baby. Whatever you say.”

THREE. honeymoon avenue.

“I have two weeks of vacation left,” You muse, running your hands through Jin’s hair, “We should go to Phuket. We’ve been meaning to for years…”

“They say November is the best time,” Jin replies, peering over to the computer. Where you’re currently looking up flights and hotels to Phuket.

“November is next week, Seokjin.”

“Okay, and? Spontaneity is the backbone of long-term relationships,” Jin says matter-of-factly and dodges the inevitable swat to his shoulder.

“I thought trust, love, and respect is the backbone of long-term relationships.”

“That too. But really, it’s the fact that my hot wife wants to take me, her even hotter husband on a romantic getaway-”

“We should go,” You murmur, already thinking about the clear, pristine waters and white, sandy beaches. Not to mention the food…

“Baby, will you text in the groupchat? Ask if anyone wants to go,” You say, bookmarking beaches and places to sightsee. You already have a growing list of hotels and AirBnb’s that you want to investigate further.

“Not everyone is as spontaneous as us, sweets,” Jin says, “Peasants.”

***

In the end, only you and Jin end up deciding to go to Phuket. It was too last minute for your friends, especially for your friends with young children.

It’s just you and Jin in Phuket for a week. You had decided to leave Bomi with the dog sitter, as she hated flying and was terrified of it.

By the time you both get settled in your Airbnb, you’re both bouncing off the walls with pent up energy.

Phuket isn’t ready for the storm that was you and Seokjin.

***

“Sweets, you ready for dinner?” Jin calls from the bedroom, leaning against the headboard of the bed.

“Five minutes!”

Jin rolls his eyes fondly, very well acquainted with how long it takes for you to get ready sometimes. Your eyeliner had to be just perfect, lipstick complimenting your eye makeup, your jewelry a statement but not obnoxious… The list goes on.

He scrolls on his phone impatiently, looking at the photos the dog-sitter sent of Bomi and then he lets his friends know what their plans were. They all excitedly ask for pictures and updates.

He’s already gotten quite tan since being here, and it’s only been four and a half days. Though most of the time during those four and a half days was spent at the beach, hiking, exploring, or sipping drinks at the beach bar.

Bliss. Seeing the way the sun glows on your skin and the way you beam at him without the stress of deadlines and responsibilities is a sight he’ll never tire of. If his photo album on his phone is anything to go by, it’s filled with candids of you and photos of you sprinkled in with the scenery and the food you’ve both been eating.

You’ll try anything once, and Jin will, too.

Five minutes go by.

“I’m hungry,” Jin whines, finally getting up and leaning against the doorframe. His throat goes a little dry when you look at him with wide eyes, in the middle of applying your false lashes.

“Two minutes, baby, I promise-”

“I should eat you instead,” Jin says, eyes raking over your figure brazenly. You’re wearing a tight red dress with thin straps, and a thin necklace that he had bought you for your most recent birthday sits around your neck.

“What a line,” You roll your eyes.

“It worked, didn’t it?” Jin says cockily, “Got you forever and always.”

“How romantic.”

***

You can’t deny the butterflies that you still get around Jin, especially when he looks at you like that over dinner. Like you’re the only thing in the entire world when his eyes are molten gold for you and you only.

You won’t deny that the way he calls you his wife in that low, raspy voice sends a rush of something curling in your belly. You’ll blame it on the third glass of sam song that you’ve had. Jin himself is on his third glass of mekhong. His ears and the apples of his cheeks are flushed red from the alcohol.

You want to pounce on him. Who does Seokjin think he is? His lips are bitten and a little red from chapstick. And from you kissing him before arriving at the restaurant for your reservation. The top two buttons of his shirt are undone, giving you a few of his collarbones and the necklace around his neck.

Your face feels hot. It’s probably the alcohol. Jin knows that look on your face. The one where you’re impatient. The one where you just want him and want him and want him.

He’ll take care of you. He always will.

***

“My pretty wifey,” Jin murmurs, face buried in your neck as he rocks into you slowly. The hot, slow glide of his cock burns in the best way, leaving you sated and wanting more at the same time.

“My gorgeous girl,” Jin says and you whine, clenching around him. Your legs wrap around his waist and he groans, dotting your skin in kisses. He’s all around you, coating you in a pillowy haze. Your lipstick stains his lips, fading on his neck and his glistening chest.

“Can’t believe you did this for me,” He groans, fingers ghosting over your bare, sensitive pussy. (Yes, you’d gotten a wax before vacation. As it had been a while, and you wanted to see Jin’s reaction.)

“Fuck, Jin,” You sigh. You feel a little dazed, a little airy. “Feel so fucking good. You’re so… big, always feel so fucking good.”

Your clothes are strewn about in various corners of the Airbnb, both of you too hasty and impatient to get your hands on each other after dinner and a short walk on the beach. Honestly, you would’ve fucked him out on the beach if he allowed you to. The way the moonlight hit his eyes just made your brain shut off and think lewd thoughts of only him.

You’ve cum at least three times now, and Jin shows no signs of stopping. Truthfully, neither do you- you can keep up with him and he can keep up with you. It’s part of what’s made you both work so well.

“Good, baby?” Jin mumbles. He doesn’t give you time to answer before gathering you in his arms and sitting you up. Your tits are plastered to his chest, and you can’t help but snake a hand in between you both and playfully twist his nipple. The angle of his cock in you is deeper than before and you struggle to stave off the need to cum.

“Yeah,” You say faintly.

“What’s on the agenda tomorrow?” Jin asks quietly, slowing and stopping his movements. You whine again when he stops moving inside of you.

“Shh, baby,” Jin says, “Just wanna be with you like this. What’re we doing tomorrow?”

“Seriously?” You grunt, trying to get some friction on your clit but he halts your movements with a large hand on your hips. You pinch his nipple hard and he yelps. “You wanna talk about our itinerary tomorrow when you’re balls deep inside me-”

“Yeah, I gotta plan ahead,” Jin snorts.

“Um,” You mumble, trying to gain your wits about you, “The market. A-and the distillery, and then…”

“And then?” Jin purrs in your ear, nipping your earlobe.

“And then the elephant sanctuary. Maybe Bangla road a-at night,” You reply, pressing your face into his neck.

“Good girl,” Jin breathes and you whimper into his skin, “My smart, wonderful, amazing wifey-”

“Wanna be your wife forever,” The words slip out of your mouth without you meaning to, as they usually do. Something about Jin calling you his wife like that sets you ablaze, makes you possessive for a man already yours.

“Good thing we’re married then, huh?” Jin jokes and you let out a breathless laugh.

“Baby,” You exhale, “Wanna cum. Wanna cum so bad, wanna feel my hubby’s cum-”

Jin groans into your neck, biting your clavicle lightly. “You’re so impatient,” He chides lightly.

“Will you move-”

“I told you to wait-”

“Fine, I’ll just,” You push him on his back roughly and press your palms to his chest and sigh happily when you finally get the friction you’re craving as you begin to bounce on his cock. Jin squeezes your hips, your tits and pulls you closer to him to mouth at your chest. He wraps a hand around your neck lightly as you try to keep your rhythm steady and your breaths stutter.

You ignore the burn in your thighs in favor of clenching around his cock and focusing on how full you feel.

Jin’s eyes are hooded, zeroed in on you exactly how you like them to be. He can sense when you’re beginning to get tired, holding your hips tightly and taking control over to slam his hips into yours. He stays focused on the way your lips part in a delicious ‘o’ and he pulls your face close to his harshly to capture your lips in a bruising kiss. You whimper into his mouth as he slams into you, his hips pistoning and your voice growing louder and louder.

He circles your clit, moves the same hand to your lips and pushes his thumb into your mouth and you eagerly accept his finger. Spit coats his thumb and he hums in approval.

You cum abruptly and unexpectedly, pleasure washing over you in waves at the simple clasp of his big hand around your neck. His cock is still throbbing inside you, pace relentless. Tears gather around your waterline from oversensitivity but you murmur for him to cum, you tell him how much you want his cum in you and he moans your name in your ear before emptying himself in your pussy.

“I love you,” You mumble, wrapping your arms around his neck and gripping his necklace lightly. He wipes any stray moisture from your eyes and kisses your forehead.

“I love you,” Jin says hoarsely. Jin tries to pull out but you protest, wanting to lay with him for a few moments longer. At some point, you end up dozing off in his arms and Jin cleans you both up before tucking you into bed.

You feel the faint brush of his lips on your forehead and bury yourself into his side before you tumble into sleep.

FOUR. long days.

you.

You woke up this morning with a migraine (truly one of the worst ways to wake up). Despite taking medicine after it became too excruciating to bear and increasing your water intake, your head was still throbbing nearly twelve hours later.

Not to mention, everyone at work was grating on your last nerve. It seemed that everyone wanted a piece of you today and you were getting pulled in a million different directions. You didn’t even have time to do the things you needed to do.

The only people who you were able to speak to without feeling like ripping your hair out were Namjoon and Jungkook. Even they told you that you should probably go home early, since it looked like you were about to pass out. Namjoon offered to call Jin to pick you up, but you refused quickly.

Being in your office was making your migraine worse. So by 3 PM, you pack your stuff up and head out without bidding anybody goodbye.

Your feet ache, your head is pounding, you’re hungry and you could absolutely scream. You rest your forehead on your steering wheel before pulling out of your parking space with bleary eyes. Your suit feels stifling today, and it feels difficult to breathe.

You want Jin, you’ve wanted Jin since you arrived at work and everything went to shit. But you can’t bear to listen to a single sound over your speakers so you just wait until you get home.

***

“You’re home early,” Jin says, looking up at you from his glasses at the dining table. You say nothing, only dropping your backpack to the floor and climbing into his lap tiredly.

“Oh, honey,” Jin murmurs, kissing your hair and rubbing your shoulder. Your eyes are closed and you hum into his neck.

“My head hurts a lot,” You say quietly into his skin, “Today sucked.”

“Let’s go get you changed, honey.”

Bomi follows both of you upstairs, sitting in her bed as Jin changes you out of your work clothes. He starts with your suit jacket, peeling it off easily and hanging it back up in your closet. Then, he pulls your button-up from the waistband of your pants and unbuttons your shirt slowly, pressing a soft kiss to your skin with each button that comes undone. Jin easily unclasps your bra, letting his fingers trail over your skin, before pulling one of his shirts over your head.

You’re already feeling a little better.

Jin pushes your pants down your legs and taps the back of your thighs so he can pull your favorite sweatpants up. “Gotta take your makeup off, baby.”

You make a noise of acknowledgment and allow him to take you to the bathroom, where he gently washes away the remnants of your day (after he washes his hands).

After he moisturizes your face with a tender touch, he pulls you into his chest for a long hug. His hands roam your back from under his shirt and you sigh.

“Can we nap,” You mumble, eyes already closing.

Jin nods and carries you to bed, making sure to draw the curtains closed to envelope you both in as much darkness as possible. He tucks you in before stepping away for a minute, but you’re already being beckoned towards sleep. “Baby, take medicine,” Jin murmurs, holding two pills and a glass of water in his hand. You sit up with a wince and do as he says.

“Good girl,” Jin says, cradling your cheek and crawling into bed with you. Jin turns on his side and drapes himself over you. He smiles when you sigh contentedly and he kisses your hair, coaxing you further into sleep with a few rubs of your belly.

Your soft snores fill the room and Jin only hopes you wake up feeling a little better.

***

jin.

Jin can’t seem to knock this metaphorical wall down, no matter how much coffee he chugs, how long he sits in the home office, how long he stares at his laptop screen.

Writer’s block. What a pain.

He runs a hand through his already messy hair and catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He looks like shit- bags under his eyes, fatigued, zapped of energy and motivation.

But he has a deadline coming up in the next few months and he has absolutely nothing to show for it. He had had success with his first short story, but he’d called it beginner’s luck. Then came the second story, and the third.

And now here he is. Riding on the coattails of his initial success. Maybe this is how far his mild talent would take him. Maybe this is all he can put out into the world.

It was nice while it lasted.

Jin huffs loudly. He knows you’d scold him for thinking such thoughts, for wallowing like this. You’d kiss him, murmur words of comfort and tell him that you believe in him.

He wants you, he wants you to hold him. A sudden wave of sadness and inadequacy washes over him.

Jin will just wait for you to get home. Until then, he’ll lay in bed and wallow in self-pity. Just how he likes.

***

You know something is wrong when Jin doesn’t reply to your texts after a few hours or send you a silly meme, or a corny joke as he usually does. He could be busy, but you just have a feeling.

So when you come home to see Bomi and Jin cuddled in bed, you only softly sigh. Jin rarely takes afternoon naps- it’s clear he’s upset.

“Jin?” You murmur, “Everything okay, baby?” You kneel on the floor of the side of the bed he’s facing and push his hair from his eyes. Jin blearily looks at you with fatigue in the lines of his face.

“No,” He says, voice muffled, “Lay with me? But take your outside clothes off.”

You bite your tongue, wanting to say “when have I ever laid in bed in outside clothes” but you refrain. You quickly wash up and change into comfy clothes and slide into bed to wrap your arms around his waist. You press your nose to his neck and drop a kiss there.

Jin relaxes immediately in your hold, finally able to get his mind to stop going a million miles a minute. Your hands are soothing and gentle around him, you wrap your legs around his to cocoon him in your embrace.

“Wanna talk about it, baby?” You murmur, dropping a kiss to the back of his ear.

“I just,” Jin sighs, “This story. I feel so stuck, and they want the first draft in a few weeks and I have nothing- I mean, what if this is it. This is all I could put out into the universe and… I felt like I was finally doing something great, something I loved. I felt like I was finally getting started-”

“Oh, sweetheart,” You coo, “It’s scary doing something amazing and feeling like you can’t replicate the same success. Or the same quality end result. Maybe you just need a break, honey. For a few days. And I’m sure if you ask for an extension, they’ll understand. You have so many words in this pretty head, baby. You have so many stories to tell.”

Jin turns in your arms, his eyes a little wet. You cup his cheek tenderly and he leans into your touch.

“You work so hard baby,” You murmur, “You’re so hard on yourself. Be patient with yourself.”

“I love you,” He mutters, pulling you in for a hug, “I love you. Even if you did wear outside clothes in bed, I love you.”

FIVE. nasa.

Falling in love with Seokjin came naturally- you had met him in one of your shared college classes in undergrad during your second year of college, and had become acquaintances that way. It had taken you longer to become real friends with him, but it hadn’t taken you long at all to realize how attracted you were to him.

You wanted him and he wanted you, as he drunkenly told you over shitty vodka shots at the bar that your mutual friends were celebrating their twenty-first birthdays at. He was so shy at the time, he still is sometimes, that you could understand how much it took for him to admit it to you. Whether it was out of intoxication or not. Of course, it had taken some time for you to get your shit together with each other. But the rest was history.

College sweethearts. You can still remember what it felt like in the beginning, how he made your heart grow ten sizes in your chest and made you feel like you were in the clouds. You can remember because you still feel it now, over ten years later. Give or take.

You remember your friends and your older cousins telling you that it wouldn’t work- that you were two very different people. You were too uptight, you didn’t take risks, you were not Seokjin’s type at all. Sure, maybe it seemed that way on paper. But the more you knew him and grew to love him, the more you felt like he was the missing piece of your puzzle.

You’ve long let go of the doubts of people around you. And it was even more bothersome that your own friends and family questioned your judgment. Because his friends and his family loved you. They sang your praises whether you were present or not, and his friends and family had slowly become your friends and family, too.

It made you happy beyond happy.

But there were some times when you and Jin were not on the same wavelength, and today was one of those days. You both fought here and there, like any couple did. But it had been a long time since you both fought like this.

You were both spending the day at the park with Bomi and then furniture shopping for a new coffee table. Jin had been inspired to redo the decor in the living room and you were basking in his inspiration.

But the morning had first started with you spilling your coffee and subsequently breaking your mug when it had slipped right out of your hands. You had then cut yourself on one of the sharper pieces after ensuring that Bomi was in her crate so she wouldn’t get hurt because of your stupidity-

Jin comes bounding down the stairs with panicked, wide eyes when he sees you pouting and holding a cloth to your hand. He looks down at the spilt coffee and the broken pieces of your mug and sighs.

You clean up the broken pieces with Jin and he checks your hands and feet afterwards. He helps you bandage your hand up, even though it’s a superficial cut. “Clumsy,” Jin snorts, “You’d lose your head if you didn’t have me.”

It had been such a small thing, but then a few other small things started adding up. Bomi peed on the rug before you had left for the park.

And to top it all off, Jin’s shoulder has been bothering him more than usual. His shoulder pain has been flaring up over the last few months, and despite your attempts to coax him into physical therapy or at least a doctor’s visit, he stubbornly refuses to. Something about it just being a part of getting older, or something.

Every time you try telling him to see a doctor, it ends in a minuscule fight and Jin shuts the conversation down. You can’t understand what the big deal is. Maybe there’s something more going on, something he’s not sharing with you.

This morning is one of those days that his shoulder is aching more than it usually does. You offer to drive to the park, but he grits his teeth and tells you that he can handle it.

You let it go for now.

At the park, Jin relaxes considerably, running around and playing with Bomi. There are some other dogs around so you and Jin let Bomi play with them, chatting with the other dog parents around you. Bomi is still getting used to being around other dogs, so you’re both happy to see her meshing well.

Bomi begins to tire herself out, curling at your feet and panting. Indicating that she’s tired and thirsty. Maybe a little hungry.

“Hi Bomi baby,” You coo, “Want some water and treats? Come, baby.”

“Wanna head out soon? We gotta check out the furniture store still,” Jin murmurs to you and you nod. He seems impatient, tapping his foot against the grass but you say nothing.

You rub his back fleetingly once Bomi finishes her treats and you carry her leash in your hand, your other hand in Jin’s. He’s tense, eyes narrowed in concentration and you think you know why. You think his shoulder is bothering him and he’s being stubborn about it.

You put Bomi in the backseat, stopping Jin from getting in the driver’s seat for a second. “Hey,” You mumble, taking your hands in his, “I’ll drive-”

“No, I’ll drive,” He says it with a note of finality and you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“I know your shoulder hurts, love,” You try to say as gently as you can, “Let me do it.”

“I’m fine,” Jin insists, stubbornness dripping from his tone, “Get in the car. I’m fine.”

You huff, rolling your eyes. The car ride is quiet, tension filling the spaces between you. You want to say something, you really do. But you don’t want to upset him further when he’s driving.

But then you see him wince and groan softly in pain with his hands on the steering wheel.

“Seokjin, pull over,” You say a little firmly. A little annoyed that he let it get this far.

“I can’t just pull over,” He hisses, “Besides, I’m fine, I’ll get us home-”

“We were supposed to go to the furniture store,” You roll your eyes, “But you’re right, pull over so I can drive us home. And I’m calling the doc once we get home-”

“No!” Jin exclaims, “I’m not fucking pulling over-”

“Why not? I’m literally telling you that I’ll drive! Baby, please-”

Jin rarely ever loses his patience with you, but today is just one of those days. “You should’ve fucking driven then,” He somehow has the audacity to say.

“You’re joking right? I told you multiple times I would drive,” You refrain from raising your voice, “You won’t call the doctor, you won’t see a physical therapist. What the fuck am I supposed to do?”

“Leave it alone! You’re supposed to fucking leave it alone,” Seokjin says, not holding back the irritation on his tongue. The hoops on his ears dangle and bounce when he looks at you quickly.

He ignores the hurt on your face and watches it transform into anger.

“Alright, I’ll just fucking leave it alone, since you’re doing such a great job of taking care of it yourself,” You mutter.

“Don’t- don’t scold me under your breath,” He says, more like yells, “A-and quit nagging me about it, fuck!”

The irritation in your belly vanishes quickly, hiding behind your hurting heart. You turn away from him, facing the passenger side window so he doesn’t see your eyes beginning to water.

Jin sighs, already realizing his error. You hate when anyone raises their voice at you, much less when it’s him. Shit. He has to fix this, but damn, you can be pushy when you want to be.

You sniffle.

“I’m sorry,” Jin says instantly, “Baby, I’m sorry I yelled.”

“Just drive, Seokjin,” You sigh, wiping your eyes.

So you both sit in silence.

***

“Baby,” Jin begs, “Please, baby, say something.”

“I don’t know what to say,” You mumble, his words ringing clear in your head. You had put Bomi in her bed, as she had somehow fallen asleep despite you and Jin arguing.

So now you’re both standing in the living room, looking at each other sadly. “Can I hug you?” Jin asks, walking towards you with outstretched arms. He dwarfs over you but you stand limply in his arms, your own arms hanging awkwardly at your side.

“Baby,” Jin pleads with you, cradling your cheek.

You’ve had worse fights with him in the past. But you knew him, you knew he wouldn’t lash out like this normally.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” You say bluntly, “And don’t lie to me and say everything’s fine. This isn’t just about your shoulder, so what is it?”

Of course you’d know that he was hiding something. You’re his other half after all, so he shouldn’t be surprised.

Jin sighs, rubbing his face tiredly. “I just…” He whispers.

“Tell me, baby,” You say reassuringly, hand on his chest, “It’s just me.”

He squeezes his eyes shut to gather his thoughts before opening his mouth and giving himself the chance to hurt your feelings again. “I just...I feel like I have no reason to get sick. To be in pain, I mean, what am I doing? I’m just at home, anyway-”

“Seokjin,” You murmur in a hushed whisper, “You’re not just at home-”

“I just feel- inadequate sometimes lately,” Jin says, his eyes wide and vulnerable, “I feel stuck and like… unsettled. I just want to be a husband you can be proud of. I’m sorry I yelled at you in the car.”

“Honey,” You cup his face with love in your eyes, “It’s okay. We’ll figure it out together, okay? You can tell me anything, when you’re ready. I hate pushing you to open up but sometimes you just need it, baby.

“I’ll always be proud of you no matter what. You are my dream babe, so supportive and loving and I always feel safe with you. If you want to work again, we’ll figure it out. If you want to write something else, we’ll figure it out. I’ll always be proud of you, but I want you to be proud of you, too. I love you.

“And you can make it up to me with dinner,” You joke, pulling a laugh from him.

“I’m really sorry,” Jin says, pulling you in for a proper hug. This time you reciprocate and hold him close.

“I know, love,” You murmur, “I know.”

SIX. question and answer.

Seokjin had quit his job about two years before you both had gotten married. He’d been dreaming about finally putting his dream of being a true storyteller to the test, and you had supported him. You’d read through his drafts and his manuscripts and encouraged him to pursue it full time. After all, you made enough to sustain you both and then some. And it’s not like he wasn’t making any money at all- he did freelance work with his writing for the most part.

He was good, he was more than good. He was great. Jin was a natural born storyteller, knowing exactly when to focus on details and when to zoom out and focus on the big picture. The way he wrote his stories genuinely felt like he was spinning words out of gold thread when you read what he wrote.

And he’d blush, the tips of his ears going red, when you said that to him with such conviction because you meant it.

Jin would get his big break soon, you were sure of it. But honestly, Jin was content like this. Freelancing his work, writing and keeping up with his new ideas and stories. It was one of the greatest gifts of his life, he thinks.

You and Jin are both content with your lives. You both find new ways to excite each other and new ways to fall even deeper in love with each other. It’s funny because your wedding hadn’t really even been planned. You both would have been content to exist as boyfriend and girlfriend until the end of time, but the idea of being his wife and of him being your husband was too mesmerizing for you both to let go of.

Neither of you wanted anything big or flashy. In fact, the way Jin had brought it up had been over breakfast (which in itself was so very him)-

“I wanna be yours forever,” Jin says bluntly, syrup at the corner of his mouth.

“Is that a proposal or are you just saying that,” You tease but his eyes are serious.

“Do you want it to be a proposal? I know we’ve talked about marriage and how what we are now is enough for both of us. I know you love me and I know I love you. But… god, I want to be your husband. I want you to be my wife.”

“Okay,” You shrug, “So let’s get married.”

“That’s it?”

“Does it need to be any more complicated?” You ask, “Like you said. I already know I want to be with you forever. Let’s make it official. Besides… I wanna be your pretty wifey. Don’t you want that?”

And that was that. You told your parents and he told his parents that you’d be getting married in court, and they had respectively scolded you both for not telling them before or planning anything. But nevertheless, they still came and they were witnesses at the court wedding. Only a few friends had come (you’d only invited a few)- the guys and some of your girls.

Jungkook had cried along with your mother.

You and Jin at least had a small get together with your friends and family to celebrate a little bit. Your parents were a little miffed that they didn’t have a chance to have an elaborately planned wedding for their eldest daughter, but they knew you. They knew you wouldn’t have wanted all of that.

“At least they told you and invited us to come,” Your brother says, rolling his eyes at your mother.

But it’s inevitable that for the last few years, the question of whether you both would ever grace your respective parents with grandchildren comes up repeatedly. Your parents are harder on you and more incessant than Jin’s parents are.

Many family gatherings have ended with you losing your temper with your parents, specifically your mother and your aunts. Your patience runs out quickly with them and Jin knows it. It’s part of the reason why you’ve been distancing yourself from your mother and aunts- it’s exhausting and tiresome to keep having the same conversation. Jin has been witness to your frustrated tears one too many times to count. First, they’d bug you about when you and Jin would get married. And now, they bug you about when you’ll have children.

You and Jin are happy right now. Neither of you had explicitly decided that you didn’t want kids. You’re both just taking it easy. And your family can’t seem to understand that.

Of course, you’ve both talked about kids together. And you’ve thought about whether you were meant to have kids extensively. Truthfully, you never really saw it becoming a reality.

But again… not right now. Maybe later. Or maybe not ever. The decision will come when it comes. It’s been years, and your feelings haven’t changed one way or another.

Your mother says you’re too laid back. Which is funny, because when she met Jin for the first time, she told you that you were too uptight for him.

Jin’s family doesn’t push either of you. His mother treats you like her own daughter, and for that you’re grateful. You’ve heard stories from friends about shitty in-laws, and you’re glad that Jin’s family is your own family.

The Kims are having a small party on this gorgeous summer evening- you and Jin are in attendance, along with his brother, his brother’s wife, and their two kids, and a few of Jin’s aunts, uncles and cousins.

Jin seems to sense that you’re both about to get ambushed by his mother and his aunts in the kitchen after drinks and dinner before you do. You stand closer to him, subtly squeezing his hand in yours. He grips your hand and squeezes back.

At least he’s with you, and you don’t have to fend for yourself, you think dryly.

“You ladies got something to say?” Jin says, his jaw starting to tick. He’s getting upset and you rub your thumb over his hand.

“We only want what’s best for you,” His mom says with a sigh, “You’re both getting older, when will you have kids-”

You swallow a lump down as your throat goes dry and the urge to cry overwhelms you.

“Stop,” Jin warns, his voice low, “We’re not doing this. Not here, not now.”

“We haven’t said anything for this long,” His aunt complains. You want to melt into the floor.

Are you the problem?

“Do you want a trophy for minding your own business?” Jin says, glaring at his aunt, who cowers with the heat in his stare. You can’t find your voice, so you let Jin speak for both of you.

“Don’t speak to your aunt like that,” His mother scolds Jin but he’s not having it.

“I will, if any of you speak to my wife and I like this,” Jin hisses, “We’re leaving.”

Jin squeezes your hand and you refuse to let go of him. Your vision is blurry from unshed tears and Jin notices. You manage to hold it in while you grab your purse, until you get to the car and let a few tears fall before shoving your face into his chest and sobbing.

“I know, baby,” Jin sighs, rubbing your back soothingly, “I’m sorry. Let’s go home.”

***

“I don’t know what to say,” You mumble into his chest. You had both immediately changed into night clothes to cuddle in bed, with Bomi in your arms.

“I’m tired,” Jin sighs, “Tired of them asking. Tired of everyone asking us.”

“I’m sorry,” You say, looking up at him, “They’re our family.”

“Doesn’t mean they get to be the way they are,” Jin rolls his eyes.

“I know,” You reply, “I’m running out of things to say to them. We’re gonna push everyone away if we keep this up.”

You say the last part jokingly, but you both know it’s a very real possibility. It’s becoming harder and harder for you both to give them the benefit of the doubt, to say that they only ask out of their own good intentions. It’s beginning to hurt you more and more.

“Maybe they need to be pushed away,” Jin mumbles, “If it means getting some peace of mind and not feeling like this whenever we see our families, maybe it’s worth it.”

“Maybe.”

A beat of comfortable silence.

“Do you want kids?” Jin asks bluntly, “It’s been a while since we actually talked about it. Just want to make sure nothing has changed.”

“No, not now,” You murmur, “Maybe someday. It’s such a hard question to answer. I don’t want to say no definitively but I don’t want to say yes definitively either… Do you want kids?”

“Maybe someday,” Jin echoes, “We can revisit in a few months. Or next year. Whenever we feel like it. Because it’s our decision.”

“Your mom is right,” You sigh, “I am getting older, you know. If we do want kids, we should seriously start thinking about it soon.”

“There are other ways to have kids,” Jin says pointedly, “When we’re both ready. Not because we feel like we have to.”

“Okay,” You say softly, “I love you.”

It’s that simple and that’s that. (For now, at least.)

SEVEN. together.

As you and Seokjin had tumbled out of your late twenties, you both found yourself preferring boozy brunch to nights out. At least with boozy brunch, you could recuperate during the day so you weren’t hungover for the entirety of the next day.

That’s not to say that you didn’t enjoy a night out every so often with your friends. You liked going out more than Jin did, even when you were in college.

So it was no surprise that at Taehyung’s boozy birthday brunch, you were well on your way to being drunk and Jin was, too. It had been a long time since you had seen your friends- it really only feels like you see each other for birthdays or big events. You miss the days of college, when you could see each other at the drop of a hat. It never felt this busy even in the years right after college. In the early years, even though most of them were younger than you and Jin, it still felt like there was more time.

It makes you feel nostalgic. You hear Jungkook teasing Jin (as he often does) and Jin dramatically responding. His cheeks are flushed red, the flush creeping down to his neck.

God, he looks so good.

You tear your eyes away from him when Taehyung’s girlfriend calls your name. She asks if you want to dance and you immediately say fuck yes, and stand up with her and with Sunmi to head to the dance floor with two drinks in your hands.

You can feel Jin’s eyes on your backside- you know you looked good. The pink crop top you had chosen for brunch was tight around your chest and you know these dark wash jeans and short heels (coincidentally your favorite) made your legs and your ass look fantastic.

Not that you didn’t look fantastic at all hours of the day. But you like being reminded that your man cannot get enough of you.

You’re careful with your drinks, ensuring that not a single drop is wasted while you dance with your friends. It’s been a long time since you’ve been able to let loose like this, and it makes you happy to be surrounded by friends that you love.

Sunmi’s hands are on your hips as you throw your head back in loose laughter. You’re vaguely aware of someone taking selfies of the three of you. Mostly, you can feel Jin’s lazy gaze on you, and a few other eyes as well.

You’ll give your husband something to watch, alright.

***

Somehow, it’s only 3 PM when it feels like it's 11 PM. And somehow, Taehyung is eager to go to the club at night, after an afternoon of reckless drinking. You and Jin exchange a wordless look, already knowing where your head is at.

“Yah… just let us know where the pregame is,” Jin says and Taehyung beams at him, “We’ll take a power nap until then.”

You feel bad that you and Jin probably won’t be going out, but you don’t want to dim his excitement. And honestly, knowing your friends, they’d all hype themselves up after an entire afternoon of drinking only to crash, pass out, and order in to chill.

“I don’t really wanna go,” You complain once you’re both in the comfort of your home, changed and ready for a nap.

“Jungkook told me that they’re all crashing anyway,” Jin says.

“Besides, I wanna blow you when you wake up,” You say sleepily.

“Why not now,” Jin whines, “Look at me, I’m already half hard. Help me.”

“I’ll puke on your dick if I suck you off right now.”

“Not like it hasn’t happened before-”

“Seokjin!”

“Ugh, fine,” Jin says dramatically, “I’ll just suffer then.”

“Okay, then perish.”

EIGHT. self.

Jin likes lists. He’s a big fan of crossing things off of his lists (which he keeps in his planner and his journal depending on what he makes lists for), and there are very few things as satisfying as completing a task from his list.

He’s a huge stationery enthusiast, only allowing both himself and you to use materials that he deemed satisfactory. He’s recently come across the magic that is washi tape, thanks to Namjoon.

Today, he’s taking Bomi out for a walk and to the nearby dog park, then he’s going to outline some new story ideas in his notebook (to later add to his drive on his laptop), and then he’s visiting baby Jia and Jimin with Yoongi and Holly.

Inspiration seems to be flooding through his pores these days, and he’ll ride that wave for as long as he can.

After seeing Jia and Jimin, he’ll stop by the grocery store and restock some on veggies, spices and meat. Routinely, you and Jin switch on who makes dinner for the week. You do enjoy cooking (it’s your time to decompress) but you’ll gladly admit that your man cooks better than you.

He claims that his secret ingredient is love. You think it’s because he’s more patient than you.

Sunday mornings at least twice a month are spent baking with Jin. You both like trying and making new things together. Sometimes it comes out great, and sometimes it doesn’t.

Jin also picks up some of your shared favorite snacks, two new bottles of wine to try, and a bag of clementines.

***

Initially, the quiet of the house without you felt a bit stifling at times. And once Bomi came into the picture, it became a little more lively. And then Jin had taken some plant recommendations and tips from Namjoon. He takes care of them meticulously, and you even have two succulents on your office desk that Jin had surprised you with.

And then you had surprised him with a record player with a few vinyls of his favorite albums and artists.

You both had made it a home project after purchasing the record player to build a sturdy, wooden audio rack together. Of course, it had taken months to finish (and if you had called Jin your sexy lumberjack husband and taken photos of him posing with the table together, then that was your business).

Jin puts some music on the record player before taking Bomi’s harness off and letting her stretch her legs. He puts the vegetables and the meat in the fridge and fills up a glass of water (as well as Bomi’s water bowl).

Maybe he’ll put a candle on and work from the couch.

Jin usually prefers working in his house with music faintly playing in the background. But sometimes, he likes working with Yoongi in his studio. Somehow, the feeling and sound of Yoongi working on his own music puts Jin in the right headspace to write and get his words on paper.

Jin puts his head down and loses track of time as he types away, tapping his foot to the music in time with the beat. Bomi curls up to his side and rests her head on his thigh.

It must be about two hours later, when his phone starts ringing. It’s Hoseok calling and Jin picks up instantly, knowing that he’s been having a tough time recently. Hoseok had taken the week off to get his thoughts sorted, and it’s clear that he wants (or needs) some company. So Jin tells him to come over and he warms up some leftovers and prepares some snacks.

Hoseok and Jin end up lying in bed together, under the duvet with Bomi in Hoseok’s arms. Jin turns the music up, as it’s comforting to hear in the silence. He doesn’t push him to talk, unless he really wants to. Eventually, with a sigh, he does.

It’s almost disconcerting, seeing the pull of Hoseok’s lips into a sharp frown. He’s usually so happy, and smiley, sunshine personified. But he is only human and he is not immune to hard days and generally feeling this way.

Jin only holds Hoseok close to him as he tells him how he’s been feeling the last few weeks. Months really. The words stumble out, forcing their way out of his throat (and some tears do, too).

Jin only rubs his friend’s arm reassuringly and listens.

***

You find Jin and Hoseok tucked away in your bed and you’re sure to be quiet and light on your feet when you arrive home from work. You let them have their time together, only saying hello to them when you arrive and start preparing dinner with a glass of wine in your hands.

“You don’t-” Hoseok protests, and you hold your hand up before he can even finish his sentence.

“Stay for dinner, Hobi. It’s been a while,” You murmur with a soft smile, “Besides, Jin got new wine and we’d love to try some with you.”

So he stays, and you see him smile genuinely for the first time in a long time.

NINE. to the nines.

“I love being your arm candy,” Jin murmurs into your ear when you both walk into the swanky hotel together, “Because I’m the only 11 in the room.”

“You’re so full of it,” You roll your eyes, swatting his chest playfully. Truthfully, you enjoy these events so much more when Jin is with you. You can hardly stand being in the room with these many people from work when you don’t have to be.

But being with Jin makes things like this bearable. Enjoyable, even.

It’s the director’s retirement party, and nearly everyone at the company is here for the party. You spot Jungkook and Namjoon with their respective significant others near the open bar and immediately make a beeline for them.

“Hey,” You murmur, giving them each a tight hug, “You all clean up very nicely.”

“Yah! You didn’t even tell me that when we left the house,” Jin pouts and you roll your eyes. Again.

A lie, and you both know it.

“Let’s make a drinking game out of this shindig,” You mutter and everyone looks on with interested eyes, “Every time you see your boss-”

“You don’t need to make a drinking game outta it,” Jungkook says, wrapping an arm around his date’s shoulders, “We’re already tipsy-”

“Of course you are,” Seokjin rolls his eyes, “Wouldn’t expect anything less-”

“Don’t come for me, I know you both took tequila shots before getting here-”

You leave Jin and Jungkook bickering and walk with Namjoon and his date to the open bar.

“What do you two feel like having,” You muse, “Let’s get this party going, everyone looks like they’re wasted or like they’d rather be anywhere but here.”

“Should we be networking,” Namjoon muses, taking a look around the ballroom.

“I only network from eight to five pm on weekdays and after that I need a six month notice in advance if I’m being forced to network,” You say flatly, “Let’s just enjoy, Joon.”

“If you say so, boss,” Namjoon grins good-naturedly at you. You hand out your respective drinks, beckoning Jin towards you and have a quiet cheers together.

You’re happy to be with your friends, and with Jin, even if it’s a work event that you have an unspoken obligation to attend.

***

It appears that Taemin does not quite see the ring on your finger- or he sees it and he willfully ignores it. Or it’s the alcohol and he’s just being far more flirty than usual. Either way, you take it in stride and dip out of the conversation as soon as you can to make your way back to Jin.

Who had been watching the whole interaction with amused eyes.

“Are you jealous?” You ask with a sugary grin.

“Yeah, definitely,” Jin rolls his eyes, “Jealous that your coworker caught five minutes of your time. Should I go rough him up?”

“I love when you protect my honor,” You wink at him, rubbing his chest absently, “It’s so sexy.”

“I love you,” Jin says abruptly, “I’m proud to be the person on your arm, you know that?”

“Yeah,” You say dreamily, “I love you.”

You and Jin end up finishing the night with Jungkook, Namjoon and their dates at a nearby pizza place. Even if you look out of place in fancy formal wear, none of you pay it any mind.

Neither you nor Jin particularly prefer PDA, but you can’t help but lean your head against his shoulder when you start to yawn. You’re struggling to stay present in the conversation and Jin’s warmth next to you is pushing you closer and closer to sleep.

You end up dozing off without realizing it, and Jin adjusts himself so that your head is comfortably resting on his shoulder. Everyone is sure to keep their voices down since you’ve fallen into a deep sleep apparently, and once everyone’s finished with their food Jin hesitates to wake you up.

“Honey,” Jin murmurs, shaking your shoulder gently, “The Uber’s almost here. We can go home and go to sleep. A pizza parlor is no place for sleeping.”

It takes a few moments of shaking your shoulder and whispering for you to wake up before Jin just lifts you up and carries you outside. You inhale loudly at the sudden movement and your eyes spring open.

“Jin,” You mumble into his neck, “‘M so tired.”

“I know, baby, we’ll be home soon. Gonna put you down now, alright?”

Your feet hit the ground but you stay in his embrace, eyes still closed and face tucked into his neck. You force your eyes open with a groan and look over his shoulder to see Jungkook and Namjoon in similar embraces with their own dates.

“They’re cute,” You say softly to Jin, “We’re cuter, but they’re still cute.”

“That’s my girl,” Jin grins and pecks your forehead.

“‘M your pretty wifey,” You remind him. As if he needs a reminder.

“‘M your pretty hubby,” Jin says. As if you need the reminder.

He’s your forever, and you’re his forever. Things between you both have always been relatively simple and easy.

And this fact is no different.

tags: @kentobean

#seokjin x reader #seokjin smut #seokjin fluff #seokjin #seokjin x you

520 notes · View notes

heretherebedork · 3 years ago

Note

(completly diff anon) If you don't mind continuing the discussion, I'd like to add some to the whole liking bl and being a "bad queer." It's something I struggled with a lot for a while. For relevance, I am also queer (bi, ace, afab nb), but that's one of the points I wanted to make. I guess I am slightly disagreeing with the statement authentic queer media has to be made by queer people? Because then the person has to be out in order to be considered to be making valid queer media. Which feels icky to me? Especially given my understanding that a lot of Asian countries are still pretty homophobic. And then I think in some ways that can lead to the thinking that you have to be the right type of queer to right a certain type of story. Also kinda icky.

Also, I don't deny a certain amount of the criticism of bl as a genre comes with racism, I think there is a certain amount of misogyny too. A lot of the flack I've gotten and seen for bl was directed at women, particularly straight women, who like all mlm content. But what bl and mlm fanfic has in common is that it's mostly "romance" which is always seen as a lesser genre because it is mostly made by women. I think it's important too to look at who is throwing around the criticism and who benefits from it. In my experience, it's almost always t3rfs.

Anyway, I personally don't think we have to think critically about everything we watch. There is enough chaos and craziness in the world, it is okay to just shut it out and enjoy a cute story. (Or a dark problematic one, you do you.) Morality isn't defined by what we watch in our precious free time. I hope this helps the other anon, because I've been there! You're okay anon! You are valid! You are not a bad queer!

(Sorry for rambling on so much and I hope any disagreements with stuff you've said come across as a friendly discussion type commentary and not critical.)

And that's why I was so specific about that being my personal way of defining 'authentic queer fiction/cinema', because it is entirely personal and, frankly, has not to my knowledge been codified in anyway. Which definitely leads to a lot of these debates and discussions. As someone who, frankly, avoids most things people call the 'authentic queer experiences' because they don't tend to be to my taste... in order to define something, there must be some kind of guideline even if the guidelines aren't perfect.

Frankly, I think the intent is what matters most for the definition of authentic queer cinema. Is this specifically written to show a queer experience or is it written for the intent of a non-queer audience, is the intent to show queerness or to just do a light drama/romance/comedy? The rest is framework but the intent and intended audience matter the most.

But also, the honest answer, is that most BL, especially BL prior to 2021/2022, is not made for or by queer people. Even when queer people were and are involved, which they are, the show's intent and intended audience was not queer people. And that's fine! I love it! I have no issues with this whatsoever and it is, in fact, my preference 100%. But that makes it not an authentic queer cinema/fiction and that's okay!

Now a lot of the criticism definitely comes from misogyny (@absolutebl has talked about this in a few of their posts about why romance is a much bigger genre in East Asian versus the Western World and it's fascinating but I know nothing, honestly, this is not my expertise at all) and I'm sure, again, that it comes from racism as well. But I think a lot is rooted deeply in the fact that it might not be written for queer people but it is definitely written for women and that's just as easy to insult.

It always makes me think of how my father's favorite genre is RomCom and how many people raise an eyebrow when I say that because it's not 'traditional' and boy, I get into the home dynamics of how I grew up and suddenly people seem to realize there's a reason I don't think it's odd but that's just... personal background that shapes a lot of things.

Now, as for who is throwing the criticism? I avoid it entirely so I have zero idea. None. Absolutely none. I have never read a single genre critical article or rant about BL because, frankly, that doesn't interest me. I read them about specific shows but not about the whole genre. So I am also approaching this without prior knowledge and I am totally content please don't link it to me. I don't want to know!

I did also specify that you only should think critically if you want. Like, I think watching critically is a good thing even if you only want to figure out why you like what you or what you like the most... but that's still totally optional if you don't want it. I just don't know how not to.

Uh.

Anyway!

Watching media does not make you a bad person or a bad queer. Never. There is no media consumption that can make you a bad person or a bad queer. Nothing. Enjoy your shows, love yourself, have a grand old time!

#authentic queer cinema #hoo boy y'all really out here dragging me out of my wheelhouse #I don't mind #but wow #things i don't actually think about that much 2022 #despite the number of words i can say about it

11 notes · View notes

littlesniggy · 4 years ago

Text

The Chosen One

Anon: Hey! I saw you did a request for Blackbeard and I know you don’t really like writing for him but would you do a scenario where he and his crew are on an island and in a bar or whatever and there is this dancer and he just needs to have her? Could you make it nsfw and maybe dark? If not it’s okay too! I love your writing ! 💖

I don't know if I should be worried about you for requesting nsfw Blackbeard or worried about me for actually writing OVER 2000 words! On the one hand I'm happy that someone requested something different but on the other hand...it's Blackbeard 😂 Anyways, I will still keep writing for him cause he is just the perfect character for non-con scenarios though I know that it's not everyone's cup of tea. Hope you still enjoy it.

Warning: 18+, nsfw, non-con, blowjob

Paring: Blackbeard x female reader

Word count: 2.6k (please kill me)

On the way to Hachinosu Blackbeard and his crew made a stop at another island known to be a paradise to pirates and outlaws, being completely abandoned by the navy and world government. Drunk men and women were gathering in the streets, liquor spilling out of their mouths while they tried to stay on their feet. Two women immediately staggered over to him and his crew, knowing full well who he was. They pressed their half-naked bodies against his, trying to get him to spend money on them in the form of booze or maybe even jewelry. But he pushed them away quite forcefully, making his way through the crowd and into a bar that advertised with sexy and luxurious ladies. None of them were either – at least in his memory.

Blackbeard let himself fall down on a chair, yelling to the bartender to better hurry up and get him his booze. Part of his crew joined him; the rest was scattered around the island. “I hope Glitter is here today! Can’t wait for her to dance for me! Wiihahahahaha!” Burgess laughed, grabbing the mug filled with beer and emptying it in one go. “That ugly, old hag? You have a terrible taste in women. Zehahahaha!” his captain retorted, letting his eyes wander through the bar and the dancing ladies.

“Better than that annoying brat you tormented last time, captain! At least Glitter knew what she was doing. Yours was just screaming and begging you to stop! I thought you would break her! Wiihahahahaha!” the rest of his crew joined in in Burgess laughter at the memory of their last stay at this island. Blackbeard chuckled darkly, taking a deep slug of his booze.

“She just couldn’t handle an emperor of the sea.” His crew’s laughter grew louder, other costumers eyeing them from the side but too afraid to actually say something.

“Oi! Bartender! Where are all your pretty ladies?!” Blackbeard yelled, making the bartender flinch where he stood. “This is the first shift. The second one will come in about an hour.” He informed them but Blackbeard was having none of it. “Make them come out now!” he demanded. “And tell Glitter to come out!” Burgess added, already drinking his second mug.

“As I said, the next shift wi-“, but he was interrupted by Blackbeard. Dark shadows started surrounding him, a malicious grin formed on his lips, exposing his missing teeth. “Do you really want to argue with us?” he asked. The whole atmosphere had changed in an instant and the air was thick as ice. The bartender shook his head and hurried to the back, not wanting to cause any more trouble. “At least he knows what’s best for him.” Shiryu chimed in, ordering another mug as well. “Let’s see what they have to offer today.”

It didn’t take long for the women to come out and most of them were the same as last time. Blackbeard was unsatisfied even though he had already suspected as much. And that chick from last time wasn’t here either. How rude!

Sulking, he grabbed Shiryu’s mug he had just ordered and downed in one go, spilling half of it on his beard and chest. “Another one!” he yelled, throwing the empty mug against the wall next to the bartender’s head. The women who had just come out schrieked in surprise and wanted to run to the back again, but Blackbeard stopped them. “Shut up and start dancing, you ugly hags!” he yelled, his mood dropping by the minute.

“Don’t be too harsh with them, captain. It’s not their fault they’re not your type.” Burgess laughed, his eyes already glued to Glitter, one of the blonde dancers. Blackbeard huffed, his eyes skimming the other women once again in the hopes that he might’ve missed one of them.

And apparently, he had! In the furthest back, barely visible, was this one, beautiful young women, starting to sway her hips to the music playing and all of a sudden his anger was blown away. A huge, grin re-appeared in his lips and he leaned back in content, watching her move to the beat. His crew wasn’t stupid; they had noticed their captain’s change in behavior and one look at the dancer in the back gave the answer as to why.

“Seems like captain’s gonna get some fun tonight after all, isn’t that right?” Burgess chuckled in amusement but didn’t say anything beyond that, too occupied with staring at the blonde dancer in the front.

Blackbeard was entranced by her performance; her graceful moves, her soft-looking hair, her glistering lips – oh, how much he wanted to feel them around his dick while he grabbed those perfectly soft locks to guide her to his thrusts. He swallowed hard, his primal instincts taking over the longer he watched her.

It was no surprise he couldn’t wait until the performance was over. He got up from his chair and ambled over, interrupting the other women. “H-hey! What are you doing?” one asked disgusted but she almost immediately shut her mouth when he glared at her over his shoulder. “Did you say anything, tramp?” he asked but the woman backed off already, holding her hands up in defense. “I-it was nothing. I’m sorry.” He apologized and watched him corner the object of his desire against a wall.

“C-can I help you?” she asked, obviously scared shitless. Blackbeard chuckled and held out his hand, showing off the variety of rings on his hand while he did. But she didn’t see it, too occupied with trying to find a way out of this situation. Usually, the bartender and her boss were enough to scare anyone who tried to do anything to them away but he was Blackbeard, Marshall D. Teach, emperor of the seas – he wouldn’t be scared away by two middle-aged men with guns.

“I want you to come with me.” The pirate said and she pressed her body against the cold wall behind her, wishing she could just disappear. But this was impossible. “I-I’m working at the moment. C-could you wait until….until we’re done?” she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to reject him out loud cause an angry Blackbeard was a scary Blackbeard. She didn’t want to agree to go with him either which should be obvious why. So, the best option was to buy some time – if he let her.

Blackbeard’s grin grew wider and he lowered his hand. “Of course. And when you’re done you’re gonna come to me and become my woman, okay?” he asked. Well, it wasn’t a question rather than an order and she knew she couldn’t refuse, couldn’t turn him down. She was trapped. Maye she could try and sneak away somehow but she feared that it would be almost impossible. Meanwhile, the captain of the Blackbeard pirates was walking back to his seat, his crew members laughing at him getting ‘turned down’ again. After a few insults the music started playing again. All the dancers were scared but had to try and look as if nothing happened, giving costumers suggestive glances to get more tips.

Blackbeard’s eyes never left her body and she knew there was no way out. The other women even agreed on dancing more than usual, just for her to maybe find a way out. But when the very last song had ended and tips could be collected from the floor she knew she was screwed (or was about to get screwed).

“Just try and get out the back, Y/n.” one whispered but she had already noticed how one of his crewmembers, the one with the cigar, had left and was probably waiting for her in the back, just in case she chose to make a run for it. So, she did the only thing she could think of – surrender to her fate and slowly walk over to where the feared pirate was sitting.

His crew’s eyes widened when they saw her walking over, everyone expecting her to try and sneak away. “There you are. Haven’t I told you, you bastards? She came!” he yelled excitedly, almost like a little child who got the toy he had wished for for his birthday. She tried to look confident but her trembling body was betraying her.

“Seems like she didn’t come cause she liked you so much, captain! Wiihahahaha!” Burgess laughed. Blackbeard huffed and ignored him, grabbing her wrist instead and pulling her closer until she was pressed against his naked torso. “Do you wanna be my woman?” he asked, his breath reeking of alcohol and she had to crinkle her nose in disgust. “Zehahahaha….I know you want to. Don’t be shy.”

She felt his other hand move over her back and down to her ass, squeezing it in his big palm. She yelped in response, trying to get away from his hand by instinct but pressing her body further against his in the process. “That’s a good girl! Already showing her captain how much she wants him!” Blackbeard raised his hand to the bartender to catch his attention. “Oi! I’m gonna take her with me!” he just announced before he got up, pulling her with him out of the bar much to her dismay. She could faintly hear the bartender try and call him back but she was sure Blackbeard’s crew would stop him from coming after them.

She was brought to his ship of all places; some of his crewmembers who haven’t left the ship were still there and were leering at her with hungry eyes but not daring to make any comments since she was the captain’s. Blackbeard dragged her to his room which was smelling badly. It smelled like alcohol and sweat, mixed with his personal odor.

“Here we are, Y/n.” He announced, closing the door behind him. On the way he was the one mostly talking, asking for her name which she gave him in fear. She looked around the room, intuitively inching closer to the wall next to her. Blackbeard’s eyes were scanning her body, slowly coming closer and cornering her once again against the wall. He looked at her like a hungry dog looking at a piece of fresh meat and she could swear he was almost drooling. She didn’t want to be here. At all. But she couldn’t run away either. He fate had been sealed the moment he had laid his eyes on her.

“Ne, Y/n. Since you’re my woman now why don’t you show me how much you want me?” he suggested. He lifted his hand and gently stroked her cheek, feeling the wet tears that were running down her face. “No need to cry. If you’re good to me I’m gonna be good to you.” A threat no less and she couldn’t help but fall to the floor, burying her face in her hands and sobbing uncontrollably. This was too much for her. Why did he have to choose her? Why did she have to come with him? Why did she have to be his woman?

“Zehahahaha. Don’t cry. You’re gonna have it good with me. I’ll take care of you, Y/n.” she heard him walk away and a soft sound, indicating him sitting down on his huge bed. She didn’t raise her head but when she heard him speak up again she had to. “Come over here, Y/n.” he ordered, his voice sweet as honey but unforgiving like iron.

When she didn’t move, she heard him grumble in annoyance. “Oi, woman! I said come over here!” he repeated himself impatiently. Slowly, she got up and moved closer until she was standing right in front of him. Contently, he grinned again, taking her chin between his fingers, making her look up at him. “Good girl.” His thumb stroked over her jaw, over her lips before pushing between them and into her mouth. She pressed her eyes shut, tasting his salty skin on her tongue.

He moved his finger in and out, watching it in amazement while listening to the queit but wet sounds it was making. His other hand moved down to his pants, opening them and freeing his already erect member. She didn’t dare look down when he started to stroke himself in the same rhythm he was moving his finger, soon adding another one. He pushed them further down her mouth, pressing down on her tongue until her gag reflex kicked in and she made gagging sound, trying to suppress the feeling of throwing up.

“Zehahahaha. This is gonna be fun.” He mused before pushing her to the ground between his legs. She knew what he wanted but she couldn’t bring herself to open her mouth for him. She smelled his dick; at least it wasn’t as bad as she had expected but it was far from the clean smell she had hoped for. He slapped his dick against her cheek and smeared some pre-cum on it before he caressed her lips with his thick mushroom head. “Open up, woman.” He said in a low voice, his eyes glistering in excitement.

Taking her time, she opened her mouth, accepting that he wouldn’t let her get out of this situation either way. At least he wouldn’t have a reason to be mad at her if she obliged – at least she hoped. His dick pushed forward, gliding over her tongue and all the way to the back of her throat, ready to choke her on his dick. She pressed her nails into his thighs, trying to push herself away from his member but his hand was already buried in her lock, pressing her down onto his crotch. “Hngh!” she protested but he didn’t care.

A deep groan left his throat and he threw his head back, eyes closed in pleasure. He didn’t wait for her to adjust to his size and simply started moving her head on his own, pressing her down in him with each thrust, his hot dick filling her mouth out completely. More tears were running down her face and she tried to take a deep breath in every time she got the chance to.

His deep and shameless moans echoed through his room and could probably be heard by his crew outside. But he obviously didn’t care. To her relief, if she wanted to call it that, he didn’t demand of her to show some effort from her side; he was simply mouth fucking her the minute they had started. It wasn’t pleasant whatsoever but at least he did all the work and she just had to let him use her mouth.

“Fuck…what a good girl you are…your throat his so tight…! Fuck!” he praised, his hand grabbing tighter at her hair, pulling it almost violently as he moved her head on his dick. Her nails kept digging into his thighs as some sort of ‘punishment’ for him though she doubted he even noticed. She felt his dick pulse inside her mouth and she was thankful he wouldn’t last much longer.

With a few more thrusts he came deep inside her mouth, his sperm running down her throat, giving her a hard time not to take in a deep breath that was much needed. She didn’t taste a lot of his cum but what she tasted wasn’t nice at all. He was definitely drinking too much and his diet was unhealthy as well.

With an audible ‘plop’ he pulled his dick out of her mouth, saliva dripping down onto her thighs. He was panting in exhaustion, his hand still buried in her hair, making her look up at him again. “That was good, don’t you think, Y/n?” he asked, expecting her to agree. She nodded hesitantly, hoping he wouldn’t want anything else from her. “Later, we’re gonna go for round two so I can see how good your pussy can take me.”

#one piece #op #op imagine #blackbeard #op blackbeard #marshall d teach #Blackbeard x reader #ns.fw #please don't kill me #I'm really sorry #he's such a bad character #can't help but not like him #op x reader #x reader #female reader

79 notes · View notes

13tinysocks · 4 years ago

Note

I wanna see some anti fanfic rec plspls

You asked for it. May I present, a creepypasta x reader anti-reading list.

Quick Disclaimer: No author names will be dropped nor fic links or sites they’re on. I dislike these works but I don’t want anybody to be harassed. Don’t go after people, holy shit. These works are only here because of some heavily disturbing content. One of them just makes me super mad because of a few circumstances. These are purely my opinions. I am not writing Jesus nor do I write the cleanest stories out there. Dark topics should be explored in fiction. However, some things just shouldn’t fucking be romanticized. Fanfic is practice, I’m not taking points off for wonky writing.

You’re allowed to like whatever the fuck you want. I’m not shaming you or the authors. I’m talking about media I dislike, which I am completely allowed to do. If your friend or favorite author’s work is in here, maybe don’t send this to them. I get it’s tempting but still, it could be upsetting. Again, don’t fucking harass anybody.

This list is in order of - Pisses me off to FBI open up to whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck.

Content warning for: Rape, miscarriages, abortion, necrophilia, sexism, child grooming, multiple types of abuse, ablism, and meanie head criticism of popular fics. Seriously, this gets exceptionally bad at the final one.

First up in our lineup a pretty popular. It’s the least upsetting and problematic. It’s a various creepypasta x reader mansion fic. This is more of an honorable mention because it’s frustrating to read over being super bad.

Recruited.

Summary: (Y/n) killed an attempted rapist and covered it up years ago. She is recruited into the cpp’s to be considered as a proxy along with two others. Follow her through a journey of no character development into becoming a proxy.

What’s wrong with it?

-Brian literally is a misogynist. He literally hates women.

-(Y/n) is an asshole. Not in an entertaining bad bitch way. No, in an unaware bland way. Points off for being a business major, girl you have no soul and it shows.

-She is treated like the voice of reason who is always morally correct. Thing is, if anyone is neurodivergent or mentally ill and ya’know shows symptoms of it, they’re cRaZy, evil, and an annoyance.

-Yes, people creeping on or getting clingy can be shitty/annoying but sometimes the way (Y/n) acts is completely unjust. It left a bad taste in my mouth because the character felt okay to be shitty to people who weren’t like her.

-The endings are disheartening and make no fucking sense. Cody, who is clingy at worst, gets rejected Jack, who TRIES TO BREAK (Y/N)’S FUCKING LEG, gets with her. Can I get a HELLO??????

-(Y/n) also doesn’t get with Jeff who suddenly turned into her brother character after hundreds of pages of romantic tension. Again, Recruited is not inherently bad but it may be really disappointing to people who are here for 1-2 specific characters.

-Queer bait-y author’s notes and inconstant love interests. Author’s notes would read like “Teehee, maybe I’ll make (Y/n) have Jane and/or Natalie endings……” But that never happens after it’s teased multiple times. I get not wanting to add more to your plate but don’t suggest it if you don’t want to do it or only want to please heterosexual readers.

-They put Tim outside like a dog for being a bad boy.

-Author’s notes and percentages fill in details for the reader that aren’t in the fic. I’m not going to read all of that. Put important information in the fic.

-Lot’s of excessive jealousy. Painfully heteronormative.

What about the good?

Readable. Dramatic like Big Brother. Can be an entertaining read if it’s your thing.

Conclusion

Left a bad taste in my mouth. I feel like the author literally hated half the cast and was annoyed while writing them. When you don’t enjoy writing something it shows. Also, her other work (pandemic! Reader X X-Virus) is super tone-deaf and I don’t recommend that either. Don’t recommend joining this fic’s Discord server either. Won’t get into details but in my and my friend's experience: it’s not a good environment with a lot of playing favorites.

Next up on our list is a grossly popular Eyeless Jack X Reader fic.

My Imaginary Monster

Summary: Immoral monster, Eyeless Jack, sneaking into a 5-year-old girl's room. He gets attached, sticks around through her childhood. Thing is, he gets real creepy. Starts to catch feelings for a 16-year-old he’s watched grow up. He kisses a minor who reciprocates his feelings which is textbook child grooming. Nasty fucker runs away, there’s some drama from that. (Y/n) grows up, comes back to town, and Jack’s a’creepin’.

What’s wrong with it?

-Jack is a literal child groomer.

-Do I need to say more??? Immortal adult kisses a 16 y/o. Gross.

-People in the comments are going gaga for grooming. Are you kidding me, he’s a pedophile.

-The OC’s take up more than half of the ~200 page run time. I couldn’t get attached to any of them even after the supposed significance. Which is fine but they took up so much of the fic that it got boring and annoying incredibly quickly.

What’s good about it?

I enjoyed Ben. He did the right thing and I can respect that. Trans and poluyamourus reprrensentation.

Conclusion:

No child grooming in my fucking lobby. I think the author was trying to paint it in a bad light. But the thing is, you can write a creepy stalker fic without making them a groomer. A lot of people are trying to escape their troubles through fanfic, including those who’ve dealt with sexual abuse. Don’t bring that into x reader spaces. Don’t put readers through that again.

Last and absolutely least we got a Tim X Reader.

BIG TW. FUCKING HUGE TW. MOST OF THE TW’S FROM EARLIER ARE FROM THIS ONE FIC.

Pure Forgiveness.

Summary: (Y/n) is abused by her mom. Her dad killed himself and she’s all (Y/n)’s got in this world. Until Tim comes along and “saves” her. He takes her to the mansion and keeps her as a pet to torture.

I’m going to get into all the nitty-gritty to satisfy your morbid curiosities so you don’t read it.

What’s wrong with it?

-Chapter 1 opens with (Y/n)’s miserable life. Her mom hates her so much she has a fucking torture table for (Y/n).

-There’s an attempted rape in chapter 2.

- She’s taken to the mansion by Tim in chapter 3 because he’s “off his medication” and “acting nicer than normal”. Hi, mentally ill person here, that’s not how it fucking works you ding dong.

-Mental illness is made out to we wholly evil.

-Also tic’s are made out to be scary. As a person with tics, don’t write tics as scary or super weird. Thanks.

-(Y/n) not being able to escape, fight back rapists, and other horrible shit is labeled as weak.

-At one point (Y/n) is dragged through the mansion, beer bottles and used condoms are thrown at her. Girl has to shower off cum.

-(Y/n) is tortured in various ways. Mostly beaten, berated, burned, cut, starved, etc.

-She is drugged and repeatedly raped by Brian and Toby. These rapes are recorded and shown to (Y/n).

-Brian has black hair. Why?

-Toby and Brian give (Y/n) a forced abortion.

-(Y/n) gets raped almost every fucking chapter.

-At one point Jack orally rapes (Y/n) to abort a baby.

-Toby and Brian are necrophiles. They skull fuck a corpse at some point. It is graphically described how they like to have sex with dead bodies.

-Slenderman forcefully impregnates (Y/n) to “keep the (Tim’s) baby safe” whatever the fuck that means.

Why does this happen?

Because Tim wants a kid because his dad raped his mom and his mom was a prostitute. He’s soooo sad guys :(((

Feeling hungry? Here’s some things that are eaten by various characters.

-Hair

-Cum (forced)

-Toby

-Piss

-A miscarried baby

What’s good about it?

Nothing. Fucking nothing. Don’t read it.

Conclusion

If you like this fic you need therapy, I’m not joking. It’s like a car crash and Rob Zombie movie horribly mish-mashed together. It sucks. The comments praise literal abuse and berate (Y/n) for being afraid. Fuck this fic and everything it stands for. It’s shock horror and torture for the sake of it. It makes no fucking sense and it’s harmful. People think this is okay. It’s not.

Thank you to my pals in the server for helping out and finishing some of these where I could not. Especially you Connie, everyone say thank you Connie she got through Pure Forgiveness. Absolute trooper legend. Again, don’t go out of your way to harass these people. I made this list so you can avoid these works because they have the potential to be upsetting. I’m not the police, I can’t force anyone to stop nor do I want to. Author’s are allowed to explore dark topics but some should be done respectfully or not at-fucking-all. I hope these people grow as writers and understand treating some things a certain way isn’t cool. You can enjoy dark fics, I do too, fuck I write them too, but Jesus God, some things are a no from me chief.

#creepypasta x reader #rea talks #anon #reply #tw rape #tw abuse #read what you want #im not demanding the cancelationof these people thats dumb i just hope they grow and change #i read and write dark fic but you have to be aware of some shit dude lol #also jealousy and yandere fics r typically bad #like not every fic i reccomend or write is going to be problem free but theyre tolerable and interresting i think #im deadass when i say dont read the last one it is awful.

58 notes · View notes

littlemessyjessi · 4 years ago

Text

How They’d Be As Mukbangers: Harry Potter Characters

How They'd Be As YouTube Mukbangers

James: Every video has a theme. Like, I'm not even playing. Holidays? All kinda of holiday themed food. Quidditch World Cup coming up? Things inspired by the country of his favorite team. Just a random day? Everything is blue. He's that type of way.

Sirius: If a mukbanger was a thirst trap. I could easily see him really getting into. Dark background, black gloves, aesthetic as fuck and like, he doesn't even talk. He just sits there, looks hot and somehow makes eating looking incredibly sexy. And he fucking knows it. Bitch also one hundred percent rolls his eyes back when it hits his taste buds. Licks his lips and his fingers. Takes way too big of bites. Most people would say it's cringy how sexual his videos are...but everyone is secret subscribed anyway. With notifications on.

Remus: This goes one of two ways. If he's in a good mood and things are chill, he'll find a recipe, make it to the mother fucking 't' and then have a little mukbang slash review on said recipe. Nice lil chat. Sweet tol bean. Precious. If it's near the full moon there ain't none of that. Ya boy, brings in his monstrous plate of food, sits it down and just tears into like a fucking beast, no talking. Just nom nom nom. Unintentionally thirst traps and people opening talk about when Remus goes beast mode.

Peter: Candy and sweets channel! Small mukbangs with reviews from different candies from Honeydukes!

Lily: Lol, Lilypad. She ain't playing around. Her videos are planned out, edited and just generally finessed to perfection. Even had music added to it with tiny vlog segments as it's set up. It's a little pretentious but she does have a good following.

Marlene: This bitch. Fucking competitive eating queen. Tiny ass lil ho can eat you under the table, bro. Think RainaIsCrazy on YouTube. She can fucking smash. Usually does eating challenges from different resteraunts and competitions. Often, challenges Remus on his wild days. He's a beast but she still wipes the floor with him.

Dorcas: The collab. Dorcas always has good food and good company. She's all about sharing a meal with someone and talking about random things.

Alice and Frank: The couple channel. It's generally filled with so much fucking cute and the food is always tasty. It's sickening they feed each other but you also can't help but awww.

Molly Prewett/Weasley: Family recipes. Molly's channel are tried and true recipes from the Prewett family. Cook with me and tons of kitchen life hacks. Also, that woman can turn a ham sandwhich into a full course meal. Bet. Always taste tested by Daddy Weasley. Yes, I said Daddy Weasley.

Lucius Malfoy: The most pretentious fucking channel to ever exist. It's a whole fucking production that admittedly he does put a lot of work into. Somewhat thirst trappy like Sirius' but instead of just having a plain black background he goes out of his way to shove as much of his manor into. Only eats the most expensive food fucking on the planet and of course, it's prepared by House elves cause he's a twit. (Yes, I know this is Thranduil but honestly wouldn’t put it past Lucius to be this fucking pretentious.)

Severus Snape: Actually pretty solid content. His exquisite skills in potions actually made him a rather good chef. Tasteful shots, edited well with music over everything and subtitles. Simply audio for the eat portion at the end. Nothing too fancy for the background. Often just a very clean kitchen. Solid content though.

The Black Sisters: Mass chaos. Part vlog, part drama channel, half the time the food never even gets finished because of fights.

Bill Weasley: The Traveler. A lot of egyptian food. Some made by hand. Some vlogs from street food while he's out just generally doing his job. Short videos but solid. He's hot and he picks good food. It works for him.

Charlie Weasley: This extra ass bitch. He's the bitch that does all that outdoor cooking. You know what I mean. Shots in the woods, roaring fire. Lit by a precious dragon child no doubt. Dragons lounging in the background like those bitches who always have their dogs there. Yes, I'm jealous. Close up shots of him cutting things on a custom wood cutting board. Everything he makes causes your mouth to water. God damn, scarred, freckle faced bastard just gobbles it up and ends every fucking video with a wink. Charlie Weasley is the ultimate thirst trap and he fucking knows it.

Percy: Percy's channel could be epic but instead is boring as fuck. Why? Because he insist on having the most snooze worthy meals that are 'sensible' and THEN he proceeds to talk about politics. He actually had a pretty decent following of other like minded individuals but my god- politics and porridge, Percy? Really?

However, once he chills the fuck out, leaves the ministry to do something else - it’s a game changer. Brings the family on for mukbangs. Does videos with mummy weasley. Percy grows his hair out and Bill teases him for being a copy cat. Much better. Still talks politics but it’s fucking hiliarous and now the food is poppin.

Fred and George: Alright, this shit right here. Every fucking bit of it is a self promo for the shop. Meals inspired by and that would go well paired with 'this product'. Like, that's the whole thing. And then they run an add for their shop at the end featuring the product. It works for them because they're smart, they're hot and they're also wildly entertaining with their constantly sibling squabbling. But yeah. Big promo for the shop.

Ron Weasley: Honestly, out of everyone. Ron probably has the most followers and it's because he doesn't say shit while he's eating. He sits down with a massive fucking turkey. Nods at the camera and just tears it up. It's literally so satisfying. All the food is prepared by his mother. So it's obviously fantastic. ( I just had to use this gif.)

Ginny: Gin's channel is usually team building videos with the Harpies. 'Cheat Day: Vlog and Mukbang w/the Harpies' type of vibes. It's cool though and since it's a famous quidditch team the fans enjoy the behind the scenes action and actually drop all kinds of recipes for them to try in the future.

Hermione: Hermione could easily veer off into Percy's channel of misery when she gets started on her rants but mostly they're really chill videos. Mukbang and Book Review type of vibe. Or sometimes even the playing of an audio book while she does her thing. All in all, wholesome.

Harry: Lol, I swear. Fucking awkward bean. Harry's videos are literally of him making the simplest of things and being so fucking awkward. "Er, well, hi guys. So I'm about to head out for work. Running a bit late. But we're having a bit of toast and jam." Like it's literally just little videos of him eating whatever throughout the day. But of course, since he's Harry Fucking Potter- his follower count is astronomical.

Neville: Now, this boy. This boy is a goblincore gobbo's wet dream. Gardening videos with homegrown veg. Recipes from Grandmother. Have a nice Veggie Pot Pie with Professor Longbottom in the Hogwarts Greenhouse. There is a fanbase and it is huge.

Luna: Honestly, the weirdest fucking channel in the world. Like she finds the weirdest things to eat and goes from there. But Luna is bae so it's cool. Also, a thousand percent does Smoke Sesh + Mukbang videos. You know it's true.

Dean and Seamus: Literally, eating in the most crowded pubs as they visit football games around the country. Seamus will definitely pull the Irish card from time to time to have a drinking competition. He wins everytime. He may be a little dude but shit- homie can hold his own.

Cedric: Honestly, it's so fucking pure. Straight up did videos during his time at Hogwarts in the Hogwarts kitchen. Such kind little conversations with the house elves. "Hey, guys. Thanks for coming back to another video. Today we're making some really tasty biscuits. Whispy, one of the talented bakers here in the kitchens, is here to help us today so please say hello to her in the comments." He'll also always make extra and leave them in the Hufflepuff common room for everyone to enjoy. Like, it's honestly so pure and he's such a soft boi and oh my fucking geeeeeeerrrrrrdddd!!!!!

Draco: Actually takes it really seriously and put a lot of hard work into it. Nothing like his father's ego-tistical recipes. Surprisingly, every. single. recipe. is a muggle recipe. How would he know? Because he cross referenced with Granger of course. Cooks it himself. No magic. Lots of random talks. Just like a monologue of things and it gets kinda deep sometimes. Like, it's the channel to go to when you need advice that you didn't even know that you needed. Still eats incredibly proper. It's that pureblood raising of his. Old habits die hard.

Tonks: Pure chaos. "Hey, today we're having Mum's homemade lasagna and I'm also getting a new tattoo. Might dye my hair. Don't really need to since I can do this but whatever. So yeah, there's that. Like it's just all over the place and you'd think it would take but the chaos is too good not to watch. Literally gives herself beaks and snouts while she eats. It's iconic.

Dumbledore: Mother fucker just sits at his desk, stares straight into the camera and eats a lemon drop. Like a weirdo. The video usually no more than a minute and each video is just some variation of that. Meme lord.

Hagrid: Tea With Hagrid. Also, so the recipes suck, they too, but Hagrid is a peach and it's relaxing to see his gentle half giant there in his hut, pumpkin patch out the window and Fang laying by the fire. It's a mood and he's just like the comforting Dad figure.

McGonagall: Honestly the best one in the entire world. She makes a full course traditional Scottish breakfast... and then transforms into her animagus the cat...and promptly knocks it off the table. A fucking legend.

------------------------------

Please attack the ask box!

Love, Kenny

@frankie2902

@pleasantdreamqueen @becrazy–beyou

@littledeadrottinghood @blackirisposts

@therealmrshale @woodworthti666@thegreatirene@fanfictionandjunk

@angelus320

@alanlizzingtonshore@buriednurbckyrd@disneymarina@tubbypeachwriting

@sullybot @georgiagrl1990 @whenallsaidanddone

@mischiefnevermanaged94 @inumorph

@congurl

@centerhabit

@bubblymusiclover13

@qtmeryr

@thisismysecrethappyplace

@tnupsweetpie

@alisoncdariel

@hannahloveslife

@wormyboi

@blackirisposts

@maggyme13

@amethyst09

@ibenkastberg

@fanfics1717 @mrscasnovak

@thickemadame @babygirl-barnes

@theladyofmasks @aengsty

@kalliravenne

@witchygagirl

@gruffle1

@writtenbywolfie

@kribbydahhufflepuff

@leah-halliwell92

@thelastwildangel

@silent-browser

@simplymagical@simplymagicalwritings

@lilacflicker

@malulucifer

@minxyvixen

@moncheriemoony

@queenlexusloverofbts

@criminalyetminimal

Love, Kenny

63 notes · View notes

builder051 · 4 years ago

Note

Jonestown 'verse if you're up for it.

Drugs of your choice adding up to two very high girls and whatever factor inciting a flashback appeals.

Thanks!

Not sure this is what you were going for, as it's very tame and slow moving. No big action or emeto, though both are mentioned. There is also an ED mention, and obviously mentions of drugs and alcohol.

___________________________________

"I thought this was supposed to be, you know, a date..?" Jess looks down her nose at the bottle of white pills Nat is currently crushing to powder with the handheld pill grinder. "Aren't hallucinogens more... I don't know..."

"Private?" Nat finishes, a sly smile on her face. She opens the grinder and tips the contents into the bottom of a glass, to which she quickly adds cranberry juice and a swizzle stick.

"And since when is cold medicine for grown-ups?" Jess's forehead wrinkles as Nat slides the cocktail across the table to her before she sees to making another one.

"Since it started coming in white powder." Nat laughs. "Still best to ingest, but feels a little fancier than drinking the red stuff straight."

"Ok, ok." Jess puts up her hands, then begins swirling her cocktail before the powder can form unpleasant lumps. "But, seriously. Poor man's ecstasy. For date night." Jess shakes her head. "How's this gonna work?"

"You're the one who told me to cut things off with my dealer," Nat reminds her, a little crossly.

"Yeah. But you didn't answer my question."

"See some pretty lights. Cuddle a lot. Maybe fuck around a little. Then lie back and enjoy the show." Nat grins as if all of this is obvious.

Jess shrugs. "If you say so."

Truth is, the whole thing doesn't sound all that bad. If Jess was still surly and hateful, she'd probably find the proposition not bad at all. But Nat's turned her soft a little. Whipped her flesh so what's underneath depresses under tender pressure. She might want to talk. She might want a little closeness she'll remember in the morning. But she might not want to tell Nat any of that.

"I do," Nat says, tossing crushed pills into another glass and quickly stirring in the powder.

"Ok, then." Jess throws back her beverage, focusing on the bitter cranberry and not on the chemical flavor of the squashed white tablets. They form a film on her tongue, though, and she has to use her teeth to scrape it away.

Nat's empty glass hits the table before Jess's. She's taken it as a slammer instead of a sipper, not that Jess has spent much time savoring it. Jess glances up at Nat's face to find her licking her lips and beckoning her to stand up and follow her toward the bedroom.

Jess is affronted, but she doesn't show it. It's her apartment, so she's the one who ought to be doing the inviting. Right now she's the more conservative presence, though, so maybe her inclination to take them to the sofa to watch television first would be too modest. From what she knows of the drug, Jess isn't sure how much time there is to "fuck around" before the hardcore hallucinations hit.

Once they're on either side of Jess's bed, Nat strips to her t-shirt and underwear. Jess copies her, mostly because it's uncomfortable to sleep in jeans, and putting on pajamas seems too modest in comparison.

"C'mere," Nat says, slipping under the covers and holding them open for Jess.

"Yeah..." Jess slowly wriggles in, moving quickly when she meets Nat's arms and moving into the space left for her. Nat's body is warm, and they fit together well, hips interlocking and knees passing one atop the other.

Nat presses her forehead to Jess's and kisses the end of her nose. Jess can barely keep from screwing up her eyes, for the contact is... not unwanted, exactly. Just a bit much. But at least it's not a kiss on the lips. Jess isn't convinced she won't bite. And not in the sensual way.

"We've got, oh, I don't know. Twenty minutes?" Nat brings her face into Jess's neck, placing her chin on Jess's collarbone. "What do you wanna do?"

Nat's knee finds Jess's crotch and moves back and forth a few times, but Jess uses her hand to gently stop the motion. The presence is fine. The warmth, the comfort of her girlfriend; not just a fling or a casual friend who's weaseled their way into a benefit.

"Mm," Jess muses. "Talk, I guess."

"Ok." Nat goes a little limp. "How are you?"

"Eh."

"I mean, what've you been up to?"

Jess shrugs, raising Nat's chin a little. "Work. Missions. Whiskey." Then she smiles a little. "My girl."

"You've been up your girl?" Nat giggles.

Jess wonders if the white powder is already affecting her.

"Sometimes," she answers, grinning. Then she wonders if she herself is getting emboldened by its ingestion.

Nat keeps laughing. She's gotten bony again lately, and Jess wonders if the dose is weight affected. She's starting to feel fuzzy around the edges, but Nat's bordering on hysterical.

"Chill out a little, would you?" Jess says, wrapping her arms around Nat's body and lifting her easily a couple inches away from her body.

"Whoa." Nat's eyes cross, then float back to normal.

"Twenty minutes?" Jess cocks her head. "How about... fiveish?

"Maybe I should've 'fessed up." Nat puts her hand loosely over her mouth. "I usually take the kid route and drink the red stuff. Or the not-red stuff..."

"Huh?"

"Ever heard of robocough?"

"For fuck's sake, Nat..."

"What? It's better than actual E."

"Yeah, I know, the dealer thing..." Jess shakes her head. "But do you want kidneys?"

Nat shrugs. "Body..."

"'S a good body." Jess strokes Nat shoulder to tit to hipbone, then wraps her arm around her waist. There's definitely less meat than the last time they laid together. It's not her place to say something, though. That's Nat's business, until she gets to the hospitalization point.

"Anyway," Nat goes on, a little slurred. "Powder. That's the way to go."

Jess thinks of the first time she dipped her finger into a little plastic baggie of cocaine and set alight her nostril. She'd been, what, sixteen? Too young and too fed up with her foster care situation to give the cons of her choice much thought. "Yeah..."

She knows Nat started much of the same way, as an orphaned teen, either just out of the red room or during some tenured mission while she was still in their custody. The story changes sometimes. But the progression was much the same for both of them. Uppers. Then downers. Then, well, what they're playing with now. Only the grown-up type. Ecstasy and LSD were fun to use every once in a while, as an escape from the dreaded ordinary that was their lives.

They've discussed it. As much as either of them wants to discuss anything. Similar drug habits are a funny bond. One, a few months ago, they'd once smoked crack together before a mission, then been so thrilled no one had noticed that they stopped at the drugstore for a bottle of cheap champagne.

Champagne. She hasn't had any, so that's not the taste lingering on Jess's tongue. It's the cranberry, since she's scraped away all the white powder already. Jess forgets for a moment that she's had cranberry, though, and swallows hard, wondering if she's experiencing the dregs of vomit. She gulps a couple of times, and, unfortunately, Nat notices.

"Are you gonna puke?" she asks, slipping mostly off Jess and cuddling her from the side. "Are you seriously that high already?"

"No," Jess immediately protests. "I just... Cranberry." She tries to smile. She doesn't want to go through her train of thought to get to the champagne, so she just says, "I'm used to Jack, you know."

"And coke?" Nat grins.

"Ugh, no." Jess hasn't had that either since a bad night that ended with a bad trip. When some days include killing people, including one day long ago where her actions killed her parents, her occasional forays into hallucinogens can come out with some fairly awful results. That one, where the E had been downed with her favorite Jack Daniels and...someone else's... favorite diet coke, had resulted in images of dripping blood that turned out to be very real, as she'd bashed her nose into the edge of the toilet seat and busted a few vessels.

She knows Nat's teasing just a little, but Jess feels bad. She feels burdensome and heavy, which she knows is the recipe for a night of visions she'll regret. It's probably too late now to puke up the drug; Jess can feel it penetrating her system, arranging her settings to vibrate at the ultimate sensitivity.

"You sure this is a good idea?" Jess asks, but it's pointless. Nat's already under, and there's no way to tell if she's heard the question. Her eyes are closed, and her chin rests on Jess's shoulder as her face burrows into the space between the bed's two pillows.

"Fuck..." Jess mumbles. Lights begin to flicker around the edges of her visual field. She resigns herself for whatever's about to come next and closes her eyes. She scoots so her hip is in the sideways V between Nat's torso and thighs. Her warmth is comforting, even as the vision begins to up her anxiety.

Jess feels as though she's one with the bed, one with Nat, and her body is rushing forward to some unknown location in the dark. She slips her arm between Nat's tangled ones and holds on. Nat moans a little, and Jess wonders what she's seeing. Something pleasurable, she hopes.

Jess lets out her breath and wonders what she'll see. She has a stomach full of nerves, but she fights to ignore them as she shrugs and forces herself to answer her own question. Something pleasurable, she hopes.

#jonestown #avengers #jessica jones #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #marvel #mcu #fanfic #fanfiction #sickfic #emeto #alcohol #drugs #ed tw #blood #wlw #f/f #natasha x jessica #crossover

7 notes · View notes

endobiologist · 3 years ago

Text

Furry Species Stereotypes #1 - By Me

Note;

These are only my personal views of the furry fandom's species I know from my personal experiences with them,

and if not that, then general common assumptions or stereotypes.

Thus, this is not gospel truth for everyone!

If you disagree, please tell me why!

I'd love you guys' take.

I also tried to name as many species I could think about off the top of my head without looking them up, which took FOREEEEVER.

You can reply to this or anon ask me, or DM me with ones I've missed, even your personal own created species (even if no one knows them yet), I'll do them too in a reply to this!

Real existing species stereotypes down below, here!;

WOLVES ; Due to this being the most common persona, you are most likely someone who follows the crowd and likes things that are popular. You however are still a pretty solitary being, preferring a dark corner over a party's dance floor. You love honesty and loyalty and have those traits to a fault, never ever abandoning a friend or ally, in need or not. You may also like things like squishy toys and squeaky toys, fidget spinners, and any manner of play item. Also, basically, to sum it up; YA' BASIC. Sorry. 😆

FOXES ; Somewhat similar to ferrets, raccoons, & sometimes rats, you both scurry around quickly simultaneously physically, and in conversation, and you may "borrow" items from places seemingly like a kleptomaniac, but for sentimental items. Basically if you are friends with a fox fursona, your jacket and/or gloves, pins, pizza (LOL) and many other miscellaneous items may go missing "mysteriously" due to them collecting it as a habit. They almost never mean true harm, they just like keeping your stuff because it reminds them of you, which can be seen as creepy by some people. But it is also very endearing, if done with pure intentions. But you may want to tell the fox to stop taking your things and ask you first! LOL. You always seem to have a ridiculous amount of energy and for some reason, an insane amount of optimistic viewpoints, and positive happy personality. You also like your books, preferring to spend a night reading then playing video games. (Although you do enjoy those too.) You are pretty academic, but yet you can also do well in physical sports, if you're into that sort of thing. There are a few points in the wolf & dog category I would assign here too, most likely due to all three being canines, like liking the squeaky and squishy toys and other stem items, and being verrrry loyal if a bit solitary in nature.

CATS (BIG) ; ...Y'all are usually assholes! There! I said it! I'm sorry to say, but nine times out of 10, you guys seem to be huge dicks, and I'm... not sure why, exactly?? What attracts the enormous dickwad to the big cat's umbrella of wild cat species? Maybe, perhaps, it is the superior, regal, and majestic appearance of big cats,--perhaps relating to their usual narcissism in normal life? Okay, so, I'm exaggerating a little, I have met some big cats that are great and very good friends. But a lot of them I've seen have been downright rude, callous, cold, and distant, at best! And downright asswads at worse!! However it seems like as bad as they go when they're bad, they go really good when they're actually good. When they are cool people, they're actually surprisingly chill, especially when comparing to the other type of big cat. They tend to usually be D.J.s, dancers, comedians, performers or some sort of person in the entertainment field, in some way. Those type're usually hella nice to get along with, however their super friendly exterior disguises a very weird, eccentric and esoteric mind beneath. They also seem to ooze confidence outwardly, even if they aren't confident feeling on the inside. They are royal and regal, and usually relatively unfazed by anything that would hurt normal people pretty badly. These are usually the type of people who don't get into emotions very often, or if they do, they always still have a wall up between them and the other person. They're strong, but that's because they force themselves to be strong, and it makes for a very bad night if the big cat snaps and takes out their very strong, tiger-like roar of anger on others! Thus if you are a big cat, I suggest finding ways to manage your anger, and finding ways to relieve your stress, as I noticed people who are big cats in their fursona tend to be very stressed in real life for some reason. Again, I'm not sure why people who are, are attracted to that species specifically.

CATS (SMALL) ; You kitties are solitary like the big cats and wolves, however much more docile. There's two main types of cats that are house cats in fursona; There's the serious brooding figure that seems to be always alone yet peaking curiosity in everyone's eyes--the type that is stealthy, sneaky, and very cat-like--as in, realistic cat-like. You may sit strangely or have odd habits in voice or body, something that makes you stand out as different. There's also the second type of cat, which is basically an UWU XOXO anime girl that is ridiculously feminine, high pitched, and almost always is a neko type furry character instead of a full furry anthropomorphic character. Not that there's anything wrong with nekos, they're awesome too, it just seems to be a trend that any neko is usually a cat. You may like to actually smoke catnip! (Okay that was a joke LOL, but yes, it is possible, and yes it does get humans somewhat high, but most would not recommend it due to it being short & tasting bad! LMAO 😆) You also really like batting things around, or batting things off tables or counters--when you have a cup of tea beside you, the urge to knock your mug off the table is irresistible, even though your rational mind denies the notion from actually happening. You tend to like yarn snd thread, whether that means just playing with it or knitting or sewing etc. and making creations with it! You usually like fish a lot, mostly sushi is your favorite, and usually, you tend to be more based in Japanese culture.

DOGS ; See wolves, but add loyalty hella and way more people-oriented. you're somehow more basic than wolves 🤣

RABBITS ; As someone who has a rabbit as one of my main 3 fursonas, I have to admit I love rabbits. We are usually very social, unlike the animal we're based on, preferring to conversate and meet people. Although, like the rabbit, we may be shy to actually begin the conversation, or initiate plans on our own. We also scare easily, and most of us for some reason tend to have anxiety or panic disorders, not always, but quite often, and that can usually be why we relate to the characters of rabbits which go still & shake or attack fiercely with their hind legs if scared. There are some people with rabbit fursonas that are definitely fully shy, but a lot of them are actually quite more outgoing than you would think they are. And no, rabbits usually don't love carrots. (Including real rabbits, they eat mostly hay and carrots should only be a treat!) But for some reason one thing I noticed is that almost everybody's fursona in existence is. Just. Super sexual and flirty and just out there in every way. They can come across as perverted and strange to a lot of people due to this, once they reveal their true colours rather than their cutesy entrance, to those they know well.

DEER ; You guys are the innocent bunch, the kids that seemed to never know what was going on when it came to violence or sexual content in any media or situation. This innocence continues throughout your life. You're usually a 'deer in the headlights' and can get very confused easily and a lot, and also you can become quite shy and reclusive if you don't have friends to pull you out of it to shove you into social situations by force. You may not be 'the brightest bulb in the bunch', but you are definitely the friendliest, kindest, and most understanding one in it. Most people love being your friend because your support gives strength that can't be found elsewhere, due to the power and stability of your connection to people. You also may really like salad.

BEARS ; You guys are a bunch of big gentle giants. For some reason, most every person who plays a bear fursona seem to be gigantic in real life, either super tall, or super fat, or super muscular, or a combination or all of the above! Whatever it is, they're always big intimidating figures. Yet, despite this, they seem to be very sweet, mild-mannered and very loyal. They also seem to have a lazy streak, preferring to lay down and eat honey rather than do anything productive on time. Don't get me wrong, they'll do the task, but it'll just take until they feel like doing it. However when they have ambition, they have it and have it well, being able to rise to Big manager positions very easily. They tend to be very shy both in romantic situations and just in general. Despite their large presence, they're just a bunch of softies.

OPOSSUMS ; An opossum is one of my main fursonas, based on me. Plus I can tell you from experience that opossums are little shits. They will pester the shit out of you, text you non-stop, and talk your ears off if you let them. They're not trying to be annoying or clingy, but they're just that type of person that really clings to people and likes talking to people as long as possible when they like them. Like raccoons, rats, and other things on this list, they like hoarding treasure and they tend to be sneaky mischievous little beings, loving to pull pranks or make a joke to make someone laugh hard. The opossums are kind of the clowns of the furry species, always being the comedian of the group. We love soft blankets and we tend to sleep with our head under the covers completely like we were in our mother's pouch. Also a lot of us do what I call the 'human sofa', where we curl around someone's back as they sit, and become their backrest, to snuggle them.

WEASELS & FERRETS ; Same as opossum, but make them scary and super suspicious all the time. I mean seriously, these guys are "sus". Who knows what they're up to? But they tend to be great comedians, and can always crack a joke that's sly and sarcastic to make someone burst out laughing, even if it's just one person who does due to their obscure references to their many fandoms.

RACCOONS ; Same as opossums, weasels, and ferrets--except add that you love trash. Whether this means collecting empty boxes, like shoe boxes and electronic boxes, or collecting old newspapers, or straws, or broken glass, (who knows?!) or making new pretty things out of old withered things, all of it you adore! You enjoy the feeling of making the most out of nothing, and pulling something out of your ass to survive no matter what the situation. This tendency can lead to intense resourcefulness in every area of life.

SKUNKS ; They all tend to be really chill, mostly... because all of you are fucking weed smokers! I guess it comes with the territory since skunks have a skunky smell, but damn does your skunky smell smell skunkier than a skunk! 😆🤣 Okay, okay, now besides the usual stoner stereotypes, you skunks are pretty chill beings, usually preferring a night on the couch. Although when they do catch you adventuring, they'd catch you frolicking in nature, and catching tadpoles, or doing something odd in a river. You love forests, and also love the sounds of city, traffic, and cars passing by. Rain is one of your favourite times.

BADGERS ; Y'all are some bad motherfuckers, the type of person who could kick anyone's ass, any amount of people, and come out without a scratch. People like you are nearly indestructible, and also tend to be somewhat snappy and harsh to others, although usually unintentionally. You tend to love honey, and/or any kinds of sweet things, which tends to contrast with your spicy personality. You have a pain tolerance out of this world, and you also have mental pain tolerance as well, seeming to never get hurt or let down by others' actions. This is due to you never fully trusting, and always preparing somewhat for a let down.

TANUKIS (JAPANESE RACCOON DOGS) ; This is my main fursona, and like opossums, Japanese Raccoon Dogs / Tanukis are ridiculously loyal and strange, almost clown-like beings, and also like raccoons, they love finding old things and transforming them into new. They also tend to be very artistic and really like colours, usually having some form of synesthesia if not multiple, usually having to do with colour association. Also you usually have a very strong connection to Japan and it's culture, either being Japanese or just loving the culture itself, and tend to base a lot of your life around Japanese things. You may even be planning to move to Tokyo someday! Tanukis are notoriously mischievous, but in a friendly, jokey way, and they tend to never want to make people mad. Due to this, they are always very friendly and positive, as much as they can, even if they feel the opposite inside. These are also the types of people to be very esoteric, weird, and downright uncanny, which fits their Japanese theme as Japan does some weird shit too LOL. Also usually stoners. Also pretty flirty, but not overly.

COYOTES & OTHER MISC. CANINES ; As a less common version of dogs, you have some manner of uniqueness about you! You tend to be active, especially physically, and in sports, usually very likely to do hiking as well. You tend to be pretty chipper, although you can come across as sarcastic or biting when you're in a bad mood. When you're in a good mood, everyone can feel it, and your smile brightens up the space around you! People tend to be attracted to your demeanor, even if you don't mean to attract them, they still come, and this quality can lead you to some of your lifelong friends (and perhaps, enemies.).

SHARKS & OTHER AQUATICS ; You aquatic creatures tend to be the jocks of the group, however despite your jockiness, you actually have quite a brain on you; being able to figure out complex things like math problems that are way ahead of where you are, or learning to read very soon in your life, and maybe even being in spelling bees or talent shows later on! You tend to have a scientific mind, and definitely have at least one or two fish tanks, if not a whole room full. You can be a bit perverted, and even a little bit dominating in conversation, but for people who can get past that--you make a loyal, fun, and active friend.

SNAKES & OTHER REPTILES ; You all tend to seem shady no matter how stand-up you are, and the fact that you never go in the spotlight, always preferring to stay by the sidelines and observe and watch others closely. Occasionally, you may leave a small remark, and due to you barely talking, those things you do say echo only louder for those who hear. You tend to be reclusive and secluded, loving the silence of rainy days with no one bugging you, and your beautiful reptiles. You tend to be quite confident, and even heroic at your best, being kind and also empathetic and caring, and intelligent. At your worst, you can come off as cold, manipulative or even cruel at times. Snakes and reptiles are usually seen with dislike and/or fear by others, which can lead to a hardened heart in you that makes you trust less easily, fearing judgement in who you are.

AXOLOTLS & OTHER AMPHIBIANS ; You guys kiiinda tend to be the 'uwu i'm special!!1!' bunch, but rather than in an insensitive annoying way, in the way that you're genuinely childish and innocent and naive, which can be both a blessing and a curse. Like the aquatic axolotl, you stay young forever, (kind of like Peter Pan!) and you seemingly never lose your sense of humour, your playfulness, or your absolute randomness at times. You are someone who would fight to the death for a friend you just met, even though you are usually pacifistic. You have great traits when it comes to caring for others, and fully taking care of others--skills that would bode well for you becoming a nurse, doctor, psychiatrist or therapist. You tend to love water, and will go swimming the whole summer while it's warm enough! You also don't mind, even if it's cold, you'll jump in anyway.

MICE & OTHER RODENTS ; You guys tend to be even more cutesy and little than rabbits! A lot of you guys seem to be age aggressors due to mental illness, and thus choose a very small, innocent animal as their fursona. These people can also just be generally childlike, innocent and playful, albeit very shy. The other type of rodents are the creepy ass ones who give off a high & mighty vibe, being very confident, swaggering, and even mysterious at times. They're the cool kids you see in school, pretending to be some mysterious goth kid, but really they just learned the goth look a week ago.

GENERAL INSECTS/BUGS ; You tend to be very odd, weirding out the general public more than you do connect with them. You've always felt a strange disconnect between yourself and the world, feeling like you're not really there or like you could be more. You might have transformed from being a totally different person in your past, to being a radically different person now. You tend to rule change and dreams and mystic things, perhaps even being some sort of psychic. You tend to have an extremely open mind and a very welcoming, understanding personality, due to you even seeing the beauty in bugs, which so many find repulsive. This quality will follow you into life, which you must be careful of--don't start trusting everyone you meet. Due to you always seeing the best in everyone, you can get taken advantage of easily.

And now fictional/mythical/extinct/hybrids down here;

DUTCH ANGEL DRAGONS ; Y'all give off a very confident vibe to me, although it's hidden under an exterior of pretend anxiety or hesitancy, which you really don't feel. You're one of those preppy kids who tends to dress girly regardless of gender, can't handle coffee but loves their jasmine tea, likes their succulents planted in their house in cute little DIY decorated plant vases, and wears pastels of colour. You tend to be a bright, vibrant person who sees the best in things, and you can be a little naive due to your extreme and blind happiness that radiates purely from you.

GENERAL DRAGONS ; You tend to intimidate others easily, but this is not something you mean to do whatsoever. In fact, you usually try your best to make friends although you usually scare them off, whether due to being unintentionally too clingy, or just being too awkward in conversation. You tend to have anxiety or different worries about things, but you try and overtake these things with a massive upbeat attitude. Although sometimes, this attitude does falter, and you can become somewhat pessimistic without reminder. Also, like raccoons, ferrets and other similar animals, you love to hoard treasure and things you love, everything from gemstones, to rocks, to bottle caps, to pieces of broken glass--it doesn't matter what it is, if it's collectible, you will collect it.

PROTOGENS/PRIMAGENS ; You guys tend to lean heavily into the Japanese aesthetic, or at least into the vapourwave aesthetic. Perhaps even steampunk! Whatever it is, you follow it heavily. You also tend to be a tech nerd. You can help anyone with any computer problem almost effortlessly, and you even have knowledge of technologies in the recent past such as devices like record players, VHS tapes, etc. that most younger people wouldn't know about (if you are young, or if you're old, you know from experience.). You could even be a hacker of some sort if you wanted to, considering your huge skill with computers. Personality-wise you tend to be very cutesy, excitable and both very very innocent, and yet somehow perverted, at the same time. You most likely speak more than one language. I'm not sure why, but it seems like every protogen or primagen I've met speaks multiple languages, two at least, if not more.

SERGALS ; Very similar to sharks, with some qualities of reptiles. You guys also have the Leo zodiac-like personality type of loving to be loved; being in the spotlight is your favourite thing, no matter what it's for! Due to this, some Sergals will tire of reaching for difficult positive attention, and will start to even accept negative attention as attention they want, then will try and act like a troll on purpose to fuck with people, only to get a reaction. Other times they're just chill and generally relaxed people, although if you threaten their family they become very hostile and very unstable emotionally, quickly.

CRUX ; Due to the history of the species being about being experimented on, and abused, and combined, etc. etc., people who play cruxes tend to be pretty edgy "look at how dark I am!!" people. However not always--sometimes, weirdly, very girly, upbeat & happy people will roleplay cruxes. So it's kind of unsure what you'll get when you interact with one. It's pretty much a 50/50 chance on whether they're upbeat & happy, or dark & brooding. Whatever the case, they tend to be usually neurodivergent, since cruxes are mentally ill if you think about it basically, a lot of people have latched on to them as their comfort species for being mentally ill. Like dogs, you love squeaky toys and also you love piercings, and tattoos, and any body modification you can achieve!

PHOENIXES ; Similar 'emo' type to cruxes--people generally choose phoenixes due to their history of being unbreakable when it comes to physical harm. Due to this, a lot of emo people latched on to them. However there are also regular people who play phoenixes, and they tend to be very regal--if a bit intimidating, and are very ambitious & strong-minded people. They have a fieryness that blazes through to show their phoenix-y nature bubbling underneath the surface.

GRYPHONS ; For some reason, you tend to be very aggressive and domineering individuals--think Bakugo Katsuki from My Hero Academia, the anime. Sometimes you can come off as a huge asshole, but you're really well meaning on the inside, and you try to do your best by everyone--you just seem intimidating and aggressive due to resting bitch face and voice, LOL.

DINOSAURS ; You are an excitable individual, whether that means being angry easily, or hyper easily. You tend to be younger in age, or at least younger in mind, having an innocent heart and somewhat ferocious ambitions. You are strong and untamable when it comes to authority figures bossing you around. Most of the time there's no changing your mind if it's set, and you can be very stubborn, pushy, and audacious at your worst, and at your best; proud, confident, encouraging and passionate!

SKULLDOGS & OTHER SKULLIES ; Similar to phoenixes and cruxes, they tend to attract emo, goth, punk, or scene people, however rarely a bubbly girly person will roleplay one, and usually do it with pastel colours instead of dark. They tend to be somewhat reclusive, but yet enjoy people's company when forced to interact. They are people who don't really give a shit much in most circumstances, but when something gets them stirred up, it gets them up and going quickly. They can be somewhat cold and harsh to those who don't know them well, who know that it's all a façade of intimidation, to drive you away from getting closer to them.

FOLVES & OTHER HYBRIDS ; Similar to foxes, you're an excitable hyper furball that will jump around the room, and meet as many friends, and talk to as many people as you can! You guys seem to have none of the reclusive types of personality traits that foxes usually have, and instead seem to be very pack-bonded people! You love finding lucky things, like a clock or license plate that has triple numbers, or picking up a lucky penny off the street. The little things in life make you very happy.

So what do you think?

Did I get your species correct?

If so, or if not, tell me why in the replies! I will read 'em all.

#furry #furries #furry fandom #the furry fandom #furry species stereotypes #furry stereotypes #furry species #fursona #fursonas #furry oc #furry ocs #furry original character #furry original characters #furry character #furry characters #stereotypes

2 notes · View notes

kelasparmak · 4 years ago

Note

hello! might i ask for podcast recs? literally anything ! i trust your taste xxxx

Awwww, you! I’ve kept the descriptions short because there’s a LOT, but I’ve given you genre/vibe because I’m not sure which aspect of my taste you like. Also it’s still very long so sticking it under a cut.

Campaign Podcast: Always my number one rec. Improv comedians play a TTRPG and chaos predictably ensues. There’s two campaigns, Star Wars and Skyjacks, the first one is complete and the second one is ongoing – they have slightly different vibes (think TAZ Balance vs Amnesty, I guess). VERY funny and will occasionally punch you in the heart.

Wooden Overcoats: Very funny, frequently heartwarming, excellent acting. Easy to get through (there’s 3 seasons with ~8 episodes each) and even though the characters are usually very stressed and in ridiculous situations, it feels pretty low stakes to listen to so it’s a fun one for if you’re stressed.

Caravan: Western/fantasy which I don’t think is actually a comedy but is still frequently very funny. Great acting, very fun and relatable protagonist who just keeps on choosing compassion over violence. Thoughtful coverage of mental illness, being brown and queer, and sexy vampires. 18+ but not super smutty and has content warnings.

The Strange Case of Starship Iris: Sci-fi drama about revolution and found family. The plot is pretty serious and involves galaxy-level stakes, but/and the series is very much driven by very well-written and realistic human connection right from the start – it’s very good at making you-the-listener genuinely invested in what happens. Loads of queer characters and the crew has two South Asian women, an East Asian woman, a trans Jewish man, and a nonbinary character. I probably don’t need to tell you this, but the world of popular audio fiction is Pretty White, so it’s nice to see podcasts where that’s not the case esp in genre fiction.

Victoriocity: Drama/comedy set in an alternate universe London. Feels very Discworld – really inventive worldbuilding, fun twisty plot, political intrigue, hilarious deadpan narrator, great acting.

In Strange Woods: Musical about grief, trauma, and how small and powerless humans are compared to nature. Really, really good. You’ll cry. It’s a quick listen – 5 episodes, all less than an hour long.

Oblivity: Sci-fi drama comedy, very funny, very found family. You’ll be surprised how much you care about the characters given how stupid it is.

Alice Isn’t Dead: You’ve probably been recommended this already but it bears repeating. Really well-written, acted and produced. This one’s not got a lot of humour in which isn’t usually my preference, but it’s really good. It’s got a lot of the Something’s Not Right energy of Nightvale, but goes full creepy with it. Really immersive but maybe not one you’d binge or listen to right before bed...

Greater Boston: Drama more than comedy but also deeply funny. Lots of apparently separate stories converging, clever writing (really good at giving a massive cast of characters distinct personalities), really emotionally impactful coverage of topics like grief, racial inequality, addiction, classism and more, doesn’t try to give easy answers but is also very focused on community power and optimism. Also there are cheese robots.

We Fix Space Junk: Sci-fi drama comedy, very anticapitalist, big found family feelings. Lots of fun, job-of-the-week episodic format makes it a relatively low-focus thing, even when the stakes are high it feels very safe to listen to, and the characters are v likeable (even the ones you really wouldn’t have expected).

Girl In Space: Sci-fi drama, found family and revolution, you may be noticing a pattern. It’s a lot of fun, the protagonist is super likeable and draws you in from the start. For Vorkosigan Saga fans, if you liked Shards of Honour, you’ll like this. Deals with fraught parental relationships, grief, loneliness, anti-imperialism, and more, but even though the stakes are high I didn’t find it stressful to listen to.

Death By Dying: Dark surreal drama. I don’t know if I’d call it a comedy per se but it’s very funny. Big Nightvale vibes. Deals with grief and mental illness pretty prominently, but in a very reassuring way.

The Prickwillow Papers: Fantasy drama. Lots of fun and incredible voice acting. Deals with the difficulty of letting yourself be helped, coping with guilt, and not being ‘special’. Features the most cantankerous fae you’ve ever encountered. I love her.

Middle:Below: It has GHOSTS it has CATS it has a PICARDIGAN. What more do you need to know? It’s a lot of fun to listen to, often funny and sometimes genuinely spooky (which hits all the harder for how chilled out and cosy it feels most of the time).

Mabel: Dark fantasy drama. Really poetic, well-acted, really good at suspense. Very cool modern take on changeling/fae mythology. Not much humour and very intense, which is not my thing at all, and I’ll be honest I didn’t find it an easy listen, so it took me a long time to get through it. But it’s really good and it’s definitely worth checking out, I did enjoy it, it’s just not necessarily one you’d want to de-stress to at the end of the day.

The Amelia Project: Drama/comedy about an agency that helps people fake their deaths. Great voice acting, very fun, and I really enjoy how international it is. Uses the episodic ‘client of the week’ format in combination with big picture plot in a really engaging way. Feels a bit Leverage-y especially because of how clever/absurd the plans are.

Harlem Queen: Drama set in the Harlem Renaissance. Another serious one, and deals explicitly with heavy issues including racism and violence, without much reprieve in the form of soft moments or humour. But it’s very well-made and worth a listen, and there’s not a lot of it.

The Orphans: Sci-fi drama. Expansive space opera type show with mindblowing amounts of worldbuilding. Revolution, ethics of cloning, anticapitalist, etc. Not a comedy but has some really funny bits. You’ll need to pay attention especially because it starts off with a pretty big cast of characters who don’t refer to each other by name super often and many of them have similar voices. But don’t worry too much about that – you’ll still know what’s going on even if you can’t tell them apart for the first few episodes, and you’ll be able to tell at least some of them apart.

Midst: I’m only a few episodes in but I’m enjoying it so far! Cool worldbuilding, really interesting collaborative narration/storytelling, not a comedy per se but often funny.

I Am In Eskew: Surreal horror, mostly psychological. It’s another Nightvale-y one but again without really any of the humour. It’s really good, but I’ll be honest, I’ve only listened to about 10 episodes so far, even though I started it ages ago.

….and probably lots more that I’m forgetting? I listen to less stuff at the moment because I’m working pretty much all the time, so anything I need to really focus on or that’s emotionally challenging is p much out of the question.

#anonymous

8 notes · View notes

techmomma · 4 years ago

Text

So! You not really an alcohol drinker, or maybe you don’t like the stuff, but you’re out somewhere and trying to decide how to have some and not absolutely hate your drink either. Maybe you’d like to actually enjoy the taste of your drink! Even if you’re not looking to get drunk or even tipsy. Maybe you’re just social drinking once in a blue moon.

But being a newbie, or having only had terrible-tasting alcohol, you have NO idea what to get. Steph is here to help for newbies! Or people who don’t give a damn and just want to have a nice drink that actually tastes good for once, and not in a “oh this very bitter and tart wine is so sweet” way. I am myself now very sensitive to alcohol as a flavor, so the majority of these have Steph’s seal of “shouldn’t taste like trying to stomach down cold medicine and should actually be tasty to normal people who don’t drink alcohol”.

Please note to use this advice responsibly. This is not to help you get drunk, only to help you find a drink you probably won’t have to gag down and can thus enjoy the rest of your night if you’re choosing to partake in alcohol. Imbibing alcohol is a responsibility, and not one to take lightly.

“Girly drinks” are your friends. If you’re young or you don’t drink very much, your tastebuds are probably going to be oriented more toward sweet flavors and less toward bitter flavors. You’re looking for high sugar content baby. (And if you ARE looking to get drunk, this will get you drunk much faster than a whiskey, no matter what your hillbilly uncle says otherwise. that is the entire point of “girly drinks.”)

Most bars, pubs, restaurants and other places often have house drinks or cocktails in their drink menu that they make most often. You’re looking for drinks with ingredients like sweet fruits, like cherries, apricots, watermelon, mango, blue raspberry, lemonade, or novelty things like chocolate or butterscotch or cake or whatever. If anything, just ask the bartender or server if they’re not busy! The bartender will for sure know if it’s sweet, and can probably point you in the right direction if you tell them the flavors you usually like, or what you’re looking for. Yes, you’ll look like a newbie. That’s not the point. The point is to get a drink you’re not gonna gag on and that’s the price you pay.

Only somewhat related, but if you’ve never ordered drinks from a place with a bar, they’ll ask if you want to put it on a tab. That just means, “Do you want me to keep your order open so you can add more drinks later, or is this a one-time deal?” They’ll probably ask for a name then. If your friend’s paying, you give their name.

Typically, stay away from beer. Some rare people enjoy the taste of beer from the start, most do not. If you smell a glass and it smells putrid, steer clear of it. You ain’t gonna like it no matter what you put in it.

Most wines will also not be your friend. To those who do not regularly drink wine, it’s going to be impossibly bitter and feel like it’s drying your throat out despite being a liquid. (That’s the “dry” quality they talk about.)

On the contrary, however, wine spritzers, mixers, and punches? Those are your FRIENDS. These are legit going to taste like juice or soda or punch. They also tend to be lighter on alcoholic content (hence why commonly used for parties), and big on sugar. Spritzers are wine and soda, mixers are wine and some kind of liquor (usually a very sweet or fruity kind like a lemon or strawberry vodka), and wine punches can be as sweet or sour or fruity or tropical as you want. You’ll usually see them referred to as white or red sangrias.

Note: this is sort of why these can actually be MORE dangerous than like having straight-up liquor. These types of drinks with low alcohol and heavy sugar make it very, very easy to drink a lot of them, and have some extra surprise drunk times sneak up on you later because you drank more than you realized.

My rule for safe drinking? One drink per hour, follow with water. You will typically not get more than buzzed, and will stay sufficiently hydrated.

Spritzers, mixers, and punches are part of a larger group called cocktails. Cocktails being just “non-alcoholic drink + alcohol of some kind.” Rum and coke? Cocktail. Bellini? Cocktail.

Champagne cocktails are very often sweet, bubbly drinks. They are Steph’s fave for a reason. Mimosas are perhaps the most famous champagne cocktail. Those are made with orange juice and champagne. Can be surprisingly potent.

When getting cocktails with liquors/spirits, like vodka, rum, and so forth, you will want to stay away from particular ones that are known for very bitter tastes and hard kicks. A bunch also uh, in general taste like the inside of a barrel.

Typically, whiskey, gin, and tequilas are going to be very bitter and gross, and overpower whatever they’re put in. If you like really sour though, tequila goes well with margaritas, which are a lime drink that mostly covers the tequila taste.

Vodka and Rum are typically going to be stomached better, vodka usually being the easiest of all. Both tend to mix well with fruity girly drinks, the kind you’re looking for. Very potent, so imbibe carefully. In most drinks though, you’re still going to get that “cold medicine aftertaste” that clears your sinuses and sometimes it’s just too powerful for the drink. You can usually smell these pretty strongly before you actually drink, and that’ll give you a pretty good idea of the burn you’re gonna feel in a moment. Both are also good in sweet minty drinks, if you like those.

Surprisingly good drink for newbies: mead. It can be a little difficult to get a hold of, but it’s getting more popular. It’s made from honey, so it’s gonna be sweet usually by default. Peach mead? Hell yeah. Peach and honey taste.

Absinthe is actually very tasty, and no it will not make you hallucinate. It actually tastes a lot like licorice candy. Comes in fun colors, and with a sugar cube you dissolve into it on a special spoon. VERY hard to get in the US though, only a few bars sell it as a drink. Like I think it’s literally just a handful of bars across the entire fifty states that have absinthe and absinthe cocktails. If you’ve already tasted Jaegermeister, it tastes like that. I wouldn’t call it a newbie drink, but imo you’ll still enjoy your drink if George just feel like being special today.

Hard ciders have also been hailed as great for newbies, and usually very sweet. They’ve always been hit or miss with me; sometimes, yeah, they’re delicious, and other times they just taste like vaguely-fruity beer. Which is not great.

Beer, to me, tastes like old socks. So y’know, vaguely fruity old socks.

Stay away from most shots. This is usually pure liquor, and it is not pleasant. Especially if you have a small mouth like mine and sometimes can’t do shots in one go. Exceptions are novelty mixers, like those weird cake shots.

Cake-flavored vodka is not as good as you think it sounds.

So here’s some drinks that, as someone who’s tasted a bunch, I can tell you they’ll probably be easier to stomach. Some I actually enjoy as drinks.

Rumchata is horchata with rum in it, so a milky, cinnamon-y kind of drink. Good for newbies.

Kahlua & cream: coffee and cream drink

Mudslide: coffee and cream and irish liqueur; honestly best as a mudslide milkshake. holy shit. that’s heaven.

Bourbon milkshake: honestly if any place sells milkshakes and has a bar, you can ask to get a shot of bourbon added to your milkshake. VERY yummy flavor pair, especially vanilla milkshakes with bourbon.

White russian: kahlua and cream and add vodka

Red russian: vodka with cherry liquor

Dirty Shirley: grenadine (if this is listed as an ingredient that usually means a very sweet drink), soda, maraschino cherries, vodka

Bellini (bars that know what this is are sort of rare, you’ll probably have to explain it): peach juice and champagne

Mimosa: orange juice and champagne (acceptable for breakfast parties!)

Sangria (you usually can’t order this one from bars unless it’s like a special sangria night; this drink is usually found more at parties and social functions): fruit punch + wine + soda if the hosts are younger

Strawberry lemonade vodka: strawberry lemonade and vodka

Malibu cocktail: rum (usually Malibu Rum, hence the name), cranberry juice, pineapple juice.

Blue hawaiian: coconut creme liqueur, pineapple juice, white rum, blue curacao (blue-colored orange liqueur; it’s very fun to mix and also usually means a very sweet drink).

Mojito: rum, soda, lime juice, mint

Mai tai: pineapple juice, lime juice, orange juice, grenadine, white and dark rum

Lemon drop martini: vodka, triple sec (another orange liqueur), sugar and fresh lemon juice

Pina Colada: blended slushy drink made with creme de coconut, rum, and ice

Chocolate martinis: irish cream liqueur, chocolate liqueur, and vodka

Frozen daiquiris: slushy frozen drinks made with fruit juice and rum

Irish coffee: the one place where you actually might enjoy whiskey for those who don’t like it. It’s just that: coffee and usually a whiskey liqueur, like baileys. Creamy, warm, good for cold nights.

Peppermint schnapps hot chocolate: hot chocolate with a peppermint zip. If making yourself, make a big mug first and only add like a capful of peppermint schnapps, it can very easily overpower the chocolate taste. Also creamy and yummy for cold nights.

Hot buttered rum: an intensive recipe, but a very yummy, creamy, warm, butterscotchy drink that you stick a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top of. Hard to get tastier than that. I’m very certain Butterbeer was originally based off of this.

There were a bunch of drinks that are typically considered “girly” for high sugar contents, but having had them before, they were just not sweet. Martinis are usually very dry and bitter no matter the fruit, long island iced teas only taste good if you like iced tea, cosmopolitans (cosmos) are heavy on the vodka flavor, as are watermelon vodkas and alcohol-infused watermelons, and a number of colorful, blended ice drinks that are usually listed are heavy on the alcohol burn, enough to drown out the flavor.

Hope this was helpful! Remember, yes, you might look like a newbie, but the bartender wants to help you find a drink just for you! Ask them questions (when they’re not busy), and they can totally help you out (most just like to help, but at the very least, helping you might mean some extra money at the end of the night). And if they’re real nice they might give you little samples so that you can have a taste for yourself before buying the whole drink.

#alcohol

19 notes · View notes

emospritelet · 5 years ago

Text

Social Distancing - 3/3

Sorry it’s taken me so long to finish this - my smut muse abandoned me.

[AO3]

Sutherland stepped back, motioning to Sergeant Knight to hold the door open, and Lacey sauntered in, hips swinging. She had let down her hair, reddish-brown curls shining in the light of the lamps. It made him want to take a curl and wind it around his fingers, as he had done when they last spent the night together. He remembered how soft it was, how it had felt brushing his chest as she pillowed her head there. Her eyes scanned the room, lips pursed.

“Nice.” she said. “You could pretty much live in a place this big. I guess when you’re Prime Minister, you’re used to this kind of thing.”

“Frustration and jet lag make you stop noticing, after a while,” he said. “I suppose it’s comfortable enough.”

Sergeant Knight had closed the door, and turned back to face Sutherland, his dark eyes taking on that flat look that meant he was trying to be unobtrusive. Sutherland sighed.

“Sergeant, could you please join Sergeant Nolan outside?” he asked. “I’m sure Miss French isn’t here to kill me.”

“Not intentionally, no,” said Lacey cheerfully. “Might bang you to death, but what a way to go, am I right?”

Sergeant Knight closed his eyes momentarily.

“Call if you need anything, sir,” he said, and slipped out of the door, closing it behind him.

“Poor Lance,” sighed Lacey. “I bet that door isn’t soundproof.”

“I should hope not.” Sutherland wavered, feeling a little unsure of himself, as seemed to be the way when he was around Lacey French. “May I offer you a drink?”

“As long as it’s a big one, sure.”

He crossed to the drinks cabinet, where cut crystal glasses sat, waiting to be filled.

“I - ah - there’s some whisky here. Rum… Gin and tonic?”

“I’ll have what you’re having.”

“Whisky, then.”

He set out two glasses, pouring a measure into each and feeling Lacey’s eyes on his back. It was a surprisingly pleasant sensation.

“How are you enjoying your time in the US?” he asked, turning to face her and holding out a glass. She shrugged, taking it.

“Too early to say. I like the food. And the work’s interesting.”

“But you’re going back to the UK in the autumn?”

“I think so. Don’t want to delay my studies too much, experience or not. This is mostly a networking opportunity, anyway.”

She took a sip of her whisky, eyeing him over the top of the glass.

“Well, you certainly made a memorable impression on me,” he remarked, and she grinned, her eyes gleaming.

“Planning on making another one before the evening’s out.”

Sutherland took a sip of his drink, trying to organise the thoughts that seemed to be swarming and multiplying in his brain and stealing his reason.

“Does your father know what happened at Christmas?” he asked, and Lacey rolled her eyes.

“No. I can keep a secret. Besides, it’s none of his business what I do.”

“He may think otherwise.”

“He’s too busy schmoozing and attending dinners to notice, most of the time,” she said. “He asks me how my studies are going, but tends to avoid any discussion of personal crap. Which is fine by me.”

“How are your studies going?” he asked, and she wrinkled her nose.

“Everything was fine until I had to do a damn group project for one of the modules. Why can’t anyone pull their fucking weight? Why do I end up working my ass off for a mediocre piece of crap when I could have aced the thing on my own?”

“Oh, believe me, I know that pain,” he remarked, taking a drink.

“Yeah, well…” She looked irritated. “Dragged my grade down a little. It’s a good thing I got this internship. Should give me some decent material to work with when I go back to class. I’m not settling for anything less than distinction.”

“I have every faith in you,” he said honestly, and she nodded, a sly smile beginning to tug at the corners of her mouth.

“Well, I do tend to get what I want, if I put the work in,” she said, and her eyes gleamed. Sutherland took a swallow of whisky, eyeing her as he lowered the glass.

“And what do you want tonight?”

Lacey pursed her lips, looking him up and down.

“I thought we could pick up where we left off,” she said. “We definitely hit the dozen orgasms, as I recall, but most of those were mine. I think you’re at least eight behind.”

“I wasn’t exactly keeping a count,” he remarked.

“Of course, if you want to focus on me again, I’m cool with that too,” she said, and winked. “How about it, Prime Minister? Want to take me to bed and make me scream?”

“You’re very direct, Miss French,” he observed, and she snorted.

“Good thing too, or you’d never get laid.”

He chuckled at that, setting down his glass.

“I expect you’re right about that.”

Lacey sipped at her own drink, smirking a little before setting her glass down next to his and stepping nearer. She let a finger run around the top of his waistband before hooking behind his belt buckle and tugging him close.

“For what it’s worth, seeing you in action today was kind of a turn-on,” she said, her voice a little lower, a little rougher.

“Was it now?” he murmured, as his hands found her waist.

“Mhmm.” She stepped closer, her breasts pushing against his chest. Her eyes were very blue, sparkling with mischief. “Especially when you yelled at that guy from Gilead.”

“Well, I didn’t like his offhand comment about casualties,” he said, his fingers stroking against the fabric of her dress. “Some of these corporate types need to be told in no uncertain terms to fuck off, and I’m more than happy to be the one to do it.”

“Very sexy of you.”

“Glad you think so.”

He couldn’t help grinning at her, and she was smiling back, the faint smell of whisky on her breath.

“So,” she said, twining her arms around his neck. “Do you want to traumatise poor Lance again, or shall we take this in the bedroom?”

Sutherland bent his head to kiss her, and Lacey moaned into his mouth, pressing herself against him as his tongue pushed into her. She tasted every bit as sweet as he remembered, with the smoky heat of whisky on her tongue. His hands slid down, cupping her rear through the dress she wore, and he tugged her against him, feeling his cock begin to harden as his tongue stroked against hers. Lacey let out a low noise of approval, her hands sliding down his chest and around his waist. She moved her hips, grinding against him and sending a burst of sensation through his body, and he broke the kiss with a gasp, his lips wet.

Lacey murmured contentedly, nuzzling his nose with hers, fingers dancing over his lower back and making him shiver. She swept the hands around his sides, sliding them up his chest. Her fingertips ran over his nipples, making him jerk at her touch, and her eyes opened, fixing on his as a lazy smile curved her lips.

“So the kiss was just as good as I remember,” she whispered. “How’s your stamina? Jet-lag’s a bitch.”

“Good thing I’m used to it,” he growled, squeezing her rear. “Although my energy levels do seem to get a boost from your presence, Miss French.”

“Lucky me.” Lacey had a self-satisfied grin on her face. “I intend to take full advantage. Come on. Let’s go to bed.”

Her hands slid down, one finger hooking around his belt, and she turned in his arms, breaking free and tugging him with her. Sutherland let her lead, aware that he was wearing a ridiculous grin. She seemed to waver as her eyes scanned the room for the bedroom door, but then she strode towards it, turning the handle and letting them in. The bedroom was cool and dimly-lit, only the lamps on the nightstands sending out a warm glow to make shadows stretch along the floor, and Lacey stepped around him and closed the door behind them.

“That should give us some privacy,” she said.

Sutherland grasped her upper arms, shoving her back against the door and making her squeak into his mouth in surprise as he kissed her. Her shock dissipated as a giggle bubbled out of her, and she kissed him back, her tongue stroking against his, her mouth sweet and smoky. He pressed himself against her, feeling his cock swell and harden in his pants, pushing at her groin, the pressure of her body exquisite. Lacey moaned, spreading her legs a little wider, and he ground against her as one foot curled around his calf.

His hands left her arms, sliding over the curves of her waist and hips before rising up to cup her breasts, and she let her leg slip to the floor again, pulling her mouth from his.

“Unzip me!” she whispered.

Sutherland grasped a shoulder and turned her to the wall, sweeping her hair aside so that he could kiss the nape of her neck, Lacey moaning as his mouth sucked at her skin. His hands moved over her hips, tugging up the skirt of her dress, fingers caressing the lace tops of her stockings and sliding over smooth, soft skin. Lacey gasped as his forefinger brushed against the edge of her panties, and he heard himself growl in response. Her skin was hot in the crease at the top of her thigh, and he let his fingers inch further, stroking between her legs and feeling warm lace already damp with her arousal.

Lacey sucked in a breath at his touch, and he bit down into her, a contented moan coming from her as he worked two fingers under the hem of her panties. Her skin was smooth and soft as silk, and his tongue swirled in circles over the back of her neck as his fingertips found heat and slick fluid between her folds. His breathing grew harder, fingers sliding over wet, tender skin, and Lacey moaned, pushing her rear back against him, rubbing against his cock.

“Fuck!” he gasped, and she let out a low chuckle.

“God, I hope so.”

Sutherland grinned, his hand sliding out. She made a discontented sound, but he pushed the skirt of her dress higher, up around her waist, and hooked his fingers under the waistband of the panties to pull them down over her hips, letting them fall at her feet.

“Bed, is it?” he murmured, kissing her neck, and Lacey nodded.

“Hell, yes.”

“Do you have protection?”

“Always.”

He kissed her again, and took a step back, grasping the zipper at the back of her dress and drawing it down. She wriggled her arms out of the sleeves, letting it fall and leaving her in nothing but stockings and heels and a black lace bra. Sutherland stepped back again, eyes running over the taut curves of her buttocks and rising up the groove of her spine to where her chestnut curls tumbled over pale shoulders. God, she’s beautiful. Perfect.

She turned to face him, her lips full and glistening, her eyes darkened with desire. Reaching into the cups of her bra, she drew out three condoms, waving them at him with a glint in her eye.

“You know, you should really start carrying these yourself,” she said. “Never know when a horny intern is gonna jump on you.”

“I have to confess that even the remotest possibility of being jumped on by a horny intern never came up in planning for this trip,” he remarked, and Lacey rolled her eyes.

“The whole point about being prepared is that you can deal with the unexpected,” she said. “Didn’t they teach you that in Prime Minister school?”

“Oh, I assure you I would definitely have remembered the lesson on horny interns.”

Lacey giggled, eyes sparkling, and reached behind her to unhook the bra, the condom packets crackling in her hands. He watched as she took the bra and tossed it aside, and she walked to the bed, hips swaying. Sutherland was trying to keep the grin from his face, and having difficulty doing so. After lengthy travel and a day that had been largely one frustration after another, she was like a balm for his soul.

“Shoes on or off?” she asked.

“Mine or yours?”

Lacey shot him an amused look, and kicked off her shoes, tossing the condoms onto the bed and beckoning him with a finger.

“Get over here and grope me, would you? It’s bloody freezing in here.”

“I can turn up the heat, if you like.”

“Counting on the both of us doing that naturally.” She ran her hands over his chest, fingers plucking at the buttons of his shirt. “You smell good. I’d forgotten how good. You look good, too.”

“You look beautiful,” he said honestly, and Lacey smiled, her eyes sparkling.

“Getting all romantic on me, Prime Minister?”

“Is that bad?” he asked, and she smirked.

“No, but I thought we could leave it for the post-coital snuggle.”

“As you wish.”

Her fingers had gotten all the buttons open and dropped to his belt, drawing the length of leather through the buckle. Sutherland shrugged out of the shirt, the coolness of the room making him shiver slightly, and Lacey leaned in to suck on his nipple, tongue running over it and sending jolts of pleasure through him. He let his fingers push into her hair, soft curls slipping through them, and she raised her head, lunging to press her mouth to his, her lips soft and wet.

Sutherland pushed her backwards onto the bed, falling with her as the giggles burst out of her. He kissed down her neck, lips trailing over her skin and on down her chest to fasten over a hardened nipple. Lacey let out a contented hum, dragging her nails across his scalp and making him shudder in pleasure, goosebumps rippling over his skin. He kissed down over her belly, hands sliding down her thighs and tugging at her stockings, and he knelt up, drawing them down one at time and tugging them off at her feet.

“Well, your feet are like ice, so I guess at least we know you don’t have a fever,” he remarked.

“Told you,” she said, with a smirk. “You’re safe from me.”

“Doesn’t feel that way right now.”

Lacey grinned wickedly, lifting a foot to shove playfully at his chest..

“Whatever I have to dish out, big guy, I’m pretty sure you can take it.”

“Oh, I’ll fucking try,” he growled.

He took off his pants, and Lacey watched avidly, dark hair falling over her face in shining curls as he pushed them over his hips with his underwear. She licked her lips, and he crawled up the bed, his body pushing between her legs until he was pressed up against her. Lacey flung an arm to the side, grasping around until she grabbed one of the condoms, and he pushed up onto his knees again to put it on. She twisted on the bed, getting to her knees and running her hands over his chest as he struggled with the packet before taking it off him. Sutherland put his arms around her neck, letting his head roll back with a sigh as she took him firmly in hand. Lacey squeezed, making him groan, and he looked up again, watching a grin curve her lips.

“Seems like you’re ready for me,” she whispered, and her eyes flicked up to meet his, their usual clear blue darker and deeper in the dim light. “Did you miss me?”

“Yes,” he said softly.

Her grin widened, and she rolled on the condom, leaning in to kiss him again before easing them onto their sides on the bed and rolling him onto his back. She wriggled until she was straddling him, the heat of her against his lower belly, and Sutherland let his eyes roam over her curves, pale skin turned warm in the lamplight. He patted her hips.

“Get up here,” he growled. “Let me taste how sweet you are.”

Lacey shifted, moving up the bed on hands and knees, her breasts brushing against his lips as he tugged her higher, until her knees were either side of his head, and the heat and scent of her bathed his face. He pressed a kiss to her, his nose brushing over her skin, and the tip of his tongue curled out, easing between the soft folds of flesh. Lacey moaned, fingers twisting in his hair, and he let out a low growl as he tasted her. He licked again, teasing her, tongue rubbing over the tiny pearl of her clit, and she gasped, rising up on her knees a little, pushing against his mouth.

He inhaled deeply, drawing the scent of her arousal deep inside, his hands squeezing her rear as he devoured her, tongue swirling and stroking. Lacey moaned, rocking against his mouth, one hand leaving his hair to brace herself against the wall. He let her find a rhythm, moving his tongue in time, listening to her moans rise in pitch and feeling her thighs tremble against him.

Lacey let out a cry as she came, her body twitching and bucking, and he could taste the salty sweetness of her spreading over his tongue as a deep groan rumbled through him. Her moans quietened, her movements slowing, and she sank back onto his chest, her breasts brushing against his nose as she moved down the bed and pushed herself upright with her hands on his belly. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips glistening, and he was aware that he had a self-satisfied grin on his face. Lacey raised her head, eyes catching his.

“Amazing,” she whispered. “But that’s another one for me. I’m building up a hell of a debt here.”

“What’s a few screaming orgasms between friends?” he said lazily, and Lacey chuckled.

“Is that what we are?”

“We’re not enemies,” he said, and she inclined her head.

“Very true,” she agreed. “Even so, I hate feeling indebted. I may have to spend an entire weekend just making you come.”

“That sounds - dreadful,” he said, in a deadpan tone, and she giggled.

“Okay,” she said breathlessly. “You ready?”

“Be gentle with me,” he said, and she let out a low and dirty chuckle.

“You don’t mean that.”

Sutherland shrugged, grinning.

“True enough.”

“I can be gentle later on, if you like.”

“Thanks. Have a feeling I’ll need it.”

“Where’s your sense of adventure?” she demanded, and he smirked.

“I’m a politician. Cautious by nature.”

“Hmm.” She lifted up, reaching between them to grasp his cock and squeeze. “Then buckle up.”

She guided him inside, sinking down onto him in one swift, smooth movement, and Sutherland threw his head back against the pillows, arching up into her with a low groan of pleasure. Lacey moaned, moving her hips in small, slow circles, grinding against him and sending waves of sensation through his body. Her fingers slid up his chest, thumbs rubbing over his nipples in time with her circling hips, and Sutherland closed his eyes, letting the heat of her body and the pleasure of her touch wash over him. His mouth and chin was still sticky with her fluids, her sweet musk drifting into his nose as he breathed deeply.

She was gradually increasing the circles that her hips made, rolling against him, letting his cock slide out almost to the tip before pushing back in, the feel of it making him want to shove her onto her back and thrust inside her hard and fast. Instead he let her set the pace, hands sliding up her thighs and feeling her firm muscles jump beneath her skin as she moved. He opened his eyes, watching the way her hips rolled, golden light gleaming on the curves of her body, her lips full and parted, glistening wet from the pass of her tongue.

She opened her eyes, locking her gaze onto his, and Sutherland rose up into a sitting position, an arm going around her waist and holding her tight against him as his mouth found hers. Lacey rocked against him, moaning into his mouth as her pace quickened, heat and friction building between them, and he bucked his hips in time with her, thrusting into her, a wave of bliss rising up inside and making his skin tingle and hum. Lacey whimpered, arms around his neck, her pace quickening, and he pulled his mouth from hers with a loud groan as he came, his cock pulsing inside her. She let out a moaning cry, flesh tugging at him, gripping him tight, and he let his head roll back, groaning and thrusting as she pulled every drop from him.

He tried to catch his breath, his skin tingling and his heart thumping hard in his chest. Lacey was still moaning contentedly, and he slumped back a little on the bed, arm around her as she stilled, gasping for breath. Sutherland buried his face in the hollow between her neck and shoulder, inhaling deeply and tasting salt on her skin as he kissed her gently.

“Whoa!” she gasped, and he smiled against her neck.

“That about covers it.”

Lacey sighed, and he loosened his grip, letting her lean back a little and grasp the base of the condom, holding it firmly in place as she pulled off him, lips curving in a slow, lazy grin.

“Just as good as I remember,” she murmured. “Glad I brought more condoms.”

“How long are you giving me to recover?” he asked. “It might take a little while before we can do that again.”

Lacey pursed her lips.

“Oh, I have ideas on how to fill the time while we wait,” she said.

“So do I,” he growled.

He rolled them, pushing her onto her back and beginning to kiss his way down. It was going to be another gloriously long, exhausting night.

#fic: social distancing #sutheracey fic #sutheracey #rumbelle fic #my fic #sprite's pandemic promptathon #lemon fic

32 notes · View notes